Mikeython - 2010 - Part 4
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thursday December 16 & Friday December 17, 2010
THE MIKEYTHON takes the airwaves for twenty-eight straight hours! No recap is available as the entire epic event can be downloaded from various sources, mainly at www.mikeyshow.com. This concludes the weekly recap for the Mikey Show for 2010 since day one back in February. Every show, every day they were on the air live!
FM 94.9KBZTMikeython - 2010 - FM 94.9
embarrassing confessionsfailed romance shootschool dropout revelationunwanted touchingunusual foodsbathroom mishapprank callsword gamesconfessionsromancekeyboarddiploma
Lauren described an ill-fated romance shoot with Matt, Mikey revisited an excruciating teenage goodbye to Rene, and Sienna admitted that spilled breast milk may have broken Mikey's keyboard. Jay revealed that he never received his high-school diploma, while Woods supplied two more extreme confessions: being caught masturbating by a maintenance worker and striking a stranger who groped him. The group and its callers debated whether foods such as sea urchin, durian, calf fries, century eggs, balut, and tongue are inherently disgusting or merely unfamiliar across cultures. Woods later appeared with urine-soaked jeans, played Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard calls on sleeping friends, and joined Mikey, Sienna, and Lauren in a chaotic egg-and-apple buzzword game.
What happened, in order
Romance Shoot Wipeout
Lauren recalled filming an awkward romance reel with her boyfriend Matt, who arrived late and injured his foot when their first dramatic embrace sent them tumbling off a cliff.
The Silent Ride Home
Mikey remembered crying at age 14 after saying goodbye to his best friend Rene and becoming convinced that his mother's long silence meant she misunderstood his declaration of love.
Breast Milk Keyboard
Sienna confessed that she spilled breast milk on Mikey's office keyboard, blotted it up without telling him, and may have explained why its A key stopped working.
Jay's Missing Diploma
Jay revealed that he never formally graduated from high school after a prank dispute and a supposedly missing English paper, although he later let employers and classmates assume he had.
Maintenance Walk-In
Woods told how an apartment maintenance worker entered during a scheduled filter change and caught him naked on the couch masturbating, sending him scrambling for a pillow and the bedroom.
The 3 A.M. Altercation
Woods said he punched and shoved a transgender stranger in Chicago after the person touched his genitals without consent, then fled upstairs without buying the cigarettes he had gone out for.
Grossest Food Debate
The hosts and callers compared pickled eggs, sea urchin, cockroaches, cow eyeballs, mudfish, durian, calf fries, century eggs, balut, and tongue while arguing that disgust often depends on culture and smell.
Woods' Wet Jeans
Woods returned from a rushed bathroom trip with a large wet patch on his tight jeans and endured the cast's horrified inspection after admitting he had put himself away before he was finished urinating.
Schwarzenegger Wake-Up Calls
Woods played prank calls made to his sleeping friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard clips, including a fake Detective John Kimball interrogation at 5:30 in the morning.
Buzzword Meltdown
Jay ran a frantic buzzword game in which Mikey, Sienna, Lauren, and Woods shouted egg and apple phrases, lost points for bad guesses, and argued over scoring and obscure clues.
People mentioned
MikeyLaurenMattReneSiennaJayKimWoodsArnold SchwarzeneggerScott Graham
9,874 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Do you like clothes? Like, they put him in some real, like, DB outfits with, like, a linen. Linen. Like, open shirt. Oh, wow. Like, a stupid straw hat. He was just okay to do this? Yes, you're getting paid really well to do it. And so, that's like... Do you have a copy? Oh, well. Oh, boy. At one point where they, like... Can you guys just real quickly, just real quick, can you make love? Just real quickly. They would have had us, dude. They were like, they just kept pushing the envelope and we had to be like, oh, we're not, you know. No, I'm not comfortable with that. Oh, my gosh. So he, that morning, I don't even know how this happened. He got like. contacted because someone had seen him on stage or something. They were going to do like a reality show. Kind of a stage reality show of like a guy, like a musician trying to make it, like live at a beach house and stuff. And the audition was that morning. And I was like, no, you're not doing the audition. And I made fun of him because it was a reality show anyway. But he ended up doing it and was like, don't worry about it, babe. It'll be fine. Well, they show up at my house at, you know, call time was 9 o'clock. 9.05 rolls around, 9.10. Matt's late, of course.
Told him it was going to happen. So I'm, like, furious with him. And we have to do these scenes. These, like, scenes where we're in love and everything like that. So first scene, and he's trying to, like, say things, you know, to make me laugh and stuff. He's like, I love you. And I would just say, thank you. And just keep going. So the first scene out of the gate, they're like, okay, we want you to, like, come running from, we went over to Torrey Pines or somewhere in Solana Beach, just north of Torrey Pines. And we come from. opposite directions looks like on a cliff and he's supposed to like grab me and dip me right and we did that and we fell off the cliff he um ended up like breaking something in his foot um but that was the first like thing out of the gates that we did and then they proceeded to film it all day so i have this like one minute long clip of all the adventures that we were on that day we need to see that and Yeah, I think him and I are the only ones that have ever seen it. I'm going to need to see that. What is it? Oh, it's just a montage of us. The first shot is like... Frolicking, basically. Frolicking, falling off the cliff. Foreplay. Maybe we put that on Mikey showed up. Oh, I have to show it. We need to raise a certain amount of money. Yeah. And to see that, though. To see it. Foreplay. I have a story. Is that it? Yeah. I have a story. Never told you guys this. I thought of it, and I was like, yeah, they'll think that's probably pretty funny. I don't think I've ever told this on the air.
I was 14 years old. My best friend was this guy, Rene. And, you know. Ironic. Mexican. Oh. That's French. Rene was moving away. And I was really sad. Very, very sad that he was moving away. And so my mom drove me over to his house to say goodbye. Went over. Said goodbye. Gave him a hug. Got him back in the car. She was driving me back home. And I'm very tearful. Sad. He's leaving. And crying, you know. We pull up in the front of my house and I'm sitting there crying. And I go, dead silent in the car. And I'm like, and I'm wondering in my head, like, why hasn't she said anything? She's dead quiet. And then I realized, I think she meant, I think she thinks that I meant that like in a gay way. Oh, God. And it was dead silent. And then we got out of the car and we went inside.
And I think that she may have thought I was gay. Oh, my God. It was dead. She didn't go. My mom didn't go. My mom didn't go. I know. That's sweet. That's sweet, buddy. You know, or that's not. It'll be OK. I love him, too. I love him, too. Yeah. But I didn't say, like, I want to have sex with him. But I said, I love him. And it was the creepiest two minutes of my life. She didn't say a word. Oh, my God. Wait, did it click in your mind like right away that maybe she didn't say anything? I thought, isn't a mom supposed to say something right now? Like, you know, and she was dead quiet. And I was like, maybe she thinks I'm gay. Did you ever talk about it? No. Can we call her? No. He's got Alzheimer's disease. Why didn't you say at the time, like, Mom, I just mean like as a friend, just so you know. I don't know. I mean, I guess I was kind of embarrassed that she thought I was gay. I don't know that she thought I was gay even to this moment. I don't know that she thought I was gay. Your wife is in the room like, really? You know you're on the radio, right? But it was really uncomfortable. Almost as uncomfortable as it is in here right now, but not as uncomfortable.
Woods looks like he's... I love him. Look. I love him. He has a beautiful hair. Did you ever see Renee again? Oh, yeah. Did you guys make love? We didn't make love. We're all going to get laid. You know, but I was a sensitive kid, you know. You still are. A sensitive kid. Did the competition? Sina, when you said, like, come forward with something, I thought you meant, like, something that involves all five of us. Me too. Thank God. But that's what mine is. It could be a story. Oh, it is? Good. I'm going to wait for last. Well, I'm going to tell you what I originally thought. Yeah. Because I've been feeling really bad about it. Oh, you mean you're going to tell us something that you did to us that we don't know about? Not to you guys. It was an accident. You didn't really have a baby. You just took two months off. Shut up. Tricky. Wow.
Why did I open my mouth? Oh, no. Everything is fine, but I was really nervous for a few days, and then it involves Mike, and he might get mad at me. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We have to preempt it. Is she in any trouble? No. No, I'm not going to say she can't be in any trouble. I would have been in trouble by now if it had gone wrong, but I think I'm okay. Uh-oh. What? Oh, boy. You deleted something. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. When I was in your office, pumping. Oh, no. You may have spilt some breast milk. No, you did not. No, you didn't. On your keyboard. I'm sorry. I was just like, oh, my God. And I grabbed paper towels, and I blotted, and I blotted, and I blotted. But it was like a week ago, and I thought if something was wrong, you would know by now. Does that? Because here's the thing. Oh, wow. And I think I said it, Jay. My password, my password won't work. My password won't work. Yes, I remember that. And the A on my keyboard won't work. Sticky. Oh. I blotted. You blotted. I'm sorry. It was an accident. Accidents happen. You need to like spray some air in there. It's clean. Like compressed air? Yeah. You'll get like white flakes that probably cut out. It gets all cold. What?
I didn't know what to do, and so I blotted, and then you couldn't tell. I mean, it's fine. I can't believe that you didn't tell me. What am I supposed to do? Hey, Mike, I knew you were going to freak out. Bring on the big ones. Stop it. Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. She spilled breast milk. Disgusting. In my keyboard. Well, that's because you have big jugs. You probably typed on it and got some on your fingers. Oh, I put them in your mouth. And some burritos. It got in your enchiladas. Your fajitas that you have to launch every day. And then you touch the pen that you put in your mouth every day. So you probably get a little every day. I wish that the thing that you hadn't told us was that you once said that you loved your best friend and that your mom thought that you were a lesbian. No, I would never admit that out loud. Mike, the computer's fine. I'm so sorry. It was an accident. The A doesn't work. Oh, it really doesn't. It doesn't work. You just gave him another excuse to go back to the Apple store. Babe. Babe. I need... No, I got to. More allowance. The A's not working. I feel a lot better right now. So let me get this straight. Got it all. Lauren did a commercial with her boyfriend. Not a big deal. I...
was thought to be gay at 14 by my mom, allegedly. And Sienna spilled breast milk all over my keyboard. I'm still waiting for Jay's. You know, mine isn't that bad. Yeah, Jay's is going to be like... Could ours have been any different, though? I'm damned. Yeah. I'm a zombie. No, his is going to be something gross. I got hungry wives. I'm the geezer bandit. I got nine families. I'm married to nine different women. I'm a polygamy. And they're all happy. They're all well fed. I'm really a chick. Mine's serious. Mine's not fun. Oh, no. No, I'm sorry I'm not going to say it. You mean it's not as serious? You have to say it now. It's not as fun as mine? Mine was serious. Mine was stupid. I'm scared. Mikey's was awkward. Tiana's was funny. Now we need a serious. Well, this is actually something that I'm not proud of. Oh, boy.
Jay isn't proud of it. Is this why your background check didn't come? No. No, it could be. No. So you know how Mikey in this thing always says that he never graduated high school? Yeah. You didn't graduate either? You didn't get a GED? You didn't get a GED? I haven't done anything. Did you lie about it on all your applications? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Not here. I didn't lie here. When did you drop out? It was my senior year, and they didn't let me walk because I did this huge prank. I did a number of pranks. That's all he does now is pranks. I did a number of large pranks, and the teachers did not like me. The ones who liked me loved me. The ones who hated me hated me. Yeah. So I did a number of pranks that made them look bad, and they were like, okay, you can't walk. And, oh, by the way, there's this one last thing you're supposed to do. And it was an English paper. And I was like, it's done. And they're like, well, we can't find it. And I was like, and then you didn't have copies of everything. You just handed in the original. So it was like to prove a point. Out of spite. Wow. Wow, Jay. Didn't know. What did your parents, were they mad? Well, I went off to commercial diving school. And at the same time, Kim was going to college. So I would go to college with her and skateboard around. And so all the people at the school thought that I went there.
So when jobs started coming down, I was like DJing at a place in Houston. The radio station sent a person in like, oh, you go to college. You know so-and-so. And people from all over were like, yeah, CJ has school all the time. Right. So I got an internship. And I just kept filling out paperwork. And basically when I walked in the door of the radio station, everybody had been fired. Yeah. Except for like two people. So I pretty much came in and started running things right off the bat. Wow. Oh, man. It was weird. Wow. How do you feel right now, Jay? I don't know. It's going to be weird to see. You know, it never bothered me because I knew that I graduated, but I knew that they were just being mean because I was a bad kid. Do your kids know that? They do now? They probably do now. Have you ever told one of them? No. Really? Kim knows. Kim knows. Wow. Shocking. Would they be like, Dad, you're always making me do stuff? Oh, and it's such a double standard because I was the last child. I mean, seven years between me and my closest sister. So when my mom had me, accident, they were done. They were done raising kids pretty much. So it wasn't like, hey, let's sit down and do your homework. It was like, hey, what do you want to do?
Yeah, get it done. My sisters were all, you know, pretty smart and could do all this stuff. I just didn't even like to study and never really learned how to study. Wow. Wow. Well, you know that you did it, you know. Oh, yeah. You just don't have, like, the title. Yeah, and I knew I could make my way through life without it, you know. And I don't recommend it by any means because, you know, if you can't say, like, all my kids are A students and blah, blah, blah. And they kill it. They're super smart. You made up for it. Yeah, Kim made up for it. There you go. Woods, you don't have any? We got a couple. Which one do you want to hear about? Do you want to hear about the time when I punched a transvestite? Or do you want to hear about the time when the maintenance man walked in my apartment and caught me going to war? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. The maintenance man. Of my apartment complex. Just opened the door and walked in? When you move in, you tell them where you work and when you work. You know, your hours. And I was in radio sales. It was actually when I was at the Eagle. Yeah. Selling with you. Yeah. Took the day off. Sick. Was I? Ah. Hungover. And decided that it was time. In your living room? In my living room. That's where the TV and the DVD player were. Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, look at Rebecca's face. Rebecca, my wife. My wife just got a look on her face like, ew. Yeah. Yeah. I.
Didn't have a blanket up around me. Oh. You were just lying there on the couch? Nude. Creepy. Oh. What did a maintenance man do? It's my house. I didn't have roommates. Yeah, maintenance man should knock. They, well, here's the deal. They all have keys and they had left a flyer. for everyone saying we will be changing the filters between 10 and noon tomorrow. Apparently you were too. But still, even then, wouldn't you go maintenance, put your pants on, walked right in the door and I was butt naked going to war. What did the gentleman look like? He was Latino. Was he wearing like a maintenance outfit? Yeah, it said like Pepe or something on it. Pepe. Maybe it was your friend Renee. I love him. He walked in the door and was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was. Did you yell out really? Oh, my God. I would be silent. I scrambled around and like tried to get the couch pillow to like cover myself. And.
I got up and kind of held myself and ran into my bedroom. I come out here and rough talk him and run him off. Did he stay and change the filter? No, he did not. I told him, why don't you, can you come back? And send someone else, please. I got my hands full right now. Can you come back? He gave me like, oh, my bad, dude. At least it was a guy. Listen, it's not something that I'm really proud of, but. It was pretty funny. Like two years later and a lot of drink. Yeah. That's not funny until years later. At the moment, it's not very funny. And that may have happened to me too when I was 12 by my brother Sam. Yep. Oh, my gosh. You guys ever locked a door? My mom's caught me. My wife's caught me. Kim's caught me. It's more fun. It is more fun. And it's like, you're my wife. Like, who cares? But she's like, really? Hard to explain, though. You're disgusting. It's hard to explain. You're disgusting. You want to hear when I punch the transvestite? You don't want to? I guess I don't have a choice. You do? You can say no. I want to hear. It's your show. Yeah, it's just that now there's thousands of people that are waiting to hear about you punching a transvestite. So what happened? Me and a few friends were at my house in Chicago. And we were partying, drinking, the whole thing. And we ran out of smokes. And smokes were very important at the time.
And I said, I'll run down to the train station. They had a little tiny convenience store where you caught the train. And I walk up and I'm kind of messed up. Like I'm not sober. And this guy, girl, Shim, was like, hi, how are you? And I'm like, hey, pretty good. He says, I love those jeans. And I said, thank you. And this person grabbed like the fabric of the jeans and like pinched it and was like rubbing it around. They're like, those look really, really comfortable. I'm like, they're pretty nice. It was a girl. I know, but in your mind, this was a girl. But I knew. You weren't fooled. But I knew. I wasn't fooled. The Adam's apple helped. And the mustache. More than likely. They were feeling my fabric. Where on your leg? Got very close to my groin. And then at one point, touched.
Touch your body? Touch my body. And I flipped out because I was, like I said, pretty messed up. And they grabbed it and said something about it's really cold out. It's really cold out. It's nice to have something warm at night. And grabbed the boys. And without thinking, I reached back as hard as I could and I punched this thing square in the jaw. And I mean to where they spun around and then I boop to the butt. And pushed him onto a parked car. Were there a lot of people around? No. It was at, like, 3 in the morning. Where were you? On a stoop? Because if people were around, you probably would have got attacked. I probably got in trouble. But it was, like, 3 in the morning. And I was walking down. I was on the street. She said that while you were standing? She felt your pants down. She felt my pants. Like, I'm standing in there, like, and like that. And then the grab. She said that. And then I went, wham. And then. And kicked. He said that. Boot to the butt. Chim. So you punched her. Yes, and then I ran upstairs. Like, I didn't get the smokes. Did anyone see you hit him? No. No, it was like 3 a.m. Was she okay? I don't care. Grabbed my piece, dude. I should care less. So did you just leave him there? Yes! What do you think I'm going to do? Ask her if she's okay. No, I'm not going to do that. So he just stayed there? Yeah, he did. Go back and forth. Did you tell her that you were sorry? No.
And he just was like, okay. Oh my gosh. Would you do that to her today? Shim was fine. I guess. That hurt jaw. You don't grab someone's piece. Hello, Miss Lady. Yeah, but you don't punch a girl, dude. It wasn't a girl. It had breasts. I bet you hurt his feelings, too. And an Adam's apple. How bad would Woods feel if he found out that it was no shim? Yeah, it was actually... An attractive lady. If it was an attractive lady, I probably would have invited her back to the crib, but I didn't. It was... I ran up. My hand swelled up, and I was like, you guys, I just punched a transvestite in the face. And they're like, what, what? Everyone was freaking out. It was hysterical. How many times before and since have you said that same sentence? You guys, I just punched a transvestite in the face. Scared me to death. That's one of those things. Hopefully Woods has punched a transvestite in the face. Yeah, you know who that doesn't happen to? The guy that's not out getting cigarettes at three in the morning. Could you imagine? I could see you running in the door. You guys! Oh, I did. I was like... They're like, what, what, what? Are there any transvestites here that want to go with me to get a pack of smoke? It was scary, man. It was scary. See the shirts? Oh, wow. Mikey Thon shirts. Mikey Thon shirts are rad.
They're donated by Jedediah, so we didn't even have to pay for them. That's rad. Yeah, they hooked us up. If you would like, we really want to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital. You can do this right now by going to MikeyShow.com. It's really soft. It's so soft. Go to MikeyShow.com, and you can just click on the link there. It'll take you right to the page where you can donate, and it would really, really help out. The Autism Discovery Institute. My son, Jake, is autistic, and that's why this means so much to me. We've raised $1,110 so far online. We've got to raise a lot more than that. Got to raise a lot more than that. So we want you to get online right now and donate to it. I want to show you a little bit about what we do here on the Mikey Show. So we're going to play you an example of some of the stuff that we do. Welcome back to Mikey Show. 7.30 this morning, Sienna taped us off the air with her recorder. Weird. That's a new bit. That's right. It was so much fun. She tells us afterwards. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. She didn't that time with Woods. Yeah, it was great. But sometimes she'll go, like, when, I don't know, was it yesterday? The day before we were in the elevator? It was the day before, yeah. We were in the elevator. She goes, I just taped you guys. Yeah. We go, what? She goes, yeah, I just taped you guys.
Everyone mentally went through their head like, nice. How many F-bombs did I drop? A few. And then at 9 o'clock this morning, we got Padres Marlins tickets for you. So we will do that and give you some Padres Marlins tickets at 9 o'clock this morning. Hidden audio coming up at 7.30. Let's see. So, yeah, this show is real big. America's Got Talent. Don't watch it. Don't watch TV. But this kid is 11 years old. He's a rapper. His name is CJ Deepa or Dippa. Come on, CJ. That doesn't sound as good as Jay-Z or Eminem. No, it doesn't. He's only 11. I know that that's the thing. He's only 11. But am I judging him on rapping or am I judging him on 11-year-old rappers? Because if I'm judging him on 11-year-old rappers, I don't have much to go on as a kind of reference. Right.
Little Bow Wow, maybe? That's how Little Bow Wow was. But wasn't he way better? I don't know. Little Bow Wow. I don't know. I just don't know. Wow. Sienna pulling out the Little Bow Wow. The way you move so fast. Across the floor. You know that stuff. You know you run through my mind like all the time. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Just blasting that in La Jolla in your car back in the day. Little Bow Wow. No, that was for me. Because she's blushing. She's blushing. Deep red. Piers Morgan is one of the judges on this show, America's Got Talent. And here's what he said to this 11-year-old kid. CJ, I think it's time to get serious, to get down in the hood with the resident rat egg. That sounded good, didn't it? Oh, boy. Sounds great when a white guy goes, it's time to get down in the hood. All right? This is my world. Look, I think on the negative side, I couldn't understand a single word that you sang. Easy, Simon. Maybe clean out your ears. Any rap songs? On a positive note, I can never understand a word any rap style sings. So it doesn't matter.
I can. I understood. Nothing like corny white guys. Nothing like it, dude. Hey, you can't understand nothing that no white guy raps. Why don't you be trying to imitate me? Oh, sorry, dude. Sorry, Hoyle. Every time you do it, it sounds like you're trying to do your version of me. Is that the deal? No, I was making fun of that guy in that clip. Making fun of old Hoyle? No. And even after everything I did for you teaching you how to bet on the ponies? Yeah, dude. Did it work? No, I lost pretty much every race that day we went out to the races. But I saw you. I saw you and your mama at the Del Mar races. Yeah, people have said that mama's racist. No, at the races. Wow. Wow, is that a Freudian slip? Yeah. You said mama's racist. Well, I mean, she kind of is, but she's raised in a different time. No, I said at the races. Oh, at the races. I thought you said mama's racist, which a little bit, but it's really not. I mean, she just, she don't understand. She comes from a different part. Listen, y'all don't understand a lot about me and my culture because I come from the tough part of Mobile. Mobile, Alabama. There's a tough part. There is a real tough part, Sienna. And mama didn't really let me run around with a lot of Mexicans like Mikey.
I couldn't run around with African-Americans when I was growing up. Of course, there was no African-Americans in the town that I lived in or Mexicans. Isn't that right, Mikey? How would I know? Mikey grew up in California. I'm just saying, I figured you... By the way, Mikey, since I have you here, I went to Stater Brothers the other day, and I got me some Tostitos. Oh, my God. Where is this going? I'll be gosh darn if I don't know the best brand of salsa. What is it? Oh, my gosh. Hoyle, I have no idea. Don't you? Mikey, I heard this song by a Mexican woman singer the other day, and she was talking about... Who is that? I don't know, Hoyle, by you singing that.
You know Mike, he doesn't even speak Spanish. You know Mike, I don't even speak Spanish. He doesn't listen to Spanish music either. Doesn't he? Listen, when I was growing up, all we watched around the house was Hee Haw. She and I didn't even see a black guy until I was 34. Oh my God. I didn't. I didn't. That's just the truth. They didn't have a TV. We didn't have 50 cents and we didn't have Eminem. How did you learn to be such a good rapper then? Ever since I got a little bit older, Mama started turning her back when I was buying my rough and hardcore CV. In your 30s? My 30s. Algaro. Algaro. I started getting the real real stuff, like the Algaro. And I started getting all that stuff. And Mama would hear it sometimes and say, turn that stuff off. You know, it's the devil's music. And I said, listen, Mama. At some point, you got to let me stretch my wings and be my own man. I can't just sit here and watch Lawrence Welk and Pat Boone all day long. That's right. Took until 34 for you to finally. But wait, don't you still live with your mom? Yeah, he still lives with Mama. He was at the races with her. Oh, right. That's 100% true.
Mama is a bit racist, but she's really not. Besides the point. I grew up, my heroes were the tough guys. Sergeant Carter on Gomer Powell. Usually the tougher men. But I ain't racist. Let me tell you something. That question to Mikey was just about salsa. I thought he'd know. That's all. I got a girlfriend. What? Oh, good for you. I do. You just throw that in there? That's right. She's African. Really? She's African-American. You've got to say every time you've got to be so PC. Yes, you do. She's not African. All of us are like, is she from Africa? She's actually from South Africa. Oh, well then. Maybe she is African. Maybe she is African. Maybe you guys give me a chance here. Sorry if I didn't get 911 on the latest PC words or whatever. 411. 911 is emergency. You're our station manager. You're supposed to know those things. No wonder I got in trouble because I called. I was trying to get the. I called 911. No, can't do that. I said, hello, Encinitas. What's your emergency? And I said, can I get the number for Taco Bell? Not on this line. They said, ask Mikey. That's what I thought. I said, I was going to ask him, but then everybody gets all upset when I ask him about Taco Bell. So, how's the new girlfriend? Pure ebony princess, darling. Oh, my goodness. That's how she is. I met her on firstbase.com.
First base? Is that where you only go to first base with people? Pretty much. Interracial couples website and first base or less relations. Or less. How far have you gotten? About halfway between home plate and first base. Wow. Nicely done. Not that far. Sorry, moving a little too fast. They've spoken on the phone. Not that far. Internet chat? We've exchanged a couple of emails. That's good. So that's your new girlfriend. I haven't gotten a nerve up to send her a picture of oil yet. I'd say if you're only sending emails, you're still in the batting cage. That's where we are, for sure. I told her I'm a black Marine. Yeah, she's... I kind of am. You're not even close. How are you kind of a black Marine? You shop at Boot Barn. I also shop at Hoyle's house of pants. That's right. That's true. Let me tell you something, y'all. If anybody here is racist, it's Mikey. He can't even speak English or Mexican. You know it. Mikey, speak some Mexican. It's called Spanish, Hoyle. Speak some Spanish. I can't speak Spanish. Then you're racist. Honduran, whatever it is, speak something. Hoyle. A lot of people don't know this about me, Sienna, but I am a minority.
No, you're not. You're not. You're wide as the driven snow. From Alabama. AB blood type. AB blood type. I guess technically then, yes. Whatever. Y'all can't even imagine what it takes knowing that I could bleed to death because there ain't a lot of people out there like me. It's hard living as a minority. That's true. Type AB, you try it out. That's true. None of y'all are. Small percentage of the universe is AB. I think I'm O positive. See? Yeah. That's right. I've been impressed being AB all these years. You've been impressed at all, Hoyle. G-I-T. Y'all get. Y'all get. He's our station manager. Has he done anything? No. I haven't done anything. You just sit back in your office. That's all he does. He sits back in the office. He doesn't do a thing. Have you implemented anything? Independence Jam was mine. Yeah, right. You wanted 50 Cent and M&M. Garrett ain't going for it. No, he's not. We're an alternative station. It's unbelievable. I love oil. I was at Stater Brothers the other day. They've got like a whole aisle of English food. What? I know. Penguins? Well, they had stuff like that.
But the English will eat eggs in like brine. Ew, I know. Like pickled eggs? Yes. Repugnant. It looks like pickle juice with an egg in it. That's what they eat in Pennsylvania. They do? Yeah, that's where Todd's from when I went to. It's so gross. They're purple. Have you ever had one? I tried it. He made me try it. Does he eat them? No, he doesn't really like them. But where he's from, that's like when we go out to restaurants, they always have them on the side of the plate. Are you kidding me? It's disgusting. That's filthy. And he made you try it? Yeah, they put the plate in front of me and I was like... Was it not half bad? What is this? It was disgusting. It was the worst thing I've ever eaten. It was a pickled egg? Yes. It's a hard-boiled egg that has purple dye on it, and it's been in pickle juice or something. You need beet juice. It's disgusting. I've asked people before, what's the worst thing you've ever had? A lot of people have said that sushi, sea urchin, is the worst thing you can ever have. Our friend CB says, because I asked him, I'm like, what's the worst thing? He goes, eh, I'm pretty much open to anything.
I said, have you ever had sea urchin? He goes, yeah. I go, is it the worst thing ever? He goes, eh, I wouldn't order it. He goes, but I wouldn't order it, but it's not the worst thing in the world. I go, what does it taste like? He goes, the bottom of a fish tank. Oh, wow. Delicious. I go, holy cow. Wow. I know the bottom of a fish tank. Mudfish. We did a challenge where we had to eat all these different foods. Yeah. And we ground up Madagascar cockroaches in a blender. Wow, really? We did mudfish, and then we did cow's eyeballs. Oh, Jay. And I tasted each of them. You did, Jay? Two of them, the Madagascar roach. It's bad. The cow's eyeball is repugnant. But the mudfish, which people actually eat from the 99-cent whatever store it is over there. Oh, my gosh. The Oriental Market. Yeah. I could not. You can't even open it in the room. It just permeates. Well, with Rob, we used to make Rob eat a bunch of gross stuff. Do you remember the durian? Yeah, I thought that was pretty tasty. You tried that? Oh, you're a lunatic. What is a durian? It's a fruit that they won't let you eat on the train in Vietnam.
You can't eat it on the train. I thought it smelled bad, but it didn't taste bad. Yeah, the smell is bad. The smell is supposed to be hideous, but see, I've always thought that, like, our sense of smell is there so that we don't eat stuff. Right. You know, because, like, if it stinks, we're like, we're not supposed to eat that. Then why do we eat hard-boiled eggs? That's true. It's delicious. The smell doesn't always match up. I guess that's true. I've eaten cow's balls. You have? Yep. Wow. Oh, I have. I did, too. I did, too. Why? I did, too. Rocky Mountain Oysters. I had that. They call them calf fries, too. I didn't like it. See, the worst thing I had was a foie gras. Foie gras. Which is, I guess, duck liver? Yeah. Something liver. And I ate it to be polite. And then afterwards, I was like, what is that? I found out. I don't think cows have those. I think it's bulls. Yeah, it was. Fine, whatever. Bulls balls. What are you, a farmer over there? I was just trying to make sure we keep on the straight and narrow. That's true. Yeah, it's this thing. They had this huge, huge fraternity party at my first college. Yeah.
And it was called calf fry. And they send the pledges out to do the snipping and the cooking and the cutting and the frying and all that. You've got to be kidding me. And there was enough for 25,000 people. 570-1949. What is by far the worst thing you've ever had? 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. Can I ask him more about what do you mean the snipping? Yeah, they had to go out and snip. Legally? Legally. Yeah, they owned like a ranch and they had cattle. You just like catch them when they fall? Yep. When they snip them, you fry them up and you eat them real good. You know, bear grills. Does the cow back the bull die? I don't know. No. I don't think so. It's like castration. Oh my. You do that, but you won't go see bull fighting because that's worse. I didn't do it. I just ate it. Yeah. I didn't do it. Bear grills on Man vs. Wild. He said the worst thing he did, because they've asked him, what's the worst thing that you've had to eat? Because if you... Are not familiar with Man vs. Wild. They drop Bear Grylls off in the middle of nowhere. And he's got to survive. And part of his bit is that he eats hideous stuff. And they asked him, what's the worst thing that you've ever had to eat? And it was raw goat testicles. And I watched the episode. And it was, hey, here's the thing. See, to a lot of people, the idea of what we eat is filthy.
You know, in other countries, like you tell them what we eat and they go, you eat that? Like, that's disgusting. Like what? Like pork. That's the grossest. In fact, I dated a girl that was Arabic and my brother one time for breakfast made quiche and it had bacon in it. And she was like, she woke up and went. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Pig. Yeah. Yeah. And it like. Bacon tastes good. Bacon tastes good. Pork chop tastes good. Well, yeah, certain religions, it's like, no, no, no, no. Listen, Salisbury steak with scrambled eggs smothered in gravy sounds real delicious to us, but take that to Korea. Yeah. Yeah, they're eating dog. I know. You know? But that's their culture. To them, that's not gross. To us, it is. You know what I mean? It's like... Good old U.S. of A. Good old USA. Who's the guy on the food network? Is it Anthony Bourdais? Bourdais. He does all the foods around the world. Oh, my gosh. He's tried the durian. M1 Sanjaya from San Diego is on the line. What's up, brother? What's going on, dude? Hey, frickin'. I've eaten century-year-old duck egg. 100-year-old duck egg. Yeah, the century egg. It's called the century egg. Why? Dude, I don't know. I live right by a Vietnamese market, and I was like,
What the heck? You know, I've always wanted to try it. And I bought them and I tried them and wasn't all that good, man. I can pretty much eat anything, but that was pretty nasty. Where do they keep it? They keep it like in the refrigerator section. Yeah, I've seen it. It's hideous. And it really is. It's really like they find a way to preserve it, but it's a really super old egg, right? Yeah, they preserve, the way they do it is like, I guess they keep it in like some sort of sand or something. Oh, gross. Weird. Yeah, they sell it at the Asian market, man. You go down to the Asian market, you can get some crazy stuff. How about the Balut? Oh, yeah, dude. What's a balut? It's all about the balut. Basically, it's an egg that's starting to form the baby chicken inside or duck. Oh, God. And so it's all in there and it's juices and it's kind of hard-boiled. And you peel it and there's like beaks and claws. Yeah, it was fantastic. M1 Summer from San Diego. Oh, my gosh. Good morning. What's the worst thing you've ever had by far? A cow's tongue.
Oh, I like it. Lengua. Lengua. You like it? Oh, yeah. We were young. My dad made my sister and I eat it. And it was, I mean, I cried. I just sat there and cried. It was disgusting. I had a tongue sandwich. Yeah, me too. That's exactly what I had. In fact, I watched my wife's, I basically watched my wife's, you know, her life leave her body when I ordered it. Oh, my gosh. She hate, she was so upset. We went to New York City. Got there, went to Carnegie Deli. It was late at night. I was starving. And I was like, hey, listen, if I'm going to try it, the best place to try it would be at a great place like Carnegie Deli. And so I ordered it, and she looked at me like, you monster. You monster. It's delicious. It tastes like hot dog. It is great. There you go. That is an example of what we do. And we will do that throughout the Mikey-thon. I want to urge people to... Go to MikeyShow.com and donate some money and get money raised. That is going to be the, you know, we'll do a grand total at the end of the show tomorrow morning at 10. And so we need people to try to raise as much money as possible. Where's Woods? I think we went to the bathroom. Where'd he go? As much money as you can will be the best thing. I mean, as much money as you could possibly give is what we want you to do.
Check that out. Check that out. What is that, Woods? What is it? Do you stomp ever? Is that pee-pee? Yes, it is pee-pee. What's the matter with you? Oh, my gosh. It's just a little dribble. It's not. It's a little dribble. It isn't. Sit down. Sit down. Listen. Oh, my God. What is that? What is the matter with you? Pee to my jeans. Not a full piece. Let me tell you what happened. Maybe wear a diaper. I got one out here. Let me tell you what happened. Jay and I got the... We have a pop-a-shot machine now. Let me see again. Take a picture. No, we're not taking a picture. We're taking a picture. Please. Please. We need a camera. It's a lot. It's a lot. And I'll tell you what happened. Why won't you let us go? Did you bring a change of clothes? Yes.
He just smelled his hand. I drank a lot of water, so we're good. But Jay and I were playing Papa Shot during the break, and we finally figured out to where it keeps score in the time runs. What's the matter with you? Nothing. So listen. Unbelievable. We were playing Papa Shot, and then Jay was like, dude, we got like a minute. And I ran in the bathroom and was like, and then thought I was done, put it back in my pants. Happens all the time. How does that happen? Not that much. That's a lot. Where's the camera? I didn't think I... Did you do the thing where you're like, okay, I'm done. Yes, yes. And then you're like, I better be done. I put it back in there and I buttoned up and I was like, oh God, oh no, no, no. It looks like the amount that would be in like a juice box. Shut up. How do you guys not know? It's a lot. It's a lot of pee. Oh my gosh. How do you not know when you're done? Because you don't a lot. It happens to all men. Yes, it happens. To women, I said. Oh, to women. It's happened to me. It's the worst. I'm sitting in pee. Maybe you change. I don't want to. I like these jeans. Oh, boy. It'll dry. Ew. Does it smell? No. I'm not. No, I don't discuss it. What? Like that. Well, I don't even know what you're talking about. I know. You have to be careful with what you say. You have to be careful. Do I? Yeah. On the air, yes. I do? Mm-hmm.
Since when? Since the Federal Communications Commission decided to become an entity. Ew, he's rubbing it. Stop touching it. Where's the antibacterial? Oh, this one's supposed to... It's a napkin. I have a napkin. I have a napkin. Ew, it's gross. You are... His pants are skin tight. It's not my fault, dude. Yes, it is. We had plenty of time to go to the restroom and I dropped the ball. Weird. You're like a train wreck. He really is. Yeah, we're only... three and a half hours in. Imagine being 20 hours. This is like less than normal work. Can I have some of that orange? Don't touch it. You have your own. No, you peel it though. I'll peel it. Thank you. Lauren doesn't want to let it. Just put some right here. No, no, no. Lauren just... dropped the orange. Oh, I should wash my hands. Let me see again. It's not like the orange is infected. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Just a little pee. That's not a little. That's not a little. That's like a whole amount. I'm going to take a guess. I'm going to take a guess at how many ounces that is. It's not. No, you're not. I would say, no, I don't think it's that much. I'd say that that is a good four ounces or five ounces. Wow, Mike. You know why I know that? Bottles. Bottles. Baby bottles. Baby bottles. I know that now, too. Don't do that. You look ridiculous.
With your George Michael earring. And my pee pants. Nice work. Thanks. I love this 28-hour show. That made me laugh. I've had so much fun. This is so much fun. So much fun. Oh, Woods, you are a train wrecker. That's awesome. Sorry. Let's play Woods' prank call soundboard. You called one of your friends? Yes. Early. And you used Arnold Schwarzenegger as the soundboard? I did. Good morning. How are you? Who is it? Who are you calling? Who are you calling? Who are you calling? What time? I wasn't ready. What time? That was so brilliant. He responded good morning. 5.30 a.m. Dallas time. You jerk. I got to start it again. 5.30 a.m. I like it. He works at 9. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? I'm tired. I'm tired. How are you? I'm Detective John Kimball. Howdy, stranger. My favorite bit. What can I help you with? I want to ask you a bunch of questions. I want to have them answered immediately. Why is he going along? It's 5.30 in the morning and a detective calls you. You're going to answer some questions, all right? Oh, my God.
If it'll keep me out of trouble, I'll answer whatever you want. If I can go back to sleep. What did I do? Correct. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Stop it! What's this about? What? Nice to meet you. Who are you? Exastimated. I think he hung up. Who are you? He hung up? Yeah. I think so. Oh, that's fantastic, dude. That is fantastic. Can we hear the beginning again? Of course. Good morning. How are you? I'm Detective John Kimball. All right. Howdy, stranger. All right. All right. I like your friend already. Yeah, that's a little demur. What can I help you with? I want to ask you a bunch of questions. I want to have them answered immediately. All right.
Sounds like more than likely. You know what it sounds like to me? It's like, I've been through this before. Fine. I didn't do it. You can ask me whatever you want. You're not going to get me on it. I love that kid, man. I'm not wanting that. I'm not what? I'm not wanting. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Stop it. That's fantastic. I love it. Who's the other person you called? My friend Scott Graham. Hello? Yeah. Awesome. Yeah? Yeah. Can I be nice? Bingo. What the hell is this? No values. No values. Shut up, your honor. Let me do it. Same time. Well, go ahead. Say what you guys say. Call me in the morning. Waking me up. What? What is it? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? He's so frustrated. What do you want? Eat your mother. My mother?
Here we go. Yeah, you're damn right. Here we go. Scott's a D. You know, your mother thinks you have the capacity to be a top student. I have to be the sad clown. I have to be the sad clown. You're making me out to be some mama's boy. Hey, how you gonna call me and start cutting, huh? Yeah, we had to edit one out. You had to edit something? We had to edit a curse word out. He cursed? Yeah, Tony did. I picked up Aizan. You what? I can't believe he's still on. Shut up, y'all. Let me talk. Oh, man. I believe you. I believe you. You're a freaking cell phone warrior, aren't you? Yes, say that. You're a freaking cell phone warrior.
The greatest. Mikey, I think that one could be played against you a few times. You're a freaking cell phone warrior, aren't you? Isn't that great? You're lucky I don't get my cousin? I have a feeling you might be my cousin. He wants to see who it is. I'm serious. What? I'm serious. I believe you. What are you saying? Tell me who you are or I'm going to do this. Let me ask you a question. Okay. I've got to be honest with you. I'm not getting any satisfaction from my work either. What do you want me to do about it? Wow. You understand? You're going to relax. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I just kind of admit it. Your name is... What happened? I don't know.
What? It cut off. That's the end of it. I think he hung up. Or I hung up on him. I got skeeve. Whoa. Excuse me. Fantastic. I could do those to my friends all day long. I love it. I like it, too. I love it. I love it. We're going to play a new game. You guys want to play a new game? Yeah. Buzzword. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. If you think we're competitive, you haven't seen anything. I need to snuff. I need to snuff. Now. Why enough? With buzzword, what you're going to do right now is you're going to call us at 570-1949. And you're going to pick a horse, meaning you're going to pick me or you're going to pick Sienna or Woods or L.O.B. The way that it works is Jay is going to give us the buzzword. And then he's going to describe some things that have that buzzword in it.
And if we know what it is, we've got to yell it out. And I mean yell it out. We yell the answer or a name? Yeah, we yell out the phrase. Oh, okay. Okay? Better do it from in there. Like we could give an example. What was the one yesterday? Fat. Fat. Yeah. And so it'd be fat and then they'd go and then Jay was like. It happens around Mardi Gras time. Fat Tuesday. Fat Tuesday. It's over when this happens. Fat lady sings. When the fat lady sings. Oh, no. So we yell it out. So we got to back off the mic. 570-1949. M1 Brock is outside hanging with the people outside. There you go. That's what I'm talking about. Party time. And anybody can come down here, man. The weather's cleared up. You can come down to 1615 Murray Canyon Road, top level of the parking structure. And you're listening to the Mikey-thon, 28 hours of broadcasting. Brock, who do you want to pick? I'm with my boy, Woodsy. All right, you got it. Hang on. Let's hear it. M1, Adam from San Diego. Who do you want? Going with you, Mikey. You got it. Hang on. M1, Mason from Del Mar. Who do you want? I got Sienna. You got it? I love your name.
Sweet. And M1 kissed a baby from Santee. How are you? All right. How you doing? Y'all better kiss a baby. You better kiss that baby. Who do you want? Kiss. I'll take L-O-B. There you go. There you go. I want to squeeze him. All right. Okay. What is the buzzword? Today's buzzword is egg. All right. Here we go. To antagonize him. Egg on! You have to call out your name, right? No, you yell it out. You've got to be watching us. Who's keeping score? Yeah, who's going to keep score? I'll do it. It's all I'm good for anyway. Who won that one? Wait, hold on. Let me get ready here. I think she did. Don't look at me like that. I think he may have just edged me out. Woods, you got it. I thought it was Woods. Here we go. A kind and generous person. Egg timer. Yeah, that's minus one. Yeah. A kind. A good egg. Oh, yeah. That's good, Woods. Once we scream once, we can't scream again. Is that correct? Yes. All right. Do you have your get and your... Let me get positioned here for some silliness. Nice. I feel sick. Okay. Here we go. Slogan of the American Egg Board. Slogan of the American Egg Board. We're better egg.
Yeah. We're egg-cellent. Yeah. Can you speed that up? And anybody else? Nope. No. Incredible edible egg. Dang it. Idiot. Here we go. Depending on a single investment plan or... Nest egg! Ow. Dang it. Nope. Damn it. Mm-mm. Yeah. Depending on a single plan or investment... What did you say? You said nest egg? I said nest egg, which makes sense. I almost said that, too. Depending... This is crucial. On a single plan or investment. Goose egg. I don't know. I have no idea. Were you being serious? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Putting all your eggs in one basket. Man. I hate this game. Yeah. I love it. I don't like egg. I love it too. What was flowing yesterday. Here we go. Soaked in brine. Pickled egg. Egg on your face. That wood's got it. You got to at least let me scream her.
Okay, the score is Mike and Sienna, negative one. Lauren, negative two. Woods, two. This is so much harder than it was yesterday. Yeah, this is a hard one. This is a hard one. Okay, here we go. Maybe pick an easier one. Not wonton, nor... I got you! Woods. Oh, I nailed you. Oh, my God. Woods got that. Oh, my God. Okay, here we go. I'm getting right on the mic. Get on the mic, Mike. Chocolate shelled eggs. Can't carry eggs! Ew. That's nice. Wow. Why are you screaming at Jake? It's making me nervous. He's going to run at him. What comes before Eye and the Walrus? Eggman, Daniel. What the heck? Okay, Woods has five and we're only in negatives. I know. Here we go. I've got two more. Get out of here. What? I've got two more. About a harder one. About a different one. Yeah. Saving for retirement. That's right. Mikey. Yeah. Mikey, you're at zero.
So should we make this one for more points? For like five. Five points. Here we go. Or do a different word. Here we go. Do a different word. Do a different word. We're finishing this up. Everybody relax. Hate egg. Dr. Seuss breakfast story. That was Mike. Oh, yes. Mikey just got five. I swear we played yesterday where you said your name, not screaming out. No, you're screaming out right out. Because it's harder to distinguish who's... Woods and Mikey are tied. How about we use a different buzzword? Yes. I hate egg. Come on, Jack. Come on. Fine, here we go. Okay, do you like the word apple? Yes. Fine. Fine. Wow. It's like they're mad at me. I'm just picking the card. I'm just picking the card. Relax. The object of my affection. Apple pie. Sienna. Sienna. Cinnamon dessert named for a lady. Sweet as apple pie. Yes. Wait, say it again. Yes. I want to make mad passionate apple love to you. Apple orgy. Cinnamon dessert named for a lady. Oh. Apple tart? Yeah. I don't even know what that is. It's an apple brown Betty. I've never heard of it. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Here we go. Mike, stop being mad at apples and eggs. Apples and eggs. He's never going to eat them again. That would be my least favorite food. Here we go. Lump in a man's throat. Adam's apple. Adam's apple. Oh my gosh, I almost said egg. I think Mikey got that one. Egg drop soup. Even though it took you the longest to get it out, he started before everybody else. The score is... Mikey's six, only because he got that one five-pointer. Lauren, negative three. Sienna, negative one. Woods, five. Here we go. Mine's legit. 70s, Tim Conway.