The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/16/12

0:00We're working today. It's a holiday. It's Martin Luther King Day, but we're here. So you can call in. Say hi. The number is 570-1949. We'd love to hear from you. Mikey's show is on and ready to go. We even have a microphone that has been installed for our phone screener, Nicole. Say hi, Nicole. Hi, guys. How about that? You can now turn on a microphone in there. It's pretty cool. 570-1949. I don't even know if we have listeners today. We, you know, it's a holiday. I don't know the percentage of people that are actually working. I don't know. A lot of people, I know we don't get mail. And so we got to ask you, are you out there? 570-1949. There's so much stuff that I want to get to. I want to get to just hearing about...

1:17our weekends because Lauren O'Brien, she's an amazing person. Thank you. And she does some amazing person things. And so we're going to hear about it. It has to do with some new furniture. We will discuss. We will also discuss the fact that she was greatly missed. Weren't you? Yeah. On Saturday when we were watching the playoffs. Invited several times. Several very times. Once on the day of. Before that, though. She's got my twitch going. Yep. Getting my twitch. Mission accomplished early today. So you went to L.A. How was that? I did not go there. Oh, you didn't go to L.A. I decided against it. I was not feeling very well. Perfect. Maybe you could have been cheered up by hanging out with your boys. Could have. And we would have made you laugh.

2:17And we would have gotten some good food in you? I would have gotten ignored. No. So ridiculous. Oh, it's 100%. It is not. If Jay was there, I would have gone. Oh, right in the nuts. Because I would have someone to talk to you that way. Yeah, because why would we talk to our good friend that makes funny comments? Yeah, why would we get lost in each other's eyes? Yeah, you guys get in this world that nobody can penetrate. Really? Yeah. That's not a true statement. He is a good friend and a lover. I bet your wives would attest to that. Oh, 100%. No. No, Rebecca was there. She was very involved in the conversations. Absolutely. Making funny observations. Sleeping. Sleeping. I don't believe it. Making us cinnamon rolls. Touch my body. Give me one funny comment she said then. She was talking about...

3:12Yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Here's your chili dog. No, she did make a couple of funny comments. She made some good ones. She said something about, oh, she was jumping in when we were talking about oysters. Yeah, oysters. Oh, but you can't remember what she said. No, but it was just funny. Can you guys name one funny thing that each other said? No. No. One, I got Mike pretty good when I noticed that the kicker was wearing a glove again. And that gets Mike real good. That makes me laugh. When the guy was wearing one glove. And I said, why do you have a glove on? Kicker on the football team was wearing a glove. Why do you have a glove on? Why are you wearing a glove? Okay, why one? One hand's warmer than you. Right, exactly. Why do you have one glove on, you dickass? Oh, man. Makes me insane. That's funny. It doesn't matter who you are. That's funny. Jay, my monitor's not working up here. That is so weird. So strange. Mikey Show, who's this? Oh, this is Zach from M1, Zach from Oceanside. How are you? Fine. Good. How y'all doing this morning? Good. We're here, and you are too, which is good. Oh, yeah. I always listen. What are you doing?

4:30Trying to turn the security monitor off at our office so the cops don't show up. You just getting there? Yep. Right on. Were you calling just to say hi and check in? Yeah. Y'all said a few more. I was listening. Yep. That a boy. There you are. Nice to have you. Tell your friends. Yeah. Give us a good one today, huh? It's a done deal. That's right. Are you the only guy there at the office? Well, yeah. It's 530 in the morning. Yeah. Hard worker. Crazy. Fair enough. That's identical J. Isbell on the phone. It is. I'm from around Conroe. No kidding. Wow, that's where Jay's from. Conroe, Texas. How about that? How old are you? I'm 32. Well, you're two young. Maybe your baby's sat by Jay. Jay might have made sex to one of your sisters. Wow, that was uncomfortable. He's probably long gone before I was born. What do you do for a living? I'm in grad school right now, getting a master's in teaching, but I test, repair, and install. Backflow prevention devices. Backflow prevention devices. That's what I used to do before I came here. You did the backhoe prevention devices? I was kind of an expert. Holy cow. I could use one of those after some chicken wings. That's true. That's a true story. It's a true story. All right, buddy. Hey, thanks for calling. Hey, you guys have a good one, all right? You too. It's identical, Jay. That is so funny. It sounds just like Jay. It does. Mikey Show, who's this? Emily and Jesse, both of these guys.

6:01Hi. How's it going? It's going all right. I mean, oh, you didn't really care. I was trying to see how much cantaloupe you have to eat today. I don't know. One slice. Not a slice. No, it's not a slice. One cantaloupe. One piece. I have to eat a piece of cantaloupe, which to me is like eating rotten food. Yep. Smells rotten, tastes rotten to me. I thought it was like one slice per incomplete batch. No, it was per turnover. Per turnover. Per turnover. Now, I wish I had said per negative play, because there were, God, there was a bunch of those. I wouldn't have taken that bet. I didn't know. Per times he ran backwards. Yeah. And got sacked. Yeah. Gosh, darn. Oh, awesome. I can't wait to hear that. Thank you. Have a good day. You too. So far, only two people have called, and they've both been from Oceanside. I guess Oceanside doesn't celebrate Martin Luther King Day. I know. Why are you all racist up in Oceanside? I don't know. Who knew? You guys don't like dreams? You guys remember when I said, when it comes to Martin Luther King Day, we shouldn't make any jokes at all that pertain to Martin Luther King Day. Oh, you were talking to us. Oh, yeah. I don't remember that. I was talking to a mouse in your pocket. I was getting sports stories together, so I am excused. 570-194-9. Shit. I'm starving. Me too. I really am. I got an orange. You don't look like you're starving.

7:27Looks like you're well-fed, Mike. Don't look like you. He's not literally starving. You could go the whole winter without eating a bit. Well, a couple winters. You don't hibernate? Yeah. You're not a hibernate? You've got a layer there, don't you? Mike, I bet you could probably go to Antarctica and just jump in the water and be fine. Yep. You part of that polar bear club that goes freezing cold water, gentlemen? It's not fair, though, for you to participate. It's like bath water to you. Oh, my gosh. New show on National Geographic Channel called Drugs, Inc., and they show manufacturing of stuff. It's nice. It's crazy. What'd you see? Hashish. Ooh. How they make it. That's always good to show people. Yeah. Well, you can't make it here. I mean, it takes skill. It takes the right conditions. And it takes people with know-how. And it takes a lot of capital to be able to pull that together. It smells like perfume. It does? From what I hear. From what you hear. It's in my chapstick. It is? No. Yeah, it smells like perfume. Have you smoked hash? As far as you know. Oh, you creep.

8:54And then I saw one on ecstasy, which I still, I caught the end of this program, so I didn't get to see the whole episode, but I still don't know what ecstasy is. I think I saw three Japanese kids take ecstasy at Torrey Pines this weekend. What do you mean? They were popped, they had something in their hand, little pills, and they popped them, and I came around the corner, and they were like, and then we passed them again later on the trail, and they were acting very funny. Speaking Japanese. How do you know that they weren't taking, were they all sharing the medicine? One guy had it in his hand and the other two were like taking from it and put it in their mouth. That's drugs. Yeah, definitely. I can't imagine Torrey Pines doing something like that. It was so weird. Maybe it was acid. I don't know. But they were all huggy, huggy later when I saw it. Was it a pill? I don't know. I couldn't really tell. Acid is one of them too on Drugs, Inc. They show how they make hallucinogens. Ecstasy is a derivative of MDMA. What is that? Which is pure ecstasy. How do you know so much about it? Yeah. You know what hash smells like? You make meth. Back in the day, when Jay was probably 21, 22, ecstasy in Texas was legal. You could walk into a club and they would have jars on the bar. And they were, what, five bucks a pill? And you walk up and it was pure MDMA.

10:19What's MDMA? MDMA is a shortened version of the long chemical makeup of it. So they just shorten it to MDMA. Like LSD is short for lysergic something something. Don't act like you don't know. I don't. You don't have to feign ignorance. I'm not, but. Well, then why do you wear a shirt right now? You have a shirt on. It says, I make, produce, and sell, and manufacture. Drugs. And he has a little button or lapel or something that says Dr. Drugs. It says Dr. Drugs. But it's a name tag stitched onto your smock, your white smock that's dirty with some sort of residue powder. I think it's like resin. The bad X used to be they would mix heroin and speed. And that would be X. Phone screener Nicole is 19. Do you know anything about ecstasy? Oh, yeah. What is it? What is it? What do you mean when you ask? Like, what does it do to you? Okay, like pot. I know what pot is. Pot's a plant. Right. And you smoke it. Yeah. Okay? Heroin is a derivative of a poppy plant. Right. Yeah, albeit. Okay. I know that, for instance, okay, oxycontin? Yeah. Oxycontin is essentially heroin. Right. It's pharmaceutical-grade heroin. What is ecstasy?

11:44It's a pill, right? Yeah, it's a pill. Nowadays... What does it do to you? What? You want a hug? What have you heard, Nicole? What have you heard it does? It takes all the serotonin equal of one month and gives it to you in one night. Whoa. So is it like... So it makes you feel really good and really happy. Really happy. Happy. Well, this guy, they showed on the... It was in Miami. And they were having a big... music festival like Coachella type deal. Yeah. My buddy has been to that. In Miami? Yes. I can't remember what it's called. Oh, is it Ultra? It was probably that. But all I know is that they were talking to the paramedics and the paramedics said, tonight's going to be a busy night. Oh, yeah. Because a lot of people will overdose on ecstasy. And so they show this, they follow this paramedic and he goes to get this guy, 24-year-old guy. He's sitting on the curb. He stumbled out of this concert and collapsed. And when they get there, he's sitting up. And he says, I think I'm going to die. And they said, you're not going to die. What'd you take? Ecstasy. How much of it did you take? I turned him out. Okay. How much did you take? Two pills. He says, I'm going to die. You're not going to die. You're having a bad trip. Now, they get this guy into the ambulance.

13:12And he thinks he's having a heart attack because his heart is racing. And it does make your heart race. He got the speedy one. The speedy one. Yeah, it's got speed in it. Pure MDMA? No, none of that. But with the speed, it's like meth and heroin mixed together. It brings you down, go up, brings you down, go up. It's called rolling. What happens when it makes you throw up? That's actually what they say. When you take X and then you throw up, that's when it kicks in. And that's usually heroin-based ecstasy. So some ecstasy is actually made with heroin? Yeah, can be. My goodness. They're all bad for you. That was the other point that they made in this TV show. They said, A, most people already take something for something. Right. For instance, maybe you take something for your allergies. Maybe you take something for your asthma. Or maybe you take something for something. Yep. And then you go into a place and you buy a drug. and you don't know where it came from or what it was made out of, and you take it. It's the height of stupidity. It's like Russian roulette a lot of times. But unfortunately, when you are young, and I can attest to this because at one point I was young, you're bulletproof. You think you're bulletproof. Nothing's going to stop you. They say it burns a hole in your brain. They said it heats your body. The thing with X, too, is it's called rolling. So you feel like you go up.

14:41And then you come down and you're like, oh, you know what? It's done. It's over. My role's over. I'm going to take another one. And then you feel like you're coming down again. You're like, I'm going to take another one. And that's when people just get ridiculous. They say it makes you do things like wet t-shirt contests. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. I know you like to hug a lot of people. Yeah, you do like to hug. Maybe blow in somebody's ear real good. You know what you do? I mean, I say you and I mean like the general public. Other people. Yeah. Sometimes you forget what's going on, you just start kissing men. But you know what? It ain't your fault. You're high on a trip with ecstasy. You might be a burning man. You might be a burning man kissing a guy. You might be in a natural hot spring and you don't care what's what. You might have your hand down a guy's loincloth. And you don't know. You don't know? This must be your internal voice. And you don't know because you're out there just wearing a t-shirt with a unicorn on it. And you don't know. And you're just flipping burgers and making hot dogs. Short shorts, hot pants. Hey, you thought you were eating a hot dog. That's all. You don't know. You don't know. And you don't care. And you don't care. And you don't really care. M1 Courtney is on the line from San Diego. Hi, Courtney. Good morning. How are you guys doing? Good. What are you up to?

16:05I'm volunteering at the Martin Luther King All People's Breakfast. You're a good person. Wow. Sweetheart. Little angel. What are they serving out there? They are serving breakfast. I'm not exactly sure. I'm just an usher, so just a little over. You know, I watched, I was flipping through the TV yesterday. And I saw somebody making scrambled eggs. It looks so delicious. I almost had scrambled eggs for dinner. I almost made scrambled eggs for dinner. You are the guy that advertisements are made for. Because you see something and you want it immediately. Thank you, Courtney. It's sweet to hear from you. Thank you. Have a good day, you guys. That's a great name. Courtney's a good name. Courtney's a really good name. They're fun. Oh, wow. Just fun people. Just saying. I know they're fun people, but when you said they're fun, I know that's not what you meant. Right. What? The dirty Mac. The dirty Mac. No. Courtney's are clean and nice and sweet. There you go. And busty. He makes me. I know. He makes my skin curl. He makes my skin curl. She goes, hey. Yeah. Thank you, Courtney. She's over there volunteering. I know. And you're creeping on her breasts. Oh, gosh. Leave her alone. They're nice and clean. Taught.

17:20They're all taut. Yeah. Oh, gosh. You sliver, limber, limber and taut. Cave dweller from Wisconsin. Hi. Good morning. How are you guys doing? Good. Good. Ray. We're hearing Jay creep on people at 530 in the morning. So gross. Hey, the guy's been away for a whole weekend. What do you expect? I don't care if it's 930 at night. It's still scary, creepy. It's like pent up 24-7. Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. I'm always ready to go. Always. I'm the opposite of frigid. Funeral. Funeral. I don't care. That's actually one of the best places. They're all vulnerable. Operating room. Operating room. There ain't nothing better than somebody out on anesthesia. Death bath. I've got no problem creeping on a death bath. One last gurgle. Gargle. Gargle. A death round. Oh, no.

18:19Oh, no. Oh, no. Shock him back to life. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. What can I do for you, cave dweller? Well, you were talking about, or Woods, rather, was talking about how to make drugs. And Nicole mentioned something about ecstasy. You seem kind of interested in it. Big dork word alert for the morning. Excitotoxicity. What's that? Your brain and your neurons. are designed to operate at a certain speed. So when you take ecstasy and you get that serotonin dump, what you're doing is inducing excitotoxicity and making your neurons fire faster than they're supposed to, which kills them. So every time you take ecstasy, you are giving yourself brain damage. Perfect. Oh, my gosh. Well, it also said that it was giving you brain damage because it heats your body. And when you're already in a hot place dancing, You know, that will, it'll do bad things. They say some people that have taken ecstasy, their body temperature has gotten up to 110 degrees, which is essentially cooking your brain. Yeah, you could only live for a couple of hours like that. Wow. Don't take it. Yeah, the brain, because everything in the brain controls everything else in the body, that's the reason your heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature goes up.

19:47because you're basically causing it to release chemicals faster than it's designed to. Where do you learn these things, cave dweller? Psychopharmacology, Mike. Psychopharmacology. I'm a biopsychology major, and I'm going to be going to grad school for clinical neuropsychology. You're going to get a good job, you're a smart person. You're a smart guy. Save us all. That's right. Thank you for the call. Love you guys. Love you, buddy. There you go. So let's see. I got a few different things I can play for you because of Martin Luther King Day that are just to pay some homage to the man. Check it out. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, be transformed into an oasis of Freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. Boy, that is beautiful. Powerful, man. That is good stuff. That is real good stuff. 2020, on Friday, Madonna was on, and the topic came up of Lady Gaga.

21:19There's one question that almost blew up the internet. Oh. They want to know what you think about Lady Gaga. And do you feel she's copying you? I certainly think she references me a lot in her work. Sometimes I think it's amusing and flattering and well done. I can't really be annoyed by it or insulted by it because obviously I've influenced her. It doesn't feel like a ripoff. No, because she's she and I'm me. Would you ever do a duet with her? It hasn't occurred to me, but never say never. I think that was a very candid, honest answer. The truth of the matter is, if you listen to the song, if you listen to Born This Way by Lady Gaga, it's Express Yourself. Yeah, it is. They asked her about it, and here's what she said. And when you saw Born This Way, did you think... When I heard it on the radio. Yes, I did. I said that sounds very familiar. Yes. How are you born this way? Sounds a little too much. Like Madonna's Express Yourself. And that doesn't feel annoying. It feels reductive. Is that good? Look it up. We did. It means simplified or crude. That was a good answer.

23:01I guess it is reductive. It is. Right? Yeah. Well, I guess she's just saying feast. It's her prerogative. That's Bobby Brown. No, I mean it that way. You can't cross genres like that. Well, truth of the matter is she is ripping her off, but... Now you're ripping off Bobby Brown. Right. That's true. That's true. But I do anyway. The way I dress. Yeah, that's true. The way I walk. The way I talk. The ice in your ears. Yep. All of it. Every bit of it. The ice in my ears right now. It's identical. You're identical. Identical Bobby Brown. I'm married to a woman that looks just like Whitney Houston. It's true. I try to mimic him in every way, shape, and form. Every facet of your life is pretty much BB. You look up to that guy so much. Mostly it's my fashion.

23:52Yeah, mostly it's your fashion. Don't you wear like Bobby Brown makeup too? Yes, I do. That's a different Bobby Brown though. I know. But just to stay on the course. I just want everything to be Bobby Brown related. Is that why you have that Z shaved in your fro? No, I actually like Zima. The drink Zima. I think he drinks that. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Woods will guarantee that fact to you. This is what I've got when we come back. If you didn't hear about the Italian cruise ship, craziness. I'll tell you all about it. There is a massive controversy out there because of some Marines that were urinating on the corpse of some Taliban. I'm interested to know what Woods thinks of it. I am. I really am, Woodsy. I want to take your temperature on that. So we'll do all of it when we come back. Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Rite Aid wants to be your new pharmacy. Transferring's easy. With your list of medications, call 1-800-RITE-AID, go online at riteaid.com, or visit any location, and we'll do the rest. Every prescription gets you closer to 20% off the whole store, fast, with a free Wellness Plus card. Rite Aid accepts most major plans, including those with Express Scripts coverage, so transfer today.

25:17Certain limitations apply. Prescriptions paid for in whole or in part by state or federal health care programs such as Medicare or Medicaid are not eligible for wellness plus points, nor are prescriptions filled in New York or New Jersey. See pharmacist for details. I like my insurance like I like my burrito with everything rolled into one. I'm in a state of craving amigo, so my agent showed me how it's done. We wrapped up my auto, my home and my life. The discounts I'm getting are great. Everything good right there on one plate. Get to a better state, state farm. This is Toyota Today. The best selection. The best dealership experience. And the best ownership experience. Right now, get low 1-9 financing on a new 2012 Sienna or Highlander. Both get great gas mileage. 24 MPG highway for Sienna. 25 for Highlander. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer and save thousands with low 1-9 financing on a new 2012 Sienna or Highlander. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. 2012 EPA estimated mileage. Actual mileage will vary. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealer stock by midnight 131. Offer excludes Highlander Hybrid. For details, visit buyatoyota.com.

26:55This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today. Chase brings the bank to your business with a quick deposit check scanner. Deposit checks into your Chase business checking account at any time without having to leave the office, which speeds up cash flow and gives you more time to get everything else done. Whether that's talking to suppliers, hello, finishing reports, here you go, or finally launching the company website. And online people. Sign up now and get a Chase Quick Deposit scanner for free. Stop into a branch or go to chase.com slash business quick deposit to learn more. More convenient business banking. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Subject to approval, monthly service fees apply, two-year service agreement required, and cancellation fees apply. See a banker for details. JPMorgan Chase, Bank N.A., member of DIC. Have you tried your best to lose weight on your own? Bad diets, workout gimmicks, no carbs, and still no results.

28:04It's time for you to take control and reach your goal. If you want 2012 to be the last time you make weight loss your New Year's resolution, call 1-800-GET-THIN today. If you need to lose 15 pounds or over 100 pounds, 1-800-GET-THIN can help with customized medical weight loss treatments. A weight loss specialist will work with you one-on-one to help you get on the right path to a new you. Call 1-800-GET-THIN to attend a free weight loss seminar today. Your medical weight loss program may be covered by PPO insurance. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now for a free PPO insurance verification and get your new life started today. Let your new life begin. Call 1-800-GET-THIN. That's 1-800-953-5000. I believe I can do anything. So when it came to learning a new language... I knew I had to do it the way I learn. No books, no memorizing or translating. I wanted to learn the same way I learned my first language, naturally. That's why I chose Rosetta Stone. Rosetta Stone invites you to be a part of its biggest language learning event in history. Because in 2012, we want to help 3 million people learn a new language. That's why we're going to give you an absolutely free demo of our language immersion technology.

29:27To participate in this free nationwide event, just call 1-800-644-8667. If I can do it, you can do it. To participate in this free nationwide event, call now for your free demo from Rosetta Stone. Call 1-800-644-8667. That's 1-800-644-8667. When life gets hectic, there's still one thing that gives me plenty of comfort, my Serta mattress. And with the low prices and delivery options at Sam's Club, I get peace of mind too. Hurry in by January 16th while members receive special financing for 18 months on any Serta mattress purchase of $289 or more with a Sam's Club consumer credit card. See club for details. Be sure to ask about delivery and start resting easy before your mattress reaches home. Sam's Club, savings made simple. TurboTax, what's your tax question? Is your Federal Free Edition really free? Yes, it is. And if I have questions, I can call a tax expert? You bet. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how expert-y are you? I'm an 11. Do your simple return with the TurboTax Federal Free Edition. It's free to prepare, print, e-file, and only TurboTax offers free one-on-one expert tax advice for everyone. Live by phone and chat. Go to TurboTax.com. Live tax advice service is free and subject to availability restrictions and change without notice. See TurboTax.com for details.

30:56Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. Your spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those 2 for 350 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. Now at McDonald's, 32-ounce large soft drinks for only 69 cents. Quench your thirst with a 32-ounce large Coca-Cola or choose from a variety of icy cold soft drinks for just 69 cents. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. This report is brought to you by Hornblower Cruises. Gray whales are back. See whales, dolphins, and sea lions up close on Hornblower Whale Watching Adventure. Cruise in comfort on the largest, fastest, most stable whale watching yachts.

32:05Hornblower.com. Problem here this morning on the 5 northbound on Carmel Valley Road, that off-ramp due to an accident that happened a little while ago. A little slowing on the 805 southbound La Jolla Village Drive at Miramar. It's about 44 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Bar and Grill. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calories menu. Great tasty meals starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. Come in and try one today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. Hey, here's your favorite morning show on the radio. It's Martin Luther King Day. And it's a holiday. No mail today. But you can call us, 570-1949. We'd love to hear from you. Let us know that you're listening and that you're here so that we don't feel as if we're doing this radio program for nothing. We know you're out there. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. You listen exclusively to The Mikey Show. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to your point, and you don't cuss. I'm Mikey. I'm the host. I'm 41. Woods is 36. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer.

33:57And she's 31. Jay is our 48-year-old executive producer. And Nicole is 19 years old. She screens phones for us and now has a microphone. Say hi, Nicole. Hey, guys. There you go. So I can now talk to Nicole if I'd like to. We have all kinds of stuff happening today. Even though it's a holiday, we have planned and got a whole big show lined up for you. Word of the day is bonus. Which is kind of what today is. So when I say the word bonus between now and nine, caller number nine, I'll give you tickets to the AMA Supercross Qualcomm. And tickets are on sale now for that event. Plus, I'll enter you to win the grand prize that includes a pair of pit passes and lunch and a track walk. Nice. Pitted. Yeah. It's very pitted. Let's see. So let's start things off and talk about what happened over the weekend. With playoff football, our bet, the whole nine yards. Let's talk some football. Let's talk some football. All right. Let's start where we started the other day. That would be the 49ers game against the New Orleans Saints. They were in San Francisco. And this was an awesome, awesome game, no matter who you were rooting for. Niners jumped out to that early lead, 14-0 in the first quarter. They were forcing turnovers. They were all over the field. And then what happens?

35:26Drew Brees happens, and he starts leading the Saints back. You and I were edge of our seats the whole time. Mike and I were watching the game together. It was one of those games. It was an edge of your seat game. It really was. And, you know, the Niners would give up a lead. They'd get it right back. And then Drew Brees to Jimmy Graham with, it took 34 seconds, four plays. Yeah, you know what? As a matter of fact, it happened so fast. 49ers were leading. Yeah. It happened so fast. that Woods and I changed the channel for just a couple of minutes and hopped back, and they had already scored. They had scored. The Saints did. And so the next thing you know, the Niners get the ball back, and they are driving down the field, and we're like, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. And then this happened. I was screaming. Oh, yeah, you were. It was a really cool moment. Alex Smith has been much maligned in his career, but he was 24-42 for 299 yards and three touchdown passes. It was his first playoff game. It was Vernon Davis' first playoff game. Vernon Davis came off the field in tears, which was a really cool moment. It was. It reminded me so much of the exact same end zone, exact same thing happened.

36:59Between Steve Young and Terrell Owens. And Terrell Owens, this was before Terrell Owens was a nightmare. Yeah. And he came off the field crying. Yeah. It happened in exactly the same way, in exactly the same end zone, and it looked very similar. And I grew up in the Bay Area, so I was so happy. They look good. Yeah. Their defense. is pretty gnarly. They are pretty gnarly. And Alex Smith did a great job. Tip your cap, give credit where credit is due. He played a really, really good game. A really good game. Well, then we get to the game that we were all anticipating. Could the Tebow Magic continue? The bet. The bet. The answer about the Tebow Magic is that no, it could not continue. No. Was one of the ugliest games I've ever seen a quarterback play. Yeah. More negative plays than in NFL history in a playoff game ever. One of our M1s said it better, or said it best when he said, Tom Brady had more touchdowns in the first half than Tim Tebow had completions. Yeah, and that was, he was god-awful. I mean, he was absolutely terrible. Mike and I were watching this game, and we're watching him drop back.

38:18The feet were jumping around. He was looking left, looking right, looking left, looking right. And then, bam, right into the ground. It looked like a professional football team playing a college football team. That's exactly right. It didn't even seem fair. I thought, oh, man, I feel sorry for this team. They're so outmatched. So did Bill Belichick because he sat. Yeah. Tom Brady was a surgeon. Yeah. Threw six touchdown passes. Six. 26 of 34 for 363 yards, six touchdowns and one pick. Tim Tebow, nine of 26 for 136. No touchdowns, no interceptions, but one fumble lost. It was an absolute trouncing. The Patriots had the 31st-ranked defense. They looked like the first-ranked defense. They were unbelievable. They were in that guy's grill all night. I'm so glad that this, you know, he's a great guy and he does so much work with charities and kids that need it. But I'm so glad that I don't have to hear this guy's name for another week. Because that's all we heard last week. That's all we heard. There's a lot of hype. The hype is done. And I'll tell you what. Mark my words. That kid is going to outwork every other player in the NFL this offseason. I promise you. Yeah. And maybe he comes back next year knowing how to throw a football. Maybe not. This is him after the game. Good evening.

39:41Tim, what changes have you seen from the Patriots defense from that first game to tonight? Well, you know, they had a great scheme. They came out and they played well and they executed well, and you've got to give them a lot of credit. Before we talk about that, I just want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and thank my teammates for the effort that they put forth, not only tonight but the entire season. And I also want to thank the Broncos fans for all their support this season, and it definitely meant a lot. I have mixed feelings about him thanking his Lord and Savior. If you want to know more, go to the blog today. I did a whole blog on Tim Tebow. I have mixed feelings about all of it. And it has a lot to do with me, too, because I've proclaimed my Christianity on the air. And so if you want to know my full thoughts, go read them. Nice. It was an absolute surgical game by Tom Brady. How great did that guy look? He looked like a guy at the top of his game. At the absolute top of his game. And he spread the ball around. Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez. Dude, those guys are unbelievable. I don't know where Belichick finds the guys that he finds, but the schemes he comes up with, they look phenomenal. How great would a 49er defense against that offense be in a Super Bowl? That would be a good Super Bowl. It's shaping up. That's actually my pick. Really? Niners, Niners Pats. I hope you're right. Well, the game is, the Niner game against the Giants is going to be next weekend.

41:10Yeah, on Sunday. Niners-Giants next weekend at Candlestick Park, and it is at 3.30 our time. And then the next game is Baltimore at New England. That's the early game. That's at noon our time. But there were two more games yesterday. The Ravens beat the Houston Texans 2013. That game was a lot closer than I thought it would be. Joe Flacco did not have that great a game, but got the job done. And the Giants. Absolutely shocked the world by going into Green Bay, Lambeau Field, and beating Aaron Rodgers and the almost perfect Packers. This is Eli Manning, who had a great day. He was 21-33 for 330 yards and three touchdowns. This is him after the game. We're always confident going into a game. We know that it doesn't matter what happened in the regular season. We've been through games where we lost to teams. face them in the playoffs again, and come out and play well. I think it's just a matter of our team is playing well. I think we guys understand the way to win football games against good teams. Yeah, their defense and their offense are clicking right now, but I still think that there's something about those Niners and their defense that can really get in that cat's face, man, make him make some bad throws. It's going to be a good game. It will be a good game, man. It was a great weekend of football.

42:33Now the bet. There's four left. Now the bet. We got to tell listeners what they're in store for today because Woods and I had a bet on the Bronco game. I said that Woods had to eat an oyster. Oyster. Say it. Oyster. Hold on, hold on. Oyster. Oyster. No, no, no. Watch me. Oyster. Oyster. Oyster. Figured it out. He's been practicing. He's been practicing all weekend. Woods had to eat an oyster for every... completion that Tim Tebow made. He made nine. And I hate oysters. You're eating nine of them. Snot rockets. I have to eat a piece of cantaloupe for every turnover Tim Tebow had, and he had one. I'm very surprised he didn't have more. I am too. But I gotta eat a piece of cantaloupe, and to me, cantaloupe smells and tastes rotten. I don't want to do it, but I have to. Well, could be worse. Could have to eat nine of them. That's true. I have to eat nine cold pieces of snot. Yeah, those oysters are going to get you. I'd rather have the oysters than the cantaloupe. Me too. I love cantaloupe. I love cantaloupe. And then I have to take you guys to lunch today. In a toupee. In a bad toupee. Not just a toupee. And I hope you have a couple of hours set aside for lunch. Why? Because I feel like just relaxing with my friends and having a good time. Just talking to people. Eating, eating, eating. Eating, eating, eating.

43:59Maybe get a coffee afterwards. Lunch is at 11. Maybe we do a happy birthday for you. We're going to do the whole thing for you. Lunch is at 11 at the Cheesecake Factory in Fashion Valley. Do we have the bad toupee? Maybe we can't do it because we don't have a bad toupee. We have a slew of them for you to pick. Oh, do we? Yes. You know we do. Prepared. You know that. Nicole's going through them right now to find the best one. I love it. Oh, I don't want to do that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Feels real good. Just mortified. It's rainy today. Are you guys sure? Maybe we get to pick. We got the Willie Nelson. We got the Willie Nelson. Oh, no. No, we know which one. That's not a toupee. That's a wig. Does anybody know what a toupee is? I do. That's a wig. This is. It has to look real. I think it looks real. It looks real and ridiculous. It's got to be terrible looking. You sure you want to on a rainy day like this? No. Probably won't get anybody out there. I'm all in.

45:05I'm in. These two don't want to go today. Let's just pull the curtain back. Just pull it back. I'd rather go on another day. Do we ever put stuff off on this show? Well... We already said we were going today. Did we? Yeah. It's been online, on Facebook. I never saw it. Yeah, but the listeners... People got a day off today, so they can come down and hang out with us? People are off today. That's a good thing, but here's what I'm worried about. Call us. Let us know. Oh, yeah. They're blowing up the phones. What are you worried about? I'm worried that people come to, you know... They get back to work tomorrow and they go, you guys did this on a day when nobody was working yesterday. Yeah, it's a day everyone can come. No, but phones are blown up. They've got a lot of people out there, yeah. Okay. You are a D. Am. Aren't. Aren't. Am I? Aren't you? I think that's the definition. You can pull the curtain back. Pull the curtain back.

46:04A lot of people out there enjoying that. We'll get good pictures for them to see online. Oh, yeah. They'll have good video. I'm sure they'll love that. Great audio. I'm sure they'll love it. When would you guys like to go? I would like to go on a day we can tell people. How about pick a specific day? You got Monday through Friday. Pick a day. Can't do it on Friday. Can't do it on Friday. Why? Because we have stuff to do. Yes. We have stuff to do on Friday. We can't do it Friday, so we have to do it sometime between. Today and Thursday. Now, it would be great to be able to promote it, let listeners know. Yeah, like we did all weekend. Yeah. Yeah. I would say. For today? Yeah. Well, wait a minute. We weren't on the air this weekend. So how did we do that? We were promoting it on Facebook. And people were saying, I'm in. Right. Again. People were saying. On the radio. I'm in. I'm making reservations. I have the day off. I'm stoked. Oh, well, if people said that on Facebook, then, you know, we should do it. But listen.

47:04Let's go twice. It's a good idea to do it because there's a lot of people listening. I mean, after all. Call in. I believe you, yourself, Mike Esparza, made a mistake. You did? Yeah, I did. I think I did. I mean, I thought about it. I'm like, we're doing this on a holiday. Well, we had originally said Wednesday. No, we didn't. Yeah, we did. We did? Yes. I don't think we did. I was shocked to find out. that it was going to be Monday. So I don't know if everybody saw Facebook this weekend. I didn't. Yeah, and there's a lot of people in the listening audience that didn't. Let's go Wednesday. Like all the ones that are listening. Let's go Wednesday. We should do it around your guys' schedule. We said Wednesday! Yeah, yeah, we should do it then. We should renege. Oh, I'm doing it. Let's go Wednesday. Do you think that the majority of our M1s will say tomorrow...

48:07You guys already did it. They should call us and let us know. Well, they're sleeping in a little bit. Then why are we here? If nobody's listening, what the hell am I doing here? I'll tell you why we're here. Because Jay would have kicked us right in the nuts. That's why. Now listen, there was a letter that was written last, an email that was written last week that said, are you, the Mikey Show, taking Martin Luther King Day off? Because our entire office is, you know, a lot of people are. Jay responded immediately. No, we ain't. We're working. We'll be there. Our GM sent an email out to everyone on Friday and said, I want everyone to go enjoy this three-day weekend. Hey, listen, we ain't. We ain't a bunch of P-words. We ain't a bunch of P-words. I got more cats in my bag that I can let out if we're pulling the curtain back. We ain't a bunch of P-words, man. Why are we all jumping on each other's back? M1 Adrian is listening. Are you there, Adrian? There we go. Hey, Mike. You are listening. Always listening. That a boy. See? Yeah. Hey, I got one word for you. What? Niners. I know it. I know it, dude. Yep, yep. I was stoked about it. I want to thank you guys for airing today so I can be the one listener of this list. Thank goodness. Perfect. Thanks, Adrian. There's probably three out there. We could have just come to your house then. That's right. We could have made us breakfast. M1 Grant from Vista. Go ahead.

49:32Hey, Mikey Show, I just want to let you guys know, I've been listening since 5.30. I'm rolling into work right now. I'm not happy about it, but I'm here and I'm with you guys. Well, I'm happy. I am happy for the people that are listening right now that have us, but I don't think that there's more people than less. Well, you may be true about that, but I listened and paid attention to Facebook all week, and if I couldn't have to be at work today, I'd be down there in Fashion Valley. There you go. Watching the toupee and all that good stuff. Yeah. All right, well, we'll probably flood that place today. 11 a.m. Probably be standing room only. You're being passive aggressive right now. Probably be standing room only. M1s, if you've ever done anything for me, you show up in droves today. Do you understand me? You show up. If you can get in. I mean, after all. Oh, my God. Why'd you say it then? Because I made a poor judgment. You said it, though, right? Well, somebody asked on Facebook. Somebody said, are you guys doing this at Mikey's house? Yeah. I said, no, we're doing it on Monday. Yeah.

50:33You know, I don't feel like eating oysters today. I'm just going to wait. Oh, no, they're coming in. No, I'm just going to wait. I don't want to. I'm going to do it on Wednesday. I don't feel like it today. No. Nobody's listening. So why would I do it today? Because nobody's listening. You know what I mean? That makes good sense. That makes good sense. I'm going to need a reschedule on those oysters. They are on their way. I'm not eating them today. You have to eat them while they're alive. What? That's the way they're served. They're alive until you crack them. You didn't know that? Yeah. No. They're on the half shell, though, right? Yeah, once you pop it open, you pop it open right in here, and then they're ready to go. If you ate dead oysters, it would be disgusting. That'd be filthy. They're alive? Yes. Well, until the air hits them. Well, until you swallow them. Yeah. But then they're moving around. Mikey! You see inside of here. I've only had oysters one time, and I almost threw up. Oh, you're going to have them today. No, I think I'll do them Wednesday. Nine of them will be moving around in here. We're still swimming. We'll do them Wednesday. You should do them as shots. Like? Oyster shots. Yeah, and the vodka and the tobacco. Oh, man. Gross. I'm one Diet Coke head is on the line. Little angel. From Santee. Hi. Good morning. I'm listening. I'm listening. Good. Yay. Good. We got you. I have to work because my boss is a communist, too. Yeah. Yay. I have a question.

51:53Yes. I thought it was the Mikey show. It is. Why is Jay... Jay calls the shots, man. Jay calls a lot of shots. He's the executive. He's the executive producer. He calls a lot of shots around here. And what are you going to... I don't want to fight with this guy. Hey, when it comes to days off, Mike has no say. None. He don't like us to take any days off. Well, if Jay makes the executive decisions, then I think he should drink the nine oyster straws. No, he'd do it to heart me. He loves oysters. That would be like an appetite. That would be a treat. That would be a treat. He likes sardines out of the can. They put me in the mood, girl, when I eat oysters. You guys don't want to see that. Hey, listen, it's an astrodisiac. I don't give two craps. I'll do it right now. An astrodisiac. An astrodisiac. I would really love to hear some more of the J iPod. Hey, look you. We're about to be in a fight. That was fantastic, man. We were about to be in a fight. Thank you. I don't want to be. I love you. No, I'm talking about Diet Cokehead. Oh, Diet Cokehead. She's picking. Thank you, Diet Cokehead. Those lines are blowing up. Number one, Kristen from San Marcos. Hi. Good morning, guys. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. Better. I just wanted to say that I'm listening, and I have a long drive up, so it would be you better eat some oysters. There you go. Yeah, I'm going to do it on Wednesday, I think. Where are you driving?

53:18I'm driving to Anaheim to see my brother play volleyball. There you go. So you'll definitely be at Fashion Valley today. Yeah, at 11. It sounds like since you're moving up north, we'll see you there. Well, look forward to Wednesday when I eat those oysters. Thank you. Do you think that I want to do it Wednesday because I don't want to do it? I don't know. I can't read you anymore. Well, I'm honest with you. I don't lie to you. Yeah, I know, but I... I don't know. I really don't know. I can tell you the truth. Well, then by your logic. You ask me a question. I'll tell you the truth. Oh, I know you will. But by your logic, then it wouldn't make sense for me to eat oysters because nobody's listening. It wouldn't. But Jay will kill me. You understand that? You understand? That's not my fault. Right. So we're going to do it today because if we didn't do it today, Jay would have my head. He's making someone come on their day off to drive them from wherever they're coming from. They are. God knows where they're coming from, by the way. God knows where Jake. I got a deal. He probably sent somebody out to go fishing last night. I told Mike at Mike's house, I go, I bet you he brings oysters that he caught himself. He went diving for them. Are they coming from a grocery store? Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know. I thought maybe you get oysters in a can. No, no, no. Would you put that past him? He did an eyebrow raise. These are the real deal. I bet they're massive. I bet they're that big.

54:39Six inches long. I've seen the huge ones before. Oh, my God. I'm going to die. And she's seen big oysters. Oy. Jay, just watch me. Oyster. Oyster. Death. You got it now. When we come back, we're going to tell you the best time of the day that a survey says is the best time to make sex. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I get it. You took a job right out of high school because the money looked great at the time. Hey, you were making a lot more than your friends who decided to go to college right away. But a few years into it, you realized there was a ceiling to what you could make. And now that money doesn't seem like as much as it did. You still have time to raise that ceiling and break out of those walls. Reinvent yourself and make the sky the limit, not the ceiling. In as little as 20 months, you can get specialized in property management or a number of other emphasis areas. Or how about specializing in forensic accounting? How cool is that?

55:47You can make it happen with California College San Diego. Call 1-800-390-6489. California College San Diego is accredited by ACCSE and has been educating students for over 35 years. Flexible on-site and online courses are available. Call 1-800-390-6489 to take the first step in reinventing yourself. 1-800-390-6489. Classes start soon. Original. Inventive. Latest and greatest. There are lots of ways to say fresh. And Mercedes-Benz is yet another. Take the 2012 C-Class. With its aggressive body styling, completely redesigned interior, and more fuel-efficient turbocharged engine, the C-Class sedan boasts over 2,000 refinements. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2012 C-Class, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Get the 2012 C250 sports sedan, an IHS top safety pick, at 1.9% APR for 24 to 36 months, or at least one for just $349 a month for 33 months with $4,009 due at signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services. Participating dealers through January 31, 2012. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for all your details.

57:05See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Business as usual, we think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My best friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust. Acceptability. Service. The way it ought to be. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you. Like a full line of mortgage and home equity packages with low rates and closing costs. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. My boss banks at Mission Fed. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. Open a new account today. Call 800-500-6328. Or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. We're Mission Fed. San Diego Banks at Mission Fed. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration and is an equal housing lender. Have you tried your best to lose weight on your own? Bad diets, workout gimmicks, no carbs, and still no results.

58:23It's time for you to take control and reach your goal. If you want 2012 to be the last time you make weight loss your New Year's resolution, call 1-800-GET-THIN today. If you need to lose 15 pounds or over 100 pounds, 1-800-GET-THIN can help with customized medical weight loss treatments. A weight loss specialist will work with you one-on-one to help you get on the right path to a new you. Call 1-800-GET-THIN to attend a free weight loss seminar today. Your medical weight loss program may be covered by PPO insurance. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now for a free PPO insurance verification and get your new life started today. Let your new life begin. Call 1-800-GET-THIN. That's 1-800-953-5000. Yo, straight out of Santa Fe. Turkey Burger. Carl Jr. Remus. Southwest Orient. It's Pepper Jack and I'm back and I'm better than Jetta. Bringing heat to the meat like us wearing 10 sweaters. I can make a mouth water in the hottest of desserts. Spicy kick to your lips, you're gonna love it forever. The new under 500 calorie Santa Fe turkey burger from Carl's Jr. With green chili, pepper jack cheese and Santa Fe sauce. It's turkey remixed with the perfect amount of heat. And that's just the way it is. Roofing contractors. Here's a better way to build your business.

59:47GAF's new lifetime roofing system. It gets your customers a lifetime limited warranty when you install any GAF lifetime shingle and three or more qualifying accessories. The roof stands up to win water and time while giving you a competitive advantage and your customers peace of mind. Get the GAF lifetime roofing system at the Home Depot. GAF shingles, quality you can trust. See limited warranty for complete coverage and restrictions. Courage to call. This is Ron. How can I help? Hi, I just got back from Iraq. My wife and I were looking for work and we need help with the kids. Courage to Call is a local veteran-run program helping veterans, friends, and family with jobs, child care, addiction, and stress. It's free and confidential. Well, good. I hope this was helpful for you. To speak to a veteran, call our 24-7 helpline at 211 or go to mhsinc.org slash courage to call. Sponsored by the County of San Diego Health and Human Services Agency. This is a reenactment of an actual call. Hi, I'm Chris, a 24-Hour Fitness membership counselor. And I'm Sarah, and I just joined 24-Hour Fitness. There's something different going on here. We're calling it the Fitness Revolution. Sounds big, but it's actually pretty simple. You get so much value for the money. State-of-the-art equipment. Tons of group exercise classes. Even online nutrition tips. And you made it really easy for me to get started. We don't work on commission. We're here to help. So you get the membership that's right for you. Join the Fitness Revolution. Call, come in, or click today at 24hourfitness.com. Facilities and amenities vary. Not all clubs open twice.

1:01:12Only the Home Depot has the new Delta Zella bath faucet. At just 69 bucks, this distinctive high arc faucet brings a new twist to the old idea that to be stylish is to be expensive. Plus, it's WaterSense certified, which saves not only water, but water bills. Let the savings flow with the stylish new Delta Zella bath faucet for an amazingly low 69 bucks. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only see store for details. Get in the zone. You can protect your engine with regular oil changes. Protect your wallet by doing it yourself. Now at AutoZone, get a 5-plus quart jug of Pennzoil conventional motor oil and a Fram Extra Guard oil filter now on sale for just $20.99. Or upgrade to Pennzoil high mileage motor oil and a Fram Tough Guard oil filter for just $4 more. See store for restrictions and details. Save on your next project with trusted advice from AutoZone. Parts are just part of what we do. Get in the zone. AutoZone.

1:02:12This report is brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash guarantees the lowest rate on all title loans. Ask about their $50 cash back offer. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law license. Well, you've got a triangle here of accidents. One that's starting off on the Fairmont Avenue on-ramp to the 8 West. Another one here on the 163 northbound to the 8 east connector. No injuries, though. And one on the 94 westbound to the 15 south connector. They are waiting on tow trucks. Reports just recently on the 805 northbound at the 54 east of a fire. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent will help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. Let's get to the... And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show M1 is getting a bonus program today. Our phone number is 570-1949.

1:03:52And if you would like to play Name That Tune, call us now. 570-1949. You're going to pick myself, Woods, or L.O.B. Surprise, Jay. It is a $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. Dave & Buster's. Eat, play, drink. Nice. Why? Dave & Buster's. Get your game on. That's right. Jay, what is the... I want home. What is the... What's the theme that we're going to be playing? The theme today is... Songwriters and singers that have written songs about their kids. There you go. Title or artist? Title or artist. Okay. Let's see. So before we do that, I want to let you know about the Italian cruise ship. This was a big story over the weekend. It happened on Friday and was a big news story here in America on Saturday morning. This was an Italian cruise ship, and I'm talking a... Big. Big one. Cruise ship. Oh, yeah. It breached. It turned over onto its side. And, I mean, just the worst case scenario. And the captain of the ship was arrested on Saturday. And he's being accused of manslaughter and abandoning his ship before all of the 4,200 people on board had been evacuated. Wow. M1 Boos is on the line. Are you there, Boos? I am. You're listening in Dallas online. I am.

1:05:23And I guess you know somebody that was on the ship? Well, yeah. Well, I know a family, a very close family of mine, their parents were on their very first cruise ever or on vacation. No, it's okay. I mean, fortunately for them, they stopped in Rome, and they actually got off in Rome. And so when it left from Rome to Tuscany, it was that, you know, when it, I guess, left the port there. That's when it sank. No way. So they got off of it at the port just before it sank. My goodness. Yeah. What did they, did they have any comments about what the ship was like or any of that? I haven't talked to them. I just found this out through their children. That's who I'm friends with. Yeah, man. I'd love to talk to them. Wow. Yeah. Or even the parents, you know, when they're willing to talk about it.

1:06:18Yeah, they're Austrian, and they live in Innsbruck, Austria, so it might be hard to get them on the phone. They're lucky, man. Yeah. They are lucky. Serendipitous. It's crazy. I mean, the very first cruise ever, they go, you know, it's the Mediterranean Sea, and it's beautiful, and it's a giant, beautiful cruise ship, and, you know. There was a lot of confusion getting into the lifeboats because it turned onto its side, so you got a lot of lifeboats on the other side that weren't able to make it into the water. That's petrifying. Sure. Absolutely petrifying. People that were on the island nearest to where they breached, locals were coming with their boats and getting people and rescuing people. And the captain was a coward, wouldn't get back on the ship. My goodness. Wow. Got arrested. Yeah, got arrested. Manslaughter. It kind of looked like you could have just stayed on the boat, though. Really? I mean, it didn't sink all the way. It just turned on its side. Yeah, but how can you stay in a boat that's completely tilted to one side? You stand on the walls inside. Wait for rescue? Or you just wait until the, I mean, it was right next to shore as well. So if you rode it out. Yeah, but you don't know if it's going to, you wouldn't have the wherewithal to go, well, I'm sure it's going to stay on its side this way. I think I'll just stay here. In your mind, you think this thing's going down. It's fight or flight. You know, you're like, I got to get off this thing and I want to get on solid ground. And according to the witnesses, the crew was very ill-equipped in what to do. They had no idea. It was chaos.

1:07:43They had no idea, like, what the plan of evacuation was. Well, because if you've ever been on a cruise, the first thing they do is they go over all the safety stuff. But for the people that work on the boat, I'm sure for them, it's just like, eh, here, here, here. Well, it's much like when we get on an airplane. It's an immediate tune-out. When you see that stewardess go up, sorry, flight attendant, go up with the buckle. You're like, oh, boy, with this. I always look for the exit. Me, too. I look for the exit. You do? Yeah. I want to know where the closest one to me is. The closest one, and who I need to take out to get there. Right. I'm scheduled to go on my first cruise for my honeymoon, and now I'm a little... Oh, you'll be fine. The odds of it happening are so slow. Maybe go on a hike instead. I will be paying attention to them when they're giving information. Boos, where are you going? To the Bahamas. Ooh. You're leaving from Orlando? Yeah, I will from Fort Lauderdale. What cruise line? I think it's Caribbean. Yeah. Well, there you go, man. Have fun. Have fun. Happy honeymoon. Thank you. Get some. Congrats. Get some. Let's see. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. What was the word of the day? Oh, bonus. I forgot for a second. That's right. You won a pair of tickets to Supercross, and you are also in the running for the grand prize. So hang on the line, okay? We don't have enough people listening to.

1:09:09Yes, we do. Round out the name that tune. I think it was confusing because you said the word of the day and. Yeah, it must have been terribly confusing for people. It's rough over here. M1 Pablo from Mission Valley. Who would you like to represent you in word of the day? Good morning, team. Thank you. I got to say, you guys are the only crew of radio in the morning I could actually see myself hanging out with. That a boy. Well, we appreciate that. We also happen to be the only crew. On the radio that's actually here today, so congratulations. You got it. Hang on a line. Who do you want to represent you and name that tune? Originally, I picked you, but Green Egg and I want Mikey. I mean, I want Woodsy. It's a good choice. Hang on a line. Hang on a line. Is that something you said? I apologize. I'm with Daniel from Oceanside. Who do you want? Hey, morning. I'll pick L.O.B. You got it. You got it. Buy me a drink. And then next up is M1 Hopper teacher from La Jolla. You get me. All right, let's do it, Michael. You got it. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. All right, I got to turn on my little device, and it's name that tune in the traditional sense of name that tune. When we know whatever it is that he's playing, we hit our little buzzer. Are you ready, Jay? I am ready. All right. Here we go. Two, three, four. Darn it. Mikey. John Lennon. Beautiful boy.

1:10:42Beautiful boy. That's right. These are songs about... Their children. Their children. Here we go. Oh, wow. Puddle of Mud. That's a song about somebody's kid? His little boy. Oh, really? I believe it's his boy. Yep. Or his girl. Cool. I think it's his boy. Or his girl. Here we go. Woods. Lenny Kravitz. I hit the buzzer. I didn't have a clue. Me neither. You don't know that song? Flowers for Zoe? Yeah, it's a great song. Here we go. Dang it. Try to stop it. Rod Stewart. L-O-B. Rod. That's a great name. Come up with a different name than that tune thing for that one. Here we go. Damn it! Billy Joel. Billy Joel. You got to say their name. I can't see that hers is lit because Woods' big body is blocking. My fault. Weird. Yeah. Why don't you scoot over a little bit? Got to let him see our buzzers. Great. Maybe we raise our hand when it turns green.

1:12:02Because I can't see them. Maybe I go into plumbing. Here we go. You date. Stop it. I can't. I'm trying to. Go ahead, Mikey. John Denver. Here we go. That's the last one. Hold on. That's a different one, too. Oh, that's it. That's it. That's it. Stop it. I can't. Yes, go ahead, LB. Is it Kenny Tesney? I'll just sit this one out. That's a two-point swing. Who was it? Billy Ray Cyrus. Ah, he was a country guy. All right, here we go. I did not. Mikey? I did not. Mike! You're just testing? Yeah. Here we go. Damn it! Mikey? Eric Clapton. Score. Mike won, Lauren won, Woods two. All right, here we go. With arms wide open. Yes, indeed. Gotta say her name. That's the title, right? Gotta say her name. Yeah, there you go. Woods.

1:13:29Make sure he can see the buzzer. What? I'm in my spot where I'm always at. I know. Just make sure he can see the buzzer so he can yell out our names. I'm right here. Got it. Here we go. Reset. Reset. Here we go. Woods. Rolling Stones. Wild Horses. All right. We're down to two left. Three left, actually. Mike, one. Lauren, two. Woods, three. Let's do it. Yeah, we can just do it straight up. Here we go. Do it straight up. Now tell me. Mikey. Audio Slave. That's on point, dude. I got fat fingers, all right? You're welcome. That was right, then? Yes. That was on point. Here we go. Damn it! L-O-B. Stevie Wonder. Oh, boy, this is tight. This is tight. That is what he said. All right. Here we go. Final one. You creep. The most amazing feeling I've ever been. L-O-B. That would be J-Z. I'm going to tie.

1:14:49That's four, my friend. That's three. No, that's four. Yes. Lauren O'Brien is your winner. Got you this quick on the draw today. M1, Daniel from Oceanside. Very nice. Your girl brought it home for you, pal. Hang on the line. I'm glad so many people are listening because I'll finally get the respect I deserve. It's my first loss of the year. I'm very upset. Woods is good at that game. Damn it. I'm slow on the buzzer today, man. It's only the second time we've played it this year. Well, I mean in everything. Buzzword, the whole bit. My first loss. What's up? I'm on the street. Oh, my goodness. You guys know Coachella sold out in three hours? Yes. My wife sat online for three hours waiting to buy tickets. What? We didn't get tickets. Yeah.

1:15:52Three hours trying and still didn't. Three hours. They kept saying, you're on standby. You're on standby. That's weak, dude. That's why I'm over it. Yeah. So mad at Coachella. Oh, my gosh. She's like, well, we can still go get them from Scalpers. I'm like, I'm done. I'm not going. Man. They have to have bought up all the tickets. Scalpers, yeah. They have to. I mean, they went to two weekends this year because of the demand. And they still sold it. Two weekends? Was there only one way to buy and that was online? Online. My goodness. They do a thing, I guess. They have an early sell, but it's long before you know who the artists are. But the artists are always good. So from now on, that's when I'm going to get it. I guess so, me too. Just because you know it's going to be good. Although maybe I'm just over it now. Yeah, maybe we're done with it. Maybe we hate you, Coachella. Yeah, maybe we do. Yeah. If you're not going to let us into your stinking concert. We want to go and talk about it. How many thousands and thousands and thousands of people can they fit in there? It's a lot. Think about the money they made. Probably insane. Probably a global deal. Probably people trying to buy from all over the world. It's an experience. If you've never been, I recommend it. It was a blast. L.O.B. picked up a piece of furniture outside of her neighbor's house. It's a good move. Great move. And she's going to refinish it.

1:17:14Probably got crabs and bed bugs. I have a sander from my friend Jay. Holy cow. I am looking at L.O.B. holding a power sander. A belt sander. No, that's not a belt sander. It's got a belt on it. No, it doesn't. It's a pad sander. A belt has a full belt that goes on. I asked her, I said, do you want the belt? Do you want the pad? Or do you want the... There was another one, too. Oh, I have a planer. I have a planer as well. Can't see too well. Yeah. Is that Jesus the carpenter in there real good or what? L.O.B. Question. Yes. Answer. What you picked up was, in fact, garbage. No. No. It's a solid wood piece of furniture. That someone threw away. Where did you find it? On the curb. Which is... Garbage. One man's trash is another man's trash. Nobody's going to pick it up as trash. There's no way. There's nobody that picks up trash. That is, they put it out for somebody else to refinish. They put it out for someone to use because they didn't want to deal with it. They put it out for people like you and Jay. I'm actually excited about it. I love furniture from the street. When I told Jay that I got a piece of furniture, he said, that's my favorite. That's my favorite. What is it again? It's like a bookshelf kind of thing. I'm trying to decide if I should use it.

1:18:39for myself or if I should use it for my little niece. And she's on vacation right now. I could have it finished by when she comes back. I'm sure she'll be pumped. The only thing worse... She's not two yet. The only thing worse than picking up trash and refinishing it is not even knowing what the hell you're going to do with it once you're done. Oh, I've got... It's such a good piece of furniture. You don't even know. You're like, I might give it to my niece. I might keep it. Michael Cohen said this. Michael Cohen said that. And I said, yeah, sure. Originally, I got it for her because I was like, oh, she could use a little cubby for her toys. It's got little shelves built in. It's a great piece of furniture. And then I thought, I could be selfish and I could keep it for myself. Where are you going to do this outside? Yes, I have a sheet. that was in the studio, Woods' ghost costume from Halloween he left here. Can you imagine this girl just out there with a sand horse? Oh, yeah. With a sawhorse and a sander? Jay put the sheet in the trash, and I went dumpster diving this morning. And I said, whose sheet is this? I want this. You're unreal. Oh, my God. It's good. So, yeah, I'm going to be out in the driveway, just power sanding, refinishing. I want to do the...

1:19:54It's called Distressed. Yes. And I paid good money to have, like, custom distressed furniture. I'm going to do it myself. Yeah, yeah. Maybe just go to Goodwill and pick one up for $4. Craigslist. No, this gives me good quality craftsmanship. You can distress real good with a chain. Like, I've taken a chain and beat furniture before, and it distresses it. I smell another medicine cabinet bit here, L.O.B. L.O.B. bought a medicine cabinet one time, didn't realize. I don't, I can't put this in. I don't have a cutout. There's no cutout. There's no place to put this in. So you leaned it against the wall, right? Leaned it against the wall for a couple months. Just sat there. You are something freaking else. This is going to be great. I'm going to do a before and after shot, and you guys are going to go, hey, L.O.B., can you distress my furniture for me? I probably will. Maybe I will. I probably won't, but I will support you in your endeavors, okay? I think it's great. Oh, I can't wait. And if that's what you want to do is... Go pick up garbage and then refurbish it. I'm excited about it. I'm excited for you. I am. I painted on New Year's Eve, and this is the year of projects. Woods' Adult Little League team made it all the way to the World Series of Adult Little League. Championships. San Diego Premier Baseball League. That's right. ESPN coverage? Premier. No, no, no television coverage, unfortunately. They did not air it on TV. They did not. It was in the newspaper, though, right?

1:21:11It may be, but I doubt it. Not that I know. I didn't talk to any reporters. Maybe, like, the league's newsletter. Yeah, our website. Yeah. You guys have a website. Yep, we do. One of the wives is, like, the webmaster? I think our commissioner's wife, maybe. Or our commissioner might run it. You know. Our commissioner, Ben. Commish. Commissioner. He also plays shorts up. No, he pitched. He pitched a complete game yesterday. Complete? Pitched his butt off, and we just couldn't get the job done for him. Gosh darn it. We lost in the finals 2-1. I was the tying run at third base. Could not score. Were your fans, like, outraged? Our fans, we and our fans were pretty upset. What about, was your wife there to support you and watch the wife was cooking and cleaning the house? Okay. Well, I mean, hey, after all, it was your World Series, so. Yeah. Wouldn't she? Yep. Were any of them? Were any of them? Yeah, there were actually, there was like four wives there, and then we had a couple of former players that came and hung out, too. Got it. They retired now? Yeah, both of them are retired. One is a comedian. He is doing professional comedy now. The other one had shoulder surgery, so he's rehabbing. He'll be back next season, which starts in about three weeks. Like signing autographs? No, we didn't sign any autographs. We were focused on... What about the all-stars that came back? No, they weren't all-stars. They were just former players. Yeah, former players. Sellout?

1:22:29It's hard to say. Hard to say at this point. Because they haven't counted all the stuff? We don't really sell tickets. You don't, per se? I'd say there were probably 25 fans in the stadium. How did the concession stands do? Did not have concession stands. No concessions. What about the stadium itself? It was at Alliant International University. Alliant. International University. Yeah, off of Pomerado Road in the 15th. Is that UC Alliant or was it, because I'm not familiar. It's Alliant, yeah, AIU. AIU. Was it heavily staffed, the game? Yeah, we actually had two umpires. No, no, no. She meant like security. Yeah, and like. We don't need security. Like ushers to take people to their seats. No, you can sit anywhere you want. So when you get there, you don't have like a ticket that you say, hey, my wife and I. No, you sit wherever you want. Got it. That's the best part. It's open seating. Open seating. Like festivals. If you get there early, you can sit in the front row. And then once you leave, you can't come back in. No, you can't. You can do whatever you want. Four wives did actually show up yesterday. Some kids. Brought the kids out. Maybe 18 players because nine per team, right? Well, we actually had like 15 guys show up yesterday. We had people on the bench, too. We had six guys on the bench.

1:23:41All day yesterday. To more players than fans. Yeah, definitely. That's what it came out to. Definitely. Well, it was kind of a gray day. There was a little rain, you know. Didn't really see the M1 support I would have liked to see. You know, I guess getting to the championship is just not a big deal anymore. But we did lose, and it hurt, and it still hurts. It's okay. The new season starts next weekend. Three weeks. Three weeks. Did you throw your helmet? No, I played. I played pretty well. There wasn't a lot of helmet throwing from my part. But there was some cooler bashing. Ah. And some trash can kicking and bashing. Uh-huh. And some cursing. Good. From the players' wives? From the players. From the players. Something. Maybe one of my favorite things to do. Maybe one of my favorites. I just want to say that we played our hearts out. And we'll be back. Don't count us out. We're tipsy crows. Nobody would. All the fans out there. We're going to do the Incorporator next because it went well last time. What kind of place are we going to be calling, Jim? We're going to try the rental place again. Oh, same rental place we were going to call last time. Okay. Stick around. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Hey, by the way.

1:25:14We're doing the Incorporator, so we need people to call us with words. You just give us a word. Woods will incorporate the word into his conversation that he's having. You call us at 570-1949. Give us a word, and it'll be fun that way. Now, I want to let you know about AT&T U-verse. Basically, this is great, especially now. The playoffs going on. Let's say that you want to put your television somewhere that you don't have a cable outlet. Well, now you don't have to be. tethered to the cable outlet. All you need is a power socket. It's so great. You don't have to be tied to the TV outlet. It's easy to move it and set it all up. All you need is that outlet. You connect the receiver to the TV. It's absolutely fantastic. So you can be in the kitchen cooking. You could be having a barbecue outside, party outside, party anywhere you want. It's also cool for a bedroom. Let's say you don't want to put the TV on that wall. You want to put the TV on this wall. Anywhere you've got the outlet to plug in power, you're good to go. Give them a call. 877-only-ATT or go to the AT&T store. Or click on att.com slash freeyourtv. Additional charge for wireless receiver. Price for UFamily TV. New customers after six months. Standard rate applies. Taxes and other charges apply. $36 TV activation fee for details. Go to att.com slash tvdetails.

1:26:43Hi, I'm Aaron, a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer, and I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy neighborhood market made with real customers, not famous actors, saving money. We pass on to you. Fresh and Easy is higher quality food that's inexpensive. I'm able to get a lot of the eat well meals. I have 98% produce packs. Maintaining a diet, low in saturated fat, you know, proper amount of protein. No preservatives, no artificial flavors. So that's the big thing for me. I mean, the food I buy here makes it easy to follow those guidelines. I like the sunshine salad, but it has the carrots and cabbage and lettuce in it. And it just pretty much, it just comes down to saving time and money. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Aaron. Now everyone can save on our expanded selection of Fresh and Easy Eat Well products. Not only are they affordable, they're also a simple way to eat healthier. Each meal contains 25% or less of the daily value for calories, fat, saturated fat and sodium. And the nutritional content is right on the front. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. And I want to talk to you about great hair and how to get it. And who better to ask than my old pal, Woodsy. That's right. It's your old pal, Woodsy. And I got to tell you, my wife, Jamie, was using Ovation for a long time. And then I picked it up and I started using it. And now I'm in love with it. What do you like about it? I love the way it smells. I love the way my hair looks now. And I love the way that it feels now.

1:28:04It's much fuller and even shinier. Absolutely. Much like my own hair. I've been using Ovation for over a year now, and people are still complimenting me. Two people this morning, as a matter of fact, and I tell them, Ovation, it's working 100%, and it helps me grow my hair a lot faster. It comes in fuller. It's softer. It's shiny. It smells good. And the best part about it, it's safe, it's non-toxic, and it's 100% guaranteed. For thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, log on to OvationHair.com and learn more about the Advanced Ovation Cell Therapy System. You've got to enter FM949 at checkout, and you're getting a special introductory discount. So log on to OvationHair.com, enter FM949, and you're going to get your special discount. Time Warner Cable introduces a breakthrough, technology that revolves around you. Starting with wideband internet, it's our fastest internet together with a connection that's super reliable. Wideband internet delivers plenty of bandwidth so everyone in your house can go online at the same time without slowing down. You'll get speeds up to 50 megabits per second. That's faster than AT&T U-verse. So you can forget buffering and stream all your favorite videos like never before. You'll also get free antivirus protection and parental controls.

1:29:13Call 877-429-5694 to get internet plans starting as low as $29.99 a month for a year. Don't just multitask, power task with Time Warner Cable Internet. Call 877-429-5694 or visit timewarnercable.com today. Limited time offer available to new residential customers. After promotional periods, regular rates apply. Not all speeds available in all areas. Some restrictions apply. Call for details. This is Toyota Today. legendary quality, unsurpassed reliability, and superior value. Now get zero APR on a new 2011 Prius with its 50 MPG. Zero APR on a stylish 2011 Corolla, luxurious Avalon, versatile Venza, or sporty RAV4. There's even zero APR on a 2012 Tundra. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer and save thousands with 0% financing on many of Toyota's best-selling models.

1:30:18Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. 2012 EPA estimated mileage. Actual mileage will vary. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealer stock by midnight 131. Offer excludes Prius V. On March 21st, 1963, Alcatraz officially closed. Only that's not what happened. Not at all. 302 men disappeared that night. They were never seen again. Until now. Fox Tonight, the country's most notorious prison. It's the two-hour series premiere of Alcatraz. Next stop, The Rock. What happened then is a dream. Radio at the station. Tell them to send everyone. What happens now is beyond belief. The worst criminals this country has ever known are coming back. You've been waiting for this. From the imagination of J.J. Abrams and the producers of Lost comes this series that has critics raving. The best is yet to come this season. We are so in.

1:31:26Sylvain's parents showed up at the scene. That's just not possible. Sylvain died over 30 years ago. It's the two-hour series premiere event. Alcatraz. You with me? All the way. Fox Tonight. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. I'm Brad Bellis, president of Cable Pipe and Leak Detection, and here's our BBBs. For over 35 years, Cable Pipe and Leak Detection has been providing high-quality leak detection and utility markouts for commercial, government, and residential clients throughout Southern California. CPL's BBB accreditation lets our customers know that our hardworking team is committed to honesty, integrity, and ethics every day in every way. BBB, 100 years of advancing trust together. Every day it's the same old thing. All work, no play, and no free lunches. Well, at Harrah's Rincon, break the routine. All you have to do is play 30 minutes, earn 25 reward credits, and you'll get a free buffet.

1:32:22There's no strings attached. Just big, juicy pieces of prime rib. Offer valid from Sunday through Thursday, open to close. Harrah's Rincon. Come out and play. Must be 21 or older to gamble. No way to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Rincon Band of Louis-Saint-Year. Famished by H. Cal LLC. Copyright 2012. C-Search License Company, LLC. Get 5% cash back on your purchases through February 1st with the SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa. Plus, ask about SDCCU's low introductory rate on balance transfers. Apply today for your SDCCU Cash Rewards Visa online at SDCCU.com. This report is brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it, decide, and tell them at Facebook.com. Chapstick.

1:33:10Okay, freeways, they look pretty good. You know, it is a holiday after all. On, well, let's see, right here. We'll go over here to the 8 eastbound to the 163 northbound connector. There is an accident there, just waiting on tow trucks at this point. A little bit of slowing this morning as you come over off of the 8 eastbound. You've got some delays from Tavern Road to about West Willows Road, about 48 miles an hour. And heading up towards El Cajon, slight delay on the 54 southbound Main Street to about Fury Lane in the mid-40s. This report brought to you by Brand. Brandman University, as a non-profit school, Brandman University is fully dedicated to your success. Call 1-800-275-9700 to learn more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hey, San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. This is The Mikey Show. All right. Let's start with Mikey. I don't trust anybody who has a P.O. box. Woods. It's against my will. Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out. and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. My wife asked me, how come white girls that sing like this are usually bigger girls? I said, because the vocal cords are meatier. Just eating Wendy's, smoking cigarettes real good? I don't know. I mean, that's my theory. I don't know. Oh, that's just skinny. Now I'm, you're done. It could be the shape of their head.

1:35:07Could be. She had a big head. Could be that. Rest in peace. It resonates. She dropped a lot of weight recently as well. Who? Adele? Yeah. Did she? On her foot? No, her whole body. That was... All right, Woods is leaving the room. We're about to do the incorporator. We're going to be calling a rental equipment place that we were going to call Aston. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Now, the way that this works is Woods used to keep himself... entertained before he started with the Mikey show. He used to keep himself entertained back at the office by making sales calls. And the sales guys, what they would do with each other is they'd walk over and they would feed each other words and they'd have to incorporate those words into a conversation with someone. And so that's what we're going to do right now. And the person that we call will be able to hear Woods only. They will not be able to hear me. And so I will feed Woods the words.

1:36:31So let's give this a shot. Come on in, Woodsy. Ready for your first word? First word is. Always give you the first word. First word is flabbergasted. Okay. First word is flabbergasted. Got it. Here we go. They can hear Woods, not me. Come on, this is Ben. How can I help you? Hey, Ben. My name is Jay, and I was going to come in later and look around at some of the stuff that you have. And I'm flabbergasted, man, because I've called a few places, and I need a jackhammer, but I've called some places, man. They're expensive. Yeah, well, what are you looking for? Well, I got a driveway that needs some work. There's a part at the end of it, and I don't know what you call it really, but it's like I need to cut off one. It's like I'm circumcising the end of the car.

1:37:50The end of the curb, you know what I mean? I'm cutting it off. Right. All right, well, listen, I want to get my hands dirty, but I don't want to see blood. Are these things safe? Oh, yeah, they're safe. I mean, we've got all kinds, you know, whatever you need. We've got, you know, gas or an electric one if you're doing it. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what happened. I had a, like a clam bake. This weekend, I had people over. We was eating lobsters and oysters and all kinds of stuff, and somebody ran over the damn curb. Oh, okay. I got you. Yeah, so I'm going to need to get it fixed. I guess I'm going to have to do it myself. It was my brother-in-law. He's about as big as a polar bear. His name's Mike. Lubricate. Yeah. So do these things need lubrication, or do you just plug them right in? Now, these sons of bitches, they ain't dainty, right? They're big, so it takes a big old guy like me to jack it, right? I mean, we've got some real small, but you're probably, if you're doing a driveway, you're probably looking at one of the, you know, ones. All right, yeah, I'm going to need that big son of a bitch. All right, well, look, I'm going to make love to my wife, give her some ecstasy. I'm going to be down there this afternoon, so I'm going to be picking up one of them jackhammers. All right, buddy. I'll see you later, Ben. All right.

1:39:24What is wrong with you? Oh, my God. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Even that guy, he was like, he's like, well, all right. I cannot take you seriously. Oh, my goodness. That was my favorite. That was one of my favorite incorporators in a long time. I like to do J-Voice. I didn't know I was going to do it until I just got caught up in the moment. It's easy to do. Yeah, it is. You know, you can always tell when Woods isn't quite sure about a word. He'll give me that look like, what the hell is that? I said polar bear, and you gave me that look like... That she got it? Like it wasn't hard enough. No, it wasn't. You wanted something tougher than that. Like, is that a challenge? Child's play. Yeah, like, come on. That was child's play. Yeah, it was child's play. Child's play. 570-1949 is our phone number. If you would like to give us a call and tell us about a pet peeve that you have.

1:40:24that you yourself do. I'll give you an example. It really irritates me when people are typing and I'm talking to them and they go, I'm listening. That's passive aggressive. Yeah. I do that every morning. Yes. I do it too. I know you do. Oh yeah, you do. I do it too. We've got, there's work to be done. So when LOB is typing and I'm trying to talk to her and she's not looking at me, she's typing and she goes, I'm listening. I can multitask. I can too. But it bothers me. It bothers me. And I do it. Yeah. I do it. It's a pet peeve I have that I do. 570-1949. I will, all the time, notice that I'm going to use the very last of the toilet paper, but I won't put a new roll on. No. You're a monster. That is monstrous. Now, if I walk in there.

1:41:22and somebody has used the last piece of toilet paper and they haven't changed the roll, I am so irritated, yet I do it myself. Ditto. Yeah, that's monstrous. Yeah, you don't do that. I don't do that. You're always the putter back on her. Yes. I never want to be caught in a situation with my pants down. Right. Waddling. Waddling to find the old waddle to find toilet paper. It's awesome when it's in the guest bathroom, too. Oh. And you've got to waddle across the house. It's the worst. Yeah. I keep my extra, like, above the storage in my kitchen. So if I had to waddle into my kitchen to go get some toilet paper, there would be a problem. You keep the toilet paper in the kitchen? Yep. I buy it in both. That's where you eat? I don't. That's why I stack up the little wicker basket in the bathroom. She is the first human being. in the history of the world that I've ever heard that keeps toilet paper in the kitchen. Yeah, we keep it right next to the bathroom. It's a bulk. Like I buy like 36 rolls at a time because it's cheaper. Costco bit. And then I got to keep it somewhere and I don't have enough storage in my bathroom. Yeah. Well, that is a, that is a, that is a pet peeve of mine that I do myself. Here's another one. When I'm talking on the phone sometimes and I'm half listening. Oh.

1:42:38And you can tell. Yeah, you do that all the time. I do it and I hate it. I just call people out on it. I do it too. If somebody does it, I don't like it. Oh, I hate it. I'll let you go. Oh, man. My buddy does that to me all the time. I'll just let you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, because you're talking to somebody and you hear. Yeah. Yeah. It's clear they're doing something else. Yeah, because you say something that's very impactful and they go, there's a long pause after you say it. Like, give me one, L.O.B. Give me something. Tell me something powerful that I should react to. So today our bosses gave us like an ultimatum of we've got to do this thing or else like that's it. The end of the month. Uh-huh. And that's how long it takes, by the way. That's how long. That's how you know. Yeah. Because you say something big. You say something huge. And there's that long dead pause and they go, wow. Whoa.

1:43:39Oh, God, I do that to my wife all the time. All the time. I'm a monster. I feel like most people I talk to on the phone do that all the time. I'm laying in bed building a dynasty in Madden 12 on PS3, and she's telling me about work stuff. I'm like, yeah, what? She's like, you didn't even just hear me. I'm like, uh-uh. I did, too. Do you guys ever have anyone do the fake, I've got another call, I've got to go? No. Not that I know of. You can hear when another call is coming in. No, can you? Yes, all the time. You hear a pause and you hear a click. You're like, today I'm to the bank, so you know, oh, you have another call. You have to take it. That's genius. So you do a fake one? No, I've never done it, but people have done it to me. How do you know they're fake? Because I didn't hear a click. There's no other call. You just want to get off the phone. Wow. We wouldn't know. Because we don't get to talk and spend time with our friends. That's right. I'm not a big phone talker. Or a big hanger-outer. Not a big lunch person. Not a big Super Bowl party person. Not a big come-over-and-watch-football person. Not a big let's-go-out-to-dinner person. My wife asked, is L.O.B. coming over today for the playoffs? And I said, babe, I don't have the $100. That's right. It was going to cost me $100.

1:45:00For her company. For her company. I said, isn't this basically prostitution at this point? Minus the good part. Mike was texting me about how you guys are missing me during the game. And I said, all it would have taken was at least $100. Oh, what a monster. I know her. I looked at that text and I just stared at my phone. Like you would want to come over and watch football. Oh, I maybe just want the invitation. Hey, listen. I want to turn you down. Yeah. But I at least want to be invited so I can turn you down. Oh, and I will turn you down. I tell you guys, the next time you want me to come do something, you better invite Jay. That's right. And I'll go. That's mean. No, it's not. Solidarity, by the way. Yes, it's mean. It's the thinnest, sharpest dagger. It's solidarity. All for one. And it's BS, too. Nope. Because what's going to happen? If we invite Jay to watch football, Jay will immediately say, I ain't watching football. I got a hike and a skate and a swim and a surf. And a megalov sesh. And a megalov sesh.

1:46:02It's not always football. And then you'll hear that he's not coming, then you won't come. So what's the freaking point? Maybe it's me and Mikey against you and Jay. Always. If he goes, I'll go. If he goes, I'll go. She so sucks. I want someone to talk to. That's right. That sucks. You don't love talking to us. You guys talk to each other and ignore everyone else around you. Such BS. It is one million percent. BS. We used to be that way. We're not that way anymore. Oh, boy. I've been that way in a long time. I'm one Adolfo from Oceanside. Hi. Yeah, how's it going? Good. What's a pet peeve you have that you do yourself? I hate it when people have their radio super louder, their stereo in their car, and I'm like right next to them in a stoplight or something, and I do the same exact thing. You look at them and roll your windows up like, how dare you? How dare you? How dare you infiltrate my ears? How dare you do what I do? Yeah. You snicker at them because you're like...

1:46:56Dork. Yeah. Listening to house music in your freaking car. And then Alice in Chains is rattling. I got Alice in Chains as loud as it'll go. Rattling your teeth. Drown out my Peter Cetera. Oh, gosh. I do the ask a question from the other room. Like, which I know someone, one is. One of the two people is going to have to come into the other room because there's no way we're hearing each other. I do it all the time. And then when Matt does it, my boyfriend, I'll be like, why? Why is he asking? I'm not in that room. I'm not with you. Now I got to walk over there. Maybe you make him pay you $100 to come in. I do that. Do you do that, Woods? Yeah. Babe. And I hate it when she does that. Yeah. Dear. I do it all the time. This is the things that bother you that you actually do. I cross the street. You know, not necessarily when there's a crosswalk and have to cause somebody to slow down. Someone does that in front of me. I'm like, are you an idiot? What's the matter with you? Same bit. I do the exact same thing. Let's take some of these calls. Take line one. Oh, that's a good one. Riveting. Compelling. Our phone screener, Nicole, is like, why did I show up today? She's like, what am I doing? Nothing to answer. Thanks, guys. This is awesome. I have nothing to screen. This is awesome. Sucks.

1:48:23What are we doing here? Well, maybe... We're here because Jay would... He walked in right now, and I had a bagel sandwich in my hand. And he looked down at it, and he went... I thought you were counting calories. It looked like a whole wheat bagel. Was it whole wheat? It looked like one. A whole lot of bagels is what it was. It's good, but... He is, you know what your nickname should be? The Enforcer. Yes, he is. You enforce everything. I almost mad cried yesterday afternoon. I almost sent you guys a passive-aggressive, like, it's cool having a three-day weekend, huh? Because everyone I was around was like, oh, so glad. Just drinking Bellinis real good. I almost mad cried. I was like, freaking J. Freaking J. It's not my fault. We had to work. We didn't. We got the work, son. We did not. We have to take Friday off as well. We have to take Friday this week off. And we got to take Friday off because I have a family matter to take care of. So we were going to be on the air for, what, three days? Jay. I hate when he's right. Well, he's not, though. He is. No, he isn't. You want to know why? Let's take some calls about it. My wife just texted me and said, there is nobody on the road. No. Literally, this morning.

1:49:50There was three cars. I passed three cars my whole way in. Three. Mikey's looking out the window at the driveway right now. All four cars. This is good practice for us. Beep, beep. This is a practice run. This is a practice run today. Hey, Honk, if you're listening. Or not. In the Civil War days, they have more of an audience. Someone from the Oregon Trail is listening. One of the Donner Party. AJ's Playhouse just snoozing right now. Oh, yeah, sleeping in real good. Sleeping in. Gina Latina getting some beauty sleep right now. I could use some. Yeah, singing out. Uh-oh, blowing up. Shoot. A couple calls? Yeah, I think we do. M1Ninja, hi. Hey, guys. How are you? Are you working? I'm kind of working. I tutor on the side, and so I'm doing that a little bit today. That's disgusting.

1:50:54Ninja, didn't you go to... Ninja. It's just the same thing. Didn't you go to Harvard? That is the true statement. Wow. Smarty McParty. She told me one time that she went to Harvard, and I said to her, like, I want to meet you. That is... That's big time. That's big time. Were you and Jay in the same class? Yep. Yeah, yeah. He was my professor. Sexology. Sexy. Yep, you have to stay up to class. First day, I just drew a dong on the chalkboard. I was a nude model in their sculpture class. That's right. I said, y'all, welcome to Harvard. This here's a dong. Dismissed. That's it. Wow, you guys are kind of a little bit loopy today. Yeah, well, it's because Jay made us work. Jay just having his phone. Stalin in there. Phone sounds on. You guys, you got to keep in mind that you do have a lot of listeners. Just not everyone calls in. No, I'm telling you. We've been begging them. There's not a lot of people out there. Yeah, we've been begging for calls. Nobody's listening today. Everybody's off. I've been listening since 5.30. There you go. That a girl. See? Why don't you come down here right now? Oh, wow. Whoa. I don't mean it like that, you creep. Ninja, why don't you... Take a day off. Ninja?

1:52:20Are you able to do that or are you not able to? You know, the tutoring I have to do is this morning. Otherwise, I would come and see you guys at the Cheesecake Factory. We're not going to do it today. Really? Are we? Are we going to do it today? Why are you looking at me? I'm just here to ride along and be easy going, guys. I think we should do it. Hey, whatever you guys want. Hey, let's just get along. Hey, listen. Peace, love, and happiness. I'll just do whatever you want, Mike. Just call it Lazy Monday. Yeah, just like every day for you, Mike. Yeah, we'll just do it Wednesday, I guess. Wow, sorry, I didn't mean to open a can of worms there. No, it's been open all morning. It's all been just slinging worms at each other. Not at each other, just me and Jay. I know. We love you. Yeah, we do. Well, when you hang with us. We love you. I would love to come down, but I have to educate young minds today. All right. Some other time I'll have to come down and meet y'all. Thank you, Ninja. Priorities, Ninja. Thank you. M1HotPinkPenguin, I love you. I love you. I'm glad to hear you. I'm glad to hear you. What's going on? I got a pet peeve. What?

1:53:33I can't stand when you're watching TV and it comes to a commercial and people change the channel and they'll go to another show and they're going back and forth. Oh, yeah. I get anxiety they're not going to get back on time. Right. Yeah. Yep. We're all, we all have an inner control freak and we're like, gosh, come on, come on, come on. Yeah. Just keep it on one thing. Hurry up. I can't sit through commercials, though. I do it. Yeah. I can't sit through them. I flip. You gotta flip. You can go through three programs at once. Yeah. I learned a bit. One time, I remember I learned it. I was watching. I went over to a friend's house. I was watching the Daytona 500 with him. And I've done it ever since. During commercials, he pressed mute. Yeah. And I went, what are you doing? And he goes, you don't mute the commercials? I said, no. Why do you do that? He goes, what do you want to listen to? I go, hmm. All right. Muting the commercials drives me nuts. A lot of people do that. It drives you crazy? Yeah. Find a movie that you've already seen. You can flip over and see it for three minutes. Just talk to each other during the commercials. Go to the bathroom. Get some popcorn. Yeah, but can't we talk better if I... Thank you, Hot Pink Penguin. Can't we talk better if we have... Same thing. I get anxiety. You're not going to unmute it on time. Oh, sorry. What did we miss? Nothing. A lot of people calling to say they appreciate us working today. You're welcome. Is it official? Are we officially moving our...

1:55:00Launch to Wednesday. Our payoff bet? Yeah. Our bet payoffs? I think we should because we have more listeners in, but I just want to do what's best for the radio, and I feel like Wednesday would be better. Well, since that's an event that's not on the air. What's that? Wednesday. Well, yeah, but we have time to promote it and do all that stuff. Okay. You know, and what I'm really thinking of is me eating cannelope and you eating your deal. But we'll do that today. I know, and that's what I'm saying. We do that today, and we're wasting it because there's not as many people, but. We got to do it. We got to do it. I think it's next, isn't it, Jay? Is it, Jay? Yes. We're doing it next. All right. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. I just got 4G LTE from AT&T here in San Diego. And let me tell you, it's crazy fast. Like living in the future fast. Up to 10 times faster than 3G. My roommates can't keep up. Ooh, Jenny, did you hear... That Barbara has an extra ticket to the concert? Lisa, that's so 42 seconds ago. I already downloaded it from the link she sent me. Oh, great. Lisa will forget about that ticket soon. See, about 52 seconds ago, her boyfriend changed his relationship status to single. She doesn't know that yet, but she will in three...

1:56:22Two, one. AT&T, rethink possible. Introducing AT&T 4G LTE in San Diego with speeds up to 10 times faster than 3G. Come in now and get the Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket 4G LTE smartphone for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9. Visit att.com or store for details. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Compatible device and data plan required. Tablet and smartphone each require a new two-year service agreement with qualifying monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. As a hard worker, as a small business owner, as a loyal associate, you deserve a reward. In fact, you deserve double rewards. And that's what you'll get for one week only at Office Depot. Now through Saturday, Office Depot announces double work-life rewards with any $50 purchase of HP Ink or two of the same HP toners.

1:57:18That means instead of getting 10% back, you'll get 20% back on qualifying HP purchases. 20% back on HP Ink. 20% back on HP Toner. Sign up now for work-life rewards at any Office Depot or officedepot.com. If you don't buy your HP Ink or toner at Office Depot, you won't get our 20% back. So get to Office Depot on the double. Double rewards and Saturday at Office Depot. Multi-packed count as one. Rewards issued quarterly on qualifying purchases when you earn $10. Visit MyWorkLifeRewards.com. Buddy, down here in the cup holder, yeah, it's us, your spare change. Now, look, this might seem strange, but frankly, we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious, like one of those 2 for 350 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. Now at McDonald's, 32-ounce large soft drinks are only 69 cents.

1:58:44Quench your thirst with a 32-ounce large Coca-Cola or choose from a variety of icy cold soft drinks for just 69 cents. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. Does depression make everything feel like an uphill climb? Explore a different path. Local doctors are looking for adults with depression symptoms for a research study enrolling now. Call 866-4study1 now to find out if you qualify. Some people may receive an approved medication. Others may receive an inactive placebo. Compensation for your time is available. Call 866-4study1. Explore a different path. That's 866-4study1. Hi, I'm Chris, a 24 Hour Fitness membership counselor. And I'm Sarah, and I just joined 24 Hour Fitness. There's something different going on here. We're calling it the fitness revolution. Sounds big, but it's actually pretty simple. You get so much value for the money.

1:59:31state-of-the-art equipment, tons of group exercise classes, even online nutrition tips. And you made it really easy for me to get started. We don't work on commission. We're here to help. So you get the membership that's right for you. Join the fitness revolution. Call, come in, or click today at 24hourfitness.com. Facilities and amenities vary. Not all clubs open 24 hours a day. It's just what you've always wanted. Albertson's Wish Big, Win Big Holiday Giveaway. It's our collect and win game that's beyond big and beyond easy. Just shop, collect game pieces, and fill up your game board for a chance to win your share of over $28 million in prizes and money-saving offers. From cool cars to cold hard cash to warm vacations. Want to make your holidays even happier? Look for thousands of bonus game ticket items throughout the store every day. What prize will you open this holiday season? Play Albertson's Wish Big Win Big Holiday Giveaway today. No purchase necessary to play or win. Play through January 31st, 2012 will supply the last. Must be 18 or older and a legal resident of California or Nevada, excluding Elko, or the cities of Ehrenberg and Portside, Arizona. Void were prohibited. Subject to full official rules at albertsons.com slash wishbag. Shop at Albertsons through Tuesday and save with your preferred rewards card. Albertsons chicken, drumsticks, thighs, or whole legs are just 99 cents a pound. Six pounds packages of fresh blueberries are two for $3.

2:00:41Plus, right now, you can earn triple tickets for our Wish Big Win Big Holiday Giveaway. Find big savings and more at Albertson. This year, make 2012 the new you year with Ovation Cell Therapy. Guaranteed to restore your hair's natural beauty, Ovation Cell Therapy can help repair dry, brittle, damaged hair caused by harsh chemicals and heat styling. Ovation Cell Therapy can dramatically reduce breakage and help repair split ends, even helping to repair the damage caused from hair extensions. With Ovation Cell Therapy, your hair can be thicker, stronger, longer, and healthy again. Guaranteed. My Ovation experience has been great. My hair was terribly damaged and over-processed, but now my hair looks and feels healthier. I love you guys. Make this year your new you year. Join the Ovation Nation and take the Ovation Challenge of thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair. Guaranteed. Or you get your money back. Hundreds of thousands of Ovation customers can't be wrong. For your new you year. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout for a special introductory discount. For thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout for your special savings. This is the sound of Kate depositing checks. Yeah, those reports will be done in five. This is the sound of Felton depositing checks. Hello, this is Felton. This is the sound of Simon depositing checks. Thank you. Your order will ship out today.

2:02:04Chase brings the bank to your business with a quick deposit check scanner. Deposit checks into your Chase business checking account at any time without having to leave the office, which speeds up cash flow and gives you more time to get everything else done. Whether that's talking to suppliers, hello, finishing reports, here you go, or finally launching the company website. And we are online, people. Sign up now and get a Chase quick deposit scanner for free. Stop into a branch or go to chase.com slash business quick deposit to learn more. More convenient business banking. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Subject to approval, monthly service fees apply, two-year service agreement required, and cancellation fees apply. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase, Bank N.A., member FDIC. Attention! Cox Cable and Time Warner Cable no longer carry Universal Sports Network. Call 1-800-55-GET-US and tell them you want year-round coverage of Olympic sports. Call 1-800-55-GET-US-NOW. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood. Toyota dealer from batteries to tires.

2:03:12Toyota's got you covered. Well, it looks like we've got a little bit of a backup on the 8 westbound of the 67 North Connector due to an earlier accident. Also, as you travel here over towards El Cajon, it's a little slow, not bad. 54 south to Chase Avenue all the way down to Fury Lane, 49 miles an hour. You know what? For the most part, everything looks really, really good. Not even for the most part. It just does. The 8, the 15, 805, all. crystal clear this report brought to you by chapstick chapstick brand asked do green apple kisses taste better than cherry both protect and moisturize your lips but which is a better kiss try it decide tell them at facebook.com slash chapstick i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report This is Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 authentic surfboard for a Monday morning. Brought to you by The Shed where you can find the best selection in town of both new and used surfboards or custom boards are available through a variety of local shapers. So stop by and say hey, pick out a board. Surf-wise today looking a bit smaller than it has been as a drop in Westbrook. West pretty swell continues. A touch of secondary southwest out there. Really not all that much though in terms of size.

2:04:24Looking at needlewaste highways on average, maybe a few chest highways here and there. And rare plus is still possible early on before the swell continues to taper off throughout the day. Cloudy skies this morning should give way to partly cloudy skies to more sunshine as the day continues. Water tide swings really not affecting things as there's not that much swell even to really affect. Water temps notch down though about 57 degrees. So that's something to bear in mind before you head on out today if you wish to do so. For up to the minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. Tell him Bruce sent you. The authentic surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 authentic surf report. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. Come on, man. On FM 94.9. Oh, wow. Gosh darn it, L.O.B. is funny. She is a funny broad. Gosh darn it, she gets me. She's a smartass. She is, and it's so funny. So Woods posted on our Facebook page, hey, you know, we're officially going to be doing the lunch with a toupee on Wednesday. Not today.

2:06:21And there was no responses. No, zero. So LOB wrote, wow, look at the massive response and uproar. Look at the overwhelming response slash uproar. What are you going to do? I just try to be honest with my fans and tell them when we're going to be, when we're going to be somewhere. Is it that or is it that you didn't bring your gym clothes? Yeah, I was going to go to the gym. Since we're not going to feast on cheesecake, I could have gone to the gym. Now I won't. Boy, you were all about it Monday until you walked in and saw LLB this morning. You were all about it. About doing it today? Yes. No, no, no, sir. You posted it. No, sir. You posted it. I did, but. I didn't see it. I did. I did, but. I did, but. I thought it was a bad call. Did you post it in a comment? You always do stuff that you think is a bad call. Always. Well, dude, I did it when me and you were sitting there watching the game. You always do stuff you don't want to do. Well, I did it, and I wasn't thinking. Come on.

2:07:22Plus, he spoke on it before I said a word. That's true. He said, wait a minute. And you know I do, and Woodsy, I do do that. You do do that. I'm very hasty. By the way, thank you to King's Fish House. We're about to pay off on Woods and my portion of the bet. It smells good. Yeah, it does. That's because they're fresh. All those oysters are fresh. And they are from, thank you to Chef John and... Chef Heath, they have nine different oyster varieties daily, shucked fresh to order. It's like Woods has a little minuet sauce. There's some extras I might go scavenging. Yeah. Now, we have a cornucopia of various...

2:08:15Oysters. Jay's dumpster diving. Jay's dumpster diving. What are you doing, Jay? He's throwing away all the good stuff that goes on top of them. This is how I'm going to eat them. Okay, but you're not eating all those. I'm eating nine out of 11 of them. Okay, well, there's a couple left. Why did you throw the stuff away? I'm not using it. All right. There's all the good stuff he's throwing away. All this has been captured on film, which is really cool because you get to see what Jay does. Oh, gosh. All right, now we have various different kinds of oysters. Of oysters. We have what they call quinceline. It's from the north. No, no, no, no, Woods. It's pouring sauce out. No, it's not. First of all, it isn't sauce. Put it down. Put it down. Put it down, Woods. Put it down. I'm going to tell you what it is. Woods is taking the oyster and he was pouring out. The lovely brine. Yeah. That was minuet sauce. Sea Woods, a nice, fresh oyster. Oyster. Will taste just like the ocean. Perfect. The first one you're going to have is from the North Hood Canal in Washington, and it's got a very delicate and medium body to it. Then you're going to be having a Chef's Conway, taken fresh from the Foxley River. It's got mild brininess and...

2:09:47Just a very clean and sweet finish. From the river, Woods. Perfect. Man, sounds awesome. Then you're going to have the skookum, which was taken fresh out of Puget Sound. Seattle. In Washington. Oh, my gosh. Now, that one's very sweet. It's got a mild fruity finish to it, Woods. Just what I want in my seafood. Then the tomahawk. I wonder if he'll be able to distinguish. Oh, yeah. Of course he will. Yeah, right. Then the tomahawk. That one was taken, by the way, from... Manemsha Pond in Martha's Vineyard. So you know it's good. That's a medium brined oyster. That one's got a clean, fresh flavor with a lemony finish. Then you'll move on to the Stingray. Taken from Chesapeake Bay, Virginia. That one's sweet with a mild brininess and a crisp, clean finish. And then you'll round things out with two. The Pope's Bay.

2:10:52which is an eastern oyster cultivated in Virginia. That one, Woods, has got a briny, earthy taste to it. And then you'll finish with the Fanny Bay. That's from Bainsound, Vancouver. What choice do you have? All the way from Canada for you. That's right. That one's got a mild brininess and a very pronounced cucumber finish. Wow. Thanks, King's Fish House. Maybe it's just a bit, and he likes oysters. Oh, he hates oysters. I do not like oysters. Man. Now, the reason that he's having them is because the bet was that for every completion that Tim Tebow made, Woods would have an oyster. Now, Woods doesn't like oysters, but at least he's having the best of the best. The best of the best. Those were alive just moments ago, Woods. You have to do the biggest ones. How do I eat? You don't worry about it. What you do is you put it up and you slurp it down. Yeah, and it kind of sticks to the shell. Chew it. Oh, God. Swallow it. Oh, it's going to be a long day. One down. I'm just going to go. Eight to go. I'm going hard in the paint. Here we go. There's number two. Oh, God. You slurped it down. Jay, don't you do anything. There's a third. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. There's a third. There's a fourth. Oh, did he drop it?

2:12:15Oh, it's stuck. Oh, it's stuck. Get it out of there. Get it out of there. Fish it out, Woods. You're just digging for it. Come on. It's like the bottom of the aquarium, Woods. Oh, God. He's drinking some water. Come on. How many is that? How many is that? He's pounding. Hey, no spitting. I don't know. I'm not sure. That was four. That was four. Here comes number five. Oh, God. Here comes five. Man, these look delicious. Yeah, they're like boogers. Go ahead, Woods. Just don't think of a fish tank when you do it. Okay, here comes the six. Awesome. Mmm. Yummy. He just shot some oyster out of his mouth. He laid it back in the shell and he ate it again for a second time. How many is that? Oh, gosh. I think that was seven. There should only be two left at the end. Okay. Eight. Oh, no, that was only six. That was seven. Here's eight. Oh, that's the... He's digging it with his fingernails. Here's the last one. My favorite was the one that wouldn't come off the shaft. And he was shucking it with his finger. And then he... Look at him. He exhaled and a piece of it shot out of his mouth. I gotta wash my hands. Anybody want one? He's going to wash his hands.

2:13:48I don't want one for fear of he shot a bunch back out of his mouth. No, dude, he shot some out of his mouth. No, it's fine. And it went on there. It went all over. Jay will eat anything. Oh, I can smell that horseradish. Man, it's going to be hot. Woods thought the horseradish was Parmesan cheese. And he took a big smell of it and some of it went up his nose. Wow, that is good. Man. They know what they're doing over there. You're eating Woods' saliva. I hope you're enjoying it. I've touched tongues with him before. It's not a big deal. That's true, actually. It's a warning now. Yeah, it'd be both. What are we going to do after this? It's an astrodisiac. It's an astrodisiac. He's eating your leftovers with your spit-up. I didn't touch those ones, though. Yeah, but you shot... Oh, with the... Now, I got to pay off a bet because there was a turnover in the game, and for every turnover, I have to eat a piece of cantaloupe. A little horseradish on your cantaloupe? Eight. Those are giant pieces. I just ate nine oysters. Hey. Hey, that sauce, though, pretty tasty. Man. What's it called? What do you call it? Brine? No, the red stuff. Minuet. The minuet was pretty good. He's taking horseradish home. He's taking horseradish home. He's taking horseradish home. He's taking horseradish. Hold on. What is it? Horseradish? He's taking it home. He's taking it home. He's taking it home. He's taking it home. What was it? Horseradish? He said horsh.

2:15:18Horseradish. Fresh horseradish. He said horseradish. It's fresh. It's horseradish. He's taking it home. It's delicious. It's fresh. What are you going to do with it, Jay? Make a sandwich? How can I have a horseradish sandwich, Matt? I'm going to make wasabi sauce. Hey, well, you left some cocktail sauce in here. I'll get it. There's crushed ice in here, too, if you want. Peanut butter and horseradish sandwich. That's not ice. That's salt. That's sea salt. Seashalt. By the seashore. Seashalt. Horseratus. I need a fork. No, you got to do it with your hands. Do it with your hands. Why? Okay. Oh, gosh. You should put like some salt. No, you don't get to pick. Get that one. That's a good one. No, I won't. Oh, it's nice and ripe. There's a little green on the bottom of it. There's seeds in there. There's some seeds up in there. It smells rotten. God, dude. Those things are hard to get down. You sure that's good cantaloupe? Mike? That does smell a little rancid. You could get sick from that. Remember all those guys died? Ah, that's right. From that cantaloupe? What was that disease called? I don't want it. I don't want it. I think it's E. coli. Can't I have a fork? No, you'll need a fork. The woods use a fork? Yeah. I just sucked them down. Yeah, but you're supposed to eat those with your hands. You're not supposed to eat cantaloupe. Don't you get a little fork with oysters?

2:16:45To, like, scrape them out. I just chuck them out with my teeth. Well, nobody eats cantaloupe with their raw hands. How do you do this? They do eat it with their hands. Yeah, I do. All the time. Yeah. I was driving to my game yesterday. I had a little thing full, and I just kept popping them in my mouth. Oh, it feels like an overripe banana. I'm going to... Let me try it first. Oh, gosh. Oh, that's filthy. Is it like... Oh, I hate cantaloupe so much. Is that tan, scaly skin still on it? Oh, gosh. LLB. That's a real ripe one, so it's not real sweet. And it's hard. I can smell it. It's nasty. So good. Oh, gosh, man. Oyster's good. Cantaloupe, gross. Oh, gosh, I don't want to do this. That's a very small piece. That's a very small piece. I didn't cut. I would love if he ate the whole plate. I didn't cut the cantaloupe. That's a very small piece. He cut the cheese. Good one. Are you eating that whole plate, Mike?

2:17:50That's a very small piece. No, I'm supposed to eat a piece. Just one? You've got to get the biggest piece. Oh, no way. That guy right there. With the seeds on it. Yeah, look at that one. It's fresh. Come on, let's go. Oh, it's disgusting. Mike, that is... Hey, and by the way, this is not ripe. This is not a ripe cantaloupe, I bet. Is it? It's not ripe. Oh, it's ripe. It's absolutely ripe. It's absolutely ripe. Is it? It's got green all over it. No, it's just the rind. You got a little Ryan McFadden. At least you got to eat good oysters. I'm eating some cantaloupe that isn't ready yet. It is ready. Just one piece. Come on, Mike. You look a little green in the face. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh. Okay, here I go. Here I go. Look at the color of that cantaloupe, Ryan. That's a real big piece there. Gotta chew it. It's the size of a cube of cheese. Yeah, it's in his mouth. His eyes are watering. It's turning red. It's rotten. It's rotten. Don't do that for me. It's so rotten. Oh, my gosh. It came right out of a dumpster behind the station. I'm celibating just watching. I know. Adam had it in his armpit. Oh, no. Oh, God. Take it down. Take it down. Swallow. Swallow. Take it down. I saw Woods lick it. Yep. Oh! I guess half the bet's complete. Oh, that is filthy. That is a...

2:19:26Filthy animal. So good. Leave that out. I'll finish it. Oh, that's a filthy, filthy. That's the filthiest fruit. It is. When I get to heaven, the first thing I want to know is why did you make that? Because it's so good. Oh, that is so sick. Ew. Ew, it stinks. I dislike that fruit so much. Oh, my gosh. Why do people eat that? Oh, why do people eat that? Delicious. My stomach's bubbling right now. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. That's what I'm saying to the cantaloupe. My lips are on fire. Was there some tomfoolery going on in this Tabasco sauce? No. Because they're on fire. No. No. There's no heat in that at all. No. Did you add heat to it? Does someone have something like gum or water? No. No. Tums? It's horseradish. It's horsh. Radish. Blueberries. I have blueberries. You want some antioxidants, Mike? You hate cantaloupe too, right? Oh, I hate it. That's ridiculous. I cannot understand why people will eat that fruit. That's so good. It was making the hair on my arm stand up watching you eat it. That giant piece. M1 Stephanie is on the line. You got to work today or what are you doing? So I got called in yesterday to work.

2:20:55Because corporate decided that they're doing an entire corporate audit today on everybody else's in corporate day off. Oh, my gosh. That's not right. You have to go by yourself? No, I had to call in my entire staff. Oh, gosh. Did they make you call them? Yep. Oh, bummer. That's not cool. It was supposed to be a three-day weekend, and I have my entire staff in today. Is your boss's name Jay? Yeah, did you have to come in for a whole three and a half hours? She works for Isbell Productions, which is my production company. That's right, Mike. It was mine. I sold it to my wife, Kim. Yeah, made a profit. If I were you, I would have said I was out of town. I would, too. Oh, I wish. I would have made myself out of town so it wasn't a lie. I would, too. Hey, thanks for the call. You're welcome. My stomach is turning. Yours is. I mean it. Woods might actually throw up. No, it won't. When you eat something, listen, when you eat something that you don't like, there's a reason you don't like it. And your body wants to reject it. Visually, to look at an oyster visually is not, it's not visually good looking. See, I think it is. I think it looks delicious. Oh, it's visually hideous. Jay, what are you not?

2:22:16What food do you not like? I like everything. Mudfish. Okay, mudfish is one fish that I do not like. Mudfish, you get it at the Vietnamese market. And it smells and is disgusting. I will never, ever eat it. You can't make me. You're our next challenge today. I'm not ever going to bet that. It'll make you die. It won't make you die. It'll make you die. M10Cool is calling in to tell us. It's one of those pet peeves that you have that you actually do. Yeah, sorry to take a minute. You guys are probably past the segment. It's all right. When the lights, you know, you're sitting at a light and it turns green and you start throwing it on the horn. But I do the same thing. Yep, I do too. Oh, yesterday. We get annoyed with people in traffic doing the same stuff we do between games. I had to go get some food because I was starving. Yesterday I played baseball. So I'm pulling out of the Taco Bell drive-thru, weird, and there was a girl in front of me. Yeah. And I had my window down, and I was sitting there, and, dude, it was wide open for her to make this left. Right. Three times it was wide open. Didn't say anything. Finally, the fourth time I go, I'm sitting in my car, I go, go! Oh, wow. And I look up, and I kind of kick my head to the side and notice that her window was open. And I saw her head whip around real quick.

2:23:39I scooched down in my chair. I felt so bad. I felt bad. You couldn't help it. It just came out. It came out. The dark passenger was with me. Dark passenger just came out real good. Go! It's like, that's weird. It's just a steering wheel and no person in that car. Yeah, exactly. What is going on back there? I just heard a very loud voice yell at me. Those pair of hands are yelling at me. Yeah, I scooched way down the seat. I was like, oh boy. Let's see. M1 Matt is on the line. Hi, Matt. How are you? I got a double whammy today. What do you mean? Well, what I mean is I didn't look at a calendar and realize today's a holiday. Yep. So everyone I know has a day off from work. I'm a tennis pro, so I must have booked like literally eight hours of tennis lessons today. Oh, my gosh. You're actually a tennis pro? I'm a tennis instructor. Tennis instructor. That's awesome. I'm going to be teaching lessons all freaking day while everybody's out having fun. Barbecuing real good. Wow. And the other one is, you know, I got this long ass day and I'm supposed to pick up some friends and bring them to the airport this morning. And I'm freaking out like, God, I got to get them there on time. You know, their flights are like 8 o'clock. I got to wake up at the crack of dawn and come and get them. I leave like, I'm driving from like PB to Mission Valley to pick them up.

2:25:03I must have left like an hour earlier. Thinking there was going to be traffic. Nobody. There is not one car. Oh, yeah. It's a ghost town. Hey, thanks for the call. Perfect. Thank you. Guy's a tennis pro, but he just hits on cougars all day. Oh, yeah. Lucky SOB. I forgot to tell you the best time to make sex. According to a survey, when we come back, I'll give you the answer. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. At Mission Federal Credit Union, your success is our bottom line. For great rates, easy access, and a better banking experience, call us, stop by, or visit missionfed.com today. Eventually, it's going to happen. You'll turn the key and your engine won't start.

2:26:12When your battery loses its power, you lose your ability to get out, get around, and get things done. When it's time to replace your battery, trust the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts to help you choose the superstar battery that's an exact fit for your vehicle. Whether it's a reliable economy, hardworking premium, or powerful extreme, O'Reilly Auto Parts has the superstar battery you need in stock at a guaranteed low price. Don't let a dead battery slow you down. Visit O'Reilly Auto Parts today for a reliable, hard-working SuperStart battery you can count on. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts. Better prices. Every day. Geico talks about family. At Geico, we've been serving the military for 75 years. So we know that military families, just like other families, need to save money. That's why Geico offers special military discounts just for you. There's even an emergency deployment discount, because families come first. See how much GEICO's military discounts on car insurance could save you. Go to GEICO.com, call 1-800-MILITARY, or contact your local GEICO agent today. GEICO talks about working together. At GEICO, we've been serving the military for 75 years, so we know how working together makes the military even stronger.

2:27:42That's why we've made GEICO's special discounts on car insurance also available to members of the Navy Federal Credit Union. It works for everybody. See how much GEICO's military discounts on car insurance could save you. Go to GEICO.com, call 1-800-MILITARY, or contact your local GEICO agent today. There are different types of fresh. There's youthful, and then there's category-defining, envelope-pushing, convention-breaking fresh. Like the 2012 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class. Consider the 2012 E-Class. With innovative technology features like Attention Assist and Distronic Plus, the E-Class now boasts a more powerful, fuel-efficient direct-injection engine. Get the 2012 E350 Sport Sedan, an IHS top safety pick, at 1.9% APR for 24 to 36 months, or lease one for just $5.99 a month for 33 months with $4,369 due at signing. A new year. A new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services. At participating dealers through January 31st, 2012. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Jennifer Howdy was a woman on a mission. Yep.

2:29:03Saving money for a Caribbean vacation. Undaunted by any obstacle. You flatter me. But with Navy Federal Credit Union's Cash Rewards credit card, I get cash back with every purchase. Skillful, yet humble. You make everything sound so dramatic. And unafraid to speak the truth. Unafraid. I love it. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Roofing contractors. Here's a better way to build your business. GAF's new lifetime roofing system. It gets your customers a lifetime limited warranty when you install any GAF lifetime shingle and three or more qualifying accessories. The roof stands up to wind, water, and time while giving you a competitive advantage and your customers peace of mind. Get the GAF lifetime roofing system at the Home Depot. GAF shingles, quality you can trust. See limited warranty for complete coverage and restrictions. On March 21st, 1963, Alcatraz officially closed. Only that's not what happened. Not at all. 302 men disappeared that night. They were never seen again. Until now. Fox Tonight, the country's most notorious prison. It's the two-hour series premiere of Alcatraz. Next stop, The Rock. What happened then is a mystery. Radio at the station. Tell them to send everyone. What happens now is beyond belief.

2:30:30The worst criminals this country has ever known are coming back. You've been waiting for this. From the imagination of J.J. Abrams and the producers of Lost comes the series that has critics raving. The best is yet to come this season. We are so in. Sylvain's parents showed up at the scene. That's just not possible. Sylvain died over 30 years ago. It's the two-hour series premiere event, Alcatraz. Are you with me? All the way. Fox Tonight. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. Hey, Big Carl. What's up, Big Mac? So, you gonna introduce me to your friends? This is just my combo. Fries and a drink. What up? Hi! Why do you have to give people another reason to ignore me? You already have twice my meat and cheese. And a lot less money. If I had legs, I'd kick you right in the pickle. The Big Carl Combo. With fries and a drink for only $5. Now, at Carl's Jr. Tax not included. Price and participation may vary. Combo includes small fries and a small drink. Every day, it's the same old thing. All work, no play, and no free lunches. Well, at Harrah's Ring Con, break the routine. All you have to do is play 30 minutes, earn 25 reward credits, and you'll get a free buffet. There's no strings attached, just big, juicy pieces of prime rib. Offer valid from Sunday through Thursday, open to close. Harrah's Ring Con. Come out and play.

2:31:50This report, it's brought to you by Brandman University. As a non-profit school, Brandman University is fully dedicated to your success. Call 1-800-275-9700 and you can learn more. Freeways are looking pretty good. A couple of incidents, one on the 125 northbound of the 52 East Connector. No injuries there. I don't really see a backup behind it either. 52 West onto South Genesee Avenue, that off-ramp. They're waiting on a tow truck. Got a blue storage container rolling around in the middle of lanes here on the 125 northbound right before Hammershaw Road. This report also brought to you by Mercedes-Benz. It's your opportunity to make the car in your driveway the car of your dreams. For a short time, you can lease a brand new C-Class for only $349 a month, but only at your local Mercedes-Benz dealer. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9.

2:32:53Now back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. With Mikey. Welcome. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Wood. Wood. Are you kidding? Wood. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. On FM 94.9. That createyourdesignonline.com is your one-stop shop when it comes to graphic design. That guy gets it. And he gets it quickly. I said to him on Saturday, hey, can you get something up that kind of outlines all of the stuff for the bet that Woods and I have? He said, I'll have a printable PDF for your listeners up. And he bought 20 minutes later. There it was. Beautiful, too. Guy's amazing. If you need anything done, Jared, at createyourdesignonline.com. Good idea for Valentine's Day? Yeah.

2:34:23Also, turn one of those pictures that we have of you and the missus or something into a portrait print. Be nice. Very nice. He does that. Be nice to do. Beautiful weather we're having, eh? Why? Would have been a nice day to sleep in. Yes. O.B. Be a nice day for lunch. That's what you say every day. Pushing this lunch. How badly do you want cheesecake today? Pretty bad. Pretty bad. Yeah. Mess up the middle of my week. It's all right. I just want to do what's best for the radio myself. That's usually what I have in mind. That's what I got in mind. You know what I mean? Not my own personal gym or eating schedule. Not my own personal agenda. You know what I mean? Try to put the radio show before that. Right. We are poking the tiger. Hey, guess what? I got whiskers too, pal. I'm a tiger. Do your worst. All right.

2:35:28I just did not like you to not be a man of your word, Mike. I've always kind of thought of you as somebody to look up to when he writes something down that he sticks to it, you know? That's just the way I... He's a radio personality, not a Facebook personality. Well, but when he posts it on his radio's fan page, I just have always looked at Mike as the guy's a man of his word. Wow. I was going to say the exact opposite to you. Zing. Is that a fact? Did you get, like, a... Did you get thousands and thousands of comments on that post? Yeah. Yeah. You know, if by thousands, you mean none. But one guy called in sick today. Oscar, I think it's Ozzy. He called in sick today. Now he's on his way back to work. He's going to come have lunch. He's full of it. He's never come to one single event. He does bits. True story. He was going to come today. Guy called in sick. Better call in sick again. That's what happens for lying. Yeah. Let that be a lesson to you. Well, I didn't lie. I'm talking to him. I made it. Poor judgment call. I forgot what day it was. I'm going to remember that. I'm going to be like, hey, I didn't lie. I used poor judgment. It's my new bit. Is it? Yes. It's my new bit. Made a judgment call. It was a poor decision. What have you not told me about in sports that I need to know?

2:36:46I think I've told you pretty much everything that you'd be interested in, but I will recap for you some very exciting football games this weekend. As you may or may not know, these are the people that moved on. New England did, in fact, beat the Tebow-led Broncos soundly, 45-10. I gave you two touchdowns. I could have given you four. Yeah. How gnarly is that? That's insane. Tom Brady was insane. Through six touchdown passes. It was just unbelievable. Baltimore did beat Houston 20-13. San Francisco in a great game over New Orleans 36-32. And the Giants won and beat Green Bay at Lambeau for the first time this year 37-20. So there are four teams left. The winner of the AFC Championship game will either be the Ravens or the Patriots. And that will be noon on Sunday. And the winner of the NFC Championship game will either be the Giants or the Niners. That game will be at 3.30 on Sunday. I think the Ravens have a decent chance against the Patriots. I actually do. Let's do another bet. I'll give you another two touchdowns. I don't know about that. One of you should have to eat Raven. You know, I was wondering about a Raven yesterday. Where do we eat a Raven? Where are Ravens? They're on the East Coast. Are they? Yeah, they're gross. They look like crows, right? Yeah.

2:38:07Are they mean? They have them out here, too, but... They do that... Because they're... I mean, if you use it as a mascot, it's pretty hard-ass, isn't it? Quoth. Quoth the Raven. Nevermore. Don't quote them. Right. Don't quote the Raven? Quoth the Raven. Quoth. Quoth. What does that mean? Edgar Allan Poe. What does it mean? It's a story he wrote called the Raven. It's another word for said. Wow. Nevermore. I thought it was quote. It's quoth. Quoth. Man, I did not go to college, and it shows. I learned that in, like, seventh grade. Yeah, they did that. Everybody read The Raven pretty early, I think. What was the beating heart one? The Cask of a Montagliato? Probably. Oh, that's right. Cask of the Montagliato. He was a Mason, a Freemason. Yeah, I think so. Part of the workers' union. He bricked the guy inside, and he could hear his heartbeat. Yeah, he wasn't all the way dead. It was freaky. But it was actually just his own heartbeat, his conscience. That's right.

2:39:08There you go. Best time to make sex. Right now. 7.30 a.m. Missed it. That's why no one was calling in. Everybody was making sex. Must have been making love. They did a, I don't know, like a survey study. 7.30 is the best time, which I thought that is opposite. Yeah, it's a bad time. It's a great time. I think it's great. Stinky breath and everything. Stinky breath. Get up and brush your teeth. Go in real quick. Do your business. Wash yourself off. Brush your teeth. Make love. Yes. Oh, spontaneous. You come back to bed and then you start cuddling and you say, good morning. It's the best. What are you, crazy? That's what romp sessions are for. They lead to lovemaking. That's what you call it. You call it a romp session. It's a romp around. How's a milk store, by the way? Replenished. I knew it would open again. Milk store was open for business this week and I knew it. Everything was half off. I knew it. No, it wasn't. Wasn't it? It was expensive. Oh. This girl over here. No willpower. What we're talking about is why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? And so she said, well, guess what? The milk store is closed. You guys have been getting too much free milk. And so she was like, the milk store is closed. And let me tell you something. It stayed closed for a full seven days. Twelve. Twelve days. Twelve days.

2:40:34I also had a visitor in town. My sister. Oh, come on. I don't want to hear about your hand flow in town. My sister was in town the day that she left. The milk store opened for business. Re-grand opening. Completely remodeled. Completely renovated. Facelift. Is Matt just home right now with his hands on? Sunglasses on. Nude. Nude. Just feet up on the table. He's just like. Yep. Oh, man, he's burping up milkshake. I told him I was going to become a born-again virgin for 2012. He got a milk mustache right now. Yeah. Hey, you got milk? I did. I did. Why does Matt have a 7X? Yeah, I don't know. Because he's from Virginia. He's hanging out with me, apparently. That will be has no willpower. No willpower. Girl's got needs, too, you know. Yeah. That girl. 5701949. Maybe you have your own glass of milk. If you get one. Yeah. I do. Keep that store closed. Please your own. And one Jim from Ocean Beach. Oh, it's a headache. Hey, good morning, Mike. Good morning. Number one, maybe too much information a little bit from L.C. They asked for it. Never enough. We misunderstood. It wasn't that visitor. Oh, no, no. It was my sister. It was her sister. My actual sister was in town. Yes.

2:42:03No, really, I have an aunt named Flo. My aunt Florence is here. Florence Henderson is my aunt. She's my aunt. Florence and the Machine is my aunt. She was actually in town. Go ahead. Mikey, I just wanted to call you and let you know that actually I'm still up and watching the Patriots still scoring. They are still throwing touchdowns. But they're still scoring on Tim Tebow. So true, man. 70 touchdowns. Gosh darn. Freaking hype machine is over for the week. Yeah. Man, he was hyped. Oh, my gosh. The guy had no choice but to fail. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, not his fault. The media did it. He didn't do anything. I know. I know. Yeah, it's not his fault at all. You know what I heard about him? He reaches out to a family in need of every single game, gives them tickets. Sees them before the game. Maybe reads a playbook before the game. Walks them out to their car after shooting. Maybe takes some practice throws. Really, Woods? I don't know. I mean, it's a good bit. Maybe you do it after the game, though. Maybe I'd have you focus up on the Patriots D. You're just able to find a way to... You can't hate on... I don't hate on him. He can't throw a football. You can't hate on the guy. You hate on the mania. Yeah, the mania, and he can't throw a football. He can when he applies himself.

2:43:25Mike and I were watching, and we were like, oh, boy, with that throw again. Well, his bit was running, but he couldn't even run on Sunday. Saturday. 16% of us are late to work once a week, it says. What? Are you? Yeah. I am, too. Now, here's the top four excuses. You guys got any guesses? I know what mine is. What? Mine is always guess. Always. And I drive in to at home. I pull in and I go, damn it, I need gas. And instead of turning around and going to the gas station, knocking it out like a dummy. You're like, I'll wake up five minutes early tomorrow. I do the same thing. Yeah. And it's always when I'm already late that I then have to get gas. I'm like, with our new schedule, I'm really struggling. I'm really struggling to get here at the right time. Oh, I hate getting gas. Yeah. Well. This is what they say. Public transportation is often used as an excuse. Bus didn't come. It's a good one. It's a real good one. Bad weather. Yep. That's a good one, too. Yeah. Man, I was driving in, but it's foggy. It's foggy. I couldn't slow down. Yeah. Couldn't speed. Oversleeping is the second biggest excuse. Been there. Been there. Is that a really good excuse, though? If you oversleep, it's your fault. It's the truth, though. Yeah, I don't know why people would.

2:44:45Maybe when they say excuse, they mean these are really reasons. Reasons, yeah. That people are late. Traffic. 31% of us say that. Dude, I told you guys, Mike, about one time I had an appearance at Dave & Buster's on Monday Night Football. The Chargers were here. The game, what would kickoff be? About 5, 5.30? Kickoff for Monday Night Football was at 6. Was it 6? My appearance was at 5. So I'm there an hour early. I left my house in North County at 3.30. Do you know what time I got to my parents? Six o'clock. Two and a half hours to go from where I live to Mission Valley. I wanted to die. So I had to stay extra. But that traffic, I couldn't move. I mean, I was flipping out. Oh, gosh. That is the worst. The late feeling. Oh, the late feeling is the worst. It's the worst. Let's see. Would you rather have the U.S. government switch to a mandatory three-day weekend for every employee or be at your ideal weight with no effort? Woods, come on. My ideal weight with no effort would be absolutely... With no effort? I don't mind work. I mind being fat. You guys are so selfish. I mind being fat. Everyone gets three-day weekend. Everyone gets it. I don't care about working. You can work at your weight. You can't...

2:46:10work at having extra time. Yeah, but with this, I don't have to. I can eat what I want. Yeah. But then it's all about you. Yeah. Yeah. What about everybody else? Yeah, everybody else. Oh, please. Like, you guys are thinking of everyone else and you're thinking of yourselves. Oh, everyone. What good is a three-day weekend if other people are at work? You want to hang out with people. You want the day off. You want to relax. And hang out with people. No. Yes. Yeah. I love these two. I know. Sitting there trying to pretend. The greater good bit. I'm just looking out for my fellow man. With three days, you could probably get in shape. Oh, yeah. Really? I mean, if you get off the couch. Let me tell you. This guy doesn't have to work at it. No. He didn't have to work at it. Oh, I work at it every day. What do I eat for breakfast? I eat yogurt. That's true. But you mostly have good genetics. No. I think he has bad genetics. You know what the deal is? Look at his family. They're all thin. My system is shut down. I mean, it's like I've gotten to a point now where I can't eat anything. I have to really watch everything I eat. The thinner you are, you can have the same. Jay and you could have the same amount of calories and you would process it as you gain more weight. Because the more in shape you are. Is that right? It's awesome. No, the more in shape you are, the better they eat. You see, Mike, you and Jay could wear the same shirt.

2:47:32Right. He'd be handsome. Yes. Yours would look like a sausage case. Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. Mike, let's say, for instance, that you two were wearing the same suit. You'd look fat in yours. Your seams would be bursting. While Jay would look... Svelte. Svelte and nice. No, I'm just saying, the more out of shape you are, the more weight you put on. You don't process calories the same way. You see, Mike, you and Jay could... splash on the same aftershave. You'd think he would smell lovely. Yes. He would smell amazing. But the reason for that, Mike, is because you're inferior and he is superior. Well, and you're hideous. Yes. And he's not. Mike. No. Listen. What I'm trying to explain to you here is that you're short and fat. No. And he is tall and thin and good looking. I'm just saying, he... It's maintenance for him. He keeps going. He works out like three times a day. He does. You know, Mike, and you don't. You don't. You don't. Like, Mike, you don't ever work out is what I'm saying. If you just washed what you ate. What's washed? Why would I wash what I eat? Don't you wash your vegetables? Just wash everything? Wash what you eat and then exercise, even for 30 minutes. You would see a dramatic difference. No, I'd see a dramatic difference. Yeah, it would be dramatic. It's two words. It's drastic and dramatic. Dramatic. I'm making my words now.

2:48:58Makes sense. It's termasticized to my bones, Mike. It's really sad. It's really, really sad. But you see what I'm saying, right? Oh, I sure do. Totally. It's the same with Woods. Yeah. You know what I mean, Woods? You're disgusting. You're fat, too. You're fat also. I mean, he's getting there. Yeah, he's working on it now. He's doing stuff. Well, you know, it's like this. It's like, Mike, you know, women, you could take the same girl. Okay. One would be attracted to Jay. Yes. And the same girl would not, you know, be attracted to you. Right. The same girl, two different men. It's unbelievable. Yeah. How it works. Two guys, you know, one handsome, you know, and then the other one, well, you know, you. You. And then a woman wants to make sex to him, looks at you, doesn't. No, no. What is your ideal body image?

2:49:59Like, somebody comes in, he's a sculptor, and he can sculpt you. What does it look like? Give us a celebrity. He can't make you taller, but he can make you... No, I'm just saying. Like, he's going to sculpt your body right now. What does it look like? I mean, working within a jockey's... You know, working within a jockey's... That's not what I meant, you jerk. You know, Frank. That's not what I meant, you jerk. Can't make you taller. He's not going to make you taller. Mikey, a lot of the actors... Actors are short. Yes, they are. Jake Glazer is very short. You pointed out to me this weekend. Mike. The analyst. Mike. Tom Cruise is very short. Brad Pitt. Mike, think of, you know, like a little person, okay? Working within those parameters of people that shop at not only the big and tall, but the short and round. Then, you know, if you could sculpt that. Yeah, if you could. Tiny little thing. What would you do, you know? What's your up deal? What would it look like? I don't even begin. I couldn't even begin to know how to answer that. I know. I mean, what am I supposed to say? I mean, Brad Pitt? Bradley Cooper? Bradley Cooper. Yes. Yes. Yeah, Mike, you'd be like a, you know, like a really, really vertically challenged. I bet you Bradley Cooper's got an inch or two on you. And that's it. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, he's not very tall.

2:51:32That's not what I mean. I know what Jay meant. Me. Jay's comment. I know what he did, too. He was talking about your wiener. Woods. I was talking about your height. Woods. Don't help. Woods is able to say this because Woods is six feet tall. Maybe taller. Six one. Six one. So, yeah. Must be fun to just sit there and... Mike. Let's be tall. I'm fat, though. I'm tall and fat. Are you? Yeah, I have breasts. I put on, you know, the... A bra? You know. Hey, listen. I have breasts. Can you milk me? I have breasts, but I'm, according to you, you know, Mike. Real short. You're a shorter guy. I know. You know the undershirts that you wear? Oh, boy. You know the undershirts you wear under your jersey? Yes. And they're, like, kind of tight? Well, I put one on. I have a new one. And I put it on, and I go, babe, come look at this. It fully accentuated my tiny breasts, and they were poking out, and they looked like boobs. Great. And my fat belly, and I go, great. This is the worst shirt I've ever worn. At least you have small T's. I don't. Oh, God, but they're like. I have double D's. You know? And when I lose weight and I'm in shape, I don't think I'm.

2:52:53That hideous. I mean, I'm hideous, but I'm not that hideous. Your birthday that one year? Gosh, you were sharp. Looking good. But you were working out like crazy. Yeah. Like a half an hour a day, Mike. It's all it takes. Get crazy again. Come with me to the gym. We'll do it up. And we'll show them. What I meant was, Wood said he had some junk food this weekend. Oh, yeah. It probably didn't affect him as badly as it would have three weeks ago because he's been working out. Yeah. And eating better during the week. Yeah. Boy, but I put down those cinnamon rolls at your house, didn't I? Yes, Jerry. If you build it, Mike. Yeah. Yes, we add cinnamon rolls. Weird. Chicken wings. Yeah, chicken wings. What else do you eat there? Pizza. We have pizza. Oh, wow. Man. Gosh, Mike, I think you'd eventually get full. Cobb party. What's a cob party? I think you know it. It's where you all bring some fresh Alaskan cod.

2:53:55No, Cobb, my Cobb. It's a Cobb party. When we come back, you're going to hear some Hawaiian guys talking about a great white off the side of their boat. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot them at 1049mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Supported by our good friends at Sports Chalet. What's up there, son of a biscuit? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight, silent comedy will headline the Casbah transfer will open. The Howells are having their seated release party at the Casbah. Sarah Watkins of Nickel Creek will sit in with them. Jesse LaMonica on the dime novels and Family Wagon also playing that night. That's on the 27th. Not a Surfer at 4th and B on the 28th. And Dr. Dog's at the belly up.

2:55:03February 7th and still to come. Young the Giant at Soma, February 10th. Plus shows from Rob Rob Riot, Flogging Molly, Lagwagon, Cults, Ting Ting's Rise Against, Red Hot Chili Peppers have rescheduled to September 23rd. And we've got two weekends of Coachella in April with headliners Black Keys, Radiohead, and Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. You can get the full lineups on our website. So there you have it. Get out there. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM 949SD.com. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. Yeah, and your old pal, LLB. LLB, what did you do this weekend that you used your beautiful blue eyes for? Oh, well, I watched some movies, sands, glasses, or contacts. That's right. I hit some baseballs very hard this weekend. I went to Torrey Pines. Oh, did a little hiking. Did a little hiking. Yeah, you know what's cool? I played golf at Torrey Pines last week, and I can actually see my balls now. My golf balls, when they're in the rough, I can see them where I used to not be able to. I called out someone that looked like Terry Bradshaw from about 400 yards away. And my boyfriend said, how can you see that guy? Well, the reason you can see it is because you had LASIK surgery like I did at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff. Look, get in there today. Do a free consultation with them. They will take care of you. Call them. It's very easy.

2:56:29858-452-3937. How do they find them online, LB? Oh, you can go to clearvieweyes.com, and you've got to get in there and make your consultation. And if you're still pussyfooting around, I've got some coupons for you for $1,000 off your procedure. I found some of those, too. So give us a call, shoot us a message, send us an email. But most importantly, give them a call and just set your appointment. 858-452-3937. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Affordability, technology, and experience. This is Toyota Today. The best selection. The best dealership experience. And the best ownership experience. Right now, get low 1-9 financing on a new 2012 Sienna or Highlander. Both get great gas mileage. 24 MPG highway for Sienna. 25 for Highlander. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer and save thousands with low 1-9 financing on a new 2012 Sienna or Highlander. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualified Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. 2012 EPA estimated mileage. Actual mileage will vary. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealer stock by midnight 131. Offer excludes Highlander Hybrid. For details, visit buyatoyota.com. On March 21st, 1963, Alcatraz officially closed. Only that's not what happened. Not at all.

2:58:05302 men disappeared that night. They were never seen again until now. Fox Tonight. Discover the mystery within the country's most notorious prison. It's the two-hour series premiere of Alcatraz. Next stop, The Rock. What happened then is... It's a mystery. Radio at the station. Tell them to send everyone. What happens now is beyond belief. The worst criminals this country has ever known are coming back. You've been waiting for this. From the imagination of J.J. Abrams and the producers of Lost comes the series that has critics raving. The best is yet to come this season. We are so in. Sylvain's parents showed up at the scene. That's just not possible. Sylvain died over 30 years ago. It's the two-hour series premiere event, Alcatraz. You with me? All the way. Fox tonight. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. And I want to talk to you about great hair and how to get it. And who better to ask than my old pal, Woodsy. That's right. It's your old pal, Woodsy. And I got to tell you, my wife, Jamie, was using Ovation for a long time. And then I picked it up and I started using it. And now I'm in love with it. What do you like about it? I love the way it smells. I love the way my hair looks now. And I love the way that it feels now.

2:59:19It's much fuller and even shinier. Absolutely. Much like my own hair. I've been using Ovation for over a year now, and people are still complimenting me. Two people this morning, as a matter of fact, and I tell them, Ovation, it's working 100%, and it helps me grow my hair a lot faster. It comes in fuller. It's softer. It's shiny. It smells good. And the best part about it, it's safe, it's non-toxic, and it's 100% guaranteed. For thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, log on to OvationHair.com and learn more about the Advanced Ovation Cell Therapy System. You've got to enter FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So log on to OvationHair.com, enter FM949, and you're going to get your special discount. Hi, my name is Angelina. I'm a Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market customer, and I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market made with real customers, not famous actors, saving money we pass on to you. Fresh and Easy products or vegetables that I use make really good, fresh meals for our family. I have a daughter and a son. We're looking to keep a healthy lifestyle, and I get really good quality food here. For my husband, I have to come to Fresh and Easy and pick up trail mix or mixed nuts. They're roasted right. The food doesn't taste processed. It always tastes like the food it's supposed to be. If you're having an olive, it tastes like an olive. It doesn't taste like whatever it was processed in. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. And thank you, Angelina. You just saved us some money.

3:00:42So now we can offer low prices on our fresh, never frozen F&E chicken breast family packs. Just $2.49 a pound and fresh cherries for only $1.99 per pound while supplies last until January 17th, 2012. Have you tried your best to lose weight on your own? Bad diets, workout gimmicks, no carbs, and still no results. It's time for you to take control and to reach your goal. If you want 2012 to be the last time you make weight loss your New Year's resolution, Call 1-800-GET-THIN today. If you need to lose 15 pounds or over 100 pounds, 1-800-GET-THIN can help with customized medical weight loss treatments. A weight loss specialist will work with you one-on-one to help you get on the right path to a new you.

3:01:31Call 1-800-GET-THIN to attend a free weight loss seminar today. Your medical weight loss program may be covered by PPO insurance. Call 1-800-GET-THIN now for a free PPO insurance verification and get your new life started today. 1-800-GET-THIN. That's 1-800-953-5000. See how much GEICO's military discounts on car insurance could save you. Go to geico.com. Call 1-800-MILITARY or contact your local GEICO agent today. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us, now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. Well, it looks like a lot of stuff happening on the 67 just north of Willow Road. There's an accident here, another one at...

3:02:24Gosh, at the 52 west to the 125 southbound connector, we've got tow trucks on the way there. On the 805 southbound before Miramar Road, you're going to be delayed due to an accident in that area. And it looks like the 5 southbound to the 52 east connector, we've got a car that is stalled. This report brought to you by Exxon Mobil. At Exxon and Mobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car will run cleaner. Just one more way, they make gasoline work harder for you. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check, green, check. On FM 94.9. This great white shark a mile off the coast of Oahu. Now, these guys are out there. They're marlin fishing.

3:03:42and they happen to pull this giant marlin into the boat. These guys are native Hawaiians. And pull a marlin into the boat, and then they see this shark. This is me and Dom's. We just didn't pull in one 200-pound marlin. And just so happened, one great white shark just came about a boat. Big bugger. Maybe about, nah, not huge, but maybe about 18, 15 feet long. I sit trying to follow him around the boat. We're just pulling this big marlin. And this great white is cruising around the boat. We're just tripping. Big great white. We're tripping out right now. To all the brothers who don't believe that great white, here it is, right next to the boat. We're just pulling one marlin. Brother Dom's was showing Palu, and he came back. Big bugger. Big bugger. Now we get the proof right here. I know. I know. People going trip, they see this video, Dom. We stay only about eight miles from shore. Eight miles from shore. And this big, great white shark stay right here cruising next to the boat. He hungry. He smelt the marlin. Lucky thing we brought him in. Big bugger. I'm going to follow him around the boat again. Look at this. This is crazy. He's taking spins around the boat right now. Checking us out. Big one.

3:05:22This shark was 18 feet. That's unbelievable. I love that language. How great is the audience? I love that language. We go, brother man. We go, brother. That's right. This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of autopsy on a fish. I got video. It's unbelievable. Is it massive? Dude, it sounds massive. It circled their boat for an hour. What do you do? Do you try to get out of there, or do you just sit there and wait it out? They were fine. They were watching. Yeah, they were just watching it. I think I would want to watch that. I would, too. You're going to need a bigger boat. Well, of course you are. And I am not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Ketner voice spill out all over the dock. It's called pigeon, right? Yeah. That language? Pigeon? I'd never really heard it. L.O.B. talked about it. Yeah. I'd never really heard it. It's one of my favorite stories. We tried to learn some, speak it. You did? Yeah. Well, by we, I mean my boyfriend. How's that? We were listening to, you get like two stations on all the islands there. They play whatever that artist was that was playing in the background. Right. That guy. Yeah. If you go to Kehlani's and it's the same guy. Yeah. He's playing the whole time. Or they play like, today, a we go, means.

3:06:50Are we going to go to the store? Mm-hmm. Today, are we going? Are we going? And your boyfriend? He decided to start using it once we went places to buy things. That'll get you beat up real good. Yep. Oh, boy. Yeah. Was he trying to assimilate or was he doing bits? Yeah, he does bits. He was doing bits. When I take him back to New Jersey, he does the same bit. And he's terrible. I think he's killed there as well. Yeah. It's very true. He's killed in both places. We went to a place. in my town, my hometown, that is run by the mafia. Yeah. And he was doing bits there. And I was terrified. Don't. Yeah, you're like, look, you come in here, you order your freaking cannelloni, and you don't say a word. Oh, you guys in the mafia are out here. Hey, you in the mafia. He was trying to say things the way that people say it in that area. And then he went up and asked for a refill on a soda, which there's no refills there. But the girl did it anyway. And I'm watching and my heart is like pounding my chest. And the guy that runs the place is like, Hey, you. I'm like, oh, my God. He's dead. He's like, he looks like my cousin, Joey. Hey, didn't this look like Joey? And he's like calling over all the people. And Matt told the guy to go home and get his shine box. Right. Okay. Just trying to have fun. Oh, my gosh. Yep. Let's see. 5701949 is our number. Gosh, I would scare. The shark or the mafia? The mafia.

3:08:21And the shark. I don't know if he wouldn't scare me. If you don't know him, I know how to talk to those guys. You go inside the cage. Sharks in the cage. Cage goes in the water. Cage goes in the water. You go in the water. Sharks in the water. Sharks in the water. Our shark. 570-1949. Let's see. This is M1 Steven, and he's got a critique of L.O.B.'s pigeon. Are you there, Steven? Yes, this is me. This is Steven. Steven, now, do you do the pigeon thing? Oh, yeah. Are you from there? Yeah, I just went to move out from Hawaii not too long ago. And I got to tell you guys, it's so pretty funny. But I watched that video yesterday. And I was reading all the comments and, you know, listening to our, like, looking and everybody's talking crap. And, you know, it's just how we were raised. You know what I mean? Cannot change that. It's a dialect. Oh, no, we like it. I love it. We like it. I'm not buying it.

3:09:19But, you know, that'll be, if you ever like lessons, sister girl, I teach you anytime. This is the worst pigeon that I've ever seen. He's real. He's not real. He's real. Really? Is he from Dublin, Hawaii? Is that the deal? I'm from Holoka'i, Hawaii, bro. Really? You're from Dublin? He's gonna kill you. Yeah, he's gonna kill you. The guy's been to Hawaii on vacation. He surfed the North Shore. But he's not from Hawaii. I'm from Kapake, okay? Holoka'i, Hawaii. Listen. I believe you. I believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I'm going to hook you up to a lie detector test. That's fine. Anytime, bro. Anytime. How did you like my Wego? Wego shoots, bro. That's all I've got. He's legit. Yeah, he's legit. That's all I have. Wego? Wego? The worst, though, if you've ever watched a television show, Dog the Bounty Hunter, the wife of Dog, Beth, she does it. She tries to do it. She does? She tries. It's terrible. It is. It's horrendous. Are they in Hawaii? Yeah, they're in Hawaii. Hey, where's a good, how long you been here? I've been here for about six months now.

3:10:45Have you found a place that does, like, authentic, good Hawaiian stuff? Nope. Kehlani's. Kehlani's. You got to try it. Yeah. They're from Kauai. It's Ono. Yeah, they did. It's Ono. 100%. Ono is good. Good. I do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got, like, little, on the tables there in Kehlani's, they have little, like, pigeon sayings. So I've picked up on some of it. Oh, there you go. Maybe we hit that today. Yeah. That's the one of the kind on D Street. The 101, right? D Street on 101. On the 101 in Oceanside and off the 101 in Encinitas. A couple of my cousins would tell me it was pretty good, but I don't know. It's kind of hard, you know? It's Ono. And you're for sure from Hawaii. Yeah. He's from Hawaii. He's a dude. He's a guy. Hey, thanks, man. No problem, bro. No problem. But you know what? You guys take care. I love your show. Keep doing what you're doing, bro. Thank you very much. Thank you. Love that. That's Shane. Oh, gosh. That's not Ono. That is not Ono. All right. It's the kind. I'm terrible. Did you guys hear what happened to Gene Hackman? No. I'll tell you all about it. Did anybody see that Napoleon Dynamite cartoon last night? I saw the preview. I haven't seen the show. No, thank you. Is it terrible? He is pretty terrible. Mikey's show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949.

3:12:32More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Does depression make everything feel like an uphill climb? Explore a different path. Local doctors are looking for adults with depression symptoms for a research study enrolling now. Call 866-4study1 now to find out if you qualify. Some people may receive an approved medication. Others may receive an inactive placebo. Compensation for your time is available. Call 866-4study1. Explore a different path. That's 866-4study1. Roofing contractors. Here's a better way to build your business. GAF's new lifetime roofing system. It gets your customers a lifetime limited warranty when you install any GAF lifetime shingle and three or more qualifying accessories. The roof stands up to win water and time while giving you a competitive advantage and your customers peace of mind. Get the GAF lifetime roofing system at the Home Depot. GAF shingles. Quality you can trust. See limited warranty for complete coverage and restrictions. I just got 4G LTE from AT&T here in San Diego. And let me tell you, it's crazy fast. Like living in the future fast. Up to 10 times faster than 3G. My roommates can't keep up. Ooh, Jenny, did you hear... That Barbara has an extra ticket to the concert? Lisa, that's so 42 seconds ago. I already downloaded it from the link she sent me. Oh, great. Lisa will forget about that ticket soon. See, about 52 seconds ago, her boyfriend changed his relationship status to single.

3:13:57She doesn't know that yet, but she will in 3, 2, 1. AT&T Rethink Possible. Introducing AT&T 4G LTE in San Diego with speeds up to 10 times faster than 3G. Come in now and get the Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket 4G LTE smartphone for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9. Visit att.com or store for details. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Compatible device and data plan required. Tablet and smartphone each require a new two-year service agreement with qualifying monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. On March 21st, 1963, Alcatraz officially closed. Only that's not what happened. Not at all. 302 men disappeared that night. They were never seen again until now. Fox Tonight. Discover the mystery within the country's most notorious prison. It's the two-hour series premiere of Alcatraz. Next stop, The Rock. What happened then?

3:14:56It's just not possible. Sylvain died over 30 years ago. It's the two-hour series premiere event, Alcatraz. You with me? All the way. Fox tonight. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. There's nothing like knowing someone's got your back, especially that someone is Navy Federal Credit Union, serving the military and their families at over 200 branches worldwide with 24-7 accessibility by phone and online. It's superior service and convenience. We're not a bank and more than just a credit union. See why it's better to belong at Navy Federal than to bank anywhere else. If you or your family are in the military or DOD, join today at NavyFederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Every day it's the same old thing. All work, no play, and no free lunches. Well, at Harrah's Ring Con, break the routine. All you have to do is play 30 minutes, earn 25 reward credits, and you'll get a free buffet. There's no strings attached, just big, juicy pieces of prime rib. Offer valid from Sunday through Thursday, open to close. Harrah's Ring Con, come out and play.

3:16:22It must be 21 or older to gamble. No way to stop before you start. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. Owned by the Recon Band of Louis-Saint-Year. Famished by H-Cal LLC. Copyright 2012. C-Search License Company, LLC. Original. Inventive. Latest and greatest. There are lots of ways to say fresh. And Mercedes-Benz is yet another. Take the 2012 C-Class. With its aggressive body styling, completely redesigned interior, and more fuel-efficient turbocharged engine, the C-Class sedan boasts over 2,000 refinements. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2012 C-Class, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Get the 2012 C250 Sport sedan, an IHS top safety pick, at 1.9% APR for 24 to 36 months, or at least one for just $349 a month for 33 months with $4,009 due at signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available online to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services. A participating dealers through January 31st, 2012. Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. Hey guys, it's Woodsy, and I am so happy to be back working with my friends at NutriShop. If you didn't know, I was working with them last year. I broke my ankle. I had to stop going to the gym.

3:17:41So what happened? I put on a few extra pounds like we all have. But it's the new year. It's 2012. It's time to get back in the gym. And if you want to lose weight, flatten your midsection, or improve muscle tone, all three of which I desperately need to do, get to NutriShop. There's two locations. There's one in Mission Valley and one in Eastlake. They carry all of the latest cutting-edge nutritional supplements at the guaranteed lowest prices. If you stop in before January 31st, you will get 25% off of your next purchase on all non-sale items. Start this new year off right with NutriShop. Start getting results today. Go in there and talk to these guys, man. They'll do a customized meal plan for you. The pricing is phenomenal. Check them out at NutriShopUSA.com. Attention, Cox Cable and Time Warner Cable no longer carry Universal Sports Network. Call 1-800-55-GET-US and tell them you want year-round coverage of Olympic sports. Call 1-800-55-GET-US-NOW. This report brought to you by ChapStick. ChapStick brand asks, do green apple kisses taste better than cherry? Sure, both protect and moisturize your lips, but which is a better kiss? Try it, decide, and tell them at facebook.com slash chapstick. Lots of stuff happening. Actually, it's kind of clearing up a little bit, but it still looks like somebody with pimples all over their face.

3:19:00You know, it's never in just one area. Genesee Avenue, the on-ramp to the 52 westbound. We've got an accident, no injuries there. Also on the South Sports Arena, the on-ramp to the 8 eastbound. They've got a tow truck on the way and an accident here on the 94 eastbound at the 15 north. This report also brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Bar and Grill. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calories menu. Great tasty meals starting at $9.99 only at Applebee's. Come in and try one today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back with Mikey. I'm a pretty honest guy and I've been a pretty honest guy for many years. Woods. I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was some village in Africa. She had like 60 of those rings around her neck and just boobs hanging out. Lauren. You know what I think the scariest thing is about clowns? They don't say anything. Even though they can talk. And Jay. Just a man trying to do the right thing. On FM 94.9. Think that guy's ever made out with three girls in the same night? Probably. Simon LeVon? Yes. Gene Hackman. First of all, I was shocked to learn how old Gene Hackman is. Yeah. He's really an older dude. Gene Hackman is in his 80s. Wow. Can you believe that? But he was hit by a car. He's fine. He's fine. Don't want to get everybody all... It'll make people sad right away, but he's fine. He had some bumps and bruises.

3:20:44But, yeah, Gene Hackman is 81 years old. That's a minor injuries to his body and to his leg. And this happened in Miami. He's riding his bicycle in the Florida Keys on Friday. And somebody hit him. Guys like him shouldn't. get old. It's not fair that guys like Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood, they should never, and Paul Newman, they should never have to age and die. Because you want to see them make more movies. For the rest of my life and my children's lives. They're so good. I can't believe he's 81. I can't believe he didn't break anything. Hey, another TV show I want to recommend that I saw for the first time. Alaska State Troopers. You seen it, Jay? No. Whole different breed. Whole different breed of human being. Because the people in Alaska, and I knew this, I was in rehab with a dude from Alaska. He was one of the craziest dudes, just crazy. And would do crazy things. The people that live in Alaska, it's kind of the Wild West. Yeah, crazy people. Yeah. And so the state troopers, they encounter people that have like a lot of guns.

3:22:06A lot of ammo. And they're usually arresting people that are armed, you know, for the very things that they're having to cite them for, like poaching. They're running into cats that are out there with rifles. Yeah. And they're pissed off and they're drunk, which is like not a good combo. Not a good combo. And so watching your heart pounds, watching these guys go and do their job. And plus, they're also looking out for, like, bears. You know, there's bears that could attack at any minute. So, yeah, it's pretty crazy. But it's a good show. Reminds me of Fargo. Yeah, it is like that. Did you finish Moneyball? Yeah, dude, and it's good. I watched it as well. Would you like it, Jay? Yeah, I liked it. Have you seen it, L.O.B.? No chance. You know what? Lauren. Don't tell her. Forget it. Watch the trailer. She won't do it. Because I'm not a football fan at all. It's about baseball. Oh, yeah. I'm not a baseball fan. I'm not a hockey fan in general. I don't generally like Olympic sports. I don't like curling in particular. I don't like golf. But Kim made me watch the trailer for it, and then I watched the movie. It's freaking good, isn't it? Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, they made it so that it's not really a movie about baseball. Brad Pitt's phenomenal. Jonah Hill, phenomenal in it. I thought he did a great job. Jonah Hill's in it? Yeah.

3:23:28Yeah, we'll watch it. At the end of it, it said Jonah Hill, and I go, oh, that's who Jonah Hill is. He's good. Identical Woods, yeah. He's good. Before he lost all the weight. Yes. He's not Identical Woods. No, Identical Woods is that guy from Lost that we saw in the preview of that new show called Alcatraz. No, it's not. It's like looking in a mirror. He just has a little bit longer hair. He's talking about the heavyset guy from Lost. Oh, what was his name? Farley? The face is identical. Actually, his name wasn't Farley. It was Hurley. Hurley. But to our friend Farley that's listening, I'm sure that joke was... I thought he meant... That comment. That's what I meant. Hurley. Hurley. Close. Hurley. Looking in a mirror. He's in that? It sounds like a good... The new show, Alcatraz? That looks pretty good. What is it about? It's about Alcatraz. No, it's not. It's about, like, these people. There was, like, 300 people that, like... They thought escaped or something like that. But are they ghosts or what? So many years later, I heard one little trailer. Their fingerprints showed up on something. They're like, that's impossible. They're dead. Sam died in 1961. Or should have died. Should have died. Is that what it's about? It's like ghosts? I think they found a portal. I think it's people that have escaped. I don't know. It's J.K. Abrams, so it'll probably be all weird. Yeah, it's a portal. Portal bit. Yeah. Like with Lost. Yes. Yeah. Bermuda Triangle. Forget it. I'm out. Never mind.

3:24:56Yeah, I just talked myself out of it. Yeah, and I'm 100% out. I've been watching The Firm, and that's pretty good. With Josh Lucas. Yeah? Yep. The Harrison Ford movie? No, that's The Fugitive. Ah! That old bit. Let me give you 23 seconds not to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Done. Max Kip, all I'm doing is watching your bad boy brother train for his dangerous underground fight club. He's not in a fight club? Oh, yeah? How do you explain this sweet temporary tat? Ah! I love tats. Pioneer Punch Club? But that's for real toughies. How did you get in? You couldn't? No. It doesn't sound like they're reading or anything, does it? It sounds totally fine. Sounds good. What? Go get some ham. Hey, this is Pedro. That's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. I saw the previews for that. I thought it was a joke.

3:26:00Dang. Yeah. Well, it sounds like it is. My theory is that John Heater couldn't get, he's too typecast. They're like, oh, you're Napoleon Dynamite. And they're like, listen, dude, you got to ride out the Napoleon Dynamite. Well, if they ever do a biopic of John Elway, he's perfect. That's a good point. He does kind of look good. They should have done like Napoleon Dynamite 2, the movie. Let's see. All right. We got to get out of here. Coming up next. The lovely and talented Hillary. Yes. Yeah? Yeah, talk to her. All right. And so enjoy the rest of your day. We'll come back tomorrow morning at 5.30. Do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out. Yeah.