All shows / Best Of Album - 2005 - Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey Show
Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey Show -
Track 1 - Tough Love With Eddie
2005
Best Of Album - 2005 - Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey ShowKIOZRock 105.3
tough love advicedating and bad breathbreast reductionmedical insuranceradio workplace jokesThe Apprentice 2toughloveeddieradioadvicehalitosisdating
Eddie launched the Tough Love segment by limbering up and promising blunt advice, but his response to Steve's bad breath became a string of cruel, unsafe jokes that the other hosts condemned as useless. Dawn then described severe back pain and an unaffordable breast reduction, leading Eddie into an absurd online-milking scheme and an argument with Skye about lactation before he finally mentioned insurance. An anonymous PB listener asked to join the show through The Apprentice 2, and Eddie decided it must be Boston Rob because of the applicant's finances and connection to the station. Eddie closed that exchange by mocking Boston Rob's work habits and hygiene and taking shots at former winner Levi, while Mikey and Skye repeatedly pushed back on his insults and advice.
What happened, in order
Tough Love Limber-Up
Eddie stretches before the Tough Love segment while the hosts explain that his job is to tell listeners what they need to hear, however painful it may be.
The Bad-Breath Confession
Steve from OB says women lose interest when things turn intimate because one date finally told him that he has bad breath.
Eddie's Halitosis Roast
Eddie answers Steve with increasingly vicious jokes and reckless remedies, prompting the other hosts to argue that he has helped no one.
Dawn's Reduction Dilemma
Dawn from Lakeside asks how to afford breast-reduction surgery after her doctor says the weight of her breasts is worsening her back pain.
The Milking Scheme
Eddie proposes that Dawn make surgery money through an online milking act, then he and Skye argue over whether large breasts automatically produce milk.
Insurance Beats Puns
After a barrage of breast puns, Eddie finally suggests contacting an insurance company, while the others warn him against giving medical or coverage advice he cannot support.
The Apprentice Applicant
A broke anonymous listener from PB asks how to work for the show through The Apprentice 2, and Eddie immediately suspects the writer is Boston Rob.
Boston Rob Blueprint
Eddie turns the application advice into a roast of Boston Rob and prior winner Levi, joking that success requires absenteeism, a thick accent, long hair, and poor hygiene.
People mentioned
1,400 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
And you don't need to stretch out. I like to limber up. Well, it's not necessary. Well, it's not required. Sky, you don't realize that helping people really takes a lot out of you physically. I'm sure. And this segment is called Tough Love with Eddie and where people write in. Don't want to pull a groin. He's doing a groin stretch right there. All right, that's great. People write in, and they ask for advice, and we have Eddie give out the advice because I've known Eddie for a long time, and one thing that I know about Eddie is that he shoots from the hip, and he doesn't tell you what you want to hear. He tells you what you need to hear, and that's why we call it tough love. No placation for me. Yeah, that's right. Maybe sometimes it may hurt to hear, but that's why it's called tough love. That's why. That kind of slowly takes the band-aid off. Well, I'm not. I rip it. I don't want to deal with it. Just give it. That's right. Well, that's hurtful when you do it that way. But you know what? It's quick and it's easier in the long run. Yeah, that's right. The healing can begin quicker. It's just being vituberating. It's no big deal. Thank you. Yep. All right. Our first letter reads, Dear Eddie, I need some of your tough love. I do okay initially with the ladies. I'm a good looking guy and I think I have a decent personality.
But once it comes to the intimate part, the ladies aren't that into it. Well, I finally found out why. I went out with this chick last week, and when I went in for the kiss, she said she had to be honest. I have bad breath. Now, on one hand, I'm relieved to know what the problem is. But on the other, other than chewing gum, I'm not sure what to do. Got any advice? Signed, P1 Steve in OB. Eddie? Dear supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, you have really bad halitosis. This is actually good news for me, man. I need some paint removed from my walls, so if you just schedule a time to come over, leave on my
place, it would be great. That's rude, Eddie. That doesn't even work. Eddie is doing paper. So your breath smells like you've been chewing on a cadaver, huh? Well, my first piece of advice is to stop cleaning yourself with your tongue. I know those hard-to-reach places can really stink. Now, second. Your mouth sounds like a Mexican food dumpster, so go ahead and start using bleach as mouthwash. Now, if that doesn't cure the funk, then you may want to wrap that baby diaper of a mouth of yours around a shotgun barrel. I heard the taste of gunpowder can do wonders. Eddie! That is horrible advice. Well, you didn't help anyone. You didn't. How do you know? He helped. Well, because it's obvious. We'll find out later. I'm sure Steve will be in touch. Yeah, later we'll see if we can hear it. He'll write you back and say, you know what? I don't clean myself with my tongue. You don't know that. You don't know that. How do you know he does? Because he smells like ass. Our next letter reads.
He's got that Zachly mouth. Smells Zachly like his ass. Our next letter reads. Thank you. I'll be here all day. Next letter reads, Dear Eddie, I have a problem that I imagine is the exact opposite of what most women have to deal with. You see, I am really big up. top. The older I get, the worse my back becomes because of the weight of my breasts. My doctor suggested I have breast reduction surgery, but the problem is I don't have the money or the credit to have it done. I'm at the end of my rope. Do you have any advice? Signed, P1 Dawn from Lakeside. Eddie? Dear the good, the bad, and the juggy.
A little confused. And your problem is... The excruciating back pain. Skye, it's like she's saying, I have too much money and I want to get rid of it. If you have to carry a lot of money on your chest, someone maybe would say that. Money sucks and I hate it because I'm a total idiot whose brains are in her chi-chi. Just get your dumb advice. Fine, I will. I have a surefire way for you to make enough money for your surgery and then some. What? It's a simple little job that doesn't even require extensive schooling. It's actually a new fad on the internet called milking. What, Teddy? What? Well, Mikey, I know you don't, you know, peruse these sites, but no. Actually, they dress you up like a cow and hook up milking machines to your owners. Oh, come on, man. It's a thing. Just because you have big breasts doesn't mean you're lactating. It's a thing. I'm not one of those crazy kids that goes low. And Skye, is that true? What do you mean? If you have big breasts, it doesn't mean you're producing milk? Oh, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You have to be lactating. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure it does. No, it doesn't.
It doesn't. Honestly, I thought they were swollen with milk. Oh, shut up. Can I get back to helping Dawn? May I get back to helping Dawn? Please, please do. Please do. Just give me a call and I'll bust right over. I'll show you some tapes on the boob tube. And I'll keep you abreast of all the new movies. Stop it. Lastly, I like to say the word nipples. Thank you. Don, contact your insurance company. They'll cover most of it. You're not a doctor. We don't need you. An insurance company will cover that surgery. They'll sue you if you give them bad advice like that. Screaming out the word nipples is helpful. My bad. Give me another one, Mikey. I got another one in me, buddy.
You're out of hand. Our next letter reads, Dear Eddie, I'm having a hard time with my finances right now. Like really, really bad. I have a small apartment in PB and as it is, I can barely afford it. I have a part-time job, but it's just not enough. I heard you guys talking about The Apprentice 2 and it got me to thinking, maybe I can work for you guys. That would be awesome. What do I have to do to sign up? How did last year's person win? That's signed P1 Anonymous in PB. Eddie? Dear Boston Rob, Dude, I already work here. First of all, shouldn't you be screening phone calls or dreaming up a new stunt idea? I mean, what are you doing writing me?
I thought you were doing okay with the Rock 105 paycheck and all the can collecting. Now you're resorting to trying to do The Apprentice again? Seriously, bro. I mean, what you need to do... Oh, wait. This can't be Boston, Rob. They spelled anonymous right. Why don't you just help the guy? All right, all right. You're P1 anonymous. You should absolutely enter The Apprentice 2, but don't do what last year's winner did, okay? He liked show tunes and angered 4th and B, okay? We don't need to insult Levi while we're doing this. He angered our program director and was named after jeans. Okay. Do not, do not go that route, okay? Mr. Jordache. Okay. All right, come on. Okay, do you actually follow Boston Rob's little example? Constantly be a no-show. Speak with a thick Boston accent. And become good friends of ours so we feel really bad for wanting to fire you. And we'll want to. Trust me. P1 Anonymous, good luck growing out your hair and rarely taking a shower. Oh, that was bad today. Yeah. Oh, can you hear that? Coming up, Claremont Mesa Boulevard. Maybe you should open your ears up, Sky.
They are open. I've heard a lot of trash for the last 10 minutes. Then you would hear. Turn your ears down. He's screaming at us. Screaming at us. All right. You would hear the sound of healing. Yeah, you're welcome there, San Diego.