The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/18/12

0:11We can't wait until 6. We're going to wait until 6, but Woods has some stuff for me that he knows is going to drop my jaw. And he hasn't told me yet, and so we will wait for it. That's my favorite thing to do is not tell you something and then watch your face. And you know this one's going to get me. Oh, my gosh, man. You're going to lose your mind. All right. Well, we will all find out together just after 6. We're on now from 5.30 to 9. So hopefully you dig that and maybe you're getting off work or maybe you're starting work. Maybe you're just waking up. But whatever. We're here for you. Hope you like it. Let's talk about what you want to talk about. Call us right now. 570-1949. It's whatever you want to talk about. I mean, I have some things that we can talk about. But sometimes it's nice to be a little bit loosey-goosey and just let you call in and say, Hey, what about this? What about that? What about this? Michael Corleone said this. Michael Corleone said that. And I said, yeah, sure. It's one of my favorite scenes in Godfather 2 Woods. I've only seen that movie one time. Even with my dad in it? Even with your dad in the movie, I've only seen it one time. And I tried to watch it when I was young. But the Italy parts, which I now love, I didn't like then. I was like, I need more action. It's so good. But now, I mean, I need to revisit it. I've seen the first one.

1:4230 times. It's so good. So I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woods is our sports guy and he's 36. L-O-B is our assistant producer. She's 31. Jay is our producer. He's 48. And Nicole is our phone screener. And she is 19 years old and we now have a microphone for her. Say hello, Nicole. Hello. Here she is. So you can call. Hopefully you're there, you're awake, and we can hear from you. Get up. And by the way, I'm going to keep her, I'll have that open because she laughs and I never get to hear her laugh. So I just got to know when to turn it off. When you're going to get phones, go like this. You can wave me and I'll know that you're going to get phones. Okay, well, you guys will remember that system. I hope so. That always works. What's always. Oh, boy. Here we go. Woods got Jay with that off the air yesterday, and Jay goes, we ain't on the air, Woods. I think he called me a butthole. I think he did. Remember when we were friends? Yeah. Remember when we were friends? I don't. Are you guys going together to the mountain this weekend? Yes, we are. Big Bear Mountain. Shaving his eyebrows off. I texted Jay last night, and I said, look, let's make a deal.

3:07No pranks this weekend. Let's go up. Let's have a good family time. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. No problem. What did you say, Jay? Oh, deal. Jay? What? I said, I don't want to wake up with one eyebrow shave. Are you sleeping in the same room or something? No, we're sleeping in the same house, though. I don't think it's door locks. Great. Wow. Gosh, darn it. Dude, I'm going to get a wet willy. You driving together? No. Teabag. You're not driving together? If you teabag me. I will stab you. Would it bother you if he teabagged you? I'm just asking. Just asking. I will stab him. You're going to wear me like a hat. What if you woke up and checked your email and he sent you a picture of his nuts on your forehead? What would you do, Woods? I mean, seriously. Seriously. I would mad cry. I would. You would mad cry. Yeah, I would. You'd be so mad. I would. You wouldn't laugh at all? Woods, gosh darn, I love you. I would mad cry. I do have a man crush on Woods because to admit that he would man cry over that is manly in and of itself. Yeah, I would. I'd be real, real mad. Would you wake him up right then and there and go, you know, like, because he's sleeping. Would you wake him up and be like, dude, that ain't funny. I would probably do a bucket of water.

4:29I'd already be in another state at that point. Oh, yeah. I would not be there. He would teabag and run. Yeah. Yeah. You got to get out. It'd be a drive-by bagging. Yeah. Yeah. It would be a drive-by bagging. My favorite kind. Yeah. Oh, wow. Lauren O'Brien, you do not have to deal with this because girls don't do stupid things like that to each other. We don't. That's a guy bit. Yeah. Girls do not think it's funny. Girls don't wake up to a photograph of one girl putting her breast on another girl's forehead. Which would be awesome. Yeah, it would be awesome. The dynamic that men have with pranks is one of my favorites. I read one recently that I laughed so hard. George Clooney did this to his buddy. What? He had a cat. George had a cat. And all these guys lived together in a house. Yeah. And so George went to the litter box and did a number two. In the litter box. A human, number two. Oh, my gosh. And the guy walked in and goes.

5:25Dude, something's wrong with the cat. What have you been feeding this cat? Oh, my gosh. And he said he let it go for forever. I thought that was so brilliantly funny. It's hysterical. That's too disgusting to be funny. It's really disgusting. That's guy humor. That is all guy humor. He's like, what the hell? Oh, no. Oh, man. What's he been into? It's funny. Speaking of celebrities. It looks like Lindsay Lohan. And I like this. Lindsay Lohan's doing better. Yeah. I like to hear that. I like a comeback story. You know, the judge, she's always got the same judge, Stephanie Sautner. Listen what she said to Lindsay yesterday. This made me actually go, good. Well, just keep doing what you're doing. And you appear to be doing it well. Probation officer is.

6:24has written a favorable report, and as has the Volunteer Center. Good. Do your stuff. Get out of trouble. Don't you guys love the... I like Redemption. Yeah. I love to hear people doing better and that they're doing stuff the right way now. This is really sad, but we reported on it yesterday. The 12-year-old kid that was killed by the 10-year-old kid. It's one of the sadder things I've read in such a long time. And we were talking about it yesterday morning and we were kind of wondering, well, what will happen? You know, will he stay in jail? Well, here's the one thing. He will not be tried as an adult. And the reason that he won't be tried as an adult is because you got to be 14 years old to be tried as an adult. But if he is convicted of a crime, he could be sentenced to time in a youth detention facility when he turns 18. And he would stay there until he turns 25. Wow. If convicted. Well, yeah. Wow. And at that age, he would have to be released because the juvenile court would lose its jurisdiction over him. Wow. You know, unfortunately, it doesn't look like, I mean, it's very hard to predict that he'll get any better. You know, with looking down the barrel of that. Yeah. You know, going to a place like that when he's 18 until he's 25. I mean, that's it. Yeah. Most of the time.

7:56You know, the parents in this situation, they spoke out. In fact, I think it's the cover of the UT today. But the parents of the kid that was killed, they spoke out and in a extraordinarily graceful move, said that they did not want the kid that killed their son to be looked at as some monster. I mean. If that doesn't, if that is just not the definition of, now, and they were sobbing, they were really upset and everything, but to have that kind of resolve and that kind of gracefulness, you know, forgiveness, I mean, and they're heartbroken. Yeah, of course, devastated. He's a cute kid, man, very cute kid. I think what they don't want is they do not want two kids. to have to be destroyed here. And if people in the media went on to just go after the family, that's what they think it would be. It's just so, so sad. It is the cover of the UT today. But here's what, the kid's name was Ryan. And here's what his mom said. Please don't make it out that this was a terrible human being.

9:29The kid that killed her son. Oh, man. I think that shows such cool character. I don't know if I could do it. I mean, neither. Wow. But anyway, very, very sad. And the kid was a sixth grader. Jeez. Just hurts your heart. Yeah, it does. Just hurts your heart. 5701949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. So much stuff happening in the news that we're going to be hitting on. We're going to be telling you about the latest with the cruise ship in Italy. The cruise ship that went aground. The cowardly captain. M1 Joshua is on the line from Spring Valley. What's up? Guys, how you doing? Good, man. What's going on? I just wanted to call in and let everybody know that I'm up and listening. What are you doing? What are you doing?

10:29Right now, I'm trying to hit my minimum caffeine level so I can function throughout the day. There you go. I usually post something on Facebook so you know somebody's listening, but I felt that I needed to call in today. Yeah. I felt it was important that you know that some of us are really getting up early just to listen to you guys. That's really cool. Yeah. That's encouraging. You're the one's calling. Yeah, you're the one's calling. Stole that line, by the way, from my friend Mike. Thank you, bro. You bet. Thank you very much. Woods, you don't drink coffee in the morning. Yeah, I do. One cup. You do? Yeah, I do one cup a day. How about you, LLB? I have two. I stopped counting. I have zero. If I could have 10, I'd have 10. I'd get weird after two. This broad on a bunch of coffee, holy smokes, it's the greatest. I get really weird. She gets real skittish and loopy. I like her better on cinnamon roll. Yes. Her on a cinnamon roll, watch out. Yeah. That's a big crash after that. Yeah. Well, the great thing is with L.O.B. when she has a cinnamon roll is it's a combination of happy and loopy. Yes.

11:44So that's always good. I don't have big doses of sugar very often, but when I do, it's a party. Yes, it is. I do have big doses of sugar often. Maybe that's why it doesn't affect me. It doesn't do anything to me. Neither does caffeine. Woods told me to watch the movie Moneyball, and I want L.O.B. to watch it so we can get her take on it. You'll love it. I think it should be up for some sort of Academy Award. Is it? I know it's up for... It was up for Golden Globes, but it didn't win any, which is unfortunate. But I have gotten a lot of feedback from female listeners that said they rented it because I talked so favorably about it, and they all, to a woman, loved it. Yeah. It's a good movie. It is. Even Jay likes it. Yeah. And Jay doesn't have a... Heart, you know. Right. Jay has a lump of coal. A lump of coal for a heart. And black blood. Just for you guys. Yes. I'll consider it when it's free. That's a true fact. That's true. Let's see. M1 Time from Mission Beach. You there? Yeah. What's going on? Not too much. I just wanted to call in. So, B, last night our show was great. Oh, you were there. Oh, yeah. Love the downward facing dog. Oh, who doesn't? You got it. Yeah.

12:57LMB, where'd you play? At the belly up. Look at you. Gosh darn. This girl is a superstar. I brought the, I hadn't done that joke in like six months. My downward facing dog. Yeah. Brought it back for the belly up for old time's sakes. This girl. Is it the dirt? It's got to be dirty. It's not that dirty. Isn't? It wasn't too bad. I love the tutu bit. I was hoping to see a little bit of the burlesque show. Ah, yes. She does some pretty wacky stuff. Yeah. She's a stand-up comic. I walked out in a tutu. You did? Yes. I saw the video of that. She's a badass, dude. That's awesome. It was Meryl from the belly up. It was her idea. Because we had done a video of us wearing tutus, so we walked out in tutus. You guys were spazes in there. Yeah, then I took the tutu off on stage, and I think people thought I was going to, like, pull a rabbit out of my butt or something. Everyone was, like, waiting. I'm like, no, I'm just taking the tutu off. It wouldn't be the first time. She is a crazy girl. We find out more about L.O.B. as time goes by because she'll just release these little facts about her that we didn't know. Little tasty nuggets. Yes.

14:04With barbecue sauce. Yeah. Honey mustard. One of our M1s is writing another book. He writes books for like sixth grade age kids, like goosebumps type books. And he was asking me some questions. He's going to write a... a story about the four of us as kids, us members of the Mikey show. And he wanted some info, background info on my character. That's awesome. So by asking me stuff that I did when I was a kid and I was like, oh yeah. I started remembering all this stuff. Nice goodness. Just burning stuff real good. I was like, oh yeah, yeah. I bet the Mikey show people would like that. Speaking of the Mikey show people liking something, a little bit later, we are going to post our Old headshots. Oh, boy. Now, Woods doesn't have any because his history has been in sales. Yeah, well. But L.O.B. was trying to be an actress. And me and radio and Jay and radio, we have old headshots. And they're embarrassing. Very. Jay's. Oh, gosh. Brace yourselves. Pure gold. See it, Nicole?

15:15Did you see it? Yeah, they're a little ridiculous. Minus the little. Minus the little. Oh, gosh. I couldn't believe it. Oh, my gosh, Jay. What are you going to do? I have two words for you. Corey Feldman. Yes. One picture is just better than the next. Yeah. I can't decide which one I like the best. It was the 80s. What are you going to say? Oh, my gosh. He can never make fun of us again. It looks like the early 90s. Well, it was both. Mike, he cannot make fun of us anymore. No. Sure. You're a dork. Hey, I'm proud of him. I'm proud of him. One of them I said, now, was this before or after you married Kim? Was it? Oh, these were all during Kim. So she loved me through this stage. So you guys weren't married yet or you were married? We were married. Yes, we were married. Wow. That's shocking. Married with children. You should be single. Yeah. You should be single. I already had her trapped. I looked at it and I said, did he draw his own shirt?

16:13That shirt is hideous. Was that yours? I held on to it for a while, too, because that's two different photo sessions, like, years apart, because you could tell the hair's short in one and the hair's real long in a ponytail. Yeah, he wore the same one. He thought from the first one, hey, this shirt's so badass, I'm going to wear it for the next one. I'm bringing it back. It was a badass shirt. That shirt sucked. That shirt was badass for that time period. It looks like he has a bolo tie on. Oh, my God. They're the worst. And I don't believe that that was badass. No. I'll bet that Woods, if you had known Woods during that time, Woods would have been like, dude, that is a dorky shirt. You're dorky. I wasn't wearing white pants and that guy. Hey, everybody. I was the underground club guy. Underground club guy. Yeah. Underground. That's who I was. I love how he tries to paint himself as some sort of a comic book hero. Right. I was underground club guy. I was. That's what I was doing. He's got like a Navajo print.

17:14button-down shirt. We were throwing raves in warehouses they didn't know we were even in. You were above-ground pool guy. Yeah, exactly. I was probably that guy as well. I was definitely that guy as well, too. You're the 24-pack of natural light guy at the party. I have no room to talk, by the way. Really? No. I haven't seen yours. Yeah, mine, I'm wearing jorts. Are those for moms? Jeans shorts. And one of them, you'll look at it and go, nice fupa. You look like Charlie Weiss. Yeah, nice Charlie Weiss picture. I can't wait. I don't have any. I'm not Hollywood, so I don't have any. You worked in sales. Yeah, but I've been in radio two years. I don't have any. Yeah, that's because we haven't commissioned. Yeah, you do. I don't have headshots. Yes, you do. I don't. What do you call the picture that you have on the Nike show page? That's a photo. Not to be confused with a headshot, a photo. Why would we ever have thought that a headshot is a photo? Because a headshot is used to go get a gig. I have a gig. Those are pictures of our cast. They're not always used. You're out of your mind. By definition.

18:30You have a head shot. I have a photograph that was taken of me. Of your head. Because I'm on this cap. By a professional photographer. That's what mine was. That's what a head shot is, pal. Weren't you trying to get a gig? No. No. Weren't you? No, you got them when you had the gig. Trade magazines wanted pictures of you. You would hand them out a gig. You would sign autographs on them. That kind of thing. Well, then I guess I do have a head shot. Yes, you do. Well, it's the same one everybody's already seen. Yes. Yeah, well, 15 years. Is it at all embarrassing to you, I mean, even in the slightest, that you didn't know that you had a headshot? I mean, is that embarrassing to you? No, no, no. It doesn't embarrass you that you, in fact, were making fun of us for something that you, in fact, have. Well, it's something that I had to do. I didn't have a choice. Same bit, Woods. The radio station. You had to do it? Yes, the radio station paid for it. See. Had us do it so that we can sign autographs. The entire staff did it. Gotcha. Yeah, mine weren't that. Yeah, LLB's was trying to get a gig. Yeah. And I walked into this guy's place. And I think Jay's was too. I think he was trying to be an actor. You're out of your mind. No. It was for the station. It was for the radio station I worked for. I was for Promotions Director of the Year. An award. Easy self-cluster. And I had to send a nice photo in.

19:49And then I also had to send them in for, like, you know, if people wanted them. Why'd you have to slip that little accolade in? Yeah, because that's what it was. I wasn't trying to get a gig. I was already well-employed. Oh, man, did I say that? I thought I was thinking it. I said it out loud? I said it out loud that I was up for promotion. I was up for love-making husband of a year. Oh, man. That of the year. Father of the year. Several years in a row. Yeah, he'll work it in. He could be giving a eulogy, and he'd go, dearly beloved, we... We miss John so much. And, man, I'll never forget the time that he commented on my chest. And he used to make me laugh. He said, Jay, sometime. He said to me, Jay. I can't see too well. Is that Lou Ferrigno over there? He was funny. He was funny. Not, of course, as funny as me. Funny just the same. Man, I remember the time that he and I were such pranksters together. I remember the time we were both at the urinal. And he said, boy, that water is very cold. And I said, yeah.

21:05And it's deep, too. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway. I remember when I started Jay's School of Comedy. Why? Why? Jay's School of Comedy. Get your hard knock laughs here. You guys are clowns. You're the clowns. Why do you see these freaking pictures? Such a clown. Wait. Just wait. Like M1s, they don't know what's going to hit them. In fact, I'm going to save his for the last ones we post. Definitely. We'll save Jay's for the last ones we post. I think LOBs are the least embarrassing because she's good looking. She looks good. Excuse me, I have a wig on in one of them. And glasses with no lenses. True statement.

21:59There's no lenses? There's no lenses. Wait, it's just a frame? Yes. Okay, that's awesome. That's awesome. Holy cow. That's awesome. That's awesome. I take it back. That's awesome. Incredible. All right, don't go away. We got so much stuff to tell you about. Woods has something to tell all of us about the Chargers that he says is shocking and will drop my jaw. And he's going to tell us live on the air. Hang on. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Are we there yet? Not yet. You think we'll be there soon? Mm-hmm. When you head out on these long family road trips, you don't want to be in the car any longer than you need to. So I don't even start unless I've got the right guidance. Turn out. I'm like that with Texas, too. TurboTax has a unique GPS feature that guides me step by step.

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29:51Well, you've got an accident here on the 8 eastbound right before Greenfield Drive and then some slowing on the 905 eastbound. Corporate center drive to about the 125 north. You're at a solid 37 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calorie menu. Great tasty meals starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. Come in and try one today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. GIF. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. Hi. Welcome to The Mikey Show. Call us if you want to. 570-1949 is our number. And you can text us, too. 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41. Woods is 36. He is our sports guy who has a very big Chargers story to tell us in a second that he purposefully did not tell me. He's going to tell us all on the air in just a couple minutes. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B, is the blonde to my right.

31:34Jay is our producer. He's 48. Nicole's our phone screener. She is 19 years of age. And if you call us, you will talk to Nicole. Now, here's the job of an M1. When you call in, turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. And you're always making new M1s. You're spreading the word. Okay, Woods. Right before you do. I want to let people know the word of the day is astronomy, and that's good for Supercross tickets. Caller 9. When you hear me weave the word astronomy into a sentence, that's when you know to call and be caller 9. I will say that word sometime between now and 9, and when I do, call us. Okay, Woods, what do you got? Sharice Wright is a seldom-used cornerback. For the San Diego Chargers, also a former USC Trojan. He was a rookie, made four tackles last year. He's sitting at home and he's watching a Laker game. And he writes, he gets on Twitter, another athlete in trouble on Twitter. Ready for this? Yes. Downtown LA looking nice. Wait till that football stadium gets built. Hashtag Los Angeles Chargers. Reaction was instant and hostile from fans that follow him.

32:54People are juiced in Twitter right now. Chill out, people. It's only Twitter. Don't be mad at me. It's not my fault there's a chance the Chargers can move to L.A. What? Whose fault is it? Nothing personal, people. I love San Diego. No more blackout games in San Diego. We'll stay in San Diego. Hashtag how I feel. No more six. And somebody writes him. This guy, Joe King, who is my hero, writes, hey, no more six game losing streaks and we have a deal. Wow. Then he writes back. Oh, so they only support you when you win, but I'm the bad guy. Who is this? Sharice, he does what? He's a cornerback. I don't even know who that is. Four tackles last year. And this guy is running mouth on Twitter. So he writes, look, I'm just trying to get people's attention. And people are writing him, hey, you got to be on the field to get attention. This guy saying that. The Chargers will move to L.A. The L.A. Chargers. Oh, my gosh. It's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen on Twitter. Now, here's my, is it cut-worthy? Is it, like, fine-worthy? Is it, well, what does A.J. Smith do with this? Yesterday, from the team, the Chargers' official Twitter account, it said,

34:17He's a young guy and didn't mean to make an issue. We, the team, want to stay in San Diego. Oh, my gosh. Moron. Like king moron. Just don't do that. Yeah, because the issue is a very... It's touchy. Oh, it's a touchy issue. However, I agree with what he said. Oh, wow. What part? Hey, no blackout games. You don't have to worry about whether or not we're staying here. Oh. I agree. Yeah. You're not going to go to the game. It touched people. It was like getting a, you have a hole in your arm. Yeah. And somebody walks up and sticks their finger in that hole and starts moving it around and touching the bone. First they poured salt in it. Yeah. And then margarita mix. Yeah. Yeah. I think you support your team regardless. Yeah. There's probably only a couple hundred people that got upset because. Well, he doesn't have a lot of followers, but people, look, you don't know the difference between, you don't know.

35:16Difference between San Diego and L.A., do you? Hashtag you suck from somebody. Wow, dude, you lost some fans with that. Tweeting on our worst fear. Shame on you. And somebody, are you sure you'll even be a Charger next season? You should be grateful because the Chargers even drafted you. We're not the L.A. Chargers. Bolt up. Cherise Wright, now my least favorite Charger. These are all tweets from people that follow him in San Diego. Did he respond to any of that? Some of them, you know, some of them. Basically, his deal is, hey, look. And then he went with the, I am joking. My bad. Just wanted to see everybody cared that much. And then he says, I guess it's safe to say that people care. Think he was drunk? Maybe. You'd have to be, wouldn't you? I think so. You'd have to be. It's one of those regrets. You're like, damn. Damn it, what did I do? I made a deal with myself. Don't drink and tweet. I actually feel bad for him. Me too. Because that's a can't get out of your own way deal. I bet he feels. If, in fact, he'd had a couple of brews. Yeah. Oh, I bet he feels terrible today. Just like, oh, the reality of what's about to hit you. The worst part is, is that he did the one. You know, downtown LA is looking nice. Wait till that football stadium gets built. Hashtag Los Angeles Chargers. That's the one that kind of sticks. But then to go back and say, hey, don't be mad at me. It ain't my fault. Oh, my gosh. He's right.

36:44Yeah, L.O.B., but you don't think that's a cool thing to do. No, I don't think that that's cool. Somebody said, how dare you? I actually don't even think they'd have much more success in L.A. I don't think L.A. is a football team. Forget that. How many times with L.A.? What about this guy? That guy, it was stupid. Yeah. It was stupid. But it's more than that. It's maybe one of the most monumental. When you take it all, when you look at it in context. who he is, what he said, that issue and the polarity of that issue here in town, how polarizing it is, and how energized it is, how passionate people feel about it, how it would absolutely, it would really hurt a lot of people that do go to the games, that do have season tickets, that do support the Chargers, and people that don't. For a player,

37:46on the team to come out and say something like that. He has removed his Twitter account. M1 San Diego from San Diego. Are you there? Good morning, Mike. How are you guys? We're good, man. What's up? Hey, you know, he's being truthful and everybody's getting on him. Yeah, I feel the same way. You know, if you guys would go to games or, you know, you only love the Chargers when you're winning. And I've seen that all over San Diego growing up here. Well, wait a minute. Now, are you saying that you're cool with what he said then? Yeah, you guys probably are going to L.A. Okay. Then that means that you're cool with what he said. Yeah. Well, you're not a Charger fan. Are you a Raider fan? Yes. Okay. Now, how would you feel if some second string... Third string. Third string, you know, dude in your secondary said something like that about the Raiders if there was talk of them going? Would you... I know you have, but don't distract. What would you think of it? Would you think that guy was douchey? Tough question. Not really. It's really not a tough question. It's not tough. Because you know damn well it's douchey. It's douchey. He may be right. Look, he may be right, and sometimes it hurts more when they're right. Right. But you're getting off subject. Nobody is saying, hey, listen, the point here isn't, you liar. Right. Right. That's not the point. That's not the point. The point is.

39:15Are you crazy? Yeah. Are you on your mind? I mean, it would be as if there were a controversy about... It would be as if there were a controversy regarding something and someone goes on Twitter and addresses that controversy and they have no place addressing it. Right. Now, I understand that. Now, if Al Davis was around, you're right. That guy would have been gone. Gone. Today. Yeah, yesterday. Yeah, Al Davis would have done that. Yeah. So whether or not what he said is true, it's not even a point. It's still a douche move. It's not even a point. It's not his place. It's not his place. Listen, I'm open to hear somebody out. My opinion is that that's not the point. But I'm open to the conversation. It's not a professional. It's not a very professional move. Now, he's not that high profile. If he were really high profile, I would say that's like a monumental mistake. Okay, I got it. I got it. Let's say that there was some rumor flying around that FM 949 is going to change format to a country station. Okay?

40:37And it's out there and like people are going, I don't want that. I love FM 94.9. I don't want them to change to a country station. And some part time person that works on the weekend that isn't even a DJ during the regular hours goes on Twitter and says, get ready for it. Country 94.9 on the way. It affects the people that work here. It affects fans of the radio station. So whether or not what he's like, let's say the station really was going to become a country station. That's not the point at that point. There's a lot of whispering going on about whether or not we were going to become a country station. Then I would call to action. All right, management, let us know then. Appease our fears. It's not your place. I mean, I wouldn't do it. And you don't think it's okay to do it. I think that the part-timer. probably is not that attached to his job, so maybe this Chargers guy wants to be off the team. I bet you Jay's right. Yeah. I bet the guy had a couple of cocktails. Yeah, you know, he'd start talking all big and crazy. I tell you, if he worked for me, though, bam, shoot him right in the head. The next day? Oh, that night. Yeah. He'd be dead man walking. You're done, man. You just violated your teammates by doing that. Even though I agreed with him, I would still shoot him. M1 Drew from Mira Mesa. Hey, show. How y'all doing? Good, man. What's up?

42:02What I wanted to say was, yeah, coming from a man that's not really high profile, he really shouldn't be saying that, but he does have a... He does. Yeah, but maybe there... Does that make it okay? No, it does not make it okay. It doesn't make it okay to say no, and especially when you're in a very sensitive area. You know, a lot of people do get... mad and frustrated when he talked to going to L.A. Listen, if A.J. Smith had tweeted that, it would have been out of line. That's sideways if Norv Turner tweets it, let alone a third-string cornerback. But there is a difference between fans from L.A. and San Diego. You know how San Diego is a Marine-based city. There's a lot of people that come and go from this area, and there's not a lot of solid fans out here. that's what the problem is. You go to a lot of these Chargers. Yeah, but what does that have to do with what he did? Yeah, but L.A., dude, I mean, how many times are you going to try football in L.A.? How many times? How many of those players are actually frustrated with having to come out into San Diego, look around the stadium? Maybe all of them. Like Lambeau. Let's say the answer to that is every single one of them. If Phillip Rivers tweets that, it's sideways. Yeah, man. People go, what's your problem? If he tweets it, people are like,

43:21I mean, you have to address it. Oh, yeah. This guy's just a clown that's, like, fed up. You know, he's fed up of probably getting, like, S talking from people about, like, oh, you guys don't win. Like, hey, well, maybe we need that 13th man on the field. I will say this, and I mean this honestly. I'm shocked that he had followers that were Charger fans. Like, how do you even know to find the guy? I've been to games, and I've never even heard of Sharice right now. Yeah. Maybe that was it. Maybe he wanted to put himself on the map. Yeah, he put himself on the map. Any press is good press. Any press is good press. There you go. It's been his five minutes of fame. Yeah. Hey, Drew, thanks for the call, man. All right, y'all. Take care. All right, man. Boy, we know Sharice right now, don't we? Yeah, that's true. That's what I'm saying. He probably didn't care enough to care if he gets cut or not. Yeah. He just wanted his name. Yeah. So on this day in history, on this day 37 years ago, in 1975, this became a number one hit. And it was the first number one hit for this man. And I defy you to get this song out of your head today. Our phone screener, Nicole, is looking at us and she's a little bit confused. She's 19 years old. Nicole, do you know who this is? No, I have no idea who this is. Do you know what the song is?

45:03No. That made me feel like a great-great-grandfather. You can just let this run and I'd be totally fine with it. Mandy. Mandy. First number one hit. I heard it was about his dog, but that may be an urban myth. Well, I saw... The only reason I know this song is... What's an urban myth? An urban myth. An urban legend. Why don't you feast? Sorry. It was in the movie Can't Hardly Wait. Yeah, it was. It was? Yeah. 37 years ago. 22 years ago today, in 1990, Marion Barry was arrested in D.C. and charged with possession of cocaine. Crack cocaine. Crack cocaine. He loved it. Oh, he loved it so much. Ella B., how old were you in 1990? Ten. Oh, my gosh. Or nine. Yeah, depending on when.

46:07I reported on it on the radio, and you were nine. Nicole wasn't born yet. Nope. Holy cow. Who's Marion Barry? Yeah. Yeah. He was the former mayor of D.C. Guy got reelected after that. Yeah. Mind you. Well, you know. Yeah. They don't mind it in D.C. No. Yeah. Care. Man of the people. I like a comeback story, though. I like a comeback story. Let's see. Oh, the fire that we reported on yesterday. Yes. Remember we were saying that Alice Burney Elementary School, it was arson. Wow. It turns out that it was arson. And it was the sixth one. It was the sixth one in less than a month. Oh, wow. I know. Kid trying to get out of a test? No. Just make up the name of the school to make it sound more like fire? No. No. I was Bernie. Bernie. Come on. You know, LLB. Sometimes elementary school arson. Hey, you made the joke first, all right? This isn't funny. It was just following suit. Here are the other suspicious fires in the last month in University Heights. The Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall was struck on Adams Avenue three times. That's a hate crime. An apartment complex.

47:34on Campus Avenue near Madison Avenue and a Cleveland Avenue apartment complex where three cars were set on fire. Firefighters are estimating property damage at $1.2 million. I wonder if they're thinking it's just the same person. It sounds like it. Just a freaking drain on our economy real good. Serial arsonist. Perfect. People be crazy. Yep. Let's see. Oh, now here's the latest on the cruise ship, right? and the cowardly captain. Nobody's calling him that but me. You're really trying to make it stick. I noticed a couple times this morning. I'm really trying to go. You really want to stay. You want CNN to pick it up and run with it. Yeah, and run with it. Absolutely. The AP. He only had a heart. Yeah. Put him up. Let me off this bone. Suck it down. Oh, that was something else. Yeah, I think that was Sylvester the cat. It was, it was. Just do it. They kind of sound funny. What's up? Where's the beef? Anyway, so this guy apparently, as the Coast Guard pulled up to the cruise ship as it was sinking, they were yelling at him, you go on board. Yeah. They were yelling at him because he was sitting in a life raft. The captain, the cowardly captain.

49:12Tot mom. The cowardly captain was sitting in a life raft and they said, you get on board. Is that clear? Do you hear me? And he didn't. Holy cow. They also said, don't make any more excuses because apparently he was saying something that, you know, why he couldn't get back on it. I hurt my knee. I was, I had this conversation with our old pal Mal Hall last night. Comedian. Yes. And he was like, well. Would you go down with the ship? Is it a little bit of a self-preservation thing? Is the guy expected to die? Well, it's like this. As a flight attendant, when a plane is going down, you're not allowed to scream for your life and freak out. More like it's so chaotic and sort of flight or fight. Yeah. But that's what that's your job. Yeah. But it's in the job description with your life than like keeping your job. Well, here's the deal. They say that you can't. And many flight or something. Yeah. Flight attendants don't. Flight attendants don't do that. In fact, we talked to a couple of flight attendants. Right. That when that same situation happened.

50:28They were helping people off of the airplane. You're responsible for those people's lives. So you have to make sure that it's all out. And you're reporting back to the Coast Guard. They were saying there's people dead. And he's like, oh, there are how many? He's like, well, you're supposed to be telling us. This is what you're supposed to be telling us. And as a captain, if your ship goes down, you're allowed to live. But you have to make sure that things are... Yes. Progressing and getting people. You don't have to die with the ship. Right. But it helps. Right. But it helps. I guess it's different when you're sitting in a boat refusing to go somewhere. But I guess my only thing was like, stuff just starts getting crazy and you're like, what? Yeah, you jump on a light boat. You jump to save your life. Hey, listen. This is as crazy as it gets. Yeah. The boat tipped over to its side and was sinking. It's as crazy as it gets. But as the... as the captain. I just wonder how much of your human instinct as opposed to like your trained captain-ness. Well, apparently for this guy, his humanness kicked in. Yeah. And he was like, hey lady, get out of the way. It was like me when I went to see Taylor Swift and she was coming down the row and I wanted to get a good picture.

51:40push my wife out of the way so I can get a good picture of Taylor Swift. And get close to her. And smell her. Yes. You love smelling people. You love to smell people. Well, I wanted to see what kind of perfume she was wearing. And I'd take umbrage a little bit with you saying, you know, quote, you love to smell people. Well, women. Women. Yeah. Women. Not people. Not people so much. Ladies. What is that? Yeah, that's not true. Is that a white diamond? Oh, that's Clinique Happy. I love that. You're really something else, Woods. He's saying it, too. What about him? Deviant, Mike. You're a perfume deviant. You are a deviant. How dare you, people? After the NFC Championship game between the Niners and the Giants this weekend, American Idol's going to have all the people from San Diego. They did it on the USS Midway. And so if you want to see all the San Diego people, it's going to be on after the NFC championship game. There's a smoke bomb thrown over the White House fence last night. The president wasn't in there because him and his wife were out to dinner for her birthday. So they weren't even at the White House when it happened. But they came back and were like, what the hell is going on here? That's all the commotion about it.

53:14Apparently, Rosie O'Donnell is, I don't know why she doesn't like gay people. Man, she just is putting down gay people. Really? Well, we could make it into that if we wanted to, but you'll hear the clip for yourself. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Ella B. And your old pal, Woodsy, for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I was actually in the shower this morning at L.A.B. and I was looking out the window and I was thinking to myself, I'm really tired and I'm dragging this morning.

53:56But you know what I don't have to do? Put in freaking contacts to come to work because I've got LASIK surgery. I've got 2015 vision. What kind of vision do you have? Oh, I'm looking at 2015 as well, my friend. You know what that is? It's better than perfect. They call that J. They call that J. Yeah. You're J. You're better than perfect. Yes. If you want J vision, you need to go to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. All you got to do is give them a call today. 8-5-8-4-5-2-3-9-3-7. And what you do is you set up a free consultation. They're going to look at your eyes, make sure you're a good candidate. And then they book you for surgery. How long does surgery take? Oh, about 15 minutes. Yeah, and it's a snap. It's a piece of cake. It's the best decision you'll ever make. That's right, man. If you don't believe us, go in there and talk to them. 8-5-8-4-5-2-3-9-3-7. Or check them out online at www.clearvieweyes.com. This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today. Chase brings the bank to your business with a quick deposit check scanner. Deposit checks into your Chase business checking account at any time without having to leave the office, which speeds up cash flow and gives you more time to get everything else done. Whether that's talking to suppliers. Hello? Finishing reports.

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58:11Stater Brothers, where you always get more for less. Hey guys, it's Woodsy and I am so happy to be back working with my friends at NutriShop. If you didn't know, I was working with them last year. I broke my ankle. I had to stop going to the gym. So what happened? I put on a few extra pounds like we all have. But it's the new year. It's 2012. It's time to get back in the gym. And if you want to lose weight, flatten your midsection or improve muscle tone. all three of which I desperately need to do, get to NutriShop. There's two locations. There's one in Mission Valley and one in Eastlake. They carry all of the latest cutting-edge nutritional supplements at the guaranteed lowest prices. If you stop in before January 31st, you will get 25% off of your next purchase on all non-sale items. Start this new year off right with NutriShop. Start getting results today. Go in there and talk to these guys, man. They'll do a customized meal plan for you. The pricing is phenomenal. Check them out at NutriShopUSA.com. Hey, guys. This is L.O.B., and I want to talk to you about great hair and how to get it, and who better to ask than my old pal, Woodsy. That's right. It's your old pal, Woodsy, and I got to tell you, my wife, Jamie, was using Ovation for a long time, and then I picked it up, and I started using it, and now I'm in love with it. What do you like about it? I love the way it smells. I love the way my hair looks now, and I love the way that it feels now.

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1:02:11At Albertson Savon, we welcome Express Script prescription drug card holders and many other plans. It's easy to transfer your prescription and have it filled while you shop, making our pharmacy your pharmacy. So come in and stay healthy at Albertson Savon. This report, it's brought to you by San Diego County Credit Union. Get 5% cash back on your purchases through February 1st with the SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa. Apply for your SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa online now at SDCCU.com. Well, it looks like as you travel this morning on to the 805 southbound at the 54 east, we've got some material in the middle of the road. Looks like people are swerving to avoid it. Also, on the 8 west to the 15 north connector, there's an accident there delaying things. And as you come into El Cajon on the 54 southbound, the 8 connector, that's slow about 22 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Allstate. Let an Allstate agent make your life easier by bundling your policies. They'll help you do the switching and paperwork. Find an Allstate agent right near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

1:03:43I lost a bet, and I have to wear, and I have a shaved head, and I have to wear a bad toupee to lunch. It's bad, too. It's bad. Oh, it's so good, though. I have to take Woods and L.O.B. and Jay to lunch. I'm going to eat and eat. I'm thinking about the surf and turf. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I know I'm going to definitely get a piece of cheesecake. Weird. Oh, yeah. I'm going to nibble on it for a week, though. You're going to get a cake. I'm going to get a cake cake. Cheesecake. An entire cheesecake. You people. We need the M1s to show up in droves. Oh, gosh. What time, guys? About 11.15? 11.15. 11.15? Yeah. I thought it just said 11. Oh, about 11.15, because we'll leave here at 11, because we have a meeting. Oh. So about 11.15. Maybe we, okay. 11.15. Gives us some time to get over there and get seated. Fine. Everybody come out, take pictures, come say hi. You're welcome. You're welcome. It's time to call in, and I'll give you this Rosie O'Donnell thing here in just a second.

1:04:45It's time for you to call in and pick either Team Mikey and Woods or Team L-O-B-N-J for catchphrase. Yeah. You got to pick one of us. And what's the prize that they can win, Jay? It is a $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. Dave & Buster's, eat, play, drink. Why? It was perfect. That was perfect. It was. Okay, so Rosie O'Donnell was on Piers Morgan tonight, and he was asking her about all the people in Hollywood that are gay and haven't come out. There are still a lot of big stars who are in the closet, and everybody knows that. Why do you feel there's still this fear of being open about sexuality in modern America? I don't know. I think that there aren't any, a lot of people have said to me, oh, you know so-and-so, you know so-and-so, are they gay? I personally don't know a star who I have come to know and be, you know, intimately friendly with in my life who is living a false reality. I don't. I really don't. I don't. I'm surprised by that. Well, people say to me all the time, Tom Cruise is gay. I've been around Tom Cruise a lot. Tom Cruise drives race cars. Tom Cruise is... I do not think Tom Cruise is gay. Gay guys can't drive race cars? I thought Tom Cruise is gay. Can't be gay and drive a race car? Listen, what he does for fun, who he is in his life, is not to me. I just... Don't... Don't just ignore the question. Just ask you the question again. I'm going to ask you again. You just said...

1:06:15that Tom Cruise is not gay because he drives a race car. So are you saying to me that a gay guy can't drive a race car? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you mean? No, no, I was saying the things that he does. I know what you were saying. What he does. I know exactly what you were saying. You're putting down gay men. No, he's funny. They can't drive race cars. He's funny. Funny how? Funny ha-ha? Funny like he amuses me. Funny like a clown? He's like a clown. Wow. If people wanted to, they could jump all over. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. She is a lesbian, correct? Yes. So, shouldn't she know better than to pissing old people? And you know what I want to go on record as saying? Give her a break. She didn't mean anymore. She wasn't trying to... And in doing so, maybe we all just give each other a break. But Tony... Gosh darn. This doesn't make any sense to me, though. Tom Cruise. She was saying that, like, she really did mean it. She probably thought, like, hey. He's very manly. He's very manly. Yeah. He's very manly. And he drives a race car. And, yeah. Could she be called on the carpet for it? Probably, but. Would you? Yes, 100%. Yeah, if I said it, what would happen if I said it? What would happen if someone came out and said, I knew Rosie O'Donnell was gay because she liked to play softball? Yeah.

1:07:40Or tennis or something like that. She'd be like, excuse me. Right. Oh, yeah, she'd be furious. But, hey, I'm being completely genuine when I say I think we should give her a break. I don't think she meant any malcontent. No. Hey, Rosie, this is Tom. I just saw you on Piers Morgan. I wanted to thank you for just continually bringing my name into it. And, you know, if you need anything, just always, you got my number, text me, call me. Thanks for just association. Yeah, thanks for not mentioning anybody else, you know, and just keep trucking. Thanks for not mentioning my adoration for my wife. Right, and how you've seen Katie and I together. Thanks for referring to the race cars. Yeah, I really appreciate it. Thanks for driving the point home literally with a race. car. Always a good litmus test. I know I was in Days of Thunder and it was a pretty good movie. Maybe you didn't know, Rosie, but that's not a documentary. Right. That was a movie. It was my ex-wife, so thanks. Thanks for bringing that up and opening old wounds. Hey, next time if you're on a talk show and somebody asks you about people that haven't come out of the closet, make sure you mention I also fly...

1:08:53Jets. Yes. F-16s. F-16s. Well, actually, those are kind of phallic, so maybe don't. Maybe don't go there. The Jets. Maybe call me Maverick. Yes. M1 Josh from Fallbrook. What team do you want? You want Team Mikey and Woods or Team L-O-B-N-J? I want an all-man show, my friend. Huh. He wants what? I guess I'll just take it to the house. Me and you? Me and you, Woods? Yeah. Hang on the line, my friend. M1, Rick from Escondido, you got L-O-B-N-J, okay? Sounds good. All right, did we put batteries in that sucker? I did, indeed. Right on. We were on the air last time playing. Here's how we do this. Here's how we play catchphrase. We've got to describe a phrase to our partner. We cannot use the word that's in the phrase. You ready? We're mind-melting. And you're going to hear an audible beep. When that audible beep gets really, really fast, it means it's about to go off. If we've got that machine in our hand, when it does, we're toast. Hot potato. Hot potato. Here we go. It's going to be everything is a category. Let's do it. Here we go. Mikey is... Round. But there's another word for it, like a mean word. Oh, jeez. You're going to really set me up like this? Chubby? No. Fat. Yes. And you do this to gum.

1:10:17Fat two? More verse that. Too fat. Too fat? Put another word in the middle. Too your fat. It's like talking. It's like talking to each other. Too on fat? Too the fat. Yes! Gosh darn it. Fake. Oh, he was, hey, he's in Ides of March. It's not George Clooney. Oh. He's the other guy. He's also in The Notebook. Ryan Gosling. Yep. Oh, my gosh. Come on. It's the last meal of the day. Dinner. And rock and... Roll. So put those together. Rock and roll the dinner. No. Dinner roll. Yeah. Dinner roll. Really? Oh, that's ours. We got it. That was in our hand. Yes! You got to get on that, L.O.B. You guys are way at it. Sorry, I was laughing too hard from the FET comment. I can't. Mikey is. Mikey is so this. He set me up. L.O.B. Mikey defines this word. I'm mean for what it said, is what I said.

1:11:17Let me go round. Chubby. Ugly. Short. He did a gesture like he was saying you were round. Unlovable. Or worse. That's awful. All right. Team two got a point? I don't know how to do that. I don't know if she... Just pick one of you guys. Yeah, there you go. Now you want to stay in everything or you want to do something else? Okay. What do I... Just hit start. Two words. Okay. First word is, he had a, in Happy Days, he had a diner. Mel. No, I got it wrong. I got it wrong. That's not, that's not. Arthur. If something is, this is a way of cooking Italian food. Al dente. No, you're very close. Al. Yes. Al. It sounds like fresh. Alfresca. Yes. C's. Wow. This is where you go. It's not war, but peace. Peaceful. When you go into the peace. Peaceful times. When you go into the, it's actual organization. Oh, the Peace Corps. Yes. Still in your hands. No way. It started in your hands, 100%. No way. Just like it started in her hands. It was still in your hands. It was like, we were like this. When I handed it to Mikey, his hands were touching. Yes. Yeah, so was his.

1:13:01Yeah. All right. We'll solve it the old-fashioned way. You can't flip, so we'll just take the point. One to one. All right. I need D-heads. All right. Here we go. Here we go. Ooh. Soccer player? Female soccer player, I believe. Her last name is like a pig. Swine. No. The food that's made from a pig. Pork. No. Bacon. No. Fake men. Pork chop. Sky. Damn. Ham. Yeah. Ham. Dorothy Ham. Hamilton. Oh, it's not you. It's me. Yeah. Me and Ham. Yes. Yes. You liars. I don't know. I didn't know. Oh, you do. Oh, my God. He hit the button. We get the point. You can't. I hit the button. Stop hitting start. Stop hitting start. I'm so stupid. We've only played this a thousand times. By the way. By the way. Sky. Sky. Ham.

1:14:03Skye. Unbelievable. She's trying to get me a ham out there. She goes, of all the, Skye. Skye. Did you forget we were on the air? A voice to each other. That is true. Ham. That is true. Ham. All right. And then I press the wrong button, which immediately disqualifies us. Yeah, immediately disqualifies us. Gosh. Love that. Here we go. Everything's still. Here we go. It's like I'm crazy. Insane in the membrane. And you can see it up here in my face. Oh, it's written all over. You're a madman. Crazy eyes. Googly. Crazy eyes. But there's another, like the West was. East eyes. The West was. One. No, it was crazy. It was. Wild. Wild eyes. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. How's that? Your favorite fried chicken maker. KFC. Yeah. What's his name? What's his name? Colonel Sanders. Yep. Okay, okay, okay. It's an expression meaning like, still not sure about that guy. I'm out on him. It's in a trial. There's these like 12 people I think there are. Judged by your peers. No, no, no. What do you call those people that decide? Jurors. Yeah. So you're like, I just don't know about this guy. The jury's still out. Damn it! Gosh, darn it! This is a form of... Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it.

1:15:29Woods, we are losing today, man. I'm sorry. Oh, God. All right. Three to one, right? Yes. Three to one. Here we go. Dude, stay in the same category. Hey, you guys can't do a fake thing. I swear to God. Excuse me, Happy Days Diner Man. I screwed up. And that was wrong, by the way. Yeah. I got it wrong. Here we go. Alfresca is outside, by the way. What does it mean, alfresca? Your dining alfresca means outside. You know what I thought it was? I thought alfresca was like salsa, but only made from tomatoes. Yeah, tomatoes, I thought. That's the same thing. Salsa fresca, yeah. Salsa fresca, that's what I thought. It means fresh in Spanish. Alfresca is outside. I just learned something, me too. It's like out in the fresh air. Go ahead. There we go. Uh... Clear your throat. Oh, wow. Good. Okay. Oh, God. Oh, no. Three words. Yep. Last word is I give a moving speech. Yep. Okay. The first word is my body. I have a nice figure of speech. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Biting your nails is an example of this. Bad habit. Yes. Wow. Every once in a while, you need to go have your car and get a oil change. Something like that. Oil and filter change. No, no, no, no.

1:16:58Car wash. No, you take your car to get a service. Occasionally get a, this is okay with your guitar. Tune it. Tune up. Tune up. Oh, it's around the olden times and there's a drawbridge that goes over it. What's a drawbridge? Yeah, but what is it around? A castle. Tune it again. Yeah. We're still in the game, baby. We're still in the game. Castle Mote. We're still in the game. We're still in the game. We're still in the game. We're still in the game. All right. Sports and games. Sports and games. Oh, my God. Sports and games. It's three to two. J and L a B. Are you ready? First person, four wins. We're mind melding. Okay. We're mind melding. Yep. Nerds and little kids do this. They gather. They gather things. If you gather something and collect. Okay. The next word is. Blank and roll. Rock. Collect rocks. Yep. Wow. Oh, gosh. It's a football team. They're purple. Atlanta Falcons. Oh, gosh. Dante Culpepper. I don't know what to give you. Patriots. Minneapolis is the capital. Minneapolis Cardinals. Oh, gosh. Minneapolis.

1:18:16Oh, if you're like a... This was like a Halloween costume where you're like... A Viking! The Vikings! The Vikings are a great state! Vikings! Minneapolis Vikings! Vikings! I don't know the state! You didn't win. 3-3. 3-3. Minnesota Vikings. Minnesota. Minnesota Vikings. I know what I said. You said Minneapolis. Dude, we're in this game. We're in this game, Woods. We're in this game. I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm going to have a heart attack. Holy cow. 3-3. Why do we get so freaked out? All right. All right. Here we go. What do I do? Hit start? Hit start. What is the score? 3-3. We are tied. The next person's score point. Winner take ball. Winner take ball. Here we go. Here we go. This is what you do when you put on a mask and go underwater. Scuba dot. Yes. Oh, wow. It's baseball and it's the whole group of them. The league. Yes. Oh, MLB. No, no. The last part you said, but it's like, you know, you stand for the. National League. Yes. LLB was doing this in her apartment the other day. Minus this. Limbo. Right. Blank and stones. Sticks.

1:19:36Stick. Limbo stick. Come on, Hilda. Okay. If you are in Vegas and you're doing blackjack, you need to pass these out. Chips. No, no, no. They've got, like, suits on them. Oh, cards. Yeah. Deck of cards. Yeah. Dang it. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. Holy cow. We have never worked so hard. We have never worked so hard. That was the most competitive game we ever did. M1 Josh from Fallbrook. Are you there? Dude! We did it! I want to win so badly. Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Grandma. Oh, my gosh. I thought, seriously, my heart is pounding like a rabbit. I don't know why this game gets us like this, but it does. What did they win, Jay?

1:20:38The $50 gift card to Dave and Buster's. Yeah. A $50 gift card to Dave and Buster's has never been fought over so hard. Yeah. So hard. You should get that competitive when you use that card. My goodness. The Cardinal. The. Well. In Minneapolis. We do this thing. We do this thing on the Mikey Show called Mikey Morning Quarterback. Yep. And. We do it during the regular season of football, and it's to see who knows more about football, L-O-B or J. J, admittedly, he doesn't know anything about football. Uh-oh, not a thing. When I got that, I was like, oh. Or geography. Apparently. That was. How would I know where they're from if I never. Minneapolis. I didn't hear that clue. You said it. You said it. Give me anything. Anyone here, not the other. Cardinals, Patriots, Saints, Castle Moat. That was genius. That was genius. Oh, it was very intense. Very, very intense. Man, we got some good stuff coming up, too. Oh, we got some good stuff. Woods, when I tell you about Woods' recap about what he did yesterday, first of all, he had something removed surgically from his body yesterday. So I'll tell you all about it and this incredible story next.

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1:23:22I just got 4G LTE from AT&T here in San Diego. And let me tell you, it's crazy fast. Like living in the future fast. Up to 10 times faster than 3G. My roommates can't keep up. Ooh, Jenny, did you hear? That Barbara has an extra ticket to the concert, Lisa. That's so 42 seconds ago. I already downloaded it from the link she sent me. Oh, great. Lisa will forget about that ticket soon. See, about 52 seconds ago, her boyfriend changed his relationship status to single. She doesn't know that yet, but she will in three... Two, one. AT&T. Rethink. Jay is losing his mind today. He is losing his mind today. Why? Why? When I am playing commercials, I like to leave enough room to drive a semi-truck through them. What is going on? Oh, great.

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1:28:46To the stars. Our color gave them their name. Bright red tails. Black pilots. Here we go. Faith gave them their strength. Heavenly Father, surround us as we fly through the sky. Amen. This Friday. Bogeys inbound, 12 o'clock. Die, you nuts. Executive producer George Lucas presents. I got him, I got him. Get on the inside. Cuba Gooding Jr. We're fighting pilots. Terrence Howard. To the last man we fight. We fight. Red tails. Rated PG-13 may be inappropriate for children under 13. In theaters this Friday. Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market, making fresh and wholesome food affordable in your neighborhood. Go to freshandeasy.com for a location nearest you. This report, it's brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. The Exergen Temporal Thermometer, it's a top choice of doctors, nurses, and health professionals. Now it can be yours, the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. Get yours at Supercenter, Sam's Club, and other fine retailers today. Well, we've got an issue here over on the 8 westbound to the 15 north connector. It looks like it was an earlier accident. They're waiting on a tow truck. I guess it's a BMW blocking that number one lane. Also, some delay as you travel on the 52 westbound. You've got some slowing from Mission Gorge Road all the way down to the 125 south.

1:29:5946 miles an hour, and something in the middle of the road here on the 805 southbound at the 54 East. Cars swerving to avoid it. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, with the new year upon us, now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. That's, that's, that's not a word. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh my God. On FM 94.9. Woods recaps hysterical. Watched a documentary yesterday on astronomy. It's the Mikey Show. FM 94.9 is the home of the Mikey Show. Spread the word. I'm Mikey. I'm the host. Woods is our sports guy. LOB is our assistant producer. Jay is our producer. And our phone screener is 19-year-old Nicole. We're at the Cheesecake Factory today at 1115 in Mission Valley where I have to wear a bad toupee because I lost a bet. I thought it was funny because I was wearing a bad toupee. It's all funny.

1:31:39Woods, what's going on in Indianapolis? Dude, they fired their head coach, Jim Caldwell, yesterday. They have a new general manager. His name is Ryan Gregson. He's young. Took him about a week to make his first big move, and he fired head coach Jim Caldwell. I have a question for you. They have the first pick in the draft, they being the Indianapolis Colts. It is widely speculated they're going to draft Andrew Luck. They have a guy that currently plays quarterback for them named Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning is owed $28 million in March. Right. From the Colts. Right. You are, Mike Esparza, the new owner of the Indianapolis Colts. What do you do? I keep Peyton Manning. You do? I keep Peyton. You pay him the 28. I pay him the 28. Wow. I draft Andrew Luck, and I let him sit behind Peyton Manning because you don't give something up for what you already have. And in this case, you can have your cake and eat it too. Because you don't want to give something up. It's like this. It's the philosophy of, do you want to trade a first-round draft pick for Michael Vick? I'll give you a first-round draft pick. You give me Michael Vick. Well, I don't know what that first-round draft pick is going to do. I do know what I have in Michael Vick. I already know.

1:33:01I'll play counterpoint to you. So I got, well, just to drive it home, I got my Peyton Manning and I know what he's capable of. And I also get my Andrew Luck, which is going to, you know, he's going to be there when to be the heir apparent to Peyton. My caveat is, how do you know as the owner that Peyton Manning is healthy? Well, he's had three neck surgeries. Yeah. Hasn't been hit yet. Yeah. 28 million bucks is a lot. It's a big paradise to roll. Yeah. Big paradise. Well. And here's the deal. I wouldn't roll $28 million on, let's say, who's the quarterback for the Houston, who's the starter for the Houston Texans? Matt Schaub. I wouldn't roll the dice, $28 million on Matt Schaub. I wouldn't roll $28 million on Carson Palmer. Right. But I'd roll $28 million on Drew Brees or Peyton Manning. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Yeah. Well, here's my only thing is the doctors will clear him. You know, they'll say, yeah, yeah, he's good to go. Neck's good. This is his third neck surgery. And if he gets hit wrong, sit down to 28 down the drain. So the word around the campfire is this is going to be.

1:34:15Probably Peyton's last year with the Colts. He's probably done, they're saying. They're saying because it looks like they're just going to do the clean slate bit and just go with Andrew Luck. They're going to bring in a coach that can work him. But that means Peyton Manning could potentially be a free agent out there for a team like the Jets, a team like the Redskins. I would go the clean slate route. I couldn't pay a guy $28 million if I didn't know he was going to be on the field. I just couldn't do it. Wouldn't it kill you if you went across the street? It would murder me. It would murder me. But you got Andrew Luck. Yeah. New head coach in St. Louis, Jeff Fisher. Jeff Fisher, yep. And he's got his new defensive coordinator. Greg Williams. Greg Williams. From the Saints. Yeah, now that guy is legit. He is. He's taking the Saints defense. He won a Super Bowl for those cats. And he is a really good coordinator. I didn't understand the move because it's a lateral move to a worse team. But I think he has a comfortability factor with Jeff Fisher. Yeah. Let's see. I don't know if they're still there. I don't think they are. The phone was... It's M1 Steven from Ramona, but I can't... I don't know what's going on with that line. There we go. There we go. Steven, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What was the word of the day? Astronomy. You are correct. I actually did watch a documentary on astronomy. Weird. True story. Wow. It's a documentary TV show called The World's Biggest Fixes. They had to fix a telescope. Hang on the line, okay?

1:35:45All right, thank you. You know me, I loved it. I'll watch a documentary on a turd, Ryan. Woods had on his, speaking of documentaries, Woods is 36 years old. He sits across from me and he had a little piece of skin that was growing out of his back. Minus the little, yeah. It was a skin tag. Like an arm. Yeah, it was hideous. You can see it through my shirt. I think it was the size of a... Jay, you tell me what you think, but I think it was the size of half of a green pea. You know, peas, green peas? It's probably two peas. No way. Size of two peas. It was like a goober. Yeah, it was like a goober. Was it that big? Yeah, it was big. Size of a marble, you're saying? Oh, yeah. It's disgusting. It's a goober. Was it that big? Yes. Okay. Chocolate-covered raisin, yeah. Yeah, it's a raisinette. It's identical raisinette, except it was white. Okay, it was the size of a raisin? Raisinette.

1:36:50Raising that. Covered in chocolate. And you said that it hurt. Oh, yeah. If you like, because you said. I said rip it off. Yeah, twist it off. If I get one of those little ones, I'll twist those SLBs off. No problem. This one was big and thick. It was on his back. You missed the opportunity. Yeah, I did. I did. So you had to go to a dermatologist. Yes. To have it removed. I sure did. And by the way, while they were there, they found a mole that they were concerned about. So they cut that bad boy out too. Yep. The black one on your belly? On my back. Oh, they didn't get the belly one. You have one on your belly? I'm very moly. And how does she know what's going on in your belly? You showed it every day. I remember when I was drawing the bunny on Woods for this bit we did back around Easter. I remember telling him to get his mole checked out. Did they check your mole on your belly? They looked and they weren't concerned by anything on my stomach. Probably because I had my hands over it like a...

1:37:50Shy, timid schoolgirl going to second base for the first time. Listen to this. Wood says, I had to remove my shirt in front of a pretty physician's assistant. Then sit there on the bench with my gut lapping over my belt and my breasts hanging. Then I got to lay on my chest so she could see my badass son tattoo. that I got when I was 18 years old on my shoulder. Awesome. Wow. There is nothing worse, and I can relate, there is nothing worse than having to take off your shirt when you're portly. And I am now, like, I'm starting to see, like, cellulite bumps.

1:38:51Which is like, you know, I go into the gym now and I'm like, don't be fat anymore. Don't be fat anymore. It's my motivation and it's working. It's working. But yesterday, yeah, cottage freaking cheese. They're always very professional. They're emotionless. But you know in their head they're going, gosh darn, that guy's got T's. That guy's 36. He's got B-comps. I was... And the nerves. You know how they have the paper on the bench? The nerves. And then, like, also they're cutting something off my back, so I was a little nervous. I was sweating. Plus, I had just gotten back from the gym. So I had my, all my stuff was racing, you know? Wait a minute, wait a minute. You went to the doctor after you went to the gym? Yes. No. I had to. I was going to be late. I had to get a workout in, and I had to get to the doctor. They've seen worse. What would you have suggested, Ella B? Are you saying, oh, because he was sweaty? That was just not. Oh, yeah. Very considerate to them. I don't stink when I sweat, and I put deodorant on, extra deodorant that I carry in my car. So I took a whore's bath. Yeah, but I was going to run late. I had to get it all, pack it all in. Can we pull the curtain back on what you said to me off the air? Sure. You said, yeah, Mike, it wasn't so bad after the local. Or no, how did you phrase it? So it hurt a little bit after the local wore off. And you guys got such a kick out of that. Such a kick out of it.

1:40:15Easy, Grayson Adam. The local. The local. That's what it's called, the local. The loke. Yeah, the local. When the local wears off, it starts to like, it's a little sore. Did you learn that during your residency? No, I recruited physicians for a while. Got it. So you know the jargon. The lingo. So they just did a scrape, right? I don't know what they did. I couldn't see it. It was on my stomach. But I'll tell you this. When I sat up, that freaking paper that covers the bench was soaked. In sweat? In sweat. Oh, okay. And I was even more embarrassed. I was like, oh, God, I'm disgusting. Yeah, I've been there before. Those offices are freezing, too. Yeah. Oh, my nips were just. Oh, that's just the worst. And my boobs, just fat. I hate it. Just sitting there. And I did. I had my hands. Like, I was a shy teenager in the back of a Camaro. Like, covering my boobs and my stomach. I was mortified. I can relate to it, Woods. And sometimes I'll go to the doctor.

1:41:15Oh, I hate this. Sometimes I'll go to the doctor and I'll have on a thermal with a T-shirt over it. And I go, Mike, why did you do that? Because they need to take my blood pressure. Oh, yeah. And so they say, now, if I had just worn a T-shirt, all I would have had to do is pull my T-shirt up and they could wrap that thing around. But if you've got the thermal on, now, sometimes they'll try. Yeah, you can't push it up high enough. Sometimes they'll try. over the thermal and it'll still, but most of the time they go, I'm going to need you to take that off. You can just cut the sleeve off. It's a young woman. Yeah. I basically want to say, please just cut the sleeve off. Just cut it off. Yeah, young girl. Yeah. And so I've got to take off my shirt, exposing my D cups. Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. And just, and let her.

1:42:15Gaze. Taking your shirt off in front of a woman that's not your wife is not as fun as it used to be, I'll tell you that. Why can't you guys just roll your sleeves up? Well, I had to get moles cut off my back. And I had a Thermalon. Two years ago, I went to the dermatologist, and she's like, oh, yeah, can we have some interns come in? We want to show them how it is to look for moles. I was like, whatever, I don't care. So I'm in my little skivvies. laying on the table, and I was assaulted. I mean, they were pulling, and there were six of them, six ladies. They couldn't help themselves. Yeah, we actually ended up shooting an adult film that day. Yeah, you know why? Because they couldn't keep their hands off. I made Kim stay in the room, and I was like, well, I had to. I had to. I said, Kim, you got to stay here. These girls will eat me alive. They're going to attack me, man. There should be like an age limit, and you should have to be ugly to be like in that field. A nurse. Yeah. It's so embarrassing. Yeah, I would prefer, well, I'd actually prefer a 75-year-old man. So I'm saying this should be like a minimum age requirement. Well, either that or you look worse than me requirement. They should match people up. But you don't want to go, yeah, you should be a lineup. You're like, I want her. That's the nurse I want. You can't have her. I'll still say this. It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter if you are the most beautiful, perfect woman in the world. To me.

1:43:32I say, I'm glad I'm not a woman because the whole OBGYN thing, it doesn't matter who you are. To me, it seems like that's the most mortifying thing in the world. And I don't care if you know the OBGYN like they're your best friend. That's even worse. Yeah, probably. If I was a girl and had to go to the OBGYN, I'd have to get hammered. And I mean, hammered. I'd walk in and be like, it's not a date. This is my appointment. I'm going to put it in the syrup. I'll scrooge up for you. It just seems. It's so invasive and just, yeah. It's just, I tip my hat to the ladies out there. I tip the hat. And to the OBGYNs out there. And LOB is at one of those deals where you just go, hey. We got to do it, so, you know. You have to do it. You get more and more used to it. Oh, gosh. First time I had to go, I almost fainted. Really? I would. Yeah. I would faint. What do you do? Do you just look at the ceiling? Oh, God. I would just count. Make small talk. Yeah, small talk. They don't small talk, do they? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, my God. The worst is when it's small talk about what's going on in there. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh. No, no, no. No, no, no. Do you get a wicked echo? It's Gleewebbing.

1:45:08Well, they make little comments. It'd be like someone telling you you have like a pear-shaped pancreas. You're like, what does that mean? Please don't tell me that. I would say, please don't tell me that. Oh, you have a nice pear-shaped pancreas. Just noticing. They don't say just noticing. They say stuff like, well, I go, what does that mean? It doesn't mean anything. Don't ask. It just means what it is. Don't ask. Stop being so inquisitive. You and Mike. God. Excuse me, but what would you do if someone said, oh, you have a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go. That's what I would do. I go, I don't want to talk about it. I would never go back. What does that mean? What does that mean? You have to. Female, right? Yeah. She said it as if it was like neat. How old is she? Late 30s, probably. She meant something as a compliment? Don't compliment me. Don't compliment that. Oh, look at that. Sort of, whatever. Like an observation. Yeah. Oh, look at that. And then I said, what does that mean? Just, that is what it is. Just making observation. We were at Vons. Oh my gosh, that's, I'm uncomfortable even now. We were shopping at Vons and this lady came up and was talking to Kim. Oh, hey, how are you? We talked, talked for a little bit. I'm like, you know, they carry out a conversation. I have no idea who it is. We're walking out of the car. I said, oh, she was nice. Who was that? She goes, that was my doctor.

1:46:31No way. She knows you pretty good. Better than you. Wow. Yeah, the last time I went, like one of the nurses was in there and asking me, like making small talk when she's doing my blood pressure and stuff. And I told her what I did. And I was like, great. Now we're going to be able to go here again. She told her what she did for a living. What she did for a living. She's like, I'm going to listen. I'll listen. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't listen to me. Please don't listen to me on the radio. Or call in. Talk to us. Please don't listen to me on the radio. I always like to say that I work for the radio so people don't assume that I'm on. They're going to ask. I know. And then they keep going. They're too inquisitive. Yeah. Everybody's too inquisitive. When people ask me what I do and it's an embarrassing situation where my man boobs are out, I work in communications. Yeah. What do you do? Oh, gosh. No. Communicator. I'm a communicator. I'm a professional. Communicator. I work for media. Oh. Oh, really? What do you do? You know, you've got to make a lot more small talk when you're getting waxed. That lasts longer than the OB-GYN appointment. Okay. I know a lot about my waxer and vice versa. Yeah. Okay. Well, okay. I'm a good... Okay. Okay.

1:47:58L.O.B. said in her recap, and this is something that has happened to every one of us, to a person, as you're listening. I'm going to get mad when you read it out loud. I know it. To a person, this has happened to every single one of us. Yesterday, Lauren waited on hold for 35 minutes with her credit card company, and then the call dropped. 35 minutes of waiting, and the call dropped. When that happens, You become like we're all grown up little kids. You're seven. You want a mad cry. Yeah. You want to take the phone like Robert De Niro did in the movie Goodfellas. We found out that Tommy had been whacked. Yeah. You want to take the phone and pound it against the thing. Yes. Yeah. Just beat it. The worst part about it was I had it on speaker and they're playing the customer service. And when it.

1:49:05I was like, ah, finally. Yes. And then I picked it up and it just showed my home screen. It showed the time. Yes. Oh, God. And I was like, no. No, no. So she calls back. Well, wait. She called back, sat on hold 20 more minutes and told the guy angrily that she needed a number to call back just in case. That's what I was going to tell you. Yep. And she got dropped five minutes later. Oh. And the number that he gave her took her back to the main console. Now, I mean, I have to call back and resolve it. It's $70. Oh, you quit. You quit after that one. Oh, yeah. Oh, I would lose my mind. I would lose my mind. And nobody would blame you. I feel like they almost do it on purpose because they're like, you decide, is it worth it?

1:50:10$70 to me to call back again. I know. Exactly right. And I'm kind of like... It is. It's totally worth it. I really could use that $70, but my gosh. My sanity. What is my sanity worth? It's worth a lot. It's worth a lot. It's worst. Let's see. M1 Nicole from Escondido. Are you there? Yeah. All right. What were you calling to say? I was listening when you guys were talking about the awkward OBGYN stories, and I thought I had a kind of awkward and funny experience one time. Hey, I didn't mean to turn it into a necessarily, but I'm interested. 100%. I'm interested. Go ahead. Well, it is. So I moved to La Jolla a while ago, and I was dating a gentleman, and I needed an OBGYN in the area. And I was asking around, and his mom was like, oh, I know someone gave me his card and scheduled an appointment. Not really. thinking anything of it i go in and it's already awkward enough i feel yeah you know yeah yes so i'm laying there and the doctor's checking me out and it happens to be a male which means there's been an audience because they have to have a female in the room which is also always awesome yeah so he you know was in his late 50s early 60s and all of a sudden he starts

1:51:29You know, oh, so how are things with the name of my boyfriend? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I find out that he is the actual OBGYN that delivered Dieter and is also my boyfriend's mom and starts telling me that my insides resemble his and that I would be a good match. Wow. And I had no idea what to say. Instantly started sweating, instantly red, and just the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my entire life. The poor girl. is dating a guy and already goes through the trauma of his mom suggesting someone. Yes. And then that someone starts to make small talk because he delivered her boyfriend. Right. And then makes a... What kind of World War II mentality do you have to have to go on to say something? Oh, my... Like, you probably ran, not walked. Ran out of that place. Isn't the most... Hang on. Hang on. That's one of the single craziest things. Oh, yeah. The only way it could be worse is if it was his dad and you didn't know it. Yes. But isn't the most important part of the story that her boyfriend, she dated a guy named Dieter? Yes. Yeah, that is in fact... Dieter interests me. Yes. I'm very interested in Dieter.

1:52:55Oh, there's not much to say anymore about Dieter. Did he have a pet monkey? Are you still together with Dieter? No, no. We broke up. He's married as a kid now. That's in the past, as is that OBG. It will stay there. Did you ever go back to that guy? I actually had to go back because I had to do a follow-up appointment. So you had to? Yeah, it was semi-serious. Had to go back. It was just for results, but it was just, it was, oh gosh, please don't ask me anything. Please don't say any more comments. Yeah, he goes, he goes, hey, listen, I'm really sorry to hear about you and Dieter that you didn't work out. Yeah. Sorry about that. Wow. Dieter, thank you for the call. I didn't know that ladies had to be in there now. Oh, yeah, for like. Sex pervert. Yeah, so that there's no allegations. It must have been from that movie, The Hand That Rock. Oh, gosh. I went as a kid to my mom's OBGYN. Okay. When we come back. He was a man. When we come back. Probably still is a man. Okay. When we come back, you're going to hear a woman that was captured on YouTube crying because the Packers lost. And she believes that they lost because she had.

1:54:24sparkle nail polish, and she's bawling her eyes out. Yeah. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The number one selling luxury vehicle in the United States last year was the Bavarian Motor Works. BMW. Many people didn't even know. Oh, that's what it stands for. BMW stands for Bavarian Motor Works. And the BMW was the ultimate driving machine literally last year. Number one selling luxury vehicle in the United States. I can tell you, bar none, the BMW vehicle is an incredible vehicle. Now, a lot of people may be listening and saying, well, great.

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2:02:51I'm hungry. Get the Subway Big Hop Pastrami Melt today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bert, Bert's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by the shed where I've got a great selection of both new and used surfboards as well as all kinds of other really classic accessories. So stop by and check it out and say hey. Surf-wise today, looking a bit smaller as that west-northwest release swell continues to falter off. Not much out of the south either. Higher ties this morning, backing things off quite a bit. Beach breaks your most likely place to find somewhere to go surfing, although it will be small in that needed wave-sized zone on average. Reef breaks pretty much not existing right now. Looks like we're going to have clear skies throughout the day, maybe some light and variable winds. Right now, calm winds, clean conditions, just not a whole lot of waves to be ridden. Water temp about 57 degrees. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for surf or repair restoration needs, go see my pal Joe Roper on Marina Boulevard. Tell them Burr sent you.

2:03:52The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts and reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Gonna be doing the dumb drunk there with L.O.B. So she went out and talked to some people that had had one too many. It's a good way to see what not to do. Now, we need one person to play for themselves. And then we need three people to play and pick a horse. Me, Jay, or Woods. You can call us with that right now. So there's a viral video that's out there right now.

2:04:53It's of a, you know, after the Packer loss this weekend to the Giants at home, Packer fan was in the car with her girlfriend, Megan. And she was upset because she believes that her sparkly fingernail polish was bad luck to the Packers. It was, in fact, her fault. It's really something else yeah, you know

2:06:09I don't find anything wrong with it. What? I don't find one thing wrong with it. And I do it, obviously not with nail polish, but I do it with shirts. And I do it, and I will change shirts. Would you cry like that and, you know, carry on? Yes. Yes, I would. Megan. If I had the wrong shirt on. Megan. Megan. Megan. Yeah. I totally get it. Superstition. And I'm a big believer in superstition. You don't care about pretty. Now, what if you do something right and one of the other fans does something wrong? You know, with my teams, I watch them by myself because I never have to worry about that situation. Like millions of people like the Yankees. Yeah. So you don't wear the right shirt. Yeah. What if you do wear the right shirt, but like seven other million people don't do it? That wasn't the right shirt if they lost. I don't know where my hair is, Julie. I hate my hair. It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't cry. No, this is your fault. Megan's fault. It is by far.

2:07:43The best part. The Megan. The Megan. Megan. Megan. Do you think that girl is single? Yes. Yes. Why do you say that? You don't know. She's married to the Packers. Yeah. Oh, oops. Uh-oh. Sorry. I have to isolate just that part. Yes. Megan. Chances she's ever worn a cheese hat hat. Oh, my God. No, 100%. She owns a parka. She knows what a kielbasa tastes like. Yeah. All right, here we go. I've got it isolated. How do you film somebody like that? She started crying and she took out her phone and just... Everyone has to be careful these days. What is the matter with Megan? Megan is... She's just...

2:08:47She is a thoughtless, insensitive, insensitive human. Well, she cared more about looks. Yeah, right. Megan, first of all, you know, the deal with the sparkly nail polish, you know, zoomable Megan. Well, well put. I love it. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. It's time to play the dumb drunk dare. You're going to pick myself. Jay, or Woods to represent you, and one person will play for themselves. M1 Surf Daddy from Encinitas, you represent yourself, okay? All right. Hang on the line. Up next, M1 Phil from Vista, who do you want to represent you? Hollywood! There you go. Hang on. M1 George from Mission Valley, who do you want? I'll take Mikey. All right. Hang on. And M1 Blaine from Encinitas, you've got Jay. Hang on, okay? Sounds good. All right. Now, what we will do is we will, where did you go? You went to a bar. Yes, D Street in Encinitas. There you go. And interviewed a couple of people. And the first person that you talked to. You should have a sheet on it. Yeah, yeah, I do. The first person that you talked to was a young lady by the name of Virginia. Can you tell me your name? My name is Virginia.

2:10:11And Virginie in French. Oh, very nice. Meet Virginia. Can you tell me your age? 27. So how many drinks have you had? That's six drinks. And I'll weigh 102 pounds. Now, we're getting a little bit of an idea of where she is, okay? That's what we're trying to do. And here is her first. Question. What former Godfather's Pizza CEO was the first to drop out of the race for the GOP nomination? The answer is Herman Cain. And I say that she will get this question correct. She sounds with it. She sounds very with it. Jay, what do you think? I agree. She will know. Woods, what do you think? She'll know. And M1 Surf Daddy, what do you think? No way. You say she will not know. Here's the answer. Oh, Godfather's Pizza? Godfather's. Isn't there Godfather's pizza? No, I pass. Pass? Yeah. No say. You're cute. Wow. Somebody said you're cute. You're cute. Wow. Virginia, come on. Come on, Virginia. M1 Surf Daddy, you called that one correctly. Yeah, he did. LB, you keeping score? I am. Okay, cool. Here was the second question for Virginia. In what year did the 9-11 attacks occur?

2:11:32Now, that is an easy one. That's 2001. Right. But I would have thought that Herman Cain was such a big name out there. So, I don't know. We'll rotate. Jay, what do you think she'll say? She will not know. She will not know. Woods, she'll know. M1 Surf Daddy? I'm with Jay. I believe she will know that it was in 2001. 2011. Gosh darn you. No, it didn't. It didn't. It was... 2009. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Yes, it happened four years ago, sweetheart. Three years ago. Hashish. Yeah, hashish. Professional drinker. My goodness. I may have told her I would take that part out. Sorry.

2:12:31She was like, you have to take it. I was like, don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Take care of you. I love you. And so who got that one right? Jay and Surf Daddy. Jay and Surf Daddy. I am 0 for 2. I'm not doing too good either. Here we go. Who's the lone female judge on the TV singing competition, The Voice? The answer is Christina Aguilera. That is a tough one, Woods. What do you think? I say no. She won't know it. She will not know it's Christina Aguilera. She drinks. She doesn't watch TV. Okay. M1, Surf Daddy. Ooh, that's a tough one. I'm going to say she doesn't know it. Yeah, I'm going to say, well, I got to catch up. I'm going to say she knows. Jay, what do you think? She absolutely knows, 100%. Here we go. Jennifer Lopez? Yes. Gosh darn it. She's a monster. What is wrong with her? No. I would not have known that. Surf Daddy's running away with it. Gosh darn it. Surf Daddy, you're doing good. She must be real cute. Yeah. Was she? Was she? Yeah, LLB says yes. She was very cute. Oh, gosh. They probably did. Later on in the night. Oh, nice. Later on in the night.

2:13:53Later on, L.O.B. talked to Mike. Can you tell me your name? Mike. And how old are you? 29. How many drinks have you had, Mike? I've had two drinks. Wow. I was sober. I don't know why you guys are looking at me. Had you had any drinks yourself? Not a single one. It's just how I talk when I yell. Can you tell me your name? Mike. And how old are you? 29. How many drinks have you had, Mike? I've had two drinks. I think she just blends into her environment. Yeah, she's like a chameleon. She adapts to her environment. He gave me a big wink, by the way. He did. Big old wink with the, I've had two drinks. Oh, okay. That's good to know. That is good to know. Very good to know. That is inside information, folks. Here is his first question. What famous power couple just named their baby Blue Ivy Carter? Olivia, are you sure you hadn't had even one? Not a one. Not a drop. What famous power couple just named their child? When I yell, my voice gets all annoying and nasal. Now, the answer is Beyonce and Jay-Z. Will Mike, who winked when he said that he'd only had two drinks.

2:15:17Will he know that that's Beyonce and Jay-Z? It's one of the biggest stories out there right now in entertainment. M1 Surf Daddy, what do you think? I'm going to have to say no, Mike. I do not believe he will know. Jay? I do not believe he will know. Woods? I don't believe he'll know. Here we go. That would be Jay-Z and Beyonce. Holy cow. Holy cow. Holy cow. I want to do the opposite of what you guys are doing, too. He nailed it. Gosh, we all got that wrong. Damn it. All right, here was the next question for Mike. What jersey number does media sensation Tim Tebow wear for the Denver Broncos? The answer is 15. Yeah, the answer is 15. Mike is, he seems like a bright guy. I'm going to say he knows. Jay? I'm going to go the opposite. I'm going to say he doesn't know. Woods? He knows. And M1 Surf Daddy? You know, I got to go with you boys, and he knows. All right, let's see.

2:16:1815. Yo! Hello! I was playing odds. Next question for Mike. In what state was Barack Obama a senator before becoming president? Tough question. Illinois. Illinois. The answer is Illinois, and we now got to decide, will this guy know? Jay, what do you think? He will not. He will not know that he was from Illinois. Woods. He will know. He will know. Surf Daddy. With Woodsy. Yep. I believe he will know. Guys aren't president. He's the president of the United States of America. Here we go. Illinois. Yeah! Dang it. This dude's sharp as a tack. Now, where are we in the scoring, L.O.B.? Right now, Surf Daddy has five. Jay has only one. Woods has three. Mike, you have two. Then that means M1 Surf Daddy has won the dumb drunk dare. Yeah!

2:17:17Good job, dude. What did he win? What did he win, Jay? He got a $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. Dave & Buster's, eat, drink, play. Why? Why? Hang on. Want to play the other tiebreaker questions just for giggles? I love this game. I do, too. Just for giggles, we'll give you the tiebreaker questions. This was Virginia's tiebreaker question. What actress starred opposite Tom Cruise in the 2001 Cameron Crowe film Vanilla Sky? The answer is Cameron Diaz. Correct. Well, that's what you had for the answer. And Penelope Cruz. Well, Penelope Cruz was in it, too. Yes. Yeah, you could both would work. I guess both would work. She said Penelope Cruz. Oh, well. Yeah, you just. I say she knows it. Penelope Cruz. Yes, I got it. Technically, I guess she's right. Technically, I guess she's right. But I would give her the, and then I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

2:18:21She is right. I didn't know you guys were playing. I thought you were just playing. Look, she got one right. Tiebreaker question for Mike. Who played Wyatt Earp in the 1993 film Tombstone? What, did you think he would know that? That is Kurt Russell. Yeah, he's a man's man, this Mike. I think he knows. I say he doesn't know. That would be... I know this. Wyatt Earp. Kirk. Kurt. I know his last name. Kurt Russell. That Mike is a sharp tack. He is, dude. Four for four. Four for four. I'd like to see a picture of Virginia, too, if you have to. You should take a picture of each of them so we can guess. Yeah, so we can see what they look like. Really? Is that what would somehow help you? She's very cute and very fun as well. Is she busting? You know what? Was she? There's nothing relevant, really. Long legs? All right. No, not particularly. This was Paula Deen on the Today Show yesterday. Paula, good to see you. Good morning, darling. How are you? Well, I'm good. The question is, how are you? I'm great.

2:19:48So is it true you have type 2 diabetes? I do. I was diagnosed three years ago, Al, doing a regular physical exam with my doctor that I had type 2 diabetes. And I'm here today to let the world know that it is not a death sentence. Now, for those of you that do not know who Paula Deen is, she is... Good old-fashioned southern girl, lady, and she cooks with a lot of butter. She cooks some very fattening foods. And she's on record as saying, hey, you don't like it? Feast. I don't care. Don't eat it. Yeah, she says, listen, I don't care what you think, and I know that it's, you know, butter, but I like it. So she got drilled about it.

2:20:52But a lot of folks say, you know, look, your southern food, your cooking is kind of fattening. And folks say you are what you eat. And that kind of food can lead to type 2 diabetes. Certainly, Al, that is part of the puzzle. But there's many other things that can lead to diabetes. Certainly genetics. Certainly your lifestyle. Certainly what you eat. Certainly stress. In fact, let's bring in Dr. Rashini Raj. And last but not least is age. What about butter? What about fried food? Well, I mean, listen, I grew up in the South. I got grandparents that are 90 years old that ate fried catfish and fried potatoes and chocolate pie and sweet tea for every meal. They don't have diabetes. Yeah, I mean, not everybody gets it. Bacon, you know, eggs, smothered in butter. My brother, 25 years ago. loved McDonald's. He had a Big Mac every single day. How long? Six years. Oh, my. He's got diabetes. Now, is that why? Don't know. Can't know. Wow. He was very overweight. He's not anymore. That'll do it. He's skinny. Oh, yeah, Mark? Yeah. Well, he is a by-the-book guy. When the doctor said, this is what you need to do, it wasn't even a question. Wow. By the book.

2:22:29Mark used to be super heavy. Now he's as skinny and fit as, you know. I think he walks something like six miles a day or something. Brett Michaels had diabetes. Yeah. And he wasn't, you know. He wasn't an overweight guy. But it took her a long time to come out with the information and people wanted to know why. So, why did you take so long to let people know that you had type 2 diabetes? I intentionally did it, Al. I came home. I told my children. I told my husband. I said, I'm going to keep this close to my chest for the time being because I had to figure things out in my own head. I had to give time to think about it, talk with my doctor because, Al, at the time, you know, I tell everything. I could have walked out and said, hey, y'all, I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and walked away. I had nothing.

2:23:29to give to my fellow friends out there. So what do you say to people who say, oh, she delayed this because this would damage her reputation, her whole industry that she's built basically on this kind of cooking? No, people are not going to quit eating. We quit eating, we're all out of here. I thought she would do a thing where she'd go, ever since I found out that I've got type 2 diabetes, I decided, y'all, that I'm going to eat different. Right. And now I'm going to teach you how to eat good old Southern food the healthy way. That's identical Paula D, by the way. She's not. It's identical. But she's not. She's going, y'all can feast. Wow. Literally. Literally. No, seriously, y'all, you can feast. We're going to miss her. Literally. Oh, gosh, dude. Oh, wow. Well, you don't change what you're doing. Yeah.

2:24:29Crazy old broad. She's so sweet. This story that came out of San Diego, a guy from El Cajon, won $7.5 million in a lawsuit because his penis was shortened by an inch and a half. True story. We will tell you what happened. This is a crazy story. It's next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-194. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. At Albertsons, their fruits and vegetables aren't just fresh, they're guaranteed fresh. If their produce is any less than perfect, they'll replace it and give you your money back. It's just one more way they're raising the bar on freshness at Albertsons. Hey, gang, it's your old pals.

2:25:34It's Ella B. And who are you? I'm your old pal, Woodsy. Got to tell you about Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Not last July, but the July before I went to get my eyes done. And it's a decision that I put off for many, many, many, many years. And I just wasn't sure if I wanted to do it, but I got tired of wearing contacts and glasses. So I went to Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at Clearview. Yeah, and I didn't realize I was going through my old Gmail today. I have everything archived. Weird. I have something from 2007 was the first time I made a consultation. Yeah. I put it off that long because I just hadn't found the right doctor. But when I went to Clearview and met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman, I was like, that's it. I'm in. Well, listen, getting your eyes done and going from such terrible, terrible vision like I had and L.O.B. had to having better than perfect vision is, it's a miracle. I mean, it really is. It's absolutely unbelievable. Give them a call today, 858-452-3937, or you can go online.

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2:31:34Come in now and get the Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket 4G LTE smartphone for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9. Visit att.com or store for details. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Compatible device and data plan required. Tablet and smartphone each require a new two-year service agreement with qualifying monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. This report, it's brought to you by H&R Block. With H&R Block Office Online, Mobile, and Block Live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever, and however you like. H&R Block, never settle for less. A little bit of an issue here on the 5, the 5 southbound before Sassafras Street. We've got a stalled vehicle. Things backing up over here. You also have some backup over on the 8 westbound. Looks like the 5 south connector, pretty slow, about 45 miles an hour. Traveling up towards the 805, the 805 northbound, you've got delays from the 52 east to about Balboa Avenue. Those speeds are about 20 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calories menu.

2:32:38Great tasty meals starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. Come in and try one today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. I'm Mikey, the host of the show. Here on FM 94.9, hopefully you're listening to us on the radio and you're telling many people that FM 94.9 is the home of the Mikey Show. Because a lot of people don't know. If you want to support the Mikey Show, you can call our radio station and ask for Steve Splenar if you would like to advertise on our program. Oh, yeah. Call the radio station and say, can I speak to Steve Splenar if you...

2:33:43believe in The Mikey Show, and you believe The Mikey Show can be good for your business, call. We would love to support your business and to have you be one of our endorsements. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. Our phone screener is Nicole. In just a minute, I'm going to tell you about this lawsuit. $7.5 million, and wait till we tell you what happened. Woodsy, what do you got for us in sports? Real quickly, San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum, the two-time Cy Young, nicknamed the Freak, has asked his team, the San Francisco Giants, for $21.5 million for next year's salary. Fathers, take the time to play catch with your sons and really just encourage them to get into baseball. It's guaranteed money. He's eligible for free agency after the 2013 season.

2:34:46That would be a hell of a year's pay. Oh, my. Only problem is you have to go watch the game, so. Oh, my God. Might as well bring a magazine. Oh, wow. Or educate yourself. Yeah. I'd fire you up. Today at 11.15, we'll be at Cheesecake. What's up, dude? What? You trailed off. Uh, so come on down. What? What? Mike. Today at 11.15, we'll be at Cheesecake. He had a stroke, I think. Yes. He's Zickler. Hey, at 11.15, we will be at the Cheesecake Factory at Fashion Valley. Here in Mission Valley. 11.15. Mikey and a toupee. It's going to be good. 11.15, Cheesecake Factory. 11.15, Cheesecake Factory, Mission Valley, Fashion Valley. Peace. A guy won $7.5 million in a lawsuit. He got into a motorcycle crash. This guy was from El Cajon. He does not live here anymore, but it happened in 2007. So he's riding his motorcycle to his job at the Navy base here in San Diego. A van cut him off. He crashed. He was thrown from his motorcycle. He suffered a serious pelvic injury because of the impact on his pubic ramus bone. I don't need you. I said, yeah. This is where I'd turn your mic off. I don't need you. But you can't. I know. Don't.

2:36:14His pubic ramus bone. The crash actually shortened his penis. What's a penis? What is a penis? You guys stop it. Mike, what's a penis? You know what he is. I said it wrong. I knew I could get through this story like an adult. A wave of embarrassment on your face. Priceless, yes. So his penis was short. Gosh, shut up. Forever be known as a penis. From here to for. No, it will not. No, it will not. It will forever be known as a penis. I find it less offensive. Yes, me too. No, it won't. Yes, it will. And it is. Yes. We say stuff like that all the time. No, it will be. It's a penis. I'm going to need that isolated. Absolutely.

2:37:23He sued for damages. The van was one of the shuttles from a car dealership. The driver was not a U.S. citizen. Had an expired driver's license. And last week, a jury awarded Matthew $7.5 million. It's not enough. It ain't enough. He'll never come up short again. In fact, it's the opposite. He's always going to come up short. No, no, he's got money now. But he's going to come up short. No, he's got money. You can't buy an inch and a half. You see, Wood? Yes, Jay? I've been waiting on that line ever since this story came out. Since 4 a.m. When Mike read the story, I was going to say, I guess you came here short. No, you just came to me on the fly. Did it? Did it, Jay?

2:38:18Did it come to you on the fly? Because you blurted it out. It sounded premeditated. It sounded premeditated. If this is jury of your peers, that was premeditation, my friend. It seemed like it. It came up short. It came up short. It came up short. Why? It sounds like it came up short. You always know when Jay has pre-thought. Yeah, he's mad. You always know when Jay has pre-thought. pre-thought up a line because he blurts it out like a cannonball. I have two seconds to get out before you talk. Like a cannonball blasting out of a cannon. And the silence before he does it is deafening. So it's like, come on short, Mike. It sounds like you came up short. Gotta get it in. I love it. Now, how'd they measure? I wonder. What do you mean? They take his word for it? Oh, I get what you're saying. What if they had to cut some bruised or damaged area off?

2:39:26But you would think it would be... I'm not kidding. Go ahead, go ahead. Unexcited. It was. It was. That's the deal. Oh, so wait. So it's that unexcited. Yeah, and an inch and a half is a lot of length. Well, here's the thing. I am not kidding you when I tell you. If I could donate a part of my body for that guy... I don't think you can. I got a couple inches to spare if he wants them. I can throw them his way. I think your eyelids are made of the same kind of skin. Can you get a transplant? Can you get a cadaver? Chocolates. Lauren, can you get a cadaver? Oh, my God. Did he say chocolates after that? Yeah, he said a cadaver. A cadaver. Dang it. I think he meant a cadaver. I do, too. Same thing. I think so. I think that's what he meant. Same thing. Cadaver. You guys? M1 Rob from Claremont. Yo, bro, that comes out to like $5 million an inch. And then after the attorney fees, it's like $2.5 million an inch. So that's not worth it, bro. Yeah, I think he deserves way more than that. There's not enough money in the world. I wonder if everything still functions. Probably does. It's just damaged. And embarrassing. I was reading an article in Rolling Stone about Chaz Bono, and they are currently working on sculpting him out.

2:41:09So maybe they gave him the money to cover the costs of if he wants to get reconstructive penal enlarges. Well, it's damages. Well, yeah, that too. Emotional. Maybe it was worked into the amount. Look, you lose an inch and a half off your forearm, you're going to be okay. You lose an inch and a half off your manhood. You can lose an inch and a half anywhere but there. Oh, man. Poor guy. And it's a story every time. Probably gets a little stage fright. And one Elena from Chula Vista. Good morning. Good morning. How funny I called you in the penis story. It's not penis. It's penis. I made a mistake. I made a mistake. I made a mistake. I made a mistake. She said that. I prefer that. But anyway, I just want to say, I am a new listener. And you guys are great. You guys are pretty good. My son was telling me about you. And that I should listen to you. And I did yesterday. And I'm back today. Nice.

2:42:17Starting with the penis story. I love you. Gosh darn, I hope that don't go. Oh, it's caught on. That thing's spreading like herpes, pal. You know why I don't want it to stick? Because I don't want to be the one known for it. Yeah, penis. You wish it was me or Jay. Yes. No, it's you. It's you. You're the penis. People walking up to me at church. Didn't you do the penis joke? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Messed up a word. I'm sorry. What were you trying to say, Mike? Well, it's contagious. We've all done it, and it's contagious. Being around Jay Isbell, who constantly does it, it makes us, we're bad now. Yeah, I was doing it on stage last night. I wanted to smack myself. No way. Oh, man. Blubbing my words. Oh, my gosh. In your stand-up comic, it's tough to do that. Yeah. It's hard to get to the punchline when you stutter. Oh, God. So listen to this. If you're listening right now, you're a dude and you're married and you got kids and your wife is a homemaker. How much is her job worth? Rebecca and I were having a discussion the other day and it was a what you would call spirited discussion. Very spirited. Love that.

2:43:42In the midst of our spirited discussion, the fact that she stays at home came up. And I had just made the point that I have a job and that I contribute in that way. And I hadn't thought in my head, oh, and she goes, she goes, I have a job too. And in that moment, I knew. Holy cow. Like she's 150% right. Way worse. Oh. Way worse. And listen, you know how when you're in the middle of a spirited conversation with your wife, you want to be right. Always. On that one, I gave up. I rolled over, showed my belly, and I said, okay, yes, I know, and I'm sorry. like the white flag. But then I went right back. I mean, but listen to this. How much is it actually worth to be a homemaker? Well, if you were to consider the fact that, okay, let's say she's doing the cooking. If you hired a private chef, it would cost you $52,260 a year. If your wife does the cleaning around the house, that would cost you $6,136 a year.

2:45:16Your wife take care of the kids? That would cost you $31,200 a year. Does your wife drive the kids around? That would cost, for a personal driver, $4,168 a year. Oh, does she wash your clothes? Because if you hired a laundry service to do the same exact job, it would cost you $936 per year. Woods. Has your wife ever mowed the lawn? Yeah, a bunch of times. That would cost you $1,560 per year. The bottom line is, what she does is worth $96,261 per year. That's a lot of dough. That's a lot of coin. Now, when I read it, I was like, oh, wow. And it's...

2:46:27It, listen. Yeah. Respeto. I got mad respect for that. That is absolutely not. And I, I'd never really thought of it in terms of that. But if you got groceries delivered to your house, which is basically what she's doing, she's delivering groceries to your house. She's doing a lot of, and probably working just as hard, if not, in my case, Woods' case, and Jay's case, Way harder than we work. Oh, yeah. A billion times. 570-1949. This is M1 Chad from San Diego. Are you there, Chad? Yeah. I was just listening to that. It seems like those numbers are a little inflated. I mean, obviously, if you wanted to have a full-time person doing all those jobs, it might cost you a lot of money.

2:47:28You're only doing those jobs for a short amount of time. You know what I mean? Well, this is yearly. If you think of it by the year, if she's cooking for you for the year, it's 52 grand if you had a private chef. Yeah, if you have a private chef, you're not eating what typical woman's cooking. You know what I mean? Have you had private chef grade meals? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. In some cases, aren't you having better than that? Because home cooking is, that's why it's called home cooking. It's good. What about that? Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Chad, what about the child care? $31,200 a year. I go maybe a quarter of that is legitimate. I mean, if you're doing child care, you're dealing with multiple kids. So you say, yeah, that's about six grand a year. No way. To take care of kids. Factually incorrect. I think my brother pays, like, way more than that a month. You're looking at, like, a little under $20 if you want them in a daycare facility. If you want one-on-one care, that's pretty much on par. Chad, laundry service $936 a year if she's doing your laundry. Yeah, if you can get her to do it consistently. It's not like it's a, you know, she's doing it all the time. These numbers are out of control. I mean...

2:48:54Child care, you pay somebody child care to watch because it's not their kid. I mean, this is her kid. You know what I mean? You're being a parent, not being child care. So what if she wanted to work, though? That's actually a pretty good point. No, but if you want to go to, you're foregoing what the child care costs would be by staying home. Yeah, that's true. If she wanted to go to work, you'd have to pay. Exactly. If she didn't do it, you'd be paying that amount. You'd have to pay someone to do it. Yeah, and she'd be paying for her own hair to get done and buying her own clothes and paying for her own room and board. The list goes on and on. I mean, that's the trade-off. Room and board. Did you just say room and board? Did you just say room and board? I thought I just heard you say room and board. That's so weird. It sounded like room and board. And you can't say that because it's your wife. Right. Well, this is breaking it down just in a different way. It's looking at it from that perspective the same way that this list that you were just talking about with what the woman should make for the job that she does. It's room and board. That's what's being received for said job. Is he right? No, he's not right. No, if she was able to go to work instead of staying home with the kids and doing all these little things that she's doing.

2:50:10Then she could go make money and pay for her own room and board or hair care. If you keep calling it room and board, she's going to go out and get her own room and board. Your wife will get. Are you married, Chad? Well, I mean, no, I'm not. I was married. In my former case, I paid for tennis lessons in Del Mar, paid for a car. Oh, God. You know. Well, that's excessive. I think the numbers are out of control. I don't know, man. I think that if you add up what a woman does, if she's a stay-at-home mom, I actually think 96K might be conservative. It's a little low. Okay, start paying it. Oh, God. Well, I don't want to do that, but the reason I don't want to... Well, wait a minute, though. My wife is doing... I mean, that's the beauty of it, is that I don't have to pay it because she's willing to do it. Yeah. And it's a hard...

2:51:11Well. She gets room and board, clothes, her hair done. Stop saying room and board. It's not room and board. She shares a home. I mean, what's the alternative? She's not going to live outside. Is she going to rent an apartment down the street? You make sex to your wife, so you'd have to pay a prostitute. Does that make sense? Yeah, that's true. That doesn't make sense. Yeah, it doesn't. You wouldn't. I don't know. This guy's a dead man. I would put a higher price on that section of the job. Well. Thank you for the call, Chad. You're welcome. Thank you. That was a spicy, spicy meatball. Yeah. A little bit. M1 Christina from Otay Mesa, are you there? Yeah. What did you want to say? This guy is out of it. Okay, first of all, your wife can say no to sex, and you have to be okay with it, because what she does...

2:52:06She does every single day. It doesn't matter if it's midnight. Sometimes I have to wash my son's clothes at midnight. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. What? Christina, what if we have a deal where I won't say no to sex if you won't? Well, I mean, why wouldn't I say no to sex? I get tired sometimes from all the work I do as a stay-at-home mom. Hey, as a husband, that's what you say as a husband. You say, listen, I won't say no. It's not a fair trade-off. Is it? Yeah, that's the power of the V. No, even my husband says no sometimes. Like, I mean, he's tired. He works sometimes. And, like, you know, I get tired, too. But I'm like, hey. Hey, babe. Like, let's do it tonight. And he's like, no, I'm tired. And I respect that. Because when I say no, I'm tired. Like, he respects that. And honestly, like, okay, I'm pregnant, too. And I take care of a three-year-old.

2:53:04I have one car right now because our other car, just, you know, bad times. We got to repossess. I drive my husband from Crest to Otay every day. I go back home. I take care of everything. I walk a freaking 70-pound pit bull. I do laundry. I clean. I cook. I do all this stuff. And it's like it is worth that much. This guy is insane, and that's why he's not married anymore. Seriously. What you do is worth a lot of money. Yeah, there's no question. It is. And, like, there's more. Like, okay, sometimes I have to be a nurse. You know, sometimes I have to be the garbage man. I have to do nasty stuff sometimes. I have to be a plumber once. Prostitute sometimes. Yeah, sometimes nasty. Sometimes you have to be the prostitute. Stripper. Stripper sometimes. Or less. She's pregnant. Yeah. Oh, never mind. I will. But she may have stripped to get pregnant. Strippers can be pregnant too. For her husband. True statement. No, I mean, I, no. I got pregnant on accident, okay? She'll get a lot out of you. Keep her on the phone. Get her bank code here in a minute. Listen, Christina, I don't know if you know how it works, but it's not an accident. I mean, it's been prevented, but it wasn't, like, expected. Was it planned? It wasn't planned, but we knew that it could happen. But I wasn't, like, trying to make it happen.

2:54:23Feels real good. Yeah, it does. He didn't, like, trip and fall. Yeah, that's an accident. That's an accident, okay? An accident is when he trips on a banana and gets you pregnant. I think she tripped on the banana. Yes. I don't know. We're a very clumsy couple, so. Well, then it could have. Maybe that is it. Thank you for the call. Great. That's a long time. Hey, Mike, you catch my dress. Banana looks like a penis. Yeah, it looks like a penis, Mac. You got some adrift, Mac? Let's just stop with the penis. Penis. Yo, coming up. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42 pens. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. This is what the beauty of AT&T U-verse is. You.

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2:56:32Additional charge for wireless receiver. Price for UFamily TV. New customers after six months. Standard rate applies. Taxes and other charges apply. $36 TV activation fee. For details, go to att.com slash tvdetails. What's up there, unicorn toot? It's Hillary with some shells for you to go check out. On the 27th, San Diegans, the Howells, are having their CD release party. Sarah Watkins of Nickel Creek will sit in with them that night. Also playing, Jesse LaMonica on the Dime Novels and Family Wagon. That's going to be a good night of music at the Casbah. Now to Surf Road 4th and B on the 28th. Dr. Dog hits the belly up February 7th. Young the Giant plays Soma February 10th. And you can see Craig Finn of The Hold Steady at the Casbah February 19th. The Red Hot Chili Peppers show that was supposed to be February 29th is now happening September 23rd. And still to come this year, shows from Flogging Molly, Flag Wagon. Colts, Rise Against, and the Ting Tings and Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today.

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2:59:01created in the U.S. economy now through 2018, will be in the healthcare industry. Want to know where the good-paying jobs are and what they pay? At California College San Diego, they've put together a free short brochure called Today's Jobs, Where They Are, and What They Pay. Call and give them your email address, and they'll send you this free report. Find out about today's hottest job opportunities. Call California College San Diego at 1-800-390-6489. That's 1-800-390-6489. 1-800-390-6489. At your nearby Stater Brothers, we know you're always looking for great value without compromising quality. That's why we continue to offer you the products you love for less, the quality you've come to expect, and the friendly service you deserve. This week, why not plan a family barbecue? Get any size package of beef loin bone-in New York steak. A real deal at $3.99 a pound. And save on Randall Farms' moist and tender grade A boneless skinless chicken breasts. Now only $1.99 a pound for the convenient family pack. The 18-ounce package of fresh blueberries is our lowest price of the year at just $2.99.

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3:02:37Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. This report, it's brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it, decide. Tell them at facebook.com. All right, the 52. It's kind of slow here. The 52 westbound, the ramp from the 125, it's 11 miles an hour. As you travel on the 5 northbound, you've got to back up from 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard, all the way down to about E Street. And then traveling over on the 54 westbound, Point Parkway seems to be the slow spot there, about 13 miles an hour. This report brought to you by H&R Block. With H&R Block Office Online, Mobile, and Block Live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever. However you like, H&R Block, never settle for less. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. I'd like to thank my wife, Rebecca, and Woods' wife, Jamie, for kind of...

3:04:25What do you call it? Teaming up? Guilting into. Yeah. Oh, that is the perfect way to put it. You actually couldn't guilt somebody more than they guilted us. They Catholiced you. Yeah, they Catholiced us. Oh, a hundred. Real good. Yeah, it was the same thing that, Rebecca did the same thing with the TV show Lost. And Jamie, Woods' wife, and my wife, Rebecca, are friends and did the same thing to us about American Idol. Yeah. Yep. And I don't want to watch it. Nor do I. And in fact, it kind of goes against everything I believe in as a cover artist. You're crazy. I believe you'll love it. Yeah, you will. I believe it. Especially the first part. You know what? I'll give you that. I do like when people are bad. That's funny to me. Yeah? Those are good. It's funny to me too. When it gets super serious, that's what slays me. You're going to have a favorite. Yeah. I mean, you'll get invested. I just don't want to get invested. Well, the bottom line is that they guilted us into watching this show. Yeah, you're watching it. This horrid, horrendous show. Now, Woods feels that way. That Eddie Vedder would never watch. And I have to. Yeah, well, I don't necessarily try to do as Eddie Vedder does. I does. I does. You does? I does. He's English.

3:05:49I does. Gosh, darn it. Are you going to hold that over my head for everything? My penis? Yes, I am going to hold my penis over your head. I can never call you on a word. A guy pronounced his penis wrong once. Once. And you just hold it over his head. Yeah. Like a penis. Like a penis. Penish. What were we talking about? American Idol. Speaking of penis. Yeah. We're talking about American Idol. Well, we have to watch it now. Like we committed and we said, fine, because both of our wives are such rabid fans. And when American Idol's on, here's me. See you later, babe. And I watch a movie and she watches it and we're apart. I'm not like Woods. I don't, you know. You're not callous. No, it's not that. It's just that I don't think to myself, wow, would Eddie Vedder do this? Eddie would go. I try to blaze that trail. What do you mean, blaze that trailer? I don't want to necessarily do what someone else is doing. I want to blaze my own. He has a WWED bracelet on. What would Eddie Vedder do? Well, if he didn't think it was cool, which he wouldn't, and most musicians don't, most big rock guys that I like, maybe I would be. What if Eddie Vedder said, no, I think that's really cool for those artists. I'd be up a creek. I'd be up S. Creek. My deal is...

3:07:13I don't like to watch TV. I only like to watch documentaries. I know, and I only like to watch movies. Yeah, so we now have to watch this. Great family time. That's what it boils down to for both of us is time with our wives, doing something that they want to do, therefore making Mike and I unselfish in that regard for once. What are the chances that you'll get so invested that you'll go over to Mike's house to watch it with him, therefore negating the hangout with my wife? Close possibility. So is there anything that doesn't fire you up but should fire you up? Let me give you an example. Darfur. What's Darfur? Exactly. I have a couple. Go ahead. Sopa and Pippa. Should fire you up. Obamacare? Obamacare. Like we should know. These are the things that we should care about, know about. Is it things that we're ignorant about and we don't care to learn? Yes. That's it. That's it. I should know. I should too. About Obamacare. Boy, people have tried to get me invested in Occupy and in Ron Paul and in SOPA and PIPA. But unless it's a freaking projection of the Yankees starting rotation next year, I'm out. Yeah. I mean, that's just me. Yeah. I'm an ignorant. Call me whatever you want. I'm ignorant. And for me, if you want to talk to me about guys that are eating really strange foods on television in different countries.

3:08:45I'm into that all day long. Weird monsters in a swamp? Yep. In. In. Hunter. That doesn't make me a bad guy, nor you would. Well, the bit that we get all the time is, listen, you're in the media. You have to be informed on every single thing out there. And that's just not possible. Well, wait, wait, wait. Here's my take on that one. My take on that one is, that's not what we do. Right. Well, they called that a cop. When I told them yesterday, look, we're comedians. They said, you're a P word and that's a cop out. Whoa. And I said, all right, perfect. The more time you spend on Facebook, the more you think your life is better or worse. We'll tell you next.

3:09:51Part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Eventually, it's going to happen. You'll turn the key and your engine won't start. When your battery loses its power, you lose your ability to get out, get around, and get things done. When it's time to replace your battery, trust the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts to help you choose the SuperStart battery that's an exact fit for your vehicle. Whether it's a reliable economy, hardworking premium, or powerful extreme, O'Reilly Auto Parts has the SuperStart battery you need in stock at a guaranteed low price. Don't let a dead battery slow you down. Visit O'Reilly Auto Parts today for a reliable, hard-working SuperStart battery you can count on. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts. Better prices. Every day.

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3:16:11for less this report it's brought to you by chapstick chapstick brand asks do green apple kisses taste better than cherry both protect and moisturize your lips but which is a better kiss try it decide tell them at facebook.com slash chapstick We've got a problem here. Sweetwater Springs Boulevard at the 94 eastbound, a stalled vehicle. Another problem on the 47th Street on-ramp to the 805 northbound. There's somebody walking around there. And a couple accidents. One on the 94 westbound right past 28th Street. Doesn't look like any injuries. Somebody's waiting on a tow truck here on the 163 southbound right before the 5 north. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us now is a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program.

3:17:09I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. I gotta get it. I have no idea. Fam. Journey. Journey. Majestic. I'm all the way in. The more time you spend on Facebook, the more likely you are to believe that everyone's life is better than yours. Sucks! No way. Woods, I'm with you. There is no way. Yes way. Yes way. Really? Why L.O.B.? Because it just seems like people are doing exciting things like going on vacation, getting engaged. Hiking, biking. Utah Valley University agrees with L.O.B. and Jay and does not agree with me and Woods. They did a study and found that people that spend more time on Facebook are more likely to believe that everyone's lives...

3:19:00are more exciting and happy and fun than theirs. Me and Woods, I think we're on the same page if we think, man, we see a lot of complaining. Gosh darn. I see complaining about going to work. I see complaining about their car. I see complaining about... Vague booking. Vague booking. I see a lot of vague booking. I see a lot of complaining about relationships. You have those problems, too. You just don't air them. So when I see those things, I'm like, come on, clown. Well, see, I guess I wonder, well, what do I see more? Do I see people like talking about how great things are? I don't. I only focus on the fun ones. Like everything else. Oh, God. Oh, Mike. I only focus. See, I can't. I don't see them. You're half empty. I'm half full. Well, you look more than half full. You just called them half empty. Just mentally. That one got Nicole. She is going to be the new LOB that likes to laugh at all the fat jokes. Yeah. It's a good bit. If you can get it, it's a good bit. Yeah, man, I look and all I see is, my boss, I don't want to go to work, or your freaking podcast. That's it. I'm done, and I'm out. Let's see. Let me go down the list. All right, I'm going down the list here. This guy says, and this is just my news feed. I won't say any names. This guy says, said goodbye to the love of my life this morning.

3:20:34So that one's real sad. That sucks. This next one, this girl says, deadbeat dads are the real trash of the world. True statement. This next one says, driving my favorite truck again. Heading out for my first job this hitch. Hope it's real busy. Hope it's real busy this hitch. That's positive. Saw this sandwich in my last issue of Bon Appetit. Viking. And was dying to try one but had no idea where to get it. I don't know. Those strike me as mostly down, not necessarily uplifting. What do you think? Your feed. I don't know. I just see that stuff and I glaze over it because it's boring. I see the stuff where I'm like, gosh, another trip to Costa Rica? Another engagement ring?

3:21:38Oh, yeah. Nice. You guys bought a new house. Oh, that's nice. Just people moving on with their lives real good. Just doing cool stuff. Yeah. I see, yeah, the one, you know, hey, we just had our third kid. Perfect. We don't have kids, so we want one. I see. Yeah, just lost 20 pounds. Yeah. You'll be seeing that from your boy. See? About three months. Oh, that's going to sting too. See people like finishing marathons, stuff like that. You're like, oh gosh, I just sat on my butt. Are you, are you, uh, you're saying that's what I say there, LLB? I, I was saying I do, but you should say that. I look at, I look at Facebook and I feel pretty blessed in my life. That is a true statement. That's really sweet, Woods. Thank you, man. It's really sweet. Just thankful, you know, for this job. You guys, my friends, my family. Yeah. Yeah. This city. My God. What do we ever have to complain about? It's perfect here. The ocean's here. It's, uh, you know. It's beautiful. Got my health. It's really beautiful. Somewhat. Somewhat of my health. Yeah. It's really great. Things are getting pretty serious. Not too much to complain about. But that didn't stop some. I'm glad you said that. Thank you for saying that. You're welcome. You're welcome, Chubbs.

3:23:06Well said. He deserve to die. Well, I mean, that's harsh. That's harsh. Let's see. We have 94 minutes of music that we're about to kick off. Oh, yeah. Booyah. Nine o'clock, we kick off 94 minutes of music. It's pretty rad. On a Delta Airlines flight recently, they had to land because there was a very unruly couple. in first class that was demanding food and champagne. My God. First time in first class? Yeah. No question. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. I'm glad we won this on Process Right. That's right. I done bid that $1. Who knew? I knew you was going to bid the dollar, and I was so happy you did. You always got to bid the dollar. They always go over. Hey.

3:24:14How come we don't have no lobster for champagne? I don't know. This is a sham. Skinny. Skinny. Hey, Sham Airline, give me some lobsters. Champagne ain't going to pour itself. That's right. My girlfriend's done cold, too. She's wearing a bikini. You want to go in the champagne room, baby? Is that what the laboratory is? The champagne room. I'll do the lap dance. We'll make lap. Yeah, but we'll do it. We can do it in first class, you're allowed. You going to the bathroom? No, you do it up here. They let you. Toilet water's blue like at Grandma's. I love to watch it swirl. Me too, baby. You still talking about the toilet? I am. Oh, you dirty little bird. You're a dirty bird. Where the hell's that lobster? Seriously. Sarah? I want a steak stewardess. Her name's Sarah, baby. Oh, Sarah's stewardess.

3:25:18Sarah, I don't care if I'm lying. Don't flirt with her. Baby, I ain't flirting. You know you're the only girl for me. Come here, let's kiss. You got some big old boobies, girl. That's right. Look at everybody. Baby, show them to the people back in the coach. I did once. I did again. Yeah, you should do it again. I'm proud of them. Hey, y'all. Hey, y'all. Look at this girl's boobies. This is my girl. Bet you wish you could have them, sleeping guy. This one's getting a little lazy. That ain't lazy, girl. You just ain't holding it right. Wow. You just ain't holding it right. You just ain't holding it right. All right. Well, listen, the lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. Enjoy.

3:26:21The rest of your day, we'll see you a day at Cheesecake Factory. Cheesecake Factory. At 11.15. Mikey in a toupee. Yep. 11.15, suckers. 11.15. Come on. Mikey shows up. Get it. Financial Media Station. Setting the pace for a good day. It's 94 at 9. 94 minutes of continuous commercial-free music every Monday through Friday at 9 a.m. Guaranteed. FM 94.9 is about the music.