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28 Hour Show - Movies - Part 2
28 Hour Show MoviesKIOZRock 105.3
Wizard of Oz watch alongmovie commentaryHollywood triviaflying monkeysovernight radiocast banterbroadcast safe harborwizard of ozwatch alongradiocomedydorothy
Mikey gathers Skye, Sean, Eddie, Boston Rob, Ashley, Fish and the rest of the overnight crew for a synchronized, joke-heavy viewing of The Wizard of Oz. The broadcast keeps drifting away from the plot into movie trivia, the hanging-man rumor, Halloween casting and Skye's insistence that the flying monkeys are the film's scariest part. As the night wears on, Sean struggles to stay awake, Ashley is criticized for talking off microphone, and the group increasingly argues about whether the movie and its songs are unbearably long. They make it through the Wizard's exposure as a fraud and Dorothy's return home, finishing with relief and a vow not to repeat the experiment.
What happened, in order
Watch-Along Setup
Mikey explains how listeners can synchronize their Wizard of Oz DVDs while the cast delays the start for bathroom trips and Sean's absence.
Possessed DVD
The DVD repeatedly jumps to the wrong scene, Fish starts directing the room, and Sean finally returns in pajamas looking exhausted.
Twister Survival Advice
During the tornado scene, the group jokingly argues that Twister proved holding onto a pole is safer than going underground and adds a dubious Judy Garland story.
The Hanging-Man Myth
The hosts spot movement behind Dorothy and the Scarecrow, invoke the famous background-suicide rumor, and then decide it is an emu.
Tin Man Trivia
As Dorothy discovers the Tin Man, the cast recalls that Buddy Ebsen lost the role after reacting badly to the metallic makeup before turning the oil-can scene into jokes.
Cowardly Lion Arrives
Dorothy exposes the Lion as a coward, while the room checks whether sleep-deprived Sean is still awake and jokes about the character's nerves.
Halloween Casting
Ashley, Eddie, and the others debate which Oz characters they should play for Halloween until the first monkey abruptly sends the conversation elsewhere.
Flying Monkeys
Skye's dreaded flying monkeys finally appear, prompting arguments over whether they are real animals, why they seem to wear toupees, and whether this is the movie's scariest scene.
Safe-Harbor Meltdown
Eddie makes a harsh joke during the Lion's song, the cast invokes broadcast safe harbor and the FCC, and the room's fatigue turns into open irritation.
The Wizard's Bargain
The Wizard refuses the travelers' requests until they bring back the Wicked Witch's broom, while Rob watches the clock and everyone complains that the movie still is not over.
Humbug Revealed
Toto exposes the fortune-teller behind the curtain, forcing the supposed Wizard to admit he is a humbug before trying to fulfill the group's requests with symbolic awards.
Please Let It End
As Dorothy clicks her heels, the hosts replace her famous line with a repeated plea for the movie to end and then riff on her return to Kansas.
People mentioned
MikeySkyeSeanEddieBoston RobAshleyFishTrevorMike CostaJudy GarlandBuddy EbsenDorothy
9,001 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Okay, we're going to start another movie. Yes, I like this one, so I'm excited. This is The Wizard of Oz. Is there any particular version that this is of The Wizard of Oz? Extra gay. So what we want people to do is put in the Wizard of Oz DVD, and you need to go to the main menu. So get to the main menu of the Wizard of Oz DVD. Where is Sean? Where's Sean? I think he's making water. Hopefully Sean will be back soon. Bud, you can fill in. All right, so if you are watching at home right now, we need you to put your Wizard of Oz DVD in, get it to the main menu, have it ready to go on play, and what I do is I go one, two, three, play. When I say that, you hit your play button. We do it at the same time. We're all synced up, and as we make fun of the movie, You get to watch along with us. Are we ready? I didn't go to the bathroom. Eddie, do you have to go to the bathroom? I kind of do. You should do. Do it now. Yeah, come on. Do it now before we start. Some behind-the-scenes work? Just number one. Wait, I don't think that's funny. Behind-the-scenes work? Remember when Sky was doing behind-the-scenes work? What are you guys talking about? What are you talking about? B-Rob, what have you been up to?
Me? Yeah, where you been? I went and got changed. What are you changed into? Some... Let's see. Short sweatpants. My cargo sweatpants shorts. From one pair of sweatpants to another. Yes. I like the way you operate. Thank you. Very nice. Hey, what happened here? How did this... Oh, yeah, yeah. You gotta take it out. It's creepy. Eject that, Bisou. The Bisou. This is going to take a long... How long is this movie? I think it's long. No, it's 103 minutes is what it says on the box. So what's that? So it's a little over an hour and a half. It's an hour and 40 minutes. That's not that bad. Yeah, it is bad. Yeah. I was thinking like closer to three hours. I'm looking for more of like a six-minute movie. Yeah. What are you going to do for the other hours you're on the air? Mikey? Yeah. Mikey, if you like, I can give you a six-minute movie right now. Um, good. Thank you, Chase. Sounds gay. Um, you think? Wow. Good times. So Skye says the scariest part of this movie is the monkeys. Dude. Yeah. Like, that witch is nothing. I don't know what you're talking about. The witch, the monkeys are freaky. Those little stoned eyes that the witch had. Look at those. Skye's eyes. Skye's like, yeah, that's not scary. Oh.
There it goes again. Dude, this DVD is possessed. You're going to just have to reset it. Mike, I think there's ghosts in that DVD. I think if you hit play again, it's just going to go right back to that scene. I think you need to restart the program now. Oh. Fish is ordering people around, Mike. Why is Fish yelling at people at the top of his arm? I'm trying to help. I don't know. I'm trying to help. Look at that, see? Hey, everybody. Hey, Shawnee-O in the PJs. Shawnee-O boy. You're looking snazzy. Sean, you look great. Oh, he's a zombie. Look at him. What's the deal, Sean? Are you ready to party or what? Let's do this up, Sean. Come on. Hey, everybody, look at Sean. This guy is ready to party. Sean is about to snap. Baby, shut your mouth. See, Sean's going to snap. All right. Okay. Back to the main menu.
All right, are you... What is that, Abba Zaba? Abba Zaba. All right, get to the main menu. If you're watching at home, main menu of Wizard of Oz. I'm going to say one, two, three, play. When I do that, you hit the play button. Here we go. One, two, three, play. Oh, my gosh. Well done. All right. I just took my first hit of acid. Me too. Let's rock this bitch. Somebody start Pink Floyd the Wall. Yep. I can hear you guys. Really? Fish, help us out. I'm pretty comfortable. Look at this sweater. Skye. Look at that. Skye. Is she homeless? Stop it. If my husband's listening, he's going to be really mad. Boston Robb's dress is better than you right now. Skye, there are holes all over your sweatshirt. I love this sweatshirt. I won't let you shave me out of it. All right. Ah, yes. Herbert stopped. Pogtart did do the music. Ah, Murray Cutter. One of the best.
Ain't that right, Big Mike Costa? Henry Jaffa. Heil Hitler. Jack Blackhawk Dawn. Oh, look, the film editor was blank. Adrian! Hey, Kathleen Betty's over there. We're trying to do a little show. Shut up. Victor Fleming. Go ahead, Sky. Fast forward. Follow the yellow brick mat painting. I hope she trips. No panties. Oh, heads up. Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on, we'll go tell Uncle Henry and Addie M. Come on. You're a beating. Two seconds into this stupid movie. That's where we do the lynchings.
Don't bother us now, honey. This old incubator has gone bad and we're likely losing a lot of our chicks. Oh, that poor little thing. Oh, but Aunt Amy, Miss Goach hit Toto right over the back with a rake just because she says he gets in her garden and changes her nasty old cat every day. Oh, my God, is she on that? Oh, but he doesn't do it every day. She just wants her twice a week, and he can't catch her old cat anyway. And now she says she's going to get the service. And put on some deodorant. How's she coming? Hey, get easy. Johnny, is that better? You got my finger. Why don't you get your finger out of the way? Knock, knock, knock, knock. Right on my finger. Ladies and gentlemen, the first ever sexual predators. Now look, Dorothy, you ain't using your head about, Miss Gulch. Think you didn't have any brains at all. Gulch? Well, why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by Miss Gulch's place. Check this out. I haven't got an ass. Oh, Hulk, you just won't listen, that's all. Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know. Oh, you son of a... Ham! Yeah, which is which.
There's a Honeybake right there. Yeah, Skye. Not bad. Not her favorite anymore. Are you going to let that old ghost effort try and buffalo you? She ain't nothing to be afraid of. That's how boy Bloomberg eats. I'm not afraid of her. Sorry, dude. I know, you went and got the fan in everything. That's what I do. Great guy. Oh, nice upskirt shot. Again, that's how Boy Wonder has sex. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Last one. Last one. No way. She's as scared as I am. What's the matter? Go let a little old pig make a coward out of you? Look at you. What's all this jabba-wapping when there's work to be done? Mr. T says that was my part. You don't want to crack the bitch? Let's get back to our racist behavior. You all know Negroes moved in up the road. Don't start posing for it now. Here, can't work on an empty stomach, have some crullers. Gosh, Mrs. Dale. Just fries. What? It's no place for Dorothy around the pigsty. Now you go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia. Yes, and I'm going to take this plate of poo and go eat it.
Don't they put down my turd? I'm a dog. Thanks for feeding me my own poop. I can get this at home. Anyway. It's far, far away. Behind the moon. I'm having a great time, guys. How about you? Awesome. All right. About 80 years from now, Catherine McPhee will annoy the crap out of everybody with this song. Now, what are we supposed to do during these songs? Sometimes I wish upon a star. No, no, children.
Sean, is that a cock in the background? I thought it was on steroids. Dead. That's awful. That is. Awful sentiment. Yeah. Accurate, but. Wizard of Oz. Dead. Hot Halloween costume or not. Rob. Version. Always. Yes, hot. Mike. Participate in that. Sky. Sean. The ball gag. Glad we covered that. It got really weird at the end. I think that dog's retarded. Is it not singing along? Yeah. What do you want it to do? Bark along or something? Look at him. Poor thing. Probably can't see out of one eye. Mike, there's your girl. That right there is hot. That right there is a masculine, masculine jaw. Actually, no seat on that bike when she was riding. That was actually the first terrorist attack ever.
I want to meet your wife right away about Dorothy. Dorothy, what has Dorothy done? What's she done? I'm all but lame for the bite on my leg. I love how B.R. Horny cop tied her dog. She bit her dog, eh? That's my butt! That's my bottom, I tell you. I'm hitting him to the sheriff and make sure he's destroyed. Destroyed? Toto? Oh, you can't, you mustn't. That woman has bad talking. Uncle Henry doesn't let her, will you? Of course we won't. Where are we, Ann? Please, Aunt Em. Tono didn't mean to. He didn't know he was doing anything wrong. I'm the one that ought to be punished. I let him go. Okay, we'll put you to sleep. You can send me to bed without a supper. If you don't hand over that dog, I'll bring a damn suit that'll take your whole farm. There's a law of protection, folks, against dogs that bite. How would it be if she keeps you tied up? He's really gentle. Apparently, those jobs not available back then. Here's his order allowing me to take him. Unless you want to go against the law. Well, who would want to do that? I don't read, but this looks official. Stick his little dumbass in there. Subway!
Just because you own half the county doesn't mean you have the power to run the rest of us. For 23 years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you. And now, well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it. That old crazy bitch has a point, doesn't she? She's got the beating. You see that dog? Yeah. Daddy. Diva. That's a real thing. We've got to get away. Why don't you leave me alone? Yeah, stuff him in the suitcase. You think that's real? Little known fat. That's rich. Oh, Marvel Comics. Professor. Oh, awesome. And the talking heads. Well, well, house guests, eh? I'm a pedophile. No, no, no.
Now, don't tell me. You're traveling in disguise. No, that's not right. John Mark Carr, the first. You're going on a visit. No, I'm wrong. You're running away. How did you guess? Are you a page? He knows. Now, why are you running away? No, now, don't tell me. Come a hooker. No, no. Live a stripper. No, no. Big cities, big mountains, big oceans. An uncle with wandering fingers. We haven't been asked yet. He's perfectly welcome. Let's see, where were we? Do you know any? Oh, you mean the thing? Well, I never do anything without consulting my business. Let's go inside. Let's come along. I'll show you. I bought this hat from Kip Winger. This is the same genuine, magic, authentic crystal. Meth. Let me get out my magic spoon. Cleopatra first saw the approach of Julius Caesar, Mark Anthony, and so on and so on. And J-Lo. Yeah, she eventually married J-Lo.
my child for a moment in order to be better in tune with the infinite. We can't do these things without reaching out into the infinite. Yes, that's all right. Now you can open them. We'll gaze into the crystal. I see Jack Ruby. Jack Ruby? A house with a picket fence and a bar with a weatherman and a running horse. That's our farm. She's wearing a polka dot dress. Her face is careworn. That's her name. Yes, her name is Emily. That's right. She's crying. Someone has hurt her. Someone has just about broken her heart. And everybody's crazy about a sharp dress. Someone she's taken care of in sickness. I had the measles once, and she stayed right by me every minute. I had polio once. What's she doing now? Watch this. I had polio once. She's putting her hand on her heart. She's dropping down on the bed. Oh, no, no. That's all. Crystal's gone dark. You don't suppose she could really be sick, do you?
But what's this? I thought you were going along with me. I'm drunk. Now the weather's getting bad. We got a video to shoot. According to the movie Twister, if you hold on to that pole, you should be okay in a Twister. I'll definitely give that a try. Thanks for the advice. Please do. I mean, I would have thought to go underground, but... according to you. Bill Pullman and Helen Hunt held onto a pole. Just hold onto a pole and you'll be fine. Here comes the flying cow, I think. Oh, let's see. Little known fact about this scene, guys. Judy Garland was actually knocked unconscious during the scene and two bear cubs were licking her face while she was out. Wow, and that didn't wake her up? No. Weird. That was blunder.
Oh, Lenders and the Wizard of Oz? Another little known fact about this scene. Go ahead. It's very boring. Oh, great. Oh, no. Stan Humphries. This is what happens in Ashley's brain most of the time. That's a Christmas ornament. I hate this part. I hate this part. Why? Why? I get bad, you guys. Yeah, it is. It's like she's taking mushrooms. Is this the Wizard of Oz or the ring? Nice, Omar. The ranch comes to knocking. Hey, I've been on the air for a long time. It was close, dude. I'll figure it out a couple hours. Careful, D. D. Thornton. Yeah, it will be. Oh, color. Finally. We're watching Schindler's List. Who knew?
Great topic for a wedding. Ladies and gentlemen, El Cajon. The box. It's edible. It is? Yeah. Where's Gene Wilder? Makeup on, start dancing around. It's going to look like my family reunion. I'm sorry, I've always wondered, what's down the red brick? No, it's okay, you just walked on my joke, it's fine. I'm sorry. What else is new? Go ahead. I've always wondered, what's down the red brick road? The red brick road? Yeah. Eddie, what's down the red brick road? A pizza oven. You think they're illegals? There it is, two hour mark. Oh my god, this is getting weird. Pop it! Be like Rosie O'Donnell, get a paperclip. Hi, I'm a lesbian. I know it. Are you a good witch or a bad witch? Who, me? I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas. Well, is that the witch?
Have you ever seen this much witch in your life? I'm a little muddled. The Munchkins call me because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And there's the house. And here you are. Who talks like that? And that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East. What the Munchkins want to know is, are you a good witch or a bad witch? How old do you put her at? But I've already told you, I'm not a witch at all. Witches are old and ugly. 312. I put her at the head. The Munchkins. They're laughing because I am a witch. I'm Glinda, the witch of the North. You are? I beg your pardon, but I've never heard of a beautiful witch before. Only bad witches are ugly. The munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the wicked witch of the East. Oh, but if you please, what are munchkins? The little people who live in this land, it's munchkin land, and you are their national heroine. They don't have to pay a minimum wage. It's all right. You may all come out and thank her.
Still not allowed to get a driver's license though, Rob. They work for half. Oh yeah, this is where it gets good, you guys. It does? Yeah, you see them shoes, dude? Oh, you're right. They got like flowers. I wish I'd live there. Dude, I'd cool that place. Don't mess with me. You'd be smaller than them, though. No, I would be the tallest guy there. Blend right in. I think they could cook both. I don't know, little hands. Oscar Schindler hired that. Sension was this joke in Wizard of Oz, thank you. Okay.
What is that about? Oh my God, those are mini horses. Get those dogs out of here. Yeah. Pass on, somebody picked them. Yeah, they've done that, huh? Didn't we do that to Big Al Kahuna last week? Thank you. Yeah, that was annoying. Why do other munchkins sound like Mikey? Where's Condoleezza? The Democrats.
Those three parts were actually played by dudes. No, thank you. Michael J. Fox. Well, look at it. Well, my little pretty... Whoa! David Banner. It's the same chick that was right in the butt. His brows. I slowly figured this movie out, you guys. The ruby slippers. What have you done with them? Give them back to me or I'll... Or I'll? Bruno Maglish. Yeah. Who makes those? I'm the only one that knows how to use them. They're no use to you. Give them back to me. Give them back.
Keep tight inside of them. I did. I told them not to talk if they don't have a microphone. You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well. Oh, rubbish. You have no policy. Be gone before somebody drops the house on you. I'm going to drop the house on them. And as for you, my... Lesbo. Lesbo. Just try to stay up in my way. Just try. I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog, too. Yes. That was a perfect opportunity for another great white joke when I didn't do it. Looks like a really comfortable dress. I'd give anything to get out of ours altogether. Which is the way back to Kansas. I can't go the way I came. No, that's true. The only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz himself. Is he good or is he wicked? Very good, but very mysterious.
He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Seattle? Did you bring your broomstick with him? The Emerald City? Oh, I'm afraid I didn't. That's not a club in PB. Long time ago. The Munchkins will see you safely to the border of Munchkin Land. And remember, never let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment, or you will be at the mercy of the wicked witch of the West. What about all these freaks? How do I start for Emerald City? It's always best to start at the beginning. And all you do is follow the yellow brick road. Bring Frodo with you. Rule them all. I just follow the yellow brick road. Poof. Show off. People come and go so quickly. The two. The two. The two. Yeah, it is. Follow the yellow brick road. A little flat. Here we go. Follow the yellow brick road. Journey begins. Is that real? necessary. You can see where it leaves. Skip over. I know. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road
Which way do you go? Little known fact about this movie, this is Doogie Howser's favorite movie. Really? That's actually a known fact. Oh. That way is a very nice way. Who said that? Clearly a guy. He's not strong. It's clearly the guy that you know from Kansas. Wasn't he pointing the other way? Well, Doogie did for a while, but I... Why, you did say something, didn't you? And I... But I... How can't you make up your mind? That's the trouble. I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain. Only strong.
How can you talk if you haven't got a brain? Well, Mikey does it all day. Some people without brains do an awful lot of talk. Don't they? Yes, I guess you're right. How about I set you on fire? How do you do? How do you do? Very well, thank you. Oh, I'm not feeling at all well. You see, it's very catious being stuck up here all day long with a pole up your back. Where's Zulu? Oh, that's very kind of me. Very kind. My favorite kid. Can I just say there's nothing wrong with having a pole stuck up your back all day? Maybe I'll slip off and come... Oh, yes. What? There goes some of me again. Oh, no, I just keep picking it up and putting it back in again. My, it's good to be afraid. Yes. Did I scare you? I just thought you hurt yourself. What's his superpower again? I don't know, you've got to watch Heroes on Wednesday. Oh, he's the crow. You see?
I can't even get a call. They come from miles around. No, no, they did some weird thing where they film it later with the back of his head or something. I've seen this before. Well, what would you do with a brain if you had one? Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could... I could while away the hours. Confirming with the flower. Consulting with the rain. I would blow up North Korea. Busy hatching if I only had a brain. Ashley, where are you going? What? I was leaving. I didn't want her to leave. I love this part. And then I'd sit and think some more. I would not be just a nothing. My head all full of stuffing. My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry. I would be a dairy if I only had a break. Okay, okay, okay. I don't care a crow back in Kansas could do that. The crows would be scared to pieces. They would? Where's Kansas? That's where I live. And I want to get back there so badly I'm going all the way to Emerald City to get the Wizard of Oz to help me. You're going to see a wizard? Mm-hmm. Do you think if I went with you, this wizard would give me some brains? K-I-O-Z, San Diego. So everybody knows I'm getting loopy. I'm getting a little loopy myself. Witch? You know, for a second, I thought I was imagining that Mike Costa was in the room. It's really weird. It's so strange. I was hallucinating. I won't be any trouble because I don't need to think. And I won't try to manage things because I can't think. Oh, wow. Won't you take me with you? Oh, wow. Why, of course I will. You don't need to stand him now. Hooray! We'll ask to see a wizard. You're not starting out very well. Oh, I'll try. Really, I will. Thank you. To us? To us. To us. To us.
This is where the movie really picks up. Is that a toucan in the tree? Well, you know, toucans are all over Oz. You can't get rid of them. It's really a problem for a while. They try traps, pellets, everything. Have you guys noticed the green witch right there in the bushes? I didn't see any. Have you heard the myth of the guy killing himself in the background in this scene? I have. What do you think you're doing? It's an emu. Alright, it's an emu. Oh, those are those ants. No, that's Lord of the Rings again. That tree smokes a lot, huh? Come along, Dorothy.
You don't want any of those apples, too. No, they're bad apples. Oh, no. It's just that she doesn't like little green worms. Why, uh... Those trees are racist. No, they are. Ow, I heard my face. Alright, I guess that did it. That was somebody's big break. Yeah. Oh nice, Iron Man. Yeah, I love Iron Man. Part of the Tin Man originally went to Buddy Epson. It's the truth. I know. He was allergic to the face paint. That's not a little known fact. From what I understand, it gave him herpes. Herpes? Now that I didn't know. Yes. He's an oil can. Where do you want to be oil first?
Hey, Susan. Uh-oh, hello. I'm the oblongs. Well, hello. The other side. It'd be funny if he goes, I'm on an axe. You a question. That would be far out. My goodness, I can talk again. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, horotic. He poured water on him. Did that hurt? No, it feels wonderful. I've held that axe up for ages. Goodness. It's empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart.
No, he didn't. No hot? The what? No hot. The tinsmith. No hot. When a man's an empty kettle, he should be on his metal. They should come up with another melody. Just because I'm presuming that I could be kind of human if I only had a heart. I'd be tender, I'd be gentle, and all the sentimental. Yawning, loving, ah. I'm getting a little crazy. Yeah, I'm getting a little loopy. I'd be friends with the sparrows. And the boy who shoots the arrows. If I only had a heart. And I'm editing myself. Picture me a balcony. Things that are popping in my head are bad. I hear a beat.
sweet just to register emotion, jealousy, devotion, and really feel the part. I get the feeling they want to switch outfits. I could stay young and I'd lock it with a zipper if I only had a heart. You know what would help my heart? If I put on that dress. Get the knee, get the knee. Same thing, got Bo Jackson. You're just tuning in. We're watching The Wizard of Oz. You can watch it with us. Let's go. Great, I'm a little rusty yet. Get it. Get it, Rusty. That was wonderful. You know? WD-40 wasn't going to be invented for 30 more years. Well, suppose the wizard wouldn't give me one when we got there. Oh, but he will. He must.
We've come such a long way already. He does. He does. He does. Don't worry. Oh, that's not good. That's not a good sound. Oh, there's Mike's girl. You call that long? Why, you just begun. DK2. Are you my fine gentleman? Well, stay away from her. Or I'll stop actress with you. And you. Little known fact, the Wicked Witch was played by Lou Gossett Jr. Great job. Great white joke right there. I know. I chose not to say it. Freaked out the last time. I'm not afraid of her. I'll see you can take me to the wizard now, whether I get a brain or not. She's a broad eye. I'll see you reach the wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive. A heart. Let her try and make a beehive out of me. You're the best friends anybody ever had. We barely know each other. I feel as if I've known you all the time. I couldn't have, could I? I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sold together, were you? I was standing over there rusting for the longest time. Still, I wish I could remember. But I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now, don't we?
That's right. We do. To us? To us. All this talk about the whiz made Rob have to go to the bathroom. This guy? You have one? No. I thought you said, yeah, when he asked that. I thought he said, is it weird that he has one? Oh. That's weird. I don't like this forest. That's what most people... That's the hot part. Creepy. It's like Sawyer and Kane all the time. Money shot. Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals? Get over it, alright? No! They ruined my favorite show. They did not. They did. Some, but mostly lions and tigers and bears. Lions and tigers and bears. And tigers and bears. Oh my! Lions and bears. The franchise is ruined by Matt Millen.
That's your part. Oh, that's the worst. Looks like our cat Sidney. How menacing. You know what's great is you can't even tell that there's any makeup on him at all. Which one do you face? I'll fight you both together if you want. I'll fight you with one core tied behind my back. Is this a Jewish one? I'll fight you with my eyes closed. Sneaking up on me, eh? Why I oughta. Here, here, go away and let us alone. Oh, scared, huh? Afraid, huh? How long can I stay fresh in that can? Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard. Put your hands up, you lopsided bagger. Oh, we're not asking anything for that outfit, that costume. Yes, get up and teach him a lesson. Well, what's wrong with you teaching him? How bad do you think the inside of that costume smelled by the time this movie was done?
I don't know. Sean? Yeah, Sean, what do you think? Oh, I'd rather not. What are you thinking, Sean? Downward slap. Muay pie. Muay pie. Chop out. It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but when you go around picking on poor little dogs... Well, you didn't have to go and hit me, did you? Aww. Is my nose bleeding? Well, of course not. My goodness, what a fuss you're making. Well, imagine when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward. Sean, you're hanging in there? You're right. I am a coward. He's having a hard time. I haven't any courage at all. You got a fan blowing on you. I even scare myself. Can somebody put ice in front of the fan? Look at the cycles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks. Why don't you try counting sheep? I haven't had a good pastradi in a long time. Oh, that's too bad. Holy matzo. Don't you think the wizard could help him too? I don't see why not.
Why don't you come along with us? We're on our way to see the wizard now, to get him a heart. And him a brain. I'm sure he could give you some courage. Well, wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? I would. Oh, of course not. Gee, that's awfully nice of you. My life has been simply unbearable. Well, it's all right now. The wizard will fix everything. It's been in me so long. I just got to tell you how I feel. Well, come on. Yeah, it's sad, believe me, missy. When you're born to be a missy. How many times? Any other original songs? But I could show my prowess be a lion, not a mower slip I only have to learn. I can't hear you, Ashley. Well, no one can. She's not on a microphone. I'm afraid there's no denying. Why aren't you on a microphone? She's just hanging out. A fate I don't deserve. Are you going to fight Trevor again? I'd be brave as a blizzard. I'd be gentle as a lizard. I'd be clever as a lizard. If the wizard is a wizard. You know he's been trying to get me to drink all night. Just so you know. Trevor, yeah.
Make really good influence. Don't do that, Trevor. Anyways, we should be this for Halloween next to you, Eddie. No. I could be Dorothy. I'll be Dorothy. I called a tin man. Wait, Eddie, that's really weird. I don't think that's... That's not appropriate. It's really weird. I would be the scarecrow. I'll be the carrot. Oh, I hate that thing! Is that a real monkey? What is that? I don't know. Sean, are those the monkeys you had at your wedding? It was a legitimate question. Great line. Thanks, Eddie. Where have you been all my life? Right here, baby. What? Looks like Skye's house on a Friday night.
First ever margarita. Yes, fields and fields of heroin. Opiates. He can barely walk. He's trying to skip. That is so realistic. Ah, downtown San Diego. Ah, the skyline. Well, come on, then. What are we waiting for? Nothing. Petco looks so different from afar. Yeah. Why are they getting off the road? I'm feeling like Dorothy. I can't run anymore. Yeah, guys. Here, give us your hands, and we'll pull you along. When you get sleepy, do you put your hand to your forehead? Can anybody do that? I rub my eyes. I wasn't really asking, actually. I mean, okay.
I'm really anticipating it. It's so good. Sean. Sean. Sean. Sean. Help! Yourself. Kind of like you when you sleep. Yes, it is. Maybe that'll help. That's dandruff. It does help. Dorothy, you're waking up. I like that one. It's the carpet in Sam Kennison's car. Give me a bump. Give me the old cat. He is rusty. I sold it out for that one. Come on.
Oh, no, the flying monkeys. I don't know, the monkeys have toupees. I don't know, are they real monkeys? What are those? Side birds and toupees. Oh, I hate those things. Yeah! Oh, the episode of the Sopranos. This is how I picture a sneaky one-baller nasty. Hey, Eddie, look, more skipping. It's the worst song ever wrote. You don't mean that. The scariest scene in the movie. Real. Let's get to the Quidditch match. That's for the nerds. A spade and dure. Is that rip torn? It is. Where's the confetti? Sky's vocal teacher. Wow. I'm tired. Rubbing the back isn't going to make up for that. Well, okay, maybe. More like it.
No! Take your business! We want to see The Wizard! But nobody can see The Great Hards! Nobody's ever seen The Great Hards! This is unnecessary. Okay, that has nothing to do with this movie, Sean. You're keeping me awake. I like it. Hey, Sean! Knock it off! He's keeping me awake, too. She's wearing the ruby slippers. You gave her. You know, the Wizard of Oz has proved to be tougher than I thought it was going to be. Buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first lane? I don't know why that was so funny. That horse is inside. Ashley, you see that horse? Dead. It's true. It's true. It is a wizard. I got it. It is, of course.
But first I'll take you to a little place where you can tidy up a bit. What? Oh, thank you so much. Drunk drivers. These guys will give you rides all throughout downtown San Diego. That's Prince's horse. No, and never will again, I fancy. There's only one of him and he slipped. It's the horse of a different color you've heard tell about. Little purple horse. That's how we laugh a day away. Acid is fun. That's what he said. You know what they say. You can lead a horse to slaughter, but... Okay, what's going on? I just got this.
So this is the present? Oz? Very similar. In almost every way. Why is he wearing a bow? It's a tranny line. It's Oz. Look at those guys behind him. Oh, look at those guys. The Exxon Valdez. Go on KGB. They were skywriting. Surrender. Better hurry if we're going to see the western. I wear my sunglasses at night. So I can. So I can. I like your mom. Go home. If you please, sir, we want to see the wizard right away. All four of us. Nobody can see the great Oz. Not nobody, not know how. Is that a Raleigh Fingers? And I got a permanent just for the occasion. Not nobody, not know how. We're going to rock on to Electric Avenue.
And then you take higher. That was played out at 12.30. Wait here, I'll announce you at once. Did you hear that? He'll announce us at once. I've as good as got my brain. I can barely hear my heart beating. I'll be home in time for supper. In another hour, I'll be king of the forest. Long live the king. Not with that bow on your nose. See that lion? Yes, dead. I were king of the forest. Not queen, not duke, not prince. My regal robes of the father would be satin, not a cotton, not chin. What? Is that a Rachel slur? Yeah, Rachel slur. Rude. Rachel slur. Rachel slur.
Wow, that makeup is so realistic. You're an adult. Oh, my God. No, no. That's Chewie's girlfriend. That's Chewie's girlfriend. Chewie loves it. Lady. This is the worst song in the movie. I wish that was Terry Schiavo right now. Eddie. Eddie. No, don't take a bow. Eddie, don't take a bow. That was really... Thank goodness we're in safe harbor. Thank goodness we're in safe harbor. I don't think the FCC has a problem with Terry Schiavo. She's like, okay, Terry Schiavo. But you see her comment really enhances it for the listeners at home. Oh, St. Harper. Schooled on the FCC regular. Of course. Hey, you're pissing me off. I'm not kidding. I'm not.
Minus 20 minutes, buddy. Another joke. Not even a rhinoceros? Imposterous. How about a hippopotamus? I wish this movie was over us. What about a elephant? I'd map him up in cellophants. What about we're a brontosaurus? I'd show him who's king of the forest. How? How? This is the worst movie ever. I don't know what we were thinking about. What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? Come on, Asgard, his musk. Let's make some jokes. What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? What? What makes the dawn come up like sun? Why are you talking to me like that? What are you doing? Um... Shut up, Sean. Courage. You can say that again. I just pissed myself. Looks like we came a long way for nothing. I was so happy. I was on my way home. Don't cry, Dorothy. Here's some heroin. Did somebody say heroin? I never appreciated it.
Running away and hurting her feelings. It's the wizard's voice. That was not the wizard. That was Sue. She made me die. Oh my gosh. Please don't cry anymore. I'll get you into the wizard somehow. Come on. I haven't had him myself once. Oh, shut up. Pull the curtain back. Skip! That's what we're all gonna be acting like in a year. Skipping our way over to 3 FM.
All right, free ones. Oh, I like it. Oh, my God. You did it yourself. Oh, come on. Tell me when it's over. Me, too. Oh, look, it's an Xbox. Oh, look, it's Boy Wonder's apartment. Guy loves green. Guy loves green. He does love green. That's true. I want to go home. Look, it's a Stain concert. Hey, look, it's Boyz Wonder's head. Dude, you're bald! Grey White Show? There we go. Okay. If you please, Dorothy. My daughter will be Liza Minnelli. No. That's impossible. My daughter will be Rest in Development. You clanking, clattering collection of... Yes, sir. Which one are you, Jeff or Jeff? You see...
Oh, Jen needs the hogs. We were walking down the yellow brick road. Randy needs the brain. You billowing bale of bones. I mean, you wizardry. Clear. You ought to be in a better movie. Intention of granting your request. I will never watch this movie again. First, you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task. That's what Mikey looks like when he's mad at me. What if we do that? We'll have to kill her to get it. What? Bring me her brew. I'll grant your requests. Now. What? Rob, it's almost time, buddy. We're in safe harbor. Commercial break. All right, everybody. Thanks for coming. Oh, that's not over? We all really enjoyed it. That's the flying monkeys. That would be awesome. I would love that.
Shark. Do it. I'd turn back if I were you. That would be awesome. I would shark my pet. That would be awesome. Really, nobody cares in the room. Shark jitter. I know. I encourage it, actually. That's great. Here it is. Hey, that was the Owl Clash of the Titans, Sean. That didn't wake you up. I do believe in spokes. I do believe in spokes. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do.
No, no. What are those? Purple monster. They're not people. The original Transformers. Say something. Is it going to be funny? Well. All right. Well, that's you all over. They sure knocked the stuffings out of you, didn't they? Don't stand there. We've got to find Dorothy. That's what happened when Sky goes to pay the check.
You've been more in trouble to me than you're worth. Shut up. Anything? Let's get ready. Get put up. Nothing. Oh, is that Big Charlie on her chin? No, you're better than that. Okay. Let's see. What do we got here? And so are the days of our lives. Oh, she's in a pickle now. She wishes she had a pickle. Right? No, I'm sorry. We can talk about it. You are ugly. I'm talking the door. I wish I was hunting with Dick Cheney right now. Is this over yet? Please. In my face. Thank you. Now I don't have to watch this dumb movie. Again, please. Hold my strength. Oh, yeah.
I hate to think of her in there. We've got to get around. Don't cry now. We haven't got the oil can with us and you've been squeaking enough as it is. Yeah, what are these guys? I got a plan. And you're going to lead us. Yeah. Me? Yes, you. I got to get around there. That's right. Ashley. Yeah. Shut up. You're adding nothing. You're making noise. Not at all. Opposite. Opposite coming from the guy who has one joke an hour. But at least it's funny. Hey, different taste. No jokes or bad jokes. Thank you, guy. I love this. Kim Jong-il to come out.
You guys think that Ryan Seacrest is doing this exact same thing right now? I don't remember any wizards. All right. Well, that was great. Okay. That's going to wrap things up here. Okay. Well, hope y'all enjoyed that.
She's dead. You killed her. What the hell are you? I didn't mean to kill her. Really, I didn't. It's just that he was on fire. Hail to Dorothy, the wicked witch is dead. Hail to Dorothy, the wicked witch is dead. The broom. May we have it? Please, and take it, wizard. Oh, thank you so much. Now we can go back to the wizard and tell him the wicked witch is dead. The wicked witch is dead, and I believe my eyes. Why come that? We've done what you told us. We brought you the broomstick of the witch of the West. We melted her. Very resourceful. We'd like you to keep your promise to us. Please, sir. Not so fast. Not so fast. I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow. Where are we supposed to stay tonight? You've had plenty of time already. Yeah.
He's in that little photo verse. All the great detectives are dogs. Hey, you're that guy that read my fortune. The pedophile. The jig is up. I don't believe you. I'm afraid it's true. There's no other wizard except me. Yes, it's exactly so. I'm a humbug. You're a very bad man.
No, no, my dear. I'm a very good man. I'm just a... Someone needs to let him know we're still in the air. What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? And the courage that you promised Cowardly Life? I'm scared. Eddie, he's walking around in his underwear. He's walking around in his underwear in the lobby. That's really weird. Back where I come from, we have university seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. All right, guys, well, tuning in to the 17-hour show. Yes. It's impressive. Yeah, I mean, isn't that kind of a thing? How about when do you take an injury? Yeah, like, are you guys kind of, like, in your head right now, rationalizing how bad it could be, weighing that up against the reward of sleep? Yeah, yeah. I tore my tape. I pulled my labia. Some of the square rooms have many two sides of my saucy triangles. Fine, I ripped mine. Sorry. Oh, George, I've got a brain. How can I ever thank you enough? Well, you can. As you might find friends, you are a victim of disorganized thinking.
Yeah, you don't have a thing. I'm the Tin Man. She doesn't have a heart. You're the Lion, Eddie. If she were the Tin Man, she wouldn't be able to flood her apartment. Hey! Extraordinary balance. Conspicuous bravery against wicked witches. I award you the triple cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Congress. All right, President Bush. Shucks, folks. I'm speechless. It's the last politically incorrect joke in a minute. Come on, guys. You want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are. It's 1.52 a.m. What do you want? If I wasn't so worried about Sean, I'd laugh at that. That's where I come from. There are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called good deed doers. And their hearts are no bigger than yours. But they have one thing you haven't got. A testimonial.
Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that the heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. See the guy on the right? Dead. Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth? I'm not so glad about that. There won't be a sequel. What about Dorothy? Yes, how about Dorothy? Dorothy next. Ah, here comes Sean. We should leave milk and cookies out for him. You forced me into a cataclysmic decision. The only way to get Dorothy back to Kansas is for me to take her there myself. Oh, really, pedophile? I've heard that one before. Yeah. With the back windows all blacked out. Child, you cut me to the quick. I'm an old Kansas man myself. I'll tell you what, instead of returning me back to Kansas, why don't you just make the movie end? But you still have to fly in that beautiful balloon. No, I don't want it. Probably sing another song or two. Never before attempted by civilized man. I think so. I only had some credits. The balloon failed to return to the fair. I can't wait until you know what happened.
Riding? You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death. I heard smart guys. Oh, wait, that was the last one. What? I was petrified. Yeah, where am I? Eddie, I have a legitimate question. Oh, this is not... How much would someone have to pay you to wear those red shoes out on the street corner for a bet? Okay, Robert, go ahead and answer the question. The legitimate question in St. Paul... Harbor at 2 a.m. in the morning. Let's go. Does that sound like fun?
What's going on? Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the newbie. Sean's the Get back in the studio and do a little... I hope we have a plan. Oh, dude, we've got tons of stuff. Okay, because I... This is my time. Dance on. No, 6 o'clock, I'll be back. Might be idle, runner-up. Yeah. I can't see you. That'll be great. Yes, you can. Run around and walk out. He's going back on his walkabout. Stay with us, then, Dorothy.
We all love you. We don't want you to go. That's very kind of you. But this could never be like Kansas. Stop wondering what happened to me by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I going to do? Look. Here's someone who can help you. Not that stupid bubble again. That's right. It's Skye, the good witch of Escondido. Shut up. That's how she comes in every morning. Can you help me? You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to cancer. With slippers? That's right. Why didn't you tell her before? You just fought yourself back. She had to learn it for herself. What have you learned, Dorothy? That you're an idiot. I think that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Anne.
And it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire, I won't look any further than my own backyard. I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right? That's all it is. But that's so easy. I should have thought of it for you. I should have felt it in my hand. No, she had to find it out for herself. Now those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds. Oh, total two? No, total two? You know you're holding a stuffed animal. Where's Sean? I would never have found it if it hadn't been for you. Sean, they're playing with your sound effects. Sound effects? Oh, now he's extra pissed. Are you ready now? Yes.
Say goodbye, turtle. Dead dog. Yes, I'm ready now. Then close your eyes. And catch your heels together three times. I want this movie to end. I want this movie to end. I want this movie to end. It's not working. Just keep doing it. I want this movie to end. Close your eyes. I want this movie to end. Look at heels. What the hell? Wake up, honey. Where's Oscar? Place like home. There's no place like home. Nothing funnier, Blender. Dorothy. Dorothy, dear. It's Aunt Hemp, darling. Oh, honey. Hello there. Anybody home? I just dropped by. I heard the little girl got caught. I'm the pedophile. May I come in? I've been registered.
I've got no pants on. Remember me? Your old pal, huh? You're first. Me? Hickory? You couldn't forget my face, could you? Yeah, you're that retard. Corky, right? Couldn't have been, could you? We dream lots of silly things when we... This was a real, truly live place. Some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, I want to go home. Ah, mental illness. And they sent me home. This is awesome. Dream come true. Of course we believe, you know. Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home. Home. And this is my room. And you're all here. And I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again.
You know what else is a good dream? The Red Sox winning the World Series again. Hey, guys, only 84 more years. Great movie. Great movie. That was really great. Let's never do it again. All right. Priceman, hit the legal. Are you awake? All right. You're listening to the 28-hour Mikey Marathon. Brought to you by Fox 6 News on KIOZ. San Diego's rock station, Rock 105.3.