The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 01/30/12
Monday, January 30, 2012
ham radiotom brady press conferencekyle stanley golf heartbreaklob burlesque auditiondennis washington yachtnicolas cage lmfaojay wiener joketermite finder gun storyvons just for youovation cell therapydoomsday preppersmiley cyrus cake
The episode opened with Mikey joking about ham radio being as serious as heroin, then segued into a confused interview where reporter Jenny Brentis asked Tom Brady about projecting confidence at a pep rally. Later, the hosts recapped Kyle Stanley’s agonizing loss at the Farmers Invitational after he missed a double bogey, and L.O.B. described her burlesque audition for the House of Blues show. Other highlights included a description of Dennis Washington’s lavish yacht, Nicolas Cage’s rendition of LMFAO’s 'Sexy and I Know It', the running gag that Jay’s wiener plumps when cooked, and a harrowing caller story about a .38 misfire during a tire‑slashing incident.
What happened, in order
Ham Radio Heroin Analogy
Mikey compares getting into ham radio to progressing from smoking pot to heroin, riffing on honey‑baked, smoked, and minced ham radio.
Tom Brady Pep Rally Confusion
Reporter Jenny Brentis asks Tom Brady if he was trying to project confidence at a pep rally, leading to an awkward exchange about what a pep rally actually is.
L.O.B.'s House of Blues Audition
L.O.B. describes auditioning for a burlesque dance show at the House of Blues, noting the high caliber of dancers and her own nerves about performing.
Kyle Stanley's Heartbreaking Double Bogey
Kyle Stanley needs a double bogey to win $1 million at the Farmers Invitational but scores an eight, loses in a playoff to Brant Snedeker after an epic collapse.
Dennis Washington's Luxury Yacht
The hosts discuss mining tycoon Dennis Washington’s 332‑foot yacht, which features a theater, spa, and Dale Chihuly artwork, currently docked in San Diego Harbor.
Nicolas Cage LMFAO Lyrics
Nicolas Cage recites the lyrics to LMFAO’s 'Sexy and I Know It' on a UK radio show, prompting the hosts to call his voice creepy and weird.
Termite Finder's Gun Misfire Story
A caller recounts how a 15‑year‑old Crip member pointed a .38 at his head during a tire‑slashing incident, the gun misfired, and the shooter later received an eight‑year sentence.
Jay's Wiener Plumps When Cooked
The hosts insist that Jay’s wiener plumps when cooked, turning it into a running gag and even a mock contractual statement for future episodes.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayMeganDadMomJordanAdrianScoobyGonzoHeath BellBrandon MarshallLarry Fitzgerald
33,602 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's not going to be as warm as it's been, but we can still do this. Regardless of the weather, we will come on the radio and try to entertain. But yeah, we don't work outdoors, so we're good. Doesn't really affect us. Yeah, fortunately, can you imagine if we had to close shop for the day because it was raining? And we say, guys, sorry. We're not going to be able to come on the air today. We could cover everything with banana leaves, but... We don't want to do that. Yeah, I'm not going to sit here with an umbrella. We'd rather just end it with an umbrella, and we're just sorry. We're taking the day off. No, we're not. We're here, and we're ready to go. 570-1949 is our number. It's The Mikey Show, broadcasting live, tall atop a building in downtown Mission Valley, California, and reaching you by way of frequency modulation 94.9. If you want to call us, it's 570. 1-94-9. Ham radio is something that I always wanted to get into, but to me it was like progressing to heroin. I used to do CBs when I was a teenager, but to go to ham radio would be like going from smoking pot to doing heroin. I thought, man, that's too serious. If I get involved with ham radio, I've gone from nerd to super nerd. What's ham radio? What the hell is ham radio? You've never heard of ham radio? Really? No.
Ham radio is something that private citizens can operate and own in their home. And it is a way of broadcasting with a microphone like a CB, only instead of being heard locally, you could be heard all across the world with a ham radio. Where might I purchase a ham radio? Well, since I never got into heroin, ham radio. Right. I can't tell you where to buy it. I suppose you'd have to go on the internet and research how to buy it. Back in the day, I would have been able to know. I knew. Yeah. But that was back in the day. I don't do that kind of thing anymore. I'm very into honey-baked ham radio myself. Honey-baked ham radio? If I'm going to do it, I do it right. Smoked ham. Smoked ham radio is delicious. Even more fattening. Minced ham radio, ham salad radio. Yeah, Swiss and ham radio.
You're a freak then. You just get into weird stuff. Weird stuff. Doesn't sound nerdy, though. That's why I didn't go there. I mean, I was nerdy enough. Being on the CB. I was nerdy enough being on the CB telling jokes. Oh, yes. This is Handel. Yeah. This is Mike from the basement. Hello. Are you out there? Anybody got me in Norway? And konnichiwa. Oh, this is Mike coming to you from Terrestrial Signal. 7.2. Frequency 8.91. It's a wonder. It's really a wonder that you didn't make love to any girls in high school. You're not one to exclude extraterrestrials. It's really scary. Yeah, you should be listening on Unit 429. If you're listening to Mars, greetings.
And if you're in the 429 system, 99 you. That's a little... Sorry, that is some... Ham radio joke. Ham radio joke. Megan! Are you in the basement again? Leave me alone, Dad. It's time for dinner! It's always time for dinner, you know that. Is he down there with his socks and the Playboys again? Megan! Hey, Dad? Me again! Dad, tell Mom that even though it's 5.30 in the morning, she can't get away with socks and playboy. I know what she meant. Dad. Dad. Tell Mom that that joke doesn't fly regardless of what. I really thought I was going to slip by. You did it, Mom. You didn't slip by me. Dinner's ready. I got the dinner part. Yeah, you did. The other part was real out there. Oh, that mom. She's something else, isn't she? As long as you say it in somebody else's voice, it's okay. Those are the rules that have been established. I'll make the rules. I'll just play by them. That's right. Just play by them. M1 Jordan is calling in from El Cajon. Hello, Jordan.
Hey, guys. Good morning. Good morning. I love it when you guys do the bits of just the crazy voices any time during the day. Yes. Even getting off a 10-hour shift, going home right now. You've been working for 10 hours? Yes, sir. It's even funnier, actually. What do you do for a living? I do traffic management for the state of California. Traffic management? What does that mean? You know, we like to activate the signs on the freeway. Oh, really? Yeah, the cool little traffic cameras, we do that, too. Oh, wow. Man. But, you know, it's a long night working, sitting at a desk. Especially if there's not a lot going on. Yeah, exactly. It was a pretty slow night. Luckily, no one crashes that often. But every once in a while, it's crazy. Is there more than one person manning that desk? Yeah, there's two people. Two people? Your partner? Yeah. Yes, sir. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, if I have to, like, use the bathroom or make an emergency call call or, you know. You guys sitting right next to each other? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's someone to talk to. Well, you better like each other, I'll tell you that. What if you hated them? Gosh. Oh, man. Yeah.
Wouldn't it suck if you just couldn't stand the guy? You had to work with him every single day? And that's how you pass the time. It's like being on a stranded island with somebody you don't like. So it's kind of like Woods and Jay. I was waiting for Jay to say, I know the feeling. I know the feeling. I love that guy. Been there, done that. Been there, work with that. Thank you for the call. Oh, I love you guys. Love you, pal. Love you back. Dad? Me good. Your dad? Hello. Can you ask mom to leave the house if she's going to just be making weird jokes like that? Talk to your mother like that. What are you doing down there? Again. Careful, mom. Again? Careful. All right? Okay. Again, your body is not an amusement park. It's a temple. It's your temple. It's not an amusement park, okay?
Dad, I never said, quote, my body's an amusement park. Your body is a wonderland. Not only has it not been invented, Dad, but why would you be quoting John Mayer? Because, Mike, you take care of yourself. Your body is a wonderland. Again, Dad, why would you be quoting John Mayer? Touch my body. Hold me on the bed. Now you're quoting Mariah Carey? Dad, sometimes you got it, sometimes you don't. This is true. It's early. It's way early. Stretch it out, Dad. Stretch it out. That's what you said. That's what you have to do. Go for the cheap one, huh, Dad? Sometimes you put it on the tee. And you think I'm sexy. Oh, boy. Hey, remember how Demi Moore was supposed to play Gloria Steinem in that Linda Lovelace? Yes. Biopic.
Well, she's not gonna anymore. Guess who they replaced her with? Gloria Steinem. No. Sarah Jessica Parker. How does that make sense? She doesn't look anything like Gloria Steinem. She doesn't look anything like Demi Moore. She doesn't look anything like a woman. Demi Moore, I think you could put makeup on and make her look like Gloria Steinem. Yeah, but I'm saying Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't look anything like Demi Moore. It's two total ends of the spectrum. It's true. It's like we lost Tom Cruise, but we're going to get Louie Anderson. But you have that mean looking face, though, both of them. Yeah, well. Did she get that thing gnawed off her chin yet? Yeah, a while back. She did? A long time ago. It's about time. She should have played War Horse. Wow. Much better. Much better. Strong thing to say. So tough. Or Secretariat. Yeah. Oh, that'd be perfect. They had actual horses. It wouldn't make sense for a woman to play a horse. Maybe on Broadway. Boy. Gosh, man. It's just so mean. Anyway, it was rumored that Mary Louise Parker would be taking over the role, but apparently that gave them the idea that Jessica, Sarah Jessica Parker could play the role. Just someone with three names is what they wanted. That's right. FYI, Mary Louise Parker is, in fact, the fartiest woman ever to walk the face.
Of God's green earth. Without question. Yes. Actual audio. Yeah. That's a true statement. Hey, by the way, the number one movie over the weekend was that movie with Liam Neeson. The Grey. Racked in 20 million bucks. Wow. Yeah. People like wolves, I guess. It's a little surviving and stuff. And beating up wolves is cool. Beating up wolves with your bare hands. It's kind of cool. It's not cool in reality. Yeah. Hell yeah, it is. PETA would get you for that, pal. Kicking a wolf's ass? PETA's going to get me for that. Really? They're going to get me for beating up a wolf? I mean, beating up a bear? You can't say beating up wolves is cool. So beating up a bear. Well, it depends on the bear. If a grizzly bear comes after you, yes, it's fair. But a panda bear is cute, so you can't say you're going to be... Koala bear, no dice. No dice. Koala bear, cute. Koala's not really a bear. It's a marsupial. Yeah. But... Well, totally. And beating up mammals is okay. Beating up marsupials, not okay. Yeah. Beating up a kangaroo is a marsupial, so you can't do it because they're cute. Cannots. Can't beat on a dolphin, though, either. What's a dolphin? Yeah, what is a dolphin? It's like a dolphin, but without an L. Yeah. You know? And two Fs. Yeah, two Fs. A dolphin. I got two Fs for you.
20 million bucks, The Grey. I'd love to see it. Yeah. I heard mixed reviews, but then again, I always hear mixed reviews. He ties knives to his hands, and he goes after freaking wolves. That's awesome. Pretty cool. Unbelievable. Hey, listen, Independence Day wasn't a documentary, but that made a lot of money. People like to be entertained. I just want to be entertained watching him kick wolves' butt. Yeah, because I think in reality, wolves won't come after you. B.S. They're hungry. If they're hungry and you're alone. They're hungry, you're alone. That equals food. They'll circle you real good. Yeah, they'll wait for you. I think you've seen too many shows. By shows, you mean movies. Movie shows. Jay, Evan said movie shows since the mid to late 20s. I remember it, though, just like it was yesterday. It makes me weak. Mid to late 20s. It makes me weak. Movie show. That's a good show. I like that one. What, Seinfeld? No, no. That movie, you're just talking. Great. Great. That's good. Great. Underworld Awakening was in second place with 12.5 mil. That was a good show, too. And one for the money was the third-ranked show, 11.8 mil. Third-ranked show. 11.8 million dollars. That's a lot of money. Yeah. Third-ranked show. I went and saw Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Did? Are you kidding me? Yeah, I went and saw it. Did you really? Mm-hmm.
Was it good? It was... Kim thought it was slow. I thought it moved a little slow. It looks like the most boring film in the world. It was well put together. It was amazing. It takes you back in time. I liked it. Gary Oldman. Oh, okay. Gary Oldman. Is it a cartoon? No, but it sounds... Tinker Toys and the Taylor 2 stage? No, that's what Jasper thought. Jasper was telling me what he thought it was about. He thought it was about Tinker... A guy who makes Tinker Toys. Right. And his buddy is a soldier spy. Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy? Yeah. Tinkers. Yeah, there's no way in the world I'd go see it. There are code names for the people in the movie. And I love Gary Oldman. Me too. But it looked boring. I liked it. Man, if you blink, you lose your place. You're like, it's... I hate those movies. Forget it. Hate those movies. Listen, I consider myself a bright person, but when it comes to movies, I can't follow. Yeah. I cannot follow. I need a simple story. No, there's no simple story in this. The good thing about it, we went to the Sinopolis. Oh, my gosh. Have you been to that theater? It's great. Oh, my gosh. Why the Sinopolis? Why, thank you, Sinopolis, for... Why, they provide wonderful beverages in all different shapes and sizes. For instance, they make the greatest Grey Goose vodka lemonade that you ever could have. No, I didn't.
Two drinks and a thing of Milk Duds. $35. Well, that's a place with the leather seats, the leather recliners. It's nice. Is it worth it? Heck yeah. I will sneak in my own beverages next time. That's what I do. Yeah, I'm going to sneak in my own beverages. I don't sneak in my own beverages, but I do sneak things in. Candy? And it's not sneaking in. They'll let you. They're on your person. Yeah, I'm not going to tell them. You don't tell them. You don't make a big deal out of it, but I, you know. I've become old enough now that I can be a dork and I don't care. Yeah. I'm going to bring a box of wine when I go. Yeah. A box. Are you needy on ice? I just need a wine glass. I just need a glass. A cup with ice. A wine glass with ice. I don't mind. It's fine. And just a little spritz of soda water. What's the weirdest thing you ever snuck into a movie? Anything crazy? A 40. You did? That is our girl. In college. Of 40 outs. And then it rolled all the way down. That's always the routine. You can actually kick it. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Of 40 of O-E, Old English. Look at you, you thug. You're just a thug. I took a foot-long Subway sandwich into a movie once, which was pretty badass. Watching a movie eating a sub. Yeah. It's legit. That's pretty awesome. It is awesome. M1 Scooby's on the line from Rancho Bernardo. Are you there, Scoob? Hey, what's going on? What's up, dude?
Hey, I was going to say something funny, but I'm not going to now. That's funny in itself. You were going to comment on the ham radio thing. Yeah, I had some ham radio for Thanksgiving. It was pretty cool. Yeah, it's delicious, isn't it? I thought it was more popular on Easter, Scooby. You know, whatever. Like a scoop of mashed potatoes? Yeah. Oh, fine. I went to that Superfest thing this weekend. How was it, man? It was pretty badass. That's awesome. Did you meet any celebrities? Yeah, you know, me and Gonzo, we're cool now. There you go. There you go. Right on. I took a picture with Gonzo and Heath Bell. There you go. Cool. Tell Gonzo to get it, all right? Yeah, you tell him that from your boy. Thanks, Scooby. I got so much stuff, though, for wearing my Dodgers t-shirt. Oh, yeah. You did. Don't do that there. There's a lot of Padres there. I think he can hold his own. Yeah, Scooby's fine. He's fine. He can hold his own. All right, then. Thanks. M1 Adrian from Oceanside. Hi. Hey, Mikey, what's going on? Not too much. Hey, I just wanted to say what's up to my boy, Jay. What's happening? Hey, Jay, hey. You know, you're talking about movies, right? You always call them shows, right? Yep. When you get on the computer, what do you look up? Showtime. Showtime. Hide your faces. It means what time is it showing that night? Yeah, showtime. What time is it showing? What time is it showing at night? It's a showtime.
Yeah, we're old school. Why is it called the movie theater? It's not the show theater. Yeah, it's not the show theater. It's not the show theater. It's the picture show. It's the show time. I bet you could still Google theater times and come up with the same thing. But he is right. It is show time. Yeah, it's what time they're showing. Showing. Yes. It means there's three showings that night of that movie. That's true. Thank you. It's a big show. Hey, listen, it was a good argument, though. Yeah, I like it. Thank you. It didn't hold a lot of water. Yeah, it held some serious water. Yeah, see? Yeah, see? Serious water, yeah. We're going to go see the picture tonight, and it's not going to have any wards in it. Pataki. I still haven't seen the artist. I knew you wouldn't. And I knew you wouldn't. It wasn't playing in the hotel. I'll get you with something. The guy that made the movie said it's a love letter to Hollywood. Is it? Yep. It's cool. Doesn't that make you even more mad? That it's a love letter to Hollywood? Yes. Why? Because it's like so... artsy and eclectic. It's like a time in history. It's showing you what was going on with it. It's a silent movie. Is there anything else that needs to be said? No, and the reason that that makes it cool to me is because I wasn't around during the time of silent movies. Thank God. Well, but hang on. Follow my logic here. Because it's 2012, they know they gotta do something to make it interesting to me. Otherwise...
I'll be like, oh, it's not only is it silent, it's stupid and boring and dumb. So on top of it, and I bet it's nominated for Best Picture. You know what I wasn't around for? Which means that they must have made it interesting. You know what I wasn't around for? The bubonic plague. But I don't want to go back and see what that was all about, too. I do. See, if they make a movie about the bubonic plague, if they make a movie about the bubonic plague, I'm all in. So you just convinced me. That would be interesting. You could go to the library and go to the microfiche. Yes. And you could look at an actual silent film from that era. I'll do one for you. You ready? But you're not doing anything. Now, I want to know what you're not seeing. Exactly. But in the silent movies, there was a plot. Exactly. And a style. And a style. The way they did everything and the way they, you know. That's what torture is. That's torture. They use that at Gitmo. You didn't know it, but they show that at Gitmo. I guarantee you, I guarantee you that the makers of the film took into account that it was silent and went, well, we got to do something here to capture an audience. There better be a lot of boobs then. And I'm sure they captured the audience. I'm sure it's interesting. People are just watching it and nominating it because they want to be like, yeah, I'm smart enough to get this. 150% before you condemn something that you've never even seen. 150%.
Waste of time. Didn't you find it brilliant? Because I did. I absolutely did. I got it. It's not stupid at all to have a silent movie in 2012. Did you understand the symbolism? Of course I did. I understood the symbolism. All right. Am I an idiot? Listen, if that movie did something where they were trying to show like a, well, it's a metaphor for that, I'd come in and go, oh, boy, it's the art. Because I've seen films that I think are artsy, and I go, this is stupid. Stupid. It's a love letter. That's the metaphor. Well, I got to see it. I really want to. Then The Descendants, I don't want to see because it looks too sad. It is sad. But it's good, though. It is really good. Nominated for Best Picture, I'm sure it's good. Listen, movies nominated for Best Picture are good. They're never stupid. They're never boring. And I know that that Descendants is good. I just don't want to see a sad movie. What about The English Patient? I'm sure it's good. I'm sure there's something redeeming about it. None of us have seen it. Right. So I can't say it's a turd. I've never seen it. You know what I'd like to see that was the best picture from years and years ago is the movie about Mozart. Amadeus. Amadeus? I've never seen it. I never saw it either. I've never saw Chariots of Fire. I've never seen a lot of these. Chariots of Fire was great. It's probably good. It's probably good. They're probably not stupid. I wonder if it holds up. Chariots of Fire, it looked a little grainy back then.
If it was a Best Picture winner, it holds up. Okay. There's no doubt. That's why they're nominated. They're Best Pictures because they are so good. This is probably the worst year in the last 10 for Best Pictures. You think? I think so. Because I looked on Wikipedia and I looked at them and I went, gosh, great, great, great, great, great. And then this year I was like, eh. Yeah. The movie experience is something that I really like. If I could have been anything. Other than this, I'd be a movie director. So I like going and sitting in that chair and going, all right, what do you got? What did you do? What did you do? And take me somewhere else. Now, a lot of times they don't. And where they take me is stupid. I hated Independence Day. I thought it was a stupid movie. And people went. And my brother goes, how did you think it was dumb? And I said, because it was so cheesy. And he goes. it's not supposed to be real, dummy. There's aliens. And I go, well, wait a minute. How come Close Encounters of the Third Time does aliens, but it isn't stupid? They didn't do it stupid. They did it cool. Close Encounters of the Third Kind did aliens, and they did them cool. Why did they, you know, I'm sorry, but you lose me when Jeff Goldblum is inside of a spacecraft downloading a virus onto it with a Mac. Right.
I just don't think that you can plug your Mac into a spaceship. You need an adapter. They're pretty handy. You need an adapter. Yeah, 45 more dollars. Macs don't even get viruses. That's true. You lost me at Jeff Goldblum, my friend. Thank you. And the talking aliens, it's like, I got you, buddy. I agree. L.O.B. is going to be dancing at the House of Blues. That's right, my friend. How many ladies with you? On the stage is Undecided somewhere between 8 and 10. It's up to the choreographer. There's plenty of room. It's a big old stage at the House of Blues. So there will be somewhere between 8 and 10 ladies dancing with you. And I want to hear all about how the auditions went at House of Blues. So L.O.B. is going to be telling us just after 6 o'clock how it went, the breakdown, who was there. Was there three people? Was there... A hundred people. How many women showed up for the auditions? I got a bonus. Jay played that clip there. Just so people know, Jay played that clip. I did not play that clip. It wasn't you? I did not play that clip. And I need to let folks know. Yeah. Lest they think that that's my style. Right. It's not. The Pro Bowl was yesterday. And the biggest tank.
on a golf course may have happened at the Farmers. And Woods will tell you all about that. I mean, just a heartbreaker. Tell you more about the weather and how it's not here to stay. Perfect. It was just visiting. All that stuff that you've been enjoying the last couple of days, it was just visiting. Had to leave. So it came in, it said, hey, it's good to see you. And you were like, oh my gosh, it's good to see you. You and the nice weather had a big hug. And then it went, oh, my gosh. It looked at its watch and said, I'm so sorry. And you were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. And it went, no, no, I have to go. I have to go. I'll be back, though. I'll be back in a few months. And you said, can you say, why don't you call to whoever you're going to and stay one extra day? And it said, I'm sorry, I can't. And then it just. Sped right on out of town. And we'll tell you about all of that. More from the Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexier. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pants. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Have you heard?
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Let an Allstate agent help make your life easier by bundling your policies. Find an agent near you at Allstate.com today. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company and Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and their affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. GIF. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from there. On FM 94.9. 5701949. Call us, say good morning. Our phone number is... 570-1949. And we love to talk to you first thing in the morning. And you can do that. And you can also text 949mikey at gmail.com. A lot going on. A lot. We're going to talk about the Farmers Open and the heartbreak that happened on the 18th yesterday. We're going to be talking about that giant yacht that's parked out in our harbor. The warm weather.
And what happened 26 years ago today? What the hell is up with that printer? I hit for that thing to go, and it's not printing. Let me set it to another one. Let's try this guy. See if that will work for me. So this cracked me up yesterday. Tom Brady and all the players from the Patriots and the Giants, they're all rolling into Indy right now. Right. Yesterday they had this press conference and they had an opportunity to talk to Tom Brady, all the big stars of the Patriots yesterday. And imagine that it's your turn up to the microphone. You're a young woman and maybe this is your first opportunity to get to ask the big question to somebody like Tom Brady. Right. And you get up there and all you want to ask him about was what were you trying to impart?
to the fans, and to the team this morning. Because before you got on the plane to leave New England, you had this big pep rally and everything, and you were trying to impart something. This nervous young woman steps up to the podium yesterday and asks this to Tom Brady. Jenny Brentis, the Star Ledger. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there will be even more fans at the party next week. Just were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England? Well, it was a pep rally. People were pretty excited. Maybe you don't know what pep rally is. Pep rally is where you fire everybody up. It's where you fire everybody up. Jenny Brentis, the Star Ledger. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there will be even more fans at the party next week. Just were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England? Well, it was a pep rally. I'm not really sure how else to describe a pep rally. Oh, man. See, the idea of a pep rally is you pep. It's in the name. It's in the name there.
Thank you, Mr. Brady. Look, in her defense, I have been into a press conference with Norvis Turner and was sweating so profusely that I sweat through my shirt. All I wanted to do was ask one question. Here's the hard part. You've got 15 dudes going... And you're like, I need my spot. When it's finally your turn. It's still nerve-wracking. I understand. But when it's finally your turn, I just have a question. Just have a question. Were you trying to fire the people up at the pep rally? Jenny Brown, this is Star Ledger. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there will be even more fans at the party next week. Just were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England? What was a pep rally? Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, God. People are pretty excited. Oh, my God. It wasn't like she flubbed her words. Right. It was like she didn't know that that was a pep rally. She didn't know it was a pep rally. Yeah, it's a send-off. I'm sorry. I thought it was a send-off, Tom. No. You know how it said Patriot Pep Rally? I know. I wasn't there. Oh, you weren't. I wasn't there. My line just said party. Yeah, I just heard of it. It said party. Send-off. Yeah.
I wasn't trying to. I know that 25,000 fans who were there were. 25,000 fans that were there. All right. You know, they were, it was a, it's just a pep rally there. So did you want them to know that you were confident? Yes. Okay. Thank you. I thought it was like someone on the team's birthday party. Thank you so much. And you were hoping that fans would show up and one of you guys would be like, hey, you guys here for the party? Thank you. And you. I laughed out loud. I felt bad. I felt bad. I did feel bad. But I think to Tom's defense. Right. He came to her defense. And Tom Brady's defense. I don't think he knew what to say about the pep rally. Let me say yes. Danny Brentis, the star ledger. Yes. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there will be even more fans at the party next week. Just were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England?
What was a pep rally? Dumb question anyway. People were pretty excited. Certainly the players were excited. I know the 25,000 fans who were there were excited as well. It was great to see the support. We get great support home in a way. Hopefully we have some Patriot jerseys in the stands next Sunday night. I'll give you a little... Nugget of information. Go ahead, LLB. Star Ledger is a newspaper outside of, it's in North Jersey. Yes. Which is where there's a ton of Giants fans. Uh-huh. So he probably knew she was trying to be like, you guys just think you're a bunch of like big shots? Think you're just going to win in? He knew that that was a slant from a paper that, you know, is going to be rooting for the Giants. Well, I thought it was a great answer. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the only thing he could have wrapped it up with is anything else? Is that it? I mean, is she kind of asking me a yes or no question? Did that answer your question? Yes. I did hope to. The way that he says, well, it was a pep rally. Yes. Could be on a T-shirt. I mean, it could be printed in quotations, well, comma, it was a pep rally. Jenny Brentis, the Star Ledger. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there will be even more fans at the party next week. Just were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England? Well, it was a pep rally.
By the way, he's in his $3,000 gray suit with a pink tie. I mean, he's looking like $1 million in cash. Oh, boy. That was a pep rally. Did you notice how she changed her voice when she started doing... quote, Tom Brady. You said this morning at the send-off, well, we're going to hopefully we'll see some more. She changes her voice to like. Let's hear it. She tries to do Tom Brady. Jenny Brent is the star ledger. At the send-off this morning, you said hopefully there'll be even more fans at the party next week. I think you're right. She does. Hopefully there'll be more fans. She's kind of being a smart ass. Like L.O.B. said, she's. kind of mocking and maybe trying to goad him into saying something. Were you hoping to kind of project a confidence as you guys departed from New England? Well, it was a pep rally. I think L.O.B.'s right. I think she was trying to get a little action out of him for, you know, Giants fans and try to like, oh, so you're going to talk a little smack about this? I'm trying to get something to print here that's talking smack about the Giants. She didn't get it.
Are you guaranteeing a win or something, Tom? Yeah. I couldn't tell. You guys just think you're Fannie McFanner pants over there? Yeah, you're just guaranteeing victories in the Super Bowl against a really good defense, Tom? Is that what you meant? He's like, yeah. Word of the day, by the way, is firework. I'll say that sometime between now and 9. When I do call her 9, when you call in, I'm going to give you a pair of tickets to SeaWorld. And that, by the way, they got something new coming up. It's called Manta. It's coming May 26th. Have you seen that? Yes, they were building it when I was there. It's huge. It's an all-new immersible display into the world of rays. So they built this thing, probably a ginormous cost, and you get to check it out. It's going to be opening up to the public May 26th, and you get to come out and check it out, see what it's all about.
So House of Blues, Saturday. How many girls, L.O.B.? There was about 20 girls. 20. Mm-hmm. And they were lined up on the sidewalk. I was late. Weird. And so I came running up, and I was like, dang. And a lot of girls. Yeah, and a lot of hot girls. Yeah? I mean, all hot girls. Yeah. I can concur. Yes, I can too. And they were ready to go. They were ready to go. Full garb, you know, dancing shoes. Fishnets. Wow. Some of them leopard pants. Like it was like, whoa, these girls are profesh. Did you get taught a routine? Yes, I did not get up on the stage because I figured it was embarrassing enough having people watch me once. I didn't want to have. people watch me. I figured, yeah, I'm a shoo-in, you know, it's L.O.B.'s dance party. So I let the girls, who are very brave, by the way, because there was all the, like, workers from the House of Blues, all the guys came out of the woodwork and they were watching the audition. Creepy Woods and Jay just sitting there taking it in real good. You guys were definitely creeping. Of course, I brought my wife with me, so I was fine. So, L.O.B., the quality of dancing. The quality, I was blown away by the quality. I actually...
I put a video up on the Mikey Show's Facebook page as well as my blog on MikeyShow.com. It's just a 30-second snippet of the routine that they had to do, which is not the exact routine that we're going to do on stage. But it's going to be even better, faster, sexier, the one that we do at the live broadcast. That's a song by Kanye West, I believe, is better, faster, sexier. Better, faster, sexier. And... I have to say, if I had to audition, I probably wouldn't have made the cut because it was pretty, like, it was a hardcore, yeah. There's a lot to remember, a lot of choreography that was involved, a lot of sex appeal. It was unbelievable. Oh, it really was. These girls remembered all these different steps. I was like, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. Well, check this out. We're going to be doing this February 17th, and, you know, it's not, lest people think it's something that's going to be done in, like, panties and bra. It isn't. Oh, it's not? And some lady was giving me the business this weekend. Weird. I know, man. Weird. She goes, I'm just surprised that you're doing that. And I said, really? I go, what are you surprised about? She goes, well, I just didn't think that somebody conservative like you would be. And I go, it's not bra.
And panties. It's not adult film. It's not adult film. It's anything that you could bring kids to. Absolutely. If you want to bring kids to the live broadcast, it's not X rated. It's not LOB does San Diego. It's PG rated. By the way, I'm going to go as far as saying it's PG 13 rated. And the reason I'll say that it's PG 13 rated is because we're not doing a show here for little kids. Right. In fact, we're doing a show for men. It's not. Now, that doesn't mean that we're out there filming an adult film in San Fernando Valley. Well, some of us aren't. Some of us aren't. I mean, in all fairness, Jay might be, and we don't know about him. You can't say it, but you'll be surprised. My parents are on the East Coast. They read my blog every night, and I put that video. I wouldn't put anything up there that I'd be embarrassed that my parents were to see it. And when I do that video, I'll put that up there, too. But let me tell you. It's going to be sexy as all get up. Oh, it's very sexy. We're going to wear like what dance, like what you can move in. And, you know, burlesque is all about appreciating the female form. Oh, and you'll be appreciating the female form. I appreciated the hell out of it. You cannot appreciate it in sweatpants and, you know, baggy T-shirt. No. And the appreciation will be happening on, it's appreciate the female body day on February 17th. Officially.
Friday, we're going to do an entire live broadcast of the House of Blues. Now, our goal is to have to stop allowing people in. Yeah. At some point that we will stop allowing people in. So February 17th, mark the day and get the day off of work so you can be down there. Part of the live broadcast, but also seeing LOB in whatever fishnet getup she's going to have. Definitely fishnets, heels. Plus, it's also the Friday of President's Day weekend. Oh, wow. So people should just... Have a four-day weekend. There you go. It started off early. It was going to be breakfast and mimosas. That's nice. So get down there. Kick this thing off. It's going to be pretty cool. Yesterday was the Pro Bowl and also a heartbreaker at the Farmer's Woods. What happened? What do you want to hear first? Pro Bowl. Let me know what happened. Pro Bowl first. Okay, yeah. The final score was the AFC 59 to the NFC 41. That is 100 points, my friend. Oh, wow. And it's the worst thing ever to watch. It's not a real football game. No. It's just watching people sling it. Yeah. It's really not cool to watch and not fun at all. But the Chargers had some big days. Phillip Rivers was 11 of 19 for 190 yards, two touchdowns, and one interception. Oh, wow. Ryan Matthews rushed eight times for 35 yards. And Eric Weddle had a great day. Picked off Cam Newton twice. Yeah, he looked really good. He played most of the game.
The worst. Eric Weddle is great. He is, man. He is. And it was just, it was really bad. Did you watch any of it? I watched a little bit. And the school of thought, the school of thought is, well, I get what you're saying. In terms of a football game, a National League football game, it is not a National League football game. Yeah. What I do, I have to admit, what I do like is watching a guy sling a ball 40 yards, a professional guy, and watching dudes like... Larry Fitzgerald catch it. Yeah. I'll watch those dudes play catch all day. And that's basically what it is. You're watching professionals play catch. Your MVP was Brandon Marshall. Guy caught four touchdown passes yesterday, 176 yards. And, you know, I watched, there's a couple guys you could tell. There's a couple guys it's their first time. Yeah. And they were a little aggro. There was a guy for the Steelers, Ryan Clark. Yeah. Jimmy Graham, the tight end for the Saints, goes up to make a catch. Yeah. And Ryan Clark kind of decks him. Yeah. And he hits the ground, and Jimmy Graham looks at him like, what are you doing? What are you doing, pal? Like, we're out here. We might as well not have helmets on. Right. And be wearing lays around our neck. Right. Because this is Honolulu. We're not here to, like.
lay sticks on each other. Yeah, and there were some guys that were playing, you know, I'm not going to say 100%, but I'll say 80. Some of these guys, it's in their nature. They're like, look, I'm a linebacker. I don't play pansy linebacker. Exactly. Exactly right. Well, this story, this one will get you, man, if you have a heart at all. The Farmers Invitational was yesterday. It was at Torrey Pines, and it was the final round. Kyle Stanley. is second year on the tour. He's had some heartbreaking defeats before. This one, he'll be thinking about for a while. He's standing on the 18th tee. He needs to make a double bogey to win. That is a seven. If he makes a double bogey, gets a seven, he is the winner of $1 million. Now, I can say without question that my friend Stephen R. Woods, if he's on the 18th, Most likely you're making a seven. I can. I could. I think you could. I could. I parred when I played last time. I had a couple pars. What's par there? Par 70. On that hole, it's five. It's five. So it's a par five. So it's not without reason that Stephen R. Woods can go out there and hit a seven. It's a good day. Is that a good day for you? Yeah, I'm happy if I get a seven. You're happy. Jay's going to get a seven on that hole. Yeah. Jay's going to get a seven. There's no question. Okay. Kyle Stanley.
Professional. Professional golfer. And all he needs to win, and he's standing there and he knows, if I get a seven, I win. He gets an eight. He gets an eight. So the guy that was in second place, Brant Snedeker, I think that's how you say it, walks off. He's like, all right, I got second. Because this guy, all he needs is a double bogey. I went, he's doing interviews as the runner-up already. The check, the big oversized check. Already has Kyle Stanley's name on it. It's already printed. It's literally in the bag. It is printed. Oh, gosh. It's printed. Gets an eight. Oh, gosh. They go to a playoff. Stanley, they tied on the first hole and then the second hole. Snedeker wins it. And Stanley just had this epic collapse. And they said it's one of the worst in tour history. And actually, after Snedeker won, when they did the handshake, he said, I'm sorry. Oh, my gosh. He said, I'm sorry. Insult. I hope he didn't have any coffee. Oh, man. He is not a closer. Oh, no, he's not a closer. No, dude. It's, in fact, the opposite of being a closer. Yeah. It was heartbreaking. Second prize, a set of steak knives. Yeah. He got a set of steak knives. Sorry, pal. He's driving out with a set of steak knives instead of $1 million. The check had his name on it.
It had his name on it. One million dollars. One million dollars. That's like something that happens in a movie and then the really dramatic music starts playing when he's like, oh, and the stroke sticks. You think this is abuse? You can't take this. How can you take the abuse you get on a six? Well, listen, you got to mentally, you got to be able to get up there. You have to. When you have that big of a lead on the 18th tee. You can't let that one get away. You just can't do it. I feel so bad for this kid. But you could see him melt down. I mean, watching that meltdown was like, oh, no. Missed a four-footer for the win. And just lipped it out left. And then he's like, oh, my God, I got to play off. And this guy, Brant Snedeker, is like, holy, really? I'm in? I can come back? I can come back? He's practicing putting. He's like, oh, wow, I'm back. Here he has his jeans on. Yeah, exactly. Change out of his cleats. Now, as sad as it is. for that kid Stanley is as great as it is for Snedeker. Yes. Who thought that he was going back to his hotel that day to call his parents and text his friends and say, eh, second prize, you know, what are you going to do? It's not bad. Second prize instead of steak. Well, guess what? I just won a million dollars. Yeah, and got a tour win. I mean, and that's just... It's fantastic. Oh, it was brutal, dude. Brutal. By the way, don't mind that luxury yacht that you see on the front page of the...
UT, and it's parked outside of San Diego Harbor right now. Don't mind that. That's Dennis Washington's yacht, okay? I don't know who he is either, but here's what I will tell you about him. I will tell you that a lot of people are going, whose yacht is that? If you've been anywhere down by Harbor Drive, you've been anywhere down by the harbor, people are going, whose is that? It's a 332-foot yacht, which, by the way, is only bigger than David Geffen's boat. And Paul Allen, Microsoft, his boat, it's only bigger than those two dudes. Holy cow. This guy, the reason that it's a 332-foot boat is, well, first of all, because it started as a 300-foot boat. But then he bought it and reportedly pumped a little bit more money into it and made it a 32-foot boat with a fifth story, a theater, a spa, and an interior design. that features antique fireplaces and art by somebody named Dale Chihuly. Now, I don't know who Dale Chihuly is, but apparently his work, his artwork, is so fine that people know who David Chihuly is. Dale. Dale Chihuly. Oh, you've got a Chihuly. Oh, it's impeccable. Yeah, it's impeccable. It's stunning. It's really stunning.
I thought that was the thing that they had at Taco Bell. No, that's a Chalupa, which is not to be confused. I thought Chaluli's was that place in East County with those corned beef tacos. No, you're probably thinking of Chuli's. Huli's. But this is a Dale Chihuly piece of artwork, which is probably called something like Hughes. You know, H-U-E-S. It's something artsy, and he's got it in his yacht. His $50 million. $50 million. $50 million 2007 Taiwanese yacht. Wow. Yes. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. You, too, can own a Taiwanese 2007 $50 million yacht. The guy is worth five, with a B, $5 billion. He's showing it off real good. He's showing it off real good. He lives in Missoula, Montana. He was visiting friends here in San Diego. And thought, you know what I should do? I should have the yacht brought in. Because if I'm going to be in San Diego, that's a port city. Bring the yacht in. Yeah, for sure. And then maybe me and the friends go on board and watch a movie. Unbelievable. And then I'll send it back. Yeah, I'll send it back. Because I'm paying for it, you know. Yeah. Paying for the darn thing. He's a mining tycoon. Mining. That's what the guy's into. Gosh darn, dude. We talk on the radio. He's into mining. Yeah. Woods.
Your shoulders sore? Why don't you come over this weekend to the yacht? I'll put you in the spa. I'm in. On the boat. And then afterwards, we'll watch Goodfellas in our theater. Yeah, then we'll take a spin around the harbor. Spin around the harbor and then maybe hit the pool on the boat in the middle of the harbor. I want one week on that thing. Just one week. Can you imagine? The two of us. You silly sausage. Can you imagine? Nope. Just having the chef make you shark sandwiches in the afternoon. 25 years ago today, the challenger. 25 years ago today, the challenger. Where were you, L.O.B.? I was in maybe kindergarten or something. I was a sophomore in high school. I was in fourth or fifth grade. There you go. Jay, you were celebrating your 47th birthday that day. I hate you. 60% of dudes consult with women before they do this. We'll tell you what it is. And we're going to play Buzzword. So if you want to play 570-1949, you're going to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B in Buzzword. Go to the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. In the beginning, people used primitive tools to shop for groceries, handwritten lists, envelopes full of coupons, and sales flyers tucked under their arms.
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Also, a little bit of a delay here on the 54 westbound Grand Avenue to Point Parkway, 40 miles an hour. And we do have an accident, this one over here on the 52 westbound right before Santo Road. This report brought to you by H&R Block. With H&R Block, Office Online, Mobile, and Block Live, you can now prepare and file your taxes whenever, wherever, and however you like. H&R Block, never settle for less. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Jared at createyourdesignonline.com is, for lack of a better term, a beautiful man. Why? Because he does graphic design like nobody you've ever seen. And as it turns out, he is a sharp cat. He is. And so if you would like him to do your website or anything like that, you know, good looking people are more successful. That's a true story. The better looking you are, the more successful you are. He's the combination of two things. He's like Brad Pitt. Good looking, but actually talented. Yeah. Create.
YourDesignOnline.com. Go there. Jared will do all the stuff for you. It's great. If you check out the LOB's dance party on the Mikey Show page, he did that and he whipped it up in about an hour. Yeah, he did. Go to MikeyShow.com and you can see what LOB's talking about. LOB is going to be dancing in a... What would you call it? Pussycat doll style. Pussycat doll style. Burlesque. Very foxy. Whipping her gift all around. That's right. Jay calls her butt her gift. The gift. The gift. Yep. He had a photoshopped picture on the Mikey Show Facebook page with my butt with a bow on it that said the gift. I will post that again for everybody. That's not actually you. Yeah, that's me. 100% that's her. That's me from my Kauai album. You know what, L-O-B? What? That means, in order for that to be true, it means that a couple of other things have to be true. Yeah. It means that he would have had to have gone on your Facebook page, and not only would he have to have gone into the album called Kauai, but he would have had to click through various pictures to get to that particular picture. Oh, yeah.
He has it bookmarked. Uh-huh. Reality is that I saved the picture as soon as I saw it. Oh, my. Because I knew at some point I was going to need it. That. Oh, my. Need it. What he just said. Wow. Is enough to have Lauren's boyfriend kick his ass and not get tried by a jury of his peers. Yeah, it's called justifiable. Justifiable ass kicking. I knew M was we're going to demand it at some point. In other words, if a jury of his peers, and by his, I mean Lauren's boyfriend. If a jury of his peers said, well, why did he get his ass kicked? Why did her boyfriend kick his ass? Well, Your Honor, because he said that he saved this picture because he knew he was going to, finger quote, need it. Case dismissed. Case dismissed. I just showed it to the judge. The judge would go, hey, you're right. I don't blame you. You got me there, buddy. Hey, Matt, you're going to wait for life. It brought creepy to a new level. Creepy to a new level.
He took a real picture of Lauren's behind and put the word the gift on it. Well, the fact that he saved it earlier. And photoshopped a bow. Just in case I were to remove it. Or for whatever reason, he decided he needed that on his computer. If she ever decides at a later date to join the convent. The convent? The convent? Convent. The nun's convent? What did I say? The nun's convent. Convent. Follow my lips. Convent. Convent. Convent. You got it. How did I say it wrong? It's a convenant. Yeah, you got it. It's perfect. Well, if she's going to join the convenant, I'm going to make sure I got it. Oh, boy. So, yeah, L.O.B., House of Blues, February 17th, shaking her groove thing. 60% of men won't leave the house without consulting a woman about their clothing. It's true. It's a true story and a true statement. It should be higher. It should be. It is higher. It's 99%. I think 99%. According to a news survey, 60% of men say they consult with their wife or girlfriend about what they wear before they go to work. 58% have their partner tie their tie, and 29% even have her butt in their shirt. That's unnecessary. That is unnecessary. Six years old? Get someone to butt in your shirt. Do you have no hands? Yeah. I think that it's men's desire to be babied and to be mothered.
and they want their girlfriend to assume that role. Used to. Kim would say, as I walk out the garage, he'd say, spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch. Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch. Now, what that means is, Jay, don't forget your glasses, because he used to wear glasses. He used sunglasses, same thing. Okay. Don't forget your balls. I don't know what that is. My telephone. That's what she called my telephone. You had to have it. Okay. And your wallet. Don't forget it. Kim will figure your wallet. And don't forget to put your watch on. Those are good. Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch is a good thing to go on. I don't think most people call a phone testicles. I will now. Are my balls ringing? Yeah, your balls are blowing up all day. What's going on with you? I'm going to intercept that call. Think about that. I just did. Just did. Hold them close to your mouth, please. When you talk. Hey, Woods. What? They have to be able to hear you? They have to hear you, dude. Remember before the show started today? Yikes. Remember? You get a word. Wow. Now he's up dancing like he can't hear anything. It's time to play buzzwords. Come on. All right, let's do this. You're going to pick myself or Woods or L.O.B. And what's the prize, Jay? Today's prize is a pair of tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross at Qualcomm Stadium, February 11th.
Tickets now available at Ticketmaster. Identical movie phone guy. M1 Trophy Lounge from Chula Vista. Who do you want? I got what? Weird. He's always taking first. I always get hosed, too. M1 Daniel from Oceanside. I'll take my key. Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, my gosh. I won last week. I mean, no big deal. I'm taking second. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. You got LOB hanging the line, okay? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's play some buzzword. Let's play some buzzword, and what is the word J? Today's word is pig. Pig. P-I-G. Pig. All right, here we go. Let's do it. Stubborn. Pig-headed. I can relate. Here we go. Food feast. Pig out. Wow. Wow.
Call that every day of the week. Do I? Sidney Brady had them. Pigtails! L-O-B. Who wants to be the first one? Pig in the boat! Whoa. Pig's tail. Pig at the front of the line! Piggy back. Pig nose. Who wants to be the first one? Pull the pig. It's kind of like a test. Oh, guinea pig! Pig! I can do what I want. I'm running the game. Gosh, darn. Here we go. Montana, 3-1. Sanders. Pickskin. Pickskin. Son of a... Oh, gosh, gosh. I had to think about it. I want to say Montana. Montana? Here we go. Childs. Piggyback. 401k. Piggyback. Dang it. Dang it. Who got that one?
You did. I did. I said piggyback, and then Wood said piggyback. Yeah, Wood's got it. And he got credit for it. Well, really? But nobody can hear me pointing on the radio. Nobody can hear you pointing on the radio. Here we go. Some men. Piggyback. Pigsty. Some men are this. Pigs. Pigheaded. Pigs. Pigs. All men are pigs. Piggy. Bachelor pigs. Pig bachelors. Yeah, chauvinist pigs. Chauvinist pigs. I should have known that one. Yeah, you should have. I should have known that one. Here we go. Woof targets. Woof targets. We have three little pigs. What's a woof? Woof. You know, like, afraid of the big bad woof. Big bad woof. What do you want? He'll huff and he'll puff. I couldn't answer. You know, a freaking woof. A woof. You know, like a woof. A woof.
What is it again? Like a wolf in sheep's clothing. A wolf. It's wolf. I love when it's your fault. Fine. Fine. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Here we go. Same word? Same word. Charlie Brown's... Big Ben! Wow. What's the score? The score is Mike, one, Lauren, three, Woods, four. There's only one more on this one, and I'll go to a new word. Kermit's love. Miss Piggy! Miss Piggy! Miss Piggy. I said Piggy. I said Piggy. Pig Lady. Pig Lady. Hey, Pig Lady. Hey, Pig Lady. What's the next word? Leaf. L-E-A-F. Leaf. Oh, gosh. All right. Put this in your three-ring binder. It's loose leaf paper. Wow. That was a mouthful. Yeah, it was. It was.
Here we go. It extends the furniture. A leaf. Table leaf. Table leaf. Oh, gosh. Who got it? Who got it? Wood's got it. It was obvious. He points. It was so obvious. He points for radio. I'm going to point in a minute here. Here we go. Are you ready? Yes. How many? What score? Oh, gosh. Jay. He's icing us. Mike, one. Lauren, four. Wood, six. Okay. Let's see. M1, trophy lounge. Are you still with us? Yes, I am. It looks like Woods is going to just bring this home for you. But who knows? Who knows? Right now, you're in the lead. And Lauren is coming in second place. Lisa, you're looking good, too. And I'm very sorry, M1 Daniel. Right now, it looks dire. It looks very dire. But who knows? I could make a comeback. Well, I'm going to make this easy. It's going to be a couple three-pointers here. Let's do it. How many more? Oh, God.
I have at least three more for us. Oh, gosh. You're giving me a heart attack. Three more three-pointers? Leaf, leaf, leaf. Maybe. Leaf, leaf, leaf. All right. We'll see. Canada's... Leaf, maple leaf! Maple leaf! Wood's got it. Here we have a five-pointer. Oh, boy. This is it. This is all the bananas. All right, all right. Turn over, new leaf! A loopy highway interchange. Cloverleaf. A turning leaf. Oh, you got it, Mikey. Holy crap. Yeah, you still lose. You still lose. Dang it. Oh, man. I'm on Trophy Lounge. Trophy Lounge, you there? Yes, I am. Woods won for you. Oh, my gosh. My head. Oh, man. My goodness. You almost gave us a heart attack doing it, but he won for you. What did he win again, Jay? He won tickets to the AMA Monster Cross Supercross. There you go. Hang on.
The Monster Cross Supercross. Yeah, it's the Monster Cross Supercross. Monster Cross Supercross. My biggest weakness is I get these sayings in my head, and I cannot get them out. You've got to clear the mechanism. You've just got to clear it out. That's why I kept three piggybacks. L.O.B. You think of them first, you run through them real quick, and then you get rid of them. I know. Just in case. Or you say pig lady. Or you say pig lady. Hey, pig lady. When you're thinking of Miss Piggy, you say pig lady. Pig lady. Let's see. Something else to tell you about. Weekend story. These are all stories to try to arm you as you go into work today so that you know a little something, just enough to keep you dangerous. I thought the Tom Brady thing was fantastic, but also, how about this story? Apparently, the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, directed by David Fincher. It's out in theaters right now. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
will not be shown in India. The reason is because they said that it was unsuitable for public viewing. They said that they showed a lesbian in it and that they won't do that. That is not suitable for public viewing. And they also say that the India board, the censored board, they call it the censored board. I don't know what you call it, America. FCC? FCC, this is intended for a material audience. The ratings bureau? Yeah, correct. Well, they said that it is not going to pass the mustard. Pass the mustard? What did you say? You heard what I said. I said it's not going to pass the mustard. Oh. They said mustard. Now, what they said was that they want to maintain and protect the vision of the director.
And as always, they're going to respect the guidelines that have been set by the board. But the girl with the dragon tattoo is not going to be shown. Quit getting any wild ideas. Will not happen. Now, if you've never seen the girl with the dragon tattoo, it's very violent. And there are some scenes that involve some risque action. Do you think that they'll do a Bollywood remake? They may. It may become a play. Where they incorporate Bollywood. Did you hear about Christina Aguilera's performance of Etta James? Yes. Oh, I listened to it. And did you not like it, Woods? Of course I didn't like it. It sounds like doo-doo. Okay. Oh, yeah. Was she a little too runny? Oh, she... That I can't speak to. You don't have to do so many runs. You don't have to do so many runs. Stretch out one word for 30 seconds. The repeat.
That the finger was flying. Four times. All right, we get it. Uh-oh. She blew a gasket. Oh, come on. You come on. Oh, come on. And then James called and said, it's cool. You can just stop. Yeah, stop. It's good. She's at a memorial service. I know. She's at a freaking concert. It's not a chance for you to showcase how long you can hold your breath. Yeah, seriously. That is a good point. Come on. Okay, that's a good point. All right, you got me there. The family is a weeper. I get it. I understand what you're saying. Oh, gosh. And I don't blame you now. Now that I put it in a little perspective, when she walked off the stage, maybe somebody comes up and goes,
Somber mom. Somber. It's about Etta. It's about Etta today. Yeah. Today is about Etta. It's supposed to be. It's not always about you, honey. We're supposed to be memorializing Etta. Doesn't the voice show up? Don't you have that next week? Isn't that enough? Yeah. Aren't you fine? I mean, you get enough? Don't you? Aren't you in enough tabloids? The flashing that says Etta. There you go. Now you saw it. Now you finally saw it. You saw the light. She probably didn't do it. She's still doing it. Flash the light again. Flash the light that says Etta. The red light. It's called the Etta light. Remember we told you about the Etta light? It's like the music in the Oscars. Oh, she's still going. Good idea. They're actually shooing her out of the service, and she's doing it on the way to her car. She has a hook. Yeah. We told her. Big hook. Good idea, Bob. Get Christina on here. You guys heard about this new show coming on the National Geographic channel called Doomsday Preppers? Nope. Holy.
This is the lifestyle that we live. Let's go. We're bugging out. Tuesday Preppers, a new series premieres Tuesday, February 7th at 9 on the National Geographic Channel. Okay. Now, a lot of people, myself included, have what they call an emergency kit. Yep. Okay. An emergency kit consists of Band-Aids and some things like that. And if you really want to take it to the nth degree, maybe you've got some bottled water. Right. You've got some food, stuff like that. Ammo. Yes. Ammo? Yeah. Ammo. They're going to fight the zombies and the aliens. It's good to have a gun. Now, Jay is the reason that this is a show. You see, a lot of us, normal Americans, feel it's never a bad thing to be prepared. Right. Okay? These are not your garden variety preparedness folks. These people have built bunkers. These people have gas masks. And they've also got gas masks fitted for children.
their children, they are prepared for the end of the world. And they're called doomsday preppers. Crazy. They exist, and I want to put them under a microscope and just kind of look at them and fine-tune that microscope and go, oh, look at you. Wow, that is something else. Oh, look at you, Tiger. You're really something with that thing in your hands. That's a bow and arrow. Now, this is a new show. I cannot wait to see it. Because it is going to involve all of these people that have thousands of cans. Not eight cans of goods. Right. No. Thousands of cans. Underneath their home. They've built. And they have. And just like the show Hoarders where they go to people that collect all the stuff. Yeah. This is a show that will document the lives of people who believe that the world is going to end. And it's called Doomsday Preppers. Don't you think that they're... wanting something to happen. They're wanting something to happen. Undeniably. Undeniably. Every day they go down there, they pull the hatch and they go, gosh, it's still here. It's freaking perfect. Let's go. I saw a thing yesterday about this guy who bought a silo and he's building all homes all down in it and he's selling them. But nobody's bought them yet. Oh, there will be. I guarantee you there will be because there is a portion of the audience
that is this person. Crazy. You're listening right now. You may be a doomsday prepper, but they're out there. Do you know people are getting paid for their tweets? I didn't know it until today. People are getting paid for their tweets. It may piss you off and annoy you. I'll tell you all about it. I also have a very embarrassing story to tell you about. Very embarrassing. Can't wait. It's coming up. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. The Vons Pharmacy is putting out the welcome mat. And it stretches from one end of the Vons parking lot all the way to the other. That's what we do. And if you're an Express Scripts plan member from Walgreens who's looking for a new home, we welcome Express Scripts. Plus, you'll get a $25 reward coupon when you transfer your prescriptions to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll do all the work to make transferring easy. How's that for a warm welcome? The Vons Pharmacy is your one stop for wellness. We have everything from immunizations to prescriptions all right here.
Plus, you'll get the experience and friendly professional service we're known for. That's like getting a welcome mat and a giant red carpet. Make the switch to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll make you feel right at home. Vons. Ingredients for life. Medicare, Medicaid, and other government programs excluded. Other restrictions and exclusions apply. See pharmacy for details. Offer expires March 31st, 2012. Coupon good towards a future shopping trip of $50 or more. Hey guys, it's Woodsy, and I've got to tell you that Valentine's Day is coming up. What are you going to get your sweetie? How about a gift that keeps on giving the entire year through? Give the Ovation Cell Therapy Valentine's Day gift set. It's only available for a limited time, but it will give you and your Valentine hair that looks healthy. Again, you've heard LOB and I talk about Ovation Cell Therapy. Salvation Cell Therapy and how great our hair is looking. That's right. My hair is...
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In minutes, you'll be saving like never before. Click, shop, save. Sign up for just for you at Vons.com. This week at Vons, don't miss amazing Vons Club specials, like fresh 80% lean ground beef for only $197 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. And organic navel oranges are only $129 a pound. At Vons, you get great quality and low prices. Count on it every day. Vons, ingredients for life. For auto, home, life. And banking. Get to a better state. Find an agent or get a quote at statefarm.com. This report brought to you by Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calorie menu. Great tasty meals starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. Come in. Try one today. Well, we've got an accident on the 52 westbound before Santo Road, and then it's a stretch of slowing behind it from Santo to Mass Boulevard, actually to Mission Gorge Road. It goes down to about 37 to 58 miles an hour. Not too bad, but there is some slowing there. On the 8 eastbound, the 15 north, speed's picking up a little bit. It's about 40 miles an hour. And then a small delay here on the 805 northbound 43rd Street, about 48 miles an hour.
This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Do you ever feel like you hit a roadblock when marketing your small business? Constant Contact helps you overcome those obstacles by giving you the easy-to-use tools that combine the power of email marketing with social media. Visit ConstantContact.com. Get started today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. That'll work. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Oh, my God. On FM 94.9. Well, I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head. That didn't hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad. So I had one more for dessert. Then I fumbled in my closet. I'm Mikey, that's Woods. That's Lauren O'Brien, who's going to be dancing February 17th, along with about eight to ten other girls on stage at the House of Blues. And if you want to see it, just get the day off and come down. It's free. House of Blues, February 17th, which is a Friday. Come on down and hang out with us. Our producer is Jay and our...
Phone screener is Nicole. The Winter Extreme Olympics are going on right now. The X Games and also Woods. You got something to tell us about the UFC. Yeah, man. Your boy decided Saturday night. I'm going to check out this UFC phenomenon on Fox. And I watched the main event, which was Rashad Evans against Phil Davis, who actually trains in Chula Vista. Watched that match. On Fox and was riveted, man. Five rounds. Now, the end result turned out to be kind of a letdown because Rashad won by a decision. But there were some pretty interesting parts, man. He does this move, the crucifix. You probably know all about it. I've never watched a lot of it. But he holds his body weight on top of Phil Jones. And so he can't move his arms. So his face is just open. And he's just so great. He's just pummeling his face. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. the most exciting sport. It's the most exciting sport, I think, besides football. Not for me. Out there right now. I love it. It sets it up. It sets up Rashad Evans to go fight Jon Jones. And that's kind of what he wanted. It's a title shot. So it was exciting. And like I said, man, I heard that football music.
Yeah, I was like, well, I'm in. And so I watched it. That's what they're using. Or maybe I'm growing. Also, Carlsbad's own Sean White had just an amazing day at the Winter X Games in Aspen. Actually got a perfect score of 101 Super Pipe Gold. He is the third athlete and first in Super Pipe to win five consecutive titles. That guy knows how to snowboard. That's awesome. And that's a true statement. So this was a little bit embarrassing. I think I told you about how we did this thing where my brother made a little videotape for the company that gave my son a traffic light. Now, my son's autistic. His name is Jake. He's five. And we wanted to say thank you to the company that did it. And so my brother, really nice of him, he filmed Jake. seeing the traffic light for the first time. And it was pretty cool. It was like a nice little moment. We sent it. Well, Rebecca, my wife, asked me if I could put it on a DVD so that we could send it to the company that made the traffic light. And we did. And it was pretty cool. Well, they had our information. They called and they talked to Rebecca. And they said, hey, that was really, really nice of you. By the way, who is Jay Isbell? I said this to my wife.
Who is Jay Isbell? Oh, boy. What did he do? He sent something in. Trying to get something free. As soon as I heard that, that's the first thing that came to my mind. What did Jay do? I want a traffic light for myself. I want to put it up on the street. That's right. Jasper needs one, too. Yeah. It does make sense. Hey, Mike said free, right? All right. I'll get it. I'll get one. My son's not artistic, but I can still get something for free. You can draw, though. That's what I thought. No. My wife said, well. Jay is the producer on Mike's show. Why? They said, well, there's a picture of a sandwich. What? On the slideshow that you made on the DVD, there's a picture of a sandwich. And it says Jay Isbell on it. A sandwich? Why do you have a sandwich that says Jay is from? Why do you have a picture of a sandwich that says Jay is from? Yeah, who has pictures of sandwiches? You're a sex pervert. I, last year, as a joke, took a picture of a sandwich that Jay got that he didn't want anybody to take it home, so he wrote his name on it. What? Either he wrote his name on it or they wrote his name on it from the sandwich place that we order from. One of the two.
Maybe. That was probably when he ordered a special sandwich and then didn't show up. Is that what it was? Yep. Well, I didn't order it. Yes, you did because it's got your name on it, Jay. Yeah, it has your name. But guess what Captain Dumbhead, me, did. As I was making a slideshow of pictures of Jake. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I, on accident. threw in a picture of Jay's sandwich. Oh, no. And you didn't, after you made it, this is obvious you didn't go back and check your work. Yes, Woods, because I would have obviously left a picture of Jay's sandwich. So this tear-jerking music's playing. Tear-jerking music is playing, and they're watching this beautiful slideshow. Oh, my gosh. Really nice pictures, high-resolution pictures of Jay. And one picture of a sandwich that says Jay is Bella. They probably thought you were weird. Oh, that made my head hurt. This must really mean something. Oh, I'm dizzy. I'm dizzy. They thought that somehow it made sense. Yeah. That must be Jay's godfather. Yeah.
Jake's Godfather. It somehow all had to make sense. Why a sandwich that says Jay Isbell on it? Yeah, that was really touching. What was the sandwich there for? He's infiltrating every part of your life. Yeah, he is. You're dreaming. He sure is. Yep. He's in my diet and he's in my dreams. There's no question. You got to get him out of your head. I can't. Don't let him affect you. He is. He is pervasive in my life, dude. He's everywhere. I'm going to put this picture of Jay's sandwich. So go to Facebook.com slash Mikey show. If you want to see a picture of a sandwich that has Jay's name on it and it downloaded into my computer, it was on my computer. Makes complete sense. It's incredible. I'm throwing pictures in there and I probably put 25 pictures. One of them is of his sandwich. Who's Jay Isbell? How do you know Jay Isbell? What kind of sandwich does he like? How do you still have that, Mike? That was from like a year ago. Because I don't go through and go, well, let me delete this and let me delete this. I'm not a pervert, L-O-B, if that's what you're getting at. You do take pictures of sandwiches. That's a weird thing. It's just weird, Mike, that you still have that picture. What are you up to? Are you holding it against him? Yeah.
I have it as blackmail. Yeah. Sometimes late at night you just whip it out and look at it and you're like, oh, look at that. Look at that sandwich. You're a sandwich. He ordered a sandwich on company money and didn't eat it. Didn't show up to the meeting. I don't remember that. That doesn't sound like me. That's that time that you lied. Oh, the meeting? Yeah, when you lied and said you had a dental appointment. When you had a dentist appointment on a plane. Yeah. They sprung a meeting on me last minute. So if they spring a meeting, Jay's the... guy that lies about the meeting. The lie. He's the lie guy. He's the lie guy. I had an actual dentist. Did? No, you did it. This Friday I do not, but I'm not going. You were sniggling like, y'all have fun. Have a great time, y'all. It's weird that he had a surfboard under his arm when he was saying that. It sucks to be you guys. Too bad you don't have a dentist like I do. It's called Dr. Convenient. Yeah, Dr. Convenient. That's his name if y'all ever want to go to him. It's Dr. Convenient. His office is in the Pacific Ocean. That's right. Down at Pipe. The only place I'll meet me is at Pat's. I had a board meeting. I had a board meeting. Hey, y'all, I got a board meeting today. Sharp board. They ordered the guy a special sandwich and he no-shows you. Real good. They should have asked me first. Well, you'll see a picture of his sandwich because I'll be posting it online in just a few minutes. That's brilliant. Oh, yeah. It's only me. Let's see. So, how much does Kim Kardashian get paid for tweeting? Come on.
She actually does get paid for tweeting. It's a true story. She's not the only one. She makes $10,000 every time she will tweet about something. She tweets for ShoeDazzle.com, CVS, $10,000. She has the most, I think, most Twitter followers of anyone. Snoop, $8,000 a tweet. Every time he tweets, $8,000. Every time he tweets about... particular company. You can buy Snoop and that's what it'll cost you. You want to buy Paula Abdul, it'll cost you $5,000 a tweet. You want to buy Charlie Sheen $50,000 per tweet per company. Oh my God. Internships.com hired Charlie Sheen. Hello. $50,000 per tweet. Can you believe that? I'm shocked. Does it bother you? Yes.
It bothers me. I'm jealous. You know how much effort it takes to do a tweet? None. It's 140 characters. If a person that I follow tweets about something, I don't care. I don't care. I do. You do? Yeah, if somebody said something last night about Modern Family and I was like, no, you're wrong. I wrote him back and I was like, no, the show's great. But what about a product? I'm in. I want to know if it's like a movie or an artist or a product. I want to know. Yeah, if some dude says something, I don't care. I'm not going to buy it. I'm either going to buy it or I'm not going to buy it. I either like it or I don't like it. Hey, let's say I'm following, let's say for whatever reason I'm following Philip Rivers. Yes. And he says, I bought this type of shampoo. Okay. Well, not shampoo. Not shampoo. Hey, I bought a... Chevy today. I bought a Ford Ranger. What if you were in the market, though? I'm in the market for a car. Okay. What if somebody tweeted, I lost 20 pounds? You know, Philip Rivers writes, hey, man, I'm on this new supplement, and, man, I feel great. I'm losing weight. I'm in. I want to know, and I'm looking at it. Let's go apples for apples. Okay. Let's say that I follow Kim Kardashian. Nah, that's a woman, so that's not fair.
Let's say I follow Charlie Sheen. You probably use more of the same products that Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's a true statement. That is a true statement. That is a true statement. So if she tweets about CVS, I either go there or I don't. Yeah. I see if I am in the market for something or if it's something I hadn't heard about, I'm in. Yeah. I'm checking it out. This is what you have to ask yourself about each of these individual people. Kim Kardashian, Snoop Dogg, Paula Abdul, Charlie Sheen. These are just the examples that I have. But what you have to ask yourself about them is, how trustworthy do I find them? Because the truth is, is that I advertise for different companies and I will not do the business until I believe in the business. And I have to, that was the thing that, man, when I was at Clear Channel, oh my gosh. Trying to shove it down your throat? Well, it wasn't necessarily that. Sometimes I think that there may have been, understandably. some animosity, maybe from even a client's perspective, because they're like, what, you don't think we're any good? If I said no. Right. But it just didn't fit. It either wasn't a good fit or for whatever reason. And sometimes it is, and it will surprise people. For instance, I would advertise for, I would have advertised for... Cheetahs? No. Deja vu? No. A head shop.
No. Thanks for helping. F Street. No. Trojan. Trojan. No. The bail bonds. Oh, yeah. King Stallman. King Stallman. I wouldn't have had any problem advertising for King Stallman. No. I'm not suggesting that you put yourself in a position where you're going to need bail bonds, but if you do, you want a good bail bonds company. Well, yeah, and it's not always you did something. crazy wrong. You could have too many traffic tickets. It doesn't matter if you murdered someone. It doesn't matter to me if it's about murder or if it's about a traffic ticket. If somebody finds themselves in a position where they're in jail, then you need a service. Now, I wouldn't feel good saying go into a certain place. I wouldn't feel comfortable about cheetahs because I don't believe in the product. Jay may believe in the product. I don't believe in the product. It's a great product. It's maybe the best product. Woods may believe in the product. I don't believe in the product. I don't know about the food, but the product is something else. So you've got to ask yourself, Charlie Sheen, when he's doing internships.com, is that any good? I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't either. I knew about it because of him. You found out about it because of him? Maybe that's how they want to put themselves on the map.
CBS and Kim Kardashian. Well, you're either going to enjoy the service you get there or you're not. Maybe you're a person that out of habit goes to thrifty and then you hear that Kardashian does it and you think she's hot and you think to yourself, you got to ask yourself, do I believe that she actually goes to CBS? Right. Well, sometimes it just is subliminally planted. You're driving and you see the CVS sign and your brain goes, I saw that somewhere. But what about if somebody tweets about it? What if Lauren tweets about it? That's what I'm saying. You might not even have to consciously be like, I believe in that. The visual just got put in your head. You've eaten it already. If you've already eaten it, it don't matter. I'm tweeting for $10 a tweet. I will go as low as $9 a tweet. I'll do it for $1. Wow. That's what I've heard. Oh, wow. Wow. I mean, when he comes in there sometimes and swoops in and just... Because obviously I'm some sort of prostitute. I guess that's the parallel he's making. A very low-rent prostitute, apparently. I'm sorry. Clearly in my past. I'm sorry about that, LLB. A dollar. These people would pay for mine, pal. A dollar. Okay. One dollar.
We'll get you. Creepy Uncle Jay. Intercourse with Lauren O'Brien. Yeah. Obviously. Obviously. Old Uncle Jay. You can't take him to parties and you can't take him to parties. You can't get him anywhere. You really can't take him anywhere. That's a great joke. Thank you. Jokes are always funny when there's a kernel of truth to that. Hey, let me tell you something, L.O.B. Yes. Making sex to you is like firework going off, girl. Oh, how's that? Well, I'll tell you how. Because you used to be a prostitute. Do you get it? You guessed my drift? The joke doesn't make sense. Girl, what I'm saying is... Call me girl. Lady? No. Woman? What I'm saying is you're so hot, men would pay to have you be a whore for them. Yeah, they would. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, they would. Only a dollar. I didn't mean it bad. I'm saying they'd be willing to pay up to a dollar for it. No, I think they'd pay more. All right, girl. Let's find out. You already told me not to say girl. Missy? Little harlot. You little harlot. You are a smelly pirate hooker. Not making it better, Jay. He's poking the tiger. He's making it real uncomfortable. He's uncomfortable. He's throwing gas in the fire. M1 Brandon is on the line from Santee. Are you there, Brandon? Yeah, what's up, Mikey? What was the word of the day? It was fireworks.
Look at you. Look at you listening like an intent listener. You won. That's right. And today, the word of the day is tickets to SeaWorld, so hang in line, okay? It's a high value, and congratulations. It's sunny outside and beautiful, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be nice. In fact, the warm weather is gone. Came into town, visited for a couple of days. It was really nice meeting up. But then said, sorry, have to go. Well, hopefully it'll take the bad drivers with it. Yeah, maybe it will. People drive like idiots when it's nice out. They do. That's what I've come to find. Well, here's what we were finding yesterday in terms of temperatures. Yesterday at Gillespie Field, it was 81 degrees. Oh, crazy. San Marcos, it was 80 degrees. This is Hawaiian weather. Oh, yeah. It's perfect Hawaiian weather. Oceanside, it was 79. Escondido, 79. Chula Vista, 78 degrees yesterday. Fallbrook and Hamul, 77. Gorgeous, beautiful, not a cloud in the sky degrees. 75 in La Mesa. Lindbergh Field, 74. Today, temperatures will plummet. And at Lindbergh Field today, it will be 63 degrees.
Because now there is a shallow, what they call marine layer moving in. The old marine layer. That's right. There's a lot of ladies that can call themselves that, huh? That is a true statement in this town. That was a very big player my first year here in San Diego, that marine layer. The marine layer. Gosh darn. January has been so nice, though. We got really lucky. Well. Better than July. Yeah. It ain't lasting. Did you guys watch the Farmers Tournament on TV yesterday? Yes, I did. They were showing, like, aerial shots. And I was like, man, if I was on the East Coast watching that or anywhere else in the country, I'd be like, I got to move there. All they talked about, all the announcers said, they must have said 7,000 times, they said, it's like Hawaii here. It's like Hawaii. This is great. Look at this weather. It's like Hawaii. There was no sound on for me, but all I could see was just blue. They were showing, like, the cliffs in La Jolla. They were showing the paragraph. Paragliders. That is why, by the way, it's so expensive to live here. Because it's picture-perfect weather. Sunshine tax. Let's just hope that it lasts. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they made a very odd announcement. Earlier they had said they will not get married until the gays can get married. We're getting a lot of pressure from the kids.
Oh, yeah? And, yeah, it means something to them. And they're, you know, they have questions when their friends' parents are married and why is that? So what do you tell them? We will someday. We will. That's a great idea. Yeah. And when you say... Give mommy a ring. Okay, I will, I will. I'm surprised that that is not frowned upon. What's that? The getting married. No? I mean, now. Frowned upon by whom? By society. Like, you don't have to get married. They are technically married. Yeah, technically they are. Technically they're married. He can still get a ring. I'm very surprised that he would bow to the pressure. Well, it's his kids. Your kids ask you to do something. You're like, all right. And if you know they're right, you're like, all right. Kids ask for a pony. They ask for all kinds of crap. That's different. Yeah, this is something that the rest of their friends have. They're like, how come you guys don't want to? I'll tell you why. Because we don't have to bow to society.
Societal norms. That's why. I'm not going to bow to the societal norm. Is this Bill Diamond? What's the point? They're going to get divorced anyway. Yeah, very soon. They're celebrities. I'm surprised. I'm surprised they're not thinking that way. I wouldn't bother. I heard that interview. They're actually talking about getting more kids. They want more kids? Well, the more kids are going to want more wedding rings on mom's fingers. Hey, listen, I think it's great. I think they should get married. Yeah, for sure. I think it'd be awesome. Prenup it up. What's the divorce rate in Hollywood? It's got to be 90%. I know. It's 55% out here. The divorce rate in Hollywood is no different than the divorce rate is in the rest of America. It's 55% to 75%. It's terrible. Yeah. Now, what doesn't make headlines is any marriage in Hollywood that makes it. Right. That isn't going to make headlines. The old Tom Hanks bit. Yeah. Tom Hanks, Rita, whatever faces. Let's see. Hanks. Let's see. Sexy or sexual? Woods, I'm going to give you a name. You tell me if it's sexy or sexual. Okay, I'm ready. Renee. Oh, sexual? Without hesitation. Sexual? Sexual. What does that mean? It means that when you think of that name, don't go so far. Foxy. Wow, wow. Sex, real sexual. Okay. Sexy.
matter with you? Yeah, what is wrong? What are you talking about? Real sexual. It's like you got shot out of the Fruit Loop cannon today. What are you talking about? You're being strange. No, I'm not. A little bit. This is what I'm talking about. You guys are perfect. You try to be in that dynamic. You are a little bit shot out of the Fruit Loop cannon today. You're being a little perverted today. I'm a pervert. Yeah, he is. Isolate. Isolate. Sexy is cocktail dress. Okay. Sexual is... I'm wearing the cocktail dress, and I'll probably go home with you and do some naughty things to you and never talk to you again. Renee, sexual. That's my middle name. Uh-oh. The shoe fits. The cocktail dress fits. Hello, baby. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Got to tell you, there is some serious savings going on right now with AIS. Here's the deal. One call or a quick visit to AIS's website.
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Try one today. A little slowing due to an accident that was here earlier. You've got a delay on the 52 westbound from Santo Road all the way down to the ramp from the 125. And that's about 12 miles an hour. It's picking up a little bit. It was seven. On the 54 northbound Main Street, slow to Fury Lane, looking at speeds in the mid-30s in that area. This report brought to you by Point Loma Nazarene's University's MBA Night. Find out what an MBA from Point Loma Nazarene University can mean for you. Attend their MBA Information Night tomorrow night. RSVP now. Just call 619-563-2846 or you can visit pointloma.edu slash MBA. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a beautiful Monday morning brought to you by the shed where I'll be there all day long to talk to you about all your surfing needs. Stop on by and say hi. Surfwise this morning, looking pretty darn small. High pressure system still lays down upon us as weakening the already weak west-northwest ready wind-ground swell combo. Maybe a little trace of south underlying that, but not a whole lot of either swell directions. Looking at ankle knee-high waves on average, waist high with that rare plus at the areas most open to that swell mixture. Beach break's probably a bit more rideable as most reef breaks look pretty much dead flat. Clean conditions once again, clearing skies, offshore winds, just not a lot of ways to be shared.
For up-to-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com for surf or repair restoration needs. Go see a pal Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I know a lot of girly stuff. Woods. I've bathed myself in ranch. Lauren. I'm all about the discounts. Reviews. And Jake. Whenever I go to a party, I'll bring beer, but I bring beer for myself on FM 94.9. All a matter of opinion, but that's kind of the fun in it. See, sexy means that that name implies to you that she's not going to go home with you that night and there's going to be risky business. She's foxy, though. She's very pretty. But she's foxy and she's sexy. Like a Megan? That scrambled my brains. Megan is sexy? Is it? Yes. I think it's sexy. Boy, that's tough. Well, if your only guidelines are sexy or sexual, you got to go sexy on Megan, I think. Yeah. Okay. Are you in on that? Yeah. Melissa. Sexy or sexual? Sexy. Sexy. Sexy. Yeah. Lauren. Tough. No. Sexual. Sexual. What? Yes, there's no question.
Lauren. Just because you know me? No. It's the name. Yep. Lauren will wreck you. So my name is Lauren Renee, which means I've got two sexual names. Double down. Double down. Double down. Name fits. Yeah. Sharon. Pass. Camille. Sexual. Sexy. Dude. Wow. That's awful. That's mean. I've known some Foxy Camilles in my bed. Yeah, me too. Yeah, sexy. Andrea. Sexy. Sexy. No doubt. Andrea is a sexy name. We should do our wives' names. We should do our wives' names. I can't see Rebecca as being sexual. Like, it's too classy. It has that in my head. How about Becca? Oh, Becca. First of all, Becca lives in Nebraska. There's no doubt. Dirt McGirt. Real good. And she will dirt McGirt. Throw down.
Jamie. Sexual. Sexual. Yeah, I think so. Sexual. Sexual. Kim. Sexy. Sexy. It's too estately. It's very estately. Got one for you. What? Nicole. Oh. Sexual. Yes. Yes, I know. And even if it's Nikki. Sexual. Sexual. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Now, by the way, doesn't make these names bad. Not at all. No. Don't make these names bad. In fact. Either way. Could be great. Yeah. Madge. Gladys. Gladys. I got one for you. All right. This one's going to sprain your brain. Amanda. Sexy or sexual? Sexy. Sexy. It's so.
Sexy. It's sexy. Amanda, yeah. I feel like you guys are just basing this off of the past people you know. No, no, no, no. Let me explain it. Let me explain, Ella B, because as a listener, especially if you're one of these names, you're wondering, well, I don't get it. What's the basis? You're coming home from your first semester in college where you think you have found the love of your life. Or you're at a bar and it's 1030 at night and you think you found the love of your life. Right. Amanda. I think she's the girl that you bring home after the first... Oh, for sure. The college girl or at the bar? The one that you bring home and say, Mom, this is Amanda. Oh. Wait, you bring home that night? No, from college. Sexy. There's either bring home to mom after the first semester of college or 10.30 at night at the bar. Which you bring home that night. Right. What about Samantha? Sexual.
Real sexual. That's the name I always wanted. Samantha? I think it was from Who's the Boss. Oh, man. Well, that's Samantha. It's a Samantha. Samantha. And Angela. That's actually pronounced Samantha. Samantha. Samantha. Samantha is actually what it is. Samantha. Samantha. Where's Moner? Tell Moner to come down there now. Angela. 570-1949. Probably going to get calls from Samantha's and Amanda's. Mona's. Mona's. Hello, Mike. It's Mona. Quit talking crap about my name. You're talking about me. You're always talking. You're always talking, Mike. One in four guys have checked NFL scores in the bathroom. One in four. More than that. Four in four. Yeah. Of course. I think so. You guys bring your phone in there as reading material. It's the first thing I do when I have to go to the bathroom. Where's my phone? Yeah. Absolutely. And one in, or excuse me, 8% of guys have checked the score at church. What? How do you do that? What? You put it, you take the phone out of your pocket and you put it down like leg length. But there's people watching. Nah, they're singing. What if you do, not if you do it, if you're sitting next to your wife.
And you put it in between you and your wife. Nobody can see. God. God can see that. And he knows the score, my friend. He knows. That would be a great, that would be something Rebecca would say to me. No, God can see that. Yes. God can see. God can see that. How do you feel about that? Well, am I not interesting enough for you? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, this was a survey that they just did. It said that 82% of guys, 65% of women check NFL scores when they can't watch the game. One in four dudes in the bathroom, 12%. Check it at a wedding or their kid's school event. Is there something wrong with checking a game on your phone at a wedding? No. No. No, as long as you're not in the church. And as long as you're not holding it up so everybody sees it. But if you're being discreet. You slide. Church is no place for cell phones. It isn't? No, you sleep in the car. Oh, boy. I might have texted at church before. Oh. I might have. I might have. That's bad. It is? Well, how bad? You're going to have to answer for that. LLB, it's a sliding scale. We're going to have to answer for a lot worse than that. Well, I don't know. Well, I'm trying to put it in the bad category. It can't make that make sense. That's the worst etiquette I've ever heard. Oh, boy. Texting in church. You're supposed to be paying attention. I'm not going to make a show of it. I'm not going to make it so that everybody can see. It means your attention is diverted.
What are you there for if you need to be texting? It's got to be important. It's got to be an important text. It's got to be playoffs. Yeah, playoffs. Hour-long service. This mic from two people that have not been to church in forever. Except for Christmas. Except for Christmas. Or you're going to an uptight church. I brought my cell phone out at the end of church, and my dad smacked my hand and said, what's the matter with you? No cell phones in church. Catholic guilt. I used to get it when I was a kid. The Catholic guilt. I would get a spanking if we left and I was bad at church. If I was good, donuts. Makes a lot of sense. The priest had to say in the beginning of the service, turn off your cell phones. Come on, people. Boy, Mike, must have been good a lot. Yeah. 4% of Americans have checked.
their phones during a funeral. Oh, that's monstrous. How dare you? If you're discreet, does it matter? I changed my mind. That is the ultimate disrespect. Woods, and I mean this. I wouldn't mind if it were my own funeral and you checked your phone. In fact... That's an homage. Maybe Rebecca would mind. Maybe your kids would mind. I don't think that you're going to go. Maybe the grieving family would mind. It's an hour. It would L-O-B if you did this. Hey, Rebecca! I'm checking the score. She looks that from teary eyes, just looking out onto, look how many people loved my, oh, there's Woods on his phone. Yeah, Woods like this. Woods on his phone. Oh, yeah, look at that. Look, LOL. Distracted. Hey, he may be dead. He may be dead, but I still got a life I got. He's still got a life. I got to check my text. He's still got a thing going on. Life goes on after the service. LLB, I got to check my balance. I got to hit the bank after. You can check in at Mike's funeral later on. You don't have to do it on Facebook while you're at his funeral.
I'm at one of my loved one's funerals, and I ever look up and see someone on a phone, I'm going to stop the service and go, what's so important? Oh, you're that lady. Absolutely. I'm grieving. She'll do it. Well, I'm not messing with your grieving. Grieve away. Why do you have to shove your grieving down my throat? I'm trivializing my grief. Don't come. Can't I grieve the way I want to grieve? No. I grieve by checking my text messages. Not at my service, but I'm throwing. You're throwing. Go grieve at home with your pop chips and your... Sexting. You're sexting? Yeah, pervert. Get out of here. M1, Nathaniel from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead, Nathaniel. Hey, so I just wanted to say that occasionally my actor will actually ask us during the sermon to pull out our cell phones, think of somebody that we want to text, and then he'll tell us. what to write to them. Usually, you know, something like, hey, I'm praying for you or stuff like that. That's Pandora's box. And I guarantee you, like, half the people are checking scores or Facebook. They're not texting their loved ones. You're right. L.O.B. is 100% correct. Yeah. I ain't got a problem with it. Hey, can you put yourself... No, I'm still texting. I'm a slow texter. I have so many loved ones. I'm texting a bunch of loved ones right now. I'm capitalizing. I could see...
Where some people would think it's disrespectful to me, it's life. Yeah, it's life. Your life goes on. Life goes on. My phone's buzzing in my pocket. So kids in school should be able to text in, too, because their life goes on. Well, no, they're there to learn. Oh, you're there to learn at church? You're there to grieve. You're there to learn at church? Yeah, you're there to learn. Okay, wait a minute, though. At 42 years of age, I am able to discern the difference between this moment and that. At 17 years old... You're not. Correct. Able to discern. I think a 17-year-old might have more manners than you. Yeah. I think that might be true, but... More sense. You're there to learn. You're there to focus on what... And at a funeral, you're there to learn more about the person that just passed. And you're all supposed to be in the same moment. You're all supposed to be thinking and feeling. That's in perfect town. A wedding. You've been invited there because they want you to witness their special day. They could have chosen anyone. They chose you. You chose your phone. Well, they wanted a gift. As long as I don't know about it, I'm fine with it. I don't even care if I do know about it. You guys are clowns. Well, I think you're being rude if I know about it. If I know about it, you're being rude. Well, as soon as I see your head do this, your head dips down, and you're like... No, what if you're crying at the funeral? Oh, you're not crying. How do you know? I know you. You cry with a lit light on your face? Yeah, do you cry with the...
Amber illumination. With a blue hue on your face. From ESPN Sports. As I'm grieving, you hear, na-na-na, na-na-na. Oh, God. Oh, God. 100% chance that would happen to Woods. Oh, yeah. A video. Rivers drops back to back. I'm like, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. I would shoot him a look. We wouldn't be friends anymore. Yes, we would. If you were at a funeral of someone that I loved and that happened. No longer a friend. Well, now, LLB, I can only be myself. I can cut people out real good. 4% of people, LLB, admit. And that's just the ones that admit it. Most people don't deserve friends. 4% of people will do that at a funeral. That's a strong take. It's a very strong take. You know where she stands on it. You won't be my friend. Check her. In her defense, she doesn't even text people back. when she's not at a funeral or in church or at a wedding. If I'm at a meal with somebody, if I'm driving, then guess what? If I'm in Target. Bad news for Woods over the weekend. There may not be semi-professional baseball much longer. There will not be. For you. What happened? The league went out of business? They lost... Strike. Are you guys on strike?
No, we are not on strike. Is there a fight between the players and the management? No, we are not on strike. Union. No, our unions are not bickering. Is there a stadium issue? No, we have several stadiums. What are you guys holding out for? What's that? What are you holding out for? I'll let Mike tell you. They lost their sponsor, the Tipsy Crows. That's true. You, L.O.V., you monster. You're a monster. Now you're a pay-to-play. They are officially an adult little league. Oh, no. I don't know what I'm going to do. Oh, you got to find a sponsor. I know. We're working on it. What are your fans going to do? I know, man. Hey, and by the way, what do you tell your season ticket holders? Yeah. They just got their jerseys. I have my jersey that says Woods on the back. And on the front of it says the Tipsy Crows. And now what? Now what am I going to do? Where am I going to wear that?
Gosh darn it. You could wear it to the Tipsy Crow, but even if you wore it to the Tipsy Crow, some smartass is going to walk up to you at the bar and go, Hey, haven't you heard? Yeah. Didn't you hear? Don't you read the papers? Don't you read the papers? They just wear white and green now. Yeah, just white and green? White and green. Well, listen, if Chico's Bail Bonds or anybody like that is out there. So they weren't getting the return on their investment that they thought they were going to get from sponsoring your Little League team? Well, that's the deal. When you sponsor... team, your hope is that it translates back to business. And you want championships. You require championships. We have not delivered. You require a championship. Now, if you're a championship team, you don't mind shelling out the $14.50 that it will take to fund... $7 a game, actually, is what we worked out. That's per person, L-O-B. Because the uniform, after you divide it... So the champions are sponsored, then? Actually, no, they are not. That's it, man. Game over, man. But our guy, our guy, our guy at the Tipsy Crow, from what I hear secondhand, was a little upset that we didn't go there after our games to have food and drinks. Yeah. Well, maybe you could be the silk soy milk. Yeah. The silkers. The silkers. They could be Ray's taco stand. Exactly. Rodolfo's. The Rodolfo's. Snow cone. Tampax.
As long as they're paying. Yeah. Hey, if Tampax wants to pay, we'll be the tampons. Oh, my God. He just said that. I'm keeping him on record. We will be the tampons. I will chip in for that if anybody else wants to get some money in for that. Someone know anyone over at Tampax. Can you imagine? I come in on Monday. I'm like, well, the tampons had a big win yesterday. Marlins. I would not want to be on the uniform selection committee for that. Oh, boy. Just awful. I'm very upset about it, and it's very sad. It's devastating. But life goes on, and we will find a new sponsor. You mark my words. Oh, man. You bet. I am really upset. I don't know what I'm going to do with that jersey now. I'm going to look like an idiot. All those poor fans. Yeah, exactly. They're going to have to get used to it. I have a ball cap with it on there. They're going to have to get used to us not being the crows. What about my giant foam finger? I got a giant foam finger for you real good. Okay. It's right here. Which is number one. I have the top five things that men wish women wore more often. And we'll give it to you. And it's going to surprise you next.
Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. Excellent job. Huh? Mikey. 570-1949. Ha, ha, ha. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Between Toyota, the official vehicle of Supercross. Don't miss your chance to meet the riders and get their autographs. Stop by any Smart and Final location and pick up your can of Monster Energy to recycle at the pit entrance for your free admission to the pit party. Smart and Final, the smaller, faster warehouse. Get your tickets at Ticketmaster. Participating Yamaha dealers. Tickets subject to convenience and handling charges. All $65 more day on show. February 11th. Walk on City in Manor Shine. Years, there have been some things in your life that were simply phases. Trends and passing fancies. Like your leather pants phase. Or your passion for hacky sack. Or your crazy sweater collection. But there are other things in life that are really worth keeping up. Like saving for your retirement. So, when you're ready to start something great that you can really stick with...
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It's thicker. It's stronger. The split ends and the dryness are gone. Woods, I see your wife has been using Ovation. She looks amazing. Absolutely. My hair is healthy again, and yours can be too. Get the Valentine's Day gift set or any of the Ovation products by logging on to OvationHair.com, and remember to select FM949 at checkout, and you're going to receive a special introductory discount. That's right. It's OvationHair.com, and remember to enter FM949 at checkout. This is a limited time offer, so you're going to want to act while supplying. hurry log on to ovationhair.com now hey buddy down here in the cup holder yeah it's us you spare change now look this might seem strange but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about we want you to drive to mickey d's right now and use us on something delicious like one of those two for three fifty deals they got going on Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary.
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all the way from the 54 East to 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard. This report brought to you by Pro Nutrients. New Pro Nutrients, a line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum, help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. I had my monitors down. That means I couldn't hear anything. And all of a sudden Jay goes, hey, we're back. Are y'all? What's going on, Woods, with Alden Smith? Yeah, San Francisco 49ers linebacker Alden Smith was charged on Saturday with driving under the influence in Miami Beach. He's drowning his sorrows down there. He's a really good player, man. He had 14 sacks, franchise record for a rookie linebacker. He's one of their absolute studs. I got him a DUI down in Miami Beach. Miami Beach will get you if you're drowning your sorrows down there. Don't drive. This story may make you a little sick to your stomach. You guys remember Pat Tillman? Yeah. He was NFL. He left the NFL. Friendly fire. Yeah, he went to be an Army Ranger. A gentleman named Jerry Martin.
bought his game-worn cleats years ago. Now he is selling them on eBay and is asking $3.2 million for Pat Tillman's cleats. You guys want to know what the highest bid is so far? $7,000. And he goes, well, I'm not selling these for under seven figures. Oh, wow. Wow. Somebody wrote him, an eBayer from Delaware said, you should be ashamed of yourself. The fact that you're trying to profit from this story and you think people would actually pay, that makes you an idiot and a complete expletive. I agree. As do I. It's creepy. That's creepy. That's creepy. I think if you bought them for yourself to have, that's okay. You bought them at an auction. They were obviously up for auction, but then to turn around and sell it on eBay, you're a clown. Yeah. It's creepy. Jerry Martin. So I'm going to tell you what these things that men... wish that women would wear more. And they're normal things. It's not what you think. And it's true. Speaking of what women should wear, Lauren O'Brien, the foxy blonde here, is going to be at the House of Blues on February 17th, live broadcast. We're going to be celebrating the woman's figure. Yeah. Right near Valentine's Day. All the curves. Oh, yeah.
And LOB is going to be dancing on stage, pussycat doll style, with a bunch of girls. Yes. I can't wait. It's going to be phenomenal, and it's going to be sexy, and it's going to be something you want to see live. It's going to be free. Yeah, it's free. That's always a good word. It's going to be free. Yeah, people were asking me how much tickets were. Free. Well, we need to pack that place. Get down there, take the day off now. It's Friday, February 17th. Bring it. It's going to be a good day. Mimosas. Yeah. Come check out our girl, L-O-B, shaking. Well, more importantly, the rest of the girls. And the rest of the girls. Yeah. Shaking the gift. There were some dimes up there. Yeah, there were some dimes up there. Oh, my gosh. Quarters. Speaking of dimes and quarters, this is what guys wish that women would wear more often. Jeans and tank tops. Check. Guys love jeans and tank tops. Let them all hang out. And when you think about it, here's why. I would have his mic off right now, but I don't have the ability to. Yeah, you're not allowed to. The reason that jeans and tank tops make sense is because they're form-fitting. Guys like to see what a woman's body is shaped like. A tank top accomplishes this, so do jeans. I have another caveat to that, too. I think that also it means she's pretty laid back and cool. Low maintenance. Low maintenance, yeah.
A hundred percent. It's my go-to outfit, so I guess it makes sense. The jeans and the tank top. You are low-maintenance and cool. I'll give you that, Ella. That is a true thing. And now, Ella B. could qualify for the next one, too. The librarian look. Ladies, ladies, listen, ladies. Do not underestimate the power of the librarian look. And maybe women think to themselves. See, because women have these ideas of what they think, we think, is. Sexy. I'm telling you, we like the librarian look. Pencil skirt, heels, glasses. I don't have glasses anymore because I got my vision corrected with Dr. Sandy T. Felton. You could wear fake ones though. You have a photograph of yourself wearing fake glasses. Sure, and I look like a moron. You don't look like a moron. You're a sexy moron. There's no lenses in them. They didn't have lenses in them. If they had lenses in them, she wouldn't look like a moron. People who wear fake glasses, come on. It looks...
Sexy. Oh, yeah. We love that look. A little bun at the top of the head with the glasses on. Forget it. Just pull it out and let it flow down. That's right. Especially if you're 89 years old and your name is Rose. And your hair is white. And it's just white hair that billows down over your naked breasts. And it goes down to your belly button. Like in the movie Titanic. And you're doing an Abriva commercial. What? A cocktail dress. Yeah. Men love the cocktail dress. Now, it's not why you think. It's not why you think. The reason that we love a cocktail dress isn't just because it's shorter. It's what it says about you. A full-length dress makes you look more sophisticated, but a cocktail dress makes you look fun. I like seeing that. Cocktail. Yes. Cocktails. Relax. This next one does not apply to me.
There are men that find this attractive. I do not. Sports jerseys. The girls' sports jerseys. There are some guys that are into that. It's not my flavor, but that's fine. What if they're just wearing a sports jersey? That's different. Oh, yeah. That I'm in on. I agree with you. If I see her in jeans and a sports jersey, wait. I just changed my mind. I don't like the female sports jersey. That's just not my... And listen, I'm not criticizing it. I'm just saying it's not my flavor. It's not your taste. I have one. but it's a Brian Westbrook jersey, and he's not on the Eagles anymore. And I have it hanging in my closet, and I thought, I think I may have outgrown the female sports jersey. Well, and it may be that you wear the female sports jersey just because you're trying to support your team. You're not trying to be sexy, and it's not about being sexy. But there are some guys who do find that particular thing. To be sexy. I like it. What about the painted on? Like, just painted on jerseys? Yeah, I mean, if you're nude and you paint on a jersey. Well, I wouldn't be completely nude. I'd wear undies. Yeah, topless. Yeah, you would wear underwear. And then they would paint on a jersey. And you paint it on, like, a Washington Redskins or, you know, a Miami Dolphins jersey. I'm in. Some guys think that that's hot. Now, the fifth one is not my style either. Doesn't make it bad.
It just means it's not something that I go, oh, that's hot and sexy. The yoga outfits. You don't think that's sexy? No. It is so sexy. Farty. I think it's farty. You're out of your gourd. The tight black pants. No. Yoga pants. There's a whole website dedicated to women wearing yoga pants. Yeah, the black stretchy pants. To me, you know what it means? It means she's been out walking and exercising. Oh, yeah, because we hate that. Why are you repelled against fitness? It isn't that. Why do you want everybody to be obese? She's walking around. She's been walking on Mission Bay for an hour and a half. You think that's what we do when we go on walks? Yeah, I do. I do. We stare it all out? I think that when you're on walks, that's the time. No. They're getting firm. There's no one around, and so you're like... Not in a yoga class. You're accountable. You can't just... Yeah, but that's when you're wearing the yoga pants to yoga. Yeah, that's what the yoga pants are for. I understand, but aren't yoga pants also for going to the mall? Because you see women at the mall all the time wearing yoga pants. It's sexy. I saw a couple, I hope my wife's not listening, at the grocery store yesterday. Yeah. Hallelujah. Very pleased to see. When I see them, I go, oh, look at those. Those probably look like a cigarette test if you... Think about it, Jay.
Thinking about it. That's disgusting. This filter filters out more. We can say that about any pair of pants. Can you? Any pair of pants. I'm sorry if I've put that thought into your head. You can say that about panties then. Don't say panties. You know what that word skeeves? Nothing. Panties. Skeeves. Oh, it's out. Especially with the hard T in it. Are you out on panties? I'm all in on panties. What about panties? I'm not. Pantaloons. I don't get that visual when I think about panties. What's your problem with panties? They're a catch-all. Oh, God. Panties doesn't skeeve me out. What about lacy panties? I hate panties so much. What about boy short panties? Boy shorts I like. Granny panties. What about, like, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday panties? Don't say panties.
What about thong panties? I'm fine with those. Lacy panties? I don't know. Underwear? Cotton panties. Underwear. Undies? Undies is fine. Undies is filthy. Little kids wear undies. Undies is disgusting. Grundies. You don't think it's sexy that a girl's wearing a pair of panties? No. I don't like that word. Panties is sexy. Panties. Panties. Let's see. This is something that I decided to give to you as an extra treat today as an M1. If you're an M1, you're a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn the radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. Giving this to you as an extra treat. It is Nicolas Cage. And Nicolas Cage was promoting his new movie. He was at a UK radio station. And he read the lyrics to LMFAO's.
sexy and i know it i'm sexy and i know it check it out check it out wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah wiggle wiggle wiggle wig yeah wig yeah do the wiggle man i do the wiggle man yeah i'm sexy and i know it i yeah Save that clip. Yeah, save so many of those. Yeah, there's a lot in there. Oh my gosh. Creep just oozes from his voice. I'm sexy and I love it. I hate that guy's voice. Oh, it's so weird. It's so weird. I'm not a Nicolas Cage guy. Me neither, really. We wanted to ask our listeners, is anyone listening that has a I shouldn't be alive moment? It's like that TV show, I Shouldn't Be Alive, where something crazy has happened where there is no way that you should have survived it, but you did. If you have one of those, we want to hear from you. 570-1949. No, it doesn't mean that you ran out of gas one time. It means that you ran out of gas somewhere. In an airplane. Crazy. In an airplane. Yeah. I have one to start at, which I think people can top.
Go ahead, Ella B. Mine was just a car accident where the girl hit me, and I went from one lane, I went from her hitting me into the center divide of the 8 freeway, then back across, got hit by another car. So I got hit by her, the wall, and another car, and my car landed right before people were coming onto the 8. Oh, wow. Like literally right on the line there. And somehow there were not a bunch of cars coming. And you didn't get hurt or killed. No. I didn't, and if you look at the car. Well, obviously she didn't get killed. She got killed. But if you look at the car, it's like. She's a ghost. She's a ghost. There's just around my seat is like the only protected area, and the whole rest of the car got, it was a little hatchback Hyundai, and it got like crumpled. Yeah, that's crazy. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that is a shouldn't be alive. Yeah. I got, I was down in Estapa, and I was watching them paraglide. Estapa now. And I was watching them paraglide, or hang glide, whatever's behind the boat with the parachute. Parasailing. Parasailing. And I watched it all day. My wife's like, oh, let's not do it. You know, I was like, oh, I really want to do it. Went out there, got on it. The guy showed me real quick on how to put it on. Everything's put it on. Take off. I'm going with the wind. I'm pretty high up. I'm like, oh, this is cool. Yeah. As soon as we turn around to come back in the wind, my straps break. My chute wraps. Oh, my gosh. I am taller than a eight story building. Oh, my gosh. And I free fall down, hit the water. Bam.
Hit the water. One strap is kind of still connected, and it drags me. I'm probably 30 feet underwater. You're behind the boat. I'm behind the boat. Oh, my gosh. I'm dragging now underwater. He has no clue? I'm deep down. No, he's just. Dude, that would have been on one of those shows. Oh, yeah. 100% during those, you know. something attack, like vacations attack or something like that? Finally, it snapped completely off, and I'm down there, and I look up, and I am way underwater. And so then I'm trying to figure out how to undo all the straps to get my parachute off so I can make it to the surface. As soon as I finally figured out, I get to the surface. The boat had pulled back around. He was like, you broke, you pay. Oh, my God. You broke. You're crazy. You broke. You pay. Yeah. I slit your throat. Yeah. Yeah. I was so angry. And then I had to swim back. It was like they had the red flag warnings up. Had to swim back through the surf. It was like, you know, 12 foot surf that day. And it's just like pounding. He got me as close as he could. See ya. Oh. All right. I guess I'm swimming back through the surf. Yeah.
Oh, my gosh. A nightmare. When you were coming down, did you think to yourself, these are my final moments? I had a split second. I thought, okay, cross your arms, point your feet, and stay as straight as you can. And I thought, sure, I'm going to hit bottom. Oh, yeah. Break your legs right now. But the shoot kind of wrapped. It was wrapped. So it was just enough to keep it from, you know, just. Killing me, I guess, because I dropped it forever. Oh, my God. I was on a TV show called ABC's Wipeout, and they shot me out of this long tube. That's how I know you. You're wood. Yeah, you're wood. ABC's Wipeout. Then I had to get on something called the Iron Mazin. Oh, gosh. And I got a concussion, and I vomited six times. And they said they've never seen that much vomit from one person. They didn't say that. You should have died. I should have died. It's funny. The little girl who did it the next week, the 18-year-old little girl. You're such a cruel. Jay, they slow it down for them. You know it. You know it to be true. I think it's like velocity. It's like how much you weigh. That's true. That is true. Oh, my gosh. Speed. I'm here. Thank God. M1 Paul from Escondido. How did you almost die? Jay, you're a gnarly robot. I was supposed to say you're gnarly. That's ridiculous. Anyways, so I was stillborn, and my mom was in labor for $14. How are you here? How are you here?
I don't know, man. I was dead for five minutes. They wanted to give my mom an injection for the pain, and they think later on that the injection might have hit my brain, because as soon as he gave me the injection, I was dead. Really? So when you were born, there was no heartbeat on you? No heartbeat. Oh, my gosh. And it took five minutes, but then finally you were revived. Yeah, I came, too. My dad was a nurse, and he was actually there and just gave me CPR until I started breathing. Holy cow. I was purple when I came out the whole bit. I was done. No way. Dude, that's gnarly. You literally shouldn't be alive. And you are. Miracle. Probably shouldn't be. That's insane. Thank you for the call. Thank you for the call. Glad you're around. If we need some levity, the levity could be the fact that when Jay said that this happened to him in Estapa. Estapa. Lauren O'Brien, our friend, screamed out. You a stop-a it. Yeah. And I'm the one accused of doing dad jokes. You a stop-a that. You a stop-a that. Right now. You a stop-a. You a stop-a. You a stop-a that. Am I wrong? Isn't it Ixtapa? I think it's Ixtapa. Yeah, you think, but you don't know. I thought it was Ixtapa. I believe it's I-X-T-A. Ixtapa. It is. Ixtapa. I was down there in Ixtapa. Hey. Ixtapa. Hey. Yes?
Well, Mike, you're going to stop at a show just to make fun of one word that I'm in wrong. Sorry. Sorry, I'm not from there. M1 Angela from Santee. Angela from Santee. Go ahead. The year is like 1989, and I owned a Pontiac Fiero. Nice. And I'm driving. I lived in New Jersey at the time, which tells a lot about this story. I'm sitting in Labor Day. weekend traffic. And I look behind me and I see flames shooting out the back of the Fiero. You remember those Fierros? The engines were in the back. Oh my gosh. So I'm in all the way to the left. Nobody would let me over. Oh, boy. And the car's on fire, and they won't let you over. We're going to the shore. We're going to the shore. Welcome to Jersey. I'm in New Jersey. And then you would think people would say to me, excuse me, your car is on fire. Right. Nothing. Hey, Tony, look at that border. The car's on fire. The car's on fire. Don't make you special. You wait like everybody else. Hey, Tony, a freaking car with freaking Fiero's on fire. It's hysterical. That's a Fiero on fire.
It haunts at me, you know, trying to get over. Get out of the way! You're on fire. What's the matter with you? Over to the shoulder. I finally make it over to the shoulder. I, you know, fling the door open, and I think for a second, what do I want to grab out of this car real quick? And I grabbed, like, some CDs, and I had, like, a jean jacket. Of course. 1989. 1989 in New Jersey. In Jersey. Yeah, there you go. And I grabbed the jacket as soon as I ran, like, a little bit up the embankment. The car seriously blew up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Within three seconds, this car just exploded. And, you know, it was like all fiberglass and everything. And there was nothing left but the axle. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Did you catch her name, by the way? Angela. Angela. Angela, get your jean jacket. Angela. Angela, get out of the way. You ruined my Fiero. Hey, did you get the Hooters CD out of the front? The freaking Hooters. Thank you for the call.
Dang. It's 1989. Haven't you always wanted to see a car blow up? I never have, and I've always wanted to see it. I want to see it. Not with someone in it. Right. This is going to be a crazy story from M1 Termite Finder in La Mesa. Are you there? I am. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. This is going to be crazy. Go ahead. Yeah, this is a little bit crazy. I used to live in Texas, and I owned a bar. And Mardi Gras in Galveston is about almost as big as New Orleans. There's a lot of people. It's not a four-hour event like we have here. It's crazy there. Well, my buddy left the credit card at the bar, had to go back and get it. So I went to go use the restroom. And on my way back, I walked in between two cars that heard this loud hissing sound. So I looked down, and there's a guy. Slashing car tires. Actually, there's a whole bunch of kids. It turns out they were the local members of the Crips. Well, they thought it would be funny since Galveston's an island to slash all kinds of cars, tires. Crips. Without me even saying anything, a little 15-year-old kid. This was 93. I was in my mid-20s. What are you looking at? He pulls out a 38, points it at my head, and pulls the...
So wait a minute. So when he pulls the trigger on your head, it misfires. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Eight years? About 80 years. Yeah, he should put him away. Wait, wait, wait. I got a question. I got a question. Yes, sir. How were they able to catch him? When he fired the shot, they all took off running. Well, I'm a big believer in this also. Off-duty cops cannot carry their weapons at Delmar, which just drives me crazy. An off-duty police officer heard the gunshot. All these kids came running around the corner. He caught the slowest runner. Well, one of my girls that worked for me, her boyfriend was an off-duty police officer, happened to be in the hospital walking down the hallway. I yelled, John. John came in and was talking to me when the sheriff's deputy came in to interview me. And the sheriff's deputy told my buddy John, who was on duty at the time, they caught one of them. And my buddy said, well, tell him that he had been identified as the shooter.
Well, you could hear the kid in the background. Oh, heck no, I didn't shoot that man. Wendell Burleson shot that man. They always turn on each other. Yeah, they told him you could identify as a shooter. You were there. And so because of that, I've always been a big believer that these law enforcement officers, you know, you arrest somebody and you're out in Del Mar and the guy's out of jail and now you're with your family and you don't have a firearm to protect you or anything like that. Just because of that one circumstance with me, I'm grateful that off-duty officers are allowed to carry their weapons. And, you know, there are people that are listening right now that may not know what you're talking about, so I'll fill them in. It's a policy at the fairgrounds that even off-duty police officers cannot conceal and carry. And, you know, it's something that obviously the police officers are upset about because they want to be, they don't know. Who's there? And, you know, I would trust an off-duty police officer to have a weapon on them. But, you know. But a cop can't carry an off-duty weapon. Yeah. Yeah. What a story. Hey, dude, that is an unbelievable story. Do you remember hearing the click? I watched the barrel rock. I watched, I heard the click, watched the...
Oh, my God. So it was a revolver. That's why he should be put away. How did they not put him away? How long ago was it? 1993. The maximum he could have gotten was 10 years for attempted murder in Texas. So we plea bargained because I told Maggie Hinman, the prosecutor, I said, you know, I respect the guys that I fought against in the military, but I have no respect for this kid. It's going to be a bad situation. How long did he serve the whole eight? He served the whole eight because his court-appointed attorney did not know about the new law that had just been passed. If you commit a violent crime in Texas, you don't get good time. You don't get parole. You do all of it. So they thought by pleading aid, he would probably do half of it and get out well. At 15 years, by then he was 16. When he turned 17, he went into Huntsville State Prison. Huntsville is not a good place you want to be when you're 15 years old. So he turned, you know, he did his full eight years. And it's kind of a bummer because I look back and they actually asked me to help rehabilitate him. And I had so much anger in my heart. And then I hadn't read the book about Ronald Reagan yet.
was worried about the guy that shot him instead of himself. And I wish I would have had that compassion because, but at the same time, I hated the kid. He pointed a gun at him. Yeah. He shot your legs. He wanted you dead over something so stupid. Yeah. Well, wait a minute. I don't want to miss the bigger point. This guy, we can all talk about what it would be like to have somebody point a .38 at your head and pull the trigger and say, yeah, I wouldn't forgive that guy. This guy. has actually had somebody point of 38 at him and pull the trigger. And his regret is that he hadn't tried to rehabilitate that kid. I spent a year in a cat up to my leg, up to my thigh. I was in wheelchairs, parked the handicapped spots, which is another thing. I'm fully recovered, you know, but... You know, the other thing I learned from that is, man, don't park in a handicapped spot unless you need it. That's right. I've been there. And don't live in Texas. Hey, do you forgive the guy? I do. I think he was high on crack and he was drinking wine coolers and he was 15 years old. That'll make you crazy, cracking wine coolers. I've never forgotten it. I'll never see the kid again, but I forgave him a long time ago. I've moved on. I like that.
I like that. Great story. Hey, thanks for the call, man. I appreciate it. Crazy. Wow. I don't think you can outdo that one. No. I don't think you can outdo the 38. Jeez. When we come back, I don't know how you top that one. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9. Supported by AIS Insurance. What's up there, chicken wing? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. This Friday night, head to 4th and be for Mute Math. You can see Dr. Dog at the belly up on the 7th. FM 94.9 presents Young the Giant at Soma on the 10th. The Fray Playhouse of Blues on the 16th. Craig Finn of the Hold Steady's at the Casbah on the 19th. And Ra Ra Riot hits the belly up February 22.
And still to come, shows from Flogging Molly and Lagwagon and Pussifer. Also, Portugal the Man, Tiger Army, Rise Against, Elvis Costello, and Ward with Firehost. FM 94.9 presents Toon Yards in St. Vincent, Madness, Buzzcocks, and Two Weekends of Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there and... Whoa, you smell good. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. The Vons Pharmacy is putting out the welcome mat, and it stretches from one end of the Vons parking lot all the way to the other. That's what we do. And if you're an Express Scripts plan member from Walgreens who's looking for a new home, we welcome Express Scripts. Plus, you'll get a $25 reward coupon when you transfer your prescriptions to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll do all the work to make transferring easy. How's that for a warm welcome? The Vons Pharmacy is your one stop for wellness. We have everything from immunizations to prescriptions all right here. Plus, you'll get the experience and friendly professional service we're known for. That's like getting a welcome mat and a giant red carpet. Make the switch to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll make you feel right at home. Vons, ingredients for life.
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This report is brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It's so fast, accurate, and easy, and it's affordable. You'll love it. A must-have for any household, especially if you've got kids. The Exergen Temporal Thermometer. Get yours at Costco and other fine retailers today. Lots of slowing on this map this morning. The 5 northbound from 7th Street all the way down to the 54 east between 19 and 24 miles an hour. Looks like we've got a stalled vehicle here on the 8 eastbound before Fairmont Avenue. Another problem on the 8 eastbound before... college avenue then la mace is a tough drive on the eight westbound is going to take you some time from college avenue to jackson drive between 19 and 25 miles an hour this report it's also brought to you by subway February is back at Subway restaurants. Any regular footlong and $5 footlong starting at 7 a.m. Come in and get the Italian BMT, turkey breast, bacon, egg, and cheese, or any other regular footlong for only $5. Hurry in before February is gone. Subway, eat fresh. I'm Stacey. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. I just try not to be.
A dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. I want to see you at House of Blues, Friday, February 17th. Doing a live broadcast out there. LLB is going to be dancing. Pussycat doll style. Yeah. With a bunch of other girls, and it's going to be great. A bunch of foxes. Hey, L.O.B., I think you're going to do two dances, you said. We need to talk to the choreographer, but we'd like to do one earlier in the day and then at the very end of the day. Yeah, we're going to do one early. How about that girl, man? You got my vote. Finale it up. Maybe even a costume change. Whoa. Easy, Sheriff. Look at that. And in addition, there's going to be a drag race. Woods and Jay are going to be in drag.
Racing each other. I think it'd be better if you and Woods were in drag. No, it was your idea. It was your idea. Well, I thought my idea was for you guys. No. That's not what you said. And then Mike will say no to that, and then I'll have to do it. Here's the reason why I shouldn't do it. I actually look good as a woman. It'd be better to have husky women. It's hard to make me look bad, Mike, even in high heels and a dress. Nothing funnier than two husky women. Bottom line is. Continue. Mike won't do it. I'll have to put on some lipstick. It means I get to. And then I'll just get hit on. That's right. It's not even funny. It's just weird. My wife has already volunteered to put makeup on Jay and I that morning. So she's going to make us all doll us up a real good. Nice. I can't wait. Oh, my gosh. I wonder who will be the better looking woman. Who will be prettier? You know, I have longer eyelashes than Jay, but I also have a double chin. Are we looking at just the face or the body? Well, my legs aren't bad. We're looking at the personality. You have nicer breasts. Oh, that's true. You have natural breasts. That's true. I do have natural breasts. Natural. Yeah, but I think that men will prefer, if men prefer younger women, they'll go for woods. Right, because I'm younger. Jay's going to look like an old woman. I wonder if you'll be able to see the outline of his thin dong through his skirt, too.
My panties. Through his panties. Oh, boy. Do we have to wear panties? I'm not wearing panties. Pantyhose. I'm wearing boxers. I won't do it unless we do thongs or boy shorts. I already bought one. Yeah, I got them already. Got them at home. I'm putting them on. I'll bring my kit. Oh, no. My kit. I'm doing full mascara. Eyelashes. Kim, where's my kit? Where's the kit? You know what I'm talking about. It's called my Bell kit. You make me look like a girl named Bell. Oh, boy. Oh. Drag race. Perfect. In high heels. I'm going to snap my ankle in half. Is it going to be really sexy if I have an ankle brace on with high heels? Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. I cannot wait. Oh, I cannot wait. Jay has. It was Jay's. Jay comes up. Yes. Emphatic. Drag race. No! I'm doing Drag Race Black. He has two ideas. Either great ideas or what we call Jay's bad idea of the week. Like Jay. Oh, God. This is a great idea. I already know what you're talking about. That's really great. Hey, y'all. What if we do a poll? This is for real. This is true. What if we do a poll for? Jay, what's a poll? A poll. What's a poll? Like a swimming poll.
Oh, a pool. That's what I said, a pool. Okay, so we'll do a pool. Yeah, swimming pool. Okay, sorry. Oyster. Oyster. He wanted to do a pool like on the Super Bowl, but instead of that, it would be when L.O.B. will get married or engaged. Engaged. Yeah, we could all make some money off this. And we will guess when her boyfriend will pop the question. Dates. Yeah. But Jay, what about in the event? I mean, just preparing for everything. Right. What if he doesn't do it, you know, like within a certain amount of time? What if he doesn't do it at all? Okay. Within the year. We could do a year. Or maybe five years. Or not at all. He is a monster. Yeah. That's hilarious. It's my...
Like a lead balloon. It went over like a lead balloon. I'm not the one who's not proposing, so I'm just putting a pool together. So it's my life, Jay. I'm the one on the show. I know, and so a little bit of us can have fun with it. Don't take bets. Listen, mine is September 2, 2017. What? You know, sometimes your friend not getting engaged and wanting to is just not funny. Well, maybe you shouldn't. Profit from it. Right. We should take bets on when Jay's testosterone runs out. Although that may have already passed. Never. This is how it went down in the meeting when he proposed it. Mike and I went, yes, dead silence. And he looked at both of us like, what? What? Waiting for us to be like, oh, yeah, that's good. That's a great idea. Let's take bets. Crickets, my friend. Absolutely. You guys used to be so much fun. Crickets. Oh, gosh. Let's do a poll about when L.O.B.'s egg will dry up. Oh, my God. What? Let's do a poll on when one of Jay's test results will come back with something abnormal on it. That's hilarious. Because that's funny. When the proctologist says you need to come back in. Let's do a bet on that. It's not going to happen. It's my life. Let's do a poll of...
Which testicle will find a lump on, Jay? Yeah. First. First. See, that's just bad, though. See, that's bad news. Yeah, y'all, that's bad taste. We know it's going to happen. I mean, he's going to put a ring on it. I mean, he's got to, right? Don't we have to break? Digging. Are we, like, way late? Digging. I actually... I think maybe Jay has dementia. Maybe that's why he forgot to tell you to break. We should take... Hey, we should take a pool on when he forgets his address. Oh, wait. We're breaking, like, four hours early here. Okay. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Are you interested in learning how to make thousands of dollars each week with your own online business? If so, we have an amazing opportunity for you. We're looking for a small group of motivated individuals who would love to start an online business and get paid to learn the process. Hi, my name's Ralph Plum.
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This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. Well, it looks like we've got a lot of slowing here on the 8 westbound. Not quite as bad as it was earlier. Texas Street, Qualcomm, way down to about Lake Murray, 70th Street, 3840 miles an hour. Also, as you travel this morning onto the 805 northbound, you're going to find some backup from 32nd Street, Adams Avenue to the 15 north. And things are getting a little better here this morning as you travel on the 5 northbound, the 15 north to 9th Street Plaza Boulevard. The speeds are about 35 miles an hour. This report, it's brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance with round-the-clock roadside assistance. They're one call away, always 1-800-640-2920. Get a quote at wawanisaus.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Sorry, it has a slow fade in. Sorry about that. Welcome back. It's a Mikey Show. Miley Cyrus blasted by conservative group for disgusting behavior. What is this?
Have you not heard what she did? No. She had a birthday. It was her birthday party. And somebody got her a cake. Yeah. And this cake, Mike, I think the best way to put this, phallic, very phallic and with all of the fixings. Got it. If you know what I mean. I do. If you catch my dread. I catch all the accoutrements. I catch your dread. Of said phallus. She then proceeded to position herself in such a manner that would make her look like she was doing something. Oh, boy. Not smart. That our wives made in the privacy of our own home. Yeah, so what?
Miley, you can't do that. Miley, you can't do that. Why? I'm all grown up. You can't do that, though. Why? You're only 19. And you're Hannah Montana. You're not supposed to be. I'm not Hannah Montana. You're not my dad. I know I'm not your dad. My dad is way richer than you. I know he is, but that doesn't mean that you're. People know who he is. Listen, Miley Cyrus. You can't just go taking pictures like that. Oh, I can do whatever I want. I know you're grown up. I'm all grown up. You're 19. Have you seen all the pictures of me with see-through shirts on? I have. That's right. I'm making a statement. There's only one guy that's seen that. Oh, man. It's Jay. Did you like it? No. Well. Not so much. Not so much. Should I show a boar skin? It's not about that. I'm all grilled up, Mike. Yeah, but you need some more growing. You're not going to convince anybody you're on. Party at the USA. Yeah. You just, you may want to, you may want to use your head a little bit. And chill out. Excuse me, Mr. Woods. Yes? Yes. Would you not do the same thing in front of that case? Yeah, I would, but I'm not world famous. And he's not Hannah Montana either. I'm not Hannah Montana anymore. I'm Miley Cyrus. I know you are, Miley. I'm not world famous. I'm so different with these things. You're not. Not even close. You're not even sponsored by a baseball team anymore. It's a true story, kids. Hey, listen. Miley Cyrus actually got you there. You're not sponsored by a place anymore. I can do what I want.
That's right. Apparently so. She could play on an adult Little League team, too. That's right. Enjoy your wiener cake, then. Oh, I did. I know you did. I've got plenty of leftovers, too. I bet you want some of that. There you go. It's thin and gray and white. I think it belongs to Jay. It's got to be Jay. The cake was actual size. No, it was not. Well, then it would look like this highlighter pen. Yeah, that's not even enough to fit. That's too thick. It's not belly. Too thick. How about this? This is a ballpoint pen. That's too long. At least mine is usable, guys. I want more than just a mouthful. Have you ever seen a really cooked turkey dog? If you left it on the grill for too long. Overcooked turkey dog. That is absolutely disgusting. Well, that's Jay. Unfortunately, that's Jay, Miley. That's our friend Jay. That's an older guy named Jay. Imagine that tasteless thing. in a nest of cotton. If the cotton was gray cotton, it was unprocessed gray cotton. Imagine if they didn't process gray cotton. And a lot of it. A lot of it. Just fat. Imagine Serbian. Imagine a Serbian.
cotton field with unpolished cotton in it. With an overcooked turkey duck. Imagine an unusable hot dog. That sounds disgusting. That sounds absolutely disgusting. Why leave this gross? It's the grossest thing. It's in a Serbian cotton field. I don't think I might remain a virgin if that were the case. It failed. It's good birth control. They should show Jay's wiener as birth control. That's a great idea. Trust me, it doesn't work. Yours would, though. Wood is, yes. Unusable. Oh, boy. Jay, like, is he talking? Listen, we can make fun of Jay with just about anything. But when Woods tells the wiener story, he's like, hey, don't do it. Don't do it.
You can talk about whatever you want. Don't say my wiener is long and skinny. Always talk about it. Husky pencil. Don't. He gets so bad. At least mine plumps when you cook it. That's his standard bit. Plumps when you cook it. He has a standard line. Off the air, on the air, doesn't matter. It's the ballpark Frank motto. And I've seen mine in the last two years. Plumps when you cook it, man. Plumps when you cook it, man. I actually saw yours. I'm not talking about it in the mirror. Say whatever you want. That thing plumps when you cook it. Oh, wow. Like, okay, Jay, okay. All right. Fine, it plumps. It plumps. It plumps. Okay, fine, dude. Speaking of plump. Yes, man. Last time you saw it, you were plump. Professor Plump. Professor Plump. If you don't put out there. No, I'm not kidding. If you don't. Hey, Mac, if you need to put out on the radio next time that that sucker plumps when he cooks. And if he don't. If he doesn't, Mike, I'm serious. That's it. Look, he can say anything he wants about the lint, the thinness of it, the hair, whatever. I don't care. But he better say. Oh, my gosh. If he doesn't say that it plumps when he cooks.
Quitting. I'm done. He's on the last straw. You can't get me to quit. It has to be that way. It has to be said that way. Either he's going to say it pumps when he cooks it, or I will say it. I get to say it. But it needs to get out there. I prefer that he says it, though. I prefer it. Because it don't have to say, wait, if I say it. If I need to have... Hey, you would say it. I'm not saying it, Jay. No, you... I'm not saying it. You ain't... L-O-B is right. It doesn't... Somebody needs to say it plumps. I don't know if it plumps. Our dang general manager can say it for all I care. Somebody's going to say it. Someone's going to say it. Next year, you'll hear, as a contractual difference between Lincoln Financial Media and J.R. Isbell, the following statement is being read. Jay's wiener plumps when you cook it. It'll be an intro. Yes. Like we're under contractual agreement. I'm like, hey. I got to play the legal, guys. Yeah. Before I go into my testimony. It's all about the plumping. I got to let you guys know that Jay's wiener plumps when you cook it. When you cook it. Say it right. Stop saying it like a joke. Quit reading it.
Saying it like you're reading it. Freaking sell it, Wood. Sell it, man. It plumps when you cook it. Don't just read it. I could read it. Follow me. It plumps when you cook it. When you cook it. Is that fine? Is that good? No. It plumps when you cook it. It plumps when you cook it. I said that. Drag out the plump. Drag out the plump. Okay, it plumps when you cook it. There you go. As opposed to you, you're just plump. No, man. It plumps. It plumps. God. Every time we tell that story. He has to. It is a guaranteed. All right, we got to go. The lovely hometown that Hillary is up next. Enjoy the rest of your day. We'll come back at 530 and do it all over again. The Mikey shows up. Pups when you cook it. Yeah.