The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/03/12
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Chargers coaching situationBuzzword gameMillion dollar bill storyWhite robe bikini challengeFrosty the Cokehead taleiPod Touch viral videoBrother Steve Christmas visitAnderson Cooper/Kathy Griffin/Lady GagaCity attractiveness ratingsPeople Magazine 2011 storiesmikey showfm 94.9
The Mikey Show welcomed 2012 with discussions on Chargers coach Norv Turner's future, a raucous buzzword game dominated by Woods, a white robe bikini challenge between Jay and Lauren where Jay stripped to reveal a bikini and bush, a twisted Christmas tale 'Frosty the Cokehead', viral iPod Touch opening audio, brother Steve's high-maintenance visit filled with endless questions, and Anderson Cooper's New Year's Eve moment with Lady Gaga's bra-and-panties performance. Listeners also heard city attractiveness ratings and People Magazine's 2011 top stories, with arguments arising over coaching decisions and self-rated attractiveness.
What happened, in order
Justin Bieber piano fiasco
Bieber storms off stage when his piano doesn't work, demanding purple kangaroo hairspray.
Buzzword game: pen
Contestants guess pen-related words, Woods dominates with answers like 'penner' and 'Penn Station'.
People Magazine 2011 stories
Discussion of Kim Kardashian divorce, Sinead O'Connor 16-day marriage, and other 2011 big stories.
Million dollar bill at Walmart
A 53-year-old man tries to buy $476 items with a forged million dollar bill, gets arrested on $17,500 bail.
Jay rates Nicole and cities
Jay plays a game rating 19-year-old Nicole and various cities' attractiveness, sparking debate.
White robe bikini challenge
Jay and Lauren answer trivia in white robes with bikinis underneath; Jay strips to reveal a bikini and bush after losing.
Frosty the Cokehead
Woods reads a twisted Christmas tale where Frosty is made of snow (code for blow) and snorted daily.
Viral iPod Touch video
Audio of Mikey opening Christmas gifts shows a kid screaming wildly upon receiving an iPod Touch.
Brother Steve's visit
Steve constantly interrupts and asks questions about socks, passwords, cologne, causing Mike frustration.
Anderson Cooper/Kathy Griffin/Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga performs in bra and panties on New Year's Eve, sign about no nudity, Anderson shocked.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsJayNicoleL.O.B.SteveJakeMadonnaLady GagaAnderson CooperKathy GriffinRussell BrandKaty PerrySnoop Dogg
26,985 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome to it, everybody. It's the Mikey Show. And our New Year's resolution was to start at 5.30. So there you go. The Mikey Show is now on from 5.30 to 9. And so we've been on for the last half hour. And we're going to get used to it. And I like it. I like the fact that from 5.30 to 6. People that didn't get to used to hear us. Yeah. Now they get to. It's cool. We all had weird breaks, vacations, but Jay had a great vacation. Weird. Of course. Of course. Lucky. Charmed life. Real good. That's right. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. 41 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 36. LOB is...
Our assistant producer, she's also a comedian. Comedian, by the way, who has played the improv in Hollywood, California. That's right. You guys call me Hollywoods. Come on. Kid doesn't play gigs out there. That's right. Yeah, but you are like a superstar. You roll out a red carpet when you go somewhere. In my own mind. A legend in his own mind. I'm much like Rex Ryan. I'm a legend in my own mind. You do tell people, hello. My name is Woods from The Mikey Show. Is that a fact? Also, Woods from TV's Wipeout. That is true. TV's Wipeout. TV's Wipeout. They've been on national television. That is true. Jay and Woods were on TV's Wipeout. That's crazy. Jay's our producer. He's 48. And Nicole screens phones. She's 19. You can call us, 570-1949. Anything you want to talk about, we'll talk to you. Feels good to be home, doesn't it? It does, man. It feels good to be back. Back on the radio. Gosh, it feels good. Yeah.
More at home on the radio than any place else. I'm just so... I love it. I do too. The word of the day is glitter. So when you hear glitter between now and nine, call her number nine. We'll get a pair of tickets to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They're going to be in town February 29th at what we like to call the Sports Arena, although they're now known as Valley View Casino Center. And tickets are on sale for it, but we will... Give you tickets. Lots going on in the news. The Chargers season is over. Correct. So you have a Ferrari that didn't make it into the race. Again, that's the second year in a row. That's right. Yeah. What's really hard to stomach is that they played really well down the stretch. They won four of their last five to finish at 8-8. The hardest part to stomach is that 9-7 gets them in. Oh, wow. That sucks.
Nine and seven. Nine and seven gets them in. They beat the Raiders. They knocked the Raiders out of the playoffs, which is always good. Phillip Rivers looked really good when they beat the Raiders 38-26. 19-26 for 310 yards, three touchdowns. Now, this is the time of year, if you're a Charger fan, that you're a little on edge. And the reason you are is because they call it Black Monday happened on... Monday, and a couple of guys were fired. Steve Spagnuolo from the Rams, gone. Raheem Morris from the Bucs, gone. They're saying now on the front page of the UT today, Kevin Acey says that, look, it looks more and more like the Spanos boys will keep, Dean Spanos will keep A.J. Smith and Norv Turner. It's not confirmed, but some of the comments have led him to believe that Norv will be back. Norv has two years remaining on his contract. A.J. has three. it's tough to can a guy and pay out his contract. Yeah. You know, and while he's sitting at home or fishing. You're telling me. So, but Phillip Rivers has come out and said, look, Phillip Rivers has come out and said, look, I want North back. Phillip Rivers says he wants him back? Yeah, he says he wants him back. He said that, you know, they lost a lot of guys this year, but, you know, tons of injuries and things like that. But he said, hey, that's my guy, and I want him back. Wow, look at that.
But they didn't make it. Yeah, they did not make the playoffs. And they have a team that's fully capable of getting into the playoffs. I mean, when you look around the league at some of the teams that are in, you're like, oh, boy. So, I don't know. All we can do is wait and see. The decision could come down today or tomorrow. I would rather have HR puffing stuff with Teddy Ruxpin as an assistant. Well. Could be that Norv Turner is the head coach again next season. It's a very good possibility. Now, will we expect different results? What's the definition of insanity, Mike? Do the same thing over and over again. Expect different results. I wonder who thought that up. It's brilliant. It's a smart thing. Yeah, it is. It's a smart thing. So we'll be updating. If anything happens from now until 9, we'll let you know. But it could be today or tomorrow where we will know definitively. If Norv is coming back and will be the head coach of the San Diego Chargers next year. You watch New Year's Rockin' Eve? Absolutely not. You don't like that? I like girls. Oh, gosh. There's girls on there. Dude, oh, please, with Woods and Matt. Yeah, what am I, 70 years old when I watch Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve? Yes, that's the audience. Yeah, seven-year-old. That's why there are a million, one million, by the way,
million people packed into Times Square for the show that they put on there, it's because it's dumb? Yes. Oh my gosh. No, it's great. Come on. I went out and went to dinner and went out. I didn't watch Dick Clark. Well, if you go out, that's one thing. Right. You're going out. Yeah, I went out. You got plans. Feasted on some delicious fish and then went out to D Street. But Woods, but Woods. Love your mouth. But if you were not out, let's say you were home, you wouldn't watch New Year's Rockin' Eve? Probably not, because last year we didn't go out, and I went to bed at 10.30. So, didn't even ring in the New Year. Let's say you were to stay up until 12. Yeah, my wife would probably make me watch it. Okay. And I probably would have watched it. I'm shot. If you're like me, you couldn't find the live stream online. Because you have no cable. Yes. So, therefore, you just look at your phone and go, oh, look at that. It's 12. It's midnight. Lauren, why do you not have cable? Please get cable. I might get it in time for the Super Bowl. Yes. Why do you not have it? Well, I do the Super Bowl party. Yeah, you got to come to Mike's for the Super Bowl party. I don't like to go to Super Bowl parties. Oh, my God. Here we go. I really don't. You never get what you want. You bring the one thing that you like, everybody eats it. Oh, my gosh. Not at Mikey's house. Mikey's house is a badass Super Bowl party. That was some serious food thrown down. I like to stay in my jammers, eat a lot of fatty food without being judged.
Just come in your pajamas. That's fine. She knows how to stick that knife right into my heart. Twist it. And just twist it slowly. What a big Super Bowl party, girl. I just go for the food. And you never get to see the games. Everyone's yapping. There's a lot of yapping that goes on. Mikey did a TV outside last year. That was great. So you could go out there and watch as well. No, no, no. Go ahead, L.O.B. Just abandon your boy. Typical L.O.B. I've abandoned my boy! Of course you have. I've abandoned my child. I wouldn't call him a year. I wouldn't necessarily phrase it like that. I've abandoned my boy. You abandoned your boy. That's right. I know. Fat boy. Three years and running. Yeah. Have you never been? No. Oh, my God. She's never been. Never been. I haven't been to a Super Bowl party in 10 years. So she says. I haven't. Why?
I don't like them. I really don't. I like to be, I like to yell things at the TV. I like to see the game. Yeah, but you don't always have something invested in the game. I'm not going to have anything invested in this game. If it's not invested, then I want to see the commercials. Yeah, I do too. Woods is a very, what you call a contrarian in a lot of aspects. Whereas a lot of people enjoy. Super Bowl commercials? Woods thinks they're stupid. Well, I think that the whole thing has become this bit. This six-hour bit. It is. And it's like, man, I love the game of football. I want to see the game. And, you know, I can get behind some of the commercials if they're really good, but that has become bigger than the game. Oh, it has not. And the halftime show with freaking Madonna or the Black Eyed Peas, it's garbage, man. Bigger than the game. Yeah, that's why. Dude, at Mikey's party, more people are watching the commercials than the football game, and that's a true statement.
All the ladies run in and huddle. Doritos. But my house doesn't equal the country. Doesn't it? No, I don't think so. It's pretty representative. You got people from all walks of life in there. Yeah. And everybody's huddling around the TV. But if a game is still being played, what do you... What do you... It's still being played. It's drawn out. It's become a bit. I feel like the halftime show is almost inconsequential because I take that time to... Talk to people. Yeah. I don't really care who's on. Talk to people? You're not at any party. Yeah, you're talking to your boyfriend, Matt Comer. No, there's usually at least four people there. Oh. So kind of a party. So at New Year's Rockin' Eve, they still have Dick Clark on. Now, Dick Clark had a stroke years ago. Yeah. Why do they? Why? I don't know. He probably likes it. I think he's got, like, ownership in it or something. Well, is it an invitation or is it his? And he says, I'm doing this. I'm not going to let this keep me down. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. I feel like it's him. Here we go. Oh, boy. This was the countdown. Sorry, we're waiting for the internet. At some point, though, the internet will... Well, just gave out. 10, 9, 8, 7... Dick!
We've done this for the last 40 years. Please take it away. Count us down to the new year. All right. And now, the Big Bum is waiting for 72. Really? That's not fair. He's better than the last one. Is he? Is he? We had this conversation a year ago. He'll be done. That was his 40th. That's gotta be it. That's gotta be. Just make it. Just 39 and 40. That's all you gotta do. It's gotta be the last one. That is rough. Poor guy. Well, you know what? Guy wants to do it. You gotta let him do it. Who was with him? Seacrest? Yeah. Him and Seacrest sit there and talk with one another. Nothing's working. My wife is listening to this right now and she's shaking her head and she's going, you know what, honey?
Sometimes you're the dog and sometimes you're the hydrant. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, maybe today I'm a hydrant. There's nothing worse. And that thing doesn't work. You guys got anything else? Padres made some big moves in the off season so far. Talk about that, maybe. That's it? That's it? Yeah. I don't know. Anything else you want to talk about? Oh, there it is. Don't call this idea. Oh, my God. Come on. I hope you do. You have a healthy new year. Yes. Poor guy. Oh, man. The poor guy. And poor everybody else has to listen to it and watch it. Oh, no. He can just stand there and wave. I don't think that. I do. It's uncomfortable. Oh, it's uncomfortable. Yes. That makes sense. Not like, oh, he's torturing us. You need a better guy. It's sad. It's sad. It's real life. Yeah, it is.
But he could just stand there and, like, hey, just wave. You don't like it either, LLB. You want him to stop, don't you? I do now that it's been 40. I think it's enough. It's like when you see Muhammad Ali do interviews, you're like, oh, man, come on, dude. Justin Bieber got kind of bitchy. Weird. Yeah, he's, like, he went to start playing the song. He was going to sing Let It Be with Santana, with Carlos Santana. And he got, like, all mad about it. Why? I guess he couldn't hear his piano. And so he was like, is this on? Is this on? Turn my piano up, man. I can't even hear it. Yo, man. Give me my keyboard. I can't hear this. What's up? Here it is. Here's his performance. The record crowds, they are ready for this performance of a lifetime. It's something you've never seen before. Justin Bieber. And Justin Bieber, he said. It's not working.
The whole thing's ruined now. It would have been genius if he was like, my mother effing piano is not working. Just freaked out like a little diva. I ain't doing this. I ain't doing this ass no more. He flips it over. Nice beaver. Not a very nice beaver. Not at all. It's a bad beaver. It's a bad beaver. He's a brat. Yeah. Yo, man, I can't hear. There's nothing in my monitors. Yo, man, my hair's all messed up, too. It's all windy out here. It's freezing, man. We should do this at Palm Springs. Where the hell my purple kangaroo hairspray? The hairspray that's purple, the bottle's purple, and it's got a kangaroo on it. Bring that one. The Aussie. It's called Aussie. What? The Aussie. Yeah, man.
Kangaroo. Where the hell is it? Where's my Aussie? That's right. I strapped it to your jacket. Open up your jacket. It's in your holster. Put it in there for you. Oh, there it is. Yeah, you got it. There it is. I didn't even know. Hey, maybe give me the heads up. I did. Remember when I put it on you and I said, don't forget, Mr. Bieber, your holster. And there's a comb in there. Yeah, but you didn't tell me about the... Purple kangaroo. Your pick is in there, too. Maybe I failed to mention. I carry a pick, but I don't need one. Right. Because my hair is straight. That's right. Yet you insist on an Afro pick. I insist on the Afro pick. Every once in a while, when I'm trying to look hard, I take it out. You also have that switchblade comb that you made me get you. So that's a big player. That's right. Do that one, too. M1 Ryan is on the line from Carlsbad. Hi, Ryan. Hey, who is it? Who's these strangers on the radio? I know it. I know it. We've been gone for so long. Well, we're back. Oh, okay. Hey, just an important question about Jake, and we all want to know. I want to get it off our chest and let everybody hear before your show gets too popular, you know, gets moving in the morning. What's up with the sign? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My son, Jake.
was given a street sign for Christmas because my son's autistic and one of the things that he loves are these new LED right turn signals. No right turn. No right turn signals. My wife contacted the company that makes them and they custom made one for Jake. Awesome. And he absolutely loved it. He just absolutely loved it. Flipped out over it. And it's his favorite thing. He just turns that thing off and on and off and on. He loves it. And he does the whole routine like there's a train coming and he wants to do the whole bit. It's very sweet. Very, very sweet. All right. That's all I need to get to the point, move on, and you guys have a wonderful day. Thank you, buddy. We love you. He's coaching himself. Yep. Word of the day is glitter. So when you hear me say that between now and 9, caller number 9, Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets. New hours for the Mikey Show, 5.30 to 9. Lady Gaga performed at the New Year's Rockin' Eve. And there was also, I'll do this for you a little bit later on, but there was also this moment with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. If you haven't heard about it, it's pretty, it's kind of outrageous.
We'll tell you what happened. Let's see if this is going to work for me. If it does, it'll be Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest doing banter together. I do not know why it's not playing. Maybe don't go to it, Mike. Well, I'll tell you, though, Mike, it's kind of a good idea. Yeah, I know, but Woods just asked you what the definition of insanity is. Why would you continue to go back to it if you know that it isn't working? Well, Mike. Because I have wishful thinking. You're like a battered women's syndrome. You just keep going back, you know? Sometimes. Well, sometimes. Sometimes battered women's syndrome just isn't funny. When you're making metaphors like that. Shut the mother down. You want me to shut the mother down and start it back up? Yeah. Do the old on-off. I'll do the on-off. Here I come. Let's see. Oh, Russell Brand and Katy Perry got divorced. You're clapping? Yeah, that means she's on the market again.
It's a better world knowing that she's single. Yeah, I know, but it's still, one can think. Couldn't you commiserate them, though? What do you mean? I'm married, she's married, we're all in misery. Well, no, I don't think that way, L.O.B. Marriage isn't misery. Oh, that's what I heard from you guys. Each day for me is better than the day before, L.O.B. You've never heard us say that marriage is misery. No, you wake up next to a little angel every day. That's right. I did tweet her, by the way, Katie Perry. I did. Of course you did. I tweeted her. Did you hear back from her? Nope. Not yet? What did you tweet her? Hugs. You know what I tweeted her. Hugs. Hugs. I feel bad for her. Oh, my God. That was the audio an hour later. 15 minutes go by. Maybe it was just taking Dick Clark that long to gather his thoughts. Oh, wow. Holy smokes. When we come back, Snoop Dogg on The Price is Right. Oh, wow.
The Mikey Show. That'll work. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. This is The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Be a part of The Mikey Show now. Text them at 949Mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners with New Year's upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota has you covered.
Well, the freeways look really good this morning. Not much of an issue at all. The 54 southbound of the 8 connector, it's about 29 miles an hour. Gets speed right here at Chase Avenue all the way up to about Fury Lane in the upper 40s now. A little bit of slowing here as you travel on the 75 westbound, the exit from the Coronado Bridge in the 30s. This report also brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It's so fast, accurate, and easy. It takes the hassle out of taking a temperature. Every new parent should have one. Get yours at Baby's RS and other fine retailers. I get it. You took a job right out of high school because the money looked great at the time. Hey, you were making a lot more than your friends who decided to go to college right away. But a few years into it, you realized there was a ceiling to what you could make. And now that money doesn't seem like as much as it did. You still have time to raise that ceiling and break out of those walls. Reinvent yourself and make the sky the limits, not the ceiling. In as little as 20 months, you can get specialized in property management or a number of other emphasis areas. Or how about specializing in forensic accounting? How cool is that? You can make it happen with California College San Diego. Call 1-800-390-6489. California College San Diego is accredited by ACCSE and has been educating students for over 35 years. Flexible on-site and online courses are available.
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Spanking clean. Is that a phrase, spanking clean? Spanking clean. It's spanking clean. I meant brand spanking new, and I said spanking clean. But yeah, yeah. Juice Fitness is for everybody. It's for the young, for the old, if you're in shape, if you're out of shape. One thing I like that they have there, there's a bunch of rules on the wall that say no grunting, no slamming weights, no talking on your cell phone. So basically it keeps the bad out, keeps the good in. They've got group classes there. They've got personal training. scanning hydra massages, and for the $19.99 and $24 memberships, you get guest privileges, meaning you can bring somebody with you to work out. Six locations in San Diego County, Carlsbad, Escondido, Santee, Mission Valley, Rancho Bernardo, and now in National City. Choose Fitness. C-H-U-Z-E. Choose Fitness. Hey, it's Jay with the Mikey Show, and I've got all the details on the upcoming 94.9 Big Bear snowboard trip. It's January 20th through the 22nd. Packages include lift tickets for you and a guest for two days. Hotel rooms at the Sheraton Forest Hotel for two nights. There are two different packages available. Go online at fm949sd.com if you want to see all the details and purchase. Do it today.
It's Pepper Jack and I'm back and I'm better than Cheddar. Bringing heat to the meat like us wearing 10 sweaters. I can make a mouth water in the hottest of deserts. Spicy kick to your lips, you're gonna love it forever. The new under 500 calorie Santa Fe turkey burger from Carl's Jr. With green chili, pepper jack cheese and Santa Fe sauce. It's turkey remixed with the perfect amount of heat. And that's just the way it is. We thought a giant gorilla was the perfect mascot for the big deals at Office Max. But the gorilla marketing sent us is the size of a hamster and is too scared to come down from our ink display. Well, he is about the size of the $10 OfficeMax gift card you get just for buying $50 or more of any national brand ink. A free gift card is a big deal. Our gorilla... Find all the big deals now at OfficeMax. Offer in Saturday. Excludes HP and Epson, Inc. Get to a better state, State Farm. Tickets, please. With Mikey.
I'm a pretty honest guy and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had like 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Yeah, that's right. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Before the hour is done, you will hear a 15-year-old Korean girl singing. Rolling in the Deep by Adele. There is not a hint, unlike the other song that we used to have of Whitney, the guy singing Whitney Houston, there's not a hint of any Asian accent. Wow. It's incredible. Hey, if you'd like to play buzzword, give us a call. 570-1949. All you got to do is pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. 570-1949. What's the prize, Jay?
It is a year-long subscription to Blockbuster Movies. Unlimited in-store exchanges of DVDs, games, and Blu-ray movies for 12 months and streaming to come early in 2012. There you go. We're here. We're in 2012. We are here. No. It's going to come early. Snoop Dogg announcing a prize package when he was on The Price is Right. Did you guys know that Snoop was going to be on The Prices, right? I didn't either. Not surprised. But anyway, here you go. Snoop Dogg. Alexis and Armando, if there's one thing I love to do most is perform it for my fans. And you're going to be right there with me when you come see my show in New Orleans. Now, as a bonus, I've got a priceless experience that will put you at the top of the charts. We also going to throw in a bag of weed. All access VIP backstage pass. Well, you will hang out in my dressing room and watch the show. On stage! You're headed to three-day passes to the Food Music Festival. As a bonus, you'll watch his entire show from on stage, plus on stage and in Snoop Dogg's dressing room. So now that we got you hooked up at the show, we're going to take you on the ride. How wild is that?
You would avoid that prize like the plague. Oh, my gosh. If you were on there, Mike, you would go, I'll bid $400,000 just so you wouldn't win. If it were the first one, would you pass? Of course, yes. And get the dinette set? Stupid. I always say that. The dinette set. And you'd be like, there's got to be one more thing, right? Yeah, something's better than this. Please. Please let there be something else. 570-1949 is our phone number. We're going to play buzzword. This is M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Are you there, Lisa? Yes. Who would you like to represent you? You got it. Hang on the line. M1 Julian from Fallbrook. Who do you want? It's a good choice. It's a good choice. Hang on. And finally, M1 Trophy Lounge from Chula Vista. You're... I don't want to say you're stuck with me. She's happy to be stuck with you. Yeah. How about that? You've got me, Trumpy Lounge. Awesome. Okay, hang on the line. How do we play buzzword? We have Jay give us a word, then he's going to give us clues, and the word will be in the clue. So, if we know what the word is, or the, yeah, if we know what it is, we've got to yell it out. Scream it. Scream it out. Scream. Just realize I don't have a buzzer any longer. And you know what we should do? We've got to have Nicole come in and be the judge.
That's right. Nicole's got to be the judge because, well, Woods will always claim that he's been cheated. Yeah, I won $100 when one time I got cheated. That is true. But she's going to be an impartial judge telling us who yelled our name first. What's the word, Jay? The word is pen. Pen. P-E-N. Okay. Pen. Pen. Pen. Pen. Okay, here we go. Letter-writing buddy. Pen-mail! Thank you. I guess that means... What does that mean? That's correct. You hit it right on the board. It was clear. You got it. Here we go. Since Mikey just went, pen-pen! Nom de plume. Pen-name! Is that really your... I don't have it anymore. I just discovered. Oh, it's distracting. Drawing medium. Pen. Writing pen. Drawing pen. Artist pen. Black pen. A pen. Black pen. Ink pen. Well, Wood said pen first. It's pen and ink. No, that's not the saying. That's not the saying. Pen is the word. It's not it. I won't even give myself a pen. Pen is the word. Okay, here we go. He was once married to Madonna. John Penn. Oh, dang it. Woods.
I have one in my head that I can't get. Oh. Here we go. Words are stronger than... Pen is mine! You're the sword! That's what happened! Oh my gosh, I'll be... Darn it! You got it right. All right, here we go. It's dominating. You're dominating. Pick up a writing implement. Grab a pen! Pick up a pen. Pick up your writing implement. Pen raised! Raise your pen! Raise a pen to that! Hold your pen. That old Hackney phrase. Take pen in hand. Take pen in hand. That old saying. That old saying. That is the old saying. That everybody knows. Take pen in hand. Yeah. Yeah. Quaker colonist who founded Pennsylvania. Penner. William Pen. There you go. Penner. Penner. Pen. William Pen. That is. There we go. New York.
Penn Station. Penn Station. Darn it. What? Is it Penn Station? It's Penn Station. Oh, my gosh. Here they go. Second too late. They have a tendency to leak. Penguins. Found pens. Yes. Penguins. Penguins. Penguins. Don't you hide, L.O.B. There is no place to hide. Penguins. Penguins. They have a tendency to leak. Oh. My God. I didn't think outside the box. Penguin's due, that's for sure. I hate this word. It's the worst word we've ever had. Eastern University. Penn State. Penn State, is it? University of Penn. Penn. University of Penn. It was good. It was good. I don't have any. Wait, what does it say on the card? It says Penn State. Wow. I hate this word so much. Okay, new word, new word. Oh, thank you. Here we go. The new word is bell. Bell. B-E.
L-L. Bell. Bell. Inventor of the telephone. Alexander Graham Bell. Yes. He's on. He's Bell. He's Bell. The old lady of the phone company. Ma Bell. What? What's old lady of the phone company? The old lady. The old lady. What is it? Ma Bell. Ma Bell. Ma Bell. Ma Bell's got the ill communication. That's right. Let's see. Trigger. The bell or the bell. Oh, my God. Trigger of memory. Ring a bell. Ring a bell. LLB got it first. I think Mikey got it. I think Mike got it. Oh, did he? Yeah. So quiet. Thank you, guys. That was very nice. It's the year 2012, the year of honesty. Very nice. What's the score? The score is Mike won Lauren when Woods nine. Woods nine? So here we go. Ten-pointer. Oh, my God. I don't think so. Here we go. What's the word? Bell. Bell. Okay.
When something is loaded with features, it has... A thousand whistles! Woods, Woods, Woods. A thousand freaking whistles! 19 points for Woods. Suck it! Oh, yeah, girl. And I don't have my... I don't have it. Well, you're the big winner, my friend. The big wiener in the house. Gosh darn, man. Why is Woods so good at that game? That was domination. That was world domination. World domination. M1. Lisa from Lakeside Woods didn't just bring it home for you. He smashed it out of the park. He smashed it out of the park. Hang on the line, please. Were you practicing over break? Yes, I was practicing. Buzzword. I came in here my day off. I read through all the cards. You make your family play over Christmas? Yes. So check this out. This story comes out of, I think it was either in Louisiana or Missouri. But there was a park in this area that had a bunch of kids smoking some weed. Now they want to get rid of them. They want to get rid of the kids smoking weed. Woods, if you were mayor of said town, what would you do to get, like, now I'm talking about teens that kind of come in and then move to another town. Like, what do they call, you know, they're homeless. Transient. Transient. Yes.
Really? So their teenagers will come in, they'll smoke their weed, probably sell some of their weed in the park, and then they split. So I'm mayor. You're mayor. You've got to stop it. What do you do? I send the cops down there to roust them. Okay. Now, that will work sometimes, but they can't be there all the time. True. So what this town did was they stuck a bunch of pig poo in the park on the grass to fertilize it. And the problem stopped immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Because they didn't want to smell the poo while they smoked their weed. What about people who just want to go to the park? Fertilizer. Then they're screwed. Fertilizer. And these were transients, so they don't go there. They stopped going to that park because word got out, oh, that's the stinky park. That's the poo park. That's the poo park. I'm not going to poo park. I don't want to go to poo park. When it starts smelling better, you don't think they'll just go back? I don't know. I don't know. But.
It's funny. The cops wouldn't scare them, but the poo would. Right. Yeah, they didn't like the smell. I can't blame them. You know, you're inhaling, and you feel like you're inhaling the pig poo. Poo. 100. There's poo everywhere. 100%. Really good for the kids. AJ, did you print me the People Magazine thing? Yes, no. Yes, no. Hold on. I can, though. People Magazine came up with their 10 biggest news stories of 2011. What were the biggest things that happened in 2011? By the way, Woods announced it earlier. Tony Spagnuolo, the coach of the Rams, is gone. Steve. Steve Spagnuolo. And Raheem Morris. Morris, yeah, from the Buccaneers. And then the Colts made a huge move. They fired both of the Pollians. Really? Yeah, the GM and the president. They fired Bill Pollian? Bill Pollian and his son are out in Indianapolis. Peyton Manning was like, excuse me? They had a terrible year. I mean, an absolutely, absolutely terrible year. They also didn't have Peyton Manning. Yeah. The owner, Jim Irsay, fired chairman Bill Pullian and his son and GM Chris Pullian on Monday. They are widely considered to be, well, Bill Pullian is widely considered to be one of the greatest football minds there is. Yeah. It's crazy. He's the one that drafted Peyton Manning in 98. That's insane. It's pretty crazy, man. Black Monday was huge this year.
And Norv is still the head coach of the San Diego Chargers. And A.J. Smith is still the GM. Yes. Now, could be that Dean, he really likes him. He really believes in him. See, if you're Dean, though, my question for Dean is, okay, but at what point do you give up on it? Right. Well, and also, Mike, there's two things that are really interesting to me. They want a new stadium here in San Diego badly. And in order to get a new stadium with public support, you've got to have the right guy as the face of the franchise being the coach, right? I don't see people being all for voting for a new stadium if Norv Turner is still the coach. I just don't. The outcries have been just tremendous. I agree. But the other problem is that guy's still got two years left on his deal. They don't want to pay him. I mean, the guy has been notoriously...
Pretty frugal, I think, with some aspects of the team. And that's one of them. And he's going to pay this guy for two more years if he's not going to be here. So he's in a tough situation. He's sitting in his office right now, probably listening to us, you know, and trying to figure out what to do. I'll tell you right now. Just ask him, the guy, and move on right now. Well, and there's a lot of head coaches out there for the taking right now. Yeah. Make an offer and knock some of these socks off, you know. I'll tell you who it stinks to be is Norv. Yeah, it sucks, man. I mean, because you're like, ah, just get it over with already. You're waiting and waiting. It's no fun. If you're going to do it, do it. By the way, if you're having a hard time getting to the airport this morning because of fog, call ahead to the airport because the fog is actually keeping a lot of people delayed at Lindbergh. It's real bad.
So here are some of the big stories from 2011. Kim Kardashian getting married and then divorced was a big deal. The Sinead O'Connor thing. Have you heard about this? This was gnarly. Sinead O'Connor was married for 16 days? 16 days, yep. Seven hours and 16 days. Yes, it's been seven hours. Literally. It's literally been 16 days. Woods, where did you hear the weed story? I read it. Is it real? Yeah, it's real. I read it on like Perez Hilton. I don't know why I was reading Perez Hilton. But people, it was everywhere. And basically what had happened was, it was their wedding night and they got married in Vegas. I believe this is her fifth marriage. She's got a lot of kids with a lot of babies, daddy. I think she's been married five times. Don't quote me, but I'm almost positive that's what I read.
So it's their wedding night. They're in Vegas. And she doesn't drink alcohol. So she wanted to celebrate on her wedding night and get some fresh marijuana. And her hubby was like, babe, you know, you don't need to get fresh marijuana tonight. It's our wedding night. Make love. Right. And they went on some freaking wild goose chase looking for weed. And the guy, so they got in like a huge, huge argument the first night. A couple of things are a story about this. One, that it lasted 16 days. Two, that's the reason that it broke up. And three, I think the biggest news story there is that it took a lot for them to find weed in Las Vegas. That's exactly what I was going to say. I mean, if you can't find weed in Las Vegas, you're just not looking. Don't you just have to walk outside of the casino? Right. Any casino. Does anybody have any fresh marijuana? Here you go. I mean, but what a weird... Very strange. Listen, fellas, if anybody's listening that's engaged, you're going to be married, try to know which drugs your wife does before you get married. Well, yeah, and find out what she wants to do on your wedding night.
Be prepared. Chances are she's been married five times. She's probably not taking a lot of time in the courtship. That's true. And actually, this just popped into my brain. She wrote all of this stuff on her website. So I'm going to check that out at the break. Do you have hair yet? No, no hair. Still hairless. I don't know. The picture I saw, she has a black wig and she's wearing completely black and a black cross with her midriff. showing through, like, what's that stuff called? Fat. It's called fat. It is mesh. A mesh center. She's 44 years of age. She's chunk now. Really? She's chunk. Yeah. She always had a very pretty face. Yeah, she did. Not anymore. It's buried. Yeah. It's buried in fat. Timberlake and Jessica Biel, they split up. Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony split up. Sarah Palin's son, track. Got married. Okay. That's a big story. Nev did not even know that. I didn't know that she had a son named Track. Nor did I. 22 years of age. I think it's actually Tractor. They just call him Track. Yeah. He's 22 years old. He's named after his grandfather. Married a girl named Britta, which is also a wonderful water filter. Wonderful. Track and Britta would like to welcome you to their wedding. Yes. We would be pleased if you would join us.
on the evening of August 21st for Track and Britta. Oh, so you guys mean, like, running around with purified water? Yeah. Slinging purified water everywhere. Britta. This is a true story, and I preface it before I say it because I know that some people will question the validity. It's a real story. In fact, I questioned Woods, and it's a real story, what I'm about to tell you. Amen, brother. In North Carolina, walked into a Walmart and tried to buy a microwave oven and a vacuum cleaner and some other items using a million dollar bill. What? They don't make million dollar bills, though. Yes, they do not make million dollar bills. Where did he even get it? Well, I'm guessing he made it. His laptop, I think, is where he got it. Wow. Rayons.
Whose face would he put on there? Oh, that's a great question. George Jefferson? If you're going to do it, just do it. And he wasn't doing a bit. He was like, for real. He's 53 years old. And he walked in and he tried to buy these items worth $476. He tried to walk in with a forged million dollar bill. What? Maybe he's not of his right mind. Possibly. Yes. He's in jail on $17,500 bail and not clear whether or not he has an attorney. They should have put him on a million dollars bail and see if anyone could come up with another million dollar bill. What's the cashier do? Yeah. So I owe you $999,574. Hey, baby, I told you, if you're going to bring it, bring it. I told you, bring the million-dollar bill. I did. I made it, and then I stuck it in between these two girls right here. Look at them. You want it out? You got to fish it out like you put it in. Oh, wow. That's right.
Deeper in there. Your beard tickles. You got a little piece of barbecue in the beard. That is delicious barbecue. Hey, baby. Yeah, baby. I think I'm stuck. In my boobs. I see I'm stuck in your boobies. Okay, ready? Yeah. I'm going to do one, two, three, suction you out. All right. One, two, three. It didn't work, baby. I'm still stuck in your boobies. Well, let's just walk around like this. It's going to be the first time I walked around a woman over there. Oh, I came out of your boobies, baby. Look at that. There he is. Look at his face. Million Dollars. A million dollar bill. Fast forward the tape on that. Yeah. 1,021, 1,022. Come on. Hurry up. Hurry up. You got to hurry. There's people in line. Yeah. Why wouldn't you do like a thousand dollar bill? A thousand. Yeah. You want more money. That's why. You got to think big. Yeah. Boy. He only bought enough paper. What's the highest that they go? A hundred? Well, a hundred is the highest, right? No. The highest, back in 1969, they stopped making them.
But there used to be a such thing as a $10,000 bill. Wow. $10,000. I think $100,000 is as high as it goes now. No $500, no $1,000. By the way, I mentioned it earlier. 15-year-old Korean girl singing Adele's Rolling in the Deep. I'm playing it next. 100. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. If saving money is one of your New Year's resolutions, switch to the Allstate value plan. It's their most affordable car insurance and you still get an agent. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Well, we do have one incident here this morning. First accident in the morning, 15 southbound right past the 5 northbound. You've got an injury, no injury accident, but you'll probably find a little delay there. Small delay on the 805 northbound 43rd Street. That's about... 54 to 44 miles an hour, 47 streets at 54 miles an hour, 43rds dragging at 44. Not bad, though. And looks like the 8 westbound, you've got delays at Lake Jennings Park Road. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, with the new year upon us, now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement and financial aid is available to those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. Here's a gift that you might like.
The gift of driving from Bob Baker Mazda in Carlsbad. It used to be that really good gas mileage and performance did not come in the same package. They do now at Bob Baker Mazda. And if you act right now, your new Mazda won't have any payments due for 90 days. Select models on approved credit. See dealer for details. It's BobBakerMazda.com in relaxing car country Carlsbad. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Okay, what do you say we break for lunch? That sounds good. What do you want? I'll go pick it up. Uh, I don't care. I got like three bucks. Hey, how about a W? The new double cheeseburger from Wendy's. Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever. What?
If that's your attitude, you're not getting a W. Wait, what's your problem? No problem. But if you're happy just throwing anything down your throat, the W is too good for you. If you say so. Look, can you appreciate that Wendy's makes your W so it's hot and juicy? Well, I... Oh, so you don't like signature sauce, awesome toppings, and a butter-toasted bun. Oh, yeah, maybe. See there? Maybe. Maybe? I don't even know you anymore. The new W double cheeseburger from Wendy's. Double beef, double cheese, and what's doubly amazing? Right now it's just $2.99. Try one today at participating Wendy's. Buy a Wendy's W combo, register online, and double your chances to win Southwest Airlines tickets for two and much more. Two's the reason to be jolly. No purchase necessary. Ends January 6, 2012. Open to U.S. citizens 18 and over. Void for prohibited. Visit twosthereason.com for full rules and free method of entry. So I'm holiday shopping at Verizon and tell the sales girl. They've made their list. I've checked it twice. I need three smartphones. And she says, try the 4G LTE Samsung Stratosphere. It's only $99.99 after $50 mail-in rebate debit card. So I say, 4G? Huh. But in my head, I'm thinking. Then I say, my kids go through lots of data. And she goes, right now, you can double their data for the same price when you get them a 4G LTE smartphone. And now, I'm all.
Give the technology they love on the network they deserve. And for a limited time, double your data without paying a penny more when you buy a new 4G LTE smartphone. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash holiday, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Double your data applies to new activations or upgrades, and data packs two gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. The season of sharing is here, and we're giving back by inviting you to Kearney Mesa Subaru's Share the Love event. We'll give you discounts on your favorite Subarus, which means you're sure to love the prices. Lease a new 2012 Subaru Forester 2.5X automatic for $149 per month plus tags. Get alloy wheels, roof rails, Bluetooth kit, and auto-din mirror with Homelink, all for just $149 per month. Combine that with high MPGs and low APRs, and you can save big. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection. Plus, we're San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. And we're centrally located on Convoy Street in Kearney Mesa. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru Share the Love event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego. Or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. A Sunrow dealership. 2012 Forester list model CFBs for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile. They're answering 6,000 to 50 due at least signing. No security deposit on approved above average credit. One at this payment bid 40, 32, 78. Number one plan based on 2010 Subaru San Diego.
Sales Report offers expire month end. It's daily deal time with a different amazing deal every day till Christmas. Today's daily deal, chips and cookies. Today only with Vons Club. Tostitos tortilla chips are just $1.99 each, selected sizes and varieties limit too. And Nabisco Oreos or Nutter Butters are only $1.99 each, selected sizes and varieties limit too. Vons will help make the season sparkle with amazing Vons Club specials. Don't miss our huge wine sale. All wines priced $20 or more are 30% off. Even gift cards are on sale. Big on multipacks, like 15% off a $40 iTunes gift card multipack. Great for stocking stuffers. And this weekend only when you spend $75 or more with Vons Club, you'll get a $10 reward coupon good on your next shopping trip. With Vons, you can make the holidays as merry as can be. Vons, ingredients for life. Wine sale excludes champagnes and sparkling wines. See gift cards for details, terms, conditions, and fees. $10 reward coupon expires December 26th. Restrictions and exclusions apply. See store for details. Vons Club required.
The chill is in the air. It is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. And Sportulet is all geared up for the holidays. No matter if you're buying for that hardcore athlete or need a bike for the kids, we're busting out all over with great gifts for everyone on your list. Stop by the store and pick up our new Sportulet holiday gear guides. You'll find ideas galore. Or check it out online at sportulet.com. Kim's getting a divorce. The economy's in a sh**ter. Is there anything to look forward to in 2012? Yes, friends, there is. The Chili Peppers are back. February 29th, Valley View Casino Center. Just elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Red Hot Chili Peppers with special guest Janelle Monae. Tickets are on sale this Saturday at 10 a.m. at the box office. All Ticketmaster locations at Ticketmaster.com or charge by phone. Good day, drivers.
As we speak, a world-renowned group of performance specialists are preparing to launch an event of epic proportions. Your mission, if you should choose to accept it, is to take full advantage of the situation. Codename the BMW Mission to Drive sales event. Once there, test drive any new BMW from the legendary lineup, including the all-new 6 Series, featured in the new movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in theaters this December. For a short period of time, you'll have access to an up to $2,500 credit toward a new 2012 BMW. Gather all intel about the cutting-edge, fuel-efficient vehicles that BMW engineers. Then drop into the BMW Mission to Drive sales event at your local BMW center today. Use of a zipline is optional. But move on this immediately, as the $2,500 credit will soon self-destruct. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to attend the BMW Mission to Drive sales event this weekend. See your San Diego County BMW center for details. This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a free lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance. Plus, you get a quote and your first tow is free. That's right, free. Shop less, get more, make one call.
to an Allstate agent. A little bit of slowing here this morning as you travel on the 163 northbound Robinson Street, Quinn Street. It's about 16 miles an hour. Also, some backup on the 8 westbound from the 15 south to Fairmont Avenue. Swinging you way up here onto the 67 southbound Maple View Street all the way down to Riverford Road. It's about 14 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices. service while you wait, Wi-Fi, shuttle service, a whole lot more. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. It's 7.30 this morning on the corner of Friars and Frizee. Oh, boy. In downtown Mission Valley, you're going to have two human beings. Yep. Wearing white robes and a bikini underneath. Very different human beings. Yes. Very different. J and L-O-B. Lauren O'Brien. Lauren O'Brien is a foxy blonde. Nice beaver.
Oh, gosh. Hit the wrong one. It's a new system. It's a new system. I literally almost choked. Oh, man. But it is accurate, so. Woo! That's good. They are going to be down on the corner of Friars and Friseum Mission Valley with white robes on. They're going to be asked trivia questions. The loser has to take off that robe in a bikini. Yep. You're going down, LOB. No, I'm not. It's going to be as fair... I'm not nervous because I feel confident. And you're going to lose. It's going to be fair as fair can be. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. First person to six points wins. You can steal. Yeah, I will steal. Oh. You get 10 seconds to answer the question. It's going to be fair. My decisions are final. I am not trying to get a win for L.O.B. I am not trying to get a win for J. I am... Because either way...
It's fantastic. It's what you call in the biz a win-win. It is. In the biz. In the biz. It's what you call a win-win. Mikey Show listeners in M1, go to facebook.com slash Mikey Show if you would like to like our page. We want you to. Yeah, if you want to like. If you like like us. If you like like us, then like us. Like us. I'll be like, so like, nice like. That's right, Miley. Woodsy, what's new in the sporting world? Man, besides that absolutely insane story I told you earlier about Sam Hurd, who plays for the Chicago Bears, dealing cocaine. Yeah, he's in jail right now. Last night there was an NFL football game. I don't know if you knew that, but the Atlanta Falcons won. 41-14 over the Jacksonville Jags, and they are looking to make the playoffs. They are 9-5, and they're looking pretty strong going into the playoff run. And then also, if you remember Brian Stowe, he was a San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten severely outside of Dodger Stadium. He gave his first...
television interview since the attack. It will be airing on the show Rock Center, which is on NBC. And that's going to be played sometime soon. What's the matter? I don't know when it's going to be played. Oh, wow. Soon. Stay tuned for more details on that. Nicole, I need you for this. Nicole, you got to come in the studio. Oh, yeah, girl. I didn't play that. Jay did. That's just awkward, Mike. That's very strange, Mike. Is it as awkward as off the air when Jay said, How are your finals going? Oh, I know. Trying to make small talk so creepy. It's so creepy. We spent the day together yesterday. You and Nicole spent the day together? Well, the morning. It was just us in here doing the best of. Oh, the poor thing. Got it. You had to do the best of with Jay? It's training.
Jay making small talk with Nicole is one of the creepiest. She's 19 years old. She's our phone screener. I need you to really speak up right into that thing as much energy as you got, Nicole. The phone call on Wednesday night from Jay to Nicole sounded something like this. Hey, I don't know if you know, but when we do best of, we wear mini skirts and low cut tops. So it's just this thing. Mikey has to have it done that way. So that's what I need to have done. Jay walks in here when she was in here and he goes, how are finals? I was like, at least I take the time to get to know her. You guys did not know she was having finals yesterday. That's right, Mike. Listen, I like to know people's lives. That's all I care. Especially 19-year-old women's lives. I just pry and I pry and I pry. Well, anyway. I'm going to have Nicole participate in this as well, all right? And I want you to ask yourself in the car, what do you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Now, you must put on the honest cap. You must put on the honest cap. You cannot say something to try to appear humble. You can't say something to try to appear self-deprecating. You must answer the question with as much honesty as you can possibly muster. And we're talking looks only. Looks.
Only. Today. Right here as we sit today. Right now. Okay. Now, I will tell you before I even go any further that one out of three people said that they're an 8, 9, or 10. Whoa. Only one out of three people said they were an 8, a 9, or a 10. And 57% of people said they were at least a 7. And three out of four people rated themselves above. A five. Okay. By the way, Miami, the city of Miami, they gave themselves the highest average rating. Figures. Yeah, that's pretty accurate. Followed in order by Chicago, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Lauren. No. I said Lauren because Lauren's from New Jersey and she's from an area very close to Philly. And then Phoenix, Arizona, which I would agree with.
People in Phoenix are very attractive. The weather draws them there. And if you've ever been to Scottsdale, you know what I'm saying. Really? Yes. San Diego needs to be on that list. But maybe we're just humble. Okay. Now, I am going to begin with you, 19-year-old phone screener, Nicole. On a scale of 1 to 10. That is so awkward when Jay plays that. And then off the air when he says, hey, now, Nicole, you know when I play those little old sound effects, I'm just, and with no expression, emotionless eyes, dead eyes. Dead black eyes. Yeah, dead black eyes of a sea bass. Oh, yeah, girl. You know when I say that, I'm just messing. I'm just playing, girl. I'm just playing. Nicole, on a scale of one to ten, what do you give yourself? An eight. All right.
They said, that is good. They said, one out of three say eight, nine, or ten. Woods, what do you think you are? Be honest, dude. Don't mess with me. I'm a six. Okay, are you trying to be? No, I'm a six. Today, as I sit here today, I'm a six. Okay. Fat boy. Yes, that's the problem. Lauren. Seven. Jay. I'm going to go six. Liar. He's lying. He's lying. He's lying. My personality carries me, but, you know. Well, we're talking about looks. I know, I'm saying looks. In the looks department, you believe that you're a six. I believe that I'm a six. Like, probably a low six. See, Mike, the way that I endear myself to the audience is I behave like a chameleon. Yes. What I mean by that is I blend into my environment.
And by environment, I mean M1 Nation. Right. All right? All of our listeners. My flock. I mean M1 Nation's happiness. That's right. And so if what M1 Nation wants is a humble little old guy, they're going to get a humble little old guy. That's right. I rate my looks at just below the average. I rate myself at a four. Okay, five being average. Scale of one to ten. Five is right in the middle. That's average. I put myself right below that, but I'm not disgusted in my opinion. I don't think I'm disgusting. No, I'm not disgusting. Chubby, I'm not disgusting. You're not disgusting. Oh, gosh. He is looking at me. He's looking at me right in the eyes when he says it. And he locks eyes so that he turns his head and his eyes don't move. They stay on me. He goes.
You ain't disgusting, Mike. You ain't disgusting, Mike. Nope. He's sitting on his fingers since you're both crossed. Port-a-cans are disgusting. Yes, Mike. Port-a-cans. You are not disgusting. You're better than a port-a-can, Mike. An outhouse at a Rammstein concert in Germany? That's disgusting. That's disgusting, right? The couch after a porn shoot. And Mike, you ain't no couch at a porn shoot. A seal that has leprosy. You ain't that. You ain't that. Mike, give yourself a break. You ain't a seal with leprosy. I mean, don't get me wrong. You got the potential to let yourself go. Mike. Let me tell you something. The little girl in the exorcist after the pea soup was freaking... She was disgusted. Now, I'm saying after the pea soup. Yeah. Disgusting. Hideous. In fact, that ain't you. That ain't you. Come on now. Give yourself credit. Four. Now, what I think would be interesting would be to go around the room and see...
what we think of each other. No, that's the worst idea I've ever heard. Is that a bad idea? That's a really bad idea. I rate Woods higher than a six. I think he's a seven. I think L.O.B. is a strong eight. I think Nicole called it right. She's an eight. And I believe that Jay is a seven. Yeah. I believe you're a seven. I think you're all ten. We're all ten. Come on. We can all be honest. I'm a six. I'm a six. I'm chubby now. Here's what I want people to do. I want you to go to Facebook.com. We want to hear you. No, no, no, no, no. You don't know what I'm going to say. You don't know what I'm going to say. Calm down, Lauren. Calm down. She's going to be a 10 anyway. What is she crying about? Calm down. I want you to go to Facebook.com slash Mikey show. And I want you to put your number. Then people are going to write mean things. Oh, who do you think you are? Oh, your face is fat. Are they talking about Mikey? I'm not going to allow that because I don't allow bullying. Or bulleting. Bulleting. We don't allow either. I don't allow bulleting. Or bullying. But I think that it'll be interesting to see various people and what we think of ourselves. Yeah, man.
Because that study says that we think very highly of ourselves. Now, look, I can get myself back to a seven. I can get back to a seven. You've been saying that for years. I can. If I drop 25 pounds, I'm a seven again. You're never dropping that weight. I will kill you. I believe that at my best, I can be a strong seven. A strong seven. I believe my number will never hire. B.S. You believe what, L.O.B.? My number will never raise because men desire youth, which I will never get back. Yeah, but you look way younger than you are. Yeah, but I peaked out. I'm on a downward slope. Oh, boy, with that. It is true. Age-wise, you are. Age-wise, you're going down. But you can hold it. Now, listen. My wife. L.O.B. If you just go get some fight cans, you can raise that number right away. There's things you can do. I'll give you a 10. There's some stuff you can do. Look, my wife, I'm not going to say how old she is, but she's 41. You monster. No, she's 40. She's just 40. You're a monster. She's 40. You can't do that. She's 40. Now, listen. She's 40. When I, she shows me pictures of these girls she graduated with, and I'm like.
Oh, my God. I'm like, are you kidding me? She looks amazing for 40 years old. Dynamite. Well, and that's the thing, you know. I mean, I think that. Your wife looks very young, Mike. Your wife Rebecca looks very younger than she was. And Jay's wife, too. Yeah. But what do you rate yourself? Yeah. That's what I think was so fascinating about them. Now, check this out. The lowest rated city. Cities that thought they were not very good looking. Either because they're insecure or they're just ugly. But the city that gave itself the lowest rating was Cleveland. Oh, I agree with that. It's born into people from Cleveland. Cleveland's the worst. They hate themselves. It's the worst. The next one I can tell you from experience is incorrect. Yep. Dallas, Texas. Dude. Yeah, that's weird. It's weird. There are very, very, very.
beautiful men and women in Dallas. They're too hard on themselves. They're way too hard on themselves. Maybe it's that southern humility that I have so well, so much. I've never seen you have that. Then Detroit. Detroit, Michigan. Then Denver, Colorado. Again, disagree. I disagree with that. That's the modesty thing. They're modest people. Bro. Bro. Listen. My parents lived there. I used to go there to visit. Oh, see, that's my type of guy. Maybe the guys, but the girls in Denver. I mean, I remember, I will never forget walking around the nicest area of Denver in the mall going, Really? Yeah. After Denver. No offense. After Denver, Minneapolis, St. Paul. Yeah. You want to know where the prettiest girls I've ever seen are in the whole country? Florida. No. Salt Lake City. I've never seen anything like it. It was like the Stepford Wives, dude. Women everywhere that were just perfect. They're purebred. That's right. They don't drink. They don't smoke. They don't curse. They don't have sex. I would think San Diego would be really. Yeah. There are a lot of very attractive people in San Diego. I'd like to see that list right next to what other people think of the cities. Yeah. AJ. Hey. Do I have. Now.
I have to give Jay a big break today because we're switching over to a new system. I need the music for football. Oh, you have some. Okay, yeah, I'll use one of these. We're switching over to a new system, so we will use this music for our football picks for this weekend. Woodsy already said it. Atlanta beat Jacksonville last night, 41-14. Dallas heads into Tampa Bay and I think makes short work of the Buccaneers. Me too. Dallas has lost some close games in the fourth quarter recently. I think they pull it together. Cincinnati goes to a reeling St. Louis. St. Louis looks as bad as bad can be. Sam Bradford, awful. I take Cincinnati. Me too. Miami goes into Buffalo.
And I believe that an improved Miami team will win on the road in Buffalo. So far, so good, man. Me and you on the same page. Miami and Matt Moore gets it done against Buffalo. The Redskins go into New York to face the Giants, and I think the Giants are tough at home, and they win. Yeah, absolutely. Eli's playing pretty well, so Giants will win that game. Nothing changes in Indianapolis, even at home this weekend. They stay. Winless, I believe, against the Tennessee Titans. I believe that team is bad enough to finish the season without a regular season win. So Tennessee definitely wins. A much improved Seattle Seahawks team goes into Chicago. Chicago has who is their quarterback? Some guy. Caleb Haney and somebody else. Somebody I've never heard of. So I am definitely taking. Seattle on the road. Was he? I also took Seattle, man. They lost Jay Cutler and Matt Forte. And now this stuff breaking with Sam Hurd is a huge, huge distraction for them. Seattle wins. Green Bay heads into Kansas City. And for the upset of the week. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Their head coach was fired. They have a new guy that is going to instill in them and inspire them.
that not only are they winners, but they could beat the champs, and I believe they win at home. You know, I would agree. I like where your head is at, except for that that guy is Romeo Cronell. So I got to go Green Bay taking care of business. Carolina heads into Houston, and I believe that the Texans win at home. Absolutely, man. Next up, New Orleans at Minnesota. I'll take Drew Brees on the road. Me too, all day long. And Detroit. Goes into Oakland. Detroit's just not playing good football lately, and Oakland has been playing better football. I will take Oakland. See, Oakland got smoked last week, and I believe the week before, but they do have a winning record. I took Detroit, though. Cleveland goes into Arizona. The ugliest people, apparently, in the United States of America. Against some of the prettiest. Against some of the prettiest. I'll take the pretty people. I took the pretty people, too. Arizona kept coming off a big win last week. We'll take care of Cleveland. The Jets go into Philly. But I still take the Jets because I think that defense is so strong. Me, too. I took the Jets as well. The Patriots head into the Denver Tebos. Weird.
Denver wins at home. You're such a clown. Denver wins at home. I mean, why would I take them? Only the last six or seven. Well, yeah, but they're playing Tom Brady. So the Patriots smoke the Broncos. Yeah. In what I think may be the best game, the best game of the week, Pittsburgh heads into San Francisco. I'll take the Niners at home. You know, I would have last week, except the Niners just lost to John Skelton. And the freaking Arizona Cardinals, they're reeling a little bit. I think Pittsburgh takes care of business on the road. Baltimore, the Ravens are coming to San Diego. And I believe that San Diego wins this game, but it's going to be close. Woods, what do you think? I had to take the, you know, I had to take the Ravens. I don't want to. I'm rooting for you, Chargers, but I think the Ravens will win the game and knock the Chargers out of the playoffs. Ladies and gentlemen, when we return to the radio airwaves. Oh, Jay's already in his fluffy white robe. Oh, my God, what a sex pervert he looks like. Underneath that robe is a bikini. Lauren's going to go put on a bikini and a white robe, and they're both headed down to Friars and Frisee and Mission Valley off the 163. If you want to see it for yourself, that's where you got to be. And we will do that next. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. You can get in line.
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This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Call Allstate now. You'll get a free lifetime membership and good hands roadside assistance. Plus, you get a quote and your first tow is free. That's right, free. Shop less, get more, make one call to an Allstate agent. A little bit of slow in here this morning as you travel on the 163 northbound Robinson Street, Quinn Street. It's about 16 miles an hour. Also, some backup on the 8 westbound from the 15 south to Fairmont Avenue. Swinging you way up here onto the 67 southbound Maple View Street all the way down to Riverford Road. It's about 14 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, when it's time to service your Toyota, your best choice is your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Great prices. Service while you wait. Wi-Fi. Shut up. service a whole lot more. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird with Bird Surf Shed with FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday evening brought to you by Bird Surf Shed where you can pick up fine Christmas quality products for all your loved ones. Different stuff to be had at Bird's not just your regular old thing you'll find in most shops around so check it out for something unusual and special.
Surf-wise, over the next few days, we're going to see a little change in weather. It's a funky little cold pressure system moves through right tonight, likely to give us some showers and some strong winds. That's going to clean up and clear through pretty quickly. Surf should pick up along with that, too, out of the West Northwest. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Merry Christmas, everybody. It's me and you in here, buddy. It is real good. Who's this? It is time. It's Elliot Yameen. Oh, it is Elliot Yameen. Yes. Are you familiar with his work? Sounds like Stevie Wonder a little bit. Yeah, he does. Now, we've got L-O-B and J down on the corner of Friars and Frisee.
and they're going to be in white robes. I saw Jay's. I did not see L.O.B. in her white robe. It was hideous. Jay's was. And they got a call in, and the first person to six points will win. They'll get ten seconds to answer the question. All right, so let's see. Let's see. Is this Jay? This is L.O.B. Hi, L.O.B. And is Jay calling in as well? He is. Okay. Jay, is that you? Jay, is that you? That is not Jay. Okay, so tell Jay to call the request line. Oh, he is calling the request line, I believe, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, I answered it and no one was there. What we're going to do is? Oh, my God, I see them. You see them? Oh, my God. They're on the corner of Friars and Frazee. Jay, is that you? Yes, this is me. Okay, now I got you both.
Now, here is the way that this is going to work. Woods, can you take score for me? Yeah, I will take score, and I will also do the silent count for you. All right, so here's the deal. They will have 10 seconds to answer the question. The first person to six points is going to be the winner, and you can steal. Woods and whoever loses has to take off their robe, and they're wearing a bikini underneath it. Is there anybody out there? And by the way, if you drive by honk, that's always our bit. If you drive by, you're listening to the Mikey Show start honking, and we have an 8 to 10 second delay, so it'll take a second for people to hear me say that. But if you see them honk. There's a lot of people on foot that are watching. There you go. There's a big horn. There you go. So they're out there in white robes. That guy's got a heck of a horn. Now, is there a sign that says turn it to FM 94? Yeah, there is.
Okay, good. I'm holding it. All right. Now, we're going to flip a coin, and I'm going to let Lauren call the coin and tell me heads or tails. Flip it, Woods. Lauren, what do you want? Heads or tails? Heads. Heads. It is tails. It is tails. No, I'm serious. It's tails. Okay. All right. That means Jay goes first, and Jay, I've got a timer right here. Jay, you've got 10 seconds to answer the question. Are you ready? What is the name? of Madonna's ex-husband who directed the films Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. That is correct. Everyone knows that. All right, so that's one point for Jay. Oh, my God. That's one point for Jay. Ella B., are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. This... Oh, wait a minute. I'm sorry. I screwed up. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Don't choose a hard one. No, I'm not. Hey.
I'm going back and forth between Wood's questions and my questions. Okay. What is the name of Simon Cowell's new singing competition show? The X Factor. That is correct. Oh, goodness. That is correct. 1-1. 1-1. It's 1-1. Jay? Yes. Oh, my gosh. This winner of the sixth season of American Idol also has a father who played in the NFL. Who is it? Can you repeat the question? Yes, I can. This winner of the sixth season of American Idol has a father who played in the NFL. Who is it? Kobe Calais. That's incorrect. L.O.B., would you like to steal? No, I would not. Okay. Okay. All right. The answer is Jordan Sparks. All right, Lauren, you ready? Yes.
Name the famous director of Titanic and most recently, Avatar. James Cameron. That is correct. Kurt Cameron's father? So it's L-O-B-2, J-J-1, and the person who gets to six points first is the winner. All right, Jay, you ready? Yes. Who is the most recent winner of Dancing with the Stars? Last name is J.R. Martinez. That is correct. Wow. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What a pull. So it's now tied two to two. Are you ready, L.O.B.? I'm ready. They are both. If you're just tuning in, Jay and Lauren are on the corner of Friars and Frisee in Mission Valley. They're wearing white robes. They both have bikinis on underneath it. Someone keeps yelling out Tebow. I don't know why. Somebody keeps yelling out what?
Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. There you go. Okay, here we go, L.O.B. Oh, my gosh. Name the male and female hosts of the Today Show. Matt Lauer. Uh-huh. And Ann Curry. That is correct. L.O.B. 3, J. 2. First person to six wins. Oh, she's got the advantage now. J. The 2010 Best Picture Oscar went to this movie that starred Jeremy Renner. Jeremy. Jeremy Renner. And this is a movie. The 2010 Best Picture Oscar went to this movie that starred Jeremy Renner. Ten seconds is up. L.O.B., would you like to steal? I would like to steal. What is it? S.O.B. That would be The Hurt Locker. Wow. That is correct. Thank you.
4. L.O.B. L.O.B. 4. J. 2. L.O.B. only needs two more points for the victory, and then J. would have to drop his robe to reveal his bikini. Uh-oh, it's a cop. Cops are here. Oh, God. It's okay. He's an M1. Not doing anything wrong. All right, are you ready? Are you ready, J? Yes, I'm ready. Who is Dominic Strauss-Kahn? Dominic, he or she is great. Movie star. That's incorrect. Oh, God. Lauren, do you know the answer? Would you like to steal? I do, but I'm not going to take my chances because I feel like I'm going to get the word wrong. It's a good idea. No. It was that sex pervert from France that... Prime Minister? Yeah. Head of the IMF. Head of the IMF that sexually assaulted the maid. All right. Lauren. Yeah.
Name any member of the Black Eyed Peas besides Fergie. Oh, God. Will I am? Wow. That is correct. Five to two. It is five to two. Jay. Come on, Jay. Jay. Yeah. Johnny Depp based his famous Captain Jack Sparrow character in Pirates of the Caribbean on what famous guitar player? He's in the Rolling Stones. And he's not Mick Jagger yet. Ali, I can't remember. Keith Richards. Yes. That is correct. Five to three. It is now five to three. This could win it. You could win it with this one. That's right. Lauren, who are the voices behind TV's South Park? Yeah. Who are the what? Who are the voices behind TV's South Park? What do you mean by that? Who are the two voices? It's two guys. Oh, there's only two. Yes. God. The creators. The creators. The main voices. Creators. The main voices. That would be Mark Johnson and Eric Carter. Incorrect, but a great guess. A great guess. You have to have both the names? You have to have both the names. Does she get both subtracted from her score now? No. No, she doesn't. Well, then I'll take a chance and steal.
Logan and Seth Green. No, that's incorrect. It was Trey Parker and Matt Stone. That's what I meant. 5-3 Lauren. It's 5-3 Lauren. If she gets this next one, she wins. It's Jay's turn. Yeah, it's Jay's turn. Jay, it's your turn. No, no, no, no. He doesn't get his turn. No, we just go back and forth, though, LLB. All right, are you ready, Jay? Sure. Wait, maybe it is Lauren's turn. It is Lauren's turn. That's my fault. It is Lauren's turn because Keith Richards was the last. No, it's Jay's turn. It's Jay's turn because I asked Lauren who the voice is at South Park. Yeah, it's Jay's turn. It's Jay's turn. You guys, I thought the point of stealing was. No, you can win the point. We go back and forth. All right, all right, all right, all right. All right, Jay, you ready? Yes. Name the golden-voiced homeless man. He's the golden-voiced homeless man. I don't know his name. His name's Dick. That's incorrect. L.O.B., do you want to steal? I will steal since there's nothing to lose. Ted Williams. You got it. You got it. You did it. All right. All right. On the count of three, you got to drop that robe. All right. Fine. One, two, three. Drop that robe. There's Jay in all of his beautiful glory.
wearing a bikini on the corner of Friars and Frisee. He has a bush in his pants. In Mission Valley. That is fantastic. Just in case he wants to return them. He still has the tags on him. Of course he does. Of course he... Hey, drop the robe. Drop it. Yeah, drop the robe. Drop the robe. Take the robe off, Jay. Robe off. Robe off. I thought it was for a minute. No, robe off. Robe off. There he goes. Oh, my gosh. He's wearing a bikini. Jay is wearing a... Drop the robe. There are people taking pictures. There are people taking pictures. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Give what they want. Look at all these guys. I won. Oh, my gosh. The bikini challenge has got to be some kind of a...
We got to do like a regular bikini joint. All right, guys. You did a great job. All right. Come on up. Oh, my God. That's fantastic. He put a big wig. He did. And it had like a black bush coming out the side. What a dope. He's so dorky. Oh, my gosh. I hope they don't think that these questions were like unfair. There's some hard ones in there. Yeah, there was. But there was also, you know, the golden voiced homeless guy. The hardest question was Dominic Strauss-Kahn. Oh, yeah. That was definitely the toughest question. But I thought it would be okay because we've talked about it on the radio. A bunch. Jay doesn't pay a hell of a lot of attention. That is true. And despite what he says, he forgets. He forgets. He does. So, yeah. I'll tell you what the questions were that they didn't get. All right. Give them to me. I'll see if I can get them.
This rock star recently joined the cast of judges on American Idol. That's Steven Tyler. That is correct, Woods. Woods, what state is Mitt Romney from? He's from Utah. That is incorrect. You thought that because he's Mormon? Yeah, where's he from? Massachusetts. Oh, yeah. And then finally, who's Tom Cruise married to? He's married to Katie Holmes. That is a correct statement. Thank you. There you go. Thank you. There you go. We're going to be, by the way, Lauren O'Brien. The foxy blonde who did not have to drop her robe. Unfortunately. Her and I are going to be on the CW6 this morning. And they told us what time. I believe it's like an hour from now. Happy birthday. They're going to ask some questions about relationships. Woods gets all. I'll just be here in the trenches. It's butt hurt. You know, that's the best way to describe it. You get butter. I'll just be in the trenches. I mean, who wouldn't want to be on TV, you know, every Friday? I understand. You know, do you? Well, I didn't make the rules. Maybe you fight for me. I didn't make the rules. Maybe you fight for me. Yeah, I know. But how do you have three different people, you know, hey, here's what I do. How do we have four different people on the air? That's a great question. You kind of got me with that. Of course. You kind of got me with that one. Of course. But I think they just want to streamline it. They want to make it as easy as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Sure, sure, sure.
Whatever you need to tell yourself to make yourself feel better. Sleep better at night. Sleep better at night. If you can put your head down in your pillow knowing that you basically hosed your boy out of a weekly TV appearance, then so be it, pal. My boy will always feel hosed. Yeah. You will feel hosed even if I go out of my way. Yes. It's just my nature. Woods is your friend, dudes. Woods is your friend that you have. And everybody has this guy friend. He's this guy that through no fault of your own, something has come up. You can't party with him. Kid doesn't like to be dismissed. He does not like to be dismissed. Boy, I don't like to be dismissed. If I have an idea and nobody likes it, it's a personal affront to me. It's personal. He doesn't believe that it's anything else but personal. Yeah. But he's also this friend. Let's say that you decided that you were going to go out to dinner and a couple of your buddies are with you and you go out to dinner. Now, it happened very spontaneously. If Woods did not get that phone call, you will get a message on your voicemail that will say, oh, great. You just don't care about your boy, huh? Yep. Put me on the pay me no mind list.
No, real good. Did he lose my number? Did he just have fun? What did you have? He'll get you with that. And I'll say, Woods, it happened. I didn't even think about it. I know you didn't. I know you didn't think about me. No, no, no. I didn't think about you. We were all downtown, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe it. It's Scott. And Scott goes, dude, let's call so-and-so. He's a block away from us. Right. Woods is also the type of friend, though, that if he receives a text message that says, hey, I need your help moving this desk upstairs, he says, I'm on my way. Yes, but... He's also that friend. Woods is also the friend that had already agreed to that. Yeah, yeah, but... Helping to move the desk. Yeah, for sure, but he will agree. And so all I'm doing is simply texting you to let you know, hey, it's time to move the desk. And I will be the type of friend that will say, yeah. I'm on my way. I'm on my way as agreed. Let's do this. What Woods just did right now is the equivalent of saying, hey, I'm the type of cashier. You give me money, I give you cigarettes. Yes, you are. Hey, you can't take that away from me. Can't take it away from you. I cannot take that fact away from you.
We have been getting a lot of requests for it, and so I will play for you a tale that will be told every Christmas. It's a tale that really has a lot of moral behind it, and it will teach you a lesson about what not to be. Frosty the Cokehead. Yes. Was a joyless, empty soul. Yes, he was. With a corncob straw and a blown out nose and two eyes that look like holes. Yes. Frosty the Cokehead is a scary tale, they say. He was made of snow, which is code for blow, and was snorted every day. That's live. There must have been an eight ball in that old hag's purse they found. There must have been an eight ball. But when they placed it in his pipe, he began to dance around. Oh, Frosty, the coke head was alive as he could be. Suddenly he's Jimmy Durante. And the junkies say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me. Best part. Thump, buddy, thump, thump. Oh, there it is. There you go. Look at coke.
And that's it, huh? Could have maybe used another... Just stopped right there. Maybe like a resolution to the song. Yeah. You know, like a verse, chorus, verse, chorus. Yes. Ending. Yes. Verse. That would be great. Right. Woods. Woods, I need you to walk me through something. Okay. And I know that you can. Nobody can help me through a situation like you can. Okay. My wife. Well, first of all, I got to tell you right from the beginning.
Jake's very upset right now. I just had to write my wife. I'll share this old with you. Now, do you know that stupid Andy doll? Yes. Okay. Andy the elf. Andy the elf. Yeah. The idea with Andy the elf is that you hide it. Yeah. Okay, well, I hid it, and Jake was upset because he couldn't find it. So, oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Look at him. Look at him. Did they get pictures? Because I need to get this right quick. It's the filthiest thing I've ever seen. It's the filthiest thing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's the filthiest thing. A police officer came by. Yes. And he was over on the PA. He went. Oh, wow. Gosh. They're listening out there real good. Doesn't he look like a. He looks like a grandmother in Arkansas. Of course you did. Look how it's not even a matching bikini. Look at him. That's disgusting. It's one of the most hideous things I've ever seen in my life. I'm going to put it on Facebook right now. Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. That's so disturbing.
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. So I'm holiday shopping at Verizon and tell the sales girl they've made their list. I've checked it twice. I need three smartphones. And she says, try the 4G LTE Samsung Stratosphere. It's only $99.99 after $50 mail-in rebate debit card. So I say, 4G, huh. But in my head. I'm thinking. Then I say, my kids go through lots of data. And she goes, right now, you can double their data for the same price when you get them a 4G LTE smartphone. And now, I'm all. Give the technology they love on the network they deserve. And for a limited time, double your data without paying a penny more when you buy a new 4G LTE smartphone. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash holiday, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Double your data applies to new activations or upgrades, and data packs two gigabytes or higher. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com.
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here on the 15 South on South Wabash Boulevard, that off-ramp. They do have tow trucks on the way. This report also brought to you by Subway. Enjoy the deli-style taste of the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt with piled-high pastrami, spicy mustard, pickles, and cheese. Sounds good to me. Get the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Do you or someone you know suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia? Are you currently taking medication for depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia that isn't very effective? Are you still unhappy or feeling down or not quite like your normal self lately? Excel Research has several new clinical research studies involving investigational medication that may be of interest to you. If you are 18 years of age or older and have anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, you may be eligible to participate. Call Excel Research 760-758. Call now. Call Excel Research. 760-758-2222. Or log on to www.excelresearch.com to see if you qualify.
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How long had you heard me talking about AIS? That's it, man. I mean, most people are just like you. They hear me talk about AIS, but it just takes a while before you go, you know what? I got to do it. Yeah, and I got to tell you, it was the best move I could have made. $850 a year is a huge savings to us, and I think like everybody else, we're tightening up our belts and trying to save money, and this is a great way to do it. They definitely saved me. 1-800-777-4247. Thank you, M1 Bandit. I appreciate it. Absolutely, Mikey. You guys have a great day. You too. Hey, it's Jay with The Mikey Show, and I've got all the details on the upcoming 94.9 Big Bear snowboard trip. It's January 20th through the 22nd. Packages include lift tickets for you and a guest for two days. Hotel rooms at the Sheraton Forest Hotel for two nights. There are two different packages available. Go online at fm949sd.com if you want to see all the details and purchase. Do it today.
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Awesome. Thank you so much. You're welcome, and hang on long. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. You belong to M1 Nation, and you're always making new M1s. It's a Mikey Show fan. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. So, Woodsy, update us. What's going on in the sporting world? A lot of things happen. Oh, man. Bowl season is upon us. It's been absolutely crazy. But the NFL playoffs are going to be next weekend. The Patriots, the Ravens, the Packers, and the Niners are all on a bye. Okay. So they all, you know, they're good. They're not playing. They are waiting for the winners of these games. This was funny. The Bengals will take on the Texans at 1.30 on Saturday. And as you remember, Carson Palmer wouldn't play for the Bengals. Said, trade me. He played for the Raiders, who didn't make the playoffs. The Bengals did. They will be taking on the Texans at 1.30 on Saturday. The Lions at the Saints, which is going to be...
A freaking shootout. Yeah. I can't wait to see that game. That's also Saturday. On Sunday, Falcons at the Giants and the Steelers at the Broncos. If you're a Steelers fan, you're bummed. Rashard Mendenhall tore his ACL. He's out for the playoffs. Really? Yeah, so they're going to have to do it without him. Did you see any of the commercials during football? Did you watch any football? I did. Did you see the commercials that they played about fantasy football on the NFL where they were playing a sad song and the people that lost? It's really funny. And I thought, oh, boy, that was me. That was you. I finished second. You did great. I was in the finals, and I lost in the finals. If I had, this is what got me. Earlier in the day, I had picked up a kicker. And I was like, should I go with this guy? Should I go with this guy? And I didn't. Went with the guy that I'd been going with all year. The guy I was going with all year, Dan Bailey for the Cowboys, one point. The guy I picked up, 17 points. If I switch the kicker, I'm $500 richer today. Instead, I made $200. But I finished second. Yeah, I was stoked. I mean, it's better than a sharp stick in the eye. Oh, man. Wow. Got to hear this. And we told you, even if it's slight news that, you know, who knows what's going on with the coaching situation. But I want to go to this because a lot of people want to know, what's the deal with the coaching situation right now in the NFL?
Turner in San Diego. Well, North Turner will be determined by, I would have to think, Wednesday. Dean Spano's taking a couple days to think about it, whether to keep Norv, fire Norv, keep A.J. Smith, the general manager, or let him go, or keep both, let both go. So he's still thinking that it's going to take one more day for that to happen. Jim Caldwell's going to take a little bit more time. He'll now be at the mercy of the new general manager who's going to be hired. That's coach of the Indianapolis Colts. Yep. It's going to take a couple weeks for that to happen. So at the moment, he stays. But if the GM who's hired doesn't like him, then he goes. You know what I think is really unusual? If that's true. If what John Clayton just said is true. This is what I think is so bizarre about it. It is January 3rd. You've been through this entire... Forget the season. Years. I mean... and you're still not sure what to, I mean, like, even if your decision was to keep him, you would think that you would definitively know, I'm not getting rid of Norv. You would definitively know. How are you taking a couple of days to think about it at this point in the scenario? There's a lot that goes into it, obviously, and I think, you know, the contract is a big thing, that he still has two years remaining, and I think that when you saw...
Them winning four out of their last five. They were playing really hard for North. They always say, hey, we play real hard for this guy. But man, that six-game streak, in the middle of that, somebody's got to be accountable. Somebody has to be accountable. The Boston Red Sox are a good example in baseball. That's a great franchise and a great organization. Terry Francona was the only guy to ever win a World Series for that turd. They won two of them. What do they do after they don't make the playoffs? They fire them. The old saying is heads got a role. But that's an example of a good coach getting canned. Of a great coach. I think a great coach getting canned. But heads got a role. And for the Chargers to be two years removed from the playoffs, didn't make it last year, didn't make it this year, heads got a role. And I'll tell you what, my gut tells me, my sizable gut tells me that Greg Monusky is out, the defensive coordinator. He's going to be out. I bet Norv and AJ stay. I bet it's one more year. You know, I think A.J. Smith is a good general manager. Woods doesn't think so. Well, he's a good evaluator of talent. I'll give you that because the guy knows talent. GM, as a GM, kind of a jerk. You know, he's kind of a jerk. He draws a real hard line. And he's prideful. He's very prideful. And, you know, he's very stubborn. And you have to be a little bit more flexible. How good would the Chargers have been last year if Vincent Jackson didn't set out 10 games? Yeah. I mean, proof's in the pudding.
I think you will enjoy this. This is a viral video that's going around right now. Kid wanted to get an iPod Touch for Christmas, but didn't think that he was actually going to get the iPod Touch for Christmas. I mean, after all, they're expensive. They cost a lot of money. But he did get an iPod Touch. Now, when he said that right now, I just want you to know something. When he said that... He was saying, oh, I hope it's an iPod touch. But he knows in his head, it won't be. Right. Oh, my God. Do you like it? Actual audio of Mikey opening his gifts on Christmas. Seriously. What's that guy going to do the first time he sees a naked girl? Oh, my God. He's very excitable. Oh, my God. Listen, laugh. Oh, wow, you're screaming. Like a girl. Yeah, like a little girl.
Okay, John. John. I get it. He's going to have a heart attack. John. John. I know. Settle down. John, Stan, what do we do? I don't know. Get the taser. Did he cut himself? No, he's not. He's hurt. What is it? What do you think it is? Come on. You think it's a basketball? It's not a basketball. You know what else it is? It isn't a banana. It's incredible. On one hand, you can't hope for a better reaction. On the other hand, you want to slap him because he's... Yeah. He's obnoxious. Ridiculous. Okay. Yep. All right. Got it. Got it. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. The neighbors. The neighbors. The neighbors. The neighbors. You like it, though? Do you like the... Okay. Uh-oh. All right. Can you hold it up for the camera? Yeah, hold it for the camera.
You're screaming. You're screaming at the top of your lungs. Stop, stop, stop. That's loud. All right. Inside voice. Inside voice. Inside voice. Billy? Billy? Billy? Billy? Slap him. Billy? You don't have a choice. Holy cow. That's an instance where you can slap a kid. Yeah. You need to get... You need to get him under control. You got to get him under control. You got to get him under control. That's like an adult that needs to be slapped. The kid would thank you. The kid would thank you. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. Sorry. I don't know what happened to me. Oh, gosh. Uh-oh. It's so loud. It's what you wanted, isn't it? It's what you wanted. Snap out of it. Yes. It's an iPod. It's an iPod. It's an iPod. It's okay. Okay, John. Son of a... Son of a... God, he's loud. Gosh, darn it. Ten minutes later, the cops show up. Yeah. We heard there was a woman screaming. Is that kid going to run in Christmas Day? I don't know. 700 times and go, look what else it does. And they're like, all right, I'm trying to watch a football game, kids. Every five minutes. Look what else. Look at dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. Which brings this up.
Okay, which brings this up. Earlier we were talking about Woodsy had a terrible Christmas. Horrible. He's arguing with his dad. We all have these stories, man, where we've gotten into family stuff. Now, I will preface this by saying I love my brother Steve. I love it when he visits. I, in fact, sometimes have resorted to begging him to visit. Right. Yes. That's how much I enjoy it. But, there's a but, I know that there's going to be Steve moments. Now, I guarantee you he can say the same thing about me. He has Mike moments. He has Mike moments. In fact, I bet they're identical. The very thing that upsets me about him is probably what upsets him about me. Yep. My brother, I believe. is very high maintenance now what i mean by that is he always requires something yes the guy requires something now yesterday i told woods he requires something woods goes what do you mean i don't get it from the time he walks into the house hey dude you got a pair of socks yeah yeah i do yeah get your pair of socks cool hey you guys have any orange juice
I got to mix this with orange juice. Yeah, I don't know. Check the fridge. Check the fridge. Make yourself at home. Yeah. Hey, dude, what's the password to get onto the internet? Oh, you mean the one that I've given to you 50 other times that you've been here? That one? Let me type it in for you. Hey, dude, what are we doing after dinner? Are we staying here or what are we doing? Okay, then you're watching TV. And a commercial comes on that talks about Sunday Night Football, and it's the Giants and the Cowboys. And he goes, how are the Giants doing? I don't know. Texel Woods. I don't know. There are endless questions. I think I have another wife there. It's called a conversation. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He needs something. He needs something. He needs something. That's family. He needs something. He needs something. There's something always. Hey, where's the blah, blah, blah?
Hey, do you have the da-da-da? If it were a reality show, you could edit all of the moments where Steve goes, hey, dude, hey, dude, hey, dude, hey, dude. Montage. A pair of socks? Hey, dude, you got a pair of socks? Hey, dude, can I borrow some cologne? Hey, dude, you got a blah, blah, blah? Hey, dude, what's the password to get on the internet? Hey, dude, what time are mom and dad? Hey, dude, do you know mom and dad's password? I'm over here right now, and I don't know the password to get on. Hey, dude, do you have... My dad does the questions, too. There's two things that he does that drives me nuts with the questions. Number one, he will interrupt whatever you're doing because he needs an answer to his question. So I'll be talking to my uncle that I haven't seen since maybe last Christmas or the Christmas before. Yeah, things are going to... Hey, Lauren! What's the name of that movie that mom likes? Hold on, Uncle Matt. I don't know, Dad, which movie? Yeah, you know...
The movie. Like, oh my gosh. And then he'll ask the same questions. That would kill me. That would kill me. Over, Lauren, what's that Mitch album book that I read? I know, Dad. I bought you all three of them. The one, the heaven one. Yeah. Five, five, strange, you meet in heaven. I don't know. It's your book. It's your book. It's your book. And then he'll ask the same, like, when I was leaving, I had a heavy suitcase. Mm-hmm. Tell me when your suitcase is ready so I can carry it down. Okay, thanks, Dad. Every 30 seconds. Hey, Lauren, you want me to take that suitcase down? No, Dad, I'll let you know when it's ready. Still not ready? Hey, Lauren, want me to take your suitcase? Nope, not since the last five minutes, Dad. I'll tell you when it's ready. Oh, my gosh. Kills me. How about the random? Hey, Mike, you have Terminator 2? Yeah, yeah. Somewhere. I don't want to watch it. Hey, dude, do you have Nita's number? Why? She said she was going to loan me a camera bag. Why do you need my Hungarian nanny's phone number? Tell me. Yes. Tell me. He's single, though, right? And he goes, yeah, she said she was going to loan me the bag. And she was gone. She was at the gym. And so.
He goes, well, can I just go get it? No. You can't go rifling through her stuff. It's nervous energy. He's got a lot of it. He's got a lot of nervous energy. And I know my brother so well. He was probably like. Oh, boy, with Mike not just... Rolling his eyes. Rolling his eyes. Oh, boy. Careful, Kevin. Oh, gosh, careful, Kevin. Let me take the bag. She said I could. She said I could use it. I'm sure... Hey, I'm not going to do any harm while I'm in there. He is careful, Kevin. Well, you know, family is one thing, Miguel, to have a family member visit your home. But when you have a friend in from out of town... Family is one thing. A friend is different. I had a friend in that's the most high-maintenance friend that I've ever had in my life. It's a girl? No, it's a guy. He's a 40-year-old male guy. And I was doing the same thing. I was running him around. I had to buy him cashews. And this is the thing that gets me about that situation and all of you that are listening right now that have been through the same thing is you go, whoever the person in question is.
They know you. They know you. They know I want to lay home and watch football. They know I don't want to go up to Mount Soledad. I almost lost it one time. And you were there, Woods. I almost lost it one time. We went to Disneyland. And while we were at Disneyland, I've got all these gastrointestinal issues. And I was getting sick. Woods said at one point to me, he goes, dude. You look green. You were green. I was green. You came back and you were green and ashen. And sweating and just, you know, and I'd probably gotten sick four or five times. And I'm feeling terrible. And we're leaving. And I'm in the front seat. And Woods was really cool and said, dude, I'll drive. I got this. Which I thought was so nice. So Woods is driving. I'm in the passenger seat. My brother, Steve. Directly behind me. I put the seat back a little bit. A little bit. I mean, a little bit. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ow, my foot. Dude. Dude. That's what he did. My friend Mike. I almost came unhinged. He did. He goes, you can give me some space back here. He's going to move. I'm like.
I'm green. Yes. I'm green. As a dog. I've been throwing up. I've been out at Disneyland all day long. Whoa, whoa. Yeah. The major overreaction. Oh, man. The major overreaction. And we'd been there for 14 hours. The spring in my head that holds all the marbles in. That was it. It almost. Just about. The marble stayed. That SLB was frayed, though. It was frayed. The spring was stretched as far as it would go. It was stretched so far. It was white. It was about to go up. All that said, I can't wait until he comes back. That's the weird thing. I can't wait until he comes back. I love it when he's here. But he'll drive me Lulu, and I'll drive him Lulu. When I'm at my parents' house, I can't wait to go. I can't wait to go. The night before I fly out, I'm like, oh, sad. I'm going to leave tomorrow. I ran for the airport. Well, dude, you had the worst Christmas. I just don't go home anymore.
They come here. It's a good plan. Sometimes that's a bad bit though, dude. Sometimes that can be bad. They come and they do stuff that's weird. You go into your guest room or wherever they were showering and there's like some new drapery that's in there. That doesn't bother me. They get their own car so I don't have to haul them everywhere. Oh, they never do. You just tell them, hey, you need to get a car. The hauling around and the entertaining. I am too old to entertain these days. You get held hostage. I'm not in college anymore. Yeah, you're hostage. L-O-B. That's it. In your own home. She's so right. In your own home. And you can't negotiate your way out of it. You can get the greatest negotiator ever to be like, Look, let's talk this through. He'll give this. He'll give that. If I don't go to the meditation gardens, then I've got to listen to it all day. You put together a plan that includes stuff you want to do. Hey, we're going to go to the beach, which means I'm going to go surf. Hey, we're going to go do this, which means I want to go hike. I think mine's going to be Xanax and Jack Daniels for now, and I think for every freaking Christmas or holiday. I'm telling you. I don't want to go to the beach. Oh, yeah, you do. It's going to be beautiful. Yeah, you do. How about this one? I never get that. Let's go to SeaWorld. Let's go to the zoo, man.
Yeah. You always got to be going somewhere? Yes. Hey, ask Becca if she wants to go to the wild animal park. She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. I'm going to ask her. Don't ask her. Don't. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Excellent job. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This report brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it, decide, tell them at facebook.com.
Okay, freeways, they got kind of busy. We've got a problem here on the 15th South on South Wabash Boulevard. Off-ramp still blocked right now due to an accident. Some delays on the 94 westbound, the 5 south to 28 streets from 12 to 25 miles an hour. Big stretch here on the 805 northbound. You've got some backup from Balboa Avenue swinging all the way up to about Governor Drive. Governor Drive is okay. It's 53 miles an hour, but everything else underneath that's in the teens to 31 miles. This report brought to you by Check into Cash. Check into Cash will guarantee the lowest rate on title loans. Ask about their $50 cash back offer. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance lender's law license. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hello, friends. Are you keeping all your New Year's resolutions? Well, this is Tim Piles, and I am the host of The Local 94.9, a great show, if I do say so myself. It airs every Sunday night, 8 p.m., and it's all about local music. Now, I'm filling in for Hillary on the concert calendar. She returns tomorrow.
I just want to tell you quickly about a few awesome shows I think you should go to. Wednesday night tomorrow, Dick Dale at the Belly Up Tavern. Also at the Belly Up on Friday, you have Pato Banton. It should be a great show. How about Mr. Ed from Live at Saquon on Saturday, January 7th? Are you a fan of Live? You might want to go see Ed up close and personal. Also, we've got the two dates with NoFX, January 9th and 10th, both going down at the House of Blues. And the Wailers, they're coming to town January 11th at the House of Blues. And let's see, let's talk about the Casbah real quickly. January 12th, there's a cool show there. Beautiful View is having their CD release party, Lady Dotting the Diamonds, also on that, Bill. If you need to know more, well, you can call me on my show any Sunday because I know a lot about local music. But always check out the concert calendar. Tune in to Hillary's show and everything else we do here at FM 94.9. But most important, get off your butt and support some music. See ya. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute.
Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement, and financial aid is available to those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. At Romano's Macaroni Grill, the ladies are back for their usual table. 25 new menu items and all their classic favorites. While the pan-roasted pork chop might be juicy, the gossip is even juicier. It's something new, something classic, on the new menu at Romano's Macaroni Grill. Hi, this is L.O.B., and it's a new year, a new you, and Ovation Cell Therapy is your resolution solution. Hey, L.O.B., don't forget about the fellas out there, like your old pal Woodsy, who is now using Ovation. I use the Men's Max Pack, and I started using Ovation because my wife Jamie was using it, my friend L.O.B. was using it, and I was like, you guys' hair looks so... good. It looks so healthy. And in the wintertime, your hair can get dry and break. And I want good hair. I'm sorry. I want to look good. Who doesn't? I can't blame you. And you too can have thicker, stronger, longer, and more healthy hair. What you got to do is hurry and log on to OvationHair.com. Be sure to enter FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. That's right.
Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. Did you get everything you wanted this holiday season? Now you can get yourself the gift you really wanted, plus 5% cash back. Open an SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa Platinum and get 5% cash back on all qualified purchases through February 1st. It's really easy. Cash rewards are posted to your credit card account monthly. There are no hoops to jump through. The SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa offers low rates and no annual fee. Unlike many of the big banks, there is no limit on the cash rewards you can earn. Plus, ask about their low introductory rate on balance transfers. You can apply for your new SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa Platinum Card online at SDCCU.com. Hurry! The 5% cash back offer is good for a limited time only. Apply and start earning cash back on your purchases today. San Diego County Credit Union. It's not big bank banking. It's better. Subject to credit approval. Rates and terms subject to change. Rebate credited to your balance each billing cycle. Cash advances. Convenience checks, balance transfers, and refunded purchases are not eligible purchases. Visit SDCCU.com for details. Federally insured by NCUA. It's often said, home is where the heart is. Lovely sentiment. But I actually have a better one. Home is where the savings is. Because it's never been easier to have us help you switch your homeowner's insurance to GEICO and start saving. What with a little help from my friends at GEICO, home is where the savings is. Indeed. I have that cross-stitched actually on a throw pillow on my sofa.
Really brings the room together. Call Geico today. You could save even more when Geico helps you with your homeowner's insurance. My wife's monthly trip to the beauty salon was really adding up. I mean, between dying her roots and trimming the dead ends, we were going dead broke. So to save some money, I'm cutting it for her while she sleeps. No, no, no, don't wake up yet. Go to sleep, go to sleep. You're almost gorgeous. Oh, she is going to love this. There's an easier way to save. Get online. Go to Geico.com. Get a quote. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. What's in your drawers? An old iPod Touch can be worth up to $180 when you sell it to GameStop. Go to GameStop.com slash itrades for details. It's a Mikey show. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. It's L-O-B. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Nicole. So some of the... Big movies that you can expect for 2012 are The Dark Knight Rises, July 20th. I'm in on those. Yeah, those are cool. Christopher Nolan directed them. It's the one that Heath Ledger was in. The only thing that I don't like is Christian Bale playing Batman. What about it? What's your frigging problem with that? Maybe you lighten up. Wow, I'm trying to save Metropolis.
How about The Amazing Spider-Man, Woods? Will you see The Amazing Spider-Man? Is it Tobey Maguire? I believe it is. If it is, then I'm out. Worst casting ever. It's got to be. The worst casting ever. No, it's not Tobey Maguire. It's Andrew Garfield. Ah, Andrew Garfield. This is an Andrew Garfield vehicle. I don't know why they booted me from Spider-Man. I'm such a manly guy. The Avengers comes out May 4th. Captain America was good. I didn't see it. Of course not. You'd probably like it if you did. Iron Man, you seen that? Yeah, I loved it. See? I like Robert Downey Jr. Man, you also like girls, which means that you wouldn't think you would like Iron Man, but you did. Iron Man could happen. Oh, boy. Could really happen. I'm in on that. It could happen on that. Spider-Man? Yeah. No. Well, Tobey Maguire is what threw me off that one. You won't watch the Avengers, but you've seen the Twilight movies. I've only seen one and a half of them. Have you? You've seen them all. I've seen one and a half. I saw them all. And liked them all.
I haven't. So Feast, you enjoyed them and you got caught up in them like I knew you would. I've only seen one and a half of them. Now you have a Bella t-shirt on. Yes. I don't have a Bella t-shirt. It's Edward. I don't have an Edward t-shirt. Yeah, you do. He's Team Bella. Oh, he is Team Bella. Well, that's the other big movie coming out, Breaking Dawn Part 2. It's the last one, I think, right? They're just stretching it out as long as they can. Yes. Smart. The last book will take two movies to cover. Just dangling it. Yeah. Much like Jay on a golf course dangling it and stretching it out as long as it can go. Yeah. That's how Jay goes to the bathroom. On the golf course. Or anywhere. He likes to stretch it away from his pants. I really like to do that. He does. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. All right. Fine. Maybe you don't like it, but you do it. But you do. Only have Wood's word. Oh. Yeah, that's it. It's as good as gold, pal. It makes more sense than your story. Your story is that you were not stretching, that you were pushing back. The khakis. The khakis. That doesn't make any sense. Why doesn't it? It doesn't make sense. Because you don't have a... I'm in protection mode. You would pull it away. No, I'd push the material back. That's not what you did. And it wasn't both hands. It was one hand, really. It was like this. I think the other hand had your vat of scotch in it. That could be true.
Brought from home. Brought from home. Absolutely. Moonshine. They were giving that step away for free. So this was Anderson Cooper on New Year's Eve with his friend Kathy Griffin. And welcome back. We are live in Times Square. It is getting close to time. About 12 minutes left until the New Year. We're very excited here. We're going to be bringing you all the festivities here. Oh, my Lord. Are you kidding me? We just saw Lady Gaga. Are you kidding me? She was standing there in her bra and panties. I saw Lady Gaga and I just thought... Are you freaking kidding me? Why? I swear, I'm literally talking to you guys and I turn around. Why can't we do a block rhyme in my underwear? Where's the sign? Where's the sign? It's not nude. I have... Look at it. Please, look at the snow. They had made a sign for the audience for television. The producers of Anderson Cooper 360 had made signs that said no nudity.
Because they didn't want people in the audience to flash and do stuff like that. It's live television. Look at the sign. Seriously. Lady Gaga's performance is over and I was inspired. He loves to be tickled. He loves to be tickled. Not only is he not like women, but that... That woman? That's... You don't want to see that. You're a rockin' body, by the way. By the way, my microphone is off and everything. I don't even know what's happening. I'm assuming it's the crucial thing. They just run out of celebrities? I love how you're just, like, standing here, like, as if. I'm just, like, crimping, and I'm completely dressed. Ugh. I wonder if they made out. I doubt it. No, I think he likes. Hmm. You never know. Last year, that was their bit. Yeah. They did their deal. They did? She's like, Anderson, just come out. Yet another reason I don't watch Dick Clark. That wasn't. That's a different bit. Oh, it's a different one. Yeah, that was Anderson Cooper. Oh, it's his bit. That was CNN. Whatever. That's another reason I don't watch stupid countdown shows. You make any resolutions? Yeah. Yes. Lose one. Yeah, of course. This freaking spare tire around my gut.
It's got to go. It's got to go. I looked at my face this morning in the mirror and I went, oh my gosh. People were taking pictures on New Year's Eve and I looked at the pictures and I was like, this is, it's out of hand. It's out of hand. It's gotten out of hand. It's gotten out of hand with me too. It's ridiculous. It's been out of hand. Yeah, it's been. You can't even get it in your hand anymore. That's how out of hand it is. It won't fit in your hand. It won't fit in your hand. You just can't reach it. I'm starting to lose visibility on the old wiener, so it's time to get right. Definitely want to see that. Yeah. You want to be able to locate that guy. Thanks, Woods. You bet. Losing visibility. Thank you. It's getting a little... Remember, you already said that. Yeah. Remember that? Just kind of can't really see it. Well, I'm not going to drink coffee anymore. That's my new bit. Oh, boy. Oh, great. I'm going to drink tea. What are you resolving to do? That's why I don't like resolutions. What are you resolving? You're resolving to stop something. Be healthier. To do something. I'm going to be healthier. How can you be healthier? That's so vague. No. The new year brings a new beginning. Oh, does it? Doesn't it? You can start over any time. Every day you should be improving yourself. It's true. The resolution. She's right. Sure. What better time than the beginning of the year? Everyone gives up on them. They start these grandiose, like, I'm going to do this, and no one ever does it. Sorry, LLB's right. I read a great article in Men's Health over the break that said, listen, if you start.
Slow at the gym. My problem is I always try to go balls out and I go five days a week for about two weeks and then I don't go for three months. I'm going to work out three days a week. If I can't work out three days a week, I'm an idiot. If fat guys were the end thing, I'd be a supermodel. Oh, me and you both. I mean the most highly sought after model. You'd need security around you. Security around you. If things reversed and it was like in, was short and fat, I would be on a runway. There's no question. And just so highly in demand. Somebody like Jay, people would be like, poor guy. You know, back in the day, way, way, way back, fat people were in because it means they had money, they could eat. It's still like that in Mexico, actually. Well, maybe we should move to Mexico. Oh, you would kill it down there.
And I could be your right-hand man, and we would just do our thing. True story. Yeah. Wow. What do you mean, what? I don't know what you're talking about. You put Peter Cetera, glory of love. Amen. Don't be told about it. Amen. E-Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This report brought to you by Chapstick. Chapstick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than sherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it, decide, tell them at facebook.com slash chapstick.
Well, we've got a little bit of slowing here, especially as you travel on to the 805 northbound. Looks like 32nd Street Adams Avenue is about 34 miles an hour. There's an accident here on the 805 northbound right before the 8 east. And one of the cars is in the center divider, other over on the right shoulder. Looks like the 805 northbound as you travel on the 52 east to Balboa Avenue. That's between 29 and 15 miles an hour. Some delays off the 8 westbound Lake Jennings Park Road. That's about 30 miles an hour. Report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us, now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. We all know the economy has taken a downturn in recent years. How has it affected you? Making less money? Unsure of what you will be doing in the next year and beyond? California College San Diego can help you make the light at the end of the tunnel a bit brighter. The Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts 26% of all new jobs.
created in the U.S. economy now through 2018, will be in the healthcare industry. Want to know where the good-paying jobs are and what they pay? At California College San Diego, they put together a free short brochure called Today's Jobs, Where They Are, and What They Pay. Call and give them your email address, and they'll send you this free report. Find out about today's hottest job opportunities. Call California College San Diego at 1-800-390-6489. That's 1-800-390-6489. 1-800-390-6489. If you want 2012 to be the last time you make weight loss your New Year's resolution, call 1-800-GET-THIN now. If you need to lose 15 pounds or over 100 pounds, 1-800-GET-THIN can help with customized medical weight loss treatments. Call 1-800-GET-THIN to attend a free weight loss seminar today. A weight loss specialist will work with you to develop a custom program that fits your needs. Choose from the latest medical weight loss options to help you achieve your goals. Your weight loss program may be covered by insurance. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now for a free insurance verification and get started today. Lose the weight and make your New Year's resolution a reality with the help of 1-800-GET-THIN.
Call 1-800-GET-THIN to attend a free weight loss seminar today. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now. That's 1-800-953-5000. You can get in line or charge ahead. Blend in or break through. Settle or unleash. If you believe in challenging the status quo instead of accepting it, then your car is waiting. Infiniti. With more daring designs, more powerful engines, and world's firsts, like a round view monitor and blind spot intervention system, Infiniti challenges everything a luxury car can be. Consider this your cry of defiance. Infiniti. Inspired performance. Infiniti is also challenging what a lease offer can be. At the Limited Engagement Winter Event, take the 2012 G25 sedan.
Just $2.99 a month for 39 months with $32.98 initial payment due at signing. Tax, title, license, and options extra. For lease details, call 800-545-8849 or visit infinityusa.com. Offer ends January 3rd. See retailer for details. It's Pepper Jack and I'm back and I'm better than Cheddar. Bringing heat to the meat like it's wearing 10 sweaters. I can make a mouth water in the hottest of desserts. Spicy kick to your lips, you're gonna love it forever. The new under 500 calorie Santa Fe turkey burger from Carl's Jr. With green chili, pepper jack cheese and Santa Fe sauce. It's turkey remixed with the perfect amount of heat. And that's just the way it is. Hi, I'm Chris, a 24 Hour Fitness membership counselor. And I'm Sarah, and I just joined 24 Hour Fitness. There's something different going on here. We're calling it the fitness revolution. Sounds big, but it's actually pretty simple. You get so much value for the money.
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That's 1-800-644-8667. The gift of driving is getting super gas mileage without compromising performance. Believe me, that does exist at Bob Baker Mazda. Visit now and save during the gift of driving sale at BobBakerMazda.com, Car Country, Carlsbad. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Mikey's show's keeping new hours. Mikey's show is now on from 5.30 a.m. to 9. And by the way, at 9 o'clock, you're going to get something real good.
34 minutes of commercial-free rock. Bam! How about that? Did you hear about the car fires, the arson in L.A.? Crazy. Gnarly. Stupid. It was worldwide news, man. Yeah, man. Huge story. 50 cars. And, of course, the cars would catch on fire. Then they set houses on fire. Of course. Well, they arrested someone. Good. Turns out it was a... 24-year-old kid. And his name is Harry Burkhart. You don't meet a lot of 24-year-old Harrys. No, you don't. But anyway, they pulled him over in a traffic stop. They think he's going to have more charges than just arson. He's being held without bail. And the arrest was made after a sheriff said he stopped his van.
Because it matched the description from witnesses. 52 fires. What a little jackhole. $3 million in damage. Wow. Just walking around setting fires. You know, you ask yourself, well, the psychology, what's the deal? I was a kid. We lived in Connecticut. There was a lot of old abandoned, like... houses and farms, and we used to break stuff in them. You were a kid. We were a kid. We were like 15, you know, 14. Yeah, 24 is not a kid. No, he's jacked up. Without showing you what the answer is, what do you guys think is the worst part of flying? The weights and the lines and everything for me. The germs. According to a study that was done, it's get in the middle seat. Oh, that sucks. You're right. That sucks. Why don't they do 2-2-2? Yeah, 2-2-2-2. 2-2-2. 2-2-2 is brilliant. You've got to have three on one side. On the Super 80s you do. Why do you need three? Because otherwise there's all that extra space. They've got to fit as many people in as possible. But 2-2-2 is still six seats. Yeah. It's just two aisles. The aisles would take up much more space. You know what else they say?
is the couple that can't keep their hands off each other. I haven't seen too much of that. I don't either. Which I'm in on. I do that all the time. I like to cuddle on the plane. Yeah, but maybe not third base or something on there. Kiss all you want. Woods, I don't think third base was a... I'm thinking just like a bushel and a peck. Yeah, I think that most people were thinking kissing. I was thinking home run. I was just thinking third base. Mile high. Snoring. Yeah, it'll get you. Had one of those. It's awful. I can't help it, but you want to plug it up. Number two was a tie between the people that hog the armrest and annoying babies or kids. Doesn't bother me. What do you mean? I have earphones, so I put on my headphones. I'm good to go. I can usually tune the babies out.
The armrest guy deserves a punch in the face. Yeah, I am the armrest guy, unfortunately. First one there gets it. Yeah, that's kind of my rule, too. First one there gets it. Everyone gets their own. No, because there's one. Okay, so there's... You have to share in the middle. The middle guy, what is he going to do? Screwed. You're the middle guy, you're screwed. The middle guy gets screwed. He gets both. When my brother Steve flew out here on Southwest from Phoenix, a hot girl fell asleep on his shoulder. Brilliant. Man, lucky. Do you know what he considered? What? He's going to kill me. He considered taking his iPhone and doing his self picture. But he knew if he did, she would wake up to creep and then be like, what are you? That's in jail. He's in jail. He used good judgment. What is she doing, though, falling asleep on his shoulder? She's tired. She's slumped. Come on. I had the loud talker behind me. The whole flight from San Diego to Dallas. But what's interesting about the loud talker that I had, and I don't mean loud, I mean the scream talker, is that his voice was 70 octaves higher than a normal man. And his conversation was about his entire family's medical history. Oh, wow. To a stranger? To a stranger. So it sounded something like this. My Aunt Betty, she fell, she broke her hip.
And then Janine had knee surgery. And Jim has gallstones. And I'm talking through. I can hear it through my deal. And every, through my headphones. And every couple minutes, Jamie would look at me and shake her head. Because I would start laughing. Because he would be like, yeah. And then my aunt, she fell. And she broke her knee. And I mean, then the lady that he was talking to, she'd forgotten her cell phone. Right. So she asked Hightalker if she could borrow his. So then we land. This is we taxi up to the gate. And this is what we get. Hey, I left my cell phone at your house. I'm calling from a stranger's. Did you find it? She's screaming. And I'm like, oh, God, get me off the plane. Oh, gosh. Flying is the worst. It's the worst. Because you're going to meet weird, rude. I'm never traveling. I hate the person that pretends like they're like, Is this zone three? Yep. What's that? Okay, so you're just going to step in now? Oh, the group. Yeah, they cut it. Line cutters. It's kind of like they don't know, and just because they're holding it, then they now get to go in front of you? No. Well, they're numbered.
Yes. Yeah, then absolutely you get to step in. No, no, no, no. You get to the back of Zone 3. You get to the back of Zone 3. And quit the pretending. Pretending. Coming in from the side is the worst. Coming in from the side. I'm confused. People come in off the wings. I'm just a caveman. I don't know what these groups and zones are. What's my ticket say? Oh, should I go here? Oh, is that... Oh, I must belong here. Am I in zone three? I'm in group three. You look him square in the face, you say yes, and then you box him out. Why are you boxing me out? I just want to get on the plane. I have a corn on my foot. Oh, I hate flying. I'm never traveling. I hate people. I'm okay with the plane. Here's the worst part for me. The worst part for me is... Vegas. Okay. Picture Vegas. Folks, there's three aircraft in front of us. Should be about five minutes. And then we'll be taking off. Will we? Half hour later. Oh, yeah. Oh, it seems to be a delay. I don't know what's going on. We got a delay, but we just talked to the tower, and they said that we should get things moving here pretty soon. So enjoy. Current temperature in San Diego is 78 degrees.
Oh, gosh. Warm day. Folks, I'm sorry about the delay. Meanwhile, all your electronics are off. Yes. Can't do anything. About 120 degrees in there. You've read Sky Mile 40 times or whatever the hell it's all. Sky Mall. Sky Mall. Oh, babe, we do need a shoe polisher. Shaped like a hush puppy. Worst, I was on the very back seat. because I was trying to get a seat together with my sister. On the very back, so I can't recline at all. Person in front of me, all the way back. You're right by the toilet, which is just awesome. Which is weird because I was sitting in the middle. So every time I tried to get up for the bathroom, there was a line for the bathroom. So I just had to be like, ugh. This lady on the plane got on the plane late. There was no storage overhead for her jacket and her laptop bag. Have you done this before lately? So what does she do? She walks 15 rows back, finds a spot, wedges it in. Then when that plane lands and everybody stands, she makes a beeline back for it. I'm sorry. You wait. You wait until everybody's on. You have to wait. You got it. If you put it behind you, you wait. Oh, man. I was giving her the, oh, oh, where's the fire bit? Plus, that's supposed to go under your seat. Yeah. They tell you that.
The lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next. And ladies and gentlemen, you will be enjoying 94 minutes of commercial free rock. It's coming up next. Mikey shows out.