All shows / 28 Hour Show 2006 - Rock 105.3
28 Hour Show - 2006 - Hour 17
2006
28 Hour Show 2006 - Rock 105.3KIOZRock 105.3
Lost TV show commentaryRadio show staff interactionsOn air debatesListener engagementControversial humorPop culture analysisLost character storylinesRadio marathonFood discussionsStereotypeslost tv showon air debate
This broadcast captures a lively, often contentious, commentary by the radio hosts, including Tortilla, Sean, Skye, Eddie, Jay, Chase, and Trevor, as they watch and react to an episode of the TV show *Lost* during a '28-hour Mikey Marathon.' The show opens with controversial, racially charged banter and discussions about 'Dr. Patricia Chantel.' Much of the airtime is dedicated to a spirited, sometimes crude, analysis of *Lost* plot points, such as the identity of Ethan, Kate's character being mistaken for Monica, Ben's surgery, and the highly debated 'bone smooch' scene between Kate and Sawyer. Interspersed are staff antics, listener call-ins, and a heated debate over the merits of Wendy's square hamburgers.
What happened, in order
Opening Banter & Accusations
The hosts, including Tortilla, engage in controversial banter, making racially charged jokes and discussing 'Dr. Patricia Chantel' and 'The Tyrone and Tortilla Show'.
Lost Character Debate: Ethan
The hosts argue intensely about whether a character on *Lost* is Ethan, with Jay and others disagreeing, while also commenting on Kate's attractiveness.
Staff Antics & Lost Distractions
Trevor is criticized for a prank idea involving bourbon, and staff members like Sean and Skye are more focused on watching *Lost* than participating in the show.
Kate's Identity & Sawyer's Nicknames
The hosts comment on Kate's appearance, mistakenly calling her Monica, and discuss Sawyer's nicknames for her like 'Freckles' and her real-life boyfriend.
Lost Plot Twist: Slingshot Attack
The hosts react to a scene where a character is attacked with a slingshot, identifying the attacker as Alex (Rousseau's daughter) and discussing Sawyer's potential death.
Movie Night Announcement: Star Trek II
The hosts announce an upcoming movie night where they will watch and mock *Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan*, joking about Sean's 'Trek pajamas'.
Lost Plot: Ben's Surgery & Motivations
The hosts analyze the *Lost* plot, where Kate is used to motivate Jack to perform surgery on Ben to save Sawyer, with Skye making a 'genius' observation.
Wendy's Square Burger Debate
A heated, juvenile debate erupts among the staff about the merits and appearance of Wendy's square hamburger patties, with Eddie requesting pizza.
Lost Plot: Sawyer's Escape & Kiss
The hosts react to Sawyer's attempt to escape and his subsequent passionate kiss with Kate in the cage, despite their dire situation on a separate island.
The 'Bone Smooch' Controversy
A prolonged and often crude discussion ensues about the realism and appropriateness of Kate and Sawyer's 'bone smooch' in their captivity, calling it a 'shark jumping' moment.
Post-Lost Discussion & Stereotypes
The hosts continue to debate the Kate/Sawyer scene, with Eddie defending it as realistic, leading to jokes and stereotypes about 'straights' vs. 'homos'.
Kate's Backstory & Drugging Jack
The hosts discuss a *Lost* flashback revealing Kate's past as a fugitive and her act of drugging Jack, questioning why she is a liked character.
People mentioned
TortillaPatricia ChantelMikeyKateEthanJayBenJackKevin SpaceyTrevorAshleyRobSeanSkyeEddieMonicaSawyerJohnAlexChaseBobby KernelP1 JeremiahBig Al KahunaQuimbyTaye DiggsJuliet
7,063 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Negro up real good, too, don't you, Officer Hate? Oh, my gosh. You two are just awful. What is this? The Tyrone and Tortilla Show. Dr. Chantel. No, no, no, no, Tortilla. Professor? Her name is Patricia Chantel. Professor Chantel. No, yeah, no, Chantel. Go ahead, Tortilla. I hear the first thing Martha did when she got home. was to go through her maid's dresser to make sure she didn't take any of her jewelry. Is that true? My word, is that true? I hear a lot of stuff on the street. Tell us, Dr. Chintel. I've never heard anything like that before, no. You're a liar and a racist. You should put it in the book. In the book that you're writing. There you go. Forward by Tartia. That's right. Hey, Patricia Chintel? Yes? What is a... Unauthorized biography. You're listening to the 28-hour Mikey Marathon. Brought to you by Fox 6 News. On KIOZ, San Diego's rock station. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 9 p.m. and 10 p.m. All right, welcome, ladies and gentlemen. We are watching Lost in our conference room right now. You can watch with us. Please open the door.
I don't think I should. It's on ABC right now. How hot Kate is. Do we recognize him? Yeah! That's Ethan! That's Ethan from the island. Hell yeah. That is. It's Ethan. Isn't that the guy that said his name was Ethan? No, dude. That's the guy from Firefly, dude. Give me a break. That was Ethan, wasn't it, Jay? 100% not. It was not, you guys. Do you so? Yeah, and Kate wouldn't have recognized Ethan. It's not Ethan. It's like goofballs. That was Ethan. I thought you had to pull the lever. I know how to get a damn fish bag. That's not a lever. Get me one. What, you trying to keep me feeling productive? If by productive, you mean horny? Yes. No, he means a productive cough. It's not a tuba. Ah, Ben.
Nice Chess King shirt. You took these blood tests, made all the notations? How were the x-rays? The blonde woman is very pretty. Very pretty. The tumor on your spine is borderline inoperable. And at the rate it's growing, that borderline goes away in about one week. But it's inoperable. Oh. I don't know, but borderline is a great song. The OR we were in, is that fully equipped? Yes. Anesthesia? Sterile? Yes. How long have they been on the island at this point? You need to be in surgery yesterday. Three seasons. What is that equal? 39 days, something like that? All right, then. Whatever you need, it's yours. I'm ready. No, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't say I was going to do it. I just wanted you to understand how you're going to die. You think I believe you people? You think I trust you that I'm going to just do the surgery and hope that you let me go?
Jack. Emmy clip. Well, Jack, very disappointed in your decision. Disappointed in your bad Kevin Spacey imitation. Oh, man. At least you won't have to be disappointed for very long. Over your face and... Face all over your bug eyes. Oh, man. And loss. And talk about it. Discuss. What you guys think of guys today. Lost on ABC. Brought to you by a whole new species. The all new Jeep Wrangler Unlimited. Don't back talk us. Just do it. Thank you. Oh no. Is he going to be like lippy engineer? No. He's a smart ass. We all know it. Oh no. Oh no. We're all friends here. We're a little testy right now. Don't push our buttons. Hey, do you think that Trevor and Ashley will get into a fist fight before the night is over? That'd be cool.
I see why she yelled at him. That's great to bring to an alcoholic. To a recovering alcoholic's 28-hour show. Perfect. Great job, Trevor. Really great. Well, what I thought I would do is I thought that I would mock Mikey with a can of bourbon. And a brand-new camera. Ha-ha, Ashley. In your face. Rob, can you check what's going on here? Rob, go address that. Yeah, Rob, can you figure out why people are walking into the station? I think it's weird that nobody's brought pizza yet. Sean, talk about it. Pepperoni pizza, no less. From pizza port. That's so weird to me. Anyway, Skye, what you got? I'm just waiting for Lost to start back up. You're not going to talk at all, are you? No, dude, I'm watching the show. It's so funny. As the show was starting, Skye was like, shh, shh.
Hey, we are supposed to talk during this. No, we're not. We're actually working and doing a show right now. We don't just get to watch TV. You can talk during commercials. That's brutal. It's very nice of whoever just brought donuts. It's very nice. Wow. Why did you put one in Mike's mouth? I think he's an adult. I think he can beat himself. That's not the point, Skye. It is testing to see if it's poisonous. Oh, well, that's what a good friend does. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is that pizza? Damn it. So can we discuss Lost? Can somebody bring Eddie a pepperoni pizza from Roundtable? Please. Can we discuss Lost? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Talk about Ethan showing up at Kate's door. Dude, I don't think that was Ethan because Kate... There's Rolos here. I am 1000% positive that was not Ethan. Yeah, because Kate knew...
That was Ethan. Dude, Kate. Didn't that look like it was Ethan? Kate hung out with Ethan on the island, so she wouldn't have recognized him on the island. Something is going on. Some kind of shenanigans. You guys are pulling in. Things happen. What's happening? Dude, I would have remembered if the dude from Firefox showed up on Lost. Thank you. Why is the audio back on? I don't know. This isn't Lost yet. He's very excited. What? Featuring sneak peeks from the February premiere of Lost each and every week. It all starts in the Daybreak two-hour series premiere next Wednesday, 9, 8 central. Hey, does Ashley watch Lost? Oh, here we go. You shouldn't have come here. That's Ethan. Not Ethan. 100%. Yeah, you're right. That's Ethan. I've made a huge mistake. I'm just full of regret right now. She has a ring on. She has a ring on her left finger. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. What? See? It's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding. Or a guy in a dress before a wedding. That's true. Opposites. That's actually cool. Have you tried it on? Eddie's down. Hold my breath to get the claspy things to clasp. I'm waiting until the absolute last minute. It's in about 12 hours. You might want to get clasped. That's Ethan. Eddie, grow up, dude. Oh, my God. He just pooed it. That's Ethan, you guys. Jay, that's Ethan. Mike, stop saying that, dude. It's really not him. I'm telling you.
It's been fast. This is right. Sean's right. It's the guy from Firefly. We wouldn't recommend him. How gorgeous does Kate look? I love you, Monica. Monica? He called her Monica? He just called Kate Monica? Yep. Wow. How's that hobbit that she's dating in real life feel about that? Come on. Time for work. He's been digging up the rocks and stuff like that. What about him? He's got the day off. Well, if he's not working, neither am I. Oh, you're not, huh? Just go, Freckles. Man wants to give me a day off. Let him give me a day off. Just go, dirty face. No, Sawyer. We're a team. Just go, sneaky pits. You break the rocks, I haul him. All right. She's just got his ass kicked. Right. Can you stop getting Sawyer's butt kicked for once in your life? Way to go, Kate. Good job, Monica. Lord knows I wouldn't want to break up the team. Haven't you put me through enough fart face? Let go.
You're dead, brother. That was a spot-on impression. That was great, dude. It was really good. A really good design. You're dead, brother. You guys hear it that time? What happened to him? Hey, by the way, who's the blonde model that was apparently in the other end of the plane? We're going to bury him here. Are we? The people back at camp, there have just been a few too many funerals lately. Nobody needs to see them like this. I'll slip back to the beach and get a couple shovels. I'll come with you. I'll be back in an hour. It's not safe to go alone, John. I appreciate your concern. Wow, they're really becoming lovers. Did John just say jihad? Yes, I did. Because the guy's from Iraq? He's an Iraqi Republican guard. Folks back at the beach call it the monster. They probably did a lot. I don't really have a name for it. The green monster. I believe in what I can see.
But obviously you have. So why don't you tell me what you think it is? Might be what brought us here. So you believe that this monster decided that Echo was meant to die? I believe Echo died for a reason. I just don't know what it is yet. Yeah, and it wasn't Saddam Hussein. Is that why you lied? America. F yeah. Sure we are. Just need to take a little detour first. Yes, Kate. Oh, damn you. Damn you. Oh, hell no. Stop it. It looks so hot. Hey, guys. Where is she? What's going on? What's going on? Yeah, they're here. Does doctor get out again? You sure? Does he know? How the hell did she get over here? Bruce? Whoa.
Attacked by slingshot. Slingshot! What the hell do you think you're doing? What, are you going to shoot me? Who attacks with a slingshot? They got guns. I want to talk to Ben. That sounds like a great idea. So why don't we just lower our little slingshot? Put the slingshot down, Bart Simpson. Get her out of here. Get her out of here! Listen, whatever they say, don't believe them. They're going to kill your boyfriend. Why should I believe you? Just like they killed Mott. What the hell? If they killed Sawyer, everybody stopped watching the show. Right. That was crazy. I don't understand what just happened. Eddie, explain what's going on. Wicket from Endor showed up. Come on, that's ridiculous. Oh, man, that is brilliant. Nicely done. Thank you. So what's happening here? Was that the French lady's kid, do we think? Okay. Oh, that was Alex. Yes. That was Alex. That young girl was Alex. I think so. Rousseau's daughter. All right. And we know from previous episodes that she's not too hip on whatever the others are doing. Previously on Lost. Yeah, she's let go a couple of them, like Claire. Right. She's helped her. So she's saying that they're going to kill Sawyer. I don't want that to be true.
because I love Sawyer. They're not going to kill Sawyer. They can't, Mike. I think they're all in limbo. Does he look like Kid Rock at all to anybody else? Who, Sawyer? Yeah, he does. Like Kid Rock's older, ugly brother or something? Ugly? You mean Kid Rock's older, hotter brother. Thank you, Mike. Chase, that had to offend you, right? Yeah, punch him in the face, Chase. He's like, guys, I'm dreaming of Carson Land right now. Chase just said Boone was hotter. Little Boone Poon. What? That's what we call it in our community, right, Chase? You know it. You know it, sister. This is getting pretty crazy now. What are you even looking at me for? Like, what am I going to add to that? Eddie, stop it. Stop trying to baby feed me Gatorade. Man, I wish I had your seat, Mike. Oh, my God. Wow. Crazy. That's crazy, because I wish I had your seat. Nah. Ridiculous. What time is it? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? I'm just glad to be speaking English again. Oh, yeah. That's real. Oh, gosh, Guy. We almost forgot. I hated that. You were here. Tay, boy, ah. No, no, no. Why would you say that? Because you took it out of context. Oh, how did you mean it? I meant it in an English way. Oh. So it's exactly the same as the first time you said it. Oh, Sawyer. It's still a commercial, dude. Ah, misdirection.
No, it's a Ford commercial right there. It's truck month. That's what I meant. Yeah, bold outperforms. I've heard that. What are you doing, Rob? Rob, why are you getting all up in my grill? Volumized. First movie we're doing tonight is at 10 o'clock after Lost, the movie that we're going to do. We're going to make fun of the movie. We will do a countdown with you. We'll say, the way that we do is we go one, two, three, play. And you hit the play button on your DVD. What movie are we doing? Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan. Sean, are you going to change in your Trek pajamas for this one? You know, are you going to put your little Trek ears on? I don't know. Are you going to change in your a-hole pajamas? Oh, wait. You're already wearing them. Audio! Audio! Poor Trevor. Poor Trevor. Why don't you just make a run for it, man? Where are they going to go? Probably slow. Stupid.
Calm. It's unnerving. Yeah, it's real creepy. He's the real leader. I would like for you to put this on. Really? That's great. No, I'm not. Okay, what about that? You think I'm going to put a hood over my head because you said please? No, I think you're going to put a hood over your head because you're racist. There's a man standing behind me. The one who's burning a hole in my back. That man is going to kill Sawyer. She's one hot little concentration camper, though, huh? And you come with me. There's something you can do for us that will save his life. What? Lay eggs? Oh, dude, I get what they're doing. What does that mean? They're using Sawyer to make Kate force Jack to do the surgery. Perform the surgery. Yeah. So Kate's motivation is Sawyer not getting killed. Jack's motivation is Kate not getting killed. Sky, you're a genius. I know. An evil genius. She's very pretty. Gorgeous. Oh, look at that. That's Kate. Whammy, wowie, zowie. Come in. Who are you? Oh, sweetheart. You're beautiful.
In the face, she kind of looks like Joanie from Happy Days. Absolutely beautiful. How is it out there? There are a lot of excited policemen. Don't worry, I've asked them not to shoot their guns in the air when you say I do. Another sexual reference. And we know what guns are. You know, mothers-in-laws aren't supposed to be so nice. Monica, I have something for you. It's Chachi's Merit Bash. My mother gave that to me on my wedding day. She told me someday I'd give it to my daughter. Since I had four boys. Blingshot. Socks04. You know, Kevin's been coming to the church here since he was about yay high. Married. When I first met you, Monica, I was struck by your honesty. Look, guys, it's Ethan. How dumb is that now? When I asked him what he loved most about you, he said, there's what you see. He wouldn't recognize her husband. Something was going on. Shut the rings. God. Vowed your vows. Thank you.
Thank you. And George Steinbrenner is marrying them for some weird reason. Real shade is going on. She's not Monica. She's got the hood on. Backstage at Disneyland. That's the inside of the Matterhorn. They're downstairs at my house. Who? Oh, okay. Jack does not. He's all, oh, her? I don't even care about her. Respect that Mexican chick. Jack, she doesn't love you, bro. But we know you love her. We could see in your face how you feel about her. Guess what? She's only doing this for her lover. So yeah. She's all, sorry, I don't feel the same way. I think we should just be friends. I'll give you two some privacy. Why? What do they need that for? Because there's cameras in there anyway. Liar. He's all, hey, so do you still not love me? You're okay. You? You want to play Scrabble? I'm great.
Want to not kiss? Outside. In a cage. We can't hear you, Chase. You need a microphone. We need microphones. He's in a cage, too. They're making us work. Swing a cat in there and hit a microphone. I don't know what it is, but it's big. Hey! Are we talking about Sawyer again? We're hauling rocks. Hey. Did they hurt you? Oh, boy. I'm so over Jack, man. I am over Jack. over it. He loves her. Hey, it's going to be all right. Hey, I wish you had Teebo. I want to pause this. Do you guys feel for him right now? You have to. You do. Emotionally because of what he feels for her. The thing that they told you to do with his operation, she said that if you do it, then that they would. What did they do to you? What did they do to you? Nothing. How did they get you to ask me? What did they offer you? Nothing. Then what are you doing here? That's what this is about.
Now it's gone. That's what this is about. Don't do it, Jack. Let him die. That's what this is about. Take it in. I'm so sorry, but she said that if you do it, and if you do it soon, then let us go. I don't care. I just want to save Sawyer. I have to. See, because I care about Sawyer. Man, this is brutal. Jack. We're done here. Oh. Oh, Jack. Hey. Uh-oh. We're done in here. Well, you've been done a while, Jack. I'm sorry. Get her out of there. He is so spacey, dude. That was creepy. What does it mean? What does it all mean? What is it? Um, exactly what we thought. Yeah. They're using them. They're playing them against each other to get what they want. He's pissed off that it didn't work. And do we really believe that the cue card lady, Juliet, is that her name? Do we really believe that Juliet is like...
truly planning some sort of takeover thing? Or is Ben in on her and the cue cards and he knows about everything? I don't know about that because if she's telling Jack to jack up the surgery... Right, to basically kill him in the surgery. Then, like, what's the point of that? Right, because Jack would do it and then she'd be... Right? Unless that's part of the grand scheme. But I'm wondering what... Because, you know, the flashbacks always correlate to the storyline. So I'm wondering, you know, what... shadiness went on with Kate and that wedding to make it correlate to the Jack Sawyer thing. What's correlate? Hey, Ashley's not even here. You can't mock her when she's not here. Yeah, where's the pizza? That is a great question. Ashley's getting the pizza. Ashley is doing some behind-the-scenes work. Pizza. In other words, she's going poo. A.K.A. dropping a deuce. You guys are lame. You're lame. Well, that's true. I hate these K commercials. Hey, Brett Favre. Hey. Hey, looky there. Victor Rolo wants him on his fantasy team. That's right. I'm talking about Rolo. Yeah. You know it. So are we having a bunch of people show up for the movies? Ah, there was a bunch of people on the list. I got a list. So we'll see. Need a velvet rope out there. That is a disgusting sandwich. I'm sorry.
Wendy's. Wendy's. Oh, get out of here. What are you thinking? Are you kidding? Oh, oh. That looks so gross. Cheese. That really does look gross, man. Bacon. Yeah. Like that cheese is like a nacho cheese. I love pepper jack. What's wrong with nacho cheese? In a burger, dude? Ew, and jalapenos. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Dude, you know what? It looks like somebody got sick and that's what came out. And I'm against any hamburger patty that's shaped in a square. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Now you're being in there. What? That ain't cool. Shut up. Shut your gutter mouth. You shut your gutter mouth. Thank you, Chase. Chase gets it. They're square. They're not supposed to be square. You're a butthole. I don't even know how to respond. I mean, it's so juvenile.
I don't even know what to say. Let me clarify. Go ahead. You're a butthole. I am not. That's not true. I'm a human being. I just clarified it. I'm a human being. Barely. Hey, someone get him a pizza so he can shove it in his mouth and shut it. Eddie wants a pepperoni pizza. Please. I'm starving. What is up with this show? You'd think that if Russell cared about you, he'd get you one. Dude, what a ripoff of deal and no deal. And Shatner's got dancing chicks. What's that? It's Shatner. Give him a break. Shat-rageous. Somebody ate Shatner. Aw. I think Shatner ate Shatner. I haven't taken Shatner. Double Shatner with cheese. Oh, look at Wendy. Speaking of Shatner. No. I can't wait. In less than an hour. Here we go. Audio. It's back. It's back. That's your last one. No. Stop it. Stop it. We're friends. Kate looks so good. She looks great. Hey, you. It must work out. It's taco night. You want to make me tacos? Yes. That's not what I meant. And you better like them. Or what? Or no dessert. Oh, yeah. Ouch. I'm leaving. I'll be home soon. I love you. I love you, too. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Like, we didn't know what that's about. Palmetto telesis. Palmetto telesis.
Why is she going in a palm booth? The palm booth said Palmetto Telesis. Did it. Look for Dharma. Look for Dharma signs. Agent Mars. What the hell? What is happening? I don't know. Because she had a cell phone, so it's real sketchy she's using this payphone. I'm glad. Yeah. I realized this morning that it was the Feast of the Ascension, and I was feeling bad. A lot of holy days have come and gone since you last called. I thought you and I were friends. I don't want to run anymore. What's his name? Does he know who you are? Edward, please. I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life chasing me. Please, I love this guy. Just let me go. If you can really stay put, you really settle down, then I'll stop chasing you. So it is her on the run. Yeah. Same old story. But you and I both know that's not going to happen. Cake's done. Yeah, that's not what the timer was doing. I thought she had a cake in the oven. Spielberg and DiCaprio called. They want their storyline back. Mmm.
It does. Oh, I'm not having this. Danny. I'd like to think you died for a reason, Mr. Echo. Just hope it's not too long before we find out what the heck it might be. Yeah, who are these random people that just showed up? Loved you on Oz. Yeah. Out of BC. Like, who are you, guy? Rest in peace, Mr. Echo. Sorry you lost your job, dude. Thank you for helping me. Oh, he's found something on the stick.
Lift up your eyes and look north. Guess we're supposed to head north, dude. I saw Jack. They brought me in to see him. They want him to do surgery on Ben. Who the hell's Ben? Henry, the guy who brought us in. He's sick. And I say that if he does it, they're going to let us all go. And you and me are what? Faith? Something like that. Oh, man. At least the doc ain't dumb enough to do it. I told him he had to. Why the hell would you do something so stupid? To save your life. My life don't need saving. You want to die? Because that's what's going to happen. Pickett is just waiting for his chance. I've seen him look at you. Damn it, Freckles. Stay put. And you know what he's going to do. So don't pretend. How many times are her crawling out of that? Like you don't care. Get us, Freckles. We've already been through this. Shut up, James. James. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You're in trouble.
He's pissed now. You don't want Jack to save your life? Then you're gonna save your own. Uh-oh. We're getting out of here now. Stop it! Damn it, Kate! Get out of here! Run! You're out of your cage. Why don't you run, Kate? Because me... They'd better hurry. I ain't running. Because there ain't no place to go. What are you talking about? What is he, Richard Gere and all of a sudden a gentleman? We're on another island, like an Alcatraz, a couple miles offshore. So unless you're a mermaid or you got a boat... What if she is? Maybe she is, yeah. How are you planning on telling me this? Oh. Kiss, kiss. Why wouldn't you? If it was really forceful, Skye would totally be into it. Dude, this is so hot right now. Because I wanted you to believe that we had a damn chance. Aw, because you love her. Kiss her. Boring.
Sweaty. Very hot. Very hot. Stinky. Bad breath. Very sexy. Like eight week old breath. Eight weeks of ass. They've been eating fish biscuits. They've been eating fish biscuits. Hello. Think about that, Skye. Still sexy. I don't care. Sexy in a salmon row type way. The people are going to come and get them. I don't care. Uh-oh. The boobies. Is anyone... out right now. I'm so dorked out. Why are you dorked out? This is their last time together. This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Everybody take a look. It's the shark. It's jumping. No. That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. You felt that that was the jumping of the shark? That was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Really. They've been captured on a random island in cages and they're going to take a couple of moments to bone.
Not only the bone, but the bone smooch. They have nowhere to go, Eddie. What are they going to do? Maybe that's your plan. Find a boat. Obviously they got there. They got there. Like anyone can just find a boat. Dude, they obviously got there. Like there's random boats hanging out all over the place. You know they have a boat. They have a submarine, Eddie. Find it. Oh, okay. Go dive underwater and find the submarine. I'm going to take a couple moments to bone smooch. Dude, they're in love. What do you want? Bone smooch. Bone smooch. I'm all about a nice bone smooch. Don't get me wrong. Why don't you stop saying that? That is ridiculous. This could be their last time together ever. To bone smooch? Good. Go for it. It's pretty unrealistic that they would be doing it in that setting. I would do it in that setting. They know they're being watched. They know they're being watched. They know that people are on their way. Oh, really? Oh, my God. Are you that horny? I love Caden Sawyer, and I don't care what any of you say. That is dumb. You're dumb. I've never been mad at Lost until this moment. I've been mad at him a lot. I know you have. Stop it. I haven't. I'm pissed. If you had a piece of pizza, you wouldn't be pissed right now. Accurate. Oh, oh. That is true. Three pizzas are on their way. Really? From who? How do you know? Courtesy of P1 Jeremiah.
How do you know? Because P1 Ezekiel couldn't do it first. Yeah, you're a nice person. Oh, my God. That's very nice. Rob, you're a mess. Very nice of him. You're a mess, Rob. I made that up, guys. Yeah. Why is Big Al Kahuna drinking out of a carton of orange? I've been doing that, dude, for like four hours. Yeah, that's really weird. Al Kahuna. You. Big Al Kahuna. Ah. How about mom on the air today, huh? She was great, huh? Oh, wow. The weirdest segment we've ever done. Mom was great. Yeah. Yeah. About that, I'm sorry. What's mom spelled backwards? What's mom upside down? Colonels, can you do something? No, no. Colonels, he's all right. He was on his way. No. He was gone that whole time. He was? Yeah, people were coming to the door. I said, you have one job tonight. Watch people that come to the door.
That guy's got a backpack. That makes me nervous. Can we search that? Somebody want to pat that thing down? Who's the young lady over here? You don't have to stand up. Why is he standing outside? He's warming his hands. That is awesome. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Who's that girl in here? I don't know. I believe she's a P1 of some sort. Who are you, Miss? There's a list somewhere. Can't we at least ask who people are? What's your name? What the hell is this? Is that Quimby? Katie, P1, Quimby. Oh, it's Quimby. Hi, Quimby. Where's Turtle? Where's Turtle? She's in a pond. Hey, don't touch. Ah, the McRib. It's back, Eddie. I heard it's back. It's back. Yes. All right, be quiet. I'm talking about the McRib. What's the matter with you? He's a dick. I'm sorry. She's not going to talk off mic like that all night, right? Hey, that's my friend. Is she going to talk off mic like that all night? First warning, like Trevor. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Trevor's being good. Yeah, because he got the warning. That's right. He got the warning. He's been good ever since. Good boy. We have to be together. What kind of commercial is this? For a long time. Let's be friendly.
Oh, man, I need a cigarette. Reminds me. Oh, okay. Oh, that's realistic. Yeah, I know. That's like Sawyer and Kate making out in that cage. Thank you. So dumb. Mike? That was so dumb. Take it back. Take it back, Mike. Come on. You know that that wasn't okay. They weren't making out. You don't mean it. They were bone smooching. And smooch. Nobody was doing that. Oh, so stupid. Yes, you are. You are? You are. We got to get that job from sideways. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. It's Monica slash Kate. Very nice. Aw, so cute. That's Ethan. Okay, now it's your turn. Jay. I'm so close, babe. It's Ethan. Man needs a pizza stat. Dude, I'm freaking out. Oh, the tickets. The tickets. You know that honeymoon I've been promising you for six months? You are holding in your hand two tickets to Costa Rica. To get your passport ready, baby. To Costa Rica. Hey, what's wrong? All right, take it easy. Come on. Smooch. Thomas Hayden Church. Oh, wow. In the cage. In the cage. They're in the cage like nine hours later just laying around. They're cuddling. How do you think Jack would feel about this? How do you think the viewers are feeling about this?
Sky, come on. They're just laying around in the cage. This is awful. This is ridiculous. If you were laying around in a cage, would you rather be doing it alone or with Kate? I mean, you're going to lay around in the cage anyway. You might as well have Kate there naked. It's ridiculous that they wouldn't stop them, Chase. They've got cameras. They wouldn't allow this. Maybe they want them to do this. Yeah, maybe this is part of the plan. Maybe she's ovulating right now, and they're trying to impregnate her. Are you out of your mind? Maybe they should escape. There's nowhere to go. How ridiculous are you? You're ridiculous. You don't know what the others are up to. Jack. We're back to Jack. By the way, we're watching Lost on ABC. Channel 10, if you want to tune in. Who is this? Take your thumb off. This looks like Saw 4. Yeah. Hey, Jack, you want to play a game? Yeah.
There's a key. Why didn't you leave the whole time, Jack? Sleepy. This show gets more and more realistic as every minute goes by. Can you guys not ruin that, please? Don't worry, Sky. ABC will do that for us. Stumbled across the... Oh, they're letting this happen. They're letting this happen. He was going to watch. Yeah, he's going to see Kate Sawyer doing it. Naughty little boy. That's a Luger. That's a German World War II pistol. Do they want him to kill Sawyer? Oh, no. No. Uh-oh, uh-oh. He's going to see what's going on between Kate and Sawyer. He wouldn't kill Sawyer, though. You don't know. He loves Kate, dude. Yeah, not enough to murder Sawyer. I don't know. This is getting dumb.
That's bad. Sky. Stop it, you guys. I'm so mad right now. Sky. I'm mad at you guys, okay? Well, you're not being realistic. Well, you're not being... If it helped, I was surprised, too. Oh! I'm a betting man. I would have picked her and you. Shut up. I suppose this would be the proverbial nail in my coffin, wouldn't it? That guy really does a great spacing. He does. It's in a box. It's almost dead on. Sorry. Crazy eyes. Oh, give me a break. And everything I mentioned before. The instruments, the anesthesia, and someone who can hold a damn clamp. I'll get it out. Your tumor. And I'll keep you alive. Does that look like a guy that would have a steady hand? Jack, they live on an island. He's going to take their word. Wow. Lost on ABC. I don't know, Sky. I don't know about this one. And this is how they're going to leave us, by the way.
I'm not used to watching commercials on this show. It's so frustrating. Ah, that whole Kate Sawyer thing is so ridiculous. Eddie, you're not surprised that she doesn't think so. I know. Sawyer's getting some action on that. You know that if we were not doing the 28-hour show tonight, we would come into the show tomorrow morning. Not true. And she would say how great tonight was. Oh, that's true. And you would go, Skye, it would be an off-air conversation where you go, are you kidding me? I'm kidding. Sawyer and Kate, the whole bone smooch thing. And then Skye and Eddie and Skye would act surprised that you have that reaction. Oh, I would act surprised. You would act it. Correct. She would go like this. She would go, are you joking? Like, are you kidding? Like, you really didn't think that was cool. Yeah.
That's so dumb. And then we would play Kate. And then they let Jack out so that he can see. Okay, Eddie, why is the whole Kate and Sawyer thing so dumb? I don't get it. It makes perfect sense to me. They're stuck on an island for months and months and months. They've not had sex in forever. That's not true. Sawyer boned Maria Conchita Alonso. Right, and now he wants more. She's dead. He's got to find someone else. But all he's got around is Kate. I know you don't understand how us straights work. What the heck is that? We don't have to bone at every moment like you homos. Which is cool. Hey, leave Chase alone. Those are horrible stereotypes. There's no reason to tell us because we get more than you do. You absolutely do. Which is great. If I was in a cage with Sawyer, I'd be bone smooching. Of course you would. You're gay. Bone smooch. In fact, at that point, after that long, even with Kate, I'd probably be bone smooching at that point. Wow. That's just desperation talking right there. That's just desperation. I'm having trouble right now just getting through this episode without bone smooching. Whoa. Well, hello. I'm kind of waiting to get Bobby Kernel's alone on that entryway. Uh-oh. Hi, Kernel. Who else is uncomfortable? Hi, Kernel. Who else is uncomfortable? You have a fan. Kernel says no, but his haircut says yes. That was my favorite. Wow. Wow.
What is it like? 9.40 PM. Boston Rob has a good line. Hey, folks, I'm just warming up. What time is it? 16 hours into the 28-hour show. It's like he read my mind. Boston Rob's first line of the day. Good job, dude. All right, I'm going to go take five. Hey, guys, can I have a cigarette now? All right. They keep running those non-smoking commercials. It makes me want one. Ew. Guys, in just a few minutes, we'll have 12 hours left on the 28-hour show. It's not bad. Which means that we are well over halfway there. That's horrible. I wish the pizza was halfway here. Stop it. All this talk about bone smooching making me hungry. Are you guys going to watch this show? No. Sky, that's a lie. I don't think I am. Sky's going to watch that. Of course you're going to watch. First of all, it's Taye Diggs. Which means you're watching. Black dude. Automatic. All right, here we go. Oh, pregnancy test. Not pregnant. Not pregnant. Well, what's the deal? What's the deal? Does anybody get it? I don't want to. She wants to be pregnant. She's trying to trap him. We're sure it said not pregnant? Yes. That's her pee. Eddie, that's not with the Eddie.
It's not. No, it isn't. What is she doing? No, it wasn't, dude. She's lost her mind. No, it's iced tea, bro. Yeah, it's iced tea. Dude, where did she just come from? Just finishing some IRs last year. Did you recover to Tampa? Don't drink it, bro. It just comes paperwork. Thank you, sweetie. Get out. What if I told you I was on the run for blowing up my father, and it was only a matter of time before you found out? I'd laugh. This isn't fun. It's not a joke. It's a real. I almost had a baby. Me. Baby. Can't do this. Taco night? I don't do taco night. Calm down, Monica. My name's not Monica. Is that how you got pregnant? Uh-oh. Oh, wait. Oh, she drugged you. Something's wrong with me. I drugged you. You what? I had to. Otherwise, they would think you knew. People are going to be asking a lot of questions, and I didn't want you to lose your job. Oh, she's really an awful human being. Why do we like Kate? Yeah, why do we like Kate?
He's hot. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Good one. And apparently she'll bone smooch anywhere. Hey, there's Sean. My favorite part of Lost. This is going to be a very tricky procedure. If I tell you to do something, I need you to do it then and there. No questions asked. Is that understood? You may find this hard to believe, but I've always been very good at just following orders. Is that a yes? Perp the alphabet. Yes. Go. That looks like such a clean operating room. He's a wide awake little thing. Yeah. I'm ready now. Is this a massage parlor? What is... Before you do surgery. Now cough. I used to. I thought you were bringing those two Asian people on the island over here for the massage. Whoa. That looks familiar. Whatever happens, everything will be very different, won't it?
Like Kevin Spacey on my stomach. We took her home last night. I don't know where she is now. See you on the other side. You're going to feel a little prick. It's not my fault. Get it out, you or you are going. I need you to count down from 20. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Kill him? No, he's not. Gross. Ben's just gone into surgery. Ben just put his life in the hands of one of them. Shepard wasn't even on Jacob's list. Look at who got out of her cage. You should have run when you had the chance. Let's go, Jane. Don't. Please, you don't have to do this. He's coming with me. There's nothing you can do about it. Step away. Who was that guy's assistant, Justin Timberlake? Give me another hemostat. He removed his appendix. Wait, that's the rock star. Oh! All right, 34C. Yeah, you don't know how to cut nothing.
Get a bigger knife, first of all. Yeah. Oh, uh-oh. He's doing something weird. He can't do it. He took the hypocritical oath. Should he be bleeding like that? No. No, he shouldn't. He's made a small incision in Ben's kidney sack. Now, if I don't stitch that back up in the next hour, he's dead. Now, get in here and bring that walkie-talkie. I do hurt you. I just did that, so... Who hasn't? You're going to kill him. Just shoot him. You hear me now? Yeah, you can say that. It's the Verizon guy. Why the hell would I do that? Because if you don't, the doctor's going to let Ben die. What are you talking about? What's that beeping? Just hand her the damn walkie, Danny. Do it now. Our head start before they come after you. Hold you on the beach.