All shows / Best Of Album - 2006 - What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo?
What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo -
Track 15 - Dueling OJ's
2006
Best Of Album - 2006 - What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo?KIOZRock 105.3
O.J. Simpson civil lawsuitGoldman family judgmentdueling impersonationstrial evidence jokesCalifornia jurisdictionoj simpsonfred goldmanron goldmanwrongful deathcivil lawsuitradio comedyimpersonation
Sky introduced Fred Goldman's attempt to collect money from O.J. Simpson, and the hosts immediately mocked her for briefly confusing Fred with his son Ron Goldman. The main comedy bit was a pair of dueling O.J. impressions—one supposedly moderate and one intentionally extreme—that recycled the Bronco, glove, Kato, McDonald's, and Samsonite details from the murder case. Sky explained that Simpson was acquitted in criminal court but owed the Goldman family $20 million from the wrongful-death case, a figure the show said had grown to $30 million with interest. She then reported that Fred wanted Simpson's public-appearance income, while Simpson argued that California lacked jurisdiction because he lived in Florida.
What happened, in order
Fred or Ron?
The hosts roast Sky for initially confusing Fred Goldman with his murdered son, Ron, before launching into an O.J. Simpson impersonation.
Two O.J.s
The performers split the impression into a restrained 'sensitive O.J.' and a deliberately outrageous 'crazy O.J.' while arguing about how far the jokes should go.
Samsonite Alibi
The O.J. impression turns his old Samsonite endorsement, Kato's guesthouse stay, and the McDonald's alibi into a single escalating murder riff.
Queen of Googling
After Sky confirms that Fred is Ron Goldman's father, the hosts detour into teasing her about using Google to find DVD synopses.
Mac Murder Meal
The group invents a grotesque McDonald's 'Mac murder meal' bundled with a tiny glove, parodying the famous trial defense that the glove did not fit.
The Debt Explained
Sky finally explains that O.J. Simpson was acquitted criminally but ordered to pay the Goldman family $20 million in the wrongful-death civil case.
Florida Dismissal Argument
Sky reports that Fred Goldman sought O.J. Simpson's public-appearance income and that Simpson argued the California suit should be dismissed because he lived in Florida.
Bronco Escape Punchline
The hosts cap the routine by listing the Bronco chase, cash, gun, passport, wig, and suicide note as signs that mock Simpson's claim of innocence.
People mentioned
1,599 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
uh oj is asking for fred goldman's lawsuit to be dismissed oh my gosh i don't know what the biggest story is the fact that i'm doing that or the fact that when sky told me about this story she wasn't sure if fred was the father or the one that got killed it's pretty tough to file a lawsuit when you're dead that's right right that's right sky She's the news girl. That's right. That's what's crazy. That's journalism. We should chop her head off. That's right. Just for asking a question. Chop it, chop it, chop it, chop it. Slice it, slice it, slice it. Slice it. Chop, slice, chop, slice, chop, slice. I accidentally said Ron Goldman. Right when it's close to being coming off, I give her the Heisman stiff arm. That's right. And the head will come completely off. That's right. Falling, flying off. It'll make you even better. Because you're white. That's right. Which one is Ron and which one is Fred? Ron is the son. That's right, Scott. Ding, ding. One has a head and one don't have a head. That's right. I'm OJ. OJ Simpson. I once rushed for 2,000 yards and
Another not-so-well-known fact about me, I committed double murder and got away with it. That's right. Walking around. Most of you know me from naked gun movies, but a little-known fact, I once committed double homicide. And left traces everywhere. That's right. And still got off. Thank you, black jury. Yeah. Inside of my Bronco looked like somebody was making hamburgers in there. They let me go. Looks like my Bronco was on his period. That's right. Well, that was very far. You know what I'm saying, OJ, over there? I don't know, man. He did not. Gusher. I don't, okay. Don't know why I would have gone to that joke. Because it's true. Oh, my God. This OJ didn't make that joke. But this one did. One of us found the Lord a couple years ago. We got sensitive OJ and crazy OJ. That's right. That's right.
That's right. The sensitive OJ keep it middle of the road. Keeping it real. The other OJ keep it real. Yeah. Nuts. Middle of the road, keeping it real. Middle of the road, go too far. That's right. It's crazy. But so is murder. Yeah, some would say even doing the voice may be a little over the line. Not this guy. I guess, or this guy either. Funny's funny. Bottom line. That's right. And chopping heads off is chopping heads off. That's right. That's right. Most of you know me from my favorite, my famous Samsonite commercials, right? Where I'm running through the airport. Many of you may not know, I chop the heads off two people. And put them in a suitcase. That's right. In a suitcase? At first. Many may not know that, though. Lots of people are like, really? Juice, come on. I thought you were the Samsonite endorser. That's what Kato said. That's right. Yes, Kato. He was living in the back of my house. That's right. How could I have done it? I ate McDonald's that night. Double murderer can't die hungry. And I got some of the blood because I crushed...
A glass in my hand. When I found out, I got some blood. It got in my McNuggets. Right. All over it. It looked like ketchup, but it wasn't. It was my blood. Now, many may say, what of all those defensive wounds? That was the dog. Akita. Akita. Scratching me. Any hoot. Back to you, Sky. So tell us about Fred Goldman. She's Googling. She's Googling right now. Just put it in Google. Fred, Ron, who's who? Go ahead. Tell me about the one I didn't kill. That's right. One has a head. Right. The other, not so much. I don't know how that happened. Horrible. Horrible. A shaving accident, maybe. Sharp razor. It happened.
One of them is out running around. The other one got a knife run through their throat. That's right. That's right. Whoopsie. Go ahead, Skye. Slipped. Well. What you got? Details. Fred Goldman, the father of Ron. That's right. That's news to me. Yeah. You didn't know he had a father? No. Oh, well, yeah. I didn't know he was still alive. Okay. It's like I got work to do. Not in my travels. Oh, please. Please. Please no more. Please. And I know what you're doing. What? What? In my travels. You got any new DVDs this week? Yeah. Oh, no. No. With a synopsis? That's right. Oh. Careful. Not in my travels. Not in your travels? No. Not in mine. In my travels, it's very easy to find. How do you do it? I am sorry. Travel to the internet. You should Google it. I don't know. Try Googling. You're known as the queen of Googling. Yeah. Type in the word synopsis and new DVDs, Juice. Like 23 things come up. Probably more than that. Yeah. Oh, man. We getting a look now. Are we getting off topic? Yes, you are. Back to you. Scott. Over to you. You got anything on the Bruno Mad list? Yeah. Type in Bruno Mad list. Google that. No, I'm trying to tell you about your loss.
Here's keywords. Travels. Not in my. Heisman. And choppy. McDonald's. Yeah. McDonald's. That'd be McDonald's. Right after a double murder. You get a double quarter pounder with cheese after a double murder. That's right. That's a side dish. My spokesman, my person tried to get that going for years. McDonald's, they kept turning it down. I don't understand it. Yeah. Call it the murder meal. That's right. The Mac murder meal. The Mac murder. Yeah, I'll take a Mac murder with cheese. A free knife inside. That's right. With every purchase. That's right. Little tiny glove. Little tiny because it don't fit. Exactly. That's right. It don't fit. And they say, did you commit the murder? I say, look at this glove. It don't fit. You must have quit. Yeah, does that look like a murdering glove?
Man, my hand is like the Incredible Hulk size. Don't fit in there. I'm a colossus. That's right. So, Fred Goldman. That's how you hold on to the football, Scott, with a big hand. That's right. Or you choke your wife. Wait. Whichever. Wait, what? You got big hands. Go ahead. You hold on to the football with it. Go ahead, over the top, OJ. Or you choke your wife with it. Yes. Good for both. Okay. That's your take, man. That's right. Over the top OJ. That's right. I'm moderate OJ. I say back to just the regular murder jokes. Back to the Mac murder jokes. Yeah, Mac murder. That's the number five. With cheese. I get the one with the glove. Go ahead, Sky. What was the story? Okay, sure. So, Fred Goldman. The father of Ron Goldman. You know, OJ was found not guilty in the criminal trial, but in the wrongful death civil lawsuit, OJ was supposed to pay the Goldman family $20 million. I got no money. That's right. I'm broke. Now with interest. How much golf costs? Four times a day? Exactly. It's expensive. How much I golf? It's expensive. Four times a day, man. So now with interest. My McMurda didn't work.
I got no money coming in. Oh, no. That sounds familiar. Boy, that definitely sounds familiar. Choppy, choppy. Memories. Like the corners of my mind. Choppy, choppy, covered memories. As I slice your head. Hey, over the top, OJ. See, whatever you want. That's true. All right. That's true. You say, chop it, chop it. I just added to this. That's right, juice. So now with interest, that figure is up to $30 million. Get a lozenge.
He's coughing. He's really laughing. Fred Goldman has filed a lawsuit against O.J. Simpson wanting to take all the money he makes from public appearances. O.J. has now filed a dismissal of that lawsuit saying he doesn't live in California so he can't be sued in California. I live in Florida where murder is legal. Murder is not legal. I do it every day. Every day I'm angry at another white woman. No, it's illegal. Well, it was legal in California. Yeah. I got away with it there. I'm walking around. Okay, fine. I'll be more specific. Brentwood is legal. No. Tell me it ain't legal. Did you see all the blood in my car? Well, yeah. It was obvious. Yeah, it was legal. Trust me. I even threw the gloves so they could find it. That's right. I did everything I could. The only thing I didn't put is OJ is here on the damn house on Bundy. I shook off like a wet dog in my foyer. It was everywhere. Yeah. Hey, I didn't try to hide it, man. The only thing I didn't do was say I did it. That's right. And I kind of did when I was running down to 405 in a Bronco with a mask, $3,000 in cash, and a gun on my head. Yeah.
I mean, that's pretty much saying I did it. I had a passport and a wig. Now put it together. Yeah, hello. Those are some hard dots to connect. I wasn't running away from innocence. I was trying to escape how innocent I was. Yeah. Figure it out. What happened? That's why I wrote a suicide note apologizing for what I did. You know, double murder. allegedly.