The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/24/11
Monday, January 24, 2011
super bowlbeard growth challengecabbage brajay cutler controversymoscow airport bombingsimon cowell advicename that loonname that tunefinancial classjack lalanne juicerweekend weathermen's grooming
The show opened with Mikey’s reflective monologue on winning and losing, then moved into a series of listener‑interactive bits including the bald‑head reaction, the beard‑growth challenge, and the ‘Name That Loon’ paper‑folding game. Later, Sienna revealed she had used cabbage in her bra to ease engorgement, while Woods sparked a heated debate about Jay Cutler’s perceived quit during the NFC Championship game. The program also covered hard news with a report on the Moscow airport bombing and featured Mikey quoting Simon Cowell on trusting emotion in talent selection.
What happened, in order
Sienna's Bra Tease
Mikey teases that at 7:30 they'll reveal what Sienna had in her bra, building anticipation for a later reveal.
Bald Head Reactions
Jay's wife and son react to his newly shaved head, with the wife giving approval and the son doing a double take.
Beard Growth Challenge
The crew announces a ZZ Top‑style beard contest organized by Russ, with a cash pot for the last person holding out.
Name That Loon
Listeners fold paper according to instructions to win Interpol tickets by identifying a loon drawn on air.
Cabbage in the Bra
Sienna explains she placed cabbage leaves in her bra to relieve breast engorgement after stopping breastfeeding.
Jay Cutler Quit Talk
Woods criticizes Jay Cutler for leaving the NFC Championship game with an injury, calling it a quit and questioning his heart.
Moscow Airport Bombing
Sienna reports a deadly explosion at Moscow's Domodedovo airport, citing 31 dead and over 100 injured from a suicide bomber.
Name That Tune: Bald Edition
Hosts play a guessing game where they name celebrities with bald or shaved heads while competing for Interpol tickets.
Simon Cowell on Emotion vs Research
Mikey shares Simon Cowell's advice that talent scouts must trust emotion over research when judging performers.
People mentioned
mikeywoodsylauren o'briensiennajaywilltoddmatt commercejennasagejasperrussben broughben ruff
29,824 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
And each Sunday after the battle, one group savers victory, another group lives in the bitterness of defeat. The many hurts seem a small price to pay for having won, and there's no reason at all which is adequate for having lost. The winner, to the winner, there is 100% elation, 100% laughter, 100% fun. And to the loser, the only thing left for him... is a 100% resolution, a 100% determination. And it's a game, I think, a great deal like life, and it demands a man's personal commitment, be toward excellence, and be toward victory. Even though you know that ultimate victory can never be completely won, yet it must be pursued with all of one's might. And each week, there's a new encounter.
Each year, a new challenge. But all of the rings and all of the money and all of the color and all of the display, they linger only in the memory. But the spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel, these are the things that endure. The great Vince Lombardi. Oh, wow. Giving a speech about football, and here we are, and the Super Bowl is set. If the Steelers win the Super Bowl, they will have won seven Super Bowls? Yeah. Yes. This is the eighth that they've been in. They've only lost one. That's amazing. I know. The Stairway to Seven. Oh, boy. They're excited. I know. Why is the Stairway to Seven bad? That's kind of a cool ring to it. Stop it, Woods. It's not like you're an AFC North.
I was raised a Cowboy fan. So I was born and raised in Dallas. How many Cowboy games did you watch? A thousand. Every Thanksgiving we used to go. So I guess you kind of have some against the Steelers because they've kicked your butt. Yeah, and we got them too. Real good. Yeah. 99? 96 is when you, or it was the 96 season, but the 97 Super Bowl that the Cowboys beat. The Steelers in Arizona. Neil O'Donnell. Slinging picks real good. That's right. Cowboys best player that day. Yeah, I can't root for those guys. Larry Brown got the MVP and never did anything again the rest of his career. Got a huge contract from Oakland. Huge contract. Never did anything. Ever again. Well... It was quite a night. Quite. A day and night. Day and night. Wow. Really quickly, I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy sitting directly across from me. Woodsy's 35. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer, and she is 30 years old. She had a death in the family, had to fly back east over the weekend, and got back really late last night, so she will be back with us tomorrow. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. Jay, the bald guy over there. Wow.
All that old. Jay is 47 years old, and it looks good. I'm used to it. Now that I'm used to it already, dude, I think it looks good. He shaved his head. Jay shaved his head. Well, I didn't shave my head. Yeah. Me and Mikey did. Woods and I did on Friday. I think it looks good. And our phone screener is Will. It's Will. I love it. I've gotten both sides of the table. Some people are so bold, they just walk up and tell you exactly what they think about your head. Yeah. Thanks. At 7.30 this morning, we'll be doing what's in Siena's bra. Now, what that means is, I know it sounds like a game or whatever. It's actually a story, and it's unbelievable. It's absolutely unbelievable. It's just unbelievable. You guys. That makes my mouth water. Jay will be playing Jay's commercial, Outtakes at 8. I'll explain later. And, of course, the word of the day. What is the word of the day? See, and it's not written here. I didn't think of it. Can I have one? Yeah. The word of the day is champion.
I was going to say Pittsburgh, but then I thought we would say it too much. Yeah, we'd say it too much. So when you hear me say the word champion between now and 10 a.m., we have our last dinner for two at Pample Moose Grill on January 28th, 6 o'clock at night. And don't forget, you're in charge of booze and gratuity. And then we'll also throw in a pair of tickets to Interpol. So it's a big prize for Word of the Day today. Be listening between now and 10. I can say it at any time, even during commercial break. And so, yeah. There it is, the Green Bay Packers versus the Pittsburgh Steelers. And I think it's going to be a great Super Bowl. Oh, my God. Absolutely, it will be. Absolutely. And for a traditionalist, you know, this is two great, great franchises, man. I mean, you couldn't have gone wrong anybody that got in the Super Bowl. I have to show Mike a picture that I took last night. What is it? What is it? Oh, wow. Look at that guy. Look at that guy. Her husband. Her husband. Right after they won the Steelers. And he's like, The muscles. How would you describe that? What a goober. Yeah, he's showing his guns. What a goober. He's showing his guns. He's screaming. I think I'm going to post the picture. Oh, please do. Oh, you've got to. It's so funny. He's so happy. He's so happy. He's the biggest Steelers fan. Yeah. I've never heard so many bad words in my life yesterday. Oh, wow. Just watch a Yankee game at my house. Well, the Steelers are his team. The Steelers are also L.O.B.'s boyfriend. Matt. Matt's team. Yeah.
So that means that both Sienna and her husband Todd and L.O.B. and her boyfriend Matt Commerce will not be coming to my Super Bowl party because they are Steeler fans. They want to enjoy the game at home. Well, Todd, I would come, but I'm not allowed to leave from a certain spot on the couch. You have to sit there in that spot, right? Because it's apparently a lucky spot. But he's going to Vegas. No, he'll be back. Oh, he'll be back for the game. His flight is early Sunday morning. Bet you he doesn't make that flight. He will. I said, I was like, are you sure you don't want to stay? And he said, oh, no, we will be back here and I will be standing in this spot. That's pretty cool. I think BFMC and LOB are going to come for a half is what I heard. They are. That's what I heard. I'm very. Sad about it. And I wrote a song to show you how I feel. Congrats Steelers fans. You guys are the world champs again. And the game hasn't even been played yet. And I know that they'll win. Goodbye L-O-B-N. Goodbye to Todd and Sienna. Cause they ain't coming to my house now.
For the big Super Bowl party. Don't forget BFMC. And it seems to me that the Jets were there. But they just weren't gonna win. Because the Steelers were so good that they just took it to them. And I would have liked to have seen my friends. And it's all about me. Oh, great. Oh, it's dynamite. Wow. I feel bad now. No, well, you know. Not bad enough to come over, though. Yeah, that's true. Dang it. My wife was so mad at me. Why? Because, you know, I said, selfishly, I want the Jets to win. I want to see Sienna and Todd. And she's like, that is so rude. Those are your friends. You should be rooting for the Steelers and them to be happy. And I'm like, I want them to be here. I would be there.
But I have a possessed husband who's so hardcore. I know. I completely agree. I know exactly where he's coming from. Sure. I was invited places to watch the Yankees playoff games. I said, dude, I'm not leaving my house. And not only am I not leaving my house, you can't come over. Yeah. I have to watch it by myself. My dad and Todd usually watch these games together. My dad will come over. We'll go over there. And my dad's like, don't worry. I'm not coming over. Yeah. Let's see. 570-1949. is our phone number, M1Evan. What was the word of the day? That is correct. Wow, nice. And it was in the song. Wow. And you were very, very astute, and you caught it. Very, very, very, very good, dude. Last dinner for two to Pample Moose Grill on January 28th. We're throwing in a pair of concert tickets to Interpol. Hang in the line, okay? Thank you. All right. So there it is. I'll continue to just keep picking the word of the day. Sorry about that. That's all right. That's all right. We've got to listen bright and early. That's good. Steelers are freaking good. Man, they are good. They're tough and nasty. Nasty. You know you're a really good team when you can beat a team like the Jets and your quarterback throws two picks, throws for 133 yards, but makes the plays that he needs to make to win.
NFL quarterback. There's just no other way to look at it. Already got two rings in his pocket. Probably going to have another one. Yeah. Probably going to have another one. Yeah. They're the nastiest bunch of dudes I've ever seen on a football field. When they throw those, when he throws those big old long bombs, every time he does, I go, oh boy. Yep. He just, you know, again, 133 yards. I mean, but the yards. When he needed him, he got him, and that's what a winner does. That dude's a flat-out winner. I mean, just flat-out. I don't really care for the guy, but, man, he's a good quarterback. They were saying before the game how he has amnesia, and I said to Todd, I was like, oh, no, he has amnesia? And he's like, oh, boy. It just means that he forgets about the last one. Yeah, forgets mistakes, you know. I'm like, oh, okay. You know, the Steelers tried to give that game away. The Steelers are like, oh, he doesn't know he's doing it. Oh, my God. How does he play quarterback? Yeah. Your name is Ben. What's my name? Well, they tried to give it away, man. It looked like a blowout in the first half. It was 24-3. And then the Jets did what the Jets do, man. They made it interesting. Teddy, who was a non-factor, was one LaDainian Tomlinson. First half, he had like two yards. Yeah. He did nothing.
And I mean nothing. And I'll tell you, man, what really ruined their chances was the play calling of the Jets and the coaching. The coaching, which is usually some of the best in the league, was terrible. Terrible clock management. Terrible play calling by the goal line. I mean, it was just awful. Wow. But, yeah, the Jets lose to the Steelers 24-19. Steelers move on to the Super Bowl February 6th. Big D. 5-7-0, 1-94-9 is our... Phone number if you want to call us, and you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. And what is it, next weekend's a Pro Bowl? Yes. Stupid. Stupid. No one even cares about it anymore. No. They've ruined it. Well, I mean, can you have the guys that play in the Super Bowl playing? They won't play. Which is stupid. You want to see those dudes, man. Yeah, because you think, you know, the two teams in the Super Bowl would probably have some pretty good players on it that may be Pro Bowl players. Of course. But why would you do that? It just doesn't make any sense. You know, observation too, it just seems like, and we'll talk about it a little bit later, but without Jay Cutler pulling what many consider to be a wussy move yesterday, that game has just forgotten the NFC Championship, it seems like. It's like the Jets-Steelers game is what it was all about yesterday. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I don't know why. I just know that was the one I was the most interested in. It's a good game. That's what everybody's talking about. Could you get a more boring football team than the Chicago Bears? I mean, great team. Great defense. But, oh, my God. Really? With Matt Forte and Jay Cutler and Devin Hester. I mean, they're boring. They're just boring. And the cool thing is that you have two teams that are pretty badass. They're going to face off. Aaron Rodgers is good. He's great. Ben Roethlisberger is good. Yeah, he's great. And so, yeah, it's going to be a pretty big deal. And so, anyway, I'm looking forward to it. Me too. You're going to find out what was... It's such a big game. At 7.30, you can find out what was in Sienna's bra. Can't wait. Cardiff Coupe got a makeover. Did you guys know that? Mm-hmm. It's all pictures. Yeah, he got a makeover with... Who's Palomalo? It's Palomalo. Yeah, Troy Palomalo. His jersey, a wig. A terrible towel. Terrible towel. The whole deal. Football. Holding a football. Yep. The Cardiff kook is like a statue of a surfer in Cardiff. Yeah. And he's known for getting makeovers. Yeah. So he did. And a lot of people, I'm sure, thought it was pretty cute. I don't know how the hell they got a jersey on him. His arms are all spread apart. I was thinking that, too. They had to have ripped it. Yeah.
Pretty nice weekend. Yesterday was windy, but, I mean, the whole weekend was just freaking gorgeous. Sandals, skirts. It's in the 80s in some places. It's just rad. We were snowboarding in T-shirts. Oh, my gosh. That's the best. That is the greatest. Well, so how was the snow up? It was great. I mean, they've gotten so much snow that it was great. I mean, I never hit a slushy spot. It was perfect. But it was warm? It was warm, yeah. It's crazy. That's strange. Warm, but snow. Yeah, that's the nicest weather. But, yeah, it was just a beautiful weekend. Call us. Tell us what you did this weekend. Call us. Tell us what your plans are for Super Bowl. Call us and talk to us about whatever's on your mind. 570-1949 is our number. Love to hear from you. Jack LaLanne died. 96 years old. Dude made a hell of a juicer, too. I got one. That guy could wear a jumpsuit. You see him in all the pictures of his jumpsuit that he always had on? Yeah. That guy used to get into the ocean and pull, like, tugboats when he was 78. He'd be pulling tugboats. How is that possible? He's a beast. He's a fitness guru. He's eating healthy and lifting weights. Much like us. Much like us. It's like looking in a mirror. Except mine's like a circus mirror. But the guy was great and 96 years old. He must have been doing something right. Yeah. Sells his juicer.
That works really good and they sell it at Costco, the Jack LaLanne juicer. It's the quintessential juicer if you want one. And I'm telling you, maybe the guy had a secret in drinking all that stuff. And you have one. Yeah. Do you use it? All the time. We actually use it all the time. You should start making your own wheatgrass. I don't know if it's not for that. It ain't for a wheatgrass. You got to have a completely separate juicer for that stuff. Burrito juice real good? Burrito juice. Enchilada sauce. That's what I do. That's what I brought today. My dad made chorizo and chorizo con papas. Oh, yum. That means chorizo with potatoes. Yes. That's right. Nice. Very good. Thank you. I'm not a big chorizo fan, but it sounds good with potatoes. So good. So good. Let's see. What else is going on? You can just call it chorizo. You don't have to say it. Just call it breakfast. Chorizo. Just chorizo. Jay? Yes? You had, what did your wife say about your bald head? Yes, I've been dying to know. Boy, I get the stink eye. Really? Yeah. Okay, so you walk in. So I walk in, she goes, play by play, because I happen to have a beanie here, so I wore the beanie home. Yeah! And as I walk in the door, she goes, okay, let me see it. Uh-huh. Was she listening when it was happening? Oh, yeah, yeah, she listened. So she knew. Let me see it. She goes, great.
She gave me the grate. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And so did you take the beanie off slowly? Did you rip it off? Well, it kind of sticks to your head. I didn't realize that. And it came off, and there was some fuzz on my head. And she's like, oh, great. But as the weekend went by, she got used to it. Did she say it looked ridiculous at the beginning? No, she just didn't say anything. She goes, great. Yeah, great. That's the worst. And then she just fixated on it. Jasper had the best reaction of all. I walked in there, walked in the room, and he's like, hey, Dad. Or, hey, Poppy. And he looks at it. Double take. Double take. And his eyes get really big. And then he wouldn't touch it. I mean, he wouldn't touch it. He wouldn't have anything to do with it. Terrible. Finally, it was like, finally yesterday was the first day. He was like, okay, come here. He's like, yeah, that's the right length of hair. He said. Change freaks kids out. Oh, my gosh. I got some friends. He wouldn't touch it. I got some friends that this weekend said to me, we're doing something in March. Are you in? And I go, well, I don't know. And I go, well, I don't know. And they go, are you in? No. And I go, yes. And they go, all right, you're in. And I go, I don't know what I just said I'm into. And they said, it doesn't matter. You said you're in. That's not fair. That's ridiculous. What is this? A 300-mile bike ride or something you just signed up for? There's about four of us. And in March, we are going to completely – all of us have some kind of facial hair. In March, we're going to –
shave it and then just let everything start growing beard and the rule is we can do we can clean the bottom of the neck up but we're going full like just letting it grow zz top like beard and i'm like what's the end point and they and he goes the guy that put it together is russ and he goes done it before he goes guys drop out he goes and we'll put some dough in and at the end of it And I go, guys drop out? He goes, yeah. He goes, they can't stand it. It drives them nuts. Yeah. They can't stand it. They drop out. They have something to do, like a wedding or something they have to be in. Something that will make them drop out. And if you drop out, then what? You lose. You lose. You lose your money. So the last person that has this Grizzly Adams ZZ Top beard gets the dough. Hey, beautiful hair. Do you think you're going to be able to deal with this, Mike? Oh, yeah. He can do it. I can. The only thing. Because I've had it before. It's just going to. The whole beard. Oh, yeah. He grows. Your facial hair grows. Grows fast. Really fast. So you may be like, oh, my God, I got to shave this within a couple of months. Well, I have a full goatee in two weeks, you know. Yeah. And so. But my beard, it never really fills in, you know. And so. I want it to be just like long. The guy from Harry Potter. Yeah.
Mine grows all the way up to about my eyes right here. It's like I've got hair. Your beard hair grows up to your eyes? It goes up to here. Bottom of your eyes? Yeah, right there. That's weird. Well, get ready because you're going to see a bearded Mikey. You guys should throw in a bill a piece. Make it really worth your while. Like $400, $500? You guys are going to look scraggly, dude. I know it. I mean, I have my mustache and I was like, it was your birthday. And I go, well, I got to shave. And we had a playoff game the next day, and I was like, I'm batting like 500 since I got this stash. Not shaving. And I didn't. And I wore it to Mikey's party. And I didn't want to, but I did. There you go. It's awful. Seems to be coming back right now, too. Yes, it is. The big scraggly beard. God, do you see all those Steelers with the big weird beards? Oh, my gosh, dude. Did you see that scene? Yeah. Big weird, you know. Scary. Scary. Yeah. Scary looking dudes. Ben Roethlisberger even had a little beard. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some of those dudes look like wildebeests. Yeah. It's just filthy. 570-194-9 is the number. You guys know my take on the paparazzi. I think they're monsters, the paparazzi. Well, Clooney, I got this interview with Clooney, and he actually said something that I had no idea the paparazzi do. And I knew they were pretty nasty.
Even I didn't know this. And it will surprise you. And I'll play it for you next. I've never liked the paparazzi. When I play you this clip of what Clooney says they do, which I didn't know, you're going to like them even less too. Sienna, what's going on in the news? I have good and bad news here in San Diego. One is, could be the bad news. The San Diego City Council is voting today on a water rate increase. Could be spending more money on... Our water. Yeah, it says monthly bills for typical homeowner would rise about 6.4%, which is around $72 starting March 1st. So we don't want to pay anymore, but we'll see what happens. Also, good news, San Diego unemployment rate has risen. Or no, I guess it's lowered. No, it's right. It went down a little bit. I was like, wait a minute, that doesn't make sense. It's now at 10.1%, which is down 10.4 from last month. So that's good.
There you go. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I'm going to give you a little baseball news because we have so much football to get to later. It's going to blow your mind. But the Tampa Bay Rays made a couple of interesting moves this weekend. They signed Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez, who used to play together on the Red Sox. They were supposedly rebuilding, and they've shipped off a lot of their great players. But then to go out and get two old... Free agents didn't really make much sense to me, but should keep them a little bit more competitive than they would have been without those two. And then the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, whatever they're called now, have made a weird trade. They traded for Vernon Wells, who is still owed $86 million over the next four years. He's 32 years old, pretty good player, but they traded Mike Napoli and Juan Rivera to the Blue Jays for him. They had to do something, and they did. It's a very weird move for them, though. A lot of dough for that guy. A little bit later, Woodsy's going to be going into full detail all about the Big Packers-Steelers Super Bowl that's coming up two weeks from now. It was 9 degrees yesterday in Chicago. I don't miss that. 75 degrees here in San Diego. So this is George Clooney on Piers Morgan talking about the paparazzi.
You know, where you draw the line, I don't know where you draw the line. I always, you know, I'm disturbed by the idea that you're not trying to catch me doing something stupid. You're trying to create me doing something stupid. When I'm walking through an airport, you've got a camera in front of me and you ask me, hey, who's the fat girl you're walking next to or something like that. That's not trying to catch me doing something dumb. That's trying to make me do something dumb. Oh, yeah. I have to take that. And that's fair enough. And I have to be a grown up and handle it. Woods, you would not make it. In Hollywood. No. You would be in the news every week for beating up a paparazzi. I'm torn because I think sometimes I would be cordial and nice. I think sometimes I'd be like, what's up, fellas? Yeah, here, let's get our pictures done. Ha ha, here I am. Here's my girlfriend. But then I think if they caught me on the right day, mouth full of teeth. Did you hear what he just said? Oh, yeah. If they said that stuff to me, dead man. I didn't know they do that. A girl walking next to him and they said, who's that fat girl? Hey, who's the fat girl? Oh, my God. And they do it so that you'll flip out. Yeah. So you're walking with your wife, Jamie, and they go, hey, who's a fat girl with you? Dead man. Yeah. Dead man. They're creating it. Choke out. It's awful, man. Because it's like you're a jerk if you don't get mad to the girl. Right. You know, but how do you? It's horrific. They're monsters. They are monsters. They are. It's, you know. Get a life. I've always thought it. Okay. So Sienna says that.
Todd's birthday, her husband, Todd. His birthday is on Wednesday. Nice. I think 3-9, my friends. Because the Steeler game was on yesterday, she gave him his present early. I did. The Samsung sound bar. Yeah. What is it? It's really cool because we didn't have surround sound or anything in our house. And it's just a beating to put it all together, all the wires and stuff. So I went to Best Buy and I was going to get some surround sound because I was like, oh, whatever. It would be nice. Yeah. And I found the sound bar and my dad actually has one. And it's just this long bar of speakers. And it sounds like we have surround sound, but it was the easiest thing to put together. He would be able to explain it better or any guy would than me. Or me. Yeah. But I went to Best Buy. I'm like, look, you know, I need something. I told them what I wanted. And they're like, this is a brand new thing. They have two different kinds of sound bars. If someone knows, has one, has heard one and knows about it. Call us because that's my thing. I love that stuff. Is it awesome? It's awesome. It sounds good. And we have, yeah, you can mount it on the wall or just put it down. And it has a wireless subwoofer, which just has to be like 20 feet from the TV or something. But we have a Samsung TV, so it was so easy to just program it on one remote. And the volume was insane. I was seriously sitting there listening. And we're watching the game, so you hear everyone screaming in the audience. And I'm not used to hearing like...
screaming from around me. So I kept getting up to go check on Jenna because I thought she was yelling in the other room. Are you OK? She's like, yeah, what's your problem? And Todd's like, it's a speaker. Wow. I'm like, oh, my God. OK, wait, wait, wait. So the soundbar is not speakers in front of you and behind you. No, it's just one panel like this long bar. And it still creates that sense. It still creates the sense of surround. That's a trip. Yeah. And they're not very expensive. I mean, they're. More than that. More than that, okay. You know, but. Let's see, 570-194-9. If you know about the sound bar, it's called the sound bar? Yeah, my dad got it and he likes listening to Jeff Beck and stuff. So he'll put in like a DVD and just crank it on him like performing live and watch it. Right. And it's like you're there. It's unbelievable. That's solid. And it's so easy to put together. I felt like such, I was reading your recap and I read that and I'm like. I feel like a dork because I don't know what the Samsung soundbar is. But you have surround sound. I know, but I usually know about stuff. This is something I'd never even heard of. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mikey Show, hello. Who's this? I'm talking about the soundbar. My parents have one. My aunt works for Yamaha. Two speakers in this one bar, and that thing is crazy. I remember hearing my dad was watching a movie, and I knock on the door, and it's like...
12 o'clock at night. I'm like, who the hell is knocking on the door? So I go downstairs and this thing is actually so clear. I thought someone was knocking on the door. I got to get it. I got it. That's how it was. I'm getting it. That's rad. And it's, I mean, cheaper than surround sound. Yeah. And the thing with surround sound, like you said, it's a beating. It's a beating with all the wires. Yeah. Forget it. Sound bar it is. Yeah, it's awesome. And I'll just make my wife hook it up. I have no idea. It took Todd two seconds. He's like, I can't be done. No, I can't be done. And he's like, I am. I'm stoked. Thank you, Sienna. I love audio. You love audio and video. Love it. I was dreaming this weekend about, you know, putting an addition in our house. And I was like, oh, what would it be like? Movie room? Yeah. Oh, movie room. Oh, yeah. Where would you put it? You know where we have the little, when you first walk into our house, right? And you're walking down the hallway and there's like this outside little courtyard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to cover the courtyard and make that a. Oh, that'd be cool. Room. You should. A room like for a movie room or a room for someone else? No, a movie room. A movie room. You should do it. You got to have it. You got to. Nice. Your wife may never see you again. Well, she rolled her eyes when I first said it, you know, and then.
I talked to her later and I'm like, I go, I really would like to do that. And she goes, well, yeah, I mean, no time in the near future. I said, yeah, maybe like 10 years down the road. You're like, yeah, June. Yeah, like June. June. I guarantee within three years you'll have it. You will. You can't in three years. Why? Because in order for us to do it, we are on this whole thing, right? Budget? Yeah. We don't, we're not going to do like loans and stuff. Yeah. You know, we're not going to, like when I get another car, it'll be paid for in cash. Right. I won't buy a car like with financing. You know what I mean? Smart, dude. It's really smart. Well, we started this process like five years ago. We're still doing it, but we've come so far. That's amazing. You know, and it's, we took this. financial class at the rock church and i hated it i didn't want to go it was six weeks oh my god it was six it was it was six weeks it was every it was once a friday how did she talk you into that well we both like agreed on it but it was one it was once a week it was every friday night and it was from six to nine oh my god every friday night for six weeks changed our lives though you were able to stay up that late yeah
Wow, Mike, I'm proud of you. Changed our lives. Good. Because it's helping us to get out of debt. And we just didn't know. We didn't know how to manage money. Right. We didn't know. Nobody teaches that. Especially when you have all these kids and preschool and everything. Make sure in school, though, that you teach geology because that's important. But don't teach kids how to manage money or balance a checkbook. I'm 35, still no idea how to balance a checkbook. I wonder why they don't teach you that. No, but they teach you geology, which is super important. You need to know about rocks and stuff. Let's see. M1 Chris from Lakeside. Oh, there he goes. We lost him. M1 Chad from San Diego. What's up? Nothing much. What are you calling about? I heard you guys mentioning the speaker earlier, the all-in-one speaker with the subwoofer. The soundbar? Soundbar. Yeah, most definitely. I won't name any particular... retail companies but i used to work for one for quite a while who was really big in the home electronics industry and there's really no true substitute for full surround sound if you can do it now that's a great concept and all the sound bar if you don't have the room if you don't want to spend a lot of money you might have some kids or something of that sort you know it's something great to look into oh yeah and that's what she's talking about bro i mean i think it goes without saying that
If you have the money to be able to spend on a full-blown... Yeah, obviously there's better out there. Yes. But for what we're working with, it's amazing. But if you want to go from not having anything to having something that sounds pretty good, it's a great option. Yeah. And keep in mind that if you do go with the soundbar, there's two to look into. There's just a regular soundbar, and then there's also the ones that do the full surround sound that uses... certain algorithms to send the sound off the sides of the walls and the backs of the walls. That may be what I have. Coming from behind you. That may be what she has. I think that's what we have because that's what it seems like we have. I got up to see if Jenna was screaming in the other room. That's great. That's very nice. That's awesome. Appreciate you having us more than most definitely. I'll keep listening. Thanks. Thanks, brother. 5701949 M1 Sooners fan from San Diego. What's up? What's going on? Man, there's something exciting happening next weekend. I'm glad y'all are going to let me say it, but Adrian Gonzalez, the former heavyweight champion Chris Bird, and Jacques Cesar are all going to be at the Rock Church. What are they doing? They're just testimonials. Really? Talking about being a Christian and being a professional athlete. Wow. That's kind of cool. Very cool. Right on. Have a good time. Thanks, man. Thanks. Yeah, Miles got a great church over there. I used to go to the Rock Church. I go to...
North Coast Church in Vista now. But that's a great church. And there's a lot of dudes like that there. Point Loma, right? Point Loma. Yeah. Woodsy had his first Little League practice this weekend. He's coaching Little League. Yeah. He's so good at that, man. I mean, the kids just love him. It was awesome. It was absolutely awesome. We have 12 players. I think 10 of them showed. And, you know, got to meet some of their parents. And, man, I walked in there. I know the game. I know the game really well. And I've always been a better coach than a player. And I'm an okay player. But, man, coaching to me is just the greatest thing. So I noticed something that the kids were all doing. All of them. Across the board were doing wrong. And they weren't holding the bat right. All of them. And I was watching this kid in the cage. And he's swinging and missing, swinging and missing, swinging and missing. And I'm like, hey, change this. And I went in the cage and helped him. I stand back and I watch him. And he's just ding, ding, ding. That's so cool. Everything in my heart just swelled. That is so great. Because it feels so good for them. It feels so good, man. And I can't wait until the season starts. Game day, I'm going to be a lunatic. I'm going to be vomiting before the game. I'm going to be so nervous. How old are the kids? 12. That's so great. They're such good kids, too. Is it going to be nice today? Do we know, Santa? It's like a turd. It's like a turd. Yeah. Well, it's still early.
It's all great. I want to say it's going to be nice. It's supposed to be nice all week. Is it? I wore shorts today. Jamie and I looked last night. We have family coming in this week. Oh, God. And it's supposed to be 75 and just perfect every day. Wow. I wore shorts today. That's awesome. Todd's friend sent him a picture of his kids. They live in Pittsburgh, or in Pennsylvania, and his kids all in their Steeler gear to show the support. And Todd took a picture of Jenna and Sage sitting by the pool outside our house. They were all bundled with scarves and beanies, and they were like, look at us, just outside. It's pretty nice. 5701949 is our number call us about this and tell us what you think what's up Mikey show love your show I love when you guys get into relationship discussions and hopefully you can read this one on the air getting married in June of this year my fiance and I have one major issue one of the guys that I want to ask to stand up with me in my wedding my fiance has a major problem with he's been rude to her in the past let's face it the guy's a jerk
He knows it. I know it. She definitely knows it. She told me that she's, quote, put her foot down and that he's, and this is all in caps, not coming to the wedding. Wow. What should I do? Not even coming to the wedding? Wow. Oh, my gosh. It's M1LJ. He wants to know. LJ? No. He wants to know what to do. Well, listen. This is one of those deals where, you know, marriage is 50-50, right? As much as she has a say, you have a say. And this is what I think about this one. This is a personal preference. To me, the wedding is about both of you guys. But, man, if I had to make a call on whose day is it really, whose day is it more, I really think it's the woman's day. When I think about, like, planning for our wedding and stuff. If I hadn't have done it, we wouldn't be married right now because the women put in so much work. Now, every case is different. Woods, I know he put in a lot of work as well. Conversely, I did most of the planning. It takes over our every thought.
that wedding. I mean, brides don't sleep before weddings. I mean, it's like... Little boys don't dream of their wedding day. Don't we? We don't. Don't we? Shut it. When you were a little boy, you dreamt of your wedding day? Absolutely. More than likely. He did not. Hey, I planned the whole thing, man. That's cool, but that's pretty... That's not typical. I think that's more rare than it is... You just said marriage is 50-50, no? It is. That sounds like they're at a stalemate. Well, I got another thing for you. Throw this one out to you. Who takes the priority in your life? Your friends or your wife? My wife. Yeah. Without question. Also, it doesn't mean my wife can just do whatever she wants. When my wife says, I'm putting my foot down, are you? Are you putting your foot down? If I heard those words were to come out of my mouth, Todd would probably laugh at me. Oh, 100%. You're putting your foot down? Yeah, there's no way. It's his best friend. It's his buddy. Yeah. Even though he's a jerk, and I have those jerk friends as well, the wife just puts up with it. I put up with her nagging friends. Jamie puts up with my jerk friends. She has friends that she doesn't like of mine, and she's like, oh, they're your boys. Hey, now, wait a minute. In defense of this guy, in defense to her,
It does not say that this is his best friend. It says, I'm getting married in June of this year, and my fiancé and I have one major issue. One of the guys that I want to stand up with me in my way. So one of his best friends. Yeah, one of his best friends. It's one of his best friends. That's who you ask. You ask your best boys. I think she can absolutely say I don't want him in the wedding pictures and in the wedding party. What? No way. It's drastic. It's drastic, but he can come to the wedding. You have to meet in the middle. No. Maybe he comes to the wedding and isn't in the wedding party. Maybe she sucks it up. Yeah, maybe there's no wedding. Maybe you compromise. Right. And maybe you say, listen, I understand where you're coming from. What about this? How about if I put my foot down and I have a talk with the guy and I put my foot down, I say, hey, listen, man, I know that your bit is that you're a clown and I get that. This is my wife's wedding day. And if you're a clown in front of my wife, you know, you're out. Yeah. We're done. We're done, dude. It's over. That's it. I'm sure I'd be like, look, my wife's being a total nightmare right now. So I just, I just, I'm supposed to tell you, you know, just kind of be on your best behavior. But don't even worry about it. I mean, have a great time. Like, you're one of my boys. Don't even worry. That's exactly what it would sound like. Exactly what it would sound like. She's just such a nag. Oh, gosh. But, like, you don't realize she's really good. So it's okay.
It would not sound that way if I did it. It would sound that way if I did it. If my husband did it, absolutely. It would sound like, all right, it's totally her bad. Exactly. Hey, he says, I know he's a jerk. She knows he's a jerk. He knows he's a jerk. If that's the case and everybody knows it, you just go, hey, listen, we all know you're an ass. Yeah. And, you know, I love you, but, you know, you're an idiot. So let's do this. When you come to the wedding, you be cool. And if you don't, then that's it for you and I, because my wife, you know, it's her day. It's very important to me. I wonder what he must have done to make her so scared. He's probably just a woods. You can't start your relationship off that way. Your wife's already laying down the law, and is she just now getting married? I'm out on people laying down laws, men or women, really. I'm putting my foot down as something maybe only a parent should say. Nobody puts their foot down. It's not a good bit, man. The put your foot down bit is just not a good bit. I've put my foot down. I have too, and it sucks. And when I did it, I'm like, really? And Jamie looks at me and she's like, are you putting your foot down? I've tried. She's tried. We've been married six years. I've probably put my foot down twice, once.
You know? Does it work? Yeah. Aren't you lucky? I mean, listen, at that point, it's like, listen, I really feel strongly about it. What are you going to do? That's the other thing. It's like battles and wars. Yes. That's a war, though. That's a war. That's a strong deal. Like, hey, he's not coming. Not only is he not standing up with you, he's not even coming. Let's see. M1 Harold from San Marcos. What's up? doing good well as i was on hold you guys kind of shamed me out of what i was about to say why what well what i was gonna say is uh you know i i do work in the wedding business outside of my normal job and uh definitely 100 it is the bride's day i think it is yeah i think it's a bride's day
But like you said. Is it guy's day? Yeah. Is it the guy's day? I had a blast at my wedding, man. Is it the guy's day? I planned the whole thing and had a freaking blast. Should it be guy's day? Yeah, sure. It's all about him. 50-50, is it not? Get his hair done. It's just 50-50. I did. I had a PHC. Real good. Special one. Great. Special perfect haircut. Her day. Was it? Yeah. She's a little girl. She's dreaming about that day. You're not. I know it's your day, too. I was stoked about mine. Great. I mean, I think you should be. Yeah. But don't you think that it's more her day? No, I kind of wanted it my way. Really? Yeah. Kind of did it my way. Okay. Your situation was a little bit different though. And I'll say this. Jamie had been married before. She'd been married before. So she was like, I don't care, whatever. And see, that's what I was going to say. Like, if your wife, if you're getting married and your soon-to-be wife is like, listen, do whatever, I don't care. Yeah. But that's not usually the way it is. Usually the way it is, is this is my special day. Blah, blah, blah. And I just go. I mean, you have the perfect flavored cake. Yeah. Everything matters. It's my special day. Woods. It's my fun day. I remember we eloped, Rebecca and I, we eloped. And so when we came back, we had this reception for family and friends. And it was really nice and really beautiful and everything. But the food was all foofy. Foofy? Yeah. Give me an example.
Like there were no normal choices. Everything was foofy. I'm surprised you let her pick the food. We went together. Oh, okay. We went together and we tried. We weren't even thinking about us. We were like, what will everybody like? Pate. It was gross. It was so dumb. It was like quail. How about chicken? Steak. Steak. How about that? Quail. Get over it. Get over yourself. That's what I wanted to say. To the people at the place. I won't say where it was. I'd recommend the quail. It was a fancy place. I was like, really? With the quail? Perfect. You got to go to a tasting. I'm like, we're going to taste quail. I went to the tasting with my mom. Todd was not involved. You're supposed to be. I didn't even want him to be. He didn't want to be. It was better that I got my way in all of it. If Rebecca had said to me, nah, she wouldn't say that. She would never be like.
She doesn't do the thing where she's like, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. She don't do that because she knows I'll be like, okay, I'm out. There's some things that I just don't care about, and there's some things that he knows he has to go to, but can't enforce all of them. Emma and Kim from Paradise Hills. What's up? Morning. Hi. Good morning. I just wanted to throw something out there for this guy to think about. Him and his fiancée discuss this and decide to either have him in the wedding or at the wedding. And the guy can be civil. But admittedly, they've all agreed he's a jerk. They all know he's a jerk. And if he knows that there's this conflict going on, which he probably does. then how is he going to behave if he does get to be in the wedding? Is he going to be a jerk and ruin the reception and the wedding? That's who he is. He's a jerk. That's a thing, man. You're a jerk. If you're that guy, that's your bit. What are you going to do? You're going to go, what are you talking about? I'll tell you this. Even if he says he's going to be on his best behavior, he's not.
You're probably right. He gets a few cocktails in him and he's going to be like, eh. That's who he is. I thought you were going to lose weight for the wedding. He says that to your wife or something. You're like, oh, wow. It just makes it more fun. Yeah. Yeah, right, Jay. I would kill someone. She's all done up. She's all done up and everything. He's like, what's with the hooker? What's with the hooker makeup? So you get married. He just said you're going to put on the hooker makeup. Wow. And she looks at you. That infuriates me, even the thought of it. And you're like, oh, you son of a bitch. You're like, dude, come on, man. I told you, man. He's like, dude, it's funny. I was just kidding, dude. I was messing around. I don't really think she, oh, really? I think she's a hooker. She looks like a prostitute. She's a prostitute, really? I can't even, oh. Excuse me, princess died. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I hate that guy right now. He's getting dragged. Hey, sorry, Princess Diana. I didn't know you were royalty, dude. Yeah, sorry. I should have brought a carriage. You're going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight? Get him out of here. Get him the hell out of here. It's terrible. Hey, you know what? I just had an idea. What do we have as a prize to give away, Jay?
We have a pair of tickets to go see Interpol. Nice. A pair of tickets for Interpol. All right. Name that loon. You fold twice to the middle, fold back and forth, pull the ends out, flip over, open the flaps, fold the edges, crease the front, fold in half, fold the wings down, push in the bottom corners, and fold the wings back out. Or would you like one of my kindergartners to show you? Who was that? Name that loon. 570-1949. First correct answer. Win. Also, Woods of Wisdom next. You got a question for Woodsy? He's our guy's guy. Any guy's guy question you got, call us with it. Yeah, planning weddings and whatnot. Sure. Oh, yeah, it looks like it is going to be nice. Oh, look at that. It's beautiful. Oh, man. I love this town. It's such a beautiful place. I love it so much. It's the greatest. Never leaving. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. That's Woodsy. The guy's sitting right across from me in the Yankees cap. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is not here today.
But she'll be with us tomorrow. Sienna is our news girl. Jay is our bald-headed producer. He's 47. All right, so your job was to name this loon. Fold twice to the middle, fold back and forth, pull the ends out, flip over, open the flaps, fold the edges, crease the front, fold in half, fold the wings down, push in the bottom corners, and fold the wings back out. Would you like one of my kindergartners to show you? M1 Castillo from Escondido. Who was that? That is Lily from Our Mr. Mother. That is correct, my friend. Very well done. Jay, what is it again? What did he win? Interpol. Interpol tickets. There you go. Nice. Well done, bro. Great band. Hang on the line. Lauren always says that she's really anal about how Matt folds stuff, so she'll take it apart and refold it. Yeah, she does. I can't fold anything. Me neither. And I've never been able to fold things. I'm pretty good. I'm lazy, though. You know how to fold stuff good? Well, I worked in retail, and you have to learn. They actually show you? Yeah, some people are really crazy and make you fold over, like, a wooden board, so it's, like, perfect. Yeah, I did do that at Banana Republic. Oh, I never had to do that, luckily. Wait till we tell you at 7.30 what Sienna had in her bra. Oh, wow. True story. Saw it.
I saw it. Saw it in my own eyes. I saw it in my own eyes. Ridiculous. Well, it was in the recap. I didn't notice it all day. We'll tell you it's 7.30, but I didn't notice it all day. And then I think it was Woods after the show that was like, dude, did you not read her recap? It was Jay. He goes, did you not read her recap? And I go, I did. I did. And I had highlighted your recap. Yeah. But the first thing that you had on your recap was great. I highlighted it. I'm like, done. I didn't go on to the second paragraph, which was a completely different story. Yeah. Which was what. I usually give a few bullet points of what I did. But I'm going to need women to defend me. I have a few. I've never heard of this. Most women are going to be like, how do I defend what I didn't know? I know, but I just hope that there's someone that can defend me. Bring on the big ones. Well, anyway, that's coming up in just a little bit. Let's see. Let's do this. Woods of Wisdom. You can call, too. If you have a question you want to ask of Woods, call. All right, so Woods is our guy's guy, and so he'll answer questions about dating, clothes, women, cologne, sports. Whatever you have that's a guy's guy question, Woods can answer it.
And if you go to MikeyShow.com, you're going to see a link there. You can click on to write and ask him a question. And so do it. 570-194-9 is our number if you want to call and ask a question for Woodsy in Woods of Wisdom. This is a good one. From M1Bway. Woods, I'm still hung up on a woman that I used to date. It's been over for a while, and I've started seeing someone else. girl is still on my mind a lot. I just want to forget her. What's the best way every guy has gone through this? Gin. Whiskey. That would make it worse. You're a clown.
Rye. Wow. Rye. Vodka, not so much. Rye hasn't been around since 1720, by the way. I've never even heard of rye. Jay used to drink it. Jay used to make it in the Civil War. Listen, dude. I married that woman. That was... That was my woman. Back early in our relationship, we would split up and I would date somebody else. Always in the back of my mind was Jamie. I married her. I made it happen. You're not really helping this guy. I don't want to help this guy because I think there's a reason. You're telling him that he should break up with the girl that he's with now and that he should just get back with the woman. That's what I did. What if she dumped him? That's a tough one, Jen. Rye, whiskey. Dude, here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's such a corny old saying, but it's so true. Time heals. You ask for an answer, that is the only surefire answer, and it's the worst answer that you can get. But that's the one. It's time. That's the only thing that's going to help. I'll say this to you, the person that wrote this.
And this is bad news. I'm sorry. Everybody that's going through it right now that's listening, this is bad news. You are in a prison sentence. Yep. And you have to stay in this emotional jail for a while. And it's federal prison, so you do day for day. It's day for day. There's no early release. Yes. And it's going to hurt. Yep, every day. Some days worse than others. Some days worse than others. But it is a prison sentence. And the only way to avoid it, there is no early parole. Nope. There is no getting out early. You just have to just go through the days. And you don't know how long you're going to be in this jail. It may be for way longer than you ever expected. Yep. There's going to be a day that you wake up and you think it's, you know, they talk about it in the movie Swingers. You know, he's like, there's going to be a day you wake up and you don't think about her or you think about her less and less and less. But there's going to be a part of you that maybe thinks about it for the rest of your life, and that's okay. I mean, you can have that in the back of your mind. Comforting. I mean, hey, dude. Rye, whiskey, gin, there you go. No, don't do that. M1 Chaz from Penasquitas has a question for you. Go ahead, Chaz. I met a friend, or I met a girl through a mutual friend of mine. We went on a date last Friday, and the date was fine. We had a lot in common.
But ever since then, she's been posting nonstop on her Facebook, like, secret messages that are specifically aimed at me. Like, a certain someone called me this week. Oh, boy. And you're obviously friends with her on Facebook because you see these messages. Yeah. I mean, she knows that I see them. Oh, boy. But, I mean, we've been on one date. I've known her about a week now. I'm the type that just likes to get to know a person first. And I feel like she's just rushing it and advertising this way too much. So I'm wondering if she is crazy. Chaz, there's a song by Iron Maiden. It's called Run to the Hill.
And that would be my advice for you, my friend. Wow. Dude. Super cool. Otherwise, she is really, really hot. Good looking. Okay. Like I said, we have a lot in common. Is she much younger than you? It feels like she's much younger. That's the way to go. Two years younger? Yeah. I'd get some. Out. Oh, get some and then run to the house. Oh, gross. See, I have a different take. Maybe there's nothing. Yeah. Maybe she's just saying how she feels. If you give the take that I think you're going to give, we have problems. Okay. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Let me just say this. Chaz, do you not like it? No. I like to have my space. I like to take things slow. Okay. I mean, I got a good first impression, but since then, she has just been weirding me out. It's not just Facebook. Okay. It's Facebook, Twitter. She'll change her G-chat status to something along those lines. Oh, boy. It's starting to weird me out. Okay. So you don't like it? No. Okay. If you don't like it, then I wouldn't continue because that's who she is. Yeah. And so if you keep dating her, that's who she is. And it's not like you're going to one day be like, oh, I don't care now. Like, this guy said this to me one time.
I've never forgotten it. I've said it on the air a million times. Guy said this to me one time. He wrote it in an email. His name was Brent. I saved this email forever. Forever. He said, if you are thinking about marrying someone, take the most annoying quality that they have and multiply it times 10. If you can live with that, marry them. I've never forgotten it. Now, when I was marrying Rebecca, I remembered that. And I remembered that one of the most and I love her and she knows I love her. She's heard me talk about this before. Yeah. So I'll tell you what that most annoying quality was. She has this thing where if she's talking, you can't interrupt in the middle of it and be like, OK, for instance, I'll show you exactly what I mean. Sienna, I want you to tell me about how you got.
I want you to tell me about how you got your husband that new surround sound system. Okay. So it was Todd's birthday, and he's turning 39, and we didn't really have surround sound in our living room, so I wanted to get him something good, but nothing with a lot of wiring. Where'd you get it? Oh. Now, see, Sienna is able to go at Best Buy. Yeah. Okay? And continue. And continue. Right. Okay? My wife believes that what I did was rude. Oh, wow. Always has. Okay. This is my wife's bit. This is my wife's bit. Okay. So we'll be talking and she'll go, she'll go, I went to, you know, and I'll go, where'd you get it? And she'll go. And it was so, and I figured I could go and I could probably pick it up. And she'll finish whatever she's saying. Then there will be a pause and she'll go, I got it at Best Buy. Oh, wow. And I'm like. She just wants you to wait. I feel so bad. I've totally done that to her. I've done it to her a thousand times. It's not. I'm telling you, she does it with one person, her spouse. She's done it from when we were dating. She does it today. She's done it. It's been since the beginning of our relationship. That's hysterical. Yeah. Now, and I would go like this. I would go.
Really, babe? And she goes, I'm almost done. And I would be... So I would say, even now, I'll be like, where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? It's a great bit. So I'll just tell you, Chaz, multiply it times 10. Now, I'm not suggesting you're going to marry the girl, but in life, you either break up or you get married, or your name's Goldie Hawn. But in life, You either break up or you get married. Most of us. Yeah. Okay. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, they didn't. They dated and stayed together for a million years and they never got married. But most people, if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend right now, you're either going to break up with them or you're going to marry them. Yeah. One of the two is going to happen. Right. And if you're trying to decide which one, you look at that situation and you're like, that's who she is.
I, by the way, Woods, would find that very feminine. Yeah, you would think it was very sweet. I would think it was feminine. I would think it was sweet. I'll tell you what. It depends on how stoked you are about the girl. And it sounds like she's really hot, but, man, it just doesn't sound like a love connection because that's not who you are and you don't like stuff like that. What does she look like? She's about 5'8". She has dark hair, freckles. Sienna. Sienna. Sounds like Santa. Yeah, a little miracle. Uh-huh. So, hey, listen. I mean, she's real cute. And, I mean, that's kind of the answer I was leaning toward is that she's crazy. A little bit. She's a little crazy. If a guy does that, he's a big fat Sally P-word creep. Yeah. That's what he is. Sure hope someone calls me. It's Captain Buzzkill sitting in his basement, you know. Yeah. I sure hope my Russian bride calls me. Oh, yeah. I guarantee he does it. Guaranteed. So.
Hey, I've done it. I've been creepy text guy. Like, hey, you know, you drop a girl off and be like, wow, text her on the drive home. Boy, that was really fun. I can't wait to do it again. They're like, oh, you're a creep. You're an over-anxious creep. Todd did that and it was adorable. And how do you know that they did that? But he, Todd, I guarantee you before he said it was like. Do I do this? Do I not? Do I do this? Do I play a Louvre? Men, it's so hard to read women, which is the age-old question. What do women want? I mean, nobody really knows. Good luck, Chaz. I've thought about passive-aggressively responding in my own statuses. Sure hope someone relaxes a little bit before our second date. Sure hope someone's computer dies. Sure hope somebody takes their Xanax today. Yeah, it doesn't really sound like a match made in heaven. It doesn't sound. He's a much more private guy. And, hey, I get that, man. And people are like that. Dude, L.O.B. would be the perfect girl for you. Oh, absolutely. L.O.B. would. If she was here. She would.
Never do something like that. Never. Never. If you'd gone out for about two years, she'd post it. Maybe. She would maybe put she's in a relationship. After two years, what she would do is she would write that, put it in a sealed envelope, and hand it to you, and then make you burn it after you read it. See, that's perfect. Yeah. It ain't her. She'll be back tomorrow. Good luck. Thanks for the call. Yeah, I mean, me personally, I would find that feminine and cute. Some guys are, you know. Some guys are more desperate than others, Mike. Oh, wow. I knew I shouldn't have once I said your stupid name. Besides that, you have no idea what I'm like with that one. I have some idea. What? I've been on millions of dates. Where's the last place you went? He was a lucky guy. Yeah, what was his name? Ben again. So it was a while ago. It was a group date in high school. Well, before I met my girlfriend, Penelope, we used to go on a cyber date. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have a girlfriend. Cyber dates? That's not a real date. A cyber date? It's not a real date. It is a real date. It's not a real date. The only difference is that you're not face-to-face. Right. Which, if you were face-to-face someone, they'd probably vomit. You know what? That's mean. I don't care. And also, you have no idea what I look like.
He said, dude. No, you don't. I've seen your picture. What? I've seen your picture. That's a picture. Is it? So many pinners. You tell us. What do you look like? I'm six feet four. Yeah. Standing on a chair. Standing on a ladder. A ladder. I'm six feet four, 200 pounds. I'm very athletic. Are you lean? What sport do you play? I don't play anymore. I hurt my wrist. Playing with a mouse? Going to war? Click, click. Oh, boy. Just throw it out there, Jay. You're so disgusting. You're so perverted. You're so perverted. What color is your hair? Brown. What's it styled like right now? I can't tell you everything. When I would go on cyber dates, my avatar would meet their avatar. Wow. That's very sad. And I'll tell you something else.
Oh, I bet it did. It didn't get dirty. My skin's crawling. My skin's crawling. You're a creep. You're a creep. Oh, wow. You're a big fat creep. Why am I a creep? You go on dates. You do it. I have a wife. Right, but you used to go on dates, and when you did, you did it. Yeah, but these were in person. We actually had a female there. Right, exactly. At least in my way, there's no VD. VD. Oh, my gosh. There's not two cartoons going on. That's true. They're not cartoons, Jay. Is it anime? You're talking about anime pornography, aren't you? Yes. Anime? Anime. Yeah, that's right. Anime. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. And I'm also talking about when I would have dates with girls whose avatars. Escorts or? Avatars online. We would meet up. Asian tan. What? That's not a date. You're paying for that.
You know, I bet I could teach you a thing or two. I bet you couldn't. Where did you meet one of the girls you went on a date with? In the chat room. And then you met her? Yeah. We never met face to face. Well, that's not a date then. That's what you said. You went on actual dates. We went on dates online. Our avatars would get together and we would get down. That's disgusting. It's not disgusting. It's disgusting. It's not. It's creepy. Just because you never did anything. Right. I had real women. Say it. Someday, my friend. Someday. Okay, I'm at Epidem. You what? You did? I'm at Epidem. You did? Yeah. I doubt it. I didn't, but I would. I know you would. You know you would. And I will. I'm sure you will someday. I'll save myself. Well, good for you. Good for you. That's the way to do it. I'm going to lose weight this year. Good. Good. Wow. And when I do, you will be sorry. I really won't be. I'm married to a very beautiful woman. Yeah, well, you'll just take back everything you need.
Yeah, probably not. I probably won't. But it's nice to dream. Okay. Well, let's see it. You can tell yourself that. You and Wood both. Yeah. Kid's shedding some LBs, too. I'm mean. And I'm fine. Who is Quintana? The ultimate. The ultimate woman? Best I've ever had online. The best I've ever had online. That is disgusting. Beat it. You are. She's a real typer. Beat it. Beat it. Disgusting. Quintara. Quintara. Oh, my God. Quintara. Did you guys know that Keith Olbermann called it a day? No, I didn't know that. I had no idea. Was he forced? I don't know. But this is his goodbye. I think the same fantasy has popped into the head of everybody in my business who has ever been told what I've been told, that this is going to be the last edition of your show.
You go directly to the scene from the movie Network, complete with the pajamas and the raincoat. Oh, so they fired him. Yeah. And you go off on an existential, otherworldly, verbal journey of unutterable profundity and vision. Oh, boy. Oh, for God's sake. Come on. That might be why. That could be why. You damn the impediments and you insist upon the insurrection. You get it. You're smart. You and Jon Stewart have vocabularies. I get it. And Dennis Miller. And then you emit Peter Finch's guttural residue. You can't even play anymore. That's so annoying. It drives me batty. Batty. And I was an English major. I like the English language. That, to me, I'm like, easy show off. Yeah. Come on, pal. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. Like, I used to watch Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football and be like, why is he making ancient? References to Greece. You know what I mean? I'm like, what? This is football. I got like one reference. Oh, me too. And it was when I got it, I was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really good, but. But you got to get it. It's a lot of work. Dumb it down a little bit. Dumb it down. Let's see. I can't believe you don't like old women. I'm not surprised one bit. It doesn't surprise me that you don't like old women. Moron.
Probably never read the works of Nietzsche yet. I bet you're a big Dane Cook fan, though. Aren't you, Inuit? You Inuit. You will the viewer to go to the window, open it, stick out his head and yell. You know the rest. In the mundane world of television goodbyes, reality is laughably uncooperative. When I resigned from ESPN 13 and a half years ago, I was literally given 30 seconds to say goodbye at the very end of my last edition of SportsCenter. As God is my witness, in the commercial break just before the emotional moment, the producer got into my earpiece and he said, can you cut it down to 15 seconds so we can get in this tennis result from Stuttgart? So I'm grateful that I have a little more time to sign off here. Regardless, this is the last edition of Countdown. It is just under eight years since I returned to MSNBC. I was supposed to fill in for the late Jerry Nachman for exactly three days.
49 days later, there was a four-year contract for me to return to this nightly 8 p.m. time slot, which I had fled four years earlier. The show gradually established its position as anti-establishment, from the stagecraft of Mission Accomplished to the exaggerated rescue of Jessica Lynch in Iraq. All right. And that'll do it. I just fell asleep for a second. Are we still there? I just nodded off. I'm going to punch you in the ovary. I'm sure the plebeian audience probably thinks that that's funny. Punch me in the ovary. That's very amusing. Very amusing, those clippings. Great shot. Right to the baby maker. Ha ha ha. Very funny. Way to dumb it down, FM 94.9. I knew it. I knew it. Inuit. Inuit. Trying to have fun, eh? We are. We are. God forbid you talk about something serious on a Monday morning. Why don't you talk about the autumn solstice? Solstice. Don't you think people driving to work, they don't want to think about stuff like that because they're going to work? I would like to know. They want to laugh. This is what I'd like to know about. How about the fact that we are experiencing extraordinarily high barometric penance? Say it.
I want to know about where the local protests are in town. That's what I want to know. Idiots. I want to know exactly what's happening with the Simeon tribes that are being practically extinguished right now. I need legislature information. That's what I need. That's right. I don't care about Britney Spears. I need legislature. I want to know what's happening this morning. On the floor of the House. I need Canadian Parliament. And I need it now. I don't need this dribble. It's dribble. What? Just threw a whole pile of paper into the air. What did the Dow open at this morning? Esperanza. Esparza. Esparza. You listen to me, you little Mexican fool. Who doesn't speak a word in Spanish? Tell me about Shakespeare. Talk to me about the works of Plato. Tell me about Interpol. For God's sakes, I need Interpol. Have you ever read the Odyssey?
Of course not. Of course you haven't. I bet you've read Don Quixote, though. Yes, Quixote. I bet you've read Penthouse Legends. On the air, no less. No less. Or do you not like to talk about those days, shock jock? Calm down. We're just trying to have fun. Oh, sorry, Sienna. Sorry I'm not being different. We're just trying to smile on people's faces. Now that's more like it. Old Kings of Leon. Old Kings of Leon. Calm down. If I hear you somebody one more time, I'm going to hang myself. I don't want my sexes on fire. No hits. I want deep cuts. Deep cuts. I'll be that person. In our email inbox or what? Yeah. One of the NFL's premier quarterbacks is... demanding a trade. He says, if he doesn't get it, he might just retire. And talk all this Super Bowl stuff in what's on sports. That's a white dude that had some real soul. Yeah. Huey Lewis. Guy had a lot of soul. You know what I mean? Unlike a lot of these little white kids that you see walking around that are trying so hard to be Eminem. Yep.
And they're not going to be Eminem. They want to be Eminem. They're not going to be Eminem no matter what they do. That's why we had this song. Oh, my God. Brilliant. Like a white kid. I love that. That's brilliant. Just shows almost any words could go to that song and it still sounds pretty cool. Yeah, absolutely.
Sienna, what's going on in... Oh, wait a minute. We're not doing that here, are we? No, it scared me. Yeah, it scared me. We're doing sports, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, are you ready to go, Woodsy? You know that. Let's do a little Woods on Sports and find out what's going on with the playoff situation and everything else. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Well, I'm going to go ahead and get to the story that you teased. The quarterback that's demanding a trade. Or says he's going to retire is Carson Palmer. 26 touchdowns last year, 20 interceptions. Says, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of playing in Cincinnati. I'm tired of playing with a losing team. So either trade me or I've made enough money to retire. And I'll retire. Okay, Woods. Yes. I know that you don't like this. He's under contract through 2014. He is? Yes. B-man. Yeah, if you're under contract.
Yeah. I don't want to play here. I want to play wherever I want to play. That voice gets me. Yeah. Put yourself in his situation. It would be terrible. It would be terrible. Marvin Lewis, they just re-signed him, and you're like, really? Retire. You've got to play with those personalities, Ocho and T.O. Shouldn't have signed a long-term deal. Yeah, I didn't know that. 2014, he's on a contract. I mean, if you're going to play in the NFL, you sign a contract. I mean, yeah, you can go to them and say, hey, listen, man, if you guys could trade me, I'd love to go somewhere else. That's different than you trade me or else. See, I don't even get that. Why go to them and say trade me if you just signed a contract until 2014? Right, exactly. Well, this is something I wanted to get into today, and I want to talk about Jay Cutler.
Jay Cutler is going to have a rough. Can I turn the music off? Because this is big enough. This is like a whole topic in and of itself. This is a whole thing. I got other stories here. I'm just going to put these really aside. Steelers, Packers is the Super Bowl. Steelers, Packers is the Super Bowl. The Steelers beat the Jets last night. Who cares? Let's get to the Packers-Bears game. Packers won 21-14. Aaron Rodgers ran for a touchdown, had the game-saving play where he threw a pick to Urlacher, tackled him. He was running for six points. Now, let's talk about Jay Cutler and his knee. Jay Cutler didn't look that great in the first half. Didn't look that bad, but didn't look that great. Very mediocre. The half ends. He leaves right before the half ends, and he walks off with two dudes. Trainers. Comes back. Plays one series in the NFC Championship game. Okay, he's hurt, right? He's hurt. Crutches? No crutches. Treatment on the sideline. For sure, you're going to be having treatment like the whole game. No treatment. Sitting with that dumb look on his face the whole second half while his team, his backup quarterback Todd Collins was terrible. So they put in third stringer Caleb Haney in the NFC Championship game.
Listen, I've seen Cutler get killed this year. I'm not really questioning his toughness. I'm kind of questioning his heart. If he's hurt, he's hurt. The thing that bothered me about Cutler, and it bothered a lot of people, his disinterest. He was just disinterested on the sideline. They're in the biggest game of their careers. Here's Cutler, huddled up on the sideline, pouting. not helping his third-string quarterback, not looking at game film with him, didn't have the earpiece in. Well, so you guys know I'm not a big Jay Cutler guy. So I don't even have to talk about him because here's what his contemporaries, guys that play in the same league as him. Yeah, who are we talking about? Here's what they said. Maurice Jones drew. All I'm saying is he can finish a game on a hurt knee. I've played the whole season on one. When the going gets tough, quit. Derek Brooks, former linebacker's buccaneer. Hey, there's no medicine for a guy with no guts and no heart. Darnell Dockett. If I'm on Chicago's team, Jay Cutler has to wait for me and the team to shower and get dressed and leave before he comes in the locker room. I can't believe Matt Barnes, Lakers forward. I can't believe Jay Cutler hasn't even tried to come back. This is to go to the Super Bowl. That's crazy. So then I thought, well, let's see what the fans have to say about Jeff Cutler. So I went to Twitter. Jay.
Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler. What did I say? Jeff. Oh, I said Jeff? Yeah. I did? Yeah. So I go to Twitter. Hey, Cutler, I have that tampon for your elbow. Oh, wow. Fans burning Cutler jersey in parking lot. If I'm Cutler, I return to the game even if I can't walk. One-legged Cutler is better than Collins and saves his rep in the process. Don't worry about Jay Cutler. He's got a cameo role in the vagina monologue starting tomorrow. Oh, my gosh. Breaking news. Cutler announces new endorsement with a website that allows status messages of 140 characters. It's called Quitter. And then the capper. Cutler is a P. Jay Cutler may never play in a Bears uniform again. Now, he has an MRI today. They're saying it may be. You're never playing a Bears uniform again. What are you talking about? They have him under contract. Do you think that those guys want him back? Yes. He quit on him. That was a very baby move. Maybe he's a baby. Listen, I know that Lovie Smith has come out in support already, and his teammates have come out in support as well. Well, Lovie, they asked him about it after the game, and he was getting a little testy, cut too. He hurt his knee, and he was out. All right? There's nothing else for me to tell you on that. I don't know exactly when it happened. He couldn't go, and we moved on. Let's go to some other questions. How about that? Here's the thing.
And they apparently the doctors suggested the team doctor suggested that he not go back in the game. And he took their advice and he didn't go back in the game. Then they asked Cutler about it. Cutler says, I know my body. I know that I had messed up my knee. I know my body. Now, I can tell you this. I was watching the game, saw him on the sideline sitting. Well, I saw him twice. Once I saw him sitting on the seat warmer. Nice and toasty. Nice and toasty with a jacket. Okay, the other time I saw him standing. And he was just standing there. He was just standing there. And I have to admit that in my mind, I thought, huh, that's weird. Yeah. Because it's the NFC Championship game. Yeah. Our very own Phillip Rivers, who is tough as nails, played... On a messed up Achilles. Torn ACL. Holy cow. Torn ACL. Donna McNabb played the Super Bowl with a broken ankle. Drew Brees had something. Didn't he with his nose? Maybe I just mixed him up. Roethlisberger had a broken nose. No. A couple weeks ago. Two weeks in a row. Drew Brees had surgery like a week before the Super Bowl last year, I thought. To remove his birthmark. T.O., in fairness to Cutler. Oh, his birthmark. No, fine. I mixed him up. In fairness to Cutler. I once ate a burrito with a bruised tooth.
T.O. played the Super Bowl with a broken leg. Broken leg. It's the Super Bowl. You do it. Ronnie Lott. Oh, my God. Yeah. Come on. Had the trainers cut his finger off. In the middle of a game. Not even the NFC Championship game. Cut his finger off. Cut his finger off. His pinky had been torn. Oh, my God. In a helmet. In a helmet. And the bone had broke up the very tip of the pinky. And they said, we got to take you out and we got to cast this. And he goes, cut it off. Cut it off. Did it ever come back? No. It doesn't grow back. Well, I thought maybe they put it in ice. It's not a caterpillar. It's not a worm. It's not a worm. Tip of his pinky is gone. Cut it off. I'm playing in this game, and this is an important game. And by the way, he went back out there, made about a jillion more tackles. That is legendary. Jay Cutler. That's legendary. You're a wuss. I'm sorry. Even if you were hurt and you knew your body, fine. Fake it. Fake it. Make your teammates carry you off the field. Cry. But why fake it? Just stay. Or stay. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you really think you need to come out, limp. How about trying a limp? He was walking to the locker room like Mike and I would walk to the locker room. Like, you're just walking? It wasn't this real. No crutches, no limp, no, you know, grabbing his. Nothing, dude. I mean nothing. I can't imagine after the beating he took this year, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened in his head.
He quit. He quit. Well, how great did the third string quarterback do? I don't even remember his name. He did great. I mean, he threw a couple of picks, but he did pretty good. He had a third string in such a big game. He did good. The guy has thrown for 66 yards in the NFL before that game. And he came in and he led the team down. He led them to a score. And he almost, I mean, they were right there. Yeah. Threw a pick. I think they're doing an MRI on Cutler today. They are. And what if the results come back? I know. He's dead. Like I said, if you're the Bears, you bring him back. I don't. I don't at all. I do not. He lost the team. I said this to Woodsy before the show started because we were talking about it before the show even started. And I said, I'll bet that this is what Jay Cutler will always be remembered for. Not only that, I believe that that will be like football legend. That'll be his bit. We'll be talking about it. It was historically bad, you know? Yeah, absolutely. So we will monitor, believe me, we will be monitoring that situation. And, you know, probably the most important news story of the weekend is this hard-hitting interview that I got with the new commissioner of the brand new San Diego Adult Baseball Association. Why don't you go ahead and hit cut five for me? Yes, stop it.
So I'm standing here with Ben Brough. Ben is the new commissioner of the San Diego Baseball Alliance. Ben, why the new league? Basically, we just wanted to start something that's going to be positive for adults and for kids. We wanted something that adults could play ball on high school fields, but also where the money went towards the high school programs and they were able to better grow from it. That's right. That's awesome, man. Well, the fans want to know, you didn't have your best game today. You were sick. You're ridiculous. But you still got it out four innings for us. And how do you think the Crows are going to do in this league? Crows are going to do well. They're definitely going to be competitive, and I definitely look to see them in a championship series come June. What? What? What? I think it's funny that it's one year, and you still haven't learned how to use the recorder. What do you mean? That audio is perfect. That audio is perfect. That audio is perfect. It's perfect. Let me ask you a question. I was just finished the game. I was tired.
So I'm standing here with Ben Ruff. Ben is the new commissioner of the San Diego Baseball Alliance. That audio is perfect. You're like talking like that. No, it's perfect. It doesn't sound like that. It doesn't sound like that. So I'm standing here with Ben Ruff. Really? It sounds perfect. It sounds perfect. Did he say that they have kids leagues? No, but the money goes to help the high school field that we play on. They're kids. I mean, they're in high school. I want to get Sagey playing. You do? What? I play softball. She's five months old. Well, you know, when she gets to be like five years old, that's when I started. You're going to have her start playing softball? I want her to. Really? Yeah, and I actually heard that the La Jolla League is kind of falling apart, so my mom said, don't worry, I'll get back on the board. Oh, wow. And I'm going to raise it up because Todd played baseball too, and he said he would coach, and so it's... You know, I want Sage to play. Jeez, you guys are already thinking. Why would I not think about that? I guess you could. She's going to be an amazing athlete. I think we have her on the line. Is this Sagey? Hello? Hi, Sagey. Hi, baby. Hi, mom. Hi. I'm playing softball. What? I'm not playing softball. Are you Ellen DeGeneres? I'm not playing softball. You're only five months old. She's your mom. I played softball, Sage.
It's a great thing for you. You don't need to play. I'm not playing softball. Sage, let me talk to your grandmother, Sienna's mom. Nanny. Let me talk to Ansa. Hello. Hi, Ansa. Hi, Mike. How are you? How are you? I'm good. Hey, is your daughter Waverly around? Let me talk to her. Hi, Waverly. Hi, Mike. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Good. It's good to talk to you. Maybe you played softball. Yeah, absolutely. And you liked it. And mom coached. Waverly, let me talk to your sister, Avalon. Let me talk to Avalon. Oh, gosh, we know that. Jay, please do not ever play that again. Hello? Is this Avalon? Yeah. Hi, Avalon. How are you? Yes, Mike. Yeah, it's Mike. Hi, Mike. How are you? I'm good. So you've got an opinion on this, I'm sure, right? Avalon, you played softball and you were great. Let me talk to your niece. Let me talk to your niece, Sage. Hello? Hi, Sage. Sage is five months old. Sagey, you're going to be really good. I was good. Dad played in the minor leagues and he'll coach. That's right. What do you do? Are you watching Varsity Blues? Yeah, what did you just say to me? What did you just say? I don't lie. Sage, I have a great life. Sage, let me talk to your grandmother. Nanny, hello? Hi, Aunt Seth. I don't know what you think about it. Tell you what, we'll find out in just a minute. First, let me talk to Waverly. Stop it. Hi, Waverly. How are you? It's good to talk to you. Is Avalon there?
Hi, Avalon. How you doing? Hey, Sage, you still around? Let me talk to her. Hey, Sage. Hi, Mike. Hi. Hey, listen. It's been nice talking to you, but before we go, be rude and not say goodbye to your grandmother. Let me talk to Anza. Hi, Anza. Just wanted to say goodbye. Let me say goodbye to Waverly. Hi, Waverly. We're going to say goodbye. How you doing? Let me say goodbye to your sister, Avalon. Hi, Avalon. How are you? All right. We just wanted to say goodbye. All right. Well, let me talk to Sage. Bye, baby. Bye. No, there we go. Wow. They all sound alike. Yeah, they do. They all are exactly alike. My mom's probably sitting there holding the baby. My sisters are getting ready for school like, what? They all sound the same. I mean, Sienna, her mother, her sisters, they all talk like this. Her baby cries like this. Her baby. She does. I'm going to find audio or just get her. Mom. Mom. She doesn't say mom, obviously. I know. All right, it's time. For us to talk about. Oh. You guys, I'm going to get belayed. Brace yourselves. It's okay. Women, please. Where'd you hear it? Where'd you hear her to do it? I don't really remember. Freaking Jay probably told her. No, no, Jay didn't. I heard it through a few people years ago, and I knew that it was something that existed, so I looked it up online, and I saw that, yes, it does exist, but no one I had spoken to about it recently, no one knew about it.
When we come back, I'm going to tell you what Sienna had in her bra. Women, please help me. Defend me. The entire show on Friday. In fact, I saw her take it out, throw it away, presumably to put a new one in. I'll tell you next. All right, so we're going to be telling you about this thing Sienna did. It's pretty wacky. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. LLB's out today because she had to fly back east. She'll be back tomorrow. Sienna is our news girl. Jay is our producer. And our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. Let's see. Okay. Check out our guy, Jared, at createyourdesignonline.com. Who is, by the way, designing our new sticker. Yeah. Which is going to be real cool. Insane. Never seen anything like it. Very, very cool.
What is the boing? We're excited about it. Oh, got it. Okay. Sienna stuck cabbage in her bra. Oh, boy. Just right out there. Okay. Let me explain myself. Please. I had heard, I mean, years ago, before I knew anything about having a baby or what happens to your body after you have a baby. I remember hearing, I don't even remember who, I just knew that this was something that happened when you're trying to stop breastfeeding. You put cabbage there and it will help somehow. Yeah. Help what? Well, now I know it helps with engorgement. My kid was immediately both put their heads down. I can't say engorgement. It does? Yes! You guys, when you breastfeed, now the reason I'm stopping, let me just say this because it was a really hard thing for me, is because I've had postpartum insomnia and I needed to start taking medicine to help me sleep. Got it. And I can't be taking that in breastfeeding, so I've stopped. I'm stopping. She's very upset about it. I am really upset about it because I wanted to go a lot longer. So now I've been doing this cabbage bit.
This cabbage thing. I asked my mom. I was like, Mom, have you ever heard of this? She's like, no. And I was like, okay, well, I'm trying it. I don't care. I looked up online, like, does cabbage help stop breastfeeding? And I learned that it does help with engorgement. Because your boobs are used to, you know, every three hours meeting your child. I'm eight. Yeah, me too. Well, let me. Cool salad. Let me pull the curtain back a little bit more. Jay read the recap. I knew. Jay, I'm the first one here in the morning. Jay comes in after me. And I just felt uncomfortable being in here knowing there was cabbage in my bra. So I told Jay. He's a father of four. I didn't think he would overreact. And, of course, he acted like you guys, like an 8-year-old, and freaked out. There was cabbage in my bra. And so he said to Mike, you need to read the recap. So he did, but he found something else that I'd written. I, after the show, was sitting on the couch. And Jay goes, hey. Did you ever see that cabbage in her bra? And I go, what do you mean, cabbage? And I thought, I'm like, it's Jay. So he's like, ah, she's got two bits in her bra. And I'm like, oh, she's got money. And she reaches in her bra in front of me and goes, and pulls out this giant, obviously, leaf of cabbage. Well, by that time, it was wilted. Yeah, it was all gnarly. And I go.
That's real cabbage. Yeah. Hey, cabbage boobs. What is... Do you have cabbage right now? No. Did it work? I think so. Because I don't need it today. Okay, okay, okay. You don't need the cabbage today. Did you have to go to the grocery store? Todway? Can I get these tampons? No, he had to get some other stuff. And I said, babe, will you get cabbage? He's like, what is your deal with this cabbage? It's nuts. And I said, I don't care. My boobs hurt. You're going to get it because it's going to help. Can you imagine he's like looking for the right cabbage? The biggest cabbage you can find. Do you have any mutant cabbages here? Do you have any cabbage the size of a Volkswagen? Oh, no one's calling to help me. Nope. No women know about this. Google it. Dudes, have your women ever had a baby and stuck cabbage in their boobs? Okay. Well, okay. When you're, I'm going to explain this. Don't act like children. I'm going to. Don't act like children. I'm going to. When you're breastfeeding, you're used to pumping or pumping or feeding like every three hours because that's how your body is. Sure. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been having a sleep problem. So I've been training my body to produce less and less. And then when you stop, it doesn't matter. You're used to, you know, expressing milk. And so my.
boobs were very sore and gigantic more gigantic than normal because you have big jugs and I was like oh my gosh oh my gosh like they're hurting they're hurting and so I looked up the cabbage thing and it helps with engorgement and it did it was on they.com yeah and then I put the cabbage on each boob in my bra like let it cup my boob you know and notice I grab my boob every time I talk about this great lucky cabbage tell us again And so I did, and it immediately, like, calmed them. Soothing relief. It was like aloe. It was cold and, like, heavenly. And so you did. You leave them in until they wilt, and then you take them out, and you do it, like, twice a day. And I'm telling you, I'm on day five right now, and I'm almost done. So why aren't you cabbaged up? Because I don't need it. I'm not engorged. Bring on the big ones. Easy there, cabbage teas. Cabbage teas. It's incredible. Incredible. I know. The things that you'll do. I mean, I just feel like I just don't care anymore. Like, I don't care. This is Sienna for Cabbage Breasts. I've just developed a new product called Cabbage Breasts. I grow my own organic cabbage. And I sell it to you, the consumer. And what it does is it helps you.
To have the greatest cabbage boobs not engorged ever. Not engorged. And here's a jingle that I wrote about it. Don't forget. Cabbage boobs will go away when you tit your cabbage boobs. When you have your cabbage boobs, you won't be engorged anymore. Anymore. Oh, my God. I'm telling you, I don't care anymore. I just gave up. You could do a, like a. Like a more serious. Let's do a ballad of cabbage boobs. And like a more serious commercial. Yeah. You have swelled up boobies today. You've got a simple answer for you ladies. Oh my gosh. You put a piece of cabbage where it counts. And that's how you figure it out.
It worked. My boobs feel great now. I'm going back to normal. So you're suggesting cabbage boobs? Yes. It worked. Whatever. If you have to stop, put them on there. M1 Peggy. M1 Peggy from San Diego. Do you know about cabbage boobs? I had to do the same thing. Yes! Wow! That's the only other person I've spoken to that's ever done it. Vindication. Did it work? Yeah, I was a surrogate, and obviously I wasn't going to breastfeed, and so I had heard about it and did it, and it worked. I had to do it for like a week and a half. Yeah. You do? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I stopped. Should I continue? It works better with potatoes and carrots. I had to go out and buy the big cabbage, too.
I think there's only one size of it. Can you imagine if Sienna's husband Todd went out to get the cabbage and came back and she's like, it's too small. The cabbages were too small. Is that baby cabbage? What is this, a cabbage pasty? Is this a cabbage patch kid? Yeah, it's a cabbage patch kid. Don't anybody... Oh, man. That's like a cabbage bikini on her. M1 Angela from Oceanside. Hi. Are you a cabbage patcher? Are you on team cabbage patch? Are you cabbage teas too? Is it bad that I only did it for a couple days? Alright, thank you. You guys, this is a part of the circle of life. Let's talk about periods. Oh my gosh.
I'm seeking guidance, and you are not letting me have it. I tried it, too. I used cucumber, and I found that it worked very well, and it refreshed me. It refreshed me. Okay, well, how about when I threw my cabbage in the trash? Woods took it out and smelled it and put it up to his face. I looked at Woods. Of course I did. Why did you do that? I looked at Woods. I was grossed out. Yeah. It was so upsetting to see him do it. He used it like it was like a tissue. But I didn't actually touch my face to it. But I like to do things to get a rise out of people in here. It was so gross. I was like, are you kidding me with that? He took it out of the trash. I pulled it right out of the trash. M1 Michelle from San Diego. Hey, how are you? Good. Okay, so when I, my daughter was about 10 months old, I had to go in for a radical hysterectomy. And I was nursing up until then. After surgery, I'm not kidding you, I could carry a major surgery, I could carry less. I said to my OBGYN, just bring me a pump. All I need is a pump. And he refused because I couldn't pump, I couldn't feed anymore. So the nurse came in and they brought these big, gigantic sleeves of cabbage. I'm not kidding. And I sat in a hospital bed with cabbage for like three days straight. And it smelled horrible.
It's so weird. I didn't have an issue with smell. No, yours didn't smell. I didn't smell at all. It's quite lovely, actually. Oh, thank you. But the whole thing is just weird. I don't know. I will never have cabbage. Again? Without thinking of it. I asked him to make it that night. I'll never think of coleslaw. You guys, it doesn't matter. It was painful. I was in pain. It was so sore. I was like, I need to do something. Maybe take an Advil. Yeah, maybe I do. Did you tell Kim that I did that? Jay? Of course not. For supper. Don't you mind? I'm desperate. I have a desperate haircut. I was going to email your wife and see if she had any idea what I should do. Dear Rebecca, have you ever put cabbage on your teas? I was going to say that. Word for word. Maybe Rebecca did do it. Maybe Kim did it. You guys just don't know.
Wow. All I know is I'm going to make Jamie do it just because I want to see him do it. Be like, hey, throw a couple of pieces of cabbage on your table. Poor Todd. There was cabbage in every trash can of our house. He'd walk in the bathroom like, oh, cabbage. Oh, wow. Look at that. It's another cabbage. Hey, babe. That's your cabbage on the pillowcase. He knows way too much about me ever since Sage has been born. I bet. Oh, man. It's a completely different relationship. Every man finds out. So much about their wife. A lot of men start drinking. Like, yeah, I know it's my third bottle of wine. It's no big deal. I'm stressed out at work. It's so beautiful. Oh, man. That's amazing. 570-1949. Thank you for defending me, ladies. Is there a number? Yeah, thank you. I don't feel crazy now. All you cabbage cups out there. You guys are going to be walking around and see a hot girl at Subway or something and be like,
Ooh, little do you know she has cabbage in her bra. Oh, my gosh. Cabbage. Hillary is on the line. Yes! Hi, Hill. I 100% wore cabbage in my bra to work. Oh, my gosh. See, everyone, you do it. You don't care. This is our midday DJ, Hillary, and she did it? Wow. When I had my daughter, I was on Star 94.1 at the time, and I... When I was, like, done nursing her, oh, 100%, I bought a big old head of cabbage. Organic, probably. Organic, for sure. Oh, yeah. Guaranteed, guaranteed. Put it in my bra and wore it to work, and I brought cabbage with me so I could, like, change it up. Oh, my gosh. Well, Hillary, where did you hear the cabbage lore? it online because I researched stuff like crazy. Me too. When I was done nursing our daughter and I was...
It really hurts. You know, that's funny. That's funny, you guys, because I've actually done a lot of research on engorged breasts online and I've never seen that. So you're saying there's pictures online. Oh, I feel so much better. I thought I was nuts because my mom thought I was nuts. Everyone was like, what? Oh, it's an age old tradition. It started back in Dublin years ago when the girls, the young missies, would find themselves with the engorged breasts after giving. And so one of them said to the other, why don't we try a piece of cabbage on our yarns and see if that'll take care of the engorgement. Try corn and beef first. Yeah, well, we tried all the things first. Potatoes and, you know, all the night crawlers. Nightshades. Nightshades. We tried all the nightshades at first, you know, the potatoes and all the root vegetables. And then finally we came upon the cabbage and we realized, oh, I took them. Gorgement right down, didn't it? You do whatever helps because it hurts. It hurts so bad. Yes, it does take the gorgement right down. It's also a cure for Cialis problems. I'll have questions for you when you come in today since Mike won't let me ask him over the air. Let me tell you. Listen, I appreciate your guys' womanhood and stuff.
Some things you guys just get to keep secrets. You know, you guys have secrets with each other. All right, sure. You know what I mean? We'll talk. Thank you. I can't wait for that. Let's do that. You guys talk. Thank you, Hillary. Bye, guys. Bye. So M1JW knows why it works. Oh, cool. M1JW from San Diego. Go ahead. Hi. There's an enzyme in cabbage that's an anti-inflammatory. And that's why the La Leche Club recommends that you use the cabbage. Yeah, you know, Advil has that. It's anti-inflammatory. Anti-inflammatory. It's called ibuprofen. It's crazy. It works. I'm going to put some of my pitching arm. La Leche League is like a whole breastfeeding organization of mothers who will provide. That play baseball? It's in the La Leche League. They will provide breast milk to people who, like, say, adopt or, you know, can't. produce it themselves. I used to play in La Leche League. Isn't that the team that beat Woods? Yeah. Absolutely. M1 Mama from San Diego. Hi. Hi. Well, I was talking to my husband about this because we have a new baby and if I don't get a chance to nurse, I definitely get engorgement and it totally hurts. And I have, by the way, Sienna, totally heard about the cabbage thing on Team Cabbage. Yes. Me too.
My husband suggested that the way we compare it for men and women, women with engorgement in their boobs, is blue balls, guys. Oh, wow. It's the same feeling that you need that release, but unfortunately we don't get the option you guys have. Wiener time. Brilliant, Jay. Brilliant time. Oil. Wiener time. It hurts, though. It really does. I can't, you know, you do whatever you can. Well, next time that happens, I'll try some cabbage. I'll just run down to KFC and get some coleslaw. Is there some visual? But we can't express it or else it will... Can I get a two-pound bucket of coleslaw, please? You know the thing that you put the chicken in? Can you just take that bucket and fill it full of coleslaw? Just fill her up. Mikey, you only need a three-ounce size. You know what, Jay? You need a long bucket. Just fill her up. Did you say that you want me to put the coleslaw?
In a bucket? Yeah, just fill her right up if you could. The bucket that we put the chicken in? Well, yeah. I had a date last night, and it didn't really go that well. It didn't go south. I understand that, sir, but we don't even know what to charge you. Whatever. 50 bucks. It doesn't matter. I need cabbage. I need it now. I know, but if we fill a chicken bucket up with coleslaw, it'll be like – well, hang on a second. I'm adding this up. That would be $114.55. Deal. I'm in. Oh, throw it in a two-piece, by the way. Let's throw it in a two-piece. Mike. Eat my cheese. Oh, my God. All I see is the visual of Mike. That's the coleslaw. My wife coming home going, what are you doing? No. Let's try something new, buddy. Oh, my God. What? I'm like, what? What? You've never seen a man soak in coleslaw?
You're stuck in it. Oh my goodness. When we come back, we are going to get to hear the behind the scenes of Jay recording a commercial. Hi, this is Jay. Hi. Hello, everyone. This is Jay. On 94.0. Oh, damn it. Cut. Cut. Greg, cut. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, there's some breaking news right now out of the Moscow airport. Actually, an explosion has occurred at the Domodivo airport. It's in Moscow. And the government officials, FBI, everyone's looking into it. 31 people have died, over 100 people killed. And what they think it is right now is, I'm sorry.
The website just closed. A suicide bomber, they think, is the reason for this. And actually, it was a handmade bomb that was stuffed with metal objects, which increased the shrapnel from the explosion. It was really bad. You'll see it all over the news right now, breaking news. And it was in the baggage claim area is where it happened. So, like I said, about 130 people injured, 31 people announced dead so far. Wow. In Moscow. That's unbelievable. Really, really sad. What's going on in sports? Well, there's an update on Jay Cutler. I got it on NBC Sports. It says he does have an MCL tear. However, they're going to see if he needs surgery or if it's minor enough that it can heal on its own. Still can play. Still can handle yourself better. No? I don't know, man. You tear your MCL. You still help out your third stringer. Still help him on the sidelines. You're still into the game, aren't you? Shouldn't you be? You should want your team to win. Absolutely. You should be involved as involved as you can with a frigging brace on your leg, I think. Yeah. That's just me. I mean, my pitcher went out yesterday. He had the flu through four innings. Good man. Tough. Gutsy. How'd he play? Pitched well. We sucked. Did he? Yeah. He did hit well? When he left, we were down 5-3. We lost 14-3. Oh, wow. That's a lot. That's a lot. These guys were professional hitters. In fact, there was a professional.
Baseball player out there. And he was four for five with two run over in the first. It's ridiculous. Double-A center fielder for the Padres. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was a real treat. It's fine. Fair. And he was – this dude was hitting seeds all over the place, man. It was just a real treat. 570-1949 is our number. We're going to – Here are the commercial outtakes from Jay, but I have to hear what this is. M1 Glenn from Solana Beach. Are you there? Yeah. What happened? I'm here. What happened to you? So, you know, I had people over for the game over the weekend, and I found out that someone snapped. Huh? What? Wow. I know they know they did it. I know they know they did it. 100. Because they had to balance it right back on.
Oh, I know what you're talking about. Okay. Yeah, it's where it bolts down. Well, yeah, but I had to find out the hard way. Did you slide off it? I did a lot more than slide. Oh, no. You pull the pants down and you go... Oh, my God. Mike just fell on the ground. Oh, no. To the webcam for that. Wait, so why didn't you say something when you fell? They were already gone? Oh, they were gone by that point. They were gone by that point. One of your friends broke your toilet, then walked out and was like, yeah! We're out of the cake! There you go! Attackers! Didn't say a word. Didn't say a word. Sat there, enjoyed the game, ate some of your chips. Yeah, some queso. Hey man, you got any more beers left? We've all done stuff. Didn't say a word. Oh yeah. Didn't say a word. I kind of like, I really don't, like I don't want to be that jerky guy, but I kind of want to get to the bottom of it, but I don't know. Literally. Are these like. You literally want to get to the bottom of it. Did you have a party or were there just like a couple guys over? No, it was like a party. It was a pretty big party. I would. People there.
This is what I would do 100%. I would email everybody and go, which one of you clowns broke my toilet? They're not going to say it. If they didn't say it then, they're not going to say it now. They might write it back. They might get shamed. It's not like they did it on purpose. No, but I would still say, which one of you clowns broke the toilet? How awkward would that? You have to walk out into a room full of people. Hey, look what I got. I tell him after. I would go up to the guy and I would go, hey, dude, I messed your toilet seat up. It's embarrassing that it's a toilet, though. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't either. You know why? I wouldn't. Because if you have that friend, it just depends on who the friend is. Because we all have friends that are like, hey! Mikey just farted! You have that guy. And there's like chicks there and they're like, ew, you creep. Tell him after. Text him after the party. I would feel like the fatty that broke the toilet. He wouldn't want to say anything. Even if you weren't fat, you would feel gross that you broke the toilet. Thanks for coming. I'm glad you're here. What's the matter? Do we not have enough pizza? Do you want me to get some more pizzas? No, I don't need to get enough pizza. What do you want? What's the matter?
I'm really sorry. I have to tell you something. Okay, it's okay. What is it? I ran into your bathroom. Okay. Did you clog the toilet? No. Oh, okay. Thank God. But I guess I'm too heavy. And I... Oh, my God. It breaks my heart. What'd you do? I... You know the pegs? Yeah, I know the pegs. The pegs that hold the toilet seat down into the porcelain bag. Porcelain. Well, I'm heavy. I know. Yeah. And when I was getting up, I broke one of the pegs. I broke one of the pegs that holds down the seat. You broke my toilet? No, I broke the seat. Hey! Chub just broke the toilet seat. Don't tell anybody. I'm telling everybody. Don't tell anybody. Chub just broke the toilet. He goes running out with a bag of Doritos. Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35 minutes. Let me tell you what I did in college one time. Wait. What's he going to do? Glenn. You got to send an email. Glenn, send an email. Yeah. Yeah.
Send an email? Yes. I'd forget about it. Just go buy a new seat. Are they expensive? No, they're not cheap. They're not bad. I'd whittle one. That's annoying, though, to have to fix, and no one told you. I'd be mad. I couldn't admit it. No. I don't blame them. Whoever did it is humiliated. In college, I came home one night, and I had a few pops, and I went to sit down on the toilet, and I heard snap, and I broke. The toilet seat cracked and it pinched my butt. So I went to my roommate and I was like, hey, dude, I broke the toilet. So you know what we did instead of fixing it? We just wrapped toilet paper around the crack. But sometimes the toilet paper would wear away. Thank you for the call, Glenn. Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. You would sit. on paper that was full of your roommate's filth. Yeah! The seat is full of it as well. Something is way grosser about toilet paper. Paper, dude. That's so... Same. It isn't the same. It's like using the same tissue.
It is, man. We did it. But you had to protect your butt. Why didn't you put, like, duct tape? It's a good question. It's a really good question. I don't know why. I don't know why. It was really easy when you wrap it up and you sit down and do your business. But, you know, sometimes you lean forward and then you would lean back and it would pinch you. And you're like, oh, my God. I've been pinched before. It hurt. One of the most painful things ever. I had a friend that I will not name. And, ooh, that was my throat. And. Scared me. And this friend broke three chairs. Oh, no. Because he was overweight. And the first time it happened, he was able to laugh it off. Okay, he was. The second time that it happened.
It was a rocking chair. A rocking chair? Oh, no. It's a shallow howl. And it was... Okay. It was a rocking chair. And he sat in it. And it didn't just break. It completely collapsed. It exploded. Okay, so he... It smashed underneath him. And there was the girl that lived there. was kind of like L.O.B., extremely funny, very funny and witty and quick. And she said this, which wasn't true, but she just wanted to, like, take advantage of the moment. She goes, that was my grandmother's auntie. What a bee, dude. And it wasn't. They bought it at, like, a garage sale. She goes, oh my gosh, that's my grandmother's antique rocking chair. And he got up and walked straight out of the apartment. And she was like, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. What a mean girl. Maybe you just stand everywhere you go if that's happening. I did it. I did it. You did it? I did it. That wasn't you. That wasn't me. Oh. But I did it once. I did it once. I did it once. Broken a chair? Where were you? I was at my program director's house.
Gareth. In San Jose. Gareth. And I was so fat. I was so overweight. And he invited me over for dinner. And I went over. Is this a real story? Yes, I swear. Oh, it's hurting my heart. Come on. Oh, you monster. And I sat at the dinner table. Oh, God. And you heard, and he goes, oh, that's happened. Don't even worry about it. That's happened. Mortified. Mortifying. Crack. You know what, man? That's happened before. Oh, my God. What would L.O.B.'s face look like? What would L.O.B.'s face look like if she was here right now? It would be like as if somebody had tied a belt around her arm.
given her an injection of heroin and then let the belt loose. She would have loved that story. That's probably why you're telling it when she's not here. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't say it. He won't look at her when he says stuff like that. She delights. Like nobody. She delights. You'll see her bury her head. But I've like house sat before and the dog may have made a little piddle. On a couch cushion, and I tried to clean it, and I flipped it and never told them. I've done stuff like that. Oh, yeah. I've done plenty of cover-up in my day. Plenty of cover-up. Speaking of LOB. What? LOB and BFMC, her boyfriend, Matt Commerce, and Sienna and her husband, Todd, they're not going to come to my Super Bowl party because the Pittsburgh Steelers are in the Super Bowl. Lauren may go for a little bit, I think.
Yeah, I think she said that they'll go for half. But my, yeah, I'm not allowed to leave my house. Which has me really sad. Sorry. And so I wrote the Super Bowl Blues. Super Bowl Blues. This is me on the call. Congrats, Steelers fans. You guys are the world champs again. And the game hasn't even been played yet. And I know that they'll win. Goodbye L-O-B-N Goodbye to Todd and Sienna Cause they ain't coming to my house now For the big Super Bowl party Don't forget B-F-M-C And it seems to me that the Jets were there But they just weren't gonna win Cause the Steelers were so good that They just took it Never had a chance. And it's all about me.
There it is. So sorry, Mike. So you started drinking again over the weekend, apparently. Yeah, believe it or not, just came up with those lyrics. Yeah. Really? Yeah, didn't write. No kidding. You're good at that, though. You're just off the cuff there. You can kind of tell. That's what makes it good. Oh, yeah. I love it. Party. And don't forget BFMC. And don't forget BFMC. I want to learn how to do that. I'll come up with all kinds of stage songs. Oh, man. Hey, if there's any M1s listening right now that are into something really nerdy or dorky, that, like, your co-workers don't know about, I want you to call and tell us. Like, I'm talking... Like origami. Yeah. Like, that your co-workers would be like, you make freaking origami? I'd do it with Jenna. We have, like, a thing. Really? You guys make origami? You're a nerd. Yeah, no, we'll make...
I think it's origami. I can make little things out of paper. Turns out it's pot stickers is what she's talking about. She makes rice! And then we put fish on top of it. No, it's called sushi. No, it's paper that you fold all the different ways, and I can actually make a little balloon and blow air in it, and it will swell up, and you can play with it out of paper. Oh, boy. Is that origami? I thought origami was like the little bushes. Animal shapes. Paper animals. Yeah, paper animals and whatnot. I made a picture frame out of paper. Oh, wow. Out of the book. Do you know what Rebecca does that nobody knows? Oh, wow. Now we are. Knits. Really? A lot of people knit. With yarn and everything. Really? That's cool. Yeah. Is it? Two sticks? That's what Lauren wants to do. That was her New Year's resolution. Yeah, Rebecca knits. Has she made you anything before? She did once. What was it? Slippers. One slipper? Slippers. Oh, slippers. Do you wear them? No, they... Yeah, it was years ago. All my kids did it, and Kim. They'd do scarves. I had to think about it. Yeah, we called that summer vacation in my house. That's right. A lot of families would go to Florida or Disney World, and I taught my kids how to knit. What am I going to do? Go buy a Ralph Lorenz? I ain't going to buy a Ralph Lorenz. It costs about $100,000. I have my daughters just make it. Taught my kids how to knit. Want to hear Jay's outtake spot? No, no. We should just pass on that. Jay goes and records commercials, and we just said, listen.
We want to hear what that sounds like. We want to hear the creative process. Hey, guys. It's Jay from The Mikey Show. The game is almost here. And if you're like me, you're going to have... No, wait. We have to set this up better. I don't think we do. No, we do. I think that speaks for itself. Yeah, I think that speaks for itself. But this is like the rough take, I mean, that we took before it was edited. It's just raw audio. I should get to explain. I was given copy that I didn't write. And he had to read it. But I kind of put my own spin on it. Your own southern twang, if you will. I'll twang you. Hey guys, it's Jay from the Mikey Show. The game is almost here. And if you're like me, you're going to have... Hey guys, it's Jay from the Mikey Show. And the game is almost here. And if you're like me, you're going to be hanging with your buddies. Ready to dive into all those great tasting football party foods like buffalo wings. Maybe read that a little more. Yeah.
Nachos, chili ribs, dips. Chili ribs? What are chili ribs? What are chili ribs? Cucumber peppers. Pizza shrimp. Carrot limes. Orange chocolate. Vanilla pubes. Gross. Damn it. Did I just say pubes? Did I just say vanilla pubes? I meant cubes. Vanilla cubes. Vanilla cubes. I meant celery steak is what I meant. Celery steak. Celery steaks. You like chili ribs? Dude, do you know what chili ribs are? No. I combined two words. Even Bloody Mary's. On the game. On the. Uh-oh. I wrote this. On the day of the big game, you'll need to go to. Gosh. On the day of the big game, you'll need to get the big flavor. He's upset that they had the audacity to write the phrase on the day of the game. I can't believe it. Who's supposed to be able to say the day of the game? Who's supposed to be able to say the day of the game? Who is supposed to be on the day of the game? On the day of the game. The day of the game. The day of the game. The day of the game. The day of the game.
Dig it again. Satisfy your friends. On the day of the big game, you'll need to go big. Okay, here we go. On the day of the big game, you'll need to go big to satisfy your hungry friends. And that's where the killer flavor of friends. He said satisfy your friends. I know the look on the guy's face that's recording this. Yeah. Because it's his job to piece it all together. Yeah, it's a beating. And he's looking at Jay like, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Red hot sauce comes in. I'm telling you. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I'm putting it on everything. Wings. I am telling you. I am telling you. I am telling you. Frank's Red Hot Wings will make your chili ribs taste like chili. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Chili ribs. Burgers, nachos, ribs, pizzas, and dips. That's a take. Are we good? Hey, it's Jay from the Mikey Show. So maybe you just checked out your man cave. He can get about nine. Hey, it's Jay from the Mikey Show. So maybe we just. So maybe we. I'm supposed to say maybe we just eat. I can't say maybe we just eat.
Hey, it's Jay from The Mikey Show. So maybe you just tricked out your man cave with a new super-sized TV, and now you need to make sure the halftime munchies can pass the buddy test. Right from the paper. Hey, even if you're no culinary genius, it's easy to prepare and serve your favorite food. Oh, he's on a roll. When you check. Okay, here we go. That all goes together, apparently. Okay. Take 90. Hey, even if you're no culinary genius, it's easy to prepare and serve your favorite football foods when you check out FranksRedHot.com. There you'll find super simple recipes to make great tasting food game day. Like Frank's famous buffalo. Tongue cluster. I'm going to try it again without the marijuana. Okay, here we go. Take two. There you'll find simple recipes to make great tasting food game day. What? You'll find great. There you'll find. Does that make sense? No, it doesn't. There you'll find great tasting food to make game day. I think it makes sense. No, it doesn't. That's a wrap. That's a wrap. Can you piece this together? There you'll find super simple recipes to make great tasting food for your friends on game day. Hang on. We need a break. Let's go to break. Hang on. Hang on a second. Where's Will or Chris? Will, this is giving me a hankering. I am so hungry just working in here. Order me up some chili ribs.
Order me up some chili ribs. Give me some coleslaw to soak my, you know. And then... Frank's famous... There's a lot of F's in this. Frank's famous buffalo wings. Frank's red hot buffalo chicken dip. Frank's red hot buffalo pizza. Man, that sounds awesome. I'm ready for kickoff. Looks like these delicious, easy to prepare Frank's red hot pizza. Oh, my God. That's my favorite thing. That's my favorite thing. Incredible. I want to hear Jay doing commercials forever. Sales department. I don't want any more endorsements. Give them all to Jay. It's worth it. I just want to hear it. This is Jay for Charmin toilet paper. Hey, let's play Name That Tune, 570-1949. Call us right now, and you've got to pick a horse. It's going to be me, Sienna, and Woods. L.O.B.'s out today, so we'll get it going. And there's something else I haven't even told you yet that's a secret that I know, and it's about Woods, and we'll tell you. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show, and I'm 40.
Woodsy is 35. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien's 30, and we call her L.O.B. She'll be back tomorrow. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. Jay is 47. He's our producer. And our phone screener is Will. It's Will. Let's do a little Name That Tune. Call us right now, 570-1949, if you want to play Name That Tune. And it's really easy. We're going to be given some categories. You pick a horse, we'll play for you. You're going to pick me, Sienna, or Woods. And the way that it works, what's the theme today, Jay? Bald or shaved heads. Bald or shaved heads. Okay, bald or shaved heads. So we will hear it. We have to yell out our name. And if we get it wrong, we get a point deducted. Jay's the final worry. That's right. What he says goes. Whether we disagree with it or not doesn't matter.
It's immaterial. It's immaterial. Whatever Jay says. Playing for Interpol tickets. There we go. Up first. First to select. M1 Kiko from San Diego. Who do you want? I got Tiana. There you go. Hang in line. Good move. M1 Chris from San Diego. Who do you want? Mikey. There you go. Hang in line. And M1 Sticky Fingers from San Diego. You've got Woods. You're going to Interpol. Stop. We'll see. Hang on. Sticky fingers. All right. Bald or shaved heads? Bald or shaved heads. Here we go. Here we go. If it'll split right now, we're going to miss the train. Come on. He does this. Mikey. Bruce Willis from Unbreakable. No, it's never from Unbreakable, but it doesn't matter. I was waiting on a song. So was I. Is it movies? No, it's just everything. All right. Feast. Bald head or shaved head people. Here we go.
I was involved in the choosing of these chairs for the model in the makeup area. Woods. Howie Mandel. Oh, wow. Wow. It was tough today. Here we go. Might be. Might be doesn't sell stock. Woods. Ben Diesel. Now you're getting it. Oh, great. It's movies. Woods is going to know them all. Here we go. But then I'll come your way. Woods. Telly Savalas. Dang it. The score is. One. One. A millisecond more. Who loves you, baby? Woods, three, Mike, one, Sienna, zero. Here we go. Mikey. Porky Pig. Sylvester. Guy. Woods. Go ahead. Curly. Yes! Three Stooges, Curly.
God, it makes me so mad. When you miss it, then he gets it, and it's like, you're a monster. I don't even know where... Sylvester. Sylvester is a cat. All right, here we go. I was trying to say... Woods. Annie Lennox? Yeah. Mikey. Damn it. Sinead O'Connor. She's bald? Yeah. As Mikey. Yeah. Yeah. Not as pretty now. Oh, thanks. Here we go. Well, um... I had a girl come up to me and be like, can I kiss you for $100? And I was like, no. Britney Spears? Yeah. I need to keep hearing it. Wow. Wow. Do you have her name? Let me hear it again. Oh, well, I had a girl come up to me and be like. Natalie Portman. Dang it. V for Vendetta. Yep. Oh. Here we go.
They can't just sing. Brittany! Sienna! Wow. Wow. The one that I would know. Man, she was hot on that one. Oh, she was. Sienna screams at her. The girl's name. Sorry. Here we go. What I do requires a second. Mikey! Jason Statham. Man, you're good. He does it. That quarter second, he does it. His brain. That quarter second, he gets it. Five. Mikey zero. Sienna. One. We have one, two, three, four more. Here we go. You're facing challenges. Sienna! Demi Moore. Very good, Sienna. Was you waiting that whole time for that one, Sienna? Yes, I was. G.R. Jane. Yep. Honestly, the hardest part of it is that I don't think I'd ever been in love before, before the guy who I'm with now. And I never wanted to say that because the people I was with, I wanted to honor who they were as people. And it was men and women, and that is what it is.
Nobody? I don't know. Michael Stipe. Oh. From R.E.M. For the record, it was Woods that giggled. Was it? I don't want to get, I don't want to get, but, Mikey, giggle when you hear a man is in love with a man, is that it? There's nothing wrong with it. Okay, we've got two remaining. The score is Woods 5, Sienna 2, Mikey 0. How do we screw Woods? I'd say these are both worth five points. Of course they are. Here we go. Mr. Crusher, set course for Starbase A. Jean-Luc Picard. Yes! It's got to be the actor's name? Patrick, what's his name? What is it? Patrick, what's his name? Patrick. He knew the name. Patrick, what's his name? Patrick. Wait, why does it have to be the actor's name? That's who I'm looking for. I thought it was title or artist. Not character. Oh, that's a character. That's a negative five, my friend. Yeah, I won't give it to him. You're right. Patrick Stewart. Yes, there it is. Let's give it to him. Now he got it. Okay, good. Mikey five, Woods five, Santa two. This is it. Mikey just got the five pointer. This is it. This has come down to this. All right, come on. Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah. Woods. Mikey got it. Bugs Bunny. Yeah. Woods. Porky Pig.
Did you throw that? No. Bugs Bunny has fur. You know who I thought it was? Elmer Fudd. Oh, that would have been good. You said Bugs Bunny. Because that really sounded like Bugs Bunny. I thought you just pulled a Mr. Mom on me. I didn't. And threw it. It sounded like Bugs Bunny. Play it again. Who is it? What did I say? I don't know. Porky Pig. That doesn't even sound like Porky Pig. Sticky Fingers, you're going to Interpol, pal. Good job, Woods. Sticky Fingers? Yeah. He did it for you. Yeah, thanks. I was going to pick him, but I got chosen anyway, so. There you go. You ever have to answer 15 times as many questions as everybody else to win? No. Ever complain? Yes. Just no apparent reason? Yeah, I have a reason. Holy cow. I worked so hard. I know. You did good, kiddo. You did. You won, Woods. Did I? Even when he wins. I'm not happy. He's me. Yeah, even when he wins, he's yelling at us. Sorry, you didn't win. Sorry, you lost. You sucked at that one. 570-1949 is our number. Or you could text 949mikey at gmail.com. So listen to this. This is Simon Cowell. And this was very interesting to me. Specifically with what we do. And, by the way,
I want to say this. What Simon Cowell is about to say is something that I have said to program directors before, and they think you don't get it. You're nuts! You're an air talent. You don't get it. And you've got to think with your heart, not your head, in situations like that. That's where most people in the music business screw it up, because they don't think with any emotion. He's talking about, by the way, He's talking about finding talent. Okay? Finding talent. And he says you have to think with emotion in that instance instead of thinking with just, you know. Well, he goes on to say. And emotion is absolutely key to this. And I always say that if I like it, the chances are other people will like it. And that's why I can't bear research. Research just kills creativity because people like research.
Or they say things they think the person wants to hear. Or they overthink it. If they'd researched Idol before it went on air here, it would not have gone on air. Because people would have felt guilty about saying they like it. That's what made him such a good judge on that show. Because he says that's 100% true. I always hated research. And the reason I hated it. was because I realized that people will like things that they don't want to admit that they like. And that even if it's a stranger on the phone asking them, or if they're in front of a panel of people and someone is asking them, do you like this? They'll say yes because they think that that's the right and good and cool and right thing to say. Even though the truth may be that that's not the case.
Always thought what Simon Cowell just said. Now, you tell a program director that and they think you're a nut back. Yeah. They're more about the numbers and the research. Research. Research. Well, Mikey, had you not listened to your heart and had listened to your head when you were making your new cast, there's no way you bring in two people that had never been on the radio before or a producer that had never produced a morning show. You just don't. You have a whole different crew right here. Well, when I was getting interviewed, they couldn't believe that you didn't have any radio experience on the air. None. Zero. Zero. Yeah, when I tell people that, they go, no, that guy's natural. Yeah. Thank you very much. He is. Yeah. Woods is one of the most extraordinary air talents I've ever heard. Yeah. I don't mean like that. Definitely.
One of the most extraordinary people that I've worked with. But, I mean, he's one of the most extraordinary air talents I've heard on the radio. Thank you very much. Thank you. And L.O.B., natural. SNL, baby. Two of the craziest people out there. Yeah. Kooky as a barnyard hen. Yep. But good on the air. Sienna, same thing. Sienna didn't have a million years. Right. But she's real good. She's the best. She's the best at doing what she does. And Jay had not done it. Jay had never done it. He hadn't been a producer. It's very evident when Sienna, when she's gone. It's very evident when she's not here. Because you have this me, this extraordinary air talent that can't read the news. I just can't do it. I just can't do it. Well, it just messes with my head when she's not here. She's a show mom. Not so much the news. I think I just...
keep my you get well that too even even but it's also my emotions like you have a way with my thank you i'm sorry i tried not to be gone when you're gone i flip out yeah i try not to i flip out too sorry but you have to be gone sometimes well i was one of the times i was sick and sage was sick and then i had insomnia for four nights so after four nights but yeah i was like yeah you have to i love that i love that i've always been such a heart not head guy. Always. And it's gotten me in a lot of trouble. But also, you think if Simon Cowell hadn't been the way he is, there wouldn't be a Ruben Stutters or a Clay Beacon. Well, here's the thing. With radio, I always want program directors to just go... I know it's going to sound crazy, but just trust me. See, for whatever reason... Not everybody could be like Simon Cowell in that they can go, if I like it, then most people are going to like it. Not everybody's like that. There are a lot of people that you take them and you go, if you like it, actually, not very many people are going to like it. But for whatever reason, when he does, people do. And with radio, I've had some really, really weird ideas.
Tell the program director, and the program director will say, man, we can't do that. This doesn't make sense. And also, if we were to run that through a perceptual, it just, no, yeah, it's going to tank. And that's my little niche in the world. God gave me the ability to be able to do radio. That's it. And so I have these real wacky radio ideas. They work. Yeah. They work, but, man, when you first hear them, they sound crazy. Or they probably sound crazy. Which historical sporting event would you have liked to have witnessed, Woods? Oh, man. I saw it. I went to mine. I went to the pinnacle. I was at the 99 World Series. I was at game four against the Yankees against the Braves. I was at Yankee Stadium. And the Yankees were up three games to nothing. And if they won, they won the series. And I was at the game. And Roger Clemens beat the Braves. And I saw it. I saw the last game of the millennium with my dad.
Watch them win the World Series. Oh, my gosh. I have done. It doesn't get any better now. I've hit my pinnacle. And I actually today, Miguel, have pictures to prove it. I brought pictures. There's me. Woods brought an old photo album. He was showing it to me this morning of the kid as a kid. The kid in my prime, basically. He's like, look how skinny I was. Just closing deals on the reg. Is that you? That's me and my pop. What year is this? That's 99. So I met you like two years later. Yep. Oh, wow. You need to post some of these pictures. I will. If somebody knows how to scan or something, we'll scan them in. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do it either. You could take pictures of pictures, too. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So, yeah, I've been to the pinnacle game that I wanted to be at, which is pretty rad to say. Mm-hmm. It would never get any better than that for me. Well, maybe there'll be a better game. Can't. Can't be. It's the last game of the millennium. Well, that's, I mean, to be able to say that's amazing. Let's see if anybody has a different opinion on this.
Would you rather meet your great-grandparents or your great-grandchildren, Sienna? Great-grandchildren. Woods? A hundred great-grandchildren. I've met a couple great-grandparents. They're nothing special. Yeah, children, for sure. Me too. You want to see what your kids create. Yes, yes. I couldn't be less interested in my great-grandparents. They're old. They're smelly. Stinky. They don't speak English? Not a word. But I bet they cook some good food. You might have just sold Mike. Yeah. You might have just sold Mikey. They seem wiser, though. Get some good advice. Yeah. Mikey'd have to have a translator. Our great-grandchildren would be just, like, texting us. Yeah. Not even looking at us. They'd be like, get out of here, great-granddad. You old smelly people. Don't fart. You're so short and weird. Great, you were on the radio. Radio doesn't even exist anymore. Oh, I hope not. Oh, you're the person on the radio. Oh, great. Stupid. I remember radios. So lame. So lame. Such a hack. They used to have airplanes back then. Can you believe that? That's how you would get from Detroit. To Philly. To Philly. To Seattle.
They used to watch television on these things called flat screens. Plasma. Plasma. I'm going to watch a plasma granddad. Watch a plasma. You can have it in high definition. Sienna, if you didn't have to worry about money, what would you do with your life? I'm doing it right now. Yeah, hello. I don't have to worry about money. No, I mean, I'm pretty stoked on where I am right now. Money or no money. You know, I can honestly say that not many people get to. But just with my family all the time, I would never move, never, you know. I would buy the station and I would move us to midday so I could sleep in a little bit. But if you didn't have to worry about it. But if I won the lotto, I would still want to come to work. I'd just be the rich guy that didn't really have to work but had fun. Yeah, that's the one down part. Because I couldn't sit home. I couldn't stay home. I would lose my mind. Me too. We'd do it for a week. When we are on vacation, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to go back to work. Every Sunday, I'm so excited. See, I'm not because I feel like I work hard. Sure, you do. And I have a lot. I got so much stuff going on. By the time we get to vacation, ooh. Not me. We have a job that.
You may think, oh, you just talk on the radio. But it's one of those things that your brain doesn't stop thinking radio. Like when I'm home doing stuff, I'm like, is this a good thing to talk about on the air? Could this be turned into a bit? You know, like 24-7, 24-7, your mind is thinking radio, radio, radio, and it's exhausting. And I love, I mean, I love this job. I love it. I love it. I love it. But I have a lot of other activities outside of this. And then we got the three kids. And we got stuff going on. Well, you got other stuff that you want to do. You want to write a book. You want to do movies and stuff. I, for me, after slagging away in corporate America for 10 years, I never want to do it. If I had to go back and do something different, I would be a totally different person. I never want to do anything different, ever. Mike, you would be a really good motivational speaker. Oh, yeah. Did you guys know? You don't know that. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know if you do. Did you guys know? Because it was when I was on the other show that I was approached to have a documentary made about my life. No. Really? Yeah. No. And I talked to Rebecca about it. I remember where we made the decision. In fact, we haven't been there since. We made the decision at what's that brewery called that's over by Legoland? Oh, Carl Strauss? Carl Strauss. Oh, great. We were having dinner there when we made the decision not to do it. Really? Yep.
Do you regret it? No. And it would have been like. Yeah, because they were going to have to like practically move into the house. Wow. Yeah. Jamie and I, they're talking to us about a documentary when we go to Colorado. Really? To pick up our child. Who is? People are talking to us about an adoption documentary. Yeah. Using Jamie and I. Are you going to do it? I would do it. It would be rad. Oh, my God. But that would be cool because you would always be able to see what you went through. So we're talking about it, talking to hospital officials and everything right now and, like, I think the Denver paper and all kinds of stuff. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, it's pretty big. That's cool. Yeah, very cool. I don't even know if I'm supposed to say anything. I'll probably get killed when I get home. I didn't say that. Rewind. I was just kidding. Yeah, it doesn't matter for me. I can say mine. You have a life that would be a good movie. That and the book thing. Forever I wanted the opportunity to be able to write a book. Then I got the opportunity to write a book and we said no. You said no to the book? Yeah. Why? Because I don't have the time to. Right. I have family obligations. But yeah, we had a literary agent that said, yeah, love to have you. Love to do this. Love to offer it to publishing companies and it's built an audience and love to write a book. Wow. Well, if you had the offer, you'll have it again. Yes. Yeah. When you have the time. Yeah, she said whenever you're ready.
That's awesome. Sweet. So in 20 years, I'm sure I'll get a hold of her. You should. Maybe you let the kid write one chapter. Oh, wow. Why? You should let everyone on the show write a chapter about you. No. Yeah. It's very woodsy. Sienna says that she's got a list of the best men's grooming products. I need it now. Yeah, right now. Just for you, Mike. Next. The original. The original. Was Todd Lundgren? Todd Rundgren. Todd Rundgren. Yeah, it's a mouthful of that. It's so weird. When I was in Rochester, New York, I dated a girl who was really into Todd Rundgren. So she's the one? Yeah. She and Liv Tyler's mom are the ones. You will always remember when you've dated somebody that's into something that's just so obscure, you know? Is she into real obscure?
Really? Like what? Music? Well, how about that Asian ukulele player that she fell in love with at one time? Oh, that's so true. Yeah. She goes to a concert. No, no. This is the greatest. Has she told this on the air? I don't know. I don't either because if she's listening right now and she's like, I haven't talked to her. Oh, well. This is the best part of the story is that she got tickets. It was at the Belly Up. She gave the tickets to her brother-in-law for his birthday. Two songs in, he was like, it's an Asian guy with a ukulele. I'm out. And L.O.B. said she watched him. And dude, the guy's phenomenal. I mean, he's a freaking phenomenal Asian ukulele player. There's no question. I heard he's the best Asian ukulele player in the world. He's the Jimmy Page of Asian ukulele players. Well, when it comes to Asian ukulele players, he is by far and away the best. No question. Asian ukulele player in the world. And they went to the concert and he was like, like I said, her brother-in-law was like, cool gift. Thanks. I think he left and L.O.B. stayed and was like transfixed, just sucked in by this guy. Mesmerized.
She wrote him a Facebook message and was like, I just want to tell you that you're beautiful. I'm talking about making love. I didn't hear that part. She's going to kill you. She's going to kill you. I just want to tell you that you're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. Is that something you say to a guy? I go, what did he say back? She was dead silent for a couple of seconds. She goes, he didn't respond. Oh, my God. I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful. If she's not calling, then she's not listening. She's going to murder me. I'm looking at my phone right now. She's going to kill me. No, she would call. I can't believe she didn't go backstage. I know. Maybe he likes dudes. That's the only thing I think of. You're beautiful. L-O-B hitting on an Asian ukulele player.
Of course. Not the drummer for the Kings of Leon. No, no. Nathan Folliwell? No way. He's too mainstream. Easy, Nathan Folliwell. They're all brothers. They are? And there's a cousin. Yeah, three brothers, one cousin. That's cool. Caleb, Nathan, Matthew, Jared. We know you like the Kings of Leon. We know. They're all Folliwell, so get a room already. Okay. Oh, wow. Dear Asian ukulele player. Did you kill me? I'm sorry. I love you. I love you. We're running out of material. I needed something. Yeah. Sure. I was in the belly up watching this guy. He was Asian playing the ukulele. Nice. And I fell in love. I wrote him on Facebook. I said, you're beautiful. Oh, that I'm sure. She smiled.
There is no way she's listening because she'd call right now. I'm just imagining like what must go through your mind to be sitting at your computer on his page like, what should I write? I got it. I just wanted to tell you you're beautiful. I got it. It just hit me. Maybe we try her. What do you mean? Try her. Calling her? Call her. Text her. She's tired. Yeah. What if she's asleep? No. What if she's sleeping? Oh, Woods. Happy birthday. Come on. You're always the one that would tell me that and be like, dude, what if she's sleeping, ma'am? Have some social grades. Yeah, have some social grades. Maybe we should call her. You text her. You're the one that gave away that she friended a guy on Facebook that's an Asian ukulele player and told him he was beautiful and he didn't respond. That's a dude? Yes. Barely. You try. You have a list. Poor Lauren. I feel bad. Did you text her? She would have told the story on the air. Oh, yeah. Would she have? Would she? I just want to tell you you're beautiful. You're beautiful. I'm dead. Thank you. No response. Thank you. Thank you. What if he did? Thank you. Please text me a little bit. He likes it. He likes it. Like. I want to date you. I would date you. You Asian. I'll tour with you. You gladly play her. I just.
I wanted to tell you you're beautiful. I will. I'm going to see your next show in San Luis Obispo. You're playing the Gordon Beer in Mission Valley, are you not? Is that right? Yeah. Are you playing the Scottsdale Benihana next week? Is there any room for me in the van? She's going to murder me. Am I dead? Yeah, you laughed. You laughed and stuff. No, no, no. And you played the song. Mainly me, but you're dead too. Am I dead? No, it's not. I didn't write a parody song. I didn't write it either. Well, I didn't make up a parody song. I made up like a sentence of a parody. It's mainly you that's dead. I'm not going down alone, my friend. I will not. I can't. You're strong enough. I don't think she'll be that. You're strong enough. I'm going to tell her I tried to stop you both. She can hear the audio. I love this song. It's a guilty pleasure. It is. I love it. It's, you know, it's not cool, you know. Is that supposed to be me? Yeah. It's a guilty pleasure, Maki. Maki. Is it? Even though it was a big rock hit, you know. It's a good song. Smoke, I dip, I drive fast.
Easy hayseed. One hayseed calling another. Weird. I like everything on this list. Weird. Everything on this list. I looked at it, too. There's pages. It's phenomenal. You looked at it? Yeah, I looked at it this weekend. Yeah, men's. It's from Esquire. It's men's grooming stuff. When I see grooming stuff, I'm like, what do I have to get now? Yeah. Gotta get it. Licked at grooming stuff last night for... Wow. All right, so Esquire magazine. Esquire Magazine came out with a list of the best men's grooming products. Mikey and Woods. And one of them that rated real high was this Dove Men's Soap. Dove makes good products. Hey, listen. If it says men, I'll buy douche if it says men. Absolutely, men douche. If it says men on it, you know, I'm like, oh, I can do it. I'm fine. That's fine. That's cool. It's fine. It says men.
Y'all are cranes. I used to bark. Yeah, I used to use to bark. Sandalwood. Eucalyptus. It says, although the scent is a little strong, the moisturizing effects of Dove Men Plus Care Extra Fresh Body and Face Bar. Wow, that's a mouthful. $3 for two bars at CVS.com. More than made up for it. I don't like bars. What's the name of it again? It's Dove Men Care. So it's just, okay. I don't like bars. You know what, Woods? I never used to like bars. I love bars. And I go – now I use both. Do you do bar on washcloth and then – I don't like washcloths. Don't like washcloths either. You guys use lufas. I use the – I use a black one. Mine's black. Mine's black too. Mine's powder blue.
You have a loofah, Jay? Everybody does now. There's no stigma with loofahs anymore. I have a loofah, but I think I like a washcloth better. I hate the washcloth. Washcloth gets into your pores better than a loofah. Sienna, when you're done with a washcloth, what do you do? You wring it out and hang it somewhere? You can use it a couple times, and you wring it and you hang it in your shower. Hang it where? We have a hook. Like a hook? Well, I have one of those... Things that you put over your shower head. Yeah, caddy. And it has hooks on the bottom of it so you can hang stuff on it. Like a loofah does hang because I use that sometimes. But then there's washcloth. You know, you switch it out every couple days. I like the bar. Don't like the bar. I like both. I use both. Just order the bar. Weird. You said that as manly as you possibly. Just order the bar. I was on board with that Irish Spring you gave me. It smells good. I kind of felt manly with the bar. But I just don't feel like I get clean. The deodorant that they recommend is called Malin and Goats, G-O-E-T-Z. And that's the bar that I just ordered, but they're recommending their deodorant. I use Secret. You do not? Yeah, I do. You use Secret? I have sensitive underarms. I use my wife's Secret. Oh, my gosh. For real? For real. Okay, wait. Do you share deodorant? No, we buy in bulk from Costco.
And I just have my own little deal. And I also use Arm & Hammer. He's always powder fresh. Yeah. What? What happens? No, I don't. What happens? I have Todd's on today. It smells good. What? I have Todd's on today because I ran a mine, so I have Old Spice Pure Sport. It smells good. I like the Pure Sport. It smells fantastic. No, I don't, Woods. Woods, I don't want to smell. No, I don't want to. Smell it. I smell like a man. Here, dude. Oh, you smelled it still, though. Because he wouldn't get away if I didn't smell it. It smelled nice. It smells really nice. It smells like a lady. It smells like a lady, though. I like ladies. I do, too. I just don't like dudes to smell like a lady. That's all right. Dude, it smells like a lady. I'm not bad at it. And it works. It's strong enough for a man. It's just made for a woman. It's pH balanced. Sean, who used to be on the show, wore a secret. Did he really? And I'll never forget the day that he went. I wear secret deodorant. Not embarrassed. Don't care. It works, and it's very sensitive. I have sensitive skin. Very sensitive skin. Really, what happens when you use man's deodorant? Oh, I break out. Oh, goodness. If I use Old Spice, it'll break out and it burns. I swear. I promise. I've seen it. Not on Woods, but on other guys. Sensitive. I'm sorry. It's the way I am. I've used Menon Speed Stick my entire life.
Menin? Yeah, it smells like butt to me. That's menin. I don't know why. Really? It smells like a butt. Yes. It does. It smells like a gym. Like a rotten gym locker room. Really? Yeah. And Jay doesn't even use that. I use deodorant stone. Oh, my God. Stone. I use crystals. Yeah. It is like a crystal, yeah. I go to Sedona every year and buy a stock. It does last for a long time. American Crew. That's their shampoo they recommend. I love that stuff. I love the American Crew shampoo, and I use all their products. Crew has good hair products. I use Crew Fiber on my PHC. Face scrub, they suggest Gillette Fusion face scrub. Couldn't disagree with it more. Me too. Dermatologica. Greatest. A solid face scrub that you can use it every single day. I have an apricot face scrub right now that I'm using. You guys! I used to be a big subscriber to Dermatological. Can you guys hear that? It's expensive. Can you hear it? All the guys with the radios are changing the channel right now. No, they're not. This is men's grooming products. Face scrub. I'll agree with this. Anthony Logistics. Face wash. It's good stuff. All Anthony stuff is great. What?
You just got a text from L.A.B.? I'm dead. What? Did she text you back? Yes. What did she say? I said, are you listening? And she said, I heard. And that's all. No. That means she wasn't listening, but someone called her. So she's heard. Or texted. She's heard. She heard it. If she heard it on the radio, she would have called in. I don't think so. I think she's recuperating from her long. Do we reset? Because people are like, what? Really? I don't want to reset it. Run. I don't want to run to the hills. Woods just brought it up and listeners are like, why would she be mad? So wouldn't we need to tell them? Yeah. If we wanted to get killed. Killed more. By L.O.B. Oh my gosh. I'm going to reset for the sake of the show. She's mad. They can always just podcast it. I'm not the one that said it. It was Woods. It was not me. But I'm going to reset for the sake of the show. You know me. I'm writing her right now. L.O.B. went to a show where there was an Asian ukulele player. She was. Why did I open my mouth? Very intrigued by him and went to his Facebook, asked to be his friend and told him, I just wanted to tell you you're beautiful, to an Asian ukulele player. I was just kidding. I made it up. She's not here today because she had to travel to the East Coast for family reasons. I was just kidding. I made it up. And now she's back and listening to Woods say this on the air without her permission. The Asian ukulele player did not respond. He didn't respond. I said, are you mad?
What did she write back yet? No. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm so scared for you. I don't want to be. What is happening, Hollister? What if he just said that and he responded? I don't want to be a part of this. I want it to be your problem alone. I quit. I'm coming down with something. I can't make it in for the rest of the time. How come we don't ever get to be mad at her? Never. You can't be. She dances her way out of trouble. That's why. Is she calling? No, but I'm thinking. We can't be mad at her. You're right. We're not allowed. Well, I haven't really had anything. She doesn't really mess up. Well, not in a way where I'm like, hey, really bum me out that you did that to me. Right. Because she's pretty good about it. She's pretty sweet. She's not like, what? I'm a monster. Oh, she's going to kill me. She's not writing back. She's not writing back. I don't want her mad at me.
I don't like when L.O.B. I'll take if you guys are mad at me. I don't really care. You know why it's tough? Why? Silence is death for me. I can't have people mad at me. I don't like when people are mad at me. Please write back. I heard period or no period? No period. I heard. That's so L.O.B. Was I capitalized? I was capitalized. She's listening right now and she's knowing. I'm not going to call. L.O.B. Call. She's going to make me sweat it out. No, she's going to make him sweat. She's going to make him sweat. Call. Please. You have to call. Your boss is telling you to call right now. Call. She's not going to. No, she's not going to. She's going to be tough on this one. Maybe we said it on the air. Did she say it? I don't remember. She doesn't. Or else she would have said, ha ha ha, I know. But she said, I heard. She's not writing back. Yeah, because she's mad. She hates you. Will you call her? I'm not calling her live on the radio. Please call her.
She won't pick up and you know that. Can I call her? She's listening. She's not calling. Woods, you can't just call her. You're on the air. I'm not on the air. L.O.B.A. I'm your friend. I'm your friend, L.O.B.A. I love you. I'm so sorry. She's so sorry. She hates you so much. Here's the shave cream. She's not running. What's the shave cream? Kayoku. Oh. Maybe that's what he's saying on the ukulele. Yeah, he's saying that on Friday night. I did not laugh. Maybe that was his name. Why are you doing that? Zang Ruff Wang. I'm an expert in pronunciation. Please, LLB. You guys, it's going to be okay. No, it's not. She's a forgiving, kind-hearted... She's never been mad at you. She's been mad at us plenty. And it's never easy. Wang Yongfeng. I'm not saying that right now, by the way. Those are me pronouncing names. She looks at you and she doesn't say anything. I'm dead. You're dead. I'm alive. My heart is literally racing. I'm nervous. He just put on his Elvis glasses. That means he's really nervous. Yes. You want me to give you more? Yeah. Hillary just came in too. She smells real good. There you do. Smells nice. Doesn't smell like cabbage. Oh.
Yeah, I was thinking about stuffing some in my bra just for old time's sake. One for the road. So I put cabbage in my bra to stop from breastfeeding. I know. I did it too. It's a normal thing. It is. She's not writing that. I wore cabbage in my bra to work. So did I. It's like it helps. Maybe I brought a little extra to change it out when it got warm. A little snack. Limp in there. Wilted. She's not writing that. Woods, chill out. Aftershave. Ready? Yeah. Teal. Why do people use that for it? I'd use it. Aftershave? Yeah. Doesn't it sting? No, I use cream aftershave. It's a lotion-y aftershave. What does it do? It's nice. It tingles a little bit and it closes up your pores and makes everything all tight. Don't you put, I guess you don't shave your legs or anything like that, but after I shave, I always put lotion on it. It makes me feel complete. Me too. Yeah, for sure. Seal in the moisture. Yeah, seal it in. It's not running bad. Mike's going to order some. You should try it. You should try it. Use Kiehl's. It's the best. Kiehl's is good. It's the best. It's expensive. Really expensive. Maybe she writes back. Woods. The number one rated cologne for men. Vulgari. Man. Vulgari. But it's pronounced Vulgari. Is it? The one with a B? Yeah. I thought it was Vulgari. It's Vulgari. Mike knows. Does he? Man. 87 colognes. It's true. That's a matter of opinion. That's an opinion. Yeah. I mean. Yeah.
She hasn't written back? No. Tomorrow. Is it that Jake Shima? What's his last name? I know the Asian ukulele player. He's phenomenal. Hey, Woods, call her on your cell phone. Jake is his first name, I want to say. She's not going to answer. And his last name starts with an S. Not on speaker. Just call her normal. Are you sure? Yeah. Take it off speaker. Poor Lauren. What a clown. Take it off speaker. Sienna is Googling. I just Googled Asian ukulele. Jake Shimabukuro. I want to say. Scale of one to ten how nervous you are. Type in Jake. Oh, great. There it is. Jake Shimabukuro. Maybe we stop bringing it up. I want to see a picture of him. That's my guess about who it was. He's beautiful. Woods. That wasn't me. That was Jay.
Why is she so mad at me? Because you said the story and nobody knew about the story. But why is she so mad? Because nobody knew about that story. Because I talked out of turn? Yeah, you talked out of school. Why did I do that? He's kind of cute. Yeah, he's sharp. Hello, Miss Lady. He's like an Asian Justin Bieber with a ukulele. He's beautiful. I'm dead. She's mad. If she wasn't mad, she'd write back. No, I'm not mad. She's mad. She wasn't here to defend herself. But there's nothing to defend against. Maybe you tell your own stories and let her tell them. Yeah, right. Maybe she never tells you any personal stories again. When you were telling it, I was driving, I was listening to you guys, and my heart was going, oh, my God. Poor Lauren. She's mad. She's going to be mad at me. I'm going to have to do something. I'll do anything. Ella B., come up with your wildest thing, and I'll do it. You can do anything that you want. Why are you? You see? He sets himself up. He does. He makes it worse. And then he's like, really? The kid's going to do this? Yeah.
Kid's got to wear high heels and a dress. Easy. Let's not put ideas in anybody's head. How about we wax his legs? She's talking about hair removal in her spot. No. That's nothing compared to what Elleby will come up with. What do you got coming up next, Hillary? What are you going to be doing? I grabbed Ramones and Broken Bells. The Smiths. I'm going to play some Smiths. The XX. Jane's Addiction. The Verve. Really good Verve. There you go. Yes. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we'll be back here tomorrow morning at 6, and the entire show will be here tomorrow. We'll have L.O.B. back. Woo-hoo! Liz may not be here. Fabulous. Feeling a little ill? You should write her an I'm sorry poem. Oh, a song, maybe. Write her a song. On the ukulele. Oh, there you go. Mikey shows up. Late.