The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 12/14/10

0:06Holy night, stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error high. Till he appeared and the soul felt his worth. That's right. A thrill of home. The way we were rejoicing. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. The diaphragm. That's how you get it. Push everything you have. He didn't blow a gasket. Yeah. Get up there. Oh!

3:04Sharp. Very sharp. He nailed it. He really did. You know what he did? He owned it. Yeah, he did. He owned it. It's one thing you can say. He did own it. Hold that note. There you go. That's how we do it. Oh, my God. Brilliant. It's another reason that I'm always sad when the holidays are over because we don't get to hear it until the day after Thanksgiving the next year. It's true. Too long. But I'll tell you, it's worth the wait is what it is. Welcome to the Mikey Show. It's just a couple of days before the big event. I'm looking at our countdown ticker for the Mikey-thon. Oh, don't say it. And it looks like we've got one day.

4:0423 hours and 52 minutes. Oh my gosh. How dare you. And then we broadcast for 28 straight hours. We just broadcast. You ever just a sadist real good? No. Woodsy, no music, no commercials, bro. Just us. 28 straight. I am supposed to be playing at like 5 a.m. I don't know if I can. Aren't I going to be cashed? The next day, Friday morning. Is my voice going to be cashed? I'm going to sound like, oh, holy night. You are. Great. Your voice will be blown out. And then we'll be playing your audio for years. Years to come. Oh, man. 570-1949 is our number. You can call at the beginning and end of every show. So right now is your time to call in. And you can also text us. 949mikey at gmail.com is the number that you type into your cell phone if you want to text. I have a question for you. Go ahead, Woodsy. You said keep all routines the same, right? Does that mean you'll be coming in the same time? Yeah.

5:04You will? Yeah. But I want a ride. I'll have to bring you early. But is that going to throw off your routine? Yeah, but I'll give to you before me. I'll think of you. You are a good brother. Yeah, I got to pick you up at what time then? Whatever. 4.30? Four. Oh, wait. Yeah. Four. Four. Pick me up at four. Yeah, it's only 20 minutes earlier than my normal. Then you usually leave? And I can blast cigs in your car, right? No, because no. No. All right. No, because Rebecca's driving and... I can listen to the deaf tones as loud as I want, right? No. Okay. Rebecca's driving? Yeah, she drives me here. How'd you get here? You drive here? I haven't thought about that. Yeah, you should get a ride. I'm going to be leaving my car probably until Saturday. Really? The FMC drive you? He'll pick me up. I'm not going to ask him to drive me that early. He has a very different schedule than me. He's a musician. He plays my gigs. He'll be rolling in about the time you're going to work. Maybe we get you. Maybe we'll get you. Yeah. Sweetly. Be real nice. Can I eat a donut in your car? Yeah. Okay. You can do that. Mike does. Are we going to start this early? Yeah. Here we go. A towel has a bib. He also has a baby bib. I do, yeah. You ever suck down donuts on the way to work every day? No. At a fresh DP? At about four cigs? Oh, wow. It's going to throw me off. It's going to throw you off, too. Throw me off.

6:34You'll be fine. Will I? Yeah. It'll be the start of your New Year's resolution that I'm imposing on you. To not suck down donuts and cigs? Yeah. Perfect. I just thought of a great bit idea. Write it down, buddy. There you go. As soon as you get them, write them down. Is it going to be New Year's resolutions that we give to each other? That's exactly what it is. Oh my gosh. Because that's a great bit. Oh my gosh. I just pulled that out of thin air. Okay, but there has to be this caveat to it. They have to be healthy. Yes. They have to be good for us. I can't say to Lauren, you can't drink kombucha. Right. Because that's not like a healthy, good thing for her. But it's got to be relatable. You know what I mean? Like mine, you guys will have a field day with me. Hello. Wait, I don't know. With you. With me? Yeah, but like what am I going to tell Lauren? Woods, don't do this. She doesn't do anything wrong. Don't do this. Oh, I did plenty wrong. But I don't know if I'm willing to give up the things that I do wrong for anyone but me. Do we know what she does wrong? Like, don't say creepy things. No way. I love it. No. What does Lauren do? That's what I'm saying. I don't know of anything. Oh. Yeah, we're like, hey, you're not allowed. You're not allowed anymore. You're not going to say that. No, but I mean, it can be anything. It can be talking on your phone in the car.

7:54I use the earpiece. You have the earpiece. Dang it. I do that. There's one for me. It's like over there in Perfect Town. Yeah, seriously. I sometimes text while driving. Lauren goes, I only floss twice a day. I know. I only work out twice a day. No, it's something that we have to be able to hold you accountable to here. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? For all of us. It has to be something here. It could be that I'm not allowed. How white her teeth are. And she drinks coffee. How do you get your teeth so white? I don't know. What's up with you? And the white teeth. I'm just lucky, I guess. What about my tan teeth? I see your teeth aren't bad. They're tan. Yeah, they're not bad. Not bad. What, Jay? You look like you were going to say something. I was just thinking that maybe we tell Lauren not to forget things. Like what? I do forget. She forgets things. Power supplies. Yeah. Have a backup, L.O.B. That could be your New Year's resolution. Always have a backup. Hard. It is hard. It's hard if you have something that you're bad at. It's hard. It's been 30 years in the making. It could be that I'm not allowed to sing jingles in the commercial break anymore. No. That's it. Craig and O'Reilly. Sorry, I like it. Every day.

9:0811 months. I need somebody to take the harmony when I'm singing the lows. She sings every day. And she gives it everything she has. Every break? Almost 11 months. I wrote it down. It's my idea. We're going to make it right. That was a good idea, Woods. That was a good idea, LLB. Let me introduce. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years old. Really, probably the heaviest I've been in a while. And I need to really lose some weight. I can really tell with the jeans, you know. The jeans are, that's where you can tell. I feel like everybody gets like that. I feel like that. It's this time of year. Holidays are pretty peaceful. Putting on your winter coat. Exactly. Putting on extra layers of fat for the winter. Cold. Woodsy is our sports guy. I think he's way more handsome than he thinks he is. Also at my heaviest I've ever been. Really? I wish I knew how to quit you. Fine, you could say that it's gay. Fat sores. Just a love affair. Still look good, dude. Fat sores real good. We're all going to hit the gym come January 1st. Fat sores are from the waistband of my boxers and my fat hangs over and it causes friction. Selling the sex, baby. And I have sores under. I'm like a leper. I have one sore right now. Yeah, but you're tall.

10:28And you're handsome. You guys want to see it? Yeah, I do. You want to show? I saw one before. Can I lick it? He's unbuttoning his pants, turned around. I see a fat sore. Gross. It looks like a blister. That's from his jeans. My jeans and my waistband. It's disgusting. You want to see it, Mike? I've seen it. Is that what you used to get? It's repulsive. That's not enough to make you stop eating donuts in the morning? It's not. I have a problem. Hey, dude, same thing with me. I sat there and I feel so down about it. And then I go, but what am I willing? You know, like last night I'm sitting in front of a pork chop. And I'm going, and I'm also sitting in front of fresh cut French bread with butter and jam. And I go, well, am I willing? No. Maybe just tell Rebecca not to put that in front of you. Am I willing to do that? What if three days out of the week you were allowed to have whatever you want and four you had to follow? Listen, I'm telling you right now, once that New Year's passes, it's changing. Oh yeah, I'm going back to the egg. I'll eat the egg outside. I'm going back to the egg and the cheese and the grapes. I'm going to full oatmeal. I'm going to meals, working out. Is the oatmeal from Jamba Juice not okay? No, I'm going to eat it.

11:55I think that's okay. You can eat it. It's okay. We should be having, like, the steel-cut grains. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. I'm going to go. See, because earlier in the year, I was much thinner and in good shape, you know? I was, you know, my muscles were starting to grow and feel better. And you're bringing your own things. That's a lot of the problem. When you eat out, you have no idea what they're adding to it as filler and stuff. No. When you're in control of what you bring. Makes a big difference. I saw a picture of you, L.O.B., yesterday that I'd never seen before that I love, and I want it blown up and put in the studio. What am I doing? You're in college. Oh, boy. And you're jumping in the air, and you're dancing, and you have glasses on. I'm not in college. It was after college. It was? Mm-hmm. But I'm wearing a shirt that says JMU Girls Rock. During the commercial break, Woods and Sienna, I'll show you guys this picture. And we'll put it on mikeyshow.com if she allows us. Yeah, sure. We'll put it on mikeyshow.com and we'll put it on the fan page. Foxy. It's just so fun. I was in the best shape of my, it's funny that you're talking about this. I was in the best shape of my life then. I had so much energy and you could see it in that picture. Yeah. Just like jumping around.

13:13If you look at that picture and you can't become happy, I don't want to know you. I'm almost thinking we need to do some sort of Biggest Loser bit. Yeah. No, I don't want to do that. Because it will keep me going. I will do it if I have something like... I did it with the old Mikey show. I've done it with a show before, too. Let's do it. I'll just go. We'll do it better. No, it's good, but then you have to weigh yourself every week, and it's such a nightmare. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's a L-O-B. Lauren O'Brien. That's Sienna. She's our news girl. That's Jay. He's wearing a coup d'etat t-shirt right now. He's 47. He looks 27. And that's Will. It's Will. And you are an M1. If you like The Mikey Show, you listen to The Mikey Show, you're a big fan of The Mikey Show, then you are an M1. And it's an exclusive club. And it's the only club I want you to be a part of. I don't want you listening to DSC. I don't want you listening to the show. I don't want you listening to any other show but ours. And I'm becoming very bold about it. Why? Because I should. Because I should and because it's right and it's just. We want you. And we want you. And you should be listening. And so that's the deal. Be an M1. Don't be a P1. Don't be a DSC disker. I don't know what they call themselves. Disker. I don't know what they are. I don't know what anybody else is. I'm just telling you, be an M1. And that's that. Love it. We'd love to have you.

14:42If you're an M1, you listen to The Mikey Show. When you call into The Mikey Show, you turn your radio down. You get to the point you don't cuss. Okay? Also, part of being an M1 is don't be an S-disturber. Okay? If you're an M1, I don't want you starting any crap with P1s. You let them be their little P1 thing, and you let everybody else be their thing. I don't like smack talkers. So I don't want an M1. Part of being an M1, is high road. Part of being an M1 is be different. Part of being an M1 is that you laugh at the internet tough guy. You laugh at them. And the reason that you laugh at them is because they're laughable. They're a joke. That's it. That's that. I see internet tough guys. I said this to Woodsy one time.

15:38You know, in regard to the Internet tough guy, because the Internet tough guy is the guy that that is the S disturber on online. Very sad lives. We you know, often we don't think of that. We don't think of that. We say to ourselves, how dare they? You know, how dare they say such a thing? No happy dude is an Internet tough guy. No happy woman is an Internet tough guy. It's just not the case. And so this goes for anybody listening that encounters the Internet Tough Guy. First of all, what I said to Woods was, you know, in regard to responding to Internet Tough Guy, you don't really respond to Internet Tough Guy. And the reason that you don't is because let's say that Internet Tough Guy is talking smack about a baseball player. Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter is not going to respond to Internet Tough Guy. And the reason that he isn't is because he's Derek Jeter. When you told me that, there was a guy on Twitter and he was talking. I never knew him. And I found out later, this is his bit. He does it to everybody in San Diego. He's done it to LLB. Yeah, I blocked him. We've all blocked him. And he was talking about Jamie. And I'm like, this guy doesn't know Jamie or maybe he's met her or something. And boy, I flipped. Flipped the switch and was like, I will slit your throat, basically. And Mikey put it in that perspective. And here's what I can tell you about Internet Tough Guy. I'm not saying that the things that they say aren't.

17:08hurtful or aren't even true. Because maybe they are. He's sleeping with my wife? No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is that he may... No one talks about Jamie like that. The internet tough guy may say, Mikey, you're fat. He may say all kinds of stuff. But the truth, this is the truth that you have to know about internet tough guy. They're not happy. No happy person does that. And that's just a fact. No happy person does that. In fact, in order to be able to do that, you have to have such a S-y gut. Your gut has to be so full of S that you're spineless. That you are the very definition of coward. You know, that's the bottom line. You're the very definition of coward and you're spineless and gutless and you have a sad existence and that's the deal. Yeah, you put it in that perspective for me and man, it, you know.

18:06It hit home for me, and the funny thing is I watched LeBron James on Twitter responding to all these people that hated on him, and I was like, oh, wow, that's LeBron James doing that. He needs that lesson. You're LeBron James. Who cares what Jim Smith at Akron Tire thinks about you? Tom Brady isn't responding to morons. He's too handsome for that. You know the truth is? That's the truth. The truth is, he's Tom Brady. He doesn't have to respond to that. The insecure people do, and I'm so learning that. I mean, Ocho Cinco, so insecure, responds to everything, you know? Listen, I'm pretty transparent on the air, and I'll tell you where I know that my faults are. But one thing that I can tell you is that I have a renewed sense of myself. I have a renewed sense of security. that I've never had in my entire life it doesn't mean that I don't have the ability to be hurt because I do but I'm also very confident in who I am and who I am is me and I am for the first time in my life comfortable in my skin to the point where I actually thank God every day for allowing me to be who I am he could have very easily chosen me to be somebody different and he allowed me to be me

19:31And I really am stoked about getting to be me. I'm so lucky and blessed. And, you know, so the person that isn't, though, is the guy that writes the stuff online or the woman that writes the stuff online. You know, they're just miserably, miserably sad with intense hurt and sadness and fear. 570-1949 is our number. What a show. Oh, my gosh. Do we have a show for you today? First of all, yesterday, Woods is talking about how Mike Sweeney, Philadelphia Phillies. Woods, he met him in the most unusual way. He thought he knew Mike Sweeney. And the reason he thought he knew him... is because Woodsy thought that he played in Woods' adult baseball league. Did he play in your adult baseball league? No, he plays major league baseball. Oh. Yeah, no. That's kind of a difference. Five-time All-Star. Oh. Turns out he plays for the Phillies. Legend in Kansas City is where he spent the majority of his career. I was talking to a buddy from Wichita. He said, Mike Sweeney, they still talk about him on the radio here, about what a good...

20:43guy he is and his family. He's a good dude. He's a legend in Kansas City. A legend. He's a good man. Anyway, so Woodsy met him and developed a bit of a... Man crush? No. No. Respect. He developed a very deep respect that got him to... do things that you would do if you had a very, very strong crush on a woman. Really? I would still call that a man crush. I didn't send him flowers or anything. I didn't make him a mixed CD. I will, but I haven't yet. When his name comes up, your eyes get this little twinkle and you smile. Question Woods. Yes. Did you or did you not actually do a flip onto a beanbag when he texted you back yesterday? I don't know what you're talking about. He did. I saw it with my own team. You guys ever just make stuff up? And so... Woods did something that he isn't proud of. Wait a minute. Listen, every single one of us listening and in this room have done something that we're not proud of when we have a crush on somebody, and that's that. What am I not proud of? He, Woods, went to his adult baseball league game, and it was the championship. Yeah, it was playoffs. Playoffs. Yep. First round of the playoffs. Playoffs.

22:06had Mike Sweeney's phone number in his cell phone, and he texted him, quote, I need some tips. Some help. I need some help at the dish. Oh, boy. Pal. Bro. Bro. I'm proud of it. Hey, bro. You're not. You weren't proud of it yesterday. He's not proud of it. I'm proud of it. He's proud now. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Need some help at the dish. I'm proud of it. To which Mike Sweeney did not text back. Didn't he? He didn't. Didn't he? Excuse me. He did not. He didn't? It took us helping you. It took 24 hours. Much, much later, meaning the next day, Woods lamented on the air, virtually for an hour. Until finally word got back to Mr. Sweeney, probably through various sources. That can't be confirmed. He lives here in San Diego. That can't be confirmed.

23:10And finally, Mike, after Woods had gone on the air and described a fantasy. A fantasy. A fantasy world in which he and Sweeney were friends. I hate you all. I hate you. His vision. BFF. I hate all of you. He described a fantasy in which Mike Sweeney invites him over to the house to take BP. What's BP? Batting practice. Oh, of course. And so, Woods, read the text that Sweeney eventually wrote you back. Oh, you haven't deleted it? No. Weird. I thought you said that you weren't going to save it. I haven't gotten around to deleting my phone. How about you come by my house on the way home from the studio one day soon, and I'll tune you up in my cage. I'm serious. Much love to you, brother. Look at Woods' smile. You can see it on his face right now. He's smiling so big. Woods has a look on his face right now as if Scarlett Johansson wrote him back and said, thinking about you, smiley face. Oh, that's exactly the look. It's that look. It's exactly the look. You look at your guy. You look at your cell phone. And your cell phone says, Scarlett Johansson. And underneath that.

24:31It says ScarJo. And underneath that, it says thinking about you, happy face. And you look at that and you're like, oh my gosh. This is better. That's better. You know why? These guys, to me, it's funny. They all like what we do and they think what we do is really cool. And they would trade places with us. They love to do this stuff. That's all I ever wanted to do was be a ball player. That's it. That's why I'm 35 and still drag my ass out there every Sunday and play because that's all I ever wanted to do. Well, this is what's fantastic. So this morning at 8 o'clock, Sweeney's going to come on the air with us. Yes. And what's really amazing is that he's coming on the air in the wake of ginormous news that came out last night. Mike Sweeney is a Philadelphia Philly. And last night it was announced that although The offer from the New York Yankees was $34 million more. Cliff Lee has decided to go to the Philadelphia Phillies and take $34 million less to play for his old team, the Philadelphia Phillies. Wow. I like that guy. Good riddance. That's so much money. Care less. Yeah, right. I swear. I thought that was a big deal. I said it from the get-go. I didn't want him. I don't want...

25:53A 34-year-old dude. You've got to go get somebody. No, I want to get younger. I want to save money and get younger. After playing the Rangers, man, those guys were fast and young. That's what I want to be as a Yankee fan. Well, we're going to be able to ask Sweeney. We're going to be able to ask Sweeney. What do you think? I'm sure he's stoked, man. Dude, Cliff Lee's not even their opening day star. No, freaking Roy Halladay is. Roy Halladay. Ridiculous. It's sick. Hope everyone... Leaves the Yankees alone now. They're not the evil empire any longer. No, now they're a normal team. So feast on that. They're a normal team. The word of the day is North Pole. When you hear me say North Pole, between now and 10, you just call and be caller 9. You'll get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. They're worth $276. And depending on if you're a guy or a girl, you get anarchy or angel sunglasses. Round of applause. Thank you. Oh, no, that's not. That's fantasy. Or dream. Okay, and then. I want to let people know since the Mikey Thon is just a couple of days away and I'm extraordinarily late. I'm so late right now. For commercials. For commercials. Mikey Thon's a couple of days away. I want to let people know so you can start talking to your friends about it right now. One of the items that we're going to auction is going to be four people. So you get together with your buddies to get four people together for this. Four people are going to get to come to dinner at my home.

27:19And Jeff from Pamplemousse is going to come and do Pamplemousse food at my house. And it's going to be with all the members of the show here at my house. Delish. Can't wait. The auction is going to start at $1,500. Okay? That auction will start at $1,500. So start talking to your friends about it and getting ready for it. Yeah. Maybe Mike Swinney bids on it. Oh, maybe he does. That'd be great. Oh, yeah, Wood. Woods, you're all red now. Maybe Sweeney and the Kotze's come over for dinner. Well, the reason I like that is because if the Sweeney's and the Kotze's come over for dinner, it's going to be a lot of money raised for Rady Children's Hospital, and that's what it's about. I don't want $1,500. I want $15,000, you know, because it's going to Rady Children's Hospital and their ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. Big things to talk about. What's Nane's first name? Legadoo. Yeah, my brain just went blank. Legadoo Nane. Was he in a fight in PB? We'll tell you. What gigantic album is coming out today? What's up with the fog in San Diego? What problems is it causing? And Larry King talked to Conan last night. And I wanted to know a couple of things that got answered. Like, hey, Conan, how long is your new deal for? And then Larry reads a research report about what type of person watches each of those late night shows. Which one are you?

29:10This is a new album? No. Live, it's one of the greatest. This is a live album? This song live is one of the greatest. Oh, when they play it live. It's Kings of Leon. They opened with it, Last of My Song. Mean. You've started saying it like Woods now, Mike. Yeah, I'm doing it for him. How do you guys say it? Kings of Leon. Kings of Leon. Leon. Leon. You can't even do it. Like Leon press on nails. That's right. Yeah, we're going to give you this Larry King thing in a minute. Larry King talking to Conan O'Brien. How long's this deal? What kind of person are you if you watch different people? There's Leno, there's Letterman, there's Conan. So the question is, you know, if you watch one of them, you have a preference, it says something about you. And they did it from a real research study. And then Mike Sweeney's calling at 8 o'clock this morning. And he plays for the Phillies. Phillies! If you didn't hear, Cliff Lee.

30:18Going to the Phillies instead of the Yanks. And the Rangers. And the Rangers. Word of the day, North Pole. Oh, by the way, don't forget, one of the things that we're doing at Mikey-thon is we want you to decorate your car all up in Mikey Show advertisement. Yeah. And then we're going to judge the cars. We're going to have you all drive by. Whoever's got the baddest looking car with, like, Mikey Show, you know, flair, is going to win a grill from Barbecues Galore. Woo! Not a bad prize. It's an e-grill. Worth $200. Nice. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, big album coming out today. Everyone's been looking forward to this one. Michael Jackson's album is out today. This is the first album that's being released. Ten songs that he did before he died. And 50 Cents on it, Lenny Kravitz, Akon, and the sales are expected to be huge.

31:21Oh, wow. Also, if you're in the car right now, you can see a lot of fog, most likely. If you're driving on the 5, the 8, the 52, the 78, the 163, or the 805, the fog is so bad that flights are most likely going to be delayed at Lindbergh Field today. Oh, my. So, good luck if you're traveling. It sucks. Yes, it does. Henry Rollins is going to be on the show today as well. Woodsy, what do you got going on in sports? Well, there was a 21-year-old El Cajon man. He was hospitalized with serious head trauma after a fight in the streets. of Pacific Beach, otherwise known as PB. And witnesses have placed Chargers wide receiver Legadoo Nane at the scene. Not good. Legadoo says, I don't know how my name came up. I didn't see the fight. I was at the bar. But witnesses, several witnesses have said he was there. They all scattered when the cops came. Doesn't bother me as long as he's not the one fighting. As long as he ain't in it. Because there's always clowns around you. Absolutely. And then yesterday, the Los Angeles Lakers met with President Barack Obama. Of course. Are you making that up? No, it's on his worldwide media tour. No, actually, it was a really good thing. They were at the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Washington. Let's listen to Barack talk about those Lakers, too. This year, they won their second title in a row and their 16th championship overall.

32:48That's one behind the Boston Celtics for the most of all time. Boston Celtics, of course, they beat in this year's finals. Thank you, Captain Obvious. 570-194-9 is our number if you want to call us. So, yeah, Larry King talked to Conan last night, wanted to know how long is this deal for? How long are you signed for? For what? For TBS. I think another two weeks. Don't quit. Quit messing around. How freaking long is it? I don't have any notes. Do we know? Two. My producer told me two years. What's that? Only two. Only two. After what I've been through, two years is huge. Two years. Only two? Who's representing you? Moron. Did you hire Bob Eatman or did you hire Paul Anderson? Those are my two agents. Paul Anderson, who I fired. Bob Eatman, who I fired. Also Opie and Anthony's agent. Could never get him on the phone. Never? Never. Hi, is Bob there? Yes, man, I'm just calling. It's Mikey. Yeah, hang on just a moment.

34:11Hold for 20 seconds. Sorry, Mikey. He needs to call you back. He's in a meeting. Yeah. Hi, Marky. Bob's in a meeting right now. What's the best time to return your call? He said he'll call you. What time is it there in Cleveland? You know what? Forget it. Never mind. I'll represent myself. So Larry brings up this research about what type of people watch each individual program. The Hollywood Reporter recently did analysis of who's watching you and Leno and Letterman and Jon Stewart. It found this very interesting, that your viewers are more likely to be single, tech-savvy, atheist, and own a Volkswagen. That's right. That's what we were aiming for. That is so random. A Volkswagen. Fascinating. Fascinating. That person. I said, I want to show. For atheist, single, tech-savvy Volkswagen owners. And I did it. You got them. I don't know where they come up with that. Volkswagen owners, really? How'd they come up with that? Leno viewers are the wealthiest, most likely to be religious, and they drive a Chevy or a Pontiac. Right. Letterman viewers are more likely to be divorced. Watch CNN drive a Toyota. Couldn't be more off. So strange. It's really weird. So strange. I'm a Letterman guy. Yeah. I'm a Conan guy. Always have been.

35:36Well, you're not a guy, but... Yeah, I'm Conan. I prefer Conan. You're a big atheist, too. Well, yeah, I mean, what they're saying is that most of his viewers are. You know, that's where they compile this. That's so weird. That can't be. Well, that's what the research shows. Fake research. This is what we do. See, now, I'll tell you something. This is what we do as people. We go, I like the Coen Brothers movies. Therefore, the Coen Brothers movies are the most popular. No, you like them. That doesn't mean that most people do. No, but you can also have a very skewed study. They could get a room of 12 atheists or 15 people, 12 of them are atheists. And they're like, yeah, most people that watch Conan are atheists. Well, the thing is, though, is that when you do research, in order for your research to charge money to a company, you have to prove to them that the data that you're giving them. isn't skewed. Unless it's like the Atheist Association of America. Yeah. It's a lot like radio ratings, is it not? Yeah. I mean, they take a very small sample size and that's what our whole lives are based on. Right. But I mean, if we're talking research, if you do research on anything and you're given data about anything, you know, it's going to have, you have to take data. The problem is you can't take every American and count noses.

37:00and say, hey, who do you like? Leno? One, two, three, four, five, six. You gotta do it some way. Correct. So, true, I'm not atheist. In fact, I don't really match any of those, I don't think. I guess I'm technically single because I file that way, but that's the only thing I match with Conan. But I do think that it's interesting that the majority of the people that watch Letterman, that watch Leno, and that watch Conan, that that's who they are. Yes. That is interesting. I would have... I would have definitely guessed that Leno's viewers were the wealthiest. Yeah. Makes sense to me, too. Me, too. I'm feeling ridiculous. They're making this stuff up. No. Jon Stewart viewers are most likely to be married, Catholic, and drive a GMC truck. I don't believe that either. Yeah, that one seems weird. Jon Stewart? Yeah. Yeah. We may not believe it. It should fascinate us that that's the data. Listen, they don't have a bias. They're just going, hey, look, this is what it says. I would like to see that sample size and where it was derived from. I think what they did is they put index cards in a Tumblr, spun it around, and pulled things out. That makes no sense to me. I agree with my boy Conan. That's what it says. I wish I liked him. I wish I thought he was funny.

38:20I just don't. You didn't find that funny? You laughed. I thought he was funny when he said that line. No, it's okay, but I wish I enjoyed his show. I just don't. You know what I like about Conan is those monologues make me laugh, and the reason that they make me laugh is because I never see the punchline coming, and that's my favorite humor. If it's predictable to me, then it's not my favorite. Leno's is very predictable. You watch it, you're like, oh, dude. And a lot of people like that. Don't make me think about my comedy. Put it out there for me. I like the sarcasm of Dave Letterman. I always have because that's kind of how I am. I'm very sarcastic. His sarcasm comes off as snide to me. And I like snide. I like snide. In comedy, I like snide a lot. And I know people that have gone to his show live and have said not good things about the way he carries himself in between. Oh, really? I've been twice. Have you? Yeah, I've been twice. What'd you think? First of all, that studio is far-reezing cold. Really? Oh, yeah. It's colder than ours? Oh, yeah, he does it on purpose. He has like a temperature that he makes them set it at. It's about 60 degrees. What about all the girls that come in in their dresses? Oh, it's 60 degrees. It's so that people don't fall asleep? Yeah, so people are alert. People are alert. And frozen. 60. I mean, it is freezing in there. And during commercial breaks, he does not talk to the guest. Yeah, that's what I heard. He doesn't talk to the guest. He just sits there? Yeah, but you guys, you've got to realize something, okay? You have to realize something.

39:44He's done a hundred gazillion shows. Yeah. And so every guest I bet at this point is the same person. Oh, yeah. It's not like Russell Crowe is different. than Scarlett Johansson. It's guest, guest, guest, guest. He's talked to so many thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people that it's the guest that night. But it's so awkward to not make any small talk. Maybe he's saving it. It's probably awkward for the guest. For the guest and the audience. Yeah, I was. Listen, when I was there, I was so fascinated at everything. I was looking around at everything. So I watched him and I watched him not talking to the guest. And then I was like, what does Paul Schaefer do? You know, what does he do during commercial? Do you think that the guest is warned? Don't talk to him? Because if I was sitting there and I was a guest, I would have to talk to him. No, because, you know, I'll tell you what I do remember. I do remember that every once in a while and you can't hear what they're saying because the band's playing.

40:46But what I did notice was that every once in a while, you know, he'd be looking at stuff on his desk and then he'd be talking to other people. And one time he got up and walked off to go do something and then came back. Yeah, maybe he went to go pee pee. But every once in a while, he'd say something. You know, like they'd say something to him or he'd say something to them. You know what I noticed, Lauren, is that the guest, for them, they didn't have much interest either. Really? Yeah, they were just like, you know. It's another interview. It looked like work to both of them. Yeah, they're promoting a movie or a book. I bet they're saving it for the air. Otherwise you talk about something and then you immediately have to talk about that again. You could say, how was your flight here? Stuff like that. Yeah, listen. Even when we have guests in the studio, I have to, and I'm talking about the guests that we interview, I have to make it a point to say, to make the small talk. Right. Because honestly, I have things to do. I'm doing stuff when I'm answering emails or whatever. So if we did it every day and I had multiple guests, oh my God. Yeah, it's crazy. I enjoy the between. I enjoy the breaks.

42:11to get to talk to them because that's when, you know, I do most of my talking is the in-between breaks because you're interviewing them and I just, I want to meet them and shake their hand and say, hello, can you sign this or whatever. I like the in-between, but then again, I'm not the one interviewing them either, so. M1 Type 1 from Del Mar is on the line. What's up, dude? Hey, how's it going, guys? Good. I just want to say something that you mentioned earlier talking about how coding viewers are atheists, basically. And I don't know if it's necessarily true based on the research that the majority of Conan viewers are atheists. I thought that's what he said. He said they're most likely to be. And so what that kind of means is, the only reason why I know this is because I'm a stats teacher. They could have done research and found out that, say, like 8% of Conan viewers were atheists and, you know, 4% of Letterman viewers were atheists, which means that... You're like twice as likely to be an atheist if you watch Conan. Yeah. That doesn't mean you're... Oh, I get what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, although that seems so strange to present it that way, you know, the way that they're presenting it. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that makes sense. That makes sense. Thank you, dude. You can buy that. Yeah. Yeah, I can buy that. You know what we're going to do? We're going to do Stump the Dawn. Oh, boy. All right. Now, here's what Stump the Dawn is.

43:39If you think that you know about the Sopranos, call us right now, 570-1949, because Woodsy is a big Sopranos guy. He's seen every season, every episode, in a lot of cases, multiple times. So you're calling to Stump Woods, okay? 570-1949. What can they win, Jay? Coming around, I had other things I was listening to. A pair of old 97s. Nice. at the Belly Up Tavern. It's a great band. Right on. There you go. 570-1949. If you think that you know the Sopranos and you want to stump the Don, the Don is Woods. 570-1949. You can be my consigliere. That's right. You guys can be my gumas. There you go. Cool. I'm Mikey. He's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B. That's Sienna sitting over here to my left.

45:01Our producer is Jay and screening phones today. It's Will. That's Will. You ever just skeeved out real good right now? He took five-hour energy drink and he's all... He's just jumping up and down. He's scared of me. Air punches. Eat something, my friend. Mike Sweeney will be calling in in one hour. And Mike Sweeney is... He plays for the Philadelphia Phillies. Willie, call in. He will. I'll double check. I'll just text him. Oh, boy. I got his number. Send him a picture message of just your little face. Word of the day is North Pole. When you hear it, you get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and Anarchy or Angel sunglasses. Thank you so much to the cool sponsors of the Mikey-thon. Yeah. We got some really, really cool sponsors. Divine Postabilities, Wiener Schnitzel, Barbecue's Galore. The Palm Restaurant, Randy Jones Sports Grill, Pop Chips, Honest Tea, and Sushi Poppers. Bang. So thank you so much to all of the different sponsors. A lot of people are helping us out. I love being a schnitzel, Michael. I know you do. Okay, you ready to do it? Yep. Let's do this. It is time for Stump the Don. Nobody knows more about the show The Sopranos than our boy Woods.

46:58The guy loves The Sopranos. Maybe David Chase does. That's about it. That's about it. And even David Chase, you would probably, he'd be like, I don't remember. I don't remember. But you would. I'd give him a run for some money. 570-1949 is our number. Call us right now if you know Sopranos trivia. You got to try to stump Woods. If you could stump him, you'll win a prize. This makes me so nervous. Why? Just because. You're like claiming you know it. Yeah. Someone's like, what about this? Oh. Yep. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. It's all right. It's okay to be wrong. That's right. M1 Blue from San Diego. Are you there? Thank you, brother. Woods? Why don't you start me off easy, pal? Don't Stop Believing by Journey. That's right, Woods. All right. Give me a tough one. Tony and Pauly killed him. I need to sit down. Hold on. He goes. Is that okay, Tony? Oh. I think the last thing he said, he goes, hey, guys, do me a favor. Not in the head. And then didn't he say, I got to sit down? Was that right before? Then you stumped the Don, my friend. Wow. You stumped the Don. Hang on a minute. He won tickets to go see. Old 97. I'm going to double check that. He may be right, but he did say, he pointed at his head and he said, hey, guys, do me a favor. Not in the face, like that. Who are you talking about? I didn't hear what he said. Big Pussy Bump at Cero.

48:40Before Pauly killed him? Pauly and Tony and Silvio all pulled their guns out and started shooting them at the same time. That's a catchy name. M1 Mike from the South Bay. Are you there? Not too much, dude. You ready to try to stump the Don? Carmella didn't get the permit approved for the house she was building. They used the wrong type of wood. They needed to use... I believe they were supposed to use Douglas fir. And they used, I think, pine. Yeah. All right, man. Oh, man. That is incredible. That is incredible. Sorry, bro. Later, guys. Sorry. Later. Impressive. Impressive. Impressive. 570-1949 if you believe that you can stump the Don. Almost just threw up my mouth. Relax. The idea is that you ask him trivia questions about the Sopranos. If Woodsy doesn't know, you win.

49:44If he knows, you'll lose. 570-1949. All right. On the line, M1 Blue from San Diego. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, sorry about that. Here we go. Mikey Show, you got a question for Woods? Yes, I do, man. Go ahead. Stump to Don. Other mother? All right, Woodsy. I'm from Jersey, all right? Oh, boy. The South Jersey scene where they take the... Yeah, Chrissy. Yeah. What happened to him? Where'd he go? What happened to who? Pauly thought he got, no, I think Chrissy thought he got a headshot, and they were in Pine Barrens, and they thought they got him in the head, and they actually show it, and it looks like the part of the back of his head comes off, but I guess he got away, because they never did say where he went. All right, what scene shows where he possibly could have been? What scene shows where he possibly could have been?

50:49What a strange way to pass the question. I'm trying to, yeah, I'm not really sure what he means. Can you be more specific with the question? Can you be a little more specific? Is it in the same episode? It's in the episode, and they show an angle, a camera angle. Okay, I'll be real specific. They show a camera angle of the blood trail, and it gives you, if you have an idea of the director who's probably going for it. Woodsy is pacing, he's looking at the ceiling. Would it be in a tree? It's obviously from the tree, yeah. So they were showing a above angle scene. You could not stump the Don, bro. Nice try, but you could not stump the Don. That's where I'm from, by the way. The Pineberry. Really? That's your hometown? That's my favorite episode. It's kind of an all-encompassing area. The Pine Barrens is where there's a lot of pine trees and stuff. I like you even more now than I did before. Thanks, Wes. 570-194-9 is our number if you want to try to stump the Don. Last one, M1 Kevin from Boston. You there? Yes, I'm here. What's going on, Mike? Not too much, dude. Stump the Don. All right, Don. Hey. Hey. Tony and Chris sell a couple cases of wine when they're in New Hampshire. Yep.

52:01What year is the wine? Oh, wow. Great question. Woodsy is pacing. He's looking at the ceiling. He's going to think because he might have this in there. They stole it from the Vipers. Correct. And it was a... Oh, my God. Chrissy even goes, great year. Was it 96? It is 98. Oh! You won, dude. Holy crap. That is a great question, man. Kevin, you just stumped a Don, and you're a winner. Hang on a line, okay? Wow. Man. That's a fun game. That's really fun. And here's the deal. I don't even know what the answers are. But I enjoy it. And you'll know by my facial expressions if I can get it or not. I can vaguely, when the person cites the episode, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no way would I pull those details out. I've never watched an episode. What? Me neither. That is absurd. It is brilliant. Have you, Mike? I have owned it. I have. My thing with The Sopranos, because at times I've loved it and at times I haven't. But the thing about it was that I always thought to myself,

53:15It doesn't seem like that's the way it would really look. Oh, it's dead on. Dead on. It's pretty close. Every mobster has said, we asked Henry Hill when we had him on. Maybe I read that. I read it in an interview with Henry Hill. How close is that? And he said, it's dead on. It's pretty close. Dead on. There's some mafia activity in and around my town. Because it almost looks like a caricature. Oh, no. Oh, no. Absolutely not. I don't like real violence like that. I like Boondock Saints because it's fake, you know, but this seems like this is kind of real. Like Call of Duty? Yeah, it's not real. It was definitely like... It's gritty. Yeah, it's gritty. I mean, there's scenes in there that you watch it and you're like, oh, boy, they just did that to that guy. And it's gritty. I mean, it looks, it's real. It's a great show. So, as I'm going through recaps this morning, I see Sienna's, and I only read the first line of a conversation that she had with her husband, and I stopped reading, and I immediately said to Sienna, Sienna, just put down that we're talking about this recap. I said, and I'll read the rest of it on the air live. Yeah.

54:33Sienna says, I was being a typical girl last night, asking my husband Todd the standard 25 questions bit. Welcome to my life. It's so much fun. This is how our conversation went. Sienna says, babe, who's your go-to celebrity girl crush? I had this conversation last weekend. I love it. And Todd says, I don't know any of those girls anymore, but if I had to pick. Don't you? Don't you? But if I had to pick, it'd be the chick from the notebook. And Sienna says, Rachel McAdams? And Todd says, yeah, she's hot. Sienna goes, if she asked you to leave me. Oh my gosh. Cuckoo. Whatever, I would have said the same thing. I'm sorry.

55:36I'm crazy. You ever just try to pick a bite? Real good? No, you want to dig. How deep is this crush? I know. I want to know. Did you have taped hands and boxing gloves on and you just wanted? No, we were sitting on the couch. Sage was sleeping next to me. Let me finish this. She says, if she asked you to leave me and marry her, would you? And Todd says, absolutely not. But I would ask her to show me her breasts. Sienna's boobs are way better than hers. That's creepy. And then I'd send her on her way. This is word for word in our conversation. And Sienna says, isn't that technically cheating? And I could see Sienna squinting and nodding her head as she says each word. Isn't that technically cheating? You're asking to see her boobs. Right. And Todd goes, no way. And she goes.

56:35So I can ask, Sienna says to Todd, so I can ask to see a guy's piece? Yeah. And Todd goes, nope. Yes, she can. That's not an equivalent body part. That's not fair. And Sienna says. Life isn't fair. And Sienna says, but there is no equivalent to boobs on a guy. I think there is. Yeah, there is. What? A butt? Yes. But we have a butt too. The piece is a sexual organ. The piece is a sexual organ. I would not gain the same enjoyment at looking at a piece as you guys would looking at a piece. Yeah, but you do. Like, here's the deal. Women always check out a guy's buns. I'd have to get to touch something. Oh boy, that's cheating. That's cheating. I'd get touching abs, butt. It's cheating. Back. Cheating. You're touching. It's not cheating. You're touching. You're touching. Hey, listen, if you're looking, you're cheating. I agree with Sienna. If he looks at her bare breasts, he's cheating on you. No, he is. Okay, okay, okay, okay. If he goes to a strip club and he looks at a naked breast, that's not cheating. Yeah, because she's paid. But if he asks to see this...

57:44If you ask to see them to a live girl in front of you, you're cheating. What if you ask Google to show you? That's different. I believe that that's wrong, but I don't believe that it's infidelity. Yeah, that's not right in front of you a live person. Yeah. So I'm like, there's no equivalent. That's not fair. I think the piece is the same as boo. You're crazy. It is not. No, to me, actually, it's not even the same, because I know that as women, we don't get as much enjoyment as guys do. It's true. You guys, if a guy said to a girl, if Todd said to Rachel McAdams, because we're in fantasy land anyway, that he would be able to ask and receive her. to see her naked breasts. So we're talking fantasy land here. Thank you, Todd. What the heck, Sienna, would you think if he said, may I see your private part? And she, I mean, are you kidding? That'd be really creepy. Todd's a boob guy, obviously. Obviously, yeah. Well, all men are boob guys. What choice do we have? When I think of a reaction of a guy that's like,

58:51Oh, I just saw her boobs. It's going to be the same reaction if a girl's like, Oh, I just saw her boobs. No, it isn't. If it's accidental. I think here's the equivalent. We get to touch something above the waist if you guys get to see boobs. I'm fine with that. That's fair. First of all, I need to say. I ain't going for any of this shenanigans in my world. This is all hypothetical. Listen, even in hypothetical land, I ain't doing it. But I can have the discussion. I can discuss with you what I think the equivalent is on an intellectual level. On an intellectual level, seeing a woman's naked breasts, asking and receiving to see them, is not in the same reality of getting to touch a human being's body. Yeah, sure it is. There's nothing sexual about me touching some guy's back. It's not fair. Everyone has a back. We see Woods. Like a guy can take off his shirt. Everybody has nipples. We can see that all the time. So we should be able to get a little extra enjoyment because you don't get to see boobs all the time. True story. So we need a little extra enjoyment if you get a little extra enjoyment. Or we get to pat the tush. Or the tush. The tush is more fair to me. Are you telling me that it would not be very scintillating?

1:00:08For you to see a really handsome guy. What's a good looking Hollywood guy? Josh Duhamel. Josh Duhamel. Josh Duhamel. Bradley Cooper. Okay, Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Are you telling me that it wouldn't be very scintillating for you to have him drop trow and see his naked buns? That would be. I would like to see his butt. That's the same as seeing a girl's boobs. Even if you ask him to take his shirt off, wouldn't that be his equal? More exciting than a butt. More intimate? It's funny because all butts really look the same for the most part. Boobs are real different. Butts look the same? Some butts are gross. But you know, there's no surprise, really. You can tell by outside. Let me put it this way. We have a room here of four men. And, you know, when we include our phone screener, well, we have four men, me, Woods, Jay, and Will.

1:01:08And we have two women, L.O.B. and Sienna. There is no way in God's green earth that we could ever say to L.O.B. or Sienna, will you show us your boobs? No. Never. They would never. Okay? Really? No. No. Don't try it. However, however, I think. And it wouldn't be me. But I think that you could convince Woods to show you his buns. Here we go. No, no, no. But I think he would. I'd show you my butt. It's not the same. He would. He would show you anything but his privatist of private. I'd show you my wiener. I'd show you my wiener. You'd get in trouble. Yes, I would. No, you'd get in trouble. The other day. That's you. That's creepy. Dude, you wouldn't. Or Jay. What happened? Yeah, let's pull back the curtain. I'll show Jay. I'll pull the curtain back. I don't want to see. Pull the curtain back. Michael, let's see my wiener. We'll pull the curtain back. The other day. Oh, Lord, you weren't there. Oh, my gosh. Woods. How? Woods is this guy that brags. I'm not bragging. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. He toots his own horn. I'm not tooting my own horn. He would say I'm stating a fact. It's a fact. A fact.

1:02:17Sienna could be like... Here is the definition of the word brag. Oh boy. To say in a boastful manner. You brag. I'm not bragging. It's just a fact. Facts are facts. You're kind of bragging. What's your theory? You have a theory. That's fascinating. I have a theory. I have a theory that guys that brag about their stuff are not telling the truth. And I have a theory that guys with little wieners... have theories about guys with bigger wieners. Guys with little wieners say I have a small one, which I do. I'm not going to say I have a small wiener because I don't. Well, what I think is, I think, listen, excuse me, and I must say this right now. I must say this right now. Hang on. I must say, the Mikey show is an adult show. It's meant for adults. I know that there are kids in cars at times, and I understand that, but I also want to point out that

1:03:15We're adults here, and the audience that we're appealing to is an 18 to 34-year-old male, and I don't want you to feel unsafe with your kids and your cars, and I really don't. But at the same time, we're having this discussion, so just know that we're having this discussion. If you need to turn the radio down, just turn it down. If you need to, then you need to. Okay, now. Oh, boy. Let me be 100% factual. What I really believe is that what I have is what's considered... Right. Woods, because I don't think it's little, it's normal. Okay. But Woods... I know so much about you guys now. But Woods claims that he's... Extraordinarily in doubt. I never said extraordinary. Hang on. Hang on a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. In fact, I need to say right now. I need to say right now that since we're walking through a minefield, let me lead. Okay. All right. Don't take any liberties. Woods, don't go running out in front of me with your machine gun. Don't worry. I got this covered. Let me lead.

1:04:26I'll follow your lead. So, Woods has made this boastful claim. Okay? Now, on the show that I used to be on, Sky used to claim that her husband, same deal. And Eddie and I used to go, you know what? Like, we heard it for years. And we said, you know what? We wonder if that's really the deal. Because we've, you know, this supposed, you know. She wouldn't make that up. Do you want to get my wife on the horn? You can. What do I think your wife is going to say? Don't humiliate her. This is what I picture your wife saying. You guys, it's a lie. It's so normal. In fact, it's small. You know what I mean? You'd be surprised. Yeah, you'd really be surprised at how teensy. Do you have a tape masher? What? Didn't I say... What? I'm not taking liberties. Didn't I say... That's not liberty. Don't charge in front with a machine gun and go... I'm not. That's not charging. Let me leave. I'll just zip my lip. This conversation is exactly what happened off the air the other day. And I'm sitting here like... And so finally I go like this. Finally I go, you know what? Show me and Jay. And he goes like this. This is Woods. He goes...

1:05:46I'll show you right now. I've got any problems, I'll show you right now. You want to see it? And I go, and I go, and I'm standing in here and I go, Jay, get in here. And I'm like, I'm calling his bluff. I go, Jay, get in here. And I was like, no. And Jay goes, no. And I go, let's see. And Woods goes, well, not unless it's. Oh, I can't wait. I need a magazine. I need a fluffer. I can't wait. I'm sending you a C shot later. No. Thousand. Next to a ruler. Let me lead. You're leading. Don't talk, then. Don't talk, because every time you talk, you say something that's more than I want. You're being inappropriate. Do it, Woods. I'm gonna. Listen, and I even said to Woods, I said to Woods, between guys, I said, look. Guys are weird. I said, look. I said, if that's the deal, I'll say to you, my goodness gracious. But if it isn't, I'm going to go. If you say that. I'm going to go, really, pal with you? Why don't you guys just go to the gym together? Isn't that what happens in the gym? Don't you all whip each other in the butt with towels? You have to delete it immediately. Sit in the spa together. I don't want a picture because that grosses me out. I'm going to go Brett Favre on you. That's weird. He's going to do it. I don't want you to Brett Favre. There's nothing you can do to stop him. No, I don't want a Brett Favre.

1:07:11That seems homoerotic to me. It seems weird. Because I want you then to come on and say, you know what? I was wrong. You know what's weird? I was wrong. How do we know it's yours? It's weird because you're forewarning Mike about it. If you just sent it and he wasn't expecting it, then it'd be funny and okay. But now that he knows it's coming, it's creepy. And I don't want you to do that. Why don't we just have him wear like Terry Clough pants or something like that and like give him a magazine and see what happens. Magazine! L.O.B. Oh my god! Let me lead. Okay? In fact, why don't we just go back to what we were doing? We need a break. Yeah, let's do that. And, you know, listen, the Mikey Show isn't changing format, and I haven't gone atheist, and, you know, I don't want everybody to freak out. I'm just telling you that it's an adult conversation. It's just anatomy. We all have a body. We all have one. We do. Some bigger than others. Some not. Woods. Woods. What?

1:08:18Shut me down. Turn his mic on. Turn his mic on. All right, so Tashard Choice, he plays for the Dallas Cowboys. Oh, my God. He did something after the game that has a lot of Cowboy fans questioning his loyalty and even his desire to win. It's so stupid. Now, do you think they have a point or are they crazy? We'll tell you what it is. And then we got to. do Lauren's recap too. Lauren's recap. Another phenomenal one. Won't lead us down that road. What did Tashard Choice do that got Dallas fans so up in arms? We'll tell you. Listen, I can't wait to tell you what it is so that we can find out if there's one of you that feels the same way and goes, yeah, got a point. Mike Sweeney from the Philadelphia Phillies is going to be on the show in 20 minutes. In case you didn't know. Mike Sweeney is a professional ball player who Woods and I met, and Woods has an affection for him. No, we're best friends, so, I mean, you know, you can't. That's a stretch. We're best pals. Man crush. Yeah, and, you know. We're actually, we're kind of like colleagues. Kind of like colleagues. We're both ball players. Except you don't work in this. Oh. Yeah, we're both ball players. He gets paid to play, and you pay to play. That's not a true statement.

1:09:55I didn't pay a nickel. But the Tipsy Crow picked up the tab. I didn't pay a nickel. Yeah, the bar, the Tipsy Crow, they sponsor the team. Right. But you have paid. Yeah, in the past. Somebody pays the bill for you to play. Right, somebody pays the bill for Mike Sweeney to play, too. Yeah, that's true. Now, Mike Sweeney flies on a jet to games. Well, my games are local, so I drive. You drive. And local games. It's a local semi-pro league. Mike Sweeney uses a locker room to put his uniform on. I use a Chevy Suburban to put my uniform on. And a gym bag. Mike Sweeney has an agent. I don't have an agent, but I'm a smart guy. I can represent myself. You can represent yourself. Mike Sweeney's agent negotiates his salary. Right. I don't necessarily have a salary per se. Per se. But if you... Take into consideration the league fees that I would have paid that I didn't have to. It stays in my bank. So I kind of made like $200 for playing ball. Mike Sweeney has a contract and a paycheck because of playing baseball. I don't have a paycheck necessarily, but I didn't have to pay. So it stays in my account. So it's kind of like I got paid. The place Mike Sweeney plays baseball seats.

1:11:1340,000 people. The place where I play baseball seats 60 people. Are there actually seats? Yes, there are bleachers there. Are there backs to the seats? There are no backs to the seats necessarily. Are they numbered? A lot of people bring their own seats. Lawn chairs. Lawn chairs, if you will. The place that Mike Sweeney plays baseball is called... Liberty Field. Liberty Field. Right. The place where we play is called El Cajon High School. Okay. Or Mesa College. Okay. Okay. Mike Sweeney has a Bat Boy. We have... We, as a team, kind of do our own bats. Okay. Like, I'll be on deck, and Anthony will be hitting. Uh-huh. He'll get a hit. He'll throw his bat over to where I'm standing on deck. I'll pick it up and lean it against the fence. Okay. So, in essence, I'm kind of a bat boy as well. True. Okay. That's true. Yes. So, you guys are virtually colleagues. You know, we're not identical, but you're close. We're fraternal. We're fraternal.

1:12:22Let me see if he's texted me back. Okay. You texted him again today? No, he didn't text me back. You texted him today? Yeah, I just want to make sure we're still good for eight. Oh, boy. You're killing it. Well, you know what? If Jay had booked a guest... You're sabotaging this relationship. If Jay had booked a guest, Jay would want to make sure that they were going to call him. I just want to make sure he... And I know he's a man of his word. I know he will. And he texted you back, right? He did not yet. But he's probably making breakfast for his kids. I ruined it. I ruined it with Ryan Matthews. You did? Yeah. He's done with you? Oh, yeah. Why is he done? Well, he's not done with me, but I... Why didn't you tell us about that? Did you overtax? I did yesterday. I said I did the same thing with Ryan Matthews. What did you do? Did you ask him to give you help when you're trying to find the holes and your spin moves? No, I'll tell you right now. It's just as embarrassing as your story. Is it really? Sure. You didn't tell me. I thought I did. I kind of did. Yeah, I'll read to you what I texted to. Ryan Matthews. When did you text us? I didn't actually text him. It was on Twitter because he's never responded to an email. Now, this is Ryan Matthews. Of the Chargers. The Chargers. Yeah, who's down with be different. But wait a minute. Did you tweet in a public forum as to hold him accountable? No. He follows me on Twitter. Well, here's the deal, though. You met Ryan Matthews. He did the be different thing. You guys did pictures. You met him. You hung out with him for a little bit. And did you exchange numbers or emails? Yes. You did exchange emails.

1:13:51We did. And you've emailed him and he has not responded. Well, let me tell you how it happened. Fill me in. He says, hey, man, can I get some of those pics? Uh-huh. Okay, the pictures that we took. Right. And I said to him, yeah, absolutely. Just so you know, we're going to roll them out on BeDifferentPack.com. And he says, okay, cool. I said, give me your email. And I can send you some high-res versions. That's not bad. I would want the high-res. I just wanted his email. Yeah, I know. So he gives it to me. Okay. Okay, so he gives it to me. I say, cool. I'll send you the gallery link. If you need anything, let me know. Here's my digits. I give him my phone number. And I'm phishing for his. Doesn't he already have your phone number if you're texting? No. This is on Twitter private things because he follows me on Twitter. Okay.

1:14:59I said, here's my digits. And I'm fishing for his. And he just writes back, question mark. Oh, God. Oh, God. Like, he's like, what? Like, what? Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. Like, it definitely says, like, what? I didn't see anything wrong with what you wrote. Yeah, but I think he's like. Here's my digits. What, you're like trying to sound cool about getting fun of him? Yeah, really? He's not digits. Maybe, Mike, maybe. He's got the Twitter application on his phone and he hit like a question mark back and sent it. Maybe not. No. Yeah, maybe he's like. He sent the question mark. First of all, nobody said digits since the show The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on the air. Yeah. So I don't even know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The question mark back. It's worse than a no response bit. Yeah. Because what the question mark back says is, you're so weird, I don't even know what you are. Say it again. Why would I ever call you? I said, cool, I'll send you the gallery link. He didn't know what the gallery link is. Maybe he thought a gallery was like an art gallery, and he was like, what? That's it. Did you write it back? Oh, that makes me feel so much better. That's it.

1:16:23He doesn't know what the gallery is like. Yeah, I wrote him back. See, because I thought he didn't like it, so I wrote him back, and I'm saying, who do you think you are? You S.O.B. How dare you? You're a rookie. No, I'm just kidding. No, maybe he thought that, like, you guys had previously talked about some art gallery that he forgot about. Could be. Mike, I can just see your face when that question mark showed up. I got the question mark. I got the question mark back from him. It made me hot. Yeah. I got the question mark back from him. And my stomach had this cold rock fall into it. Oh, I bet. And I was like, oh gosh. Send the gallery link. Say, here's the gallery with the link. Here's the gallery link I was talking about. And he'll go, oh. Write him back right now. No, no, no, no. Right now, Michael. It's fine. You didn't respond to his question? It's fine. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, I sent him, I emailed him a link to the gallery. Any response? No, he's never responded. He's never responded. He's like, please leave me alone. Yeah, yeah. Hey, dude, let me tell you something. If somebody doesn't, and it doesn't matter who, if somebody doesn't write me back, I'm like, I don't write people back. Some people are like, he's a professional football player. He doesn't seem like the type of person who's really tied to a laptop, sitting around at a desk. I totally disagree. I totally disagree. Me too. Those guys have so much downtime on planes, on, you know. Yeah, but why would he, like.

1:17:50Usually some people go to some sort of job where they like walk into an office like what would he need to really email anyone about they all do About endorsements, about commercials, about, you know, your family. I mean, yeah. LLB, these guys could be in the North Pole. They got a laptop and a phone on them at all times. I'll tell you what, I was behind Marcus McNeil and another charger in the airport in Atlanta because they were on the same flight when we went out to Charleston. And both of them, for the 20-minute walk, were on their phones sending emails like the whole time. Well, maybe he gets just so many that he can't give you the thanks. Yeah. Could be. Could be. Let's see. M1 Kyle from RB. Hey, I was wondering when Mr. Sweeney comes on, are you going to play the Courtship of Eddie Father's theme song for Woodsy? Yeah, that's a great point. Is it? Don't embarrass me, you guys. Don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass me. You guys. You've done that enough yourself. No, I haven't. We're friends. Woods. Do not embarrass me, Mike. Woods.

1:18:56What? What are the odds that we don't embarrass you? Zero. No chance. That was such an evil laugh. He texted me, by the way, and he said that we are good for 8 o'clock, so you can all feast. He did? Yes, just now. Can I see that text? Yes. You didn't see Woods' face light up? Can you prove that he said that? What's up? Thank you very much. Oh, you're getting it all queued up real sweetly over there? I'm trying to. I'm trying to find it. Too bad. Do we still have that, Jay? No. No. Do we still have... Oh, wow. Look at Jay. He is spun out, dude. He's doing a lot. He's doing a lot right now. It's okay, Jay. There's no phone screener right now. It's all right, Jay. I should pretend and be like... Just freak him out. Like I'm freaking out. Like I can't find him. We don't need it, Mike. We don't have to have it. Oh, I'm going to find it. We'll get it queued up by the time Mike calls him. Why don't you just play the Friends theme song? Because that's not the theme I want. I'll be there for you.

1:19:59When the rain starts to pour. I like that one. Play that one. I can find it for you. The Friends theme song? No, you know what I'm talking about, right? Yep. I'll hunt it down. It's so great. Woods, it's okay. Is it? You guys are embarrassing me in front of my new friend. Ah-ha. The guy's going to show me how to rake, man. Wow, Woods. He's going to give you some help with a bitch. The guy's going to show me how to rake. He is, and you know what? We're going to be friends, and he's a friend of mine already. Yeah. He's a good dude, man. Real good guy. And he likes me, too. Seems like it's a weighted friendship. Like, one side is... I don't feel that. I don't feel that. I hate you! I don't feel L.O.B. that Mike Sweeney likes Woods way more than Woods likes him. No, no. Mike, I was implying the other way. That Woods likes him more than he likes Woods. You were saying that you believe that Woods likes Sweeney more? You guys shut up. He's probably listening right now and you're going to embarrass me and I will be so mad at all of you. It's killing me! It's killing me! You just think that because you guys are besties he's just hanging on your every word on the air of Woods? Doesn't have a life just listening right now? He's listening?

1:21:12This is what's going through Wood's mind right now. I'm going to tell you what's going through his mind right now. He's like, if I respond to this, then they're just going to do it more. And so I'm just going to pretend it doesn't bother me. I've never seen him not fight back as much as he's not fighting back right now. He is not fighting back at all. You guys ever just ruin a friendship? You guys ever just put me on the spit? Just roast me up real good? You guys ruin my street crowd. Jett's assistant. Interesting story there. You guys are just messing up my chance for BP. Sweet dog's not going to be blocking this. Oh my gosh. I can't wait. You guys just going to friend block me real good? The kid's trying to get out there and make friends. Yeah. I don't have a lot of friends here. I figured I'd associate with some nice, upstanding guys. And I'd get ridiculed for it. The guy just happens to be a professional baseball player. I met a guy that I really like. He just happened to be a ball player. Here's the deal. Wait, wait, wait. I gotta tell this. I gotta tell this.

1:22:30The other night when we were at the charity event that Mike Sweeney was at, at the end of the night. Sween dog. Sween dog. Woods had had, maybe Woods had had a glass of wine. Yeah, one. Maybe Woods had had a glass of wine. And he hugged Mike Sweeney goodbye. He hugged me too. I know he did. Was it a hug? No, let me tell you. It was a hug hug. When he hugged Sweeney. I hate you. He lingered. You're full of ass. Did he close his eyes? You're so full of ass. Your eyes are brown, pal. He closed his eyes, didn't he? Can I recreate the hug? Yes, please do. Please, Woodsy. With you. Not with me. I'll be you. You be Mike Sweeney. You're full of ass. Okay, can I recreate it with you, Sienna? Yeah. Creepy. You're Mike Sweeney. No, you're going to get in Mike's head. Mike, it's okay to hug me. That's disgusting. You're a married man. Stop! You're Mike Sweeney. Why would you do, grab Sweeney's butt? No, you're Mike Sweeney, and I am Woodsy. This is how Woodsy... Now, granted, Sweeney was going for just hugging a guy goodbye. This was what? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. No, no, no. Yeah, Sweeney went to put his hand on me! Let me show you. Here's how it goes. Oh!

1:23:46You're so full of it. He's hanging on Sienna. At least my guys write me back, pal. Oh, they're still hanging on each other. I hate you all. Mike, call in a little early. Mike buried your face in my neck. It was. No, it was not. Let me just tell you. What I just did right now was the greatest. I believe it. It was the hug of two mafiosos that have been in the same mafioso gang. It's called a family, by the way. Same family. Gang. For 20 years, and one of them just got made. Except the other one didn't know that the other one just got made. Did he or did he not go in with a hand first? No, he didn't. He knew to hug. What did you whisper to him while you guys were hugging? Nothing. You're so... What are you wearing? You smell so good. I hate you all. What kind of cologne did he have on? I hope this friendship...

1:24:45Continue, sweetheart. I hate you all. You're blowing it for me. It's a good thing I'm a stalker, and he's just a nice dude. I'll have to dedicate this song to Sweet Knock. You smell like rainbow kisses and angels' wings. I smell like leather oil. You smell like leather and tobacco. Hey, dude, I don't mean this weird. You smell like the inside of a brand-new Porsche. I got to do Lauren's recap here in a bit. Woodsy's got Woods on Sports coming up in just a bit. Want to let people know the Mikey-thon is two days away, and at 6 o'clock at night on the Mikey-thon, we're going to try to set a Guinness Book of World Records. We just went through and tried to find one that was funny. So we're going to have people pull into this big back parking lot that we have and honk.

1:26:11Jingle bells and hit their lights to jingle bells. And they're trying to set a world record with it. Six o'clock so people know. Woods, stop rolling your eyes. Sween dog, I love you. I love you, Sween dog. I hate you guys. Woods has had it. I've had it. Mike Sweeney is on the line. Hi, Mike. How are you? I'm doing good, Brother Woods. I'm up in Adams. Just dropped the kids off at school, going to get a little workout in. No better place right now. I'd rather be with you guys. Let me tell you. I've met Mike a few times now, and this is what I will tell you about him. This guy is as classy and stand-up and good a guy as it gets, and he really is. Let me tell you, Mike, we have been giving Woods.

1:27:10so much crap about this. Oh, yeah. I mean, we have just been ribbing this guy. Having the time of our lives. Yeah, because here's the deal, and I'm going to be completely honest with you. Woods is a guy who generally is the guy that all the guys want to hang out with. He's a likable guy. Yeah, and it's the truth. He's a guy's guy, and he's the guy that... he's having to very politely kind of avoid because there's so many dudes that would want to hang out with him. And that's a true statement. And so to see him meet someone and he's actually going, I want to be friends, is very unusual. It's very unusual. Now what you've got to know is that A, Woods is a baseball guy, and B, well, He's a baseball guy. I think that's really all there is. B is a baseball guy. Well, and then he's a ball player. He's holding a baseball in his hand right now? I always do, you clown. You're like, don't throw the ball and get mad. So, Mike, you've been a very good sport, obviously, about all of this. But my question to you is, when you got Woods' text that said,

1:28:35Need some help at the dish, bro. That's it all. Woods is covering up his face and banging the door right now. He's mortified. Woods, come back to the microphone. Explain yourself. Tell us. Here's my thing. I was in between my workouts yesterday, and I got the text from Woods, and I'm like, man, you know what? You're a rock star here in town. He's a good-looking guy. I know guys have man crushes on them. He's a man's man. He's the type of guy you probably want to go have a cold one with after work. It's true. Go watch a Chargers game on Sunday with. Go play poker on Friday night with. He's an awesome dude. I felt bad. I'm like, man, if you're going to be representing 94-9 on Sunday on the team that you accused me of being on with you. Yes. Dude, you cannot stink it up out there. I did. I did formally invite him over to my house. We have a cage, and it's lit up so we can get him over after everyone's in bed, and we can just go out and hit until we either sweat or freeze our butts off either one. That is so good. I'm going to get you locked in. Let me tell you. I can't explain Woods' look. Mike, Woods is so happy. He's so happy. Oh.

1:29:48That's the understatement of the year. All right, so we've done a significant amount of ribbing of Woods here. So now I've got to move on to this business. Yes. Who was the first person to text you about Cliff Lee? You know what? My dad called me this morning, and it's awesome. It was funny. When I was in Philly last year, I was telling GM that I said, hey, I played with Cliff just three weeks ago, and he wants to come back. And my dad, that's what he called it. He said, man, you've been saying that for months that you thought Cliff Lee was going to end up in Philly. I'm just glad no one took notes on it because they'd make me look a lot better than I am. Right. I'm happy for Cliff. He's a back and, you know, getting a chance to play with Ty Young Award winners last year was a joy. Playing in Felix Hernandez and Cliff Lee, even though he didn't win it last year.

1:30:49What an incredible bullpen this team has. It's not bullpen. Starting rotation. Starting rotation. Come on, dude. I don't know anything about baseball. We need to get you over the cage, Mikey. Hey, listen. I don't know anything about baseball. When we were walking out of Children's when we met you that day, Mike, and obviously this is no disrespect. I just don't know baseball. I said to Woods, I said, is he famous? And Woods goes, yeah, he plays for the Phillies. And I said, Who is he? And he goes, dude, that's Mike Sweeney. Yeah, man. And it's because I don't know baseball. You know, I don't know anything. I don't know from baseball. Okay, so the starting rotation. It's filthy. You got Halliday, one. You got Lee, two. You got Hamels, three. Who's four? Blanton? We got Rosewalt. Oh, my God. You got freaking Roy Oswalt. That's right. Oh, my God. Four. And then Blanton, five? No, Blanton, five. And they're going to be the team to beat, I think, in baseball. There's no question. There's no question. Holy smokes. It's going to be fun. If they invite me back, I'll be going back there easily. In a heartbeat. That's great. That's great. Mike Sweeney also said that he will be a be different guy, which is cool. I'm 100% in on that. I checked out your guys' website, and I've listened to your show. That's what I'm all about, being kind of countercultural. Our culture today is kind of sucking us downstream. For those of us that want to make a difference, we're going to have to...

1:32:15swim upstream and it's gonna it's gonna take a lot of effort to swim upstream in this current crazy current that is our culture but you know what if kids are gonna look up to you know parents and have role models and some athletes and we got to be counter-cultural and that's what obviously be different oh i love that great you know and the thing about mike too i talked to a friend of mine he lives in wichita kansas and mike played a lot of years with the royals and the things that My friend John Fenwick told me about Mike Sweeney, and he's like, ask Mike about a guy named Mark Cameron. Does that name sound familiar? Mark Cameron? Yeah, the name sounds familiar. He is a kid that jumped into a pool or a lake. He broke his neck. And Mike heard about it, went, visited the guy, helped raise a lot of money for the guy. My friend Fenwick lives in Wichita. He goes, dude, Woodsy, they talk about Mike Sweeney and his wife probably every day still. still in the Kansas City and Wichita area about just what a good, great ball player. I mean, what's your lifetime average? 297, something like that? From the career 300, which you guys, 300 is in the major leagues. That's the benchmark, man. That's the upper echelon players. And they said great ball player, even better, dude. I mean, just a phenomenal guy. Mike, I have a question. Can you teach somebody?

1:33:43how to hit a baseball? So 100%, brother. Go over the cage. I guarantee you'll be hitting just as good as my six-year-old within an hour. For real? Because, I mean, in all honesty, in all honesty, I've never been taught how to hit a baseball. And I want to be able to, this is a true story. I bought a series of DVDs about how to teach kids about football, and it's a Bill Parcells DVD set. And I bought it so that I could teach my boys because I've never been taught anything. And I want to be able to teach my boys, and I want to be a good dad. That's awesome. I don't know how to hit a baseball, but I didn't know that you could actually teach somebody how to hit a baseball. It was Sunday after Mass, and we had this little boy over, and he never picked up a football bat. He was a friend of my boy's, Michael, a little boy named Will, Will Banning. And he said, you know, Big Mike, I don't know how to go. He said, I can't hit off this machine. It's throwing way too fast.

1:34:51Within about two minutes, it's just encouraging and a little bit of mind massage and just letting him know, hey, I believe in you, son. You're going to do it. And then, you know, shoot, five minutes, he was hitting every ball, and he was smiling from ear to ear. That's rad. There's nothing better than seeing a young kid smile. Mike, no pressure. The six-year-old did it. Can you? Oh, my gosh. Mike, do you think I could in two minutes? Do you think I could hit a baseball out of a pitching machine? Yeah. I promise you, by the time you leave, you'll be hitting, I mean, 90% of the ball. Oh, wow. The problem is a 40-year-old guy has more baggage and head games than a 6-year-old. That is true. That's what you'd have to overcome. That is 100% true. Well, Mike, listen, thank you for coming on. Thank you for being a good sport. Great sport. Yeah, we'll take you up on the batting cage thing. Now I know why Woods loves him so much. Hey, if you want to bring Lauren around. you can bring her too. There you go. I'll just invite myself. Why are you guys horning in on my friend, you guys? I'm bringing the beer. Come on. All right, Mike. You can sign my memorabilia. There you go. Exactly. I'm a big fan. There you go. All right, man. Thanks for calling. It was great, man. I'll text you later, man. Again and again. It's different, man. I'm on board, man. 100% with you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, well, after Christmas, we'll get that going.

1:36:17Merry Christmas to you guys. Thank you. He's a good dude. Can you tell? The guy's great. He's just such a nice guy. He's a really good dude. Would you expect anything less of Woods for a best friend? Right. I mean, come on. M1 Chris is on the line. Chris, what was the word of the day? North Pole. Yeah. Chris has been hanging on like a true kind. Yes, you have. Well, you won a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld worth $276. Yeah. Big, man. And a pair of Anarchy sunglasses. So congratulations and hang on the line. Thanks a lot. There you go. Okay. So I got to read. Well, should we? Let's do. Trying to decide. Let's do this. Let's do some Woods on Sports. Woods, just living the dream. You okay, Woods? I'm fine. All right. You don't have to act cool in front of your friends. You're not Danny Zuko. I'm not. I do kind of think that Woods should go by himself to the cage, though. Yeah. I feel bad. We'll ruin it. I think it should be his thing. I'm very mad at you guys. And the second time we'll all go. I think we honed in. I think it's his moment to shine. Yeah. A hundred.

1:37:36It's all you, buddy. No, I don't care. You guys are more than welcome. You guys are family. I'm going no matter what. But you know what? I won't go. You guys should not go. You can take my Phillies hat with you, okay? I will. Woods on Sports, by the way, is brought to you by our friends at Clearview Eye and Medical Laser Center. There were two NFL games last night because of the collapse in the Metrodome. The Giants and Vikings had to go to Detroit. Detroit! And it was a big night for a lot of reasons. Most of all, Brett Favre's streak ended. And they are talking about putting him on injury reserve that would effectively end his career. Here's Brett Favre talking about the situation. Cut one. It's been a long time. You know, I'd much rather be playing. Or texting. And that's just my nature. I don't want to say it was time. It's probably been long overdue. It's probably been a lot of times. The streak should have ended. He's talking about starting. It's a streak. 297 regular season games. Oh, my gosh. Really? Yeah. That's insane. That is insane. 20 years. He's an Iron Man, dude. And you know what? Don't worry. We'll see him next year, I'm sure. But the farveless Vikings lost 21-3 to the Giants in Detroit. Did I ever tell you guys about Detroit? Talk about a team that just imploded. Had all the...

1:39:03People are thinking they go to the Super Bowl. Absolutely, they were. Also, there was a really exciting game last night, the Ravens and the Texans. The Ravens blew a huge lead. The Texans lost in overtime on a pick six, 34-28. And the Ravens are rolling along, and the Texans are just, man, they've lost some tough, heartbreaking games this year. Yeah. And also, we talked about it a little bit when we started today. There's a running back for the Dallas Cowboys. He's a third-string running back. His name is Tashard Choice. After the game, which the Cowboys lost, he walked up to Mike Vick, the dog-killing quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles. MV7. And asked him. Who, by the way, speaks to kids for the SPCA. Court-ordered. And has changed. Yeah, he's great. It's not court-ordered anymore. He walked up to Mike Vick. I know, he's rad. Walked up to Mike Vick and asked him to sign a glove for his nephew, for Tashard Choice's nephew. Now, these guys have a history. They're both from Atlanta, the area. They know each other. And after the game, he just walked up and said, hey, Mike, will you sign this for my nephew? Mike said, absolutely. He had a marker. He had a glove. And he signed it. Well, people in Dallas flipped out. Flipped out. Tashad Choice doesn't care about winning. He's, you know, there's no way he should do it. He embarrassed himself. He embarrassed the organization. I think it is absolutely absurd. Nobody in this world dislikes Mike Vick more than I do. Nobody. However, it's not a big deal, in my opinion.

1:40:30I think it's because of the rivalry. It doesn't matter still. It's after the game. You know, A-Rod and David Ortiz go out to dinner now. And it's like, you know, these guys are all, we talk about the fraternity that Mike Sweeney and I are in. You know, we're all just, we're all. I mean, it's a game. Yeah. You go out on the field of battle and you want to go grab a beer with the guys after. I mean, the Yankees, Red Sox is a little different, but. Still, I don't have a problem with after the game him going, hey, let me get this autograph. You don't have to become enemies just because you play on different teams. And it was a respect thing. Would you think it was weird if a Yankee asked a Red Sox to sign a baseball glove? No, because I'll tell you, they do ESPN commercials now with David Ortiz. jorge posada sitting right next to each other and it's like are you fine with that i'm okay with it it's okay with it yeah i mean it's it is sportsmanship is what it is but that really is more of hey man we just did battle this isn't for me i'm not putting in my personal collection because i'm a mike vick lover it's for my nephew who loves you and thinks you're a great guy which you're not but i'm gonna get this autograph for him anyway

1:41:32Nice uncle. Yeah, he's a good uncle. I think, yeah, I think it would be great to give that to his nephew and say, hey, listen, here's a guy that changed and, you know, should be forgiven. He's a guy that had to change. Yeah, he had to change. He got caught, so then he had to change. He did not have to. Didn't change on his own. If he wanted to play in the NFL again, he had to change. He didn't have to play. He got caught. Or he would have been working at a gas station. Well, hang on. No, that is true. In order for him to play in the NFL, he could no longer. participate in dog fights. Right. That is a true fact. But it is also a true fact that Michael Vick has gone on the record and said, I had to like learn how wrong this was. Yeah. And I realized what I was doing was really bad. Yeah. And I don't ever want to do it again. And I got a changed heart and I'm different. Cool. There are some people that would believe that. Horse racing is just as bad as dog fighting. I would beg to differ. Because the horses are only bred to race, and then they get shot if they get hurt, and they shouldn't be racing in the first place. I mean, there's degrees of what people believe are right and wrong. Yeah, there's really no black and white.

1:42:42when it comes to electrocuting or drowning a defenseless dog. There's no gray area. He didn't know it was wrong in the first place? No, he did. He's a millionaire trying to make $40,000 on a dog fight. It's sadistic. He knew it was wrong in the first place, but then he got caught. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and he's admitting that it was wrong. But wait a minute. Are you saying that the only way that somebody can change is if they don't get caught? I'm saying had he not been caught, he would still be dog fighting. Well, the fact is... that he's changed. And the fact is... The fact is, we'll see. For the moment. Yeah, for the moment. You're right. I can't wait until the offseason. Cannot. You think it's the last we've heard of Ron Mexico? Trust me. It's not. If he's dogfighting again, I'm with you, man. I'm with you. I am. But until then, man, I saw... You want to hope for the best in someone. Yeah, because last night, you know, they were showing the game and they showed a picture of him. I even thought of Woodsy. Of course. Because they showed a picture of him talking to these kids. Yeah. And it made me feel good that, you know. His PR team worked so hard to get that shot on. I believe in forgiveness and reform. And if the criminal justice system can work, then that's good for America. There's a few things I don't believe in forgiveness for. And I know that's wrong of me. But there's certain things that people can do to other humans or animals that there is no justification for.

1:44:09There isn't. There isn't. But there is. That's one of them in my book. You guys know that. Yeah, sure they can. Sure they can. You know, but I just think it's, I think he's missing that chip, man. That chip that makes you a compassionate, normal human being. He never admitted to all the acts that you keep listing, by the way. He admitted to being there. L-O-B. It is well. See, that's what I read, but I wasn't going to argue it. It is well documented what he did. There was other people that said, yeah, I saw him do it. He never came out and admitted it and said, I did this, I did that. But he's throwing his hands up being like, you know what? Either way, I was there and I supervised it. Ben Roethlisberger never admitted to sexually harassing and forcing himself on other women. But he did get in trouble from the league by doing it. But we don't talk about Big Ben every day. I do. Didn't Vic own the facility that it was all going on? Yeah, he was supervising the whole thing. He owned. He owned the place. He owned the place. I mean, it's bad. It was all awful. I wouldn't admit to everything that. It was piled on either. If I could get two years and not ten years, absolutely. I don't believe in anything he did. I just believe in forgiving him and hoping that he's changed. That would make me happy. We will see. Yeah. That's not the last you're going to hear, Mike. M1 Eagle fan from Fallbrook. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on? Well, I wanted to voice in on a couple things. I think the Tashar and Choi's autograph was awesome. It just shows that these ballplayers are human, too.

1:45:33heroes just like anybody else. And this kid, you know, to Shard Choice, probably looked up to Vic before all the... He did. He did. They were friends before. Yeah, and it just shows that on the field, you know, after the game, those barriers kind of come down. It's like, hey, you know, can I get this autograph? Sure. And Vic patting him on the head after the game. I'm just like, you know, they're regular guys. I didn't see a problem with that either. Me either. Me either. It's fine. M1, Mr. Dodgeball from San Diego. Hey, what's up, guys? I just want to say I absolutely love you guys. Love been listening to the show every morning. I'm a huge Woods fan. Huge Woods fan. But it gets me a little upset when he ever starts talking about Michael Vick and dialing him every time there's an issue with him. I don't think he understands the background he came from. I don't care what background he came from. You've got to know what's right and what's wrong. Yeah, but when you are brought up with seeing it and doing it and maybe older people bringing you up, doing it, people that you look up to, Sure. I wasn't. Hey, dude, I'll tell you, Mr. Dodgeball, I'll tell you, I was not brought up in a house that said that it was wrong. And in the community that I lived in, in Yuma, Arizona, there's a big Mexican population.

1:47:00They used to do dog fighting, and I grew up as a little kid thinking it was really cool. And that, unfortunately, there's pockets everywhere where that is the... That's the perception. There are cultures that think it's okay to eat other humans. There are cultures that I grew up, I saw my mom get the crap beat out of her when I was a little kid. Did you think it was wrong? Yes, I thought it was wrong. But it's how I grew up, man. It's how I grew up. I saw my mom get beat up. I guess that entitles me to beat my wife up. The difference is that when you saw that, you knew it was wrong. Well, I was like five years old, but I didn't know what the hell was going on. But if your mom thought it was okay, then you'd probably be under the... impression that it was it's just that that like I've made this argument before when you take something that's defenseless whether it's a human or whether it's an animal and you not only engage in sport it's a call it a sport if you will right because you bet money and you win money on it it's a sport yeah and they're vicious and they're vicious

1:48:01When you paint the picture, you always seem to paint the picture like they put a couple of beagles in there. No, I'm not, but they did, actually. But there's a reason why they're vicious. Right, they train them to be vicious. And the way they treat them. Yes, they're trained to be vicious. They starve them. They're trained to be vicious, but they're also innately able to be vicious. Do you know the other thing? Okay, let's say this. I don't think you could train your dogs to do that, Woods. Not mine, but listen real quick. I could, actually. I could make my dogs vicious. I could starve them. I could starve them. I could force them to fight. I don't think that they're... I absolutely could. I don't think their temperament is one to fight, though. Let me run this by you. So let's say that two pit bulls fight, and that's a sport and you're winning money. Let's say one of them gets hurt and he's gravely hurt. Now, I know people in Texas that have ranches and cows get caught in barbed wire and things like that, or they're lame and they have to be killed. They do it humanely. The way that they did it to these dogs, that's what bothers me more than anything. Michael Vick, and it's been documented that it was Michael Vick, picked one up over his head, slammed it in the ground until he died. That is sadistic. It's not what I read either. I'll show you. You're going to have to. He electrocuted them and drowned them. When this happened, I was at the old station, and I had a PDF file of the entire indictment.

1:49:22And I read the whole thing because it was fascinating. It is super fascinating. And I can't remember what their names were. They had slang names. Two other main guys said they cited Vic at doing certain things. Yeah. But anyway, it's all wrong. I mean, it's all wrong. But all I'm saying is that if I had seen my mom get beat up, which I never did, I would know it was wrong. And I'm telling you that when I was growing up and dog fights were going on, I always wanted to be able to go. Some of my friends did get to go because their uncles were into the dog fighting. And I always wanted to get to because my culture when I grew up, that was really cool. I didn't have a reaction to it like, oh my gosh, my mom is getting hurt. Can you compare it to bullfighting in Spain? Exactly. Which I'm all the way out on. Right. But Spaniards, that's how they're grown up. I mean, Woods, I see your point a thousand percent. It's a defenseless animal and you feel terrible for them. But when you are raised like that, you have a completely different perception. And it's unfair and it's sad. And it's wrong. Yeah. But unfortunately, that, especially in the child's mind, will change how they think. Yeah. 570-1949. You can weigh in on that. I gotta get.

1:50:36to Lauren's recap because I want to discuss it so much. I can't wait. You can't? Yeah, I want to know what it is. All right, I'll tell you. This is actually on a mix CD that I made for my first boyfriend. What size was she? She's about a 14. All right, we're going to get to Lauren's recap. It is a bunch of recap. Recap. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Comic-Con, they're trying again to get these passes out there. Third time's a charm. Third attempt. Yeah, their website was crashing every time they tried to release the badges to get into the convention center this summer. So it's happening tomorrow, Wednesday morning. Those that want to go to Comic-Con, you can try again. Also, an ex-staffer who worked with WikiLeaks.

1:52:19Chief Julian Assange. Right. He has launched another rival whistleblower site, which started yesterday. It's called Open Leaks. Oh, wow. Maybe the original. Open Leaks. Open Leaks. Yeah. It's created with the same goal to provide a haven for whistleblowers. Other Leaks. Yeah. Other Leaks. Woods, what's going on in sports? The New York Jets assistant coach who tripped the Miami Dolphins player, we all talked about that yesterday, his name is Sal Alosi, has been suspended for the rest of the year and fined $25,000. Sal Alosi, we actually have, if you're queued up, some audio. Cut three, what were you thinking? That's the problem. Nothing went through my head. I wasn't thinking. Had I been thinking, I had to take a step back instead of leaning forward. Oh, man. Yes, not a good move, my friend. That guy got in a little trouble. 25K. Yeah, 25 grand. He probably didn't make all that much either as a strength and conditioning coach. Concussions in the NFL are up 21% this year. 154 concussions were reported from the start of the preseason through the eighth week of the regular season. That's 21%. Oh, not good. That's not good at all, man. I'm surprised that, you know, we can send satellites into space.

1:53:34I'm surprised that they haven't come up with a foolproof helmet. I know, man. I know. One that's just absolutely foolproof. I'm surprised that, and I know that they have, but some of the older guys from the old school NFL aren't just train wrecks right now. A lot of them are. They show on Real Sports, they had this story about these guys that are all jacked. That's so sad. And it's like Muhammad Ali, you know. From the concussions. Earl Campbell's like that. Your brain is shaking around in your head. I know I played football in spring football, sophomore year. I took one hit to the head and was like, oh my God, that hurts so bad. And it was brutal. I was like, maybe I pick up a bat. Just to let people know, Mikey Thawne is two days away. Oh my goodness. And I want people to know that one of the auction items is going to be dinner at my house. with The Mikey Show. Nice. So it'll be me and Woods and Sienna and L.O.B. and Jay will be over at my house. My favorite restaurant in the world, Pample Moose. Jeff's going to come over, make Pample Moose food at the house. And it's for four people. So get together with some friends and put together the dough. Now, it doesn't have to be at my house. It could be at your house. You get to pick. But it starts at $1,500.

1:54:54And we're hoping that we can just make this thing go through the roof, you know, in terms of bidding. Getting a lot of phone calls, and we'll get to them in just a bit. I want to get... Let me guess. Of course. Shut up, Woods. No, no, no, no. It isn't shut up, Woods. Some people will agree with you. I wonder if L.O.B. would feel the same if he played for the Cowboys or the Redskins. I was thinking the very same thing. I probably wouldn't. I know. Really? You feel the way that you do because he's an eagle? I'm sure it's got to be swayed by that. It has to be. It has to be. I'm not an eagle fan. You're willing to, I think you're willing to look past a lot more. I probably, it has to be. Like A-Rod being a tool that he's been his whole career. I'm like, fine, he's on my team. I really do like to see a turnaround story. And if someone can, I don't. I'll tell you what. I think it's a waste of a life to just let somebody rot and be like, you're no good and block you away. If he keeps his nose clean, more power to him, man. He's going to have to, he's going to get his one day. You know what I mean? It's true. We all got to answer for everything that we've done. He'll have to do that someday. Maybe he's getting his right now. He's like on top of the world right now. He's like. He's hated by a lot of people. That's why I said the other day, I did a highlight about him. I go, more proof that karma does not exist is Michael Vick slinging touchdowns. Yeah, and you know.

1:56:14You're right. One of these days, he'll have to count to everything. But here, what I'm seeing, man, and I do, I want to believe in a good luck story. And I want to believe in a guy that's turned it around. I don't want to believe that the guy's just a monster and that that's all he'll ever be. Root for Josh Hamilton, then. I love him, too. I do. I do. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. Morning, Mike. Morning. How are y'all doing? Good, man. Hey. I am a Green Bay Packers fan. I'm calling from Wisconsin, but I'm also a Mike Vick fan. And the reason I'm a Mike Vick fan is because there's a lot of guys out there that are like him. There's guys that are young that came from really messed up childhoods. And, you know, I've conducted about 30 interviews with police officers and convicts and ex-convicts.

1:57:12during my college career. And I can tell you, upbringing has a huge, huge factor in it. I agree with you, man. But to me, it's an argument that I've been in trouble with the law. Mike was asking me about that on the break. I've been in trouble with the law. I got DUIs before. My parents didn't drink. People are going to do what they're going to do. You know what I mean? It's somewhat similar, but not really. When you're growing up in an environment where there's a lot of drug deals and murder is kind of a daily occurrence, and you grew up where Mike Vick did with two parents who worked more than 60 hours a week between them in that kind of environment, the moral implications of dogfighting don't come into it when it brings in extra income. Right, but Ryan Matthews grew up in a car. He grew up in a car when he was a little kid. His mom chewed food and gave him food. There are guys that grow up in those situations that realize the gifts that they have and the way out and the good right next thing to do, and they do those things. I mean, you can grow up in the hood and turn out to be a good dude. But violence and crime is different than poverty. That's anecdotal evidence. That's like saying that a friend of yours wore his seatbelt in his car.

1:58:31and got into an accident, and because he wore a seatbelt, he died, so you don't wear a seatbelt. Right, yeah, and I've heard that bit before. The statistics are, if you grow up in the situation Mike Vick did, you're hosed. Mike Vick is going to be fine. But he wasn't hosed, man. He was a multi-million dollar quarterback, highest paid player in the league. He was not hosed, dude. He was already an established quarterback when he did this crap. No, no, no. I'm not saying that Mike Vick is hosed. I was going to say Mike Vick is going to be fine. But there's a lot of people out there that are just like Mike Vick. No question. They have talent. They have intelligence. Oh, yeah. But the situation they grow up in really hamstrings them. Absolutely. He got past that hamstring, though, man. That's what I'm saying, is that it was way later. It's easy to hate Mike Vick because Mike Vick is making money. I mean, he's $20 million in the hole right now because he had to declare bankruptcy. I know. I know. But he's going to make his money, okay? And it's easy to hate Mike Vick because he's making his money right now. But the thing is, there's a lot of guys out there that are just like him that are not getting a second chance. Absolutely. And the attitude that we have towards convicts and ex-convicts, when you talk to them, the reason they commit crimes again is because no one gives them a chance to make a legitimate... Dude, I'm all about that, bro. I really do. I see your point. And here's the deal. A guy is 18. He steals a car.

1:59:55Okay? He does something dumb one night. He gets in an accident. He was drinking and driving. He gets in a wreck. He steals a car. He robs a bank. Something. He steals a purse. Those, to me, make more sense than what the senseless, cruel, sadistic things that Mike Vick did. I have five dogs. I would have, if I had my choice, my dream when I'm retired is to have a farm with 300 dogs that were abused. That's just how I am. It's my thing. Mike's thing is Rady Discovery. If I was doing the Woods Thon, it would be for PETA, or not PETA necessarily, but the Humane Society, or the ASPCA. That's my thing. Everyone has their hot buttons. They have their hot buttons, and that's mine. I look at my dogs' faces, and I'm like, you mother. You know the deal with me is that the whole reason that I was inspired to do Be Different. is because my son is autistic, okay? And it got me to think about our culture. It got me to think about all that stuff. And I thought, you know, I have never, ever been the guy to make fun of people who are handicapped. It's always hurt me. You know, even when I was a shock jock, my thing wasn't to make fun of people that were...

2:01:21disabled because it always hurt my heart and maybe God will remind me one day don't you remember this one time and I do remember laughing at stuff I remember that I remember laughing at stuff but if somebody ever beat my son up because he's autistic you know and I were there I would defend my son you know With extreme prejudice. Absolutely. We all would. We all would. Okay. But what I can also tell you is that I would forgive that person if that person changed. Sure. And if somebody ever said horrible things about my autistic son and changed, I would forgive them. Dude, I am right there with you. And that's my thing. I'm being obstinate and I'm being stubborn. That's what's in my heart.

2:02:23to do with somebody like that. And I think that he changed because he got caught. That's what I'm saying. I think he changed me. And it's happened, bro. But that's you guys. That's filling in the blanks. And that's how I feel. Well, he didn't turn himself in. Right. And the only reason that he's not doing it now is because he got caught. Exactly. Yeah, but I mean that he got caught and he's having to pay the price now. And he doesn't have to go above and beyond. He could just go out there and play ball and stay out of the... But I think he's trying to get his sponsors back and all that kind of stuff. He's got 20 million in the hole. But that's what you think. And my thing is, I don't buy it. I don't buy it. And I get the fact that that's what he was brought up with. And he's like, okay, gosh, you know, this is what we did when we were kids. But when he got older and then went to the extremes to hide it that he went to. And keep it a secret because he knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong. But he still had come with the same circle of friends. Shoot, that's what I grew up with, but now. He was still in the same circle of friends. I'll tell you what, LB. People that were doing that stuff. Since I got this job, since I got this job that I'm so lucky to have.

2:03:27I can't hang out with people I used to hang out with. Yeah, but Woods, we don't have the same. None of us on the show and the majority of San Diego could never relate to the kind of upbringing. But not only that, not only that, it's like nobody is denying the fact that what he did was horrific and that he knew and willfully knew that what he was doing was horrific. I guess what I have an issue with is that, like Woods said, The only reason that I don't have DUIs is because I wasn't caught. Right. But that doesn't mean that I didn't drive when I was drunk because I did. And you knew it was wrong. And I knew it was wrong. I've also lied. I've also cheated. I've cheated on women. I've taken advantage of people. I've hurt people with my mouth to the point where I've crushed their feelings. You know. That's why I say it's so easy for us to hold a flashlight in our hand than it is for us to hold a mirror. Sure. I get that. Because, you know, one thing that I don't buy, there are certain things that you can tell me that someone did that was wrong that I may think is extraordinarily wrong. But what I don't buy is, well, you know, what I did isn't as bad as what you did. Oh, I buy that.

2:04:57I don't, and the reason that I don't buy it is because the only reason that one thinks that is because it doesn't shine the light on their deal. So you're saying a DUI is the same as dog fighting? Dog killing. Or am I missing the point? That mic is hot. It could be worse if you hurt somebody. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. I'm sorry. I never did. So is it the same? I should be like, man, I screwed up. I got a DUI, so I should put myself in the same category as a dog killer. No, you know what you should do? See, and I've said this before. It isn't about what you say. It's about what you don't say. You know, it's glass houses, man. Oh, dude, I'm a scumbag, bro. That's the thing, man. That's me, at a heart. But there are certain things that people can do to other humans, and there are certain things that people can do to animals. They put you in the upper echelon of scumbag. I'm a scumbag. He's an upper echelon scumbag. Scumbags, to me, are child molesters. Rapists. Rapists. Dog killers. Okay. Sadistic dog killing. Now, this is me, and I understand where you're coming from. Believe me, I've heard it loud and clear, that you put a child molester and a dog fighter in the same exact category. Yeah, pretty much.

2:06:25And people are going to freak out. I mean, that's Woods. You can't talk to him out of being how he is. They're going to say, well, I was molested. And I'm just saying that it's something in somebody's brain that doesn't add up. Absolutely. Now, here's what I can tell you. I have never touched kids. I've never raped a woman. I've never done any of that stuff. But what I can tell you is that the stuff that I have done is enough to where... I'm not calling anybody out. And the reason that I'm not calling anybody out is because I'm no Boy Scout. And not only am I not only am I not a Boy Scout, I'm really lucky. And this is my belief system that I'm forgiven for it. Thank goodness. Because compared to somebody that like maybe hasn't done as bad of things as me. Okay. And there are L.O.B. I don't know what LLB's done. I've definitely broken the law. Okay, fine. I didn't get caught for it. Okay, fine. And I don't know, but I bet I've done worse than you. Okay? I bet I've done worse than Sienna. I bet you I have. Okay? Imagine if my maker had to grade on a bell curve and he was like, sorry, dude, you're out of luck. The reason you're out of luck...

2:07:54is because you didn't do as good as her right and you're out of luck because you didn't do as good as him and you're out of luck because you didn't do as good as him in my book i'm just like man i'd rather just go i want to give people the benefit of the doubt and the only reason i say that and i mean this genuinely is because man dude without the benefit of the doubt i'm toast because of all my junk like dude i've hurt women so bad like with the way that i've manipulated them and like they thought I loved them I didn't love them you know and I took advantage of them because I wanted to have sex with them sure and I broke hearts that like I broke this girl's heart one time so bad that she wanted to kill herself how do you think her dad feels about me yeah not very good yeah he probably thinks I'm a monster and you know what I was sure I was. I buy yours. I don't buy his. I buy yours, bro. You buy mine because you've probably done it too. And so you're like, oh, well, we've both done that. I buy the fact that you're changed, man. I buy the fact that you're changed. If six months ago there were rumors that you had raped some chick, like there were rumors that Mike Vick's birthday party. And that's the deal. Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Time out. Eleven months ago there was rumors I was trying to replace Sky with Sienna.

2:09:12That's a freaking lie. But here's the deal. This was not a lie. He said, do not. The commissioner said, don't hang out with your old dog fighting pals. Vic throws himself a birthday party. A guy got shot. So I don't buy his bill. Because he said, don't do anything wrong. Don't get in trouble. Don't go to bars. He had a big blowout for himself. So he can't control everybody who's at his party. You don't have a party. You don't have your old dogfighting buddies coming over to your birthday party. How do you know it was a dogfighting buddy? Because that's what they said in the article. It said it was his dogfighting buddy. He said he is not to associate with the known members of his people. And they were there. And one of the guys got shot somebody. I just don't buy it from him. I buy it from you. I don't buy it from him, and I'm entitled to not buy Ron Mexico's bit, man. And by the way, bro, I want to make it so clear. Woods and I may disagree on this, but I still, dude, you are so entitled to your...

2:10:12And, you know, I mean that. Like, you know, and I don't want anybody to think like, oh, dude, you're wrong, blah, blah, blah. Like, I enjoy the healthy, you know, debate about it, but I love you, bro. Everyone has the right to have their own opinion. Sure. Yeah, love you like crazy. It just, man, it just. We have to break, huh? Absolutely. It gets me in that part of my heart that hurts so bad. Do you think we'll do Lauren's recap at some point? Because I really want it. Phones are on fire. Yeah, I know, man. The phones are blown up. All right, well, we got to take these calls because... Henry Rollins. Henry Rollins is going to be on. Oh, he's on now? Oh, he's on now? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You tell me, what do I got to do? You got to go to Henry. We'll break right after Henry. Okay. They're going to be mad at me in the sales department because I'm over. I know, they're already mad at me. Hi, Henry. Hey. How you doing? Good. I'm good. It's been a very... crazy morning. We've had so much happen on the show this morning and you get to come in right in the middle of all of it. What trouble did you get yourself in? We were talking about Michael Vick and forgiveness and is he a changed guy or is he just changed because he had to and all that kind of stuff which is kind of interesting that we were talking about that because it's sort of in a sort of offbeat way has to do with aggression and rage.

2:11:34and stuff like that, which is what your TV show is about. Henry Rollins, you know from the band Black Flag, all tatted up, pretty hardcore dude. In fact, listen to this. This is the way that you are described in your bio, Henry. Henry was called back to New York to audition for the band Black Flag and spent the next six years riding in vans. sleeping in the back of trucks, getting beaten and mauled on stage, and fronting the baddest, most primal rock and roll band in the history of the world. So true. Now, this... Much better. Yeah, much better now. You've changed. You are living a much more pleasant lifestyle. It is not. It is not. But you got this thing coming on tonight, and it's called...

2:12:36Explorer, Born to Rage. Yeah, it's on tonight at 9 on the National Geographic Channel. Now listen to this. Tell me if this does not sound fascinating. This is what his show is about tonight. They basically, scientists believe that they have perhaps found a single gene that has violent behavior. And Henry Rollins is going to... He's going to kind of come to grips with his own feelings about aggression in his life. And then he's going to go out on a mission to find out if his rage is the product of his upbringing or if it's genetic. And he gets a whole bunch of people in on it. Here's who he kind of studies. Outlaw bikers, MMA guys, Buddhist monks, gangbangers.

2:13:36And Dick Butkus, who was like the premier linebacker, like ferocious linebacker ever. And he's going to do a DNA test to find out which of them carries what he calls the warrior gene. Wow. That's fascinating. Now, do you believe this, Henry? Do you believe that it is a gene that makes guys aggressive? Well, population, it's called the MAOA gene or the monoamine oxidase age. I believe the science. And it's telling scientists that this is a gene that skews for violent or aggressive. Not necessarily every man who has it. Not necessarily every man. So there's a lot to be considered when you look at all of this. They have determined that your genes do more than just determine your hair color and your eye color. There's also a promiscuity gene that they are doing research on. And I don't know if we can say the slut gene on your hair.

2:14:53Just did. Just did. If anyone has a phone number where I can meet these women, only kidding, only kidding. So this gives a new bit of argument to the nature versus nurture discussion. Me personally, I'm a proponent of the nurture in that I think someone is very, you know, their attitude, the way they comport themselves is very much determined by how they are raised, who raised them, when they were born, where they were born. how they're socialized, what music they listen to at an impressionable age, etc. And whether you like it or not, a degree, how all of you are, a degree, how you were raised, where you went to school, and all of that. And so there's a lot of that. And also science is telling us that nature may have something to do with some men's decision as well. Oh, man. How very apropos. Absolutely. There's a lot to take in when you consider that society that we all live in, It's a bunch of moral constructs in that the Constitution and the law are all moralities in that the Constitution is basically be fair. It's 27 amendments and seven articles of how are we going to be fair to people. The law is what's good and what's bad, what's permissible and what's not. So we are, at the end of the day, moral creatures. Science isn't. Here's your information. And so more into a moral environment.

2:16:23Now, see, I believe that I was born an immoral creature and I believe that my propensity was toward immorality and that that's who I was, that I'm different now, but that that's who I was. But you have to have a moral judgment. You have to have a sense of ethic. Right. You have to have a sense of ethic, which I think is fascinating because if you do have a sense of ethic. You have to decide, well, what constitutes a sense of ethic? People, Nietzsche, he made one good point. He said, well, you know, he's fine until you reach 20 and then you've got to reach someone else. But he said that a lot of people in prison would probably be good tribal leaders and good kings. They obviously have leadership quality and society just can't handle it. And that's why they made the law, which is a great.

2:17:23to get in an argument over it. Oh, yeah. 1770s, Immanuel Kant wrote an essay. In the 1770s, Immanuel Kant wrote an essay. He said, ethics are based on the fact that you need to have a judge. In order for there to be ethics, there needs to be a judge. And in order for there to be a judge, the judge cannot be corrupt. And so... And the laws are basically to keep you away from... what you can't handle. And those who care about laws and order, we fear them because they're not hung up like the rest of us who stop at red lights and legally submit to inspection. And some people go like, no, I'm going to shoot back. And that's why all those people get movies made about them and biographies written about them later on. And I don't want to be like that, but it is true. We, in some way, enamor or at least lend a great deal of curiosity to those who kill.

2:18:23break the law, you know, the guy who robs 80 banks, he's going to get on TV faster than you and me for not robbing banks. All day. I think that people that are just tuning in right now may be fascinated to know that you are listening to a published poet and also a lead singer of the baddest, most primal rock and roll band in the history of the world. Black Flag. This is Henry Rollins. Henry, I have to let you go, but I wish I had seven hours with you. Oh, I appreciate it. Because I could talk to you a long time. Born to Rage is on tonight on the National Geographic channel at 9 o'clock, and I will be TiVo-ing it because I go to bed at 6. But I am going to watch it. I am watching it. Oh, great. Thank you. And it looks like it's real good. Thank you very much, Henry. Have a good day. All right, you too. Bye, Hendry. That's Hendry Rollins. Ever been late? Yeah.

2:20:17Mikey-thon's in two days. Less than two days. Less than two days away. It's less than two days away. In less than two days. Well, let's just say this. Two days from this moment, we will have 25 hours to go. Oh, my God. Come on. 24 hours and 43 minutes. Yeah, we'll have more than a day. Perfect. We should talk about Mike Vick the whole time. No. Let's never talk about him again. I'm on board. I'll make a deal. You want to make a deal? What? I will no longer impose my, I won't call him Captain Dog Kill or Ron Mexico. I just won't do it anymore. Why? Because it's, you know. It's your thing. I told you, I don't want to. I don't like the dude, but I don't have to throw in, like, my bid on him. I can just report. I mean, the guy's a hell of a football player, and I've always said that. He's ridiculous.

2:21:20Top of his game. I just don't like him as a person. I think we should all watch Food, Inc. for the Mikey-thon, and then we can all call ourselves murderers and killers for the way that all those animals are treated. Meat is murder. Meat is murder. Then we can call ourselves Captain Cow Kill. I ordered a steak at L.O.B.'s birthday dinner, and the whole table was like... Excuse me? Dropping silverware. Look at that murderer. I don't eat cow. No, chickens get treated pretty badly as well. Yeah, they do. They do, they do, they do. But they're not as cute and cuddly as dogs. But they're not domestic house pets. They are for some people. You know what? Cows taste so good in A1s. Cows taste so good. Oh my gosh. These leather boots and belt that I have are just dynamite. N-L-O-B with her. Shiny leather purse over there. Don't you do it. Don't you do it. I look at what my wife eats and I'm like, man, don't you want a piece of bacon? Don't you want some wrapped in a piece of filet? Sausage. A patty of sausage. Delicious. Tastes so good. Tastes so good. I guess I'm hypocritical and I'll admit that. That's fine. We all are. We all are. Let's see. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna.

2:22:40That's Jay, and it's Will. I love those conversations, and I think they make Sienna and Jay nervous. They do. No. They don't make you nervous? They're bored, I think. No, I just, it was, you know. Are you bored? I think Sienna could see both sides. I can see both sides. I don't have a strong. Pick a side. I can only see one side. No. Pick a side. It doesn't make me nervous. You are a dog owner. It makes me angry. I defended you and I understood where Mike and Lauren were coming from. When I see both sides, I just like to watch. Sometimes I just try to be the peacemaker. You should run for mayor. I don't dip on that. I like her assets. I'd vote for those. What do you like? I like it too. Yeah. Just like Barbara. Sandra Rossi. Sandra Rossi. You can say Barbara. I didn't mean to. I'm going to slap you with a cease and desist. Are you? Okay. I'm just going to slap you. You're going to slap me. I'm going to get a letter later. Did you say Barbara on the air? Yeah, but it's just a person's name. We were going to say Walter's right afterwards. Can we just call you Barb? It's just a person's name. Barbie. If you say Barbara on the air, I may have to hit you with a cease and desist. I'm going to get a letter later.

2:23:52Beto, Beto, I'm sorry. I mean Nacho. I'm sorry. Beto, I'm so sorry. Don't invoke my name, dude. I'm so sorry. Oh, you better be careful. If you invoke my name, bro, you better be willing to pay the consequences. Look, Bauman, I didn't mean to bring your name up on the air. I really apologize. It's not cool, bro. Bauman, don't use your name as a buzzer. Every time you bring me up like that, you know that the company's going to slam me, bro. We have to be careful of what we say from places we've worked before. Yeah. You have to be careful. Start fresh sometimes. Ah, do you? Yeah. Can't repeat things. Maybe you can't call it the 28-hour show. Right. Maybe you call it the Mikey Thong now. The Mikey Thong. I like Mikey Thong. No, it's a Mikey Thong. We all wear thongs for the whole 28 hours. If somebody would donate. If somebody would donate $10,000, I would wear a thong the entire 28 hours. Please don't. Yeah, me too. That's 10 grand. Just a thong? Just a thong? Would you do it for 10 grand? If somebody donates $10,000, Woods will wear a thong. You're all the way in on that. Yeah, I'm all the way in. Underneath his jeans?

2:25:03Only a thong. Underneath my jeans. No, just a thong. You guys don't want the boys hanging out on either side. Who's going to give $1,000 to that? Yeah, I mean. Because I'll be uncomfortable. No. I'll have a grumpy time. For an hour, he'll do it. I'll do it the whole show. You're wearing one now under those jeans. The thong. I think just a girl should have to do it. You think I would sit here in a thong? For $10,000, someone might pay that. But you guys would see my boy. We're not going to look at you. You're behind a table. Yeah. Trust me. We're all going to look. How about a leopard print banana hammock? I would do that. For $10,000? Yeah. You really would? 100%. Would you do it for $5,000? It's for a great cause. I'd do it for $10,000, I said. But if someone was going to pay that, they would want proof and want like a picture. I would run around the parking structure in front of all the adults. Be careful of what you say. For $10,000 for Rady Children's Hospital. In a leopard banana hammock? Yes. Let's do it. Let's do it. If somebody wants to get $10,000, Woods will do that. I wish I had $10,000 so I could do that. I know. I'll have to get a wax, but. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Well, I got hairy legs. Nice beaver. Even I'm emotional. He has zero emotion on his face right now. Woods is on the floor. Woods is on the floor. Oh, wow.

2:26:36Drink some water, Woods. Look at Jay's face. I know I'm in trouble. He's just doing his job at Jay's playing the clips. I'm going to throw up. Oh, we got a break. Oh, I want to do Lauren's recap. We will do it. Remember this? Ever get a guitar player that sounds like Eddie Van Halen? Steve Ice pretty money though, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, I loved it. I was blown away. Loved it. That video? Loved Yankee Rose. L.O.B., do you remember this? No. Sienna? Obviously. I think every guy over 30 probably does. 100%. David Lee Roth, he had a...

2:28:46He had a whole thing. He said, listen, what I'll do is I'll get the magic back. I'll just get the Van Halen sound back. Do you remember the song Hot for Teacher? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Here's a solo song from David Lee Roth. See if you see any similarities to Hot for Teacher. It's real good. That formula works. Stick with it. If it works, stick with it. Just lyrics aren't that catchy. Let's see. Hey. I want to thank some of the people that are helping us out with the Mikey-thon. Yeah. A lot of really cool sponsors have stepped up to the plate, and we want to say thank you to Divine Pasta Bilities. They're going to be bringing us breakfast, and they're going to give samples to the M1s that come out, which is great. Pasta and a sandwich. So good. I can't believe I have this shit. So brilliant. I didn't think of that. I know. Thank you to Wiener Schnitzel. Great.

2:30:23Thank you to Barbecues Galore and Barbecues Galore Cooking Experience. They're giving that e-grill for M1s to cook on. And they're bringing some food, too. Nice. Thank you to the Palm Restaurant. Thank you to Randy Jones Sports Grill. Thank you to Pop Chips, Honest Tea, and Sushi Poppers. All of them supporters of the Mikey-thon, which is great. We are appreciative. Lauren recap tomorrow because I don't want to waste it. Oh, wow. We don't have enough time. Big tease. Well, at least you got out of writing a recap tonight. Yeah, I guess so. We got to do it. It's just what it's all about. It's funny to me. This is an interesting thing. So I want to get to it. I can't wait now. You guys want to talk about dogs? New releases? Let's do new releases. Yeah. Let's do some new releases. Let's see. What do we got? It's a very special day for me, my friend. Ryan Adams has released a double album called Three and Four. It's Ryan Adams and the Cardinals. Three and Four. What do you think? I like it. He doesn't grab you like he grabs me. Yeah, and I don't know what that missing thing is, but something about him, and I don't know if it was the time in your life, it just hit perfectly at that time in your life or what it is, but you love that guy. I love his songwriting, man. He's prolific. I mean, he has 15 records, and they're all great to me.

2:32:19The songwriting, the guitar playing, the emotion, the things he writes about, man, it's like Legos for me, dude. It all fits. I woke up this morning, and there's nothing better than having a new record that you've been waiting for, and I downloaded it before I got in the shower and listened the first six songs when I was getting ready and was just like, like a little kid. And you really were digging it. I love it. Love it, man. You'll be hearing a lot of it on Bumper. Crystal Bowersox, Farmer's Daughter. She's from here. American Idol. American Idol. She's from San Diego. Isn't she? No. She's not? No. She's from like a small town somewhere in the middle of the U.S. I don't know why I thought that. You like her name. I don't know if it's from here. She's right. She was a runner-up. Gosh darn, that's twangy, man. Yeah, it is. Sounds like Reba had a daughter. You know, she is really good, though. She was one of those people that just nailed it every week on American Idol. Really? The judges were like. And she scored good. Exactly. She was like, you know, it's effortless to her. Yeah. Ciara. Ciara? Ciara. Ciara. Basic instinct. This beat is original. We all have such different criteria for liking something. Sounds like an old Aaliyah song. It does. It's fine with me as long as I like it.

2:33:45All it has to do is sound good in my ears. It's like tasting something to me. I don't taste a great sandwich and go... Had that sandwich back at Togo's in 1972. I'm like, oh, it tastes good. I like the ingredients. I hate how stuttering is so cool now. I had a lasagna that tasted just like this. Don't you say I liked it better the first time when it was called Dylan or whatever. That's your bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the truth is that I only say that when I didn't actually like it the first time. Okay, that's true. perfect sense. Yeah, because I didn't actually like it the first time when it was called Dylan. That makes perfect sense. The whole stuttering bit. Yeah, yeah. My eyes almost popped out.

2:34:39Thought maybe you'd join in. Diddy and Dirty Money, the last train to Paris. Oh, good. Dirty Money is working. Okay, good. Is that Dirty Money? That's Dirty Money. Maybe hang up your shoes, buddy. I'm done with it. It's kind of smooth. It's almost Saturday Night Live. You know how come I can't get it? It has to be melodic. It has to be a melody. You don't like the beat so much. You like the melody. I'm trying to remember what we were listening to. Rebecca and I were listening to it the other day and she goes, how can somebody like sing along to this? Right. And that's it for me too. Like if I hear something and there's no like melody and rhythm and it's all just like. Eminem has songs like that kind of that are like too much.

2:35:40Too fast. You know, like old school rap, like NWA, you can sing along with NWA. It's hard to get those kinds of songs stuck in your head. If you can't whistle along to it. Yeah, it's like, ah. I can't do it. Let's go to this one, and then we're going to come back to the last one today. R. Kelly, Love Letter. You know what song I really liked? What? Gotham City. Do you remember that song? Oh, it was a big player. I liked Ignition. Ignition. Oh, yeah. I remember that song. And then Chappelle parodied it. Yes, which was brilliant. We can't talk about it? No. R. Kelly's a dirty doll. Yes, he is. Disgusting. That's real smooth, though. Jay looks at R. Kelly and he's like, that guy's a creep. And then last, but least, Michael Jackson. Michael. Love this song.

2:36:48This is with Akon. Mike and Sienna are digging in. I tell you, I love it. I like this song. I'll say this will do well as a single. I don't know how the album will do. It's a great song. Yeah, it's a good single. The rest of the album is probably a turd, but that's a great song. That is. They probably make you have to buy the album. Oh, 100% on iTunes when you're like, who about one song and they make you buy the whole record? There's a song on, there's a soundtrack. You ever forget what you were going to say? Disturbia. Disturbia. Anybody see Disturbia? Rihanna? No, Disturbia. There's a soundtrack to a movie called Disturbia. Disturbia! There's the best song on there, and I won't spend $10 for the record. You have to buy the record. By who? It's by a band called This World Fair, and the song's called Don't Make Me Wait. Oh, This World Fair. And it's right when they start making out. Right, right. Easy, Miley.

2:37:53Anybody know who Miley is? No. And. Oh, this World Fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. I have their first. You talking about the bong smoker? Miley? Yes, the saliva smoker. Yeah. Let's do DVDs now. Yeah. Tonight on DVD, The Other Guys with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. Not sure how I feel about it. It's out today, too. And tonight. I meant tonight when I go home and watch it on demand, probably. The other guys? Yeah, it's a cop movie. It's supposed to be funny. I'll watch it. I'll report back. This I wanted to see. Cyrus with John C. Reilly and that chubby kid from Superbad. What's his name? Jonah Hill? Yes, Jonah Hill. Chubby kid. I like him. He's really funny. And isn't Marissa Tomei in it? Yes, and Marissa Tomei. Despicable Me. Which is a cartoon, which I would not be seeing. It's a good movie. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Mick Maxx, which I don't know what that is. Mother and Child, which I don't know what that is. Nanny McPhee Returns. That's the second Nanny McPhee. The A-Team. Really? Exit Through the Gift Shop, Mike. I know you've been looking forward to that. Oh, and really, the one that you've really been waiting for, on DVD, Joan Rivers.

2:39:05a piece of work out today. Oh, it's out? Restrepo. Didn't I see Restrepo on there? Last week. Oh. Let's see. M1. Paul from Lemon Grove. What's up? Hey, I just thought it was kind of strange the other night I went to your show and like it's Christmas time and everyone at your show was there because they support the station and people were booing you when you came on the stage. What was that all about? I don't know. You'd have to ask the guys that booed me, but... You know what I think it is, man, is that I don't think I had any business there. And the reason I don't think I had any business there is because it's like any relationship. You've got to get to know people. And you have to get to know people. And I think that most of the people in that room don't know me yet. And it's their territory, not mine. And I think that I infringed on their territory. And I think that after a while, you develop a relationship and then you give it a shot. That's my own personal opinion. I don't ever think that it's right to boo people because I think that's rude. So it's never right. But wisdom says to me, it's not time yet. You know, in the same way that when I came to this radio station.

2:40:33I can't come into this radio station and act like I own the place. I don't. In fact, I need to be lucky that I get to be a part of this radio station, not the other way around. And so I think that that's why, you know, when they said my name, there's a chorus of boos and it really hurt my feelings. But I understand it. I mean, I do understand it. It's not my territory yet. And for so long. And still, even to this day, you have a radio station, that slogan is, it's about the music, and it is. But you have a talk show on in the morning, and there's an innate, I think that there is an innate disconnect there with some people. That's fine. I think, though, that in my opinion, I have to earn that. And I don't believe that I'm at a point yet where I've earned that. When I get to that point, and I think that there will be a time where I've earned the respect and the, I guess the respect of the audience. But I don't feel that it's that time yet, and I think that there will be. You handled it with a lot of class, as you usually do. This is at the Holiday Hootenanny, in case you're wondering. Now, did that answer your question, though, Paul? Yeah, I think so.

2:41:58Well, yeah, I mean, I'm never down with booing. But at the same time, you know, it's not about why this. It's about what next. And, you know, my feeling is, you know, you earn the respect. You develop a relationship. And then, you know, you do. You do that stuff. Garrett came in because Garrett obviously has strong feelings about it. I programmed Garrett. Garrett! The real Garrett. Well, all right, so I want to say a couple of things. First of all, I'm really stoked that you were there, and I'm stoked that everybody from the Mikey show could make it. I know Santa could make it. You weren't feeling well. But, you know, I mean, an L.O.B. was not feeling great, but she was coming back, and everybody was there, and I was so proud to have as many. from the show and the entire staff there because it was a huge night. I'll say this, and I want to add one other thing on top of it. I have done emceeing at every one of our shows for eight years. And at every show, there's always a minority of people out there who tend to run mouth.

2:43:06and say whatever. I could be thanking a sponsor. I could be thanking them, and I'll have somebody, F you, get off the stage. And I don't care how many people are there. If there's 100 people there, and 95 are cheering for you, if there are five booing, they're the only ones you hear. And I'm the same way, and you try to block it out, and you can't, and you fixate upon it. That said, I disagree. I think you belong at every damn thing we do, Mike. Me too. I love you. I want you there. And here's the deal. You know, I will not let detractors of you or this radio station keep anybody from our family away from our events because there are events. We put them on, and I invite people to come and attend. You're not down? Fine. Shut your mouth. But the reality is I want each and every one of you here to be at station events, and I will not let detractors keep you away. Yeah, and I completely understand where you're coming from. You know, you and I have talked about it, Garrett. You know, I just... I, you know, I have a difference of opinion. I know. I feel, you know, and, and I've had an experience. I mean, I've done this a while too. So I know what you mean. I've been on stage before. And you're right. There is a, I mean, when we did the eighth anniversary bash, there was a very small group that was booing, but it wasn't the, you know, there was a

2:44:35chorus of boos when my name was announced at the Hootenanny. And that's okay. That's okay. I thought that that would be the case. And it's okay. It's okay. I think that there will be a time where that isn't the case. When I used to do events. at the station that I was at before, when I first started, I came in to replace Howard Stern. I remember. And so there were some boos. You know, there were some boos. Some rocks thrown, too. Yeah, I mean, there was stuff, you know. But as time went on and a relationship was developed, that became less and less. And, you know, so... You know, I understand it and I get it. And and I think that there will be a time where it's absolutely appropriate. But I also see the wisdom and not putting yourself in a situation that is just, you know. Yeah, but I think that, you know, it's a station event and you were there representing the station. And I think.

2:45:35You know, bravo to you, Mike, because you thought that that was going to happen. And yeah, huge balls to stand up to them. Let's point one other thing out, okay? For those out there who think that, you know, oh man, if it's about the music, man, how come you have a talk show on, man? Here's my answer. My answer is because this radio station was always launched with the idea of being about music. but also about everything else that goes with it, including lifestyle and being a good, entertaining, compelling radio station around the clock. And what I will tell you is, just because Mikey happens to do a talk show in the morning with you guys, it's pretty obvious if you listen to this program that you all love music. All kinds of music. And Mike was there because A, we wanted him there, but B, he wanted to check out the Black Keys. And what really pisses me off, sorry for the language, is that... A couple of jerks in the crowd booed, and it made it really hard for you to enjoy one of the best rock and roll bands in America today when they came on. And that really hacked me off. And, you know, I've been stewing on it for a couple of days. I'm letting it go, but I'll say this. Anybody out there, and I know you're listening, by the way, because I see your emails. You can write it all you want, and you can say, oh, eh, you know. But I know you're listening, and you're paying attention, and you're hanging on every word. And here's what I will tell you.

2:46:57Coming from me, the Mikey Show isn't going anywhere. They are part of FM 94.9. And we have embraced them. And they have embraced us. We are one big family. And we can be about the music. And we can be about putting on a great, compelling, entertaining morning show every day. And I say that deep, deep, deep down in my heart with a lot of conviction. And that's the way it's going to be. Nobody's going anywhere. If you don't like it. Hey, man, it's great to be a consumer because you have choice. You can make the choice to do what you want, and you can make the choice to listen to what you want. Many choose to embrace and listen to The Mikey Show every morning. The ratings prove it. We see the emails. Many choose to listen to this radio station after 10 o'clock for music. But on the other hand, there are many people who enjoy both. And I love you all. And I love you for whatever reason you listen. I don't care as long as you listen. Thanks, Garrett. Detroit! That's awesome, dude. Thank you very much. It means a lot to us. Love you, man. Thank you. Thank you for coming in, Garrett. That was a wrap. That's our PD. We love the guy. Love you, Garrett. This is a seven-year-old little boy from Cleveland, Ohio. And I'm just kidding. What? Wow. Catherine McPhee. Catherine McPhee. That's pretty. That's real pretty.

2:48:52See, it makes me sad. Christmas Eve makes me sad. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. It makes me sad. It is sad. It's not sad at all. I miss my wife. M1 Anonymous from La Jolla. Yes, good morning. Good morning. Hey, I just caught the tail end of this last conversation, and there's a famous quote by Dr. Seuss that goes, those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. And what I want you to know is that... I've got a ridiculously important job. I'm too serious and significant in my life. And every morning I get to listen to you guys. You bring lightheartedness to me. You make me enjoy my day. You're a critical part of my life. And the people who might boo you, they just do not understand you yet. Thank you so much.

2:49:48Thank you so much, man. He made me tear up. I teared up. I teared up, and I'm not even part of the show. Yes, you are, Hill. Yes, you are. Part of the family. You're from my hood, and I love you. LJ. LJ. That was really nice. Was that the same M1 Anonymous that donated money before? I bet it is. You're right. What a sweet little angel. I love him. I love you. Thank you, man. That means a lot. I love you guys, too, man. I get to live sports through woods. Yes. I get to have a baby with... Not yet. Not yet. She's young. You keep making calls like that. You may have a shot. Sorry, babe. Thank you. Keep going, you guys. I love you so much. Keep going. Thank you. We appreciate that. M1 John from Lucadia. Yeah, hey, you know, I was totally out on you guys when I first came, man. I was bummed that I wasn't going to get my music. I was bummed that, you know... I was getting some talk show, and I kind of listen to you guys every once in a while, and I was flipping through commercials on the other station. But now you guys are awesome, man. I love waking up to you guys. I love listening to you. I do it as much as I can. And, you know, it's a bunch of crap, but they're booing you off the stage, man. Yeah, well, here's the way I look at it, man. And this has always been the philosophy. I knew when we were putting this thing together with...

2:51:12with Woods and Sienna and Jay and Lauren, I knew that all of these personalities, as soon as we sat down at that table at Pample Moose in that back room like the mafia, and we sat in there and we talked, just talking. We weren't even... The first time we'd ever all met. Ever all met together. Five hours. Five hours. We just sat there and talked. And that night I knew. I said, this chemistry is just right. and I knew it was going to translate. I knew that it was going to sound like five friends on the radio, and I've said this before. God waited to the right time to put this in my life, and I am so, so, so thankful for it. M1 Fernie from Vista. Hi. What's up, guys? What's going on? Just want to let you know, man, I haven't had a good radio talk show to listen to since I used to listen to. Stern back when he was on free radio. Even when you took over, I gave you a shot, and I was like, nah, man, you know what? This show blows. No offense, Mike. No offense. None taken. And I was like, I tried every single other talk show in San Diego, and they were bad stuff and whatever. And one day I turned on my radio in the morning to hear some tunes, and there you are, 94.9. I go, oh, man, now these guys over here. The show rocked. So to listen to, I could say, oh, I listen to this show.

2:52:47or get up excited to listen to a show since I tuned in that morning. That's so great. And this show is awesome. Woods, L-O-B, Siena, all you guys. Thank you, man. I like the turnaround story. I am going to cry. I know. I was a turnaround story to talk radio. I mean, and then I started listening to Howard reluctantly. And then Howard went off and Mikey came on. I'm like, who's this clown? Yeah, now he's my boss. You know, that's the thing. I mean, when we first came on back in January, I knew that it was going to take time. All that the Mikey show is supposed to be to you is five people that you might see at any restaurant or any coffee shop that you go, I want to sit at that table. Those are good folks. I like them. They're pretty decent people. They're not mean and Essie. They're pretty cool.

2:53:52Essay. They are essays. One of them's an essay. And you know, when we do go out to lunch together, we do turn some heads a lot of times in some of our conversations. People are like, what the hell is this guy talking about? That fat guy with three chins. Screaming at the top of my lungs. Why didn't that girl scream tongue in the middle of the day? Yeah. Hillary is in the studio. I'm sorry, Hill. We went over. We went over, but we were all feeling the love. No, I feel it, too. I mean, I should add to the chorus, but I have a few friends who maybe were a little upset when the change first happened. Here's the thing, though. We tried music in the morning for seven years at FM 94.9. Had it worked? Yeah, we'd still be doing it. It wasn't successful in the mornings. The ratings were not good. It was just as much as we, you know, tried. And you guys came in and, whoa, the ratings went through. My ratings have gone up thanks to you guys because people stick around and listen. So it's huge. But I have a few friends. I used to call Hillary and tell Hillary that she was, right? I used to tell Hillary.

2:55:06I said, this is when she worked at even Star, right? I said, she is the best damn jock. She's dynamite. Dynamite. I still say it. Like, when you're not here, I'll hear stuff, and I'll be like, gosh darn, she's good. She's pretty easy on the eyes, too. I know. I'm just saying. You ever get embarrassed, Hillary, when you come in here? She does get embarrassed. She's humble. You've always been very supportive, Mikey. To finish my thought. Friends who were skeptical at first now sort of one by one are coming to me and being like, dude, I totally love the mic. They're hiding it. No, but they're like, oh my God, I love it. I have a new girl that does my hair and she always has listened to 949. And the first time I went to her, she was cutting my hair and she's like, so what does it do? And I told her and she's like. Oh, you're on the Mikey show. And then she's like, well, you know, I actually wrote emails to Garrett saying I didn't want you guys to come. And I'm like, oh, God, you're cutting my hair. Oh, God, you're cutting my hair. Please. And then she says, she's like, but I love you guys now. And I was like, my hair is safe. One at a time. One at a time. Yeah, I know. I was like, best news ever. That's awesome. Hillary, what do you got coming up?

2:56:20I grabbed Mumford & Sons. I'm going to play a song called The Cave from them. Some Devo, Kings of Leon, Metric, Green Day. You know. There you go. Good stuff. There you go. The lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. And I want to, let's do a short, I'm going to do a very short Christmas song to leave the show today. Because it is Christmas time. Yay! And I'll do one that, all right, you get to pick. Is it O Holy Night? You want that? You want to do that one? Let's do it. You don't have to do the whole thing. I'd really like to play my U2 song. It's hilarious. All right, but this is how we'll end the show. This is a beautiful rendition of O Holy Night. O Holy Night. It is the night of our dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error high Till he appealed and the soul felt It's worth a thrill of the weary world For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn