All shows / 28 Hour Show 2008 - Rock 105.3
28 Hour Show - 2008 - Hour 22
2008
28 Hour Show 2008 - Rock 105.3KIOZRock 105.3
Titanic commentaryon air electionSkye parody songsstudio power struggleThe Inner Lightmovie tearjerkerstitanicjackroseelectionpresidentskye
The Mikey Show cast spent the end of Titanic heckling Jack and Rose's freezing farewell, then compared notes on who cried when Leonardo DiCaprio's character died. Mikey staged a listener election that made Eddie president for five minutes, and Eddie used the office to install Boston Rob, eject Skye and fill the show with anti-Skye requests. When Skye argued that the extended presidency had become a dictatorship, security repeatedly removed her while Eddie claimed additional terms. Sean then challenged Mikey, Eddie, Skye, Ashley and Boston Rob to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation's The Inner Light without mocking it, but they interrupted its emotional story with jokes about costumes, haircuts and Captain Picard's $40,000 flute.
What happened, in order
Jack and Rose on the Plank
The cast turns Titanic's freezing climax into a running argument in which Jack begs for room and air while Rose treats him like an irritating roommate.
Jackathan Won't Wake Up
Rose's whispered farewell becomes an escalating comic wake-up attempt involving warnings, an Otter Pop and the realization that Jack is dead weight.
Who Cried at Titanic
Ashley, Skye and Sean compare their first Titanic screenings and admit, or are accused of, crying when Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack died.
President for Five Minutes
Mikey announces that listener voting made Eddie president of the show for five minutes, with Boston Rob as vice president and Skye finishing last.
Eddie's First Decree
President Eddie immediately expels Skye from the studio, installs Boston Rob and invites listeners to request songs and bits mocking her.
A Second Term
After callers demand more, Mikey extends Eddie's presidency and the group gleefully argues with Skye over whether the takeover is democracy or dictatorship.
Boston Rob Reads the News
Eddie replaces Skye with Boston Rob as newsreader, who reduces the headlines to insults about Skye liking ham and Ashley sweating.
Security Removes Skye
When Skye tries to force her way back into the studio, security lifts her over a shoulder and carries her into the hallway as Eddie proposes unlimited terms.
The Inner Light Challenge
Sean introduces Star Trek's award-winning episode The Inner Light as a guaranteed tearjerker, prompting Hugo Boss jokes before the group watches it together.
The Forty-Thousand-Dollar Flute
Captain Picard finally plays the famous prop flute, and the cast mocks the tiny tune after recalling that the instrument sold for $40,000.
People mentioned
MikeyEddieSkyeSeanAshleyBoston RobLeonardo DiCaprioKate WinsletCeline DionCaptain Picard
6,901 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Same to you, I'd like a number four. Four of them. Oh, aren't you so cool. Are you still talking about your cheeseburgers? That guy's turning into an elf. You listen to me, orc. Oh. Do not talk about the women like that. Who are you, buddy? Yeah, what are you all about? Are you the fire marshal? Right now? He's fine. Don't even. Don't worry. 100%. He didn't look. He's just napping. He's taking a quick nap. Is that Edward Scissorhands? Hey, Rose, sorry to wake you up there. I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm trying to sleep. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I was having the most wonderful dream. Sorry about that. Hey, listen. What's up? I'm cold. By the way, thanks for letting me put my.
arm on this plank. Actually, it's a wonderful pillow. Hey, Rose, if you get a couple of free minutes between now and daybreak, could you breathe life into me? If you have a chance. I'm actually going to save it. Thanks, though. Okay. No problem. Can you please stop shaking? You're rocking this whole thing. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. It's so chilly, though. I don't care. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Hey, I changed my mind. Can you breathe life into me? I just can't spare any. Sorry. Just to confirm, you're holding my hand because you're not going to let go, right? Yeah. I want to make sure. Don't let go. You're saying let go. No. But you're holding my hand. You said let go? No, no, no, no. You're holding my hand. No, don't let go. It's D-O-N apostrophe T. I'm missing the first part. D, capital D, capital O, capital N, capital apostrophe, capital T. Don't let. You want a thumb wrestle? Rose, let's rochambeau for space on the plank here. Get your own plank.
Rose, remember inside that car? It was different than this, wasn't it? It's a lot different than right now. It's a little warmer. Yeah. Either way, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Hey, Rose. Rose, don't bags around my eyes. Okay. Don't mind the icicles in my hair. Forming in my... Whoa. My hair. Forget the fact that you've known me for five and a half hours. Forget the fact that I look like the Joker right now. It's the Joker and Edward Scissorhands. I wish I could have filmed Eddie's face when she started to do that. That was fantastic. Love it. Soundstage. Marco! Why don't you guys wake up? They're fine. Don't even sweat it. They're just resting. But they're blue. Yeah.
It's like the Thriller video. They're all going to start dancing. Okay, she's fine. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. She's sleeping. Oh, man. Catnap. That one's a narcoleptic. Okay. Better wake that girl up. Wake that girl up. It's water napping. Yeah, it's a thing called water nap. Yeah. It's called water napping. That dude was already dead. YouTube it. No, he's napping. He's napping. Oh, that is not... Eddie, no. Eddie. Wow. I mean... Who would laugh at that? Was that a glow worm? Nice. Oh, man. Yes. That is one... Guys, this isn't a documentary, okay? Seriously. I thought this was a documentary. It's fine. No, this never happened. Hey, Rose. Oh.
I am so comfortable. Rose? Yes, what? I'm cold. You are bugging. Yep. Hey, are you okay, Rose? Hey, your hand's really cold. I'm going to let go. No, no, no, no. Remember? But I know. I know what I said. Remember? I said don't let go. But your hand is freezing. It's really bugging. So are my feet. It's bothering me. Hey, Rose. What? Remember the car? Rewind it. Rose, this is not steamy. Oh. Let go, Rose. I dare you. I dare you to let go. Fine. Get on. I said you can get on. I changed my mind. You can get on now. Fine. Hop on. Come on. Hey. Where? Hello? Jack. Get on the dang plane. What is the matter with you? Lazy. Are you deaf or just plain dumb? Jack, if you don't.
Wake up. I'm going to let go. Yes. This is my last warning. Jack on three, okay? Jack, wake up on one. Oh, I swear I'll do it. I'm going to let go. You think I'm kidding. I'm done with my warnings. You think I'm kidding. All right, fine. Oh, that's it. I'm pissed. Jack, do you want an Otter Pop? Jackathan, wake up. I have snow cones. How about a drumstick? Alexander the Grape. Ooh, delicious. That's one woman in the water. That's just the hypothermia talking. You're just delirious from the cold. Hey, Rose, why don't we count stars together, huh, buddy? What do you think? One, two, let's start again. Dead weight. Get rid of them. Jack, sorry, gotta let go. Peace, dude, it was real. Why didn't you just yell louder? I know, why is she whispering?
She doesn't want to wake everyone up. That's cool. That's more nice of her. It's very considerate. We all can, dude. 7,000 men went in the water. Really creepy. Really creepy. But don't let go. But don't let go. I'll never. I'll never. Just be cool. Oh. Define never. I'm still alive. Hey, Mike. Yeah. Would this be a bad time to legal? Oh, no. Go ahead. Legal. You're listening to the 28-Hour Mikey Show, brought to you by Johnsonville Bratz on KIOZ, San Diego's Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. Word of the hour is sleep. Sean, would you have blown that whistle after it's been in that dead guy's mouth?
Not a chance. Even if it meant survival? Oh, God. Is that a map of Montana? Oh, my God. I can steal crap dust. With the best of them. Anyway, that was a fun trip. So, how about the time I went to Paris? So, what are you guys up to? So, then there was this other time I didn't let go. We're reminiscing all the times that we haven't let go, right? Right. Because that was my best one. Doing the greatest hits. Lady's still singing. What's up? This was the part in the movie when I was on that first date where I was trying to think of other stuff so I wouldn't cry. Where did the crying come in when DiCaprio? When Leo died. When Leo died. When Leo died. When Leo died. Yeah, basically when she let go. That was hilarious. Ash, did you see this in the movie theater?
When the first time you saw it, who did you go with? Oh, gosh. I was so young. A friend. Did you cry like a baby? Every single time. She's a baby. Skye. But you guys, don't worry. Don't worry. Because I saw Leo in the club the other month. He's alive. We got you. He's not really good. This isn't a documentary. Skye, where'd you see it? Who'd you see it with? Yeah, I went to see it at the Capitol 16 theaters. What up? Yep, we all did. Yep. And yeah, I saw it with a girlfriend. Cried like a baby. Please. That's like mandatory. Yeah. Sean? Did you see it with a girlfriend, cry like a baby? Well, I saw it with my wife, and I, you know, thought it was all right. In other words, he cried like a baby. Is there anyone else here I can squander? You with the hat. Churn me some butter. Post haste. You look squanderable. Come here. What's that Jawa doing there? Yes. You in the burka. Wow.
Is there anyone else here who wants to pretend you don't know me? Anybody with a tan? No. He didn't pull the trigger, which was good. And he ate it. In the worst way that night. So I found peanut butter and a piece of bread. Austin's Creek. I don't believe you. Continue. Shouldn't you be on Hollywood Squares? No, there wouldn't be, would there? And I've never spoken of him until now. I still have Mr. T's earrings, though. Paxton's wearing them, too. Do you get soap net on one of these? I don't want to miss my stories. Is anyone concerned that I'm wearing fishing lures in my ears? I'm wearing somebody else's face. It's very loose-fitting. Except for the nose, which is perfect, oddly. Back to Eddie's undies. And there she was.
No, no, she's got to let go of smoke damage. So what happens in Titanic 2? This time it's personal? Smell that, huh? Rolled my own. Oh, no. See you later. I love you. I'd let go of you, too. What's your name again? The weirdest hairline ever. He's like Jay. Before that, I thought of nothing but Twister. Badass hearing. Have you heard of this new band called... color me, me bad. Where's my Kurt Cobain sweater? Oh, that's not cool. That's a walking dead right there. Oh, were those Ashley's feet? Shut up. Nice mullet. Yeah, that's what my hair would look like with a mullet. Not bad. It's a look. Would it have been that difficult to slip on some shoes or slippers? Just a couple of slippers. She brought all those bags and there's no slippers in the... Okay. What does it matter with you? Loss of mine.
It's that hair. It looks exactly the same. Oh, gosh. And broken hip. It came floating back up. You let go, bitch. Oh, she still had it. Oh, she didn't have it? I had it. I didn't have it. That sucker back. It's probably worth like $50 or something. Oh. Way to look out for the grandkids. Great. Where do you think they are? That's what I do. That's just another thing I let go of. Fearlessly and boldly. Just like my dignity. That's right. Let them both float to the bottom of the ocean. Speaking of my dignity, I wear Depends. All right. Okay, well. I love me. More pictures of me. Need to fly a plane. Here I am looking like Kate Winslet, oddly. It's me and Santa Cruz. I ate that horse later.
Very stringy. Tastes like a horse. It's actually Celine Dion singing behind her. Creepy. Is it finally over? It's finally... Hey, you guys want to watch it again? At least it wasn't Wizard of Oz, bro. That is a true statement. Let's run through that 1939 classic one more time. Ah, CGI. Hey, the rave's back. The cops left. Shawnee, are you ready for a little inner light coming up here in just a few minutes? Yeah, Mike. Yeah, Mike. Yeah, Mike. Yeah, Mike. Yeah, Mike. Okay. That was so unnecessary. Oh, welcome. Welcome. I told you. Look at that. There he is. Spaghetti-o. There he is. Oh, it's Jack. Look, it's your friend Jack. He really is the departed. 150 years for you. You let go again, Rose. Please.
Yeah. Oh, clapping. They're applauding because the movie's over. You bunch of perverts. Yeah, why don't you quit looking at us over here? Yeah. Voyage. Yay. Oh, is it over? Thank God. Wow. Hopefully the listening audience enjoyed the 28-hour show 2008 movies. And? We have a very special bonus feature for you. Now, for those of you that are here, I guess they get to see it outside or no? Yeah. Is this our copy or is this the one? What's going on? You're the man. Are we going to break first? You're the man. You're the man. I can run it out to him. Are we going to take a break? What do you want to do? Should we play? Play a bit and get it all ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have a bit you could play there in the studio? Go ahead and hit it any time. Oh, go, Ashley. Run. All right, folks. We went into break, and we were trying to figure out who will be Mikey's show president for five minutes. I'm going to be stepping down for five minutes, and we need somebody to take over. Now, as everyone knows, Eddie has been my vice president for many years. And so what we've asked people to do is listen to everybody campaign this morning. Eddie, Sky, Sean, Ashley, Boston, Rob. They've all campaigned for the job. One of them is going to win. Everybody has been online voting. And ladies and gentlemen, if I could get a drumroll please, Sean, we have a winner. Ladies and gentlemen, your new president for five minutes is Eddie.
Eddie handily defeated Boston Rob. However, Boston Rob is his running mate. He's my vice president. So that will be your vice president. Coming in third place. Stop waving, Eddie. Coming in after. Keep waving. Coming in after B-Rob. Ashley with 17% of the vote. Wow. Nice. Ashley. Thanks, B-Lens. You came in third place. Not bad. Coming in fourth place, Shawnee O'Boy. And whatever, I hate all you guys. Which means that, Skye... Oh, no. Come on. You came in last place with 7% of the vote. Computerized voting is rigged. Now, wait a second, Skye. I mean, you were voting for yourself over there. I mean, you got to vote as many times as you wanted. I was not. You were allowed to do as hard a work as you wanted to.
But listen. Sorry, the P1s don't take this planet seriously. P1s have spoken. Go green. Eddie and Boston Rob, you are going. And let's hear from the P1s, 570-1053. Some people want to speak about this, as often happens when an election goes down. P1 Ryan? Yeah. Go ahead. Hey, how's it going? Good. Go ahead. I just wanted to tell everyone I had Sky's full support on this one. I think whether Earth is very important for our future. and marijuana is always great, too. I think we should get that legalized, too. There you go. Sky lost. Unfortunately, he can't speak about that there. Yeah, it's a Sky supporter, and he really wanted you to win. Really wanted you to win. P1 Herald, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Hey, I'm kind of glad Sky didn't make it because you guys definitely would have been off the air within five minutes. Oh, you're so funny. Good point. I wanted to vote for B-Rob because, you know, Eddie kind of cheated in a way. Wait, wait, wait. If by cheated, you mean used ingenuity? Then yeah, sure. Yeah, well, you know. Listen, if there's a hanging chat, it has nothing to do with me, man. That's right. I want fair and square. That's right. Well, you know, B-Rob came up with something pretty quick, man. That was pretty smooth, I got to say. P1 Tone Loke is on the line. Are you there, Tone Loke? Yeah. Go ahead. Congratulations, President Oracle. Thank you. Hey.
Let's start it off with Drama Queen. You know, here we go. You know, I promise to live up to my promises. And first of all, I'd like to have Skye leave the room. Wow. Is it starting right now? He's president. What? Is it starting right now? It starts now. It starts right now. It starts now. Okay, five minutes. Skye, he's a president. Sky is the president. We would have her just turn her mic off and keep her headphones off, but we know that won't work. You still hear her. We've done that before. Yeah, it doesn't work. Sky is now leaving the studio. Rob, come into the studio. Yes, please. Come into the studio. You are now vice president. Oh, how refreshing is this? It's unbelievable. Dude, this is the winds of change. This is the first time I've laughed in two days. See, you can do that under my reign. Exactly. You can make all those kind of jokes. Come on in, Rob. How's it feel, buddy? Throw the microphone, Boston Rob. This is awesome. You guys have until 7.55. Okay. Oh, yeah. And so, basically, it's anything you want. That guy wanted to hear a drama call. And he can absolutely hear that under my rule. Now, P1s, any songs you want to hear, Bashing Sky, we will do it for you. Yeah. Anything you want. I'm feeling good, man. I wish we'd made it longer than five minutes. I'm feeling fresh. I'm feeling sexy. And I'm feeling honey-baked. And a one and a two and a one, two, three. And I can dance. I am Sky.
I like interpretive jive. Look at me. Can't you see? I am the drama queen. I'm not apologizing for my behavior because I was really sick. I was throwing up here. I went home. I was throwing up at home. Early morning and I'm on the show. Mispronouncing and in the flow. Man, I wish we played music and I didn't have to be having to read and speak. I had just been conversating. It's conversing. The guys are making me want to cry. Life was better when I was high. I don't know how I do it every single day. I really earn my pay. And if you didn't know. We're getting out of here. By the way, I'm really sunburnt. I think I need to call Mother. Hello, Mother. It's me again. Yes, again. Yes, it's me. Will you come get me? I have a sunburn. No, of course I'm being serious. And you can take me to your place and we'll look for a water bottle. We'll put urine in it and it'll cure me. But call Kaiser first. Make sure that they're aware of this. Ramsey, get those blades moving. Come on, don't be so slow.
Oh, my goodness. I feel a headache coming on. I'm starting to hyperventilate. Yes. Now, how nice was that? Not hearing that. Oh, my God. Stop doing it. I can't believe you guys. Did you guys hear Ashley try to butt in here? Yeah, I know. She's done. She's out. The chick's unbelievable. She's out. No sweat, no weight. All right. Should we take a couple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to hear if people want to hear other stuff. All right. My P1s. Yeah. Hey, good morning, guys. What's up, man? Hey, it's P1 Leonidas. Eddie, not only am I glad that you're the best DJ in the world and president of the show, but I know you're going to have McRib Day every Friday, baby. Well, absolutely. No question about that. I love that. I love that. Let's go to hydroponics. Hey. President Eddie, I need you to override President Mikey and play the caroling of the hands. I don't need to override him. He's the outgoing president. He supported me in my campaign, and he will absolutely play that. Right, Mikey? Yes, I will. Now, let's see. I believe this is... That was it? Would you like some honey glaze with that? Would you like some honey glaze with that?
Your final words, that's why you're a great vice president. Let's go to line three. T-Rex, I believe, is on the line. Hey, the Oracle and the 08. You know it, baby. For a second term. Five more minutes. Listen, I have to interrupt here. I do have some more important business to do. I have to give another five minutes. I'm afraid I have other things to do today. And so I will be able to take over the show. But as long as Eddie is okay maintaining being president for a little while longer, your public demands it. Eddie, is that all right? Second term, absolutely. I think we're prepared for it. No question about it. Skye is in. Oh, my God. Skye is so irritated. It feels so good not having her in here. She's so irritated. You can almost hear her through the soundproof walls, though. It's scary. T-Rexes. T-Rexes. Story in the 28-hour story with Skye's mom. Yeah, we could do that for sure. T-Rex, is there a song you'd want to hear? The ham song. Oh, we could do that for sure. All right. Ham eater. How about that one, Rob?
Did you hear that? Hand me it. Think about it. Minutes is up. I've been elected for a second term. I don't recall on a second term. You're ruining this. This is America. He's assassinating my presidency. This is dictatorship. What, Ashley? Ashley's freaking out. Your levels are, like, going to pop them. Well, yeah, she's the worst. She was on the wrong microphone. She was on the wrong microphone. Oh, my God. Go ahead, Skye. Your microphone is adjusted now. I've turned it to one. This isn't a dictatorship. This is America. Get out of here. Get out. Get out. Let's call Seth Purity and get her out of here. Pam Purity? Pam Purity. Well, I don't know. I thought it was pretty fair. I mean, he called in. The peanuts have spoken. They're calling up nonstop. Well, not only. What? Really? One? More like 100. Okay.
Eddie, not only that. Zeph is coming in here. Not only that. Not only that. Zeph is now removing Skye's headphones. Not only that. I just went on the website. I just went on the website. She's still leading, Eddie. See? That's proof. She is being physically removed from the studio. Get her out of here. Hey, tase her, bro. Tase her, bro. I missed this whole song. Holy crap. Oh, here she comes. Watch a big YouTube channel. She's a head. All right, Mikey, can we go to line four? You got it. All right, what's up, man? What's up, guys? What's going on? P1 number three here. President, President Eddie. Yes. May I request of you to play the beating of Michael Jackson parody? Oh, the beating song? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I think during my reign, we could absolutely find that song. Now, wait a minute. Yeah, we got to find that. We got to find that one because you're talking about the Michael Jackson one. We have the regular beating song. Well, let's hear that. And then we'll look for the other one.
One thing we're going to do during my presidency is I have a new news girl. Oh, really? Which is my vice president, Boston Rob. Do I got to be the news girl? Hang on, we're getting a call here, guys. We're getting a call. Do you want to answer the hotline here, Eddie? Oh, sure, go ahead. Mikey Show, hello. Hi. This is P1 Sky, and I thought America was a democracy. You can hang up on that. And this is turning into a dictatorship. It's not. I'm still leading in the polls. Shut up and get out of here. Rob, you got any kind of news headlines for me? Ah, yes. Sky loves ham, and Ashley sweats too much. Perfect. That's all on the news. That is wonderful. Ashley, can you find the beating song for us, the Michael Jackson parody one? You're beating, you're beating.
It's already up there for you. Thank you. You're beating. You're beating. You're beating. You're beating. I don't know what it's called. Where is it? It's called beating. Wait. Got it. That's why I was just playing. She's the worst. She's the secretary of idiots. I think she's sabotaging you. She is. She's sabotaging us. She's sabotaging. Put it up there or you're out. She's sabotaging. Put it up or you're out. I'll dare her. I'll dare her. She's the worst. Do you want to take another phone call, Eddie? Yeah, we can take another phone call. Go ahead. Mikey Show. Hello, President Oracle. This is your friend P1 Quimby. Hello, P1 Quimby. Hello. I would like to kick it old school with a little bit of free lunch. Oh, we have that for sure. Oh, my God. This is way old school. How did we think of that? Going back in the day, man. Yeah. Still a freeloader and a free luncher. Sky. So glad she's gone. She's a good girl. Loves her ganja. I feel like we pulled down the statue of Skye. And we're throwing shoes at it. She's a good girl. Dragging his head through the street. Gets hungry about noon. We'll never pay. Doesn't matter who. When the bill comes. She looks the other way. Takes her wallet.
Get out. She's coming back in here. Get out. Coming back in here. Where? That's security. That's security. Where's that security? That's security. Phone calls. Here he comes. He's my secretary of defense. She's trying to hold the door shut. She's trying to hold the door shut. She's trying to hold the door. He got in. He's in. That security is in. Pick her up. He is removing her. There's a phone. He's picked her up. He's picked her up. Get her out of here. on his shoulder and is removing her from the studio. Acer, bro. I think one of my new policies is that I can run for more than two turns. Oh, I like that. I like that rule. What is she doing? Oh, my God. He's physically restraining her out in the hallway. He just got in here. He got her out. She's unbelievable, man. She might as well steal. The confident news girl. Yes, she's free lunch. Yes, she's free lunch. Yes, she's free lunch. Yes, she's free lunch. Yes, she's free lunch. I just got some news in. What's that, Vice President Boston Robb? Miss Sky reportedly seen this past weekend up at a Hollywood bathhouse. What a hussy. Continue. Thank you for that news headline.
And I believe we finally have the beating song. Yes, we will. Let's give that a listen. Sorry, Sky. You be quiet. I'm going to emancipate Ramsey. It's over. Let me tell you. We kind of went into a third term, and I was happy for it. That was good. Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, P1s. It was great being in office. Very, very well done. Crazy. You realize we haven't even begun the show. That happens spontaneously. Now we have material. You know what I mean? That was nuts. So prepare. We should be here until about 3 o'clock this afternoon and we'll be right back. Hey guys. I was just talking to Sean about the episode of Star Trek that we're about to watch. And he says that it won.
A Hugo Boss Award. Wow. What is that? Is that for suits or underwear? It means it smells excellent. Cologne. Cologne. Cologne. For science fiction. Hugo Weaving? Hugo Weaver? The last television episode to win a Hugo Award in this category was in the 1960s, and it was the original Star Trek. You're a dork. Wait, hang on a second. Wait a minute. Yeah. Well, it's an award given for the most finely tailored suits and episodes of Star Trek. It also won a CK1 award. That's right. A DKNY? You'll all be crying by the end of this. Different year. Wait, what's up, Ash? What's up? When are you going to get a good cry in? This is supposed to be a tear thrift. Cry, cry, cry.
All right. Well, we're going to see if... Yeah, let me give this a little setup. All right. Set it up, Mike. All right. We're going to watch an episode of Star Trek called The Inner Light. Nerd alert. It's the episode of Star Trek that made Sean cry. Oh. That's right. And so we're going to watch it right now, see if it makes us cry. I'm sure it will, Mike. I'm sure it will. It's really... Really good. Really good. Okay. Yes. In fact, a little piece of trivia for you, Mike. Oh, boy. Oh, great. In this episode, you will see Captain Picard playing a flute. That flute was auctioned off at Sotheby's. Yeah. And the... Sotheby's Kitchen? That's where Sky used to work in Moscato. No. No. It's delicious. No. No. Really good. No. Eddie would love those. And the Shatner, man. May I please? May I please? My God. May I please? You are. May I please? Good. Travelocity. Yes, I am. That's one of my best episodes. Oh, so. Your sloppy thong is making me uncomfortable.
The original price was set at $700. They raised it to $1,500. So was Sulu's. They raised it to $1,500, but it ended up selling for $40,000. Which is how much I wanted to bid on Zeth today. Well, Sean, there you go. Wow, I'm excited now. There you go. Are we ready to do this? I think we're ready, Mike. Jay, are they ready? Let's roll. Okay, now hold on. I have to set it up first, though. Oh, my gosh. We've got to get to the menu. We've got to get to the menu. Wait, hold on. Main menu. Hold on. What? There are several different ways you can get this episode. So what you do is go to the main menu, start the episode. As soon as it starts playing, hit pause, and then you'll be up to where we are. So as soon as it starts playing, hit pause. Pause. Why? Because. So we can all start at the same time. Well, why wouldn't we just all go to the main menu? Dude, the menus are all different. They're all different. If you have Trek alternate realities, it's going to be different from season five, disc seven. Yep. Yeah, but what about the people outside? Don't they have the same disc? They have the same thing. What about the trouble with troubles? Yeah, what about that? Oh, yeah. Why do you say that? Sean. And are you ready?
What about the trouble in truffles? If you'll please give me a countdown, Mike. Trouble. We'll start this. I'm going to say one, two, three, play. Tribulance. One, two, three, play. All right, here we go. To the mall. Trouble with Trinkies. Oh, this is so good. That is good. Special effects immediately. Immediately. Over or under seven fart jokes for this episode. Hold on, dude. Here's the probe. Over. That sounds gay. It's a nice members-only jacket. He's the only member. Ooh, that herpes spread quick. Is that the old lady from Titanic? Wrinkly. Why are they all wearing helmets? Reading rainbow. Lingon mullet?
What color is he? You need a tan, bro. That's Leo. That's Leo in Titanic after she let go. Oh, no. Oh, whoa. What is this, Summerstock? You should not have drank all that gin. Oh, good morning. Where'd your beard go? Where's my rave whistle? When does Darth Vader come on? What is this place? What is this place? Where is my skin flute? Am I at the four seasons of the hour? Wolverine, get ready. Engage. Why am I wearing a lavalier mic? Am I in that case? It's called Bald City. No. You're the king. I'm the king of Bald City. We will now do the safety dance. We can dance if we want to. We can leave our friends behind. Is this how it's going to be?
won't dance, then if they won't dance, then you're no friend of mine. We can dance if we want to. Shut up with the safety camera. We're combining your two favorite things, Sean. But if your friends won't dance and if you won't dance, then you're no friend of mine. When do we cry? Hey, look, it's Uranus. I'm trying to imagine Sean on his couch watching this for the first time just captivated. Oh, in awe. Hey, Sean. It was pretty damn dramatic. Yeah. Sean, I have a question. Hugo, what year did this episode come out? I don't know the exact year. It actually hasn't aired yet. It's going to air in the future. It definitely airs. Could have been. Jonathan Frakes, come in. Jonathan Chili Frakes. Yeah, I love that. Reading Rainbow. Michael Dorn. And Marina Sirtis as the person with the weird name. It's Sirtis. Russian, bless you. One, two, damn it. Paper mache. Nah, bro. That's great origami. Oh, it's CG. But I can see the strings. See ya. Okay, that was a good episode. Yeah, nice clothes, fruit. See, he's very confused right now. He's confused. What are these shorts?
You cannot walk forward. Stay away from my kids. My prisoner here. Those are total hammer pants. They're future pants. Knock it off. You've had a high fever for three days. Future pants. I guess in the future you still have mom haircuts. Do they have mom shorts? She looks real sturdy. Can someone beam me to soccer practice? Get me a Capri stun. Engage. Orange slices. Stop. I would never buy this tapestry. Is this HD? Where's your toilet? You smell. Yes. Where's the toilet here? In the future, there's Adobe. Duh.
Wow. Not every planet. What? Not every planet is as advanced as the Federation. Not every planet. What? They got magic slide doors. What are they doing? Hey, there's Al Gore. Look at that. You need 17 people to plant a tree in the future? Al Gore, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon. Bunch of idiots. Hey, what's up, dude? They have an Aquarian Society. Aquarian? What the? Tom Arnold. Right on. Yeah. Hey, guys. Wait, it's Dr. Wayne? Yeah, right. It's weird. Expectations of long life. Whatever comes... Is this the cry part? No. Okay. Yeah, make sure we don't miss it, Sean. Are they signaling them? Tell me and I'll do it. Oh, yeah, there's a symbol right there. We will get high from this tree. Hey, back on your feet. How do you feel, my friend?
You're in charge. You're touching my guns. You did not purchase your tickets to this gun show. What ship is that? In the future, they have cool Z-necks. Sean. It's a warm planet. Haynes. The eunuch. His buddy there has a diving neckline. Sorry. I apologize. A chili dog. I'm Gabablish. Grandma, I'm a ding dong. I'm gay. Your name is gay? Yes. Gay what? Partner. A waka waka waka. Yuck city. Wrong part. Wait, petty. You're the world's biggest horse's ass.
I'm sorry. Sorry. Eddie, knock it off, dude. What planet? You know what you're doing. Apparently there's bad barber shops in the future, dude. The planet comb over. Guilty as charged. Where's Joe Biden? Where is your mall? Don't laugh. Yes. Hey, Rob, how you doing? What? Sorry to wake you. Hey, Morgan Freeman's in the future. He's narrating the episode. What a weird street address. Ladies and gentlemen, the back lot in Burbank. No. He's trying to find out what's going on. Wakes up on this strange planet. Everybody seems to know him by this name he's never heard before. Yes. Is it Athens or is it Burbank? I can't decide. Hi, Margaret.
My name isn't Margaret. Do you have any more gruel? Yes, I hate to trouble you for some more porridge. They got slide doors, but they're still working with Adobe. That's stupid. And apparently they have Pottery Barn in the future. Mike, that's clearly Pier 1. It's Pier 1. Why did you worry us like that? Why do you have that haircut? Why do you have a misshapen face? No, it's true. She does. Thank you. Let me double check. Do you come from the clan of Brandon Walsh? I'm looking at your hair. Oh, this toilet is comfortable. You do come from the clan of Brandon Walsh. He is holding onto that chair for dear life. He's going. He's very upset. The chair's not going anywhere, though, bro. Freak face. Would you like some more party? Ridiculous serving.
That is the dumbest crock pot I've ever seen. That is ridiculous. What is that? What is the purpose of that? It's an alien culture, man. But what is the purpose of it? There might be a purpose. Aren't they supposed to be smarter than us? Why do you always make fun of things you don't understand? That will not fit in the microwave. Would you like some more cinnamon soup? There are no microwaves there. How do you know? Or the dishwasher. Tastes oddly of ants. They don't have dishwasher. How do you know? Have you been to this planet, bro? What are you talking about? It's delicious, isn't it? Watch this. Didn't Yoda serve that on the Dagobah system? Yeah. Remember? It tastes like raisins if raisins were poo. And made of cat. I'll make you a deal. You cut that hair off. And I won't barf this up. That's not a fair deal. Just shave it and start over. Why don't we have the same haircut? After all, you're my wife and we're in love. Cut the hair. Her hair is fine. By us, do you mean me? Like, what is this hair? Like, why am I... I'm just going to eat it. Why am I eating cumin stew? Soylent green. The happiest day of my life was... Liar. See what I mean? Gulp.
Yes, I am. What the hell is that? I can braid iron like no one's business. That's a metal band, right? That's what we mean by jamming. I hope you're getting a haircut. Iron braider. Here, let me get your dessert after this. As this dresser. I keep it in an alien sock. Eat up. This is your suppository. You're supposed to shove it in your nose, sweetheart. This is the flute. Relax. Our bad. We know, dude. Is it the one flute to rule them all? Nice wine rack in the background, though. It's the one featured in the episode, like I was telling you about before. That's right. $40,000. $40,000. $40,000. Is that all he's going to play for us? That was huge. Good job. I'm like, that's not worth it. Hot grass buns. Hot grass buns. What are you doing?
Play the flute, dude. Come on. Are you in Twisted Sister? She's in Twisted Sister. I'm going to take it. And now we're in the sick bay. Wiggle, wiggle. Get me a nose hair trimmer stat. There's bats in the bat cave. Tetris. I'm getting hyperactive. You're hyperactive. Whoa. Wow. I'm getting a Winona Judd haircut here. Yep, you're out of style. Picture a poodle with a mullet. What happened to that guy? I am unable to block it. We should destroy the probe. Okay, all right. That's a vagina on your forehead. It's not. It's a cling-on. What? Can it give us the weather? It's a press-on. No, it's a cling-on. They have an unusual cranial plate. How do you cling it on? It's just clinging there?
You know that dude's playing solitaire? That's an interesting cry. Oh, look at this. It's great. It's really fun. It's really great. Can I go home now? He's getting older, dude. What is that, a CNC? Are they all like hippies here? She's getting younger. You're still trying to figure out where you are. Plant another ganja tree. Can I get back to that life? Can I stop wearing tie-dye? He's five years old now. I really didn't think your hair could get worse. But you figured out a way. Do you have a laxative, unfamiliar wife? Can you stop wearing clothes from Mike Costa's closet? For no reason. I don't know, but four people got it, and it was hilarious. We're not going to take it. No, we ain't going to take it. We're not going to take it. Can I ask you a question?
Where's Nat? Is this a half hour or an hour? How you doing, Rob? You doing all right, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, all right. 48 minutes. 48 minutes. It's the Titanic all over. Not 47? Does this planet sink at the end? Does she let go? The sun goes supernova. Okay. And the sun goes supernova. No, Sean. This is a problem. This is great. Whoa, apparently they don't have belt loops in the future. Or Rogaine. Apparently they do have bad vests, though. Wow. Green culture. Homoerotic feelings. It's not homoerotic. Oh, is that the tree they planted, Sean? Yes.
It's five years later, and the tree is growing. I wish they would all drink the cooler. You can see gas prices right now. He's starting to give up on the idea of getting back onto the Enterprise, and he's beginning to embrace this new culture that he finds himself in. Everyone in this town gets part of their water rations to keep it alive. Seems like a pretty boring planet. Yes. Do you have Chivo? Perhaps I shall recommend a symbolic tree in each of my communities. Ah, greetings. Now, what business do we have today? Your turtleneck. We need help to increase the water supply. We think there are ways to reclaim some of our water. Will you ever get back with Rosanne? True, we are in a drought. Water rationing has produced a sizable savings. The weather pattern doesn't change. Rationing will not be enough. Who asked you over there? Yeah, gay. Have you seen Waterworld? That is how we get our water back. I've changed my name from Cayman to pipe up.