The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/02/11
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
weight and vanityparentingrelationshipsprank callssocial mediakaraokeSuper Bowl foodbody odor and attractioncelebrity parodymikeyradiocomedy
Mikey, Woods, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay turned everyday questions about weight, parenting, Facebook, relationships, food, and body odor into sharp comic arguments. The biggest stunt was Mikey's fake gym-accountability call to Topher, while the messiest studio moment came when Lauren's impression of Jay forced an emergency dump-button save. More personal moments emerged when Mikey described his bond with his father and when the crew seriously debated Brooke Burke's claim that a parent can love a child without always liking them. Hoyle's fake American Idol triumph, Justin Bieber's 63 uses of 'like,' and the riffs about Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton supplied the show's broadest parody bits.
What happened, in order
The Magic Weight-Loss Pill
Mikey asked whether the crew would take or buy a perfect weight-loss pill, first attaching a 75 percent cancer risk and then a $50,000 price, which exposed how differently they valued health, vanity, and convenience.
Bieber's 63 Likes
The hosts bet on how often Justin Bieber said 'like' during an 11-minute Jay Leno interview, and the final montage counted an astonishing 63 uses.
L.O.B.'s Secret Sulking Video
Lauren O'Brien admitted that Matt secretly filmed her dragging her feet and sulking after a bad day, prompting the entire crew to beg for the embarrassing video.
Relationship Status Breaking News
The show staged a Tom Brokaw-style bulletin after Lauren O'Brien changed her Facebook status to 'in a relationship,' then spun into an argument over whether Sienna's husband Todd secretly wanted a Facebook account.
Can You Love but Dislike Your Child?
Brooke Burke's admission that she did not always like each of her children launched a long debate in which Mikey separated love from liking, while Sienna argued that a parent saying 'I don't like my child' was too cold.
The Dump-Button Meltdown
While acting out Jay's planned karaoke performance, Lauren O'Brien blurted an obscenity, pointed frantically at the dump button, and left the studio doubled over laughing after the delay caught it.
Mikey and His Dad
Mikey recalled refusing a family trip after his father hurt his feelings, then explained how his father's apology and a recent 'I'm really proud of you, son' deepened their bond.
Hoyle Goes to Hollywood
Hoyle played a mock American Idol audition of himself singing Journey's 'Open Arms,' complete with fake praise and three yes votes from Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson.
The Treadmill Accountability Prank
Posing as a gym employee, Mikey called Topher about his treadmill-only routine, gradually accused him of checking out women and being known as 'Bulky,' then revealed that Topher's wife had requested the prank.
The Super Bowl Food Fight
Woods defended his canned-ingredient seven-layer dip while Sienna, Adam, Lauren, and Jay argued over fresh ingredients, real cooking, turkey bacon, chili, stuffed jalapeños, and whether the whole tasting had become a com
Does Sweat Smell Sexy?
A clip of Julie Chen liking her husband's post-workout scent led Mikey, Woods, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay into an increasingly absurd dispute about sweat, body odor, pheromones, age, love, and attraction.
Helena and Tim's Two Houses
After Helena Bonham Carter explained that her house and Tim Burton's neighboring house were connected, the crew imagined moats, secret-book tunnels, chilled blood, and separate gothic quarters before arguing over Burton'
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayMatt CommerceToddBrooke BurkeHoyle HenreadyTopherJustin BieberJay LenoJulie ChenHelena Bonham Carter
28,110 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
You must have missed. There must have been about seven, eight seconds of dead air because I think I accidentally hit the delay button. And I don't know how, but I did. And now we're back and you can hear us. And we're live in your town. In your face. 570-194-9's number. If you want to give us a call. Woodsy's on day three of exercise clothes. He's going for it. Am I? I just wear clothes. I don't exercise. You don't leave here and go exercise? I didn't yesterday, but I went to Little League practice, and I get a ton of exercise with those little guys. Is that why you're doing this dress? No, I just like to be comfortable now. I think I'm a new bit. Is it? Yeah. I thought that you were dressing this way in workout pants.
and sort of workout clothes that's what you've been dressing each day and i thought oh he's leaving here and he's going and doing a really really powerful workout that creates an immense sweat and uh you know what hey good for woodsy yeah and you said no i'm not doing that and i thought oh he's going a little league practice he's dressing this way so you get out there and get after you know the kids hey come on let's do this you know that kind of deal as it turns out no Neither of those. Listen, I like to be comfortable. No, Little League I did. I did Little League last night. I was supposed to go to the gym after work. Yeah. We got out of here a little bit too late. My old man is at my house, and I didn't want him there all day with the dogs. He's got work to do. So I had to go to the grocery store too. Busy guy. And I didn't go to the gym. I just went to the store and then went to Little League and sweated my butt off. Yeah, I saw Woods on the road. We pulled up next to each other at a red light. And he said, all right, well, I'll see you later. I'm going to get some swordfish. Yeah, it's a true story. I have the best swordfish recipe. Grilled up some swordfish last night, new potatoes, green beans, and grilled bell peppers. Wow. It was unbelievable. Really? Unbelievable. Dinner. Healthy, delicious. Wow. I mean, it was, my dad was like, holy cow, he's eating like a king. Yeah. It was great.
That's awesome. Hey, man, I can't get on you about not working out. I worked out, I guess, technically. I ran and I threw batting practice for like an hour. And I pulled this little top off that I have. And my shirt was covered in sweat. Covered. How's that feel? It felt good, actually. My kids are looking good. Yeah, I napped. I ate food. I put on my jeans this morning and had to do five squats to make sure they were nice and loosened and stretched out. Were they out of the dryer? No, sir. It's kind of like you got two for one. You got a little workout in and you fit into your jeans. Yeah, when you said, were they out of the dryer? I thought you meant the Hawaiian rolls. The buttered Hawaiian rolls. Of course. That sounds so good. Is there anything better than those with a little butter on them? You know what's good in there? A little ham. Of course it is. Like a thick piece of ham in a Hawaiian roll. Right now it's like you're talking about porno. I like it covered in gravy.
Hawaiian rolls covered in gravy? Oh, yeah. That's weird, but delicious. Probably pretty good. Oh, yeah. Never heard that. You could put anything with Hawaiian rolls, and I bet it'd be delicious. Yeah, turd. So good. Yeah. If you've never had them, you should try them. They're good. Orange packaging. Yeah. I'm Mikey. I'm the host. I'm 40. I'm way overweight. Oh, stop. Sorry. Sorry. You is not. I've been talked out of the fact that I'm ugly. I don't think I am. I think I'm kind of cute. There you go. I'm chubby. I need to work out. I need to lose some weight. No more trainer bit. Nope. It's all done. Ran out of my trainer. I had a certain amount bought. You didn't run out of there. You walked out of there. You sat out of there. Let's face it, I napped out of there. I napped right out of there. I ate out of there. So anyway, those are done. But there's a possibility that a new sponsor here on the Mikey Show might be P90X. I won't be doing it. I might be doing it. Have fun. Yeah, I know. You can know what you're signing up for, right? Yeah, but you know what I'm going to get in my head? What? I have this thing that I do where I can punish myself. Yeah. And that's what I'll do. Yeah. I'll get into a state of mind that I am punishing myself for a good cause, for good reason. And you know how I roll. I even have biblical.
backing for it. Yep. But I will punish my body. And I also remember the words of Jimmy V, never give up. So I'll keep that stuff in my head and I'll just do it. Okay. Here's going to be, and I'm pulling for you. I really am. I've done it. It's hard, hard work. Yeah, I don't have to do what they do. No, I know. What's going to be the hard part for you, I think, is motivating yourself to do it at your home. Yeah. That's everybody's issue. You get a DVD player here and a little space. Okay. I would even do it with you. But, dude, when you get home, you're like, I got my laptop. I got my iPad. I got a place. I'm going to do it. Where? I'm going to use Jake's room. I'm going to take those milk chairs out of the way. Those are the ones that Rebecca used to use to feed Jake when he was a baby. Yeah. It's two chairs. I call them the milk chairs. Well, dairy's closed. Dairy is closed. Well, I'll tell you, man. Once you finish, like I've done, I did it, and once you do a few days and you finish the workout, you're like, holy crap, that was a good workout. I mean, you were like, that was a workout. Yeah. You guys, no joke. He'll drive you crazy, the guy that does the bits. I mute it. The girls are cute, though. Yeah, they are. Weird. I do not feel for you or feel sorry for you. I know. I shouldn't.
Do I not? No, that wasn't what I meant to say. I do feel sorry. I was like, wait, no, that didn't come out right. You don't envy him. 90 days straight is this deal? Yeah. Not one break. No piece of enchilada. No bite? Yes. You don't have to do the food. You can decide, yeah, whether or not you want to do the diet. I thought it was like hardcore diet. What's eating chicken? It is. That's if you do like the full deal. Now, a lot of people just do the workout. I kind of have a new bit I'm working on in my head. Just eat what you want and just work out. Hey, man. If you are currently not working out. I hate it. And you eat like a pig. Well, if you start working out and you don't change your diet, hello, there's a difference there. Right. Your metabolism is going to work differently. Everything is going to work differently. It's better than not doing either one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Doing both. Not working out and eating like crap. The thing is when you have to work out, you usually. It's either one or the other. You either feel so good that you don't want to put junk in your body or you know you have to do a workout. So you're like, well, I can't have an enchilada before I do this workout. Yeah. Which is just a snack. Yeah. You just call it a snack. You just call it a snack. Just call it food. One day there's going to be some magical pill that isn't bad for you. It just sheds the pounds right off. If there was a pill. Let me ask you a question. Take it in a second. If there was a pill that you could.
take daily and it would make you lose weight and you would lose weight down to the weight that you wanted. Okay. And then once you got down to the weight that you wanted, you stopped taking the pill and it's guaranteed. Yeah. Okay. And not bad for you. Well, wait a minute. Hang on. You take this pill once a day and you will lose the weight. And not only will you lose the weight, but it'll give you lean muscle and you'll look. Exactly like what you want to look like. Now, the problem is, is that there is a 75% chance you will get cancer. Oh, my gosh. Will I stay at this weight for the rest of my life? But, Sienna. What? But, Sienna. The cancer, they've proven that if you do get the cancer, 75% chance, if you do get the cancer, the cancer will not happen.
Until after the age of 55. It just doesn't. They've been doing tests on it now for 10 years. Oh, boy. This is a hypothetical I'm making up. So, Sienna would have 30 years. And so, even if you did, there's 25% chance that you don't even get cancer. But 75%. This is easy. Yes or no? I would not take that. No way. No way. I'd have to. I mean, I could lose the weight myself easily. I just need to do something. But, you know, yeah, no. I'm a mom. I'm not going to do that to my baby. That's selfish. That's right. I thought you were going to ask, if there was this magic pill that did all those things that you just said without the cancer, how much would you pay? I thought that you were going to say that too. How much would you pay? A lot. What's it worth to you, Mike? You take this pill and you are... Just like you want. And it's not bad for you? It's not bad for you. It's like a vitamin. It's a vitamin that makes you lean and cut and whatever you want to look like in your mind's eye. Well, the problem is that do I have to take it forever? Yeah. Once a day. There comes a point where you can't afford it. But it's like a multivitamin. No, no. It's a one-time fee. And you get a lifetime supply. Oh, you get a lifetime supply. What's it worth to you? I think it's worth $12,000. That's it? I was going to say $15,000. I was going to say $10,000.
Sorry, it's only available for $50,000. It's a $50,000 investment. Oh, my gosh. I mortgaged my home. I'd just be running around. It's limited. So I've only got enough for these first 100 people to get in. So today, really, I need to get a commitment from you. Done. I would do it. No way. I'll give you a pinky for it. Lifetime supply of medicine. L.O.B. Spoken like a true hot chick. Yeah. No. With a good body. With a good body. Yeah, she's like, I wouldn't pay that. No. We're like, great. No, stuff is falling apart every day. Trust me. You haven't lived your whole life as a chub. That's why even the first question that I asked, where I'm like 55 years old, I'm like, I've been a chub my whole life. That's only 15 years for you, though. That's 30 for Sienna. I'm a chub my whole life. Just one day you wake up and you're just like... But it doesn't matter. There are more important things in life. Yeah. But that's how vain people are. That I would pay... Vanity, it's like something I've never had. Right. L.O.B. used to be a runner. She looks good. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, but stuff is falling apart and I would... There's a lot of things I wish I could take a magic pill for, but not for $50,000. Oh my God, I would take it in a heartbeat. I would. In a heartbeat. If I would... I mean, because you're going to just keep getting older and older and look worse and worse, so...
But it's not a fountain of youth. It's just a leaner, right? Yeah, but I'm okay with that. I'm okay with a leaner. These little guys are gone. He's shaking his boobs. You know, the thing is, the thing is that that's the kind of thing that we've put such an importance on it that my mind actually goes, wow, think about that. Instead of working out. Right. You know what I mean? You should do both. Take the pill and work out. I mean, imagine. We just want to cheat. Imagine this. Like, there doesn't need to be a magic pill. There doesn't need to be $50,000. There doesn't need to be any of the fake scenario I just brought up. All we have to do is eat healthy and work out. Imagine you reach a limit with where you're going to get between both of those things. Just imagine, though, driving through Wendy's, getting that bacon cheeseburger you love, Mike. Oh, my God, I want it. A large french fry. Then you take that little vitamin. It's healthy.
You don't gain a pound. Whatever you want, pal. You don't gain a pound! See, this is one thing one day I would like to ask God. How come the stuff that tasted so good had to make you fat? Temptation. Temptation? Okay, but, like, why... Can't asparagus just taste so good? Oh, I love asparagus. I like asparagus, too. You guys got to change your way of thinking. That's the problem. Go to patterns. How do I change my way of thinking, LLB? How do I change my thinking to the fact that something tastes differently? It might never matter. You could say, this asparagus is delicious. It does taste good, but you know what tastes better? Baconator tastes better than a sparrow. It just tastes better. You just eliminate it. If you eliminate it for long enough, you forget. That's true. That's true. When you cut out that kind of stuff and you stop getting donuts at 7-Eleven every morning, you start being like, I don't even eat that donut. You don't think I love steak? You don't think I would love to eat a steak or a pork chop? Oh, I would love to. I would love to go back and eat a steak or a pork chop, but I just made a conscious decision to move away from it.
And you don't miss it? I don't miss it. Well, you miss it. You do sometimes. At first I missed it like a crazy person. Not enough. But then even when it's there, I'm just like, no, you know. Jay is lean. He's lean. I want to be leaner. Jay is lean. He knows lean is BFMC. He's lean. I gave him a hug the other day. I gave him a hug. I was like. Nice body. Really nice body. Does he work out all the time? Every day? Not every day. Probably five days a week. Like to the gym or just like running and stuff? Everything. How's he look shirtless? Wow. Pretty good. I mean, I hugged the guy. I was like, probably better than me and you, pal. Yeah, probably. He's really dedicated to his workout schedule, though. Son of a... How do you become so dedicated? He eats pretty healthy, but he has a lot of weaknesses. But he's just really dedicated to working out. What's that like? I know what it is for me. As soon as I look in the mirror and I go, oh, there's like a line on my shoulder that wasn't there. Then I'm in. Stretch mark? No. Oh, a crease. Yeah. Yeah. I had this from surfing on my forearm and I was like, babe, feel that because I paddled. I was like, she's like.
Man, your arms are, like, leaning up. You're looking good. Yes, that went straight to the pub. Water got cold. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin says we can rewire our brain. Are you there, Cave Dweller? Yes, I am, Mikey. How are you guys doing this morning? Good. Mikey, I want to tell you that anything you want to do, any changes you want to make, you absolutely can make. The more you exercise, the more healthy food you eat, and the more you... forcibly enjoy it, the better you're going to feel about it. And you will actually rewire your brain. You're right. It's true. I've done it before, but I've gone back. Oh, I backslide like crazy. And I'll get to my goal weight and I'll be like, yes. And then I'm like, oh, well, I got there so I can. eat this donut real quick. It's just a donut. I can eat 15 donut holes. It's only one donut. Right. And like, why can't I just, it's like a reward. You can't have one donut. I know, but then the next day, you're like, I still look badass and I had that donut yesterday. Yeah. And then I go back. A good thing to do.
if you have that sort of problem, is to keep a food diary. Because then you start to feel guilty when you have to log things like that. You're like, oh, gosh. Look at how many donuts I had this week. I was only supposed to have one. I had three. I'm really a creep. That's all just starting today. Eat healthy. No. I want to. I'm ready. I'm there. I'm there. 80-20. I need your help, though. This is what friends do to each other. They'll get to a point where they decide and then they're like, you guys, we can't go to lunch at the place. And we're like, hey. No, please. Keep your health yourself. I came in here yesterday with almonds in the morning and these wheat pretzels that aren't that great, but they're not bad. Let's see what's in my lunch. Hand me my lunch. I don't even know. And Mike took out Doritos right next to me. Yeah, let me see that. I didn't eat them. Red velvet cake. I didn't eat them. I ate that. You have to get Rebecca on board so that she stops buying you the junk. Even though you've requested the junk, you have to tell her, do not bring that home. No matter what I do. That's what I'm saying. No matter what I say. I'm going to try to be good. Oh, look what she has. There you go. That's healthy. She's another message in there.
Cheese and eggs. Cheese and crackers and a hard-boiled egg. Yeah, the message is we want you around for longer. But see, now Mike will be like, well, Chris is here. I should probably get a burrito. And he'll throw that away. And I'm like, I can dig it out of the trash can and eat it. Let's do it together, please. Yes, I'm in. Because if one of us brings in cake, then we're all screwed. But if one of us bring in, you know. Celery? It will help. I have celery with me. I think we all do the P90. Let's do it. I'll do P90X. Let's all do it. I can't do that. I'm in. Why not? I can do it again. I can do it again. Let's do it. Let's do it again. Chris lost a lot of weight. He did. Woods, I don't understand, dude. You did P9015. You did P15X. Right. So why are you saying you're in? I'll do it again, I said. I'll try again. You'll motivate each other. Hey, man. In this life, if you fall down, all you can do is get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Sounds like an idea song. You're saying that with a giant dip of snuff in your lip. This is another thing. Once I get hungry, I put a dip in. It's a bit now. Cancer is better than being fat. I can't do P90X because I have to take baby steps to get to the good part of where I'm working out and I'm eating good. You can do part of it. I can't just overnight be like, oh, you can do part of it. Let me give some information out. A couple things.
Big announcement for singles at 7.30. We basically told you what it is just in saying that. Is there really an announcement? There's details. We'll give you details. You don't know where or when. Even if you're not single, it'll still be a way to hang out with a Mikey show. So we'll tell you about that at 7.30. Plus, Hoyle did an American Idol audition. Oh, sweet. Yeah. And he's going to, you know. He's going to play it. Wow. He's going to play his audition. You'll hear his audition. What else? Word of the day today is hippo. Speaking of dieting. You'll be able to hear that between now and 10. When you do, hear that between now and 10 a.m. Just be calling 9. You get a four-pack of SeaWorld fun cards worth $280. And we'll also throw in a pay-per-view to UFC 112. Today's Groundhog Day, so feast. Yeah. Here's how it works, okay? Poxitani Phil is a groundhog. He comes out of his little hole, and if he sees his shadow, he goes back in, and it means that the winter is going to last longer. Yeah. If he doesn't see a shadow, then little dude, he's like, oh, look, feast, come out. Who's the crackhead that invented this holiday? I don't know. Well, would you like to know his forecast? Yeah. Poxitani Phil said that there is going to be an early end to our winter.
So he did not see a shadow. He's a groundhog. It works, though. Does it? Well, it has, traditionally. Hey, Mikey, this is Punxsutawney Phil. Hey, dude. How are you? Good, how are you? Good, I'm a groundhog. Hey, you know what's cool about you? What? You work. Do I? Yeah, as we go back over the years, you know, you're mostly right. There's been a couple of times where you've been wrong, but the funny thing about you, Punxsutawney... Mr. Phil. Yeah, just call me. Dr. Phil. You can call me Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil, the funny thing about you is you're usually right. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a shot in the dark. Well, maybe a shot in the dark. I'm not a rodent. I don't know. You kind of are. Yeah, you are. You're a groundhog. Leave me alone. I'm going to go back in my hole. Just enjoy the fame. Yeah, okay. Let's go play some polka music. Early winter over. Thank you. You're welcome. Hey, it was my pleasure. Anything else I can do for you? Thank you, Puxitani. You're welcome. What's the matter with your English? I don't know. You're well. You kind of look like a groundhog. Thank you. Big fat groundhog. She's told me I look like a groundhog. A cute one. Handsome. A little nose. Small features. A Valentine's Day. From the waist up, I love you. Valentine's Day is coming up. So be kind to your family members.
Hey, this is Uncle Victor for payback your pa. Why don't you pay him back? He gave you money to get a car. What's the matter with you? Your father gave you money and you spent it on wine. You freaking wino. Payback your pa. He's my brother. Hey, why don't you pay back your pa because he gave you money for the down payment for the house you live in. That's okay. You don't even know. You don't even know what it's like. Why don't you pay back your pot? He changed your diapers. And he had to smell you with your room. Pay back your pot. Wow. Uncle Victor. Uncle Victor for pay. Pay back your pot. Where does he live? Brooklyn? I don't know. I think in the Bronx. Probably the Bronx. How many times do you guys think Justin Bieber can use the word like?
in his interview that he did with Jay Leno in the time span of 11 minutes. Here's the over-under. 38. Woods, over or under? Over. L-O-B? Under. Sienna? Way over. Jay? Over. We will see. All right, so the over-under was 38. On how many times Justin Bieber would say the word like in his interview with Jay Leno? Over an 11-minute time zone. We have a montage. You don't worry about it. All right. I'll be saying what I'll be saying. All right? Why are you talking like that, Justin? What you mean, boy? What you mean? I mean... That's how I talk. You talk like a black rap star. I am a black singer. I ain't a rap star yet. I'll be dropping an album soon. You're a white kid with straight blonde hair. No. It ain't blonde and I ain't white.
All right. I'm about as white as you are. Thank you. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the president of Egypt, who we've been hearing so much about, Hosni Mubarak, made an announcement yesterday. He will not be seeking re-election, which is what all the protesting is about. But he said that he would, quote, serve out his last seven months of his term. And he said that he will also, quote, die on Egyptian soil. Protesters booed as they watched his speech on the TV, you know, and they kept chanting, go away, we're not leaving until he leaves. But Obama also spoke about it. We have that audio, I think. Yeah. Let's see. What cut is it? Oh, we got it. Yeah. I got it. Here is President Obama yesterday and what he had to say about Hosni. After his speech tonight, I spoke directly to President Mubarak. He recognizes that the status quo is not sustainable and that a change must take place. Indeed, all of us who are privileged to serve in positions of political power do so at the will of our people through thousands of years.
Egypt has known many moments of transformation. The voices of the Egyptian people tell us that this is one of those moments. This is one of those times. By the way, do you guys realize how this began? No. It began on the Internet. Yeah. It began on the Internet. Like, this is a moment in time. Now, I don't know if a lot of people realize this. You may or may not remember this, but do you remember when the Berlin Wall came down? Yes. How big that was? Yes. Do you remember when the Chinese kid, the college student, stood in front of the tank at Tiananmen Square? Yep. This is just as big. Sure. This is just as big. It started on the Internet. Doesn't surprise me, man. Now, it is not the role of any other country to determine Egypt's leaders. Only the Egyptian people can do that. What is clear, and what I indicated tonight to President Mubarak, is my belief that an orderly transition must be meaningful, it must be peaceful, and it must begin now. Okay, so Mubarak goes, all right, fine, I'll go. But when?
I did not intend to run for a new presidential term because I have spent enough time in my life serving Egypt and its people. But now I am completely keen on concluding my... work for the nation in a fashion that guarantees passing the responsibility and the flag in a safe Egypt, in an atmosphere that preserves the constitution and legitimacy. He's leaving in September. Yeah, seven more months. So seven more months. If I'm an Egyptian, though, I'm like... How do I know you're really going to... How about it gets to September and you're like, well, it's going to take a little more time. Right. You know what I mean? Oh, they want him out now. Hello. Hello. This is President Obama. This is Mubarak. Hi, Mubarak. How are you? I'm great. I was watching Family Guy. That's a great show. I have the Cleveland show. Have you seen that one? You know, I've T-voted. Sorry, DVR'd it. But I'm mostly a Family Guy guy. That's like the Simpsons that get a little old.
I know you have important things going on, but while I have you on the phone, have you heard that song Back to December by Taylor Swift? If you like Dear John, then you will definitely like Back to December. She wrote it for Taylor Lautner. sleep with in your country? Well, let's see. She's been with John Mayer. Joe Jonas. I've been with John Mayer. Joe Jonas. Doesn't surprise me. Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner. Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake Gyllenhaal. Good Lord. Taylor Lautner, by the way, is the guy from... Yeah, I know who you are. Team Jacob. I'm Team Jacob here. Yeah, the Twilight guy. What's going on?
What do you mean, what's going on? You're the leader. I'm not kicking it. Just kicking it. You're just kicking it there? I'm kicking it. Hey, you've got to get out of power. I totally leave in September. They cry and moan and are all upset. Listen, I'm 70-something years old, and I want to fish. I want to play my harmonica and whittle. Why don't you get out of there and go do those things? I'm going to, and I want to go, Mike. This is not my... You know, when we do bits, you oftentimes forget the character. Oftentimes I do. I have not been wrong. Then, you know what? Then I can't exactly blame you, Steve. Because, you know, this is not a profession you've been doing forever. Put you on the phone to recruit salespeople. How well you do. How would I do? Exactly. Right, exactly. So, anyway, President...
Mubarak. I think you should get out of there. I don't like to be told what to do. Leave when I want to leave. I like to do the things that I like to do when I want to do them. Just hang up on him. You don't worry about. Maybe. That's what needs to be done with the president. I had to hang up on the guy. He wasn't making any sense. Also, yesterday was one of the greatest bull markets in history. The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 12,000 for the first time in two and a half years. Yeah. It's good for my portfolio. Yeah. No way. It's great news. Great news. What's going on in sports, Woods? Tom Brady has been named the Associated Press NFL Offensive Player of the Year. No, well, I mean, obviously. Best butt. Yeah, the hottest wife. But the guy had another huge, huge year. But yeah, he beat Michael Vick. Michael Vick got 11 votes for the Offensive Player of the Year. Tom Brady was the winner, which will only add to the fact that everybody loves Tom Brady. Even me, I like Tom Brady, and he's from Boston. Also, there was a rough weekend for Everson Griffin. If you don't know who Everson Griffin is, he plays for the Minnesota Vikings, played at USC. He got arrested twice in three days.
Would you tell that story if you went to Notre Dame? Yeah, of course. I am a fair and balanced journalist. For sure. Absolutely. Journalist. Yeah, but he's a Viking now. So he got a citation for public drunkenness, which, you know, who hasn't? And then he said the police officers had to use a stun gun to subdue him. He tried to flee from a stop from an officer. So he ran from the cops and they had to tase him. So he's had a rough couple of days. Yeah, it is. It is a rough couple of days. Hey, if you're single and you're an M1, there's a Mikey Show listener. We got some news coming up for you at 7.30. You don't want to miss. And it's a couple of things in one. A, it's cool because if you're single, you get to mingle. But it's also cool because you get to hang out with the Mikey Show. So we'll give you some details on that at 7.30. Eskimo Blue Water's coming in. Hoyle coming in to play his American Idol audition. Word of the day is hippo. How many times will Justin Bieber say the word like? when talking to Jay Leno in an 11-minute interview. The over and under is 38. Let's see if he does it under 38 times or over 38 times in 11 minutes. Please welcome Justin Bieber. This is a montage. Not really new haircut, just kind of like... I was like...
I sleep. Bieber. The answer? 63 times. Wow. Holy cow, dude. Winner. 63 times in 11 minutes. Oh, my God. Like 63 times or 63 times? Just like. Like 63 times. We remember, though, man. When we were kids, you'd get onto something and you'd just do it. I still say like more than I should. I still. I charge my kids a dollar at the table. I say, if you're going to say like where it's not supposed to be, you owe me a dollar. Have you ever gotten any? Oh, yeah. I take money from home. It's how I pay my rent. So they stopped saying it, though. It broke them from saying it. I have never said this on the air. Never said this on the air. That's rare because I usually give out all the stories. But when I was 12.
We lived in the bad part of town. And we lived with all Mexicans. And I made friends with them. And they used to say, hey, what up, hey? And I used to say, hey. And I said it as much as Bieber just said like. And my parents never said a word. They never said a word. But my, like when I was talking, hey, like I would talk like this, hey. And I would say, hey, for everything, hey. And I would talk like that. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. That voice that I used to do at Bento, that was me. Wow. They used to talk like that, eh? They used to say, eh, for everything, eh? Wow. But why the, eh? I don't know. That's what they did. That's what I did. Just mimicked it. Wow. Yeah, wow. Speechless. I've never said that. Speechless. I said, eh, eh, eh. How old? 12, 11? I was 12, eh. Eh? Yeah. You pick up things quickly at that age. You just get onto it and you just keep doing it. You just run it right into the ground. Wow. LOB's recap today. I don't understand. Why do you like it so much? I said to LOB, I go, oh, wow. When I really like something, I highlight it in a green highlighter. Then I say to Sienna, I go, green this. It says, I saw Matt yesterday and said, sorry if I was a big grump on Monday. And he said, that's okay. Not, you were fine. I didn't notice.
That means I must have been really pissy because he usually tries to downplay that stuff. Turns out he secretly broke out his video camera while I was sulking on Monday because I was acting ridiculous and like a baby. I watched it. I watched it and I looked like a seven-year-old dragging my feet. Wow. I told him, you better delete that. And he says it's his favorite video ever. You know what you're signing up for, don't you? He's probably already deleted it. Oh, no, he hasn't. You know he hasn't deleted it. You know he hasn't deleted it. I told him he had to. He wouldn't if it's his favorite. I need it. Don't even try to pretend that it's gone. I gotta have it. L-O-B, why? Why? You've already given us Santa Baby. Yeah, there you go. Lauren, you know we're going to want it. We got to have it. We got to have it. We got to have it. I beg you. I beg you. Yes, it is. It's worse. It's like holding onto a great white shark, pouring chum onto his face and being like, keep your mouth shut. Don't swallow. Don't swallow. It's a stupid video.
L-O-B. I bet it's not. It is not stupid. You can't tell us about it then. It's so stupid. It is not stupid. Trust me, it's stupid. I bet it's not. And if it still exists, then Matt's in trouble. Matt, call us. No call us, Matt. He's in a... I beg you. He's in quite a predicament. I beg. I beg. I beg. I beg. I knew he was taping halfway through. What did you do? I was going like this. And walking around like I was seven years old. And then I caught him in the middle. What were you mad about? I was just grumpy. About what? Everything. And so you were just. It was the same day I threw the Tupperware. I was mad because they rearranged the Target and I couldn't find anything. I got to see this thing. My kombucha was sour. Oh my God. I was just in a bad mood and I couldn't get out of it. And I was just dragging my feet around all night. Did the monthly bill come out? No. Aunt Flo come to town? No, no. I was just grumpy. Really? And then in the middle of it, I went, babe.
And he was like, go walk like you were just walking. And I was doing it again on the video. I have to see it. Oh, I want to see it. I want to see it so bad. It's not gone. It's not gone. It's not gone. It's not gone. But that's his bit. He's got this little flip cam. There's a 150% chance that it isn't gone. It's still. It needs to be posted on Facebook. I want to see it. Yeah. I want to see it so bad. Yeah. I want to see what it looks like. But who does that? That's my new thing. We all do. That's why I want to see it. The video? You do that to people? Oh, no. Oh, of course I would. Yeah. I'm a big baby sometimes. Oh, man. Really? Hearing, like, just seeing somebody in such a private moment. Such gold. Such gold. Well, hopefully sometime you guys will get to see it firsthand. It reminds me. It reminds me of, like, when the people are crying because their team lost and somebody videotapes you. It's so awkward yet so great. It's so great. It's so great to watch them be like. That's why reality TV is such a hit. It is. Because you get to see people doing stuff you do. I like hidden. I like hidden. Hidden camera is better than reality TV because there's no script. I mean, the hidden camera stuff where you don't know you're being filmed and you're acting like a D, that's when it works the best. So funny.
I want to see it. Oh, me too. I'd kill for it. I bet he deleted it. I bet he didn't. Call him. Maddie, come on. Wake him up. Is he awake this time? He could be. You just never know with that guy. He's a wild card. He's a wild card. With a great body. What? He's very lean. Why are you saying that all morning? He's very live. He already said it to me yesterday. He's very live. Are you trying to let him know that you think it? Yeah. He's got a great body. We don't know. Hey, man, I'm saying. If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me? You guys got a great body. What do you want? I guess for you to stop telling us. That'd be a huge start. Since you've asked, I mean. Stop talking about it. You know how I know you're gay? You keep saying that L.O.B.'s boyfriend is lean. Has a great body. He's very live and lean. Live, that's a good word. He's very live? Live.
Live. You need to go back to getting your morning donut. Yeah. Wow. Hello. If you're listening, Matt, you have a great body. Can't wait to see him with his shirt on. Is he going to the beach? Yeah. You ever seen a grown man naked? Woods actually asked Lauren earlier. On the air, he goes. How does he look with his shirt off? Does he have that V right here? Okay, weirdo. Damn it. What a D. What a D. What's it look like? Yeah, the V. I hate that guy. Does he shave his belly? I hate that. You're clearly gay. There's nothing really you have to say about that. Hey, I'm comfortable enough in my own masculinity that I can appreciate.
A man's nice body. He's trying to get in shape. He's trying to get a muse. Yeah, I need a muse. Dude, what? You look good. That's all. I'm just saying. I'm just saying you got a great rock-high body. I'm not saying nothing weird. Exactly. The other day when I put my arms around you and gave you a big hug, it was nice. That's all I'm saying. It wasn't nice like that. I'm saying it. When I hugged you, I felt muscles and it was muscular. And I was like. Hey, this guy's muscular. That's all I was saying. Yeah, it's nice. I wasn't saying like, oh, yeah, I want to kiss you. I was saying like, oh, wow, this dude's buttocks. It's like rock hot. Basically rock hot. That's it. It's a compliment to you. It's jealousy is what it is. Yeah, it's jealousy, bro. It's just jealousy. It's jealousy. I'm like, I look at those lips. I'm like, they're so freaking kissable. I'm like, whoa, I wish I had such kissable lips. That's all you mean. Yeah. You just want them for yourself. I'm jealous. I'm like, man, I wish chicks looked at me and they was like.
Oh my gosh, that guy's got like the most kissable lips I've ever seen in my life. They're so soft. They're so supple. Like pillows. They're like a couple of pillows. Like baby's breath. Like baby's breath. If only I had that. It's jealousy. It's envy. It's jealousy. It's envy. It probably ain't right. Appreciation. Appreciation. Yeah, it probably ain't right where I'm like, man, I could probably, a chick would probably want to give butterfly kisses to that. All day. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is. A chick was. I wish I had that quality. It's admiration. It's admiration. I admire your skin. That's it. Yeah, it's nice. Oh, boy. Confident man. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Or you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Okay. When we come back, we're going to play Tom Tom tunes. So call us if you want to play Tom Tom tunes. 570-1949. We have the Tom Tom girl. She will read the lyrics to songs. You have to guess what the song is. I'm excited. Yeah, you're excited.
And all they got to do, right, TomTomGirl, is give title or artist a win. In 20 seconds or less. 20 seconds or less. All right, we'll do that when we come back. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry. This is Tom Brokaw reporting live from news headquarters in New York. We interrupt this broadcast at KBCT-FM to announce the following. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., who is a comedian and on-air personality in San Diego, California, has just changed her Facebook status to in a relationship. Oh! In a relationship. Oh, boy. We now send you back to regular programming. Oh!
I mean, you know it's important if Tom Brokaw interrupts Chaka Khan. You know it is. I'll tell you why. Why? Congratulations, by the way. Congratulations! We're so happy for you. Wiener time. Today is my sister-in-law Kim's 30th birthday. Happy birthday, Kim. And she's listed as one of my family members. And I was like, what else do I have listed in here? And I realized that I didn't have that I was in a relationship, so I changed my status. That's nice. Not a big deal. That's a big deal. Now he has to confirm, so it'll say in a relationship with Mac Commerce, but I'm awaiting confirmation on that. Wow. Well, wait a minute. If we see it, then how come? It'll say in a relationship, but right now it doesn't say with and give you the link to the person. Okay. You don't have that on yours, I noticed, Woods. I don't? I don't have it on mine. I just say married. I don't have it on mine. I just say married. Well, Todd's not on Facebook. True. Todd's not allowed on Facebook. He is Kim. Kim's not allowed on Facebook. Todd doesn't want to be on Facebook. Doesn't he? Todd wants to be on Facebook. He 100% wants to be on Facebook. More than anything in the world. He tells me all the time. Desperately. No, he doesn't. He was at my shower. Desperately. At my baby shower. He came up to me and goes, Woodsie, I'm so happy for you guys. You're having a baby. Please get me on Facebook. I love you guys. I'm so happy.
Please break her down. Let her tell me to get on Facebook. He doesn't want to. He goes on mine any time he's allowed to go on mine. He's allowed. I want my own Facebook. I'm Fred Smith. Don't tell you that. He has a fan page. Dude, I have not seen you in so long. How are you doing? Give me a Facebook page. Give me a Facebook page. Break her down. Will you break her down? Break her down. The other day? This is embarrassing. Oh, gosh. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. He wrote it in blood. Lipstick on the mirror. Babe, please. Lipstick on the mirror. It said, welcome to the world of AIDS. And two. That's the weirdest story ever. I got a sneaking suspicion the other day. So I went on Facebook. Oh, my God. And I searched Todd Farrar. He wasn't on. Oh, my God. Do you really think he would put himself under Todd Richards? Check Todd Richards. You guys, I know he doesn't want it. He hates Todd Rick. He loves it. Todd Rick. He doesn't think I should be on it anyway. And I would cancel mine, but I do it for the show. Agreed. It's the only reason I'm on Facebook. It's true. It drives me nuts. Why? You guys should overthink stuff. I know.
Embrace it. It's 2011. It's a time waster for me is my complaint with Facebook. It sucks me in and I just can't get out. He wants his own. Todd, defend me. He wants his own. It's so bad. He's going to tell you that he doesn't. In his heart, he wants his Todd. You know why? He doesn't love it. Right now he's on his Steve Jones account. Yeah, exactly. You know why he wants it? Steve Jones. Because he wants all the fans and stuff to be like, yeah, Todd, what's up, dude? I love you. No, he doesn't. He does. He's normal. Danny made him a Todd the God fan page. He was obsessed. Todd? Yes. No, he wasn't. He was not. He only got like 100 fans or something. I actually find it very attractive, the very few people that have not gotten on Facebook. Me too. Oh, please. I do. Those people are confident. They're confident. They don't need to sink down to Facebook. It was like when you met someone in the year 2005 or later that didn't have a cell phone, you're like, wow.
You're an idiot. That's what I say. No. You're an idiot. You don't have a cell phone? I don't have time for that. It's old school. I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's old school. The real John Wayne. Yeah, you're like John Steinbeck just traveling across the country. Writing. Yeah, you're writing. I like it. You're journaling. You know why I don't have Facebook? Because I journal. No. Like my dad. At the beach. My dad's furious with my mom that she even wants to get a Facebook. She's like, what are you doing with the Facebook? He's like, you're too old to get on Facebook. Yeah, you know what else your mom is? Good looking. And your dad knows it and he doesn't want her on there. Because he knows that every guy that she went to high school with is probably searching her maiden name. 100%. Absolutely. My dad doesn't let my mom on it either. Your dad doesn't let your mom on it? Nope. And you know why? Really? No. He's on it. He's sniffing around. Yeah, he's like, you don't need to be on there. Well, why is it that he gets it and she doesn't? Why do you think? Your dad's on Facebook? Well, Todd genuinely does not want to. He is? I didn't know that. Yeah. I want to be his friend. He's on Facebook. Will he be my friend? Wow. You guys did not know. Are you friends with him? Yes. Does he type in Spanish or English? Oh my gosh.
Oh, my God. Oh, wow. And Facebook. I think he types in English and then he's got an app that translates it. Yes. For all of his English-speaking friends, all two of them, obviously. Are you a Mexican? I didn't know. I'm so happy. I didn't know. I'm going to find him. My dad doesn't, the thing is, my dad doesn't understand Facebook. It makes him mad that he doesn't understand it. So he doesn't want my, my mom already surpassed him. She's better at emailing and typing than him. Oh yeah. So he's already fed up with like, cause he's been on AOL since, you know, it was American online. You've got mailed. Yeah. So he's all mad that my mom's better than him. Well, here's the thing. My mom. Before, the Alzheimer's was always like a social butterfly, right? And always played sort of the naive bit. Like, what? I was just saying hi. You know? That's always been my mind. Give it that way. Get over here. Be quiet. Stop flirting with the McDonald's employee. Flirter. Slurter.
You're a harlot. You're being a harlot. You're being a get-off-of-face space. Now, here's what I can tell you about my mom, too. My mom, did you guys know that my mom was in magazines? Because she was real pretty. She's beautiful. In Japan. And so he didn't want her on any of that stuff. He didn't want anybody sniffing around. I can respect that. They're old school. Now, listen. They're literally old school. They went through some hard times. They've been around a while. The guy that's 25 or 30 and is like, I don't need Facebook. That guy. Come on. Come on. He's realistic. He already has enough on his plate. The real Tony Soprano, pal. I like it. It's a nuisance. You're so, you know. You're so sophisticated is what you are. I know plenty of people that aren't on Facebook, and they're not, like, plebeians. They can't be bothered with it. They are plebeians. They are not. Mike, would you like to go to the cafe? I brought the works of Milton to go over. Yeah. This is it. It's one of those deals where you're like, hey, let me Facebook you. You can't. I don't belong to Facebook. I'm not on it. Why?
Oh, wow. Really? Like what? For instance, yesterday I was writing prose. They do it because they just don't care. They don't want it. Are you calling Todd a preview? Yeah. No, Todd's not allowed. Todd's not a preview. He's not allowed. We call him. He's not allowed. He doesn't care. He doesn't want it. He does care. I find it appealing. He wants it. Todd! He wants it. Why don't you listen, Todd? Yes, I don't have time for it. In fact, I'm buffing my Supra today. And so I simply don't have time. No, he just doesn't care. I don't care. Why would I want to reconnect with... With old ball player friends from the minor leagues. Why? Or girls that thought I was cute in high school. Which was everybody. Every girl, by the way. My nickname, in fact, was Todd the God. I didn't get that nickname from going to bed by myself. I got it because you could bounce quarters off my butter. Much like Matt Commerce.
What? Who should get rid of his Facebook. No, he can keep it. You guys, Todd can have a Facebook. I don't care. Then let's design him. Let's get it. Do it right now. Fine. I don't know his email address. He says that everyone he wants to talk to, he talks to now. Yeah. So he doesn't need it. All right. Why are you guys making me feel like a monster? You're not a monster. You're not a monster. Excuse me. My husband is going to Vegas this weekend. I'm not doing that. I like it. I like it. I like it. I think it's pretty awesome that you're like, stop. She's not like that. Mikey likes that in a woman who's like, keep your hands on my hands. You should have married a black woman, dude. That's what you should have married. Rebecca's like, thanks, Wiz. Our friend Whitney does that bit. And I think it's hysterical. She'll be like, don't you be talking to me. And I'm like, I love it. I don't want Rebecca to do it, but I love it. Keep your hands off my man. Sienna's not being like that. Todd's not on there because he doesn't want to be on there. Todd can do whatever he wants. I don't tell him he can or cannot do anything. So he today can make a Facebook page. Yes.
He could have done it months ago, years ago. All right. Okay. Maybe I did. Maybe he really does. Maybe we misunderstood back when she said he's not allowed to have one. No, she never did. I always thought it was a bit. I said I didn't want him to have one. I always thought that the bit was is that he doesn't have a Facebook because you kind of don't really want him to. But it turns out, and I didn't know, it turns out that he's like, I don't really want one. He doesn't really want one, but I don't really want him to have one either. I don't want to be looking at comments. On his page, it's like, hey, I haven't seen you in 20 years. If I saw some dude sniffing around Rebecca's stuff, I would be all over it. That's what you're supposed to do. Like, white on rice. I would, too. You're a husband. You're a wife. There are so many people on Facebook now. I would say that. Yeah. I have a friend from high school that lives out here that just got on about two weeks ago. And everyone's blowing up his spot because everyone's been on it for so long that if Todd got on, everyone would rejoice and be like, Todd! All these people would come out of the woodwork and it would be annoying for Sienna. He has, you know, I really am friends with all of his friends. They've asked to be my friends. So if they want to see updates of like Sage or Jenna, I have all those pictures on there. They're not missing out. They talk to him on the phone. I'm going to play you guys something right now, okay? You're not. You're fine.
This is going to be controversial. Oh, no. So everybody calm down. Don't freak out. You're freaking out. Here we go. That's it. I'll see you later. Why are you setting it up like that? I ruined my life. I'm out. This is going to be a fight. I'm out. Listen. It will not be a fight. Won't it? It already is. Listen to what... You guys know who Brooke Burke is. She's very attractive. Oh, she's foxy. She's foxy. So she's not cute either. She was on Good Morning America, and here's what she said. You wrote something that many mothers will not admit. And that was how sometimes you feel about your children. Yes. Just explain. Yeah, you know, it was one of those, you know, scary naked truths. I call them in the book. And I revealed that I don't always like my children. And taken out of context, you know, that was actually on the back flap copy for a little bit. And I thought that could be really misinterpreted because I don't think most people are strong enough to understand that I love my children equally. I love them madly and deeply. But there are different things that I prefer with different children. And I've got a tween that, you know.
She has her moments. I've got a four-year-old that's just full of light and love and energy, and my son is bad to the bone sometimes, and my eight-year-old, you know, has her issues. But I love them all madly, but I think as a mother, you love your children differently, and you go through phases, and it's really about communicating and listening to them and figuring out what works with each child. So again, Brooke Burke says, listen, it's okay to not always like your children. Thoughts? Anybody? I have a thought. I don't have kids yet, but I agree with her. Yeah. I agree with her. I always like my kids. Jay, you've got four. Yeah, I've got four kids, and I love them. Sometimes I want to strangle them, but I still love them. But you still love them. Yeah, and I like them, too. I mean, even when they're in their worst moment, I can still feel the love. Yeah, see, love is an action.
Love is what you do. It's not what you feel, in my opinion. You can hate somebody, but you got to love them. Absolutely. Loving them is how you treat them. Let me take that back. You shouldn't hate anybody. You cannot like someone. That was wrong. You shouldn't hate anybody. That was hyperbole. David Ortiz. Stop thinking about middle school. No, that's a Red Sox. Oh, never mind. I thought you were talking about the bully. Well, Mark Parise. Roy Friend. Roy Friend. You remember Roy Friend. The guy that beat you up. I hate him. You don't hate him. I love him like a brother. You don't have to like somebody, but you should love them. Sure. Go ahead. Couldn't that go towards your spouse, too? You're not always going to like your spouse at times, but you still love them. Yeah, but the thing is that there's this stigma. in the United States that when you talk about your kids, you can't say anything, you know, that is unequal or that's, you know. Yeah, that's true. That is true. You're a monster if you're like, well, I like my oldest son, but my youngest one, eh. Kind of irritating. So it's not the sharpest tool in the shed. You can't say that. You're not allowed to say that. No way. I think you can. I've heard people say it. All of them equally. But I'm always like, hey, hey. Listen, I said the other day.
My son Jake and my son Luke are, first of all, Jake is one of the most handsome little boys I've ever seen. He's four. I think he's so handsome. Yes. Lukey, I think, is just the cutest kid in the world. My son Ryan, his teeth are jacked up. It's because of the bottle. It's because of the bottle. He's been sucking on the bottle. You can't say that. You can't speak like that. You're not allowed to say that. You're a monster. You're not allowed to say that. First of all, their teeth and they... will be fixed. Those teeth will fall out. They're going to fall out. They're going to get it fixed. Right now, jacked up grill. Oh, boy. Chewing rocks. Looks like he's been chewing on cement. But you know what am I going to do? No, his teeth are cute. They're very white. You don't need to say anything about his teeth, but he's adorable. Not really. He's got his teeth. Oh, my God. Hey, listen. Mike, you can't speak like that. I love him. I know you do. But he's just a... I get it. You guys. I get it when they're older and they're like a little... And they're like, wait a minute. I'm not saying anything about his character. In fact, his character is probably the sweetest of all of them. And I mean it. Yeah. The sweetest of all of them. Don't say anything about his looks. Yeah, just say he's the sweetest. Don't have anything nice to say. Oh, for goodness sake. Don't say anything. It's not like I just bust out and I'm like, oh, guys, since we're talking about supermarket bread, let me talk about the grill on Ryan.
It's not that. It doesn't matter. You're still seeing it, and you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to. My skin's crawling. M1 Jennifer from Carlsbad. Hi, this is Jennifer. Hi, go ahead. You're on the air. Hi, well, I just wanted to make some remarks about the interview and the book that Brooke Burke has written, and I completely agree, and I'm so grateful that... You know, someone came out and gave us moms kind of a reality check. How many kids do you have? I have two. I have a son and a daughter. Do you feel differently about them? Well, yeah. I mean, of course, my son is a sophomore at Houston. And he's really, oh, he just, I get it. My wits end with him. And he has always been like that. He's selfish. He just expects everyone to give, give, give to him. And in opposition, my daughter is completely humble, gracious, giving. And I love my son, don't get me wrong. I love him deeply. I just don't...
I just don't like him. Hey, listen. The truth is that that is the reality. That's a reality. And people freak out about it. I'm upset. Why? I'm not upset. I'm not upset with that. I'm upset just because... They're older. You can not like things about them, but you cannot say you don't like them. Like, I don't like that he's selfish. That's fine. But saying, I don't like him, not fine. Maybe she don't like him. Maybe she don't like being around him. Well, then maybe it has to do with the parenting. Oh. Oh. Maybe it's him. Maybe it's him. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. Maybe he's just a turd. I understand. Your child, you'll have fights and stuff, and they won't like you at times, and you won't like them at times. I get that. But just saying, I don't like them, that's cold. What if you got a cousin? You don't like him. But you love them. You love them. That's different than your kid. Your child. It's your responsibility to raise that child as a good person. What about a sibling? That's different. And I agree because of where Sienna's coming from. That's your child. And as long as he's a sophomore, he's still in her house. She still has time to teach him to be the kind of person. She said he's in. Where is he? He's in Houston. Okay. He's in college. Oh, sorry. I don't know. Question for you, Jennifer. Huh? I got a question. Okay.
Do you, true or false, do you love him? True. Would you walk a mile in the, what's this phrase? Would you walk a mile, I don't know. Would you take a bullet? Would you take a bullet for him? Absolutely would. I absolutely would. You'd lay your life down for him. Yes, I'd love him, you know, my soul. All of my soul. Yeah, but he's kind of a pain in the butt. Every kid is in their own way. I'm sorry. Your daughter may be really polite, but maybe she's not a good student and doesn't care about school and whatever. Maybe she's horrid. But he's a man now. You never know. That's the difference, too. I mean, if he's a sophomore, he's, what, 19, 20, somewhere around there? Yeah, in college. So he's a man. She doesn't like the man that he's... Well, he certainly doesn't act like a man. Yeah. Right. And that's the deal. I mean, one of them has their moments.
The other one makes it a lifestyle. Yeah. That's who they are. Yeah, dude. I mean, you had to change. You had to change who you were. I had to change who I was. My parents, Sienna, you've met my parents. Lovely people. Dynamite parents. So sweet. Dynamite. They, I'm sure at times were, like, because I was bad. And I was mean. I was mean to them. And, I mean, it kills me to this day. I'm sure there were times when my mom was like. I can't stand. I don't want you home. There were times, but not all the times. I'm saying it's fine for a parent to say right now I don't like you because you're being a little D. What about this? To say I don't like you is different. Alright, I'll try to put some sunshine on it for you. I need sunshine. Is it possible that M1 Jennifer doesn't like her son, loves him, doesn't like him, but there is a chance that one day He's not such a pain in the butt. Yeah. And then she likes him in addition to loving him. But right now, she doesn't really like him. Maybe you work on liking him. Maybe he works on being better. What? He could work on being better. Yeah. Kids go through a phase, though, for sure. And another thing, too, is if you feel that way, then he knows you feel that way. And it's not.
It's not a good feeling to feel that you're favoring a sibling. You know, like maybe you favored your daughter more than him and that's why he's like that towards you. Always? You know, because here you're saying he's a little D, but my daughter is great and sunshine and humble. Listen. I'm telling you, kids know. I got cousins, okay? And one of the cousins, let's say there's three cousins, okay? To the aunt and the uncle. One of them is... Sure been in that phase for over 40 years. Yeah. Some phase. And you know what he does? He points the finger at everybody else and goes, it's their fault. It's their fault. The truth is it's his fault. Yeah. He wants to point a flashlight and he wants to hold a flashlight instead of hold a mirror. And the other kids, well, you know, they're just, they got their moments, but they're a good kid, you know? Yeah. They're a good kid. Sienna, you're a good kid.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely screwed up a lot. You had your moments. Right. But I know that I just. You're not a pain in the butt. Aren't there people that are like, aren't there kids out there that are genuinely bad to their core? I mean, like, aren't there bad people out there that are just bad dudes? But doesn't that kind of affect, I mean, parenting? Well, see, but she has a daughter. No, she has a daughter that is a good kid. So she obviously knows what she's doing. Maybe the second time around. She figured it out. Listen, I'll tell you, man. Like, that's why you hear of some parents that are really great parents. Their kids go on to be mass murderers. Yeah. It's because that's who they are. They're just, they're born that way. They're bad. They're bad at their core. Yeah. Not to say that her son is bad. He's not a murderer. Right now she's saying he's selfish and stuff like that. Things in his character that she just doesn't like. My main problem is just. I need her to say, I don't really like him right now. But her saying, I don't like him, that's what's totally different to me. He's always been this way. Do you feel that way, Jennifer? Like you could even say that? Well, I mean, he's been in this developmental stage or phase for, oh gosh, about since he was eight. What a tough road for her. Yeah, I mean, I feel for you. I just, I don't know. I have all her time with it. Some people are who they are. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it.
Jennifer. Yeah, some people are just who they are. She's got big rocks to call in and say that. Well, because he's in Houston. Come over and burn her house down. What? It's so funny, man. Yesterday, or even last night, I'm looking at Luke, and Luke is in the living room playing by himself, totally into this toy, and he's perfectly happy doing that. But Rye, he needs to be like somebody's got to be paying attention. He's not content hanging out, just doing his thing. Now, I'll tell you something about Luke. I'm playing with Ryan on the couch. Okay. Or no, no, no. Excuse me. Luke is patting the couch, which means I want you to put me on the couch and throw me around. All right. So I do. I put him on the couch. I start throwing him around. Rye sees this and he wants in.
So I pick Rye up, put him on the couch, start throwing him around. This is the way that Luke is wired. If I have to share you, I'd rather just not be a part of this. And he gets off the couch and he goes away. He bails. He bails. He's like, if he has to be here, conversely, Ryan is completely content sharing the time. Wow. Fascinating. But not Luke. That's fascinating to me. Some people are like that, like more of like a... They'll always have one best friend instead of a group of friends who they hang out with. Yes. Absolutely. It's fascinating to me. It's people are just, you know, you're born and you're wired a certain way. And that's that. Tom Tom Tunes is next. And we have calls on this. So if you're calling, you can hold and we'll take your phone calls. We'll play some Tom Tom Tunes if you want to play. So call us right now. 570-1949. This is New Red. Chris Isaacs ever kissed a girl. That's honey. Yeah, it is. That is honey from the hive dripping into your mouth and your ears. You know why it's so great? It's 100 years old and it's still good. This came out in the early 90s or something. Oh, it's a hot video. Oh, yeah, it was. I used to listen to this and pretend like I was in the video with him. You must have been like 8 years old. Gross. I remember my dad playing.
it. The outside patio speed. Yes. Just in the summer. Jay remembers babysitting Chris Isaac. Yep. I think he was there for the delivery. He's here for the conception. He's to date his mom. That's Chris Isaac's mom. I watched him do it. Somebody had to run the video camera. A chair in the corner. With black socks up to my knees. Smoking a cigarette I had a beret on. Sell you the videotype. It was like Cruella DeVille's cigarette. I had on long white gloves. I wore a fur coat. Made of purple. He wore a shimmy boxers. Yeah, I did. I had my shimmies on. I had wearing socks that had suspenders. Just watching Chris Isaac be...
Beautiful. Only Jay can turn something into a joke about being there when Chris Isaac's parents had sex. It's so gross. Okay. There are people that are holding right now that want to talk about this whole thing, man. Is it politically incorrect to say, I don't like my kid. I love him. I just don't like him. So there are people that are just dying to talk about this. And we're going to get to those right now, but I got to give you the information about what we're going to be doing, okay? Yes. Yes. The M1 Valentine's meet and greet. You'll get a lover. You'll get a lover. You'll get a lover. Friday, February the 11th at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. Yeah. Located at 930 Market Street downtown from 5 to 7 p.m.
Happy hour prices are going on, plus extra drink specials for singles that come out to mingle. And we'll put some tickets and prizes to raffle out there. Yes. And here's the cool thing. Anybody's welcome to come, but we're really wanting the singles to come out, and singles will be identified. We're going to give you a band that you'll wear, and it identifies that you're a single. It's not... you know, something that really stands out and it's more a band. You walk up to a girl and she's got one on. Okay, cool. You'll know if she's... Wiener time. Available. I want you guys to do it. I'll read the video camera. If you have them in the East Village Tavern in Bowl, too. It's so fun. It is my favorite place. It's going to be a good time. It is so fun there. It's a blast. Should we announce that now? Yes. Yes! What? I didn't see it. Woods might not have been in here when we decided this. Oh, yes. Really? I hate you all. Yeah, Jay. Booyah. Jay has one major fear. We've been holding it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We didn't get to it during Mikey-thon. I know. I was so blessed. Singing publicly. Oh, God. So we're going to have him do karaoke.
I can't wait. When was this decided? Where was I? You were probably in the bathroom. Dude, it gets better. It gets better. How does it get better than that? I'll tell you how it gets better. It gets way better? Because what we're going to do is we're going to have the singles. Dance while he sings. A love song. Anybody. Anybody can come and dance. Doesn't even have to be singles. I mean, it's just that when he sings, we're going to invite people out onto the dance floor to enjoy themselves while he sings. So I get to pick my own song, though. It has to be a love song. Yeah, you guys get to pick your own song. I'll make it a love song. We pick it. No, no. He's going to pick something from the 1800s. No. What is Jay? No, no, no. You guys all pick your own stuff. Oh, Jimmy Crackorn and I don't care. Jimmy Crackorn and I don't care. There, that's a love song. No, no. I'll make it a love song. I'll make it a love song. What if he came up with, like, top five that he would sing and must vote in? Trust me. Jay, it has to be a hit. It'll be a hit. Jay. M1's vote on it.
No. No, I get to pick it. M1's vote on it. I need to know what's in my range. You give us five and they vote. That's true. He should know what's in his range. I need to know. If it's in my range. I get that. I want it to be a surprise for you guys as well. What if it's fantastic? He's going to pick something we don't know. No, I guarantee you it will be a hit. I'm telling you, this is a hit by the Whigs. No, no. It's the Fleet Foxes. It's on their new record. Really good. I'll make it something that would fall into Mikey's realm of love for music. You guys don't know who the Disco Dannys are? Have you ever heard of the Blue Mountain Brothers? Hello. String Band. They're so good. It's the most saddest slow song ever. I would kill to hear him sing this song. Write the next line. Oh, I want the truth to be said. And I see something like this, Jay. Yeah.
Let me tell you something. I don't like to dance. I will get Rebecca out there. Oh, yeah. I will get her out there, and I will love on that one. So you want it to be a slow dance? Yes. Yes. Oh, you worried me, Jay? We're picking it. No, no. I thought it'd be like a dance. I'm going to be Frog and Molly. Like a Justin Timberlake. Mambo number five. I thought we were going to do the Macarena. Justin Timberlake? The Macarena. I ain't going to dance a macaroni. Did you just say Justin Timberlake? Yes, he did. I'm bringing sexy back. There you go. That's a hit. It's got to be a slow song. We're picking. Slow song. You told me you loved me. Why did you leave me all alone? I'm not a girl. Not yet. That's Brittany, Jay. I can't wait for this. This is the greatest victory ever. I'm dancing out there. Oh, yeah. Come on, y'all. Get on the floor. Yes. Go, Kim. Go, Kim. Look at Jasper. Look at Jasper. Perfect. Oh, yeah. Keep up with me. Come on. Shake your butt. What is wrong with you? Greatest woman ever. Only to one terrible t-shirt.
Second only to Wood's t-shirt. Right when she said it, she was like, hit that dumb mic. Oh my gosh. Wood's second only to you tearing your t-shirt. 23 years of radio. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Oh my God. All I know is. Smelly pirate hooker. If you are listening. Oh, my God. I don't want to say that. I don't want to say that. Wait, what's the last thing that they heard before the delay? Yeah, call us. We had to hit the dump button. We had to hit the dump button because Lauren got so into it. Man. She got so into being Jay. She yelled out something filthy. And then she started pointing. She started pointing at the dump button. Like, you have to dump that. You have to dump that. Oh, my God. All of us like, pause, Jonathan shakes our head, Woods dives into the beanbag chair. I hid in the beanbag chair. Dive.
From here. A full dive. I got taken over by the spirit of Jay. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Phenomenal. Oh, my gosh. I hope you're in delay. Oh, L.O.B. That was a moment. Oh, my gosh. That was a moment. I'm really hot. You got to be careful when you get a little Jay in you. Oh, my gosh. The dirtiest birdie in the room. It wasn't even... Dirtiest birdie in the room. She couldn't even help herself. No. Hey! When I saw her say that, I went spiral. As soon as a word left my map, I pointed to the dumpster. That was the best part. She stands up, kicks her chair back. Dump it. She was dancing as she said it. It was the greatest. Wow. Sorry, Mike.
Oh, my God. That was such gold. That's the end of that bit. That was hysterical. Anyway, Jay will be singing karaoke. Great. Our meet and greet. Yeah, Valentine's meet and greet. February the 11th, East Village Tavern and Bowl, 930 Market Street downtown, 5 to 7 at night, happy hour prices, Lauren O'Brien telling you what she just said. Oh, boy. And we'll put some tickets and prizes and a raffle together for you. It's insane. So fun. And it'll be good times. Oh, my God. Can't wait. It was a great moment. Really hot. I feel like I'm going to get fired. Now we hit the dumb button. That was so funny. Well, we got all these people holding for this. I know. We need to go to them. They've been waiting for a while. Should we take them? I feel bad. I know. I do, too. There's like 10 minutes on hold. M1 Fish from San Diego. Thanks for waiting, bro. Wait. Nope. I hope it's bro. Uh-oh. No, it's cool. Fish is not a bro. It's no biggie. Hey. A female bro is a bra. I'm a bra. What's up, bra? Hey, so I have a killer relationship with my 13-year-old. Of course, he's a jerk sometimes. And I make it really clear that when he's out, and I think it's my responsibility as a parent to say, I don't like you right now. You're being a jerk. And when I do that, it's teaching him how not to grow up to be a jerk. You almost said something else.
I will say this. I do disagree with that part. I will disagree with that part. I don't think that we need to tell our kids that they're being an a-hole. I don't feel like we need to tell our kids that they're being, I don't know. You don't? That surprises me. I do too. No, no, no, no. I absolutely do. But how do we expect our kids to not call other kids a-holes when we're calling them a-holes? No, I don't call them an a-hole. I say you're unattractive to me right now. You're not attractive. Your behavior is total. You're ugly. You're fat. You're disgusting. You disgust me. You're fat. You have a double chin. You look like Joe the Hutt. You have more chins than a Chinese phone book. You're undateable. You're undateable. No one will ever make love to you. Your hair is so greasy. You don't smell like OB, but you smell like BO. I totally attack his behavior because the core and essence of who he is is awesome.
The core essence of who you are is awesome. No woman will ever date you. You'll probably never get married, and you're hideous to look at. I mean, my mom has said to me, I don't like you right now. And as long as there's a right now at the end of it, I'm okay with it. But if they just say, I don't like you, or even think that I don't like my child, I don't like that. And that's the thing, man. I mean, as parents, you're going to screw up, man. You're going to screw up. I mean, you're going to say something one time you don't, or a couple times. You wish you didn't. And as kids, you're going to screw up, too. Yeah. You know, your kids are going to screw up and they're going to disappoint you and hurt your feelings. They're going to get you. They're going to get you real good. M120 from North Park. What's up, Pam? What's going on? Oh, yeah. What's going on? Y'all been dipping it like Pam? Dipping it like a P. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Dipping it like a P. I love it. Now, here's my thing. It's just like parents. Just because you got a title. Doesn't make you a good parent. Doesn't make you a good mom or dad. Just because you got the title of being a kid. Maybe you're not a good kid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's the same thing. Yeah, I agree. Especially that lady who called earlier. Kid's 18. She has the right not to say or to say, I don't like him. He's a grown man. But before that, you say you cannot say that. See, I don't think she needs to say that to the kid, period. I mean, that kid is in Houston. He doesn't ever have to know that his mom.
That hurt her internal feelings. I disagree. I disagree as well. I'm sorry. I just, the thought of, I mean, and my baby is young. So maybe I have a lot to learn. But just the thought of ever thinking, I don't like my child seems very cold to me. However. You love them. Well, right. I love them. Of course. But I want to like my kid. And if I don't, then I would think that I did something wrong as a parent. Yeah. Sometimes you're rolling the dice though, right? I don't know. I mean, I've had four really good kids. At times, they have been a challenge. And at that point, I'd say, hey, this is not the way to behave. Do not do this. Finn, right now, he's at a stage where he's learning to spread his own wings. And he and his mother don't always get along. But he always knows he has to respect her. And he always has to behave in a manner that, you know. And he will act out. But then he'll come back and say, I'm sorry. And that's because you raised him in a way that he knows to say sorry and to figure it out. Yeah. Yes. Here's the deal. There are some other kids out there that have been raised and told, you know, you will do this and they won't. When I was five, my dad got into this thing where he said that I had to call my, I had to say yes ma'am to my mom. I refused to do it. Really? I was five. Wow. And he gave it to me pretty good.
I still refused. Look at you. Stick it to the man. Seems out of character for you. It was very out of character. But there was something about it that I couldn't do. I don't know. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I was five. I couldn't do it. And I was willing to take the repercussions of it. Look at you. And my dad, I think my dad sort of said, you know, I'm going to let this one go. You know, I'm going to let this one go. And I think that my dad rethought it and thought it was a weird decision to have me do it. But I guarantee your dad never thought, you know, I don't like Mike. No, no, no. He thought, well, wait a minute. I don't like Mike right now. Absolutely. But just like L.O.B. said, she goes, man, it seems really out of character for you. Well, it was. It was extraordinarily out of my character because my character was. Pretty obedient, not pretty obedient, a very obedient kid with a sweet heart. He knew it. He knew from the time I was a little kid that I had a very sweet heart. And I told my dad before he ever said to me, I told him one time, I remember where we were in the car. I said, I love you, dad. And I don't think he'd ever had a son say that to him. And I was dead silent in the car for a minute. I don't think he knew what to do. And he finally, and he said.
I love you, too. And I know it made him uncomfortable, but I think he liked it, too. And I think he always had a connection with me, my dad. I think my dad's always had this connection with me because I've always been that kid that came up to my dad when he was sitting on the couch. I would come up to him, and I would sit on his lap, and I'd start doing voices. Tickled him. Tickled him. I could just see it. It tickled him. It tickled him. I would do this thing where... when i was five take my little hands and i would grab a hold of his beard and i would pull just ever so slightly and then i would pull to the point where it would start to hurt and it would make him laugh so hard and i remember it to this day from the time i was five i had that guy yep i knew it you could still do that mikey i could still do it just jump right in his lap i knew from the time that i was five that i had that guy i remember one time I was 14. Another story I've never told on the air. And my dad said something. I don't remember what it was, but it really hurt my feelings. And I don't remember. I don't even remember what it was, but it really hurt my feelings. And we were supposed to go take a trip, a day trip. My mom, dad and me, we were supposed to go take a day trip that was on the weekend. And I refused to go. And I decided that instead I was going to do the chores that were supposed to wait. So I was mowing the lawn.
And I remember my dad going out there and saying, I'm sorry, you know, please stop. And I was a brat because my feelings had gotten hurt. And I was like, no, I'm not going and I'm mowing this lawn. And so he left with my mom because he knew he's not coming. You know, he got you know where you could tell. Yeah, there's nothing I'm going to do. He's not going to change his mind. Went and stayed with an uncle that night because I was scheduled to go stay with the uncle. And I remember that weekend. This will sound weird. Falling in love with my dad, you know, just loving my dad. And the thing that made me love him was him saying, I'm sorry. A dad saying, I'm sorry. Whatever it was, I just had this immense feeling of love. And I remember I got home from spending the night at my uncle's and I hugged him the next day. And I said, you know, I'm sorry that I was, you know.
That I didn't go yesterday, and he said he was sorry. Now, when moments like that happen with a parent and a kid, you know something special. There's a bond, you know? That doesn't exist with every kid. It just simply doesn't. It's not the fault of the child. It's not the fault of the parent. But certain bonds exist between certain kids, and you may have a different kind of bond with a different kid. Maybe it's a bond over fishing, and you don't have that bond with this kid. But you love them nonetheless. You just feel differently about them. That's why when my dad told me, and I even put it on my Facebook, my dad said to me last week, we were talking on the phone. We were hanging up. And he said, it was the day that the article came out in the newspaper. And as we were hanging up, my dad said, I'm really proud of you, son. And I haven't heard my dad. I don't know that I've ever heard him say that. So powerful. And I... felt so good. Yeah. And it made me so happy. And it made me so, oh my gosh, I felt like I was a little boy. And my dad was saying he was proud of me. It was such a great feeling. Yep. So, you know, but we got different relationships with our kids. That's all right. It's not nothing, nothing bad. It's just we have different relationships. We have Tom Tom tunes to do. Hoyle.
is going to come in because he did an American Idol audition. And so we will give you that in just a few things. First, come back on the air and have your mouth full of bagel. Yes. If you're just tuning in, we announced the Valentine's meet and greet. Yeah. And what it is is singles. You can come out, hang out with the Mikey Show, East Village Tavern and Bowl. It's going to be on Friday the 11th. That's next Friday? Is that right? Yes. Next Friday. Correct. So five to seven. Happy hour prices, drink specials, and us hanging out and you meeting pretty people. Everybody's welcome. Can we bowl? I want a bowl. Oh, yeah. Yes. Can we bowl? I want a bowl. Yeah. Okay. Loser has to do something. What? Wow. We'll figure it out. Low score. I'm already doing something for no apparent reason. Just for a pleasure. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L-O-B.
That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. Maybe we get him hired full time. Maybe we do. Maybe I give up some of my salary. What? Maybe I've told Garrett a thousand times. Maybe I have too. Chris is like, how do you do that? He can't. He can't school. What's more important? School or our coffee? My oatmeal. Chris walks in and we're like, Chris. He got a seat for him right here, sweetly. How would he screen phone calls if he sat there? What do you mean? He's so good. I just love him. I want him close to me. Wow. This is really a day for coming out for you. You are really strange today. You're a little odd with the guys today. You don't worry about it. Okay. You can kiss me to death if I do. I want to hug you. I want to tickle you to death. Let's have a tickle fight. Smother you with kisses. That was over the line. Hello.
Y'all, I'm going to play this for you, all right? We figured. Hoyle. Yay. Hi, Hoyle. Station manager, Hoyle Henready. Are you? Hey, bud. Hey, bud. Sorry, pal. Boss. Hey, pal. Hey, chief. Hey, chief. She ain't got it right. I thought she said boss. That's right. Woods. She knows how to play the game with a fake manager. Yeah. I'm not a fake manager. I've filled out request forms for vacations, paternity, leave. What's that? You don't even have a kid. He's talking about me. No, you filled it up for Woods. Think it's a brick over there or a wood over there? Talking about Woods. Yeah. What, your baby bump getting too big over there or something? Well, we're adopting. So you got to take time off? Yes. We have to go get it. We have to go get him. Men are supposed to drink scotch and go to work, all right? I don't really drink anymore and I do go to work every day, so feast. You feast. And don't tell the kid to feast. You're not the kid. I'm the kid. You are not the kid. And you're not the boss either. There doesn't just have to be one kid. Yes, there does. That's what I go by now. I do. You're weird. You're just stealing my stuff, dude. You go to Starbucks and say it's for the kid. I do. You're a clown then. I'm not a clown. You go by the clown.
I'm the kid, you're the clown. I'm not the clown. Yes, you are. You think you're not, but you are. When I sing karaoke, I tell them, kid's coming up, kid's going to knock them in. Oh, my God. It's the same thing I do when I sing karaoke. Is that what your glass says at Gordon Biersch? The kid? It's not a glass. Whatever. It's a stein. Stein. Y'all are so funny, and you make fun of Hoyle because Hoyle can't sing, and you make fun of Hoyle because of his karaoke. But did any of you get accepted to Hollywood? For what? You don't get accepted to Hollywood. Yeah. Hollywood doesn't just accept people. It's not like a college. Right. You don't apply. I got put through to Hollywood. I went to the American Idol audition. You did? Yes. Whoa. Wow. Want to hear it? Yeah. Yeah. You know that? How are you? I am wonderful, J-Lo, and it is wonderful to be here. Fantastic. What are you going to sing? I will be singing today a song called Open Arms, and here we go. Lying beside you, here in the dark, feeling your heartbeat with more.
Softly you whisper. How could our love be so blind? Dig for it. That's it. That's all I got. Got a powerful voice. Thank you. You like being up in that power zone, huh? I do because it's my natural reaction. When you got real soft, it was so beautiful. The jump from one to the other was also really seamless. Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you. Steven? Nice. Beautiful. You had great ups and downs volume-wise with your voice. Thank you. I'd say yes. Oh, my gosh. I would say yes, too. Oh, my gosh.
I say yes. Wow. Just when I thought you were full of it. That was fantastic. Congratulations. Thank you. What are you going to say to Ryan Seacrest? I don't know. I haven't planned anything out. I'm not that type that tries to plan ahead. I just like to live in the moment. The kid doesn't like to just do it. Whatever. I like to live in the moment. He's not single anymore, you know. Who isn't? Ryan Seacrest. I'm not gay. Neither is he, apparently. Who said he was gay? He's dating some... Julianne Hough. Julianne Beard. She was on Dancing with the Stars. I didn't want to crush your spirit. You don't date a girl if you're gay. Sometimes you do. Yeah, if your name is Melissa Etheridge. Yeah. But if you're a guy, you don't date a girl if you're gay. John Travolta, married one.
No, he ain't gay. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Those dudes ain't gay. Rock Hudson? No. He was married to a woman. He wasn't gay, though. Yes, he was. He was? Yeah. Steve Woods? Really. Oh, wow. Steve Woods did talk about BFMC this morning. A lot. He's got a nice body. What do you want? Oh, wow. So there's a kid. The kid? I do. Thank you. I'm a little chubby. You're not the kid. You don't have a nice body. Kid's been working out real good, real sweetly. You're disgusting. He's just stealing all your bits. I'm not stealing them. I've been doing them. You've been doing the kids. Since Mobile. B.S. I'm proud of you, Boyle. I'm going to Hollywood. Do you give the Mikey Show a shout out? No. They may be bringing him there. You know how they do those bits where they have like the bad people. Like William Hung. Like William Hung. Can't bring me down, buddy. I'm not trying to. And you know what else? What? You ain't going to be saying all that when I get signed a big record contract and I sell millions of records. Well, the good news is you'll be out of our hair. So more power to you. Godspeed. That's fine. We hope you go far. That's fine. Break a leg. Literally break a leg. Both of them. Kid don't break no legs. Oh, my God. It's a nimble on his feet.
Stop doing that. Why don't you stop saying the T word on the air? Yeah. Did you get a call from the person? That's all I got on my voicemail. 19 messages from Ken Layton. Well, we hit the dump button in time. What about the FCC? Have they called yet? Not yet, but you know they're going to. Wait until I have to talk to Rick about it. It's a good thing he works for me. You work for Rick. You work for Rick R. Jackson. You don't even work for him because I still haven't even seen your desk. Rick is my underling. And he considers me a mentor. I hope Rick walks in here right now and cuts you down to size. I'm telling you, when he first started working here, he pulled me aside and he said, I just want to thank you for all that you've taught me. Never started after him. About managing people, about sales. Started after him. I want to thank you for being a mentor. I want to thank you for being like a father. He doesn't like you. Wow. I want to thank you for being like a big brother. He wishes he would leave. I want to let you know that I admire what you are as a person. There's a box with your stuff in it. And I said, thank you, Rick. That means a lot to me. He said, who are you? And then he said, our program director, Garrett.
would really like to meet you. Garrett doesn't know you exist. And I said, I will get to Garrett when I get to Garrett. And he said, he's standing outside. He's got an old issue of Radio and Records magazine that he would like you to sign. Wow. And I said, if he has a Sharpie, I will do it. And you did it. I did it and then I took a picture with him. Nice. Nice. It's framed. It's in his office. Y'all don't realize how popular I was before I came here. I guess so. I was a big deal in radio back in the 80s. I'm sure. More talked about probably than any other person in radio. Wow. Well, 25 years ago. Well, there was a few bumps in the road and a couple of hookers and some cocaine. A few bumps up your nose, too, it sounds like. I don't like to refer to it like that. Bottom line is, the kid's here, the kid's listening. Get out of here. I love oil. 570-1949. Let's do some TomTom tunes. Oh, no. Yeah, why not? You may think with songs you're super. You recognize them right on quite the same. The lyrics are read by the... But now she's gone first. Let's see.
All right, we got M1 Ron on the line. Are you there, Ron? Yes, I am. You ready to play some Tom Tom tunes? All right, buddy. All you need to do is in 20 seconds identify the lyrics that the Tom Tom girl is reading. And if you can do so, then you will title an artist win what, Jay? They're going to win a pair of tickets to see CeeLo Green at Flux. All right, here we go. Tom Tom girl, take it away. And I do believe it's true. There are roads left in both of our shoes. But if the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too. So brown eyes, I hold you near. Because you are the only song I want to hear. A melody softly soaring. Can you give me title or artist on that? Thank God, that's a hard... I'm going to say, I don't know, Mariah Carey. That is wrong. Incorrect. It was not Mariah Carey. It was actually Death Cab for Cutie. Love that song. That was a hard one. You're not familiar with this song, Mike? How could you not know this song? I ain't out loud. It was one of the top songs of 2008. Of course it was. M1, Big J from Oceanside. How are you? Hey, what's going on? Not too much. You ready to give this a shot?
Yeah, give me an easy one. All right. That's getting easier than Death Cab for Cutie and Soul Meets Body. Here we go. 20 seconds starting now. Hey, come on, try a little. Nothing is forever. There has got to be something better than in the middle. But me and Cinderella, we put it all together. We can drive it home with one headlight. Title or artist to win? No idea. That was The Wallflowers and One Headlight. Is that Bob Dylan's son? Yes, Jacob. He's very handsome. Woods! All day. He is very handsome. Sorry about that, buddy. M1, Larry from La Mesa. Are you ready? I am. Good morning, all. Good morning. Good morning. You're listening to the lyrics. You have 20 seconds to figure out title or artist to win. Here we go.
Hello, Gehete. Let your brain breathe. Believe there's always more. Ow. Don't pull that thing out unless you plan to bang. Bombs over, Bahigadad. Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something. Bombs over, Bahigadad. Title or artist to win? Yeah, Outkast. Bam. Oh, yeah, it was. I only cheated on you. To myself. That I loved you. That you were really the one. And I figured it out, you are. One time, didn't mean nothing. Didn't mean a thing. Don't even know her name. I remember she was blonde. Giant boobs. And I know that once I made passionate love to that woman. Twice. That wasn't you. I know now, girl, there is only one girl for me. Once at night.
once in the morning before I left. You guys are ruining the gorgeous song. But it was no big deal. And she didn't mean nothing. We're just playing the piano right now. Girl, since we being honest, but not that much happened. Use your badge. Or don't, girl. Actually, don't. Just know you're the only woman. No. Today. If there was... You asked me the other day, Woods. Uh-huh. You were asking me about concerts. You said, Chris Cornell... I love Chris Cornell. You said, dude, he's playing acoustic. Will you go? I said, no. Not a chance. God. It takes so much to get me to go to a concert. If boys to men were playing... Oh, yeah. If boys to men were playing, no doubt in my mind.
I would be good. Could you get us backstage passes? No. I don't have connections. But I'm an old woman. I was fired from Clear Channel. I want to give a shout out to my beautiful wife, Jamie. This one's for you. I love you. I'm going to just take a $3 million radio station and use it as personal. I'll request breakfast hour. I love you. I'm thinking about you. Maybe you make a phone call when we're on break. I can do that. Maybe you Facebook her. She's just having a tough day, so I just wanted her to know I was thinking about her. Maybe text her. Yeah, I did that. It means more. My boy Jared from createyourdesignonline.com. That guy can make a website for you. He can make business cards for you. He can do everything. And he's accredited by the Better Business Bureau. How about that?
He's the man. He is the man. Best at what he does. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Pearl Jam, by Norrell. Great record. What's on it? A bunch of stuff you probably don't know. No hit song on there? I don't think they had a hit off that record. Maybe nothing as it seems. All right. We don't know the deep tracks, you plebe. I love that record. I can't think of what's on it. Break or fall. Okay. I have a email here that I want to read to you that we are going to do because it sounds kind of fun. Mikey, my husband and I just joined a gym and I've noticed he has a questionable workout routine. He only goes on the treadmills. I think it's safe to say that that is a female favorite. And I'm almost positive he...
only is on it to check out the girls. Nice Bieber. Mike just threw down the email. Bye, Mike. It's okay, Mike. It's okay. You know, it's nothing bad. It is. He's just trying to be funny. Woods laughs like a hyena every time he does it. It's all right. It's okay. It's all right. Just, you know, good day. Yeah, it's a good day. Yeah. Continue this email. I love it. Pleasant. First L-O-B. You didn't say word that I had to hit the button on. I know. I know. I didn't mean that. Yeah. No. It says, can you call and give them a hard time for me? Oh, nice. Thanks, M1 Lana. I can.
Wait, so what, she just wants to call her husband who goes on the treadmill and checks out girls? Well, that's all he does is the treadmill. Basically, he walks. Yes. You can do that anywhere. You don't need a gym membership for that. Well, we won't, you know, if it's dark out. Jay wrote this girl back and got his name and number. Well done, Jay. And this is what I do. Jay got her name and number. Is it this bottom number? Yes, the bottom number. His name and his phone number. Yeah. So I'm going to call him and I'm going to say that I am from the gym. Prankle. And that... Prankle, prankle, prankle. We have a new fitness accountability program. I'm going to laugh. I've got to turn my mic off. I can't turn my mic off. Here we go. My name is Topher. Hello, can I speak to Topher, please? This is Topher. Hey, Topher. How you doing? My name is John, and I'm calling from... How you doing? Yeah, man. We just wanted to give you a call. We have a new program here that we're doing this month called Fitness Accountability. Okay. And it's kind of like something that we designed that will help you to stay in better shape. Is this extra money? Actually, no. It's included in your membership. We just started the program.
and it's included in your membership. The way that it works is as you use each machine, for instance, if you're on the elliptical, and then let's say you move over to three weights, and you were to do that within any given day or time. This allows us to be able to monitor your usage and kind of help you to design a better fitness plan. One of the things that we noticed with your usage, Topher, is that you only use the treadmill in general. Okay. And, you know, I just want to know if you think that maybe it might be a good idea for you to mix that up a little bit. Maybe you use the treadmill a little bit, maybe hit the free weights, maybe hit the, you know, the elliptical, maybe hit the Stairmaster, you know, because what is important for you to know is that to only use the treadmill. is not going to get you in any kind of shape. I didn't know what I was being watched. I kind of... It's not that we're watching as much as it is that we're monitoring our guests to be able to work out a fitness accountability program for them. That's cool. When a person is on a treadmill and basically that's all they do, we think, I don't know, they would probably want to know that they're paying upwards of $300.
a year or whatever, and they're doing one machine, it's probably not worth their while. Well, I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it. See, and that's the thing. Like I said, as a part of the fitness accountability, we've noticed you really haven't lost much weight. I mean, if that's your fitness goal. If your fitness goal is to lose weight or to gain lean muscle, you're doing neither at this point. And so we want you to be accountable. We want you to be able to be accountable. You know, we noticed that your gym membership started a while ago, and I believe you signed up with your wife. Yeah. And, you know, you're over at the treadmill each time. And, you know, just as an accountability, we're not seeing any weight loss. We're not seeing lean muscle. We're really not seeing any change whatsoever.
You know, and just between you and I, and I'm only telling you this as a friend. Okay. It's mostly girls at the treadmill. And I think that a lot of people might think that if there's one guy over at the treadmill when mostly girls are doing the treadmill, some people might go, oh, the guy's looking at the girls. He's a creep. I don't want you to be put into that category. Specs of it? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I totally understand that. But, you know, if that's the deal, you go to PB. But if you want to lose weight, gain lean muscle, you know, you've got to move around a little bit and not just be on the treadmill checking girls out. You know, and again, I'm telling you this as a friend, you know. Oh, okay. You know, man to man, mano a mano, just trying to share. You know, thoughts and feelings about, you know, losing weight and getting in shape. It's not easy these days, you know. And Topher, nobody knows that better than you. Yeah. That's the problem is that, you know, you came here bulky. Oh, yeah. You're leaving here bulky. You're bulky, you know. I mean, people here in the office have said, hey, bulky's on the treadmill again.
You know, that's the thing. We can't do a deal. I'm not kidding. Hey, listen, man to man. I didn't know that was going on. No, that's what I'm saying, you know. I mean, that's what I'm saying. You know, you've got to be doing more than just that treadmill or it's just not going to help, man. The treadmill's fun, man. Yeah. I mean, did you say that it's fun? Yeah, yeah. I like being over there. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. There's good-looking girls and all that stuff, but, you know, you're starting to look like a, you know, some sadistic pervert. I think that's maybe a little strong. Okay, like a creepy pervert, you know, or like a weirdo pervert. Weirdo. Just a weirdo. You're starting to look like a weirdo. You're starting to look like a weirdo. Oh, okay. Telford. Oh, my God. Telford. Oh, my God. Telford. This is Mikey. And you're on the air. Oh, my God. He goes, I'll cop to that. Sadistic pervert. Okay, that's fun. Oh, my gosh. I wish we had Angela on here. You're a saint, dude. You stayed on the line for a long time. Hey, Topher. Topher, your wife, Angela, your wife, Angela, wrote.
Yeah, she wrote us an email, and it says, my husband and I joined a gym, and I've noticed that he has a questionable workout routine. He only goes on the treadmills. I think it's safe to say that it's a female favorite, and I'm almost positive he is on it to check out the girls. Can you call him and give him a hard time for me? M1, I gave out a real name. She put it in parentheses. She didn't want me to give out her real name. Oh, Mike. She gave out her real name. Sorry. Her real name is Angela. No, no, no. That's the name we gave him. Oh, yeah. You know. Sorry. I knew I should have hung up. I knew I should have hung up. Oh, dude. I'm in trouble. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, that's gold. Go hit the weights, dude. And you're a sadistic weirdo creep. Maybe we hang out. You're a weirdo. You're a weirdo. He copped to being a weirdo. Yeah, okay. I'll cop to being a weirdo. Yeah, no, totally. And he said several times that. He really likes being over by the treadmill. It's fun. Who doesn't? Very social. That was fantastic. And listen, thank you, Topher. Hopefully you're not too upset at us and you can call. We love you. We love you. We love you. I'm dead. Thank you. You're not bulky. You're not bulky. You're not bulky and we don't call you bulky. Just chubby. Just chubby. No, we don't. We've never met you. All right, dude. Thanks a lot, man. You're so hot. Thanks for being a good sport. I love the show. Thank you.
That's great. What a good sport. Wow. That's awesome. Oh, wow. He has a lot of self-control. Yeah. I would have been like, excuse me. I can't believe you didn't get mad when you said people called, we call you bulky. Bulky's on this treadmill again. I would have bulky. I probably would have reacted the same thing. You would have. I'd have been like, you'd call me bulky. Oh. I would not have. Mikey, you would have been like, eh, I've been called worse. Yeah. Yeah, it's been, I've been called way worse than bulky. Holy cow. Wow. That was fun. Can we do that more? Yes, please. That was so fun. Send us stuff. We'll coup d'etat people for you. See, as long as they're cool and you know that your wife or your husband is going to be cool with it. Yeah. Mild-mannered people. Yeah. Or mild-mannered plebeians. Who is this? Let Eskimo Blue Waters in. Hi, Eskimo. Did you get your inhaler? You finished with your little games? Yes, I got my inhaler. Thanks a lot. I wrote on her Facebook page, hey, Judy, you left your inhaler here. Yeah, you blow up my spot. I blow up your spot? Yeah, put it on Facebook. What does that mean? It's not even my inhaler. It's my friend's. Why do you have it? Why would you carry your friend's inhaler? Because I stayed at his house and he left it in my purse.
And then I left it here. That is a bit of a stretch. The reason EBW is here again is because next week, you're going to do something really big that you believe will get national headlines. Oh, yeah. You haven't said what it is, but each day you want to come in and tell people that. It's going to involve me putting myself out on the line for a great cause right here in town within the county lines. Okay. And it's going to be huge. All right, well, I can't wait. Hopefully you're right about this. I feel like she's not going to be. Yeah. What? She kind of disappoints. No. Doesn't she? Yeah, a little bit. You want me to play something just to, because while I'm here? Do you guys ever wonder how she says that she lives in her car, but she's always, like, freshly dressed and... Yeah. I sometimes sneak into my dad's pool house to use his shower.
You don't need to sneak in when you live there. No, I don't. I jimmy the door open. You live in a multi-million dollar home owned by your father. It's a mansion in La Jolla. Sometimes I'll go to campgrounds to shower there. Sometimes I use Rick R. Jackson's shower. Our general manager has a shower in his office, but that's neither here nor there. And you've never used it. We'll sometimes use high school locker rooms. No, you don't. No, you don't. You probably use a shower that's completely made of Italian marble. With three or four shower heads. Rain shower. My dad's got some sort of granite slab in there, but I didn't do that. You didn't do it. If it were up to me, I'd just use a bucket and a hole. Is that right? Yeah. That's all I need, man. Keep it natural. Yeah, just keeping it real. Okay. Well, come back tomorrow and tell us the same nonsense. I'll tell you. I'll have more details tomorrow. Just tune in. You will? Yes. Good to talk to you. You're a good kid. Thank you. You had something. What did you want?
Did you want me to play a song or no? You're going to play a song? You have a song? I thought maybe that's why you called me in here. I didn't call you in here. You put on Facebook yesterday that I didn't ask. You said same day, same time, tomorrow. No, I never said it. Never said those words. Maybe it was Garrett. No. I think you dropped it. I would never say that. Maybe it was Rick. It wasn't Rick. It wasn't Rick. You've never met Rick. Maybe it was Hoyle. No, it wasn't Hoyle. Definitely went Hoyle. Well, I got a gig, so I'm going to go. All right. Well, thanks for coming in to Eskimo Blue Waters. All right, we are going to now tell you, and then we're going to discuss with you, the best Super Bowl feast food. And we're bringing in a Super Bowl feast food tomorrow. Nice. All right? Sure are. Just going to go around the room, tell what we're bringing, and see how you like it. You call us, by the way. Maybe we're missing something. All right, you call us and tell us if we're missing something. 570-1949. Wiz is pounding already. Of course mine's going to turn into a big deal. Not to me, dude. Big sellout. You told me what it was, and I think it's rad. You do? Yeah, man, it's good. Promotions director Adam called him out. He called you out and said it was a bad thing, and I don't know what he's talking about. And then Jay, of course, jumped on the horse. I agree, I agree. It's not really any, I mean. Adam, if you're listening, come into the studio. Because I want to know what your deal is with Woods. I think it's great. Thank you, Mike. My favorite.
is those little hot dogs in the barbecue sauce with the onion and the onion, and you take the toothpicks and you stab them and you eat them. Those are the kind of things that I just make exceptions for Super Bowl. Really? I just have to, yeah. You don't eat turkey. She won't eat that. I just have to. I have to because they're there. They make those in turkey now. Oh, for God. It's turkey friggin' hot dogs. They make those in turkey. They do. They're delicious. You mean the country turkey, and they're probably disgusting. But they're filthy. Sienna, we're making this and bringing it tomorrow. Don't say it. Artichoke. I knew it. I love you. Sourdough bread bowl? Maybe. With broken bread pieces, didn't it? Yes. You know, that could be the case. Sourdough bread bowl. I don't know. Here comes Adam. And I agree with Adam, by the way. Of course you do. What's your beef? Anything against me. No, that's not true. Let's say what it is. So, Woods' favorite Super Bowl. appetizer. One of my favorites. I don't think it's his favorite. It's one of mine. It's the easiest for him to make. It's not easy. Isn't it? What's his seven layer dip?
It's a cop-out. It's a cop-out, Adam. He's not actually making anything. He's putting a bunch of ingredients in a bowl and eating it with tortillas. Kind of like little smoky hot dogs that you're going to put with barbecue sauce. Wait a second. You're not making anything, though. No, no, no. Just drive through Taco Bell on the way. With the little hot dogs, you've got to cut up red onion. You've got to put it in the thing. You've got to put in the sauce. You've got to rock pot it. So five minutes later, what do you do? According to Adam, you have to actually stuff the sausages in their casing to do it right. If you're going to call it cooking, yeah. I'm not saying cooking. You're making something, though. It's Super Bowl. It's deliciousness. You know what I'll make? It's a pile of mush. I'll make chicken cordon bleu for everyone. I mean, come on. You know what the reality is? Woodson's not making anything anyway, because his wife will make the dip for him. No, yes, no. You have to get a video of you making it. It'll be here. It's all that matters is it'll be here. Anyone could make that. Anyone. And it's not even a seven-layer burrito, or a seven-layer taco, or whatever it is. Dip. Dip. Dip. Because you're not adding olives. It's six layers. I don't eat olives. So you're copping out on there, too? Yeah, it's six layers. Describe to us how this is done. Because maybe he's right. This is the way it's done. Don't read the text Jamie just sent you with directions. I don't know. What's going to happen, and I'll tell you exactly how it's going to get here tomorrow. Don't you tell me that your wife's making it. Here's exactly how it's going to get here. How dare you. When I get off the air here and we have our seven-hour meeting, I will call my wife and say, Babe, what do I need to buy from the store? And she'll give me.
Sour cream. Joaquin mole. Already pre-made. Yes. Maybe not. A bunch of other stuff. Why don't you buy avocados and mash them up? That'd be so much better. I'm not doing that. Is it bean dip like out of a can? Yeah. Yeah. It's all going to be out of a can. That's a cop out. What do you want me to make my own bean dip? I'm not Latino. Hey, bro. I've made pasta before. I'm not Italian. You've made pasta? Yes. You made pasta. The noodles. Okay, I made lasagna. Okay, where'd you get the noodles? Out of a box, exactly. This is kind of like a competition. It's not a competition. That's what I'm saying, yeah. It sounded like a competition when you guys were talking. I'll bring grilled swordfish for everyone there. For the love of God. Wait a minute. I thought that your seven-layer dip was going to be all you do to make... refried beans is you just mash up beans. I don't want to cook beans and mash up beans. Why would I do that? You're going to get a can of Frito bean dip. Yes! Oh!
Oh, my delicate palate. Can't handle the frito bean dip. This guy will eat a friggin' piece of bark on a campout. He'll eat a turd and be like, well, it's healthy. But this is something. Why is mine always getting called? This is like your best super bowl. How are you making artichokes? Are you dicing them? It doesn't matter. Are you making homemade bread? How hard is it to make a freaking dip? She has to cook the artichoke. It has to bake for a long time. Melt the cheese. Get all the stuff. Do out the bread. Get the mayo. No, I'm with the woods on this one. If we're calling him out. for taking pre-made ingredients. She's not going to go buy artichokes fresh. No, she's going to go to Costco. She's going to go to Costco. She's going to get the tub of artichokes. She's going to heat it up. She's going to pour it into the bowl, heat it in the oven. Melt a piece of cheese over the top. She's going to make the dip.
How dare you? Why are you making fun of my dish? I'm making beef wellington. I'm telling you for everybody. Beef wellington. I'll make it with turkey. L-O-B, what are you making? I'm making chili. It's a specialty of mine. No, I'm not. Is it made out of ostrich meat? No, it's going to be turkey meat. I'm not going to slaughter the turkey. I'm not going to cultivate the tomatoes. But I'm going to cook it and season it. And it's going to cook overnight. What should I make? Bean dip just seems like you just pour it in a bowl and you're done. Well, whatever Jay says better be good. Yeah. What do you got? Oh, mine's not going to be that big a deal. I'm going to do the stuffed jalapenos with the bacon. Oh, those are delicious. And that takes a lot of prep work. Senjaya's recipe. That takes a lot of prep work. Are you going to use turkey bacon? Oh, I'm baking that. Oh, yeah. I'm using turkey bacon. Well, you do real bacon, too. Oh, don't. Boring. Turkey bacon. What are you doing? I've done it with both. Turkey bacon. I've done it with both. I've done it with both, and everybody says they like the turkey bacon better. It is meat-eating. By everybody, he means his family. I've done it with both to a group of healthy people, and they were like, next time, don't use the turkey. Use regular. Do both. Do both. Do both. Both. Please. It's a Super Bowl. Okay, Mikey, I'll do both. You do both. What do I got to do both? Turkey weenies. Turkey weenies. Yeah. And you got to find them.
Well, I will. I will do that. I will. But how are you going to distinguish the two in the... Make two little separate sides. You won't be able to. Yeah. How am I going to do it with the jalapenos? That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. No, his is easy because he has to do each one individually. No, they're not easy. I know, not easy. They separate. They all kind of look the same. The jalapenos are actually... You have to wear gloves to de-seed them and everything. They took a long time when I made them. That's what I'm saying. I've gotten down to an art form. You can do bacon on the left and turkey on the right. It's all bacon, though, in the end. Somebody's calling into Backup Woods. Thank you. M1, Papa Drizzt from Oceanside. Make your dip while you're driving into work. I love the seven-layer dip. It's delicious. I love the seven-layer dip from Costco. I don't know. That's what he's going to do. He's just going to buy it. You're SOB. You're SOB. You're SOB. It has olives in it. Question. It has olives in it. What if I bring in a Hormel tray with crackers, cheese, and delicious meats on it? That's still good. You'll do it. Judy Duchesne if you do that. Really? Is this a contest? I think it should be. It sounds like a contest. Who's the judge? Chris? Chris. No. But I have a question. Why'd you say no? No. He's partial to them. They have breasts. No, he is not.
Go ahead. Go ahead. Sure they do. When you guys first started, I thought it was just who has the best Super Bowl food, not who has the best. You know, what is the best Super Bowl food? Not who can make the best. Yeah, it's not. We're very competitive. Yeah, Sienna has got a competitive, you know, streak. I did not know. I really honestly didn't know. Like, Mikey's having a Super Bowl party. I would bring seven-layer dip to your house and be like, cool, man. People are going to feast on this. That's what I would take to a Super Bowl party. I would think they would feast on it, too. But honestly, whenever I've had people bring seven-layer dip, like, there's some, you know, like, good stuff in there. Yeah. Like, it's not like, you know, they didn't take a tub of, like, guacamole and go... That's what grosses me out. I'm not making homemade guacamole. I can make some really good guac. Oh, man. I really can. I can make great guac. You guys, I just want fresh. Fresh ingredients. Yeah. That's all I ask. You know what? I wish a lot of things, too, but it just doesn't happen that way. Canned beans is not the same. I have to slave.
Over my chili. No, you don't. I made chili. It is not hard. Will you go to like Finn's or something and buy a thing of their beans? You know what I'm going to bring? Shrimp cocktail. Ooh. Ooh, yeah. I'm in love with that. He'll leave it out overnight while I get food. Oh, no. I'm bringing shrimp cocktail. You have to devein them then. I'm not deveining any foods. I'm going to get them deveined. I'm buying the good stuff. No. Bro, the big thick ones. Ooh, yeah. Yes. That's what I'm bringing. It's delicious. I don't want you bringing fish in here tomorrow morning. Shrimp. cocktail from the kid. Is it going to be in a cooler? Of course it will. With ice? No, I'm going to put it in a lunch pail with skull and crossbones on it. Of course it'll have ice in it. Mikey's Lunchbox. Dude, it'll be packed. It'll be so good. Lemons, fresh lemons, cocktail sauce. All right, I'll sell out, too. I'll go to Costco and just buy a premium. I'm not going to Costco. All right, why don't we just not even do it? I'm going to the Pacific Ocean. I'm going shrimping this afternoon. There you go. Thanks, Vince. You're welcome. Sienna, what was it? Was it a hippo that was born at the zoo? Yes. Everyone is cheering. Push! Push! Push! They get the hippo a push present. We talked about that the other day. We should.
A lot of work to have a child. Banana leaves. I wrote your name in dust on a truck as it rolled out of town. My name's Mikey, and I'm the host of The Mikey Show. Hello, Mike. Yeah, but my name's not Mikey. It's Mike. My dad asked me the other day, what do I call him? At the shower, what do I call him? Do I call him Mikey? Gotta go, just call Miguel. That's what I do. You respond to both. Sometimes I'll say Mikey. I say both. But mostly it's either one. I say Mikey when we're arguing. You're going to make people question what to call you now by saying that's not your name. Then call me whatever. Just don't call you late for dinner. I think I prefer Mike, you know, but I have to go by Mikey. The Mike show. Mikey. Mikey. Mikey. Mikey. Mikey.
Maybe this goes under stuff that guys need to realize that chicks think, and we don't realize it. But I'll play you this clip. Bunch of girls talking. Listen to this. Nobody's even mentioned smells. Come on, if somebody doesn't smell, though. It's not the view, isn't it? Sounds like it. It isn't, though. Because they get nervous, and people perspire when they're nervous. Sometimes it doesn't smell bad. Sometimes it's funky. Yeah, no. And then that's your out. But sometimes it's good. Sometimes it can be sexy. That's Julie Chen. That's sexy. Yeah, but funky. Wait, what? Sometimes, wait, wait. Sometimes funk is sexy? No, sometimes when... All right. Would you kiss... My husband's been working hard. Would you kiss a guy with arse, right? Really? No. Well, then. Yeah, she said it.
You're talking about, like, secreting the hormones of workout? You think that's kind of hot on my husband? But is it a mixture of funk and cologne? Because that's different. No. No, just full funk? It's straight up. It's natural cologne. You love him. See, all these women are all trying to, like, they're all trying to be plebeians. Yes. And they're all like, I don't think that the smell of a man is, that's disgusting. Julie Chun's the only honest one. She's like, my husband works out and goes in the yard and works out and comes inside. I like the way it smells. That's I totally agree with her. But I think you have to love the person to like their smell. Yes. Like it's like, you know. Girls like to pop their husband's zits. I wouldn't just pop anyone's zits, but I love to pop my husband's. Yeah, if you were on a first date with someone and you saw a zit, you wouldn't be like, oh, I need to pop that. You'd be like, eesh. Ew, he's a zit. You're like a zitty creep. Zit back. Zit back. Zit back. Zit back. Zit back. Just pouring at me from his neck. Yeah, you bring in zitty back. Disgusting. Well, but. Big zitty. What's up, P-zitty? But.
At the same time, I'm not talking about B.O. I'm talking about when a person works on smell. The sweat smell is way different than the B.O. smell. There's nothing worse than B.O. I walked by a dude in Statler Brothers yesterday when I was grocery shopping, and you could smell him from two rows over. And I walked by and I go, come on, dude. He smelled like an onion patch. Stale B.O. Stale B.O. is different than fresh B.O. It is true. No, no, no, no. Except that, like, lingers. Because I don't think that there is such a thing. Fresh BO means they just came from working out and you can still smell, like, the sweat mixed with the BO. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. And you think that's good? Yeah. Oh, that's gross. No. I don't want to smell any BO. I want to smell just your sweat and not a BO. I don't want to smell the BO, but the faint touch of it means, oh, you really got after it. Hey, Woods. Whoa. I don't think we have that for women though, do we? No. Some guys do. No. I don't like necessarily the after they work out smell of a woman. I just don't. I don't either. I like them clean and fresh and smelling pretty. Yes. Perfume. You know why? You know the deal? Because really there's no difference. Yeah. A girl that's worked out smells like a guy that's worked out. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And to me. Stinky. It's a little bit different though. Some guys.
I've talked to guys that really prefer it because it's like a, it's just a, I don't even think they can control it. It's like a hormonal thing. That's the thing. Young women. And when I say young women, I mean, I'd say 20 and younger have a natural scent. Natural, is it pheromone? Pheromone. All women have a natural scent. All people. But you know what though? At a certain age, it starts to fade. Yeah. Goes away. Listen. A 19-year-old girl puts off a smell. A 55-year-old woman does not put that smell off. Do not go in there. I guess you would know better than me. When that 55-year-old woman was 19, she did. I don't know about that. 55, you smell like formaldehyde a little bit. And 19, you smell like angels' kisses. Yeah, you smell like angels' kisses. You smell like clouds. You do. Yeah. It's a thing. I guess you guys would know.
Don't make it a creepy thing. It's not a creepy thing. I don't agree. It's true. It is not a matter of opinion. It's not true. It's a scientific fact. You think that because when you smelled those young girls, you were young and you got excited. Now you don't get as excited. Let's get some young girls in here and smell them right now. I'll tell you the story. Let me hear it. I know exactly the day. It was the day Michael Jackson died. This is weird. I know. Listen, it's a true story. It's a true story. And I'm not a creep. I'm just giving you factual information. Contrary to popular belief, I don't hang out with teenage girls. And I was speaking on the day that Michael Jackson died. I was speaking at this big event. And all it was was teenagers. And everywhere I walked and it wasn't perfume. It was just when you would walk. You know, when you walk by somebody, there's a wake. Yes. You walk. I would walk by these girls and it was awake. And I remembered it from when I was in high school. And I went, oh, my goodness, she smells good. And it wasn't perfumey. It was just good. Just smelled good. I think that chemically that happens when you're young.
So that you mate. Yes. I think it happens all the time. I think it never turns off. No, it does. I think when women's, when they go through like menopause or something, they're hormonal. balance your chemistry but i don't think in between puberty and menopause there's all these changes that when you stop being sexually attractive and it's not 20 i mean i don't know what age it is i said that just flippantly i actually don't know what age it happens it's probably whenever that particular woman goes through menopause, it changes. And that could be 40 for one woman. It could be 48 for another. It could be 26. It could be, I don't know. What if they always have that smell, but it's because they get older and start wearing perfume that you don't smell it? Yeah. I agree. You know, here's the thing though. It comes through the perfume. I'll give you a, for instance, that's why different colognes and different perfumes smell different on different people. Oh yeah. We all have different chemicals. You all got different chemicals. Now I would never say a name.
I knew a girl. I couldn't stand the way she smelled. And listen, it wasn't her. It was me with her. It was just the way she smelled. I didn't like it. And I know that there were other guys that loved it, loved the way she smelled. It was her natural body chemist, her natural oils. My wife has told me she likes the way I smell. And it doesn't. have anything to do with my cologne. She just likes the way I smell. But I will lose that. That chemical will go away. Your wife will always like the way you smell because she loves you. She's making it romantic and emotional. As a girl, you're being emotional. It's scientific. I lose it. I'm not being emotional! I lose it. Man and woman, our chemicals go away. You know why it goes away? Because we're not supposed to keep mating. We're not supposed to. You get old and dried up. You get old and dried up. There's a reason that chemical goes away. It's not what I'm talking about. But I don't want it to. The reason the chemical goes away is because you're not supposed to mate anymore. Well, maybe guys can smell it from girls. Maybe you're designed to smell it because I don't know what you're talking about. Well, I know when I hugged Matt Commerce the other day, there was a smell. What? Again? There was this smell and it smelled great. He has a very nice smell. Come on.
Why do you keep talking about Lauren's boyfriend? Because I'm joking. Are you? It's been like maybe nine times today. You've mentioned his body. He's got a great body. And now, not only does he have a great body, but now he smells good. Now he smells good. He smells good. He does smell good. He smells good. Jay smells good. Mike smells good. You smell good. Nice abs. What do you do? It's a pecs that I like. I'm so uncomfortable. You do crunches? Does he have that V? He has a V? Woods asked that earlier. Do the V. I love the V, man. I want the V. Girls love the V. Guys love the V. Guys love the V. They want the V. You see the V and you go, I want that V. I love the V. But I'm not going to do what it takes to get it, but I want it. Oh, I want the V. I'll pay for the V. I'd pay six figures. What V are we talking about? Yeah, Jay, we get it. Oh, my God. We get it. I didn't even think about that. The V above guys. I just want to clarify. The bottom of their...
Like in between their hip bone and their belly button? Yeah, maybe. Yes, I do. No. It won't be fine. I'll cross the line. I've got a way to make sure that I abide. Because from Mikey's eyes, I will try. But nice beat always turns in time. It won't be fine. I'll cross the line. I got a boozer. The J is really something to eat. M1 Rebecca from San Diego. What was the word of the day?
That is correct. Very well done. You just got yourself a four-pack of SeaWorld tickets, and you got a pay-per-view for UFC 112 on Saturday. That is awesome. I appreciate it. Thank you. You got to hang on. So, Jen Aniston went on Conan last night, and before she came on the set, he walked into her dressing room while... She was getting dressed. No way. Oh, my gosh. And instead of saying that he was sorry, he did something kind of weird. Oh, my gosh. And we'll play it next. This was in a movie. The movie had the word summer in it. Summer Lovers with Daryl Hannah. Never saw it. Wow. I did. Wasn't supposed to. You meant to see Splash? Well, I shouldn't have been watching Summer Lovers. I'll tell you that. Sounds good. Mm-hmm.
Sorry, I'm just enjoying the song. So gorgeous. Yeah, why not? Guy was a human pro tools. Yeah. What is it? Harmonizer? Yeah. Autotune? Autotune. Do you think an eight-year-old little boy right now who's never heard of this band, Chicago, and hears the song would think this is bad? Yes. No! Yes. I do not think so. I do, because they like the hip-hop. I think everyone knows that this is a good song. They like the hip-hop. I think... Britney Spears. Don't interrupt you this time. I don't know. I think kids would like the Katy Perry. I like it. Oh, my gosh. Everyone likes this. Everyone likes it. When that drum kicks in, how can you not? You didn't like it when you were little. You were like, lame, dad. I did. I was like, lame. And then I.
You thought this was lame? Yeah, it was a plebeian. Well, probably because your dad liked it. I like Zeppelin. And you were just like, oh, whatever. But if you just played it for a kid, they'd never heard it before. There was no, you know, preconceived notion. Yeah, my dad was too old to like this. Mine wasn't. I was a plebeian even when I was younger. I like Zeppelin and Hendrix and the doors. I don't like Motown. And you didn't really like Zeppelin? No, I really did. See, I don't think that's a plebeian. But I also like that. I think a plebeian says, I like stuff because they think it sounds cool, but they don't really like it. Well, they also will say, I could never listen to Chicago, when in reality, they listen to Chicago. Yeah, they listen to Chicago. And they like Heaven by Warren. You know what I mean? They dig it. Yeah. Jay. A great move. I love Chicago. I never was into Led Zeppelin. Never really got it. You know, didn't really do it for me. Doors, some Doors songs I liked, but not a ton of Doors. Well, you babysat Jim Morris. Yeah, well. Yeah, that's true. You used to sell him weed. You used to. I showed him how to expose himself on stage. Yes. Wow. That was weird. This is my life, so I know it's not that dramatic. How'd you get my drops?
Let's play in your drops, Zuck. I don't believe that I set my permissions to usable on Facebook for that particular drop. I have a question for you, Mark Zuckerberg. I have an answer for you. Why did you change the fan page? On Facebook, it's different. That's been a change that's been just... Happening gradually across fan pages. Why? It's already been happening. If it ain't broke. It's more user-friendly. There's a way for people to see just what the fans are posting, and maybe they just want to know what you, as the public profile, are posting. You always got to be changing stuff up, Zuck. Yep. If we're not changing, we're just remaining constant. That's right. Master of the obvious. If we're not progressing, we're just... Remaining the same. That's also a truth. Thank you. Did you know M1's Interpol will be at Remak Arena tonight? I'm going. I'm so excited. You're not going. Yes, I am. We all are. We're all going to Interpol. It's Wednesday. I know. Interpol's here. I'm going to no concert on Wednesday. 100%. It's a must.
Oh, my gosh. Fantastic show. Jay got us great seats. Big blowout. Thanks for that, Jay. Yep. You can get tickets at the box office. Save on fees that way. The Ticketmaster charges, so the box office is a good way to go. Interpol is, again, playing tonight. Remack with special guest. School of Seven Bells. Their bass player studied at NYU. Are you sure it wasn't Berkeley? That's right. It was Berkeley. I mix School of Seven Bells up with the Broken Tudors. It's a common mistake, I think. Oh, yeah, because both their bass players are named Steve. Tonight, Remack, Lajala, Holler. See you there. So, Jen Aniston. What's your problem? Nothing. What? She's trying to get you all riled up. Getting me riled up, man.
All right, a couple things. Here's Conan talking about walking in on Jennifer Aniston backstage while she was getting dressed. Wow. You know, it's funny. Just before the show, I don't know if you found it funny. You know, if someone's on the show who I know has been on before and we're friendly, I go back to say hi. And I'm pretty sure I knocked first and opened the door. Somebody opened it not noticing I was half knocked. There was a moment. There was a moment there where I walked in on Jennifer Aniston, who had her pants about halfway up. It's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was quite a moment. I even got a victory dance out of you. I had the complete inappropriate response. I'm supposed to say, oh, I'm so sorry for Jennifer. Instead, I started going like this.
I think he either did, what do they call that? Cabbage patch. Cabbage patch. Or maybe he pretended that he had like a lasso. Maybe he did the sprinkler. Yeah. Disco finger. What about the two fists and then victory and run? The dice. Muckering that maybe. The dice, throwing the dice. He probably did like an Irish jig. Could be. He is Irish. He is Irish. How do you not knock? He did not. He said he did. One of her people opened the door. You wait for the response. He gave one a name. No, he said one of their people opened the door. One of her people. They would know better or they would be fired. Maybe they opened the door because they thought, oh, it's important. They didn't realize. She probably staged it all so they'd have something to talk about. Oh, boy. Captain Cynical. Man, you guys are so cynical. Can't you? It's coming to this that you can't even believe that a starlet can be walked in on with her pants down. I don't buy it. They showed her on TV yesterday, like one of the scenes from the movie. Oh, my God. She is in such good shape. She's beautiful. She's in great shape. I want her trainer. Yeah. So jealous of her. I want her laugh. I want to be her. I want her. In my bed. I want her around me. She's a gypsy. I don't know what that means. I want to play cops and robbers. You had part of that, right? I want to wear her around me. I want to bathe in her perfume.
I want to go through a suitcase. I want to smell her. I want to make love. I'm just saying. I just want to make love. I'm not even talking about Jen Aniston. I'm just saying if anybody's listening, if my wife's listening, it's basically if somebody can hear me right now to make love. I want to be a tiny speck on her deodorant. Too far. I wish I could be. I like to butter her muffins. Wink, wink, wink. Really, I get in trouble when I say this stuff. Now you guys turn this into an art form. It is an art form. I want to make sure she has a hot dog at a barbecue. I just want her to be the bun for my hot dog. Like a wiener. Do you get it, Mike? Do you get it? Yes, I get it. You made it obvious. Like a wiener.
I know. Like a turkey dog. Like a turkey dog. Oscar Moore. Wow. My turkey dog has a first name. It's J-E-Y. It's Belle. It's W-E-I-N-E-R. My baloney has a second name. And it's W-E-I-N-E-R. I love to have it every day. And if she has no words. Wiener time. I was waiting for that. What did you say, L.O.V., about the barbecue, the hot dog? Oh, I want to make sure she has a hot dog for the barbecue. I thought you meant what I meant. So subtle. And then, of course, Jay's got to back it up. I mean, I want her. Be the wiener for her butt. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. I would slay a hot dog right now. Just FYI. I mean, absolutely. You need one, too. I would order her some tulips. I would feed her sausage every breakfast. Most important meal of the day. I got it. I got it. I'm hungry. Get it, Mike. No, that's not it. You get it?
I'm so hungry. I'm going to play this for Sienna because Sienna wants to hear this. I want to hear it so bad. Happy birthday. Well. Thank you. There's a promo out, and there's apparently going to be a new movie with Justin Bieber in it. That's right. Biebs. And guess who's in it? Justin Bieber. And The Situation. Oh. The Situation's Guide to Pimpin'. Today's lesson, let's go to the movies. How you doing today, class? My name is Professor Situation. I'm moving. Tomorrow. I feel so dumb. I hate this country now. I hate it. This is ridiculous. The situation and Justin Bieber together is never a good one. Douchefest. Douchefest. Hey, come see my new movie, Douchefest. The sad thing is like every young girl is going to go see it. I'm going to ground my sisters. I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to be different. I can't. You can't. I can't. I try. I'm trying.
It's so hard. You are trying. It's so hard. But, you know, be nice. Okay. I love him. I have to say you love him. I'm so embarrassed. This would never fly in France. Helena Bonham Carter is married to Tim Burton. They live in separate houses. Weird. They live in separate caskets. I'm surprised it's not separate castles. Separate caskets. Separate caves. Yeah. Anyway, well. Let you know what we're talking about coming up. That's a good one. Speaking of nice bodies, Lenny Kravitz. All right, Woods, that's it. That's the last one. No more. That's it. We weren't speaking of nice bodies, by the way. I thought we were. More of them. Were we not? No. Maybe in your own head. Maybe in my tree. I'm worried about you. I'm really weird today. I just like to mess with you guys. You're really on one. I love you. Oh. I just like to mess with you. I really like guys today. Yeah. She's really into dudes today.
I'm just really into dudes. I don't mean it like that. I mean like I got friends. It's like a friend day. Friends I admire. It's okay. It ain't weird if you see a friend and he's muscular and you're like, hey, you're muscular. What do you do? To get that muscular and handsome. What's your regimen? Yeah. It's not weird. How'd you get such kissable cheeks? Squeezable buns. Oh. Oh. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Pearl Gym by Norrell. Let's see. Okay, so Helena Bonham Carter, odd bird, right? Weird bird, man. She's married to a weird bird. Yep. She's married to Tim Burton. They live in separate houses. I want to ask you about you and Tim and Tim Burton.
Is he your partner? Is that what you call it? I believe he is. He's my loved one. You've been together for a number of years. You have children. But you don't live in the same house. What is it exactly? You live in two houses that are near each other? We live in two houses that, if you saw my house, he wouldn't fit in my house because my house is tiny. You know, it's like a little doll's house. You know, I'm not, like, borrower. Maybe move into his, though. You know, tiny. But it is a tiny house, so there's no space for him. So luckily he was rich enough to buy the house next door. It's only 40,000 square feet. My house is only 40. This is tiny. This is 120. And then I got pregnant, and then we built this tiny, tiny, well, just a link. Like a tunnel to the other house. We call it a moat. No, we built a moat. It's kind of awesome. Yeah. I'm sorry. I know. I mean, I'm sure they sleep in the same bed and everything. No. Oh, well, then that's weird. I would sleep in the same bed. They're attached. Maybe she just wanted that house. They're connected. They have a link, Mike. There's a link between them. I mean, they have a child, so they must sleep in the same bed at least sometimes. No, they sleep in the same bed when they want to have it, but... Look, if he wants to visit me or the baby, he has to pull down on the book in the library, not three times, and it'll open up. I don't want to, darling. Why don't you live with me? That's what you've got to do. Why don't you live with me? While I'm cooking... We have a child. I'm chilling blood over here. Yeah. I have to have a certain temperature in my tiny house.
Do you find that at all odd that you're chilling blood? I find it exhilarating. You find it exhilarating that you're chilling blood? It keeps me young. You keep opening your eyes as wide as they can go when you say that to me. That's because I want to see you better. Understand that? That's chilling a bit. All you have to do is knock three times, pull on the farmer's almanac. I'm 1873. The wall will turn around, slip through. You'll see me and the child. I can live with you. Fortunately, the reality is much less interesting than people think there's a subterranean tunnel connecting. There's been a bridge of size. There's been like... So you live in one house. I live in one house. He lives in the other house. And he lives in the other house. And we do visit each other. Obviously, you have two children. So you must have visited at least five. Where do the kids stay? Well, they feel like it. It's one house now because they've been connected. So the children live in one house. But she has a side and he has a side. She's got her quarters. She stays in her house and stay in mine. I'm sure there's like a middle area. It's called middle earth. Yeah, the middle area. There's a drawbridge. The middle area is called the tunnel. It's like she said, you pull down the...
book from 1873, which is actually Jay Isbell's flair from high school. Some would call it a yearbook. He would call it flair. Right, that's what they called it. Pull it down. The Revolutionary War. And it opens up. They called it that in the Revolutionary War. You know, he used actual whale blubber for oil to light lamps. I remember that. And then that was at the invention of the whale. Oh, my God. The invention. Jay was there for the invention of the whale. That's a weird couple. You think they ever just eat mushrooms? Dream of ideas? I don't like those Tim Burton movies. You don't like them? They never did anything for me either. Don't do a thing for me. I think they're great. Tim Burton? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have anything against them. I don't have a strong opinion. But when I saw them, I go. It's really weird. There is a Tim Burton movie. Somebody told me one of our M1s with other mother character. Wow. So I have to watch it. Coraline. Yes, that's the one. Natalie? Mm-hmm. The thing about the Tim Burton movies is it's like music. You've got to be into that. Yeah. Which I'm not. Nightmare Before Christmas was great. That was a good movie. Coraline was good. You'd like Coraline. I would. I don't know about you. Didn't you do Edward Scissorhands? Mm-hmm. What?
That's good. You don't like that movie? I like that. Actually, I like that movie a lot. Guy loves Johnny Depp. He sure does. He doesn't. Speaking of Great Bodies. I told you, last one, man. All right, one more. Johnny Depp. We all know that is your one. Yeah, he's the one. Mike Tomlin. He's the one. Mike Tomlin. What a special friend you are. I guess, right? What says a lot of guy crushes? That's the one, though. That's the one if Jamie gave him the okay. Gross. If she said okay, dear. Okay. He gets a pass. You get it one night. Just one night. Have you seen my wiener? Only if he's dressed up like Willy Wonka. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Did he do the remake? Did Tim Burton do the remake? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I liked that. Alice in Wonderland, which we all loved. Oh, my God. We hated it. We all hated it. It was terrible. We all hated it. It was awful. One of the worst movies. Just stick a pot poker in my eye and watch that movie again. Let's see. Did we miss any of the big ones? I think we hit all the big stuff.
One thing we didn't get to is this Sunday has been declared Ronald Reagan Day. That's pretty cool. It's the 100th anniversary of his birth. And actually, there's an effort underway right now to rename the Coronado Bridge for Ronald Reagan. It would be called the Ronald Reagan Coronado Memorial Bridge. Nobody will call it that. Well, if you want it to be that, you can go to RonaldReaganBridge.com and get your name on the list for a petition. I'm a big fan. I mean, even if they change it, people, they know what they know. Felt safe. The last of the Reagan stories, the USS Ronald Reagan is deploying today. And if you want sports news, you can go to ESPN.com and check that out today. I'd suggest it. At your leisure. Yeah. I'd suggest it. Oh, boy. Let's just throw all the sports news. All of his hard work. Down the drain. Maybe I just come in at 545 every day. I don't get to my news every day. I get to a lot of it, but not all of it. Don't be mad. Imagine not doing one news story. It's okay. We did. Imagine that that's your problem instead of having to deal with another day at Reach Local. Oh, yeah. You got to like two or three stories. We did news and sports at the beginning of one break. Hey, we'll have Hotel Fred back in here tomorrow. Did you ever just hate your sports guy? Yes. Why do you hate me? Why do you hate me? I love you. All right. Oh, he means it today.
Let's get some sandwiches. It's a beautiful necklace you have on, Hillary. It is. Thank you. You're welcome. How are you today? It's blue. My husband bought it for me. Do you want to say hi to Jeremy? Jeremy is an attractive guy. Does he work out a lot? He is an attractive guy. Does he work out or does he just, he does like the surfing and like the hiking and stuff. Surfing is probably his most. It's been his bit today. Oh, gosh. He does work out. He's been talking about how attractive men are. Talking about all the men on the show or all the women on the show, he's been talking about how hot their husbands are. Todd is a very attractive man. Boyfriends are. You've said that many times. I've already said that one. He's got a good body. Stop it. Hillary, what do you have coming up on the show? He's got a good body. What did I grab? Bad religion full of guys with good bodies. Oh, yeah. Radiohead, ditto. Just kidding. Gorillaz, Arcade Fire, Metric, The Clash. Social. Ooh, a new Social D's, too. A song called California Hustle and Flow. It's good. Yeah, I'll play that in a little bit. Lovely and Talented Hillary is up next, and we will come back tomorrow at 6 and do this all over again. My show's out late.