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28 Hour Show - Movies - Part 5
28 Hour Show MoviesKIOZRock 105.3
28 hour radio marathonThe Fellowship of the Ringlive movie commentaryon air exhaustionlistener watch partycharacter debatesradiomarathoncommentarylord of the ringsfellowshiphobbits
This show covers The DVD sync, Hobbit fire marshal, P1 parking-lot watch party, Headphones die on air.
What happened, in order
The DVD sync
Mikey counted listeners into The Fellowship of the Ring, explained that subtitles had reversed his initial dislike of the movie, and heard Eddie admit he had seen it more than 20 times.
Hobbit fire marshal
After identifying one of Peter Jackson's children among the hobbits, the group turned the indoor firework scene into an argument about fire codes and whether Hobbiton had become an episode of Jackass.
P1 parking-lot watch party
Mikey relayed his wife's report that P1 listeners were watching from the parking lot on their car stereos while the room compared the wizard duel to Magneto fighting Count Dooku.
Headphones die on air
A headphone console failed during the broadcast, prompting an anxious check that listeners could still hear before the crew fixed it and joked that they had never left the air.
Skye backs Arwen
Skye defended Arwen as a capable woman, the others called the rescue a horse race, and the room argued over whether Frodo had died or would still be saved.
Midnight endurance crisis
At midnight the hosts realized the 28-hour marathon still had ten hours to go and seriously joked about renaming it the 20-hour or even 19-hour show.
The sleeping-coworker roll call
The exhausted crew tried to locate Sean, confirmed Bobby Colonel was asleep, and established that Ashley was still awake doing behind-the-scenes work.
Boston Rob brings a date
In the middle of the Balrog confrontation, Boston Rob arrived with a woman and proudly told the incredulous room that he always had something in the works.
Is Galadriel evil?
Mikey recalled arguing with his wife that Galadriel seemed evil when tempted by the ring, while the others countered that Gandalf had rejected it for the same reason.
Boromir as bad boyfriend
The hosts reframed Boromir's attempt to take the ring from Frodo as an abusive relationship, mocking his scare tactics and urging Frodo not to take him back.
Movie one complete
As the film ended, the crew joked that Middle-earth had not actually been saved, then returned to the studio for calls and a regroup while Eddie announced an urgent bathroom break.
People mentioned
MikeyEddieSkyeBoston RobSeanAshleyBobby ColonelPeter JacksonFrodoGandalfArwenGaladrielBoromir
14,110 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Okay. So I'm going to say one, two, three, go. When I say go, we want you to hit play on your DVDs at home. Are you ready, Eddie? Yep. Here we go. One. I'm nervous. Two, three, go. We hit play. All right. This was the greatest. I didn't give this movie a chance, by the way, when I first saw it. Nope. I just didn't give it a chance. I was so angry with you. Yeah, I know. I had to watch it again with the subtitles. When I watched it with the subtitles, it made all the difference in the world to me. You know, it's tough. The way J.R.R. Tolkien talks. I mean, it's a whole language. I love it. Once you read it, though, you're fine with it. Yeah, Boston Robb, big fan. Really? Oh, yeah. How many times have you seen this, Boston Robb? Uh, a few. I actually own it. Eddie, how many times do you think this is, seeing this for you? Uh, I would probably say... I've got to be in the 20s now. Holy cow! Well, it's on all the time on, like, cable and stuff, and I just, you know, I watch it when it's on. Whenever it's there, you watch it. Yep. People are all synced up with us at home. They've turned this on with us at home. The world is changed. Great. I feel it in the water. The sky's coming in now.
He's got on his comfy clothes. Did he get by, Sky? He could take Mr. Sky with you. Take Mr. Sky with you. He could sit over there with you. Whenever this comes on the screen, when you were going to see these in the theater, all us geeks would burst out screaming happy. It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to him. Don't get any ideas, honey. What, are you going to turn her into an elf? Oh, look at the size of that ring. I see. Great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. Oh, those are my people. Mine rings were gifted to the race of men who, above all else, desire power. For within these rings were found the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them on the sea. Oh, that looks like Boston. You've got your Gondor. You've got your Mordor.
You got your Watts? Bring out the gimp. Seriously. Why a ring? I mean, is that really a cool thing of power? Yeah, look at that. That doesn't look cool. That looks like one of Gay Chase's rings. It doesn't look cool with the fairy writing on it? You guys don't think so? That's not masculine? No, not at all. who resisted. A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-earth. Boston Robs woke up next to that a few times in PB. More than a few. Everybody, it's 2 a.m. PB just got out. Those guys are going to start fighting the battle on plaque. Anderson. Victory wasn't here. Late deodorant wasn't. But the power of the ring could not be undone. Seriously. It's like if Arm and Hammer had endless money to spend on special effects. It's Robin Williams right there. Sweet. You look like him. After all that, that was easy.
That's all you gotta do, huh? Cut off the fingers? I've been known to drop a digit or two. You know what I'm saying? They're being rizzled. So stupid. But funny. I'd smoke that normally. Has anyone seen Sean? I'm kidding. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. What are these attacking? What is this, orcs or ox or orcs? It betrayed his healer through his death. Yeah, it's Mark Spitz. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. So cryptic. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the ring passed.
I found the rings. Take a look, dude. There she is. It's your new mayor. Your mayor is San Diego right there. Came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. Misty Mountains? I've heard that name before. On the main stage, Misty Mountains. Sean. Welcome to the movie, buddy. Sean is just showing up. The ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For 500 years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. On with it already. Please. Please. Get old or something. Something happened. The ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A hobbit. A famous British character actor.
We certainly will. I mean... What are you bringing in here, buddy? What is it? House of Blues. Is Joey here? Oh yeah, bring him in. Have him come in and hang out and watch. That's nice of him. House of Blues are good people. Ladies and gentlemen, my family. Yes. He's my favorite. Oh, yeah, dude. I love that hat. I'm going to get me one of those. You don't have one? No, not yet. Oddly enough, that only hat that would fit that awful head. If I could grow a beard like that, all the way. A wizard is never late. I wonder what the Hobbit sewage system worked like. I mean, was it old and antiquated? Do you think they were ahead of their time? They were way ahead of their time. How you doing, buddy?
Dude, you can hang out. Take a seat and watch movies with us. I think they just took dumps in the river. That's just gross. I am. Just my opinion. Listen. Whoa, gay. Awkward. Even Gay Chase is like, hey, that's gay. News of the outside world. Tell me everything. Brad and Jen broke up. Well, what can I tell you? See, there's the old dump river. Also known as the famous Pooh River. Man, it stinks right there. That's the caca bridge. Don't shave. Hey, Rob, that's like that barbecue you threw where you didn't invite Sky and Mikey. Yeah, remember that one? I remember that one.
What are you talking about? I wasn't even there, and I remember it vividly. Oh, look at that pipe. This guy's like, I wonder if I go on eBay. Search Gandalf pipe. Exactly. Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected. If you're referring to the abortion that happened a few years back, well, that's just in poor taste. I'll remember the time that I performed the episiotomy. Of course, I'm not a doctor. You have fireworks. Imagine if the whole thing blew up in a movie. Oh, look at the lack of neck on that guy. Makeup won't be invented for another hundred years. Can we kiss on the mouth? Thanks for the ride. Got to go register now. I remember when I picked up Hugh Grant. What? They can build outside. Do they know that? No, apparently not. I mean... Going to wash that gray right out of my beard. Nice place to put the doorknob, by the way. And what about very old friends? I mean old. I wonder what...
Ty Pennington could do with this place. He's got the body of a 112-year-old. Hysterical. Welcome. Ikea? Tea? Well, maybe something a little stronger. I've got a few bottles of the old Wynyard left. $12.96. Very good year. Ah, yes, the old wingman. My favorite. It's delicious. Obviously. Just tea, thank you. Oh, look, a heads up. Hey, hey, hey, you're tall, it's small, get it? Look out, don't do it again. Oh, see, see what I told you. Uh-oh. Oh, my goodness. That's weird, you'd think they'd be able to hear Sky and Middle Earth. You would think.
You have any shampoo with that cheese you got in there? Maybe some soap? Calvin and Hobbes? I've seen this one. I can make you some eggs if you look. Wouldn't it be funny if you picked that up and it was like Calvin pissing on the Raiders logo? I'd laugh. I don't know about you guys. 482 at Bush. We've got him at gunpoint. We got their cheese bread. And what kind of cheese is that? Sky, would you eat any of that stuff? The bread. Just the bread? That's like scones. Yeah, you wouldn't want any of that dookie pie that appears to be sitting on the table.
No, thank you. Like a lump of sump on top of it. Gross. Yes, yes. Hobbit's good engineers, you'd think, has the electricity in that place. I know. Not good. Well, there are candles right there. Yeah. He'd probably come with me if I asked him. Hot water heater? No. I think it is. AC? Is there a microwave in the background? I'm old, Gandalf. I'm not kidding. I don't know if Gandalf did the dreads. It actually wouldn't look too bad. I think it's fun for Rob to watch entire movies squinting. These movies are my wife's favorite of all time. In fact, I mean not to. They're movies all time. They're great. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm talking about. Okay, okay. Sky, can you do that? Can you make the sailboat? Gnarly. Obviously. This will be a night to remember. Chico College Reunion. Sky Show. Edit. Some broad-form cheetahs comes jumping out of that thing. That's the size of the cake we've got to get Sky every year for her freaking birthday. That's right. Rudy! Rudy! Hey, there's Charlie! You all, everybody. I think I'll just have another ale. No, you don't. He's pretty chunky, too, huh? Tell KGB to kill that. And they're all arguing amongst themselves. Where did they find such...
Strange-looking elven children. You know what? That's Peter Jackson's kid. Are you serious? Yeah. One of those big eyes. That retard-listen kid. What? What? What? Kelsey, what did I do? Stop it. Am I saying something wrong? Yes. Yes. Why we're reacting like this. Which part? Okay. A fire marshal. Who knows a big one? Big one. My ween it? Well, I mean, fundamentally, that's stupid. Yeah, I mean, inside, lighting it inside. I mean, what is this, an episode of Jackass? Yeah, just wait. It's all fun and games until a freaking firework dragon kills everybody. Probably hobbits haven't invented dentistry. Kind of underwhelming. Ah, Yahoo Sirius, ladies and gentlemen. Marietta Brandybuck.
Blackface acceptable in Hobbiton. Sky, what do you think of that? It's not what they're doing, obviously. Speech Bilbo, no one cares, anyway. That was for you, Mikey. Marge shot. Eleven-ty-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. Yeah, it's trying to communicate with Ashley. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Oh, uncomfortable. Awkward. Inappropriate. Was that a technical flaw? Did I see the Lance Armstrong bracelet on him? Philbo, don't do it, Philbo.
Don't do it, though. I regret to announce this is the ace. I'm going now. You, I bid you all a very fond farewell. He has a nice little tan going. You know, Skye? Looks good. Is everyone that's got a little tan attractive? Is that it? Well, he just looks very healthy. He's got some rosy cheeks, nice colors. You'd think that hat would protect him. Well, you would think. From the sun. Yeah. I don't know. The good stick. Oh, Gandalf. Can't you see their faces? There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly. Especially the Super Bowl ring. Oh, you're probably right, as usual. You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you? Two eyes. As often as I can spare them. I'm leaving everything to him. What about this ring of yours? Even the cheese?
How thoughtful. In an envelope over there on the mantelpiece. Wait, it's first signs of Alzheimer's. Mm-hmm. This is how Ronald Reagan died. That's right. Oh, I don't think so. Same way, Sky. No, that's not fair. That kind of crosses the line, dude. Come on. Why should I keep it? You should leave the ring behind. What? That's the conversation him and Nancy had. Oh, wait. No. I'm not joking. Oh. And yes. Take it easy, Bilbo. I don't feel like talking with it. Somebody's on the rag. It came to me. There's no need to get angry. What if I'm angry? It's your fault. Turns out it's Sky. That's not accurate. Oh, sorry.
You should know because we're all in the same cycle. Remember me and your girlfriend? Remember? We all menstruate at the same time. I mean, we can discuss it if you'd like to right now. Shut up. What? Put up your two-foot dukes. Oh, here we go. Do you think that's what Ashley and Rob see when you get mad at them? I'm trying to help you. There's your big line, Mikey. That's right. A huggy-wuggy pudding pie. What? Hey. What? It's been a long road, man. Hey. It's the right kind of transport. It is long. I'm out. Got your shoes. Don't forget your iPod. No. Forgetting something? It's still in your pocket. L-Inspiron 700M. Oh, this old thing. Don't drop that, though.
Flashlight or anything? I've thought up an ending for my book. The Kama Sutra. And he lives happily ever after to the end of his days. And I'm sure you will. Sean, does it concern you how grimy all these people are? Sean couldn't have lived there. Yeah, Sean couldn't have lived in Hobbiton. Sean, imagine running your fingers through Gandalf's beard. Imagine me running my fist across your face. Sean, how much would it cost to get you to put all of Gandalf's beard in your mouth? Come on. Do it. Give me a figure. No. All right. How much to clean his eyebrows like a cat? I'm not sharing mustache, bro. I'm pretty gone myself, bro. What's up, Topher Grace? Oh, you're not Topher.
That's a great question, Skye. There's some things that I must see to. What things? First of all, making this house bigger's first thing. I don't understand. Revenge of the Sith is out today. Gotta go get it. It'll be our little secret, just like me and Uncle Bilbo. Made by Michael Jackson. The Hyatt La Jolla right there. I fast-purchased Ramsay. Best photography ever done. There's any fish in there, Eddie?
And if so, what kind of lure? I'd say you should probably use salmon eggs. See, I was initially thinking like a nice little spinner. Hey, to each his own. But dirty. Yeah. Talk about corners. And he's drinking. Oh, my. What must be, what is the liquid in that thing? It's all. Seriously. Big finger. I think it's cold. I mean, everybody's house was pretty much the same. There was no custom homes back then. It's all track houses. Yeah, it's all track Hobbiton. Is that right? Liar face. Look at that dude. He's so drunk. Night, bro.
So wasted. Mom! That's my skull! You know what they say about hobbits with big feet? So dramatic. Oh, Gandalf, you are so high and drunk. Look at him, he's all paranoid. That's what he's a jewelry man. Smoke that too, Gandalf. On the forceps. Hold out your hand, Frodo. That's hot, though. It's quite cool. No, it isn't. Ow! Ow! Uh, my flesh burning off. Nothing. There's nothing. Wait. It's some form of elvish. I can't read it. Uh, it's like blue suede shoes. I don't know what elvish song was good in here. Elvish. Oh, I see, I see. Elvish. It says one ring. One ring. Oh, you speak common tongue. This is the one ring.
Forged by the Dark Lords. Oh, how many times with the weed, bro? Hey. Lay off. It helps. Whoever wants to work for Clear Channel, they're going to test him. Beautiful eyes. Sauron was destroyed. How old was Elijah Wood when they filmed it? Like eight, nine years old? The spirit of Sauron, my dear. You know, Gandalf, you have surgery now for those bags under your eyes. They're like rabbits, believe me. This guy's crazy. What sort of ring is this again? I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, I'm just a little creeped out by the ring thing.
I'm dying for some cheese. Like, be honest, where was the ring? No one knows it's here, do they? Do they, Gandalf? There is one other. You, the Bilbo, had the ring. I looked everywhere for the creature. Sawyer. In all that. Bring a little bat in. I don't know how long they taught you. Yeah, it looks like it's my chiropractor. Baggins. That would lead them here. Oh, don't you? Take it. You cannot offer me this ring. I'm giving it to you. Don't tempt me, Frodo. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, now you made him mad. From a desire to do good. You wouldn't. You'd mess it all up, wouldn't you? Through me. But I cannot stay in the Shire. No. Take it like El Centro or Indio or... You'd be good there. Nobody goes there. What about you? I'll be waiting for you at the inn of the Prancing Pony.
That's a gay bar. Chase is like, damn straight. Is that what you're calling it these days, your order? You're just lucky I know where the Prancing Pony is. I was drunk the last time I was in Prancing Pony. It goes off about 4 a.m. I hope it's really our amazing piece. Bring a pacifier. You can learn all the things to know about that place. Clostics and pacifiers at the Prancing Pony, okay? Oh, wow. Have you checked out the glory holes yet? All right. I don't know. That's the most definite yes. Oh, oh, who could it be? Boston Rob. Oh, you little stoner. I'm a drop of no eaves, so I'm honest. I'm trying to collect canes out here.
A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think? I heard Ray's voice. What did you hear? Speak! Nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about a ring and a dark lord and something about the end of the world, but... Hey, Mr. Candle, sir, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me in anything unnatural. No. Like a woman with a brain. No! Moron. Come along, sir. Seriously, Mike. Be careful, those of you. The enemy has many spies in his service. Birds. By enemy, the raiders. Never put it on, for the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. You're not my dad. It wants to be found. Pony, what do you think? A walk with size 36 feet. Effort into it, people.
If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been. Oh, God, drama queen. Yeah, really? Like, how does he really know that? Like, seriously? So you walked to that point and stopped? Is that what you've been doing this whole time? Yeah, and no other point anywhere is further than that. Grab him by the car. Let's go, Chubsy. We're moving on, all right? She's a little slow, isn't he? Broto's a chubby chaser. Exactly. What? That one? Raise the new flag. Smoke rises from the mountain of doom. Count Dooku, I presume. Oh, yeah, this guy. Count Dooku, you son of a bitch. Dude, you look bad. For a Jedi. Anybody have any prowl?
In this castle at all? Head and shoulders? Yeah, something. It's a sweet bong. Did you know there's a golf ball stuck in your... Four? Time. What time? Timing up for a game of foosball. Sauron has regained much of his former strength. Leave me to the candelabra. Leave me to the candelabra. His spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress. Ah, some vino. Yeah. It's just like Kevin Douglas' engineering room in the back. Nothing hotter than a redhead. Sweet bowling ball. Yeah, it's a great big marble. What do you want me to do with it? Oh, hello. Something ain't right here. Body senses tingling, Sean. Disguised.
Isn't that a douche? Midsummer's Eve? Stay with me, people. Come on. It's like freaking 15 hours. My wife just told me that there's a bunch of P1s sitting out in the parking lot listening to their stereos and hanging out with us. Isn't that cool? That's cool. What up, P1s? Apparently there can't be any nose jobs either because somebody needs one. See, how did he get his hair so clean and silky? Yeah. Well, he went on Extreme Makeover Wizard Edition. Wizard Edition. This is sweet. It's Magneto versus Dooku. That's awesome. You know what I'm talking about, Sean? It's like Grumpy Old Men 3. They're all doing this in diapers. This is actually a Viagra commercial. Yeah.
Watch, he can get it up now. Watch. He's going to do something with his staff. Back to the corner. Yeah, if I take another step, we've heard it. Uh-oh. Oh, he's seen something new. So shiny. Hey. Mr. Brodo? What are you talking about? It's just something Gandalf said. What did he say? I'm thinking about the Prancing Pony, okay? I don't mean to. We'll get there. We're still in the Shire. What could possibly happen? Oh, oh. Oh, for goodness sake. Wow, RG. You all, everybody. Come on. The other. You guys got any weed? You've been in the formal magazine. Sweet free cabbage. Well, the Kaiser plate. I have two cavities. And I'm those three bags of potatoes that we left here last week. Patuotals? Yes, Pippin. My point is, he's clearly over. Scotty Pippin's there? Run!
Oh, now how did that end up perfectly in his mouth? I think I've broken some. Holy cow, what do you think, Sean? Come on, Sean. Sean, how much you stick the whole foot in your mouth? Shortcut. Shortcut to what? Mushrooms. Oh, Scott Legas. What up? Ragoo. Yeah, go ahead and run the legal right over this. The Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is brought to you by KSWB Channel 569. Tune in Thursday night for Smallville at 8 o'clock. The official home of the Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is KIOZ San Diego's Rock. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 11 p.m. and 12 a.m. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. We've been on 17 hours, you guys.
You're a liar. Anybody want something to drink? I'll take a bourbon on the rocks. No, I don't think you will. Oh, well. Thank you, Rizzle. I like a Slurpee. That does sound nice. Did that happen, Rob? Sean, how much to French kiss that bridle? Ew. Oh, forget about it. Poor Gaston. Oh, yeah. Okay, Eddie. Eddie. That's the pony. Yeah, I can't wait. Let me just slip this bad boy on. You know what I'm talking about? Okay, it's not that kind of ring. Yes, it is. Look at where I'm going to put it on. Oh, that's a finger. Never mind. Sorry. If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you. Dead with Sean. Hey, it's nice. African-American. Yeah, exactly. Frodo.
You just made that up. You just made that up. Yeah, like, what is that? Buckleberry Fairy. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'll be right there, dude. Far behind. Yeah. Well, part of the reason is he runs in slow motion. Oh, great observation. Never good. Yeah. Especially when you're being chased. Yeah, it's worse. Just jump. It's not too easy to jump, too, when you've got nine foot feet. Oh, really? Brandy Winebridge. Right next to the Hamburger Hill. Here we come. Pancing pony. So close. I'm getting all tingling inside. I know somebody at the door. Hang on. I know the door, man. Carson, let me in. What do you want? Pants two times on the front door if you want me.
It's going off in there, guys. Where's your pacifiers? Where are you? All right, young sir. I meant no offense. My child has questions after night. There's talk of strange folk abroad. What's the password? Taint. All right, you're in. Come on. Unnecessary. And the passphrase. It ain't my taint. Enter. If you know what I mean. Ah, yes. Welcome! Is that Barry Gibb? It's all the Bee Gees. Um, a sea breeze, please? Cosmo, please. What's other gay stuff, Chase? I'm running down to bits. Running out of the gay drinks. We're friends of Gandalf the Grey. Can you tell them we've arrived? Tootie Fruity. I didn't ask for your nickname. I'm not the chick from Facts of Life. I've not seen him for six months.
Walk around with all the tall people. And the ferret. Mm-hmm. Now you guys know how I feel when I interview the Chargers. Boo. What's that? My wife liked that one. It's a pint. It comes in pints. Huh? I can get you one. You're not all half already. Boss and Rob. That fellow is nothing but staring at you. Okay, yeah, he wants to kick my ass. Fine. Or something else. This is the Prancing Pony. That man in the corner. He's hot. Can you buy him a drink from me? Can we get a plume and onion over here? Yeah. Plume and onion. It's like a petite cut. What do you call them? Petite cut ones? What are those things called? I don't know. I've never ordered one. Shut your mouth.
I get the boy size. Sorry. I'll tell you, dude, especially in the prancing pony. You know it, sweetie. I get the man size. That's what I thought it said. I was like, God, that's rude. We're taking that word back. Oh, you are so stupid. Diarrhea of the mouth, this guy. Yeah, great. My friend you want to kill? Yeah, he's sitting right over there. You should go kill him now while he's sitting out in the open. Oh, no. Now, how does this fall right on his finger? Yeah, this is so dumb. Come on. And let's put it on. If only carny games were that easy. Uh-oh, throwing up. Dude, those mushrooms are kicking in. Big time, man. Sweet. It's going to take a while. They're running in slow motion, too.
Oh, okay. Oh, thank goodness. That's like a giant vagina on the rag. Stop with some vagina references. I'm just saying. I mean, seriously. Listen, that's what I see. I'm sure you do. It's scary. It's frightening. I'm sure you do. A little more caution from you. That is no drinking you carry. I carry nothing. I can avoid being seen if I wear it. Ow! But to disappear entirely, that is a rare gift. There you go. You were in Hill Doggo. He was in Hill Doggo. I like that movie. Gay. What's wrong with that movie? You like a doggo? That was awful. Fuck those horses. Okay, you're right. Oh, really? Will you really? He's scared. Got him now with that stool. Yeah, what, are you going to stool me to death? I've got a stool sample right here. We are in the Prancing Pony. I'll push this stool in real good. All right.
Everybody, I'll be here all night long. That's right, baby. It's just getting started. Great. I'm fired up now. Great. A dream. Kids in the crowd, thank you. You're so much younger than me, Sky. I never watched Dallas. Heard about it. That old show, Dallas. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Oh. Except we're not really there anyway. That's a stabbing cabin. Oh my god! Like 12 or 3's. Is going off in here. Not so much. They look like the Ya-Ya sisterhood sitting together like that. Hi. Does anyone know what he's talking about? Let's get back to the prancing pony. Still early.
I don't know what he's talking about. The creditors. You're so mysterious. Yeah, he is. That's why I like him, Scott. Yeah. Sawyer's kind of like that, too. You think? Rivendell. Yes. Rivendell. Rivendell. Is that 760-858 or 619? Yeah, North County, definitely. That is North County, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Sean, isn't that where, like, Archie and Jughead are from, Livendale? Help me out here, man. I don't know. You're so stupid. We've had one, yes. Here we go, Mikey. Second breakfast. Second breakfast. Mikey has second breakfast every day. What about eleventies? What about ninth breakfast? Eleventies. There you go. Fuji apple.
Dude, cut your nails. Manicure. Nice Coke finger. Seriously. Don't say it any. It's a bowling ball. He just said Kasima's good. Everybody else awake in the room? What's going on? You guys all right? All right, just checking. Help yourself to goodies if you guys want. That's what all this food's for, please. You're such a good hostess. Well, I don't want it just to go to waste. Like, what if people are hungry? You know? What's for? Come on. This is Mickey Mads guy. He's a hippie. Cutting down the trees and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, dude. Like when they have that one, what is it, the second one where the trees walk and stuff? Yeah. I feel for him, man. Well, it's not a documentary, just to give you the heads up. What? This isn't real. Didn't happen? No. How about that part in the movie where they go to Fallujah and kill all the Iraqis? Wait, I don't remember that part. Even with the rain showing, he doesn't get clean.
Yeah, my Aunt Carmen. Dude, that's so rude. What? I know you're Aunt Carmen. That's awful. Me too. I mean, she does look like that, but you don't have to say it. Hey, Eddie. God. I'm so mean. Sound like what? They don't? Shower, yes. Okay. Pop-up tents there? No, no umbrellas, nothing. We're in phallic towns. You did not. I think he did. Yeah, I think he did, too. I don't know why it shocks me anymore. These are the gayest weapons I could find. They're all for you. Nice. Sean going back to San Jose. He's going to find his voice box. He ain't gonna find it.
Dummies. Now, they were cooking bacon and tomatoes. Anyone? Ah, yes. Anyone? One of the best breakfasts ever. Cancerous. Got our dull swords here. Yep. And we got our nail clippers. These ought to work good. Thanks, Aragon. Thanks for the nail file. We should do great with these. Open us a lot. I can't even open my envelopes with those. Right. At least they don't look menacing or anything. Oh, my. Now, didn't Chase wear that glove on Halloween? Yes. I think he did, yeah. Okay. I was making sure. And those boots. Didn't notice that. They're the ya-ya sisterhood. You got him now, Sam. Bad move. Yeah. Frodo. Yeah, piss him off. That should work. Oh. Why the fall? Why did you fall? Yeah. Out of all times to fall. I mean, come on. His feet are nine feet long. That's right. Oh, yeah. Pull the...
ring out and wave it around, dude. You guys interested in this thing? Hey, anyone? That'd be like me whipping out a joint right now in front of the sky. Like, hey, you can't have this. You know, the ultimate joint of power. Yeah. The one joint to smoke them all out. Oh, I'm in on that. Oh, later. I can still see you, dumbhead. Ha ha, we're dead too in the little world of the foggy London town. Foggy London town. Hey, what's cooking, good-looking? That's my favorite. That's awesome. Uh-oh. My Uncle Carmen. Yeah, that would hurt. It always hurts the first time, dude. That's right. Oh, you little bitch. I'm crying. With that dude, Sword of Death. Yeah, with the Nazgul. Is it called the Sword of Death? No, I just made that up. As opposed to that Sword of Life they have over there? Yeah. Yeah, you think Tolkien was sitting around going, what's that going on? Sword of death. That sounds good. Good thing the Nazgul has AIS. My headphone's just dead. Yeah. I think we unplugged something over here. There we go. Hello. Is that working? Hello. Tattoo's on fire. I didn't do it. This guy did it. I didn't touch the thing, man. This guy, why are you doing that? I didn't do nothing. It's this one right here. This one right here died.
Can people hear me on the radio right now? Eddie, can you hear me? I think it's just this headphone console thing went out. Aw. Help her. There we go. Hey, there we go. Thanks, man. Yeah, I get here perfectly. And we're back. We're never away. What? I was. Where'd you go, dude? My own little special place. When are we going to sync up Pink Floyd to the wall with this? I got you. Awesome. And ladies and gentlemen, Clear Channel San Diego's building. Would you like to be hired to be one of these singers? Okay. Unnecessary. Yeah, thank you. All right, we get it. You won Mikey Idol. Yeah, seriously, rub it in a little more. You're the best singer ever. We all suck. Great. I was robbed. We have an elephant bug. Go ahead. Talk to it. Talk to it.
That's Clear Channel San Diego. And now we go live to the Raiders parking lot. So that's how paper is made. And that, Rob, is how a bill becomes a law. That was a good one, take five. Yeah. Oh, all right. Hey, it's a joke. Oh. That's right. It's a beautiful thing. All right, Sean, how much to stick that whole thing in your mouth? Uh-oh. Poo babies. Poo babies. So gross. Now it's the dookie monster. All for the Chicago Bulls. Scotty Pippin.
He's going cold. If we only had a daughter of a famous lead singer. Whoa. Uh-oh. You got Frodo. You got Pippin. Sam. Don't forget Mary. Where's Steve and Phil? But isn't it like Samwise? Yes, it is. Or something, I'm sure. Samwise Ganji. Samwise? Samwise Ganji. Oh, oh, look at this. A little something going on here. She's beautiful. Take it easy. Oh, this movie. Lesbo. I'm just saying. Oh, stupid. Aw, thanks, sir. She's Alicia Silverstone. On music video, dude. Dude.
Lady. Love in an elevator. Rob thinks subtitles are funny. Yeah. If he played that backwards, he says, don't push the button. The button's bad. Oh, no doubt. Just heads up. Here, open this one. Let me spit in there. Varicose veins not looking good. I think there are five races. I heard you got a P in it. I didn't see if Sean went back to California. Oh, wait, we're in California. to protect her. She's a strong independent woman. Do you have to be a beating even during this? I'm just saying. He's trying to stop her. She's got it. God, please. She'll do better than him. Watch. Watch, Eddie. Okay. I'm just going to show you what's up. The dude was Hidalgo. That's bomb. He could race. He loved the painted horse. What the hell are you talking about? Hidalgo. Oh, my God. He wants to set the Mustangs free. All right. See?
Frodo is on a bad trip right now, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. Do you see how many mushrooms he ate? Dude, seriously. You're supposed to eat like half of one. Like, just throw up and you'll feel better, dude. Dude, that's the most acid I've ever seen anybody take. I got my money on the white horse. That's right, B-Rob. Come on. Rob literally picking a horse. Uh-oh. There's Emilio Estevez and Kiefer Sutherland. Well, no, that's a different movie. I love that movie. It's called Young Guns, guys. Thanks for helping me out. I know. You just didn't feel like saying it? I'm watching my horse. Oh, sorry. Jeez, I got a lot of money going on this one. You do? Oh, oh, it's not looking so good, Frodo. Just give him. Give him up. Right there. No!
Why? Who cares? Because he's going to save Middle Earth, dude. How do you know? Well, that's the plan. He's their only hope. Haven't you been paying attention? Yeah, thanks for ruining the movie for us, Scott. I didn't say if he would or not. I said he's trying. He's the only hope. Come on. Come on, white horse. Rounding corner number four. And down the stretch they come. It's Steven Tyler's daughter in the lead. Watch this, dude. What do you think we're doing? I'm not over here baking a casserole, Sky. I'm watching the movie. She's going to do some crazy stuff right here. Come on. What the hell are you talking about? Proud of my girl. Watch her. This is not a feminist meeting. It's Lord of the Rings. Do you understand? A little of both. No. No. Check it out, dude. Hardly. Look at her. Oh. Here we go. I bet if Ashley were in here, she'd get up and go pee right now. Oh, yeah, she'd definitely have to take a piss. Right now. Right at Raging Waters this summer. Why didn't she just do that from the beginning? That's a good question, huh? Stupid. No, you failed. He died. No, he did not. All right, movie's over, everybody. Thanks for coming in. Oh, stop it. Stop it. Sorry to end on a downer. Hey. But, you know, what are you going to do? My girl's going to make it happen. You don't worry. Frodo's dead. Movie's over. He's not. Let's watch.
Crying. I don't know. I guess I can. I'm so sad. Rob, can you do a little If This Is It? If This Is It? Okay. No, no. It was a joke. Please let me know. Hey. We're good. Just kidding. Yeah, we got it. We got it. It's a pivotal moment. I don't want to see Frodo. Go. Mr. Anderson. Oh, hilarious. Oh. We're on Hubbard. Wow. That's awkward. I think his place would be nicer than that. Yeah. At least his PJs. The house Dianetics built. What if he woke up in the middle of the night and saw that chick standing over your bed? That freaked me out. That chick right there with the beard? That's awesome.
Rob just got that. Yeah. Rob's on seven-second delay. You idiot. I'm sorry. You're just coming down, bro. It's all good. No. It's not likely thrown aside. Elderly abuse. It's over. Embrace the power of time. There is only one. Later. Jumper. I love that move. Yeah? You want to do that in one of your movies for your own? Yeah, it's like one of my signature moves. It's called The Jump. Nice. If you look closely, you can see the people from Alive. What is it? I farted. Hey. SBD. Oh.
They gave you mascara, too. I'm so hopped up on morphine out right now, bro. Whoa. That's a huge forehead. Nice braids, dude. Mr. Anderson. I'm not kidding. I'd move there tomorrow. I'm in. I mean, Brent's, you know, decent. Shotgun side, Cliff. It goes for about 5.5 mil. Yeah. Conservatively. My uncle who I forget his name. Nice shawl. Yeah. It's like one of the elder Bee Gees. See, that's a shawl, not a poncho. Shut up. That's the difference, dude. A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins. Yeah, how original. Yeah, they were back again. Great name. Jeez. How about a story written by a hobbit? Is it like town?
See the Lonely Mountain again? You got old. What's he shopping? Hobbit Gap? He shops at the Short and Squatty. L.L. Bean in the Shire? I spent all my childhood pretending I was my son. You're still a child. Off with you on one of your adventures. Remember when you went to Fresno? It was Lodi. I'm not like you. Right, I'm straight. Frodo. Uh-oh. Hello. Oh, yeah. This is the extended edition. I don't want to be unprepared. I thought you wanted to see the old salmon. I do. More than anything. I think they overhemmed your pants there, Sam.
Nice high waters. Yeah. Expecting a flood in Rivendell? Well, it is Rivendell. It's not Floodndell? It looks like your outfit when you went to school, Mikey. That's enough. Remember you said your mom made you wear high waters. That's enough. What we set out to do, we'll be safe in Rivendell. I'm ready to go home. Let's make out. And one day you will play for Notre Dame. The Hobbit has shown extraordinary resilience towards evil. It is a burden he should never have had to bear. We can ask no more. We can ask. The enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are massing in the east. His eye is fixed on Rivendell. And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin.
Kind of like your hairline. What about the Keebler elves? Yeah, what about those guys? They're busy making cookies, dude. Somebody write them. Cannot stay here. I'm not just the Elven Hair Club president. Everyone rides in slow motion. The in thing. Uh-oh, there he is. Look at those ears, dude. They're so erect. Seriously. Who do you look to when we've gone? The dwarves? They're short.
But fun to point at and laugh. Not very quick, though. The race of men is failing. I'll say. Blood of Numenor is all but spent. It's pride and dignity forgotten. I take offense to that. Oh, no. Here we go. I'm the leader of all men. Well, not in Middle Earth, dude. Like hell. Hey, you are not involved in Middle Earth. You may be in the Middle East, but you stay out of Middle Earth. Same thing. Well, no. I'll just bomb this place, too. Oh, no. Not a good idea. Strength. A bunch of tail heads. These people are... No! They're like elves and hobbits and stuff. I'm gonna bomb Mordor Stan. Well, no. It's Mordor. Afghan-a-door. No. Is that Stephen Wright thinking about throwing it into the fire? Yes. Into the fire.
Should have ended that day. Sildur Kett. Okay, yeah, we get it. Your pronunciation's perfect. Sildur. Perfect dignity. Rodman. Oh, just catching up on your Shakespeare? Yeah. Seriously. There's a Playboy in there. Don't touch it. Chicken soup for the elven soul. How to save Middle Earth for dummies. Well, yeah, it's a knife, dildo. I'm more than a broken head. Look out, bro. It's a knife. Not cool, man. Coming to someone else's house. It's a sword. There's a broad behind you, dude. She's a lady. Thank you very much.
If you just turn around right now, there's a... Whoa! I told you. Holy crap. You are Isildur's hair. Oh. Not Isildur himself. Did you say Isildur's hair? Oh, not bad. The same blood flows in my veins. Howardly blood? Is that what you're trying to say? Your time will come. That's right. Weird. I'm sorry, what? I don't... I don't speak Chinese, lady. Yeah. Oh, tell them. Yeah. I don't know what that is, Latin, Greek, Mexican, Spanish, but... Hey, Mel Gibson, thanks for the subtitles. If I start crying right now, you guys won't think any less of me, right? Dude, come on. Knock it off. Oh, go for it, dude. Support you. Okay, not if you're going to cry like that. Too much snot. Ew! Um, that's plastic. Want to buy one of those?
Best city. You are the best. You are the best. You are the best. What? I thought it was sweet. It was. It's beautiful. He's kidding, you guys. No, I'm not. Didn't he get it delivered to the station? Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. The plastic costume jewelry lady. Be sure and hawk this. Like, not. Aw, that's pretty. Strangers from distant lands. Yeah, here. Here to answer the threat of Mordor. Right, we get the whole diction thing, okay? Mordor. Night. San Diego City Council. Donna Fry's the dude. I'm still. Bring forth the ring.
This project doesn't look happy. You want this little thing? Well, he moves to slow motion, Skye. Oh, that's right. That's all. Anybody blow me a smoke? You're overdramatic. I didn't call on you. Hey, speak out of turn, guys. Yeah, hello. There's a lot of people here that didn't just stand up and start speaking. Like Orlando Bloom? Yeah. If anything, the cute people should go first. Anyway, Orlando? I remember you from Crimson Tide. Neither of these guys are talking about. You should put a Burger King in. They're delicious. That's right. That's what he's talking about.
And Gondor has a Wendy's, a Jack in the Box. Got all of them. Let's get a Burger King in there. We have only one choice. Wendy's, they were the first to have Arby's. Well, it's delicious. Misty Montana's. Delicious. That Alvin horsey sauce. Ah, you idiot. Migraine. Not the good acts. Oh, man. You cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of glory, by any crown. Gimli, son of bitch. That's the tiara talking. One of you. Is that right, prettiest princess? One does not simply walk into Mordor. Black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there. You have a flair for the dramatic. Sounds like alcohol. Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?
The ring must be destroyed. Do you even have pubes? Sit down. What? A man that is smooth, take your seat. Oh, nice spit. Can't he pick that out? Trying to get him to fight. You're not getting out long. Funny if you're just stuck in this mouth and swallowed it. Michael J. Fox is trying to say something. I will take the ring to Moldo. With who, Mallory? Yeah. Great. Tina Yeather is going to show you the way. Just ask Meredith Baxter. Bernie, I'm sure she'd be happy to take it back. Why don't you get skippy, eh? That's a little personal. I don't swing that way. You just broke it, a-hole. Talking about my deodorant. Tell you what, I won't...
call you big guy. You don't call me little one. His little turdling friend. Oh, look, the dookie twins. What the hell's going on? I don't know. The Irish showed up. Weren't they wiped out by a potato? How are they going to help? You know there's going to be a fight. Do they have any say on what the name of the fellowship is? What are we talking about? I'm in a fight like a man. I'll box your ears. It's cabbage day. It's so light.
Yeah, made by the elves. Gobos turned into Bea Arthur. That's awesome. Suddenly this is an episode of the Golden Girls. Yeah. Oh, oh, I've seen this one. This is where the one... You're going to wear that while you fight, too? Give me this nice little nightgown. Gives you an envelope opener. Try it on. See if it fits over your bra. Yeah. What, he's got a third nipple? Yes, Rob. That is scary. Hey, hey, hey. Eat that kind of movie. Yeah, come on. Look out. Love it. I'm so ashamed. I've been here before. That move right there was called the Whitney Houston. Aw, brutal. I'm sorry. You must carry this bird. Anybody here remember Sean?
Who's that? Which one was he in the movie? I haven't pooped in a week. A week? Yes. True juice isn't working. I would throw a massive party there. Check it out. It's the original boy band. Nice. I miss Ashley. What is she doing? She's doing behind-the-scenes work. Is that her sleeping? I don't know. I go do some behind-the-scenes work. Yeah, me too. I'm in on that. Put up my finger quotes. Behind-the-scenes work. Is that what Sean's doing? I don't know what Sean is doing. We're a good chunk through this movie, aren't we? Yeah. Want me to start it from the beginning? We're going to have to legal ID pretty soon, right? Sisney will tell us. Yeah, she's on it, dude. All right.
If our luck holds, the gap of ruin will still be open to us. Damn, that looks good. Oh, delicious. Yeah, right next to his hairy feet. Yeah. Sweet chorizo. A bunch of turds on a piece of wood. Looks great. Thanks. You know, Mikey, the refugees from the hurricane, they would like something like that, okay? So, you know, beggars can't be choosers. I see what you're saying. They're not refugees. The long way round. Good luck. We could pass through the mines of Gloria. Yeah, okay, and you could wash your hair. Conditioner, look into it, buddy. How about a VO5 hot oil treatment for you, Gimli? Amen, sister. Let's see, if I stand up here on the top of this rock, I'm hotter. Oh, oh, oh, in the shin. Oh, oh, oh, we got you. Oh, it's so funny. Those Irish, they're always drunk. I love those guys. The McKinley brothers. Looks like Mike Tyson let the coop loose again. Penis rock. Everything's so phallic in this movie. It's all about that. Ladies and gentlemen, the Atlanta Falcons. Come on, Mexico.
You must take the path of tenetress. A what? I'm sorry. The path of what? I don't have any shoes on. Take a what? The path of Cher's puss. Wait a minute. That's awful. Dude. I know she's old, but I mean. Hey. Clumsy. Those Irish. They're always drunk. The whole movie. The whole movie. Oh, no. Oh, this is when it goes awry. Things go a little south here. Are you going to narrate the entire movie, Sky? I mean, we can see. We have two eyes. I get excited when things happen. See? You're listening to the 28-hour show right now if you're just tuning in. We're watching Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Rings. Is that what this is? That's right. I don't know. What did you think? I thought it was home movies. Oh. You thought this was someone's family we were watching? Well, Boston Rob's. That's my uncle Cleophas. Who? My uncle Aragorn. Aragorn. He's Irish. He's always drunk. Oh. Bite. Oh, so demeaning. Nice hubcap. I'd totally slide down that mountain on that thing. It's not a saucer, Rob. It could be, though.
Thank you every year. Last year, the Death Star. You're so stupid. Just wait till next year, dude. Hopefully not. There's a pink pot. Forget it. Oh, yeah. Dig with that stick, dude. All right. That's going to help you through. Hey. Just sounded dirty. Oh, you dirty. You dirty. Oh, he's carrying the babies. They're not babies. Oh, they're not. There's a foul voice on the air. Foul voice on the air. Bummer. You know, Gandalf, your hat weighs 55 pounds. If you just left that behind, you guys would move faster. You would have been there already. And how is that hat not blowing off? That's a good question. Bobby pins. Oh. Yep.
You know, where's the door up to the roof? Where's the elevator? Interesting point. And there's no golf ball in that thing. Duck. Foul voice again. Well, normally a foul voice is Sean, but he's not here. No. It's no cone. Don't eat the yellow kind. I just wrote my name. Where Ozzy got the inspiration for the song. You're such a homer. No kidding. Yeah, we get it. You're from there. It's not that cool. We're going to hang out with your uncles and your aunts and all that. You ever see that Shaq movie, Kazadum? No. Oh.
There are. The ring bearer. Wasn't the rock just in the movie Cause of Doom? Ah, yes. Damn it. Oh. Frodo said it. Submit. Place is badass. A coal mine. Things for briquettes there. Oh, there it is. It has its own singers. Doom. Those sensor lights. It's pretty sweet. Doors of duty. Law. Duty? The walls of duty. And enter. What do you suppose that is? I'm drunk. Is that Yugoslavian? The password is Vladi Divac. Go for it. The show 28-hour marathon is brought to you by KSWB channel 569. Tune in Thursday night for Smallville at 8 o'clock. The official home of the Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is...
I-O-Z San Diego's Rock. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 12 a.m. and 1 a.m. Hey, everybody, Drew Brees here. Shut up. It is officially midnight. Holy crap. Shut up. Which means that we officially have 10 hours to go. Who's beeping? 10 hours? That's right. Isn't that impossible? Well, I'll tell you this, Eddie. We get through the next five hours and we're pretty much, uh... We're pretty much home free. And those last five hours should sail. If we can make it there. Can we call it the 20-hour show? Great call. Can we call it the 19-hour show? Yeah. Yeah, we proved our point. Yeah, I mean, didn't we kind of get across what we're trying to get across? I think people get it. Yeah. They would understand. Yeah.
Ah, the clapper. The energizer staff. Sean would not be staying there. Kidding. Sean's not staying here. It's DiGiorno. Yes. Sure. Can I go poop? Hey. I just did. Ew. Oh, what just happened? What's going on? Oh, that can't be good. Another big phallic thing. Grabbing Frodo. Love, Killamore. Arrow's going to stop that thing. No, why not? Just get your slingshot out, huh? Now you guys are really screwed. Yeah. Oh, what are you going to do? Make out? Guess we've got to go to Home Depot. You must face the long, dark, Moria. Be on your guard. Farer things than orcs in the deep.
Like Joan Rivers. Right? Aww. Those glow sticks would come in handy right about now, huh? Days? It's like going to El Paso. Jesus. Should have called Southwest. Yeah, I don't care. Polly Colonels. He's falling asleep. Idiots. Falling asleep. Busting out to sleep. What? One. He's trying to get some rest. What's up with these youngins all falling out? Seriously, man. Aren't they supposed to be the party ones? Don't they, like, do this every weekend? I know it, man. Come on. I'm normally in bed by eight. Whatever you guys do, don't think about your comfortable beds right now. You a-hole. You're a dick, man. That's the worst thing you could have ever done. I'm telling you. Oh, man. Oh, what's over here? Yeah, how about it, dude? I just had Kit Kat and... Uh-oh. Oh. My Aunt Carmen. Stop with that.
Is Rob talking to anybody in particular? She's talking to my wife. Honey, what's he saying here? He was asking what these were. I told him they were brownies, and then he can't decide whether he wants that or donuts or nothing. Who brought brownies? I did. I have no idea. Help yourself. Look out. Like, I don't know. We found those in the parking lot. What did House of Blues bring? Oh. They brought some big thing. Break out the pacifiers and the glow sticks. Oh, yeah. They're going to be there for four days. Might as well. Yeah. You know, one night. We're going to have a party here in the Mines Memorial like they've never had before. Chiffon everywhere and beer. Drops me. Little axe, yeah. That'd be awesome. Just touch me, Gandalf. Ew. I'm on axe. What? Ew, ew, ew. Just touch me. Ew. Grab my arm, please. I have to throw up. Hold my hair back. But the air doesn't smell so foul down here. Air doesn't smell so what down here? Foul. Like the clear channel bathrooms, that's for sure.
I'm about to go do that in a minute. Can you wake Sean up when you do? I don't know. Is he sleeping? I think so. I don't know. I think maybe in your office, but I saw Bobby Colonel sleeping. Nice. Where was Bobby Colonel sleeping? In the production studio with Ashley. Ashley is sleeping too? Ashley's awake. Where do you think Sean is? I think he's in your office. Why do you think that? Because I was just walking back to the bathroom way back there, and he wasn't anywhere back there. So unless he's outside, then he must be in your office. The party gets going. No. Oh, man, these guys are so wasted. It's like a seven-year-old right there. That's a big deal. He's dead, Eddie. Those are his boys. They have short lifespans anyways, those guys. That's true.
He was only supposed to live about 20 minutes longer. It's all an illusion. I'm in a glass box of emotion. Far side. Sidewalk ends. I've read this already. This is a good one. You guys, come here. Dear God, it's me, Margaret. One thing. Boy blunders bowling. And then what? Oh, you dumb turd. Dummykins. Hammered. Don't worry about it. Sure will be fine now that you've done that. You've only disturbed every creepy crawly.
Dungeness thing in here. He's Irish. What do you expect? He's always drunk, right, Boston Rum? You know it. He's going to get a spanking. Oh, we're good. Oh, man. Guess nothing happened. Anyway. Throw yourself in next time. Rid us of your stupidity. Hey. That's going a little far. You know what? Fine. Maybe I will. Fine. Really? I'm going to call CPS. Oh, you are sick. Stupid hobbit. Oh, now it's glowing. Great. Uh-huh. You know what that means? Yeah, it means Mork is close. Wait. It's different. So that thing glows when Robin Williams gets close? That's right. Is that the deal? Oh, Mr. Happy. Did you like that one, Eddie? Oh, Mr. Happy. Not really. I'm just being honest. Wow. Look at those little guys.
You have to laugh every time. What a motley crew. Have you ever seen this, Rob? Yeah. Okay. Which is funny. So serious. We'll kill them with our letter openers. What's over? You got a little something in your eye, dude. Yeah, right here. I just want to... Maybe a little visine. It's a great battle scene. Letter opener! Get him. Do you guys have any envelope? No. Ew, it's my Aunt Carmen. Hey. That's the last one. Now the badass is here. Ouch, bitch. Must take huge dumps. Two at a time, eh? Great battle scene. That's the same whip that Sky uses on Ramsey. That's right. Enough. Not doing that. Well, here it is.
Oh, that hurts. Right in the noggin, dude. I think I'm getting the hang of this. Really? After 90 of them? Like me with no makeup. That thing is ugly. Smells them, though. Needs a wig. A wig? Yeah, you know. Like, what kind of wig are we talking? Mullet wig. Anything. That'd be sweet. A mullet wig. Yeah. Maybe a little trucker hat. Okay. Sunglasses, I don't know. Make him look cool when he's fighting. All right. Hey, your boyfriend's here. Thank God. That's right. Save the day. Your boyfriend's unconscious. Oh, no. Oh, here comes the trig. That didn't work. Does that thing remind you of the guy from Goonies? Yeah, a little bit. Reminds me of an English teacher I had. Baby Ruth. Oh, now you made him mad. No.
Now the two midgets will kill you. Frodo. Frodo. Oh, save that tape. Hardest level to get past in the video game. Took me forever. Oh, that hurts. That hurts, yeah. That'll do it. Right in the neck, yeah. Just a pain in the neck. Now he turns into Kirk Douglas. Dude. Rude. And he talks better. Great fellowship. Thanks. Thanks for sticking together, dicks. Oscar. He's alive. We're on our test. Good thing I'm not a wild boar. Good thing I'm wearing this blouse. So pretty. You have to rub your nipples like that? Look, everybody, glitter. Bye, Rob. He's out. Oh, you're right. Have a good one. Have a good one.
I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. It's like me getting through a mall, all my fans. Oh, give me a break. Okay. All your fans from your renegade days. Oh, please. Let's not even go there. Give me a break. Geez, I ain't going anywhere in this town. Yeah, I'm sure. Sign this, sign that. Okay. It's my Aunt Carmen. I said that. Come on. Oh, God. No more. Thank you. Oh. This is like Skye showing up at one of my appearances. See you, everybody. Thank you. So rude. All my fans go. Yeah. Oh, that's so hilarious. It's so funny, Eddie. It's like I forgot to laugh. Seriously. If we all just stay real quiet.
Maybe it won't see us. That's right, Gandalf. Think it to death. That's your game plan? Good one. Glad we bought Gandalf. Glad we took time to think of that. Thanks, old guy. Wizard with a plan. Run. Forrest could have come up with that one. I got a good one. Should we scream, too? New plan. Panic! Hey, everybody. Freak out. Oh, oh, Gandalf. Yeah, what's your next plan? The preacher's near. All right, everyone, be extremely tense. You're going to get hit. Thanks for breaking it. Yeah, great job. Jackass. Oh, nice shot. Oh, clever reference. Keep going, keep going. That's real smart, you guys. Save Frodo till last. He's only the most important. Mm-hmm.
He's only the guy that your entire future's banked on. Seriously. Now they're way screwed. Let's see this thing. Come on. It's a really bad day. Clear Channel got rid of almost everybody in programming last year. That was a good day. That was pretty crazy. Get it out, dude. It's real. That's real. That really happened, Mike. Yep, they filmed it on location. No doubt. In Moria. It's going to cost the taxpayers a pretty penny. Don't worry, Halliburton will take care of it. All right, Aunt Carmen. We all got to have our Aunt Carmen, Mikey. Oh, that's scary. Ladies and gentlemen, a sheep? Aries is attacking. Isn't it Taurus? Another fragile bridge. How many of these are there? Seriously. It's a very brittle place.
Picked his joint. And was it union or non-union workers? Who are you to say who passes and who doesn't? Yeah. Gandalf. Elitist. He's calling the flamer. I think so. That's why he's so pissed. Ares don't take that crap, dude. No wonder he's not letting him in. Don't say it. By the shadow, he means alcohol. Sky, that's your whip. We all know it. Shut up. You got the whip. You got a better bomb. Who's that that Rob just showed up with? A girl. Are you kidding me? Rob just bring a girl in here? Oh, my God. You are unreal. Well, I'm always working something out. Oh, no. I've always got something going on. Something in the hopper. In the wakes.
What did he say? Fly or run? Fly. Fly, you fools. Aw. It's okay, Frodo. It's not your fault. That was Southwest's moniker for a while. It was. Fly, you fools. Is this Ace of Base in the background? Don't turn around. Okay. You're now free to move about the brittle cave. Bing. How about these singers? How much they get paid? This one again. We got it. Yeah, we're good, dude. No, I mean, we're okay. Seriously. Hey, we're good. I like it. All right, all right. But he's very... Tear jerker. Yeah, shook up, dude. Look at that guy. He's hammered. He's lost their boy. And he's crying in slow motion. He's pissed they ran out of scotch. Why? Get them out.
this bastard. Hey, he's trying to save them all. They just ran out of liquor. People see Orlando Bloom in airports and still say that to him. You get him up. Do you do anything around here, dude? Why don't you get him up? Hey, you're in charge. Frodo, suicidal dude. Frodo. Hey, it's not worth it, man. You curly-haired geek. Frodo, you got a little dirt right here. Rob, is that a hickey? Rob, you would know. Is that a hickey? Yeah. Hey, girl, let's just shut up with Rob. Let me check your neck. I'll compare. Oh, my. Welcome to Hickey Mountain. I'll be your guide. Legolas. Watch out for raptors. Smart. I get you from the side, Rob. Yeah, I know. I seen. Just letting you know, bro. Can't see if you don't move.
Sorry, what? You guys slurring all over the place. Apparently they didn't run out of scotch. Try walking a straight line there, Gimli. Sean, how much to stick his whole nose in? He's not here. At least somebody got back into the shrooms. All right. How much for the acid, Frodo? Flashback. I'm sorry, Frodo. How much? You always have to have such gay looks about everything. Are you only saying that because there's arrows pointed at your eyeballs? Is that Owen Wilson? Let's go see her.
Singers got paid, guys. Here, let me try it out myself. American Idol. Yeah, that's great. You're the best. We suck. We get it. How much you want to bet this guy's taking him to a drag review? Is this a scene from Star Wars? That's the Matrix. All the babies are made. Welcome to the Keebler City. We elves pride ourselves on our lights. And cookies. This is what it looks like when you go into that Mormon temple right there. That's right. I'm the five. I've always wondered. I've always wondered. I'm serious. I'm serious. Now my wife says Smurfs live in there. What? Aren't you Catherine Hepburn? Tell me where is Gandalf? What I much desire. Kevin Spacey? What the hell? What are you doing here? Loves your work in American Beauty. Shut up. On the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it'll fade.
Yeah, way to speak. Talking about butter and knife and I don't know what the hell. Just tell us what we need to do. Listen, I'm as hungry as the next guy, lady. We've been living off his scotch. Need something to soak up all this booze. You're me. What are you looking at? Over here. Hey! Nice skirt. That's the guy I want protecting me. That's a skort. He's wearing a skort. What do they say about him? That he wears skorts. Anyone seen my crimping iron? These borders are well protected. We got the Minutemen on it.
I heard a voice inside my father on the floor of Gondor. She said to me, even now there is hope left. Feathers your hair. The most boring character in the Fellowship. Quit your crying, bro. I don't get it. Do you even believe your own BS? Have you ever heard of this place called the Prancing Pony? Statues of yourself. statues of yourself. I need to put in my diaphragm. Hang on one second. Here it is. Where are my contacts? To video. Even the wisest cannot tell. But a mirror shows many things. This must be like the Olive Garden never-ending soup and salad right here, buddy. Dig in. What about the breadsticks? They're coming. Relax. The best part, man. I'm just saying. That have not yet come to part.
I don't want to look at it, lady. You're weird. I'm out of here. You're like real weird and stuff. The basket or it gets the hose. Oh, God. You know what paint is, lady. Oh, it's like a crystal ball. There's my friend right there and there's my other friend right there. And if I keep looking here in the water, oh, look, it's the place I used to live. It's so beautiful. And there's people I used to know. And oh, I'm happy at first. What do you think now? Comedy of the year. Oh, goodness. Watch out. My wife and I used to argue about this because I thought she was evil, you know? Who, the lady in white? Yeah, the lady in white. I thought she was kind of evil. It's not evil. I know, but she did that thing where she showed him what she could be if she had the ring. Yeah. So I thought she was evil. Nah, Gandalf said the same stuff, dude. Said he couldn't take the ring. It is what will come to pass. Yeah, I know, but then she really got all greedy about her scenario. Well, she wanted some time.
Her scenario is very greedy, is what I'm saying. She wants some screen time. Leave her alone. It's called the Oscar clip. That's right, dude. You know of whom I speak. Can you just move your mouth when you do that? It's creeping me out already. I mean, they're the only ones there. Guys, she's a ventriloquist, okay? Hi, everybody. She's busting out. Watch, she'll drink water in a second. Surprise with that shake? yourself into a cartoon? That's what you do with the ring? Multiple orgasm right there. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I never knew what this meant either. Okay, Galatria, go for it. Hey, Battlestar Galactica, whatever. I heard you. This task was appointed to you. And if you do not find a way... I made a harp on this, but can I...
Borrow your crumping iron. It's Justin. Care enough about it, okay? They were elves. Hey, you guys, you know who that looks like? Taken by the dark powers. Cultured and mutated. My Aunt Carmen. You're an idiot. Oh, you're an ass. Ladies and gentlemen, Glenn Danzig. Yes, is he going to perform? Perform. Mother. Saruma! Going to a Chiefs game? Hey, take it easy. No screaming at the dinner table. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You do not know pain, lady. We stand for it. I could rape it for a person. Bring them to me alive and unspoiled. Case of Pepsi One. Kill the others. Hey, did you know that there's a golf ball in the... Oh, never mind.
What do you guys think of the singers in the background? Dude. Hey. Hey. Hey, guy. He tricks you. Oh, that'll come in handy, Frodo. Hold on to that. That's right, Eddie. When the spigoty comes, huh? The what? The spigoty spider. The spigoty? Nobody knows what you're talking about. The spigoty? You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't, actually. The spigoty. Pretend, huh? Now the time to go white rotter rafting, I mean, it's just... They've had a long trip, you know. If you're in Maine, you gotta do it. Maine. Vermont, thank you. They're in Middle Earth, you guys. You obviously haven't been to Vermont, huh? Looks just like New Hampshire. Orc Jordans. The orcs get shoes. Nobody else does. Here's the cavity fighters.
Imagine the turds on those guys. I think they go while they're running. Can you imagine orc gas? Oh, look who decided to wake up. Yeah, Bobby Colonels woke up. F you. Yeah, tell him, Eddie. I'll have hair like the lead singer of Living Color. Rob, is that what you hope your hair would look like someday? One day. I want to be an orc. If I'm lucky. I'm an orc. Well, he's putting all the crap through his face. Yeah. If he's there, look that way. Those things from NeverEnding Story. I can't. Yep. Tell us something. I can't figure it out. I think it's Heil Hitler. Racist. Subtle. Maybe high five? I don't. Well, let's just go through. Yeah, let's just check it out. In case an athlete's foot right there. Talk up in ten acting.
That's pretty real looking. Come aboard, it's love. Exciting and new. We wouldn't either. Thank you. Homie's freaking out, dude. Always looks on the verge of tears. He's like jonesing for it, man. Sucked to have to ride with the hobbits. They don't row, nothing. Who says they don't row? They didn't just sit there. They're lazy people. Well, traditionally, Rob. I bet they rode. You're standing up for the hobbits now? I mean, is there no end to this? I bet they pull their share. My God. Every race, even fake ones? Yeah. Tolkien just rolled over in his grave. Nah. He just screamed out from the grave, they're called blacks, it's okay. Stupid. Wait for cover of Donald.
I'd like to put eight or nine more braids in before the night's over. I love those braids. Is that Jar Jar Pinks right there? Hmm, female intuition. All right. No, no, it's not my turn to watch him. He's only the most important guy. How many times do we have to tell you this? You might assign somebody to watch him. Well, that's the reason they're on the journey. Put the freaking leash on him again. Somebody leave the side door open. Frodo got out. Great. None of us should wander alone. Oh, no. You least of all. So much depends on you. See? Dad, can I borrow the Volvo? I see it. I really love your flowery blouse. Are you sure you do not suffer need of sleep? There are other ways, Frodo. It's got to be hot in that thing. I know what you would say. It would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart. No.
Warning? Against what? His heart's been broken before. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see that is madness? There is no other way. I ask only for this to defend my people. Oh, no. It's like an abusive wife. You are not yourself. Can't act out like that. What chance do you think you have? We'll take the ring. scare tactics he'll say sorry later sky but don't take him back yeah you hear this crap he's saying right now oh you're nothing without me you can't make it see you run girl you don't need him you're better off without him see look at this
Yes, as usual. Start throwing stuff around, Ashley. Okay, thanks. We're doing a thing here. We're kind of on the air, Ashley. I mean, it's this new thing we started. I know you haven't had attention in the past two hours. We're doing this little thing. We started it like 22 hours ago or something. And she's out. Great. What the hell was that? I don't know. She could have at least stayed and talked. Talk with us. Silly girl. Yeah, I got distracted. Don't say it, Eddie. Oh, it's a giant vagina. No, it's not. Look at that thing. Actually, it is. It's the eye of something. And it's on the rag. Hey, dude. Vomit. Come on. Instead of the ring, they should have made a tampon. Throw that in there. Shove it in real good, Rob. Where is the ring from? God, you're gross.
What did I do? Let's move on. We've all learned our red wings here. Ain't that the truth? Okay. This is not cool. Oh, yeah. Movie's on. There's a movie on? What are you guys talking about? Super Proto, dude. Is this the part with the Ewoks? Some different guy. I'm going to propose again. This is awkward. Say yes the first time, dude. Jeez. Come on. Take the hint, bro. Really? Forget it. You're gay. He's fat. How cool. Got a boner. Hey. Oh, no problem. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's on. Of course. Again, a different movie. Different movie, yeah. What?
They're different. No, watch. Ewoks come in. They do. Different. He's right. No, he's not right. Watch. No, I'm watching. Does that guy ever run out of arrows? Good question, Rob. Like this whole movie. Arrow, arrow, arrow. See, he just recycled one. I'm sure that guy got stabbed in the face. What kind of hiding spot is that? But he did save $150 on car insurance by switching to Geico. Well, good, yeah. Come on. Those guys are hammered. Still? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They were drinking behind that tree. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They went back there to take a piss and then... Don't do it, you drunk. Uh-oh. Fine, I'm coming with you. Oh, now we're caught. You're supposed to be the designated driver. Hey! Hey, you! Over here!
Can you give us a ride? Ah, the old deflection bit, huh? That was the whiskey talking. Only a stupid orc would fall for that. That's a good move, right in the neck. Ah, the old right in the neck move. The classic. The old standby. Where's the Ewoks? Folks, we are watching... The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring. When this one's over, we will begin Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Hey, listen, in all honesty, I got to make a chocolate factory before we start that movie. Not necessarily. I'm not kidding. I've been holding this entire movie. Hey, we don't need to know. Yeah, I am serious. You guys smell it? Shut up. I feel like it's coming out of my pores. Oh, man. Touching cloth, huh? Yep.
Disgusting. Here come the Ewoks. Sweet. I heard them. Oh, no, that was the horn of Gondor. Did you just say, let's meet at the condo? No. Well, it's gay-friendly. Hey, that thing's broke, dude. You need a new read. He's calling everybody for the old Vikings cruise. Come on, Dante Culpepper. Oh, goodness. Uh-oh. This isn't going to hurt a little bit. Yeah. You're going to feel just a little pinch. Oh, something, something. You're going to feel just a little pinch. Whoa. Did you feel that little pinch there? Put some dirt on it. Let's go. Yeah. Just spit on it. Come on, shake it off. Put some mud on it. Jumping jacks, bro. Come on. Do some jumping jacks. That'll help. Make you forget the pain. Do one more. I don't want to do it. Well, what I was up to. That's right in the ginger snap. This guy's such a baby, man. Kevin Costner and Robin Hood is better than him. Seriously.
Do me a favor. That's fine. You gave me two. I'm okay with that. Just as long as you do me a favor. There you go. Don't give me three. Keep fighting. How bad are these other orcs that can't beat this guy with two arrows in them? You know, it's like, come on. Didn't they train nothing? That's got to do it right there, buddy. I asked if you could do me a favor and, you know, the two were good. Once. You don't mind. Twice. Those guys are so drunk. And a letter opener. To the paddy wagon with you. Yeah, drunks. And we'll see you later. We'll be leaving you there on your knees. Have a good one. Have a good one. Have a good one. Please, I said not another one. Cat dragged in. That would hurt.
Ow, yeah, that hurts, yeah. Torn ACL, he's done for the year. Great, I just picked him up in my fantasy league. Your fantasy orc league? Mm-hmm. Bad move, bro. It's just a flesh wound. Yeah. Yep, that'll do it. Till one grows back. Guy needs a little head. They took the little ones. That's what I heard. Where is Frodo? What am I, his keeper? He did what I could not. This is going to get real awkward here in a couple minutes. Do me a favor. It's just when we do this, don't open your mouth. Look at him. Put your pants on. I'm sure I'll believe you. That code word for the clan.
White City. I really like those cute little leaf things. Didn't you buy one? Seriously, didn't you go on the internet and buy one of those? To keep your elven cloak together? It's real funny, guys. Didn't you? Yeah, I did. Awful. My captain. My captain, my captain. Make out! Do it, do it! You guys are trying to pick up with everyone. Who's got the boner? Necro. Let's do it. 28-hour marathon is brought to you by KSWB channel 569. Tune in Thursday night for Smallville at 8 o'clock. The Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is KIOZ San Diego's Rock. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 1 a.m.
Can you believe how long we've been on the radio? This is stupid. I wish the ring had never come to me. What are we doing right now? In five hours, we will have been on the radio for 24 hours, which means that we've been on the radio for 19 hours at this point. Oh, man. 19 hours? Yeah. What the? He's not. He's got hay fever. Oh. I heard he's good for that. Allergies that time of year in Middle Earth. Yeah, they're really bad. You've got to take shots, the whole thing. Yeah. Before you take the plane. It's ridiculous. But it's worth it to feed the hobbits and pet them and stuff. Well, they have my little hobbit petting zoo. It's pretty cool.
You put the 25 cents in the little corn thing, and you turn it, and the corn comes out, and you just don't run right up to you. You have to hold your fingers down, though, because they'll bite right into your fingers. Oh, that happened to me once. You've got to go get a bunch of shots. Some of them have rabies. Hobbits. They're so cute. They can't swim, though. They're drunk, Rob. Stay out of the water, you little hobbit. Somebody get the net. Oh, no. Now, what's the deal? You can't feed them after midnight. Yeah, you can't get them wet. And they've got to avoid sunlight. Those are gremlins. That's the hobbits. When you first bring them home, they've got to do it in the litter box. You've got to show them where it is, too. Don't declaw them if they're going to be outdoor hobbits. Right. Only if they're just indoor hobbits. They can't protect themselves if they're outdoor hobbits. You need to declaw them. Why isn't he trying to swim? This is weird. Hobbits can't swim.
You can do a mean power walk, though. I was just going to say, I'll tell you what hobbits can do. They can moonwalk. That is true. Even with 19-foot-long feet. I promise. You don't believe him, Samwise Gamgee. Aww. And I don't mean to. I don't mean to. Hey, how much can you cry, Frodo? It's a emotional day. I feel like I'm watching Lifetime over here. I'm not kidding. Where's Valerie Bertinelli? She's the one that got her head chopped off. Easily you could have ended the story here. I mean, sure, they didn't take the thing back to Mordor, but it's all happy. I think you just looted that. I'm not real. I was okay. I like the other two hobbits better. Yeah. Let's go save them. This guy's got pea seed. That's all.
That guy's still alive. Still slurring, too. His flask isn't empty. Nice ponytail. Red. Binge hobbits, soaring words. That's a grisly beard if I've ever seen one. You know he's been through some stuff. What does that mean? What? He's been through some stuff. You know, he's a weathered individual. Weathered? Yeah. Yes, kind sir. That is handsome. I love when they get excited. They're stoked. Hopping around. Oh, yeah. Parades are flying. No more chocolate for him. He's hyper. He's never going to get to bed now. Oh, no. Leave it on an up note, guys. Leave it on an up note. Cannonball! Rent the third movie. Yeah, exactly. We've got two movies left. Jeez.
Figure it out, dope. I'm glad you're with me. For the six. Nice pull my finger. I wonder what will happen to those two. They almost died. Rent the third one. Well, stop that. That was really beautiful. They saved Middle Earth great. There you go. I ruined it for everybody. All right, here's what we're going to do. Let's go back in the studio, take a couple of calls, kind of regather our thoughts. I got to make a Snickers. Okay. Disgusting. Eddie's got to make a Snickers. All right, I'm coming back into the studio. Okay, you do that. Thanks, sir. Just leave that audio up of the movie.