The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/28/11
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
baseball playoffsfundraisingfood safetycelebrity musicfirst time experiencesgame showparenting productsstudio prankssweet carolineyankeesred soxmikeython
Host Mikey, alongside sports analyst Woods and assistant producer L.O.B., opened the show celebrating the Red Sox elimination and Yankees' playoff hopes while singing Sweet Caroline. He then announced the upcoming 28‑hour Mikey‑thon radiothon to raise $25,000 for Rady Children's Hospital, detailing auction items and noting Woods would shave his head if the goal is exceeded. Later segments included a correction about a cantaloupe listeria outbreak, a feature on Elton John’s custom Million Dollar Piano, and Anderson Cooper’s first‑ever taste of spinach and coffee. The show featured a studio game where L.O.B. presented personal facts for the hosts to judge as real or fake, plus lively discussions about the diaper genie and Mikey’s confession of leaking laughing gas into the booth.
What happened, in order
Sweet Caroline Yankees joy
Mikey and Woods celebrate the Red Sox elimination and Yankees' playoff prospects while singing Sweet Caroline.
Mikey-thon 28-hour marathon
Mikey announces a 28-hour commercial-free radiothon to raise $25,000 for Rady Children's Hospital, detailing auction items and noting Woods would shave his head if the goal is exceeded.
Cantaloupe listeria correction
Mikey corrects his earlier mistake, stating the listeria-tainted cantaloupe outbreak is not in California and advises disposing of unknown-origin cantaloupe.
Elton John's Million Dollar Piano
Details Elton John's Las Vegas return featuring a custom piano adorned with rhinestones and a video screen, taking four years to build.
Anderson Cooper tries spinach and coffee
Anderson Cooper samples spinach and coffee for the first time on air, reacting to the tastes and textures.
Diaper genie loathing
The hosts express strong dislike for the diaper genie, calling it a nightmare that invades their thoughts and causes nightmares.
Laughing gas leak confession
Mikey admits he has been leaking laughing gas into the studio, joking that it could become lethal if continued.
Real or Fake game with L.O.B.
L.O.B. presents five personal facts for Mikey, Woods, and Jay to judge as real or fake in a studio game.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsL.O.B.JayChrisAnderson CooperElton JohnRebeccaJakeJeffHBSergioVanessaLinda
37,851 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
The way you look at it today is simply Woods' day. And, you know, I'm happy for him. Why Sweet Caroline? Well, I'm not 100% Woodsy will tell us, but I believe they play Sweet Caroline in the seventh inning stretch of the Boston Red Sox. And as you know, Woodsy is certainly the biggest Yankee fan that I've ever known. And the guy loves the Yankees. And Woodsy feels like what happened last night is as good and feels as good emotionally as is Yankees winning a World Series. The Red Sox are out. Fishing. Fishing. Golfing. Hunting. Whatever they want. Do whatever you want. You got all the time. They can sleep in. Sleep in real good. They are eliminated. Yeah. For the second year in a row? Yeah. Second year in a row. Second straight year in a row. And as a Yankee fan, the only thing as good as winning a World Series is watching your bitter rival be eliminated from the playoffs. Hated rival. Somebody called me a hater last night. I said, yeah, a big one. Yeah, well, I mean, this is the only...
You know me, I do not believe in hate. However, I do love a good rivalry. And, you know, in this context, it's kind of fun. And, you know, it's... Just sing it with me. Just sing the whole thing with me. Come on. Sweet Caroline. I'm so happy. And you know, to left field, in comes Crawford, can't make the catch. He pops up. The throw to the plate is going to be off the mark. And the Orioles walk off at the win. The Red Sox lose in a crucial 162nd game of the year. And now they must wait and see what happens at Tropicana Field in St. Pete. Three minutes later. That means that the...
Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now the wild card for the American League. Yes, sir. And it was, you know, listen, I'm obviously very happy. I'm a Yankee fan. And as much as I'm a Yankee fan, I'm a Red Sox hater. I can't stand him. I never have been able to stand him. I've heard incessant lip for 162 games. Incessant. They made all these moves. Listen, they got Gonzo from the pods. He had a monster year. They got Carl Crawford from the Rays. He had not so great of a year. They made all these moves, and it was guaranteed that these guys were at least going to make it to the World Series. People were like, there's no way they won't. They were in September. It was a 99.6 chance at the beginning of September. This is from coolstandings.com. 99.6% chance that they would make the playoff. Oh, wow. 99.6% chance. Wow. And they went 7-20 in the month of September, defying math. Defying logic, defying math. No one could predict that. You don't even know. No one would. How could you? They were great. Also, last night, the Yankees were up 7-0 in the 7th. Wow. And they lost. Oh, wow. Wow. Woods. I mean, it was the greatest night of baseball.
that I have ever seen in my life. And if you are a Padres fan or a Brewers fan or whatever, and you're watching those games like I was, it doesn't get any better than that. It just doesn't get any better. You had three teams all trying to make it. And now in the National League, the Cardinals, they won. They beat the Astros 8-0. So the Braves had to win. Well, the Braves go to extra innings against the Phillies. They lose 4-3, so they're out. That's got to bum L.O.B. out because L.O.B. is a Philly fan. No, Philly's fine. They've already clinched. Yeah, Philly's in. So the playoffs are now set. And the way it's shaping up is starting tomorrow, it's going to be the Rays at the Texas Rangers. That game is on at 2.07 on TBS. After that, it's the Tigers at the Yankees. And that game is at 5.37 also on TBS. So those are the only two playoff games Friday. Then Saturday, the Diamondbacks will take on the Brewers. in Milwaukee, Tigers and Yankees again, Cardinals at Phillies and Rays at Rangers. Wow. Sleep and rewind! It was unbelievable. And, you know, the Red Sox closer, Jonathan Papelbon, comes in, strikes out the first two guys. I mean, and was blowing them away. He gives up a double, then another guy comes up, he hits a double, and that's it. Wow. It was, I can't even put it into words. It was a great moment for him. Absolutely.
When it's over for Boston, it feels real good to Woods. And, you know, my team has won enough World Series rings since I've been alive to know that awesome feeling of winning the World Series. And especially me, I've watched about 100 and between, I'd say every year between 120 to 150 games. And not all, you know, I don't watch them in their entirety, but I'll see pieces on my laptop of 120 to 150 games a year. And to listen to that lip that I listened to this year and then for this to happen. It's as good as winning a World Series. And if we get knocked out in three games, I'm like, oh, well, we made it. We were there. We had a shot. Right. It was unbelievable. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age, wearing a T-shirt today that L.O.B. got me for Christmas. And it is a Trilolo shirt. which we haven't played for a long time. So as we do introductions, I will give you a little Trilolo. Woodsy is the very happy gentleman sitting across from me right now. He's our sports guy, and he is our guy's guy. Guy's got to dip his snuff in right now. He is as happy as it gets that his Yankees are going to the playoffs and that the Red Sox are not. L.O.B. is...
The blonde girl sitting to my right. She's our assistant producer, and she is 30 years of age. Jay is that handsome devil in there. Guy's 48 years old, and he's from Houston, Texas. And that young man, the 22-year-old across the room from us, separated by glass, screening phones, is Chris. That's Chris. Word of the day is puzzle. When you hear me say the word puzzle between now and ten, caller nine will get Queensrite tickets. House of Blues. And we will also give you dinner for two at the Crossroads in the House of Blues. Bam. Real, real nice. She scolds me. He's joking. He's back in on you. Now he likes you again. Ladies and gentlemen, we are seven days, 49 minutes, and 50 seconds away.
From Mikey-thon 2011. Oh, my gosh. What I'm trying to tell you is, is that exactly one week from today, we will only have 27 hours and 50 minutes to go. Oh, my gosh. Get your popcorn ready. Wow. We will be doing a monster, monster broadcast one week from today. It will be a 28-hour radio marathon. And let me tell you something. This year is, it pales. It just absolutely, every year of Mikey-thon, and it used to be called the 28-hour show, pales in comparison to what has gone into this year of Mikey-thon. First of all, this is really great. You know, it's always to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital.
My son Jake is autistic, and we raise money for their Autism Discovery Institute. And just in terms of the scope of things that we're going to be auctioning off, it's incredible. A Drew Brees autographed football. An Antonio Gates autographed football. Tons of stuff from the Padres and from Padre superstar Heath Bell. Just so many cool things are going to be auctioned off. We're auctioning off a dinner at my house with the Mikey Show. And so you get to come to my place. And Jeff, the owner of Pample Moose, he will cater the thing. And the food is fantastic. So you've got this great food cooked by the owner of the place. at my house with all of us. And it was fun, man. Last year, and I don't drink, but everybody else drinks. And the wine, the wine is like one of the, if you like to have a couple pops, the wine is a big thing because Jeff, the owner of Pamplemousse says, the more you bid, the better the wine gets. And his deal is, that dude knows wine.
And he's got some of the finest bottles, most expensive bottles, and just decadent bottles of wine that there is. Sweetberry wine! So, you just need to know that going into this sucker. Well, I've got something for you guys. You're going to die. It's going to put me in a hole. It's going to put you in a hole. I'm going to be in a cocoon with my head over my hands as you are thumbing through some remnants of my past. They are being mailed to me. Should be here today or tomorrow. Mug shots. That'd be a good one. We don't have that much time. But the listeners, you won't be able to turn away. It's that good. Embarrassing. Oh. Mortifying. All right. So brace yourselves. I'm in. Oh, I know. In on that. I know. 570-1949. We got M1HB on the line from Scripps Ranch. HB, tell everybody what an M1 is. M1 listens exclusively to the Mikey Show. When they call in, they do not cuss. They get straight to the point. You bring in new listeners, which I have, and you just love Mikey Show. There you go. HB is.
Is a true M1. It's a big-breasted angel. There you go. So what's going on, HB? I know how you are about the forecast, Mike. But looking at the forecast, I wanted to make sure that this is the jangle. So I'm sure we are all living in his world. I just want to make sure that Jay has made sure that there's tents going to be there again this year. Yes. And I will say this, since we're seven days away, there is no way to know what the weather will be like. A week from today. And the reason I say that is? Three days. Well, I talked to a meteorologist, and he said anything farther than three days is a bit. He said that every meteorologist on TV that ever tries to predict the weather outside of three days, they're all lying. Throwing darts. Yeah. They're bored. They said within three days, you can generally predict the weather pretty well. But after that, everybody is lying. And so, you know, we got to get three days away from the thing. But, yeah, Jay and Adam, they got things taken care of. Absolutely. We're going to have tents out there. We're going to have a little fire pit action for you to keep you warm at night. There's going to be a barbecue. Yes. Wow. Great. I've got more questions. Yeah. I know we're not upstairs. Are we going to be down in that patio area or back where the porta-potties were last year? Nope. You're going to be over where the sand volleyball is. Oh.
It's like life on the beach. Now, here's the deal. We are physically located in Mission Valley. The Mikey Show broadcasts from Studio M in Mission Valley. And it is a beautiful studio that was built exclusively for the use of the Mikey Show. And we're on the seventh floor of this building in downtown Mission Valley. Now, surrounding our building, it's really nice. Glass building. It's a beautiful building. And surrounding our building, on one of the corners on the east, what is it? The southeast. Yes. The southeast corner of our building is this big sand lot with a volleyball net on it that no one ever uses. has ever used in the history of the building. It just sits there. We never see anybody on it. We never see anybody there. But I guess we got permission to get that area, right? We're going to own that area. We're going to own that area. And so that will be M1 Hangout. And now, I'm glad that I got you on the phone, HB, because you are a good representative of...
M1 Nation, and I want to try to appeal to you and to reason with you with the following. So let's talk through this, okay? Let's talk through this. One of the things that we heard last year was that the Mikey Show, people wanted to see us outside more. Yes. Okay, so what we have done this year is we have made sure that we can spend more time out there with you. However, with that being said, I want to appeal to your kind heart. And I want you to understand that it's difficult for us to do it for a number of reasons. But the biggest is that all of our controls for stuff are up on the seventh floor. And so we do want to spend time out there. We're going to spend time out there. But I just want M1 Nation to try to remember that. This is mainly about a broadcast that takes place on the seventh floor, but we will be out there and we will see you. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?
As long as we see you a little bit more, we'll be happy. We understand you're seven floors up, so it's a little hard to peer into your studio. Yeah, seven floors. And that used to be, see, at the old station, we were on the ground level. People used to peer through the window, and it was cool. And people would walk up to the window in costume. You can't do that anymore because now we're on the seventh floor. Unless you can fly. Unless you can fly. Or get some suction cups. Suction cups. But outside of that, yeah. And we're even. We're watching movies outside. Which is awesome. I think that's awesome. That's great. All right, HP, we love you. Love you, too. All right. We'll see you. If you want to call, open phones. You can call about anything right now. 570-1949. If you want to text, it's 949mikey at gmail.com. So, yeah, one week until Mikeethon, 28-hour live broadcast. We don't get off the air for an entire... 28 hours straight. And we, you know, there is no commercials. It's commercial free. And it's all to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital. The magic number this year, $25,000. We're trying to go over the $25,000 mark. Woods has even said that if we do beat last year's $25,000 mark, he will shave.
The fryer cut into his head. It's a true statement. He was going to do that if the Padres won six games in a row. They couldn't do it. And so he's still got one more thing out there, and it's if we can cross that $25,000 mark. Let's do it. Please. $25,001, you get a fryer cut. There you go. Feast on that. Let's see. So yesterday we erroneously, I erroneously announced that The cantaloupe that was tainted with listeria that was an outbreak was here in California. It is not. It is not here in California. Now, the death toll with these cantaloupe is climbing for sure. But federal health officials have issued new warnings telling people to dispose of any cantaloupe that they have. if they don't know where it's from. So just know that the cantaloupe that you're getting was grown in California and you're good to go. The CDC has confirmed 72 sick people, 13 deaths. Wow. Now, Listeria, as you know, because I was telling you yesterday, it involves people with weak immune systems and generally...
The elderly. So Jay, of course, would be at risk. Throw it away, Jay. 48 years of age. Let's see. Hilarious. Federal and state officials still don't know how the cantaloupes came to be contaminated. I was at a yesterday, went to buy flowers for my wife for her birthday. And I get my flowers at this place. It's also an awesome fruit stand. And the lady that owns it came over to the florist area and was talking to the florist. And she's like, oh, my God, people are freaking calling. They've been calling all day about this cantaloupe. And I just keep telling them, listen, our cantaloupe is California cantaloupe. And you're going to be fine. Yeah. And I was like, oh, well, oh, well, oh, well. I bet it's driving produce people mad. Here's the deal. I'm not taking a chance anyway. Yeah. I like cantaloupe, but I'm not going to roll the dice. Ate some yesterday. You did? Yeah, it was delicious. You're a thrill seeker. I am. He is. Living on the edge. Here's the places. Colorado, Kansas, Maryland, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas. And then, let's see. Tests are pending on three other deaths in Wyoming, New Mexico, and Kansas. So, there you go. Now, again.
It's mostly the elderly. That's who Listeria gets. Be careful, Jay. I wonder how it starts. I wonder how it, you know, because I know that when we were dealing with bad spinach a few years back, it came from the fecal matter of pigs that got into rainwater and then ran into the... ran into the produce as it was growing in Salinas, California. And that's how that outbreak started. Listeria. How does that start? How did this get going? How did it get so viral and go out there and... Start getting people like that. Well, the first thing, the drummer lost his arm in an accident, and then they came back and they did another album. That's Hysteria from Def Leppard. You're thinking of Hysteria, which sounds a lot like Listeria, but it's different. Well, then their guitar player died. He died of alcohol poisoning. Steve Clark was his name. Def Leppard. You're thinking of Def Leppard and Hysteria. And then they did that album.
Then they had that terrible song, Pour Some Sugar On. This is list area. So, you know, you know what I'm saying? Different one. Elton John, who's a legend, as you know, is going to return to Las Vegas. As you know, he had a very wonderful run in Las Vegas for many, many years. He was knighted. I don't know if you know this, but he was knighted. So he's actually Sir Elton John. He was actually knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 1998. And so Sir Elton John will be returning to Caesar's Palace. And it actually happened last night. He started and began. He's going to do 16 shows that are scheduled there. He took the stage in a dazzling... This is not a joke, by the way. What I'm about to tell you is a true fact. He took the stage in a dazzling sequined cape. Weird. He garnered several standing ovations during parts of the show. Sir Elton. Yes. What are you charging for a ticket? Well, you know, we don't give the SOBs away. Right. No comps, right? No, there is...
That's actually humorous to think that we would give away a complimentary ticket to see Elton John. So if I go to the concierge at Caesars and say, hey, I'd like to make that right for the kid. He's trying to go see Elton John. Oh, that is a good one. That is a good one. That is a... You can't do that. What they would say to you is they would look you directly in the face and they would say... No way, Jose. That's right. No, you're not going to get that. Actually, Elton did not play Candle in the Wind. He played for two hours, didn't play Candle in the Wind. And the new show is called The Million Dollar Piano. Now, why is it named The Million Dollar Piano? That's because it took... Yamaha. Yamaha. Yamaha. Four years to build the piano that he's playing. That's insane. It took them four years to make this piano. Individual rhinestones on every key. It's a black grand piano, and it's got a video screen on the side of it. Oh, boy. Sir Elton, take a look. We think we've got it this time.
Two years in. Yeah, this is garbage. It's out of my face. Get it away from me. You've been working on this for two years, my friend. By the way, he did a five-year run in Vegas that ended in 2009. And it was the same bit. It was actually supposed to be two, but there was a lot of demand. So they kept going with it. I'd see Elton John. Hell yeah. He's got a baby now. I'm surprised he said. Happy birthday. You know, I guess the husband is the stay-at-home dad. Ah. So. It's Mr. Dad. The old sod. Mr. Dad. S-A-H-D. Stay at. Sod. That's right. Sod. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sod. Sod. Yeah, it is sod. Stay at home, Dad. Sad, actually. That's right. Sad is so American. By the way, speaking of spinach, Anderson Cooper just ripping off Mikey Show bits. Yeah. He apparently tried two things on his television program for the first time in his life yesterday. And those two things were coffee. Yes, Woods. He'd never in his life tasted.
How do you work in entertainment and not have coffee? No kidding. He didn't. He didn't have any desire for it and didn't ever try it, which is so weird. It's true. I always thought it was stinky. So he tried spinach and coffee, and you get to hear what it sounds like for a grown human to do that next. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Foo Fighters. October 17th, Viejas Arena. With special guests, Cage the Elephant and Mariachi El Bronze. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at livenation.com. Ticketmaster or call 800-745-3000.
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good together Cox and San Diego we just have this amazing connection limited time offer excludes required equipment rental taxes and other fees other restrictions apply This report is brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. Find your motivation, find your thing, find your partner, find all those things, and they're pretty sure you will have found your way to thrive. Kaiser Permanente. Find them at thrive.kp.org. Well, we've got a little slowing in a lot of different places. First part is an accident here on the 8 westbound Jackson Drive. We do have an ambulance on the scene. Also, really slow stretch here on the 94 westbound Spring Street down to Sweetwater Springs Boulevard in the mid-20s. and hanging over here on the 5 southbound. It's in the teens right now, Main Street all the way down to Harbor Drive. This report also brought to you by the San Diego Chargers. Hey, Chargers fans, bold up. The Chargers take on the Dolphins on Sunday, October 2nd. For tickets, log on to Chargers.com or call 1-800-745-3000. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Yeah, this is the light.
Mikey. Oh. All right. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love watching human beings in their natural habitat. Woods. I have a fear of dentists. A fear, like when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. Lauren. I'm more apt to listen to a specialist than a general practitioner. And Jay. You guys don't make homemade ice cream? Hey, why? On FM 94.9. I just thought of this. Since we're going to play this. Since we're going to play this Anderson Cooper thing. Maybe have people call if you just recently had something that we'd be shocked about. I don't know what it is. I mean, you just had it. You never tried ice cream and you finally tried it. Yeah, dude. It was two years ago. My wife had asparagus for the first time. Just tasted it. First time in her life. She loves it now. She liked it since the first time she had it. I had never eaten beets until I was...
until I was at Betty Ford in 2004. It was the first place I ever tried beets. I love them. Love them in salads. Love it. Love the taste of it. Good for you. Disgusting. Yeah, I think that they have a very woody flavor to them that I really like. It tastes like wood. It does. And that must appeal to me, biting into wood and tasting wood. Oh, boy. Nothing's safe now. I don't know. I drove by a park and saw Mike just gnawing on a tree like a beaver. Just eat anything. Typical fat guy. Well, if you just tried something that most of us would be like, are you kidding me? Why? 570-1949. Anderson Cooper with spinach and coffee for the first time in his life. So, I'll taste two things. What do you think I should taste? Should I try coffee and... I don't want to try... The lemon. I'll try a cup of coffee because that seems relatively easy. Wow. I've never had coffee. Me either. It just seems watery. The other two people had never had it either? Come on. Fakers. I had coffee and I was like nine. Yeah, I mean...
Listen, I believe that there are people that haven't had certain stuff. It's so weird, I believe that Anderson Cooper hasn't. Three people? Don't lie to TV. You're lying to TV. Mustard, I've never tried that. There's a turkey, I've never had that. I want to see what that's like. What's that white stuff you have with the Oreos? I'd like to experience milk. First time. Yeah, I don't see the point. Really? That's what people drink every day. I don't see the point of that. I'll try it. Spinach? All right. All right. Applause. Yes! You did it. He's eating. He ate spinach. He's a big boy. Good job. Is this just water? Yeah. Okay, that's gross. It's also all, like, slithery. What is on that? Twelve hours later, he'll get a standing oak because he'll digest it. Yes. So there it is. 570-1949. What have you just tried? You just, just...
tried it m1 uh christian from carlsbad what'd you just try for the first time last week for the first time how old are you what what did you try green or red what'd you think and they tasted like uh i don't know something i never had before how do you think that you've how do you think christian that you've avoided them grew up with uh five other brothers and sisters and we took out we ate a lot of like takeout when i was growing up and i don't know I was at my buddy's house and her mom offered me grapes. I was like, I've never tried those. And I thought it was just like so weird. That's awesome. That's awesome. I'd love to be there when people do that. I don't know why, but I just want to look at your face and see. Yes. I can't really. I don't know. It's weird. Yeah. Thank you for the call. I now have a new television show idea. It's a reality show based on filming people while they try something for the first. Listen to this one.
I'm one Matt from San Marcos. How old are you? 22. What'd you just try? A cheesecake for the first time last week. And? And it was delicious. It's outstanding. It's pretty darn good, isn't it? I actually had it from Jack in the Box, too. I didn't go to the Cheesecake Factory. Now, were you sort of driving through and you looked at it and you're like, I've never tried that. I'm going to give it a shot. They told me as I was out the window, are you sure you don't want some cheesecake? It's only $1.99. The guy goes, matter of fact, I do. You know what? Screw it. Hey, it's Wednesday. Why not? Yeah. Caution to the wind. Give me some of that. Now are you on a cheesecake thing? He's on a quest. Yeah. He's going to try exotic cheesecakes from all over the world. Curry cheesecake in India. Send me a private message. I'll turn you on to some good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I've never had a big sweet tooth. I'm a big guy. I'm like 6'2". And so people are always amazed when I told them that I've never tried cheesecake. Wow, I would have thought a fat guy like you would have had cheesecake a long time ago. Looks like the snort cheesecake. Look at how fat you are. Oh, wow. All right. Hey, thanks for the call. I like it, Matt. Thank you. No problem. You're looking kind of fat. This is M1 Dina from San Diego. Dina, are you there? Go ahead.
He thought it was like a real bad thing. Like stinging. Like poison. Oh my gosh. Never had bubbles. Grandpa. How old was Grandpa? Not a beer drinker, I guess. Mikey. Figures you put him on. Call on. That's not him. And then Jay gives me the... I just cracked myself up shoulders. Oh, wow. Oh, it hurts. Thank you for the call. Thank you. She's cracking up. Just killing himself. M1 Nubian Prince is on the line. Hi, Nubian Prince. Good morning, Mikey Show. What's going on? Oh, man, dude. Okay, so my girl, my fiance, she's super into health, so she's having me eat, like, flavored tofu and quimla. Yes. Quimla? Quimla. Quimla.
Who? Don't be talking about our private life on the air. Yeah, it's actually called quinoa, and it looks like rice, or it's grain. It's grain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's, like, having me eat that, and then, like, flavored tofu. So, like, when she makes me the flavored tofu, it's like, it looks like chicken. And I'll tell her, like, man, you make some great chicken. And she's always looking at me, like, it's not chicken. I'll sit there and argue with her. This is great chicken. Kim does the same thing. Are you kidding? Sometimes it's better than chicken in some kind of pasta dish because chicken will dry out. It stays moist and delicious. Well, this is for people that have never experienced tofu. Tofu is a soy product that's white, and it sort of looks like a very firm, gelatinous cheese. That's the best way to describe it. And the thing about tofu is that it takes on the flavor. of whatever it is that you cook it with, which always makes me say, why not just eat that then? If you're trying to take on the flavor of chicken. Textures. You understand textures. Why don't you just eat chicken? Isn't it healthier than chicken, supposedly? Not really, actually. I mean, is chicken so unhealthy? I've never had tofu. It's always actually not that good for you. It isn't? Good, LLB. I love to hear that it's a bit. It's a bit.
So tofu is not as good for you as people think? I don't do the soy. Good. I'm liking this. All right, Nubian Prince. You got it. Yeah, we're talking about stuff that you just tried that you had no idea. You just didn't know. Ain't too much out there. Y'all two pigs haven't tried, is there? Y'all couldn't even play this game. You guys had it all, haven't you? Everything. Mike's probably eating polar bear. I'll say he is L.O.B. It's like watching kids eat stuff for the first time. It's hilarious. Our boys are doing that right now. The boys are having all kinds of things. And Rebecca gets so excited to go, babe, watch. He's going to do this for the first time. And of course, Ryan loves the stuff the most. Lukey is the healthier of the two. Maybe pickier. I wouldn't say healthier. Well, when you give him stuff that's, you know, the greasy, he doesn't like it very much. But fruits, he digs it. Fruits, he digs it. Ryan, he doesn't dig the fruits, but he loves the new French fries or stuff like that. It's fun. It's fun to watch. I'm not making fun of them. I'm just telling you the truth. My sister got one of those, like, super healthy green drinks. Yeah. From...
I think it was like Jimbo's or something. And her little girl is 18 months, and she kept pulling at it. She wanted some. She wanted some. My sister's like, all right. So she gives it to her. She takes a sip, makes this face, and then bursts out crying. Really? Yes. Like inconsolable crying. Wow. Because it was too strange. Disgusting. Too weird. Yeah. Woods and L.O.B., are you two... too young to remember the Tylenol cyanide stuff back in the 80s. I remember it vaguely. Me and Jay definitely do. I'm 41. Jay's 48. You do not remember, right? No. This was a big deal. Somebody took Tylenol and took the two parts of it, you know, the capsules. Took it apart, emptied out the Tylenol and put cyanide in them. Wow. And it killed people. And that is what caused all the companies to start putting the tinfoil on top of all boxes or all containers of aspirin. Brilliant. And medicine. That's where it came from. Before that, it wasn't like that. Everything's safety sealed now because of that. Yeah. It used to be before 1982.
that if you bought a bottle of Tylenol, you would open the box up, which was easy to open the box. It wasn't sealed. You'd open the box. The bottle was inside, and you just twisted it off, and there were the pills. And there was no cotton. There was no anything. It was just pills. And until this started happening, and it was on this day in history in 1982, that the news broke. Seven people. Had been got in Chicago. They never caught the person that did it. That is creepy. Didn't they think that he actually went into the store, purchased it or whatever, and then took it and then brought it right back in? They checked everybody at the plant. They checked everything. They could never find anything on this person. That's a creep. I know. And never caught. It makes you wonder, is that the only thing that that creep did? Yeah, no doubt. Come on. That's hideous. Yeah, it's hideous. But tamper-proof packaging because of it. All right, I got a text for you. Tell me what you think. 570-1949. Mikey, there's an old man that lives on my street and is always yelling at the kids to be quiet and stay off his lawn. So the other day, as he's giving the kids a hard time, I yell, You kids, stay off my lawn! Now my wife wants me to apologize.
I say get. What do you think? It's his lawn. Yes, I think it would be nice if you apologize. Of course. Of course I do. But mainly what I think is, how about just keeping your mouth shut to begin with? To begin with. You know? Like, what are you getting? You just want drama in your life? Is that it? Leave these old men alone. You just want drama. He's just doing bits. He's trying to be funny. If you're yelling at the old guy, you can't stay off my lawn because he yells at the kids in the neighborhood. You are the guy that desires drama in your life. You're drama king. I will say there was this old lady that lived across the street from us that even if we got near her yard, she would just read us the right act. We wouldn't even do anything. We wouldn't be in her lawn.
You couldn't. She demanded your attention. She was just sad and lonely, I think. She's the drama seeker. Yeah. In fact. She is. That is a true fact. That's a true fact. But so are you if you're yelling stuff out to her. What's the deal with yards? What's the deal with it? With yards? What are you freaking out because somebody's on your yard for? My grandfather used to take great... pride in his like he'd be in grass all but out there with a pair of scissors you don't get leveling it no yeah but i mean the kid stepping on it is gonna mess it up yeah it's it's grass it's kind of what it's there for um no stepping on it no uh but if they're messing around then yeah i don't dig in holes i mean i'll tell you riding your bike on it don't ride your bike on my lawn how about you how about you this is this is always my deal You know this. I want to hear your side. Why don't you just ride on your lawn? Okay. I'm not riding, but I'm in the street. Have your dog crap in your yard. I'm throwing the baseball around, and one gets over my head, and it goes in your yard. I run in your yard to pick up the ball. If some lady screams at me, I'm going to do a bit on her. Yeah, that lady, she's got mental issues. Yeah, you're probably right. She's got mental issues if she's yelling at you because the ball went there. But when it comes to riding your bike and when it comes to like... Don't be a clown.
And dogs pooping. If your dog poops there, just pick it up. Pick it up. Yeah. You know, that's not right. What if I skateboard on your sidewalk right there in front of your house? In front of your house? A city sidewalk, my friend. A city sidewalk? Well, even if I go up in your driveway a little bit. Oh, yeah. No. Just stay off my property. Stay off my property. Why? I'll tell you why. Because I don't want you to break your arm. That's why. I don't want to. I don't want to be, yes, the whole bit about being subject to a lawsuit. Sued. Yes, that bit does apply to me. I think it's just a little invasive. It's a little loud skateboard. I used to live by a place where kids would skateboard all the time, and I'd be like, oh, with the stupid skateboard wheels. My driveway, it's my space. I paid for this. But the sidewalk goes right across your space, so back and forth. Sidewalk's okay. Sidewalk's okay. Even then, if you're back and forth in front of my house all day, Come on, pal. Beat it down the road. I'm a kid. Hey, Tony Hawk, why don't you go to that place that they built for you? It's the only place that my mom will let me skate. I can only skate on our street, and you happen to live on our street. That's fine with me. Just keep it down. I'm always the type of person that's like, you know what, man? I'll make you a deal. I'll make you a deal. I won't freaking skateboard on your house. You don't skate on my house. Yeah, let's just shit here.
Let's shake on it. You leave me alone, I leave you alone. Everybody leave each other alone. Now that I'm home during the day more, I'm really bothered by almost everything my neighbors do. I'm like, really? With the leaf blowers? Oh, yeah. All the time you've got maintenance. All the time. If it's not this guy, it's the next guy. Yeah, that's true. My next door neighbor is from South Africa, and he lives alone, and he always walks around in really, really, really short shorts. Really short shorts. Longish hair, kind of a page boy, maybe? Yeah. Long hair. Oh, wow. And he will stand on his... White dude? Yeah, he's a white dude from South Africa. And he will stand on his roof. He has a separate house from his regular house. And he'll stand on his roof at freaking noon when I get home. And I hear, bam, bam, bam, bam. He's putting in sunroofs, three of them, into this... place and so then i hear the saw like sawing hammering and i'm laying in bed going kill me just i know and he's standing on the roof if i walk outside like in my boxers in my backyard he's like hey how are you oh wow oh hey how are you that is now is that a south african accent my best i could do hey how are you how are you hey good morning good morning tell you uh
Yeah. It's so creepy. I'm not bothered by... I'm ecstatic now at our place because we had the hostel move out. We used to have next door a hostel. Literally. Yeah. Yeah. Our neighborhood's nothing special, but it's also not a slum. And we had this woman that she couldn't afford the house. And so she thought, I know what I'll do. I'll buy it and then I'll just get six or seven renters. And, you know, I'll throw up sheets inside the house so that they can have like separate space. So this will be one room and that'll be one room. And if I get, you know, kids and stuff like that, they don't mind that it's a sheet that separates the room.
You know, parking garage, you know, parking lot. There was just cars everywhere. And there'd be cops there arresting people, you know, because the dude was like threatening to kill people. And, you know, wacky. She'd have wacky people move in there. It was nuts. She finally got relocated. So now we got. regular family. I walked into Mike's backyard one day and this guy leaned over the balcony and was like, hey, how far drive from here to Massachusetts? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I just came to get some Phil's barbecue and that's all I want. We're in the backyard eating barbecue and the guy literally, excuse me, I went, he was perched on his balcony. And the great thing about it was that He was on his cell phone and whoever he was talking to on the cell phone asked the question, how long does it take to get from San Diego to Massachusetts? And so he must have said, hold on a minute. Excuse me. How long does it take to get from here to Massachusetts? I don't know. I think we told him I would fly. Yeah, I wouldn't drive. Check Southwest.com.
We can't fly. I live in a room with sheet. I can't fly. He's, like, irritated. Yeah, he's furious. I can't fly. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just want these ribs and this potato salad, and that's all I came for. You're going to get to see a video that we're going to post on our Facebook page right now of a woman who finds out that her fiancé, you see it as it happens, okay? You see it as it happens. You get to see her face as it happens. What does it look like? on a woman's face when she finds out that her fiancé has fathered 74 children. You ready, Jay? I'm going to post it right now. You can post it right now. And we'll tell you what the thing is when we come back. But you can see it by going to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. 570-1949. Or text them 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming out on FM 94.9. This is Dan Tullis, and I just called Joel Clark.
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and the 805 northbound between Claremont Mesa Boulevard and Bonita Road pretty slow. This report also brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. Call 877-Wawanisa or go to wawanisaus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Good financial media station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Yeah. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. And I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. Did you know that the founder of Doritos died? Yes, I did. This guy that invented them. And the guy was from Dallas. And he was 97 years old. And the family is going to bury him in an urn inside of a box. And they're going to put the box at a local cemetery on Saturday. And they're going to let people come by and toss Doritos around the box as a tribute.
Sad and sweet. Isn't that sweet? Another sales technique. His daughter. Oh, you are such a cynic. God, he's cynical. He's so cynical. Guy invented Doritos. He loves his Doritos. All he did is contribute to the obesity of this country. So just buy a bag and you can come and spread them around. No, don't have them there. It's all designed to just sell. Oh, man. Mike. You're so dumb and naive if you don't think that ain't about a sales technique, all right? It's marketing, dummy. I'm pretty sure he didn't even die. He's faking it. Yeah, he's faking it just to sell more. Smart. Smart. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, I'm going to tell you about the latest in charger injuries in a second, but first I want to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Expressly Gourmet. They are delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants, and they are wonderful. You had them last night. Had them last night. They delivered. Rendezvous from Del Mar. Delivered that right to my doorstep. Chinese food. Freaking delicious. That's awesome. It was so good. So yeah, Expressly Gourmet is the sports sponsor today. And the Chargers have made a move. They have signed defensive lineman Tommy Harris to a one-year deal on Wednesday. And they have placed Bob Sanders on the injured reserve. Weird. He is done for the year. For the year. Do you think that he's done?
Yes. Yeah. I think he is done. There is a fundamental lack of depth on the defensive line. So, listen, the Tommy Harris move, I like it. I mean, the dude was an all-pro, freaking stud. I think he likes to get in trouble. He's a troublemaker. But, hey, some of us can make it. Some of us can turn it around. Exactly, Mike. Also, this will be good for Ella B. She's a big fan of the Dream Team, which is the Philadelphia Eagles. Come on, boy. Michael Vick has said he is 100% going to play this week against San Francisco, I believe. Is that right? Yes. Against San Francisco. Originally, they thought he had broken his non-throwing hand. It is bruised, and he said, I'm playing. So, you got a fantasy team with Mike Vick on it? Better start him, because he's in. Would you draft him? No. Zero percent. You would not draft him. Even if you had the number one pick. Oh, no. And he could give you tons of points. You know, the thing with Vic is that he plays so reckless. And he's always getting banged up. By the way, Mike, this weekend, it's the kid against Miguel in fantasy football.
Well, one of us has got to get a win. I got one. No. I'm 1-2. I beat Garrett. Oh, boy. I beat him, and you are 0-2? 0-3. 0-3. I am 1-2. It's the worst. Not like you. It's me against Mike. I'm a 17-point favorite at this point. Of course. He'll beat me, though, for sure. Will. Won't you? I'm 0-3. I know. The odds are in your favor. Should we do a bet? Should we play Ocho Cinco? Oh, boy. Yeah, I'd love to do a bet as long as I could bet on your team. Oh, okay. Like to bet on your team to win. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know how much you love fantasy football. Oh, it's not going good. It's not for you at all. You guys are cute. He's so upset. Your little game. It's no Call of Duty. Yeah, that's true. Hey, I don't pretend that it is. Are you actually fighting? Yeah, fighting with you. No, are you actually fighting in the game? Yeah, I'm fighting against other people. We're actually playing. We're not just going, hey, look, I wonder if this guy's going to do good. But we have strategy. Can I ask you a question? Has Jay been drinking apple cider vinegar before coming on the show every morning? Because he is a spunky...
This week, I think he's on his myriad. I don't know what you're talking about. Let's just pull the curtain back. Let's just do it. Let's address it. It's an elephant in the room, and we need to talk about it. We need to talk about it. He's just irritable. He's very irritable. He's getting mad at stuff that he's never gotten mad at before. He's very argumentative. He is like James Carville this week. I say left, he says right. It's right. And he says it with a little bit of spit. Yes. Well, there is that room, and then there's this room. It's always been that way. I know. But it's always my room versus your room. No, it's not. We're a team. Jay, we used to be on the same team. We used to be. I remember that. It was fun. Wipeout happened. That's it. It's it. No, you guys team up. You guys team up. And plus, a lot of times, you guys are wrong. Oh, most of the time. But we always all pile on everybody. I was a little bitchy yesterday, and I felt like I got piled on, but that's just how it is. But you've been this way for a week. Have I? Yes, Jay, you have. Well, here's the bottom line. I won't be friends. Do you? Yes, I do. What's it going to cost me? $25,000. You know, Jay, I put on your Facebook the other day, I said, if I give you a dollar a day,
For 25,000 days, will you be my friend again? No. And you said get. I want it. Listen, I want it just like I would have got it on Wipeout. I'm sorry. They take the taxes out and then I get my share. I know how it works. I wanted it too. I needed it. We went on ABC's Wipeout. Me and you. Yes, we did. We kicked some ass for a while. Yep. And we were given the opportunity of a lifetime by even being allowed on the show, all right? About 75,000 people would try it out for that show. Me and Dummy made it, all right? You and Woods. Sorry, Woods. And we went up there, and we were lucky to even be there. Then we got the chance of a lifetime. A couple other dummies broke their wrist or something. Yeah. Broke their something. One of the doctors got hurt. Yeah. Dr. Dummy. Broke his pelvis. So what do you know? Producers call us back. They say, listen, you got another shot. So I tell Tubby, I go, listen, we're going to win this thing. I thought we were too. So we go back up there and we give it our, well, I'm sorry. I give it my best shot. And then Tubby would. All he had to do was finish.
It's true. Do you understand this? It haunts me. Believe me. All he had to do was finish. I was jacked up, dude. And we'd have won $50,000. That's true. Now, you had probably had that money spent before, right? You'd put it in your budget. Can't come. Can't come. I know. I know. And I'm sorry, man. It's not my fault, though. I didn't lose it for you. Oh, yeah, you didn't. Me? Oh, yeah. You lost it because you just didn't finish, all right? You landed in the water. That wasn't her. That was me. That was Woods. And you pretended to break your ankle. I didn't pretend. But that was Woods. Pretty much accurate on this. And then we had to drive home and I had to tell Kim, guess what? We ain't getting that dirt back after all. While Woods slept in the car. While Woods was concussed in the car. Vomited. Vomited. Six times. Yeah, that's right. But you know, Jay, here's the thing. The guy. He tried. I mean, he was trying to win. Did he? He did. Did he, Mike? Did he? Yes, he did. He tried. But as you know, he has a weight issue. He had a problem knowing what was up and down. He's an idiot. All right. Now, listen, I'm going to tell you something. It's like a vertigo type situation. It's a vertigo thing. He didn't know what was up, what was down, and he went the wrong way. Listen.
National television, isn't that bad enough that he had to be embarrassed on national television? And you looked great, by the way. Thank you. I always look great. And listen, I'm going to tell you something else. What, Jay? Uh-oh. Oh, gosh. What? Oh, you are mad. Don't you ever pull the curtain back on me. I'm sorry. If you ever. But. If you ever. I know. Talk about me being. Grumpy. Or taking, making me look bad in front of my flock. Now you listen to me, boy. Jaybird. You know that? I'm going to kill you. You call him? I'm going to kill you. Call him your flock. I'm going to kill you. Uh-huh. I'm going to take your wife. No, don't do that. Don't do that. No, don't do that. Listen to me. Listen to me, Jay. Let me just try to appeal to you here. Reason with it. I'm going to reason with you. No, you listen to me. I'm listening, but listen. I just want to tell you, he tried. Who tried? Woods. He tried to win. You mean fatty, fat, fatterton? Fatterton? No. I mean Woods. I don't know Woods. All I know is fat, fat, fatterton, ankle break fake, concussion not had, money lose, fatterton. Fatterton. Concussion not had. Concussion not had. That's all I know. Listen. Yeah, you listen to me.
Are you guys having fun in this? Yes, we actually are. We actually are. We're having fun. Yes, yes. I have something to tell you. What? I've slowly been leaking laughing gas in y'all's studio. Guess what? What? After that, it's going to be lethal. Y'all just keep pushing me. I know it. I know. Keep pushing me. Is wood there? Wood is there. Wood is there, yes. I'm right here. What? Maybe you give half a crap. About Team Isbell as you do about the damn Yankees. To Jay's defense, the guy asked you to try to get in shape. I did try to get in shape. I lost 10 pounds. Jay just looked in here. You lost 10 pounds of donuts. Yes, I did lose 10 pounds. 10 pounds of donuts. Is that me in there? Yeah, you're in here. I mean, you're so beautiful. Nice to talk to you. I love you. I love you, too. I love you, me. I love you, me. I gotta go. I need my hands free to do push-ups. Thank you. Thank you very much, Jay. That was Jay on the phone. So what's your problem? Well, you even did say, Jay. You even did say, Woods goes.
Are we fighting? And you go, yeah, we're fighting. Yeah, right now we are. Right now we are. And he didn't even mean that. He meant, you know. He's at the end of his rope. Yeah. I love you guys. No, he doesn't. He's at the end of his rope. Something's happening. We have made a couple of jokes that he's been like, oh, really? How's your cries, Mike? How's your cries, Mike? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's like, holy cow. What does it matter? Have we stepped over a line with you, Jay? No. Keep it coming. All right. But expect it to come back tenfold. A hundredfold. He is a puzzle. He's a puzzle that I cannot figure out. A mystery wrapped in a riddle. That is true. He's very complicated, man. Now, I'm going to say this. This worries me a little bit. Mikey Thon is one week away. We are all locked in a room together for 28 straight hours. Towards the end of it, emotions are very high. Raw. Raw. Mount St. Isabel. Oh, my gosh. It's going to erupt. I just hope that, you know, everything goes well. Be professionals. That's right. It's all fun and games. That's right. Our phone number is 570-1949. All right, Jay, is it on our Facebook page now? Yes, sir.
Something that is now actually becoming an issue in the United States. Here's what it is. They'll pay young, healthy, good-looking men to be sperm donors. And they are. In fact, more than ever before. The deal is, though, is that a lot of times these guys, you know, they'll get married and they forget to tell their fiancé that, oh, yeah, I'm a sperm donor and I've actually fathered. Many, many children. I want to hear more about how things went with Voss and how'd it go. He was extremely surprised, to say the least. Yeah. He was like, you mean to tell me there's a little Ben running around? Is that what he said? Yeah. Oh my God. I was like, well, that's sort of what I'm getting at. But the number, at least as far as I know, is closer to 70. You've got to see the face. I guess I didn't realize how.
How many there were? Okay, so out of that 70, how many do you think have contacted you? You know, I don't know exactly. If you could quantify it. I'd say, I mean... Guess. It's probably in the 15 to 20 range. Okay. You know, obviously you've told me bits and pieces. It's probably my own fault because I haven't asked the questions along the way. But I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that... You have 50, 60, 70 biological offspring. I kind of deem that as selfish in a way. Did you think of the consequences that would come of it? I don't know. I guess I was dumb. Maybe I'm being dumb now. I don't know. Know what I didn't know? Didn't know that they could contact you. Yeah, I thought it was anonymous. Yeah, it's probably a box you check. Oh, so you check the box and say,
Yeah, you can. And then if a kid grows, now I know, I knew a girl in San Jose and she was a test tube baby. Wow. Yes. Wow. Yeah. And I said, have you ever met your biological father? And she goes, no. And I go, can you? And she said, if I want to, but I have no desire to. So now I'm remembering that. She was a test tube baby and she could have met him. Does that make that guy selfish? No. No. This is what I thought. The only thing that I thought was selfish is that I do think that maybe you disclose it. Do you? Well, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you check the box that the kid can get a hold of you, then yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, you don't want your future wife. Surprise. Hello? Yeah. Hi, my name is Susan so-and-so, and can I talk to Brad Johnson? And you're like, yeah, who's this young girl calling my husband? You're like, well, yes. Can I ask what this is about? Well, he's my dad. Right. Yeah, it's not the traditional way of, quote, fathering children. How many times do you go to the... Well, they pay you.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of guys are doing it for free, LB. You might as well get paid. You're in college, you know, and you want money. You need beer money. I gave plasma in college. Yeah. If anybody knows, by the way, how much money you get for donating sperm, call us. 570-1949. I couldn't do it. If I was able to donate sperm, I don't think I could do it. I'd do it this afternoon if the price was right. Why, LB? Knowing that there's, like, one of my little offspring out there, and I don't get to meet them. I don't think I'd have a problem with it. Not if I never know him. I mean, if I saw him and get to hang out with him, then I'd want to keep him. That's crazy. Someone with your attributes. Yeah, but you're helping. If you're helping somebody. I know, but it's... You're helping them out. I couldn't do it. Why? Because you would really want to know the person. Yeah. The kid. Yeah. If you're helping somebody that can't or whatever. I think that a lot of guys probably just block it out. Yeah. They just go, huh? Yeah, I guess you have to. Block it out. But why check the box to be contacted? That's weird. And we don't know if that's how it works. Maybe it's for health reasons they could contact you, and these people just contact you anyway. Yeah, if anybody knows, like if there's a dude listening that's done this, A, I want to know, how much do you get paid for it? And second,
I want to know, is there a box deal? And, you know, where you can go do it. Is there an age limit? Does it mean that he did that 70 times or you separate? You know what I mean? Oh, that's a good question. M1 Oside from Oside, are you there? What's up, guys? Not too much. You did this? Yeah, I used to do it a bunch when I was younger. How old were you when you did it? I started when I was about... And how did you find out about how to do it? I dug and dug and dug. It wasn't easy to find at all because most of them, you know, there's a couple facilities that were, you know, they wouldn't give you the information correctly. And they were kind of shady. It took me a while to actually do some research. So you did research, found the place, and how much did it pay? I got between $5.00 and $8.50 a pop. Wow. Now, LOB brings up a good point. Do you... Donate one time? And that one donation can father many children? Or did you go back? Technically, yeah. One donation can father hundreds, potentially. Then why would they even need you to go back? Because the testing that they do and the procedures that they have to go through are so expensive and time-consuming. It's a full organization. It's like working in any lab.
You know, and unfortunately, you know, the work that they do with like lab animals, you know, they go through many, many, many animals to have one success depending on what they're testing. There you go. Did a woman check you in? That's the question. What do you mean a woman checking in? Like when you went there, was there a woman working the front desk? Well, you can't discriminate the company. There's women and men everywhere. Well, yeah, but I'm just asking with your specific experience. Was it awkward? Was it awkward? Was there a woman working the front desk? There wasn't a hot Playboy playmate waiting at the door, no. I'm just asking if there was a woman to see if it was awkward, like, yes, I'm going back there, and we know what's going to happen. Oh, yeah, probably, though. A lot of women, sure. But I'll tell you, I didn't do it here in San Diego. I was in a demographic where there was a higher pay rate because this wasn't very common and acceptable. I'll bet out here in San Diego you probably wouldn't get half of what I got.
You know, you're probably getting a bunch of college kids out here. They're getting like, you know, 80, 90, 200 bucks a pop. I have no idea. So if you're in Oklahoma. I got paid well. Yeah, I would be retired in the south of France. That's right. Had I known where that clinic was. Yeah, you'd be living in cans. There's no question. On a yacht. M1 Vanessa from Hillcrest. Yes. Go ahead. My husband donated for a long time in L.A. And he got $75 per. Donation? Still not bad. What corner was he working? He could do it every other day. Oh, yes. Every other day. If you give information and fill out forms and get a physical, you get paid for everything you do. My goodness. Guys, clear like $300 a week. Yeah. Now, do you know Vanessa if he had to check a box? By the way, that's a job.
He basically had a job. There's no question. Yeah, you know, he had a job. Now, my question to you is, do you know that if there was a box that he could check to be contacted later by the child? Yes. He put no. Oh, my goodness. Now, if you're just tuning in, we're talking about sperm donation, which you just heard a clip of a woman that found out for the very first time, oh, my soon-to-be husband. Check the box. Yes, I could be contacted. And he'd been contacted by about 12 kids. And he had donated to about 75 different children to be made offspring from his sperm. 570-1949. Thanks for the call, Vanessa. And we want to hear from you. If you've ever done this, if you've ever been a sperm donor, how much money did you make doing it? And how often?
We probably had lots of questions for you. 570-1949. Slip inside. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, If it weren't for him, who knows where I'd be today. Go to FM949SD.com and tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes. Made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM949. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Dave and Busters. You know, I was at Dave and Busters on Monday and had an absolute blast. I played, I don't know.
50 rounds of basketball. We were shooting hoops. We were having a good time. We were eating. I had these sliders there that are on Hawaiian bread. They are outstanding. The food at Dave & Buster's is something you need to try. Their menu is awesome. The drinks are great. The games are so much fun. They've got state-of-the-art games. I don't know if you've ever heard of a game called Silent Scope, but your boy played that for about 45 minutes straight. It's absolutely... The most fun place you can have. And listen, I'm a 36-year-old man. I walk in there. I'm like a little kid. I'm going to be there on Sunday from 1 to 3 for the Charger-Miami game, hopefully. We are going to be watching football regardless. There's going to be other games on that aren't blacked out. So hopefully the Chargers play. But listen, it's Dave and Buster's. It's in Mission Valley. Come down Sunday and hang out with me. Games are on me, man. I will take care of your games. We will play hoops against each other, the quarterback challenge, the whole thing. I'm going to be giving stuff away. It's Dave and Buster's Mission Valley. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood.
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You just say something like, hey, Stavros, would you mind if I joined you on your run tomorrow morning? Most likely he'd love the company. Your workout buddy could be just about anybody. It could be a Tracy. It could be a Lisa. It could even be a Carla or a Keisha or a Maria. Why not invite all three of them out for lunch where you all get something light and healthy and split the dessert? Because you know you want to. And who says you only have to have one buddy? You could go running with Stavros and lunching with Tracy and Carla and Maria. You could do Pilates with Beth. You could lift weights with Andreas. You and Julio could quit smoking. The list goes on and on. The more you and your buddy help each other, the more you help yourself. Because at Kaiser Permanente, we think that working together is the best way to thrive. Find your buddy at kp.org slash thrive. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act. Fortunately, Cricket Wireless helps keep things in control with a cool smartphone like the Sanyo Zayo by Kyocera for under $100. And the best part is Cricket's great unlimited plan with talk, text, and data for only $55 a month, way less than those other guys, and an awesome price for a smartphone. The Zayo's perfect for keeping up with friends and family on Facebook, Google Maps to get around, and has access to tons of other apps.
So do yourself a favor and get the Android-powered XIO for $99.99 with no contracts or hidden fees, plus unlimited talk, text, and data for just $55 a month. Visit a Cricut store or mycricut.com today. So smart, so Cricut. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricut's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. Get the Huawei Ascend 2 Android smartphone at Cricut for $99.99 after mail-in offer. Plus a great plan for only $55 a month with no contract. Visit a Cricut store today. Oktoberfest is a celebration of the harvest. It turns into one of the biggest celebrations of the year as millions flock to Munich. Since Munich is halfway around the world, join FM 94.9 and Beck's Beer at Rocktoberfest. October 22nd, 30th in University in North Park. Celebrate your harvest, or new job, or oil change. Check out live music from Everest. The soft path, the style tone, and more.
Fill up on all kinds of German food and wash it down with a German beer like Vex Oktoberfest, a classic German beer that's amber in color with hints of caramel and toasted nut. It's only available from now through October. There's hundreds of Oktoberfests, but only one Rocktoberfest. So join the party October 22nd in North Park and celebrate every day with Vex Oktoberfest. Available for a limited time. For Oktoberfest tickets or details, go to FM949SD.com. This is it, the Built Ford Tough sales event. And in this corner, the undisputed champion Ford F-Series, America's best-selling trucks for 34 years and counting. Buy a new F-150 SuperCrew now and get a $1,000 trade-in bonus plus zero APR for 60 months. That's right, zero APR plus a $1,000 bonus on top of what your trade is worth. Between all that cash and no-charge financing, we're talking about a serious one-two knockout punch. Learn more at SanDiegoCountyFord.com. Then see your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer. Don't miss the Built Ford Tough Sales event. Ford, built for San Diego. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford credit financing. 60 months at $16.67 per month for $1,000 financed regardless of down payment. Excludes Raptor. $1,000 trade in bonus cash available to customers who trade in a 1996 or newer car, truck, or SUV.
Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 1031.11. This report is brought to you by the Port of San Diego. Come down to the Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier. Attend Fall for the Arts this Saturday. Enjoy free performances and exhibits. For more information, visit TheBigBay.com. On the 67 southbound Rancho Maria Lane, an injury accident in Ramona. It's about three cars. They're blocking all the southbound lanes. The 94 westbound before Federal Boulevard, a two-car crash. You're backed up to the 125. Looks like there are injuries here as well. And the 5 northbound before Delmar Heights Road, an injury accident. There's a whole bunch of debris in the roadway. And it looks like the number one lane is blocked right now. This report brought to you by Allstate. Get any quote, you'll not only get a free lifetime membership in Good Hands Road. assistance. For a limited time, your first tow will be free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird, Bird Sirshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning brought to you by Bulky Boys Clothing Line. Today we're seeing a solid increase in swell that North Northwest were filled in pretty well over the evening last night.
Some southwest, some southeast out there at the same time, too. Total combination of surf is up waist, chest high, shoulder high ways, even a few head high plus, that way is at the standout spots on occasion. Going through some radical tide swings this morning from an almost negative low earlier on to a six-foot-plus high tide at around 10.30, 11. That will obviously have an effect on size and shape. Beach breaks, some pick-and-choose quarters right now, some outwelled up, but definitely some open, workable faces. That could improve some at the higher tide. Beach breaks are going to slow down. for the most part, at that same high tide. Some of those spots that are open to that fullness, though, will be pretty good. Not much wind right now, cloudy skies, and water temperature is cold. So surf's up, and day game's on. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Oh, my God. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Woods. Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... MJ. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Michael Jackson trial is going on, you know. Yesterday we were playing audio of...
Michael Jackson, that was a trip, man, that came out in court. And it didn't sound like anything you've ever heard Michael Jackson sound like. It was inaudible. Didn't sound like any human you've ever heard. No. I mean, you know, I think the weirdest part about it was, is that his voice, because he was so drugged up, was deep. Yes. And you'd never hear Michael Jackson. It was like, like that. It was weird. Anyway, we were talking about people. that if you've ever donated sperm, because this is becoming an issue in American culture right now. The issue is some guys, when they are sperm donors, will check, yes, I can be contacted by the kid that's made from this sperm. And they are being contacted. Well, a lot of these guys, they did that back in college. Now they're married. Their wives are getting these phone calls. Wait a minute. You got 75 kids? Yeah, it's not what you think, though, hon. What are you talking about? It's not what you think, hon. 570-1949. This is M1 Sergio from Chula Vista. Sergio, you've not donated, but you have a question about what we were talking about. Yeah, man, I haven't donated, but I got a couple kids of my own. I just think it's wrong to be going out and doing this kind of stuff. I mean, you say it's not selfish, but how can I not be selfish?
getting paid and you're using the money for your psychology party. Well, I guess my question to you is what's the selfish part if they're being paid to help somebody? But does that matter? Oh, I agree with that. I agree with that. But let's say that somebody can't have a kid. Like me and my wife. I understand. I understand what you went through with. Why is that selfish? You know what? These kids are going to grow up wondering who their dad is. Not necessarily, because I may be their dad. When you're getting paid for something you're doing and... I gave plasma in college. I gave plasma and that helped somebody and I also got money.
So that I could, in fact, go bar hopping. But it was, you know, I helped them. They helped me. So, you know, all these kids that are being born aren't only born to single moms. I mean, they're born to families. And they've got family that's going to love them and raise them. Why do they need a bank? When you're having a bunch of kids, man, 60, 70 kids, that's just a little too much. You're having too many Octomoms out there. Oh, yeah. He's a very horny guy, maybe. He's a very horny guy. Very horny guy. Want to get paid. Guy made six figures off that deal. Okay, well, we have a bunch of Jared Loeffners out there donating, and you don't know what kind of kid is growing up. It's a true story. Don't they? And see, that's why I'm asking for people to call, because I don't know what the process is. I don't know if they... That's my opinion, bro. I understand. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's fine. It's fine. Thank you, Sergio. Do they have a bank of them so that when couples want a surrogate and stuff like that, you get to choose? Like, I want a brown haired? Absolutely. Yeah, in fact, the girl that I knew, her name is Erin, the girl that I knew in San Jose that was a test tube baby, her mom got to pick all the stuff. She said that her dad, her biological father, went to UCLA. Knew how tall he was. She was really tall. So she does know her mom then.
Oh, yeah. Her mom couldn't have a kid and went to a sperm bank and had her egg put into a test tube. And then she got to pick. Her mom got to pick who the dad would be. And she chose a UCLA student. He was going to UCLA. He was super tall, very handsome. And this girl, Erin, is really tall, too. How do they do it? I mean, you say a test tube. Was it an actual, some kind of, I mean, isn't it? I don't know. See, when I think test tube, baby, I think, like, you take an egg donor, you take a sperm donor, and then you don't even, like, you raise the kid through science, not like an actual mother that wanted to eat. Did this go in the mother? I don't think so. Then she's not a test tube. Test tube is created in a tube. Yeah, she didn't go in the mom. There's an actual test tube. Oh, she didn't go in the mom. No. She didn't go on the mom. She was created in a lab. In a lab. Okay, that is 100% test tube. Yeah. In fact, she said she was one of the first to have been a test tube kid. Wow, wow, wow, wow. It's crazy that we can do that. That is crazy. Outside of the womb. When we go into commercial, I'll show you her on Facebook. Does she look like a tube?
She looks like a tube. Like Beaker from the Muppet Babies? Well, she's very tall. Cylindrical? Cylurgical? Cylindrical. Yes, she's cylindrical. Good job, by the way. Translucent. Skinny head. Yeah, like a tube. 570-1949 is the number. Let's see. This person's sister used... donor specimens, they call it. They know the language and everything. M1 Chemistry is on the line from San Clemente. Hey, guys. Hi. Yeah, when I was in grad school, I had a buddy who was donating. He was getting about, I think he was getting like $150, $200 a pop per donation. And, you know, they wanted people with advanced education and stuff like that. So when I... Talked to my then-girlfriend, who's now my wife, about doing it. She's like, you know, there's no way I want a bunch of little ewes running around that aren't mine. Fair enough. So, yeah, I didn't even think about that. I was like, I need money. I'm not making any money in grad school. You know, we're barely able to pay rent. So, yeah, I never got to do it. And I'm glad I didn't because I have a daughter now. And I don't know how it would be to have a bunch of her half-siblings running around that we don't know. It's just a trip because, you know, I think most of us dudes,
we're thinking about it from the woman's point of view for the first time right now. I'm like, oh yeah, I guess it would bother her, you know? Me? What's that? Yeah. Yeah, so basically they just, so your test tube person, I don't know if she lives with her biological mom or not. Yeah, she does. Okay, yeah, so what they do, they harvest the eggs, usually the same day that the sperm donation's done. They take the sperm, they clean it up so that it's more likely to fertilize the egg. Wait, what does that mean? They clean it up so that it's more likely to fertilize the egg. They polish it. Yeah, they rinse it, and they kind of soup it up. I don't know the exact process. I'm not a biologist. I'm a chemist. But I know they clean it with certain fluids. Lysol. Yeah, exactly. They use Lysol, maybe Pledge, to get it shiny. Pledge.
Tiny little brush. Yes, tiny brush. Some Windex. They'll centrifuge them. And they even have, nowadays, they have means where they can even separate out the good sperms from the bad sperm. I've heard of that. I've heard of that. Yeah, and then they fertilize it, and then basically three to five days after fertilization, they're able to transfer them back into the woman. And, you know, there's other things they can do with that plant. But what if the woman is barren and she can't carry a child? Well, they can probably go through a surrogate, which is also not uncommon. Even though she can't, doesn't she still produce an egg? No. No. Some of them can't produce eggs. Some can, some can. Depends on, is it just the uterus that's not good? It's your fallopian tubes. Exactly. There's all kinds of different... I don't know anything about how they... Really? Does that freak you out? It's medical. Yeah, I know, but why does that... I mean, is it gross to you? Because I'm six. I'm six years old. Well, but even when I was a kid, that stuff didn't grow. Does it gross you out? The word uterus, fallopian tubes, all of it. What about vas deferens? Wait, wait, wait. Woodsy. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So, because now I'm fascinated. Woodsy is like I'm looking at him under a microscope. What about words like liver or kidney? No. Those don't. We all have them.
But vas deferens, that's guys. That's a wiener. It's on the wiener, I think. Yeah, it's guys. So it freaks you out. Okay. I'm just learning. I'm figuring out my buddy Woodsy. What about sweat gland? That doesn't bother me. The word gland bothers me a little bit. Lymph node. Lymph node is bothersome. We're all grown up little kids. So it freaks them out. Oh, that's hilarious. Foreskin freaks me out. Well, yeah. I would be interested in knowing, because even though I'm 41, I don't know how all that stuff works. They didn't tell you like when you were. I could show you. Like I paid attention. Fair enough. Please. Fair enough. And no, Jay. I know how the woman parts work more than the man parts. The man parts is pretty easy. Yeah. I want to know how all that works. Because apparently I don't. 570-1949. My wife, Rebecca, she wants us to do something called spinning. They take. my sperm and spin it and it separates the girls from the boys. Yeah. She wants to have a girl. Do it. Nope. Do it. Nope. Baby girl. Baby girl. Baby girl. Those boys, your boys, your three boys will protect her. Oh. It will be, it will melt your heart. Oh my gosh. Just do it. Dad, can you make me a story, daddy? You know what? You do it for me. You know what? Because I can't. You do it for me. You do it for me. No, thank you.
And you know what, L.O.B., that cute baby talk from a daughter doesn't do it. No, it would. Nothing does. When you saw her cute little face look just like a mini Rebecca. She looked like a little mini Rebecca with blonde hair. A little Rebecca running around. You know, guys, honestly, it's the same bit that I said to you the other day. They poop and they scream. What I wouldn't give. Man. What I wouldn't give. What he wouldn't give. What I wouldn't give just a year. You're crazy, Mikey. I don't think he would love it. To have that baby reach up and grab this finger and hold it and look into my eyes. That's special. That's special, Woods. However, the times that would drive you crazy would drive you personally. There's no question, but it's all part of the ride, man. And that is the fun part, is the ride. It's the ride. It's the whole deal. I, last night, Skyped with my brother. I FaceTimed. And so I hit FaceTime. He answers. And all it is, the full screen, is my nephew, Oliver, kicked back with his double chin and his full head of black hair and his boobs and his gut, just like his uncle, kicked back just grinning from ear to ear. And I was like, well, son of a gun. I got to get this done. I got to get it done.
Yeah, and I'm sure they're going to poop. They're going to poop on me. Well, yeah, they're going to poop. Definitely going to poop. Are you sure they have to? They have to poop. They're going to do more than that. You know what they're going to do sometimes too? No, besides that. Vomit. No, how about we don't guess? Sometimes they're going to bring home the flu, which is fun. I know. Just like in here. Sometimes they're going to get the flu. That's a blast. Sometimes they're going to step up to the plate and they're going to hit a ball out of the ballpark. And you're going to be in the stands going. I taught you how to do that. And there's, well, not me, but there is, let's say, Uncle Woods taught you that. Uncle Woods taught you how to do that. But I will say this. You're right about all of those things, and they're wonderful, wonderful moments. I'm just content. I'm content. Very, very, very content. So content. I'm so, so content. So content. You feel like you're getting out of the woods on some icky stuff. Yeah. With the ages that they're at. You ready to. Yeah. Kick back, hang out. Just one more little girl. I'm ready for us to throw the diaper genie out. You hate that diaper genie. That's not a strong enough word. I don't think that's a strong enough word. You loathe it. Detest. I loathe the diaper genie. It keeps you up at night. It probably invades your mind. I have nightmares about the diaper genie.
And the door opens up. It's a diaper genie. Just the hallway from The Shining. The diaper genie is flapping its lid open. Hello, Mikey. Come play with us. The door opens up. It's a diaper genie. Sitting there. Just filled with poop. What is it saying? Oh, boy. Keep it away. Keep the diaper genie out of here. Oh, gosh. Stop it. Leave me alone. Very content. Come on. Come on. Nothing about it. Hopefully Rebecca won't have an accident. How dare you, Jay? What a monstrous thought. If, well, if my wife ever... Babe, don't you get any ideas? Accidents feel real good. Any contraceptive device is not 100% proof. That's right. You know what? She would never do that. You know why? She would never take a chance that it would be another boy. Yeah, that's true. If we ever have another kid, the only way she would ever do it is if it was a girl. Because we've got three boys. The only way she would ever do it is if she could be sure it was a girl. And that means that we'd have to do that spin thing.
We're very content. We're very content. We're very content. Well, don't say we. We're very content. You are. I am very content. I am very content. Let's see. M1, Linda from Marietta is on the line. Hi, Linda. I almost called you Marietta. Linda, are you there? Linda. Please, please let my phones work. I beg of you. What'd you do to them? M1, Brian from PB. Are you there? Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good. I used to work back east, back outside Boston. There used to be a cryobank that was based next door. There was a huge application. Go on their website, fill it out. They ask you height, weight, college degree. A few weeks later, get a response saying that they did not accept my application based on how tall I was.
Oh, wow. How tall are you? Three. They want a taller of 5'9". Of course. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to go on my lunch break, have a nice real lunch break, get paid for it, and three weeks later, they don't like me. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to either. I'm 5'6 on a tall day. So, yeah, it wouldn't work. It'll be all right. Yeah, you would be fine, Woods. Yep. So would I, Mike. Everybody but you. Yep, if the three of us decided that we were going to go donate, two of us would be great candidates. You could drive us. Yeah, mate. You'd be a good driver. Or you can garden us. Here's what you could do, mate. You could swim us. You could swim us. You could garden us. You could certainly eat us. You could burrow us. What's that? Burrow us. Yeah, you could burrow us. Tortilla us. Yep, you could do all those things, mate. Fajita us. Enchilada us.
You can smear us all up in mole. Oh, look at me. I'm loco. M1 Linda from Marietta is back in the line. Are you there, Linda? Are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. Your sperm. It's just going against what's right. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. What do you mean? I don't understand. Well, the thing is, if you're doing something that you're... That's not naturally the way to go. I think there might be problems, and I think that you're going against something that is against nature. Okay, well, wait a minute. Now, Linda, how old are you? I'm 43. Now, do you have any children? I have two boys, 15 and 17, and my 17-year-old is autistic. Okay, now let me ask you a question. Yes. And it's a personal question. That's okay. Have you ever used birth control?
I did from 13 to 23. And then you stopped using birth control. Yes. And you've never used birth control since 23 years of age. Let's see. No, there was a year that I did. And then, unfortunately, I had some problems after my second child. And then I had to have a hysterectomy. Okay. So then you didn't need birth control. No, I haven't needed it. Okay. Well, when you did use birth control. Tell me what part of the birth control was natural. Okay, yes. Valid point. Valid point. But that's also birth control, I think, is also being responsible and not bringing a baby into the world before you're ready to have it. Well, that may be true, but it also is not. It ain't nature. So you can't have it both ways, which, by the way, is what.
I'm not going into any kind of weird scientific thing where I'm putting my eggs into some kind of little, I don't know, container for somebody to poke and mess with them. Yeah, maybe you're not, but the bottom line is it ain't nature. It ain't nature. And if we're going to use the nature debate, then it can't just work when it's convenient for you. Which, by the way... No, and I appreciate that. I totally appreciate that. I'm just thinking that if you're going to try to alter something, you know, that you're purposely meaning to do, that you want to have this girl. And, of course, I don't know why this just came into my head, but that movie Splice. Oh, yeah, in Splice. If you want to do, I mean, then it goes into that whole weird cloning kind of weird thing. I don't know. I just don't think it's right. I had a friend who wanted to do that. She has three boys, and then she looked into it, and her husband's sperm had to be shipped off somewhere, and then she thought, no, that's just, that was too weird for her. Then it was like she was uncomfortable with what was going to come back. Yeah, well, my wife is not uncomfortable. She wants a girl. I see your point, though. I do, too. There's a difference between stopping.
fertilization and genetically re-engineering things. Yeah, and it's like we just did a story last week where sperm donors are turning down redheads because people don't want to adopt redheads anymore. It's like, where will we stop? We're changing the course of... Well, they just don't want to... They're not red-haired. Right. So we're going to eradicate all redheads? No! Yes! In that regard... You may eradicate them from the sperm donor world. That's it. That's what I'm saying. But that's not an issue because the people that are getting them, they got dark hair. You can't help it if there's no demand. There's no demand. Exactly. There's just no demand. The point should be, I think, that you shouldn't always get to handpick what kind of kid you want. I mean, my wife and I who are going through this stuff, man, we'll take. We'll take anything. At this point, we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's exactly what you should be able to do. What? You should be able to exactly go in. If you can't have a baby of your own for some reason, you should be able to go in and say, I want something as close to who I am as possible so that the kid's like, hey, is that your redheaded kid? Yeah. You don't look like that. Yeah. I mean, being a parent is more than just looks. I know, dude, but are we so politically correct now that we're...
We're somehow being judged if we actually have the audacity to want a child that's white. I had to fill all that stuff up. You don't want an Indian baby? How dare you? How dare you? You racist. I had to do it. I had to check. Nope. Nope. Nope, nope. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, there is. I'm a monster. Wait, wait, wait. Hold it. I want to talk about this. So when we get back, L-O-B, I want to hear it. We'll be back. By the way, you got thoughts on it. 570-1949. The Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text them. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. If you like exciting low prices on groceries, the Vaughn Circular is fresh off the presses with some of the hottest deals in town. It's your guide to fantastic Vons Club specials at Vons, plus amazing deals for this weekend only. So plan for the weekend and the week ahead. To give you an idea of the kind of deals we're talking about, check out these outstanding Vons Club specials. It's our mix and match event.
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Let's see. Let's see. Don't freak out today. There's going to be a noise alert because they're practicing for an air show at Miramar. So you're going to hear a little bit of noise. And I don't want everybody going, oh, no, are we being invaded? We're not. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, mercifully for the Padres, their season is over. But they did go out with a bang last night. They won 9-2. Wade LeBlanc, seven really crisp, nice innings. They had a grand slam and a three-run homer. It's like, oh, well, about time. About time, fellas. Just in time. They finished with a 71-91 record.
Unfortunately, don't expect to see a whole lot of change next year either. And also, this is pretty sad. There's a book coming out called Sweetness, The Enigmatic Life of Walter Payton. And this guy, Jeff Perlman, who wrote the book, is about to expose a really dark side of Walter Payton that we never would have known. That he was addicted to drugs, always threatened suicide. I don't need to know that. Abusive to his wife, etc., etc. I don't either. And I don't want to. And now I do. Why? It sucks. Oh, now you know is what you're saying. Just even the hint of it, I'm like. I don't want to know. Walter, just keep it, you know, dude. I thought, as soon as I heard the story on the radio yesterday, I was listening, I go, damn it. Now I'm going to have to read the excerpts. I'm going to have to because I'm a sports fan. Before we went to commercial break, I said, we're getting to the point. where we are such a politically correct culture that now we're somehow bad if we're a white person and we want a white baby. It's somehow looked at as bad. If we're a person and we can't have kids and we're looking at a thing here and it says, would you...
accept an Indian child? And you put no. Would you accept an African American child? No. Hispanic child? No. If you only want a white kid, we are now being viewed at as that's like politically correct or it's bad. But what were you going to say? Okay. I was going to say there's a big difference between when you're going through an adoption process where that that option is there and it's already going to have to be. a difficult discussion to have with that child. And it's going to be an adjustment depending on how old the baby is or how old the child is. And I saw the movie Raising Isaiah or something like that. Losing Isaiah. And the whole thing there was like, the lesson was, most importantly, it's good for the child to have love. But the little boy was a black boy. She was a white woman that wanted him. And there are some differences where sometimes, you know, it would be easier. to have a kid with an identifiable parent of that race. I think there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But when you and Rebecca are going to have a kid, there's only a few possibilities. The kid's going to identify with you guys because they're going to be biologically yours. They're going to look like you. But to sit there and be like, well, I think that Luke's cuter. So the next kid that I have, I want him to have green eyes.
I want him to be slender. I want him to have blonde hair and to pick and choose. I think you're just messing with it. And where do you start drawing the line? Okay, here's my question for you. Do you think it's wrong, though? Do you think it's wrong if you're white and you only want a white kid? No, I don't think it's wrong. It is. I don't think it's wrong. It is. It is. I'm the only one in this room. that has had to fill that questionnaire out. You did it. And I did it, and I didn't want to do it. But I felt and feel like a monster when I had to write, no, I don't want a child with special needs. No, I don't want an Indian child. Why is that wrong? No, I don't want an Asian child. Because it makes me a... Okay, let me just offer you this, Woods. Beggars can't be choosers, pal. Oh, boy. A guy's on the corner and he wants the food. I give him pizza. He goes, I don't want pizza. I want a hamburger. Well, feast, pal. You're hungry. You haven't eaten. Okay, fine. Here's the deal. If he says, if you say, hey, you want a piece of pizza? And he says, no, I want a hamburger. Okay, fine. You don't give him the pizza. You don't give him the pizza. Right. You don't give him the pizza. And if you don't feel like giving the guy a hamburger, that's fine. Now, if you do feel like giving him a hamburger, sweet.
Okay, but this is my thought on it. If you're a person that can't have kids and you decide you want to adopt a black kid, that's great. That's really cool. I don't think, by the way, that you're any more special because you did it. Right. Okay. There's a band that I like called Third Day. Lead singer. He adopted a black kid. Cool. And he's white. Yeah. Cool. I don't think to myself, oh, how altruistic of you. No. I don't think to myself, oh, how incredibly progressive you are. I don't. I go, you adopted a kid, okay? And if he had adopted a white kid, I wouldn't have thought any different than that. Right. I just think that we're in this day and age where you are, I do believe that culturally you are assigned. some sort of virtue because you've adopted a kid of a different race. I believe it. I don't necessarily believe that. A Nigerian kid? No. Wait a minute. A Haitian kid? You don't think, LLB, I'm just going to get the statement out and then you say, nope, I don't believe that. Okay. You do not believe that our culture assigns virtue to someone that is white and adopts a black child. No. Absolutely not.
I say depending on where they're from, and I really believe this. I really believe that if you adopt an American black child, it's not as altruistic and good, in quotes, as if you adopt a kid from Haiti. If you adopt a kid from Haiti or Nigeria or something like that, it is, oh, wow. I disagree completely. Look what they did. I disagree completely because look at the process that Woods has gone through. And it makes no sense to me because there are so many kids that are in... You're not allowed to call them foster homes anymore. I don't know what. Just foster homes. Foster homes. I don't know. They're in, like, the adoption process. And there's so much red tape that you've got plenty of kids right here in the U.S. that can't be given out or adopted out or whatever the right word is to families that want them, that are going to love them. So a lot of people have to go to other countries. And they're like, I don't care if you're black, white. Whatever. Yellow, whatever. I just want to be a parent. And I just want to raise a child. And so there's a lot of people that go elsewhere. And I'm not. There's the other thing I don't think is cool. If anybody ever says there's a lot of kids here that need adopting. Why are you going and adopting a kid from Africa or Haiti? My answer to that is those are your papers. Why don't you keep your eyes on them? Yeah. Watch your own. Eat what's on your plate. Yeah. And.
Here's another thing. Let's say that I'm helping to feed some kids in Haiti. And you'll hear people go, you know, there's a lot of hungry kids in this country. And why aren't you feeding them first? My response to them is, are you feeding kids here in America? How's your soup kitchen? Is it good? You got a soup kitchen? No. Maybe their answer to that question is, yes, actually, I am. My response to that would be, good for you. Guess what, then? You're doing what has your name on it. You know what's got your name on it? Feeding kids in New Orleans. Super. You're a New Orleans feeder. Guess who I am? I'm an 80 feeder. You know, it's so funny, man. You're probably going to look at me like I'm nuts, but really there is a correlation. I have seven dogs, okay?
Four of them, four of them we rescued. Yeah. Rescued. Yeah. Three of them we bought. Yeah. Paid for. Yeah. Good money for. A lot. Yeah. And people look, when they know that, they look at you and they're like, freaking, you bought that at Petco? Oh, good for you. Puppy mill supporter? Like, they look at you when we have the three ones that we bought, like, from a lady, you know, on the internet. They're like, oh, my God. They look at you with disdain. Oh, dude. With disdain. They see three Yorkies. They're like, do you know how many dogs are in a shelter right now that could, you know, that aren't? Sorry, they're not Yorkies. People get insane. Jamie has gotten, like, talked to by people before when she's been out walking. They're like, you know, there's dogs in shelters that need saving, too. We're like, yeah, we've got four of them, you D. Yeah, that's the deal. Well, even if you didn't. Even if I didn't. Let's say that you didn't have any. And let's say that you, all of your dogs.
were the Yorkies that you got. The answer to that is, well, this animal's life is no less important. It's still in our hands, and we still love him, and we still take care of him. We used to get looks when we would go to the front of the line with Jake because he's autistic. And people that didn't have autistic kids would get pissed. And they would give a look like, why do you get to go to the front of the line? just because your kid is autistic. And my answer to that is, you know, your normal kid is no more important in this world than my autistic kid. So don't give me looks, because it goes both ways. It goes both ways. Absolutely. You know, I mean, oh my goodness. That is an argument that's a tough one. 570-1949. M1 Kim.
From Paradise Hills. You there? Yes, I am. Hi, go ahead. What was your point? Well, one of the things I wanted to say is I don't remember whose voice it was. I heard it say this, but somebody said beggars can't be choosers. Woodsy. And, you know, when you're going through the adoption process, I wouldn't say you're begging because you're paying a lot of money to go through that process. So I think you have every right to choose the child that your family is going to be comfortable with. Sure. Because the more comfortable you are with that child, the more comfortable your child's going to be. I get that. I totally get that. And, you know, my experience has been a very different one in the fact that, you know, we were a week away from getting our child and she changed her mind. And, you know, all that money we spent, we lost. So at this point, we feel like beggars. We are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you got, you know. So it's, you know. Every situation is different. And I feel like a beggar. I feel like one right now. And I feel like we'll take whatever we get. Thank you for the call. If anybody knows somebody and they are having a kid that they weren't planning on and they want to give the kid up for adoption, we got a guy here that's more than willing.
Adopt that child. We got a whole nursery. We got it sitting in a shed. That's right. Just waiting. So the other day we were talking about Andy Rooney stuff since Andy Rooney passed away. No. He did? No. Wasn't it that he passed? Oh, no. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He didn't pass away. I made an error. I just said something that was... I misspoke. Now he will, though. Gosh. 100%. Just killed him. He's not on 60 Minutes anymore. He retired. Darn. Just like being dead. He retired, not expired. I just felt like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. And you guys were a mob with torches. Get out! My face dropped. He did? No, he didn't. I plead with you to forgive me. Just forget. We were making fun of him yesterday. Yeah, that's exactly what I did to Gary Coleman. Now, you did kill Gary Coleman. He did. That morning I made a joke. And it happened with two people back to back. It was Gary Coleman.
I don't remember the other person, but he says a joke about Gary Coleman. I text him, I'm not kidding you, five hours later, and I go, guess who just passed away? Anyway, Andy Rooney is alive and well, and here he is talking about how he doesn't get art. There are a lot of know-nothing boobs who don't appreciate the modern art being put up in public places in all our cities. Can we bring that back? Boobs. Somebody's a dopey. They're boob. Boob. You boob. I know this is true because I'm one of those know-nothing boobs. When did bright-colored plastic cows, pigs, and rabbits get to be art? I don't like most of the stuff passing for art, and it's everywhere. This was done to honor Martin Luther King. It's called I've Been to the Mountain. Well, I'm an admirer of everything Martin Luther King stood for, but I don't think he would have stood for this. I'll bet that Andy Rooney is just irritated about every new thing that comes. If he goes to Amazon.com, he probably loses his mind. Oh, yeah. By the way, in case you didn't know it, did you hear about Amazon.com's big announcement yesterday? I did not. Well, I was wondering why Amazon stock seemed to be soaring through the roof.
And when I say soaring, I mean like just leaps and bounds every day. Well, the reason is because they have a plan. And the plan is as follows. This is from Jeff Bezos. He's their CEO and founder. He keeps it real simple. He says, dear customer, there's two types of companies. Those that work hard to charge customers more and those that work hard to charge customers less. Both approaches can work. We are firmly in the second camp. We're excited to announce four new products. The all-new Kindle for only $79. Two new Touch Kindles, Kindle Touch, Kindle Touch 3G for $99. And $149. And a new class of Kindle called the Kindle Fire. A beautiful...
Full color Kindle for movies, TV shows, music, books, magazines, apps, games, web browsing, and a whole lot more for $199. Wow. So, and he says, these are high-end products, the best Kindles we've ever made. Kindle and Kindle Touch have the most advanced e-ink display technology available. And the 3G Kindle Touch adds free 3G wireless. No monthly fees, no annual contracts. Kindle Fire brings everything we've been working on at Amazon for 15 years together into a single, fully integrated experience for customers. Instant access to Amazon's massive selection of digital content, a vibrant color. touchscreen with extra wide viewing angles and 14.6 ounces. It's a state-of-the-art dual-core processor, free storage in Amazon Cloud, and an ultra-fast mobile browser. It's called Amazon Silk. And it's available exclusively on Kindle Fire. We're building premium products and offering them at non-premium prices. Thanks for being a customer.
Jeff Bezos. And they got pictures of it. It's a pretty cool looking little device. Looks like an iPad. Only it's a lot lighter. You can hold it in one hand. Wow. And it's $199, which is a lot different from $800, which is what you pay for a brand new iPad. Does it make you sad that it's not an Apple product? Nope. Not at all. I would have gotten that email had they not canceled my account. Now, L-O-B. Hang on a minute. I don't know what kind of crazy German pornography you look at. Only girl on girl. You and me both. Something happened. They don't want to own up to it. Cancel my account. On that note. When we come back, we're going to play a brand new game that L.O.B. came up with. And it's called, Are They Real or Fake? Nope. It's not that. It's not what you think. We need three callers. 570-1949. And what you're going to do is you're going to pick a horse.
Woods, or Jay? And L.O.B. is going to give us some facts about herself, and we have to decide whether or not they are real or fake. 570-1949. Or text 9finky at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 9 concert calendar. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday night, two good ones. You can go see Portugal the Man at House of Blues or Peter Bjorn and John at the Belly Up. Sunday night, Erasure are at House of Blues. Misfits play their Monday the 3rd with Agent Orange. Next week on the 6th, see Blink-182 at Cricket Wireless or Blitz and Trapper with Dawes at the Belly Up on the 9th. And October 10th, it's an FM 94.9 about the music show with the pains of being pure at heart. That's at the Belly Up. And still to come,
Dropkick Murphys, Ryan Adams, Bring on the Bright Lights presents Cut Copy, The Naked and Famous, Manchester Orchestra, City and Color, Company of Thieves, and Dinosaur Jr. with an appearance by Henry Rollins. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Listen, AT&T GoPhone is the bomb. This thing is great. Why? Because it's so inexpensive and you get a lot. You get unlimited talk. You get unlimited text. You get the web. And it's $50 a month. It's on the nationwide network that you can trust. It's AT&T. And it's a great phone, too. Pantec P7040P. If you want to see what it looks like, just Google that. Google Image. Pantec P7040P. So if you're the type of person that loves the instant messaging and you also love to text, this is perfect for you. It's unlimited. It's called the GoPhone. You want to know more? 800-GO-PHONE or go to att.com slash GoPhone. Eligible device and minimum account balance required. Data package required for smartphones. Coverage not available everywhere. Other restrictions and conditions apply. See store for details.
FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up again to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With our Teachers Are Heroes program, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize. Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM 949. and FM 94.9. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man.
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Your wireless is unfair. Go to Cox.com or visit any Cox Solution store today to find out just how fair wireless can be. Cox Wireless, now available. Cox Wireless is available to residential Cox customers. Coverage not available in all areas. Other restrictions may apply. Hi, this is Ella B. with Ovation, and you've heard me talk about the advanced formula from Ovation. It's new, it's sulfate and paraben-free, and leaves your hair fabulous. Well, right now is the best time for you to try Ovation Cell Therapy because Ovation is participating in Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and they're featuring a special edition pink bottle of the advanced formula cell therapy. Listen to what they're going to do, a portion of each. Purchase of the Special Pink System will be donated to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. And in addition to the funds raised through the purchase of the Special Pink System, the Ovation Nation team will participate in Susan G. Komen, San Diego's Race for the Cure, being held on November 6th here in Balboa Park. So join them by signing up today at KomenSanDiego.org. Now, how do you get the product? You've got to log on to OvationHair.com, and when you do, be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you'll get a special...
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I'm going to play you a song from Jay because we've been getting inundated with when are you going to play Welcome to the Jangle? I feel like Casey Kasem here, man. That's right. Welcome to the J. You know where you are, baby. You're in the Jangle. Oh, wow. Yeah, baby. You're in the jungle. Oh, didn't you say that? Make sure you know. Wait, where are we? Oh, oh. He's dreaming. Welcome to the jungle. I got whips and chains. I got everything taunts, honey. If that is your game, I'm a person that likes to look. But touching, there's no need.
If you've got big boobies, honey, please show them to me in the jungle. Welcome to the jungle. I want to see them even if they're hanging to your knees. Knees. I want to watch you. Please. Oh, God. Welcome to the jungle. I do push-ups every day. If you want to skate a surf, bring cash and come with me if you're a very sexy girl. That's a line. Peel off my shirt. Jeans. Peel off my shirt. Jeans. Jeans. Peel off my shirt. Jeans. Jeans. Welcome to the Jangle. It gets better every day. I learned to live with animals on the Mikey Show every day. Mikey and Woods are hungry. They eat everything they see. They can eat anything they want, but they better not take it from me. In the Django. Welcome to the Django. L.O.B.'s waiting for Matt to get on his knees. Oh, wow. Subtle. I think hell is going to freeze. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Well, there it is. Oh, and it just very abruptly ends. And I'm done.
Very abruptly. Our phone number is 570-1949. We're going to be playing a new game now. And the game is called Real or Fake. And what you've got to do is pick a horse. You're going to be picking me, Woods, or Jay. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want? I want Woods. All right. Hang on the line. M1 Screenwriter from Hillcrest. Who do you want? Good for you, Mikey. Thank you. I appreciate that. And M1 Rick. from Escondido, you got Jay, okay? Sounds good. All right. Now, basically, I think that this game, it isn't stuff that we know, right, L.O.B.? No. Unless I had a memory lapse and don't remember talking about it. Just possible. All right, so L.O.B. is going to tell us facts about herself. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. Now, she's got five facts.
And so whoever does the best is the winner for the person they're playing for. And we've got to figure out whether or not L.O.B., whether this fact about her is real or fake. Okay. Now, I think this comes down to how well do we know her? Who knows her best? And how well can she sell it? Well, and the thing is, if I've never told you, then you've got to take what I'm saying as... Fact. Fact, right? Well, but... See, I'm now feeling competitive with Woods and Jay, and I want to have a flag that says, I know L-O-B better than you do. Or your flag would say, I'm a better guesser on this certain dish. Right. You can have both flags. Okay, maybe. You fly two flags. Maybe. And then the Mexican flag, of course. Yeah, of course. Now, would you like to go in the same order every time? Yeah, let's go. Yeah, let's go. Clockwise. Okay. Starting with Mike? Sure. Okay. When I was in third grade, I used to play the boys chase girls around the playground. I was chasing a boy, I fell, and I broke my wrist. Wow. Well, there's no doubt in my mind that you would absolutely be chasing a boy, but I'm going to say that that is a fake fact. You did not break your wrist. Jay, what do you think? I, too, believe it is fake. And would. As do I. That's correct. All right!
Okay, here we go. Did not break my wrist. Didn't. Okay. One year in, let's say like sixth grade, I was dressed as Santa Claus and I went to a preschool and I had all the kids sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas. Well, sixth grade is not preschool. And so I say that as a fake fact. Sixth grade is you're like a 12-year-old or 11. Jay. I'm going to say it's a true story. I'm also going to say it's a true story. It's a true story. What? I was wrong. That is very strange. Jane Woods are correct? Jane Woods are correct. Yes. Oh boy. It was part of like a volunteer project. I've been a volunteer for a long time. She's a big volunteer. She's big into the volunteering. Big volunteer person. Were you, now I'm confused of which were you.
Were you preschool or were you? They were in preschool. Oh, they. I was in sixth grade. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. I misunderstood. All right. I, Lauren R. O'Brien, was a published writer at the age of 11. I 100% believe that to be a true fact. Jay. I, too, believe it to be a true fact. Would. Fake. That's a true fact. Damn it! What were you published? How? What? We had an assignment in class to write an essay about how we felt about AIDS. Yes. And at what age? Sixth grade. I was 11. And it was a national thing. Sorry, there's a lot of people confused right now. I just need to let people know.
Woods has always found AIDS to be hysterical. I know that there are a few people right now wondering, why would that young man be laughing so hysterically? She looked at me and goes, AIDS. The way she looked at me. Why did she choose you to look at it? How old were you? Eleven. You're against it, right? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. She was really for it. For it. I love it. And I had some theories. Very Andy Rooney-like theories. Oh, boy. And it was a national thing, and they published my essay. Really? In what? Some newsletter. Does Mrs. O'Brien, your mom, still have possession of said article? If by Mrs. O'Brien you mean myself and the box of things that I kept, then yes, at my parents' house. Will you bring it in? For Mikey-thon and read it. Read your AIDS article. Read your AIDS article. I can't. Your 11-year-old AIDS. AIDS article. Excuse me. 11-year-old award-winning AIDS article. Problem is, I've told you this before, it is packed.
A way, way, way. Crawl space bit. I know. Crawl space. If our listeners knew how much gold is buried in this fake crawl space in New Jersey, you would die. It would be like finding Capone's vault. Exactly. This is what my parents did. They gave me six years. They were like, will you please go through your stuff? Will you please go through your stuff? Will you please go through your stuff? I didn't go through my stuff. So they took my room and basically threw it into boxes. My high school room. L.O.B. At this point, I'm willing to fly out to Jersey. And just find this stuff. I can have it in January. I can promise you that. Please. Bring it all back. I will go on my hands and knees through the crawl space. I want so bad. That even got Chris. That even got the sweetest little angelic guy. Even he laughed at that. I'd give anything to read her. 11-year-old AIDS award-winning AIDS article. I want to get my hands on the journals. That's what I want to get my hands on. The journals. Inside the mind of a middle child, 11-year-old Lauren O'Brien. Oh, they start way back, like eight. And by the way, there's so many other things about her that were interesting. She was the horniest. Yes.
She was the horniest, like, kindergartner. Sex pervert. Used to go on to chat rooms. Sex chat rooms. At 12. Yeah, just to rile things up. And also, at the age of, I believe, four or five, did not understand the whole philosophy behind no means no. If she wanted a little boy, okay, she was going to take him. She took him. She took him. Well, this is not part of the game, but I have said on the air before, so I convinced my friend, little Jimmy Keller, who's expecting a baby. Congratulations. I convinced him to go swimming in the lake with me with clothes on. Well, we both got in trouble because we were soaking wet. Yeah. I don't know what happened to him, but I went home and I had to sit on the porch until I dried off. So the next time it happened, I convinced him to go skinny dipping with me. How old? Five. Five. Is that the one, by the way, that you made him kiss you? No, I kissed a kid when he was sleeping. No, I know, but didn't you... Jimmy Keller, we kissed, but I didn't really make him. But I thought you got him into the water, and he was in the water, and once you were in the water, you guys... Well, yeah, we did. I didn't make him, though. He wanted it. I just wanted to try it. You wanted it more than I did. I convinced him. I didn't force it. I did force a kiss on a boy when he was sleeping. Yeah. And he woke up to said kiss.
So, yeah, her deal was, listen, if I want you, you're mine. If I want it, I'm going to get it. I'm going to take it. I'm going to do it. Listen, and here's the other deal. If you don't want it, don't make a difference. Right. I'm taking it anyway. I'm taking it anyway. I'm getting you. And she would get you. All right. I have two more facts. All right. So it's Mikey 2, J3, Woods 2. I once was Annie in the play Annie. I have to decide whether or not that is real or fake. I will say it is fake. Jay? I'm going to say it is fake as well. Wood. My only chance to tie here. And he's looking her up and down. He's trying to read. It's real. That is fake. Yes. Right now, Jay is 4-4-4. Look at Mr. Perfect. Unbelievable. Look at Mr. Perfect. I know women. Oh, my gosh.
I think maybe Jay's a better listener. He knows me better. That is for sure. How dare you? How dare you? Woods is in his coffin. Woods is leaned back with his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest. How dare you support that self-image of him? I got to get back on his side. I don't want to die in the gas chamber. I love everyone. Just not y'all. I have one more. In my house. One more for you guys. Go ahead. Is this a three-pointer? Nope. Oh. I once got the attention for putting a kickball on my shirt and saying that I was pregnant. 100% real. Jay. I'm going to say that is real as well. There's no question that it's real. That is real. Oh, my God. Yes. Of course it is. And that was the last time that... Oh. I jinxed myself. You did. Yeah, you did. I jinxed myself. Through the decoy out there. Jay was five for five. Jay was five for five. Mr. Perfect. Thank you, thank you. Sometimes you just know women, mate. Look into it. You guys just listened. Oh, my God. M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, Mr. Perfect, one for you.
Nice. Yeah. There you go, buddy. There you go. Hang on the line. Glad to do it. The stories of L.O.B. going after the boys, it's always good. It's great stuff. It's always good. L.O.B. as a child is a fascinating study. Yes. With her older sisters. She was the horniest, most inquisitive, smart, just kind of different kid you can imagine. Can I tell you something? I've never said this out loud before. I used to watch movies and stuff where the women would be all coy and say no to sex. And I'd be like, what's wrong with them? When I'm older, I'm going to let any man that wants to have sex with me have sex with me. When you were how old? Like eight. I used to be like, what is wrong with them? L.O.B. was judgmental at eight years old. I was like, I can't wait to have sex. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That is the greatest. I used to be like, I don't care what they look like. Oh, my God. She was so horny. I was.
L.O.B. Now, when did it dawn on you like, oh, I can't do that? I think once I really understood what sex was. Right. So earlier this week. But I've known what sex is for a long time. I'm 30. It's now time for Explain That Joke. Jay. Yes, sir. It's time for you to explain that joke. She's easy. But she said that she just... You said that she just found out earlier this week that you weren't supposed to just have sex with everybody. There you go. Which would mean the opposite of being easy. No, not in my world. Wait. I said I didn't...
Once I found out what sex really was, the act of it, I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. Right. And Jay says that that happened earlier this week. So she's been crazy giving it away all the way up until earlier this week. But I knew what sex was. Right, did you? You've just heard. Explain that joke. In the movies, I thought that they were just kind of like wrestling, you know? Yeah. Like cuddling. You were hornier than me at 15. Yes. Yes. When she was six. I was bad at 15. I'd spend a lot of time with baffling. It's true. What's the matter with you? I do have so many pairs of tube socks. With who, me? Hey, hey. Everyone shut up, please. Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop. Yeah, for what? My goodness. Oh, my gosh. I don't even know. We'll be back. And the most exciting thing to happen. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful and sober manner. Be a part of the show.
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Try new chicken fettuccine carbonara, new bruschetta chicken, one appetizer, two entrees, all just $20. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego, Lincoln Financial. This is The Mikey Show. That'll work. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. Woods just showed me a picture that is very creepy. Where was it taken? Off what beach? I got a text from my buddy, a winder yesterday. He says, did you hear about the shark? I said, no. Do you not know a beach? I don't know a beach, but he sent it to me and he said off the coast. Holy cow, man. It was massive. Well, there's something about...
The light, the amount of light that was out at the time that the picture was taken. And there's also something about the calmness of the water that makes that photo so creepy. Can we post it? Eerie, yeah. Let's post it. I don't know how, but... Send it to me? Did you already send it to me? No, I don't know how to do that. Can I see your phone? No. Okay. Do you not really? No. How come? Save image. Good idea. You really don't? Oh, now I know how to do it. Feast, feast, feast, feast, feast, feast, feast, feast, feast. Feast, feast, feast. You want it texted? You want it emailed? Because you can pick either one. I'll do either one. I can do either one. I know how. Text. Okay. Well, Woods and I like to have fun with each other. Apparently. And that's the way we do it. That's the way we roll.
Got a live studio audience hanging out with us today. And got to make our picks for tomorrow, Woods. Holy crap, that's right. Is that today? Tomorrow we got to announce them. You were 13 of 15 or 14 of 16 last week. Something like that. Yeah, maybe you start gambling. Woods, this is the most frightening. I'm telling you, post it. It's so hideous. Oh, my gosh, dude. This is a terrifying photo. And that was in San Diego County. Correct. Eighteen foot. Why do you get in the water? Woods and Jay and Nello B. That's fun and peaceful. Very, very unlikely that you're going to get attacked by a shark. I was in it yesterday. Martin, this is compressed air. What the hell kind of a knot was that? You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks and they're going to blow up. You yell barracuda. Everybody says, huh? What? You yell shark. We've got a panic on our hands on the 4th of July. I don't want any part of the ocean. Because of, oh, L.O.B. Listen, I know they've always been there. I know all that stuff. I've heard the arguments like, you know, they're there all the time and nobody realizes it. I understand. But there's something about the fact that they...
They're letting us see them now. Maybe it means there's more of them. No, there's just more accessibility to information. There's Twitter. There's the Facebook. You got a point there. There's the MySpace. The Facebook. Yeah. You got the FaceSpaces and... The news. Now they have websites. Cameras. Yeah. Phone cameras. Everyone's got a camera with them at all times. Seven-year-olds. Harold. I'm going to post it on our Facebook page. Yeah. Did he text you too? Our friend Harold loves the text bit. It is his favorite bit in the world. What did he text? Can you text it? He goes, can I see the picture? Harold, we're going to put it on the thing. It's going to be on the thing. He's got lightning speed thumbs. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Let's be from all the arm wrestling. That is true. He is an arm wrestler. He's a professional arm wrestler. And he is my friend. He's my friend, too. My friend, too. Jay hates him, he said. Nope. Let's see. Woods, can you give us some sports headlines? Absolutely, my friend. I can do that for you. What do you got? Do you know who Ozzy Guillen is? He's one of your countrymen. He is not Mexican. Oh, yeah, you're right. He's Venezuelan. Oh, wow. Same thing. Oh. He.
has been let go from the chicago white socks and he has a new team the florida marlins it's gonna be he's good though right he is good but he's very inflammatory yes he comes uncorked i kind of like it because he will call his players out in this day and age we always talk about pc people he is without a doubt the least pc person oh yeah on the face of this earth yeah and so now he's going to go down to florida A lot of good, young Dominican, Venezuelan players. Watch for that team to be a force in the next couple years. This guy knows what he's doing. He won a World Series. For instance, he, by the way, the comment that Woods made as a joke a moment ago, Ozzie Gann wouldn't have a problem with that joke. Zero percent. You know? He would laugh. Of course. We are in a politically correct LOB. You know, it's reactionary. It's reactionary. You get the... Oh, and if you didn't hear, the Boston Red Sox defied all logic this weekend and defeated math. There was a 99.6% chance at the beginning of September that they would make the playoffs. They did not make the playoffs. They lost, as did the Yankees. They lost last night to Tampa, who took the wild card in the AL. And in the National League, the St. Louis Cardinals clinched, as did the Brewers, the Diamondbacks.
And the Phillies. There you go. Any chance that the Yankees threw the game so they wouldn't have to face the Red Sox? You know, LB, that brings up a good point. Because I got a lot of grief last night when the Yankees had a one-run lead. They said, why aren't they bringing in Mariano Rivera right now? Well, they want to save him. Well, yeah. The playoffs start Friday. What if he took one off the knee? A grounder up there. He's done. We had already wrapped. The Yankees had already wrapped up their division weeks ago. We. The Yankees don't owe the Red Sox anything. They owe them nothing. So you take care of business. You don't lose 20 games in September. We're not having this conversation. It looked, when you're up 7-0 and you lose, it kind of looks like, oh, wow, that's weird. But we didn't pitch anybody that we're going to pitch in the playoffs. Just a bunch of rookies and young kids. There you go. It was crazy. If you would like to eat 30% less than you're eating right now. Scientists say that there is a way to do it. Scientists at USC. They say, eat with your other hand. Not both hands, Mikey. That didn't take long. I've been sitting on that sucker for a week. Typical fat guy. Oh. Can't wait until he tells that story. I sent that story to Wood about a week ago. And I've been waiting and waiting.
And I've been lying in weight like a viper. Ugh, look at how fat you are. Oh, does that give me instant relief? I didn't... You're looking kind of fat. Look at these arms. Fat, fat, fat. Let me tell you, it's like this. You know when you got a bad sunburn, you rub aloe on it. I can't tell you how soothing it is to play Max Fat Drops. Remember when you were a little kid? and your mom took you to the dime store and bought you a new toy. That's what it's like when I find a new piece of gold. I just love fat drops. Actually, it's more like living in Houston and striking all. Yeah, that's right. It's like seeing a white wolf. It's funny because he's fat. I'm going to try this. I'm going to start with the fork in the left hand. They say that you're 30%. You eat 30% less. You're going to give it all that effort? Ow. Ow. Can't hurt. You've got to start somewhere. Yeah, why not? I couldn't even get that one out. Wow. Listen, you do have to start somewhere. It's a fake bit. It's a fake bit, and it's a fake study. Why? Because it happened to me. I didn't eat less. I broke my elbow. I had to learn to do everything on my left hand. I didn't do anything. Nothing. Really? Yeah, nothing. You didn't eat less? No.
Ate the same, drank the same, did everything. You adapt. But you're a baseball player. Aren't you kind of like... No, I can't do anything with my left hand. Well, you can't argue with... You didn't. But they did do an official study at USC. And the study says... Did they have hidden cameras on people that were eating with their left hand? Well, I wasn't there. I mean, they ate 30% less. Now, that may not be me. Maybe I don't. Probably eat slower. Yeah. It takes more focus and then you realize you're full. I think, yeah, a lot of us just eat because we're bored. 100%. You know? Do you ever do the bit where you just keep walking back and going, I wonder if anything's there now? Yes. Once a day. Wasn't there five minutes ago, but maybe now. Maybe something changed. Maybe somebody watered the refrigerator and some peanut butter that doesn't exist grew. Correct. And is in there. Maybe I missed something.
When I pushed everything out of the way and had half my body in there poking around. Maybe I missed something. Jay can relate to this. Is there anything more maddening than going to the refrigerator and somebody ate something you were saving? All the time. Oh, man. And with the kids, right? Adult kids. Adult kids. Or even worse. Like, boy, he will eat everything. I've bought a whole pack of... Turkey dogs. And he's eating the entire thing. I'm like, where are those guys? A whole pack? A whole pack. He eats the whole pack? He eats the whole pack. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this Finnegan? Yes. Okay. He's 19, right? He's 19. Okay. And he's skinny, too. Skinny as a rail. Yeah. Now, do you question him about this? Yes. Repeatedly. Okay, so here's my questions, because I know you got answers. Did he grill them? Or did he just take them? How does a boy eat? A whole pack of turkey hot dogs. I didn't care how he ate them. The fact that he ate them all. I know. And I'm like, were your friends here? And he always says, no. But I think they were. They were. And I think what happens is I buy them and then I'll go to bed. He'll get home late, have a late snack. So he's eating two or three right then. And then the next morning, I'm not eating them yet anyway. So he gets up, skips breakfast.
Has lunch, has them for lunch, and now the pack's gone. How do the kids not know better by now not to mess with Jay's food? That is a true story. He's at the age now, he thinks it's funny. Well, there's that, and then there's also this element that you throw in. There are too many suspects. Yeah. A lot of people in and out. Yeah, it can't be proven. Right. In a house. Me and Dad are on different schedules. By the time he talks to me, he'll forget about it. And here's my philosophy. Mine is, please go ahead. But can you leave me a little? That's my deal. This is what will make me crazy is when I get something, I didn't have one. I didn't get one. A box of Blondie Oreos or something. Didn't get one. Two new bits going on in my house. They leave the empty box in there. So you go and you grab the box off the shelf and you're like, yeah.
You lift it. Whoa. Flies up off. And the other one, which is bad, leftover pizzas, right? Yeah. In the refrigerator. Oh, boy. You go to get it, and it's gone. But then 20 minutes later, you see them walk in, and they're warming up a piece. And you're like, how did you do that? I looked everywhere. They've started hiding the food in the refrigerator. Oh, my God. So they'll take the three, four pieces of pizza out. They're your kids. They'll work into my future, by the way, because I got three young boys. Absolutely. So they do. Here's the other one. This may be my top one. This is my top one. I have to do a little bus throwing here. My wife won't mind. I think she might even find it humorous. My wife does not understand the concept of stale. And what I mean by that is, if there is a bag of something, it needs something called a chip clip. And I will take a bag out and there's no chip clip on it. And instantly I feel my face get red. Because there's no chip clip. Monster.
And I think to myself, if I reach in there and this chip is like a flour tortilla, I'm going to lose my ever loving mind. And sure enough, it's a flour tortilla. My wife is you. I am Rebecca. What's the matter with you? Can I project onto you then? You can. Why do you do that? Laziness. Sheer. Don't you care? Don't you? I'll throw it away and buy another one. Okay, wait. Even if that were the philosophy, which is already flawed. The philosophy is flawed. But let's say that's your philosophy. You don't have a 7-Eleven in the house.
Yeah, right down the street. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. That is maddening. I don't want to get in my car. All I want to do is go to the cupboard. He won't. Mosey on over. He won't go. He won't. He'll call. Yep. Hey, can you bring home some more of that? I did that once, but I do the shopping in my house. Yeah, so it doesn't bother you, you're telling me, that the Doritos have gone stale. No, because usually it's just kind of the... The bottom end of it anyway. I mean, I fold it. I do fold it tightly. I just don't put anything over it. Because I don't know where the hell she keeps them. I've broken several hundred of them. I fold it. I do the fold. I am with you on that. I am with you on... This is me at my house. You describe for everybody. This is me getting the chip clip at my house. He's looking in the drawers. Second drawer. Nope. Third drawer. Nothing. Cupboard? Nope. Not in the cupboard. Hands to the side. Nope. Oh, down below, under the oven. Nope. Not there. Nope. Not there. Not in the junk drawer. Not there. Oh, he's flailing around like an idiot. Yeah, nothing. Never in the same place. This morning. Every morning. Every morning. Guys, tell me if you can relate to this. You're listening. Every morning, I have a piece of toast, and I have a white spreader.
It's got a white handle on it. Not to be confused with my wooden-handled spreader knife, which disappeared into thin air. It disappeared. Kat probably took it. Yeah, you left it somewhere. Do you know how long I had? I don't take that thing. I'm not that guy. I'm not the take stuff to places. To your room, maybe? No. Okay. No. Okay. Jay's going to prove me wrong. I know he got up and he's looking for something. What were you looking for? There was a spreader knife in your... Here's a spreader knife. That ain't a spreader knife. I know what that is. Oh, boy. That's not a spreader knife. Okay. That's a tomato knife. Why is it here? Why is this crazy looking knife here? I'll tell you why. It's been here since the last Mikey-thon. Oh, okay. It was here for Mikey-thon last year. All right, you got me on that one. I don't know what the hell I brought that here for. Anyway, we had a wooden-handled spreader. It turned up missing, which made me nuts because I'd had that thing for 15 years. So it disappeared. So we got a new one, white handle, rounded top. It's in the same place every day. You know why? Because that's where I put it. That's where I put it. So I go for that thing.
And it's gone. This morning? Yes, this morning. Now, I've asked before. That's my wife on the phone. Oh, you're dead. Is it really? Yeah. You're dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope she's going to explain that spreader. Hello, my darling. Hi. Oh, boy. I think I know what happened to the knife. Oh, God. The wooden one? Yeah. It's just a theory. What is it? Well, I think it's possible that maybe you threw it in the trash in a Lunesta haze. That is possible. Wow. That is possible. I have found plates and silverware in the trash. Oh. I think it's possible. Now, wait a minute. This only happened on a couple of occasions. There was one time. There was one time where Rebecca found peanut butter and a loaf of bread. Above the oven and the cupboard. Above the oven and the cupboard. Wow. Okay. And I found the plate and knife and fork in the trash.
Sometimes the Lunesta haze will get you. It will get you. And he gets kind of the munchies after he takes it. It's true. So he'll end up downstairs and he'll make himself something to eat and things will turn up in strange places. Wait a minute. Now, babe, true or false? And I find it interesting that somehow we get the blame for him. Hang on now. Hang on now. True or false? I got a true or false for you. All right. The white-handled butter knife. The spreader. Yeah. True or false. Sometimes it's used for baby stuff upstairs because it's convenient. Like diaper changing, you mean? No. No. Sometimes if we have to feed the kids upstairs for some reason, like maybe if we're having a group or something.
something in our house like having people over and it's a adults you know no kids sometimes listen listen here here's the deal sometimes we have to feed the kids upstairs so we take their little portable high chairs upstairs and we have to bring you know Tools. Tools, yeah. Now, you guys have heard me make this point before on the air, and guys, if you're listening, dudes that are listening may be able to relate to this. Sometimes a guy just wants to have his thing, you know, his thing. Yeah, but maybe you bring it back down on your way downstairs. You check, oh, it's not there. Maybe it must be down in its spot. Or you just share, or you adapt and overcome. Maybe you can use a regular night. You're part of a family now, Mike. You're part of a family now. Maybe you get another spreader for that purpose so that I can have a call. An upstairs spreader. Yes. Yeah, and that only happens like once a month. So it's not like it's a regular thing. Yeah. What if it didn't happen?
You have a problem with sharing. Yeah, you don't share well. You have a problem with sharing. I don't. Let me explain here. You want your own toothpaste, your own spreader. You're so generous. You're so generous, but you do have a problem with sharing. Hey, listen. It's 100%. This is my thought on it. I'll get you one. I'll get you one. You will, too. I mean, the generosity, you're absolutely right. I'll get you one. If you'll simply just leave. Don't touch mine. Leave mine alone. But your wife is very smart and very financially responsible. And she sees, oh, we don't need two spreaders. Then put the spreader back. We simply need one. It's just unnecessary. Is there a butter knife you can use? Just use a knife. Oh, yeah. We have lots of things that you can use. There's all kinds of spreaders. Just use a freaking regular knife. Yeah, a regular knife, a plastic knife, a big knife, whatever. I have. A special life. What's the deal? Can I borrow your Sharpie? No. Hell no. What does that say? He labeled it. My all-time favorite pen and all time is underlined twice. He got that from Trish over at Harley Davidson. Can I keep it? It's so unique. It's almost like a cigar. It's the greatest Sharpie I've ever had.
And all I want is for no one to touch it and just leave it alone. If I came to you today and said, hey, I'm in a pinch. I need to borrow X amount of dollars. You'd be like, yeah, yeah, sure. Done. Done. It's not about that. If I came in and said, hey, dude, can I get a, you ordered breakfast. Can I make a tortilla, a fajita out of what you ordered? You know, you might let me do it, but it would be a struggle. Well, it's like this. It isn't. And no, that's not necessarily true. This is the thing. Like, get your own thing. Get your own. Like, I'll buy it for you. But just have it. Don't like family family. It is my own. My deal is. I want to have a deal with my shrink incessantly with this topic with me. But what I want to do is I just want the world to take care of themselves and I won't bother you. I won't bother. Your own apartment? No! I don't. I don't want my own. I want you. I love you. I love you, but why can't you have some crest?
And I have close-up. I just want close-up. Why can't you have Crest? You like Crest. I like close-up. But she goes, I like his close-up. It's compromise. I'll buy you close-up then if you want it. No, it's being one, Mike. Why have two? We are one. When one becomes two? I just don't. This is how you save money and get to buy things that you want with your allowance. It's true. And, you know, you can't sweat the small stuff. That's right. Just be one with your wife. That's why we make love to our wives at night. You can't sweat the small stuff. You can't sweat the small stuff. Why? She got you with that. She did get you. The sweating the small stuff? She knew it would get you. Oh, yeah. Does my wife, Rebecca... have a schematic to my buttons or not. A big old blueprint. Yes, a blueprint. She's giving me a sneak peek from time to time. Oh, yeah. She knows. I learned how. It's so great. Are you going to come in, hun? I think so, just for a couple minutes. She's going to come visit, she said. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you bringing any children's with you? No, no. I'm on my way to an appointment. I'm a little early, so I thought I'd have a couple minutes to swing by and say hi. Okay. Well, we'll see you in a little bit. I love you. Love you. Bye.
It's so great. I love it. I could listen to her get you all freaking day. For hours. Absolutely. Every break. When's she coming in? Let's make some noise in our live studio. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Byen. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. That's the sound of the Jeep celebration event. And just what are we celebrating? Well, Jeep Grand Cherokee is the most awarded SUV ever. And the 2012 Jeep Wrangler has an all-new powertrain with improved performance and fuel economy. With a refined, quiet interior and best-in-class maneuverability and ground clearance, it's the most capable Jeep Wrangler ever. And with some great deals, we expect a lot of sparks to fly. The Jeep Celebration Event, featuring the newest lineup of trail-rated SUVs.
Now get 0% APR financing for 60 months or 1,000 cash allowance on the 2011 Jeep Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited at your SoCal Jeep dealer. EPA estimated fuel economy 17 city and 21 highway for Wrangler two-door. Actual results may vary based on Ward's vehicle segmentation when properly equipped. 0% APR financing for 60 months equals $16.67 per month for 1,000 financed for well-qualified buyers regardless of down payment when financed through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restriction supply offers in 1031. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. Gotta tell you about Denny's. Let's get cheesy. Real sweetly. It is the best, man. It's my favorite menu they've ever done. And they did a really good one with the bacon bit. This one is better. The Let's Get Cheesy menu features... Breakfast items, lunch items, dinner items, and dessert items. It is available all day, every day, for a limited time only. And dishes start from $4.99. The new Denny's Fried Cheese Melt, okay? The new Cheese Please Omelette. The Cheesy Breakfast Sampler. The Country Fried Steak and Eggs with Cheese all over it. It's so good. The Winner Winner Cheesy Dinner.
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Shark spotted yesterday in woods. You found out where it was, right? Yeah, a mile off the La Jolla shelf. Oh, my gosh. Great white, right? Yes. That's a mile out there. None of us are swimming a mile out. I am. But Jake had beat up a shark, so it doesn't matter. That's true. That's true. Thank you. Let's see. You have some... Stuckish? Thank you. A little egg. Thank you. Did you have to... Gosh. What? Not mortifying enough that it's thousands and thousands of people. I'm just trying to help, dude. It's egg yolk, actually. I actually have a baby bird stuck in your beard. There's a turkey leg stuck in your beard, Mike. You guys ever hurt yourself when you were a kid to the point where it was like hospital time? Or was it all just? harmless sort of around the house stuff. You ever make a hospital trip? Oh, several. How many times? Really? Dog bites, you know, falling off your bike, getting concussion, stitches in the chin. So many stitches. So many stitches. 43 in the top of my head. Oh, wow. 22 in a foot. Why? For what? What? The one I told you about where I was climbing up over the fence and my sister tied my shoelace to the top of the fence. I went to jump for my gun she'd put in the tree and did the swing over and there's a cinder block.
Oh, dude. God dog. Part of the reason for my hairline. Other reason, I guess I'm just old, but it shattered my skull. They cracked it in the 43 stitches. I remember waking up for a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Now, how old were you? I was probably four. How old was she? Seven years older. Seven years older? Yeah. She didn't think it was going to do that. We were just... And she kind of denies it still to this day. She says she definitely put the gun in the tree, but she says my shoelaces accidentally wrapped up. Yeah. Now, was that the story that she maintained to your parents? Oh, to this day. So wait, did your parents punish her? I think she felt bad enough. Yeah, so they didn't get, she didn't get in trouble. She didn't get in trouble, no. She wasn't really trying to kill me. My boyfriend, Matt Commerce, wanted to be like the beginning of Tom and Jerry and took off and sprinted through a glass door. Oh.
Oh, my gosh. Yes. What? Yeah. How old? He took off. Gosh, I wish I remembered how old. It's got to be like under the age of five. Oh, dude. His poor mother. His brother also jumped off a second story roof. They were just three boys. I mean, they had a girl, too, but the three boys rowdy. And he saw it on Tom and Jerry, so he got up, took off, just out of nowhere, just sprints into it. Sliding glass door. He'd get all cut up? Yes. Oh, gosh. I stepped on a nail. I remember that. Stepped on a nail and had to get a tetanus shot. My brother, Mark, spinning me around by both of my wrists. Arms popped out of their sockets and he let me go. Of course they did. Of course they did. Maybe because you were so heavy, I think he's saying? I don't know. Did gravy pour out, Mike? Yeah, when your arms came off. Gravy. Gravy just spew out of there. Just gravy. Marinara. You look like a smothered pork chop, right? King size breakfast spewing out everywhere. Disgusting. I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell a story and get the story out before a fat joke. I'm working on that. Woods just shook his head. No, there's not. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Just get used to it. You are used to it. Learn to live with it. 570-1949.
What'd you do as a kid? Put you in the hospital. 570-1949. Make some noise in our live studio audience. 570-1949. Or text them 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming on FM 94.9. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed. As in the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class, with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically, one test drive reveals that all this new technology prompts an old reaction, amazement.
Lease the E350 Sport Sedan, an IHS top safety pick, for just $599 a month for 33 months with $4,369 due at signing. Only at your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through September 30, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. Chris. Um, hello, random voice. Another customer exhausted from a lifetime of unfair treatment from his cell phone company. It's true. I'm even considering giving up cell phones altogether and switching to carrier pigeons. Not so fast, Chris, because now there's an unbelievably fair alternative. Cox Wireless. How fair are we talking? Unbelievably fair. Go ahead and name anything about your cell phone plan that you think is unfair and I'll tell you how Cox Wireless would handle it. Okay. It's unfair when I have to pay for all the minutes I don't use. Cox Wireless has money back minutes. Money back every month for the minutes you don't use. Up to $20. How's that sound, Christopher? That sounds good. These pigeons are really messy.
Your wireless is unfair. Go to Cox.com or visit any Cox Solution store today to find out just how fair wireless can be. Cox Wireless, now available. Cox Wireless is available to residential Cox customers. Coverage not available in all areas. Other restrictions may apply. So you know that the government debt rating, we got downgraded. Economy's all messed up. Stock market, that's been a roller coaster. And it's pretty much... The news on the economy has not been good for a long time. That's why AIS makes a lot of sense for you. 1-800-777-4AIS. That's 1-800-777-4247. They look for discounts that you qualify for. Some of them are up to 20% off. So you can get a lot of different discounts depending on what kind of driver you are. It's worth it for you to either go online, Or give them a call. Now, online, AISinsurance.com. If you want to call them, 800-777-4AIS. And they're shopping over, they're shopping dozens, basically, of insurance companies for you. It's 1-800-777-4247. If you like exciting low prices on groceries, the Vaughn Circular is fresh off the presses with some of the hottest deals in town.
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Right now, BMW is offering a $1,000 credit on the 2011 320i sedan, along with attractive lease and finance offers, but only for a limited time. And as you build those strong bonds on the open road with your ultimate driving machine, you won't be weighed down by the baggage of any maintenance costs for four years or 50,000 miles. Hurry into a BMW center today for a test drive. The chemistry will be immediate. For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $4.99 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Sometimes life kind of feels like, well, a juggling act. Fortunately, Cricket Wireless helps keep things in control with a cool smartphone like the Sanyo Zayo by Kyocera for under $100. And the best part is Cricket's great unlimited plan with talk, text, and data for only $55 a month, way less than those other guys, and an awesome price for a smartphone. The Zayo's perfect for keeping up with friends and family on Facebook, Google Maps to get around, and has access to tons of other apps.
So do yourself a favor and get the Android-powered XIO for $99.99 with no contracts or hidden fees, plus unlimited talk, text, and data for just $55 a month. Visit a Cricut store or mycricut.com today. So smart, so Cricut. Limited time offer requires new activation. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricut's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. Get the Huawei Ascend 2 Android smartphone at Cricut for $99.99 after mail-in offer. Plus a great plan for only $55 a month with no contract. Visit a Cricut store today. This is Radio Burger King, the sound of value and flavor. Thank you. Two simple words that we just don't hear enough. Well, Burger King is saying thank you by giving you a cool, creamy soft serve cone or cup with the purchase of a value meal. That's a free soft serve, and all you have to do is enjoy a value meal. Is anybody else giving you something free right now? Well, then go to Burger King and get your soft serve. This is Radio BK.
Price and participation vary. Limited time offer not valid during breakfast hours while supplies last. Healthy living. It's something we all care about, and it's even more important to us as we raise our families. The National Children's Study aims to expand what doctors know about children's health and development, which could benefit our children's children. It will look at many aspects of children's lives from before their birth until they are 21 years old. such as family history and where they live, learn, and play. The National Children's Study is now enrolling families in San Diego County. For more information, visit sandiego.nationalchildrenstudy.gov. Hey, it's Mikey, and I just wanted to personally say thanks to a couple of my sponsors that I just really, really love, AIS Insurance and BMW Encinitas. I just really appreciate what you do and what you offer to our listeners, and I just wanted to say thank you to you guys. It really means a lot to all of us. And now back to The Mikey Show. With Mikey. What does it do, Jay? It makes it 3D. I wanted one of those avatars to be like, and like be in my face and go. Woods. If 16-year-old girls are in on something, I'm out on it. Lauren. I'm very aggressive when it comes to lines. And Jay. If you want any, you'll be nice to me. Yes, ma'am. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience. Welcome back. So the question was, did you ever get?
jacked up as a kid to the point where you had a hospital trip? If so, 570-1949. M1 Tan Man from San Diego, you there? Yeah, how you doing? Good. When I was a kid, I jumped off of a slide because I was getting chased by somebody and I compound fractured my wrist and was in the hospital. Four hours, had a cast all the way up to my shoulder break, couldn't move my arm for about three days, like at all. Dude. Compound, does that mean that it came out of the skin or no? Yeah, yeah, you can see my bones. Came out of the skin. Shut up. Came out of the skin. Oh, wow. Did the kid get in trouble that was chasing you? No, because it was my fault. I just jumped off like a kid, basically. Kid's like, ah! Oh, my gosh. Taken out by an ambulance and everything. It was just the whole nine. That's nuts. Thank you for the call. M1 Harold from San Marcos is on the line. Hello. How's he on the line and he just texted me at the same time? Oh my gosh, he did. I got one of them androids that's talk to text, you know? I guess. He's like the guy from Quantum Leap. Yeah, he's the master. Do you really have a talk to text feature on your Android? I do. No wonder. This guy will text a lot. He's a texter. He's a texter. He is a texter.
What were you texting in to say, Harold? When I was a kid, I was riding my skateboard, went off the skateboard ramp, started to fall backwards, put my arms down, snapped my left arm, right in between the elbow and the wrist. Is that your ulna? Is that your ulna? Yes. Oh, God bless. Is that what you used to arm wrestle with or the other arm? No, I used both. Yeah, I used both arms. So it healed back just as strong as it was before. Yeah. What if it just snapped one day in the old break? It wasn't an actual break that was so bad. It was when the doctor set the bone back in place. That's what hurt the most. Shut it, shut it, shut it. Oh, I bet it did because what would happen, Woods, is that the two bones would touch one another and scrape. Oh, yeah. They'd scrape and crackle against one another. I'll tell you what would be bad. Shut it, stop.
One of them chipped. Imagine if that would have happened. She was setting it and it chipped the bone. Or just splintered all the way down. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. He's burning up. Steve, I'll text you the details. Yeah, thank you. A picture, please. Do you know what a Thai wall is? It's a wall in Thailand. Yeah, it's not like a Cambodian wall. Yeah, that'd be a Cambo wall. Jack talk tie. Six minutes. You know what a tie wall is? No. Jay, do you tie a wall? A sheer wall? These big, thick logs, they look like. And they have these big bolts through them. And people used to have them in Texas. And it separated our driveway from somebody else's backyard. We thought it would be fun at eight or nine years old to start a bicycle club. And to get in the club, you had to ride as fast as you could down the driveway and off the tie wall, which was about five feet tall. Oh, I know what he's talking about. It's basically a wall. And you ride off, and it sinks down five feet into the neighbor's backyard. Okay. And we did that, and your boy is lucky that he has a wiener because I fell immediately off my bike and rode about 50 yards with...
No padding in between my legs. And I thought I was going to die. I didn't have one of those nut checkers, you know? Just on the bar. On the bar. I was riding. Top bar. Out of control. Feet, just waving in the wind. On that top bar. On that top bar. All my body weight just on that middle bar. Oh. I can still feel it. I can still feel it. I know what you're talking about. Oh, not really. Oh, gosh. And that's how you got into the club. A lot of guys were landing that jump. That's what you had to do? That's what you had to do. That was your initiation. Well, but you were supposed to stick it and land it, right? Well, it didn't matter. As long as you did it, it didn't matter. Just do it. Don't be a P. You know, do it. Do it. And I did it, and I rode with my legs flailing, and that thing right here. You think they all had a pretty good laugh? Oh, my gosh. Darn laughing. Oh, that sounds painful. Bruised bone? Yeah.
That's no joke. Did you ever break anything, have to do a hospital thing, Hillary? The only thing I've ever broken in my life is my nose. You can see. How did you do it? My profile. Well, I've done it more than once. Oh, my gosh. When I was in Girl Scouts, we were, I don't know what we were doing, delivering flyers for, like, a race. You couldn't park on the street or something. I had lagged behind the group of the rest of them. My girlfriend, Kelly, who now lives in Cardiff, she and I were total troublemakers in Girl Scouts and actually our whole lives. But anyhow, we got separated from the group, so we were running to catch up with them. I turned to say something and turned back into a telephone call. Oh, no way. And then another time. Oh, my gosh. Did it knock you off your feet? Oh, yeah. I don't remember it too well, but I remember it being the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Blinding, you know. And then at a slumber party.
I was sitting at like with my back leaning against my friend Nicole Goldstein's bed. And she had like this huge display case, huge wooden thing with all these dolls in it against the wall. And I was kind of looking up at it. And my friend Chelsea was hiding in the closet. I mean, we were probably 10 years old. And on the other side of the wall of her bedroom was the staircase. And all of a sudden, for some reason, all the little girls at the slumber party, the rest of them came running down this. stairs and the motion of them running down the stairs shook the wall and the thing went and landed on me. Oh my gosh. You're lucky you didn't die. And that broke your nose again? Oh my gosh. Once you break your nose, it's probably easy to do it again. Yeah. Because they said it, but it's probably going to. They don't even said it. They don't with me. They didn't because it was never like off. It was just like. Yeah. But and then I actually went to I consider plastic surgery when I was in high school because I was so self-conscious of my nose because I do have a little bump on it.
And I decided not to because, you know, it's stories. It's stories. It's souvenirs you never lose. But that's it. Never. Goo goo dolls. Goo goo dolls. My very first day of radio. Well, it wasn't my very first day of radio. It was my very first professional radio interview. Oh, no. What happened? Greatest. Oh, man. Who were you interviewing? Do you remember? I was interviewing with a beautiful music station in Tucson, Arizona. Oh, so you were interviewing to get the job? To get the job. Gotcha. Okay. I was 18. Okay. And it was going to be the first radio interview I ever went on. Okay. All right. And I was heavy kid, heavy set, but I was dressed very professionally with a tie and glasses, faux glasses. They weren't real. They were clear. Sure. But it looked cool. Smarter. Yeah. The movie Wall Street had come out, and that look was really cool. Oh, yeah. The glasses, tortoise shell. It had to be Ralph Lauren. Polo, Ralph Lauren made eyewear. And that was the in thing. Okay. And a friend of mine had a pair, and he didn't actually have a prescription. And so I was like, oh, that's the coolest thing in the world. So people started doing it.
Well, and it really did work if you were six feet tall. It was great. It was a cool look. So were the suspenders were a great look. If you were on Wall Street and you were six feet tall and, you know. But if you were, let's say, not six feet tall. Five, six? Five, six and, you know, 220. The suspenders and the faux glasses, just weird, you know, just weird. Anyway, I was leaving for the interview. I was at my brother's house, and I was walking out of the garage. And the garage was halfway down. I didn't know it. And it was one of those garages that are not made of wood. They're made of, like, steel. And, you know, they go up. Steel or aluminum. Right. You know? And they go up and retract back up into the ceiling of the garage. And I was looking down. And I walked into that thing so hard that it knocked me off my feet and broke the Ralph Lauren faux glasses. And it gave me this scar that I still have today. Oh, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, I still have a scar today. Well, that's no joke. No, it was no joke. Blood everywhere. Oh, my God. Luckily, the radio station was right down the street. My brother had a butterfly bandage. Oh, yeah. And I put a butterfly bandage on, and I got the job.
I went down and... They were probably impressed with your tenacity that you could suffer a trauma. I was not going to miss that interview. Did you tell them the story? Yeah, I had to. Oh, hell yeah. Had to. That's awesome. Don't lie to the dried blood and butterfly partners. Yeah, sorry about that. I just had an accident right before I left the house. It completes the look. Hillary, what do you got coming up? I'm going to play something from New Switchwood. Their new record came out this week. It's so good. I'll play something from that. Some Jane's Addiction. A band that was on Jimmy Fallon last night. And I have a leftover request from yesterday afternoon. A really good police song I haven't played in a long time. I'll get to that. And a great Desert Island Discs with some Dr. Dog. And I think Grizzly Bear was one of the records. There you go. Good stuff. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll be back tomorrow morning at 6 and do this again. The Mikey Show's out. Yeah.