Mikeython - 2010 - Part 8

0:00So, stuff, you're gonna hear some of the, some of our best work, some of the stuff that we've done in the past, and, uh, and then we'll come back, and, uh, I will be facing it. That's Billy Joel. Jay's picking the music. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. Uh, tonight, LaToya Jackson. That's all you have to say. Tonight on the Animal Planet, she got a special coming out called Michael Jackson and Bubbles, the Untold Story. Oh, my God. In case you are just waking up from a 14-year coma, Bubbles was Michael Jackson's monkey. Chimpanzee. Yeah. Companion. Little Bubbs. Here's a clip. I'm really looking forward to seeing Bubbles more than anything else. How strange is it that her and Michael and...

1:29Janet have the exact same voice. I know. And, of course, on my way here, I couldn't help but to think, geez, how big is he? Is his personality the same? Has he changed very much? I would love to know if Bubbles still remembers me because it's been about 20-something years now since I've seen him last. Bubbles was very... She sounds so much like Michael Jackson. Yeah. It's very similar voices sounding when they talk. He was very human-like. Of course, the apes are human-like anyway to begin with. But Bubbles was a little bit more so than the rest of them because he was raised around our family, around us, eating at the tables with us, doing everything that we needed. Eating at the tables. Asking for his shower. Baiting with us. And having whatever he wants. Whoa. So here she is in an emotional reunion with Bubbles. Bubbles? Bubbles? Oh, yes. Hi, Bubbles. Hello. Hi. Hi, Bubbles. You know I miss you. Thank you. I haven't seen you in ages, Bubbles. Don't know who you are. Do you remember me? Nope, I don't. Bubbles? Yes, hello. Do you remember me, Bubbles? I don't. I do, too. I don't. Do you, Bubbles? Okay, I do, I do, I do. Bubbles? Yes. Bubbles. Yep.

2:55Oh, I want to kiss you. I want to hug you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. Please. Don't cry. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. Please don't cry. Oh, my gosh. Do you remember me, do you? I do. I do remember you. I do remember you. It just came back to me. I know you now. You're Melancholya. Craig, you want to get her out of here? Get her out of here. I remember you. You remember me, do you? Yeah, I do. I do, Craig. Get her out of here. I remember. Get her out, please. Thank you. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Oh, come on. Don't you know a joke when you're here? Oh, please. Oh, man. It's funny. Latoya had a handler. Yeah. Craig? My goodness. Craig? No, it was Bubbles that had the handler. Bubbles needs the handler. Bubbles? Yes. Bubbles. Yes. Yes. Hi, Bubbles. I don't have a hearing problem. I can't talk either, by the way. I miss you. I haven't seen you in ages, Bubbles. I don't know who you are. Do you remember me? No. Bubbles? Yes. You heard me, Bubbles? No, I don't. I don't. You look like you, too. I don't. Do you, Bubbles? You're hugging me tightly. Bubbles? Yes. Bubbles. Oh, I want to kiss you. No, no, no, no. Don't talk. No, no, no, no, no.

4:22I don't like the way she says, Why do I think that if I watched a video of this, I'd probably cry? Oh my gosh. I probably would too. Did you ever see that Christian the Lion's reunion? Of course, L-O-B. Of course. Now that is an animal reunion. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I cried at my desk for 15 minutes. This is weird. I showed that video to, like, everyone I know. Oh, I love it. I cried so hard. How would she know if Bubbles even remembered her? Did they hug or something, I wonder? I don't know. You'll have to watch Animal Planet. You'll have to watch Animal Planet tonight and watch Michael Jackson and Bubbles, the untold story. Bubbles slaps her butt. No, it's Michael Jackson. It's called Michael Jackson and Bubbles, the untold story. It's about their affair. Told by Latoya. Told through the eyes of Latoya Jackson. Oh, boy. She's such a drama queen. That was a little dramatic, I thought. Yes. I hear you. I don't have a hearing issue. Yeah, if you love me so much, where have you been for 20 years? I know. Bubbles? Yes. Bubbles. Yeah.

5:31Yes. Hi, Bubbles. Hello. Hi. Hi, Bubbles. Hi, hi, hi, hi. You know, I miss you. Okay, I don't know you. I haven't seen you in ages, Bubbles. I know. Why now? I was just waiting for my brother to pass away and exploit his death, okay? Bubbles? Yes, I hear you. Do you remember me, Bubbles? I want to kiss you, Bubbles. You've asked me. 12 times if I remember you. I wonder how many times she says bubbles. And I can't talk either. I can't speak. Me, no speaking English. You understand that? I don't speak Crazy Jack. Yes, I don't. I never did. I still don't. I got trapped by this guy 20 years ago. A handler named Craig. Who wouldn't listen to a thing I say? I've been talking to Craig for 20 minutes, saying, can you please help me with this? Usher someone out of here. Can I say it a different way for you, Craig? Oh, I want to kiss you. Don't do that. I don't want you to. Because you're so big. All right, all right, all right, all right. Oh, you're squeezing me really tight. Oh, my God, it's so tight. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, I do. It's so weird.

6:52Creepy. Okay, thank you. Craig, can you please, with Latoya, to the front entrance. Look at you. You're so big. Gross. See you, Mikey. Bye-bye. Bye now. See you. You guys want to do Tuesday Tutors? Oh, please. It's Tuesday. Let's do Tuesday Tutors. Come on. Oh, yeah. Let's film them. We're doing extra stupid today. Yeah. I'll start. I'll start easy. Well, let me explain. Tuesday Tutors is a little game that we play. And you go to MikeyShow.com. A little button there says Tuesday Tutors. And you click on Tuesday Tutors. And you tell us what your questions are for your kids between K and 8th grade. Kindergarten in A. So if you guys know the answer, say your names. We use our name as a buzzer. How many sides does a trapezoid have? Lauren. Lauren. Four. Yes! Whoa! Yes! Whoa! Way to start this off right. Nerd. Good job. I was like thinking seven. What is that? A trapezoid. Is it a mathematics? Well, this is mine. I think it looks...

8:16It's a shape? Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like. It's a shape? Yeah. It's almost like a gold bar. Yes, that's exactly what it looks like. It's shaped like a gold bar. It's exactly like a golden bar. That's what I knew what it looked like. That's what our chocolate was made of. Idiot! Okay. Who was the first president to be impeached? Mikey. Mike? Bill Clinton. No. Woods. Tricky Dick Nixon. No. Really? Anybody else? Andrew Johnson. Oh, didn't know there was a president with that name. I knew Andrew Jackson. I knew Andrew Jackson. I totally went to high school with that dude. I bet you did. Andrew Johnson? I knew Andrew Jackson, too. Wow, we're really stupid. One and one, it's not bad. Shortstop for the Marlins, right? Andrew Johnson, yeah. What is the largest? It's Andrew Johnson and the Magnetic Zeros, right? That's it. That's it. All right, third question. What is the largest?

9:18South American country by area. Woods. Brazil. Yes. Look at you, Woodsy. There you go. All right. I'm going to make it a little bit harder. What are the six layers of the earth in order? Oh, my gosh. Really? Lauren, this is third grade. Six layers. This third grade question. The core. No, wait. You're going from the center up. Oh. You can. That's fine, right? Yeah, whatever. The crust. Wait, so you went from the core of the earth to the crust of the earth? Yeah. I'll be impressed if you... All right, fine. Let's try it all together. There's six, right? No, no, no. I'm starting outside now. Okay, fine. The crust. Okay. The outer core. You're not going in order, but if you can name all six, I'll give it to you. The inner core. Uh-huh. The core. Yep. Say the core more. No. There's not a core. There's only the outer core. The epicenter. No. The epicenter is where an earthquake happens. I don't know. Magma. What about the cream filling? No. Magma? No. What about custard? Creme brulee. No. You got three out of six, but I'm not going to give it to you because you wouldn't give it to you. Core, inner core crust, the sauce, the mushrooms, the peppers. The dirt. Lithuania. Lithium. Lithuania. John Lithgow. John Lithgow. John Lithgow.

10:41What? Lithograph. Lithograph. Litho-self. Lithosphere. Lithosphere. Ah, Edward Sharp and the lithosphere. Magnosphere. Asthenogram. Asthenogram. Third graders know this? And mesosphere. Oh. Well, the person that emailed me this, because you can go and send it to MikeyShow.com to submit your questions, and they said it was third graders. I can't believe that. That's insane. I know. Okay, so what are you? Two for two? No. One and a half. Okay. All right. One and a half for three. You have more? How many more? A lot? Yeah. I'm having fun. I'll tell you when I start to get really bored. Okay. What does the S stand for in Harry S. Truman? Oh, gosh. Mikey. Mike. Stella. Lauren. Stella. Lauren. Seymour? No. Seymour Butts. Woods. Salvatore. It stands for nothing. It's just S because both of his grandfathers had the middle name of an S. It was Ship and Solomon, so he didn't want to choose, so he just made it S. That's my brother, too. That's killer. My brother Steve, his middle name is B. Really? The letter B. Was he like a rapper in the 80s? Stephen B. Esparza. My mom thought that had a ring to it. Yeah. That's why she gave him that middle name. Stephen B. Esparza? Mm-hmm. Stephen B. Crazy. Yeah, I saw Stephen B. Crazy. What epic poem?

12:07Told by Homer. Lauren. Tells the story of the Trojan War. Odyssey. The Odyssey. Wrong. Oh, I'm sorry. The Iliad. There you go. You guys already got it wrong, though. She got it wrong. I didn't say my name. Woods. You said Odyssey the first time. I didn't say my name, though. I'm like, I don't know. You got it wrong. You got it wrong. The Iliad. Didn't count. The Iliad. You're the big brain on Brad. What is an isthmus? Oh, Woods. Woods. Woods. It's a body of water. Nope. No. Mikey. Mike? It is like a peninsula. In fact, it is a peninsula. Yes. What's on both sides of it? Suez. That's the only one I know. Guadalcanal. Yeah. It's a narrow strip of land with water on both sides. Oh, I was close. Yeah. Isthmus of Suez. I don't even know where that is. I don't even know if that's a real Isthmus. It is a real Isthmus. Is it? It's an Isthmus. We should get Susanna to say it. Susanna, say Isthmus.

13:07Take your retainer out and say this. Fantastic. What was the name of the ship that pilgrims first took to get to the U.S.? Really? The Mayflower. Mayflower. It's so easy. When I read that question, I thought it was like... You need to wait until the question is done. Okay, fine. Good Lord. How many years... Woods! Say it! Say it! Oh, my. How many years is one term for a U.S. representative? Which? Eight years. Wrong. Four years. Two years. Four years. Wrong. Two years. Mikey? It lasts their whole lifetime. It is two years. I knew it was one or the other. Two years. All right, one more. You guys aren't that bad. One more. Okay. All right. I'm looking for a good one. People are wrecking their cars right now. Idiots. What is the difference between a homophone and a homonym? Well, one doesn't like gays. Well, one likes boys. One likes girls. One really has negative things to say about gay people. The difference between a homophone and a homonym. Lauren? A homophone is when a word kind of sounds like another word. A homonym.

14:36Is when something means almost the same thing as another word. No. Nope. That's a synonym. A homophone are words that sound the same, but they're spelt differently, like they're. Right. Yes. And a homonym are also words that sound the same, but are spelt the same, like read and read. Very good, Sienna. Yeah. Great explanation. Is that my brain? And now it's time for some old time radio. Where's your Uncle Pete? We were held up, Tom. Three men. They took the Flying Bee payroll and headed up toward Pine Gap. This is real, by the way. This is real. Oh, my God. From 1929, I believe. Oh, my God. I love it. Now, let me tell you. What they used to do back in the old days is they didn't have TV. But they did have budgets. Just like for TV shows now, they've got big budgets. So they would spend the dough on, you know.

15:33Coconut shells to make hooves. Yeah. They'd have these giant productions. I took Uncle with them. Come on in the house quick. We'll get the boys together and we'll go after. No, I'll take the... When did anyone really talk that way? That's the best guy they could find. Yeah. Tell them the boys quick. Get me into town and get my car. All right, Betty. That's genius. I love that. The name Betty has gone by the wayside. Yes. My grandma's name. 1929, it was like, you know, it was the Jaden of the time. It was the Caitlyn of... It was Caitlyn of 1925. It's like, oh, Betty. Wow. That's quite a name. Flusi. Yeah, Flusi. That's the car. The phone. Oh, my gosh. Alexander Graham Bell's like, hello. Yes, hello. Come here, Pio. Ring up the boys, man. Tell them to meet me at Pine Creek Forks. You pervert. What is that all about? Those things you were talking about there.

16:38The whole payroll's been robbed. $14.25 for the entire staff. Tell the boys to ride. Hey, George, where'd you put that ammunition? Really? It's the same guy doing different things. Yes, yes. It's the same guy. Hey, George, where'd you put the ammunition? Really? I don't know. It's in your desk. It's in your drawer. Why don't you ask Betty the floozy when you put ammunition? And while you're at it, pay the entire staff their wages of $14.25. The middle one. Hello, May. They've gone. Have you got the other boys? When did that stop? I love it. When did women stop talking like this? When did anyone stop using this inflection? Sounds like the TomTom girl. I know. Difficult. I couldn't talk like that if I tried. Woodsy, Google who's on first. Get the script of who's on first so that TomTom girl and I can do, we're going to do our old time radio. Okay. Let me do it right now. Some of them, I'm calling the blacksmith now.

17:58Calling the blacksmith? That's the last time we did that. Call the cobbler. Right now, my shoes are in need of a cobbling. Honey, Rebecca, can you call... Did you call the blacksmith this morning or what? Babe! Babe, how many times do I have to leave you sticky notes for the blacksmith? I thought you said goldsmith. You left the damn stick in the butter churn again, too. I'm tired of this. You spoiled the butter because you left the churn in it. And I'm not going to pay for another freaking churn. We've already got blacksmith bills up the wazoo. Maybe you send the boys down to Pine Tree Hill. Lauren, it's Pine Tree Forks. You know that. Hello, guys. It's somebody calling from Kai Chikin. Is there a Jacob Asfaza there? They've got his cobbling done. This is his mother. I'll come down immediately and pick it up. My name is Rebecca. It's fantastic. I love old-timey radio. Hello? I can hear a word. I'm tired. I don't understand what words are saying. I don't understand either.

19:26Too busy blacksmithing. Punching dorks. Do you have the script? Yeah, too. And now it's time for All Time Radio with the TomTom Girl. All right, TomTom Girl, I'm going to start. I'm going to be Abbott. You be Costello. We're going to do who's on first. Who is Abbott and Costello? I need to probably download it to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me download it. Download it to her. Abbott and Costello, old-time comedy duo. Comprehending comedic ability. That's right. See, the problem with the TomTom Girl is that the TomTom Girl doesn't really have good inflection. Or timing. Timing. I think I've got this. All right, let's give it a try. I say, who's on first? What's on second? I don't know who's on third. Are you the manager? TomTom Girl, that doesn't sound much... That doesn't sound like a question. You have to do it with a question. mark at the end of it like you would say are you the manager raise your voice at the end yeah and raise your voice at the end i say who's on first what's on second i don't know is on third are you the manager yes you gotta be the coach too see that's a question mark too tom tom so you gotta say are you gonna be the coach too try it again understanding

20:52You're going to be the coach, too. Yes. And you don't know the fellow's names. Well, I should. Well, then, who's on first? Yes. I mean the fellow's name. Who? The guy on first. Who? The first baseman. Who? The guy playing. Who is on first? I am asking you. Who's on first? She's not getting it. She doesn't understand. Not happening. She doesn't get it. She doesn't get the concept. No. And she doesn't really get, you know, she just doesn't have the influence. It's not her fault. No, she's a machine. She doesn't understand. She's a machine. I'm riding, Harry. Put that wagon all the way. He's riding, Harry. That's your first problem, buddy. Get off of me. It's Tom and Jerry. This is the music I want us to start the show with.

21:56Get rid of Linkin Park. We get that. Really? It's back in the van, Sammy. It's adorable. What's he going to do at the time? So they're doing this bit, right? In a studio, I'm assuming? Yeah. Big room. Just a big room. And now, welcome to CBS Productions. But I bet it wasn't that big a room. I bet they were cramped in trying to do this whole drawn-out production. Yeah, and you see someone literally with a hammer banging on it. Yeah. My favorite part's where the guys all have the coconuts and they're all, there's like 12 of them. They're doing the coconuts. Amazing. We should, we should. Exhausting. Wow, Jay. Why don't we go? There you go. There you go, Jay. Jay's riding a horse into the studio. Woods, help me. I'm on my way, pal. I'm on my way. Hurry, quick. Let's get down to the creek. Hang on. You brought three horses with you, did you? What are you trying to tell me, Flicka? Flicka. And when Jackie from Ramona. Good morning. Morning. Hey, I just wanted to chime in on the whole British accent. Why did everybody speak funny like that? Yeah. It's because in the day when you were hired on by an agent or by a studio, you were immediately sent to England for speechless. Is that right? Really?

23:24Yes, yes. That's why Debbie Davis, who's from the U.S., or any actress in the day, or actor, they would say, Papa, but you've forgotten me. That's Madonna's excuse. Yeah. It's this faux British accent, kind of like Madonna thing. Can you imagine if they did that to actors and actresses now? Oh, my gosh. Like sending, you know. Britney Spears or somebody. She's not really an actress, is she? That's the first actress that came to your mind. Of all the actresses. But I was thinking of somebody like clownish like her. Like if she came back and was like, yeah, see? Megan Fox. Yeah, Megan Fox. A little bit more relevant. Imagine if they sent Loretta Swift. You know, hot lips from MASH. Imagine if they sent her. I hate all of you so much. I can't hear you. Wait a minute. Now, what'd you say? I'm cupping my hands over my mouth. That is an example of what we do here on the Mikey Show. We are on our seven and a half. Trying to get my blood sugar kind of in order. Even. Regulated. Regulated. Regulated. Look outside. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. What a great day to take the day off of work and just.

24:50Toss the football around. Are we supposed to really pretend like we're just doing a radio show? I'm so distracted. You guys are real half-assed? Shut it. I said. We look better than you. Yeah. Right. Look it. We're all done. Like all, you know. Looks like you put it on in a closet. Look at a transvestite avatar. I just looked at myself in the mirror for the first time. It's pretty. I have not seen mine. I told Nancy, our face painter, I said she was going to give me a butterfly or a princess or something. I said the point of this is to go out of our comfort zone. Something that would make me look silly like I wouldn't normally do. So that's why I went with Tony the Tiger. Where did her business card go? I've got her information right here. It's Nancy, the airbrush artist. And it's Clown, Yoo-Hoo, and Company located on Friars Road in Mission Valley. And you can contact them at 619-291-2720. She also goes by the name Airbrush Annie. There we go. Airbrush Annie. Airbrush Annie. She does all kinds of parties. Woods looks like Gene Simmons' great-grandfather. It looks like Gene Simmons got pneumonia or something. Yeah, it's like he tried out for Kiss and it didn't work.

26:11They were like, you got to perfect. You got to figure out what you are, pal. And then come back and maybe in a couple months we'll see it CBGBs. But right now, we don't know what you are, dude. I'm sorry, Mike, but you have blush on your cheek. I know. He's got a number one right between his eyes. Can I see a compact? Yeah. That's about right. You have pink and purple blush on your cheekbone and it's really hard to catch. You're a butterfly. Can you not look to the mirror, Mike? Butterfries are free. Let's say Jane Gum. Right now he is. He's checking it out. He's a flutterfly. You're checking it out as if it's something you see every day. Look. Look. Jane Gum. Let's do the tuck. Would you... Would you F me? Sorry. What? I'd lift me. I'd lift me so hard. Airbrush paint on his lips. So when he smiles, you can see the... Cracks in his lips. It freaks me out. I have yellow eyelids. Did you do that on purpose? Yeah. I have jaundice. That was an accident. You look like the Joker. All right, M1s. Here is our question to you. Stop it. I had to, dude. I'm sorry. Leave me alone, please. I had to. I had to do it. I didn't see it. I had to pick my nose. Oh, gross. I look fantastic. Someone come from my ears throbbing. I have pain all over me. Lori does look really good. You look great. Yeah, you do.

27:46You learn maybe the best. Yeah. She's like a tiger. How long with this bit? Why don't you just take it easy? I understand that. I understand that. I want to do a bet later. What? We have basketball out there. Yep. I know. Oh, yeah. Pop a shot. I've beat Jay and Todd so far today. You beat Todd? You know what? The time was running out. We were supposed to run back in here, and I stopped. Not my fault you didn't know the thing was running out. One-handed, I was just boom, boom. Oh, yeah. Pop, pop, pop. I'm bad at those. I'm pretty good at those. I'll take all of you. William. I'll try. What about basketball, though? That, too. Wow. Creepy. Real good. About that time. What's it going to be like at 3 a.m.? Oh, God. Even more subtle. Yeah, just way subtle. Can I motorboat you? Just show them to me. Just once, please. I find you to be very attractive. It's 1.30. We got to wear this stuff till 2. I'll go longer because I'm leaving early. Well, late tonight. Okay. I'm just, you know, trying to help out so you guys don't hate me. You're doing good. You're doing good. You're hanging, yeah.

29:07Oh, yeah, no, I'm doing great. I feel bad that I'm leaving it. I'll whip your butt at that. I'll take it. Let me take it right now because I will. You guys go right now. We'll wash my face. No, Woods. Come on. I did it way earlier than everybody else. You guys were talking to all the girls in here. He has dried blood on his ear. I don't even care what Woods does. If I, if you lose. No, no, don't wash it off. Yeah. If you lose, you have to stay in the RV. Stay here. If I lose. Yeah. Well, as long as I can have my baby. I just need... If I lose... What if I throw her off her sleep routine? You should be in... Rebecca's going to be in... There's going to be people. Her mom. Everybody. The baby has to pay. Yeah. She's three months old. She'll mine. She won't. Four months old. What do I do? I'll shave my goat. I'll shave my goatee. Off. Completely.

30:01If I lose. Should we wax it off? If I lose. I've never seen you without any facial hair. Oh, without anything? He's going to be hairless. Please win. I'll win. Dude, I didn't miss one. I saw you. And you were making baskets. And this is great because it means that we'll have Sienna. I haven't warmed up, but you know what? I'm going to be that confident. All right. Can we mic this somehow? I played basketball for a little while. Yeah, we do need a mic. See, Anna has a big star in the middle of her forehead, and you have a number one. I don't know who to vote for. What do we do? Are we just going? What about the microphones? Jay says he's got it figured out. Yeah, can you hear me now? Oh, wow. Do I have to stay and hear me now? Can you hear me? Yeah. On the air? Or you just personally can hear me? Oh, I don't know. Put your headphones on and see if you can hear me. Yeah, I heard him. All right. I've got a microphone here for you. So what do you do? Do you just grab the balls? Well, we can do it in time. That's, hold on, you can do it timed. Timed. Let's do it timed. Oh my gosh, this is the most. What is this called? It's like a basketball. It's like when you're at an arcade and they have the basketball hoops, but this one has two hoops, so we can go at the same time. All right, so we'll go, we'll go, and it's like electronic, and so it will measure how many we get in a certain period of time. Yep. How long do we have? Hold on, it's not starting yet. I gotta do it again. Oh, wow. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't either.

31:28Why don't we just go? Why don't we go one at a time? Okay. I wish somebody were here. There are two. Oh, two. Two. There we go. Ready? And then they'll time us. We don't know how. Getting antsy. Dogs are getting antsy. Why don't we just go and then you guys time us? Here we go. Here we go. Countdown. How long until you have to go back? Hey. Yeah. Whoa. She already went. I'm going. I already have one. I got. I had one. I had two. I had one. I have three. I got. Oh, gosh, darn it. I have four. I do not have one. I have one. I have one. I had one, I thought. I have two. I have two. I have six. I have seven. Oh, I had three. I have ten. Just putting them up. I have a little. Please. Please. Eleven. Oh, my gosh. Twelve. Come on, Mikey. Twelve. What are you doing? Trying, Jay. Trying. Put it in the hole. Fourteen. Oh, my gosh. Gosh, dang it. Fifteen.

32:30Are you kidding? Is she serious? How many do I have? I got 15. That's disgusting. Oh, wow. Did he get any? Bring it! Mikey, know what you're doing, my friend. That was horrific. Oh, my gosh. Mikey just got pummeled. Take that! Sienna handled it. Take that! She handled it. You know why? I won. Did you shave your face? I did it for Sage. Oh. Rebecca's not happy. He's the one that even offers it out. Did you lose? Yeah. Did you get like three? No, I got more than that, didn't I? You lost? I got 15. 15 points? Baskets, yeah. 15 baskets. Dude, she got 15. There's video. She smoked. She was just putting them up one after the other. This doesn't come off, by the way. Oh. You have to shave your goatee? Oh. That stuff didn't come off your face, Woods. You still see it, don't you? Yeah. It's not coming off. You just asked as if.

33:33Like maybe you thought there was a fleck there. No, no. It looks like you made love to a Smurf. I said. Papa Smurf. I said it doesn't come off. It doesn't come off. Vaseline. Vaseline. I'm kind of soaked as you. Let me grab my Vaseline. Yeah. Well, it's something that we could get at CBS. Chris, Will, did you guys bring Vaseline? I didn't hear you, Chris. Will, Jay. I just wondered if you guys have Vaseline. Just run to my car. Rebecca's, Rebecca. Oh, she's got wipes. She brought wipes for me because I got to get changed at five. Okay, but we can't take ours off yet. Woods is just being a baby. No, it burns. My whole face is covered. Oh, boy. Your face burns. You're so sensitive. Get a couple more little stars on yours. Huh? Get a couple more little stars. Honey, do you have a thing? I'm going to see if I can take it off with a... On you? No, I can't take it off yet. No. Aren't we going outside with it? No, no. No, it's too much because we're going to be like, ugh. Look at those. Okay, take a picture. I thought you already took pictures. I haven't had mine yet. I haven't taken my picture yet. Oh, we got to take pictures. I already did one. They took pictures of me. They took pictures of me. We'll come in there right now and take pictures. All right. When are you going to shave your goatee? Right now. During the Christmas break or something. No! You're doing it today, my dear. No. Next best of break?

35:00Yes. 100. Did you really think, like, you were going to take me? No, I thought I was going to smoke you. Yeah, I thought you were too. Sienna, come over here. We'll get a picture real quick. We're taking pictures with our face paint. All of us? Yeah. Woods has his off. Well, we don't need him. He already took pictures. Mikey's going to replace me. Yeah, we'll take it together. Look it. L.O.B. is like adjusting her hair. She's dressed like a tiger. Oh, I'll do my tramp stamp. Hold on, hold on. I'll do my tramp stamp. Three, two, one. One more just in case. Three, two. We are ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I took my hair down for the picture. I have airbrushed paint all over my face. I know. You girls are getting your hair. I was trying to look more like a tiger. Your hair. Lord, it looks hilarious. Oh, man. That was a great idea. I look like the Frosted Flakes guy. I didn't think someone was going to call it. I just said I like face paint. I'm sorry.

36:13You ever complain about every bit we do? Every small baby you win one time. I got a hole in my ear and my skin's on fire. Jay was going to pierce his nipple. Was gonna. Didn't. Well, that's because you lost. Did I? Yes, you did. You never feel you lose anything. I don't. But you did and you do. No, I lost that. Sometimes you lose. I lost that challenge to Jay that one time. You ever just put Vaseline all over your face and it doesn't do anything? It's burning. Gosh, dude, you are a mess. I mean, just a mess. Lauren, look who's here. Look who's here, Lauren. Sage gets to meet another baby. I'm worried that I'm going to scare her. We did pictures if you want to go change. If you want to go wash your face. I know. Now Carly's looking at me like, what's that guy about? It's just a butterfly. I guess a huge airbrush butterfly on his face. She's really scared. Is this off? Is it off? Is it off? Are we on the radio still? Woods. I'm scaring her. Woods, your makeup is the farthest thing from being off. You can get black all over your eyes. More than likely. Oh, man. Is this sauna in here? It's so hot.

37:405701949. Okay, I got a topic for us. You ready? Let's do it. Let's do this. Focus in. They say that a guy is supposed to spend two and a half months paying an engagement ring. Is that fair or not fair? It's fair. That's so stupid. So say you make like two grand a month. No. So it'd be five grand on a ring, right? Yeah, that's right. I always heard 10%, I thought. No. I think that that's horrific. What? Why? Because I think that it's an awful thing to have to put... that much on a guy and love and everything? It's a stupid standard. What do you mean? Marriage. No, no, no. I say that it could be $600. Get out of town, dude. If that's what he can afford, he doesn't have to break the bank. A month and a half is the standard. One and a half? Two and a half months. That's about right. Well, don't you think? What's 60 divided by 12? Five. Okay, so if you make five grand a month, it should be... Oh, no, that's 12 and a half. 12 and a half. 12 and a half thousand dollars, you guys. I think it's a month and a half. That's so wrong. Did the article say two and a half? That's the rule. Two and a half months. Is it two and a half? It's just two, Rebecca says. Two months? That's awful. That's a lot of dough. A dude makes 60 grand a year.

39:11He's supposed to spend $10,000. That seems a little crazy. That seems so excessive. Yeah. Especially because you get taxes taken out. So maybe. Yeah. It brings home 40. Yeah. Yep. Wow. All right. Well, I think we just figured that. Scratch her off the list. But are there, there would be women out there that are like, these carrots do not equate. To the salary that he makes. I'm getting gypped. That would be really shallow of a girl. But I think it happens. I have a rule for guys. What? Go more than she expects. And you're never going to get hurt. Well, dude. But you set her up. Because no longer are the days where somebody just goes and is like, hey, babe, you didn't know I was going to ask you to marry me. You know what I mean? You don't know what she expects. If you're smart, you're like, babe. If we got married, what kind of cut do you want? Do you want a princess cut? You know that stuff. I think that takes the romance right out of it. Dude, I didn't ask Rebecca. You just guessed? Yeah. That's why she got a new ring. She didn't. That's why she wants a new ring. She wants a new ring probably because she would want it bigger. Do you want a new ring? She doesn't want a new ring. That's not what I heard. Clown. Did you tell Jamie that you wanted a new ring? Uh-oh. Oh, boy. When we were at that benefit on Friday night, all three of us.

40:34Yumi and Woods were talking to someone whose ring was about the size of my head. Oh, yeah. About 106 carats. And so it was a joke. Like, I was like, oh, I want to, you know. Right, right, right. That ring that she had on. That's what's more than our house. Yeah, the ring she had on was probably six carats. Easily. It was a baseball player's wife. Yeah. Wow. It was a giant. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Beautiful ring. But, yeah, I can't afford a six carat diamond. No. Why? And why should you? Even if you can afford it, don't break the bank for a piece of jewelry. That is a lucky, lucky man. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. I mean, look at me. I don't wear jewelry. Jamie was like, I would take a ring out of a gumball machine. I don't even care. And I was like, well, that may be what you get. And she's like, well, I want something. I want something. I want something. It's got to be nice. It's got to be nicer than my girlfriends. I'm like, oh, okay. M1 Sarah. from El Cajon. You there? Yes, I am. Tell me about your ring. Okay, well, first of all, my husband and I met through your show, Mikey. Oh, yeah. That's great. Okay, so my ring seriously cost 400 bucks. It's not even a ring. It's supposed to be the actual band. So I have a band that costs 99 bucks and my actual ring...

41:54Plus 500. We did our whole wedding for under a thousand. Wow. That's amazing. It's awesome. The story is that seriously, if you love someone, who cares? Don't put monetary value on a ring. It's a symbol. Who cares? I agree. It doesn't make him love you less if he can't afford to get you a ring. Jay agrees too. I agree with that. Easy. My husband was actually out in Yuma on maneuvers and he actually proposed over the phone because he was like, the time is right. I wanted to wait till I got home and it feels right. I want to do it now. Why do you get my ring till like seven months later? There you go. See, exactly. See, and I had originally heard that the whole standard for putting that much money aside was to show like the father, okay, I am so willing to. commit and I'm so ready for marriage that I'm going to show you that I've been able to put this much money away. I make this much money. So that's where that standard came from. I don't know. I have an idea. You guys want to play dartboard truth or dare? 100%. Yes. Oh yeah. Watch out ladies over there by the dartboard. You might get winged. How's it going to work? Because what we have is a regular dartboard. What we have is a regular dartboard. We just need to figure out

43:13How about black? Black is truth. White is dare. There you go. Okay. Then what's red and green? Bye, Mom. My mother-in-law's leaving. Bye, Mama Jean. Bye, Mama Jean. Good to see you. What did we decide? Black is truth. White is dare. White is dare. Black is the truth. But what is red and green? Pass. All right. Grab the darts. Who's up first? Don't touch my darts. Mama Jean's glasses. Mama Jean's glasses. No, those aren't. I don't think those are hers. Yeah, they were left. I get it. I think the ADI people that were in baby left a pair of glasses. Yeah. You said that like a butterfly. Who's shooting first? You go. Okay, here we go. Dark board, truth or dare? Black is what? Black is truth. White is dare. And he got... That counts as black, right? Black. All right, truth. Truth. Okay. You ever peed in the swimming pool?

44:21Yes, absolutely, 100%. More than once? Maybe you just asked me about your swimming pool. As an adult? Did you pee in there? Oh, my gosh, Mike, what would you have done? Woods. No, not as an adult. All right. It's called truth or dare, not lie or dare. Do they make chlorine that changes color? No. I know, that scared me as a kid. Go ahead. That's black, right? Yep. Truth. If asked to, would you perform a striptease for Jamie in the presence of others? No. You would not do that? Truth is not as fun as dare. All right, throw. Okay. What happens if we miss the board altogether and say hit the wall? Then you're just goofball. Immediate dare. Then probably consider me a goofball. You could do it. Truth or dare. You got dare. Bring it on, people.

45:29Climb up on this table. Okay. Oh, gosh. Make a seductive face and say, and I mean sell it, Sienna. Come on, baby. Light my fire. Oh, my God. On the couch. On the couch? Yeah. Maybe not on the board. Not on the board. No. It'll hold. But do we got liquid all over it? Come on, baby. Light my fire. But, I mean, you got to sell it. Like, you got to be, like, give it. We want to hear it, though. That's what I'm saying. You have to climb right up on here. You have to give it your all. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. There she goes. Careful your head. Oh, gosh. That's your seductive pose? Yeah. What? There's not much room. That's your seductive pose. Oh, my God. That husband's, like, right outside. You ever just criticize your teammates for everything? I know. Well, me? I'm trying. She's getting into position. I'm in the little, like... Come on, baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. No, I mean, sell it. Sell it. Sell it. Come on. You're freaking me out. Do it, do it. You got it. Oh, my gosh. What's happening right now? What is happening right now? What is happening right now? I'm going to pee on the table. Come on, baby. Light my fire. Yeah. Yeah, Sienna. I love it.

46:57She just threw the dart into the poncho four feet from the dartboard. Why don't you not throw with your feet? I get afraid that I'm going to hit somebody in the eye. But there's no one over there. Green. It's in the white alley, though. White alley. White. It's there. It's there. Oh, my gosh. She'd rather have black. Yeah, true. Oh, well. You know that. Sing We Are The Champions with as much passion as you possibly can. I mean, when you do this, it has to be like... Okay, just the chorus? Because I don't know if I know... Wait, I'm looking it up right now. It's We Are The Champions, my friend. And we'll keep on fighting till the end. On the mic. But you must understand the spirit of this, L.O.B. It is like... Oh, gosh. It is like from your gut. My heart is pounding. It's from your gut. And it's like this is... You mean every word of this song. It's like you're a 10-year-old Taiwanese boy on some game show somewhere. Exactly. That's exactly. I'm not going to look at any of you then. It'd be like this.

48:26You hear how he's given it everything he's got? That's what you're going to do right now with We Are The Champions. You ever just look like a tiger and sing We Are The Champions? I don't know that part. No, no, no. Just do the We Are The Champions part. Of the world. Wow. I believed it. Well done. Could be a crackhead. All right. He's terrified. Michael. That's Barza. Give me the list. I went through all the first pages. Black is truth. White is dare. Oh. Is that a dare, my friend? That is truth. It is barely. It is. Barely truth, but it's truth. Truth. Ever just read forever? Highlighted one. It's all there in the first page. Woods, say something. Come on, Woods. Come on. It's radio. What is that?

50:01You want me to just read it? Yeah. It's only 28 hours, Woods. Yeah. I like the kid getting real careful over there. Hey, Woods, you just want to finish the whole chapter? Yeah. I mean, really with this? Have you ever gone a whole day without wearing an underwear is what it says. I think Jay typed this list. I think it means any. Have I ever gone a whole day without wearing any underwear? Yes. Yes. You know that. Really? I was sweating that one. What a D. We should make it dare or dare. All right, fine. Do you want a dare? I'll throw again. Well, why don't we just say dare? Hold on, I'm going to read through these real quick. No. Good Lord. Oh, you don't want to do that one. You should let Rebecca do that one, though. Oh, boy. And she texted to her. Oh, here we go. Give a piggyback ride.

51:09To the player on your left. Rebecca. Piggyback ride. Piggyback ride. We should play chicken woods. I'll get on your shoulders. We can take them. Oh, my gosh. What if I fart? Then it'll make for good radio. I'm sure Rick R. Jackson's listening right now going, really? This is what you guys are going to do today? Hey. She's light. Mission accomplished. All right. You get it. All right. Great job. That turkey jerky tastes like feet over there. It tastes delicious. Want to do it again? Want to do one more? Sure. Let's have the kid do it. Here we go. Oh, wait, it's actually white. It's mulatto. Is it truth or dare? Dare. I told you. This is kind of funny.

52:32We send him in the hallway and he has to run around once, you know, through the thing screaming. My wife has run away. Please help. I got a mic out there. What? We have a mic out there. We do? Yeah. All right. My wife has run away. Please help. How about my wife has left me? Screaming. Yeah. Screaming. We have a mic, right? Yeah, we have a mic. Do I have to turn that up somewhere? It's a good question. Yeah, ask Jay if I have to turn it up on the board somewhere. Jay, does he need to turn it up on the board? Can you guys hear me on the mic? Yeah, I can hear it. You can? Yep. Loud and clear. Perfectly. Okay. I'm going out in the hall. Yeah, put it out in the hall. Scream. You better scream. My wife is laughing. Please help! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's doing it. My wife is laughing. Scream louder. My wife is laughing. Please help!

53:37He's doing this with a Batman airbrush on his face. That's true. Job well done. Job well done. Really? That was funny. I think our general manager hates us. Yes. Probably. Reconsidering this whole thing. This is what I paid for. Who's next? I'll go. Yep. Black is true. Mm-hmm. Good job, bud. It's better than hit the hat. Okay. All right. That's two times you couldn't make things stick. And you were telling Lauren how to... I was in a dart league. Were you? Yep. Greetings. Truth. Truth? Yep. If you woke up one day, Woods, found out you were invisible, it's the first thing you'd do. Playboy Mansion. You'd go to the Playboy Mansion. No hesitation. Yeah, Playboy Mansion. I've thought about it a million times. What if half was the only guy home? Well, that's disgusting. What about like a college dorm?

54:49Oh, Jay. Oh, wow, Jay. I'm just throwing that out there. What about a high school locker room? I'm just saying. What about field hockey practice? What about the dressing rooms at the Brass Plum? I would take, I'd get in my van and go down to the park where the little girls play. That was, bye. How about we play some buzzword? It's my favorite game. Let's play buzzword. I love it so much. Where's Sienna? I don't know. Is she milking? She had a baby. Milking. I think you're supposed to say pumping. Pumping. Feeding. She's feeding. Feeding. Is she milking? Milking. I think it was Greg. Can you milk me? Can you milk me? Oh, jeez. Yeah, I love buzzword. Buzzword is, he'll give us a buzzword, and you call 570-1949, and you're going to pick either me, Sienna, Woods, or Lauren, and you'll win a prize. No, Sienna. She's coming, right? I don't know. I think she's pumping. Oh, okay.

55:51I got to do this. KBCT San Diego. You're listening to the Mikey Thon for Rady Children's Hospital on FM 94.9. The following takes place between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. Hour 8. Hour 8. Hour 8. Only 20 hours left, guys. One can down. You did a whole can of snuff. One down. I got four to go. I mean, I'll have to, but they're there. Do you chew four cans of snuff a day? No. Oh, you just have them just in case? I have them because I knew we were here. Okay. So just in case. I brought five and one is done. You won't. How many do you think you'll go through two? I'll get through three easy. Wow. Three easy, maybe four. Oh. What do you usually do in a day? About a can. A little less than a can. You're just doing it out of like compulsion? Because you can't smoke. He can't smoke. Yeah. He's addicted to nicotine. I'm addicted to nicotine. Real good. Love tobacco. Okay. So Jay. Yep. Sienna is pumping.

56:51Here she comes. Hey, Sienna, are you going to play the game with us? Okay. I just hate the show you're on, Sienna. M1HB is in the parking lot. How are you guys doing out there? Nice. The weather got better out there. Who do you want to pick for this? You got it. Hang on the line. Then we got M1JMac from Miramar. Who do you want? Okay, hang on. Next up, M1Minda. Ninja. Minda from Mira Mesa. Who do you want? Ninja. Ninja. Yeah. Oh, Ninja. Ninja. Okay, Ninja. Who would you like? I would love LLB2. You got it. Who would she? She'd love you back. M1 Marcella from San Diego. Hi. Hi. You have Sienna. Perfect. Thank you. All right. You got it. Hang on. She wants Sienna. She's like, never mind. She wants Sienna. All right. Now. Sienna and Sage can help.

57:50Now, I hope this doesn't scare Sages. I was thinking you should put your hands over her ears, especially when Woods is screaming at you. Because we've got to scream. It should be cool. Okay. All right, so what's the buzzword? Okay, the buzzword is pay. P-A-Y. Got it. P-Nuttity. Handy bar. Payday. P-Nuttity. That's what it says on here. Maybe it says P-Nutty. No, it's N-U-T-T-Y. Yeah. Nutty. Not nutity. No, peanutty. It's peanutty. Peanutty. I think it says teen nudity. I think it's teen nudity. Teen nudity. Y'all say P-nudity? No. All right, guys. Teen nudity. Teen nudity. Here we go. P-nudity. Dig until you get a lucrative outcome. Paydirt. What? Paydirt. That expression in my life. You hit paydirt? Where does pay? Let's keep score here.

58:56Woods. No, one and one. Mike, one, Woods, one. Weird. Word is pay. Fork over a couple of limbs. Pay up. What'd you say, Mikey? Pay up. That's what I said. Wood said it first. Wood said it first. Pay up. Pay up. Yeah. What is it again? Fork over. Fork over a couple of limbs. I'm in a leg. Thank you. Oh, very good. Oh, man. So now, Mike. Does that mean that Mike and Woods are now at zero? No, I lost one. No, you got it. I lost one. He didn't. Because I yelled at first. Here we go. Don't let your mind wander. Pay attention! So Woods, two, Mike, one, me, one. Is that right? Uh, yeah. Yep. Hate this game. He's good at this. Here we go. Bribery. Pay off! What'd you say? Pay off! Yeah! Really? Mikey? Bribery. Bribery.