The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/26/11

0:55I know I'm going to get an endorsement. Do you have to be an employee to get an endorsement? I am an employee. Don't you have to be an on-air talent? I think you have to have an on-air experience, which I have plenty of. What about talent? I got that, buddy. Do you? Boy, I'll be in a date. Come back at eight. Yeah, to get out. I have work to do anyway, y'all. Do you? Welcome to the Mikey Show. Give us a call. 570-1949. I like how the phones are heating up. Article on the Mikey Show out in the San Diego Union Tribune day after tomorrow on Friday. Yeah. Yeah, it's about our year anniversary, you know, here at FM 94.9. And yes, you can check it out. I'm planning a little surprise for that day. Just FYI. I know how much you love surprises. I don't like them. They make me nervous. They make me uncomfortable. You'll be okay. This is a nice surprise. Yeah. Technically today is.

2:10My anniversary. I don't know if it's all yours. What do you mean? This was the day you signed your contract? Really? Was that right? You were the last one, right? Maybe this guy. Probably me. I think I signed day of. You guys signed the same day. I thought I signed the first morning we were on the air. I'm not kidding. No. I swear I did. I remember because when they gave you your contract, you signed it and didn't read anything. No, I just signed it. It was during our drive. Are you going to read it? And you're like, no, no. I didn't want to mess anything up. It was during our dry run. And then, of course, I went over every single page of it and found out that three of the pages said Stephen Woods on it. And I was like, oh, it's a good thing I went through this. And you took it to your brother-in-law, who's an attorney? Yes. Brother. I think I let Jay tell you about it. Because at that point, I didn't know you well enough to go, it's not going to matter. Yeah. That's pretty much what I said to her as well. It's not going to matter. It's like. What can you do? They stink, you know? Yeah. Radio contracts, when you first get started in radio, they stink. They could have put a dollar on mine. And after what I'd gone through, I would have signed it. You wouldn't have been here very long. I would have signed it and worked nights. I would have figured something out. We have a big announcement with Hillary at 10. So a few select people that are FM 94.9 insiders already know. And are freaking.

3:36And are freaking out. And we'll talk about it at 10. I got private messages. Did you? About it. Like people writing you emails and text messages? They're wanting inside, inside information. Yeah. And I told them to get. Now, we're not allowed to give any of that info till 10. Right. Is that right? Yeah, we're not even allowed. Everyone looks like that might not be the case. I don't. I ain't doing it. I'm not doing it. No, no, no. We're not allowed to talk about anything. Garrett called me last night. Yeah, Garrett called me as well. He called me too, but. You didn't answer? You didn't pay attention. No, I didn't answer, but because I had my hands full, I was watching a 10-month-old following her around. I wasn't watching the stage or anything like that. He left me a message. I didn't have anything to help me. I'm just kidding. I talked to him. Shut your mouth. So we'll do that at 10, the big announcement. It's very cool. It's like really, really a cool announcement. Word of the day today is Williamsport, okay? I'll explain. Okay. Happy birthday, Todd. That's where he's from. That's so sweet. Born and raised, my baby. Williamsport, Pennsylvania. The Little League champion. Yep, that's where it is. That's right. 39 years old today. Happy birthday. There you go. So when you hear me mention that again between now and 10, caller number nine is going to get concert tickets to see Rush at Cricket Wireless, and you'll also get a pair of sunglasses from either Angel or Anarchy. If you're a dude, Anarchy. If you're a chick, Angel.

4:59Let's see. Okay, so lots of stuff to go over. Hopefully my computer is going to be cooperating with me today because I am doing a lot of fixing. I did some stuff that screwed my computer up, so I'm fixing it. President Obama, State of the Union, last night. Here's what he had to say. What comes of this moment is up to us. What comes of this moment will be determined not by whether we can sit together tonight, but whether we can work together tomorrow. All right. I picture a short, bald Mexican saying that. All I see is Mikey's face. When you hear Obama. Yes. Let's see. What else does he have to say about America? Sustaining the American dream has never been about standing pat. It has required each generation to sacrifice and struggle and meet the demands of a new age. And now it's our turn. We know what it takes to compete for the jobs and industries of our time. We need to out-innovate, out-educate, and out-build the rest of the world. There you go. He's saying good stuff. And I hope it all comes true. Let's see. More good stuff being said.

6:35In South Korea, teachers are known as nation builders. Here in America, it's time we treated the people who educate our children with the same level of respect. All the way in. Well, if you weren't all the way in on that, you'd be a monster. I mean, you have to be. But I mean, I would I would do something about that. Like you could raise my taxes to pay teachers more. I wouldn't bother me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like that's something I'd be like, OK, whatever. If that's what it's for, I'm in. Yeah. Got no problem. Yeah, especially if it raises the quality of the teachers. Absolutely, man. I mean, teachers are grossly underpaid. Grossly underpaid. Healthcare. Talk to me about healthcare, Obama. Now, I have heard rumors that a few of you still have concerns about our new healthcare law. So let me be the first to say that anything can be improved. If you have ideas about how to improve this law by making care better or more affordable,

7:46I am eager to work with you. We can start right now by correcting a flaw in the legislation that has placed an unnecessary bookkeeping burden on small businesses. I know what he should do. Let's go to Facebook. What do you mean? Just post it on his Facebook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anybody have any ideas? Yeah. Or, you know, PM me. That's what we do. Yeah, we do it all the time. Send me a PM, which is a private message. And if you've got some ideas, throw them in an outline. I'll take a look at it. Yeah. Or just write it on my wall. Yeah. Start a thread and then people will comment. Start a thread and all my chief of staff, you know, take a look at it. I can't read. There will be approximately 900,000 of them. I can't read all 900,000. I need someone to weed out, you know, the crap. I think it's a good idea, Mr. President. And then maybe you want to Twitter? Yeah. Tweet it. I'll tweet it. You'll get some private messages. You'll get some direct messages. You'll have him hit pound health care and you'll be good. I will have an assistant take a picture of me on their cell phone with a high megapixel, high resolution camera. Good idea. And then flicker it. Flicker that. I'll flicker that. Tag it. I'll tweet pick it. Tag it. Yep. And then put that on Facebook. Good idea. And if I know any musicians, I'll ask them to take a picture of me doing that.

9:09Put it on their Music MySpace page, which is still relevant. Right. Or if you wanted to do like a song, like if you wanted to do God Bless America. Yes. Get a MySpace account. Yeah. If you are a singer, MySpace is still a viable product. Yeah. If you are looking for, you know, social networking or picking up chicks, Facebook is the better way to go. MySpace is now old and hackneyed. Yes. but still a viable music website. Correct. Yep. Thank you. You're welcome. What I'm not willing to do, what I'm not willing to do is go back to the days when insurance companies could deny someone coverage because of a pre-existing condition. I agree with that because, you know, my dad, like my mom, okay, for instance, let me give you a perfect example. My mom has Alzheimer's disease, okay, and... we would like to get her into something when my dad passes where they take care of her and where she doesn't have to be by herself because she can't be. Now, right now, insurance will not cover that because her Alzheimer's disease is a pre-existing condition. And so if we wanted to pay for it, in order to pay for something like that, it's about $5,000 to $6,000.

10:49A month in order to pay for something like that. Now, so I can see the need for it. The problem is, is that we as a nation, we can't afford to flip that bill for my mom. Because it's not just my mom. That's one teeny, tiny, little example. What we're talking about has to do with billions and billions and billions. billions of dollars okay so although i see the need for my own mother i see the need i scratch my head and go uh let's figure something out here right what's the how do we pay for that well it's so lotty it's so it's i mean it's so big health care has gotten out of hand there's a problem i mean really does it cost five grand to to take care of your mom for a month right i mean i don't think so it's like there's you know but see

11:49In order for her to have care around the clock, which is what, you know, she can't be by herself. And it's not just her living at one of these places, you know. Well, yeah, my mom's in one. So she has been for years. So I know exactly the care that they get. And trust me, it's not $5,000 a day. $5,000 a month. It's not $5,000 a month. Well, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. It should not be. The price is too high, he's saying. Because we looked at some places, they were around $5,000 a month. Well, that's because they know the insurance companies can pay that. So that's why they tack on these enormous bills. So any kind of medical care you go for, it's just giant because that's the situation we've gotten ourselves into. Does insurance help pay for your mom? It does. It still does. See, that's our problem. That's our problem. If my mom had insurance, it wouldn't be $5,000 a month. Right. You know what I mean? But my mom's got this pre-existing. In order for her to qualify, she has to have insurance, which she had some normal insurance. It doesn't cover that. And had she not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and she got the insurance, it'd be okay. She's already got it. But I think they do.

13:05jack up the prices like when I went to I was in the emergency room when I was in a car accident and it was $12 a roll for the duct tape that they used to duct tape me down to the gurney or whatever the thing is called. Why did they duct tape you down to the gurney? They were scared that I was going to, my neck was hurt. Immobilizer. Yeah. They do that with duct tape? With duct tape. I had no idea. Yeah. They just put a gauze thing across and tape you over with duct tape. But it was $12 a roll for the duct tape. Yeah. And then the Advil was like. I forget. Some exorbitant amount or whatever. Not Advil, but ibuprofen or whatever they gave me. So I saw the breakdown of the bill and was like, what? $12 for duct tape? It was funny. Last year I went to the doctor and the doctor said, well, is it on insurance? I said, no. He goes, okay, it would have been $180 if it had been on insurance, but just since it's you at $60. Yeah. Like, what? Because they know they can bill. Because they know they can get it. They get it. You know, the difference between the cost of generic medication and...

14:05Just, you know, the name brand. Rebecca had to fill about four medications for me. It was $400. She goes, we can't do this. I go, $400? With insurance? With insurance. She goes, yeah. She goes, part of it is that you are getting Flonase, you know, the name brand Flonase. I said, Give me mayonnaise. I don't care. I'll take no nays. Yeah. I don't care. Slow no. It's so annoying. Our troops come from every corner of this country. They're black, white, Latino, Asian. Redhead, blonde, brunette, freckled, short, fat, ugly, good looking. Native American. They are Christian and Hindu, Jewish and Muslim. And yes, we know that some of them are gay. Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love. Got time. Yeah. Get some. Yeah. Get some. Dip it like a pimp. Dip it like a pimp. Let's see. Inspired. He's inspiring. So anyway, so he went and, you know, gave that State of the Union last night. Listen to the Tea Party.

15:33Whenever a State of the Union takes place, the other side gets to give their response. And so the Republicans gave their response, and so did the Tea Party. Allow me to retort. Because of you, Congress is responding. And we're just beginning to start to undo the damage that's been done the last few years. Because we believe in lower taxes. We believe in a limited view of government and exceptionalism in America. And I believe that America is the indispensable nation of the world. Just the creation of this nation itself was a miracle. Who can say that we won't see a miracle again? The perilous battle that was fought during World War II in the Pacific at Iwo Jima was a battle against all odds. And yet this picture immortalizes the victory of young GIs over the incursion against the Japanese. These six young men raising the flag came to symbolize all of America coming together to beat. Thanks Tea Party. Thanks for coming to the party.

16:41Thanks for just making it all seem like a big pile of poop. She's so bubbly. Yeah, she sounds like a preschool teacher. Sweet. A. B. C. D. The Republican response. We still have time, but not much time. If we continue down our current path, we know what our future will be. Just take a look at what's happening to Greece, Ireland. The United Kingdom and other nations in Europe. Do you know what he means? The financial crisis? You know what he means? No. Okay. About six, seven months ago, our economy and the Dow Jones Industrial Average went in a day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Scary as all get up. It's scary. It's scary. And the reason that it happened is because Greece doesn't know what they're doing.

17:42basically their entire economy fell apart in a day. And when it did, it affected all of the European money, which affected the rest of the world. Sure, makes sense. And what he's saying is, is that what happened there isn't crazy. It's based on the same kind of economics that we're running today. Today. They didn't act soon enough. And now their governments have been forced to impose... painful austerity measures, large benefit cuts to seniors, and huge tax increases on everybody. Their day of reckoning has arrived. Ours is around the corner. That is why we have to act now. State of the Union last night. We'll see. I support our president and want our president to do really good for our country and for our country to prosper. Although, I don't know, man.

18:41Do you guys think that he'll be a two-term president? If Sarah Palin runs? Unequivocally, yeah. If Sarah Palin's the nominee, I believe that it will be a landslide victory. Yeah, landslide. By Obama. I think it's highly dependent on who his competition is. 570-1949 is our number. Would you vote in that election? Yeah. I put you on the spot, but you're a pretty staunch. I'd probably do a write-in. Would you? Okay, you're a very staunch conservative. Yeah. And if Sarah Palin was the Republican nominee, you would just say, I'm going to write in Paul Stanley. Mike Huckabee. From Kiss. No, I'd write in Mike Huckabee. Mike Huckabee. Yeah. I'd like Mike Huckabee. I wanted Mike Huckabee to be our president last time around. And I remember the first.

19:43The first deal was the Iowa. My brain's blank. What do you call it? The Iowa. Yeah. And he swept it. Mike Huckabee. First night. Remember, my brother drove into town that night. My brother that loves Obama. And I was cheering watching CNN in high definition. And my brother was staring at me. And he did pretty good. He did pretty good, but he didn't get the nomination. Turned out to be John McCain, which I was fine with until he picked Sarah Palin. Oh, boy. Career suicide, pal. Career suicide. M1 Nubian Prince from Otay Mesa. What's up? Good morning, Mikey. I love you guys. Love you. Happy birthday, pal. Yeah. Thank you guys. I actually was going to say, Steve, thank you six a lot. Who's Steve? My dad, Mr. Wood. Thank you. Wood.

20:43Hi, Mr. Wood. Mr. Wood. Mr. Wood. Yeah, hey, thank you guys for the happy birthday. But I'm calling to ask if you could sing happy birthday, man. Yeah, yeah, Woodsy does this thing. Woodsy's eyes. Let's kazoo it. Let's just kazoo it. My voice is killing me. You want Woodsy's deal or do you want the kazoo? Well, you know, if your voice is killing you, man, the kazoo is cool. It's all good. Yeah, I've been yelling at my little leaguers. All right, are you ready? And a one, and a two, and a three. Happy birthday, Sam Todd Farrar. Happy birthday. Yay. You guys are awesome. I had to sell out for it. Yeah. Wow. Good point. There you go. Why don't you do the rest? Thank you, newbie and prince. Change my mind. Yeah. Take care, guys. Thank you. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. What's going on? Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning.

21:53Love you guys. Love you, man. I haven't called in a little while, but I wanted to pitch in on the whole health care chat that you had before. What's the problem with a single-payer system? With a single-payer system? Yep, like the National Health Service in Britain or the way Canada goes. Oh, here's the problem with it. The quality of the care stinks. In fact, I know a guy that lived in England. And right now our nanny is from Hungary. And they work on the same kind of system. It's all smoke and mirrors. The quality of the health care is terrible. You wait in line for hours and hours and hours. And they don't want to give you very quality care because it costs a lot of money. Now, in both Britain and in Hungary, you can get quality care. You just have to pay for it. It's expensive.

22:50But everybody's guaranteed health care. It just stinks. It's terrible. It's awful. Well, I guess it was kind of a leading question because the health care in this country is horrible, too. Not the quality of the care. The quality is good. The quality is fantastic. I would disagree. Depending on where you go, Mikey, my wife is an ICU nurse at the hospital. The hospital she works at is the best cardiothoracic hospital in the nation. And she knows for a fact that people are denied care because of their insurance, that people are not given very high-quality care because they can't pay. There's a lot of shady, immoral things that are done in our health care system. Agreed. Hey, dude, cave dweller? We can go round and round, and we've got to take a break. I agree with you, and I think that we need health care reform. I agree. But I don't want to do an hour on health care. I agree with you. We're in agreement. Fair enough. Love you, buddy. We're in agreement. Health care needs reform. But there's other stuff that is so fascinating that I want to get to. A guy in Chicago was fired because he wore a Packers tie to work. Packers just played the Bears, you know.

24:19Green Bay just played Chicago. This guy in Chicago shows up to work, and he's wearing a Packers tie, and he gets fired. Now, that's all I know, but I feel like I'm missing 99.9% of the story. I'll tell you what. I thought the same thing, and I'm like, well, this guy's a terrible salesman, and his head was on the chopping block anyway. No. This guy, John Stone, sold 14 cars in a little over a month. He'd worked there for a month. Sold 14 cars in his first month on the job. Car salesman. Car salesman. And he came to work and they said, hey, you're not wearing that Packers. I take it off. And he said, out of your mind, I'm not taking my tie off. It's not going to affect the way I sell a car. And his boss has basically said, hey, listen. He said, quote, our objective is to provide good customer service, not antagonize the customers the day after a big loss. And they fired him. They told him to hit the road. He's already got. thousand other job offers. You know what is even worse about it, though, is that he wasn't necessarily a big Packers fan. This guy wore the tie. But his grandfather, who died two days before the game, was. So after his funeral, in honor of his grandpa, who was a huge Packers fan, he wore the tie to work. And he thought his boss was joking when he told him to take it off. And then he said, nope, you're done. Get out of here.

25:41Fired him. Wow. Check this out, too. This is pretty interesting. Packers fans have been reaching out to him and saying, let us know where you land. We're going to come down from Green Bay and we are going to buy a car from you. Wow. Whoever hires this guy just landed on a gold mine. Yeah. And, you know, the thing is, is that him getting fired for that tie is the best thing that ever happened. Oh, yeah. I know. Oh, my gosh. Starving my face off. All right. You get to be a casting director right now, okay? You get to pick who is going to play John Gotti in an upcoming movie about John Gotti, okay? Just as you're driving, think about it. Who would you pick? Woodsy's thinking about it right now. Who would you pick to play John Gotti? Just go ahead and toss that around in your brain. And then when we come back, I'm going to tell you who's actually been picked. Is this going to make me mad? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Hurt, sadness, fear. Hurt, sadness, fear.

26:44It's next. And we'll play buzzword, too. It's coming up. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, this morning, Toyota has announced another big recall, a million and a half of vehicles. Now, they're saying these are for potentially faulty fuel pipes. The vehicles that are involved in the recall are the, there's 245,000 Lexus. GS 300 or 350 vehicles. Now these are from the year 2006 to 2007. So if you have one of those vehicles, be careful. They've been recalled for faulty fuel pipes. Also, Rahm Emanuel, he may get a shot at becoming mayor. I thought he couldn't because he didn't live in the right place. Well, yesterday the Illinois Supreme Court said that they were going to decide whether he can run for mayor and the justices ordered election officials not to print any ballots without his name.

28:09until they rule on the case. They said that they're going to expedite the matter, and they haven't given a specific time frame, but they're looking into it to try to give them another shot. Wow. We'll see. And the election's in less than four weeks. Right. There you go. Rahm Emanuel quit his job as White House chief of staff because he wanted to run for mayor of Chicago. And then there was some technicality. He said, well, you didn't live here. He didn't meet the residency requirements because you're supposed to be there for two years. And he had been, you know, with Obama. Yeah. So maybe now he'll get a shot. Oh, man. What's going on in sports? Big night for the San Diego State Aztecs. They are the number four team in the country. They are 20 and out. Wow. 20 and out. They're going to be taking on number nine, Brigham Young. I may watch this game, and I don't really watch a lot of basketball. I'm going to try to check this game out tonight. Can you tell me when it's tonight? It's tonight. It is 7 p.m. Pacific. You will be fast asleep, my friend. I will not be. I'm going to watch this game tonight, man. This team is legit. Do they ever play Friday nights? I don't know. I don't know. College is weird, you know, the scheduling of college basketball. They have so many games. But, man, they take on the BYU Cougars tonight, and, dude, it's going to be a battle.

29:2020-0 overall, 5-0 in the conference. BYU is number nine. They're 19-1, 5-0 in the conference. Oh, wow. It's going to be a heavyweight battle, man. Come on, Aztecs. They win tonight. They may be the number two team in the country. What? In the country. Crazy. That's unbelievable. How cool is that? Really cool. Maybe I'm good luck. Okay. What do you think? I think so, because when you look at the Padres and the Chargers. Well, the Padres had their best season in forever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did, right? And so, yeah. Maybe I'm good luck. Maybe you're good luck. This is an interesting story. Well, I thought it was interesting. Mike did not think it was super exciting. It was Herschel Walker is considering an NFL comeback at 48 years old. Now, I think some team that doesn't sell a lot of tickets. Maybe add the guy. Put him on the goal line. Let him pound it in. I mean, a lot of guys have three running backs. A lot of teams have three running backs right now. He says he's running a 4-3-8-40. He says he's in better shape than he was in his 20s. He's training in MMA. He's a beast. And if he's that fast, sell some tickets. Yeah, but Woods, when you told me that that's what he said, you laughed like it was a joke and that there's no way he runs a 4-3-40. No way. And I laughed when you said it, too, because I agreed with you. I don't think that...

30:42I mean, why would he lie? Because he wants to be in the NFL. But that's one of those things that you're going to have to prove. Yeah. And when he does run, he won't run a 4'3". What if he did? What if he did at 48 years old? I would think it's really awesome. And what if you are, what if you're the... What if my grandmother had wheels? She'd be a roller skate. But... Haven't you ever seen the movie The Rookie? Yes. Think if you're the Jacksonville Jaguars that nobody goes to watch you play. Give the guy the ball on the line. Think if you're Jacksonville Jaguars and you've got Maurice Jones-Drew. Maybe you put Herschel Walker in at the goal line instead of Maurice Jones-Drew. Think about if you are the Seattle Seahawks. And you've got Marshawn Lynch and Justin Forsett. Right. Marshawn Lynch, who probably just ran one of the best-looking runs I've ever seen. One freaking play. One play. You don't think Herschel's good for one play? Because that's your qualification. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still think maybe Marshawn Lynch is the better choice at the goal line than 47-year-old Herschel. 48. 48-year-old Herschel Walker. Well, I'm pulling for him.

31:54Yeah. Me too. I want to see a good comeback story. He was a rookie in 1981. Yes, he was. Wow. I would love to see it. I hope to prove you wrong. Well, I mean, I think it's interesting in that it's, you know, that he is myopic. But what I don't think. What I don't think. is that he will play in the NFL as a running guy. I would like to see it. Maybe we can send Jay to be a walk-on for the Chargers. Done deal. He's 47. Jay's 47. Yeah, Jay's fast. Best shape of my life? Not. Oh, wow. You know, not is underused these days, isn't it? 1993. Hey, can we have our joke back? Oh, no. Oh, wow. Maybe we've gone too far. Hello. Hello. Hi, it's 1996. Thanks for calling. Yeah, I was just calling because I heard Jay say, you know, not. Right. Yeah, he said something and then he goes, not.

33:01He said the opposite of what he meant. Right. Yeah. I was just calling because I wanted to talk to Jay and ask him if I could have that joke back. Nope. Keeping it. Fine. Keep it. It was hot back when Jay was in his prime. It was a real player back in 1990. It was gnarly. Hey, you remember this one? Don't bring that back, please. Let's bring that back. That was 2000. 1999, 2000. That's my cousin, 2000. Oh, okay. See ya. Thanks for calling. Wow. Not. That call was the bomb. That was the bomb. Talk to the hand, Jay. It's a Hollywood producer named Marty Ingalls and confirming who will be playing the role of John Gotti in an upcoming movie. Obviously James Gandolfini. Well, let's see. Good choice, by the way. John Travolta told us you were here.

33:59Nobody was supposed to know about it, that's for sure. But it's okay if the world knows about it, because Travolta's going to play the life of John Gotti, and I'm telling you for the first time. Nowhere. Yep. That's why we were meeting. Wow. And I'm executive producer. I'm very excited. Let's see. John Travolta will be playing John Gotti. He is awesome. He's not right for that role. No, he's not right. He's awful. Never liked Travolta. Liked him okay in Pulp Fiction. Still thought he was a little bit goofy in Pulp Fiction. He's terrible. He's terrible. I like Phenomenon. Yeah. Saturday Night Fever. Grease. Grease. Look who's talking. See, now that's the thing. That's the thing. Way back in the day. That's 25 years ago. I thought Travolta was all right. I thought he, you know, I mean, I like the movie Saturday Night Fever. I like it. Face off. He's getting face off. He's so bad in that movie. Oh, LLB. Broken Arrow. You're such a, like, you're with actors, you like. Well, he was on stage or on screen with Nicolas Cage. So maybe. In comparison, I guess. Ain't it cool?

35:13That was this big line from Face Off. Kind of makes me want to hang myself with waxed dental floss. What about the science fiction movie? Which one? He did some science fiction movie where he plays the alien with a big weird forehead. Yes, that was the Scientology movie that he did. It was? Based on Scientology, yeah. Yeah, it was awful. What the hell was that called? And I saw the preview and I go, I'm out. It was like Battleship something. I can't remember. I like him. Oh, he's awful. He can do certain things. What if he's great? He can say like, I'll be nose with a rubber hose. Hey, Sandy. Yeah, Mr. Cotta. Hey, Mr. Cotta. Mr. Cotta. He's really good at that. I was moving and grooving. What not. What not? Yeah. A C&D. A C&D. How bad is he going to be playing an Italian? I mean, I think he's Italian, but he is Italian.

36:14John Gotti? Playing John Gotti, a mob boss. It's going to be so bad. John Travolta, James Gandolfini. John Travolta, James Gandolfini. You know, they did a Gotti movie, and I think it was Armand Asante did it. He did pretty good. It was okay. It was like an HBO movie. It was decent. Is there any chance this is all just a ruse? Oh, I hope so. Maybe, but that was a producer that was saying it was legit. Gotta be Gandolfini. You guys believe that? Idiots. Let's see. Woods was talking about how he is getting ridiculous with door-to-door salesmen coming to his door. They're still coming? Yes. Non-stop. Did they get you guys? Yeah. No, we get the Jehovah's. We got a lot of Jehovah's with us. You're a marked man. People are like, hey, you want an easy sell? You want a mark? That guy. Yeah. But they come to his door selling meat. Bought it. He said a real sharp looking black dude. Knocked on his door. And the guy asked Woods if he's the man of the house. And Woods goes, nope. It's my brother's. Oh, my gosh. Really? Yeah, that's good. This is pretty smart. And the guy goes, yeah, I saw Texas plates. And Woods goes, yeah, just visiting. Oh, my gosh.

37:41Wow. I didn't think you had it in you. LLB, I don't want to lie, okay? It's my bit. I'm trying to be a better dude, and I don't want to lie. I didn't know what to do. This guy might have been the greatest salesman in the world. He wouldn't let me go. Even when I said, I'm not from here. He's like, that's fine. It's actually better. And I was like, the worst is when you tell them no and they don't stop and then they make you feel like you're so mean. That's what they're supposed to do. I just slam the door. See, I don't slam the door. I'm like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't slam the door, but I think that I have a look that I go, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. And they don't continue. But I say, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. I always come up with a really good lie. And if I am interested, I would say I was interested. But if I'm not interested, I say, I'm sorry, I'm not interested. And they don't press the issue. Sometimes they're really mean. I've had people be mean to me. They're like, all right, I'm just trying to feed my kids. I always tell them that I don't live there, that I'm just working there for the day, that I'm doing some construction on the house. Oh, my gosh. I'll make up a story, and they're like, really? I'm like, yeah, they're not here, so good luck to you. Oh, wow. Yeah, see, and I'm trying not to lie. Why lie? Why lie? Because they don't go away. I was scared.

39:01You were scared. Yes. I don't like to say – I was a salesman, so I know how hard it is, man. It's not that. Woods. That's exactly it. Woods. And I like to be sold. Woods. What? It's deeper than that. It's not deeper. It is. What is it? Can I offer – it's just an opinion, man. I don't think that it has to do with just salespeople. I think that you have a hard time saying no to people. I do. Yes. It isn't about salespeople. I like to try to be nice. I understand that you try to be nice. But I think that there's something that could become of that that isn't good. And that is that people, if they find that about you, they'll take advantage of you. Oh, it's happened a thousand times. I know. I'm 35 years old. I'm like, apparently this is who I am. It's good to have boundaries, man, and it took me a long time. I didn't have it. I didn't have boundaries, and I used to say yes, and I didn't like it, and I'd be resentful. I'd be resentful. I'd be angry and upset at them because I said yes, and you don't have to do that. You can say no. I know, and this guy really caught me off guard. I didn't know.

40:15Yeah, you were not expecting a sharp-looking black dude to show up to your door selling meat. I was. L-O-B. L-O-B was. She was. This guy was selling magazines, and we have gifts coming to the house. And I hear that, and I'm like, oh, it's a UPS guy. He's dropping off a friggin' hooded robe for my kid or something. So, and he goes, hey, how you doing? I'm like, oh, no, please, no, don't get me right now. Please don't get me. And, dude, he, again, he almost had me. Oh, man. You should have just said, give me your number, I'll call you back. And then you could have passed his number on to me. Yeah. Couldn't negotiate. I feel like a giant, I feel like a giant D-wad if I'm like, dude, I'm not interested. Get. That was what I was just going to say to you. I was just going to say that. I feel so bad. Here's the thing. I think that Woods, like me, can at times be a little black and white. Yeah. Okay? A little black and white. I was very black and white. I learned this through going to a shrink. Woods and I have a lot in common in that way. The shrink says to me, she says, you realize that there are more options than two. And honestly, she had to say that for me to go, what do you mean? Because I thought to myself, well, there isn't. You either say yes or no. Right.

41:35And she says, and so I'll pretend I'm her. I'll tell you what she would say to you in this situation. See, in Woods' life, and you can ask yourself as you're driving right now, is that me too? But in Woods' life, there is either being really nice to this guy and kind of hearing him out and doing the thing, or there's, get, dude. Get out of here. Yeah, I'm not interested. I'm not interested. When I hear not interested, I think you're a jerk. And just like Woods said it right now, the way that Woods gave the example is, dude, not interested. Get right. OK, there's also this kindness and saying, oh, man, I'm so sorry, dude. We're just not interested right now, which is what I do. Right. I don't I'm not mean I'm pleasant. And you don't have to be a jerk to say no. But, you know, it's okay. Like we had this big talk too. We had a big talk about boundaries on this show because L.O.B. was like, we were talking about L.O.B. And I was trying to make it really clear. It's okay for L.O.B. to have like a personal life and not, you know, because we were teasing a lot. And she was like.

42:50man, is it like, do I really have to do a bunch? And I was like, she was going, do I really have to do a bunch of stuff? Like, what if I don't want to? And the point there was absolutely not. Like, you don't have to do one thing outside of work. Nothing like you don't. Now, if it's a team building thing where we're all doing something as a team. And by the way, that doesn't include things like birthdays. That doesn't include Super Bowl parties. That doesn't include those kinds of things. What I'm talking about is when your company gets together or when the team that you're on gets together for the sole purpose of a bonding exercise. Sure. Those are that's what I'm talking about outside of those team building things that are a bonding moment. You don't have to do jack squat like and that includes everybody. You know me. That includes me. If my boss wants to get together for, and Woods and I disagreed on this too, if my boss wanted to get together for outside of work for us to get together and watch a ball game, I don't have to do that. And I can easily say no. If my boss wants to get the team together to go do something, I should probably do that. I don't disagree with you. I don't disagree with you. I just always have thought it's a...

44:09pretty good move and it's not going to hurt you. You know what I mean? Listen, if that's your thing and you don't have a problem with it and it isn't going to make you resentful later, go for it. See, it would you. Resentful. Later, I would be like, I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be there. That would be my thing. But just in general, it is always good to have boundaries. It's so hard for me, dude. Hard for me. You know what did it for me? What? She goes, so what's the worst that happens? And she really wanted me to walk through the worst thing that would happen. She goes, what is the worst thing that would happen? He walks away cursing you, calling you a D. Now, how would you know that, by the way? Because you would feel it. You'd feel like that. You'd think it. There's another thing she taught me. She calls it ABC. Always be closing. No, it's not always be closing. You're close. You're very close. Now, ABC, she called it ABC Thinking. What I would do is I would take A, that would be the reality, and then there's B, which is also the reality, and then there's C. I would skip B. Yeah. I would forget whatever B is, and I would make the reality C, forgetting completely what the actual reality is. My reality would be he's cursing me on the way out the door. Yes.

45:33Thinking I'm a cheapskate and a jerk. Right, right. I don't care about, you know, frigging whatever he's selling. Now, here's the thing. Here's what I know about you. And this is what I got to as well. You're not a cheapskate. And this applies to everybody listening. Yeah, you got to ask yourself. You're not a cheapskate. And so if dude leaves and thinks you're a cheapskate, that's on dude. Yeah. That's on sharp black dude. That's not on. Who cares? That's not on Woods. That is. And. I understand that, but I came to a firm understanding of exactly who I am and who I'm not. Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe I still don't know. Yeah, you're getting there, though. I think you're really getting there. I see you getting there. I just get hosed, dude, at the door. They get me. I'm just not answering the door anymore. It's hard. You have to remember, though, that those salesmen... Like, the sharp black dude, he's had people try to sell stuff at his house, and he said no to them. Yeah. You know, he understands. He does, even though he won't act like it. I have bought freaking U-verse from a door-to-door salesman. I have bought meat. I have bought magazines. I'm like, this has got to stop. I'm not made of money here. You're a marked man. They're coming to get me, like— I haven't had one single person come to my house. M1 Mark from Escondido. Hey, what's going on, guys? What's up, man? Hey, I was just saying, what Wood needs to do, just make the—

46:53The guy feels really uncomfortable when he answers the door. He'll be like, hey, bad time. I'm about to get lucky with my old lady. That's pretty brilliant. But he'll come back. Yeah, I'll come back in five minutes. Five minutes. Say three. I had a bad moment yesterday. You did? Yeah. What? I had a bad moment that I was embarrassed of. I got really upset at a stranger. A kid. Oh, no. Teenager. Don't know if he was 17, 18, but he was somewhere in that age. Those teens will get you sometimes. Yeah, I was really surprised I was not being different. It's called be different, not be perfect. Lucky for us. But you know what? I'll tell you what, man. It really made me stop and think, I need to be different. What happened? I'll tell you right after this. It involved very strong wording.

47:57Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I surprised myself. It felt like it wasn't me. Red Mikey came out. Red Mikey. I can't even see that. I can't even. You know what it was? Fear. Yeah. It was fear. I'll tell you about it. Can't wait. All right, I'm going to tell you what happened yesterday in just a second. Who is this? Need to breathe. I love it. I love it. Sounds like Kings a little bit. Yeah. If you like this, the whole album. Need to breathe. Need to breathe. It's all one word. Need to breathe. Need to breathe. Need to breathe. Need to breathe. Need to breathe. Got a little soul in it. I love it. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien. We call her L-O-B. It's a nice necklace. Thank you. You did? That's Sienna sitting over there.

50:16She's got the auburn hair that I thought she darkened and she didn't. And that is Jay, our producer. He's 47. Jay thought the same thing. I did, exactly. I mean, I did before Christmas. I wonder why we're just noticing it. I don't know. I'm weird. Let's party. Okay. I'm already over it. Crazy. Poor Todd. I don't complain to him. I just gave up. Crazy. He knows I'm crazy. Todd, I'm changing my hair. I'm keeping my hair the same. I'm changing it. Every time I change it, no matter what happens, I don't like it. I'm the same way. You start to see, if I go darker, I'm like, everyone in the world that's pretty is blonde. I came home. My wife had bangs. I'd never seen bangs on my wife in 11 years. When was this? She's got bangs now. She does? Yeah. I didn't notice yesterday. You know what she does? She sweeps them. She sweeps them. They look cute. My missus did that. She, my missus Jamie, got bangs one time. And I was, you know, you guys know me. We have this relationship. You just said, you have it. I walked and I go. Oh my gosh. What'd you do? You're just like that. I know. I'm a D.

51:27We know that. We know that. Sorry. I love you, honey. She's listening right now. Our station manager, Hoyle, is coming in. He's got some new little thing that he wants to pitch to Sienna. I don't even know what it is, and I'm scared. Big announcement happening on the radio station with Hillary at 10. Huge. So, yeah, I got upset yesterday. I got angry, and the reason was because I was afraid. Now, I've said this before. Anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. Sure. I was fearful. I was coming home, and there's been break-ins in our neighborhood. And if you see suspicious vehicles, you're supposed to do something about it, call the cops or whatever. And we definitely saw a suspicious vehicle. We definitely saw a suspicious vehicle about a month ago. And it was Rebecca and I, and there were four men in that car. Oh, no. So I wasn't going to follow him because there was, you know, because there was four of them. And so yesterday I'm coming home and I see a truck parked on the street and not parked on the street by any homes, parked on the street in an area that they can have view of homes, but not where they're at someone's house. Okay. And so I.

52:56pull up next to the car, and when I do, I see a person's head go down. What? Mm-hmm. And my heart's... Oh, my gosh. And the driver's side window was down a little bit. Oh, my gosh. Okay? And so I'm looking at it, and I'm not moving. And they're not moving because their head went down. They're not moving. And they're just ducked down. They're just ducked down. That is so uncomfortable. Holy cow. And... You're a badass. Oh, uh... I wouldn't say it was that. I was just I wanted to know what it was and wanted to know what was going on. So they don't do anything. And so I honk my horn. And when I honk my horn, I get a finger fly up. No way. Yeah. Holy crap. I get a middle finger fly up. Oh, my gosh. I'm scared. And they go, what do you want? And I go. What are you doing here? And the guy goes, I'm effing my girlfriend. That's what I thought he was doing. That's what I thought too. Yeah. I'm speechless. So was I. Who says that though? A punk. Yeah. A punk. So did you just drive away? No. No, I got mad. I got mad and I started saying stuff. Oh no.

54:30I know, I know, I know. Dude, it was so unlike me, man. But I was scared. And that is no excuse. There's no excuse. None. So what did he, I mean, he just let you get mad? Was he with his girlfriend? Yeah. Yeah, he was. Did you see the girl ever? Well, what I did was is I pulled around and got behind him. So, you know, waiting. Like, get out of here. And so he sat up. She sat up. Oh, my goodness. He got in the driver's seat. And he rolled the window down. And he was a punk. He goes, what did he say? He goes, what do you care? And I go. Oh, my God. He got busted. I will edit. But I said, there's been break-ins in our neighborhood. Dude. Dude. Yeah. And he didn't say anything. And he was just looking at me. And I put my left hand out. And did the get out. Move along. Yeah. And so he did. And my heart's beating. I'm mad, man. I'm mad. And you know, angers, hurt, sadness. It scared me. I thought, I wonder if this is somebody like staking houses out and going into houses. It's a very legitimate concern. Right. You know, man. And our neighbor, their little girl was on TV yesterday. And she's got cancer. This little girl just turned a year old yesterday.

56:01And I know our neighbors, man. I love our neighbors and I care about our neighbors. And it just ticked me off. And you know what the thing is, too? I've seen kids that have been parked there and I know what they're doing. They're smoking weed. And so I'll pull up. Where's this? I'll pull up and I'll go, I'll go, what are you doing? And they go, nothing. And I go, you got to take off. And they usually, as soon as I say that, they go, okay. They're scared. That's what they say. Okay. You know what they don't do? They don't give the finger. They don't blah, blah, blah. Now, regardless, I got to say this. My verbal altercation and verbal reaction was wrong. And I'm genuinely ashamed of it. Sure. Said I was sorry to God this morning. Yeah. And have been saying it. Well, dude, that's not – every person has some of that in them, some of us more than most. And that's who you used to be. I mean you used to speak that way. And it's be different, not be perfect. You can't be perfect, man. You can't. As hard as you may try, you can't be perfect. And that guy evoked a reaction.

57:22from you that was a natural reaction. It was a good reaction. It was one of protection. Yeah, but I could have done the same thing without doing it the way that I did it. I'll tell you what, man. I feel like this, dude. I feel like ever since Be Different started, I feel like I've been tested in a lot of different ways. I'm trying to be real mindful of that. If you're wanting to know what Be Different is, it's Be Different Pact. something that I started out of a desire for us as a community to not do what I did, to just react differently, for us to react differently and for us to try to, as a community, be different. It's really hard to do when it comes to your family, when it comes to your things. you know, your house and your, it's your kingdom, you know? And if somebody threatens your kingdom, a lot of rules go out the window. Yeah, man. Well, dude, here's the thing. For me, though, blood is not thicker than morality. And I can, I will always defend my family. I'll defend my family to the death. Sure. But I will do it in a way that is responsible, that's mature, that's adult. Let me push your buttons.

58:51Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, and that's what got me. My buttons shouldn't be pushable, you know, because I've trained myself. I've trained myself to not be that. And I've been successful at it. And so and my message to people, especially to men, young men, men, is that we can be different. We don't have to be an a-hole. We can treat our wives better. We can treat the people that live next door to us better. We can treat the people we work with better. In fact, it takes more of a man to do that. You know, it does. It really takes more of a man to react in a calmer way. And I've worked really hard at it. I told my wife, I said, I don't want to be a grunt in this fight. And let me tell you something. There is a purpose for the grunt.

59:53There's a purpose for the grunt, and the grunt is noble. That's just not who I want to be in this particular fight. I want to be a general in this particular fight. I want to be a leader of men, and I can't be by reacting in a certain way. Now, a lot of people wonder, well, why'd you tell us? What'd you even tell us for? You didn't have to. We wouldn't have known. Because it's a struggle, and because I want to be transparent to you. And I want you to know that I struggle with it myself and that there's a reason that I have a wristband on right now that says Be Different. And you can find out more about it by going to bedifferentpact.org. We're waiting for a shipment of wristbands. Yeah, I think they came in. They did? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. We are so backlogged.

1:00:50I got a message yesterday that said we had a package at the front desk and that's what they should be. If anybody has a nonprofit that they can let us be an umbrella underneath it, we would love it. We really want to do that. And we were going to do it with Outside the Bowl and their – we call it their board of directors can't let us because they are – They also fly under the umbrella of a Christian thing, and this isn't. BeDifferentPact.org is not a Christian thing. The Optimist Club, I've done some work with them out of Santee. Those guys are at the bomb. That's cool. Let's talk to them, man. Yeah, for sure. But anyway, let's see. You want to do some buzzword? Yes. 5701949, let's play buzzword. All right, the way that buzzword works is that you are going to pick a horse. It's very, very easy. You pick a horse. You pick a horse, and you call us right now. You're going to pick me or Sienna or L-O-B or Woodsy. And we're going to get a word from Jay, and we have to somehow use that word in the clues that we get, okay? So you're going to pick me, Sienna, Woods, or L-O-B. Jay's going to give me the buzzword.

1:02:14And then he's going to give us clues, and our answers have to include that buzzword. For example, the example that we always use is egg. So Jay might say, to be embarrassed, and we have to scream out. Egg on your face! That's right. Wow. And just like that, we've got to scream it out. So give us a call right now, 570-194-9. M1 Steve, who do you want? All right, hang on the line. Bad choice, by the way. I struggle with it. But I'm going to give it my best shot. I really am. M1, Neil, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Neil, who do you want? I get L.O.B. You got it? Yeah, Neil. L.O.B. L.O.B. It's so hard to not say her name, L.O.B. I know. Mikey Show. Mikey Show, who's this? Chris. Chris, who do you want? Mikey. I'm gone. L.O.B. is gone to you. Your choices are Sienna and Woods. Woods. Hand in the line.

1:03:15I'm so surprised by that. This is shocking. Mikey Show, who's this? This is Emma and Lisa. Lisa, you and Sienna are working in tandem today. Okay. All right. I like how you worked that. Thank you. That was well done. Thank you very much. I'd like to see that. Thank you so much. I was waiting for that. All right, let's play buzzword. We're playing for a pair of angel or anarchy sunglasses. Yeah, we are. Weird. I wear them every day. Okay, here we go. The buzzword is... Pin. P-I-N. Pin. Thumbtack. Pushpin. Dang it. Dang it. I get one in my head. Yeah, me too. You focus on it. Yeah. Here we go. Stuffed receptacle for sewing needles. Sewing needles. Pushpin. I don't know what I'm saying. I said the same thing. Pincushion. That's it. Oh, nice. Wow. Do you get, you don't get minus one? Can this one not be minus? I'm sorry, I'm just saying this, but can it not be minus? Because everyone yells at it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good with that. I'm good with that too. What's the score? Woods one, Mike one. Ever just yell out the last answer? Yeah, exactly. And then Mike yelled it. I said pin cushion. No, but I said push me and then you said push me. You said the same thing. Okay, here we go. Handy fastener for falling hymns.

1:04:49Oh, oh. Or failing him. Safety pin. Yes. Dang it. Dang it. How do you not think of safety pin? All right. He said falling him. I know. And it was failing him. Maybe Chris reads it. Falling him. Maybe you shut up. Here we go. Hey, wait a minute. I have a question. True or false? Jay messes those up sometimes. True. Jay said true or false this morning. Is it true or is it false? Oh, boy. We didn't notice. And then Wood said false, and he's like, I'm sorry, false. They got mad. He's like, sorry, false. Sorry, you say it right. Here we go. All nervous. What kind of pins and needles? Wow. Dang it. There's her one. That was what I had. That's it. That was it. I didn't really need to walk in. You just were on pins and needles, but I'll allow it. Whatever. Here we go. Tidy. Pinned up. Pinned up. Pinned up. Pinned up. Pinned up. Oh, that's pen. Tidy. Pinned up. Not pinned up. Not pinned up. Neat as a pin.

1:06:16Never heard of it. You never heard of it? Neat as a pin? We're all tied with one. Neat as a pin. Here we go. Hold on. Gotta deal with the dip. Neat as a pin. I'm gonna start using that. So quiet you could. Here we go! Lauren got that one. Hair holder. Lauren. I can't think of another pin. Gagging poo-poo pin. Oh, gosh. Lauren has three. The rest of us have one. Okay. Here we go. It spins. Drainal pin. Drainal pin. Oh, my God. Drainal pin. It spins in the wind. Drainal pin.

1:07:16Weather pin! Weather pin! LLB got it. It's a weather pin. She said pinwheel. It's not dreidel pin? Lauren gets that. What gets this? Four. Lauren. Dreidel pin. A dreidel pin. Dreidel pin. Dreidel pin, dreidel pin, dreidel pin. I made it out of clay. Here we go. Lauren, that's more. That's more. There we go. How many more? There's two more on this card. Make them two-pointers. Okay, two-pointers. Here we go. Doe, Flattener. Oh! Rolling dinner! Rolling dinner! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Oh, my gosh. Humped the air. Yeah, he did. Thrice. I was robbed. Thrice. So what's the score? I don't even know what I can say. He did three throws. Score, Sienna? The score is Lauren, four, Woods, three, Mikey, and Sienna, one. Okay, here we go. This is it. This is it. Use. Both flippers and don't tilt. What? Use both flippers and don't tilt. Oh, my God. Say it. What? Jay. Pinball. Wow. Nice. Pinball? Oh, my gosh, Lauren. I'm freaking good at this. I was thinking of scuba diving. I had in my head, pin your ears back.

1:08:37Like, dig in, you pin your ears back, it never sucks. You know what I had? I had ear pin drop. I had pin head. Oh, good one. Yeah. So I was like, I was waiting for him to be like, he was in a horror movie. Pin head! I like the way Mikey's headphones are a little forward. It's weird. He looks all disheveled in the skew. Every time I got to answer it, I ran across the chair. L.O.B.'s good at this game. She is good. M1 Neo, are you there? Yeah. All right. L.O.B. just won you a pair of anarchy sunglasses. Woods, don't make that hand movement with your hands. A, it's inappropriate. B, she went fair and square. I...

1:09:28Might have farted when I was thrusting. Write that down! I might have. Oh my gosh. I can't wait for that rejoiner. You know that doctor? The doctor that's being accused of killing Michael Jackson says he didn't do it. He's pleading not guilty, so we'll tell you all about it later. Conrad Murray. Conrad Murray. And then Ochocinco is doing something real drastic again. Woods will tell you about it on Woods on Sports coming up. Weird. And holy cow. I, during the break, was finishing reading up recaps. And M1s and all of you here on the show are going to be lighted.

1:10:56To hear L.O.B. I've had a feeling it was me. Oh, yeah. So that's coming up in just a second. Let's see. Hoyle's coming in at 8. Why don't we do some Woods on Sports right now? Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get after it. Like a poop. Woods, Woods. I'm sitting too. Woods, Woods, Woods. Woods on Sports. Woods on Sports is brought to you by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Yay. Delicious. Well, is anybody else tired of the Jay Cutler bit? Because I'm getting tired of it. Yeah, I am. I'm a little tired of it. There was breaking news yesterday, and I mean breaking news. He got a splinter? No. He walked up the stairs at a restaurant in Chicago after the NFC Championship game. He walked up the stairs. Wow. Well, the reason that that's a big deal is because it says that he's not that hurt. Exactly.

1:11:58So that is a big deal, right? Is it? I don't care anymore. Is it, though? Isn't it? I think that he's a Sally. If the whole deal is, hey, man, he was really hurt, blah, blah, blah, you're like, he was walking upstairs. Walking upstairs. But that was the big story yesterday was Jay Cutler walks upstairs, which was interesting to me. But all the NFL players have come out, you know, they're tweeting. Now a lot of them are backtracking and saying, oh, just kidding. I didn't really, I wouldn't really question it as hard. I was just kidding. They were talking to Charles Barkley yesterday, and Charles Barkley had some strong words for those fellas. Cut one. Well, you know, I was mad. I was mad at the players, to be honest with you, because I think it's inappropriate and wrong to question a guy's heart. Now, reporters, hey, they're going to do what they want to. I mean, they're inside of their opinion. But as players, I don't think it's appropriate to question another guy's heart. I think Charles Barkley has called out more people than any reporter ever could. When he was playing, that was his bit. He did when he was playing? Always been. I thought it was when he was a reporter. Always been a big mouth. Always. Since day one with Philly. I knew this was a big mouth, but I didn't know he called people's hearts up. Always. Oh, my. That's his bit, man. That's Charles Barkley. He's always done that. Also, Chad Ochocinco. Oh, no.

1:13:24Last week tweeted how much he would love to be a part of the New England Patriots. The reporters then went and asked Marvin Lewis, who's the head coach of the Bengals, where Ocho Cinco plays. They said, hey, what did you think about those comments? And he said, well, Bill Belichick is not that stupid. No. Wow. Here's Ocho's response to it. But a caveat, there's also a real big announcement at the end of this audio. So listen close. Cut to. Hey, it is what it is. Look. I'm wearing stripes next year. I'm excited to come back. I'm ready to go. I'm not sure who will be at the helmet quarterback, you know. And that's it. That's all I can say. Oh, and I'm changing my name back to Johnson. Are you kidding me? What? Yeah. Why change it in the first place? He's done with the Ocho Cinco. His name will then once again be Chad Johnson. Does he think it's bad luck maybe? Since he's been terrible, since he's been Ocho Cinco, maybe. Yeah, and he realizes he might have to go to a team where he doesn't get to wear 8'5". And he might realize that he, with the name Ocho Cinco on his back, is kind of a dork. Yeah. You know? My baseball number is 22. I don't put Vente Dos on the back of my jersey. You know what I mean? I might have the kid on my bat, but I don't have Vente Dos on my back. Just as bad. No, it's not just as bad. He's not kidding.

1:14:43Oh, I'm not kidding. I know. I didn't do it, though. My teammate Jake did it for me. Well, then that's a little bit better. You didn't order it, though? I ordered it, but I didn't know it was coming with the kid. I didn't know. I didn't ask for the inscription. Jake did it. I think it's cool. I'm stoked because we have eight of the same bats. Now I walk up and I go, oh, there's mine. It's a kid on it. I like that. I'm excited. I'm excited. The San Diego Padres added another piece to their team, signing Jorge Cantu, Mikey. He's had a couple of good years. What he's going to be good for is coming off the bench in a tight spot. And he's had some good years a couple years back. But he's, again, a solid player, and that's what they keep adding. And then finally, Michael Vick is back to pitching products and endorsing things. You guys remember earlier in the season, he got banged up real, real good. His ribs were all hurt. So this company called Unequal, they make... They make vests. They make shoulder pads. They make all kinds of football equipment. They hook this guy up with this gear, and it's like armor, apparently. And he liked it so much, they asked him to endorse their product, and so he is back endorsing things for money. Big money. Congratulations, Mike Vick. That's a good thing for him to endorse, though, especially because he's known for getting so beat up. Absolutely. It's true. That's Woods on Sports. Woods hates him. I don't hate anybody. I love him. He's my fellow brother. Izzy. Yeah, he's forgiven. Izzy.

1:16:08Question, Elodie. Yes. Were you watching me read the recaps? Yeah, I was watching you read them and I was like, oh boy. You wanted to see what my reaction was? Yeah. Because when I read it, my eyes got as big as saucers. Ah, yeah. And now I will present it to you. You just never know. I guess I should have known that you'd want to talk about that. What? It sort of explains in the recap, but I'll... I'll explain further after. LOB says, yesterday I went to the mall with Matt, that's her boyfriend, to help him pick out some jeans. By the way, how long have you guys been back together? Three months. How long were you guys off? I don't know, four months maybe? Okay, because during that four-month time is very important to remember in context to this story. Woodsy is looking at me right now like, what is this? Yeah, what happened?

1:17:13She went to the mall with Matt to help him pick out some jeans. As they were walking through the stupid mall. Oh, wow. Stupid. Matt says, oh, I want to try out this new Evo phone. Hold on. Phone? Yeah, an Evo phone. Yeah. Okay. And heads over. No way. Yep. Oh, wow. And I knew people in their cars right now. The light. Yes. And I know people in their cars. Sienna's still confused. People in their cars, a lot of people, their lights just went. Was she here? Were you here? I don't know, but we'll see. I don't remember. Yeah, Sienna was here. So Matt says that he wants to try out the new Evo phone and heads over to a kiosk. Sienna just got it. I was definitely here. Lo and freaking behold, it's the same African-American kiosk guy.

1:18:10whose number I tried to get six months or so ago when Matt and I were broken up. That's not awkward. Oh, no. No, not at all. It's awesome. She says, I am 99% sure the guy recognized me. Of course. He recognized you. There was a small percentage of chance that... There's no percentage. You're the girl he's been telling, the white girl he's been telling his friends about for the last six months. No. Absolutely. I'm sure he gets hit on plenty. Really? He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. And obviously, Matt didn't say anything. I kept trying to look at fake emails on my phone until Matt was done trying out the phone. I never said a word, but I'm wondering why Matt didn't ask me why my face was bright red. Now, context, backstory. You know, Ella B was single mingle. And I have no game. No game. I tried to spit it, though. Well, it must be a thing. I must have people, you know, girls on the Mikey show that like black guys had a girl on the last show that.

1:19:26Like black guys. L-O-B likes black guys. They're very good looking. Matt is not black, though. No. No, Matt is not black. No. Waist down. Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Wink. Sure, Matt wouldn't have a problem with that comment. Matt's like, yeah! So, so she came up to this guy and very, you know. sly and very cool. Was I? Any sultriness in there? Maybe a little? I was trying to be coy. She must have been so awkward. Show me coy. Oh, so sweet. How do you do this? He told her that he had a girlfriend. And so she went to her car and had a pity party.

1:20:29She cried. I was feeling bad for myself. You're already feeling bad anyway. Yeah. And then you worked up the nerve. Yeah. You're going to make yourself feel better. I mean, I'm single. I'm single. And it'll make you feel better. Like you were thinking in your head, he'll say yes. I'll walk away from this thing kind of like, you know what? Still got it. Got it. Not only do I still got it, but I'm taking the bull by the horns. And I can cross something off my bucket list, you know? It's not easy. That's her bucket list. It's not easy. What do you mean it's my bucket list? It's not her bucket list. It's on her bucket list. It is not. To go out with a guy that's black? Okay, yes. To go out with a guy that's black. Because if that's the case, we've already crossed that off. Oh. You know what I mean. She doesn't mean go out with. Wink, wink. Oh, boy. Wink. Wink, wink. Wink. She's going to have intercom black. Enormous, huge. Wow. Oh, boy. I don't know where he's getting his information. Right. Just talking out of school again. Yep. So she went to her car. She cried. Sure did. Because she was already going through the breakup. Yeah. And now she was going through the humiliation of this guy. She's trying to get back out there and it just didn't go her way. Well, and she said what made it worse is that he did it in a way that was very nice and like real polite. And he was just like, he was letting you down easy. Wow. Which made it even more demeaning. Yeah.

1:21:55Yeah. It's okay. It happens. When he started walking up to that kiosk, did you just... No. I wasn't even thinking. I was just in our own. We were like joking, like calling each other like our nicknames and just talking about like funny stuff. That's the heartbeat. I keep thinking Jurassic Park. Yeah. It's a heartbeat. But it's a heartbeat inside of a tunnel. I like it. In your chest. I forget what I was saying now. You were walking up. You guys were playing grab ass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he was like, oh, the Evo. And I was like, huh? Before I could even figure out what he was doing. But as soon as he started walking over there, I looked. Well, first I looked because I always look at good looking black guys. And then I was like, oh, my God. And I was just like, okay, what should I do? What should I do? Should I? Because Matt heard the story. So part of me was like, should I be like, oh my gosh, it's you. And I went through all these things in my head. Thank God. And a little bit of me was like, is Matt going to be like, wait a minute. You, you, like, because he told me, like, he heard that story while we were broken up. Was he oblivious the whole time you guys were standing there? Like he had no, like there was no putting the dots together. He was like, wow.

1:23:14And checking out all the features. He wants this phone, this Evo phone. He's been talking about it forever. And he's going to get it. I guess he's just waiting for his contract or something. I don't know. Whatever. He's on Sprint. And so he was just like, oh, wow. And you can do this. And the guy's like, yeah, yeah. And explaining all the features and stuff. And he at one point looked up at me. How humiliating. How humiliating. How humiliating. Yeah. It looked like he was. almost trying to get my attention. And then I was like, well, what's going to happen? Is he going to say, hey? I'll take you up. I broke up with that girl if you still want to go out. No, he's smarter than that. I threw it in there that I wasn't on the Mikey show. Forgot about that. Of course you did. When I was trying to spit my game, I was like, just so you know. So I thought maybe he would be like, hey, Lauren from the Mikey Show. And then I thought there was going to be a light bulb that went off in that. So I really was. I mean, the heart was just going. My face. I don't know if the vein was out. Oh, the vein was out. There's no doubt in my mind. But I was just going through and I was even being like, oh, my gosh, look at this comment. Like, I was just pretending like maybe if he if he saw that. Is he finding out now or does he know or did he may or may not be awake? But yeah, if he's finding out, he's finding out now. You didn't say. Oh.

1:24:25That's brilliant. No, he wouldn't care. I mean, he heard the story, but I guess he wouldn't care. But I was just like, oh, it could have been so bad if the two of them got to talking. Yeah, and it's not like you go, hey, babe, let's go to the mall and go to this kiosk because I want to check out a phone. Yeah, it was his call, so he wouldn't be mad. He shouldn't be mad. Yeah, but my heart was just pounding. And then, do you ever have those things where... Something happens to traumatize you and you hear yourself still functioning and talking to people, but really you're in your head so much that you hear your own voice. Words are coming out. I'm talking, but I'm not in control of this operation. Aren't you that blonde girl that asked me out? I was waiting for him to go, Lauren, right? Yeah. Remember we met and I was... Remember, I had a girlfriend and you asked me out and I couldn't go out with you because I had a girlfriend. I wanted to go out with you. And remember, you said you was on a Mikey show and you asked me out. And I was like, I can't go out with you because I got a girlfriend. And you went away. And I think you cried when you got to your car. I don't think that he said before, I don't listen, but I'll check it out when I first talked to him. So I was like, he could have heard that entire story. He could be an M1 now. I have no idea. But Matt does. Matt goes, I love me.

1:25:43time we see a black guy like we do. Even if she's not there. I see a black child. We all do. He didn't do it because he was so fixated on the phone, but I was just waiting. I was waiting for the hammer to drop and my world to come crumbling down. That's nauseating. I know. I'm nervous just talking about it. That is the greatest. Never going to that mall again, just in case. She won't let me say either because the first time we talked about it, she want me to say. So I won't. Which mall? What? The mall. No, no, no. I hate the mall as it is. I didn't want to go to the mall. I was like, let's go to the prospect or something like that. And he was like, no, no, no, let's just go to the mall. Let's go to the flea market. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. This is crazy, in my opinion. And I want to point out that the email that I'm about to read to you is in all caps. Do you see that? Oh, wow. That is aggressive. Yes. Already, I don't like the hard caps bit. I feel like it's screaming. It is. It is screaming. So the email says, Mikey, I heard you mention last week that George Lucas believes the world will end in 2012. All right. I'll read it normal.

1:27:12Mikey, I heard you mention last week that George Lucas believes the world will end in 2012, and you brushed it off like it was insane. Well, the Mayans have believed this for centuries, since this is when their calendar ends. Oh, wow. So it must be true. Could be. I think it's irresponsible of you to not ask your listeners to prepare. Really? Cuckoo. I have bottled water, MREs, that is Meals Ready to Eat, USMC, a Kohler generator. Smart. Jay, what's a Kohler generator? A Kohler? Yeah, is that like the brand or is that the, what is that? Yeah, I've heard of, I think I've heard of Kohler. Call it Kohler. You sure it's not Kohler? I've always called it colored. Colored. Color generators. A Kohler generator and water purification. Many believe 2012 will be the end and I think it's response, I think it is.

1:28:09Irresponsible to not prepare. She put responsible, but I believe she means irresponsible to not prepare. M1 Karen. Could be a crackhead. Could be. Could be. She could be brilliant. Could be brilliant. Listen, nobody knows when the world's going to end. Especially not the Mayans. Yeah, listen. That was a movie, not a documentary. No, before then. This has been an ongoing thing for a long time. There's a reason the movie came out. Yeah, Mikey Nostradamus said it. Do you guys remember the creepy Y2K? God. We almost didn't even make it through Y2K. You don't know. You don't know. I mean, you should be prepared. Y2K? She's not saying. We're lucky to be here right now. Stop. We are lucky to be here. But you should have water. You should have first aid. Listen, if it's the end, it's the end. If it's the end, it's the end.

1:29:05No, what if it's just not the end? What if you can save yourself? For what? What if it's not the end, but what if our supplies and everything go belly up for a while? Well, Jay, what you're suggesting is certainly a good idea. Right. But have you done it? To have supplies. Yeah. We have, like, a first aid kit, you know. Oh, my gosh. I don't have anything. I don't have anything. I agree with her. She's not saying, look, you idiots, the world is ending. She said it's irresponsible. Well, she's not saying that. Listen, Santa, she says it's irresponsible to not. She says. She's not saying. My point is she's not saying the world is ending. She's saying, why not be prepared in case it does? She said last week we talked about George Lucas believing the world's going to end in 2000. And we brushed it off like it was insane. Because it is. And she says, I think it's irresponsible of you to not ask your listeners to prepare. Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah. So maybe, but I mean, I have to believe it's because of that, right? Mikey, monkeys may fly into that window today. We should board that window up. No. But it might happen. They have flying monkeys. Wait, wait, wait. But wait, Sienna, she says at the end, she goes, many believe 2012 will be the end, and I think it's irresponsible to not prepare. Because it is.

1:30:17I'm nervous if George Lucas believes it. No, not because of that. Because he never takes magic mushrooms, I'm sure. George Lucas came up with stormtroopers. That doesn't mean that he likes to spend the space. I've heard that the people in Hollywood have the in on stuff like this. They know smart people. They have money. Now I'm sold. They are prepared. Jennifer Love Hewitt. says that we need to prepare, then I'm prepared. If the President of the United States says that 2012 is the end, I still think he's crazy. I know, I do too. It's weird. Look at all the flooding going on in Australia, in Brazil. Mother Nature is mad. That stuff's been happening. Birds flying out of the sky. Chemtrails going up in the sky. The difference is, 30 years ago, that stuff happened, but there wasn't the internet, and there wasn't all this stuff to know every detail about. 2012 said the Mayans. Oh, boy. M1 Jake from Kearney Mesa may believe in it, too. Right, Jake? So-so. I still think it's a little hogwash, but there is scientific data that supports the whole 2012 thing. Okay, what is it? I read up online that the... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's stop there. You read up online. I read science journals. Science journals online. Science journals online.

1:31:35It's fine. You can get science journals online. So nothing is true online? You can't even look? But not everything is true online. Well, so what? Stuff is. Okay, but some stuff's not. Okay. But go ahead. I don't know if it's 100% accurate or not, but what they're saying is in 2012, the planets are aligning, which creates a certain gravitational pull on the planet messing with the, I don't know if it's called the electromagnetic force field around the planet. Yeah, yeah. It protects us from solar flares. In 2012, because of that alignment, it's supposed to create a tug on our solar hull field. And we're closest to the sun at that point in time. And there's supposed to be a storm on the side. So how's bottled water going to help you? That's what I don't agree with the whole preparing for the end of the world. If the world's going to end, I don't think there's anything we can do. But according to you, it's going to burn up. Yeah, that's what they're saying. The solar flares are supposed to be able to penetrate. It's pretty much going to just burn the planet up. Oh, it's a deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Well, I don't think that we know when anything's going to happen. I personally. Jake, are you living this year like it's your last? Right. Why aren't we? I live every day like it.

1:32:48Why are we here? Why aren't you at home with your daughter? Why aren't I sitting on a beach with my wife? Because I'm not saying it's going to happen. No one's saying it's going to happen. It's just, well, some people are saying it's going to happen. A lot of people are. Right. But there is, you know, why not be prepared if it does? And what if you don't, the earth doesn't burn or whatever? I'm just saying. Well, at least I got a bottle of water then. No, if you can save yourself and if. Because it's going to be mayhem. Yeah, it's going to be Godzilla. It's going to be like... People are going to be going to the grocery store. They're going to be trying to get all this stuff if they can. I'm just going to Jay's. I'm set. No. I'm going to Jay's house. I have a gun loaded. You're going to want to be prepared because it's going to turn to madness. And if you already have your surprise... So I got four cases of bottled water. I'm in good shape. I'm not sure the exact date, but it's supposed to happen. Oh, there's a date. There's a date. It's like December something, 2012. I want to say December 12th. I want to say the 12th. That's what I wanted to say, too. 12, 12, 12. How fitting. How fitting. But you guys, I'm sorry. Are you getting bottled water and generator? I haven't, but I should, and I want to. Are you going to? Yeah. If I get my butt to the store. I don't even have a fire extinguisher. I want to get in our pool salt water so that you can put it through the machine so that you can drink it. I'm just going to Jay's. I'm going to Jay's. There may not be electricity. How are you going to get there? I'm going to walk.

1:34:09Wow, that's a long walk with a baby. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Listen, it's a deal. You know, we don't know when it's going to happen. And I don't have a problem with people preparing for disaster. Right. Not this 2012 cockamamie stuff. And don't say that we, as a morning radio show, are irresponsible for not saying. Go take your butt to Albertsons today and you'd get you some bottled water. But she's, you know, just looking out for everyone, which is nice of her. She wants everyone to be safe. Chris found it. December 21st, 2012 is when the Mayan calendar ends. Oh, we don't even get Christmas. 12, 21, 12. We'll be renegotiating our contract later on. So maybe we just say, we're like, look, why don't you just put on there? $18 billion because it's not going to matter. It's not going to matter. It's not going to matter. What if something happens, you guys? Then it's meant to be, man. That's the way I feel about it. I will text you and I'll be like, OMG. You won't be able to text. I'll text you. I'll put OMG. You were right. The letter U. I'm hoping it doesn't happen. I really, in my heart. I'm hoping. I'm hoping. Wait, wait, wait. You are? In my heart.

1:35:27In your heart, you're hoping. In your head, you won. In your heart. In my heart, I feel like it won't. I hope. But I feel stupid if I don't prepare. Real interview, by the way. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. I'm scared. Knock on wood. I'm scared now. Knock on wood. I'm superstitious. You guys know that. It probably will. It probably will. Hey, Mike, is the world going to end? It probably will. I will be at work December 21st. You got me iced tea? Well, you better make it Sunday. Because it's going to be hot. You got any bottle water? Do you have some sort of electrical generator? That's Damone, by the way, people. Hey, Stacy. Yeah? Do you have any ham sandwiches?

1:36:25I've just burned up my Earth, Wind & Fire tickets. Yeah, I was trying to stay warm. I burned up my REO Speedwagon t-shirt. When we come back, Coyle makes his pitch to Sienna. You wanted it more than I did. You wanted it more than I probably will. Our boy Jared is officially a member of the Better Business Bureau. How do you like that? Yeah, he just got it. It's pretty cool. We're real happy for him. Gosh darn, man, the guy is good. He's accredited with the Better Business Bureau. And of course he is. Just an amazing, amazing designer. And you can see his stuff by going to createyourdesignonline.com. And it's really, really good stuff that he does. Anything for the web, anything in print, anything graphic design. He's just really, really good. I use him for everything. And he does really fast work. I just can't say enough.

1:38:05about him to really get across how I feel. Dude, I wrote him at 1 o'clock on Saturday for an idea that I have for my new son. And by 3 o'clock, it was done. Like, done, and here's pick one. Okay, that's the one I like. Okay, give me a week. It'll be done. He called me two hours later, and it was like, he goes, okay, I got it. I don't need any more information, and it's going to be stunning. It's going to hang over my kid's bed. Y'all just going to keep talking about the spokesperson for Subway all morning long or what? That's the wrong Jared. That's a different Jared. Did I get my shot at the big time here? Y'all just going to big time me? I guess. What's the big time? I have a proposal and I've been waiting to let Sienna know about it until this moment. Sienna, I have decided that I am going to help you. Help me with hope. Your engorgement of your boobs? No. Which would be terrifying. Sienna, I am going to help you to advertise for Choose Fitness. She's doing pretty good. You're welcome. I think I'm doing okay. You're welcome. I guess I could always use help. Now, there's a reason. Why? I need...

1:39:29The kid needs some free tans. Easy. I already have tans. I'm the kid, too. You're not the kid, too. I am. You are not. Like the kid, the number two, or the kid also? No, I'm also the kid. No, you are not. There can only be one the kid. Yeah. So, Sienna, the kid needs some free tans. You do need to get a nice little tan. I have a base. I have a base. I thought you said talons. Like Jay. No, not talons. At Choose Fitness. Yeah. They have unlimited tanning. They have unlimited tanning. Yeah. And I've put on a base. We had a... You call that a base? You're pasty white. I am not pasty. The clinical term is butt white, is what you are. You're translucent. You look like Edward Cullen. Y'all want me to pull my waistband down so you can see? No. I'll show you the line. No. Do you need a Playboy sticker on your inner thigh? No, I don't. I'm not homosexual, and you want to know something else? I have a tan where my tank top is. Oh, that's a farmer's tan. Tank top.

1:40:43That's not a farmer's tan. You can't wear your shirt off. If you're a fella, you've got to wear a tank top. Oh, boy. You can take a shirt off. You wear a tank top? Yes, I wear a tank top. Like when you go out? Yeah, what am I, Prince? I'm going to take my shirt off. Wear a shirt with a collar. Where are you wearing tank tops? Mission Beach, where I tan. That's where I got my base. So you don't take your shirt off at all? No, I put on a... I put on suntan oil. And I put on my, what is so funny? Would you wear your tank top in the tank? There's other guys out there with tank tops too. I wasn't the only one. Those are gay guys. No, the gay guys will take their shirts off. And I'll be like, what are they doing? Can you take your shirt off? Yeah, take your shirt off. You can take your shirt off if you're a man. No, you can't. I'll do it right now. No. Oil. Yeah. So anyway. Be so uptight.

1:41:43If I go into the tanning booth, I will take my shirt off because it's private. Why do you need? Oh, you're going to help me endorse for them. And in exchange, I need to get you a gym membership or? Here's how it'll work. I have come up with a jingle. Oh, wow. You've really thought this through. It's a long jingle. All right. And then you can talk over it or, excuse me, whatever you want. But it's a one minute long jingle and you can use it however you choose to use it is up to you. You have this ready? You're going to sing an acapella? No, no, no. I've got it produced and everything. Oh, my goodness. Oh, baby, you got to choose. Use that body. You can talk over it. Not now, but you got to hear the whole thing. Okay. You got to choose. I love it.

1:43:24That's not bad. That's not bad, oil. So basically, if I were to do a commercial, I would just play that and kind of talk over it and say, you know, gym membership is only $9 a night. Okay. Hey, it's Sienna with the Mikey Show. I want to make sure they hear you too. And, you know, I just joined a brand new gym. It's called Choose Fitness. Yeah, you want to come on right into the gym. It's only $9.99 a month. And not only do you just work out and use all the machines. They also had unlimited tanning, don't they, Hoyle? Yes, they did. They have hydro massages, classes, anything you could ask for at Choose Fitness. So do the right thing. Choose Fitness. Give the website. It's chusefitness.com. You get it. You got it. She's a pro. She's a pro. Now, I would try to talk up to the very end because the very end of the jingle is probably the best part. But here comes the end of it. I love it. I love it. Every commercial I do from now on, I may need that. 100%. Yeah, so I'm willing to do some sort of a trade option. Oh, okay. Well, they use air talent, right? Yeah. I'm a jingle maker. I'm a jingle maker. I'm a money maker. I'm a bread maker. I'm a booty shaker. I'm a music maker.

1:44:57Are you? I'm a tan flaker. I'm a choosing. You're a gig taker. Yeah. Yes. I'm a black girl. What the heck? Isolate, isolate, isolate. What the heck? I'm a black girl. I'm just saying I got soul and everything. What? Well, everything else rhymed. Go into the Mission Valley store. Ask for Corey. He's the manager. He may hook you up if you play him. He may hook me up. I'm only the station manager of KBZ, of the entire Lincoln Financial Media cluster. If you had that kind of pull, you wouldn't need to go through CNN. Right. Go over her. Don't all big time up. I'm trying to humble myself. If you're the big guy at Lincoln Financial, then you can afford $10 a month for a gym membership. It tastes better when it's, it's like they said in Goodfellas, tastes better when it's stolen. Don't steal your gym membership. That's what I'm saying. It tastes better when it's free. What happened? What? I had a little cramp or something. What happened? You're sad. Am I sad? You're sad. I had a cramp. You got a cramp? Yeah.

1:46:13Like my doll type of cramp? Like menstrual. You got a menstrual cramp in your sack? I felt like somebody shot me with an arrow. Now you know how we feel. Yeah. Maybe I should take the day off work. Maybe you can... Shut up. We don't do that. Not you guys, but other girls I know. Maybe you eat something besides meat. Maybe. Seriously. And tons. Seriously. Well, that was a good point. Woods eats a lot of meat. I eat a lot of red meat. It's all right. It's not good for your cholesterol. I know, so I'm not going to eat Wendy's like I did yesterday. I'm not going to eat McDonald's like I did last night. Bacon cheeseburger? Oh, you guys. Was it as good as the first time? You did it again? Mike was raving. You guys, you don't understand the bacon on this bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's. I won't do it again. It was so crispy. I promise. It was so good. Let's go today. I felt so bad. I felt so guilty. It tastes good. What else did you get? I got the same thing. I got, it's like a number five. Bacon cheeseburger? Single. I can never understand. They go like this. They go. Every time I go, excuse me? I genuinely do not understand what you're saying. Okay. Can I just? Just give me number six. Right.

1:47:37I'll take it. Yeah. I don't understand what they're saying. Have you guys heard this new bit when you pull up to a drive-thru? Hi, would you like to try our new strawberry parfait? No, I'm good. Yeah, can I help you? Yes. It's a totally different voice. It's like a recording. Yeah. L-O-B, do the parfait thing. This is what you hear when you pull up to a drive-thru. Yep. Hi, would you like to try our new parfait? Can I help you? Yeah, that's exactly right. And you're like, no. They play a recording first. Yep, it's a recording. Because the girl's voice is supposed to sell you? I guess. This is not going to be politically correct. How come I can't understand drive-thru people at most every fast food joint, but when I go to In-N-Out, it's different. It's different. I'm going to say it's different. Really? Be different. I can understand. The last time I went to In-N-Out, though, they have people that come to your window now and they're like, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's badass. Yeah. It is badass. But it's also like when you go to the window. Yeah. And, you know, like they're very courteous. I can understand them. Listen, lest anybody give me a hard time. Weird. I want everyone to know that I'm Mexican.

1:49:03I know that the employees at In-N-Out get paid pretty well an hour. Maybe that has to do with their attitude. They're happy. They're getting paid more for a reason. Can I get a number two? Can I say that again? A number two, it's the two cheeseburger meal, no pickles. You want a cheeseburger with two pickles? No, I want a number two, the two cheeseburger meal with no pickles. Can I help you? I need a number two. You can order whatever you want. I'm ready. I just said I want a number two with no pickles. Number two with no pickles? Yes. What would you like to drink, please? Coke. Size, please? Medium. Would you like a Coke? Yes, a Coke. What size would you like? Medium. That would be 624 at the first window, please. Okay. That is every experience. Every experience. But for whatever reason, you go to In-N-Out and you hear, hello, welcome to In-N-Out. How can I help you? You're looking dapper in your car right now. I love that sweater. It sounds like Ted Williams. Yeah. It's like Ted Williams works at In-N-Out.

1:50:33Hello and welcome. What can I get you today? Oh, I'll have a number one. Would you like cheese with that? Absolutely. What kind of drink can I get for you? Coca-Cola. Wonderful. What size? Medium. Pull to the first window. That'll be $7.24. You know what I wish they would say to make me feel better about driving through? And I don't know why the employees don't say that. Oh, that's my favorite choice. Or, ooh, that's especially good today. Or something like that. I'll go, ooh, yeah. Okay, I'll make a large fry instead of medium. Really? Oh, they'll sell me if they were on my side. They make me feel bad about ordering. Yeah. Well, they hate their jobs. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Really? Maybe I know too much about drive-thrus. Yeah. Maybe they recognize your car when you're pulling in. Yeah. Maybe we decided. in my house that neither of us really feel like making dinner ever, and maybe I went to McDonald's last night and got a newspaper and ate two cheeseburgers and a six-piece McNugget and a fry and a large Coke. Whoa. Last night? Last night for dinner. That could explain the pain in your side. Is this a scream for help? What did I have? Tell you again. I had two cheeseburgers, a six-piece McNugget, a large fry, and a large Coke. What kind of dipping sauce? All of them? I got it down. No, I got barbecue and hot mustard, and I mix. Oh.

1:51:44Freaking delicious. I know it. It's freaking delicious. Why is everything that's so bad so good? How come those fries tasted delicious? Dude, I ate every... Did you get something for Jamie? Disgusting. No, she was cleaning and stuff, and I had a meeting to go to, so... For Little League, weird. Weird? Why is that weird? Your heart is screaming out. Did I tell the Nita In-N-Out story? Off the air. Off the air, you did. We pulled into In-N-Out. And Nita is very healthy. She's a vegetarian. She's our Hungarian nanny. She's very healthy. She's vegetarian. Very fit. She's very fit. Yeah. Works out. So we pull into. Creepy Uncle Jay. So we pulled into the In-N-Out. And Rebecca goes, Nita, would you like In-N-Out? And Nita goes, oh, In-N-Out. This is dangerous. I laughed so hard. Wow. Good for her. Because Rebecca turned her on to it, right? She got the sandwich, no fries. And you could tell she didn't want to have to get the no fries. Oh, yeah. But she was like, she goes, the sandwich. I'll take the sandwich. No meat. Yeah, no meat. She gets a grilled cheese like my wife. That's what I get. Yeah, imagine poor Nita. She wouldn't have gotten it if you guys hadn't have driven through.

1:53:17If you're the person that doesn't get it, you're in it. No, no, she wanted it, though. Yeah, well, of course. Everyone wants it. She could have waited to get home and made something. No. She wanted it more than you did. You wanted it more than I did. You cannot be in that car with that food and know nothing is yours in that bag. No, you can't. You cannot do that. Oh, my gosh. It's physically impossible. The feeling of that big bag coming into the car and you're in the car and you're like, nothing in there is mine. Here you go. Feast on that. And people are passing it around. Give me a try. I've gone 180 on In-N-Out. Here's your fries. I'm all the way in on In-N-Out. All the way in on In-N-Out. Yeah, all the way in. So good. Really? Yep. The lettuce is so crispy and fresh. What's their bit? It's fresh. I'm in. I was sold. I was wrong. And I admit it. I haven't been to In-N-Out in a year. I told Rebecca, I said, I think that hamburger that I got at Wendy's is by far and away more delicious than the In-N-Out. Wendy's is freaking good. Both of them. All of them. She was so offended by that. In-N-Out is so fresh. Clean, clean. It's clean. It's so fresh and so clean. It seems clean. It does seem clean. You know what? It's got that annoying zesty sauce in it. I love that sauce, bro. Oh, and you know what else my problem is? And I told Rebecca this. I go, you know what I wish I could do with the In-N-Out burger? I want to turn the volume level down on the intensity of their onions.

1:54:42Yes, very strong onions. Those onions, you bite into them. And I'm like, holy cow. You can ask for less onions. That's what she said. And you know what? Every time they take your order, at least in my case, they say, do you want onions? Do you want onions? Because they know that they're strong. They warn you. They're probably fresh. I like the McDonald's dehydrated tiny little onion squares. Oh, I hate those. I love them. Oh, my God. Eat a bowl of them. M1 Sassafras from Coronado. M1 Sassafras has some news. Go ahead, Sassafras. Just going to let you guys know that completely founded on the whole philosophy of be different. And they are, their training and everything about them is to be a different, you know, fast food chain. And it was actually founded by a Christian family. And if you look at the bottom of the cup, and not everyone knows that, but it is disseminated over the whole company to be different. Did you ever work at In-N-Out?

1:55:51No, I didn't. I watched this whole thing on, like, PBS or whatever, where, you know, that guy that goes around all of San Diego and finds out the origin of things? I can't remember his name. Larry Hemel. Yes. Making up names? That's not his name. It's not even thrown out there. No, he went to headquarters, and they talked about the story and the philosophy of In-N-Out and how they want... happy employees that are different and they do pay them well. But if you actually look at the history of it, it was founded on Christian principles. Really? Yes. I knew they put a Bible verse under their cups, but I didn't know that it was founded on principles and all that stuff. That's a good philosophy to teach us. people to be different. It's not my favorite hamburger, but it's good. They can be our next Be Different spokespeople. There you go. Thank you for the call. You're welcome. I want In-N-Out now. Dang it. How do you not want it now? Rebecca's order is a number two no tomato and onion. Add onion. Tomato and grilled cheese is so good. She doesn't like that tomato.

1:57:14Have you ever used this in movies, this song? In September. A 12-year-old boy learns the meaning of flight. Does that sound like that? We got this email in there. And we'll ask you, what would you do? That's coming up next. All right, so we're going to be... Read me this email here in a second. I want to get your feedback on it. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, you'll never guess whose Facebook profile got hacked. Who? Mark Zuckerberg. The founder.

1:58:22The founder of Facebook, and they wrote on his wall and said, let the hacking begin. If Facebook needs money instead of going to the banks, why doesn't Facebook let its users invest in Facebook in a social way? Why not transform Facebook into a social business the way Nobel Prize winner Mohamed Yannis described it and then put like this link? Oh, wow. Yeah, so he had a message clearly. This guy tried to out-nerd me. You can't out-nerd a nerd. You can't? No. So you're telling me that it didn't offend you and it didn't have its effect. No, first of all, I knew they were going to hack me. I thought it was a way to get exposure to this Muhammad guy. He's really so insignificant to me that it doesn't matter. That's true. I can understand that. I can see where you're coming from. This is my life, so I know it's not that dramatic. There you go. Also, the California Highway Patrol has released their latest cell phone sweep results. They had a big sweep. All the cops looking for people on their cell phones between January 18th through January 20th. So just during the weekend.

1:59:22593 citations were issued to those people. Holy cow. Yeah, all for using your phone. Over the weekend? Texting, talking on your phone. Oh, my God. Yeah, just over two days. I think it was. He's irritated them for giving the tickets. I'm going to squeeze this one story in really quick, too, because I keep seeing it on the TV all morning. Yeah. Is a real estate agent from La Jolla. You may have heard this disgusting story. She was, she's been, she's. Sorry, been sentenced to two years in jail. Come on, Jay. I get flustered when it's gross stuff, especially when it involves a baby. She befriended women at the park and stuff and scratched their babies with her nail on their face. It happened to eight different babies. What a weirdo. And she was in court yesterday, and she has to serve a two-year term. And she was like a real estate agent? A real estate agent from La Jolla. I mean, looks like a totally normal woman. You'll see. She's been on the TV all morning. And, I mean, scratched him pretty bad, too. Why? That's a great question. She's obviously not stable. It's a thing.

2:00:23Yeah, and I would be fascinated if there is a psychologist or psychiatrist listening that knows what that is. Like why they do that. What is that? Seek pain. Yeah, why do people cut themselves? Why do people eat their own hair? But that has a name, you know, like it has a name. And there's also a reason that they do it. And I want to know what, you know, what that's about. Why do people kill dogs and stuff for sport? Oh, yeah. The mothers were right there, too. in front of them, this woman would just scratch their babies. Unbelievable. And she got away. I mean, how'd she do it six times? Eight times. Eight times. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I know. That's terrible. They were probably so, the mothers were preoccupied with their babies. Helping their kids that they weren't chasing her. And she probably only did it with moms that were by themselves. It makes me just sick. That's why I'm like, I can't even say it. It just freaks me out. I would kill someone. Oh yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, two very prestigious basketball institutions, North Carolina and Michigan State are in talks to play a game on an aircraft carrier in San Diego. Really? Wow. That is going to be pretty cool. That's great. They're talking about November 11th, which is Veterans Day. It will be awesome. That would be great. It will be awesome to watch a basketball game on an aircraft carrier. So it's not finalized yet, but we are in the works. That's pretty awesome. Also, what a year for college football, man. $170 million.

2:01:50is what the conference has made from the BCS, the Bowl Championship Series games. Unbelievable. $170 million. The players, besides Cam Newton, got none of that money. Oh, boy. None of that money. You don't know that Cam Newton got it. You know. Hey, Mike. Let's talk about tonight's 8 o'clock album. No problem, Garrett. Let me do it. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, guided by voices. Mag Earwig. Well done, Garrett. That's tonight's 8 o'clock album. It's a good one. By the way, I'm making a big announcement with Hillary at 10. It's a big announcement. Extremely cool. And it's going to cause some traffic jams, perhaps. I've never heard of anything like this before. People are going to freak out. Only something that this station would do. It's pretty awesome. 4MinuteStory.com

2:02:53Uh, they did a, a deal on me and you can read it by going to four minute story.com, uh, came in and interviewed me a couple of weeks ago and, uh, just put my story up and it's really cool. Four minute story.com is a deal where they, uh, just cover people that are trying to make a difference in the community. And I am, uh, with be different, uh, packed.org. And so you can go and check out four minute story dot com and and see the article. OK, so now this email email. Morning, Mikey show. I did something this morning that has me racking my brain for a solution and was hoping for your help. This morning when I got into work, I went into our office kitchen to make some coffee and found a fifty dollar bill next to the microwave. I'm not going to lie. The thought. of keeping it did cross my mind especially since we don't have security cameras in the building but of course I didn't instead I sent out an email to everybody in the building asking if somebody left a 50 by the microwave well two people responded and said it was theirs that's sick what do I do

2:04:20How do I decide whose money it really is? Oh, wow. Thanks for your help, M1 Dana. Oh, my gosh. What a conundrum. That is a conundrum. Two people. Someone's a monster. Well, you know what? Potentially two people could be monsters. Yeah. You're right. Potentially. There may be somebody sitting at his desk working or her desk, and they don't even know they lost it. Oh, wow. That's better just to keep it. It makes the person who it might have one of those two people who it might have been look like a monster because one of those people ruined it. Yeah. What a clown. You should have said in your I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You should have said I found some money by the microwave and then have them tell you how much. Well, right. Yeah. How does she backpedal now? Yeah. I mean, I found a 20. Yeah. You can't. You're screwed. Could you say like. Was it folded? Was it not? I mean, is that nuts? Yeah. What was the serial number? Yeah. What was the serial number? What are some distinguishing marks? Yeah. There was a screen on it. It was green. It had a big face on it. Yeah. Would you say that it was crisp or? Oh, good one. Loose. I don't know. I wouldn't have even known. I have no idea. If it was mine. Yeah. I would say I have no idea. I probably wouldn't know.

2:05:41I probably wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. I'd copy them both on an email saying, hey, you guys work it out. Let me know what you figure out. Oh, wow. Wow. That's pretty huge. That's not bad yet. And then one guy's got to go, I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I didn't mean it. No. Like, that's shady. They'd be like, why do you think it's yours? Why do you think it's yours? And then the one person would have to back down. You know what? But if you didn't back down. But you know what, though? Not very many people carry 50s. Yeah. You guys don't carry 50? That's a very, you know what I mean? Right. I wonder if this woman made like a judgment call. Well, one of them's like in management and one of them's down in the mail room. So I kind of have an idea who's lying. Shady is shady. Shady is shady. I like what Jay said. Have them email each other. Tell them to figure it out. If I had, if that money wasn't mine and I had said that it was. I would never back down because how would they know? And especially if they did that, copied the other person on it. Yeah. You don't want to be the one that got caught in a lie. If I really lost a 50, though, and you didn't and you weren't backing down, I'd be like, I know you were a liar. Yeah. Yeah. But then the other person could say, I know you're a liar because you don't want to be the person that said that 50 is mine because you look like a monster because you are. Right. I bet the person that really had the 50 then would be like.

2:07:01I'll just have it then because I don't want to have it out with somebody. M1 Rich is from Penasquitos. Hey, good morning. Good morning. I think that she should ask the person, where did you leave it where I found it? And then what $50 bill was it? Was it the one with the little head? Was it the one with the big head in the center? Was it the one with the center off center? You know, because there's three different types of $50 bills. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't either. And she said it was by the microwave. Yeah. Even if I lost a $50, I wouldn't know. If you knew where you left it, then why did you leave it? I lost a $50 in a store. You know what I mean? Hey, oh, I left it right by the corner of the back corner. Right. Well, why the hell did you leave it back there? Right. You know what I mean? She's toast. She keeps it. I say she keeps it. I know right now I have two fives in my wallet. I don't know if they're the old fives or the new fives. You're right. Mike gave me five fresh 20s this morning. Because I owed you $100. You sure did. I lost a $50 bill in a store. And I wasn't like, well, I'd know if someone paid with the big-headed one if that was theirs or if that was mine. And I had an idea.

2:08:10Of where I lost it, but I was like, I couldn't go around accusing anybody because I was like, oh, somebody has my fresh 50 in the store. Fathers keepers, right? Yeah, I guess so. You're like, yeah, I guess one of you guys is a real punk, huh? Happy birthday, store. Oh, man. I didn't go in. I still don't like to go in there. M1 Juliet from Mission Hills. Hi there. Hello. Okay, obviously, the woman who wrote that email is not a mother of multiple children who fight and blame each other all the time. Yeah. Because she admitted that she found it by the microwave. She should have just said, I found something today. Is anybody missing anything? That's where she, unfortunately, kind of blew it. Yeah, hindsight 2020. Yeah. Yeah. Now she needs to just say, listen, you guys, figure it out. Obviously, one of you is lying. If you're not going to admit it, then I'm just going to keep it. Nobody's going to admit it. Nobody's going to go the rest of their work life knowing that they're the creep. You would have to quit before you had to do it. I'd write them both and go, all right, you guys got 10 minutes to work this out. If not, I'm tearing it in half. If I were the liar, I'd probably go to the bank, get a 50 out, fold it all up, and be like, I found mine. Oh, I got mine. It must be yours. I love me. I should go to the bank on my lunch break and be like, look at this, the bottom of my purse.

2:09:25I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Last place I thought I'd be. I'm so sorry. M1 Terry from Poway. I would take the 50, have the two people meet in the coffee room, and I would just put the 50 on the table and walk away from it. Oh. Yeah, but you know both are going to be like... And what if someone else finds it before they get there? Yeah. Ooh, 50 bucks. Janitor. Yeah. Nice tip. And there's no cameras. You're already removing yourself from the desire of keeping the 50 from yourself, right? I just keep it. You know what I would do? I would have kept it in the first place. You know what I would do? I would take the 50 and I would go individually to the people. I'd go to them. Well, what would you say? Okay, let's say Woods and Sienna both said it, okay? First of all, I believe that the guy's lying. Because she has nice hands. No, no, no. If I got an email from a guy, and that's sexist, I know.

2:10:21But if I got an email, one from a guy, one from a girl, saying that it's their 50, I would be leaning towards the woman telling the truth. Men carry more cash than women. True. Yeah, but women are more forgetful. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. Women, it's more likely for a woman to be rustling through her purse and put stuff on the counter and then put it away than a man for just to pull out a dollar bill and put it on the counter. Am I totally naive to believe that women are more honest? Yes, I'm naive. Women are shady, dude. We don't do anything wrong. Look, when I go to the, when I used to get a Pop-Tart every morning. More male criminals. I would take my thing out. I'd look for a dollar. I could easily drop a 50. You've got a big, giant purse with stuff down in there. Well, I would go individually. I'd go individually. I'd go into Woods' office. And I'd go, hey, you wrote back that you lost that 50. Don't say anything. I've got to tell you something. What? Somebody else said that it was theirs, too. You are freaking kidding me. I bet it was abroad, wasn't it?

2:11:23Oh, you wouldn't say that. It was. It wasn't. I'm not going to tell you who it was. It was Sienna. That's ridiculous, man. Dude. I lost a 50. I just won. This guy at work thought he was right about something and he was wrong. With the story, he's a liar. And he owed me 100 bucks. He gave me 250. You know what, though? Liar. That guy was probably actually right and got screwed out of that bet. But probably not. Probably not. But regardless. But regardless. Are you sure you lost 50? Yes, I lost a 50. I wouldn't lie to you. I'll be right back. You're going to go talk to that person, Sienna? Yes. Really? What if she said the same thing? I'm sure I'm going to get my 50 back now. Are you telling me the truth? Did you see her skirt today? She's got the boots on that I don't like? I don't care. It's not about that. I want to give the person this belongs to. It belongs to me. You're in the right place. I understand, bro, but she said it too. I'll be back. You know what? Just keep it. You are a liar then. I'm not lying. You are too. You just told me to keep it. You wouldn't say that if you weren't telling the truth. Just keep it. Because I know what's going to happen. I've seen her cans. Really? Is that right? Because your pants are on fire right now. But they are not. Yeah, they are. Liar, liar. Liar, liar. I'm going to talk to her. Oh, fine. Oh, my lifesaver. Oh, you found my money. Thank you so much. How did you lose it? Oh, my. What do you mean? I was in the kitchen. I was getting my coffee together and I brought a little breakfast hot pocket that I had in the microwave and I was cooking it.

2:12:48Side note. Pause. She's suspicious to me. Yes. I am telling you guys. She's too cheery. She is suspicious to me. Unpause. You did? Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, I never have cash. So it's so like me to just leave it because I'm not used to having it. But my housekeeper is at our house today. Pause. Pause. Way too much information. He's got so many details. I'm so mad. Woods started to give you too much. There's this thing that I won. Well, I was doing that because it's an inside to an inside. Unpause. And so my housekeeper's at my house. And so, yeah, I stopped on my way into work to get some cash. Okay, well, the only reason that I wanted to talk to you about it. Talk to me about it. Yeah, because Woods said that he lost 52. You believe that? Kind of not. This is what we're talking about. This is money. You're seriously not going to give it to me? Pause. She's good. I got to admit, she's making me feel like I'm a monster and she's got girl power. Girl powers are working on me right now. I'm already thinking, if I don't give her that money, she's not going to like me. And she's a girl. I don't know that I can take this. Unpause. No, no, no. I'm not saying that, Sienna. So just give it to me.

2:14:06Forceful. Oh, that. Wow. Well. What do you mean well? Okay. Is there anything about it that you can describe? I just want to be fair. Anything. Well, all I know is it was a 50. I only got 150. I have a couple other ones in my wallet, but it's for my housekeeper who I pay $50 to every other Thursday. Today is Thursday. I stopped in on my way to work. Okay. I believe you. I don't believe her. I would give her the money. I do not believe her. Which is just what I said in my office. I would give her the money and I do not believe her. Which is just what I said in my office. Here's an easy way to do it. Oh, I love you. Give me a hug. Thank you. Don't you have a receipt from the transaction this morning? Yeah. Do you have a receipt from the transaction this morning? Yeah. Oh, please. Oh, dude. You're not going to say that. Jay would. I want to see the receipt. Can I see the receipt? He would say that. I want to see the recipient. You know how they say at the ATM, do you want your receipt? I always push no. Can I just see your bank account? Pull up your bank account. You can cover everything now. You are dead. You're going to look at my bank account, you birdo? I'm going to show you my bank account. You are dead. I didn't say that. She's dead. You have proof. You can get her. After talking to her, I believe that you were telling me. But she gets the 50. She's getting the 50 because, and it doesn't have anything. Listen, I'm being as honest as I can be about it.

2:15:27You, I'm sure, believe it's the size of her breasts. A hundred. I'm telling you, it's because she's a girl and I can't stand the judgment of a girl looking at me and being like, you're the guy. that didn't give me my 50, even though I know full well. But now you're going to be ostracized by Woods and all the dudes. Oh, yeah. Now me and all my boys are like, you're going to have to go to lunch with all the girls now. Hey, you're going to lunch by yourself. You guys going to get a Matty Petty, dude? You know what? We take my 50 bucks. He'll say that you're pee whipped. Yeah. That's the word he did. You know what I would do? I would go, really? Is Sienna a liar? Yes. Yes. Is she really? Yes. She lied. You guys are clowns. Hey, bro, I found out my money. You guys are clowns. Hey guys, let's go to lunch. That's Sienna you're talking about. He's just eating by himself. Let's go to lunch. See you later. Mike, I made some banana bread. Would you like a slice?

2:16:25You'd be with all the women in the office. Hey, look, Mikey's paying for a woman again. Weird. All the guys going out for pizza. Mikey's like, where are you girls going? Get a salad. Do you know what actually went through my mind as she was explaining? Because I was like, she's a liar. And it went through my mind. I was like, in this situation, I might consider that this situation is going to cost me 50. Because I'm going to give her that 50. And then I'm going to get 50. I believe that. And I'm going to give it to Woods, and I'm going to go, all right, bro. I believe that. That is brilliant. That's the key right there. You find a 50, it ends up costing you a dollar. It costs me $50. I think I'd pull myself out of the equation. I'd go to the GM and say, hey, here's the deal. Oh, my gosh. Jay would do that. Such a chattletale. Okay, I would explain the situation to both of them and say, look, I found this 50. You said you had it. You said you had it. Instead of everyone hating each other, I'd say, look. You know what? You get 25. You get 25. That way, you don't lose 50, but you don't get it all back, and everyone's happy.

2:17:27you do? You do a jump ball. You put it in the middle and you take it and you go, ready? It's going to rip. Hey, wait a minute though, Woods. M1 Scott from Rancho Bernardo, he's actually got a pretty good idea of what you could do. Go ahead, Scott. Morning. Take everybody to lunch. Take everybody to lunch for the money. The three of you all go to lunch. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The whole office. For 50 bucks. Wow. Jay's like, where's this restaurant? But then the person who's 50 and is will be like, that's BF. That's my money. Happy birthday, everybody. By the way, M1 Lizzie from Cardiff. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Hey, guys. Lizzie just blew the top on this. Uh-oh. Blew her mind. And I have Lizzie. Okay, let's just say this. Lizzie works in the office. Okay. Lizzie works in the office. Sienna. Yeah. I just walked back into your office with Lizzie. Okay. Hey, Sienna. Hey, what's up? Hey, Mike. Hey, Sienna. I was telling Lizzie about the money and everything, and she brought something up to me that was kind of interesting, and I just wanted her to ask you about it. What's up? I'm just wondering what kind of awesome bank that you have that gives $50 bills out of the ATM. Oh, wow.

2:18:49Yeah, CC. What do you mean? Well, you said you went to the ATM this morning and got the money. Yeah. You said you pushed the money. They don't give out 50s. Nope. No. Liz, he just did it. She did it. She did it. She did it. You're out. You're a liar. You are a liar. You're a liar. Why am I? Call the GM. You're fired. Okay. You're fired. This is why you don't ask me to do things where you lie because I'm a bad liar. You did a great job. You did a great job. But then Lizzie caught it. That's true. That's so true. Lizzie. I was like, Bank of America. Check this out. Check this out because people aren't here. Sienna's face when she goes, what kind of awesome bank was that that you were able to get a 50 out of the ATM? Sienna's face was like, holy. I almost said, well, I went in. But then I said, oh, shoot. Yeah.

2:19:48Lizzie, that was awesome. I can't believe you guys didn't think of that. You know what's great? Women can get women better than anybody. I thought about it when I said if I was the person, I would go to the bank because I knew that ATMs didn't give out, they only give out 20s. Because I said that, I'm like, if I were the person that lied, I would go to the bank on my... on my lunch break to get the 50, but I didn't think about the fact that Sienna said ATM. Oh my gosh. Dang, you listen! Yeah, I know it, I know it, I know it. I had the 50! That was bulletproof! Yeah, it's bulletproof. She then is like, shut up, get out of my office. She would have probably been like, I don't know, my bank just gives 50. It's in La Jolla, you idiot. Why are you yelling? Can you get out of my office? This is ridiculous. I'm trying to work. I'm trying to work. All right, let's see. Do I have this ready to go? Probably not. All right, I do.

2:20:57We have another pair of sunglasses we can give away. We need anarchy or angel sunglasses. We got them. All right. Let's do this. And now our feature presentation. Time for your mystery movie clip of the week. Go easy on him. He's lost his son, Fabio. What movie was that? 570-1949. First person with the correct answer will win a pair of angel or anarchy sunglasses. And we're going to talk about something they've been complaining about here on the Mikey Show about me. And we'll see if anybody can relate. And if anybody's on my side, I hope. And we'll see. When are we going to film you doing the hair? Should I tape them right now? Yeah, there it is. I wish that we could get... I'm going to turn the mic off so that we can film Woods doing the hair to this.

2:23:48Oh, my goodness. I'm going to post it. Oh, yeah. It started a little slow. I was nervous. Oh, my gosh. It is so, so phenomenal. Oh, my gosh. Air hair. I got a buddy at home that's bald, and he hates hair metal. And I mean hates it. But when I would play it, he would do that bit. I would almost wreck my car every time. He'd get me so bad. I love it. You know what I love about hearing this music is I was a sophomore junior in high school when I was really into rat. And every time I hear it, I can smell fresh cut grass. I can smell summertime. And I know absolutely no responsibilities. Just girls with tan skin and coconut lotion. Me not kissing anybody, you know. Really great. Me too. I thought this was the pinnacle of music at that time. Yeah. I mean, I was like, that's the coolest band in the world, Rap. No question. Those guys slay off.

2:25:17And what was crazy about it is that those lyrics are so goofy. Like when you think about it, you know, now there's an emphasis on lyrics and, you know, we really pay attention to the lyrics. Big time. Those lyrics, I mean, back in the 80s, the lyrics could not have been goofier. Slip, slip, slip of the lip. I like the way you move your hips. I love that. Loose lips. Sink ships. The way you move, you don't miss. Wow. I remember I sang karaoke like a year ago. Def Leppard pour some sugar on me. There were so many words that I was just being like... I didn't know what the words were. I was like, whoa, that's what it says there? Yeah. It's such fun music. It really is. And it just takes me back, too, like Mike, to such a fun place in my life. And I'll jam it. Wiener time. That was the time I was referring to. Wiener time. That laugh. That laugh. That laugh. This is the creepiest. Yeah.

2:26:37Is it possible to have a southern accent on your laugh? He's done. Actually, my blog last night was about everybody's laugh. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah, if you guys read my blog. Take a look. I do. It's on MikeyShow.com. What do you think of our laughs? I described them and how great and how much I love all you guys. Is that what it is? Mm-hmm. All right, let me put it. I'm going to share this right now on our Facebook page. It's Woods doing air hair. It appears you have a pop-up blocker installed to make uploading videos easier in the future and avoid this screen. Add Facebook as an exception in your pop-up blocker preferences. That's great. We'll get it figured out. Yeah, it's apparently a couple of seconds I'll never get back. Let's see.

2:27:32Let's go to the phones. M1 Melissa from San Diego. I am going to play this one more time. And after I play it, I would like for you to give us the answer. But please wait until I play this one more time for you. Here we go. And now our feature presentation. Time for your mystery movie clip of the week. Go easy on him. He's lost his son, Fabio. And the answer is, Melissa? Finding Nemo. That is correct. Sienna nailed it. She did. I knew it immediately. She got it right, too. Yep, she got it right. Yay. Did she just go, Jay? Yeah, she just goes, Jay. I thought she said, yay. Yay. Oh, she said, yay. Yay for everybody. That's Jay in Spanish, to your defense. So you just won yourself some angel sunglasses. Thank you, thank you. You are very welcome.

2:28:45Let's see. Hang on the line. Okay. So I, in the morning when I come into work, I'm trying to eat healthier and I'm drinking a lot of water and everything. And one of the things that my trainer had told me, she said, you got to kickstart your system. Okay. So I wake up. First thing I do, eat a little something. And then when I come into work, I'm supposed to eat again and then eat again a few hours later. Well, she wants me to eat protein and so forth. And so I bring these hard boiled eggs. Now, I don't want to eat the hard-boiled eggs in the studio because, you know, Woods and L.O.B. and Sienna are in here in the studio. Granted, Jay is outside the studio, but he makes a similar smell anyway. That's true. So I know that he's used to it. It smells like carrots and throw-ups. All right, so I take my hard-boiled egg outside of the studio into the... Common room. Yeah. We're in Studio M, and Studio M is actually a suite. The Mikey Show has its own suite, and it's divided into three parts. The studio, my office, and the common area. Which is where Jay sits. Commoners. Yes. In the common zone. That's right. Commoners. It's where Jay is. And I go in there, and I have my little hard-boiled egg. Well, everybody whines.

2:30:01That they can still smell the hard-boiled egg. Well, we leave the door open in here in the morning. It sticks to Mike's clothes. And it sticks to your clothes. And when you walk in, we're like, here comes Stinks again with his egg. Stinks my goose. Stinks my goose. Now, I went through a phase when I was doing the egg, too. So I was like, give him a break, everybody. Once you guys leave Mike alone. Yeah, it doesn't smell that bad. It's stinky. What do you want me to do? Eat it at home. Eat it in your car. Eat it. Well, you won't eat it in your car because it stings. I think you can keep eating it, but we're just always going to make fun of you. Is that the deal? Yeah, that's the deal. Yeah, you're just going to have to take it. I can't keep doing it. Yeah, of course. We're not going to ban it. You're just going to be jerks about it, but I can keep doing it. Yeah, I mean, I'm not Himmler. I mean, I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't eat, you know. Are you? No. But we're going to give you grief. I'm not going to say it every time like some people will. You're just going to think it. No, I mean, I know that it stinks. 570-1949 if you work at a place where people eat stinky food. The good thing is, is that it's quick. You know, we smell it for just a second and then you're done for the day. But my friend works in an office and... I guess that means I can fart. No. But it's quick. No, it isn't quick. He's doing something for his health. You have to get that out, Sienna. You have to. It can be... Don't do that. You have other places to do that. But my friend sits in a cubicle and...

2:31:27In the cubicle exactly right next to hers. What? Oh, my gosh. The person who sits next to her eats corn nuts. Every day, she said. Because they have them in the vending machine. And for whatever reason, this chick just goes and gets bags of corn nuts. I don't think there's anything to worry about this. And listen to how loud they are. Woods is eating corn nuts right now. Because we also have them in our vending machine. Smells like feet. It's the noise that would drive me nuts, though. Listen, you can't eat it quietly. You can't eat them quietly. You know that noise? It doesn't bother me at all, that crunching. It bothers me batty. Why? Batty. Why? Because it's so loud. What are you so loud for? Just be a normal nut. Just be a normal nut. You mean the corn nut? Yeah. I think it's a kernel, technically. Just be a normal. Just be normal. But I just don't understand why that's so grating on people. It's just chewing and crunching. You know what gets me more than the loud crunching? At least that's obvious and I can expect it. I don't like to hear this.

2:32:29Because that's got spit on it. Yeah, hearing somebody eat next to me like that. That doesn't bother me. The burnt popcorn when people overcook popcorn in the office. Popcorn in an office should be bad. And Miguel made popcorn one day in here. Remember that when you made popcorn? It smells so good. It smells so bad. Popcorn in an office smells so bad. I love it when it's cooked properly and it's when it's burnt. It smells bad. I didn't burn it. I know. It still stinks. Popcorn stinks, man. It can smell like feet sometimes. Yep. Really? Yeah. M1, Sammy from Escondido. Morning, Mikey Show. Hi. Hey, just a quick mention. You were talking about the boiled eggs. Uh-huh. Do you ever eat boiled eggs with cumin? That'll kill the smell of eggs. Yeah, the problem with cumin is cumin tastes and smells like taco. I don't like that. I don't like that. Perfect. What do you do? You just put it in the boiling water? No, he's saying just put it on the egg. Sprinkle it on the egg. You still have to open up the egg, though. Yeah, he's saying bite into the egg and then sprinkle some cumin. I usually cut it in half. I sprinkle cumin on it with salt. Yeah, but then you're eating cumin. Yeah, now it smells like taco fart. Now it's taco fart. Wow. And cumin's actually good for your stomach, too. I don't like it. Yeah, eat it in the hallway. No. Why is it that some eggs don't smell at all? I'll tell you why. What do you do differently? Fresh. Yeah. You know, if you're...

2:33:54If you've boiled the eggs and you boil them at the beginning of the week and then you use them throughout the week, they're old. I've had fresh ones that smell, though. Really? Yeah. Yes, they all smell. You didn't stop. That doesn't bother you, huh? Woods is still eating corn nuts. It does only because we're a broadcast radio program. Are we? Whoever it does bothers in the car changing station. I would lose my mind. I would strangle somebody if they were eating corn nuts. You know what drives me nuts that my husband does all the time now? He'll have like a bowl of cereal or something, and he just scrapes the spoon against the side. Cling, cling, cling, cling. Just scoop it up. Just scoop it up. I hate the cling, cling, cling. My friend in Dallas, Bark Malman, that Mikey knows, eats like this. Oh, dude, it's made me so mad that I've had this. I've never noticed, by the way. Oh, bro. I would have. Oh, my God. What is it? We go eat pizza, and we'll be sitting in his house watching the game. We're sitting in his house watching the game, and he takes a slice of pizza and bites it and goes. Yeah.

2:34:54Oh, man. You see that, Blair? That dude is sick. That's why he's still single. Yeah. And I look at it. I've said before. I've gone, hey, dude. What are you, born in a barn? Close your freaking mouth. I never noticed. Oh, my God. I didn't notice when we had lunch together. Oh. That's because he had his hand on your knee and he was seducing you. Talked to Mark Bowman about L.O.B. last night. Oh, wow. He goes, hey, how's that sweet little angel? It's exactly what he said. Is that what he said? It's exactly what he said. Hey, next time you talk to her, tell her that Mark Bowman said hello. You got it. I still have you notice, man. M1 Shauna from O.B. Hi. Hi. Okay, so I work at an engagement ring store. and it's like a modified bank vault, so I work in the office area. So there are no windows, and one way in, one way out, and people love to bring in Indian food. Like after lunch, and you know there's not a lot of air circulation, so it just sits there. Oh, no, dude. It's awful. I worked at a radio station in San Jose with a Vietnamese woman that used to warm up her Tupperware of fish soup in the kitchen. Oh, no. Hey, baby. Oh, that's got to be one of the worst.

2:36:05One of the worst. If not the worst. If not the worst. And that Indian food, too, would be bad, Shauna. How about the mofo on the plane with the McDonald's? How about that guy? McDonald's smells good. McDonald's smells like butt. It smells so good. It tastes so good. It tastes so good. The smell, I get mad at my wife. I'm like, don't open the bag until we get home. It stinks. Really? What? It smells like heaven. When I smell those fries, I'm like, great. Now I want the fries. Thanks a lot. On a plane, it stinks. The guy was on a shuttle when we went to Denver to meet the birth mom. We were on the shuttle to the rental car place. Yeah, I think he'll stop and get some McDonald's and then get on the shuttle. I've been traveling all day. I've worked since 3 o'clock in the morning. I would have stabbed him if I had a knife. I was so mad. When it's fresh, it doesn't smell bad at all. It's McDonald's. How fresh is it? It's fresh when it comes right off the thing and it's in the bag and it's hot.

2:37:02You know when it stinks to me is if you, like, let's say you left a bag in your car. That's awful. I've done it. Okay, that's bad. But when you first get it, it smells delicious. I think two of the worst things people can eat either on a plane or in the office, because the smell of food sticks to you. And it's one thing if you smell obviously like food, but if people have, like... a hoagie or something with like onions in it, then you smell like B.O. Like people aren't like, you smell like onions. They're like, you smell like B.O. Or if you have, the curry will smell like that sometimes too. So it's like. People eating KFC or Popeye's chicken on a plane once. I wanted to snap their neck. What? That smells good to me. Me too. There's the guy who's dipping right next to you. It smells like coconut. Yeah, that's when I'm throwing a big dip in. Yeah, you do anyway. You do anyway. Oh yeah, that's right. I don't eat the egg anymore. You guys notice that? Why? Because I'm afraid you guys are going to judge me. I saw you throw your egg in the trash yesterday. What? Mike, eat your egg. It's good for you. I know why, because Woods still says something every morning. And look at Woods. He's giving me a look right now that's like, I don't want to eat my egg. They're going to make fun of me. I don't know why you bring food.

2:38:16Yeah, you throw it away after that anyway. Just eat your egg. You're fine. Rebecca's like, here's the deal. You bring me one, then we're quality. There's two in there. I won't make funny if I eat one. Yeah, you will. But then my snuff tastes like egg. You have to eat two, though. One is enough. And you told me what happened. Yeah. Don't. That wouldn't drive you nuts all day. You're working in your cube. We already did that. Can you stop doing it? I want to drive the point home. I just want to drive it home one more time. You're sitting in total silence. You're trying to type? You're typing. You lose your mind. You're like, hey! Shut up! They tried to be nuts! Sound don't bug me. Smell bug me. Both bug me. Oh, the smell. Speaking of, you guys should stop eating all your beef jerky in here. All of you. I love beef jerky so much. It smells so bad. It smells like a carcass. Open it up. Where is it? No, she's right.

2:39:22When you open it, it smells like a beef fart. And everybody wants it. It smells like a piece of beef. It smells like a chili rib. They're so good though. Somebody eating chili ribs in there. 10 o'clock, big announcement with Hillary. Did you guys hear about 31 businesses in OB got vandalized? Let's tell you what that's all about. We have a big announcement coming up at 10 o'clock with Hillary. Such a rube. Welcome to Interview with a Pleiadian. I'm Dierks. I'm Dierks von Strauss.

2:41:32Thank you for joining us here on KPBS. KPBS time, 0300 hours. That's 3 a.m., Dierks. Of course. I know that. As you know, here on Interview of the Plebeian, we interview top newsmakers. So joining me now is the cast of The Mikey Show. Hi, Dierks. Dierks. Hi, Dierks. Thanks for having us at 3 a.m. My program can be heard weekly, Saturday mornings from 0300 to 0315. 50 minutes. I would much rather be doing a better air shift, but because of cutbacks in staff, I volunteered to work at these hours. Of course you did.

2:42:48It's fine. It gives me time to go home, make an espresso, and work on my Macintosh. Give me my music. Let's begin our interview this morning with FM 94.9, the station that used to be all about the music. We still are. It was never all about the music. I haven't gotten to you yet, Lauren O'Brien. But first is Sienna Farrar. Farrar. So, Sienna, my notes tell me that you used to work at the dance radio station here in town. Is that right? Yeah, I was on Sienna 933 for a while. Right, so they play disco music? No, it's Top 40. Disco. No, it's actually... Justin Timberlake? Yeah. Disco. No, not actually at all. Right. Not disco.

2:43:50So tell me, what sort of disco records did you like the most? Britney Spears? Well, it was a disco. But the top 40 music that I like, Britney Spears, you know, whatever's out there. Rihanna, Eminem. Ever heard of the Can-Cans? The Can-Cans? Yeah, the Can-Cans. No, I haven't. They're a band from Cleveland that have actually been making a lot of buzz lately. But then, of course, you'd have to read Rolling Stone. Give me my music! Wow. Thank you, Sienna Farah. Farah. You're terrifying. Stephen Wood. It's Woods. You're the snuff dipper, is that right? Yeah, I dip snuff. Is that your job on the show, to dip the snuff? No, my job is to do sports and be dynamic. To do sports. Oh, I see. Yeah, sports. So you just talk about manly things, right? Yeah, the stuff that your dad wanted you to do. Football and hockey and all these sorts of things, right? The stuff why you got the big earrings and all this stuff. Your dad wanted you to play sports, but he didn't. So let me get this straight. You...

2:44:58Talk about men hitting men and that sort of thing. Is that what you're into? Absolutely. Absolutely. I love sports. Do you know Jagal Bacchella? I do not. You don't? No. That didn't think you did. What's the last book you read? I'm reading a book right now that my wife recommended. It's called The Confession. It's by John Grisham. Really? John Grisham. Have you finished up with the Pelican Brief yet? Yeah, I read the Pelican Brief. It was really good. I'm sure you did. Did you finish up the Client? Yeah, I read the Clients. So did I. In the second grade. I like to be entertained sometimes. I like finer things, but I also like John Grisham. Perhaps you read the works of Immanuel Kant sometimes. Wow. Maybe I will. Maybe you read David Hume. Okay. Okay. I will. I will. Oh, uh-oh. He's about to spit out. Music! While we interview. Why are you screaming at yourself? Because it's amplified. Joseph. Lauren O'Brien is a... O'Brien. O'Brien. Is a female comedian. Is that...

2:46:34Correct? Technically, yeah. That's the way you would say it. Oh, and Mikey, the right-wing Christian, found you on YouTubes. Is that correct? YouTube. Yep. Do you have a problem with that? Was he Googling you or looking at porno? From what I understand, he was looking at stand-up comics. So where do you perform? Yuck-yucks and, you know, wherever you've been. Comedy store. Comedy store here in town. You opened for Craig Gass one time, which is pretty big deal. So let me ask you, what do you talk about? Do you talk about farts? Do you talk about things? I don't talk about farts, no. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever heard Lenny Bruce? I haven't. Should I have? Should I? I'll take that as a yes. Louis Gaskin LLB. I guess so. A comedian that doesn't know Lenny Bruce. I guess so. Let me ask you a question. Very dramatic. Let me ask you a question. What's in your CD player right now? I don't have a CD player anymore. I just use an iPod. I have a CD player in my car, but I usually listen to talk radio on my way in the car. What about at home? What about at home?

2:48:03In the car? What do you listen to? Should I slow down? I'm speaking too quickly. At home, everything. I mean, anything. What do you listen to at home? I listen to... Ever tried vinyl? I have tried vinyl. I like vinyl. Do you know that the audio quality of vinyl is superior to anything else in the world? In your opinion. It's not a matter of opinion. It's a unique sound. I believe it's in ways better than the digital sound, but in ways... Have you ever heard of the band the Tan Junkets? I have, actually. Out of Portland? Yes, actually. Yes, they are. Tan Junkets are out of Portland. Well, finally, one person on the Mikey show that actually knows something. You know the Tan Junkets. I do. I don't necessarily care for their music, but I know who they are. Wonderful. Ladies and gentlemen, I finally found one person on the Mikey Show that's worth their weight in salt. One person out of all of you morons knows who the tan junkets are. We're not morons because of that. I mean, I don't think that that necessarily makes me worth my weight in salt. Which album did you like the most? Oh, drawing a blank here. Do you really know the tan junkets?

2:49:33Yeah, I read about them in Spin. You delight me. What album did you like the most? Oh, their sophomore effort. What was it called? You got me on this one. The Copenhagen Longcats? You just looked at that monster's tin tin and read what was written on it. Oh, gosh, I don't know, Dirk. You don't know. Dirk? Dirk. You don't know the 10 junkets, do you? No. Another episode of Freaking Pleban. My new favorite thing. That strange woman that had sex with Jesse James was asked what sex with Jesse James was like, and she answered. I don't know why you do it, Mike. I love you, though.

2:51:23Yeah, you know, when I'm on a fun high. Oh, great. Just make me cry. I love that song so much. Of course you do. Of course you do. It's got a melody. It's got a meaning behind it as well. Great. Of course you do. It's by a band that's recognizable. They sold more than nine records, did they not? Did they not? Oh, wow. Stop screaming at me. This is my normal voice. This is how I speak to my children. I feel very sorry for them. Are you aware of the glass shards from Williamsport? Of course I am. Of course, from Williamsport. The greatest band from Williamsport. That's right. Legends. Legends in Williamsport.

2:52:22Nine people a show. Oh, wow. Gary Van Dance could do better, but not bad. If you're a beginner. Could probably do that for four hours. I would like to have our own show on the weekend. We just do it in Mike's garage. Just do it like that. I wonder if somebody could teach me how to podcast. Yeah, of course. Because I have a really good mic now with the computer, and I don't know how to podcast. Something other than the Mikey show? Well, yeah. People are at home. There are people that don't have a radio station or a radio show, but they podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I don't know how you do it. Think we would do that bit for about four hours at your house on a Saturday? Yeah. I'm all the way in. Now, I have a question. Does anyone know the answer to this? Can you podcast on iTunes? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah.

2:53:23So I could have like my own podcast and I could be like, hey, everybody, check out my weekend podcast. It's called blah, blah, blah. And just search for it on iTunes. I'm pretty sure. I search podcasts for like how to learn how to play piano, stuff about stand up comedy. Chris, do you know how to do it? Kind of? You can show me how. He's nodding yes. He's nodding yes. You can show me how to do a podcast. Lauren does it for our show. Our podcast. It's different. I know, but it's different, Jay, because what she does is put something on our website, and I'm talking about doing something that would be available to any human being on iTunes. Well, ours are available on iTunes. Yeah, ours are on iTunes. Right, but he's talking about Jay like he goes, hey, Woodsy, come over. Yeah. Let's do a live podcast. It's basically the same thing. You need to have a website and something that you have to do with iTunes. Those steps in between, I don't know. I heard that M1s or P1s, they used to do one. Danny used to do one. Yeah. Well, he can show us. He can show us, right? He can do it with us. I don't want to do it. I just would like to talk to him on the air a little bit. Sure you do. You do. You know. And you said you want to do it. No, I don't want to do it with him. Do it with him. You guys will do that for two weeks and then be like, ugh, this is tiring. No, I don't want to come over. No, see, I've wanted to do it as a side.

2:54:40like a solo project. Yeah. Oh, my bad. Sorry. I didn't mean to horn in. Well, you know what I want to do is, you know, my theology stuff. You could record it whenever you feel like it and then upload it for broadcast. It didn't have to be live. Can you tell how many people listen to it so that you don't have to do it if only four people are doing it? I think you can see how many subscribers you have. You have to subscribe. Oh, really? You don't have to subscribe to listen to something. Oh, you can download individuals. Oh, you can't? You don't have to subscribe? I've subscribed to a few. You can see how many subscribers you have. If someone subscribes to it, then every time they start their iTunes, it'll give them the freshie. You know what else I think is cool? When you go onto YouTube and you see people that have like a bunch of people watch their channel. Yeah, subscribers. That's really cool to me. I want to find a way to do songs at home and just sing covers and put them on YouTube. You don't have to find a way. It's really easy. I don't know how to do it. Just upload it. Through what? I don't have a camera. Chris just looked at you. I don't have a camera. I don't have a camera. Do you have one on your computer? No, not a video camera. You don't? Oh, this one. Chris just looked at you like you were a rainbow-colored zebra. He is. I'm not a techie guy. I mean, I read John Grisham, okay? I'm not a techie guy. M1 Frankie from San Diego. What was the word of the day? William Sport.

2:55:58That's where my husband was from. Happy birthday, babe. Hey, happy birthday, pal. You just won tickets to see Rush, and you also won... Yes! Salesman! Salesman! Anarchy Sunglasses. Right on, brother. First time, I don't call in a whole lot, guys, but I just want to say I love the show. Me and my wife listen all the time. We just had a baby back in October. Congratulations. Maybe you call in more. Oh, I will for sure. Congratulations, you two on Conor, man. Thank you, dude. Can't wait. Hang on, bro. Hang on. All right. Hang on. All right. I got to give you this. This was yesterday. Someone named Wendy Williams has a TV show. Yes. And talked to Michelle Bombshell McGee. So you made out and you had sex? Oh, wow. Yes. She's talking about. Michelle Bombshell McGee, the girl that had the affair with Jessie James. From San Diego. Classy. She's from San Diego? Yeah. With a K. Oh, yeah. And Jessie James was married at the time to Sandra Bullock. Yeah. We smashed. Yeah. Oh, please. There's applause, by the way. Yes! Yes!

2:57:21You're in the family. You're in the family. They had just adopted a kid. Congratulations. Amazing. You're incredible. Seriously. Was it good? It was average. Oh. Oh. Oh. It was average adultery. It wasn't even really worth it. It wasn't worth it. That's what you're saying. That's a family. That wasn't even that great. But we kept doing it. Yeah. I said, take that, Sandra. You didn't do anything. How do you like being a single mom? Wow. It's creepy. It's me. That's so weird. Yeah. It's creepy. It's weird. Fine culture we have these days. Oh, yeah. So what was the deal in OB? 31 businesses? Yeah. Okay. No, this is on Newport Avenue on Tuesday night. I guess it was Wednesday morning between midnight and 5 a.m. Yeah. No, Tuesday. I'm sorry. Midnight to 5 a.m. So late night Tuesday. Oh, wow. That would have been this morning. Late night Monday. Monday night early Tuesday. I thought you said Spider. I thought you said I was all right, Spider. I thought you said I was all right, Spider. So late at night on Monday, early morning Tuesday between midnight and 5 a.m. Some.

2:58:42hooligans went along newport avenue and and scratched in 31 businesses windows um yeah with like a knife or some sharp objects and just put in all this gibberish and letters and just destroyed these offices like um i just like um i was like um i was like um like um i was like um speaking of gibberish um like um So it's going to cost tens of thousands of dollars to repair. I hope that definitely turns out to be my son that does stuff like that. Oh, gosh. Don't even say it. You should have street cameras up. Oh, great. Now I've been watching over your shoulders. Invading my privacy. I mean, on the businesses, right? Yeah, they should. I agree with you. Speaking of culture, this is a good example of culture. What about ain't no thing but a chicken wang? I'm dying to hear this. Ain't no thing but a chicken wang. I used to say that in like 2000. Oh yeah, me too. It's a Spencer Pratt song. Oh no.

3:00:13Leave for a minute, count the bread, and I'm back. Go against the grain, count the eggs for the hatch. I gotta live in the same world. You guys don't like that? You better not. I'm joking. It was disgusting. Oh, no. I mean, I burned it, and I'm gonna lose it. I don't like it, though. Is there when he's recording that, like this big black dude, and he's like running the board, and he's like, oh, yeah, get it, get it. The guy running the board was definitely white to think that that production was good. Let's do it again, dawg. What's up, man? I thought I nailed that track. Let's try it one more time, dawg. I thought I nailed it. Dawg, you always got to get a few down, man. Yo, dude, they said I'm the new Drake. You are, man. But you can't just lay down one tracks. I'm done. One and done. That's my nickname. That ain't it. That ain't it, dawg. I got to get two, three more out of you. All right. Let's roll it. Hit it. Spin it.

3:01:27Cut. Sorry, man. I ain't feeling it. Yo, man, you the only one. No, man, you gotta... You gotta pronunciate better on chicken wing next time. Man, what you know about pronunciate? Got money in the media change. So we got some more money. Crazy. The range runs in my veins. Money, anything, nothing, but a chicken wing. Call me Mr. KFC. Stop. He in the flesh. They forgot about Drake. They say I'm the effing best. Leave for a minute. Count the bread and I'm back. Go against the grain. Break. That's it, dog. We got it, man. We got it? Lay it down. That's it. All right.

3:02:25I kind of feel like Spencer Pratt and his wife, whatever it is, his wife. Heidi. I think they're divorced. No, they're back to you. I think they are an invention of, like, somebody brilliant. They invented these characters, and in, like, a year, it's going to turn out that the whole world was being punked. Yeah. And that they're, like, PhDs, brilliant actors, and they're just playing these caricatures because they're so... It couldn't be real, could it? It turns out Spencer Pratt, he's British, and James Lipton is like, we're being joined now by James Carruthers, who played the role of Spencer Pratt. Yes, dude. Yes, in the first year that we did the show, I was concerned that perhaps people wouldn't believe, and then I put out a thing but a chicken wing, and I thought... Yeah, there's no way. Oh, my God. But then with the success of the show, it just kept going on and on. I couldn't turn back. I couldn't turn back. I couldn't turn back. What ended you and Heidi's run? I would say definitely prescription medication. We got to the point where each of us were taking real prescription medication. We did it on camera, but then it became a real thing and eventually took over. And so that's what brought the end.

3:03:51to the hills and to the entire facade that we've created. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I still, to this day, I don't know what Spencer Pratt looks like. Oh, Lucky? I don't know what he looks like. His hair is the same color as his skin. He looks like Justin Timberlake when he was the NSYNC days, the curly kind of. Really? Short curls. Full of himself. He looks like that guy that was just a big a-hole in high school. Oh, yeah. Does he? Yeah. That guy? Yeah, I like that guy. Totally. A lot of money. I was so nervous around that guy. I used to get so nervous around that guy. That guy used to... That guy used to be real cool, but he would have snuff and he would do this with it. No, it's not you, but he would do this with a snuff. Yeah. Made me nervous. Or you could do this. Yes. All right, we have a big announcement to make. We do. We have a big, big announcement to make. Now, FM 94.9 Insiders, they got a sneak peek yesterday. But just a sneak peek. Just a little taste. But Hillary.

3:05:00Tell everybody what's going on. Well, I hope that this was not one of the businesses that was vandalized on Monday night, Tuesday morning. Yeah. When Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys have a solo record, he came by one day and we set it up with him that he would show up at Ho Dad's in OB and do a little acoustic set. And it was. Rad. It was so fun. Yeah. Well, we're doing it again. Cage the Elephant have a brand new record out. Thank you. Happy birthday. Wow. And today, 4 o'clock, Ho Dads and Obie, right there on Newport. It's at 5010 Newport Avenue. Cage the Elephant are going to set up. There's going to be four of them. I don't think their drummer is going to set up, but they're going to do an acoustic set. for free. How wild is that? You can get a great burger. So no tickets. No tickets. You just show up. That's cool. Think about it though. Ho Dad's is little. It's tiny. It's tiny. It's tiny. So, um, it's...

3:06:05First come, first served. Get there early and hang out. It's going to be crazy crowded, but that's super cool. We love Cage Elephant. And they played our seventh anniversary bash. Yeah. And like blue minds. They're real good. They're great. Cage Elephant's a good band and a free show. Right. You think there's going to be crowds? Yeah. It's going to be awesome. I'll play something from them too. I'll play a few things from today as well. I guarantee you. People will begin waiting now. Oh, yeah. They're on their way. Don't you think? I've had people texting me over the past, since the insider email went out, some of my friends like, Hill, come on. If you can, let me know where it is. I'm wondering at this point if Cage the Elephant's going to be able to be there. Like if they're going to get a seat in there. They're like, we want to go. They're like, we want to go, but we can't get inside. We can't get in there. Can't even get down the street. Awesome. So there you go. There is the big announcement, and it's pretty cool, and it's happening today. So lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We will see you again tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock, and the Mikey Show is out. Late.