The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/02/12
Thursday, February 2, 2012
personal financepoliticsradio gamesvaccinesdatingpet cloningmarriagewelfare policymikey showfacebook ipo401kcredit
Mikey, Woods, Lauren, and Jay mixed comic games with practical arguments about money, relationships, health, and public assistance. Mikey used his Dunkin' Donuts loss to cool enthusiasm for Facebook stock, and the group urged young listeners to use 401(k)s, guard their credit, and learn personal finance in school. They debated Mitt Romney's safety-net explanation, HPV vaccination for boys, whether a cloned Penny Bell would still be the same dog, and where taxpayers should draw the line on welfare spending. Daniel Radcliffe's failed kiss, Taylor's Paul Walker story, Team Fat's Catchphrase comeback, and the hosts' confessions about fighting and celebrity hall passes supplied the show's most memorable comedy.
What happened, in order
Facebook IPO fever
Mikey said he would wait months after Facebook's IPO to buy, citing his immediate loss on Dunkin' Donuts stock, while the others were tempted to jump in early.
Retirement reality check
The hosts worked through how 401(k)s actually invest contributions, urged young listeners to save early and protect their credit, and proposed a high-school Life 101 class.
Romney's poor comment
The show played Mitt Romney's remark that he was not concerned about the very poor, then concluded that his full explanation about repairing the safety net made more sense than the isolated quote.
Catchphrase comeback
Mikey and Woods won a chaotic game of Catchphrase after Mikey twice hit the wrong button, erased points, hung up on their caller, and nearly cost Team Fat the match.
HPV vaccine debate
Mikey, Woods, Lauren, Jay, and a caller debated HPV vaccination for 11- and 12-year-old boys, weighing cancer prevention against safety fears, sex education, and mistrust of vaccine claims.
Radcliffe's neck kiss
Daniel Radcliffe described losing his nerve during a second-date kiss, swerving into an awkward neck kiss, apologizing by text, and still getting a third date.
Clone the dog
Woods said he would spend $50,000 to clone his dog Penny Bell, while the others argued that matching DNA and appearance would not recreate the same personality.
Happy-couple formula
The hosts tested a survey's recipe for a successful marriage—including trips, dinners, romantic gestures, kissing, sex, and arguments—against their own relationships.
How they fight
Lauren admitted that she sometimes drags up old grievances to make a boyfriend feel as hurt as she does, while Mikey and Woods described Jay as an expert at finding emotional buttons during arguments.
Celebrity hall passes
Mikey rejected celebrity hall-pass lists as mental trespassing, while Woods, Lauren, and Jay argued that playful hypothetical crushes can acknowledge attraction and reduce jealousy.
Paul Walker panic
Caller Taylor said his wife refused to attend a Thanksgiving dinner with her top celebrity crush Paul Walker, prompting an argument over whether a joking hall pass would extend to a real kiss.
Welfare card limits
The hosts and callers debated banning welfare money at casinos, strip clubs, and liquor sellers, distinguishing basic help and small comforts from gambling, luxury purchases, and electronic stripper tips.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLaurenJayMitt RomneySoledad O'BrienDaniel RadcliffePenny BellPaul WalkerTaylor
34,541 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Knock right up on us. Mikey's show now on at 5.30 in the morning. 5.30 to 9. It is supposed to be a beautiful and sunny day today. Perfect. Tomorrow, 68. As we get into the weekend, it's supposed to start getting real nice into the 70s. I thought this nice weather wasn't supposed to last. We had, what, one bad day? It wasn't even that bad? It wasn't that bad, right? And the surf is going to be real good. I'll tell you about that. Today. Today. Surf is going to be good. Woods, you're waiting until summertime though, right? Yeah, I wait until about April, May. Until you get up. It just feels right. Yeah. Jay goes now. Do you, Lauren? I have not been in a long time. Are you a winter surfer? I used to be. Yeah. It's too cold. You get used to it after you do it for a while. It's cold out there. I'm going to build it up. Makes my boys real cold. Yeah, they're well up. Any discomfort?
It's the only, it's so weird because I have a really thick wetsuit and it's the only part of my body. It physically hurts me. Like it hurts, hurts, hurts. And I'm like, I can't, I got to get out of the water. Yeah. That's weird. Welcome to the Mikey show. You can call 570-1949 is our phone number. You can also text us 949 Mikey at gmail.com. It's Thursday. The Superbowl is this weekend. Gearing up for that. I put a poll on facebook.com slash Mikey show. Who do you like? Who do you like in the game? Giants or the Pats? The line is the Giants. Plus three. Plus three. So it's the Patriots are favored. Oh, that's what I thought that meant. Yeah, it's the Pats minus three. So, well, I always like the plus because it's easier. So you say the Giants will start that game up three to nothing. And they're giving the Giants three points to win the game. Does that make sense? Yeah. So at kickoff, it's three-nothing Giants. How come they will? Don't they also do a minus sometimes? They do. And it's one or the other. So it's Giants plus three or New England minus three. It's the same thing, though. Yeah, and I don't understand all the lingo. Like, I'll talk to my friends that gamble a lot, and they're like, well, you got Denver's laying six. Push the spread. I'm like, yeah, push the spread, and then we're going to parlay that and do a teaser. And I'm like.
That sounds good. That sounds like a good bet. Oh, wow. And then I just hang up the phone. I don't know what the hell they're talking about. If somebody knows the reason there's a minus. Yeah, there's plus and minus. I mean, there's got to be a reason. I mean, it's saying the same thing, but there's got to be something to it. Those numbers are always the same. By the way, just read this. We're getting out of Afghanistan. And Leon Panetta, who's our... Secretary of Defense was kind of laying it all out there. We're going to end the role that we have there and switch it over to the Afghans policing their own country and their own area. So we're going to put our eyes back on our own paper. Yes. The only thing that the criticism to moving out is that if you move out, what may happen is that the Taliban spreads more. Yep. Yada, yada, yada. I read an article the other day that said they're licking their chops ready for us to leave. Yeah. Yeah, the Taliban. They're always licking their chops. Makes me nervous. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That we're going to be gone. Jay has never once brought a cup of coffee in for Woods. Gosh, darn him. Woods has asked Jay. And water. Hey, can you get me a cup of water?
Jay will not do it, but just brought a steaming fresh cup of coffee in for L.O.B. Laura was working really hard. I wasn't. After the very last minute. You never work very hard. Now, that's not true. That's not true. That is not true. Kid does about four jobs in the morning, pal. But look, he gets all bent out of shape. It's a lot of fun to poke the tiger. Gosh darn, man. Kid works very hard. And I will acknowledge. He's a hard worker. He's a hard worker. Yes, he is. I'm just playing with him. All I want is just a cup of water sometime. But you're. able to get up. You just said they're shooting the... Yeah, LLB is crippled. She is. No, I had to get in here to start the show. In her defense. In her defense. She does have breasts and a nice gift. Yes. Yes. And she's showing off everything today. No. Oh, wow. That's a cup of coffee. That changes everything. It's blood money. Yeah, it is. It's a blood diamond. So, yesterday was the day for Facebook. They officially... put in their deal to be a public company now that you can own a share in. You can own stock in Facebook. And they say that it should be about three or four months until it goes on sale. Nice. Remember, I was wondering when that will happen. And they say it'll be about three or four months. What do you think a good, based on your experience, what do you think a good time to buy is? I will wait. Personally, I will wait.
Six to seven months. After it IPOs? Yeah, after it hits the stock market. So you're talking about a year then? I'll wait six or seven months before I go, okay, I'm in. And the reason is because the price in general, and you can never say for sure. If you could, everybody would be rich. But my mother-in-law gave me that advice, and I didn't follow it. I was like, no, I need to get this stock. You guys know me. Oh, yeah. When you want it, you're going to get it. Yeah. If I see something shiny, I'm going to get it. Yeah. My mother-in-law is really cool and she just throws it out there. She doesn't try to talk me into anything. She just gives her opinion and then whatever you want to do. So when Dunkin' Donuts went public, I said, that coffee is outrageously good. I'm getting it. So I paid $28 a share. Right. And it immediately.
And by immediately, I mean within the month, went down by $4 a share. And still has not surpassed $28 a share that I paid for it. It will eventually, but it's going to take a while. But the good thing is, though, is that you got it. Yeah, it's just weight. You got to wait. I've lost money. Yeah, it's just a margin. I've lost money. Yeah, you've lost money. You don't want to lose money. You want to make money. If Facebook, you always say, one of your bits is that you always say, look, if you're going to buy stock, buy stock and stuff that you use. Yes. I don't think Mark Zuckerberg uses Facebook as much as I do. So a kid may jump in early. Yeah, but if you jump in early, why would you want to lose money? Well, I think the potential is always there to lose money. Now, it could open at $25 a share and go to $50 a share. And that's a good money. The number that you just used, by the way, is pretty good because that's what they... They say that they think that the initial stock will be somewhere between $25 and $30 a share. Everyone will have a share. I got to. I have to do it. I'm going to get some tax money back and tell my missus, hey, I could keep it going by myself. Yeah. Facebook. Now, here's another piece of advice that I'll give you that was given to me that I think is good advice. Do not put all of your eggs in one basket. Right. Diversify. You got to have a few different things going on. Yep.
I think I'm going to do an adult thing for the first time and get some stocks this year. There you go. And it's a good idea. It's a good idea to do now. And the reason that it's a good idea is because the economy is starting to turn around. I can't remember what I read specifically the other day, but it said something to the effect of there were some very early indicators. And they said that something like nine times out of ten when this happens. By the end of the year, the economy will have grown by this much. And those things had happened. Sure. Which meant that 2012 economically is looking really good. It's looking really good. And so if there's a time to get stock, right now is a good time. Get safe things. Sure. Get things that are safe. Things like Johnson & Johnson, Procter & Gamble. Those are safe bets.
Now, you wait. You wait a long time. Let's see what Chamberlain's saying. Still 367,000 Americans did file for those jobless benefits. But now we're pretty well locked in below that 400K mark. So that's the good news. Stocks were higher yesterday. Looks like a little bit lower at the start today. Let's get to our stocks to watch. Let's lead off with our big local company, Qualcomm. After the close yesterday, they reported on their activity in the last three months of 2011. And they say that growing demand for their technology and smartphones really pushed up their revenues and profits for that. that period of time. They're a big player in that marketplace. The iPhone 4S is one of the products that they have the guts inside there, and it continues to be a big part of their ongoing success. Nice. Pretty interesting. Chipotle Mexican Grills. Always am impressed by this company. Chipotle. It's been one of the best performing stocks over the last 10 years or so. Say profits were up 24% in the past year. That's because they taste good.
Costs are a big problem. More than 32% of all their revenues go to pay the cost for foods that they then turn around and serve to people in their restaurants. And by the way, they will open, they say, as many as 165 new Chipotle restaurants this year. And Green Mountain Coffee Company, another company that came out with a strong report yesterday, said the sales of those coffee makers that use those... Pod, coffee pods, are very, very strong, and that's obviously something that is exclusive. The Kruig devices are exclusive with Green Mountain. I got one of those for Christmas, guys. I love the thing. It's awesome. It's the best. Well, we talked to that money guy, and he said, nah, get rid of that. If you want to invest in coffee, go with Starbucks. So I sold all the stuff. I didn't have that much, but sold all that Green Mountain coffee. Look at all your gut. Yeah, you'll be able to give him a hard time. He's going to come back on on the 15th of this month. He made some good recommendations, too. He made some really good recommendations. So we'll have this guy on, and now's a good time for L.O.B. to step into the grown-up game. I look at it as Social Security because I don't think that'll be there for me by the time I get to the age. I'm not going to buy stocks. I'm going to buy property. That's a good idea. Another rental house. That's a good idea, dude.
You know, I just found out, by the way, I want my mother-in-law to be our resident grown-up because she knows about grown-up stuff. We talk about grown-up stuff. Whenever I have a question, I always go to my mother-in-law. She's super smart, and she just knows stuff. So I'll ask her. And she explained to me the 401k bit because I always thought that... The 401k worked different than it actually does, and maybe you guys don't know either. What I thought the 401k was was basically a savings account that gave you a little bit on its return. In other words, let's say that your company says, well, we'll match whatever your 401k is. So let's say that your 401k deducts $10 out of your paycheck. Every time, $10. And they say that they're going to match it. So now you got $20. Well, what I thought was is that from the time you start your 401k to the time you retire, you basically have a savings account that you're stocking away a little bit of money. I didn't know that that's not entirely so. Woodsy, how do you believe it works? They invest that money. And you can pick.
You can pick basically, hey, I want to be aggressive with my investments. I want to be cautious with my investments. And they take your piece of the pie that you give them and they invest it. You can also borrow against your 401k for a really low interest rate, which I have done. And then they just take that little, they take a little kick out of your paycheck every... I did too. I paid it back. I cashed mine out. You didn't cash yours out, did you? How many have you cashed out? Just one. I've cashed out like six. Just one. When I went to Thailand, I was like, I don't know, travel. Give me my money. Yeah, you only live once, right? Tax the heck out of me. Yep. Yeah. It's tax free. That's the best part. They don't tax it when you put it in. It's only when you take it out. You take it out. Ouch. And if you do it like way later in your life, it's not that big a deal. Right. So when you take it out at retirement, it's not that bad? You know, and I don't know exactly how the take it out thing works, but I think if you're over a certain age, like they want you to use this as your retirement, taxes aren't as great. They don't want you to be 26, you know, cashing out your 401k like I was. Yeah. Well, Woods is right. That's exactly what I found out. And, you know, you can go aggressive. You can go medium. You can go super safe. And when I found out, I looked at my wife and I said, what do we do?
She goes, we're pretty medium to safe. I said, that's cool. Yeah, it is. Smart. So what that means is, is that by the time you retire, hopefully the stock market is doing really great. Because you will be doing real great as long as it is. I know my parents just got killed. They just got murdered. Because of the economy. Yeah, with their 401ks. I mean, I know plenty of people that were like, look. I had $400,000 in my 401k. I have $200,000 now. It cut in half. It cut in half in a year, and you're just like. But you just leave it there. Yeah, you leave it. You leave it and just hope that it rebounds. But, boy, I mean, think if you're my parents' age, 55, 56, and you're like, hey, let's just kick it. You know, we got a few hundred thousand dollars in our 401k. Let's just go travel. You can't. You can't. You've got to wait. You're back working, and you're back putting money in, and it's just. Last year was a tough year for a lot of 401Ks. Well, if you're listening right now and you're a young person and by young, I'll tell you, Nicole, Nicole's 19 years old. She's our phone screener. I mean this. And I'm telling you, Nicole, at 19 years old, I would not have heard this and I would have laughed and I just wouldn't have done it. I'm begging you. I'm begging you to start a 401K if you haven't.
And you will be, when you are an older person, you will go, that fat Mexican knew what he was talking about. You will be so stoked. If you are a young person listening, do that 401k. Another piece of advice from a 36-year-old with not great credit, man, protect your credit like it is your child. Truly, because your life is so much easier. I was the guy that was like, I'll worry about it later. I don't care. Dude, I'm still screwing with stuff with my credit, man. From your 20s. From my 20s when I was a moron. Yeah. Best advice I ever got was to, every time you get a paycheck, and especially if it's just auto deposit, then what you want to do is just automatically take, if you can only take 10 bucks out, put it in savings. Put it in a savings account that you don't even look at. Just go to that account. Go to that account. Once you build up enough money, use that to get a CD or something else. Yeah. Like Foo Fighters or Black Keys. Zeppelin is a good CD. They can download that for free. There's all kinds of CDs that you can buy. Yeah, the 401k is a good idea. Yeah, it is. Or a Roth IRA. Or a Roth IRA. Gosh, that's so funny. The older you get. What's that? It's a really good return, right? Yeah, and it's something that.
If you don't have a 401k through your company, you might want to, like, if you're just an individual, you might want to check that out. What is it, L.O.B.? I don't know the details, huh? It's W-R-O-T-H, I believe. Roth IRA. Or maybe R. R-O-T-H. R-O-T-H. Roth IRA. I thought it was a W in there. It basically takes your money and holds on to it and it just builds the same thing. Is that one of those deals where you cannot cash it in until a certain point? It's a big penalty, I think, if you have to cash it in. It's like a five-year and a ten-year. But if you keep it in there for a while, then it makes a lot of money for you. What they do is they use it. Yeah, of course. They use it while you're waiting. Yeah, yeah. Well, these are all things that I'm telling you, man, when I was in my young 20s. No way. You don't care. Like, I didn't care. Dude, I would forget to pay bills, and they would be like, hey, you're in collections. And I'd be like, great. I don't have any money. Right. What, are you going to get blood from a stone? Sorry. I just wanted to answer the call, yeah. That was the deal. Because I was struggling and because I was trying to make it, I was like, there's no way. Yeah, you're like, eat or pay my Sprint bill from a phone I had four years ago. Right. Eh, I think I'm going to eat. Yeah. You know? Put gas in my car. I finally got the message when I was about.
I want to say I was about 30. When I was about 30, I finally went fine. Yeah. Because my dad. Yep. It was my dad. Just, you know, he was constantly on me. And I finally was like, all right. So at 30, I started that 401k. This is what they, these are the, this conversation we just had. This is what they should be pounding into kids' heads in school. Yeah. Dude, they taught us in high school. I think we had one day of like, here's how you balance your checkbook. And, you know, we're like, whatever. There should be classes on life lesson classes. It should be mandatory. Mandatory. Learn about credit. Shouldn't there be a class? I think it would be really cool if in high school, your senior year, they had a class called Life. Life. Yeah. Life 101. Yeah. I could use four years of life. Four years of life would have been good for me. Life 101 is a great idea. Because all the stuff that I learned in civics and calculus and trigonometry, which I got an F in, I don't use it, man. I want to know why my credit sucks and how I can get it better and what I need to do. You know what? Here's how the life course would work, too, for high school kids. Let's say they had a...
a class, and the class was called Life. The course would be taught by different people. Wouldn't be taught by one teacher. For part of the semester, you would have a cop teach it. Part of the semester, you'd have a financial advisor teach it. Community service for whoever teaches it. Volunteering. That'd be awesome. It would be. Let's see. M1... I think it's... What's your name? Hello? Hello? Lam? Is it Lam? Lam, Lam, L-A-N, like local area network. Lam, go ahead, Lam. Yeah, I was listening to it, and I mean, right, I'm 30 right now, and right out of college, got a job, did the 401k thing, made big investments, bought a house at like a 22, and I learned that 401ks, it seems like the savings of the past, because you're depending.
Your future and your money on something you have absolutely no control over. And recently, I mean, I had to do a bankruptcy to get out of some of my investments. But I did that about two years ago. Yet right now I'm in a position to purchase a house. My credit score is at about 700. And you had a bankruptcy. And I had a bankruptcy about two years ago. What it is is that because a lot of the media, the information I think that people are getting fed is from corporations. And they don't want you to do bankruptcies. Because banks invest. They do bad. They can go. How do you have a 700 credit rating with a bankruptcy? And can you answer that question in 10 seconds? Yeah. I had a good lawyer. And he showed me the ways of how to get Bill Ma's credit back up. Well, good for you. That's awesome. And, you know, certainly I don't think it's a wise thing to. Tell people not to have a 401k. It's not the only thing you do, but it's certainly a good idea. And to be 100% transparent, for people like me that cannot save money, that cannot save money, it's perfect. Sure. Well, I think if you work for a company that's willing to match. Right. Why not? How great is that? It's free money. It's free money. Free money. It's pretty cool when they do that. M1, Brian from San Diego.
Hey, guys. Good morning. How are you? Good. Good. Yeah, I did a Scripps Hospital rollover when I was doing an apprenticeship. And back in 2000, in my early 30s, in 2006, I believe it was, my home went at its lowest at, what, 30-some-odd dollars, and I bought $10,000 worth. And now it's almost at, what, $60,000? So I'm at the opposite of the end of what the last caller said. I agree with you guys. It's all in. Do a 401k, and if you are going to switch or diversify, don't necessarily take the money. Just roll it over. Yeah, roll it over. Yep. Thanks for the call. Rolling it over is the best thing to do. Not what I did. Yeah, not what I did either. I'll tell you what. I'm 41, and I really am looking forward to those days. I see my parents. It looks pretty cool. And they tell you it's pretty cool. The retirement thing. Yeah. My mother-in-law retired. She says, I'll tell you what. She goes, when I was first getting close to retirement, she said, I was a little worried because I had done so much work my whole life that I thought, what am I going to do with myself? She said, I'll tell you what. And my parents, my mom and dad, they say the same thing. They figured it out pretty quick. And we like it. I can't do it.
And like it. You wouldn't like it? I will be the world's worst retired person. You'll want to do something all the time? Oh, you'll find something to do. My dad was busier than he was ever been. I mean, he started stuff and companies. Really? That's not retiring. But he retired from his oil, his main job, and then worked for himself. He just started his own deal. Or do house projects. Yeah, I love that stuff. Travel. I'll tell you what I want to do. I want to read. I want to learn how to fly. I can only build so many dynasties on PlayStation 3. You know what I mean? You'll have arthritis by that. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Play with your toes. We're a part of the video game generation. There's going to be a generation of old men. Yeah, grandpas. There already is. He's sitting in the other room. His name's Jay Isbell. Playing video games. Never considered that. With big sleeves of tattoos. Right. Yeah, I wonder what those sleeves are going to look like. At 70, saggy sleeves. Mom, Grandpa is playing PlayStation. He won't get off. He won't get off. Or will there be something new? Yeah, there'll be something new. Be something else kids will do. He's in the teleporter again. Yeah, again. Freaking Grandpa. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. And Nick Carter, L-O-B, is who?
Nick Carter, I believe, is the Backstreet Boy. Either Nick or Aaron is the Backstreet Boy. It's Nick. Damn it. Yeah. He's a Backstreet Boy. His sister passed away. Leslie Carter. And she had a song that appeared on the Shrek soundtrack. Don't know the exact cause of death yet. And when it's official, I'll let you know. But don't want to. I'm not the speculate guy. You're not a speculator. And there is speculation. I don't like speculation. I like fact. And so when there's factual information on it, we'll let you know. But it's a sad story. She's a young girl, wasn't she? Yeah. We got a great show for you. We're going to have a great show February 17th, which is a Friday. We're going to be broadcasting live from the House of Blues from 530 in the morning to 9. And LOB is going to be dancing. It's going to be great. Tell you where all the big waves are going to be today. Yeah. And...
Oh, man, we got all kinds of stuff to talk about. Including one of our sister station's vehicles. Catching on fire yesterday. Crazy. What about it? More from the Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexier. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42. Be part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. What a state of generosity, look what my agent got for me, just by switching to State Farm. A few hundred unexpected bucks, I couldn't ask for more, but now I've got to figure out what I should use it for. A new bike would be radical, but maybe something practical, like a pet baboon with one robotic arm. Get to a better state, State Farm. The Home Depot introduces the new age bronze cage pendant light.
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Do you know a high school senior who could use a scholarship for college, junior college, or vocational or technical school? The San Diego County Ford dealers can help. They're giving away $1,000 scholarships. San Diego County high school seniors graduating in June can apply for the Ford Salute to Education Scholarship. Academic achievement is considered but is not determining factor. Scholarships will be awarded in arts, athletics, automotive, building design and construction, business management and administration, computer science and technology, foreign language, general, language arts, math. Performing Arts, Science, Social Science, and Vocational Technical. $1,000 scholarships will be awarded, and one lucky scholarship recipient will win a new Ford vehicle. The deadline to apply for a Ford Salute to Education scholarship is February 17th. Applications are available from all San Diego County Ford dealers and on the website at www.salutetoeducation.com. For more information, call 619-521-2404. This report is brought to you by H&R Block. With H&R Block, Office Online, Mobile, and Block Live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever, and however you like. H&R Block, never settle for less. Well, the 8 westbound Lake Jennings Park Road, 32 miles an hour. Also, some delay here on the 67 northbound Post Hill Road to about Wintergarden Boulevard in the mid-50s. And that's about it. Everything's pretty...
Pretty much up to speed. There's a little delay here on the 54 eastbound Lakeview Avenue to about Galapagos Street, 39 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Having trouble paying for your mortgage? Free financial assistance. It's available. Visit keepyourhomecalifornia.org or text HOME to 55678. See if you qualify. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. Mikey Show. And it's like we hit a little reset button for you here at the top of the hour. Mikey Show's on from 5.30 to 9. Taking your phone calls right now. 570-1949 is our phone number, and if you want to text, you can do that as well, 949Mikey at gmail.com. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. You call in, turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That's the rules. Know the rules. And make new M1s. Listen a lot. Listen for long periods of time. And for goodness sake, tell people to listen on the radio.
Listen to us on the radio. We're a radio station. It means a lot to us to hear our frequency modulation in your little ears. And open phones right now so you can call with anything you got. This is M1 Mama Nikki from Escondido. What's up? Good morning. Today's my 10-year wedding anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you. What are you going to do? You know what? He's surprising me with a weekend away. Well, it's not a surprise if it's a weekend away. You know you're getting that. Well, I'm like, I'm nosy, so. Yeah. So 10 years ago, you used to be M1 Virgin, Nikki. Yep. Today is also the 10-year anniversary of the first day you ever made love. That is true. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you for coming. Yep. Yeah, definitely. So you don't know where you're going? No, I don't. And the only reason I know we're going away is because I'm nosy. What did you find out? How did you find out? Because he got the whole weekend off work. Ah. It's the Super Bowl this weekend.
I know. I think we're going to be back on Sunday. Okay. I'm doing the same thing. Yeah. So, and then the kids are going somewhere. I've overheard him talking. Very sly. Look at you. Look at you kids. We're exactly the same except my weekend's not a surprise and I'm not married. Oh, it's not with your husband. No, it's with a guy I've been dating for four years. Yes. Four years. So, you've got six years on me. Plus a ring. Plus, she's got 10 years on you, really. And three kids. Oh, wow. We're exactly the same other than that. Longer than it's ever been. Lauren, you don't have to say it. It's been a long time. We know it has been a long time. We know it's been a long time. All right. Thank you, Mama Nikki. Thanks, guys. Happy anniversary. Yeah, happy anniversary. Have a big weekend. M1 Tim from Temecula. What's going on? Hey, guys. I'm a rather new listener. Probably eight months or so. I was just kind of flipping through the radio and telling you guys. And I got to get up early to commute to school and everything. I just wanted to say you've become a staple in my day-to-day. I love that. Yes, sir. I love that. We love it. Thank you. No problem, guys. Thanks for doing what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah, friends. Awesome. My anniversary's coming up, too. A week from tomorrow. Wow. How many years? We will have been married seven years. Seven years. That's right. That's right. Seven years. It's a long time.
It is. And when you think about my mom and dad doing the 54 year. Wow. That's crazy. People just don't do that anymore. That's a long time. Word of the day is gossip, by the way. So when you hear me weave the word gossip into a sentence between now and nine, then all you have to do is be calling nine. I'll give you tickets to SeaWorld. Don't forget our live broadcast. It's February 17th. It's a Friday. LOB on stage dancing with 10 girls. all sexily clad. And it's free. It's at the House of Blues. We're doing our morning show that day from the House of Blues, 530 to 9. And so we'd love to have you come out. Hang out with us and see LOB dance. There's also going to be a drag race. And what we mean by that is Woods and Jay will be dressed in drag racing each other. Disgusting. And that will be fun to watch as well. We have our first rehearsal tonight as a dance troupe. I told all the ladies that we're going to take a picture. So look sexy. There you go. And we'll have it posted on MikeyShow.com probably by tomorrow night. There you go. Fellas will be able to see and ladies.
You'll be able to see what all the gals look like. Eleven girls counting L.O.B. on stage dancing pussycat dolls routine. Sounds perfect. Yeah. Practice started for the Super Bowl? Yes, sir. I got a bunch of Super Bowl stuff to fill you in on. It's the Giants. It's the Patriots. It's February 5th, 3.30 p.m. NBC, Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth calling the action. This is going to be a great Super Bowl. There's a couple of injuries I wanted to update you on. Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw did not practice. However, that is customary for him. He has a foot that's kind of in bothering him. He only practices on Friday. Is that his bit? Happy birthday, Ahmad. Yeah. And also, Rob Gronkowski has a high ankle sprain. It was gnarly. I want you to hear. this clip of rob gronkowski what they're trying to do they are looking for a special cleat yeah to help him get on the field and it's very important to rob gronkowski that he play in the super bowl yes notice how many times he says the phrase out there do i expect to play i'm just taking it day by day and obviously i want to be out there i'm anxious to be out there i want to be out there help help the team out as much as possible and uh it's the super bowl obviously i want to be out there and i'm trying everything to do to get out there oh
Do I expect to play? I'm just taking it day by day. And obviously, I want to be out there. I'm anxious to be out there. I want to be out there, help the team out as much as possible. And it's the Super Bowl. Obviously, I want to be out there. And I'm trying everything to do to get out there. Five times. Five times. In a 10-second clip. Yes. Every two seconds. My goodness. Rob, I have one last question for you. Yes. Do you want to be out there? He wants to be out there. Okay, I got you. Yeah, and it's going to be an awesome game. Eli Manning was talking about how they pretty much knocked out their entire game plan back in New York before they headed to Indianapolis. Here he is. Well, that's what Coach Kaufman wanted to do is put in the game plan in New Jersey, get everything done. And this week, hey, you make a few changes, a few tweaks. Yeah, man. They are ready to go. It's on, dude. Practice has started. Those guys are ready. This is it. Yeah, it's not... The festivities are over. It's down to business. Absolutely. They are going to have a... That's going to be a good game. It was last time they played. I think it's going to be a good game this time, too. I did, too. Let's see. A few people celebrating a big birthday today. Christy Brinkley is 58. Wow, she really? 58. God, she's smoking.
Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Graham Nash. Graham Nash is 70. You're saying Christy Brinkley is crazy. Yes. All right. Why do you think she's crazy? Oh, my gosh. Just anything I've ever read. I dated her. I dated her, Mike. She was crazy. Shakira. She's 35. Is she really? The bass player for Journey, Ross Valerie, 63 years old. She's grandpa. Still touring? Dude. Yeah. The dude from Journey is 63. Time flies. That guy used to be having groupies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know. He still is. They're just old. Yeah, they're nasty now. I bet to him. See, I will disagree. Come on. I bet that he gets young 31-year-old women that are single. Young to him is 47. I know, but I bet you he's still getting 30-year-old.
Still getting 20-year-old girls. No chance. No? There's no chance. 20-year-olds don't even know. He probably pulls up in his Lamborghini and he's got a house on the ocean. I bet not. Dog the bounty hunter's birthday today. Hey, HPD. 59. That was pretty good for a 60-year-old almost. Oh, by the way, to some people, this is a very cute day. Because it's Groundhog Day. Yeah. It is, in fact, Groundhog Day. And because I have to, and I mean it, I have to, I cannot get away without playing some kind of a clip from Groundhog Day. So here you go. The big question on everybody's lips. Yeah, their chap lips. On their chap lips. Right. Do you think... Phil's going to come out and see a shadow. Punxsutawney Phil. That's right, Woodchuck Chuckers. It's Groundhog Day. Get up and sit that hog out there. Come here, Groundhog. Groundhog Day. Good movie, Woods. Great movie. Yeah. L.O.B. One of my favorites. And Jay. Absolutely. Must see. Own it, never seen it. Here's another clip from the movie. This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel.
Predicting the weather. He is so good in that. Gosh, he's good. I love him in everything. Tell you what, there's nothing like a Bill Murray at his prime, man. He's a funny dude. His brother's in it, too. Yeah. By the way, Groundhog Day is 125 years old today. Really? Yeah, it started in 1887. Wow. In Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Pardon me? It started in Gobbler's Knob. Excuse me? You can't just make up names. I'm not. Where did it start? Groundhog Day. It started in Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Did I miss something? I said it started in Gobbler's Knob. What? He thinks it sounds like a sexual term. No, it does. It is. I've been there. I've visited that place. It's fantastic this time of year. And then that's the reason Jay does it. For Woods. He hears Woods' reaction. And it's all worth it. By the way, by the way, LLB emotion. It was just like not, it didn't even crack a smile on it. She's like, really? Well, I know that Gobbler's Knob is a real place. Yeah, of course. I mean, me too. I mean, obviously. I know you've been there. Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. I mean, that's where the thing started. Gobbler's Knob!
When I was in college, I used to hike at a place called Reddish Knob, Jay. That is good. That is good. Can I get you too? No. That is good. Why is this called Reddish Knob? What are you going to do? Anything with knob in it is great. Did you gobble the knob? Gobbler's knob. So this radio station, FM 94.9, is owned by Lincoln Financial Media. Okay, so we've got two other radio stations in this building. KIFM, we call it. K-I-F-M. Our sister station's truck went up in flames yesterday. Man. Oh, my goodness. And I believe it was our friend from Promotions, Ciro, that was driving it. The hero. Ciro the hero. Ciro is officially the hero. Well, yeah. He was able to rescue himself from the burning vehicle and carried himself out of the vehicle. I wanted to let everyone know that he is okay. I wanted to especially let L.O.B. know that his abs are fine. Yeah. Because I know L.O.B. was very concerned. How are his abs? His buns, fine. He bumped his tricep on the way out, but he's fine. It's fine. Oh, man. His buns are warmed. That's right. Yes, they are. It was their ambulance. It was their ambulance. Isolate that. Yeah, you ass. Isolate. You ass isolate. Save it all.
Save it all. Apparently, I'm an S. U.S. Isolate. He's a goldmine. Here it comes already. That was an expensive vehicle. It's just not like a van. Oh, yeah. It was a big old truck. It's like a moving truck. I parked next to it every day, and I was like, where's the thing? Where's that thing? It's all burnt. I will say I'm glad it's gone, because now parking would be a lot easier. Well, it happened in El Cajon. on North Magnolia Avenue about 2 o'clock in the afternoon on East Main Street. It says the driver of the vehicle smelled smoke. He's a good-looking guy, all right? I'm just saying he did the right thing. Tall drink of water. Yeah, sharp. Nice. That is irrelevant. Says that he turned around. He saw flames. Oh, my goodness. He was the only person in the vehicle at the time. And the fire station, luckily, was only a block away. Oh, my God. For the record, Lauren thinks she's an attractive guy. That's not even it. That's not even it. It's just crazy. Well. God, smoking hot. The van. The ambulance. Ambulance. The bambulance? Yeah. The bambulance. Well, Heartland Fire and Rescue, they were right there. Put out the fire within moments. And.
The whole front passenger area was fully involved in flames. Oh, my gosh. When the fire department got there, but the driver was out of there. I'm going to have to go get a firsthand account from Zero because his story is just way too unbelievable. He should come in with his shirt off and do it for you, L.O.B. He should show us what areas of his body felt hot. Well, L.O.B., I've got to ask you, what is missing from the story that he could fill in? I mean. That's pretty cut and dry. Where did you feel the flames? Did it blow up? I mean, did you run? Did you walk? Show me how you did it. Lauren's going to go over there and interview him. I am. He's a shark guy. I'll bring a recorder. Shark guy. She's like, can we meet somewhere for an interview? I'd like to do a sit down. My apartment. It's fine. It's our bedroom. We're good. Yeah. My living room is closed for repairs right now. We'll have to go to our bedroom. My bedroom. Our bedroom. Did I say our? Did I? I'm so silly. Let's see. There's going to be some more tasty waves today. You guys are looking. Hey, how about that? You looking forward to that, Jay? Yeah, bro. Today is going to be real nice waves. How big? This is what we got. Black's Beach, six to nine feet waves today. You just get spit right out of them. Wind and sea.
7 to 10 foot waves. Dude, you got the best barrels ever, dude. Bird Rock will have 6 to 9 foot waves. Get pitted. So pitted. And in PB, you can expect 6 to 8 foot waves. That's perfect. 6 to 8 is perfect. That's what you like the most? I can handle those. Yeah. OB, you're going to want to be careful. You got 8 to 12 foot waves. You just get spit right out of them. Over there at OB today. That'll happen. Oceanside Harbor, 4 to 6 feet. Ponto, 4 to 6 feet. Moonlight, 6 to 8 feet. Swamis, 4 to 6. Hmm. Not bad, huh? That's pretty good. Nice. I know what I'm doing. Those are fun days. What'd you say, Jay? I'm out of here. Right after the show. Yeah, man. It's going to be a nice day to surf. You're into it. I would just like to state for the record that Paxatawney Field did see his shadow. Oh, he did? So spring will come early. Oh. Nice. Excellent. Yeah. Yeah. You silly sausage.
So that's the deal. He sees his shadow. It means that there's going to be an early warm weather. Yeah. Spring will come early. Last year, he didn't see his shadow. Does it work? I don't know. There's probably some sort of percentage of times it's been correct. 50-50. San Diego Unified is going to lay off 11. 100 people. Oh, no. That sucks. So says the UT today. Actually, yeah, 1,100 people. They're going to increase class size and try to close a potential $124 million budget gap. Oh, that's always good. Increase class size. It's already such a... Let's get a bigger stadium. Yeah. Exactly. Isn't that why we put the lottery into effect so that we could put more money into our schools? Yeah. Hey, that's what I'll... Then that's... What we should be blaming. Yes. I'll blame all kinds of stuff. But we need more teachers, not less teachers. Definitely. Man. Man. Kids get lost. Yeah. I was trying to be a sub when I first moved back here from Australia. And I'm not credentialed. And they said, there's already 600 credentialed teachers on the waiting list to be subbed. So we're not going to need. Because you can apply for like an emergency certificate. They're like, yeah, we're not accepting anyone for the emergency certificate.
Imagine LOB as your substitute teacher for the day. Oh. That would be amazing. Yeah. That wouldn't be so bad, right? Watch movies. I need a spanking. Oh, wow. And now, here is your host, Don Cornelius. Don Cornelius. Welcome aboard. You're right on time for a beautiful trip on the Soul Train. From the Soul Train. He is dead of suicide. Man, what a bummer. That's a bummer. Wonder what was wrong. Wonder what was going on with him. Here's him doing some more. Is that the same one? Darn it. It was a good show, man. What a bummer, right? Miss Soul Train. Miss Don Cornelius. But that, actually, that news broke right as we were getting off the air yesterday. But sad. It's very sad. Let's see. We got M1 Leslie on the line from Encinitas. Hi, Leslie. Hello. What's going on? Well, actually, Plexiglas, if he sees his shadow at six more weeks of winter. Oh, no. It's the other way around. Really? It's the other way around because it's sunny.
He sees a shadow and, uh-oh, it shouldn't be sunny. It's not what this article says. We've got to tag six more weeks on. It's going to be a longer winter. Winter, right. If he sees his shadow. Right, because it's sunny right now. L.O.B. is looking at it right now. L.O.B., what do you got? What's it say? This says that Puxatoni Phil sees his shadow. Spring is coming early if it hasn't already arrived. See, that's the opposite. That's weird. Where is that coming from, L.O.B.? This is from the Daily News, the New York Daily News. Oh, that's the problem. Is the New York Daily News not accurate? I don't think so. I think they've got it backwards. Listen, I'm going to have to go with the Daily News because that's a publication. All right. And it's saying that if he sees his shadow, it's coming early. It's not going to last longer. But, you know, we'll check another source and we'll make sure. Absolutely, because, you know, our lives depend on it. Yes, totally. Lives depend on this. Thank you. Uh-huh. So what are we going to do? We're going to play a little catchphrase. Oh, sorry, there is another source. So six more weeks of winter. That's what my source says as well. The Washington Post says six more weeks of winter. People just guess. CBS News says six more weeks of winter. I don't want more winter.
I want less winter. We don't have any winter. Yeah. We're good. We're fine. January was the best month in San Diego. No doubt. For a few days. Now it's back to being cold. A whole month. It's like 70s all weekend. It's pretty, but I mean, it's gotten chilly again. In the morning, it's chilly. We need a few more weeks of snowboarding. Yeah. What about fat guys? Don't snort. Snow tubing. Inner tubing. We'll all ride on you. You snow eating. Yeah, do that. Snow cone. Go up there and eat. All right, listen. We need you to call in for catchphrase. You're going to either go with Team Fat or Team Fit. Yes. Team Fat's me and Woods. Team Fit is L-O-B and J. So give us a call right now if you want to play a little catchphrase. Did Mitt Romney really say he's not concerned about the very poor? Did he really say that? I have an audio clip, and you can... sort of decide what you think about it yourself when we come back. Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Vons presents the stars of your football party. The Greasy, the fit-it-all-on-one-plate guy, and the feared Double Dipper. To keep them on their game, you need to hit Vons. We have daily deals every day until Sunday's game.
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Hi, this is Karen Sop from Biloxi, Mississippi. This is Ron Hardy from Panama City, Florida. Hey, this is Shaul Zissler in Gulf Shores, Alabama. This is Bill Kearney from New Orleans, Louisiana. The best part of the Gulf is wherever you choose. And now's a great time to discover it. This is a cordial invitation to visit the Gulf Coast this winter. Brought to you by BP and all of us who call the Gulf home. We wanted an impressive metaphor for the big deals at OfficeMax, like a huge... But times being what they are, marketing sent an elephant nine inches tall. Riding a unicycle. Supposedly, he's a symbol for our tiny prices. Like a full case of X9 paper this week only for just $24.99. Regularly $41.99. You save $17. Find all the big deals now at Office Met. But please, don't step on our elephants. Offer on Saturday. Available in-store only. Limit to... Good news for Express Scripts plan members. The Vons Pharmacy accepts Express Scripts and makes transferring prescriptions easy. Because they do all the work. Vons, ingredients for life.
This report, it's brought to you by Del Taco. It's Thursday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Come in now for three chicken soft tacos, just 209. That's three chicken soft tacos for just 209 every Thursday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. Well, we've got a little slowing this morning as you travel on the 54 eastbound. You've got a backup here from Point Parkway to about the 94 Campo Road, 41 miles an hour. Also an earlier accident, this one happening, it happened actually. It's not happening now. 15 southbound, right past the 163, but it should be in the clearing stages. And some delay on the 67 southbound Lakeside Avenue to Wintergarden Boulevard, 36 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Mossy Nissan at Mossy Nissan National City. Get a 2007 Saturn Ion for only $10,495. Go to mossyusedcars.com now at VIN number 207-689. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Come on, man, wake up. Good morning. Wake up. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Woods. I just try not to be the dirty, creepy pig in my head. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. L-O-B is going to be dancing.
He's going to be dancing on stage with 10 other women. It's going to happen on Friday, February 17th, and you can be there. It's a live broadcast from 5.30 to 9 in the morning on that Friday. Get the day off. Come on out. Hang out with us. It's going to be fun. Did Mitt Romney say that he's not concerned about the very poor? If he did, in what context could he possibly mean that? Let's take a listen. I'm in this race because I care about Americans. I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there. If it needs a repair, I'll fix it. I'm not concerned about the very rich. They're doing just fine. I'm concerned about the very heart of America, the 90, 95 percent of Americans who right now are struggling. And I'll continue to take that message across the nation. All right. I know I said last question, but I got to ask you. You just said, I'm not concerned about the very poor because they have a safety net. And I think there are lots of very poor Americans who are struggling who would say that sounds odd. Can you explain that? Well, you had to finish the sentence, Soledad. I said, I'm not concerned about the very poor that have a safety net. But if it has holes in it, I will repair them. Got it. Yeah. Well, OK. Yeah. I mean.
When you first hear it, it may sound strange. But not the very rich. But not the very rich. Right. Once you hear the whole thing, it makes sense. Why did she talk about that? Catchphrase. Catchphrase. Two sides play. Mikey and Woods versus L-O-B-N-J. Describe a phrase without using any words like buffing a poop instead of polishing a turd. Catchphrase. All right, let's see. M1 Mikey is on the line. Are you there, Mikey? How you doing, Mikey? I'm well, Mikey. Would you like team Mikey and Woods or would you like team L-O-B-N-J? I'll take L-O-B-N-J. You got it. Hard man. Hang on the line. And let's see. M1 meter reader from Oceanside, you've got Woods and I, all right? All right. Hang on the line. All right. We're going to hold this little device up. We should say we're playing for a pair of tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross at Qualcomm Stadium. February 11th. Tickets on sale now at Ticketmaster. Thank you, Jay.
Let's see. I get to pick the category. Yes. And I am going to pick sports and games. Let's do this. We're mind-melding right now. Why would you do that? We are mind-melding. When you're ready, just hit start. We go. This is, you do the, it's three words, and it's when you're playing basketball, you would go into the park and play a... Pick-up game. That's right. Oh, my gosh. Oh, they do this on the oval track. The guy who sits. Do laps. But I do it in a competitive form. Indy 500. No, no. Race car driving. But the individual who does it. Race car driver. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Little girls play with these. You put stuff in it and it kind of cooks. It cooks. That's the last word. The first part, it's for little kids. Oh.
If you're not hard, you're... Soft. No, if it's not hard, it's... Easy-bake oven. Yeah. Oh, gosh. You throw a red circle at people to get them out. Frisbee. Oh, a red circle. There's a movie made about it. Yeah! Yes! Kennedy flag? Dodgeball. Oh, dodgeball. Team one. Oh, wait. I'm going to have to go write something now. All right. I almost said ball. Let's see. I'm going to change the category. Oh, I like it. Ooh. We're going entertainment. Okay. Did you give yourself a point? Yeah, we did. Okay. Here we go. This woman used to be on Melrose Place. She's got blonde hair. Heather Locklear. Yes. Very good. Oh, it's, if I do a story about myself. A biography. No, but it's. Autobiography. This guy is a conservative. I think he's a conservative. He's Irish. He's got an Irish last name. Bill O'Reilly. Yep. Oh, my goodness. Is he conservative? I've never gotten that. Okay. This is Cesar. Dog Whisperer. Yes. Oh, my God. My game. My game. 13 points every game. Come on, man. Come on, man. You're killing me. Pass it on. Gosh. Did you give us a point? I'm gonna right now. We are team two, and it's one to one. Unbelievable.
All right. Yeah, I know you do. There's a big giant button at the bottom that says next, but he goes with a little tiny button up top that says start stop every time. And I lose a point for our team. Darn it. All right, I'm picking a category, and the category is... How many times can I make the same stupid mistake? We're going to do SciTech. Here we go. Oh. I have a surgery, and it's a type of surgery for my heart. Cardiovascular. No, it's not one, it's not two. It's, oh, oh, oh. Double bypass surgery. No, there's the next one. Double valve. No, what you said, but one more than that. Oh, triple bypass surgery. Two words. First word, you breathe. Inhale. No, you breathe this every day. Oxygen. What else is it called? You're breathing. CO2. The blank you breathe. The air you breathe. Okay. Second word is an Aerosmith album. Air vacation. You use this to blow up balls. Air inflate. No, you use this to blow up balls. I'm doing this. Pump. Yeah. Air pump. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Darn. Okay. This is the red stuff that runs through your veins. Blood. Okay. And then when someone gives you cyanide, that's a. Blood poisoning. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Yes, it was in her hand. In her hand. You guys are team one? Yeah. So are we tied? 2-1 us. You're up one. We're up two to one. And so M1 meter reader? Team Fat. We are in the lead. Team Fat is in the lead. Okay? Oh, yeah. Hang on the line. All right, here we go. Food is the category. Team Fat in the house. Oh, boy. Food is the category. Here we go. These are things, it's three words. These are things you cook with. They're called... Kitchen utensils. No, it's... Stainless steel tongs. In my house, I have them hanging. Pots and pans. Yes. Yeah. Oh, if I thought it was really good, I may... Lick it? Yeah, but it's pork. Pork. Pork rind? No. Pork licks. Pork tops. Pork tops. Lick my tops. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh.
In high school, you ate here. Cafeteria. Yeah. And what did you eat there? Cafeteria food. Yep. Okay. This is a breakfast food with nooks and crannies. The English muffin. Yes. Oh, no. He did it again. He did it again. He did it again. He did it again. I want a new partner. And he may have hung up on some people when he threw it on the phone. Come on, man. I did. I hung up on our... Nicole is laughing hysterically. I hung up on our guy, Meter Eater. I hit the stupid button again. He hit the stupid button again. We'll give him two or three points. And he threw it. I hit the stupid button again. I hit the stupid button again. How did I do it? How did I do it? How did I do it? Woods, how do I do it? I'm sorry, Woods. It's a big button at the bottom. Big fingers. Why am I doing that? Your fingers are so big. How can you hit that? I'm furious right now. I'm furious. Are we tied? Yes, two to two. Oh, no. Two freebies. How did I do that? How did I do that? Here we go. Everything. Gosh, darn it. Oh, you do this with your chompers? You brush your teeth? No, you... Shoot, you bite down on them. You grind your teeth. Sand is considered like a... Sandpaper is called... It's like... An abrasive. No, it's like... Oh, gosh. True, true. The movie, true. Gritty. Gritty.
Grit teeth. Grit your teeth. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Three words. You watch this in the morning. We always have it on. Television. No. What do we watch? News. Okay. And if it's not. News and entertainment. If it's not early, it's. Late. News late. News late. News late. Breaking. Breaking news. Yes. Oh, my goodness. Come on. Come on. Come on. Okay. Ebony and Ivory. The little. Keys on the piano. No, no. But if you want to learn it, you have to take. Piano lessons. Yes. Oh, gosh. Bring back. Take it. This is. Dang it. Is that it? No. No, it's not it. Mikey tried to pause as long as he said we're taking it. Team two has got three points. I'm going to use one more LLV. It's Mike Baldwin. I know it is. I'm sorry. T-Rex arms. Here we go. We're going to stay with. I'm so stupid. We're going to stay with. We're going to go with entertainment. Mikey's got no chance. Here we go. Entertainment. Oh, she's a singer. Her last name is like a little furry creature. Brown. Mouse. No, the other one. The big ugly one. But you expand the name. Rattog. Clyde and... Bonnie. Bonnie Raitt. Yes. Oh, wow, wow. He was in The Fugitive. He was in The Fugitive. He wasn't Harrison Ford. Oh, yeah. Ricky... No, he was Al Gore's roommate at Harvard.
Tommy Lee Jones. Yes. Oh, my gosh. How did you guys know that? How did you know that? Oh, they take our lives, but they can never take our freedom. Oh, Braveheart. Yeah. Oh, gosh. She wrote those nerdy books and said she's not going to write them anymore. Harry Potter books. First, initials, and then... J.K. Rowling, yes! Oh, Married to Tom Cruise. First wife. First wife. Yeah! Is that it? No, it's tied. 3-3. This is it. Okay. Nicole Kidman. We are tied. We are tied. M1 Mikey, are you there? Yes, I'm here. The next person to win is the... The next person to get this right is the winner of the game. Team Fit needs a point. If Team Fit wins, you win. Hang on the line. We need a win. M1 Meter Reader, you're back on the line with us? Yep. I would have already gotten us a victory had I not. Twice! Twice. Twice! Hit the wrong button. Two freebies. Doesn't necessarily mean we won. No. Doesn't help us. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. I'm going to go to my strategy that's been working. We're going to go to sports and games. Let's do it. For the win. Line melding. Not cool down. Warm up. Yep. Okay. You're good. You're good.
If you want to wear like the khaki outfit and go and see animals. Safari. Safari. Where? African Safari. No. Jungle Safari. Yes. If you give up, you're going to. Quit. No, it's three words. If you give up. Throw in the towel. No, it's very close. Why did you. Why did you throw the towel? Throw in the towel. Why'd you throw the game? Why'd you throw the game? Oh, both teams have the same amount of points. Tie. Tie game. Yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. I punch you in the leg. I give you a Charlie horse. Oh, my gosh. Oh, you're never going to get this. Oh, gosh. Michael Irving. No, no, no, no, no. Dr. Joe. Oh, gosh. Oh, no. The basketball team in the city that never sleeps. Oh, New York Knicks. What was it? New York Knicks. Knicks. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Team fat. Fat. Team fat. M1 meter reader. Yeah, that's right. Let me tell you something. We had to come from behind. Listen, I injured this team. Oh, man. And we fought through the injury.
And thank goodness, because let me tell you something. Woods would have never let me forget that one. Yeah. In fact, he still might not because it was so stupid. But congratulations. You're a winner, buddy. Can you hang on the line? Sure can. That was the hardest fought victory. I'm going to start doing what you guys do and yell while you're trying to give your hints. I don't recall doing that. I don't recall that. Oh, I do. I might dance, but I don't yell. You guys yell. All I know. Do your worst. Is that that victory. It feels so good. It feels so good. It's even sweeter this time. I'm going to let the juices just run down my chin and all over my chest. Again, the villains are the victors. The villains are the victors. Yes. It feels good. Did you know that Justin Timberlake might win an Oscar award? You want to know why? Yes. Because instantly Woods gave me that face like, Really? But I'll tell you why. He's teaming up with Clint Eastwood. Now tell me you don't think this sounds good. Clint Eastwood and Amy Adams. You're a fan. She's a redhead. Yeah. You don't think Amy Adams is cute, LLB? She's cute. She's cute. Cute. I mean, she's no Allison Hannigan. I'll give you that. She's no Allison Hannigan. Weird, weird fetish, my friend. Yeah, you do. Sex pervert fetish. Yeah. But...
She is pretty. Now, check this out. So they're doing, it's getting serious Oscar buzz. It's a movie called Trouble with the Curve. Here's the idea of it. Clint Eastwood is a, like a scout, like for sports. His rival is Justin Timberlake as a scout, a younger dude. He likes Clint Eastwood's daughter, Amy Adams. I'm in. In, right? That kind of sounds interesting. Trouble with the Curve sounds like baseball, so I'm all the way in. Yeah, yeah. Baseball. Yeah, baseball. I'm all the way in. Sounds like a love story, which would explain why you're both in. Oh, boy. It's part love. Part baseball. Part baseball. More love. But also rivalry. Rivalry. You guys love romantic comedies. I have a loud cry. She's been busting testicles. She's been busting balls all week. I mean, when I say busting testicles, I mean this girl. Well, you guys set yourselves up. I mean, talking about love stories and how you're all the way in. Yeah, like Notting Hill. What are you going to do? Yeah. Yeah, I do like that one, too.
That might be a good clip to see. So anyway, for those of you that are interested, that thing's making the rounds. Let's see. Oh, I know what I got to tell you about. I'll tell you about L.O.B. doing our P90X videos. Really? You doing P90X? I'm not going to like commit. And, you know, do the whole program. Much like I did. Do the workouts. Yeah, that's exactly what I did. No, but I'm not going on any sort of... I'm doing willy-nilly workouts. What is that? What do you mean? Well, there's like a whole, you know, step-by-step process you're going to follow. I'm just going to, you know, ad nauseum. Just start being like, oh, I'm going to do this workout today. You're going to do them at your leisure. Mm-hmm. I got you. Well, you're trying to get in shape for the... For the dance thing? Yes. Well, for life in general. But yeah, my boyfriend walked in on me doing it and took video of it that he's threatening to post on the internet. Oh, please do. Gotta see it. Gonna need to see it. Yeah, gonna need to see that. What did you do day one? No, I did some like plyometrics workout. Oh, that one is a big... Yeah. Tell me what you guys think about this. Even if you don't have kids. The Academy, the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that boys...
Between the ages of 11 and 12, get the vaccine for the HPV. It's VD. Now, a lot of girls and guys, it's a girl thing, the HPV, right? Well, they're the ones that get affected. Guys are carriers of it. Yeah, guys can carry it, but the chicks are the ones that are affected by it. Human papillomavirus. Papillomavirus? Human papillomavirus. I don't know. Anyway, HPV. That's what we all call it. HPV. What do you guys think about that? I don't know. 11, 12-year-old kid getting it. I got no problem with it, man. I think anytime you can stop cervical cancer or something like that. That's what it causes, that HPV. Yeah, but has it been researched enough to really, you know, what are the long-term effects? Well, here's the deal. I guess the...
It's however you stand on vaccines. Right. You know, Jay is definitely out on vaccines. And my wife and I, we don't know where we stand. We're not sure where we stand. You know, our kids got autism and some people think that for sure it's vaccines. Some people are, you know, and my wife and I have the same rap on that, too. We would never look a parent in the eye that has an autistic kid that believes that it came from vaccines. We could never look them in the eye and say that you're wrong. We can't do that. We can't do that. What we can tell you is that our son did not have the vaccine that is the one that's in question. Right. The MMR shot. And got autism anyway. And was autistic anyway. So there's that. Anyway, whatever you think about kids getting the HPV vaccine. A lot of people would say, well, it's a good idea because it means that they won't be getting it and spreading it. What about like education and condoms and stuff like that instead of a shot? Yeah. Does it work? I mean, if there's more information out there. I mean, look, we got educated. We got educated. We all knew to wear rubber. We all knew to wear rubber and most of us didn't strap up. Boys are going to do what boys are going to do. Hopefully they do. You know, hopefully they do strap up. Yeah.
An LOB waited until later. Yeah, and I think a shot just might give him a false sense of, like, invincibility. Yeah, that's true, too. They can be like, hey, I can go out and do whatever I want. M1 Riches is on the line from Sorrento Valley. What's going on? Oh, my goodness. I would never, ever give my child the Gardasil vaccine. There are more children who are suffering from that vaccine than are doing good. The HPV? Yeah. Yeah, look up Gardasil kills. Hey, let me tell you something. Look. If you type anything into a search engine, you're going to get a lot of results. That's the thing about search engines. You can get a lot of results for a lot of different things. And a lot of people having a lot of opinions about a lot of different things. You know what's strange? You can talk to two different doctors. And one will tell you, yeah, you're good. And the other one will be like, oh, absolutely not. You can find two studies. Yeah, exactly. Depends on who conducted the study. Exactly. Whose point of view. There is a famous person. that has currently got a girlfriend, and on their second date, he wanted to go for the kiss. Not the first date. Second date, he wanted to go for the kiss, okay? Okay. But when he did, instead of kissing her mouth, he freaked out and did something very awkward. And when we come back, we're going to tell you who the person is and the stupid thing that they did. Now, this is what made me a little...
Jealous reading the story. I thought to myself, if that happens to me or you, we're not getting a third date. And when you hear who it is, you're going to be like, well, I think that person's a nerd anyway. Why are they? How did? Hmm. Power of the movie. It'll get you. Power of the movie. Movie star. Also, how about this one? By statistics, we know that people that use this type of phone give it up on the first date. By statistic. Oh, yeah, girl. So when we return, I'm going to tell you what kind of phone that is that these women will give it up on the first day. The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart.
And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola, now in black, white, and purple, the perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet. Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple, now make me love the price. And he says, no problem, because right now you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. More colors, same edge. Droid Razor. Connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network. Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon.
Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash Best Network. Hey, guys, it's Woodsy, and I've got to tell you that Valentine's Day is coming up. What are you going to get your sweetie? How about a gift that keeps on giving the entire year through? Give the Ovation Cell Therapy Valentine's Day gift set. It's only available for a limited time, but it will give you and your Valentine hair that looks healthy. Again, you've heard LOB and I talk about Ovation Cell Therapy and how great our hair is looking. That's right. My hair is... thicker, it's stronger, the split ends and the dryness are gone. Woods, I see your wife has been using Ovation. She looks amazing. Absolutely. My hair is healthy again and yours can be too. Get the Valentine's Day gift set or any of the Ovation products by logging on to OvationHair.com and remember to select FM949 at checkout and you're going to receive a special introductory discount. That's right. It's OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM949 at checkout. This is a limited time offer so you're going to want to act while supplying
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Well, we're seeing a little red now. That means it's slow. On the 52 westbound, the ramp from the 125, 19 miles an hour. Also, there's something in the middle of the road here on the 52 westbound, La Jolla Parkway. That off-ramp, it's blocked. Probably a stalled vehicle. 52, that we already gave you that one. The 805 southbound past Sorrento Valley Boulevard. Another issue here. Same thing. Probably a car stuck. This report brought to you by Allstate. Let an Allstate agent make your life easier by bundling your policies. They'll help you do the switching and the paperwork. Find an Allstate agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. It's weird. It's strange. Watch day. Must have an interview. Watch day. Yeah. He's got an interview. Yeah. I also have pants on. You do? That's weird. He doesn't usually. Yeah. Usually comes in here, no pants at all.
Yeah, pantsless. Yep. I'm mad at that. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-D. That's Jay. Our phone screener is Nicole. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn the radio down, get to the point, you don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. Woodsie, tell me what you got on National Signing Day. National Signing Day is when all the high school players around the country, the high school seniors, decide on what college they want to play for. And it's a huge day for you to brag about a bunch of unproven guys that have never been on the football field at your current university. Actually, the University of Texas and the University of Alabama had huge days as far as all the prospects are ranked by stars. A ton of five-star guys. Bama's a national champ. Yep. And Texas is Texas. Yep. The big name that everyone wanted to know was Doriel Green Beckham. He's from Springfield, Missouri. It was between Texas and his home state of Missouri. He picked Missouri, and this is him at his press conference yesterday. I would like to thank everyone that made this day possible. Most importantly, I would like to thank the Lord above, then all the coaches.
teammates who supported me, all the teachers, counselors, and principals, as well as the entire Hillcrest High School community. What position? Wide receiver. There you go. Big stud. And the San Diego State Aztecs actually had a really good class, too. They recruited 19 players, plus they already had five players who enrolled last month. So they signed six offensive linemen, five defensive linemen, and two more quarterbacks. So they had a really good run here in San Diego. There you go. Let's see. We have M1 Red on the line from Lake Elsinore. What was the word of the day? Gossip. You are correct. Yeah, buddy. You are going to SeaWorld. Hang on the line, okay? All right. All right, so Daniel Radcliffe. You know who that is? Oh, boy, come on. Daniel Radcliffe. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. went on a second date with his current girlfriend. I managed to look past my pretty subpar dating skills, which is good. You have bad dating skills? Yes, well, you know, I kissed her on the neck on the second date by accident. You've just seen a Twilight film? What was the reason? No, you know, my excuse is not actually very good.
It was second date. I haven't done much dating, so really not sure what the protocol is, but I kind of assumed second date, probably a moment to kiss. Like, I guess that's when that happens. So we go into kiss, and we're standing beside the car, and I get about that far away from my lips, and I just lost my nerve. And I was like, no, she definitely doesn't want to kiss you. This is the wrong time. Don't try it. And I'm like, you're a millimeter away. Just do it. But no, I veered to the right, to the left, suddenly, but kept going forward so that I ended up kissing her neck, which is such a weirdly intimate place to be kissed. So you texted her? I texted her a minute later, going, I'm really sorry. That was really awkward. After she left, she wasn't still standing with me. You kissed her. She left. She left. She left. I'm out of here. She was running, and I text her like a moment later just going, I'm really sorry, that wasn't one of my moves. That's not like a thing I do where I'm like, oh, I'll give her the neck kiss. She'll never be able to resist. Because it obviously doesn't work. She ran away. No, she ran. But, you know, she came back for the third date, and so thankfully we're all good. Irritates Woods on...
Multiple levels. Thousands of levels. I mean, just every level. Like a big, giant onion. Yeah. Well, let me, I know my friend Woods pretty well. First of all, Radcliffe nerdery, right? Is he? So it's Harry Potter. Isn't he? So it's Harry Potter. And you're like, you're thinking to yourself, and that dude, I bet she's a dime. Oh, guaranteed. Chances she's a penthouse model or something. He has a stud. Yeah. Can you redefine the terms of stud? He was in the movie. It's not real. He's an actor in a successful series of movies. I am aware. He's a multi-millionaire. Yeah, but he's only 14. Right, exactly. And he's appeared in plays where he's got full butt-necked nude on stage. He was in SNL. He was actually pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, he did. He's got talent. He hosted. He was fun. Guy got nude on stage. On stage. That's pretty bold. Great. He looks like Elijah Wood. Identical. Do you know that they served brewed, decaffeinated coffee now, too? Maybe you don't talk like you just snorted an eight-ball of cocaine. He's British. How about that? When you want to talk to him, you settle down. I found him endearing and funny. L.O.B., if you were on a date with that guy, you would hang yourself with waxed dental floss. No, I was laughing the whole time he was talking. Yeah, do that for four hours on a date. He'd be like, will you shut up? He'd be all laid back and just talk slow. Now, check this out. Identical.
Before we went to break, I said that there is a type, there's a type of phone that people use that will, and if they use this phone, they will have sex after one date. 62%. 62% of people will have sex after one date if they are a Android owner. Android. Got my Android. Wonder why. Yeah, so, now, quite literally, I wonder why. Why? I wonder why Jay got his. Jay? Because I wanted to do something different than what the pack is doing. Didn't want to do what the pack was doing. A little different from the pack. Yeah. The rebels. Mix it up. See. In general, Android owners seem to be more open to dating online as well. Jay? No, my wife won't let me. Match said that 72% have visited online dating sites. Huh.
And only 58% of iPhone users and 50% of BlackBerry users have done the same. So, apparently, if you use a droid, you're a sloot. Yeah, a prostitute. Yeah, you're loose, loosey-goosey. You're not getting paid. You are a smelly pirate hooker. So, we're just slutty. Android users. There it is. Did you know that Gwyneth Paltrow used to get cheated on all the time? I wonder why. Yeah. Why do you think that? Because she's a beating. Oh, my gosh. A giant beating. Daniel Radcliffe's not. Wait a minute. Really? Hang on. People actually say what I love you say. No way. Yeah, you know why? She's so sweet. You know why they say it? She's so sweet. They say it because of her.
her little blog or whatever that she blogs about all these things that nobody can do. I liked her and then I saw an interview with her on David Letterman and she was like, I'm so posh. I'm so posh. That's what the... I grew up on the Upper West Side or the Upper East Side or whatever side it was. That is the rap. That is the rap on her. She's real fancy. Fancy? Gosh, I always looked at her and was like, I bet she's so down to earth. She looks down to earth. Looks like the girl next door. She's a good actress. She was good in Country Strong. She's married to the dude from Coldplay, lead singer. Yeah. It also seems like a beating. She has a seven-year-old named Apple and a five-year-old named Moses, but who doesn't? Lauren, do you think I'm a beating because I have free trade written on my arm in Sharpie? That's one of the reasons, yeah. What about free Cuba? So here's what she said, that she had a boyfriend who, quote, used to cheat on me all the time. Now, she dated Brad Pitt from 94 to 97. Yep. She dated Ben Affleck from 97 to 2000. So if she's talking and she said that she was not happy in her 20s, that coincides with the cheating time. Read between the lines. Well, if you read between the lines, it's one of the two. Yeah. Either Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck. Well, Brad's got the track record. Yeah, he does. True story. Howie Mandel.
is going to be teaming up with Kelly. Take Regis Philbin's place. Wow. It's a done deal? Yeah. Howie Mandel. He's replacing Regis Philbin. It's going to be live with Howie and Kelly. Rolls off the tongue. You know that it's live with Kelly right now? That's what it's called. It's just her. Live with Kelly. I'd rather see that, I think. Yeah, I would too. Yeah, I think so. Maybe he'll do some more of that little kid voice he does. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he takes a surgical glove and blows it up over his face. Yeah, he's a germaphobe? Yes, I didn't know that. He's a germaphobe. Does a knuckle bust? He doesn't want to make contact? Well, I can understand the mindset, man. A lot of germs all over the place. Yeah, wash your hands. It's kind of gross, and you know people aren't. A good friend of ours ate at a restaurant. Got E. coli. Yeah. Almost died. Almost died. 106 temperatures. Brain was about to fry. Oh, my gosh. All because somebody didn't wash their hands. Hey, poo salad. Yeah. Disgusting. You got to be careful, man. It's hard to be careful. It is because you just want to live your life. Yeah. You just want to go to a restaurant. You just want to eat. Yep. But you got to be careful. I just want to eat salad. That's all I'm asking. Let's see. Oh.
State of Washington just approved gay marriage. They did this last night. It would legalize same-sex marriage. That would be the seventh state to allow gay and lesbian couples to get married. And now it goes to the House, expected to be approved, and could go into action as early as next week, which would mean that a lot of gay and lesbian couples will probably go to that state. to be able to get married. Didn't they have it for a minute here in California and then they took it away? I think they did. Now, I'm not down with the back and forth stuff. I don't like when people vote on something and they say, yeah, and they repeal the fighting over it. That's the thing that is the whip to me. If you make it a law, it's a law. I don't know. Because if that was the case, things would have already evolved. Something's got to change. Something's got to change. I think you should be able to, you know, public opinion is going to change. Yeah. Maybe Jay makes a good point. So listen to this. Would you clone your pet? Check this out. It's a TLC special. He said, I cloned my pet. That's the name of it. Would you pay $50,000 to clone your pet? Because these people do. This woman cloned her dog, Trouble.
She says it's not for everybody. It is extreme. She says it was something that was meant and that she wanted to do because it worked for her. It was meant to show how much she loved this animal. Woods loves animals. And you would do it, right, Woods? In a heartbeat. Now, wait a minute. Hang on. Which is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. Yes, you do, too. Yes, you do. I know who you like the least. Yeah, you eat shooters. Gosh darn, you guys. It breaks my heart. Yeah, it breaks his heart. Try being a shooter. Think about him. Yeah, the five grand I just spent to get his ears fixed. I mean, I love that dog. Here's the thing, though, Woods. Not five grand. It was a grand. It's not the same dog. It just looks... Okay, in my household, it's pretty... It's well known that it would be Penny Bell. Would be the one that got cloned. And maybe Lucky. But... Yeah, I would do it. But they still die. Why wouldn't you just buy one of the same breed? Because they're not the same. But neither is the clone. But you want it to look just like him. Are their personalities the same?
Because their clone, their DNA is the same. DNA, you could have, I think it's the whole nature versus nurture thing. Yeah, I think they are different. I don't know what that means. I don't either, but it sounded cool. It sounded real cool. I think that basically the dog would be different, but would look identical to what it was before. I don't care about the way, you know, Penny could lose an eye, and it's not going to change the way I feel about her. So what do you think, you think the clone will just be a repeat temperament? Repeat Penny Bill. I saw this documentary one time where they tick. they took this dead dog, they buried it at the Micmac Burying Grounds, okay? It's not, yeah. And this dog came back, but it was different. Not the same. That's not a documentary, Mike. It's not the same. It was scary. It's called Pet Sematary, and it was a movie. You saw it too? I did. Zelda will get you. How scary was Zelda in Pet Sematary? I never saw it. Oh, don't do it. I read the book. Don't do it. Zelda will get you. I still have nightmares about Zelda. Everybody that's listening right now, that saw the movie Pet Sematary when Wood said, Zelda, don't act like it didn't scare you to Murgatroyd. Oh, dude. Because it did. Oh, my God. What did he say? I want to play, mommy. I want to play, daddy. I want to play, daddy. Oh, no. Yeah, here's the deal. If it came out that it's the same dog, done. It's a done deal. 50,000. Why wouldn't you? How much does that breed cost? It can't be more than. 700, 800 bucks. Yeah.
Just get another dog. It's not PB. But the other one's not PB. You want identical PB. It's clone. It's identical Penny Bell. It is not. It's not. It is. I'm telling you. 5701949. I want to know what M1's think. Would you do it? Would you spend 50 grand and have the same pet? If I had the money, I would do it in a second for that little angel. She's getting older, dude. It makes me sick. Yeah. That's the sad thing about dogs and cats. Yeah. They don't last long. Well, the next one's going to be as much fun. That's why I don't want to get any more pets because I don't want to lose them. You have that memory. It builds a good memory. Oh, my gosh. And Woods, we've talked about it before. I said to Woods, I go, hey, listen, man, when that happens, you get a day off, a week off, whatever you need to do. And Woods is like, I will not take a day off. I'll cry. I'll be here in tears all day. But that wouldn't be good. That would be depressing. You guys can make fun of me. He has fun with his pets. He doesn't love his pets. It's like much like his wife, like he doesn't love his wife. Oh, my. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, she's been taking tests. She's just been taking them this week and just vicing them up. Yeah, but I don't know why I love my pet. I was just going for a joke. Like, remember the joke about you not loving your wife? I love my wife and.
My pets very much. Yes. Went over like a... Went over like a lead balloon. It's okay to love your friend. Went over like a lead balloon. I love my pets and my wife. I love my wife so much, I'm getting her name tattooed on my chest. It is a done deal. When are you going to do it? Probably Valentine's Day. Oof. Oh, my goodness. It's a done deal. She loves it. She wants it, yeah. Over your boob? Yeah, on my breast. Why? On his breast. Yeah, what are you guys picking on? What's he so much for? I'm in the gym working on that breast, pal. Yeah. I still think it's going to be weird. End of the day, you might look like some badass prison thug. You can get on your forearm. Yeah. Maybe across your neck. You don't have any, right? Jamie, no. Jamie. Wow. What is his deal? He's on something. He might go into that. 570-1949. I want to know what people think about the whole dog cloning thing. Go ahead, Jay. You can get that. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.
Yeah, me personally, I don't want any more pets. Come on, dude. Your kid's got to grow up with pets. Nope. That's how you teach them about loss. They're growing up without pets. Mikey. I don't want them to have to experience the loss. I think it would be too sad. Well, I guess you can't have them grow up with grandparents either because that's going to happen. It's going to be sad. Don't have a choice in that. Don't have a choice in that. True. Don't have a choice in that. You have a choice with the, you got a choice with the animals. You know what I mean? You don't have to do animals. Mikey Show, who's this? I'm sorry, I have to remember. It's the first time that has ever happened. And it happened to be the luck of the draw. Mikey Show, who's this? This is Armando from San Diego. Armando, would you clone your animal? Yeah, I think I would. That was Armando. From San Diego. From San Diego, calling to weigh in on whether or not he would clone his animal. He says...
He would. Emphatically. Yes. Our phone screener's out getting me a burrito. So we didn't have a phone screener there. Save that. My phone's not working out here. I can't answer any phones. Mikey Show, who's this? M170 from La Jolla. Ah, there we go. Now this, I can already tell, is a good call. What would you do? Being in that tech, I would not. I think it's weird. It makes me uncomfortable because it's not. DNA-wise, it's the same animal, but it's that whole, you raise them, they might have a different personality, they might not. Yeah. Wood said at one point that he would stuff them, too. Yep. People do that. I thought about that. We joke kind of around the treatment room that we're going to stuff our beloveds and, like, put them in their kettles so it looks like they're constantly sleeping next to you. Yeah. That would be a little bit swaying on the fact that Mikey doesn't want anybody to grow up with animals. Yeah. No. Why?
Because I think it's too sad. I think it's too sad when they go. Here's the deal. You got to weigh the happiness against the sadness. Don't ever have that first love in junior high or high school. They're going to lose that too. And then my three-year-old knows how to brush his teeth because we brush my dog's teeth. And it's his chore to feed the dog twice a day. Oh, man. That's the best. He'd be so sad. He knows he's going to feed the dog twice a day and gives her her water. And every month he gives her all her medicine. And it teaches him three years old. He knows this responsibility. Oh, man. When I was a kid, it was the saddest thing. When we lost our doggie. Death comes to everyone. It does. I have two cats in the last. three years. I lost one while I was three months pregnant. But it gives you that. You have to have the loss to have the love. Nah, you're right. I think you're right. It's true. So I'll bring over one of my dogs and let you guys test it out. Shooter, because you won't miss him. I love Shooter. Something fuzzy and loving. Yeah. And it'll be great. And Dickie will love it. They always connect. They love it. They will love it. Fine. You got to talk Rebecca into it.
No problem. All right. Thanks. This was the most fascinating thing that was handed to me this morning. What the hell is a happy couple? Right. I mean, happy, healthy all the time. OK, well, they took a survey of the people that actually are in healthy relationships. What they found out was that a lot of them are doing this certain things consistently. Some of the stuff. will shock you. How many times, if you're in a marriage, should you be having sex? On average, if you're a healthy couple, how many times should you be arguing? How many times? We'll tell you next. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Vons presents the stars of your football party. The Gracie, the fit-it-all-on-one-plate guy, and the feared Double Dipper. To keep them on their game, you need to hit Vons. We have daily deals every day until Sunday's game.
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This report is brought to you by Del Taco. It's Thursday taco night at Del Taco. Coming now, three chicken soft tacos, just $209. Three chicken soft tacos for $209 every Thursday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. On the 54 westbound of the 805 North Connector, there's a semi that's blocking that transition right now. It's stuck. They're waiting on a tow truck. Also, Woodman Street on ramp to the 54 westbound. We've got a hit and run, but no injuries. And a problem on the 52 westbound from Mission Gorge Road to the 125 southbound. It's pretty slow, about 19 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Applebee's. Resolved to make your year unbelievable with Applebee's under 550 calorie menu. Great tasty meals starting at $9.99. Only at Applebee's. come in try one today i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report this is bird bird sir shed with the fm 94.9 authentic surf report for a thursday morning brought to you by the shed courts where i will be all day long waiting to share stories again show you some boards and everything else you might need about surfing so come on by say hi
This morning, I'm going to try to go surfing, though, because it does look pretty fun out there. West-northwesterly swell has picked up a little bit more since yesterday. Cleaner, longer, straighter lines. Very inconsistent and kind of swell-dependent. If you're not at the right spot at the right time, it'll look pretty small. Then out of nowhere, you'll see a pretty solid set. We've got some tide fluctuations that aren't varying that much, so that won't have that much of an effect on things overall. Look for reef breaks to have better shape throughout the day, as will the structured areas and the man-made. areas as well, natural coast too. Beach break's kind of walled up right now. They might improve a little bit, but all in all, it's a pretty stray swell, and again, inconsistent, so be patient. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for all your surf or repair restoration needs, go see Roper down at Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Let's get to the point. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. I'm your diminutive friend. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. House of Beauty. House of Blues. February 17th. LOB on stage. Dancing like a pussycat doll. Yeah. With 10 good looking M1 women.
Identical pussycat. It's my sexy meow. One more time with that sexy meow. Oh, wow. That is as sexy as that tube that Woods was playing yesterday. No, you're not playing the tube. I don't know. You threw it away? Yes, Jay. Thank you. I would never throw it away. Why would you come touch my stuff, dude? Thank you, Jay. People are clamoring. For that tube flute. That's a true statement. I had text messages saying, kill the tube flute. Oh, it was the most annoying sound. Woods had some tube. Where is it? It's awful. You know not to touch my stuff. You don't like it. You left it laying around. Actually, technically it's my stuff. That's true. It's the pump to my ball. Yeah, well, I'm glad he did. That thing was annoying. Okay, now check this out. It sucks. Here's what happy couples do in their marriage. Successful couples will take a vacation two times a year. Well, happy birthday if you're able to take a vacation two times a year. Everybody's not able to take a vacation two times a year. Well, you got to tap the brakes on vacation. A vacation can be a night away. It can be one night away and then go to San Francisco or L.A. or something. True story. And now, if you're a successful couple, you'll do that twice a year. Successful couples in general will go out to dinner three times a month.
Successful couple. I need to step that up in my game. I go out to dinner way too much. Gosh, I never do. A successful couple will give each other a romantic surprise at least three times a month. Oh, wow. At least three times a month. That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. Now, and I'm saying that even to, I would say that to my spouse. Like, babe, please don't worry about trying to get me something romantic three times a month. That's. I don't want to put her through that. You know, it's a lot of work. Maybe it's a gesture. Yeah, gesture. Like a note. That'd be nice. Does washing the dishes count? Afternoon delight. Yeah, afternoon delight. Yeah. Does washing the dishes count? No, that's from the bushes. If you don't normally do it, I'd say that's a romantic question. I heard you, Jay. I heard you. We got you. This next one? Making the tree grow. You know what I mean? Plucking the leaves. Cutting back the shrubs. To make the tree look bigger.
Farming. I'm farming. Be a farmer. Listen to this next one. You should kiss six times a week. What? At least. I kiss like six times a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I don't mean a peck. Yeah. Why is that gross to you? That is so weird. French kissing. French kissing. A little bit of tongue touching. He's just such a hippie, free love, nude muddest. Honest question. You don't like to touch tongues? Legitimate question for you, Mike. Go ahead. Go ahead. When was the last time you French kissed your wife? I don't know. I don't either. French kissed. Last night, but not my wife or my husband. Yeah. Just the guy I'm dating. Just some dude. I'd say his last weekend. French kissed. By the way, by the way, when Jay said that, he did it with his, he did it.
With a cockiness? No. A body language cockiness. Surprise and shock. When was the last time that you had relations? He looked at me right now. With your wife? Well, first of all, that's none of your business. So you can't remember. NYOB. You can't remember. I can remember. It's none. Yes, I can. We're all adults here. We may be all adults. We're also, we don't have to tell when we had sex with our SIG other. I can only do the French kiss if it's during relations. You can't just French kiss and then walk away from each other. Yeah, you don't walk up in the kitchen and... No, you give it just a little squeeze. I will do the bit where I go in for a peck and then I will go. And I like to throw the tongue in there. That makes the tongue a joke and not a. That's true. Which is also like my nudity. That's their dynamic. Woods and his wife, he does bits with her. She loves bits. Sexual bits. Sexual bits. Nude bits. Your tongue freaks me out, though. You guys didn't touch tongues. Yeah, it was gross.
It's all dippy and smoky. I'll tell you what's gross. A 48-year-old Jay walking up to his beautiful wife, Kim. I hope you don't do that in front of your kids. And whispering in her ear. His catchphrase to her. I'm going to need you tonight. That's what he says when he... I'm going to need you tonight. Four kids. Four sweet children. How do you think they got there? Successful couples say I love you four and a half times a week. That's great for me. I think that's great. Are you kidding me? I say it way more than that. 50 times a day. Of course. Every time we talk. Now, here's the thing, though. I do believe that if you can control it, maybe you should. No. Hang on. I want you to just consider something. Okay. If you control how many times you say I love you and you keep it to just.
Four and a half times a week. No way. Just hang on. Just consider what I'm going to offer. You don't have to buy it. I just want you to take a look at the merchandise I'm about to give you. Okay. If you keep it to four and a half times a week, L.O.B., you make it more special. Definitely. But you have to, whenever you say goodbye, you have to tell them that you love them. And that's what I'm saying. If you control that. No. There's no control when tragedy strikes. That's true, Mike. Don't you want the last thing you say to your wife? The last thing you say to somebody has to be. I love you too. She got me with that. Because what if it's the last time you talk? You held back because you were trying to do a bit. You were trying to do a bit. You're on three and a half and you're like, I can't say it again. I'm over my quota. Meanwhile, you lose out. You said, I love that morning. You're right. Successful couple has sex twice a week. A successful couple. Now, this is a married couple. Successful married couple has sex twice a week. Well, Mike, I must just be the best couple on earth. Twice a day. Twice an afternoon. What's it say about doing it twice during this show? Yeah. Me and my wife, we have to sext during the show. Yeah, I have to. I have to. She needs it. She's got to have some Jay. And if you've ever had Jay, you'd understand. You'd know why. You guys were like, once a month?
Jay, I know that you're dying to know what our intercourse schedule is. I think I do know. I think I do know. You don't. No, you don't. You don't, and you don't want it. 12 times a year? Yep, on a good year. I'm not telling you how much I have sex with my wife. I got Rebecca on the phone. Oh, boy. I'll get her on the phone. I'll do it right now. Successful couple has sex twice a week. They argue once a week. Yeah. A successful couple. If you don't argue, it's unhealthy. There's weeks we don't. Now, you've got to argue good, though, Woods. Fair. You've argued with me. Hang on, hang on. I don't mean that you have to be effective. Just be fair. Oh, you mean that I don't have to slit her throat? Yeah, you don't have to do that. Go for the kill? That's my deal, too, man. I mean, it's a good thing. That's a bad thing. I'm very skilled with words, and that's a bad thing, too. It is not fun to argue with me, and I don't like it, and I don't like the way I feel after I argue with somebody. I hate it. You know what I'll give you about your arguing, and you ask yourself this as you're listening. Do you argue this way with your spouse? And the only reason I bring it up is because, you know, Woods is my work spouse. He is fair and will admit it.
You will admit stuff. If you get called on something in general, you'll you'll say, yeah, yeah, it's true. Fine. I try to do that, too. I try to say if somebody tells me you did this, I think about it and I go, well, did I? And if I did, I'll go, OK, you got me. Yeah, that's you know, you have to you have to admit when you're wrong. It's not easy. I have a bad habit like with. Probably a lot of boyfriends I've had. If they wrong me, then during the argument, I need to get them to feel like as bad as they make me feel. That's me. Oh, man. That's Jay. I'm the destroyer. Jay is the battleship. Like, if I don't think that they feel bad enough, I got to, like, say enough stuff to bring them down to feeling bad. You bring up old stuff? Yep. Oh, gosh darn it. Yep. I bring up old stuff or I say things that aren't true. See, here's the deal. Here's the deal. I'd be like, oh, I guess I'm just going to go sleep with this person now. Don't they know that you're just BSing? Yeah, I just throw stuff out there to just try to get a reaction. Well, here's the deal. When you bring up the old stuff, don't they just throw at you right away that you're not supposed to bring up old stuff? No, no. Wouldn't fly. I pretty much pull anything out of my arsenal if I think someone's not feeling bad enough about what they did. That's vicious. I know, it is vicious. But usually I'm a very fair and logical fighter. But every once in a while when they're like, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I did that.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not feeling bad enough. You're like, not only did you do that, but you did this, this, and that. I want you to imagine, if you will, a cannon that has gone into a machine that will make the cannon grow 50,000 times bigger than a normal cannon. Yes. And then I want you to mount seven of those cannons onto the side of a battleship. Now you're getting a small. glimpse at what Jay is like during an argument. Now, I'll tell you this. When you first meet Jay, he appears to be the kindest, most gentle little country hayseed you've ever met. Until you get that first one out of the way. Now, let me ask you this, Woods. Yes. Imagine if you were to ask Kimberly R. Isbell. About the worst one. Because here's the deal. We know what a regular one's like. What was the worst one like? I can't imagine. I've gotten into it with Jay bad one time. And it was bad. Yeah.
Really? I've seen more than one. Yeah, me too. No, I mean, I've only seen one where it was. It was like three weeks ago in here, and he made me say words that I don't say. Me too. Yes, what got me is that when he put my actual backpack on and pretended to be me leaving the studio early, I'm still mad about it. Hey, here's Wood after me. I put my backpack on. I was like, I'm going to kill it. Can I tell you a secret? Yeah. Every single time I see your backpack from that day, from that day, every time I look at Wood's backpack, I think of when Jay did that. I can't not. Every time you put your backpack on, I'm like, oh boy. Oh boy. My new bit is I have to be like. Is there anything else that needs to be done before I go? Or is it okay? Am I okay? Listen. Gosh darn. I hadn't said some of these words. Years. For a while. It's been a while. And Jay, and let me tell you, when he loves you, he does.
He kind of takes pride in it. Oh, hell yeah. Let me tell you something, man. The only other guys that can get me like this are my brothers, my actual brothers. But here's the deal. It's not even the cutting deep. Jay just knows where buttons are located. Yeah, that's true. He knows where buttons are located, and he knows how to get to them. And so I was laying on my couch, and my cell phone rang, and it said Jay Isbell. And I went, oh, shit. That was my. Oh, see. Hey. I remember I even answered the phone. This was my response. Yeah. Hey, dude. Yeah. And he goes, hey. And then he started. Barrage. Oh, wow. And it took a second. It took a second for my brain to register. It really did. My brain had to register. I was like, holy crap. I think he just. And then it was like a.
A rocket. My head was like a rocket coming off of my shoulders. Jay will get you. He brings the gimp out of you. Yes, he brings the gimp out of you. He can bring the gimp out. The dark passenger. The dark passenger. Yeah, the dark passenger. He brings out the dark passenger. And he gets, he's like, well, fat. I mean, he'll go, he'll cut you personal-wise. He also wanted to talk about, off the air, during our last break, he wanted to talk about. He was bringing up the list, and I go, Jay, I don't do, you know, I don't do the list. Yes, you do, Mike. Yeah, everybody's got a list. The list. Yours is all redheads, we know. Yeah. No, no. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. What Jay means and what I would ever consider are two different things. I wouldn't have a list of somebody that I would sleep with. And Jay's like, that's a lie, Mike. Yep. Come on. If you had permission. I'm like, in my world, you don't have permission? If you were single. Hypothetical. Actually, the list is more kind of your passes.
So it's not made for the single man. There's no passes in a pretend pass. In a situation where if you, for some reason, got invited to the Playboy Mansion. No. Someone was on that list. I'm married. No. Someone that was on that list was there and was like, call your wife and be like, honey. No. I want to meet one guy that's ever exercised one of the names on his list. You never would. It doesn't exist. You never would. But it's a pretend list. It's a pretend list that you make up in your head. You're like, hey, man, if I ever got the chance. If I have that pretend list. list i'm allowing my uh i'm allowing my brain to be a dog exploring yards it shouldn't be exploring no you're that dog is supposed to stay in one what are you letting your dog out right around get those yards in your dog's defense are located in yeah india your dog's not even allowed on a plane in this instance why am i humoring That dog. Well, you know which girls are good-looking. You can't tell me you don't look at a group of girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I can tell you what girls I think are good-looking. There you go. Okay, because I know Rebecca. She thinks Beckham's hot, and she thinks Brad Pitt's hot. And Edward. That's her list. She thinks Edward's hot, and she also thinks McConaughey is hot. Yeah, that's the list. That's her list. And we have this primal instinct, you know, to want to.
Look at other people. Yeah. Maybe even do it with other people. But we're not going to do it because the confines of our society say we should be monogamous. I don't have a thought about Bone and Allison Hannigan. I don't. I'm being honest with you. I don't have a thought about, but I think she's hot. Okay. There you go. But just because, my mom used to say this, just because you get married doesn't mean you stop having eyes. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't. My mom. You say that. I don't have to look at a broad. I don't have to. I make the choice to look at it or I don't. But you don't, why would you have to, why would you suppress that? Because I don't want to let my mind go to places. The list is your past to be like, okay, we're married. I know you're not going to do anything, but, you know, let's give this a little leeway of like, okay. Alison Hannigan, the girl from Mad Men. Oh, Mamacita. Christina Hendricks. Christina Hendricks? Yummy. Well, if you could see inside my mind right now. It's good looking. Plus, it gives your significant other an idea of like, all right, let's say I was ever going to, you know, dress myself up or something like that. Now I know what he likes. Role play. What? Uh-oh. No, it's not your wife. Saw Woods' text light up. My heart started racing. Me too. She knows my bits and I know her. My wife's got them. Yeah, well, Rebecca's told me who she thinks is good looking.
I know that. But we don't just think that they're good looking just to put them on a shelf and admire them. It's like we're like. You want to put your head in the crook of their arm. I don't ever want to think that that's a little. I don't want to think about my wife. No way. That's what they want, though. No. They wouldn't actually want to do it. I don't want to think that she's doing it. She's not going to. No, she's not going to. I know. I also do a bit with my wife where I'm like, I have a man crush on Ryan Gosling, and that's a true statement. You can save that clip. We just did. If we were out and we were at a club, which we never go to clubs, and Ryan Gosling was there, and was like, hey, I want to make out with your wife, and be like, babe, you got to. I always say that. I'm like, babe. You want to make out with him? Yeah. I give that one to you. I say that bit to her. Would you? I say it to her. Would you? Do you play would you? I say it all the time. Matt asks me would you all the time. He sees the guy and is like, would you? Wait a second. What? You don't mean it literally, right? Yeah, dude. No. No, you don't. No, you don't. I like to watch. You're telling. I'm just kidding. You're telling me. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Wow. This blew your mind.
I'm a voyeur. What do you want? Let's say you're at Stingery this weekend. Yep. Ryan Gosling's there. Yeah. He wants to make out with Jamie. And he buys you a drink and doesn't realize, he buys Jamie a drink, doesn't realize it's your wife. I'm soaked. Now he does realize you're right. I mean, he says, you are a lucky guy. If you let me, I'd make out with her right now. Have at it, kid. Do you feel like you would then be kissing Ryan Gosling? Wait, no, no. Who cares about that? I don't have a latent homosexuality. I'm just saying the guy's a sharp guy. And if my wife, you know. Lauren, how would you feel if Matt said it was okay for you to make out with some chick? Guy. Not some guy. Some guy. It's Ryan Gosling. Movie star. Clooney. If he said it was okay? Ty digs. Ty digs. Ty digs. And he's in the room. I wouldn't do it. No, that's not what I'm asking you. How would I feel? Yeah. Oh, he tells me that all the time. See? He says he would. He tells me people that I get passes with and stuff like that. It's just a bit. It's just a bit. What if it really happened? You'd call my bluff and I'd have to see what would happen. Yeah, he told me if I wanted to make sex to Michael Vick.
Sorry, Woods. That then he would raise his child as his own. If I were to get pregnant with my baby. That sounds functional. We have a similar dynamic. L.O.B. does a lot of bits with Matt. Matt does bits. We do bits at home. Do more bits. It's fun. It's fun. I'll tell you what bit's okay. Reaching over and grabbing a honk honk, that is a great bit. But you're telling my wife that she can bone Matthew McConaughey. I didn't say bone. It takes the tension out. It takes the tension out. And you know what else it does? It helps suppress, not suppress, it helps alleviate. Yeah. And there is nothing worse in the world than jealousy. Wait a minute. I have to imagine. No, you don't have to. Okay. Works for me. In order to alleviate the jealousy. It works for me. No, but you're saying to that person, you're only human. I know that you're committed to me, but I know you still are attracted to people. Exactly. But let's give you this hypothetical that's never going to happen. And let's talk about it in those terms instead of like how you want to bone my best friend. Right. Hey, listen, I'm telling you.
My wife and I have had a go at one another recently, and I still would never let that woman kiss another dude. I don't care. I'm trying to think. Movie star. Brad Pitt. If Brad Pitt said, your wife is gorgeous, is it okay if I kiss her? I'm not kidding you. I might deck him in the mouth. I might deck him in the freaking mouth. To each their own. It's a bit. Taylor from Escondido, you there? Yeah, what's up, guys? What if it was the guy from Kings of Leon? Done. Caleb. Done. You would let him. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Taylor from Escondido, go ahead. So this is about four or five years ago. Yeah. My best friend was dating his second fiance, and he invited us to Thanksgiving. And my wife does have a list. And he said, hey, come to Thanksgiving. Just a heads up, Paul Walker's going to be there. He's dating. Oh, boy. He's dating my— Oh, LLB just melted in her chair. She's swooning. I want to come. He's dating my fiancé's girlfriend. So I said, awesome, we'll be there. They were having Thanksgiving in La Jolla. And so I told my wife, and I said— Let me, real quickly, can you hold on the line with me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sweet. Don't go anywhere if you want to hear the end of this story. It gets good. Hang on.
Is this M1 Night Scream? Yep, it is. How are you? I'm doing great. Tell everybody about your experience with AIS. Well, I bought a new car a couple months ago. Well, new used car, 2010. And my insurance went through the roof from like $411 every six months to like over $1,000. I didn't know why. I called. They couldn't tell me. I have an excellent driving record, no accidents, no tickets. And so I immediately called AIS because I actually found my previous insurance through them, and they saved me money then. So I'm like, they'll save me money again. That was it. And they did. They found me a policy for $522 every six months. I'm now saving $518 every six months and over $1,000 a year. That is awesome. If you would like to be just like Nightscreen, give AIS a call, 1-800-777-4AIS.
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Well, we've got a lot of slowing in different areas. Woo, it's getting pretty tough on the 5. Looks like the 5 northbound from 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard, all the way down as you head into Chula Vista to 8th Street. It's between 9 and 22 miles an hour. An accident on the 94 westbound of the 805 North connector. There's no injuries. A big backup behind that, though. The 94 west from A Street all the way down. I mean, it really goes down towards Lemon Grove to College Avenue. You're looking at 32. miles an hour. This report, it's also brought to you by Del Taco. It's Thursday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Coming now, three chicken soft tacos, just 209. That's three chicken soft tacos, 209 every Thursday from 3 to 11 at particular restaurants. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Are you kidding? It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. On FM 94.9. Hi, Jay Bird. What's going on in sports? This is all kinds of stuff. Mikey's back. Go ahead, my friend. Oh, me? Okay. Well, this was a pretty sad story out of Egypt. There was a massive soccer riot.
79 people dead in this soccer riot. It was Cairo's Al-Hali team against Al-Masri of Port Said. But they said they don't know what caused the riot. They don't know if it was because of the game or just because of the political unrest and the political strife that's going on over there. But 79 people have died in this crazy, crazy thing. Two more quick stories. The Aztecs did get a win last night. I said it again. The Aztecs did get a win last night, 58-56, over last place Boise State at Viejas Arena. And famous boxing trainer Angelo Dundee has passed away. This guy trained everybody, man, including Muhammad Ali. Yeah. Crocodile Dundee's brother. You know, sometimes. This is M1 Taylor from Escondido. Are you there, Taylor? Yes, sir. Okay, so before we went to break, Taylor said that his wife, it was your wife, you guys went to a dinner at whose house? Well, it was a friend of mine who they were vacationing for Thanksgiving in La Jolla. So it's a little bit anticlimactic, but the point of the story is that women can have a list, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to pull the trigger when they have the opportunity of whatever it may be. Paul Walker.
Was it the house? Paul Walker's at the house. My buddy gives me the heads up because, you know, you don't want to just have your best friend walk into his place. And, hey, there's a major celebrity. So I hang up the phone and say, hey, babe, guess what? You know who's on the top of your list of, you know, any kind of exception I'll make? I said, Paul Walker's going to be there. And immediately she just clammed up. And she completely refused to even leave the house on Thanksgiving if she thought I was going to drive her over there. And she just got freaked out. And it's just been a fun story. So the guy that was on the top of her list, she would be too nervous to even be around him. She would be too nervous. And I mean, she's foxy. She is stone cold fox. And, you know, I had no doubt in my mind that he would have thought she was attractive. Right. OK, with any kind of flirtation, he's on he's on your list, babe. You know, you know, let's let's at least go meet him. Would you have let him kiss her? I would have, I know there would have been some hugs, like some stars. Again, would you have let him kiss her? Like a passionate kiss? Well, if he said, I would like to give your wife a kiss on the mouth. On the mouth. And there's so many variations of duration and intensity. But, you know, I might let there be like a little goodbye. You know, it was awesome meeting you.
Take a little deep breath of his man musk. He would get it right. The guy would get it right in the mouth if he ever said that. I know who she's coming home with. Great. Great. I know who she's not kissing, too. Paul freaking Walker. She's coming home with a kid. I think most females would clam up like his wife. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah, we'll never know. Guys would not. Guys would not clam up. My wife should clam her up. She had this major crush on Taylor Hawkins, who's the drummer for the Foo Fighters. Major. And we walk in a gas station one time after South by Southwest. Guess who's standing there? Taylor freaking Hawkins. Jamie walks out of the bathroom. And I, of course, me, I was like, hey, how you doing? Love your stuff. Go, hey, babe, Taylor Hawkins. Her eyes filled up with tears. She started crying. She was a 35, 36-year-old woman. Wow. I started crying like a little teenager. Wow. It was awesome. What did he do? He goes, hi, how you doing? He was buying Pepto-Bismol and Imodium AD. The guy was on the bus, the tour bus, real good, just jammed up. Oh, wow. Or maybe not jammed up. No. The other opposite. Oh, poor guy. Little does he know you were telling this story on the air. Right. Sorry, Taylor. I hope you didn't talk to him about it. I did not.
Hey, I noticed you're buying some modium there and some petso. A little trouble? Yeah. You having some squirties? Yeah. Well, there you go. Do I have a, what do you call it? Yes, I do. Oh, February 17th. Friday, February 17th. Our girl L.O.B. dancing on stage. And she's going to be up there with 10 girls doing a pussycat doll deal. It's going to be fantastic, and we want all M1s to come down and join us. It's going to be a party, and there's going to be a lot of people. So get there early, 530 to 9 a.m. Get there early. Oh, breakfast burritos and also mimosas. Bloody Marys. And Bloody Marys. For sale. You got to purchase those. What is that for sale? You mean you have to purchase them. Okay. None for you. All right. I can't do it. You know that. Yeah. The House has just passed a bill that will ban welfare funds from being used on strip clubs, casinos, and booze. Now, this is in response to reports that people had been using their welfare checks inappropriately. Now, what I want to know is, how did they know?
And if anybody is listening that knows, how would they know what you were doing? Give us a call. 570. Debit card thingy that they give you. Is it a debit card? It's something like a debit card. That's food stamps. I've seen that happen. I've seen people use the food stamp deal. But I don't know about like if you get a welfare check and then you can just go cash it and do whatever you want with it. Yeah, I guess technically at a casino and a strip club. And what was the other one? Alcohol. Ah. Yeah. Well, I mean, both of those places, they sell, you know, food and beverage. Seems pretty obvious. Seems pretty obvious. It does seem obvious. And it seems like vices don't seem like they would be cool. I saw a guy, and he was going through, and he was paying with food stamps for his groceries. And then he had a whole thing of beer and everything else, and he used cash to pay for all the beer and alcohol afterwards. Really? Yeah. It's like, oh, couldn't you use your cash for the food? Yeah. You know, you shouldn't be doing that. And there should be limitations to what you're able to do. Let's see. M1 Leilani is on the line in San Diego. Are you there? I am. You're actually a welfare worker. I am. I am. Forgive me. I'm very sick right now. But you can actually look at the location at which the EBT card was used. Okay. It was a debit card.
Do you see that in your line of work, that people are using it at places they shouldn't be? Yes. Wow. Wow. You can actually look at the regulations online, I'm sure. And they don't get in trouble? There's ways that it is handled. There's also certain regulations regarding cash aid and food stamps. Man, that is fun. And I hope I don't get in trouble for this. Yeah. There was a big story. Do you guys remember when Katrina hit and the FEMA trailers were down in New Orleans? Right. There was a huge story at that time about people taking FEMA money and they were going to Neiman Marcus and they were buying Louis Vuitton purses. Do you remember that? And people were outraged. Yeah. Obviously, they were outraged. Yes. Well, of course. You can't do that. Well, you can. Maybe you can, but should you? Yeah. You shouldn't. Let's see. M1 Gary has details on it as well. We lost him. But basically, it's a card. That's how they know. It's a debit card. And it goes without saying, that's not the spirit of the money. The spirit of the money is to put a roof over your head and feed your family. Yeah. Well, I used to, in college, you could, if you had a meal plan, like my parents paid for my meal plan, and you could take it off campus at certain places. And I found the loopholes.
to certain places that also served alcohol. Now, check this out. Why does it seem like a college kid I would give a break to? Because it's your parents' money and not taxpayers' money? That's true. That's why. As a father, I would light you up, though. Oh, my parents would have killed me. They would have been like, well, now you pay for your own meal plan. Oh, dude. Oh, yeah. If it had been my parents, they would have been somehow keeping track. It would have gone broke. Yeah, well, the thing is, I had priorities then. I wouldn't have just bought a bunch of... Wouldn't you have? Well, they put a limit, you know. Yeah. It's kind of like... You can only spend so much a day, Mike. Yeah, is that all you can eat? No. And you can only eat so much bread, Mike. Yeah. I think six pieces is enough. It's not a burrito bar. Gosh darn, the burrito bar gets you. You can't put Mike in a burrito bar. You know what's going to happen? Yeah, you're going to lose money. Yeah, you're going to lose money. Listen, I was thinking about opening an all-you-can-eat burrito bar here in San Diego, but I knew Mike lives here. And I knew, we'll go out of business. You got an A in cafeteria. Don't you mean lunch? Nope, just cafeteria. All encompassing. All encompassing. Mike's one of the only boys I know who took a cafeteria. Majored in it. You wrote your thesis on cafeteria.
PhD. PhD. Clearly. Hey, Dr. Esparza, tell us about cafeteria class. What was, hey, first, okay, legitimate question. Legitimate. First semester cafeteria class. Toughest or the hardest? The easiest. The easiest. You tell me. M1 Caesar from San Diego, you there? Yes, I am. Hey, Mikey, how are you? Good, man. You work at Saquon? I used to work at the Kwan Casino about a couple years ago. And I would see people cash their welfare checks and use it on slot machines. That's sad, man. That's sad. And they would get so upset with us when they would lose everything. They were mad at you? Yeah. They were mad at us. What are they mad at you for? Taking their money. Because they lost. Because they lost. They're mad at themselves. And it was sad because some people, even the rent money they would use. Oh, dude, that is brutal. You can't do that. Well, you can, but like Wood said, bad idea. You have a problem. M1 Dodgeball from San Diego. Hey, what's up, guys? Love you guys. Love everybody, especially Jay. But I have an EBT card. Especially Jay, by the way. Especially Jay.
But, you know, I mean, I have an EBT card and I have I have four kids and I have three of them are from a previous relationship where the mother does nothing, does nothing, provides nothing. So I have to provide everything. I have full custody, but I need a little bit of help because my wife isn't working right now. Sure. So I use my EBT card for nothing except groceries and only groceries. But if I want to grab a little bottle of wine for like five, ten dollars. Yeah, I don't have a problem with that. I don't have a problem with that at all. I don't have a problem with that. Yeah, he's right. The only one that was actually looking at you sideways was your boy today. Yeah, the one that you said was your favorite. Yeah, your favorite one. He was the only one. Now, wait a minute. Now, wouldn't this bug you, though? Wouldn't it bug you if he said he was buying smokes? No. That would bother me. Wouldn't bother me. No. It doesn't bother me. A guy wants to have a glass of wine with dinner, fine. But a guy wants Marlboro Lights. Okay, so. I have a question for you, Dodgeball. Yes. Just like there is an example that we will say, oh, yeah, that doesn't bother us. Would it bother you if people were taking that EBT card and buying purses and, you know, fancy clothes? Oh, absolutely. Right. That's not what it's for. Right. I'm cool with. I could end up losing it because somebody else.
It's misusing. Exactly, exactly. I have to have groceries, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think the misuse is what we're talking about. Yeah, abuse is what I'm talking about. Abuse. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. M1, Whoopi from Bird Rock. Good morning, guys. Good morning, Whoop. The card itself, there are two options on a card. There's a cash option and a food stamps option. And so when you purchase groceries, you're not allowed to purchase. like alcohol or anything on the food stamp side. They don't really monitor that as much. But on the cash side, it's just like a regular debit card. And you can use that for anything except alcohol. But what's happening is, and I've seen this firsthand, especially in D.C., at strip clubs, as long as you buy one of those individual card scanners and set it up where there's like an EBT cash option. you can use that to tip the strippers. Wow. No way. Yes, yes. So you go in there, you know, I don't know if any of you have been to a male strip review in D.C. Well, several. Yeah. Several, yeah. Well, Woods used to work at a gay club called the Mashed Potato Club. Gay friendly. He actually ran the cards. As I hear, the tube flute is a password to get into certain things. That is a true statement. Tube flute.
Yeah, when you go in, the guys will do their dance, and you know how women will throw money and put this money in the G-string. Oh, yeah. Women will have their cards, and so after he's done doing his dance, he'll come back, but they do the walkthrough. Oh, my God. They'll scan the card and type in their code. Oh, my God. They give their tip that way, and then they'll get allotted, like the owners of the club or whatever, they'll allot them the funds. Whoopi, what do you think of that? I have a problem with that. Of course. I have a problem with that because it's one thing when you're in a position where you're on that kind of assistance. If you're going out, you know, to get out and have a good time, you shouldn't be using that card for that because that's not what it's for. Right. That's for your survival. And, you know, yeah, I know times are tough. And, you know, one definition of survival might include survival, but not necessarily. And that's the deal. Somebody can't go, hey, listen. Times are tough right now, and I need a good lap dance. I need some dong. I need dong. I gotta see some dong. Things are hard. Wine, you can justify. Lap dance, lots of much. I can't even, I can't, I don't even know if I can justify wine on it. Oh, come on. You're having a glass of wine with the, you made, you made a little spaghetti. You made a bus. You made a spaghetti. Yeah, but the purpose, but see, there's some people on assistance.
have substance abuse problems. Right. Yeah, that's true. If you give them the cash, then they're going to do that. So you have to, there's a line. Now, cigarettes, that's a different story. You know, you got to buy smokes or whatever. Yeah. But the alcohol, I'm okay with, you know, them saying, no, you can't do alcohol. But the purses, extreme stuff like that. But also with that cash option, if it's providing rent or clothes for, you know, the families and the kids. then that's one thing. It's the level of which is what you're buying. Do you need that Michael Kors purse? If you need it that bad, then you're going to have to wait for it to purchase it on your own. Right. And maybe you, you know, go to Target and get a different purse. Sure, yeah. You're in a better financial situation to do so. Hey, Wub, thanks. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Bye, Wub. Bye. Bye, guys. Stay juggy. Hey, Uncle Mikey. Imagine if you could have bought alcohol back in the day, bro. Yeah, imagine. Why couldn't you? No, I mean if he could have bought it on one of those cards because when he didn't have any money, he would have been getting Belvedere, Grey Goose, Smirnoff. I know. All the stuff. I get it. The whole thing.
Captain Morgan. Here's the thing that would get me, though. No offense to M1 Dodgeball, Mr. Dodgeball. If you were to add all that up, $5 from this person, $5 from that person, all this, and if you had a breakdown of how much of those dollars were spent on alcohol, I might be like, oh, my gosh. That's all supposed to be for necessities. And it adds up when everybody's getting a $5 bottle of wine here and there. I think it's what you said, Ella B. It's that we're, it's our tab. It's the taxpayer's tab. And that's what I think. Yay. I'll even, I'll go you one better. I'll say, hey, you get 20 bucks a month, do whatever you want with. I got no beef with that. You throw it on there, that's your, that's your freebie money. Really? I got no problem with that. Everybody's inside. What if you, yourself, like there's some times where I like, I got to cut myself off from getting stuff. Yeah. It's like, no, I can't even always afford a $5 bottle of wine. Yeah. I mean, you know, you sacrifice in other areas to do other things. So, you know, it's a vicious circle. I'm glad I'm not. I don't have to. I'm not there. I remember buying.
When I couldn't afford food, I remember buying sandwiches at a Chevron because I had a Chevron card. And I was just praying that Chevron card would work. Absolutely. I was just praying it would work and that I hadn't like not paid the bill for so long. But they hadn't shut it off yet. Dude, in college, we used to leave our doors unlocked so we could go into each other's places. And if I didn't have food, I'd go to my neighbor's house and grab like cans of chicken and make chicken salad. Wait a minute. You're saying that you. think that they left the door open for you to come in. No, we did. We agreed. Our places were always open. Hey, what's mine is yours. It was kind of that. Really? Yeah, and there were times when I would get paid, and I'd go buy a ton of groceries, and I'd come home, and some of my stuff was gone. And I'd be like, damn it! You ate my ding-dongs. Community food. No, we'd lock it up. We'd lock down. Oh, yeah. Community food. Everything was community. Yeah, that doesn't sound like that would get abused at all. A lot of the frat houses that I went to, went to, and I mean, I went to a lot of proud houses. They had locks on their fridges. Chains. Chains and locks. It seems like they would probably have to. Because they would have parties, and they'd be like, we don't want people to steal our pickles. Steal our pickles. People like Jay. Stuffing their pockets with stuffed sandwiches. It's not a sandwich. It's a very thin pencil sandwich. Yes. It's a hot dog. Like a pipe clean. A pipe clean. It's an old hot dog. A foot long. Pumps when you cook it. Pumps when you cook it. Pumps when you cook it back.
It's the 10 worst bottleneck areas in our county. I'm going to tell you where they are now. Some are getting better. Some are getting worse. And for some of them, there is no help in sight. Sorry. We'll tell you about them next. Supported by our good friends at AIS Insurance. What's up there, Tootsie Roll? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out, like tomorrow night. You can go see Mute Math at 4th and B. Dr. Dog played the belly up next Tuesday, the 7th. The FM 94.9 Young, the Giant show is already sold out, but you can see the Frayed House of Blues on the 16th.
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At Mission Federal Credit Union, your success is our bottom line. For great rates, easy access, and a better banking experience, call us, stop by, or visit missionfed.com today. Well, lots of slowing. You've got a big delay here in La Mesa on the 8 westbound from Fairmont Avenue, Mission Gorge Road, all the way down to Jackson Drive, even past that as you head into La Mesa. I'm going to stretch you all the way over here to the 125 southbound. It's about 11 to 22 miles an hour. Heading towards Lemon Grove, you've got a backup on the 94 westbound Federal Boulevard. the 125 south that's 27 miles an hour and there was an accident on the 15 um the 15 southbound it looks like uh there was a real problem here at camino del rio south that's got things backed up this report brought to you by del taco it's thursday taco night at del taco coming now three chicken soft tacos just 209 three chicken soft tacos 209 every thursday from 3 to 11 at participating del taco restaurants i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 good morning and now back to the mikey show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Woods. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jay. No, I didn't cry. Come on, man. On FM 94.9. It's a good one. Mikey's show will be broadcasting live from the House of Blues on Friday, February 17th. And our girl, L.O.B., will be on stage with 10 beautiful...
San Diegans, 10 beautiful M1s, and they'll be doing a pussycat doll routine together. We have rehearsal tonight. We'll probably have like a pillow fight afterwards. Holy cow. Can Jay and I come? No. Girls only. I need to be there, I think. It's a girls only event to judge. No boys allowed. Hands on training. Hands on training. It's training, honey. Okay. So these are the worst areas for traffic in San Diego. And a lot of people listening right now are going to go, oh, yeah, because they travel these routes. And some of them, sad to say, it ain't getting better for you. The five just below Birmingham Drive. Now, this is all in the UT, okay? What's interesting about this particular one is there's no reason for it. None.
That happens every day. Is it that little turn? Yeah, that's it. Now, here's what they say today in the UT. They said there is no physical reason for this slowdown. Makes me crazy. It's called stupidity. It says there is no squeeze, there is no sharp curve, just a downhill with a lot of cars in front of you. And it's true. There's no reason for it. People see the hill, and then all of a sudden they see a bunch of cars instead of the, like, immediate, you know, four or five cars that were in front of them. And they're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. The next one, the next two, actually, are the same one, but it's just northbound and southbound. The 163 at Robinson Avenue, Balboa Park. You can imagine where it is. If you're headed towards San Diego, it's the one right after Washington. And it does. And, you know, I was thinking about it. And that area of the 163 is so beautiful that they can't touch it. You know, they obviously can't touch it. But it is not built for how much they're putting through it. Right.
It's kind of like your shirts, Mac. 163 in general is not engineered very well. Got a lot of quick turns where people have to get on at the same time they have to get off. Yep. The 805 at Sorrento Valley. Oh. Yeah. Now, this one's getting better. This one's getting better. In fact, last year when they did this, it was number four. But they were actually improving. You see their construction. Yeah. Construction going on over there. This one is a whip. If you're trying to get from the 5 around Del Mar over to the 15, you got to take Interstate 56. It's the one that cuts through. For almost no apparent reason, at Carmel Country Road. Yep, exactly where that is. It's like a parking lot. You could basically get out of your car and have a cigarette in the time that it takes. for that thing to crawl through there. UT says, no relief ahead. Oh, man. Took them forever to get that freeway through. Mm-hmm. Number five, there is relief. It's the five at Nobel Drive, southbound, headed into San Diego in the afternoon. Right now, it is a whip. Yeah. But they're working on that.
La Jolla Village Drive Cloverleaf, that's going to help. Yeah. It's going to help big time. It's my number one in the world thing that I hate the most without question. Is? Traffic. Traffic. I dislike murder first. I like traffic. I hate traffic more than I hate murder. Traffic is. It's a true story. Listen. Because I'm liable to murder. Anything that makes me late, it makes me crazy. It makes me insane. Have you ever fantasized that you had a helicopter? Oh, yeah. I fantasize that I can hit a button in my car and it goes, and I just fly over the traffic. That's cool because I thought that I was a complete weirdo. No, you're not. I want to just leave my car. Get out. Falling down. Yeah, just get up and leave the car. And just walk. Just be like, F this. Yeah. Number four is in the morning, southbound 15 at 9th Avenue, Esco. Now, here's the thing. On the west side, it's Auto Parkway. On the east side, it's 9th Avenue. That's what we're talking about. But they're working on that, and that's going to get better. The next one's not. The 5 at Lomas Santa Fe Road is a whip. Northbound in the afternoon. Now, it kind of tapered off last year. It was getting a little bit better. But the start of the I-5 expansion is...
a few years away from getting to that point. Perfect. The next one, they also say, sorry, no relief in sight. 805 at Claremont Mesa Boulevard, northbound, in the morning. Yeah. I don't know. We're here. Yeah, we're here. We're here. The morning stuff, I don't ever see afternoon very rarely. Well, we're helping you out in the morning. Yeah. Talking you through it. And then the number one. This is the number one worst bottlenecked place. It's in North County. It's on the 78, and it's at Barham Drive. Now, if you're leaving San Marcos or whatever, you're heading north, or excuse me, you're headed east, Barham Drive, it goes, and it just comes to a standstill. But they're spending $40 million on a construction project that should make that thing start the... To move. But they say that bottlenecks appear there 98% of work days. That's insanity. 98% of work days. Well, it could be worse, man. We could live in Los Angeles, California. Which is, you go insane. Or Washington, D.C. Or D.C. Houston's like that now, too. Where's Houston? Yeah, where is Houston? Is that like in Oregon or something? Houston, Texas. Now, there can even be traffic on the 405.
On a Sunday morning at 1 a.m. Dude, it does not matter. If you're on the 101, you're like, oh, my God. We were driving on the 101. There was a guy in his car. He's passed out in the middle of the 101. And that's a true story. Really? It took us an hour and a half to go nine miles in Los Angeles. That's a beating. Our sister station's truck went up in flames yesterday. Sorry, guys. KSON truck sucks. Scary. Made news. It was in the UT. Was Ciro on the news? Yeah, he's our promotion guy. And I believe he was driving the truck. Good news for L.O.B. is that his abs made it. Good news for Ciro and his girlfriend. Right. And everyone that loves him. And girls that think that he's cute. I'm just glad that he's okay. I mean, if he was ugly, I'd still be glad he's okay. Yeah, but not as bad. Not as, probably. If it were Mike or I, you would care less than if it was zero. That's true. The first question out of your mouth wouldn't be, but did his abs make it? Right. Is his face disfigured? Fire station was only a block away, so everything was cool. Gosh, that is scary. He's a hero. An expensive vehicle, too, man. Wow.
It is. Wow. Jay, just trying to get him fired. Blaming zero. Fired. He shouldn't smoke in the vehicle, I guess. I don't think he was smoking in the vehicle. I think it was actually. Why is he starting fires in the vehicle? He's not warm. He's got a heater. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't smoke. Here's the most desirable woman. Besides L.O.B.? That's right. Askmen.com. Askmen. Askmen? Askmen? Men. I thought you said Askmen. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola. Now in black, white, and purple. The perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple.
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I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons boots to go out with a tall girl. And even then I'd be shorter. Woods. And my back is not fat. My stomach is. Lauren. I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. And Jay. I never said I could do a cold read. I said I could act. I'm Nectar. On FM 94.9. About the Orleans. Orleans. Yeah, it's good. Not New Orleans. No, no. Original. Hey, Phil, the thing is, none of us are from New Orleans. Yeah, that doesn't matter. It's catchy, you know? Orleans. It evokes, you know, thoughts of boobs and beads. We'll drop the new and it's like we've been here all along. Yeah, we're just Orleans. None of us are. Right, but we're as cool as New Orleans. You're from Akron. Yeah, and that's why I was saying, you know, I mean. Well, it's got a better ring to it than Akron. I'm from Scranton. What do you want to call the band, Scranton? I don't, you know, but I don't want to call us. Look, it's Orleans, and you're either in or you're out. I'm in, but. Shirts are made. Shirts are made. True. Oh, I know. I'm looking at them, and they say Orleans on them, and I think, you know, our.
Maybe the fans are going to be confused. You got a better idea? Yeah, they can suck it, you know. Well, bread's taken, so we can't. Bread is taken. Bachman-Turner Overdrive is taken. What was that about? Bachman-Turner. Joe Bachman. Yes. Bill Turner. Bill Turner. And Josh Overdrive. Melissa Overdrive. Melissa Overdrive. Let's see. I pretty much got to everything today, which is good news. Big boobs, otherwise known as San Onofre. Mm-hmm. I thought you were talking about yourself and Woods. You're dead. I can't even get an insult out. I know. He's going to get killed. I've got to be good. A tiny amount of radiation escaped. But they're saying... You're okay. It's fine. You're okay. Yeah. Sure. Sure we are. Just like the body scanners at the airport. Everyone just...
Just like asbestos was okay. His third arm. Asbestos was real good. Okay, so these were AskMen.com. AskMen.com. No. Most Desirable Women. Number 10. Candice Swainpole. She did make it. Yes. Candice Swainpole from Victoria's Secret did make it. I mean, if you're a Victoria's Secret model, you should be on every list. That's as high as you can go. Yeah, you should be on every list. If you're a man, that's the top of the mountain. Number nine, Rihanna. No, I think she's pretty sexy, man. She's got the haircut that Kurt Warner's wife has. Oh, she does not. She has a different haircut all the time. I think she's pretty sexy. I'm out. Number eight, Kim Kardashian. I would. With prejudice. With extreme... Extreme prejudice. Yeah, I would. She's... Of course you would. Stunningly beautiful. I wouldn't date her, but... She tweeted a picture of herself in a bra yesterday. Oh, she did? Yes. Yes, I'm in. Well, the only reason you know that is because you follow her. No, no. Why do you follow her? I saw it on the news source. It's only for news. I saw it. Do not. I will be checking that out. She's loaded. Number seven. Oh, yeah.
Scarlett Johansson. Oh, yeah. Like baby's breath. Yes. She's like baby's breath. She's like angel kisses. Angel kisses, puppy paws. Actually, I think her breath smells really bad. Yeah, you know, it smells like spearmint. Peppermint candy. Yeah, peppermint candy. Cigarettes and old chocolate. You know, it smells like unicorn eyelashes. And grandma's armpit. Number six. Emma Stone. Don't know who it is. Oh, boy. She's a girl that's super bad. She's overrated. She was just in that crazy, stupid love movie. Yeah, she hosted Saturday Night Live not too long ago. She's got really big eyes and talks like those. She's red-headed. You'd like her. Yeah, that's true. She's got a voice like this. Like Sienna. Yep, Sienna. Number five, Nicki Minaj. Ooh, a trois. A trois? He's been a goldmine today. He always is, every day. Very subtle today. Yeah, very. Very subtle. A trois. Clever. Number four, Miranda Kerr. Who's that? From Sex and the City? She's a singer, I think. She's some sort of country singer. She's the redhead on Sex and the City. No, that's Miranda, whose name I don't know the last name. Miranda Kerr, anyone know? No. I'm pretty sure she's some sort of country singer. Number three, Rooney Mara. These are the year's most desirable women.
Don't know who Rooney. Yeah, maybe the guy that works at Ask Men. Miranda Kerr is desirable. She looks like a Victoria's Secret model. Yeah, she does. What does she do? Let me see. Hubba hubba. I don't recognize her. She's got an alien face to me. Oh, police. She's got alien eyes. Miranda Kerr. Greetings, people of Earth. Really? Yeah, doesn't she have alien eyes? Police. Greetings, Earthlings. Yeah, he says that when she says that. If by alien, you mean pretty, gorgeous. She's perfect. All right. You ready? Yes. Number two, Kate Upton, Sports Illustrated. Really? Wait. Oh, okay. Never mind. What did you think, Jonathan? Kate plus eight? I was thinking Kate Middleton. Yeah. Oh, no. I was like, what? She's skinny. Oh, she's good. And the number one most desirable woman is Sofia Vergara. Mm-hmm. Is that how you say it? Martina Scorsese. Yeah. Look at the fun bags on that horse helmet. Can't really expect anyone to pronounce her name right after that. No. It's the girl from Modern Family. Yeah. Martina Scorsese. She should talk less on that show. No, she shouldn't. She should scream less on that show. Martina Scorsese. My favorite. She does have a hard time saying Martin Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese.
L.O.V. I love when L.O.V. does that chick's voice. I break into it randomly. I'll just be hanging out and just be like, Marty Nescorces. It's brilliant. M1 Chris is on the line from Oceanside. What's going on? Hey, what's up, Mikey? Not too much. Adjusting to the time thing. I used to be able to call him between 9 and 10. Now I have to get up earlier. There you go. Thank you for doing it. Hey, I just wanted to say one thing. Going back to the first month when this started, I said the bromance was going strong. It's over? It's over. No, it's not. God, how quick you throw me under the bottom. Look at him. No, and LLB, I said, you know, what ray of sunlight fell upon Mikey to find her? Just golden. All you guys are awesome. Thank you, man. Keep on creeping. Keep on creeping. Keep on creeping on. Keep on creeping on. I'm making that shirt right now. Mikey. Yes. Do you want to hear real quick? It's just a funny dream I had, and this is no BS, it's a real dream. Yeah, okay. Other people's dreams are always interesting. No, it's not cable. It was Garrett. Did you hear what L.O.B. just said? Because there is a little truth to that.
She said sarcastically, because other people's dreams are always fascinating. Hey, tell me about your fantasy baseball team. All right, this better be good, Chris. This better be good. I think it was kind of good, but it throws all the way back. It was Garrett going, hey, as far as I need you to come down to my office. And it started about, you know. No way. Yeah, it was. I need to come down to my office. I want to run something up the flagpole and see what you think. That's our program director. We're going to change the show. It's the Jay Show. Oh, that is good. Go on. So you dreamt that, huh? The flock. I'm not making it up, dude. Seriously, I dream the show frequently. That's wild. You and me both, buddy. Yeah, it's kind of funny. That's too much. No, you can never tell people about your dreams. You can't. You can't tell them because... No, no, no. You can't do it. It's one of the last lines in, I just saw No Country for Old Men last night. And she says something to Tommy Lee Jones. She says something like, was it interesting? He's like, well, dreams are always interesting.
interesting to the parties involved. Look at that. That's it. My wife will roll over on a Sunday morning and go, I just had the craziest dreams and I'm like, that's great. That's great. Please don't. I gotta go. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. Thank you for the call though. I do appreciate it. I'm being serious. We do appreciate the call. Yes, we do love you Chris from Oceanside. I do. Identical Garrett. Diet soda has been linked to strokes and heart attacks. Told you. Oh, God. Yeah, he's been blogging about that. I mean, from the rooftop. Yes. Told you, yes. Because look at all these diet sodas in here. I can honestly say I've never seen any of us drink a diet soda in here. Yeah, well, clearly. I'm done. I gotta go. I know. I'm done. I know. 43% more likely.
If you're drinking them. We have a listener named M1 Diet Cokehead that drinks a lot of Diet Cokes today. I'm worried about her safety. That's right. Cut it out. Cut it out. People. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We will come back tomorrow morning at 5.30 and do it all over again. The Mikey shows up. Yeah. Financial media station. Setting the pace for a good day. It's 94 at 9. 94 minutes of conversation. Continuous commercial-free music every Monday through Friday at 9 a.m. Guaranteed. Supported by Think Blue San Diego. FM 94.9. It's about the music.