The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/18/11

0:06Good morning. It's Tuesday. All I hope is that today is as gorge as yesterday. Oh, what a beautiful day it was yesterday. I mean, just stunningly beautiful. San Diego looked like a supermodel. I felt like I was in the opening scenes of Baywatch. Oh, yeah. Gorgeous. Yes. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years old. And I have a shaved head and a goatee. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's got on a backwards baseball cap. And I predict he may be hot outside today. Yeah. Waffle shirt. Yep. We'll get you. Yep. 50 degrees this morning driving in. So it's chilly. I think it's going to be another nice one. It's supposed to be for a while. Is it? Yeah. For a while? Yeah. Oh, that's good news. I know. Summer comes in January this year. There you go.

1:42Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is to my right. She's got on a Canadian tuxedo today. No. Otherwise known as a denim jacket. But the tuxedo would be the jeans as well, which I don't have on. You don't have that? No. What are you wearing down there? Whoa. I've got leggings on, Sienna style. There you go. Yeah. Sienna is the girl to my left. She's 25 years of age. And what you call a natural beauty. She doesn't have to wear makeup. She's good looking. Oh, wow. I don't know about that. Oh, wow. That makes my mouth worse. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And doesn't look 47. Looks a lot younger than that. Yep. But the truth is, is that he knew Lincoln. Yep. And then our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. It's Will. It's Will. It's Will. Thank you. Oh, boy. 7 o'clock today. We're going to do Ask the Dudes. So that's a time where we let ladies call and ask us anything. Hey, you know, what perfume turns guys on? I'll tell you right now. Me and Wood smelled a perfume when we went to the counter hamburger place. The waitress was wearing a perfume that smelled so good. And I said, what is that? And she said, it was J-Lo Pink. It smelled like a summer's day.

3:02It was amazing. Oh, it was great. That's sexy. It was great. J-Lo. I want to smell it. It smells really good. You guys, every time she walked by, it was like when somebody's skiing and the wake of the ski goes by. She would walk by and we would just wait for the waft of air to go by. Wouldn't you get annoyed by that after a while? No. Not if something smells good. No way. You could smell this for the rest of your life. I really liked it. It smelled great. Okay. How'd she look, though? She's cute. She's cute. But the perfume was outrageous. The perfume took her up two numbers, I would say. A good solid two numbers. So if she was a six, she would be an eight. Wow. Let's see. So yeah, ask the dudes at seven. And at 7.30 this morning, everybody just calm down. Calm down. Especially you guys. Especially you. 7.30 this morning. Settle down. We will discuss what Lauren said. She goes, I don't know if this will be good, but I'm going to tell you guys this thing that happened. And we were like, stop, stop, stop, stop. And we couldn't. We couldn't stop. Like we were talking about it and we were like, stop, stop, stop. Please save it. Save it. Save it. I just want to say one more thing. No. That's what was happening. She's like, I want to say one more thing. We're like, no. It was great.

4:31And it has to do with her and her BFMC, her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. And she was upset at him about something. Still is. And me and Woods instantly were like, are you kidding me? Wait till we talk about this. I can't wait to hear Santa's opinion. I'm team BFMC, by the way. Duh. Hey, listen. I am so honest. There are some things that I have been very vocal that I don't agree with BFMC. And there are other things like this one where I'm like, are you kidding me? It kind of makes some of the other things that you're so vocal about. Kind of makes some of them okay. You guys are freaks. 570-1949 is our number. You can feel free to call us about anything you want. We do open phones right now, so it's like whatever. You can call. You can say, hey, I want to hear this. I want to hear that. Maybe call. Just call us. Yeah, just call and say hi. I want to hear you. Yeah.

5:45A lot of people had the day off yesterday. Waking up, feeling tired. I know. I made a note to myself that I want to ask M1s a question at 830 to see if they can help my dad. And I even waited until more people were back to work because I really want to help my dad and his health. I'm worried about him and his cancer coming back. I'm really worried about it. And I know M1s can help. Good. And so I'm going to ask M1s to help out by suggesting later on in the show an oncologist. Okay, word of the day, wax. When you hear me say wax between now and 10, caller 9 will get dinner for two at Pample Moose on the 24th. You have to pay for tip and booze when you go. And you'll also get sunglasses, angel or anarchy. So good deal for you. Sienna, talk to me about this. case in Arizona where the shooter... Jared Loeffner. Jared Loeffner. Yeah. And the case possibly moving to San Diego? There is actually a really good chance that it could be moving to San Diego for a few reasons. One being...

6:55They're not biased. Exactly. They're not biased. A jury's not going to be as biased as people would be that live right in that town, that were deeply affected, that saw the tragic scene. So that's one of the reasons. Also, the judge, Larry Burns, he's from San Diego. He lives here, and he's going to be in charge of that case. So that's a reason. Also, Loeffner's defense attorney is based in San Diego as well. Oh, wow. So those are three pretty big reasons that it could be moved to San Diego. And I think more than anything, just the bias situation. And just I can't imagine such a tragic thing happening there and then being held there. It's just a really hard thing to deal with and see every day. Probably a lot of security they'd have to. I mean, they'll have to have security no matter what. Oh, yeah. Amped up security every day if they kept it. Where it happened. Right. So we'll find out, I'm sure, within the next couple of days if it will be moving here, which will be pretty crazy. It'll be a zoo. And just so you know, do you guys – do you know where Jared Loeffner is and everything? I didn't know exactly where he was right now. I knew he was being held. I would think he was in Pima County jail. Well, I've probably spent some time there. So why don't you lay it on us? Right now he's at a medium security federal correctional institution outside of Phoenix. And I guess he's spending 23 hours a day alone in his cell right now.

8:09So there's only an hour that he's let out. They would take him out. Right. Yeah, they would. Yeah, so that's where he is right now. Maybe they should just put him in major population there. They don't like those guys in jail. They don't like those guys in there. They don't? No. I thought that they had problems with rapists and pedophiles. They do. They killed a nine-year-old. Right. Yeah, he killed a child. And also, they don't like the sensationalist guys. You know why? Because they can make a name for themselves by taking him out. Then they're the big jail hero. Right, right, right. Sure save us a lot of time and money. Oh, wow. Vigilante justice. Lead the fifth, but also agree. Yeah. Don't have a problem with it. I'm not down with it. I know. You guys know that. Make an example. Hey, you know what I watched yesterday? What? Something with food. Nope. My Strange Addiction. Yep. Yes. I know you, Mike. Yep, she does. Sienna knows. I watched my strange addiction. I watched the one on the girl that eats cleanser. And in the same episode, it's the girl that tans. Yeah, I saw that one. There's one coming up on Wednesday night. Now, this is just weird people that are seriously addicted to the strangest things like eating toilet paper. This girl that's going to be on Wednesday night episode is addicted to eating couch cushions. She unzips that aligning and eats like the foam out of it. Mikey, what's your episode?

9:34I mean, it sounds like this isn't real, this is real, but it's real. Men who can't stop wearing dresses. Yeah, men who moisturize. Too much. I've actually chewed on that couch cushion stuff before. You have? Me too. Wouldn't surprise me at all. If Lauren was like, did I ever tell you guys that I'm currently addicted to eating, you know... Like shell... Shells. Shells. Like I eat shells. Ow, it hurt my teeth. I was a kid I used to chew on that stuff. I used to chew on it a lot. I was kind of like Woods when I was a kid. Random stuff. Yeah. Coach cushions. I have one issue with the show. What? It's not long enough. It's only 30 minutes long. I want an hour. Yeah. I want a whole hour. I feel like some of it gets re-scripted for the sake of explaining the addiction. That bothers me. And the real people are like... Their relatives and friends and stuff are so bad at acting that it makes me feel like the addiction is fake even though I know it's not. It isn't fake, but I know what LOB means. I do believe that the producers ask the families to have a very non-organic conversation. Exactly. And amp it up. They have the person with the addiction say, look.

10:52I'm addicted to this, to their family. And it's like, they obviously know, you know, and these people aren't actors. So they're not going to be like fooling us. And they're like, act like you're really embarrassed by this. I wish they were out. Yeah. You can't ask that. I don't like it, but it is good. They need to do it more like intervention, just like slow and dramatic. That lady, that lady that eats. The cleanser. There was a woman that she eats like Ajax. Pours it in her hand. Pours it in her hand and then like dips her tongue in it. Or licks her finger and puts her finger into the cleanser to pick it up onto her finger and then eat it. Like it's a fun dip. Something to kill you. Yeah. Seems like it was. She had to take out all her teeth. Oh my God. Oh my God. Had to remove her teeth. Come on. Come on. Wow. I used to like clean with that stuff. That was one of my chores when I was a kid to like. clean with that stuff. And I used to think, I wonder what this tastes like because it smelled so fresh. It smelled good and fresh. But I never took the plunge. You actually... See, that's how this lady started. She thought it smelled good. I thought it smelled good. And she thought it smelled like it would taste good. Stuff never tasted like it smelled like, though. Vanilla extract? Yeah, and like fruity shampoo. Fruity shampoo. I can't watch Intervention anymore. But for whatever reason, I can watch this thing. You know, it's fascinating.

12:09Hi, my name is Mike, and I was addicted to wearing nightgowns. And I just spent three weeks here at the nightgown place, the nightgown rehab, and it's called Nighties. It's in Malibu. And I have not worn a nightgown now for 100 days. Good for you, man. You got your 100-day chip. Yeah, I got my 100-day Nikon trip last night. Why is there a piece of flannel hanging out of the bottom of your pants? It was a relapse, but it was a slight relapse. A slip-up. It was a slip-up. We call it a slip-up. And the reason they call it a slip-up is because it's actually a slip. I'm wearing a slip right now. Pull your slip-up. Yeah, that's why I slipped up. Well, just keep working it, man. That's right. So anyway. It's a good show on TLC Wednesday nights. Yeah. It's creepy. Huntington Beach may be putting DUI mug shots on Facebook. Yeah. Now, this was a councilman in Huntington Beach. Basically, he wants police to start posting these mug shots for everyone who has been arrested more than once for driving while under the influence. Does anybody have a problem with it? No. No.

13:38I don't. What's it going to accomplish? Shame. They're going to think. No, no, no. It didn't irritate you at all. No, not at all. What about first offense? No. It doesn't bother you. No. You're good with that. You screw up. You pay the consequences. I paid consequences for any screw-ups I've ever had. I know, but sometimes you're also like, really? Leave that, you know. You just going to embarrass people? No, I think, you know, they put you in the paper. I mean, your name's in the paper and stuff. I mean, it's, you know, Facebook's kind of the new thing. You know, your old bit is, you know, that doesn't happen to. I mean, I haven't had a drink and got behind the wheel in years. So it doesn't concern me anymore. And I'm like, hey, shouldn't have done it in the first place. So I think if you do it, you know. You reap what you sow for sure. I agree. I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it either. He says if it takes shaming people to save lives, I'm willing to do it. I just don't. I don't know. I mean, I think maybe I hope that it would work. I just don't see the rationale. I used to do that when I was a teenager. I would get behind the wheel after drinking. And I don't think I would be like, I'm not going to do this because I don't want my picture on Facebook. I don't think it's going to help per se, but I don't have a problem with it.

14:53I really don't think it's going to help. I think that the like high school students right now are so into Facebook and it's like their life to them. You know, it may teach them something more than it would teach us because we don't really care if it's Facebook or not. I think it might do that to me, though. I don't I don't think it would to me. I mean, I think if you want to make this is something I've been thinking about for years. When I got in trouble for DUI, I had to go to this thing called the victim impact panel. When all of our kids are 16 years old and they're about to get their license. When my kid, when my son's ready to get his license, I'm taking him against his will to a victim impact panel. Period. You listen to how people's lives have been affected by drunk drivers. And you sit there for two hours and you listen to these stories and you're like, yep, nope, never again. And that, you know, you want to help kids? Do that. Well, I could see too. I could see a couple of friends hanging out in PB. They're having a couple of pops. One guy wants to go and his friend's like, dude. Don't drive home right now. He's like, no, dude, I'm fine. He's like, hey, you're going to be on Facebook tomorrow, dummy. Yeah. Most of them have drug pictures anyway. You know, what if that's a thing? Yeah, but I'm not really aware of it. Like, you know, everybody's aware of Facebook. If that became like the norm, the standard.

16:07I could see a guy saying to some other guy, dude, you're going to be on Facebook tomorrow and everybody's going to be sharing your picture with everybody. Your mugshot. Everybody's going to be passing your mugshot around tomorrow on Facebook because it's going to be on that Facebook site. Yeah, that's true. That would trip me out. It would trip me. It would give me pause. Problem is, is that with guys, we have pride. Egos. We have pride and egos and so we're always like, I'm good. Chicks may be different. Chicks that might, it may be more effective with women. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I don't, I don't foresee it as, as being a giant, you know, a huge deterrent in it. But I mean, whatever helps, you know, whatever helps. Maybe if thousands of people like the site, I'll be like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Cause we're all voyeuristic. Yeah. Right. And like, we're like looking on there to see who's on there. I think you might be able to pull that. Like exactly what you said, Mike, like you're going to have. Thousands of people looking at your Facebook. Yeah. And especially if people start passing it around. Yeah. Sharing it. You know. Laughing. I mean, that's the thing is they'll be laughing about it. Yeah. And nobody. I mean, you would be. Yeah. You know what I mean? Let's see. This is M1 Jesse from Escondido. Go ahead, Jesse. Coworkers like dragged into the office and counseled for what they've put on their own Facebook page. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like.

17:28Our bosses Google us because we, you know, work with kids and we're in the public. And anything that comes up associated to your name, it better be straight. Yeah. And they stay on top of it. So in that aspect, maybe it, you know, maybe. Social media, to a degree, might be holding us more accountable for our behavior as a person as a whole in the future. I don't know that it does right now everywhere. Sure, but it will. Well, it does in every day. I mean, the career I came from as a recruiter, and I think I've said this on the air before, we were opening a new office in a new market, and we were going through all these different candidates to hire as a new manager. We found this guy, got his resume, stud. Everything we wanted. So our first thing we did when we got a great candidate, we went to Facebook. Every single time. We put in their email address, found them. We wanted to see what they look like. Are they sharp? Are they presentable? Is this guy going to walk into that interview with those vice presidents and kill it? Found this guy. Like I said, stud. Looked him up. Under his subject or whatever was likes. Partying with drunk as bees. Oh, boy. And I looked at him and I'm like.

18:41You moron. See you later. Yeah. I mean, at the very least, that shows bad judgment. Yeah. And you don't want that. Yeah. Drunk ass, drunk ass bees. Yeah. I was like, sorry. Who doesn't? You just don't say it. Steve Jobs, man, he is not looking good. No. Now, we know that he has a medical history. 2009, he had to undergo a liver transplant. In 2004, he had surgery for pancreatic cancer. And now yesterday, Apple announced that he's going to be taking medical leave again for the third time, which actually sent the company stock down 8%. Holy cow. By that news just yesterday. And they haven't revealed why or how long he's going to be away. But, oh, man. Makes you think. I hope everything's okay. Check the stock real quick. Oh, yeah. I heard the employees were like... Gosh, it's still high. Yeah. Gosh, darn. Yeah, they were freaking out because he didn't say... Like, he left no indication of coming back. Yeah, he doesn't. He's very open-ended. The thing with Jobs is he doesn't say anything. That's his MO. He doesn't talk about really what's wrong with him, and he doesn't talk about what's happening with the company. That's always the Apple MO. Guy didn't say anything.

19:52Apple stock, $348.48 a share. So if you'd like one share of that, you got to come up with $348. Wow. And then you could be a shareholder in Apple. You have one share of it. Wow. I mean, I remember calling my brother, my brother Steve, who with his money, he's not always the best of the money. And I called him and I said, dude. Apple stock is $77 a share right now. I said, borrow some money and buy some stock in Apple. And he's like, eh. He goes, some dude just told me that here at the station. And I go, about Apple? He goes, yeah. And I go, how come you're not going to do it? And he's like, eh. $348 a share. He could have bought it at $77, $78. Five times. Yeah, you made five times. Dude, wait for ten years. Wow. Holy crap. Best advice I ever got when it came to buying stocks was, what do you use a lot in your daily life? What do you like? What do you use and you really believe in? Pampers diapers. Yeah. Let me see that, Woods. Let me see that. Woods is holding up Copenhagen. And it doesn't say the name of the company.

21:19I don't know. Maybe the company is Copenhagen. Now, I couldn't buy it. U.S. Smokeless. That's the name of the company? U.S. Smokeless Tobacco Company. I couldn't do it because it's cancerous. It would make me feel bad that I was buying stock in something that's cancerous. Yeah, but I use it. Yeah. I wonder how kombucha stock is. I'm a consumer. Oh, I bet that's going to... I guarantee you they're not public. You've got to believe in it, though. I guarantee you it's not public. It's probably, yeah, it's probably a private company. You've got to believe that that's going to be something that maybe it grows. And who knows, LLB? It could be something that, you know... Takes off and people really, you know. It's probably one dude in Vermont. No, it's GTs. For people that don't know, by the way, Kim. Kombucha is a drinkable douche. It's floating. It is a vinegar-based health drink. It's delicious. It's got little particles floating in it. Sure does. Bacteria live. Live. Looks like mushroom. Fabulous. Yeah. It looks like the soup at Benihana. Yeah, it does. And it smells like vinegar. Yeah. It tastes delicious, though. Does it? Leaves me a lot fresher. Mm-hmm.

22:22So anyway, Steve Jobs taking medical leave doesn't say for how long. This is a little bit scary. Everybody heard about the floods that are going on in Australia. Now they have sharks swimming down the street. Wow. That's badass. Not one, but two bull sharks, which are big sharks. Yeah, they are. They're man-eaters. Bull sharks are ferocious. They are. They'll charge. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. They're ferocious. Awesome. One was just spotted. passing the McDonald's just right along the street where most people walk, which is now flooded, so now there's just sharks swimming around everywhere. That's great. Yeah. Holy cow. As if it's not bad enough that there's a flood, now they have to worry about, you know, kayaking past a shark. That's the end of days right there. You see, Martin, a shark does two things, okay? It makes more sharks and it eats. And that's it. It's a perfect... Eating machines. They can survive in fresh water, too. Oh, my gosh. Creepy creatures with very strong, powerful jaws. Can you imagine? Bad enough trying to just wade through dirty water. They say that being bitten by a shark is the same as a VW being dropped. Thousands of pounds of pressure.

24:01It's in the main street. What am I supposed to do? The person that doesn't go to McDonald's. Stay away from McDonald's. McDonald's is already flooded, though. Everything's flooded. What were you doing? I was flying a kite. I was flying a kite. I was attacked by a bull shark. Sitting on my porch. Bull sharks are the third most likely shark to attack a human being. More than likely. And they're known for they swim in really shallow water. You don't have a name, man. That's a bull shark, man. Yeah, that's a bull shark. That's a bull shark. That's so, I mean, what's happening? Australia, Brazil, flooding. Yeah, craziness. I purposefully have not listened to the audio that we're going to hear when we come back because I want to kind of feel it out on the air with M1s. We'll listen to it together. It's the debut of Piers Morgan's takeover job for Larry King. Last night, big Oprah thing. She's on talking crazy stuff. And I kind of want to know. I don't necessarily care, but I do like to know things. I don't like the feeling that I don't know something. And people are like, hey, did you know? And I'm like, I don't know. It's a pretty big interview. She said that, you know. Literally. Oh, what?

25:24She said that he was able to get stuff out of her that no one is able to. Literally. What? Really? She said that? Yes, she was emotional. Yeah, I read that somewhere and that, you know, that he was a great interviewer. All right, well, we'll hear it when we come out. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Woods, I know you're thinking about moving. I am. How would you like to live right where the Escondido bomb house was? I would not. Oh, wow. Yeah, officials have just announced that that site is safe to reoccupy. So, you know, if you want to build a house right on that spot. Probably cheap. It's okay now. You can. Sounds like the bomb. Oh, wow. Location. That area's blowing up, man. I heard it's fire sale prices. Oh, wow.

26:36It's a dynamic situation. Well, yeah, officials have released the results of the air and soil testing, and they said that it's fine to live there. So, yeah, go right ahead. So the area is dynamite. Wow. Oh, boy. Also, a pretty big story. After an eight-year project honoring San Diego's veterans, the Miramar National Cemetery is almost complete. Now, this is like a $27 million project that started in 2002. Once it's finished, Miramar will have 160,000 spaces, which is enough to accommodate the next 50 years of veterans. Oh, wow. So it's a big deal. That is a big deal. What's going on in sports? Well, we're getting that time of year, Mike, that I like to refer to as sports purgatory. Football's kind of wrapping up. I'm not a big basketball guy. Neither are you or a lot of people around here. But a lot of people are hockey, college basketball. I don't know. College basketball is great in March for me. Oh, it's phenomenal in March. But, you know, hey, right now the Lakers are still a really, really good NBA team that a lot of people in San Diego like. So I'm going to give you a little taste. I like it. The Lakers beat the Thunder last night. 101-94. It was a battle of two of the best players in the league. Never heard of the Thunder. Kevin Durant. They're from Oklahoma City, LLB. I was just going to say, couldn't tell you where they're from. No kidding. Couldn't tell you where they're from. We should have a quiz, like an NBA quiz or something. Kobe threw up 21. Here he is talking about.

27:54His bunch after the game. Cut one. You know, Ryan just stuck to him a little bit more. I think we did a lot. I mean, it's the same thing with me and Westbrook. You guys got screens coming off. You got to have guys stepping up and giving you help. You definitely do. For a second. It'll allow you to get back on them. For sure. I felt like we did a better job the second half. No question you did. And you came away with the win. 101-94. And the New York Mets, word around the campfire, are about to sign ex-Padre Chris Young. Oh, wow. The oft-injured. Chris Young, 13-12 with a 4-13 ERA in 36 starts in the last three years. Padres said, well, we've got an $8.5 million option on you. I think we're going to pass. So the Mets look to pick him up, and I'm sure he'll do well now that he's gone. Word of the day is wax, and when I say it, caller number nine, Pamplemousse dinner. Here's the thing. We're going to talk about this deal with Lauren O'Brien, LOB, and her BFMC, her boyfriend, Matt Carmers. We're going to do that at 730, and it's an hour from now. I cannot wait. Buckle up. Will he be available? I don't know. I gave him the hotline number, and he was like, Wes, you can make a fool of me. I was like, no. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get killed. 100. Yes. By the way, Woodsy, I'll mention it later, give you the details, but Cain Velasquez, the UFC, injured.

29:12and going to have surgery, and he's going to be out for eight months. He's the champ, no? Yep, he is. So we'll talk about that later on. Okay, so Piers Morgan took over for Larry King, and his first guest was Oprah Winfrey. I suppose the contradiction is that, oddly, you're in a position with this network where you're possibly least in control. I mean, when I ran a newspaper, for example, when I got to be editor and running the shit... By the way... Just hearing his voice, instantly I'm like BBC. Yeah. Out. I'm not engaged. Exactly. I agree. Actually, half the time I had no idea what was going on because it's too big. Did you say running the show? I picture that voice going, here in Kabul, during the summertime, many of the Taliban would gather together. This particular sect is called Sikh. They will pray hour upon hour. You're just like... RPS modern BBC News. Yes, BBC News. Prince Charles returned today to the palace from his vacation in Wales. That's right. Buckingham Palace prepared for his return with high tea. In other news, the euro fell 4.76 in what appears to be a European increase. You're just like, stop it. Who would have thought that Larry King would have done so well, though? You never know. Loved Larry.

30:38I did. I really did. You gave us some good material. God bless you, Larry. Okay. Well, let's get to some of the good stuff, okay? Because... Ooh, ooh, ooh. There is some good stuff here. She starts to talk about and breaks down at different points. And this is probably the most talked about piece. When you were 14, you... What? Why is that funny? Why do you think it's funny? The most talked about piece. I was just thinking that in Woods' head he was going to be like, besides mom. That just slayed me. You lost a baby. Oprah, this is the most talked about piece. Oprah lost a baby? I didn't know that. Yeah, when she was young. Yeah, she got pregnant and it was very sad. This is really serious, you guys. So brace yourselves. Somebody slept with Oprah? Woods. Stop it. You're being heartless. I'm not heartless. I'm being... Talked about losing a baby and stuff. That's sad. Oh, it's the worst thing you could ever imagine. Give Oprah a break. Nothing worse, though. All right. Help me! I'm so afraid. Did you ever wonder what would have happened if you'd had that child? No. I knew that me getting pregnant was a result of bad choices and not having boundaries and the abuse.

32:04sexual abuse from the time I was 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and becoming a promiscuous teenager and running the streets and going to be put in the detention home and all of that. So I knew that when I lost. How do you find this out? She put this in a book or something? Oh, no, this is a well-known thing. Oprah had a beating of a life. Yeah. She had a very rough life. Lost that baby. For whom I had no connection to whatsoever, I would have to say. I was 14 years old and felt nothing but just, okay, relief. Because I thought before the baby was born, I'm going to have to kill myself. I'm going to have to. Did you really? Oh, for sure. For sure. My mother said, you can't stay here. So I had to move to live with my father in Nashville. Did you ever tell your father that you'd been pregnant? No. Any conversation with your father? No. Wow. I hid it. I hid the whole thing the whole time. You know, I was able to do it because I was coming from a different state. I hadn't been there since I was nine years old. And my father, as a part of his decree about what's going to go on in this house and won't go on in this house, said to me as I'm standing in the kitchen,

33:17Listening to him tell me these are the rules of the house. You're going to obey the rules. You have a 10 o'clock curfew. And I would rather see a daughter of mine floating down the Cumberland River, he said, than to bring shame on this family and the indecency of an illegitimate child. Wow. If it had still been my show, why don't you ask her if she still sleeps with Stedman? Do you still sleep with Stedman? I'm even kind of lesbian. That doesn't answer the question. I'm not even kinda lesbian. I heard you the first time, but my question is, do you and Stedman still make whoopee? I'm not lesbian. All right, I guess asked and answered. That means the two of you still make love? Is that what you're telling me? I'm even kinda lesbian. How passionate is it? The Oprah Winfrey will be back.

34:22Jay's fired. It was a good interview. I mean, she talked about a lot of stuff. She ever talked about herself? That's why she's being interviewed. According to Forbes magazine, you are worth $2.7 billion. Oh, my gosh. Chump change. There's hope for everybody out there. That's like an entire continent. Yeah. I knew you were going to go there sooner or later. Are you worth it? I'm not sitting around counting it. I bet you know. You don't have to. That's a humble way to say yes. Yes. Plus, I couldn't count at $2.7 billion. Yeah. It would take a long time. Yeah. So today, I wouldn't be done in 14 years. Gosh. That's your work. Yes, I do. You see? So how do you know without counting it? Because I already had counted it. Wow. That's insane.

35:22She said what she was going to do with her money when she were to die. Buy Piers Morgan? No. She said that it would all go to charity. Various ones? Yeah, I'm sure. She didn't have any kids. She said when I'm gone, everything that I have is going to go to charity because I don't have children. Well, she's not married to Steadman. Right. She said that she doesn't believe in me. I'm just not the marrying kind is also what she said in the interview. Man, if I was one of her favorite charities, I would knock her off. That's right. Whoa, Jay. Jay would do that. It's a murderous rage today. Jay's in a little bit of a strange movie. I would have killed that guy in jail. I'll tell you that right now. You know what? We were talking earlier about the show My Strange Addiction and Oprah actually admitted to him also that she would drink detergent. That's weird. Yeah. And she said that she wasn't trying to commit suicide, but it was definitely a cry for help. She ran out of syrup. She was just hungry. No, I bet you she felt dirty inside. She ran out of syrup and she was eating her morning waffles. That's exactly it because she had a sexual past that was not good. I bet Steadman doesn't know about it. He does know. There's probably a lot of stuff that she told in that interview that even Steadman didn't know. I bet he knows. Steadman.

36:38I bet he didn't. Do you have enough money to buy the city of London? Yes, I do. Have you ever considered reverse slavery and owning a white man? I own several. Several white men. You own a white man? Yes, several. Are you good to him? I'm okay. I'm kind of a B. Now, explain that. Give me an example. I'm the most powerful woman in the world. What would happen if he were to bring you, for instance, bring you tea? I shock him. You would shock him. He's going to shock a dog collar. Oh, boy. Now, how do you control it? Have you got a handheld? I've got a handheld. It's actually on my keychain. It's on your keychain. A fob. It looks like this furry rabbit's foot. But it's not. It's a fob for the electric shock collar. Yeah, and I did a special about it, too. You made a special. It's a four-hour special. I've never heard of it. It's also on the cover of my magazine. I made an audio book. The magazine's called O. And then it's on my network. You get a shock collar and you get a shock collar. Is it true that when he yells out...

37:44When you shock him, he yells out, oh, the name of the mighty. He's supposed to. Is that, in fact, audio of your white man? That's the one that got away. Let's listen to it again. How did he get away? Well, what they failed to put on that cut at the end, he said, help me, Oprah Winifrey is trying to kill me. And did he run? They cut that. Did he run? He ran fast. Nude. Nude and he got away. He did. Is it true that he now works at an International House of Pancakes? Yes. An IHOP? An IHOP. Have you ever eaten at IHOP? You know that. Oh, boy. What's your favorite meal there? All of it. Side one. Side one? You're talking about the first page. Page one. Page one. Side one of the menu.

38:41I heard you were a big moons over at Miami. That's a different restaurant. Oh, my bad. That's what Stedman calls me. Stedman. Yeah, let me ask you about Stedman. When you're making love. Yes. Oh, it smells like carrots and throw up. That man makes me uncomfortable. That man in the other room with the sound effects. Jay, our producer? All of us. Oh, my gosh. Go ahead. Ask me more questions about me. Well, now I'm deflated inside. Tell me about Stedman. He's a, he's the, it's called a reverse beard. He's a man that is there to make it look like you're straight. Correct. When in actuality. I've never made love to him. Are you in love with Gail, your best friend? Yes. Oh. Gail. Is that why you count? Gail and Bennigan's. You'd love those two? Yes. Which order? More than, uh, Bennigan's first. Bennigan's first, then? The Monte Cristo, I just can't get enough of it. Oh, so, all right. If you had to choose between the Monte Cristo. Monte Cristo.

39:40I haven't finished the question. I know the answer. Let me finish the question. Monte Cristo. Powder trigger on it. Powder trigger. Oh, I can't stand by. Watch this. So you're telling me. Monte Cristo. Okay, fine. What if said Monte Cristo? Fine. I thought there was one way I could save said man's life. How's that? Or Gail's life. Right. If Gail were in a rowboat and the Monte Cristo were in another. And you were in charge of a cannon. Oh, my gosh. And you had to sink one. So one would die. The Monte Cristo would die from Bennigan's or your best friend, Gail. I'm going to save the Monte Cristo. So you will shoot a cannon. Yes. I have a cannon, and I would shoot it at Gail. And you would shoot it into her rowboat, sinking it, effectively killing your best friend, Gail, just to save.

40:42A Monte Cristo. A Monte Cristo. Yes. It's that delicious to you? It's delicious. My goodness. What is the appeal? What is so wonderful? It's a fried sandwich. It's a fried sandwich, powdered sugar, raspberry jelly, cheese. You have $2.7 billion. You have $2.7 billion. I keep it real. All right. That's what I do. I keep it real. Listen. Who am I to get in the way of your Monte Cristo? Oh, my gosh. You guys. Wow. Terrible. This is it. Will you ever just let Steadman go? Why keep Steadman? Well, he does a lot for me. Wiener time. Oil. Again. What was that? Wiener time. And there you go. Now that was fun, wasn't it?

41:42I knew that would be useful. So, don't everybody get scared. I'm going to tell you something, but don't everybody get scared. Oh, boy. What? Rebecca and I talked last night, and we've decided that we're not going on vacation. We're still taking the time. What? We're still taking the time. What? Yeah, but we're not going anywhere. How bummed are you? You guys always go to Hawaii. Yeah. In April. Yeah. You're not going to go? No. I'm sad. What's your reason? I need to know why. I need to know. Because we're trying to be responsible and we want to be debt free. We've wanted it for a while. We went and took a class on how to become debt free. And we're close. We're close and we can attain it. The only debt that we'll have is our house payment. But we have to be diligent. And we're not always diligent. And so, well, we're going to try to be. Well, when you go to Hawaii, we know that you don't ever go to the beach, right, Mike? You go to the spa. Yeah, we go to the spa. You can do that in San Diego for a day. Or a few days. How about a staycation? Minus not the thousands of dollars of plane tickets. Or a hotel room. So go to Hawaii, find reasonably priced tickets, and just don't do as many activities. We don't do any activities. Don't make cologne.

43:11Yeah. When you go. We don't do activities. Don't go to the spa. Don't go to the spa. Don't go out to eat as much. Pick like one or two nights. What are you supposed to do? Sounds lame. If you're going to do it, do it. No. Do we pick papaya? From the side of the road? Like squirrels? You can just chill at the pool. But you got to eat. You got to eat. Well, yeah. All meals are out. On a shoestring budget. I'll teach you a couple tricks. Oh no. It's called panhandling. Mikey's worst fear. Mikey on a vacation where he had to pinch pennies would be the worst thing ever. You know what is the saddest part of it to me? Because this is the best part of that vacation for me. I wake up hours before Rebecca. Weird. And because it's three hours behind, it's still dark outside. And I will... Wake up really early, and I'll go to a part of the hotel room where I can turn a light on. I'll sit there. I'll read my Bible for like a half an hour. I have no work to do. Nothing. The sun comes up. I go out onto the balcony. Rebecca comes out there. A lot of times she doesn't even say a word to me. She just comes out, sits right next to me. Oh, man. We don't say a word. You smell the ocean.

44:31As gross as it sounds to you guys, it's what they do on the island, and I do it. I love it. I get breakfast, which for me is steamed white rice, some scrambled eggs, some bacon, some coffee. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm sorry. I'm upset. You need to go. I can't. We can't. You need to recharge. We will take the time. It doesn't matter. You need to shut the mother down. We are. You shut the engine down and get back to neutral. Then you need to go somewhere local. You need to be out of your house, go somewhere local. Yeah, she said she's going to get, you know, childcare, all that business. Yeah, stay at a nice hotel here. Like, you guys could go up to, like, Laguna Beach or something. Go to National City. No, what? Go up to Escondido. See what's up. It just stinks, man. It stinks. But, you know, in the long run, it's good for us. Well, you guys, you can't bright side it for Mikey because. There is nothing you can say here in San Diego that he can do that would even sniff the vacation that they have. Nothing is going to even be close. For whatever reason, when I'm in Hawaii, it's the only time I'm at peace. I know. It's amazing. God makes it so that when I'm there, everything goes away. You came back a new, refreshed person this year. For sure. Just toss it around. Don't make any final decisions.

45:51Rebecca's going to tell me. Rebecca's going to tell me. Like, really, you guys? I had him convinced. No, listen. Make that right. No, no, no. I got you, dude. I'll tell you. You just handed him, like, four $1 bills. Yeah. Woods, you can't do that. That's too much, bro. Get a taste. Just get a taste on me. I can't accept that. Get a taste. There's the rice. It's on him. You can't even buy anything. He can buy a bottle of water. I'm humbled, but I can't, dude. I can't. Get a scrambled egg with that money. Take it. Bro. Please take it. If you need this, man. I could never repay that. Well. Consider it a gift. You do a lot for me. I figured I'd get you back. Bro, I love you. But if I told my wife that I accepted $4 from you, she would be like, what are we going to owe him now? What does he expect? Do you have to report that for your taxes? No, it's a one-time gift. The IRS allows a one-time gift to friends, and that's fine. Just take that. That's on us. That's on us. I want you to have a good time. Amazing. Don't cry. I don't know what to say. Don't get choked up. He just took it back. Until I got to my name. Well, just toss it around the old campfire. It was more my thing than hers. Was it really? Yeah. That surprises me. She said, well, I said, you know, when does he admit to a point where, you know, your boy didn't have to be on an allowance to buy a book? And she goes, well, you know, I wish that one time you would sit there and you would do the books with me. And I said, no, I go, you're right.

47:23You're right. I said, what do we got to do? She goes, well, you know, we wouldn't be able to do things like vacation and we got to pay down stuff and we got to, you know, do that stuff that we learned. I said, done. Good for you. Good for you, but it sucks. Oh, yeah. Because I smell that rice and there's nothing like that for me. You don't take your debt free pockets to the grave. I believe that, too. Take your vacation memories. I believe that, too. That's what's tough for me. I believe that. LLB just got me. You don't want to go any deeper. LLB just made my eye duct start working. It's because, you know, if you guys can sit and look at your situation and go, all right, we're okay. I mean, everything's taken care of. Like, if you've got stuff put away for the boys and everything, man, you know. I will never be able to go on vacation because we are just kind of – we have always been like that. And that's just who we are. And we don't argue about money in my house ever. And it's just if we need something, we just try to get it. But this is vacation for us still, living here.

48:30Being from Dallas, we're still on vacation here, and that's cool for us. We can go to the beach, and we feel like we're on vacation. You've been here forever. I miss San Diego every time I go somewhere else. Oh, yeah. Like, I want to be back. It's the best place to come. You're like, oh, I'm so bummed. Vacation's over, and then you fly in. You're like, no, it's not. You're like, am I? It's great. All right, let's do this. What we're going to do is we're going to play buzzword, okay? So you call right now. Pick a horse, me, Sienna Woods, or L.O.B., and then Jay is going to give us a buzzword. Then he's going to give us clues, and our answer has to include the buzzword. And we yell it out. It's part of the fun. We yell it out. For example, let's say the buzzword was egg. Jay might say, this is what happens when you're embarrassed. And we would yell out, egg on your face. That's how it works. 570-1949. You're going to pick me, Sienna Woods, or LOB. Call us now. Ladies and gentlemen, Randy the Ram Robinson. Watched that on Sunday night. You did? Yeah. Have you ever seen it? Oh, yeah. A bunch of times. Yeah. I'm watching it today. It's so good. I'm watching it today. The part with the meat carver. Oh, yeah. I want to die. Oh, yeah. Here's your cheese, lady. Todd was watching it, and I knew it was coming, and I buried my face in the couch pillows, covered my ears. I was like, la, la, la, la, la, la. It makes me want to die. You want some cheese, lady?

50:34Hey, stop. You guys are ruining it. Oh, my gosh. You just said that and it gave me the skeebies. It gave me the skeebies. It's so good. All right. Let's get this sucker going. I'm going to play some buzzword here in a minute. On your feet, people. That's right. You guys like to stand when you play games. I don't know why. Especially this one. I'm sitting. Gives you energy. No way. I don't win when I stand. We'll be playing Ask the Dudes here in a minute, too. She's more of a fan favorite with the dudes than it is our guy listeners than it is with the chicks. Okay. M1, Neil from OB. Who do you want? Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Neil. Who do you want? Can I get Woodsy? You got it. M1, Hardbody from Encinitas. Who do you want? Please. Hang on. Yeah, he does. Oh, wow. M1, Mix from IB. Who do you want? Miguel. Lauren, would you please isolate that later if you remember? M1 Tina from San Diego. Who would you like to select? Mike Whitehead. You said. She wants me. She wants you, Sienna. And she's got you. Not only does she want me, but she loves me. She loves you. She wants you. She's got you. Good. Thank you. Hang on a line. I love her. That's hot. All right. So again, buzzword. The way that we play buzzword is Jay is going to give us the buzzword. And then he's going to give us clues. And our answer.

52:05has to include the buzzword. The example that I gave was, let's say the buzzword were egg. He'd say something like, to be embarrassed, and we'd have to scream out, egg on your face. That's how it works. And we don't say our name. We just scream. We just scream the answer. Can we not do fake bits? Scream the answer if you know the answer. I did it once. Today's prize is dinner for two at the Shores in La Jolla. Very familiar with that place. It is fantastic. Remember, you've got to scream it. Okay. Here we go. What's the buzzword? What's the buzzword? What's the buzzword? What is the buzzword, Jay? Why are you yelling at me? Okay, guys. Okay, the buzzword is beauty. Oh, gosh. Beauty. Here we go. Get a hairdo here. Beauty parlor. What? Dang it. Get a hairdo here. Beauty parlor. Dang it. What? Oh, Lord. What? I thought it all had to be like catchphrases. I got to get that out of my head. Here we go. Marilyn Rowe had one. New York! Sienna! Yes! Sienna! Dang it! Wow, Sienna. Sienna! I did? Yes. Dang it! I got you, though. Here we go. Ugly goes to the bone. Beauty and the Beast! Both of you get it. Dang it. Dang it! Ugly goes to the bone. Beauty and the Beast! Thank you. Mike, do I take one away from us? Dang it!

53:36Beauty and the Beast? Yeah, why did you guys both scream? Because we had it in our head. Oh, man. You said ugly. It was like Beast. Oh, you guys have, like, reserved. Woods is doing squats. Here we go. I'm pacing. Oh, gosh. Belle falls in love with the Beast. Beauty and the Beast. Mikey. No. Yes. Don't argue with me. Who's Belle? Who's Belle? Belle. Belle. Belle. Someone told me I look like her the other day. I was like, really? Belle falls in love with the Beast. Come on, let's do this. Okay. It's a joy forever. Thing of beauty. I love it when you're all by yourself screaming. The score is Lauren one, Woods two, Mike and I at zero. Play along in your car. Okay, here we go. Anna Sewell's biography of a horse. Black Beauty! Dang it! Miss America competition. Lauren.

54:42So tense. The observer decides what's beautiful. Be the holder. Oh, my God. Dang it. Wow. What's it learned are tied with three? Here we go. The prince kissed and awakened her. Son of a. Dang it. Dang it all the heck. All right. I'm sweating. New buzzword. Pageant winner. Beauty. Beauty pageant winner. Nope, nope. Out, out. L.O.B. Nice. Dang it. Beauty pageant winner. So you want a couple more? Beauty pageant winner. What's the score? I'm the stupidest person ever. Yes, you both lose one. Yeah, you both. Beauty pageant winner. The score is Sienna and Mike negative one. Sienna and Mike are moving into the dum-dum house.

55:40Speak for yourself. And Lauren and Woods are? Lauren has five, Woods has three. Gosh! I already live in the dumb-dumb house. That was the whole card, so. New card! Great, who won? Lauren! Thank you! Gosh, my brain doesn't work that quickly. Why did I have to party so hard in high school? I know it. Why did I have to drink so much vodka? Just catch it up with me. Great. Our high school band in the studio doing the celebratory music for us. Love that game. Yeah, it's a great game. I'm exhausted. My hands are sweaty. M1 Hardbody from Encinitas. Are you there? L-O-B-1 for you, pal. Hardbody? Yeah. Holler. Congratulations to you. Hang on the line. Why is it so much more tense than name that tune? I don't know, but... Because you've got to scream. You've got to scream and you really have to think hard. Your brain is racing and you're like, beauty, beauty, beauty, beauty. And you're liable to scream out something.

56:52The only thing I can think of was Beauty and the Beast. The whole thing. I'm like, dang it. Sienna always fixates on one, and she wants to make sure to get that out. That's what gets me. I'm just trying to get the question out. Eventually, that game will give me a heart attack. Yes. I agree. I won't laugh. All right, it's time for Ask the Dudes. If you're a girl, you call us right now, 570-1949. You'll ask me, Jay, and Woods. We'll give you our opinion, but be prepared, because we give you the real answer. Straight dope. Yeah, so you can call us and you can say, you know, do guys really like it when girls have big boobs? Yes. We're going to tell you the truth. Yes. Yes. Do guys, you know, what is the greatest perfume? What do guys prefer? You know, do guys want girls to do this? Do guys not want girls to do this? Do guys, do guys, do guys. It's that. 570-1949. It's called Ask the Dudes and Girls Call. Okay? Do you girls have any before we start? I have one. Go ahead, Sienna. Why is it fair that girls watch the guys' shows that they want to watch, but the guys won't watch ours? How is that fair? I would like an explanation. I have an answer for that. Okay. The answer is it isn't fair. Okay. And that's the way that it is. But it's not fair. Well said.

58:16I'll be watching TV and Todd comes home and just changes the channel. It's the same principle of how come guys, if they have sleep with a bunch of girls, they're studs, and if a girl does it, she's a hooah. Double standard. Double standard. It's not fair. A girl goes after a young guy, she's a cougar. A guy goes after a young girl, he's a creep. Yeah. So it goes both ways. It's just the way it is. I thought it was like stud. Oh, yeah. He's a stud. If he goes after a young girl, like a teenager. Oh, yeah. That's great. But if we like Jacob. What I don't. What's up, baby? I don't do that. I don't even know that he did that. Who even does it? Just a guy being a guy. What kind of jeans do you like? Shut up. Stop. It's your favorite. Shut up. Do you like frozen yogurt? Frosted yogurt. Shut up. I heard they're wearing these sprinkles in La Jolla. Shut up. You better eject. Uh-oh. Do you have the movies? Eject. We've tried that coming out. Eject. You've seen a grown man naked. M1 Karen from RB, what is your question for the dudes? Good morning. Good morning. Here's my issue. I am about, I'm 36 years old. I'm about 5'6", 120 pounds, but I am a super double, no, triple D.

59:42And I am dying to have a breast reduction, but my husband is dead set against it. Why is he dead set against it? Because he says that when we met and we got married, he loved me for the way I was. And that was one of the things that, of course, attracted him to me. It was one of the things? Is that what he said? It was one of the things? Of course it was one of the things. It was two of the things. Well, yes, of course it was one of the things. Right. Yeah, I mean, obviously we have a great relationship aside from that. But, you know, it's just he just doesn't seem to understand how uncomfortable the situation is for me. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Is it really uncomfortable? Well, since I just had Sage. And I'm breastfeeding. It's very like my posture has gotten significantly worse. Yeah. Because of it. And I mean, it really messes with you. Right. And I've said to Todd, you know, I want to maybe get a reduction. Once I know for sure I'm not going to have any more kids because it messes with breastfeeding if you have a reduction. And he's like, well, that's not who I married. It's 100. That's what he said. 100. But we get.

1:00:56Our boobs sag. Our hair gets gray. There's a lot of things that aren't what you married, but people change physically. You change, but you change because that's just nature. She's talking about altering it. What if what she does will prevent it from being worse than what nature does? You have to understand the pain aspect. My back hurts constantly. My shoulders hurt. Under the breast hair, they're just too big. Maybe send us a picture so we get it. Oh, boy. I just want to get an idea what too big is. Karen, what would you like to go to? I've always wanted to just be a plain old C. With my height and my weight, I think that that would just be normal. What's wrong with a plain old D? It's a question. It's a question that it's been asked on right now. I just asked it. What would be wrong with a D? Even if you're a D, it's hard to find things that fit. I mean, D is a big size. And, I mean, try it like a bathing suit. You're telling me I'm a D. They're hanging out, you know. And this is going to go under the knife. Why not make a big difference instead of just a little difference? You don't want to make a big difference. You want it to be more comfortable. Well, she's a triple. She's a triple D.

1:02:22Yeah, but a C is still big. And I think the C would give me the most relief. You what? Say again? I think a C would give me the most relief. Yeah. Nothing wrong with a C. Sienna, what would you do? I would do the same with her. You would go to a C? It's ridiculous. Why is that ridiculous? It's ridiculous. Todd says, what? Your boobs are like, that's your thing. That's your bit, man. I have more things. You do have more things, but it's your bit. He's like, what would they joke with you about in the air? I'm like, they find other things. You know what's so weird? Girls have straight hair. They want curly hair. Girls have naturally curly hair. They want to straighten their hair. Girls have big boobs. They want small boobs. Girls have small boobs. They want big boobs. I don't want small boobs. I just want manageable boobs. Dee's not manageable? No, it's not. It's really difficult. Karen, would Dee be unmanageable? Well, I can't say, I suppose, since I've never even been that, but I just... I just think that if I'm going to go to the extent of what it takes to have it done, I want to do it to where I'm just very, very comfortable. And like I said, I have this relief. And understand, Karen, M1 Karen Online, is a small girl, but she's got big boobs. It's a wonder I don't fall over. We call you, where I come from, the little miracle.

1:03:42Okay. And you don't mess with a miracle, Karen. You just don't. Are you from Creepy Town? Yes. Yeah, you don't mess with a little miracle. But it's messing with her. It's hurting her. Yeah, fine. Okay, it hurts her. If it's hurting her, you go, okay. Well, so, okay, she's asking the dude, what if your wife came home and said the same thing? If it was hurting her, I'd say, yeah, but can we compromise and you go to a D? I would. And if she said no, I really want to go, I'd be like, okay. You know, it's her choice, but I would at least vocalize that I would prefer. Shallow. Shallow. It's not really, I mean, I do understand where a guy is coming from saying no, you know, because they like him. Yeah, well, I don't know if you like him, but then they're called knee shooters when they're that big. You get triple D, they're going to be at her knees before you know it. The only thing about reduction surgery is that. Before you know it, meaning like 90? No, I mean, they'll. After she gives birth to some babies and in and out of milk and all that kind of stuff. Okay. All right. Well, that was good enough for me, I guess. It happens to anyone that has a baby. It doesn't matter your boob size. My breasts are sagging a lot more than they were. Me, too. And I have never given birth. I've never given birth. The only thing about reduction surgery is, though, is it leaves a nasty scar right up the center. You're telling me. Does it have to? It doesn't anymore. It doesn't anymore? I don't think so, no. The ones I saw were like an upside-down T.

1:05:07I think that's for a boob job. Hey, this is M1 Jake's teacher is on the line from Escondido. Hi, Jake's teacher. How you doing? Good. I would do the same thing, but I would want to wait until after I had kids. You would wait until after the kids? Yeah, because you can't breastfeed after you have them, or it's more difficult to breastfeed after. But, yeah, I have all sorts of that problems. I actually have it documented for that after I do have kids. that my insurance will cover it. Wow. What size do you have to be for breast reduction? Like, will they go, well, we're not giving you one because you're not big enough to have a breast reduction. No? If you want it, they'll give it to you. We could get one if we want it. We could. Yeah. So you're telling me you could be a D cup and people do that? Yeah. Well, I'm an H. You're an H. Did you ever think you'd be talking to your son's teacher about her boobs? No. On the air?

1:06:03I now know that my son's teacher has H-Cups. And every time she walks in the door, you'll be like, H-Cups. I'll be like, H-Cups, H-Cups, H-Cups, H-Cups, H-Cups. What does that look like? Where do you go? Is it H-Cup bra? Do they make H-Cup bras? I don't know anything about H-Cups. Do they make H-Cup bras? Car covers. Oh, my gosh. From VW. From VW. It's not funny. Yeah, it ain't funny, Jay. Little clowns. things to make it look reduced. Oh, really? Yeah, you smash them up. Oh, yeah. Duct tape. Ruka t-shirts, like the one I'm wearing. Cover up your boobs, like me. All right. Oh, wow. It's an issue. It's a medical issue. Well, thank you for the call, Jake's teacher. We appreciate you. Sienna's right, though. And her husband, I can see where he's coming from. Guys like big boobs. You know, we like boobs. And now I have a thing, though. I like natural boobs because if not, they don't, you know, there's a difference, you know? Yeah. And so if a girl has big, gigantic boobs and it hurt. Jay, why do you have to make those boobs? It was just me. It was me too. I know, dude. But when Woods does it.

1:07:35For some reason, it doesn't make me want to bathe in bleach. Because it's not like hearing your grandfather talk about boobs. It's like when your grandpa's like... But, sorry about that. That was Jay's pacemaker. Yeah. Just turned it on. Just got real excited. He got excited. His earring aid is on now, so maybe he'll stop with the random... Well, listen. I wish you the best, Karen. And my opinion is that I would tell your husband, you know, my opinion is that your husband should allow you to do whatever because it hurts you. But your husband should also be able to have input to where he's able to say, listen, can't he make a suggestion? Is that wrong? Well, it would be very wrong for her to just go and do it and be like, hey, by the way, guess what I just did today.

1:08:28Well, she can say this is what I'm doing. If someone's going to have like hip replacement surgery or decide to get like a nose job or something like that, do they need to get permission? Not permission, but can't you talk about it? Hip replacement surgery and a nose job seem very different to me. Oh, they are very different. Yeah, one's elective. Yeah. Yes. Well, the breast reduction is definitely elective. Well, what if someone's going to get braces and the spouse is like, no, I like your crooked teeth. Yeah, what if Jewel said to her rodeo boyfriend, I'm going to fix this. Yeah, Ty Murray. And he's like, I like it. It doesn't matter. It's her face. I agree. I agree. But I think that you discuss it. He gives an opinion. At least there's a discussion. Yeah. He should say, babe, I like you. Ultimately, her choice. But I'd say, how about D? She goes, I want C. And borderline B. I say, okay, I want D, borderline double. But whatever you want. I do kind of think that it's your spouse's choice, too. No, because it's medical. If it hurts, it's medical. If it hurts, yeah. Yeah, but Todd runs it every time he gets a haircut. I think if it's medical, it's more than just an elective, you know, an elective surgery. I don't know. Thank you for the call. We appreciate it, Karen. Oh, thank you, guys. L.O.B. Gallop's in her family, too.

1:09:44Yeah. L.O.B. If you were a triple D, would you just tell your boyfriend, here's what I'm doing? Yeah. And you would not consider his feelings in it? I would say, like, will you find me less attractive? Because I would probably want to know how shallow he was. Can we have a fake conversation? Yeah. Okay. What are you doing, babe? I'm getting a reduction. To what? My boobs? No, no, no. I mean, but to what size? Probably like a full C. But I like you the way you are. I know, but it hurts. It hurts a lot. I can't even sleep. I feel like I'm like hunching. Plus, by the time I'm like 40 or 50, things are just going to be... Yeah, that makes sense. Gravity's going to take hold. You better do it then. Yeah. What about a D? I don't think a D is going to make a difference, though. All right, let's try a D then. But then I'm going to have to go under the knife again? No, let's just start with a D. Well, what if a D is too big and it doesn't do enough? Yeah, you get back. But that's surgery. Surgery is dangerous. Oh, yeah, that's true. Why would you go back? C. If you want to divorce me, then I'll see you in court. How about we flip a coin? C or D? No. Dang it. I've made the decision. Oh, wow. That's rough, huh?

1:11:05That's rough what men and women have to go through. I understand both sides. Well, okay, what if a guy had a deviated septum and it was going to change the appearance of his nose, but he's like, I can't breathe. What if the girl's like, I like your nose? Well, okay, what if she said, can you fix it? And you fix it so it doesn't completely change. But I'm still going to, I mean, it's not going to completely change. It's not going to have this hump anymore, but I like the hump. But I can't breathe with the hump. But it's so cute. What if you still have kind of a hump? See, that's what we're talking about here. Well, then I'm still going to have the sinus problem and I'm still going to snore. It's kind of one or the other. Nah. If she goes to a D, she ain't going to have that problem. It's going to be a big relief on her to go from a triple D to a D. I don't imagine. But, again, it's her body. You know, she does whatever she wants. C's are nice, too. Nothing wrong with a C. Nothing wrong with a C. Nothing wrong with any C's.

1:12:04M1 Barbara wants to clear some stuff up. She's from San Diego. Go ahead, Barbara. Four? Three years ago. Three years ago. Three years ago, yeah. I was going through the same thing. I was a triple D, ranging 2 and C. And it was, first of all, just a pain to find anything that fit. Yeah. And then also the vaccine came with it, and my broadcast would actually burn into my shoulder. Oh, wow. Ow. And so my insurance paid for it because it was a medical situation. A pound. Wow. Does it still seem like you have big boobs? Yeah, she's a D. I know, but maybe, you know, I don't know. Sounds like a little miracle herself. I don't think collectively I add up to a pound. My boobs. Oh, boy.

1:13:13I do. Four pounds. Four pounds. Can I ask? I mean, it was Jay, right? Does it leave scars? What is that? What is that? Like an upside down T. Where the nipple is. What's underneath? You can't really tell. It goes straight up. Up the middle. Yeah. Would you like... Okay, wait. Do you think it's really noticeable? No. Not if you're wearing a bra. For me, the minimal scars were absolutely... I heard that people were saying you can't breastfeed, that it will affect breastfeed. Oh, good. There you go. All right. Hey, thank you for the call. Good cleared up misconceptions. Thanks, Farber. I think I'll get one. Gitto. Brett Favre has been caught filing papers. We'll explain. And also, we are going to discuss LOB. If you missed it earlier. We're going to discuss. No yelling at me.

1:14:33Everybody just calm down. It's going to get real rowdy in here. Everybody quit freaking out. We're going to discuss this like ladies and gentlemen. Are we? Are we? Eskimo Blue Waters will be in here at 8 o'clock. Word of the day is wax when you hear that. Caller number nine gets dinner for two at Pamplemousse for restaurant week, January 24th. It's my favorite restaurant in the world. Delicious. And you'll get dinner there. Thing is, you've got to pay. for booze and tipping your server. Also give you a pair of sunglasses from Angel or Anarchy. All right, we're going to give you L.O.B.'s deal. But first, we're going to do a little Woods on Sports with my friend, Stephen Woods Woods. Woods on Sports is brought to you today by Frank's Red Hot. All right, feast on that.

1:16:05Well, we teased it, and I'm sure that you are waiting to find out what papers Brett Favre was filing. Brett paper. Brett paper. Really? You're in my head. Brett Favre has filed his retirement papers once again. Really? So, yeah, big deal. He filed it with the league, but he's done this before. He filed the papers last time, too, and said he was going to retire. I've heard rumors already about places where he's going to go, and I'm not even going to report on them until they're valid. Let's just say it's a place in New York called Buffalo. I knew it! I was going to say it! Really? Can't get any worse over there. Can you imagine? Also, the Oakland Raiders have a new head coach, and man, what a hire. Hugh Jackson. Oh, he was good in X-Men? That's Hugh Jackman. Wolverine? Yeah, he was Wolverine. No, no, that's Hugh Jackman. Wasn't very good in Australia. He wasn't, but really no one was. This is Hugh Jackson. He was the offensive coordinator, and they have promoted him to the head coach. I think the last team to make their official hire for head coach, the Raiders. Weird. You think Al Davis may be crazy? I think a little bit, and Al Davis did say the fire in Hugh.

1:17:25will set a flame that will burn for a long time in the hearts and minds of the Raider football team and the Raider Nation. Then he fell asleep in his soup. That means... That's a huge action on the Raiders' part. That means two years. It's a two-year job. Huge action. Huge action. Huge action. Huge action. That's a huge action from the Raiders, isn't it? And that's what's on sports. I'm just kidding. I was going to end it on that terrible joke. We talked a little bit about this earlier, but Cain Velasquez, who's the UFC heavyweight champion, he's going to be out about eight months. He had surgery to repair his rotator cuff. You can't fight with a torn rotator cuff. You can't do much. Dana White said rehab could keep him out of the octagon until at least September. So he is 9-0. He claimed his UFC title last October after he beat Brock Lesnar, but he's going to be on the bench for a while. And then Rex Ryan has done a little bit of a reversal. from his previous two games that he's talked about in the playoffs, he has said now this game with the Steelers is not personal, and he really likes Mike Tomlin. Now, that team plays a little bit better with a chip on their shoulder, and so now they're like, oh, yeah, we like the Steelers. We respect the Steelers. We're not going to talk trash. I really like him. Is he brilliant? He could be brilliant. Could he? No. Could he? I wonder what it's like.

1:18:45To be LT on that team because he's so classy. He's the opposite of a smack talker. It must be weird for LT to be on a team where he's surrounded by people that talk smack. Just run mouth all day long. That's the opposite of LT, man. I don't feel sorry for him. Yeah, I have a question. It's his fault. Bro, I have a question. But I have a question. You know, I was reading a lot of the stuff on Facebook and they're like, so stoked for LT to get a ring. Really? I hope he does. I'm bitter. I'm not bitter. It wasn't his fault. They dumped him. He cried. The Chargers dumped him, and he did, man. He loved it here. He didn't want to go. They dumped him. What's he going to do? I've also heard. How's your Jets tattoo? Yeah. How's your Jets tattoo? How's that feel? Really? If you can't beat him, join him. I guess. I don't fault him for that. I don't either. For getting a Jets tattoo? Whatever. Girl. When he goes in the Hall of Fame, how about he goes in as a Jet? How's that make you feel? He won't. If he wins a ring, he will. No, he won't. I guarantee you. If he wins a ring, he's going in as a Jet. He won't. Guaranteed. He will not. He has a Jets tattoo. Don't say that anymore. What happens when your girlfriend dumps you? You get the tattoo of the next girl you go out with. Yeah. Shouldn't have got a tattoo. He has a Chargers tattoo, too, to his defense. But I'm still annoyed. But I'm still annoyed.

1:20:06What? We're on the radio. I didn't get that. What did she talk? Is she talking about his wings? She's talking down under. I was talking about like a little shape. Oh, my gosh. You're weird. You're a creepy girl. I was just trying to slip it in and have you guys keep going. But anyway. Why don't we just focus on Lauren? Because I want to get this out there. Let's do it. Do you want any more sports? No, that's it. We'll just save it for later if there is. Another dynamite edition. Lauren. told us this story, and she wasn't even sure if it was something that we would be interested in. As usual. I still don't understand what the big deal is. Oh, my God. Oh. I really don't. Tell everyone. Start from the beginning. All right. Okay. Matt Commerce is my boyfriend now, but there was a time in the summer where we took some time apart. And? And his birthday's in July.

1:21:05And we started talking like right before his birthday and I didn't have any like big gifts or anything, but he invited me. So I was like, well, I have to get something for him. You're broken up at this point. We're broken up, but we're like gray area. Yeah, we're talking again. And I was like, I can't show up to his birthday empty handed. So I was like, I'm talking again. Yeah, but we're not back together. I need more information, though. You're talking. Are you talking and there's a little bit more than talking? Okay. And we're doing that weird thing where we're like not talking about what we're doing. We're just like, it's crazy. I know. Let's just go with it. Let's go with it, man. You guys were together for years. We were together for three years. Lived together. Lived together. Went through a big emotional breakup. Didn't talk for like two months. And then, you know, we... we broke down and we started talking again, but we were just like, we weren't like, what are we? We were just kind of playing it cool. Just go with it. Yeah. So I was like, I mean, it feels good to do it. Yeah. So I was like, I can't just show up empty handed to his birthday. I'm going to get him a little bit of something. And I was running around that day. And so I was just like, I went to Barnes and Noble and I was like, I don't know. So I picked him out. Let me guess.

1:22:11Something on guitar, because he's into guitar. Yeah, that'd be good. I've already done that. Keith Richards' new bio. Oh, that'd be good. That'd be great for a musician. He doesn't read bios. Oh. I had already gotten him a guitar book before. I got... A different guitar book. No. A poetry book. A poetry book. A book of who he writes... He writes love poems? Yeah. I wanted to get him something to reflect what was going on in his life at the time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So how to make it the music business? No. No. Okay. It was his 29th birthday. And Matt likes to make lists about everything that he does, like goals and stuff like that. So one book was a book on lists. It was kind of like a journal to keep some stuff on yourself so that when you were older you could be like, what were some of my Sunday rituals when I was 29? What were some of my goals and aspirations? What was my five-year plan? It's a cool little journal. Then the other one I got him. And I put an inscription in both of the books. Very nice little message. The other book was called Quarter Life Crisis. What is wrong with that? Is that because Oh, You're a Douchebag was sold out that day? Yeah.

1:23:24Learn how to slay. L.O.B., did the inscription in My Life with a Little Wiener. L.O.B., did the inscription in Quarter Life Crisis say, Hey, pal, get your ass together? No. Or was there a book called Hey, pal, get your ass together, but it was sold out? I don't know. Maybe it could have. I was in the self-help section. Oh, my gosh. She went to the self-help. section. For his birthday. There's clearly something wrong with you. Here's the book. I went to the there's something wrong with you section. He likes to hear like motivational books and stuff like that. You know who's got a good one? John Wooden. The guy that was the coach for UCLA. Coach Wooden. Coach Wooden. Great book. The Pyramid of Success. The Pyramid of Success. In terms of inspiration, he's one of the most motivational people. Who else has got a good one? Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins. Zig Ziglar. Zig Ziglar. John Valvano, the guy that died of cancer. Jimmy Valvano. Jimmy Valvano. Jimmy V. Right. Well, I felt like those were kind of dated. This was a newer, and it was sort of relevant considering his age.

1:24:31age and it was a birthday and stuff. Now, I gave it to him and I said, look, this is a little under your age group, but there was some useful stuff in there that was like... Because... Something my mom would say. Okay. No, listen. Part of the reason that we broke up was... The book? No! No! Nailed meathead. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Besides the book. You ever just hit a bullseye? Yeah. We broke up before the book. And the book was... To remind him. Yeah, that you broke up. Part of the reason that we broke up was he wasn't sure what he wanted in his life. So I thought I'd help him. A little salt in the wound. Get him a book. I thought, you know what?

1:25:17Salt was too expensive to rub in the wound, so I got this book instead. Oh, as if salt hadn't been rubbed in my wound. But you're buying a gift, a present. How about a shirt? Yeah, how about a shirt? It's like giving him a catalog to Tiffany's to look through a danger. No, it is not. No, it's not. How about... No, it's not. How about... Some new tennis shoes. Yeah. You guys don't understand. Steelers jersey. Gym membership. You don't understand that. No, that would be passive aggressive too. Yeah, you couldn't do that. No, you don't understand. He likes to, he's like a glutton for information like I am. He loves it. What about an iTunes card? Yeah, he likes to hike. He likes to hike and shoot. I wasn't in, first of all, I wasn't going to spend a lot of money on this guy. Second of all, write that down. This book is called. He broke my heart. I wasn't going to spend money on him. The book's called. S or get off the pole? No. Well, I should have gotten that one. Hold on real quick, everybody. I need to get a temperature check here. She's a little warm. She's a little warm. She told us this and our jaws dropped up and she's like, what's wrong with the book? I'm getting upset. What? See, now she's like, look, her forehead is piping. I'm getting upset. So what happened? You gave him the book and? So I gave him the book and in the book it said,

1:26:36Something to the tune of, like, this may be the last gift that I ever give you. Oh, my gosh. It's getting wet. That is not true. Yes. It's getting wet? Yes. This may be the last gift that I give you. Yes. You? What? Like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Pause. That was your inscription. Like, imagine this. Like, he gets it, okay, and he gets the book, and he's like, first he looks at it, right? And he's like, huh. Oh. And then he's like, oh. And he's like, I'm not going to make a scene. And then she's probably, knowing LLB, she's probably like, there's an inscription. No. You didn't tell him there was. So he goes like this. So he goes, oh. And he opens it up and it's like, this may be the last book I ever give you. And he's like. Last gift. Last gift I ever give you. Last gift. Oh. It's like kicking him in the boys and then punching him in the face. He opens it up and his fist goes, bang. Who's back do you guys have here? I have your back. I have your back. Do you have my back? No. But this was a gift. But it was a gift. But it was a gift. But it was a gift. But it was a gift. But that was over. You were back together. No, we weren't back together. You were feeling each other out. You were feeling it out.

1:27:52This was more than – this was poking a little bit. This isn't feeling – Lauren, this is like what if he gave you a book and say it was your birthday and you guys were getting back together. It was like learn how to be independent or something like that. That's how it is. I'm very independent though, so that wouldn't – Wait, wait, wait. What if he got you a book that's called learn how to wait? Or the single life. The single life. Yes. Why being single can be awesome. No, that's a little bit more. My marriage is wrong. You can boil it down to, as a man, you know I love you and you know I have your back. But as a man, when he opens that gift, he goes, yep, I guess I'm still a child in her eyes. I guess I better get my ass together. I'm still a douche. And? What if it's his birthday? You guys are hypocrites. Hypocrite. Hypocrite. Why? Hypocrite. Hypocrite. Hypocrite. On a regular day, it would have been. Kind of okay. You know I have your back on this one. I say that guy should be down on me today. However, birthday, come on. You can't give him a gift that's like. But he's a self-help reading kind of guy. Apparently not. No, apparently not because he threw it out. He did what? He threw it out. He threw it out? How do you know that? Because we're back together now and he's got a little bookshelf where he keeps all of his books. And I was like, hey.

1:29:13Where's that book? Oh, no, I'm sorry. That was later. First, we were talking about John Mayer. And I think he has like an album or a song or something called Quarter Life Crisis. And I was like, ha ha. Remember when I got you the book for your birthday, Quarter Life Crisis? And Matt was like, I'm like, what? You didn't like it? He's like, I felt that it was a little bit condescending, a little bit patronizing. And I was like, well, it was definitely meant. She's like, well, in fairness to me. You are having a quarter life crisis. It was a little bit meant for someone younger. Like he said, a lot of it talked about someone who was just coming out of college that was like, I have no idea what to do next. So he didn't really find it that applicable. And so I was like, he's like, so I thought maybe somebody, he's like, it didn't apply to me. So I thought maybe someone that would be more relevant to could use it. And I was like, like, who, who'd you, who'd you pass it on to? The Salvation Army. I'm scared for him. I am scared for him. And or the trash. Is he still alive? And or the trash. Nobody's seen or heard from him in a while. Matt, are you there? Matt, if you're alive, call right now. If you need help. If you need help, just... Anybody alive out there? Matt! Oh, he's alive. Matt, if you're there. Matt, if you're still with us. Help me. Please help me. I'm locked in a cave. If you're still there. Please help me. I'm in a cave.

1:30:415701949. Well, I said, I said, so did you throw it out or did you give it away? And he's like, you know what? I might actually have it. And I was like, oh, really? Did he know who he was talking to? He gave her three answers. He goes, I gave it to the goodwill. I might have tossed it out, but I might still have it. Just hoping that one of those will register in her brain. She'll be like, oh, okay. And not ask anymore. He doesn't know who he's talking to? I was like, well, let's see that when we get to your house then next time. Let's see if you have it. Excuse me. This is what's amazing to me right now. By the way, Woods has his t-shirt over his face because Woods is afraid. This is what's fascinating to me. Just one man's opinion. I hate you all. This is one man's opinion. In my opinion, he had a right to be kind of... Like you. Irritated. We can hear you, Jay. He had a right to be... He had a right to be... He had a right to be irritated. But LLB has managed to make him afraid. Like, now he's like, I'm the bad guy.

1:31:52I'm the bad guy. I'm the bad guy. He threw away a gift, first of all. Second of all, it had an inscription in it, which very well could have been the last gift he ever received from me. And you told him that in the inscription. For him. Now, if it had been, I guarantee you, if it had been a book of poems and the inscription said, listen, I don't know where we are right now. I just want you to know I was thinking about you on your birthday. And you mean. everything to me happy birthday that sucker would be sitting on his bookshelf i gave him a poison lemon drop he didn't even eat it yeah yeah he didn't you know what he did with it maybe he threw it away if he wasn't going through a quarter life crisis i wouldn't have gotten him a book called the quarter life crisis to help him get out of it oh boy maybe a gift a shirt not on his birthday i love you i love you but you know now you know you know that that probably was the wrong gift no i see absolutely nothing she's mad at him She's mad at it. No, I don't care. Whatever. It's gone. So then we started to go down the list of other things that he may or may not have kept from me. She's like, hey, did you also throw away the T-shirt that says I'm a douchebag that I got you? No, he, he, um, I started to go down the list of other things that I was like, what about this? You still have this? Like what?

1:33:08Like a card I made him back in the day. Called I Have a Little Winky. No. That was the card. You slay like a moose. That'd be good. For your information, it was a card that I gave him out of nowhere. It was a handmade card, and it was here are all the reasons that I love you. That I love you. That you disappoint me. Here are all the things you do wrong. Here are the things that are sad about you. I'm going to take it to the house. No, do not. We have one person on the line in support of LOB that has her back, one person on the line who does not. Virgin Nikki has her back. Yeah. Virgin Nikki there? I'm here. And M1 Dylan from Chula Vista has Matt's back. Are you there? Yes, sir. Dylan's a guy. Weird. Nikki, Dylan. Nikki goes first. Nikki and Dylan are going to discuss this. And Nikki goes first. Go ahead. Okay, so we all got to witness that couple of months where L.O.B. went through emotional terrorism. She was broken. So what do you get a guy that's completely ripped your heart out? T-shirt.

1:34:19T-shirt. I mean, I wouldn't have gotten him anything. Or you don't get back together with him if he ripped your heart out, right? I wasn't back together with him. Sure. I wasn't back together with him. Why are you going to his birthday? Sweater. Because I was trying to throw my differences aside. Be the bigger person. Don't get him anything. Yep. I didn't want to show up. But you got to get him something because. Bottle of wine. Bottle of wine, yeah. Yeah, there you go. In L.O.B.'s defense, he is the one that initiated contact. And we love Matt and I love L.O.B. with Matt. The hundred. I'm sure he's dead. You're dead. Mike is dead. He's on the back of the spell. L.O.B.'s mad. Go ahead, Dylan. I don't like mad L.O.B. It scares me. Sorry, what, Dylan? Oh, it's funny. It's just, you know, we just got to sit here and take it with a grain of salt. Like salt you're pouring into. Sorry, what? Wait, why is it we? Why is it we? Why are you all of a sudden on Team Matt? Did I put salt in your wound?

1:35:21No, no, ma'am. Mankind. Love you! Sorry, what? You sound like you're getting a little worked up over this. I am a little worked up. Wow. You did what you did. He accepted what you did. What are you going to do now? Just move forward. Oh, I'm moving forward. I just brought it up to my team. But you get him a book that says he's having a midlife crisis. Quarter. Quarter. Back in July. Wow. I think Dylan has a bad connection. Mike is peeking his head up over the table like a little hippopotamus coming out of water. He's terrified. Mike, just get up and sit in your chair. She's not mad at me. Oh, she is. Did you just call Mikey a hippopotamus coming out of the water? Yeah, because he was like really slowly coming above the table. I think Dylan has a bad connection. Dylan? Why do I have a bad connection? Because she wants to hang up on you. Wait, okay. Let's let them discuss, Nikki and Dylan. We're interrupting. We're being rude. Okay, so this wasn't yesterday. This wasn't yesterday. This was back in July. Right. This was like yesterday. Okay, that's not cool. But this was in the middle of, like, the heartbreak. This was in the middle of, like, what are we? And she still loves this guy. What is she supposed to do? But she doesn't know if it's going to work out. So, of course, you get something that's kind of neutral, kind of, okay, if we go. That's not neutral, though. You know what neutral is?

1:36:46V-neck. That's neutral. The stance that L.O.B. took, and she'll admit it. You'll admit that it was kind of... Hardcore. Kind of hardcore. Risky. I didn't see it as hardcore. I saw it. You saw it very sweet and helpful. We have Matt on the line, but we should take a break and then come back to Matt. I have an idea. I'm going to leave the room, okay? And then Woods is going to hit the button to start the music. Thank you, Nikki. And then... We'll come back on the radio. What's wrong with you? I'm afraid. Don't be afraid. I'm petrified. You have to sit. I'm petrified. Lauren. I'm petrified. She has a reason to be mad at all of us, but we're doing our jobs. Specifically, she wants me dead. She wants to put me in a meat grinder, and she wants little Mexican pieces to come out of the window. She does not. She wants to make tamales out of me. She doesn't want that. Lauren. Tell me how much you care for me. Lauren.

1:37:42Lauren, oh God. She's looking at her phone. I'm freaking. She won't even look at him. She wants me to die. Lauren. Right now? Mike is leaving the CD. Lauren's not looking up. What do I do? Oh my gosh. Hit the music. Here, I got it. I got it. CD, CD. There you go. Just hit CD. We'll be back in a minute. Big Matt on the phone. I have no idea. Next. Did you not? You're right. You didn't? I did the Mikey bit. How's that chicken in your mouth? It's delicious. Sounds like it. Ever just. Play the same song, Woods? Oh. Oh, apropos. We, during that break, all we were talking about was this thing that we were just talking about, and we were telling each other over and over, stop it, save it, save it, save it, save it for the air, save it for the air, save it for the air. L.O.B.'s like, whose back do you have here? I'm like, I got your back. I do. Do you? I do! He does. Oh, boy.

1:39:14We all see your side and why you would want to give that to him. And I think, you know, he did deserve it. But it's one thing to give and to want to give. I have meth back. Weird. Well, but then she wrote in the book, she was like, this may be the last gift. That was harsh. I didn't write it like that, furrowing my brow. Well. But if that's really what you said, that would hurt my feelings. I'd be like, last time. I don't want it to be the last time. If he had it, L.A.B., we could read it. But he doesn't have it anymore. We don't have it. But I believe it said something to the tune of like, this may be the last gift I ever give you, but love is the greatest gift that you can ever give and just know that I will always love you no matter what happens. That would devastate me that you're gone. Why would you do that? I had already been devastated, and I really did think that that might have been the last. I thought we were done. I thought, I mean, as a matter of fact. Yeah, reset real quick. I have to reset. All right. Lauren O'Brien, L.O.B., broke up with her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. They were on a break. They were on a break. We were on a break. They didn't know they were on a break. They thought they were broken up. They were broken up. Yeah. And. Started hanging out again. Started hanging out. And during the hangout time, the gray period.

1:40:30But it's not that gray because... It was pretty gray. It was kind of gray, but it was kind of not gray. No, it was pretty gray. It wasn't charcoal. We broke up under the pretense of, okay, I, Lauren O'Brien, am ready to go to this step. I, Matt Commerce, have no idea what I want. In fact, I'm really confused about life in general right now. And so you were like, all right then, it's over. And I was like, all right, well, I can't take wishy-washy, so we're done. Okay. Months later, we got some messaging back and forth. And we said, I just miss you. Can I see you? We're hanging out for a week or two. And his birthday came up. And he invited me to a birthday dinner with other people. Now, in my opinion, that is a touchy time. Oh, yeah. Touchy time. Very touchy. It's like we're hanging out. We're enjoying each other's company. In fact, you were probably really enjoying each other's company because you missed one another. Oh, we missed each other a lot. And so when you start hanging out, when you miss somebody, it's like kind of blissful. And you don't want to, what really like rocks the boat is to go, so what are we doing here? Yeah. What are we now? You don't want to ask. You just want to enjoy. So when you're experiencing that bliss and it's your birthday and then you get this gift and the gift is like, this may be the last time we speak. It wasn't like that. I would be like,

1:41:58We're in bliss. What are you doing? It wasn't like that. And as a matter of fact, the days leading up to his birthday, I was like, I've got to stop and this is going to be it. But I'm not going to do it before his birthday. I'm going to wait. And, you know, I gave him the gift under under like my thought was this really is going to be the last gift that I give him. And I just want him to know how much I love him. And I hope he figures himself out. So here you go. See, that is a little different to me because it's like a weird. It's like a Dear John letter. You know what a Dear John letter is? Yes. Dear John letter is the last letter you give to somebody. Yeah. Okay. I would rather have the letter than a book, though. Well, if it's... Well, it had an inscription, which was the letter. He could have at least ripped the paper. It's sad, though. L.O.B., was it a Dear John book? Yes. Okay. We stopped talking the day after his birthday for a couple months. It's a Dear John book? Mm-hmm. Did you know you were going to stop talking to him after that? I knew that I was getting in way over my head and I was pretty much going to have the talk. But so why even go to the birthday dinner where other people are there? Because it was informal and it was like, well, I don't want to make him like all freaked out about like what we are and stuff. I'll wait till afterwards to have that like what we are discussion. But I was pretty sure that Matt still wasn't ready. So I was avoiding the conversation on purpose. I'll give you this.

1:43:25Under that pretense and that it's a Dear John book, okay. Don't backpedal, Mike. No, no, no. I have this one thing. I'm not backpedaling because now I'm going, okay, but she thought she was never going to see him again. If you felt like you guys were in something and you gave him that, I'd be like, that's messed up. But you thought it was the last time. Oh, yeah. I told him when I looked in there, we drove away from each other and I looked at my rear view mirror and I was like, that might be the last time I see him. Okay. Wow. Okay. Now. Okay. So I get that. Yeah. But I wouldn't be mad that he got rid of it. Yeah. Yeah. Especially now that he kind of knows it's a parting shot. Yes. You know, that's hurtful. But he gave me a Dear John letter, which he took back, but I would have kept it. A Dear John letter or a Dear John item? A Dear John letter the day that he... took his stuff and moved out of the house. You kept it? Well, I tried to keep it and he took it back. I would have too because there's no reason for somebody to keep something like that when it signifies the end of a relationship. Yeah, I would not have to keep something like that. It's like a guy getting divorced and hanging on to the divorce papers and putting them in a desk somewhere. I have a box full of stuff that all came from him and this was like a...

1:44:40In fact, I think the letter said I still have some figuring out to do. This is what's happening in my life. It does change the thing in my brain now that I know it's L.O.B. It's a Dear John. To me, it feels kind of like I'm a last word guy. Always have been. You get an argument with me, I'm going to get the last word in. Period. And I think L.O.B.'s a little bit like that, too. To where she's got to, you can walk away knowing I got the last word in. And that's fair. But what I can't wrap my head around is, how dare you throw away my last word? That is the problem. It was a gift. It doesn't matter. It's kind of a day. I didn't mean it like that, but that's the way he perceived it. You know I love you. And you know I love Matt. And you know I love you and Matt together. But I'll tell you what. He said he was going to call back after the break. He should have thrown that book away. It was a painful reminder. Oh, I wouldn't want to see that book. I would have made it out of the restaurant. Had to throw it away at the restaurant. Yeah, because I'd be like, A, it's emasculating. I now don't think she's wrong to give it to him, though. Wait, did he open that, like, in front of people? I don't remember. Because if that's the case, I mean, my heart breaks for him. I would. Oh, cry me. I know.

1:45:55I told you. Cry me over. He deserved that book because he was the one that put you through this kind of stuff and hurt your heart. But, like, man, that's his birthday and he's going to open a punch in the face in front of people? Okay, now that's making me rethink again. Who cares about your birthday? Big deal. You were born. Oh, congratulations. If you're going to dare join me on my birthday. Dude, I will. If your whole point to come to my birthday party is to hurt me, then don't come to my birthday party. Your point to come to my birthday is to say goodbye? Six years old with a birthday? Your whole act of my birthday is telling me to grow up. You were telling him to grow up at his birthday. At his birthday. Who cares if it's his birthday? I do. What better day? You should have taken him out by the jumpy house and by the balloon animal guy and shot him in the head. Stupid. What is going on in there? Our lights just... I thought it was just me, but I'm having a heart attack. Well, and you have to know the context that this is a guy that likes those kinds of books. Okay, say again what the book is called. Apropos. It's called Quarter Life Crisis. And what was the other gift? It was another book, and it was a book on lists, but it was kind of a nostalgic thing. Matt likes to make a lot of lists about what goals he has for guitar, where he sees himself in five years.

1:47:12Just things. He's a journal guy. He's had a journal since he's been a teenager. And this, it puts you at where you were at that age of your life, and it goes through. He's already started making the list. It's like, what are my Sunday rituals? BFMC's on the phone. The boyfriend, Matt Commerce, is on the phone. Oh, boy. I want a break. Matt Commerce. Hey, how's it going? Hey, look at this. I have your back on one. I know. This is awesome. This is awesome. It's a lot better than Thursday when I woke up and this was getting distressed. I know. Let's savor this like it's a nice hard candy. I got your back on this one. Well, listen, I said it would be very painful to read the words, this may be the last. That would be painful. And I think it would be painful because it's my birthday. And I'm like, hey, wait until, oh, wow, L.O.B.'s giving me the rolling her eyes. Yeah.

1:48:08Your birthday, I guess you can do whatever you want on your birthday. It's so lame. You say, all right, happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday because people are babies about their birthday. 40 years old? Really? You got a cone hat on? You deserve a gift that's going to hurt you on your birthday? It wasn't meant to hurt him. It wasn't meant to hurt, but it was meant to say goodbye. No, not necessarily. You just said it was a dear John. I knew it was probably one of the last gifts I was going to give him. You looked in the rearview mirror and thought, Might be the last one. Might. Everything was very up in the air. She keeps it open. Very up in the air. I'm not sure this is healthy for their relationship. Yeah, I know. I know. BFMC. I need to know his thoughts. I would like to know your thoughts. Okay, yeah. I think in that book. Start from the beginning. You open the present. Yeah, you open. At your party. What goes on in your mind? I thought it was so sweet, you know. I read the inscription right there with a bunch of people around. I wasn't like. taking a lot of time to really process what was going on. Did anybody else give you a gift that day? I don't think I got any other gifts. It was the saddest birthday ever. Wait, you thought that a quarter-life crisis book given to you was sweet? Well, no, that's the thing. After the fact, I kind of interpreted it, and I was reading it. There was nothing to interpret. I bought it as quickly as he opened it. So wait a minute. So you're saying BFMC.

1:49:39Boyfriend Matt Commerce, that when you opened the book, you thought, well, it's a book. She gave me a couple books. That's nice. And then later, and by later, was it later that night or the next day that you took further reflection? It was even after the fact. Because the thing, you know, the talk that we had coming, at that point, I had no clue that, you know, we didn't have that talk. You know, great. You know, she got me some books. Nobody else got me anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you guys had the talk the next day. Was the next day talk a goodbye talk? It was like, okay, man up. She was like, you know, we've been doing this for a couple of weeks now. Are you in yet? Because I just wasn't ready yet. And so, yeah, it ended up being that we weren't going to be talking after that. Reflecting on the book.

1:50:54Which I didn't read the whole book. I skimmed it in the store. I had like five minutes to buy him a gift. I grabbed two books that looked like they fit him. So there wasn't a lot of thought that went into it. No. It was by definition thoughtless. No. It wasn't extremely thoughtful, but it wasn't thoughtless. Okay. What section did you buy the book in? Self-help. Doesn't that kind of speak for itself? Self-help. You buy that book for yourself, not for someone else? That loves. But he loves it. And to Lauren's defense, it was actually called the Matt help section. It was called the Matt help section. It was called help Matt. How about just a gift card then to the bookstore? I'm on your side on this. I think that it was a thoughtful thing. It wasn't thoughtful. It was enough that, okay, this isn't a completely random, out of the blue, hey, I don't know this guy. I'm just going to grab the first few books I see. But it was as quick. I'm telling you, as quick as he opened it is as quick as I bought them. I just was like, foop, foop. All right. So am I to understand that the book, even to you, was not that big a deal? You made a quick purchase? No, but the inscription was. The inscription was. I told him he could have at least ripped the inscription out and thrown the book away. Oh, boy. That mean inscription. But I didn't think it was mean. I thought it was sweet. This may be the last. The last time? That's sad. That's sad. That breaks my heart. That hurts me. You don't say sad stuff.

1:52:19Why not? Because it hurt. You gave me a sad breakup CD. I did. Do you still have it? No. You threw it away. There you go. How dare you. Did you throw it away? We're not broken up anymore. There you go. There you go. That was a birthday gift. When you guys broke up, Matt, I made, I am the kind of guy. And Woods and I were not in a three-year relationship. No, I know, but the sentiment. I'm not going to save an unlabeled CD from him. You don't want to keep sad stuff that will remind you of pain. That would remind Matt of pain. Me? Heck yeah. Maybe he needed a reminder. Oh boy. Maddie, I'm with L.O.B. This is what pain feels like. I am like you. And we talked about this when they broke up and my heart broke for L.O.B. It really did. I was really sad and I really loved them together. And I made her a CD of just really sad songs. My bit when I would break up with somebody, I'd sit in my apartment and listen to sad music. I'm that guy. I'm like, I wallow in it. And I need that to get through it. Yeah, that's me. And I was like, L.A.B., listen to this CD. It'll break your heart. And you threw it away. But that's what you do. No. But you threw it away. Maybe I should be mad. I didn't get it from Matt. You got it from me. Yeah, but I would have saved Matt's John Deere, Deer John, or a book, or whatever. Well, different strokes for different folks. I would have been hurt. I would have been sad.

1:53:45And I'd have thrown it. I agree. I've been mad. I think he's okay to throw it away, and I don't think she's in the wrong for giving it to him. Did you throw it away, Matt, or where is it? I don't know. I was actually more related to that book. It was just a little younger than what I thought it was a dig. I thought it was like a kind of like... Grow up. Grow up, Pete. 22 years old. Yeah, here, grow up. No, you don't need the inscription. Or at least now some stranger has my words. My parting words. Matt, you better get your ass to that thrift store and see if it's still there. You better do it today. Maybe it's next to all the letters from your ex's.

1:54:34Oh, my God. This is so unhealthy. Thank you. Thank you, Matt. It was really nice to talk to you. We love you, Matt. We love you, Matt. Put on your armor. All right, Matt. Get rid of those liners. Thanks a lot, guys. Yeah. Oh, he's like, I love Lauren's new job. Yeah. He's like, you know, when she worked at the Belly Up, we had a great life. 200 million people didn't know everything about us. They don't know everything. Don't they? They know a lot. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. You couldn't be your wife? I'm just saying. I couldn't be. She would destroy me. She would shatter me. I am not strong enough. Matt is way more of a man to be able to take. Oh, no. He can take it, I think. I would be like. You know what? I'm sad. I'm sad now. Now I'm sad. Why? Because I think that they're going to get in a fight tonight because of us. No. Are they? Are you? No. I think so. I wouldn't do it. I'm sad. I wouldn't do it if they were going to get into a fight. Matt is really upset now. And he's going to be running around the thrift stores looking for that book today. No, he's not. He should. It doesn't matter. It wouldn't do anything and bring it back. It was just really funny for a guy who just seems to save things that seem to be insignificant. Oh, I get it now. I get it now. It's all connected. It just clicked. I got it. I got it. He got it, too.

1:56:02When I came over the next time, he then had laid out everything that he had saved for me out on display on the bed to prove that he does save things for me. Right, and I bet they were sweet things, correct? I said, it's a pretty short stack you got there. Have you not given him a lot of really sweet things? I have. Some of them have gotten lost in the shuffle. A lot of stuff made out of burlap. Komodos. Some of them have gotten lost. Stacks and stacks of letters from high school and college have not been lost. A lot, I'm sure, of their things were lost. Get rid of those effing letters. Get rid of them today, dude. Hide them. Burn them. You have to, man. Just throw them in a box and burn it. Before we go to bed, how do you know about them? Oh, I've seen them. How? They live together.

1:56:58No, the first time it was never when we were living together. The first time was when we first got together. He was like, hey, this might be fun to look at some old stuff from high school and college. And there was a big written tied stack of letters. And he goes, oh, boy, and figured out that they were from his ex-girlfriend just before me. And I gave him a little bit of poking and he just threw him away and was like, ah, whatever, you know. And then this past Christmas, we went back to his house. And in his mom's house. But they're there. They're not here. They're there. But we went through and he made a throwaway pile and a keep pile. Oh, the two of you went through them together? No, we were just going through because he had a ton of stuff. Just cool stuff. Among those mixed in were stuff from his ex. They're there. But they're there. They're there with a lot of stuff that means a lot to him. And he made a throwaway pile and a keep pile. And somehow they got... Pushed all together back in one big box. But they're in another state. We'll be back. My nose hair is waxed. I need to wax on the eyebrows, too. You don't need to, Mike. Yeah, I do. It looks like Grover. You don't do that. I wish there was like a home kick. Stop. I'd like to do my ears somehow. I got hair coming out. Just trim. Don't wax. Yeah, I needed them to cut it.

1:59:18Looks like Grover and... Like Liam Gallagher from Oasis. Don't know what that means. Oasis. He's got a unibrow. Champagne. No? Okay, well. Groucho Marx. Some universal. Yeah, Groucho Marx is so modern. He's so modern. Yeah. Jay went to high school with Groucho Marx, and you're going to bring Groucho Marx up. Ian Gallagher, is that what he's saying? Liam Gallagher. Liam Gallagher. From Oasis. The talented one. You'd poll 100 people? 107 are going to know who Liam Gallagher are. Oh, I know who he is. Oh, okay. I didn't know he had bushy eyebrows. You didn't? He's got the one flat one right across the center. Does he? Yeah. You look like Frida. Let's fight about it. Okay? You look like Frida. Frida Kahlo. Frida. 5701949 is our number. M1. Lisa, what was the word of the day? Wax. It was wax. Oh, my gosh. You got a dinner for two to Pamplemousse.

2:00:19I'm so excited. I know. It's the best restaurant in the world. Now, you're in charge of booze. If you get alcohol that night, you've got to pay for the alcohol. You also have to pay for tipping your server. She's so excited. But the food's on Pamela Moose, and it's the greatest. Thank you so much. Get the banana foster, my favorite. It's good. Get the peanut butter ball. You also got angel sunglasses. That's awesome. Hang on the line, please. Thank you. All right, Mikey. The guy in the Elvis sunglasses is Woods. Why the glasses? The blonde to my right is L.O.B. The auburned-haired girl to my left, whom gallops, is Sienna. Doesn't run my family at gallops. Jay is our producer, and our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. Will. It's the worst. Let's see. All right.

2:01:20I have a few different directions to go here. Oh, okay. I want to try something different because somebody gave me this to me and I want to see if we can do it. Now, it's not going to be easy, but give it a shot. Let's see. We have another pair of angel and anarchy sunglasses that we can give away. Actually, we're out of those for the moment. Are we really? Yeah, I've got a whole new box coming in, but let's see. I have another dinner for two. At the shores. Dinner for two at the shores. On the beach. It's time for your mystery medley. What were those three songs? Wow. Title or artist? Two out of the three. You do? Actually, I could try all three. I think I know. I need to hear it again. I'll do it one more time. You can play it again. It's time for your mystery medley. Lauren. You think you know that, Lauren? Yeah. There's three of them. 5701949. And it's dinner to the short club.

2:02:43The Shorts. I know it. In La Jolla. Write them down, Sienna. We'll see if you're right. I do not. L.O.B.'s writing them down. See if she's right. Should I show it to you? Yep. Let me see if you're right. I do two. That one's right. That one's right. That one's right. Wow. She got them, too. Wow. Look at you. All right. Let's see. L.O.B. and Sienna both got them. Woods, did you even have a clue? I knew the first two. Let's see. Mikey Show, who's this? This is Diane. Diane, what were the songs? Two of the three, though. No, we've got to have all three. Oh, wow. You should get it. You have to. M1 Frankie from San Diego. Lady Gaga was not even one of them. We're looking for three artists. You've got to know all three. It's time for your mystery medley. M1 David from San Diego. What were the three artists? Five and Katy Perry.

2:04:01That is incorrect. Sorry. M1 Irie Panda, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Irie Panda? Who was it? It's Maroon 5, Give a Little More, C.D. Perry Fireworks, and Bruno Mars, Just the Way You Are. Wow. Very well done. We're going to dinner at Shores. Hang on the line. We could do that every day if you want. I like it. It's challenging. I knew one. I knew Maroon 5. Yeah, I knew two. I knew Katy Perry and Maroon 5. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. Let's take a couple calls. Mikey Show, hello. Yes. Who's this? It's Gay Nick. Hi, Gay Nick. What are you doing? Oh, we're just working and just sorting out stuff.

2:05:06If anybody doesn't know who I am, I'm M1 Gaylord. Yeah. Gaylord Nick is his name. Gaylord Nick is my full name. But we call it Gay Nick. All my friends call me gay. Happy guy. A lot of people call you that. A lot of people do. Most people do because it's my name. I was calling because I guess I'm too late for the game. What game? Maroon 5, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars. Yeah, you didn't make it, buddy. I knew it before it was even done being played. Wow. Why didn't you call sooner? I tried. I'm just saying. That thing wasn't even done. I was like, huh, well, I'm pretty good. We're in five in there right away. Three of your top bands. Yeah, it's three of my top bands. I have all those posters in my room. I bet you do, Gay Nick. I do. By the way, I just always want to let people know I'm not gay. My name is just Gay Nick. Right. Yeah. Because some people think for whatever reason. Some people are like, oh. Is that because you're gay? I'm like, no. Are you sure? I'm positive. That's so dumb. I mean, if I was, I would say. You're not gay as in homosexual. I'm happy. I'm happy. All right. But my name is Gaylord, and I just shorten it to gay. Just go by gay. Right. I shorten it to gay. Okay. We like it. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. What are you guys doing? We're, you know, just right here on the air. Singing out? Yeah. What are you doing? I'm getting ready to go tan.

2:06:31Oh, GTL. Gym tan laundry? You have a gym, too? I am it. What is that? This is Gay Nick. Who's this? This is Fruit K. Fruit K. This is one of our new M1s. His name is Gay Nick. I don't care who he is or what M1 even means. Who is this guy? First of all, step off. You don't know what M1 means? Oh, oh. Hey, don't go there, Gay Nick. Whoa. Use me. Excuse me. You guys, calm down. Calm down. You are both M1s. You mean a lot. You're being very catty right now. Yeah, you are. You're being catty. You're being catty. I will slap face. Okay, well, maybe I put you guys to the test. What do you mean put us to the test? You're saying you're an M1. Who's this guy? Who's this guy? Let's do a test to see who's the bigger M1. There you go. Fruitcake. Oh, fine. Fruitcake. Whatever the hell is an M1. Gay Nick. M1 is a loyal listener to the Mikey Show. Stop saying that.

2:07:35If you were loyal, you would know. Okay, you guys, stop fighting. I'm going to test you guys, all right? Hansel and Gretel is known as a fairy tale. Okay. That's what he said. All right, I have more. Don't worry about it. All right, guys. This famous piano player... was known for his flamboyant costumes. Elton John. Wow, we could accept both. Liberace and Elton John. Okay, you guys are right. This American Idol winner. Adam Lambert. You guys are good. Okay, here we go. This famous woman has her own talk show. I want to be generous. You guys are really good. I'm winning. I'm winning. You guys are tied. Why do I send the theme here? Okay. This American Idol runner-up. Sweating to the oldies. You're jumping ahead of me. You guys are tied, everyone. Okay, I'm going to break this tie. This Southwest Airlines flight attendant. Steven Slater.

2:08:59I'm telling you, I am a bigger M1. I can answer these questions. You're a bigger something. You're a bigger something. You know what? You don't have to just start attacking. Here's another question. You're a freaking hack. Excuse me? You're a hack, Gallagher. That's you. Oh. Excuse me? Yeah, don't go there, girl. Yeah, that's what I said. You guys want more? Because we haven't, there's no outcome yet. Go ahead. Go ahead. Drag him up and down the floor. Go ahead. I'm off the mop with you. Great. Ready? These two Hollywood stars, long-rumored... Tom Cruise! Wait, Fruitcake, what did you say? The answer is Tom Cruise. You guys are both right. Wow. The former lead singer of Queen... In the 60s... This concert... The two... Ryan Seacrest. I hate your face. I hate you. Wow. They are good. Those guys. Wow. I wonder what the theme of those questions were. Ryan Seacrest.

2:10:16Oh, my gosh. They made me two of my favorite new callers. Those guys really went out. Catty. Fruitcake and Gay Nick. Who knew? I can't believe neither one of them said talk to the hands. I know. I know. Whatever. They really, really went at it. Wow. I'd like to. That made me laugh. You guys can call in any time. That's right. Did you guys know that, you guys know who Ryan Reynolds is? Oh, yeah. Sharp, dude. He is a sharp cat. Sexiest man of the year. Now, he was the dude that was in that movie that I liked. I think Lars and the Real Girl? No. No, that's Ryan Gosling. I like him, too. That movie is weird. He was in... Waiting? Waiting. He's Van Wilder. The Proposal with Sandra Bullock. I always mix those two guys up. Yeah, I mean, he... Ryan Gosling's a really good actor in The Notebook. All right, well, here's Sandra Bullock denying that they're getting together. All this stuff about Ryan. Oh, my lover? Your lover. My new lover? Your new lover, Ryan. I think there'll be a collective sigh amongst women across the United States when I say he's not my lover. He's not? He's just an amazing friend I've had for 10 years, and I hope there's more friendship like that. But I don't get his loving after dark. Tell me about life with Louie. Life with Louie. That's the only man in my life right now, and that's all I can handle. It's her new baby. She adopted.

2:11:40Well, what's the deal? I mean, usually... Oh, I can fill you all in. Well, if people think that they're dating, it's usually because they're smooching. Okay. Well, it started when they were in the movie The Proposal together because they had a... Their chemistry was a little like... But they had one scene where they were... butt naked together. It was the best scene of the movie. It was great. Not just because they were naked. It was the funniest scene of the movie. It was. Okay, so what happened was he was like working out outside and he walks into the bedroom where she has just gotten out of the shower. They're not in a relationship. They're, you know, it's a whole long story, but they don't even really like each other. And so he has his headphones in after working out and is taking off his clothes, getting ready to get in the shower. And he doesn't know that Sandra Bullock is in the bathroom. She can't find a towel in the bathroom. So she walks out to go in the bedroom where he is naked. She's butt naked without a towel. They bang into each other like total. They couldn't fake this. They had to be butt naked and then bang into each other while filming. And so it was like a really talked about scene because it's so awkward. Pressed up against each other. Pressed up. I mean, junk on junk. Yeah.

2:12:45And if he's good looking and she's good looking, people think they're dating. Yes. Especially if they're friends. And Sandra Bullock, we all know what's happened between her and Jesse James. They're divorced. And Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, his wife of two years, they're now getting a divorce. And so speculation always begins. Ryan Reynolds must be with Sandra. And they've been seen hanging out together recently. Where do you go from Scarlett Johansson? Oh, man. Where do you go? Down. That's it. Yeah. Well, where do you go from Ryan Reynolds? That's true. Sharp dude. They both won like sexiest person of the year, male and female, this last year. Really? Yes. And so, you know. Too much ego in that relationship. Can I tell you guys that my brother, my oldest brother, he has a bizarre fascination with Sandra Bullock. Really? That's very weird. I don't get it. Not attracted. Has like a, wrote her and has an autographed 8x10. Wow. He did what? Yeah, he's into her. He wrote her. Oh, wow. I knew. I really hope it's not true because that would mean that she was cheating with Ryan Reynolds because he was in a relationship. And she wouldn't do that because she was just cheating. Are we really spending 15 minutes on Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock? It's ridiculous. I know a lot about it. Oh, man. It's ridiculous. Let's talk about The Bachelor. You want to know? No.

2:14:06Oh. I don't want to know. What about tampons? Well, there's a lot of different kinds. They come in different sizes. Are you talking about cardboard or plastic? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Mike looks like he's going to throw up. Where do you get your bras? Give Victoria's Secret. Right. That's the main goer. Go on. How do you get your hair so lustrous? There's lots of different shampoos and conditioners. Biosilk is really good to put in your hair once it's dry. What about the new Britney Spears record? I have a great story. Okay. Japanese researchers. What? I said the Japanese researcher. Japanese researcher. Yeah. One. I have a resurrected mammoth by croning them. He's resurrected the mammoth by cloning him. Whoa. What is it? Are you sleeping? Why are you so tired? I am not tired.

2:15:12I said... Easy, just drop your gong. He's been carrying this thing around all the time. It fell out of his pocket. Is that a gong in my pocket? Or am I just a hobbit serious? Happy to see us. It is like Leo Reif. Jurassic Park. Exactly. It is like real life Jurassic Park. Great. That's what we need. Mammoths. Here's what they're doing. These Japanese researchers are right now. They got the carcass of a mammoth, which has been preserved in a Russian research laboratory. And they're taking the carcass and they're launching a project right now to resurrect. the extinct mammoth, by using cloning technology to bring it back. And it's going to take about five years to do, but they're going to take the nuclei from...

2:16:11of mammoth cells from the carcass that's been reserved in a Russian laboratory. They're going to insert it into an elephant's egg cell from which the nuclei have been removed to create an embryo containing mammoth genes. So an elephant's going to give birth to a mammoth? A woolly mammoth. That is what they're hoping. The embryo is going to be inserted into the elephant's uterus and they hope that the elephant will give birth to a mammoth. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. You know what's next? Freaking T-Rex walking down Mission Gorge. Great. Walking down Mission Gorge. This is the truth. Yeah, it's true. What do you do for a living, Daddy? The pterodactyl flying around Mission Gorge. Look at that. What's that, Mommy? It's a pterodactyl. No, but I would want to go to a real-life Jurassic Park. No. Did you see the movie? Did you see what happened? I watched the video. I watched the video. It's 2011. They'll be able to figure out how to keep him tame. Why bring a dinosaur back just to put him in a cage? So we can see it. So we can look at it and pay for it? No. I'd pay a lot of money to see it. I want to see a mammoth. I'd watch the video. I would see a mammoth. The dinosaur is just too darn big. I don't care about a woolly mammoth. There's small ones. Woolly mammoth doesn't throw them. What? Doesn't. I've always wanted to see a woolly mammoth. I've never seen Ice Age. Yeah.

2:17:26It's like an elephant with hair, right? Yeah. That's a cartoon. It's kind of like Snuffleupagus. I bet you the baby will end up looking like Snuffleupagus. Oh, bird. You know what? They bring back a dinosaur, I'll be impressed. Okay. Do you think the elephant that gives birth to a mammoth is going to be like, what is wrong with me? What's wrong with my kids? Why is my elephant furry? Yeah, this hurts way worse than it usually does. Aw. Right? No, I think the tusks come later. Oh, boy. Maybe they cure cancer. You don't worry about the woolly mammoth. Maybe you don't dictate what we do. There's different specialties, Woods. Maybe you cure cancer. Maybe you throw all your energies into that. In five to six years, they say this should be done, so we'll be reporting on first mammoth being born. We'll look forward to that. I want to see it. I do, too. T-Rex. Woods, what was blood liable? Something Sarah Palin said that's bad. But then I got filleted for four hours on an email that I had to answer because it's not bad. We didn't have to answer it. I answer it. Well, I'm not a D. I'm going to answer some of these. Yeah, but if people are yelling at you. Well, I get yelled at every day. It's a big deal. I'm used to it now. I relish in it. I welcome it. Do your best. Do your worst. I can't believe what you're saying. Do your worst. Oh, boy. Woods, why don't you talk about fishing and Woods on Sports? Really? I get that bit. Blood level. You don't remember? I don't remember what it was.

2:18:58Okay, because you taught me what it was. I read it from Wikipedia. It's something you shouldn't say. Well, I'm not even going to say anything. One of you geniuses call in and let us know. Sarah Palin was on Hannity yesterday. She had to explain herself because she used the term. And apparently it's not in the context she used it in was very politically incorrect. She had it written on her hand with a definition. I have the definition. There you go. It says, blood libels are false allegations that a person or group engages in human sacrifice, often accompanied by the claim that the blood of the victims is used in various rituals and or acts of cannibalism. I can't believe you read that description, idiot. The alleged victims are often children. Now, she said that when people blamed her for the shooting in Tucson, that it was blood libel. Yes. And people got really upset about it. Right. When we come back, you'll hear Sarah defending herself yesterday on Hannity. We'll do it next. Today is Tuesday, January 18th. Does it? Yeah. My name is Mike. Hello, Mike. This is my friend Woods. Hi. This is my friend LLB. This is my friend Sienna. This is my friend Jay over there. This is my friend Will. And you're all of our friends. You're M1 Nation.

2:21:01You can call us at 570-1949. You can also text us at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm going to do new releases in a little bit, so don't go away. Did you guys know that it was on this day in 2008 that the movie Cloverfield came out? I thought it was brilliant. Never saw it. A lot of people thought it was dumb. I didn't think it was dumb at all. I thought it was done so good.

2:22:08If you didn't ever see it, Cloverfield was supposed to be a fake documentary shot from handheld cameras. It was shot from handhelds and wasn't like done with big budget movie cameras. It's all done from handhelds. Then they incorporated like amazing special effects into it. And it looked like it really looked like, you know, we were being invaded by. Aliens? Like a big whale looking thing, wasn't it? Yeah. It was very vague what it actually was. I'm telling you, dude, it looks so good. It looked good, Woods. It made me sick. It was too shaky. Woods is going to be the greetings nerd hand. It's going to be the Spock hand. I'm telling you, though, bro, it looked good. It did look good, though. Yeah, a big whale. Talking about a big whale. It was not a big one. Let's see. 5701949 is the number. Okay, so here's Sarah Palin.

2:23:08explaining blood libel. Governor, when you finally released your video, not surprising, more controversy involving you. And I want to give you a chance to respond to this. One was the term, but especially within hours of the tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite. The very hatred and violence they purport to condemn, that is reprehensible. And, you know, some of your critics say you didn't know the historical significance. Other people criticize you for that phrase. I don't know how the heck they would know whether I did or didn't know the term blood libel. Nobody's ever asked me. And blood libel obviously means being falsely accused of having blood on your hands. And in this case, that's exactly what was going on. And yes, the historical knowledge that people have of the term blood libel, it goes back to the Jews who were falsely accused back in medieval European times of using the blood of children. I think I'm...

2:24:12on board with her on that i don't think that she i don't think that she meant it i think she meant it as being falsely accused of having people's blood on your hands i think the problem is she had people way smarter than her write her speech so she didn't know what she was using i think you're probably right yeah i think she i think you're right i think it was an appropriate term yeah that was conveying what the speech was meant to say but people are freaking out over the historical connotation yeah i think you're right Here's more of Sarah Palin yelling and sounding annoying. Have you given this thought, say, even prior to the tragedy in Tucson about what your political future is going to be? Are you thinking about running for president? I am not ready to make an announcement as to what my political future is going to be. But I'll tell you, Sean, I'm not going to sit down. I'm not going to shut up. It's too bad. I couldn't.

2:25:06handle being governor of a state with seven people in it. So clearly, I think I'm capable of running a country with about 700,000 in it. No. No, you don't think so? Sarah. Yes. There are more than 700,000 people. Oh, I'm sorry. One million people in it. No. If anyone is counting. No. Okay. Listen, Sarah, there's more than a million people. in the United States. Oh, really? Yes. Would you care to tell me where these people are located? Because I don't see. I have a map here. You have a map in front of you. And I'm reading the scale here. Oh, sorry. That's miles. That's miles. Oh, boy. It's not a census. Well, I'm going to hopefully be able to help empower others who believe that. One of the things that makes America so exceptional is our right to free speech, is our right to vigorously yet respectfully debate. Please don't be the nominee. Please don't be the nominee. She won't be. 100% she will be. Please don't be the nominee. And 50%. Maybe you haven't seen my ratings. I think the people have spoken. They like Sarah Peel. I think that the city of Spokane has spoken.

2:26:29You shouldn't bring up cities that are in Russia. That's not in Russia. It's not. It's not. It's in Washington. It is and intentions in this country. I'm going to continue down that path. And if that leads to being a candidate for a high office, then I will announce that at the appropriate time. But for now, you know, I want to join others who are saying. No, peaceful dissent and discussion. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Sure is. Oh, I get so skeeved out, man. I'm a conservative. I get so skeeved out. Please don't be the nominee. Please. I would actually vote for a Democrat. Yeah, you'd have to. Wouldn't you? Oh, yeah. I'm not voting for Sarah Pannelly. I can imagine her campaigning. I can't imagine her actually being the... Republican. That's what I think. You ever just burn money real good, Sarah? You save your money. Yeah. Save your money. Please. In Alaska, they say if you burn money, it'll come back to you tenfold. They don't say that. They do. You can't just make up old Alaska. You can't make up old Alaska. That's what we say. They don't say that. And the heavens will rain down with pennies upon you. They say it. And I've heard it and I've said it.

2:27:48And I've reported on it. No, I shouldn't. That's not a thing to say. Did you read that in Highlights Magazine? I believe it was Mad Libs. Mad Libs. And heavens will rain down upon ye. Maybe it was thee. It was something to that effect. Something that rhymed with it. Yes. Holy crap. I don't write it. I just say it. We know. We know. We talked about this the other day. Oh, you know what we should do? I'll tell you what we're doing right now. Because I just remembered it and I'm like, oh, we haven't done this for a while. So we'll give it a shot. Hopefully it goes well. Pick it apart. Pick it apart. Pick it apart is easy. All we do is we sit here, we listen to a movie and we pick it apart. Doesn't have to be a movie either. Could be something from TV. Could be anything. Today it's Karate Kid. Oh, Mr. Miyagi, I forgot to give this back to you last night. Oh, thanks a lot. That's not stereotypical at all, right? No. Mr. Miyagi, you lent me your dentures. Are you sure you don't want these back? Mr. Miyagi, you left your gong leaning against the door of our apartment. You want back? Ready? Yeah, I guess so. I got a question, though.

2:29:25How come you look so much like that guy who used to be on Happy Days? Arnold. You look so much like Arnold. Daniel-san must talk. Daniel-san. No offense, but I got a father. He's back in Jersey. I don't know where he lives, but you know. He's back in Jersey. I'll call you son. Yeah, I mean, why are you saying son after everything? I know I'm 27. I'm playing the part of a 17-year-old. Come on. I know I made a whole life being like 27 playing 14-year-old, 15-year-old, 16-year-old. Walk light side. Walk light side. I don't know what the hell you're saying. Are you saying walk light side? Or did you say walk like a light side? Light side.

2:30:21Where's Lightside? I just moved here. Who the hell's Lightside? I know how to walk like an Egyptian. I heard this song. I heard this song. New Jersey. I don't understand the rules here. I want to go home. Look, I just want to learn karate. I don't need a whole history lesson. Haven't you lived in California for like 40 years, dude? You still talk like you're from Okinawa. Yeah. You're still talking like you're from Okinawa. You're out here clipping a bunch of things into cars. You've been in California. You've got 35 cars in your lot here. And you're making giraffes out of here. Where's all this money coming from? Just saying. Are you selling cocaine? You part of the Japanese mob? Are you part of the Yakuza? What? Why are you speaking of riddles? I'm not that smart. What's she just say in plain English? Either I'm a wimp or I can fight wife. Understand? No, I don't. I have no friggin' idea. I don't know how to make it more clear to you. I don't understand. The bug's getting squashed in the middle of the road on the right side, the light side. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I understand. Now I'm ready. Yeah, I'm ready. Really? Yeah.

2:31:50You ever seen a grown man that you make him? Several times. Must make sacred pact. Can't you just show me how to punch somebody? I'll get my ass kicked every freaking day. I want to beat the crap out of these guys that are dressed like the skeletons that ride dirt bikes around. And I'm getting my ass kicked. Yeah, you're trying to teach me limericks, okay? I just want to get my face kicked. I don't want to know a Japanese limerick, all right? I don't care about the Japanese culture from New Jersey. I just want to learn how to fight. You see my eye? It looks like freaking meatballs. All right? I don't care about your wisdom. I don't want to catch a friggin' fly in a friggin' chopstick, all right? You care less. I want to know how to kick a guy in the nuts. Yeah, and I want to be able to slay that girl Allie, too. Your fence looks fine. I don't want to do it. I don't want to sand it. You think I'm stupid? You're hiring white New Jersey slaves here. What's the matter? Mikey lives down the road, so I did. I've got a garden for free. He's got to be better.

2:32:58at it than I am. Yeah, great, great, great, great. Get to the teaching, will you? What if I have a question? I want to know, right? I don't know what I'm doing. So I can't ask questions? You can say anything you want. You've been talking for a half an hour. Do I get like a sub or something for lunch or anything? In your freaking house. Sand in your floor. Yeah. Like some miso out of this or what? Miso. Can I ask you a question? What the hell's the difference between sashimi and sushi? I hear it all the time. I don't know. Is one fish and one's got seaweed? What's the deal? You're taking a bath in it. I'm not going to put the sponge on your back. Hey, listen. I draw the line at SpongeBob. I ain't doing it. Wax on right hand. I really don't want to wax your head. I don't want to wax your back. How come you just said right and then earlier you said light? You said right and then light.

2:34:21What's the difference? Are you from Japan or are you not? You're playing of a bit here. Yeah. What are you doing? And what's this about waxing you? On. Wax off. Breathe. Hey, you take your own wax off, pal, all right? Whoa. Whoa. Wax on. Wax off. Yeah, you're an old creep is what you are, all right? Listen, I got my eyes squeezed closed. Wax off. I could get it with you on and off. Show me how to kick. Hey, where'd these cars come from? Cocaine. I see you used to sell cocaine. Did you hear that? Detroit. Yeah, Detroit. Where are these cars from? That's a Studebaker. You're being very vague. I'm freaked out. Hey, how come there's a kid in the corner playing a flute? How come you're a maintenance man? You got nine friggin' cars here. All in mint condition. A bunch of classics. Like that. Make the suckle. Hey, how come this grasshopper's chirping at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? Get out from behind me. Don't stand behind me when you say that. You creeping me out, you little creep. You creep, you. Holy cow. I love it. I love it. Sweetie Berry Famous thinks the world's going to end in 2012.

2:35:59And I've always considered this person to be like a normal. You know the whole 2012 stuff. Anyway, I'll give you a hint. It's one of the richest guys alive. You ever just get a kid from adoption and then have the world in 2012? It's perfect. We'll tell you who it is. We'll play it next. You guys know this Friday is the fourth annual Big Bear trip for FM 94.9. Oh, yeah. You going, Jay? Oh, I'm going. Jay is the man of the hour. No doubt. I'm the host. What does that mean? What will you do? It means I'm going to hang out with peeps on the mountain. I'm going to take all my clothes off. I'm going to go to Chad's and hang out with them and give away some prizes. You are made for that job. I'm all in. That is all J. I'm so jealous. Me too. Next time. By the way, thank you to O'Neal because they gave us two full O'Neal suits to give away. Nice ones. Dragon Alliance for the goggles.

2:37:40And the glasses and stuff. And then Rockstar Energy Drink helped out too. Northwoods Resorts is offering a discount on rooms for that weekend, which is nice of them. And by the way, if you're interested, you want to know more about it, go to FM949SD.com. It should be pretty cool. Let's see. Okay. Very famous person who believes that in 2012... It's all going to end. This is Seth Rogen telling the story on Ellen DeGeneres. What happened to me recently, a few months ago, is I got to meet with Steven Spielberg, which was pretty amazing because he's incredible and I'm a huge nerd and I love all that nerdy stuff. So I went to the meeting and Steven Spielberg came into the room with George Lucas, which was like the craziest thing ever because, again, I'm a huge nerd.

2:38:40And I'm like, wow, I don't know what to say to these guys. It's so crazy. They've made so much amazing stuff. And George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is going to end in the year 2012. Like, for real. Like, he thinks it. And he's, like, going on about the tectonic plates. And the whole time Spielberg's just kind of rolling his eyes like my nerdy friend won't shut up. I'm sorry. I can't bring this guy anywhere. and the whole time i like i first thought he was joking as one would uh but then i slowly realized he was serious and then i started thinking if you're george lucas and you actually think the world's going to end in a year there's no way you haven't built a spaceship for yourself that you have somewhere and so i asked him i said george if this is going to happen and you have a spaceship Can I have a seat on it? And he claimed he didn't have a spaceship, but there's no doubt that there's a Millennium Falcon in a garage somewhere. If he really does believe it, I bet he's got some, like, sealed underground capsule. A lot of people in Hollywood believe it. Yeah, a lot of people in Hollywood are kind of kooky. Makes me scared that someone that smart believes it.

2:39:56Ashton Kutcher was talking about him. That doesn't matter. I'm not saying he's smart. Holy crap. He was talking a little while ago and saying, you know what? Why not just prepare just in case? Andy Dick also is a big believer in that, too. Hello. I'm going to prepare. What are you going to do? I have no bottled water. The world's ending, so I'm going to have some bottled water over here. Well, you know what? Chicken noodle soup. I'm going to be ready. When's it ending? Is it ending in March? You guys, is there a date? It doesn't matter. You won't be here. Fine. So be it. It's the last year of our contract, so it would be good timing. You don't know what will happen. We don't. Maybe just be ready. Do people still have bomb shelters? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know, but I'd like it. I'm going to buddy up with one of those people. I have a bong shelter. Write that down. The best part about it is after the joke. To laugh. No one laughing. Nobody laughs. And then you hear, From the person that made the job. A bong. I'm having a good time. Shelter. Okay. Hey, those drinks that you're talking about at Starbucks? The Trenta? Trenta? Uh-huh. Okay, that's only with their, you said with their... Iced drinks. Iced drinks. This is a size up from the venti. Starbucks is going bigger for the iced drinks. Kind of lunatic drinks. Seven ounces bigger. Iced coffee. I do. I love it. It's good. It's repulsive. Oh, it's good. So delish. Let's get over-caffeinated real good.

2:41:26Yeah. I'm over-caffeinated. This is going to be my new mantra. Yeah. I'm over-caffeinated. Are you? I'm not. It makes me want coffee. Is that weird? Yeah. It is weird. But I want coffee, too. New releases. You guys ready? Yeah. What do we got? Well, we got some good ones today. Greg Allman, Low Country Blues. He's an Allman brother? Yes. He's the man. But I'm kind of out of this. Oh, yeah.

2:42:42Sounds like he's missing teeth. Yeah, and he also sounds like you recorded that in a Coke can. Yes, that's true. Next, the Decembrists. The king is dead. All in. Weird. I like it. It's acoustic guitar. That's great. Sounds like something for little kids. Maybe I should just let it be. It's pretty. So good. I'm ambivalent. When do you listen? As soon as I get in my car. Yeah, driving home. Down the 5, window down. First thing in the morning. Yeah. Suck a little lollipop. What else? Robert Pollard, Space City Kicks. I'm so different. It's not different my music is. Nice, nice, nice.

2:43:52Sounds awful. Yeah. I could do this. This is Jasper and I's band. Sienna just took her headphones off. Wow. That's garbage. Robert and I probably wouldn't get along. I would like to speak to someone who listens to that. I'm learning guitar, too. I'm not putting it up. I'm not burning it on CDs. No song ever sounds the same when I play it. The script. Science and Fate. I like the script. There we go. There's a melody. Poor man's prey a little bit. Yeah, there's a melody there. They have a really pretty song. There was a warning on this album, my wife. It was explicit. I couldn't find anything explicit about it. Maybe there's an SOB dropped in there. It's all right. Yeah, you can make a movie trailer out of it. Yeah, of course you're this summer. Coming this summer. Yeah. And finally, Social Distortion, Hard Times, and Nursery Rhymes. I like that. All the way.

2:45:13Sounds like Social D. It's great. Love Mike Nass. Hey, listen. It's no Robert Pollard. Oh, please, Mike. Oh, my God. Sounds like someone stuck their hand in a blender. It's just chaotic. It's terrible. Somebody will be like, I am appalled that Mikey doesn't like Robert. Respect Robert Pollard, idiot. It's like putting... pie in a blender, and I don't mean the food pie. Like 3.14. Yes. You wouldn't get that, though, you moron. Idiot. Hey, Mikey, talk some more about Britney Spears. Yes. Why don't you tell me more about Britney Spears? Well, out today on DVD. Actually, some good movies. Well, not this one, of course, but some good movies. The Switch with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston.

2:46:19Oh, it was terrible. You saw it? Yes. Oh, man. I watched it on a plane, so I had to. Buried with Ryan Reynolds. Oh, remember the movie we were talking about? Stone, which apparently made $1 in the theater, I guess. We never heard about it. Robert De Niro and Edward Norton, two of my favorites. It's called Stone. And it's out today. I'll be watching that this week. Really? Yeah, it's out today. It looks phenomenal. It looked good. The freaking preview, Mikey and I were like, oh my God, we can't wait until this comes up. Never heard a word about it again. You know what ruined it, I think? What? Mila Jovovich. Jovovich? I believe that because she was in that movie, I think that's why. Could be. I think if they had had an actress that was like, you know. Dame Judi Dench. Like a real Dame Edna. Dame Edna. Now, if they had a real, like, serious... Natalie Portman. Yes. Yeah, would have been rad. Yeah, people would have been like, ooh. You know, Mila Jovovich has been kind of hanging on the fringes of Hollywood for about 20 years. I always hear her name, but I don't know who that is. She was in Dazed and Confused. Fifth Element. Fifth Element. They don't take her serious. They don't take her serious. Nobody takes her serious. And when they see previews and she's in it, they're like...

2:47:32Oh, look, it's a supermodel, but... Must miss. Yeah. Also, Social Network is out today, which I'm really excited about seeing. It's a great movie. I don't know why. I mean, you'd think I would have interest. You'd have none. None. It killed at the Golden Globes. It's going to kill at the Oscars. Did you see it once? No, I'm going to. It was good. I heard it's phenomenal. You got to watch it. Why is it good? What's good about it? Well, I mean, how much time a day do you spend on Facebook? A lot. If you think that getting on Facebook is voyeuristic, when do you watch the movie? Really? Mm-hmm. A little insight. Now, granted, a very biased insight, but insight. It did really well at the Golden Globe. Aaron Sorkin wrote it, so you know it's good. Apparently, a lot of his book is based on one of the guys that helped start Facebook, but got his stocks diminished to a very small percentage. Oh, and your boy David Fincher directed. No, he didn't. I'm telling you. David Fincher directed social... No, he didn't. I'm telling you. I'll bet you. There's no way. What else has he directed? Seven. David Fincher directed Fight Club. I'm telling you. I could possibly see that in that style. If you're wrong, what do you do? Take a baby to the boys? Sure. I'll take a baby to the boys. It was like David Flincher. David Fincher. What's it called? Social Network. Social Network. There's no way. Why would they have picked it? I hope you're wrong. Let's see. We'll know in a second. Well, if I'm right. If I'm right, what happened? Where are you going to?

2:48:58I'm Googling it. All you got to do is go to... I don't... My internet doesn't work. My internet. Yep, David Fincher. No way. Really? Yes. I knew you'd like it. So you'll be in on it now. I will. Yep. Like, that just convinced me. Just sold you. Truth is, I wouldn't have watched it. You guys would have said that. I would not have watched it. Yep. David Fincher directed Social Network. I'm all in. Kid knows his stuff. Come on. Whoa! Weird! It's a very... I didn't know that David Fincher did anything else, but I really like the style of how it is directed. Yeah, Fight Club and Seven. Uh-huh. Makes sense. I wish Brad Pitt were in it. I thought it was like light-hearted, sort of goofy, comedic, sort of. It's cool. Justin Timberlake is in it. Yeah, that hurts a little bit. No, he's good in it. He looks like how he looked when he was an insane. Yeah, he had the curly hair. Yo, what's up, girl? You on Facebook? He does exactly what he's supposed to do. He does. I think he's a good actor. You get annoyed with him. Oh, good. And he's believable. He does a great job. He's a funny dude. Went to, took the kids to the park when it was sunny over the weekend, and there was a, on this cement table that they had in the park.

2:50:12Built into it was a chess set. Oh, cool. I don't know how to play chess. Me either. Does anybody? No. I liked to sleep with girls when I was young and learning stuff like that. So you equate the game of chess with nerdity. Yes. I don't know how to play poker. I don't either. I don't either. Poker's badass. That's a great game. I've got no... wish to want to learn. Oh, it's awesome. You have to sit there. Oh, it's fun. I really want it. It's not bored. It's not boring at all. You would love it sooner. Every game that's like in a casino, I have to be reminded of how to play. Even like Blackjack, I'm like, I know it's 21. She's the girl sitting there costing me money at the table because she's like, hit me, hit me. But then I always do great. Seems like such an easy game. You probably screw other people over. Yeah. That's why I don't want to play. It seems like an easy game, but then you make the guy next to you really mad. That's the problem. That's pretty basic stuff, but you don't know how to do it. I can't boil an egg without it cracking and having stuff all in the pan. I've never been able to do it. I want to hear you. You ready? Put eggs into cold water in a pot. Bring it to a boil. When it starts to boil, turn it off and wait 15 minutes. Put a lid on it and leave 15 minutes. See, now that's different. What do I do? What's the right way to do it?

2:51:36You don't have to put a lid on it. So here's my question to you. When the egg, you put it in the cold water, you put it on high, and you bring it to a boil. As soon as it starts boiling, turn it off. It's not going to jostle around much, is it? Because it just boils for a second. Because I would boil it, and it would jostle around, and it would crack the egg. And the stuff would just come out. Once it starts to boil. You turn it off. Yeah, and then it'll cook itself for a while. Yeah, it stays in that hot water for 15 minutes. Now it's a hard-boiled egg. So it's perfectly hard. I always put the egg in before I even do the water because I'm worried about setting the egg in there. It will crack. I'm going to boil eggs today when I get home. I had to look it up on eHow just to make you. I've never been able to do it. Yeah, eHow. You could ask it anything? Yeah. It'd be like, how do you kiss a girl? Can you ask her how to kiss a girl? Oh, yeah. I ask it all kinds of stuff. I bet you do. I do. Creepy. Can you imagine what she's typed into e-how? I wish I could go to the history of her e-how and read. Well, okay. I don't know how. One of my New Year's resolutions is to learn how to sew. I don't know how to sew. I know the basic principle of it, but I always screw it up. I never know how to tie it off. Excuse me. Yeah. How is it that today is?

2:52:50January the 18th, and this is the first that we're hearing that you're going to learn how to sew. I don't know. She's like, I don't tell you guys everything, obviously. It's one of my New Year's resolutions. It's just a gig, man. My New Year's resolution is to learn to sew. We never heard about it. My question is, how do you not know how to sew? Even I know how to sew. I know how to sew a button on and do a ghetto version of it, but like... I can't. If I rip any of my clothes. You want to buy a Singer sewing machine? Yeah, I do. Oh, wow. I want a sewing machine. See, I'm good at doing like the repairs and stuff like that, but I can't like make a sweater. Jay gives his kids stitches at home. I would. I ain't going to the doctor. Hey, I'm paying for that. A bunch of quacks. Kim. Kim. Give him a needle and some thread. And we don't have thread. That's too expensive. Give me some hay. But I would make my own dress if I knew how to sew. Seriously? Yeah. I want to know how to buy stocks. Oh, yeah, Jay. Because I know I like a good stuff. I can teach you that. Oh, can you? I know how to do it. Oh, because there's one I want to buy. I'll turn you on to it. Easiest thing in the world. Easiest thing in the world. You know what I can't do is those electric can openers. I'm the worst. I've been shown. You're the best. I can't. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. You like this one? Yeah, I like the old fashioned because I know how to work it. You understand the mechanics. Yeah. I feel like my grandma.

2:54:05at a computer with this electric can opener. I'm like, I don't know. Give me away from this. Give me the old school one. Yeah, you're like, you kids with your electric can opener. I don't want anything to do with it. I hate manual can opener more than anything. Why? It's brilliant. Yeah, you take a little smoke at the big one, the Cadillac. Yeah, I have a nice one. If there's anybody listening that has one of these, like, I don't know how to, but it's like an easy thing, but it's just one of those things you don't know how to do it. I want to hear. Yeah, for sure. 5701949. I love this. I do too. A lot. I sing like a robot and I love it. So you built a robot to sing? Yep. He was auto-tuned before auto-tuned. Yeah, just the way his voice is. Yeah, built in. And this guy comes in. You think Peter Cetera, when they were recording it, he looked at him like, who do you think you are? I love Chicago. I do too. Too many bands don't have enough trumpet and trombone. Oh, you're right. You ever go through a breakup and listen to this crap?

2:55:51You just want to rip your heart out. The whole Chicago, that Best Of CD, the tan color one. Yeah, the tan, yeah. They should just call it Feel Like Crap. Yeah. Listen to this. Yeah, Feel Like Crap, listen to this. I want a real bass. You're basically like heroin to me. With you, what's like taking smack? Oh, we do. I was addicted to you. You were like a lonopin and opiates. And I miss you like I miss hardcore drugs. I think that guy ruins it. I don't think he ruins it. Not ruins it, but I'd like to hear Cetera's whole verse. Oh, when Cetera gets to the chorus, he's like, I'm going to yell way louder. Yeah, I'm going to show you up. And people...

2:56:58By the end of this song, people will know who the better Chicago guy is. Well, okay. For example, who's the other guy? Yeah. Don't know his name. Exactly. Nobody knows. Yeah. He's the forgotten Chicagoan. I will make people forget you. No, you won't. But no one knows me. Here comes the yelling. I'm addicted to you. You're lying. It's like going without a drug that I bought in Mexico. I freaking love you, but you're so bad for me. I'm freaking addicted to you, baby. Ever been in an addictive relationship? Yes.

2:58:37And literally, you break up and you're like... It's like you're on smack. You get a shake. And they call and you're like... It's the worst. Just stare at your phone. Yeah, I think back on those days and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm glad I met my wife and I'm married. Oh my goodness. Been in the worst relationships. 5701949. Hill's in the studio. Hi, Hillary. Hi, guys. How are you? Love me some Chicago. Oh, yeah. Chicago's good. It's so much better than old Chicago. Oh, dude. You don't like old stuff? I didn't say that I didn't like it. I like Saturday. Oh, no. I like the sad old stuff. Like Color My World? Yeah. Color My World's brilliant. I'll be playing that tomorrow. But the Peter Cetera Chicago is better. I think it's way better. I'm in. That old guy. I was at my cousin's wedding in like 1987. And the bride had like the big poofy sleeves. And they slow danced. Yes. My first dance was a Chicago song. And I remember just being like, someday. Yeah. The inspiration. Now one day I'll be an adult. This song is rad. This to me, like when I was a kid.

2:59:57This was grown-up love. Yes. This was like sex. This is making love. Making love. These people totally. They did it. When people listen to this, they did stuff that I was not doing. And not privy to. And not privy to. Totally. That's all I know. This one. Do you know that? Oh, gosh. I think. My favorite's If She Would Have Been Faithful. I love that. See you walking by. What's that? Look away. Is that? What is it? Oh, that's the jam. This is If She Would Have Been Faithful. Oh, I love it so much. Just a trumpet solo at the beginning. What about this one? Oh, God. That's the one. It's like making my heartbeat faster. Yes. Just go home and just make out with your husband. This is a CD that I actually used to steal from my dad. Oh, yeah. How about this, though? Here's old stuff that you'll like. I love this song. I didn't know that was there. Is that If You Leave Me Now? Chicago, yeah. Do you think there were guys back then that were like,

3:01:38You guys are such pee words. Probably. I picture like my parents with feathered hair. Driving around the base. Thinking they're cool. Thinking they're the coolest thing in the world. Drinking a Coors Original. Sitting on a yacht. Knocking back some shit. Is that Sotera? Is that Sotera? I think it is. Yeah, drinking a Schlitz. The kind of Schlitz that you had to take the thing and go and peel it off. I remember those. Yeah, you retired, Jay, to hear those came out. Amazing. Got a gold watch and everything. That's right. Maybe let's do some Christopher Cross right now. Oh, yeah. Maybe we do all Chicago hits tomorrow. Do you know this one? Sad Old Chicago. Wishing you were here. Do you know this? No. I like the waves. Oh, yeah. That's big. Did I do this one for you already? Yeah. Yeah. What did I do? This one? No, you won't. Oh, yeah. Brings back the obese days, doesn't it? Some chick. Look like I'm in Donna. So good.

3:03:16Every sophomore in high school trying to look like Madonna. I almost want Jamie Nye to get in a fight so I can drive around in my car and listen to this. Really feel it. Yeah, I feel it. I like it. Mad crying. Mad crying. Why? Why does she have to be like that? Punch the steering wheel. That's what's so funny to me because everybody that's really, like think of the coolest person you can think of. They've mad cried. A hundred percent. And they've probably mad cried to Chicago, too. Even better. All you have to say is don't think you're cool because you've mad cried to Chicago. That needs to be an interview question. Next time you're interviewing a big celebrity, like be talking real serious and then just bust out. So you ever mad cried to Chicago? I want to interview Chris Cornell and go, you mad cried to Chicago. Don't lie to me. Don't lie. Don't lie. He's like. I would bet everything I own that if you were like, Cornell, do you like Chicago? He'd be like, so freaking loot. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Who doesn't?

3:04:22People that pretend that they don't, but they do. They really do. They hear it in their car. It's a sign of maturity, I think, being able to just admit it. I'm out of the closet. I'm loving every minute of it. There you go. Love it. Let's see. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Maybe I just track the Chicago greatest hits. Garrett's like, what? You're fired. You kidding, Garrett? All the time. Oh, he'd be in. He would love it. He would love it. We've got to have it as a new 8 o'clock album. 8 o'clock album. Yeah, Chicago. Greatest hits. Slow dance. We'd love it. I don't think they'd make them better if they were called Philly. What do you got coming up? I'm going to play the XX and Fitz and the Tantrum, some STP, some MGMT, maybe some Aria, maybe some other bands with letters. There you go. You too. People are loving that XX. You'd be 40, maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe not. Emily and Talented Hillary's up next. Enjoy the rest of your day. It's a beautiful day in San Diego. We'll come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it again. Mikey shows up, right?