The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/08/11
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
kidney stone surgeryword of the day combeskimo blue waters protestles stroud vs bear gryllssuper bowl viewershipchristina aguilera anthem911 marijuana callradio charadesbaby found in toiletkidney stoneles stroudbear grylls
Mikey opened the show by discussing his wife’s recent kidney‑stone surgery and saying he feels youthful at 35. The crew debated Les Stroud’s authentic survival style versus Bear Grylls’ produced antics, and Eskimo Blue Waters revealed her plan to chain herself to the Mount Soledad cross. They played radio charades, shared Super Bowl viewership numbers and critiqued Christina Aguilera’s anthem flub, took a bizarre 911 call about marijuana, and closed with a strange news story of a baby found in a toilet.
What happened, in order
Kidney stone update
Mikey shares that his wife had kidney‑stone surgery using shockwave therapy and says he feels 35 after the procedure.
Word of the day comb
The word of the day is ‘comb’; using it earns listeners a four‑pack of SeaWorld fun cards and a $50 ProFlowers gift card.
Les Stroud vs Bear Grylls debate
Les Stroud is praised for doing his own camera work and surviving alone, while Bear Grylls is criticized as a hack with a crew and staged stunts.
Super Bowl stats and Aguilera flub
The show cites the Super Bowl as the most‑watched TV program ever with 111 million viewers and notes Christina Aguilera’s anthem lyric mistake.
911 marijuana query
A caller rings 911 to ask how much trouble he could get in for growing a single marijuana seedling.
Radio charades game
Listeners guess movie titles from clues; Will correctly identifies ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ and Mesa guesses ‘Taxi Driver’.
Eskimo Blue Waters cross protest
Eskimo Blue Waters (Judy Douche) announces she will chain herself to the Mount Soledad cross to prevent its removal.
Baby found in toilet
Sienna reports a newborn baby boy discovered alive in a toilet at a South Carolina arena after a circus event.
People mentioned
MikeyEdward CahillLauren O'BrienSiennaJayWillGarrettEskimo Blue WatersJudy DoucheLes StroudBear GryllsRussMark KellyChristina Aguilera
29,739 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Morning, every Bubba. It's the Mikey Show, and I'm back and ready to do it up. I even have my Trilolo shirt on. That's what you're listening to. You're listening to Edward Cahill, Russian guy. I recorded this back in the 70s. It's on YouTube, and I love it. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Back in here after taking care of my wife yesterday, she had kidney stone surgery where they used this... shockwave to go through her kidney and explode the stone and then she peepees and it comes out. It's in tiny little pieces. It won't be bad because it's in the tiny pieces. It'll come out just fine. I'm back today and I'm 40. I feel 35 today. I feel 35 today. Really good. Woods is
Actually 35. Yes. How old do you feel? 55. Perfect. Yes. Getting an ulcer from managing Little League, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Never thought it would be so stressful. What's your team called? The Braves. There you go. First game is Valentine's Night. How about that? That's adding to my ulcer, yeah. Yeah. The fact that we've got to go play ball on Valentine's. What time does the game start? Four. Yeah. Lauren O'Brien is a resident comedian on the show. And the shirt that she's wearing is referee-like. It's black and white, zebra, sort of. And she's otherwise known as L.O.B. And what is that, the Burt's Bees that you're putting on there? No, this is Carmex. Carmex. I have some serious dry lips today. My wife's addicted to that stuff. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25 years old. She's what my mother would call darling. That's what moms do. They call girls darling when they're good looking. Let's see. Jay is our producer. He's 47 years old. That's creepy Uncle Jay. He's known for saying some things. He is 47. And he's got on a t-shirt today that says, Coors, make it a banquet. Make it a banquet. That's right.
Think Jay's ever popped an original Coors? Yeah, you think so? Yeah. Think that guy's ever been sitting in a lawn chair at a campsite, cracking open a yellow can? Lighting M80s real good. That was my dad's beer choice when he used to drink, was the original. My dad, too. It tastes not good. I've tried it a million times. I never liked it. My dad would put salt. A little thing of salt right on the lips. Some Texas move. Really? Tasty. Such a Texas move. Wow. Gosh. Nothing better than beer than accentuated beer. Salt. Yeah. Salt. My dad actually used to put a little paprika on his when he would take it down. Yeah. And drink it. Our phone screener today is Will. It's Will. And you can call us, 570-1949. Is our phone number. And you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm back today. I was out yesterday because our program director, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Filled in, did a great job. Yeah. And so, now, I'm going to tell you this. This morning at 7.30, Eskimo Blue Water's local entertainer.
is coming in. She's, you know, 32 years old, although she says she's in her 20s. She also says that her name is Eskimo Blue Waters. In reality, it's not. It's Judy Douche. She says it's Douche because there's some sort of accents on the end. I've never seen that. And she claims that she, you know, is just a musician trying to make her way and really plays that musician role up. Truth of the matter is, lives in a multi-million dollar home with her parents in La Jolla. So she's coming in today. She's making what is a big announcement. In fact, the radio station is going to press release what she plans on doing. And so she's going to make that announcement at 7.30 on the air. The word of the day is comb. When you hear me use that word, which can be tough for a bald guy to be able to use that word. But when you hear me use the word comb between now and 10 o'clock, it's good for a four-pack of tickets to see World War 280 and a $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Don't forget our Valentine's meet and greets Friday. It's going to be a good time. And the meet and greet is going on from 5 to 7 at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. If you're single, obviously you want to come to this. And the single people will get a little race.
wristband so that other people know that you're single. But if you're in a relationship, come too. Yeah. Bring your significant other. Why not? The mother merrier. That's right. Just come out and say hi. And you may meet somebody that you really, what if you fall in love? You could. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. That's not what it's about. It's about meeting people. Yeah. I'm going to fall re-in love with my husband while Jay is singing his love song and we'll be on the dance floor. That's true. My stomach is upset. Jay's worst fear. is singing in front of people. It's his absolute worst fear. And why am I doing it? You're doing it because it's going to draw people out there. Yeah, we said so. Yeah, you said so. And you didn't do it on the Mikey-thon. You skated on it. Yeah, you didn't have to face your fear. That's right. So good. He hasn't told us what song he's going to sing either. I saw you turned it to the M1s last night. I'm interested to see what they think. I think you should sing All of My Life, which is the most gorgeous, most beautiful. love song ever written in the history of mankind. This one's going out to all you lovers. Hope you like it. It's just absolutely gorgeous. I want to grow a pencil-thin beard every time I hear it. It's just absolutely beautiful. I wish you could. He can. I wish you would.
A couple of cool things on the program today. We've got Les Stroud, Survivor Man, is going to be on with us. Nice. I will not bring up Bear Grylls because I don't know if you know this. I've talked to Les before. Both of them do something similar. They're both survivalists. They go out and, you know. He doesn't like Bear. Really? Does he think he's a hack or something? He thinks he's a hack. He thinks he's a hack? He's a faker. He's got two issues, okay? One of his issues is the fact that when Bear got busted for being flown out and sleeping at a motel twice, he did it. And the other deal is that he has a camera crew, and Les doesn't. Les does his own camera work? Takes a camera. Wow, that is pretty... I gotta go with Les on this one. Now, my friend Russ, big time Les Stroud fan, loves Survivor Man, doesn't like... man versus wild for that reason and i told him i go dude a lot of times i watch less stroud he doesn't do he just like he just sits there he's sitting there and i like less stroud he's a survival guy it can be a little boring watching him sitting by a lake for half an hour right i'm like oh wow you did it though bro i mean you were out of lake for seven days you just you know what you ate fish and it's crazy but i mean bear bears eating
You know, like Wolf Kaka, he's out there, Jimmy. He's out there. He's moving, too. He's always moving. Yeah, he's moving. He's doing some crazy stuff. That's a good point because it's, you know, what you're missing on one, you get on another. And what you're missing on another, you get on the other one. Now, Bear does not talk smack about Les. Bear Grylls for Man vs. Wild has no problem with Les Stroud. Les Stroud, he is not. And I think what it is is he understands that there is an immense popularity for Man vs. Wild. And that Bear Grylls is very highly thought of. I think a lot of... Bear girls. I think he can never do the stuff he does. And he's super entertaining. I think some of this stuff is totally set up, though. Like, you see him going, hey, and I happened to find a rope strung across this canyon. And he's got a carabiner. Like, where'd that carabiner come from? He didn't have that a minute ago. Okay, but, Jay, don't you have to give him this? I don't know what a carabiner is. I thought for a minute that was, like, some sort of Mexican carabiner. The thing you use when you're, like, mountain climbing, the little clippy thing. A lot of people use to put their keys on it. No, it is a Mexican carabiner.
Well, here's the deal. What you cannot deny is that you see Bear Grylls pick up camel dung. Yeah. And he's thirsty. And he'll put it over his mouth and he'll squeeze it and it will run into his mouth. And he will drink in order to get nourishment. You see him eat things and they're wriggling. You know they're real. And they have a disclaimer now before the show begins that says many of these things were set up for Bear to be able to exhibit them. Demonstrate. Demonstrate. Yeah. So whatever. I mean, that stuff, I don't necessarily have a problem with I just happen to have this. I'm like, yeah, whatever. The reason that I like Bear Grylls is for the wackiness of what he does. Watching him eat a snake. There's not like it. Watching him stick his hand down into something and pull out a wriggling fish, it's great. I love it. I love watching it. It's gnarly. So anyway, Les, his competition is on the show today. We'll talk to him. Really have a big program for you. And so many things to talk about. I wasn't here to discuss the Super Bowl with you.
Yesterday. But as it turns out, this was the most watched Super Bowl of all time. But even more than that. Right, Sienna? Yeah. Even more than being the most watched Super Bowl of all time. What do we know? It was the most watched TV program of all time. Wow. Yeah. Sunday Super Bowl. Averaged. 111 million viewers. Oh, my. Yeah, which is four and a half more million viewers than last year's Super Bowl. That's a lot. Yeah. That was just to your house, Mikey. That's right. That is a true fact. What's the latest with Christina Aguilera? Oh, my gosh. Well, we know that she botched a couple of the national anthem words while she was singing before the game. She hates America, right? No. That's what I heard. Yeah, I heard she hates America. Wow. I mean, everyone that was there said that they saw her visibly upset. She immediately left right after that, and she addressed the mistake in a statement. She said,
anthem still came through. That is correct. Of course, one of the big stories people are talking about, it's just our culture, is Christina Aguilera, who opened just before the game. She sang the wrong words during the Star Spangled Banner. Yeah. And even worse, the Black Eyed Peas sang their songs exactly right. Dude, I hate to say, and I wish that you were here yesterday, but I didn't want to say it. But I hate to say I told you so. About which one? The Black Eyed Peas. I hate to say it. I really did. I hate to tell you, dude, that I told you so. Well, here's the thing. All I know is that the news is saying that they had a bad performance. I didn't get to view it because Woods wanted me to do some bit with him while the performance was going on. I listened to it yesterday morning because I didn't get to see it either. And it was god-awful. God-awful. What are people saying was the big problem? Fergie. Fergie's mic didn't work. I mean, that's not her fault necessarily. They said the energy was pretty low. They said they just didn't have it. And they said it's the Super Bowl. Maybe a bunch of dudes don't want to see the black-eyed peas. Yeah, that's what I was... You know, that's kind of the thing is like... See, I'm learning. So the black-eyed peas are a chick thing? No, I don't think so.
I don't think so. I was just sitting there watching them thinking about my dad and I'm like, my dad is probably like, what is this? It wasn't about a chick thing. It was about they appeal to a certain niche market and those people happen to go to a lot of shows and buy a lot of CDs and that's why the Black Eyed Peas have been as successful as they are. Well, then that means that the only way that we're going to have a relevant halftime show is if we have... classic rock bands every year. No, you could do Foo Fighters would be good. No, I don't think so. According to Sienna's complaint, her dad and my dad and people that are older who they're trying to appeal to as well, if the logic is, well, the black eyed peas don't work because older guys are going to be like, who's this? Well, older guys are also going to be like, I don't know. You know, I don't know the Foo Fighters from a hole in the ground. It would need to be like the Rolling Stones. Every year. Madonna. I'm down with that. Prince. I got no problem with classic rock every year. But I'm saying I think you could, for men, you know, and for a guy's thing, like football is. I mean, the Super Bowl is kind of, it's bigger, obviously, 111 million people. Yeah, it transcends men. It's human beings. It ain't the black-eyed peas. I think you're going after a certain demographic, too. It's probably like 18 to...
45, something like that, like a demographic. And you get women with those bands too, like the Foo Fighters. Just one man's opinion here, but I think when we're talking the Super Bowl, the demographic is you have a pulse. You're breathing. Which makes it very difficult for the people that are organizing the Super Bowl to find an act that everybody's going to agree on. For me, the Black Eyed Peas is just irrelevant. You go onto iTunes and their music is always at the number one sold albums. It's always one of the number one sold songs. I'm – even at our own Super Bowl party, I'm hearing all these people go, hacks, these guys suck, blah, blah, blah, which I'm always like, wow, really? I thought that the Black Eyed Peas were talented. I thought they had talent. You did? Yeah, I still do. I still think that they sound good. I like the Black Eyed Peas. And I think, you know, there's definitely way worse than the Black Eyed Peas that could have performed. But I also think not only their singing was off, but it was what they were wearing that threw me off. They were wearing these futuristic space costumes that were lighting up. Slash comes out. That sounds terrible. Hideous.
That's Fergie. Hideous. How do you bring Axl out? Wow, that doesn't sound good. It's hideous. Slash was like, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me. What? Does she know the word? She's trying to overdo it. Garrett said they jumped the shark. Yeah. Usher. I couldn't get over his nails. The crotch was at his knees, but he wasn't sagging. Easy hammer? It was so weird. I wonder if the NFL every year tries to kind of bounce back and forth. They're like, this year we'll have an older, and next year we'll have the young relevant. I'm sure they're trying to do that. You know what I mean? Mike, I got an idea for next year. Cage the elephant. Period.
Garrett. It starts and stops with Caged Elephant at the Super Bowl in Indy. It's in Indy, Sienna. Enough people don't know. I don't know, Garrett. I don't know. What do you know? Well, I know. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Calm down, Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Listen. Excuse me. You sneezing? Pardon me. You got allergies? A little bit. All right. Sorry. Garrett. Hey. I'm allergic to enchilada sauce if you ask. Garrett. I don't have enchilada sauce on it. Don't you? I don't. Isn't that what you're drinking from that cup right there? No, that's coffee. It's just regular coffee. Is that decaf enchilada sauce, buddy? You should calm down. What is that, old El Paso in there? You're in a mood. Why don't you try some decaffeinated enchilada sauce? Let's see. Garrett. Garrett. M1 Big Matt from Carlsbad. What's up, Mikey? What's up? Not a whole lot. So I'm listening to your guys' conversation here about the halftime show and everything. They need to get Metallica to do a halftime show. A hundred. That would be good. A hundred. Now, listen.
I would personally like that. But the problem is, is that we're all shooting from our personal preference here. Yeah, but I'm not a Metallica fan. She's not a Metallica fan. She'd like it. You know, but it's, I don't know. It would be good. It would be rocking. It would be awesome. You guys, you realize that a 57, 58-year-old guy, he probably doesn't want to hear Metallica. He probably doesn't want to hear the black eyed peas either. Right. I agree. I agree. So don't we go with relevant. Well, Bruno Mars is relevant. They're not going to throw him up there. No problem. I think that they should go with the classics because even the young people know who they are. Yeah. That's a pretty safe formula. You should have to like earn your keep. Yeah. I mean, listen, if it were like this, if it was like, hey, the person that works for the NFL is like, it's up to me. And they had me doing it. I'd be like, oh, cool. Red. Yeah. We'll just have a red out there. They sound great. Let's have a red. And people are like, what are you talking about? Can you imagine? You like it, doesn't it? And I can't do that. But, dude, okay, you can't compare Metallica and Red or Foo Fighters and Red. You are correct. You are correct. You can't because Red is an obscure band still. They're not, you know. But at the same time, I also can't think that my preference is going to work every time. Sure. Dude, for me, Foo Fighters.
Foo Fighters are good because they're relevant to me. Yeah. I think they're relevant. Yeah. But there may be some older dudes out there that spend dough on beer and cars that are like, what's the Foo Fighters? They say that people over 50 do not matter. Advertisers don't care about people over 50. Who's they? Nelson. Nelson ratings. They don't. Or Nielsen. Nelson. Oh, boy. Nelson and Nelson. Where's the... Just isolate. Yeah, they say that it doesn't matter. People over 50 don't count. No, no, no, no. You're reading the correct thing. It's the band Nelson. They don't matter. Imagine Mikey now playing. It's third day. Right. Hey, let's hear it for third day. That'd be awesome. That'd be great. 570-1949 is our number. And you can also text us 949mikey at gmail.com. It's okay. I do stuff like that too, Jay. What's up with the astronaut guy, the husband of... Representative Giffords' husband, Mark Kelly. Well, as of yesterday, he resumed training as commander of the space shuttle. So he's going back. Oh, happy birthday. Have fun.
Have fun. He's working. He's going back to work. Yes, he's gone back to work 30 days after his wife was shot in the head at the political event in Arizona. Now, to his defense, she's in recovery. She's no longer in the hospital. She hasn't been there for weeks. She's in rehab. She's showing signs of improvement every day. And he said that, and I quote, I have every intention for her to be at the launch. So she'll be there. Yeah, not only that, but I bet for her. It's good to just have life back to normal. Yeah. The launch is scheduled for April 19th. I got you with that one. Listen, it's life back to normal, pal. It's what you want. Moving on. Running on full cylinders and won't have to have assistance to get out to that launch. I'm sure. Sure, it'll be. In her best interest to be brought out to the launch, wherever that may be. Oh, my gosh. I'm sure she wants to go. She wants him to go. If she can communicate that, then have at it. I'm sure she can. I'm sure. She's an independent woman, obviously, to be where she is. And she knows what it takes and the hard work that he put in to get where he is. Just like the hard work she, you know.
If she's communicating that, then she must be good to go. She's probably stoked. Get a little time off from him. He's probably bothering her. Get a little breather. How about this? It looks like Apple is poised to make the iPhone universal. Yep. So as we all know, Apple is... The Verizon is now getting the iPhone, which everyone's very excited about. But while Apple was working on the little chip to go to make the iPhone 4 work for Verizon, they noticed that they can make a model chip SIM card that would work for all phone types like T-Mobile, AT&T, Verizon, whatever ones are out there, the GSM standard they're saying. Boost Mobile. So iPhones may be available to every cell phone carrier. Now what do I do? Yeah. Here's another year. It's supposed to be ordering it at midnight tonight. Well, you like Verizon. Yeah. Yeah, right? But it's the 3G one that's available. Consumer Bob says wait. He says wait until the 4G? Mm-hmm. When's that? Like August? Ah! Oh, my gosh. I can wait. I'm going to wait it out. I'm going to punch myself in the face. Great. And then you get the one in August, and then Consumer Bob will be like, you know, the 5's coming out.
Just get it because you're going to be happy when you have it now. And then if you wait, something better will come out. And you'll be like, I just waited all that time for nothing. Everyone had the 3G last summer. Before you notice me 5G, I'm going to be walking on this 3G like, oh, wait, what's that, a Walkman? No, it's a Discman. It's a cassette player. Oh, man. I'm going to wait for the 4G, but I'm going to get it. I have my order ready for tonight. Wow. I know. Do it. Chances she pulls the trigger. None. Zero percentage chance. No, it's all set. You won't. You haven't hit submit yet. Well, I can't. It's 3 a.m. Eastern time that it's available. You're going to get a new car before you do that? I went to the dealership yesterday. Is that a girl? Did you get something while you were there? No, I'm researching. I'm researching. I have a deal in the works. Deal? I do. Over, under. Okay, wait. New over, under on LLB getting a new car. My birthday, May 31st. Over or under? Under. Over. Over. Over. No chance. Sorry, I'm not made of money. I've got to make long decisions on big purchases. How dare you? I think in the month of February, LLB will have a new car. You are really going out on a limb on that one, Sienna. I'm going to have her back on this one. I think she's going to do it.
As soon as I can scrounge up enough of my weekly paychecks, uh-oh, I get a down payment. I'll be there. Wow. You guys ever wondered how much trouble you can get into for doing a particular crime? You know, my son will do that. He'll say, I'll tell my son not to do something, and Jake will say, well, it'll happen. And he's measuring. He's measuring. Maybe it's worth it. Wow. Maybe it's worth it. That's brilliant. Well, that's awesome. This is pretty good. See, there's this guy. that wanted to know how much a ticket would cost for him doing something bad. And he decided that he would call 911 and ask them how much trouble he'd get into for doing this. And we have the 911 call. Wait till you hear what it was that he wanted to know. How much trouble am I getting for this? We'll play it for you next. LLB call it a day? She took it to the house. I think she's mad at us. Where is she? Maybe she's... So we got that story about this. We got this 911 call of this guy calling in, wanting to know how much trouble you can get into for doing a particular crime. And then at 730, Eskimo Blue Water's coming in. Our meet and greets Friday. And word of the day today is comb. I'm so excited about the Valentine's meet and greet. I am too. I need to figure out what to wear. I need to wear something red. I am stressed out a lot. Why? My weight. All right. I said it. I said it. Join a club.
Yeah, is that how you feel? Yes. Do you want a Sprinkles cupcake that I brought in for you? Let's brought in Sprinkles the Company cupcakes. I got a red velvet one for you. You want to talk about our story? We've got to. All right, fine. Let me get you a cupcake for a second. No! I'll be watching. Wow. She's being red. I'm not. No. So yesterday... Don't bring the... Put the lid on it! I can't smell it! What's the matter with you, though? What's... Get the... You ever just put lines in front of a guy? Why is he doing this? Because he's the devil. Mikey said, I'm worried about my weight. And then he's like, have a cupcake. We're talking about the meet and greet. And I said, you know, I'm anxious. Why? They said, because of my weight. You know, because I've, you know, ballooned up to the size of an actual hot air balloon. And so I'm nervous. And, you know, I need to lose some weight and everything. Well.
It's my fault. I'm not going to sit here and try to pretend. It's my fault. I got nobody to blame but myself. Yesterday, my wife had this procedure to blow up a kidney stone so that she can go pee-pee and the kidney stone goes away. So I took her home, and she had some pain meds, and so she had to take her pain meds, and they put her right out. So she falls right to sleep. And before she passed out, I said, I'm going to go get something to eat. She says, OK, fine. So I leave to go get something to eat. And I talked to Woods and I don't remember what I had talked to you about. I had called and said, hey, dude, I'm on my way home. Oh, that's right. And I said, do you guys need anything? I was going to stop. And if he was if he was like taking care of her, I was going to stop and get them lunch on the way. But I said, you got to call me back and let me know right away because I'm heading home. Yeah. And I said, no, no, we're good. I just gave Rebecca some, you know, she just ate and she took her. Her pain pills, she's passing out. She's fine. But thank you, man. That's really nice. So we hang up and I decide that I'm going to go see my crack dealer, a.k.a. McDonald's. It was L.O.B. I feared the most. In fact, it was in the text. It was in the text. And so I go to McDonald's to get my crack. What'd you get? Oh, don't ask me that. What'd you get? What didn't you get?
Yeah, it's easier to tell you that. I didn't get a filet of fish. Yeah, I didn't get a salad. Oh, it's humiliating what I got. All right. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I got a quarter pounder with cheese. Oh, gosh. Jay just shook his head at me like, what's the matter with you? What is the matter with you? Jay shames all of us. He's so shaming. He's so shaming. Even though he could go eat a cupcake, and I'm not like Jay. It's because a guy runs and he exercises. You know he'll be on a paddleboard in about four hours. And I'm not going to eat a cupcake. I know. You're not. You better. Okay, good. We're going to stick together, Jay. If you guys don't, you're going to hurt my feelings. I'm not. What? I pull out of the McDonald's and I'm about to make a right turn out of the McDonald's and guess who's pulling in. Let me guess. You couldn't stage these things. Enablers. And I look at him like, what kind of pig are you?
And he looks at me like, oh, busted. Like, you know, like I busted you, Mike. And we're both busting each other and we're guilty of the same crime. I roll my window down. He rolls my window down. And he goes, I roll my window down. He rolls his window down. And I'm looking at him and he's got this guilty look and he's like, yeah, I'm going to McDonald's. And I hold my bag. Oh, my gosh. I was. Had you already eaten a fry? Of course I had. Mike, he was probably 40 yards from me when I saw this little diminutive hand shoot out the window and he was waving and I go, that's Mikey and I'm busted. I mean, there's no doubt about where I'm going. And I'm talking to Jamie on the phone. Never mentioned to Jamie that I was going to go through the drive-thru. All I was going to do was be like, all right, babe, I got to go. Oh, it's professional. Oh, yeah. He knows what he's doing. I know exactly what I'm doing. How do you not slip up? And I pull up to Mikey. I go, you got me, dude. I'm busted. And he didn't say it work. He just held that bag up. And the bag was that big. It was a foot wide. Yes. Was it all for you, Mike? No. Well, that bag was. The other bag was for Claudia.
Because I asked her as I was leaving if she wanted anything. That's very nice. So he texts me. This is at 1055, by the way. We were there as soon as the crack dealer opened. 1055? Yeah. Wow, Woods. You shot out of here. He had just gotten up from a long night of party in the crack dealer, and he was ready to go. He was ready to serve. Absolutely. So Woods writes to me after this interaction. Oh, by the way, guess where I went to directly after that? I went to the... health juice place to get a wheatgrass shot. Oh, yeah. Woods, he said. You ever like a Diet Coke with your lard sandwich? Yeah. Before anyone else, it was just Woods and I in the studio this morning and he comes in and he's like, you'll never guess where I ran into Mike yesterday. And he wouldn't tell me until you guys just said it now. And I said, the nail salon. Fair enough. I thought that was going to be it. Either way. Fair enough. So he writes amazing with a period. And I wrote back, ha, ha, ha, ha. He says, holy cow, period. And I said, ever get caught leaving a crack house? He writes, ha, ha, ha, ha. I said, we might as well have been leaving a brothel. Oh, my God. You guys, let's just, starting now, we're going to eat healthy. Nope. Please. I'm trying. I got to finish this and tell you what we said. He says, I know. Wow, great story. I said.
You wanted it more than I did. And he wrote, did I? And I wrote, no, I'm going to feast. And then I wrote, just imagine L.O.B.'s disappointment. Oh, yeah. I am. And he goes, me too. He said, I'm eating in the crack house, too. So he's eating in the McDonald's. Wow, you ate at the McDonald's. I went and bought a newspaper. Because he didn't want anyone to know. No evidence at his house. I didn't care. I like to just read the paper and relax. So I write back. I go, you just don't have any freaking shame, do you? And he put, yep, just giving up. And I said, you're like the dudes at Black's Beach. No worries, no cares, just throwing caution to the wind. And he wrote back, you too. And I said, no, I'm discreet, pal. I take my crack back to my house. You're hanging out with the dealer listening to music. And he writes back, just hitting his pipe real good. And I said, yeah.
you're just hanging out listening to sublime hearing about his girlfriend and he goes yeah getting free stuff i go yeah getting free stuff now you got to help him move though and he says yep done i go yeah you're friends with malcolm the weird crack dealer who tells people that you're like his brother yep and eventually you won't have to pay and he goes deal you're creepy. Am I creepy? You're creepy. You took yours home and ate it in a little corner. Did you get anything else after you finished eating in there? Did you take anything to go? No. Just my giant Coca-Cola. Yeah. I did an hour of hot yoga yesterday and then went across the street and had an acai bowl with kombucha. Write that down, please. Write that down. Why you got to throw salt? Would you give me your diet yesterday, LB? And I'd be honest. Tell me the truth around now. Yesterday, I went to get a kombucha. They have changed their recipe altogether. Jay, did you like your kombucha? I got it from a restaurant, so they probably still have the old one. I tried two different brands yesterday just to see if it was...
The recipe must have been ruined because people complained. So I had a kombucha. I had a little... Do not lie. I had a little... I can see in your eyes that you're trying to omit information, but you can't because I'm a psychologist and I'll know. I had a wheat roll. I got some blocks of cheese. You're nervous. I can see it. I did have... I had brown rice yesterday for lunch. Blocks of cheese. With Frank's red hot sauce on it. What kind of blocks of cheese? Jalapeno cheddar. How much an ounce is? Tell me the truth. It came pre-cut up in a little Henry's thing. Did it? Yeah. Did you eat the entire bag? No. How many did you eat? I just ate maybe about five. Is that right, Lauren? You only ate five. It was just a little snack. Did you eat it with a wheat roll? Not together, but I munched on both. I had to just run into, I was going to the car dealership. I don't want to know extraneous things. I just want to know what you ate yesterday. And I can tell by the look in your eyes that you are trying.
conceal something from me, aren't you? Aren't you, little Starling? Aren't you trying to conceal that you had something that wasn't good for you yesterday? I had some pomegranate juice with too much sugar. Oh, yeah. What did you have for dinner? That's the worst. What did you have for dinner? I'm upset. I had some brown rice pasta with marinara sauce. Good girl. You had brown rice pasta? Oh, yeah. That's all I have. Is it rice or is it pasta? It's pasta, but it's made with a brown rice base instead of flour. Gluten-free. It's harder to cook, for sure. And you put marinara sauce on that? Yeah. It's good. Just a quick. I didn't finish running on the beach until like six o'clock. So I just had to eat something real quick. I suspect you're leaving something out. I quit. Go get a donut. Go get a cupcake. I can't live my life. I know. I can't. I was good yesterday. Look at me directly in the eyes. I love you. Did you eat something sweet yesterday? The pomegranate juice. I had too much of it. Pomegranate. Did you eat anything eating something? No.
Careful, Lauren. He'll eat you. You're not careful. Yeah, no kidding. No. Apparently, I'll eat anything. Yeah, me too. Coffee. I had two coffees. You know what was even worse? That's all I ate. Just see something to make us feel better. That's all I ate. That's even worse. Yeah. In the morning, I had a piece of toast. And then after, in the afternoon, I ate that. And I didn't eat again, which is even worse. I just remembered. U-S-O-B-L-O-B. I had a handful of Honey Nut Cheerios. Ah, I pegged it right on, didn't I? When I said, L.O.B., I can see on your face that you had something sweet. I did, I did. I had some Honey Nut Cheerios. By a handful. Do you mean several? No, I mean literally because I took my boyfriend with me to go get the car. And I just went into his house and I said, do you have any snacks? And he had nothing. So I just stuck my hand into the Honey Nut Cheerios and walked out. And I dropped a couple on the floor. I'll tell you what I ate. You can eat what you ate. I do. That white frosting on it, does that appeal to you in any way? Doesn't. Doesn't at all do you? It looks like, is that red velvet? Yes, it is. So velvety as it touches your lips, isn't it? I imagined it would be delicious. Imagine eating it in the frosting, just stinging your lips with that sweetness of sugar.
Oh, my God. It goes down, and your body can't consume it, so it turns into fat. Gelatinous. Gelatinous fat. I also had a Jack-in-the-Box taco. Thank you, Woods. Are you kidding me? And some lo mein from P.F. Chang's that I had leftover. Oh, my God. You're a good man, Woods. Yeah. Speak the truth. And I didn't have dinner. No dinner. Oh, I had a coconut cupcake. For dinner. No dinner, eh? Oh, good for each other. Hey, listen, I had a discipline. It's okay. Easy pot. I know. It's the kettle. I know it, dude. I know it. All right, let me play this 911 call for you. It's a 911 call of a guy in Connecticut, and he's calling to ask how much trouble he can get in. 911, what's the location of your emergency? Let's not get into that yet. I have a question.
Is this an emergency, sir? Depends. Well, not really. If it's not an emergency, you don't call 911, sir? I have a legal question. Well, it's not an emergency. Yeah, this isn't a law office, dumb man. Is this an emergency? I don't know what that means. Is it life-threatening or an act of crime in progress? Crime in progress, posse. What's going on? I was just growing some marijuana. I was just wondering what the... How much... you know, trouble you can get into for one plant. You're growing marijuana and you want to know how much depends on how big the plant is. It's only a seedling. A seedling? No, it's possession. Okay. It can get pinched for a roach in a car. Okay. She's all up on her terminal. Yeah.
She's like, you can go to the man. What kind of pot are you growing? How much can I get? What are we talking, panda? Bamba. You're welcome. By the way, are you selling? What do you charge for an eighth? What a weirdo. He sounded so smarmy, too. Don't they trace those calls? There has to be a certain amount of time. I don't know. But what a dum-dum. You can't tie up emergency line for that. How many days till Valentine's Day now? Six. Yeah, six days. So we have another Valentine's message from your Uncle Victor. This is your Uncle Victor Donato for Donato Transportation. We offer the greatest and high-quality limousines in Lincoln Continentals.
Why don't you get one for Valentine's Day? Great. Whether you're looking for a night out on the town because you're too drunk to drive, or maybe you're looking for something fun to do with your lady, we offer anywhere in the five boroughs of New York and are throwing a dozen roses. They're gorgeous. Unlike the scathing article written about us in the New York Post over two freaking years ago, why do they keep bringing it up? Right, right. It's so freaking old. We hire every nationality and race. It just so happens that the most qualified drivers were Italian. Donato Transportation would like you to know that we have now hired two blacks and an Egyptian. And so please consider us for all of your transportation needs. This is your Uncle Victor Donato saying, please tip your driver.
It's a very, very bad idea to not tip your driver. Very bad. I urge you to not not tip your driver. It's real freaking bad. Don't do it. Wow. Uncle Victor Donato, he says it's very bad to not tip your driver. I guess so. It's going to be really bad. Do not not tip your driver. Wow. He's also mad the New York Post keeps bringing up the fact that, you know, he was discriminating. He says that's an old story, and they're beating a dead horse. And why don't they just leave it alone? It's from a long time ago. And now he would like to point out that he has two blacks and an Egyptian in his employ. And so get off of his back already. L.O.B. has a pretty good idea that if car corporations ever get onto this train of thought, it could really... They really sell some cars. We'll tell you about it. Also, I'm not really sure Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre are necessarily hanging out in their Wranglers, just sell-donging and having a great time, playing slow-motion catch to ZZ Top songs and stuff. I don't know, but Letterman asked Aaron Rodgers about Brett Favre last night, and you'll get to hear his lukewarm response about Brett. So we'll give you the Aaron Rodgers on Letterman last night in just a second.
Doesn't sound like he and Brett are really the best of friends. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the number is out. The number of DUI arrests over Super Bowl weekend. A total of 160 people were jailed on suspicion of driving under the influence. 160? 160 in San Diego. Oh, wow. Yeah. Last year, there was 135. That's a lot. Also on the cover of the UT today, if you haven't heard of the city brownouts, I'm sure it will ring a bell in a second. About a year ago, Mayor Jerry Sanders said, you know, due to budget cuts and stuff, they wanted to do these brownouts, which basically fire and police officers, fire stations and police officers were going to be limited due to budget cuts. And so because of that, as you can imagine, the response time is a lot slower. They're calling it brownouts. And basically there are 13 fire stations affected by the brownouts. Three are browned out permanently, meaning the response time. Only eight engines are allowed out a day. Wow. Yeah, it's a whole long thing to explain. But people are mad, and now I think it's going to be reversed because it's really affected San Diego County because of this. And it's kind of an important thing. Of course. Life or death, you know? Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, first of all, sports is brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Tonight, the San Diego State Aztecs, who are...
Depending on who you talk to, either the No. 2 team in the country, that's what the computers have them at, or the No. 6 team in the country, which is just incredible. They're going to be taking on Utah at Viejas Arena at 7.30 tonight. And the two guys that were injured, Chase Tapley and Tim Shelton, both x-rays on their feet were negative, so there's no broken bones. So that is good news. We'll see if they play tonight. And then yesterday was a really busy day for Aaron Rodgers. As you guys know, he was the Super Bowl MVP as his Packers won 31-25 over Pittsburgh. And so he had a couple hours sleep, partied all night with his boys, went to Disney World, which is the bit. Where are you going? I'm going to Disney World. Spent the whole day there, then flew to New York to be on Letterman. So he had to be beat. But Dave asked him kind of a pointed question. Here he is talking about it. Brett Favre, his coming and going, when he came to New York City and he retired, I can remember Brett Favre sitting right here, and I said, so I understand you've retired. And it was in all, everywhere. And he says, and it turned out he had not retired. Now, was this, for you, his backup, did this become a distraction as you were taking his place on the team? I don't think it was a distraction. I think, you know, I was the guy that took all the reps in the offseason.
And he was the guy that took all the reps during the season. So there's a certain justice in this. You know what? I think so. Wow. Yikes. Doesn't sound like their best friend. No. Doesn't sound like their best friend. Maybe you just hang them up, pal. Okay. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L.O.B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Will. It's Will. Later in the show, we will be talking to Survivorman, Les Stroud. Guy takes the camera out and he films himself surviving in perilous situations. Is he playing that? No, that's me. As Survivorman, Les Stroud spent years exploring ways to live and thrive in the most remote locations on Earth. That's how strong this wind is. Now. There's only one way to deepen his knowledge. He's seeking out the true masters of survival, the last indigenous tribes around the world. A lot of this is dying out quickly. He's here to learn their techniques. This is tough going. To take part in their ancient rituals. The ceremony is secretive. They don't do it very much in the open. And to unearth the secrets of how they've existed in the wild for thousands of years. Those kinds of skills are vanishing rapidly.
Their wisdom, their traditions, their very way of life goes far beyond survival. So he's coming up on the program today. He is a tough dude. He's a very tough dude. One of the things I want to ask him about is an episode that I saw where he took a truck and drove it out into the desert until the truck ran out of gas. And I mean out in the middle of nowhere. Ran out of gas. And he had to get out of the car and survive. Now it's 120 degrees. Which for anybody, that would be pretty tough. Except, Les had a fever of 103 degrees. Oh my gosh. And he was getting sicker and sicker as he was out there. And at one point considered calling in a rescue flight. And didn't, which I thought was stupid. And when we talk to him today, I'm going to tell him, Les, why would you do that?
You could die. Why would you put your family at that sort of risk, meaning that they could lose their dad? And I'm going to ask him. Yeah. Because I think it's a relevant question. I mean, it was gnarly. He probably knows his limits. It's what he did. You know, he stayed out there and, you know, he was pressing the limits. There's no doubt about it. Guy had a fever and you could see it. I mean, he was just burning up. God, there's nothing worse. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was just hideous. So L.O.B. brought up this thing in her recap that I thought was pretty interesting. She's driving about five minutes yesterday on the freeway. Their turn signal on. Idiot. You've seen that guy. You've been that guy. We've been that guy. And she said that once she realized that it was on, she turned it off. She got all mad. She's gotten a huff. Threw up her hands in a courtesy wave. As if that makes any kind of difference. And she was thinking to herself that she wishes that we can add a feature that puts a message on our back window that says, I'm sorry with a happy face. Just push a button and it shows up. That would be brilliant. Let's say that Volvo starts to market a car and one of their features in their slick, well-produced commercial that maybe premieres during the Super Bowl says, finally.
A car that talks to others around you. And they show somebody pushing a button inside of the car. And on the back window, an LED lights up that says, can you let me over, please? Or, I'm sorry, with a happy face. And it makes clear that there won't be any bad messages that can be displayed. I want to say, get off my A. No, there won't be a get off my A. Only courtesy features. Yes, only courtesy features. But don't you think that would be a selling point? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. That would work for me. I think especially the can you let me over, please. But isn't that what a turn signal is for? Yeah, but people won't. People leave them on all the time. People are like, where is he going? Is he going over here? You think that can you let me over, please, is going to make much difference? If somebody's a D and they're not going to let you in, they're a D and they're not going to let you in. Well, if you ignore that.
I think they may be impressed by the sign. I guarantee they won't do it because it's a distraction to other drivers. If you're driving in your car and maybe the writing doesn't apply to you, it applies to a car next to you, but you're going to be like, oh, look, that's on, bam. Okay, it would be in a situation where, oh, shoot, I got myself in the right turn only lane and you're at a red light and you would hit it to be like, it wouldn't just be in traffic. I guess people could abuse it. Then aren't you the guy that leaves his... Can you let me please light on the whole time? Maybe it only lights up for five seconds. You have to push it and then it's a release. It doesn't stay on. I like that. Jay, I'm in. Why did I just make your blinker like that then? What do you mean? Like where it just turns off automatically. That does happen. It does happen? Yeah, but I'm saying. Easy. It blinks four times. But sometimes people accidentally hit their blinkers. It's so sad that we need that. I know. Mike, you can't remember to just turn it off? Well, how about this? It makes noise. How about if we were just nice enough to let people go over? I know. Well, yeah, and the I'm sorry thing. Because sometimes you misjudge your turn and you cut somebody off and you really feel bad about it. And they're like, hey, hold. And you really want to be like, I know that was stupid. I'm sorry. I just think it brings a little bit of a courtesy back to the driving experience. I always give people.
The, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. Yeah, but they mouth it. Open palms. I'm sorry. It could be misinterpreted as a, well, you relax, pal. Won't you chill out? No, my body language. My body language is very submissive. Mine is too, but still. I had a guy cut me off and he pulled up beside me and I was like, oh no, here it comes. He rolls down his window, all kind of angry looking. He's like. I'm sorry, that was my bad. But it was his total ball language was that he was going to kill me. Yeah, exactly. And he cut me off. I was like, oh, cool. There's no mistaking my... Dude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sad eyes. Hands up. Palms up. Sad eyes. Bottom lip out. Shaking. Shaking the head. I'm very sorry. But what if you cut somebody off and you're in front of them and all they see is your head and your hands waving back and forth and they're like, what's he all up and arms about? Because they've just honked at you for cutting him off and you give him the hands up. I'm sorry. It's the, it's, it's, I'm raising the roof. Yeah. I'm raising the roof. Raising the roof says, I'm sorry. I got it. You got it. It could easily, easily be misinterpreted as you being like, what are you all mad about? What kind of dum-dum do you have to be to be like, I think he's, he's, he's, he's not sorry. He's like, what, who goes, what are you all up in arms about? Oh, everybody. Yeah.
So many people. Have you ever seen a person get mad in their car? It's hilarious. Oh, yeah. I've been that good. It's me. I do the thing where I laugh at them. I'm like, when they're like all yelling. Me too. Me too. Y'all laughing point sometimes. That's the worst thing anyone can ever do. This is the worst. Making a sad face. I haven't done that. I've just wielded the power when someone's beeped at me. to tell me to turn because they think I have enough time and they're behind me, I just like to let them wait it out for a couple more turns. What is up with the honk? The honk at the arrow slays me, especially if I'm first in line and I'm just slow. You know what you're doing. No, no. If I'm just slow to go and they honk, I'm like, oh. You're going to wait real good. No! Oh, yeah. Why are you slow to go? I know why you're slow to go. I'm probably messing with my iPod or texting or something. Texting. I don't need a phone. I'm slow to go, too. I'm slow to go, too. You know why? Because I'm texting. But sometimes I'm slow to go out of a parking lot because I'm like, okay, I've got my niece in the backseat. I don't want to chance it. And somebody beeps at me because they think I have enough time. But I'm like, look, I know the pickup on my car. I know. Just don't tell me. Mind your own business. Okay.
I understand. And I think that you have a relevant point on that. But at a red light and it's a green light and I haven't gone yet. The reason I haven't gone is because I'm a jackal and I am on my text or I am messing with my stereo or I'm doing anything else but looking at the light. And so if I get a honk, they're not the bad guy. I'm the. Dope. I agree. Now, here's the deal. Here's what I will do. If I get a honk and I am doing something, I'll throw the hand up. My bad. See, another situation where the I'm sorry button would work. Yeah, I'm sorry button would work. Perfect. If I'm not doing anything and I drive a giant beast of a truck and it doesn't get up and go like your car or some other people's car, and I'm just kind of cruising, then I will go so slow. I'm not going to let you do it. What? That's such BS. It's not BS. My car, Mike, is so big. It's literally like a Mastodon. Well, it's a Suburban. Yes. And so it really, it has no acceleration. So when the light turns green, I can't reasonably move at a point at which the person behind me knows I'm reasonably moving. Sometimes I'm just not in a hurry, dude. And I'm not on my phone. But if I am and I get busted, I'll give away. My bad. And I'll go.
I'm not a D all the time, contrary to what you may believe. It isn't that you're a D. I'm not trying to fight somebody all the time. It isn't that you're a D. But if somebody honks at you, I think our natural instinct is... Who are you honking at? That's exactly it. It makes me really sad when someone honks at me. Like for the whole day, I'm like, man. I know. It gets in my head. I'm bummed out. That's why I want like a two-tone horn, too. The one that's like a, hey. And then the other one that maybe is just like. Yeah. I'm more on board with that. Yeah, because the one that just like, hey, you should probably go now. It would be like a nice little, just a friendly reminder. So you know, you don't want to sit 30 years longer. I want one on the back that says, keep your eyes on your own paper. Don't worry about when I'm going. You can't. No mean one. No. I feel bad because I'll be at a red light turned around like dealing with Sage or something. And then I'll have no idea. But I want to be aware. And I want to go because I don't want to be sitting there any longer either. Courteous drivers are safe drivers. If we can bring the courtesy back, it'll save lives. Yeah. But that is, to me, it's just like.
Why don't we all stop being douchebags? Well, maybe people need a gentle nudge. Maybe they need a wristband. By a cool LED light. It's just Be Different on it. It's so funny you mentioned Be Different. We have wristbands now. So if you want to order a wristband, just go to BeDifferent.org. Be Different Pact. Be Different Pact.org, sorry. Be Different Pact.org. And the whole purpose of the wristband is that you kind of think, oh, maybe I don't be a douchebag. Like, I want to be right now. Because this person really ticked me off. But I think I'm going to chill out. And, you know, that's the whole point of it. So funny because a friend of ours was doing this thing. And she was on public transportation. She said the person behind her was driving her freaking nuts. And she was like, be different, be different, be different, be different, be different, be different. Woods texted me the other day that he was talking to somebody and he had to do be different, be different, be different. It was yesterday. I was at the doctor. That's right. He was freaking late. Late, late. And I was, dude, I was, and the lady, the lady that took my clipboard, I'm not kidding you. Hand me this clipboard and I'll show you how she took my paperwork. Okay. I'm handing you the clipboard. Really? She yanked it out of my hand and I was like.
I looked at her and I looked at my bracelet and I go, and I went and sat down and I was like, aren't you being paid to be here right now? I'm not. You can chill. I've been up since 3.30. Did she say that the doctor was running late or something? Nope. How did you know he was late? Because I had an appointment. Oh, and they just weren't calling you? They just weren't calling me. They're always late. Then they left me in the room. Let me explain. What you're hearing right now is what... we all experience however woods this is new to him and the reason this is new to him is he never goes to the doctor and so what he is explaining right exactly and i said to him i go i go i text him back i go woods that's what that's what happens and he's like and he's like is it like he doesn't and the reason is he never goes to the doctor so he doesn't know that this is the routine woods when you go to when you go to a doctor's appointment and it's at three o'clock
They're not calling you back until 3.30. And then you wait in the room. And then you wait in the examination room for about 20 minutes. I don't like that. Dude, it's not how you run a business. None of us do. What if you said, you know what, we're supposed to start at 6. I'm going to start at 6.30. Dude, you're preaching to the choir. We all. Hate it. But you know what? To doctor's defense, they're seeing other patients, I mean, most of the time. Don't make an appointment. Yeah, but some patients have a million questions. Right. Maybe Mikey. Well, what about this? Can you check this? And what about, you know, I have this mole on my back. Will you look at that while I'm here? Yeah. You know, and they're there for one thing, but they ask 10 different questions. Got a plan for that. Well, they also will book three people at 315. Absolutely. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you know this? I know certain doctor's offices will. For a fact? Mm-hmm. That they will make the same appointment at the same time? And they'll give people a 15-minute slot with the chance that someone will be in an in-and-out case, someone will cancel that day, someone will be late, you know? That, I did not know. I didn't know that. I don't know if that's unanimous across the board. But you know for a fact that some doctors do that, did not know that. 15-minute slots is what was on the...
the thing yesterday when I signed in, it was like every 15 minutes. So it was, you know, managed care. They got to see as many people a day as they can to get paid. Well, and I, I put something on my Facebook. I was like, cause you get charged. If you're more than 15 minutes late, you got to pay, you know, it's a cancellation fee of a lot of doctors offices and we should be able to have the same thing. Free appointment. If you're not there within 15 minutes and I get a free appointment or I get my money. Yeah, but it is par for the course. There's so many things that are just a beating about going to the doctor. I could have waited semi-peacefully if that broad had not snatched that piece of paper out of my hand. And I mean snatched. And she was so mad. She had to answer the phone. Do you think she was mad because you called her a broad? I didn't call her a broad face. Yeah, that probably did it. I could have called her worse, but I didn't. She snatched it? I mean snatched it. And I looked at her like... Oh, I believe you. The worst is when you have an appointment where you have to get undressed and then you sit in the office. In that crazy paper robe. I had to do it a million times when I was pregnant. And you're like, okay, someone come in for like 40 minutes and be sitting there naked. And you have to keep practicing. Am I going to be slunched or am I going to be upright when I get in there? My butt is facing the door. Can they see my crack? Yeah. Should I have my legs crossed? Uncrossed. Do I lie on the table or should I sit in this chair? Yeah, that's always the most awkward. Do I lay down? Yes.
Fat guy in a doctor's lab. They come in, you're laying down loud. They're like, whoa, creeps. Sit up. You're spread eagle reading Ski Magazine. M1 Marcy from Vista, you there? Hi, go ahead. Okay. I work at a doctor's office. I am coming to the defense of my doctors that I work with. I get extremely irritated when patients come in. We do. Double book at the top of the hour, where there are two patients at the top of the hour. But they are two patients who are maybe a cold or a cough, something that is quick. Can I ask you, Marcy, now that I got you, why would you do that? Because when somebody comes in for something like that, it really doesn't take much longer than... you know, five or ten minutes to assess the patient. How do you get to decide who goes first if you booked them at the same time? It's whoever comes first. Really? That's why there's a sign-in sheet. Yeah, I mean, if... So that means one person is going to actually get their appointment on time and the other person is going to sit there and wait. But if you're sick, you want to get in there no matter what. Right. Some people will show five minutes early and I'll bring them back. The doctor will go in. The next one will come in. Most of the time, people come...
you know, five minutes early, and then there's those people who come 15 minutes late who make the patient run behind. Now, there are those patients, and we always do tell them, if you have more than one issue, please let us know on the phone so we can book you appropriately. And they don't. They say, oh, by the way, oh, by the way, hey, I got chest pain. Really? We can't make you come back for that. We also don't want to make you pay three co-pays. There are some doctors that will say, you know what, we really don't have time for that. you've got to come back and make another appointment. Some people have $40 co-pays. I don't know about you. I don't want to pay another co-pay. Sometimes we will say, okay, you know what, let's go ahead and pick your top three things that are most important, and we'll go ahead and try to take care of them because we are there for patient care, and we do try to take care of some of your problems. Woods is shaking his head. What are you thinking of Woods? I'm shaking my head because, you know, The difference is I would pay three times as much for the doctor if they would just be on time. I'm not kidding. I would have paid yesterday. I would have paid $120. I had to pay $45. But she's saying why they're not on time, and it's because people are other people. I get it. I get it.
I want a VIP card. I'll pay three times as much to walk in, get my deal, and walk out. Literally. That would make me furious if you just were able to pay more. So the rich got better care. Not the rich. Just the smart. You're rich. I'm not rich. I don't want to pay $120. And I don't want to sit in the waiting room. So we're even. Now, they do have something kind of similar to that. It's called Minute Clinic. That sucker works real good. Stop telling people about it. There's not one in La Jolla. Can I tell you about this? I had to go to MinuteClinic the other day. If you're going to talk about it in the air, I'm going to let people know what it is. MinuteClinic is something at CVS. Where you can go speak to a doctor without waiting in a waiting room at a doctor's office and they will give you a prescription. And it truly is a minute clinic. You get in there. Why don't you want to help our M1s? Well, I went there the other day, right? And the lady, you know, I've seen her a few times. And she goes, oh, hey, how you doing? I go, good. She goes, you know, we have gotten so many more patients because of you mentioning us on the air. And I just stared at her and I go, really?
And she goes... That's good. You're helping people. They're not an advertiser. How do they do it, though? I mean, is there never people in line there? Here's the deal. The deal is that they are a nurse practitioner, which is the only thing they can't do is prescribe heavy narcotics and stuff like that. Oh, then I can't go. Oh, boy. But what they can do is virtually anything you'd go to a doctor for. And so they are in the CVS. And all you do is walk up to this little screen, type in your name, and you're usually seen right away. You know if your CVS has it because it will say Minute Clinic outside on the building. Because I saw it by your house, and I was like, yep, my CVS does not have it. Maybe people don't go to it anymore. Yeah, seriously. It's terrible. It's funny, though. If I'm sick, I was sick a couple weeks ago, and I was like, I have to get in right away and figure out if I need antibiotics. If you're sick and you make the doctor's appointment and they're like, well, I'll squeeze you in for 3.30 or whatever, I'll sit there patiently for like an hour and be like, I'm just thankful to have the appointment. But when you make it like six weeks in advance, you're like, what's the point? Yeah, why make the appointment? At Minute Clinic, you don't need an appointment. You just walk in, type your name in there.
And usually as soon as you hit OK, because you can see if people are waiting outside of there. Nobody ever is. And you put your name in there. As soon as you press the OK button, about 20 seconds later, the door opens. There's a lady in a white lab coat. And she goes, Jay? And you go, yeah. And you walk in there. And 10 minutes later. Why don't all CVSs have them? And you know what they do? Like if she needs to give you antibiotics or whatever, she does it on her computer that sends it directly to the CBS pharmacy. You don't have to stand in line? You don't have to go anywhere else. It's all in one stop. You're there. Perfect. Like if you had this looming thing that you're really worried about, it might not be the best to go to a minute clinic and hold everybody else up. What do you mean looming thing? You're like, I've been having like, Oh yeah. If you got something serious, but if you have a cold, like an onset of a cold or something, if you have a cold or let's say, you know, you have some kind of an infection that, you know, it's like a urinary tract cause you've had it before or you've got something that you know what it is, but you need, you know, and you don't want to go make a doctor's appointment, go through the beating of an hour wait and blah, blah, blah.
Maybe they give us advertising since I talk about them. Maybe they do. Anyway, that's the deal. Yeah, it was a two-hour physical yesterday for the kid. Two hours. That's the deal? Yeah. Yeah, welcome to... Slept my own throat. Okay. They want to play radio charades? Yes. Call us right now, 570-1949. We'll play some radio charades. What do we have as a prize, Jay? We have a pair of tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross. Right on. And also when we come back, EBW will be telling you her announcement, which will actually be press released today. For real. EBW is going to make an announcement here in just a minute. So stick around. Eskimo Blue Waters. And we have already gotten confirmation from one news agency that they will be covering this. Let's see. Don't forget our Valentine's meet and greet on Friday. It's happening at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. And it's Friday from 5 to 7 p.m., happy hour prices, and singles will be, you know, shown with a wristband. Excuse me while I whip this out. But if you're in a relationship, you can come too. Yeah, why not? Everyone's welcome. Everybody's welcome. So that'll be cool. Word of the day is comb. And when you hear me work the word comb into a sentence between now and 10, it's good for...
four-pack of SeaWorld fun cards, and a $50 gift card to proflowers.com. So let's do this. Let's do radio charades. Then we'll have EBW come in here. She's used to having to wait. She's going to be. We're nine minutes over what we promo'd for her. Mark Wahlberg giving up some kind of drug. I'll tell you what that is, too. It's illegal. The illegal drug. Let's see. Okay, so... Radio charades. The way that radio charades works is exactly what charades is. I will be your eyes and ears. Well, I'll be your eyes. People can't talk. And so I will try to describe to you what I'm seeing and you yell out what it is. If you get it right, you're good to go. Is there a time limit or something? 60 seconds, right? 60 seconds. I gave Sienna her movie and she's like... Is that even a movie? It's always movies. It's always movies. And she apparently is not aware of it. Let's see. M1 Will from Poway is on the line. Well. How are you doing? How are you guys doing? We're doing good. Okay. So Sienna is going to be doing the charade, and I'm going to be describing it to you. We will have 60 seconds. And if you know what the movie is, yell it out, okay? I yell it out.
Correct? Yes. You yell it out as soon as you know it, all right? All right. And you can be yelling your guesses as we're going along. You'll be yelling out guesses. Are you ready? Ready. Here we go. Four words. The fourth word is... Oh, it's like rain. Rain is it. It's rain. The fourth word is rain. Here's the first word now. Singing in the rain. Yes! Oh, my gosh. Nice! What in the world? Nice! Flip the curveball in there. It's killing me. I knew that that was a song. I didn't know it was a movie. It's a movie with Gene Kelly. Sure. Good job. Hang on the line, Will. Next up will be Woods, and it is always a movie. M1 Mesa from Escondido. Are you there? Good morning. Yes, I am. Good morning. Okay. Now, again. You just start. I'll be giving you the clues. And as we go along, you're just trying your best. You yell out what you think it could be. And if you get it right, you get it right. Are you ready? Sounds good. Here we go. Two words. The second word. Driving. Cruising. Me. Wheel. Sailing. Boating. Steering. Do something else. Oh, no.
Mohawk. Hairstyle. Hair. Mohawk. Woods is doing the exact same motion and looking at Mike like, say something else. Driving. Driving. That's in the furious? Good guess. It's close to driving. It's close to driving. It's steering. Gosh, he's getting so frustrated with me. Me? Me? Driving me? Driving me? No. Driving Miss Daisy? No. Good guess. Steering. I don't know what this is. Counting. Delivering. Delivering. Sam and deliver? Transporting. Oh, my gosh. You were the worst at that this time. Am I? Taxi driver. What was it? Taxi driver. Taxi driver. What about you could have done the whole thing with the meter starting? Nobody's started a meter since 1864. I was trying to do the thing where you pay, and you said driving, and I was trying to get you to say driver. Yeah, I get it. I'm like, hey, I'm the driver. How about like a golf club? That's good, yeah. It's too confusing. Muddying the water. That was a hard one. She did good. Good guesses. Yeah, she had great guesses. Sorry, Mesa. That's okay. All righty. Let's see. M1 Vans, are you there? Here. All right. LOB is going to act this out for you.
And you'll have 60 seconds. And I will be your eyes. Here we go. There are. There are. Oh, you can't talk. Oh, wait. I got to stop the timer. I got to stop the timer. That was all too quick. Okay. Do you know how many words now? No. How many words? No, she's talking to Ella B. She's counting them on her fingers. All right. Five words. Here we go. Five words. The fifth word. crawling on all fours, singing as she's crawling. Oh, it's like a cat. It's like a cat. Licking, purring, happy. Oh. This is hilarious. Okay, let's go to the second word now. Shh, be quiet. Quiet. Silence. Silence is it. Silence. Second word is silence. Silence of the lambs. Yeah!
You got it. Wow. We need to start videoing this. Yeah, yeah. That's good. Learn this mouthing bop. Oh, you are a little lamb. A little lamb. What lamb licks itself, though? I know. I'm trying to look cute. Yeah, I'm like, what lamb licks its paws? What do lambs do? Nothing. Yeah, they don't do anything, really. They just stand there. Don't they lick things? Don't they? I thought you were a lamb or a sheep until you licked. I was like, oh, she's a cat. Oh, she's a cat. Hang on the line. Don't they lick things? I bet when you go to the paintings, they'll lick things. Well, maybe. Vans, hang on, okay? All right, thanks. That was fun. That is not one of the characteristics I would have thought of. I was trying to look cute. For a lamb. Woods, let Eskimo Blue Wires in. This is a big moment for her. Why are you knocking? We're opening the door for you for crying out loud. Okay. We got a promo yesterday. Mike. Yeah. You weren't here. Happy birthday. You know, I heard you on the air yesterday with Garrett. Oh, you did? Yeah. Why don't you try being respectful with me? Man, you were so respectful to him. You were so nice. I was nervous. You were nervous. Yeah. Because he's a program director. Yes. Yeah. You've never met him. He can get her music played. Yes.
It's true. I cannot. This show is not about the music. The rest of the day is. The rest of the day is about the music. This show is not. The show is about the amusement. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. It's about the amusement. Try to brighten people's morning. All right. So, Eskimo Blue Waters, you've got an announcement to make. On Thursday, you're going to be doing something. On Thursday, I'm going to be doing something unprecedented. Okay. You guys all know about Mount Soledad. Yeah, Mount Soledad, there's been a big controversy over the Mount Soledad cross. Some people want it taken down, some people want it left there. People want to take it down? Yes. And I'm not going to let that aggression stand. Good for you. I'm not going to let it get taken down. Okay. So you know what I'm going to do? What are you going to do? Going up there on Thursday, I'm going to chain myself at Mount Soledad until that cross doesn't come down. Until... That cross doesn't come down. You got it. You're going to chain yourself to the cross? I'm going to chain myself. You're going to chain yourself? To what? I don't have a long enough chain to go around the cross. I'm just going to chain myself. You're going to chain yourself? To yourself? To myself. So that way my arms will be chained. Constricted. Okay. And they're not going to not tear that down. Right.
And you will stay there. I will stay there until they do not take it down. That's right. So you could be there a while. Oh, yeah. You know, grammatically, that's strange. I'm not an English major. I'm just a musician. I understand. But this is something that I feel really passionately about. I think I get a lot of press for it. For the good of the... The cross. The cross, yes. Because he wanted to stay up. Which is a La Jolla landmark. What about you, Eskimo Blue Waters, and your career? I mean, if they ask me who I am, I'll say. You'll say. I'll say who I am. You know, they need something to go underneath my name. Yeah. I get some press for it. The only thing is, is that if I know you, you're always looking for a chance to give a cheap plug. No, I haven't even mentioned that I have a blog on SanDiego.com. You just did. You just did mention it. Well, I hadn't before that. I haven't mentioned that I'm making a website, EskimoBlueWaters.com. I haven't even. No, you haven't, but you kind of, you just did. You know, like you mentioned, you said you weren't going to say.
that you do a blog on SanDiego.com, yet you just did mention the video blog. Yes, I have a blog on SanDiego.com. There's been some changes over at SanDiego.com, so they're not sure when my blog will get posted again. We'll be working on that. Wait a second. You're telling me that you've been fired from San Diego? No, no. I'm saying they've made some internal changes over there. Okay, and so you're not sure. when your blog will appear? I'm not exactly of the top of the totem pole, so I don't know. I don't know if that blog's still going to exist. You sound like you're getting under her skin a little bit. Yeah, you are. Sorry. Hey, listen. I'm just asking the questions that the readers want to know. Yeah, we all want to know. It's been a rough go at it. I haven't been able to sleep the past three days in my car. So you slept at your dad's house? Yeah, I had to. You had to. They say you need to change the scenery. So I was like, hey, idiot, let me in. I'm crashing in here. That was me talking to my dad. He's got a multi-million dollar home that overlooks the ocean in La Jolla. Oh, yeah, good for him. Where you grew up, by the way. I grew up there because I had to. I got out as soon as I could. Rough life. Yeah. I didn't graduate high school. You still have a room. The room is probably bigger than most people's homes. Well.
It's a guest room. It doesn't have to be my room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a guest room. Guests stay there. Guests like you and friends. The governor will stay there sometimes. You know what she doesn't like? She doesn't like when her dad tells her what to do because, you know. He's not the boss of me. Right. He's not the boss of her. She's 32. You are still living under his roof. Still on his payroll. I live in a Mustang that he bought for me. But he gave it to me as a gift. You can't take it back. Eskimo Blue Waters is her name. That's right. Don't forget it. Dark glasses, cowboy hat, jeans. Fringe jacket. Fringe jacket. Yeah. A lot of fringe on that jacket. A lot of fringe. A lot of fringe. And the other interesting thing about Eskimo Blue Waters, not really her name. Real name. Well, it's his stage name. Is Cher his real name? Cher. No, probably not. Moby. Well, I think that actually. His real name is Garrett Michaels. Moby's real name. Garrett. Well, here's the thing, though. Your name is Judy Douche. First of all, Mike, it's douche. It's French. Second of all, Judy is not a catchy name. I told my dad I didn't want that name. I wanted to change my name when I was a kid, and he wouldn't let me. You had issues with your dad the whole time, I guess. Yeah. He's always been keeping her down. That's true. When I was a kid, I wanted to change my name to Stardust. I did.
Yeah, that was his reaction too. I went with Eskimo and he told me that wasn't even politically correct and it should be Inuit. Because Eskimo is like a bad word. It's politically incorrect. It makes you think of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes you think of cool. Technically, they're cool because it's cold. That's true. Well, thank you. So when is this going down? Thursday. Do we know a time or anything like that? This Thursday. I have news for you. KGTV has said they are going to cover it. Of course they are. Yes. Wow. She's going to stay there until the cross doesn't come down. Doesn't come down. I have jeans already. What are you going to wear, Eskimo? Oh, just the usual. Just a couple pairs of ripped jeans. Oh, a couple pairs. I'll bring it back up because it's cold. I'm a fringe. There you go. Cigarettes? Dream catchers? Yeah, I'll be stacked with some smoke. You're back on the cigs? Oh, yeah. Rehab didn't take. Remember you went to rehab to stop smoking cigarettes? Yeah. Fake bit. Hey, don't rub my face in it. I'm trying. No, you're not. You don't even smoke. I have American spirits right now. I know you have them. You just don't smoke them. I'll be there. I'll try to bring my guitar. Every time you've half inhaled cigarette smoke, you...
cough and hack. That's because I'm addicted. I've been smoking for a long time. Excuse me. I need to talk without coughing. All right. Thank you, Eskimo. Thursday. What time? I don't know. She didn't know you. But we'll make the announcement. Don't worry. Let's see. Do we have time? Do we have time? Nope. We do not. Oh, I got a great email for you. I got a great email for you. We got an email from a guy who went on a date with a girl, really enjoyed her, and thought it was a great time. No. Not appropriate, Mike. Not like that. I didn't mean it. I thought you were a family man. That's not what I meant. He had a great time on a date. Yeah. He enjoyed her company. Yes, he did. And other things. There was something, though, there was something he did not like. And it's very unusual. And I cannot wait to read this to you. You ever just not like a girl for strange reasons? Or maybe it's a very perfectly good reason. You'll have to be the judge. I do know this. I got this email and laughed my butt off. And I said to Jay, please write this guy back and try to get him to come on the show. And he will. Nice. Sting always had cool hair. Guy could sing. He could sing.
Cool looking hair back in the day. He makes love for like seven hours straight. He could do the Super Bowl halftime show. Sure. People would be happy with that. The police doing it would be phenomenal. Imagine if the police reunited for the Super Bowl halftime show. I don't think people would complain. I saw their reunited show. It sucked. Blasphemous. I went. It sucked. I was looking. I paid like $300 a ticket. It sucked. Why? They didn't sound like them? Didn't sound good. They changed all their songs up when they did it. I saw them too. Yeah. It sucked. You ever just comb through a performance with a fine-tooth comb? They changed. I guess they were bored doing it the same way, so they decided they would change all the melodies of the songs. Maybe just come out and play the greatest hits. That's what we paid $600 for or whatever. Wow. They play obscure stuff? They played a couple of some obscure stuff, and they just didn't sound that great. They didn't like each other. A lot of mandolin. Really? Sienna, what's going on in the news? Would you guys like to know which is San Diego's trashiest beach? And by trashiest, I mean filled with trash. Oh, I thought you meant like the most tourist and stuff. Sure. Mission Beach. Close. In Pacific Beach, Tourmaline Beach has the most trash. Gross. There was an annual report done, and at least in the year 2010, Torrey Pine State Beach had the least amount of trash in 2010. And, you know, among the main...
Trashiest things found. Cigarette butts. What? I don't do it anymore. Get it. Shamed out of that tune. San Diego workers, city workers have filled over 7,000 potholes after the storms, mainly happening in December. I'm sure you guys have seen them. They're bad potholes. Yeah, that's what it takes. They have more to fix. So over 7,000 have been filled. So if you're upset about it, just they're trying the best they can do. There's still more. Wow. Still more. Maybe we get a stadium. Yep. I don't want potholes in the street. I'd rather have potholes filled. You're going to damage your car. I can sort of run a pothole. It's going to be really tough when there's no football team here anymore. What do you got in sports? One of my favorite things about the Super Bowl is hearing about speeches. I love the motivational speeches. I've always been a big fan. You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Mike McCarthy, who's the head coach of the Green Bay Packers, who won, did something very interesting, I thought, with his team. Saturday night, they did their big rah-rah speech. Sunday's the game. You know what he did? What? Had all his guys fitted for Super Bowl rings, which I thought was so freaking rad. Had them all. He goes, everybody line up. The jewelers are here. I'm going to get your sizes, your measurements for your Super Bowl rings. That's incredible. Incredible.
Pretty unusual, but I liked it. It made things real. They don't do that normally? Not till after. You don't want to jinx yourself. But he wanted them to visualize putting on that big, badass Super Bowl ring and letting them know, you guys deserve it. You guys are good enough to win it, and you're good enough to... I was like, you're a genius. Dude, I've talked about it before. I saw on NFL Network a special on the presentation of the Super Bowl rings. It's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. They bring out a beautiful, they come out in this big, they've got a bunch of guys in tuxedos. It's a ballroom. Picture a ballroom. It's kind of dark in the room. And they have a guy, it takes four guys. They come out and they're holding this big giant table. And on the table are stacked these mahogany boxes. And they come out and each mahogany box has the player's name written on it. And they present it to him. And they're sitting on these round tables and a bunch of players. They're all dressed up. And they were showing these grown men opening this mahogany box and they were just bawling. Because it was a culmination of a lifelong path. Yeah, struggle. A lifelong struggle starting from Pop Warner football to a dream that becomes reality with those mahogany boxes and opening it up. And these...
These are not normal rings. No. These are solid gold rings with multiple diamond sets. And I mean, every ring is worth like $150,000. And they're just... I mean, they're so big and gaudy, but they are... Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I put on a Super Bowl ring. There was a guy I met at a charity thing I did here. And I put it on. I can't remember his name, to be honest with you. He was a Raider. I put it on and was like... Yeah, I could deal with that. He let you put it on? Yeah, he let me put it on. I put it on my finger and I walked around, you know, like in the little tent where we were and I was looking down at it going, holy crap, that is awesome. Bolitnikov let me wear a ring. Did he really? I don't know if it was, I can't remember if it was a Super Bowl or AFC championship or something. Did you ask? Oh, I asked. I asked. This is weird. I didn't ask. So weird. I did. What I did was. Well, he showed it to me. That was the deal. He showed it to me. He was showing it to me on his hand. And I said, oh my gosh, that's beautiful. And he said... Okay, not as weird. Yeah. That's okay. You're like, can I try that on? M1Sdog from Escondido. What was the word of the day? Comb. Correct. Yay! You just won yourself a pack of SeaWorld Fun cards worth $2.80 and a $50 gift card to ProFlowers.com. Hang on the line, lady. Awesome. Thank you. Good work. Okay. So, Jay.
Go ahead and get M1 Ryan on the line because I want to read this email and talk to M1 Ryan. This is great. Mike, you may think I'm way out of line for this or being nitpicky, but I still want an opinion. I met this girl at work who's pretty cool. We've hung out with mutual friends and we've hung out with mutual friends and went to see a movie about a month ago. And this last Saturday night, she had me over to her place to make me dinner. She has a nice apartment. It's all good. I'm pretty impressed. Well, she pulls a Henry's bag out of the fridge and it has some black styrofoam container with pre-made stuffed mushrooms that she puts in her toaster oven and then whips out a bag of salad and serves it with some weird raspberry dressing.
Dude, this was possibly the worst dinner showing of all time. I'll remind you that this girl was, as Woods says, a dime. Now, Woods calls a 10. A girl that's on a scale of one to 10, she's a 10, she's a dime. Okay? Guy says, but toaster food and a bag of salad? Hey, don't knock yourself out, Betty Crocker. I was actually pissed. If I was making dinner for somebody, I would cook. If I couldn't cook, I'd buy a cookbook, download something, buy something. Freaking Henry's mushrooms and a bag of salad and some weird raspberry dressing. Where's the beef? I don't know. I thought it was weird. M1 Ryan. This is my opinion. Love it or hate it.
I would never go out with this girl again, and I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Hang on. Hear me out. The reason I would never go out with this girl again is because it bothered me. It's not going to get any better. If, by the way, this doesn't bother you, by all means. Like Jay would be stoked. Jay would be stoked. Absolutely. He would never care. Right. All in. But if that's something that bugs you, it's not going to get better. Right. So that's just not the girlfriend. It doesn't make her bad. It could get better. It doesn't make her bad. It could get better. Oh, absolutely. You tried so hard on the first date. No. That's her best showing on the first date. No. Kim could not cook to save her life on her first date. People get better at it. She's probably young. If she's a dime, like he's saying, I bet you she's all young and hot. And she probably doesn't. You said that with disdain. Disgust. Disgust. She's probably like 22. And high. Maybe send us a picture. So she doesn't know yet. And she's doing the best that she can. It sounds like she popped in a frozen pizza. I have bagged salad. I'll do that and then chop up vegetables and add to it. No. But for the base? But just sticking something in a toaster and opening a bag and pouring it on a plate is nothing. I made my opinion so quick. I'm going to admit it. I screwed up. You did? Yeah. You're reversing? I'm reversing. L-O-B, you just reminded me.
When I first started dating Rebecca, she made me a baked potato by boiling it. It doesn't matter. That's completely different, I think, because she went through the effort of trying to make a big meal. Oh, wait, you're right. And she just didn't know. Rebecca didn't do that. This girl's like, oh, I'll just pop it in the toaster. Rebecca didn't do that on the first date either. We'd been dating for a while, and she was just going to make me dinner. Yeah, but... On your first date, L.O.B., you're supposed to go off. Oh, my gosh. No, you aren't. If you're the guy you are, she doesn't know if she's into this guy yet. They'd been dating, it said, and this was the first time at her place. They went on one date to the movies or something? Big whoop. She's not going to break the bank on this joke. They hung out with mutual friends and then went to see a movie about a month ago. Yeah. And then this last Saturday night, she had him over to make dinner. That's her first date. Big whoop. M1 Ryan, you there? Yeah, yeah, I'm here. You didn't like it at all. It was ridiculous. It was no real effort put into it. That's what really bothered me. She went to the store. Oh, wow. She didn't care. I agree with her. If she had said, you know what, I'm going to go pick up some food and we can have dinner, that would have been one thing. But you made this whole thing like...
I'm going to make you dinner. That's it. That's it. That's the one. That's it. That'll get you. That is lame. I'm going to make you dinner. If you're doing that, she made a big deal like, I'm going to make you dinner. It's going to be so romantic. It was all coming from her. And I was like, oh, awesome. Terrific. This would be terrific. Fantastic. Pre-made stuffed mushrooms from Henry's is pretty weak on a first half. Absolutely. And I got a question for you, Ryan, my friend. who I'm in 100% agreement with. Thank you. Had you shown up at her house and there had been a plate of beautiful stuffed mushrooms and a bowl, like with those big wooden bowls with the wooden fork and spoon. And she was like a salad bowl. And it looked really pretty. And you didn't know that it came from Henry's. You would have been stoked, I'm sure. Yeah. No. How do you know? And there's chicken. Yeah, dude. Like, that's it, though, bro? Well, that's kind of an... Like, L.O.B. doesn't eat meat. I would have been pissed off, though, because, you know what? I can't stand mushrooms. Well, I can't either. Like, all I had was the filling from these mushrooms and this half-assed salad. Don't you kind of go with something you know people are going to be on board with on the first day? Like, make a chicken. Always pasta. Just stick with pasta on the first day. Pasta, chicken, yeah. Weird observation.
Find out what my likes and dislikes are. He's right. Fair enough. I didn't even think about this when she first told me she was going to make dinner. I didn't even give her, well, let me give you a list of what I like. You're making dinner? Can I say this too? Weird observation. I think. Raspberry dressing is weird. Absolutely. It's good. It's good. It's a leap. I personally like it, but to assume, I would go with something like, you know, so like Italian or ranch. If you're cooking for your girlfriends. Maybe you get the raspberry. It's good. I love the raspberry. A lot of guys like raspberry. With some candied walnut. Oh, all in. It's so good. It's a leap. Someone like Woods, like my little brother's the same way. I make this salad. It's delicious. It's got these like mixed greens and candied walnuts and the cheese and everything. Ryan, how was this? This one had like dried cranberries in it. Yeah. Sounds good. I love that in my salad. It's disgusting. And I make that and I think it's delicious. They have that at fancy restaurants. I'm all in.
Hey, Ryan, because I knew and had read your email, I'd sympathize with you, bro. Thank you. I especially sympathize with the weird dressing. And so we made a little song for you, pal. So I hope you enjoy this. Wow. We made out in my cheddar. She put the moves on me. That's when it happened. Ooh, it happened. She walked into a front door, front door. She used a raspberry dressing. The kind you buy at a hill food store. Rassing. Maybe cooking for me was a real freaking joke. Rassing.
That's for you, pal. Can I ask Ryan? Yeah. How old is she? You know, I think she's probably about like 23 or so. So she's still... Jackpot. You should have made a joke about... First of all, you should have said, oh, you're making dinner? What do you think about making? Because you should have figured out. Maybe she didn't have a clue. Who cares about dinner? You're the 23-year-old. Spoken like a true 47-year-old. Absolutely. You know what, though? No matter how old you are, Todd had been married before. I was 21. I didn't know what I was doing when I started with him. But I said, mom. I called my mom. Oh, yes. You get a recipe. You try and figure something out. You don't just throw something in a toaster. Food Network. Rachel Ray. Yeah. Just watch. I mean, just put in that much. Time to learn. That's all. What color hair? What color? Something's hot, just can't. Four. What color hair? Is it like a strawberry blondish? Oh, mamacita. Oh. Strawberry, strawberry blonde. Height and weight. Height and weight. Ah, creeps. Height and weight. Jesus Christ. I wasn't giving her a physical. You said she was a dime. You guys get a...
Maybe like bucko five soaking wet. Oh, my God. Little Miracle. Guys have no idea how much girls are. Guys have no clue. A bucko five is so skinny. Cup size? What? Oh, my God. Kind of nice in the palm of my hand. Okay. Oh, my God. Winner. Winner. What size is it? My hands now, I take a pretty large-sized baseball glove, so I don't know what. It's like a small bee. Take up. I became alive. Oh, my gosh. You guys are creeps. Big boobs. Sounds like this guy just wants a very... He got an idea of what he thinks a lady should be. Of course. And he's right. She didn't have to cook. She could be amazing everywhere else. So don't blow it out of the water and say you're gonna. LLB, you're right. She didn't have to cook, but she invited him for dinner. Okay, we'll realize, alright, she's a little nut if she thinks that this is cooking. And we'll give it a little more time, and then once I know her enough, I'll be like, hey, guess what, sweetheart? You can't cook. You've got this, this, and this going on for you, but you can't cook. That's okay. LLB's got a point. I mean, listen, 23-57, C-cup, 105 pounds. Give her a break. Strawberry blonde hair. Oh, wow. She wasn't that bright. Oh, she's not that bright. You knew what you were signing up for.
It was just the end of the road. The cooking thing was just the last straw. It's the tipping point. She was dumb as a post. Then what did you expect? A gourmet meal? Are you going back for seconds? No. God, no. So you will not see her again? No. I can get cute and dumb anywhere. That's unbelievable. Let's isolate that. Yeah, let's isolate that. John Mayer. I don't want cute and dumb. I want cute and smart. But God knows that ain't going to happen. But cute, dumb, man. You're okay. All right. All right. All right. Now you've gone too far. Oh, my God. Maybe you send us your picture. Go back to the cave, man. I will tell you this. This guy, this guy's probably pretty sharp cat to talk like that. That or he's got a lot of money. You got a lot of money? You got a lot of money? I got loads of money. That's why I'm dating a 23-year-old wannabe model. Son of a... Get some. You know what? It's real easy to say when you're just a voice on the ring.
Hey, you guys called me. I'll be happy to come down. Maybe come to our meet and greet. Yeah, come to the meet and greet. There'll be plenty of 23-year-olds for you to make fun of there. Just incredible. For singles. Yeah, come to our meet and greet for singles. I want to see this guy. Doesn't sound like he has a problem meeting girls. Please bring her so we can see what she looks like, too. Yeah, please. You know what? I'll tell her I'm bringing her out on another date. And when we show up at the meet and greet, I'll be like, well. Here's our date. Enjoy yourself. I'll be over here. Oh, wow. That's so funny. Oh, that's funny. I wonder why you're still single. Ryan, Ryan, do not let L.O.B. know who you are. If you do come to the meet and greet, do not let L.O.B. know who you are. Get a bowling ball dropped on your foot. I'll be the guy wearing the fake mustache. All right. We'll see you at the East Village Tavern in Bowl on Friday night, 5 to 7. Would love to see you, and maybe you bring her with you, and we find out. Yeah. Unless she hears this, in which case she won't ever talk to you again. Right. I'm going to show up, and if she hasn't heard this whole bit so far, somehow she's in the dark. I'll bring her along with me, and yeah, turn her loose. I would love it. Turn her loose. Turn her loose. One man's trash. Oh, my. Another man's treasure. That's true. I love it. Thank you. Someone will be happy to have that beautiful woman. That's right. Hey, thanks for the call, bro.
Thank you for coming on. Good luck finding someone. O.B. has a look on her face right now. It is not good. All business over there. Hey, listen. To his defense, she used the raspberry dressing. Who does she think she is? She's a 10. She can use raspberry dressing. No. No, she can't. Yes, she can. Not if all she's serving is a salad mushroom. I would vomit. He didn't come there for the dinner. Didn't he? He said she was for the dessert. Dumb as a pose. Yeah, he sounds like he needs to lose a little weight. He sounds like he needs to lose a little weight. Fat voice? Fat voice. Fat voice. Fat voice. Hey, what about you, fat voice? He's my fat belly fit to my Porsche. That's right. I can hear it in your voice, fat voice. Jimmy Kimmel did a street segment to see if people knew the national anthem better than Christina Aguilera. And we have the audio. You do not.
Want to miss this audio. It's next. I can't wait to meet him at the meet and greet. Oh, me too. Bet you LLB thinks he's foxy. Bet not. Bet she won't admit it. Oh, wow. What if he's black LLB? He wasn't, I could tell. Yeah. Yeah, sign me up for that. Jimmy Kimmel did a street segment to see if people knew the national anthem better than Christina Aguilera. And we have the audio and we will play it for you coming up. Meet and greet is on Friday. Singles welcome. Everybody's welcome. Couples welcome. But if you're single, we'll put a little wristband on you so you'd be identified. And then you can meet somebody and... Wiener time. From five to seven. Maybe you fall in love. Maybe you, you know, meet somebody that you really love. Jay just got a new clip, it sounds like. Tried it on real good.
There's happy hour prices. Jay will be performing. That's right. There are the winds out of my sail. He's terrified of singing in public alone, and he will be doing that. And not only singing any song, a love song, which we'll be dancing to. He hasn't told us what. Do you know what? I do. Have you been practicing? Yes. Tell us. Tell us. No, it's a surprise. Why? Is it the one we talked about yesterday? No. I want to look forward to knowing what it will be. Why? It's a surprise. Me too. That's why you have to go. Okay. Oh, boy. With a surprise. Oh, it's going to be something with a bit in it. A little bit. Okay. He doesn't have to do it. We're making him do it. He has to do it. He has to do it. He's going to do it. Yeah, I'm going to do it. But let him do what he wants because it's his. See, I feel as a listener. I feel as a listener. Correct me if I'm wrong, Sienna. But I feel as a listener. If I know he's singing Spandau Ballet. True. I'm like. I have to see that. See, as a listener, I'm thinking, I have to see it no matter what. What if he says a song that they're like, eh? He can't. Well, exactly. So it doesn't matter. Find out what he's singing there. I don't want to know until he's singing it. I want to know. What is it? What is it? Nope. Tell me. I don't trust him. This is a direct command. Do you know?
Do you really not know? I really do know. Yeah, I really do. I downloaded it yesterday. Found the karaoke version. What is it? Printed out the lyrics. Don't do it. It's a surprise. Now, I had him at extreme more than words. You had him at that? It's going to be good. He now says, well, we had talked about it, and he now says it's something different. I was just asking everybody on their opinion, and everybody's opinion was like, that's the song you have to do. And I was like, you don't tell me what I have to do. Maybe we tell him what he has to do. No. He's going to do great. You're going to love it. 47-year-old man. You could slow dance to it. It's a real song. What? What is it? Wait a minute. I can relate, Jake. See? Finally, Hoyle and I are on the same page. It's true. Nobody tells a kid what to do. Oh, my God. You're not the kid. I'm the kid. You're not the kid. We're both the kid. You can't both be the kid. Yeah, you're the kid and I'm the kid. I'm the kid. I am older than you. I've probably been the kid longer than you have. No, you haven't. I was the kid when you were a kid. When I was a real kid. Yeah, when you're an actual kid. You're not the kid. Stop stealing bits. Jay. Yes, sir. You hold on to it. I'm going to fight the power. Fight the power, man. Don't tell until they get there. You tell them, Hoyle. That's right. You won't know until I go on stage. Dance floor and then let everybody go out there and then I'll do karaoke after you. What if there is a stage? Yes, Hoyle. Of course. Will you? Oh, yeah. You'll sing? Yeah, people pay a cover charge. That's the way. They're not going to pay. It's a free event. Hoyle, don't give it away.
You're going to now that you've said it. The kid doesn't give away free deals? I don't give it away at Gordon Beer. She ain't giving it away there. Don't you? Has anybody been to this venue? Is there, like, a stage? Oh, no, there's not a stage, but it's big. It will be great. Oh, perfect. I love East Village. I just walk through the crowd singing. That would be better. No, we'll set up a little area for you, probably. We'll put people around you in a circle. It's a sphere. Oh, my gosh. There's an upstairs that overlooks on the downstairs restaurant. Like a balcony, like a loft. So we'll put you upstairs and look up at you, and we'll dance below. And everybody can see you. Like a loft, exactly. Great. Everybody's eyes on you. Laughing, pointing, joshing. Judging. Judging eyes. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, I know. Sorry. I'm trying to hold this in. Jay, you're not going to admit to the song? No. Okay. I got an idea, then, since you won't admit to the song. How about you guys do a bet this weekend? If Jay loses...
to do an encore with Hoyle and sing Country Boy by John Denver. That's funny. In. Wow. In on that. What did I do to disturb any of this? Tell us a song. I'm a country boy. Life on the farm's got laid back. Got eggs on the griddle. That's right. I love it. It's cakes on the griddle, you nuts. I don't know. I got Jimmy Dean sausage out of stock, boy. You don't even know what you're talking about. I'm going to come down there with a six-pack of whoop-ass and crack a few open, boy. It's cakes on the griddle, numbnuts. You guys, it's okay. Don't worry. Wow. Roadmen. Oh, I bet you got a job with a three-piece suit, don't you? Yes, I kiss my mouth, you ignorant piece of soap. Can you kiss your mama with that mouth? You got to put a pork chop around your neck. Take it easy, boys. Take it easy. I want to talk to your mama because I know she's sitting right there. Oh, really? Well, don't just sing it. Bring it. I will bring it. Wow. Crack it open. You know what, man? I think I have to hang up before I break character.
I'm like a southern black woman now. I can't tell if you're southern or if you're from Cairo. I don't know. This is Egyptian. Oh, my gosh. What are you talking about? Oh, my gosh. That's pretty good. I have to admit, that's pretty good. That was pretty good. Hey, thanks for letting me call in and crack jokes with you guys. You got it, dude. Thank you, Chris. We love you, buddy. We love you. Oh, well. What is Woods doing? Do not prod the listeners. So anyway, come to the B3 on Friday. Are you ready to hear Jimmy Kimmel? Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel doing a segment where he goes out on the streets and asks people if they know the national anthem better than Christina Aguilera. It's always funny when somebody screws up the national anthem because we all know the words, or at least we think we know the words. It's different when you're on the spot. So we sent my cousin Sal out onto Hollywood Boulevard today to see how many people actually know all the words to the song we all know the words to. I'm going to recite a line from the national anthem. I want you to sing the very next line, okay? All right, and you're going to do it in a Christine Aguilera wig.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight? I can't remember the rest of the words now. You make me sick. I do. Do you know what? Or the ramparts we watched. That is correct. Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight? It's way harder when you start like that, though. Yeah, it is. I didn't start from the beginning. Something about the... Gallantly fight. Gallant fight. Wow. I don't know the rest. I don't know the national anthem. Oh my gosh. Wow. They would have totally gotten to that.
Woods, if I put you on the spot and asked you to sing the national anthem, could you do it? Try it. Let me Google the... Yeah, that's what I just started doing. Got them. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready. Anytime. Oh, just go ahead and start? Yeah, start soon. Wow. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air Gave Proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. Wow. Wow. Nice. There was one word. Yeah. Did you know? You stopped. Truth or proof?
I have proof. I thought for a second it was gave truth through the night, but then I realized that doesn't make sense, and it's proof, yeah. Oh, isn't that great? I love our Star Spangled Banner. That made me so nervous. I don't think I would have been able to do it. That made me so nervous. I never thought about it until now. Can you guys do the Pledge of Allegiance still? Oh, yeah. Sienna. Hopefully. Sienna? Sienna, try singing the Star Spangled Banner. Try it. No. Come on. She was like, she could see her thinking about it. She thought about it. She thought about it and she was like, no. You don't want to try it? Can I? Go ahead. I don't want to. Do it. I'm so nervous. You can do it. Why are your boobs all red? Yeah. I'm nervous. I don't. All right. You look at the lyrics over here and I'll try it. Okay. I'm going to screw it up. I don't know the words. I'm overthinking it. You're overthinking it. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming. And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave. Wow, nice run. Nailed it. Nice. It ain't easy. It ain't easy. Can I make a confession? What? When I was watching Christina Aguilar sing. Yeah. I wasn't really paying that close of attention because I didn't notice that she messed up the words. You didn't? No. And then it was everywhere. And I was like, oh, yeah, she told me. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. Oh, man. I can't believe that. At our house, at that Super Bowl party, everybody was like, did she just mess that up? In my defense, I was holding the baby. Yes. Changing diapers. Of course. I'm an idiot.
Let's do some Woods of Wisdom. You can call us if you have a question for Woods for Woods of Wisdom. He gives out guy advice. If you have guy advice, call us for that. You ready, Woods? I'm ready. All right, you can call us, 570-1949. If you have a question that is a guy question, meaning, you know, something about dating, something about fashion for dudes. Something about the Star Spangled Banner. Well, that's not necessarily a guy thing. Isn't it? Is it? A lot of guys died for that song, my friend. So did a lot of ladies. Okay. Okay. All right. More men, statistically. Thank you, L.O.B. Oh, my. It's a statistic. It's a fact.
Woods. Yes. I have a friend who likes to take his shirt off when we're walking down the street in PB or wherever. He's in good shape, but I have a no, no shirt policy for myself. Is it out of line to ask him to throw a shirt on? M1 Mark. Here's the deal. Yes, it is out of line for you, Mark. And I, too, have friends like this. I have you, Madam Mike, those two guys that came in last summer. Yeah. If those guys never had to wear a shirt, they'd be happy. Yeah. They'll pull it off at a bar, at a club. There's nothing you can do about shirtless friend. There's nothing. Indoor shirtless friend is weird. Indoor shirtless friend is weird. That's ISF. Yes. But just SF, shirtless friend. Walking down the beach in PB. Listen, the guy's earned it. He's going to flaunt it. He's earned it, man. He's earned it. Now, here's the deal. If I had it. Might pull it off. From time to time. On the beach, absolutely. On the beach, yeah. He's walking down the boardwalk. I would drive with my shirt off. Yeah, I would too. Because I've never had it. This is what I'm stuck with. You have a couple hairs on your chest now. I know.
I know. There's one black hair sticking out of his nipple. Stop shaking your moob. See, Matt will go for walks on the beach and he'll take his shirt off and be like, is this redneck if I do this? I'm like, no, go for it. M1 Kyle from Claremont. How's it going? Good. Okay, buddy got married about two months ago, three months ago. And he's a good close friend. And our immediate group of friends. What? Yeah, it's rude. I mean, you never want to tell anybody that they need to buy gifts. I mean, it's, you know, I have a weird thing with gifts, and I think I brought this up.
Brought this up in the air. I spent about two grand to fly out to a wedding, and it was expensive. It was in Charleston, and it cost me a lot of dough. We got there. We found out we had to pay for our own tuxes. It was like $170. Didn't get them a thing, and not gonna. I'm not gonna because I spent that much dough. Now, if these guys are local dudes, and they're just your buddies that you hang out with all the time. Man, they should nut up and buy you a gift. They definitely should buy you a gift, but you can't tell them to. You're not going to get a $25 crock pot? Me? Well, dude, I mean, if you've already spent all that dough, what's another $25 for a dopey gift? That was the $2,500 I already spent that put me in the hole, you know what I mean? But aren't you just daring him to... No, because you know what he did? I had to pay for my own tuxedo when I was there, which I didn't know was coming. Were you in the wedding party? Yeah. pays for their groomsmen tuxes. Oh, every wedding I've ever been in, I didn't have to pay for the tuxes ever. Amazing. I've never in my life heard of bridesmaids pay for their tuxes. That's why you're asked to be in it. Oh, that's the commitment? I've never paid for one. It's going to cost me a lot of money to be in this person's wedding. Especially if it's in a different coast. You can't tell somebody that they have to buy you a gift and you can't put it on the invitations. You can let your boys know where you're registered. Well, yeah, that's the thing. We're on that big day registry.
Yeah. Which is like they pay for your honeymoon, basically. Oh, God. It's kind of better, actually, because I don't want to freaking talk hot. No, that's cool. That's kind of the new thing. People can get cash, which is awesome. Hey, thanks. I appreciate the call, Kyle. All right. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Last one. Woods, I moved here for work five years ago, and I have had trouble meeting friends. It's hard to just walk up to some dude when you're 30 and be like, hi, I want to be friends. You look like a weirdo. I've also met some cool dudes at the gym, but there's no way I'm asking a dude for his number. Do you have any suggestions? I just imagined it. There's a whole, I mean, they did a whole movie about this called I Love You, Man. And the guy, Paul Rudd, doesn't have guy friends. I mean, he's more comfortable doing the girl stuff. His best friends were always his girlfriends. And that's Mikey. And, you know, work is always a great place to meet friends. I don't know what you do for a living. And what I did when I moved here, because I had Mike, and then I met Jay, and I met Todd and Matt, but we don't all hang out that much. I went and joined a baseball team.
And those guys are some of my best pals in this town. And you have to, you know, there's all kinds of rec flag football leagues. There's all kinds of stuff. Basketball leagues. These guys will be your boys. And even if you're not into sports, whatever you're into, there's something for it. Yeah, for sure. Well, right. And if there's someone that you talk to at the gym that you like, like maybe it's someone that works there or whatever. No, what if they work out there? Well, obviously, you've sparked a conversation because you know you like him enough to know that you want to hang out. You saw him from across the room, and then he saw you, and there was a connection. And now I'm a girl, so I don't know, but it seems easier to be like, hey, you want to go get a drink after this? That's weird. That would never happen. It sounds like a pickup line. Might as well say, do you want to put your hand on my pants in the car? Thank you. But what if you're working at a job together? Let's go get a beer after this. That's different. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. At work is different. You can't do it at a gym? At a gym, you can't. No. Hey, dude. Hey, dude. You want A when we're done? When we're done with our reps. But obviously you've spoken before. He doesn't think they're hitting on him. Not necessarily. I don't mean like someone you've never talked to. He might still. Sienna. Oh, wow. I'm telling you right now. I'm a girl. Thank God. Hey, I don't think he's sweet.
Of course you don't. I'm just trying to make friends. That's what I'm doing, man. I don't think there's anything weird about it. It's a little weird. Why? It's a friend making a friend. Yeah, but that's just not the right venue for it. You're all freaky, man. You're acting like an idiot. You go into the gym to work out, right? Right. So you're in there with like-minded people. Correct. They want to work out too. Right. Instantly. You have that connection. The gym is a very private thing for a lot of people, you know? Now, if you're in a class, like a... You're not going to the bathroom, man. You're going to the locker room. You're going to have a beer. Yes. And maybe make out a little. Right when I said it out loud, I was like, that's a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. You're spotting a guy, right? Yeah. You're working on his glutes. Oh, yeah. And you say, after you've done a couple of... Like, maybe he's on his down squat. Yeah. He's on his down squat and he's down here, right? Uh-huh. And you go, hey, want to get a beer? Not when he's mid squat. Yeah, that's weird. Why?
You like beer, he likes squats. I was just imagining like maybe you talk to each other. Oh, what up, dude? Maybe he has like a Chargers shirt on and that was a good game last night. And then you spark a little conversation. You want to go make out? Let's go get a beer. I would wait until there's like either. I like Steelers too. A party that you can invite him to or like a big event or concert around town. Hey, do you want to go to a game with me? Yeah, I'm going to go surf this weekend. Maybe I'm going to grab my mountain bike. Yeah, I mean. The thing, if you want to make friends, you need to be active. You're not going to make them unless you make them online like Jay and you're playing video games online. You're not going to really make good friends that way, but... Oh, really? Mikey Show, hello. Hey, guys. It's Gay Nick. Hey, Gay Nick. I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. Well... You were about to say, of course you don't. I don't know what you're talking about. No. You were about to say, of course you don't. His name is Gaylord Nick. Don't assume things. I don't. You do assume. I didn't. True or false? Do you? Do you think I'm gay? False. False? False. True or false? I'm gay. False. Thank you. That's correct. You're welcome. My name is Gaylord Nick.
Jay said fossil one time. One time. One time. One time too many. And you go by gay. Right, because I don't want to go by the name Gaylord. Because it's dorky. Yeah. Why not go by your last name, Nick? Nick Nick? No, just say, call me Nick like we call Stephen Woods. Yeah, I'm Woods. That makes sense. I just have never done it. That's a good idea. I've always gone by gay. How'd that go in elementary school, middle school? It went fine. There was no issues. In high school, there was a time. You were a cheerleader in high school. A yell leader. A yell leader. On the spirit squad. I was a spirit leader. A contour. I was also state champion gymnastics all four years. I was on the varsity gymnastics team when I was a freshman. I could have been on it when I was in seventh grade. Wow, synchronized swimming? No, I wasn't a synchronized swimmer, Lauren O'Brien. Weird. There's nothing weird about it. My name is Gayneck, and I'm a completely straight guy. I'm very good looking. I'm very handsome. Did you take dance lessons when you were a little kid? For one semester, yes.
Semester? I was in college. No, I meant when you were like a little kid. Oh, when I was a little kid. No, I didn't. Why do you ask? I was just wondering. I just knew someone who did. Sounds like you're just trying to find things out that aren't true. Yeah. Not like I haven't had to deal with that before. Don't worry, Gaylord. You sound so sexy, Santa, and so do you, Lauren. I like girls. You sound awkward in saying that. What? You sound really awkward and uncomfortable saying that. What's your favorite part of a woman? Her boobies. I don't believe you. Ah, that's the woman I'm sexually attracted to. What's your favorite drink that you drink when you're out? A mimosa. A mimosa. I meant with Jack in it. Literally. Who's Jack? Jack. I love your face. We've been talking about Jackson ever since the fire went out. I'm going to Jackson. We got Les Stroud, right? Yep. Les Stroud, Survivorman, on the show next. Yeah, I'm going to Jackson. Look out, Jackson Town. Jackson Town. Jackson Town. Jackson Town. Jackson Town. Jackson Town.
Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. And I only have a few minutes with Les Stroud. So I want to get right to the interview on the phone with us right now. Is this Les? I'm here. Les, how are you? I'm doing well. How are you? I'm good. Les Stroud, Survivor Man. You've seen the show, and there's a book coming out right now called Will to Live, which I can't wait to get, which is basically a survival story of seven different people facing really tough situations, correct? Yeah, I mean, it was my opportunity to take some of the more famous survival stories of all time, like Chris McCandless, the subject of Into the Wild movie, the Uruguayan rugby team that had to resort to cannibalism in the mountains.
And take these stories and sort of dissect them and say, you know what? Here's what I think they could have done. Here's what I think they should have done. And here's what I would have done differently. Okay. And that instantly I'm in. All the way. Instantly I'm in. Since I have you on the phone, I want to ask you about maybe my favorite episode of Survivorman ever. But it also brings up a moral question, which I'm going to ask you about as well. So I believe, and I could be wrong, but I believe you're in Australia. You're in a truck. You drove until the truck ran out of gas. Yep, that's right. And it was about 120 degrees Fahrenheit. You had a fever. Yes. You were, it was probably one of the most compelling episodes of TV I've ever seen. I was coming out of my skin, man. I mean, I can't imagine. Everybody knows what it's like to be sick. But to be sick in the wild. With already temperatures of 120 degrees in the day, you were facing the decision of, do I let the producers of the show know I need to have a helicopter come in and fly me out? You chose not to. You stayed and just sort of gutted it out. Talk to me about that experience. Yeah, it's forever to actually bring that out that way.
because generally speaking, it's like, well, what was the most closest you ever came to death, yada, yada. And, you know, the sensational answer is the jaguar in the jungle or the moose in northern Ontario. But it was that moment you just described that is the closest I've ever come to perishing because I got heat stroke. And it was really super intense. And I can tell you this, that in the DVD version, you know, and the version that we did up in Canada, I remember that moment in the Jeep when I had the heat stroke and I'm looking and I'm almost going down. And it plays longer. It plays the exact like in real time. And I had to edit it for what you guys saw south of the border a little shorter because it took a while. But when you watch it, I remember watching it back, you know, a month or two later in the edit suite. And I got goosebumps going, holy crap. It's hard to watch. It's hard to watch. You're watching someone that could possibly, you know. Yeah, and you can see it. I mean, and you can see that it's real and you can see how uncomfortable it is. But the moral question is that you have a wife, Sue. You've got two kids, a daughter, Raylan. You got a son, Logan. Was there ever a time where it was going through your mind, I'm putting them in jeopardy by staying here and not getting lifted out? I do go through that question. But what I do for that question is I...
arm myself and prepare myself with a lot of knowledge. I always go out. I mean, on one level, I'm being every man for your sake and for everybody's sake of sort of being the average guy out there. On the other level, I do know what I'm doing. And so I take great precautions before I get into whatever it is I'm getting into. And so my kids learned over the years that, you know, dad's not going to push it to the point where he's going to die. And, you know, that was the closest moment, was a situation like that. Other than that, when I'm dealing with the beasts out there, the creepy crawlies and the jaguars, I mean, I'm comfortable. I feel confident. I sort of know what I'm doing. And you know what? Since you've gone there on the moral level, all that said, it's way more dangerous for me to hop out in that cab after this interview and get out on a highway than it is to be doing the things that I do. I would say that for the most part, You're probably right. The only reason that I questioned this one is because, dude, you looked ill. It looked like you, I mean, literally, and to your own admission, it's as close to death as you've come. It's both my favorite episode and the most gut-wrenching episode to see a man go through. And do you know what season that's on? I want to get it. Yeah, that's season one Survivorman, I believe. I think that was in the...
Oh, no, I'll backpedal. Season 2. Season 2 Survivor. Sorry, a shameless plug, but you could go to lestroud.ca, and you can get, you know, all the stuff. Compelling television. I mean, it's as compelling as television can be. Well, thank you. Well, that moment in all its purity is on the DVD where it's longer. And I remember saying to the editor, do not cut that. Just let it roll. Look at it. Look at my face. Look at my face ashen. You can see what's going on in my eyes. You can see it. And we were just spellbound. And I said, OK, good. Well, that's you know, there you go. Yeah. Well, now you eventually were able to sort of work through the virus. It works its way out of you. You're still out in these in these conditions. But the other question I had for you was they the the local tribesman had given him one ostrich egg and he was saving it. He was like, I'm going to wait until it gets bad and I don't have anything left. and it finally got to the point where you had to eat this ostrich egg. What you did is you started a fire, you stuck the ostrich egg on there, and you hard-boiled it, and you crack it with your knife, and you're eating it with the shell, and it looked so good. It looked like them. And the look on your face, when you put it in your mouth, he gets this look on his face, and he goes, oh. And it was like the most delicious filet mignon. How good was that ostrich egg?
And that's the thing is so many of these things, there's two levels, so many of these things, A, they don't taste that bad as it is. Some stuff tastes pretty good out there, even the creepy stuff once you get past plate fright. And then the second part is on day four, you know, you're ready to eat just about anything. You're really hungry. And, yeah, I mean, that's why when you see some other shows and they make it all look gross and disgusting, it's not. It's not. You eat the witchy grub in Australia. It actually tastes really good. And so, yeah, but on day four and day five and day six and day seven, it tastes amazing. I understand what you're doing there, Les. You're obviously trying to take a crack at me because when I was in Australia, I ate the grub and it... was difficult to eat. But at the same time... It's got nothing to do with that, mate. It's got to do with drinking your own pee. I just don't follow that at all. Well, listen. I mean, hey, listen. In defense to me, in defense to me, the pee-pee was inside of snake skin, which is pretty disgusting. Les Stroud has a new book out. It's called Will to Live. I'll be getting it. And it looks...
Fantastic. And season two is the one that's got the episode that we're talking about of Survivorman. Les, thank you for taking the time, man. We appreciate it. Let's move it again. All right, man. We'll see you. It's Les Stroud. It's awesome. Awesome. It's when you look at something that you just cannot do. I look at me and I go, I cannot do that. I am not a survival guy. I don't like to be out in the woods. I really don't even like to be outside that much unless it's on Sunday playing ball. Not eating? I mean, let's do it. One of the most amazing things that he does is when he needs water. And he says that when you're out in weather like that, that's what will kill you the quickest, is not having water. And you've got to drink something like eight pints of water a day just to survive. So he's got to create it. So he makes a well. You make a well. You know how to do it? No.
I'll teach you because you may need to know this one time. Will I? Maybe you'll be out there. On the baseball field out at El Cajon High. All right. If we run out of water. Maybe you'll be in like a plane crash. Hopefully not. Good Lord. Hopefully not. I'm leaving in like three weeks. So here's what you do. It's okay, Woods. You'll be fine. Will I? Yeah. What you do is you dig a hole, okay? How deep? Big enough that you could put a basketball in it. Okay. All right. Basketball size hole. Basketball size hole. With my hands, I dig. Yep. Okay. Whatever you can find. Whatever you can find. Okay. And what you're going to need, you're going to have to scavenge. And what you're scavenging for, which you can probably find, is all you need is a piece of plastic. That's it. Just a piece of plastic. Any piece of plastic will do. How big? Well, big enough to cover the hole. Okay? Big enough to cover the hole. I worry that I wouldn't be able to find plastic. Yeah. You'll be able to find it. Saran wrap.
Trust me. If you scavenge, you'll find something. Part of the plane. It's got to be plastic, though. Okay, I'll tell you what. Palm frond might work. Palm frond actually might work. That's what I was thinking in my mind. Yeah, it probably would. What is palm frond? Palm fronds are like a huge leaf. Palm tree leaf. Cover the hole. Well, no. Hang on. You need something like something you can catch water in. Okay? You stick that in the hole. Then you pee around the side of the receptacle. Then you cover it, put rocks around it, cover it with sand. And what you're doing is you're creating a mini rainstorm inside of there. It's going to evaporate to the top and purify and drip into the container. That's freaking incredible. I've seen them do it.
That is incredible. So you just drink your pee? No, it's not pee. It's water. It's pure water. It's not pee. But it started as pee. Now, if you had to and you were in a survival situation, you could drink your pee. But what you're doing in this situation is you're making pure water. You're making pure water. What you're doing is that pee, you know when water evaporates when you put it outside because of the heat? It evaporates? Yeah. It goes and evaporates to the top of that plastic, and it turns to dew, and it drips into the container, and that's pure water. I think we should have Mikey do this. I would do it. Let's do it. I would do it. You drink your pee. You're not drinking your pee. I know, but it's fun to say. I'd do it. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's film it. I'll try to start. Fire. Oh, I would love to see this stuff. Any of the stuff I've learned on, I love those shows. I love Man vs. Wild. You just love Man vs. Stuff. I love Man vs. Things, yeah. Food. Wild. Out on Man vs. Food now. Man vs. Couch. Man vs. Couch. I'd be totally in a good star in that show. I'd totally be in a good star. The couch won, though. Your couch won. Yeah, the couch wins every time. Hands down, the couch wins every time. We're coming up on Valentine's Day.
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Uncle Victor says that it's a good idea to tip your driver and a very bad idea to not tip your driver. Raise your hand if you know who JWoww is. Oh, there is. Four hands up. I was three hands up. You guys know. You're just trying to be cool. You've never heard of it. Sienna. What is it? Sienna, Jay, and Lauren O'Brien. I'm my unborn child. I did not know. Stop doing that. What? It's the creepiest thing you do. Don't swear on that. And you do creepy stuff. That's the creepiest. That is the worst. It makes me uncomfortable. Fair enough. JWoww is a person on the show Jersey Shore. Yep. Now I know. That's all I needed. And JWoww's a girl. Yep. JWoww has written a book about dating advice. Great. And was on the Today Show. Of course. And you said this is not for anybody under 21, and yet so many of the fans of Jersey Shore are much younger. They're right behind you, as a matter of fact. And they should be in school. Ella B., what is JWoww's personality? She's a tough girl. Tough. She always beats up or threatens to beat up other girls. Ella B. No, she'll be like, get in my face, I'll get in your face. I could not watch that show. She's kind of a hoe, isn't she?
No, she dresses like one. You know, the drinking and obviously like sexual things. I don't want to put it out there for my fans under 21. If you're over 21, being a whore is fine. You can be a whore. If you're over 21, it doesn't even matter. But for my younger fans, I don't think it's appropriate to have a 20-year-old whore. No, 19, 20-year-old hooas. You're trashy. You're trash. 21 is just trash. Now, if you're 22. Be a hooah. Have at it. Be a hooah. Smush. I wasn't like that at that age. Do you think it's okay after? I waited until 21. Then I became a massive hooah. Yeah. Then I had 400 partners. 21 to drink like that would be that promiscuous as well. I didn't drink before I was 21. Big fake nuts. Like his face is priceless. Well, maybe it's a good thing that she said that, you know, young fans. Oh, yeah. It's great to like her. She sounds like a great, great role model. You would be stoked. You'll be stoked, Sage, when you're, or Sienna, when Sage comes in and goes, I got JWoww's book and it's badass. I would say Sage, get out. Yeah, get out. Get out. I'm kind of lighthearted in that. You know, if you're going to go out, have a good time. Are you going to meet? Sounds like a 47-year-old woman. I know.
Yeah. Meet a guy and have a good time. You know, don't drink. Of course, on the first couple of dates, because you want to remember what they tell you. On the first couple of dates, you want to remember. You want to remember her. So the first couple of dates, so that you remember, don't go there. Third, fourth, fifth, sixth dates. Blackouts. Blackouts. You can trust them. I blacked out on this guy. I thought he was a gorilla. I called him the next day. It turns out, actual gorilla. Actual gorilla. Literally. Which was so embarrassing. So I'm like, what did I do last night? Bananas? What? And you know what the worst part was? Gorilla can't talk English. He calls me back. He's like, what? That's what it says. I said, what does that mean? Who are you? Who are you, you gorilla? I didn't know what I did with him. And he couldn't tell me he can't speak English. I blacked out. I trusted him. I had to talk to the zookeeper. The zookeeper's like, what were you doing in here with a gorilla? I'm like, I don't remember. What am I supposed to know? I don't know. I was drinking vodka. It's blacked out. I had vodka. Vodka. Vodka and cranberry. I had a vodka and cranberry. And I don't know. I ended up with a gorilla. But I will say.
I was 22. I was 22. I was 22. It's fine. I would never, let me repeat, never, ever sleep with a gorilla when I was 20. No. It's disgusting. I even drink vodka when I was 20. I wouldn't have anything to do. We drink beers. I thought a wine cooler was, you know, the only thing out there. Yeah. I didn't know anything. Now, 21? Vodka. Different story. You really want to have, you know, all eyes on them. Yeah. And you don't want to wake up the next day and be like, oh, did I push it too far? Did I say anything I didn't mean? Hey, is that a gorilla? Am I in the zoo? Oh. I saw it. I was at the wild animal park. Who did I punch in the face? Who punched me in the face? Oh, wait, that's just the way I look. Yeah. Where's my clothes? Where am I? Yeah. Who am I? The old. If you want to be on point. Where am I? Who am I? And who are you? Yeah, three bad questions to ask. Is that Kathy Lee? It sounds like Kathy Lee. It is. It is? Okay. Kathy Lee sounds younger than Jay White. Kathy, after 10 a.m. in the morning, Kathy Lee does a program with a woman named Yoda, and the two of them are on TV together. Right. Hoda, it is. Yeah, her name's Yoda. It's Hoda. Oh, it's Hoda. Hoda. It's Hoda.
Oh, I thought Yoda and Kathie Lee did a show. That might be more entertaining. Yes. A show we do together. Drink champagne, we will. SNL did a really funny parody about that. About Yoda? About Yoda and Kathie Lee, but it was Hoda and Kathie Lee. New releases next. Played this one for Sienna's dad, Keith Richards. Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed. Got new releases next. What's out on CD, DVD? Tell you next. Sienna, what's going on in news? Oh, this story is going to get me. It's one of the biggest stories out there right now. A baby boy, newborn baby boy, they're guessing about an hour old, was found alive in a toilet in an arena in South Carolina. The custodian discovered the baby in the toilet. And the baby's okay right now in the hospital. The baby's about three days old now. But they're trying to find out who this mother is. They're saying it is physically possible that a mother would not know that she gave birth. Apparently that somehow is a possibility. They got a show called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, but I've always thought it was a bit. Well, yeah, I know. And after somebody who just had a baby.
I don't know how you wouldn't feel the pain of giving birth, but, I mean, we don't know. This could just be a monster of a woman that just went in there and tried to get rid of the baby. They don't know. But it was at an arena after a circus event, or during a circus event, she went in there. They're checking video footage. There's no still camera on the bathroom, however. It's a rotating camera, so they're going to just try. And that woman's going to need medical attention, too. So, I mean, hopefully she's okay. Psychiatric attention. I mean, I'm just so glad the baby's okay. Wow. The custodian went in the bathroom and heard cries. Oh, my gosh. When I was reading it this morning, I was still talking about it. And I have to get a physical and examine to adopt a kid. I know. I know. It's not fair. Here's another story, which is just crazy. And everyone's talking about it is a pharmacy in Colorado. gave a pregnant woman an abortion pill accidentally. Now, this woman was six weeks pregnant. She went into the pharmacy to pick up an antibiotic that her doctor had prescribed to her. The pharmacist accidentally gave her an abortion drug by mistake. Now, they're saying that this woman could lose her unborn child because of the prescription drug error. This happened on Thursday. The prescription's called methotre...
And it's used with chemotherapy to treat cancer, but it's also used to terminate early stage pregnancies. So she said she felt nauseous. She immediately called the doctor and said that they had given her the prescription for someone with the same last name. And so the doctor, the pharmacist that gave it to her said, try and make yourself throw up, get it out of your system. So right now she is okay, but they don't know that the baby could have deformities because of it. Oh my gosh. These stories, I mean, those were like two of the real big stories today. And I hate reporting on them, but. You got to. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, there's still a chance she could have a happy, healthy baby, but she could miscarry. You know, you don't know. So we'll see what happens. Hopefully everything's OK. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Mike, do you know what a mayor pro tem means? Mayor pro tem? Yeah. No. Does anybody know what a pro tem? No. The one that's been voted in and then what the election has or the. Term hasn't started yet? I don't know. But the mayor pro tem of Dallas, his name is Dwayne Carraway, decided that, you know, Mike Vick has made a nice comeback. I'm going to give him a key to the city. Had this big ceremony. The whole thing. Gave him a key to the city of Dallas. That's an eagle. First of all, that's an eagle. He gave, you know, that's a Philadelphia eagle. Yeah. Gave it to Mike Vick from the city of Dallas. The mayor, Tom Leppert, said.
I had no idea that we were giving Mike Vick a key to the city of Dallas. Everything needs to be run through my office. Can't just be throwing around keys to the city. It doesn't make sense either. It is wild. So it's obviously raising some questions about what's going on down there in City Hall. Dallas has been a giant train wreck since the Super Bowl came to town. And that doesn't bode well for that mayor pro tem, whatever that is. And then this was a weird story. A very highly rated recruit out of Ohio. Ohio State recruited him. Well, he got arrested. And he got arrested for fondling a little girl while he was pretending to size her for her ROTC uniform. Turn the light. How old was this kid? This kid's 18. The child was 15. Called the girl into the room and said, hey, I'm the guy that does the measurements. Turn the lights off. Turned the lights off. Pulled her bra up. All this stuff, and he's got it journaled in this journal that he keeps. So he saw her boobs? No. Like, pulled her bra up over her shirt. You know what I mean? Like, I grabbed her bra and pulled it up. And he did this to apparently eight girls. What? And he had it written down. No charges will be filed against this man because there is, quote,
insufficient evidence. So they're not filing charges against this guy. Oh, the testimony of eight women. Exactly. His name is Chris Carter, but he will be attending Ohio State in the fall on a full scholarship. It was absolutely insane. Spent one night in jail. Wow. Wow. There's some monsters running around. No doubt, man. Weird. Very strange story. You don't want to miss our meet and greet. Friday night, the 11th, East Village Tavern and Bowl. Now, if you're single, Look out. Because we're going to have a lot of single men and women there. Singles will be distinguished by a little wristband we're going to give you. Couples can come. Couples can come. Anybody can come. But it's got to be, you know, a wristband for the single people. Five to seven. It's going to be fun. Drink specials. The whole thing. Happy hour prices. And Jay.
Singing a slow song. That's this Friday? Karaoke. Oh, I've totally got something else. Oh, no, you know. Did we find out if it's 21 and up yet? We'd probably want to let some folks know in case they're too young. Mostly sure, but you know how I am. We've got to make sure. I think, I don't want to say, but I'm. Maybe we make sure and then we say it. Yeah. We said something yesterday about it. Yeah. I'll do some research. I'll do some research, sweetly. Off the year. You can have kids there during the day because I've seen them, but it's always because it's a restaurant as well. But after a certain amount of time, later in the evening, it's 21 and up, but I'm not sure what time. Yeah, fair enough. New releases? New releases. Let's do some new releases. I've got them. What do you got? I got the new one by And You Will Know Us by The Trail of the Dead. It's called Tao of the Dead. The name of the band is And You Will Know Us by The Trail of the Dead. Great band. That's a long name for a band. It's a very long name for a band. And you will know us by the trail of the dead. Reminds me of the Beatles. I don't know why. This voice, maybe? Reminds me of Green Day a little bit. Yeah, that too. New one by Lion Eyes, Destruction Manual. That's not bad. Motorhead, the world is yours. Ooh, a little acoustic, Ace of Spades.
Different sound from Motorhead. A little bit. You guys ever popped a fresh Budweiser? Think that guy's ever slept with a three? Oh, wow. Or a two. Or a two. And then I know you're very excited about this one, Mike. The new Yanni album is out. Oh, good. It is out. Is it my dentist? Honey. Honey? Is he saying it all? Me? Yeah. Like, I know. Does he sing at all? I don't know. Does he just play instruments? Like, who listens to this? Vikings? It's inspirational. Maybe in like a yoga class. Dentist's office yoga class. Elevator. Lobby. Mike's car. How dare you? Maybe you listen to it while you're wearing Sperry Top Siders. Chardonnay. With a Chardonnay. A real cold Chardonnay. Ice cold. Ice cold Chardonnay in a glass.
And you're on the deck of the hornblower. Romantic. Hi, darling. They're out of the Riesling, so I just got a shirt. Do they have Gewürztraminer back there? I checked. I didn't see it, but that doesn't mean they don't have it. This is a beautiful, beautiful evening. It's much more wonderful than I had actually imagined. You know that scarf or that sweater that you have draped over your shoulders? Can I put that on a little chilly? Yeah, sure. I'll just have to untie it. Thank you. It's because it's tied around the front of my neck. You know where we should go next weekend? Where? Catalina. That sounds like a wonderful idea. You know, I hear there's a B&B on Catalina. Sorry, the Yanni music is about to stop. There we go. I understand there's a wonderful B&B on Catalina that we should check out. It's called The Bistro, which is so ironic. That is so ironic. I love ironic B&Bs. I love ironic restaurant names. Anything ironic is awesome. Do you remember when we were in New York and we ate at that little bistro? What was it called?
It was called Letage. And the reason that I remember it is because I had spilled white wine. Of course. On my. You just call it wine. On my L.L. Bean sweater. Yes. And we had to go to FAO Schwartz and I wore a big panda bear. In the cab. I remember. I remember. Remember? I totally remember. I accidentally exposed my breasts to the Egyptian cab driver. Oh, my gosh. Anyway. We got some DVD new releases today, too. What do you got? I know you're stoked about this one, too. I Spit on Your Grave, unrated. Oh, I can't wait. To be awesome. Well, I was waiting for the unrated version. Hey, wait no more. It is out. I spit on your grave. Imagine if I were an actor in Hollywood and my agent called me, Mike, we got a script here, want you to take a look at it. Yeah, no problem. What is it? It's exciting. It's called I Spit on Your Grave. It's so messed up.
You know what? Let's pass on this one. But you haven't even read it. Let me hear it. I think I have a bad connection. Did you just say that you want to spit on my grave? We have a bad connection because it sounds like you, my agent, a person that knows me personally, just offered me a role in a film called I Spit on Your Grave. Is there anyone we know in the movie? I don't know. I don't think so. This next one is called For Colored Girls. Oh, that's a big movie. That is. It's big. It's Tyler Perry. And I think... Does he dress up like a woman in it? Whoopi Goldberg is in it? No, Whoopi Goldberg's in it, yeah. It's supposed to be a giant letdown. Really? It's for color girls only. What's the matter with you? Don't you know a book when you hear one? You just relax. You scared to say anything. Middleman, never heard of it. Paranormal Activity 2. Never saw the first one. I was too scared. I was too scared, too. It was scary. You saw it? Uh-huh. It was scary. This one actually looked pretty weird and decent. It's kind of a funny story with Zach Galifianakis, which looked pretty good. That's the name of the movie? Uh-huh. It's called It's Kind of a Funny Story. I wasn't saying, hey, it's going to be kind of a funny story. It's called It's Kind of a Funny Story. All right. Zach Galifianakis is in it. Life as We Know It, Tamara Drew, My Soul to Take. A bunch of movies out today. Ong Bak 3.
Oh, I can't wait. Which is going to be rad. Oh, Ung Bak 3 is... I didn't mean the first two. It's not on Blu-ray yet. I hope they make a fourth. You're going to have to wait. I'll tell you what. I hope it's better than Ung Bak 2 because... Oh, yeah. I haven't loved Ung Bak 1. The original. The original. The original. Just call it Ung Bak. Well, did you guys know that Tony Jaa is in it? Chu Pong. Chang Prong is in it. Oh, yeah. Prematra Deju Dom is in it. Wait, wait, wait. Tony Jaa is in it. Yes, he is. Seren Yu. Wong Krakajang and Nirut Siren Jr. are in it. I picked that up. Of course. Wong Krakajang is pretty good. Direct by Panna Ritcry. It's directed by him, too. Zang Ruffwang. Panna Ritcry also did, oh, what was it called? The Revolting Blob? No. No, that wasn't it. That was not it. Are you sure that wasn't it? No, that wasn't it. On Buck 3, it is out. Yes! Feast on it. Can't wait. Can't wait. I'm going to like it on Facebook right now. Chances Sienna's brother Taylor has seen the first two on the box. No. Is it Japanimation? It's not Japanimation. My brother gets so mad when I say that. It's Japanimation, isn't it? No. Don't call it that. Idiot. That's what it is. Japanimation.
That's just Japan something. I like it, Woods. Yep. Why do you hear these angels? I'm starting to figure you out. Are you? Musically. Okay. I think. You like hip stuff, and you especially like hip stuff with kind of a southern thing going on. Like Ryan Adams is a southern. He's got that southern thing. North Carolina. Yep. I love singer-songwriters, and I love harmonies. And I literally logged on to iTunes yesterday. You told me last week, Woodsy, I need you to play some hits. I said, okay. So I went and I looked. I listened to the top ten songs on iTunes. They all curse. Eight of ten. Curse. And I'm like, I can't buy these. Why don't you buy the ones that don't have the clean? Sometimes they don't have the clean. Really? Yeah. Sometimes there's no clean version. And so I see this thing, and it says the Civil Wars. And I'm like.
Who the hell is that? I've never heard of them. They can't be any good. Click on it. I'm like, oh, wow. Bought the whole album. One listen. I listened to two seconds of this song. Bought the whole record. It's got a Southern-ness to it. You spend a lot of money on iTunes. Yeah. Wow. I do it for the good of the show. Invest in yourself. It's so good. And I'm like, wow, I'm getting old. I like easy listening music now. Do you guys hear a Southern thing? It's more like a wage. It's got a little Japanese feel to it to me. This song in particular might, but the rest of it. This sounds like I'm on a horse. When the bass drum and the little tambourine kind of kicks in, that's southern, but the guitar is Japanese. If it's a video, I would think they would film it on a horse going down the Grand Canyon. Being led on a tour down the Grand Canyon. Be a burrow. Fair enough.
Let's see. That's the Civil Wars, if you want to check them out. They're really good. That's good. Yeah, the Civil Wars. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Do we have 8 o'clock albums? He didn't send me the email. He didn't? Who didn't? He had a long day yesterday. Yeah. Garrett. Who? Garrett. Who? Garrett. Who? Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Wow. That is Garrett saying Garrett. Garrett. Right now he has his eyes closed and he's shaking his head. No. We got him to do it. Garrett. It was so clean and perfect too. It was. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Hi, Garrett. Tonight's Hit O'Clock album is Roxy Music Avalon. Oh, nice. My sister. My sister's name. There you go. Woods can make out with somebody. Oh, yeah. I love that record, man. It's a good one. That's what my sister was named after, that song. What? My sister was named after this song, Avalon, by Roxy Music. Really? Yeah, it's a good song. It is a good song.
Her parents might have smoked some marijuana back in the 70s, but it's in the 80s. It's okay. Wow. It would have been the 80s. The 80s, that's what I meant. In the 70s and 80s is what I meant. My sister is 17. There you go. I don't know if that makes a difference. I love you all very much. We love you. I miss you, Garrett. Thank you, Garrett. Bye. That's our program director, Garrett. Garrett! Poor guy. We've only been waiting for him to do that for, I don't know, a year. It's true. All right, so Hillary is not in today. Nope. Who's filling in today? Garrett. Jeremy. Jeremy. Today's Jeremy. Tomorrow's Garrett. Of course it's Jeremy. He does everything. Yeah, he does. There's 50,000 jobs.
Tell me about Forbes, America's most miserable cities. What does that mean? Detroit. Detroit. By most miserable, they mean crime rate, they mean unemployment, housing foreclosures, weather, commute times, even how local sports teams are doing. Number five, I have the top five, Sacramento. Number four, Modesto. Dude, let me just say this to you. If you ever go to Sacramento, do not go in any summer month. Really? So hot? And they have this thing there called the Delta, which is a body of water. So it's humid. A lot like home. A lot like Dallas. It's miserable. Now, again, these are top five of America's most miserable cities. And two of them so far are California. Now, I'm going to give you a hint and see if you can guess. You said Modesto? Modesto and Sacramento, I've said. There's two more from California. Bakersfield. Oh, wow. Bakersfield. No. Fresno. No. I bet it's somewhere in there, though. Chico. Chico? No. Merced. Merced. Merced. Merced. Lodi? Okay. Merced's the number three. Number two is- Yorba Linda. Number two is Miami. What? And the number one is- Miami's legit. Is a California city- Los Angeles. Near LA. Oxnard. No. Ventura. Starts with an S. Compton. Starts with an S. San Bernardino. Stockton. Stockton. Yes. Stockton's not by LA, though.
It's not? No, it's North Carolina. You know where it's by? It's by Sacramento. My bad. I was thinking of Compton, probably. Yeah. L-O-D. Stockton's awful, too. Yeah, Stockton's number one. The program director that told me that I sounded like Dog S came from Stockton. Of course, Lord, laugh. Isolate that. Isolate that laugh. I gotta have it. Isolate that laugh. I gotta have it. I want the whole clip. I gotta have it. I want a montage. I just want that laugh so I can hit that laugh. Just want that. But it was talking over you. It was funny. It was funny because it was at you. It was brilliant. Nothing makes Lauren laugh. Nothing. I'm short. Any humor that has to do with me, it just kills her. Kills her. Only from you. If anyone else did, I'd be like, stop it. Oh, you're fine. But yeah, that program director, he was from... He was from Stockton. Let's see. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. What's up? Good morning, Mike. How are you guys doing? Good. Glad to hear that everything's going well with you, Mike. Thank you, bro. Love hearing you guys on the air. You killed it today. Thank you. I heard that first part of the Civil Wars, and that blew me away. I love that kind of music. Just incredible.
I was wondering if you have the Raising Sand CD that Robert Plant and Alison Krauss put out. I have a couple singles from it, but I didn't buy the whole record. I spend like thousands of dollars on iTunes and my life gets mad. Don't have the Raising Sand record. I'm going to get it. I'll get it. Yeah, you've got to get the whole album. They're phenomenal. If you like the Civil Wars, you'll like the whole thing. All the way in. Thank you. Jay was in the Civil War. Yeah, I really want to get it. He really should get it. He should autograph it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Dejected. Dejected. Dejected. Dejected. All right. Thank you very much, Cape Droller. All right. Love you guys. Love you. I've never heard Jay do a fake laugh. I know. He was like, that's enough. He's getting to the end of his row. Yeah. He's going to snap and it's going to be on me. I know. And he's going to kick my ass. I'm going to stop so it only happens to somebody else. By somebody else, you mean wood? Yeah. I'll kill you wood. I'll kill you wood. I'll kill you like a cat. Yeah, that's right. I'll get you open like a salmon. I'll feed you to my kids.
I feed you. I feed you. The handsome and talented Jeremy is up next. Oh, yeah. Filling in for Hillary. We'll see you tomorrow at six late.