The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/05/11
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Ted Williams comebackparenting and autismvaccines and medical fraudCraigslist email scandallistener criticismcigarette litteringtelevision culturestrange addictionsSnooki's novelradio show comedyradiocomedy
The show followed Ted Williams's overnight leap from homelessness to national voiceover offers, while Todd supplied the day's wildest comedy with an explicit email apparently weaponized by an estranged wife. Mikey and the crew argued seriously about the fraudulent Andrew Wakefield study, lingering vaccine fears, and the difficulty parents face when evidence and anxiety collide. Mikey then shared a breakthrough conversation with his autistic son Jake, only to receive a vicious listener complaint that tested his Be Different pledge. Ryan's severe cigarette-littering penalty produced a long argument over personal responsibility and proportional punishment, and a motorcyclist's story ultimately persuaded Woods to stop throwing butts from his car. Lighter bits included the Argentine dance-show controversy, Lindsay's Snooki jingle, bizarre television addictions, and the revelation that Woods compulsively eats paper and plastic.
What happened, in order
Golden Voice comeback
The hosts celebrated formerly homeless announcer Ted Williams landing voiceover work, housing, and a flood of offers after his remarkable voice went viral.
Argentina's shocking dance show
Sienna shared an Argentine television dance clip that sparked a debate over sexualized prime-time entertainment, cultural norms, and what children should be able to watch.
Todd's disastrous forwarded email
Todd received explicit Craigslist messages from an estranged high-school friend, and the crew concluded that the man's angry wife had exposed his attempted hookups to unfamiliar contacts in his address book.
Snooki wrote a book
The crew performed mock-serious excerpts from Snooki's novel and became obsessed with listener Lindsay's deliberately awkward homemade jingle promoting it.
Vaccine fear after Wakefield
Mikey, Jay, Sienna, Woods, and callers wrestled with parental fear after discussing evidence that Andrew Wakefield falsified his MMR-autism study and accepted money from lawyers.
A breakthrough with Jake
Mikey tearfully described an unusually sustained conversation in which his autistic son Jake answered why he loved automatic toilets and why he loved his father.
Be Different under pressure
After a listener attacked Mikey's personal stories and demanded more music, he and Jay used the show's Be Different pact to resist answering cruelty with cruelty.
The $1,500 cigarette butt
Ryan revealed that flicking a cigarette butt and retaining an out-of-state license brought a $1,500 penalty and community service, prompting a fierce argument about littering, fire risk, and proportionate punishment.
My Strange Addiction
Lauren and Sienna recapped people addicted to extreme tanning, sleeping beside a running blow dryer, eating toilet paper, consuming cleaner, and speaking through a ventriloquist dummy.
Woods eats everything
A discussion of compulsive eating turned into a studio revelation that Woods chews and sometimes swallows paper, Styrofoam, pen parts, wrappers, and even pieces of a plastic bat.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsSiennaToddJayLaurenTed WilliamsJakeRebeccaAndrew WakefieldJenny McCarthyLindsayRyanSnooki
31,349 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It is, what is it? Today's Thursday, right? Wow. Oh my gosh. Crazy. I have something funny to tell you guys right off the bat. Welcome to the program. 6.02 on the Mikey Show. And let me give you some business right away so that you know what word of the day is. We'll get into all that. L.O.B.'s battling through some kind of sniffles. I know. It's so annoying. You got big time. Like congestion and stuff. Yeah. A little cold. It keeps spreading to different parts. Yeah. And you got, she was asking this morning, you know, what's the difference between Mucinex and Dayquil, which I'm the right guy to ask that stuff. I know the answers to all that. Mucinex is the stuff that gets rid of the boogers in your chest. Mucinex. Mucinex. That's how our boss would say it. Garrett. Garrett. And then the cold medicine, what that does is it will get rid of your symptoms. So the Mucinex actually has a purpose, and that's to get rid of boogers in your chest when you got that cough. Yes. Whereas DayQuil...
If you have symptoms like runny nose and all that stuff, it actually makes those symptoms feel like they don't exist. Really? Yeah. So I take them both. Me too. But L.O.B. was afraid she would explode or something. I thought I would die. If she did it. I don't like to combine medicine. She said. People die that way. That's fine. They do. That's fine. People do. I said I don't mix. Do they do? Do they? People die from, like, you know. Heroin and cocaine mixed together. Yeah, but if you were to mix too many, you know, strong medicines, you know, even over the counter, if you were to take a bunch of them. Yeah. It'd have to be a lot, I would assume. It would be the right mix of things. You just never know. Yeah. I mean, I guess doctors know. L.O.B., when she goes to any doctor and they give her a prescription, she has a stack of prescriptions in her home because she will not fill them. I do. I have a filing, like an accordion folder. For some reason, it's like, okay, electric goes in here, this, that, everything, all my paperwork. Yeah. And there's a little section for prescriptions. I've got a bunch of slips in there. Why even go? Why go? I know. I'm not dying.
Okay, now that's good. That's interesting. That's interesting. So you'll go to the doctor just because you want information. Yeah. You want to know. Yeah. You want to know, well, what's the deal? If it's something like strep throat or something where I know I can't mess around, but most of the time it's like, okay, I can work through that. No, you know that those slips expire, right? Yeah, I'm not going to use them. She'll never use them. But why save them? Just in case. Oh, okay. Just in case you won't be able to use them. Yeah, well, I thought about, okay, well, if I don't knock it out with water and stuff like that, so I could probably clear them out. Yeah, I do not save stuff. No. And I am not afraid. I take. They give, I take. Yes. They give me a prescription, I take it to the pharmacy. I trust them. See, I just think there's a little bit of... In cahoots sometimes with the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies. There's no question. But that doesn't mean that medicine doesn't work. And that also doesn't mean that I don't need it. Well, there's a tendency to sometimes over-medicate. That's for sure. You can get some kickbacks. I agree. I love it. I love it. She's right. I love it. There's no doubt about it. She's right. But if I had to go to the doctor, there's a reason. Yes.
I love it. She is an enigma. I mean, I look at L.O.B. There's no doubt. I look at her and it's like looking through a kaleidoscope. Yes. I'm like, she's a prism. Yeah. Every time you look, you get something a little different. She's a kaleidoscope. I did. I told Mike that the first time I met him. Every day I'm like, we've been working together for a year. We hang out like off the air. I thought I knew you. I love it because, you know, I love it because. I am fascinated by humans. Yes. That's the reason that I can watch these TV shows. I love these documentary TV shows on TLC and stuff like that. In fact, we're going to be talking about one in a little bit that LOB saw. So we'll tell you all about it. I saw. The Sienna saw. The Sienna saw. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 and, you know, what can I tell you? I'm of Hispanic origin. You are. Let's hear it from me. Toot your own horn. Yeah. I don't know why you would applaud being Mexican, but there it is. Oh, here we go. All right.
That should be our open every day. That's right. It is your show, man. That's true. Woods is our sports guy. He's 35, and he's doing something with his facial hair that I guess only he understands. That's all right. He's allowed. I hate it. Certainly his right. I hate it. It's a full mustache, scruffy beard, but yet he trims the beard underneath. What's that called? A lot of guys do that. Is that called something? Go downtown your neck and have a wrap. gnaw that thing off your face. Fair enough. I didn't trim the neck last night, so it's just, I look like I'm... That's something the cat dragged in. Why even bother trimming the neck is what I want to know. A lot of guys do it because it itches like mad. I do too, but I do it below the chin line. I really love the Backstreet Boy pencil thin beard, which is what I'm working toward. It is looking like that. Is it really? Yes. When you have that many chins, you really have to shave it so it doesn't itch. I'm being honest. I'm confused by it.
Trying to create like a chin line. I hate all of you. No, no, no, no, no. I meant that, you know. Jay just said when you have that many chins, you have to shave it. I didn't say a word. But I would think. I hate all of you. What about me? I hate all of you. You're all guilty by association. The chin line makes it look like your double chin is worse. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Why? Because he's fat. Watch how clean shaven I am tomorrow. Sienna, Mikey, she can get me. Why? She gets me. She told me, I don't like that hat. I don't wear the hat anymore. Sienna, you're Woods' kryptonite and LOB is my kryptonite. Yes, that's exactly right. Woods, I don't like those shorts. Okay, I'll get new shorts. I got a whole new wardrobe because of her. I'm sorry. I love you. I love you too. I want you to look great and feel confident. Oh, man.
This is why the other day when Woods goes, oh, yeah, I don't care if people say, if my wife says to me, blah, blah, blah, it's dynamics. You don't care if your wife does, but if Sienna does, it'll kill you. It kills me. It kills you. Let's see. L.O.B. Lauren is our assistant producer, and she's a little sniffly. I am. She'll get all fixed up soon. She just took a Mucinex. Mucinex. Mucinex. Sienna's our news girl. All cozy over there with a black scarf around her neck. All cuddled up. And she's 25. New mom. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And he's in the next room. And our phone screener today is Chris. It's Chris. Chris. Double one. Did you give me a one, Sienna? No? Oh. It's on the printer. I'll write one on it. No, no, no. Wait, no, I think I did give you a one, though. You did? I remember writing. I wrote it. One is the first schedule of the day. Sorry, I didn't put it right in front of you. Okay. And it's got a one on it. Now you've got two ones. Oh, my gosh. Uh-oh. All right. Rise above. Here we go. Rise above. A couple of things. A one is his show schedule. Right. Yeah, it's a piece of paper that has one written on it and tells me what to do. I have to have Sienna every single break.
She gives me a new sheet of paper that says, this is what you do this time. Yes. This is what you do this time. Yeah. I have to have it in front of me every single time or I literally wouldn't know what to do. In his own defense, we do a lot. Oh, sure. You have to thank people and there's a lot of stuff and you forget if you don't have that sheet. Yeah. Anyone would. That's a nice way to put it. Yeah. And very sweet because let me tell you, I'm lost without it. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of deals. We got a guy coming on the program today on the show at 9 that works here. What do you have to do to get a $1,500 fine and 16 hours of community service? He's going to come on and tell you at 9 o'clock what he did. And there's going to be some people that go, wow, that is so messed up. And there might. Beat other people that go, wow, you got what's coming to you. It's got to be bad. Whatever it is, it's got to be terrible. Yeah, it does. It's got to be. For a $1,500 fine and 16 hours of community service, whatever it is, must have been heavy. I had a DUI once, and I had 20 hours of community service. So it's got to be bad.
For him to have 16 hours. Sure. Absolutely. It has to be bad. It's a heavy fine and a pretty heavy community service. It's a very heavy fine as well. I wonder if Woods is trying to paint that in any particular way. What's that? I think you're painting it. I'm not. Do you know what it is already? No. Because you're saying that in a way that's making me think. No. He must have murdered someone. He must have. For a $1,500 fine and 16 hours of community service, it's got to be something pretty gnarly, wouldn't you think? Or are you using reverse psychology? I don't know what you're talking about. Where you're saying that, and it turns out that what he really did was jaywalk. Well, maybe we'll see. He's up to something. He's up to something. By he, you mean you. Yes. And then at 730. At 7.30, Eskimo Blue Waters is coming in the studio. Eskimo Blue Waters, by the way, who now has a blog on SanDiego.com? Yeah, that's where I saw it. Is it SanDiego.com? Yeah, it's on SanDiego.com. SanDiego.com. I don't know how she got it, but I saw it on there. Did you guys see it? Oh, yeah, we saw it. Yeah, she's doing a blog on there. One of the funniest blogs I've ever read because I was listening. We know EBW here very well.
It's hysterical. And I was reading it going, she's delusional. It's hysterical. She's definitely delusional. Word of the day is gel when you hear it. Be caller number nine for a four-packet ticket to San Diego Safari Park and a drawing for two to stay in Laughlin, Nevada along with a $50 gift card. Laughlin, Nevada. It's like you own the place. I do too. There we go. Thank you very much. So many things are happening in the news today. First of all, everybody knows the story of the homeless guy by now. And you can call us 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. And by the way, yesterday, old listener Philly's Finest called us. Philly's Finest called us yesterday. And I really liked it because it's maybe breaking the seal.
You know, sort of where old listeners feel like they can call in. Good. I hope they do. Yeah, I put on our fan page. I was like, hey, you can listen to both shows or multiple shows. It's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to dislike you. We love you. Yeah. So anyway, this homeless guy now in Cleveland, he's got this beautiful radio voice. And now coming up, we're going to be talking to you. He's got a voice like that. Wow. That's pretty good, Mike. That was real good. Yeah. He was discovered by a guy that drove by his exit ramp every day and saw him, posted it on YouTube, and now the guy has been hired and is no longer homeless. He's been given a home, and he's going to be the new announcer for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Yes, sir. I watched a special on it last night, and he's going to be doing voiceover work for the Cavs. Oh, my gosh. There's even more stuff. I don't think he's going to be the floor announcer. What they said in this report was he's going to be doing voiceover work for the Cavs. So I would assume TV, radio, doing all the voiceover work for them, which is still dynamite. And I was watching live. He was in a radio studio, and there was cameras. Well, that's not a full-time gig, is it? Well, whatever it is, he's gotten several offers. It says a full-time voiceover job and a house with the NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers.
Oh, wow. Full time. 71-year-old Ted Williams. So I watched as the lady from this first home mortgage called in and said, we would like to offer you pay the mortgage on a new home. The tears, everything. I was like, kid teared up real good. It was really incredible. And his mother is 92 years old, is still alive, and they are working to reunite, and they haven't seen each other in a very long time. And I was watching him talk about it, and he got... Very emotional, and it was just, wow. It was so crazy. I wonder if she saw the story on the evening news or something like that. I don't know. I don't know, but here is exactly what Woods is talking about. Let's listen. You mentioned your mom and that you're headed here to New York. Your mom is 92, and this hasn't quite sucked in for her. You haven't seen her in a while. I imagine for her this is really a dream come true, too. Was she worried that maybe you wouldn't be able to pull out of that low place where you had been? You know, one of my biggest prayers that I sent out was that she would live long enough for me to see me, you know, rebound or whatever. And I guess God kept her around and he kept my pipes around, you know, to maybe just have one more shot that I would be able to say, Mom, I did do it before. You know, I might pass away before her or whatever, but my dad didn't get a chance to see this.
But God is good, and the only difference between now and the time that I did have some kind of a heyday or a successful life is that now I'm more appreciative of life. I'm not taking it for granted, and I am thanking the Lord. Oh, that's cool. So rad. That's cool. Do you want to hear some of the other offers he's gotten? Yeah. So he said the Cleveland Cavaliers with the NBA. The NFL, now no official offer has been made yet, but an NFL director. My boss said to me, if you don't get him hired, you're fired. I can't make any guarantees, but I'd love to get him some work. So that's with the NFL. The Ohio Credit Union League offered him $10,000 to do voiceover work for them. Someone claiming to be from MTV did call this Ohio radio station to say that they want... williams to work for them for mtv and i mean there's just more and more espn has made offers a radio station in pennsylvania has made offers oh wow yeah that's great so great for a while i hope it works out for him i hope you know we don't hear down the road that something went wrong i just i read it's one of those stories that you want to get behind oh yeah you know yeah that would
It's like a Cinderella story. That's exactly right. It would bum me out if it turns out he did something. Let's send him positive vibes. Positive vibes only. Yeah, please don't mess this up, dude. Come on, pal. You guys don't think like that. But, you know, in the media and stuff, we always hear. That's not wrong, is it? It's not wrong because it happens. I don't want to focus on that. I want to be like, look how happy he is. I am. He's crying. He's so happy. I know. I'm very happy for him. I just don't want him to screw it up. I don't either. And I hope he does. Good. Now, of course they're already coming out and saying, well, here's what he did in his past. The rap sheet. I just hope he's changed. Do you have the rap sheet? I don't. It wasn't good. It's not good. You don't become homeless because everything's great. He admits to have fallen. being at the lowest he could possibly be and he's hoping, he feels like he's been given a second chance. It's just really sad that yesterday all that stuff came out and it's a website that does this all the time and it's their bit to expose things and I looked at it and there's some felonies on there for like burglary and stuff like that.
You know, desperate times, desperate measures, I guess, for him. If you haven't seen what he looks like, though, I mean, it's all over the Internet. The before and after is unbelievable. Like how he looked when he was homeless. And now he's cleaned up, ready to go, looking sharp. To me, he looked like Barack Obama. I thought the same thing. He did. He looked like Barack Obama. In the cleanup, he looked a lot like Obama. Yeah. I think that's great. I just think it's amazing to go from living on the street to... He has a house. Not even just like, here's a place to go clean up. There's going to be a house where he can call it his own. It's a place to hang his hat. It's got to be surreal. So anyway, that's going on. And the other big news today is that Starbucks has changed their logo. I'm really hoping this doesn't spin you out, Mike. It spins me out. It is part of your routine every morning. It is. Now, this is the deal. I can explain my weird... quirks. I only get spun out if it's something that will physically affect me. So in other words, if they change their coffee, it would bother me. If they change their logo, that doesn't... The time they open the stores? Yeah, that would physically affect me. That would really spin you out. That would physically affect me, so it would really spin me out. Like maybe your first day on FM 94.9.
Yes. They opened late the very first day. I still think this coffee cup is going to creep him out a little bit. I really do. I saw it today. It is. It kind of creeped me out. Let's see. So Starbucks, they're changing their logo. Now, we all know the Starbucks logo. It has like that woman. The mermaid. She looks like a mermaid. Green mermaid. Right. And it says Starbucks coffee around the mermaid. Yes. Well, they are getting rid of the words Starbucks coffee. So now it's just an image of the mermaid. The reason they're doing this is they sell other things other than just coffee, and they want that known. But also they just celebrated their 40th anniversary, and they're changing the logo. Yeah, Woods just started doing advertisements for them. Yeah, for the new Artisan Breakfast Sandwich. Delicious. So they wanted to do something to celebrate the milestone. Now I'm going to show you the logo, Mike. It's a little weird. You're going to spit out. It's a little weird. Oh, gosh. And people are freaking out everywhere. Let me see. All right, there you go. Oh, gosh. It's weird. You see it, and you've seen that mermaid a million times, but it doesn't look like a Starbucks cup. She's got that little shell around her, though, and you look at it and you go, that's Starbucks coffee. If they change all their branding, that's going to cost so much money. They change all the signs. There's so many stores. Well, they're doing it. I think they have some dough to spare.
And you know what? I don't think it will cost them. You know why? Because they're just removing something. But all the signs? Oh yeah, they have to get new signs. They have to get new signs. And make all new cups. Yeah, they can't get old signs. That logo. is on the sign. It says Starbucks coffee. With the logo. Outside of everything. Would they redo all that though? I don't know. If their goal is that they're not just coffee, they've got to get rid of signs that say Starbucks coffee. They do not want that out there. It's got to be ubiquitous throughout. They've got to have a sign company come out. That's a ton of money. That's a lot of money. It will be. Yeah, so people, you know, big-time Starbucks lovers are not happy about this because they feel like they're not drinking Starbucks. It's too different for them. Oh, boy. I don't feel that at all. This is going to start happening in March is when the logo is going to be coming out. Now, in March, when you are first holding that cup, Mike, I promise you.
You're going to be spun out. Well, the thing is. I'm going to be spun out. I will too. But Starbucks issues like holiday cups. You're not always holding the same cup. But the logo is always the same even on holiday cups. But still. See, I feel like I'm going to be holding the new cool thing. You know, that is kind of true because that's how your brain works also. Yeah. I think I'm going to be holding the new cool thing. Pass her on over here. See her. Let's see. M1 Sooners fan from San Diego's on the line. What's up? Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good to hear you all again. Thank you, bro. Man, Mike, I had to tell you, I just got out, and I'm not real proud to put this out there, but I got out of rehab, and you were thought of often. And, you know, your message and the things that you've overcome are an inspiration to a lot of us, and I wanted to call and say. Right on, dude. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. No problem, man. And keep going. Hey, dude. Yeah. Keep going back. It works if you work it. Absolutely. All right, bro. Later. M1 Hawk is on the line. This is Woodsy's dad, M1 Hawk. Hi, Dad. Good. I can barely hear you. Well, I had to call because the Ted Williams story kind of was a little Stephen Wood story. That's right. I wanted to thank Rob for being the newspaper person that brought Stephen his new life. Ted Williams is the homeless guy we were just talking about. Ted Williams, yeah, he's the guy with the golden voice. I was not quite homeless.
No. Ragged edge. No. They threatened it many times. Yeah, they did threaten it many times. And the homeless guy didn't have as many arrests, but I'll tell you, there are some similarities. There are some similarities. I appreciate that. That's great. It's only been a year, but I can imagine what his mother's thinking been away from him. So on, Stephen and Jamie. Well, he's doing great. Woods is a great success story and very proud of him. He's just as much of a success story and is keeping his nose clean, too. Absolutely. Are you excited to be a grandpa? I am. Absolutely. I can't tell you. And the best part is it's a boy, so I'll leave. Aww. No wedding payments. Maybe he moved to San Diego. Yeah. I know. It's time. Hey, he'll be here in a couple weeks. He's going to come in and hang out with us. Absolutely. There you go. All right, Hawk. We love you. All right, Dad. Love you, Dad. All right. Bye. We'll see you. Let's see. And then the other thing is that the Jersey Shore is on tonight, the new season, right? Yes. It is season three. It premieres tonight. Now they're back at Seaside Heights.
Is that, Lauren, where they were the first season? Yeah. Sleeside Heights, as we call it in New Jersey. Why do they call it that? Because it's Sleesy. Sleeside Heights. That's where they were for the first season. Then they went to Miami. Now they're back there. So it's going to be, people are excited that they're going back. Of course. Now, Angelina, who was on last season, she's not going to be on this season. Dina, who's one of Snooki's pals, is going to be on now. So there's a new girl. Oh, man. Don't know a thing about it. I don't either. That's Snooki Broad. I'll tell you what, man. She's a character. You are a smelly pirate hooker. Absolutely. Absolutely. I just don't get it. I don't get it. She's cute. She is the antithesis of cute. If she didn't act the way that she did, she'd be a little cute little troll. I think people just like her because she's just so honest, good and bad, even about herself. Throws it all out there. People like it. She says ridiculous things. Yeah. She smushes a lot. I haven't watched the Jersey Shore ever. I've never seen one episode of it. And I'm very familiar with all of the names. Snooki. The Situation. The Situation. Pauly D. Yep. Pauly D. I know all these. JWoww. Maybe I tell you which ones I know. I don't know all of them all. Just throw it out there. Now, here's the thing about.
Say who? Vinny, Ronnie. I don't know that. Mickey, Bobby. I'm trying to tell you who I know and who I don't know. Tonight it premieres. It couldn't keep me further away from it. You couldn't pay me enough money to watch it. I wouldn't watch it for all the gold in Sienna's Couch. Tea in China. All the tea in China. But I do know this. It's very popular and it's on tonight. What are you doing, Woods? Nothing. Nothing at all. You just opened your computer. Yeah, I was going to do something. I changed my mind. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. All right. Well, here's what we're going to do. Well, I'll be watching, and I'll report back to all you guys. Yes. You love it. Thank you. Of course, I'll have to wait a couple days until it's on MTV.com. Oh, it's just MTV. Then I will let you know. Oh, that's right. Cable. So we got more audio from the Golden Voice guy because, like Woodsy was saying, he was on the CBS Morning Show. He's going to be on the Today Show today, and we'll catch that live and bring it to you live as it's happening. But we have audio of him telling a story, basically what happened with him. And you'll even get to hear him do a little Golden Voice promo for CBS while you saw him do that. And, oh, you know what else we have? We have audio of a promo that he cut back in 2008 for a New Year's Eve concert. Wow. I want to hear that. Yeah, for sure. I want to hear what that sounds like.
So we'll do that coming up. There is something that most of you are listening that you've never seen. And I would say that .0000001% of you have actually seen it. But I've seen it, and I wish you could. In fact, what we should do is videotape it and put it on MikeyShow.com. And what that is, is Woods doing air hair. Now, you've heard of air guitar, okay? Woods. Gets you every time. Gets me every time. When Woods, oh yeah, yes, yes, yes. He plays with his invisible long hair. It's not just long hair. It's 80s hair. It's 80s hairband. He's teasing it and pushing it out of the way. Woods stands in front of the mirror and he does his 80s air hair. His long 80s hair.
It's phenomenal. I like that. Air hair. Air hair. Sienna, what's going on in news? Looks like more Marines are headed over to Afghanistan. It was just announced that 1,400 more Marines are going to be going over there. Beginning at the middle of this month, they're going to be going back. Currently, there's about 100,000 American troops there. And Obama still says that progress is being made enough to meet his pledge to start withdrawing the U.S. troops by July. That's different than 90 days, which is what he said while he was campaigning. Listen, I will say this about what he's doing. What he's doing is actually the right move. It's actually the right thing to do, and so I'm behind our president, and I think it's the right thing to do. And another big story right now is we know that Elizabeth Edwards passed away December 7th after her battle with cancer, breast cancer. She was 61 years old. Now, her will has just been released, People are a little bit surprised that she's not leaving anything to her estranged husband, John Edwards. In fact, everything is going to her three kids. She probably had him removed when he cheated. Yeah. I would, too. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the Houston Texans, I told you yesterday, have retained their head coach, Gary Kubiak, for a sixth season.
And they also made a move that I, frankly, was a little bit surprised by. They hired ex-Cowboys coach Wade Phillips as their new defensive coordinator. Wade has been in the league a very long time. Actually, a pretty good coordinator. Great coordinator. Maybe one of those guys that's just not meant to have the reins. And then also, real quick, I wanted to get your guys' take on this. I'm going to... I think we should do this. I think we should do it tomorrow. I'm going to do a football pool for the weekend, and I'm going to give you the game. You guys in? Ten bucks, Jay? Yeah. Sure. That a boy. He freaking won the NCAA one. He didn't know anything. Yeah, Jay. I'm in then. Yeah, I forgot about that. Jay seems to win everything. Oh, I know. He's a winner. Ridiculous. Well, so the games this weekend, it's the wild card round. It's the Jets against the Colts. It's the Baltimore Ravens against the Kansas City Chiefs. It's the... Eagles against Green Bay. And it's the Seattle Seahawks against New Orleans. We'll pick. We'll make our picks. Ella B., will you do the honors again? Sure, absolutely. She's really good at it. I can't do it. And so, yeah, we'll let you know who the big winner is. Yeah, if you print them out, I will scorekeep. You got it. Later on, too, we're going to be talking about big news that happened in the world of autism. There was big news with it yesterday.
Obviously, it was a big deal to me and our family because our oldest son, Jake, has autism. And something happened yesterday that was pretty significant. And so we'll tell you about that a little bit. Eight o'clock. At eight o'clock this morning. And I'll talk about my personal deal with it. And we'll tell you all about what we think of it. This guy, the Golden Voice Radio homeless guy, his name is Ted Williams. Like the Parkway here. Right. And the Parkway is like the baseball player. Right. And so it's very... You're not a Ted Williams guy, are you? Never won the big one. Okay. Ted Williams, the homeless guy, though, was talking about... It's like winning the lottery. God has been so good. And in the year 2010 on this date book that somebody gave me, I was going to write on there, well, another year wasted. But it was the year that I found God in my life. I mean, really a God of my understanding. And so it wasn't a wasted year. And I had no idea that something like this would have ever happened to me. It's like almost winning the mega ball lottery or something. This is just phenomenal.
It's insane. Awesome. Really, really a crazy story. In fact, it's one of those deals where we were saying this the other day. If somebody had said, I got an idea for a movie, I'd say, it's too phony. Nobody's going to buy it. Buy that. I wish he would change his name to Joe DiMaggio. I'd like him a lot more. I bet they'll make a movie about him now. I bet they will. Let's see. Here's him talking about what he wants for the future. What would you now like to do? How are you going to put this voice to use? Well, I would like to just have a job and a home, an apartment or anything, you know, to be able to cook in. I'd like to, you know, just get my life in a responsible area of a 53-year-old man, a tax-paying citizen, and try to put some of my... Of a 53-year-old man. I read that he was 71. He probably is. I did too. I think he was saying that's the type of person I want to be. Yeah. Does that make sense? It's a random number. Really weird. How about a man in his 50s? Yeah. 53 and a quarter. Yeah. I don't get that. I don't either. But I think that's what he means. Maybe that was the last time that he was healthy and had his life in order. Could be. Well, I'm not going to forget where I came from, but I just want to put some of that on the back burner and continue with my life, whatever is left to live. It's incredible. It's incredible. Everybody's seen his face by now, right? Yeah. If you're on Facebook, you have. Yep.
Everybody's putting that link up. If you have a computer, you've seen it. Let's see. Here's one more clip. Let me just ask you right off the bat. What's it like to go from being homeless and on the side of the road with a sign in your hand to now overnight you are this sensation and people can't get enough of you right now? Oh, my God. It's just sensational for one. It's numbing for another, overwhelming. I mean, there's so many words that I just, oh, God, it's just. Amazing. I feel like, well, I've already been characterized as the Susan Boyle. You know, I'm just so happy. There you go. He's great, man. He's awesome. He's great. We have a new game that we're going to be playing here in just a second. So if you want to play it and you know about the year 1987. If you feel like you might have some knowledge about the year 1987, give us a call and we will talk to you. And we'll do a new game that we're going to play called Play It By Year. And then just after 7, I don't even know what this story is. I purposefully told Sienna, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I don't know either. Something about her husband, Todd. Something happened to him.
Lauren knows and Sienna knows. Jay knows. Jay knows. My husband sent me a text yesterday saying, you are not going to believe what has just happened to me. And I called him and Woods and Mike had left the room and Lauren and Jay were there and I was freaking out. So I told them. And even our general manager, Rick R. Jackson came in. I told it to him and he's like, you've got to tell that on the air. So my husband will be calling in and sharing a very. Crazy story. I've been thinking about this for almost 24 hours. Like, what the hell happened to him? I can't wait. So we're going to find out in a little bit. Yesterday, Sienna has a friend that lives in Argentina and sent her this video clip. And all of our jaws dropped open. I almost had a heart attack. I know. So my friend Juliet moved to Argentina a couple years ago. She fell in love. She lives there. And she watches. All the TV shows that we watch, they have the equivalent of Dancing with the Stars over there, just like most countries have the equivalent of American Idol, all of that. So I was on the phone with her, and she said, you are not going to believe what I'm watching. She tells me, and she's like, I'm going to send you the video clip, and this is the Dancing with the Stars show. But it's Argentine. Argentine. Argentine. Argentine. Argentine. Argentine. Whatever. It's Argentine, I think.
It's Argentina. Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. So she sends me this video clip and is basically like, it's like a porn. Kind of is. It is. It is. It is. Pretty much. It's insane. It's a little better. And she says, Sienna, like, families are sitting at home watching this and it's no big deal. You know, here I am, an American that's moved here and I'm losing my mind. Let me get you guys to thinking about. Just how different it is here? Yes. Oh, my gosh. Now, I used to always think, and Woods even said this yesterday, and this used to be my thinking. My thinking used to be, oh, we're so uptight. They're not uptight in Europe. I don't think that anymore. I don't think that anymore. I think that they are used to it. They're definitely used to it. We're not used to it. What do you mean like the naked body? Nakedness. And it's not necessarily that I... Wow. Well, here's the deal. It isn't necessarily that... Jay's making really inappropriate noises. Yeah, yeah. It isn't necessarily that I think that showing naked boobies is crazy. That makes my mouth water. Mine too. Just so people know, Jay's the one that controls his nose.
And I can't even turn his studio off. If you wanted to. But here's the thing. It was what they were doing was pretty crazy. Oh, dude. They weren't. They weren't. They were flat out like simulating doing it. There was simulation of all everything. Everything you can do. In fact, I even said like I said it facetiously. I go. Is he just going to start doing oral? He did. He did. He did. On national television. Yeah, I watched it two or three times just to make sure I didn't get anything like that. Quality. I sent it to Woods and Jay because I knew that they would want it. That we were creeps. I didn't even want to show my husband. I was like, oh my gosh, no. I don't want him looking at this girl on here. And I did show it to him. The girl in there, she's a 30. She's flawless. Her body is... Flawless. Without flaws. I mean, she's stunning. You can't really see her face, though. It's fine. I didn't really have to. Did she have a face? Yeah. But it makes me go, what the heck? That's crazy on TV. Because with kids, yeah, I feel like I wish that there was still TV that I could watch with an eight-year-old.
And for me, as a dude that's 40, and I'm telling you, man, I don't think of myself as nerdy. But it's the same deal with watching TV commercials with your kid and something really scary comes on as a commercial. You're just like, holy cow, man. I don't want to sit here and watch the Disney Channel. I don't want to go to that. But at the same time, I want to be able to watch TV and it's not like people are... You know, boning on TV. Viagra commercials. There's cartoons that we want to let Jasper watch. Really? I mean, yeah, there's Total Drama Island and they're all making it. It's like cartoons, but they're all making out. Total Drama Island. Well, there's something to be said, though, man. And I don't, you know, you said your thinking has changed. I mean, it is true. I think they are desensitized over there in Europe and in other countries, really. Pretty much every other country. I'll never forget when I went to England when I was. 14, a buddy told me, hey, dude, on the third page of the paper, naked girl. Every day. Page three, girl. And I go, come on. First, we were in Heathrow Airport. I was like, I gotta go to the bathroom. I went into the little newsstand at the airport, opened up to page three, was in there, ripped the picture out, put it in my pocket.
To this day, dude. Was it like... My jaw just dropped open. Was she modeling underwear or something? No, just topless. Just topless. I'll still hear stories that you'll tell me that I've never heard before, and I shouldn't be shocked. I'm still shocked. I'm like, you did? Yeah, I did. There's nothing. I walked in there, and I was like... I shoved it in my back. My brother was like 10 at the time. We were like... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's in the newspaper. That makes more sense. I thought you were like 24. No, I was 15. Okay. I was 15. My brother was 10. Oh, my God. Doesn't it make you just think about the Janet Jackson incident, though, and just be like, really? Was that big of a deal? We freaked. The whole country shut down. Lost their minds. Yeah. Yeah, shut down. Yeah. Now, do I think that... There's two schools of thought with the Janet Jackson deal. Two schools of thought. One school of thought is... Is it really that big a deal that she showed her boob? And then there's another school of thought. And by the way, when Janet Jackson showed her boob, I was a full blown alcoholic. You know, I wasn't like and I don't consider myself like uptight, you know, religious guy. I don't. You know, I think of myself as a guy that really loves God and everything, but like pretty normal dude, you know. But back then, man, I was like.
out of control you know i was out of control and i remember thinking to myself even then i was like really man like halftime at at at the super bowl you're whipping your boob out right now uh i really my thoughts haven't changed my thoughts are not any worse or any less i'm just like really with the boob getting whipped out at the halftime super bowl like isn't everybody watching the super bowl including like little kids and you're like Ah, daddy, what's that? Oh, it's Janet Jackson's boob. How come there's this thing on it? Ah, because she pierces it. Well, what's all that about? Oh, well, some ladies like to pierce their nipples. What's that about? She didn't pierce it, did she? It was like she had something on it. I don't know. And see, that's the deal. Like, now I'm having to, you know, I'm having to have a conversation that I'm forced into as opposed to a conversation that I get to have when I feel like it. Now I don't get that option. But in other countries, you see boobs. on commercials all the time. And in America, you don't. Right. And that's the deal. Like, if you went to Europe with your kid, if you moved there to Europe, you'd have some explaining to do, Ricky. Correct. You would have to say to your kids, well, here's the deal. You know, here they show boobies and that's what that is. It's no big deal. Here in America, that's not the case. And so, you know, you got the two different schools of thought. Are you like, well, what are we so uptight about? Or are you like, do you really have to show the tease?
Can you be both? Can I be both? I'm kind of both. I know. I feel both. It's like I kind of wish that we were there to where it was not a big deal. I mean, and the same goes with like alcohol over in Europe. They start drinking at 10 years old and they have wine with dinner and they have a less alcoholism rate, you know, much lower than we do. And I'm like, man, I kind of wish we were there. But then again, it's like I'm going to have a kid. I don't want him drinking wine when he's 10. I just don't know how to feel. Well, I'm not against drinking. My deal is I'm against getting drunk and becoming an alcoholic. I'm against that. Am I against boobies? No, I'm not against boobies. I like to be against them. I'm not against boobies. I'm just against the people doing the sex acts on stage, which sounds dorky, sex acts on stage. I put it on my Facebook so you can see it. Oh, wow, Jay. Well. Jay wasn't in here this morning. I put it on my Facebook. I know. Yeah. Well, listen, man. I mean, it's one of those deals where it is what it is. You're either going to think that it's too far or you're going to think that it ain't far enough, you know? And it's up to you. I mean, hey, listen. As a man, as a 35-year-old man, I looked at it and went, wow. Yeah. Wow. The email I sent to Wood said,
Maybe if we were in Argentina, I guarantee you'd watch Dancing with the Stars. Religiously. I'd be having friends over to watch it. Parties. Hey, let's do play it by year. I want to play play it by year. Now, the year's 1987. If you know anything about 1987, this is going to work for you. So you got to know about 1987 like I do. And the goal here is all you got to do is get two out of three questions. You just got to get two out of three. If you can get two out of three. You're golden. I need three people to play. 570-1949. And you've got to get two out of three. What? You need one person to play. You can just have one. Oh. You do? Yeah. All right. One person to play. Or you could have three and the first person to ring in, but... Yeah. They could use their name as a buzzer, but I would just go with one. They've got to get two out of three right to win. Okay. There you go. 570-1949. And we'll do this up. What's the prize, Jay? I had my mic turned off. We're going to give them a pair of takes to go see Social Distortions. Okay, cool. 570-1949 is the number. And let's see, we got... What's your name? Turn your radio down, Pete. What's up? Okay, you ready to do this? I'm ready. Okay. You got to get two out of three, okay? Sounds good. October 19th, 1987 is known to some...
I'm going to go with the stock market crash. You are correct. Wow, he's got one. I remember that. I remember that very well. All right, you got one. Here's the next one. You ready? Yep. The Cosby Show was the number one show in 1987. Were the Cosbys supposed to live in A, Philadelphia, B, Chicago, or C, Brooklyn? In Brooklyn, son. Yes, sir. He did it. Correct. Well done. He was confident on that one. You won, bro. You got two out of three. Very well done. Hang on the line, okay? The guy knows his 87. I know it. Hey, I'm going to give you the last one just for fun since you did so well, okay?
The best-selling book of 1987 was Stephen King's The Tommyknockers. Which of the following is not a book written by Stephen King? A, Misery, B, Pet Sematary, or C, The Face. Do you know? Well done. King of 87. You got three out of three. Hang on the line, bro. So check this out. We talked about Snooki earlier because tonight's the new season of Jersey Shore. Well, Snooki's got a new book. And it's pretty funny whenever you take something kind of lame and you read it as serious work. And so we got that. Plus, we have an M1 named M1 Lindsay. And she has written and performed a song and sent it to us. And it's about Snooki's book. Nice. But listen, it is interesting work.
That she's done, and so we will play that for you coming up next. Today is Thursday, and it's also a day that I have to go back to the gym, which is... Yeah. I'll be going back today myself. Get a little tan in real good. Are you? You can do it at both places at Choose Fitness. Yeah, I can knock them both out at Choose Fitness, and then I'm going to go hit the cages. It's a sport day for the kid. Look at you. Softball game tonight. Gosh, look at me. Did your... Did your little doggies go to the bathroom in the house yesterday? Yes. We met for a long time. It was fun. I had fun. I left here laughing and sniggling. And then I got home and walked into the seventh ring of hell. So did I when I got home. Of pee and poop in my house. And I was like, ah! My wife made a delicious meal last night, but she used Asiago cheese. And this is a true story. It was delicious. It was absolutely delicious. She walked upstairs. She walked in the bedroom.
And I said, honey, is there poop in this room? And I meant it. I even said to Jake, Jake was sitting next to me, right? And I have my arm around it. And I go, Bubz, did you go to the bathroom? And he only wears diapers at nighttime when he sleeps in case he has a pee-pee accident. And he's out of diapers because he goes poop and pee in the toilet. Loves the toilet. Yeah, like a big boy. And so I go, Bubs, did you go to the bathroom? And he said, yeah. And I said, where did you go to the bathroom? And he's wearing underpants. I'm sure he's taking a poo-poo in his underpants. And I go, where did you go? And he goes, in the bathroom. He's a good boy. And I said, oh. I go, did you go poo-poo or pee-pee? And he goes, pee-pee. And I said, okay. He's so sweet.
I know. And I thought, and I was like, there's a turd under one of these pillows. There's a turd hiding under one of these pillows. It's playing hide and seek with its poopoo daddy. Oh my gosh. A poopoo daddy is playing hide and seek with his poopoo son. And his poopoo son is hiding somewhere in this room. And so Rebecca goes, no. She goes, you know what? It's probably the cheese that I used. And it drifted all the way upstairs. It wafted up the stairway. Because she said that Nita walked into the house and went, Oh no. What is it smelling? And Rebecca said, Oh, it's the cheese. And she went, Oh, okay. See you later. She's so sweet, Nita, because I bet that in her mind she's going, What do they eat here? In Hungary, people go to the bathroom in toilet, not in home. Why would you eat cheese that smells like poo? Ew. So gross. That's true, though. 570-1949 is our number. Okay. So in just a minute, we're going to get to the reading of Snooki's new book, Like It's Something Serious. And then we're also going to hear a recording.
promoting the book from an M1 that probably will not win any Grammys. But it's interesting. Okay, so Sienna's husband Todd is on the phone right now. Are you there, Todd? Yeah, hi, guys. How you doing? So something happened yesterday. Yeah, he sent me a text like... right after our show and said, you are not going to believe what has just happened. And so I'm like, oh my gosh, it called him right back. And Lauren and Jay were the only ones in the room. And so they heard the story and my freak out reaction. And I said, you have to tell this on the air. And so here he is. Mike and Woods have not heard it. What happened, Todd? Well, excuse me. I'm sorry. I got a little bit of a cold here, so I might cough. I'm sorry. It's okay. How dare you? So I got this email yesterday from an old... Old high school friend. Now, I've known this guy literally. We went to elementary school together, known him forever, but basically after high school, haven't heard from this guy. You know, other than two years ago, he somehow found my email address to a friend of a friend, kind of sent me a message just saying, hey, I've been trying to find you, and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Yesterday, I get a new email from him, and I open it up, and the subject line says,
Right. I was nervous. His old one-eyed Willie. Oh, no, no. Oh, my God. No. No way. You ever seen a grown man naked? It gets worse. Hold on. It gets worse. Hang on. Hang on. Just in case you're just tuning in, we're talking to Sienna's husband, who has told us so far that he got an email yesterday from a friend that he grew up with but has kind of lost touch with. I've never seen or heard of this guy. You sure have now. I sure have now. But anyway. Todd kind of lost touch with him. And he got a hold of Todd's email somehow. And yesterday Todd receives an email that subject line is New Year. And halfway down the page is a picture of said friend. And a little further down the page is a picture of his doink. His wiener. Okay. He did. Okay. He did? Yeah. Oh, wow. He did. It was a happy. Okay, got it, got it. Happy New Year.
So at this point, I'm, why in the heck am I reading this email? He's at work. He's at work when he got it. Oh, my God. Yeah, why on earth are you baffled? Yeah, he wants to be a close friend. Anyway. So I scroll back up to do some investigating, and I see that it was a forwarded email. And the original message went out on December 31st, which is New Year's Eve, at 9.46 p.m. Oh, boy. Craigslist. Wait, wait, wait. You mean it went out at, wait, it went out at what time? The original message went out on December 31st at 9.46 p.m. to somebody on Craigslist. New Year's Eve. So it was like a singles ad on Craigslist and he was sending that. He was looking for some New Year's Nookie. Yes. And Todd somehow got attached to the email.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It gets worse. It gets worse. Well, okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead, Todd. Go ahead. How did I get this? Why am I getting this today? And why is he sending this? And I look, and this didn't only get forwarded to me. It was also forwarded to two other people besides me. But these two names were clearly female names. And it said at Craigslist. Yeah, and so at first I thought, well, maybe he... He was trying again, you know. He didn't get a taker on New Year's, so maybe he was trying again yesterday. And he accidentally threw my email address on there by accident. Wait, wait, wait. Just to be clear, by the way, though. When he got this thing, did it say in the subject line... I have it. Okay, wait, wait, wait. But I'm going to ask. Okay. Did it say in the subject line, forward New Year? That's exactly what it said. FW. So this guy is emailing you a forward, which is strange because it's himself and his dong and the whole thing. It's his face and his dong. Right. So that's all the women want to see, I guess. Babe, can I read the first email to them or do I need to wait? Yeah, you can read what it says. Okay.
The first email he got, which is the picture of his face and his piece, said, I am 39 and home alone tonight looking for fun. I am 6 feet tall and 235. What's DDF? That's what we couldn't figure out. Words. 235 DDF. DDF. LLB. Is it close on the keyboard? Maybe he meant to write DTF, which is down to. Oh. Yep, that's what it means. Oh. Oh, my God. LLB, you creeper. And that's on the Jersey Shore. Oh, my God. DTF. And then it says, I live in Manhattan. Here are my pics, dot, dot, dot. That's all it said on the first email. My skin's crawling. Excuse me while I whip this out. My skin's crawling. I know! This is Todd's friend from elementary school! My eyes are as big as saucers. We should email him back. We should put a fake email. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta keep hearing this story. Go ahead. So after this email, about a minute later, another email comes, again, from David. This one in the subject line said, my picks. And this time as I'm scrolling down, I'm being a little more careful.
The subject said on the second one, forward, my picks, dot, dot, dot. So I look and I can see that, again, the original message was sent out this time on January 3rd, sometime in the afternoon or whatever. I think I get it. I think I get it. Go ahead. You scroll down. And again, there's more additional pictures of himself and of, you know. Of more of his friend. Of his boy. Can I guess, or is it too early to guess? It's too early to guess. Okay, okay, okay. So, at this point, I realized, because the first one I thought, it was a mistake. He threw my address in and didn't know it. But the second one, there's no way it's a mistake. Sure. So, I reply back immediately, and I said, dude, what the heck are you doing? Right. That's all it said. And so... I think you used some vulgar words, though. Yes. So, I'd say about an hour goes by, and I... finally get a response from him, and he did a reply all. The second email was forwarded to more people this time. I'd say maybe seven or eight. Oh, wow. He's fishing with dynamite now. And they're all women except for Todd. He's the only guy on there. Bi-curious? They do call him Todd the guy. Yeah, that's right. Oh, my gosh. So at this point, I'm really starting to think, now, is this guy...
Is he trying to, you know, check to see, I know I live in California, but I don't go that way, you know. So I'm starting to try to figure this out. And about an hour later, I get an email back and it was a reply all to everybody on the second email. And it said, well, Sienna, go ahead and read it. He's in the car, so he can't read it. Right. It says, I am very sorry you have received the previous email. Again, this is to everyone. As you know, I'm having a lot of issues with my wife, period. While I was working this morning, she went into my house and sent out this and many other emails, period. I guess I should have learned to lock my door when I leave. What she put in that email is not true. It is her attempt to control and ruin my life more than she already has. As to the claim of the pictures, that too is false. The pics of my face are the only pics that are of me. I do not know where she got those. Thank you for understanding and again, I am sorry. I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all. Really? This is what I thought was going on.
Okay, this is what I thought was going on. Wow. I thought his girlfriend, because I didn't know he was married, okay? I thought his girlfriend was snooping through his email and found that he was trying to hook up with girls on Craigslist. And so what she decided to do is forward those to people that he knows and be like, look what he's doing. Look at this dirt bag. But they were like Craigslist. But they were Craigslist. A bunch of them were from Craigslist. The email was like, Joanne at Craigslist. It was like Miss Lady. Miss Lady at Craigslist. Oh, see, that's what I was trying to, okay, okay, okay. There were some women, like, one of them was at MS Fitness at a website. Oh, boy. You know? So why, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's going to take him a minute. Yeah, see. The whole thing is weird. What was forwarded to Todd was, I thought, from him, from the friend.
And it was a foreword from the friend of him writing to these girls from Craigslist, no? That's correct. I think you're right. What I think has happened, I think it's real. I think he really did send those out on the two-year night and on the third. And you're right. I think his wife, I thought he was divorced, at least that's what he told me two years ago, but whatever. that she actually went through his email and saw that and decided to forward it to everybody that was on his address. But why? There's only like eight people on it and they're all women except for Todd. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you what I think he was doing or she was doing. I think that because on my, well, at least on my email, I can't. I can't send to too many people at one time or it thinks that I'm a spammer. But you have to, it'll group like 20 or 30. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Seven doesn't seem like very many unless she was really trying to make sure it got everybody.
I'm not going to say Todd's email address on there, but it has TF in it. And sometimes when you're like with Gmail, I don't know where it came from. If you're trying to type something in, you start doing the first couple letters and it pops up and you just click on it. Yeah. I think it was someone maybe named like Tiffany or something like that. Could be. And it just popped up. That he meant to send it to and Todd's came up. That doesn't make sense though. And the reason that it doesn't make sense is because it's a forward. Todd received a forward. So he has to hit numerous forwards. He received a forward, not a direct email. But what if he was just trying to hit all the girls at once to be like, hey, whoever wants it, here it is. No, no, no, no, no. If you're doing that, if you're doing that, you're still, it's a direct email. But I'm saying maybe he got like seven or eight responses that night and he was like, okay, I'm just going to write back to every girl. Again, the reason that that doesn't make sense is because if it's a forward. It's not going to have the pictures attached. In other words, what I'm saying is that if you're forwarding something, you are forwarding. Why would you forward something from yourself? He could have forwarded the original. When you post a Craigslist thing, it sends you a copy to your email address. So he could have forwarded what came from Craigslist. I think that's what he did.
I don't. I think that his girlfriend went into his email and saw that he was cheating and emailing these girls pictures of himself. And she went, I'm going to send this to everybody in his address book. The only thing that I don't get is why seven at a time. And the only reason I can come up with seven at a time was because she wanted to make double sure that she didn't put too many people on there. Or they wouldn't get it. And here's a question. Are the people that... Can you send me the first one? Yeah. You're going to see a piece. I want to know if I've seen them before. If the person on there... If their names were close to Todd's name. Also, my question is this. In the second email, are the names normal? Or are they Craigslist? They're normal. They're normal. Oh, my God. They're normal. It's the girlfriend. Yeah. Why would she choose a bunch of girls and Todd? I have a scenario. What? You guys want to hear it? Yeah. Okay, so, because like I said, I don't still talk to him. So, say the wife goes through his address book. He'll never again. And doesn't send it to the people that she recognizes the names. And any names she doesn't recognize in his address book.
She put on the two to send it to. Yeah. Just thinking that those are the people that must be his hookups. Because if he doesn't know me, that's my name. Right, and his email, Todd's email doesn't say Todd. It says T-F. Oh, that is 100% what happened. So she probably thought it was TIF or something like that. Yep. Wow. Oh, I bet he is not having a good day. And then Todd responds, dude! Imagine getting an email from one of your boys. That's insane. And that's probably exactly what happened. The names that she didn't recognize, she was like, oh, I bet these are all his little hookups, and let me sabotage all his hookups. Yeah, she said, I know Mike, and I know Jay, and I know Steve. I'm not going to send it to those guys. I'm going to send it to this TF. I don't see a picture of his face. Yeah, there's a picture of his face. Oh, yeah. What a weird thing to say. Mike has a picture of his face. Let me just say this. On your screen, is it... How's it hanging? Let me ask a question. Let me phrase it. Let me phrase it. On your screen, Sienna, is the piece picture and the face picture the same size? Yes! Not on mine. On my... You can't see the face. You can see a giant piece.
You ever just go to work and see pictures of pieces? Okay, babe. Babe, tell them what you did with the emails. And here's the thing. I got to say this. Oh, my gosh. And I don't know anything about the world of hooking Craigslist hookings up. Oh, my God. But I got to say this. Like, if I'm a girl, that is not going to entice me. No. And what I mean by that, I don't... It's not about his size. Hang on. Yeah, that is not what it's about. It's not about size. Yeah. To me, it's about like, what an odd picture of him, you know, like of him, his, you know, his actual, of him. Oh, gosh. You know, it doesn't make him, you know, and I'm not talking about the... dirty picture, I'm talking about just the picture of him, doesn't make him look like, oh, wow. Yeah, he looks like he's scared. Yeah. Yes, he looks like a creep. They look like a creep. They're like, one of them he took of himself, you can tell. That's what throws me off a little bit. And the other one, he's like posed, smiling. I bet he set the timer. Oh, my gosh. He figured out there was a timer on there. My skin is crawling. Babe, what did you do with the emails after you got them? Well, you know.
I mean, of course I thought this was hilarious. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I have other friends that I grew up with that I still talk to. No, you didn't. You're the devil. Bravo. Bravo, Johnny. I do not condone that. He said them to everyone. I do not condone that. Todd, you might have breached the man code just a little, but I'm all for it, my friend. Great work. I know, but those are like his best friends. His men that were at our wedding. He has to send it to them. This is going to be like a viral email. Oh, no. It seems like that. Yeah. It seems like that. Holy cow. Like, hey, look what happened to this idiot. It's incredible to me that this really happens in life. I mean, imagine Todd shows up at work on a Wednesday morning, sits down, just check my email. Oh, look, I haven't seen him or talked to him in a couple years. What's he up to? How about your IT guy? He's like, uh, we just found some questionable pictures on your computer at work. Why do you have a wiener? Yeah.
I'll say this too. I opened it on my personal phone. There you go. Smart. That's good. I'll say this too. Not me. I will say this. You're on a morning show. Is that what you got the other day that you said, oh my gosh, just so people know. No, no, no, not that. We were talking about celebrities. I will say this. There's probably a ton of people that are going, well, listen, if he was doing that, he deserves what he got, blah, blah, blah. And I still feel the same way that I always feel. I feel bad for people that make dumb mistakes. I have. I feel bad for people that do stuff that are... Can't get out of their own way and, you know. The wiener shot just kills it. There's a couple of them. There's a couple of them. Oh, my gosh. Wow. I mean, I'm glad that she knows what she's dealing with, but I can't believe. She already knew what she was dealing with. You know why? Because she was snooping on his computer. Oh, I guess so. If I were to catch Todd? No, if I were to ever catch him.
He wouldn't, but anyone. I would never send those pictures out. That's psychotic. I would be mortified. I wouldn't want anyone to see it. You wouldn't want anybody to know that you would associate with somebody that would do that. Yeah, I would be mortified. That's what's weird to me. It's just really, really vindictive. It's like a woman scorned. I was just going to say, she's probably seeing red and just impulsively said, I will show you. I'll get you. And she did. He showed everybody. She was crazy from the get-go. Oh, Jay. Probably her fault. She probably drove him to it. When this guy realized what happened, he probably went to his emails like, oh my gosh, who did she send it to? And she's like, he's like, Marcy, all right, Karen, okay. He's just probably like, oh man, I hope Todd is cool and doesn't tell anyone else from high school. He probably got all these texts. Too late. It's on the radio. Oh, boy. The thing is, growing up, this guy was a nutcase. So, I mean, this guy was known to do crazy stuff. So, I had to afford it. I know it's too mean. But this guy was known for one crazy thing after another all through high school. Brilliant. Didn't change. Wow. Holy cow. I love it. All right, dude. Hey, thanks, Todd. Bye, babe. Later. See ya. Bye. See ya.
Did you ever expect that that was going to be the story, Mike? If you had given me a piece of paper and a pen and I wrote down one million things, that would not happen. I was a little nervous about it, but when I told our general manager, Rick R. Jackson, he was like, you've got to do that on the air. It's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. All right, when we get back, we'll do the song from M1 Lindsay. We'll do the Snooki deal. We'll do all that coming up. Yeah. Crazy story. Crazy story from Todd and his friend and just, oh my gosh. Made me nauseous. I know. It's one of those things that's like, you just, you can't even imagine it's real and it is. If you're just tuning in. Yeah. If you're just tuning in, it's so crazy.
Todd, Sienna's husband, got this crazy email. And he was like, what is this? It was a forward. And it was a forward from a guy that he, you know. Grew up with. Grew up with, but doesn't really talk to that often. Yeah. And he gets a forwarded message. Sort of like a, you know, when somebody forwards you a joke that they heard. Only this was no joke. It's kind of a joke. It is now. Yeah, it is now. If you saw the picture, it's kind of a joke. Oh, my God. Oh. So what it is is it was a picture of him and it was a picture of his private parts. A close-up of his face and a close-up of... His privates. Mm-hmm. And, you know, this forwarded email is a forwarded email of him writing somebody at Craigslist and saying, hey, it's New Year's Eve. I'm 37? Nine.
39. And he says that I am DDT, which we have found out means drugs and disease free. He says I'm DDF. 235 pounds DDF. Which means drugs and disease free. Oh my gosh. And when Ashley posted that on my Facebook and Woods got it too. Got a text. That that's what it means. And so he wrote. All of these people back and said, hey, just so you know, my my wife came into my apartment. My wife came into my apartment. No. What? Yeah. Where is that one? Forward me that one. OK. We will not be posting these on Facebook for all. He said, I'm very sorry if you've received the email. As you know, I'm having a lot of issues with my wife while I was at work this morning. She went into my house and sent out this and other emails. She went into my house.
They're separated. They're separated. Yeah, and then he said, you know, I guess I should learn to lock my doors when I leave. Oh, yeah. But he lives in Manhattan, and you, almost every building in Manhattan, you have to, I guess maybe she knows the code or the doorman or something. Walked right in. It's probably their old place. Yeah, what she did was she went in, and she went onto his computer and started looking in his sent file. Who's he been writing? And she found that. And then she clicked on forward and she just started sending it to people in his address book. We think. Well, they were all the only other explanation is the one that L.O.B. gave, which I think is kind of a stretch. And that is, oh, well, maybe he gets CC'd on everything he sends. And then he was forwarding it and on mistake typed in. six people's names while he was forwarding an email that he sent to himself, to me that's like so right. Once Todd explained what he thought happened, I think that's much more plausible. Agreed. The wife went through any name she didn't recognize she assumed was someone he was trying to hook up with. She just wanted to make sure she covered all bases. So I'm going to sabotage anyone. Any hopes that you had or any past things. The only thing that I can't
uh figure out really is the whole there was only seven per email you know yeah maybe those are the only names she didn't recognize it's true my yeah yeah my address book in yahoo only has about 25 names in it i'm the guy that still is like yeah i know we've been friends for 15 years what's your email address again i'm that guy because i don't i just never save guys are just like that oh but when you click on someone's email address if they're already a contact, it will say their name next to it. Depending on the email. If you're just clicking, clicking, clicking and you don't care and you're just like, hey, I'm going to get everybody. But what good does that do for her? It makes her feel like I'm getting you. You thought, I mean, if you're going to do that to me. Then I'll get I'll show you. I'm really I want to embarrass you. And I want to make sure that all the girls that are in your little harem know what a creep you are. Right. Because here you are sending out cell donging shots on New Year's Eve because you're lonely and you're looking for some action. So they should know in case they think they're special. They're not. You're a dirt bag just like you were to me.
In his response, once he addresses that this has happened to him, he said, though, yes, the face pictures are of me, but I don't know where she got the pictures of the piece. Yeah, right. Like, those aren't mine. It's like the same lighting, same room. Is there a picture of him posing that you can see his face with his pee-pee? No. Okay. Yeah. Peace and face. I was going to say, because that's pretty damning evidence right there. Yeah. It's not me. She must have superimposed my head on some dude. I have no idea. Yeah, she photoshopped. She photoshopped. I mean, it's just like you never really know someone, man. Todd's like, what? Again, man, I know that there's men and women listening that are like, hey, he got what was coming to him and he got what he deserved. I feel sorry for people that make bad choices, even at their own demise. Well, it sounds like they were separated, which... until he's divorced, he shouldn't be doing stuff, but still. Yeah. That is true. You know, that's...
She's got a point. I mean, if you're separated, you know what I mean? Like they're living separately. She's not living there. She still was like, I want to see what he's up there. But you know what? That's what he said, too, though. They could have been together and she could have been out of town. And he's saying, look, we're separated and she got in my house. He said, as you know, in my apartment. As you know, because that's what he's probably told them that he's separated. What a crazy story. I know we're putting together all these pieces. Oh, boy. Let's just get him on the phone. Oh, wow. Email them, see if I'll come on the air. Explain themselves. So this is a dramatic reading of Snooki's from Jersey Shore. Dramatic reading of her new book. Tony, have you bought Snooki's novel? I didn't know she had one. Yeah, she has a novel. She wrote a novel. It's called A Shore Thing. Wow. And here it is right here.
I'm in the middle of reading it. I thought I would read you some excerpts that I've highlighted that are just wonderful excerpts. Excellent. Gia gulped. She reached for the front fastener and set her girls free. Dramatic reading. Of Snooki's new book. He has the best laugh. Who is that? It's her DJ on her show. Yeah, Ellen's DJ. There's some more prose. Oh, wow. You are such a hoe. Oh, wow. This is a novel. Yeah, it's a novel that Snooki wrote. It's a novel? Yeah. Not a biography, not a tell-all. It's a novel. Yeah. I got to read it. I got to read it. Oh, wow. I got to. I have to. M1 Lindsay sent me this advertisement that she came up with for Snooki's new book. Snooki wrote a book. You might ask what's the hook. She has a poof and little short boots and really knows how to cook. Up a party with Snooki. She writes about it in her book. Read it. Of course it did!
Of course again. Of course again. Snooki wrote a book. My ass was the hook. She has a poof and little short boots and really knows how to cook up a party. She had a fell off her chair. She writes about it in her book. Read it. Yeah. Is that Lindsay DeLonge? What is speechless? I am so done with it. I am not. Oh, my gosh. I am not. I am not done with it. We need to isolate them. I'm not done with it. Jake asked to hear that 40 times. Wow. You're kidding. He was singing it by the time I was. I go, one more time, that's it, bub. Again, again, again. Oh, my God. I like the beginning a lot. It's like spooky. Snooki wrote a book. You might ask what's the hook.
She has a two-fin, little short boots, and little tactical. Upper party with Snooki. She writes about it in her book. Read it. M1, Lindsay, please call. Please. I want to know backstory. Listen, this is my wife. My wife goes, what do you think of that? I said, I think it's freaking brilliant. Yeah. And she said, she said, she said, who on the show do you think is going to like that? And I said, I go, I have no idea. I said, but I, for one, love it. I said, but I can't tell you. I go, because anybody that I think might like it might hate it. Anybody that might hate it might love it. I don't know. I don't want to jinx it. And I don't know. I just know that it's hysterical.
In the same way, see, but Woods, you've got to understand, Woods, there's a lot of things Woods didn't like necessarily. Oh, now do the dance. The dance. Here's the best part. I'm glad I can get behind. The reason that I, I'll tell you the reason I like it, because I'm a grown-up kid, and these are kid songs for adults. I want to know where she recorded it, why she recorded it, if she wrote it all herself. It kind of pales in comparison, though. It's like Halloween-y right there. Yeah. Snooki wrote a book. You might ask what's the hook. She has a hoof and little short boots and really knows how to cook up a party with Snooki. She writes about it in her book. Read it. Buy it.
I love it. She calls herself cool dog. She posted on the Facebook page. She calls herself cool dog. She's rad. Listen, here's the deal. Like, it's not supposed to be. It's just fun. A picadoo and diddly deet. What, Woods? Why did you take your headphones off? I get embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. You're embarrassed of what? You sound like? When you do the picadoo? A picadoo and diddly deet. Sounds like a combo song. Snooki wrote a book. You might ask what's the hook. She has a hoof and liver short boots and really knows how to cook. At the party with Snooki. She writes about it in her book. Read it. Buy it. Jake was singing it and he would go buy it, buy, buy it, buy, buy it. It's a remix.
Oh, my God. I'm speechless. I'm speechless. I never thought it was going to be that gold. It is gold. It's platinum. It's platinum. I never want that to go away. It won't. It won't. I'm sorry, Woods. It won't. What do you mean me? Woods likes it. All those in favor, show of hands, please. For favor of what? In favor of that song and keeping it. Oh, my God. Yes, Woods raised his hand. Wait, wait, wait. I vote for it. L.O.B. didn't raise her hand until Woods raised his hand. Yeah, what was that? Don't be pressured. You're being... Well... But you did. I feel pressured by you and Sienna. I feel pressured because... Yeah, but you instantly liked it and I could see it in your eyes. You were dancing to it. It's okay, L.O.B. L.O.B. and I, we're more students of comedy. Is that right? I just want to know if this is going to be used as much as Cat Crack was. I'm going to blow my head off. You loved Cat Crack. I think that when we talk about the Jersey Shore, that should be our new Jersey Shore.
Theme song. Emma and Lindsay can send stuff about any topic. Each week we need something. She has a cool fan, little short boots, and really little tactics. See you, Lauren. You like it. At the party with Snoopy. She writes about it in her book. Read it. Buy it. Buy it. It's not... For me, it's not a parody song, obviously. It's an original composition. It's like a jingle. It's an original. I come from the Micah Sparza school when it comes to writing a parody. That's not a parody. It's not a parody of another song. It's a comedic performance. It's a spoof. It's not a spoof. That's an original. It's not a spoof. It's not as tight as I would like it. It's not a spoof. Does that make sense? No. But that's why it's so good. It doesn't make sense. No, that doesn't make sense. That is akin to my brother saying to me when he heard the band The Darkness. It's so stupid. It sounds like the 80s.
Of course it does. That's the point. It's like the idea is. Now, I had to explain this to my wife because my wife, and she said, if you have to explain it, isn't that your rule if you have to explain it? And I go, yeah, it is. But I'm still going to give it a shot. The deal is that it's so bad that it's funny. To me, it's so bad that it's funny. I agree with that. I didn't want to say it. Yeah, it's so bad that it's funny. But that's what she's going for. Yes, of course. As long as that's what she's going for, then I'm on board. And it's so random. It's so random that when you think about it, you go, of all the things, like she went, I'm going to sit down and record a song. about Snooki's new book. Brilliant. That in and of itself. I got you. That in and of itself. Maybe we hire her part-time. I don't access that part of my brain very often. I'll say some random stuff, you know that, but that would never come to me. Maybe I'm a little hurt, sad, and fearful that I wouldn't think of something like that. Let me tell you.
If I can teach you to access that part of your brain, it'll get into your belly and it'll be like little champagne bubbles coming to the top. Because when I heard it, I became overwhelmingly happy. Filled with joy. I was hurt, sad, and fearful. Oh, I was so happy. Has she written before? It made my morning. Has she done songs for you before? No. Because she says she makes her return. And I was like, hmm. She sent me something a long time ago, but it never made it to the air. Can she call in if she's Facebooking Jay out there? Please call. Sell dung and real good out there? I'll put her down. Please call. Send her a message. She's the greatest. You know who it is. Yeah, I know who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do I? No, I've never met her. I've never met her. I've met her at one of my comedy shows. I've never met her. She's cute. She is cute. Very cute. Well, she should just come in then. She used to work in radio. She used to be a news girl. I got a phone number on her. She used to be a news girl. She's good. Yeah. She's good. She got to something topical before it even happened. That's right. Now that you've explained it to me, I get it a little bit more. Yeah. I get it a little bit more. And it'll grow on me.
Cat Crack actually grew on me. Nobody knows that, but I don't mind it now. I knew it. Yeah, I don't mind it. So a lot of people were texting me, writing me yesterday about the story about autism that came out yesterday. And so if you haven't heard yet, there was big news yesterday that has to do with vaccines and autism. And we'll tell you about it coming up. You know what? I didn't even tell you this story. I wanted to tell you this story earlier this morning and I forgot. You guys know how I get up at 1.30 in the morning? Yes. So I got up at 1.30 this morning and every morning when I get up, I drink a ton of water.
And you guys know how I get those big Fiji bottles? Yes. Well, I'm out of Fiji bottles. Oh, boy. So I've been drinking out of these. Good. Reusable. Yeah. It's this thing Rebecca drinks out of these no PCV deals. There's chemicals in there. I know. I bet there's chemicals. Well, there's supposed to be no chemicals made from this plastic. I don't buy it. It came from a planet that apparently makes plastic that doesn't have anything in it. Perfect bottles. Exactly. I'm going to go downstairs and we get some water this morning at one 30. And I know that, well, Rebecca's asleep. Jake's asleep. Babies are asleep. Nita's asleep. I'm like, everybody's asleep. Now I know I'm only wearing underwear right now, but can I make it downstairs in my underwear undetected and just sneak down there, get some water. And come back upstairs and book it back upstairs. No shirt. Just your underwear. I'm just in my underwear. Just boxers? Just panties. No, my boxer briefs. Okay, all right. Boxer briefs. A little worse than boxers. Yeah. Tight. Maroon. Maroon. And so I decide, nah, I'm going to wear a robe. So I throw a robe on. Good for you. And I go downstairs. And I'm in the kitchen.
And I'm going to still make my, just in case Nita wakes up, she's our Hungarian nanny who lives downstairs. Just in case she wakes up, I want to be quick about this. And as I'm down there getting the water, she walks in the front door. Whoa. She was getting home. Oh, wow. Well, that's perfect. That's a good time to get home. And I have my robe on. Thank goodness. I. You wouldn't. Oh, dude. Wow. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. I can't imagine you ever recovering from that. Never. Oh, no. It would have been awkward permanently. She would have come home and all their stuff would have been moved out of the house. They would have been living in a new house. You know what I would have had to do is I would have had to say to her, Nita, Nita, Nita, don't come in here. I don't have any clothes on. If you heard the turn of the key, would you have run? Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. You know why? Because I would have been in her line of sight. Oh, yeah. You should have just hid behind the island. Well, I was in a robe. What if you were just in your panties and she came in?
And you got scared because you thought it was a robber, and you ran into her room, and she walked into her room, and you're sitting there in your man panties on her bed. Oh, my God. Or you drop the glass of water, and then you get glass in your foot. Well, here's the thing, man. At first, when I heard it, I got really scared because I was like, somebody's coming in our house. Yes. It's 1.30. It's 1.30. I don't know. I don't know. In fact, I wrote Rebecca an email. Let's see if she wrote me down. Oh, 1.30 is not that late for a grown woman. All Rebecca says is that today is her day off. So last night was like her Friday night. Fantastic. Jay, well done. Wow. When you can get Mikey to stop. It's the best. Making Mikey stop and stare at you. Probably the highlight of this job. Not probably. Definitely the highlight of this job. If he drops the paper he's holding and just looks at you, you're like, done, I got it. Or he just looks down. Or he looks down, puts his head in his hands, or you hear this. You know you got it. Do you guys remember when I first said to the engineers here, when I go, wait, wait, wait, I go,
you guys are saying that I don't have control over his studio? And Bill was like, yeah, it's an extension of your board. It's like an angry Garrett. And I go, but what if I need to turn? I go, I don't have any control over any of the audio that comes out of his thing? No, what do you need that for? You know who that is? As they winked at me. All I need is one button. Nope. They hooked him up real good. It's all in who you know. It's great. Can he turn your mic off? Yes. You can't, can you? No. He can only turn his off. He should have said yes and then goes no. No, I don't think so. But I mean, I almost want to tell him because I'm like, I almost want to tell the engineers, what if he loses his mind and decides to take the place hostage? What do you mean, what if? Could you turn us all off? Yeah. Yeah. Pull the plug. Pull the plug. I literally cannot control what comes out of his play area. That's great. It makes it so fun to come to work because it's this dynamic between the two of you that are staring at each other. And I hear something like you'll hear.
somebody say oh that's really whatever and then you hear and you just look at Mike look at Jay and Jay look at Mike and smirk and you're like my favorite thing is I kind of hide behind my mic I kind of do this it's the greatest so you can't make eye contact maybe he can't see me he's hiding behind a microphone every time I look back he's going all proud of himself I know it's the greatest oh my goodness very proud of himself Okay. Well, let me see this news story, Sienna, because I'm going to try my best. I'll give you CNN first. Yeah, I'll try my best to explain to you what the developments were yesterday with vaccines and autism. Now, this means a lot to anybody that has kids, but it means a lot to anybody that's going to have kids, to people that have kids with autism. A big scare with autism and vaccines for a long time. Our son Jake has autism. And what it has centered around is a particular vaccine. Not just vaccines, but a particular vaccine. It's called the MMR. And it stands for measles, mumps, and rubella. They vaccinate kids with one shot against all three of these things. Measles, mumps, and rubella.
Now, so you know, my son Jake, he's never had that shot. And that's what it all centers around. The MMR. He's never had it. And he's got autism. Now, there are some people that are really like celebrities that are really big into saying that vaccines cause autism. Jenny McCarthy's one. I think even that Pete. Holly Robinson-Pete, who was just on Celebrity Apprentice. She's the wife of Rodney Pete, the quarterback. Mike, all vaccines or just this MMR? Just MMR. Just MMR is what they're saying. Is what it centers around. Causes autism. Autism. Okay, this doctor in England named Dr. Andrew Wakefield in 1998 published in a very prestigious, kind of like you've heard of the New England Journal of Medicine. Absolutely. It's the equivalent, but in Europe.
British Journal. The British Journal. And he published a paper and the paper said that... It was from a study that he had done. That he conducted. Yeah. And it said that these kids that had taken the MMR shot then became autistic. How many? Twelve. Twelve kids. He did it on twelve kids. Now, a couple of years ago, it was discovered that he was actually taking money. from attorneys who were planning on suing the vaccine companies wow which he had never said that monster okay so it and then he came out and started defending himself and saying you know listen the study's legit the study's legit i'm not doing it for the money it's not what you think yeah
He took about $600,000 in what would be equivalent of U.S. money to do this. Now, what happened yesterday, what was the big thing that they said yesterday, was that they actually found that he was like falsifying stuff. Well, he had the 12 kids in the study. Here's what it says. It says, Andrew Wakefield. who is accused of an elaborate fraud, is now in a now retracted British study that linked autism to childhood vaccines, is defending himself and saying that his work has been grossly distorted. Speaking to CNN's Anderson Cooper, the doctor said on Wednesday he has been the target of, quote, a ruthless, pragmatic attempt to crush any attempt to investigate valid vaccine safety concerns. I believe that.
So he's still trying to defend himself. However, people that did studies and looked into this from the British Journal discovered that he was altering the facts about the 12 kids he used in the study, saying that they had no signs of autism before the shot, when in fact some definitely did have signs of autism before. He is also the biggest smoking gun. Is the fact that he took six hundred thousand dollars from lawyers that were going to sue the vaccine companies and they could use his published report. Yeah. Helping their case to help their case. And in addition to that, like what happened yesterday, they found that he was falsifying a bunch of stuff. I'd wait to see proof. The big corporations with all the money from the vaccine companies, I mean, they make so much money. I'm sure they can make it seem like anything you're doing is wrong. The other thing that has really caused a lot of eyebrows to be raised is the fact that they have tried to recreate his findings.
By doing study after study after study after study. Nobody has ever been able to recreate what his published report said happened. In 12 years. Wow. In 12 years they've been trying to recreate it. In fact, they have invited him to do it again. And he won't. Of course not. So then, you know, meanwhile, there's parents like Mike and Rebecca who have a child who's autistic and wondering, do I get the shot? Is this bad? Well, we've never gotten the shot. We never got the shot. And Jake has autism. But there's parents everywhere that that are scared. You know, who do I listen to? Now, I got to tell you, this news has come out that Dr. Andrew Wakefield was taking money from lawyers to come up with a study that would help them make. gajillions of dollars um it's also come out that he in that study yesterday it came out that he was falsifying them um it's also known that they've tried to recreate his study a bunch of times and they can't yeah they've invited him to do his study again he won't um and so from the information that i just gave you all signs point to he was full of it okay yeah and still
Because fear is so strong. Still, Rebecca and I are afraid. Because fear is such a deep-rooted thing that gets into you and it takes root. Now, my wife and I, obviously because Jake is autistic, we've talked about this a lot. And one of the things that she said that I said, oh man, you're absolutely right. Is the same reason that... Some people believe in conspiracy theories when it comes to 9-11. When something's really, really bad, your brain refuses to accept that there's no answer to it. It refuses to accept. And like with 9-11, the answer was that they were evil people that did an evil thing. And for some people, that's not enough. It was so horrific and so awful. That's not enough.
They create a conspiracy theory that's like, no, George Bush was in on it and the United States was in on it. And we deliberately murdered 3000 Americans and we did this on purpose and blah, blah, blah, which I don't believe. OK, and I've seen pocket change the documentary about it. And I think it's baloney and I think it's silly. I think it's silly. People that believe that we. were responsible for what happened on 9-11. And very similarly with this vaccine thing, I think that parents who have autistic kids so badly want to be able to say, this was it. You know, this is what caused autism in my son or my daughter. When in fact, it could be that that's... Just what happened? You know, I mean, at least in our case, it is because Jake never got the MMR shot. And that's the one that's under, you know, that they're talking about is the MMR shot. Everyone just wants to know a why, why, why, why, why, you know, and when there's no answer, it's like you can't deal with that. You need to know when it's your child, especially. That's why you hear about stuff. You know, you hear about.
You know, somebody murders somebody's child and the parents have to talk to the murderer because they have to find out why. You just can't live with the fact that that's the way that it is. Yeah. And you always and we as humans are curious people, very curious, some of us more than others. We've got to get to the root of the problem. We have to. Or you don't sleep at night. When it comes to something medical, though, the hope is that something preventative or treatment-wise can be done. So I understand asking why a lot more when it comes to medically. Sure. Well, think about all the kids out there that didn't get that vaccine that maybe have gotten sick. Because of that's part of the story. Part of the story is that since then, people have stopped vaccinating their kids out of fear, out of fear. And that the measles in Europe are I can't remember what they said. They're up like 70 percent or something like that. You know, the numbers are staggering how much the numbers are going up on these. Jay, did you want to say something? Yeah, I was just saying, you know.
Our kids, we never vaccinated any of them. And my daughter's 23, 22, 23. And it's like, I just feel like they throw so much stuff into the shots now and all the stuff that they want you to give your kid. It's just like, really, do we need all this? Or is this just another money making opportunity for the vaccine companies? And hey, dude, I'm right along with you. Like, I don't have any issue with that. I think that that sounds solid. The only thing that... Like, here's what I can't get behind, and that is the Jenny McCarthy's of the world that go, it's vaccines that are causing autism. I think that's irresponsible. We have a family doctor who has a son. Perfect. Nothing wrong with him. Everything was going good. Vaccination, came home that day, immediately was just down and out, and then he's autistic. Okay. But he was fine all the way up to that point. And this is a doctor, and he's like, 100%. 100%. Okay, now, the fact that he's a doctor doesn't change it for me because Jenny McCarthy's not a doctor, and she said the same thing. She said one day he was fine, and the next day he wasn't fine. Okay, well, you know, that's not the case with a lot of people with...
Kids with autism. I wouldn't say it's 100% this is what causes it, but I think that maybe if it's something that's already in your makeup, let's say there's something already in you that may be... Which is what they think. They think that it's two things. They think about autism. This is what they say. They say that, and they don't know. I mean, we don't know. So they don't say this firmly. They say they believe that it could be a combination of environmental, which is stuff out in the environment, And it could be something that's in your genetics that you're genetically predisposed to. And maybe looking for a trigger. There could be a trigger, and this could be part of a trigger that leads you into a different path. Maybe your body just needed one more chemical. They're saying that some kids who live next to the freeway, there's been some studies. Hey, dude, I'll tell you one thing that I think is kind of interesting. There's a lot of NFL quarterbacks whose kids have autism. Really? Yeah. And I remember at one time they were like, I wonder if that's an environmental thing that's chemical because a lot of these quarterbacks, they lick their fingers before they, you know, when they take the ball, they always are licking their fingers. Well, the grass is covered in fertilizer. Yeah.
And they're constantly getting that ball that's covered in all these chemicals. That's a good point. And they're ingesting it constantly for years and years and years and years and years. They're ingesting it. Now, is that an answer? No. All it is is an idea. But here's what I can tell you about. I don't know if vaccines cause autism. I don't know that. What I do know is that Andrew Wakefield, who did a very important study on it. who said the MMR shot was causing autism, is full of S. Yeah. He's full of it. Looks that way, for sure. He's full of it. Yeah. Okay, so does that mean that the MMR shot doesn't cause autism? I don't know. But I do know that Andrew Wakefield, it appears, was full of it. Yeah. Because they've been trying to recreate what he came up with, and they can't. And he was taking money from people that were against the vaccines. They just proved that he was falsifying the information that he wrote. Would you let the twins get the shot? No. I think there's a way, too, to break the shots down. Night Scream wrote in that you don't have to get them all. Yes, you do. I know this for a fact. Okay. Because when the twins were about to be born, trust me, Rebecca and I were like, I wonder if you could. They make the measles, mumps, and rubella available in separate shots?
There's nowhere in San Diego that we could find. In fact, the only place that we could find was someplace in Los Angeles where you can go and they'll separate them. But most places, the measles, mumps, and rubella all come in one shot. Now, there was one place in LA that separated them. I mean, and that was what, I mean, think of this now. So, okay, so which one does it then? Is it the measles one? You know, which one do you take out? The measles, the mumps, or the rubella? Jake didn't even have it. Jake didn't even have that shot. I'm scared to death. I'm having a child in two months. And Sage got all the shots that they recommended. I said, okay. And it's scary, but I just feel like, what do I know saying no? There's more shots coming, too. Every two months, she gets a new set. The interesting thing is this. We've got three parents on the show. Mikey, Sienna. and Jay, all three of which I respect as a parent. Mike didn't get the shot. His son's autistic. You got the shots with Sage. We'll see. Jay didn't give his kids any shots, and all four of them are healthy. So I'm sitting here, the next parent to be on the show, and I'm like... It's like that dartboard right there. What do I do? Shots, no shots, nothing. But that's what I wonder, too. Sienna just said, Sienna just said, well...
What about you, Mike? Will you let the twins who are a year old, will you let them get the MMR shot? And I said, no. Well, how come? I'm afraid. We have a son that's autistic. Who never got the shot. Who never got the shot. I'm still afraid. Still afraid. Yeah, but what about other shots like, you know, the whooping cough shot and stuff like that? That has something else in it, too. Well, yeah. Would you let your kids get that? Nope. I was terrified. I was like, everyone's getting that shot because it's everywhere, you know? Oh, I got the whooping cough shot. And that's what I thought to do. It's like, when do you stop? And see, I thought the best thing to do is to vaccinate me and Rebecca and we won't give it to them, you know, because we won't get it and we won't pass it on. But babies are supposed to get it every two months when they're little. What do I do? Sage has gotten it twice already. You just have a crapshoot real good? I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. Neither do I. I'm going to trust the doctor and try more than I trust myself. I think I'm on more of that boat than anything. M1 Waterboy from Oceanside. Yeah, morning, Mikey. Morning. Hey, yeah, I just wanted to call in. I actually work in the pharmaceutical industry. I'm not a sales rep because I'm not that good looking. And you're not a girl.
I'm a chemical engineer. Yeah, exactly. And 15 years of manufacturing experience. So just wanted to throw a few things out there. One, I know the guys that work at the facilities that make these vaccines. I know them personally, and I know they have kids. So they're out to get anybody hurt. And all my kids are vaccinated. I have three girls, and I wouldn't manufacture anything. I wouldn't put them in myself. The other thing I wanted to throw out there was I love Jay. You're kind of off here, Jay. They don't make a lot of money on vaccines. The vaccine manufacturer actually has to be subsidized by the U.S. government to protect the public health, because if you look over history, the big innovator companies have dropped out of vaccine manufacturers because the money's not in it like it is for high blood pressure medication. Well, that's good. Antidepressants. Yeah. So, you know, you've got a position of power. Don't be spouting out there that they're making all this. He didn't know, and I don't know. You know, I mean, I got a kid with autism. All of us are scared and unsure. If I only talked about what I knew, we'd be in trouble. He wouldn't say a word. Yeah, I couldn't talk. Hey, I appreciate it, Waterboy. Great info. Great info. Yeah, good info. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Love you. Let's see. 570-1949. M1 Mark from Point Loma. Are you there, Mark? How are you this morning? Good, man. What's up? Hey, I went through the same.
Trials and tribulations with my wife. I had two small boys, and I didn't want any of the shots. My wife wanted all the shots. Come to the realization was, you know, what if you could have prevented, you know, your future kid from getting something the shots would have helped? Yeah. That's what I came around to, and I couldn't do it. You know, I couldn't go, wow, I could have prevented this. What if I lost, a friend of mine lost one of his? young ones and uh i ended up getting the shots for my kids and i you know i was i was hoping and praying we checked out the whole autism thing and i was very nervous being a new dad and uh ended up doing it and my kids came out okay so i just uh you know it's it's it's all a gamble and and what are you gonna do it's life is unpredictable it really is you know the more the more we talk about it i mean obviously i don't i haven't been sleeping a lot Lately, we have, you know, for those of you that don't know, my wife and I are adopting a child. And that's in and of itself about a billion headaches. A newborn baby. You know, we're adopting a newborn. And there's about a billion headaches to go along with that. You know, is she going to change her mind? Are we, is this really going to happen? You know, I'm more skeptical than the missus. But that's just who I am. I'm a more cynical person. But, dude, I'm.
This is like a new headache to think about every single night. Mikey knows the way I feel about his son Jake. If I had a son just like Jake, I wouldn't have a problem with that whatsoever. I had such an amazing experience with Jake yesterday. Gosh darn, man. I started tearing up just thinking about it. Yesterday, Jake and I were sitting on the bed and we had a conversation. He's getting so much better. Talking? Yeah. That's so cool. We had a conversation and it was so cool, you know. It's very difficult for him to communicate in a dialogue. Right. He communicates mostly through things that he remembers. So most conversations that you have are very basic, you know.
uh, how are you, Bob? I'm good. Uh, you know, you can ask him basic questions. Yeah. But I asked him, I was asking him questions and he, he was, uh, he was letting me, but then he was kind of, you know, zoning out and I said, uh, he said, I'll let you have three. More questions. He's turning the tables. Rule of three. And I said, OK. So I asked him a question. I asked him another question. I asked him questions that I knew he would want to answer. And then he got to the end and he said, OK, I'll let you ask four more questions. And so I started asking the questions. And I started asking him things because he – You guys know this. He trips out on certain things like he really likes going to the bathroom and watching the – and he really loves those kind of toilets that flush automatically. Loves them. Yeah. He loves them. Fascinated. And I don't know why. None of us do. And so I asked him why and he said, I don't know. And I just – I was persistent. And he said, because I like the sound.
And he usually always says, I don't know. He's never said that. He always says, I don't know. And it was so great to hear him say what he thought. And to have you ask him a question and him process it and give you an answer. Give an answer. Give a reason. And then I asked him, I said, why do you love daddy? Getting a kid. Give me good. And he told me, he said, because we watch TV. And he just started telling me these things. And I've never had that conversation with Jake. I've never been able to because of his autism. And here he is. He's talking to me. He's telling me stuff. And you could tell he was a little uncomfortable because he's never done it. It was like blowing his mind. It's new for him. And he does this thing that we call silly talk where he...
He'll script. He'll say stuff that he's heard on TV or whatever. And so I know he loves Yo Gabba Gabba. So we went online and we found this thing that he really wants from Yo Gabba Gabba. And we made a deal that if he doesn't talk, if he doesn't silly talk for seven days, he could have this thing. And Rebecca and I talked about it later. We think it's probably too much. He won't be able to go that long. So we'll probably drop it back to three days. It was like yesterday I talked to my son. I've never really had those opportunities. You should write that down and save that date. Put it in his baby book and just keep updating it on how much better he's getting. Because that's something you don't ever want to forget. He surprises me so much, little Jakey does, because I've spent a lot of time with him and I love it. I love to spend time with him. I love him so much.
I was up here last weekend when we were off, and I was showing some of the guys on my baseball team the studio. So Jakey and Mike walk in, and they're going to pick up the camera and go to the auto show together. And Mikey goes, well, that's where Daddy sits. And Jake walks over, grabs the mic, and he goes, and now on the Mikey show. And I'm like, I stood here, and I'm like, where's the camera? Where's the camera? It was the raddest thing you've ever seen. And he started. Like broadcasting was so cool. My wife's on the phone. Let's see. Hey, babe. Hey, are you on the air? Yeah. Oh, Jake actually heard you talking about him and he wanted to talk to you. He said he wanted to call you. Can he talk to you? Yeah. Okay. Hey, Bubba. Hi. What are you doing? Where are you going? Next time? Yeah, next time. You are going to go to Disneyland. Where are you right now? You're at school? I wouldn't want to go either. I would. Hey, bub, can you sing a song? What? Let's see. Why don't you sing Sing It Out by Switchfoot? My favorite thing.
I don't know how it's been. I don't know how it's been. Can you sing? Can you sing always? Yeah! Curfee! I love you. Welcome back. A lot of, uh... Really nice M1s, man. Really nice M1s that are writing to us and posting stuff online. And then some other folks that I hope can at some point be different. Jeez Louise. Speechless. Cruel. Yeah, listen, this is what Be Different is about. That's the epitome of it. This is what Be Different is about.
I have started something called Be Different. It's a pact that we take as a group of people. The website is BeDifferentPact.org. I don't want to say her name because I don't want to say her name. I do, but I won't. I know I'm not going to, but I do. I'm trying to be different. I'm staring at my bracelet. It's helping. During the thing that I was doing and talking about Jake, my son. She wrote and she said, it takes me approximately 45 minutes to drive to and from my son's school in the morning. During that time, I flipped back and forth between yours and a couple of other stations. You literally talked the whole time and did not play one song. No one cares about your stupid stories all targeted about you. I thought it was about the music. Shut the F up, you narcissistic moron.
Your morning show ruins a perfectly good radio station. Now, I didn't get that text. Jay gets the text, and he passes on stuff to me. So he responded to her, and he said, Sorry you feel that way. This is what we're paid to do. I know it's not your cup of tea. You will have to get your music fixed somewhere else from 6 to 10. She wrote back, Yeah, no S. I thought it would be nice. You were. You were. Very diplomatic. You were. Very diplomatic, Jay. The only thing I would have left out is the part about this is what we're paid to do because I think it may be incited her, but she sounds like an incited person. It didn't take much to light that fuse. But anyway, she wrote back and said, a radio station that tells the listeners to, quote, get your music fix somewhere else. That should go over well all over social media. You really are misinformed as to why people listen to the radio. And it's not to hear about your self-absorbed host in his underwear. Social media has just as big a voice, if not bigger, than radio these days. I'm sure San Diego will love to hear that they should, quote, get their music fix somewhere else.
They pay you for that? Really? Count your blessings while it lasts. Okay. Wow. Well, here's the deal. First of all, it makes me sad that she's taking her sons to school. And the reason that makes me sad is because she's got sons. And they might grow up to be like mom. That makes me sad. And the reason it makes me sad is because they are going to be going to school along with kids like my kid who's got autism. And a woman that would write for somebody to shut the F up, you narcissistic moron. Man, I don't want those kids going to school with mine. Agreed. Ironic.
It is ironic. You're talking about your son in such a touching way. And it bothered her so much as she's in the car with her sons. Yeah. Well, that's what be different is about. You know, be different is about our nature. Our nature tells us to do stuff that's really mean. And be different is a pact that we all take where we say we want to be different. We don't want to do that. We don't want to do what Dina did. If I had gotten that email four months ago, I'd have called it, don't be Dina. But be different was more readily available. This pact to me means everything because the way that I would have responded to that is much different than the way that Jay responded to it. I don't like that. I think that's...
I think that's chicken ass, and I think it's weak. We haven't played music for a year. We've been on the air a year, and we don't play songs, and we talk about our personal lives. If you're such an avid listener, you would know that. If you were a big 94.9er, then you would know that. My blood is boiling. It always does in these instances, and I have to stare at the bracelet on my arm to not. you know, respond in a really nasty way because I, I just, I'm learning and a 35 year old man, I'm learning not to do what I want to do anymore. I can't do what I want to do. Yeah. I'm going to have a kid soon and I have to change even things that I do around my house, you know, and I'm starting to see that those things that I do sometimes are wrong the way I talk that, you know, that is, there is no excuse for that. Well, that's the thing, you know, I mean, Rebecca and I have lived with Jake's autism for four years. And during that time, especially during the last year, man, I've gone through some really, really tough personal things in my life. And I think to myself, man, I'll tell you what. It sure would be awesome if one of the things that was so upsetting to me in my life was a radio station. Right.
Because I can't imagine that. I have had things that have happened over the past year and just that have happened. You know, with Jake's autism and stuff like that, you know, I bet Dina's driving healthy boys to school. Right. Yeah, man, and I look at somebody like my wife and, you know, what we're going through with our situation of adopting a kid and my wife being a 39-year-old woman who can't have her own kids and, you know, all the headaches that we now have in our life every day can't sleep because we're worrying about and you know my natural reaction is the old give her the old bird but you know what Dina I'm sorry that you feel that way we love you and we hope that that you you don't uh don't hate us because we're just trying to trying to make some people laugh and trying to talk about funny important things that everyday life you know and for the record what Jay said about if you
From 6 to 10, you'll have to get your music fixed somewhere else. Our program director has come on the air and said such. He's gone on the 94.9 fan page on Facebook and said as much, which is social media. Right. So that's unfortunately, if you don't like it, I'm sorry that you can't listen to your favorite station. Yeah. Play music. Four hours. Right. I mean, her thing is, oh, my goodness. You know, did you just have the audacity to say. that people could get their music fixed somewhere else from 6 to 10. Yeah. So does our promos. Yeah. It's Mikey in the morning. It's about the music the rest of the day. Yeah. That's what our promo says. You know, I just, that's what Be Different is about, man. It's just, that's such an example of it. Let's see. Mikey Show, hello. Perspective against that. the caller, the texter. I was on hold. I was the guy that was crying on the way to the office because the story was so touching. So she's the minority in that opinion. We all listen to the radio, listen to the songs, but that was touching and it was moving and that was selfish of her to even just turn the station. Why even send that? That's sad that she'd have to do that, but I think that you guys are rocking it and I think that that was a beautiful story. I think that...
There's a lot of people out there that really appreciated it, and it touched a lot of people. And I also have an opinion on the vaccination thing, too, from some research that I had done. So you don't need to put me on the air or anything. No, dude, you've been on it. You're on the air. We're not able to screen right now, so I'm just having a take call. Got it. I've done some homework on the vaccination thing, and all I can say to anybody that's having a child is do the research, because there's a lot of information out there. on YouTube and just Googling things that that would blow your mind and at least give you enough information to where you can think it logically through before you make the decisions. I'm not going to have vaccinations when I have children because the guy that called from the clinic that provides all the stuff that puts those together, I'm sure they all have very great intentions, but where the ingredients for some of that stuff comes from, this lies at every level in a lot of situations. Sure. with conspiracies. And there's so much information out there that there's communities of people that are all pointing in the same direction, that are saying the same things, that are having the same experiences. Those voices can be very loudly heard if you just kind of dig a little bit deeper. But that story, you know, not necessarily the most emotional guy, but that was touching. And anybody that thinks otherwise issues inside with themselves.
You don't want to bash them, but you just want to feel sorry for them and their kids that they have to be raised by parents that go out of their way to people in such a touching moment like that. Because that was beautiful, and there was a lot of love in that. And anybody that saw otherwise wasn't looking at it from the right perspective. Well said. Thank you, bro. Very well said. Appreciate it. Thank you very much, man. Very eloquent. Thanks for the call. Thanks. All right. Let's see. All right. We have to take a break, though, right? We got to take a break. We got a lot. Chase is now. Not until 920. We stack it. Oh, that's right. Oh, good. Oh, cool. Then I can take calls. M1 Super Truck from North Island. What's going on? Yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know that that lady, she was just kind of mean and hateful at what she was saying and that the M1s that don't know and the 94.9 listeners that don't know, the Mikey Show saved our station because before he came on...
The station was operating in the red, and they let some people go. And when he came on, he brought sponsors. He brought humor, family values. He brought so much to the station and to San Diego that, you know, I was a 10 o'clocker. I would listen to a show on the other station, flip to 94.9 at 10 and listen to it. And like I'm saying, he saved the station. So people that are down in all this, they're wrong. saved 94.9, and, you know, and the stories are touching. You know, I feel like I'm part of Mikey's family and the whole crew's family because we get to see the inside of your lives. And I just want to say thank you, Mikey Show, for saving 94.9. Thank you, man. Thank you. That's such an awesome thing for you to say, and I appreciate that so much, man. We all do. Thank you very much. M1 Daniel from Bankers Hill. You know, I just want to say that, you know, I moved here about three months ago, so I have really small amount of knowledge about this radio station's path. I started getting an early job and that allowed me to start listening to you guys during the Mikey show. I got to be honest, like your show is really the only reason why I'm on time to work because I would not get up early enough to make it to work unless I had like the motivation to listen to your show. And you know, today with that story, I mean, I'm on my way to work and I'm tearing up and I work with like a bunch of guys and I'm like,
God, I got to get rid of these tears. Just tell them it's allergies. Yeah, that's great. I kept like, oh, man, this guy that I just, I listen to every day. And he's telling me about his kid. And they're like, dude, who is this? Like, oh, no, it's Mikey on the radio. You tell him 94.9, pal, 6 to 10. Make it right. Yeah. So don't go anywhere. You know, don't let anybody who says that, you know, they're not happy with what you're doing, you know, sway you because there's a lot. lot of people in San Diego that just love what you do, including me. Thank you, Daniel. I love that. It doesn't sway us. It doesn't sway us. It hurts our feelings. It really does. It baffles me. It baffles me, too. I come from that place of like... I don't necessarily love the Jonas Brothers. I don't. But I'm not going to call their management, and I'm not going to go on their fan page, and I'm not going to even involve myself in something I don't like. Why go so far out of your way to hurt someone? To hurt somebody's feelings. What's the good in that? Listen, I hate the Boston Red Sox. I hate them. I can't stand them. And you know what? On my page, we'll go into some baseball debates and stuff, but I don't.
call the Red Sox management. And I don't go on a Red Sox fan page and run my mouth. I have my opinions, and that's fine. And I'll debate people about it, but I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, man. It's really mean. It's a weird way to exert your efforts. Yeah. This is M1 Ken from Solana Beach. What's up, Ken? Mikey, it's a pleasure. Thank you, bro. Um, yeah. Um, I love your show. First time caller. Uh, anytime you talk about your son, I'm, I'm very interested, but I was just riveted this morning. I mean, I just, I didn't go to tears, but say I'm a school bus driver for 25 years, exclusively special ed. So I've got that connection and I've just, but just, wow. Thank you, man. That was just something.
I was picking up a kid at the time, and my little boy that got on the bus, when your son was there singing, that song, Alan kind of peaked up, because I usually don't have the radio on, and he heard this little boy singing, and I could tell by the look in his face that he was listening to it. Yeah. That's awesome. He's not autistic, he's something else, but still, he's a neat little kid, and they all are. Thank you, man. It's so hard, and it's got to be so hard for Mike to do that, too. I mean, Mike's a, you know, I mean, we're men, and we don't like to cry, and, you know, it's just, it's very admirable to me. Yeah, absolutely. It's very admirable. That's so sweet. Well, you guys know, man, and this has always been the deal, is that we have a pretty special relationship with our listeners, and M1s mean an awful lot to me. The one thing that we always want to be really, really different about is that, you know, such a real show, man. We're always going to be very real. It ain't easy all the time to talk about all the stuff that's going on personal. You know, I mean, each person on this show has bald crying on the air with thousands of people listening about something that.
is going on in our life. And, you know, I know my wife has a tough time with it. And I know when I talk about things that, you know, are personal to us, she has a tough time with it. And I had to have that conversation with her of, this is what we do, babe. And it's not easy on your relationship. No, it's not. Your family relationship, your spouse. It's not, man. It's not easy at all. They didn't necessarily sign up for it. Exactly. She's like, what did I do? You know, and it's just, but it's what we kind of made a pact for. to do because it's who we are yeah you know yeah i think that's part of the the deal is it you know we're always going to be on the radio who we uh who we are um you know and i remember when we all got together and we were talking about what we were going to do as a radio show that was uh that was the deal and you know yesterday was a big day too um because of uh you know at the end of the show we had a former p1 call in And there was like all this stuff on the fan page about P1s and M1s and all that stuff. And I said over and over again, man, I just want there to be peace. And the reason that I have that philosophy is because it's kind of the philosophy of be different. The life that we have here is like a grain of sand on the beach. It's so short. And I don't want to spend any of that time.
In a negative or bitter, angry place, you know? And I don't ever, ever, ever want M1s to make P1s feel unwelcome. They are welcome. They are welcome to listen to both of the shows. And call in. And call in. Be involved. Can I just say, some people may not know what a P1 is. P1 is what we used to call. M1s. And when I came over to this radio station from Rock 105, the very first day, I think we brought up P1s, and they had attorneys hit us up with this thing called a cease and desist and say, you can't say that on the air. And so he said, ah, it's fine. Call it M1s. We'll switch her up a little. Mikey Show listeners. And that's what we've been doing. Our listeners are called M1s.
You know, the deal is that nobody should make you feel like you can't be a part of a radio station. You can't be a part of a listenership. And if they do, what does that tell you about them? What does it tell you about them? More the merrier. Everybody get on board. And you're allowed to like other people and other things. This is an open relationship. Absolutely. Absolutely. We're not married. We'd like to be, but we're not. Let's see. M1 Happy Squid from Ramona. What's up? Hey, how you doing? I moved to Ramona in July. I love your show. I made full email today, but that's all the credit I'm going to give her in this conversation because I think that's what she wants. I'm calling because I like what you guys do. I like what you do, especially, Mikey, with your Christianity, put it out there on the air. And at least to be different, even if you're not a Christian, just to be a good person should be a goal of everybody. So, you know, if that's not your bag, it's Christianity. I mean, it's mine, but it's on anybody else. But the fact that you're taking something and being positive, those hate males are only going to multiply exponentially. Like I said, if you're on top, you're going to have haters. And I think it's going to be negative because it's going to hurt your heart at first.
But, I mean, if you think about it, it's positive in the long run because that just means that you're affecting people. Nextly positive, you're affecting somebody. They may have a hole in their soul that they can't fill, so they're going to fill it by putting you and putting other people down. So, I mean, it stinks. It's going to sting at first. But if you think about it in the long run, I mean, somebody's listening to you. Well, thank you, Happy Squid. I appreciate that, and it's very nice. And we're getting nice text messages, too. People have texted and said some really nice stuff. Let's do this. I want to talk to this guy, Ryan. Ryan works at the radio station. He works here at FM 94.9. We were talking about this and we were saying, well, what can get you a $1,500 fine and 16 hours of community service? Ryan, are you there? I am. Good morning. Good morning. You work in our promotion department, right? I'm on air, actually. Oh, you're on the air. Yeah, I think I've done one on-air shift for FM 94.9.
I work for the sister station. Oh, right on. I'm one of the faceless weekend people. He's got a great radio voice. Yeah. Great radio voice. Yeah. We're being like four hours there. There you go. So, Ryan, what got you the $1,500 fine and the 16 hours of community service? Oh, man, it's been epically bad. I'm guilty. I flicked. Now, did it happen on the freeway or did it happen on a side street? No, it happened in my neighborhood in Carlson Village. Oh, in your neighborhood. Oh, my gosh. Oh, there's cops there all the time. And I didn't see the guy, and I did it, you know? I did it. It's wrong. I opposed the litter. It's one situation. I didn't even think about it. This guy was Captain America, and he had been dead, I guess, and he took it out on me, and then the judge followed up with it. So the cop did, you're saying the cop did, and the judge did? Yeah.
both were just like super California hate smokers worth throwing the book at you. Weird. Now, Jay, what is the, do we know what the fine can be and what this can carry with it? Apparently, the max fine is $1,000 for the littering that he got. And then the $500 fine is because he hasn't switched his driver's license to a California license. Wow. Mine's done. Oh, yours is done? Yeah. Oh, look at you. I was all ready for that. It takes care of business. What about the community service? That's for littering. Now, he has to go out and pick up other people's litter for 16 hours? Yeah, that's correct. Speechless. Speechless. Let's see. Now, do you have any prior offenses? Negative. I hadn't gotten a ticket in a long, long, long time. Never been arrested. Never had. DUI or anything like that. So, no. What was your previous ticket for? Last ticket I got was probably for speeding. Okay. Wow. I'm in shock. I'm shocked. I currently have no points on my record. That's just, you know, a picture of... Oh, my gosh. Well, okay. Now, a couple of points. One point is that it sounds like the judge was way... He was within the boundaries of the law.
And so if a person doesn't like that you got a $1,500 fine, $500 of which is because you had some issues with your license, and 16 hours of community service, if somebody has an issue with that, then we need to change the law because the law allows for that. Now, do I think that that's a lot? Of course. I think anybody does. I think anybody does. that I think is the biggest point to make is that if it's a lot, then you've got to change the law. And it is exorbitant, but it's within the law. I think it's right on target. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Of course he does. I'm leaving, and I'm out. Now, wait. Now, Jay, let's hear you out. Why do you think so? Well, okay, let's see. How many big, giant fires have been started by cigarettes? Who knows? That's true. Jay, how many? Well, last year's big fire that was up in wherever, it was all written up. It was cigarettes on the side of the road. So we threw it out. Millions of dollars spent. Firemen risking their lives because a smoker could not take the cigarette and put it in his own ashtray. Really? You're going to throw it out the window and it's going to end up out in the ocean floating around? It's like, I don't care if you smoke. Actually, I do.
I don't want to be – you don't impose on me. It's like I've got cigarette butts all out in front of my house. It drives me crazy. Woodsy. What? What do you think? I'm furious. I think it's absurd. I think that cop was being a cowboy. Well, you know who did get a $1,000 fine? Jay, do you speed? Oh, absolutely. Is that against the law? And if I get pulled over, I'll get my ticket. What if he gives you a ticket that's more than what it usually is? Would you be mad? No, no. Wait a minute. Wait a second, Woodsy. What? If the fine for speeding... It sounds like the fine for littering can be lower than $1,000. Oh, it can be. Okay, I'm sure that's the same for speeding. Okay, so let's say that speeding, I can get a ticket up to $1,000 for speeding. Depends on how fast you are. The faster you're going, the more the ticket. It's more cut and dry, I think, with the speeding. I think with littering and stuff like that, it's like, well, let's see how severe we think it is. Seems like a judgment call. And in my opinion, the guy's judgment was a little harsh. Well, wait a minute. The community service is absurd. He even said that the judge ruled the same. Of course he did. And he said the judge was a, you know. He said the cop was a cowboy and the judge was a cowboy too. Now, listen, I guess there's one very easy way to never have to deal with that judge. Sure, put your butts out in your car. Yeah. It's easy. I don't do it. I don't do it all the time. I do it sometimes, but I don't do it all the time. Hey, listen, I'm guilty of speeding.
If I get caught speeding, then the judge has a right to like bust me with as much of a thing as here's my issue. And everybody knows that this is my issue. My issue is the flashlight in the mirror. Right. It's way easier for us to hold the flashlight than it is for us to hold the mirror. Sure. And he admits he's wrong. No, but when he did, I heard a very like. And Ryan, I don't know, you tell me. It seemed to me like Ryan was doing a thing of like, okay, I was wrong. Was I? Okay, I was wrong. Okay, was I? But anyway, I mean, it's instead of, hey, listen, I was wrong. There's no two ways about it. And the only way that I avoid this is by not doing it. Now, not everybody has that feeling. A lot of people go, they're a jerk, not me. It's their problem. I can't believe they're such a jerk that they give me such, listen, the guy's operating within the context of the law. You know, you don't get that fine if you don't do it. And I just, I don't know, man. It's really tough for me. It's exorbitant. It is. I mean, it's the high end of the law. You shouldn't have a high end and you shouldn't have a low end. You should have the law. But there's levels of clarity. It should be cut and dry. Here's the difference. Somebody throw a bottle blows out of the back of your truck. Okay. A plastic bottle.
Okay, hey, you shouldn't have that bottle in the back of your truck. I'm only going to charge you 50 bucks. You didn't do it on purpose, but you still shouldn't have had it. But now here you're throwing your cigarette butt out the window. And deliberately. And it's deliberately because it didn't actually fall out. I'm going to give you the maximum fine because you know what this could do? This could start a fire that could... that put many families out of their homes. I get it. I get it. When I smoked, I used to do it, by the way. Oh, yeah. Question, Jay. I did, too. A lot of times, if I have a coffee cup in my car, and I'll be blasting a stick, and I'll put it out in the coffee cup. Love it. Let's say, what would you do if I dipped it in the coffee to put it out, threw it out the window? Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Because it stinks. Bad. Oh, you're a smoker, though. You have to put up with it. But I don't like it. It's a penalty. Wow. That is, dude. That's the cross you bear. Oh, my gosh. It stinks. So the rest of us have to. You're so hypocritical. I can't wrap my head around that. Why is it hypocritical? No, no, no. To me, it isn't hypocritical. It's so hard to wrap my brain around because it's literally like going, you know what? My caca stinks, and so I'm going to throw it in the road. Yeah, for you to have to deal with. Now, I don't have to caca in my car. I think a paper is a little different. I understand, but you said it stinks. It does stink. So you don't want to inconvenience yourself. Well, here's the deal. If you take a cigarette, and let's say right now I smoke two drags of a cigarette, put it out.
Put it back in my pack. And smokers will know this. They'll agree. It's a different kind of smell. It's a different thing. It can't inconvenience you. Jay's big bit is the forest fires. What if it's not lit? I'm both. I don't want the, and I even said it, I don't want the cigarette butts making its way into the ocean. I don't want to have to float around in your trash. Fine. I think the maximum, he should get the maximum fine if he has gotten trouble before for living. Repeat offender. You know, he said his record is clean. you should get the lowest fine. Absolutely. Well, I don't know. He should definitely be fined. He did something wrong, but it shouldn't be the maximum. The cop was being a cowboy. Hey, Ryan, and I said $1,500 fine in 16 hours of community service is a lot, man. Like, that's pretty... Can I ask him if the cop said anything to him? Did he say, like... What did he say? The cop gave me some speech about, like, secondhand smoke and that, so... He was a super cowboy, but... He must have had someone pass away that he was close to from lung cancer. I've had three people close to me pass away from lung cancer. I'm not going to go tell somebody what they can and can't do. You smoke. This cop doesn't. There used to be a website, 1-800-NO-BUTTS, and you could call and report people who threw cigarettes out. I did it.
all the time. You are a tattletale. I would pull up next to him. I would look him in the phone and I'd give him the phone like, I am calling on you. You are a rat. There's a number for drunk driving. Drunk driving kills people. So does cigarettes. No, they don't. Not by throwing them out the window. You'd hit somebody in the eye. It's not going to burn your house down. People here, though, there have been crazy fires, Woods. Fine. The cigarettes now, if you leave them burning, they... go out on their own. They're self-extinguishing now. It's just crazy, man, because I think to myself, like, you tattletale. I guess this, like, so I guess what we should do is when we're driving down the road, we should see somebody flick a butt out the window, and we should be like, cool, no problem. Thank you. Yes, you go on with your day. You don't tattle on them. What are you, six years old? Maybe you don't. I don't. No! I don't, but at the same time, no, I don't do that, but what I am saying is when I see it, when I see people flick the cigarettes out their window, I'm like, Or anything out their window. It's like, dude, come on, man. Grow up. Sorry, Ryan. I still love you. I used to have a little, I went to having the thing where you would, they have these things, there's all plastic things that have a hole in the top. And so I would throw my cigarette in there and it would put itself out because it didn't have any air. Yeah. It was like a dust was made for. And it did, you know, it didn't smell great, but I.
Honestly, I couldn't get my head around the whole thing of like... You're the one that's choosing to make that smell. Smokers have rights too. They get treated like the worst of the worst. You see the rooms in the airports? They're like in the corner and the smoker has to look around in the dark. No, Vince just gave me a look like, oh my God. He's sanctioned off in that room. Well, Ryan... Ryan, I'm on your side. I say you fight it. I'll go with you. I mean, I feel bad for it. Let's fight it. I do too, man. I do feel bad for you, bro. I mean, dude, that's a 16-hour thing. That's the one that gets me. Dude, that's the thing. The 1,500 hurts. I mean, that hurts. I don't care. I don't know how much money you make. I know how much money I make. That's a lot of money to anyone. I would be like, hey, Dad, can I borrow 1,500 bucks? Because I'd have to be. Can you make installments, or does it start to go up? You can. Yeah, you can. You can make installments. The community service, though, bro. I've done community service. It's the worst. It's the worst. I'm scared of it. I'm a chubby white guy. Oh, you're not going to get hurt. I will tell you this. I'm going to tell you this from a lot of experience. Knock it out in two days. I was just going to say that. Two eight-hour days. I'm telling you, because if you drag it out, you're going to blow your head off. It's the worst. Here's my final thought before I run off. All I want, if I give them this money...
All I want. I'm really hoping Jerry Brown's M1. I'm sure he is. $1,500 and just fix like two or three potholes in Mission Valley. Absolutely. Fair enough. That's all I'm asking. That's fair. This is a good sport. Ryan, you're a good sport. We appreciate you, bro. Thanks for calling. Hey, you guys have a good morning. Thank you. Garrett, what's going on? I'm not giving Ryan a raise. That's right, Ryan. What's happening? Did you come in here? Oh. I got somebody who was trying to get a hold of you, and I'm just going to pass this on to you. But then I heard Ryan on there. I was laughing because, you know, Ryan. just started doing some stuff for us. He's a good dude. He sounds great. I feel bad for him, but you know what? As a guy whose family was evacuated in the last wildfires, I have very little sympathy for people who toss cigarettes out their car. It's close to home here. I get that it's close to home. Fires are caused by other things than cigarettes. Fair enough. Are we going to ban those? Dude, my issue doesn't have anything to do with fires. My issue doesn't have anything to do with that. I have one sole issue, and it's the whole, it isn't me, it's you. I should be able to do whatever I want.
Hey. You a fireworks fan? I have a huge fireworks fan. He lets them off responsibly. Yes, I do. Let them out for the water. I put my cigarettes out before I throw them out, so I'm also responsible. You're a litterer. Feast on that. We'll be back. Wow. We're back. Okay. Sorry. Trying to shovel down breakfast during the break. Just breakfast. Huh? Oh, boy. Nothing. Oh, boy. Wasn't me. Wasn't me. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Radiohead. Amnesiac. Ooh, good one. Good one. So there's a TV show on. And Lauren was talking about it in her recap. There's a TV show on called My Strange Addiction. I haven't seen it, but of course I will. Why? Because it's about people that have bizarre addictions. That's always going to be good.
Anyway, she, what? It was in Sienna's recap. Oh, it was in Sienna's. It wasn't in my recap. I was just telling you about it yesterday. Oh, yeah. It wasn't. There's a lot going on in Mike's head right now. I just didn't want you to start searching through mine because you weren't going to find it. Yeah. Yeah, My Strange Addiction. I think we have a clip of it, too. Anyway, this is one of the chicks that she's addicted to what? Yeah, I was just saying it's a new show on TLC and it's just these people have serious addictions. It's real and to the craziest things. Is this a commercial for the show? Is that what this is? It's like a long promo. It's like a preview. I watched a playlist of like 17 minutes worth of little sneak peeks yesterday because I got intrigued after Santa told me about it. Here we go. I suck my thumb pretty much everywhere I go. It kind of makes me feel important. We're in public. It's kind of weird. I just get very strange looks from people. My name is Samantha. I'm 20 years old and I'm addicted to tanning. How often are you tanning? 60 minutes a day. It's bad for you.
Yes! There's probably a difference between the occasional tanner and the addicted tanner. I'm going to hit the salon here in a little bit. It makes you look good. Oh, yeah. The actual place will restrict how many times you can go because they know for how long. So she goes around town to different places. Three different places, 20 minutes each. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that nuts? Did she look like Oompa Loompa? Like in terms of color? She's young now, but it's going to catch up with her. She was more brown than orange. I think that you get that orange glow from the spray tan when it's not quite mixed right. Yeah. But this is a real tan. It's just over the top. Yeah. Risk for skin cancer is astronomical. My name's Lori, and I am addicted to sleeping with my blow dryer. Saw that one. This one's crazy. The weirdest one. It's so weird. It's not the weirdest one. It's not the weirdest one. You think that it will be, but it's not. There's another one that blew my mind. Wait, Sienna. This is the first one I saw.
When she sleeps with a blow dryer, she sleeps with the blow dryer on? Now, she was about 10 years old or 13 or something like that. And her sister was blow drying her hair and she was sitting down and could feel the heat on her. And she was like, oh, that feels so good. And so she started turning on her blow dryer. At night. So the blow dryer would be lying next to her in bed and she had to have her hand a certain way just a few inches from the blow dryer so that she could feel the heat going directly on her thumb. And she was so addicted to it that it's been like 15 years of every single night sleeping with a blow dryer. And even she's married with a kid and her husband's like, imagine sharing a bed with a blow dryer that's on all night. And this woman has burns on one of her arms. From rolling over onto it and stuff like that. She said the blow dryer attacked her. Yeah. What I'm wondering is when you date that girl. Exactly. You don't take that into consideration. Right. Or you do and you go, I'm good.
Maybe they went the traditional way and they never laid together until marriage. Yeah, but don't you think that you would find out? Yeah, he would see the burns on her arm and be like, well, what happened? Well, wouldn't she tell you? I have something really weird. Not if she was embarrassed. She doesn't seem to be. She's like, if you want to cuddle with me, you're going to have to cuddle on the side with the blowjob. She's pretty cute, too. What? Yeah. Yeah, that one's not talking me into living together before marriage. Yeah, I mean, I guess because if you don't live together before marriage, you might end up marrying a girl that has to sleep with a blow dryer. That's true. My side of the bed where I'm cuddling with my blow dryer or else, you know, we won't cuddle at all. I had a really, really bad burn incident. It was just like, of course you did. The blow dryer had just attacked me that night. Up her arm. There's scars. Yep. Burn marks. Yeah. I bet the noise and the heat all together is just like, it's a perfect combo for her. A lot of babies like the blow dryer. Yeah. How come it doesn't start a fire in the bed? It doesn't. I mean, and I don't know. You just have to be careful, I guess. But it's plugged in. You know, there's an outlet right next to her bed. And it even showed her going to the store because she has to buy.
A ton of blow dryers because she'll blow circuits and they'll wear out and she has to get new ones. And it showed her like the selection, the process of how she selects which one is good. She's like, well, this one doesn't have enough wattage and this one doesn't have blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, my God. She's a pro. Do you remember what her like parameter, like what her fave was? She didn't say. She just said this one doesn't have enough wattage or if that's even the right word. This one doesn't have this. Oh, this one's a good one because it, you know, it will last longer. And I don't know. I'm so fascinated by human beings that that would. This one is not even the craziest one, in my opinion. And let me finish playing this. And then I want you to tell me what's your craziest one. Something I want from my daughter. As long as I'm using it, she's going to be partial to it. I've never been able to understand why she eats tissue, and I never will. Saw that one. Toilet paper. Toilet paper. She eats it. Her favorite is two-ply because you can rip it in half, and she likes the way it dissolves on her tongue. That's a double feast, too, because you rip it in half. She knows that she can eat up to half of one roll a day. Otherwise, she'll get stomach cramps and won't be able to go to the bathroom. How about...
Those Listerine strips, it dissolves on your tongue. Maybe you try it with the same texture. She likes the texture. I don't have a problem with that one, per se. It's so weird. I eat paper. Yeah, give me a napkin. I'll eat a napkin. I know, but do you eat paper? You're not addicted to it. I could, I have. You don't love it. Do you? I have. Do you? No, but I have. I know you have, but do you? No. Do you eat some kind of paper we don't know about? I eat everything. I'm like a goat. He ate a bat. A plastic bat. A plastic bat yesterday. I ate a burger through a wrapper. It just doesn't bother me. Is there anything that has to do with paper and eating paper we don't know about? I'll do this sitting around the house. See, this is a piece of paper. You did that? Yeah, and I'll eat styrofoam cups. He just ripped a piece of it with his teeth and ate it. Sometimes, or I'll spit it out sometimes. Whatever I'm feeling. I just got really nauseous. I chew everything I eat. Everything goes in my mouth. My jaw just dropped open. Oh, that's my wife. She's at work, but you can get on the phone and she'll be like, you can't keep anything around. He'll eat it. Yeah. Wow. You're like a dog. No, no, no. I'm a goat. A lion. When we say, by the way, that Woods will eat it, we don't mean that he'll just chew it up. Right. We mean that he chews it and eats it. He just got this pen this morning.
It's already, it's missing the clippy thing. The plastic here. The plastic here. The grip is gone. Here's the two. They look the same this morning. We've got the grip gone. We've got the little clippy that goes into your pocket gone. We've got the little thing that you push in is all chewed up to make it. Woods could be on the show, just I'm addicted to chewing on everything. I just eat everything. I'm a goat. He is a goat. There's shrapnel underneath his chair. A wiffle ball bat. Yeah. And he chewed the end of it completely off. I fought him with that bat, too. I fought him to stop eating it. Let me pay for the bat. I don't want to go get one. You say you go get one. A fresh dollar bill he pulled out. Jay, I'll leave this. No, no. You go get it. You go get it, pick it up, bring it in. Woods kept saying that yesterday. Woods kept going, it's a dollar, it's a dollar. And I thought to myself, well, first of all, you know. It probably isn't much more, but it's more than a dollar. Let me get. Probably not much more, but it's more than a dollar. The nightmare is going to get it. I'll go ahead and get two. You're out of your mind. Two dollars. Go get it. You go get it. You have to go. And bring us the receipt. Yeah, I want to see the price. Not now. Not now, you clown. I'll bring you some. I'm going to bring in 30 bats, and I can feast on some, and then we can use them for whatever else we use them for. Those two have gotten into almost sophisticated. Yeah, about the chewing of Jay's thing. Hey, y'all quit chewing on that damn bat.
I told you not to eat your toys. You're over there eating your damn bat. You're eating our bat. That's our bat. It's not even your bat. We need that for the studio. We need that for the batting machine. Quit eating the bat. So I have to tell you more about this woman, though. She said her favorite place to go is the movie theater because it's dark and no one can see that the thing that she's eating is, in fact, toilet paper. She doesn't get judged in the movie theater. Wouldn't she get not judged at home? In the bathroom? Yeah, but she wants to go out and live life and sit at a table and eat toilet paper. I want to be out and look at her. And the movie's great because most people are snacking on popcorn. I take a roll of Charmin. It showed her doing that. She likes to snack on it. I think she eats other meals for substance, but that's her favorite snack food. She had the same exact routine, like rip, rip, rip. And they all were the same exact size. She was a professional toilet paper ripper. Man, I know. They had pictures of her from the 80s, and there was tissue hanging out of her back pocket. That almost sounded like a joke. It's real. Like with a Michael Jackson glove. No. Her friend was like, for as long as I've known her, she's always been carrying around tissue, and she'd have it behind her back, sticking out of her pocket. Yep. Feasting on it. This is real, by the way. Not fake. No, I can't. Yes, I can't. If your intestines rupture. She's an African-American woman.
Yeah. See, now, the other day I said a white kid talking like a black kid and this guy got really mad at me. And he had a right to. What I should have said is a white kid talking like a black guy because he was talking like an adult black guy. Now, not all black guys have that affectation. However, this morning they were showing the guy that just got the golden radio voice guy that just got the job. Ted Williams. Ted Williams had just got the job with the Cleveland Cavaliers. When I looked at him, I thought, oh, he looks like Obama. And before I said that, I thought, uh-oh, I'm going to be called a racist. And then I thought, why am I going to be called a racist? He does look like Obama. You told me I look like Lindsay Lohan. Yeah. Now, if you point out... ...side of your abdomen, that could be fatal. The biggest secret that I can... She already passed. But if you point out that that lady sounded like a black lady, you get your... That's not racist, though. I don't think. Should we be talking about this, though? No, I'm scared. Let's just fast forward. I was molested. Maybe I felt dirty inside. Doing things like chewing on cleaner makes her feel alive. What? I didn't see that one. I saw the preview for it. I saw it. She takes what looks like a white, powdery substance. No. And she goes. Like Comet? Like Comet.
I can't think of the word. Ajax. Like Ajax. Oh, no. And she goes, and puts her tongue in it? No. Sometimes she licks her finger and then puts her finger in it. Like maybe if you used to do that with that, what was that? Cocaine. Dip stick. Cocaine is what it's called. Fun stick. And on the preview, it shows her going to the dentist. And the dentist says to her, because she's been eating this cleaner, they had to remove all of the teeth on the top. And she started crying. Because obviously she doesn't want all of her teeth out. She's been eating it for like 30 years. Oh my gosh. She was telling her daughter in the videos, who looks like she's 14 or 15, she's like, this is what mom's been doing. And she says, I know it's creepy, but this is what I've been doing. And her daughter didn't even know. That's what I'm saying. People have these, they're not proud of it. They have these, you know, I don't know. They're not proud of it. They're like embarrassed about it, but they do it. It's like me with McDonald's, you know? Same thing. I did feel like the one girl, it was a bit the thumb sucker. Did you? I don't know. You didn't feel like she was kind of putting it on. Playing it up. But I do also think that they sometimes tell, like the producers might tell the family members, like, now react to this as if you're reacting for the first time. And some of the family members are like, I cannot believe you are sucking your thumb. That's true, because it's like the obvious thing, you know. But yeah. You should really stop doing that.
Yesterday I recorded this whole series so that I can watch all of them. But one of them that I really want to see is a woman who's obsessed with doing ventriloquism. She has a dummy. This is no joke. EVW. Yeah. Okay. She said in the preview, I had to count how many words. She said, I have four words for you. Don't. Talk to me. Because she said, if you have a problem with it, I have four words for you. Or something like that. Because she's talking to people and she only talks through the dummy. Like in real life situations, she has the dummy. There's a new movie about that. There's a new movie about that. Remember I was playing you the preview and I said... It's called, like, Beaver or something. Oh, yeah. It's with Mel Gibson. Oh, yes. That's right. It is Beaver. The Beaver puppet. Yeah, and he talks through a Beaver puppet. You knew it was coming. You knew it was coming. Isn't it, though? Yeah, it's called Beaver. It's called Beaver. Something about a Beaver. Yeah. Nice Beaver. No, I don't think it's called Nice Beaver. I think it's just called Beaver. I think it's just called Beaver.
The Adventures of the Beaver. Maybe it's The Adventures of the Beaver. I don't remember. Justin Beaver. Justin Beaver. I think that was it. Do we have to take a break? Yes. We're way over. Eight minutes over. Hoyle is going to have your butt, pal. If Billy Joel were alive today, I feel like this is what he would do. He is alive today. What I meant was... I didn't even catch up on that. I was like, yes, sure. I meant if he were like, never mind. If he were starting his music career. Yes. You think he would sound like that? Yeah. Yeah? By the way, I'm getting shamed into a guy just changed the whole paradigm for me on the cigarette butts. He's a motorcycle rider and he's been hit with lit cigarettes while he's driving. I'm done. Really? You win. What are you going to do? I'm going to...
Get a big, giant cup, and I'm going to put my butts in it, and then I'm going to pour it out in my garbage can. Hey, dude, that thing that I used to have, it didn't stink because it trapped the smell. Really? Yeah. Was it like an ashtray? It was like a plastic ashtray that had this dome top on it with a tiny hole that was only big enough for the cigarette, and when you put it in there, it extinguished it because there was no oxygen, and you couldn't smell it. And you know, because they don't put ashtrays in cars anymore. Really. I mean, my car does not have an ashtray. planner's peanut tin, put the lid on it, the plastic tin, and you put like a tiny little slit. Put some sand in it? No, just a slit in the lid. And you can slide a cigarette in and that way it's not open. You have to have sand or wood burn through. Or water. Well, these things, man, that's what they're made for. Somebody will, I'm sure, email me about what they use in their ride. Listen, if I can be not a D about it, fine. I just like it the way that I've always done it. And it's really, for me, it's like cigarettes. It's a habit. Do you ever notice if you blow out a candle, it has that stink for a while? If you take one of those extinguishers or if you put the lid on it, it takes away the smoke exhaust stuff. So maybe in sand, in my car, in a can, it would work. Well, like Mike said, it takes the oxygen away from it. Very good. So if you have a thing, one of those cigarette receptacles, it'll take that. You know what I wish I would invent this? Is some kind of...
special underwear that would mask farts. That's a billion dollar idea because I'd buy one because that means I could fart in public. It would have to be something that like neutralizes. Check this out. Okay, honestly Woods, and I'm being completely serious. If they invented such a product and it actually worked, not only would I be okay with you farting, I would encourage it. On the air, you'd probably like it. I would think it was hysterical. What if you got it and it worked all the time and then one day it didn't work and you let one out? And you're like, oh God, oh God. That would make me mad. Mikey gets mad. He doesn't get mad. He's a pretty, he doesn't, he'll get upset or he'll be like, you could hurt his feelings. He gets mad. Yeah, but do you know what the mad is? Because you've asked me. Like, you've been laughing that I'm mad at your farting. And you're like, are you hurt, sad, or fearful? And I'll say, I am sad that now my air is going to stink. You have no choice. I have no choice. I'm sad.
And someone could have easily prevented it. Yes. And I'm hurt that you know that it's going to bother me yet. That's why I do it. You don't care. I care. You're also fearful that it might happen again. Listen, it doesn't mean the best part of my life every day is making me uncomfortable. Yes. It's true. It's the greatest thing in the world. I love to watch you squirm out of your skin. Almost everything else that you do, I'm okay with, though. When I say I'm okay with it, what I mean by that is, you can do all your little things that make me upset, and they do upset me. Don't get me wrong. But they don't stink. That's the thing. They don't stink. That one does the same thing. except it's got the added bonus of stinking. Back to the underwear, I would be a stockholder in it. It would be great. That would be so great. It would be awesome. Oh, yeah, and I'd encourage you to do it. I'd encourage your farting then. Okay. Hillary's like, what did I walk into? Hillary just walked in. Yeah, I'm not okay with Woods farting in front of me.
Oh, well, anywhere or in the studio? Hey, Mikey, there is one. In the studio, it is off limits. You can't do that. There is one. It's called Flat D Innovations. They use charcoal, and it's like a pad, and it just goes right in your underwear. What do they use? It's charcoal, and it fits in your underwear. It's a little tiny pad. Charcoal? Charcoal? It's called charcoal. Charcoal. Jay, we're messing with you. They call it the fart filter. You hear the silent. It neutralizes. Yeah, it smells like a charcoal briquette when you're done. It smells amazing. There's a little video that goes along with it. Oh, boy. Forward that to me. Maybe I'll get that for Woodsy. Really? Get one for Todd. Because the studio's like hermetically sealed. Exactly. And it's warm. But we're working. We're in a groove. Humidity level. It's the worst, Hillary. And sometimes you just don't know if it's, you know, you're like, I think I'll try to throw this one by you. Nope. Sometimes it doesn't work. You're sitting like two feet from L.O.B. Oh, I don't do it in a chair. I don't do it in a chair. He does it when we're in our meeting. spaced out. I don't do it here. Yes, you do. No, I do not. Not anymore. Not anymore. I never have. I never have done it. Not on the air. Not on the air in this vicinity. Oh, no, not while we're on the air. Once on the air by accident. You've done it sitting in that couch. You've done it sitting in the couch when we've had a meeting and, you know, we all get upset. And everyone freaks out. I don't freak out. Sienna doesn't. She likes it. No, Sienna thinks it's funny. She lets me cup them and throw them in her mouth. No, I don't. Which is really funny. Cup of cheese. I don't. Cup of cheese. Buttercup.
My husband is just as bad as wood, so it's like it's nothing new. Yeah, she's used to it. I don't like the noise, it's the smell. Boys will be boys. L.O.B. fakes that she can smell it when she can. I do not. She goes, oh, I smell it. I have a very keen sense of smell. And a very sophisticated palate. They kind of go hand in hand. That's true. If I could not smell them, I think they're funny. Yeah, farts equal funny, for sure. But it's the smell. The smell. They don't always smell. Oh, they do. Lastly, I yelled at Todd because he did, and it was so loud that I thought he would wake the baby. Oh, my God. I was like, babe, you're going to wake up. She's like, what am I supposed to do? Oh, my gosh. That bit kills me. What am I supposed to do? That's what I say. What am I supposed to do? Go to the bathroom. Really? That's an outrageous request. I know, Mike, you're right in the middle of a great idea.
I need to go to the lavatory to fart. You can hold it for a second. No, no, LLB. You can't. It's bad for you. I know friends that say they can't because they'll get prostate cancer. That's exactly right. Yes. That's unbelievable. It's exactly right. You'll get prostate cancer. Oh, gosh. Oh, my. Woods, you're a man of many things. Did I even give out the word of the day today? I didn't, right? I didn't. I never gave it out, bro. Yeah, you did. You did in the beginning of the show. Yeah, you did. No. You said, I'm going to take care of some business. Oh, yeah. 100%. But you didn't say it. I don't think I gave it out. You gave it out at six. At least I know that. You did. Because you go, I'm going to take care of some business. Word of the day is? Yeah, because I remember thinking it sounded like jail. Yeah. One of the first things you said was, yeah, yeah, that's true. Jail. Beef jerky. Hillary. Yes. What do you got coming up? So much good stuff. You know, have you guys listened to the new Matt and Kim record? One of our recommended albums for January. It is so fun and so good. I'm going to play something off it. I'm sort of crushing on both of them. Is that Lauren's boyfriend and Jay's wife? Yes. They have a band. They have a band. And a Casio. It's awesome. They played at the last street scene in 2009. Matt and Kim. And some Black Keys and Radiohead, Florence and the Machine. Cool. Beautiful. I guess I'll just take it to the house. Listen.
EBW. Eskimo Blue Water's been sitting in the corner of the entire show. I've been here since 3. You've been here since 3 a.m.? Yeah. Do you want me to come back tomorrow? Yeah, why don't you come back tomorrow? And we'll just have you come back tomorrow because you've been sitting here the whole show. I just wasn't able to get to you today. There's a lot going on. Yeah, there's a lot going on, but I'm sure I'll get to you tomorrow. Yeah, right on. Got to talk about charcoal underwear. That's right. It's more pressing things. More pressing things to get to. All right. Lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. Mikey shows up late.