All shows / Best Of Album - 2005 - Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey Show
Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey Show -
Track 7 - Tyrone And Tortilla
2005
Best Of Album - 2005 - Pretty Sure It's The Best Of The Mikey ShowKIOZRock 105.3
poker expertiseracism accusationsfull house meaningspade stereotypespocket ten Mexican handTexas Hold'em DownMexican Hold'emKenny Rogers moviesattorney claimradio show formatpokerracism
In this episode of the Tyrone and Tortilla Show, hosts Tyrone and Tortilla interview self‑proclaimed professional poker player Sam Cabot, accusing him of racism and questioning his expertise. They challenge his poker knowledge by discussing the meaning of a full house, the alleged clan creation of spades, and the stereotype that pocket tens are a "Mexican hand." The conversation devolves into racial stereotypes, references to a violent Texas Hold'em Down incident involving Sam's cousin Rufus, jokes about Mexican Hold'em, and a debate over Kenny Rogers' movies and alleged racism, ending with Sam denying he is an attorney and thanking the hosts.
What happened, in order
Opening Accusations
Tyrone and Tortilla introduce the show, accuse guest Sam Cabot of being a racist, and say they like to paint guests as racists before interviewing him.
Poker Expertise Challenge
Tyrone questions Sam's poker expertise, asks about the meaning of a full house in Tortilla's neighborhood, and whether the clan created the deck with spades.
Racial Stereotypes in Poker Terms
Tyrone and Tortilla claim spades are the least valuable card and pocket tens are the "Mexican hand," then ask why Sam wants Black people to gamble their life savings, referencing a violent Texas Hold'em Down incident inv
Mexican Hold'em and Personal Jokes
Tortilla describes a game called Mexican Hold'em where whites exploit Mexicans, Sam denies, they joke about the flop being an ex-wife's term, and bring up Kenny Rogers' alleged racism.
Kenny Rogers Movie Debate
The hosts argue about Kenny Rogers' beard, the movies Six Pack and Vihas/Siquon, and accuse Sam of liking the film only if the kids are white.
Show Wrap‑Up and Denials
Sam denies being an attorney, calls the interview boring, thanks the hosts, and the segment ends.
People mentioned
956 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Okay, folks. Listen, here's what we do. We get people on that want to be interviewed. And Eddie's our producer. And Eddie says, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, we'll put you on. Now, this guy is a no-name, a person we've never heard of. You've heard of professional poker players, but Eddie said, dude, I've never heard of this guy. What's the deal? He's just trying to capitalize on the whole poker craze. And, you know, he's going to be putting out a book and he claims to be this expert pro poker player about how to teach people. He's like a dude in like a poker for dummies type of thing. Right. I don't know. I've never heard of this guy. Well, let's talk to him as Tyrone and Tortilla. Now, what we do is it's just a thing we do. We like to paint everybody as a racist. You know, when they're not. So we got this guy on hold right now. Hello. Is this Sam Cabot?
You're a professional poker player. Let me introduce ourselves. My name is Tyrone. And I'm Tortilla. And together we are the Tyrone and Tortilla Show. Now, welcome to the show, Sam Cabot. Professional poker player. Now, let me ask you, what makes you such a friggin' expert on poker? Well, I've been studying and playing for about 20 years now. I see. And you like poker, and I'm guessing you can make a lot of money by doing it. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's definitely a lot of money to be made. Now, why do you think that a full house is so good? I mean, in Tortilla's neighborhood, a full house means the social worker starts to pester you about your uncle sleeping in the garage. That's accurate. Okay. Well, a full house is a hard hand to beat. Yeah. Like I said, a full house ain't that good in Tortilla's neighborhood. A lot of people get beat in my full house. Now, let me ask you there, Professor Poker. We're talking to Sam Cabot, and he's a professional poker player. Isn't it true that people like you, you know, the clan, were the ones who created the deck of cards by putting spades in them?
I've never heard that before. Did you say the clan? Right. That group you're in? You know, your club? Isn't it true that you consider the spade to be the least valuable card in any deck because it's the least likely to hold a job down or pay child support? I don't even know what you're talking about. That's actually not true, Tyrone. Go ahead, Tortilla. I heard you call pocket tens the Mexican hand because it's usually worthless. Is that true? No, absolutely not. Liar. Well then, Professor, let me ask you this. Why do you want black people to gamble their life savings away? What? I never said that. Oh, really? And do you normally make it a habit of lying to every black person you talk to? No. I can tell you're lying because your hood's moving. What? Let me ask you this. Have you ever heard of Texas Hold'em Down? That's what happened to my cousin Rufus last summer in Abilene. Three honkers showed him how it's played and he had 13 stitches in his forehead. Texas Hold'em Down.
Very sorry to hear that. Hey, check this out, Sam. We play a game called Mexican Hold'em. It's where white guys like you take advantage of us Mexicans and continue to hold us down by giving us minimum wage jobs. Sounds fun, huh? I don't even know what you're talking about. You do? We're talking to Sam Cabot, professional poker player, honky, Klansman. What? Let me tell you something there, Sam Cabot, professional poker player. I really like poker lingo. Did you know that when I used to unzip, my ex-wife used to call it the flop? Okay. What are we talking about here? Can we talk about poker? I thought we were. Yeah, well, can we get back to the subject? Well, I mean, I guess so. The subject is poker and you are a racist. Right? I'm not a racist. I don't know where you got that from. So you like poker, huh? Yeah, I am a poker player. I'm not a racist. I hardly even knew her. I had to do it. I had to do it, Tortilla. I had to do it. I had to. That got everybody going. That's the oldest trick in the book. Do you know Kenny Rogers? The gambler? I'm aware of Kenny Rogers, yes. He's racist too, isn't he?
No. Big, thick, white person beard? Nobody's racist here that I know of, except for you guys are the ones calling me hockey. I thought it was Siquon. Maybe it is, Sortier. Maybe it is Siquon. Hey, Sam, which one Kenny Rogers play at? Vihas or Siquon? Ah, shut up. Hey, Sam, you ever see that Kenny Rogers movie, Six Pack? That was a good one. Yeah, he drove a race car, right? Yep, with a bunch of little kids as his crew. That's pretty crazy. What do you think about that, Sam? Sam likes it as long as the kids are white. Right, Sam? I don't know why you keep making these comments about me being racist. You're crazy, Dr. Poker. All right, we're talking to a professional attorney and poker player, Sam Cabot. Where did you get your doctorate?
I'm not an attorney. I never said I was. Thank you very much. You've been boring. This has been Sam Cabot, professional poker player. Thank you for coming on the Tyrone Tortilla Show in Radioland. Yeah, thanks. I'm all in.