All shows / 28 Hour Show 2005 - Rock 105.3
28 Hour Show - 2005 - Part 31
2005
28 Hour Show 2005 - Rock 105.3KIOZRock 105.3
Lord of the Rings commentarymovie analysiscrude humorroommate problemsrelationship adviceradio show marathonhobbit loreorc observationslistener callsfantasy pop culturelord of the ringsfellowship of the ring
The broadcast features the hosts providing a running, often crude and comedic, commentary on *The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring*. They discuss the 'Lady in White' and her perceived greed, make observations about 'Orc Jordans' and 'orc gas,' and compare Frodo's emotional scene to an abusive relationship. The hosts also introduce a 'hobbit petting zoo' with 'Gremlins rules' for care. Towards the end, they take calls from listeners who watched the movie with them, and then transition into a 'Dear Eddie' advice segment where Eddie offers extreme, inappropriate solutions for a listener's problematic roommate, including replacing cereal with Ex-Lax and taking dumps in his bed.
What happened, in order
Lady in White & Ventriloquist
The hosts discuss the Lady in White from Lord of the Rings, debating her intentions, and make a joke about a ventriloquist.
Orc Jordans & Rob's Dream
The hosts ponder why orcs have shoes ('Orc Jordans') and discuss orc gas, with Rob expressing a desire to become an orc.
Defending Hobbits & Frodo Missing
The hosts comically defend hobbits against accusations of laziness, joke about Tolkien rolling in his grave, and realize Frodo is missing.
Frodo's Abusive Relationship
An intense scene with Frodo is reinterpreted as an abusive relationship, with the hosts advising Frodo to 'run, girl.'
Ashley's Interruption & Frodo's Eye
Ashley interrupts the broadcast, leading to frustration, followed by crude observations about Frodo's eye resembling a 'giant vagina.'
Willy Wonka & Mikey's 'Chocolate Factory'
The hosts announce their next movie, *Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory*, and Mikey makes a crude joke about needing to 'make a chocolate factory' (poop).
Hobbit Petting Zoo & Gremlins Rules
The hosts describe a hypothetical 'hobbit petting zoo' with rules similar to the Gremlins (don't feed after midnight, don't get wet, avoid sunlight).
Post-LOTR Listener Calls
After finishing the movie, the hosts take calls from listeners who watched with them, discussing the broadcast and their experiences.
Eddie's Advice: Roommate Slob
Eddie reads a 'Dear Eddie' letter from P1 Craig about a slob roommate who refuses to move out and is late with rent.
Eddie's Extreme Roommate Solutions
Eddie offers outrageous advice for the problematic roommate, including replacing cereal with Ex-Lax and taking dumps in his bed.
People mentioned
MikeyEddieRobBrianBobby ColonelsAshleySeanSkyeIvyP1 CraigP1 HenryGlenn DanzigSarumanGandalfTolkienKevin CostnerValerie BertinelliDante Culpepper
3,956 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Oh, no. I was so happy at first. What do you think now? It feels good comedy of the year. Oh, goodness. Watch out. My wife and I used to argue about this because I thought she was evil, you know? Who, the lady in white? Yeah, the lady in white. I thought she was kind of evil. It's not evil. I know, but she did that thing where she showed him what she could be if she had the ring. Yeah. So I thought she was evil. Nah, Gandalf said the same stuff, dude. Said he couldn't take the ring. It is what will come to pass. Yeah, I know, but then she really got all greedy about her scenario. Well, she wanted some time. Her scenario is very greedy, is what I'm saying. She wants some screen time. Leave her alone. He will try to take the ring. It's called the Oscar clip. That's right, dude. You know of whom I speak. Can you just move your mouth when you do that? It's creeping me out already. I mean, they're the only ones there. Listen, guys, she's a ventriloquist, okay? Hi, everybody. She's busting out. Watch, she'll drink water in a second.
Brian's with that shake? Get yourself into a cartoon? That's what you do with the ring? Calm down, lady. Multiple orgasm right there. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, I never knew what this meant, either. Okay, Galatria, go for it. Hey, Battlestar Galactica, whatever. Yeah, who cares? I heard ya. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way... Can I borrow your crumping iron? It's true. You're an alphabet, okay? First came into being, they were elves. Hey, you guys, you know who that looks like? Taken by the dark powers, cults and mutants. My Aunt Carmen. You're an idiot. Oh, you're an ass.
Ladies and gentlemen, Glenn Danzig. Yes, is he going to perform? Perform. Mother. Saruman. Going to a Chiefs game. Hey, take it easy. No screaming at the dinner table. Pretty nice. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You do not know pain, please. Paper for a person. And unspoiled. Case of. Pepsi won. Hey, did you know that there's a golf ball in the... Oh, never mind. For my initiative. What do you guys think of the singers in the background? Dude. Hey. Hey, guy. Tricks you. Oh, that'll come in handy, Frodo. Hold on to that. That's right, Eddie. When the spigoty comes, huh? The what? The spigoty spider. The sp...
Spigoty. Nobody knows what you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't, actually. The spigoty. Pretend, huh? Now the time to go white-rotter rafting, I mean, it's just... They've had a long trip, you know? If you're in Maine, you gotta do it. Maine. Vermont. Thank you. They're in Middle Earth, you guys. You obviously haven't been to Vermont, huh? Looks just like New Hampshire. Orc Jordans. Yeah, why are they... Orcs get shoes. Nobody else does. There's the cavity fighters. Imagine the turds on those guys. I think they go while they're running. Can you imagine orc gas? Oh, look who decided to wake up. Yeah, Bobby Colonels woke up. F you. Yeah, tell him, Eddie. Like the lead singer of Living Color. Rob, is that what you hope your hair would look like someday? One day. I want to be an orc. If I'm lucky.
An orc. Well, he's putting all the crap through his face. Yeah. If he's there, look that way. Those things from NeverEnding Story. I can't. Yep. Tell us something. I can't figure it out. I think it's Heil Hitler. Racist. Subtle. Maybe high five? I don't. Well, let's just go through. Yeah, let's just check it out. In case an athlete's foot right there. Talk up in ten acting. That's pretty real looking. But it's love. Exciting and new. Wouldn't either. Thank you. He's freaking out, dude. Always looks on the verge of tears. He's like jonesing for it, man. Sucked to have to ride with the hobbits. They don't row, nothing. Who says they don't row? They didn't just sit there. They're lazy people. Well, traditionally, Rob. I bet they rowed.
You're standing up for the hobbits now? I mean, is there no end to this? I bet they pull their share. My God. Every race, even fake ones? Yeah. Tolkien just rolled over in his grave. Nah. He just screamed out from the grave, they're called blacks, it's okay. Stupid. I'd like to put eight or nine more braids in before the night's over. I love these braids. Is that Char-Char-Pinks with her? Female intuition. All right. No heed to that, you love it. Where's Frodo? Oh, no. It's not my turn to watch him. He's only the most important guy. How many times do we have to tell you this? You might assign somebody to watch him. Well, that's the reason they're on the journey. Put the freaking leash on him again. Somebody leave the side door open. Frodo got out. Great. None of us should wander alone.
Oh, no. You least of all. So much depends on you. See? Dad, can I borrow the Volvo? Hmm. You suffer. I see it. I really love your flowery blouse. Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? What are the ways, Frodo? It's got to be hot in that thing. I know what you would say. It would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart. Oh. Warning? Against what? His heart's been broken before. And drive us to destroy what hope we have. There is no other way. Oh, no. It's like an abusive wife. You can't act out like that. Scare tactics. He'll say sorry later, Sky, but don't take him back. Yeah, you hear this crap he's saying right now? Oh, you're nothing without me. You can't make it. See? You run, girl. You don't need him. You're better off without him. See? Look at this. Oh.
Aw, sucka! Who are you talking to? Yeah. What's there? Yes, as usual. Oh, start throwing stuff around, Ashley. Okay, thanks. We're in, you know, we're doing a thing here. I don't know. We're kind of on the air, Ashley. I mean, it's this new thing we started. I know you haven't had attention in the past two hours, but... Yeah. We're doing this little thing. We started it like 22 hours ago or something. And she's out. Great. What the hell was that? I don't know. She could have at least stayed and talked. You can talk with us, silly girl. Oh, Frodo now. Yeah, I got distracted. Don't say it, Eddie. Oh, it's a giant vagina. No, it's not. Look at that thing. Actually, it is. It is. It's the eye of something. And it's on the rag. Hey, dude. Vomit. Come on. Instead of the ring, they should have made a tampon. Throw that in there.
Shove it in real good, Rob. God, you're gross. What did I do? Let's move on. We've all learned our red wings here. Ain't that the truth. Okay, this is not cool. Oh yeah, movie's on. There's a movie on? What are you guys talking about? Is this the part with the Ewoks? Some different guy. I'm going to propose again. Yeah, this is awkward. I mean, he didn't say yes the first time, dude. Please. Come on. Take the hint, bro. Really? Forget it. You're gay. How cool. Not a boner. Hey. Oh. Problem. Oh, it's on. Again, a different movie. Different movie, yeah. What?
They're different. No, watch. Ewoks come and save them. They do. Different. He's right. No, he's not right. Watch. No, I'm watching. Does that guy ever run out of arrows? That's a good question, Rob. Like this whole movie. Bro arrow. See, he just recycled one. I'm sure that guy got stabbed in the face. What kind of hiding spot is that? But he did save $150 on car insurance by switching to Geico. Well, good. Come on. Those guys are hammered. Still? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They were drinking behind that tree. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They went back there to take a piss and then... Don't do it, you drunk. Uh-oh. Fine, I'm coming with you. Oh, now we're caught. You're supposed to be the designated driver.
Can you give us a ride? Oh, the old deflection bit, huh? That was the whiskey talking. Only a stupid orc would fall for that. Oh, my. That's a good move, right in the neck. Ah, the old right in the neck move. It's a classic. The old standby. Where's the Ewoks? Folks, we are watching... The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring. When this one's over, we will begin Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah. Hey, listen, in all honesty, I got to make a chocolate factory before we start that movie. Not necessary. I'm not kidding. I've been holding it this entire movie. Hey, we don't need to know. Yeah, I am serious. You guys smell it? Shut up. I feel like it's coming out of my pores. Oh, man. Touching cloth, huh? Yep. Disgusting.
Here come the Ewoks. Sweet. I heard them. Well, no, that was the horn of Gondor. Did you just say, let's meet at the condo? No. Well, it's gay friendly. Hey, that thing's broke, dude. You need a new read. He's calling everybody for the old Vikings cruise. Come on, Dante Culpepper. Oh, goodness. Uh-oh. This isn't going to hurt a little bit. Yeah. You're going to feel just a little pinch. A little something, something. You're going to feel just a little pinch. Whoa. Did you feel that little pinch there? Some dirt on it. Let's go. Yeah. Just spit on it. Come on. Shake it off. Put some mud on it. Jumping jacks, bro. Come on. Do some jumping jacks. That'll help. Make you forget the pain. Do one more. I don't want to do it. Well, I forget what I was up to. That's right in the ginger snap. This guy's such a baby, man. Kevin Costner and Robin Hood is better than him. That's serious.
Do me a favor. That's fine. You gave me two. I'm okay with that. Just as long as you do me a favor. There you go. Don't give me three. Keep fighting. How bad are these other orcs that can't beat this guy with two arrows in them? You know, it's like, come on. Didn't they train nothing? Oh, that's got to do it right there, buddy. I asked if you could do me a favor, and, you know, the two were good. Once. You don't mind. Twice. Those guys are so drunk. And a letter opener. To the paddy wagon with you. Yeah, drunks. And we'll see you later. We'll be leaving you there on your knees. Have a good one. Have a good one. Have a good one. Jeez, I said not another one. Put the cat dragged in. That would hurt.
Yeah, that hurts, yeah. Torn ACL. He's done for the year. Great, I just picked him up in my fantasy league. Your fantasy orc league? Mm-hmm. Bad move, bro. It's just a flesh wound. Yeah. Yep, that'll do it. Until one grows back. Guy needs a little head. They took the little ones. That's what I heard. What am I, his keeper? I could not. This is going to get real awkward here in a couple minutes. Uh-oh. You guys. Do me a favor. It's just when we do this, don't open your mouth. Is Chase jerking off over there? All right, all right. Look at him. Stop. Put your pants on. I'm sure I'll believe you. A code word for the Klan. White City.
I really like those cute little leaf things. Didn't you buy one? What, dude? Seriously, didn't you go on the internet and buy one of those? All right. To keep your elven cloak together? It's real funny, guys. Didn't it? Yeah, I did. Okay. Awful. Captain, my captain. Jeez. That would never happen. Your eyes. Make out! Do it, do it. You guys are trying to go with everyone. Who's got the boner? What's up? Necro. Let's do it. SWB channel 569. Tune in Thursday night for Smallville at 8 o'clock. Official home of the Mikey Show 28-hour marathon is KIOZ San Diego's Rock. Rock 105.3. The following takes place between 1 a.m.
Can you believe how long we've been on the radio? This is stupid. I wish the ring had never come to me. What are we doing right now? In five hours, we will have been on the radio for 24 hours, which means that we've been on the radio for 19 hours at this point. Oh, man. 19 hours? Yeah. What the? He's not. He's got hay fever. Oh. I heard Claritin's good for that. Allergies that time of year in Middle Earth. Yeah, they're really bad. It's just unbearable. You've got to take shots, the whole thing. Yeah. Before you take the plane. It's ridiculous. But it's worth it to feed the hobbits and pet them and stuff. Well, they have my little hobbit petting zoo. It's pretty cool.
You put the 25 cents in the little corn thing, and you turn it, and the corn comes out, and you just don't run right up to you. You have to hold your fingers down, though, because they'll bite right into your fingers. Oh, that happened to me once. You've got to go get a bunch of shots. Some of them have rabies. Hobbits. So cute. They can't swim, though. They're drunk, Rob. Stay out of the water, you little hobbit. Somebody get the net. Oh, no. Now, what's the deal? You can't feed them after midnight. Yeah, you can't get them wet. You can't get them wet. And they've got to avoid sunlight. Those are gremlins. That's the hobbits. When you first bring them home, they've got to do it in the litter box. You've got to show them where it is, too. Don't declam if they're going to be outdoor hobbits. Right. Only if they're just indoor hobbits. They can't protect themselves if they're outdoor hobbits. You need to declam. Why isn't he trying to swim? This is weird. Hobbits can't swim. Lean power walk, though.
I was just going to say, I'll tell you what hobbits can do. They can moonwalk. That is true. Even with 19 foot long feet. How much can you cry, Frodo? I feel like I'm watching Lifetime over here. I'm kidding. Where's Valerie Bertinelli? She's the one that got her head chopped off. Usually you could have ended the story here. I mean, sure, they didn't take the thing back to Mordor, but it's all happy. I think he just looted that. I'm not real. I was okay. I like the other two hobbits better. Yeah. Let's go save them. This guy's got pea seed. That guy's still alive. Still slurring, too. His flask isn't empty.
Nice ponytail. Mm-hmm. Red. Binge hobbits, soaring words. That's a grisly beard if I've ever seen one. You know he's been through some stuff. Mm-hmm. What does that mean? What? He's been through some stuff. You know, he's a weathered individual. Weathered? Yeah. Oh, yes, kind sir. That is handsome. I love when they get excited. They're stoked. Hopping around. Oh, yeah. Parades are flying. No more chocolate for him. He's hyper. He's never going to get to bed now. Oh, no. Leave it on an up note, guys. Leave it on an up note. Cannonball! Attention. Rent the third movie. Yeah, exactly. We got two movies left. Geez. Figure it out. Dope. I'm glad you're with me. For the sex. Pull my finger. I wonder what will happen to those two. They almost died. Rent the third one. That was really beautiful. They saved Middle Earth great. There you go. I ruined it for everybody. All right, here's what we're going to do. Let's go back in the studio, take a couple of calls, kind of regather our thoughts. I got to make a Snickers. Okay.
That's disgusting. Eddie's got to make a Snickers. All right, I'm coming back into the studio. Okay, you do that. Kind, sir. Just leave that audio up of the movie. Music trail out there. Where is that room coming up from, Sissony? Right here? Right here? Yeah, people calling in right now. Hopefully you tried that with us. You'll try the second movie, too. Mikey Show, hello. What's up? Not much. Just seeing y'all having the good drinks that we drank for y'all tonight. Well, the recovering alcoholic is not. That would be me. That would be me, but yeah, nobody's actually drinking in there. I was actually at a bar tonight, and someone actually brought up the boo bar and talked about how hot the girls were, but I wasn't able to make it because of the fact that I had to work that night, which was very uncool.
I just got a conversation brought up, and I was just mentioning it on y'all's show, and definitely people are listening to you guys. All right, dude. Thank you. Awesome. I'm not sure I got the gist of the call. All right. So it's 1.09. What we'll do is we'll gather up, and in a few, we're going to do it all over again. In a few. We're going to do it with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Hopefully some people call in at 570-1053 that actually watched the first one with us, Lord of the Rings. Mikey Show. Mikey Show, hello. Hey, how you doing, Mikey? What's up? Hey, just wanted to give a shout-out to my girlfriend, Ivy. All right, great. Mikey Show. Thank you. Hey, Mikey. Yeah, go ahead. You're the man, bro. You are the man. Have you been listening, dude? Oh, man, the movie was awesome. Your commentary?
Cracked me up the whole time. Now, did you watch any of it or no? I've seen it enough to know what was going on. Awesome. Awesome. Yeah, you know, I had other things to do, but I was paying attention, man. Very cool, bro. Thanks. Mikey Show. Hello. Hey. How's it going? Good. Well, yeah, how was that movie going? Mikey Show. Hey, Mikey. Yeah. What's up? Hey, man, that was great. Thank you. You got to wake up Skye, though, man. What? I mean, not Skye. I mean, you got to wake up Ashley. You got to wake up Sean. I was here the whole time, dude. Come on. I'm sorry. My mistake. Yeah, Sean left. Sean, you left because it's too hot? Yeah, I started feeling really sick. Yeah. That room was really, really hot, though. That is very hot. A lot of bodies in there, body heat. Mikey Show. Hey, Rob. No, this is Mikey. Oh, Mikey. How you doing? Morning. Good.
Yeah, I just want to say, you know, I think the funniest part of that movie, or the best thing about it, you ever played Dynasty Warrior? Okay, the whole thing is, it's one guy who's going through, you know, a thousand people. You know, you take all these people until the time runs out. And I think it's funny that you got, like, Aragorn or whoever, and they go up against, like, a thousand people. All right, come on. Mikey Show. Ivy Roll. All right, thank you. All right, so let me give you a touch of what we do, especially if you work a third shift. If you're working a third shift and you're always, you know, you never get to hear the Mikey show, I want to give you a little example of what you could hear by listening to the Mikey show on any given day. It's a little something like this. Time to heal the city. As you know, our producer, my best friend in 19 years, he doles out tough love. He tells it like it is. He doesn't pull any punches. Yeah, some people may say it's not the softest, most cuddly way, but you know what? Well, it's not even close to that. Right, but what it is is the real deal. Well, it helps, though.
It helps hurt people's feelings. No, no. It sure does. It sure does. It sure does. You're wrong. And so, here we go. People write in for advice. Eddie gives it. Dear Eddie, man, I need your wise wisdom. I hate my roommate. He's so freaking annoying. He's a friend of a friend who needed a place to live, and I decided to help him out. Biggest mistake of my life. He's such a slob. cleans up after himself. He never leaves the place either. He's always home, which sucks when I bring chicks over. The worst part about it is I've asked him to move out and he refuses. He's always late with the rent, too. What can I do? Seriously, Eddie, help me out. Signed P1 Craig at State. Dear Boston Rob's roommate.
All right, dude, get a pen and paper out. This is an easy fix. All right, if the bitch doesn't want to leave, you can force him out. First thing you need to do is replace all his cocoa puffs with chocolate ex-lax. Oh, yeah. That's poisoning. When he asks what happened, just tell him you guys just must have got a little visit from the cereal fairy. Oh, no. Next, hang up a bunch of pictures of his mom in your room. What? I mean, I'm talking about it. Blaster the damn thing, okay? When he asks why you're doing that, just say you're a big fan. Okay. If that doesn't work, wait until he falls asleep and sneak into his room and stand over him until he wakes up, okay? Now, he'll freak out and tell you, you know, get the hell out of here and all that stuff, but just tell him you really wanted to give him his phone messages for the day. Okay? I mean, that would really creep him out. Seriously. This squatter will be running out of the door before you know it. Oh, I love it. If not, then just start taking dumps in his bed. That should do the trick. None of those are good suggestions. This is kind of hot. Our second letter reads... Oh, man. I'm at the end of my rope. I have a roommate that I thought... Another roommate? Yes, it's another roommate email. Awesome. I'm good at this.
I have a roommate that I thought was my friend. But as it turns out, he's a total dickhead. Now, I freely admit that I need to lose a few pounds. But my supposed friend tells me the other day that when he brings chicks back here, I'm messing up his game. He says that I'm messing up his game just because I am fat. He says that I am so fat that when women see me, they get turned off to such a point that they want to leave. Now, what he won't tell you is that he's a total slob. His room is such a disaster.
that he sometimes has to ask to use my room for his escapades because his room is too disgusting. I feel like kicking his ass out. What should I do? Signed P1 Henry from PB. Eddie? Fat man and slobbing.