The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/25/12
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
celebrity divorceweight lossradio tributecelebrity healthsocial media changesrestaurant mishapfitness challengeextreme injurymovie discussionsports injurydental malpracticeseal heidi klum divorce
The show opened with Mikey discussing Seal and Heidi Klum's divorce and Seal's wedding ring (P0). Later, caller Green Bear shared how he lost 40 pounds thanks to gym, vegetarianism, kombucha, and the ridicule from Jay and L.O.B. (P2-P3). The team paid tribute to Dick Tufeld, the voice of "Danger, Will Robinson" from Lost in Space (P5-P6), and discussed Demi Moore's hospitalization for exhaustion (P7). Other memorable moments included Woods shattering a wine glass over excitement for cheesecake at Pamplemousse (P12), L.O.B. announcing a Pussycat Dolls dance audition at House of Blues (P31), a caller describing surviving a nail gun blast to the brain (P59), and Needy Moose recounting getting his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole (P79). Throughout, the hosts debated Facebook's new Timeline feature, athlete painkillers like Toradol, and various injury stories.
What happened, in order
Seal Divorce Speculation
Mikey speculates that Heidi Klum initiated the divorce from Seal, noting that Seal still wears his wedding ring.
Green Bear's 40-Pound Loss
Caller Green Bear says he lost 40 pounds in four months through gym workouts, a vegetarian diet, kombucha, and credits Jay and L.O.B.'s ridicule for his motivation.
Remembering Dick Tufeld
The hosts pay tribute to Dick Tufeld, the voice behind the "Danger, Will Robinson" robot from Lost in Space, after his passing.
Demi Moore's Exhaustion Hospitalization
Discussion of Demi Moore being hospitalized for exhaustion and dropping out of playing Gloria Steinem in a Lovelace biopic.
Woods' Cheesecake Glass Break
Woods becomes so excited over cheesecake at Pamplemousse that he shatters the stem of his wine glass.
L.O.B.'s Pussycat Doll Audition
L.O.B. announces a Pussycat Dolls dance audition at House of Blues organized via MikeyShow.com for women wanting to perform.
Nail Gun to the Brain Survival
A caller describes firing a nail gun into his own brain, surviving after doctors removed a three‑and‑quarter‑inch nail with no lasting damage.
Tongue Stuck to Flagpole
Needy Moose recounts licking a frozen flagpole in Colorado, getting his tongue stuck and suffering pain when pulling it off.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayNicoleSealHeidi KlumDick TufeldDemi MooreGloria SteinemJulia HoffRyan GoslingAnne HathawayMark Kotze
33,482 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's the Mikey Show, and some of you may be wondering why you're here on the Mikey Show right now, because you may have been on vacation or something. Mikey Show's on from 5.30 to 9 now, which is a good thing. If you are cruising around, you're going to work, you got the Mikey Show bright and early now. 570-1949 is our number. You can call us and talk about whatever you want. We'll do that now at 5.30 and at 6 o'clock because a lot of people's alarm clock will go off at 6. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And that's Nicole. Nicole screens phones for us. And she is 19. All right. So lots of things on the docket. There's a lot of things for us to be talking about today. And I can't believe it's already midweek. Yep. Can't believe it. It's crazy. Happened very fast. You know, one of the big stories at the beginning of the week was the fact that Seal and Heidi Klum were getting a divorce. Seal and Heidi Klum. And apparently, it seems to me that maybe Seal didn't want to get a divorce. I'm getting that feeling that it may have been Heidi's decision instead of Seal's decision. Of course. Well, he's still wearing his wedding ring, apparently.
Listen to this. I notice you're still wearing your ring. Is that, it's an interesting, it's a beautiful ring. It is, and my hands, I've just realized my hands are really greasy. Well, they're very soft. Oh, thank you. Well, yes, I am still wearing my ring, but I think that that is just pretty much a token of how I feel. We have eight years. Eight wonderful years together and just just because we have decided to separate Doesn't necessarily mean that you know you take of your ring and you're no longer connected that person We will be connected in many ways to the to the rest of our lives You know throughout children and also through the this tremendous respect and and love that we have for each other. Now, will we wear the ring for the rest of our lives? Who knows? But right now, it feels really comfortable in my hand. And so I have no intentions of taking it up anytime soon. Where's Seal from? Not the ocean. Not the ocean. Not a Seal like that. La Jolla. Is he from England? Seal Beach. I think so. Seal Beach. I can't figure out what the accent is. That's pretty English. Is it? English living here for a while. Yeah.
Well, anyway, that's the deal with Seal. I read yesterday, Mike, that he may have some anger issues that have led to some of this friction between them. Yeah. Which, you know, if that was the case, I would have been separated from my wife a long time ago. You and your wife are a perfect fit because she balances you out. She does. She's a good balance. She's a good ying to your yang. She's an angel. Probably Perez Hilton or something. Can't go to Facebook. Wasn't Facebook. Wasn't Facebook because L.O.B. has his password. She does. He can't look at Facebook for a week. Sucks. I'm going to try it. How are you feeling? Terrible. You're jonesing? Yeah, and somebody tweeted me this morning that some load is running mouth about me on there. So now, of course, I'm dying to see it. Like, I'm sick to my stomach. I have to see it so bad. This is a good thing for him. Yeah. He's not banned from Twitter. No. I'm tweeting like a madman. Yeah. Like a madman. It's true. That's a true statement. M1 Green Bear from Ventura County. What's going on? Hey, Mikey. How are you doing? Good. That's good. I wanted to call you guys before I fell asleep. And just wanted to say, oh, I lost 40 pounds, and I have to thank Jay and L.O.B. because of that.
You lost how much? 40 pounds in about almost four months. Wow. How did you do it? Two hours of the gym. I became a vegetarian. A lot of kombucha, L-O-B. There you go. Wow. So, okay. So kombucha, you're giving a little props to L-O-B. What about Jay? What did Jay do for your losing weight? Well, he always, he just. I don't know. He makes you feel bad if you don't. Yeah, he ridicules you if you're fat. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he got in your head. He got in your head. I've been there. What you didn't want to happen is you didn't want to come to a meet and greet and Jay meet you for the first time and Jay goes, wow, you're a fat pig. Yeah. Like he does to me and Mike every day. Look at you. He didn't want you to go to a meet and greet at Dave and Buster's and walk up to you and go, you're really going to put the breading on that, huh? Oh, wow. What's that, fried chicken? You know, they make that with a grilled option. You can grill it and get vegetables instead of fries.
Are you even going to let it hit the plate? You'll shove it right in there, huh, chubs? Jay, I just met you. I'm a big fan of yours. I'm just a fan, man. I'm just saying, man. Your heart's going to explode. Yeah. I mean, you're a fan of me and Butter. He should do a freaking, he should do a weight loss book. Yeah. He should. It's just ridicule. That's all it is. Just a coach. There's no advice. It's just ridicule. Yeah, page three is a mirror. Yeah. You know? Thank you, Green Bear. We appreciate it. Congratulations. Keep going. Congratulations to you. Thank you. I will love you guys. Thank you. Keep it going. Love you, bye. We love you. I think he needs to teach me back some of the things I taught him. I'd like to lose 40 pounds in four months. Oh, my God. I want to lose 40 pounds so bad. Lauren, if you lost 40 pounds. Well, I don't want to lose 40 pounds. She'd look like Kate Moss. No, worse. But in that speed, 10 pounds a month. That's pretty good. That's very solid. Two hours in the gym. That's a long time in that gym. Gosh, darn. You got some stamina if you're doing that. Yesterday, somebody forwarded me an email and then I read it online that Apple gained something like a $36 billion net worth yesterday. Wow. And the outlook for 2012 was extraordinarily high. And most of it was based on sales of the iPhone.
And the iPad. People really like the iPhone and the iPad. Except for Jay. No, I like the iPad. You do not like the iPhone, though. No, it's not that I didn't like it. I just wanted to see something different. You're an Android guy. Yeah, everybody was going that direction. I was like, hey, I'll go this direction. I'm going to go droid. He wanted something that is the size of a smart car in his pocket. I love the screen. I love all the options. It's a perfect phone. Yeah. It's also the size of a shoebox. Yeah. But, you know. It's the size of an iPad. He can't see any of our text messages. Right. Oh, I can see them. They're just broken up. Pixelated? No, no. They're just like you. Because you guys always do the, hey, everybody, look what we're doing. We're so funny. We have a great time. Yeah, we have a blast. We have a blast. It's like a chat room. Yeah. It's like a chat room. It's a non-creepy chat room. That's right. I don't know about that. Do you remember, do you guys remember the following? Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. That is the voice of TV announcer Dick Tufeld. I hope I'm pronouncing his name right because I'm basically giving him a eulogy. But his name is Dick Tufeld. He's the voice of the Danger Will Robinson guy. The robot. Oh, my dad told you to watch me. But can't you close your eyes even for a minute? It does not compute.
Warning, alien approaching. Warning. Biophysical experiments extremely dangerous to Earth people. Danger, danger. Force level building to fatal intensity. Warning, warning. Alien aircraft approaching. We all remember that voice. Oh, yeah. We all remember that voice. And, you know, he has passed away. He was the guy from the TV show Lost in Space. Correction. L-O-B. Woods. and definitely Nicole, do not remember Lost in Space. Yeah, you don't remember it? No. I don't. They even made a movie about it. You have to see it to remember it. No, they made a movie about it. You have to have been alive when it aired. In the last 10 years or 15 years, they made a movie. Yeah, they did. Yeah. And there was somebody famous. There was a few famous people. There were big stars. Rob Schneider, probably. No. But that was a big show. And so.
We bid Dick Tufeld adieu. That's how you say it. Rest in peace, Dick. That's right. Nonetheless. Now, the next name you will recognize. Demi Moore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She has been hospitalized for what her people are saying is exhaustion. Maybe take a nap. Yeah. Grab some Z's. Blackout curtains. That's right. Sleep mask. It's all the stress that's going on in her life. And her publicist says she looks forward to getting well. But she was going to play Gloria Steinem in a movie called Lovelace, which is about Linda Lovelace, the porn star. And Demi Moore was going to play Gloria Steinem. Wow. I wonder if Gloria Steinem will speak out on this because she's not going to be played by Demi Moore if she will hold a press conference. And speak out on the fact that Demi Moore will not play her. Because she speaks out on anything. She's a speaker-outer. She's a speaker-outer. I have a theory on that. What is it, Ella B? I wonder, because Demi Moore has been having some struggles with her coming to grips with her age and aging and all that stuff. I wonder if she didn't want to play Gloria Steinem because she wants to be playing a hottie. Yeah, she wants to be playing a younger, hotter-looking character. She doesn't want to accept it.
Yeah, it could be. It's a good theory. It's my theory. I could get behind that. The theory, not Demi Moore, just FYI. I wouldn't get behind Demi Moore. You an ageist? No, she's a little old for me. Oh, you would. Yeah, I probably would. I think she's still really pretty. She looks a little more haggard than I remember. A little more skeletor-ish. Yes. That's why she's going to the hospital, guys. Yeah, because you guys are just beating her up, you know? I mean, maybe eat a sandwich. She's hoping to get treatment and maybe eat a sandwich. How do they treat exhaustion? Sandwiches. There's your bed and there's a pillow and there's a blanket. And then you just, you be there until you feel right. You know, what brings up kind of an interesting point. I want to know what clinical, clinical exhaustion, what constitutes clinical exhaustion? Real tired. Whatever it is, whatever it is, we probably. And by we, I mean everybody listening. All of us. We probably all have. We've been there. Yeah. We all got clinical exhaustion. I am. Well, I'm chronically exhausted all the time. Yeah. I think if you couldn't get a good night's sleep, if you just could not sleep because your head wouldn't turn off. Yeah. You know, I bet that it goes on for a long period of time. You start to with insomnia, like almost hallucinating. Oh, yeah.
Stuff like that. Maybe they're just going to give her meds and take away her phone. I don't understand why when you get to that point, you don't just pass out. Your head. Your head. Your head won't stop. Or you've been doing meth for a few days and you can't sleep. Yeah, that too, right? That'll get you. That'll get you. So I've heard. You've gone on a bender. Not a meth bender. You're not a meth. You were never that once. No. I've gone on a few benders in my day, but never with meth. By the way. This was one of the only, I just realized, this is one of the only clean shirts I had. It says USC, and you've got on your Notre Dame shirt. It's a battle. Yeah. Woods hates USC. Yes, very much. Did I see video footage of you wearing that shirt yesterday? Oh. Yeah, Jay, it was kind of out of necessity. Thanks for bringing it up. Just pointing out the obvious. You do the same for me. Well, it's only obvious now because you brought it up. You just said the shirt and then people who saw the video, the Mikey minute. It will call you out so quick. Anything. Now I got a new one. I watched the video. I didn't notice you were in the shirt. He does. He rips his napkin off and then there he's like. I whip my napkin off. My napkin off. What Jay's talking about is if you go to facebook.com slash Mikey show.
It's a picture of me. I put this shirt on to make the video. That's the only reason I put it on. Thank you. Hey, thank you for putting it on Twitter because I was able to watch it, so I appreciate that. Thank you. I like the Mikey Minute, and I told you as much last night, and you didn't believe me, but I really, really like it. Yeah, it's funny. It's really funny. Sometimes Woods will be passive-aggressive. I wasn't being passive-aggressive. Dude, I love it. I thought it was hysterical. Were you guys, like, shirtless? FaceTiming when you talk to each other? No, no FaceTiming. I just texted him. I'm just, you know, a friendly guy. That's right. I told you, L.O.B., the other day, you have the best laugh on radio. So I spread the wealth. I told Jay the other day something. That's right. He did. How about Nicole? I haven't told Nicole anything. Nicole, has Woods told you anything on text to encourage you? Not yet. I did ask her to pick me up a can of Copenhagen yesterday morning. Well, there's that. And some cream this morning. It's almost the exact same thing as an encouraging text email or text message. You're doing a great job, Nicole. This is why our phone screeners keep leaving us. Yeah, because I'm errand boys and girls. Copenhagen. Copenhagen. As long as you pay them back. I paid her with interest, by the way. Really? Yeah, it's a $6 can. I gave her a fresh 10 and said...
You keep the change. There you go. Worth her time and trouble. 570-1949. That's our number. You want to call and say hi? You can. And don't forget, when we give you the word of the day, which we're going to do just after 6, that sucker's going to be good for dinner for two tonight at Pample Moose. Man. Wiener time. Oh, Pample Moose is so good. I was thinking about it yesterday, and I was like. I haven't been in a wide, long time. I have got to get back there. I want a hamburger. Oh, I want a ribeye. Real good from there. Truffle fries with just about anything. Dessert. Peanut butter bomb for dessert. Forget it, dude. Peanut butter bomb is about a golf ball sized thing of chocolate. And then when you put your spoon into it, it's got this peanut butter, almost like peanut butter dough. Like if you were going to make peanut butter cookies in the oven, it's got the same texture. Is there such a thing as peanut butter cookies? Yeah, there are. I just remembered something. What? Last time we went to Pamplemousse as a group, Woods got so excited. Their food is so good that he didn't even have to take a bite. Someone just had to say, me, I had to say, hey Woods, there's cheesecake down here anyway.
Cheesecake. And he broke his wine glass. He was so excited that he put his wine glass down on the table and he shattered the glass. Shattered. It's probably, you know, I mean. Broke the stem. Yeah, yeah. The stem, I mean, snapped in half. Snapped in half. Worthless. And we said. Fancy restaurant. And we said. Whoa, whoa. Easy, easy. I understand you like cheesecake, buddy. But my goodness, you don't have to go breaking the tableware. Mortified. Mortified. You don't have to get so excited that you break the tableware. I mean, once there will be more jazz. Well, it was at the other end of the table. And I was worried I wasn't going to get a piece. So I wanted you guys to know, I want some. Cheesecake! They just kept bringing out the different desserts, and he was like, oh, peanut butter bombs. Oh, bananas. Hey, guys, we got cheesecake. And I said, what's his cheesecake down here? Cheesecake! Smashed. Never forget that moment. That was a good one. Breaking the stem right off that glass. Very excited. The moment it happened, I'm sure you thought to yourself, wow, they'll forget about it.
They'll let this go for sure. They won't bring this up all the time for the next year. There was a moment of concern where I thought maybe he had some glass in his hand. That didn't last long. That concern didn't last long. Then we knew you were okay, and then it was on to just tomfoolery. Tomfoolery. A bunch of horse hockey, if you ask me. That's right. We just learned that word yesterday. I love it. Horse feathers. Yeah. I'm still wondering if that's a word. It's a word. It's a word. And I am going to use it ad nauseum. Woods is a big, I noticed he had been using the word brain trust a lot lately. And I saw Moneyball and Ides of March. both use that phrase. I can honestly say with 100% certainty that I've never used the word brain trust. You have been using it. Yes, you used it last week. I can honestly say if I've said it, I've said it one time my entire life. He used it a couple times and my brain was going brain trust. It's a good word. He was talking about like sports organizations. This kid in the brain trust. No, I said the brain trust of the Chargers have decided that this blah blah blah blah. Sometimes movies will influence us and we don't even realize it.
They get in our heads. Oh, sure. Wood said the same thing with Footloose, that it had that effect on you. Oh, yeah. With the smoking, because it looked so cool when Kevin Bacon did it. Smoking and drinking. Drinking. That's right. And dancing in the street. And gymnastics. Should I, because that's out now on video. Should I? Julia Hoff. That's the only reason you see it. Footloose. She's unbelievably beautiful. It's in my queue. Ella, did you see it? No. I have no intention, but I will agree that. The Huff chick. Oh, she is. Julianne Huff. That's Ryan Seacrest's beard. Now, explain to people what a beard is. A beard is somebody that, finger quotes, dates somebody that is gay. Now, we don't know that she's gay. No, no, him. She is his beard. Oh, I see. Yeah. Now, I don't know. We don't. You kind of. Sometimes you do. A beard covers up your face. Yes. And so the expression is, if you have a girlfriend, it covers up the fact. You like guys? How does that work out for her, though? Well, she's dating Ryan Seacrest. She gets all kinds of... You get publicity. You get perks. You get money. He's filthy rich. She has not officially said that he is, in fact, gay. And I actually don't believe that he is. Maybe he's just a switch hitter. Yeah. Yeah, I could believe that. Maybe he likes both.
Yeah. By Curious. He's like Jay. Any port in a storm. Yeah, he could be like Jay. He's like Jay. And there's, you know, nothing at all. I only swing one way, my friend. Jay really likes... No, you like girls, too. No, I like girls. You do like girls. You're married to a woman. He likes... His two on his list are Ryan Gosling and Anne Hathaway. Yes, exactly. Those are his two. That's Jay's list. Yesterday, he was telling me, did I see Ryan Gosling take his shirt off? The guy is like, he's buff. Oh, my gosh. Ryan Gosling. I'm not saying I want to make out with him, but I'm just like, he took his shirt off, and I was like, he's up there. Jay was like, hey, man. Is that movie Stir Crazy Love? No. I'm not. Yes, Stir Crazy Love. He said it yesterday, too. I love Stir Crazy Love. Why? Love, actually. No, what is it? Nope. Ryan Gosling. Crazy Stupid Love. Crazy Stupid Love. Good movie. All I'm saying is. When he takes his shirt off, it's just... It's hot. It's hot. I'm sorry. It's hot. It is. He goes, man, I watched that movie Stir Crazy Love last night with Steve Cattrall. And I was like... Who's that? Who is Steve Cattrall and what is Stir Crazy Love? Kim Cattrall's husband, apparently. Yeah, and then he said... Steve Cattrall? I just got it. Yeah. He said, did you see Ryan Gosling take his shirt off? Man! He even says his voice like you're airbrushed.
All right, listen. When we come back. He is. He's blushing. Thank you. When we come back, we're going to talk about Obama's State of the Union. We're going to talk about what is happening with Facebook. It's going to affect every human being that is on Facebook. We'll tell you what it is next. I always have to lick my sticks. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42 pens. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Geico talks about the job. At Geico, we've been serving the military for 75 years. So we know the military never sleeps. That's why Geico's also on the job 24-7. Whether you are active duty, guard,
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A little slow in this morning as you come through the 67. Looks like the 67 southbound side's a little slow from 10th Street to about Highland Valley Road, 41 miles an hour. Also swinging down on the 905, the 905 westbound's corporate center drive to La Media Road. Those speeds are starting to drop 33 miles an hour. This report, it's brought to you by H&R Block. With H&R Block Office Online, mobile and block live, you can now prepare, file your taxes wherever, whenever and however you like. H&R Block, never settle for less. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. TVZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Yeah. Your alarm's just going off right now. Good morning. And welcome to Wednesday. It happened very fast. I'll tell you right off the bat, word of the day today is satellite. I'll weave that into a sentence sometime between now and nine. And when I do, just be caller nine. You'll go to Pamplemousse for dinner tonight. Yeah. How about that? Pamplemousse is my favorite restaurant. My absolute favorite restaurant. And you will go there tonight. All you got to be responsible for is drinks and gratuity. And that's it.
So just listen for that word. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years old. Woods is our sports guy, and he is 36. Lauren O'Brien, also known as LOB, is 31. Jay is our producer. He is 48. And our phone screener is Nicole. She's 19. A lot of things to talk about. By the way, I want to let you know right off the bat, Mark Kotze. will be in the studio with us this morning at 8 a.m. Mark Kotze, formerly of the Milwaukee Brewers, and now a San Diego Padre. Yeah, formerly, he's been with a bunch of squads, but he was in that run last year, Brewers against the Cardinals. Cardinals went on to win the World Series, as you know, and he was right in the middle of that series, hit a big home run for the Brewers. He's a great, great veteran. And he's going to be great to talk to as well because of his association with Ryan Braun and playing with Ryan Braun and everything that just happened with Ryan Braun in the news and all that stuff. Yeah, and his old teammate, Prince Fielder, who was the first baseman for Milwaukee, signed a massive contract yesterday, which I'll tell you about later. Wow. Massive. So that's going to be pretty cool. By the way, Mark Kotze is going to be in the studio today because he was the highest bidder to be able to.
be in the studio today. Yeah. Which is really cool. It was a celebrity auction and he actually bid to be a part of the Mikey show because he's an M1 and loves the show and is coming in and that's pretty cool. He's a good dude. Very cool. He's a great guy. Good dude. Great player, man. So I'm going to get to the State of the Union and I'll break it down for you so you don't have to think about it. If you missed the State of the Union address last night with Obama, I will break it down in layman's terms so that you will walk into work today armed. Now, first things first. You need to know about Facebook because I'll bet more people have Facebook than saw the State of the Union address last night. Here's the deal. Facebook is going to shove something down your throat called the timeline. You're kidding. No, I'm not. You see, you have to have the timeline. I'm so mad. It used to be that you could do it voluntarily, but they're going to force it to you. You see, starting today, Facebook is telling some of their users that they have seven days to clean up their profiles before a timeline gets automatically activated. Not really sure.
YJ played as a fart sound effect to that. Oh, because it's farty. It's farty. It's poop. It stinks. Now, Facebook is rolling this out over the next few weeks. Now. Come on. Even those of you that haven't logged on to Facebook in a long time like Woods. Yep. Are automatically going to be switched. Woods has gone cold turkey. Sucks. He's been off Facebook for two days. I haven't gone to cold turkey. I had cold turkey forced upon me. That is true. Cold turkey would mean that I really wanted to do this. Yeah, I kind of forced you. You kind of pushed him. I did. And L.O.B. has his password. He cannot get onto Facebook. It's making me insane. Now, timeline doesn't really show anything that you didn't already have. The deal is, is that... If people used to want to see older posts on your Facebook page, they used to have to click the button that says older posts. Now, with the new deal, it lets people jump around to older material quicker. Who's doing that anyway? Nobody. That's what I want to know. LOB warned me, by the way. LOB, I was going to switch to the timeline voluntarily, and LOB said, don't do it, Mike. You're not going to like it. Yeah. She said it's for narcissists. Yes. I did.
And she said, you're not going to like it. I said, but I like that big picture at the top. It's the only cool part of it. That's it. I will admit that that part's cool. That's it, though. Do you get to pick that? Yeah. Yeah, it's whatever picture you want. It is, okay. Yeah, but, you know, that's the only cool thing about it. I believe that this is going to be the death of Facebook. Oh, wow. That's a bold statement. The people that I've talked to who have switched love it. It's so not user-friendly. I don't like it. You know what I'd like? I'd like somebody that likes Timeline to teach us how to use Timeline. Sell us. Sell us on it. Sell us on it. And tell us why it's great because right now I'm with L.O.B. I don't like it. But maybe it's just that I don't get it. It takes away from what we liked about Facebook, which was the simplicity, the cleanness of it, the... Streamlined? Ubiquitous. Like, everybody's looked the same. What is that, ubiquitous? I love that word, but I... It means it all was the same in uniform throughout. Yeah. And now it's like, this person's got a big box, and this one's got a small one, and this one's got a music player, and, you know, it's like, they're customizing it instead of a J. Gosh, every time. Anything.
Instead of it just being clean, it was clean before. Yes. Clean box. Such a creep. You can't say anything. You can't. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. So anyway, so that's a deal. If you have Facebook, they're going to switch the way that it's run. It's going to stop people from visiting each other's pages. That's what I believe. Mac, did you hear me? I said clean box. I just want to be able to. Look at my own page and understand my own page. And right now I don't because it's timeline. Right now you can still go on your phone. Yeah. And it looks much better. Yeah. It looks better on your iPhone. If you have the Facebook iPhone app, which, by the way, if you own an iPhone and you have the Facebook app, why is it so slow? It sucks. It's so worse. I just thought it was my phone. No.
Nicole, do you have iPhone? Yeah. And is it slow for you, too? Yeah, it's so slow. It's slow for you, Woods? Oh, it's the worst. It's slow for you, Ella B? It's slow for all of us. Oh, boy. Look, it's not that slow. I guarantee you it is. Hey, I'll show it to you. No, maybe it isn't. I don't want to see it. Okay, I'll show it to you. Jay is the only one of us that has Android. Yep. And his droid does not experience any slowness. My boyfriend has a droid. And it's slow. Yeah, they're slow. The Facebook app is slow, I think, across the board. Too much information. TMI. I don't know what you mean by slow, then. Not fast. Yes, it means that it isn't fast. He's scrolling. It took you all this time, I bet, to be able to do that. I just clicked on it, and it opened right up. Yeah, it opens. But the problem with, here's the problem with it. It'll open up. But then it takes forever for you to be able to start using buttons and pressing things and doing stuff. Let me play with it. Go off of it and then go on it. This does the same thing. Same thing. It's a little faster. This is a little faster. M1 Tiger Lily from El Cajon. Are you there? Yes, I am. Can you explain Facebook's timeline to us? Okay, well, I think it was one that said that you can jump around through the years easier, which is cool for...
I've had Facebook since it started and opened up for college students in 05. So I have a lot of information on there. And it's cool to be able to go back and, like, revisit stuff that I did with my college buddies and I haven't seen in a long time. And then, oh, look at this ridiculous thing that we did a couple years ago. But also, you can select certain statuses or posts to be prominent on your page, and then it'll display it all the way across. So it's like the main thing on your page is that funny status that got 100 comments or whatever, you know? So you can pick things to be prominent or not prominent. And they group a lot of stuff together, which is really convenient. Like when you like things or do minor activities, they group it all together for the day. Now, the only thing that, and to each their own. I'm not interested in going back in time and revisiting things from 2004 or whatever. I don't do it very often, and I've never had the occasion to want to. The only time that I've ever had the occasion to want to go back in time is if I, every once in a while, specifically thought to myself,
Somebody put a video on my wall that I really liked and I want to get to it again. That's the only thing I can think of. And apparently this will make it easier. Even then you're dealing with years. You know, it's not like it's grouped into months and stuff like that. Thank you for the call, by the way, Tiger Lily. I just wish that we could have Zuckerberg explain it to us himself because you know it was his idea. I can actually do that. Mark, explain why you thought that this was going to be so great for all of us. It's not thought. I know it is. You know that it would be better. Yeah, it's a vortex. What do you mean? It sucks you in. And now you'll probably, Mike, spend about three hours trying to figure that out. Yes, I will. In which case I will show you about 3,000 ads. Right. And then you'll learn to love it. Excuse me, I have a frog in my throat. No, literally. He's actually got a frog in his throat. And I think then eventually you'll learn to love it. And I hear that you're a narcissist. No, that is not true. That is actually not true. That is actually not true, Mark. I am not a narcissist, and so it isn't right up my alley. Eventually we'll have themes. I'm sure we'll have a Southwestern or Mexican theme for you. No. Just Mark would it be like,
turquoise and pastels. Right, and like a bolo tie. A bolo tie. No, no, no. What would mine be, Mark? Yours would probably be like the Yankees or like... Oh, I can do that? Yeah, like Dr. Pepper. Yeah, I'd be in. What about Jay's, Mark? It would just be like pictures of him, perfect. Yes, just pictures of him being perfect. That or just sex. Yes. There's a sex theme coming out. It's a dong theme. The word dong. It's just the word dong repeated over and over on his face. In various fonts. I can do that. Chalkboard dong. Halvetka dong. Old English dong. Old English dong. Book Antiqua dong. Georgia dong. It's fantastic. Bold italics, dog. By the way, if you did not know, our girl L.O.B. This thing is happening. Oh, it's happening. All right. Our girl L.O.B. very, you know, very passively one day wrote in her recap that she thought that it would be cool to dance like a pussycat doll. Yeah.
I practice at home. The reason she said she does this, she's a 31-year-old woman, and she says that her window of time to be able to dance like a pussycat doll and not appear as a creep is slowly closing in. Yes, it is, rapidly. Here's what we discovered by saying that on the radio. Apparently, she's not alone. In fact, if you don't feel that way, you might be in the minority. Yeah. And so what we've decided is we're going to let L.O.B. live out her fantasy, and it's going to happen at a small little venue called House of Blues, San Diego. Yeah, it's the Micah Wish Foundation. Real good. The Micah Wish Foundation. That's what we're here for. Now, here's what we've got. We've got... Probably thousands of girls interested. A bunch. Because what we thought it was going to be was one or two girls would be interested. Because Lauren's not going to do it by herself. Lauren is going to be on stage with some more girls. And they're all going to be doing a Pussycat Dolls dance. Now, because we have so many women that want to do this, we've had to create a page for it at MikeyShow.com.
So if you go to MikeyShow.com right now, you'll see L.O.B.'s Pussycat Doll Experience. And if you click on that, it's an area where you can, if you're a girl and you want to do this, it's an area where you can go and you can sign up for it. You got to be signed up. And then there is going to be a audition process. Now, it's going to be judged by Nikki from Bit O'Burlesque. And that's a real thing. I didn't even know about it until we said that we were going to do this. But it's a real thing called Bit of Burlesque for ladies that want to learn how to dance that way. And so it's going to be awesome. Now, the audition is this Saturday. Wow. The audition will be this Saturday. Site to be determined? At House of Blues. Oh, at House of Blues. That's on there. So it will be at House of Blues. And, oh, that's right. It's in the music hall. Okay, so it's going on from noon to 2 at the music hall in the House of Blues. And the sign-ups are happening at MikeyShow.com. So if you're a woman that wants to be involved in this, it's easy for you to do. Just go to MikeyShow.com and sign up for it. And L.O.B. will live out this experience. Yes.
We all will. Live broadcast. Live. On the air. Live broadcast at House of Blues. It's going to be absolutely incredible. I'm going to make it down there for those auditions for at least an hour. I need to just kind of see what's up. Just check it out. Yeah, I got to check it out. From about noon to one, I'll be there. Just to make sure that everything's... Taking pictures. I want to make sure everything runs smoothly. I'll run the dressing room. Nikki will be choosing for the record. Right. There you go. I will not be a judge. I will judge you, but I will not be an official judge, but I will be judging you, so know that. He's not going to judge you harshly. In my mind, I will. This was Obama last night. For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country. For the first time in a long time, Kim Kardashian is no longer with whoever she was with. Chris Humphreys. Chris Humphreys. So there, you know, you have. Thank you. For goodness sake, am I going to get anything for the Kim Kardashian? Well, it's tough, you know, because the economy's in the poops. It's better, though, isn't it? Isn't it coming around a little bit? Things are coming around. It's on the mend. So, yeah. Don't you think?
Honestly. Yes. I feel like it is, too. And technically, it wasn't his fault. That's the old bit. It's the old adage. That's always the older president's fault. Man, well, that's your hand. Alaska. Any economist will tell you it didn't happen overnight. Right. Now, here's the deal. If a Republican becomes president in November, then it'll be Obama's fault. Right. Yeah. Well, yeah, and I talk to a lot of economists. Yeah. They do say that. I love me. That's pretty much what I'm always doing in the afternoon is doing economists talking. He did say that our economy is getting stronger. Good. The state of our union is getting stronger. Yeah. And we've come too far to turn back now. As long as I'm president, I will work with anyone in this chamber to build on this momentum. But I intend to fight obstruction with action, and I will oppose any effort to return to the very same policies that brought on this economic crisis in the first place. Yeah. There you go. B.O., I'm in. I'm back in. B.O. I'm all the way in. You're all the way in on Barack Obama. Well, yeah, look who else I have to choose from. Yeah, it's a deal. Lesser of two evils bit. Here's a joke that he made last night. He actually was joking around about something. I've ordered every federal agency.
To eliminate rules that don't make sense. We've already announced over 500 reforms. And just a fraction of them will save business and citizens more than $10 billion over the next five years. We got rid of one rule from 40 years ago that could have forced some dairy farmers to spend $10,000 a year proving that they could contain a spill. Because milk was somehow classified as an oil. With a rule like that, I guess it was worth crying over spilled milk. Listen, I don't write them. I just read it. Actually, that one you did. You wrote that. You asked us to include that. You, in fact, forced us to put that in. We had both said that no. It's ridiculous. Truth be known, that is one joke I did write. It wasn't bad. It's not great. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.
I tried to put the... I tried to put... Why buy the cow? Why buy the cow? Mr. President. You can get the milk for free. And I told you that there once was a man from Nantucket. And there was another guy that said there once was a man from Nantucket. Oh, boy. But you wouldn't... You're not supposed to be saying... Yeah, I probably shouldn't say that to the American public. Right. Yeah. Right now. You already did. But I've got... There once was a man from Nantucket. There once was a man from Nantucket. Why are you... And, well, I probably shouldn't say that. Have you all heard about the Facebook timeline? Just walk, just walk. Now, as you know, every time a State of the Union is done, the other guys get to make a response. So the Republicans had a response last night after the State of the Union address. Contrary to the president's constant disparagement of people in business, it's one of the noblest of human pursuits. The late Steve Jobs. What a fitting name he had. Created more of them than all those stimulus dollars the president borrowed and blew. The stimulus idea was that you put all that money out in the government and a lot of jobs to be created. Didn't happen. Get like 600 bucks or something. That's right. It did not happen. This, by the way, is Mitch Daniel. He's a governor of Indiana. That's who they chose to be the Republican response last night.
As Republicans, our first concern is for those waiting tonight to begin or resume the climb up life's ladder. We do not accept that ours will ever be a nation of haves and have-nots. We must always be a nation of haves and soon-to-haves. In our economic stagnation and indebtedness, we're only a short distance behind Greece, Spain, and other European countries now facing economic catastrophe. But ours is a fortunate land. Because the world uses our dollar for trade, we have a short grace period to deal with our dangers. But time is running out if we're to avoid the fate of Europe and those once great nations of history that fell from the position of world leadership. So 2012 is a year of true opportunity, maybe our last, to restore an America of hope and upward mobility and greater equality. We'll see. We'll see. I don't believe it's going to happen with any Republican because the GOP is a freaking mess. It's an absolute mess. By the way, if you would like to pay catchphrase, give us a call 570-1949. You're either going to be taking team Mikey and Woods or team L.O.B. and Jay. So if you want to play.
Give us a call. What do we have as a prize, Jay? A pair of tickets to see the San Diego Derby Dolls, Math vs. Varsity, January 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. There you go. Mark Kotze in the studio at 8 this morning. Catchphrase coming up next. And wait till I tell you about a guy that just made the news for one of the most excruciating-looking x-rays I've ever seen in my life. Key show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's a pain in the butt when you move into a house and you want to put a TV up somewhere, but the cable outlet is not where you want it to be. That's why AT&T U-verse is absolutely revolutionary in what they've done. A few years ago, I had a Super Bowl party where I had to actually have a guy come out and run a cable all the way outside just so that we could plug a TV in to watch the game out there.
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Well, the freeways look pretty good. A little slowing starting here on the 67 northbound side from Post Hill Road to about Maple View Street. Then you've got some backup as you travel on the 905. Looks like 905 eastbound, a corporate center drive to the 125 north, 36 miles an hour. Somebody's walking around. They always are on the 5 northbound before Nobel Drive. Watch out for them in the middle of lanes. This report brought to you by Allstate. Having one Allstate agent for all your insurance needs saves time. Let an Allstate agent make your life easier. They'll bundle your policies. Find an agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Wood. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. You have coconut water. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Ladies and gentlemen, fresh off the satellite, this is actually very cool. You may or may not know that there were a couple of aid workers, one of which was an American that had been taken hostage in Somalia. And this morning in a very daring raid by Navy SEALs, they are safe. Navy SEALs went in there and did it up. You got to love what Obama said. He said the United States will not tolerate the abduction of our people.
will spare no effort to secure the safety of our citizens and to bring their captors to justice. This is yet another message to the world that the United States of America will stand strongly against any threats to our people. This is a really, really cool and poignant picture. After the State of the Union, Barack went back and he got on the phone and he was talking to the girl's dad. And he's sitting in a chair, and he's on the phone, and his wife, Michelle, is behind him with her hand on his shoulder. It's great. It's one of those, like, iconic deals. Dude, it just made me. It did. It really did. That's awesome. So cool. Mark Kotze will be in the studio with us this morning. Yes, sir. At 8 a.m., and if you saw the UT today, it was interesting, and I was talking to Woodsy about it, and Woodsy, I don't know what you think, but the Chargers are... We never really know what AJ's up to. That's the key. But he seemed to have a little bit of a twinkle in his eye as he was watching practices for the Senior Bowl. He's got eyes for somebody.
Who do you think? And who is it? And the gentleman's name is Courtney Upshaw. Now, normally I'm leery of guys named Courtney. Yes. But not in this case. This guy is a beast. Six foot two, 273. He plays for Alabama. He was the defensive MVP in the national championship game. Oh, wow. He's a hybrid. Kind of like a DeMarcus Ware. He's the hybrid. He's the defensive end slash linebacker. Can kind of play both. Right. And, you know, AJ was. was just all over the sky yesterday. And he's a beastly, beastly guy. Yeah. And, you know, he's just a really good player. But so Chargers have the 18th pick in the draft. That's, you know, basically right in the middle. And, you know, AJ doesn't really tip his hand as to what he wants to do. But he said, quote, are we looking for a pass rush? Yeah, I'm focused on that every year. My opinion, I don't know, man. They took a pass rusher in the first round last year, Corey Legion. That didn't really pan out, granted. Still young. Still young. Come on. Still young. I would like a big, strong offensive lineman. Me too. You may have different needs there. I meant I want to see him on the field. Yes. Me too. You want to see him at your apartment. Yeah. LLB wouldn't mind either one.
Either way. Because their offensive line is decimated. They got two guys that, you know, may retire. One guy may never play again. I mean, it's decimated. Yeah. Decimated. And that is where I think the greatest need is. I can't disagree with that. Phillip Rivers, you know, the reason he threw so many interceptions this year, obviously some of them were on him. Other times he had no time to throw. You saw in Bolt when they played the Ravens. Yeah. You give that guy time to throw, he'll slice you up. He will. He will slice. you up. Yeah. You may have just convinced me. He was on his butt the majority of the year, man. Here's how we do it. 570-1949 and you're going to pick a team. Mikey or Woods. LLB. You'll understand as we start to play. M1 T-Rex. on the line from Mira Mesa. What's up, T-Rex? Doing good, dude. Happy New Year to you. Hey, man, what team are you taking? No, you're not. Hang on the line. Traitor. And M1 Nick from Fallbrook. Who do you want? Well, you've got LB&J. I'm stupid. Hang on the line. And by the way, by the way, while we were having all of our fun, just playing a little grab ass right there.
You probably didn't notice that I gave out the word of the day. And, hey, Nicole, put that line on hold. There we go. M1, Marissa, what was the word of the day? Oh, look at you. Man. That's right. I did say it was fresh off the satellite. Man, I slickster. And you were able to catch that. Very good. Hang on a line. Thank you. All right. Catchphrase is a mind melt. We got a mind melt. We got a mind melt. That's right. First team to four, right, to getting four of these is going to be the winner. Are we ready? In one second. Woods is putting a pinch in. Great. As long as it helps. Anything that will help, man. Okay. It helps me focus. We're going to do places. Okay. Okay. Let's do it. I don't think we've ever done it before. Let's do it. Don't hit. I know. I always hit the wrong button. Yes, don't give them a point. And we lose a point when I do. Next is the button. Next. All right. Here we go. Yes. When you are 18, you.
Vote. No, you go away from your parents' house. What do you do? You leave the nest. Leave the nest. First word, correct. Second word, leave the house. Leave the house. Another word for house. Leave the home. Kill you with that bitch. Yeah, you get grabbers. Okay, so this guy, this animal has chompy teeth. Beaver. Uh-huh. And he makes this out of wood. Beaver dam. Yeah. All right. Appropriate. On the globe, this is the outer... The... What are they called? Equator. No, it's like that. It's the upper and lower... Hemisphere. Yes. Oh, my gosh. She had a little lamb. What, what, what? That was going to work out? The word was Maryland. And what did Jay say?
She had a little lamb. Maryland. Maybe you say Baltimore. Oh, my gosh. The word was Maryland, and he said. Had a little lamb. I was breaking it down. Had a little lamb. I love that man. I was breaking it down so much. He's got a different kind of brain. He does. It works differently. Maryland, little lamb. The land of Jesus' mom, Mike. Imagine if he had said. She had a little lamb, and L.O.B. goes, Marilyn. Oh, my God. I would have died. I would have died. All right, let's do this. We're going to stick with places. Okay. Places. Ready? Here we go. They built a bunch of these. They had these T-shirts, and you go to these different cities and get the T-shirts. Not soft. Hard. Hard. Three words. Second word is blank and roll. Rock and roll. Hard rock and roll. Heart of rock and roll. No, it's a place. It's a restaurant. Oh, Cleveland. It's a restaurant. It's a restaurant. You have hard rock. Hard Rock Cafe. Yes. You just said it. You can't say it. He already said it. He already said it. Capitalist Madrid. Oh, gosh. We say Mikey's not from here, but there's Bulls. The running of the Bulls. Oh, Italy. It's in Europe. No. Spain. Yeah.
Oh, gosh. It's not winter school. Oh, gosh. I just said it. I said it. And you can never say any of the words. Even if he's already said them? Even if he's already said. You can never say the rules. It says you can never say any. Like I just did. Yeah. No, no. But what I did, you said hard and you said rock. I said, OK, you've got hard rock. Yeah, it's like... But he already said it. He can't say it. You got to get them in order. I'm telling you, it says... He said a lot of stuff. We won anyway. Yeah. And for the same reason. Let's do it. I'm going to do entertainment. Did you give us a point? I did, indeed. Here we go. Entertainment. Oh, she had her nose done. She has a sister that sings as well. Jessica Simpson? But the younger one, yes. Blind guy, piano player. Black guy. Ray Charles. Yep. I don't know who these people are. Gosh. All right. You can go to the next one, can't you? No. I think it's those were the days. Oh. Flintstone. First name for Flintstone. Barney. Fred. Fred and Ethel. Yes. Oh, my God. Is that who they are? She was on the Today Show, but just got fired. Katie Couric. Nope. Meredith Vera. Yes.
I mean, no. Oh, she's an overweight black singer. She looks like she was dressed in these inner tunes. Precious. No, no. Oh, gosh. Holy cow. Missy Elliott. What happened? Why didn't it not beep? We might have been yelling. Excellent. Okay, so we're up two to one. Yes. I'm switching. Precious. That's all I can think of. Precious. Precious. I couldn't think of a song she sang. Oh, this is going to be, I'm going to challenge a sigh. Oh, wow. You're weird. Strategy. Ready? Here we go. This guy draws plans for a building. Architect. Yep. You go under this. Bridge. No, no, no. When you're getting surgery. Oh, anesthesia. Yeah. It's called the law of. Gravity. Ethics. You're very close. The law of. It's another one. It's another one. Law of gravity, law of ethics, law of confusion. No, no, no. It's a fake thing. I'm a very... Strong. I'm getting with you. You're getting mad. I'm getting too violent. No, but what's another word for that? Law of anger? Olivia Newton-John saying... Law of physical. The law of physicality. The law of... What? The law of... What the hell?
People are slapping their radio. So you're up what? No, it's tied 2-2. It's tied 2-2. Okay, hang on a second. This is M1 Nick who had picked L-O-B-N-J. Right, Nick? Are you there? Nick? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm here. We're tied right now, buddy. We're tied. Hang on. And M1 T-Rex, you still with us? Yes, I am. All right, dude. We're tied. We're going to bring this home for you. I promise you. Hang on a second. Yeah, we are. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go. It's everything. Everything. Everything. All right, here we go. Bagel. Oh, it's not king. Queen. But what is your bed? Queen bed. No, it's... Queen size. Yes, thank you. Come on. Oh, boy. Three words. First word is not to push, but... Shove. No, not to push. The opposite, yes. Second word is a little word. The last word is not on, but... Off. Okay, so if you... Pull it off. Yep. I was about to get creepy, but I didn't. Mikey's family was this.
They came over on a boat. Hispanic. Everyone that came to Ellis Island. Yeah. Oh, God. If you are very sick, you are at, it's three words. Second, last word is what that is. Microphone? No. If you're very ill, you are knocking. On heaven's door. Very close to that. Knocking on. Dang it. At death's door. At death's door. I know that was hard, dude. What was the microphone? So you're up now, right? We are. We're up by one. You only need to get one more. So Nick, they only need one more and you are a winner. Okay, dude? Hang on. We're going to do it for you. Here we go. Stay with everything. Okay. Here we go. I suck. Oh, when you're sewing, you have this sit beside you and you hold material together. Thimble. No, it holds the material together. Push pin. The second word on that is good. Pin. And what do you stick them in? Thread. No, no. It's called the... Oh, I like the... Mikey's couch has these... Pin chair. Pin cushion. Yes. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
This was a big thing back in the 70s. They used to sell it. It's a stupid. LSD. No, it's a stupid. Like, I have seven. A pep rock. Yep. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh, gosh. When you have to get your appendix taken out. Operation. No. An appendicitis. Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Quickly. If I'm sleepy, I'm going to. Nap. Nap time. Three words. Take a nap. Yes. Oh. It's a hotel or a salad. Yeah! Are we tied now? Yes. Oh, my gosh. Hey, T-Rex, we are not done here, dude. We are not done. We are still hanging in there for you, dude. Yeah, next person, next team to win is the winner, right? That was a good one. We will now be doing sports and games. Dang it. Nice. You ready? Yes. Okay. This is when you fall asleep at night, you have a... Dream. Yes. And then... Dreamscape. No, it's... Dreamcatcher. What are we? We are a... A team. Yep. Dream team. Yep. Okay. Oh, my gosh. The yard in front of your house is also called a... A front. A playground. No, it's just a simple word. Lawn. Yes. And then when you throw... Lawn chair. Lawn dart. Yeah. Hurry!
This is the team that Matthew Stafford plays on. The Detroit Lions. Yes. Oh, God. Hang on. I would never have known that. Oh, he carries your clubs. Caddy. But what is he? Golf caddy. Yes. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. When you're playing cards, you throw these in the middle. No, you throw them in the middle. You bat with them. You bat with them. Chips. Batting poker chips. Yes. I don't know what this is. I don't know what this is. Bring it out. The last word is another name for a hog. A pig. Yeah. What? Pass the pig. Pass the pig. Oh, I'm exhausted. T-Rex, we did it, baby. We did it. That's right, bro. Hang on. Hang on. I want to thank my mama, my grandma. Me too. Thank you, mama, grandma. Oh, that took everything. Dang it. Absolutely everything. You guys have your fake bits. You guys are holding it. Hurry, hurry. My goodness. Oh, my gosh. That's the greatest game ever. It is the most stressful game. And the greatest game. The law of physicality, yeah. Yeah, I thought you were faking. I wasn't. I had no idea. Mary had a little Marilyn. Oh, Jay.
Fantastic. Marilyn had a little lamb. Marilyn had a little lamb. Holy cow. Oh, I love it so much. All right. I want to play again. I love it so much. So we did Word of the Day. Remind you that Mark Kotze is coming in at 8. And I want to let you know this. Magic mushrooms may actually help you with depression. I believe it. It's a true story. Yeah. Apparently, there is an active ingredient in... psychedelic mushrooms called psilocybin. Yeah. It affects the brain. Now, they did this study, right, where they take 30 people, they gave them psilocybin, introduced it in their bloodstream, and then they map their brain. Turns out, people actually really reacted to it in a way that was helping people in terms of depression, anxiety, all that kind of stuff. Pretty cool, right? Yeah, pretty cool. Pretty cool story. How do you get in on that study? Well, I don't know. He's a happy guy. I just watched a thing, that TV show on Nat Geo, Drugs, Inc., and they showed, man. This dude had massive headaches, but with psychedelic mushrooms, it took them away. They were called compound headaches, and they are like the worst kind of headache that you can get.
So I told you that we were going to tell you about this, an x-ray that was one of the craziest x-rays I've ever seen. This dude, apparently 32 years old, living in Illinois, is out building a shed. And he's firing some nails into some boards above his head. Well, he felt a sharp pain on the side of his head and didn't realize that he had fired a nail gun directly. into his brain. Now, Penny went away. He was fine, so he decided to go to sleep. And he did. In fact, he had a great night's sleep. Woke up the next day, and he actually felt fine. So he went to work. By the afternoon, he came home, took a nap. When he woke up from the nap, then he realized something was amiss. Something was wrong. So then he decided to go to the hospital. When he got there,
Doc took an x-ray and found a three and a quarter inch nail in dude's brain. You see, Dante Othello was very lucky because it went into his brain and it was just that crucial part of his brain that would not affect his future. And they took it out and dude is absolutely fine. Wow. See, your brain, it doesn't have any direct nerves connected to pain, sensitivity. Your actual brain doesn't have nerves connected to it. Wow. So he couldn't feel anything. Now, we brought this up as a topic towards the end of the Mikey Show last week, but we're going to bring it up again because of that. Have you ever taken one from a nail gun? Have you ever taken one?
From a nail gun. Call us right now. 570-1949. We want your nail gun story. Mark Cotte in studio at 8. All coming up. This is the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. There's a reason BMW is number one. At BMW Encinitas, we're out to crush the competition by continuing to make the ultimate driving machine affordable. This weekend, get special pricing on hundreds of new BMWs. Buy a 2012 BMW 528i sedan with automatic. Leather, navigation, moonroof, and much more for only $5.99 a month. That's right. Lease a new 2012 BMW 528i sedan just $5.99 a month.
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Some delay on the 8 eastbound at Las Coches Road. There's a stalled vehicle, and you've got a little bit of a delay behind that. The 8 westbound, a backup here at Lake Jennings Park Road. That's about 32 miles an hour. Other areas of slowing, starting to see it on the 805, the northbound side from Imperial Avenue to 43rd Street, 40 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Subway. Enjoy the deli-style taste. The Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt, Piled High Pastrami, Spicy Mustard, Pickles and Cheese. Get the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt today. I'm Stacey Cohen. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Gift. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. And I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. Typical fact. Why did he have that one around here? His finger is always on that particular little sound drop. All right. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Jay, our producer. And our phone screener is 19-year-old Nicole. Mark Katze will be in the studio in less than an hour. We're taking your nail gun stories. How have you nail gunned yourself? And...
Woodsy, I guess Lincecum has been tied up. Yeah, at least for a couple of years. And you just said Mark Kotze, he's a San Diego Padre. He's coming in the studio at 8. He'll be facing Lincecum quite a bit next year. In the next two years, as he has... There's not a lot of people that can say that. It's going to be so great to talk to him. Tim Lincecum, his nickname's The Freak. He's a four-time All-Star, two-time Cy Young Award winner, has signed a two-year extension, just a shade over 40. Million. Oh, gosh. Wow. I've said it before. I will say it again. Fathers, play catch with your children. Question Woods. Yes. In terms of a deal, how does that compare to your team that you play on? The Tipsy Crows? The Tipsy Crows. Our semi-pro team? Your semi-professional team. Pay to play. Well, we don't pay. It's adult little league. It's not little league. No. This guy's early in the mid-80s. Adult league, I guess. Yeah. Drop the little because they're not little. Yeah, semi-professional. Yeah, they're grown-up guys. Yeah, old college pitchers. Right. Guy on my team, he's pinched against the Texas Longhorns. That's pretty awesome. You didn't play in college, though. No, I didn't. I blew up my elbow. Nah. Now, where are you guys playing next time you play?
What do you mean? Well, the new season starts in a few weeks. I'm not real sure where our first game is. Schedule hasn't been released yet. So you're not involved heavily right now in winter training? I am in winter training. Winter training. As a matter of fact, actually, I have an appointment at the batting cages at 10 a.m. on Saturday. MLB. Batting coach? Yeah, batting coach? No, just the guys from my team. Okay. Is it Boomers? No. Professional place, right? Bullpen. No. No, it's J.P. Longballs. Okay. Which is Jay's nickname. Yeah, it's... It's J.I. J.I. Longball. His middle name is Penis. It's actually Jason Penis Longball. Longball. Oh, gosh. Which is a weird name, but what are you going to do? Yeah, that's not even close to the deal that I signed. My deal's a little less. How much? My deal is for... I don't like talking about money. Well, I'm not embarrassed. I mean, my deal's for, like, 22 games, and I don't have to pay, like, 150 bucks. Okay. My deal's... 22 games, 150 bucks. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. It's not bad. What's that, like seven bucks a game or something? Something like that. Yeah. I'm one Eric from San Diego. You there? Yeah, I'm here. Did you get shot with a nail gun or you know somebody that got shot with a nail gun? No, so I'm an orthopedic surgeon and we had a patient a couple years ago who, construction worker, shot himself in the thigh, pulled the nail out himself, went through the rest of his day, did his work and everything, went to bed that night.
Got up the next morning and stepping out of bed, his femur broke. Oh, my gosh. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. Ouch. Ouch. I thought I'd heard it all. I really did. I thought that we'd gotten to the end of the things that I'd heard. Did he just collapse? Yeah, he just collapsed there on the floor? Yeah, they brought him into the ER and we had his leg. My goodness. And I'm sure people were like, you know, wow, what did you do? Did you get hit by a car? Did you blah, blah, blah? No. I nail gunned my leg, causing the fracture, pulled it out. It was apparently just ready to be broken, but hadn't had enough. pressure applied, went to sleep, got up in the morning, and as soon as he put his body weight on it, it snapped. Did the bone come through the skin? No, it didn't come through the skin. But when we went in there, we had to pull a little tiny piece of the nail that had sheared off the end of the nail. Oh. Oh my. Woods just took his headphones off. Man.
My whole body feels weak. Woods gave a look, too, like he gave up. Woods mentally gave up at that point. I'm done. It's supposed to be the most painful thing you can do to your body. A femur? Yes. Oh, gosh. Everybody that you're driving on your car, just take that one. I have a question for you, M1 Eric. Yeah? Was that guy the talk? of that place? Well, he was. In fact, I wrote the whole case up and it got published in a medical journal. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. That is, I mean, it's freakishly phenomenal. Can I ask a question? So did the break keep just like spreading as he was sleeping? Well, basically what happens is, you know, you shoot a hole in your bone like that, which is basically what he did.
It's an area of like a stress riser. It's kind of like the perforations in toilet paper. Oh, my gosh. And so as soon as you put the right force across it, it just broke right through that hole. My goodness. My goodness. My goodness. My goodness. All because of a nail gun. Get shot in the thigh, pull it out, and go to the emergency room. I'm telling you, we could do an entire segment. Just leave it in. We could do an entire segment on just nail gun stuff because these stories are crazy. Oh my gosh. They make me so sick. They're crazy. They make me sick, but in a fascinating way. They make me woozy. I don't know how you do what you do, Eric. I don't know how you do it. You see some gnarly stuff. Does that go down as the gnarliest thing or is there anything more gnarly you've experienced? Wow. I'm in the Navy, so I've seen a lot worse stuff over in Afghanistan. We better not go there. No. But, hey, thank you for the call. Absolutely. Appreciate it. Love you. Love you. Love you. M1 Cave Dweller, we didn't know this about you. What did you do? Well, I was moving a pile of wood, and it was two-by-fours. And some of them had nails in them, and I wasn't wearing gloves. But I reminded myself.
that as I was throwing this that I needed to be very careful. And yet when I picked up a two-by-four and threw it, it hung in the air a little extra and then fell because a nail had caught in the meaty part where your finger meets your hand. Yeah. I feel this like a banana. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. There goes the grundle. Woods' grundle just went into spasms. There it goes. It's done. Well, I didn't do it with a nail gun, but I told you the story about stepping on the board with a nail, and it went all the way through my foot. God, dude. It was just a short piece of board, and when I'd walk, the board went with me. Jay, thank you, cave dweller, by the way. Thank you. Jay, was that one of those deals, because I've heard about this, was that one of those deals that when it actually went through the skin,
You can audibly hear it. Oh, you can hear it. And I remember seeing it. It was so slow because I felt it, but there was nothing I could do because of my weight. I was running, and I saw it, and I heard it, and you could see it pushing. Yeah. Holy cow. I immediately sat down real quick, and without thinking, I went, popped off. My grandmother was so mad. You know what? It's one of those deals where when you do something like that, your brain instantly goes, I'm in trouble. Yeah, I screwed up. It's very calm. But your brain will say to you, yep, I'm screwed. I'm screwed. I just did something and it's not good. And it's going to hurt a lot. And your brain tells you this in just a millisecond. It says to you, this is going to be bad. You're not going to enjoy the next two weeks of your life or six weeks of your life. Football players, they claim that when they have compounds, you know what I mean by compounds. Compound fractures? Yeah. To a man, they hear it. Almost every time, Woods, L-O-B, Jay, almost every time what they'll say to you is, oh yeah, when it happened, I heard a snap. Yep. Scotty Stevens, football team. Yeah. Snap his leg, quarterback. Broken bones. Listen, you talk about how amazing the human body is. Just the fact.
that you can break a bone that bad like Theismann did. Oh, God. That's the worst. That's the worst. And that it'll heal. Yeah. Theismann was the worst because you know it's bad when Lawrence Taylor, the guy that broke it, from the other team is panicked and calling over the doctors. You can hear that one. That's when you know it's bad. When it bends the wrong way and it's like tweaked in a different direction. All right. I'm done. I'm done. It's hot. They made everybody leave. Hey, Woods. Yeah. Did you see the Patriot game, the whole thing? Gronkowski? Yes. Yeah, I saw it. I thought he was done. Dude. I thought he was done. If you didn't see the game this weekend. Oh, God. New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens. And the tight end for the New England Patriots, his last name is Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski. Yeah, he's a beast. Now they've got an HD super slow-mo. And I mean super slow-mo. And they show him get tackled. And what happens is he plants his right foot and right... Or it was his left. Left foot. It was his left foot. And right as he plants his left foot, he gets hit on the left side. And you see the side of his foot touch the plank. But the rest of his body stays straight up. And I mean...
Even on television, even these seasoned broadcasters went, oh, dude went into the locker room and they shot him up and he went back out. No. And he played. How is that even possible? I think he scored a touchdown. I believe he did. And there was an article yesterday, an interview with Brian Urlacher, who's one of the toughest linebackers in the NFL. Yeah. Urlacher said. Oftentimes, when he gets really hurt in a game, if he gets a concussion, he knows he has a concussion. He will not say that he has a concussion. He'll say, yeah, the reason why I came out is I did something to my toe. He wants a few minutes to regain his bearings. Then they shoot him up with something. It's in the article. I can't remember the name of the medicine, but it could cause kidney failure. And he knows this, and he's like, I don't care. Give it to me. They're a different breed. Different breed.
Different breed altogether. Yeah. And he will not come out of a game. Sounds good for you. So do you think that Urlacher had any issue with Jay Cutler walking, his teammate, basically walking off the field? In the NFC Championship game? Yeah, he probably did. Now, the medical term for what Jay Cutler had. Is a boo-boo. Yeah, a boo-boo. That's a medical term. What Jay Cutler had was called a boo-boo. An ouchie. An ouchie. And it's also called an ouchie. Yeah. And he left. Yeah. And Caleb Haney came in. And, yeah, it was bad. Yeah, I wonder if Erlacher was like, yeah, take it to the house. He was probably as sensitive as Jay would be. Yeah. Mark Kotze just texted me and told me the name of the drug that they shoot him up with is Tortol. Tortol? Tortol. Yeah, it's something, and it can cause kidney and liver damage. Okay, so what... Mark, I know you're on your way in, but it's Mark Kotze. Call us, because I want to know what it's supposed to do. I want to know what that drug is supposed to do. We know that it can have a bad effect, but I want...
Mark Kotze to call us, 570-1949, and tell us what this thing actually does. Jay? No, I'm just laughing because somebody wrote in that they stuck their tongue to a pole. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Yeah, it's the thing from A Christmas Story. M1 Needy Moose from Claremont, are you there? Yeah, good morning. Hi, Needy Moose. How's it going? I'm good. You actually licked the flagpole just like in the movie Christmas Story. Yes, I had watched it, and I was at the park, and I'm thinking, you know, I'm by myself. Where, where, what part of the country? What part of the country? Actually, Vail, Colorado. That's where I'm from. Okay. What time of year? It was the middle of December, so it was probably about 23 degrees. Okay. And I was looking at the pole, and I'm thinking, no, there's just no way. So I stick my whole tongue on the pole, not just the tip. Oh, boy. And there's nobody around in the park. I'm by myself. No hot water. So I literally had to pull my tongue off the pole. And when I pulled it off, it hurt so bad. And I'm just like, ah. And then I look at the pole. And there's a big thing of my tongue on it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow.
Emergency room? It was horrible. Everybody was laughing at me. I have a legitimate question, M1 Needy Moose. I can't take it. Oh, I love it. It's delicious to me. I hate it. M1 Needy Moose, I have a question. Yes. Did it affect your sense of taste? No. You know what? It's so far back, I can't remember, but I'll tell you for a while, I really didn't want to eat anything solid. Really? So it didn't affect your taste buds? Just soup it up real good. So you can still taste the same as you could before it happened? I would have to say so, definitely. Because I would think if you tore those suckers. I'm lucky. Very lucky. You're very lucky. Yeah, I did that with my tongue, just the tip, though. Uh-oh. And then I used my own saliva to, like, get it off. You did it against the pole? Yeah, the flagpole. And it does stick? It does, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I don't know why we all saw what happened to him in the movie, and we still try it. We do. We do. I would. Tell me that story, kid. Oh, Jacef R. It's your friend and co-worker. All long balls in there will just get you. All J.I. long balls will get you. J.I. long balls. What is it, J.I.? J.P. J.P. long balls. Easy, J.P. He's J.P. It's my favorite. M1 Dino from San Diego, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Hey, I've had a couple injuries. The first one, I broke my ankle.
Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, my. God, dude. Shattered my elbow. Oh, my. Oh, my. Okay, okay. Question, question, question. Yeah, yeah. Which was more painful? The arm. The arm. The arm was more painful. With the ankle, I pretty much went into shock. Oh, my gosh. I can't deal with that. And it's amazing how one part of your body, you know, is more prone to the shock and the other one isn't. Well, you know. At first, I thought, because I've sprained my ankle many times. And at first, I thought, oh, heck, I just sprained my ankle again. But then, you know, when everybody kept saying, hey, hey, don't sit up, just lay there, don't even look. Well, of course, first thing I do is I'm going to look. And I look, and it's like, this is not good. Oh, my. Those cleats will get you, those metal cleats. Let me tell you, when someone tells you don't look,
That's never good. Never good. That's a sad story, usually, the end of that one. Hey, thank you for the call. I hate it. I love it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It hurts me. This makes me not want to have boys. Oh, yeah. No sons. Oh, you just freaked me out. Yeah. I got three. I got three. M1 Mike from Encinitas, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What happened? Well, I've got two stories. I've got a vacuum cleaner and a surfing one. The vacuum cleaner, I was walking through my house and I stubbed my pinky toe on my vacuum cleaner. And when I looked down, it was pointed off my foot. 90? 90 degrees? 90 degrees. 90 degrees. Yeah. And I just grabbed it and it went. Oh, gosh. And you just snapped it back into place. And then the other one, I was surfing out in Cardiff. Yeah. Some longboarder. Was dropping in on a wave, and I tried to duck dive him, and his back fin went straight across my heel, cut my foot through my booties, and missed my Achilles tendon. Oh, God. Yeah. The fins of his surfboard actually sliced. Those are giant fins. I always think that, too. It sliced your foot? Oh. Yeah, through my booties. Through the booties. Oh. Yeah.
Oh, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. I need more. I was like, yeah, bro, you really messed me up. People come so close to you all the time. Hey, thank you for the call. That's crazy, man. I want you to call us at 570-1949. I want you to call us at 570-1949 with how you got yourself and got yourself good. And we'll talk to you next. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. AT&T, AT&T U-verse. U-verse TV is only $29 a month for six months. That's a total home DVR included in it. And if you order today, you get HBO and Cinemax free for three months. LOB and Woods are still trying to regain their heads after those stories. It's only getting better. People are calling right now.
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Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. At Exxon & Mobil, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your cars run cleaner. It's one more way they make gasoline work harder for you. Some delay on the 8 eastbound at Las Coches Road. There's a stalled vehicle, and you've got a little bit of a delay behind that. The 8 westbound, a backup here at Lake Jennings Park Road. That's about 32 miles an hour. Other areas of slowing, starting to see it on the 805, the northbound side from Imperial Avenue to 43rd Street, 40 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Subway. Enjoy the deli-style taste. The Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt, Piled High Pastrami, Spicy Mustard, Pickles and Cheese. Get the Subway Big Hot Pastrami Melt today. I'm Stacey Cohen. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
clean offshore conditions as well with a little bit of a smaller small combination west northwest mixture still looking pretty fun in that waist chest shoulder high zone on average up to head high plus at the standout spots uh tides kind of a moderate swing to a higher tide later this morning that will slow down some areas little broken up lines can be found out there the reef breaks now occasional steeper corners better at lower tides beach breaks looking pretty fun broken up lines and peaks there as well They can choose corners, some closeouts too, but a lot of makeable open faces with a little bit of an offshore breeze holding it up. So it looks like a great start to the day. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for surfboard repair, restoration needs, go see Joe Roper. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Let's get to the point. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. M1 Sarah just posted a story on our Facebook wall. Said she can't get through, but I want her to check her Facebook inbox because that's a story.
That is a story. Jay, we are taking your calls right now on, well, I don't know, we're calling it nail gun stories. Is that her? Yes, sir. Nail gun stories. Injury stories. Injury stories fascinate me. Creep woods and LOB out stories. They are creep woods and LOB out stories. M1 Sarah, are you there? Yep, hi. Hi. Tell us what happened to you. I was getting out of my car, and I was in a hurry, and I shut my car door on my right hand, and it shut on my finger, and it completely shut, like, all the way, not jarred or anything. Oh, wait. It gets better. Oh, wait, listen to this. And what was the deal with the door? It locked. It locked. It locked.
L.O.B. just shook her head no. No. No. No. No. L.O.B. is shaking her head no. L.O.B. has officially given up. Her day just left her body. Just to review, M1 Sarah closed the car door on her hand, and the door was locked. Yeah. Had to fumble through my keys with my other hand. Oh, my gosh. I'm trying to find the right key. What's this going into? Convulsions. I'm having the pee shivers. Yeah. Bad. Yeah. That one, listen, it takes a lot to get me. That one got me. That one got me. It makes me tired. It sucks the energy out of me. How's that finger now? Well, surprisingly, I almost fractured it. I thought for sure I was going to lose the tip of my hair.
Just the tip. But I took it out, and I looked at it. Nothing happened. And then all of a sudden, it just reported, like, a three-foot stream of blood. And it had the... Yeah. Oh, my goodness. The heartbeat. Yeah. It was like Kill Bill when they cut the head off of the dude. It was just... Yeah. Wow. But, you know, I... Didn't feel anything, nothing. And, you know, you kind of go into, like, rescue mode, get out of here. Fight or flight. Yeah. Ran upstairs to my aunt. And as soon as I told her, I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth. I'm like, I shut the car door. And I, like, was, like, almost passing out. It was like my body knew I had help. And it was like, okay, you're done. Now, wait a minute. Question. When you first did it. Was it an immediate thing or did it take your brain a second to catch up? Yeah, I mean, pretty immediate. It's funny how your brain just knows you got to do something. I just, I saw it shut and it was locked. I just was kind of like, you know, swear word, swear word, swear word. Right. I'm going through my keys. Was there anybody around? No. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Like if it were me or Woods, we would get so scared we'd run.
What's up, dude? I probably would have been, like, I don't know, so embarrassed. I probably wouldn't even ask for help. I probably would have just tried to, like, cover it up. So gross. Hey, Sarah, thanks for the call. You're killing me. Mark Kotze just came into the studio. He's sitting down. You hearing these stories, man? Did you get to hear some of these? Dude. So gnarly. You ever do anything like that? You ever break anything, you know, during your career? mess yourself up in the end? Unfortunately, no. The only thing that's been messed up with me has been my back. Really? Yeah. So I've been able to escape all these horror stories. So gross. Well, I'll never have to worry about the nail gun because I wouldn't know where to start with a nail gun. I can't even change a light bulb, so I'm pretty good. A nail gun to me is like a hot iron poker. I don't want to touch it because... I'm not touching it, man. I don't want something. Like, I know myself. I know my limits. I know my boundaries. I know. It's got a safety on it. Who cares? Obviously not. I'll mess the safety up, dude. No, you won't.
If you don't take the safety off, most of these guys are probably, you know, in construction, so they're just trying to take out all the shortcuts. Right. Just make it quick. They take the safety off. Just leave the safety on you and wear safety glasses. You'll be fine. People forget to leave the safety on when they're pulling the trigger on a gun, don't they? I know. But this one, they have to actually put it down on something. It pushes it down, and it only, where the nail comes out, it's like, boop, they pull it back up, and it's over. Those things are so powerful. I will never use one. I can promise you. All right, last one, and then we're talking to Mark, and I want Mark to tell us about that. What's that drug called again? It's called Toradol. Okay, we'll talk to him about it in just a second. M1 What What from San Diego, are you there? Yes, I am. Tell us what you did. I was climbing a fence at my friend's house, visiting him. Decided to, well, I was visiting my friend's house, decided to leave, and there was a cast iron fence that I had to get over. Cast iron fence? Cast iron fence. Wearing sandals, and it was kind of, I had my feet stuck between. Oh, that'll do. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That'll do. That'll do. How did you... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Question, wait, wait, wait. How did you detach?
God, dude. He had to pull with his... You probably got that surge of adrenaline that you get that gives you superhuman strength. You probably got that because when you go into fight or flight, you got to do something like that. As a five-year-old, I was climbing over a cyclone fence. It's the wire one. Yeah. And it had little needles all on top of it. Yeah. I climbed up and I was climbing over and I slipped. and it stabbed right in both my arms. I had to hang there. I couldn't get him off, and I just hung there until my dad came and pulled me off the fence. We talked to a girl that knew Jay when Jay was growing up, and she said that Jay was pretty much known for doing crazy injury stuff. He was always into something. He was always into something. My mom tripped over one of those fences he's talking about, and her earring caught on the fence, and it just... Oh, God, dude. Right through the earlobe. You guys know my famous... Ring story. Yes. And we don't need to hear it again. We don't want to hear it. Tell it. This is the last one. This is the last one. Promise. I got a friend who's a firefighter and noticed that he doesn't wear a wedding ring, but he's married. I said, hey, dude, just between you and me, what gives? He said, oh, yeah, I don't wear rings anymore. I said, why not? He said, well, when I was in high school,
I was joking around out on the playground kind of deal. You know, it's not a playground, but whatever. They had one of those tether balls. You know, the tether ball. It's got the long string and a ball on the end of it and you just hit it. Yep. Well, he wanted to show off to his buddies. Show them what kind of vertical range he had. Hell of a tether ball player. Yeah. So he jumped up as high as he could and wanted to tap the top. He wanted to tap the top of the tetherball pole. Except that his class ring caught onto the tetherball pole. And it basically, well, just pulled the skin and the tissue clean off. Right down to the bone. Now, that would have been bad enough.
But he hung there. Yes. Yeah. That got Katsi. That got Katsi. It'll get you. He hung there. And they had to cut. See, he didn't have the strength to get that ring off. So he had to wait while they fired, you know, paramedics came and took him off. Excuse me? Of the tetherball. Easily one of the worst. That's pretty bad. All right. So, okay. The drug is called, Mark, what is the drug called? It's called Torto. What's it for? What do they give it to athletes for? It's basically to mask whatever type of pain you're in for, you know, initial amount, you know, two, three, four hours. It's a high dosage of, I mean, I'm not a medical person. Right. But I'd bend over in a heartbeat for a shot. So, you know, Toradol's my friend. As an athlete, Toradol's my friend, for sure. So, in other words, if you, let's say you sprained an ankle, it's not broken, but you sprained it.
and you still need to play, they can give you a shot of this, and that, you won't feel it? Yeah, and it's a drug that doesn't make you sleepy, tired, doesn't slow your reactions down. It's just to knock that edge off so that you can mentally focus on what you have to do. I mean, we play at a high level where people expect us to perform at our best. And when your body doesn't feel right, you don't necessarily perform at your best. So it helps you maintain that. mental approach and that level that you have to compete at. Now, do they shoot you in the area that's messed up? No. They can shoot you right in the butt. In the butt? Yeah. So, I don't get it. Is it a mental thing? No, it's not a mental thing. It definitely, you know, it would be like taking Vicodin. But if you take a Vicodin, you're going to be like, oh, dude. Right, right, right. Let's just chill out and sit on the bench. So this keeps you sober and pain-free. I would go... Mostly pain free. I mean, it's not like, you know, putting a steroid in you that's just going to make you feel great. Right. You know, but it's definitely a pain, a form of a pain medication that takes that takes that edge off. And do you like football? I love football. Did you see the playoffs this weekend? I watched a little bit of the playoffs. Yes. Did you see the Gronkowski? Did you see it? I saw it. That was probably a tort all moment.
I don't know what they gave him. It was sponsored by Tordall. Yes, this bend sponsored by Tordall. All I know is that that dude's ankle was shaped like an L. The doctor walking him up the tunnel is actually... team physician for the Boston Red Sox as well. His name's Dr. Gill. So I'm sure Dr. Gill put a little magic potion or something in an injection that got him back on that field. Four plays later, he's lining up. And on the goal line, I'm like, oh my God, what a beast. Now, this is what I'm guessing though. You get the tortle. And you're able to go back out there and perform and mentally you're in the game. I'm just wondering how you feel. The next day, when the Tordal's worn off. Like you want another shot of Tordal. Oh, dude. Or a couple hours later, right? Yeah, I mean, generally, it wears off after a couple hours. An adrenaline mixed with Tordal? Yes. Being in the AFC Championship game? Right. Yeah. Mark Kotze is hanging out in the studio with us. When the Tordal wears off, then there's...
The pills. Then you just go straight into the pill box. Right, right, right. Gosh, darn. These guys got to get on the field. You got to mix the right potions. It's got to be the potions. It's muscle relaxers. It's, you know, Vicodin. Right. You know, there's a trick to it all. Hey, man, listen. It's no wonder that a lot of guys will end up hooked on stuff because, like, in Brett Favre's book. I don't know if you ever read Brett Favre's book. Dude said he got so hooked on Vicodin. He said he was taking so many Vicodin per day that he would actually get sick. The Vicodins would fall in his hand. He'd rinse them off on the sink and take them again. That's hardcore, man. That's hardcore. It's hardcore. Brett got hit a lot. Yeah. Brett got hit a lot. And he had a streak going of some, you know, games, you know. And there was a reason that he had a streak going. Yep. You know, he was able to stay in that thing for a while. And Mark. One of the things that Woods was saying, you know, athletes, I think you just, there's something different mentally in the mind of an athlete. You're not going to, most, I'm going to say most, I say 99.9% of all athletes, even if they're hurt, they don't care. As a professional, you don't care. You go back out.
100% accurate, especially for football. I mean, you've got a locker room full of guys that expect you to be on the field, and they'll hold you accountable for sure. Baseball, they'll hold you accountable a little bit, you know. It's not as, I guess, as much of an environment in that locker room that guys just point you out, call you out for not being on the field because football is a little more aggressive than baseball, you know. We hold people accountable in that locker room when they say their hamstring's a little tight and they can't get on the field. I mean, come on. What's a hamstring? Yeah. Let's go. Now, I guarantee you, Mark Kotze, that I am going to give you questions during this interview that you've probably not been asked, but it's because I do not know a lot about the game of baseball. Woods, on the other hand, does. We do know that Woods knows the game of baseball. Yes, he does. Well, he's a semi-professional. Did you know that about him? Well... I mean, we do have that great story of being in the hospital room. My wife did remind me of that last night. Oh, make sure you bring that up. Were you there? No, he wasn't, but his wife Jamie was. By the way, she did give you a big compliment yesterday. What did she say? She said you were cute. I couldn't believe that. It's the same thing you were saying about his wife, wasn't it? His wife's beautiful. He knows his wife's beautiful. Jamie Kotze is...
You know. She sounds cute. You just made my ear. Jamie Kotze, Mark Kotze's wife, is a unicorn. Yeah, she is. She's a unicorn. She's a unicorn. Now, what is a unicorn? This is a phrase that I coined years ago. A unicorn is someone that is so rare that when you see them, it's almost like if you saw a unicorn running across the street. Because they're so rare that you go. Was that a freaking unicorn? Unicorn, wasn't it? Was that a unicorn? And so when you first see Mark's wife, you go, well, I can't look directly at you. Staring at the sun. Staring at the sun, exactly. She's that pretty. She is. And she said that Woods is cute. Yeah, it was kind of my mind. I said, are you sure you remember that?
You're like that fat guy in the tuxedo at that thing. Now, you realize all day long he's going to go, she thought I was cute. All year long. A cute, like a fat Chris Farley. She probably thought Chris Farley was cute too. Yeah, so Mark, how did she say it? I don't even remember how it came up. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. Woods is going to think about that all day long. And by all day, I mean all year. Okay, so. Mark is now a San Diego Padre. This is your second stint with the Padres, right? Yes, it is. And it's nice to be home. Beautiful. But the last time I saw you was at a charity benefit. And then between that time, and I remember at that time, you were looking into maybe getting into some broadcasting and doing some TV and stuff like that. And the next thing I know, you're a Milwaukee brewer. It happened quick after that event. You know, I thought about... I thought about being done, and there were a few opportunities to play, and they come to camp. We'll invite you. You can try out. I said, I'm over trying out. 15 years, I'm not going to try out for anything. I'll go try out for broadcasting and see how that works. So, you know, Milwaukee called. There was an opportunity to play with a great team.
I took off, and we had a special group, man. We really had a special group last year in Milwaukee. We fell a little short to St. Louis, but I had more fun last year in baseball, and I'm anticipating having that much fun here in San Diego this year being home. Yeah. They had such a great run last year, man. Such a great run. And getting in the playoffs like that. Hitting a bomb in the playoffs. What's up? You forgot about the scorpion. I wasn't going to bring it up. I wasn't going to bring it up because I just want to focus on the home run you hit. The positives. That's right. That's positives. What is a scorpion? What is that? Well, a scorpion dive happened in the first inning of game four. Chris Carpenter on the mound. Big game. The series was 2-1 St. Louis. I got on base. I walked. It was first and second. One out. Prince Fielder's up. Key moment. First inning. Momentum's on our side. Ball's hit off Prince's bat. It's kind of left center. It's dying. It's dying. I'm thinking it's getting down. I'm going to score. I'm so amped. Maybe it was the tortle. I don't know. I'm going to score. I come a little bit too far towards third base. The center fielder makes a running catch. He throws it back to second.
Everything in my body is saying I need to be safe at second base. I got to get back. I have to be safe. Yes. Full bore, heavy head, chin. Oh, my gosh. I had seven scrapes after this slide. It was great. I needed a tortle injection after the first day. It was awesome. If I didn't have a goatee on my chin, the camera would have been there focused all game long. Dude, there's a picture of it on the internet. Chin, elbow, shoulder. both tops of the knees, I don't know, somewhere else that I can't describe, and the ego was shot. Oh, my gosh. But I didn't bury myself in the hole. I came up the very next inning or the third inning, first pitch he threw, I hit it over into the bullpen, and we were down three to two. So I kind of redeemed myself, but yet, you know, I mean, it was an embarrassing moment. Did you hear about it in the locker room at all from any of you guys? So, David Wells. is doing the TBS broadcast. After the game, me and my family are sitting in the lobby of a hotel. Yeah. And you know Boomer, big, boisterous, just in the middle of a hotel full of St. Louis fans, right? Right across from the ballpark. Yeah. He comes in with the broadcast team and just as loud as he can. Hey, Kotze, nice slide!
Captain Callout. Captain Callout. That is fantastic. We'll be talking to Mark, asking Mark all kinds of questions. Boomer, by the way, is an M1. Yeah. David Wells is a big-time M1. We met him at the same thing that you were at, and he's a good dude, man. He is. All right, so we'll take a quick timeout, come back. We're going to talk to Mark Kotze, and I have to ask you, I have to. This is my job. It's what I do for a living. So when we come back, I got to see what it was like when you heard the news about Ryan Braun, your teammate. He was tested for performance-enhancing drugs. See how nervous I am even saying it in front of Mark? I know. Because I got to ask him about his teammate. Well, he won the MVP. He's MVP of the National League. Yes. Best players in the game. And I have to ask, so we'll do it when we come back. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. Good job. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Benbridge Jeweler wants to make your dream wedding a reality. Enter the Benbridge $100,000 Wedding of the Century Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Forevermark and Tag Heuer. You could win $100,000 in jewelry, cash, and honeymoon prizes. Visit Benbridge Jeweler on Facebook and enter today. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change.
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This report, it's brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calorie menu. Great tasty meal starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. Come in. Try one today. Well, looks like we've got a little activity here. One on an accident on the 15 southbound past Friars Road. They're waiting on a tow truck there. Somebody's walking around on the 8 westbound at North Mullison Avenue. And then you've got a stretch of slowing here through Chula Vista on the 5 northbound from 24th Street to about 8th Street, 23 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer from batteries to tires. Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego. This is The Mikey Show. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. So, Marc Cotte's in the studio, and we're just talking about injuries and...
What it's like. And I told him, I said, you know, one of the things that I like to talk about with athletes is the exclusivity of the job. And the reason is because there's just so many, you know, the people that are listening right now, 99.99999% are not going to know what it's like to be in a locker room celebrating a playoff victory. It's better than the opposite. It's better than the opposite. It's better than the opposite. But, gosh, I mean, at some point when you're looking back on your career, are those the moments? Is that it? Is that the stuff that you'll miss the most? I think that's the stuff I'll miss the most. Just walking in the locker room at 2 o'clock in the afternoon and getting naked in front of everybody. What better place to do that than men's locker room? That's the one reason that I don't think I'd be able to be a professional athlete. That's what you were going to be until you realized that you had to do that. Well, yeah. I was either going to have a career as a jockey. I obviously could have made the world's fattest jockey. Or a horse.
Or a horse. Yeah, I could be one of the two. Okay, so weird question. You've played for Florida, San Diego, Oakland, Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Milwaukee. Out of all of the teams that you've played for, which of the teams had the fattest, coolest locker room? I thought you were going to say. Yeah. Where do you think it was going? I was going to say like the fattest player or pitcher. No, no, no. The fattest women in that town. That's got to be Boston. No, the coolest locker room. Coolest locker room. The Padre locker room is pretty sweet. Because it's newer? It really is. Yeah, it's new. It's got a ton of amenities that a lot of locker rooms don't have. Jacuzzis. Does it have free soda? Free soda. Do you get free Copenhagen if you want it? You do not. They will not supply Copenhagen. They get in trouble for that. You have to bring your own Copenhagen in. And Major League Baseball has implied a new rule which says no Copenhagen tends visible.
Really? Yeah. MLB's taking a stance on tobacco. How will you, how will guys, will they put it in a little, you know, new MLB? Down in the helmet rack. You know, you just tuck it down in the helmet rack, go and get your pinch. But when you're out in the field, it can't be in your back pocket. It can't be anywhere visible, which I think is a good thing. That's a good idea. You need to be visible for it. We don't really need to display that, oh, we're cool. We got a tin in our back pocket. This is sweet. Now, here's the deal with that. Does everybody, what's the percentage of Copenhagen? I'd say more guys do Copenhagen and Skoll, probably, than the Leaf. The Leaf stuff is... Redman of the past. Redman, Levi, yeah. I think that's kind of... Old school. Lost its clout amongst guys. In old school baseball cards, you just see a wad of shoes. There is no human that's playing in Major League Baseball that would dare stick a bandit in their mouth, right? Yeah, there is. There is? Wow. They're not considered... Yeah, the bandit pouches? Pouch, yeah. Really? Yeah. They're not considered like a weenie if they're doing a pouch?
I mean, you would think that he's like, thanks, Mike. He dips, you know, skull apple. Because Woods is a Copenhagen guy. And to me, just the thought of it makes my head, makes me dizzy. I can eat it out of the can. It's the best. It's not good for you. And don't do it. And if you're listening right now, kids, don't do it. It's not good for you. And don't do it. Close. proximity to your co-worker because they might drink it by accident. Which she did. Don't tell me you've ever taken his cup. She drank mine. You owe her more than you ever could pay her. It is a true story. Mark Kotze is in the studio with us. Here's another thing that a lot of people won't be able to say is that they're going to face Tim Lincecum quite a bit. You will be facing Tim Lincecum. The bigger the name, even when it's a big name like that. Does it at all? Because I remember one time before Adrian went to the Red Sox, I asked him, what percentage of the game is in between your ears? He said 85. He believes 85% of the game is in your head. So that brings this question to me. Does that get in your head when you know that a guy has got more stuff? He's like a big name? It's actually...
It's encouraging to go out there and play against a big name. For me, at this point in my career, I'd rather face Carpenter, Holiday. We'll leave out Kershaw because he's left-handed. But Lincecum, Kane, I'd rather face those guys than someone that I don't know their name. The guy that I don't know their name will dominate me because I've never seen his stuff. I have no idea what he's going to throw me. I have no idea which way his ball goes because the ball goes, if you say in layman terms, if the ball sinks or if it cuts, you've got to know that going into your at-bat. You can watch video and you can study it, but until you step your cleats in the batter's box and you see the release point and what the ball is doing, you have no idea unless you face a guy. So if you face a guy, Give me them. I'll take anybody that I face before. You'll take your shots. You'll take your chances. Yeah, I'll definitely take my chances. And you're right. 85% of the game is mental. At our level, everybody is there because they have the skill set to play. So you eliminate the skill set. Now, the All-Stars, they have a different set of skills. The Hall of Famers, forget about it. They don't communicate the same way that we do as a good everyday baseball player. They're different. So Tim Linscombe, though, when you face him,
You've obviously played against him, and so you know his stuff. You step into the batter's box, and you actually have a little shot of, like, I'm going to get you? You always got to have the confidence. If you don't have the confidence, you can't step in the batter's box. You're already beat. So you definitely go in there like, yeah, I got this guy. You know what? For me, at this point in my career, I'd rather face the best. Give me the best. Give that guy that's kind of struggling. A little bit. The everyday guy that's going through maybe, you know, a two for 20 streak in, you know, the week. Give him the day off, man. Don't let him go out there. Because you face those guys, one for four is a good night. They're the dominant pitchers. So one for four, one for three with a walk. You know, I mean, you've done your job. That's nuts. But, you know, it's something that you, the longer you play, you realize, all right, this is sweet. So Mark Kotze is in the studio with us, and he's a San Diego Padre. And, okay, so I told everybody I had to ask you about Ryan Braun. Now, Ryan Braun, he's MVP, okay? So, I mean, this guy is just talked about. He's at the highest level of, you know, you could beat. I said it last year before any of this came out. I said, Ryan Braun is a guy that you take your kids to the ballpark and say,
Son, you've seen Ryan Braun play. He's that good, and boy, was he good in those playoffs. Oh, my God. So he tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Now, first question. You all know that you're under the microscope. You all know that you're going to have to pee. Everybody knows it. How is it possible that somebody gets popped for PEDs if you all? I mean, it's the most you're under the biggest microscope in the world. I love how you ask that question because you set me up to just blah, which I'm going to do. You know, here's the backdrop of it all. We have meetings every spring training. They come in and they tell you if you are going to any doctor, if you're going to a nutritionist, if you're doing anything.
outside of this locker room that we do not know about, you need to inform us. That's pretty clear, right? That's pretty black and white. If you have herpes, and you're going privately to your physician, you better tell us. Whatever you're doing. If you're going to a nutrition that tells you that he's got the greatest vitamins in the world, and he's mixing them in a juicer and everything's organic, you better know that... He may be not telling the truth. Right. But it's your responsibility to know what the hell you're putting in your body. Basically, if you go to Jamba Juice, you need to report it. You might need to report it. I mean, it's that type of stuff. If you're taking a supplement, you better bring the supplement in. You better have the organization that processes all of our nutritional supplements and says whether or not it's tainted or not. There's stuff out there that you can buy at GNC that's tainted. And you'll test positive. Well, it's your fault. Yeah. Because you should have told him. So do I think Ryan Braun should serve his 50-game suspension? Hell, yes, I do think Ryan Braun should serve his 50-game suspension. Now, is he my teammate, and do I love him, and do I feel that we would have not gotten where we'd gotten without Ryan Braun in our lineup? Yeah. We wouldn't have made the playoffs without Ryan Braun in our lineup. He put us on his back. He's unbelievable. Put us on their backs to get us there. Wow. Did I know that Ryan Braun was taking performance-hancing drugs during the season? No.
But his BP was tremendous. So there was, you know, always that question of, man, this guy goes out every day. And to me, you know. Is it one of those deals, dude, where he's like, hey, listen, I'm Ryan Braun. They're not going to bust me. No, not at all. Because they bust the biggest names. Yeah, everyone knows. They go after the biggest names. I mean, you go in there to pee, and it would be like me sitting down at this table, dropping my drawers and peeing in front of everybody. I mean, the guy's closer than you all are. to me right now watching you pee. So you're not getting away with anything. So it's not a deal where they go... Go in there and take a look. Right in front of somebody. Yeah, right here, right now. Maybe you don't have to go. You have to wait. Now this happened to me. Now my family's all at the game. It's 10.30 at night, game just ended. I come off the field and the guy grabs me and says, you need to pee. And I said, I just pinch hit in the ninth inning. Before I pinch hit, I went to the bathroom. I don't have to go to the bathroom. Right. Well, we have to wait until you can give us a sample. No. I walk outside the locker room. I tell my wife and kids, hey, you guys might want to leave. I might be here for a little while. No, we'll stay. So I finally get to go to the bathroom. Yeah. My sample is too clear. There's not enough weight to it to be tested. Guess what? You still have to sit there and give another sample. No way. Wow. So, dude, and the guy's standing there.
I couldn't leave the room. I couldn't eat anything. They'll give you a sports drink. It's somewhat annoying because you'd rather do it before the game. You'd rather have at least somewhat of a notification, but they think that you're going to do something to taint your sample. What can you do to taint your sample? You're not going to eat an orange and test positive for performance-enhancing drugs. One of my great friends said it. pretty well the other day. He said that Ryan Braun should box his MVP trophy up. Wow. And send it to the general manager in LA and present it to Matt Kemp. To Matt Kemp. And you would know who I'm talking about. Wow. Mike Sweeney. My man. My man Mike Sweeney said that. Really? Yeah. What did that mean? What he is saying is Matt Kemp finished second in the MVP race. Yeah. Had a phenomenal year. Ryan Braun won the award, and now after he won the award, he tested positive. So Mike Sweeney and Mark Otze are saying, look, box that sucker up, send it to L.A., give it to Matt Kemp. It's his MVP. Do the right thing. Do the right thing. Disqualify yourself. They take stuff away in college like they took Reggie Bush's trophy. Oh, yeah, they did. You know, I mean, he's going through arbitration right now, so maybe we're too early to judge. Right. He's fighting it. There was something. Maybe the test.
He would be the first one ever that they overturned. He would be. He would be the first one ever that fought it. And if they overturn it, he would be the first guy ever. Well, I mean, it's like he said. I mean, you've got to report everything you're doing. I just, I'm wondering what, it's just pure ignorance at that point. Absolutely. It's just pure ignorance. And probably a little of arrogance, I would imagine, too, of like, maybe he's not shooting, you know, tests into his butt. Maybe he was taking something that was tainted. But like Mark said, you got to let them know. You got to let them know what you're doing. And here's the deal. If you are knowingly taking a performance enhancing drug, I'm wondering when the guy says, hey, it's time. How do you feel? Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, you must be coming out of your skin. I mean, that is that's gnarly. I'll tell you this about performance enhancing drugs. And this is the way I view it, because I started my career in 1997, 1997, 1998. McGuire and Sosa had the greatest run ever for ever competing in the home run title. So what I've learned and through my career at this point now, I'm 36. At that point, I was 20. I've learned.
my philosophy or belief on what performance-enhancing drugs do. So in that part of my career, we were witnessing guys at 36 to 40 have the best years of their career, put up the best numbers that they had ever done. I'm 36. I'm looking at my career going, okay, I'm not on the upswing of my career right now. I mean, I'm a utility player hanging on as a pinch hitter and a veteran that hangs out and helps these guys learn the game. But what you had was you had 36-year-olds with all of the knowledge that we have at this point in the game, 17 years of knowledge of playing this game and how to be successful. And what the performance enhancing drugs did was they took their body and rewound it back to about 26. So every day we compete, we play this game 162 games in 181 days. I mean, the day off is...
Like you're traveling or, you know, you thank God for a day off because it's every day. So your body can't recover. The older you get, everyone knows, the older you get, you don't heal. Right. You just don't recover. So these guys were recovering like they were 26, 25. So it didn't necessarily increase their strength. Yeah, but they did get giant, though, man. Some of them did. Well, dude, Barry Bonds, he's the exception. Nobody knows what that guy was taking. But it doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to be able to hit the ball consistently. Right. But... If you've played for 16 years, you've hit it consistently. That's the only reason you're around. Exactly. And you know the game and you know what people are going to do to you. The more experience you have in anything in life, the more knowledge you have, the more successful you're going to be. That's what these guys did. So it wasn't that they were increasing their strength. Yes, they increased their strength. But they felt good every single day they stepped on the field at 36.
I can tell you this, man. We worked out yesterday at the stadium, and I woke up this morning. I was real happy because I was only a little sore, you know. Now, what does that mean, workout? What did you do yesterday? We went out. We got some guys, new guys in town, which is great. We're kind of building this, you know, chemistry starting now. Talking to Mark Kotze. Yeah, and so we went out and hit. We played catch. We ran, you know, on the field. I mean, we can do that because we live in this. Beautiful San Diego as opposed to Pittsburgh or Chicago where it's, you know, 20 degrees. Right. So you were at Petco Park running on the field. Yeah. Sprints? Yep. Ran sprints. Took some BP. Took some BP. Actually hit one out in BP. That a kid. That ain't an easy ballpark. I heard it couldn't be done. Right. You know, we did it yesterday. You taking some grounders at first? We're waiting on the ground balls. Waiting on the grounders. Okay. You know, hamstrings probably weren't ready for that. a regular guy and you in terms of hitting the ball, how come you're able to do that? Like I said, I've done it my whole life. I've done it 16 years. I know, but there's a bunch of dudes that do it for a long time, but they can't do it at a professional level. Do you know why you're able to hit the ball so damn good? I don't. What a trip. No. What's your lifetime? 280? Just under 280. 279, I think it is. I need one good year to pitch hitting. Bro, and I'll tell you what. I got a question. 280?
In the major leagues for 16 years, that's a hell of a ball player, period. That's a hell of a ball player. Question. Yes. What gaming system do you have? As far as like PlayStation? What do you have? We have a PS3. We have just recently hooked up, which my wife and my kids are so pumped. Old school Nintendo. Oh, nice. My kids love that. Duck hunt gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Punch out. Okay, now, but you got a PS3. Yes. And you played baseball on it. Not really. No? He plays professionally. I know, but that was why. Check this out. It's harder to hit on a PS3 than it is to hit a baseball on the field. That's what I... See, Dale Earnhardt Jr., I'll do it. Dale Earnhardt Jr., I won't hit. If you could pitch underhand to me, underhand, I won't hit it. We'll get you to make contact. I can hit the bat with the ball. Dale Earnhardt Jr. says that the NASCAR game, that he can actually play that NASCAR game and that the same bumps, that they've digitally put the same bumps in the road that they experienced, that they just digitized it. You think he's telling the truth? Yeah, but maybe I'm just, I might.
You're a sweet kid. Sweet kid. You're a sweet kid. I might just be a sweet kid. So when you play the baseball on the PS3, there is absolutely nothing similar to it other than it's a little baseball dude. I'd have to say that if you're talking about hitting. Yeah. No. No. If you're talking about the way the ball moves. Yes. I think they can emulate that with the pitchers. And it does look like that. On the TV. On the TV. Probably. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a gamer. Yeah. So, I mean, if I'm a gamer, I'm sitting playing Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo. That's awesome. That's killer. Or Duck Hunt. Yeah. Have you done the Wii, though, where you actually swing? I have done the Wii. Is that more like actually swinging? That's so cartoony. It's so cartoony. It is. It is cartoony. Yeah. It's very cartoony. I don't think there's anything that can emulate stepping into a batter's box, even the batting cage. No. It's worthless. So let me ask you this with the hitting. Do you think that it slows down for you?
I think I slow things down. I think I have, you know, the reputation of seeing the ball helps. Gosh darn, because I just wonder, like, how is it that in a fraction of a second, I mean, the same amount of time that if you have a camera and go, in that fraction of a second, your brain has to go, oh, this is within my chest and my knees, and it's coming at a velocity that I'm pretty sure I can make contact with. I know where it's going to be. I think I'll swing. Well, what Mark does now, like he said, you know, being that utility guy and maybe not playing seven games in a row is so much harder than being an everyday player. Because let's say he's sitting and he's watching and he's watching. And they're like, Akatsi, grab a bat. You're going up in the ninth against their closer and you've got to get on base. Guy's been sitting there for three hours.
He's got to get up then cold. If he's got four at-bats against the guy, he's like, all right, I've seen everything this guy's got. It is so much more of a challenge to do what he does now than really to be an everyday player. I love it. Since we can't be on the field, when you're in the batter's box, do you ever talk smack to the pitcher? No. Not to the pitcher? No. To the catcher? No. I mean, I've never really talked smack. Did the catchers ever talk smack to you? No, there's only one catcher that would probably talk smack. AJ Pruszynski, who was one of my teammates. He'll probably tell you nice swing when you swing at the curveball. Really? That's awesome. Oh, that would get in my head. He would say that? If he doesn't like you, he's definitely going to let you know. But that's not a very... It's not common. It's not common. No. I've got a question that I've always wanted to know. So you get a single and you're on first base, and I always see everybody... Just Gavin over there. What are you talking about? Your kids, your family, the season? What are you talking about? A combination of it all depends on your relationship with the guy. You know, if I get over to the first base and it's Albert Pujols, we're probably not speaking. But if I get over there and...
It's Derek Lee, who I broke into big leagues with in Florida, and our families are friends. It's, you know, how are the kids doing? Would you really say that? Oh, yeah, definitely. You'll be sad. How are you swinging it? How are you swinging it? How's it going? Where are you guys traveling to? If you're in their city, have you got any new restaurants to go eat at? I mean, seriously, you're catching up a little bit when you can. That's awesome. Riveting. I have said before that if there was a service that I could have on my TV, that I had to pay, let's say, $300 a month. But I had access to the bench, the pitcher's mound where the manager comes out. Yes. First base, second base. I would pay whatever it costs because I want to hear them be like, hey, you got nothing, man. You're throwing crap up there, dude. And he's like, no, I got one more, dude. Let me get one more guy. That's. Major League Baseball has talked about doing that, actually. They're trying to get players to wear mics. They're trying to get that marketing thing. And a lot of players won't want to do it. Really? They just don't want to do it, yeah. I mean, it's not all clean language either. Yeah, I'm sure it isn't. Mark Kotze, he's got to get out of here at 8.30, so we've got to let him go. I'm going with him to practice, so I'll see you tomorrow. I'm sure you are. Mark, thanks for coming in. Thanks, brother.
This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is the... Supported by our friends at AIS Insurance. What's up there, Chupacabra? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday night, go to the Casbah for the Howells CD release party. Family Wagon, and Jesse LaMonica, and the Dime Novels will play, too. Saturday night, you can see Not a Surf at 4th and B with Republic of Letters. Next week, Mute Mather at 4th and B, and Dr. Dog plays the belly up February 7th. On the 10th, FM 94.9 presents Young and the Giant at Soma, the Freya at House of Blues February 16th, and Craig Finn of the Hold Steady's at the Casbah February 19th. And still to come, shows from Flocking Molly, Lag Wagon, Colts, Portugal Demand, Tiger Army, Elvis Costello, Rise Against, M Ward with Firehose, Madness, Buzzcocks, and Two Weekends of Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com.
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In business, every day is a compromise between what you want and what your budget will allow. Face it, compromise stinks. But with Staples and HP, you don't have to compromise your printing with no-name cartridges. Switch to original HP and get up to $30 in Staples rewards. Just recycle up to three HP generic cartridges and buy HP ink or toner on the same day. That's $10 in rewards for each cartridge recycled. Switch to HP. The number one brand in printing is the number one value. Staples. That was easy. One-time only. Offer ends 225.12. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, and Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. This report is brought to you by Mercedes-Benz. It's your opportunity to make the car in your driveway the car of your dreams. For a short time, you can lease a brand new C-Class, only $349 a month, but only at your local Mercedes-Benz dealer. Well, the 94 seems to be a pretty tough one here. The 94 westbound at 25th Street due to an earlier accident. And you've got a solid, solid backup behind it from the 5 south to the 805 south. From 11 miles to the top speeds, about 20 miles an hour. Problem here, an animal on the 5 northbound at Grand Avenue. It's not moving, so I'm assuming it's probably dead. 805 northbound before the 52 eastbound. We have an accident, no injuries there. And back up here.
on Otay Mesa Road at Britannia Road. It is a side street, but it's over by that 905. So you're probably going to find some delays in that area. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners with the new year upon us. Now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires, Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jake. No, I didn't cry. Come on, man. On FM 94.9. Woods was borderline ready to smack me out there because Mark Kotze was going, hey, dude, Mikey, seriously. Come take some BP with us. Yeah. And I, eh. And Woods goes, Woods is looking at me, and he's giving me this look like, dude. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you, sir? And so I'm walking back in, and Kotze goes, no, no, no, dude. I'm serious. I'm serious. And I go, I don't know. Oh, you got to. Mike? I'll do whatever you want. I'll watch your stupid movie that you want me to watch with George Seagal. That stupid movie that you're watching.
Yeah, Where's Papa? Oh, my gosh. You're going to watch Where's Papa? I'll watch Where's Papa three times if I get to go to Pesco. If you watch Where's Papa, I'll go. Done. Shake on it. You got it. We get to be a blast. But we get to take back practice. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll film it. I will go supervise. Yes. Oh, I want to swing a bat. The guys have to wear their pants, though. The baseball pants. Would it be dorky if I wore my baseball? Yeah. What if I wore my entire Tipsy Crows uniform? Well, I told Woods, I said, you know, dude, at least you have a uniform because you actually know how to play baseball. I don't know how to do any of that stuff. I'll help you. You can train for the batting practice. Great. You can practice for practice. Dude, I got a real simple way. That you just put it on your shoulder. And when it comes, you just explode to the ball. And when I'm slumping and I'm not hitting, that's what I do. I just change everything up. I go back to Little League style. And no problem. I just want to see what the locker room looks like. And I want to throw them. I want to throw him some balls and let him just yak balls off me. You know what I mean? I want to pick that telephone up that's in the dugout and look at it. You want to call the bullpen? I want to see what that thing looks like.
All the weird stuff. Yeah. Dude, but it's something that not everybody gets to see, so that's cool. I want to stand on the picture now and just look at it. Yeah. Yeah. I want it. Yeah, because then you'd be like, whoa, this is what it looks like to these guys? Just do a 360 view and go, man. Dude, look at this. This is their job. This is what they do. It's funny. The groundskeepers are so picky, they don't even want you to walk out there on the field. You don't worry about it. Thanks, Jay. Thanks for ruining our dream. I mean, you're with the players. Thanks for taking our dream. You're with the players. That's not true, though. They've done the fan day. Yeah, they do fan fest. And they let people walk all over the place. Man, they get so angry regardless. Maybe during the season. I do, too. He doesn't. Mike, listen, that may be your dream, but I'm just going to tell you, I've actually been in those dugouts, and you'll get herpes just walking in there. I produced Sky Show, and I had to walk out there one time. Well, maybe they don't want fireworks on there. No, no, we put fireworks everywhere. Oh, by the way, Mike, standing on home plate, it's almost like smelling turds. Yeah. Gosh, he's a dream killer. He's a dream killer. You're the dream killer. I am not the dream killer. He's a dream killer. Your dreams were over long ago.
Hey, do you watch The Artist, Jay? I watched The Artist last night. Nominated for Best Picture. This is how dumb I am. Why? I didn't realize, I knew it was black and white. I didn't realize it was a silent film. I didn't know that. We said it on the air, FM 949. I don't remember us saying that it was a silent film. No, I said it. Oh, my gosh. It's not only silent. I thought, okay, well, at least there'll be, you know, captions at the bottom. Subtitles. But that's not silent. But, well, they do. Like, every once in a while, they talk, they talk, they talk. And all of a sudden, they'll throw this, like, three or four words up. Oh, boy. And you'll go, oh, okay, I see where we're going. You go through the whole thing. I actually enjoyed it in the end. You were high on marijuana cigarettes. Of course you was. Maybe I had a vodka. Vodka? I was probably in the hot tub, and I probably yelled over to my wife, Kim, baby, can you make me a vodka and a lime? This is a porter. Cops A just texted me and said, you're out, by the way. Jay's not allowed to come. That's a true statement. That is a true statement. He is not allowed to come. Dream killing? Yeah, he's a dream killer. He's a dream killer. I also posted a picture of his wife on the Facebook page. In her underwear. I know. Lauren goes. How did I even get that? Lauren goes, Jay! Jay! What a monster. Just a dream killing pervert. Hey, if it's available, you know, I want to make sure the M1's get it. Oh, you're such a weirdo. So, wait a minute.
No talking, no subtitles? I don't want to ruin it for you. Okay, don't tell me. Now I want to see it. It already ruined itself. Woods, you got to admit. Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all, this is a blanket statement that is a true statement. If a movie is nominated for Best Picture, it doesn't matter who you are, you'll most likely find a redeeming quality in it. False. It was fascinating. Name one. King's Speech. Almost fell asleep. Really? Yes, it's terrible. I won't even see The King's Speech because I'm afraid of falling asleep. See, by and large, I believe blanketly that you can watch a nominated film for Best Picture. And there's a reason it is, man. It's usually pretty good. Well, I get that, but I think it's a very artsy pick, right? It's a very artsy pick for the movie. Give me an example of an artsy picture. An artsy picture? Yeah. Magnolia was pretty artsy. Only the end of it. Only the end of it. You know, because it rains frogs. And that's obviously, nobody's supposed to get it. And it doesn't make sense to even the guy. The guy that wrote it was on cocaine probably when he wrote it. That's fair enough. I liked it. It had a lot of quality. It's amazing what they could do. It's amazing what they could do. Without talking. Without talking. Well. I mean, the story they told without really. And that seems really like it's a challenge.
Well, here's the thing, though. We have the ability to incorporate sound in movies now. So why are you trying to be all artsy fartsy and take it back? I'll tell you why. Because it's fun. It is not. Isn't it? How much fun was it when they incorporated talk into movies? Yeah. That's fun. If Charlie Chaplin could have sound, he would take sound. That's what it's about. It's about when they incorporated sound into movies. Oh, you just ruined it. Now I know sound's going to come into it at some point. You don't know that. Well, you just told me. You say wait and see. The artist. Mike, I loved the artist. I thought it was brilliant. Mike, I don't want to ruin it for you, but the girl dies right at the end. Oh, violent. He almost gave away the Descendants yesterday, too. Yeah, he ruined the Descendants for me. The twist of the movie is. Mike, it's what they call an arc, and what happens at the arc is when the whole plot just falls into place. Did you know in the sixth sense? That Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. The whole movie. You didn't even know it. But wait. Still see it. Go see it. Still go see it. I didn't give it away. Listen. I didn't give nothing away. And I think you'll still really enjoy the movie. But just know as you're watching it, Bruce Willis dead. He's dead. The whole damn time. Think about it. Think about it. I wish I saw dead people. Oh, wait. I already played that. I wish. Yes. He means that he wishes we were dead. Oh.
And sometimes wishing death upon your friends. It's just not funny, man. It's not cool. Yeah, it's not. Love that guy. I'm talking about Mark Kotze, not you. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. AIS, ladies and gentlemen, is going to save you money. Most likely they're going to save you money, and here's why. Because the average customer to AIS reports a savings of over $600 a year on their auto insurance. It's time. It's definitely time you give them a call. I've been talking about AIS for a long time, and many of you have heard it, but you put it off. Or it's one of those things that you kind of hear in the background, but you don't ever put the rubber doesn't meet the road. It needs to. Give them a call.
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Miss the world preview event of Touch after the American Idol auditions continue from Aspen. Fox Tonight. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. With H&R Block Office online, mobile, and block live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever, and however you like. H&R Block. Never settle for less. This report, it's brought to you by Mercedes-Benz. It's your opportunity to make the car in your driveway the car of your dreams. For a short time, you can lease a brand new C-Class for only $349 a month, but only at your local Mercedes-Benz dealer. Well, we've got a lot of slowing, a couple different accidents now on the 8 westbound before Taylor Street, an accident, no injuries, but you still have a pretty big backup behind it and in front of it. Both these cars are over on the right shoulder. Looks like a taxi cab's involved there. The 94 westbound at 25th Street, working on that all morning. And a delay, as you know, behind there from the 5 south all the way down to the 805 south. Those speeds start off at 11 miles an hour. They do progress to about 21 miles an hour. And towards La Mesa, the 125 northbound at the 94 east, it's about 24 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealer. With the new year upon us, now's a great time to bring your car to your neighborhood Toyota dealer. From batteries to tires.
Toyota's got you covered. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I have had enough. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Things happen. I got diarrhea. Woods. I have two speeds. I have stop and go. Lauren. So everybody knows how I feel about bottled water. I hate it. And Jay. They said there's breastfeeding out there. I was like, I'm in. Check, check. One, two, three, check. On FM 94.9. Mark Kodse was one of the best interviews we've ever had. Yeah. He was great. He's a great interview man. Nice guy. Super nice guy. He just texted me again about getting us out there. He's dead serious. Mike, stop saying no. Stop saying no. I did. I already did. No, you didn't. No, I stopped. Jared at createyourdesignonline.com is incredible. If you go to mikeyshow.com, you'll see his work. He really is amazing. He designed our entire website. Really cool. He did our business cards.
Well, he did my business cards. Yeah, I don't have any. Maybe we'd get you guys some. You think so? Yeah. He also did L.O.B.'s page for the Pussycat Dolls. That's right. So if you want... Yeah, that's right. Ladies, if a girl wants to be one of the Pussycat Dolls girls with L.O.B. up on stage... Meow. Go to... Isolate. Isolate, isolate. Go to... It's the least sexy meow I've ever heard. That's why it was great. Go to MikeyShow.com. And if you're a lady that wants to dance, just fill out the form and send it. Yes, sir. What is going on with the head coaching position in Oakland? Dude, they have made, they're finalizing the details, but they have made a hire for their new head coach, and it is the first defensive-minded coach since John Madden for the Oakland Raiders. Are you serious? His name is Dennis Allen. He was the defensive coordinator for the Denver Broncos last year and made them into a defense that was to be reckoned with. Interesting story is my wife cheered with his wife in high school.
Are you serious? It's hysterical. Whoa. Yeah. My wife cheered with Dennis Allen's wife. What a trip. Field pass. Wow. That would be pretty awesome. That would be pretty cool. I also wanted to mention that there is a giant golf tournament in town this week in La Jolla at Torrey Pines. It is the Farmer's Insurance Open, and it starts tomorrow. The first round starts tomorrow. So very cool. If you're driving around La Jolla, though, there's going to be some extra traffic for you. I could not plan it this year. Yeah. It's your back. My back. Yeah, your back. So I could not play in it this year. What's pretty cool is I'm going to go, I'm playing there Tuesday after the tournament, and I'll be playing on the conditions that these guys got to play in, which is cool. That is cool. Yeah, I'm excited. And I'm going to shoot probably 160. Easily. Easily 160. At Torrey Pines? Yeah. No, we're playing the South Course, which is the... Oh, there's two different courses. There's two. There's a north and south. We played the north last time. It's very difficult, but the south is the bad mamma jamma. That's the one that'll get you. Really? Yeah. That's the one that'll get you real good. Is it 18 holes, 18 holes? Yes. Whoa! It is the... Playing the north a couple weeks ago was the most beautiful course I've ever experienced. It's unbelievable. And now I'm playing the south. But the south is where the pros play. And they also play on the north, too. But...
The main, like the last two days when all the people have been cut, south only. Really? Yeah, it's going to be awesome. I learned stuff today. Yeah, you did. I learned an awful lot today. Soak it in, pal. The next story, I'm going to go ahead and ask you, if you're driving, to pull that seatbelt just a little bit tighter. Perfect. Because this next story is going to get you. Earlier, we were talking about what? Injuries? Right? Yep. Now, in terms of doctors and things like that, is there any type of doctor that you fear the most? What are the types of doctors that would come up that you would fear the most? Dentist. Without question. The number one. You are correct. Maybe a proctologist. Proctologist. Well. Stay out of there. Not too many people need to. Yeah, that's not a very fun one either. But the dentist is the number one. The dentist would have to be the number one.
Let me tell you about this story. When I read it, by the way, I wanted to check my own sources because I thought that it was too hideous to be true. I'll just read straight from the article. I'm just kind of begging you not to. Yeah. At this point. Sounds like the scene from A Bad Dream. You're in the dentist's chair for a scheduled root canal. Making matters worse, the dentist uses paper clips. instead of sanitary stainless steel posts during the procedure. That's right, L.O.B. And see, because he was using office supplies, it caused a little bit more pain and it led to infection in these people in Massachusetts. He pleaded guilty to Medicaid fraud and also for using paperclips during root canals. He's trying to save a buck.
Yeah. Charge them for the post. Literally a buck. He was trying to save money. Jay. His name is Michael Clare, and he is scheduled to be sentenced next Monday. To death, hopefully. Happened in New Bedford. New Bedford, Mass. New Bedford, Mass. So these people had to go back in and have all the work done again. That is a true story, Jay. Stunk. Oh, gosh, yeah. I wonder if they lost. Tooth. I hate you, Dennis. Sorry. Sorry, Dennis. Sorry. Nothing personal. You're probably really good people. You're just sadistic. Well, hello. Are you Stephen Foods? Yeah, good morning. Welcome. Have a seat here in the chair. All right. I'm going to take a look at your mollus, if you don't mind. Ah, look at this. Very healthy set of teeth. Very healthy set of teeth. Thank you. Now...
I'm going to do something here. Maybe a bit painful. Oh, did that hurt? Oh, hurt. Sorry about that. I will do much lighter this time. Oh, what are you, is that a hammer? Why are you using a hammer? Are you feeling better? No. It sucks. Just let me know when it sucks to feel better. It sucks. Is it feeling better yet? Stop it. Stop it right now. Stop it. Stop it. Why does Steven Woods have a Boston accent? Yeah, I was being the Boston guy. That's right. So anyway, man, how crazy. I mean, I'm telling you, I read paperclip. I'm like, that can't be true. It can't be true. It cannot be true. What was it used for? Was it used to find a post? No, bro. What the hell is a post? I'm not a dentist. Yeah, it's like the thing that you put in there. Oh, my God. Yeah. They drill out all the roots of the tooth, and they put those posts in there, and they semen them in, and then it goes over the top.
I don't want to hear so much that I pulled my headphones out. Yeah, dude. No way. He was using a paper clip as an anchor. Like an anchor. It's an anchor. No way. Like an anchor for the tooth. Into someone's gum. Into their hole. And it got infected. Ow, no wonder. I said hole and he snickered. Yeah, I know. All I said was the word hole. I know, I know, I know. And he goes, I know. Pretty much can't say anything. This is a hole. So on that note, we will bid you adieu. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will come back tomorrow morning at 5.30 and do it all over again. Mike shows up.