The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/07/12
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
personal spacebackpack nicknamebirthday shoutoutstexas cheerleaders bookthin dong parodycannon explosionschool layoffsword of the day barkpeyton manningsuper tuesdaynewt gingrichrobert sherman
The hosts Woodsy, L-O-B, and Jaybird discussed personal space and the backpack nickname, celebrated birthdays including Wanda Sykes and Jenna Fisher, and shared a story about L-O-B's wife appearing in a Texas cheerleaders book. They aired a parody song about Jay Isbell's 'thin dong', discussed a tragic cannon explosion that killed Ricky Fox's wife, and debated the San Diego Unified School District's plan to lay off 1,600 employees. The show featured games like the Incorporator (with a glue prank) and the Gas Price is Right, plus imaginative celebrity impersonations and a debate about Miley Cyrus's tweet linking to physicist Lawrence Krauss.
What happened, in order
Personal Space Standoff
Woodsy and L-O-B argue over personal space after Woodsy's Mick Jagger birdface stare and his offer to sit on L-O-B's lap.
Backpack Nickname and Gasket
Woodsy explains how his 'Backpack' nickname originated from a gasket blowing off when he left the studio early, angering Jaybird.
Birthday Shoutouts
The hosts wish happy birthday to celebrities including Wanda Sykes, Jenna Fisher, Peter Sarsgaard, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Texas Cheerleaders Book
L-O-B reveals her wife Jamie appears in a Texas cheerleaders book, showing a photo of her doing toe touches with her squad.
Thin Dong Parody
Woodsy performs a parody song about Jay Isbell's 'thin dong' that plumps when cooked.
Cannon Explosion Tragedy
Ricky Fox's homemade cannon misfires, shooting into his trailer and killing his wife Jeanette Ogara Fox.
School Layoffs Discussion
The hosts criticize the San Diego Unified School District's plan to lay off 1,600 employees due to a $124 million budget cut.
Incorporator Glue Prank
L-O-B pranks Woodsy by putting Elmer's glue in his hand lotion during the Incorporator game, causing his hands to peel.
People mentioned
MikeWoodsyStevenL-O-BLauren O'BrienJaybirdBillEmilyJay IsabelM1 ChocoM1 ScoobyM1 GaryM1 BradM1 Sanjaya
35,404 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Mike is out sick again today, so it's me, Woodsy, L-O-B, and Jaybird is Bill. Did you just refer to yourself as two separate people? Me, Woodsy? Yeah. Yeah. It's me, Steven, and Woodsy is here. Both of you guys are here. Screening phones for us is Emily. Little 19-year-old, diminutive, not diminutive, demure is the word I'm looking for. She's not super tall, but I don't want to go as far as to call her short. Is that an insult if somebody calls you short? No? No. Okay. Isn't it? Well, we're going to have some fun today. We have a lot of good stuff planned. Man, I actually tried my hand this morning at the parody writing about a certain friend of mine, and he sits right in front of me. His name's Jay Isabel. He's sitting in front of me today. Yeah. And he actually, I wanted to let our listeners know that he is wearing a shirt right now. It's a red shirt. It's flaming red. Yes. It's blood red. Fire engine red. Fire engine red. There's a picture of himself on it. That's right. And beneath it, it says Mr. Perfect. And he has also decided to match said flaming red shirt with some camouflage shorts. Yeah. Looks real good. Do you get dressed in the dark?
An M1 made me this shirt. I know. An M1 made me one that said Hollywood's with my picture on it, and my wife sleeps in it, which is very sweet. I'd like to see that. Well, we're going to get right into it. Ice beaver. Oh, my gosh. It's my wife. That makes no sense, dude. You are following the line, my friend. Doesn't it really make a lot of sense? Maybe more sense than it's ever made. Well, how's everyone doing this morning? Everybody feeling good? No. No? Okay. LLB feels like crap? Yes. Tell me about it. She looks good, though. Yeah, she does look good. She always looks good. She has her Amelia Earhart on. Oh, thank you. Did you just fly in? She has a bomber jacket on. Yes, I did, Jay. How'd you know? I just flew in. Your arms must be tired. Better watch out. Yeah. Hey, I'm telling you. Yeah. I just flew in. I, earlier this morning, I scooted. L.O.B. and I sit right next to each other. If you've never been in the studio, we sit, you know, if she puts her arm out, we're overlapping arms, okay?
That's how close we sit to each other. I scooted my chair over. I looked at her computer because I wanted to see what we were going to do. No, you did more than that. Did I? You did more than that. Well, I'll tell my side and then you tell yours. All right. So I scooted my chair over just to look and see, hey, what are we doing in the 530 break? Because people like when you look over their shoulder when they're working. Oh, my God. So I just was looking. I wasn't trying to bother. She goes, you're making me very nervous. You were doing the Mick Jagger birdface stare. Absolutely not. Yes. Absolutely not. You don't really have like a comfort. zone that people... You don't have that, but I do. I don't have the personal space issue. If you wanted to, this break, you could sit on my lap. It never bothers you. Come sit on my lap. And we'll do the whole break if you're sitting on my lap. It's not going to bother me one bit. I have a personal space issue as it is, and I'm sick. You know what? I'll move over here. No, that's too far away.
That doesn't feel right to me. You've got to be right there. It doesn't feel right. It was the Mick Jagger bird face. I did not do any sort of... What are you doing? I was trying to be helpful. I was just trying to be helpful. By what? By looking over your shoulder. How has that ever... And telling me what you're doing wrong. How has that ever helped? Crazy. She's not crazy. Isn't she? Everybody on this show... has their little peccadilloes okay jay's peccadillo and by peccadillo i mean something that uh bothers them jay doesn't like when i leave the studio before anybody else if i if if my work is done okay if my work is done and i decide hey i'm gonna get to the gym and go work out or i'm gonna go home and sleep eat donuts he He gets furious. It makes him, when I put that backpack on, he gets so freaking mad at me. Even though you get here beforehand. Hits the name. Backpack. My new nickname has been Backpack. Backpack. I threw it on one day like I was going to run out the door. Yeah. Threw it up on my shoulder. I'm a Woods. Hey, look at me. Look at me. I'm pulling my back. Anybody need anything? Okay, I'm out of here. Woods. He blew a gasket. Yeah, the gasket, the steam reached the end of the gasket and the gasket flew off the top. That's crazy.
Well, welcome. Call us right now, 570-1949, if you would like to say hello. This is our, we like to consider the 530 break kind of the warm-up break. Floosey-goosey. Floosey-goosey. I'm going to need to see your sports stories, too, Woods. I want to see what you're doing later today. You can if you want. No way. For 100% honesty, I haven't even looked at sports yet. Oh, okay. Well, because. I got to do the news. We got to get, you know, all this stuff. We got to figure out what's up, who's doing what, who's going where, all that stuff. So I'll get to sports this break. Oh, who is that? Scared me to death. It's Jesse. It's Jesse. I'm seeing reflections in the mirror over there. Hey, do you guys remember the story about the three firefighters that we talked about? It was probably a week ago. Three firefighters in Normal Heights apparently jumped a guy, beat him up, and stole his phone, wallet, all that stuff. Well, now the district attorney has decided, well, they're deciding whether or not they're going to press charges against these firefighters. No charges have been filed yet. They posted bail. They got out. And we don't know if they're going to prosecute these guys at all if they have a case. And I always think about, like, think about when you go out or when you've gone out before, if there is. Now, this happened right after everybody left the bar. Nothing good happens after you leave a bar.
Not at 2 o'clock. And if somebody's running mouth at 2 o'clock in the morning, we've all been there. LLB, you probably haven't been there, but you've seen it. Oh, I've seen it. Yeah, you've seen it. It's bad. It is bad. And, you know, nothing good is going to happen if one guy's running mouth and then the other guy's got three guys with him or two guys with him. It's not going to be pretty. But, you know, these days you can't fight. No. You can't get in a fight. Just don't do it. You cannot punch somebody in the face anymore. You cannot get punched in the face anymore. Remember the good old days where you could be like, hey, man, you can't say to somebody anymore, hey, let's step outside and settle it like men. Because you're going to go to jail for assault. You're going to have a felony. These guys, if they get prosecuted and convicted, their careers are over for a drunken, stupid brawl. I have been on the cusp of many. Drunken, stupid brawls. And, oh, back when I was, you know, going out like this, I was always in a fight. What's always? Always. Just throwing a beer on someone's head count as starting a fight. Yes. You've done that. I would have been in trouble. Was it a woman? No, a man. A man. You threw a beer on someone's head? Like a cup of beer? A glass of Guinness on two separate occasions. That's a good waste of Guinness. I know. You did that twice. Yes. Once in PB, once in Chicago. Was that your bit? Yeah, I didn't want to swing.
A guy called me a C word in Chicago. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. You get a beard in the face. You threw it right in his face. Oh, yeah. Full. Did you know him? No, I didn't know him. He was a stranger. He was feeling up my sister-in-law. And so I threw a cup of beer. Oh, no. I was like, hey, hands yourself, buddy. And then he was like, shut up, you little C word. And so, bam, right in the face. Wow. That word will elicit a response from women. Did you know that? If you didn't know that, it will elicit. That's pretty much one of the worst words you can call up. Yeah, absolutely. M1 Choco is calling in from El Cajon. What is up? Hey, good morning. Good morning. Hey, I just wanted to let you guys know, I love the hybrid show just like the regular show, just as much. Thank you, man. Thank you so much. I caught whatever was going around, but I'm a soldier, so I'm here. Yeah, look at that. Now, you caught this from your boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, your fiance. Yes, and I was actually not going to correct you. Yes, I took care of him for a couple days, nursed him back to health, and now I am suffering from what he suffered from. Oh, man, that is terrible. Hey, M1 Scooby from New Jersey.
Is on the line. Are you in New... You're not in New Jersey. I'm in Jersey, dude. What are you doing in Jersey? Just cracking skulls or what? That's right. You know, I'm flexing the muscle, baby. What are you doing up there? No, I'm working. My work's got me out here for some stuff to do. Nice, dude. Nice. What's going on with you? It's cold. Yeah. Yeah. What's it like right there? I literally got blue stuff. Blue stuff. Blue stuff. Bait and tackle. Yeah. Blue nethers, we can just say. We'll say blue nether. Bait and tackle. It was like... Do you know what a little bee I am? Yesterday, it was, what, 54 here? Yeah. I walked outside and was like, yeah, and got into my bed and pulled my down comforter up and was like, oh, my God. I had my heat on yesterday. Yeah, the heat was on. Scoob. Yeah, I wanted to ask Lauren. Yes. Is there any good places to eat out here in Jersey? Well, where are you, my friend? I'm in, you know where Lakehurst is? Lakewood area? No, I don't. Did you fly into Newark? No, I flew into Philly and I drove out here. It took me about two hours because I missed my exit twice. Oh, man. I don't know that area. Word of advice to anybody who's not from Jersey and takes the Jersey turnpike.
If you miss your exit, you're not going to get a chance to make a U-turn for at least 30 miles. Yeah, that's the problem. Really? They're not a mile apart, the exits on the turnpike. It sucks. Yeah, you don't know. That's the thing you don't know. It's like one of them is seven miles. The next one could be 27 miles. You are kidding me. No, and then you have to pay. You know, you get a ticket to get on. Yeah, it's like a toll road. Yeah, and then when you get off, you pay a certain. So he probably had to pay, then get another ticket, get back on. Well, no, I flipped the new legal attorney. Oh, wow. Good call. Good call. Always the answer. Sometimes breaking the law is okay. If it's, yeah, it's a road for service vehicles. I'm Mexican. It's in my nature. That's fair enough. Any place where you are, if you get a cheesesteak or a pizza, you'll be in good hands. You'll put it up real good. You know where Point Pleasant is? I do, yeah. I'm kind of close by there. Dang. I would say get some pizza from that area. Yeah. Can't go wrong. They don't do it wrong. And get a bagel, too. There's a place around here called Luigi's, so you can't go wrong with that. Luigi's is good. Get some pizza, maybe some water ice. Hey. Hey. Hey. Thanks, Scoob. We love you, dude. Thanks for calling in, man. Love you, baby. See you. Oh, wow. I like Scoob, dude. He came. Scooby came to, I play in a semi-professional baseball league. It's called the Premier League. And Premier, because it's the Premier. It's almost the top of the heat. All right.
I did stink last week. But Scooby, the best. Scooby is one of our, he's a loyal M1. He's a loyal listener. He came to my game and was screaming at the umpire, which nothing, I've realized like a couple of years ago, I was an umpire screamer. Now I'm just a helmet thrower. Yeah. I got Scooby and some other M1s. I had another M1 that was there last weekend, and he was barking at the umpire. There's nothing better than your fans in there barking at umpires, telling them how bad that they suck. Which was awesome. Scooby was great for that, man. And Scooby is welcome back to our games anytime he chooses to come. If there's room. If there's room. If there's tickets available. Absolutely. Where can other people get tickets just in case? You know, we're on the league that I play for, the Premier League. It's a ticketless league, which is pretty cool. And it's really it's first. How do you guys get paid if you don't have ticket sales? Sponsors. Sponsors. Yeah, the Bang & Burgers Bruins. So you have a sponsor. Yeah, sponsor. You have sponsors. We have one sponsor, Bang & Burgers. So it's like we work on a weekly stipend or what is that? Yeah, you must get a.
Well, the way that it works is that there are league fees that every team has to pay. Oh, so it's a pay-to-play league. Well, we don't. Right, because you've been sponsored. Correct. So you don't pay your fees, but there's fees to be paid. Is there $200 more in my bank account than there would have been if I played on another team? For a whole season? Yeah. How many games? About 20. Oh, wow. Ten bucks? He gets paid ten bucks a game, essentially. Ten bucks a game. Right, but you got 15 guys on the team. So if all of us collectively... I'm just talking about you, though. You as a player. I make about ten bucks a game. Ten bucks a game, wow. It actually costs me about 15 bucks a game to drive because most of our games are out in Chula Vista. Right. But... So you're in the hole. Well, that's part of the problem of being semi-professional. Professional guys, they make a lot of money. We're semi-professional. Well, I remember like little league teams were often sponsored by like a local restaurant or a local business. Well, major league teams are sponsored, you guys. Absolutely. You know, everybody's sponsored. Yeah, like they've got sponsors all over the place. You know, like you look out on the wall and there's like a Budweiser, like it says Bud. Exactly, yeah. That's a sponsor. What's the stadium you play in? Must be sponsored. We played at Hilltop High School. Oh.
Sponsored by a high school. And then we played at, what's the other one we played out in Chula Vista? Montgomery High in Chula Vista. And they're all sponsored by high schools. Well, they're high school fields. So the high schools are sponsored. I don't know. That's not my business. I just know the, I go to the yard and I play ball. I got you. Semi-professionally. The yard. Yeah, we go to the yard. Good time out here. Best be a blast. Everybody has a good time. Well, there's plenty of concessions if you get bored. Yeah, come out this weekend. Well, you can bring your own concessions. Oh. Right. Oh, shoot. Okay, sorry. I misspoke. Oh, that got me so good. Today, Jay, these are birthdays from yesterday. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is a good point. Hey, so we're going to tell you whose birthday it was.
I bet I could tell you from today. I know one that's today. Who? That would be Miss Wanda Sykes. Wanda Sykes? Man! Are you crazy? Why is a guy white cake? I want a black cake! Man! That's identical Wanda Sykes. She's a pretty funny broad dude. Oh, she's hilarious, but it is her birthday today, that much I know. Her stand-up is, it's filthy. Yes. And just, I mean, oozing with just dirt. It's dirty. Her role, well, she plays herself in Curb Your Enthusiasm, but she obviously amps it up. She is phenomenal. That is one show that people are like, Woods, I can't believe you don't watch that show. I can't believe you don't watch that. I heard it's absolutely brilliant. It is amazing. If you like Seinfeld. I love Seinfeld. Well, then you would love Curb Your Enthusiasm. Jenna Fisher turns 38 today. Pam from The Office. I would. Yeah, I would too. Peter Sarsgaard. 41. Oh, yes. He's from Jarhead, Garden State. Maggie Gyllenhaal's. Yeah. Squeeze. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Main squeeze. Yeah. Rachel Wise, 42. Rachel Wise. Or Vice. Rachel Wise. I don't know how that is. She's the, let's see, from The Mummy. Ah. The hot take from The Mummy. The Mummy. Never saw it. You know why I didn't see it? Brendan Fraser. You know why I didn't see it? Because it's called The Mummy. She's also in the latest Bourne movie. Okay.
Okay, all right. Yeah, she's a hot-ay. Good for her. Wanda Sykes, who I said. What? Who just glossed over my birthday? Taylor Dane turns 50 today. Biggest hit, tell it to my heart. Still would. Wow. Let's see, who else? Peter Wolfe. Who's Peter Wolfe? He's a singer. J-U-O-O-F? Peter Wolfe. He turns 66. He's the lead singer of the Jay Giles Band. Centerfold. Jay. Yes. Who is Peter Wolfe? Michael Eisner. He's turned 70. He's the Disney CEO. Oh, yes. And Willard Scott, legendary bald weatherman. That's fair enough. Hey, you know what we should do? Since we didn't tell you yesterday, we should tell you whose birthdays were yesterday. Oh, yeah. Whose birthdays were yesterday. Shaquille O'Neal turned 40 yesterday. This was interesting. I was looking on Jay's outdated birthday list that he gave me. And D.L. Hughley. Turned 49, which, okay, great. Next to it, in parentheses, and this is a true statement, it says, Nubian comedian. Nubian? Nubian. Nubian. Oh, wow. Found that very interesting on Jay's. I didn't know. Jay writes this prep sheet of all the birthdays, so I don't know why he put Nubian comedian from there. That's a weird choice of words. Hey, do you guys, do you know who Kiki D is, L-O-B? Well.
She sang a song with Miss Elton John that everybody likes. Miss Elton John. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of gals out of the town are real good. From your set player? Yeah. Chase Redd. Chase Redd. He's so bad right now. I like that song, man. Yeah, me too. How old is she? She's 65. And one day. And one day. I have a question for you, Jay, because Jay also printed me a list. Yeah, those are a day off. Are these a day off? So drop a day from all of them. I can fix it for you. No, no, I got it. I got it. The purpose of why we're here in the morning is to arm you with information and knowledge that you're going to need throughout the day. Yeah. Hey, if you go to work today, you're going to want to know that in four days, not five, five yesterday. Yes. In four days, daylight savings time is official. Is that unbelievable or what? So spring ahead.
On Saturday night. Yeah. Spring forward. That's right. Yeah. I hate it. I love it. You get more daylight. You get an hour extra. I don't like daylight that much anymore. Yes, you do. No, I don't. I don't. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you that I don't like. You love it. I don't like it. You love it. You're wearing a shirt that says, I love it. I love daylight. Daylight. I like the. I like when it's dark out. 90% of people like it because they don't go to bed in an unreasonable hour. Which we have to. Summer comes around when it stays late or light till 8 o'clock. I'm like... Dang it, because it's hard for me to go to bed. I know. Most people are loving it, especially kids. What else can you do? You can climb later. You can skateboard. You can do anything. Plus, it gets really chilly in San Diego. I know that sounds like such a wuss thing to say, especially since I'm from New Jersey, but the temperature drops drastically, so you can enjoy more warmth. Yeah, more warmth. Great. I love it. It's an hour longer that I have to wear my sleep mask. You wear a sleep mask. I do. Why don't you just shut your eyes?
It's still, I don't like any light. But you nap real good in the middle of the day. No. Yesterday was the first nap I've taken in 2012. Wow. Yesterday. I was real tired yesterday. Yeah, me too. And it felt. I took one. Absolutely amazing. 10 days until St. Paddy's Day. Oh. I have. Faith will be gone. Oh, they're always after my lucky charms. They're magically delicious. That's all you've got? So L.O.B., anyway. Oh, my pot of gold. All right. I have no plans for St. Paddy's Day. I don't do St. Paddy's Day anymore. Well, I have a plan for you. What is it? Come out and see me. I'm going to be hosting at a new comedy club. Are you now? Called the American Comedy Club downtown. Weeknight? No, it's a Saturday. Oh, then I'm in. Freaking Saturday. Freaking Saturday. Then I am in. Yeah.
You have my commitment. It'll be me, Laura O'Brien, hosting for the night. And the other comedian is Christian Finnegan. So we'll be telling Irish jokes. Christian Finnegan. Oh, Brian and Finnegan are real good. That'll be a blast. That will be a blast. And it's downtown. Yes. After that, we all go over to the bootlegger and we make it real right. I've got two shows that day. So you can go to the 8 o'clock show or the 10 o'clock show. You are such a big timer. I know. Look how big time she is. I know. L.O.B. and I are... We'll talk about this later, but I want to tease you with something. I am going to be making my debut at something that makes me very nervous. We'll talk about it later in the show. We have to because it's a huge, huge deal. I know it, right? Yeah, you know it. Oh, yeah. And I'm scared to death. This is a crazy story. Do you guys mind if I tell you a quick story? Last night, I am laying in bed. And my wife, Jamie, works in sales at Staples. She works for Staples Corporate. She's not ringing you up at the cashier lady. So they do a bit where they have to do call day today. That was easy. Exactly. Are you talking about his wife? And her boss wants them to dress up like what they look like in high school. Now, my wife is a little bit older than me. Not much.
Oh, boy. But she graduated high school in 1990. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's a picture of her up on our wall. I'll post it for you on Facebook. She's going to... I'm murdered. But she walks in from the garage and she brings... She has a book in her hand. And it is called... Texas Cheerleaders, The Spirit of America. And it is a book. It's a hardback book. It was written by a creep named John Hawkins. Well, it's John Hawkins. He's writing about Texas Cheerleaders. So I go, why do you have that book? And she's like, because I'm in it. And I go, what do you mean you're in it? On page eight, there is a picture of my wife and her. cheerleading dance troupe from L.D. Bell High School doing toe touches in midair, all in perfect synchronization. I go, we've been together for 10 years. We've been married for four. I have never. You've never told me you were in a book about Texas cheerleaders. Man, she can really get her legs apart. There's three dudes there, too. Is there? Yeah.
We'll have to ask her if they were cool or not. They go to nationals, and they were in nationals, and they did really well. And, you know, listen, she was captain of the cheerleaders. No big deal. No big deal. Did she spell that limber? Oh, gosh. I'm just asking. You know my wife. You're friends with my wife. You're very limber, apparently. Yeah. But, yeah, and then on the right side, I'll also post a picture of the creep that wrote this book. It was identical J. Isbell. But, man, when we come back, we're going to reset and get things going. Thanks for tuning in. And we will be back in a moment. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We now return to a Chevy dealer near you. You okay, Kyle? You look pretty wore out. I had the craziest dream last night. We were here at the dealership offering qualified customers, 0% APR financing on all 2012 Silverados and Traverses. Uh, that's not a dream. It's happening right now, Kyle. It's truck month. Really? Yeah. What about the part where my arms were espresso machines and I fell asleep inside the butter dish? That. Was a dream. And there was the $2,000 allowance on eligible trade-in. That's reality. All month long. And I had that little dog made out of nachos. Dream. The coverage on the Silverado was amazing. Reality. And I ripped off my shirt and demanded a raise. Oh, yes. That was Tuesday. Was anybody else here? Oh, everybody was here. It's truck month.
For real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited, not available with some other offers. Excludes leases, must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivery by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Hey, I heard you had an epic run today. Yeah, personal best. It was a real adrenaline rush. That good, huh? It was really addictive. You should come next time. I will. Who'd you go with? My sister. She was right beside me every step of the way. And we both came in way under. where we expect it to be. Sounds like the perfect trip to Kohl's. It really was. Women who shop to win shop at Kohl's. Come to Kohl's grand opening sale starting Wednesday. Earn $10 Kohl's cash for every 50 spent. No limits. Kohl's. Expect great things. High chairs, cribs, car seats, play pens. Babies come with a lot of stuff. At Remax, finding a home that fits your growing family is just one of our goals. Maybe that's one reason we've been ranked highest in overall satisfaction for home buyers and sellers among national full-service real estate firms by J.D. Power & Associates. For all the things that move you, we can help. To find a local agent, visit Remax.com today. For J.D. Power & Associates award information, go to JDPower.com. Each office independently owned and operated. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep.
House hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage. It was a trap. It was an open house and a busy one. They were being overrun. A lot of people did seem interested, but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with Navy Federal Credit Union. Called in the big guns. Really nice and helpful for big guns. Three and a half million members, three and a half million stories from every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org, federally insured by NCUA, equal housing lender. My robotic assistant, Al, and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. I'm Nick Sobolewski, a SelectQuote agent with a true story of how SelectQuote goes to bat for you buying term life insurance. A while back, a man called me who had had prostate cancer. He asked if I could beat a very high quote another life insurance agent had given him. I said, let me see. Well, I took his pertinent information,
then shopped the highly rated price competitive companies we represent and found one who pre-approved him for a premium way below what he had been quoted. When it comes to term life insurance, no other company touches select quotes, experience, and expertise in finding the right policy at the right price for almost anyone. How about you? For your free quote, just call 1-800-400-1701. That's 1-800-400-1701. 1-800-400-1701. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop. You save. Want to get your lawn into shape this spring? Stop into Lowe's today and buy one Scott Snap spreader and get one Snap refill cartridge free. And you can get 20% off when you buy two bags of Scott's Turf Builder. That's 20% off the Scott's fertilizer you need to kill major lawn weeds and build strong, deep roots now, and the Scott's fertilizer you'll need later in the year.
Now's the time to save on everything you need to improve your lawn this spring. Lowe's. Never stop improving. Offers valid through 311. See store for details. During the 12 Ways to Save sale at O'Reilly Auto Parts, buy a 5-quart bottle of peak conventional motor oil and a micro-guard filter for $9.99. Plus, you'll also get a $5 O'Reilly gift card after mail-in rebate. That's just one of the ways to save now and get a $5 savings later. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. When you were a kid, you had all sorts of toys. Toy cars, boats, trucks, entire toy boxes full of fun. Of course, you never really outgrow your toys, do you? It's just that now, instead of a box full, you have a garage full. Cars, trucks, boats, motorcycles, ATVs, and more. As you get older, your love of toys just gets stronger. So protect those toys the best way possible by switching to Allstate.
An Allstate agent can help do the switching, paperwork, bundle all your policies together, and even find you a bunch of discounts. So if you love your toys, make sure you protect your toys by making one call to an Allstate agent. Protect all your toys with Allstate. Find an agent near you at Allstate.com today. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company and Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and their affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. I bought my husband a Falcon. Excuse me? You saved my husband over $480 by switching to State Farm, and he bought a Falcon with it. How awesome is that? We can't control what our customers do with their savings. Stop buying him frivolous things. What do you want me to do? Buy me frivolous things. Save an average of $480 when you switch your auto policy to State Farm. Get to a better state. Call 1-800-STATE-FARM today. Average household savings based on 2010 National Survey of New Policyholders reported savings by switching to State Farm.
During the 12 Ways to Save sale, Peak 5050 Long Life Antifreeze is $6.99 a gallon at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Protect your cooling system against damaging rust and corrosion with Peak 5050 Long Life Antifreeze for $6.99 a gallon during the 12 Ways to Save sale going on at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly Parts. This report is brought to you by 5-Hour Energy. You know that 2.30 feeling. You hit the wall, but you've got to get stuff done. That's the time for 5-Hour Energy. 5-Hour Energy when you've got to get stuff done. Well, you've got a lot of slowing here over on the 8 westbound Habito Valley Road. all the way down to Pine Valley Road. It's about 45 miles an hour. Also, it looks like the 67 northbound just starting to slow. Lakeside Avenue down to Winter Garden Boulevard, 48 miles an hour. And as you travel into El Cajon, the 54 southbound, the 8 connector, 22 miles an hour. This report brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but...
Which is a better kiss? Try it. Decide. Tell them at Facebook.com slash ChapStick. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego. This is The Mikey Show. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. Good hogging. Hi. Good morning. Guten Abend. Good morning. I'm Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. Mikey is out today. He is sick. The word of the day today is bark. Oh, boy, I knew that was coming. We got to dive right into it. Do you know what the prize for the word of the day is? It's a four-pack of tickets to the NASCAR National Wide Series Royal Purple 400. Say that again. Plus, you're entered for the grand prize of a pair of tickets to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Auto Club 400, including parking.
Excellent. So, yeah, word of the day is bark. I'll say it later sometime. You've got to be listening for it. Because if you don't listen, I'm not going to weave it in. I'm going to throw it in. Real good. So, you've got to listen for it. And if you win, be caller nine. Or call in if you're caller nine, then you'll win. Last night was Super Tuesday. We're going to get into that in a second. But I wanted to tell you, Peyton Manning's tenure with the Indianapolis Colts is officially over. There will be a press conference today. We will have audio of that tomorrow. That's sad. It is sad, man. And, you know, unfortunately, the world of sports, and especially for aging gentlemen such as Peyton Manning, look, he's my age. He's 36 years old. I play baseball, which is not a contact sport, really. I mean, at all. You can get hurt pretty good, though. You can get hurt pretty good. However, I woke up Monday dying. from playing a nine-inning game. I can't imagine the abuse that these NFL players take, like Peyton Manning. He's had three neck surgeries that we know of. They were actually thinking that he may have had another one. So it comes down to dollars and cents. If you're the owner of the Indianapolis Colts, you've got a 36-year-old quarterback. Granted, that quarterback is a four-time MVP. He's won you a Super Bowl. He is the face of the Indianapolis Colts. Somebody's going to pick him up, though.
I think. I think. I mean, they would have to. So there was video that I watched last week. He was at Duke University, and he was throwing, and he was throwing well. Now, he was in shoulder pads and a helmet. So, yeah, he's looking good. He's out there slinging the ball 30, 40 yards like he does. However, one hit could not only could ruin the guy's – I mean, he could end his life. Seriously. Well, but that's his choice. That is his choice. Right. With a gimpy neck that he has, you just never know what's going to happen. So the Colts owed him $28 million as of tomorrow. And they also have the first pick in the draft. Now, there's a kid out there named Andrew Luck who is supposedly the next Peyton Manning. He's that savant-type football player. He sees things that the regular person can't see. He's got a cannon for an arm. Has the deepest, creepiest. growliest voice that you've ever heard talk like this. I'm not joking. It's not that I don't like Andrew Luck, but his interviews, he talks like this. I'm really excited to be the first pick in the draft. I'm not joking. You think that I'm joking. I'm not joking, okay? That's how Andrew Luck talks, but he's going to be a good NFL quarterback. Everybody thinks so. That's exactly right. I just wanted to say I want to thank
the Colts organization for taking a chance on that. Oh, wow. How do you think you're going to do this season? I just really want to learn the game. What do you think about your linesman? My linesman? Everything rests on the play of our offensive line. If they give me protection, I can grow. Is he a big fat? Is who a big fat? Most of them are. Is he a big fat? Is he a big fat? Yeah. So, Andrew Luck is going to be the first pick in the draft. You can kill him. Thank you very much. So, it's a sad thing because anytime, it's like, when you see a guy that has meant so much to the National Football League leaving and being basically cut from the team, it sucks, you know? But...
We'll see what happens. There are teams out there in desperate need of a quarterback. Also, there are teams out there with young quarterbacks that could use Peyton Manning to teach these kids how to be a professional quarterback in the NFL. You could probably get him cheap, too. No. That's going to be the problem. He's not going to get paid $26 million. He ain't going to get paid $26 million, but you're not getting him for league minimum. It's Peyton Manning, four-time MVP. You think, though. How many years does a 36-year-old quarterback have? So call in, man, 5701949. I want to hear your thoughts on Peyton Manning. Do you think the Colts are making a mistake? Is that guy, do you pay that guy $28 million simply for what he's done in the past? That's what I want to know. It's a big liability. And it is a big liability. So like I said, the press conference is today and it is at, I believe it's what, nine our time. So ESPN keeps zooming in on the scars on his neck. Oh, it's hideous. Yeah, it's absolutely hideous. So that press conference will be at nine. We're going to have audio of that tomorrow. So let's dive right into something that I am just.
Couldn't be more interested in. Just couldn't be if I tried. And that Super Tuesday was last night. And that is. They should come up with a better name. They should. There's nothing super about it. No. So tell me again, LB, just a little bit. It's 10 states, right? There's 10 states. And it's basically, it's saying, gosh, I'm sick today. Yesterday I made more sense. It doesn't actually. determine anything officially, but it's the best chance to determine who is going to be the nominee for the Republican Party or whatever party it is that year. Yeah. So this year it's a Republican Party. Mitt Romney does remain the front runner, but he didn't. They said the big the big quote was he didn't knock anybody out last night. There was no knockout blow as far as the competition was concerned. Now, Romney won Ohio. That was the big one. That's the big one. That was the big one. That was the one where everybody was not sure, you know, and it was the big one to get. Right. He won that one. He won Massachusetts, which is his home state, I think. He's from Michigan, but he was a, what was he, a senator or something in Massachusetts? I don't know. I'm a moron. I know that. Virginia, Vermont, Idaho, and Alaska. And then Rick Santorum took Tennessee, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Newt Gingrich.
He snuck one in. He snuck one in in Georgia, which is his home state. This made me laugh so hard, Jay. The audio that Jay's about to play. Please welcome former Speaker of the House and the next President of the United States. They have used, I know of two people in pop culture that have used that song, I Am a Real American. You know who they are? One was Hulk Hogan. Okay. Okay. Hulk Hogan of WWF wrestling fame. WWE now. Well, E now, correct. The second one, Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down. Oh, a fictional character. A fictional character who was playing baseball in Mexico and ran onto the field, got hanging out, mullet flowing, high on cocaine, playing I Am A Real American. So, Newt, you are in good, good company. And what evidence?
Do they have the support that he's going to be the next president? Yeah, it's one of those deals where... Power of positive thinking. Yeah, the power of positive... The secret, if you will. Yes. The dream board. Yeah, the dream board. So, Newt knows that he's kind of behind the eight ball in this whole deal. We looked at each other and we thought, you know, remember when it was Tim Pawlenty who was going to crowd me out? I don't know. And remember then when it was Michelle Bachman? I don't know. And then it was our good friend Herman Cain the first time? Oh, yeah. And then... And then for a brief moment, it was Donald Trump almost. And then it was our good friend Rick Perry. Then it was Herman Cain the second time. And now it's Santorum. And you just can't quite get across to him. It's all right. There are lots of bunny rabbits that run through. I'm the tortoise. I just take one step at a go. It's one word. Why? Did nobody laugh when he said Santorum? Yeah. Because everyone knew, well, you kind of get, you know, he took four states, you took one. Yeah, and you're kind of just getting killed by everybody else. You're really kind of not even close to the lead. If you just shrug them off, you're not going to beat them. What you're doing, actually, Newt, is you're just burning money at this point and wasting time. You just named people that dropped out of the race because of their own snafus. Right.
Yeah, like Herman Cain and Rick Perry and Donald Trump. You didn't beat them, they dropped out. That's exactly right. So, Robert Sherman has died. Now, I didn't, admittedly, I did not know who Robert Sherman was until I did a little research and I found out he is the author of such beautiful songs as Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Must have done mushrooms. A lot. A lot of mushrooms. If you write this. Yeah, mushrooms. Peyote. They have this guy. Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a man. Wow. He also wrote Chim Chim Chirree. Chim Chiminey. Chim Chiminey. Chim Chim Chirree. I didn't watch Mary Poppins. Didn't you? No, I didn't. It's loading. Hmm. Creepy. Big Van Dyke again. Okay, and this is, not probably, this is definitely his most famous song. Is it the most famous song? Yeah. Isn't it? It's the... Wow.
Our phone screener can work there. So mean. Poor Emily. Big world for her, though. Oh, my God. I'm not sure. He and Emily have that kind of relationship. Yeah, they do. Well, that's good. You're good. It's plenty. Wow. Absolutely plenty. They're screaming at me. They are screaming. I took it upon myself this morning to make a little song. for a friend of mine, Jay Isbell. And I wrote it, I produced it, and I recorded it. He's kind of a hero. And here it is. Oh, my gosh. Creepy. It's a long, thin dong covered with gray hair. It's a long, thin dong. Sometimes it's bare. It plumps when you cook it, but you'd never know it. It's a long, gray, skinny, thin dong.
It's a thin dong after all. It's a thin dong after all. It's a thin dong. It's a long, gray, skinny, thin dong. There you go. Wow. You put all of your heart and soul into that song. I really did. You really reached. I really. Did you take singing lessons before that? I really did know. That's just my normal pipe. Wow. You really went for it on that. Was I not supposed to? I mean, it's supposed to be a parody. It's not supposed to be dead on. Yeah. You know, I just wanted to do a good job singing the song that I sang about James Dahl. Clearly, you went above and beyond on that. On the line right now is M1 Gary from Camp Pendleton. Wants to talk about Peyton Manning. Yeah, Peyton Manning. Wait, first of all, percentage of chance that people are going to be singing that in the Little World after all. Oh, yeah. All day. Yeah, we'll play it again for those that missed it. We'll play it later because that's one of those that you want to get in your head. Is it? Yeah, isn't it? Isn't it? Is it? Let's let Gary talk about Peyton Manning. What do you think, man? Great financial move on the part of the cult. I think it's a bad friendship move. I agree. I know there's probably a lot of bad ties going to happen there, but he needs to go to Arizona. Is that okay?
Get rid of your twin, Cald, because I think Cald looks just like you. You guys are like... Kevin Cobb? Yeah, everyone says I look like Kevin Cobb, which is just awesome. Get rid of him. Have Peyton Manning, you know, nurture Skelton, and let's get Arizona back in third bowl next year. So you're a Cardinals fan? Oh. Huge Cardinals fan. Well, that makes sense for you. What about a place like Jacksonville where Blaine Gabbert's holding a clipboard? Or what about a place like Seattle, dude, that has some good receivers and a really good running back and could use a quarterback? You're a Cards fan. It's good to have good receivers when you have Larry Fitzgerald, the great receiver. That's fair enough. Yeah, that's fair enough, man. What about a place like Canada where, you know, they play? It could be a good place for him. That dude, he ain't playing in Canada. M1 Gary, thanks for the call, man. Yeah, it's going to be one of those things where it's really, really interesting to watch what happens and where he lands. There's talk of, there's a lot of teams like the New York Jets. They are a team that people think.
are close to being, you know, being there. And with a guy like Peyton Manning, they could get there. But Mark Sanchez is way too handsome to be replaced by Peyton Manning. Who is a hayseed looking dude. Yes. Mark Sanchez is handsome. I'll give you that. He's going to get there. You think so? He's working on his chops, yes. See, that's the rumor about him. He doesn't work on his chops very much. He needs to shake off his, like, I'm so good looking and stop being a little bit of a Hollywood. He is the most Hollywood. Well, Matt Leiner was Hollywood, and then he's terrible. But both USC quarterbacks, by the way, I will mention. I'm glad you got that in there as a Notre Dame fan. As a Notre Dame fan, I felt it was my duty to mention that they're both from USC. Yes. So you play football in Hollywood, you're going to be Hollywood. Yep, exactly. So it's interesting, man. We're going to keep, you know, I'm obviously going to be watching this thing like crazy. There's a lot more sports to talk about today. I'm going to tell you later about. Bounty gate and everything that's going on with that, which if you didn't hear, New Orleans Saints are in a lot of trouble for putting bounties out on players to get them carted off the field. They're making extra dough. That's the only part I have a problem with is to be carted off the field. Right. To put a hit on them? Absolutely. No, that's what you're supposed to say. You should be doing that either way. Yeah, but if you get extra money for sacking them, oh, hell yeah. Yeah, because that goes on your, when you're looking at someone's stats as a defensive player.
That's part of what, you know, how many sacks have you had? And tackles. Right. You know? I had a post in the locker room for sure. It's like, hey, check this out. What's not on there is how many season or career-ending injuries I cost. Yeah, that's weird. And you don't want to be that guy. You don't want to be that guy. You can, but you don't want to, really. You ain't got a problem if you're that guy. Exactly. Like Ray Lewis. I mean, he ended, you know, lives on and off the field. Oh, Mama Seda. Allegedly. Is that what we were talking about? Oh, that was allegedly. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, he ended careers. I don't think he killed anyone on the field. He got off that. Right. So did OJ. That's unbelievable. It's a true story. Front page of the UT this morning was a story that it's a sad story. And it's one of those stories that you read and you go, did I just read what I thought I read? There's a guy in East County. I'd never heard of this town. It's called Portrero.
But it's in East County town. His name is Ricky Fox. And this was a devoted family man. He was a tinkerer. He was a guy that liked taking stuff apart. Jay. Jay. Putting stuff together. He was also a gun nut and an explosives nut. He was building a cannon. And the cannon, he was working on the said cannon. It went off. It shot into his trailer. And it killed. His wife. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, his wife, Jeanette Ogara Fox. She was only 38 years old. She's a full-time mom. They have a four-year-old daughter, Vanessa. It's the front page of the UT. It's one of those stories where you read and you're like, man, just an absolutely senseless tragedy. And it's just very, very sad, but it is one of the biggest stories going right now. Front page. Yeah, it was absolutely front page. So cannon exploded, shot a projectile into the... The trailer, shrapnel everywhere.
and she was hit in the chest and died in the trailer. Oh, my gosh. Just absolutely terrible. It's heartbreak. And then, you know, I don't want to be Debbie Downer today, but, I mean, we're going to tell you what are the biggest stories out there. This is another story, L.O.B., that is not the greatest thing in the world. It pisses me off. This story, yeah, it pisses me off. It breaks my heart. I have, you know, kids that I know in the school district. I have friends that are teachers or trying to be teachers. Yeah, exactly. But they, yesterday, passed a vote. The San Diego... Unified School District. They are going to lay off. 1,600 school employees. This is a $124 million budget cut. $124 million. $124 million, yeah. And the board is saying it was a unanimous decision. It was five to zero, I guess. But they were saying that it was something that they didn't want to do, but they had no choice. In fact, one of the board members actually started breaking down crime. Right. Yeah, they've been closing libraries. I have a friend that's a teacher, and she got word last week that her hours won't be there next year. Oh, my gosh.
Like hundreds of people rallying outside. They had students talking. I mean, it just breaks your heart. So they're going to lay off nearly 20% of the elementary school teachers in the San Diego Unified District. It's bigger classes. They said there's already more than 40 students in a class. Can you imagine being one teacher having to look at it? I mean, those kids are crazy. Dude, I cannot imagine. It was always my life's dream to be a teacher. I always wanted to teach and coach. But I can't imagine. 40 kids. No way. There's no way. It's out of control. The class has to be like 23 at the most. Yeah, at the most. I remember one year I was in like fourth grade and there was an outcry because we had 27 kids in our class. I grew up in New Jersey, so, you know, different. But still, I remember like that was a big deal. It was 27 kids. And yeah, the target date to do this is March 13th. I just want to throw out there, I don't know how as a citizen to do anything about this. Me neither. But if anybody knows, shoot us a Facebook message or give us a call. Yeah, that's something I'll occupy. I would like to. I'd occupy that. I don't know if it starts with the government. I don't know if it starts with the Senate. You don't mess with education. That's what the lottery was supposed to be for. When they put the lottery in here, that's what the money was supposed to go to. What a joke, dude. The money that people paid in the lottery. Where's that money go? Health and education. I mean, that's two things you just don't mess with. You don't make cuts in health and education. Education in the state has just suffered so much. I know.
If anyone knows what to do, let me know. I'll officially spearhead that with you. And we're off our soapbox. Well, look, for some of those teachers that may be looking for jobs now, and they're out back in the working world, when we come back, I've got four resume mistakes that can prevent you from even getting in the door, getting an interview. We will be back in a second. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Get part of the show. 570-1949. Text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Hi, my name is Andrew Luck. I'm going to be the first pick in the NFL draft, and I want to say that I want to get my eyes done at Clearview Eye and Laser Medicals.
Wow, this is day two. This is L.O.B. that I've been on a spot with someone that I never expected to be on a spot with before. Maybe the next time you do a voice that you like, L.O.B. But I would like to talk as myself because I want to scream from the mountaintops everything that Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff at Clearview did for me. I can see the gift of sight is something that... You don't really get to give often unless you're someone like Dr. Sanitifo. It's the best. If you want to talk to him and get a free appointment, call him at 858-452-3937. I'm Andrew Luck. I'm L.O.B., and I don't know what Andrew's doing, but is this the end of your... Yeah, that's the end. He left. He had it wrong. He's got interviews to do. Yeah, this is Woodsy, and I also went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, and it was a good time, man. We had a 15-minute procedure. I had 20 vision the next day. Then my vision's improved to 2015. Call them today, 858-452-3937, and tell them that Woodsy and LOB sent you. They're going to take good care of you, give you a free consultation. All you do, if you're curious,
Just get in the door. Let them talk to you. And they can help with financing and things like that. But give them a call today, 858-452-3937. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Tickets on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. Visit openskytheater.com or ticketmaster.com. Entertainers subject to change or cancellation must be 21 or older to attend events. For more info and tour dates, stop by enjoyencubus.com. Is your hair dry, brittle, and breaking off by the handfuls? Have you fried and damaged your hair from harsh chemicals and heat styling treatments? Are you covering up the holes in your hair where the extensions used to be? Has your hair just stopped growing and won't get any longer?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then log on to OvationHair.com to learn what hundreds of thousands of Ovation Cell Therapy customers have experienced. How Ovation Cell Therapy can help restore your natural beauty and shine and help your hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Up to twice as fast. Ovation is guaranteed safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. So you can use Ovation with confidence or get a full refund. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. My robotic assistant, Al, and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you?
Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never frozen North American beef? Fresh cooked applewood smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. The pure and simple kick of cool, all-natural. Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes. That's Wendy's way. And participating Wendy's for a limited time. Hi, I'm Jeff. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. And I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy neighborhood market. Made with real customers, not famous actors. Saving money. We pass on to you. I like to come to Fresh and Easy and grab things I need for dinner time because I know all the stuff is really good. I can pick up a ready-made meal that they've made fresh or you can put together something really quick because they have all the stuff you need. Today I saw an ad for your New York steaks, which look really good. So I grabbed some Brussels sprouts, grabbed some coleslaw, grabbed some rice pilaf for couscous. So I'm going to put that together for dinner tonight. So, I mean, it's just a great convenient one-stop place to get really good quality stuff, in my opinion. It's just a great healthy alternative.
Thanks, Russian Easy. Thanks, Jeff. Now everyone can save on our new easy dinner ideas, like chicken fajitas. Just grab a F&E chicken breast family pack, our vegetable fajita mix, and flour tortillas. In less than 30 minutes, you'll have dinner for four at under $4 a person. Stop by for tonight's dinner. See store for details, valid through March 13, 2012. Do you know what's better than saving money on your car insurance with GEICO? Saving money on your car insurance and your homeowner's insurance at the same time. It's like pie and chips. Two things you want, but even better together. In fact, GEICO gives you a multi-policy discount for insuring both your car and home together. It's like pie and chips. Can't have pie and cauliflower. Pie and gummy worms. That one made me lose my appetite a bit. To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. Taking a family of five to the amusement park can cost a small fortune. Oh, yeah. So to save some money, we thought, hey, let's bring the amusement park to us. Go ahead. All right. Step right up. Step right up, young man. Are you ready to ride the wacky waterfall? That's just the bathtub with the shower head running. Nope. It's the wacky waterfall. It's the shower, Dad. Waterfall. It's wacky. There's an easier way to save.
To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. Business as usual, we think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My best friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service the way it ought to be. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you. Like a full line of mortgage and home equity packages with low rates and closing costs. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. My boss banks at Mission Fed. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. Open a new account today. Call 800-500-6328. Or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. San Diego banks at Mission Fed. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration and is an equal housing lender. This report brought to you by 99 cents only stores. Gear up for spring with garden essentials. 99 cents only stores has bright ceramic pots. Live flowering plants for only 99.99 cents each. Save more. Shop 99 cents only stores first.
Oh, let's see. Let's go over here to the 8 westbound Sunset Cliffs Boulevard down to Marina Boulevard, about 46 miles an hour. One spot here on the 94 eastbound at the 15 north. It's 40 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Let an Allstate agent make your life easier by bundling your policies. They'll help you do the switching and the paperwork. Find an Allstate agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons boots to go out with a tall girl. And even then I'd be shorter. Woods. And my back is not fat. My stomach is. Lauren. I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. And Jay. I never said I could do a cold read. I said I could act. I'm an actor. On FM 94.9. Mikey is out today. This is Woodsy. I'm here with my dear friend, L.O.B., my other dear friend in his flaming red Mr. Perfect t-shirt. Oh, hey, y'all. Hey, y'all. Word of the day today is bark, and I want to tell you right now four mistakes that a lot of you out there. Look, there's a lot of people looking for jobs, right? There are four mistakes that you're making on your resume. I can almost promise you, in my former life, before I became the big-timer radio D-level celebrity that I am now.
I was a recruiter. And so I looked at, no kidding, 60 to 80 resumes a day. That's crazy. I had a lot of resumes. And it could be a bit tedious, which is why we invented games like the Incorporator, which we'll be playing later. But here we go. Are you ready? Before you go to the mistakes, can I ask you a question? Fire away. What would stand out to you? Numbers. Numbers. Okay. So it wouldn't be like font or like nothing like that. I want, for me. It's got to look sharp. You were in a sales. I was recruiting salespeople. So for me, the first thing I looked at was where did you work? How did you do when you were there? Yeah. And and it's absolutely applicable, this thing right here. So one thing you don't want to do if you're looking for a job, you don't use the same resume for every single job. No.
Unless you have one skill set and you're just looking for a sales job, you're going to be OK. But if you have if you're really not sure what you want to do, let's say you just graduated college. You cannot send the exact same resume to every job out there. Minor tweaks. OK, tweak it to the job that you want. Number two, listing your personal interests. This is. Probably number one on my list. I can't believe people still do that. I don't care. But it needs to be on the list. I don't care that you like Russian poetry. I don't. What if you're right out of college? That's the only thing if you're trying to fill space. Yeah. Yeah. And filling space is not that important. Yeah. I mean, look, if I get a resume from my desk and it says graduated from San Diego State, May of 2012. I know you probably haven't had a ton of jobs. I know you've probably been a bartender. I know you've probably done some stuff at school. You can tell me about your school and how you did. Those are more numbers. And clubs that you were in. And clubs that you were in. Absolutely. But don't be like, I like to surf. Right. I love to play guitar. I volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're applying for a dog walking position, let them know that you worked at an animal shelter. But what about volunteering? Doesn't that show? No, it shows me nothing. It shows me.
Absolutely nothing. Oh, you know what? They're very nice. And you know what? They're probably lying about all the volunteer work. Maybe use it when you're in the interview as a chance to talk about all your philanthropy. If you go to an interview and the guy interviewing says, well... What do you like to do when you're not working? That is when. But sometimes getting your foot in the door is the hardest part. Number three, you don't need to include every job you have ever had. That is a common misconception. I don't need to see. And I'll tell you another thing. If your resume is two pages long, unless you're 65 years old, I'm throwing it in the garbage. Should be a one pager. It's got to be a one pager. It's got to be summarized. And always, you don't always have to include your desired salary. If I look at a guy's resume, the position I'm recruiting for is $60,000 to $80,000 a year they can make, and he puts must-have base salary of $100,000. Nope. Now, I might talk to him, and I'm feeling that I'm good enough to get him to come here, and I did that. I mean, we were recruiting guys that were making $150,000. We were getting them over for $50,000 and $60,000 bases because the commission was such that they could just knock that out of the water.
One thing I will tell you guys out there that are looking for jobs, numbers. If you have numbers, hey, I hit 100% of my goal. I was 150% of my goal. I never missed a day of work. Stuff like that is stuff I want to know. Quantifiable stuff. Quantifiable. Even if you're not in sales, really. You know, where you ranked, how many hours that you did. That's exactly, exactly right. So I'm also in that vein. Companies now, when you're looking for jobs out there, and look, I'm not trying to preach to you. I'm just trying to arm you with some good, solid information. A lot of people out of work. When you are looking for jobs, in Fortune Magazine, they did an article about buzzwords that companies use. So now we'll flip it to the companies that are hiring you. If it says we need somebody that is detail-oriented, that basically means a lot of times you're going to be working for control freaks. Administrative tasks. Like Jay. Oof. Yeah. When Jay wants to hire somebody, first thing, I need you to be detail-oriented. That's the first thing I'm looking for. Are you detail-oriented? Organized. He hates unorganized people. He thinks that fat people and unorganized people should be on an island by themselves. No, I think they should just be forced to work out. What about the disorganized people? What should they be forced to do? They should be organized. I like it messy, but...
Organized chaos. Organized chaos. I'm the same way. If they say that we need a team player, that basically means you ain't going to be working for very much, you're not going to be making a lot of dough, and you're going to take a lot of crap to do whatever you're asked for the good of the team. Yeah, fair enough there. Fair enough. The self-starter. This is one where when you're coming out of college, You get, they're basically scams. And I can't tell you how many times, how many interviews I went to, I was like, oh, cool, a sports marketing firm. That's right up my alley. Show up there. They're like, look, we're looking for self-starters that want to make a lot of money. And you're like, that's me. I can do this. I like money. Hey, you right there, you guy in the front row pointing at me, you're going to do a ride along with her. And you guys are going to go out and cold call business for our sports marketing company. And I'm like, I would have to, the interview would turn from half an hour. to four hours long. So just be careful when you're looking for jobs out there. One, this is just a personal, I'm just going to insert this. I know I'm right in the middle of your list, but I've had a lot of different jobs. And my one thing, if anyone had like a college degree and they wanted to kind of like get out there and sort of like find out what a first job is going to be like, I would always, now that if I had to do it over again, I would have gone for a bigger company. Yeah. Because...
I started with a small company when I started and I was like, they wanted me to set up a whole system. It was a whole self-starter thing. And I was like, I have nothing to compare it to. Exactly. I just graduated. So if you can, I mean, right now it's kind of the job market you take whenever you can get. Yes. Going for like an established company that kind of has a way that they do things. It's kind of like a continued education. Absolutely. And they, you know, the bigger the company, sometimes you get lost in the numbers, you know, but also. They have protocols in place. You're going to know what you need to do. And smaller companies can have that. And you can usually tell in a first interview. If they start asking organization skills and that self-starter stuff. You say, absolutely I can. No problem. That's what I always do. I said it and then I drowned for the first six months. Do you guys want to hear your president and my president? I voted for him. Barack Obama trying to say Lollapalooza. I do. I always have confidence in Chicago being able to handle security issues, whether it's Taste of Chicago or La Palooza or Bulls championships. We know how to deal with the crowd. Brock, what's La Palooza? What is La Palooza? Hey, on the line is M1 Brad from Carlsbad. We're about to go into a best of clip, but what is he asking?
Yeah, let's take this call real quick, Jay, and then I'll let you get set up. M1 Brad? Did he hang up? Well, maybe you suck it, M1 Brad. All right. You can call in, tease me real good, and then hang up. What best of clip are we going to play? Turn your mic on, though. There you go. I got a lot going on over here. You asked me questions. You want me to tell you things. Answering phones. You're being a big diva right now. Am I being a diva? I am not being a diva. You're ordering Jay around. Oh, my gosh. It's called Moving In. Moving In. Let's do it. Taylor Swift was doing a concert in St. Louis on Saturday, and there was high winds. Her dress blew up. Of course, everybody wanted to see, well, what is Taylor Swift up to? Granny panties. Not only that, they were industrial strength granny panties. Maybe Aunt Flo was in town. Oh, Woods, shut it. They're comfortable for her moving around. Gosh darn it. They were her period panties. Ew. What? It's a true statement. My soul just left my body.
Gosh darn it. Hey, I'm an idea guy, okay? I'm spitting out ideas. You just ruined that topic. What was going to be the topic, panties? We're going to talk about it. Talk about it. Filthy. Next. And when Deer Hunter wrote, he said, Mikey, I know that when a couple moves in together, both people have to make some sacrifices. But I'm moving in with my girlfriend and she wants me to get rid of practically all my stuff. I'm cool with finally ditching my Scarface poster. But she doesn't like my recliner and I have a restored pinball machine. She could get. That she wants me to sell. She said none of that stuff fits the theme of our new place. And having it would be college-y. What is the theme? Stupid? Oh, boy. Good one, Jay. That's very clever. Send back. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks, Arsenio. Thanks, Gallagher. Should I get rid of all the stuff I love? M1 Deer Hunter. Well, Deer Hunter, yeah.
You know what you should do? You should pack it all up and put it in storage. And guess what? And you want to know something, Jay? He's going to put it in storage. In the next 30 years, he's going to look at it zero times. A pinball machine? Zero times. Oh, man. Compromise. Grow up. Have a room. It's time to grow up. Yeah, if they can't afford to have an office or a man cave, you know, as a lot of people can't living in this town, it's expensive. Or let him keep his favorite thing. Just one. He gets to keep one thing. No. Come on, L.O.B. What if the one thing is that pinball machine is giant? That's all right. Is it all right? It is all right. It's a battle. Men, it's a battle that you will lose, number one. And it's a battle that if you lose, you get so much more in return. Do you? Don't you? Jay, can't you just think about it like this, man? When we get hooked up with a lady and we get married and stuff. There's just stuff that they got to deal with and we got to deal with. Like we're going to leave our clothes on the floor. That's just sorry. We are. I'm going to leave my dishes on the pinball machine. I'm going to leave my dishes in the sink. I'm sorry. Sorry. There's going to be dried cereal in there. I'll put my dishes away. I want my pinball machine. You're going to come in the room sometimes and you won't have been in the bedroom for four hours. And it's going to smell like farts. Yep. Maybe less scented candles and more pinball machines.
Dude, I like a nice, girly place. I like my wife to decorate it. I like it to feel, because if I decorated, it'd look like a squatter lived there. My wife, let me tell you, my wife makes the most beautiful home. Gorgeous. Yeah, she does. I mean, beautiful home. Catalog home. I come home, and I walk in that place, and it smells good. Everything's always clean. She's got that place in tip-top shape. It looks beautiful. I go into, I think we finally got it to a place where. She's happy and I'm happy. I can go into the front room now and she painted the walls a brown and I feel safer and warmer. And I'll turn that fountain on. Oh, it feels so nice. She's created an environment I like. But I can't have all my stupid dude. Jay, I used to have a collection, a collection of. pint glasses from all, you know, Ballast Point beer. This place, that place, blah, blah, blah. And I had like a collection. I must have had 50 of them. Okay. Dude, I mean, I got to grow up sometimes. I didn't like it. I didn't like it in the family room, pal. Please. When I was a bachelor. Did you have it in the, where all your dishes go? Yeah.
So you can just bust one out and, hey, here you go. I see nothing wrong with that. When you're a bachelor, dude, when you're a bachelor. Even when you're not a bachelor, you can still have a life. You know, I've been to Mikey's old bachelor pad in Dallas. Had many a party over there. Black leather couch, you know, the black lacquered furniture. You're out, man. Let the women take over and do their thing. Get on that. But, I mean, you can still have, like, cool beer glasses and style. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen. If I have, and I still do have a couple of mugs and a couple of things, but like, dude, that's all I have. Like when you drank something, you drank it out of one of those pint glasses. I'm all in. You don't put your Eddie Van Halen poster up in the family room just because you like it. I wouldn't do that, but a recliner, like a nice recliner. I still have a nice recliner. I'm not allowed to have a recliner. Why? It doesn't fit. Even if it's nice? Oh, it doesn't fit. I've never had one. Z Gallery. Mine's a nice leather. I found it off the side of the road. No, no. Refurbished it. Yeah, I refurbished it. It's nice. Take it from someone who lived out of wedlock, then broke up and moved out of living out of wedlock. You got to give some compromise. You have to. A little give and take. You start taking away his pinball machine, all of a sudden you might as well take his boys away. That's right. You got to give some. What are you, working on an arcade? Leave the pinball machine in the garage. I have certain things that are mandatory.
Like? My ping pong. My recliner. Where the hell is your ping pong? It's out by the pool. Just getting all rained on. Bet it looks awesome. No, it is an outdoor table. It is all. It's an outdoor table? Yeah, it's aluminum bottom. It is. It's a nice table. It is nice. You saw it at my house. Yeah, yeah. You brought it over. Yeah, it's an all weather resistant. That's outside. What do you got inside that's. Oh, the recliner is mandatory. Yeah, but it probably fits, right? It probably fits. A big TV. I remember that recliner. Yeah, I remember it, too. It fits the decor. Try bringing something in there that Kim thinks don't fit. A big-ass lazy boy. Yeah, dude. A blue-cornerable lazy boy. I did have a big, giant pickle barrel that I loved. What? Isolate. It was a pickle barrel. Did you wear it as, like, overalls? With suspenders that held it up? You had a pickle barrel? I had a pickle barrel, yeah. I had all kinds of stuff. Describe it. It's just a big wooden... It looks like a wine barrel almost. What'd you do with it? I kept it as a table. You used it as a table? I used it as a table. In college, though, I could also flip it upside down and you could put your bong inside of it so no one knew. My goodness, Jay had... A pickle barrel. A pickle barrel that he put a bong under. Of course he did. Well, Houdini gave it to him after it was over the fall. And went over the fall in it. He was like, hey, my buddy Jay, my babysitter, Jay.
Hey, it's my Nanny J. M1, Captain Mo from San Diego. What's going on, Mikey? What's up, dude? Hey, I had to do the same thing recently. I had a whole shelf that was dedicated to my drinking days. I had the Captain Morgan mirror and the Guinness mirror and a couple Guinness glasses. And I actually had the last bottle of Guinness I drank before I left Okinawa. I had to reasonably take that down. It was kind of by choice, but the wife strongly suggested that I take it down. But I kind of agree to it. You know, I got to grow up someday, whether I want to or not. Yeah, you know, in college, we used to drink Lone Star beer, and we used to drink a lot of it. And we used to cut out the box, the face of it. And we would tack them up onto our wall. Now, I couldn't imagine saving my Lone Star beer. cases now and wanting to collect them. So at some point, you just realize that this ain't a battle you're going to win. But you've got to do it slowly, though. They're just moving in together. You guys are married. If you take it all away at once, you're going to scare them. Just Pete. Come on, Pete. Just grow up. There's only a small shelf, though. House is a woman's nest, bro. Pinball machine, though, is...
The coolest thing ever. You're 15 years old. People collect them. It is an antique. People that collect them have space for them. If you have one pinball machine, it's going to go in the garage, man. It's not going in the foyer. It's the coolest thing ever. Unless you marry a Vulcan, she's not okay with that. I like the pinball machine. Different strokes. That's it, huh? I like that conversation, man. I could talk about... I could talk about the differences in, like, when you're single. Like, your lifestyle, you know, we were talking about, hey, look, when you get married, guys, like, L.A.B., you're about to get married. Matt Commerce is not going to have much say on the decoration of your shared home. No, we've already had a shared home. And you did it all. Yeah, unfortunately, we had, like, an equipment room because he's a musician. Right. So that had to do with his livelihood.
So I have to I have to concede that. See, and that's the difference. Women concede and men are like, all right. I mean, you resign yourself to the fact that, well, for me, I'm just lazy and I don't care. And my wife makes a beautiful home. So I'm like, I would live in every apartment I've ever lived in. You know what art I had on the wall? None. Yeah. You know, it sucks, though, is like they come in and they usually end up at your house and they're like, oh, they're so happy to be there. But before you know it, your pickle barrel's gone. Your stereo's gone. The couch that you loved, it was super comfortable, is gone. And now all of a sudden it's new fluffy couch. Can I, I gotta go back to something. Yeah, the pickle barrel? Yeah, pickle barrel. What do you, that sounds like a personal. I had a pickle barrel. I talk about it in the rejoinners. With pickles in it? No, there's no pickles in it. It's just a big barrel. And what did you want it for? To wear overalls and walk around like a creep? I used it. I flipped upside down. Yeah. And do what? You would roll on it. No, no. You just put stuff on top. It's like a table. It turned into a table. But it's not a table. It's a pickle barrel, which is pretty cool. I sound like Miley Cyrus there. Pretty cool. That's pretty cool. It's a pickle barrel. Yes. It's a big barrel. Look, dude. When the wife moves in, all the barrels have to go outside. Yeah. That's just.
Everybody knows that. You got to build a man cave. I don't understand why. I never don't know what a pickle barrel is. That's probably part of the problem. It's like a wine barrel. It's like a barrel. It's the thing that you saw people wear. They put a barrel and then they put overall suspender things on them and then they wear it. You could get inside of it and go over to Niagara Falls. Yes. Did you ever get inside of your pickle barrel? I was inside my pickle barrel. What's a barrel? Where did you get it? Oh, boy. That is a good question. I think I might have stolen it. And Kim, your wife Kim, when she moved in said, we've got to get rid of. It slowly moved from like the living room to like a spare room. And then all of a sudden it was like, we've got to get rid of that. And I had the big speakers and all that stuff. And they slowly disappeared for smaller, sleeker. Bongs. They had to go. Bongs had to go. You thank us later. My current, I was going to say boyfriend, my fiance. He likes to come to my place now. Of course. As opposed to his place. He's like, it just feels so much homeier here. It's much homeier there. We make a house a home. You do. It's true. Women are so good at that stuff. Hey, are you guys exhausted today? Because if you are, I'm going to tell you how to get the perfect night's sleep. Now, this doesn't apply to anybody on this show. Nope. But this applies to you driving in your car, probably sitting in traffic. We'll be back in a second. Hi, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. 570-1949. Ah-ha.
Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. Your spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those 2 for 350 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Want to get your lawn into shape this spring? Stop into Lowe's today and buy one Scott Snap spreader and get one Snap refill cartridge free.
And you can get 20% off when you buy two bags of Scott's Turf Builder. That's 20% off the Scott's fertilizer you need to kill major lawn weeds and build strong, deep roots now, and the Scott's fertilizer you'll need later in the year. Now's the time to save on everything you need to improve your lawn this spring. Lowe's. Never stop improving. Offers valid through 311. See store for details. When you're ready to save money, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With our exclusive Way to Save savings account, you can save money automatically. Every time you use your debit card to make a purchase or pay a bill with Wells Fargo Online Bill Pay, $1 is transferred from your Wells Fargo checking account to your WayToSave account. You can also set up recurring daily or monthly transfers to save even more money fast. Call, click, or stop by today. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. We now return to a Chevy dealer near you. You okay, Kyle? You look pretty wore out. I had the craziest dream last night. We were here at the dealership. Offering qualified customers 0% APR financing on all 2012 Silverados and Traverses. Uh, that's not a dream. It's happening right now, Kyle. It's truck month. Really? Yeah. What about the part where my arms were espresso machines and I fell asleep inside the butter dish? That was a dream. And there was the $2,000 allowance on eligible trade-in. That's reality. All month long. And I had that little dog made out of nachos.
Dream. The coverage on the Silverado was amazing. Reality. Then I ripped off my shirt and demanded a raise. Oh, yes. That was Tuesday. Was anybody else here? Oh, everybody was here. It's truck month. For real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited. Not available with some other offers. Excludes leases. Must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivered by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. Uh, no. I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart. Shop at Albertson's through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Right now, Albertson's Whole Chickens are just 69 cents a pound. Limit to buy one for dinner tonight and save one for later. And pick up Haas Avocados. They're priced at a low 69 cents each. And while you fill your card, fill your prescription. Albertson's is proud to welcome Express Scripts member Albertson's. Hey, San Diego. It's Tony for Butoni.
You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking. It's the delectable, exceptional, gastrointestinal delight of your night. Butoni, Butoni, Butoni, Butoni. Oh, you make me feel so right. Think you can top that magic? Just go to Facebook.com slash Butoni USA and upload your original Cooking Up a Jingle lyrics by March 17th. We'll pick the top five, you vote, and the winner gets 5,000 smackeroonies. An important announcement from Big Bear Mountain Resorts. It has come to our attention that many of you are waiting for snow. There you sit, watching the weather reports and lovingly stroking your bindings. Well, wait no more. Conditions at Big Bear Mountain Resorts are good.
Damn good. I would go so far as to say kick ass. Because at Big Bear Mountain Resorts, we don't wait for snow. We make it. We make a pant load of it. Every day. And don't think just because it's man-made snow, it's not as good. This is real snow. Made with actual air and water. Just like nature would make if it had the time. Most runs are open. All chairlifts are operable. And you're not going to hit any rocks or bear patches because the snowpack is plenty deep. So get off your can and come to where the snow is. The weather may be mild down there, but up here it's practically winter. Carpe Schium. Seize the snow. With excellent snow coverage and nearly 100% of runs open, now is the time to ski and ride at Snow Summit in Bear Mountain. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter for current info. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricket and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere.
This report brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance with roadside assistance. They're one call away. Always 1-800-640-2920. You've got a little bit of a backup here as you travel on to the 67 northbound Mapleview Street all the way to about Riverford Road, 30 miles an hour. Also some delay on the 52 westbound, that 805 connector. It's about... It's about 35 miles an hour. And an accident here with injuries on the 905 westbound to the 5 north connector. It looks like major injuries. So you're probably going to find some time that you're going to be spending there. This report also brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips. But which is a better kiss? Try it, decide. Tell them at Facebook.com slash ChapStick. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d' from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. I'll be okay in a minute here. Jay's controlling all of our microphones. Yeah. So I look over and he's staring at his computer, probably looking Facebook.
Creeping on stuff real good. It's not true. Well, hey, this is GNR, and you guys know how I said I wanted to go see them play this weekend. Never got tickets. I am all bark and no bite. Wow. That is me. That's me to it, too. I'm all bark, no bite. I'm Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. Mike is out sick today. Screening phones for us is Emily. Today's going to be a first, too, because Emily is going to play catchphrase with us. That's right. We're going to roll some catchphrase today. She looks scared. Yeah, she does. Jay and I were explaining it to her, and I think she'll get it. I think she'll get it. Why was I yelling at her? Jay was screaming at her. Why are you screaming? I don't know. It's important. If we have an intern or a phone screener, Jay, he's a power tripper. No, it's not true. Authoritarian. He likes me. He's an authoritarian. Yeah, a dictator. Yeah, a dictator. I walk out and I hear, now look, I need you to be energetic. And I want you to, I mean, just, you're not real loud. All right? You're not really loud anyway. I need you to pump it up. Pump it up. Have fun. Have fun. Speaking of pump it up, in a minute, our friend Jay is going to do, we're just calling it Jay Rap. Yes. What we did, when we first started a long time ago, we did a bit with a heavy metal song, and we had M1s write the lyrics. I brought in my electric guitar and amp.
I played a little metal riff. Right. And I sang what the M1s wanted me to sing. We wrote like a Dio-esque heavy metal song. It was very full of unicorns and lightning and things like that. So we thought it would be funny to have Jade do the same thing, but with a rap song. Right. Maybe you people rhyme when you're writing on Facebook. What do you mean you people? I'm talking about our listeners. I'm offended. The M1s wrote the rap and they did not bother to make it rhyme. So it's like just words all loon together. What's saloon? What's saloon? And how is that any different from any other parody that you've ever done ever? No, they're quality. Mine rhyme. They flow. They have, you know, up and down. You will jam. Jay will jam 37 words into one sentence. I'm used to jamming something big into a... Into a what? A sentence? Small space. Into a sentence? Into crickets. It's so loud. It's so loud. The loudest crickets I've ever heard. M1JB from Valley Center. What was the word of the day? Oh, let me tell you. Come on, Jay. M1JB. Let's try it again. M1JB from Valley Center. What was the word of the day? Where he was parked. That a boy. Jay, what did they win? Maybe we get some applause going. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Ow. Yeah, he wins a four-pack of tickets to the NASCAR National Wide Series. What? Royal Purple 400. Plus, he's entered for the grand prize, which will draw on Friday of a pair of tickets to the NASCAR Sprint.
series auto 400 hi y'all i love it so much i love it so much the train wreck congratulations good job When Jay gets, when he gets frazzled, there is nothing. There is nothing funnier. His face gets red. I'm trying to get ready for this stupid rat song. Get phones answered. Yeah, Woods is being a diva again, asking you to do all this stuff. I did not even notice that you said the word of the day. I am not being a diva. Look at the schedule, Jay. Jay, it's right in front of you. I got paper everywhere. Oh, I love it so much. Jay, what is the story you were going to tell us about, about the perfect night's sleep? Oh, here we go. Poor guy. Well, if you want to get the perfect night's sleep, there's a couple things you have to do. Now, this is assuming that you want to be in bed asleep by about 10.30. Okay, okay. So, first thing you do is you should finish eating dinner by 8.29. Oh. This gives you time to digest and get ready for bed. Don't drink anything after 9.10, which will apparently ruin your night's sleep if you have to get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom. That was me last night. I do it all the time. I have to get up and pee in the middle of the night. Yeah, about four times. After dinner.
You need to do something relaxing, just like watch TV. Yes. Just sit around, watch TV, don't do anything. Like, yeah, I know what you're thinking about. And then they want you to get in bed exactly at 10 p.m. You wear comfortable pajamas. What are pajamas? Or nothing at all. Wait, wait, what are pajamas? I think they're kind of like pajamas, but kids wear them. No, they're comfortable. You should, so anyone could probably take whatever time that they have and adjust it. Right. They want you to spend 20 minutes reading. No more, no less. All right, I'm bored. Let's do the J-Rap. I have to do the J-Rap. I have to do the J-Rap. Let's get to the J-Rap. All right, Jay, you're stalling. Jay, you're stalling. You're stalling. They did a study of 2,000 people to figure this out. That's perfect, perfect, perfect. You're stalling. Real good. All right, so me, me, me. This is the J-Rap, M1's. You wrote it. He picked the best lines that he could discern and create a song with. And we let him pick his own beats, and we are filming this now. Great. Thanks, Emily. So we'll put this up on Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. So here he goes. He's standing up. He's spreading his legs apart for some reason. The mic is so short. I'm sitting in Mikey's chair, and the mic is like three feet off the ground. This is the J-Rap. Pick your own beats. Go, go. Oh, gosh. It's MC. I'm a horny old dude. Speak right.
My weenie is on fire. It plumps when you cook it. What can I say? I'm perfect. JP Longballs is what they call me. I slang a thing, slam slang, ding dong. I play a bad game of ping pong. I've been a crazy police dog for so long. Oh, my God. And every now and then I hit a bong. Now everybody sing along. Ladies get moist whenever they saw me. Slim Hong Gang, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, wow. I love all kind of outdoor sports. I do them on my biker shorts. I make six in a tent. I love to look, but I don't like to touch. Everything I do is perfect. Love, love, and laugh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. That. That. Well done. That was. My favorite moment that I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, wow. Oh, that is the worst thing I've ever done. Can you do it again? Oh, my gosh. I've thrown the hearing. There you go. Well, L.O.B., question for you. As the assistant producer, can you get that clip, email it to me, I'll load it, and then we just play it every day. Yes, if we can lower the levels a little bit. Maybe. Maybe, you know, maybe we use it three or four times a day. Sure. Jay, that was freaking outstanding. That was absolutely outstanding. Oh, my God. And I did notice a couple of times in there you referred to your dong, and I don't know. Well, you did. I mean, you picked the lines, right? Yeah, well, they made me. They made me. They made me do it. Some of those rhymed. I don't know what was wrong. Just a few rhymed. Yeah. Otherwise, they're just trying to fit in things that didn't fit. Call us.
5701949, I want to hear your reaction. Without question, I want to hear what you, the M1, think of Jay's rapping skills. It made me so happy. My stomach hurt. And then, you know, when you get that, ah, from LLB, the cackle, that's when you know you've made it. I couldn't even look at you people. Wow. I live for that cackle. You should stop referring to people as you people. Seriously. That's the second time today. You're just going to get yourself in trouble. What do you do? man or woman driving in your car that is annoying, but you do it anyway. Jay Bird, what do you do that's annoying? You know it's annoying, but you do it anyway. I have been known to, if I'm at a grocery store, instead of taking the basket back to where they put it in that long thing, you know, where you're supposed to put them, I will pop it up to like around a tree or there's like some bushes there. You're a monster. I will pop it up in there. The grocery basket. Yeah. I know I should take it back to the, you know, where they have the little corrals for the baskets. Yes. So the one that you push. Yeah, the one you push. That shocks me about you. I will push it up into the tree. That's lazy. Well, yeah, it's lazy. Those guys are out there gathering them up anyway. But you know where they're gathering it from? The place where you... The corral. The corral. You know what else I'll do, though? It's like on my way into the grocery store, I will grab a basket and take it all the way in with me when I go next time.
Well, you take it in with you because you're about to use it. Exactly. Oh, yeah. But I can grab one right outside the door. But then you leave it propped up on a tree. Usually I bring my own grocery bag, so I throw them inside of it. So it's nice to have it right up on the vehicle. Bringing your own grocery bag, guy. Oh, you guys should be proud of me. This is a little bit off topic. But you should be proud of me. You know my bit. Now I go to Sprouts. I always get paper sacks. I don't get the plastic sacks anymore. Congratulations. You shouldn't even be doing that. You should be bringing your own back. This is what happens when you pat yourself on the back. We'll take that hand and we'll pull it away and we'll say... Yeah, and you'll throw it in a door and you'll slam the door on it. Then we'll put reusable sacks in it. Yeah. Gosh darn you guys. LLB, what do you do that's annoying? You know it's annoying, but you do it anyway. I correct people. I know. I do it. I know it too. I don't know what you're talking about. I can't help it. I don't know what you mean. You've never done it to me. I have. We do a big thing of like if someone mispronounces something, we're like, what's such a... Well, that's funny. Yeah. Is it? I live in that world. A lot of people will like continuously say something and then I'll have to like... I can't think of an example. Like if they're like...
Say something's pronounced like Shelton. Yeah. And they're like, Sheldon, Sheldon. I'm like, you mean Shelton. Oh, God. You do it like in your private life, too? Yes. Well, usually it's someone I know. They're trying to tell a story, though, and you're interrupting to correct them. No, I usually wait until the end. But I can't escape our conversation until I correct them. We are going to get to, the phones are absolutely blowing up about, call about Jay's rap and also call about annoying things that you do that you know that are annoying. and you do it anyway, you know what mine is, and I'll admit it right here on the Mikey Show. I talk over people. And I talk over Jay. I talk over LLB. I talk over people. I'm a talker over guy. I know it. I talk over my wife. Yeah, you're the loudest guy in the room. Well, I am. And I don't want to be that guy. I want to be thought of as, hey, that's Woodsy. That's my old pal Woods. And he's my friend and he will listen to me. I don't really listen. I listen until I can talk and then I talk. And I know I do it. It's a conscious thing. So I'm watching your mouth move and I'm like, when's my turn? Yeah, we know that. Yeah, we know that. Well, let me take this forum to apologize. And I feel bad about it. I do.
But this brain, you can't stop this brain and the receptors that go to the mouth. You can't stop it. There's a lot of people out in public that I will avoid talking to at parties because every time I talk to them, they're looking over my head or past my shoulder to what's more interesting at the party than what I'm saying. I don't do that. I don't think. Do I? I just avoid people like that usually at parties and bars. I thought we were good friends. I'm not talking about you. Okay, good. You made me real nervous. M1 Sanjaya is on the line. What's up, my brother? What up, dude? How you doing? Good. What do you want to say about Jaybird? Dude, he definitely knocks Skittles right off the charts. Oh, yeah. He slays Skittles. If you don't know what we're talking about, Skittles is a rapper that one of our guests, well, she's, I'm going to have to set this whole thing up. Eskimo Blue Waters, or EBW, is a girl. That is a local musician slash ventriloquist slash ice cream maker slash jack of all trades. She pops into the Mikey show from time to time. And she's always promoting something. She's kind of a pain in the ass. And she founded this guy named Skittles. A white kid, red hair. And this guy was rapping. And he wasn't that good of a rapper. I thought he was pretty good. So Jay is a better rapper than Skittles. Well, Sanjaya, we have to thank for a lot of the lines on there.
Oh, was Sanjaya a contributor? I think my weenies on fire may have been his line. Yeah, you said one line in there that I don't know. We may get in trouble for it. We might be fine for it. We may. No, she was sweaty. That was the best line of all. Wow. She didn't really call back. Yeah. Speaking of my weenies on fire, hey, L.O.B., are you really going to be running in your underwear? Yes. Hold on. What? Hold on. I'm running in my underwear on Saturday. So hot. The undie challenge. So hot. I need to know more about this. It's called the Undie 500, and it's a family fun run and walk. Family? Mm-hmm. What kind of underwear? It's for colon cancer. I haven't decided. Maybe some rufflies? I want to go, but they don't make underwear big enough for me. That's fair enough. Oh, they do. Some boxers. I've seen Sanjaya in a Speedo before, and it is not a pretty sight. Thanks, brother. Why have you seen that? M1 Cave Dweller, our boy from Wisconsin. What's up, my man? How's it going, man? Good. How you doing? So I was picking up the kitchen, just kind of cleaning up a little bit, and then Jay's song came on, and I stopped moving. Completely. Completely. I was so transfixed. I just stared blankly. It's the best, isn't it?
time. I think if that song would have been longer, I would have stopped breathing. I know, dude. Thanks for the call, brother. We love you. And that, it's my favorite. When Jay is reading words on the page and he cannot get them out, dude, there is nothing that makes me happier. Explains a lot, doesn't it? All right, so M1 Code Blue from Ramona, you do the same bit that I do, right? I do, but I don't just talk over people. I think I can finish their sentences. I do it, too. And I can bleep. Completely wrong. I do it too. You're completely wrong though. I do it too. So you complete people's sentences and then they're wrong. And then they're wrong. That is perfect. Most of the time when I do it, it's right. Which even makes it worse. It makes it worse. My wife and I do that, but it's usually right. I do it at work. I do it to my partner, my family, everyone. pisses them off so bad. I know. I'm the worst. I'm one of the worst people in the world. There's no question about it. This one will get you. M1J Hammy from Mission Beach. What does your wife do? Well, she does two things. The first thing that she'll do is, it's really annoying to me, is she'll, when she's at a register, she'll just throw the cash or the credit card right on the counter rather than hand it to the cashier.
You're supposed to save that for the strippers. My God. My fiance does that as well. Throws it at him? What? Yeah, well, not throws it at him. Just puts it on the counter. Puts it on the counter. Oh. He actually takes a credit card and will, like, toss it. He'll flip it. Fling it. Who does he think he is? Yeah, it's not very respectful. It isn't very respectful. Do you get mad at him? Yeah. Sometimes I'll pick it up off the counter and hand it to the person. When I, the next time I see your fiance, Matt Commerce, I'm going to kick him in his shin. He thinks it's being like, bam, take it. Oh, like he's being funny guy? Like, I don't know what he thinks it is. Jay Hammy, have you told your wife that that's not cool? Oh, all the time. I pick it up off the counter and I hand it to him and I give her like the meanest look that I can possibly give her. Next time, here's what you should do. Pick it up off the counter, look to the cashier and say, I'd like to apologize for my wife's behavior. Oh, yeah, that won't get you in any hot water. She obviously doesn't know how to handle herself in certain social situations, so I do apologize for her. Unless you want sex again, I would not do that. No, I actually did that once, and it didn't work out so well. Yeah, it doesn't. What else does she do? You said you had two.
Yeah, she will walk through a store, pick things off the shelves, decide she doesn't want them, and put them back wherever she happens to be. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Thanks, brother. I appreciate it. Thank you. M1 Creme Brulee from La Jolla. Hey, how are you guys? Good. How are you doing? Good. First of all, I just want to say I love Jay's rap. That was hilarious. Isn't that great? Yes. I'm sure anyone driving on the freeway saw me cracking up. I'm sure they also understood. I know a lot of people. A lot of people listen to the Mikey show, so congratulations for making my day. Oh, you bet. Our pleasure. I will go to the grocery store and move the first item off the shelf, like move it out of the way, and I will grab the ones behind it. Oh, I'd do that. Heck yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want what's up front. I want what's in the back because not everyone has touched it. And I went to the grocery store with my sister. We were going to make dinner together, and it drove her nuts. She was like, really? She said, really? That's embarrassing. I don't know. I do that with anything that can perish. I grab what's in the back because they put the more expired, the later expiration date. I do that with milk. But I do that even with shampoo and stuff because I feel like people have sampled it.
Exactly. I'm like, I want the fresh one. Were they washing their hair in the store? Some people smell it. They'll squeeze it onto their fingers. Yeah, but you just squeeze, you smell the hole. You don't like squeeze it into your head. No, I don't want what people have been picking up. I'll take the fresh one in the back. Sometimes the shampoo will kind of like... splooge out. People may smell it. You just want to make sure you don't get the splooged one. I'd go for the back, too. There's nothing wrong with that. We're smart. Thank you. Move on, you children. Oh, hey. I wanted to tell you guys, this made me smile this morning because it reminded me of somebody we know and love. A design firm that is, of course, financed by the Pentagon because this is important. They broke the 23-year-old speed record for Legged robots. This is what a design firm funded by the Pentagon is working on. Running robots. So they built this robot. It looks like a cheetah. The prototype looks like a cheetah. That SOB can run 18 miles an hour. It's a robot. So now they can catch you. Yeah, it's a robot. They're going to take over. They're going to take us, they're going to beat us, and they're going to outrun us. Why are they building cheetahs that can run 18 miles an hour?
They ran out of women that could run 18 miles an hour. Oh, it's our old friend, the Tom Tom girl. That's correct. Could I get some drum rolls? Maybe. Or I bet you get a helicopter instead. I'll take that. Hey, look who's here. We missed you so much. I missed you as well. Where have you been? As much as a headache. Oh, wow. Where's the symbols on that? Cool. I guess I'll just do without sound effects. Where have you been? I've been hiding out. Why? There didn't seem to be much use for me on this program anymore. Why do you say that? We love you so much. I guess everyone knows where they're going nowadays. Nobody needs old Tom Tom lady. Didn't need your help anymore. Now you're Tom Tom lady. Now Tom Tom lady is all grown up. Just egg spoiling real good. Egg spoiled. Tom Tom, did you hear that our friend Lauren O'Brien got engaged? What?
Does that do for me, Woods? I don't know. I just thought you might be happy. I'm not engaged. That's fair enough. I'm not a friend. I'm a device. That is fair enough. There we go. Jay, do we have to go to break now? Yes, we do. Let's go to break. When we come back, we need you to call in right now with words for the Incorporator. I'm going to step out of the room. Emily's going to take your words. When we come back, we're going to play the Incorporator. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. There you go. All right, we'll be back in a second. Part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hi, Jay. Thank you. We're at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. I'm Woodsy. That's L-O-B. We're very happy about our eyes. 2015 vision for both, right? That's right. I was 2020, day of 2015, the next day, and I have not looked back since.
Yeah, you've been looking forward. Yes, I've been looking forward and looking clearly because I went to Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and got my eyes did. That is right. I did too. It's been phenomenal. Give them a call today, 858-452-3937. Check them out online, clearvieweyes.com. If you walk into the building, you know immediately you're in the right place. The place is awesome. State-of-the-art technology, equipment. And they do such a good job on your eyes, which is something that you don't want to really, you don't want to roll the dice with your eyes. No, you don't mess around. Like Jay one time told me he went to a dentist that had like one light bulb. It was in the guy's basement. Wood paneling. Wood paneling on the wall. It was at his home, which was weird. You don't want to take that chance with your eyes, man. Not with your eyes. You want to see, and you want to see perfectly, which we can, both of us. 858-452-3937. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Affordability, technology, and... Experience. I'm Nick Sobolewski, a SelectQuote agent with a true story of how SelectQuote goes to bat for you buying term life insurance. A while back, a man called me who had had prostate cancer. He asked if I could beat a very high quote another life insurance agent had given him. I said, let me see. Well, I took his pertinent information...
then shopped the highly rated price competitive companies we represent and found one who pre-approved him for a premium way below what he had been quoted. When it comes to term life insurance, no other company touches select quotes, experience, and expertise in finding the right policy at the right price for almost anyone. How about you? For your free quote, just call 1-800-400-1701. That's 1-800-400-1701. 1-800-400-1701. Or go to selectquote.com. We shop. You save. The time is now. April 27th. Where? The Open Sky Theater at Harrah's Rincon. On tour in support of their new album, If Not Now, When? Available now. Friday, April 27th. The Open Sky Theater at Harrah's Rincon. Tickets on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. Visit openskytheater.com or ticketmaster.com. Entertainers subject to change or cancellation must be 21 or older to attend events. For more info and tour dates, stop by enjoyincubus.com. Leslie French was hunkered down for a fight. I was just at the dealership looking for a car. Lured in by the enemy. No, it was pretty cool.
Cordial, but I did need a car loan fast. There was no time. I called Navy Federal Credit Union. A really nice guy approved me for a loan on the spot. Great rate, too. Victory was hers. Well, a convertible was mine. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. NavyFederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never frozen North American beef? Fresh cooked applewood smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. The pure and simple kick of cool, all natural. Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's guacamole bacon cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes. That's Wendy's way and participating Wendy's for a limited time. We now return to a Chevy dealer near you. You okay, Kyle? You look pretty wore out. I had the craziest dream last night. We were here at the dealership offering qualified customers, 0% APR financing on all 2012 Silverados and Traverses. Uh, that's not a dream. It's happening right now, Kyle. It's truck month. Really? Yeah. What about the part where my arms were espresso machines and I fell asleep inside the butter dish? That.
Was a dream. And there was the $2,000 allowance on eligible trade-in. That's reality. All month long. And I had that little dog made out of nachos. Dream. And the coverage on the Silverado was amazing. Reality. And I ripped off my shirt and demanded a raise. Oh, yes. That was Tuesday. Was anybody else here? Oh, everybody was here. It's truck month. For real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited, not available with some other offers, excludes leases, must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivered by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Over 200,000 customers are having a better hair day because of Ovation Cell Therapy. I had a brush full of hair every day. Since I started using Ovation, my hair is fuller and it's not falling out in the shower or the brush. Ovation also worked for my husband with his breakage. Thanks for a wonderful product. I'm a 40-year-old woman with extremely fine hair and I've been coloring it for over 25 years. Using Ovation has decreased my hair loss and increased the fullness of my hair. I plan on using this product for the rest of my life. Ovation works great.
After my baby was born, my hair was falling out and breaking off like crazy. Now my hair looks and feels better and is growing faster than it ever has. Thanks, Ovation. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. HalfpriceSanDiego.com has your March Madness headquarters this year lined up at Miller's Field in Pacific Beach. Are you ready for some college basketball? Miller's Field is the place to catch all the March Madness games. You can grab lunch at Miller's Field this Sunday for Bracket Selection Sunday, and then all the college basketball action begins next week. With food and drink specials every night of the week, Miller's Field is much more than just a great sports bar. You can enjoy a wide variety of unique entrees, each expertly prepared with the highest quality ingredients. Millersfield has killer food deals every week, like $5 Mexican entrees on Tuesdays, two pounds of wings for the price of one on Wednesdays, and large pizzas for the price of a small pizza on Thursdays. And of course, St. Patty's Day is right around the corner, with Millersfield bringing back Sebastian the Leprechaun as a guest bartender.
Miller's Field in Pacific Beach has it all this March with food and drink specials, college basketball, and St. Patrick's Day. Like Miller's Field on Facebook or go to millersfield.com for all the details. And be sure to check out howpricedandiego.com for great deals to local businesses every week. Protect your engine like never before with shell nitrogen-enriched gasolines. Now with 20% more cleaning agents, no other gasoline protects better. This report is brought to you by D.R. Horton. High monthly payments putting the brakes on buying a new home. Buy during March only at D.R. Horton, America's home builder. You can cruise into low monthly payments and a new home. Learn more at drhorton.com slash lower payments. Some slowing this morning on the 805 northbound from Claremont Mesa Boulevard to Balboa Avenue. And then again, as you come down the 805 northbound before Home Avenue, an accident. Tow trucks on the scene there. You've got slowing from Market Street all the way down to the 54 eastbound, about 16 to 29 miles an hour. Some backup over here on the 8 westbound from Greenfield Drive to Las Coches, about 28 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. From alignments and tires to maintenance and repairs, Toyota's got everything you need to help keep your Toyota running like a Toyota. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealer today. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9.
It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning brought to you by Islands Restaurants. Today under nice sunny skies, kind of clouds backed off. Surf's looking pretty weak out there. Kind of blown out as well. Overnight winds making a small west-northwest wind and groundswell combination. Kind of broken up and shifty. Might be able to grab a corner or two at the beach breaks. Reef breaks way too high a tide right now. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair needs, go CTO Roper. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 authentic surf report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like... Gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I have like a self-conscious 16-year-old sophomore that's real chubby. Lauren. I'm starting to feel guilty about it, though, because I'm wondering if I've disrupted the ecosystem at the lake. And Jay. Just because I like to be outdoors, you guys like to make fun of me. On FM 94.9. We're about to do The Incorporator. If you don't know what The Incorporator is, it's a game some friends of mine and I invented. Years ago, we were...
Slaves to our cubicle and just trapped there, making 100-plus phone calls a day. And you get bored. You'll start to lose your mind a little bit. So we would play this game where they would come into my office and they would say, all right, Woodsy, you got a candidate on the phone? I'm going to give you some words. And then you have to incorporate them into a sentence. So we started calling it the incorporator. Found out it works pretty good on the radio. So I'll leave the room, right? You'll tell everybody the words. I'll bail. Right now. And you make it right. Okay, get. And then I'll wave at you to come back in. Okay. Okay, we have eight words. We have silver. We have roll. We have lovely. We have bra. We have treehouse. Wrapper. Toothbrush. And foundation. Now, he's got to incorporate these words into it. We'll give him one word at a time. And I'm going to set it up, hopefully, where they can only hear him and they can't hear me. Yes. So, come back in, Woodsy. Hey. I didn't do it all at the same time. This would have been a good time to put it over this. So who's he calling today? Bill's texting me. All right, Jay, what is the first word? Your first word is silver. Silver. Silver. Are we going to have a communication problem? This is what's going to happen. If you screw up these words and I'm in the middle of this bit, I'm going to jump across at you. What's the first word? Silver. Silver. Okay. Okay, here we go. No talking. No talking.
Yes, my name's Bryce Torse. I was wondering if you could lead me, give me a little bit of direction. My friend, RJ, shot a silver fox, and I was wondering if I could get it stuffed. Yeah, yeah. We've done all kinds of animals before. Okay. Now, how do you do it? Do you do you roll them around like in some sort of paste or like how do you get like the fur to stick to it after you've stuffed it? Well, you know, that's a little complicated. I guess the best thing would be I would have to show you exactly how to do it. You know, you would actually show you would show me that that would be lovely if you if you could show me how it's done. I'd love to see how things get stuffed. Yeah, it's a complicated process. Well, the only stuffing I've ever seen is my little sister stuffing her bra. So I would love to see animals stuffed and things like that. Yeah, yeah. Well, that sounds like a story for another day. Absolutely. Yeah, you're more than welcome to come down. We'd be more than happy to walk you through the process and show you exactly how to take care of everything. Now, is the carcass of the animal, is it...
it's not all beat up and stuff, right? I mean, I don't know if, I don't know if he, no, it's not run over by a car. He shot it from a tree house. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. And he, it's, uh, he put it in like, um, plastic. So like he wrapped it, he wrapped it up. It's so it's in a wrapper. Well, well, how long ago now did this happen? It's been about two days. He had gone hunting. He had texted me and said that he left his toothbrush at home. So I remember that. Let me look at my texts real quick. Hang on. I'm just looking for the toothbrush text. Yeah, it's been about two days. Okay, yeah, you're going to want to hurry up and get that down to me before the animal starts to... Put it nicely, bloat and smell. That's absolutely disgusting. That is absolutely disgusting. Okay, I will come down. This is a present for him. He does a lot of charity work, and we're going to give it away at his foundation meeting, which is two days. Is that enough time for you to stuff it? Yeah, that'll be pushing it a little bit, but I'll see what I can do. You want to get that down to me as soon as possible.
Well, a two-day animal is not... Typically, you want to get those to me within 24 hours after they've been in a cooler. Well, next time I stuff something, I'll definitely remember that. So I will be down again. My name is Bryce Torse, and this will be for RJ. So thanks very much. All right, Bryce. Thanks so much. Bye-bye. Freaking day. I couldn't hear a word. I was trying to be really quiet. Oh, my God. You're whispering to... Like I'm going to whisper to your ear or something. I'll do it next time. Yes. Hey. That's hard, okay? It's my first time. He's nervous. He's putting the lotion on. Dude, you got me. Oh, man. That was good. I was laughing. I was hoping the guy couldn't hear me laugh. Oh, my God. What did you do here? What do you mean? What's with this? I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, why is there glue all over my hand now? What are you saying? Dude!
Did you check with my freaking lotion? I don't know what you're saying. Oh, I have glue all over my hands. How do you know it's glue? Because my hands are sticky. Look at this. Oh, now they're peeling. They're peeling. I almost just cursed. What did you do? I didn't do anything. What did you do? I did nothing. God dang it! I did nothing. I was already sweating like a pig after the Incorporated. I lean over for the word for Jay and I hear this. What? What is it? Now, look at my hands. Take a picture of my hands. My belly hurts. Do you have your camera with Lauren? Yes. Oh, my God. You freaking prankster. It was not me. Who was it? It wasn't you. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Oh, you monsters. Did both of you, are you both in on this? I have nothing to do with it. Oh, L.O.B., was this you? You did this? Yes. No way. Yes, I did. No, no. Oh, you are dead. I wanted to get in on the tomfoolery. It looks so fun. Did you really want to get in on the tomfoolery? No, you can't get back at me. I'm a girl. Wait. Oh, absolutely. You're dead. I get one pass. I'm sick. What is it?
It's glue. It's just Elmer's. You put Elmer's glue in my hand lotion. Why I have hand lotion is beyond me. I have been waiting all day for you to put that on. I've been waiting all day. It's usually every break. Yeah, it really is. I have glue all over my hand. Oh, man. I thought that they would stick right together. Oh, dude. Wow. Hey, it's sticky. You monster. Now it's all peeling. So now immediately my brain goes to, well. What can I put in her yogurt? No, you can't. You can't. I'm a girl. It doesn't matter. Equal rights. I'm sick. I'll wait until you're well. Come on. Be chivalrous. I'll lay in the weeds waiting. I had to play a prank because I'm sick. I needed to feel better. That's why. Yeah. I have glue all over my head. What if? You know sometimes I smear that on my face. Oh, I would have paid to see that. Oh, my gosh. All right. We have a best of clip we're going to go to. I'm going to kick L.O.B. in our stands. And, Jay, what's the clip? Do you know? It is. It says Jay's Skate Shop. Oh, perfect. Are you ready, Jay? Are you worried? You scared? I'm very scared. And I would like to take a pass. You can't. You can't. I would like to have someone else do it. You can't, Jay. You're doing an incorporator. I mean, we're doing an incorporator back to back. Come on. I'm going to keep an eye on it. Oh, here you come.
What do you mean you're going to keep your eye on him? You're about to read the words, right? Oh, that's right. I got to seclude this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seclude him. I got the words from listeners. If you've never heard The Incorporator, what we do is we are going to call a business, and this time we are calling Bob's Skate Shop. Somewhere, I don't know where it is. It ain't here. It ain't in San Diego. But the idea is that we call there, and you call us, you give us a bunch of words, okay? And I will call the words out to Jay. And Jay will have to incorporate those words into his conversation with Bob's Skate Shop. Now, here's the words. And they were given to us by M1 Poster, M1 Andrew, M1 Babe, M1 Sticky Fingers, M1 Surf Daddy, M1 Jason, M1 Sanjaya, M1 Pack Mat, and M1 Driver. Here's the words that he has to incorporate. Discharge. Hummingbird.
helicopter, scoundrel, halfpipe, Nintendo, spanking, irreverent, irrelevant. Irrelevant. But he says irreverent. And general population. Oh, no. Now, a lot of these words are words that he's had problems with already. Specifically. Specifically. And so, you, the listening audience, will hear my voice. The person on the phone will not. We're ready. You got this, Jay Bird. You got, oh, sure, Jimmy. The good thing about this game for you is that you don't ever really jack up words, so you should be fine. Oh, I should be okay. Don't get in his head. No problem. He never does to me. We're calling Bob's Skate Shop. Piece of cake. You can do it, Jay. I thought Woods would do it. That's why I thought the skate shop. Here we go. They cannot hear me. They can only hear Jay. Jay, your first word is discharge. Discharge. First word, discharge.
Hey, yeah, I wanted to bring my son by. We're looking to get a skateboard. I just don't want to get discharged too much money for it. I mean, do you have like all levels of skateboarding? Like skateboards to buy? Yeah, yeah, we've got a different... Something cheaper? Yeah, he's like, you know, he's little, man. He's like a hummingbird. And he's going to need like a shorter board, probably. Oh, yeah. We've got plenty of stuff for younger kids. Cool, because he's going to, you know, I'm pretty sure he's going to pull a move right off the bat at the helicopter and just go like, you know, whoopity, all crazy up in the air. Scoundrel. Scoundrel. But, you know, you guys don't have a lot of scoundrels down there that are going to, you know, take my money from me and, you know. I know like skate shops a lot of times have riffraff hanging around outside. We've got some around right now, so.
Well, I just built a half pipe for Jasper in the backyard, and so, you know, you guys should come skate it. You could check it out. You think I could get a discount if I let you come skate the ramp? Do you sell Nintendos as well at the shop? Like, those are games. Is it, like, more than just skating stuff? Spanking. All right. Now, don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. Okay. Well, that's cool. I guess it's irreverent if, you know, whether it is or isn't in the end, isn't it? So I'm going to come down. I'm going to come down right after work. And you just put me right in with the general population. And we'll get this thing done. Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. Come on by. All right. Get. That was awful. I couldn't look at any of you. Oh, my God.
He's watching the TV. I love how he worked. I love how he worked discharge. You're not going to discharge me for those boards, are you? As if he's saying overcharge or whatever. He just ran out. I feel like the guy knew he was being had, but was like, I don't know if I'm being had, so I better be serious. I have to talk to this guy. I have to talk to him. He's an adult. Because if I'm being had, maybe I'm being had, but maybe I'm not. In which case, I have to be normal. Jay said he was going to come down there and give him a spanking. Oh, my God. The guy was just silent. I wanted to hear his response to that so bad. I just didn't care anymore. I'm like, all right. LLB. Irrelevant. Isolate. Straight up. I mean, it was irrelevant. Irreverent. No, no, no, no. This was perfect, though. This is the best one ever. We've never had anything so perfect.
Whatever you think you know about this man is a rebel. Wow. Still painful. Oh, I love you. Speaking of laughs, I freaking was reading emails just now and texts, and I got a text that made me laugh so hard. You want to hear it? Yes. A girl says, a girl wrote in, she texted that she likes this new guy that she's seeing, but she doesn't think that she can date him. Because he's necklace and bracelet. Oh, no. He wears more jewelry than me. I love it. I laugh. I wear a necklace, but bracelet guy? Well, I got a bracelet on. You have a Coachella band from 2011 on. And you're 48. Still. It's his entry. It's his VIP entry. Is he? Are you hoping that you're like... Hey, they ain't even going to change the bands. I'm going to walk around. No, he says it's memory. I'm going to wear it until it falls off is what I was trying to do. That is filthy. It's never going to fall off. That's filthy, Jay. It's a VIP admission bracelet. You're still wearing it. You're a bracelet guy. You are a bracelet guy. I think what she's probably talking about, and look, I've got friends that are bracelet guys. I'm from New Jersey. I'm from the necklace bracelet guy capital of the world. Rings.
Yes. Ring guy? My dad has a necklace. He's had it forever. And it's a gold necklace. And it's a Libra because he's a Libra. And it just says, like, Libra with the scales on it. I wish I knew how to quit you. I don't think our dad's gay, but... You don't think so? He's married. He's from New Jersey. And he's from Jersey. It's kind of in the blood. I just remember I just said that. In the water. Capital, you know. Yeah. My dad also wears a gold cross. Yes. I have a silver cross that my wife bought me because I wanted to look like the guy from Kings of Leon. How about Thumbring Guy? Thumbring Guy is a weird dude. I'm not judging you. I'm not judging you. I'm just saying. I am. L-O-B is. I'm just saying. I'm not dating you. How about the yoga guy that has the snake band around his upper arm? What's a snake band? I don't know what that means. It's that copper. It's like a snake kind of. You wear it around your. Dudes wear that? Oh, I've seen a few. Yeah, they wear it on their upper arm. I see the balance bracelets. I see. I wore a balance bracelet for a while. My dad had a copper balance thing. Yeah. I'm out on that guy. I can't date that guy. I think what we're talking about, and you know, you know, it's a thick silver chain. It's kind of, you know, it's thick. Then you have a thick silver bracelet with several rings adorning your fingers.
If you're out there, I want to hear from you. I don't wear a lot of jewelry. Right now, the only piece of jewelry I have is an engagement ring. No big deal. Yeah, no big deal. But that's it. Like, I don't wear a lot. So if Matt, my fiance, started wearing necklaces or bracelets or rings, I would incessantly make fun of him until he stopped. I give two guys a pass. Okay. Johnny Depp and Keith Richards, which are basically the same person. Yep. For wearing any kind of jewelry? Rings and a lot of necklaces. Yeah, I'm not. They don't get past this. I give them both a pass. He's an artist. Well, yeah, he's an artist, and Johnny Depp could wear a turd around his wrist, and he'd still look pretty cool. So when you start making out with him, and he's like, hold on, my necklace is getting caught. Didn't you say that if you were to kiss one guy? Yeah, if I had to kiss a guy, it would be Johnny Depp. Had to, or if you got to. You got to kiss one guy. Fine, if I got to kiss one guy, it would be Johnny Depp. I say remove it. All right, here we go. Who's this? Oh, yeah, M1 Tim from Temecula. What's up, dude? College. And, you know, it's funny. I was just thinking this yesterday, actually. There's a guy in my English class every morning comes walking in holding a Starbucks coffee with a silver thumb ring and a silver bracelet on the same hand. I don't get it. Easy, Mr. T. Yeah, I don't know what's behind the mentality of, like,
This looks badass. Yes. I think it's like getting a tattoo without going through the pain of it. You know what's funny? The guy's kind of got a head on him, metaphorically speaking. He's got a little bit of an ego. I was watching him make his move on girls that are obviously not interested. I love that. Maybe you throw the bracelet to the side. Does he wear affliction t-shirts? Yeah, it was awful. Just graphic teed up real good. Affliction t-shirts, a blowout hairstyle, and a thumb ring. That's what I'm guessing. That's freaking amazing. I want to still talk about this guy. M1, we have to break. Do we have to break? Because I want to talk to this guy. Do we, do we, do we, do we? We do. M1 ring guy, we have to get him. Let's just take him quick. M1 ring guy. This is ring guy. Ring guy, you think it's cool? I think it's way cool. All right. What do you wear? Tell me exactly what you wear. All right. I got two earrings, you know, one in each ear. Right. I wear a necklace. I wear a bracelet. I wear a ring. And I've got three different bracelets because, you know. You can't wear everything with everything. Yeah, you got to switch it off. Wear one with everything. Hey, my motto, what I live my life by, is live and let live. Yep. I'm not judging you. I just don't get you. Are you married? I'm married. I got kids. Okay. LLB's not going to sleep with you, just so you know. Hey, that's okay. I'm sleeping with my wife. Oh, look at this guy. I like that guy. That's a good answer. I might have just changed my tune. I may get a bracelet. All right, we got to go to break.
All right. We've got to go to break. When we come back, we're going to be doing something. I don't know what it is. Oh, gas price is right. Call in right now. We're going to do the gas price. We want to give you a $50 gift card to get some gas because gas sucks to pay for right now. Later. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Geico talks about the job. At Geico. We've been serving the military for 75 years, so we know the military never sleeps. That's why GEICO's also on the job 24-7. Whether you are active duty, guard, reserve, retired, or a veteran, we're there when duty calls, just like you are. See how much GEICO's military discounts on car insurance could save you. Go to GEICO.com, call 1-800-MILITARY, or contact your local GEICO agent today. GEICO talks about being there.
At GEICO, we've been serving the military for 75 years, so we know that when it comes to service, there's nothing like boots on the ground. That's why GEICO's agents are stationed near most U.S. bases, so you can talk to an expert who knows the lay of the land. See how much GEICO's military discounts on car insurance could save you. Talk to your local GEICO agent today, or call 1-800- military presents obvious choices we're making a good choice is also an easy choice take drum solos you could go with or go wild and with unlimited music cricket is the obvious choice in wireless plans too that's millions of songs plus nationwide talk text and data starting at only 55 a month switch to cricket now and get the zte score android smartphone for only 49.99 when you transfer your number Facebook, Shazam, plus thousands of more apps, all with no contract. The choice is pretty easy. Head to MyCricket.com today. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer. Requires new activation. See store for plan, data usage, and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricket and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere.
Start up your savings in 2012 with the 12 Ways to Save sale going on now at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You'll spend less and get more at O'Reilly Auto Parts when you take advantage of the 12 great offers on items your vehicle uses every day. And with O'Reilly Auto Parts' everyday low prices, the savings keep adding up. Stop in today and stock up, but hurry because these 12 deals won't last long. During the 12 Ways to Save sale, Peak 50-50 Long Life Antifreeze is only $6.99 a gallon at your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store. It's guaranteed to provide maximum cooling system protection against damaging rust and corrosion. And it's pre-diluted and ready to use. So you'll save both time and money. Shop the 12 ways to save sale going on now at your local O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. In the years, there have been some things in your life that were simply phases. Trends and passing fancies. Like your leather pants phase. Or your passion for hacky sack. Or your crazy sweater collection. But there are other things in life that are really worth keeping up, like saving for your retirement. So when you're ready to start something great that you can really stick with, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With Way to Save Retirement, you can get started saving for your retirement with just a few simple steps. Open a Way to Save Retirement account and set up automatic transfers from your Wells Fargo checking account. You can choose how much you automatically put away for the future, and you can adjust the amount as your needs change.
The Way to Save Retirement account has all the tax benefits of an IRA, and your money is covered by FDIC insurance up to the applicable limits. It's easy to start, and there are no annual custodial or monthly service fees. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today to discuss how our Way to Save Retirement account can help get you on track. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. Hey, buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly, we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't... We're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ.
Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery processing and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Are you a small business owner looking to be successful on social media? Try social campaigns from Constant Contact. A new tool from the company that brought you email marketing. Visit ConstantContact.com. Well, I'll tell you what. If you are on the 805 right now, you're going to be spending some time here. The 805 northbound before Home Avenue, an accident there. They've got tow trucks on the scene. But you have a nice big delay starting off at Market Street, taking you all the way into Bonita Road.
And it's dropped even to 7 miles an hour in some spots there. The 905 westbound to the 5 North Connector, an accident. There were major injuries. And the 94 westbound Sweetwater Springs Boulevard to Avocado, it's about 28 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. From alignments and tires to maintenance and repairs, Toyota's got everything you need to help keep your Toyota running like a Toyota. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealer today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. EZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything at all. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Who's got that college, crazy, sexy, dirty story? I've got it. You got it? Yeah, you want to hear it? Yeah, tell me all about it. So, can you imagine suing your college? Because your roommate is having too much sex. Apparently, this 22-year-old woman is suing her former college, Stonehill College, because her roommate had nonstop sex to the point where it made this girl suicidal. Shut up. She is seeking $150,000 from the college. The college is saying, well, wait a minute. We offered you a chance to switch rooms, go to a private room, but you refused all of them.
After she graduates, she's trying to go back and sue. She's got no beef. Yeah, she didn't leave the situation. This girl was throwing it down next to her. And when she wasn't having somebody in the room with her, she was video sex chatting. Identical Jay and Kim Isbell in college. Maybe not. Maybe not. Did you do the sock on the door? No. What? I didn't do sock on the door. Oh, we did sock on the door. We had socks on the door. My roommate in college, my very first roommate I ever had, stole my phone card and called his girlfriend who lived in Canada, maybe Canada or New York or something. Ran up like, I don't know, $500 worth of charges on my phone card. And I stole his Camaro and drove it into a wheat field and left it there. What? Suck it. Yeah. I left it there. You left it there? Yeah, we went joyriding in it, and I left it there with the keys in it. I taught him a lesson. Yeah, I taught him a lesson. Oh, my gosh. You don't steal my phone card. Gosh. A phone card for a Camaro? $500. Oh, my gosh. Yo, that seems fair, then. I got chewed for that bit. Yeah. I got chewed. I had some nightmare roommates at college. I also had some really cool ones that I'm still good, good friends with, but. Yeah. What? I'm just wondering when Jay's going to turn the music on. I don't know. I was enjoying it in the background. Wow. It was so distressed.
I look at L.O.B., and L.O.B. is looking out of this corner of her eye. I'm like, what the hell is going on? I was watching his hand to see if he is going to take it. We're having that on long enough. It's on too long. L.O.B. can't be satisfied. We are having so much fun. Oh, my goodness. I hope you guys are having fun with us. That story is funny, and it's absolutely everywhere today. Hey, let's play Gas Prices, right? M1 Scotty from Carlsbad is on the line. Jay Bird, want to grab him? I do, so badly. Let's get him. You want to get M1 Scotty? M1 Scotty, are you there? Yes, I am here. Oh, hold on. Hold on. I'm messing up Jay's mojo. Go ahead, Jay. You've got to give me a second. Go ahead. You've got too many things you've given me. Everybody be quiet. Hey! The Gas Price is Right. M1 Scotty from Carlsbad, you will be playing The Gas Price is Right today. Do you know how the game is played? Yes. Okay. The average price of gas in San Diego is $4.37, which is just absurd. So what we did, by we I mean L-O-B, went to the gas station. No, this time I went to an actual supermarket. All right. Went to the supermarket. Yeah. Okay. Well, basically. That's what I did the last time I had it. Okay. That's fine. Listen, you do what you want to do. That's what the Price is Right does. I don't really do.
They vote this is the gas price. Right. Right. But we're talking about goods as opposed to everyone knows that the prices are inflated at the gas station. M1, Scotty from Carlsbad. Okay, $4.37. You got to tell me whether or not this item is more or less than $4.37. It's really easy. If you win, Jay, what is he going to win? He's going to win a $50 gift card to a gas station from the Mikey Show. Excellent. All right. Come on down. Are you ready on one, Scotty? Yeah. All right, here we go. One jar of Lay's French onion dip. Is that more or less than $4.37? Less. You are correct. You are one for one. All right. Maybe some applause. No? Okay. How many do I got to get? Okay. You got to get three out of five. All right. All right, you ready? Yep. A small tin of Planter's Cocktail Peanuts, a 12-ounce tin. Is that more or less than $4.37, a small tin of Planner's Cocktail Peanuts? Less. Oh, it's more. It's $4.99. Nuts are expensive. Yep. Nuts cost a lot. He had to say nuts. Nuts. He had to do it. L-O-V. He had to do it. I know. I know. All right. All right. Now, one pack of regular Oreos, $4.07. Oh, my God. You stupid bastard. I blew it. All right.
All right, he gets a gimme. Yeah, he gets a gimme. You got that right. Hey, well done. Wow. You stupid-looking idiot. So for the record, it was how much? It was a pack of Oreos. It was $4.79. Hey, you guessed correctly. All right, all you need is one more. You ready? Yes. You got a 50-50 chance. Yeah. I'm going to cover. I'm literally covering the price with my finger so I don't read it. 50. An eight-pack of Ballpark Frank's Hot Dogs, a.k.a. eight of Jay's Wieners. Yeah. Is that more or less than $4.37? They plumb when you cook them. They plumb when you cook them. It is more than. Oh, dude, just barely. Well, you win. He wins. He's a winner. He's a big wiener. Applause. You're the big wiener. You're the big ballpark wiener. Hang on the line. Emily will get your information. Congratulations. $50 gift card for you, my brother. Yeah, $50, man. That helps out. That would get me a half a tank in my suburban. Yeah, it might give me about a good one.
Dude, congratulations. Okay. That was awesome. I love the gas prices, right? Especially when I give them the price. Yeah, it makes it a lot easier. It makes it so much easier. It's weird. Yeah. And you're giving me grief. It's a lot of fun. All right, so do we have a best of clip, Jay Bird? We sure do. Okay. What is it? It's imagations. Thank you, baby Jesus. Here we go. It is time. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, for imagations. Brace yourselves. It is time for imagations. The way that it works is we take a well-known, best-selling author, Jason R. Isabel. Yes. He is a thespian, an actor, and a really aficionado when it comes to voices. Yes. And so we get to hear his voices. Okay, he turned the microphone off so he could... I was burping really loud.
Are you ready, Jay? I will tell him what he's going to do. I'm ready. Jay, you are surely from what's happening and you're mad at Dwayne. What you talking about, Dwayne? Really loud. That was... So you're mad at Dwayne for... Dwayne! I swear, Dwayne. For spilling his milkshake all over the diner. Your milkshake is... Is it? Dwayne, why didn't you spill your milkshake? I don't know. I made a mistake. I do not spill your milkshake in my place. That's the first time I've ever spilled it. No, don't you lie to me, child. Child, we all know you're a milkshake spiller. Thank you, Shirley. Pick up that milkshake now. Hit the road, Dwayne. Oh, my gosh. All of Shirley's signature phrases. Don't make me come in there. Remember that one, don't make me come in there? Remember what's happening? Remember a child?
Oh, my God. I have tears. I actually have tears. On the side of my left eye. Hey, we're moving on up. That was fantastic. I wish I had saved that one for last. Oh, absolutely. How do we top that? Damn it. Perfect. We're not done. I don't know how this is going to go, but we'll try this. You are a Wall Street broker advising someone which stocks to buy. Oh, very nice. I'll tell you this. If I was buying stock, I would buy the top gold. Gold is selling very high right now. Thurston, how much is gold going for right now? $99 an ounce. $99 an ounce? But I wanted to know about stocks. Yes, stocks. Well, I bought stocks of gold. Can I ask you a question?
What is the difference between a mutual fund? Oh, thank God you asked. Yes. What's the difference between a regular fund and a mutual fund? Well, a regular is for the regular Joe. Right. And the mutual is mutually beneficial to all of us. I would buy... Lovey, Lovey. Get in here, Lovey. These peons. His dialogue, it's second to none. It's outstanding. It's second to none. Where do you get it? He got it from Gilligan's Island. That's where he got it. Oh, wow. Julie, what do you think? I love the callback. The double. The double. The double. Holy cow. He's got the callback. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I love this game. I love this game. And now for our last one, what we're going to do is we're going to transport everyone listening to downtown San Diego. where there's a movement happening. Really, there's a movement happening all over the world. Yep. And we are going to talk to Charlie Sheen, who is live at Occupy San Diego, talking to the hippies and the... Bring it. Bring it. So, Charlie, Charlie, what have you noticed down there? This is Charlie Sheen. Yes, I know. What have you noticed down there? He just introduced you. This is Charlie Sheen, smoking some weed.
What have you found, Charlie, as you've talked to people? What have you found? Some good weed. Shut up. Shut up. This is Charlie, all right? Charlie Sheen. Sheen. Charlie Sheen. Bring it. Bring it. I mean, like, when I say bring it, I mean marijuana. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah, see? I'm Charlie Sheen. Yeah. Yeah, see? Hello, my baby. Baby, hello. I'm Charlie Sheen. I didn't know you were so sensitive. Jealous. Winning. Winning. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. No, it's winner, winner, Sheen dinner. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. You're jealous. You're jealous. I get to sit next to these two smoking hotties. Shut up. Shut up, shut up. Move on.
Move forward. I didn't know you were so sensitive. I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were so sensitive. That is... I do love me some imaginations. Oh, wow. That was ethical. 570-1949 is the number if you want to get a hold of us. It's brilliant. Speaking of Occupy Wall Street, a couple more New York police officers are being investigated for... Treating people poorly in New York City that are down at Occupy. Occupy Wall Street. Yep. Just occupying everywhere. Occupy. Occupado. Occupado. In Portland, it got real out of hand. Did it? Yeah, man. They were like being violent and stuff. Probably because of all the vampires there. Probably. That is a true statement. Here's five qualities we want somebody that we work with.
including making sure that we don't have to do extra work and supplying us with junk food. That is, just to let you know, we like that. Here's one of them. Having a sense of humor, not taking things too seriously is something that we look for in a co-worker. Absolutely. Which I'm now, all of these things, by the way, I'm reading these and I'm going, I'm really working on that. You've always had a sense of humor, obviously. Yes, but I do think I take everything too seriously. Oh, yeah, for sure. Number two, always pulling your weight at work. So you're getting your, whatever you're responsible for, you're doing it. Oh, yeah. Yes. It's a big player with our team. Yes, it is. We like to make sure everybody does. Yes, we will stay on top of everyone. And by we, I mean Jay. Jay. Will, yes. He is the father of our program. And he will come into the studio and he will say to you, just like your dad, you just going to leave this here? Why is this such a mess?
What's going on with this? Yeah, what's up with this? What's up with this is a very popular phrase. Very popular. I cannot turn it off. You can't. Yeah. Four kids, you know, I get it. What's this leftover pasta out here, L.O.B.? I'm about to microwave it. It's why it's next to the microwave. Well, don't leave it. Hey, don't leave it right there. Just don't leave it there. Well, I don't know where else to put it. Well, just don't put it there. I don't care where you put it. Just don't put it there. God bless. L.O.B., is that coffee cold? Yeah, but it's okay. It's how I like it. Happy birthday. Just leave it there. I guess, hey, I guess the cleaning people will do it, right? I'm going to drink it. Are you racist or something? You want the, I guess the Mexican lady. Yeah, yeah. Take care of it. I'll take care of it. Mexicans will take care of it. Hey, Rita Franklin, everybody. Hey, look at that. You're projecting Mike and Woods' activities onto me. How dare you. How dare you, LLU. We were on your side. Here's another thing that people really like from their co-worker. Bring homemade treats. You bring homemade treats, you get on your co-workers' good side. I'm going to start doing that. Oh, boy. Except here. I brought in some people who are like, I don't eat this fat. Get this fat out of here. Yeah, and I bring my healthy stuff, and you guys are like... Yeah, what are you going to do? She's going to bring us whey brownies. She brought us freaking kelp bread. Yeah, guys, it's kelp bread. It is. It tasted like a goldfish. I loved it. It tasted like butt. Thank you, Jay. Number four. I'm lying. No, I'm not.
Stepping up when someone else isn't pulling their weight at work. That's a big Woods thing. Woods will do that for people. I do that for people. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was doing. And number five is bringing in store-bought treats. You go to the store, you buy stuff. Yeah. Bring in cookies. You know, we used to do that for each other a lot. We used to bring each other coffee and danishes and like. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Like I would go. I would run down to CVS and bring you guys back like a smoothie or something. I brought you a coffee and Danish on your birthday. That is true. And it was tasty. I can still taste it. You don't bring me flowers anymore. This used to be so different. L.O.B. would bring things that weren't made of hay. Do-do. Yeah, poop. Poop. That tasted like the bottom of an aquarium. I did, I did. I brought you guys some Aussie. Those freaking cookies that she made. Do you remember those cookies she made? Yeah, L.O.B. went from making delicious little treats to making us... Poo cookies. Yeah. She's like, now I'm going to get you guys healthy. I've made you fat, now I'm going to get you healthy. That's right. Yes, I got too fat. Did you? Should I isolate that clip? L.O.B. Yes. Yeah, you're fine. You don't worry about it. What? You have the gift. About what?
Getting too fat. I wasn't listening to our messed up clip. I was too busy. You said you were getting fat from us having all the snacks. L.O.B. L.O.B. She's had it today. I have. I just farted in the studio. And you would have thought that I just kicked a little kid. Yes. There's a lady. We are in a soundproof studio, which means also it seals everything in. That's fair enough. I apologize. Do I? No, you don't. And I will stop. No, you won't. You're a chronic abuser. There is someone on the phone that wants to bust somebody on our program. And for once, it's not me. M1, what is that? Lauren? Lauren. Yes. M1 Lauren. Are you there? Hi. I'm here, guys. Tell me what you saw. I have to report that I saw Jay at my yoga class, my hot yoga class. wearing some really ridiculously small booty shorts. That is a lie. No way. That is small. Jay, let her speak. Yeah, listen, it's hot yoga, so people generally don't wear a lot, but he sticks out for his lack of clothing. Jay, let her speak.
He's far more naked than anyone else in the glass. Jay, you creep. You're disgusting. They are board shorts. And yes, they do roll up because they are tight. I don't want them sagging down. I don't want to be hanging out. You roll up board shorts? No, they roll up because the way you're working around, they are small. I'll give you that. They are small. They are the smallest, tightest shorts I've ever seen a man wear ever. I have a question for you. Yes. There's not really a, you can't really see a discernible package there, can you? Does it look like a Kindle? Was there gray wiring? There's not a whole lot left of the imagination. I'll put it that way. Well, when your shorts are that tight. Jay, you're creepy. You're a freaky. There's people in there that was much smaller. You're that guy. You're a sex pervert. I wear no shirt. That's exactly what I'm saying. No. Emma and Lauren, I want to thank you so much for the call. Yes. Now we have some ammo. We have ammo to know that our friend Jay freaking goes to hot. I just wanted the truth to be known. Thank you so much for calling me. You are that guy. There's one in every class. There is guys who are much smaller. It completely is. It's you. You. You're the one. Jay, you wear short shorts. Never call again. You wear short shorts to hot yoga. Do you wear those to the beach as well?
I've surfed in them, yeah. In tiny little booty shorts. They're not booty shorts. Why are you wearing booty shorts? They go down almost to my knees. No way. When you said board shorts, actually, I have a legitimate question for you. No, that means it's a fake question. No, I have a legitimate question. When you just said, I wear board shorts, did you mean to say, I wear boy shorts? No, I did not. They're trunks. I have a legitimate question for you. No, you don't. Do you try to save money by sharing shorts with your wife? No, I do not. I also have a legitimate question for you. No, you don't. Yes. Are they, in fact, your eight-year-old son Jasper's shorts? Because you won't buy. I could not fit my leg in his shorts. Couldn't you? I have a legitimate question for you. Why will you not give up on your dream of becoming a male stripper? Yeah, seriously. Why have you not given up on that? How do you know I'm not a male stripper? What's a male stripper? You are such a creep. This morning, I wrote a parody about Jay's Thin Dong. It's very short. Yes. And Robert Sherman is the gentleman. He passed away. His name is Robert Sherman. He used to write all the catchy songs for Disney, like It's a Small World. When we come back, we'll play you the parody I wrote about Jay's wiener. See ya. The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. This is the FM. Supported by our good friends at AIS Insurance. What's up there, Sugar Bonds? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. There's a lot going on tonight.
Rachel Yamagata plays at the Loft. Republic of Letters with the Henry Clay people are at the Casbah. Willie Nelson at Balboa Theater. There's a benefit for San Diego Coast Keepers at the Belly Up with the Barnwell Shift and Big Penny. You can see Magnetics at Bar Pink. Mellie Francis and the Distilled Spirits at the Griffin. And Lady Dottie and the Diamonds at Gallagher's. Tomorrow night, Italian, Japanese, and Low Volt play the Casbah. The Silent Comedy and Dead Feather Moon and the Howls are at the Belly Up. And Friday night, you can see Lagwagon and House of Blues or the Stone Foxes at the Casbah. Still to come, we have shows from the Ting Tings, Henry Rollins doing Spoken Word, Sleigh Bells, Transfer, Incubus just announced a date, Tune Yards with St. Vincent. Clap your hands, say yeah. Mike McCready's coming to town in May. Also, Dumb Dumb Girls, Donovan Frankenreiter, and Reverend Horton Heat with Super Suckers. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com.
We now return to a Chevy dealer near you. You okay, Kyle? You look pretty wore out. I had the craziest dream last night. We were here at the dealership offering qualified customers, 0% APR financing on all 2012 Silverados and Traverses. Uh, that's not a dream. It's happening right now, Kyle. It's truck month. Really? Yeah. What about the part where my arms were espresso machines and I fell asleep inside the butter dish? That... Was a dream. And there was the $2,000 allowance on eligible trade-in. That's reality. All month long. And I had that little dog made out of nachos. Dream. And the coverage on the Silverado was amazing. Reality. And then I ripped off my shirt and demanded a raise. Oh, yes. That was Tuesday. Was anybody else here? Oh, everybody was here. It's truck month. For real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited. Not available with some other offers. Excludes leases. Must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivery by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. The time is now. Incubus Live. The Open Sky Theater at Harrah's Rincon. On tour in support of their new album. If not now, when? Available now.
An important announcement from Big Bear Mountain Resorts. It has come to our attention that many of you are waiting for snow. There you sit, watching the weather reports and lovingly stroking your bindings. Well, wait no more. Conditions at Big Bear Mountain Resorts are good. Damn good. I would go so far as to say kick ass. Because at Big Bear Mountain Resorts, we don't wait for snow. We make it. We make a pant load of it every day.
And don't think just because it's man-made snow it's not as good. This is real snow, made with actual air and water, just like nature would make if it had the time. Most runs are open, all chairlifts are operable, and you're not going to hit any rocks or bear patches because the snowpack is plenty deep. So get off your can and come to where the snow is. The weather may be mild down there, but up here it's practically winter. Carpe Schium. Seize the snow. With excellent snow coverage and nearly 100% of runs open, now is the time to ski and ride at Snow Summit and Bear Mountain. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter for current info. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. No, I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart. Shop at Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Right now, Albertsons whole chickens are just 69 cents a pound. Limit to buy one for dinner tonight and save one for later. And pick up Haas avocados. They're priced at a low 69 cents each. And while you fill your cart, fill your prescription.
Albertsons is proud to welcome Express Scripts members at all of our Save-On pharmacies. See store for details or visit albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find great savings and more at Albertsons. It's got 180 horsepower, 18-inch alloy wheels, and received an NHTSA 5-star overall safety rating. It's the 2012 Scion TC. Check it out starting at 19, 305. Scion, what moves you? 2011 model tested and is identical to 2012 model. Government five-star safety ratings are part of the U.S. Department of Transportation's new car assessment program. Visit safercar.gov. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license, and optional equipment. Dealer price may vary. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never-frozen North American beef? Fresh-cooked applewood smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. Guacamole. The pure and simple kick of cool, all-natural. Guacamole. Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes. That's Wendy's way. And participating Wendy's for a limited time. Introducing Just For You from Vons. An online way to save more than ever on groceries. Click, shop, save. Sign up for Just For You at Vons.com and get a free dozen eggs.
This report, it's brought to you by Happily Divorced, only on TV Land. Watch Fran Drescher tonight in the season premiere of Happily Divorced, tonight on TV Land at 1030, 930 Central. Right after an all-new Hot in Cleveland, only on TV Land, the laugh is back. Well, if you're on the freeway, not laughing this morning. Lots of accidents. The 805 northbound before Home Avenue, a problem here. And then you have that huge delay starting off at Market Street. It goes all the way down into Chula Vista to Medina Road, about 12 to 26 miles an hour. 54 westbound before Rio Drive, a stalled vehicle. And then another problem over here on the 5 northbound at the 163 north, an accident there. I'll take you up here to the 8 westbound before the 805 northbound, an accident in that area. They do have tow trucks on the scene. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners from alignments and tires to maintenance and repairs. Toyota has everything you need to help keep your Toyota running like a Toyota. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealer today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like, gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I like to collect stuff. I collect sports stuff and all that, like memorabilia. Lauren. No way I'd rather freeze to death than be stuck on an elevator. You would? Yes.
And Jay. I did have a big, giant pickle barrel that I loved. On FM 94.9. I did have a big, giant pickle barrel that I loved. And you hear Ella Bee go, in the background. In a second, we'll tell you about Robert Sherman, who passed away. He was the, he was a Disney songwriter, and he wrote all, I mean, he wrote Supercats are Fragile. Say it. Yeah, say it. Oh, eat me. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. He wrote Chim Chim Cherie, and he wrote It's a Small World. I wrote a parody about Jay's Wiener this morning. But first I want to tell you, if you need business cards, anything like that graphic design, call our friend Jared Marshall. Jared is... The man. He's done. I mean, the guy is a jack of all trades. He's done everything for us. If you're my Facebook friend, look at my current profile picture. That's all Jared's work. He's phenomenal. It's createyourdesignonline.com. Our buddy Jared will take care of you. So I was telling you that Robert Sherman, dead at the age of 86, wrote some really big hits for Disney. He did not have this in mind when he wrote It's a Small World.
It's a long, thin dong. Sometimes it's bare. It plumps when you cook it, but you'd never know it. It's a long, gray, skinny, thin dong. It's a thin dong after all. It's a thin dong after all. I'm getting it. Oh, there we go. It's a long, gray, skinny, thin dong. There we go. Wow. Now everyone in San Diego knows about your long, wrinkly, skinny, thin dong. Plumps. Plumps. When you cook it. When would you cook it is what I want to know. If I have to explain to you. When it gets hot. Oh, that makes me so happy to talk about Jay's thin dong. I noticed. Yeah, it does. Your eyes get a glimmer in them. You'd love to look at it. It's so wrinkly and creepy. It's so creepy. I got a Facebook message that, I don't want to say infuriated me, but it made me, I was incredulous. Did you answer the person? Yes, I answered them, of course. Here it is. This is from M1Aaron. This was to my Facebook. It says, advice please.
My new boyfriend and I were watching a How I Met Your Mother episode, and one of the topics was keeping things your ex gives you, and if that applies also to animals. In the show, the girlfriend gives away her dogs because they were presents from her ex. I have one such dog I got as a gift. Do I have to give it away? Are you kidding me? I want to hear what people think. 570-1949. My answer was, it was obvious. There's a picture on my Facebook of me last night in my bed with my seven dogs. I have seven dogs. Four of them are rescue dogs. And look, once you get a dog, you're the mom and dad of the dog. You don't give it away because your ex-boyfriend gave it to you. It's like giving away a child. Yeah, for me it really is because we don't have kids. Those are our kids. I don't look at them as anything different than a child, honestly. And look, sometimes things happen to where... extenuating circumstances or whatever, but look, if your boyfriend gives you a dog and you guys are raising the dog as your own and you guys break up, figure out who's going to keep the dog and then you keep the dog. You don't give it away. Right. Am I wrong? In this situation, like I think there's situations where you can give a dog away if it's a better situation for the dog. I agree with that. If you now have like...
kids that can't play well with a dog and all you're going to do is keep them in a crate, I think it's better to be with somebody else. If it's just a matter of the new person is, like, jealous, because... That's what this one was about. That's ridiculous. What if he hates the dog? Doesn't matter. Then he's not the right guy for her. He's not the right person. I mean, must love dogs. If you're a dog lover and you have a dog, you kind of have to date someone that likes dogs. Yeah, can you imagine if... I'd never really had dogs growing up, and Jamie always, my wife Jamie always did. And boy, once we bought Penny Bell was our first dog we bought. You want to talk about falling in love? I fell in love with this dog. There's no question. It's a slippery slope for you. What does that mean? It means you have a lot of dogs now. You start sliding and you can't stop. Yeah, I'm sliding like a madman. Somebody wrote me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to adopt this eight-month-old German Shepherd puppy. And I said... I'll think about it. You might be arrested if you have any more dogs. I know. Or they might be taken away from you. I know. And that would kill me. Because your landlord technically doesn't know. Well, let's not talk about it right now. You know, let's not. We don't need to broadcast that. So we wanted to take some calls, but Jay is giving me the break sign. But well, let's take this one real quick. Okay. M1 something. I don't even know what it is. Hello? Bird. Apertrocious. Apertrocious bird. Oh. Okay. You should get a more confusing M1 name. I'm just kidding.
What did you have to say? I don't think you should have to give up your animal. I mean, it's like your kid, basically. And they have feelings and, you know, they can tell when something's going on. Why should you have to give up your kid? It's ridiculous. You shouldn't. You absolutely should not. And, you know, if your new boyfriend is jealous... that your old boyfriend gave you a dog, tell your new boyfriend to check his sack and grow up. He should become your new ex-boyfriend. Exactly. When people do that, that was like their kid. Oh, I'm sorry. You had a kid from another relationship. We can't work out. Yeah, exactly. It's not going to work. I don't want your kid. You have to give it to your ex. I mean, it's just, it's ridiculous. Thank you for the call. We appreciate it. And we are going to break. And when we come back, we've got a Miley Cyrus story. There's this tweet that she sent out. And that is causing all kinds of trouble. We'll tell you all about it. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, guys. It's your old pal, Woodsy. I will be at Dave and Buster's tomorrow night from 5 to 7. It's something that we do every Thursday. It's happy hour. And it's also an FM 94.9 random act of kindness. And what that means is you get to come out and get...
concert tickets and t-shirts and cds we want to hook you up we want to take care of you but also we'll take care of you like dave and busters takes care of us and you as well half-priced appetizer specials drink specials late night happy hours unlimited video play with purchase of a power card sunday through thursday 10 p.m to close it is so much fun if you haven't been yet you come out and meet your old pal woodsy let's hang out we'll shoot some hoop Throw some football. It's 2931 Camino del Rio North. It's right off the 8. It's here in Mission Valley. And I think I've got tickets to see the Ting Tings, Portugal the Man, maybe some Rise Against tickets. I'll need to double check. I shouldn't just say stuff, but I just did. So Dave and Buster's Thursday night happy hour with me, FM 94.9. It's a blast. Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play. Cricket presents Obvious Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take drum solos. You could go with... or go wild. And with unlimited music, Cricket is the obvious choice in wireless plans, too. That's millions of songs, plus nationwide talk, text, and data, starting at only $55 a month. Switch to Cricket now and get the ZTE Score Android smartphone for only $49.99 when you transfer your number.
Facebook, Shazam, plus thousands of more apps, all with no contract. The choice is pretty easy. Head to mycricket.com today. Cricket, your call. Limited time offer. Requires new activation. See store for plan, data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text and data plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. The Ovation Nation just keeps growing. Over 200,000 customers have repaired dry, brittle and damaged hair with Ovation Cell Therapy. I'm thrilled to report. And it's growing. It really is a miraculous revolution. I'm a believer and I'm telling anyone who will listen, Ovation is an amazing product.
Ovation Cell Therapy can help repair the damage caused by harsh chemicals and heat styling and grow your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Ovation is safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. And it's easy to use. Just a simple cream rinse type application. Learn how your hair can become healthy again. Log on to OvationHair.com and when you enter FM 94.9, you'll receive a special introductory discount at checkout. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 at checkout for your... special discount the ovation nation just keeps growing hi my name is sophia i'm a fresh and easy neighborhood market customer and i'm happy to make this commercial for fresh and easy this is a commercial for fresh and easy neighborhood market made with real customers not famous actors saving money we pass on to you i like the smaller feel of fresh and easy i just wanted an alternative to the big chain stores i wanted different types of food more ready-made food So I feel like this offers me a really good selection on fresh foods and prepared foods that are going to be easy for me and make my life easier. I didn't pack my lunch today. I just wanted to run in real quick and pick up something. I know exactly where to go. The food's already prepared for me. I can pick it up, still eat healthy, still eat relatively inexpensive and have a great meal. Thanks, fresh and easy. Thanks, Sophia. Now everyone can save on our new easy lunch combo. Choose from a variety of fresh salads, sushi or sandwiches. Add fruit.
Snack-sized chips, nuts, or Greek yogurt, and a drink of your choice. All for just $6 plus CRV. Grab your nutritious lunch combo today. See store for details valid through March 13, 2012. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep. House hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage. It was a trap. It was an open house and a busy one. They were being overrun. A lot of people did seem interested, but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with Navy Federal Credit Union. Called in the big guns. Really nice and helpful for big guns. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Equal housing lender. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never frozen North American beef? Fresh cooked applewood smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. The pure and simple kick of cool, all natural. Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's guacamole bacon cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes.
That's Wendy's way, and participating Wendy's for a limited time. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size Claim Certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. The cities within San Diego, as well as the port, the airport authority, and the county have joined together to address stormwater pollution prevention. Storm drains and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, pet waste, pesticides, and other pollutants, flows untreated directly into local waterways. you can help prevent pollution in your area and ways you can make a difference at thinkbluesdregion.org. This report brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. Well, you've got an accident over here that's causing some delays. You travel on the 8 eastbound, that Fairmont Avenue off-ramp. Also a problem on the 8 westbound before the 805 north. They've got tow trucks on the scene. Things looking a little better on the 805 northbound. Speeds about 40 miles an hour from Home Avenue to 47th Street.
And then it gets kind of tough as you travel from Sweetwater Road on the 805 northbound to Bonita Road. Then you're back into the teens. The 5 northbound is still very slow from 94 eastbound to 7th Street. Speeds about 14 to 13 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Jersey Mike Subs. Please join Jersey Mike's this month for their month of giving. They're supporting Rady Children's Hospital. To make a difference, make it Jersey Mike's. And make it count. Over 600 stores nationwide. Visit JerseyMike's.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not macho. Woods. I've never realized how fat I was until I got on a skateboard. Oh, wow. Lauren. I like it. A guy that's off Facebook is cool. And Jay. Oh, the recliner's mandatory. On FM 94.9. Stop. God, people are up in arms about Miley Cyrus. Oh, right. All right, so it's a little convoluted, but I'll see if I can break it down for you. Miley Cyrus.
controversial gal. We all know about the penis cake that she had. Oh, yeah. She was doing some things to it and whatever. I won't get into the super... detail about it. She's growing up. She's growing up. They caught her smoking salvia, which is I guess like weed. I don't know. I don't know much about salvia. You have a salvia card. I don't have a salvia card. You went to a doctor and you said you had back pains. Nope. That is untrue. I heard it's legal anyway. Why do you have a card? I don't know. What do you need your card for if it's legal? Yeah, if it's legal. I don't know. We're not talking about me. We're talking about Miley Cyrus. Right, okay. So she tweeted a photo of a guy named Lawrence Krauss. And he is a... What? Krauss. He is a theoretical physicist. And along with the word beautiful, okay, on the tweet. She's very deep. Yes. She's...
tweeting pictures of theoretical physicists. Now, the quote on the picture said, you are all stardust. You couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded because the elements, all things that matter for evolution weren't created at the beginning of time. They were created in stars. So forget Jesus. Stars died so you can live. Now, Miley didn't say forget Jesus. Miley didn't say you are all stardust. She just tweeted this guy's... picture and said, beautiful. I just thought he was like, good looking and stuff. Wow. First of all, I'd like to come out on several things that I've been waiting to talk about. Okay, Miley Cyrus, by the way. This is the forum to do that. Miley Ray Cyrus. This is Miley Ray Cyrus. You are always in trouble, it seems like. People need to keep their eyes on their own paper, okay? Right. First of all, I'm a young, hot teen. That's subjective. I am the hottest thing going and I'm a good singer. And I'm a good dresser. Okay. I come from a well-established family. That is true. That is, we're all proper. Well, no, you're wealthy. You're hillbillies. I said, what? You're a hillbilly. No, we ain't hillbillies. We are redneck and proud. Okay, fine. The penis cake was hilarious. I actually left. I thought it was funny. Salvia, what's salvia like? It's legal and it's delicious. It's delicious. It's delicious. So people were tweeting you, Miley. They said...
Just because you posted this picture, they said, so you are no longer a Christian. Forget Jesus. Seriously, what has happened to you out there in the famous world? One guy even told you to go to hell. Jesus is my boy, okay? He's your homeboy. First of all, Jesus is my homeboy. You have a shirt on right now that says, my boss is a Jewish carpenter. I do not. I have a shirt on that says, Jesus is my homeboy. Okay, Jesus is my homeboy. And then I cut a V so you can see more of my cleavage. You have a WWJD. bracelet on. I have a WWMCD. What would Mila Cyrus do? Oh, wow. Look at you. Hilarious. Well, I know you were very upset. It says in the article that you actually had bad dreams all night Tuesday. Was it about all this fallout? I got all these threats. People said they were going to cut my hair off. They were going to make me wear more clothes. They said they were going to stop buying my records. I think they already did that. Someone said I gave them an achy, breaking heart, which was clever because they were talking about my dad's on. But it was horrible. All I would say is that the guy, the scientist, he was beautiful. Yeah, Krause. He was a good looking guy. I didn't even read the bottom, to be honest with you. Yeah, that's a problem. Thank you, Miley Cyrus. Who is that? Krause. It's Krause. Who in God's name is that? It's Krause over here. With the love of God, it's the scientist Krause.
I am in the stars. Who? Who is that? The stars, they are wonderful. They are the gateway to the soul. Oh, my God. Where are you from? Who the hell? I'm German. I'm a German Krauss. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Sprechen Sie Deutsch. Are you saying anything? Are you asking me questions or are you just saying stuff? I'm saying you are a very lovely girl. Oh, are you from India? No, I'm German. Alto. Are you sure? You sound like you're from Texas and also from India, and then you just sound like maybe you're from the Midwest. I travel quite often. Okay. Well, cool, man. I'm psycholic. I gotta go. Thank you so much for giving us your time today. Why am I so sweaty? Why am I so sweaty? You look crazy. Oh, my rib. Oh, my diaphragm. Oh, gosh. I hear from nowhere. I hear, hello, this is cross. You get me? Oh, my gosh. I'm so sweaty. He did a mash-up. He did an imitation mash-up. I can't handle it. Everything's in slow motion. Damn.
That made me laugh. I thought L.O.B. was going to bust a gut, dude. Oh, my ribs. Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. At the end of the show, we have open phones. 570-1949. Call us. Mike is out sick, so we are filling in and holding on the floor. And hopefully you guys have had a good time because I know that we certainly have. And this last story, Ellaby, tell me about the tie bit. What's the bit with ties? Actually, I have two little bits of information, and I don't really know if I agree with either one. First of all, 74% of workers think that ties are going to be extinct within 50 years. That's stupid, Jay. Come on. Ties are awesome. When was the last time you wore one? Probably our friend Sienna's wedding. Yeah, there's so... There's something about a man in a tie that it just is like... It's legit, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think they have to be necessary for the workforce, but don't do away with them. You don't do... A tie, a good tie, can make the whole deal. Oh, my gosh. It's so uncomfortable, you gotta be... Well, it's not comfort. Choking you. It's not comfort. It looks... It looks... Why would we not want to be comfortable?
Well, because some businesses that aren't morning radio shows, you have to go out and meet clients. You've got to look sharp. It's the weirdest thing because it really serves zero purpose. It's the only thing that guys really wear that doesn't serve a purpose. Girls wear plenty of stuff where we put ourselves in pain just for the looks. That's true. Yeah, exactly. And it serves no purpose. Thongs. Well, yeah. Well, those do serve a purpose because then you don't have the lines. You know what I mean? But a tie is really just because it looks good. I love a good thong. I do. All right. I've seen you in one now. The other thing I don't agree with. Did you just say you've seen mine? No, he's seen me in one. Oh, okay. And that is a true statement. Oh, my gosh. All right. The other thing is that women in a study, some sort of universal study, quote unquote. Right. Women do not find beards attractive. The bearded man. Yeah, which I actually disagree with. I actually request that my fiance keep some like a six o'clock, five o'clock shadow, whatever they call it. Yeah, five o'clock shadow. That's all right. Five o'clock shadow. Our good friend Hillary just joined us. Hi, darling. Hi, guys. What do you think about beards? Do you like beards on them? Yeah. I'm in. A little facial hair? Yeah. I started watching that show, The Voice.
And Adam Levine is on there. And I didn't think like twice. I'm like, oh, gosh, she's so like feminine or whatever. The other day he had a beard on, and I was like, oh, man. He had a beard on. He had a beard on. He put his beard on. What was his name? Seriously, beard on one leg at a time like everybody else. Let's go get our beard on after this. Yeah, get my beard on. Brian Seacrest. Brian Seacrest as Jay calls him. Hi, Hill. Hi, guys. How you doing? So good to see you. Good to see you. We missed you. You're doing great. I know. What's going on with you? After we're off the air at 9, Hillary rolls. We have a new schedule. I hope you all understand how I've sacrificed my morning schedule to bring the hits. I know. That's right. No, it's awesome. Every day now I've come in right around now and I raid the CD collection and go through all the new MP3s and pick out good stuff to play. And then at 9 a.m. when you guys are done, I play 94 minutes. It's like over an hour and a half of solid music. No commercials. I have a question for you. Yes, go ahead. What do you do in that 94 minutes? Do you nap?
I do not. I go online. I read the news. I check out all the music news. I get on Twitter. I get on Facebook. Of another question. Yes. Are you bored? Never. Never. Not really. You can run to the gym and come back. I could. Put it in auto. She intros a song. She does intro songs. I do. I pop on every once in a while. And our friends at Think Blue San Diego region, we've got to give them a lot of love because they're supporting it. That's so awesome. So cool. It's so cool. I like it because if we're in here doing work, instead of listening to commercials, we get to listen to 94. Yeah. Exactly. 94 minutes. 94 minutes. Right. And it's kind of so that people who are working can turn us on when we get to work or whatever and just leave it. Yeah, you know, and we've all been cool with the new schedule because we get off early. Oh, we got some callers calling in to say hello. Somebody has a question for LOB and one Jose. What you got, my friend? No way. Jose?
Yeah, I'm here. Holy smokes. Wait, what? What? I'll tell you later. He said what I think he said. Okay. Oh, my. Maybe we don't take any more calls. God. Specifically for L.O.B., by the way. But we can't because now I've got to let the thing ramp back up. Are you kidding me? Wow. Inappropriate. Holy smokes. That's what I thought. Maybe I'll talk to him. Yeah. Maybe he calls Hillary next. Do not call Hillary next. Yeah. I'll give you a slap. You don't disrespect the girls in here. You understand? That's ridiculous. I may be showing her a lot of respect. Well, on that note, we will come back tomorrow. We will do this whole. barrel of fun again. You guys sounded great. Thanks so much. And we'll be back tomorrow. We love you. And the Mikey Show is out.