Mikeython - 2010 - Part 23
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thursday December 16 & Friday December 17, 2010
THE MIKEYTHON takes the airwaves for twenty-eight straight hours! No recap is available as the entire epic event can be downloaded from various sources, mainly at www.mikeyshow.com. This concludes the weekly recap for the Mikey Show for 2010 since day one back in February. Every show, every day they were on the air live!
FM 94.9KBZTMikeython - 2010 - FM 94.9
bible translationautismAlzheimer's diseasehandmade giftsbottle cap earrings28 hour broadcast marathonball machine gamenews media commentaryromantic crushfundraiser for Rady Children's Hospitalbibleliving bible
The broadcast was a 28-hour fundraiser marathon hosted by Mikey Morning for Rady Children's Hospital and the Autism Discovery Institute, inspired by his son Jake's autism diagnosis and his mother's Alzheimer's disease. Listeners called in with heartfelt testimonies, including how Mikey's earlier 'Living Bible' message once prevented a suicide, and his mother phoned to express pride in the cause. The show blended humor and emotion through bits like the bottle cap earrings disaster, a ball machine game that left Woods incapacitated, and a recurring bit about Woods being hit in the crotch, while also featuring a listener's nostalgic story about courting Catherine as 'Obese Mikey' with a cassette tape and poem.
What happened, in order
Living Bible Revelation
A caller explains how discovering the Living Bible paraphrase transformed his scripture understanding, contrasting its plain English with the King James Version he previously quoted, and credits it with changing his life
Mom's Call & Hospital Fundraiser
Mikey's mother calls in to express love and support for the Rady Children's Hospital and Autism Discovery Institute fundraiser, mentioning her son Jake's autism diagnosis and the show's impact on her.
Grain of Salt Perspective
After his son receives an autism diagnosis and his mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Mikey reframes the hardships as a 'grain of salt,' choosing not to be angry but to ask God what to do next.
Bottle Cap Earrings Disaster
Mikey recounts making bottle cap earrings using a sledgehammer at his apartment complex, enduring neighborhood construction noise and ending with creations that looked like 'puffy paint things that like fourth graders tr
28-Hour Marathon & Veggie Platter
During the 28-hour Mikey-thon, listener Sienna requests a veggie platter for the first time in the show's history since 2003, prompted by Woods' idea of bringing healthy food like carrots.
Ball Machine Direct Hit
The studio's ball machine fires spheres, resulting in a direct hit to Woods' crotch that buckles him over amid chaos, with balls flying everywhere and Jay and Woods continuing the game.
Corpse-Like Aftermath
Mikey observes that after the ball machine chaos, he looks like death while others appear refreshed, leading him to rewind and check if he really looked like a corpse on air.
News Witch Jokes
A discussion about news media devolves into jokes about women on TV being witches, with L.O.B. being called a sassy little witch who might have descendants from Salem.
Catherine's Poem & Obese Mikey
Mikey shares how he courted a girl named Catherine while obese by sending her a cassette tape of music and handwritten letters, one of which contained a poem he narrated, and she later scanned and sent them back.
People mentioned
MikeyMom (Mrs. M1 Hawk)JakeArthurL.O.B.WoodsJaySiennaM1 ChunkM1 Rhode IslandCatherine
9,358 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
to him way before he was ever born. But one of the things I want to point out that I wanted to point out is that the particular translation that you're quoting is cool. However, it's hard for me to understand because it uses big words. It's true. I mean, everything you said there was true and it's good and it's sound and it's correct. But I wanted to let people know that when you were reading that, there may be some people that were like, what does that mean? What does that mean? What is transgression? What is transgression? Is that Bill Shakespeare? Yeah. What is that? And so I wanted to let people know that what changed my life was, and you can see it at MikeyShow.com if you click on the help section, MikeyShow.com. What changed my life, I appreciate the phone call, man, too. Thank you, man. This translation that actually spoke English. It spoke in a way that wasn't like William Shakespeare. I got it. I understood it. It's called the Living Bible. And it's on Amazon. You can find it. It's got a green cover. It's called the Living Bible. It's paraphrased. And like if you were to read that same thing that he read in my bro Bible. That's what I call it. My bro Bible. Because it's practically like.
Bro said to bro, what's up, bro? It's real easy to understand. Here's the same thing he said, but out of mind. See if you see a difference in how easy it is to understand. But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was chastised that we might have peace. He was lashed and we were healed. We're the ones who strayed away like sheep. We who left God's paths to follow our own. Yet God laid on him the guilt and sins. Of every one of us. It's just real easy to understand. Yeah, it is. And so that's what changed my life, man. I love it. All right. That's my deal. And I love to talk about it, but I do it once a year and I do it at three o'clock in the morning. So that's my deal. And Woodsy knows that is like passion in my life. That's it, man. That's it. And, you know, it's.
I've known a lot of Christians in my life. Dude, I went to Baptist school. I went to Catholic college. It's one thing to say and it's another thing to do it and to live it. I think that's, dude, what makes me when I get angry at people that chastise you for your beliefs. Just because I know of the good things that you do that they don't know about. And that really not... really nobody knows about except for kind of the the inner circle and uh yeah that's the tough part because so i've seen so many people say one thing and do another me being one of those people at times you know and and i know even when you feel like you screw up you're the easiest person to talk to about it you know what i mean and say hey man you you hurt my feelings you're like i'm so sorry you know I mean, that's not everybody can do that, especially not the Mikey from 10 years ago. No, wouldn't do that, dude. That's what bothers me so much. And, you know, it's I'm working on it, though. I'm working on, like you said, you don't have to like everybody, but, you know, you need to love. Love is an action. Love is an action. You know, love is an action in that it's what you do. You know, I mean, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people, unfortunately, that I just I don't like. Yeah. But.
The way that I respond to them and the way that I react to them and the way that I treat them has to be loving. And I know it's hard for you, dude. I mean, I know, dude. It hurts. Bro, I was there. I was there 10 years ago. And if somebody had said to you some of the things they say to you and about you now 10 years ago, it would have been on. You know, it would have been on. Forget it. You're going to get filleted either verbally. You're going to get it. And you're just not that dude. And it's tough because I have a talent. Get you real good. You can argue. You missed your calling either maybe as a reverend or maybe an attorney. Because you can argue with the best of them. Well, I can argue and I know how to hurt people. And I did, man. I hurt people so bad. I used to hurt people so bad with my words. Because, you know, God gave me a brain that's very clever. And he gave me a vocabulary. He gave me a way with words. And when people would attack me, I had a way of hurting them with extreme prejudice. And I do not do that anymore. And it isn't because, you know, I white knuckle it on the table.
It's because I have a living God inside of me that controls me and I just don't do it. He goes, no, you're not doing that. And sometimes it is hard, man, because I go, I want to tell them how unjust they are. I want to tell them that they should try holding a mirror instead of a flashlight. I want to tell them. How evil they are. But I can't. I can't because, first of all, he says don't. And second of all, he's in control. And if I do slice him up, that's not faith. That's not faith. There's no faith involved there. That's a guy that says, oh, yeah, I believe Jesus is God. I believe Jesus is my Lord and Savior.
I'm going to tell this person to F off. Right. And I'm going to tell them that they can this and that and blah, blah, blah. But that's not that's not faith because that's what he tells me not to do that. So if I put my trust in him, then I go, I trust you enough to do what you say. And if I don't trust you enough to do what you say, that means I'm going to do what I want. And that means I don't trust you. I trust me. Right. I'm the I'm steering the bus. I'm going to do it. Yeah. And that is, that's the part that sometimes is the most challenging. Wow. Guess who's on the line? Who? Mrs. M1 Hawk. My mom? Yeah, her mom is on the line. Hi, Mama. Are you there? Hey, I'm here. How are you? Good. Good. How are you doing? You guys are sounding so awesome this morning. Thank you. Miss you.
Well, I miss you and I love you. What a way to wake up and hear these great testimonies. Yeah, that's right. I love it. Yeah, my mom's, she's, you know, she's an awesome example of what to do, you know, and how to live and how to be a mom. Well, I tried. That's all I can say. You're a very sweet lady. Oh, we love listening to you. And, Mikey, we just had to say one thing this morning. What a great role model you have been for Steve. That just means everything to us. That's a great gift to us. You know, I tell him all the time, and I'm going to tell you, I love your son so much. I love him so much, man. He means so much to me. He means so, so much to me. He does to us, too. We miss him, but we know he's in a good spot, and we're very happy. Yeah, he is, and he's changing. I know. I love that. He's becoming such an incredible man. A man. A man, that's right. Yeah. Well, I won't keep you, but we just wanted to say how much we're enjoying the show and good luck with the fundraising. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. We appreciate it. Okay, and have a Merry Christmas to everyone. Yep, me too. Thanks a lot. Love you all. All right, we'll see you. If you want to donate to Rady Children's Hospital and you want to give to the ADI, the Autism Discovery Institute, my son Jake is four.
was diagnosed with autism a few years ago. And we would love for you to make a difference for kids that have ASD, autism spectrum disorder. And it would just mean so much, so much to me. If there's anybody listening that has the ability to reach into their pockets and to, you have some sort of a way or means to be able to make a big donation. That would make such a difference in a lot of kids lives. Man, I'd love you to do it. Go to Mikey show dot com. And now there are some new items that you can bid on. And so, you know, it's actually there's some cool stuff that you can get from from actually doing this. For instance, right now we have up for bid dinner at my house.
For four people. So you get you and some friends together. And you come over to my house. All of the members of the show will be there. The bidding is at $1,525. $1,525. And you can bid on it. And you will be coming to my house to have dinner with me and my family and all the people here on the show. And Jeffrey, the guy that owns Pample Moose. He's going to come over and he's going to cook and it's going to be an awesome night. And we'd love for you to bid on that. There's also some other really cool items up. Switchfoot has a signed Hello Hurricane Collector's Edition book. They have a signed Christmas deluxe package. Some really cool stuff. There's a Drew Brees signed and framed football jersey.
Luis Castillo signed football. There is a LaDainian Tomlinson signed football. One Year of Flowers by Pro Flowers. Gary Hoey autographed guitar. Cage the Elephant autographed guitar. Stuff from Muse, Silver Sun Pickups, Alice in Chains. Some really cool stuff that you could bid on. And if you give $50 or more, you automatically get... The Mikey Thon t-shirt, which is rad. Love the Mikey Thon t-shirt. It looks really, really cool. If you want to see it, go to MikeyShow.com. We have until 10 a.m. Really want people to get in there and do something. M1 Chunk from Oceanside. What's up, man? Hey, how's it going, Mikey? How you guys doing? Good. Good. Hey, good to hear you guys. Thank you, bro. Yeah, Mikey, I just want to let the listeners know that your testimony means a lot to a lot of people, man. For me, just even in my own personal life, your testimony really actually did save my life, man. It did. Thank you, bro. I was at a point in my life where, I mean, I got saved when I was a freshman in high school.
I got to a point in my own personal life where I was actually getting ready to call it quits. I was ready to take my own life. If my radio hadn't been tuned in, literally, it was a Friday morning at 10 o'clock. You were sharing your testimony. If I hadn't had my radio on, I would have gone through with it, man. Oh, dude. This is my heart, man. And, you know, just hearing your testimony, like, really brought me back. Just, you know, made me put my own faith into perspective. Dude, that is so great. That is so great. It is, man. And it's all by God's grace and all by his glory, man. Dude. And I thank him so much just, you know, just for your testimony alone. You know, like, because there's a lot of guys out there that don't, you know, a lot of people actually out there that don't really want to hear it. You know, like. You know, like Wiz was saying earlier, you know, like, I know he gets upset, too, when people freak out. You have no idea. You know, I get the same way, like, you know, hearing people like, oh, you know, I don't want to hear his, you know, his Bible trumpet stuff on a Friday, like, you know, I want to hear my music, like, you know, so just give it a chance, you know, and, you know, a lot of friends of mine now are actually, you know, hearing, you know, hearing what you have to say, and they're asking a lot of questions, and it's all by God's grace, man.
You know, I just want to share that with you guys. And thank you guys so much just for what you do. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. I appreciate that a lot. You know, my thing is, you know, give it a chance or don't, but don't chastise. You know what I mean? Don't call names and don't, you know, don't put it down. I mean, it's ridiculous. Well, just remember, man, anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And so when people get angry about it, I usually tend to believe that it is out of a fear. That they're afraid that they're doing something wrong. And so it makes them afraid and they get angry. Or maybe they feel that God has let them down because their mom died or their son died or someone died. And they feel that God let them down. And so when I talk about God, they get angry because it brings back hurt. It brings back sadness. And they get angry. And, you know, what I want to tell people in that situation is that you have a choice to make. And when my son was diagnosed with autism, it was on a Wednesday.
And the next day was Thursday, and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Now, I could have, and at the time, you know, I was very in love with God. I still am. Now, at the time, I could have said, now, here I am doing all this stuff, and I love you and all this, and you're going to give my son autism? And you're going to give my mom Alzheimer's disease? And I didn't do that. I said, oh, man, you know what? You're going to get me through this. You're going to get us through this. And I realized that this life is a grain of salt. It's a grain of sand on a beach. And so it's not about why this. It's about what next. My mom's got Alzheimer's. My son's got autism. Okay, Lord, what do I do? How do I?
How do I find you in it? And here we are at 419 in the morning, and we've raised $10,000 for Rady Children's Hospital. And over the years, we've raised $60,000 or $65,000. And so that's $75,000 that would not have been raised had my son, had I not been given the gift of my son having autism. Had I not been given the incredible gift of my son having autism, then Rady Children's Hospital wouldn't have had $75,000 that they could use in lots of different ways. Because I just wouldn't have had autism as my cause. And I didn't get angry at him. I love him. I love him. I love him so much. And he loves me back.
And he takes care of me. And a lot of people, and thank you for the call, man. I love you, Chung. Thank you so much for the call, man. Yeah, no worries, my boy. A lot of people say, you know, it's just a crutch. And I say to that, you bet it is. Yes. Yes, it is a crutch. Let me explain. I'm broken. A lot of us are broken. We're operating on broken legs. And I have a crutch that helps me stand up stronger and help me walk. As opposed to a lot of other people that are sort of limping in pain. Limping in pain. I have a crutch. I have an incredible light. You know, I used to be really afraid of the dark. I used to be really afraid of the dark. I started to read the Bible. I walk out in the garage now. Sometimes it's dark. And I'm like, what do I got to worry about? He's right here. You know, I think about enemies that I have. Thieving, lying enemies. And I think to myself, what do I care? If it's God versus them in a cage match, I wonder who wins. I wonder who wins. That's all.
M1 Arthur from OB is on the line. What's up, Arthur? Hey, not much, guys. How are you doing this morning? Good. Rebecca? She is not, man. She is sleeping. Out cold. Out. She was asleep by the end of Waterworld when I was riding home. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been listening to you guys the entire shift at work. I mean, um... Shift. Shift or ship. I hit it just in case. Did you? Just in case. Just in case. Rapid succession. There you go. Yeah, actually, I called during the Ask the Girls session earlier, and my battery died in my MP3 player, and then I put a new one in like four hours later, and you guys are still going? I'm like, yay, cool. You guys and your shenanigans. That's awesome. As soon as I got home, I jumped online, and you guys got another 50 coming from me. There it is. That's awesome, dude. Thank you very much.
Thank you, dude. Thank you for showing all your support for this cause. I mean, it's pretty awesome. Thank you, bro. I do diabetes rides every year. I do the Tour de Cure. It's a century ride in Solana Beach area. Been doing that for five years for, well, mostly because my grandmother, she died about four years ago. Low insulin. Nobody knew she would die that. Yeah. Brutal. No one knew. She just never woke up one morning. That's sad. That's brutal. Sorry to hear that. She's on in a better place. Yep. There you go, man. Hey, thank you for the call. I appreciate it, Arthur. No problem, man. Thanks. Let's see. All right, so let's get to some show stuff because we do have so much show stuff. Man, you look at the schedule that we had.
Now, we did get to a lot of it. I mean, we really did. Dude, I'm telling you, as I'm looking at it, we really did get to a whole bunch of it. We got to, like, seven of these things. We probably spent, well, Jay spent some time on his own, but we probably spent, like, three hours just making sure we got things in the right place, too. Yeah. Well, I'm looking at it, and some things really did come together in a pretty cool way. Oh, yeah. So. As I'm going through it, I'm like, wow. Some pretty good stuff on here. So we just call it a day. Everybody high fives. I'm telling you we're in the home stretch. I don't believe you. We have five and a half hours. Who wants to snuggle? It feels like the home stretch, especially if we're going to have a live studio audience in from six to ten. That always makes things go quick because they bring in the energy. That is correct. And it will be soon.
All right. I got a topic for you. People can call and tell you. Tell me what you think about this. Where do we stand on handmade gifts? We stand on handmade gifts. Now, I'm talking the little mini pillow. You know? Yep. It says, God bless you or something. Yeah. Or Mike. Oh, yeah. Mike. Woods. Woods. I think, let's say it came from a listener. Let's say a listener brought us something handmade. I say, badass. Because, you know what? I don't really know you. We have this on-air kind of relationship or whatever. I think that's badass and it's personal. If it's my buddy and he's hand-making me a gift, I'm like, maybe just save your money.
Really? Save your time. See, I'm like, whoa. Damn it, now that sounds like a D. No, it doesn't sound like a D. I just have a different way of looking at it. I'm like, you actually took that time? You? Depends on what it... If it's a hand-carved birdhouse, I'm like, wow, that's incredible. Woods, if you made me a pillow, I'd go, Woods made me a pillow. Wouldn't you be like, what am I going to do with this thing? No, I would be like... I can't believe he took that time. Oh, man. If Woods made me a little pillow, I'd be like, great. Just another adding to the collection of stuff I don't need. You know how I'd feel that way? I would feel that way if he bought me a pillow. I'd be like, save your money, pal. What am I going to do with this? You could re-gift it if he bought it. I know what I'd do with a pillow right now. 100%. But if he made me a pillow, I'd be like, this is a keeper. Save your time and your fingers next year. No way. If L.O.B., if you made me something, you could have easily gone to bed, bath and beyond. It's true. And you could have easily been like plopped down. Yeah. 16 bucks, whatever. But if you took an hour and a half of your time and life to do something for me.
That's pretty nice. Yeah, I appreciate the sentiment. Yeah, it's not only nice. It's like, you like me. You don't dislike me. But maybe if you give me a tiny pillow, you don't know me that well. Because what am I going to do with a tiny pillow? No, no, no. If you're making somebody a pillow, you know I'm pretty good. If there's time and love in it, it's different than if somebody takes two paper clips or two clothespins, glues them together, and puts... reindeer antlers on it and calls it an ornament that's different yeah that's called garbage trash garbage yeah if it doesn't take any thought and you put some elmers and yeah yeah there's nothing there's no thought but sometimes things look like they took no time just because the person's not very crafty and it ends up looking like a piece of junk yeah so how do you determine you
I think you can. I think you can tell. You can tell. I think you can. This is not junk. I spend a lot of time on things before and it comes out. And I'm like, that's not what I had in my head. Like what? Like I went through this phase where I was making bottle cap earrings. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. And I saw them in the store. I was like, that is so rad. And like that's easy enough. And I went to BevMo and picked out like specialty sodas and beers that had cool bottle caps. Oh, wow. By the time I smashed them down with a sledgehammer, they were all scratched up and the designs were ruined. I was like, cool. Do you ever make earrings out of garbage? You smashed down caps from BevMo bottles. Yeah. With a sledgehammer. Sledgehammer. How about a regular hammer? It didn't work. Trust me. Okay, L.O.B. Just flipped them. Where did you do it? In my house. Your house. Yeah, on a wooden block. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Your house or your apartment? Yeah, my apartment. Oh. Upstairs or down? Let's see. Where did I live when I did that? I think upstairs. Okay. Yeah. On a block of wood. Yeah, on a table, on a block of wood.
Okay, so you didn't have anyone else living in the apartment complex. No one lived in there. It was vacant except for you. No, no, no. There was plenty of people in there. Well, that can't be right because that would mean that you were pounding with a sledgehammer on a table. But I did it in the middle of the day. There was plenty of construction all over the neighborhood. Can you imagine? I can't. I can't. You're just trying to take a nap. Oh, dude. Oh, man. I thought I had it down. I went through magazines and I was like, okay, I'm going to put like, get the cool bottle caps on the other side. The cool ones. Yeah. So how's that work? I went to BevMo and I don't even remember what it was, but it was a hummingbird. It was a white cap with a pink hummingbird on it. Kick ass. Oh, it's hummingbird soda. Delicious. No, it was like some red nectar beer or something like that. I ended up pouring half of it out because it was all sweet and gross. Yeah, that is sweet, gross beer. Yeah. But the bottle cap. I was like, I'm going to make three pairs of earrings, and they're going to be awesome and handmade and unique, and people are going to be like, where'd you get those from? I'm going to be like, I made them. Yeah, don't worry about it. And I might start selling them. Oh, wow. I tried to sell my guitar pick earrings, but I only sold a couple pairs.
Okay, so you took the sledgehammer and a block of wood and pow, pow, pow. And then what would you do next? Then I took a nail to make a hole for where the, yeah. Again, in the apartment complex, there on the block of wood, just pow, pow, pow. But that, with a sharp nail, all you need to do is... Just really once to make, to penetrate. To penetrate. The little tiny hole. And then what? Then what would you do? Then I put a hook on them, but they ended up looking like junk. They looked like puffy paint things that like fourth graders tried to make. It wasn't what I had in my head, and it turned out so bad, and I was like, I'm supposed to be giving this to someone for their 30th birthday? I don't think so. Did you? No. You never gave one away. I wore them out to see if anyone would be like, hey, those are cool. Those are really cool. Nothing. My sister was like, what's in your ears? Oh, my gosh. I want to see it. Oh, I have them somewhere. Please. But things can go awry. I will. Wear them. That's so awesome. So, Woods, you're out on it.
I mean, it just depends. I got to see what it is. You better have put some thought into it. Yeah. How do you feel about like the jar, like the mason jar that comes with like the layered levels of ingredients for the cookies that you have to now make? All in. I got to make my own present. So the ingredients are in there? Yeah. And I did this a couple of years. You take a mason jar and it's like, say the recipe calls for like two cups of sugar. Yeah. Four cups of flour or whatever. I'm not a baker. And then you layer it up and you try to make it look all nice and everything. That takes time and effort. Yeah, not really. And it's caring. I know, but it did take time and it took your effort and it was caring and it was thoughtful. You know what else takes effort? What? Making those cookies. Oh, boy. But you can tie a little recipe to them because some people like to, you know, they add. Because some of the oil and stuff like that, that's up to the person. If you want them chunky or like flat. What's nice when they're super fresh, too, so they don't, you know, sit a day and then you give them to me. It's like hot out of the oven is the way cookies should be made. But this is just ingredients, pal. I know. You have to make your own. I know. But I bet she made it all artsy, you know? Yeah. Maybe I just put my own flour and sugar. Maybe I don't need you to separate it for me. Maybe it looks awesome when a chick does that. Kim makes this stuff called limoncello.
She takes the rinds of lemons and mixes it with absolute, and it has to sit for like three months in the cupboard. Wow. And she stirs it, and then when it finally gets where the lemon pills snap. You throw it away. Jasper got into the lemon chillin'. You pour in the vodka at that point, and it makes this real thick, lemony. It's like almost sorbet, but it's alcoholic. Oh, wow. I just got alcohol. What do you do with it? You drink it. She gives it little bottles. It's like a sipping. Maybe you just have a shot of vodka with some lemon in it. No, this stuff is delicious. Maybe get some lemon vodka. Maybe get some citron. Once you have some, it'll blow your mind. Will it? It'll blow your mind? Not you, Mikey. Yeah, it would blow my mind. It would blow your mind. Ruin you. Ruin years of hard work and dedication. That's right. Seven years, eight years. Surprise. I wish I could take a USB cord and put it in my brain. And then the output would be what I saw in my head. Because I have a lot of good intentions. I want to know what her bottle cap earrings looked like in her head. I saw them in the store. And they were like... Why not buy them? Because I was like, I can make those for way cheaper. They were like $35 for bottle cap earrings. You're that girl. You're like, I can make Rockin' Republic jeans.
Her kid's like, oh, kick out. Plus, Mikey, they were like Dia de los Muertes or whatever it is. And I was like, oh, I'm going to make them with my own designs, but that's a cool idea, you know? That means Day of the Dead, I think. I like Dia de los Muertes, but, you know, I'm going to do some Hummingbird ones. I wanted my own. I want Orange Crush. And I was like, I'm going to go through an entire stack of magazines and try to find cool things that I can put shellac onto the back of these bottle caps. Right. Oh, boy. You were like, why should I be charged the surcharge of that ridiculous effort when I can do this on my own? And not paying taxes. It took me between the shopping for the stuff, the looking through the magazine, buying the stuff from Michael's, sledgehammering, everything. Like six hours to make a crappy pair of earrings. And probably $80. It probably was the $35. I could have just bought the Dio de los Muertes or whatever it's called. Let me tell you. I was going to frame. When I framed that, to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. Or no, wait. Was that it? It was something else. I needed to get a frame for something. I don't remember what. And I had to go to Michael's. And it was packed. I was the only man in the store.
A lot of chicks in there. That place is cool. Hey, listen, fellas. If you want to meet girls, that's where they are. Yeah. They're all there. Mm-hmm. All of them. They're all at Michael's. Yep. Yep. There's no dudes at Michael's. Or you can go to the Albertsons in San Alejo Hills if you want to meet girls. There's a million of them out there. At Albertsons? Yes. Yeah, but there's guys in there, too. It's cougarific. It's mostly girls. It's all girls. I walked in. What's he doing here? You're not allowed in here. It's like a woman's dressing room going into my house. No, I've seen some guys in there. Maybe not big, tatted, scary guys like you. More than likely. She just called you scary. I would like to get some yarn. Here's what I need. Yes, you can help me. I need yarn.
I need a 16-penny nail. I need some canvas. I need some oils. What are you making, sir? It's kind of a surprise. Oh, boy. It sounds like it. 16-penny nail? I need a 16-penny nail. What is that? It's a nail. It's a penny. I also need some oils. I need some... Body paint? No. Oil paint? Yeah, oil paint. It needs to be non-toxic. So I'm willing to pay. Good luck. Maybe we can get some vegetable oil-based paint for you. Could do that. I'll definitely do that. Definitely paint. Sounds fabulous. I'll definitely paint with stuff that was made out of carrots. Sounds delicious. Sounds familiar. Oh, man. Didn't you do your living room with, like, turnip-based paint? Yep. We were going to. And garbage. Do-do. I bet.
We went with the hardcore stuff. Sure was green, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, it sure was. Hotline, Jay. Maybe it's Jasper. It's Jasper. You guys love to say the word Jasper in Jasper. Everyone just overuse a joke? Jasper. For 28 hours. 28 straight. Delirious. Yeah. You guys delirious? Yeah. I'm loopy. I've lost it. I'm loopy. I feel like a bag of... Butt. Back of butt. Yes. Right now. Hey, it's Sienna. Oh. Hi, Sienna. Don't hate me, you guys. What? I don't hate you because you're beautiful. I don't hate you. You sound really good. Oh, yeah. If it makes me feel any better, I really didn't sleep that much either. You didn't? No. You sound energized. Well, just because I'm excited to be back. It was really hard for me to leave you guys, and I'm on my way back. I'm excited. Here's the deal. I love you all more than anything.
I would not be sad to leave any of you right now. I would be... No, you don't want to miss out. Oh, yes, I do. I want to miss out so bad. I don't want to close my eyes and I don't want to fall asleep. I'll tell you what. You want to miss a thing? I don't want to miss a thing. If Mike said, hey, Woodsy, Dave Grohl's coming in here at 9.30. Okay? He's going to play a half an hour set. You can wait. He wants you to jam with him. You can gut it out and meet the band and pictures and the whole bit. Or you can split now. Here's exactly what you'd hear. Take to the house. I'm so tired. I didn't think I would be. I'm so tired. What can I bring you that will make you happy? Methamphetamine. Red Bull? We have Red Bull in here. We do? Is it sugar-free? I'll tell you what you could bring that would make me happy. I want sugared. Donuts. Donuts? Oh, my gosh. Donuts. No. Donuts would make me feel so good. I can't eat anymore. I could eat some donuts. I will stop and get donuts. You're a good woman. I'm going to have to drive out of my way because it's under La Jolla. You're a good woman. What kind do you want? Tell me what kind so I make sure I get the right happiness level. I want...
Chocolate glazed round donuts. Not the bars. Okay. Chocolate glazed round donuts. I just want glazed. So, the ones with the hole in the middle. Yeah. Okay. You got it. I don't want a donut, please. I do. No, thank you. I'll get weird. I don't want one either. No more sugar. I want just glazed. You can get me some. You want Jessica who? How about like a veggie platter? A veggie platter. She's a porn star. Veggie platter? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That's not true story. Yeah. What is it? I feel all chemically. I feel all chemicked out. I need to poop, and I've been percolating for about 24 hours. I still haven't pooped yet. I handled business. Haven't been able to. Lauren O'Brien, you would really eat carrots? Like, I'm driving by Vons right now. I can go in there. Do you really want it? Yeah. Do you think they're open? I would eat the curse word out of some vegetables. I really would. I'm turning in. I'm in the parking lot. Oh, Sienna. I want a donut. Wait, they have donuts at Vaughn. Yeah, you do. I want eggs and cheese. Will you bring me a regular Red Bull with sugar in it? Yeah, me too. Okay. All right. Regular Red Bull, some donuts, chocolate glaze, and regular glaze.
And a veggie platter. Veggie platter. Yeah, Sienna. Oh, my God. I've been doing the Mikey-thon, you know, the 28-hour broadcast. I've been doing it now since 2003. This is the first time somebody's ever requested a veggie platter. It was Woods' idea yesterday. Yesterday I thought about bringing some healthy food. I didn't. He was supposed to bring a cooler full of carrots, and he never did. Yeah, I forgot. All right, Sienna. You ever just walk through Vons while you're on the radio? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Tell the fruitcake we said hi. The doors are not open. Oh, no. Oh, you just did something to my heart. You break hearts. You did something to my heart that hurts. 5 a.m. store hours. Oh, wow. It's only 15 minutes. Aren't they monsters? All right. All right. What do I do? Do I wait? No, you don't wait. There's a Ralph's by the station. There's a Ralph's. Take a nap. It's your call for me. I'll go to the route. No problem. Sienna's a team player. There you go. Love you guys. Love you. Love you. I miss you so much. If you think of anything else, let me know. Whatever will wake you up. A black guy. I'll try to find one. I've been looking. I'll look in there every once in a while. Jared is wide awake. That dude has not even looked tired. How have you not looked tired, Jared? He was hallucinating earlier. Was he? Yeah. He is working.
I would argue that he's working harder than I am. Oh, he's just been jamming. He's just killing it in there. He's just been jamming. He's just getting after it. He's getting some. Okay. Just got an email from my dad. Guy writes me at 4.30. Wow. Maybe sleep in. Ask my pups. He knows you've been up all night. You guys going to do the balls to the balls? Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's doing it? You are? I ain't doing balls to the balls. Come on. I'll do it. No, no. You want to come in there and do it? Yeah, you do it. I'll do it. Or dodgeball. Yeah, yeah. I want to do dodgeball. What are you playing here? I don't care. I'm going to fly under the radar for the next five hours as I can. We can get the blood flowing with something like that. Yeah, I started strong. I'm going to finish weak. I'm feeling good. I feel like ass. You know what Woods said to me two days ago? He goes, what are you going to wear, Maki? And I go, I don't know. He goes, I'm wearing a suit. And I go, you are? He goes, I started the year in a suit. I'm going to end it in a suit. Started the show strong. Got pierced up. Real good. I'm going to end it real weak just visiting with everyone, sweetly. Oh, boy. Shooting balls at people. Here, can I aim it at you? Wow. That's a pretty cool bit. It works pretty well.
They have a ball machine. They're trying to put it at ball level. Oh, yeah, that's way too high. And see how many they can take in their ball area. Balls. Oh, wow, that went in his chest. Oh, wow, that hit him in the chest again. Oh, you're going to hit Rebecca. Come here, Jasmine. And it's too high. It's going to hit him in the chest again. Just be delicate with them. Here we go. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Here we go. I'm going to be farther away. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. There are balls flying all over the studio. We're going to go up. Yep, up a little bit. Very close. You get four tries, I get four tries. Oh, you're really close. Ball machine, right to the balls. Did we just say balls a million times? Go high.
Oh, you're almost there, Woods. Here we go, here we go. Oh, my gosh. I think you found the sweet spot. Oh, yeah. No. This thing is inconsistent. What does the matter with it? Could be a crackhead. Sounds like it's loading up. Hit the balls. Throw the balls. Let's turn them. Oh, that's too high. It won't say... Oh, wow. That's close. Close to his crotch. It won't say consistent. Oh! Direct hit. Direct hit. Oh, my gosh. Direct hit. Oh, my gosh. That was right... Right in the balls. Oh, wow. One hit. Woods is at the perfect height. I'm stuck in his camel toe. Oh, my gosh. Is that her?
I want it. I don't want it. It's flying balls everywhere. Holy cow. Wow, maybe you don't kill someone. Please put my eye out here. Jay, put my eye out. No, don't. Jay, put my eye out. Don't. No. Stop. Put my eye out. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. How could we not have been videotaping that? Woods walks over there, and the very first ball that shoots out hits. him and buckles him over. There's a war zone in here. Things are coming out fast. Oh, man. Oh, my goodness. That's funny. That is funny. All right. It's enough out of you shenanigan, man. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Chase Violet. Shooting balls at us. Guys, just shooting balls all over. You know that him, well, you do know this, but I'm telling the listeners.
Jay and Woods, they're way more guyish than I am because they can do stuff with each other. I just, I can't handle. They'll walk up to each other and they'll take a closed fist and they think it's funny to punch each other in the balls. They do it all the time and I see it and it'll make Jay, like it hurts Jay, but he'll laugh. Like they'll go, oh, hey. It's more of a... A slap. It's a backward slap. A knuckle slap. A knuckle slap. But sometimes you make real good contact. Sometimes you get, you know, your hand is really wide, you know? L.O.B., you don't know what it feels like to get hit in the balls. I don't. I know. It's the worst. Oh, yeah. It's awful.
Yeah, I can imagine. It's like it's an electronic. It's almost like an electric shock that goes into your nervous system. Yeah. And it goes right to your brain. And it says, uh-oh. It takes about a month to get there, the pain. And then it takes about a month for it to leave. It's this long throw. You just lay there and you're like, oh, hey, we're on TV. Hang on. Oh, wow. We look really refreshed. Let's see. Yeah, it looks great. I look like death. Let me rewind. Let me rewind. You ever look like a corpse? You ever look like a corpse? Holy crap. Right now, the Mikey Morning Radio shows in the 23rd hour of its broadcast marathon to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital. Mikey, Esparza, and the gang are going nonstop and commercial-free from the FM 94.9 studios. Mikey started the Rady's marathon eight years ago to benefit the hospital's Autism Institute. My son Jake is four years old. He was diagnosed with autism, and Children's was just so instrumental in helping him out. And we want to be able to give back to the community by raising money, and this is the way that we do it. I still have things to do. Yeah, it's awesome. The marathon fundraiser began yesterday morning at 6. It'll run through 10 this morning. So far, Mikey's raised almost $7,000 for Radies. To find out how you can help, just go to 10 News right now and click on the red TV button.
Yeah, just leave out one of the cast members that was sitting right there. Oh, no, L.O.B. And you know what? I thought L.O.B. had the funniest one. She did. She did. I go, L.O.B., I go, how have you been keeping yourself awake during this time? And she just, like, without skipping a beat, she goes, I've been slapping myself and, you know, just eating brownies and, you know, just slapping woods. I thought it was hysterical. Ever just get hated by the news company? Ever just get hated by the news? Hey, let's crop the girl out of that shot. What's that brought out of there? Women don't belong. Women don't belong on TV. They shouldn't be voting. They shouldn't be on TV. They shouldn't be, you know, should be barefoot all the time. They shouldn't think they can just say funny things whenever they feel like it. They shouldn't try to be funny and stuff. They should know their place. Well, they should not. be funny. If they're funny, it's just offensive. They're probably a witch. They're probably a witch. If they're capable of making me laugh, they're probably a witch. I bet L.O.B. has descendants that lives in Salem. Yeah. I'll bet. That sassy little witch. That sassy little minx got me to giggle. And I know what that means. She's got the devil running through her. She rides on a broom.
You ever just hate someone on the Mikey show? Oh, boy. For no reason. What did I do? Hey. Hey, 10 News. What did I do to you? Hey, maybe if you came to my Santa baby, you'd be singing a different story. You'd be singing a different story, wouldn't you? Yeah, you think you're so brave without showing me. You guys get the power? Yeah, because you got the camera. The camera. Is that it? Who's live now? Is that it? Almighty camera? I'm live. I have to live on you, don't I? You ever just watch the news? I got to live on you right now. I'll turn the tables. I'll turn the tables right in your face. Broadcasting live. I'll leave you out. Uh-huh. I'll just call you AB. Yeah, that's right. I'll leave. I'll leave. Oh, who's mad at the silent sea now? C is silent. And I hate your face. I hate your curves. I'm going to get a Red Bull. It'll give you wings. Woods and I get to pick a topic. Let's find something cool and fun we can do on here. What do you think? You ever just play Truth or Dare? My wife. We have balls firing and she's still asleep. There's balls all around her. Balls.
You said balls. You ever just say balls a million times? Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls. So what do you think of, what do you do that you're not supposed to do? Oh, let's play radio charades. All right. Yeah. Shouldn't we wait for Sienna? Yeah, we should wait for Sienna. Oh, yeah, we should. Because I have a name that loon as well. Oh. That would be good. Let's do some sort of game. I need my blood flowing. Let's play hallway dodgeball. Oh, I was going to go. You just want to play highway dodgeball. I mean, yeah. Let's go the highway play. It makes it really hard. Yeah, you just want to play hallway dodgeball. I see the way. Jay plays dirty. He's out to hurt people. I don't want to play dodgeball. He's like, look. That's not true. I just like to win. No, he likes to hurt. No. Sadist. No. He goes, I see the opportunity. That's as much as true. To knock a little pudge down. And I'm going to take it. I would never knock a little pudge down. Oh, yes, you would. You would pudge me right over, buddy. I want to pudge you all over. Why do you have a jacket that says Pudge Plower then, Jay? How come you have on a t-shirt right now that says, I delight. I had it on Inside Out. I didn't think you could read in reverse. I delight in down, down the pudge. It says, expert Pudge Plower.
Nice beaver. Where did Woods go? What? I was waiting for the crickets. What did that even mean? I don't know. Pudge plower. Plower. That's a funny word. Keep looking, Mike. Anyway. Anywho. We were just on KUSI. We were? They like me on KUSI. Do they? No. I just made that up. She's a witch. She's a witch. Look, we're on Fox. Are we? No. Hey, do you have it on Fox in there, Jay? Are you able to have it on Fox? No. You have to have on whatever I got? Yeah, I get the one TV. I think I get that TV over there. All right. Why did they come by? Well, the thing is, is that a freelance photographer, he came by, and he gives it to all these different outlets, and they'll use it.
Oh, I see. And KGTV Channel 10 used it. KUSI used it. And Fox might use it. What did you guys do with Woods? I think Woods went to smoke a cigarette. I believe that's where he went. And so we'll see. Huh. Happy birthday, pal. Yeah, happy birthday. 570-1949 is our number. We have somebody calling in M1 Rhode Island from Rhode Island. How you doing? Hey, good morning, Mikey. How you doing? Good. I just wanted to call and tell you how happy I am to listen to the broadcast driving to work. I used to do it in San Diego all the time, and I don't get to do it out here anymore. Dude, that's awesome. And you guys sound great, and I just wanted to tell you to keep it up. I've been listening on and off the whole time, and it's awesome. Nice. That's great. Thank you. Thank you so much, man. Yep. Appreciate it. It's 16 degrees and sunny here, so. Oh, boy. 16 degrees?
Yep. Oh, boy. We're talking Fahrenheit. That is cold. Yep. Exactly. Thanks for the call. All right. Have a good day, guys. You too. So, L.O.B. Yo. Here's what I think. And I haven't told you about this, but I think that you'll like the idea. I'm game for anything at this point. Well, we will do it later. But, okay. So, later on, we're going to do a segment where we're going to try to connect with people that we used to have a crush on. That kind of deal. And back in the day when I was obese, Mikey, which I'm pretty much back to again. But back in the day when I was obese, Mikey, you are not. Oh, I am. I am. I had a crush on a girl. Right. And when you're, you know, morbidly obese, what you do is you you you can't just walk up to a pretty girl and say, listen, I want to take you.
out to dinner. And then I want to kiss you on the mouth. You can't just do that. Right. Because what she'll do is she'll take one look at you and she'll say, well, that's really sweet. That's really sweet. I'm going to have you rested. Okay. And so what you do is you use what talents and abilities you have. Right. Okay. My talents and abilities at the time were, you know, I had this smooth as silk voice and I worked at a radio station. And so I decided, I know what I'll do. I'll go into the studio and I'll play the music of the time. And, you know, I'll put it on a disc for her. And not a disc at the time. They didn't have that. It wasn't CDs yet. It was cassette tapes. And so I made her a cassette tape and I sent it to her. Yeah, I'd sent it to her.
Sure did do that. Good job. Yeah. And her name was Catherine. And she thought it was very nice. I bet she did. And I also wrote her letters. I wrote her a lot of letters. Written? Handwritten? Yeah, because I moved away from Rochester. Oh, okay. And I moved here. And you missed her sweet face? I did, yeah. I had a very round face. And we decided that we were going to do this thing on the Mikey-thon where we were going to reach out. And I did. And as it turns out, she still had some of these. No. And she scanned them. And she sent them. And I have them. What? They're in my possession. Really? One of them even has a poem.
From you as Obese Mikey. Yeah, as Obese Mikey back in 1992. And you narrate it. Well, what I was thinking is, is that, as you know, the most brutally, the most brutally awful thing is the L.O.B. I don't even know what to call it. You know, what do you even call it? When L.O.B. laughs at the Mikey stuff. It just has an extra level. It cuts you. It does. It's just so cutting. It's biting. It's biting. Guess who's on the line? Who? Woods. Woods? Hi. Hi. You ever get caught in a lie? What? What do you mean? Well, I held up a two. Man, I was going to go number two, and I was going to, but then I decided I would go burn one. And then I realized I forgot my key card. Oh, boy.
You just hanging on the roof partying, or what are you doing? Well, I didn't have a cell phone. Yeah, so give a shout-out to the M1s, by the way. Hey, M1s, how you doing? Yeah. Yeah, and I didn't have... Oh, elevators are broken. I had to walk up six flights of stairs, too. So I need somebody to come get me. The elevators are broken? Well, they're not working. I had to walk up the stairs. You push the button and they're just frozen on, what do you call it? The light is lit up. Oh, wow. Here's the other one. Yeah. Yeah, they both are frozen earlier. Yeah. So, yeah, I didn't poop. I came down to smoke and get a little breath. Did he say he wants somebody to come get him? He wants somebody to come get him. I need somebody to come get me. Nobody's going to get you. He's got no card. I hang out up here. You'll freeze to death.