The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/03/11

0:05If I was an ice skater, I would maybe do a routine of this. It's a Mikey show, and welcome. Welcome to the Mikey show. When I say that we have a lot going on on the show today, it doesn't even... Understatement of the century. It doesn't even approach the... Yeah, it's an understatement of the century. Why don't you stop understating things? I know it. Sienna's wearing a headband. I am. Just caught my attention. Sparkles. I like it. I'm a fan of the headband. Are you? Mm-hmm. Family Woods is not. No, I am. I just, I don't know that I see a whole hell of a lot of headbands. My wife. I'm trying to start her. Okay. I am too. My wife knows I like them, so she's started wearing them. Do you mean like the ones that push?

2:00The hair back. Oh, I like that. I like that. That's not one of those, though. It can be. It's a headband. That's not serving a purpose, per se, other than decorative. But I like it. It's very pretty. I like to be decorative. I'm sorry that he is attacking me on this one. I'm not attacking. I apologize. I just put on a headband. I apologize. I wasn't expecting conversation. Thank you, Chris. I apologize for this. It's all right. I like it. What is that in the middle? It's a real garnet or something, isn't it? It's a jewel. It's a real jewel. I got it about a year ago at Walmart. And I get so many compliments on this dang headband. And I'm like, I tell them, I got my Walmart. It's gorgeous. Beautiful. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is sitting directly across from me. We both wore green t-shirts today. So weird. Didn't call each other. So weird. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. I have a shaved head. You know, more overweight right now than I need to be. And I'm going to try to take care of that soon. Woods is taking care of his overweightness. He's working out, eating better. Better. He had swordfish two nights ago. Then last night, followed it up with some baked ziti. That's not super healthy. That's a feast. Yeah, that's not super healthy. You're trying. I am trying. Doing more than I am. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's also a comedian. She has very white teeth. She uses Burt's Bees whitening. It's switched.

3:25You did? Now I'm using Arm & Hammer. Doesn't it taste like Arm & Hammer baking powder? Yeah. Love that taste. I might have to consider doing it if I don't like that taste. But I might have to consider it. I don't really like it, but they do enough minty stuff in there now that it's not that bad. Now it'll be up white teeth. Yeah. Do you know I used to use Arm & Hammer? The actual powder? Straight out of the box. Yep. I love that. Tastes like... It's disgusting. It's foul. It worked. Can't you just take peroxide and squish it around? Does that work, too, for whitening? Yeah. I use Listerine. Good for your mouth. I feel like peroxide would burn my flesh. No, you can drink it. Yeah, you give it to your dogs when they're sick, too. If you need them to throw up, you give them peroxide. It's one of the coolest things I ever saw a guy do. Took the brown bottle of peroxide, took the top off. It was a friend of my dad's. You guys watch this. And I was like, I was a little kid. Yeah. It's a 3%. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Sienna is our news girl. She is 25 years of age, and she has auburn-colored hair. She has a husband named Todd that likes to drive a Supra. He does. Maybe getting rid of it soon. Is he? He can only hope. He says maybe. Yeah, right. He's not getting rid of that thing. He'll get rid of that thing as soon as he gets a Facebook page. That's right. He doesn't want a Facebook page, you monsters. He wants them. He does. Jay is our producer. He's 47.

4:52Still has a shaved head. Yep. I think it looks sharp. I love it. It's growing a little bit. Yeah. I love it. I do. And screening phones today for us is the illustrious Chris. It's Chris. It's Chris. I just call it. You know what I call Chris? I call Chris the angel. Yeah. When he walks in, he's a little angel. Yeah, it is. No, it's not. Are we doing this again today? You guys are great. Day two. Day two, huh? No, he's just a good kid. Sorry. Sorry, I'm supportive. Yeah. Sounded like you were talking about a woman, though. No, he's just a little angel. The angel? He's the angel. The little angel. And he says that about women that he thinks are gorgeous. He'll go, oh, she's a little angel. It's like you're an angel. We will be doing our Super Bowl dishes at 8 o'clock. It's turned into something. Holy crap. Turned into something completely different. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And what it will be now is a trial. And this trial will have the prosecution and the defense. The prosecution will be trying one Jay Isbell. What? What did I do? We're prosecuted. What for? Oh, he's being prosecuted. He's being prosecuted. Jay is in the other room loading audio in the morning, so he doesn't even know what we've all been talking about. Yeah, so I'll tell you, the listening audience, what's going on.

6:23We were all supposed to bring in a dish today. Yep. Okay, a Super Bowl dish. And I forgot. You forgot your dish? We talked about it all day yesterday. We've been talking about it for a week. On the air yesterday. Save all of this. I need all this stuff. Let's save it. I need all this stuff. I have evidence printed out. So there's no little smokies? There's no little smokies. With barbecue? With onion? And onion? Well, you know what you don't get? What? You don't get any stuffed jalapenos, mister. That seems fair. That's almost fair. That's not fair. That's almost fair. Don't get any shrimp cocktail. Tit for tat. Don't get any artichoke dip. It's going to make me sad. You can get some oatmeal. Chris will go get you some oatmeal. All the oatmeal you can eat. We remembered. Also, don't forget, we have our M1 Valentine meet and greet. So we're doing another meet and greet to hang out with M1s. It's going to be next Friday, not this Friday, but next Friday. The 11th at East Village Tavern and Bowl. Awesome bowls. Wait a second. This is my fault? Yes. What?

7:38He just figured it out. He just figured it out. Just wait. He just figured it out. Just wait. He just figured it out. You forgot to remind me, Jay. Oh, I forgot to remind you. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. Jay, you have the hottest young defense attorney. It's out. He just threw his headphones off. He may quit. He may be quitting. He is so, so worked up. Where did he go? I don't know, but he threw his headphones off. He may be quitting. He has a rape. He's going to get something, I bet, that's going to... I told you, Mike. Did you actually put it on the tomorrow? Because that'll ruin everything. It was on the schedule. Just save it. You're ruining my face, everybody. Believe me, you will be called to the stand. So will you. Everybody will be a witness. This is going to be an 8 o'clock today. How are we going to make it that long? How are we going to make it until 8 o'clock? I know it. We're so enraged. Just wait. All right. OK, so the meet and greet to meet all of us will be next Friday from five to seven. Happy hour prices out there. It's going to be great. And it's for singles to come out and meet one another. So if you're an M1 and I'll tell you this, just based on the Facebook page and looking at the good looking girls and looking at guys like and I don't know if a good body's got a girlfriend. We got some sharp dude listeners and we got some good looking.

9:00Girl listeners. Oh, yeah. And so if you're single, this is the place to be because you know this right away. You both like The Mikey Show. Yep. And I have to say, East Village Tavern and Bowl is by far one of my favorite places. Todd and I used to live in Little Italy, and we would go there all the time. Because if you haven't been or you don't know anything about it, it's a huge restaurant. They have pool upstairs. There's bowling alleys. You can drink and bowl, and they have really good food. What does he go by? The food dude? And he's a really good, like a well-known chef. Is that that cabin guy? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he, I mean, the food there is amazing. There you go. Word of the day is foam. Okay, so when you hear me say the word foam between now and 10, we get off the air at 10 o'clock. So between now and then, I will somehow work the word foam into conversation. I do it very sly when you got to be really listening for it. It could even happen during commercial breaks. Ooh. And when you hear me say that, you get a, and you call, and you're calling nine, you get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld, and that's worth $280. And then you also get a pay-per-view for UFC 112 for tomorrow, or no, Saturday. And Woods has some stuff coming up on that. Is it 112? It's 126. I have. I thought it was one, I don't know. Is it 126? I think it's 126. Okay. That's what this says. I don't know. I just, I'm Ron Burgundy. You know me. That's true.

10:28Which will be brought into evidence later. Thank you, Woods. By the prosecution, I'm assuming. By the prosecution? Yeah. So the defense attorney just helped the prosecution's case. Did he? Yeah, he did. So yes, I do stand corrected, Woods. You are correct. It is UFC 126. How many years have you been in radio? 23. Yeah. Been messing it up that long. That's why I got to have a producer. Oh, my God. Wow. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. Save it. This is going to be bad. It's going to be bad. This is going to be bad. It's going to get bad. Save it. Save it. Save it. One that we're all passionate about. Yes. It's food. Hey, Mikey, it's time for you to go to the restroom. Oh, wow. I would go now. Make sure you put toilet paper on there. Yeah. Sometimes he'll just wipe with his hands. Don't forget to put your shirt on this morning. Save it. Save it. We can't. We can't. How are we going to go until 8 o'clock? We need to stop thinking about it until it's on schedule. You know what it's going to be? Two hours of just passive aggressive comments.

11:36Yes, it is. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay, let's move on. Egypt. Egypt. Well, and also you can call us, 570-1949. Any area code works. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. And I am dealing with, and if anybody knows how to get rid of... a cramp in my calf last night, 10 o'clock at night. Hang on a minute. Just like, let me rub it out. I got it. Rub it out. Go ahead and rub it out. Oh my God. At 10 o'clock at night, my son Jake sleeps with us and in the middle of the, and he is, he doesn't sleep in one position. He'll sleep all over the place. So you'll wake up and his feet will be up at your head. And because he moves around. He's a thrasher. He's a thrasher. So he just moves all around, you know. One minute his head is on the pillow. The next minute his knees. The next minute his feet. The next minute it's all over. And so at 10, and I mean that. So at 10 p.m. last night, he had to get up and go pee pee. And I woke up because I felt him sliding off the bed. Well, in my waking up state, I thought, Jake's falling off the bed.

12:54So I moved real quick to try to help him, and calf muscle. Locked up. Locked up into a ball. Oh, man. You pulled a muscle getting out of bed. I did. I literally pulled a muscle getting out of bed. It balled up, and I'm... It happens when you point your toe a lot, and it sticks, and you're like, oh, God! Yeah, you probably went, like, rigid. I did. Tighten everything up. Well, I started to push on it so that it would, you know. You have to jump out of bed and, like, jump around. You do? Yeah, because that happened a lot when I was pregnant, which is apparently something that happens. And the doctor said, you need to get up right away and start moving around. That's a great thing to know. You could be doing this. Right now, you got to pull it back towards you. You know what else it is with you? You haven't been drinking as much water. Dude, I'm telling you, I'm drinking water like crazy. I don't see it, though. You never do it. In the studio, I don't. But before I get here, I'm drinking way more water than I used to. I try to get it over with. Yeah, you hated it. But maybe I should keep going all through the day. Yeah, you should. Yeah. All right. I have a banana, too. That'll help. Yep. Potassium. M1K from Kearney Mason knows what to do as well. Go ahead, Kay. Hold on.

14:08No problem. Happy birthday. Sorry about that. It's okay. Anyway, so what you do is you put your toes to your nose right as you're feeling your cramps and it'll make it go away like instantly. Okay. I need you to try to picture a hippopotamus trying to put its toe to its nose. You could do it. It's not going to happen. Actually, like, not actually like your toe to your nose. Just point your toes toward your nose. Yes, like I just showed you. Okay, I got you. Yeah, L.O.B. showed me. Okay, I got it. Thank you, Kay. I actually brought my toe to my nose. That's okay. Demonstrated. Sure did. It's good. Sorry about that. Egypt is just freaking out. Oh, it's getting really crazy. So yesterday, and do you guys know the... Pronunciation for Kairos Tahrir Square. That's where it's all been happening. Cairo. Cairo. Okay. Well, yesterday in Cairo Square, which is where the mile of a million people was happening, President Mubarak's supporters came. Yeah.

15:12It was bad because all the people that are against the president were there before protesting. Now, these supporters have come. They rode in literally on horses and camels with whips. And there were street battles raging between the two sides using rocks and bottles. Cocktails were being thrown around. I mean, it was brutal. Another Molotov. Gasoline. Yeah. So, I mean, it's just really bad. Anderson Cooper. was out in the middle of it. And listen what happened. That's a good move. People are starting to push and shove him. And then he starts to get attacked. Oh, it's so bad. We have to go

16:58I have an idea. Maybe stay in New York City in the CNN or Atlanta in the CNN headquarters and not go to the rioting. Egyptian streets. Yeah. To the middle of the street and right in the middle of it. Good Lord. And, I mean, the foreign journalists were targeted by these people. And luckily, Anderson Cooper didn't suffer any serious injury. But, yeah, you can see he's getting beat up pretty good. That's exactly what he wanted, though. Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah. Do we ever stick our nose in place and try to stick our foot in the door? I mean, I guess if he's trying to report on it, we would want to hear stuff like that. Maybe look at it from a hotel room. Look at what's going on down there. I mean, dude, you can follow it on Facebook. Yeah. Just follow Facebook. I'm telling you, man. So this riot came a day after the president said that he would not seek another term, but he was going to finish out the last seven months he has. So are they mad? He doesn't need to follow it out. Is that why they're mad? He doesn't. Yeah, but...

18:06But the protesters who are against the president have been there all along. And now there are people that like the president and what he stands for. So they're mad that he's not going to seek reelection. They're the ones that rode in on camels. Right. They rode in on camels and horses with whips like crazy to get the protesters out of there and start a huge riot. Robert Gibbs, White House press secretary. The time for a transition has come and that time is now. Really? The Egyptian people. Need to see change. You ever just say nothing when you're saying something? Yep. That's exactly what that is. They got to do something. And now, I guess that the reason that the protesters are still angry is because he is saying that he's not going to leave until September. Yeah. That's not good. Maybe they find a middle ground. Like July? Yeah, May. Tomorrow. They negotiated time. They should. What's the deal with this Rancho Santa Fe woman? Oh, my gosh. This woman, Lady Katerina Pietra Tomei. Now, she is accused of trying to dupe investors by pretending to be a member or representative of the Guggenheim family. Sienna. So she's claiming to be a countess. Sienna.

19:32Maybe she knows what's up. No, but she actually surrendered yesterday on Wednesday in federal courthouse in San Diego. She didn't even know she was wanted or that she had even been charged until she heard reports about it online on Tuesday. So, yes, she went to federal court Wednesday to face charges of wire fraud lodged against her in New York. We have a woman on the phone claiming to be her. Oh, wow. Katarina. Yeah, I think so. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Of course I'm here. I just wanted the opportunity to come on the air and clear my name. I've been a resident of Rancho San Fe for years and actually belong to various PTAs and homeowners associations and I'm a very upstanding person in the community. And so it bothers me a bit that people... bringing such false allegations against me. I'm sure, you know, if you don't think that they're real. Yeah, well, they're not. Well, Countess, a lot of times people say where there's smoke, there's fire. Yeah. So there's a lot of smoke. Is there any fire? You know who said that? Who said that? Smokey the Bear. He wasn't real. So why don't we try to think about it like that? You know, he wasn't real exactly. He was a cartoon. So if we're going to start quoting Smokey the freaking bear, what do we have here?

20:59That's true. Yeah. That's true. So no, there's no truth to any of this. Wire fraud. Just completely fabricated. I don't even know what wire fraud is. It's that when you take wires and you try to pretend that it's real and you're like, oh, is this a real wire? No. You tried to dupe investors by pretending to be a member of the Guggenheim family. I don't know what it... I don't know what a dupe is. I've never met a dupe. I don't know what a dupe is. Oh, my gosh. Trying to trick. Are you a member of the Guggenheim family? I don't know what that is. I think that's a museum in Germany. Oh, boy. No. I think the Guggenheim's in what, New York? See? I don't even know. Innocent. Innocent. Innocent. That doesn't really prove anything. No. It'll all come out in the wash. It'll all come out. You're laundering money? I haven't done anything like that. I don't know what laundering is. I don't have Mexicans that do it for me, so I don't know. Oh. Wow. Anything else? No, I got nothing for you, Countess. Keep trucking. Yeah, keep it on. Keep on keeping on. I'll keep on keeping on. Can you guys do me a favor? Sure. Send me some money for the cafeteria. No. The commissary? Commissary? Yeah. I can send you some commissary money. Smokes. You got it. You got it. Yeah, that would be good. And a nail file. In a cake.

22:18Are you in a jail in Tombstone in 1800? A nail file's not going to do anything for you. Yeah. How about a spoon to turn into a shiv? What do you need? Okay. To do your nails? It's not going to work anymore. How about just a small rock hammer? Hang on a second. Yes, Barney. Okay. Thanks, Barney, for reminding me you're such a sweetheart. You're very handsome today. You look wonderful. Who's Beatrice? My aunt. Who's Barney? That's who you're talking to? Barney. What's that? Yes, I'll be right off the phone. You look very handsome today. Have I ever told you that my first husband was an African-American? Oh, my gosh. I love you. Sorry, Beatrice, about that. Barney just walked away. I need you to send me something to make up. Let's see what we can do.

23:53visit. I need you to be a mule. Do you need me to bring stuff in to you? What do you want me to bring? I'm going to need... Oh, wow. Won't be the first time. I have to admit that was a good one. I have to admit it. I have to admit it. I have to admit it. The countess has to admit that that was a good one. I can either confirm or deny. Well, this woman, Lady Katerina Pietra Tomei, she is from Rancho Santa Fe. She was allowed to remain free on a $200,000 bond yesterday. She's going to be back in court today. She's 45 years old. She says, I'm not hiding. I'm not evading. I'm very anxious for the truth to come out about all of this. I bet. You know, I don't know if it was just the area up in North County. I didn't think it was that windy in Mission Valley yesterday.

24:52As bad as they said it was going to be. I mean, it was windy, but I was expecting like, oh my gosh, like a tornado around here, you know, or a hurricane. And it didn't seem like that. When I walked out of this building yesterday, I thought I was going to be blown away. Really? Woods and I walked out at the same time and I was like, I'm that bad. I was like, oh my gosh. Really? My clothes down and everything. Yeah. Good thing you got those guys there to balance. Yeah. Good thing. Chris, what? Come in here real quick. Sienna, what's it supposed to be like today? Well, it's supposed to calm down around noon today, the high winds. But it was crazy. I mean, trees were brought down. A big rig on the 8th freeway was knocked open. Wow. Yeah. Oh my gosh. The wind gusts peaked at 60 miles per hour. What were you saying, Chris? Yeah, when I left this building, the volleyball court downstairs, the sand was blowing in my face. Wow. Seriously, it was just really, really bad. Do you mean the fake volleyball court that no one uses ever since building it? I've seen a couple people use it. Maybe they put a snack bar in instead of a volleyball court. At the airport, though, the winds didn't cause any flight delays or cancellation, but planes were...

26:03forced to land out of the west instead of their normal approach. Wow. And I did. I noticed planes flying out a different way and I was like, what's going on? That trips me out when that stuff happens. Especially when you're on it. You have to circle around. Hey guys, tell me what you think a guy that talks like this sounds like when he sings. Sorry. I'm pretty freaking nervous. So does her yes count for Hollywood? I've been kind of been teased my whole life about how high-pitched my voice is, but if I didn't talk the way I talked, I would be able to sing the way. Wow. So what do you think that guy sounds like when he sings? You might be surprised. Or will you? We'll play it next. So once again, what would somebody that talks like this Sing Light. Sorry. I'm pretty freaking nervous. So does her yes count from you? No. I've kind of been teased my whole life about how high-pitched my voice is, but if I didn't talk the way I talked, I would be able to sing the way. Well, we're going to play it for you here in just a second. By the way, some M1s were calling and saying they couldn't tell if the word of the day was phone, as in somebody's on the phone, or foam, and it is, in fact,

27:54Boom. As in the parties that you used to go to. Yes. As in the parties I used to throw. Full moon parties. Yes. You know, that I still occasionally will throw. Attend and throw. Attend and throw. So anyway, don't forget that our meet and greet is set. It's happening a week from Friday. And gosh, we got great audio on the show today. There's so many funny things for you to hear today. I can't wait to get to. There's nothing better than weathermen freaking out about weather. There's nothing better, and we got some good stuff for you. Okay. So let me give you this. Sorry. I'm pretty freaking nervous. So does her yes count for Hollywood? No. I've kind of been teased my whole life about how high-pitched my voice is, but if I didn't talk the way I talked, I would be able to sing the way. All right, so that's the way that he sounds when he speaks. Now we're going to hear him sing, I Can't Make You Love Me. Here we go. His name is Corey Lavoie, and he was on American Idol.

29:33Cause here it is In these fires And I feel Cause I can't I killed it Wow I killed it He killed it That was really good He killed that I was pretty freaking nervous Sister Brooks, what's up, man? Have you judged? Yes I think it was amazing I love his voice Who's that? Yeah, who's Sister Brooks? Special guess His sister, I think, isn't it? Isn't? I think so I think he's amazing He gives me chill bumps Yeah So does her yes count for Hollywood? No. Well, we'll see. Let's see. Maybe half a vote. Half a vote. Dude, I think you got a good voice, man. I was really surprised and impressed because I didn't know because your speaking voice was so high that I didn't know where your singing voice was going to sit. I've kind of been teased my whole life about how high-pitched my voice is, but if I didn't talk the way I talked, I wouldn't be able to sing the way that I was. But you're very gifted.

30:36He's good. You're very gifted. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hole. Interesting. Okay. Who's this? This is Michael Jackson coming. Is it? MJ. Well, yeah, I think it's weird that you guys would freak out that he would sound like that because I was the original with talking differently. If you had heard the way I talk at first. then a lot of you would probably be like, what's he going to sound like when he sings? But then when I did, I was beautiful. It's true. I sound like an angel. You do. You sound like an angel. I was just having a conversation just yesterday with my artificial intelligence goldfish. His name is Simon. Simon. And I was talking to him and I said to him, Simon, quit being so... Funky, you got such bad body odor. He's a fish. He's in the water? I don't really have body odor. I don't think they sweat. And I go, how's the water in there? And he goes, what water? Get it? Because he doesn't even know he's in water. He's a fish. And now... That wasn't that funny, Michael. This is my favorite joke about my fish, Simon. Aren't you dead? Start over. Am I dead? Yeah.

32:03No, that's a bit. It's a bit. I believe that. I faked it. Where are you right now? Nashville. Why? I'm recording a new album. Oh, good. Well, we'll look forward to that, Mike. Some country? What's that? Some country? I think I might try my hand at it. Do you want to hear some of the stuff that I've been working on? Sure. Is it country songs? No, this isn't a country song. Oh, okay. This is just some stuff I've been working on. Okay. Listen. She was more like a beauty queen. Did you just change the words to Billie Jean? Yeah, I took the original that I did. Right. And then I reworked it and I made the words different. Because in the original, she was more like a beauty queen. And in this one, she was more like a brillia cream. That's what I did in this one. Okay. You just changed the words. You're kind of like Eskimo Blue Waters. Yeah, she's more like a brillia cream. From a marticy? Yeah, from a marticy. From a marticy. Yeah.

33:05You're the one. That's right. Dance on the phone. And around. And around. She's an eye and a wand. Eye and a wand. Pooka dance. Yeah. Pooka dance. I'm in on it. That's good. It's familiar. This is a good part. Breaking Jew girl's heart? New girl? New girls. Oh, I thought you said Jew girls. You can't say that. I would never say that. Oh, all right. I'm not anti-Semitic. Wow. I'm not anti-Semitic. Say it. Anti-Semitic. Yeah. Our badge. Billy Cheese, not my blood. Billy Cheese, not my blood. She's just a crib. She's just a crib. Vegan, I am the one. Vegan. This doesn't make sense, Michael. Gay. That guy just called you gay? Yeah. Sounded like it. What was that? Heard it my whole life. Fair enough.

34:35Hi, guys. I just wanted to call in and say I'll give the high voice guys a hard time. No, we won't. Good luck in Nashville. Hey, we said that guy killed it. He did. Beat it. There he is. So, okay. A couple of things. I wanted to tell you about Sienna's recap. Got me. She said she got home yesterday and she got to spend a little time with Sagey. They're a little five-month-old. And we had a meeting yesterday. So she got home a little bit later than usual. Yeah. And she got home, took care of Sage, and then gave Sage to Todd around 6.30. He said, hey, listen, I'm tired. Can you take care of her so I can go to bed? And you know what Todd said back? What? He goes, oh, five-hour shift over?

35:37Todd. Everybody in my eyesight just got a look. Chris, L-O-B, Woods, Jay. Everybody was like. Let me explain a little bit because. He was very sarcastic when he said it. But can I tell you what she said back? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She goes, you still going to Vegas this weekend? Touche. Oh, boy. Man, oh, man. His face. His face froze. And he was like, yeah, okay. He goes, well, not anymore, apparently. You ever do that, though, with your spouse? You think that you're so like. I got him. I got him. I got him. And then they're like, really? You're like, oh, my bad. And you go.

36:30Todd has this week off because he's starting work with a new company on Monday. So he has this week at home. And so he's been really sweet and staying with Sage in the morning when usually she's with my mom. Well, yesterday I got home a little later, so I didn't spend as much time with Sage. But always when I get home, I want the baby and the baby's with me in the afternoon. He'll hold her every once in a while. He's a very hands-on dad. I told him yesterday, you're in the 90th percentile of hands-on dads. Maybe like 100. He's really good. But that comment, oh man. Because please, when I'm home, I'm with the baby. I'm never home and not with the baby. You're not playing Xbox or anything while he's running around with the kid. And when I get home, I'm like, I know you've been with the baby all morning. So you take her to the house, put your feet up, whatever. I'll take her now. Not like I haven't been to work all morning. Yeah. Taking grenades. Yeah. Just in the trenches. Just being dynamic. Leaving house 3 a.m. What? So, no, he immediately was like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that. He knew better. I've done it a million times. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll pull something out, and she'll be like, really? How many diapers you changed today? Wow. You're just going to kick it? Yeah, you're just going to kick it? Hey, Mike, maybe you...

37:48Maybe you update that status on Facebook. Priorities, pal. Hey, is Man vs. Food on again? You're going to watch that episode again? Oh, I'm sorry. It's Andrew Zimmern. I won't disturb you. I got it. There's a new episode of Andrew Zimmern that you haven't got to yet? Your twins are screaming and crying and throwing things. Don't get up. Don't get up. I got this. Stay right where you are. What was that you were saying, Mike? What were you complaining? And you just, you cower, and you turn into the turtle that puts his head back in the shell. Oh, yeah. I get a big smile on my face, and I go, touche. Well done, honey. To the men's defense, I mean, there really is a difference between. How long women can be with a baby. And it's no problem for me to be with her. I love it. But for a guy, it is a little bit harder. Even though they may be the best hands-on dad, it's like they do need a little bit of a break. I'm in the half a percentile. The one-th? I'm in the one-th percentile. Of what? Of dads with infants. I'm the worst. Now, when they get to be Jake's age.

39:01I take on a whole new meaning as dad. Yeah. But not at that age. I could not have less to do with them. I'm interested to see how I will be. I want to be the J's and Todd's of the world that are like, oh, no problem. I'll change it up. And I'm going to. I'm going to learn. I want to. And I'm committed to doing that. But I'm also really scared. Like, I feel safer knowing that. that the baby's with Jamie. I think I'll feel safer. You'll figure it out. I'm nervous. You'll become a pro. You won't have a choice. Yeah. I remember feeling very guilty, and then I talked to CB, my friend CB, and he was like, oh, yeah, it's the same way. Yep. He goes, until they turn two or three, I can't figure it out. Yeah, I love holding them. Everybody's different. I love holding them and playing with them, but definitely when they can move around and have their own personality, it's a lot more fun. Rebecca brought up something that I didn't think about the other day. Yes, last night. She was saying how, you know, you got to take the kids when you got little babies and stuff. You got to take them out and do stuff. Yeah. Or you go insane. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You'll absolutely lose your mind. And she's like, think about this. Think about the snowstorms that are going on back east right now. People can't leave their house. She goes, imagine. Because Nita is going to visit family out there.

40:27They did artificial insemination, and it gave them five kids. Holy smokes. And she delivered five babies. She delivered five babies. Quintublets. Quintublets. Holy crap. And now they're two and a half years old. Oh, my goodness. Screaming, terrible fives. What do you do? How do you get through that? Rebecca goes, she goes, what do you do when you can't leave the house and there are five of them and they're running around? Oh, my gosh. And it brought up a point to me. I go, you know what trips me out? How come they don't annoy themselves? Screaming so much. Oh, they do. That's what keeps them going. That makes them busty. Why aren't they like, shh, to each other? Like, hey, hey. And baby talk, go, hey. Shut up. Triplets before do that. They'll be kind of mellow because they just will tucker each other out and then they're like, okay, and they're speaking this gibberish to each other. Yeah, but when you're just in that scream, they get in that scream state where you would just wonder why they wouldn't go, hey, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Phil. Phil. Yes, Rod. Phil the baby. Yeah, and Rod. Yes. Ask Melissa and Karen.

41:56I did. Like four times. What do you want me to do? You talk to Sharon. I'll talk to Melissa. You take care of her. I'll zip her lip. Trust me. Sharon. Please shut up. Please shut up. I'm begging you to shut up. Please shut your mouth. If you keep crying, they're going to lose their minds. It's making me... Can't you hear yourself? It's making me... Insane. Shut up. She can't speak English. She can't speak English. I can't believe these are our sisters. That sucks. Hi. Can't go outside. I'm annoyed myself. Shut up. Can't go outside. Can't do anything. Terrible. Oh, my gosh. Earplugs. Valium. Yeah. Jack Daniels and Valium will get you. Oh, my goodness. So we're going to play Stump the Dawn. Oh, wow. Yeah. Woo! I've been boning up weird on my Sopranos. You have? Yes. I always do. I just watch it over and over and over. Call us right now. Babe, it's work. Call us right now if you think that you know Sopranos trivia. We've got the coolest prize, too, today. What's that song called? I've got to find it here. It's called Woke Up This Morning, maybe. We have a $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Oh, sweet. For Valentine's Day. Yeah. You beat me, you win Valentine's present. Yeah. All you have to do.

43:22Is beat Woods in Sopranos trivia. Stump me. Stump him. But here's the thing. Don't. Here's what we don't want. We don't want. What was the color of the napkin in Artie's, you know. You might still be able to do that. Don't give me like addresses, like numbers and stuff. But yeah, I mean, I'm pretty good. I know this stuff pretty well. Yeah. See, I thought that somebody might have a DVD and they'd be like, what's the license plate on the car that passes by? You know what I mean? Like plot related questions, character related questions. I pretty much know that show inside and out. We'll see. Yeah. 570-1949. And if you stump him, you stump the Don, you get that prize that I already forgot. It's a $50 gift certificate to proflowers.com. Just in time for Valentine's Day. That's right. Sounds wonderful. I have been stumped before, but it's rare. It's rare. It's rare. It's rare. It's hard to do. Chris, I'll get it. Let me get it. Mikey, Cheryl, what's your name? What's your name? M1 Bergen? Bergen, like Bergen County. Bergen County, New Jersey. All right, what's your question for Stump the Dump? Oh, man, he's from Jersey. You're speaking out. I don't know who the other one was. It was Chris and one of the other guys.

44:52Stuck in the woods in South Jersey. Yep, it was Pauly. It was Chris and Pauly. Pauly, okay. What was the hot dog company on the cover of the bag that they found in the front seat of the white van with the ketchup packets inside of them? I thought somebody asked you this. No, they asked me what did they eat in the van, and they ate a frozen ketchup packet. Right, but what was the company? This is a shot in the dark, dude. Was it Nathan's? So lucky, dude. Wow. Wow. Woodsy. Holy crap. Sorry, bro. He's good. They were right in my backyard in that episode. Were they? Were they really? Yeah. That's what it looked like where you lived. Mm-hmm. 570-1949. Give us a call if you want to stump the Don. You got to know Sopranos trivia. And if you can stump Woodsy, you will win it. That prize that I forgot again. It's a $50 gift. Gift certificate to proflowers.com. Wow, I'm proud of you, Woods. Mikey Show, who's this? Brandon, turn your radio down. Okay, go ahead and ask Woodsy a question. All right. When Tony's cousin, Tony, gets out of prison and some of the captains get out of prison, there's a guard who gets his arm broken. It was Pauly's friend? Yeah, Salvitro. Okay, what was the payment that the other captain had to make?

46:19To make up for it. Let's see. Wow. That the other cat, that Feach LaManna had to make? Yeah, the other guy. That Pauly asked him for in the bakery? Yeah, he asked him for one amount, but he ended up paying a different amount. Oh, no. Oh, no. His head just hit the microphone. Hold on. I want to say. You can do it. I know that he took 10% from Sal, but he asked Feach. Five seconds. A hundred grand? Nah. You got me. He settled for a thousand bucks. Thousand bucks. Thousand bucks. You got him. Hang on. Hang on the line. Oh, gosh. I just hit the drop button instead of the hold button. Call back and you won. Wow. That's rare. Man. Doesn't happen very often. That's tough, dude. Yeah, but he knew all the other days. I know. Salvicho. It's the numbers. The numbers are getting me. We have a portion of the bizarre 911 call.

47:25From this guy, Dr. Nassif. He used to be Charlie Sheen's neighbor. And he makes this call to 911 after Charlie had been on this big long bender. Because he had just talked to him. And they didn't want him to call 911. But he was worried, so he calls 911. It's such a weird call. And we'll play it for you next. At 8 o'clock, it's turned into something very different. What it was supposed to be is us sampling our... Favorite Super Bowl dishes, you know, and talking to you about what food you like at the Super Bowl and all that stuff. And I forgot to bring in my dish. Forgot to bring it in or? Make it at all. Right. Make it at all. Even do it at all. Give it a second thought. Yes. And so there will be a trial and the M1s will be the jury. Wow. And that's the way that this is going to happen. Word of the day is foam. Foam.

48:45And it's foam as in, you know, like when you go get an espresso, sometimes you ask them to put some foam on the top. Yep. Let's see. Also, the M1 meet and greet date is set in stone. We are doing it a week from Friday, and it'll be from 5 to 7. We'd love for you to come out and join us at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. And it's going to be a lot of fun, so come on out there and do that with us. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. Let's see. Sienna, what's going on in news? Are we alone in the universe? No. Well, there's other humans around. I would agree with L-O-B. There's other humans around. Are we alone in the universe? Extraterrestrial. Okay, you guys. NASA scientists have announced the Kepler, which is one of their orbiting telescopes in space. It's pronounced Kepler. The Kepler has spotted five planets about the size of Earth orbiting stars in our galaxy. Now, these planets are orbiting in what is known as the habitable zone, which puts them at a distance from the sun where liquid water could exist. Now, before this, there was only about two planets outside our solar system that were even thought to be called habitable. So now, like, this raises a really big question.

50:06There could be life on these planets. There is. There is life on these planets. Probably another Mikey morning show. Yeah, yeah. There's a Mikey morning show broadcasting right now on the planet Nebula. Yeah. They call that a multiverse, parallel universe to say that there are multiple. Call it whatever you want. Don't make it a cinnamon bun. You know what makes it a cinnamon bun? Once it's been put in the oven with cinnamon on it and baked and you see it, you're frosting on it. You guys, the day will come. Why would there only be people on Earth? There's people out there. The universe is so expansive. For sure it is. Why would we think that we are the only one? Because we're egomaniacs. We are. Also a local story. Some good news. Wait, wait, wait. I want to answer your question. Okay. The reason that we think that is because. We have a bunch of telescopes out there right now. We haven't seen them. Nobody's waving yet. Not the Kepler, whatever the new one is. So you're saying God couldn't have made another whole planet? Maybe he did. We just haven't seen it. So when people go, well, are we so self-absorbed to think that we're the only ones out there? I'm like, no, but we sure haven't seen anything. We have seen some evidence. They all start as theories, and then they get investigated, and oh, okay, no life there.

51:21But they'll find it. That movie, Signs, was not a documentary, by the way. Just FYI, everybody. That movie was either scary. FYI, yes it was. I can't wait for you to meet an alien. Maybe you're looking at one right now. Maybe he'll come to our meet and greet. I cannot wait for you to shake hands with an alien. What? Perhaps Woods is an alien. The day will come. I wonder if he'll ask for your autograph. Probably not. Probably not because he's already, there's another Mikey on another planet in Nebula. You guys. And there's another Woods. Open your imagination. His name is Vood on the other planet. I think it's just Wood. Wood. If there was, how come we haven't seen him? Because we will. It takes time. It does. Look at these steps are being made. A huge step was taken by NASA yesterday. Sophisticated. Technology. Yes. Maybe cure cancer. Great. We are running out of natural resources. They're trying to find other viable options as well. Mexico. You guys. We go to Mexico. We'll be fine. You just.

52:26Wait. What else, Anna? You'll be sorry. Also a local story. Good news in San Diego. The city sees the lowest number of murders this last year than 1968. That was the last time murders had been down. In 2009, there were 41. And last year, there was 29. That's great. That's good news. Good news. Very good news. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, the San Diego State Aztecs, who are still the No. 7 team in the country, man. It's going to be a lot of fun around here come March, come March Madness. Man, they pulled out a last-second victory last night over Colorado State, 56-54. Senior DJ Gay hit the game-winning shot. Gay? With an 18-foot fadeaway jumper. With 1.8 seconds left for the victory. And did you guys know there's a football game this weekend? It's Sunday. It's the Super Bowl. Who's playing? It's in icy, nasty Dallas, Texas, my hometown. The weather is terrible. I have friends that have been locked inside for four days. Icy roads. They have no way to take care of any of the problems there either. There's like one sand truck in the whole city. Well, Big Ben Roethlisberger has been there before. He's been in the Super Bowl. He's won two rings.

53:35They're asking him, Ben, what's your approach this year coming back for the third time? Cut one. You learn to get more comfortable with it and enjoy it. The first time when I went to Detroit, I said it a bunch and I said to myself that you just never know if you're going to get back. But I think deep down you're like, I'm getting back. Now I think I take the approach of this really, you just never know. Yeah, I saw a little report this morning on TMZ.com of a video of Ben Roethlisberger blowing it out last night. with a few of his teammates. What was he doing? He was out drinking. He ran up a $1,000 bar tab. What are you doing on TMZ? Sniffing around. Doing my job. Yeah, it's a video, though. He's preparing himself. He is getting ready for the big game. Now I'm like, maybe I can take the Packers. Because you know Aaron Rodgers ain't out at the piano bar. No chance. When they do that, man, when they traditionally, when they do that, when they go out and party, it's bad news. Unless you're the Raiders back in the day. Well, maybe he was buying everybody else drinks, but he just needed to just get his nerves out. No, they said he was drinking rum and Diet Cokes all night. Allegedly. The game's not today. They have a video. I could have just been Coke.

54:45A cola. Cocaine. A cola. A cola. He's been to the big dance before, whatever they call the Super Bowl. Yeah, maybe party before, too. That's a huge advantage. He's just, you know, taking a load off. You can relax. You know, he's a Midwestern guy, blue-collar dude. He's tapering. He wants to have a few drinks. He's tapering. So this is Dr. Paul Nassif, and he's a former neighbor of Charlie Sheen. He's the one that made the 911 call when Charlie had been on the bender. Yes, sir. I just got a call from the residents. You say Charlie Sheen, the one from Platoon and Wall Street? Major League? Yeah, it's the one. Now, this is Dr. Nassif's wife. Oh, wait. Am I right in that? Adrienne Maloof talks about her husband. Yeah. So this is his wife talking to Ellen about him making that 911 call. She's on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, really? Yeah. Adrienne Maloof.

56:14You were living down the street or next door to Charlie Sheen, is that right? Down the street, yes. Okay, and there was a situation recently where your husband was called to help him for something? Yes, it was early in the morning, and a woman on the phone was saying that she needed to talk to my husband. And I said, well, who is this? And she said, I'm calling for Charlie Sheen. And I knew at that time, I said, it must be something really important because it was about 5 in the morning. Oh, wow. So my husband got on the phone, and the woman was saying that he has stomach cramps, bad stomach cramps, and she's not really sure what's going on. So what he did is he said, you've got to call 911 right away. And he hung up the phone, and he just thought, you know what, I want to make sure that 911 gets there. And that's what he did. He called 911. And Charlie's been a good friend of ours for years. Man, he's doing rehab at home, which I don't think is a good idea. But I hope he's all right. I think your stomach tends to get upset when you ingest, like, bottles and bottles of vodka and pounds of cocaine. I think that might do it. That's a true story, Woods. Yes, it is. It does. Josh Brolin. That's all I hear. Josh Brolin. I've always liked Josh Brolin. Yeah, he's good. Loved his dad.

57:40His dad was a good actor. He got married recently. And he's kind of a good old boy. He's kind of a real cowboy. You know, I mean, when you see him play those roles in the movie, there's a reason that they hired Josh Brolin. He's a real man's man. Listen to when he got married, what he decided he was going to do about the paparazzi. Ultimately, I thought, well, if there's going to be photographers and anything, we should probably get somebody. And I had an idea. about having, like, four cowboy friends of mine with shotguns on horseback. And I figured if a paparazzi came up from, you know, the urban, like, Los Angeles or whatever, and you go up and you're in an area that you really don't understand or know, then if you see a shotgun, you're probably not going to try and take a picture, you know what I mean? So I called the local sheriff, great guy, and I called him and I said, listen, I said, you know, how you doing? He said, Josh, you know, how you doing? It's good to hear from me. And I said, yeah, you know what, we're having a... up at the ranch. He goes, I know what you're doing. And I said, all right, well, since you know what, you know, you think you know what I'm doing, if we were to have some guys on horseback and say there would be photographers coming up and maybe taking pictures of this party, you know, even if they weren't on our property, if we were to shoot at them or near them with salt shot, how would you feel about that? And there was a long pause. And then finally after the long pause, he goes, it's deer season. I don't give a s***.

59:04Wow. There's Texas. Isn't that great? Yeah. Good friends like that. Salt shot. Good for him. If you have family like that. Salt shot. Yeah. It's not going to kill anybody, but it's going to sting. It's going to sting good. It's going to sting real good. You know what, though? It's deer season. Y'all can do what you want. Don't tell anybody. If you get one of them paparazzis or whatever and you need it mounted, take him down to Ted's place. Ted's. Ted's taxidermy. Yeah, Ted's taxidermy. Don't take him to Dale. He ain't working anymore because his daddy hurt his back. He's on the drink. He's on the drink. He's on the drink, yeah. You can take him to Daryl. Daryl's still open because his father, Daryl. is out of business now because his granddad, Daryl, is done. Daryl gets the job done, but it ain't great. It's not as good. Well, he only works three, four days a week, you know. Oh, hell. Three, four days a week. Sometimes he's only working on the weekend. Yeah. He's got that thing with the elbow.

1:00:16The thing with the elbows has been hurting him because his granddad, Daryl, had the same thing, but his daddy, Daryl, said, if you get that, just take the Percocets. He pertinere lost his thumb in the meat press. Pertinere. Holy crap. I haven't heard that in 25 years. Pertinere. Pertinere. Pertinere. He pertinere lost it in the press. Wow, Jay. Eating the potted meat. Sienna. Lost a diamond. Weird. And Woodsy's dad found it. It was here in the studio. My savior. And so got us to thinking, what major thing have you ever lost? And maybe you recovered it, maybe you didn't. But it doesn't even have to be that. I mean, I was thinking about maybe you go on vacation and, you know, you forgot something or you lost something. Meds that you need when you're on vacation. Uh, your birth certificate when you're, you know, get your passport when you're about to get on a plane. My virginity. Yeah. Okay. You know, never got it back. You gave that away. Never got it back. You gave that away. But I never got it back. Oh, you got a story out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I have a couple of those things. What was his name? What's that? Yeah. I have a couple of those things. When I was a kid, I lost my retainer.

1:01:44I've done that. A lot of kids did that in the lunchroom. And then you had to go. What do you do? You took it out and stuck it on the tray? You take it out to eat. Yeah. That's disgusting. And you put it in the corner of your lunch tray because your mom doesn't give you a sack lunch. She makes you get the ticket lunch. Yeah. That's aggressive. Yeah. And you throw it out and then you tell the lunch lady and then you and the lunch lady then stay after with plastic gloves and go through the trash until you find the routine. Oh, my God. Do you tell your mom? No. No. As long as it's recovered. As long as it's recovered, you don't say a word. Then you've got to wash it off and put it back in your mouth after it's been in the filth. Maybe I did because I think she put it in baking soda and peroxide or something like that. Maybe gasoline. I lost mine into Marie Callender's. I left it out. No, my retainer. That is a weird place to lose your reason. Why would you make love? I was in high school, and I was with my boyfriend at the time. Obviously. And I, for whatever reason, had my bottom retainer in, and I put it in a napkin or whatever. And I had to go back in and tell my waiter, with my boyfriend, you guys threw away my retainer.

1:02:57And they found it. Oh, my God. I didn't go through the trash. Of course not. Girls, I wonder what the statistics are on girls wearing their retainers as opposed to guys wearing their retainers. Guys don't do it. I didn't do it. I was bad with it. I had the one in seventh grade where you had the rubber bands. Oh, yeah. And you had to tighten it. You're supposed to tighten it once a week. Yeah, with a key. And so I wouldn't wear it because it was embarrassing. the whole time. And then right before I went to the dentist, I would tighten it like six notches. You could tighten it yourself? Yeah, I came with a key to tighten it. It's the worst. Did anybody here ever have to wear headgear? Oh, yeah. You did, Jake? Oh, headgear. Well, his braces were homemade. Made out of wood. I was jealous of my friend's headgear. She put beads on it. I was like, I want headgear. M1 Cara from San Diego. I, too, lost a diamond earring on a run when I was pregnant after running 13 miles. Oh, pregnant? It's a one carat, so it was worth $5,000. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I walked the 13 miles looking for the earring, never to find it, and then I had to eat mac and cheese for a long time so I could replace the earring before my husband realized I had lost it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow.

1:04:21I did a marathon and still didn't get the diamond. But screwbacks don't work. So just so you know, screwbacks are a kind that's supposed to work really well if you have diamonds. They work for me. I like screwbacks. Screwbacks is actually a Nickelback cover band that plays in OB every once in a while. My jeweler said actually don't ever get the screwbacks. I love them. Anyways, I'm glad you found your earring. It's probably on the bottom of some Kenyan's Adidas. Wedged. What is this? I've found two different... You have the same voice, by the way, Woods. For your Egyptian. Yeah. Your Kenyan. Your Russian. Your Russian. And I love it. No! He's quitting. He's quitting. I love you. He's out of here. What? No! Stop it! At least he has voices. I can't even do anything. There he goes. His Hungarian.

1:05:15It doesn't matter. It makes it funnier. I know it does. That's what I was trying to say. Here's Woods' Kenyan. What are you doing? Here's his Egyptian. What are you doing? I don't know. Here's his Hungarian. What are you doing? I don't know. My mom does the same thing. Same voice for everyone. She got one right. She always did voices and would always be like, whatever. She got one right. What was it? Francesca. Yeah. And so then we were like, oh, that's pretty good. So she used it for everything. She didn't bring it back in. He got a real big hug. I'm going to start pouting. I know it. I'll stand in the corner. It's okay. I meant that it was really funny. It's a compliment. That's right. It's a compliment. Hey, look. Count Dracula just walked in. Yes, let me tell you. I want to tell you. Don't listen, Woods. How are you doing? I don't know what to do. At least you got his Scottish one down. Do I? Scottish. It sounds just my Egyptian. No, it doesn't. Look, there's a string. Good day, mate. Woods, you're much better than me, so don't worry. I'm from down under. Good day, mate. Do a New England accent. Yes. Hello. How are you? I'm from Boston. This is wicked awesome. This is wicked awesome.

1:06:24Some crumpets for me. M1 plumber from San Diego. About a year ago, I went surfing with my buddy in Mexico. I hid my wedding ring in a piece of trash in the ashtray. And afterwards, we got out of the car or out of the water. We got in the van. We drove north maybe a half hour. And I said, hey, where's my ring in the ashtray? And he says, oh, well, I cleaned up it. and put it in the McDonald's bag and threw it in the trash can. Oh, man. Careful with the language, pal. Yeah, you're on the radio, buddy. Did the Mexican guy come to you and say, hello, sir, you have lost your wedding ring, but I find it. Hey, dude, you got to be careful with the language, okay? Okay. All right. Well, that was stealing. I was stealing. And we drove back, and I rifled through the trash can, and I found it. Oh, lucky. You are a lucky dude. You're a lucky, lucky guy. My dad buried his wedding band when he went out surfing. And I think, I don't remember if he came back and it was gone out of the spot or he couldn't find where he buried it. By the way, he lost it. He buried a ring? It was like in his hat or something like that. And he buried it under the sand. I learned that lesson. Don't leave stuff on the beach. That's right. You did. 11 days until Valentine's Day. Lovers.

1:07:44All right, all you lovers out there. Lovers. Lover. You know that there are 11 days left until Valentine's Day. Start practicing now. He goes, mm. Ew. It's 11 days until Valentine's Day. Ew, you guys. Oh, my God. I don't get it. As you're preparing for your big Valentines for your lover. Wiener time. Don't forget this message from your Uncle Victor. Hey, it's Uncle Victor, and I want you to buy me a treat on Valentine's Day. Yeah. I married your sister. Melinda. I bought her a book about France, because she said something about France one time. I let her yell at me one time at the mall. It's a freebie. Hey, why don't you buy me a treat?

1:08:47I never had you buy me anything once. I got you service repair from my friend. Buy me a treat. Service repair. Melinder. Melinder. Freebie. This is great. When we come back, there's a weather guy in Canada. He had a Freudian slip. Said the wrong thing. He was trying to say a hot... cup of coffee. No way. Yeah. No way. Oh, yeah. No way. We'll play it. We'll play Bleet next. Yeah. Jay, the old man that does science is coming up in just a bit. Can't wait. You're going to make elephant toothpaste. Elephant toothpaste. Don't know what it is and purposefully do not know what it is. We'll find out on the air together. But Jay does these.

1:10:56experiments, science experiments. It's got a lab coat, the whole bit. And we videotape them. I'm scared to death. I know, me too, because I'm looking at all the ingredients and they look kind of scary. These are serious. You can't do this at home. Yeah. It looks pretty serious, man. Can we stand over there? Yeah, sure. Thank you. For sure. Jay's like, in fact, you should. I would advise that. All right, so let's see. We're going to have our Super Bowl debate in 25 minutes. I can't wait. Can't you? I don't know why I said that. Sometimes I just say stuff and you call me out. Touche. Our M1 Valentine's meet and greet is going to happen a week from Friday, downtown San Diego, the East Village Tavern, 5 to 7 at night, and happy hour prices, and it's a singles mixer. You know? Bring on the big ones.

1:11:53Sorry, Sienna. Couples can go. Yeah. If I'm in a relationship, can I go? Yeah. We're going to identify the single people with a wristband. You guys just put your keys in a bowl and then at the end we'll just pick from them. Woods just taught me what that was. I did. I did on Saturday. I had no idea. What a key party was? No. When he told me, I was like, they really did that? He almost crawled out of his skin. So gross. Was it? It is gross. Yes, it is. There are so many things I think I'm naive to. You know how you guys were talking about a foam party earlier? I don't know what that is. Oh. Oh, really? Mm-mm. It's a party filled with foam. Dude. In a bathing suit, some people. You used to go on downtown here every weekend, a big foam room. It's disgusting, though, when you look at it after the foam's all gone. It's so gross. Nasty carpet. And you leaving the club at 2 a.m. covered in foam. Soaked the bone. But I'll tell you what. I went to one in Cancun from our senior trip. We'll never forget it for the rest of my life. This is one of the most fun nights I've ever had. Top three. Foam party. Foam everywhere. I've been to one in Key West. Got crazy. I remember that one. It was fabulous. Did you get crazy, L.O.B.? Everybody did. Uh-oh. I got swept up in it. Are those the kind of things where even chubby guys? Everyone. Everybody? Dude, you could have gotten it in there. There's foam everywhere.

1:13:22Fun. We should do it. No. Let's do it in here. I do not want to do it. You know what? The consequences, I bet, are pretty bad, too. What do you mean? Yeah, you know what? I got down and I had fun. Went and had a big foam party down in Cancun. Got herpes, and it was really great. No. How are you getting herpes? What kind of foam party are you going to? I don't know. You end up getting too many drinks or something. I've never been to one. Have you not? Surprisingly, no. Oh, boy. I never did. You missed out. M1 Bobby Fox. from La Mesa. Are you there? Yes, I am. What was the word of the day? It was, and you're a winner of a four-pack of SeaWorld Fun cards worth $2.80 and also UFC 126 pay-per-view for this weekend. Great. Thank you, guys. Congratulations, dude. Hang on the line. Okay. It was a Freudian slip. He didn't mean to say it, and that has happened to all of us. This was taped off the television, so the audio is not the greatest, but you get the idea. I don't know what he said. I do. I'm trying to think of what it would be. Did it also start with a C? Yes. You know why, Sienna? You know why I think he said that?

1:14:58Because he was thinking of cocoa. He was going to say cocoa. And he was also thinking of the word cup. So the word cocoa was going through his mind. Wait. Wait a minute for a word. Yeah, that's it. No. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. Oh my gosh. Sorry, sorry. Leave me alone. It's the worst word. There's no question, but I thought. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wood said that. I was like. You guys all think that? No, I didn't think that. Woods was a bad girl one. I thought it too. But then when you said he combined cup and cocoa, I was like, oh, I was on a wrong path. Even writing that word is creepy. There's like, I want to like, wash your mouth. I didn't do it. I had to wash that being like, you pig. I scratched through it. Dude, there are guys right now buying meth at a truck stop that are like, you're weird. Guys in prison are like, yo. Oh, easy. Easy. Easy. There's a guy doing push-ups right now in the courtyard of a prison. He just stopped mid-push-up. And he stopped mid-push-up. He's like, what?

1:16:12Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. I'm a monster. All right, let's bring in Jay, the old man that does science. Jay, the old man that does science. He's going to make elephant toothpaste. What? Now, he's lit a – he has – so far, this is what he has done. Oh, boy. One time he lit a pickle. Oh, my gosh. Jay just walked into the room. He's wearing a white lab coat and protective goggles. Safety goggles. Yeah, well, this is not. I can't get my gloves on. This is dangerous, actually. Is it? Oh, my gosh. Should we get out of here? Jay. Jay. No, no, don't ruin my glove. Okay. I thought you were going to put it on your head. Don't ruin my glove. Don't ruin my glove. Yeah, okay. Thank you, nurse. Hang on a minute. Hang on, hang on. I'm getting another microphone. Okay. Here we go. Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. Jay. Yes. Can you listen to me? Yes. Yeah, where's Adam? Can you say it's coming? I'd rather he do it than me try to do it on my iPhone. You want me to do it on your iPhone? No. Well, Adam was coming in. It's me doing it. Look at that. Oh, wow. Jay? Yes, sir? You definitely make me nervous. You guys are all standing over there? Yeah. So I'm going to ask you. Hey, it's Adam. Jay? Yes. Have you ever...

1:17:35Absolutely, I've done this before. Okay, so we're not going to die. No, no, we're not going to die. Okay. We're definitely not going to die. But you definitely can't try this at home. Are we going to do anything in this studio that will set off a fire? No, no, no. Will there be noxious fumes? No. Because you realize that if there are fumes or, Jay, if the fire things go off, we'll be fired. Yeah, we'll be fine. Okay, so he is pouring a bottle of peroxide. I'm guessing that's peroxide? It is. It's peroxide, but it's 30% of the stuff you can't buy. 3% is what you have at home. 6% maybe. This is 30%. This will eat your skin. So he's got white gloves on, and he's pouring it into a glass bottle of drinking water, a Voss glass bottle. True or Voss? True or Voss. Sienna's in the other room, by the way, watching this all through glass. I want to be on the other side of the wall just in case something bad happens. He's now putting detergent, like dishwashing detergent in. Oh, wow. Nothing has happened. Nothing's happening yet. Nothing's happening yet. He's making elephant toothpaste. Don't know what it is. We're about to find out. So we'll take blue and green. That just scared me so bad, Sienna. He said we're about to find out. I felt like I needed to push that.

1:18:57Now he's putting food coloring, and what color food coloring is it? That's green, and I'm going to do a little blue. Green and then blue. All right. I always get nervous when he does this. I'm just vomiting. Now he's putting blue food coloring with his white latex gloves, and he's got on protective goggles, which scares the pants off me that he's got those on. I'm not going to tell you what this ingredient is. Okay. All right. Oh, no. Keep a secret. All right. I'm so scared. Whatever the secret ingredient is. See, this is what I know about Jay. He's kind of, when it comes to, like, stuff, crazy stuff, he gets crazy. Yeah. Yes. He just poured a powder into a glass beaker. Okay. Who has a beaker? Jay. Just, like, at home. Yeah, he's like, what size baker do you need? So I'm going to come stand on this side of the table so I can get away from it as well. Oh, my God. Jay. I'm so glad I'm over here now. My heart's beating so fast. I'm in another room. All right. Here we go.

1:19:59This is all going to happen really fast. Don't do it. Don't do it. Here we go. He's pouring the liquid in. Oh, wow. It's foaming over. Oh, my gosh. It's all coming out of the top like gigantic. Foam party. It's the spew. It's foam. A foam, but we've already said the word foam. And there's smoke rising off of the top of it. I wish that you could tell us what the chemical reaction is. Wow. It looks like cotton candy just overflowing. Oh, wow. What is he doing now? Lighting something on fire. A candle? He's lighting a candle. Oh my gosh. He's lighting a candle. Putting it to the foam. Oh gosh. Oh, he is freaking me out. He's lighting a candle and he's holding the candle over the smoke. Oh, he's putting it into the foam. Oh, missed it. Do you have another candle? Maybe we just say that's good. It would have lit up, I think. It would have?

1:20:59Basically what's going on is it's producing a lot of oxygen from the hydrogen peroxide. Right. His eyes are burning. And so there's so much oxygen in it that that flame will ignite inside the container. But I missed the container. But basically you're just smelling soap. That's what your burning is in your eyes. So it's a soap reaction with the hydrogen peroxide. It's actually just crystal meth. Yeah. So you never snort it. Yeah. I guess we captured all that on video. Elephant toothpaste. That's small. You can do enough or it'll shoot up in the air. I mean, you put enough chemicals in, it'll actually shoot up in the air. It was so cool when it started foaming out the top. My heart is pounding so hard. That was the most chemicals I've ever used at once. Okay, great. That's super. Wonderful. It's hot. There's a chemical exchange, so it's super hot. Yeah, I'm not sure. I knew I wasn't sure about that old Mikey show thing. It's so soapy. It's so cool. What were we thinking? That was awesome. It almost exploded the place. That was awesome. That was awesome. It was awesome. It's scary. It's part of the rush. Now I know what meth cookers go through. Woods. Wow. Oh, that was so freaky. Look at that. We're going to get pictures and video on the internet.

1:22:24I get so scared with the old man science bit. We're pushing the envelope with the old man science bit. I know. It stinks. It's getting into my lungs. Oh, stop it. It smells like soap. Soap. Soap on steroids. I love you ever get freaked out. Always. Let's see. Asbestos. Asbestos. It's homemade asbestos. All right, where's my Super Bowl email? We have a Super Bowl email. This is a good one. I got this and I was like, holy Toledo, we got to read this. Or was it from yesterday? And I had it and I threw it away? I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. You ever just disorganized? Here we go. You ready? People can call about this and give us your opinion. 5701949. Mikey, my brother and I grew up Packers fans. We grew up in Appleton and went to a ton of Packer games growing up. He went to Wisconsin. I went to lacrosse. Anyway, we both ended up out here for different reasons. He got a job at Solar Turbines, met a girl, and moved out here. I came out, too. Well...

1:23:52My bro does really well at his job and knows some higher ups at solar turbines who scored two tickets to the Super Bowl. Nice. So you're probably thinking I'm pretty stoked, right? Obviously. Well, he's taking his girlfriend of one year. Oh, that hurt. She's a cool chick and I like her. You might end up marrying her. But dude. It's the Super Bowl. He could have ended that with dude. Yeah. You're going to take a girl over your bro who you grew up loving the Packers with? Oh, my. Am I in the wrong? That's M1 pissed. Yes, you're in the wrong. What? Who are you? His brother. Who are you? His brother.

1:24:56You, a Packers fan, to start saying who your brother gets to invite to a game. Well, he doesn't get to tell him, but come on, isn't it implied? There are times to bring your girlfriend or your wife. And there are times to bring your friend. Or your brother. Or your brother. Who you've been growing up watching the games with. Listen, you know, I love my brother. My brother is like a brother to me. He ain't like a girlfriend to me. You're married. But you're not hardcore. Yeah. You're not hardcore. If you got some awesome MMA backstage right there thing, you would bring Rebecca? It's different. Why? Because, I'll tell you, because some MMA event, I'd take my brother to that.

1:25:52Well, yeah, because that's meaningful to you. The Packers are meaningful to this guy. Wait a minute. The Super Bowl transcends any event. The Super Bowl is like, there's a reason they say it's the Super Bowl of blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Like, if this guy is in love with this girl and he wants to go to the biggest event on earth with this girl, that's his right. I don't suggest that they sleep together. Oh, boy. It's just his girlfriend. If it was his wife, different story. But it's just me. It's just me. It's just me. Even if. Even if. Look, I'm a girl that loves sports. I'm a big football fan. But it still doesn't mean as much to any girl. Yeah. That's not something that you should use to impress someone. Right. You know, it's something that you should do with someone who loves it as much as you because it's such a rare opportunity. Second. Sienna.

1:26:53Are you suggesting that this guy is simply taking the girl that he's in love with because he's trying to impress her? That's part of it. Yeah. Absolutely. No, probably because... That would have been when they were first starting to date. They've been dating a year. A whole year. He's in love with her. I was in love with Todd and with him for years and I got an opportunity to go to the Playboy Mansion and I brought one of my girlfriends. And it had nothing to do with like... I didn't want Todd to go to the Playboy Mansion, but that's something. No, I swear. I swear. I swear. That's just something that, like, you're going to have more fun with one of your friends. Well, unless you're this guy, and then we actually know that he's made the choice of, no, I'm actually going to have more fun with my girlfriend. It's his tickets. Of course it's his tickets. He can take whoever he wants. He can take his Grandpa Joe. Yeah. But I'll tell you what. There's an old English word for this. It comes down from old English. It's called P-whipped. And that's what this guy is. Oh, I thought you were going to say the other English word, envy. Or another one, jealousy. Or another one. No, not jealousy. He's mad. Yeah. Or another one, entitlement. He's pissed. He's hurt. He's hurt? I would be too. If my brother scored, if for some strange reason it ever happens again, which it probably won't. It probably won't. It probably won't. Notre Dame makes it to the Fiesta Bowl for the national championship.

1:28:18And my brother has two tickets, and he takes even his wife. If he takes my sister-in-law, who I love, Tessa, if he takes her, I'm going to be like, really? What are you freaking kidding me? Are you kidding me? What's your dad? What's your dad going to say? Because your dad thinks that he's got a right to it. My dad will be there already. And if he wanted to take my dad over me, fine. Yeah. If you want to take my dad over me, that'd be fine. Yes. You don't take some girl that's going to eat and not get it. Tessa gets it a little. She gets it as much as my wife, Jamie, gets it. But if I got World Series tickets, Jamie would probably put up a fight. But we are married. It's different. It won't change her life. It will change his life. Yeah, man. Bros, two bros, Packer fans in Dallas as a Super Bowl. Packer fans are hardcore. Hey, man, I say if the dude M1 pissed, I say he has every right to feel the way he wants to feel. I mean, you can't help the way you feel. He has a right. Yeah.

1:29:11He has a right. But what I would never advocate is that dude letting his brother know that. Yeah, he can't tell him. I think that's jacked up. He can't tell him how he's going to spend his money or his prize or his gift or whatever. And he also can't tell him, do you think, like, dude, what's up? That is messed up. You're taking her? He can say, though, passive aggressively. Absolutely. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. You ever just take your girlfriend to a guy event? Hey, you ever just pee whipped? Real good? Have fun. I'll watch it. I got a 27-inch here at home. I'll watch it there. It'll be cool. Hey, the Packers are in the Super Bowl. That happens every year. Have fun with your girlfriend. Yeah. I will. Oh, good. I'll stay with her next year. Yeah, I hope you guys stay together. There's nothing wrong with him taking his girlfriend if he didn't have a brother that he grew up with. Matt and his brothers are huge Steelers fans. And if he asked me, I would say to him, I'm not kidding. Did you ask either of your brothers? Did you ask your dad? Absolutely. And what if he said to you, now, if he wanted to go with them, I get it. I mean, if he wanted to, but if his deal is, listen, I actually want to go. I want, I want to go with you. I would say, babe, I would love to go. You are so sweet for asking me, but I think you should ask your brother. And I'd be like.

1:30:27What, you got some guy here you're going to mess around with? No. Just kidding. Oh, my God. What is the matter? What's the matter with your people? I was joking. You have to encourage. Don't you know a joke? Encourage male bonding, especially brotherly bonding. You don't like to do the guy stuff. You've said it before. You don't like the guys. You're more comfortable with girls. If I wanted to go with a guy, friend of mine, I would do that. But if I chose. To go with a girl because of that? Like, Woods just said it. And he's right. I'm way more comfortable around women than I am with men. And the reason that I am is because there isn't any preconceived... Expectations. Yeah, you don't have to be, hey, let's go to the strip club. You don't have to do that bit. And I don't have to be. I could just be me. I could just say whatever, however I feel and whatever I think. I mean, you guys, if you were going to Dallas, there's a Sir LaTob in Dallas. You guys would be perfect. You and your girlfriend go. You look at cooking stuff. You go over to Williams-Sonoma. This is why I love you. You check that out. This is why I do it. You check that out. See, there's an expectation on his part that I don't like Sir LaTob. Imagine M1 pissed being at home watching the Super Bowl and then the camera goes to his house.

1:31:40His brother with his girlfriend. And his brother's standing up cheering at the girlfriend. She's texting. She's texting. Sienna or worse, they're caught on the kiss cam during like a touchdown. Oh, gosh. I would slam my brother. You'd shoot through the roof. No matter what, his brother's going to be pissed the entire game. Oh, yeah. So he's not going to enjoy it. Oh, that's a bummer. Take your brother. Take your brother. Hey, listen. Listen. When we come back, we're going to be doing these Super Bowl dishes. I didn't bring my Super Bowl dish. Why is that, Mike? Did you forget it at home? I didn't even make it. What? You don't like us or what? Yeah. No. Don't want to be a team player? Just forgot about us? When we come back, there will be a trial. A big one. And the prosecution is me. I'll be the prosecuting attorney. Woods will be the defense attorney. Who is he defending? He's defending the perp. Is that it? I don't know. I don't know perp. Like, what's the... He's the perp. He's the defendant. He's the perp. He is the defendant. He's the defendant. You'll hear all about it next. I did? Yep. Well, at least it's the first time I've ever done that. Yes, that's true. Everybody's entitled to one. One. It's called a freebie. A freebie. Freebie.

1:33:45This is my favorite country song ever written. Miguel. Poncho and Lefty. Yeah, Willie and Merle. All right. Sienna, what's going on in news? Oh, wow. Forget it. You are a monster. I was about to put a piece of shrimp in my head. Oh, my gosh. Well, everybody brought in their food, their Super Bowl food, except for me. Wow. Yours is probably on the kitchen counter at home. I hate when I do that. No, Lauren, I didn't even prepare. Why not? I was going to make those little Vienna sausages with the red onion and the barbecue sauce. Well, that'd be really good. Yeah. Sienna, what's going on? Okay, well, the first iPad newspaper, The Daily.

1:34:47is about to debut. It's the first digital newspaper that's designed exclusively for Apple's iPad, Mikey. Chances are. Yeah, it was unveiled yesterday. Now, to have this The Daily, it's available for $40 a year from Apple's App Store, and The Daily gets content from reporters in New York, L.A., there's freelancers, and it produces up to 100 pages of news, sports, gossip, opinion, and entertainment coverage. Wow. Yeah. Sounds kind of cool. Also, the 500-year mystery of who had served as the model for Leonardo da Vinci in the Mona Lisa has been solved. Really? Yeah, there's a researcher. I already don't believe it. I know. I don't either. But there's a researcher. His name is Silvano Vincitti. And he's been doing this research for a long time. And now he says that the Mona Lisa is, in fact, a he. The model. I had a feeling. It was Da Vinci's long-term young male assistant. Creepy. That's creepy. His real name was Gian Giacomo Caprotti. Hello. He was... Gian, can you do me a favor? Could you put on the wig and sit here? I'm going to make a portrait. I'm thinking that you...

1:36:07Look perfect for the role. Yeah. Well, he's suggesting that they were, in fact, lovers, Da Vinci and this assistant who he called Salih. No, that's for sure. Yeah. So, Mona Lisa. A man. A dude. Manalisa. Manalisa. Manalisa. What's going on in sports? Well, UFC 126 is this weekend. The big fight of the night is Vitor Belfort against Anderson Silva for the title, I guess, right? They were asking Dana White. They said, you know, Vitor hasn't fought in a while. And he had some pretty strong words for fans that did not think he deserved a title shot. Cut to. I mean, for anybody to say that, let me tell you what, there's a lot of steam behind this fight for a guy who doesn't deserve a title shot. And if you look at the if you look stylistically at these guys, I think the thing that makes this fight so fun is either one of these guys can finish this fight at any moment. So, I mean, listen. If you don't think Vitor Belfort deserves a shot, I'm going to say what I always say. Don't watch the fight. Don't watch it. That's rad. You either have to be a complete jackass and not know about the sport, or you're just trying to say stupid shit. Oh, man. Watched about a seven-minute interview with Dana White this morning. Doesn't really...

1:37:27Mince words. Not really afraid to say what's on his mind. Yeah. And so that is this Saturday, UFC 126. And Bill Belichick has won the AP Coach of the Year. Tom Brady won the Offensive Player of the Year yesterday. Bill Belichick, it's his third time that he won it. 30 votes from 50 media members. So 30 out of 50. Congratulations, Bill. We're doing a Valentine's meet and greet for singles. And it's going to be happening a week from tomorrow. And it's happening at... Did I throw? Where is it? Oh, boy. East Village Tavern and Bowl next Friday, the 11th from 5 to 7. Happy hour prices apply. Couples can come. You don't have to be single. But if you are single, it's even better because you're going to get a bracelet to show other singles that you're available. That's cool. I said that with chili in my mouth. Yeah, there you go. All right, so. Who's chili? L.O.B. brought chili. It's turkey chili, right? It's delicious. It's so good. Makes my mouth water. Can I make you a plate, Mike? Yeah. I want you to try it. Yeah. Jay brought, what did you bring, Jay? Stuffed jalapenos. Oh, yeah. And he did it with turkey bacon. I was giving him a hard time, but he did it right. I don't know what you did to that bacon, but. I'm telling you. Better than how I do it. Woods brought shrimp cocktail. Delicious. It's all Super Bowl food. On steroids. They are the right temperature. They're just cool enough. And that extra hot sauce you threw in there, Woods. Brought two kinds of sauce for everybody. Yeah.

1:38:52And then what did you bring, Sienna? Artichoke, dude. It's delicious. It's great. Kind of like that there's not spinach in it. Okay, so I was supposed to bring those little hot dogs with the red onion and the barbecue sauce. They're slow cooked in a crock pot. And I didn't. Now, the reason that I didn't is because I was not reminded to by Janet. We're going. Are you ready? So you're presenting your case right now. Well, first I'm going to lay out the case and then we'll begin. Okay. I did not bring it because I did not receive an email from Jay, which every day I get an email from Jay. It's called the tomorrow email. Tomorrow on the show. All right. And the subject line is tomorrow.

1:39:55Tell me what I got to do. And he does every day. And he even sent me one yesterday. Sure did. He said, and I think yesterday one of the things I was supposed to remember to do was print out the email from my email that we got about the Super Bowl. Don't forget to print it out. Yeah, don't forget to print out the email. Which you didn't have in front of me. Which you didn't do. Yeah, on your computer. But that's not what the trial is about. Right, right. That's some evidence. We need to strike that from the evidence. No, I think we should allow it. But Jay, I'm trying to see. I can't find Jay's yesterday email. Do you have it, Woods? I have the one that he sent me. Yeah, I've got evidence here. Okay. So you just go ahead and present your case. I'm going to present the defense's case. And then I've got a couple witnesses I'd like to call as well. So if you would. I do too. Okay. I'm printing it for you, Mike. Okay. And we will allow. But isn't it different for each of us? It is. It is. But there is a body that remains ubiquitous for all of us. Yes. Which means the same throughout. Yes. Right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the case of Mikey forgetting his homework.

1:41:46Welcome to the case of Mikey not bringing in any Super Bowl food and looking like a complete jerk. In fact, Mikey is the only one that did not bring his homework in. Looking like a complete jerk. Okay, so I would... Who begins Woods, you say? Who begins? Who does begin? Prosecution or defense? I think the prosecution. Prosecution. All right. So I will – I have to stand up to be a prosecutor if you don't mind. Okay. My first witness – and I'm pacing, by the way. I can see that. That's what the lawyer does. He paces. My first witness that I will call will be Ms. Lauren O'Brien. Hello. I solemnly – You don't have to. I trust that you'll tell the truth here, Ms. O'Brien. Of course.

1:42:48Ms. O'Brien, can you state your age for the jury, please? Really? Yes. 30 years old, still single. Okay. Unmarried. Unmarried, unmarried. I file single in my taxes. Passive-aggressive minus passive. Objection. So, Ms. O'Brien, would you say that you distinguish between your personal life and your professional life? Yes, of course. You do. And that is to say that when you distinguish between your personal and professional life, that your professional life has everything to do with what happens at work and your personal life has everything to do with what happens at home. I would say that's a fair assessment, yes. Let's say that, Ms. O'Brien, you had a hard time remembering to set your alarm clock. Mm-hmm. And so you asked your boyfriend if he would set the alarm clock. Okay.

1:43:50Let's say that your boyfriend forgot to set the alarm clock and you were late to work. Would it then be your boyfriend's responsibility? Would he be the one at fault? Would he be guilty? No, he would not. Why would he not? Because I'm an adult and I have to be responsible for myself. That is a very good point, Ms. O'Brien. Now, let's say that... You were hired at a business and your job at the business was to set an alarm clock for your boss. Now, as meaningless a task as this may seem, because it is, I mean, after all, your boss is a grown adult. He should be able to remember to set his own alarm clock. Am I right, Ms. O'Brien? Right. I mean, any rational adult. should be capable of setting their own alarm clock, right? Yes. But let's say that your boss was a knucklehead and his deficiency is not remembering to set an alarm clock. So he hires you to remind him to set the alarm clock. Now, do you distinguish a difference between your private and personal life for the record one more time? Yes, I do. So if you were hired.

1:45:18For the one of your duties was to remind your boss to set an alarm clock. Would it then be your responsibility to remind him to set the alarm clock? It would if that was one of the tasks that we agreed upon. It would be my responsibility to remind him because it would be something so imperative that he wouldn't even be able to show up. I see. I see without it. I see. So if you failed to remind him to set the alarm. and you failed to set the alarm, would it then be your responsibility? Because that task was explicitly outlined for me in my job description, then yes. Thank you very much. I will now... I'd like to cross-examine if I could. Absolutely. Ms. O'Brien, this is what we call a tomorrow email. Yes, I've seen that. It was sent from... Can you read that name there? That says J. Isbell. And who is it to? Stephen Woods. Sienna Richards. Lauren O'Brien. Okay. Myself. Mr. Esparza, may I see that one? May you hand me that document, please? Document that's printing. Thank you. Is this Discovery? That's Discovery, yes. And then Exhibit B. Can I see Exhibit B, please? Absolutely. I'm going to use this as Discovery. No, no, no. Excuse me. What does that say? That's Exhibit B. That's mine. Mike. Who does that go to? Excuse me. Mike Esparza. Excuse me. These are carbon copies of one another. They're exactly the same? Miss O'Brien.

1:46:45How many items are listed on this email? There are 11 items. 11 items. So basically it's just an outline of what the show is, right? Things that we would like to get to for the day. Okay. Can you read number eight for me? Number eight. Clear as day. Super Bowl dish. Okay. Thank you very much. Ms. O'Brien, you're excused. Thank you. May I? Redirect? Yes. Oh, okay. Sure. Ms. O'Brien, I'm going to hand you my document. We're calling this document Exhibit B. Okay. And you will see that it is said tomorrow email. Who is that email from? This is also from Jay Isbell. And who is it addressed to? To Mike Esparza. I see. And can you read me what the homework assignment on the very top is? To print out the email about the Super Bowl. Okay. And can you also see that the show is also outlined there? Yes, 11 items that are identical to Exhibit A. I got it. And what is number eight? Number eight is Super Bowl dish. Okay. I would like to call as my next witness, Mr. Mikey. Mikey, can you please have a seat? Yeah, thank you. Thanks. You on drugs? Mr. Esparza, why is it that you did not bring in your dish today, your Super Bowl dish?

1:48:11Counsel, I did not bring my Super Bowl dish because I wasn't reminded. What do you mean you weren't reminded? I mean, after all, Exhibit B expressly says number eight, Super Bowl dish. I understand that, Counsel. But you see, I asked Jay to put my homework assignment just for me at the very top of the page because I'm a moron. I'm sorry, you're a moron? How does a moron... get to be a highly rated talk show host in a city the size of San Diego. God, sir, I understand that. But besides that, well, I have help. What do you mean you have help? Well, my producer, he writes at the very top of the page what my homework assignment is. I'm sorry. I told myself I wouldn't do this. It's OK. Take as much time as you need. You see, I'm so daffy that I've told my producer. that I need him to put whatever my homework assignment is at the top of the page. And what did he write? He wrote to print out the Super Bowl email. Is that all he wrote? Didn't he also write that you needed to bring in the Super Bowl food? No, he didn't.

1:49:34I see. Well, let me ask you this. Have you ever had a conversation with him where you've told him that he needs to expressly write at the top of the page what your duty is for the next day? Yes, I have. And is it there, Mr. Esparza? Leading the witness. Yeah, objection. Leading yourself. Yeah. That is all. I'd like to cross-examine Mr. Esparza if I could. Please do. Mr. Esparza, how old are you? I am 40 years old. I had to think about it. Sorry. Do you own a home? Yes, sir. Do you own cars? Yes, sir. Do you have children? Yes, sir. You do? How many children do you have? Three. How long have you been in radio? 23 years. 23 years. So would you consider yourself a professional? Absolutely. Mr. Esparza, what is the name of the show that you work on? It's the Mikey Show. And who is that named after? Me.

1:50:34You're Mikey? Yes, sir. Would it be fair to say that you care about the show that you work on? Yes, sir. Would it be fair to say you're in control? Yes, sir. Would it be fair to say that nothing gets past you? Yes, sir. Would it be fair to say that you are the final decision? Well, wait a minute. I have to re-answer that last question, and I hope I didn't perjure myself. I hope I didn't perjure myself. I answered incorrectly. You did? Yes. Okay. Things get past me all the time, sir. Okay. Would it be fair to say that when things get past you, you're not happy about it? Absolutely, sir. And the name of your show again is what? The Mikey Show. In the email that you have, is there or is there not an outline of the day? Absolutely. And wouldn't it be fair to say, Mr. Esparza, since it's your show. Uh-huh. You probably should take a look at that. No, sir. That's not fair to say. No, sir. Can I explain why? No need. Okay. May I cross-examine? You can't cross-examine yourself again. May I meet with co-counsel? Sure. Just one more question for Mr. Esparza. Sure. My colleague brings up a great point. Yes. Why is the schedule part of the email if you're not going to look at it at all? That is a great...

1:52:04Great question, counsel. You see, I've actually told my producer a million times that I don't want it on there because I don't read it. Not true. Mr. Isabel, I have a... I'd like to call a witness, too. Counsel. I'd like to call a witness. Counsel. I urge you to hear my testimony. I hear your testimony every Friday. Every Friday. It's very moving. It helps a lot of people. It's a totally different tunnel. No, it's not. It's a different kind of testimony. Mr. Isabel, in the interest of time, may I call to the stand Sienna Farrar. Yes. Sienna. Hi. How are you? I'm doing good. Thanks. How are you? I'm well. You handle a lot of stuff for The Mikey Show. Would that be fair to say? More than fair. You handle Mikey, in essence. Not handle him in that regard. I keep him organized. You keep him organized. Yes. Ms. Farrar, did you send out a text message this morning? I did. And at what time did you send that text message? 401. 401 in the AM. Yeah.

1:53:16What did that text message say? I sent it to not only Mike, but to Lauren Woods and Jay. It said, don't forget your Super Bowl dish. Smiley face. What did the response back from Mr. Esparza say? U-M-M-M-M. Code translation would be um. Yeah. Okay. I don't want to read between the lines here. What did the next message say? Well, let me just pull up my phone really quick so I can be really accurate. Exhibit C. All right. Let's see here. I can read you all of it. He said, with a sad face, and I said, you forgot, with like 10 exclamations, and he responded, I forgot. Read that again. I forgot. Who forgot? Mikey Esparza is the name on my phone. All right. It says, I forgot. And I responded to him, you're going back, exclamation. Mike! He said, he said, never even made it. Your text just sent a shockwave through me. So am I to believe that this dish was never even prepared? No, he didn't even think about it. Am I to believe that Mr. Esparza left the studio yesterday?

1:54:35After our meeting, we discussed in detail what was going to be brought. Exactly the plan. Did we or did we not, Ms. Farrar, talk about on the air yesterday what we were bringing. Yeah, and it was actually Mikey's idea to discuss it. Didn't you say, why are we talking about this today? I did. Why wouldn't we talk about this tomorrow? I did say that because I felt talking about our food for two days was a little strange. I agree. Co-counsel. Yes, ma'am. Just a moment. Mr. Esparza. Wait a minute. I get to cross-examine this. Oh, yeah, you do. Sienna, to the best of your knowledge, when does the prosecutor leave his house every morning? Well, I know he goes to Starbucks, and they open at 4.30, so he's usually there a few minutes after. And then from Starbucks, he comes here to the studio and arrives around 5.15 or so. So am I to believe? That Mr. Esparza, who, as we all know, gets up at 1.30 in the morning. Yeah. Am I to believe that he knew he wasn't bringing anything, didn't stop, didn't make any effort to reconcile for his team? To his defense, he is a man of routine. And when his routine is thrown off, it can affect the show. Ms. Farrar, do you know who else was a man of routine? Who? Ted Bundy was a man of routine. Okay. Good point. Okay.

1:56:05You're redirected. I get to cross-examine the ones. Ms. Farrar. It's Mrs. Farrar. Would you be willing to stay here in the courtroom while we take a quick time out? And then when we come back, allow you to be cross-examined by the prosecutor? More than happy to wait. Oh, we'll be back. Welcome back to the Super Bowl dish courtroom. If you're just tuning in. M1s are going to be the jury. The deal is that everybody was asked to bring in a dish today. How long would you say we had for notice? Probably two weeks. How many times did we talk about it, do you think? Probably a dozen. A dozen, yeah. Probably a dozen. Who decided what day to bring it in? I did. Okay. And I did not. Now, I state that the reason that I did not is because...

1:57:20It was not written on my homework to bring in. So in essence, it's not your fault. Well, no, that isn't true either. Because the truth is, I did forget. I am guilty of the crime of forgetting. Am I allowed to ask a question of you or does it need to be directed to the council? You can ask a question. Did you have the ingredients? No. No. So you didn't plan ahead to have it on your calendar? In fact, I would not have even bought the ingredients until I got the reminder. And I would have had to go get them. That's the way I roll. I get to cross-examine Sienna. Hello. Hi, Sienna. Let me ask you a question. Okay. Would you say that Mr. Esparza, my client, is forgetful?

1:58:19I would definitely say he's forgetful. Would you say that there are times where he experiences disorganization? Of course. Yeah. Would you ever recall a time where perhaps even within a few moments he would forget something? Numerous times a morning. Every morning. Every morning. Every morning. Yeah. Would you say that Mr. Esparza would need help in that area in order to remember things? Well, that's, you know. Part of my big job is keeping him on track. So is it your responsibility to make sure that he knows what he's doing the next day? The next day? The next day. I don't know what you mean. During the show, yes. During the show, yes. But is it your responsibility to let him know what his homework assignment is for the next day? No. That is not your responsibility. Who's responsibility? Is it Woods' responsibility? No. Is it Chris? The phone screener. No. Otherwise known as Cross. No. Is it Cross's responsibility? It's not Cross's. Is it the young blonde woman that likes black guys, Lauren O'Brien? Is it her responsibility? No, she does podcasts. Nice beaver. All right. It seemed out of order. Just a little objectionable, but we'll sustain that. We'll let it slide.

1:59:44The man that gives us our homework is always our producer, Jay. Our producer, Jay. Yeah. Now, how old is Jay? He's 47. I see. Is it true that he knew Moses? I don't know about Moses. Objection. Sustained. Speculation. Speculation. Sustained. No, it's true. It's true. Maybe Noah. Mr. Isbell, keep your mouth shut. So you're saying that is Jay's responsibility? He gives us all of our homework every day. I see. Okay. I would like to, I only have two more witnesses to call. I would like to recall a witness if I could. Sure. I'd like to recall. If I get to recall a witness, you get to recall. Absolutely. Okay. I would like to recall Mr. Michael Esparza to the stand. Yes, I'm here. Oh, please. Wow. Just kidding. Mr. Esparza. Yes. You're a religious man. Yes, sir. Oh, boy. Actually, no, sir. I'm not. I'm not.

2:00:46Christian. You're a Christian? Yes. You read the Bible? Yes. You love the Bible? Yes. Mr. Esparza, is there a section? He's about to get me. Is there a section? In what chapter of the Bible does it talk about forgiveness? It definitely talks about forgiveness in various places, I would say. Specifics. I believe it talks about forgiveness in Matthew chapter 7. That. Is impressive. The Bible is a big book. Yes, sir. There's a lot of words. Yes, sir. How many chapters in the Bible? There are 66. 66 chapters? There are 66. No, no, no. Actually, there are 66 books in the Bible. Books in the Bible. Yes. Wow. That is a big book with a lot of books. Yes. Inside. Yes. And you're able to recall an exact verse where it talks about forgiveness? It was Matthew chapter 7. Chapter 7. That's impressive. Thank you. That is impressive. Thank you. Would it be safe to say, Mr. Esparza, that you want to remember the things that you want to remember? Objection, leading the witness. Objection, speculation. Would it be safe to say? Objection, speculation. Fine. Sustained. Mr. Esparza, who dresses you in the morning? I do. How do you get to work? I drive a car. How do you get here?

2:02:16Get on the road and I drive. And you know the exact way to get here every morning? Yes, sir. You do? I'm a product of routine. Product of routine. Nobody helps you get here. No GPS? No, sir. Does Jay tell you how to get here? No, sir. Does Jay tell you what to wear? No, sir. You handle that all on your own? Yes, sir. Fair to say that this is a very important part of your life, this show. Absolutely. Fair to say that you want it to be good. You don't want it to be good, Mr. Sparza. You want it to be the best. The best in the nation, sir. The best in the world. Yes, sir. That is true. Do you want to be number two? No, sir. What do you want to be? Number two to me is losing. What do you want to be? I might as well be last if it's number two. Okay. What do you want to be? Number one. Number one. How do you get to number one? You've been number one before. I've books about it. I read about it incessantly. I'm practically a freak about it. How do you get to be number one? You train yourself rigorously. You are a product of discipline. Okay. I would like to redirect to Mr. Esparza. Mr. Esparza, Mr. Woods brings up the Bible. That is an interesting fact. Let me ask you a question. And just so everyone knows, we are going through the trial right now of, is Jay guilty or is Mikey guilty of forgetting to bring the Super Bowl food? You M1s will be the judge and jury.

2:03:46So, Mr. Esparza, since you stated earlier that your religious aspects – no, it's not religious. It's Christian. Christian. Since you say that your Christian aspects of your personality, would you say that one of the aspects of that personality is that you're honest? Yes, sir. Would you characterize yourself as an honest person? Yes, I would. Would you characterize yourself as an intermittent liar? No, sir, I would not. Would you characterize yourself as the type of person that selectively remembers and selectively forgets? No, I would not, sir. That is not who I am. Is it true that Ms. Sienna did in fact write you a text this morning asking if you were bringing in the food? Yes, sir. What did you say? I said that I forgot. Did you forget? Yes, sir. So, you get up at 1.30 in the morning and you didn't even remember during any of that time getting up, going through your routine, never remembered at once? No, sir. I did not. And the day before, as was pointed out by the young blonde counsel that likes black guys, did you even buy the ingredients? No, sir.

2:05:15Let me ask you a question, Mr. Esparza. Had you received a homework assignment that told you that you needed to bring in Super Bowl food, would you have gone to buy the ingredients? Yes, sir, I would have. Would you have come home and made the dish? Yes, I would. Would your wife make it? Perhaps. Mr. Esparza, would you characterize yourself as practically a dumbo? When it comes to remembering things, Mr. Esparza. Yes, I would. You're a nerd. You are. Mr. Esparza, would you say that you have a hard time with remembering things? Mr. Esparza. Oh, my God. Badgering the witness. Badgering yourself. Yes. And Mr. Esparza, is that why you have a producer to help you to remember these things?

2:06:18Crazy. Yes. Producer just played that. Mr. Esparza, would you say that some may even find this ridiculous thing about you crazy? Yes. What of the Bible verses, Mr. Esparza? I mean, after all, the defense attorney did bring up a good point. You can't remember your A from a hole in the ground. However, when it comes to remembering certain Bible passages, they seem to just... flow right out of your mind. So what of that, Mr. Esparza? Well, you see, that's not me doing that. I rest my case. Mr. Esparza, I have a question for the room. Go ahead. Sienna. Yeah. You got your tomorrow email yesterday, correct? I did, yeah. Was there a reminder on there to bring the Super Bowl food? No. Thank you. Ms. O'Brien, you got a tomorrow email.

2:07:21Was there a reminder on yours to bring the Super Bowl food? There was not. Okay. Mr. Esparza, as the leader of the Mikey Show, if one of your other cast members had forgotten to bring the food today, their food, their assigned food, would you have been upset with them? Objection irrelevant. I'll allow it. Objection denied. I have to answer? Mr. Esparza. Yes. Let me repeat the question. If one of your other cast members, for example, Woods, had forgotten to bring shrimp cocktail for the Super Bowl party that had been discussed for two weeks that was there and it was clear in the email under number eight, if Mr. Woods, who has a lot going on in his life, had forgotten. Objection badgering the witness. Objection denied. Do I get to say that I have twins and autistic sons? Mr. Esparza, would you have been mad at Mr. Woods if he had forgotten? Or would you have taken the side? Would you have said Mr. Woods? Didn't know because it wasn't in his tomorrow email, but it was right there in plain sight. Would you have been mad? Yes or no? Yes or no? The attorney has asked eight questions. I'm not sure which one to answer. The question is, would you have been mad at Mr. Woods if he forgot?

2:08:47No. I would have been furious. Rest my case. My client, Mr. Isbell, is innocent. He is innocent, and he should be cut free, and he should be exonerated. 5701949. Oh, boy. You will cast your lot for either Jay or Mikey. Can I suggest something? Don't you dare. No, no, no. I'm not saying anything to hurt anyone. I thought you were going to be like, the loser has. I want our phone screener, Chris, to answer 10 phone calls, not put them on the line so Mikey can see them, but take a tally so we know. Well, why don't we just do those? We'll just do it. Right down the line. Right down the line. Right down the line. Even better. How many? Seven? Best of seven? Best out of seven.

2:09:46It's the World Series here. This is the World Series. I'll come down to this. Now, be fair. Don't even write, just write their name, but don't put who they're. You should just do it. I will tally the deciding vote. Yes. I'm sweating. Yeah. I'm sweating. My hands are sweating. I see both of your sides. Absolutely. I do. I see both sides. Absolutely. You know, it's all about. Mike is forgetful. Funny, I didn't get to say a word. Oh. You didn't need to. Okay. You know why? You had the hottest young defense attorney in town. Oh, I would love to. And the fattest. I would love to cross-examine the defendant. Afterwards, I can give my post-snopsis. Nobody wants to take a walk in. The best out of seven. I'm nervous. I am, too. I feel like I feel when I watch those crime shows and they build the case through the whole show. Oh, they do it. And then at the very end. You know, this jury didn't even deliberate very long. They're already back with a verdict. They have a verdict. They have a verdict already. In the defendant's case, that's either a really good thing or the worst thing that can happen. There's no middle ground. I say get a rope. Me too. That's what I say too. You zip your lip for the last time. Can I please get him on the stand? Let me have it. Nope. All right. Best out of seven. Here we go.

2:11:15M1 Josh from San Diego, who do you vote for? Who is guilty? Who's guilty? Why? Who do you side with? Hang up. You're supposed to either side with me or Jay. Who's right? Who's wrong? He doesn't know. Get rid of them. G-I-T. Josh. We ruined the moment. That's how you spell Josh. G-I-T. M1 Junior from Carlsbad. Me or Jay? I'm on Jay's side. Woo! Jay gets the point. Don't need a long explanation. M1 Josh 2 from Spring Valley. He is innocent. M1 Jimmy from San Diego. Mikey. Jimmy. You're my boy, Jimmy. Jay only needs one more. Oh, boy. M1 Diego from San Diego. Free Jay. Free Jay. Free my Willie. And the jury has spoken. Unanimous. It wasn't a hung jury, dude. It was unanimous. I'm going to jail.

2:12:40As an innocent man. I will appeal this. Take it up with the appeals court. I will take it all the way to this F.A. I have a feeling for the duration of this Mikey Show cast, we will hear it. We're going to a strip club. I thought you didn't like strip clubs. I don't. He does. What, Lauren? Which part? I don't know. Oh, I said it. I said for the duration of this Mikey Show cast, we will hear about this day. You will be appealing this case. It's going to live in infamy. It will live in infamy. One of us will slip up at one point and then say, Mike, remember that time you didn't bring your Super Bowl food? There's one person out there in Radioland that I would love to hear her opinion of this. Me too. There's one gal that I'd love to hear whose side she was on.

2:13:39Well, she knows me. Rebecca. And she knows. Yeah, she knows. I have to have the reminder. You think she'd be on your side? Yeah. She knows that I can't remember my butt from a hole in the ground unless it's put there. It was here. You can see it. It's right there. Number eight, it's there. It's been highlighted. Bro, I have told him. It doesn't matter. It's over. It's over. Here's the thing. He won. He won. Mike is very forgetful. Jay. Should have remembered that Mike is very forgetful. So forgetful that I need to remind him to turn on a microphone sometimes. Now, it is Jay's job to remind him of these things. He did put it on the email, but he didn't do so in a way that Mike is used to or has asked. And I've asked him. I told him. I said, dude, I don't need that. And he goes, well, I'll put it anyway. Apparently you do. I think that maybe Jay thought we already had our plan of attack. I put on things that we discuss earlier in the week. I always do that. But since we just talked about it and you had elaborated on what we were doing, that's why I put it on there. I have a question. If all we need is that thing that lists all the things we're doing the next day, which I've said that I don't want. If that's all we need, why do you put my homework assignments? Because of you. Because of you. Because of me.

2:15:07Go ahead. Keep going. Because we've talked about it earlier in the week, and I know that I can break it down for you and give you an easy synopsis at the top. But I expect, and the reason I put it on there. It's not an easy synopsis. It's what I have to do the next day. It's because Mike needs it or else it won't be that. It's what I'm doing the next day. Cooking food is different than writing a bit about Hoyle or something like that. Because he assumed that you already had little tiny Vienna sausages already waiting. Since you had so much input on the food discussion. Right. I mean, there's a bunch of things I don't remind you about that you do on a daily basis. Never. Never. Now, if you're talking about taking a shower, yes, you don't remind me to take a shower. Mike remembers the things that are embedded in his mind from a long time ago and the things that are routine. He doesn't remember anything that was brought up recently. No. In fact, sometimes we'll go through emails that we get from listeners, right? Yes. And we'll talk about them. We'll go, hey, we got this email from this girl. She caught her 15-year-old smoking pot. What do we think about this? We'll talk about it with me. They go, yeah, we like it. And then I'll get – it'll be on the schedule. It'll say email 15-year-old smoking pot, and I'll go like this. You guys, what is that? Not sometimes. Almost every time. Here's the reason that I give you the whole schedule, not just your homework, is because as my boss, I want you to go through the show and make sure that it –

2:16:28It contains everything that we need to contain to make a great day. So that's why I provided to you. True or false? True or false? False. I have a question. I'm already telling you. It's false. Okay. I have the opportunity to ask. Have I ever said, hey, Jay, I got to know what my homework is? Yeah, I got to know what my homework is. I got to know what my homework is. You got to write me my homework. You say, hey, Jay, I got to have my tomorrow email. Yes. Yeah, I got to know what my homework is. Semantics. Yeah. And so write me whatever my homework is or I'll forget. But I don't look at as cooking the food as your homework. But Mike knows as my job is that I will make sure with and I will discuss with Jay that the schedule is complete for the next day. That's my job. But sometimes you and I don't know. I just want everybody on the show to have an opportunity to peruse the whole show. A lot of times I'll write you back and say, hey, dude, you got that on there twice. Hey, dude, you got this, you know. I mean, I'm not. I'm not foolproof. I'm not 100% all the time for sure. And any help that I can get from the rest of the show members, greatly appreciate it. We're a collective. Yeah, we're a collective. And that's why I go to my immediate supervisor and go, can you please peruse this? It is called the Mikey Show. It is called the Mikey Show. It's not called the J Show. I don't want to. Maybe for the rest of today it is. I trust. I have people working around me so talented that I don't need to peruse that thing. You know why?

2:17:52Because you guys are so good. I need your welcome experience. 23 years. Also to Mikey's defense, he's reached a place where there are things he doesn't need to do anymore. Mrs. Farrar, you were all on board with Jake Isbell this morning. You were all the way on board. I am still, but I have... I don't want anyone's feelings to be hurt. Did you or did you not write? So I'm trying to help Mike. Did you or did you not write? Do not blame Jay. I said that word for word to Mikey. Word for word. Via text and on the phone. When I filled in for Sienna, I had to send a schedule to you every night to be approved. Because. Well, that was because you weren't used to doing it. I don't have to do that. She didn't have to do that because she knows she's been doing it for. She's an old salty veteran. But you wanted to see what was on the schedule and what time things were. Yeah, because she's an old salty veteran. I can read his mind. That's a gift. That's the truth. Now, I will wrap it up by just saying one thing. Had my tomorrow email said, bring little weenies. You did. You did. Oh, wow. Design a scene. Are you ready? I'm ready. Well, you think about it. I'll do mine.

2:19:38You think about it? I'll do mine. You want to go to Exwoods? That's fine. The scene is a woman. It's a gold digger. Young woman. Beautiful. She's about 29 years old. She's a gold digger. I think I need to give you the plot before I play the music. I don't know this song. I can either feel it or I don't. Okay, if you don't feel it, you don't have to. Okay. I'm going to give you the plot first. A 29-year-old woman. She's a gold digger. Ain't messing with no broke. Broke, broke. Sorry. Way to ruin the moment. She's a gold digger. She's done it before. I love you. She's done it before. When the guys die, she collects the dough. And so she meets this guy, and he's way older than her. And she meets him, and can't wait for this guy to die. She finds out that he is terminal.

2:20:49Wow. She can't wait for him to die. And she meets his daughter. And they become friends. And she starts to fall in love with the guy. And he dies. And the shot is her in this giant house overlooking the ocean. Inside the house. And it's raining. And she's looking out at the ocean. And he's gone. And the camera is outside of the window. And just starts to back up. So it's panning out. And you can see in her face, she would give all that money back just to have this old dude that she fell in love with. You like it? I like it. You like it? Yep. Now I want to make that movie. You should. Do it. You want me to start it? Yeah. Summer vacation is over. Guy has been staying with his grandparents for summer vacation. And he met a girl.

2:22:09He's got to go back to where he's from. They had an amazing summer. Made love in the meadows. Did you just watch the movie Summer Catch? No. I've never seen it. They fell in love. It was their first love. He is in the car with his grandparents. They're driving him back to Ohio. He's 17. And he's looking out the back window. And she's standing there. watching him drive away, probably for the last time. From the house? From her house. And one tear rolls down her face. I like it. You look like a Mandy Moore movie. That's when it was Summer Catch, Jessica Biel. Did that happen? No. And Freddie Prinze Jr. who played baseball. He was in the Cape Cod League. You did it! I can't believe you would.

2:23:11It's about baseball. And Jessica feels it. It's the stupidest shit. Nice butt. You got one, L.O.B.? No. I don't feel it. Oh, God. I feel that. You can put that to 100. I got one. You got one? Oh, boy. So it shows these two. They're on horseback. And they're racing and running as a guy and a girl. And then it shows slowly. They slow down. The horse is just going to slow down. They're walking through the woods. They get off by the stream. They can't take him seriously? And then they make love right by the stream. I knew that was coming. Where are the horses? And that's it. That's the plot. They make love by the stream. That's the way mine are going to end from now on. I meant the horses. Make love. Yeah, I thought you guys knew what I was talking about. That's so gross.

2:24:25Oh, my God. That was Lauren O'Brien. Of course. Of course it was. Who else would it be? What do you mean? Yeah, sign me up for that. She is SNL funny. What? A thousand. Gosh darn it. We're going to lose her one day. She's going to be in New York, and she's going to be like, hi, I'm Lauren O'Brien. And they're going to go like this. They're going to go, so you used to be on the mic. She's like, I don't like to talk about that. I don't like that. It was a stepping stone. It was a stepping stone. I did it for like. Three years, but we'll be like, we knew her. We knew her. We knew her. Yeah, remember when we knew her? I did it three years. I did it three years. Do you still keep it? No. No. Are we talking about my movie? Can we move on to my movie? She's going to come in. Lauren will always like us. Yes. She's going to come in for a comedy show, like a big comedy show. Yeah, we'll be like, hey, can we score tickets? She's going to be like, oh, who's this? Please. No, this is what was going to happen. I'm going to call her until I get tickets to her show. Straight to voicemail. Hi, this is Lauren. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Beep. Hey, Lauren, it's Mikey. This mailbox is full. Stop it. Gosh darn it. You killed me yesterday, too. She's got me so good every day this week. And she's made me laugh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. She says stuff sometimes, and I'm like, I don't want to laugh at that.

2:25:51But it's funny. When I broke the FCC. Yes. Lauren got dumped yesterday. Oopsie. Just the dump button. Right. No, he dumped her last. No, no. That was in April. I guess. Get. You know, don't tell a kid. You're not the kid. Yes, I am. You SOB. I'm the kid. Somebody on Facebook, Hoyle, last night wrote me and said, stop stealing Hoyle's bits. I said that dried up old hack steals my bits. I was a kid before you were. No, you weren't. I was a kid back in Mobile. You were a kid, but you weren't the kid. I was a kid. I'm the kid. And then suddenly I come here and, oh, look who's using it on the air. Oh, please. So you know what's going on in news. You're a clown. Are you guys a fan of the White Stripes? Yes. Who's not? Well, after a three-year hiatus, they're calling quits. That's too bad. How long ago did they...

2:26:52stop as a couple? Because it's two people in the band, Jack White. Jack and Meg White. It's been a couple years now. I want to say like three years. He's remarried, I believe. Is he really? He married us. This should be good. So his wife was like, yeah, I know. No. King Tut. Jim Carrey. No, it's some eclectic person. Weird. I'm looking. I don't see it. It's on here. I don't know who he married. Yeah, his new wife is going to be like, you're not touring with her. Wait, I know. He dated. Renee Zellweger. Yes, he did. That's what I was thinking. All right. So you know how they have all the different years of the animal in Asia? Mm-hmm. Today is the year of the rabbit. Starts the year of the rabbit? Yes, starts the year of the rabbit. Just to let you know. And Lindsay Lohan is in more trouble again. We should do. Well, a shop owner in Venice has recently filed a police report saying that Lindsay stole a necklace from her store worth $2,500. Now, a search warrant has been requested to search her house. Here's the bad thing. She's been photographed, and there's video of her wearing the jewelry she's accused of stealing. Now, here's the thing, and her dad, Weird, has come out and...

2:28:06commented on this. Now, as a celebrity, a lot of times jewelry stores and clothing stores give you their items to wear so that you are photographed in them, which is what Lindsay's dad is saying has happened. They gave her the necklace, you know, and it would be returned later, but now they're pushing, you know, pressing charges against her saying, she stole it. She hasn't returned it, so she stole it. They're trying to get pressed. You think maybe they are? Maybe. I don't know. They're beating a dead horse. Yeah. Kicking somebody when they're down. That's what I meant to say. Well, Lindsay is, I mean, it's all over the news. It's just, you know, more trouble for her. It's like kicking a dead fish, you know? Yeah. She and her dad talk now. Since she was in rehab, he went and apparently made peace. He even said, although I don't really like commenting on my daughter, don't you? Isn't that your whole bit? Yeah. There's nothing else to do. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, this is a very interesting story. You may or may not remember when Ben Roethlisberger got in a lot of trouble months back. Terry Bradshaw came out and Terry. Won four rings with the Steelers and kind of... He's a legend. He's a legend. And he came out and has never really been a big supporter of Ben Roethlisberger. Ben Roethlisberger wrecked his motorcycle, got hurt. Terry told him, stay off the bike, okay? Use your head. Then when all the allegations came, he said, stay out of the bars. I never went to bars when I was a Steelers quarterback. I was winning Super Bowls. Use your head. Big Ben didn't like that. Didn't take too kindly to it. Well, I don't either. What?

2:29:29Being told what to do? Maybe you keep your eyes on your own paper. He's kind of paid for that. He doesn't have to say it. He's kind of paid to do that. Okay, I see what you're saying. He's paid to have a take. Well, these two who don't like each other met in the bowels of Jerry World and had an interview, kind of had it out a little bit. Here's what Terry Bradshaw had to say after the interview. Cut three. You know, yesterday is yesterday, and I got his back, and I support him 100%. But if he screws up, I'm going to say it. I'm not shy about telling you how I feel, and I let him know that. But I said, I got your back. So a little peace has been made between those two. I wonder when we see that interview. I don't know. I want to see it, though. I want to see it. I want to know. It's probably Super Bowl Sunday, my friend. would be my guess on the pregame. And then yesterday was National Signing Day for college football, and I'm going to give you the top five schools. Florida State, out of nowhere, came back with 29 total commitments. Alabama, we were No. 2. Florida State was No. 1? Yeah. They've been a non-issue in college football the last few. Why do you think that's the deal? I think a new coach and...

2:30:41I don't know. It's cyclical a lot of times. It's cyclical, and it's come back around. Good players that want to play there, they want to play for the Seminoles, who used to be great, are now going back. They've got a new program there. They're No. 1, Alabama No. 2, University of Texas No. 3, LSU No. 4, and Auburn No. 5. That's kind of strange. Why Auburn wouldn't be No. 1 then, the No. 1 team in the country. Absolutely. That's strange. It's been a lot of fun. It's been a fun week. I love you guys. Yeah, it has been. The music playing that's doing this. I really love you. I told you guys I loved you the other day. You should do. Nobody said it back. I said I love you, too. You wrote me back and said I love you. I tell you every day. I said it. You said it. I tell you every day in text and in email. You do. We're weird. I love you, LLB. I love you, LLB. I love you, Chris. I love you, too. Tell Matt Commerce I love him, too. Weird. Let me tell him. Weird.

2:31:58Why do you want me to tell my boyfriend that you love him? Because he's a good dude. I just wanted you to tell him. That's horrible. So wrong with that. Can't wait to see him tomorrow night. He will maybe not be there. Perfect. Why? Why won't he be there? He's got a gig. Oh, where is it? I don't know. You think it gets out in time that maybe he can come by? He's going to be there at 830 if we're all still there. Oh, yeah. I mean... You know, if the commerce is going to come by, I'll stick around. The commerce. The commerce. I mean, I'm just saying, you know. We don't want him to get too big time on us. That's true. Don't worry. I'll take care of you. We're going to be getting, I don't know, get the six mistakes guys make on Valentine's Day in a second. Wanted to let people know that I do a podcast that. Doesn't have anything to do with the Mikey show. It's a separate thing that I do. And I just started doing it. And it's like a solo project. And it's on iTunes. What are you laughing at? Because when you said solo project, I could do it. You tickled it. I thought. I don't know why. It's a solo project. I fart. Yeah. Yeah. That's.

2:33:41That's why I didn't say it out loud. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. Right over my head. It's a solo project. That's why I was trying to stifle my lap. Just ignore me. Ignore me. Okay. If you want to listen to it, you can go to iTunes and search VOM. That's what it's called, VOM. And then in the podcast section, it should be the first one that comes up. It says VOM, Mike Esparza, Christianity. And the reason that it's labeled under that is because I talk about pop culture and stuff like that. But I'm able to do that side of my personality that I don't really do here on the air in full force. So you're not starting your own show? No, I am not. I can fire us all. Great. Look at you. Just the Mike show. Should we get together and do our own? The Mikey. What if you saw on there Woods, Sienna, L.O.B., and Jay's podcast? You'd be like, oh, my God, again. Wow, Woods. I have no fear anymore. That's a really good idea. It wouldn't happen. It wouldn't happen. You're spitting about it. Don't think about it, Mike. It wouldn't happen. He knows we're kidding. It's almost Valentine's Day. You want to hear that? It would require us to hang out outside of work, and that would not happen. That ain't happening. Yeah, it's true. That ain't happening.

2:35:05Do you think Sienna's going to come all the way to the kids' house to do our private podcast? Do you think LLB's going to take time off to come out there? It'll be the Jane Woods show. It'd be the Woods. It'd be the Juds. It'd be way. Woods called while I was recording the podcast yesterday. Oh, no. Did you think that? Yes. I'm on there. You nerd. Did you know he was going to be on there? No. Just can't get enough of each other. That's how it used to be. You didn't. That's how it used to be. You didn't remind him about his Super Bowl dish or it never came up? I think I said I'm on my way to go get shrimp. Is that when you guys discussed that you're both going to wear green shirts today? Yes. You ever just get roasted up? Just be in a way, a guy to gats a guy. Gee, you wee. I'm not sure why that fit in there. That's what I was saying. Don't forget, Valentine's Day is only 11 days away. Hey, it's Uncle Victor, and I want you to buy me a treat for Valentine's Day. I married your sister, Melinda. I bought her a book about France, because she said something about France one time. I let her yell at me one time at the mall. Hey, why don't you buy me a treat? You never...

2:36:39I never had you buy me anything once. I got you a service repair from my friend. Buy me a treat on Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite things in the world. Uncle Victor, as you can see, makes his own commercial. They end very abruptly. He's like, I'm done. I'm out. Uncle Victor doesn't really script his commercials. He just kind of wings them. Yeah, it's just sort of, you know. Off the top of his head. Sure. That's Uncle Victor for his product. Buy me a treat. Melinda. Melinda. I want a buy me a treat product. Yeah. Buy me a treat. Be great. You know what would be good right now? Big old thing of Rice Krispie Treats. Oh, mamacita. Nothing in them. I don't want no fruity pebbles in there. No. No chocolate chips. Chocolate chips? Yeah. Ew, I've never had chocolate chips. Stop.

2:37:41Stop with the trying to foof up everything. Rice Krispie marshmallow. That's it. Butter. A stick of butter goes in those. Real butter. Maybe a little more if you get it. There's a stick and a half. It won't hurt you. It won't hurt you. It won't hurt you. Please, Sonny, make those. Will somebody make those? Will somebody make us some Rice Krispies? I'm going to vote on Sienna so that they're not organic. But I love you. I will maybe make them for Valentine's Day. Thank you. Maybe I'll even put them in hearts. Don't. No. Just. Straight squares. Don't trick them up. Don't trick. No trick. All right, all right. In the pan. I won't make them. No, make them. No, I'm not making them now. What about a heart pan? I said I was going to make them normal and just put them in a shape of heart. No, no, no. Just the shape. About squares. Just normal squares. Don't crack him. Stop tricking everything up. How about Mike makes them since he didn't make some full dish? Yeah. I'd like to make them and bring them tomorrow. M1 Veronica. I'll put it in your homework. M1 Veronica, if you're listening. Will you make some Rice Krispie Treats? Please. Do you know why I'm asking her? She's the greatest baker in the world. That girl can bake. She bakes her butt off. It's basically milk and marshmallows. We're using a... It's not milk. It's not milk. Marshmallows. Rice Krispie Treats, a bag of marshmallows, and a stick of butter. And you stir it, and then you grab them in little pieces.

2:38:59I'm using a multi-million dollar radio station right now to talk to one person, and her name is Veronica. And to beg for her to make us something. And to take tomorrow off work and come in. You guys like them chewy? Yes. Chewy, not hard. Not hard. If you drop them off, we'll do something in return. No, I'm going to drop them. Oh, because she has to work? Yeah, well, if she has to go to work, we'll have to do something in return. We'll do something in return. I'll dance a jig without my shirt on, dude. I swear. Nobody wants to see that. We want her to bring them. What if she... Calls in sick. I don't condone it. What if she calls in sick? I don't condone that. What if she's really under the weather? What if she's not feeling good? What if what she means by sick is like the urban slang term? Sick. Sick. That's not lying. Technically, I'm not lying. I am sick. She'd be like, yeah, I'm sick. She could drop him off early on her way to work, though, because we're here. Early. True story. I need him. I mean, I'll run out at 4 a.m. And you know what the deal is? You know what? The thing is so strange about it is that. All of us have bought them at a cash register, but they're never, never as good as when you make them. I think they use like cardboard marshmallows. They're so gross. I don't like the ones that are packaged like in the box in the grocery store. They're not good. Those aren't good. I don't even think they use real butter. They use like oil. They probably do. How dare them. They probably do. For preservatives and whatnot. Because it's easier, cheaper, whatever. Stupid.

2:40:27It's way better to make them at home. And I've never done that. Oh, I have. You've never done it? I've tried it and it ain't easy. What? It's a nightmare cleaning the pot after, though. That sucks. Oh, I bet. Okay, so Sienna, tell me the six mistakes that guys make on Valentine's Day. All right. Now, I think I agree with this list. All right. Number one, buying a regular... Jay, you guys are going to be like, oh, really? What's good enough for you guys? But just buying a regular Valentine's card, like from Hallmark or from anywhere. Oh, really? What's good enough for you guys? See, I'm trying to help. Unbelievable. I didn't make up this list, but I agree with it. What they're saying to do is if you just sat down for 10 minutes and you wrote a nice little heartfelt love letter on February 14th, Valentine's Day. I'm all in on that. Save me money for a car. That's right. And you say something like, if you still could choose anyone all over again, you wouldn't change your mind. You want that person. Can't I say that? Why don't I have to put that in a car? Question. No, just write it on a piece of paper.

2:41:33So she can look back at it. When I buy that nice card from Albertson, I write a nice long message. And I used to yell at my wife because she would write, love you, Jamie. And I would have this long thing. I'm a card writer. If you give a card, I do not think it's acceptable to sign your name. No. It is not acceptable. And I love Jamie. Jamie, you got to put something in there. Oh, now she does. Now she does. You got it. Because I... peed and moaned about it for years. She's like, sorry, I married an English major. She's very sorry. You know, there's probably really nothing better than forced love. Yeah. But, like, when you sit down and you say something that's not just, I love you so much, blah, blah, blah. If it's something, like, just so heartfelt and the girl's not expecting it. I think you would laugh. You would laugh. Hell no. Sienna would laugh. No. She's not romantic like that. Dude, I. No, Todd, do it.

2:42:35No, he does. He's good with cards. But I save all of them. They're meaningful. Okay. I like the... Todd just gave the radio the finger. To me? He's not listening right now. I like a paper that's not even a card. Yeah. Yeah. Oftentimes I like to peel bark from a tree and inscribe a note on that. Or you can soak some paper in some tea to give it that old antique look and then burn the edges so it looks like a treasure map. Yeah, I see that that's a shot at me. I get it. No, I didn't mean that. Here's what I like to do. No. Oh. Haven't I? Here's what I like to do. Maybe we just get Angel's Wings and we have it stenciled on the back of those Angel's Wings. Would that be enough? Why are you being dramatic? I don't want Angel's Wings. M1 Veronica's on the line. Hi. I think M1HB first sitting with Tess going, are you listening? Were you listening when we were talking about it? Why do you hate us? Why do you hate us? Maybe you listen to us. Why aren't you listening to us? I'm not listening to you guys now. So tomorrow, I can't.

2:43:45Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Hurts atmosphere. Hurts atmosphere. Hey, here's the butt. I'll bring him to the meet and greet. Okay, I'll take that. Great, so everybody gets one. Then we'll have to share. Give me one of those. I want one. None of us get one. None of us will get one. Half of one. I know. She's running a freaking apple pie. Veronica. What are you doing tomorrow? Well, I'm going to see Ella B tonight. Bring him to her. Yep, bring him to night. You got to get him on Thursday. It's early. It's early. I thought we had an agreement. What are you doing tomorrow? Tomorrow, well, besides working, I mean. Quit.

2:44:43We'll pay your salary. Yeah, we'll give you Dave's salary. What's more important? Love you, Vee. You're the best. You're the best. I'll be here early if you want to just drop him off on your way. Chris didn't make anything today either. We didn't ask him to. I know. That's what I'm saying. He could make us some Rice Krispie treats. Oh, my God. He does enough for us. He only has nine jobs. He does enough. Hey, why don't you make some damn Rice Krispie treats, all right? I think Mikey should have to make them. I think Mikey should have to make them. I'm going to put it in your homework, dude. I'm going to just totally put it in your homework. Put it in his homework. Yeah. Yep, done. If that was it, Jay, you should have put it in his homework, not have said anything, because then he would have seen it and be like, did I say I did? I guess I had to make Rice Krispie treats. It's only fair, Mike. How dare you? Make them with Rice Krispies, not tortilla chips. Please. No enchilada sauce on mine this time. This time? The last time I made Rice Krispie treats, they had enchilada sauce. Tamale husks on top. Your culture is different, though. I don't need them in a pinata, okay? Don't make them out of horchata.

2:45:55Please. Mucha mantequilla. Yeah. I don't even know what that means. It means a lot of butter. Yeah. All right, Veronica. She's still in fun. Take them tonight to the gig that is on a Thursday night for LLB. It's early. Two o'clock? Eleven o'clock at night. I'm going to support my girl, so. All right. Me and Swan, we're going to be there. Thank you, V. You're forgiven for not listening. I may or may not eat all of them and say that it never happened. We'll be able to tell. I'm full. She didn't even agree. She didn't say she would. She heard us out. I have more of these. Do you guys care or not? Absolutely, I do. That's kind of weird. I care. Don't! I don't know if I agree with this one. Don't buy your girl a stuffed animal. Agreed. Agreed. I think it's cute sometimes. I do think it's cute. I got one on my first Valentine's Day. I lost that one in Australia, and I got the same exact one again. That's sweet. But I don't want any more because I'm 30 years old. I take that back. I bought Jamie a stuffed animal a couple years ago in conjunction with a bunch of other stuff. I have a couple. She's like, great. Something I get to throw away. It was a Yorkie. I need one to have, but what are you going to do?

2:47:14I get like, I'll give him to Sage. Yeah. And now you have a baby. It makes sense. That's true. I'd make a ruling. I believe that you stop giving stuffed animals to women at the age of 20. I believe that by the age of 20, they've received enough stuffed animals that everything after 20 years of age is like junk. They're like, I do this. I can get with that. Yeah. Well, what they say that you should get is not just, you know, the generic roses or the chocolate. You need to step it up a notch. And if maybe there's an author that she's mentioned to you that she likes, get her a book. Or maybe there's a DVD of her favorite series on TV. You could get something meaningful, something that shows that you've been listening. For a made-up holiday. It's Jane. Jane. Now, what about us, man? I get stuff. I thought of a really good one for you guys. Take your man's car and go get it detailed. I should take my man's car to get it detailed because he does like a clean car. What guy doesn't want his car detailed? Well, we get our car. You know, I get my car washed regularly. Right. I don't. You're not the average person, though. Not the average guy goes regularly. I don't get it detailed, but I get it washed. You're shorter than the average person is what she's saying. No, I'm not. Wouldn't her making your favorite meal be enough? Yes. Yes.

2:48:31That's true. How dare you. What? You just are killing me. It's true, though, dude. If I came home and I had pot roast. I want L.O.B. and Sienna to do something sweet for the guys. I do sweet stuff all the time. I already have something planned for you guys. You did something sweet recently. You got those t-shirts for all of us. Yeah. Inappropriate t-shirts. But I do sweet stuff for my man all the time, too. Well, we're your men. Oh, I bet. The three of us are your men. Go ahead. Okay. It says, don't do what Jay does and say, Valentine's Day is a made up holiday. That should be rule one. No matter what, if you hate it or not, L-O-B, you're in this too because you say that. I'm in on it. If you hate going out on Valentine's Day, you need to at least acknowledge the holiday. Go out the day before. Suck it up. If you don't want to go to a restaurant because they're crowded or it's more expensive, then you need to make a meal at home. Do you celebrate this day? Valentine's Day? Yeah. Yes. What do you do?

2:49:31Something different every year. Do you do something sweet for your guy? Yes. Todd gets something nice? Yes. And I'm not talking about like... Something inappropriate. Something inappropriate. I always get him something. You get him something. Yeah. I got him sunglasses. I... That's... Really? Yeah. I've got him sunglasses. Yeah, I got him a bunch of... I got him a belt with some, I don't know, underwear and socks. Can I talk to Todd for a minute? Yeah. You're a lucky dude. Let me tell you something, Todd. He puts up with a lot. Hang on a minute. Todd? He gets a lot out of it. Todd. I wish he was listening. Todd, I know you're not listening. He might be. He might be. But let me tell you something. It ends, buddy. It doesn't. The babies come. The babies come. And this stuff. My wife used to make me an Easter basket. He still gets one. Your husband got an Easter basket? He gets them every year. I do, too. I do, too. His favorite candy is Reese's. Let's talk to Connor's third birthday. See what kind of Easter basket you're in.

2:50:32I still will. Jamie's big into that stuff. Me too. I promise you. Easter basket is so different than a Valentine's Day. That's how we are. We like to do that stuff. My wife used to make me, when she was my girlfriend, made me Easter basket. Do you reciprocate with stuff? Who are you talking to? You are a very generous dude, so I bet you do. I'm the king of sweet. You are the king of sweet. You've made her Easter baskets? I don't make her Easter baskets. You should. But he buys her stuff. He writes her a poem. Poem. He leaves sticky notes. And a poem. Yeah, a sticky note. I write her a poem. A poem. A poem. A poem. You write on her poem? A poem. Poem. Mike, you write her a poem. Poem. I have more. What? Two more. Go ahead. Don't just send a text message or an email, Mikey, saying happy Valentine's Day. Mikey. Why not? What if it's sweet?

2:51:33print out a picture of you guys and write like a sweet message on the back of it. Maybe I'll send a song over Facebook. I don't get it. Because I do that all the time anyway. You do? You know that? I don't. We talked about it on the air. I post a song and like... On 94.9? Yeah. On this show. I post a song and remember you tried to do something sweet for Becca and she could have cared less. And we tried to say you stole Woods' bit. Right. Copycat. Kind of did. Which I did not. Kind of did. Okay. The last one. This is the last. Mikey's just been killed today. The last mistake men make on Valentine's Day is just because you have a pair of jeans that you think look really good on you and you wear them every day. Step it up a notch and put on something that you don't normally wear and look sharp. Look sharp. And we'll be like, damn. Easy time in Bahama. Should I throw my Tommy Bahamas on? Where? Don't you? No! You have Tommy Bahamas. Easy, TB. Come on, TB. Easy, PJ. That's below the belt. Literally, below the belt. I have one Luau Tommy Bahama shirt. Why do you wear it every day? Every day.

2:53:20I can think of younger days. Jose Feliciano? Sounds like it. But it isn't. Bee Gees. It's a Bee Gees. Oh, did I play that one? Yeah. This isn't the right version, is it? No, it's not. Is this Jose Feliciano? No, this is the Bee Gees, but I bought this. This is not the one that it usually is. Oh, wait, wait, wait. There, go ahead. I was going to say, is it Devender Banhart? Yeah, it's not the right version. That's Aaron Neville. What would Aaron Neville sound like? You ever have a pirate sword tattooed on your face? Yes. No. Yes. At least it's not an ice cream cone. He does. It's... A birthmark. No, it is not. He does not have a pirate. Google Aaron Neville. I'm so curious. You're a cruel and unusual. It's a birthmark. Are you guys out of your mind? Oh, no. Oh, no. It's A-A-R-O-N. Let me see it when you get it. Google at your office if you're home. 570-1949.

2:54:43There's a birthmark. What's that? A birthmark over his eyes. He's got a birthmark. Okay, we go back. That's not what I'm talking about. M1 Ninja from Claremont. Hi, guys. Hi. Good. He dies. Who's right? He barely has it. Cheekbone. Who's right, Mike? Yes. Pirate sword. It's a pirate sword. He's got a pirate sword. Yes. As opposed to other kinds of swords. It's not a swashbuckling sword. It's a pirate sword. Oh, wow. I think it's a pirate sword on their face. Hang on. Ninja's online. I might. Hi, Ninja. Hi. Hi, guys. Hi. Real quickly, I just wanted to share with you guys a Valentine's idea for guys out there that might be a little strapped for cash. Uh-huh. So in college, my boyfriend at the time planned the most amazing thing for Valentine's Day. He went to Whole Foods because he couldn't cook and kind of ransacked their pre-made area. Yeah. And he had an indoor picnic with candles. And music. And it was the most romantic thing ever. It didn't take a lot of money. And, yeah, I think that not having money isn't a good excuse. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great idea. Yeah. I like it. It's cute. I like it. There's nothing more.

2:55:53romantic and special than a girl walking in and the guy is prepared food and there's like candles and maybe a tablecloth. And he's nude. Yeah. He has a pirate sword tattoo on his cheek. Maybe I'll go get a pirate sword tattoo on his cheek. But when you guys cook and it's like all the pressure is off of us to cook, it's so nice. Just a little surprises. The first Valentine's Day with Matt, we had only been dating a few weeks and he... Talked to my roommate, got into the house beforehand, and my whole room was just filled with balloons. It's nice. Good move. It's nice. Do you miss those days when they did things like that? I do. We're supposed to treat our wife like she's our girlfriend. That's what we're supposed to do. That'd be awesome. That you're trying to impress. Yeah, and you're supposed to treat your husband like he's a boyfriend. Yeah. That's a really good way. I made my wife a sandwich last night. And that was big for her. She was like, I'm hungry. Will you make me a sandwich? I go, okay. And I did. And then she said, will you do all the trash upstairs? Take it all out. I go, all right. Nice. Did you do it like that? No. I took a deep breath and I go, okay. And I did it. Were you being on your best behavior because your dad's staying with you?

2:57:08Maybe. I brought her tulips the other day. Kids have been scoring some points at home. Good job. That's good. Trying to. You guys are under a lot of stress right now. I'm trying to be different. Yeah. I'm trying to be opposite of what I want to be, which is playing PlayStation and dipping snow. Good for you. I brought Todd home some of his favorite Oreos yesterday. It's a huge move. That's nice. It's a little thing. I burned Rebecca a couple of CDs that she needed. Look at you. It's really nice. How about you, Ella B? I got Matt some t-shirts that don't fit him. That's cool. There's also some video of you on Facebook that I saw. How can we get that on the... We can't. I think I can. I'll share it on my page. Yeah, yeah. But we got to get it to the fan page. I think I can do it. What we're talking about is Lauren O'Brien's boyfriend secretly videotaped her pouting. Being in a grumpy mood. Pitching a fit. And then he made me repeat what I was doing before he had the time to get the video camera out, which was walking around. He calls her Eeyore. I was seven years old. Pouty, slumped over. Moon. What is it Eeyore says? I don't know. Nobody loves me. Something like that. Is there anything worse than a husband just pouting around the house when we do it? Oh, you guys. If you guys get sick.

2:58:34Forget it. Man cold. It ruins our week. Do you know I had a major flip out over a donut? And I mean major. I mean major flip out. I need to know why. Did you mad cry? Almost. I like these. I guess they're eclairs. They're donuts with this chocolate on top. She came back from the 7-Eleven by her house. I asked her for the eclair that I like. This is weeks ago. It had white stripes on it. It was a different one. It was chocolate, but it had white on it. I damn near hit the roof. I almost went through the roof. She looked at me like, are you effing kidding? Why did you just scrape the strips off? It was part of, it was embedded in the chocolate. Let me ask you, don't ask. That's something my four-year-old did. I know. I know. Was it hurt or sadness? It was one of the two. It wasn't fear. I was hurt. You were hurt. And I was sad. Because you were like, I believe it. You were hurt. Look at him. Even now, you can see it. You were hurt. Tough life. You were hurt that she knows what you like. And brought you the white stripe. They were out. They don't carry that one there. It's what she told me. Okay. I didn't believe her. And you were sad. I went and looked later. Ew! I had to get snuff, and I went and looked.

2:59:55And was she right? She was right. You looked at the eclairs, mind you. Wow. I don't believe you. Sienna, a flip out where I threw the donut up in the air. I stormed out of the room and might have cursed. Did she give you a time out? She knows to just let the cyclone come and go. And then I will come. And I said, I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry. It wasn't about the donut. I was just in a bad mood. I'm sorry. I was PMSing. But my mouth was watered. As I was laying in bed knowing she was going to get the donut, I was like, I'm going to destroy that donut. It's going to be destroyed when it gets here. I'm going to hurt it. Oh, it's done. You're dead. It's done. Hey, donut. You're dead. You're dead. I have a question for you. Yes. When you went to go investigate the situation. As you would have done, yes. Yes. Did you say to the clerk, hey, are these the only eclairs you have? No. Okay. But there were some of everything. So there was no empty tray. In the beginning, we thought that it was just a case of donuts being out. But then upon further investigation, Woods went to the store himself to check.

3:01:10You see, it seems so odd that in a town this size there were no chocolate eclairs without white stripes on the top. How could that even be humanly possible? I mean, it would have to be a town with a population of under 50 in order for that to happen. So Woods took matters into his own hands. He went to the store himself and asked the clerk, Where do you keep your chocolate eclairs? The clerk said, Right there in the back, near the bakery. So there he went. Marched right up and found out for himself that, in fact, Jamie was telling the truth. There were no chocolate eclairs. But that wasn't enough for the kid. He actually had them pull the videotape of her walking into the store. Crazy. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. Any white stripes, Hillary?

3:02:12Get it? Who said that? White Stripes. That's good. Have you heard the chocolate eclairs? From Portland. I probably will play some White Stripes. You should. In memoriam. They're in the news this week. But no, you know what I am going to play is one of our new recommended bands, The Decembrists. Got it. The new record, The King is Dead. There's like a little more of an Americana vibe on it, this album. It is. So good. I will play something from the Decembrists in a bit. Social D's new one. Some Everest Space Hog. And Cold War Kids, I just learned, are going to be guests on Tommy's show this afternoon. Wow. Live in studio. The mics are already set up. Nice. Good stuff. Nice. I don't know who that is. Come on in. It's 10.04, you stupid jack. What's the matter with you? I'm sorry. Get in. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show is out. Late.