28 Hour Show - 2006 - Hour 9

0:00Exactly. Come on, man. You'll be having some Roma tomatoes. You'll be eating some nice food. Well, you know what, man? I've always said that, you know, it was a good day that God created the tomatoes. So, you know, I don't know. I've always said that, too. You know what? We were just saying that right before we called. Really? Hey, listen, you're going to be here for The Rock before Christmas, and we're looking forward to it. We can't wait for it. It should be very cool. Yeah, man. And, hey, man, we appreciate you taking the time because we know you're busy doing your thing out there. We appreciate it. No, it's my absolute pleasure. Thanks for letting us come and throw down into town, if you know what I mean. So we'll be ready to roll when we get there. You got it, dude. Thank you for calling in. Thank all of y'all very, very much. I send all my love home, and y'all be good. Thank you, bro. During that interview, Sky tried to feed her microphone pizza. Well, he probably doesn't have pizza over there. And I thought he may enjoy some. What? And Eddie outwardly mocked by going, for real, bro. He's down with the town, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I've heard that before. I like him. No, he's a good guy. That's a cool band. Yeah, a really nice guy. I'm trying to look their music up, but I can't because our system is so jacked up. I could probably figure it. Well, I typed in heroes. Dare you. I typed in heroes, and that won't come up. I typed in I dare you. That didn't come up.

1:25Did you type in just shinedown and see what songs? You know what? Nothing comes up as shinedown because half the stuff's not. Hey, Boy Blender's here. He can help you. Boy Blender's just sitting in the corner eating out of a tin tray. What else is new? Oh, like the old days, eh, son? Yeah. I feel like I'm looking into a time warp. Normally we call that a trough. You know. Hey, Mikey, you're going to love this. He didn't even crack a smile. You're going to love this, Sean. You'll love this, too. I was having a conversation with Clint at the Lights Out Bowl. And it was right after I was on the air with Budweiser and Clint. And I was giving him like a ration of crap. And the microphone went off and Budweiser, you know, like walked away all sad. Like normal. I don't care. I thought it was hysterical. So Clint says, you know. He hates that. I said, well, yeah, of course he does. And he says, you know, that we don't ever give him a hard time ever, me and BC. And I said, you guys don't give him any, like, crap or grief or anything? Never. Do you think that he had a conversation with them before he came on the show and said, hey, guys, listen, you know, I'd be happy to do this. He was in a position of power at that point. He held all the cards. But he had gotten fired from the radio station. He had all the cards. What? He got fired from the radio station. I know. That's what gave him all the cards.

2:44To get back on the radio? That's what gave him leverage to be able to call the shots. Is that right? Sorry, Fish. Look at all that leverage. Hey. Are you fat? Fish. Yes. What is the deal? With what? Why do they not give you a hard time? It's not my role. Seriously, it's not. Oh, no, he did not just. What is your role? What is your role? No. What is your role? What's wrong with what I just said? No, seriously. Come on, Ashley. Come on. I will not take part in that. He's the producer now. It's not his role. He is above that. That's right, dude. I want you to take our picture off your MySpace. No, you don't. No, I do. You don't mean that. No, because I'm stating the fact that everybody makes fun of everybody. But you're mocking me, though. I am not mocking you. You are mocking me. That's exactly what you did. It's ridiculous that you just said that. It's ridiculous that you just said that. Whenever anybody ever uses the real low voice to imitate somebody, then they're mocking. I'm now the producer of the show. I'm above getting made fun of by anybody. It's not my role. How dare you? How dare you?

3:52I never... He's my favorite person in the world right now. Spend another five years on this show and then we'll see how you feel. Okay, I will. No voice. No voice again. Unlike you, I won't get fired. No! You know what? I'll be able to be on this show for five years because I won't put the F word on you 18 times in a row. You know what? People make mistakes. And then they grow and learn. They grow and learn. And then they make the same mistake again. And again. And then their program director promotes them. Sorry. You're going to miss that voice at about 3 a.m. Love you, Fish. So what's the deal? What's the deal, Fish? So on the BC and Clint show, like, you are revered. It's kind of like, you know, it's like in different cultures. It's like in different cultures. Like in India, they don't eat a cow. No, they worship cow. No, Sean. No, no, no. Incorrect. In India, like in our culture, you know, the cow is the most, we eat more beef than anything. But in India, they worship it. In afternoons. In afternoons, they worship the cow. I see you're still fatter than holy hell. That's not what I was saying. I got you right. Listen. Eddie. Let me interpret. Mikey's calling Budweiser? Yes.

5:15is a cow. No, I'm not. That's exactly what he's doing. I'm not. I'm saying that it's a different culture. The culture on the Mikey show is that Boy Blender was made fun of, but on the BC Clint show, they worship him. And they revert the cow. Yes. Are you revert? Alright. Sure, if you want to go with that metaphor, sure. Now tell me, I mean, BC gives everybody crap. You're telling me he doesn't make fun? No, he doesn't. Rock 105.3. We are right now with the wonderful and talented Budweiser. He never would go that far. You know, you truly are a handsome and daring man. Well, that is true. Stop it. Why doesn't he make fun of you? It's so easy. Yeah, why don't they? I don't know, and I don't care. I live for it. I know you live for it, but you're just that kind of person. It's fantastic. See? It was a shot at me. It was not a shot. I'm just saying. I miss these days. I miss these days. Hey, Budweiser. Yes. I want you to think back. I want you to think back. I want you to think back to the days in San Jose. How many times do you think that you quit our show?

6:39I wanted to quit almost every day, but I only did that. He quit a few times. I quit one time. Okay, wait. Between Dallas and San Jose. Twice. No. Twice, yes. Dude, you quit more than that. I know you quit at least twice each place. No, there was one time in Dallas when you tried to make me kiss the gay guy. You remember that? I was in my truck on my way home. He's going home. That was, I was, yes. Forget it. It was a good looking gay man. He said forget it. He was a fellow gay man. Yes, there was that time in Dallas and then in San Jose. For some reason, me and Eddie blew up at each other over a parking spot. Do you remember that? Where? In San Jose. Do you remember that? You don't remember that? You guys got mad at each other about a parking spot? Yes, because I got here.

7:34Because I got there before you, and it was right by the door. Oh, I do remember that. It was like your spot. And you said it's my spot. And you thought about the balls that he had, the balls that Blender had to park in your spot. I do remember. But there was more to it than that. Like, I had had a conversation with you before about, like, hey, dude, can you not park there? Because it's, like, where I park every day. Right. And you didn't care. And that's what all the world was. And it blew up, though. Yeah. And I actually would have quit. I know. What happened? You got angry that? What was your thinking? Like, hey, that's not his parking spot. It's a public parking area. Anybody can park anywhere. And, like, the balls on this guy to tell me that I can't park there, I get there before him. Right. I think that's exactly what my thinking was. And so what happened? We blew up at each other, and it was one of those things where, like, we fed off each other's anger. And then I just finally had enough and said, I'm out of here. I quit. And did I talk you back into staying? No, it was like... I remember distinctly talking you into not quitting a couple of times. Yes, you did do that. Because he would quit the show. I only quit the show the two times. He quit twice in Dallas and twice in San Jose. Once in Dallas. But there were a handful of times where he like broke down and he was like, you know, I don't know if this is right for me anymore. There was like... A handful of times that he did that. That is true. Yes, that is true. So that might be what you're thinking. I would love...

8:59To be a fly on the wall during the BC and Clint show. Come on in. Just to see what the dynamic is like. Rock 105.3, can I get you a Coke? No, it's nothing like that. Can I get you anything? I just think that he actually respects me. Well, Clint. Oh, there it is. That's what it is. Clint, I can understand. I can understand because Clint is such a nice guy. He's too nice. He's a golden retriever. That's what I think of him. He totally is. What do you mean he's a golden retriever? He's the type of guy that is so friendly to everybody. He just has that kind of personality. He sees the good in every single person and loves them immediately. So that's why I compare him to a golden retriever. Sweetest guy on the planet. There you go. Tell the bear story. I was waiting. Tell the bear story again. Come on, it's a 20-hour show. The people that are here on this time, they haven't. Heard the story. I'll start. You know what's funny? I got an idea. Why don't we go around the room, like, I'll start the story. Eddie takes over. Each of us will take over. I like that. Okay. One time, Boy Blunder went camping with some Boy Scout friends. My name is Budweiser. It's not Boy Blunder anymore. Anyway. Again, the little boys. Stop it.

10:29We were camping, and then we decided, let's go to sleep. Because I'm hungry. No, really, like, I'm starving. It had nothing to do with it. It had, like, nothing to do with the story at all. Sky's laughing. What are you doing? You have to participate. For at least five or seven minutes. Sky, your turn. Then what? I don't want to do this, you guys. You have to. I'm sorry, Fishy. I love you. Don't. Don't love me. Don't let him manipulate you. It's inevitable. Just do it. Just get it over with. There you go. Okay, you know how these guys are. Yeah, we'd never let you not do it. Now do what you want to do. Yeah.

11:21Wait, what just happened? Well, fellow boys. Keep going, please. I gotta hear the rest of it. That's an award. That's an award. Genius. Oh, fellow Boy Scouts, I'm feeling a little tie-tie. I think I'm going to go to bed now. Am I eight years old in this story? Were you a Boy Scout? Yeah, but you're like 14 when this happened. But then I fell asleep, and I woke up to the sounds of clanking pots and pans. Come to find out. I must have been sleep eating again. Time for another meal. Let me see. I never even mentioned me eating in this story once. I think I'll have a cow. Sky. And then I woke up.

12:54And all the other Boy Scouts said there was a bear licking my face. And I was like, huh? And they were like, yeah, there was a bear licking peanut butter. No, wait. There was a bear licking honey off your face. And I was like, what? Because I don't even like honey. I thought it was Fluffernutter. Which I eat every day. Are you guys done? And the guys were like, yeah, dude. The bear was eating your face. And then I was like, but how is that possible? Because if something with that much meat had been close to my mouth, I would have eaten it. When did I turn into Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High? That is so great. That's when I thought it couldn't get better. Thank you.

14:06It's not the story, though. That's not what happened. That story is so great. Blender, it changes every time. Every time. The story changes. Every time. That's because you change it. I've never changed it. You have changed that story every time you've told it. Never. Very briefly. Catch on fire. Catch on fire. I've never changed that story. Every time. Every time, bro. Every time, bro. Every time. Sky just threw hot tea in your face. She knows. Even she knows. The story has been told on the air. The story of the bear has been told on the air probably a dozen times. At least a dozen times, okay? And very briefly, the story is when Blender was a kid, he went with a bunch of Boy Scouts, and he claims that a bear came and was licking food that was left on his face, off of his face. And it's a story, like after we heard it a few times, we realized after like the third or fourth time hearing the story,

15:05He never saw the bear. I did, too. He's a bear. He says that when he woke up, all the other Boy Scouts told him that the night before, a bear. You're changing the story. You're changing the story in your own head. They were banging pots and pans. Which he didn't wake up for. I did say I woke up. I did, too. Scott. Can you let this happen? He never, as far as I remember, he never saw the bear. I saw, there were two bears as a matter of fact. They were cubs. What?

16:06I'm kidding you. This is the first time you've ever said that there were cubs. No, they were cubs. They were baby bears. That's a new story. It's a breaking story, ladies and gentlemen. It's not. Every damn time. You've never said the word Cubs. You're ridiculous. You guys are yelling at me the entire time. You can't hear me. Listen to me, listen to me. You're ridiculous. Guess who's on the line and has a great Boy Blunder story? Oh, God. Now what? John Doe remembers back in the day. Oh, God. If you want, John Doe is listening to the 28-hour show online in the Bay Area. Right, John Doe? Good afternoon. Good afternoon. There's his theme music. And so what story do you remember? You remember also the other time when they were yelling at each other in the parking lot about whose car was parked where and stuff? Remember Eddie was yelling at blunders, threatening if you parked there again, he was going to have his car towed? I don't remember that, Eddie. I don't remember that. I don't remember that either. Anyway, anyway. And when he was fired.

17:15Mikey tried to call Fatboy back, but he had drove down to the 4th Street bowling alley that was down the street, and he was feeding his face with pancakes and waffles. That's right. What? That's right. That's right. Thank you. You went across the street. That's the truth. When he quit, he went down. That's right. When he quit, he went and ate. When he quit, he went down to the 4th Street bowling alley to eat in misery. Oh, no. Where he started to bull with a bear, I believe. Stop. It was a cub. It was two bear cubs. Two bear cubs. You guys, it was an antelope. If you ever let me get through the story. Oh, how dare you? Dude, we've let you through that story 13 times. Let's let him tell it, and we won't say a word. Definitively. We won't say a word. Definitively. The floor is yours. Tell the story. You've done this to me before, and every time I start to tell the story. Sean, give me a little kid music. Come on. Tell me the story. Boy blunder. All right. Well, I was camping with the Boy Scouts in the High Sierras. See? This is what I'm talking about. You can't... Anyway, what you're supposed to... I thought it was the French Alps. What? I thought it was the French Alps. No, I... Don't do that. Okay, sorry. Anyway, what you're supposed to do when you're camping in the High Sierras is hang up your food at night. Now, some guys did not hang up their food that night, and what that did was attract bears to the campsite. Okay? All right.

18:40By the way, I have to point something out. It's not about this. I swear. I just want people to recognize the brilliance of something right now. Sean is playing the sad music from The Incredible Hulk. Start it again, Sean, because it's worth it. It's worth it. David Banner was so downtrodden. Go ahead. That is so brilliant that there's not words for it. There's just not words for it. So anyway, you're supposed to hang up your food in the High Sierras. A couple guys didn't. I go to bed early. Here's the deal. I think I ate my dinner and there was a little bit of peanut butter or something. I know you ate your dinner. I'm going to say I know you ate it. Hey. I apologize. I apologize. Hey. I apologize. He has a floor. So I didn't clean off my face or whatever, okay? I'm a kid. Kids do this stuff, all right? How old? How old? Oh.

19:51How old were you? I was probably about 14. I don't really remember. 14-year-olds don't clean their face. Okay, just check it, because I was pretty sure I did when I was 14. Again, I can't tell. I'm not going to tell the story. Don't, Ashley. Don't, Ashley. No, because that's exactly what I said. What happened? I'm quiet. No, you're not. Yes, I am. You're not. I'm listening to you. Keep going. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet. Ashley's sorry. Anyway, so about middle of the night after... Nobody's saying anything, dude. Okay. It's a safe place. So anyway, about probably midnight, 1 o'clock in the morning, something like that, a couple bears came into the camp, and the people that were watching the camp saw the bears. Apparently, the bear came up to me and my buddy Shane at the time and licked... Again! No, see? No, that's it. Don't let him down! Don't let him down! I said! I said! You know what?

20:52Let's let him finish before we say anything. I'm taking notes. Don't worry. Yeah, take notes. I'm taking notes. Please, go ahead. Okay. So anyway, the bear comes up, licks my face, apparently, and licks the other guy's face. Right, Shane. See? No, he was pointing it out. People just tuning in. I said not a word. Sorry. Please start the Incredible Hulk music again. Oh, wait. The loop. Okay. So... The guys start waking up, all the rest of the Boy Scouts, and what they're doing, they're playing pots and pans trying to scare the bears away from the camp. They're blowing whistles. They're doing anything to get them away from the camp. So I finally wake up after hearing all the racket and everything, and I don't really know what's going on. I'm disoriented. I just woke up, you know. Can I ask a question legitimately? Can I legitimately ask a question? No? I reserve the right to not answer it. Can I ask? Yes. What about Shane? Did he wake up? Yeah. So you and Shane? We both woke up, yeah. Was it a two-man? No, we weren't in a tent. We were in a sleeping bag. Was it a two-man? I wish I knew how to quit you. Go ahead. You know it's not. I don't know. I don't know. Yes, you do. That's a ridiculous question. It was a legitimate question. It was not legitimate. How dare you? Continue on. Anyway.

22:18You ever thought about turning this to, like, a movie? Maybe a TV movie? What would it be? What would it be? Splendor and the Bear? Bearback Mountain? All right. Anyway, they tell us that the camp had been invaded by bears and... Invaded. And... If we had a TV show, we would be doing a reenactment. And it would be like me and Eddie in bear costumes. Bad bear costumes. Yeah, bad bear costumes. Go ahead. And they told us that the bear had licked our faces and they had started away. Now, we all had to, like, gather together for warmth because it's in the middle of the night, you know, because we're all... Why is that funny? What are we going to do? We couldn't go back to our sleeping bags where the bears were. So we're sitting there and we're watching the bears tear up the backpack full of food. I have a legitimate question. What? Did you guys have any clothing on? I was sleeping naked out in the middle of the woods. You said you were trying to stay warm, bro. Right. You said you were trying to stay warm. Yes, I know I said that, but we're not going to be naked in the middle of the high Sierras. Okay. What about Shane? What about him?

23:34What about Shane? He was wearing clothes too, yes. Okay. Don't leave, dude. Come on, come on. How's Eddie's fight? Take it back. This is it. This is the last time. Last chance. Okay, so then what? So you guys huddled together. We huddled together for warmth and we watched the bears tear up the backpack and eat the food that was inside. And there's the story. How dare you? You are a ridiculous bastard. I come in here, I tell the story because you asked me to, as a favor. Okay, first time we've heard of Shane. Yes. Okay. Who's Shane? Yes. Okay. Don't know. Then, where did this gather together for warmth and watch the bears rip stuff apart? He's never seen the bears in the other stories. That's not true. First time that it's been two bears ever, they were cubs. Two bears. And did Shane get his face licked too? Is that what you're saying? Yes. What? Produce Shane. I can prove. Produce Shane. He looked at his cell phone. I think I can. He looked at his cell phone as if to tell us, I think he's on my cell phone. He knew full well there's no Shane on his cell phone. There's no Shane, but there's a guy that I can talk to about it. Please. I can prove that he's full of crap. Please do. In the past stories, he's always said the other guys told him it was a bear. Right.

24:54That's right. You are now saying you witnessed the bears. I've seen the bears. I saw the bears. No, what you're not understanding is that they told me that the bear licked my face. Bearweiser. That's what you're misunderstanding. See, this is what the problem is. You guys misunderstand my story because I wasn't very good at telling it. That's the problem. 15 opportunities to tell it. You think you'd get it right now? I'm giving you the definitive story right now. Save this tape. Every time you want to hear the story, just ask this. Sean, go ahead. Oh, no. Seriously. Okay. Seriously. Did Shane also have peanut butter on his face? Great question. I don't know. I have no idea. Did he have dinner on his face? I have no idea. What did you eat for dinner, definitively? Peanut butter? What was on your face? We were backpacking, so my guess is my dinner consisted of cheese and crackers and peanut butter and stuff. Because you can't cook when you camp? No, you can, but we prefer rations of peanut butter and crackers. MREs. My dad was in the Army. We did. Why didn't you shoot the bear then? Anyway.

26:19It's a long hike in the High Sierras, okay? And I was tired, so I just wanted something quick to eat before I went to bed. Is that satisfying? No. Of course not. It's ridiculous. It's not ridiculous. When a bear is eating your face. He wasn't eating my face. You should wake up. Do you really think that somebody licking a face and eating it is the same? No, but I'd wake up for either one. Not okay. If you hike in the high Sierras for like 25 miles and you're dead tired. You never hiked in the Sierras for 25 miles. Are you kidding? Yes, I did. No, you didn't. You'd still be thin from it. You'd still be up there. I did a lot of stuff. I mean, that's what made my experience in the Boy Scouts so great is that I got to do stuff like that. Let me tell you something. Seriously. Sky doing Blunder may be my new favorite thing. It was so awesome. Congratulations. Take it. I don't want to make fun of you, fishy. You loved it. Talk to Shane, Sky. Warn Shane as Blunder. Warn him to get up and get out of here. Shane! Go ahead. How would he do it? You guys are so mean. You're mean. You said you know how they are.

27:39You know they'll force me. We're going to force her. I mean, we have freaking like 20 million hours to go. Shane, there's a bear licking our face. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. I can't believe it. That's so awesome. I have no comment for either one of you. You don't mean that, Fishy. Stop it. You're the best, Fish. We love you, Fish. You're the best. We love you. Keep changing that story. Yeah. Keep it interesting. Are you going to stay for the rest of the show? Yeah, for that. Just going to hang out. You should, man. We'll have more food. I know. I saw the little spread. They brought in. I had to resist digging in to your little snacky cake. I guess I can stay. I guess I don't have much going on. No, I do, actually. I'm actually going to drive up. No, actually, I am kind of busy. Who's bringing dinner?

28:37I was going to drive up to L.A. to go to Commerce and play in their holiday bonus series of tournaments. Oh, somebody has a question about that right now. P1 King of Herbs is on the line. Are you there, King of Herbs? Yes, I am. What did you want to ask? I love weed. Okay, excuse me. Back in 2004 when Blondweiser got fired for being him. Didn't he say that he was trying to become a professional poker player? Yes, that is true. Yeah, I did. Yeah, that's pretty lame. And all I got to... All right, no, it's okay. Give it a shot. Blondweiser, Blondweiser. I love it. It's a combination of the both. But, Eddie, the Oracle, the great Oracle, I got a question for you. Whatever happened to your stalker? Whatever happened to my stalker? Yeah, what happened to her? Don't know. You just haven't heard from her. You still stopped calling? Remember when you guys were all afraid that she was going to call during your 2004 28-hour marathon? Was it the 04 one that we were worried about it? I thought we were worried about it last year. Was it last year? No, Blunder was still on the show. It was 04 because I remember I was listening. Really? Yes, I remember. It was before being robbed. It was right after the Mikey Show Apprentice and that real winner.

29:57That guy who beat out B-Rob and the other girl. Levi. Eddie, any comment? Do you know whatever happened to her? I'm still not allowed to talk about it on the air, and let's just say she will never bother me again. There you go. What are you calling me? Sean, you son of a bitch. All right, I got different stuff I got to tell you about. Black Friday. Oh, by the way, T-minus one minute till Lou Bush. Are you serious? Awesome. Well, he was irritated. Are you leaving, Fish? It's okay. You're a good man. Come back. Come back. I'll probably come back at about 3 or 4 in the morning if that's okay. That's fine. Good luck in your tournament, Fishy. Thank you. We'll try and have some food ready for you. Lou Bush was irritated at Eddie and I for making fun of him on the air for being late. And he was offended by it, right?

31:00What did he say? Did he text messages? I texted him yesterday and said, you know, don't forget 2 o'clock tomorrow. And he texted me back, F you, I heard you on the radio. Well, that says to me that he will definitely be here at 2 o'clock. Oh, wait. It just turned 2 o'clock. It's 2 o'clock and 5 seconds now. Lou? So he's here? He's not here yet. Lou? No? You're listening to the 28-hour Mikey Marathon. Brought to you by Fox 6 News. On KIOZ, San Diego's rock station. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 2 p.m. and 3 p.m. Can you guys talk amongst yourselves while I go tinkle and do a costume change? A costume change already? I want to get comfortable. Delicious. So are these the jammies? They're kind of, yeah. Can I go with? No, it's okay, Sean. Are they the fart shorts? The fart shorts. It was a legitimate. That is a legitimate question. It was a legitimate question. No, they're not the fart shorts. Oh. Okay. Yeah, Mikey has a special pair of shorts. He likes to fart in. And relax in. And part of relaxing, I guess, is farting for him. Dude, you sit in this chair every day? Yeah.

32:24This is a terrible chair. What's wrong with it? Oh, it's hard as a rock. I think I want that new chair. Oh, that's awful. That sucks. I always just thought you were being a diva. I apologize. I'm about to put on the outfit that I wear at home to relax in that Rebecca hates. Nice. Yeah, I brought some of those as well. My husband specifically told me not to bring certain things, which I snuck into my bag and brought anyway. Oh, not slutty at all. I wouldn't mind helping. Slutty? Is that what you're referring to? I'll be there in a minute, Mike. No, because they're all ratty and have holes in them. Oh. And he says they make me look like a bag lady, so he didn't want me to wear them around the station. But, you know, it hurts, but it feels so good. That doesn't even make sense there, Sean. It fits in a way. If you think about it real hard. Sure. Can I borrow some Perel? Skrill. Am I allowed to touch it or do you want to pump it into my hand? I'll pump it into you. Okay, that's enough, Sean. That's plenty of fuel. I didn't even get started. My hands are dripping in it right now. I swear to God, dude, I did two pumps. Dude, look at my hands. They're dripping wet. Somebody only usually needs one pump. Right?

33:49How much do you use? How many pumps do you use? Well, honestly, I like to use an even number that's evenly divisible by two. What? That's good luck. What are you talking about? And I usually do eight. It's called OCD. Oh, okay. Yeah. So do one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. No. That's ridiculous. Sean, you could bathe in that. What do you mean it's ridiculous? You could bathe in that much. Oh, is it overflowing out of my hand? Yeah, it's like a pile in your hand. Yeah, if you were to move. See, it's dripping off. It always drips. You're supposed to put a little dollop in your hand and rub it around and you're good. Right. Okay, but if you put a little dollop in your hand, it's not going to get everywhere. It's supposed to get all over your hands. Right, not all over the floor and your arms and your legs. No, no, no. It's supposed to go on your hands and then up the forearm. No. Up the forearm. What are you going to do? Just your forearm? Hold on a second. When a surgeon goes to perform surgery, does he just go, oh, my little finger. Are you going to perform surgery? Right. No, but what I'm saying is they're setting the standard. That's the bar. But they have their wrists inside your body sometimes. Right, right. Okay. You're not going anywhere near your wrist, you goofball. You're pushing buttons on your laptop.

35:07They're clean. Wow. Freak show. You guys want to take some phone calls? I'm here in America. Mikey show. Yeah, I've heard Boy Blunder's story before. It's called Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah. Boy who cried wolf. Or boy who cried bear. Shane is the red wolf I heard. The boy who ate too much. Sean, not nice. Mikey show. Hey, I just, 2 on Fox, I just called to agree a shot. It has to be an even number divisible by 2. Thank you. Do you have OCD? It's not OCD. It's just good luck. It's good luck. Who says? OCD people. Oh, okay. And then after you do it, you go 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, and then you go 8 divided by 2, 4, 4 divided by 2, 1. Oh. I mean, 4 divided by 2, 2, 2, 2 divided by 2, 1. And then you're done. What are you? Say that again. You go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 divided by 2, 4 divided by 2, 2 divided by 2, 1. That's your boy right there. That's not my boy. And then once you get down to 1, you're done. But it's got to be divisible by 2. Well, isn't 4 divisible by 2? Yeah, but... Why isn't 4 substantial? Well, if you only do 4, you don't have enough to go up the arms. Oh, God.

36:20You've got to have one. For surgery. Yeah, we got it. We got it. I'm not doing surgery. Well, obviously you are. I'm just trying to be clean. All right? If you want to be dirty, fine. But don't blame me. My arms aren't dirty. They are dirty. They are not dirty. Filthy. They are not. Eddie, my arms aren't dirty. They are. They are, but I don't want to. Thank you, Eddie. Rude. Mikey Show. Hey, remind Mikey to look on Sean's face when he got someone brought in that little bottle of Purell. It was almost an orgasmic moment for him because they brought him gloves also. I said it was an emotional orgasm, and it was. Well, it had to be because it's exactly what it looked like. Oh, right. Okay. All right, Sean. Be nice. Be nice to the P1s. Mikey Show. Hello? Yo. Hey, this is B. Rob. It's Eddie. Hey, Eddie. How you doing? Good. What's up, dude? It wasn't going to be a race between you and... Oh, and he just left. Damn it. They were supposed to have a foot race, remember? Because Eddie says he could blow him out of the water. Dude, it would. Between you and who? Blunder. Oh, that's right. That's such a goof. Blunder's been working out. Honestly, he thinks that, you know, oh, I'm big, but I'm fast. Yeah. And I think a lot of fat dudes think that. They say that, but it's not true. He doesn't have an athletic bone in his body. But he's been working out.

37:42for like two months. What does that matter? Did you see what was standing next to you? He looked like hell. He looked like hell. Eddie's pretty quick. We'll do it at 3 a.m. when he comes back. Yeah, because that's fair. I've only been on the air for 25 hours. He's been sleeping and eating. Mostly eating. I still will win. Mikey Show. Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. I'm with Sean on the Universal Sanitation. Are you guys with me on that? No. I am. Of course. You guys suck. Where's Missy? Oh. Oh, don't hang up. And then he hangs up. He doesn't even want to have a conversation about it. I want to find out. I have things to say. I want to find out. What is the deal? What's the reason? Why do we suck? Because I think Missy's fantastic. I enjoy her. I don't know that we suck. Right? I mean, we're not even playing commercials. Everybody has a right to their own opinion. Look at Big Papa here. Oh, you know, he doesn't like that. Oh, yeah. Nothing with the word big in it. Why do you say, like, big guy? Look at the teeth. You said Big Papa. That's like a rap term. So? He doesn't care. He hates it. Right, Mike? Yeah, that's right. What are we doing? Talking about Sean using way too much Perel. Yeah, whatever. Did you know this about him, Mike, that when he pumps the Perel, it has to be in a number divisible by two?

39:11And he has to, like, count it down in his head when he does it. But four is not sufficient. Yeah, four is not enough. It has to be eight. And then after he reaches eight, he has to divide it by four. Whoa! Look at this. I heard you talking about me. Look at this. I heard you talking about me. It's too late. Look at the time. My voice was calling me. Why is your boy talking trash? Talking trash? Who's talking trash? Lou, Lou, Lou. Now, if you're being honest, Lou, was it really? Lou, was it tough for you to be here at 2 o'clock? He's the best. He's the best. Lou, come sit down. Come sit down. Let's get another chair. Carol, how are you? How are you, Carol? Hi, Carol, the bartender. Now, Lou Bush is a former San Diego Charger. He does a pregame show with Eddie for the San Diego Chargers. and was a linebacker on the Super Bowl Charger team. Correct. And I said this makes the best barbecue food I've ever had in my life. Today's not about barbecue, dude. What is it? Hot wings. Hot wings. I heard you like hot food. Absolutely. I love it. I love it. You know, I have the hottest hot wings in San Diego. I would literally say probably in the West Coast. Okay, but Lou, did you bring any?

40:36edible wings as well? Oh, they're not hot like that. Yeah, I brought some edible wings for these guys. So they're not so... Are they so hot that, like, they're just going to singe me and I won't... We're going to find out. Let's find out. I can't wait. I can't wait. Carol, pass them those wings right there. Let's do it. Those are his right there. You guys don't even mess with those. I didn't know that you were in the hot wing business. I thought that you strictly did barbecue. Well, we got guys that come to JT's all the time. Preparation age. She brought me some ice water. What is this? Oh, that's... Purell. Yeah. I can smell it. You think? I can smell it. I can tell that they got some spicy. A little flame to them. Well, you know, we get people coming into JT's all the time wanting, like, give me the hottest thing you got. Well, let's see. First of all, I need to get something to wipe my hands with when I'm down here. Thank you. Thank you. Here we go. Oh, boy. Now, don't go crazy because you've got to be on the air for another 30 hours. Yeah, a little bite. What do you call these? Can people order them like this? Those are going to be the Mikey's.

41:39We're going to call those the Mikeys. The Mikeys. I like them. Here we go. That's a pretty big bite. Oh, that's hot. That's real hot. That's ridiculous hot. Is that it? Hot? At least his face hasn't come in green yet. Yeah. Not yet. But it's a good heat, though. It's a good heat. There's habanero in there. A little bit. A little bit. I'd say a lot. Oh, no. Ooh. Now, what are we talking, Mike, on a scale of 1 to 10 of hotness? Where are these at right now? A little ice water for you. Don't touch a dingle after that. Oh, yeah. These are the plain ones. On a scale of 1 to 10, what are we talking hotness? Yeah, I've done some pretty good damage here. Oh, no. Really? One bite? Oh, yeah, they're good, man. The flavor is great. They're hot.

42:46So you can eat a couple of those? Eddie. Because you eat hot. He's turning white. Scale of one to ten. Right? Ten. They're ten. Really? They're hot. He's turned white as a ghost. Who can try it? Who can try it? B-Rob, come on. You can do it. Take your time, B-Rob. Never happened. Rob, did you hear that? Eat all of them. Lou says if you eat all those, he will feed you free for a month. It's a challenge. No, no. Oh, because that's right, because if he gets sick, he's going to... He can't leave. He has to be here until... Okay, okay. Now, I'm going to tell you. What? Might you have more water? I'm used to hot food, like real hot food. Yeah. And so...

43:46the burn is coming down for me now. But I'm telling you, I think that anybody that did not grow up in a Mexican household like I did, that's going to put some hurt in you. That's good, though. The flavor's good. Sky, you love spicy. Can you try a tiny bite? See, any other day, no problem. But I don't want to make myself sick, dude. A little bite, though? Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going to go? You're not going to make yourself sick. Don't let them talk you into it. Don't do it. Stop that. You'll hate yourself later. Skye, you're not going to get sick. Take a tiny bite. Angus. Come on. I ate that one. Have a little bit of haggis while you're out of time. I don't want any haggis. I would rather you eat haggis than them. So you know now. You see the bite that I took? It feels hot. Be careful. Be careful. They're hot. Get on a mic. Get on a mic. That just cinched his nose. You shouldn't inhale. I was just smelling it. Now, is it true, Lou, that you actually got tears to come out of somebody on these? Oh, yeah. That's an unusual account. That's something we use. Oh, okay, okay. Did you try them? Okay, okay. I have one. How's it going? Good. How's the levels, how it just goes to 911 immediately? Yeah. How's it feel? You love spurning? Yeah. You want some in my water?

45:17You all right? That is warm. That is, ooh, oh. Need some milk? You can't really. Eddie, can you do a tiny bit? I don't want to. I'm not, I don't want to. It's getting hotter. Come on out. No. No way. Are you kidding me? I ain't crazy. Lou, they are good. Now. Do you take another bite? No. Oh. I have a question, Lord. Yes. Ashton's going to do it? Ashton's going to do it. Oh, my God. I ate that one, so don't eat that one. This is fantastic. You can dip it. This is fantastic. Ashley, you're crazy. On mic. On mic. Accurate. On mic. Go over to B-Rod and Mike. Do you sell them to the public like this? Yep. You do? What do you call them? There she goes. They're now going to be called Mikey's. I would love for you to call them Mikey's. Oh, look at Ashley. Oh, dude. Ash?

46:24What do you think? Yeah. Pretty good. Go, 911. I don't think you can do another bite, right? Go for it again. Oh, look at her. She's got it. Careful. It's just like ice water when you get a cold. Look, your taste buds. Oh, my God. Your eyes are watering. The taste buds are dead now. You might as well go ahead and finish it. Look at her. She's wagging her tongue. She's wagging her tongue. They're hot. That's the spot. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Lou, I wish you could tell me what's in them. You can't? I have. Go get on a microphone, you goof. Okay. Hey, we have, we had so many people coming in, you know, one hot, you know, oh, we want the hot wings, I want hot wings. And just talking craziness, literally. And so I went online and ordered like the six. Dave's. Is it Dave's? Oh, Dave's is number four on my list. Oh, really? Really? I got like six of the hottest hot sauces in the world. Really? Yeah. Wow. Holy crap.

47:29My lips and my tongue are numb. Yeah, I got a little tingling numbness in the lips. How about your associate? Has your associate tried these before? Or is it too hot? No, no, Carol will make it. I ain't stupid. Carol, too hot for him? Oh, way too hot for me. Oh, my gosh. Way too hot. Don't you just love that accent? That's why I brought her. Yeah, what is the accent? Scottish? Scottish. I will say this. That shit's crap. That's exactly what I say. The flavor is outstanding. Oh, you knew that now. Come on. The flavor is outstanding. It's hot, though. But we get these people in there, man. They just come in like, I want the hottest thing you make. Dude, I'm like, okay. Tell them where JT's is so they can check. Carol. 5821 Mission Gauze Road across from the Home Depot and the Nissan dealer. Wow. Come in, have some hot wings. What's that? Let Carol talk trash to you. My whole mouth is like burning. It's good, though. It, like, stings like a bee just stung my tongue. You're still a little bit pale there, Mikey. Oh, come on. I'm Mexican. I can't get pale. Oh, you're pale for Mexican. Mikey Show. Hello. Yeah, this is P1 Mexican. What's up? What's up? I got a remedy for that spiciness you guys are dealing with. Menudo. No. What is it? What you do if you have sugar available or any kind of candy, just pop in a little piece of sugar or some candy and just...

48:51Suck on that for a little bit and get rid of all the spiciness, man. Thank you. Lou, have you ever heard that? Is there really anything you can do? I've heard several. Milk, bread. If it's like bread, bread's supposed to take the spice away. Salt. Take the salt and put it in your mouth. Lou, what about you? Do you eat these wings? I will step below. I don't go that high. I don't want to. Because it's not enjoyable to me. I won't have any more taste buds for the rest of the day. I like to taste what I eat usually. That was impressive. Your lips are like red. That's impressive. That's crazy, man. There's no doubt about it. It's impressive. That's crazy. And I eat habanero. You know what I mean? Wow. You don't have to get you a bottle of that hot sauce. It's really... It's called Megadeth. I was sweating mixing it. You okay? Rob, did you check it? Rob, you all right? It's not funny. But it's good, though. I mean, ooh, it's good. Bring those normal ones. You're alive. Wow. Nice. Mikey Show. Thank you. Hey, this is B1B Ryan. I was seeing, we've been listening to you guys all day, but I was just seeing if you guys could maybe do, like, some clips off of that drunken, where we're going and ask the drunken guys questions. What is that? What is he talking about? Bomb to the Beach. Oh, Bomb to the Beach, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Do we have any examples of it? Do we have any examples of Bomb to the Beach? Like, what do you mean examples?

50:23You know how all the stuff up here? Well, you've got it on your shortcut loaded for you, and then... Yeah, we're going to play it. Oh, we're actually going to play it? Yeah. All right, let me give an example of something, because I've got to cool down. Honestly. I'm going to play for people something that we do called Tyrone and Tortilla. New listener to the Mikey Show, you say? Well, Tyrone and Tortilla are Eddie and I's alter egos. For a treat. I play Tyrone. Eddie plays Tortilla. Eddie is our producer. He often gets emails from people. Can you have my client on? And some of them are just awful. Just like nobody's going to put them on the radio. Right, Eddie? Dude, the two worst times for those are Christmas. and halloween oh no you get the worst guest requests ever like what like what are they for instance oh for example today uh this one i've been getting hounded on so i finally said screw it uh this lady i guess is an expert on face painting for halloween i don't know her name is brenda murphy she's got a website

51:48She can teach you how to paint your face cool, teaches kids how to paint. I don't know, dude. It's the dumbest thing to me. So what we do with Tyrone and Tortillas, we have them come on the air, but we say, yes, you're going to be booked on the Tyrone and Tortilla show. Correct. What they don't know is that it's me and Eddie goofing on them and also that me and Eddie will paint them into being a racist. For no reason. For no reason. For no reason. Oh, yeah. It's a good time. So without any further ado, let's get her on the line. Hello. Is this Brenda Murphy? Yes, it is. Well, hello, Brenda. My name is Tyrone. And I'm Tortilla. And together we're the Tyrone and Tortilla Show. That's right. And we're pleased to have Brenda Murphy on the line. And she is an expert on face painting. Isn't that correct? Yes, it is.

52:45So what do you do? You have a website where you show people how they can become a professional face painter. That's silly. Yeah, well, especially for Halloween. I mean, it's great. The website is... Let me ask you this, Brenda. Why is it that only white kids are able to participate in Halloween in general? Good question. I've always been curious to hear a white person answer that question. Spit it out, cracker. Please. I don't think that's correct, actually, because I have a lot of kids, especially working with inner city youth that I go to and actually volunteer myself. Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, really? Here we go. Oh, really? Okay, so you're saying you work with inner city youth. Now, let me ask you, do you think that Al Jolson was a funny face painter? Who was? Al Jolson. I don't know who that is. Oh, this is the portion of the interview tortilla where we pretend that we don't know who a blatant racist was. You know, Mr. Bojangles. That's right. What about David Duke? Ooh, never heard of him either, huh? Um, actually, no, I haven't heard of him either. How about Adolf Hitler? Ever heard that name before, Miss Murphy? Um, of course I have, but I don't see what it has to do with space painting. What about the Klan? What part of your funny bone did they tickle?

54:09Excuse me? Go ahead, Tortilla. Hey, lady. Is it true you told some Mexican kids that you would paint their face white to, quote, make them not so poverty-looking, unquote? Yeah, is that true, Ms. Murphy? You know what? I called to do an interview about face painting. We know. That's right. You're doing an interview about face painting. That's what we're doing. Right. Let me ask you this, Brenda Murphy, supposed expert on face painting with a website. Don't you find it ironic that one of the names given to ghosts is spooks? Don't you find that ironic? Does that mean anything to you? I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even do... I don't do... Ghosts, actually. I do an excellent, I do great vampire. Okay. Oh, well, that's good. All right, then, I have a question for you. What's scarier, what's the scarier mask for a black neighborhood? Dracula or the police?

55:20Which one's scarier you think? You know what, actually, um... In a city worker? I'm not gonna answer that question, and quite frankly, I don't think you guys are being very professional. You asked me if I would talk to you about Facebook. No need to insult us. Yeah, really. I mean... No, you've been... No, you've been insulted us. Up until this point, it was very friendly. Very cordial. Very friendly, very cordial. You haven't even let me talk about Facebook. You haven't even let me know what I do. Go ahead, Tortilla. Hey, Dr. Face. Go ahead, Tortilla. I have a question. We used to do some face painting in mi barrio. But that was when we would just beat the crap out of the whiteys that came into our neighborhood looking for weed. You do the same stuff? We are talking to Dr. Face. No, we do. Speaking of the clan. Speaking of the clan, Ms. Murphy, how do you paint little hoods on the face? How's that done? You know, I'm not even going to answer that. All right, all right, all right. All right. Let me ask you a legitimate question. May I please? It is legitimate. Absolutely. Yes, please. What do you call a little black boy wearing a hood on Halloween?

56:40I have no idea. A ghost. Oh, you're a racist. You racist. You call him like you'd call anybody. Oh, because he's black. Oh, no. I don't know. What would you call that? That's too weird. If he's black, I don't know. I have to ask. What? What would you call him? A ghost. You would call him a ghost. This is really just... Disappointing. Yes, it is. It's disappointing that you guys have asked. Right. It's disappointing that you claim to work in inner city, yet you're a racist. What are you talking about? Hey, Brenda! Go ahead, Tortilla. What are you talking about? I think you should paint the shame off my face for having you on the air. What? Tortilla thinks that you should paint the shame off his face for having you... Dr. Paint on the air. No, I'm not a doctor. I'm a makeup artist. I'm not a doctor. You're leading my life now, huh? F you. We're not doctors. Thank you very much, Brenda. You sound cute. You've been boring, and you are an expert on face paint. Would you like to give out your website? Yes, I would. Thank you, and good day, sir. Shut up.

58:06All right, we're back. What up? This is what I got to say about Lou. We're out, baby. Are you leaving, Lou? Lou. Got to go back to work. This is what I got to tell you. I've now had the best barbecue food I've ever had and the hottest wings I've ever had. Both from Lou Bush. There you go. There you go, big dog. There you go, man. Love you. Love you, I'm out. Yeah, like, yeah, like, say, love you, I'm out. Thank you, man. See you Sunday. Thank you, dude. Bye, guys. Bye, have a good day. Sky? What up, G? Try a tiny little bit. No. Oh, okay. Make sure you wash your hands. Don't touch your eyes. Especially with the baby. That's crazy. Ashley, how you doing? I'm about in full recovery now. Took a minute.

59:06I just had to open another Diet Coke. Yeah, me too. Wash it back. Pound it in Gatorade. Yeah. And when it starts to get better, I take another tiny piece. No, you don't. Yeah. Guilty pleasure. Christy. Guilty pleasure. I get you. Yeah. I'm right there with you. Guilty pleasure? Yeah. Where's my water? I don't get that. It's like a silent R. Thank you. All right, Mike. All right, we've got to figure out something to do now.