All shows / 28 Hour Show 2005 - Rock 105.3
28 Hour Show - 2005 - Part 34
2005
28 Hour Show 2005 - Rock 105.3KIOZRock 105.3
Willy Wonka commentaryMovie deconstructionDark humorRadio show marathonSpecial effects criticismCharacter mockeryOompa LoompasWonka's inventionsChildren's movie analysisRadio host banterwilly wonkachocolate factory
The Mikey Show hosts provide a chaotic and irreverent running commentary over the movie "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" during their 28-hour marathon. They mock the film's unsettling elements like the "Donkey Show Express" boat ride and Violet Beauregarde's blueberry transformation, often making crude jokes and observations about the characters and plot holes. Hosts like Sean, Mikey, and Gene frequently interject with off-color remarks, political humor, and criticisms of the movie's special effects, particularly during Charlie and Grandpa Joe's wire-assisted fizzy lifting flight. The broadcast captures their reactions to iconic scenes, culminating in Wonka's dramatic "You get nothing! Good day, sir!" speech and Charlie's eventual inheritance of the factory.
What happened, in order
The Donkey Show Express
The hosts introduce the dark and twisted boat ride, setting a tone of irreverent commentary on the movie's opening.
The Acid Trip Boat Ride
The hosts react with shock and dark humor to the infamous, unsettling boat ride scene, comparing it to an acid trip.
Post-Boat Ride Shenanigans
The hosts make crude jokes about how girls get pregnant and connect Slugworth to Nazi imagery after the boat ride.
Everlasting Gobstopper & Fart Machine
Wonka introduces the Everlasting Gobstopper, and the hosts joke about a "fart machine" as a new, less magical invention.
Violet's Blueberry Transformation
The hosts provide running commentary as Violet Beauregarde inflates into a giant blueberry, mocking the scene's absurdity and the Oompa Loompas' reaction.
Licking the Wallpaper & Fizzy Drinks
The hosts comment on the unsanitary and dangerous aspects of the factory, including lead paint and asbestos, before the fizzy lifting drinks scene.
Charlie & Grandpa's Fizzy Lifting Flight
The hosts mock the visible wires and poor special effects as Charlie and Grandpa Joe float around after drinking the fizzy lifting drinks.
The Golden Geese & Veruca's Demands
The hosts react to the golden geese and Veruca Salt's spoiled demands, including the "egg decator" machine.
Veruca's Bad Egg Chute
Veruca Salt throws a tantrum and is deemed a "bad egg," leading to her dramatic descent down the garbage chute.
WonkaVision & Budget Jokes
The hosts introduce the WonkaVision segment, making meta-jokes about the movie's budget and special effects.
You Get Nothing! Good Day, Sir!
The hosts react with strong approval as Willy Wonka angrily dismisses Charlie and Grandpa Joe for breaking the rules, delivering his iconic line.
The Wonkavator & Charlie Wins
Charlie is declared the winner and introduced to the fantastical Wonkavator, which the hosts mock as a "bad prop" and joke about its buttons.
People mentioned
SeanMikeyGeneCharlieGrandpa JoeWilly WonkaViolet BeauregardeVeruca SaltBoston RobEugene LevyDanny PantaroEddieJohnJeff GoldblumSisRobMr. WilderBill Murray
4,010 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
A little gamey. There he is. There he is, Boston Rob. Get out of here. Hey, what kind of place are you running here, anyhow? A whorehouse. What do you think? I'll be colonels. Will you get me a Red Bull or an energy drink? Ah, the scariest little son of a bitch in the whole Wonka land. Ah, the nightmare machine. Oh, the acid trip. Yeah, it's going to take us to see a chicken getting its head cut off. It's going to be awesome. You know, things you expect in a candy shop. Hope you kids are into nightmares. All aboard. All aboard the Donkey Show Express. Ladies and gentlemen, the Donkey Kong 3. I take good care of my guests. Yeah, you took real good care of that August kid over there, that's for sure. You're going to love this. Or not. You're going to love this. If love means hate. In we go, and... Midget's got to do everything, man. I hope they're union. You think they're union? Oh, shut up. Drowner.
Push her off. I think I'm going to be seasick. Push her off, too. Rainbow drops. It's acid. Just put it in your mouth. Oh, that's hot. Look at the girl picking her nose. Cover that in chocolate. Noots. Noots. That oopalooza needs to do that work. That's right. She's been gorging on that chocolate. This is actually happening inside a toilet bowl. Here we go. Here's where it gets a little creepy. Everybody ready for the movie to go drastically wrong? Anyone ready for the, like, movie within the movie? And what's the two... There's some bad red rope licorice going around. Oh, shoot, I forgot you were even on the boat, Charlie. Ah, Godzilla. Okay. Okay, wait, that's a dead body.
Scenes from Texas Chainsaw. Okay, that's not. Don't worry about it. Why? Slugworth. I love this movie. What's it called? Clockwork Orange? Which direction we are going? Why this movie? What this direction? Where we're rowing? Or which way the river's flowing? Is it raining? Is it snowing? Will this movie get some more? Hey, I'm going to eat your liver with a nice Chianti and some Flava beans. Hey, crazy guy. I just want to eat some freaking chocolate. I thought I won a contest. All I wanted was a Kit Kat. Yeah. This is like the freaking Harley days of May.
Someone was penetrated. I don't know what that meant. I don't either. After a ride like that, that's how girls get pregnant. Okay, right. Little halves on the baby. What a nightmare. Daddy, I do not want a boat like this. Okay, get out of here, Madonna. Vanilla cream. Hair cream. My hair shop. Schenken Sie mir Ihre Aufmerksamkeit. Ah, so he's Nazi. Die Hitler. Oh. Bring out the gift. Old Slugworth would give his false teeth. This is where Menon's speed stick came from. So don't touch a thing. Yeah, really, what notes is he taking right now? Sound of a dog panting.
I'm taking it the Oompa Loompas are educated? You're taking it wrong. Well, dude, that's a pretty sweet meth lab. Alright, serve them some liquor. electricity 4% evaporation and 2% butterscotch ripple that's 105% any good that's funny good night everybody time is a precious thing never wasted absolutely bonkers In springtime, the only... Hey, what are you doing, man? Yeah. It's not very sanitary, dude. Lovers love the springtime. Oh, oh, oh. That is. I told you not to sleep, boy. Boy, that's great stuff. That's floating candy. Great idea, isn't it? Not ready yet, though. Still too weak. Needs more jelly. There you go, Sean. Get it?
Wonka, what's a scotch? What's a gin? Got something going on the side of it. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Ah, you drunk. That's ridiculous. It's for the kids. Too hot, Mr. Wonka? Too cold. Far too cold. Put a coat in there. Get it? Cold. No, don't. Fine. Forgive me, but no one must look under there. Is that Eugene Levy? Yeah. This is the one that's really going to sizzle old slugglers. What's it do? What makes cocaine? It's a new thing on the market called crack. Person's legs. I won't tell you what that is. Let's just say we're excited about it.
What's that? It's a Rubik's Cube, Mikey. It's from the 80s. You turn it around and you try to notch it. Ah, forget it. That's right. I want an everlasting gobstucker. Me too. Well, will you settle for a poke in the eyes? Nah. Just received that clip. A few more tests. How do you make up? I'm a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time. Who wants an everlasting gobstopper? Me! I can only give them to you if you solemnly swear to keep them for yourselves and never show them to another living soul as long as you all shall live. Agreed? Agreed. Dirty little monsters. One for you, and one for you. What about Charlie? He's an idiot. Who's that? Everybody has had one, and one is enough. Don't call her a breast. Now, come along. Now, over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you. Oh, it's special, all right. I only hope my Veruca doesn't want one. What a scrumptious. Isn't she scrumptious? She's my revolutionary, non-pollutionary mechanical wonder. Now, button, button, who's got the button? It's over there. Nice. Great, the fart machine.
There you go, sweetie. Are they making cancer juice? No, okay. Does he have to look insane in every shot? I love crack. Oh, great, that's a nothing. What is that? Oh, the fart machine. Don't you know what this is? It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world. He's using the gayest words he has in his arsenal. Yeah, fabulous. It's like getting punched in the face. Whoa. Whoa.
How many times have you heard that? That kid is ugly as soon. That's hilarious. I love Eugene Levy. Uh oh. She's choking on it. Can somebody help? There you go. Wow. I told you I hadn't got it quite right yet. You can say that again. Look what it's done to my kid. Always goes wrong when we come to the dessert. Always. Violet, what are you doing now? You're blowing up. I'm not surprised. You're blowing up like a balloon. Like a blueberry. Somebody do something. Call a doctor. A snozzberry. It happens every time. They all become blueberries. You've really done it this time, haven't you, Wonka? I'll break you for this. Oh, well, I'll get it right now. Who? Yes. There we go. That's juice. Juice? Would you roll the young lady down to the juicing room at once, please? If you're just tuning in, we're listening to and watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory here on the 28-hour show. A fairly simple operation. Ah, down, like, low-key Oompa Loompa song. Yeah. Checking out her ass. Oh, dude, look at those moves.
Turn her on her side. There you go. There you go. Oh, there she is. Roll her on out. What the hell are you talking about? Interesting hairstyle. Interesting what it is. That was in back then. Huh. I like the reservoir tip on their pants. Exactly. That's so weird. Where is fancy bread? In the heart or in the head? Shush. Okay. Anyway. Well, I'm going to go ahead and go this way. Holy fat. Well, well, well. Two naughty and nasty little children gone. Three good, sweet little children left. Oh, well, wasn't that... Man, um... All right, can we just go? What exactly did I sign? Oh, here's an interesting thing for kids to do. Lick the wall. Go for it, Sean. Uh, no. Lick a pineapple. It tastes like a pineapple. Go ahead, try it.
I'd rather not. Stupid. May I remind you, this was the lead paint era. Um, who's licking that banana? The asbestos tastes like asbestos. Apparently, we are the LSD users. Yeah. Something very unusual in here. Shouldn't we have cut that scene? Bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Yet. What's it making, Mr. Wonka? Heroin. Bubbles, you idiot. Is this where Charlie and Grandpa have to fart to get down from the ceiling? Well, they're not farting. If I remember correctly, they have to fart to get down from the ceiling. Well, that's incorrect. Keep going, Charlie. All right. Keep pumping them out. Not so much. Keep pushing, Charlie.
Don't hurt us. Whoops. If you touch cloth, you know you're working it. Ew, okay. Not bad. All right, Jack Daniels. What's happening? Oh, wait a minute, Grandpa. I can't understand. What? That's happening now. Oh, you're flying, Grandpa. Hey, Grandpa, why is there a wire sticking out of your back? Yeah. Let me get this straight. You drink this and then you get lifted by wires? Uh-huh. Weird. That's really not what I was expecting, Gramps. Hey, Grandpa, check it out. You drink this stuff and suddenly bad special effects show up. Why are you moving your arms? You are hooked up to a wire. Yeah. I can see it. Hey, Grandpa, look. Piano wire. There is no place I know that has such bad special effects. All right. Whoa! I'm a gay kid. Danny Pantaro. I feel light as a feather. Yeah, that's really disorienting, Grandpa. Great, thanks. Couldn't Grandpa, like, knock it out of bed just a day ago? No kidding. And now he's flying, doing flips and stuff. That's difficult when you're hooked up to wires. Didn't you have bed sores and you were atrophied a couple days ago? And you had S all over your nightgown? Why not?
That's where it gets scary, guys. I'm a plane. I'm screwed. You know, those are chopper blades up there. Yeah. Keep going. Maybe you should have thought of that a while ago, huh, guys? Quick, Charlie, start pooing. Wait. Well, you've got to make yourself lighter. Please turn off the van. Oh, oh. Quick, Charlie. I don't know how. It's the only way. Yeah, yeah, a little feminine burps, just like that, Charlie. Burp, burp, burp, burp. Monka's got to sterilize the ceiling. Would have been much better if they got decapitated and the Oompa Loompas had to come out and sweep it up. I agree, I agree. Those are not masculine burps. Is that on the deleted scenes? I haven't watched the extras on this. I know what you're thinking. They can't be doing what they're doing, but they are. They have to.
I haven't met the Oompa Loompa yet. Who could do it? These are the geese that lay the golden eggs. Oh, my God. As you can see, they're larger than ordinary geese. As a matter of fact, they're quadruple-sized geese, which produce octuple-sized eggs. Octuple? Yep. But Easter's over. They don't miss. Smother them. Put them out. What happens if they drop one of them? Sean's favorite scene in the movie. Fit for a king, sir. Are they chocolate eggs? Golden chocolate. It's a great duck, you see. But I wouldn't get too close. The geese are very temperamental. That's why we have the egg decator. Egg to what? The egg decator. Hey, Veruca. You want to see a chocolate sock in the gut? If it's a good egg, it's shined up and shipped out all over the world. But if it's a bad... Bam, bam. There you go. Oh, how ironic. Yeah.
Apparently they hooked a Model T horn up to it. What the hell? What are you talking about? I don't understand. Man. Psycho. Daddy will get you a golden goose as soon as we get home. No. Bunker, you're a total bitch. You can't have one. I can't. No. Here we go. All right. Gooses. Slapping me on the face, just like my nieces. What she looks like now. She grew up to be Kathie Lee Gifford. Oh, that's not good. In that case, yeah. A bean feast? Just come over to my house. This is the toughest part of the 28-hour show for me.
Oh, yeah. I'm tired. I'm going to splash some water. I'll be back. I love your band. Bring it back down, sweetie. Oh, I lost it for a second. Yeah. She just went court in love. She's working at chess, too. Hey, Sean. I don't get the things I am after. You've been real. Don't you do it, you stupid. I hate you. Oh, no. What are you doing? Knock it off. Oh, you. Oh, taking on the Umba. There's a seizure going on here. Oh, the wall of boxes. Why do they have those boxes? So she can knock them down. Oh, don't go up there. Why, Scott? It's bad news, dude. Well, only if she's a bad egg. Oh, I get it.
Oh, dang it. That's crazy. The irony. Well, that's not really irony. Oh. What? It's just unfortunate, really. Where's she going? Where are all the other bad things going? Down the garbage chute. I wonder what would have the sky got on that scale. Well, Sean. Oh, yeah, right. Shine her up. Put her in a box. Thank God. He's six feet under. Whatever. Or Beating Town. Doofus. Later, Daddy-o. Doofus McFly. See ya. You know, a lot of these people aren't making any sense, Sean. Have you noticed that? Is it just me? I mean, was it that I was a little kid when I saw this last time? I mean, it's like just random dialogue. Oh, look at these guys. Do I have to? They've got a whole little routine going. Oh. See that one with multiple chins? Yeah. That sucks. You're talking in the upper left-handed corner. Whoa.
Okay, this is when I'm really... Am I high? Like, what's going on right now? What are you talking about? Everything's totally normal. Damn it. I'm losing it, kids. That's cool. Oh, yeah. Blame the father. This was half the budget of the movie right here. Wow. You two should be embarrassed. I hope your midget friends kicked your ass. Where are the Oompa Loompas now? Yes, no question. Like they were just getting over the Wizard of Oz. And then this crap. Thanks. They put them right back on the yellow brick road. Thank goodness for Wee Wee Man to bring him back up to prominence. Wee Wee. Wee Wee Man. Better grab a seat. They're going fast. Mr. Walker, what's that they're filling it up with? Oh, ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer. Urine. Double bubble burpacola and all the crazy carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize what tremendous power there is in one of those things. Sorry, I asked.
I don't speak English, Grandpa. Just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Sean? Sean's freaking out. Sean is shaking his head to try to stay awake. Charlie has got more gas in it than a politician. Political humor. More gas in it than a dirty Mexican anyway. Kids love political humor. That's right. They loved that. How you doing, little girl? All right. That was my interview. Oh, that's not good. That was Eddie right after Lord of the Rings. What? Didn't you have to go drop some chocolate bars? Well, that's not chocolate. That was me after prom night. Hello. Papa Burgundy.
Right there. Oh, yeah. She was doing that, too. Okay. Go on. Ah, the brilliance of movie making. Yep. Awful. Oh, they do it. Wow. That's an amazing machine right there. That shot alone cost them 500 bucks. Is that Japanese? No, that's Wonka Wash spelled backwards. That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The journey is over. Finest path I've had in 20 years. Let's do it again. Mr. Wonka. Hit it. The Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is brought to you by KSWB Channel 569. Tune in Thursday night for Smallville at 8 o'clock. Official home of the Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is KIOZ San Diego's Rock. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. I'd be getting up in an hour. Seriously. I'm getting up in a half hour, dude. None of those kids realized they were just riding on a German Panzer. I don't know what that is, but I'm sure it's funny. It's a type of pancake. Oh, okay, cool. Nazis used to drive them. Love those suits.
Oh, man, that one is fat. Look at that. It's the hottest one. It is the hot one. We can't hear you. Can you talk to the mic, Gene? Gene, Gene, we're over here. Great sound mixing. Camera, action! Where'd it go? Up in the, I guess, little Oreo bits flying across the sky. There you go. Little Skittles. Oh, there it is. All right, come on with a sound effect. Cheaters always make that noise. There it is. R2 Wonka. Did he just type in the numbers, dude? Oh, he totally did. What? See, he's Jinx. He's going to have that hair the rest of his life. Amazing effects. Amazing effects. It's perfect. It's unbelievable. It's a lyrical. It's a TV dinner. It's WonkaVision. It could change the world. Mr. Wonka, can you send other kids? They're like human sperm.
Mr. Wonka, why do you have Asian goggles? Because me's so hungry. Do it. Yes. Don't come back. Nice. Little Eddie line. Where are you? Oh, there he is. Skittles. Skittle boy. Watch the scene. I'm going to throw a rock in there. See what happened? You know what I'm talking about, John? A little fly action. You know what I'm talking about? I'm Jeff Goldblum. What's up? Here he comes. Group is getting smaller by the minute. All right, stop waving your arms around like that. Wow, can we get a second take on that? That was really bad acting. Thank you, Sis. Great job. Bye.
Way to go the extra mile. Sean! Sean! So rude. Sissy's hot. She can do whatever she wants. You're right about that. Oh, like that could really happen, Skye. What? The taffy pulling room. Come on. And now my dearest lady. Ah, roofies are kicking in. Can you pick your mic up? That's cool, dude. Lying in between your boobs. It's cool. You're going to get a mic necklace here in a second. She's just having something that size right there. Look at that. Adieu. Adieu. So dumb. To you. Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to the 28-Hour Show. The Mikey Show has been on since 6 o'clock on Wednesday morning. In three hours, it will be 24 hours. We've been 21 hours on the air. Oh, we're dancing again and singing. All right, here we go. Okay, Rob, you don't need to sing along. Oh, yeah, do a handstand. Whoa. Hey. Close. Awkward. So hot. Hey. Wait a second. Wait a second. This is suddenly digressed. Looks like my Aunt Carmen. Hey.
Oh, we're kidding. Get dizzy. They look like little Hershey's Kisses. Squat and let it dangle. All right. Come on. Oh, gross. Whoa. Hey. This is, I mean, come on. This is a kid movie? It's an Oompa 9. This is the worst cartwheel ever. What the hell? It's a 60 Oompa. Oh, my God. I must answer that note from the Queen. From what? The Queen? Freddie Mercury, apparently, wrote a letter. Yeah, nice 70s room. Where's Greg Brady? Yeah, what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Did Charlie have his hair highlighted in the last 20 minutes? Excuse me for not showing you out. Straight up the stairs, you'll find the way. I'm terribly busy, whole day wasted. Goodbye to you both. Goodbye. Well, aren't you a jerk? Yeah. Thanks for crushing my dreams. Well, it's Charlie. Why would you want to spend any more time with that loser? What happened? I'm going to find out. Oh, Grandpa ain't taking it. Grandpa's pissed. He can barely walk. What's he going to do? Interesting room. Feels like my brain. Mr. Wonka, I am extraordinarily busy. Sorry, Mr. Wilder. Mr. Purple Vest. Mr. Chip and Vest. Where does he get it? He doesn't. Why not? Because he broke the rules. What rules? We didn't see any rules, didn't we, Charlie? Wrong, sir. Wrong. Under Section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if... This is where the air really goes bad. I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses, hearing and hearing contained, etc., etc. Facts, mentis, incendium, gloria, compliments, etc., etc. Hair growing out of side of head, etc., etc.
white, clear as crystal. You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized. You get nothing. Oh, damn. Good day, sir. Yes. Yes. Get out of here, you old bastard. Get out of here. Lay down the law. Nobody wants to see your old ass. Take a bath. He said good day, sir. Whoa, look at that hair. Wow. That's Bill Murray and Kingpin. If I had scissors. Oh, St. Charlie, though, wait a second. Wait, Charlie, do something nice. With your gay turtleneck. Mr. Wonka, you can't see my hickeys, right? Bill still likes me. Mr. Wonka? Loved you in Silver Streak. Peace out. Here we go. Okay, he's writing a Martha Stewart princess letter. Okay, sorry. It was stir-crazy I loved you in. You won! You did it! You did it! I knew you won! Okay. Oh, here we go. Again. The hair. Okay, look at the hair. Look at the hair. Look at the hair. No, that's slug work. You know, it's amazing what Gene was able to do with a curling iron. Jeez.
And you passed the test. You won! What? The jackpot, my dear sir. The grand and glorious jackpot. What, the pizza? Yes, the chocolate, but that's just the beginning. Suits. Oh. New suits, huh? This way, please. We'll take the Wonka later. Get up in, Charlie. Grandpa Jones, sir. When you go in, you don't come out. You mean this really bad prop? Okay. Oh, you mean this cardboard prop? Yeah. This is the great glass Wonkivator. It's an elevator. It's a Wonkivator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkivator can go sideways and slant ways. And snozz ways. And byways. Oh, oh. Three ways. Just press the button. You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them off. This one. That's the one that starts a war with Russia. Do it.
Commie bastards. Oh, way to go, Charlie. Yeah, great. Uh-oh. Bye-bye, Fallujah. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. They're faster. I am. It's called the China Syndrome. Nuclear meltdown. Reactors. Charlie vomits everywhere. Awful. Great special effect. Wow. Wow, that looks real. I think that really happened. I did too. This is a documentary, right? Obviously. Okay, wait a second. I see fishing line. Wow. Even though it's not real. Grandpa, our town looks like miniatures. See that piece of crap house right there? That's ours, Charlie. See that government subsidized housing?
That's where we live, Charlie. How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie? It was all right. I liked it about as much as your hairspray. I'm very pleased to hear you say that because I'm giving it to you. Because I'm suing you. That's all right, isn't it? You're kidding, Charlie? I can't go on forever. I've filed for bankruptcy. Charlie, have you ever heard of Chapter 11? Growing up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. And now I'm going to jump out of this. Oh, okay. We know what those are. Yeah, I'm not sucking anything, buddy. Absolutely. We're burning it to the ground, Charlie. The rest of your family doesn't get to come. It's called arson, Charlie.
He got cancer. Give me a hug. Hey, hey, that.