The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 09/27/11
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
obama fundraiserhot pad controversyelmo annoyancescared straightbreast cancer virusdolphin taleobama slipsmart guy gamesexy or mexytrue statementpick your poisonrocktoberfest
Mikey hosted the show with Woods, Lauren O'Brien (L.O.B.), Jay, and Chris; they recapped President Obama’s San Diego fundraiser where attendees paid up to $17,900 for dinner and $10,000 for a photo, and noted an Obama slip where he almost said ‘Jews’ instead of ‘janitors’. The crew revisited the ongoing hot‑pad saga: Jay forgot his hot pads at Woods’ birthday, later claimed they were heirlooms, and eventually sold one on eBay for $100,000, sparking a debate over its value and authenticity. Woods expressed his desire to have a child and complained that the Elmo World song was stuck in his head, while the team played a Scared Straight clip where a kid screamed over a broken crayon. A medical breakthrough was highlighted: researchers at Penn State discovered a virus (AAB2) that kills all types of breast cancer in a week in lab tests, and the show featured games such as Smart Guy, Sexy or Mexy, and That’s a True Statement.
What happened, in order
Obama Fundraiser Visit
Mikey, Woods and L.O.B. recap President Obama’s San Diego fundraiser where guests paid up to $17,900 for dinner and $10,000 for a photo, and mention the ice‑cream photo that made the president look unflattering.
Woods Wants a Kid – Elmo World Stuck
Woods laments his strong desire to have a child and complains that the Elmo World song is stuck in his head, playing everywhere he goes.
Scared Straight Crayon Scream
The crew plays a Scared Straight clip where a kid screams hysterically after his crayon breaks, illustrating the program’s intense effect.
Comic of the Week – Refrigerator Story
Mikey shares the Comic of the Week about buying a refrigerator, which leads into the ongoing hot‑pad saga involving Jay’s forgotten pads.
Jay’s Hot Pad eBay Sale
Jay reveals he sold one of his hot pads on eBay for $100,000, claiming they are heirlooms, sparking a debate over their true value.
Obama’s ‘Jews’ Slip
During a discussion of Obama’s speech, the hosts note he almost said ‘Jews’ instead of ‘janitors,’ a slip that made them nervous.
Dolphin Tale and Winter’s Prosthetic Tail
Woods, L.O.B. and Jay discuss the movie Dolphin Tale, focusing on Winter the dolphin who lives with a prosthetic tail and is fed at 5:04 a.m.
Breast Cancer Virus Breakthrough
Mikey reports that Penn State researchers discovered the AAB2 virus, which kills all types of breast cancer in a week in laboratory tests.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayChrisRebeccaJamieJoshHaroldMason PhelpsElizabeth PhelpsTony RomoDan BaileyRex Grossman
37,308 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Sorry about that. I was in the restroom. And then I came back and I heard the music and I was like, oh, I think we're on the radios. 570-1949 if you want to call us. And Mikey's show's on the air. Let's do this thing. Get this sucker all cranked up, ready to go. You want to text? 949mikey at gmail.com. So I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years old. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer, and she is 30. Jay is 48. He is our producer. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. That's cross. That's cross. Word of the day, wedding. And today, word of the day is worth Queensryche tickets.
That's right. The word of the day today is worth Queensryche tickets. However, you must be caller number nine. When I work that into a sentence, you can win. It's very easy. 570-1949 is the number. And give us a call. I don't have the Queensryche one on him. Damn it. We don't have it. We don't? Jay said Queensryche. And it was one of my favorite moments. Several times. It's one of my favorite moments. There's no question. I don't know what you're talking about. What's that band? What's the name of that band? Queens Reich. There you go. That is correct. They're going to be at House of Blues. It's very smooth. And we're also throwing Dinner for Two at La Jolla Shorts. Nice. Let's see. So there's quite a few. Oh, sorry. Nothing. Let's see.
The big stuff is Obama was here yesterday at that. Came into town and flew in on Air Force One and landed at about 1 o'clock in the afternoon at Miramar and was doing a fundraiser. One of our M1s saw him. Really? Harold. Really? Yeah, saw him. Like driving down the road or something? Yeah. Grabbing ice cream. I saw a picture of him eating an ice cream cone. I did. He was eating, and it was the most unflattering photo I'd ever seen of the president. He was eating like a mint ice cream cone. And they waited until he was really sort of struggling with the ice cream cone to take the picture. Don't they always? They always do that. But he went to, he met with 150 supporters at a private event at a house in La Jolla. Mason and Elizabeth Phelps. Now, I wonder why, I mean, obviously they're rich, but there's a lot of rich people in La Jolla. So why Mason and Elizabeth Phelps? Don't know. Contributors, I bet. Big, big old contributors. They must have been, in San Diego, maybe the biggest contributors. The platinum level contributors. Because he went to their house. That's rad. That's where he talked to people. Well, that's where he talked to people. You pick up your room, the president's coming over today. Seriously. No, the actual president.
Pick up. Isn't that the boss of me? I am. The president of what? The country. Pick up your stupid, wrap the cords for your Xbox. What country? This country, moron. Get your stuff picked up. Your room smells like a funeral home, okay? You're not my real dad. Fair enough. Hey, he is now. I hate you, mom, for doing this to me. You won't be hating me when the president's here. Okay. All your friends are going to be jealous. Oh, I'm going to marry a rich guy. He's so rich. Fair enough. He is very rich. I want to go stay with my dad in Fresno. He doesn't... I've had it. I mean... I want to stay with my real dad. He's not available. He's driving trucks. Josh. You really want to go to Fresno, son? I don't want to hang out with Josh. Don't call him Josh. He's dad. Call me dad or stepdad. Dad. Just dad. Snapchat's fine. Doesn't bother me. Mr. Computer Analyst knows the president. That's right. What do you know? I know a lot. You know how to play Xbox? No. I have a Ferrari. You do? Yeah. You know that. Can I have one? Yeah, you'll get one when the time comes. That's right. See? Perks for everybody. You did it, mom, so you could get fake breasts. Aiden. What? Zip it. Gosh.
Terrible name. I'm just yelling. Josh, you're one to talk. My real dad in Fresno gave it to me. I know. He is on crystal meth, so. Yeah, well at least. Why would you say that? Because he is, mom. He's a crystal meth addicted truck driver. You know what crystal meth is? Well, Josh told me that he was on something called crystal meth. Sorry, dad. He's a hostess delivery man, and he's addicted to crystal meth. So what? I liked hostess when I was six. Quit making fun of my dad. Stop it, Josh. Grow up. I don't care if we're rich. That's how it might have gone down in La Jolla yesterday. Well, anyway. It costs a ton of dough to be there. Oh, I bet. And, well, I can tell you about this. He did the same thing. at a restaurant in L.A. called Fig and Olive. And tickets were $17,900 a person. Wow. Or $35,800 a couple. With the proceeds going to the Obama Victory Fund. And then I know that he was charging, to raise money, they were charging for photographs with him here in San Diego. And it was something like...
Ten grand. Yeah, for a photo. You're kidding. Something like ten grand for a photo. That is a heck of a photo. I mean, you really got to display that. I mean, you got to blow that thing up billboard size. He's on the war path for money. Yeah, he's raising dough. Wow. And he's really got to go to, you know, great lengths because I think a lot of people are like, I don't know if I want to give you money. Hey, you know what the big toys are going to be? They've already predicted it. The toys for Christmas this year are going to be Elmo and Harry Potter. Figures. Mm-hmm. It's a dancing and singing Elmo character. Are you serious? Mm-hmm. It's going to be a mad dash for those things. Scoop them up now. I need to get one ASAP. You sell it on eBay. No, to give to my niece. To your niece. Should I get one, too, for my nephew? Will he like it? He might be a little too young. How old? He's what? Nah, two months old. Yeah, too little. Just scare him. And then they got a Harry Potter DVD game that's also huge. Yeah, that's what I say about kids. Elmo's been like the top toy for the past 20 years. It does something different every year. That toy scares me, though. I always think it's going to come on in the middle of the night and just come walking at you. Hey, tickle me, tickle me. Let me tell you. Let me tell you.
Woods, you know, has been very, we talk a lot about this because Woods wants a kid so bad. And, you know, it's great, but it has its moments that make you want to blow your brains out. Okay. And let me just tell you about one of those moments. Okay. A human man can only hear. Elmo's world. I love that song. So many times. Sure. Okay? There comes what they call a breaking point. Right. Okay? And you hear it. You start to hear it in your sleep. You hear it in your car. You hear it in the shower. You hear it while you're in the bathroom. You hear it everywhere. You hear it when it's not playing. Right. And you beg God to take it out of your head because it's just stuck in there. Right. Well, that's why they switch it up and Big Bird comes on.
Big bird song. Oh, my gosh. Hey, Mr. Noodle. Earplugs. Dude, it doesn't. It doesn't help? No. It's just, it's, you hear, like, and this is what I don't understand about kids, is why I don't understand why their brains don't go, this is freaking boring. It's lame, man. I've seen this 50 times today. What if you condition your kids, and I put on, let's say, when they're young. I put on a DVD of Kings of Leon live at the Oxygen Arena in London. Why? Isn't it conditioning? Because they figured something out about the Elmo thing that kids enjoy, and they don't enjoy football. I've tried. I'm like, that is Howie Long. Look, Lukey, that's Howie Long. No. And then this, too.
You know, if one of our loved ones passes away, we're very, very sad. But if you turn off Thomas the Train, you get the same reaction as if a loved one has passed on to the other world. I've seen it. I've seen it at your house. It ain't pretty. Nuh-uh. It ain't pretty. But, you know, I would like to hear those sounds. Yeah. You know what we should do? I'll tell you what we should do. Wife swap? No, no, no, no. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's have you and Jamie. Why don't you and Jamie? You and Jamie should come over starting on a Friday, okay? And then Rebecca and I will go to your place. With the seven dogs. No. Yes? Sorry. No, no, no. You have to. Wait a minute. But I don't want seven dogs. He wants these children. That's true. Okay. That's true. And I believe in this. I believe in this. I just watched a television program that you've probably heard of called Scared Straight. You've probably heard of it. Scared straight. All right? And what they do... Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Is they take these kids to a prison. And they let these kids experience what prison life is like. Okay? With the inmates... Yeah, you think you're bad? Take a shot. Take a shot. Hit me. I beg you to hit me. I am here to scare you straight. Yeah, I'm on. You like to fight? Hit me then. Hit me. I don't give an F.
Hit me. I say hit me. Right here. Right here on my chin. And then afterwards they're like, so what did you learn? I don't want to go to jail. I don't want to go to jail. It's brilliant. And I'm telling you, I think it would be one weekend of the scream. It's a madhouse. It sounds like a madhouse. At times. I've been there. Jake is screaming. I don't mean crying. I mean scream crying. Why? Because his crayon broke. Yep, that'll do it. His crayon broke. Yeah. I had to explain to Jake, buddy, crayons freaking break. All the time. They break. They break. Jake is screaming, and then Luke and Ryan are screaming, and it smells like poop. What I wouldn't give for that. Oh, goods. Gosh darn it. What I wouldn't give. Yeah, for an hour. What I wouldn't give. Sounds like you need a babysitter for the weekend. Yes.
What we wouldn't do in my household to smell those smells. For an hour. For an hour. For an hour. Hear those cries. You know what makes it all different is that when you're sitting there and you're reading a book and one of your little kids looks up at you, puts his hand on your knee and wants to climb up there with you. That's nice. Makes it all work. Snuggles up in your lap. Snuggles up in your lap, puts his head on your shoulder. That's the best. I've often asked myself, how come women have a... How many of there are you? How many of there are you? I'm sorry. I've often asked myself. I've often asked myself, why do women have a baby again? They say it hurts so freaking bad. It hurts. They forget. They forget. They forget. Because of the love, dude. No, no, no, no, no. It's unconditional. I believe, I genuinely believe this. I believe that it's chemical. That they need it? No, I believe that there's a chemical that gets released in the brain that allows them to forget. It's got to be. Because right afterwards, they're like, never, never, never, never, never again. Never. Six months later, they're like, you know, another baby. Dude, I mean, and this sounds so cliche, I've never heard those noises come out of Rebecca. It was a scream. She's so composed. I've heard her in pain before. But this was a guttural, it was a guttural scream that was extraordinarily unnatural. And she was medicated too, right? Not yet.
No, not yet. And so when I heard the noise, it scared me so bad because I'd never heard that noise before, especially for I hadn't heard the noise because I'd never been at a live birth. So not only had I never heard a person make that noise, I'd certainly never heard my wife make that noise. And she told me afterwards, she says, listen, I'm lucid. I want to tell you as best I can what that experience was like. She said, there is not a pain that I've ever experienced. that hurt that badly. It hurt so bad. And it was an extended period. I mean, it went on for a while. Now, she'll see a little girl and she'll go, hmm. And I go, don't you remember when you said? And she's like, it's okay. You guys should have a little girl. No. You need a little girl running around. It'll soften you up. I'm almost ready to let Jay just perform the vasectomy on me. We'll do it right now. Let's do this. $7. I'll do it. He'll do it. I got no problems with it. A pair of needle nose pliers. A pair of needle nose pliers. He'll do it for free, which is saying a lot. I want to see you in pain. Gosh darn it. Jake jumped right on my nuts yesterday. I screamed like a band. What I wouldn't give to feel that pain. You guys should pay this up for the weekend.
What I wouldn't give to have some kid kick me in the balls. Yeah. Just get one in here. Isolate. Can you imagine? See, it's going to happen. I know it is. I just can't wait for the phone call. There's going to be no phone call. I was born to be a dad. I was born to be a father. You've all seen me with your children. It's true. I've also seen you when you're irritated. Yeah, I can get really irritated, but when it's my son. Forget it. Yeah, when it's your son, you don't get irritated. No. You can't smell the poo, and you can't hear the scream. I'll be one of those guys that completely changes once he gets a kid. A hundred percent. You'll see a softer, gentler Stephen R. Woods. Now, I do not believe that. I will. I think you'll be a great dad. I'll be a great dad. You may be a great dad, but there will be times where you'll want to put your face through cinder blocks. I'll be fine. You know that. Kid was born to be a dad. That may be true. That may be true. Well, maybe just an uncle, it looks like. You smell like diaper genie? Yeah, it smells fine. Does it? Does it? Does it? Does it? Does it? No big deal. Don't you dry heave when you open up a dog biscuit? That is true. That is true. It's something I'm going to have to get used to. But maybe my wife just does the diapers. I do everything else. Women who take on...
All the responsibility of shopping and making household budgets and appointments and stuff for the family. They have less sex than women who share those duties with their husband. Mikey. Yes. I'm talking about making love. I don't understand. Your wife does all that stuff. She does all the stuff. Yep. All of it. Oh, God. Right down the line, pal. I just realized that. All the shopping, all the appointments, everything. She does all of it. And the amount of time since they'd last had sex was anywhere from three to a hundred times longer for the take charge women. L.O.B. Depending on how many decisions the women are responsible for. L.O.B.'s getting it. Rebecca's not. Well, I'm not married, so I don't really fit into that. That's true. That's true. You're not married. You are unmarried. Yes. Single. Single. Unmarried. But. Alone. You will be married. You will be married.
And then you will be having more happy times. I'll be making whoopee. You'll be making whoopee. Because you're a take charge type of woman. You know what I mean? So there you go. Sports, Woodsy. Yes. Monday Night Football last night. And? Barn burner. Cowboys kick six. Field goals to win the game. They beat the Redskins 18-16. It was a pretty courageous effort by Tony Romo, I thought. He had a punctured lung. He had broken ribs last week and went in and played, you know, played okay, but was able to lead his team down the field. And this rookie, Dan Bailey, kicked six freaking field goals for the win. Really? Yeah, against the Redskins. You know, Rex Grossman, what are you going to do? Hey, did he not play well? He played okay. Yeah. I mean, one solid drive, basically, through one touchdown pass to Tim Hightower. They kicked a bunch of field goals. It was a field goal bowl in the first half. Was it a good game or a boring game? It was pretty boring up until the fourth quarter. And then, you know, the Redskins drove down and scored. Then the Cowboys got the ball back, drove down, and kicked the game winner. The new Switchfoot album came out. That is a true statement. The new Switchfoot album came out today, and it's pretty good. It's called Vice Versus.
You know what's really cool? If you go online and you buy it at iTunes, you can buy what they call the deluxe version. Oh, yeah. And it's got a bunch of live tracks on it, which is cool, from their last album. So you get a bunch of live stuff. But anyway, Woodsy, have you listened to any of it? Yeah, I listened to the first three songs this morning when I was putting news together. What did you think? I loved it. It's pretty good. It's great, boys. You know, same. I mean, it's just solid. It's a solid record. I'll play you just a second of the first song on the album. San Diego, boys. Yeah, sounds really well done. I don't think I gave. I talked about word of the day, but I don't think I gave the word, did I? Yes, you did. I did? Yes. I said that it was wedding. All right. So at some point between now and 10, just letting people know again, I'll weave the word wedding into a sentence. And you will win, if you're calling nine, Queensryche tickets. And also you'll get dinner for two at La Jolla Shores. We are official in telling you that we are just nine days.
36 minutes and 20 seconds away from Mikey-thon. That means nine days, 36 minutes away from a 28-hour broadcast marathon. And it's all to raise money for Rady Children's Hospital. And we've got some really, really cool stuff. What we're doing is an auction. One of the auction items will be dinner. at my home with all of us here on the Mikey Show. And it will be catered personally by Jeff Strauss, the owner of Pample Moose. And it's a good time. It's a good time. You never know what to expect. Insane. Broken chair last year. Broken chair last year. It's wild. How much wood they ate? Oh, wow. And then Woods also showed up in moving gear. Yeah. Because I had been moving all day. Stained t-shirt. It was kind of cool. He came in a costume. He was dressed as a professional mover. Because I had been moving all day. Yeah. I had been moving and you guys were lucky to have me there. Like you've been living on the train tracks all day. Yes. I was moving. Yeah. Like a 13-year-old boy living on the train tracks. Who was, in fact, moving. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure the guy who...
Purchased it. Appreciate it. Say it. What? Yes. That is a true fact. The guy that was moving all day. Yeah. Yeah. You know. And he didn't have a shower at the new home. No. There was no shower. No shower. No shower. Clean clothes. I didn't have clean clothes, but I did have a shower. All right. Well. It was moving all day. This year is different. Maybe. This year, maybe we all make arrangements. Yes. I was moving. Plan ahead. We'll know about the date at a time, so we'll all make arrangements. Because it was a surprise last time. Last time, we didn't tell him until that morning. Hey, by the way, tonight. I was not going to put off my move. Tonight. When I had to move homes for a dinner. Couldn't you set aside an outfit? Set aside. You say, hey, here's some. Well, I did. Here's a shirt. I did. Here's a shirt. It got lost in the shuffle. I hate all of you with a bitter. Bitter Passion. No! Stop it. Expect me in a tuxedo this year, okay? Can you imagine? Wood shows up in a tux. Done. I love it. Want to play Buzzword? 570-1949. Let's play Buzzword. Yeah! You have to pick a horse. Me, Woods, or L-O-B. What's the prize, Jay?
A prize is a four-pack of tickets to the Scream Zone at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, and they open September 30th. There you go. Lose all time. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Live from Progressive. First caller. Hi, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I think you called the wrong number, but Progressive.com lets you compare our rates with our competitors. So there are other fish in the sea. Really? Yeah, you'll find someone. No, you can really compare rates at Progressive.com? Wow, you got over that quickly. Visit Progressive.com to compare rates and start saving today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Flo here. Let's take another question. Hi, Flo. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts. Great. But that's not really a question. Oh, you're right. I saved a ton of money with Progressive's discounts? Still not quite right. But you get the idea. Progressive makes it easy to save. Right. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive.
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Ted Nugent, just 7'4", just standing up on the stage. Shooting arrows. Shooting arrows. Did you go to that show? Yes. I was there shooting a target of, I can't remember who it was, Saddam Hussein or something, I can't remember, with a flaming arrow. Live in concert. Live in concert. That's awesome. You know, this was when he was with Damn Yankees. Yes. Now, imagine this. Here's this Damn Yankees super group. Yep. Okay? You had the dude from Night Ranger. Jack Blades. And the dude from Styx. Tommy Shaw. And I think that was... Ted Nugent and some other. Ted Nugent and some other guy. Now, you're a serious musician from Styx and from Night Ranger. Right. And you also have a lot of respect for Ted Nugent because he's Ted Nugent. Right. Stanglehold. Okay. Cat scratch fever. Right. And you guys get together and you jam. And you probably do it at some rich guy's studio that's a producer in the Hollywood Hills. And you guys are like, man, we got something here, right? Sounds pretty good. And you all get along pretty good. Have a couple beers together. Everything's cool. And then one thing leads to another. And before you know it, you're recording an album.
And you put the album out, and S-O-B. There's like eight hits on the album. You get a call from not a rep, but the head of Capitol Records. I mean, the chief executive officer. Morty Fine. Morty Fine calls you, and he's like, hey, how you guys doing? We're on conference, and you're all there. Guys, this album is number one. It's already gone double platinum, and I want to send all of you guys out on the road. What do you think of that? And they're like, yes! Now all you have to do is talk about the show and what's the show going to be like? What will the set list be like? What will the stage look like? And Ted Nugent says, hey guys, what if I take my bow and arrow on stage and I light it on fire and I shoot a picture of Saddam Hussein and you guys get the hell off the stage? Hey Ted, it's Tommy Shaw from stage. Hey Tommy. I'm into karate and martial arts.
I'm not going to bring my samurai sword on stage and cut apples with it. Great. You're not the nuge. Fair enough. How about you? Jack Blades from Night Ranger. Jack, you got a problem with it? I'll defer back to you. He's a softball player. He's not going to hit batting practice on stage because it's something that he likes and he's good at. Yeah. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? We all have hobbies and stuff, but we're going to do a show and we don't need you like. Doing your bow and arrow. Jack, do you care? See, Jack doesn't care. Jack don't care. Jack is a mental midget. That's the other guy. Yeah, I don't even know who that is. He didn't have a vote. It's good with me. It's good with him. I got one other idea. Identical other guy. Yes, identical. What if we release four live turkeys on the stage and I kill them with a bow and arrow? It's good with me. Other guy says it's fine. Jack, what do you say? See, he don't care. Tommy, you're the only pussy in the band that's going to make a problem here. Fair enough. All right. I guess I'm shooting arrows on stage. I was in sticks after all. Guess I'm shooting arrows. I mean, dude, what must they have thought? What must they have thought when Ted Nugent was like, he wants to shoot arrows on stage?
Okay. Cool, man. Just don't say anything to him because he's going to freak out. If we say no, he's just going to freak out. He's going to shoot us with arrows. He's got a crossbow on him. They're backstage. They're backstage. Every night. They're in St. Louis. He's on stage shooting arrows. They're backstage. Turkey? Yeah. Turkey sandwich? You want that? No, dude. I've had turkey for six weeks straight. I'm going to go to McDonald's. Something worse out. How do we get McDonald's? Dude, I mean, I can't. I'm freaking. Tommy Shaw from Sticks. I'm going to get the turkey sandwich on Kaiser Roll. You hear that? No applause. You know why? Because they're all confused. Yeah, he's shooting arrows on stage. We've got to get the hell out of this band. I saw a monitor feed last night. I'm getting Sticks back together. I can't do this anymore. No, no. I can't do this anymore. He's a lunatic. That's not fair. He's eating raw venison on stage, okay? Like, I can't. It's just getting to the point where he's got coolers of dry ice, there's venison, there's deer heads and boar heads. I'm done, man. I just want to play music, okay? I'm not trying to do a damn wildlife refugee. Hey, listen. I'm not going to keep complaining about it. We're making money. If you could just do me a favor, hand me that cold cut that's on the antler. It's on the antler. It's on the antler. It's a real hog. I know. Hand me the wild hog or whatever it is. Freaking damn Yankees. Wonder why that only went one album. I know. Wonder why that only worked out for one album. 570-1949 is the number.
And give us a call if you want to play buzzword. All you have to do is pick a horse. It's going to be me, Woodsy, or L.O.B. M1 Sticky Fingers from San Diego. Is that you? Yep. Who do you want? L.O.B. It's a darn good choice, my friend. Great choice. It's a darn good choice. Hang on the line. M1 JCB from San Diego. Who do you want? I'll take my old pal, Woodsy. You got it. Hang on. And M1 Kenneth from San Diego. You got me. Hang on, okay? All right. Turn that radio down. Buzzword works as follows. Jay gives us a word. Then he gives us clues to the word. We have to yell out what it is. Today's word is air. Air. A-I-R. Air. Not E-R-R-O-R? No. You got it. Okay. You're going to do so good at this. I can see it. Air. Make a public display. Air your grievances! No. Carry your dirty laundry. Yes. L-O-B. Oh, man. All right. Keep your house cool when it's hot. Air conditioning. Ooh, I'm going to give it a tie. Mikey and L-O-B. There's one in your car and one in your furnace. Air filter. L-O-B. Oh, man. That's good. Jeez. Put aside differences and get over an argument. Clear your differences. Clear the air. Clear the air. Clear the air. Woods.
Did you ever just say what he says? Whoa. I'm not even sure what he thinks. Nicholas Cage movie where the prisoners... Cut air! Air Force! Oh. Hello, I mean, Woods. What? Air Force. Raising Arizona. Ah, good one. When a radio station is not brought... Airheads! Off the air! Off the air. Darn it. Woods. Strong. It came from nowhere. Out of thin air! Out of thin air! Dang it. Dang it. Woods. Dang it. Dang it. L.O.B. is protesting physically. The president's airplane. Air Force One! Ooh, that is rough. I'm going to give it to Mikey because I think it was pretty close. Okay. Here we go. Automobile safety equipment. Airbag! L.O.B.
What did he say? Oh, wow. Artist, use it to paint. Airbrush! Ooh, I'm going to give it to Mikey. Barely. Barely. Here we go, new word. New word, what's the score, L.O.B.? It is L.O.B. 4, Woods 4, Mikey 3. Ooh, it's a close match. Man, what a match today. What's the word? The word is zone. Z-O-N-E. Zone. To lose concentration. Out of the zone! Zone out. Mikey? What do you mean, oh boy? You got it quicker, right? He said out of the zone. Out of the zone is zone out. It's not the answer. I was saying oh boy to myself. You being me. Where touchdowns are scored. End zone! End zone! End zone! How's that?
Did you say end zone? Pacific, Central, Eastern. Time zones! Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it. Okay, what's the score? I need a score. It is Mikey and I, four, Woods, six. Okay, this is a three-pointer. Top Gun, engine revving music. I got it! There you got it. Dang it! That's Woods on the flute. He's dancing and fluting. It's a flute dance. It's a victory dance. My gosh. It wears me out. It makes my throat hurt. M1JCB. Woods won for you, buddy. Hang on the line, please. Domination. Yes. My gosh.
That was great. I almost want to just let you and L.O.B. play because it's so much fun. Maybe you can be the judge. Just to watch you guys. Seriously. You two are the most competitive human beings. You did well today though, Mikey. Yeah, he quote unquote edged me out a few times. Quote unquote. You know what I wish we had? Instant. Oh my God, on film. Of our mouth making the words. No! Andrew! Andrew! Let's see. Oh, we have this. Most of the time I forget to do this for you, but we have this. It's called the Comic of the Week. And I very rarely get to play it for you. But here you go. We needed a refrigerator for our new place. I've never bought a refrigerator in my whole life. I went into the appliance store. There's like 900 of them lined up.
There's a salesman there. What's this guy supposed to say about refrigerators? Well, you have this refrigerator right here. This keeps all your food cold for $600. You've got this refrigerator. This keeps all your food cold for $800. Check this out. $1,400 keeps all your food cold. So this guy's working me on this one. I've never seen a guy work so hard. This one is a very nice refrigerator. It has a meats drawer. And what you do with that, you would put meats. Whatever varieties that you would choose, these would be your meats. So there's no requirement on the types of meats you could pick.
Bacon. Marbled meat. There's an endless selection. Endless. And this one also has a crisper for crispy things. Potato chips. Look in the door when the door's open. This has an egg area. And that's a very nice thing. It's an area for eggs. You put them all in the egg area. You come home and you go, hey, where are the eggs? Right in the egg area. Does anyone know what the hell a crisper is? Is that for vegetables? Really? Yeah. I wonder if something different would happen if you put the celery in the meat drawer than happens when you put it in the crisper. Is there actually something to it? You can set the humidity level.
How's that? By like how much air you let in there? Wow, I didn't have that. And also? Yours is an actual icebox. Yes. With blocks of dry ice. That's what he calls it, the icebox. Woods told me a story that made me laugh this morning. And it was about Jay. And it is as follows. Jay, we like to give Jay a hard time. Because Jay can be a bit frugal. Cheap. Frugal. And came to Woods' birthday party back in June. Yep, July. July. Yeah. And brought some food. He did. And he needed some, what he calls, hot pads. Some people call them potholders. Jay calls them hot pads. Yes. He had some hot pads that he brought over. And he forgot them. And so he notified Woods. About a month later. No, it was earlier than that. About a month. It was about a month.
And said, hey, have you seen these? And Woods is like, so he asked his wife, hey, Jamie, have you seen these? Maybe. So she finds one. And Woods takes a picture of it with his cell phone and he texts it to Jay. Jay says, that's it. Can you bring it in? And so Woods only found the one. Yeah, it's all that was there. And so why don't you take over from there? Well. The interesting part is he had emailed me, it was maybe three weeks after the party, and says, hey, you've seen my hot pads? And I looked at the email and go, what the hell is he talking about? No, I don't know. What do I know? What's a hot pad? Yeah, what's a hot pad, number one? Number two, no, I don't know. Babe, you seen these? Maybe one. So I find it, and I...
I don't think I ever, oh, I said I've got one. No, you didn't. You didn't say anything. He said he was going to ask his wife. Oh, yeah, that's right. And he never said anything back. I did ask her. I just let the email sit there. He let it sit for about that, then for about a month. He let it sit. Now, that is the interesting part to me. And you, as you're driving or you're at work or wherever you are, ask yourself if you have a brother or a sister or a co-worker or a friend who is Jay. And that is this guy. During that period of a month, he thinks about it every single day. Every day. Every day. But he doesn't want to appear like a nutball. A psychopath. Which would mean emailing you or asking you again. Because then you'd be like, yeah, dude, sorry. Here's a dollar. Go get a fresh hot pad. You just asked me about it. And you don't want to hear. Yeah, dude, sorry. Yeah. I mean, we've got, you know, in my home, we've got. I use the bigger fish to fry analogy. We've got bigger fish to fry than his freaking hot pads. I just told Kim's grandmother who wheeled those to her. She wheeled them over like on a dollar? Yeah, when she passed away, she wanted Kim to have them. She put them in her wheel. She put them in her wheel. Now. Now. But that's cool.
Well, listen, if they were that important, you would think you wouldn't use them. Or you'd make sure you took them when you left. Oh, yeah, because you guys never forget anything. Well, wait, wait. If they were that important, maybe you'd have them bronzed because they sound pretty important. They sound very important. Well, I found the one, and I texted him. I said, hey, is this it? And he goes, yeah, but where's the other one? And I go, I don't know. I'm not the keeper of the hot pad, dude. Yeah, I don't think it was phrased like that. I said, no, there was two. And I said, this is all I found. Then okay then. Big difference. He's furious. So Woods brings it in. I brought it in. He brought it in. Here's your hot pat. Here's your hot pat. And Jay goes, that's it, huh? That's it. Thanks. Thanks. End of transaction, I guess, huh? That'll do it. Just trying to do the right thing for Kim because I don't think she realized that I took them. Because like every other guy, I don't really put that much emphasis on a...
But at the same time, I thought my friend was capable of babysitting my hot pad. I have a confession. I have a favor that they pay for. I have a confession. You didn't pay for it at all. Go ahead. I have a confession. Go ahead. I sold it. On eBay. I got $100,000. Listen, I'll give you your cut. I'm sorry I didn't get you a $30 gift card to REI. I sold it. I sold it. I should have, instead of I cooked, went shopping, got all the food for your party. You did. I paid for it. Then afterwards, you made another request because now you wanted legs. Where's it end? He did. He wanted legs. Where's it end? He wanted legs. You approved it. Mikey wanted legs, so he made legs. So guess what? So then I did it. I cooked for you. I said, now listen. Slaved over the hot barbecue pit. I paid you? Now I got. Now I got breasts. Now I got legs. I got wings. I got thighs. All right? I'm cooking it all. I'll never forget the day that Jay walked in with a four-foot-long Albertson's receipt. Yes. And handed it to Woods. That was our agreement. There you go. Happy birthday. You know, it's funny. Check your money order. I said, hey, do you want this for your birthday, or do you want something else? And he said, dude, I want that. Thank you so much. Yeah.
Oh, it was appreciative. But then it turned, immediately turned to... But we're talking about the hot pad. No, no, we're talking about... Now we've changed. We're talking about the hot pad that I sold on eBay for $100,000. Wait, is a hot pad the same thing as an oven mitt? That's what I want to do. Well, no, a mitt goes all the way over your hands. Okay, but it's just a square thing. Square thing. Potholder. He brought two, and all I found was one. Well, that was fine. Wood, if you were a gentleman... You'd replace the damn hot pads. No, I don't want you to. They're irreplaceable, Mike. Yeah, they were wheelchairs. Well, first of all, they're heirlooms. I'm just going to have to take the grief. They're heirlooms. I'm going to take the grief on the one. They're heirlooms. That's fine. You're literally going to get grief for that? Let me see it. Let me see it. Please. I call into question that these were wheelchairs. Those were bought at Target. Those were bought at Target about...
a month and a half. They were bought four. They were bought four. You can see their hands. Bring him in here. Bring him in here. He is lying. Shut his ass off. What a dick. You are a dick. He is a jerk. He bought these at Target. What happened was probably the day of your party. It was an old family quilt and they made him into Hot Pass. Such BS. Is that for real, Jay? It's actually Kim's grandmother's skin. It's her skin. It's made of her skin. This was tanned. It was heart. That's her heart. That's her heart that was tanned at a real taxidermy in the middle of Alabama. He is lying. That is BS. Wait till we take a picture and post this heirloom old from grandma hot pad. His grandmother, or her grandmother's name was Kay. It was Kay Mark. You got a say on you. I know stuff in your house is disposable, but in our house, we like to have memories. I'll give you a dollar to replace the hot pad that you left. But if you give him a dollar, you're going to be paying for six sets of these.
Since this one right here probably cost about 14 cents. And next year for your birthday, I'll do just like everyone else and just get you something, you know? Something meaningful. Very nice, Jay. That's right. I wasn't complaining. I had a blast. You did a great job. Weren't you? No. Haven't I heard about it? My birthday present that I paid for. I paid for it. Yeah, I always buy you $90 gifts. Jay says that his son Jasper, who's eight years old, that he and Jasper have started watching Goosebumps. Oh, that's scary. What is Goosebumps? It was a book written by R.L. Stine, but they took it and in the 90s they turned it into these little short, like Twilight Zone for kids kind of thing. Tales from the Crypt for kids. Yeah, but for kids. Really? And it's funny because Jasper tries to act all cool when it starts. He's like, yeah, we're watching this. And slowly he's...
sneaks across the couch until he's right up against you during the scary part. And then as it ends, he slides back across. So wait a minute. Now, so like what are the ages we're talking here? Oh, it's, I think they say it's youth seven years old. And what would be like a plot? One of the ones we just recently watched was The Mask. And this little girl, she always gets scared by all her friends. They all know that they can pick on her. So she goes to this Halloween shop and she sneaks into the back and gets this mask. that this guy, he's kind of like a mad scientist, has been working on a Halloween mask. But the more you wear it, it hooks to your skin. It becomes you. Your evilness becomes you. Animated or live? No, it's live. It's live action. And the acting is horrible. It's very nighties. You can tell it's very nighties. But for kids, it's perfect. So at the end, she can't get the mask off. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. I wonder if it would be too much. For my kid? Yes. It would be too much for them. You've got to wait until they're seven or eight. Too much for you. Too much for me. Yeah, seven or eight is about the right age. Next we play Pick Your Poison. L.O.B. is going to give us a list of girls, and we have to say which one we would be in a relationship with and why. Oh, yeah. And she blows our mind. We'll do it next. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Join this party on the corner.
FM 94.9 and West Coast Tavern present Rocktoberfest, the rockin'est party in a North Park parking lot on October 22nd that you have to buy tickets for. Check out Everest, the Soft Pack, Dead Feather Moon, Bully, the Style Tones, Low Volts, and the Heavy Guilt. If you're going to drink beer in a parking lot in North Park on October 22nd, make sure it's with us. Get tickets for $15 at FM949SD.com. Eat German food. Do German things. Wear German stuff. It's a party on the corner. October 22nd in North Park. Rocktoberfest. Presented by West Coast Tavern and FM 94.9. So here's the deal. We got something called GoPhone from AT&T. GoPhone Unlimited. And it's unlimited because you get unlimited talk, text, and the web for just $50 a month on the nationwide network that you can trust. It's AT&T. And it's a good phone.
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The Fire Chiefs Association has teamed with SDG&E to keep our communities safe. We're making sure the areas around power lines are clear of brush and up to fire code. You should take steps, too. Establish a defensible space around your home. Fire-resistant landscaping is a big help as well in creating a defensible space. For more fire safety tips, visit SDGE.com slash safety. Thanks, and stay safe this season. Thousands of customers all over the world are sharing their stories of how Ovation Cell Therapy has helped grow their hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Many of these wonderful stories are from cancer survivors who are excited to tell how Ovation Cell Therapy helped to reduce their hair loss due to radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Ovation is proud to be a sponsor of the Susan G. Komen San Diego Race for the Cure, Sunday, November 6th in beautiful Balboa Park. Help make a difference to thousands of San Diego County's uninsured women and their families by participating in raising money for research, treatment, and education. Sign up today at KomenSanDiego.org. To learn how ovation cell therapy can work for you, log on to OvationHair.com and watch the testimonials. Or visit the Ovation booth in the Survivor Village at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, Sunday, November 6th.
We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com and be sure to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation will work for you too. Guaranteed. How to go on a tropical vacation without going to the tropics. Step one, go to McDonald's and order a new McCafe mango pineapple real fruit smoothie made with low-fat yogurt starting at $2.39. Welcome to McDonald's. Hi, I'd like a mango pineapple smoothie. Step two, lay in a hammock. If your car doesn't have a hammock, pull over and lay the seat back. Step three, roll down all the windows and turn on the radio. Ah, there it is, man. Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip.
Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at Kids Price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. You guys ready for some Sunday football? Go to U31, North Park's number one bar and grill to hang out with me, Woodsy. Prizes awarded to those who can pick. FM 94.9 will host select 1 p.m. football games throughout the season. Check FM 94.9SD.com for details. This report brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance absolutely free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. Well, we've got some backup here due to a SIG alert on the 5 northbound before 6th Avenue. It's a four-car crash. The number four and five lanes are blocked right now. Also, 5 northbound between Mile of Cars Way and 6th Avenue. Stop and go traffic. A SIG alert here. It's in the teens due to that SIG alert. And the 94 westbound between the 15 and the 5, again, slowing in the teens. Very slow all over the place this morning. This report brought to you by 99 Cents Only Stores. 99 Cents Only Stores. They've got an assortment of beautiful...
16-month, 2012 calendars. Your choice of lovely sceneries, beautiful flowers, adorable animals. A whole lot more for only 99.99 cents each. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I had the worst prom. Nobody wanted to go with me. Lauren. I'm a control freak. If I watch other people do things that I'd rather do, I'm like... Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. Well, Vandersloot is not the smartest criminal in the world because he was videotaped basically admitting that he hit, strangled, and ultimately killed that 21-year-old girl in the Lima Hotel. And they have footage of it. And so he's pretty much toast. And if you're going to get caught for being an illegal immigrant... You might not want to get a DUI for the sixth time like Eduardo Torres did in Boxborough, Massachusetts. Saturday, they pulled him over, failed the field sobriety test, gave a wrong name, and then they found out, oh, you're the guy that we sent back to Mexico for being drunk and illegal last time.
Well, Gene, what's going on in sports? I'm going to update you on some Charger injury news. But first, I wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by Expressly Gourmet, delivering San Diego's favorite restaurants. Well, not good news on the injury front for the Chargers. Jacques Césaire is expected to miss at least two games with a strained right knee. And, you know, they're already a little bit down in depth on the defensive line. Corey Legion didn't play. Actually was injured in the third quarter last week. So we'll see when he's going to come back. They're saying it's probable for next weekend against the Dolphins. And, you know, not good. Luis Castillo's injured. Larry English is injured. There's a lot of guys that aren't feeling Antonio Gates. Oh, boy. You wonder if that guy's ever going to get back to. Because that foot's been bothering him for years. Years. He hadn't caught a touchdown in like a year almost. You want to trade? You want to see football? No, no, you can have him. You drafted him way early, so you can have him. I'll trade him to you. Yeah, you can keep him. All right. Yeah, and good news if you're a fan of the Dream Team, the Philadelphia Eagles. Michael Vick's hand is not broken. It is just bruised. So he will play this weekend as they host the San Francisco 49ers. So there you go. Well, Woodsy, I was watching SportsCenter yesterday, and I got to tell you, you played this yesterday. Well, this was Michael Vick after being knocked on his keister for the 40th time Sunday. Everybody's seen the game.
I'm on the ground constantly, all the time. Every time I throw the ball and all my highlights and just watching film in general, every time I throw the ball, I'm on the ground, getting hit in the head. And, you know, I don't know why I don't get the 15-yard flags like everybody else do. But, hey, I'm not going to complain about it. I'm just making everybody aware of it. And hopefully somebody will take notice. Now, what's he? We're both going to take our bias out. Okay. I watched film of Michael Vick getting thrown around like a rag doll. And I thought, he's right. They're not throwing a flag. They're not throwing a flag. And there is no doubt in my mind that if that was Phil Rivers or if that was Tom Brady. Tom Brady, you just have to fart near him. If you fart near him. And he's like, ew, ew, ew. You get a flag. Hey, dude, I can't argue with you. Yeah. And the ref will go, did you just fart? By Tom Brady. By Tom? Yeah. You did? Done. Personal foul. Farting by Tom Brady. You know what I mean? I can't argue with you. I mean, I saw the hit he took. I think it was from Chris Canty. Freaking helmet. I mean, hits him like up under the chin. Yes. I can't, you know, I don't particularly like the guy. But he's got a point. Now, do you think that's why?
Do you think that it's maybe because the refs don't like him? Because the refs have dogs, maybe? I don't know. I mean, that could be it. There was a little passive aggression. That could be it. I mean, could it not? Listen, the only thing I can speak to as a sports fan is that he's not a guy that will stand in the pocket, right? And if nobody's open, he's not a guy that you see step back and go, woo, and throw it out of bounds. He will pull it down and he will run. And when you pull it down and you run, you get your clock clean sometimes. And if he would learn to look, one, nope, two, nope, three, nope, four, nope, bam, out of bounds, he's going to have a longer career. He's never going to learn that. But he'll never learn that. The way he plays the game is with his hair on fire. But I just don't think that it's fair. Well, cry me a river, pal. Well, you can't, you know, if he gets hit, you got to call it. Okay. 15. I think it's, I 100% think it's personal. Personal. Sort of, well, he's allowed to play. Doesn't mean, you know, we have to see everything that happens. Dang it. That ain't right. Could be. It ain't right. Take it up with the refs. Don't take it up with me. Okay. So, got to get your mindset right here, Woods and Jay. Uh-oh. We are going to play Pick Your Poison.
Our mindset's right. It's good. You have to take sex out of it. You guys can't. No, you don't. You don't have to take sex out of it. You don't have to take it out of it. You cannot make it completely about sex. It's not a one-night stand we're talking about. This Pick Your Poison is about being in a relationship. We know. So it's 75% one-night stand. Right. Monsters. We know. It's not just sex with us. No, it's not. We have feelings, too. We don't treat women as objects, Mike. Not objects. I would say you do. I'm a happily married man. I am happily married. Feels real good. I'm a happily married man, but for this exercise of pick your poison, we must listen to these two women and decide which would we rather be in a relationship. Mike, I think you take it most to heart. Thank you. More than these two clones. Well, they immediately think about what it would be like to have sex with. What it would be like to touch their boobs. We take it most to wiener, and Mike takes it most to heart. That's true. All right. Ready? Yes. Kelly Osbourne. Okay. Or Snooki. Ooh. Wow, man. She is good at this. L.O.B. is so good at picking two people that you go, oh my gosh, why do you do this to me? Why do you torture my brain? Jay? Kelly Osbourne. All day. Why? Which is weird because she seems the most stable of the two. Yes. Really? Yes. Snooki looks like and sounds like a train wreck. Woods? Yeah, there's no question. Kelly.
No question. You have to still listen to her. She's fine. I like the British accent. It works for me. I will take Kelly Osbourne because they both have a pod full of baggage. The kind of pod that they park in your garage and it says pods on the side. They both have a pod full of baggage. They both have accents. I believe that I would have more to talk about that's interesting with Kelly Osbourne. You don't do the GTL, gym tan laundry pit, you know? No. You don't go to the gym. You don't tan. You're already tan. You're born tan. Thank you. Oh, wow. And you don't do laundry. Remember Jay? Well, no. I don't think I was in there. I know, but we already said that you weren't in there. And so then I go. Remember that, Mike? Remember I go, hey, Jay, there's one thing left in my life that I do that's embarrassing. Part of my religion doesn't allow me to.
That I don't, you know, say. And then you go, you go, what was that? And I said, well, when I spray tanned, it made me feel good. But, you know, it was so embarrassing. You look good, too. It was so embarrassing that I did it. And, you know, if you could just. And he goes, hey, I wasn't in the room when you said it. You look like a plump orange. I'll say it, Mike. Who's out there? Like a plump orange. Like a big, giant grapefruit. Garfield. Well, just, you know, movie. Big plate of lasagna right in front of you. That's Snooki. Either one. All right. All right. Who's next? All right. Remember that? Yeah, I remember, Mike. Freaking spray tanner. Fake-ass tan. He's on one today. Watch out for Jay. I know it. He's going to horse punch me. You know what? I have to go over his review after the show today. It's a review day for Jay. I know. Go ahead. Go ahead. Fire away. What do you got? What you got? What you got, senior? Say something. What do you got? Say something. Hey, Dinkin, what you got, boy? What's the deal, Pastor? I don't bring enough tortillas. Say something. Say something. Enchiladas! I will kill you. Gosh darn it, man. When I was growing up, you would have been outside poisoning weeds. That's right. Well, it should be. No. Gosh darn it, Mike. I did not say that. All right. We're playing Pick Your Poison. We have to decide who would we rather be.
In a committed relationship with. By committed, by the way, I mean you don't date anybody else. She's your girlfriend. That's it. Ready? Yep. Maria Shriver or Christy Alley? It's easy. It is. Jay. Christy Alley. Who's Christy Alley? Who's Christy Alley? You heard me. Why? She's got a beautiful face. She still, once again, thinks she's a train wreck. You hate fat people, though. Like, you hate fat people. She's lost the weight. You're a fattest. You're a fattest. I could help her work on it. Okay. He would whip her butt. Woods. Kiersey Alley. Me too. No question. Beautiful. Beautiful. Great gravelly voice. Yeah, I feel like of the two of them, one would be like having a mom. Maria. And it'd be Maria. Yeah. It'd be like having a mom. But I thought you liked that.
I don't like to, no. I thought you liked to be like taken care of. I believe that every man looks for qualities in a woman that his mom had. Yes, and maternal. However, there's a difference between dating somebody that's got maternal qualities and dating somebody that's just flat out your mom. It's just a knack. Yeah, she's just going to, it's like not going to be, you know. You want a very particular mix of maternal qualities, but sexy, you know, and a little. Wild. There was nothing sexier than her when she was Rebecca Howe on Cheers. No, she was dynamite. She was great. Okay, I have one where I'm pretty, I'm 99.9% sure I know what Mike's going to say. But I want to know what these two are also going to say. And I want you guys to fight about it. Okay. Christina Aguilera or Jenny McCarthy. You don't even have to ask me. You know it's Christina. Jay. Jenny. Jenny. And that's why I want you guys to fight. One looks farty, the other one farts. Yeah, Jenny farts. I know, she's fine by me. She has amazing potential. She's a great mother and does a lot for autism. Well, she has very strong opinions on autism and that's all she's going to talk to you about. And while she's in the middle of talking to you about it, she's going to go... She is...
So hot, though. She was so hot back in the day. Her whole bit is, I'm a really hot girl, but... That's her bit. I like her. She's fun, but you have to put up with the pink attributes that she has. And I'm not putting up with the diva attitude of Christina Aguilera. I just changed my mind. I would be with Jenny McCarthy. You would not. No, I would. You want to know why? Why? Because I just found out that Christina's a cheater. I will not be with a cheater. I can't. You'll be with a buttercup, though. You know, as bad as it is, I'd be with a buttercup. Oh, my gosh. Like, I would rather, I want to pick Christina Aguilera. But I can't because she's a filthy cheater. Jenny's keeping it together, too. She's going to hold that package. It's going to be good for a long time. That's right. Aguilera is going to fall to pieces. Hundreds. Sags. Oh, yeah. Just hideous. Oh, wow. As tall as she is round. Now, listen. When you are sitting in a car driving with her down the PCH, she will reach over and buttercup you as you drive. That is so filthy. Listen, you've got to know that. And at that moment, I'm going to be like, gosh darn, but I couldn't be with a cheater. But I couldn't be with a cheater. Or I could be with... Now, let's imagine them at their best. Okay. All right?
Absolute best. So now I'm with Christina, and she smells like an exotic lotion from Victoria's Secret. She looks dynamite. Her breath smells like wintergreen gum. I didn't know where you were going with that. Okay. Her breath smells like wintergreen gum. And you're driving down the PCH, and you're holding her hand, and her hand feels like soft lotion. And she says to you, oh, I forgot to tell you. I have to leave tomorrow night. I'm flying to Nashville and I'll be back in four days. And you're like, you're just telling me? And she goes, yeah, it just came up. And so then she adds that in every time she makes a point after she tells you. And then then you get this. OK, now I want you to pretend you're in love with her, by the way. OK. All right. Three nights later, she calls you. Hello.
Oh, hi. Hi, hon. Hey. I'm not going to be able to make it home tomorrow. Where are you? We're in Nashville. What are you there for? What? What are you there for? Are you doing a record? Did you say a record? Yeah, are you doing a record? Sorry. Yep, we're doing a record. And we thought it was just one track. I just had to lay down. Are you still there? Yeah, I'm here. Why can't you make it home? I can't talk very long because we have to get back in the studio. But no, the reason I can't make it home is it's going to take three more days. So you're going to be there for a week doing one song? What is this? We are the world? Why is it taking so long? Hey, are you there? I'm here. Because I get terrible service here. I get really, really bad sales. Hello? Are you there? I'm here. Christina, just come home. Sorry.
My cell is so bad here. I've texted you like 30 times. You're not texting me back. I know because my cell is so bad here. What's his name? Who? You're being weird again. Are you being weird again? I'm the psycho. All right. Are you going to be psycho? No, no. Now I'm glad I don't have good service. I haven't gotten one text from you, and I haven't gotten one. Hey, by the way. Thanks for not leaving me any supportive messages. I haven't gotten one message, one text, one call. Do the words tit for tat mean anything? Yeah. Are you there? That's when you tell her, honey, I miss you. I'm going to fly out to see you. Yeah, I want to come see you. Okay, cool. If you want to be psycho about it, you can. You can be psycho about it. And I'm going to tell you this. As soon as you get here, we're breaking up. Because I don't want to be with somebody that doesn't trust me. No, I trust you. I just want to go to Graceland. Well, Graceland's not in Nashville. It is now. It is for this scenario. So fly to Memphis and then come visit me in Nashville so I can break up with you. It's close. It's close. We can take a bus. Go to the Grand Ole Opry. My gosh. Here we go. Everybody warned me. Everybody warned me. Did they? How psycho you were going to be.
And I was like, no, he's not. He's fine. Everybody told me what a diva you are. It's a feast. I would love to see. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. I get no service. Go outside. I didn't tell you that. He's service. Go outside. What's wrong with my phone? I didn't tell you that yesterday. Are you there? You're making me sick. I am not getting. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill you. My service. Oh, ad. Ad here. Out. And I've been trying. My mom. Break up with her. Yeah. This is over. This is over. Have we been in that relationship, by the way? Oh, yeah. Makes my skin crawl.
Yeah, that would be your life with Christina. That would be your life with Christina Aguilera. Jenny would be giving you Dutch ovens in bed, but she would be faithful to you. Imagine a road trip with Jenny McCarthy. She would be like, punch Bucky Green to punch Bucks and punch you so hard. And she would go, she'd be like, isn't it funny that I haven't taken a bath for a week? She takes bath. She's so hot. She's so clean. Smell it. Smell it. Does it smell? I haven't been using deodorant. Yeah, I know. I've been using deodorant. Smell this. I would be. And you're like, no, I don't want to. And so she takes her right hand, rubs it under her armpit, and sticks it in your face. But she won't cheat. Let me punch you as hard as I can. Tense up. Let me see. Let me see. In. Wuss. You're such a wuss. She's not a man. Isn't she? Very foxy. She acts like a dude. Is that it? One more pick your poison. Which way do I want to go with it? With you clowns. I'd have to be with Jenny McCarthy. I couldn't take Christina Aguilera's bad service. Always bad service.
I've been calling you for two days. I know. Baby, I was just at the club. Bad service. I don't know. I was in the club with Jojo. Baby, I tried to call you. I tried to call you. How come you never pick? I didn't get one call, not even a missed call. I called you. I was at the club. We got a bottle. This one I find interesting. They're both good for lots of reasons, but both bad for lots of reasons. All right. Taylor Swift. Yes. Or Katy Perry. Ooh. Oh. Ooh. It's like a buffet. You have to pick one. A relationship buffet. A relationship buffet. Because that's something. It's not like it's Taylor Swift. Jay. I think Taylor. Taylor who? Swift. That's correct. Woods. Katie. You are such a sexually perverted. I'm not. I've always liked her. I like her music. I like her. She's very sweet. She's very sweet. You like her boobs.
You like her breasts, and that's all there is to it. They're nice. She's very sweet. Very kind. She took her grandmother to the whatever. Bad cell service, too. Oscars. No way. Guaranteed. No. Guaranteed. No way. Taylor Swift is scandalous. Run. Run. If everybody breaks up with her, because she's probably a beating. She's a little dirt McGirt, I bet you. She's probably not cheating on you. I bet she is. She's young. She's like, what? I didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. Katy Perry's like, she's got it down. No way. She's like, babe, I have to leave again. I have another tour. I hate this. I don't want to go. I'll go with you. Well, it's just going to, you're not going to have that much fun because I'm going to be so busy the whole time. I don't want to hear you complain. You get so mad. Just motorboat you. I'm going to be so busy. You should keep doing that. That would keep you busy for a long time. True statement. When we come back, you get to hear President Obama giving a very uncomfortable speech where he accidentally almost says Jews instead of janitors. The old janitor Jews. That's right. 570-1949. Or text them 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Never an easy decision. But when the passion is gone and things have become boring and predictable, the answer will be crystal clear. We're all grown-ups here.
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Nice. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. I don't save money from the company that fired us. And I actually just did the math in the car. And we're saving $1,045. Yes. Even though everything is like six years old, I still have it on my record. And I was fired. That's how bad my driving is. They fired me. They sent me like a week and no longer cover you. That is great. That's M1, Jessie. A real. M1 that's calling in with her story that could be yours. 1-800-777-4AIS is the number. It's 1-800-777-4247. If you're overwhelmed by debt and thinking about going to a credit counseling company for help, think again. Because the majority of those companies actually work for the credit card companies. And they make the credit card companies a lot of money from people just like you.
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This report, it's brought to you by Saquon Casino. Saquon Casino's $27 million makeover. It's complete new game day sports bar, grill, new surf and turf buffet, and a whole new look. Saquon Casino, re-imagine. Well, we've got a sig alert that is still blocking things up here on the 5 northbound before 6th Avenue. Actually, you know what? They just canceled that sig alert. They cleared the accident. The fire department's on the scene. There were four cars involved. But that's good. The signal or it's done. 94 westbound between College Grove Way and the five stop and go traffic. It's in the teens. Chula Vista is backed up, too, on the five northbound between E Street and Hawthorne. This report also brought to you by the California Lottery. With the Mega Millions jackpot at $96 million, you've got 96 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bert, Bert Sirshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by Bulky Boys. Today, under cloudy skies and relatively calm winds, we've got a crossed-up combination of swells, west-northwestern and southwestern, pretty much peaked out but still holding its own, running in that knee-to-waist-high zone on average, chest-high set for the occasional plus. At most spots, maybe even a few larger ways on occasion there, too.
Beach breaks looking fairly fun with a crossed-up combination of peaks and broken-up lines. Reef breaks a lot weaker. Overcast skies, as mentioned, cold water temps as well, so grab it when you can. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surpline.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper on Marina Boulevard. The authentic surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Had I known of City in Color in 2005, I would have played. Rebecca and I would have danced to a slow City in Color at our wedding. Glad they weren't around when you drank heavily. Oh, that is a true statement. I hope they didn't cause my depression. Well done. It's possible. No. It'll get you. Nah. Nah? How could it bother somebody that they plugged in? That they plugged their guitars in and that he's not acoustic? How could that bother you? That chorus is perfect. Ella B hates him. What? She said she hates his face and when she sees him, she's going to kick him in the nuts and she's going to spray mace in his head. No, I actually really like them.
sleep on a school night. That was directed at me and I deserve it. I apologize. I recognize that this is a, what they call double standard. I have expressly, expressly prohibited the existence of concerts on a school night. That is a correct statement. However, I'm going to see City in Color. It's another correct statement. If you want... Okay. Yep. I've allowed things. I've... You all know it. I won one from you, and then I got another freebie. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm going to be going to a few concerts in the next few months, so feast on that. A few appearances, a few gigs. Yeah. My appearances only go to 6.30. Yeah, my...
I got some good-looking contests I want to be in during the week, but I don't do them. Hot body. I got hot body contests I could be in, and I ain't competing. You won't let me. You won't let me. I guess if you were going to do it, it'd be fine. I don't know. Good thing Nathan's hot dog ain't out here. You'd be busy every Fourth of July, wouldn't you? Next on the main stage, it's my... I can't... Hey, sir, I can't announce... I can't do his name. I can't say it. It's my... It's Mac. It makes me sick. M1 Robert from National City. What was the word of the day? Correct, sir. You just won. He is on one today. He's pissed in there. Shut up. You just got a pair of tickets to see Queensryche. All right.
September 29th, House of Blues, right here in San Diego. Same place that City in Color will be. And also, dinner for two at the La Jolla Shores restaurant. Excellent. All right, hang on. Wet now? Yeah, sign me up for that. Sitting there hovering over that drop. I hope something comes up about not being married. Yeah, sign me up for that. We get it. If it does. Oh, please, diary. Let something come up about not being married. I'll call everything. I'll call that little hussy out. I'll play drops where the ending isn't clear. The answer to you is yes. It'll sound like she's in a box. Won't make no sense. I don't care. As long as I'm getting L.O.B. about not being married. I'll get her. Babe, look. Look at my hair. How's that feel? I'll take things from the ovation spot and make it sound like she's different.
I've been married 27 years. She ain't even been married one. Not even one. It's 24. No. Longer. Longer than it's ever been. How's that feel, single bones? Listen to it. Soak it and get used to it. All right, single face. And my answer to you is yes. I'm going to give her a stuttering problem. I ain't going to be the only one. Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic. Tomorrow that girl's going to know how single she is. Oh, yeah. I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. If I could, I'd brand a big, giant single on a fat butt. Just so everyone would know. That's the two things he says. He says L.O.B. is single and she's got a big butt. She doesn't have a big butt. And number two, she has got a boyfriend. Unmarried. Still single. I have it burning in my loins right now. All right. All right. So President Barack Obama was giving a speech and almost said Jews.
Instead of janitors. Common mistake. Yes. They're very different words, but. Do you want poor folks to pay more? Give me a break. If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a janitor makes me a warrior for the working class. Or a Jew. I wear that with a badge of honor. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. That made me so nervous. If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a janitor makes me... You can't ask a Jew to play the same... Stop with the Jew stuff. President Obama. I meant to say cantaloupe. Finish with junior janitor. Junior janitor. You can't ask a junior janitor to pay the same. If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a Jew... Well, now you just said the same thing again. I meant to say Jewish girl. There are... These dinners cost these people $17,000. I'm almost positive there are Jewish people in the room, so you're going to need to recant. If you're asking a millionaire to pay the same tax rate as a janitor... Stop with it, please. Forget it. Tell everybody about your friend. I have a friend, Marty... Fine. Fine. Who's Jewish? Who is Jewish. Yes, and he's a good friend and a lover. And he is a good friend.
And a lover. We're actually at the Jewish Foundation. Not a lover. Not a lover, but we're actually in the San Diego Jewish Foundation together. He's a lover of fine wine. He is a lover of fine wine, and that's why I love him. We met. He likes Manischewitz. Why are you having him go so far into Marty? Because I want everyone to relate with him that he likes Jews. Help me. We met at. Ball game. Ball game in D.C. Washington, D.C., where I live. The Nationals. It was, if I recall, it was Marty and I watching the Nationals. And the Pirates. And the Pirates play. Listen to him. Don't listen to a woman. It'll be the first time. It isn't that. And I said. Jason Wirth hit a home run. Say whatever you want. Oh, you know what I remember about that game? Funny story. Jason Wirth hit a home run. Hit a home run. And when he crossed home plate, he said, this is for the Jews. I'm sure this is very pertinent to San Diego fans. This is very pertinent. Well, so we'll have to wrap this one up for today. So good night, everyone. Enjoy the rest of your evening. And thank you for coming.
If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a janitor... Poor guy. I actually, I feel bad. He didn't mean to say that. No. The slip of the tongue. I told you. At church one time, our pastor was trying to say, take out your note sheets. And he didn't. He said something different than that. Was everyone like... A jaw drop? No, everybody started laughing. Now, here's what made it even funnier. At my church, we have two senior pastors, Chris and Larry. Larry made the mistake. So the very next weekend, Chris is up, I think makes a joke about it, and if I'm wrong about it, somebody could call me and correct me. He makes a joke about it. Then the next week, he does it. Same thing? Yeah. I believe it was the same thing. Although he said MF-er. No, he did not. And he one time said, slip of the tongue. C-word. No, he said that there was something that washed up on the bitch. He felt so terrible. It happens. It happens. Jay does it.
50 times a day. That's true. Imagine if Jay had a teleprompter. Oh, or me. It's a good bit. Either one of us. We could play a lot of pranks with you if we had a teleprompter. It would be legendary. Yeah. When I was first starting out in radio, that was what radio was. You had something in front of you, you read it. And you had to read it like you weren't reading it. It couldn't sound like you were reading it. If I tell you this story about scientists that found a virus. That'll kill any type of breast cancer. I got to tell you that story like I'm saying it, not like I'm reading it. Right. I have to communicate it to you in a way that doesn't sound like I'm reading. And I've been got that way. People put something funny on there. They did it as a bit? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's genius. Oh, yeah. Because they know I'd read it. Maybe we start doing that with the news stories we give you. 150%. No, because I'll do it. That's where the fun is. Oh, guys want to play Smart Guy? Yes. Yes. All right, all right. Here's how you play Smart Guy. Call us right now, 570-1949. Jay, what do we have as a prize? Today we have a four-pack of tickets to the 2011 Scream Zone at the Delmar Fairgrounds. Which is scary. Scream Zone is scary. Woods, would you go? Yeah, I'll go. You don't mind getting scared? I hate getting scared. I hate it. I'll go for the show. Ella B, do you hate it?
I hate it. I've been to all three of those things, and I do it, and I almost have a heart attack every time. Do you hate it and like it at the same time? No, I used to hate it and like it, and now I just hate it. All right, here's how smart guy works. You're going to call, and within seven questions, you have to identify what this thing is. All right? It could either be a person or a place or a thing. Okay? A person, a place, or a thing. And I'm going to give you seven guesses to get to it. But that's it. If you haven't gotten there by seven, you're done. All right. 570-1949. Again, it is, and we'll take three callers. We'll do this with three different people. And you just have to guess what it is within seven. Let's see. M1 Mick from El Cajon. How are you? Good, good. All right. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. Okay. We are going to give you a... What am I? Okay? Okay. We're going to give you a what am I, and you'll have to answer within seven questions. You've got to take a guess no matter what. Come on, smart guy. And you get seven tries, all right? All right. And we will start now. I am found in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Start. No. I am an anthropod, meaning jointed legs.
No. My body has 19 parts. No. I am a favorite seafood. Can't be an oyster. No. No, it isn't. I am messy to eat. No. I turn bright red when cooked. Lobster. That's it, buddy. Well done. Good job. There you go. Smart guy. There you go, smart guy. Took you six questions and you win. Hang on the line. Next up, M1 Noshan from San Diego. Are you there? Sure. All right, dude. You ready to play this? You know it. All right. For you, we are going to do Where Am I? Are you ready? Yes, sir. Okay. You get seven questions. Here we go. I am a natural wonder. Yellowstone. No.
I am in North America. 70? No. Hundreds of bird and mammal species live here. I was formed millions of years ago. I am over 250 miles long. Yes, buddy! There you go. That is playing the game. That is playing the game. And you did that in... Five guesses. Well done, my friend. Hang on the line, okay? Right. Hang on the line. Good job, smart guy. And last but not least, M1 Danielle from Carlsbad. Are you there? Hi. Hi. Okay, so you're going to be doing a who am I, okay? Are you ready? Here we go. I am an actor and I've directed. Nope. My father is a famous movie star. Nope.
I was born in 1966 in the UK. I played Doc Scurlock in the Young Guns films. Nope, you get two more guesses. I was the Marine Lieutenant Kendrick in A Few Good Men. No, you get one more try. I played the bully Ace Merrill in Stand By Me. Sorry about that. The Answer Woods, do you know? Kiefer Sutherland. Kiefer Sutherland. That was hard. That one was a lot tougher. But you got to the seven, you didn't make it. Sorry, the game is called Smart Gang. I love it. I do too. I want to play. You want to play? I want to play so bad. All right. I love it so much. And I can let you, because people can play in their car. As I'm asking you, people can play in their car. And you want to play LLB? Sure. All right, cool. I love this. All right.
This is a what am I. You can play along in your car. You get seven tries. Woodsy? Yep. I am something associated with entertainment. Prostitute. Nope. Good guess. I'm not around much anymore. Drive-in movie theater. Holy cow. Did I get it? Holy cow. What? Bam. Holy cow. Dude. Wow. You know, we were practicing this the other day, and I said, if people do that, They should get some sort of special thing. Yeah. If they get it within one or two. Yeah, because that is hard to do. LLB, do you want to pick a category? Who am I? What am I? Or where am I? Let's do who. Who am I? Okay. Who am I? And I try to pick people that are whatever's that are not, you know, crazy. You got to get this within seven. Okay. And here we go. I'm a singer and songwriter.
Whitney Houston. Nope. I was born in Brooklyn in 1941. Liza Minnelli? Nope. Contrary to some reports, my stage name is my real name. Cher? Nope. My last name sparkles like a precious stone. Oh, Neil Diamond? That is correct. They get easier as you go along. They get easier. Yeah, I'll play. All right. I'll take what am I. What am I? Yes. Here we go. Feast on this. Ready? Ready? Yep. I am a piece of clothing. A poncho. No. I have a special kind for sports. Shoes. No. I am difficult to get off in a hurry. Gloves. No. I am one.
But also two. Socks. No. I can be strapless. Oh, God. How many questions are we asked? Yeah. That's five. An adult toy. No. Okay. All right. Listen closely to this hint, Mike. Jay just looked at me, by the way. What a monster are you? Like I was some sort of a monster. A white van driver. Yeah. Listen. especially closely to this clue. I've always been abreast of fashion. A bra! There you go. There it is. That's the one I picked randomly. It throws you off, too, because you're like, well, now I'm on a different chain of thought. Yeah, so that is called Smart Guy. You want to play, Jay? We have to break. Look at him. He's so happy. Gosh darn.
Guy just skates out of the way. Sorry, Mike. I would. I'd actually love to, but we've got to keep on schedule. Love that game. When we come back, we'll call my dad to review Dancing with the Stars. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Rocktoberfest returns to the streets of North Park. FM 94.9 presents Rocktoberfest. Supported by Bex. October 22nd, 30th and University. Featuring Everest. Featuring Everest. The Soft Pack. Dead Feather Moon. The Style Tones. Low Volts. And Heavy Guilt. Get tickets at FM949SD.com for 15 bucks. Lots of German food. German beer. And other stuff that Germans make that would be appropriate for a party. Rocktoberfest.
For tickets and more info, log on to FM949SD.com. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed. As in the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically, one test drive reveals that all this new technology prompts an old reaction, amazement. Lease the E350 sports sedan, an IHS top safety pick, for just $599 a month for 33 months with $4,369 due at signing. Only at your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through September 30, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Denny's. Look, if you've been, then you know. It's delicious. The new Let's Get Cheesy menu from Denny's is great. Guess what my friend Mike Esparza and I had for breakfast this morning again.
Denny's. Let's get cheesy. It's our favorite thing. We eat it a few times a week. And because it's that good, they've got so much stuff to choose from. It's a brand new menu. It's available for a limited time only and offers dishes starting at $4.99. They've got a mac and cheese Big Daddy patty melt. I'm looking at it right now. I have a menu in front of me. You hear that? That's the menu. This thing looks amazing. It's a patty melt. It's got mac and cheese on it. All right. Enough said. The big cheese country fried steak and eggs. The Say Cheese sizzling skillet with eggs and peppers and tomatoes and all kinds of delicious stuff smothered in cheese. I mean, cheese makes everything better. So get to Denny's right now and try the new Let's Get Cheesy menu. Again, it's available all day, every day for a limited time only. Dishes start at only $4.99. It's Denny's. Let's Get Cheesy. What's your definition of success? Cruising in your new car every morning. Wow, I'm at work already. Coffee time. Walking in the door of your newly remodeled home every evening. I'm glad to see you too, Rocky. Yes. Oh, and you too, Mike. Saving time and reducing stress every day. Check my balance online. Stop by the ATM. Now there's free time for me. Unbelievable. Come to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union with great rates on home loans and car loans.
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This report brought to you by the Saquon Casino. Once you head into Chula Vista on the 54 westbound at the 805, an accident over on the right shoulder. Two-car crash, a three-car accident here on the 15 northbound at the 805. It's on the right shoulder. One of these cars is on its side. And it looks like in Rainbow, the 15 southbound before Rainbow Valley Boulevard, there was a dead coyote. Somebody's picked it up. Hopefully they didn't take it home or anything. This report brought to you by the California Lottery. I'm an animal lover, so don't write any letters. With the Mega Millions jackpot at $96 million, you've got 96 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the internet. Lauren. I'm not a crier. Woods. I used to drink a lot. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9. A goofy Mick Fleetwood is playing away.
It's the Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's Lauren O'Brien. We call her L-O-B. That's Jay in there. And the phone screener in the other room, that's Chris. New York City Police Department chief said that if he needs to, he can shoot down airplanes. Despite what the federal government says. Look, he says we live in a town that's been attacked. So if I need to ever, and I have to, I'll shoot down a plane. Shocking. There was a corpse. Well, they thought it was a corpse in Brazil and took her to the morgue. And then she woke up. Oh, my God. It just happened. Oh, my God. And you would think it happened in a movie. She was in her late 60s. She was suffering from pneumonia and was wrongly pronounced dead. Oh, my God. We'll see what's going on in sports. Well, there's some trouble in paradise. If your paradise is that you're a New York Jets fan, there's some infighting going on. You know, Joe Namath is legendary Jets quarterback.
Well, he's been kind of running some mouth about Rex Ryan and how he is always blowing his players out of proportion, you know, talking them up, telling them how great they are. And Rex Ryan has come out and said, hey, listen, pal, you're on the outside. You're not on the inside. He says, quote, I'm not going to change who I am because Joe Namath said something. And he doesn't know our team. He's on the outside. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. There's no question. Also in Jets news, quarterback Mark Sanchez has a broken nose. He suffered in the loss. His face. Oh, no. His pretty face is going to have a little cut on it. He's got a broken nose. Probably make him better looking. Probably. Tougher. Yeah. And Antonio Cromartie has a bruised. Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. Football players are tough. Oh, that's gnarly. How do you do that? I don't know, dude. I read it. I went. Oh, my gosh. No, it isn't the gay dating game. Not yet. It's the theme to Dancing with the Stars. And it's one of the number one shows in America. I've never seen one episode of it but my mom and dad.
Watch this show like nobody's business. Dad, are you there? Yes, I am. Now, it was tough because you were trying to stay awake last night, right? And it was hard. So you only got to see an hour. I got to see about an hour, yeah. Now, this is why I love to talk to my dad about one of two shows. I love to talk to him about either one. Dancing with the Stars or American Idol. Why? Because he is very passionate about his opinions of either show. He has very strong opinions about these people that sing or dance. So, Dad, who do you like in this Dancing with the Stars this season? Solo. First dancer. She played soccer. She was a goalie. Okay. Now, you think she's good. It's hard for me to watch it because I always think everybody's a good dancer. And so how can you tell that she's a good dancer? Well, you know, her moves. Last night was a tough dance for her. It was one of those real fast ones. But I think her athletic ability just is the perfect. She's just a beautiful lady, you know. She is attractive. Very bubbly, you know, and people like her. That's my mom in the background. We'll always coach dad and tell him, like, oh, don't, you know, say this, say this. What is mom trying to remind you to tell me about it? You can't, he can't hear. Mom kind of knocked out early. Yeah.
I was watching it by myself. Is she telling you in the background, she's telling you what to say, though? What does she want you to remember to say? Oh, she answered the question. Oh, okay. But last night, she was awake, and then she kind of goes off. But she kind of likes them all, you know. She can always see the positive in some. All right, now, Dad, now here's the big question. What did you think about that gentleman, Chaz Bono? so I never got to see him dance. Okay, okay. Because I have some audio here, and this is the judges telling Chaz what he looked like when he was dancing. Likeability about you, Chaz. It was like watching a little Ewok dance with Princess Leia. You know, he's cute and he's lovely. The problem is that the quick step has to be fast. Dad, they said that Chaz Bono,
was like watching an Ewok dance with Princess Leia. Do you understand that joke? No. Okay. An Ewok is from the planet Endor. and it is a creature that lives on Endor. They're usually about two feet tall. They are a peaceful tribe. They're hairy all over their bodies, much like a Sasquatch. And Princess Leia actually used them to her advantage at one point. She became an ally with the Ewoks. Nerd. You know, they can really clobber people, and they try to be honest and funny. Oh, I don't know. They're going to say what they want to say. Now, have you seen Chaz dance yet? Not yet. Not at all. Tonight, they will rerun the whole thing, and I'll get to watch part of that. Okay. But no question right now, you're into Solo, the girl that plays soccer. I like Solo, and I like the girl that looks like Marilyn Monroe. Very pretty. Okay. Good dancer. I don't know who that is.
Who don't you like? Yeah, who's not good? I didn't like, I think his name was David. I think he's an actor. David Arquette. David Arquette, yeah. What about Nancy Grace? What about Nancy? Did you get to see Nancy Grace dance? I can't remember. Okay. But David doesn't have any rhythm, in my opinion. David doesn't have any rhythm. Makes sense. Yeah. I believe it. White guy. Yeah. Recovering like me. Yeah. So, you know how that goes, Dad. Hope has a great body. Hope Solo has a great body, but man, her face. Dad, that was Jay. That wasn't your son. You know, I wouldn't say something like that. Only Jay would. You're not that cruel. I'm not that cruel, Dad, as you know. I wouldn't say that somebody has a horse face. That's Jay. He's a white guy. I think she's cute. Yeah. Well, Dad, you're awesome. We will call you again next week. We'll talk about Dancing with the Stars. Make sure you watch tonight. I want you to be well-versed on what's going on. Okay. And don't forget to take some notes, too. Remember, it comes on kind of late, and I'm an old gizzard. I'm 75, and sometimes you just peter out and fall asleep. It's okay. It's okay. Now, I want to teach you how to use that DVR, you know, and then you can watch it the next day, but my dad is so against learning that DVR. He's very anti-DVR. It's so great. You'll love it. It is great. You'll love it. You'll love it, Dad. Okay. All right, Dad, I love you.
I love you, too. Oh, you wonderful. Thank you. We love you. Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Dad. All right. We'll see you later. Guy's the greatest. So sweet. Gosh, he was uncomfortable saying I love you. No. No, he wasn't. No doubt in my mind. But boy, when you asked him who he liked, he knew exactly who he was in love. She's hot. Yeah. She's got a great body. Yeah. She's a hideous face. It's disgusting. You should look at her. It looks like a butt. Actually, I've seen butts in a better look. Exactly. Looks like a foot, Mike. Yeah. Shaped just like a foot. You like feet. She's got a man face. Oh, gosh. Vicious. I'll say it. I don't care. My flock's going to love me. I can say whatever I want. I can say whatever I want, Mike. If I had been President Obama and accidentally said Jew instead of janitor, they'd have applauded. Of course. Because I am Joseph R. Isbell. Do no wrong. That's right. Don't cross me, Mike. I'll kill you. The census taker once crossed me. Ate his freaking liver with some fava beans and a nice candy. Yeah, I didn't kill him. He had some liver with him, and I stole it from him. Yeah, I stole it. I asked him if she'd fried it. It was goose liver. Yeah, it was all right. That's when I didn't like it. Every once in a while, I'll get invited to a barbecue, and I'll be like, are you going to eat that? And then sometimes I don't say that. I just take it.
Taking out home. Sometimes I make my friends pay for food, and then I end up taking it home with me anyway. Only if their wife insists. She insisted, Wood. What am I going to do? Insult her by saying no? It's a good point, Jay. Yesterday, me and Jay and L.O.B., we kind of... ganged up a little bit on Woods about the Dolphin movie. And L.O.B. was the instigator. The monster. She was the instigator. And we were kind of just following her lead. True. But Woods said that he had just seen Dolphin Tale. Yes, and he was watching the dolphin on the little camera. You can go to Sea Winter. And you can watch Little Winter, this miracle. S-E-E. S-E-E, Winter. And Winter is, this movie, A Dolphin Tale, is about a dolphin that does not have a tail, and so they give her a prosthetic tail. And Woods, even though he is a guy's guy who, at this moment, has a dip of snuff in front of him, Copenhagen, even though he is a very manly dude, he has a very soft heart for animals. Yes. So he went to see A Dolphin Tale.
Wept. Wept. Okay, so he's watching the dolphin on his computer yesterday. In a meeting. And the way L.O.B. does it, she does it so deadpan. She's like a serial killer. Yes. It's so deadpan. She goes, are you watching? I'm watching cwinter.com. This is the little angel that they made that movie about. Nice beaver. Looks like a... He's got a nice little jacuzzi there. He's got plenty of room. He's tiny. He's definitely comparable to the ocean. It's not comparable to the ocean, but if she stayed in the ocean, she would have died, L.O.B. It looks like the area that my grandmother does water aerobics in. Oh, my God. All by herself. Woods is trying to defend it, and he's like, this animal gets treated so well. So well. And so then... You can count the seconds, and all she's doing is timing her shots. She just holds back for a second, lets him watch a little bit, and in his head he's just like, just leave me alone. I just want to watch my dolphin with a little angel. Yes, and then I said, I wonder how many dolphins had to be born into captivity to film that movie. God. Be Winter's stunt double. Jay's sitting on the couch behind Woods, and Jay's like,
Probably a lot. I read there was two. You guys are monsters. And then I said, well, it's what happened to Free Willy. And Woods is like, what, what, what? Now she's got his intent. What, what? He died. Put him back into captivity, you know. Tried to release him back, and he didn't know how to survive. He used to just do tricks for tourists. On the pier. Right by the pier, just trying to beg. And he just couldn't acclimate. Died for the sake of the movie. Here's Jay in the background. What a shame. Monsters. He's like, why didn't see Free Willy? I never saw Free Willy. This was a touching story. I said, yeah, so was Free Willy. It was a great movie. Well, this little winter, they're not putting her back in the wild. She's got a prosthetic tail. And I'm telling you, at the end of that movie, they show real clips of the real winter and the real doctors. Forget it. Little kids with prosthesis getting in the tank with her to pet her. Done. Let me tell you something. And I mean like. As touching as that is. Nothing. Does nothing for you, does it? It's not nearly as touching as when the movie star dolphin has to beg for her food once a day at 5.04. Yeah. Not to be confused, by the way, with 5.05. You see, because they feed her at 5.04. And if she's not.
fed at 504. Well, of course, she doesn't know what's going on. It saved her life. It saved her life. She had an infection. Just jumping through hoops all day. Ginger was the stunt double for winter. Should I jump through a hoop now? Ginger, by the way, has all of her tails, limbs, fins, whatever you call them. Do we or do we not give away SeaWorld tickets on this program? You know what's interesting? With most ocean mammals, when you ask where they were born, they have to give you longitude and latitude. It just so happens those two dolphins were born in Fort Lauderdale. In a lab. Test tube dolphin. Test tube. What's a dolphin? See what real seawater feels like. What is a dolphin? Probably different than the fresh water that they add saline to. Gotta get the mix. Just right. I'm sure it's just as good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm sure that any swimming pool is better than a vast ocean. Even a 4x4 that's meant for senior citizens to do water aerobics. What about death? I would think death would be bad, but of course, you know. It's a circle of life, you know. It's nature's calling. Yeah, it's nature's calling. I mean, imagine getting to die out in the open sea. I hope you do. At home.
You know, just at home, at home. Instead of in a jacuzzi. I hope you all do. Instead of in a gym hot tub. Yeah. You know, where you get to eat natural food instead of mackerel. They actually made her shakes with milk in them. Dead chopped up mackerel. They fed it to her with a bottle. Chum, you know, chum. It's what they eat. Powdered chum. Powdered chum. You know, it's not actual. It's formula. They found out that the state of Florida could actually get away with using powdered chum. To feed her. Yeah. Who was a lot more cost efficient. She doesn't seem to know the difference. You're all monsters. But how could we know? We can't talk to her. No, but what you could do is you can go someplace. You could find a little boy dolphin and a little girl dolphin. And then you put them into a swimming pool and you make them make sex to one another. And then they have a baby. And Steven Spielberg takes a look at the baby and goes, you know what? It's great. She's in a movie. Take him. It's Ginger. Sorry, I'm going to separate you from your parents. Now you're going to be a star, kid. You shut up while I'm talking to you. You're a dolphin. I will slap you. You dolphin face. Go to cwinter.com. Check her out. A little miracle. Yeah, that's her. She's a little miracle. Quit begging. It's 502 and you know it. You know it's 502. Monsters. B-A. You can't wait 120 seconds. Gosh darn it.
You have 75 square feet of space to swim around in for 120 more seconds. Helping kids with prosthetic limbs. Gosh. Just being sweet. Just trying to survive. Just a modern day survival story. That was yesterday. It'll be today too. She was. Monster. Victory. That's what I call a smart victory. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. says that she is getting back in shape for real this time. That's right. Went to choose fitness after the show yesterday. Then went for a run with her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, on the beach. And they went to get something to eat. The place closed at 4. But the kids that work there started doing stuff to close the place up at about 2.30. That's a good bit.
Oh, that's a bad bit. That makes me nuts, but if you work there, it's a good bit. Oh, my gosh. That is so wrong. What were they doing? Can I get this off your table? Putting chairs on top of the tables. Oh, no snow. Yeah. The chairs on top is a little over the top. Do all the cleaning and side work and stuff you have to do. Because at 317... They're scowling the people that walk through the door. They're making it as uncomfortable as possible to want to sit in there. That upsets me so much. It's the same guy who sweeps up around your feet while you're sitting at the table. He's like, yeah, let me get that. I'm like, hey, I'm eating here. See, now I'm not a server, and I know, LLB, you probably can understand why this bothers me, but I don't like it if I go someplace. And it's the one time that I'm actually enjoying the conversation after the meal's been taken away and I'm, you know, and they're just, can I get you anything else? I know what you're trying to say. You just asked me that two minutes ago. So I know what you're telling me. You want me to go. I know that. I know that I'm taking up space, but there's a lot of spaces. It's not, it's not like you're, it's not.
full it's not packed there's other places to sit right i'm okay with i mean it annoys me but i i realize as a server you have the right to sit there what drives me nuts though is if you came in at 953 knowing that we close at 10 you guys still open uh kitchen closes in about seven minutes but we can get your order in okay great Then you proceed to sit there until 11.15 when everybody else is gone. Murder you. And you're just like enjoying your conversation. Oh, you know what? I'm going to get a cappuccino, too. Oh, my God. You need a beatdown. I never thought of that. You need a beatdown. That's the worst. Don't be that clown. Because then they're waiting for it. See, I never thought of that. We were in the homestretch. But what kills me is that let's close the place up an hour and a half before. That's hardcore. And let's make it unwelcoming. For anyone that's going to come in past three o'clock. They walk in, they go, this is to go, right? Yeah. No, I was going to eat here. Oh, yeah. Oh, you were? Hey, Julio, he's going to eat here, so.
Yeah, just go ahead and put a rush on that. Oh my gosh. I've been on both sides of it. I came in like two weeks ago after Woods' gig actually. I hadn't had anything to eat and me and my friend E. Merrill went to go get pizza and we walked into a place. We had already called ahead and you could tell the hostess like she thought we wanted to come in and sit down. She was like... Two? How many? Two? And I'm like, actually, we called ahead for a pizza. And the relief on her face when she found out we were just coming in to pick up a pizza. She's like, I've got a party in Poway that I have to get to. And these little bees just walked in and they want to get Hawaiian pizza. Oh, I could see it. I could see it. I was like, I'm going to ruin her night and then I'm going to make her day. Well, maybe apply somewhere else if this is going to upset you. Yeah. Because isn't it a part of the job? It's just the expectation. You think you're in the home stretch. Oh, yeah. And then with four minutes to go, some clown walks in. Beatdown. That guy deserves a beatdown. Ow! Woodsy, do you think they're thinking about what time the place closes? All they want is something to eat. Take it to go.
I'm going to be that guy right now. Reason with me. It's 9.56. You walk into... I don't care. I don't know what time it is. I'm not concerned with the time. I'm hungry. We close at 10. So you walk in. Sir, welcome to Fazio's Pizza. Can I take your order? How many? One? I'm going to eat here. Just one of you? Is it cool? Kitchen closes in four minutes. I just made it. What can I get you? What do you recommend? Pizza. What's your specialty? Pizza. It's called Fazio's Pizza. Get pizza. I will take. All the pizzas are good. They all are? Yes. I will take. And if they weren't, would I really tell you that they weren't? We have a margarita pie left if you want a slice of that. Oh, I want something on there.
Margarita is just cheese and... Yeah, and tomatoes. What can I get for you? Hmm. If you want anything by the slice, we're probably going to have to make a whole pie. So if you could just let us know as soon as possible. No, I definitely want to take some home. So I will get a... Do you have something between a medium and a large? No, we have small, medium, or large pizza. Should I get two smalls or should I get... Has it ever stopped you before? A medium. Medium feeds, really, a medium will feed three people. Well, three normal-sized people. So I would say a medium. It's actually a lot harder for the cooks to make smalls. I know. So try to get them to get mediums. I'm definitely going to get two small pizzas. Oh, my gosh. I'll get two smalls. Well, the reason is because I love variety. I'll take a small pineapple. I'll take a small. All right, I'm going to get started on it. Yeah.
Hold on, hold on. Let me get in there. Yep, yep, get him in there. If M1s could see what hand motions were just being made and what would be the most shocking to you is the hand motion the female made. That was my Parmesan cheese shaker. Filthiness. That guy should be dragged to the alley, Mike. Can I ask you something? Because I'm not kidding. I'm not being naive. Would they do something gross? Because I wouldn't even know I was doing something wrong. If they said, we close at 10 and I came in at 9.58, my thought would be, I just made it. You're going to get a loogie. Next time you say, I'm going to get in and out. I know you guys are about to close. Or just take it to go. Oh my. I just learned.
Self-awareness, brother. Self-awareness. Next, we'll play sexy or mexy. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9. Hello, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out like tonight. Fourth and B is hosting Bush with Filter and Chevelle tonight at Fourth and B. Friday night, head to House of Blues for Portugal the Man or the Belly Up for Peter, Bjorn, and John. You can see Erasure Sunday night the 2nd at House of Blues and the Misfits with Agent Orange there next Monday the 3rd. Blink-182 hits Cricket Wireless with My Chemical Romance and Matt and Kim on the 6th. On the 7th, CSS with Men at Fourth and B. On the 8th, Liam Finn at The Loft. On the 9th, Blitz and Tricks. Trapper with Dawes at the Belly Up and October 10th and about the music show at the Belly Up with the pains of being pure at heart. That one is only six bucks and still to come. Ryan Adams, The Naked and Famous, Manchester Orchestra, Boxer Rebellion, City and Color, Black Joe Louis and the Honey Bears, Peter Murphy with She Wants Revenge, Morrissey and Dinosaur Jr. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM 949SD.com.
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Step four, slip off your shoes and take a long, delicious sip of your mango pineapple smoothie, savoring that luscious mango and juicy pineapple flavor. Step five, repeat step four as often as desired. McDonald's new mango pineapple smoothie, starting at 2.39. The simple joy of paradise in every sip. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up to give you a Halloween spooktacular discount. Adults in at Kids Price and kids are free at SeaWorld. Visit McDonald's today to get your exclusive SeaWorld coupon. Many locations now open 24 hours. Maybe you're tired of wearing cheap work shoes that don't hold up or uncomfortable. Or maybe you're tired of overpaying for so-called premium work shoes that don't deliver. The fact is, they're your work shoes and you're paying for them, right? Hi, I'm Ed Stone, president of Boot World. I'm here to tell you that you'll find the work shoes you want, and you won't have to pay a premium price at Boot World. You'll find brand names like Wolverine Durashock, Caterpillar, Timberland Pro, Dr. Martins, Chippewa, Georgia, and even Harley-Davidson's at prices you can afford. Our selection is so big, we have shoes for every use imaginable, including those of you who want slip-resistant footwear. And since we are a San Diego steel toe leader, you are sure to find a steel toe that you love.
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and standard Uconnect touch screen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Now, get 0% APR financing or $2,000 cash allowance on 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated miles per gallon. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Financing for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. This report is brought to you by Constant Contact. Ever feel like you hit a roadblock when marketing your small business? Constant Contact combines email marketing with social media to help you overcome that barrier. Visit ConstantContact.com and you can get started.
Well, the 15 northbound after Adams Avenue, there's an accident on the right shoulder. Three cars, one of them's on its side. In El Cajon on the 67 northbound, nope, they just cleared that. It was a ladder that was in lanes, but it's picked up. Chula Vista, the 54 westbound at the 805, an accident on the right shoulder. Three cars, fire departments on the scene, and there are injuries there. In the 94 westbound, the ramp to the 5, it'll probably be pretty slippery right now. There's a... Geyser, a water surface hazard there. Water's running on the right shoulder. Sprinkler broke. This report also brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Get three regular tacos, $1.09, three tacos for $1.09 at Del Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the mic. Tickets, please. With Mikey. I'm a pretty honest guy, and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it, as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had, like, 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. Do you know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's great. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. How apropos, we're about to play sexier Mexi. Oh, yeah, you want to hear from your own?
We're about to play sexy or mexy. Here's the way that sexy or mexy works. L-O-B. Turn your phone off, dude. Your phone's ringing. It's not my... You know the rules, man. There's no phones allowed in the studio. It's your bit. It's not my cell phone. It's your number one bit. I'm playing this song. Tell Rebecca that you'll call her back. Good God. I would never... Use this as a ringtone. What are you saying? I don't know. It's the point. I don't speak Spanish. Phones off. All right, so L.O.B. is going to read. She's going to read some things in Spanish. Right. And I have to try to figure out whether it's sexy or mexy based on how it sounds. L.O.B. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Pienso en ti. Todo el tiempo. Sexy. I think about you all the time. Yes. Oh, yeah. Changing the oil in my car and the spring breaks. Archer. Just shot a tree. Okay, ready? Yes. Estás listo? That means are you ready? Yes. Okay. Me vuelves. Sexy. Yes. Look at you. Two for two. It means you drive me crazy. Yeah.
Do I make you horny, by the way? Okay, ready? Yep. La cortada puede infectarse. Maxi. Darn you! It means the cut can get infected. Okay. Por favor, hable más despacio. Maxi. Yes. No! Please speak more slowly. Killing it. You're getting it. I know. I'm just taking guesses. Okay. I have un más. No puedo esperar a verte. Maxi. Good. That means I can't wait to see you. Horse. Horse. I wish that there was a praying mantis sound effect. It ain't no praying mantis, Max.
I don't care what Wood said, it ain't that. You ever seen a grown man naked? Still haven't, Wood. Speaking of Jay, a 91-year-old man in, where is this? Pennsylvania. Well, I'll let you hear the news story. Until recently, Albert Einzig was happy in his East Clark Avenue home. But lately, he says he's been kept up all night by neighborhood teens hanging out on his porch. He put up sheets to stop them from peering in, but still, they antagonize him. They paid on this door to get me out of bed. He says the handicap sign in front of his home is what's behind the taunting. So that's why, at his wit's end, the 91-year-old dumped a bucket with urine in it on his porch and down to the sidewalk. People holler, that's a bucket. You hear what they said?
And then that word got spread around all them people out there. Neighbors called police and Einzig was cited, but he says it was all blown out of proportion. There's two sides to a story. They've been at me all so bad that I don't know which way I'm going. He admits he deserves the citation, but says he never meant to hurt anyone. We're not there to hurt them, kids. I can just about walk. I can't hardly walk. I can't see too far and I can't hear too good. All he wanted was some peace and quiet. Peace and quiet he still doesn't think he'll get. Now here's my deal with Albert Einstein. His name is Albert Einstein or something close to it. But he's 91. And so he probably doesn't have a lot of people coming over. So if you hear the doorbell ringing, it's probably the kids. So just chill out. No. No? They'll sit there all day, all the freaking thing. You know what? Then they stop. Guys trying to watch Guiding Light. They stop after you don't answer the door. They figure out, well, it's no fun. What if it's the one time he actually has a visitor? Yeah. Those kids are mean. Those kids are mean. Oh, yeah. They are. They deserve the pee bucket. They are mean. What's this world coming to when you can't even pee in a bucket and dump it on your front porch? It's your porch. Chances Jay will at one day pee in a bucket.
And dump it on the porch. Chances Jay will have a contraption rigged up so that if kids actually rang the doorbell, the pee bucket would fall over their head and dump them. There'll be a trap door to just suck them down. Stand above them. When I was a kid and we would doorbell ditch. We didn't do it to old people. No. That would be, like, there's a code of honor. Oh, Woods, you freaking monster. You did it to the older people, like, that were 91? What's the fun? They can't chase you. Yeah, you want to do it to, like, a guy like me that's 45 and gets really ticked. Yeah, you do it to, we were non-discriminatory. You were? We did it to everyone. I remember one time, we got this one guy all the time, and I went up, I was six, six years old, a little criminal. Rang the doorbell, turned to run. He opened the door and picked me up. In mid-stride. Really? He was waiting. Bam! Picked me up. And I'm like... Oh, my gosh. Picked me up. I was crying and probably peed my pants. Did you keep doing it? Not to him. So you kept doing it? Oh, yeah. Not to him. Oh, my God. That would stop me. That would stop me. Me, too. I would be done. We did it all the way up through high school. Yo, us, too.
I'd still do it. I'll do it tonight. Let's do it tonight. I'm in. All the way. It's better even when you grease their doorknob, too, with some Vaseline. Let's grease. Grease? You take some KY and put it on there real good? All right. From my own personal collection. Mustache! I call it mustache. I call it mustache, Mike. Truth be known, Mike, that's how I discovered it. KY. Grease. Grease. I just say, hey, baby, break out the grease. Grease. Do you put KY on their door? Oh, yeah. We put maple syrup on people's door. Oh, my God. Oh, that's amazing. I know. I would never do anything that was, like, destructive. Find Mikey going around licking doorknobs. And then he squeezes his eyes shut and sort of braces himself. Wow. He's cracking himself up. Oh, he gets him. He gets him. He gets him. Nobody gets him like he does. Nobody gets Jay like Jay. Oh, man. I still think the best one that we did as kids, we called it Sprucer Tag because it was the name of the cable company. So everyone in the neighborhood had the same cable box. You just take a remote. That's the best. And go around their back door through the living room and change their chair. That's pretty awesome. That is genius. That's pretty awesome. And if you could see them. Oh, they would get.
Dad. Oh, my gosh. We didn't really want the moms. We wanted the dads because they'd be like, what? That is excellent. I just got an extra remote now, too. I'm going. Oh, it's so fun. Can we go Ding Dong Ditch as a show? I'll do it. That'd be so fun. There was no appeal to me as a kid, really. Really? No. And, like, still, I don't really understand. I guess it's just funny when the person's like. Hello? Who's here? Cut it out, you little SOB. Which is so funny to me because I've done it, and I was just saying the other day, why do we forget that we were once kids, but we do? And the doorbell was ringing two weeks ago, and I said to Rebecca, what is that? And she goes, it's the kids. Like, she doesn't care. Right. She goes, it's kids. And I go, what do you mean? Is it Jake? She goes, no, it's like kids in the neighborhood. And I go, it's kids in the neighborhood freaking ringing the doorbell and like to me. And I'm like, suddenly I'm that dad. And she's like, yeah, you know, kids. What were they doing? Ringing the doorbell and running. They were? Yes. Yes. They want you to come down. And if you just ignore it, you're that boring house. Yeah. They'll take you off the list. Yeah. You guys never did that. You know what? I never did.
kind of wanted to do was the poop bag. Oh, it's the best. I would never do that. We did it. Of course. If there's somebody in your neighborhood that was just a real D, like when you were a little kid, and you gave them a flaming bag of poop, it just doesn't get any better, but I never had the balls to do it. No. Of course Jay did that. I wouldn't fall for it. My porches wouldn't. Burn my house down. Well, I built it. That's why. I did build it. Technically, it's a cabin. Yeah. What I live in. We call it my house, but it's really cabin. We used to do M80s in mailboxes, too. Oh, my gosh. Black cats. You ever take a roll, an entire roll of black cats and put it in some mailbox? No. It sounds like Afghanistan. Oh, my gosh. Terrible. You run 200 yards away, and it doesn't stop. It's five solid minutes. I would be afraid someone would get hurt. Oh, would I be infuriated? As an adult, as a kid, that's funny. As an adult, somebody was angry at some guy that my dad knew, and my dad had to go over to his house because he was out of town, and a neighbor called my dad. They put a chicken.
Dead. In his mailbox. I've never, from then till now, never experienced anything like that. And I have never also, I can say, I've never experienced smelling death. That's hideous. But that chicken, that stuck with me. And my dad, retching, having to take that thing out of there. That's a good friend right there. Well, yeah. He didn't want him to come home to it. And, oh, it was so awful. You know, like the people that are, they call them transporters. I could never do that. I could never do that. Store-bought chicken or just a dead chicken? A dead chicken. It was a chicken. It was like a rooster. It was like a rooster. Wow. We should talk to somebody who's like a transporter or something. All right. See. If there's any transporters out there, call the show. We'd love to hear. Call our show. I'm working on it. Mikey's show.
I've got to call him. I did it already. Shut up. Shut up. Just leave me alone. Anyway, how about this one? Lesbians on a tram. You ever met one? How about cancerous pets? No? Fine. Describe the saddest moment of your life. With tears. Funny kids' names. Ballin'. Celebrities you don't like. Still worried about ballin'. Let's play Duck, Duck, Goose. Tic-tac-toe. Tic-tac-toe on the air. Get it, Mike? You do an X, I'll do an O. You do another X, I'll do another O. We don't have to say what we're doing. We just do it. Right. And then you say, cat's game. Nobody wins. How about Pictionary? If there's anyone listening that's a transporter, call us. If there's anyone listening that's a transgender, call us. That, too, would be great. If there's anyone listening that's ever flown transcontinental. Call us. If there's anyone out there that's a transformer. Anyone out there that's from Transylvania. If there's anyone out there that has a Trans Am. Call us. M1 Jose from Spring Valley. What's up? You guys were talking about the stuff you would do as a kid. Uh-huh. I was just telling my wife the other day, I couldn't believe we actually would, me and my friends would like wait for cars to drive by on the main street.
I can't believe I'm laughing. And we would throw dirt rocks at them and run. Oh. Monsters. Oh. Let me tell you, as an adult, you're like, if somebody did that to me, if some kid did that. That's what I'm saying is I'll tell my wife. Excuse me. If that were to happen to me now, oh, man, watch out. I know. I would back up. I did it with eggs. Yeah, we did it with eggs. I did it with eggs. Did you guys, when you were a kid, did you ever get chased by either? Older kids? It was usually older kids. And that's what you set out to do. Like, hey, let's go get chased. Or by, like, workers. Where I grew up in Connecticut, we were right by tobacco fields. And it wasn't tobacco that, like, goes in a cigarette. It was the wrapping of a cigar. Across the tobacco fields, they had these big nets. And you could run on them and jump from net to net. And it was a freaking blast. But the guys, like the workers out there, if they saw you, they had machetes. And they'd be like, da-da-da-da-da. Oh, my gosh. They would chase us. So we would be running on top of the nets. Oh, my gosh. These guys would be running after us with machetes. Oh, my gosh. We were in seventh, eighth grade. The greatest. Are you sure that was tobacco? It was tobacco. Well, maybe, yeah. You did it because it was just fun. We went there with the express purpose of let's get chased. We'd hide and we'd see one eating their lunch and we'd be like, yo!
They'd get up and run after you, and you're like, and you're running through the woods and, like, hiding. Oh, my gosh. The greatest. Did not do that. You never got chased by older kids? No. The worst thing I ever did as a kid that was mischievous was throw rocks at an abandoned building and got caught by the police and taken home. And my dad, he was so furious that he didn't do anything. Wow. Because he was that furious. You know he's mad. Yeah, when the cops bring you home. I mean, and it was one of those cases of like, it's not even a question of you knowing better. What the hell's the matter with you? Are you insane? You're an idiot. Are you insane? We had like a house that was going up in the neighborhood and they would take spray paint and spray things to let themselves know where they'd put wiring or stuff like that. Well, they left all their tools and stuff like that. A couple of girls, we took all the spray paint cans and sprayed all the dirt.
Drawings. Wieners. Nothing perverted or anything. We made hopscotch out of it. Right. With their paint. With their paint, yeah. My parents found out, too. They were just like, what is the matter with you? Right. It's like you committed the worst crime in the world. You were an idiot. We used to do- But I still, to this day, I feel throwing rocks at an abandoned place and shattering that glass, to this day, I go, that was messed up, man. Really? That was wrong. I think that's fun. We used to do it to- houses they were building in the neighborhood. We would demolish stuff. We were idiots. We had a shoebox of tobacco products that we called the kit. A lot of tobacco growing up in your neighborhood. We would smoke cigarettes and be like, yeah! And push over big things of wood. Idiots. Just idiotic kids. That's the deal. And I remember when I first met Woods.
When I very first met Woods in Dallas, when you first looked at him, he's in his suit, and he was a sharp guy. And it took me five minutes to realize, this guy's trouble. Like, there was no doubt in my mind. No doubt. But I was such a trouble. I was such a drunk, and I was like, oh, we're going to love this guy. And we did. But I knew. You were trouble. I bet you've been trouble since you were a little kid. I was two people. I was very sweet. Very sweet at home. Good kid. Get me out with my boys. Forget it. What happened? What do you mean? What made you go from being sweet to being pissed off? And I don't care what the consequence. Is it because there was no consequence? Because my dad would kick my ass. My parents didn't beat me or anything. Well, wait a minute. Define beat. In other words, you never got a belt? No. Now, do you think that's beating? Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is how it was done. Right where you go, where you make underarm farts. That's where dad grabs you. Because you can't get away then. He's holding the top part of your arm. He's got the belt and he's a full grown man.
And as hard as he can hit your butt with that leather belt. Nude butt? No. Oh, okay. In fact, Rebecca, I remember when I told her that I was going to spank the kids, she was like, I think that that's sick. Just like, you know, hard K, hard K. Sick. She's like, that is sick. And I go, and I go, I think I might have even laughed. And I go, why? You know, I wasn't going to spank the kid then. Right. It was like we were discussing punishment. The philosophy. The philosophy. And she goes, that's sick. And I go, why? And she goes, I just think that violence is, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Violence. I said, it's discipline. And she goes, well, I don't think that abusing our, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not abusing. It's discipline. Well, I just don't think that beating a, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not beating. Right under the arm. Okay.
And she goes, that was her last one. I think it's weird that you put your hand and spank a bear. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm like, this isn't like a sex. I go, I'm not going to pull their pants down. I go, you don't have to pull their pants down. I will be a swatter, but I won't be a belt beater. Let me tell you something. I'll be a swatter. Here's my feeling. Bare hand. And even then. I'm not going to be. Well, and here's the deal. Right now, the hand to Jake's butt works just fine. Like diaper. Pop. No. No diaper. He's wearing underwear. He'll fluctuate between the underwear and the diaper for accidents, mostly at night. Right. But during the day, he's wearing underwear. And the day that he got the spanking the last time he had underwear on, weird. Just underwear. Underwear and a t-shirt. Weird. That is your how. And it worked just fine. But I will tell you this, man. I am a firm believer in it because I really believe that it gives you, like, you have to have a respectful fear. Because if you don't have a respectful fear,
Do whatever I want. What are you going to do about it? It's a true statement. And honestly, my kids, if they didn't get it, they would be like, what are you going to do about it? No, let me guess. Time out. And go to my room with my Xbox, my flat screen. Time outs work as well. My iPad. But when you have to step it up, when there's the next level, they know that you're serious. Time out, Jake. Five minutes. No way. They hate it. No way. Wait a minute. I got to sit in the other rooms. Playing my iPad. Five minutes, huh? You get nothing. You get nothing for five minutes. Texting. Oh, wow. A minute per year. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they say. Is that right? However old the kid is, that's how many minutes. So five minutes because he's five. Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't had to spank Jasper since, God, I can't remember when. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, when they get the spanking, they don't want it again, man. I'll be a yeller. Not a spanker. That's what that was. Yeller. Yeller. Hey, this is huge. Scientists found a virus that kills all types of breast cancer in a week. In a week. I'll tell you about it. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pens. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up.
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I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything Andy at all. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise. Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. That's Chris. So there was a male baby elephant born at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, which they now call Safari Park. And it's called a calf when it's a baby elephant. It was born at 545. And this is...
Umgande's third child. Feels real good. Yeah. I bet it doesn't, actually. Yeah. Giving birth to a giant calf. Yeah, but if you're, you know, elephant size, then everything's proportionate, you know? Yeah, I suppose so. It's not like a human, so they're different. Maybe we should call your mom. Maybe we should call your mom. That was uncalled for. Well, more than that, just flat out bizarre. I mean, just weird. Just a human. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Esparza. Baby calf is here. It's getting him good. It's getting him. It's getting him good. What was that? He's so weird. He's so weird. Of all the things that...
I thought he would have said. I did not see that. I didn't see that coming at all. Oh, boy. They caught a shark at Encinitas. A couple paddleboard guys were out there, and they hooked a nine-foot thresher shark. Wow. Gosh darn, dude. Great. Why do you guys like that? What? Getting in there with those things. It's a risk worth taking. Yes, it is. Just catch one wave, pal. That's all you need. Oh, my God. Gosh, darn, it's a picture of a shark. It just is so freaky. It was at Swami's. Oh, dude. Of course it was. Of course it was. Plenty of reef out there. Shark Central. I don't know how you keep it out of your head, honestly, when you're out there. It's very difficult. You think about it. Absolutely, and especially on an overcast day, and you can't see into the water below you. You're like...
You're fine. You're fine. You're from Texas. It's no big deal. You're fine. You're fine. The only time it gets me is when the sun goes down. Oh, yeah. And you're trying to catch that last wave in and all of a sudden you can't see it all. Yeah, that's feeding time, too. That's feeding time? Yes. I go at 1 o'clock where the waves are worse and there's less sharks. Sometimes you're having so much fun and all of a sudden you're like, oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. I can't even see. It's dinner time. So scientists have found a virus that kills all types of breast cancer in a week. They did this at Penn State University. And here's the deal. It's a virus called AAB2 virus. And it takes about seven days or less. It can wipe out breast cancer at any stage early or late. They've only seen it kill cancer cells in the laboratory experiments that they've done. The next step, obviously, is clinical tests on people. How cool is that? But they're also trying to figure out which genetic pathways the virus is triggering. And if they can do that, they can test drugs that will target the same pathways, and then they can develop other cancer-killing methods. Wow. Yeah, wow. See, all those pink things that you buy and the money goes back to research, now look at the good that it's doing. It really does. I mean, when you give to stuff like that, it really does help. You know, one of the things that I really, once we get into Mikey-Thom, which, by the way, is October 6th and 7th,
once we get into Mikey-thon. And I believe that all these causes are really good causes. Autism has my name on it because it's Jake. But in terms of funding, there was just a law passed, and by just, I mean last night. There was just a law passed in California that now needs Obama's signature on it. But as long, provided that Obama signs it, It's going to give millions of dollars towards autism research, which is great. It really is. It's a big, big victory. But right now, the way that it stands right now, pediatric AIDS, pediatric diabetes and childhood cancers are all funded as combined. They are all combined, you know, funded more than autism and combined. do not equal the numbers of kids with autism. Which is not to say, obviously, that it isn't important because it is. In fact, we know a kid that has a childhood cancer. But those are the ones that get the funding. And they should. They should get funding. But when you consider that the numbers with the kids with autism is higher than all three of those combined, you go, oh, man.
I mean, I just, you got to throw some dough at this thing. Yeah, throw some dough to try to get something worked out. Isn't it because of the terminal factor, though? Yeah, it's the life-threatening. The life-threatening. I mean, I suppose. Yeah. I mean, I suppose that it is. Yeah. But tell that to a parent with autism. Exactly. You know, a parent that's dealing with autism. I mean, it's awful. That's why the individual donations are so important and stuff like you're doing for Mikeython is so important. Yeah. Because... Yeah. It's not coming from anywhere else. Right. And I'm so passionate about it, and we've got the coolest stuff this year. I mentioned it on Facebook yesterday, but Heath Bell is such a good guy. He has donated some really cool stuff for us to auction off this year. A baseball bat that's signed by the Padres. A backpack that's signed by the Padres. A pair of game-worn cleats that he wore during a game. So rad. He donated an autographed baseball cap. He donated an autographed all-star baseball. An autographed regular baseball. And then another baseball signed by the Padres. Yep, the whole team. He donated an entire season.
of Topps baseball cards. Yeah, it's a wax box, basically, which is the greatest. If you're a kid that collects baseball cards, you get the box, rip them open, rip open all the packs, see who you got. It's the greatest thing. You know what I just thought of? I bet Jake would like that because of the numbers. 100%. They've got numbers. They've got numbers all over them. Take that SOB home and see if he gets into it. No, no, no, no, no, but you can buy them at Target. I see them at Target all the time. Oh, all the time. You can buy baseball cards for nothing now. Really? Oh, yeah. He would love them. Never even thought of it. I bet he'd love it. It's cool. But anyway, so he just donated some really cool stuff. Sonny from POD is donating some stuff. We have a signed piece of memorabilia from the movie Crazy Heart signed by Jeff Bridges. Just people were really nice. Oh, yeah. It's really cool, too, because if you ask them, they'll give it to you. You just ask, and they're really cool. We're 28 hours commercial free thanks to our buddies over at Tool Up. Tool Up. That's right. Everything tool that you can think of. They got it. And it's a dude's paradise. Our number is 570-194-9 if you want to get a hold of us. Here's the deal. Finish this sentence. I think I'm a tough guy, but I can't handle blank. I think I'm a tough guy, but I can't handle blank. Mine is simple. I think I'm a tough guy, but can't handle shots.
And Rebecca has to hold my hand. And that's true. She has to hold my hand. And if she doesn't hold my hand, then I'm afraid like a child. And when I have to get my blood drawn, this is also true, we'll try to get out of it. And I'll try to get out of it through manipulative talk. Through manipulative talk. Ask them if they can take a hair sample. I'll give you a real example. was at the doctor about three weeks ago, had to do lab work. And I said, is it possible for me to get this done tomorrow? Because I am late. And I was able to work out of my brain that I was a little bit running late. I had time, but I was running a little bit late and I seized it. And I said, is it, knowing in my head, I'm not coming back. There's no way. I am not coming back. But I said, you want to know if it was possible. I said, hey, is it possible for me to do this tomorrow? I can come tomorrow to get it done. And she goes, oh, yeah, you could. But you know what? She's ready right now, and she's ready to do it. No way. And I couldn't go, no, I'll just do it tomorrow. Couldn't pull the trigger. I couldn't. And so I said, okay, because I didn't want to appear weak like I am. Right. And then when she put that rubber thing around my arm,
I could never be a heroin addict. No. Never. No. Never. She puts that rubber thing around my arm and makes me... I hate when she says, squeeze... You need to squeeze this. I can't look when they say squeeze it. Oh, gosh. When she says, squeeze this thing, and I squeeze that yellow deal, and then when she... Oh, my God. The following words are the words I hate the most. Oh, you've got nice veins. They always tell me I have... Small veins. Oh, which is even worse. Thank you. All discussion of veins creeps me out. Ugh. I stopped looking at my veins. You're going to feel a stick here. Don't sit. When she says you're going to feel a stick here, I smell alcohol. Yep. They rub it on there and ugh. Just do it. Tell me to look at something on the wall and just do it. I breathe. I breathe so hard. I forget to breathe. Dude, Rebecca could be like.
She doesn't care at all. She's a woman. She's a woman. Women are tough when it comes to stuff like that. It's still gross. Oh, and the last time that I got my blood drawn, I had a giant bruise because right when she put the needle in, I... Oh, my. Dude, I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid. That's why they have to warn you now. Look what you did. Mike, I used to have to inject myself. With vitamin B12 shots. Are you kidding? In the leg. Where in your leg? In your thigh? In the thigh. On the fatty part. Outside, inside? Wherever I can find the most fat. So like right on the top of the thigh there. You had to do it yourself? Yeah, I used to. Like the nurse would do it in my arm and I had to make my arm like as relaxed as possible. And she's like, you know, if you can stomach it, you can do this. You don't have to come, you know, pay for a copay every time. You can just do this at home. For what? Why did you have to do it? Because I have low levels. It's like a deficiency. Yeah, so I had to stick it in my leg, do it. I got used to it, though. And then press the plunge. Was it the little tiny short needle or the big long needle? I don't know. I don't know. I sold them to my friends that did heroin. Yeah, absolutely. You make good money doing that. Can I tell you, I have them all sealed in like a coffee container thing, and I don't know what to do with them. Throw them in the ocean.
No. Send him to Woods Dolphin. What's a dolphin? Can someone please just tell me what a dolphin is? What's Wood Dolphin? What's Wood Dolphin? Yeah, have Wood give him his dolphin. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, gosh, no. That SLB is going to blow today, dude. I have to give him a review. And he's going to get mad. It is my review day. Glad it's not mine. Interesting review. Glad it's not my review day. M1, it's M1 Gary from downtown. Are you there? Yeah, I think I'm a tough guy, but I cannot stand belly buttons. Navel, disgusting. They are. They're pockets of filth. I'll tell you what, my whole life, you know, it's like, don't go there, disgusting. Until I became a father.
And they cut the umbilical cord and they ask, do you want to cut it? I'm like, hell no. I don't know. No, no, no. Let anybody do it. Gary, I will tell you a story that you need to strap yourself in for. Oh, God. Oh, no. I used to have a friend that used to think that it was funny every once in a while to put their index finger under my nose. And I would go, ugh! And I would go, what is that? And they would go, you just got poo-bellied. And I go, what is that? They would jam their index finger into their belly button and swirl it around and then stick it under my nose. I love it. You just got poo belly. Prepare to get poo belly a lot, Mike. Thanks for turning me on to that. If you ever did that, my friend, I would. It would be murder-suicide. Two local radio hosts today. Murder-suicide. This is a breaking news story out of San Diego, California. The motive, poo belly. Poo belly. As it turns out, one of the gentlemen stuck his index finger into his belly button and swirled it around. He then put his index finger underneath the nose of the individual.
Who became so enraged that he first killed the person with the poo belly and then himself. Oh, my gosh. M1 Herald from San Marcos. Are you there? I'm here. What up? I can't handle spiders. You get like a girl? Like a girl. Just this morning, I was taking the trash out. Trash day. And I walked through a spider web. That freaked you out. And there was a spider hanging off my arm the size of a quarter. That'll get me. That'll get me. That'll get me. That'll get me. I was like a girl. Used to not. Something happened. Something happened. Thank you. A couple weeks ago, Rebecca asked me to do some kebabs on the grill, and I opened up the deal where all the stuff is. It's where all the charcoal is. I opened it up, and when I did the light from outside, Hit the black widow. And it scurried underneath the wood. And I went, oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. You feel like it's on your neck? Yes. It feels like it's everywhere. I don't have hair. It feels like it's in my hair crawling around. I have phantom hair. And then I get the bag of charcoal, and I'm convinced it's on that bag. Oh, yeah. And I'm pouring it. Ah! Ah!
Throw the bag. There's nothing on me, but I'm convinced. Last night I left the windows open in my car, so there was a spider web across. Why did you do that? I don't know. You forgot? What do you think? You don't live in Montana. I just forgot. Yeah, you can't leave your windows open. Dude, it trips me out when I hear people go, oh, yeah, so I had my keys in my car the other day, and I'm like, hey, this isn't 1922, and we don't live in Lincoln. You're not the only guy in town with a Model T, all right, at the general store. Oh, my gosh, that doesn't make you nervous, LLB? No, I think people are going to steal from my card rather than not break my window. I'm afraid of wet. I don't want to get in. and it's wet in my car. My butt was wet this morning. And it smells like mildew. Not quite. M1 Duke from Chula Vista. Hey, what's going on? What's up? I was calling to see how you guys doing. Having a good day? We're good, man. Can you finish this sentence for me? I think I'm a tough guy, but I can't handle what? Clowns. Ditto. Fake bit. No, it's real. I'm all right now. I'm all right now, but man, when I was a kid, they were scary. I still hate them.
Oh, even now I take my son to the circus and I'm still freaking out. No, when they walk behind you and they like pretend like, and you don't see them, they're just walking around behind you and then you turn around and they're right there. That's a real bit. They were dancing around and he just showed up right there, right behind me. Yeah, no thank you. I screamed like a little girl and dropped my drink and my food. He's looking at me and he's like, Daddy, what's going on? I'm like, we're going to get out of here. We're going to get out of here right now. My brother has a theory on clowns. He says it's exaggerated features. Yes. It's the reason that it scares the kids and the reason it scares us. Exaggerated feet. Well, you should scare people too, Mike. You're a bit exaggerated. I've never seen a body like that on a man. Exaggerated gut. Yeah, exaggerated fat. Exaggerated man breasts. I want to squeeze them. Boy, you know, in a normal man, they're flat. Some men even have muscles under their nipples. Not just fat. Double D fat. We got it. We got it over here. M1 Riff Raff from Lakeside. Are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. What are you afraid of? Spit. Woods. How much would somebody have to give you for you to put someone else's mouthpiece in?
Oh, you couldn't pay me that. You couldn't pay enough. That's so gross. Woods has no problem with stuff like that, man. You could take a mouthpiece, pass it around the room, and I'll put it right in my mouth. Dude! That's filthy. Dude! Why do you throw stuff out there? I'm telling you, L-O-B, it could have a cornflake on it. He'd stick it right in his mouth. That almost got her. She almost booted. She almost booted on that one. Almost. Cornflake. And she goes. Piece of fettuccine Alfredo. Is that angel hair? You had that pasta caprese, didn't you? Tomato skin. Hey, Henry, what do you want, a wing? How about a wing, Henry? How about a wing? Let's make some noise in here with our live studio audience. You got something worth adding to The Mikey Show? Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now, 570-1949. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
South Bay Volkswagen has the largest Jetta inventory in San Diego County, and they are priced to sell. Lease a 2011 Jetta S automatic for only $149 plus tax for 36 months and no charge scheduled maintenance for three years or 36,000 miles, whichever comes first. Some restrictions, see dealer for details. But that's not all. With every 2011 car purchased, you'll become a member of the exclusive South Bay Volkswagen loyalty club. You'll receive lots of savings, including free lifetime oil changes only at South Bay Volkswagen. Purchase any 2011 Volkswagen and receive free oil changes for life. Visit South Bay Volkswagen for details. Sale ends September 30th. South Bay Volkswagen on the mile of cars in National City. Visit vwsouthbay.com. MSRP 18,600. Residual value 10,230. 2199. Do it signing. 10,000 miles per year. 20 cents excess mileage based on approved credit. Excludes government and acquisition fees. No security deposit. Some restrictions. See dealer for details. South Bay, we're gonna make you smile. If you're thinking about getting healthier, it always helps to have a buddy. But your buddy doesn't have to be a buddy. It could be Darnell or a Jose. It could be a Raymond or a Jorge. It could be a Stavros. You just say something like, hey, Stavros, would you mind if I joined you on your run tomorrow morning? Most likely he'd love the company. Your workout buddy could be just about anybody. It could be a Tracy. It could be a Lisa. It could even be a Carla or a Keisha or a Maria. Why not invite all three of them out for lunch where you all get something light and healthy and split the dessert because you know you want to. And who says you only have to have one buddy?
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Piece of cake. Oh, yeah? But can you finish those carrots for your pilot's vision? Eh, I'd rather do my math homework. Thought so. There's a moment when an activity becomes an accomplishment, and when that moment comes for your child, you want to be ready. The Scholarshare Plan, California's official 529 plan, can help your kids reach their potential. It's a careful, consistently maintained college savings program, and your earnings are federal and California state income tax-free when used for qualified higher education expenses. For more information, visit Scholarshare.com or call 800-544-5248. To learn more about the Scholarshare College Savings Plan and its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses, please contact Fidelity for a fact kit. Read it carefully. The Scholarshare College Savings Plan is offered by the Scholarshare Investments. It's never an easy decision. But when the passion is gone and things have become boring and predictable, the answer will be crystal clear. We're all grownups here. You know when it's time to move on. So go ahead.
Test drive that new BMW 328i sedan you've had your eye on. The timing is perfect. Right now, BMW is offering a $1,000 credit on the 2011 328i sedan, along with attractive lease and finance offers, but only for a limited time. And as you build those strong bonds on the open road with your ultimate driving machine, you won't be weighed down by the baggage of any maintenance costs for four years or 50,000 miles. Hurry into a BMW center today for a test drive. The chemistry will be immediate. For no-cost maintenance details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $4.99 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Frank's Red Hot Sauce with cayenne peppers. That's the perfect blend of flavor and heat to all your favorite party foods. Like wings, burgers, ribs, dips, and more. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I've put that on everything. Let's get to the point. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience in here. Be playing That's a True Statement. But first we have...
New releases that are out today. Yeah, dog. You ready? Yes. I was just writing down the DVDs. Awesome. Were you? Yes, I was. The new Blink-182 is out. Mike, it's called Neighborhoods. You know why I like it? Because it's what I expected. It sounds like Blink. Yeah. All right, so this is the new Chicken Foot. You know who these guys are? Yeah. This is Hagar. Yeah, Hagar, Chad Smith, and the Chili Peppers, and some other dudes. Sounds like country. Yeah. Is that Hagar? Michael Anthony's in the band. Yeah, he is. I'm Ben Haley. I call him the background. Oh, that's Sammy. Yeah. I like that. I love Sammy's voice. I know you do. Oh, that's great. I was a Diamond Dave guy myself. You didn't like Sammy at all? He's all right. Oh. That's okay. Oh. I don't have to agree on everything. Uh-oh. I know you're very excited about this one today. The new Gloria Estefan is out. Miss Little Havana. Congratulations, Mike. Thank you. You're welcome. New ringtone for you, my friend. Yeah, 100%.
Must miss. This will be definitely playing in South Beach. Oh, yeah. Like something your aunt would, well, my aunt would listen to. Yeah, and be really in on. The new Leanne Rimes is out, Lady and Gentleman. Ah, she's got a good voice. She's got perfect pitch. Does she really? Hey, listen. She can't stay faithful to that husband, but I'll tell you what, she can carry a tune like nobody's business. Well, in a different vein, the new Mastodon is out. The Hunter. See you. Call me. I usually have it on at the dentist's office. Yeah. Yes. The psychiatrist's office. I feel like if I listened to that enough, I'd kill someone. I actually play it at eulogies. Yes.
It's pretty awake when you listen to that, huh? Absolutely. One of my favorites, Matthew Sweet, has a new record out, Modern Art. Might have lost a step or two. Maybe I just don't. I don't get it. His old stuff is really good. The new Switchfoot is out, Vice Versus. I ain't mad at that. Me neither, my brother. That's real good. And finally, the new Wilco record is out, The Whole Love. I do not have the Wilco one. I had a boy Jay Bird. Oh, uh-oh. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Oh, boy. Say what? Wilco. Is there Wilco? It was not on your list, my furry little friend. Roger, Wilco. Right here on the email. Well, not on my email. Oh, yeah. Must have jumped off there. Oh, wow. I will look it up. Yeah. And out on DVD today, The Ledge.
Go for it, and L'Amour Fou, which means crazy love. Oh. I knew that from The Sopranos. Is the movie Crazy Love or L'Amour Fou? L'Amour Fou is what it's called. You want to play That's a True Statement? Yes. Here's what I do. I'm going to reach in, pull out a true statement, read it. Whoever said it has to then say, That's a true statement. And back it up. Fucking getting hairy, this game. The Super Bowl is a bit. That's a true statement. You said that? I said it. I said it. I said it. And I believe it. It has become a bit. It's become a five-hour bit that is less about football. Championship game. Yes. It's less about football than it is about halftime performances, freaking commercials. You know what? You want to make the Super Bowl right?
Have it on a Saturday so that everybody can go have a good time, sleep it off on Sunday, go to work, ready to go, Monday morning. Blasphemy. Those seem like two different issues you have. It is a bit. Blasphemy. It's a bit now. You don't like the long production or you don't like that it's on a Sunday? Both. It's a bit. Yeah. Since I have to sit through the commercials, I'd rather they be boring and lame. No, but that's what it's all about now. I don't like the fact that the commercials might... actually be worth watching for once. I like the commercials. Of course you do. They're entertaining. It's less about the game and the two champions battling it. You know what it's about? It's about freaking Leanne Rimes at halftime doing a stupid show with the USC marching band. So what would you rather see? The USC marching band? No. Up with people? No. What do you want? Something cool. Something real, real cool. Not Janet Jackson's boob popping out. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's not about the game anymore. It's about... So unless it's the bands that are on your iPod. No. Yeah, if Kings of Leon... That'd be rad. It'd still be a bit. It's still a band. That would be good, though.
Oh, my God. It's a bit. The Super Bowl's a bit. You are something else. It's about going to somebody's house. I was sure Jason R. It's an event. Eating freaking blasphemy. Eating brie and drinking Chardonnay and a bunch of women coming and going, oh, what are the commercials? What is Doritos doing this year? How much of a buildup would it be if you watched the game and you're like, well, that's it. That's all that there was. Good. It's a bit. I don't need to. Football is entertaining. If the Super Bowl was like every other game, that would suck. It needs to be an event. Yeah, it needs to be about the game. It is about the game. It's not. It's about the commercials. It's about the halftime show. That adds to it. It's the pomp and circumstance. In the end, we remember who won, not what the Doritos commercial was. Who won last year? I don't remember. There you go. Greenback. There you go. Exactly. I didn't watch it last year. I know who wrote this. Forgiveness is a bit. No one ever truly forgives anyone. That's a true statement. It's true. You don't ever really forgive. You may say, it sounds so good to say, hey, I forgive you. But boy, you will keep that little nugget in the back of your head for the rest of your life. It is a bit. The only thing you just proved.
Is that you never forget, which I do agree with. They're almost one and the same. They hold each other's hand. Forgiveness and forgetting. Hold each other's hand. Somebody could have cheated on you. Somebody could have had a radio show with you and left you on your own. You can say you forgive them, but you don't. You don't believe that? No. You do not believe that I forgive Eddie, Ashley? No. Hell no. You don't. Hell no. I'm telling you. I can't trust them as far as I could throw them. I'm telling you. And that one's so fresh. Maybe I have to examine it. And maybe there is some parts that I hate to say that I don't forgive it. Because what is forgiveness? Now you've got to look it up. That's my bit. What does it mean? LLB agrees. I agree. Forgive means stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone. I haven't forgiven. You can say you can't. Because anger is hurt, sadness, and fear, and I'm still... Did I just blow your mind? Yeah, you blew my mind. But it isn't a bit, because there are plenty of people. The girl that ruined me for cheating on me, I am no longer angry.
Or resentful for that. Not at all. Forgiveness is not so much as a bit as people say they forgive when they really haven't. That's kind of what I mean. You're able to forgive things and be over it, but a lot of people say, I forgive you when they really don't. If you were still alone and living in an apartment, you'd still be angry and resentful. We had all this. It was so special and you effed it up. For that one, and just like the one that you mentioned with my old crew, I think time will go by. See, but that's not supposed to be the case. That's not supposed to be the case. I'm supposed to forgive. Right. That's the thing, man. And that means that I'm supposed to, like, it's not supposed to bug me anymore? And it does. I guess? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. It's a bit, man, and it sounds really good to say. I forgive you. Do you? Wait a minute, though. Wait. There have been things...
that you've done that have ticked me off that I still think about. But there's other stuff that you've done that have ticked me off that I don't think about at all. It doesn't bother me. There are degrees, I believe, of actions that will lead to forgiveness. Now, if I spill your coffee and ruin your iPhone, you're going to be pissed at me. You're going to forgive me. You're going to get over it. I'm going to buy you a new iPhone. And you'll probably never bring it up. And if you do, it'll be to be funny. But if I, I don't think that definition is correct. But if I, let's say I went out tonight and got hammered and didn't come to work tomorrow because I was too hung over to make it into work. Dude, I would talk to you that afternoon. And at the end of the day, you go, all right, dude, I forgive you. I love you. I forgive you. But you wouldn't. You really honestly wouldn't. But you know what else I wouldn't do? I wouldn't tell you right then. I wouldn't say to you that day. I wouldn't be like, I forgive you, blah, blah, blah. I'd be pissed. And see, that's why I don't, I don't know about that definition because I'm like, I don't think anger qualifies. I think you could be angry and forgive somebody. It means you've let it go. Yeah. You don't forget that it happened. I think you're right. You don't just have a memory lapse. I think you're right. But if you still harbor any sort of ill will towards them. I did a lot of thinking about it, man. I really did. Isn't there a difference between ill will and anger? Yeah, ill will was a bad choice. Any sort of resentment, anger, pain. Well, yeah.
There might be some of that. Might be. I mean, not necessarily. I mean, it's just a radio show. What's the big deal? It's killing me. It's killing me. Okay, okay, okay. I'm fine. It was called The Mikey Show. Still is. Now you have a new Mikey Show. Yeah, it's still called The Mikey Show. Hello. Hi. Really? Hello. I'll come out here and rough talk to you and run him off. Hey, rough talk to you and ran you off. Woods says, you know what? One of the worst things that Woods says to me just is an arrow in my heart. Sorry I'm not B-Rob, dude. And he does it just to rouse me. I'll write some parodies or something. Oh, gosh. Sorry.
Just do the best I can to show up every day. I hate it. Just come in. Just try to wear it. I hate it. Sorry. Get Dallas tattooed across your throat. Yeah. Just call me Dallas Steve if that makes you feel better. All right? Dallas Steve from now on. How dare you. DW. You can do it. Let's make some noise. Let's make some noise. FM 94.9 and West Coast Tavern present Rocktoberfest, the rockin'est party in a North Park parking lot on October 22nd that you have to buy tickets for. Check out Everest, the Soft Pack, Dead Feather Moon, Bully, the Style Tones, Low Volts, and the Heavy Guilt. If you're gonna drink beer in a parking lot in North Park on October 22nd, make sure it's with us. Get tickets for 15 bucks at FM949SD.com.
Eat German food. Do German things. Wear German stuff. It's a party on the corner. October 22nd in North Park. Rocktoberfest. Presented by West Coast Tavern and FM 94.9. With all the attention we gave to features in the new 2012 Dodge Charger, like over 60 standard and available safety and security features and standard Uconnect touchscreen, you might be wondering about the performance. Well, open the hood. That engine you see gives Charger an impressive 292 horses and best-in-class 31 miles per gallon highway with an available new 8-speed automatic to turn all that power into crisp forward motion. Now close the hood and wonder no more. The new Dodge Charger. Now get 0% APR financing or $2,000 cash allowance on 2011 Dodge Charger and Challenger. Visit your SoCal Dodge dealer. EPA estimated miles per gallon. Actual mileage varies. Wards vehicle segmentation. Finances for well-qualified buyers through Ally. Not all buyers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Offers end October 31, 2011. Dodge is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. This is Dan Tullis, and I just called Joel Clark, one of Select Quote Insurance Services' term life agents. Hi, Mr. Tullis. Joel, how does Select Quote save you money on term life insurance? Well, Buyers is all about choosing the right company.
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Advanced Formula Cell Therapy. Listen to what they're going to do. A portion of each... Purchase of the Special Pink System will be donated to selected nonprofit organizations that advance cancer research, education, and support. And in addition to the funds raised through the purchase of the Special Pink System, the Ovation Nation team will participate in Susan G. Komen, San Diego's Race for the Cure, being held on November 6th here in Balboa Park. So join them by signing up today at KomenSanDiego.org. Now, how do you get the product? You've got to log on to OvationHair.com, and when you do, be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you'll get a special... introductory discount. I know you've been wanting to try Ovation Cell Therapy. Now's the time to do it. So that's OvationHair.com and select FM949 at checkout to get your special introductory discount. New, youthful, innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list. That's because the 2011 lineup of Mercedes-Benz vehicles is the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class. Take the C300 Sport Sedan, a rare combination of luxurious refinement and racing pedigree.
Its agility control suspension lets it handle with precision, even when driven hard. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2011 C300 sports sedan, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Lease the 2011 C300 sports sedan, an IIHS top safety pick, for just $349 a month for 33 months with $3,894 due at signing. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through September 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. You're okay. Walk to the Mikey Show. Come on! With Mikey. Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be guy-ish. Woods. But I'm super gullible. Lauren. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody. For their insight. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Oh, great. Hope I like the warm-up back on FM 94.9. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. It's not warm when she's awake. Jason, I just said that I'm afraid to do your review, and I want to do your review with you in one room and me in the other room so you can't hit me. I'm not going to hit you, aren't you? I'm going to look at you.
In a hateful way. No. I only have love. Mackie, I wouldn't hurt you. You know that. I'd just stab you with my eyes. Jay is like a row of dominoes. And we're like the marble that just comes closer and closer. And one day we're going to knock that old SOB down. We haven't hit that first domino yet. But you can tell. He's on his myriad today like a madman. Never seen him like this. He's on one. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you to Fresh Healthy Vending. It's based right here in San Diego, and it is fresh, healthy, and they are doing vending machines that are filled with healthy, natural food. Really, really good. They're on a mission to replace 2,000 unhealthy vending machines with healthy ones.
And they give you 100% juices and vegetables and fruits and smoothies and yogurts and stuff like that. And they got a website. It's freshandhealthy. Don't try to stop them, Mike. That's right, Mike. Don't try to stop what they're trying to do. Don't protest it. Just let them be healthy. Back off, Jay, for a while. Listen to the murder. That was a different Southern guy. Justin Bieber. He rented out the Staples Center in L.A. What's that? So that he and his girlfriend Selena Gomez could watch Titanic alone. Got to second base that night, player. He rented out the Staples Center. This is why kids should not be given excessive amounts of money. Did you hear he actually got it for free? They comped him for the night. No, it's in Compton. It's actually not too far. They comped him the Staples Center for the night because they had no events scheduled and he has sold it out three times. Yeah, why not? It's a perk. My God. Can you imagine? Why don't you just reinforce that he's got a silver spoon shoved in his mouth? You know, to be honest with you, I don't think that watching Titanic, I don't think watching a movie in the Staples Center would be that badass. I think it would kind of suck. But if it was just you and you could sit there and go,
Look at me. Yeah. All that I've got would be pretty cool. I guess. I guess. But it would almost seem cooler if it was like a really, really awesome movie theater. And you got that to yourself. Like the one in Del Mar. Yeah. And there's no one in there. And you got that to yourself. But I just think it's freakish. Yeah. But I just, I'm sitting, you're sitting on cement on a chair. Oh, I'm sure they decked it. Okay. So you're in Staples Center. You're sitting on a couch in Staples Center on the cement. And you're... You could do it in the dome. Bone in the dome. Do they do that? Justin Biebs? Oh, of course he does. He's a kid. All kids do it. They love it, mate. They love to make sex. I bet they did it every which way. Sitting there watching Titanic and the Staples Center making sex. Yeah, they probably didn't even care. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get late.
Titanic? You couldn't get anything more recently? I know. That's what they're, yeah. This must be their favorite movie. It's their movie. Three hours long. Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry. Hold on. I won't tell you how. Shut up, girl. I won't tell you how it ends. You ain't finna cry? I am going to cry. You ain't going to cry, girl. Please, you're sleeved. Blow my nose. Yeah, take your shirt off. I already did that twice. My phone got hacked, remember? That's true. It wasn't me. Oh, somebody. You guys okay? Can we get you anything? Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. Sorry. I'm trying to get the third. Do you have like a real man back there? Yo, that's a real man. Are you? Aren't I? Excuse me, miss? I just got you the Staples Center, girl. Miss? Yes. Would you or your girlfriend like to have anything else before? Yo, man. She's not my girlfriend. I'm Justin Bieber. She's not my girlfriend anymore. Justine, I'm sorry. This is Justin. Sorry. Is it? I'm from Canada. I'm not. I'm from Canada. So am I. I don't know. Justine. He is, too. I don't know why he talks like that. Like what? I've never heard of him. Like your ghetto? I am ghetto, girl. I'm from Toronto. Excuse me, ma'am. The hood of Toronto. Excuse me, ma'am. Yeah. Did this young man have amnesia? What's amnesia? It's when you get your head hurt, and then when you wake up, you don't... I thought that was called amnesia. What did I say? I thought you said amnesia. I think you said amnesia. If I did, then...
I apologize because that is not the way that it's said. Yo, man, what's that mean? Sorry, sorry, sorry. What I meant to say was amnesia. Ain't got neither, man. Ain't got amnesia or amnesia. I'll take some ambrosia, though. Why are you talking like you're African-American? Because I am. He thinks he is. But he's a white young man. Because he's friends with Usher, so he thinks he is. I can almost see through you. You're like what they put spring rolls in. I'm a light-skinned brother is what they call me. No. You have translucent skin that is almost alabaster. My friend Eric Terman calls me his light-skinned brother. He's my friend. Who's Eric? He's a friend. He's my only black friend. Okay, can you explain that? He's my only black friend. Got it. He's a listener. Got it. He's a big fan. He's a Justin Bieber? Yes, big fan of the Bs. What about Usher? Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, anyway, this is a huge story, and I thought it was pretty crazy. It is. Hillary, how are you? I'm good. Is there any movies that come on that every time they're on, doesn't matter if it's cable or whatever, you'll watch it if it's on?
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Notting Hill. My wife. Every time it's on, Notting Hill. Me too. Every time. I'm like, how many times? You've seen it every time. Just because it's on doesn't mean you've got to watch it. Mine is Singles. Love it. I love it. Such a good movie. Good soundtrack. That movie when it came out, I still do. Or Almost Famous, Camera Crow. Yep. Woodsy likes Crazy Heart whenever it's on. Because it's on every day. I'm like, great, here's a party. He's peeing in a bottle. Gotta watch it. This is why I can't have cable, see? I'd find an excuse to watch pretty much anything that was on. I only watch those documentary shows. There's nothing that... Yet you have every movie service available to man. Can I tell you which new show I am embarrassingly addicted to all of a sudden? What's that? It's called Parenthood. It's on Tuesday nights. Oh, I love that show. Okay. I, like, love it. Is it after the movie? Is it, like, based after the movie, Parenthood? No, but it's about this family. Oh, yeah. I love it. I, like, could not love it. I adore it. Is that the show?
That's up all night. Will Arnett. That's pretty funny. Maya Rudolph. I think she's supposed to be Oprah, isn't she? I think so. So what is Parenthood about? Parenthood is about this family and the mom and dad, and they're still married, and they have some adult children who also have children now, and it's kind of about each of their adult children have different things going on in their lives. That's Sally Field? No. That's brothers and sisters. One of the kids is autistic, so it's just like... One of the children has Asperger's. Oh, and they handle it really well. It's definitely something they deal with quite a bit.
Asperger's. Autism. Asperger's. Asperger's. And, you know, another one has two grown kids and she's starting to date again. And it's just one couple struggling with infertility and the other one lost his job. And it's, I don't know what it is, but I, like, every week I am like, I always get choked up. And I seriously, like, it's embarrassing. It's a drama, right? It's a drama. But it's not always heavy. It's good. It sounds good. I would watch it. All right, Hillary, what do you got coming up? I grabbed the new Florence and the Machine. I'm going to play another song off the new Social D record. I will play Desert Island Discs. I picked one. This person must have really been into music in the 90s because they chose some of the first bands of the 90s. And a band who's playing fourth and beat tonight. Bread. Coming back, exactly. There you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We will come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it all over again. The Mikey Show is out.