Mikeython - 2010 - Part 5

0:00Don Knox flick. Oh, oh, oh. Who? I'm going to pretend to know it. It's a 70s Tim Conway slash Don Knox flick. Or Don Knox. Or Don Knox. Or Don Knox. Or Don Knox. What did I say? Don Knox. Leave him alone. The Apple Dumpling Gang. Thank you. Don Knox. Mikey's winning now. Don Knox. It's right in front of him. You're right in front of me. Here we go. New York's nickname. Lauren. BS. Lauren. Now Lauren's at negative two. Chill out, Woods. Yeah. You guys even watch? Wait, listen. It's a radio show. Public TV Kids Science Show. No way. No way. Public TV's Kids Science Show. Pass. Newton's Apple. Really? Come on. The All-American Dessert. Applebee! Woods. Dang it! Pick the worst ones next time.

1:01I am picking from the front of the box. The worst. I want a new word. New word. I've got a BB gun out here. You got a new word? New word. Come on, give us a new word. One more new word. One more and then we're done. I don't want a BB. Okay. This is a head. A head. Oh, this is easy. Wait, wait. A head. A head. It's the word head? A head. A head. Like a head. Getting a head in line. I already don't like this. Oh, God. I hate the cards. Don't hate the cards. Get another one. I hate it. Orange Road. Orange road sign warning of diverted route. Detour ahead! Warning ahead! Stupid. Hold on. Orange road sign warning diverted route. Oh! Detour ahead! Thank you. Mikey's winning. Is he? Yeah. End up better than expected. Come out ahead!

2:04I love it when it's only one person screaming. Something like saving your voice. Drink a lot of water there, Woods. Drink a lot of water. We're pros here. Come on. That's the worst game for our 28 hours. I know. Right in front of you. Straight ahead! Really? Right in front of you. Ahead of you! What the heck? Straight ahead. I just said that. The answer they have written on here is dead ahead. Dead ahead. Who says that? Dead ahead. Nerds. Losers. Jump to a conclusion. Ahead of the game. Get ahead of yourself. Lauren. Lauren. Yeah. Mikey. Yeah. It's so embarrassing to be the only one. Score, score, score, score, score, score. Mike, seven. Woods, six. Lauren and Sienna, negative two. Are we ready? Another one? Yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got to do this. ABCT San Diego. You're listening to the Mikey Thon for Rady Children's Hospital on FM 94.9. The following takes place between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. All right, go ahead. Okay, let's see.

3:29What you say right before make my day. Go ahead. I forgot we were playing. I forgot we were playing. What? Woods and Mike are now tied. All right. So we're going to do what? Three more questions. Okay. Stop now before you lose ground. Quit while you're ahead. Very good. Nice. Simply attempting to make ends meet. Just trying to get ahead. A thinking strategy and checkers. Thinking ahead. One step ahead of the other. Person. A thinking strategy and checkers. Jump ahead. I already lost. You already lost. It's fine. Yeah, you got a fake win on that one. I got a good, genuine good win. You got a five point on that. What's that like? I wonder if everybody else enjoyed that. I did.

4:34M1 Adam. I enjoyed it. I genuinely won for you. And congratulations. Enjoy your fake prize. Hang on the line. The prize is quite real. Kid gets hosed daily. And I've got my ear pierced. You think Woods pees on himself and then just gets mad. Oh, wow. Right on. Now? We can do that now? Yeah, because I thought it wasn't going to happen. Okay, let's bring him in the studio. Woods, you're about to get real excited. That's my water. Stop taking my water. No, it's not. It's the second one he's taken. All right, let me mark off what we've done. Oh, boy. Got to do Stump the Don a little bit. Got to list the top five hottest women of the decade. Woods. Okay. Then we'll bring these ladies in. Let's have them come on in. Hi, ladies. Grab this microphone right here. Pull this microphone down.

5:43And we'll have you guys on here. We're going to ask you, what are your names? Right into the mic. You need to be this close to the microphone. There you go. My name is Dakota. Dakota. And what is your name? I'm Shauna. Shauna and Dakota. I have to write that down because I will not. I will not remember. Shauna and Dakota, right? Yes. Shauna and Dakota. Shauna and Dakota are San Diego State cheerleaders. Wow. And do you know what they're here for? Cheerleading. No, Woods, but you're close. To cheer us on. That is a good guess. I lost my voice. Are you ready? Yep. They are here, Woods and Lauren and Sienna, to teach you guys a cheer. The three of us? That's right. What about you? What about Jay? What about Jay? Jay, too. Oh, good. And I'm going to judge it. They're a judge. So, I will commentate. You ever commentate? I will judge on the competition. You ever judge on the competition? And I will be really cool. I dare you. So, Shauna and Dakota, how long have you guys been San Diego State cheerleaders? I'm a second year. This is my fourth year. Fourth year. Oh, my goodness. Captain.

7:07Are you the captain of the squad? Are you the captain of the squad? Are you the one that flies up and flips? The flyer? Is that called the flyer? I have one thing, but that's not what I normally do. I normally back spot. Really? Okay, well, here's what we're going to do. Are you guys on a time constraint? You're not. So you have a little bit of time? Yes. Okay, cool. Blowing off glass real good? No. So, question. How long does it take to become a cheerleader? Have you been doing it all your life? I have been. I've been doing it since I was five. How about you? I was a gymnast first for like 16 years. Me too. And then I started cheering. Woods wasn't. I did gymnastics. You did? How did you do gymnastics? Yeah, how did you do gymnastics? It was before the boobs grew in, all right? Good Lord. Sienna. What? Were you ever a cheerleader? When I was really little. Like? Elementary school. Oh, I was going to say A cup. They weren't even A's then. She put a whole new meaning in flip-flop. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. She has big boobs. Cheerleaders don't like flip-flops, so that's not really... I ran for students. No, they do flip-flops. You know, they flip backwards. It doesn't work with me here. Come on. Lauren, were you ever a cheerleader? No. I wanted to be one. You did? I knew some of the cheers from going to the football games. You have good rhythm and stuff. Eh, questionable. Really? I don't know.

8:33I thought you were okay dancing. I'm a good free-form dancer, but when I have to do choreographed stuff, I always go the wrong way and freak out. That's weird. When I was in seventh grade, I did a cheer in front of the whole school by myself. Wow. Oh, wow. Who didn't? Would you like to hear it? Yes, yes. Yeah. I was running for student council spirit. Stand up. I will. Yes. You remember it? It's really quick, and it's not very exciting, so don't get too excited. Sounds like Jay's lovemaking. Wow. That was just with you. Okay. Wow. Keep in mind, I was running for school spirit, and I won. Wow. Well, that's because you have big jugs. And my cheer. I got spirit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, boy. Oh, my goodness. Wait, wait. She has to do it again. Wow. Those were all over. I mean, it's coming in here. I don't think we can be friends anymore. I'm serious. I was in seventh grade. I don't care. One more time. One more time. This time, try not to laugh. Babe, you've got to come over where I am. This is boobrific. Boobrific?

9:50Sorry. No, she's fine. That's a great cheer. No! It was a good cheer. Go ahead. No! I want to see the dorkiness. That's what it was. They're not. It was the dorkiness. I want to see the dorkiness. She has a black eye. I got a spirit! It's like an earthquake in her chest. You're welcome. I seriously don't know that I can be friends. My husband was probably like, what the heck is that? I got the what, what, what, what, what, what, what. I think it's cute. I didn't make it up. It was an actual cheer. I like it. I believe that. Have you guys ever heard of that cheer? I performed it. Yeah. Maybe you work it in your rotation. Come on up. So, wait a minute. Shawna. Shawna. And Dakota. And now who? Jamie. Jamie. That's a great name. That's his wife's name. That's my wife's name. My wife was captain of the cheerleaders. I married her. Wow. Okay. Exactly. Would any of you ladies ever consider trying out to be like a Charger girl? Yeah? That's cool. That'd be cool. You should try that cheer. Okay. Now, here's what we're going to do. Yeah. They got to teach you guys. Chances you can teach them a cheer that they can actually do. Yeah. Good? Yeah, we have one of mine. Really? No flippy floppies or anything? Nope.

11:16No flips. How about they do it? I'll just hang with you. No. I mean, I got my ear pierced already. Well, I'm trying to think how we're going to do this. It should just be the three. Three's a lot better than four. We should go out and do it on the stage. Go out and do it on the stage? Yeah. Well, they'll teach it in here, and then we'll go out there and do it. Yeah. That's going to take a lot of time to get everybody out there. Yeah, you're right, dude. That's why we have them ones down here. All right, fine. Let's do it out there. Let's do it out there on the stage. You got my ears pierced. You're going to get. I have an earring. You're going to do the cheer. Yeah. Oh, why? This is so classy. All right. So, Jay. Yes. Here's my idea. They're not on any time constraint. Okay. Okay. And so can we do something here and then we'll do a best of so people can hear what we do. And while that's playing, they can be taught the cheer.

12:15And then when we come back from playing an example of what we do, then you guys can perform the cheer. I like it. Is that cool? Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay, ladies. Then you guys can have a seat. You guys have a seat. And okay, so here's what we're going to do right now. We have discussed this and we are going to do a segment called Throw Your Spouse Under the Bus. This segment is called Throw Your Spouse. Under the bus. Okay. Done. Now, Woodsy. Yep. This is going to be easy for you because Jamie's out of town. Yeah. Uh, L.O.B. This is going to be tougher for you because. I'm not married. Your boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Well, it's your spouse. It's your significant other. Yeah. Yeah. He's, uh, he's gigging right now. That's right. Uh, Sienna. Yeah. Are you comfortable throwing your spouse under the bus? I'm trying to think of.

13:17A good one. Just so many. My spouse is not in the room. And so... Her mom is. Her mom is here. So be careful. Be careful. Hi, Mama G. But I don't have any problem doing it. Even with her mom in the room, I don't have a problem doing this. But Rebecca will be mortified. Can we bring... We need to get her in there. No? No? Okay. I don't know where she is. But we will either wait for her to get back or we'll call... Why don't we call her? Okay. We call her. Let's find her. Let's call her. Call herself. Do they get to throw us under too? I just feel. Mine doesn't. That's true. Yeah, yours doesn't. She can later. Yeah. When I tell you about hers, she's going to freaking kill me. And I mean freaking kill me. So we can throw them under the bus even if they're not around. Yes. That's the whole point. I mean, she's going to freaking kill me. We should do it when they're here, right? No way. Well, we're going to get Rebecca on the phone.

14:20And I even have something to show you. Oh. I even have something to show you. Oh, wow. As I throw her under the bus. Okay. This story has never been told on the radio before. So you guys are going to hear something on the radio that has never been told before. Jay is trying to get her on the phone because she's dealing with an RV and all kinds of stuff here. Let me see. And I also have some music. That's not it. That isn't it. But I do have some music that I'm going to need for this. Does anybody, can you go, Lauren? Can you tell yours? Well, gosh, mine's one of the greatest stories of all time, but it's kind of not maybe in the FCC regulations. I can tell mine. Okay, go ahead. I've got two. The first one is a little more tame. You guys ever heard of a professional hockey player? He's one of the best in the business. His name is Mike Madano.

15:34Oh, yeah. Played for the Dallas Stars for years. Won a Stanley Cup. Very sharp, attractive dude. If you are attracted to dudes that look like horses. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. With giant teeth. Oh, wow. That eat carrots and hay. Oh, man. He's the all-time leader in goals for American-born players. So he's a big, big deal. And in Dallas, he's a huge deal where we're from. Jamie and him used to make out. At Morris. What? Yep, used to make out with Mike Madano at bars. They'd run into each other and go, oh, hey, what's up? And then they'd make out. Frenching bad. Yeah, Frenching real good. And I was told that that was all that happened. And I guess I buy it because that's my wife and she didn't lie to me. So she used to make out with a professional hockey player. Are you kidding me? Mike Madano, yeah. Yeah, big one. And then, God, she's going to, I mean, she's going to kill me. She's going to be mad. This one, she's going to be mad. She had to do a routine in front of the whole school in seventh grade. She farted. That's what mine has to do. She farted. She was doing a balance beam and like did something and she farted. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. That happens. She's never. I'm like the only person that knows that story. And she's probably entire school. Yeah, that in her school. She's on a plane. Now, luckily for me, my wife is beautiful and whatever. And like people fart. I almost didn't marry her because of it. But, you know, I got over it.

16:59I am mortified every time she tells me a story. And it's mortifying. But in front of the whole school, yeah. That's what Todd's involved, too. Weird. What is it? The first time we ever hung out, we were... Does that mean make love? No, it doesn't. It means hung out. Does that mean second base? It was the first time I really met him. I'm not clear on bases, by the way. I'll tell you. Okay. Off the air. It was the first time I really had met him. Don't look at me like that when you say it, though. It's so weird when you raise your eyebrows. Oh, gross. And a mutual friend of ours had, like, one of those little houses that you can rent in Mission Beach, like, on the boardwalk. Yeah. And so we had a bunch of people there, and there were beach cruisers, and everyone got on the bikes, and we were, like, there's 20 people riding the bikes on the boardwalk. And, like, I, you know, first time I'd ever met Todd. Todd Falls on the bike. Everyone, not just on the bikes of our group, but it was a summer day. Everyone on the boardwalk stops and looks at him and sees if he's okay. We'd had a few adult beverages. Just a few. And people go to him and he's laughing so hard that he farted. And it was a bad one. And so not only did he fall, but then he farted and everyone heard it. It was the first time I met him and man, I love that guy. I'm dead.

18:24Check your phone. I'm going to. She's going to kill me. That's brilliant, though. What? The fart story. Oh, they always are. So great. Lauren just showed me. What it was about. What it was about. And you can't say with what. Right. But you can say that that. Yeah. Right. Gosh. I'm really thankful that Matt's working right now. So we were only dating for a little bit and I was coming to meet him. For some reason, he was down at his brother's house in PB and we were going to meet and then go watch the Eagles game at a bar down there called Plum Crazy because it's an Eagles bar. So I call him and I'm on my way and he's like, you sure you don't need to get this and that? And I'm like, no, not really. He's like, can you pick this up for me? I'm like, okay. So I walk in, you know, I go and I run this. Aaron that he put me on. I walk into the apartment and he's like, he stops me in the doorway. He's all sweaty. He's got his pants rolled up. And he's like, I thought I would have had this figured out before you got back, before you got here. He's like, I don't want you to go any further. I'm like, what? Oh, God. I flooded the toilet. And I'm like, oh, come on. It's not that bad. And he's like.

19:34Oh, it's bad. Oh, no. We hadn't been dating that long. Oh, we've been dating. Pants are rolled up. Three or four months. Oh, no. He could be dating three or four years. He's dating three or four decades. He is dripping with sweat trying to figure this situation out. And I'm like, how bad can it be? And he's like, seriously, I don't want you to go. Please do not. I would not allow you. I would not allow you. I would forcibly reject you. But we had to fix the situation because you were in his brother's house. He had already ruined all of his brother's towels. Oh my gosh. And then he's like, he had tried to... No mop? There was no mop? There was no mop. His brother was a bachelor living in PB, so he's just using whatever he can find. So he's like, he's trying to use a plunger and it's just making the situation worse. There's like sloshing going on and just all kinds. Like, not a bat. Not a pretty... I stepped in. Yeah, that was my reaction. I stepped in. He's like, don't go in there. I'm like, come on. Of course you did. I'm going to figure it out. We're in this together. So then we decided the only thing that we could do is to kind of like siphon it by like scooping. Yep, see it. That'll do it. Okay, yeah. Woods just took his headphones off. Wow. Scooping?

20:50Plastic with what? With what? Well, we looked around for with what. Yeah, why not just get his brother's glasses? You're going to be a great mom. How about a hose? We did all this. Oh, Jay. We did all this. So I'm like, okay, he's got, looks like there's some milk in here or a milk carton or something. So I'm like, I'll cut the top off of a, it was a plastic milk gallon. I'm like, I'll cut the top off of that. I cut the top off of that and the smell in that was worse. from the smell in there because it was rotten milk. And so he's going like, oh, man, what's the matter with him? I'm like, what's the matter with him? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with him? So anyway. He's like, my brother's so gross. He's filthy. Don't nobody go in the bathroom. So we start siphoning, like, into garbage bags and stuff. Of course you did. Oh, and then his, eventually his brother came home and gave it one swift plunge and it was like, bloop. Just went right down. And I'm like, I wasn't in there while Matt was doing the plunging because he wouldn't let me go in there. Please stop talking. And so I was like, what were you in here doing the whole time? He was plunging like a jackhammer. And I guess he wasn't doing it right. And things were just splashing. So the worst part of the story is, so we get it all cleaned up. Matt takes a shower. I leave for a little bit to, like, let him clean up. To decide if he's still on a date. Yeah, get some dignity. Okay, so I come back. Do not go in there. I come back to the house.

22:16Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. I should have spoken up, but I didn't. There's a homeless man rifling through the dumpster. My jaw just dropped. My jaw just dropped. Poor fella. My jaw just dropped. My jaw just dropped. No. Where the garbage bags were. No. No. No. And all the towels. Oh, no. Come out. He's wearing the towels. He's got a hole in them. I was like, I wanted to be like, sir, stop. Don't do it. But I also didn't want to call him out for the fact that, you know, his life had come to the point where he's digging through a dumpster. So I just didn't say anything. Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store? Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Matt is going to hell me. We've never told him. Me, him, and his brother are the only ones that knew. Until now. Now, thousands and...

23:18And thousands and thousands of San Diegans. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, my gosh. Well, I've been married to Kim for 23 years. And there's plenty of stories, but the one that strikes me as the most appropriate. The other day, I'm working on the computer, and she comes up, stands in the doorway, and she kind of leans up, and all of a sudden I hear, and I look up at her, and I said, and she's just trying to carry on the conversation. She's like, well, so. Like it didn't happen. Like nothing happened. I'm like, trust me. I could not even tell if she's ever gone to the bathroom in her entire life because I've never seen any evidence at all. There's no evidence in 20 plus years. Yeah. That's impressive. That is impressive. She goes. That's a little gift. Yeah. It is what you think it was. Now let's move on. Wow. Right now, her face is bright red. Wow. She thought she could squeeze it out. It happens. That's not bad in 23 years. Yeah. Not one time. All right. I think this one might get you guys. This one may get you. This one may be more than making out with Mike Madonna. It may be more than flooding the apartment. It may be more than Sienna's little cheer. Oh, that was bad enough. It may be more than Todd farting on the mic. Or Kim accidentally Putin. I hate that word, Mikey. You got her on the line. Yep.

24:50Hi, honey. I like the direction this is headed. I bet not. Well, I have good news and I have bad news. You should be very careful right now, babe. I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that it's nothing gross. It's nothing disgusting. It's nothing that will embarrass you in that way. But that's the good news. The bad news is... When I tell it, you'll almost wish that that's what it was. Oh, wow. Great. Perfect. I'm dying to know. I'm mad at you for her. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm really curious, but I'm also mad at you. You won't be mad. You won't be mad, ladies. Okay. Because what you're about to hear is going to make your day. Be careful. When Rebecca and I were dating, okay?

25:53We were both a fan of the Lord of the Rings. Greetings. Where is this going? I was waiting to see if she would make any noise, but she didn't. So maybe she's thinking either she doesn't remember or she's thinking he would never, ever, ever tell that story. I think I'm a little bit in shock right now. You know. Rebecca, you know what it is? Don't do it. Don't do it. Rebecca. You know you can turn her down. You can pull her phone. You can pull that all the way down. No, we want to hear her. We don't have to hear her saying don't do it. Well, you guys, you see, you guys may, like Woods, he's never seen Lord of the Rings. Nope. And have you seen it before? Oh, yeah. I love it. How about you? I saw the first one. Yeah, that's it. Then you'll know. You guys remember. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. Oh, Rebecca.

27:00You guys remember Liv Tyler in the movie? Yeah. Beautiful. Elven girl. That makes my mouth water. Okay. She was in love with Aragorn, who would eventually become king. Of course he would. Woods. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. No, you're not. It's okay. How red is her face right now? It's okay. I'm going to tell you that what I'm about to tell you is completely true. Oh, boy. You don't lie. Mikey does not lie. No, no, no. I had flown in from Dallas. I was living in Dallas. I flew in from Dallas and I was staying with Rebecca and she brought me into the living room almost like ceremonially. She started playing a CD and it was this music. I can't believe you. From the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she then... Sorry, honey, but I actually have it with me. What is it? He's holding a wooden box that says the Lord of the Rings on the box. Who has that? What in the name of God is in that thing? It's a little wooden box. No, babe. Do not hang up, babe. Do not hang up. Do not hang up. She's mortified. Do not show them that. Too late.

28:38I'm opening the box. Oh, he's opening it. Oh, it's something silver. And inside the box is the pendant. Oh. Oh. The pendant. What is that? Oh, my God. It's a necklace, a silver, like, diamond. It's huge. It's a nerd pendant. It's like an essence. It's a nerd pendant. It's the pendant. Okay, okay. So I gave him the Evan Star pendant. The Evan Star pendant. Evan Star pendant. Okay, that's it. The Evan star. Oh, no, no, it is not it. Oh, no, it is not it. Oh, no, it is not it. How embarrassing. Oh, Rebecca. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Did she let you open the box yourself? No, no. Here's what she did. How did she present it? She took my hand and opened my hand. Lauren has her hands over her face. Then she put it in my hand and she folded my fingers. It was out of the box. Oh, yeah. She took the pendant out. Show me. Let me do it with Woods. Opened your hand, presented it, and, you know, daintily laid it, and then folded your fingers over it. What were you doing? Dramatic. I'll get to that. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. I'll get to that. Oh, no. Oh, no. The best is yet to come. Oh, no. It gets better.

30:04This is for a man or a woman? It looks like a... You see, in the movie... Listen. Let me see it. It doesn't matter. It's just a nerd will do it. In the movie... It's a beautiful love film. Yeah, it is. It's a pretty pendant. In the movie Lord of the Rings, she takes off her pendant because he's going away. Of course. Where's he going? To fight Zoltar? I don't know. In the Battle of Rigor Mortis? No, it's her Evan Star pendant, and she's giving up immortal life. Yeah, of course she is. Big. And so she gives it to him. She presents it to him. Okay. And when she does, she says something to him that's very, very touching. But you see, she says it in Elvin. Oh, my God. I see you. Elvin the language? Yes. Is that a real language? And so, in her living room of her condo, there we are, standing there. She's presented me with the Evan Starr necklace. And you are doing what at this point? I may have been a full-blown alcoholic drunk on wine.

31:31And I may have cried. Oh. Wait, this is embarrassing for you then, Mike. The looks on the faces of the cheerleaders in this room, they just went, they had looks on their faces like, oh my God. Mike. Like, oh my gosh. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, it gets better. It gets better. How can it get better? It can. It actually gets. Did Frodo walk in the room? No. How could it possibly be? A unicorn walked in. Yeah, you said a unicorn. I have to go. No, no, babe. Babe. Oh, my gosh. This is the worst. Speak Elvin and tell us the Elvin thing that you said. What did you say? Please, please, please, please. No. possible way. Please. I'm begging you. We're begging you. She didn't even say, I don't know it anymore. She knows it. She memorized it. She had to memorize it to say it to me. Babe, please. Say something. Please, God, please. Please. I need absolute assurance. I need to be in the trust tree. No.

32:46And this will never be brought up again. Absolutely. 100%. No problem. It will never. Countless. Ever. 100%. They're crossing. It will never be spoken up again. It will never. Turn her mic off. Don't turn my mic off. It will never be spoken up again. I won't bring it up at dinner Saturday night. Okay. Rebecca, we love you. It's going to be okay. Yeah. Come on, babe. It's going to be fun. It's going to be hilarious. Speak to me again in Elvish. Oh, my gosh. Ever wish your husband was a banker? Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Okay. Don't make fun of me. Oh, of course not. No. Why would we do that? We don't do things like that. We don't do that. Are you going to be hating me? Okay. Don't laugh. We will not. There's nothing funny about this. Yeah. It's romantic. I love you. Okay. I love you, hon. Sorry, Arwen. Come on. I don't want to. No, you got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. Stop it. No, we can't. No, please. Just a little.

34:28That was beautiful. Look at Lauren O'Brien. Look at Lauren O'Brien. Listen to Mikey cry. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If I was just a fly on the wall of this room. So Rebecca said that to you in all seriousness? In complete seriousness. No, no, no. You don't understand. You don't understand. Like, after folding my fingers over the pen, and I'm like this. Two dorks. Two dorks. The best part is shock jock, free beer Friday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Strippers in the studio, drunk Mikey, and sitting there into it. And I mean, like, I freaking love this woman, man. I can't believe this. Rebecca seems so normal. Same thing happens to me.

35:34The same thing happens to me. I go, oh. What is your problem? Are you on cocaine? Are you doing cocaine? Wait, so did you say Elvin back to her? No, because I hadn't memorized it. So what did you say? I don't know. I was like, I love you. Epic, epic, epic, epic. You guys are weird. Oh, it's beyond weird. No, weird is like just giving me the pendant. Yeah. That's weird. Giving me the pendant and me crying, that's weird. Okay, okay. I can see giving the pendant as a bit almost going, hey, babe, look what I got you. Lord of the Rings, we're both in. That was it. That was it. Was it? I bet she was in a white robe. Babe, did you wear something? No. I don't know. I don't remember. Don't you? Wait a minute. That's like a nice, that wasn't cheap. That's a nice pendant. No.

36:37It was cheap. No, that's not cheap. It's not. It's not cheap. I looked at the silver is engraved. It's like crystal and silver. It's engraved. Not engraved, but like there's markings which mean it's solid. It says Pinua Uncala Milita Ota forever. It's like what you order out of the back of the airplane magazine. Oh, my God. I'm not sure if it actually was from Revendale, you know, the place that the elves are from. Because on the back of it, it says... New Line Pictures Productions trademark. Made in Taiwan. How many times have you worn that? Made by little Asian hands in Taiwan. How many times have you worn that? It won't fit around my fat neck. If she tried to put this on me, it would have been like Leia putting it around Jabba the Hutt. I'd have been like... So this was kind of like because you guys were in a long distance relationship. It was like her sign of love. I give you my immortality. Can anybody make it worse than Lauren O'Brien? Nobody. Nobody makes it worse than Lauren O'Brien. I'm a fact checker. She knows how to get you real good. That was excellent. I found the necklace online. How much? 100.

38:01And $39. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that elven dollars? I don't know. It says the Lord of the Rings. Honey, where are you? Come upstairs. The Lord of the Rings, 925, silver, Arwins, Evan, star, filigree tall. Wow. You should have seen Woods' face when she was speaking elvish. What does it mean in English? They say like in subtitles on the screen. It means. You're the only other nerd out there that speaks this language. Let's be nerdish. Let's nerd it forever. Take your pants off. I'm speechless. Let me ask you, in a million years. Never. Never. Never.

38:52Thank God you had that pendant. I might expect it from you, from Rebecca. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah, not from Rebecca. Not from me. That's why I'm in love with her. A hundred. She's as big a nerd as I am. A hundred. No, she hides it because she's so good looking. Yeah, she's good looking. She hides it. Yeah, she hides it. Wow. I'm, I'm, I don't know, words. Somebody bid, somebody bid the $1,500 for the dinner. Yeah. Nice. Here we go. Very nice. Off and running. Just dipping their toe in there real good. Feels real good. And right now, the Alice in Chains guitar is at $150. M1 Hawk, if you're listening, maybe make that right for the kid. There you go. Christmas present. Christmas present. Would love it. Let's see. The autographed flat from Mews is at $30. The Cage the Elephant autographed guitar is at $150. The Pacquiao boxing glove is at $90. The Gary Hoey guitar is at $100. And the Pro Flowers for a year, $150. Oh, here's my little elf. Oh, hi. Greetings, Rebecca. That was beautiful. Greetings, greetings, greetings. Little elven princess. Greetings, greetings, greetings. Honey, over to the microphone. We said we wouldn't. You said you wouldn't. We would never speak of it again. We had our fingers crossed. We had our fingers crossed. Yep. Yeah, just all of us like this. Not me. Me and mine.

40:22I won't speak of it. I will. Sienna is my friend and won't speak of it. I won't either. I will. The tears welled up in these little eyes when she started to speak Elvish. They spilled over. They didn't spill over. They spilled over. Oh. Adorable. Oh, I hate when L.O.B. says, wow, Mike. Wow, Mike. Oh. You know. It's not like you guys all haven't exchanged Evan Starr pendants with your loved ones and recited something beautiful in Elvish. No, we had intercourse. That's what we did. That's what we exchanged. Yeah, that's what we exchanged. Intercourse. You know, Rebecca said something yesterday that I think is 100% true. She goes, you know, we were talking about because I got Lord of the Rings on Blu-ray. Weird. And Rebecca goes, you know, Woods. has revealed things that we would have never thought. And I said, that's true. She goes, I can almost guarantee you that if he watched Lord of the Rings, he'd like it. I believe it. He would. Best picture, bro. It won, bro. Not because it was dorky. Dances with wolves? He didn't like that. Lame. Listen, if I had to watch that, the first time I saw some little

41:50Nerd, come on. I would pee in my pants from laughing. I already did that. I would bust a gut laughing. It's so... They would have an attention span. It was way too long. That's why I only watched one of them. Dumb. I live in the real world, man. You show me something gritty, bloody, whatever I'm in. This fantasy land of guys coming out of trees and stuff, like little holes in trees. It's a story. You don't like a good story? No. Not like there's elves in it or aliens. I'm out. It's like an imagination. I have an imagination. I read... Judy Blume. Yeah, exactly. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. It's me, Margaret. I have my period. I got my period again, Margaret. What are you going to do? It's real life. I loved it. I didn't love it enough to buy an elven pendant, but I loved it. She'll just kill you. She will just kill you. How many times have I had you to my home? Rebecca knew her boyfriend at the time, and she did something sweet. Hey, she was into Lord of the Rings, okay? Obviously. Oh, she's coming to defend herself. She's coming to defend herself. I will defend you. I'm telling you.

43:01The love story. I know. It is. I love love stories. I love love stories. You know what's good in the notebook? It's actually a tragic love story. If the notebook had elves in it, I wouldn't like it. It's beautiful. But I'll watch the notebook and be like. It is a beautiful love story. And in addition to that. Yeah, but. I don't like fake stuff. Oh, it's a beautiful love story. Oh, yeah. It's gorgeous. Mordor. Feel good. From Mordor. To your front door. Is that? I don't know. I can't get into it. Why are we still talking about this? Let's tell it again. No. That's best stuff, so it'll be replayed. Oh, yeah. A thousand percent. Oh, yeah. That's brilliant. Never told that story on the air. What's going through your head when you're like, I'm going to do this? How did you get the idea big? I just, I love the movie. I love that scene. And I know that you do too. We watched it together. Yeah. And we love their love story. Yeah. And I thought it was beautiful. It was. And there's a particular scene, you know, they're on a bridge in Rivendell. And, you know, it's just this beautiful, touching scene. It's gorgeous. Yeah. And I thought that the symbol of the necklace and giving it to him was just beautiful. So then I started thinking, well, you know, I wonder why I could get. Turn it up a notch.

44:21Turn it up a notch. We'll just bring the heat. She did something really sweet. She knew the man and did something that touched his heart. Absolutely. She wouldn't have done it to you because she knows you, but she knows Mike. She knows I'm nerdy enough that I would cry drunkenly. He still kept it. Look, he has it. I still have the Rivendell pendant. Evan Star. Idiot. Idiot. Not even worthy of the Evan Star pendant. What sort of pendant it is. Moron. I'm putting it on. I'm wearing it. It looks immaculate. Will you wear it for the rest of the show? It wouldn't fit around his wrist or mine. I'll wear it. I love it. It wouldn't fit around Jabba's neck, so I can't wear it. It wouldn't fit around his chins. Rebecca, you did a really sweet thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was great. Thanks, guys. Well, that would have been our last date. I pretty much knew I was going to marry her at that point. We were in love already. I would have said I thought that I loved you. Let's make love one more time. It never would have happened with you. She wouldn't have done that with you.

45:36Let's just end it here. Take your clothes off. I'm going to get out of here and I'll call you later. I promise I will. I'm going to call you. She would have given you a beanie baby of a Yorkie. Oh, that would have been right. I would have wept. Or like maybe recited some baseball player's retirement speech. Why don't you sing the song that you sing to Penny Bell? Great idea since we're in the trust tree. Yes. Since we're in the trust tree, why don't you sing How Dare You. Why don't you sing to everybody what you sing to Penny Bell? All right. You think I won't do it? No, I know you'll do it. And there is nothing. The cheerleaders are watching me right now. I just did a stupid cheer. You're singing Penny Bell. Yeah, that was awful. This will be nothing compared to that. I know. So we have our oldest.

46:32Yorkie. We have five dogs. We have four Yorkies at my house. We're a little bit crazy. And the oldest is Penny Bell. Penny Bell. Two words. So we make up little songs for all the dogs and we sing to them and we're holding them and loving on them. So here's the one that we... What do you got? Nothing. You got something? More than likely. Okay. Here's the one that we sing to Penny Bell. I sing to Penny Bell. It's to the tune. Now, just do it. You don't even have to. People will trust me. I can't. Just do it. You can do it. Stop looking at me. Oh, I just saw his earring. I can't do it. You can do it. You can do it. It's so embarrassing. Pretend little Penny Bell, your Yorkie is in your arms. Who cares? It's just us in the room. Don't put sunglasses on. Ready? Yeah. Holy crap. Do you want a pillow to hold? I need something. It's so hard to do. I know how many people are listening. Don't make me do it. You can do it. It almost came out. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Here in dad's arms, she's the safest of all. She's got pretty blonde fur and her name is Penny Bell.

48:06Here in dad's arms, she's the safest of all. She's got pretty blonde fur and her name is Penny Bell. Wow. That wasn't bad. It's not bad. That wasn't bad. Holy crap. That's the hardest thing I've ever had to do on radio. That's not a big deal. That is so bad. It's just a different type of love. It's love. It's just different. It's awful. I liked it. I heard it yesterday. You're in dad's arms. Jesus. Why do you do it like that? Pretty blonde fur. That's my favorite part. Pretty blonde fur. You're in dad's arms. That was mortifying. I'm sweating. Feel my chest. Oh, gross. You just built his naked chest. Not the first time. Hey, do we have any? Hey, Chris.

49:29Do we have any coffee? Yes. Okay, and then the girls are going to teach you guys a cheer. Okay, so what we have to do is, okay, first of all, let me reset with Mikeython. The reason that the Mikey show is on the air right now is because we're broadcasting for 28 straight hours for Rady Children's Hospital. My son Jake is four years old. He's autistic. We have one-year-old twins. who are typically developing kids. But if you have an autistic kid or if you think that there may be an issue with your kid, you will at some point most likely use Rady Children's Hospital. And Rady is such a big thing in my life and in my heart. If you go to MikeyShow.com and you click on Donate Now, you're going to see a picture of my son, Jake. He is so cute. Have you guys seen this picture? Yeah. So if you click there, you see the little curfew and you can donate money and it goes to the Autism Discovery Institute. And the thing that the thing is, is that if you do this, you actually get to be a part of something. You're actually becoming a part of hopefully.

50:59One day, unlocking the keys to what causes autism. And hopefully one day, there will not be autism. And the exact cause of autism is still unknown. What I can tell you is that here in the United States, an average of one in every 110 kids is diagnosed with autism. My son Jake included. That was between the years 2003 and 2006. there was a 57% increase in cases of autism. And so I really would like to ask you to please give to this cause. Give to Rady Children's Hospital and give to the cause of autism. It's just affecting so many people now. If you go to mikeyshow.com, you can do that. And it would just mean so much. to so many kids. And so I just want you to get there and do that. There are many things that you can bid on. There's an auction going on right now. For $1,500, four people will be able to come to my house. All of us will be there. Me, Sienna, Jay, Woods, L-O-B, and Jeffrey, the owner of Pamplemoo, is going to come out. He's going to

52:31He's going to make a pample moose dinner at the house. And you'll spend time with us and have a good time. Be a blast. Make sure you're going to have a good time that night. There are other things to bid on, too. Silver Sun Pickups autographed swoon poster. Muse autographed black holes flat. Weird Al autographed white nerdy poster. Cage the Elephant autographed guitar with a letter of authenticity attached. Pacquiao autographed boxing glove. Gary Hoey Autographed Acoustic Breed Love Guitar. One Year of Flowers from Pro Flowers. All these things you can bid on right now by going to MikeyShow.com. You can also do it by text. If you want to do it by text, it's very, very easy. All that you do is you open up your text and you text Jake at MOGIV.com. Jake at MOGIV.com. And then where you would put the message, just put the amount you want to donate. My hope is that you want to donate $1,000. But you could donate $5 if you want to. You could donate $10, $20, whatever you want. But it's as easy as texting Jake at M-O-G-I-V dot com. And what it'll do is it's going to send you back a code and a link. You follow the link.

54:01You put in the code, you're going to give your credit card information, and you'll be able to make a donation. It just takes a few minutes. And we really want to raise more money that we have this year than we've ever done before. But what I want for you to be able to do is have ownership of an eternal impact. That while you're here on Earth, you do something that will have an eternal impact. And you can do that right now. Just by calling or going to MikeyShow.com or by texting Jake at M-O-G-I-V dot com. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And it is time for me to do this. KBCT San Diego. You're listening to the Mikey Thon for Rady Children's Hospital on F-94.9. The following takes place between 11 a.m. and 12 p.m. How do you guys feel? Good. Great. My ear's rubbing, but I'm all right. Five hours in. Five hours in. So... That's your ear. You got it pierced. Hey, guys. We have less than a day left. 23 more hours, and we're off the air. Well, that's it. Don't you bright side me, pal, all right? Thank you to Wiener Schnitzel, famous for their secret recipe chili. Smother Wiener Schnitzel's famous, world-famous chili on a grilled hot dog.

55:32Or the new Double Burgers. The new Double Burgers features two 100% all-beef hamburger patties with two slices of melted cheese on a toasted bun. 18 Wiener Schnitzel locations throughout San Diego. Wiener Schnitzel. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you a little example of what the Mikey Show does on a regular basis. And while I do that, while we're doing that, the crew here is going to go with Shauna, Dakota, and Jamie. They are San Diego State cheerleaders. They're going to be taught a cheer. And then they're going to go on stage outside where everybody's welcome. Anybody can come down here. You park on the street, 1615 Murray Canyon Road. Go up to the top of the parking structure. That's where we're going to be. And anybody can come down and watch them do this. By the way, tonight, 5 o'clock, I have a surprise for everybody. Nobody knows about this. My wife knows. And our promotion director knows. But nobody here on the show knows. It's a surprise.

56:32Frodo's coming to marry. You guys are going to renew your vows in front of Frodo and the bridges of Terabithia. And Pan's Labyrinth is going to be there. Whatever that is. You seem to know a lot about the movies. I know a lot about movies, but I've never seen any of them because I like women. AJ, you got to take these off as we go. You got to make sure you take these off as we go. Otherwise, I'll hit them again. Okay. I got to come in there to do it. Okay. All right, let's see. How about... Oh, this is good. The Grey's Anatomy stuff. Love the Grey's Anatomy stuff. Take a listen to a little bit of what we do here on The Mikey Show. Good one. Love it. Jay picked a little Steve Miller. You guys think... You guys think that the Aquanet hair for chicks will come back? No. People said that about a lot of stuff, though. No way, dude. The big hair? Mm-hmm. You should see my wife's senior picture. Good Lord. See my wife's sophomore picture. You just mean like big, puffy hair with hairspray? I'm talking a big, puffy hair with the sides that go out like wings. No. Sprayed to the side? Sprayed wings. Why do you say no, Lauren? Because that stuff is like uber damaging, and I think people know that now. Really? Mm-hmm. I didn't consider that.

58:26Yeah, it's all alcohol. It dries your hair out like a mo. Maybe they'll come up with something, because I think that the look. No. Dude, the dorkier it is. No. Well, the poof is back. What's the poof? It was like the bouffant. Not a fan. In the 50s, and now it's like the snooky poof. Maybe the beehive will come back. I bet. It might. Everything does. Fashion shows, the hairstyles that you see in fashion shows are a lot different than what you see on the street. So are the clothes. Dudes are going to have long hair, bro. Dudes are going to have long hair again. Dudes have long hair. Dudes have long hair. I mean long like Sebastian Bach. Like Lestat? Yeah, like Lestat. At Sienna's wedding. Like Jesse? Like Jesse? Yeah. That's going to come back like an 80s hair rocker. I bet you. Kids are all doing it right now. Yep. Well, I haven't seen the long. No, they do the skater surfer cut. That's right. It kind of molds to their face. Yeah. You know? The shag. If I could do it, I would. The shag. Would you? Oh, 100.

59:26Oh, my God. If I could. Nobody make Mikey with a shag face. Please. See what he looks like. Please. Nobody do that, Woodchip. I just walked right into it. Yeah. Nobody make Mikey with the new surfer shag haircut. What's wrong with it? I like long hair. Yeah. If I could be tall, this is, okay, let me, I'll perform. I'll tell you what, here's my wish list. And before I even say it, I'll tell God, hey, I'm happy. I'm happy. Yeah. You know, I'm 5'6 and bald and Mexican. It's great.