28 Hour Show - 2007 - Hour 17

0:00If you are a person that is prone to seizures, how does the state of California allow you? Probably because he's from Florida. Oh, there he is. In Florida. 50% of them. Exactly. Well, in Florida, they actually, you know, promote it. Drove down there like a block from my house, and I turn and actually snowed s***, scraped this lady's car, scraped it. and which I shouldn't be driving. I'm hurting innocent people, and I don't have any right to drive. No, Boston Rob's right. He's at least, you know, being accountable for his actions. I concede that I'm not allowed to have a driver's license in the state of Florida and the state of Illinois. I'm not allowed to have a driver's license in the state of California, and because of those reasons. Because I can black out and have seizures like I had that day when I scratched this lady's car. How is he allowed to drive? He's not. He just does. He just does. He just does. If you've ever had a seizure, you're not allowed to have a license until you're seizure-free for so many years. Oh, boy. And obviously he's not, and so that's why you said even in the state of California, he shouldn't have been driving. And now they're trying to put me in jail because I had.

1:22Did have an actual DUI when I first moved out here, going to a dead-type reunion up in Apple Valley. A dead reunion? Well, you didn't mention that. They shouldn't give you a DUI if you're going to a dead reunion. It was a reunion. Duh. Hello. He's obviously not taking any drugs. Exactly. They want me to do six months. That should be a death sentence for me. I take like 12, 12 kinds of medications a day. And as you can see, my bone plates have healed together. And if you were to hit me in the head right now, that would all crush. Holy cow. Have to take a break. Oh, my God. Broadcasting from the Cricket Wireless Studios. You're listening to 28 Hours of the Mikey Show. On KIOZ San Diego. The following takes place between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m.

2:34Okay, so we're ready to do this. Turn my headphones off too loud. Yeah, testing one, two, three. Test one, two. Mine are too loud, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's yours? Right here. Is that good? Is that good? Where's my snare? Sky, how you doing? How you living? Sky, how you living? P1s that are guests, these are all friend P1s. How you guys doing? Make some noise? We got some friend piwongs. There's a panda in here. It's weird. Can we talk about the penguin outside? We let the panda in. There's a penguin outside now. Yeah, I know. I saw the penguin out there. It's the best. There's a penguin furry outside. Where's the resident furry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Sean? Sean! Sean! We got to get Sean. We got to get Sean. When Rob gets back, we got to send him out for Sean. Sean! You got to go hunt for Sean, Rizzle. All right, Priceman, get rid of that. I'm going to put up the movie. Hey, wait a minute. Before we start the movie, is B-Dub coming? Yeah. Cool. Look at this guy right here. Yeah, we got to get Sean here before we start it. Now, here's what we're going to do. We're going to start Top Gun here in just a second, and I'm going to tell you which one we have. The version that we have is the widescreen special collector's edition, but Eddie says...

4:01The only thing different about it is it's got some extras. I hope so. Other than that, it should be the version that everybody has. Either way you slice it, there's a lot of gay overtones in this movie. That is true. What? That is true. Any way you slice it, bro. Really? Yep. I haven't seen this movie since the late 80s. Maverick. Who does he think he is? Such a great name, though, Maverick. It's so true. What I love about Maverick is that he's sweaty, like, for a lot of the movie, and it's hot, and it's cool. Well, it's hot, and it's... I'm confused. But he's cool because he's... And it doesn't bum you out at all that the guy that's hot and sweaty is gay? No, that's like neither here nor there. I'm just saying it's cool that he sweats. Yeah, that's because she's the sweater. She's a sweater. Because I'm a sweater. And I think it'd be cool if I was sweating all the time. What are you wearing? What's up? What up? What? You're a mess. What up? I am not a mess. You are a clown. Oh, am I a mess? Yeah, Brittany, you're a mess. Is that all you have, panda? Palomino. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Okay, bitch. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'd rather be a pigeon than a panda. Palomino. I'd rather be a pigeon than a panda. Palomino. I'd rather be a pigeon than a panda. Does that work?

5:20Actually, when the Palomino is said, you have to be quiet. I respect the safe word. Palomino in your face. That doesn't count. Uncalled for. Uncalled for. All right, now, here's what we're going to do. You've got to have your movie in, and you've got to have it on the setup menu. You're going to see the Top Gun graphics on the screen. It says play. I'm going to say one, two, three, play. And when I say that, hit start. Hit the play button. We'll all be on the same page. We'll all be linked up, and you'll be able to watch the movie at home while we watch it here. Yeah, yeah, I can do it. Okay. I can do it. I'll hit play. All right, so are we ready? Oh, my gosh. We got Top Gun in. We got the main menu up. Yeah. Let's get it. And here we go. One, two, three, play. Yes. Take off. I hit the play button. Nothing happened. What? Of course. Oh, no. Of course. Stop your movie, everybody. Stop your movie. Everybody stop. Back to the back of your movie, guys. Hit menu. I hate all the thousands of people who just hit play. All right. Go back. Go back. Take two. Gutziest movie I ever saw, man. You think that's enough time? Mine from the movie already. I love it. Go back to your main menu. You're in the zone, Eddie. Have it on the main menu. I've seen this movie 8,000 times. Have it ready to hit. It's going to be the easiest whatever. Oh, I can't wait. Have it ready to hit play.

6:46Here we go. We're going to do it again. Here we go. Now, wait. Do you feel... Oh, my God. Do you guys feel that everybody's back? Wait. Because the last thing I want is for people to be like, dude, you screwed it up. Hold on. There's one more guy. Yeah. He's slow. Come on, dude. He's slow. His name's Rick. He's slapping his remote control on his leg, and he's like, it won't work. Hey, hey, stop being lazy. Get up and do it. He accidentally hit eject, and he's like, oh. Oh, dude. Son of a... All right. Here we go. We're on the main menu. We're about to hit play. I'm going to say one, two, three, play, and hit it. Here we go. One, two, three, play. There we go. Way to go, Mike. That was really good. Nailed it, Mike. That was really good, Matt. Nailed it, Mike. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. This is going to be a lot of fun. A whole lot of fun. What's up, everybody? PG, but not for long. Yeah. What does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? I think she's talking about her boots. Yeah, those are the worst. What up? My uggs. You look so ugly. That's like the old Paramount insignia. Yeah, man. You're ugly. I really love the Dolby. Dude, the score on this. Yeah. Oh, man. Don Simpson. That's when Simpson was still around, bro. Before he blew his nose out. Oh, my.

8:10Blew his nose out. True. True story, bro. Yeah? He didn't like doing coke. He liked the way it smelled. Yeah, a little bugger sugar. A little bump. On March 3rd, 1969, the United States Navy established an elite school for one of the top 1% of its pilots. Its purpose was to teach the lost art of aerial combat and to ensure that the handful of men who graduated were the best fighter pilots in the world. They succeeded. Today, the Navy calls it fighter weapons school. The Flyers call it gay. Yeah. I think the idea here, Tony Scott was like, let's just get lots of man butt and do it in slow motion. Here comes a penis into the screen. First one. Oh, no, that's a plane. That's a plane, Ashley. What? That's a plane. What? Very tough. Oh, good. I was concerned. Wasn't he with Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies? Tim Robbins? Tim Robbins? He's an Academy Award winner. What's he doing in this? Oh, we're probably good.

9:16It was more of a James Tolkien vehicle. Yeah. Marjorie Simpkin. He casts all the game movies. Right into the microphone, Sean. Right into the microphone. Sean, you got the mic right in front of you for talking it. You're going to have to put that right up to your... Yeah, Sean. We can't hear you, Sean. Pretend it's a bamboo shoot, buddy. Oh! There it is! I called the truce. One point, Rob. Wow. Little known fact, this was in San Diego, guys. No. I think we got that in. Never heard that. Little known fact. Little known in San Diego. Yeah, never heard that. Did you guys know that back there? Apparently it's always nighttime in the Pacific. Yep. Everything's very phallic. You'll notice that, seriously. Phallic? That guy's wearing a helmet. He has a...

10:16Penis. Oh, wait. Oh, wait, wait, wait. That didn't work. No. What's a bigger flame, that or Tom Cruise? Hey. Hey-o. We need somebody really hard and strong for this movie. How about Kenny Loggins? What, was Elton John too busy? Yeah. Everything is symbolism. A bunch of guys carrying their hoses. Yeah. Oh, my God. Hello. I'm telling you, man, wait till you watch this. Look at that thing. Bro. Hey. Bro. Who's that guy directing that missile to? Guys, right off the coast in San Diego. I'm telling you, these guys got... We got that. Everybody knows that. I like these fun facts. I got a lot of... I bet you do. Do they all pertain to San Diego? Just little known facts about San Diego in this movie. I think this movie was, like, real good for the Navy and recruitment and all that stuff, right? Oh, dude.

11:23It shot up 57% that year. I love fake sex. I love fake sex. And for gay guys. Every gay guy in the country wanted to join. They're like, oh, my God, that's what they look like? I want to be a fighter pilot. All aboard. By the way, did you guys hear about the gay whale? Hey, wait, you said that was San Diego, you liar. Indian Ocean, Eddie. It's right off the coast. What are you, Ashley? Wow. That wasn't even that good, Rob. Can I take your order? Those were some gay aviator guys. Hey, it's Hank Bauer. Hank Bauer. That doesn't look like Hank Bauer. That is awesome. Nice. Good call. What a cameo for that guy. What country is that? That was the Death Star. I think so. Tie Fighters. Come on, Josh. Yeah, you'd think he went from this to those Pat and Oscars commercials. Wow.

12:28Check out those sunglasses when they come back. There he is. Comic relief. I love that guy. I got a rock on a gay mustache. Over. I wonder how he flies wearing roller skates. Well, that wasn't necessary. I gotta go. We just started the movie. I gotta go, guys. Sorry. Ashley's already taking a potty break. It just started. We're three minutes in. A nice purple helmet. Hey, Merlin. I've heard that before. Oh, dude. Think about it.

13:34Goose, what is on your upper lip? It's called a gay mustache. I think you've heard of it. That looks like something chocolatey. What? Eddie, I don't get it. What's with a star? Like, is this another country? What's going on? Well done, dude. Those are the mix. Is it dogfighting? Is this real? What's going on? This is serious trouble right here. Holy shit, there's two of them. It's coming up on his rear. Oh, my gosh. Two of them. What the hell are they doing here? What's the position? What part of the country is that? What part of the country is he from? Like, what is that accent? I'll take the cuter one. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah, they don't actually have rockets. They just go pew, pew, pew. Gotcha. Hey, I got you. No, I got you. Don't tase me, bro. What's the range now? 200 miles, sir.

14:42They break 150 miles. Why is he sweating so much? They break 150 miles. Going for missile lock. No. I'll say you are. We can scare this guy out of here. Oh, hello. He said that before. All right. To a man. Got missile lock. Bingo. Oh. I got guy lock. I got guy lock. Gato's running high. Gato's running high. Big two is headed home. This guy says that when she leaves the door open. Oh, big two, headed home, big two, headed home. You proud of that? Wait a second. You proud of that? It's just a movie. I mean, proud of that. God damn it, Mustang. This is Ghost Rider. Oh, no. This bogey's all over me. He's got missile lock on me. Do I permit... Well, first of all, calm down. Right? Stop throwing a hissy. Yeah. And why is he talking to Nicolas Cage? Ghost Rider? Huh?

15:45Sean, did you hear that? Nicholas Cage. I heard it. See, he was in Ghost Rider. Sean can't focus. There's a penguin outside, and he's horny. Oh, no. Uncalled for. It's just a movie. Sean, what would be your call sign? Beaver 1 to Beaver 2. Beaver 1 to Beaver 2. That's ridiculous. It's Panda 1. I thought you called the truth. Panda 1 to Panda Express. Panda 1 to Panda Express. Come in, Panda Express. I'll have the spicy chicken. Orange chicken. I'll take some young guy. Hello. Let me get a better look. I'll take egg foo you. Fit and spin, buddy. Because everyone's got a Polaroid on their F-14. Duh. Well, it's for just such an occasion. Yeah, you do if you're precocious and fun. Yeah.

16:47That's Goose. Yeah. He's such a character. Hey, guys, I hate to ruin it for you, but he dies. Eddie. How dare you? How dare you? That was fantastic. I hope he lives forever. He doesn't really, does he? Well, you'll see. B-Dub. Sitting right in Ashley's seat. This is B-Dub's favorite movie of all time. That's awesome. B-Dub, join in. Hey, B-Dub. You're going to cry already. B-Dub, only 44 gay jokes have been made at this point. Say your line, B-Dub. Greatest line ever in a movie was in this. What is it? Ever. What is it? Hollywood looks over to Maverick and goes, gutsiest move I've ever seen, man. He uses that for everything. I don't think it was that gutsy. Oh, what's going on here? I think that they're... He's passing a stone. Bad Chinese suit? It hurts. Have you ever done it? Where's P1 Ryan?

17:51He knows. Yeah, Ryan knows what it's like. Oh. You know, you can turn on, like, a fan if you're going to do that. Hank Bauer was a great call, by the way. Oh, no question. That was an LOL, by the way. That looks like Brittany's flying. You have the ball, Maverick. No, don't start that. We're not going to do this, B-Dub. I'll start that. What? Saying every line. Come on, Mav. We're getting low on gas. Let's land this sucker. So is Cougar like a 45-year-old woman with fake cans? Pretty much. Going. Calling me Mav. Hank, orders don't matter around here, Hank. He's messed up, Mav. You boys seen an aircraft carrier around here? By aircraft carrier, I mean my penis. I hate Republicans. That's Tim Robbins.

19:14I'll explain my jokes for you guys in the back, sorry. Cliff notes. Yeah. It's not looking good. He's lost it. Yeah. That's not even his wife. Yeah, it came with a frame. Yeah. Easy. Easy. That's what he said. You can talk to him all you want. He's not going to go out with you, Tom. Right? He's a Scientology man, seriously. Right. He's like, you should really think about it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's cheap. That's not looking so good. Whoa. Britney. Doesn't San Diego look beautiful, guys? Yeah. Little no fact. What? What, Eddie? Ladies and gentlemen, a public service announcement from Lindsay Lohan. Oh! Nice work.

20:23That was a close one. Here's Ashley's back. That was a close one. She's sitting. She's going to sit with B-Dub. She's got to share the space. Got to share the space. Share the space. It's your microphone. My wife and kids, sir. I'm a store for them today. I've never even seen them. Cougar, shouldn't this role have gone to see Thomas Howell? Who are you? I'm so scared. Can you introduce me to Josh Lohan? Yeah, we see that. Let go of it. Ashley's the best. What just happened? What's going on? Hey, feed up. Take it easy. Yeah, are you guys in love or what? What are you doing? It was all Mike Cyphers, guys. I wouldn't go in there, guys. You farted. Thanks, Maverick. For nothing. For last night. Jerk. God, he's as small as you, Rob. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, really? Oh, well, accurate. Do you want me to lean down, Rob, so you can see over me?

21:30Mavericks, stand up, will you? So teeny. You don't own that plane. You don't own it either. But he can't cash. All right. You lost your qualifications as section leader three times. And you're gay. By me. You're not even married in this whole kid's five air-controlled towers and one admiral's daughter. What's up with Mimi Rogers? You need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guy. Now, what is it with you? Yeah, you. And what was up with that Penelope Cruz time? Dude, good call. Was that all just a ruse? Obviously. I'd like to bust your butt, but I can't. I know. Hello, hello, hello. Yeah, we got it, dude. Marauders. No way! Really? The movie? Oh, yeah, cue the music. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah. Thank you.

22:58Anybody tell you your head looks like a penis? Dog. Okay, whatever. Dog, dog. Dang. Ain't messing around. Hold on, pregnant pause. Hold on, guys. Good luck, gentlemen. Thank you, sir. So his comedic contribution is reciting the script? Reciting the dialogue. Yeah. Miramar, California. Hey, little no fact. Where's that? Actually, part of Mira Mesa, one of the greatest towns in San Diego ever, back in the 90s. If you're looking for some roast duck. Wow. Nothing says cooler. Hi, you're cool, yay! A lot of people just drive down the runway on their motorcycles. Yeah, totally. Oh, I wish I could do that. I feel the need, the need for man meat. No, wait. Oh, that happens later. Michael Ironside, great actor. Uh-oh. Oh, there he is. Hey, that was the dude from Heroes. Was it? Yeah. Whoa, I didn't know he was in this movie. What did he just say? Inappropriate. You're giving him a what?

24:26I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to our commanding officer at Top Gun. It's like Jeff's waking up. Is everybody just doing gay stuff in that scene? Did you see that when the lights were out? Commander Mike Metcalf. Call sign Viper. Viper? Oh, that sounds dangerous. Sean, what do you think? If I get bit by him, do you have to suck out the poison? Oh, dude. We'll make it better. Another great mustache. Mustache right, John? Why isn't he answering? Look at the fantasy going on in his head right there. Oh, look at this. Oh, yeah. You, too. He just passed him a love note. So good. Ooh, he's hot. Do you think I'm cute? Check this box. Exactly. Oh, look at that love. Get your arm off my guy. How much hairspray does that guy know? Hey, baby. Hard to get. You must always act as though we are. What are you doing? This is like the gayest movie we've ever been in. In case some of you wonder who the best is, they're up here on this platform. B-Dub. The best driver from each class has his name on it. Hey, there's that guy, Token. And they have the option. Token black guy. Sundance. There he is.

25:51That's his call sign token. Do you think your name is going to be on that plaque? Ramsey. Yes, sir. Ramsey's white. Come on. That was stupid. There's another one. There's another one. Same guy. This was the first digitized movie ever. Gentlemen, this school is about combat. And gay stuff. Dismissed. Are they about to kiss? Yeah. Clack for the alternates is down in the ladies' room. Where's the Indian and the cowboy, man? Look at those glasses. This movie is great. Homo erotica at its best. Oh, yeah. Finally a girl. That's a dude, Mike. Hi.

26:56They all have penises. Don't be fooled. This is what I call a target-rich environment. Oh, do you? I love T.J. That's what I call overcompensating. Revolution, right there. So cool. I am Batman. You want to know who the best is? That's him, Iceman. Phil. Kazanski. It's the way he flies, ice cold, no mistakes. Yeah, I remember him from Top Secret. Hey, hey, Slider. Yeah, you don't want to know how he got that name. Such a dickhead. Who's butt did you kiss to get in here? Yours. At least I'd like to. So you're flying with Iceman, huh? That was water. Hey, Mother Goose, how's it going? Nobody calls me Mother Goose. Condescending. Congratulations on Top Gun. Thank you. Sorry. The movie or the... All right. He was a good man. Still is. Still is a good man.

27:59Hey, dude. What? That's the last one. Yeah, my best. Say, you need any help? It's what? You figured it out yet? Scientology. Butt sex. Who's the best? Who's the best pilot? I mean... No, I think I'll figure that one out of my head. Control it. Control it. I've told him, like, five times. Control it. You like to work alone. He's got good caps on his teeth. Matt, you must have sold under a lucky star, huh? I mean, first the Meg, and then you guys slide in the Cougar spot. Look, let's just get this over with and take these shirts off. Let's just play volleyball right here, guys. It's coming. Relax. We got plenty of time for that. I don't know about you guys, but I'd really like to blow off some steam with a good game of volleyball. Let's just be honest. Iceman's hot. Whoa. Dude. That was kind of weird. Kind of a cool flat top. I don't know. What about the porn mass test in the back? These Coors Cutters are so good. She's 19. Really refreshing. Is that gopher in the back right there from Love Boat? It totally is. Fred Gandy? On the premise. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Come on, man. Oh, there she is. Oh, my goodness.

29:09I don't know. Never to be seen again. Kelly McGillis. 47 years old. She's hot. Milf. She's lost. Yeah, there was not a hotter chick in the bar. Kelly McGillis. She's not lost. She's lost it, Matt. Come on. She's like every junior in high school. She's got her sunglasses on in the back. Well, it's pretty bright in that bar at night. You're right. It was bright. Best move ever. Here we go. Smooth guy. How many of you guys did this, huh? I'll take care of this. No, nobody. Oh, wow. How embarrassing. What's going on here? There are two gay guys singing to me. Look at Wolfman. And once a midget. Oh, my God. So what are you doing in this gay bar? Who's that guy in the brown? He just walked in. Every program director I've ever had. Look at Wolfman in the back. He's awesome. You're gay. Yeah. They really got camaraderie back in the 80s. Look at it. It gets a little kind of edgy right here. Uh-oh. Yes, we get it. You've got rhythm. The invention of hip-hop. I've never seen that approach. It didn't work. What, having a black guy sing to you?

30:49I'm Charlotte Blackwood. No, you're not. How many phone butts is he on right now? No, it's my call sign. You're a pilot. That's right, a naval aviator. Actually, we've only done this twice. Oh, how'd you do? Crashed and burned on the first one. It wasn't pretty. What was his name? I'll tell you tomorrow, but it's looking good. Okay. Oh, wow. You're so... Let's do it. I'm older than Katie Holmes. Hi. Hi. Hey, Perry. Look at my unibrow. Can I ask you a personal question? That depends. That name tag says Long John Silver on it. I can hold my own. Great. You're holding it right now. Can I ask you a question?

31:52What's the purpose of my sweater? Hi, Perry. Hi, Dad. Speaking of flames. Dad, I'll be right back. You're going to have to buy me a beer. I have to sit and pee. Tom Cruise is like, so do I. I wiped from the front. Okay, Eddie. All right. All right. You don't have to wait for that one. You don't have to wait for that one. Thank you. I'll be here all night. All right, let's get over it. I weigh $1.20. We could probably fit. Let's talk makeup. I'm 5'5 with lifts. Did you see me in all the right moves? Do you notice how they do have to do everything where, like, she's kneeling and...

32:55I was a badass in Outsiders. Stop naming Tom Cruise movies. I can't grow facial hair. What was his name? You're gay. You couldn't have sex with her. What is that outfit? Did you get that hat at McDonald's? That's right. She has a Ph.D. in astrophysics, and she's also a civilian contractor. Oh, no. Here comes the irony. Wasn't this guy's dance outfit? That's right. I recognize those fishnets. Oh. Ouch. Oh, great. No, you didn't. Great. Put on these sunglasses. She won't over here. Oh, I don't want to talk thrust-to-weight ratios. I do.

34:07However, the MiG-28 does have a problem with its inverted flight tanks. It won't do a negative G pushover. What? The latest intelligence tells us that the most it will do is one negative... Excuse me, gay guys? Can I have your attention? Huh? Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Okay. Where's the Indian? What, you guys don't wear cowboy hats around all the time? Where's the Indian and the cop? Where did you see this? Glad I left mine in the studio. That's classified. It's what? It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Lieutenant. You can Sundance, man. Oh, there's another one. Stop with that. Why is he doing that? Oh, ma'am, it doesn't seem so in this case now, does it? So, Lieutenant. Why don't I tell everybody how gay you are? Well, we started up on his 6th when he pulled through the clouds, and then I moved in above him. Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him? It was the back of his head, miss. Because I was inverted. No, he was, man. It was a really great move. She was inverted. You were in a 4G inverted dive with a MiG-28. What does that mean? I would have told you that last night, but you were a bitch.

35:37Ouch. Well, it's actually about one and a half. It was one and a half. I've got a great... And, by the way, I put Rufy's in your drink. He's talking to the guy next to him. So she's the one... What is it, Rob? Rufy Colada? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Communicating. Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations, I would say. You know, giving him the bird. Okay, you're obviously too childish to fly. I'm sorry. I hate it when it does that. I'm sorry. Didn't you get really bald and we're on ER? Didn't you die? Twice? Yes, ma'am. All right, gentlemen, we have a hop to take. Oh. A what to take? Hop. They're going to dress up like bunnies. Sean, your take. Sean, what's your take on the hop? Lieutenant. Uh-oh. Hey, well, don't be late again. You look great, honey. Thanks, dear. Oh. How true was that? Lieutenant. That wasn't accurate. Would it have made any difference? Not in the ladies' room, no. What would have? I'm an instructor at this school. I see 20 new... Let's go black and white place and listen to Tiffany albums. I think we're in the... Hang on, I've got to check that guy's ass out. Nice scarf. Okay, go ahead. What? Hold on, let me look. Hey, one more. Okay, I'm out of here. Why are your eyebrows so dark? Can you introduce me to Iceman?

37:13I'm doing origami. Oh, here comes the sexual tension. Covering cougar while you were showboating with this mick. Oh. You have a very handsome neck. Uh-huh. Gentlemen, this is your first time. What is your breath smell like goose? Oh. Oh, okay. Just like the enemy micks. No, Eddie, sit down. Sit down. Don't do it. Sit down. Don't do it. Show me what you got, kid. Did his helmet say goose? Save that slip. Oh, I said Goose. The mountains of Imperial Valley, everybody. All right. Okay. Little known fact. Yeah? This movie was shot here in San Diego. Wow. That's impressive. I don't know if anybody hears that or not. All right, talk to me, Goose. He's still back there. He's closing in on us. He's closing fast. No. You get ready, but you can't hide. George Takai, everyone. George Takai? Yes, sir. I'm in the mood behind you. It's weird. Shulu is a pilot. Yes, I, uh...

38:27I have a clear lock on you now. Who's your co-pilot, George? It's, uh, my co-pilot is, uh... A Charmin bear? I still got him. No? A Charmin bear. That's who I envisioned to be your co-pilot. Sean, I always found it ironic that Sulu drove the Enterprise and he was Asian. Think about it. About an hour later, I wanted to fly it again. No. It's a double whammy. Okay, you're mine. You're mine, baby. Okay. Speaking of Mira Mesa. We always hit the brakes. He had a P1 bumper sticker on that thing. Chester. Chester. Chester the Molester. He's really kicking the afterburner thing, guys. They tried a lot. I really love that music, by the way. Yeah, it was a good organ. That's what he said. They had to test a lot of playing sound effects before they got that one. Let's listen to some of the other effects they tried. You don't have to read it exactly like it's written in the script. Get your butts on the hard deck. You know it. Yes, sir.

40:42Tower, this is Ghost Rider. Don't do it. You're going to get in trouble. The pattern is full. Let me just get some coffee here. Let's see. I had a little decaf earlier, so I'll go for the regular now. I'm a VIP. Watch out. Dry cleaned. You never have a second cup at home. Really busted now. Okay. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Where'd you go? This your first PEPF mirror? Open wide. No, we won. Both feet in the stirrups. 30 bucks to take that off.

41:47I will not hard deck your ass. No. Or your taint. No. Every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous. Oh, wow. Oh, wow, that was scary. Choppers, choppers. I wish that was your penis. If I were seven inches taller, I'd fight you. Listen, Midge. No points for second place. You just get naked already. Right? You guys, aren't you hot? That's what the guy brushing his teeth on the bench. Yeah. Look at this guy. All right, save that clip. Oh, bad luck with coffee. I want some butts. Well, that's a reason to have to shower again, eh, guys? Everybody in. Gentlemen. Oh, grab the soap. He had a hell of a first day. Look at how tiny he is. I mean, it's a marvel. Tom Cruise, too.

43:08You followed Commander Heatherly below after he lost sight of you. How did you ever become a leading man? Sir. Wasn't he in that Kiss tribute band? Yeah. What is it called, Kai? Uh, Rob's mini-kiss. Oh, wow. All right. I'm just saying. It's on. Game on. All right, Ham Gun. You took it. Right, in the... Then you broke another one with that circus stunt flyby. Keep standing like that, sir. Oh. That's for real. Oh, weird. Yeah, but I can drop a cherry in a shot glass. I can tie the stem into a knot in my mouth. There's something flittering on the upper right-hand corner of the screen, sir.

44:16That's my rubber dildo. Too far, Eddie. Wow. Holy Toledo. That was for you, Sarissa. That was for Sarissa. Why Sarissa? Does she enjoy those jokes? She laughed at it. Is Rob going to make a joke this half hour? Just taking a little time off. I was by the seat of his pants. Flies by the seat of his pants, lives by the seat of his pants. Man, do I love the seat of his pants. Why do you guys call me Jester? Play with his old man. Shut up. Let's get back to the seat of his pants. He was gay. He had to go into battle. Would you want him with him? Seat of his pants, sir. All right. If I was in a battle on Hillcrest, I would. I'm going to give the V over there. Oh, my God. I'm glad you're in the robe. Oh, I've been waiting for you. Looks like you've won the battle of the mustache. I've been sniffing glue all night. I'm ready. I want some man meat. I've got to be straight with you, man. Want some man meat? Right now, I just hope we graduate.

45:41And make love. You have a great mustache. I got a family to think about. I can't afford to blow this. Hey. A family movie. But you, on the other hand. Wish comes to wish you became a surgeon and die in that show. I know it's tough for you. I wouldn't let you in the academy because you're Duke Mitchell's kid. Being gay and all. Don't ask, don't tell. One eyebrow. It's pretty rough. Nervous. Plus, you're queer. A mouth too small for your face. I know. I get it. Shouldn't you be jumping on that couch? There's a reference to Oprah, guys. We got it. We got it, Eddie. It just wasn't that good, but we got it. 2006. Do anybody remember that? You're being so glib right now. Stop it. Sorry. Get out of here. Okay, I changed my mind. Come back. Yeah. Hands down. Asian major porn.

46:50Look at those. It is hot in here. Can the Navy not afford AC? Right? Like, seriously. I remember the summer, guys. It was hot. I could immediately go to guns on them. It's speed. It's too fast. I wish her lipstick was more red. Too aggressive. Well, you are 4'2". Yeah, I guess when I see something, I go right after it. Hey, overcompensating. You didn't tell me who you were the other night. You didn't give me a chance. I see aggressive. Bring your brother in here. She's writing down, you're gay, dude. He's like, why are you blonde and your eyebrows are so dark? You're always playing with that thing. What happened to your voice? It takes a lot more than just fancy flying. It takes a straight guy.

48:09Nice old Pepsi bottles. Oh, dinner tonight, 530 Sharp, 100 Laurel Drive. Where? Classified, Mike. Classified. Right up his butt. Oh, like, duh. Look at that thing. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Like a musk. Good Sundance. Put it on the board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Cruise could ever spike a ball. How high is that net? Give me a break. Oh, my gosh. Who doesn't play volleyball in their jeans? Duh. Wow, do I have a chubby. Oh, yuck. Let me check the time on my gay watch. Oh, there it is. Ooh. Time to get turned on. I mean, who's watching this? Oh, look at this.

49:15Hey, buddy. How are you? That's a great pose. Look at the gay boys in the background watching. That's safe. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Nice outfit, Goose. I wish I could play volleyball in slow motion. My first person of four points takes off their boxers. Yeah. And the butt. The guy's wearing no pants behind him, by the way. Here we go on the bench. No pants. Yeah. Is that Richard Simmons on the bench? Right. Duh. All guys watching him, by the way. Yeah. Hey, nice shorts, bro. I got some things you got to take care of. Oh, classified. One more game. Please? It's 85. I'm going to put my jacket on. Right. Yeah. For me? Yeah. This is a normal. Little known fact, Eddie? I'm driving out to Ramona. Good apple pie. Groom!

50:37Where's that, D-Dub? It's Coronado. Oh. Julie and John Robinson live in that house these days. What? Fix that. Hi, do you have a bathroom? I got to rub one out. I was just playing great volleyball. Is this even the right house? Where am I? Is there a dude that lives here? She's in there freebasing. You fooled me. You said your name was Charlie. No singing? It was good. It was quality. It's like over their heads. No, I'm just going to chill here for a little bit. I'm glad you showed up. I've had a bunch of cheese. Let's listen to records. If you don't mind, I'm going to just take a quick shower while you're finishing up here. Who does that? Hey, Rob. He doesn't take showers. What am I saying? Are you crazy? Rob hasn't said anything in a half an hour.

51:46Look at the bird. No, Charlie, he's a smart guy. That T-shirt size extra small. Did you get that at the baby gap? Show me the homo. Wrong movie. Sorry, guys. Holly, want a fag? He's drinking Chardonnay.

52:51This guy's drinking white wine with you. It's music. Yeah. He's got to get really drunk to kiss a girl. Yeah. He said, I'd like to sit down, but that couch is too small. Plus, who has wicker these days? Anyway. Do you have another bottle of wine? I'm almost ready to kiss you. Do you have any boons? Do you have another box of wine? Can you pull all your hair back? Can you put this fake mustache on real quick? Can I call you Goose? Can you fart? Oh, my God. Oh, bro. That doesn't even go. It is an aphrodisiac fart. It is? Weird. You're so juvenile. Hang on. You're so juvenile. Coaster child for gap kids right there. Look at those guns. Wow. Impressive. It disappeared. On her? Yeah. Flawless skin.

54:04Beautiful eyes. Super gay. My own man was a great fighter. But who the hell knows it's all classified. Any more boy juice? You must know. That's what I call short day. Boy juice. I wish I had a visor right now. I call it that and kiss a girl juice. It's magic. You have to do yucky stuff juice. I'm sorry for being direct. I gotta drop a deuce. I like men. This is gonna be complicated. Do you have any weird owl records? What? Can you just have, like, a construction worker? How about we put on some Wham? Or Debbie Gibson. I'm sorry about that camel toe I just showed you. Oh, my God. These are real Lee Dungarees. I guess in my case it'd be Moose Knuckle.

55:26Where the hell do you go? Tease. Looks like Ashley under the air pits. Like Maverick, this is your fifth shower today. Little known fact, this scene was filmed after the movie and her hair was already dyed black for another movie. Really? Yep. You look like a guy right now. That's the same chick? Yeah. It looks like you. That doesn't even look like her. You were in that boy ball cap. Wait, did you ever think about getting an Adam's apple? Where Adam's apple are us. Would you consider getting a guy job? I don't normally invite students to my house. Or gay guys, so this is a big step either way. I am a fruit fly. Fag hag? Any of these work? Please understand, I still have a job to do.

56:46Sure. That's more my speed. Hello. Now this is a party. Mustache ride. He doesn't even know we were flirting. Naughty. I was at Last Samurai. Top that. I'm glad we got that straight. And I love the gap between your teeth. I was in Wisdom, too, but that's not that good. Did you fart? Because I like it. What's up with the 1960 curse? I wonder how tough it is here. You know, my ass dragging like an old tired dog. Oh. Having a heart-to-heart, guys. He just made his own line. The only thing more awkward would be if Meg Ryan showed up. Yeah, right? Oh, well, there we go. Oh, my goodness. Meg Ryan showed up. How great would have you just punched her right in the face, right when she walked up? It's not even his kid. When Harry met Harry. It's Rob's.

58:04Is that right? I didn't tell her that. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I can't believe I said that. There was a secret. Hey, Hugh. Wee! Atari. I love Gallagher. Atari. Look at those graphics. Atari. So awesome. Commodore 60P makes ass. Chris, whatever. Better to retire and save your aircraft and push a bad position. Johnny, jump in here any time. You too, token. Whoa. Look at those glasses. Sexy. Nice Sally, Jesse. You made a bad choice. Dumbass. Yeah, go ahead and legal. Broadcasting from the Cricket Wireless Studios. You're listening to 28 Hours of the Mikey Show. On KIOZ San Diego.

59:04The following takes place between 11 p.m. and 12 a.m. You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead. Don't get all lightheaded. It's weird. Plus, you're just playing centipede. Great line coming, guys. Steady. Maverick makes an aggressive vertical move here, comes over the top, and he defeats the bandit with a missile shot. Yeah, he did. All over his back. Okay. Hey. Hey. No, no. Greatest line ever, thanks, Eddie. I don't care. Mine was better. Thanks, Wolfman. Hollywood. That's effed up, man.