The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/06/12
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
hybrid showcatchphrase gametravel anecdotesconnect fourhot tub lockouttowel incidentfur‑covered toilet seatkim kardashian donationasteroid paint plangunshot injurywoodsyjay
Woodsy hosted the hybrid show while Mikey was out sick, joined by Jay Isbell and Lauren O’Brien. They played a boys‑vs‑girls catchphrase game, shared personal stories about hot tub mishaps, fur‑covered toilet seats, and Jay’s travels where Thai locals dominate Connect Four. The conversation veered into pop‑culture topics like Kim Kardashian’s charitable donation, a humorous asteroid‑pitching idea, and a gripping caller recount of being shot as a teenager.
What happened, in order
Hi Y'all Intro
Woodsy kicks off the hybrid show with a cheerful 'hi, y'all' and announces a boys vs girls catchphrase game.
Jay's Travels & Lady Boy Connect Four
Jay recounts his trips to Fiji, Australia and Thailand, noting that Thai locals are unbeatable at Connect Four, even against lady boys.
Hot Tub Nude Lockout
Woodsy describes sitting nude in his hot tub, getting locked out of his house without keys or clothes, and waiting for his wife to return.
Towel & Detergent Kid
After being locked out, Woodsy wanders in a towel while his neighbor's toddler plays with and eats laundry detergent, requiring a vet visit.
Fur‑Covered Toilet Seat
The crew shares memories of grandparents’ fur‑covered toilet seats, debating whether they’re cozy or disgusting.
Kim Kardashian Charity Donation
Woodsy explains that Kim Kardashian will donate double the value of her wedding gifts—about $200,000—to the Dream Foundation.
Asteroid Paint‑Deflection Plan
Jay outlines a quirky NASA‑style plan to stop an incoming asteroid by painting it with Glidden paint to alter its trajectory.
Caller Shot in the Leg
M1 Disguise from PB tells how he was shot at age 15, the bullet remains in his leg, and the shooter was a schoolmate.
People mentioned
WoodsyJay IsbellLauren O’BrienNicoleMikeyElla BMattFinnRebeccaGarrettMean GeneM1 BoostM1 JesseM1 Harold
34,974 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
My wife, this is Woodsy, by the way. Mikey is out sick. I was talking to my wife last night when I found out that we were going to be doing a hybrid show again. And I said, well, what do I say? I always sound so uncomfortable when the mics click on if I have to do it. She goes, just say hi, y'all. Sounds about sexier when she says it. It does. I said, that is a freaking great idea. So, hi, y'all. Hi, y'all. Jay's pretty good at it, too. Oh, yeah. Oh. I'm Woodsy. That is L-O-B. That is Jaybird. And screening phones is our friend, Nicole. Nicole is actually going to be filling in today. We're going to be playing a game of catchphrase. And you know what? She's already been running mouth. I found out. Wow. Already. Just running mouth. Now she can rinse the mouth. Yeah, let's hear you. No, it's not working. Oh, weird. Well, we're going to play boys against girls today. Oh. Maybe I did this. There you go. Now. Are you in there? Hey. Hey, S-talker. S-talker. No, it's not true. I'm not going to gloat until we win. Then you don't get to gloat. Jay, the gauntlet's been thrown down. Not if we win. The gauntlet's been thrown down. We have to answer the challenge. And I think that we're up to it. I said, you know, the only weak link I have on my team, Jay Isbell. Yeah. I thought he was out sick. There's only two of you, so...
That is a good point. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. Okay, like I said, Mikey is out sick today. Did you guys do anything exciting? Before we get started, actually, I want to tell you, that song, do you dig that song? I dig that song. That is a band from here in San Diego called Hit Dog Holler. I listen to this song no less than 15 times a day. No kidding. Feast, I love doing. It's so good. Very bluesy. It's so good. It's like dirty. It's like dirty southern. I love it. It takes me back to my beer drinking roots of Dallas, Texas. So anyway, Jay, what did you do yesterday? Anything exciting? I finally talked to my son who has been in London and Paris. He's in Amsterdam right now. Oh, my God. He says it's insane. What about it? All the little coffee places, which is code for coffee. It keeps you wide awake. And then he's going today, I believe he's going to Lisbon this morning. Jake tells me, he goes, hey, Finn is going to Lisbon today. And I go, ah, Spain. Spain. Just like that. And I'm serious because I forgot it was in Portugal. And I go, ah, Spain. He's going to work there for two weeks helping build a stone wall, stone fence with this farmer.
I don't know how they got the job, but... What? He wants to make a little money. He says he's been spending more money. He says that a pint cost about eight bucks, and they're going for a lot of pints. Yeah, dude, that would be... We've talked about it before like crazy on this show. LLB, you did traveling. Like, you traveled by yourself. Where'd you go? I went to... I was more in, like, the Pacific area, the Pacific Islands, and then over in Australia. I went to... to Fiji. Uh-huh. Gorgeous, I heard. Yes. Scarier than I thought. Really? When I got off the plane in Nadi, I think is how they pronounce it. It's spelled N-A-D-I. Yeah, yeah. Nadi. Yeah, exactly. And it was definitely, I was like, whoa, where is like the tropical? Which is often the case when you get to like tropical places. What did it look like? Go through the ghetto. Did it look like Akron when you landed? Like it looked like Ohio? No, it looked like a concrete jungle. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. But then we went out. I went out to some of the different islands. That was like the mainland there. Then I went to Australia where I was supposed to live for six months, but I just lived for three months. Traveled around there. And then I went to Thailand. And I traveled around Thailand by myself. Wow. Did you make out with a lady boy while you were in Thailand? I did not. I played one in Connect Four. Did you? You played?
Connect Four, the lady boy in Thailand. Oh, I played several rounds against lady boys, against bartenders. What I will say about the Thai people is they are unbeatable in Connect Four. I heard it's a huge player in Thailand, and that's not a joke. I had no idea. Connect Four, really? It was in all the little pubs that I went to. Wow. Connect Four. They can't be beaten? Schooled every time. They cannot be beaten? Cannot be beaten. I was like, really? Like, it would pretty much take them four or five tries. I don't think I've ever played Connect Four. Ever. It sucks. It's tic-tac-toe. Yeah, it's tic-tac-toe on steroids. Yeah, and they know what they're doing over there in Thailand for sure. I'll tell you, I felt more safe in Thailand than anywhere I went. That is classic. Well, Thailand is, I heard, has the most beautiful beaches. Yeah. But I also heard it can be a little sketchy. Yeah, well, it's a Buddhist culture overall. There's parts of it that are like a Muslim culture, the farther south that you go. So you think that most people are putting out the like, all right, they want to make sure that they're following the Buddhist way. I don't know. I at least felt safe because I was doing stuff that was not safe. Weird. Well, I never got the chance to travel around the world.
You know, and now when you know when you're married, you can't do it as well. You can do it if you've got the means. But, you know, I don't have the means really to get gas in the suburban, much less take ladyboy trips to Thailand. Nothing like being young and single and going on a trip like this for two months. Well, Finn's not single. He's got a girlfriend, right? He's got a girlfriend. But technically, I'm sure she's not up at this hour. I mean, he's not married. There's no ring on his finger. I was technically single when I went. Yeah, technically single. I was presented with a lot of opportunities that I did not cash in on. I'm so jealous. Jason is on his way to Portugal right now, not Spain. That's for everybody listening. For everybody listening, don't ever confuse that Lisbon is in Spain because it is in Portugal. Yes. Well, one thing you can do, I met a lot of people over there that were doing exactly what Finn was doing, doing work to continue their travels. You could do that or you could cash in your 401k like I did. Yeah, you did that. He didn't have one from working at a donut shop. Ah, okay. Well, there's the difference. There's the only difference between me and your 20-year-old son. Exactly.
Exactly. Well, Jay, so you talked to him. He's doing good. He's going to build a fence. Yep. Going to build a rock wall. A couple shekels for that. Who knows? Going to see a guy about a horse. Going to see a man about a horse. And so once he's done with the rock wall, where does he go next? You know, he had a whole, he laid it all out. He is going to Spain at some point. He's going everywhere. He's going there today. He's going. Oh, no. He's going to Portugal today. He's going to hit all 22 countries that his rail pass allows him to hit. What's a rail pass, first of all? It's like a railroad. What's a railroad? A rail pass. I don't know what a railroad or a rail pass is. I don't rail. Rail. Rail. There you go. All rail. You're an ass. You kill me, dude. You absolutely kill me. You're an ass. We are having fun, obviously, this morning. Mikey is out sick. And call us if you want to. Our number is 570-1949. Can I tell you what I spent my day doing yesterday? Yes, please. Fiance. It's really hard for me to say that phrase, by the way. Did you guys have to say that? You didn't have to say it for a very long day because you were married pretty quickly. We just snuck off. But I hate saying it. You love it. Can we come up with something else? It sounds so fancy. Fiance. It sounds so fancy and it sounds like you're... Yes. Your master. Your master. It sounds like I'm shoving it in people's faces.
My fiance. Yeah, it is a little bit. It's pretentious. I just want to say boyfriend, but then I feel like I'm going to offend him. You will, too. Yeah. There's no question. My future husband. My future husband. That's better. My sig-up. Sig-up. Can I say sig-up? No, because that insinuates boyfriend. My partner. Yeah, your partner. That insinuates your gay girlfriend. Yes. My partner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Which I'd like to say. It's actually my favorite. I'll say my boo. How about that? Your boo. My boo. Hey, boo. He has been sick for three days. He's had a fever. So yesterday on the way home from work, I went and got Gatorade. Nice beaver. He's got a fever. I know. He gets sick. Nice beaver. It's a fever. It's a fever. I got a fever. He gets sick like once a year and it gets bad. Well, I'll pull the curtain back a little bit. Ella B was, she's very concerned about her fiance, Matt. And, you know, I was thinking about it a lot yesterday because you told me that The guy's been out there busting his ass trying to get money for your wedding. I know. And he played some gig and, like, he didn't take a break for, like, three hours. He didn't take a break for three hours. He played, like, a five-hour gig. Oh, my gosh. Took one break after 45 minutes and then didn't take a break for over three hours. Right. Just jammed. Yeah. And sang. Yeah, and it was an outdoor event where people were smoking cigars and everything. Oh, no. That's never good for a singer. I think it just finally broke him down. He was working, like...
He has a regular day job that he does, and then he has 17 nights in March that he's got private gigs. Now, he's going to make some good money, but I always think about, because I always wanted to be a rock star, and then I think about waking up at 6 in the morning in Cleveland, then having to get in a car, then drive to wherever, then get on a plane, go to Chicago, land, go to a hotel, check in, unpack, go do a gig, back on the bus. Off to Milwaukee. I mean, dude, no way. He does it on a small, small scale. Because he was out in El Centro, which is about... two hours east of here. Still, it doesn't matter if you're a local musician, if you are a national, it doesn't matter if you're the Foo Fighters. Yeah. All the private jets, all the beautiful buses, it's still a huge pay to the ass to do. It's not as glamorous as it looks. And it caught up with him. So he got sick. I had to go. I got him Gatorade. I got all the ingredients for homemade soup. Oh, look at you. I know. I got kombucha. And then on the way out, I got him Starbucks. Question. Yes. You just said that you got him all the ingredients for homemade soup.
made soup. Yes. Did you make said soup? I made soup. I made chicken noodle soup from scratch. Did you give him a little snuggle snuggle? I did, which may have backfired and I may be sick now too. Don't you do it. Perfect. He had a fever, so I was putting a washcloth on his head. I was making him drink plenty of water. I gave him a massage. How'd that end? He went coughing and loogied in the bathroom. Oh. Yeah, if you must know. He's not very happy. Jake, gosh darn, dude. And then I think he pooped after that. That's awesome. That's just incredible. It was not a sexy massage. It was a, you're sick. Let me help you work through the aches and pains. I'm crying from laughing right now. Hey, give us a call, 570-1949. We are doing the hybrid show again today. We did a hybrid show a few weeks ago. It's cool. We get to still tell you about current events, what's going on with us, find out what's going on with you, and then we also play some clips of some fun times that we've had in here. What'd you do yesterday? I don't even want to tell the listeners about what a dip-ass I am. Uh-oh. You got to. All right.
So I've been trying to lose weight. I've been working out. And I'm actually. You're looking pretty good. I'm looking a little better. I'm feeling a lot better, which is the most important part. Down to two chins. Down to two chins. Thank you, Jay. I actually, and I was looking in the mirror, weird. And I noticed, I'm like, somebody's got a little definition back there on the old tricep. Wow. And I also, I calculated in, I looked at my whole month of February. And I've been working out a lot. There's only two days I did not go to the gym in February. Two days. And one day I ran stairs. The other day I ate burritos and tacos. Real good. So anyway, I go to the gym yesterday and I come home. And my bit is that I come home and I have to eat right after I work out. And then I was just kind of hanging out around the house. Then at about, I'd say at about 4 o'clock, I was like, oh, I'm getting stiff. I mean, I'm...
Getting sore. Wow. My body's getting sore. Was your wife home? Oh, my God. Or were you just washing stuff? I'm getting sore. So we have a hot tub at our house. Yes. It was there when we moved in. We're just renting. I'm not trying to big time anybody. The hot tub's back there. So I go sit in the hot tub. Now, I sit in the hot tub nude. So. Yes, I do. Yes. The other day when you called me. Yes. And you said, I got to go. I'm jumping in the hot tub and I can hear bubbles. It meant your wiener was dangling. No way. Yes. While we were on the phone. That's crazy. Yes. What? So what I do is there's a lot of trees blocking me from my neighbors. So I'm freaking. I walk out and I'm nude and I have a towel. You know, I have a towel on. I always do the quick look around. Yeah. How courteous of you. I get in the hot tub, and I'm like, and I lean back, and I am feeling so good. And I don't sit in there. I sit there for about 10 minutes. Well, I get out and realize that I've locked myself out of the house. Oh. We have the doors where if the handle's locked, it opens from the inside, doesn't open from the outside. I don't have a cell phone. I don't have any underwear. Nothing. I have nothing. I had to wait for my wife to get home.
What time did you get home? 5.30. So what time was that you went out? About four. An hour and a half. Did you sit in a hot tub the whole time? I rotated. I walked around. Now listen, I couldn't go to a neighbor because I don't have any clothes. I mean, I guess I could have walked over and be like, because I know my neighbor, but I wasn't about to walk over and be like, hey, dude, you call my wife. You could have been arrested. Yeah, I could have been arrested. I walked around in a freaking towel. for about an hour and a half. And then, you know, listen, you get wet, you get out, you get a little chilly, so you get back in the hot tub. You can't sit in there long, though, because it's hot. I was like, you're such an idiot. You're such an idiot. So now I will always bring my keys and a cell phone outside, just in case. Hide a key. Hide a key. I'm surprised, because you have seven dogs at home, that they didn't all just make some sort of totem pole and figure out how to unlock the door for you. Or Lucky could have just reached up. I wish they were that smart. I wish they were that smart. But they were all looking at me, and that was the heart-wrenching part. It was like looking at your kids through a fence, and you're like, I'm here, I'm here, and you couldn't get to them. Oh, my gosh. How many times did they go to the bathroom?
There was some accidents in the house because they were freaking out because I couldn't get in and I jimmied every window, every door, every, you know, I thought of everything. Nothing. And I'm in a towel and I have no boxers, no swimsuit, no nothing. Perfect. It could be worse. It could be that you are 12 years old and you're watching your neighbor's kid who is two and a half who locks you out of the house and then starts playing with laundry detergent. Could be that. Wow. Is that a true story? That is a true story. From you? From me. Yes. What happened? He was okay eventually. His mom came home. After he vomited up all the detergent that he ate. He was just playing with it. He was a very mischievous little boy. And he was just playing with it. And he kept bringing stuff over to the door. And he finally brought over a laundry detergent. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Just watching him. But he did not. He was just playing with. Luckily, it was just like a box that was in storage that had not been open. But he was playing with like the little part where it opens. Oh, my God. Well, our babysitter locked herself in our bathroom.
And the doorknob came off in her hand. And the part that you need fell outside. So Maddie, she was young, young, young. I mean, like barely walking young. And she went and pushed her thing over the counter, got up on the counter, got the phone, came and put it underneath the door where the person could write 911. Or the babysitter did 911. The fire department shows up. It has to come through a window that is this big because there's no way to get in the house otherwise. It's like what? A foot wide? It was small. They had to have a skinny fireman to get through that window. I would have never made it. You would have been lodged in the window. I would have lodged. They had the one skinny guy I guess they throw through the window. And he just went in and he put his little screwdriver in and went click. Nope. Let her out. Holy. You're freaking doorknob. Maybe if you didn't install your own doors and doorknobs in your house and you just roll with what they give you. It was like the gym. Oh, yeah. The see-through clear. The see-through clear that had the screw that never stays on. That always jiggles. It always jiggles. Yeah. You always feel like you're on the verge of snapping it off. Yes. And then one time it just falls off. And oh, also when you turn it, it just turns. Yeah. It doesn't catch. It doesn't do what you want it to do ever. And you're like.
Hey, Nanny, this door won't open to the bathroom. She's like, hold on, Sonny. None of the doors in that house actually lock. It just gets wedged shut. Yeah, exactly. You can hold your foot against it when you're going to the bathroom. I forgot about the gem doorknob. Oh, dude, those things. Some of the houses too, it just gets warped. Like the wood is warped. So the door doesn't even really fit anymore. It doesn't fit. You're like, perfect. Speaking of grandmothers and things that they had in their house, like the gem doorknob, do you know that my grandmother had a fur-covered toilet seat? Oh yeah, my mom too. You guys had that? My parents had it up until like probably 15 years ago. A purple fur-covered toilet seat. I'll tell you what, look. It felt... It feels real good. But it's disgusting. But it's disgusting. Because you know people are doing things on that seat that they shouldn't be doing. Of course. Well, we are still taking your calls. Give us a call, 5701-949, if you want to say hello. We're doing a hybrid show today.
I'm Woodsy. That's L.O.B. That's Jay. That's Nicole in there screening phones. Very lovely. She's waiting for your call. Waiting for your call. And when you hear me introduce the show, that just means I'm nervous and I don't really know what to do. So I'll do that. You'll hear it quite often. Yeah, you'll hear it quite often. That's L.O.B. That's Jay. That's Nicole. I'm with you. This is a story that we wanted to talk about. We have. We have filleted Kim Kardashian on the show for a multitude of reasons. Look. Rightfully so. She doesn't contribute anything to society. She's not what you would, I guess, consider talented unless your talent is making sex on tape. Then she's very, very talented. Well, they do have looks competitions. Yes. If there's a looks competition, she's in it. She's a beautiful girl. Or a big butt competition because that thing. She's got a booty on code. I actually was in a big butt competition. I was a runner up. What's a big butt? It is a big bunt. I hope I can get it by. I was really hoping to get that. It's kind of a combo. Well, this was actually a pretty cool story with Kim Kardashian. She will donate double the value of her wedding gifts to charity, which I thought was really cool because if you didn't know the story about Kim Kardashian, she gets married to this NBA basketball player, Chris Humphries, and basically the marriage lasted, I think, 72 days. They called it quits.
The wedding was, I think, what, $10 million, maybe more? Maybe even more than that. Maybe more than that. And she has estimated the total cash value of all the gifts to be at about $100,000. And what she's going to do, she's going to give twice that amount to the Dream Foundation. I don't know what the Dream Foundation is. But it's a foundation. Dream Foundation is actually, it goes back to our stores, Dash. Oh, it goes to your stores. Yeah, it's a foundation to get little girls to shop in our stores and to buy our brand names and to want to be representing everything that is Kardashian. How is that charitable? It's charitable to us. So you're giving charity to yourself. Yeah. I believe that. Wow. Why did she just give the presents back to the people who gave them to her? Because I think it's a huge pain. But you can ask Kim Kardashian for that question, Jay. Here's the thing. I had already opened them and put them in places that just made everything super cute in my house. I don't believe that. I believe they sat unopened in a room. No, it looked super cute. Super cute? I wasn't about to disrupt the feng shui. Oh, wow. Feng shui? Feng shui. I had already developed that feng shui.
Feng Shui. Feng Shui. I'm part Armenian. That's a true statement. So Kim Kardashian cutting a $200,000 check, which is pretty cool. I don't know what the Dream Foundation is. It's not really part of... It's not whatever Kim just said. Kim's a liar. We've got to take a break. When we come back, we will reset and get some stuff going. It's the Mikey Show. Mikey's out today. This is the hybrid show today. Give us a call. We love you. We'll be right back. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is how most people go to school. But if this were a class at Colorado Technical University, you wouldn't find yourself trapped in some lecture. Because at CTU, I don't do classes. I control a multimedia online dashboard that gives me total control. So I can rewind this class. I'd like to start today's class by turning... Pause it. Or go back to last week's class to refresh my memory. Please examine the tables. Oh, and one other difference. This guy... Brewster hypothesis from... Would be more like this. Listen, I'd like to tell you guys a lesson I learned the hard way in my first year in management. So pay attention to this and you'll save yourself a lot of headaches. Because at CTU, most instructors have actual work experience in the fields they teach. Sound good to you? Then check it out for yourself.
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Every time. Every time we're doing a hybrid show. This chair reps off on you real good. I should get one of those then. Hey, on the line is, first of all, let me settle. I'm way. Settle down. I'm way. I need you to settle down. Way ahead of myself. God, Woods. Slow it down. Slow it down. Take it back. All right, hold on. There. Okay. This is the Mikey show. Mikey is out sick. So today we are doing a hybrid show, which if you don't know what a hybrid show is, We are going to be playing some best of clips. We actually have one we're about to get into. There's so much stuff we want to talk about, but we're also trying to get our bearings a little bit in here because, you know, we still, you know, we don't really know what we're doing. Cats away. Don't we? Right. The cat's away. We're trying to get this thing going today, but on the line is one of my favorite M1s in the world, M1 Mean Gene, and he's calling from Georgia. Mean Gene, what's up, brother? Got to hit the button. Hit the button. Are you there?
I am. Can you hear everybody? I am, dude. Hey, y'all. Hey, y'all. What's up, guys? How y'all doing? Have you been... I have a legitimate question for you, M1 Mean Gene. All right. Have you dipped into the sauce already today? No, I turned it off about 3 a.m. last night. Nice. I love that, dude. What time is it over there now? It's 9 a.m. All right. All right. What's up, my brother? What were you calling to say? Well, first of all, as it just mirrors, when I think of Mikey being sick, I picture him with a thermometer in his mouth, bonded up in like a white sheet being carried off by like a stork. A stork? I don't think about the thermometer in his mouth. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. He's got to take his temperature somehow. Yeah, you got to. You got to get it in there. Yes, that is true. He's like the reluctant baby. Oh, that's a disgusting image, Jay. Gosh darn, dude. So what's up, Mean Gene? Speaking of babies with thermometers in their backside, so my girlfriend is five and a half years younger than me. Nice work. Well done. Well done. Well handled. Why speaking of? Why speaking of? Why speaking of? He's in life peace, that's for sure. Every time you guys play the nice beaver. Nice beaver. Yeah.
She always looks at me, she goes, why do they have a clip of Ted Williams saying nice beaver? Ted Williams, the golden voice radio guy? Yeah. Dude, listen, you need to sit her down and you need to school her on the fundamentals of comedy. You gotta show her the classics. The beauty that is Naked Gun. How have you not showed her that movie yet? Because we've been doing other things, like, you know, trying to make her a coat. It's on you. It's on you, dude. I blame you. It ain't on her. Hey, M1 Mean Gene, thanks for calling in, dude. We love you. It's been too long since we've talked to you, and call back any time. All right, brother. Take it real. All right, ma'am. They say take it real. Take it real. That's a new bit. Yeah, take it real. That is a new bit. Is that what the kids are saying? That's what the kids are saying. Jay, what is the first? We have some stuff that we're going to do. And then we're going to come back to you. But this is one of our favorite bits that we've ever done. It's old time radio. When we come back, we're going to tell you about the Padres. And there's some backlash about those camouflage uniforms. And we are going to talk about that. It's Super Tuesday. We're going to talk about all that. We will be back in a second. M1 Boost is on the line from Dallas. What's going on, dude? What's up with you guys? Not too much, man. What's up? Well, you know, all your talk of...
underdog and needing a grassroots movement got me a little bit worried. Are there troubled waters ahead? There's always troubled waters. You're always maneuvering through troubled waters. But you know what, man? I'll be honest with you. We need listeners. We need listeners to do their thing. You can be our bridge over troubled waters. That's right. And, you know, the deal is that we don't have The money behind us, like a company like Clear Channel that goes out there and puts up billboards all over the place. We don't do that. We don't do that. And so we rely on listeners to be able to do it. And they do. And we need it now more than ever before. Absolutely. And you know what you have here. You got your favorite radio show. A radio show, by the way, that means so much to people. that when we're not on the air or when they don't get us, they flip out. And so, you know, if it means something to you, you got to do something about it, man. Here's what you really need to do. You need to get your, if you know people that are listening to any other radio show, first of all, let them know that I'm on FM 94.9 and that the Mikey show's on FM 94.9 because part of the thing, excuse me, is that a lot of people don't know.
So they may be listening to something like their iPod or another radio show because they just don't know. They thought you were out of the business, maybe. Woods talks to people. Lauren, Jay, we all talk to people on a consistent basis that go, Mikey's still on the radio? Yeah. And, you know, so, you know, part of this is that you got to, you know, people have to know. We got to let people know. I've got another. Go ahead. I've got another question, too, for you. Maybe you can kind of help explain this to your listeners. Well, for me, I don't have a choice. I'm in Dallas, so I'm listening on my iPhone right now. But for those that are there, and we get advertising just the same as if I were listening on the radio, does it impact you guys if people across the city are listening on their phones and not specifically on the radio, and how? I can't answer that question. Like, legally can't, or you just don't know? Yep. So if I were to say, would it be a true statement for me to say that? I can't. I can neither. I can neither confirm nor deny any statement. I would just like to emphasize that we are a radio show. Yes. Yes. And that's what I will say. We are a radio show. And we broadcast live from 530 to 9 every day. We've got a tower for a reason. Yeah.
Yeah, I listen to you guys every day, and I wish, you know, if I were there, you'd definitely be on my radio. Well, it's 94.9 frequency modulation. Yeah. It's 94.9 FM. Right. And we'd love for you to listen to us that way. Can I say something, too? Kind of rabbit hole, but not really. Matt, my boyfriend, plugged in Pandora into his, he's got an auxiliary cable in his car, and he plugged it in and was listening to Pandora. I was like, oh, that sound, like the sound is muffled and it sucks. And I was like, I don't care if we listen to commercials. I want to listen to the radio. And the sound, songs, even better than your CDs. Like things just sound better coming out of the radio. Yeah, they do. The people that are engineering it know what they're doing. That's right. You ask a band, you ask if anybody's ever been in a band that's had a song played on the radio, if they'd rather click on iTunes and listen to it on their computer or if they'd rather be driving in their car. and hear their song come on the radio, that's it. It's the greatest industry. You know what I mean? It's it. It's why when you hear a song, even if you have the CD or you have it on iTunes that you've heard a thousand times, when you hear it come on the radio, you crank it up because you're like, it just sounds better. That reminds me, I was driving when the Deftones were here last year. I called in to our station here and said, hey, I'm going to see the Deftones. So Tommy was on the event and he played.
a Deftone song for me on the radio. I'm like, hell yeah! May I turn it up as loud as it can go? I've got it in my iPod right there. Hearing that on 94.9, I was like... It just sounds better. That's not just a nostalgic thing. It factually sounds better. That is a true statement. So, Boos, I love you and I love your questions that I can't answer. You would have been a good politician, pal. Yes. That's right. Yeah. Well, I think you answered him. Thank you. All right, dude. Yeah. All right. Love you guys. Love you, buddy. Love you. M1 Jesse from Oceanside. Hi. Hey, what's going on, man? I was trying to let Boost know that if you download tuning radio, you know, like the regular market on your phone. You guys come through like great and clear. Why don't you listen to us on the radio, though? It sounds better. It sounds better. Listen to us on the radio. I like the way it sounds better. It does sound better. Because I'll tell you what, hearing us on the radio is better than not hearing us at all. I'll tell you that much. True statement. Imagine if you couldn't hear the Mikey show at all. That's very true. Wouldn't that stink? I have to listen to you guys with my phone as I'm working. Right.
Why do you have to? Because I don't have a radio anywhere near me. Why don't you get one? Yeah, buy one. Because our engineers work really, really hard to make the sound. You know, it's called processing, and that's what makes my voice sound as sexy as it does. That's why I sound sexy. So much better when I hear myself coming, when we play Best Of, and I'm a narcissist and I'll listen to our show on our day off. I'm like, oh my gosh, I sound so much better than the podcast. That's right. You know, the reason is because our engineering staff works very, very hard to make sure that we're loud, sure that everything that you hear, everything is crystal clear. We want it to be. So don't even for a second. This is, uh, who's this? Hey, Harold, what's up? I say to everyone, they could just run out and buy themselves an iPod. It's got an FM tuner on it. Uh-huh. That's what I do. The Nano. Really? Uh, cool. Yeah. Right on. I have it. I think it sounds better through a speaker, though. No? Yeah, it sounds best through a speaker. There you go. There's so much technology out there. I don't really get all of it. I don't understand all of it. The Nano works on a frequency. You have to.
have it just the same as you would, you know, an antenna. A lot of Mikey Show listeners are very, you know, into the technology. I just wish Mikey Show listeners were more, you know, into our philosophy of just throwback to the old days, you know what I mean? A couple speakers. Ah, this is the Mikey Show here. Hello, see? Hello. Hear ye, hear ye. Mikey Show will now commence. Why? Why? I've been listening. Yes, yes. Hello, hello, yes. Hello, hello, yes, yes. You're listening to The Mikey Show, broadcasting live from Old St. Palomar. St. Palomar Mountain, yes. We have an old-time, old-fashioned antenna and a transmitter. Yes, come in. This is Forestry 1294-9. Frequency modulation. We're coming in now, live and clear, through the Forest of Mission Valley.
Broadcasting into the delta reaches of San Diego County. Even the rural areas where there are no developed places yet. Places like Del Mar. La Jolla. Newly incorporated areas like El Cajon. Brand new little communities popping up like Chula Vista. Imperial Beach. As you listen to us on your radio, please tune us in and listen to the wonderful sounds of my voice. And Woods' voice. The Mikey Show is brought to you by BC Headache Powder. Why? When I have a headache, I take BC. Listen, you're listening to one of the most progressive shows on the radio. Why? Because we actually have a woman working on our show. The Mikey Show is brought to you by Palmolive. Why? I wouldn't trust my hands or my dishes to anything else. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we actually have a woman here who is capable of actually giving commercials right on the radio.
Go ahead, dear. Toots, say it one more time. The Mikey Show is brought to you by Palmolive. Can I do that again, sir? It's all right. She's a woman, ladies and gentlemen. You must forgive the fact. Go ahead, dear. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Go ahead. The Mikey Show is brought to you by Palmolive. It's all right, dear. Don't worry about it. Listen, if you're listening out there in radio land. I'm so used to practicing in my kitchen. I know it. Dear, you have wonderful jugs. Thank you. Listen. Ladies and gentlemen, listening in automobiles or driving around in your cars or whatever you're doing, understand she's just a woman. You mustn't get upset with her because she's trying. I appreciate your understanding, sir. One more time, dish. The Mikey Show is brought to you by Palmolive. Why, Palmolive, I wouldn't trust my hands or my dishes to anything else. That little baby maker over there is capable of giving those commercials once per hour.
Thank you so much. Yes, I'm pregnant and barefoot as we speak. Can you get me a scotch, my dear? Absolutely. I'll take two. My pleasure. Genius. That's really old-time radio. That is old-time radio. 570-1949. M1 Drew's on the line from La Mesa. Hi, Drew. Hey, guys. How you all doing? Good. I use palm oils, by the way. Who doesn't? Soft on the hands. Why? Go ahead, dude. Yeah, I was just calling to say, you know, I've always had you on the radio, Mikey, ever since you took over Howard Stern Spy here in San Diego over in Clear Channel. Right on. And I usually, I work at a retail store that's not going to be named, and I work a lot of morning shifts. And what I usually used to do was in the electronics section was... puts you on every single one. Wow. That is cool. Love it. And there was one overnight shift that I did, and I brought my portable DVD player with me when you guys did the Titanic, the 28 hours. That's the best. Yeah. And had that thing playing while watching the movie. How great was that? Oh, it was hilarious. I think I spent almost all three hours watching the movie while...
trying to clean up the department. Sometimes it's wonderful to revisit the old times looking into the old Titanic's grand ballroom, the parlor, as they called it. Tell us about it, Rose. Oh, it was gorgeous. It was the first time the mirror had been invented. So it was the first time you ever saw yourself. It's the first time I ever saw my reflection in a mirror. Before you go on, Would you take that ivory comb out of your hair and just let your hair down? Well, if I do. Just keep it up. It's more formal. If I do let it out, you must know my long, gray, silky hair will fall like ribbons. No, not why. Fall like ribbons of clouds across my naked breasts. Ample bosom. You asked for it. Please don't. I changed my mind. I changed my mind. There you go, dear. I changed my mind. There they are. Oh, God. I changed my mind. I changed my mind. You know, I've always been a flapper. Yeah, clearly. I can see that. Oh, my God. They're tucked in your waistband. Oh, my God. Not so strange.
First time I saw myself on television, I looked straight into that television and said, why, that's the most curious mirror. Thank you, Drew, for your support. Love you very much. Lucky man. You're a wonderful darling. Oh, boy. I love old-time radio. Yeah. We let our hair down. We let our long, silky, wiry gray hair, much like Jay's undercarriage. I haven't said the word of the day today. I will tell you now that the word of the day today is dice. What are people winning for the word of the day? It is a four-pack of tickets to the NASCAR Nationalwide. Series Royal Purple 400. Plus, you're entered into the grand prize drawing of a pair of tickets to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at the Auto Club 400. It includes parking. What is a Sprint Cup? First of all, Sprint. Sprint. Sprint? I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him all day. I'm going to stab you. I'm going to get you all day long. What do you guys want to talk about? I think that we need to talk about the phenomenon that is known as Super Tuesday, which, of course, is...
when it's just great. It's super. That's right. That's what that means, right? It's about superheroes. It's about being super in life. Are you buying time? Because you don't know what super-sized is. Look, super-sized drinks, super-sized meals. What's a meal? What is a super-sized meal? Like a paper meal? Not a meal. Oh. A meal. Can we isolate that clip and save it where he says... Now I see the distinction. Where he says... Not a mil. A mil. Yeah. Right. Super Tuesday is something political. I'm 36 years old and I'm not really embarrassed to tell you that I really I don't really understand the point of it. I know there's some elections and things like that. I'm going to let our resident brainiac L.O.B. tell us. Just fill me in. Yeah, I'll tell you just in a nutshell. No, I don't know a ton about. But I'll tell you my explanation of what Super Tuesday is. So basically, you have 10 states today that are holding these primary elections. California is not one of them. You guys interested in what states? Sure. Yeah, fire away. Ohio, Georgia, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia, Oklahoma, Idaho, North Dakota. What's North Dakota?
I was more interested in you, the hoe. I just got so excited to say your favorite state was Alaska. Alaska. North Dakota. So anyway, there's 10 states today, and they're going to hold these primary elections. Now, that doesn't do anything official, but this is basically how you want to secure your nomination. So this is for the Republican Party, since Barack Obama is obviously going to be the Democratic candidate. So the frontrunners, I guess you're looking at Mitt Romney. You're looking at Rick Santorum. You're looking at Newt Gingrich, although I think he's fallen pretty far behind. But Mr. Romney is unfortunately the front runner. Unless you're a Republican. Unless you're a Republican. He scares me a lot. Yes, unless you're a Republican. But unfortunately, from my perspective. Now, there's a lot of controversy going on and a lot of talk. for Mitt Romney because of his health care plan that he put into place in Massachusetts. They're saying it's not very conservative. In fact, it looks a lot like Obamacare. And he's saying, no, no, no, no. That wasn't meant for the federal level. Excuse me?
That was only meant for Massachusetts. And he's saying his, what he's calling his Romney care, since everyone has to put their last name in front of the word care. Mine would be Woods care. Yours would be O'Brien care. And Jay's would be Isbell care, which has a nice ring to it. He's saying his doesn't drastically cut Medicare, raise taxes, or did I say taxes? Yeah, taxes. Yes. Or it doesn't make religious institutions. have to follow policies in health care that go against their moral beliefs, which obviously that whole birth control thing we've been talking about in the Catholic Church. But how interesting that everybody is focused on a USA Today article. It's an opinion piece from Mitt R. Romney, where he talks about, he says, hey, Obama, the nation could learn a thing or two from Romney care. And how to implement. So the conservatives that obviously are, you know, they want to support him are like, well, wait a minute. That plan that you have in Massachusetts was not very conservative. So how do we know that when you get in office? Do politicians ever talk out of both sides of their mouth so that they can get elected? They amazingly have six sides of their mouth. That's a true statement. Which they usually, yeah.
Oh, we got to go to break, but it's the hybrid show today. Mikey is out sick. Yeah, very smooth transition. You'll be hearing a lot of smooth transitions today. And when we come back, I've got two sports stories for you that we have to talk about. One is concerning the Padres uniforms and what this giant douchebag said about them. We'll be back. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot them at. Text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Woodsy. And L.O.B. We're very excited. You know, it's been for me, gosh, has it been almost two years? July will be two years for me. It'll be two years for you, yeah. Since I had LASIK surgery, L.O.B., when did you get yours done? In August, so I'll be coming up on a year, not really soon. It's been freaking, freaking phenomenal. We've had such a different, it's a different life. You wake up.
My eyes are always focused. I can see perfectly. I've got 2015 vision, which is better than perfect, which is J. We call it J. If you're better than perfect. It's better than J. I watched a documentary on the Marines yesterday, and they have to wear those glasses that are mandated, and they're going through these obstacle courses, and they were getting water sloshed all over their glasses, and I thought, gosh. What a pain in the butt that used to be to deal with those. I can't believe if I were in the Marine Corps today, I wouldn't have to worry about that. Which you almost were, but we'll tell that story another time. G.I. Jane. Yeah, we both got our eyes done at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff are absolutely phenomenal at what they do. Give them a call today, 858-452-3937, or you can go online to clearvieweyes.com. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, affordability, technology, and experience. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never-frozen North American beef? Fresh-cooked applewood-smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. The pure and simple kick of cool, all-natural? Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes. That's Wendy's way, and participating Wendy's for a limited time.
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Back to programming in a minute, but first, listen to this. Seems the New York Mint is releasing to the public classic U.S. gold coins. There's a number you can call for free historical information and a free DVD. But first, it says that during the Great Depression, people were clamoring for gold coins because no one wanted to face economic turbulence without the security of gold. The government finally took them out of circulation, and a government meltdown was ordered. That's why most of us have never even seen a classic U.S. gold coin. But recently a stash was discovered in Europe, gleaming U.S. gold coins minted between 1866 and 1933, all uncirculated. It says the New York Mint is releasing them to the public on a first-come, first-served basis when you call. Here it is, 1-800-900-9517. Wouldn't that be amazing to hold U.S. history? Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-900-9517. 1-800-900-9517. Over the years, there have been some things in your life that were simply phases, trends, and passing fancies, like your leather pants phase, or your passion for hacky sack, or your crazy sweater collection. But there are other things in life that are really worth keeping up, like saving for your retirement. So when you're ready to start something great that you can really stick with,
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Toyota's got everything you need to help keep your Toyota running like a Toyota. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealer today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Nuclear science is not my passion. Woods. You can take a turd and rub it in wasabi and soy sauce. Tastes like sushi. Lauren. It's not called love making playlist, but it is my love making playlist. And Jay. Yesterday we were out skateboarding. And I'm thinking, I'm almost 50 and I'm skateboarding. That's great. I'm going to break a hip. On FM 94.9. About something. Freaking Padres, okay, look, they've been picked by most of the national media to finish dead last in the major leagues. Wow. Okay. Which, first of all, that ain't good. But you can have an opinion on where a team's going to finish or whatever. That's fine. That's your job to have an opinion and to analyze what's on the field.
When you start criticizing the camouflage uniforms that the Padres wear in honor, yeah, in honor of our military servicemen and women, you can get. Yeah. Okay? And what is get? You can get. Just don't talk about the camouflage jerseys, man. So there is a guy. His name is Jim Capel, and he works for ESPN.com. And, dude, he has made. the people of San Diego, and the Padres fans, and, you know, people like me, look, I'm a Yankee fan. I'm not going to deny it. I love the New York Yankees. But, dude, when I moved here, I started watching Padre games every night. I started listening to them when I couldn't watch them. I was going to a bunch of games. I met a couple players. We interviewed a couple players. And, dude, I'm all the way in on that team. I'm all the way in on them putting a good product in the field. I took to my soapbox. when they were having a good season two years ago and fans weren't going out and supporting them. And look, this is a case where the people of San Diego have spoken to this guy, Jim Cable. He says, quote, say this for the Padres, they're dependable. You can pick almost any time in their history and their uniform would be among the game's ugliest. Are the Padres honoring the military or playing paintball?
I'm sorry, but I don't think it makes me a member of the Taliban to point out you can salute our servicemen without wearing an ugly jersey. Well, let me tell you this, Jim Cable, that three days before your article came out, 11,000 Little League players in San Diego County began wearing jerseys that represented 20 styles of Padre uniforms. Guess what the most popular one was among the kids? The freaking camouflage Marine jersey. Badass. And you know what? There was a Marine that wrote in. USMCGunner55 said, For many people we have helped in this world, that desert camouflage pattern is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. They even run to it when they see it. It's pretty amazing. If you want, you can hook up with a USO tour. Go see it for yourself. Go Padres. Well done. Well done. There's a couple of things that maybe you always want to keep your opinion to yourself about. And I think honoring the military, if you're not in on it. If you're entitled to feel that way, maybe you don't say it. Yeah. You know, you're free to think it. If you're a writer for ESPN.com, maybe you don't say it. Thank you very much. And I am off of my soapbox. I watched a documentary on the Marines yesterday. So weird that you watched the documentary. I know. The few, the proud, and there's a reason for that. I watched.
Obviously, you don't get to see everything. Some of the training and stuff that they go through. Oh, it's ridiculous. Those guys want to, for no other reason are they there than they want to defend their country. And we should all be as proud of them as they are of themselves. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I couldn't either. You know, I went and I was kind of a wayward soul when I was a kid and, you know, still have wayward soul moments. But when I. I'd just gotten in some trouble, you know, gotten in a little trouble. I was like, dude, I need to straighten up. And I went to try to enlist in the Navy. Yeah. Why? Because I wanted to be a Navy guy. My grandfather was a Navy guy. You know, I was like, oh. The kid doesn't like to be told what to do, though. That's the thing. But I'll tell you what the kid is. The kid's a big team player. I am a big team player. I'm all the way in on everybody doing something for the team. I think if I could have made it past basic training, I'd probably be a naval officer right now because I'm all the way in on, and I love helping people and all that stuff, but that basic training would have been tough for me. They showed a glimpse of Parris Island when the minute those guys step off the bus, you are no longer Stephen R. Woods.
You are a cadet, or whatever the word is. I think it's maggot. I think it's all kinds of stuff. Yeah, but you are now a member of a group. Huge sacrifices. It is not an individual anymore. That's badass. We want to play some catchphrase today, and what we're going to do is we're going to do the battle of the sexes, you know, the dongs against the Vs. No, you can't. No. No? Just guys versus girls. I'm sorry. Guys versus girls. Isn't that a fair? Aren't we just going to spank them? Well, and we may beat them. Okay, good. And we may win the game. I'm just hoping for the spanking. What is a fair? Oh, you're dead. You're dead. On the line, we've got M1 Brett. We need another caller. So M1 Brett, who would you like, my friend? Boys. That a boy. You are such a sexist. Oh, wow. Hold the phone. We got to get a girl for the girls, right? No. We don't got to. We got one. Look, M1 Rebecca. Is she on there from Kearney Mesa? Let us have her. Let us have her, Nicole. We want her. And put her on hold. Nicole's very thorough. She's very thorough. Our phone screener Nicole is very thorough. I'm making her blood. Give us a hold. Yeah, put her on hold. Oh, she got her. She dumped her. She dumped her. I didn't dump her. Jay. Wasn't me. We're going to play catchphrase. Why do you hate girls, Jay? I love girls.
Team boy against team girl. Jay, we got to show these girls. I can't believe you guys are going to get beat like a bunch of little girls. You have no idea how bad you're about to get smoked, and I'm going to start today. And we're playing for, let's see, we're playing for, we're going to play for a, let's see, a pair of tickets to see the Ting Tings at the House of Blues in San Diego, March 23rd. Excellent. Sweet. Jay, check M1ZZ from Mira Mesa. M1 Double Z. Here we go. Yeah, here we go. M1 Double Z, are you there? Good morning, guys. All right, good morning to you. You get the girl team. Yeah, what bra size is that? Double Zs. Those are big. Those are big. Those are real. It doesn't have to do with their bra size. Real big. Hold the phone, Double Z. Uh-huh. Oh, boy. Already made her mad. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, here we go. Nicole, you tell all those callers to get in here. We're going to play us some catchphrase. Here we go. The way, I mean, it's catchphrase. You don't have to really explain it and set it up. Jay's got an open for it somewhere. Look, we're a little frazzled. Leave us alone. Don't stop screaming at us. Why are they screaming at us? Come on. I'm working on it. Jay! Just let him sink. Just sit here and stare at him. I'll play something else.
If you do that, I will play anything I find. Come on! There we go! Oh, I love this game. It's already heated. I'm already getting stared down from our 22-year-old phone screener, Nicole. She's staring me down. She's trying to get my head. Jay, are you ready? I don't feel ready. You guys ready? We're going to start. The boys are going to start. We are team one. You're team one. Guys are team one. All right. As usual. Here we go. Sports and games. Sports and games. Who am I playing with? Entertainment. Entertainment. You ready, Jay? I'm ready. Oh, gosh. The redhead girl from Sex and the City. Short hair. Carolyn. Red hair. No.
Last name was a president. I am not a crook. Nixon. Right. Cynthia Nixon. Yes. All right. Weird that you know that. Okay. This guy, he's an African-American with a glass eye. He was in the King's Speech, I believe. I don't know. His first name is like a bunch of trees. What are in a bunch of trees? I'm going to go, oh, in Sherwood. Oh. Okay, his first name is like a group of trees. Like, not the woods, but the... Forest? Yes. Oh, um... Forest Whitaker. Oh, no! Oh, she's top model. America's Next Top Model. She's the host. Tyra Banks! Yes! Take that. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it, Lou. Cheaters. That's one. That's one. That's one. That's one. Take it. Take it. Take it. Jay knows the host of America's Next Top Model. Was Farce Whitaker in A King's Speech? No. Okay. No, he's not in A King's Speech. He's in Last King of Scotland. Last King of Scotland. But even though you said The King's Speech, that's what I thought. Brilliant. Yeah. All right. Ready? I was thinking Sammy Davis Jr. Oh, wow.
Are you ready? What's the category? What is the category? It's team one and we are still going to stay in entertainment. Come on! Are you ready? Oh, God! They give these awards to television. Oh, not the Grammys, but the... No, it's television. Television. Welcome to the Grammys. No, the other one. The Oscars. The other one. The whoops. Anti-M. M. Yes, the awards that start with those two letters. Anti-M. Oh, my God. A-M-T. Anti-Wards. No. A-M-C. Oh, my God. You said it. Emmys. Emmys. Emmys. Emmys. Okay, so me. That's the right word. The next word is when I. Give you the... Emmy? No. Oh, come on. If there's four of us, we are the team. Foursome. Oh, my God. Four team. Emmy. If there's four of us... Yes. A group. She may win. She may win. She may win. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards. Emmy Awards
Did you give... It's your knee. Yes, because you would have gotten that. And my knee! And my knee! All right. Did you give us a point? Yes. What's up with that rattling noise? Oh, I was screaming into the mic. Oh, okay. All right. Are we ready? The category is... Come on, pick something I can roll with. Let's see. Food. Okay. I would like to do that. That was kind of insulting. I could do that. She said, pick something I can roll with, and you go, food. Everyone knows food. Who doesn't eat? I'm trying to psych you out. Ready? It worked. Okay, this is a kind of steak. It's so fancy, and it's two words. It's so fancy. Filet mignon? Yes. Woo! First try. Oh, when I'm sick and this is the type of stuff I eat. Chicken soup! No, it's like that, but it's like a group. This is a group that makes you feel better. It's like, oh, I'm so sad that I need a type of... Oh, this chair is very comfortable.
Comfort foods. I can't see. Oh, okay. You use these to feed a certain type of animal that fly in the sky. Bird seed. Okay, that's the food. First word. So what do you put the bird seed into? A bird feeder. Come on, come on, come on. Okay. Oh, boy. This is. You got to go, go, go, go. It's lettuce. Lettuce. Salad. Yeah. Salad. And it's an old joke, Chris. Toss your salad. It's like that. Salad, toss. Reverse it. Toss salad. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. You guys and your stupid bitch. I'm cheating. Yes, you do. Tossed salad. All right, it's two to one, guys. Tossed salad. Pretending like you don't know. I didn't know. Okay, we're going to go. Oh, it's a salad toss. Sci-tech. Here we go, Sci-tech. Oh, whenever I'm done at my computer, I do this so that nobody else can access. Log off. Yes. Okay.
When you go to the hospital, sometimes people have to get this type of transfusion. Blood. So they have to get your... Blood type. Yes. She's good. She's really good. She's very thorough. She's very thorough. This is a type of car at blank and beyond. Infinity. Oh, gosh. You put this on if you want to stop smoking. Nicotine patch. Yes. Oh, I can't breathe very well. It's called, it's like a type of... Heart attack! No, no, it's like I can't breathe. Chest cold. No, it's like little kids have it and they have an inhaler. Oh, asshole! Oh, I don't know this. Okay, sometimes you want to block this because it comes into your email. Spam. Okay, so that's... Spam an egg. You're not for spam, you're anti-spam. Yep. Who's for spam? They don't make these anymore. It used to leave a voice... Answer machine! Dang it, dang it. It stopped. What'd you press? Redo it. Redo. Just redo it. Oh, come on. I think you might have hit stop. I didn't touch it. L-O-B, you hit stop. I didn't touch it. L-O-B, you hit stop. You stopped it. My hands were here. You stopped it. You stopped it. You did it. Hey, no point awarded, but you get to start. My hands were right here. Okay. There's Mikey here. We're starting over. Okay. Here is this, oh gosh, this glass place where you keep plants and the sun comes in. Greenhouse. Yes.
And then the next word is you would get this at the pump. You can get like... Greenhouse gas. Yes, but the plural of that. Greenhouse gases. Yes. Oh, Google is a type of... A search engine. Web browser. Yes. Oh, okay. It's a type of something in your car. Engine. Okay, what type of engine? Manual engine. A type of gas engine. Again. Octane. Engine. Unleaded. I think maybe use it with a motorcycle. I'm not sure. V6. V horsepower. Time of gas. It's expensive. Diesel. Yes. Diesel engine. It stopped again. I heard a beep. I heard a beep. I heard a beep. All right. Oh, my gosh. Did he get a point? Is that a point for us? So what's the score? I think it's two to two. It's two to two. Okay, now they start. So now you start. All right, here we go. We're changing the category to entertainment, and we begin. Woo! Oh, Big Lips married to, or whatever, to Brad Pitt. Oh, Angelina Jolie. Yes. 500. Oh, a stepbrother. He's a... John Riley. No, the other guy. Oh, Will Ferrell. Yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. He's on the wall right there. Lionel Richie. Woo! Woo!
Take it, take it, take it. Sings, wait till I get my money right. George Bush doesn't care about black people, he said. Oh, Kanye West. Oh, my gosh. Come on, come on. This is a book. Oh, boy. Yes. The second part of it sounds like, ow, the animal that makes that noise. Wolf? Wolfpack? No, it's one word. Virginia Woolf. No, it's one word and gosh, I don't know anything more about this. Pick something else. Come in. Gosh. There's no way to describe this. There is. Except for that. Come on. Yeah. That's too bad. Beowulf. Oh, yeah. I would have never guessed that. All right. Team one gets a point. Here we go. Here we go. If you guys get this, you win. But we're going to keep it alive. It's three to two. Guys. Here we go. Here we go. Keep it rolling. Category. Category. Category is going to be everything. Oh, God. Everything. Here we go. Here we go. Staying alive. Here we go. Get him, Jay. Show him who's boss. Oh, Mikey is overweight, and it's another... Damn it. Fat. No, another word for that. Another word for that. Chubby. No, another word for that. No, no. Keep going. Keep going. It's like... Chunky. Say something else!
He's, oh, I can't. And there's like, kids, it's like a, it's like. How many words? It's one word. Fat, chunky, portly. It's like, it's like a. Obese. Yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, I don't know how to explain this. Welcome. Okay, sometimes you'll have a balcony that's like a. A terrace. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Money. If I do, if I do this of Ronald Reagan, or L.O.B. does a lot of these. Impersonations. Also another word for that. Personation. No, dude. Hey, look at me. I'm Mikey. This is how I walk. I'm doing a... Imitation. Imitation. Damn it. Yeah, okay. I could have gotten that one. We're still alive. It's time. It's 3-3. Next point wins. This is it for all the marbles. Come on, dude. I'm going to go back to, I think, something Nicole and I both know, which is enter. You guys should kiss. I can do that. All right, here we go. Yeah, right. Oh, gosh. This is a soup label, the red and white soup. Campbell's. And then a color of the UPS guy. Campbell Brown? Yes. Oh, wow. You monsters. Oh, no. It's like a bird. Come on, hurry up. A crow. No, I'm not a crow. A raven. I'm not an eagle. A pigeon? I'm a hawk. Yes, and then it's an after name. Hawkeye. Eat it all. Yes. Oh, uh.
Willow is his daughter. Will Smith. Go, go, go, go, go. She was married to Ethan Hawke. She was in Pulp Fiction. Did the cocaine in her nose start bleeding? I know her name. Come on. Help me, help me. That's it. She was married to Ethan Hawke. She's pretty hot. Kill Bill. I'm a servant. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. You're a faker, Dave. You're a faker. You're a faker. It was a combination of words. That's outstanding. You're a faker. Well done, Nicole. Well done. Hey, maybe next time, kid. All right? I've got to find a way to turn this down. Brett. You're a big wiener. Hey, nice job, guys. Thanks.
That was mind melding. That was exactly what that was. Or you could call it stalling. It was no stalling. Trust me. Brad, hang on the line for us. There was no stalling. You little angel. Gosh, it feels good to be a champion today, doesn't it? Gosh, it sure does. I guess men really are better than women. Yeah, we proved it. Finally, it's been proven, ladies. It has been proven. I'd say that definitely proves it, you guys. You should be proud. I am so excited. I just can't even put an award. Thank you, Mom, for always supporting me. Thank you, Grandma. Thanks, Jay. You were a hell of a partner. Man, we had some rough spots. We got to take a break, don't we? We absolutely do. Well, when we come back, an asteroid has a chance of hitting the Earth next year. Do you want to hear how they plan on stopping it? Our man with a plan, Jay Isbell, is going to tell you how. I'm like NASA. I know exactly what's going to go on. That's true. We'll be back. 570-1949. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Motorcyclists often seem rather intimidating, rough and tumble, real bad mamma-jammers. Little do folks know they can actually be quite sensible, especially if they ensure they motorcycle with Geico along with their car. Geico's multi-policy discount could save them quite a bit of money. Did I just say bad mamma-jammers? Do you ever say something and think, I wish I'd never said that? This is one of them times.
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Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple. Though I'm not a granny or a Smith, my name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. But no, I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart. Shop at your neighborhood Albertson through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Visit the meat department because boneless, skinless chicken breasts are a low $1.99 a pound.
And pick up fresh green asparagus for just $129 a pound. And while you're filling up your cart, you can fill your prescriptions too. Because Albertsons is proud to welcome Express Scripts members at all of our Save-On pharmacies. See store for details or visit albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find these savings and more at Albertsons. Leslie French was hunkered down for a fight. I was just at the dealership looking for a car. Lured in by the enemy. No, it was pretty cordial, but I did need a car loan fast. There was no time. I called Navy Federal Credit Union. A really nice guy approved me for a loan on the spot. Great rate, too. Victory was hers. Well, uh... Convertible was mine. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never-frozen North American beef? Fresh-cooked Applewood smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese?
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for real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited, not available with some other offers, excludes leases, must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivered by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Hi, this is L.O.B. and I am sometimes a creep, but I'm going to sound real creepy because I want to tell you, Woods, you're looking good. Thank you very much. Have you ever seen more perfect hair on a man? That's what you define as the perfect haircut. Yeah, I call it a PHC, and I want to thank Ovation Cell Therapy for my PHC. It's my perfect haircut. Well, that means you and thousands of other people. I have gotten so many compliments from people that I've turned on to using Ovation. A lot of people have told me they've never been able to grow their hair past a certain point. They're like, I started using Ovation and all of a sudden I have the longest hair I've ever had in my life. Yeah, mine is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I owe it all to Ovation.
And I can never say enough, it smells delightful. So log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout and pick up your Ovation Cell Therapy System. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget to put in FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners from alignments and tires to maintenance and repairs. Toyota's got everything you need to help keep your Toyota running like a Toyota. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealer today. Well, the freeway's a little backed up here. A couple incidents. One on the 52 westbound past Mass Boulevard. We've got a car that's stalled. It's a silver pickup, I think. And some delay over here on the 5 southbound before Front Street. There's police activity. You've also got some tire tread on the 805 southbound right before the 94 west. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent will help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Gift. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. Hi, y'all.
Welcome back to the Mikey Show. That's me doing my wife, Jamie. That's my imitation of Jamie. Oh boy, you're such a creep. That's my wife you're talking about. I know. It is the Mikey Show. Mikey is out six. So today you've got the hybrid show with me. I'm Woodsy. And that's L-O-B, Lauren O'Brien. And that is Jay Isbell, our executive producer. Hola. He's 77 years old. And screening phones for us today is our little dear Nicole, 22 years old. So, L.O.B., what is going on in the news? Oh, well, we talked about this before. There was a proposal to get some pay increases for San Diego City Council members. It was actually a committee comprised of seven citizens recommending these pay increases from $75,000 to $175. That's crazy! $175,000. You got this, kid. You got it. Gosh! Jeez Louise. Take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath. Okay. Anyway, it's been rejected. They're not getting the pay increases. Weren't some of them like they were going to double their pay? They were doubling them and more than doubling them, yeah. So that's not going to happen because the median income of San Diego households is $61,118. So getting them up to that $235,000 annually, possibly, they thought, yeah.
Ridiculous. Yeah, times are tight these days, all right? Oh, my gosh. I didn't like that story. I didn't like reporting on that. But I do have a story that I know. We talked about this chicken nugget that resembled George Washington. Yes. Okay? It came out, and this woman from North Dakota put it up on eBay, and we were like, that's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Who would bid on that? Well, there was 1,610 people. I just want to clarify, again. This is a chicken nugget that resembles... Former President George Washington. That's correct. And it actually does. We could probably put a picture up. It's right next to the quarter, and it's like a side profile. It's freaking identical George Washington chicken nugget. Well, it sold for any guesses on how much it sold. $300. At the most. $55. $8,100. Some chicken wings. The lady that put it up is not revealing yet who it went to. But the good news is, now, almost 45,000 people viewed this chicken nugget. Oh, my God. But she is putting it towards a charity. It's for the Sioux City Family Workshop Center. It's a summer day camp in Dayton, Iowa.
I don't know. I guess you freeze dry it. No. You eat it. You eat it. You eat it. Yeah, you got to eat it. You got to. $8,100. You got to get it in you, dude. $8,100. I could have made them something out of Play-Doh. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'd like to see that as well. That is hysterical. I did want to let you guys know out there that people yesterday were concerned, and I got some personal emails about. Vincent Jackson and the San Diego Chargers. Woodsy, do you think they're going to keep Vincent Jackson? Vincent Jackson is their all-pro wide receiver. He has led the team in catches the last four years. I mean, the guy's a beastly dude. But it was going to cost them about $13 million to franchise him. They did not franchise him. So he is on the open market. Now, one of the teams that is most interested in Vincent Jackson is the Buffalo Bills. So you're Vincent Jackson. You're sitting right now in beautiful San Diego, and you're like, now listen, no offense to the Bills fans. I'm sorry. Buffalo ain't as cool as San Diego as far as weather and, you know, whatever. So Vincent Jackson's like, I don't know if I want to play in Buffalo. So he's going to have some suitors out there.
Chargers, this is a guy they need to keep, but not at $13 million a year. Sign him to a long-term deal, a little less money, and make sure number 83 has a bolt on his helmet next year. I told you before we went to break that Jay has an interesting story. When it comes to stories about space and NASA, we figured who better to turn it over to than Jay Isbell. Jay, what's up? Well, there's a chance that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth. Right. And so they've got a big plan to keep it from doing so. What is an asteroid, though? An asteroid? I want to know. Well, you're an ass. Oh, my gosh. I just choked on my yogurt. So you remember the show Armageddon? Yes, I do. Where they sent the movie. Yeah. It was a show. It was a movie show. It was a movie. It was a movie show. You don't remember that picture show Armageddon? As a talkie. So they send them up into space. They land on it. They have to blow it up. And they try to drill to the center. Right. Well, it's a lot different than that. They're going to paint it. They're going to paint it? They're going to paint the asteroid. The asteroid. And because what that does is it will keep the asteroid from absorbing light and it will change its projection. So they're going to just paint it. But the reality is it's not even going to hit the Earth. It's going to miss the Earth, which they say is a near miss. 17,000 miles. Question. How do you paint a moving asteroid? You land on it. You do, but it's moving. You land on it?
I guess they're all moving. They're all moving. Otherwise, they wouldn't have to worry about it hitting the earth. So they have to land on it. And then what do you get? Like a contractor? You look at different contractors to see who's going to paint. You get the best house painter there is out there. It's easy. It's easy, you guys. You're overthinking it. You go to Home Depot. You get an S-ton of Glidden paint. Glidden is the best. That's what you want to use. And you get a bunch of rollers. And then you send out a thing on Facebook. And you say, hey. Pizza and beer provided if you will come paint at my paint party. Paint my asteroid. Yeah, paint my asteroid. So do I have to pay for the gas to get on the rocket? We'll get you there. We will get you there. Hey, we need a caller right now for gas prices, right? It's a little game that we play, and we want to help you guys out there because gas is freaking expensive right now. I think the average in San Diego is... The average in San Diego is $4.37. Now, we get a caller on the line, and what we do is we play The Price is Right. I had to go to 7-Eleven again this morning. Yes, I might have gotten an eclair. I might have gotten an eclair today. I might have. You have to let us know if...
The price of the item that I give you is higher or lower than the average price of gas in San Diego, which is $4.37. And you're playing for a $50 gas card from the Mikey Show. That's right. We want to help you out. LOB had one more story that she wanted to tell us about, though, that made us laugh this morning. I do. This is ridiculous. Okay, so if you're in... Have either of you guys had any plastic surgery? Yes. No. You have. Yeah, and it wasn't elective, but I got beat up, so I had to get a new nose. Well, you would be in trouble if you were a legislator in Egypt because that is forbidden. Really? And you would be forced to resign if you got a nose job like Anwar al-Bilkimi. Easy for you to say. Your boy. Your boy. Anwar al-Bilkimi. Yes, there was rumors. There's a picture. I'm sorry. There's a picture of him with his bandages. And he said that he was attacked by gunmen. And he's like, I didn't get plastic surgery. I was attacked by gunmen. Excuse me. This is Anwar. Hi, Anwar. I was freaking attacked by gunmen. I got hit by bottle and by mortar shell. I'm sorry.
It is not plastic surgery. I'm not freaking Kardashian. If that was, in fact, the truth, I would be really upset and worried about you. Do you see the freaking bruise? I see your face. How much freaking bag of peas I tell my wife, bring bag of peas. What did you say? Bring bag of peas to me. Bag of peas. I put one in my face. Is that a new indie band in Egypt? I get freaking attacked. People say I get a nose job. I get no nose job. I have a freaking attack. Here's the thing. I am in battle. Okay, Anwar, I just have one. Don't call me Anwar. Sorry, Mr. Owl Bukimi. There is one discrepancy in your story. What is that? Well, the discrepancy is one hospital said you checked in on February 28th to get a nose job. Not a nose job. Diarrhea. This says that you checked in for a plastic surgery, and then the next day you went to another hospital claiming you got beat up by gunmen. I don't know this. Seems like a cover-up. I can't see too well. Is that Magnum P? It is, actually, yes. Listen, I'm not answering any more questions from you, Blondie. Okay, well, I'm just saying it sounds a little fishy. I tell you right now, I know no more questions. No more questions, please. All right, we're going to play the gas prices, right? M1 Rebecca, are you on the line? Are you the M1 Rebecca that we unfortunately misplaced during catchphrase? Well, now you get your chance to redeem yourself. That's totally cool. Thank you. Jay hung up on you. Yeah, it was Jay. It wasn't me. Okay.
I'm going to set this up for you again. Okay. The average gas price in San Diego is $4.37. It's very easy. I'm going to give you some items. Yes. And then you've got to tell me if those items are higher or lower than the average gas price in San Diego. Great. Now, I have been listening to this game, and I know it is kind of hard, but I'm ready to try it. Well, absolutely. We're going to give you a shot. Okay. 437 is the number to remember. Okay. A half gallon of Alta Dina milk. Is that higher or lower than $4.37? A half gallon? Yep. Okay, now let me think. Is this a half gallon or not? Okay, I'm going to go lower. It's not. Hold on. Jay! Jay! It didn't make noise! It didn't make noise. Hold on. Ready? You're right. Yay! That was a delay. I was thinking I was wrong. Now, you've got to get three out of five here. I know. Okay. You're one for one. You're good. He's got it now. Oh, there we go. All right. He's got it. All right. Number two. Remember, $4.37. Is this higher or lower? A half gallon of Dryer's vanilla ice cream. Is that higher or lower than $4.37? Oh, my goodness. All right. You know what? I think on ice cream, probably going to be...
Let's see, a half gallon. Half gallon. Okay, I think it's going to be more. You all right? Okay, now look. If you don't win this gas card, we've got problems. Because all you need is one more. One more, Rebecca. Do it. $4.37. And listen, I'm not trying to trick you here. I want you to get the gas card. So just think about that. Think about that as I ask you this one. Are you ready? I'm ready. One box of libido male enhancement pills. Oh, geez. Oh, my God. Higher or lower than $4.37. How many tablets are in the box? There are four tablets. Ask Jay, but I think it's four tablets. Don't act like you don't know. We know what it would do to the lower part of the body. It would make it go higher. Correct. So I would think maybe I'll make it go higher on the price.
Winner, winner. M1, Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. You just knocked it out of the park when the gas price is right. You absolutely killed it. Now you get a gas card. Now you get a $50 gas card. Congratulations. You did a great job. You did a great job. Man, that game makes me nervous. And I know the prices because I'm the one that gets them every day. We probably need to talk about off the air because I'm really tired of going to the 7-Eleven to do it. I'll go today. Will you? Yeah. Yeah. All right. What else do we have here? You don't have a schedule? I got it. Oh, boy. Our buddy Garrett just joined us in here. Garrett, do you want to talk to us? Hi, Garrett. No, I'm just going to come in here and watch your TV. Gosh darn, you freak me out. You freak me out when you walk in here. No, I just, you know, had to get here early, had to do something, had to drop somebody off, and then I came by. But, you know, Rebecca was doing shtick. Did you get that? Yes. She was doing bits. She was doing great shtick. She was doing our bits. All right. I'm just going to sit here and watch SportsCenter. It's cool. All right. TV doesn't work in the other studio. Weird. That's not nerve-wracking. Okay, good. Listen. I just took your mic off, too. Hey, Garrett. Hey, good morning.
Let's have a Garrett off. Really? Yeah, we should. In front of me? People should call in and say, this is the real Garrett. What was that to tell the truth? Wasn't it the TV show where they had the imposters and you had to guess which one was the real one? Exactly. Tell the truth. Yeah, that's exactly right. I bet you I could fool some people. I bet you if you let me call your wife. she would believe that it was you. No way. I bet she would. Not a chance. Hey, babe. It's me. Meet me for lunch. Yeah, we're going down to Rockfish. She'd cut you to shreds. She would. She would murder me. Didn't I prank call your house one time, by the way? I don't remember. I think I did. Oh, this audio. I listened to this audio this morning. I was laughing so hard. There's nothing better, and we have had plenty of them today. There's nothing better than an awkward exchange. One person says something, the other person... Yes, we have a lot of those. ...in creepy jokes, which Jay makes a lot of. This is an awkward exchange between two news anchors about Justin Bieber and something else. Just listen. We have celebrities celebrating a birthday today. Justin Bieber turns the big 1-8. The Canadian singing sensation first became popular on YouTube. His song Baby was a worldwide top 10 single discovered by Usher. Hey.
He can go to an R-rated movie. He can. Look at that. In his Ferrari. Right, right. Actually, I don't even know why I know this, but Usher got him a Hummer for his 16th birthday. Just gave him the keys to a brand new Hummer. Really? Must be nice to have some friends in high places. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good singer, though. Good performer. People like him. Fun stuff. Yeah. Your forecast for today, we are looking at a pretty mild day, and it is... The first day of meteorological spring. Woo-hoo, holla, yeah, yippity-yah. All right, enough of that. We're going to be having most of it. Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber, right. Yeah, give me a Hummer. 35 for today. Oh, boy. 27 tonight. All right. Uh-oh. And that's going to do it for us. We will see you back here tomorrow morning. Thanks for joining us. Have a great day. Listen to Justin Bieber while you're at it. Celebrate his birthday. Springtime. Woo-hoo. Hi, this is HR. I'd like to see you guys. Thank you very much for joining us, I guess. We are being told we still have a minute left. The storm has been keeping us up. Wow, we've been busy in that storm team 7. It's so awkward. We've been having a ridiculous day here, as you can tell. We've been up since midnight. It is almost our bedtime as the rest of you are trying to get up for the day.
I guess that'll about do it for us, so thanks for joining us, and we will see you back here, we hope, tomorrow morning at 4.30. We hope. How genius is that? Oh, my gosh. That is fantastic. Don't blame it on waking him at midnight. You wake him at midnight every day. Yeah, exactly. That's your schedule. Give me a Hummer. Jay, gosh darn it. I'm just saying I love the vehicle. I love the vehicle. They already said it. It's a nice vehicle. They already said it. You can't make somebody else's joke a second time. Our freaking boss is sitting here. He's sitting in this room. I'm just saying, it sounds like a good plan. You should have a talk with Jay after this break is over. You probably should. Oh, we will. Oh, my God. He said a couple questionable things this morning. Oh, absolutely. Nice Bieber. Bieber, Justin. Hey, I know Jay is really into musicals, but, you know, I'm really not. I was dragged to one in college one time from this girl that I was dating. Oklahoma. No, it was actually Rent. Oh, Rent? I had to go see Rent. She was one of my girlfriends in college, and she did the bit where she really wanted to be fancy all the time and cultured. And I was in college. I wanted to drink beer. I wanted to go to the bars with my buddies. I wanted to vomit, and I wanted to go home and go to sleep. Are you chicks are hot? Right. But she wanted to be very cultural, so she dragged me to see Rent. Well, this is one I think she could have taken me to see. They are actually planning on doing a musical for National Lampoons.
Animal House. A musical. No way. Yeah. How? I don't know. Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life. You like that? Playing the part of Dean Wormer. Just isolate. Just isolate all of that. What was Belushi's? Blutarski. Blutarski? Yeah. Bluto. Mr. Blutarski 0.0. You know, it's weird that you mentioned Belushi. You know, yesterday was the 30th anniversary of Indian. I cannot remember. And like everywhere, everywhere there's like video footage of Animal House. Everybody's like showing that right now. Is this twisted of me? He died in the Chateau Marmont in L.A. and I've always wanted to stay in that room. Is that weird? Yeah. Is it weird? I'm a zit. Get it. Where are the crickets? Food fight. Where the F are the crickets? Can I have access? Food fight. Why are they so loud? They're so loud. I think that has possibilities. Animal, I mean, you know, come on. I go see it. I go see it.
Why would you see it? You already know what it is. Why do you need music? Because that actually has the potential to be made fun of. I mean, could you think about the crowd participation? Oh, for sure. I guess so. Universal Pictures Stage Productions has said it is developing a freaking musical based on Animal House. I would see it. I really would. I would see it if they came to my house and did it. I'm not going to go anywhere. Mine's bigger. Well, you know all the inappropriate lines. I do. Look at those gazongas. Why are you putting your arms out? That's what I'm saying. You're not singing. You're like show tune. I have a show tune. Please tell me we have to break now. Over. A couple minutes. We have a short best off clip, don't we? That really short one you told me about? Like three minutes? Yeah. Maybe we roll that real quick. Okay. You can feast on it. Feast. Okay. And it is messed up work. Okay. Perfect. Cool. Waiting for it to load. Woods leaves me hanging here all by myself. Weird.
Hey, there he's splitting the headphones down. M1, Captain Mo from Escondido. Are you there? What's going on, Captain? Mikey Show. Hi. Hey, I wanted to talk about my father-in-law. I love the guy like he's my own father, but he drives me crazy when he says, insurmountable. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. Oh, my God, oh, my God. Insurmountable. The task is just insurmountable. Hey, get over the mountain. Yeah, yeah. You know, you still say one, too. Which? Purposefully. Purposefully. Purposefully. No, you can say it. Purposefully, not purposefully. Purposefully. So somebody doesn't do something purposefully? Purposefully. They purposely do it. Wait, maybe he's right. I'm going to look. I'm going to look. Purposefully. You do say that. I think I say that. I definitely say it. Purposefully. Purposefully. I'm going to see if that's even more. Woods is looking it up. I'm going to see if it's even more. Check it out. Woods is looking it up. By the way, Woods was an English major in college, so this stuff drives him.
Bananas. Drives him crazy. I hope I'm not making an ass of myself there. Yeah, you might not be. Yeah, you did. I hope not. There is a word. Purposefully is a word. Having a purpose. Intentional. But the way you say purpose. Oh, but it's like. But when you say. To do it on purpose is purposely. Purposefully means like you're coming in with like. Right, right. I've got a purpose. Two different meanings. He walked in. Like that means like... Like he had a purpose. He went there and... He made a point. He's right. I say it wrong. Yeah, it is a word. I use it in the wrong context. Thank you for the call. M1, Melissa from San Diego. Are you there? I'm here. Good morning, guys. Good morning. What does your mom do? Well, my mom pronounces salmon, salmon. Oh, gosh. And in addition to that... She warshes the dishes. Oh, yeah. Now, we were talking about warsh off the air during the commercial break, and I wonder if warsh is a regional deal. I think so. My parents say it. My parents said it. Not my parents, but my grandparents did. Thank you. Absolutely. I love it. Thank you. M1 Luciano from La Jolla. Are you there, Luciano? How are you doing today? Good. Hey, so I always say the word, if it's something very old or very, you know.
I always call it ancient. My wife always tells me I'm pronouncing it wrong. So just to have a little phone, I tell her it's ancient. Ancient. You say ancient? I don't know how it's pronounced. Maybe it would help me out there. But I would say ancient. It's ancient. No, there's no G. It's just ancient. Ancient. Ancient. It's very much like oyster. Don't mess. Oyster. Oyster. Hold on. It's a little bit off. Oyster. Oyster. There you go. That's M1 cave dweller from Wisconsin. What's up? What does your wife do? She says caramel instead of caramel. I say caramel. Same thing. There is an A. There's an A. There's an A. Caramel, but caramel. Caramel. Caramel. The language in the word has given you an extra letter. Thank you. Caramel. Thank you very much. It's caramel. What about Caribbean versus Caribbean? What is the right way to say it? How did Billy Ocean say it? He said Caribbean. I say it like Billy Ocean. That's always a good rule of thumb. If you ever have a question, kind of go to Billy Ocean no matter what. What would Billy Ocean say? He's my measuring stick. WWBOS.
Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, good morning. This is Garrett, program director for FM 94.9 at Woods. Had to run to the bathroom. Okay. But he wanted me to tell you guys that the guy loves his eyes, man. He's got 20-15 vision in both eyes. And you know what? When he goes to concerts... If he goes to see the Ting Tings, he can see them. And if he goes to see the Black Keys, he can see them. Cool. Well, this is LOB, and I actually went and got my eyes did with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. You can, too. It is definitely the best decision I have ever made. I've said it before. Is it a better decision than going to Coachella? Yes, it is. This is a lifetime experience. Is it a better experience than going to the Casbah? Yes. I mean, I'll be at a fun time. It doesn't change your life, your everyday life, and make things better for you every single second of every single day. That's fair enough. Hey, Woods, you back? I'm doing it. Sit down. I notice that you're wearing glasses, Garrett. That's right. You, too, could go to Clearview. And you know what? I have $1,000 off coupons. What's a coupon?
On their already affordable prices. Good morning. Go send me a message. And if you do go into Clearview for your free consultation, make sure you tell them that Ella Beer Woods sent you. The code word is black keys. Yeah, that's not really. No, that's not the code word. No, that's not going to do it. If you walk in and say black keys, it's not going to get you anything. Temper trap. Nope. But you do want to call 858-452-3937. That's 858-452-3937. Clearview. That's. Technology, affordability, and experience. That's right. At Vons, we strive to help you live life to the fullest. And this week, it's time to stop and smell the rosé, or Cabernet, or Chardonnay, or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on any and all wines when you use your Vons Club card. Plus, get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more. Mix and match your favorites or wines you've always wanted to try, like the Crema Chardonnay. and Clos de Bois Chardonnay. If you're a wine enthusiast, savings this huge mean you're going to be even more enthusiastic. If you're a wine newbie, you'll want to try new ones. And if you're a wine snob, well, you can still be a wine snob, but for a lot less money. Save 30% on all wines, plus get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more at Vons. They say that wine improves with age. The older you get, the better you like it. And with savings this big, you'll like it even more. Vons. Ingredients for life.
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The Open Sky Theater at Harrah's Rincon. On tour in support of their new album, If Not Now, When. Available now. Friday, April 27th. The Open Sky Theater at Harrah's Rincon. Tickets on sale Saturday at 10 a.m. Visit openskytheater.com or ticketmaster.com. Entertainers subject to change or cancellation must be 21 or older to attend events. For more info and tour dates, stop by EnjoyIncubus.com. The Chevy Volt was one of the most awarded cars in 2011. The Volt does something other electric cars only dream of. It keeps going for a long, long time after its full charge runs out by switching to gas. And guess what? Now it gets even better. All you very well-qualified lessees out there.
You can get a low-mileage sign-and-drive lease on a 2012 Chevrolet Volt for around $369 a month for 36 months with zero due at signing. Just sign, get your keys, and go on your merry way. Doesn't get much better than that. Must take delivery by 4-30-12. Include security deposit. Excludes low-emissions package. Not qualified for HOV lane sticker. Mileage charge of 20 cents per mile over 36,000 miles. Tax, title, license, and dealer fees extra. Your payments may vary. Available at participating dealers. Call 1-888-VOLT-4U for least detail. The 2012 Chevy Volt. It's more car than electric. What makes Wendy's newest cheeseburger so exciting? The fresh, never-frozen North American beef? Fresh-cooked applewood-smoked bacon? Or maybe the pepper jack cheese? Wendy's knows what really gets this party going. The pure and simple kick of cool, all-natural. Oh yeah, guacamole. Introducing Wendy's guacamole bacon cheeseburger. Serving up cool new tastes. That's Wendy's way. And participating Wendy's for a limited time. Truly Nolan Pest Control. Protecting you from rodents, insects, and creepy exterminators. For complimentary inspection, call 1-800-GO-TRULY. Or visit trulynolan.com.
This report is brought to you by Jersey Mike Subs. Please join Jersey Mike's this month for their month of giving. They're supporting Rady Children's Hospital. To make a difference, make it Jersey Mike's and make it count. Over 600 stores nationwide. Visit Jersey Mike's dot com. Careful as you travel over here on to the 52. Very slow right now, the 52 westbound. That ramp from the 125, 11 miles an hour. Also on the 125 southbound before Hammershaw Road, there's a large plastic tan tub. It's about a 30-gallon tub in the number one lane. Then you're going to find some delay as you travel on the 5 northbound. Pretty slow from Brant, Hawthorne, all the way down to about the 94 east, between 19 and 30 miles an hour. This report brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It's the top. choice of doctors, nurses, and healthcare professionals. Now it can be yours. The Exergen Temporal Thermometer. Get yours at Supercenter, Sam's Club, and other fine retailers today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird, Bird Sir Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by Island's Restaurants. Today looking kind of weak and bleak out there, although there is a bit more size.
We've got some overcast skies and some southwesterly winds combined with a high tide this morning, really backing things off and putting the hurt on it. Looking at knee to waist-high surf on average, maybe a few pluses down in the south part of the county, a little bit smaller up north. West-northwest, wind and groundswell remains dominant, secondary southswell joining in with it too. But a six-foot-plus high tide, right around 7, 7.30 or so, really going to back things off. Beach breaks, some rideable little crumblers there, maybe cleaner by those areas, more protected from those southerly winds. Still with the southwest direction, it's going to have a little bump on it. Reef breaks are totally backed off. Cloudy skies right now are likely to remain that way throughout the day, too. So just not one of our nicer mornings for a go-out, at least yet. For up-to-the-minute surf report forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for surfboard repair and restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm an odd guy. Woods. Put a donut on the back of the toilet, I'll eat it. Lauren. No, nice is in now. Nice is the new black. And Jay. All right, now don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. On FM 94.9. Mike is out sick today. We are holding down the fort. You got me. I'm Woodsy. I'm, how old am I? I'm 36 years old. I was about to say 33, but I'm 36 years old.
Elleby is 31 years old. She's a very attractive foxy blonde. Yeah, she is. With a big fat rock on her finger. She just got engaged. Very, very excited. That's true. And our man Jay, he's 76 years old today. No, I'm 48. Today, he's 77 years old. Although my wife, when we were at Big Bear, she decided that she was 46. The lady asked her, she'd written down her birthday and everything. She said, I'm 46. And the lady looked at her and she's like, trying to do the math. She's like, okay. And I said, well, I'm 48. And Kim goes, no, you're 47. I'm like, you've lost your mind. How old is your wife? She's younger than me. Okay. Well, you're not really older than 46. Oh, Jason. Which I have said my wife's age. You shouldn't be saying that. I know, and L.O.B. got so mad at me for saying my wife's 40. You know what? I don't want my age out there, but I guess apparently that's what I signed up for. Yes. But our wives didn't sign up for it, especially my wife. That is a true statement. Hey, I wanted to say quickly before we got into our next bit that San Diego State's Jamal Franklin was named the Mountain West Player of the Year and Steve Fisher repeated as Coach of the Year for the Aztecs. A lot of people were worried about the Aztecs. They had a four-game losing streak, and you know what? They have righted the ship.
They want a share of the Mountain West Conference. And we'll look for them to get back to at least the Sweet 16 like they did last year. So, look, March Madness is coming up soon. Selection Sunday is this Sunday. This Sunday? Yeah, it's this Sunday. So this Sunday people have to do their brackets? No. Oh, Selection Sunday by the committee, the NCAA committee? Correct. But next Monday, when we come into work, LLB, I will have on your little work area. Uh-huh. A freaking bracket for you to find. Oh. Okay. I wonder who won that again. Yeah. So people in their offices should start doing pools and a whole bit. Yeah, and start doing your research. You know, I'm not a big researcher. Jay doesn't know anything about college basketball or any sports that aren't quote unquote extreme. That's right. I kind of look at it and just go, ding. Yeah, he guesses. And he won. I will say the one year I researched is the one year I won in my office. I would like to have you independently research for me, but we're going to be playing against each other, so you probably can't. But you're a really good researcher. Yeah, I did a lot. A lot is based on winning streaks that they come off of. Yes. A lot is based on if they've been in the dance before. In the dance. A lot is based on, like, you never have.
all number one seeds in the final four. There's just a lot of, like, stuff. A lot of times a seven will upset a whatever. What's the big one, I think? I think it's the... There's one that's always... It's like a 16 and a... A 12 and a 5? 12 and a 5, maybe. That's it. I don't know. But there's a lot of time. So, yeah, there's a lot that goes into it if you want to play it that way. I can't see 12. Is that Robin Roberts over there? It is. Just freaking throwing sports knowledge at everybody. Well, so that's going to be next week. We'll be doing our brackets. I'm going to talk to our promotions guy, Adam. And I'm going to get something going for the M1s, too. And we're going to have a contest. It's going to be a freaking blast. As opposed to the March music madness? No, no, we're going to do one for listeners that want to get in a bracket challenge. Is there a free bracket online? Yeah. Yeah, they're free brackets. Absolutely. And we'll give away a prize or something. That'd be a good idea. Maybe we talk about that after this. Yeah, we'll do that. Why don't you both suck it? How about that? Brainstorm right on the air, why don't we? Yeah, absolutely. I ran across this piece of audio today, and it makes me laugh so hard, and it always has. I'm a huge Dennis Leary fan. I saw him in concert. I might have. I might have.
His performance. I might have walked to the front of the stage, put my hand up to get a high five from him. I might have. I might have also taken my Yankee hat off and put it in my back pocket because he is a huge Red Sox fan. Oh, boy. And I didn't think that he would give me a pound if he saw my Yankee hat. That's embarrassing. So did he pound you? Yes. He didn't pound me. He gave me a high five. Best pounding of your life. Isn't that why they call you Pound Puppy? Isn't that why that's your nickname in college? Pound Puppy? Pound Me Puppy. No, just Pound Puppy. Isn't that Woods? Yeah. Isn't that why that's your nickname? That's not why. It's not my nickname. Is it because you're a puppy dog guy? You know my college nickname was Nervous Purvis. Is it because you like dogs? Yes, that's why. Why is your nickname Pound Puppy? It's not. It's not. Okay, Pound Puppy. What's this clip? I ran across this clip this morning. It's Dennis Leary on coffee. Suck it. So let me ask you this. Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a f***ing meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee. They got mochaccino, they got chococino, frappuccino, cappuccino, rappuccino, alpuccino. What the f***? Alpuccino. I walked into a Starbucks about a year ago. A little kid behind the counter. I go, yeah, give me a regular. Regular what? Coffee. What flavor? Coffee-flavored.
Identical wood. I'll stick that menu right up your ass, kid. Menu. Coffee doesn't need a menu. It needs a cup. That's all it needs. Maybe a saucer underneath the cup. That's it. It's on L.O.V. Look at you. You're so critical. Yes. Oh, you. You. You had so much to say about Brian Regan. Oh, Brian Regan. Brian Regan is a genius. Brian Regan was at least talking about something that nobody's talked about before. Who doesn't talk about how coffee's complicated? Hey, look, I'm Brian Regan. Hey, look, there's a tree. Isn't it weird that a tree has bark? Hey, look, I'm Dennis Leary. Oh, my gosh, I'm so mad. Bleep, bleep, and bleeping bleep. Isn't it weird that it's called bark? And you know what else? A dog makes the sound bark. It's the weirdest thing. You know what you can't get anymore? A $2 cup of coffee. I'm so bleeping pissed. I don't need a menu. I just need a cup of coffee. Come on. Come on. He's genius. It's trite. You're trite. We have a best of clip, don't we, Jay? Yes, we do. And what might that be? It's Burger King's feast. Did you know that Burger King's going to try home delivery?
It's the last freaking thing in the world I'd need. Yeah. On a Sunday morning going, ooh, no hit spot, a freaking double whopper. Yeah, let me just call up. They're starting it in Washington, D.C., and then they're going to try to expand beyond D.C. if it goes well in D.C. It's actually pretty, I was trying to think of who's that lazy, but. You're looking at two of them right here, right? Oh, I will really, if that happened, I would go. Mike, come on, man. I mean, you can't do this. You can't do this. That is like calling a prostitute to your home, pretty much. You're like, look, I'm at rock bottom, okay? Well, here's the thing. Most people are going, fries don't travel. They don't keep. Yeah, they don't. Fries don't keep. Part of the fun is eating them in the car. Eating them in the car. Maybe they have a hot bag, though. That's the deal. Mm-hmm.
Burger King is saying that they can get this stuff to you and it's still going to be good. And they're showing that there are other Internet sites that are able to do it. Amazon in certain areas is able to deliver their stuff the same day. Crazy. It's awesome. You can order something on Amazon and get it that day. And so King would see a spike in Mikey's neighborhood. Well, there's a Web site here that I've used before expressly gourmet and they're awesome. But it's not fast food. It's like really good restaurants. So, in other words, it's nothing like this. Well, then the fact that they deliver random stuff to your house. You can get a bunch of different stuff. Yeah, but don't they, in fact, deliver healthy food? No. You can get anything you want from a million different restaurants. It's stuff like places that don't offer delivery direct to the customer. They'll go pick it up for you. They'll go get it for you. I know this place. Called them this weekend. Uh-oh. I had a hankering for some Italian. Yes. I called a place.
They delivered fresh to my home a pizza right out of the oven. You're telling me that they had pizza to your house? Go ahead. Yes, they did. They even had a man that drove it and delivered it right to my door. Hey, do you like Indian food? My door. Do you like Indian food? I do. Oh, do you? Yes. Well, with this website, you can actually get Indian food delivered to your home so you never have to leave your couch. What? Wait a minute. But don't they deliver Indian food now? No, they do not. They do. Not from five-star restaurants they don't. Oh. Easy. Gourmet. Gourmet. It's in the word. Like Burger King's not gourmet. Right. Fast food. But they can keep, what my point is, is they can keep anything good and hot for you. Yeah. Fresh. Real fresh. Right. You just suck at food delivery. It's one of my favorite things to do. Having a party and being like, I got delivery for everyone. And when it shows up, it's a fish filet or whatever they have. Burger King. No, try the fries. Try those fries. Try those onion rings. I know a great little plate. What if it was Wendy's? I'd be broke. No, I'd be broke, I'm saying, because I love Wendy's. Yeah, but this is Burger King.
Ah, wait, wait, wait. What, L.O.B.? What if McDonald's did it? Did I just blow your mind? Did I just blow your mind? Caramel sundaes? Is there something you like more than the other? Yes. Wendy's is number one. What if Jack in the Box did it? What if they did? U.S.O.B. What? Ooh. Think about this. What? Carl's Jr. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to blow your mind. Taco Bell. No way. Delivers. Wait a minute, Mike. You're telling me the Burger King's talking about delivery? Are you kidding me, man? You know what, dude? I actually know this place called Expressly Gourmet. Why? Expressly Gourmet delivers the best and freshest most food brought to your door. Delicious. Hey, Woods, isn't it true it's five-star? That's right. Yes. It's five-star food, Mike. Yes, Thin Dong. It is five-star. Hey, Mike. You think you like burgers at Burger King? Why? Try Dave & Buster's. They've got the tastiest burger in town. Drink Dave & Buster's. That's right. Hey, Mac. You forgot play, Woods. Ah, play. Is this a story about a fast food restaurant that's going to deliver? That's crazy because just the other day, I was at Sports Chalet getting my baseball bat and a hand-woven glove.
Hey, Mike. Yes. Yes, was. You should spend less time talking about eating fast food and more time thinking about going to your old pals at NutriShop. Why? These guys will deliver a fresh meal plan for you to help you lose weight. Why? NutriShop. You know what, Mike? Speaking of fast food restaurants delivering to your house, I used to walk in. And I couldn't even see the menu. But after going to see Dr. Sandy T. Feldman, why, now... Hey, Mike. Yeah, it was? Here's the thing. I used to go in looking like a pud to any place I ordered food. But lately, I've been using Ovation. Why, OvationHair.com helped me get on track and look nice. One of the things I love about it is how fresh and clean it makes my hair smell. Why, they'll even deliver... To your house in a box. I'm just kidding. Getting Woods is one of my favorite things. And I told him the other day, I got him the other day. Woods is, and I mean this, one of the greatest comics when it comes to sarcastic humor. When it comes to sarcastic humor, he will get me and it will make me laugh so hard. Because when it comes to sarcasm,
He's got his PhD in sarcastic humor. I get it all the time. So when I can get him with a real sarcastic thing. God, it stinks. That's why I'm pranking my old pal Woods. Oh, yeah. You little SOB. Listen to this girl. Guess what Lauren did to Woods yesterday. Jay doesn't even know. You don't know, huh, Jay? Yesterday, Lauren decided that she was going to play a little prank. On Woods. Yep. So she started texting him from a different cell phone. Not her cell phone. I have a Google phone number. What the hell is that? What is a Google phone number? You are a weirdo. I've had this Google number for a while. Right. And I just.
downloaded the app the other day. Yeah. So it'll, I can call and text people and it shows up as that number. Right. I tried to get my boyfriend too, but it didn't work. He wasn't answering the text, so he passed the test. What did you put? I went, hey, with a smiley face. No. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. He didn't answer. He passed the test. That's genius. You're a monster. And then I sent a question mark like two hours later and he still didn't answer. He probably knows you. He's like, this is probably my girlfriend trying to bust me. What did she do to you, Woods? Yesterday at 12.01 p.m. I got a new toy on my phone. Yeah. Yesterday at 12.01 p.m., I get a text message. I am, of course, laying in bed watching TV. OMG, you are so funny. I respond immediately. Immediately. Who's this? All right. Are you serious? Are you serious? OMG, LOL. I go, oh boy.
Right, right, right. And I know the oh boy means somebody's screwing with me. Yeah, and I don't like it. And I don't like it. Boy, question mark. Yeah, right. LMFAO. Yeah. So I respond, wrong number, question mark. She writes back, woods, exclamation point, exclamation point. Oh, God. And I write back, yes, too funny. I say. Who is this I'm speaking to? Nothing. Then I write back. I let him sweat it out. You let him sweat it out. How long? Ten minutes? No, it was only like three or four minutes. It felt like ten. I write back, really?
Oh, at that point, I was rolling. Oh, my gosh. My boyfriend is like, leave him alone. And then she says, it's L-O-B. And I still didn't believe it was L-O-B because I am such a paranoid freak. Right. I looked up some reverse phone number on my Google. I Googled this number. And it came up with some lady's name that I then went to Facebook and cross-reference. I'm like, this is creep. Yeah, did I? Did I make sex to somebody? Oh, great. I have some lady's number. Yeah, you have some lady's number. And she says, sorry, ha, ha, ha. And I wrote back, you monster. She texted me a picture of her phone getting you. I took it with Matt's phone. And he was like, you're going to wait till tomorrow. I go, no, no. I go, I just want to let him sweat it out for like five minutes. And then I'll tell him. I hate that bit. L.O.B., I have a question for you. Yes. Is there any response from your boyfriend? Besides not responding, that would have been acceptable. Like, in other words, what did you type to him? I wrote, hey, with a smiley face. Hey, with a smiley face. And he doesn't know who it's coming from. It's a random number. And she's testing. What are you going to say back to me? If he would have texted back...
Who's this? You would have been okay. Yep. Then I would have kept going. And what would you have said next? Something like I did to Woods. Like? Oh, come on. Like, you don't know. Something like that. You are a monster. Monstrous. I know. Entrapment. It is entrapment. It's total entrapment. Now, what if he innocently would have thought that it was like someone he knows named Elizabeth? Yeah. If he wrote back, is this Elizabeth? Oh, boy. Oh, my God. There would have been hell, too. I would have driven to wherever he was and gone, who's Elizabeth? Wow. Yeah, she's a monster. She's the greatest. She should have done that. She's a monster, yet she's the greatest monster ever. Ever. She is a monster. You are a monster. You are a monster. I'm a delightful monster. We were just watching, while we were playing that Best Of clip, we were watching, you guys remember that redneck dad? Well, besides Jay, the guy that shot up his daughter's laptop. Oh, yeah. I I loved it. I thought it was brilliant. He was real, real pissed at his daughter, who was I think she's like 15 or 16. Yeah. So many people thought that was not appropriate, though. They thought it was like, you know, traumatizing the kid. Right. And, you know, it's it's not at all. It's just that it's that extreme.
parenting, which I, I'm not a parent. LLB, you're not a parent. No. We both love kids and want kids. I don't know that I'll, I'm probably going to have to be the extreme parent because my wife is even. You're extreme in everything you do. That's fair enough. I'm the extreme parent. My parents were so extreme I think I won't be. Really? Really? Yeah. My parents weren't really extreme at all and I'm extreme. That's the way it goes. You are an extreme parent. I'm direct. It's one of my favorite. It's one of my favorite Isbell stories when Maddie, you're one of your daughters. Maddie, how old was she at the time? Gosh, she was probably 13. What'd she do? Well, let's just say that it was something highly inappropriate for a 13-year-old. Oh, boy. But, I mean, she claims that there was nothing going to happen at all. Did you find something? No. There was a boy in the room. Well, let's just say, yes, it was a boy in the room. It was after hours. I'd cut off all connection. She was already in trouble. So I'd said, hey, you cannot have anybody. You can't have a community communication with this person. Give me your phone. So, and able for them to talk, I see this guy go through the window. My wife actually sees. She's pregnant with Jasper. She's like, Jay, I'm in my flaming red pajamas. I run down the stairs. I run out the back.
I run out the back. I come in the window behind this. And I don't know who it is. I could be a prowler. Yeah. So I grab him, slam him up against the wall. It slides down behind the toilet. I'm giving him the shirt up over the head and stomach punches. You're punching him. I'm punching. It's extreme parroting and it's fire. Then the light comes on. And here's this little pimply faced, you know, tub of lard. Tub of lard. And he's like. You pulled his shirt over his head. Oh, yeah, because you disabled him. He was disabled, you know. But he was always 13. Hey, it was pitch black. It was pitch black. So, and then I take him to the living room, blah, blah, blah. But what I did the next day was I went in there with the hammer and took a door off the hinges. This is mine. I own this door is what I said. It's my favorite. It's my favorite. All of her makeup into a bag. Inappropriate parents. It's my favorite. It's extreme parenting. Extreme parenting. On the line is M1 Amy from Costa Mesa. She also is a bit of an extreme parent, I'd say. Amy, what happened with you guys? Well, we were pretty sure that our daughter, who's a junior in high school, was sexually active. And I kept trying to talk to her. And she kept lying to us. And we kept asking her. And we were just really...
pretty positive about it. So I ended up making an appointment with the OBGYN and we took her there and my husband went along even. Oh God. And, uh, you know, before we went, we talked to her about it and she still denied everything, which we just was, it was really getting annoying. And, uh, so we went to the OBGYN and he did a test and a couple blood tests and a few things and we came home and she didn't. Admit to anything. Right. Still deny, deny, deny. She denied it the whole entire time. And the next day when she got home from school, I told her that the doctor's office called and that she was pregnant. Oh, my God. Was she pregnant? She wasn't. She was not pregnant, but you told her she was. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. To scare her. Well, I guess it is pretty extreme, but we wanted her to. be honest with us, and we wanted to get her on some kind of birth control if that's what she was choosing to do. And have her just be smart and not want to have, you know, have that go down if that wasn't planned. What did she do to respond? Well, she cried and still denied it for a day. And then the second day when she came home and I stuck to my guns and told her, yeah, you know.
She kept saying, oh, they must have gotten it wrong. And I said, well, I called them again. Oh, my gosh. Double check because you just keep denying it. And then I lied again and told her, yes, she was definitely pregnant. There was no mistake. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Then she had to cop to it. Yes, she did. Holy cow. But she, you know, it was. I got to tell you, it was difficult to do, but we did it. We got her on the right path. And it's not just for the birth control for all the sexually transmitted diseases. Jay. You know, she needs to understand how important this is and how that could really change her life if she was pregnant. There's no question, Amy. That is a phenomenal story. We have got to go to break. When we come back, we're going to talk about it. We'll take some more callers. It's the Mikey Show. We're filling in for Mikey. He's out sick today. We will be right back. All righty.
The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Hey, San Diego. It's Tony for Butoni. You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking. It's the delectable, exceptional, gastrointestinal delight of your night. Butoni, butoni, butoni, butoni. Oh, you make me feel so right.
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Down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. Your spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for like... Small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I am sometimes a creep, but I'm going to sound real creepy because I want to tell you, Woods, you're looking good. Thank you very much. Have you ever seen more perfect hair on a man? That's what you define as the perfect haircut. Yeah, I call it a PHC, and I want to thank Ovation Cell Therapy for my PHC. It's my perfect haircut.
Well, that means you and thousands of other people. I have gotten so many compliments from people that I've turned on to using Ovation. A lot of people have told me they've never been able to grow their hair past a certain point. They're like, I started using Ovation, and all of a sudden, I have the longest hair I've ever had in my life. Yeah, mine is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I owe it all to Ovation. And I can never say enough, it smells delightful. So log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout and pick up your Ovation Cell Therapy System. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget to put in FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. This report, it's brought to you by Robert Half. Robert Half, the leader in professional specialized staffing, ranked number one in their industry for service, quality, and innovation on Fortune Magazine's World's Most Admired Company list.
Well, we've got some backup as you travel this morning on the 5 northbound before Hawthorne Street. Pretty slow from J Street all the way to, well, it's pretty slow all the way down to E Street. About 10 to 19 miles an hour tops. Heading over here on the 125 northbound at the 94, you've got an accident that's causing a delay. And also the 5 northbound from 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard to E Street. It's about 10, 15 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Farmers Insurance. Don't have a Farmers Insurance. insurance agent, well, you may not be saving as much as you could. Farmers has discounts that could save you hundreds. Call a farmer's agent 888-96-FARMERS. Start saving. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. How are things on the West Coast? I hear you moving real fast. Let's cut those shoes. Hola. Before we went to break, we were talking about some weird and extreme things that parents do. We had a really good call on the line, but they bailed. They had to go to work or something. We wanted to shift gears a little bit, but it's still in the same vein. Do you out there have inappropriate parents?
Like, does your dad call you Saturday at 3 a.m. and he's like, come pick me up? Drunk dad. Drunk dad. Do you have drunk dad? And not, you know, sad that your dad's drunk, but do you have the dad that's like you have to pick him up from the bars and PB? Do you have inappropriate parents? Are we not going to discuss how ridiculous that call was? That call that we just had about that, when the lady called, and if you didn't hear it, this is what happened. She took... Her daughter, she and her husband, took her daughter, who was 16, I believe, in at the time, and took her into the gynecologist because they suspected her of having sex. Right. And they didn't want her to have sex because she was their little 16-year-old daughter. Of course. And they took her in and OB-GYN did some tests. And she basically lied to her daughter and said, well, we got a call and you're pregnant. Let her sit on that news for two days. All the while, the 16-year-old girl is telling her, I didn't do anything. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. Finally, she came clean. And the mother was like, look, we had to do it. It's basically scaring them straight. Right. Right? I think it's wrong to lie to them to get the truth out of them. I don't have any kids. I don't have any kids. But don't all parents kind of do that a little bit?
That's extreme. That is extreme in my opinion. I told a story last week about my parents. They didn't believe me. They found stuff in my bedroom, like notes, and they found some condoms, which I legitimately got them from a concert as a handout. I was not sexually active at the time. Yet you kept them. Yeah. I just thought it was cool. I was so nerdy. prude. I really was like straight edge prude. I didn't do anything. I was just like... No one can get her in through a story around here without a little bit of a gig. You gotta get something in there, LLB. But my point being that when my parents nabbed me for doing stuff that I wasn't actually doing, I was like, alright, I'm gonna do it anyway. So this girl is like, all right, my parents already think I'm having sex. They accuse me of being pregnant. I might as well go out there and have sex. But she was having sex. Was she? Yeah, she said. She said she copped to it. Okay, so she knows now that they want her on birth control. And to be safe. And to be safe. And not to, you know, if you're 16 and you get pregnant, I'd say 99% of the time, it's not something that you plan.
It's a pretty safe assumption, right? Yeah. Right. So they wanted to, it's that old scared straight bit, you know, and they wanted to scare straight. Yeah. This just in, 16-year-olds are having sex. I wasn't when I was 16. But soon after? I was. I was not. Jay was like 12 years old the first time. He's always been a Lothario. We're not getting any calls for people with inappropriate parents. I guess that everybody out there has very appropriate parents. Yeah. So, you know. What are you going to do with that one? Are your parents inappropriate, L.O.B.? My parents are inappropriate. Well, my mom is inappropriate in that she thinks that her whisper is really quiet. Right. But is the loudest whisper. And she will comment if she sees something that is not right to her. Very loudly. Yeah. So inappropriate in that way. She also... Like, has to give an introduction about me to every single person that she meets, like, if we're together. Because I live here in California. I'm from New Jersey. When I go back, we could be in JCPenney's. We could be at her work. It doesn't matter. She's from California. She works on the radio. Oh, no. She's a celebrity. Oh, no. Which, A, I'm not from California. Yes, I am on the radio. But, B, I'm not a celebrity.
You are a celebrity. No, I'm not. But she just likes to give that oversell. She's overselling. I'm 31 years old. How are you still embarrassing me? That's true. I mean, I'm 36. And my parents, when my dad, when we're at the table, and he's probably listening, so I love you, dad. But when we're all at the table with like a big group. We can be going around. I'll say, you know, I want the give me the steak tacos. And I immediately see my dad's eyes go down to the price. And then it goes to my brother. And my brother goes, I'll have the chicken tacos. Then my dad's eyes shift down to that. And so we're watching him. We can be with a big group of people and everybody's watching him mentally add up in his brain. This is going to cost me a couple hundred bucks. All these people order whatever they want. It's best, though. Yeah, absolutely. Well, my mom, when Matt ordered gazpacho, which is a cold soup, she couldn't stop giggling at the table. It was one of the first times she met him. It was the first time she met him. She couldn't stop giggling until we finally had to say, Mom, what are you laughing at? What's so funny? She said, I've just never seen a man order gazpacho before. Oh, my God! First time she met Matt. That is freaking...
That's inappropriate parenting. And he was like, okay, I guess I'll have, and my grandmother's like, you get what you want. That is classic. That's absolutely, your mother is a treat. We've got an extreme parenting story on the line. It's M1 Sean from Kearney Mesa, or from Kearney. Is it the same thing? Kearney Mesa, yeah. Yeah, all right, Kearney Mesa. What's going on? What happened? When I was 16, my mom liked to play pranks, and so did we, my brother and I. So we figured out a way to set our hands on fire. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. And bring it out. Hairspray. Walked out in the living room. Hairspray. I'm sorry? Did you do the hairspray bit? Yep. Yep. But it was a little bit more than that because we could get about 30 seconds before it started hurting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we walked out in the living room with my hands on fire. My mom obviously completely freaked out. And so it was probably a Wednesday. I was 16 years old. And to set it up a little bit, I used to sleep in my underwear, little tighty-whities, you know. Six foot three and 150 pounds. Super skinny and... Wiry. Yeah, exactly. For whatever reason, when I would fall asleep, I'd throw my hands behind my head and my arms would fall asleep and my mother knew this. And so Saturday morning comes around and I grew up in Santee and we used to have fires every summer that came within four houses of our house. And so she comes screaming through the house, fire, fire, get out, the house is on fire.
And before, she had gone around to all of our neighbors and got them out on the front lawn. And I couldn't get my pants on because my hands wouldn't work. Your hands were asleep because they were behind your head. She's screaming, fire, fire, get out of the house. And she goes running out of the house. And my brother and my dad go running out of the house. And I couldn't get my pants on. So I got my... run out of the house in my underwear and everybody's standing on the front lawn. There's probably 30 people out there clapping for me when I get out there. Your mother is somebody that I would like to meet because that is outstanding. Oh, my God. It's outstanding. Yeah, well played, Mom. So, yeah, exactly. Excellent. Great story, man. M1 Hop for Teacher is on the line. Yeah, hey, guys. What's up, brother? How you doing? Good. So, when I was nine years old... I went with my family. I have four brothers and sisters. We went to Disney World in Orlando. And we were kind of misbehaving the night before. So when we woke up the day to go to Disney World, my father told us that Disney World had burned down. Oh, no. And that Mickey died. Oh, what? Goofy died. And so the entire day, we weren't allowed to mourn the death of Mickey.
We're basically told that everybody that we loved died. Oh, no. Were you guys a wreck? Oh, yeah. It was horrible. I felt like my life was over. What was his motivation so that when he told you it was still there, you'd be really excited? Yeah, well, we actually didn't go. We just didn't go to Disney World. Oh. In a minivan. And years later, he decided that that was one of the funniest things he's ever done. He decided. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's genius, dude. That is genius. And very mean. Yeah. It's horrible. It wasn't just that Disney World burned down. It was like Mickey specifically was like Mickey's dead. Mickey died. He burned to a crisp. Mickey is ashes right now. That's awesome, man. Thanks for the call. M1D Plus from Chula. Ooh. Hey. Oh, no, never mind. What's up, man? What happened? I used to work with my mother. I'm almost 40 years old. Right. And she used to tell my coworkers embarrassing stories from when I was a child. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's what moms do. You see pictures to go along with it. Yeah. Oh, no, she had some embarrassing, like, I mean, I used to work with some hot women, and she would tell them, like, seriously embarrassing things. Like?
The time I got caught climbing out of my neighbor's window. Yeah, that's not embarrassing if you were climbing out of a girl's window. It was a girl, but I mean, I'm sitting there talking to a young lady and she's telling her, you know, oh yeah, I remember the time he got caught climbing out of this young lady. Good timing, Mom. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, brother. I appreciate the call, man. Not a problem. Yeah, moms are notorious for saying embarrassing things in front of other people. My mom actually saved me one time, and I think she's listening, so she probably blocked this out of her brain. But I was at home, and a lady friend came over. And when I say a lady friend, I mean a friend. because she was a portly friend. She was a bigger girl, if you will. And we had had a few adult beverages and might have started making out in my bedroom. And my mother walked in, thank God, before, and I was like, all right, you got to go. Yeah, I had to boot her out. My mom saved me from what we call in Texas.
Hogging. Hogging, right. Yeah. They call it that everywhere. Oh, they do. Oh, do they? I thought it was a Texas thing. Yeah. So she did save me from that. So mother, if you're listening, thank you for saving me from the slump buster. You know what is a good thing for your mom to do is tell you that your current boyfriend looks like your brother. That's always a good thing. That's, and when it's sexy time, that is always something that's good to remember. That's something you can't unhear. Like the first time my mom met my ex-boyfriend. First words out of her mouth. Not even hello. She said, oh, he looks like your brother. And I thought, all right. We both just stood there and went. You, your mother. Yeah. Your mother should have a sitcom written about her. And there's, listen, if we have new listeners that haven't heard. Oh, yes. About Other Mother. They probably need to. Yes. Don't you think? I mean, we haven't talked about Other Mother in a while. Oh, man. And, you know, today is one of those days. Mike's out sick. We're exploring the space. Other mother needs to be talked about. I think I'm just going to let you set it up, L.O.B. My mother is very strange, which is why when I get married, I am engaged right now, so the wedding will be this year or next. Like I said, can't get through a story without Jay getting a dig in. She will take every opportunity to embarrass me. She has no filter.
So she will probably, she has not met my future in-laws yet. So that's a moment that I'm definitely dreading. But one of the weird things that she did was she created an alter ego for herself. How long ago? I was, I think, about like 13. Okay. I think somewhere around that age. And she created this alter ego, a character, and only does it with me. I have five kids in my family. It's only with me. You're the only one that gets a taste of Other Mother. Yes, and her name is Other Mother, and it's going to hurt my throat to do it, but... She talks like this. Hello, Lauren. She says, hi, Lauren. It's me again. That's her opening line. That's a true story. Every time she goes, yes. Our phone speaker pole is looking at us like, what are you talking about? She's looking at you like you're a goat. Yes. In the studio. Why is a goat in the studio? I'm going to be a crackhead. Right. Yes. I can't explain. I can't explain where the voice came from. I can't explain why one day she just started doing it. I don't know. I don't know the answer to these questions. So look, she did it when you were 13. She probably did it until you were 16 and that was it. She still does it to this day. You're 31. It's getting less and less frequent because I'm not...
I'm not riffing with her back and forth. You don't engage her. I don't engage her. I used to be like, oh, hey, other mother, and thought it was funny at first. The first couple times she did it was so bizarre that I couldn't help but sniggle, and then I was like, oh, I see what she's doing here, and I started to play along with her. Another thing about other mother is other mother likes to talk about my mom as if they're two separate people, and they're constantly at odds with each other for my attention. So a conversation with you now and other mother may sound like what? Hello, Lauren. It's other mother. Hey, mom. Why don't you love me? Okay, mom. So I really want to ask you. Lauren, I love you so much. Why don't you love me? I love you, mom. Will you ask? This is not mom. Mom, I have to ask you. And then she'll go, hold on, hold on. Ow, ow. As if she's being dragged away. Her voice will get farther and farther. And then she'll go, oh, my gosh. Sorry, this stupid woman. I kept trying to get the phone from her. To me, I can't wrap my brain around it. Crazy. But it's so effing funny. It's so, so weird. It was really funny for a while. And now that it's been going on for almost 20 years, I'm like, okay. So she said it would stop.
when I got to 30, and then she changed it and said it would stop when I get married. It'll never go away. Hopefully, it will stop. She'll leave me messages a lot. It's one of my favorite stories that you tell, and I know that you hate it, but I absolutely love it. M1 Whoopi is on the line from Bird Rock. Hi, Whoops. Hi, guys. How are you? Good. How are you doing? I'm doing well. Are you still beautifully big-breasted? Yes. Okay. Just wanted to check. I wanted to make sure. I just wanted to make sure. Big-breasted. Okay, good. What did you have for us? Listening to all these wonderful stories for parents teaching lessons to children brought back one that I still have issues with to this day. You know the age-old adage when you go to the store, like a clothing store with your mother or father, you don't run in between the racks of the clothes. Of course. Don't act like an animal. Yeah. Well, my parents... Very, you know, we're very strict. They do not play. When it comes to children obeying the rules, you have to obey the rules. There's no if, answer, buts about it. You have to obey the rules. One outing, my sisters and I did not listen to my mother, and we kept playing throughout the racks of clothes. She turned around. She didn't see us. So she walked to the counter and told the clerk she was leaving us in the store.
And to keep us there until she sent someone to retrieve us. She drove the hour home. Oh, my God. No way. Outside of Pittsburgh. So from the country to the mall is like 45 minutes to an hour. She drove all the way home. She got out of the car. That's crazy. That's extreme. Where are the girls? And she said, you have to go pick up your children. Oh. And he. drove back to the mall and had to get us, and we were sitting at the store at the counter, and when he walked in, that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know your world has drastically changed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know it well. I know that feeling very well, Woops. Thanks for calling. That's extreme parenting, and I love these stories, man. Is it extreme if when I went, I convinced my friend when I was... five to go skinny dipping, but we got in trouble for going skinny dipping. So I was like, well, let's just keep our clothes on when we go in. My mom made me sit on the porch until I dried off. Or did I get what I deserved? I fell out of a tree and I split my entire chin open and I needed stitches. My mother made me bring all the groceries in before she would take me to the hospital. And she told me, don't bleed on the groceries.
Because you did it doing something you weren't supposed to do. I was way up in a tree, and I fell out, and I caught it right on it, and I was not supposed to be climbing that day. I didn't get a lot of tough love stuff when I was a kid. Yeah, we can tell. We can tell. Oh, you both hard asses over there. Look at you. I can't see you. Is that the outsiders over there? Just growing up by yourselves? M1 Dina is on the line. She has a Mother's Day weed story, which is always good. What's up, Dina? Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you doing? Okay, so it was probably like, I don't know, it had to have been like three years ago, and I was working at a retail store in Orange County, and it was Mother's Day, and they were expecting a lot more, like, foot traffic that day, but it was really slow, so they let me go home early. Right. So I get off of work, and I decide, okay, I'm going to be sweet to my mom. I'm going to go get her gifts. So I go to like Bath and Body Works or something and I get her something like smelly spray and like a candle or whatever. And then I go to the little Godiva or whatever it was that they had there and I get her some chocolate. So then I go home and I go to our apartment and I open the front door and right next to the front door is the kitchen table.
And she's sitting there at the table rolling joints. And then she just looks up at me. And she giggles and says, good one. And I'm like, what? Yeah, good one. What are you doing? Good one what? Good one what? I'm so wasted. Did you know that your mother was a joint rolling pot smoker? I had no idea. Oh. Whatsoever. Like, my mom was always, like, she was kind of the cool mom. Right. She would listen to, like, I remember being in middle school and she listened to, like, Rob Zombie and Power Man 5000. Oh, wow. You know, like, she was just kind of the cool mom that could just hang out with. Right. And everybody always loved hanging out with my mom. Well, yeah, she was a pot dealer. Yeah, everybody loved her. Did she giggle when she said good one? And she was telling me, she was like, yeah, I've been smoking for a while, like five years. And I'm like, what? I love that she said good one. Good one. That's freaking outstanding. Good one. We're going to take one more call. This is one that I have to get to because this is so far out of the realm of anything that my dad would have ever made me do or that I would make my kids do. What's it, Jay, the very first one? M1 what? M1 Geo. M1 Geo from PB. Hey, guys. How you doing? Good. How you doing? Good. So I was like 15 or 16. I was at the mall with the big brothers, you know, and we're going through different stores and boosting some.
sunglasses and boosted a pack of gum. Let's break down the code for those that don't watch The Sopranos. You guys were stealing sunglasses. Yeah, whatever. Spencer's camp, little knickknacks, whatever. I go into this little convenience store that was inside the mall. Back east, we have malls that are inside. I took a pack of gum and as soon as I was about to walk out the door, this dude grabbed me and they made me sit in the office that said jail on the back office. I called my parents. My parents were having a dinner party. Oh, no. My dad had to interrupt his dinner party. Oh, no. All the way up to the mall. Pick me up. And then he took a piece of paper and like a Sharpie marker and he wrote, I am a thief. And taped it to my chest and made me walk out of the mall. Oh, no. Yeah, through all the people and everybody watching. That is freaking phenomenal, man. Through the food court. Thanks for the call. For a month. Oh, man. For a month. That's outstanding. When we come back, we're going to do this feature. It's called Are You Out There? So the feature that we want to do today, are you out there, guy or girl who's ever been shot at? Call in now, 570-1949. It's The Mikey Show. We will be back. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9.
Supported by our good friends at AIS Insurance. What's up there, baby New Year? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight, you can head to Bar 11 to see a scribe amidst the lions. Miniature Tigers play the caspaw. And L.O.B. will do stand-up at the belly up tonight. Tomorrow night, see Republic of Letters at the caspaw. Thursday night, Silent Comedy with Dead Feather Moon and the Howls play the belly up. Friday night, you can see Lagwagon at House of Blues or Stone Foxes at the caspaw. And Sunday, Crocodiles play there. Still to come, shows from Ani DeFranco, Colt, Sleigh Bells, Delta Spirit, Henry Rollins doing spoken word, clap your hands, say yeah, and Mike McCready of Pearl Jam bringing his UFO tribute band, Flight to Mars to San Diego, May 15th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. At Vons, we strive to help you live life to the fullest. And this week, it's time to stop and smell the rosé or Cabernet or Chardonnay or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on any and all wines when you use your Vons Club card. Plus, get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more. Mix and match your favorites or wines you've always wanted to try, like the Crema Chardonnay and Clos de Bois Chardonnay. If you're a wine enthusiast, savings this huge mean you're going to be even more enthusiastic. If you're a wine newbie, you'll want to try new ones. And if you're a wine snob,
Well, you can still be a wine snob, but for a lot less money. Save 30% on all wines, plus get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more at Vons. They say their wine improves with age. The older you get, the better you like it. And with savings this big, you'll like it even more. Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% off or valid for bottles 750 milliliters or more. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I am sometimes a creep, but I'm going to sound real creepy because I want to tell you, Woods, you're looking good. Thank you very much. Have you ever seen more perfect hair on a man? That's what you define as the perfect haircut. Yeah, I call it a PHC, and I want to thank Ovation Cell Therapy for my PHC. It's my perfect haircut. Well, that means you and thousands of other people. I have gotten so many compliments from people that I've turned on to using Ovation. A lot of people have told me they've never been able to grow their hair past a certain point. They're like, I started using Ovation and all of a sudden I have the longest hair I've ever had in my life. Yeah, mine is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I owe it all to Ovation.
And I can never say enough, it smells delightful. So log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout and pick up your Ovation Cell Therapy System. That's OvationHair.com and don't forget to put in FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't... We're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. We now return to a Chevy dealer near you. You okay, Kyle? You look pretty wore out.
I had the craziest dream last night. We were here at the dealership offering qualified customers 0% APR financing on all 2012 Silverados and Traverses. Uh, that's not a dream. It's happening right now, Kyle. It's truck month. Really? Yeah. What about the part where my arms were espresso machines and I fell asleep inside the butter dish? That was a dream. And there was the $2,000 allowance on eligible trade-ins. That's reality. All month long. And I had that little dog made out of nachos. Dream. The coverage on the Silverado was amazing. Reality. Then I ripped off my shirt and demanded a raise. Oh, yes. That was Tuesday. Was anybody else here? Oh, everybody was here. It's truck month. For real. Visit your local dealer for details. Length of contract limited. Not available with some other offers. Excludes leases. Must show proof of current ownership and trade in a 1999 or newer vehicle. See dealer for details. Take delivery by April 30th, 2012. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. Uh, no. I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart.
Shop at your neighborhood Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Visit the meat department because boneless, skinless chicken breasts are a low $1.99 a pound. And pick up fresh green asparagus for just $1.29 a pound. And while you're filling up your cart, you can fill your prescriptions too because Albertsons is proud to welcome Express Scripts members at all of our Save-On pharmacies. See store for details or visit albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find these savings and more at Albertsons. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep, house hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage. It was a trap. It was an open house and a busy one. They were being overrun. A lot of people did seem interested, but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with Navy Federal Credit Union. Called in the big guns. Really nice and helpful for big guns. Three and a half million members, three and a half million stories from every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Equal housing lender. My robotic assistant, Al, and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you?
Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Let Laughlin show you a good time where great variety and fun activities abound. There's no better time to make Laughlin yours. For more information, head to visitlaughlin.com and book today. This report is brought to you by Constant Contact. Are you a small business owner looking to be successful on social media? Try social campaigns from Constant Contact. It's a new tool from the company that brought you email marketing. Visit ConstantContact.com. Lots of slowing on the 52 westbound past Mission Gorge Road. There's an accident there, no injuries. Another one here on the 94 westbound before the 15 north. And then you've got this huge... Bit of slowing all the way into Lemon Grove on the 94. Speeds are about 15 miles an hour. Problem here, it looks like a request for notification to Caltrans. Madison Avenue on ramp to the 805 northbound. Must be some problem there that they've got to get Caltrans to remove something. This report, it's also brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Get low rates for good drivers and a quote at WawanisaUS.com. Drive well, save big, get covered. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. How many suits you got?
One. And the only reason I don't have more than one is because I never know what's going to happen with my weight. Woods. I'd rather watch a tornado than watch soccer. Yeah. I'd rather watch a fake tornado than watch soccer. That's just me, though. Lauren. I rolled my eyes so hard, I didn't think they were going to come back down. And Jay. I'm bringing the war to your shores. No. Yes. On FM 94.9. This is our little short, tiny break, isn't it? Yes. It's the Mikey Show. We're back. We're filling in for Mike today. He's out sick. I'm Woodsy. That is L-O-B. Hey, y'all. Lauren O'Brien. There you go. It's not bad. And that is Jay, and that is Nicole. You can hear her lovely pipes if you call in to 5701-949. The word of the day is dice. Yes. Okay? You win a four-pack of tickets to the NASCAR Nationals Wide Series Royal Purple 400. It's like... It flows. It's like... He's like Tom Brokaw.
Plus, you're entered to win the grand prize of a pair of tickets to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Auto Club 400, including parking. Can you read that? Excuse me. Can you read that again as Tom Brokaw? Please. All four pack of tickets to the NASCAR National. No, not Richard Nixon. Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw. There is a 100% chance that imaginations will happen tomorrow. We just have to make sure that it gets done. M1 Disguise from PB is on the line. What is this story about? Hey, what's up, guys? Hi. Hi, I'm supposed to tell my story, I guess? Yeah, I'm getting shot at. Okay, this was a long time ago when I was about 15. I was in the park with some friends, and we were just, you know, hanging out, having a barbecue. And all of a sudden, I hear, like, what seems like firecrackers. So I'm thinking, oh, my friends are probably throwing firecrackers at us, whatever. So I look to my right, and there's this guy in a hoodie, and he's just shooting at everybody. Oh, my God. Shoot, you know? And so I look at my sister. I'm like, you know, duck, duck. So we all duck because we're in a park. You know, what can you hide in a park? Oh, my gosh. And so we duck, and then I'm laying there, and, you know, it seems like he left already.
I look at my sister, because I try to get up, but I felt like this, like a shocking pain. Oh. I look at her, and I tell her, oh, crap. I just got shot. I was fine. At that point, like, I wasn't scared, because I'm a tough cookie, you know? Yeah. You sound like it. Yeah, yeah. Where'd he get you? In my left leg. Oh, my God. You're a hard ass. I'm thinking, I'm fine. You know, I'm fine. I'll be okay. And so I tell my sister, oh, my goodness, I just got shot. She starts. freaking out and screaming, and I'm thinking, calm down, calm down, I'm okay, I'm okay. Well, that freaked me out, because at that point, I didn't know where I got shot, so then I start crying, but by that time, the paramedics came, cops came and all that. Okay, so here's the kicker. I'm fine, you know, until this day, I still have the bullet in my leg. They didn't take it out, because it's like between, I guess, some muscle group, where I could get crippled, and I just... When you're 15, you think, just leave it there. I'm fine. Sure. That's what I always think. They do a lineup of pictures, you know, and they finally tell me, okay, what we did, we found the guy. The kicker is the guy that shot at us that day was a kid that went to my school. Oh, my gosh. That's so freaking sad and disturbing.
This was when I lived in East Los Angeles. Oh, man. Thanks so much for the call. Glad you're okay, even though you still have a bullet in your leg. Jay Bird, we got a break, don't we? Yeah. 41. We'll be back. We're going to do new releases when we come back. Part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. At Vons, we strive to help you live life to the fullest. And this week, it's time to stop and smell the rosé, or Cabernet, or Chardonnay, or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on any and all wines when you use your Vons Club card. Plus, get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more. Mix and match your favorites or wines you've always wanted to try, like the Crema Chardonnay and Clos de Bois Chardonnay. If you're a wine enthusiast, savings this huge mean you're going to be even more enthusiastic. If you're a wine newbie, you'll want to try new ones.
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With Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz bergamot body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all-American man, okay? I eat Kraft American singles. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for his jugular. On FM 94.9. Much better. You ever jumped a gun? I just pulled the trigger early. Used to that. No, very used to that. No, very used to that. We've got new releases for you, don't we? Yeah. Yeah, we do. Jay, you got them all ready to go? Yes, I do. All right, L.O.B., you're going to be very excited to know that the boss, Bruce Springsteen, has a new record out. It's called Wrecking Ball. Oh, boy.
I've heard this song before. It's actually just a live version of the record. If you think it's your time, let's step to the line and bring on your record ball. Bring on your record ball. Ask me why I don't listen to Bruce Springsteen. Oh, come on. He's a little old now. Get your record ball. Let me see what you've got from our new records. Okay, all right. Okay, that'll do. I'm embarrassed. Remember that band, the Kaiser Chiefs? They're a good band. They got a new record out. Start the record without me. So last year, I went to Coachella, and I was talking to our program director, Garrett. Yes. And I said, dude, there's this band out of Nashville that I want you to listen to. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Are you going to pull the I Discovered This Band? No. Okay. Kind of. I was looking on Twitter at my boys, the Kings of Leon, my boys, my close personal boys, the Kings of Leon, and I saw that they were tweeting this guy in this band. So I looked it up. I listened to a song. I went, holy crap, I'm all the way in. I've been waiting since Coachella for their full-length album to be out. It's Mona, and the self-titled Mona. It's a good record. It's actually, I think it was out last week, but it's out today, too. It's still out. You have their early stuff, though, right? I do, I do. You like them.
Before they were on iTunes. I've been telling people about Mona for a long time. Ah, okay. And the new White Rabbits is out. Milk Famous. This must be like my birthday today, too, because wait till I tell you, L.O.B., what's out on DVD. All right. Freaking Footloose is out today on DVD. Oh, wow. I will see it, though. Yeah, Julianne Huffman. Yeah, that's the only reason. I'll see it if it comes on like a plane or something. You are a monster. Did you like the original? It's the best movie ever made. This one, pretty damn good a remake. The kid's from Boston in this one, so that's automatically good. And then Julianne Hough, who is just, she's ungodly hot. Ungodly hot. Ungodly. Yeah, can't even look at her. Also out on DVD, Jack and Jill, which is the Adam Sandler movie where he plays he and his sister, which just...
I'm surprised it didn't go right to DVD. I'm surprised it took this long. And The Immortals, which features Mickey Rourke. All three. Well, I don't want to see Jack and Jill, but I'll watch Footloose again this afternoon. Well, speaking of new releases, you two chuckleheads will be happy. Why? And by two chuckleheads, I, of course, mean Jay and Woods because your sequel is coming out. What sequel is that? Step Brothers 2. I'm all in. I'm all the way in. It's being written right now. Right now, Anchorman 2 definitely being couched, which why have they dangled that in front of us for like three years? What does couched mean? It means it's shelved. Tabled. Yeah. Tabled? Like, they're not going to do it. It is. In the movie business, we call it couch. Yeah, I'm not in on this. That's a casting couch. I'm not. Oh, wow. It's being couched. I'm not in on all this industry jargon. Yes. Well, it's being shelved, and you can look forward to Step Brothers 2 as early as next fall. Yeah. I have a question for you, LV. Yes. Are you in? Yay. I wasn't that in on the original Step Brothers. It had its flashing moments, you know.
But that's about it. I hated it the first time I saw it. I mean, I loathed it. Yeah. I couldn't love a movie more. It's the Catalina effing wine mixer. Maybe I'll have to watch it again. I teabagged your drum set. Are you just saying things out loud, Jay? Or did you really teabag someone's drum set? I really did. All right. Well, also in a new release sort of vein, this will be a good gift idea if Jay wins your birthday. June 20th. All right. Well, your family can start saving now because it's not cheap. The Harry Potter is coming out. The Dildo Baggins movie. You're doing Smeagol for Harry Potter. Yes, we want the Harry Potter. That's completely the opposite movie. We need the Harry Potter. It's Wizards. Hey, is it, is Dildo, Dildo Baggins are in these, right? Dildo Baggins is not in this. And what was the other one? Grandolph. Yes. Grandolph. This is Harry Potter. Grandolph and Dildo Baggins in Harry Potter. No. There's 31 discs. No. Wait, wait, wait. How many discs? 31. Well, it was a bunch of movies. 31 discs. How many? It was like seven movies, I think. What do you need 31 discs for? Because there's director's cuts, there's extras, there's... How much that would be? $500. Never will own it. Never will know. There is a... I did find out, Jay, for you. There is an exclusive interview.
With Dildo Baggins. No, there's not. It's a whole DVD interview of Dildo Baggins' grand dog. Please, don't buy this box. Look, you guys, I'm not playing with you anymore. When it comes out, which is, there's no release date yet, Jay. I'm sorry to get your hopes up. Jay, I have a legitimate question for you. I have a legitimate question for you. Which means you have a fake question for me. No, no. It's absolutely legitimate. What is it? When you are watching Harry Potter, will your wife make sex to you after you've watched Harry Potter? I do have a legitimate question. This is a legitimate question? Yeah. Do you put a cloak on and then have a broomstick around the house? I've got a broomstick, but it's not the one you think. It's much bigger than a broomstick. Is it? It's more like a matchstick. It's more like one of the little... pieces of wheat on the end of the marim stick that you sweep with. Yeah, it's like the whisk or the straw. It's like that. It's straw. The wiry sweep material. You know, I'm in the same room with you now. I can just stand up and show you. Hold on, LLB. If that straw was really... If you took that straw and you left it on a grill, then it would be identical J's dong. Yeah, or left it out in the rain so all the color came out of it. Mine at least gets used.
You do a lot of sweeping? Is that what you're trying to say? If that's what you want to call it. Clean it up is what I'm saying. Are you referring to me? Yes. I used mine. For what? I used my broom every day. For what? Oh my gosh. Is it a push broom? You both have messes that need to get cleaned up. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I had fun today. We were exploring the space. Yes, we were. Mike was out sick. We were a little underprepared, but we did the best with what we had. You know, I don't think we were underprepared. underprepared. I think that we were frazzled. Yes. Maybe we were overprepared since we have eight leftover items. Exactly. We were totally prepared. We were overprepared and we were a little frazzled and, you know, we just wanted to come on and make sure that we got some best stuff clips in for you and also... More we just wanted to be there for you guys. Yeah. We love you guys. We're here for you. Yeah. So, listen, we are going to get out of here.
Probably no dice on lunch together for us today, right? Probably got stuff to do. I'm feeling sick all of a sudden. L.O.B.'s probably getting sick. Pregnant. She's pregnant. That's why the marriage has to happen so quick. You said that a couple times. She didn't like it the first time that you said it or the second time. You don't respect my wishes. Is it a boy or a girl? Not pregnant, Jay. You're dead. You're dead. Jay, you're so dead. Say it at the beginning of the show. Now you're going to have her getting after you. It was hilarious, though. We laughed out loud, obviously, because it was a good joke. It's very uncomfortable. We are leaving, and we'll be back tomorrow. The Mikey shows out. We need to get the word of the day call. Caller 9, where are you? I'm begging for you. I'm literally begging for you right now. I'm begging for you. Where are you?