The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/04/11

0:05Welcome to the Mikey Show on a Friday with a live studio audience. Welcome. Get your Friday started with a little Trilolo. L.O.B. got each member of the Mikey Show a t-shirt. The one that she got from me was Trilolo. And I like it so much that I considered wearing it again today because it's clean. And I was like, that's dorky. So I didn't. You wore it Wednesday. I wore it. I did? Yeah. Tuesday. Wednesday, wasn't it? I don't know, but it was already washed and put back. I wouldn't have cared. It was Tuesday. As long as it's cleaning, wear it again. Yeah. You're allowed to have your favorites. Someone would have said, really, again? Yeah. Probably me. I wonder who someone would have been. Really, dude? First thing I said to Woods today was, oh, you're rolling with a salmon shirt today. Uh-huh. And he goes, you don't have to placate me, pal. It's pink. It's a pink shirt.

1:32He's secure. He's secure. I love pink. That's a nice color pink. Very pale. It's a capper to my super gay week that I've had. What are you going to do? Finish it off. It's very true. Okay. All right. Here we go. 570-1949 is the number. Text us 949mikey at gmail.com. This weekend is the Super Bowl, and it's going to be big. So we'll get into all of that stuff in just a little bit. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years old. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's the guy in the pink shirt across from me. Really? Oh, hey. Let's see. L.O.B., otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien, is sitting to my right. She had a gig last night at the Comedy Store. I did. And I've already received messages on my Facebook that you were awesome and that you killed it last night. Those people were liars. They're drunk, one of the two. Yeah, I guess so. LLB said she was terrible. I asked her first thing. LLB ever say she's terrible? Yes. I was not terrible. I was not great. And it was a sold-out crowd at the comedy store. It's a really good time to be not great. Oh, boy. You're too hard on yourself. You were great. Sienna is our news girl, and she is 25 years old. And she's got a husband named Todd. She's got a sister named Waverly, a sister named Avalon.

3:00Brother named Taylor. Brother named Taylor. And she's got a mom named Ansef. I do. Taylor's the only one that got the name that was kind of a typical name. She swears it was original back then. Yeah. That's her bit. That is her bit. My dad is Keith Richards. That's so great. It's true. Yeah. Jay is our producer. He is 47 years old. And our phone screener today is Chris. Movie plot hot potato is going to be fun today because we're going to be doing something called the Super Bowl. Cut. And here's how it works. We're going to flip a coin. All right? I'm not going to flip it because I can't flip a coin. Correct. It's a scientific fact. I do not know how to flip coins. I've never seen anyone flip a coin and it just goes straight up in the air and not turn or rotate at all and then comes straight down. You can do it. And then he does it again and it shoots off crazy. I hate flipping a coin.

3:56To me, it's like going to the bathroom in public. I didn't know this about you when we had you do it that one day. And I was looking at you like you were a unicorn in the forest. I felt bad for you. Have you never flipped a coin? Ridiculous. L.O.B. just saying she felt bad for me. Okay. No. I can sympathize. Maybe the loneliest place I've ever been. No, I can sympathize because it's kind of like if I haven't thrown a frisbee in a little while, I take it and it goes behind me and I'm like, what am I doing? I know how to throw a frisbee. I'm just panicking because people are looking at me. See? Hey, you did it. You did it. Only two rotations, but you still flipped it and caught it. He was just panicked. Good job. I wasn't ever there before when you messed this up. This is new news to me. Sienna, it went like... There it goes. He's back to normal. It's unbelievable. I don't know how to flip a coin. Anyway, so we'll flip a coin. If it's heads, it's girls. If it's tails, it's guys. That will play movie plot Hot Potato. Makes sense to me. The person that loses movie plot Hot Potato is going to do the Super Bowl cut. It's that wig right there.

5:08It's a bowl cut wig that we have in the studio. It's the most hideous bowl cut wig I've ever seen. It's hideous. It's really bad. And they have to wear it for the whole show. I hope it's Woods. Weird. You do it so funny. Yeah, you do. I've never even tried that thing on. I love it. I hate it. It's hysterical. The word of the day is tortilla. Weird. Really? Just call it food. Yeah. Word of the day is food. Why is that weird? It's just bread for you. Pan. Pan. Pan. Let's see. So when you hear me say the word tortilla between now and 10, you call her nine, you get a four-pack of SeaWorld Fun cards. That's worth $280. And you'll also get the pay-per-view for tomorrow's UFC 126. It could be any second. It's a tortilla. I mean, it could be literally any second. How do you stop yourself from saying it? That's not the kind of thing you can control. Good thing you're a pro. It's going to be a discipline. Good thing the word's not enchilada. Holy cow. I know better than to do that. Raise your hand in the room if you're single. Raise your hand in the room if you're single. Oh, yeah.

6:24All right, cool. The rest of the folks in the room are couples, but there's about six singles in the room right now. Here's the thing. We're doing a singles M1 Valentine's meet and greet, and it's happening a week from today. It's going to be at the East Village Tavern and Bowl downtown, and it's going on from 5 to 7. Happy hour prices, drink specials, the whole bit. Here's the cool thing. Anybody's invited. If you're a single person, we'll give you a wristband. And so if you're looking to meet like-minded M1s, you go out there and you look for a wristband and you go, hey, how are you doing? Wow. A lot of people have met through the Mikey show before, too, which is really cool, and gotten married. That's a true fact. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. If you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. And that is what makes you an M1. The food being catered and provided to all of you in here today is being brought to you by The Palm Restaurant. Oh, so good. Yeah.

7:32So good. Best lobster I've ever had. Ever. Ever. It's silence. That makes my mouth water. That's right. During the 28-hour show. It did. M1, Cindy from San Diego, you there? Yes, here I am. How are you? I'm trying to get out of bed, but it's too cold. Oh, wow. What's going on? And I'm tired because I didn't get home until midnight. You didn't? I was out supporting L.O.B. L.O.B., don't be so hard on yourself. Oh, wow. I was not out till midnight, for the record. You guys were out drinking till midnight, you and Cindy? Oh, my God. You didn't even sleep last night. L.O.B., you came straight from there to here? I'm just kind of a warrior like that. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Mikey gets very spun out when we don't get a full night's sleep. Cindy, what time did L.O.B. take the stage? No, she snuck out earlier than midnight. 11.15. Yeah. What time did she sneak out of there? She hung out there until probably about, like, what? 10.30ish? No! I think it was 8.45. No, she was there until about 11. What? No, Cindy! Cindy, hang up the phone, Mike. Hang up the phone! Hang up the phone! Lauren looks way too relaxed right now. She's rested. Cindy, what time did she hang out till? She did...

8:50Absolutely fantastic. She was nervous. L.O.B., what time did you take off? I left at 9. I don't care. I left at 9. Yeah, she did. That's what I got. She did so good. You were nervous. I was nervous. You were nervous. For good reason. She had a full house. It was a sold-out crowd. Oh, wow. She brought everybody in. Because let me tell you, did you tell him? You told him. That you went on the wrong night? Yeah. What? Cindy. You told him. No, you didn't tell them. I did not tell them. Cindy showed up on Wednesday night with three of her friends, ready to go. Three of my hot friends. Really? I'll have a girls' night out. Oh, God. I was not there. Oh, wow. Maybe she'd come into the studio, Cindy. Maybe bring your friends. We had a good time both nights. Both nights were great. She did great. Thank you. She's good. It's a milestone. You're great. She is good. You've got to build up that confidence, man. Thank you, Cindy. We appreciate it. Thank you very much. Have a great weekend. All right, you too. 5701949. Throwing her under the bus. I wasn't there until 11. I believe you. I believe Lauren. No. She left at 9. I left at 9. Wow. Look how rested she looks. She does. You can tell when she's been up late. That's right. What? Not really sure what that means, but all right. Remember that we were talking about how...

10:12Representative Gifford, her husband, was trying to make this tough choice. Mark Kelly. Mark Kelly. How do they have different names? That's weird. She kept her. She kept her name? Plebeian. Independent woman. Oh, boy. What? Don't get married. Well, I can't criticize. She got shot. So she's doing great, and her husband had to make this big decision. Right. Am I going to take my space shuttle trip or am I not? Well, he's supposed to be going on the space shuttle Endeavour in April. And this is the final voyage. This would be his fourth time up to space, but he's leading this mission. And so the decision is, well, his... In his mind, he's like, do I stay with my wife who was shot a month ago? She's doing a lot better. She's been in rehab for two weeks. She's out of the hospital. You know, she's showing signs of improvement every day. Or do I do what I love and have worked my entire life for and go back in the space shuttle and lead this thing up to space? Yeah. Loaded commentary. What do you mean loaded?

11:13I know I want him to go to space. Me too. I do too. But he makes his decision today in a press conference later on. But everyone is saying he's going to go up. Yeah. Well, there's a couple of reasons why. One is the guy that's supposed to be filling in for him. who's been like, you know, the substitute, is not scheduled to be at this press conference. And if he was going to be substituting for him and taking his position, you would think he would be at the press conference. And this is the guy that's going up for me. He's going to go, I'm going, but I'm taking her with me. No, he's going to say, this is what you would want me to do. Yeah, if she could talk. If she could talk, this is what she would say. She squeezed my hand and she said, I want you to go. I know because she does Morse code with her hand. So it's all good. What a D. I'm not sure if she can talk. I've read different things, but no one's really been like, oh, she said this to me. But she's gotten up and she's taken steps and she's massaging her husband's neck all the time. Happy birthday, Mark.

12:23Was doing breakdancing last night. That's right. Popping and locking. I'm sure she doesn't have a long road ahead of her. No. She is a piece of cake. We'll still be there when he gets back after seven days. If the Kings of Leon were on that space shuttle. Oh, I'd be all the way on board. Doctors said they guarantee 100% recovery. Yeah, she'd be fine. M1 Veronica from Escondido. My love. Little angel. That's right. Thank you so much. Oh, you're welcome. First of all, before anything, thank you for making Rice Krispie Treats. I felt so bad for her. I know. Just out of nowhere on the air yesterday, Mike's like, no, it sounds good. Rice Krispie Treats. These are the best Rice Krispie Treats I've ever had. They're so good. They're flawless. I feel moist. I feel bad. I feel bad, Veronica, that I guilted you into that. Don't feel bad. It was worth it. Don't feel bad. Seriously, I had all the stuff at home. Kind of sad. I went home and made him on lunch. That's awesome. She said her boss heard her talking about it. I'm like, because we were telling her to stay home. I was like, oh gosh, hopefully your boss doesn't listen. She's like, actually, my boss was listening. I still wouldn't have been able to come in today. They are so good.

13:47Elleby, you did a fantastic job last night. Oh, thank you. And I'm going to stand up for her. She did leave about nine. That's good. Good for you. Nine o'clock. Good for you. Big round of applause for nine o'clock. Not bad. That's right. Thank you, Veronica. You're the best. Have a good day. Love you so much. Let's see. First impressions of the Verizon iPhone. Why? They're out? It will be out on February 10th. But they've been tested. Well, Verizon fans are going to just love this. They took the Verizon iPhone to a bunch of cities, including San Francisco and New York, which are the infamous cities for having the worst reception. They first tested the AT&T iPhone, dropped the call four times in 30 minutes of driving. Then they did the same thing with the Verizon, and it never dropped. Oh, wow. Victorious. I can't wait to get back to San Francisco with my new iPhone. I cannot wait. Your pink shirt was. And my pink shirt. That's a pearl snap. It's basically the same thing. The phone is the same body. It has the all glass and metal. They're same high resolution screen, same battery life, same camera on the back, same low resolution camera on the front. The price is about the same, but it says the single new feature on Verizon's iPhone is...

15:05Personal hotspot, which is where the iPhone becomes a Wi-Fi base station. You can have up to five laptops, iPods, touches, or other gadgets to get online. Oh, wow. And you have to pay extra monthly to do that. For that? Yeah, because I was... Why would you want... So that you could take your laptop... So you could use it as kind of a little modem. So now you have your cell phone in your purse, and you're in Starbucks. And so you can take your laptop with you, and you... Your laptop would connect to your phone as an internet source. Wouldn't your laptop already have wireless just like your phone would? But you'd have to pay, possibly. Say you're in an airport or something like that. Don't you have to pay for the phone to get it? You'd have to pay for it, but you could have it basically anywhere that the phone can pick up. It would just be like a monthly fee. On the beach, at the park. That's good. Yeah. That's real good. Well, there's no high-speed signal at the... Oh, I get what you... Okay, it just made sense to me. Yeah. It just made sense to me. I saw that. Anywhere. Now you take your laptop with you to the moon, and as long as the moon has 3G signal... Yeah, as long as your wife wasn't just shot... In the head. In the head. And you went on the space shuttle. He could still go on the space shuttle. As long as she's doing better. Yeah, but technically, if space had a 3G signal, you could be in the space shuttle.

16:28using your laptop and your phone acting as the motor. Technically. Technically. So this phone, the Verizon's iPhone, is going to be on the network February 10th, which means you could get it for your significant other for Valentine's Day. Oh, wow. And if you're a valued Verizon customer, you probably got the email that you can pre-order. I did not. But if you're the type of person that... procrastinates and or over... Deal shops. Deal shops and analyzes and waits and then analyzes more. Does more research. Then you don't get it. Yeah, sign me up for that. And that would be our very own Lauren O'Brien. No, I was all ready to pull the trigger yesterday. Who talked you out of it? My wallet was down in the car. I thought that I have one on file because I pay my bill every month and it just takes the one I have on file. So I thought they were going to be able to use that. And then they told me to enter my visa number. How's your new car? I don't have one yet. You know I Woods asked if she has a new car. Because it's February. And sometime. That's a lot to consider. Sometime last year. This is November. Yeah. She said she was getting a new car. She, me, me.

17:39Ellaby and Mike stood downstairs for 10 minutes and she was like, you guys are going to look like idiots. The next time you see me, I will be in a new car. Same car. Well, there's a lot that goes into it. I didn't know that I was going to take it to get an estimate and that the repairs were going to be more than the car is worth. Yeah. So now I'm at a standstill. I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. Wow. I love it. Let's see. This is M1's Sean from San Diego. Hi, Sean. How's it going, guys? Good. So, for two gigs. That's not bad, right? No, it's pretty good. And, I mean, it gives you your own, you know, like, basically your own, like, wireless modem anywhere your phone gets serviced. That's pretty solid. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. There's a lot of differences in the phone, too, like the whole antenna thing. Like, we made Apple add a second antenna to the phone. Wow. Actually work. It's legit. Well, don't say. So it'll actually work because I have the AT&T version. And it works. It works fine. It doesn't. Fine. I don't have a bumper on it either. You don't? No. Maybe that's why you drop me so much when I'm talking to you at your house. It drops a lot. And it's like, I can't hear you a lot of times. You sound like you're in a box. Yes. A lot of times. That's exactly it.

18:58I don't. You sound great. They're making you feel bad, Mike. Don't listen to it. Don't listen to it. I promise. It's really garbled sometimes. It is. It's like blah, blah, blah. I've never heard that. I've never heard it either. You don't talk on the phone to him at home. I do. I do, actually. But if you guys were thinking about possibly ordering it, I got an email last night, I think around 5 o'clock, that said the pre-orders were already gone. The inventory was already gone. Oh. Lose you lose. Lose you lose, kid. I'm checking back, though, because we're probably going to be getting daily orders from Apple. It's weird, because LLB didn't anticipate any kind of rush on that thing. I thought I was privy, because I was a valued customer. Woods didn't get the email. I didn't get the email, and I've been there forever. Maybe when you're a valued customer that gets a special email, you take advantage of it. I was, Mike. I was on here on the computer. How come you didn't go home and do it? Because when I went... I don't get internet on this computer. Why didn't you use your new iPhone to use that as a modem? I don't have the iPhone. Dang it. Fine. Shawnee, save me one. Thank you, Shawnee. Save me one. Yeah, right, man. I save somebody when I lose my job. Come on. Come on. Fellow tipsy crows, I love you too. I'll see you Sunday. All right, man. Thank you. That's somebody from Woods' baseball team. He's also a manager at Verizon. Guy knows his stuff real good. Real good. Real good. Guy hits like a madman too.

20:21Keep that pink shirt on and keep talking about guys. Yep. Hits like a madman. I'd say kisses like a madman. I said he hits like a madman. That was next. He's the best kisser. Wow. National City teachers were supposed to strike today, and guess what? They don't have to. Okay, this is really good news. This is something that's been going on since February. A dispute. Between 10 elementary schools in national cities, almost 400 teachers, over 1,000 students involved. And today was going to be the day that they were going to strike due to budget reasons and wanting more money, you know, the usual stuff. And it was going to be San Diego County's first teacher strike in 15 years. But according to Twitter early this morning from the National City Elementary Teachers Association, they said agreement reach strike averted teachers in classrooms Friday morning. There you go. So they don't need to do it. Those kids are like, damn it. Yeah, they've got to go to school. They're going to pretend they didn't hear it. I know. Oh, I didn't know. I didn't get to email. My parents never got that thing that you called and sent it. So Monday is going to be a special day here on the Mikey Show. Sienna and Lauren O'Brien and Woods and Jay and phone screener Will will all be here.

21:42Doing the regular thing. And filling in for me will be our program director, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. All the way from Philly. Maybe Seattle. I don't know. He is very excited. And he can't wait. And I'm sure you guys will lead him down the right path. Absolutely. Woods already has some tricks up his sleeve. Of course he does. It's interesting he hasn't told me. You know what it is. I do not. I played it for you in the car. What I'm going to do. An idea that I'm going to do. It's just a little surprise for him. Okay. You know what I'm talking about. I think so. You do. Now, my wife is having a procedure done for her kidney stones. So I won't be here. But Garrett will. Will you be listening? Of course. Of course. Will you call in? No. Why? Leave it alone. Come on. Leave it alone. You know what I mean? You guys should do your thing. Call in. I call in when I'm not here. Me too. What am I going to say? What's up, gang? I'm in the waiting room. He can call if he wants to, but there's a lot going on that day, so let him do his thing. Yeah. But that's not why he doesn't want to call. That's not why he doesn't want to call. He doesn't want to throw us off. I want you guys to get into a groove, you know, with Garrett. It's a good thing, I think. Woods hates my bits. He hates my...

23:04He hates rules. I don't hate rules. You don't like my rules. I love your rules. Your rules would be different. My rules would be different? Yeah. If what? If it was Mikey Land or if it was Woods Land. Rules would be a little bit different. It would be lawless. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't be lawless, but it would be a little laxer. Are you kidding me? I'm probably more of a disciplinarian than you are. Really? As a manager, I would be. Yeah, I'm probably more of a disciplinarian. I don't see that. That's true. That's true, too. Did you know that a major female A-list celebrity confronted Perez Hilton on the street? Good. A major A-list female celebrity confronted him on the street, pulled over in her car next to him, rolled down the window, called him over, and had a conversation. And I have her telling the story. I'm kind of surprised. She had the rocks to do it. When you hear who it is, you may go, really? I wouldn't have expected her to do that. So we will play you that audio coming up next. And let's hear it in the studio from our live studio audience. We'll be telling you who the A-list celebrity was that confronted Perez Hilton. Movie plot hot potato with the Super Bowl cut will be coming up at 7.30.

25:23Be very careful when you say that. That's right. As you should be. That's right. Either the guys or the girls are going to be wearing a... One of them is going to be wearing a bowl cut. It's the same one that I wore during the Mikey-thon. And it's so hideous. It's the most hideous wig I've ever seen in my life. It's god-awful. Oh, yeah. It's awful. It is. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. Okay, so a couple of things. Let's do this. I want to make sure that you hear who this celebrity was. It was Jennifer Aniston. And here's what happened. We should talk about Perez Hilton real quick. Because Perez Hilton was a guy that was doing some nasty things to a lot of celebrities. And he was on our show talking about that it was going to change. When the bullying thing was happening, a lot of kids were committing suicide. He realized he was a bully. I saw that show. And he told one of our producers, basically, he started thinking about it because you confronted him. And I think it's a fascinating story I'd like you to share. I did. I ran into Perez Hilton in a garage.

26:38It's one of those moments you just don't ever expect to happen. I had finished dinner with a girlfriend, and we were driving out, and I saw this very tall, long, I hope I can make this quick, lean person. And I say, who is that? She goes, I think that's Perez Hilton. And I said, no, I have to say something to him. Like, I have to. So I pulled up. It was sort of like this. We were sort of scoping each other out as I was pulling the car up. And I just rolled down the window, and I went, hi. And he went. We stood there like two deers caught in headlights. And I just said, come here, just talk to me for a second. And it was one of those just great moments. It was a lovely meeting. And I was just like, why are you so mean? There was something really great about just putting the human being in front of another human being. And then the reality that those words do, even though it's for humor and just for effect or whatever.

27:37there's a human being behind all of that, no matter what. So bullying in high schools or bullying on the Internet or bullying anywhere, it's good. I think he's making, and he's kept it up, too. Yeah, he has, and it's because of you. Right on. Right on, yeah. That's cool. Good for her. Yeah, she said something. Why is she so perfect? She sounds so annoying, though, to me. Really? She does kind of sound annoying. She sounded sweet. A beating? I think she sounded sweet. She sounded so nice. She's cool. I'd like to hang out with her. Yeah. She'd be cool. You changed your opinion real quick. But she sounds like a beating. Yeah, I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to talk to her. She's funny. Yeah. You want to hang out with her, but you don't want to talk to her. Oh. I can't get it. Good luck with that. I know. I have a shot. You kind of look like Vince Vaughn. Much chubbier, Vince Vaughn. It's funny because he's fat. Oh, boy. Thank you, Jay. Woods has been eating better. Yeah. Eliminating a lot from your diet. You're looking lean these days. That's am I. I had some fish last night that was delicious. Yeah. Fish. I like fish now.

28:50That's good. Great. Nothing to like. Was it wrapped in tortilla with beans around it? No. No. From Rubio's? It was not from Rubio's. It was from Jake's. That's good. Yeah, it was good. It was pecan-crusted sea bass. You're so fancy. I know. It was good. 570-194-9 is our number. Come and meet us next week. Mikey Show's doing a meet and greet next week at the East Village Tavern, and it's going to be with a bunch of single mingles like you. And you come down and hang out. Lots of stuff going on. L.O.B. yesterday, I thought this was kind of interesting. She, I guess, was out and she was running. I know it. Trying, guys. She said that she was feeling kind of beat and she wanted to stop. And this thought started going through her head. You know, you've made it far enough. You're tired. You've done well today. Why continue this? And she closed her eyes and she got this image of her butt getting bigger. Yeah. I saw it in the mirror last week. Yeah. And so that apparently. And then you started getting flashes of pretty girls that you'd seen on Facebook. Bikini. Hot female celebrities. Yoga poses. Yeah. And. Yeah.

30:18And there was a helicopter that was flying over her from Camp Pendleton. Yep. And she started to imagine that we were at war and she was running to save her life. It's brilliant. From the helicopter. Whatever you have to do. It worked. It wasn't motivation enough to try to look like the hot girls on Facebook. But then, like an angel, this helicopter came. And I was like, oh, everybody run for it! Yeah. Were you, like, dead sprinting? Yeah. Holy. I would have given anything to see that. And then there was a... You were running on the beach? Yeah, there was a guy in a red shirt in front of me, and I was pretending like he was one of the enemies that I had to, like, go tackle. Of course. So I was just, like, trying to get closer and closer to him. If I say save us on this beach, Captain, save us on this beach! Just keep running. Oh, it worked, though. I totally think like that, too.

31:18Whenever I do run, not very often, I think there's going to be a day where I need to maybe run for my life. And if I keep this up, I'm never going to get far. You're like, all right, take me. You got me. I'm mean to myself. I'll be like, oh, you're so tired. Look at you. At least you can walk. At least you live in a country that's free enough to let you run on the beach. Oh, wow. I'll say those things to myself. We have different thoughts. Holy cow. It works. I haven't run. Who am I kidding? M1 Eric from Chula Vista. What was the word of the day? That's correct. You got it. The word of the day was tortilla. You got yourself SeaWorld Fun Cards and UFC pay-per-view for the weekend. Hang on, okay? Very well done. What do you think about Sienna? Do you think about somebody chasing you or something? Well, I think about the day that someone may chase me. You've got to train for it. And I also think about, you know, hot girls, too. I'll put, like, pictures of real hot Victoria's Secret models out of the catalog. Maybe stick them on the fridge. Weird. Me, too. Screensaver on your computer. Keep me from opening it. Do a screensaver on your computer? Not this one, but my personal one. I have Marisa Miller. She's a Veronica... Victoria's Secret model.

32:46And it's her doing some sort of fancy yoga pose looking all hot. So weird. It keeps you motivated. It really works. I got to play some audio for you that I was going to play yesterday. And we never did get around to it. But I want to play it for you because it's one of the funniest things that I've heard in a long time. There's really nothing better than a weather guy. Probably grew up loving weather. Kind of geeking out about weather. I'm kind of like that. I kind of geek out about weather. I like weather systems. I think they're interesting. Not as much as this guy, who's a Weather Channel guy, works for the Weather Channel. And he was there in Chicago. And it's very unusual to get thunder in snow. That's a very unusual thing. It doesn't happen very often. It's an anomaly. And when it does happen, it usually only happens once.

33:44And you can see as you listen to this that it didn't just happen once. It happened a couple of times. And he gets a little excited about it happening. Oh, listen to that. Son of a. That's unbelievable. Oh, my goodness. Holy smoke. Smoke. Just incredible. Robbie. Holy smoke. Holy smoke. Yes. She said isolate. Done. Holy smoke. Just incredible. That's unbelievable.

34:39Son of a. Wow. He's very passionate. He's very passionate. And he's now a permanent fixture on the Mikey show. Imagine that guy making love to his wife. Holy smoke. Holy smoke. That's unbelievable. Just incredible. Son of a. Wow. What if he lost his job over cursing about Thundersnow? I know. Son of a. Thundersnow. Thundersnow. Thundersnow. Yeah. Thundersnow. They're like, well, what happened? He's like, I got freaked out. Thundersnow. Obviously. He got kicked off the air. What would you have done? You know, you'd have done the same thing. He'd sit in a bar somewhere just pounding drinks. Give me another Thundersnow. They named the drink after him. You want a Thundersnow? Son of a! That's brilliant. Son of a! Holy smoke. Well, listen. We have some interesting recaps, but probably not as interesting as Sienna's. Does he know that we're going to read this?

35:53No. Yeah, because she did that the other day. This is my life. I like to put my life out there. I appreciate you putting my life out there. He knows that that's my job. Sienna's 25. Her husband's a couple years older. 39. All right. His nickname is Lucky. So here's what she says. Let me just start by saying that Todd is not a jealous guy. Not at all. But last night he was... Skirting the line of jealousy. He has a friend who likes to call me, text me, email me fairly often. What? Not me. In fact, yesterday he called me and left a message. When I told Todd this friend called, Todd checked his phone and saw his friend did not call him. True story. Todd doesn't want to tell his friend not to contact me at all, but... He wants his buddy to at least be calling him first. And then try me. And if he doesn't answer, well, then call me. Yeah. Well, that's because you have big jugs. I mean, that would drive me nuts if one of my friends was just calling Todd. Yeah. I want to squeeze him. Oh, boy. And, like, yesterday his message was just like, hey, Sienna, it's so-and-so. I'm just calling to see what's up. Calling to see what's up.

37:24Just see what's up and then just say, you know, haven't heard from you or Todd for a while. No agenda? No. No, what are you guys doing for the Super Bowl? He's like that, though. He doesn't live here. No, no, no. Nobody is going to be just like that with me. What do you mean? No way. I mean, I'm friends with him. I met him through Todd, but I would never hang out with him without Todd. When did he start calling you? Oh, like immediately. He's like that. He's one of those. He's like Woods. Like, oh, hey, let me get your number. Hey. A creep, I guess. No, but just very outgoing. Handsome. Calls your wife. Yeah. I call your wife when I have a reason to call your wife. I don't call her to chat. Never text. I text her if I have a reason. I don't call her and go. What are you doing? Bling. Who's that? It's Woods. Oh, my. Then do you check your phone, Mike? Yeah. And he's always been called or texted first. Always. Unless it's something about you or it's about something that you have nothing to do with. Like our baby shower. I needed stuff from her to get to her. That one makes sense. Absolutely. And that's all I ever would write her about. What about the dinner plans that you guys were talking about? What dinner plan? Me and Rebecca? Yeah. Yeah.

38:35Is it weird, though, that if Mike wouldn't answer, you would call Rebecca? Why not just wait until Mike checks his phone? Because that could be three or four weeks. Yeah, but Todd checks his phone pretty often. Mike doesn't. Woods, I do. So there you go. You've been distant. It's terrible. It's terrible. Have I? Yes. Been distant. You've been taking a longer time. You've been taking a longer time in the afternoon, but no. Do you guys remember when he liked all of us working with us? He loved us. That was a really good time. You know he likes us. It was so fun. You wanted it more than I did. Remember that? I think he's getting better because we said something to you, Mike, the other day about taking a while to return our texts. I texted him yesterday. It was immediately responded. You know why? Oh, what's that like? Because we were making fun of you? No. What's that like? Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's do it. Oh. Did you orchestrate that? Of course I did. I hate this. Of course I did. Does the guy just, like, dream things up? He just sits at home. Yes. And he just dreams stuff up. Yeah. He likes to mess with you, Mike. He says. And the feeling's mutual. Believe me. This is his favorite thing to do.

39:47Out of nowhere yesterday, he texted me at 4 p.m. 358 and says, all caps, please, please, please wear your Tommy Bahama shirt tomorrow. And why would you wear a Tommy Bahama shirt? Because you love Tommy Bahama shirt. It's your favorite. Today's the only day you haven't worn it in like six months. When it's Mike's birthday, he makes sure it's a first stop to get a fresh TV. Fresh new one. He looks sharp for his birthday. He just calls him Tom. Yeah, TV. So I write back, suck it. And he writes. He writes back, suck it. And he writes, please. Yep. With about five exclamation points. And I wrote, feast. I'm not a Tommy Bahama tool, you clown. And he writes back. You do own Tom. You have so much Tommy Bahama stuff. It's not even funny. Your closet is decked out. It looks like a luau in your closet, okay? It's just a whole bunch of linen and then floral print. You walk in there, you're like, am I in Kauai right now? I hate you.

40:56Parrots chirping. Yes. There's a roasting pig in the backyard. Coconuts just rolling down the aisle. I hate you. I smell coconut oil. Pineapple slices everywhere. Are you going to lay? How dare you, people? I don't. I never want to know that about you. It's because it isn't true. Fuck, he's alarm clock. Ringtone. The story is, Rebecca and I were in Maui and decided to go to a luau, and I had to buy. I had to buy. Had to. Didn't have to, dude. Had to. I wore a collared shirt to a luau. I was forced to buy. I had a gun to my head in an alley and said, you buy this Tommy Maui, I'm going to blow your head off. Full price. Might as well have been like that.

41:55Did Rebecca want you to wear a Hawaiian shirt or did you want to be like in the scene? Dude, I'm not kidding you. She goes, she goes, she goes, babe. She goes, we got to wear like a Hawaiian shirt. And I go, aren't Hawaiian shirts really bad? She goes, no. She goes, they make like nice ones. We'll go get a nice one for you at Tommy Bahama. So it clicked right there for you. When she said, we'll go get you a nice one. You were like, ah, he's my boy. T-Bee. T-Bone. Whatever. So we got, I own this one Tommy Bahama shirt. And so anyway, he goes, Woods goes, never said you were a tool. It'd be hysterical. I said, no way. Ashley started that bit on the old show. Maybe we do tone deaf. And he writes back. He writes me back and says, remember when you liked the show you were on? Brilliant Woods. And I wrote back and I said. Maybe we do some tough love. A little bit on the old show. And he writes, Big ha-ha's out of that. I was dying laughing. That's what that means. I like that now. And then he wrote, Are you getting some texts? And I wrote a question mark and said, What do you mean? Because I wasn't. And he wrote back, Nothing, git. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, like mean woods.

43:24And so then I get the following text from Sienna like three minutes later. So you're going to wear your Tommy Bahama shirt tomorrow? About two minutes later, get one from LOB that says, don't forget to wear your Tommy Bahama shirt tomorrow. Again. Again. To which I responded, how dare you? I got the same response. Yeah, with the letter U. Did you not get one from Jay? No. I didn't get one from you, Jay. You mother. I did, too. I sent it. I sent it. I don't have to do your bits. Except for Jasper's phone. 402. You ain't the boss of me. Oh, I went to your email. Oh, weird. He sent it to my email. Jay, get up on the time.

44:13I really wanted you to walk in on that today. I thought it would have been a power move. I don't get it, Woods. You wear it every other day, Mike. Why don't you just wear it the one day we ask? How would anybody get it? Because we would have explained it. We would be in a really good mood all day. Exactly. And what would you have done? You would have been like... I would have fallen out of my chair if you just walked in with it all. I would have sent Chris to go get some leis and some flowers. Yes, we would have had a luau. We would have had a whole luau. The Tommy Bahama joke does not go away. I've been away from that radio station for a year. It's still... I get people send me pictures. Because for some reason, like in San Marcos, you know what I'm talking about? I saw it. For some reason in San Marcos, some dude or something puts up a sign. It's like Tommy Bahama sale. Yeah, they do it at Las Olas. I send it to him all the time. Everyone does. And I write everybody back. I'm like, I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Don't you. Don't you.

45:22Do you or do you not have a TB tattoo on your inner bicep? How dare you? You don't wear Time in Bahamas shorts. We'll give you that much. He did try on the linen pants in the store, though. I did. I actually did. What color linen? White. Oh, wow. I'll wear my white pants one day. You keep saying that you wore them. You did. Oh, damn it. The problem with me wearing the white linen pants is that, you know, they're made for a tall, handsome guy. And so when I tried them on. The crotch went down to my knees. I'm like, I walk out of the dressing room. I'm like, hey, babe. She's like, blue jeans. I would give anything to see Mikey in a picture. See a picture of Mikey at that luau. Just shirt unbuttoned. I have tons of pictures. I'll show you. Just getting them at that luau. How dare you? Have you ever been to a luau? Yeah. Did you wear a Hawaiian shirt? No, but I did wear my white pants and I wore like a yellow collared shirt. There was no flowers or anything on it. Well, you're so cool. I don't think it's a good idea for you to wear white pants. Have you seen them? No, because you keep talking about it. By the way, can we get back to the topic at hand? Your Tommy Bahama fetish? Yeah, no. Creepy Woods texting my wife and some dude that's friends with Todd calling and texting Sienna. We're friends. I text your wife when I need something. Yeah, me too. Sweet talk? What about...

46:53Yeah, real sweet Todd. Todd's creeper friend. He doesn't need anything. He's just checking in. That's weird. I don't do that. But he's just a friendly guy. Is he married? No. That's weird. Hello, Miss Lady. He's just a friendly guy. Why don't you be friendly with his friend, Todd? Well, I'm his friend. By association. By association. But I don't know. I agree. If I were Todd, I would be like, dude. What do you think that our friend, Dan Fields, who takes pictures? He's the greatest photographer ever, danfieldsphotography.com. How do you think he would feel if one of us just started texting Whitney? Is that inappropriate? Well, you know what's interesting is I wrote Whitney a private message on Facebook because I needed something from her. Whitney also happens to be our realtor. Well, that's different. So I guess she can't talk to people of the opposite sex that are married? You can't just say what up. No. That's not true. If I wrote Rebecca and said, how you doing, sweetheart? That would be weird. It would be inappropriate. It would be rude. It would be disrespectful and it would be creepy. But if I said, what can we bring to your Super Bowl party? Nothing wrong with that. What should we bring to the shower? There's nothing wrong with that. Because you're going to go, I have no idea. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I go to Rebecca for stuff about you. Yeah. Because you can come to me about things about me. Can I? Yeah.

48:17Why? Well, you won't respond. Or you don't know. Or you're just in Tommy Bahama land. Yeah, you're looking at Tommy Bahama catalogs all day. Sienna, can we talk? Yeah. Does it really bother you? I text him back when he texts me. Yeah. Well, when there's things like the baby shower, it's okay for him to text Rebecca. It is. That is. Have I ever sent an inappropriate text? You've never sell-donged her, if that's what you're asking me. No, you've never done that. As far as you know. Don't even get that in his head. I'm not saying that you've done inappropriate things. What I am saying is that I think that there's been a time or two where you've, you know, made like a joke or, hey, you know, that kind of thing. What's that? I'm a little uncomfortable. Todd's friend, this is what like brought the awareness on New Year's Eve, called me and left a message saying happy New Year. That's wrong. That's wrong. Plus, dude, you go to bed at six. If I need something, I got to go. I got to go to the go to the boss. What do you need that's so pressing? Like when I was setting up the Heath Bell prank. I gave her a call. Like when I needed to know something about like, hey, what time am I picking you guys up for dinner Friday? We're all going out. What time would you like me to pick you up? Because you don't know this stuff. You don't. That's why. That's true. That is exactly. I don't know that. You don't know that stuff. You never do. That I don't know. Like what time am I picking you up tonight? You told me you didn't. Oh, I do know. You did tell me. What time?

49:45615. Boy, good for you. Okay, now I don't have to text Rebecca. I should anyway, though. I probably should just say hi. Sometimes you just want to know what Rebecca's wearing, too. So it's just like... That was over the line. What? Unnecessary. What do you mean sometimes? Don't worry, Mike. He's just joking. He's trying to be funny. I get it. Oh, God. I want to squeeze it. Oh, wow. The smile of a serial killer right now. I think I have an intersection. I mean, an addiction.

51:06I'll cross the line. He's so creepy. Yeah. Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. We're getting very close to Valentine's Day. Ten days till Valentine's Day. And your Uncle Victor has a new message for you. Yeah, this is Uncle Victor for Beg Me a Pie. I married your daughter Melinda. I got your treadmill. that you saw her on TV. And then, I gave your husband, I gave your new husband free boxes of tools. And then, so bake me a pie for Valentine's Day. I was sober at Lucky's funeral. Remember? And she should bake me a pie. You should. I married Melinda. Hey, ma. Ma. Bake me a pie. Oh, my gosh. Wow. It's Uncle Victor for bake me a pie. Wow. He's got a lot of demands. He does. He does. You know, she should bake him a pie because he stayed sober at Lucky's funeral. Yeah. Lucky. He was grumpy, though. Grumpy. He was grumpy. Grumpy merchandise. $1,000 paperweight. That's good. Let's make some noise with our live studio audience today. Let's see.

52:59We're going to tell you about that guy that ripped off the Bellagio that walked in there with a motorcycle helmet on. Remember that? They caught him. Wait till you hear who he is. What's next? Hey, let's hear it with our live studio audience. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And it's Crass. It's Crass. Crass. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, do you guys remember the story? Back in December, on the 14th, actually, a man wearing a motorcycle helmet walked into the Bellagio, went up to a table gambling. I forget what kind of table, but took a million and a half dollars worth of chips.

54:39Walked right out and bailed. And just the day before, someone also broke into the Suncoast Casino and not broke into, but stole money as well, doing the same thing with the motorcycle helmet on. Well, they've now figured out who the man was, a 29-year-old judge's son. Las Vegas court judge George Assad, his son, was arrested in Vegas yesterday for the crime. He's a former real estate broker. He went bankrupt. So, yeah. You're going to do a lot of time. Yeah. Daddy ain't getting you out of that one. And police didn't say whether or not he tried to redeem the chips, and that's how they caught him. I don't know how yet. Well, he had to. I read something, Sienna, where somebody, he gave a $25,000 Bellagio chip to, Bellagio? The Bellagio chip to a Salvation Army worker. with the pot, you know, like collecting donations, gave a $25,000 chip. That guy tried to redeem the chip at Bellagio. I read that last night. Wow. Really? Yeah, and he had... So he just gave a description. Yeah, and gave a description, and apparently this guy, the robber, had told one of the dealers, asked one of the dealers in the Bellagio the week before, how hard would it be to knock off a casino? And the guy's like, pretty friggin' hard, seeing as how it's really never been done.

55:53And he goes, all you need is a gun and a motorcycle. Oh, boy. Which is what he told the dude and the guy described him. And half a brain. And half a brain. Gosh, man, it was nuts. I was riveted when I was reading this story. The guy's going to use a motorcycle helmet and he says that? Yeah. Oh, boy. Also, guys, there's new Shamu Will Show. It's coming to SeaWorld. I get really excited about these. And Lauren. They're kind of ripping off your old bit they used to do. It's an environmental message, which is what she and her sister used to do at schools. It's called One Ocean, and it's going to be starting in May, opening in May at the Orlando SeaWorld. They're going to start it off in April. But it's going to be great. It's going to be replacing the Believe show, which has been running for five years. Has it really? Yeah. Been that long? Mm-hmm. They're probably a little more qualified than me and my sister dressed as mermaids. But it's supposed to be educational, thrilling, shampoo. I might have to do a cease and desist. Yeah, you might. Send a letter.

56:54Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, there's a big story coming out of the Super Bowl. Ben Roethlisberger. Don't freak out, everybody. Don't freak out. It's going to be bad. Don't freak out, everybody. Everybody, don't freak out. I didn't do anything. I'm not hating on anybody. But apparently he was spotted on video at a bar on stage singing Piano Man by Billy Joel, which, hey, have a ball, you know? But nothing. They asked him, Ben, what were you doing out boozing it up Super Bowl week? Cut one. Well, it was superstition and tradition. Tuesday night, I'd take my lineman out to dinner. And we went out to dinner and went to a great barbecue spot, which they wanted to do. And so we went there and then wanted to listen to some live music. So we went to a piano bar and just had an enjoyable night. Yeah, they had a good time. He can do whatever he wants. He's a grown man. Absolutely. He's dated to where he is. He already has two rings. And for the record, last night, he went to a movie and was in bed by 10. So there you go. There you go. The guy knows what he's doing. Very nice. And, man, there's a ton of stories today. The Falcons have actually extended their coach, Mike Smith, who has done really, really well with that bunch down there. They've extended him for three years at $2.2 million a season.

58:09It's a lot of dough. Let's see. Okay, don't forget, 7.30, we'll be flipping a coin to see if it's going to be the guys or the girls that are going to be playing movie plot hot potato. And whichever guy or whichever girl loses is going to have to wear that bowl cut wig. It is. It's terrible. Who else on display over there? I love this text. My teenager told me she wants to start drinking coffee in the morning. She's 15. What do you guys think, M1 Car Monkey? What do you guys think about kids drinking coffee? My sister Waverly. She drinks coffee now and it really freaks me out. How old is she? 15. Yeah, there's got to be some age before, I don't know, maybe after 18. Can it stunt your growth?

59:04What about energy drinks and all that? Coca-Cola Mountain Dew. Yeah, I guess you're right. Now that kids drink alcohol with the Red Bull and stuff like that, it really creeps me out. Yeah, they're drinking those giant monsters. It's just like, what's worse? Hey, Jay, can you turn that monitor down just a tiny bit because I'm getting a little bit of the feedback from it. But I don't know, man. I just think kids, it's my own personal thing. I don't want my kids drinking the heavy. Stuff like that. I think I drank coffee in high school. Really? I mean, I'm pretty sure I, like every once, not every morning, but every once in a while. I mean, and I also think a soda, you know, a Mountain Dew or a Coca-Cola or something like that when you're that young should be a treat. If you have to have it to start your day, maybe make the kid go to bed earlier. Clearly didn't stunt Sienna's growth. Bring on the big one. Okay. Sienna's big boobs. Is she? I didn't notice. I was talking about her height. Her height. I'm really not that tall. He was talking about her heights. Height. Height. I'll give you two reasons, Alex, you know. Her right boob and her left. I was thinking of personality. Well, I would hope, Jay. She must have drank milk. That does a body good. Oh, my. I really like to stay. Situation.

1:01:03My favorite thing to drink out of is a jug. Twin Peaks. What are you going to do? I got a pink shirt on. Does anyone have a sweatshirt? M1 Mikey Wannabe from Chula Vista is on the line. How are you? Good. I listened to you guys talking about drinking coffee and everything and giving it to kids. I lived in Brazil for a little while. And they actually give, you know, a lot of people give kids coffee like when they're three years old with just mixing it with milk. Yeah. In other countries, coffee's a big deal over there. Café con leche. Si. Yep. Mikey. They got to get the kids woke up, right? That's hardly. Just, I mean, they have, yeah, like in Spain, the little espresso and stuff. Yeah. And just in a tiny little cup. Yeah. That's what they do. Do you guys remember Jolt Cola? Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, at 12 years old, we used to just.

1:02:19I think about it. I go through the internal process of, are we too uptight? Are we right on the money? Are we too uptight? Are we right on the money? When your kids are in high school, I think it's okay if they have it every once in a while. If they're depending on getting up from coffee. Problem is, we don't know what they're doing. They leave in the morning. I know, but they leave in the morning to go to school, unless you're taking them. I used to go with... Money that was, you know, allowance money and get Jolt Cola and caffeine pills and be like. Really? Yeah. We used to have vending machines with all the sodas in the schools. And my sister, I was at their high school recently and they don't have any soda anymore. Really? What's wearing at my sister's high school? Just kidding. It's one of my favorite names. What are you doing? You're such a creep. Who, Jay? You can't be taking those caffeine pills. Caffeine pills? Yeah, when I was a kid. What? Well, when I was an adolescent. Yeah. Young adult. What, like Vibrin? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Vibrin. You mean you really are taking drugs? I need them. Jessie, give me those. I need them. Jessie, you can't sing tonight. A favorite line of any show. That was actual audio of L.O.B. Yeah. Talking to her friend Zach. Talking to her friend Zach before her recital. Things got out of control. Yeah, because you were drinking Jolt Cola. Yeah.

1:03:58My wife yesterday, and I said to her, I go, second day in a row, she has now begun watching Beverly Hills 90210, the old ones. Nice. I go, what are you doing? And she goes, it makes me feel young. Yeah. Yeah. It was the, listen, I loved 90210, but I was watching it yesterday, and it was so, the acting. Was so bad. How dare you. I loved it. Listen, I loved it. I loved it. I'll admit to you. Watch it now. I do. I have. Dylan's mom. Oh, gosh. She was bad anyway. Dylan's mom walked in and she's like, hello, dear. Yeah. What, mom? What? Yeah. What's the problem? What? I'm trying to tell you. I'm checking into a hotel tonight. Fine. Just get out of my beach house. Fine. But if I must go, I need to use your credit card. Kelly, darling, I'm sorry. Fine. There are people like that in Beverly Hills. Everybody's on my payroll. Are they? There are. I'll tell you what. They talk like this. Yes. Like that from the 1920s. Really? I've never seen it myself. At one point, she walked in and she actually goes, yeah, see? Just like that. Which is... Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

1:05:19It was the worst. 5701949. I thought Mr. Walsh was an exceptionally good actor. Exceptional. Did you? He was. Jim Walsh was great. Jim Walsh, he was believable. He was so dad-like. He was so dad. Such a dad. And the mom, so sweet. So sweet. She was over the top, but Jim Walsh was like... I'm a dad. Guy just didn't get a lot of work in Hollywood after 902 when I wrapped up. That's fair enough. I saw him in something where he was supposed to be a dirtbag and I was like, nah, Mr. Walsh. Regis and Kelly with Justin Bieber. And you went to the White House. And you went to the White House. Did you get a chance to talk to him for a minute? Yeah, I got to go in the... In the office with him. And we talked for like five minutes. What exactly did the president say to you? Do you remember? He was like, well, look. Thank you for coming here. Look, Justin. From my days in Chicago to my days in the White House. My daughter, Sasha and Malia.

1:06:31My wife, Michelle. We want to all thank you. And with the kids there, too? You are a tool. He doesn't have a southern accent. Why was he talking like that? You're a tool. I am not a tool. Listen, B.O. Don't talk like that. Don't call me B.O. Barack Obama B.O. Don't call me B.O. What's up? I like your office. It's the Oval Office. Yeah. Listen to me. It's shaped like an egg. It's not shaped like an egg. That would be a different shape. Oval. This is a circle. Listen to me. I be listening. Don't say I be listening. Why? We black men. We can talk. Come on. You and I are not. I am a black man. I am a black man. First of all, you're not even a man. True. You're a young boy. I bet you have more girls than you. I bet you haven't. I bet he has. I bet I have.

1:07:35Maybe you have. Let's get something straight. That. The only reason you're here. Didn't even make sense. Yes, it does. If you really think about it. Oh, my God. The only reason that you're here is because my daughters like you. But once you meet them, I want you to get the hell out. That's fine. That's fine. I got all kinds of stuff I be doing. My mom's called, and I got a couple of appearances, and I'm just heading out. I'm heading out later. How's that flat-billed baseball cap? It's good. It's good. It covers my hair, man. Witches be trying to grab my hair and pull my hair out all the time. Do the witches be trying to grab your hair? Every day. All the time? Every day. Is it bright in here? No. It's my look. It's my look. It's my look. It's my look. Would you mind pulling your pants up in the Oval Office, please? Don't be looking at my pants now, B.O. Don't be looking at my pants. I'm not. I'm looking at your boxers currently. That's kind of creepy. Well, the reason I am is because your jeans are so low that I can see. This is the look, man. This is the look. This is how we do it. Yeah. By we, I suppose you mean.

1:09:02You and the other thing that I can see. So put your pants back on, please. Oh, wow. Fine. Repugnant. Yo, repugnant. Get out. What's that mean? Get out. Get out. I'm out. Here's the other thing. Apparently, San Diego gas prices are at their highest level. Weird. Since the fall of 2008. Yeah. Sad story. Oh, Egypt, I bet. I bet it is. I bet the prices of gas are going up because of what's going on in Egypt. Perfect. Middle East unrest. Do they say why or they don't? It doesn't say why. It just says that since mid-October 2008, it's increased 1.4 cents. It's killing me. Yeah. The average price is 2.3 cents more than a week ago. It just keeps going up. Oh, my gosh. It's awful. Paying like $4 a gallon. It's ridiculous. Let's see. When we come back, somebody will flip a coin. Who's good in here in the room flipping a coin? Okay, we'll have you flip a coin. And we will do movie plot, hot potato, Super Bowl. Cut. My wife hates red, unless it's the slow stuff. I like to drive with this really loud. All right, so we need you to call right now because you're going to pick. You're either going to be picking...

1:10:57Jay or Woods or Sienna or L-O-B. 570-1949. Let's make some noise with our live studio audience in here this morning. We have an incredible portrait print in here from our boy Jared. He basically took a photograph, made it into a beautiful, what looks like oil painting. It's amazing. Tie-in stuff. And Jared's doing something special for M1s right now. This is really cool. Listen to this. I am so excited. I know. He wants to offer anybody listening right now a frame for your portrait. It doesn't matter what size you get the portrait in. It is free. Wow. And not just like a cheap frame. These things are beautiful. Be up to a $95 value. All you need to do is type Mikey as the promotional code when you order the portrait.

1:12:14portraitprince.net. Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. That's a good move. Oh, yeah. Let's hear it for the Palm Restaurant. How good are those chicken parm sliders? Both of them tasted great. Yeah, because we went back for some. You guys had two? Yes. You had two? Yes. Yes. You ever fat? Oh, wow. I told the manager, Adam, I'm like, I'll be there on my anniversary. A hundred. Expect to see me. They are so, so good. If you want to go to the Palm Restaurant, they are at 615 J Street in San Diego. They are so good, man. They brought lobster in here for Mike. My lobster. It was so good. It's the best lobster I've ever had. It was so good. The three of us, four of us split one and Mike had his own. They said they can get 12 pound lobsters. Are you serious? That's what he just told me. $7,000. $12,000. Oh, my gosh. All right. Let's do this. Movie plot hot potato. Oh, boy. Let's get some people on the phone and see who they want. Do we have prize today for this, Jay, no matter who wins? We do indeed. We have a $50 gift card to Pro Flowers. All right. Let's do this. If it's the guys that have to go, first we'll select that. M1 Brandon from Escondido.

1:13:41Who would you like to represent you? You got it. Hang on. M1. Don't steal Jay's name. M1TJ from OB. You got Jay, okay? Tom. All right, hang on. And then M1George from Del Cero. Who would you like? Sienna. You got it. Hang on the line. Hi, George. And M1Chris from San Diego. Are you there? You got it. Hello. Hang on the line. Okay, let's have you come over to the microphone. Tell everybody your name into the microphone, please. This microphone right here. You got to talk about this far away from that mic. My name's Edgar. Okay, Edgar. You are going to be flipping the coin. If it's heads, it's the girls. If it's tails, it's the guys. Go ahead and flip. Okay, let's see. What is it? Heads. Yes. You're off the hook, Jay. It's the girls. Yes. It's the girls. Yes.

1:14:42Of course it is. Wow. All right, ladies. Stupid wig. Whoever loses between Sienna and L.O.B. has got to wear that bowl cut wig. It's a black bowl cut wig. It's hideous. Hideous. Yes, it is. Thanks. We go double or nothing. I'll take two BBs. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. There's no BBs to be had today. It's the wig. It's the wig. It's the wig. I know. I was trying to trade up. All right, let's see. You guys ready? We get 60 seconds. They're going to describe a movie plot to me and toss the hot potato back. Last time Sienna started, should I start this time? Sure. They're going to toss the hot potato back and forth between each other, and whoever's holding the hot potato at the end of 60 seconds is the loser. Here we go. Okay, it's a movie about an alien. He phones home. E.T. Dorothy Follows the Yellow Brick Road. The Wizard of Oz. It's a movie with Tom Cruise. It's like the end of the world. There's frogs falling out of the sky. Magnolia. Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio. Titanic. Let's see. Robert De Niro and little guy Joe Pesci out in Vegas. Casino. Tom Hanks' Alone on an Island. Castaway. It's a guy that forgets a lot, kind of like Jay. Memento.

1:16:04A hooker that falls in love with Richard Gere, Julia Roberts. Pretty woman. Let's see, there's blue aliens out in this jungle world. Oh, Avatar. A dad is looking for his son, they're fish, and Ellen DeGeneres is a voice. Finding Nemo. It's a movie about dreams with Leonardo DiCaprio. Inception. Girls are playing baseball. A League of Their Own. Oh, gosh. John Candy and Steve Martin, they're in all forms of transportation. Planes, trains, and automobiles. Sienna! Sienna is holding the ball! Sienna is holding the ball! Oh, boy. That was stellar. Great job, guys. Yes, I would. Oh, no! Yes, I would. So, Sienna, I'll help you out with this. I'm pretty good at it. Worn it myself. What's she going to do with all her hair? Sienna, I want to make sure that... I can't even look at anyone. Sienna, when you wear the... I'm going to look disgusting. Hang on a second. When you wear the wig, you have to remember to do this a lot. Shake your head. And bob your head. Why? Trust us. It makes it look great. Can I go in the bathroom and put it on myself and then come back? No problem. She's going to go cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm going to make sure I have a lot of hair.

1:17:35I love it. He's going to come back looking like Shirley from Laverne and Shirley. Yes! Yes! Janet from Breeze Company. Exactly. We have to make a rule, too, because that was so close that if the ball... What do we do? If the ball is in the air, the person that threw the ball is off the hook. Yeah. If it's out of their hand and it's in the air... They're off the hook. The only rule about that is you have to finish answering completely before the ball goes. Before the ball goes. Which you did on that one. I watched. It was close. It was like right as the ball. It's fine, though. You got it out of your hands, L.O.B. As long as that ball is out of your hands, then you're good to go. I can't wait to see this. I'm going to die laughing. Oh, poor Sienna. So Sienna will be back in just a second. She's putting on the wig and then we'll post pictures of it on our Facebook page and on MikeyShow.com. M1 Chris from San Diego. L-O-B-1 for you. So hang on the line, okay? Thanks a lot. Hang on a minute. I have a podcast that I'm doing. If you go to iTunes and you search V-O-M.

1:18:46which stands for Vessels of Mercy. You can listen to it. It's a solo thing. Oh, my. Is she coming back? Yeah, she's ridiculous. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. You guys, I think it looks good. It doesn't look that bad. It does not look good. It doesn't look that bad. It looks beautiful. I have to put my hair in a bun back here because it doesn't fit in it. She has a ton of hair. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm trying to think, like, who does she look like? I know. I was trying to think that, too. I look gorgeous. Oh, wow. I've never felt so pretty. So, yes. That's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. You have to wear that whole show. That's fine. It's going to be the most distracting thing I've ever had to deal with. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to be so distracted by that. We should sit her to Starbucks. We should have some coffee. I would love to. Ooh, I would love to. How do you feel about that, Sienna? You on board? She's checking herself out in her compact. How do you feel about Starbucks? Oh, I'll go. Oh, wow. Oh, I'll go. We gotta do it. We have to. We have to sit her on the phone to Starbucks. You would do it? Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it right now. Let's have her go. Chris, Chris, can you film her?

1:20:09Do we have anything to film her with? I have the camera. Your phone. Flip cam? Let me see if I get something from Adam. Let's get the flip phone. Let me get the flip phone first. Like such an idiot. Whatever. I don't care. Sienna. It was just itchy. It was itchy. Listen, when you go in there, I want you to just be you. You're not going to do any character. I want you to be like, hi, how are you? Of course. Why would I do it any other way? On the phone, and we'll get to hear the whole thing. We're going to put an earpiece in the whole bit? We can. That's too much. I'll just hold the phone. Do we have that? Yeah, Jay's got one. You do? Sorry. You have an earpiece? In my car. Yep. We'll just get audio of her ordering. Yeah, I just need audio. Okay. She could put her phone on speaker, though, anyway, couldn't she? Yeah, let's do that. But then they'll be able to hear it. They'll hear it. Come on, guys. I'll just have it up to my ear. I do it ordering anyway. Yeah, good idea. I love it. Can I go now before I change my mind? Yeah, but we need to get the flip camera. Yeah, I'm working on it. Hey, can I say a happy birthday to somebody real quick? Sure. It's Jasper's birthday. He's eight years old today. That's so cool. Our coin tosser. It's your birthday too, Edgar? How old are you? Happy birthday, pal. 27. Happy birthday. My head's really itchy. It's got crabs. That was a Merkin. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. What, what, what?

1:21:37Since this Starbucks thing was not part of the deal, I'm going to go and I'm going to do that and then the wigs come off because it really itches. Well, beyond that, it's going to distract me. I'm trying to figure out who Sienna looks like. I know. I won't be able to deal with it. Do you guys think I look good? Well, okay. Let's move on. Next story was... Speaking of Jasper, you're going to love this. Jay got home and... I'll read it to you right from the recap. Jay got home yesterday and walks in the house and Kim asked if he can come upstairs and see what Jasper had done. Oh, no. Jasper, I'm going to kill you. She had this look on her face that made him kind of worried. And also about to laugh at the same time because this look is something that he knows. So he goes up there and went to the shower and turned the shower on on hot. And the steam built up. And on the door of the shower, the glass door, was a wiener. Drawn. Drawn. He's curious. With her finger. Drew, you know. Yeah. A wiener. A wiener. And so Jay says that he couldn't believe that Jasper would do something like that. So she is about to call Jasper upstairs. And Jay.

1:23:03Starts laughing and says, I did it. I drew it on there real big. Well, it was life size. Oh, wow. Wow. She didn't think it was as funny as she did. She didn't think it was nearly as funny. She actually cleans the shower. Oh, Woods. So happy birthday, Jess. Did you draw that L.A.B.? I was trying to paint the picture. I was trying to show him. She is the dirtiest birdie. In the room. I learned it from Superbad. I was just about to say, why do guys do that? I wanted Wood to know what we were talking about. I know what a wiener looks like. Do you? Don't I? Oh, creepy. Jay, what? Why? It just kind of hit me. It was like, it was something all... There was already kind of a shape there, and I thought, oh, I know what that is. And I went ahead and outlined it. I'll complete that. I'll complete it. You know your son uses the same shower as you. Not all the time. He knows what it looks like. And it kind of went away. I thought it went away, but then it doesn't go away. Oh, that's so brilliant. And I also thought it would be funny if Kim saw it. Poor Kim. I caught a girlfriend cheating that way. What? She drew that?

1:24:23Have I ever told you this story? Oh, my. My girlfriend at the time, Rola, was staying at my place. Where? La Mirage. Here, okay. San Diego. Nice apartment. And she asked me if I could go down to her car and get something from her car. And I went down there to get something from her car. And written on the passenger side window was... And it was early in the morning, so it was cold. Yeah, like dewy. And so, you know, when it's cold, like it gets that frost on it, was written, I love you. I would have never seen it if it had been later in the day. If it had been later in the day, the sun would have, you know, melted and whatever. And I saw it. I was like, I love you. That's kind of weird. And so I went upstairs and I said, do you know that it says I love you on your passengers? side door without even blinking she goes oh yeah my brother wrote it oh wow i go really you wrote i love you she goes and it was the first of me going i think something maybe why did she say like i wonder who did that that's weird yeah well it was on the inside how fast she said it on the inside no it wasn't no it wasn't on the inside but

1:25:51How fast she said it. Right. Actually had me go, oh. Like, and I did think, like, oh, I wonder. I wonder. But it wasn't. Your Magnum PI. Well, dude, it wasn't even Magnum PI. It was written on the window. Anyone would have been like, what's that? I wouldn't have noticed. My dad noticed footprints on the window, on the inside of the window of his car. Oh, no. Yep. Babies crawling around? Wasn't babies. Making babies. Just practicing. We're Park Place. I could barely see her. She had her shoes on. Of course she did. Gross. It got stuck. This is hot. Get it? If this Buick's a rockin'. If this Studebaker is a rockin'. Yeah. It's a covered wagon. This Model T is a rockin'. Don't build. There's a Roland. Attached to a rock is a rockin'. Oh, God. Your dad really found that? Oh, yeah. And there was actually...

1:27:21On the walls inside the car as well. Oh, God. It's a Gran Torino. Sky blue. A Gran Torino? Mm-hmm. Sky blue. Oh, God. You were doing it with your girlfriend in a Gran Torino? Vinyl seats. Another worse than vinyl seats. Oh. Oh, my God. I used to make the fake footprints with my hand. You're like that, you know, with this little side thing? Because you wanted people to think that you were making one. Yeah, I wanted to think it looked like little babies crawling up the window. You do that, and then you do the... The finger things. You guys don't know that? Nope. We do now. You guys, my head itches so bad. Oh, boy. It's just crabs. It's no big deal. I have a stupid wig on. Oh, it's okay. It's like driving me nuts. We've had to endure some things here, lady. You're going to endure it. Oh, wow. Sienna just gave me a look that said, as soon as the mic's off, I'm going to slit your throat with my fingernail. I knew the game was put the wig on, whatever.

1:28:19I'm going above and beyond and making a fool of myself in public as well. You know what? Let's just let her leave it on the whole show then. All right. I won't come back. I know who Sienna looks like now. You guys know who Frankie and Annette are from Back to the Beach? Annette of Coachella or what her name is? Yes. That's the one. Yes. I do know that. Beach Blanket Bingo. Beach Blanket Bingo. That's who she looks like. Jay directed that movie. That's the name of the game. She was in the Mickey Mouse Club. Yeah. Yeah. She does. She had big cans as well. Dorsey. Tiana's not happy. Betty Rubble. Yeah. Betty Rubble. Veronica from Betty and Veronica. Yep. I'm so glad it's part of this game. Ren from Ren and Stimpy. Betty Boop. 5701949. Okay, let's do this. When we come back, she'll be at Starbucks. Oh, yes. We'll send her. Yeah. Are you ready, Sienna? Oh, yeah. All right. I'd like a caramel macchiato if you're down there. I'm not getting you anything. Guess who else will be in the studio next? Skittles. The rap artist. Let's make some noise. So we have Sienna on the line. You guys? Yeah.

1:30:06Hello, my darling. Are you in the Starbucks now? No, I'm sitting on a bench with Chris next to it, right outside of it. And you have on a black bowl cut wig. And people, everyone looks at me, but they're really polite about it. Like no one points. They like just do like a quick smile and then keep walking. But they're definitely thinking to themselves, wow, that's unusual. What is that? 40 people walk by. There's a UPS store over here, City Bank Burger King. There's a lot of people in here. You don't understand. This is very noticeable. It's not like you would walk by this and go, that's her hairstyle or whatever. You walk by it and you go, that's her hairstyle, but it's weird. That's odd. Like a cat on her head. Yes. Beaver. All right. Well, let's have you. And the Asian guy with a similar haircut just looked at me. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Can I just go in now? Can I get this over there? Just incredible. All right. Let's have you go inside. Yes. And you're going to order a drink for Woods? There's a line. There's a line. Oh, perfect. Yeah, you'll stand in the line. Oh, my God. Talk to the customers. You'll be fine. All right. Here we go. I'm in. All right. How long does the line look? How many people are in front of you? Five.

1:31:35There are five people in front. He won't take long. Usually goes pretty quick. Is Chris standing right next to you or phone screen? He's sitting at a table. Incognito? He doesn't want to stand next to her. He's just filming. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's more obvious. Yeah. It's real strange. All right. So we'll have you. Now, can you see from your vantage point who's behind the counter? We got guys or girls or what is it? All girls. Oh, no. Two, three girls, one guy. Three girls, one guy. Yeah. Hopefully you get a guy. He's making the drink. Oh, gosh. He'll have to say her name and give her her drink. Hi. Hi. Have her make up a name. How far away are you? Someone just gave me a really weird look. How far away are you now? Three people. Oh, for Sienna. Sienna, your name is going to be Beatrix. So am I just repeating what you said? Yes. Oh, perfect. Oh, wow. This is what I'm doing now. Okay. I don't know if I look like an idiot. Are you there? Nope. Tell me how many people now. Now there's only two in front of me. Okay. Here's what we're going to do, Sienna. When you get to the salesperson, the barista, you're going to tell the barista,

1:33:05that you're on the phone with your husband and that he's being difficult and that you're trying to get the two of you drinks. Okay. And I will then repeat to you what it is that you need to say. I only have enough money for one drink. Okay, yeah. Well, then you're getting your husband a drink. I'm up next. Okay. Everyone is staring at me. Everyone is staring at me. Don't worry. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. easily 40 people in here. When you get... You'll see the video. You'll see. When you get to the line, say, okay, I'm at the counter now. Okay, I'm at the counter now. What is it you want? I'm talking to my husband. I'm talking to my husband. Sorry. He's being really difficult. He wants some kind of drink. He wants some kind of drink. How about macchiato? Do you got... He wants a pumpkin macchiato? Do you guys still have pumpkin stuff? No.

1:34:05Okay, pumpkin. He wants peppermint macchiato. Do you have peppermint macchiato? Peppermint macchiato? Yeah. Like a peppermint mocha? Babe? No, I don't want that. Ask them if they sell milk duds. There's a long line, babe. Can I get a grande caramel macchiato? Anything else? Nope, that'll do. No, that'll do. Do you guys have milk duds? You guys have milk duds? You don't? I thought I remembered seeing those goods. Yeah. How are the sandwiches? Not since you've worked here. How are the sandwiches? How are the sandwiches? They're okay. Do you have bologna? You should say good. She's not going to lie. You're going to play. What's webbing? Oh, thanks. I myself. I got two. I got two. That's it? You're done? I got two. She got scared. No, not scared. Shooed. Shooed. Oh, she got shooed. Yeah.

1:35:08Oh. It's busy. It's rush hour there. It's rush hour. Right now, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten people in line. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's fantastic. Where are you now? Are you still in line? Yeah, no, I'm standing by where the drink is. She's got to talk to the barista. Is there a barista there that you can talk to? I can try. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine people waiting for the drink. I know, but what I want is a barista that can maybe be free enough to talk to you. Okay. Or maybe somebody in line. Maybe somebody waiting. Okay, what do you want to hear? Okay, say this to the person that is next to you. Go. Does my hair look funny? Can I ask you something? Does my hair look funny? It doesn't? Okay. Liar. She said it's just a different style, but it looks fine. I'm trying something different. I'm just trying something different. Figured why not, you know? Be different. My husband is into this. My husband's into it. Weird. He's into Asians. Just give him a try. My husband likes Asians. Nice. Yeah, you broke her. Got her. Wow. My husband likes Asian guys. Don't you dare. Oh, this drink's ever good for that one.

1:36:40They haven't served you yet? Yes. Very much. Yeah. Is there anybody else next to you? One step not wearing a wig. That's ridiculous. But I have a lot worse questions than that. Is there an earpiece in her? Does she have a phone? No, she's holding the phone. No, she has an earpiece. Oh, she does have an earpiece? Yep. Hey, is there something in my hair? Hey, in my hair? On her strap? Oh, my gosh. I am so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I didn't think anybody could see that. Is it like a bra strap? Is it like a bra strap? I was afraid of that. I was really afraid of that. My stupid husband. My stupid husband. And his Asian fetish. He's so weird, my husband. He placed these pranks on me.

1:37:46He'll switch out my wigs. He'll switch out my wig and, you know, I don't know. She looks like a lunatic. Yeah, she is lunatic. She looks like a crazy cat lady. Hey, do you know of a cab company around here? No. They shunned her. Hey, do you know of a cab company around here? A cab company around here? Yellow cab. Yellow cab? Oh, gosh. Thank you. I don't need one. Do I have something in my hair? Wonderful to meet you. Okay, bye guys. Bye.

1:38:49You mean like a wig? Holy crap. Poor Sienna. I can't wait to see that video. I can't wait to see her face and how beet red it is when she gets back. She's a hero. She is. She turns so red. Oh, beet red. I really enjoyed that. You're a monster. No, you're not. You do it to me all the time. Does it make me a masochist? That is one of the hardest things to do in the world. You come up with those questions and you're like, I really, I got to ask this guy Burger King if they have prime rib. I don't know if I could do it. I'm picturing myself in that. I'm going to throw a crazy idea out there. If you guys think it's too crazy, then we won't do it. When she gets back, I'll put the wig on and I'll go do it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? I'll say what you tell me. As long as it isn't dirty. I want to say dirty stuff.

1:39:45Oh, this would be a fun day on the Mikey Show, my friend. The kook. They're going to be like, really? Well, where else should I go? Burger King. Burger King. Burger King. No, I think you should go back into Starbucks. The thing with Starbucks, there's too many people. And it's not as fun. It's so much funnier if it's you and the guy ringing you up. How about the dry cleaner? What's up? Oh, gosh. The dry cleaner. Oh, gosh. Do you remember that place? Yes. I do. Yes. Please. Okay. Wow. Please. Oh, you got it. If it's not open, which it may not be because it says on their door 8, remember? It says 8, but they open at 10. They open at like 9.30 apparently. I was knocking on the door and she's like waving me away. I'm like, it says 8. She's like, I don't care. I don't care what it says. That's so great. So if it's not open, we'll go to Burger King. But yes, dude. Yes, yes. More yes. I already have some questions prepared. You in that wig is... I've had a lot of coffee, so I'm ready to go. Oh, good. I'm so proud of you. Love you. I'll do it. Yeah. Who's going to run the board? Garrett. I can do it. Sienna can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do both. All right. Let's see.

1:40:57Okay, I got this clip for you that I want you to hear. It's Anderson Cooper. He has now had to move to a secret location because, you know, in Egypt, they're now targets. Wow. Good evening, everyone. We are coming to you live from Cairo tonight from an undisclosed location. I can't tell you where we are, frankly, for our own safety. There's a lot of journalists now who've kind of gone to ground here in Cairo, and that's the situation we're facing. Journalists don't like to become part of the story, but unfortunately they have been made part of the story here over the last 24 hours. Wouldn't it be great if what you see is like really low-grade video, almost night vision because it's a secret location. All of a sudden the lights come on and it's a maid and he's actually at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills. Room service. She comes in. She's like, I come to turn the bed down. Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I did not know. I'm so sorry. I come back. No one ever stayed in this presidential suite before. This room, $13,000 a night. We don't usually have anyone in here. Oprah's been here. But that's it. That's it. Well, no. Oprah, Tiger Woods.

1:42:19Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and that's it. One time, Brad Pitt and Spielberg put their money together to stay here one night. And you now, Anderson Cooper, Andy Cooper. Systematically, we have seen journalists attacked. We have seen cameras taken down. We'd like to be showing you, instead of this picture, this strange image of us sitting on the floor of an undisclosed location in dim lighting, we would like to be showing you pictures, live pictures, of what's happening in Liberation Square right now. But we can't do that because our cameras have systematically been taken down through threats, through intimidation, through actual physical attacks. There are no live cameras that we can get access to right now. Hang on just a second. Yes, who is it? Hang on just a moment. Word. We're underground right now in an undisclosed location. Here is Sienna. Oh, well done, my dear. Did you hear the latest? She doesn't know. Guess what? I'm doing something else? No. You guys thought it was mortifying. It's mortifying. Everyone was staring at me. And it's one thing to sound crazy, but then to look crazy, too. I mean, it was packed. And everyone was staring at me. I almost cried. Sienna.

1:43:39You're a trooper. Tell them your husband likes Asian men. Guess what? What? I'm going to go do it. You are! Oh, my God. You just totally made up for it. Thank you. That was the reaction that we were hoping for. You want to run the board? Yeah. Okay, so we'll have to do it after the next break so I can get down there. You got to bolt. Chris will take you. Chris is like, really? Oh, yeah. They may need to charge the video camera for a sec unless someone else has a video camera. You can use your cell phone. No, I'm going to use my cell phone to call. Oh, use my cell phone. Okay. I just plug it right in. To film? His cell phone. He's going to use my cell phone. We'll figure it out. We'll use my cell phone to film. Yeah, you got a movie camera on there. Oh my gosh. My heart was racing. He's going to go to either Burger King or the dry cleaner. Sienna wants him to go to Starbucks. I don't want to go to Starbucks. No, go to Burger King. I think you should go to Burger King. All right. Did I do okay, really? Oh, yeah. You were awesome. I walked out of there like, I'm a total failure. No, you did great. No. It's not easy. I can't believe you. Oh, my God. When I do that, I have to psych myself up in the car like, I can do this. Come on, idiots. See, I didn't do any of that. I didn't know how bad it was going to be until I walked in and saw how crowded it was. There was a little girl who was probably like six, and she stared at me the entire time. She didn't take her eyes away from me. Oh, wow. She was just like, huh? What?

1:44:59Why does she have it on her head? Why do I have the ugliest wig ever? Here's the thing. I haven't done a radio stunt, you know, like, wackiness. Yeah. Since, like, I can't even remember. I've never done anything where I go out in public. Really? I've done, like, the things where you ride a motorcycle through a hedge and stuff like that. Yeah, well, we'll give it a shot here in just a minute. Oh, I can't wait. All right, you ready to do some news, Sienna? Oh, boy, yeah. Well, wait a minute. Before we do that. I told you that Skittles was coming in with EBW. Yeah. And they've been waiting out in the lobby area. So Woods, let them in. What's up, pimp? Hey. What's up? What's up, pimp? What's up, my brother? You have red hair. That's right. Introduce yourself. Yo, man, I'm Skittle. That's my boy. Skittles with the S and the S are cash signs. Dollar signs. Dollar, dollar bill, y'all. Are you trying to be like Eminem or? Who? Oh, okay. We don't know who that is. You guys met because you were buying her turtle. Yeah, man. I like turtles and I want to get a tiger, a Bengal tiger one day. But you're starting with a turtle. Yeah, I started with a turtle. And work your way up to the... Well, I met EBW Eskimo. EBW is what you call me. Just dubs. And man, she's hype. She is your manager. Producer. Producer. Yeah, slash manager slash friend.

1:46:28You know, homegirl. You guys produce your stuff on her Mac laptop. Yeah, all original beats. She does a lot of beats, and I just lay down the track and look in the cut and the rhyme. I heard they're not original beats. I heard they're loops that are actually built into GarageBand. No, I don't know who told you that. What's GarageBand? I don't know what he's talking about either. It's the computer that she uses. She had invented her own program. She did? Yeah. What is it? EBW Beats. EBW Beats. No, it's not actually that. It's Bro Tools. It's Bro Tools. I call it EBW Beats. Okay. Okay. So you're here today. Yep. Because? We got a new track from my boy just in time for the... The snowstorm that's happening all over the country. Yeah, man. We was chilling at her dad's house in La Jolla. We was watching a movie. No, we weren't. We snuck into a movie theater. We snuck in. Nah. What's the matter with you? We snuck in. See, she tries to play the scene. Well, her dad's got this movie theater in the back.

1:47:35We snuck in there. We watch 8 Mile. She tries to make it seem like she lives out of her car. She doesn't. She lives in a mansion for a dad's house. We snuck in. We had to break in. I had a crowbar. You had a crowbar. That was the AMC. Got it. Wow. He has freckles. Yeah. Red hair. Red hair. Okay. So we was watching the weather and I said, man, this weather is whack. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you feel that it will impede you getting in? What do you mean impede? Do you feel that it will get in the way of you getting into rap music, the fact that you wear glasses? No. Why would that impede anything? What do you mean? I impede these glasses. He impedes the glasses. Does that make sense? Glasses don't impede him. Well, he's got the whole thing, like the flat bill hat. Yeah, it's cool. He's got on a white t-shirt with a basketball jersey. Yeah. Jane.

1:48:34Money sign for Skittles. Right, but he's also got... Dollar bill. Dollar bill. Yeah. He also has... But he also has red hair. That's okay. Yeah, we're hoping to get to the $5 bill. He's holding up $6. It's all about it. That's what I'm about. You're a baller. Make it rain. Make it rain. You can't make it rain with a five and a one. No, you can't make $6 really rain. Make it rainbow. No, you just pushed a single and a five. I make it rain every night on the rig. Make it rainbow. Get it? Paste the rainbow. So, Skittles. What's up? You can't just keep doing the $5 in the water. Red hair, flat bill cap, glasses. Yeah. Are you ready to play the track? Yeah, lay it down. What's it called? It's about the weather? Don't worry about it. It's called winter. Yo, DJ Jay. Yeah. Spin that. What's up? It's your boy Skittles back. What's up, BB dude? Hey, what's up? Where you been, girl?

1:49:37Tori. Tori. Yeah. You guys just having a conversation? Let's kick it. Is this a wrap? One time. Ow, man. You just kicked me in the leg. White girls. White girls. Yo, yo. I want to rap about the weather. Because it's wet. Snow. Wind. Ice. Wintry mix. Chicago. In New Jersey. Yeah. No San Diego. Snow. You already said that, though. Ice. It's winter. You're saying things. Skittle. Skittle. Skittle. Ice. Yeah, yo, man, that's all I got this morning. Wrap it up. Wow. It's hot. That's it. Actually, it's cold.

1:50:43Yo, girl, you crazy. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. White girls. That's harsh. And true. Absolutely terrible. iTunes seemed to like it. All right. iTunes. He's number one right now. He's our friend. iTunes. All right. When we come back, I'll be at either a dry cleaner or the Burger King. I got to take that six bucks. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. Wait till you get outside. You want to vomit. I'll do it later. Can we? I don't have... I gotta go. We can't do it later? No, they're scheduled. Oh, man. All right. Mike? Mike? Hello. Miguel? Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? Nervous. Where are you? Out in front of the dry cleaner. Are they open? Yep. Okay.

1:52:10So is the UPS store. Do you want me to go into either one? I want you to go into the dry cleaner. Wherever is more crowded. Okay, I'm going into the dry cleaner. How many people are in there? Nobody. When you walk in, you say, good evening. Good evening. I'm good. What do you guys do here? What do you guys do here? Dry cleaning? Dry cleaning. Can I buy a shirt? Can I buy a shirt? No, we don't know. What do you do with the jackets that get left behind? What do you do with the jackets that get left behind? Okay. You donate it. I spilled horchata all over my poncho, and I'm not sure if it can get cut out. I spilled horchata all over my poncho, and I'm not sure if I can get it out. Can you do that? Can you clean that?

1:53:17Yeah, I can. You can? How much would that be? What about enchilada sauce? Yeah, and they're pretty good. And what about, like, enchilada sauce? If I spelled it enchilada sauce while I'm there, would it come out? It was my quinceañera over the weekend, and we got real wild. It was my quinceañera over the weekend, and we got, it was crazy, and so I ended up getting both on the poncho. Do you like horses? Do you like horses? Do you play the ponies? Do you play the ponies? I have a pony. I have a pony. But anyway. His name is Sprinkles. His name is Sprinkles. I am going to bring the poncho later, and then we will see if you can clean it. Okay. Can you use gasoline? Okay. Do you use anything on there, like strong, like gasoline on there? No. I'm in a mariachi band.

1:54:18Okay. I'm in a mariachi band. Would you like to come see a show? Would you like to come see a show? I'll make you VIP. I can make you VIP. Yes, I have a card. I can make you VIP. This is my documentarian. He's making a documentary. This is my card. Can you come over? I want him to make sure he gets this. I have a card. I'm going to give you my card. Do you like La Bamba? This is my card. Do you like La Bamba? This is my card. So, okay. Do you like La Bamba? Do you like La Bamba? I'll sing it for you. Okay, I will sing it for you. Right now. Right now. Hey, whatever happened to Lou Diamond Phillips? Whatever happened to Lou Diamond Phillips?

1:55:22They don't make them like that anymore, do they? They don't make them like that anymore, do they? Okay, I will come back. Okay, feast. Thank you. Okay, feast. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Here, I'll play it for him. Oh, my heart. Oh, my heart. Oh, my heart is beating so fast. Oh, you did so good, dude. that I was able to be your Mexican clown. You just call it a clown. We're happy too. I just call it a clown. That's right. That was unbelievable. You did great. You did so good. How many people were in there? It was just me and my documentary. Your documentary. It's the best one you can just talk. So there wasn't like 45 people like there was for me?

1:56:28It's almost worse. No. It's almost worse that it was just them. It's so much more embarrassing. A showdown. Because people see you and they're like, you're up to something. Wait, wait, wait. Roll the window down. Stop and roll the window down the next direction. You guys drove over there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we had to. Yeah, you have to. I do every time. Be able to get there fast. You want me to ask somebody something random? Yeah. How do you think the Chargers are going to do that next year? Well, wait, they walked away. Of course they did. They walked away. They saw me and they walked away. They probably thought that I would be a Mexican ugly bandit. I can just, you know, make it a Sienna show for a little bit. What could I say? What could I say? What could I ask? It's a very pretty girl. What do I ask? Does she like Tommy Bahama? No, I can't ask that. Yes, you can. Why? That doesn't make sense. You can and you will. Just do it. Ask her. We already passed her. I need to say something like, hey, do you know where such and such is? Cheetahs. Cheetahs. Like a salon. Do you know where the dance studio is? Yeah. That guy. Yeah. That guy. Okay, I'll ask this guy if he knows where the dance studio is. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

1:57:50Excuse me. Excuse me. No, he left. Wow. Do you ever feel like a leper? Let's see. Let's ask somebody over there. Wow, I have poor Chris driving in his car around. Like, every time I say something, he turns a different direction. That guy. We can ask that guy. Let's go around to that guy. Give me a name of a salon. Torse. Torse. The Torse Salon. All right, let's pull up this guy. Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the Brash Tors Salon is? I think it's in the Ralph Shopping Center. It's called the, I may have the name wrong. It's either the Brash Tors Salon. Brash Tors. It's the Brash Tors Salon. You've never heard of it. What about Bubbles? What about Bubble Spa? I am not saying that.

1:59:00Mikey. Okay, we've got to get back up there. All right, come on up. All right, all right, all right. Good job, buddy. Man. He's a bold man. He's screaming at me. Should I hang up on you now? Sure. Okay, bye. Bye. Think this freaks him out? Yeah. We're up here on the show. No, we're... And he's not. Stop it. He's fine. What the hell? I have your recap in front of you right now. Oh, okay. And I see there's another huge day at the Woods family house. Today will be a huge day. Tell us what's happening. Today, my wife and I are having our social worker over for the first time. In case you don't know, Woods and Jamie are about to adopt a baby. Baby boy. Brand new baby in March is the due date. Colorado. He's going to be here early March. And we were supposed to be there last Sunday.

1:59:59I psyched myself all up all week. I was nervous. I was in a bad mood. I was, like, anxious. I wanted to get it over with. Sunday morning rolls around, and she was sick. She had the flu. Your health probably was immaculate. It was immaculate. And so we couldn't do the deal. So it was like going to trial, and you get in there, and the judge is like, I'm going to put this off for another week. I'm not in the mood. And you're like, oh, my God. I was so ready. So she'll be there today for. Like four hours. And then tomorrow, more hours. Do you know what they are looking for? Do you need to have all the baby stuff ready? Today is the orientation. So they're going to walk us through some more of the process. Four hours worth of walking us through the process. Then tomorrow morning, she'll be there at about 10. She's going to stay until about 1.30 or 2. Are you guys doing barbecue or what? No, we're not doing any barbecue. Do you guys have a crib set up? Our crib is being delivered next Tuesday and is being assembled. But you have the bassinet, which is in your room. We've got bassinet. We've got jumpy stuff. We've got clothes. We've got more stuff than you know what to do with. Look, here comes Speedy. Wow. Great job. Andele, andele. So, yes, we're very excited about our weekend. Nice. Ready to get this process behind us. True or false? Someone on Facebook mistook your son for a dog. That is true. That is not false. Okay.

2:01:21What did they say? I said, I just looked up our new baby's name and it means a lover of hounds. How great is that? Which is great because we've got five dogs. And I just said, man, how perfect is that? And somebody, a friend of mine's mom from back home goes, you're getting another dog? Please don't get another dog. And if you do, don't name a dog with two syllables. And I go, it's a baby. A human baby. It's a real human baby. Because he calls his dogs babies. How you doing, Mike? I'm doing great. You did great, buddy. You did really good. That was scary. That was awesome. Okay. Are you guys ready? I have an email. I really enjoyed sitting in your spot. Was it fun? I love it so much. Easy. Chris is going to edit the video and get the video on. Oh, the wig. Okay. This email says, hey, Mike, feel free to read this on the air. If you think it would make a good topic for your show. I'm really curious to see what you guys think about this terrible situation that I'm in. My buddy, who has always been kind of a prankster, had one of his girl friends text me a sexy pic with some pretty suggestive language. Wow. What kind of a prank is that? Send those over to us so we can see what those are all about. The gist of the text was, I really want to see you again and dot, dot, dot. This was a prank.

2:02:51Yeah, getting them. My girlfriend saw it when I opened up and obviously now thinks I'm cheating on her. Well, when I opened my phone up is what they meant to say. I've had her talk to my buddy about it, but she thinks that he's just covering for me. She's not buying that it was a joke and when Maddie. Oh, my God. You're a dead man. Yeah, she probably has some insecurities maybe from a past relationship or something, and you're dead. You're dead. I wonder how sexy the pic was. Like, what kind of girl is that? Well, what if she doesn't have insecurities? I think that's still pretty gnarly. Yeah. But that she doesn't believe him. She's not mine. How do you get out of that, though? Maybe she wasn't insecure, and now she's like, you're a dirtbag. Yeah. Woodsy likes pranks. I love pranks. You're a prankster. That's not a funny prank. Would you do that one? When I say we, my old friends and I, we used to pull a lot of pranks. We wouldn't do anything that bad. But we would get on. My friend Dan was dating a new girl. They'd been dating for two weeks. He would go on a phone call and he'd walk into another room. And we would get on his computer and we would Facebook his new girlfriend and tell her just how much I really like you. And I'm just so happy about how this is going. And I really see a future for us.

2:04:10Oh, that's so mean. And it was, she would be like, really? And he's like, great. I got to marry this broad now because of you guys. So we would do pranks like that, but we would never be like, you know, from another girl or something like that. My jaw dropped open. It doesn't seem like a prank. It seems more like a, hey, buddy, I'm your buddy helping you out, giving you a chance to look at a sexy pic of a girl. Like, it just seems like a stupid prank. It does. It's stupid. So when the guy would Facebook the girl, would he then tell her, hey, my buddies? That wasn't me. He had to make that phone call of, listen. He didn't have to. He had to. He had to. He had to tell her. Your friends? Yeah, he had to tell her. Because you're not prepared to say that to her. Right. They had just started dating.

2:05:03And we're like, hey, I just want you to know I could see myself falling in love with you. Oh, my God. You're mean. But that's not saying I'm so in love with you. No, but it's pretty bad after two weeks. It's bad. But it's bad. It's bad. It might as well. And, you know, they're at the age where all of their friends are getting married. I have a few stragglers left. And she's the same age. And she's like. Finally. I finally met somebody. I had found the man that I'm going to marry, and obviously he feels the same way. That's so mean. Monsters. Poor girl. M1 Curly from Carlsbad was in a similar situation, right, Curly? Yeah, this happened to me a while ago. What happened? You know what? I have a buddy. He's my best friend, but his favorite thing to do is really mess with people, and he just thinks it's funny to suddenly be in the worst position. But he did something similar. He has a program on his phone where he can... call you or text you from a number that's not his and he was texting me all these like different phone numbers like crazy you know sexy texts and uh my girlfriend started seeing a pile up on my phone she's dying she's not she's not having oh my gosh and maybe you delete him well what happened was i finally got him to you know we all went out one night because come clean this is this is really

2:06:31Yeah, but what if she thinks that you just had him do that? Cover. Because boys will cover for boys and be like, dude, you've got to tell her that you sent those texts. You have to or it's over. No, and she ultimately, he talked to her. And the worst part about it is it's the worst when he was sitting there going, oh, yeah, we sent those texts. Because he thinks it's hilarious. So he's laughing about it while he's telling her. But it's not working for me because she's like, this dude's laughing. This isn't funny. But ultimately, she got to believe him. Anyhow, it changed not so much my dynamic with him because he's my best friend. It changed my dynamic with her, of course. It suddenly became like trusting me no matter what. And if I can't even get the person that played the prank, explained to you and have you understand, then why am I with you if you're not giving me that 100% relationship? She totally changed things. Yeah. To where, you know, actually, to be honest, I cared less how much she trusted me because I knew I was telling the truth and she still didn't believe me. then you're resentful because she's not believing you. She's got the proof that she needs. Thanks, old buddy, old pal. Yeah, thanks, bro. Are you at all upset with your friend? Hello? You got mad. Well, I mean, seriously, that is emotional terrorism. I know people like that. I know guys like that that just, it's misery loves company.

2:08:05And if I'm going down, you're going down in flames with me. Are you calling me miserable, L.O.B.? No. No, but guys especially, they do not want their boys to be in a relationship if they're not. If they're not. And they're like, you're going down and I'm going to make things really awkward for you and your new girl or your girl. And not only that, but it would criticize you because you're in a relationship and all you do is hang out with her. Oh, you're so whipped. Oh. If you saw those messages piling up. on BFMC television. Oh my gosh. I would believe him, but I would be like, why are you friends with that guy? If he explained, I'm like, why is that funny and why do you think that that person is funny if that's their sense of humor? That sounds like a big D. She'd believe him and then subpoena phone records. No, I would probably look out. and make sure, like, it wasn't just a big thing I was being fed because the worst thing is to think that everybody else is in on something and covering up something and you're the one that's like, do-do-do. Yeah. What's that like? Stop picking it up. Gosh, what? Stop. You're such a monster. Am I? M1 Crystal from Vista. Hey. Hi. How do you want to do? Good. All right.

2:09:31I want to know how these guys replied back to these texts. They see they got these sexy texts, and there's no... How did they reply back to them? Don't text me that, or who is it? I don't know. I don't know if he even did, you know? No. Because I think she saw it, and he's like... Yeah, she was there. She said, what's that? Sure, I don't know. M1 Wicked Promotion side? Hey, guys. Love the show. Thanks. Hey, I'm not buying it. I think this guy got caught. I mean, immediately when he said it, I'm like, no, sorry. What chick's going to be like, oh, yeah, I'll take a sexy pig and send it to your friend? I know. That's what I was thinking. What's his motivation in writing it to us, then? To, you know, make her believe. Maybe his girlfriend listens to the Mikey show. To even make it even more believable. Yeah. That he didn't do anything wrong. I do think. That's quite a master plan. He's a mastermind. Well, I would want to know how sexy that pic was because what kind of girl would be like. Yeah, take a picture of my boobs because it would be a really funny prank. Right? To really jack up his girlfriend. Unless they were just boozing it up a little bit and she's like, okay, I'm done. You know, she could have done something like that or push them together.

2:10:52Yeah. You know, maybe kiss one of her friends. You got it. Blow a kiss. Blow a kiss. We got it. We know what I understand. M1 Josh from Claremont is on the same train. Whoa. Josh, you there? Yes, I am. You think he's using the Mikey show? I think he is. I think what happened was he got caught up in too much, you know, wanted to say it was a prank, wasn't working with his friend, and he's bringing it all the way to the radio to make this work for him. Wow. I don't think he's in the right. You know, he's scandalous. Raise your hand in the studio if you think that's the deal. Two, three, four. All women, weird. All the women. Every girl in here thinks it's all girls. No guy raised their hand. No. Every girl in here raised their hand that that is what is happening. The guys all go, it's pretty genius, actually. It's pretty genius. I'm going to try that. I'm going to move that one. The guy knows what he's doing. That's awesome.

2:11:50That would be very elaborate. That would be extremely elaborate. That's more of... Girls think that because girls are elaborate. We would come up with something like that because we overthink everything. That's why we think he's doing it. Guys don't think that deeply. With people who make such elaborate schemes to be able to pull off cheating, why don't you just stay single and just keep playing? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why as a guy that used to be a monster. Because as sick as this is, you love the girl. You do. You love her. You don't want to lose her. You don't want to lose her. You really like her. But then some girl comes along and you go, I'm going to mess around. Yeah, it's awful. Awful. Control yourself. You realize girls do that too. They do? Absolutely. Do what? Cheat. I'd never have. Me neither. I haven't. I don't know that I've ever met a girl that I've said, have you ever cheated? And she goes, oh, yeah. Tons of times. Several times. I think every girl. I know. Maybe to another girl. But I think that to every girl I've ever asked that question, I think the answer is.

2:13:13No. Absolutely not. Because we don't cheat as much as you pigs. What are you, a dirtbag for even thinking that? Of course I haven't. If we were dating you or wanted to date you, we would probably say, no, I've never cheated. But if you guys are asking me as friends and you guys are like my family, I'd be like, yeah, you know, I did. I wish I didn't. But that's not true. Yeah. Never have. Exactly. Haven't I? Never have. Never have. Really? A bit. No. It's a sign of integrity and character, which apparently you two do not possess. Well, I do now. Now I do. I do now, but I didn't. I was the worst integrity. In high school and stuff like that, people just do what they want and slip up. In high school? Cheaters? In college, too. I think it happens sometimes. Every once in a while. And people within 30s and their 40s, too. Well, here's the thing, Sienna. Guys are wired to cheat. We're animals. That's basically what it is. It's not their fault. It's biology. That's what they'll say. I'm just saying that's where we're headed with this, aren't we? You know, a lot of times guys are cheating with girls that have boyfriends. I know. A lot of times.

2:14:36Some women are way worse and they cheat way more and they're just as scandalous. I agree. Witches be crazy. That's where that came from. I think you should believe Lauren and I because you know that we're telling you. You guys, I believe you both. I know some dirty birdie scandalous little who was out there. Yeah, I do too. It always shocks me when I hear how. scandalous women are. It shocks me. Me too, dude. Me too. Because I just don't think of them that way. They're better at it. Women are more of like the serial daters. Like they'll be in a relationship if they're the cheating type. Cheat on them. Then they'll end up with the guy they cheated with. And then they'll just keep doing the same thing. Cheat on that guy. Cheat on that guy. Then go with the next guy. Does this make sense to you? It skeeves me out. Eddie Murphy put it the best I've ever heard it. Men are dogs and women are cats. Cats, you let the cat out, you don't see him? You don't even hear from them. They just slither around the neighborhood. They might get in some garbage, but you know what? You ain't going to know about it. You let a dog out of the house. He's ripping up the garbage, tearing up the yard. You come back, you're like, what the hell happened? Women are cats. They're real. That's brilliant. You know what it is? I totally agree with that. You know what it is? They fly under the radar. We're big and boastful. It's like this. You don't expect. We're smart.

2:15:53You don't expect that an airplane is going to be rock climbing. You just don't suspect that. Right. It flies. That's what it does. It lands at the airport and flies. So when you find out that it's got like rock climbing shoes on and there's an airplane crawling up a wall and it's like trying to find its footing, you're like, whoa, that's weird. Like a miniature Buddha covered in hair. I love that drop. I'm not sure why. Yeah. You were being really wise. Yeah, you were being really wise. You're like a miniature Buddha. Covered in hair. Covered in hair. Not so much hair. All right. I didn't get that. Because the airplane and the rug climbing. Yeah. But it's true. They are sly, man. They know how to do it. Yeah, they do crazy stuff. Cover up our tracks. Crazy cats. Which would be crazy. Unless they want to get caught. Got new movies coming up. Let's make some noise in the studio. We got a live studio audience in here. White Stripes broke up. Made it official two days ago.

2:17:39Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. Sienna, what's going on in news? The San Diego Association of Governments is making an effort to replenish sand on all of our local beaches because we've lost a lot. How do we know that, by the way? Well, it's because of decades of construction and building dams for water. I'm not sure how exactly they know, but I think you can just tell. It's all in my bed. And in my garage is where it is. They want to add 1.7 million cubic yards of sand to beaches from Oceanside to Imperial Beach. It's going to cost the project between $800 billion jillion. $22 to $25 million. And most of the money would come from grants from the state's Department of Boating and Waterways. Wow. Pretty crazy. Maybe we build a stadium, keep the football team here. Yeah, that's a good idea. Is that an idea? I'd rather have beaches. Oh, they're not going anywhere. Yeah, they are. The houses will get hit if there's not enough. Sports teams just thrive so much. You know, do they go there with like a stick and they put it in the sand and they're like, oh, we're short. We're a little low. That's what they do. We're two quarts low. We're low. So this is pretty crazy. A 12-year-old girl.

2:18:44She was going through a package of candy hearts that her dad got her at a discount store for Valentine's Day. Now, this must have been last year or else he gave them to her early. It had to have been given to her early because it's in the news now. It was her Christmas present. That's right. She was going through. I thought it was nice. Year old. She was going through the hearts that usually say, you know, be mine, I love you, whatever. This one didn't say this. This one said. Enormous, huge. Nice blank, which was a crude reference for breasts. Oh, wow. Wow. On the Valentine heart. No way. Mixed in with the other ones. And her dad was shocked when her dad saw it, you know, when the daughter saw it. So he emailed a candy maker. Now he's suing for $50 million. He's not suing. He doesn't have any plans to sue. Thank goodness. One person that doesn't want to sue. Wow. But I'm not sure. Wow. Nice. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. Wow. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, this Sunday is a big football game. It's the Super Bowl, and it's the Green Bay Packers against the Pittsburgh Steelers. And they were talking to quarterback Aaron Rodgers yesterday, and they asked him, do you guys still script your first 15 plays of every game as they used to do? Here's what he said, cut to. We don't do that anymore. We talk about first thoughts, you know, things we might call early on in situations, but we don't do the...

2:20:08the first 15. I think the biggest reason was we didn't always follow it to the T. Why? I love that because they're like, we're going to script these out real good. They get out there, they're like, never mind, let's get them. It sounds a lot like our show some days when we just kind of wing stuff. We script it out, but you got to just go with it. Sometimes you just go with what's working. And then also the thing I'm probably most excited about the Super Bowl is without question. The halftime show. Sarcastic, clearly. Black Eyed Peas are going to be performing. But everybody, relax. They're going to keep their playlist real quiet. They're not telling everybody what they're going to play yet. Gosh, if we knew, we might not watch it. I know, L.O.B. We'd be like, where's the excitement in that? We're building suspense. Now, they are saying that Usher will be up there with them. We'll look forward to that. And Slash. And Slash from GNR, formerly of GNR. Chances they play tonight's going to be a good night. I hope so. It's the one I like. Chances Fergie will scream, Everybody put your hands ago! What's wrong with that? Chances Fergie will look really farty. They're doing 100%. I heard they're doing a 15-minute medley of all their big songs. I love the medley. And they're going to have costume changes. Oh, boy.

2:21:30Fireworks, I'm sure. Christina Aguilera singing the national anthem. Ooh, now you're talking. John Mayer is redoing his image. He's doing an image makeover. Now, this is what reports are saying, and it's because... of his bad boy image. Apparently, I don't know if this is true, but girls come up to him and are just like, you're a dog. Oh, wow. I didn't do that. I didn't say he was a dog. I said he was a pig. So you would walk up to him and say, you're a pig. Make love to me. I mean, he has said that girls will say stuff like that to him before, and I don't know exactly what the girls say, but because of it. Yeah, I don't think he's having any problems in the girl department. Nah, the guy's a swordsman. He's fine. Oh, wow. Swordsman. So he's doing some sort of an image makeover. What can he do? The problem is he can't get A-listers anymore because they're all like, uh-uh, I'm not going to ruin my career by going with you. He's had them all. He'll have another. Yeah, he will. I know who he wants. Who? He wants the girl that was on that 70s show. I always forget her name. Mila Kunis. That girl or Scarlett Johansson.

2:22:39He's going to get them both. Probably at the same time. Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo. She did. This is apparently her fourth tattoo. She has a heart tattoo on her little finger. The word love inside her ear and the phrase just breathe underneath one of her boobs. Now this is supposed to be on her rib cage. And I don't know what it is, but she was spotted walking out of the tattoo parlor and had some bandages under it. Really? Yeah. On her ribcage. On her ribcage. Ow. We have a listener that knows what it is. What is it? A dream catcher? It's like Escamore Blue on us. There you go. She is having a rough time with her parents' divorce, and she's acting out. Hey, tell me the deal with the cell phones in the California prisons. What's the deal with that? Well. Obviously, people in jail are not allowed to have cell phones, but the prison guards are. And prison guards, unlike visitors, don't have to go through the metal detector when they're coming in. So what prison guards are doing is selling cell phones to people in jail that will spend thousands of dollars. And there was a report saying that one of the prison guards, who obviously got fired when they found out, made over $150,000 in a year just by selling cell phones. Wow. So it's becoming a problem. And now the jails are thinking, okay.

2:24:01OK, well, when the prison guards come to work, we're going to need to search them, maybe not put them through a metal detector or whatever, but at least search them. And prison guards are like, well, that's going to take longer and take away from our money while we're already at work. So we want to be paid for that time. And it's just, you know, this whole debate because, you know, cell phones, if inmates have them, that's how they get drugs and stuff like that. Yeah. Maybe don't sell cell phones and it won't take any time. Let's get a lot of money for it. Beg me a pie. Yeah. With a cell phone in it. This is Uncle Victor for Beg Me a Pie. I married your daughter, Melinda. Married her. I got you a treadmill that you saw on TV. $1,000 paperweight. And then I gave your husband, I gave your new husband free boxes of tools. And then, so bake me a pie for Valentine's Day. I was sober at Lucky's funeral. Gumpy. Remember? And she should bake me a pie. You should marry Melinda. Hey, ma, ma, bake me a pie. If your kid, let me ask you this. If your kid gives you something for Valentine's Day, or if your kid gives you something, what is the, like, time limit on that stuff? What do you mean? Forever. To keep it? No, you can't keep everything. You can't keep everything. The correct answer is forever. You can't keep everything. I think it depends.

2:25:31On what? They gave you depends? No. They whittle. If it's a handmade clay little thing, if it's just art that would hang on a wall like a picture, toss it. But if it's something that's made. You can't keep up with all the art that's brought home. Especially if you have numerous kids. They make frames now where you can store it all in the back and then you just keep slipping different artworks in there. Yeah. Good luck with that. I mean, I'm just thinking like. that they had to come up with a market for that. I think it's awesome. I love my kids, but their art as that age was not good. Oh, Jay. Is that at your giraffe? I don't think so. Yes, Daddy. There are some, though. Like my stepdaughter who's nine, Jenna, I've been around since she was little, little. And so I've seen a lot of the stuff she's done. And there's things like. that you can just tell are meaningful. Even if it's a picture on lined paper that they drew and you'll keep it. But if it's something that they won't even remember drawing, you can get rid of it. But what I always do is I put their artwork on the refrigerator and it will stay there until she gets me something new and then they'll rotate and then it eventually goes to the trash. When I was 12, I wrote my dad a poem that he's kept. He framed it. See, but that's a meaningful thing. It was meaningful to him. So maybe that's the deal. If it's meaningful to you. So if it's good, you keep it.

2:26:47Well, if it's really meaningful. Jay's saying if the kid's not a good artist, you just burn it. Yeah. I'm just saying as a whole, just yellow paint on a paper does not make a draft. Right. I agree. Does it? You know, and like Jake has given me cards because at school, that's what they do. You know, it's like it's Thanksgiving, so you made Daddy a turkey with your hand. Can you throw that away? Eventually, when the holiday passes. Dude, it's like, you know, you got so many. You just get so many. And then you also don't want to feel like, you know, you're so like wrapped up in your kid that you're like, oh, yeah, this is his three-week turd. This is his four-week turd. We had a box. You know, actual turd, you know. It was probably three foot long and about two and a half foot tall. And it was completely full of art of just crazy. And we were like, I don't even, I don't remember any of it. Wouldn't you kill. To have that today. Yeah. To go through with your kids and their kids one day. And you know what? You never do. You never do. You should keep some of it. Like maybe one turkey or something like that. And then maybe if one's better, then you toss the old turkey card and update it. Like I have some of my old stuff that my parents save. I look at it. I'm like, so happy I have this. It's so cute. I was cute. Maybe a photo album.

2:28:04My mom saved everything. Did she? And I mean everything. Dude, and I mean ornaments. I made her in kindergarten. And we still have it. It's an apple. Ornaments you should see. Ornaments we put in the Christmas tree stuff. The safety pin ornament. Reindeer. Got all that bit. I'm going to talk to my friend Aaron real quick. Aaron, I'm going to have you come over to this microphone. Aaron and I met in the most unusual way. Is there a chair? There's no chair? No, we gave him away. Okay, we gave him away. It's okay. Just pull the mic up because you've got to talk right into the mic. It's good that he's not too tall. Yeah, I know. He's a tall guy. We met in a very unusual way. Aaron used to work for DirecTV and came to the house to fix the DirecTV. And we became friends. We just started talking. We became friends. You guys both like TV so much? Yeah, we both like TV. But anyway. He does not work for DirecTV anymore. He got laid off, right? Yeah. But you got a new business. Oh, yes, I do. And it's a detail business. Yes. And he sent me pictures like mirrors. Make your car look like a mirror? Make the cars look like mirrors. My car's outside. Yeah, mine too. Looks like a turd inside too. Let me check real quick. Now.

2:29:24Is it mobile? What do you do? Yeah, it's mobile detailing. I have a trailer that I attach to my truck. Yeah. And I go to customers' homes and take care of their cars. L-O-B. What? She's like, you can come over and detail my car every day. No, I've been looking for a mobile detailer. I bet you have. I have. She's like, I've been looking for a handsome black guy. I mean, I meant what I was trying to say. Detailer. Yes, that's what I meant to say. Sign me up for that. Okay, so if people want to have you come over and do the thing, what do they do? Oh, you can give me a call on my business phone. It's area code 760-590-2377. LLB just wrote it down. Say it again. Yeah. She's like, can I text that too? That midnight? Yeah. After a couple of cocktails? Seriously, you should repeat it though. Yeah, it's 760-760-590. Two, three, seven, seven. Just if you need to. If you need a detail. I'm getting a new car, so I'll have to get my current car detailed so it looks better for the resale value. That's right. It was so funny. It was so funny. During the first commercial break, we take our first commercial break, and I'm walking out of the studio, and Woods goes, hey, hey, hey, and he gets my attention. I'm like, what, what?

2:30:43Lauren immediately starts a conversation. Oh, my God. She was sitting behind me. She's like, hi. Hey, how you doing? So I understand you do car detail. Oh, my goodness. What's the deal with the car detail? Well, I have a car. Could you detail it? That's not what happened. It's precisely what happened. We were talking about lovemaking. Talking about car detail. So, anyway, I've seen the cars that he's done. They're amazing. You do a great job, man. He took cars that looked like they had, like, scratches on them and stuff. And they looked like they came out of a junkyard. And they were customers, cars. And he got done with them, and it looked like it came off the lot. That's perfect for what I need. I'm serious. Have you seen my tin can? Yes, yes, L.O.B. He can make that car look like it was brand new. Are there only certain areas where you'll go, or do you go all over? I try to stay towards North County, but, I mean, I do all over. You live in North County, don't you? Yeah, that's right. All right, one more time with a number, Aaron. All right, it's area code 760-590-2377. Right on. And that's 10-Man Mobile Detailing. There you go. 10-Man. That's awesome. Thank you, Aaron. All right, thank you. Okay, let's see what you think. This is an American Idol contestant.

2:32:10Basically, I'm playing this clip because I want to see what Woods thinks. Weird. Really? Yeah. Maybe he likes it. You never know. Are we? It used to be. You never seen. You know, you're way off on all the notes. Way, way. Way, way. No way. That's who that is. Now I finally know. Yeah, it's Randy Jackson. Let's see. That's gorgeous. How about this guy? What do you think of this guy? Oh, wow. Work it out. Work it out.

2:33:19Oh, wow. Not so much. I hear a voice, man, but I don't think you're ready for 2011, 12, or 13. Yeah, he's got potential. Yeah, potential. He's singing in the wrong range. Yeah. He does? Yeah. He has potential as a taxidermist. No, it's in there. I'm kind of like Steven Tyler in that way. I can just recognize talent. Yeah. That's right. Okay. Let's see. Did you know that there are less oysters? In the world. They're disappearing. They are. Some scientists did some study. I'm looking in the wrong pile here. Why Jay? Because he likes oysters. He goes fishing for them. Oh. Oyster fans. He is? For dinner and lunch from the kids. Got it. A worldwide survey of oysters found that they're quickly disappearing and that 85% of their reefs have been lost and it's because of disease and over-harvesting. And oysters are important to ecosystems. Disease? They filter impurities from the water. They're filthy. Filthy bunch of oysters. Disgusting. No, we're getting them sick. Why don't they use protection? They try with a shell, but we've got polluted water. How about amoxicillin?

2:34:33Yeah, how about the Mexicans stop dumping poo-poo into the ocean? That would help. Chemicals, oil. You know, maybe that would help, too. That's right. New movies coming out this weekend, Sienna? Yeah, I just handed it to you. Oh, that was... Just so you knew, that was coming out. All right. Sorry. The two big ones are Sanctum, and that's produced by James Cameron. I don't know who Richard rocks. Oh, that looks good. It looks good. That's where they jump into that big, giant cage. Oh, that does look good. Question. I don't know if anybody knows about that extreme sport. Jay, do you know about that extreme sport? I mean, it looks like it's a mile down. That's what it looks like. It's probably 300 feet or something. I don't know what it is. I bet it's bigger than that. It's got to be more, right? It's more because they jump and they open a parachute. It says that they're exploring a cave and then when a flash flood cuts off their exit, they have to find their way out of the hole. True story, right?

2:35:34It's a true story. Oh, it's a true story? It's based on a true story. Which means that there's actually a cave somewhere. Somewhere there's a cave. And somewhere there are people. Yes, there are humans. Parachutes exist. And there are caves. And flash floods. Yes. So basically it's based on a true story. Also out, The Roommate with Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly. In. All the way in. High school girl. Thriller. All right, let me do... I'll play a scene from the movie Sanctum. We should explore this section while we're waiting. In. In. Out. All the way. Might be a way out. James Cameron. You have to be in. Waiting for what? Waiting for the rescue party. There are no rescues down here. There are no rescues down here. I need body recoveries. Everyone up there already thinks we're dead. I still think we should sit and wait. Yeah, we've got enough food for the next couple of days. A couple of days, this cave's going to be underwater. Understood? I want to see it. Oh, yeah. Just because of the accents. Oh, yeah. Me too. Is Black Swan dirty? There are some dirty parts in it for sure. They're uncomfortable parts. Yeah. Little girl on girl. Okay. That's super uncomfortable. Really?

2:36:54I mean, if your daughter's in the room with you and you're watching it. Jay's like, ah. No. I was girl on girl. Natalie. That's not uncomfortable. That's beautiful. Natalie Portman. There was like really just like blood and stuff like that grosses me out. And there were scenes where she's like. There's a cut on her cuticle, and she, like, rips back the skin starting from the cuticle to the end of, like, the base of her hand. It's the story of a ballerina that's having a nervous breakdown because it's so kill or be killed in that industry, I guess, or business, whatever they are. I was watching a bad copy that you're, you know, at home, and the screen froze after an hour and 20 into it, and I never saw the end. I can tell you how it ends. Is that the copy I have? Yes. You have the same one. Hopefully yours works. You realize there's a $100,000 penalty for watching that scene. What are you talking about? Exactly. I'm in SAG. It's just a joke. I'm in SAG. I'm in SAG. I'm an actor. I'm an actor. 570-1949 is our phone number. Beavis and Butthead are returning to TV. Aren't you excited? I need TV. MTV's bringing them back. Like 50 now? Yeah. Love that show.

2:38:09I did two in 96. Are you threatening me? A premiere date. Are you threatening me? Corn oil. A premiere date has not been set yet, but it will be back and it will be back on TV. You know why it's great that it's coming back? Because that means that so are all the imitations from the guys in the office. My brother was a huge... You're going to hear that. I can't wait. You're going to hear that from the sales department. It's not. What I was going to say was my brother was a huge fan of them. And he had the book, you know, that have like the sound effects on him. But it was detachable remote control. Well, my little sister with special needs decided to take that into school. And tell people that she needed a TP for her bunghole. Oh, no. And she got sent home for having that. Oh, no. Because she just kept pressing it? She kept pushing it and then being like, oh, oh. Great. Perfect. If you're single and you're a Mikey Show listener, you're going to want to come out to our M1 Valentine's meet and greet. Yeah. It's going to be a week from today, and it's going to be a good time.

2:39:33You know, the weather has gotten a little bit chillier and it's actually affecting your pocketbook. And we're going to tell you how. Hang on. So, Sienna. Mike. How is the cold weather impacting our gas and electricity? Well, because of this cold weather, the San Diegans, all of us have been asked by San Diego Gas and Electric to conserve the use of natural gas and electricity because of the cold. It's affecting supplies. Don't make farting noises. I didn't. Natural gas. The low temperatures have been slowing down the production of natural gas, so less is being delivered. I want Danny to help me with my podcast tonight. Oh, my goodness. Now, if this affects anybody, then okay. You're not going to get to sit with us. Yeah, what if we're sitting by ourselves?

2:40:56You'll be sitting at one table by yourself. You'll be sitting at another table by yourself. We're coming together, though. There's not going to be just chairs waiting for you. There was last time we all sat there. We got there right on time. I got there early and saved seats. No, they had to get chairs for me. Let me explain. We have a company party tonight. We're talking about etiquette for a company party. It's our holiday party. A New Year party. Holiday. It's a holiday party. You know how you really mend your, you know, kind of really attach yourself good with a boss? Make fun of the Christmas party that he's thrown for us tonight. No kidding. Or just show up 45 minutes late. It's not a Christmas party. It's a holiday party. It's a holiday party. You never said Christmas. Well, we can't celebrate Christmas. It's a new year. It's part of the holiday. It's an all-encompassing. Question. Yeah. I am going to say minutes late that you can be to a company. party and in the room i would like people to rate i want everybody to raise their hand right now raise your hand first hang on hang on sienna hang on let me finish hang on everybody's everybody's hand up and now i'm going to say a matter of minutes late and if that's acceptable to you i want you to keep your hand raised and i'll keep going and if you think that that's too late put your hand down okay we have a live studio audience we have a live studio audience

2:42:26Five minutes late. Everybody still got their hand raised. Ten minutes late. Everybody still has their hand raised. Fifteen minutes late. One hand went down. Twenty minutes late. Oh, a lot of hands went down now. A lot of hands went down now. Weird. Twenty-five minutes late. Oh. Thirty minutes late. Okay, the two black guys. Wow. Still have their hands raised. And one girl. 35 minutes late. Okay. Shamed out of it. Okay. The consensus. Most hands went down at 20 minutes. Meaning no more than 15 minutes. Meaning no more than 15 minutes because 20 is inappropriate. Correct. 20 is inappropriate. Yes. So 45 I guess is out of the question. You might as well not go because that's like I had better things to do but I wanted the free meal. Here's what I thought.

2:43:23Can I tell you what I thought? That's exactly what it is. Here's what my thoughts were. What? My thoughts were so many people. And the party's going to go on and on and on. It's not a company. So who's really going to tell? They put the food last year. We weren't told that this was our holiday party. We were told at 9 o'clock that morning, oh, by the way, we've got a little something going on at Phil's Barbecue. Maybe you guys should go. So I came strolling in at 730. Everybody was seated. Yep. The food was about to get packed up, and chairs had to get pulled in for me and BFMC. People were eating. The food was out when we got there, and that was like, get your food, sit down, then there was going to be entertainment. Okay. Yep. 7.15, okay? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Now, see, originally, I had said, because I'm going to carpool with Mike. Well, I say carpool. I drive. But I am going to bring all of us there. Passive Aggressive. No. 6.15, I was going to pick you up. And this morning, Mike asked me, can we move it to 7? And I go, okay. He was happy to. I was okay to. When you said 6.15, you guys live a ways away. Yeah. I mean, 45 minutes without traffic away. Oh, my. And I thought.

2:44:38There's going to be traffic. You're going to be late. I thought the same thing. Really? Even at 6.15? I was like, that's out of character for Woods and Miles. If I leave your house at 6.15, we won't be there by 7? You guys live 45 minutes away without traffic, and that's fine traffic. It's Friday. Friday. It's Friday. The traffic moves north. Yes. It's true. Not on a Friday. Everybody's coming into town on a Friday. Everybody's coming into town. Everyone in the audience. So I'll think you have, what, about 3.15? Yeah. 2.15 together by 7. Just go straight from here. Let's go camp out. I just, you know, I think it's good to make a good impression for our show. So I would be embarrassed if you guys came on. As the leader of our show. Sienna Farrar. I would think. Should we pull the curtain back? Pull the curtain back. Why? You do it. She just slipped my throat. About what? Oh, nothing. I don't remember. What's going on in Egypt? I don't remember. I know it was. I said pull the curtain back, but I don't remember. Sienna. doesn't make a lot of public appearances with the show. Correct. Well, that's why I'm saying. That's because she's on the Mikey show. The show's over at the other station. Oh, that explains it then. Totally explains it. We would hope not. We hope you don't. She's made a few appearances with them. It's not been a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. More than that, hands are going to come down. Yeah. Well, I could say a few things, but I don't want to be impolite. So I'm just going to say, okay, you guys can go ahead and think that. Okay.

2:46:04Here's my question. Here's my question. I have plenty more things to say. Here's my question. If we show up tonight at 730, we're monsters. You might not get food. Like I said off the air, it's more polite to not go. than to show up 45 minutes late. Wow. That's a true statement. Yeah, because I guess you can say, I had other stuff going, I can't make it. And then people are like, okay, cool. We've already RSVP'd, or at least I have. I hope you did too. I did? You're supposed to RSVP. Why? Why? Because they've got to know how much food. Numerous emails. Mikey! You are a smelly pirate hooker. It's okay. It's not okay. To Mike's defense, he says the social graces are not his thing. Sienna, they were spelled out. Since we're opening email social graces. I don't want to tell Mike he's awful in every way. Well, not in every way. No, I mean in this situation. Not in every way. Got an RSVP, bro. Yeah, there's counting heads.

2:47:10What if we didn't RSVP to the baby shower? Exactly. Mikey, your wife sent me an email. I would have flipped out. Mike, your wife sent me a couple of emails. Weird. About the RSVPing. I had to track people down. I was like, hey. RSVP. And they're like, I will. And I go, they need to know how much food they need to get. They need to know how many they can expect. And that was just written on the bottom of the very nice invitation. We've gotten at least three emails. I dare you to show up with a bucket of KFC. I'm like, I didn't RSVP. I didn't RSVP. Show up with sushi. I dare you to bring. With a lawn chair. Let's. I'll bring, like, Claire from the Breakfast Club. Yes. Bento box. Bento box. Let's stop and bring a bucket of chicken. Now you're later. Now you're just being rude. That's offensive to the place. Yeah, that's right. You guys, they have chicken there. I was a debutante, and I will help you. Just trust me. All right? You don't have to be a debutante to answer your email. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Right?

2:48:18I thought this. I thought if enough people from the Mikey show RSVP, it's fine. They would assume that you're going. I thought you said we had to RSVP. So now you did know about it. You just chose not to. Oh, so you did see. Did you think that Rebecca was going to go into your email, read them all. It's Jay didn't put it on his tomorrow email. Jayden. Jayden. Jayden. You didn't know my yesterday email that I'm supposed to. Tomorrow email that I'm supposed to. Your homework. You didn't know. Now I get it. Oh. Jay. Man. I get it. Fine. Blew it again. Let's get Rick R. Jackson in here. I'm going to get him. Go get him. I'm going to talk to him. We'll be back. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it from Mr. Rick R. Jackson. Thank you very much. He is by far. The coolest general manager I've ever had. Well, he's the only one I've ever had, so you're in. Yes, right now you're the best. That's a hell of a couple. Exactly. So we were talking to Mr. Rick R. Jackson about, well, we haven't begun. We're going to have the conversation here on the air. We have not talked to him about it yet, so we're going to talk to him. First of all, you kind of give a state of the union.

2:49:54Sort of thing, right? Where you sort of say hi. Tonight? No. Tonight's just a party. Tonight's just a party. But you will get up and you'll say a few words. Hey, thanks for coming kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I'll do something like that. Okay. Now. Do you need some help with your bits? No. Probably. Last year you said a curse word and I was like, oh, this is going to be fun. So did you. Yeah, she sure did. If the party starts at 7 o'clock, what time? Do you think you might get up and say hi and do your thing? You know how much planning I put into this? She was just asking me what time I was going to get there. I thought it started at 6. I was. Oh, wow. He would have been there. No, you're right. I'm sure it starts at 7. It does. Is it? Does it? It starts at 7. It starts at 7. I'm the last guy there. For sure. Starts at 7. My babysitter's coming at 6. I don't know what it is. I can't plan stuff. But your babysitter doesn't work here. No. How do we know for sure that it starts at 7? Because I looked at the invitation and planned accordingly. At a girl. Okay, so if it starts at 7, what time will Mr. Rick R. Jackson give his Rick R. Jackson? You know, I'll look at everyone and when they start to look restless, then I'll get up. He's going to wing it. And then you can go.

2:51:12Because, you know, the way I look at parties. It's not about going. We don't want to go. We don't want to go. We don't want to go. We're talking about arrival. Arrival. How late is late? Arrival. You know. I don't know. If you get there fashionably late like 7.30, you should be cool. Okay. Let me tell you what Mike said, Rick. So the party starts at 7. He lives 45 minutes away. He said, Woods, pick me up around, like maybe pick me up at 7. Yeah. That means 7.45. At the earliest. Maybe 8. Friday traffic. Maybe 8. That means 8. Now, last year, Rick, we were all there last year. When people got there, they started eating right away, right? And sat down. The food was almost packed up by 7.30. We're going to catch a flight. We're going to catch a flight. We're going to fly in. So it's only going to take us like five minutes to get there. See? Oh, look. This is Mike and Woods. We just got here. Man. We're fine. We're paying you more than I thought. I would say you spoke, if the party started last year at 7, he got up around 7.40. If you were up there talking and Woods and Mike weren't even... We were eating when he was talking. Yeah. Weren't we? We were still eating. About 7.40, 7.45. I'm just making sure, Mike, that you know that you can't be that late. 7.15. That's fine. That is okay. So I'm picking you up at 6. Oh, wow.

2:52:34Now it's 15 minutes earlier than we wanted. 6.15, you'll be fine. 6.15, you can do it. So back to the original 6.15. How long will it take to get there? An hour. Well, I don't live as far as you guys, but I will be leaving at around 6.30, and I live in La Jolla. How long do you think it'll take, Jay? And we're going to Point Loma. I'm not going because it's Jasper's birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Hey, you only turned eight once. It's okay. Hey, you were born. Congratulations. No, birthdays are a big deal. So when your son is born, where are you going to be? I don't know. Probably here at work. You think so? You're not going to be there when he's born. Yeah, I'll probably, you know what, since we get off at 10, I'll probably take him to the jumpy house for seven hours. No, I was talking about when he's born. Yeah, what? On the date when he's born. Yeah, I got to go pick him up in Colorado from somebody else. So I should miss my son's birthday. Yeah, you got to go pick him up. No. Birthdays are a full day. Woods, I'm just, Woods is like really driving this point. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. That's right. Happy birthday, Jasper. Wow. It's fine. It's fine. 7.15, I think, is a good time. Let's all be friends. Let's all be friends. Yeah, that would take about an hour. Friday, nine minutes to go. 7.15.

2:53:417.15. I'll pick you up at 6.15 again. Rick, did you know you were going to walk into the Lions? I know, I know. He's so confused. Every day. I know. Every day. Thank you, Rick. You're a joy, and we love you very much. I can't wait to hear your words tonight. You can have a private talk with Mike after we get off the air. I know you're waiting to do that. He just wants to be appropriate. Oh, wow. What should I talk to him about? About how he thought he could show up at 7.45. And that that would be okay. His dedication to the state. That's the thing about guys is that I think, you know, secretly I think guys just don't want to go to any party. That's not really secretly. Fair enough. It's not really secretly. I don't even want to come to this party and it's my party. I have a question. I have a question, Mr. Rick R. Jackson. Do you remember what Lauren O'Brien sang for karaoke last year at the company party? I think he was gone. Were you gone? I think I did leave because my daughter was coming to town. And you had just sung the Neil Diamond song. Yeah. And then, yeah, everyone told me about it, but I forgot. Everyone, meaning the HR people. Lauren had been working for the company approximately five minutes. She'd been working for the company five minutes. She'd been in radio for approximately five minutes. And here we are at this company party.

2:55:06And L.O.B. shows up and she's got glasses on, right? Yep. And she's got her hair back in a little bun. Yep. And it was cold and raining that night. It was pouring rain that night. Yeah, that's right. I look very emo, very quiet. Yes. Librarian-like. You definitely look like you could work at a library. Very demure. And she decided that she was going to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Oh, that's right. It's a pretty song. By Bonnie Tyler. It's really pretty. How does it go again? Without the bad words. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit tired. Then you're never coming around. They know the words. Turn around. Now, I didn't even know she was going to do this. I had no idea she was going to do this. I did. I also didn't know about the movie. What movie is it? Old school. Old school. The Dan Band. Yes. Inappropriate. And so she gets up a little demure. She gets up with the microphone. She's holding the microphone with both hands. My voice was so tiny that she had to bring a backup mic in and boost it. Yeah, because she was like, turn around. And she goes, every now and then. I don't even know where the F was. I see the F and look in your eyes. And I was like, oh.

2:56:32My goodness. Oh, my goodness. This wasn't like out at a bar with your friends. No. Our company party. Now, I will say this. The first time she did it, I didn't even really think she had done that. That's the point. Because I was like. Did she know? I was like, nah. It was like, you have to see the movie. But in the movie, everyone goes, what? What? Did he just. Oh, is that what she did in the movie? Yeah. Oh, it's a guy. I was doing a scene from the movie. So everyone who hadn't seen it was like. It was pretty funny. Then Mikey's head almost exploded. What are you doing this year? This year I'm just going to fly under the radar. It's a striptease. A burlesque striptease. Moulin Rouge. Someone was going to get a pole. Who got the pole? I thought about it. It was you, wasn't it? I went to a pole dancing class. She did. Are you listening? All right. For the workout. For the workout. Yes. It's pretty crazy. You can bring the pole along with your night. Sing that song. I'm sure Jay will. Holy smoke. Keep it at home. All right. Well, thank you, Rick. We appreciate it. Thanks, Rick. Write me a couple of lines, would you? Oh, yeah. I'll help you out. You need the incorporator up there. You don't need to write me anything. No, I will not. I will not. Anybody have any gigs that they want to talk about that they're doing this weekend? I do. What do you got?

2:57:52Tomorrow night, I will be at Pachanga out in Temecula. And I'll be at 8 o'clock and the 10 o'clock show. Doubleheader opening for Rick Martinez. Rick R. Martinez. Rick R. Martinez. Go to www.pachanga.com slash comedy club or 877-711. The number two. Win. Real quickly, the Palms. I want to thank the Palm Restaurant located at 615 J Street in San Diego for bringing the food in here today. They are on second. They have all kinds of different locations all throughout the country, but they're on J Street here in San Diego. See, my wife, I want to mention this because it's for our friends. We've seen them on TV. Little Angelina, who is... Our neighbor's kid, she's a year old. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers because they find out today if her MRI was all. She's cancer free. And they're doing a benefit for her tomorrow night called Burn for the Benefit. The reason they're calling it that is because it's at Extend Bar, which is a sort of like yoga. Yeah, it's yoga slash Pilates.

2:59:05Stuff like that. And that's in Carmel Valley. And Woods is going to be there. And it's a benefit for her. And it's taking place tomorrow from 6 to 9. So I wanted to mention that. Jay, you got something. Yeah. And next weekend I'm hosting for Spencer Fox to help him walk again. And you can buy tickets. It's at the Belly Up. You can buy tickets now. It's next Sunday. Tickets are $25. Even if you're not going to come, it all goes to help him walk again. Nice. And we're also looking for auction items. So if you have anything, you can donate for the silent auction. Hit me up on Facebook. Hit me up on themikeyshow.com. Help me out. Are we missing any? I got a game Sunday. The Tipsy Crows, 11 a.m., El Cajon High. Go Steelers. Yeah, go Steelers, right? Oh, please, for my sanity. Big Super Bowl party this weekend. End of the show on Friday. I give you my testimony. I've been doing this for a number of years, and the idea is that hopefully there's somebody listening can relate to my story. And I never know what I'm going to say. As a matter of fact, early on Friday mornings, it's one of the things that I pray about because I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what part of the story I'm going to tell or what I'm going to hit on. I just hope that there are ears that are listening right now that can use it.

3:00:37I'm an addict. I was born an addict. I can be addicted to anything and have been. The way that I got that way is insecurity, feeling ugly my entire life, feeling like an outsider my whole life. Have you ever been driving and you had this sensation that came over you like, I think I'm going to cry. You may even be having that sensation right now. I have been there. I've experienced. Loneliness and desperation. And I've experienced low self-esteem. I've experienced all of those feelings. And I've also kept secrets. If there's anybody listening that has experienced any of those feelings, I invite you to go to MikeyShow.com. At the top of the page, it says help. And if you click on that, there's a lot of resources for all kinds of things. Things like addiction and things like depression, eating disorders.

3:01:52All of that stuff. When I was a kid, I was a victim of sexual abuse. And that is something that a lot of people have experienced. But they don't talk about it. Part of the reason that you don't talk about it is because you're ashamed. I was ashamed. I have often said that I think that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And I had a lot of those feelings when I was growing up. A lot of hurts, a lot of sadnesses, and a lot of fears. And I grew up an angry person. Anybody ever said to you, man, you just seem, you're an angry person. If anybody's ever said that to you, it could be that inside of you there's a lot of hurt and a lot of sadness and a lot of fear. When I was 33 years old, I came to the realization that I had a drinking problem. People have been telling me that I had a drinking problem for a long time, but I hadn't come to the realization myself.

3:03:02But I shut the blinds in my place and I'd turn the phone off and I would not answer phone calls. And I was in really poor health. I would write emails to people. And then the next day, I would find that I had written these emails and I would be ashamed of myself. Because they didn't make sense. I'd sent my brother an email or my mother an email or my dad an email. And it didn't make sense. And I felt ashamed. And on top of all of it, I knew I was going to die because I was drinking so much. I was overweight. I was taking pills to go to sleep. If any of this sounds familiar to anybody, know this. There's hope. If right now you're addicted to anything, pills, coke. If today you know you have to buy a bag of dope and you don't want to, you're sick of it, nobody knows about it, then you're the person I'm talking to.

3:04:19I've been there. When I was 33, I gave my life over to Jesus Christ. And everything in my life changed. Everything. It was a slow process. It still is a slow process for me. But what I want you to know is that there is hope. I play a song at the end of the show on Friday. And I really want you to listen to the words of the song. It's by a band called Red. And the song is called Not Alone. And I hope that the song hits you and the lyrics hit you in a way that can change you and change your life. My life has been forever changed. And today, I can't even tell you how happy I am because of it.