The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/10/12
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Snoop Dogg weed arrestVan Halen Tattoo songWoods' onion dip recipeM1 Ninja missed connection metaphorIvy nightclub missed connectionOceanside open carry demonstrationCalifornia open carry banCasey Anthony video controversyJay Z and Beyonce hospital floor rentalMikey's text love confessionsnoop dogg weedvan halen tattoo
The show opened with hosts reacting to Snoop Dogg's weed arrest, then segued into previewing Van Halen's new song 'Tattoo.' Woods delighted listeners with his Lipton onion dip recipe, while M1 Ninja called in to liken the prior episode to a fresh steaming turd wrapped in a bow. Later, M1 Aaron shared a detailed missed‑connection story from the Ivy nightclub, and a series of open‑carry segments featured Jeremy baiting Oceanside police, Tom explaining California's new ban on unloaded pistol carry, and Eric defending the practice as a check on government power. The episode closed with Mikey's personal anecdote about texting his first 'I love you' to Rebecca.
What happened, in order
Snoop Dogg Weed Arrest
Hosts react to the news that Snoop Dogg was arrested for marijuana possession, calling the charge weird and hoping he's okay.
M1 Ninja's Turd Metaphor
Caller M1 Ninja describes the previous show as a fresh steaming turd wrapped in a bow, urging the hosts to keep trucking despite the mess.
Woods' Texas Onion Dip
Woods enthusiastically shares his Lipton onion dip recipe, insisting it's the real deal and saying it blew his mind.
Aaron's Ivy Nightclub Missed Connection
M1 Aaron recounts his New Year's Eve encounter at the Ivy nightclub, detailing his meeting with a woman he initially thought was Kara/Sarah but turned out to be Jasmine, exchanging numbers and hoping for a date.
Oceanside Open Carry Confrontation
Retired Marine Jeremy walks around Oceanside with an empty .40 caliber pistol to bait police, discussing his rights and the legality of open carry with Officer Lyons.
Tom on Open Carry Ban
M1 Tom explains California's new law banning the open carry of unloaded pistols, noting that rifles can still be carried openly and framing the issue as a civil liberties concern.
Eric's Open Carry Rationale
M1 Eric argues that open carry protects against government overreach, stresses the need for licensing, and criticizes the loophole that prevents police from checking carriers' backgrounds.
Mikey's First Text Love
Mikey shares that he told Rebecca he loved her for the first time via a text message, describing the moment as heady and gritty drama.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayNicoleSnoop DoggCalvin BroadusCasey AnthonyJose BaezJay-ZBeyonceBlue Ivy CarterM1 NinjaM1 Aaron
30,942 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome to it. What do you got? Today is, uh, what do you say, Tuesday? There's a lot going on in the news today that we're gonna get to. Something really, really weird happened. Snoop Dogg got arrested for weed. So strange. So weird. That is weird. Hope he's okay. Especially that charge of all charges. Of everything. Turned out it was weed. So we'll talk about it. We have a, uh, brand new phone system in here, too, that looks all sweet. Yeah. Real nice, real sweet. Yeah, squeaky wheel gets some grease, and we got greased up real good. Real good. So if you want to be one of the first people to call in and use our fancy phone system, 570-1949. We'll take your call. We'll put you on the air. And not only that, you'll get to hear Nicole, our phone screen. You'll get to talk to Nicole. Oh, yeah. Jay reached up to grab his microphone, turn his microphone on just so that he could do that.
He just couldn't contain himself. Can't control himself. See that? He's so excited he just went off a hundred meter diving board. Perfect ten. Yes. A perfect ten. No splash. No splash. Thankfully. Also, we're going to be playing a brand new Van Halen song called Tattoo. That's right. I can't wait for the other part to plant. Not about you, Tattoo. Yeah, it could be. How do you know? Maybe it is. I guess I don't. I guess I don't. You're right. Fair enough. They are a band from the 80s where that show, Fantasy Island, was a big hit. You know that when you assume you make a nice out of you and out of me. I guess we're in good company. What's your favorite Van Halen song? Jump. Really? At all. That's it. It's been a lot of time jumping.
What do you say? I mean, it's true. I thought you were more of an ice cream man guy. Did you really think that I was more of an ice cream? I'm your ice cream man. Stop me when you pass me by. Just looked at Nicole. She had no idea what that was. No idea what ice cream man from Van Halen is all about. That's too bad. That's too bad. So we'll play the new, you know, David Lee Roth and Van Halen. They've gotten back together. They're going to tour. Oh, yeah. Thank goodness. And it's going to be Eddie Van Halen's son Wolfgang on bass. And you're going to hear brand new music that they've recorded. That's cool. I'm all the way in. I'm going to go to the show. I'm going to go see him. I'm all the way in. You have to. I'll drive to L.A. if I have to. I'm going to see Van Halen. Wow. Yeah. Give you two seconds of it. Maybe not. Maybe I don't. Good luck. Assuming you will not be taking said road trip with me. Have a blast. Be sure to allow time for traffic. Oh, but they're going to do all their classics. Yeah, they will. They'll throw a couple of garbage songs in, but man, they're going to do their classics. Is there anything worse than going to see a band like that that you've loved for so long, and then they're like, hey, we're going to do a few off our new record, and that's when you're like, I'm going to go get some Coors Lights. I'll see you later.
We'll be back. It's worse when they change up the original song. And it's like, what are you doing? M1 Ninja from Encinitas. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Good morning, guys. Good morning to you. Yes, I was just going to call because yesterday was an interesting show. And I think that it wasn't a bad show at all because it really helps the M1s relate to the Mikey show because we all have days where things don't exactly go the right way. Yeah, well. If by interesting show, you mean a big, heaping, steaming turd. Yep. Fresh. Then, yes. A fresh, steaming turd. Yes. No. Then, yes. You're right. It was a very interesting show. Wrapped in a bow, just for you. That's right. A fresh, steaming turd wrapped in a bow. Covered in burnt hair. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It was not bad at all. Hideous. It helped us see what happens when the Mikey show gets a little frustrated and you guys just kept on moving on. And that's all you can do when stuff like that happens. Keep on trucking. True story. We're going to make up for it today because we got good material today. I'll tell you that. Awesome. Well, have a great show and we'll be listening. All right. Thank you, Ninja. Great pipes on her. Snuck right in there. Hey, Ninja, are you still there? I'm here. Why do you call yourself M1 Ninja? It actually derived from...
I don't know if you guys watch 30 Rock. Yeah. But I love Tracy Morgan. He cracks me up. And he has a poster in his training room that says, Who Dat Ninja? I don't know why. It's just really, I love it. And Ninja's pretty awesome. Yeah, it's true. That's crazy. Exactly. There you go. There you go. Well, thank you, Ninja. All right. Love you guys. Love you. Love you. I love you. I mean, in a listener way. Yeah. In the way that a talk show host would love a listener. Not in a beautiful girl with a nice, sexy voice kind of way. How would I know? You know what? If she's a beautiful girl. I know because I've met her several times. Oh, then you know. I don't know. Yep. Have I met her? I think y'all have. I love you. So I love you, but I don't know you. That's okay. LOP's giving me a look right now like, yeah, keep digging it. Keep it up. Keep it up, pal. You watch your wife slit your throat. She's like, I guess your wife, Rebecca's not up this early, is she, Mike? No. Guess we play things a little different, Mike, when we're rolling at 5.30 a.m., huh? Taking notes from Jay. Yeah, safe harbor, we call it. Yeah, safe harbor. When our missuses don't listen. Missuses. Missuses. That's right. You know who doesn't have that problem? You don't. Nope.
Stay unmarried and you can say whatever you want. They say whatever you want. Stop it. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. No consequences. Now, your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, isn't listening right now either, is he? No, he'd be asleep. He'd be asleep. Yeah. But I don't have a safe harbor. Just no filter. Just like tap water. Well, he did not ask the big question. Right. And so since he's not awake right now, I can say that we didn't like it. We wanted to kick him right in the nuts. So there you go. That sentiment was probably shared with a few people in my family. If by a few, you mean every one of them, then yeah. I bumped into an M1 yesterday and said he is ready to go. Oh, what do you mean? Yeah, anytime you're ready. He is all in. And he is a hunk of hunk of loving man. Sock after the show. PM me his name and number for you. PM me. So you know how we were talking about Jay-Z yesterday and how him and Beyonce, his wife, rented out an entire floor of the hospital that they just had their baby Blue Ivy at? Yes. They paid $1.3 million to rent out the floor. Well, there's a guy that's kind of upset about it. He's a 38-year-old dude. Him and his wife had a baby, and he was kind of mad because he didn't. Now, these are his words, okay?
He says he was repeatedly barred from the sixth floor neonatal intensive care unit once for 20 minutes by their private security. Wow. Oh, shut up. He had twins, didn't he? Yeah. He had twins. Oh. And he was barred from seeing these preemie. No. Yes. Yes. Twins. He was barred from seeing these premature twins because of the bodyguards. Wow. Gosh. And he says that it caused a lot of stress for him and his wife. I don't blame him. A lot of stress. You know, when our twins were born, Ryan was in the intensive care. And if they didn't let me see Ryan because some jackholes rented it. And hired their own security. Take yourself back to that day, Mike. Yeah. It was a crazy, hectic day. You're tired. You're a little scared. Someone goes, excuse me, sir, Jay-Z and Beyonce are having a baby. They rented this floor. What? What? Yeah, you can't come up here. You can't come past me. You can't see your son. This is the VIP floor. I would lose my mind. Yeah, this is VIP. Are you on the list? Are you on the list? Where's your credential? Show me the list. You don't have a credential, sir. You have the wrong color credential. Oh, my gosh. Monster. Pretty crappy, isn't it? Yeah, that's weak. Well, Jay-Z recorded a song, and apparently it's about his daughter.
I get it. You're still, you got your street cred because you said the most beautifulest. Beautifulest. You didn't say beautiful. You used improper grammar. It's ironic. You're credible. Yeah. Still credible. You're still credible because you didn't say beautiful. You said beautifulest. Yeah. Which makes me know that you're still, even though you have $1.3 million to spend to rent out the floor. of a hospital, you still have good credibility on the street.
He's a good singer. Yeah, he's a good MC. I like how when he gives a shout-out to his daughter, he then adds the S happens. Yeah. When he plays that back for her. Well, there's nothing like a good curse word for a love song. Yeah, a love song for a kid. And a tribute. Yeah. You know? Thanks, Daddy. Do you picture him being like, Beyonce's in the bed, and she's sweating. You know, she's got Dawn's giving birth. He's like, you okay, boo? Because I got to hit the studio real quick. I got something I got to get down. I got to get down right now. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll forget. If I don't go in there right now and lay this down, I'm going to forget it. I've got to go. Okay, go ahead. I've got to get this out, and I've got to get it out to the public. Are they named her Blue Ivy? Yeah, or Ivy Blue, Blue Ivy. There's some disparaging reports. I don't know. There's different reports that say Blue Ivy or Ivy Blue, but I think, I don't know. Blue Ivy Carter. Blue Ivy Carter, yeah. It's pretty. But they don't think about.
She's got to have that name. Yeah. My name's Blue. Hi, Blue. I don't know. That's pretty cool. Blue? Blue's kind of sexy. Blue Ivy. You just go by Blue Ivy. Yeah, she won't go by Blue. She'll go by Blue Ivy, I would think. Yeah. That's like a stripper's name. That's fair enough. I'm glad that Jay-Z's not here to hear that. Yeah. Because he would have you in some sort of a gangsta chokehold. I guess so. You know what I'm saying? Next on the main stage, Blue Ivy. Give her a big Texas hell yeah. Some chicken wings. You know, we love orange soda. Woods, when you say give him a big Texas hell yeah, that only applies to the folks in Texas. Yeah, I know. They don't say it everywhere. It's from my youth. I know, but they don't say that everywhere. Let's give her a big Texas hell yeah. But they only say that in Texas. I know. I know. Woodsy sometimes gets confused. He thinks that either everything happens there. No, you're not confused. He thinks everything happens there. For instance, yesterday he said to me. Oh boy, the ranch bit. Yesterday he said to me, off the air. Which is what made it more gorgeous. He said to me, off the air. Mike, have you ever had like the real ranch dressing?
And my ears went, like, this is going to be good. Because I haven't, I know I haven't. Because all I've had is the stuff out of the bottle or the packet. Right. Yeah. You never had the real deal. I haven't had the real thing. I haven't had the real thing. So please do go on. So I said, no, do tell. And he says, yeah, dude, I'm talking like Hidden Valley Ranch packet. With cold buttermilk. With cold buttermilk. That's how you do it. And I said, I bet you've never had it. I bet you've never had it like that. I bet you've only had it out of the bottle. I bet. No, no, no. I actually have. And the reason I have, I'm an American. Yes. And in the United States of America, every human being has had a carrot stuck into a bowl. From the bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch. I would bet, I'd bet my firstborn.
Fake child that you've never had the real deal. Well, you would lose that fake child. Because my Aunt Helen. Yeah. Okay, the second one. Lose number two. Yes, you'd lose the second one because my Aunt Helen used to rip open that packet of Hidden Valley. She used regular milk. She didn't use the buttermilk. I know it. And throw it into a white bowl with little green print around the side of it. Yep. My mom would take that mix and she would. Mix it into the fried chicken stuff, too. That's good stuff. So fantastic. I just got lightheaded. Yeah, it was good. From the taste of fried chicken that's got Hidden Valley Ranch. Jamie pours it into the, when she makes taco soup, she pours about half that little packet in the taco soup. What's taco soup? It's like ground beef, corn, tomatoes. Oh, it's another Texas thing. Gosh, that sounds good. That's from Texas. I've never heard of that. You've never heard of taco soup? No. We still make it. Taco soup's delicious. My favorite line from all of that yesterday was L.O.B. saying, have you ever had Woods' carrots? Hey, Woods, will you make your carrots? Will you make your carrots? Will you make your famous carrots to go along with your famous Hidden Valley Ranch dip? I'm bringing it to your Super Bowl party. I am bringing it.
You'll only be the fourth guy to bring it that day. You might want to allow some extra time to make it. I'm going to make you guys, I'm going to blow your mind, I'm going to make onion dip. Oh? Yeah. Onion dip. It's really good. Back in Texas, Mike, you ever been to Texas and had onion dip? Onion dip. No. You haven't had Texas onion dip? No. What's it like? They take this thing called French's. Sounds good. No, they take this thing called Lipton. It comes in a package. It comes in a package. It's called Lipton. And you mix it with sour cream. It's delicious. It's the real deal. It's the real deal. I'll give you the recipe. Yeah, it's the real deal. That got me yesterday in a way that I haven't been got. I was telling my wife Jamie about it, and I go, you know, babe, the best part was when the guy called in and he goes, hey, Woods, you realize that Hidden Valley is in California. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It was fantastic. Fantastic. So Jose Baez, that's Casey Anthony's attorney. He says that YouTube video of her was not released by her and that he's very, very upset that it's out there at all. She was acquitted of the charges that were.
post against her and uh she should be able to go on with her life and i i think this is outrageous that this is happening i think it's it's criminal and if it is uh we're going to ask that it be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law he says he thinks it's criminal and then says if it is right doesn't make a lot of sense yeah how might somebody get something like that yeah How do they get that? Maybe she sent it to one person and then he decided to broadcast it? Yeah. I mean, it would have to be somebody she knows. Or hacked her account. Well, and by the way, it was like a video diary. Yeah, it was a diary. Who's she making it for? Herself? Well, apparently it was part of her, she's doing counseling. And apparently that was part of like her therapy. Was to look into a camera? Was to make these video diaries. And a camera, like, how about a diary diary? I guess that's why she was utilizing technology. What's the point of immortalizing it on camera? Why wouldn't you just write down your feelings? You know, I don't know. I've been in a therapist's office and had to take a rubber bat and hit a chair before. So you never really know what this is. It's a true statement. So I don't really know why they would tell you to do something. Did it work? No. The rubber bat didn't work?
It was a stick with one of those foam things on the end, and I had to beat a chair with it. I was like, what am I doing? We used to pretend like the chair was your problem. Yes, so it was Mikey. Something like that. This was me. This was years ago. Like I said, it was Mikey. It was supposed to be Mikey's head. Yeah. Beating the chair. Pretend that's a bald dome. Just beat it up. Sir, you broke the bat five minutes ago. And it's rubber. I don't care. I hate him. Mr. Woods. So who knows why they told her to do it, but, you know, it's cockamamie stuff. Should have told her to do it topless. That's a fair, that's a true statement. That is a true statement. Is it fair or is it true? It's both. It's both. It's both fair and true. Fair and true. And balanced. And balanced. It's a fair and true and balanced statement. It's not true, actually. That's untrue because one breast is larger than the other. Could be. Well, maybe. Fair and unbalanced. Fair and unbalanced. Also the fact that she may or may not have killed her daughter as part of the unbalanced statement. I think it's 100% she did. Not according to a jury of her peers. That's one way to stop it. Not enough evidence to convict. By it, I mean momentum. The fun. The boob talk. Someone had to do it. Somebody had to do it. The fun police.
I'm actually with L.O.B. on that one. You monsters. Sometimes it's just not funny. Sometimes it's just not funny. That's all you got to say. It's the uncomfortable moment. It's the uncomfortable moment. I had that running through my head the other day over and over and over again. It's the greatest. A lot of you may be wondering what it is. Beyonce went down into the audience of one of her concerts and walked along the... barricade that they had that separated her from her fans. Well, there was one middle-aged white woman who just wanted a chance at that microphone. Well, actually, that's not true. That's actually not true. Beyonce afforded her the opportunity to have the microphone. She didn't ask for it. In fact, she was startled by the fact that Beyonce was putting the microphone in her face and reacted instantly.
It's unbelievable. That was her chance. Yeah, she had her shot. Because Beyonce's walking real slow. She's going, and then she sticks it right in her face. She goes, come on, now it's your turn. Make that right. When we got that thing, I watched it no less than 75 times in a row. It's fantastic. It's so good. It's fantastic. All right, so we'll tell you who won the BCS championship last night. We'll give you the Coachella lineup. Details on Snoop Dogg's weed. Word of the day.
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And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. Woods said he ate a whole cantaloupe yesterday. It almost made me throw up. So good. Cantaloupe is so gross. When it's cold and it's juicy and it's fresh and sweet. That is an oxymoron. No. Cantaloupe, to me, smells spoiled. It doesn't matter what the situation is. It is fantastic. It is fantastic. Always smells spoiled to me. But you'll eat menudo. Yeah. Which smells like a turd. Yes. I will eat menudo. Sorry. Menudo. Menudo. Menudo. My wife does the same thing to me.
My wife is the whitest woman in the world, and I'm Mexican. And so I'll be talking to my dad, and I'll go, hey, are you coming over? You're bringing blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and I go, don't put any cilantro on it. And I get off the phone, and my wife goes, really with? Delandro. Delandro. And I'm like, sorry, sorry, sorry. Cilantro. Cilantro. Cilantro. That's a big thing for what you refer to yourself as a coconut. Yes, I'm brown on the outside, but I'm white on the inside. Yeah, but a lot of Mexican-American, non-Spanish-speaking Mexican-Americans will talk, you know, regular, and then when the Spanish words come, they're like, That's exactly right. That's how you say it.
I know it's the right way to say it. It's just funny that you don't speak any Spanish with those particular words. But boy, your inflection. No, I don't say tortilla. I say tortilla, but there are certain ones that you sound like a dummy. I feel like a dummy if I go guacamole. I feel like a dork. What about burrito? Come on. Shut up, Woods. Yeah, Woods. I say burrito. Don't you? No, he doesn't. You want a breakfast burrito? Burrito. I've never once. So why is that one okay, but cilantro, you have to say like freaking. Because it's pronounced guacamole. Guacamole. Nobody says guacamole. Well, I cannot. You do, right? Yeah. See, Nicole is part Mexican, and I cannot say guacamole. I feel like a dork. Just say guacamole. What about enchilada? Enchilada, I'll say that. But usually you say enchilada. Enchilada. Menudo. We'll play you this Van Halen song in a little bit. I'm telling you now, it's kind of dorky. By dorky, I mean... Come on, man. It's called Tattoo. Come on. Maybe it's just a bad intro. You know what's bad, too, is that that's the first song on the album, so that's the one they're like... That's the first single right there. This is going to be the good one.
Stamped it. So how bad is the rest of that record going to be? Gosh darn it. We'll see. We'll see. The word of the day is goldfish. So when we say goldfish, I'll weave that into a sentence between now and nine when I do. Caller number nine at 570-1949. You're going to get tickets to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This morning in the eight o'clock hour, I'm going to play you this audio. of what's going on in Oceanside. And I think that these dudes in Oceanside that are trying to get a rise out of the cops are doucheholios with a capital D. Gigantic doucheholios. And I'll tell you all about it. Woods, you might actually be on my side with this one. I will. Don't you mean doucheholios? Yes, doucheholios. I meant to say doucheholios. There you go.
He's playing Ike's ringtone, bro. Yeah, it's alarm. When someone breaks into his car, that's what you hear, dude. And when he opens his refrigerator up, too. Doorbell. When he reaches in the glove compartment. Smoke alarm. The only reason it would ever be smoking is because the peppers on the stove got too hot. Hey, Mikey, what's he saying when he says, Dad, right now, would urinate he'd be laughing so hard. When I was at Rubio's last Friday, I heard a gal talking to her friends, and they worked there, but they were on their break. And I heard,
I was getting lemonade. I was laughing so hard. That's what I grew up with. That's my Aunt Helen. I love it so much. I laughed so hard. In the refrigerator. I died. Why did you say it in Spanish? You're speaking Spanish. I love when you hear, even in Japanese, it'll be like, surfboard. It's the best. It's great. It's the best. I love it. We'll tell you the Coachella lineup in just a second. Woods, who won the BCS championship? Football is over in the college football ranks, and the Alabama Crimson Tide dominated LSU last night. They shut them out, 21-0.
Their defense was so good. LSU did not cross the 50-yard line until the fourth quarter. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it was unbelievable. That's a good football team, man. That's a really good football team. And 13-1 they finished their season. They were a good football team. But, boy, their offense was just terrible last night. Here is Alabama head coach Nick Saban after the win. We were just going to play one play at a time, finish each play. And regardless of what the circumstance was on the play before, have a... Sort of an I will not be denied attitude about how we'll play the next play. And I think that that spirit was sort of reflected out there in the way our players competed. It's a night I bet. They'll just never forget that feeling. This guy too. Nick Saban, dude. He's got three national titles under his belt. Relatively young guy. He won one for LSU. He's won two for Alabama. Oh, my. I mean, the guy's a freak. I said last night, I'm like, look, I'm a Notre Dame fan. I give the guy $20 million a year to coach. Just tomorrow. I'll be like, all right, we'll open the checkbook. Can you imagine? I mean, any program he goes to that he could do that. His schemes and defense. This is what I thought was really cool. They made a comment during the game. They said during the week of practice.
He did not look at the offense one time. He did not look at one offensive snap. All he did was coach up his defense. He's a defensive mind. He just left it to the coordinator. You guys figure out the offense. I'm right here. And his defense showed up last night, and they put it on LSU. Really? And I mean put it on them, dude. Held them to 92 yards of total offense. Oh, my. Gosh. I was reading people like, this game's boring. I'm like, oh, dude, you're crazy. This defense is so good. It was. It was field goals and one touchdown. Hey, man, when you see a defense that dominant, it's not boring. It's not boring. It's like a pitcher's duel, too. Sometimes you go to the ballpark and it's a 1-0 game. And, you know, I guess the casual fan is like, oh, God, that was terrible. But, you know, if you're a fan like me, I'll watch a 1-0 game any day. That's pretty awesome. But it was awesome. This doesn't seem like a good matchup. That's why they should be having playoffs. Well, I totally agree that I think there should be a playoff system in college football. But when it comes down to it, their last game was 9-6 in favor of LSU. They could not score a touchdown. So it was these just ridiculous defenses.
Jordan Jefferson was the quarterback for LSU, and he couldn't get out of his own way all night. He fumbled a couple snaps, and he was on his back most of the night. Here he is talking about their preparation. It was very tough. I mean, we put in a lot of work for this game. Alabama just had a great game plan for us, stopping our offense and moving the ball on our defense. So, I mean, we just fell short today. Alabama gave up nine touchdowns all season. Nine. All season long. Wow. Good team. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Yeah. I agree. It says it all. It was an awesome game. Awesome game, and now the football season's over. That sucks. You love Houston College football, man. Coachella lineup. Coachella for 2012, which, by the way, It's going to happen over two weekends. They've decided it's going to be two weekends. Because there's so much. Yeah. Now, that's going to tick a lot of people off. Because a lot of people are going to go, look, my work will give me one weekend. But two weekends? Well, it's the same show, two weekends. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, but don't you want to go twice? No. Oh, there's no way. There's no way. There's no way. Yeah, you come back and you're beat up. Oh, no. I wouldn't want to go twice unless it was like 30 of my favorite bands.
And even then, I'd be like, oh boy, do we really want to do this again? It's a bit of an inconvenience for the artists, and that's all I would probably say. Tickets are bucks. Oh, dude. $315. Yeah. A piece. And if you want the VIP treatment, $1,300. Oh, that's a jump. That's a big jump. How? So, April 13th through the 15th, and April 20th through the 22nd. Those are the two weekends. Here's the bands. Radiohead. The Black Keys. Dr. Dre and Snoop. Yep. Those are your headliners. Those are the headliners. And then you'll also see Bon Iver. You'll also see Florence and the Machine. Yep. Mazzy Star. Yeah. Cool. Noel Gallagher. That's awesome. Yeah. Noel Gallagher. Yep. So, yeah, it's going to be pretty good. With Dr. Dre and Snoop, you think there'll be some smoke in the crowd? Oh, my gosh. I cannot even imagine what that night will be like. That's on Sunday, so I won't get to see that, but I'll be at the first two. You couldn't pay me $1,300 that is the VIP cost to go to the show. Radiohead's on Sunday night, too. Oh, is it? It's on Saturday. It's on Saturday. It's on Saturday. Thank goodness. Yep. I will be seeing that. Yeah.
You know me. I get nervous and anxiety around crowds. I get anxious. You should relax. Well, it's not my fault. My heart starts beating. Get all sweaty. My heart beats. It's fine, man. Are you sweaty out there? That's for sure. Yeah, you're sweaty. It's hot. It's hot. All the humanity all pushed up against each other. You smell. There's not a lot of, like, touching. I mean, it's just wide open space. Now, when the band starts playing, it gets a little bit, but it's not anything you can't handle. If you want to push all the way up. If you want to push up. Yeah, there's screens. You can sit on the grass and watch. I sat on the grass and watched Jay-Z and just sat there. Just high from secondhand marijuana. Just high. Well, not even secondhand. Yeah, peyote. Yeah, mescaline. High on secondhand mescaline. Yeah. Wasn't secondhand. Trying to get hired at a job you test positive for everything. Yep. They're like. You smoke heroin? You're like, no. No, I was in Coachella. I don't. I went to Coachella. Okay. All right. You're fine. You're good. Carry on. You should have wrote that on here. You got a window. I didn't know you were in Coachella. It's so fun. It's so fun. You see all the fun people. Oh. All the wild people. Yeah. It's crazy. People watching. I'll tell you what I would do. I tell you what I would do. I would be willing to pay $45 for high definition live cam at Coachella.
I would sit in my living room. And watch the show. And I would want to people watch. So I want the camera there just so I could see all the people. Different views. You could flip from channel to channel. Oh, that'd be great. Because there's different tents. Because I want to experience it. I just don't want to smell the mescaline. Yeah. I don't want the smell of meth burning in a Pepsi can. You're used to it. The Palladium channel does a great job of covering concerts all over the world. For sure. You should do it. I love Palladium. And it's because of that very reason. I would be anxious and having a panic attack if I were there. But I like being able to watch it from the comfort of my own couch. Tell you, if you haven't been ever, but not you, but other people listening, if you haven't been, you got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. I wonder if the bracelets that Jay has on his wrist from last year's show will be good for this year's show. I bet it gets me something. I bet it doesn't. Got to. Still has them on. Lauren. Yes. When? When it falls off. Yeah. It's like an umbilical cord. Yeah. But doesn't need. I can hear you fine. Don't you think.
Still hear you. Yeah, I think usually like the morning. No way. This is a memory. It's a memory bracelet. I went when I was in eighth grade. We went to Vail, Colorado, and we went skiing. But you were in eighth grade. Tagged for about two weeks. And then my friends started making fun of me. And they're like, you already went to Vail. You can take it off. It's like a friendship bracelet. I cut it off. This is memories built into it. I think of it like a photograph. What's that, Chad? I think of it like a photograph. Where it's like, it reminds me. It's like a living photograph. But don't you have photographs from Coachella? But I don't carry those around me. Are they in your phone? Do you have pictures in your phone? Yeah. Okay, there you go. He is wearing a scroungy, dirty, filthy. It's filthy. It bathes with me every morning. Hempy. I'd like to remind you, he does not wear his...
U-S-O-B. He doesn't wear his wedding hair. I broke that finger. It stinks. But he needs to remember how Coachella 2011 was. It sticks, Mike, on my finger. Ow. Ow, ow. Ring, ow. I hate jewelry unless it's from Coachella. That's just to see how long it'll last. It'll get, my wedding ring gets caught. Oh, it hurts. Oh, man. Oh, it hurts. I tell you what, I'm going to take you. Ouch. I may have to get this thing amputated. I may have to. I can never wear a ring ever. Ever. I can't. I can't, man. I can't. But I can wear this Coachella bracelet. With pride. With pride. With pride. Wow. You know what it is. People will go, hey, what is that? I'll tell you what it is. By the way, before I tell you, I want you to know I'm 48. Don't look it. It's my Coachella bracelet. Yeah, I never say that. It's my Coachella bracelet. Did you go? It's my Chella bracelet. How you been? Yeah, of course I went. Yeah. Of course I went. Of course I went. Of course I went.
I've actually bumped into other people that still have them on, too. They're 13. No, they're not. They're like in their 30s. By other people, he means teens. Right. Nope. No, tweens. Pre-teens. They're in between being a teenager and a child. But you're almost 50. It's true. But only... He's a kid at heart. That's right. He's a kid at heart. So, Snoop, you're going to... People are just going to be shocked by this. Snoop was arrested on a minor drug charge. By the way, Snoop's a real name. Anybody know? Calvin Broadus. Calvin Broadus. Very good, Woodsy. Thank you very much. At the high school with Cameron Diaz. Is that right? Is that true? I did not know that. Sold her some weed. The LBC. Well, Calvin was arrested on the Sierra Blanca Highway checkpoint because border agents... Smelled some weed. Apparently those border agents will get you. Yeah. So will the dog that the border agents have. Which in this case they did have a dog and it smelled it. And so they went in there. And what do you know if Calvin didn't have some jerks rolled up and put into a prescription bottle. And he threw in the trash. Uh oh. Now all together it was 0.13 pounds of marijuana. Fresh marijuana now.
To Snoop's defense, he does suffer from migraines and has blurred vision. There you go. If he's got his card. He does. Should be good to go. In California. California. It's only good there. Yeah. So if he was in California, that would have worked. He would have said, yo, man, I gots me some blurred vision. I gots me a card. I can barely even tell. Who you is? I can't see you. No, my God, I can't see you. I can't see none. Who is that? Who is that? Do you have any Cheetos? Yeah. Who is that? By the way, you got any croutons? Croutons. I just want to munch on something, man. Hell yeah. Oh, gross. In a pinch? In a pinch? In a pinch? You do a lot worse than croutons. I eat the butt out of a crouton. Oh, yeah. Calvin is a... He's got a plea. He's already pleaded no contest. Could mail in a fine of up to $500. Piece of cake. I'm sure he'll never be caught with it again. No. He's probably learned his lesson. He's learned his lesson. He's in cold turkey now. In California, though, he's got to medicate his eyes. His blurred vision. Bring a green hat. His migraines. Oh, my gosh, man.
Whenever I'm in Texas, my head hurts so bad. I had that migraine. Ouch. Ouch. So there you go. Cover the UT today. By the way, it is not the Union Tribune anymore, lest you think it is. The Union Tribune has officially changed their name to the UT. Yes. About time. It's like KFC. Yeah. Well, we all called it KFC. Yeah. Might as well just do it, and they did. Let's make it official. And UT did the same thing. But anyway, on the cover of the UT, they're talking about how, and we knew this. We knew that microbrews were a big deal in San Diego, but they're really a big deal in San Diego. Yep, yep. If people fly out here. My cousins in New Jersey were talking about it over the Christmas break. Really? Wow. Yeah, San Diego Beer Week here is a huge deal. In fact, the city gave the San Diego Brewers Guild 75K to spend on marketing it. Wow. And it worked. People are coming here and jumping off diving boards into it. Into vats of hopped caramel flavored beer. There they go. Just diving off into it. Yeah. Now, when I still drank, I used to make my own beer.
Woodsy, are you against the microbrew? Not against it. I'm not for it. I'm a Budweiser man, pretty much. I like Budweiser in a bottle. I don't know. I've always been like, eh. Whenever anything gets too much hype, I'm out on it. I'm weird about it. I'm weird about stuff. You know that. When I drink, I wasn't mad at a Budweiser, I guess. But if somebody said, hey, would you like a... fresh glass of Budweiser or would you like a fresh glass of a nice amber ice cold micro? I'm always going to take the ice cold micro. I'm taking the Bud. I don't try to be fancy. It tastes like a watered down version of what beer is supposed to be. After you have a micro beer like that, you're like, oh, that's what it's supposed to taste like. Well, who says? It's all personal preference. Yeah. It just tastes really watered down to me. It tastes delicious. An ice cold Budweiser in a bottle, there's nothing like it. Okay. Crisp, refreshing. To me, it's the difference between, hey, look, I'll fry you up a nice piece of bologna. Now, I know you grew up eating bologna sandwiches and everything because mom's made it for you. Sure. Okay. But what I'm offering you here is a nice steak, which, you know, no.
Too fancy. Too fancy. Yeah, I'm trying to be fancy. Too fancy. I want bologna. I'm pretty simple in my, you know, I'm simple. I don't like to pair my beers. You know why I drank beer, Mike? To get hammered. That's why I drank beer. Oh. I wasn't trying to find the best beer for my pork chop. Classic alcoholic trait, by the way. They say if you drink to get drunk, then you're classically alcoholic. That's not classically alcoholic. They say if you drink. Who's they? They dot com? For the express purpose of getting drunk. Yeah, I drank to get hammered. So, yeah, that's it. I wasn't trying to find the best veal, what veal went best with. Yes. Or the best, oh, this would go really good with pork chop and applesauce. Normal drinkers, they say, will have a beer. I can have a beer. Right, but you can't get drunk on it. No. But you only drink to get drunk. Not only, but that was usually like the, for all intents and purposes, hey, we're going out tonight. I'm not going to have two beers. What about a glass of wine? Yeah, I like a glass of wine. There you go. I like a glass of Pinot. But I'm not trying to pair it with... But you like the Pinot for the taste, right? Some people who drink good beer, they like it for the taste. Yeah, that's fair enough. I'm with you on this. I don't like pairing stuff. You know what I think is dorky? That. Yeah, pairing. Like, this tastes good with Dover Soul. Come on. Come on, dude. Come on. 570-1949 is our phone number.
Jay, you're not that guy, are you? Oh, he's that guy. No, you're not. I would definitely go up there putting things together. Like sometimes beer and chocolate, they'll do a thing. And it's like, I'll go for that. Well, you'll also do a keg stand on a keg of Coors Light. That is 100% true. If there's Coors Light available, yeah, I'll drink it. But I prefer like if there's a ballast point, almost ballast point anything. Yeah, balance point's freaking good, man. I've had it. I've had Stone, and Stone is really good. Those are both macro brews. Yeah, I know. The blind lady. I'm not opposed. I'm just, if I go to the store, I'm like, get a six-pack of Budweiser. It's just what I do. It's very simple. Very simple. Was it, you remember the Shamwild guy? Vince, the Shamwild guy? Yes. He got busted, I think. He got busted for doing something. Vince, the Shamwild guy. Is he, like, bilking people out of money? Hmm. I think it was worse. Was it worse than that? I believe so. Well, we'll tell you all about Vince the Shamwa guy because he's back. He's back with something called the Shticky. And I'll tell you all about it next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer from batteries to tires.
Toyota's got you covered. We've got an accident here on the 8 eastbound to the 67 northbound connector, a Christmas tree in the middle of lanes here on the 94 westbound before Federal Boulevard, and a little bit of a delay on the 905 westbound from Corporate Center Drive to Cactus Road, 30 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Get low rates for good drivers and boat at wawanisabus.com. Drive well, save big, get covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today. Chase brings the bank to your business with a quick deposit check scanner. Deposit checks into your Chase business checking account at any time without having to leave the office, which speeds up cash flow and gives you more time to get everything else done. Whether that's talking to suppliers, hello, finishing reports, here you go, or finally launching the company website. And we are online, people. Sign up now and get a Chase Quick Deposit scanner for free. Stop into a branch or go to chase.com slash business quick deposit to learn more. More convenient business banking. Take a step forward and chase what matters.
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We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Get to a better state, save farm. With H&R Block Office online, mobile, and block live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever, and however you like. H&R Block, never settle for less. Come on, get up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of... Girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself with radish. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts, the reviews. And Jay. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself. On FM 94.9. Play buzzword. Oh, boy. 570-1949. You're going to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B. I was going to have an egg and cheese burrito, but Jay walked into the room. Yep.
We're in the process of ordering San Marino. Yes. And Jay said, that ain't healthy. Well, you said you were going to make an effort this year to be healthier. And it's an everyday thing. That is a true fact. And I said, I've been eating really good. Everyday thing, man. Yep. Good means every day. Every day. You could have a cheat day, but I would say I would recommend cheating on a dinner, not a breakfast. Or a weekend. A weekend. Weekends are the cheating. I get one king size meal. Yep. Every day. Every day. Nope, not every day. I cheat with a piece of chocolate every day. Do you? Who is he? I'm black and I'm proud. I love it. Oh, my gosh. That was good. That was good. That was actually very good. Yeah. Word of the day is goldfish. I haven't said it yet, but I will. When I do, caller 9, I'll give you tickets to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers at Valley View Casino Center February 29th. Okay. The ShamWow guy, Vince, he got busted because he assaulted a prostitute. He's been out of commish.
For a while. But he's back with something called the Sticky. Hey, it's Vince Offa here with my new product called the Sticky. You're going to clean your home in a quickie when you use your Sticky. Now, here's the deal. It's a reusable lint roller and more. For furniture, food particles in the cabinets, debris on the stairs, and even use it in the car. And ladies, you always wanted to stick it to your husband. Now you can. Works on all fabrics from wool to velvet. Problem with that shedding? Shedding. Shedding. Okay. Shedding. Pick up cat hairs from clothes. Or you sticky on the leftover dog hairs on the sofa. Or even sticky your pets before they shed. It's made of a special silicone. So, with a little water, the dirt comes right off. Sticky. Sticky. Sounds a little sticky to me. Yeah, me too. Yeah, it does. By the way, I heard that there's a product out there. It's called the Lazy Something. And it's an adult. onesie. Yep, I've seen it. Haven't seen it. Wow. Want it? Haven't seen it. No, you don't. Don't? I? Well, you own a nightgown already. What do you need a onesie for? Yeah, with pockets that you got tailor-made. Yes, you actually own a nightgown. It's not a nightgown. It's a muumuu. It's identical to a nightgown. It's not not a nightgown. It's a plaid nightgown. That's true. I can't, I can't. Come on. It's not not a nightgown.
But it's not a nightgown per se. It's a freaking nightgown. Yeah. It's a nightgown. It's a one. You slip it over your head. It's a gown you wear at night. You slip it over your head and you have pockets in it. Yeah. You put the pockets. You got the pockets added by a tailor. I didn't. You did. I didn't get pockets added by a tailor. I got it hemmed by a tailor because it was too long. And Lauren. Oh, gosh. A onesie? Is that the one with the feet in it? It's got feet in it. And it's got, and the thing in the back, it's got a zipper so you can go toots. So it's guaranteed to never get you laid. Fair enough. See you walking around in this thing. It's a woman repeller. I feel like that's the kind of thing that comes out right before the holidays as a bit. It sounds so cozy. Oh, it sounds like a fart trapper. Yeah. But everything is. You're saying, but it can't get out anywhere. No, there's no escape. Feet down there. Yeah, it swirls around your feet. The only place it has to come up is at your head or your hands. Right. It comes out your hands. It's a good thing I don't do that. It's a good thing I don't fart. Hey, I ain't like you guys. You do. I do it where it's supposed to be done. I do not. Well, hang on, hang on, hang on.
If people are around. When you go to bed, it's 6 o'clock. So you're tuning it up all the way until about 8 or 9 when Rebecca finally comes to bed. True, true. But I do not do it in front of people. If there's people around, I won't. But it's in the onesie. Yeah. It's there with you. Do you remember when you were a kid and you would start to outgrow your onesie? He didn't remember that. Pulling down your shoulders. Start hurting your neck. Or your mom would zip it up real quick and catch yourself. Yes. And then you start. And then get mad at you. They get mad at you. You take the top part off and wear like a wet suit. Oh, yeah. You're like, oh. Just the pants. Do your parents ever get mad at you because you react? They hurt you. They hurt you. You reacted. Then they get mad at you. Shut up, you little baby. Stop it. Why didn't you stand still? Yeah, it's my fault. It's your fault. You know why, Mom? Because I wanted to make sure that you injured me. Yeah, you zipped up my belly. Yes, that's why. I wanted that feeling of skin being caught in a zipper.
I hated that. Kim, my wife, did it to Jasper yesterday. Jasper's my eight-year-old. And she went to put her arm over his head to hug him. And she full-on swacked him in the forehead. And she said, well, you've grown. You've grown. You've grown. He's like, I'm sorry, Mom. Sorry. Yes, my bad. Oh, man. All right, we're going to play buzzword. So give us a call. The way that you do it is that Jay's going to pick a word. And then he's going to give us a clue with that word being the answer. The word will be in the answer. So if the word is egg and he says something that you, an omelet is when you go, egg. Crack an egg. Right. Crack an egg. Right. Something to do for an omelet. Crack an egg. All right. Let's see. M1, Julian from Fallbrook, who do you want to represent you? I'll take wood. There you go. Hang on. Oh, boy.
M1, Sarah from Oceanside. Who do you want? LLB? Yeah. That's a good choice. M1, Daniel from Oceanside. Guess what? I feel lucky today. Yep. I feel lucky today. Right on me, too. I think you'll get it. I'm representing you. We are playing for a four-pack of lunch or dinner at Rubio's. Delicious. Enjoy their Langostino lobster tacos. Are they in now, the Langostino lobster tacos? That's what it says. Gosh, did I get that excited? Man. You're too inquisitive. Easy, Mike. Easy. Easy, dude. It's just a lobster. There's more. There will be more. They're not going in, you know. Plenty of lobsters in the ocean, Mel. All right, let's see. What's the word, Jay? What's the word, man? Today, have you decided? Today's word is look. Look. L-O-O-K. Just don't like to touch. All right, here we go. John Travolta. Travolta. Look who's talking!
Darn it. There you go, Woods. Darn it. That wasn't fair. That wasn't fair. Isolate, by the way. That wasn't fair. Well, yeah. Save it. It wasn't fair, though. Save it. Because I was too. Hey, you got to rise above it. I was too blissful. John Travolta. And I was looking at you being blissful. Don Travolta. I love him. Don Mamuchi. Here we go. What's the word? Look. Look. A person who closely... Looky Lou. Lookalike. What the hell? Looky Lou. Lookalike. How dare you? Looky Lou. Wasn't she an action star? Yes. Spectator. Unlooker! Before crossing the street... Lookalike! I'm going to give it a two-way tie to these two right over here. Oh, you can't. I'm pulling the tape on that. I slayed her on that one. No, it was a tie. Mikey came in a little bit late on it. He screamed louder. I'll give him that. I actually said look both ways. I said look both ways. Okay, here we go. Better pay attention. Take a superior stance. Look down upon.
Weird that you got that one, Mike. Yeah, Mike, that's all you do. That's all you do, Mike. Sons eat. All right, here we go. What you got cooking? Cooking! Be careful. Oh, dang it. New word. New word, new word, new word. The word is get. Is it? No, it's G-E-T. Okay. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Here we go. Supper time. Dinner. Ready. Get some. Get. Supper time. Get food. Get. Get in here. Get. Get down here. It's dinner time. Come and get it. Oh. Come and get it. Come and get it. The word is get it. Oh, crap. Get supper. Get supper. Get some dinner time in.
Do not allow yourself to become depressed. Get happy. Get out of a funk. Get made. Get over it. Get over it. Get made. Get it together. Get together. Get happy. Don't let it get you down. This word sucks. It does. I agree with Woods. This word sucks. All right, I'm going to get another word. Thank you. Thank you, Jay. Good Lord, that word's terrible. That was the worst word you've ever had. You know, get happy. Yeah, get happy. Ice. Ice. Ice. Let's do it. Way better, way better. Ice. In other words, a refrigerator. Ice box. Oh, wow. Two-way tie right there. In reserve. Ice it. Ice box. Ice tray. Put it on ice. On ice. That's it. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. You said nice. Excuse me. It caused the demise of the Titanic. Iceberg. Iceberg. Iceberg. It's an ice age. The ice age caused the demise. That old thing. What's the score? It's Mike three, Lauren three, Woods six.
Okay, so we got a couple of three-pointers. All right. Oh, gosh. One hit wonder. Ice, vanilla ice, vanilla ice, vanilla ice. Ice ice baby. I say vanilla ice. It was vanilla ice. It was vanilla ice. Start it. Okay, here's a six point. Oh, you son of a bitch. Six point. Carbon dioxide that should be handled carefully. Oh, dry ice, dry ice. What's carbon dioxide? Okay, Woods just did a flip because. He's a winner, winner. Once again. I eat all the dinner. He won. Dang it. That guy dominated. Guy's good at this, man. Stupid. Eating that brain food in the morning. Man, man. Julian. Julian, you're a winner. Yep. Woods brought it home. Peace on those tacos, pal. Dang it. Yeah, man. That's close. How do you do that? You can't even practice, you know? Like, your brain either operates that way or it doesn't. In a little while, ah, screw it. That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over. In a little while, I'm going to play the new Van Halen song. It's called Tattoo. Oh. That's it. And we'll play it. Coming up. Just a little bit. It's 7 o'clock, we'll play it. Can we riff on it? Yeah. Well.
Yeah, but don't you want to listen to it? Yeah, let's hear it. Don't you want to listen to it? Yeah. Kind of. Huh? Kind of. Yeah, I think people are curious. And if we riff through the whole thing, then people will be like, shut up, shut up. I want to hear the new tattoo. Shut up. Shut up. You guys talk enough. Gosh. There was a woman in Peabody, Mass. There goes college soccer. There you go. There was a woman in Peabody, which my old buddy Rob, that was his hometown, Peabody. Woods just gave me the thing. Hey, there's your friend, dude. It's perfect. Your boy. Because he's just great. Every time I leave here early, or if I don't do something with Woods, Woods will go, it's just going to go do something with Boston Rob, huh? Yeah.
Which, in fairness to him, you do. Yeah, fair enough. That is not true. Sent two texts to my friend Mike yesterday, zero of which were returned. That is not a true statement. That's a true statement. You sent one I didn't respond to. I would like to hear the Peabody map. I sent two. Federal Transportation Security Administration is defending themselves because they confiscated a cupcake from a woman who was flying from Massachusetts to Las Vegas. And they're defending themselves. Now, in fairness to them, this whack job put that cupcake in a freaking jar. That's creepy. Why? Because she's a sex pervert. A psychopath. They considered it Joe. Who puts a freaking cupcake? In a jar. What, should you put it in a box, maybe, or like a styrofoam? Dude. Anything but a jar? A coffin. Anything but a jar. You're weird. Boss, there's a lady here with a cupcake, and I know, it's not that weird. Yeah, so what? It's in a jar. It's in a jar. She's got a cupcake in a jar. I was out of my Tupperware.
I ran out of Tupperware. It's flour and sugar. I don't care if you're out of your Tupperware. Don't freaking put it in a jar. Get your paws off it. Freaking psychopath. But it's not a liquid. It's a gel. It's a gel. A cupcake is a gel. Well, they looked at it. I have to put my lip gloss in a little thing. Yeah, if you've got to put a lip gloss in something, then don't put a freaking cupcake in a jar. Hey, Chubbs, maybe eat your cupcake before you get on the plane. How about that? That's always a good idea. It was homemade for my mother. Great. Feast on it in the freaking terminal. I was bringing it to Las Vegas. How were you going to get it out? I was going to take it with my paws. You were going to smash it with a hammer? Yeah, emergency. It's an emergency cupcake. My goodness, that's weird. That is weird. Cupcake in a jar is a weird thing. Sounds like a new song. Yeah. You want to hear it? Yeah, let's do it. Cupcake in a jar. Cupcake in a jar. Take one. You rolling on the rehearsal? Yep. Give me a little siblings.
Cupcake in a jar. Well, ladies and gentlemen, you've now heard it all. Yes, you have. You've heard everything that you've heard up to this point. Now you've heard cupcake in a jar. By the way, I just want everyone to know, lest you think Jay, our producer, is lazy, I don't want you to think that. And as proof, I will read to you his recap from yesterday. Jay. Yes. No, this is rhetorical. Do you know what rhetorical means? Jay, this is a question that does not require an answer. Jay, what did you do yesterday? Why, Mike, I had an M1 ask me about cheap dates, so I put together a list. Number one, take her on a hike. Number two, have a picnic on the beach. This is my recap, by the way. Right. Number three. And blog.
A bike ride. I feel you, brother. Number four. Go to a museum. What's wrong with your accent, Jay? Go to a museum and buy ballpark. Number five. Hit up the bar at the boat docks. Yeah. This is my list of things to do for a cheap date. Number seven. Number seven. Bowling. Number eight. Barbecue at the park. You guys. On those grills in the park. Yeah. Gross, dude. Yeah, that one's not so good. That's disgusting. Fire cleans everything. Yeah, salmonella, real good. That one's not so good. Number nine. Smoke in my eyes. Go to a indoor climbing gym. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, God. It's fun, and you get to look at each other's butts. That's right. Oh, God. And my last idea for a cheap date idea.
Go to a drive-in theater. What's his jaw just chopped off? A lot of grab-ass. A lot of grab-ass. All of his ideas are to get grab ass going. Oh, yeah, duh. What else is the date for? Wait, you don't go hiking with a broad if you want to get grab ass going. No, I do. I do. I do. How long she ain't got a whistle? Well, this one here would be me hiking with her. Sweating. Like, this is so much fun. Jay. I like the one. Thank you. That's his recap. That's his recap. And blog. You're looking for that. I did the same thing, Jay. MikeyShow.com. That's right. All right, I'll play the new song from Van Halen next. It's called Tattoo. The Mikey Show now. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's plastic. Excellent job. Mikey. 570-1949. Or text. That is funny. At 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9.
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Come in now and get the Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket 4G LTE smartphone for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9. Visit att.com or store for details. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Compatible device and data plan required. Tablet and smartphone each require a new two-year service agreement with qualifying monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. 2012 is officially here. Happy New Year, everyone. I'm sure you got some resolutions. Woods, any resolutions for you? Oh, yeah, I have several resolutions, but probably the only one I'll be able to stick to is using ovation cell therapy the entire year. I think you can actually stick to that. I think so too. And I've been using Ovation for over a year now. Everybody always tells me how great my hair looks. So I decided to give the gift of Ovation this holiday season. I got my cousin on it. I got my aunt on it. They started already with the gift of beautiful hair. Absolutely. And I started using Ovation because my wife Jamie was using it. She looks phenomenal. My friend Lauren O'Brien was using it. Her hair looks phenomenal. It's only the right thing to do.
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She does her mascara at 7.04. Because I finally get a minute to breathe at 7.04. It's always 7.04, though. That's weird. If you're driving in your car and you're a dude, just know Foxy Blonde Girl over here is putting her mascara on at 7.04 a.m. Your friend every morning. Trying to look good for all you. All right. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. It means when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to your point, and don't cuss. Do you want to know what a primary is? We're going to go to our grown-up correspondent, my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law can explain anything adult, and that is a true story. I don't get it. I don't get grown-up stuff. I was reading this morning. I'm like, what is what? But we'll explain it coming up in just a minute. Word of the day is goldfish, and I haven't said it yet, so when I weave that into a sentence, make sure you're listening. And then caller number nine.
I'll give you a pair of tickets to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. What's going on in sports besides the BCS? The BCS game was last night. I told you about it earlier if you missed it. Alabama did beat LSU 21-0. There also is a new member of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Barry Larkin from the Cincinnati Reds was chosen on 495 of 573 ballots. Really good player, this guy. He had 295, 198 homers. He was in the All-Star game 12 times. Three gold gloves. Really, really solid player. Now you're kind of getting into the steroid era. Next year is going to be the Roger Clemens, the Maguires, all those. Well, Maguire's been up, but he hasn't been voted in yet. So Barry was one of those guys that was just a good, solid player. So he is now in the Baseball Hall of Fame. And a very sad story out of Green Bay. The son of Green Bay Packers offensive coordinator Michael Philbin has passed away. I'm sorry, Joe Philbin has passed away, was found in a river. Yesterday. He had gone to visit some friends at a different university, was out drinking with his buddies, and somehow wound up in this river. And, you know, the Packers have a game this weekend, so they have a contingency plan because Joe Philbin more than likely will not be there for that game. Very sad story. Oh, my gosh. I know. Brutal. All right. You ready for the new Van Halen song? Oh, so much. It's called Tattoo. And this is David Lee Roth and Van Halen back together.
Ain't mad at Eddie. Hell no. L.O.B. was doing old guy dance. Do an instrumental album. Yeah. Meet Sally. I want a quesadilla. I have to see L.O.B. do that dance. Guy dance gets me. Old guy dance standing in the front row. And we mean like middle-aged. Oh, yeah. Jay. Yeah. Jeans up real high. Poopa. Wearing his Van Halen shirt from back in the day. And white Reeboks. And white Reeboks. Yes. If you like the Eddie part, I understand. Yeah. But if you like anything else, you're a dork. He's lost some pipes. Some of his pipes are gone. He can pull it off, though. It's a better song. It's still better than anything Bieber's ever done. That bad of a song is better than anything Justin Bieber has ever done. Yeah.
Swap meat, Sally. Swap meat, Sally. Yeah. A quesadilla. They may have a swap meat. Me. Swap meat. You know, Sally is not a name you hear very much anymore. Her tattoo's faded. On an egg white omelet. It's good for my digestion. My cholesterol. My doctor said goodbye. Tattoo me, pal. Tattoo you. I could have done the better guy singing that song. I think your pipes are a little better than David Lee's these days. I disagree. But, you know, the guitar and the drums and all that sounded phenomenal. Of course. Phenomenal. That's what I say. You know, if it was just an instrumental record. Yeah. But.
David Lee Roth. Dorky. Puts off a dorky vibe, man. He didn't used to. He didn't used to. All I see him, all I see him is in Panama. That's all I can picture in my mind. And now I see him in overalls and a newsboy cap. Yeah. Penny loafers. Penny loafers. With suspenders and a cane and he's flipping the cane around like the peanut. Shopping in Michael's. Like Mr. Peanut. I'll go see it. I'll have to go see it. But that's when you make a Coors Light run. It's during tattoo. You go get Coors Lights for everybody. Hey, Mikey, your burrito's here. Thank you. Your healthy breakfast. Thank you, Jay. Burrito time. Jay, your tact is not here. I didn't order any. Maybe you should. I'm going to have that in my head now. Swap me, Sally. It's impossible not to. Swap me, Sally. Yes, you better slow. Swap me. Swap, Sally, swap. The old stuff, I'll tell you. Like, in terms of songs, if they come on the radio and you're not going to turn it, for me, never. I would never. If this is on the radio, I'm listening. That's strong. Yeah. Strong to very strong. Not quite strong. Strong to quite strong. Love this part.
Oh, sorry. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. I stopped at rights. My favorite part. Now, defense to David Lee Roth, in terms of dorkiness, I'm a gigantic dork as well. And I mean gigantic. I mean actually gigantic. Physically. Yeah. Like in stature and... Got it. Girth. Right. Yeah. Defense to David Lee Roth, I also won't change it if that's on. Yeah. Makes two of us. You won't either, right? Yes, I will keep on. David Lee Roth, no. You won't leave Panama? No. You can't. You can't turn from Panama. You can't turn from Panama. You've been outvoted. But you have no soul if you... Too old for me. You have no soul if you change this when it's on. And I don't care if you are a tattooed... Yeah. And by tattooed, I mean... Yeah. Look. If you change this. Look.
If you're on a first date with a girl, your very first date, and you're driving in your car, you'll want to change this, but you can't. You can't. You can't do it. You can't do it. She is going to be like... M1 Sanjaya has a tattoo on his neck. Yes. He can't change it. He can't and won't. He can't and won't. Woods, what would yours be? Do you know the song Always and Forever by Heatwave? Yeah. I have it. I love that song. It's one of those that if it's on, it's over for me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Going out to Woods and Jamie tonight. Enjoy. This is you. Always and forever. I love this song. Real good stuff. I like it. I know everywhere. I would not change the station. No. I wouldn't change the station. Give me another one. Oh, God. This one's embarrassing. This one's real embarrassing. It's Edwin McCain. I'll be. I have that. I have it. It's so amazing. Oh, my God. I've got that. Oh, my gosh. It reminds me of Dawson's Creek. Oh, God. Oh, my gosh. I have to admit to you, I freaking love this song. Oh. Me and you are crazy.
Queens. I may get misty-eyed when I hear it if I'm by myself. Oh, boy. Think of my wife. What do you want? I may have been sitting in my truck and told a girl one time, you know what? Forget it. And she's like, what? And I was like, forget it. Oh, boy. So dramatic. So dramatic. That's a true story. Oh, yeah. Forget it. What? I thought about you when I heard that song. Oh, boy. I was in Subway about... three weeks ago getting a sandwich, and this was on. And I'm not kidding. I started thinking of my wife, and my eyes filled up with tears. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm my mother. I was like, oh, God, dude, what is wrong with you? A lot, apparently. That's who I was speaking to. Me, too. I was speaking to my wife. Yes, you guys. Really big queens. Just romantic. What are you going to do? Just try to be dynamic and romantic. I love my wife. I wouldn't be talking about other girls, man.
That's not what I meant. You know, man. That's a true story. Hey, Rebecca, I'm sorry, man. You had to hear that from your boy. Oh, jeez. I love that song. L-O-B. You guys need a moment. Yes. Give me a song that you will never change the station if it's on. Mine is probably a lot cooler than yours. Mine's not as sappy. What? Private eyes. Oh, my God. That's cool, though. I know I have that. Of course you do. That's cool. Yeah. I don't keep on Edwin McCain. I wouldn't change it. This? No. I love hauling notes. I will take my hands off the steering wheel to clap. Yeah, this is not dorky. It's not dorky. It's great. Yeah. It's hauling freaking notes. Give me another one. It's not that cool when you're on a first date and you keep private eyes on. Yeah, you're even keeping private eyes on it. Keep that in mind. Yeah, I probably would. You would? Yeah. First date.
I can't wait to hear what Jay's would be. It's the Black Keys, Lonely Boy. I feel like such a dork. It's so played out. Every time I hear Firehose, I'm like, oh, I'm such a dork. Man, I'm so nervous, but I can't help you. The descendants are on. I have to listen. On the December's album, shoot. Oh, man, is that Delta Spirit? Gosh darn it. You had to catch me with that. You had to catch me. Oh, red-handed. I guess it's just a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure. My guilty pleasure is Led Zeppelin, Battle of Evermore. Count me. Just can't change the station when it's home. Dude, I want to go to his house and he's listening to freaking Celine Dion. Yeah, Celine Dion. That's Celine Dion. Listen, you ain't never going to catch me with it, but this is my song I like. It is. Is it? Yes. Are you kidding? This is Diary, right? Yes, this is it. Oh, my God. Who is this? I have it written down. I have it written down. Bread, Diary.
Right here in front of you. Wow. Do. I swear. You. I swear. Do you. I always throw this song out. He always says bread, yeah? Yeah. That's big bread. That is true. Guy's a huge bread fan. Guy loves bread. I do too. He sops it up. He sops it up. He sops it up. It's good with gravy on it. Yep. Well, it's food. And it's free. And it's free to my listening ears. My other one is an old school one as well. What? It's Billy Joel, scenes from an Italian. Oh, I got that. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Is it? It is cool. That is a very cool song. Heck yeah. I could be mad at that. Would you change it if this was on the radio? Yeah, I'd change that. Oh, you're out of your gourd. I would. I've never been a giant Billy Joel fan, though. Not a big one. But scenes from an Italian restaurant? Bottle of white. Bottle of white and a bottle of red, bro. Bottle of good. Bottle of red. How about that? He doesn't like the hype. Yeah, Uptown Girl, kick ass. Uptown Girl's not a good song. That's not a good song, but this is a great song. It's a great song. Changes up a couple times. Yeah. It's like a new song every time. Hey, I got a missed connection guy on the line. You know, the thing on, by the way, I just heard about this.
L.O.B. and I are talking Craigslist. Yeah, that's right. Do you know that there's a section on there called Missed Connections? Of course there is. There's casual encounters as well. Save that for a rejoin. Oh my gosh, L.O.B. There's a section for that. Holy. What does she do when she's out here? What does she do? What does she do when she's not here? There's some funny stuff on there. Excuse me while I whip this out. It's audio of a man at LLB's apartment. M4M, M4W, M4WWW. This girl. Women are filthy, too. Listen, it's not a stretch to believe that at four years old, she was stealing kisses. Oh, yeah. And she was. From napping boys. From napping boys. I know all about the misconnections. M1 Aaron from San Diego. Hey, what's going on, guys?
Not too much. So tell me the missed connection story. All right. So, you know, New Year's Eve, my buddies and I are now having a good time. We decided to do like a guy's thing. We weren't really like out there scoping for chicks or anything crazy like that. We decided to head down to the Ivy nightclub downtown. Right. We were there. We had this bottle service package. It was pretty cool. Everybody was having a good time. I remember. You know, some good bands and everything. And I ran into this girl once. And since we have bottle service, I kind of thought she was hanging around for that. You know how that kind of happens sometimes at the club. And you're like, oh, okay. Well, I don't. I've been there. Okay. Hey, guys. At first, I was kind of like, you know, we were all kind of skeptical of the girls who come around because there were some of those. But Jack started talking to me. And then we got separated for a second and ran into each other later at the party. We had some, you know, a lot of good bands playing. So, you know, as the night got on, like, we were. still hanging out with some, and I thought it was pretty cool. And midnight came around, we shared a kiss, and then kind of lost each other. So I was kind of disappointed, but had a good time. But I was hoping you guys could help me out. Give me a description. Yeah. So the girl or the club? Give me a description. Do you want to see the club again, or do you want to see the girl again? The club's Ivy. It was New Year's Eve. Not going anywhere. New Year's Eve, right? Yep. What'd she look like?
All right, so she's about like a little bit shorter than me, so I'm 5'10", so she's about 5'8", something like that. Okay. She had curly brown hair, but she had blue eyes, which was the thing that kind of like stood out. Approximately how old? Probably my age. I'm 30, so I think she's probably a little bit younger than me, like 28. Oh, you better go younger. Yeah. She was hanging out with a blonde girl who my buddy was kind of into, but that didn't really go anywhere. But maybe it helped for like a landmark purpose. Was she busty? What's that? Was she busty? Yes. Wait a minute. How old are you? I'm 30. Okay. And you think she was approximately below you? Yeah, not like a whole lot younger than me, maybe around my age, but I think a little bit younger if I had to guess. Would you guess when you say younger? 28 or 21? Oh, no, no, 28. She was reasonably intelligent, so she couldn't be that young. Oh, wow. And you just offended our 19-year-old phone screen. Okay, here's what I have. 5'8", curly brown hair, blue eyes, somewhere around 28 years of age and busty. What was she wearing?
All right, I'm trying to think back. I know she had jeans. It was like really tight jeans. I don't know if they're like jean leggings or something like that. Skinny jeans. Skinny jeans? Tight jeans. Yeah, they look more like dress pants, you know what I mean? But she had like a black top, a little bit of sparkle to it. Man, that sounds really lame. All right. I'm picking up what you're putting down. I got it. All right, black top, tight jeans. She's 5'8". She had curly brown hair and blue eyes. She was around 28 years old and she's busty and hopefully an M1. What's her name? Yeah, do you remember her name? That was the thing. It was loud and we're going back and forth and it was either Karen, Kara, Sarah. It was a two syllable. I don't even know that she knows my name honestly. Do you think it starts with a K or a C though? Kara, Karen? It's either Cara, Carrot, or Sarah. Carrot. It's probably Carrot. It's probably Carrot. It turns out it's Jasmine. Okay, now, real quickly, describe yourself. All right. Like I said, I'm about 5'10". I've got brown hair. I'm trying to think of how to do the rest. You're 30. Okay. Good looking. What were you wearing?
I had a blazer, like a moleskin blazer with a striped black and white shirt underneath it and jeans, and that's pretty much it. Sounds nice. All right. Do you have a nice body? M1. We are looking for M1 Cara, Karen, or Sarah. Or carrot. Carrot. M1 carrot. You are 5'8". You have curly brown hair. You have blue eyes. You're around 28-ish. And you are busty. You are wearing a black top, tight jeans. 5701949. Hang on, okay? All right. Hang on. What if we can find it? That'd be awesome. It'd be freaking great. She's probably married. Oh, man. You're in trouble, Carrot. Gosh, Jay. There's some dude driving around like, sounds a hell of a lot like my wife who was at the Ivy on New Year's Eve. Oh, gosh. Is that Carrot? Jay. Carrot, how could you do this to me? Carrot. Broke my heart. All right. We'll be back. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9.
This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer from batteries to tires. Toyota's got you covered. Well, we've got a shovel in the number one lane of the carpool on the 15 just north of Miramar Way. Also, some backup here on the 94 westbound. It's going to take you some time from 15, the southbound side, to about the 805 southbound. It's 20 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by the Exogen Temporal Thermometer. No need to wake a child to take their temperature with the Exogen Temporal Thermometer. You could take your sleeping child's temperature with a scan across the forehead. Get yours at Walgreens and other fine retailers today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bert, Bert's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by the shed. I've got a great stash of surfboards that have just come in, both new and used, and a sale on a bunch of clothing items. So let's stop in and take advantage of that. SurfWise today, there's a...
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M1. Nathan from San Diego, what was the word of the day? Goldfish. I did say it, and you did win Red Hot Chili Pepper tickets. Nice. You guys are the funniest people ever. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Hang on a line. Can't hear that enough. As bad as yesterday was is as great as today is. Today's been fun. All right. I'd like to isolate a couple of parts of that song when he does them. Why would they do that? Because they have to. Swap meat friends. You need to swap meat. Gosh, David Lee. Oh, boy.
Deep voices they found in a study may indicate a low sperm count. Is that right, Mike? Yeah. Why? I can't believe it. Why? I can't either, Woods. This was a new study that came out that said that if you have a deep voice, you have a low sperm count. Weird. So strange, right, guys? Why are you guys talking like that? A deep voice is typically seen as a sign of supreme male news. But researchers have discovered that although it's a quality women find attractive, it can also be a sign of low sperm count. Hell yeah. Why don't you guys talk normal? I concur. Especially you, Woods. Me? Do I have the deepest voice? Yeah. Mikey has the deepest voice. This investigation began by establishing that women did indeed find a deep voice and attractive quality in a man.
After listening to the voice recordings of 54 men aged between 18 and 32. Those men. Those guys were also asked to provide a sperm sample. Wow, that's a weird conversation. What do you mean? Hey, if we notice you've got a really deep voice. Can we talk to you for a minute? Fill her up. There's a magazine. Yeah, it's a true story. That's kind of an interesting fact. It is. It is. And one Kara is on the line. No. Kara? Hello? Kara from San Diego? Yes. Are you 5'8"? Yes. I am shocked. That is me. No way. Well, I'm not 5'8". I'm 5'8 with heels, maybe. He was a little off on that. Maybe some wishful thinking. Is that the dude? Yes.
That guy was a guy. Yeah, I thought his name was Eric, but oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, you both missed it. Yeah, he thought, your name is Kara. Kara. I think he was calling me Karen all night. Oh my gosh. Wow. You were calling him Aaron, so. Yeah, exactly. No, Eric. Eric. She was calling him Eric. His name is Aaron. His name's Aaron. Right, right. Clubs are loud. Are you sure that it's the same guy? What sealed it was the blonde friend. Oh, my gosh. That's the reason I was there. My girlfriend had just split with her boyfriend. So I went with her on New Year's Eve. You know, it was just the two of us. And I knew the other guy was kind of bothering her. And that's why we got split up. Because she had to go to the bathroom, like, right after midnight. And I was so pissed. And I didn't see him after that. Are you single? Yes. Oh, wow. Look at you. Look at you. Wow. I don't think I'd be calling otherwise. Oh, my gosh. You'd be surprised. And he got everything. Hey, did he get it? Hey, did he get everything right? Did he get everything right? The black top, the tight jeans, the sparkly on the black top. Busty. Gosh, Jay. Curly brown hair, blue eyes.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. I usually straighten my hair, but I wore it curly because that's how it is natural. I didn't really think it was going to be a big night for meeting anyone. Hey, he had to go, but Jay got his number. I got his number. Oh, my God. He had to go to class, right? No, he's 30. Oh, he's 30? He lives in San Diego, right? Maybe he did have to go to class. I don't know. He didn't say. Probably work. Yeah, probably work. Well, he's going to get that phone call and be like, come on. Come on. I hope his wife is cool with that. Oh, stop it. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You guys are probably going to go on a date this weekend. You're probably going to get married. Probably before me. Oh, gosh. Hello, B. I've been in a relationship for four years. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. God said I'm bitter. Hello, B. Holy cow. I'm bitter like an orange peel. My son is going to die. Hey, he got the name right. He nailed everything. I feel like, I don't know, I feel so special. She sounds so excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like he's been thinking about me. He has. We all are, obviously. It's been 10 days. Okay, question, question, question. Did somebody call you, or were you listening when it all happened? No, I was on my way to work, so as soon as I got... That's great. That's great.
He's so jealous. I'm always listening, but I, like, I'm listening and I'm going, oh, my gosh. I mean, I was at the Ivy. Oh, my God. And I'm listening to a little, a little bit. And I'm. That is awesome. Wow. Is your heart beating? I'm giddy. I'm giddy. Or was your heart beating? Yes. Yes. It still is, actually. That's the greatest. All right. Well, hang on. Hang on. Don't go anywhere. Make love. Make love. No. Not war. Get married and then make love. I said make love, not war. Right. Can I tell you guys something? I feel afraid. Whatever you're going to tell me, maybe have some anger. It's going to be very embarrassing for me. You made out with him too? No. What? I made sex to him. No, I'm lying. I, when I broke up with my last boyfriend, there was like a stretch, you know, where I was single. And then I started to kind of get into the weepy, like, I used to go to the Miss Connections. All the time. Oh, wow. And see if anyone was looking for me. Oh. I'm leaving. And there was a website called Kismet. And it was all about that. It would be like at the coffee shop on the bus. There was these little subcategories. I'm like, somebody. You're one of the greatest people I've ever met in my life. That's so gold. It's solid gold. Nobody was ever looking for me. But I'd start to read like blonde, tall. And I'd be like.
Perfect soundtrack. Listen, that is one second of the most perfect music to match that mood. That's one second of the most perfect music. I always get a spazzing neck pain because I turn around and laugh at you. I hate that when it happens. Lauren O'Brien. I know. Isn't that sad? No one was ever looking for me. Just go out and meet somebody. Stop it. Leave her alone. Don't attack her because if you attack her, she will not tell us these things. I'm not attacking. She came out of that show. She's so good looking that she could just walk out anywhere and meet somebody. But it's a romantic thing. Girls, I bet more girls than we realize. That's why I'm jealous of Kara. You're so jealous of Kara. I am. You're so jealous of Kara. She's younger than me. She's bustier than me. Somebody's looking for her. Oh, really, Kara? You're just going around, just making out with guys at the Ivy? Yeah, with your big old tees. I'm jealous, too, because think of what that guy is feeling when he finally finds out. Both of them. Oh, my gosh. He's like, oh, man, this is going to be something else. Yeah. You know what, you stupid bee?
I don't care what your love is. I don't even care. You know what? I bet he has herpes. I'll bet you $50 he does. I bet he made it out with every girl. I'll bet you he will give you HPV. He's carrying it. He's a carrier. He found me on MySpace after he met me, but that's about as romantic as it got. My answer to you is yes. That might have just ruined her day. She wants to claw Kara's eyes out with a spoon. I do not. Yeah, you do. I'm happy for that. Are you? Are you? What was that, L-O-B? It's a stupid. Missed encounters will get you. You can search for weeks and no one's looking for you. Oh, my God. More than it's ever been.
You can turn on the search feature. Look for your name. Oh, my God. Look for your physical description. Look for the town that you live in. Wow. The coffee shop you frequent. You can really narrow it down, huh? The supermarket you frequent. This is solid gold. I want to read some. I got to read some at the break. I want to read what these creeps are up to. I wonder if Kismet is still, there was a site. It was like a San Diego site. It was divided up into like on the bus. While driving in your car at the supermarket. Wow. Can you believe that a good-looking blonde girl here is looking on there? I wonder if a dude was looking for me. Sometimes I would have those moments. Those flashes where I reach for the to-go sushi and so did he. And I'd be like, oh, I... I'm sorry. Oh, is that your... I'm sorry. Hey, wassabi. Hey, hey. Wassabi. See you later. Dude, what she doesn't realize is that all she had to do to meet me, go plant yourself on a bar stool. I didn't want to meet the people in the bar. They were like, I wanted to meet the romantic that was looking for me, longing for me. The guy riding the white horse down Moonlight Beach. Stalker.
Or the 101 bus. Yes. The guy on the bus. Here's what it would be. It would be a guy on the 101 on a white stallion. He's black. He's wearing jeans. Yeah. I like where this is going. Surfboard under one arm. Yeah. Excuse me. Pardon me. Oh, hello, Lauren. Your name's Lauren, right? Yeah. Hey. Let me ask you a question. Anything. Were you at Kalani's last weekend? Why? Yes. Yes, I was. Because I was just on my way to Internet Cafe because I was going to search the kismet trying to find the blonde girl, and then here you are. I was just at the Internet Cafe searching kismet for you. It's so genius. I saw you on your white horse last week. That's right. Settle down, girl. Settle down. Buttercup. We found her, Buttercup. We found her. I know, girl. I know. You want to find her. We found her. She's right here. She's right here. Wow. Oh, boy. I remember thinking, someone is packing. And then I realized, Buttercup.
Is a horse. She really is something else, isn't she? You don't even know! Buttercup's not a girl horse. Made me sweat. Anyway, maybe next Lifetime. Someone will be looking for me. Well, maybe we do that the LOB version. We do Miss Connections LOB. What, I get to host it? No! Next time you go into the grocery store and you happen to see someone. Now, I know you've got a boyfriend. I know you've got a boyfriend. Not a husband, though. Not a husband. But hey, you know, you're not married. Yeah, there's nothing set in stone. Yeah, there's nothing set in stone. So, you know, if you were to happen to see a guy in a grocery store that caught your eye, maybe he's listening. Maybe he's a sacker. Yes, dear. Maybe he's a sacker. Why? They haven't called it that since 1952. Maybe he works in the cannery in the grocery store. Or maybe he works at the drugstore and he served you soda. A malted. A malted. Perhaps he's the milkman. Yes. Perhaps he's a cobbler, dear. You see him on your way to the cobbler. That's right.
Maybe he's a steel smith. He's a black smith. Black smith. He's a copper smith. What do you call him then if you don't call him a sacker? Bag boy? A bagger? Maybe a bagger. They don't call him a bagger. Don't? Bag boy. They? A bag boy. I think he's right. It's a sacker. It's not a sacker. It's a sacker. It's not a sacker. I think it is. Someone call in from a grocery store. I think it's a sacker. It's a bag boy. Sacker is a bag boy. Yes. What is it, Nicole? Bagger. Yeah, bagger. I think it's a sacker. He's not a freaking sacker. It was a sacker back in 1942. 1922. 22. Yes, it started during the Great Depression. People would bring a sack in to put their potatoes. Why? Why? A bag boy, that seems derogatory to me. That is probably derogatory. What if you're a girl? A bag girl. A bag person. Give me a freaking break. You're a bag lady. Excuse me, bag boy. No, no, no. Excuse me, bag boy. Men can be bag ladies, too. Bag person. Yeah, they're a bag person. Gosh. How dare you, Woods? That's brilliant. It's not a sacker.
It's a sacker. It is not a sacker. I worked as a sacker. Did you guys grow up in the same hay? The actual hay seed? Yeah. The same seed? Hay seed Texas. 3-2-1-9-0. I was a sacker, so I know. My goodness. Did anyone refer to you as a sacker? Yes. No, they didn't. My boss used to say, you're a fine sacker. He did not. Are you just trying to cover for your friend Jay? You're one of the best sackers. Oh, here we go. It's called bagger. Sacker or Bag Boy? They're all correct. They're all right. It's on Wikipedia. What'd you do? Bagboy.com. You went to Bagboy. Don't go to Bagboy.com. Take my word for it. Take my word for it. M1 Jamie from Ocean Beach. Hi. Hi. It's a bagger. Of course it is. It's a sacker. Of course it's a bagger. I don't know where Jay's from, but it's a bagger. It's a sacker. Jamie, there's not a city in America.
Or even England that calls it a sacker. I posted it on the Facebook page right now from Wikipedia. You know what a sacker is? That's a fraternity guy laying his nuts on his friend's forehead. It's called a teabag, yes. It's an unofficial title given to a courtesy clerk at a supermarket. The primary duties of a bagger resolved around groceries into a shopping bag. Resolved. What's resolved? I think that's what I said. Revolved, sorry. Oh, my God. He's a one-on-one. Such a sacker for a good sacker story. You're a bagger. I'm going to tell you this thing about the, well, you know, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do this because it's such a big thing. It's such a big thing. It has to do with the Oceanside PD, and I love this guy. This Oceanside cop, I love him, and I want to recognize him. And I want to say that I think that the other side are yahoos. And I'll tell you all about it next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer from batteries to tires. Toyota's got you covered. Well, we've got a car fire here on the 15 northbound before Friars Road. They should be in the mopping up stages of that. Also some backup on the 805 northbound. You're going to be delayed from Balboa Avenue to the 52 eastbound between 19 and 28 miles an hour. Some slowing here on the five northbound. You've got delays from the 54. East 224th Street. It's in the mid-20s right now. This report also brought to you by Pro Nutrients, a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. And your old pal L.O.B. L.O.B. and I are just sitting over here today just kicking it with perfect vision. And just seeing everything we want. Just seeing everything. Real good. Hey look L.O.B., if I do this. And I do binoculars with my hands? Yeah. I can still see perfect. 20, 15. You can still see better than most people. That's right. We went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. We met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman, who is the best in the business. She's done Tony Hawk's eyes. She's done L.O.B.'s eyes. And more importantly, my eyes. Yeah, and more importantly, mine. We both got LASIK, and it was something that changed our lives completely. L.O.B., how long has it been since she got your eyes done?
It's been about six months. You know, it feels like I've always been able to see. I almost take for granted the fact that I used to have to wear Sally Jesse Raphael glasses and then I had to wear contacts that got dirt in them all the time, fell out. I wore goggles when I played baseball. Kareem Abdul Woods. Yeah, Kareem Abdul Woods. That's what we call him. Kareem Abdul Joe Woods. Correct. And it was the girls from the field hockey team used to come and watch. Yeah, I was there. So that was awesome. Awesome. But now I've got LASIK surgery, so when I go out to the ball field to play with my semi-professional team, not only am I seeing the ball, the ladies like it too. Yeah, no goggles. So give them a call, 858-452-3937, or go online to www.clearvieweyes.com. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. This year, make 2012 the new U-year with Ovation Cell Therapy. Guaranteed to restore your hair's natural beauty, Ovation Cell Therapy can help repair dry, brittle, damaged hair caused by harsh chemicals and heat styling. Ovation Cell Therapy can dramatically reduce breakage and help repair split ends, even helping to repair the damage caused from hair extensions. With Ovation Cell Therapy, your hair can be thicker, stronger, longer, and healthy again. Guaranteed. My Ovation experience has been great. My hair was terribly damaged and overpowered.
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Explore a different path. That's 866-4-STUDY-1. Every day it's the same old thing. All work, no play, and no free lunches. Will at Harrah's RingCon break the routine? All you have to do is play 30 minutes, earn 25 reward credits, and you'll get a free buffet. There's no strings attached, just big, juicy pieces of prime rib. Offer valid from Sunday through Thursday, open to close. Harrah's RingCon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. Know what to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Recon Band of Luis San Luis. Famished by H. Cal LLC. Copyright 2012. C-Search License Company, LLC. Do I know you? Mike. Back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. Welcome. Dude. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you? On FM 94.9. It's for you, Jay. Feels real good. That one's dedicated to you. Sitting on a blanket with his wife. Middle of a park. That's right. A park that he made. Brushing her hair with a fine-tooth comb.
He still has the concert bracelet. Yeah. Some bread. Some bread. 73. Yeah. The whole year. Chances Jay's ever smoked a marijuana cigarette laying flat on his back on a twin bed in his bedroom, just looking at the ceiling, listening to this. Yeah. I was too young. Were. Were you. You. The last time you were young, General Lee was riding on a big horse. Yep. Do you guys remember Geneva? Yes. Geneva is the girl that sang really, really good and competed in Mikey Idol. She's a really good singer. And she has her first show at North Park on Friday. And it's going to be at 7 o'clock at Queen Bee's. Oh, I performed there before. Queen Bee's? Nice little place. It's got really nice, comfy seating in there. There you go. She is awesome. It's on Ohio Street, North Park. You can be underage, too. There's no booze there. I'm in. I think she has to be, because, oh gosh, she creeps. Jay, carpool? Yeah, I'm in. Oh my gosh. You guys are creeps. Well, it's North Park, so there'll be a lot of dudes there, which would be good for Woods. I'm in, too. Close your eyes. It's all the same, LLB.
I don't know. That is very Sandowski of you. Wow is right. I don't even know where he was at. There's a jaw dropper there. Man. Okay. All right. Anywho. These guys in Oceanside, and if anybody's listening that knows about this and I've got any part of it wrong, let me know. They will. I'm sure they will. But these guys in Oceanside are doing a thing called open carry. What it is is they're walking around with a pistol that you can see, but the clip's out. Now, why are they doing it? I think they're doing it because they can. I think they're doing it because they can. But this is a Oceanside police officer walking up to a guy that's got to, you know,
Pistol showing. You got a lot of calls obviously when you walk down the street. Keep your hand up where you can see it away from the gun, okay? Okay. Are you a police officer or anything? No, sir. No? Do you have a firearm permit or anything? And is it loaded? It's not loaded, sir. It's not loaded. I'm going to check it for my safety before we go any further, okay? A lot of people. Anything else on you? Is it a gun or is it an airsoft? Is it a gun or airsoft? It's a gun. Okay. Why are you carrying it? Not right to. Yeah, okay. That's fine. You can definitely carry it. What kind of gun is this? How do I release it back? Right there. Right here? Yes, sir. And that comes back? Will it lock? Yes. What kind of firearm is it? 40 cal. 40 cal. I'm going to take this. We're going to talk. If you are listening and you're unfamiliar with pistols, 40 cal is a big bullet. It's not as big as a 45, but it's a big bullet. Bigger than a 9mm. Give it back to you, okay? You're right. It is right.
But obviously, I don't know who you are. Make sure you say, you're a Marine? Excuse me. Me too. Only two years, retired. Oh, you can give him, hey, code for him. We're good. Is your ID there? I have a dummy. Hey, you can pull it out. You can relax. What's your name? I'm just asking what your name is. I'm Matt. I'm Matt. Are you, huh? I'll say Jeremy. All right, how you doing, Jeremy? Good area. Put that back in there. Don't pull it out. You can re-holster that. That'd really be good. Oh, okay. Sorry. Are you recording me right now? Yes. Are you trying to make us point? No, it's for my protection. Oh, this is not a third world nation. I'm a retired Marine, too. Of course you can. Protecting my rights, sorry. Yeah, let me ask you this. If you're a police officer, what do you want to do? Make sure it's safe, right? Correct. You're lawful. You did what you're supposed to do. Can I see some identification to verify who you are? I have any on me. You have none on you? No. Okay, let me just take your name down. You haven't got anything else on here, right?
I'm not required to provide my information. Well, you're not required to identify who I am. You don't have to show identification. You can do it verbally. Can you do that? I'm not required. You can't do that at all? No. No clip, by the way. Right. No clip. No clip on him anywhere. No, he doesn't have a clip in the gun. So he's carrying a gun for... It's his right to protect himself, even though there's no clip in the gun, which... How are you going to... Protect yourself. So let me see. Somebody jumps out of the bushes to accost you and you're going to find the clip somewhere, put it in, chamber the round and get the bullet off and get a shot off. No, what they're doing is, is they're letting the world know, oh, I can carry a gun. Right. I can carry a gun. The problem is, is that the cops are seeing guys walking around with a gun on them. And there's a lot of nut jobs.
And so let's say something bad happened, like somebody shot up a place and the cops didn't do anything about the guys that they saw walking down the streets with, you know, 40 Cal Smith and Wessons. I wonder if anybody would go. So you guys saw them walking down the street? You didn't mean you didn't bother to question them. What they're doing is baiting the cops into questioning them. Yeah. Like the cop's a bad guy. Right. The cop's not a bad guy. He's doing his job. He sees a dude walking down the street with a freaking pistol. Right. He wants to know what it is. He wants to know everything's cool. Absolutely. And this idea of baiting cops and, you know, the same guy on that video, the same dude that's on that video would be the same guy that would call the cops when somebody breaks into his house. Sure. He's the same guy.
yet he wants to screw with the cops. Okay. There's not a stock 90 stature. What's your last name, Jeremy? Huh? I'm not going to tell you your last name. Okay. What? Why? Why? Because he doesn't have to. Because he doesn't have to. This is like, remember the Don't Touch My Junk, the guy that went through the TSA scan? Oh, yeah. That guy was from Oceanside, too. Yeah. Probably the same guy. He went into the, what do you call it, the scanners that scan your body. Well, he didn't want to go through the scanner. Right. He opted for the pat-down. Right. And then he said, if you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested. Yes. You're not going to load up, right, while you're walking on the street? No. Cops writing down the info. Yep. Wasting. He's wasting this cop's time. Absolutely. When the cops should be patrolling, you know, doing something like that. Well, it should look good on YouTube either way. You already getting put for it? I don't know. Sometimes people do it. I understand. And you're right. I'm the first one to be an advocate for that. Make sure you get a good picture of me so you know exactly what I look like. Because you've got a statement to make here. I'm all for that. Believe me. After 22 years in the Marine Corps, I don't have a problem with that. The problem I have is we also have a lot of folks during the holidays. But sometimes they have other issues going on.
and we don't know what your agenda is. Jeremy, thanks for your cooperation. Thank you, sir. And remember, my name is... Your lack of cooperation. Right. There's Officer Lyons with the Oceanside Police Department. My badge number is 1093. Love him. Love him. Love that guy. Aren't you the one, though, that talks about, you know, it's your right? You know, it's in the... Absolutely. To bear arms. Absolutely. He's bearing arms. Yeah. The problem is, is that it's a bait. Do you understand? It's not like he's doing it because he's going, I genuinely want to protect myself. You don't know that. Yes, I do know it. Because he's filming it. A, he's filming it. A, he's filming it. Because he doesn't know if he's going to get his ass beat. No, I'll tell you how I know. A, he's filming it. And B, there's no clip in the magazine. There's no magazine in the gun. Well, my question is, is it illegal to have bullets on you? Or how does that work? It's illegal to have a loaded pistol on you. So if you have the bullets in your pocket. or the clip in your pocket or on your belt, you're fine. Yes. So you can carry a weapon. So he's doing something. So he's doing, as far as I know, but he's doing something to bait the cop into going, hey, what's going on here? And he goes, ha ha ha. I don't have a magazine in. I don't have a clip. What are you going to do? And he's right. I didn't hear a ha ha ha. No, no, you're right. You didn't hear a ha ha ha. That's because he didn't say ha ha ha. One of the things that I think was really cool about the cop.
was that the cop was cool with him, even though he was indignant. Right. And he was clearly baiting the cop. Now, from what I understand, there's more than one. There's a few people that are doing this in Oceanside. And it's not concealed. It's like clearly showing. It's a carry. So what if he, I mean, if he concealed it, though, and then all of a sudden it's a whole different thing. If you don't have it on your hip, if you have it on a shoulder holster. If you have what's called a CCW, which is a carry and conceal weapon. which is that takes some work to get. Yeah. Most people can't get it. You can conceal a weapon. Yeah, I've heard that most people cannot get it in California. Most people cannot get it. Texas, no problem. Yeah. Right. Now, showing a pistol, if you're walking down the street showing a pistol, which apparently is your right to do, do you think that maybe... A cop should take a look at you? Yes. And don't you think that as normal people, we would want that? Because as soon as somebody, some nut job walks into a place and shoots it up, people are going to go, well, the cops didn't do anything about it. Well, then the law should be changed. Well, maybe it should. It should 100% be changed. Maybe it should. But why is this guy baiting cops?
Wasting time. Because he can. Because he can. Just because he can. Because he can. Because it's legal. Not because it's legal, Jay. He's being a D. He is being a jerk. Hey, then change the law. Change the law. There's a lot of laws out there that we're not pushing the envelope. It's always the gun advocate. I'll get it out in a minute. That is, thank you, that says, oh, no, it's our right. It's our right to bear arms. And it's a whole different world we live in now. Because they used to walk around with guns on their hips. But we don't. But I know they used to. Now they are again. It's like, hey, you want it all, you can't have it all. He didn't have it for protection. How do you know? Because there's no clip. There's no magazine in it. But he's not allowed to carry a magazine in it. Right. Not in it, but on his hip, I guess. What if he's got a magazine in his pocket? I don't know what the law is. You can protect yourself. Woods, if I jump out of a bush, you're not going to have time to reach into your pocket. I kick you in the balls, then I do. Put it in the... Put the magazine in the chamber and chamber it. Right. But the guy's being a jerk. There's no two ways about it. I mean, if that's your argument, that that guy's being a dick, then he is. And he's baiting the guy. He's baiting the guy. M1 Tom. Hey, the reason that they're bringing awareness to this is because a new law was signed in 2012 banning open carry.
And so there's a lot of people that are upset about this, and so they're trying to raise awareness that it's another step toward taking away our rights. It's a civil liberties thing. Okay, here's my question. Before the law was changed, could you walk around open carrying a pistol with a round in the chamber? No. You could have it unloaded with a clip on your belt. You can't have it in your pocket because then that's considered concealed. Yeah, and I just, I think that that is so freaking moronic. You're not going to protect yourself with an empty pistol. The interesting thing about the new law is it's going to be illegal to open carry empty pistols, but you can still carry rifles, assault rifles. So now you're going to start seeing guys protesting with their long rifles out. Awesome. It'll be like the Civil War days. So they'll be carrying around the rifle with no ammunition in it to make a point. And meanwhile, we don't know if they're a nut. The cop is doing something admirable by stopping the guy and going,
Everything cool? I would call the police if I saw someone walking down the street. Of course. And you know what you would do? You would waste resources by doing it because they'd have to go follow up on it. Meanwhile, somebody's parents are dying. Right. Or somebody's kid is in trouble and they need a cop to come over and help. But the cop is talking to conceal and carry agenda guy. I'm sorry. It's just dorky. It's just dorky. M1 Anonymous is training law enforcement. Are you there? Yes. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm prior law enforcement, and it's my understanding with the open carry is you are able to carry an open firearm on your hip, like the other gentleman said, magazine in clear sight. But as law enforcement, you're not able to run their name. You're not able to find out whether they are a convicted felon who aren't supposed to be in possession of any firearm. and you're not able to run the weapon to see if maybe it's stolen. Basically, all you have to do and all you can do is verify that it is unloaded. Wow. Which is what he did. How is that loophole in there? I don't know. But, like, here's this guy out there just going, well, I can do it, so I'm going to. He's occupying the Constitution. He did his homework. Yeah, he did his homework. It's a statement. It's a civil liberties statement or whatever it is.
M1 Eric is there. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Eric from Oceanside. Go ahead. Okay. The whole reason that we have this open carry policy in the first place is because it's not just to protect us from criminals, but also from the government. If you look at history, every time a government decides to start moving more towards a police state in a dictatorship, the first thing they do... Before you get into that. Before you get into that, okay? Okay. Are you a proponent of open carry? Just be honest. Yeah, I am. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hang on. So I'm going to interview you. Okay. You're a proponent of it. Meaning, yes, you believe that we should be walking around with guns as long as you can see them. Absolutely. Okay. You should have to be licensed for it, just like you get a driver's license. And you should have to go in for a yearly call. That clown wasn't licensed. Well, you don't have to have a license now, but as Wood said earlier, change the law. How do we know that guy didn't have a license? Because a license for that doesn't exist. Oh, for a... Yeah. But if you have to be licensed, then the police officer still has to stop and discern who's licensed and who's not. That's such a waste of time. And that's interesting to me that he cannot say...
I need to see your ID. I need to run your ID and make sure this guy's an armed robber and he's carrying an empty gun. I mean, that's that's pretty sketchy. Don't you think? Yeah, totally. But at the same time, I mean, there's this myth that the police are there to save us from when something happens and that can't happen. They're not psychic. They're not going to magically teleport there. You know what, Eric? What about the next time you're in some serious trouble and you need the cops? Are you going to call Ghostbusters? You going to call Ghostbusters to come and help you out? No, but by then I'm already a victim of a crime. Right. And guess who you want to come and help you? He's trying to say he can help himself. Oh, really? Really with that bit? Are you going to help yourself? If he's armed. Yeah, we don't need any cops. Please. Dude, you just did a story like two weeks ago about that MMA guy who the dude tried to mug him at gunpoint and the guy laid him out. Right.
The guy was an MMA guy. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. Woods isn't. And guess what? If somebody breaks into my house, I'm not calling Ghostbusters. I'm calling the police department. For sure. Will that be the first thing you do? Yes. The first thing you do is go down to them while they're attacking their wife and kid. Listen, if I have the opportunity, I'm going to blow their head off. Right. If somebody comes into the house. If I have the opportunity. But who are you calling? I mean, who are you calling? That's what he's saying. You have the right to bear arms in your house. Yes. If someone comes in here, you can have a loaded gun and you can protect yourself. Yep. He's a proponent of why shouldn't you be able to walk around and protect yourself? Because there's too many nuts. Exactly. Too many nuts. And I think we, well, I guess we can't all agree on it. And I'm a gun guy. I'm a gun guy. I, you know, but please with this. Should be permitted regardless. But how do you, how do you figure out who is? I mean. You do a psych eval when you license them. I mean, you should be part of it. But I'm saying, walking down the street, how is a police officer supposed to know who...
the psychopath is and who the license permitted gun carrier is. Exactly. Imagine there's 50 people at the Starbucks they're all carrying and you don't know which one the whack job is. I tell you, I walk into Starbucks and I see 50 people sitting around reading the paper and I see a lot of pistols. I'm feeling pretty uneasy. I'm not going out in public. I'm feeling very uneasy about it. Seriously. If a wacko decides to come into a coffee shop and shoot everybody there and everyone else is armed, he's the only one getting shot. Yeah, but it's just that it's that what makes you feel more comfortable. You know, it's I'm all for protecting myself, too. But, man, the thought of carrying a gun on my person every day would flip me out. And how about this, dude? How about the hotheads of the world? How about the woods is of the world? Go to Texas. Yeah, you get into a fight. Everyone has a gun. Everybody has a gun. In Arizona, in Arizona, the laws are really relaxed. Like if you want to conceal a weapon in Arizona, basically you send in a little postcard. Have at it. Yeah.
It's a wild, wild west. My mother-in-law used to carry a loaded pistol under her seat everywhere she went. You know why? Because she could. And she'd use it if she had to. Hey, I'm all for defending yourself. I really am, man. I'm all for defending yourself. And I'm all for gun advocacy. What I'm not for is the idea that a... that baiting cops in Oceanside or anywhere in San Diego County is in any world okay. To me, it's so messed up. Do your homework or do the legwork and lobby or whatever you have to do, but taking up time like that by making this public display is just a waste of everybody's time. Agreed. Occupied. Speaking of police, did you hear about the arrest of B-Zow, doo-doo, zoopity-bop? Can't make up names. Bop, bop? Yep, I did. I did. You need to isolate Mikey saying that whole thing. That's the real name. What was it again? Be... Beezoo... Doodoo... Zippy... Nah, I messed it up. And let me give it to you clean. Let me give it to you clean. Alright. Beezoo... Doodoo... Zippity bop... Bop bop. I'll tell you why he was arrested. Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants.
Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949Mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. FM 94.9. This report brought to you by Massey Nissan. At Massey Nissan Escondido, get a 2011 Nissan Versa for only $14,998. Go to MasseyUseCars.com now. That VIN number 478-661. What looks like we've got still an incident here on the 15 northbound before the 163. They're waiting on tow trucks. Another one, an accident on the 805 northbound at the 274, the eastbound off-ramp. Then you have a backup all the way behind it here on the 805 northbound, the 52 east to... About Balboa Avenue, it's about 16 miles an hour. Some delay due to another accident on the 805 southbound at Home Avenue. And you've got some backup on the 94 westbound, the 5 south connector to about Home Avenue. That's 21 miles an hour. It goes from 21 to 9 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Exxon Mobile. At Exxon and Mobile, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. Just one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen.
FM 94.9. What's up there, summer sunshine? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Feels like summer. Tonight, no effects in Lagwagon or at House of Blues. The show is sold out. Tomorrow night, you can see the Wailers at House of Blues. Everest will play the Casbah on the 13th. And on Sunday night, Transfer headlined the Casbah with silent comedy. Monday night, the silent comedy headlined the Casbah with Transfer opening. The Howells are having their CD release party at the Casbah on the 27th. Sarah Watkins of Nickel Creek will sit in with the Howells that night. Also playing Jesse LaMonica in the Dime Novels and Family Wagon. And you can see Not a Surf at 4th and B on the 28th. And still to come this year, shows from Dr. Dog, Young the Giant, Craig Finn, Chili Peppers, Vlogging Molly, Colts, and Rise Against. So there you have it. Get out there and shoot some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com.
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Lose the weight and get healthy in 2012 with the help of 1-800-GET-THIN. That's 1-800-953-5000. Never stop learning at SDSU's College of Extended Studies. Career advancement training, check. Certificates and degrees for working adults, check. Personal enrichment courses, check. Online programs, check. Something for everyone? You bet. Just visit SDSU's College of Extended Studies online at NeverStopLearning.net. That's NeverStopLearning.net or call 619-265-SDSU and find out how you can improve your life through education today. Cox Super Savings Tip number one. When you buy in bulk, you save. And the best way to save a bundle is to get a bundle from Cox, including Cox High Speed Internet. Rated fastest internet in America by PCMag.com. Plus Cox Digital Telephone with savings of up to $10 a month over the phone company. And Cox Advanced TV with tons of HD programming. Cox High Speed Internet, Cox Digital Telephone, and Cox Advanced TV. Each for just $25 per month for six months. Order now and get free professional installation. Plus ask about free DVR. To order, visit Cox.com today.
Bundle the best and save the most with the Cox Bundle. When you want to get more and spend less, we're there. Cox. Limited time offer available to new customers. Equipment rental and other fees not included. Actual speeds vary. Other restrictions apply. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Excuse me, Mr. Zoppity Bop Bop. Talk to you about you concealing a knife. Well, the reason I say that is it's a true story. A guy in Wisconsin legally had his name changed to Beezow Doodoo. Zoppity Bop Bop Bop. That's a true story. That's probably how you say it. Scat name. Yeah. He is 30. Of course he is. Of course. Yeah. He is. Can I see his name? I want to see it. Read it. Okay. B-Zow-Doo-Doo Zoppity Bop Bop Bop. B-Zow-Doo-Doo Zoppity Bop Bop Bop. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. Yeah, right? There's got to be an approval process. Yeah.
The lady at the thing is like, all right, am I going to sign off on this? Well, it's a big stamp on it. You're good to go, B-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z-O-Z- Can't fit on a credit card or an ID. Can't have it. What's his first name? Bezal? Bezal. His last name is? Hello. Hello. Bezal. Bezal. Gosh, there's nothing wrong with that. And if she left a bop off, and by she, I mean the nurse that's calling him back. Right. He would make sure to say it's actually Zoppity Bop Bop Bop. Wow. Not just Zoppity Bop Bop. That guy ate too much acid. Hope he never buys a house because you have to sign your name a bunch. Hope he never goes on the television show Wipeout because that might take him a while too. Filling out paperwork. Oh my gosh. He just puts B scribble Z scribble. He looks like... Who does he look like? Jesus.
No. Yes, he has the... He looks like Kid Rock and Jesus. Yeah, Kid Rock and Jesus. Like what you see pictures of Jesus looking like. He does. Except with a slimy Kid Rock face. And he's got a butt cut right down the middle, like a part. Yeah. Yeah, like a white line right down the middle of his head. He's got more grease than Crisco in that hair. Yeah, he does. You're going to be shocked to know that he was booked on possession of marijuana. What? So weird. Marijuana cigarettes. Right. All right, earlier you told me Snoop got booked on that. Now you're telling me B-Zow. B-Zow, doo-doo. B-Zow. It's ridiculous. Doo-doo, zoppity, bop bop. B-Zow, zoo, bop bop, bippity, bop bop. Why would he put the doo-doo in there? B-Zow, doo-doo. It's his middle name. It's his middle name. That was actually his real middle name, doo-doo. So that party didn't change. His name used to be Larry. Do-do. Freaking David Lee Roth. Justin Gigolo. Yes. We should have known back then. He's going to graduate. Genius. So there it is. Good luck to you. Four in five men now have body image issues. Weird.
You shouldn't laugh. More than women. More than women now. Get that fatty some mud flaps, big old jiggly fatty butt. D. I wonder if that's why. Yeah, maybe that's why. You guys are getting soft. Because there's people like Jay in this world. Yeah. 80.7% of men. Oh my gosh. Or more than four in five admit that they have body image issues. I blame the magazines. It's definitely the magazines. It's not the magazines. It's bullies. Real men don't look like that. Jay Isbell. You're looking kind of fat. Look at these arms. Fat, fat, fat. Daddy's little fatty. Oh, you'll never get a prom date with all that tub on your face, you know. Sorry that that drop had to play in the middle of what I was saying because I had to wait 30 seconds. That 40 second drop. But you guys really, you can't. I had a cup of coffee during that drop.
I went number two. Came back. I picked up this magazine for you to tell you to stop comparing yourself. Only 75% of women have the issues. That's shocking. 80.7% of men, 75% of women. I bet more men have it. They're just too proud to admit it. Yeah. It's probably 100% of men. It's 100% of men and it's 100% of women, isn't it? No, it is not. 30% of men say they've heard someone refer to their, quote, beer belly. Yeah. More of a keg in Wood's case. Good one. Gallender. This is a really good one, Gallender. More of a keg. This is original. It's like the whole burry. It's like the whole burry right there. You got ballast point in your belly. 19% of men have heard someone call them chubby. Oh, God. On a daily effing basis. How about that?
And 19% of men have heard someone talking about their man boobs. Yet again, on a daily basis. Bring on the biggins. I hate you. Oh, it's the worst. Oh, it's the most cutting. It's cut so deep, the laugh. I wonder if this was like a multiple choice survey. They were asked, like, what do you hear people talk about the most? Would it be your big flabby boob? Your muffin top. Your muffin top. Your fupa. Hey, Charlie Weiss. Your dunlap. You can't see too well. Is that Charlie Weiss over there? Oh, boy. That's why you wear those pleated khakis, huh? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Poor guys. It's really serious. Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
This report, it's brought to you by Wawanisa. Wawanisa Insurance with roadside assistance. They're one call away. Always 1-800-640-2920. Well, it looks like we've got a lot of slowing here as you travel on the 805 northbound from University Avenue to the 94 East. It's about 25 miles an hour. Same story here on the 15 northbound. It's a little slower even, the 8 east to the 805 northbound. We're in the teens in some spots there. Heading towards La Mesa, you're going to find a backup on the 8 westbound, Lake Murray, 70th Street, down to Center Street between 20 and 27 miles an hour. A couple accidents, one on the 805 northbound on the 274 eastbound off-ramp. Then you've got another one there. They've got tow trucks on the scene here on the 15 northbound right before the 163. This report also brought to you by Subway. You can enjoy the deli-style taste of the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt. Piled high pastrami, spicy mustard, pickles and cheese. Get the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt today. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. Let me tell you something. AIS is making some great deals and saving people a lot of money. And it could be you. It's very fast. It's one call.
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You bet. Just visit SDSU's College of Extended Studies online at NeverStopLearning.net. That's NeverStopLearning.net or call 619-265-SDSU and find out how you can improve your life through education today. This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today. Chase brings the bank to your business with a quick deposit check scanner. Deposit checks into your Chase business checking account at any time without having to leave the office, which speeds up cash flow and gives you more time to get everything else done. Whether that's talking to suppliers, finishing reports, or finally launching the company website. And we are online, people. Sign up now and get a Chase quick deposit scanner for free. Stop into a branch or go to chase.com slash business quick deposit to learn more. More convenient business banking. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Subject to approval, monthly service fees apply, two-year service agreement required, and cancellation fees apply. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan, Chase McKenna, member of DIC. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about.
We want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. Now at McDonald's, 32-ounce large soft drinks are only 69 cents. Quench your thirst with a 32-ounce large Coca-Cola or choose from a variety of icy cold soft drinks for just 69 cents. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. 2012 is officially here. Happy New Year, everyone. I'm sure you got some resolutions. Woods, any resolutions for you? Oh, yeah, I have several resolutions, but probably the only one I'll be able to stick to is using ovation cell therapy the entire year.
I think you can actually stick to that. I think so too. And I've been using Ovation for over a year now. Everybody always tells me how great my hair looks. So I decided to give the gift of Ovation this holiday season. I got my cousin on it. I got my aunt on it. They started already with the gift of beautiful hair. Absolutely. And I started using Ovation because my wife Jamie was using it. She looks phenomenal. My friend Lauren O'Brien was using it. Her hair looks phenomenal. It's only the right thing to do. Did you slip any men's max packs into anyone's stockings this year? Absolutely. Oh, good for you. Give Ovation a try for yourself. It's 100% guaranteed. It's safe. It's non-toxic. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout to get a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM949. Good news for anyone with a roofing problem. Because you could use a little. GAF Timberline Shingles have a lifetime limited warranty and are backed by GAF's advanced protection technology for long-term performance and wind resistance no matter where you live. They're North America's number one seller, and they're affordably priced at the Home Depot. Just like everything else you'll need for an integrated watertight roofing system. GAF Shingles. Quality you can trust.
See limited warranty for complete coverage and restrictions. Every day, it's the same old thing. All work, no play, and no free lunches. Will at Harrah's Ring Con break the routine? All you have to do is play 30 minutes, earn 25 reward credits, and you'll get a free buffet. There's no strings attached, just big, juicy pieces of prime rib. Offer valid from Sunday through Thursday, open to close. Harrah's Ring Con. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No one to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Recon Band of Luis San Juan. Finished by H. Cal LLC. Copyright 2012. Caesar's License Company, LLC. Want the best in home entertainment? Visit TimeWarnerCable.com today for a special offer customized just for you. That's TimeWarnerCable.com. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. Most of us do not have to worry about being in the 12% of people that will be audited.
The IRS audited 12.5% of people making more than a million dollars a year. Oh, I'm in good shape. That's one in eight. I'm in way good shape. They also audited 4% of people making $200,000 or more. That's one in 25. Still in very good shape. They only audited 1% of people making less than $200,000 a year. No audit. That is one in 100. I live in perpetual fear of being audited. Me too. I don't know why. And I don't save my receipt. I don't either. I don't save anything. And that's why I'm just perpetually in fear. What happens if you get audited and you don't have a receipt? You're in trouble, dude. I know, but what do you do? Pay. You pay for that item? Well, you pay fines and taxes. You pay fines. Yeah, they just fine you. I'm so scared that I'm going to get a phone call. Why are you saying this on the radio?
That's a good point. That's a great point. I have. Really great. My books are impeccably. Mine are immaculate. I can't wait to be audited. That's more like it. 15 years. Yeah, 15 years. Some people say save them for seven. I save them for 15. I save them for double that. Plus one. Plus one. Savvy. Savvy. Yes. Clever. Savvy. Yes. L.O.B., by the way, I would guess, would, I think you keep good records. I do. I think that you do. I do. She does not. I save things. She does. She can prove where she bought everything. I save them, and if I don't, I shred them. Is that a true story? Yes. I bring them into work to use a work shredder. That is a true statement. I used to have a shredder, but I sold it when I moved to Australia. That girl right there is just a cornucopia. Yeah, she is. Was it a cross shredder? Yes, it was. You could shred credit cards if you wanted to. That's what ours is. Lauren had a shredder. Sold it. You don't have a shredder? And sold it. You gotta have a shredder. I had a garage sale. It's not that, Jay. It's that Lauren had a shredder. And sold it. And sold it. I shred like this. It's not enough. Not enough. It's just not enough.
No, there's still numbers. You have to make tiny ribbons. Which I did manually for a while until I realized we had a shredder here. I did. She's fantastic. That is true. My first favorite football team is the San Diego Chargers. I love them. My first favorite football team used to be the San Francisco 49ers because I grew up in the Bay Area. But when I came here to San Diego... I developed a relationship with the Chargers that's like a relationship with a girl. I fell in love. And I'm in love with the Chargers. But I still have a thing for the San Francisco 49ers. Well, what about your new thing, your new girl that's walked in? She's just transferred from another school. Yeah. And she just walked in. Who's that? Her name's Tim Tebow. And she has this little sundress on and a cold sore. And you're all the way in. You think. Cold sore.
You think that there's something going on with that Tim Tebow? What did we say? Foreign exchange? She's not foreign. She's just the new girl that you're obsessed with. Here's the deal. You're reading into it. I am? Yes. Oh, you sure flirt with her a lot. You do. You sit with her at lunch. Talk about her. You talk about her all the time. You recite that verse that she's got on her helmet. Everybody talks about her. A lot of people are talking about her. Big deal right now. Everybody. Do you understand? Oh, yeah. Okay. But the San Francisco 49ers are going to be playing in a playoff game this weekend. Yes. And I've told my wife, I'm not going anywhere. Nice. I will be sitting in front of that television. Watching those San Francisco 49ers play that game. And I hope that they take the New Orleans Saints and put their in the dirt. And then stomp on it. And then wee-wee. And then spank it. And then give it a noogie. Indian burn. Harsh. Pass gas on it. Wow. Oh, my goodness. Gross. And rough it up with the bottom of their boots.
Sounds like Friday Night for Jay. I'll come out here and rough talk him and run him off. Thank you. See you, Woods. New releases? Yeah. You want to do it? Yeah. More like a new release. Yeah, the new release. Well, that's what you call it every week. But this new Snow Patrol record, it's called Fallen Empires. It's out. It's really good. That's a weird song. Their new single's called New York, and it's incredible. I wish I could hear it. This was the most popular song on iTunes, I'll have you know. From their old album? No, it's the newest album. Y'all shut up. I love it. Get some of the snow patrols. Maybe just request a song you want played. I will. Maybe I'm supposed to be a mind reader, Wood. Out on DVD today is Moneyball, which is really good. Up for a bunch of Golden Gloves. Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill. Yeah, you just...
Applaud it. Yeah. Killer Elite, which I've never heard of. All by yourself. Yeah. It's a good movie. I've seen it. I recommend it. Yeah. It's really. Brad Pitt is so good. Everybody saw it. Four Golden Globes it's up for. Wait a minute. That was the movie that all the fans came and met you for, right? Yes. All two of them. Woods did a. Tweet up. Tweet up. Fake tweet up. He made an announcement to our thousands and thousands of listeners and two people showed up. Yes. That was great. Last time I do that. If I'm not appreciated in my own time, then... What are you going to do? And Killer Elite is out on DVD. It's some Rafe Fiennes movie. And Boardwalk Empire Season 1 is out on DVD today. There you go. Feast on that. Yeah. Choke on it. Okay. Well, that's one way to put it. You sound so aggressive. Lovely and talented. Hillary is coming up next, and we'll come back here at 5.30 tomorrow morning and do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out.
It's 94 at 9. 94 minutes of continuous commercial free music every Monday through Friday at 9am. Guaranteed. FM 94.9 is about the music.