All shows / Best Of Album - 2006 - What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo?
What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo -
Track 3 - Dr. Phil
2006
Best Of Album - 2006 - What Do You Think Of The Name Shilo?KIOZRock 105.3
Workplace communication issuesCo worker problemsHumor and jokesCultural references (shaman, Toyota Yaris, Uncle K Fed)Personal anecdotes and storiesAdvice and solutions for problemsdr philradio showco workertalking too muchshaman storytoyota yaris
On the radio show, Matt emails Mikey about his co-worker who talks non-stop, prompting Mikey to bring in Dr. Phil as the expert. Dr. Phil enters dramatically, delivers a passionate speech, and the audience is confused. He recounts a story about an Indian shaman who changed a chatty woman's behavior by naming her, then jokes about the Toyota Yaris and Uncle K-Fed, suggesting a three-wing binder to silence the co-worker. He also suggests pretending to have Tourette's, referencing his ex-wife, and jokes about a Spanish teacher, mentioning Skye. Dr. Phil recommends an air horn, citing his mother's wisdom about not wanting to be talked to and smothering him when he cried.
What happened, in order
The Email from Matt
Matt emails Mikey about his co-worker who talks non-stop, and Mikey introduces Dr. Phil as the expert.
Dr. Phil's Dramatic Entrance
Dr. Phil enters dramatically, gives a passionate speech, and the audience reacts with confusion.
The Shaman's Advice
Dr. Phil recounts a story about an Indian shaman and how naming the chatty woman changed her behavior.
The Toyota Yaris Ceremony
Dr. Phil mentions a traditional ceremony where the secret to long life was the Toyota Yaris.
Toyota Yaris and the Uncle K-Fed Joke
Dr. Phil jokes about the Toyota Yaris and Uncle K-Fed, then suggests using a three-wing binder to shut the co-worker up.
The Tourette's Suggestion
Dr. Phil suggests pretending to have Tourette's to shut the co-worker up, and mentions his ex-wife.
The Spanish Teacher Joke
Dr. Phil jokes about a Spanish teacher's phrase and mentions Skye as a talkative person.
The Air Horn Suggestion
Dr. Phil suggests using an air horn to shut the co-worker up, referencing his mother's country wisdom.
The Mother's Wisdom
Dr. Phil shares his mother's advice about not wanting to be talked to and smothering him when he cried.
People mentioned
MikeyDr. Phil McGrawEddieMattSkyeUncle K-FedSpanish teacherMikey's mother
1,337 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Got an email here that I would like to read to you. I want to get your guys' temperature on this. Alright. Email says, Hey Mikey, what's up? I was hoping you could help me out with a little problem I've been having with my co-worker. She won't shut up. She talks to me all the time and I hate it. She sits right beside me and talks non-stop and I'm at my wits in. I'm ready to shove her phone down her throat. Then, to make it worse, she thinks we're friends because I don't have the guts to tell her to shut up. Any suggestions? Signed, P1 Matt in Escondido. Terrible situation. I can answer you myself, but if my particular advice didn't work, you could easily sue me. I know how this works. But luckily, we have a professional on staff.
I want you to get excited about your life. If you're going to talk to me, you're going to have to be honest. This is going to be a changing day in your life. Thank you. Thank you very much. Who's Dr. Phil Fan here today? All right. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. I'm bald and beautiful. Thank you, young man. Look at that. Wow. Well, hey, thank you, young man. Really weird. That is a very impassioned person in the audience. Bizarre. It's strange how he starts out so shot out of a cannon and then just stops. I think he respects your advice. He's just sitting there arms crossed. There he is. There he sits. What?
Did you just say advice us up? What did he say? He said advice us up. What happened? He's my favorite audience member. I heard this email. I think I can help out. Thank God. What's this young man's name? Matt? I believe so, yes. Matt, I want to tell you something. I actually talked to an Indian shaman about this very topic back in the early 80s. That's right. An Indian shaman. That's right. I was working on my master's degree back then, and I was living with a Native American Indian tribe in Wyoming. You did Dr. Phil. I did. Dr. Phil did. Yes. Dr. Phil McGraw. That's right. And one of the tribe's women was just like this gal that he described. Chatty. She wouldn't stop talking. That's right, Eddie. Very chatty. Wouldn't stop talking. And the tribe leaders would just roll their eyes and wait for her to leave to go to bingo. Okay. Well, I'm going to tell you all right now, the key to changing her behavior was giving her the proper name. She must have the right name. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So this Matt at his office needs to name this young woman.
Like what? Well, we ended up calling this woman talks with her mouth, but that didn't bother her. So we switched her name to dies with a rag and belt tied around her mouth. And she seemed to get the picture. Now, speaking of this old shaman, he performed a very traditional ceremony that I can even perform this ceremony now, but I'm trying to remember. I'm trying to remember this particular ceremony. I'm getting into it, Eddie. I'm getting into it. Hang on. You don't need to. Give me a second. No, it's weird. He performed a very traditional ceremony that I was lucky enough to attend. I was the only white man up to that point or since to ever witness this sort of thing. And it was at that meeting that he shared with me the secret to long life. And he said to me,
share with you secret to long life-em. Oh, wait. Key-em to long life-em is Toyota Yaris. What? Available at Massey Toyota. Wait. Okay. Mission Bay Tribe in PBM. Stop. You're an idiot. Yeah, that was... He said to me, in fact, the all-new Toyota Yaris gets 40 miles to the gallon. And that is, in fact, wampum you can use on something else. Do you understand? I am trying to help Matt. Enough of this Indian junkie. Please. It's like my old Uncle K-Fed used to say. No, I've never had an Uncle K-Fed. My Uncle K-Fed would say to me, he would say, yo, Dr. Phil. Okay. Stupid. It's your uncle. Stop. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Just take a three-wing binder and crack her across the mouth and that'll shut her the hell up.
Now, if that don't work, pretend you have Tourette's. That's another way you can do it. All right? That could be funny. Well, Eddie, I did that to my ex-wife three months ago. Yeah. And she took off right away. It worked like a charm. It was wonderful. Interesting. I'm not going to lie. Now, listen, kids. This is a real serious situation Matt has here. I agree. All right? Everybody has had this happen to them at one time or another. And it can really make the workplace annoying when you got this going on. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, Eddie, Sean, B-Rob, Ashley. I'm here too. Oh, did I leave someone out? I mean, I work here on the show too. I don't know why you didn't name me in that when you were listing everybody's names. It doesn't make any sense that I would be there when you're listing all the other names of everybody else on the Mikey show. I mean, I was even on the show before Sean and Ashley and B-Robin, so I don't know why I wouldn't be included in that.
Take the hint. Take the hint. Not nice. Is this thing on? Anyway, reminds me of something my high school Spanish teacher used to tell us. Really? Yeah. He would say to us, Eddie, and now my Spanish is a little rusty, but it was something like this. Okay. We'll go. Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto. That's not even... That's not even... That's not even close. Domo. Domo. Please don't. Now, loosely translated, that means... This guy's a beating. That is true. That is true. That is right. I'm Mexican. He's right. It's Spanish. It's Spanish. That's not Spanish. That's right. He's right. It was a little English answer. It was like Spanglish. It was both put together. This isn't about me right now. Okay, Dr. Phil? Something I always tell my clients who have a talkative person in their lives, I say, hey, at least you don't work with Skye. Now, Skye.
Scott, come on now. Come on now. Please, focus. Toyota Yaris. You weren't even clever there. Did I mention it? Any advice for this guy? Yes, I do. If I were this P1, I would take the subtle approach. Next time she gets a call and starts blabbering like a friggin' hen, Very subtly walk up behind her and very subtly blast an air horn in her chatty little ass ear. Very subtle. Subtlety always works, Eddie. Here's a small piece of country wisdom that my mother used to share. That's right. The country wisdom portion of the bit. It's the best. That's right. It's what I live for. Yes. Really what I live for. Thank you.
Toyota Yaris, Mission Bay Drive. Massey Toyota. No, no. Did I mention Massey Toyota? Country wisdom. The country wisdom that was imparted to me by my mother, she would say to me, when you were growing up, I always hated when you tried talking to me. My mother would say this to me. Your mother said that to you. She actually did, yeah. This is Mikey speaking. This is Dr. Phil. She actually said that to me. This is Dr. Phil. She would say to me, when you were growing up, I always hated when you tried talking to me. And when you cried, I wanted to smother the life force out of your developing body. That's not advice. Okay. Happy F in Guam Day. Oh, no.