The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/09/11
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
public apologiesbreakups and cheatingmovie parodyorgan donationonline datingchildcare responsibilitycrime and sympathyfamily reunificationcockfightingradiocomedytaylor swift
Mikey, Sienna, Woods, Jay, and Lauren O'Brien moved between confessional comedy and sharp arguments, including whether Taylor Swift's public apology to Taylor Lautner was sweet or humiliating and whether a babysitter should apologize for an accidental injury. Mikey described overlooking Amy Green's cheating, while the crew turned The Matrix into an extended red-pill parody and ambushed Hoyle Henry with his old eHarmony tape. Tom Walter's kidney donation to Kevin Jordan provided the show's clearest sincere moment, while Carlina's disputed settlement demand raised questions about who suffered most after her abduction. The group initially romanticized Gregory P. Hess as a polite, desperate robber, then reversed itself after learning about his record, and Sienna closed another memorable news item with the fatal absurdity of a bladed rooster at a cockfight.
What happened, in order
Taylor's apology song
Mikey admitted getting absorbed in Taylor Swift's apology song to Taylor Lautner, prompting an argument over whether the public gesture was romantic, humiliating, or cheapened by her other breakup songs.
Kidnapping reunion turns bitter
The cast debated Carlina's reported demand for part of the hospital settlement her birth parents received after she was abducted as a baby, weighing her lost childhood against her parents' decades of grief.
Cheating and the Pathfinder
Mikey recounted discovering Amy Green was seeing her ex-boyfriend, ignoring the obvious clue of the man's Pathfinder outside her house, and later confronting the tangled affair at the other man's home.
Picking apart The Matrix
The crew dismantled the Morpheus-and-Neo red-pill scene from The Matrix with jokes about its formal dialogue, Keanu Reeves's delivery, mistaken words, and Morpheus looking like a drug dealer.
Coach gives player a kidney
Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter explained why he donated a kidney to freshman Kevin Jordan after seeing the young player attend class and endure dialysis with remarkable courage.
Hoyle's lost dating tape
Hoyle Henry panicked over a missing private tape until Jay played his awkward four-year-old eHarmony audition, revealing his very specific search for a full-figured Black woman who liked marriage, karaoke, and fishing.
Must a babysitter apologize?
A listener's story about a one-year-old breaking an arm while with his aunt launched a sustained argument in which Mikey said an apology falsely admits blame while Woods and callers said it expresses ordinary care and so
Interview with a Plebeian
An affected visitor mocked Mikey's separate Christian podcast, his on-air theology, and his critics while the crew fired back until the exchange was dubbed Interview with a Plebeian.
The polite robber
Audio of Gregory P. Hess apologetically robbing a Seattle store split the room between sympathy for a desperate father and condemnation of theft, until his prior robberies destroyed the Robin Hood narrative.
Rooster kills cockfight spectator
Sienna reported that a California cockfight spectator died after a rooster's attached blade cut his leg, and the cast treated the bizarre death as a grim reason to avoid the illegal fights.
People mentioned
MikeySiennaWoodsJayLauren O'BrienTaylor SwiftTaylor LautnerCarlinaAmy GreenKeanu ReevesTom WalterKevin JordanHoyle HenryGregory P. Hess
26,992 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Yes. Sienna, do you have any idea what the weather's going to be like today? Do you know? It's supposed to be getting colder this week. You're welcome. I was so stoked about that weather we were having. Nice. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. 40 years old. Got to do something about this weight. Just not willing to. Just not willing to. I will. I know I will. Are you? Yeah. Yeah. I know me. No time like the present. Can't do it on orders. It's like sobriety. You've got to want it. You've got to be ready. You have to be like, right now, I'm going to give up all of this crap that I'm eating. I'm done. You should put a date in your calendar. For me, the way that it works is I mentally come to a place where I say enough is enough. I'm not there yet. I got there this last weekend. You did? Gianna's fully there. I started Monday morning.
Full mode. I hate it. I hate it too. But I'm doing it because you just wait. Oh, we're waiting. Sienna winced on that one. Yeah. I'll wait for you. I was always pregnant on the show. So I'm like, I want to get back. I don't need to be the pregnant or the mom all the time. This is what it doesn't matter. You know, it doesn't matter if you say this to a woman. She won't believe you. You'll look hot. No! She's like, whatever. No, I saw that video of me going to McDonald's and I wanted to die. I didn't, or Starbucks. Might as well have been McDonald's. It's Freudian slip. I was eating a chicken nugget. Actually, I was having a lot to eat. She's like, I saw the video of me going to Lard Burger. I went to Starbucks, you know.
As a show bit, and they made me say stuff in Starbucks, and there was a video, and I was mortified. Well, the camera adds 10 pounds. And I had a wig on. Oh, yeah. That was a bull cut. That didn't help. Sienna took a picture of me. I spilled coffee on my crotch a few days ago, and Sienna took a picture of me, and she texted me the picture. And I looked at the picture. And I thought. I still have it on my phone. Oh, man. Just post on the fan page. No. Post on the fan page. No. No. Good incentive. No. It's great incentive. No. You can say no. People will be mean. People will be mean. Well, that was just kind of. That was mean. Yeah. For me? Yeah. That wasn't mean. Okay. I didn't see it. So I don't know. Oh, yeah. You don't want to say. I hadn't seen it. I am in agreement with you. I'll delete it. I'm deleting it. I thought you were standing up and it was just like a crotch show. I just deleted it because I don't want you to have pictures I don't like. I don't want to have pictures you don't like. I didn't know. I'm sorry. It's okay. I promise. I looked at the picture. Even that wasn't enough. It should have been enough. I sent it to your wife, too. You did? Oh, boy. Oh, wow. It was funny. Maybe we don't have sex.
Never again. Mike, the thought never crossed my mind that you looked bad in that picture. I was just like, oh my gosh, Mike spilled on his crotch. This is hilarious. Who would love this? His wife. My head hurts. She's dying. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. You know, the thing is, is that. Even as fat as this sounds, if I can just weigh 200 pounds, I look fine. I look fine. It doesn't look like there's a problem. I'm 25 to go to get there. 25 pounds. It's out of my reach now. Me too, Woods. I'm just a foot shorter than you. It's funny because he's fat. I have 25 pounds. I'm like, that's unattainable. That's not even a try. Yes, it is. 25 pounds is... Unattainable. Not even going to try. This is me eating a bacon and egg quesadilla. It looked so good when you were eating it yesterday. I asked Mike yesterday for his help on a commercial, and he was right in the middle of his bacon, egg quesadilla, and he was like, really, dude? I'm trying to eat. I was like, all right, man. It's fine. Eat up. Yeah, he's like.
I don't want your help now. Never mind. I don't want your help. Okay. No, no, no. You can't hold that against Mike. We're on the air. And then we go to commercials. We have two seconds to record or to eat. And he had just done a commercial. Then you went. So he didn't get any time to eat. And he was hungry and got his food. His feasting. No, Mike, it was your feasting. You never feast. You eat slowly. Oh, you eat so slow. And you don't eat very much. I meant you were in the process of feasting like you were eating. That's what I call eating. Yeah. Don't you worry. You weren't like shoveling it and making love to your food like you usually do. He makes love to his food, but it's not like in a fat person way. It's in like, I care about every bite way. Yes. He doesn't like this. He makes love to his food. But it's not in a fat person way. Well, that's how he made it sound. Maybe I just put that on a t-shirt. Shut up. I've tried to defend you because we all, all of us eat way faster than you.
I'm sorry. That laugh pierces me like a sword. I make love to my food, but not in a fat person's way. Or I'm with. He makes love to his food. I'm with. We get back for Rebecca. I'm with. Oh, gosh. Oh, no. That voice would be a good show today. Let's all just go to diet, please. Woods is our sports guy. He's 35. And he always calls himself fat, but he's still a very handsome guy. Chubby. Lauren O'Brien. Thick. Thick. Thank you. Lauren O'Brien is in great shape and is pretty and can't stand any of it. It was perfect. I'm not. You're going to sit there with your white teeth. No. And I got that stuff you told me. I got it. I got the Arm & Hammer stuff. Do-do paste. Yeah. Next, I'm going to be asking, what kind of foundation do you get? Does it work? You know what? It's really a trip. I don't know if you noticed this, L.O.B. When you brush your teeth with that Arm & Hammer whitening toothpaste, it's hot. It like is hot in my mouth. Oh, I didn't notice. It hurts. It's like warm. I'm like, oh, it must be doing something. Yeah. That scares me a little bit. Look how white her teeth are. Yeah, but she's not feeling warm. Yeah, maybe not. Maybe I'm used to it. But I don't like the taste of it. I brush my tongue and I'm like.
Yeah. Thank you, Sienna. I know. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. And she's got the word Sienna written on the top of her headphones. Jay is our producer, and he's 47 years old. He is a very typical dad, I think. In fact, I was reading his recap this morning. I said, man, this is something my dad would do. I'll tell you about it later. About the same age, too. Oh, boy. Watch out. And our phone screener is Chris. We're going to be picking apart the movie The Matrix at 730. The word of the day is celery. How's a fat guy going to work that into it? Did you just say, you know what I don't eat? So if I say salary between now and ten, be caller nine, you'll win a four-pack of SeaWorld fun cards and a $50 card to proflowers.com. Our Valentine's meet and greets Friday. Don't forget that. Please be there, five to seven. It's going to be awesome. Here's what's happening. Here's what we're going to be talking about. Oh, and your phone calls, 5701-949. So here's what we'll be talking about. Zuckerberg, I didn't even know it, is being stocked. Apple's got something new coming out.
Lindsay Lohan may be in the worst trouble she's been in yet, and she's been in bad trouble. And the First Lady has confirmed something about Obama. So let's start with Zuckerberg. This is my life, so I know it's not that dramatic. Zuckerberg apparently has a stalker. Yeah, yesterday. A 31-year-old California man was ordered by a judge to stay away from Zuckerberg, stop contacting him. He was accused of stalking him and his girlfriend and his sister. There were numerous times in December where this guy sent letters, emails, Facebook messages, including more than 20 times in one day. He also left a note on Zuckerberg's car. You know, he was just definitely crossing the line. So this guy, his name is... Something. Tom from MySpace. Tom, yeah. Tom. Pradeep Manaconda. Pradeep? Pradeep. Excellent. Pradeep. Pradeep Manaconda. Let me see it. It's Pradeep Manaconda. Okay, fine. But I want to try. It's right there. It's like, I don't know. It's like a ride. Pradeep Manaconda. Pradeep Manaconda. Si. What kind of name?
You tell me. Do you know? Indian. Is it Indian? Pradeep? Pradeep, definitely. I'd say Irish. Yeah, he's an Irishman. Pradeep Manaconda. This sounds scary. I know. Sounds like a couple of anacondas. Hey, don't you feel bad, Zuck, that, you know, Tom from MySpace, what kind of life is he living now? Nobody even cares. I mean, clearly he's become that insignificant that he has to stalk me. Well, it is. Are you sure that it's him, though? I think he goes by the screen name Pradeep Minakonda. On Facebook. On Facebook. He goes by the screen name Garrett. Well, Zuckerberg. Just Zuck. Zuck. Zuck man. The Zuck man. The Zuck. Zuck it. For brevity. Zuck it. When you get upset at people, that's what you're saying. Zuck it. Yeah. I got it. I am trademarking that right now. Oh, okay. You'd be on a t-shirt, but in the Facebook font. Zuck it. It's a little bit sophomoric for my taste. Yeah, me too. Not mine. You know. Me too. I'm sure the kids will buy it. It's kind of inappropriate. The kids, that's who my Facebook is for, right? Just the kids.
The Facebook is for just about everybody. It will replace phone communication. It will replace probably face-to-face communication. I know that your dream is that the Super Bowl is played via Facebook so that they just status the plays and you don't actually have to have a real game. It's a virtual game. Exactly. It's becoming more of a reality the more powerful I become. It's Mark Zuckerberg. It's laugh. Sometimes he just laughs. I think of something really smart that I said yesterday or maybe sometime past and I just can't help. And the thing that makes you laugh about it is that it's so much smarter than anything anybody else would think of. For a second I think I should share this with this guy across from me and then I think he won't get it. He won't get it. He's not that smart. No. It's great. It's Mark Zuckerberg. Apple, I just saw on the television this morning that one of the, there's two stocks you should be looking at right now, Disney and Apple. And also like Smucker's Jelly, they said. Smucker's. But maybe this is an indication why. Well, Apple is working on a new version of the iPad. Perfect. And it's going to have a, you're going to want it.
Of course. You already do. I have the first one released which doesn't do stuff that... Other ones already do. Well, not only will this new iPad be thinner and lighter than the first model, but it's going to have at least one camera on the front of the device for video conferencing and stuff like that. Maybe another camera for taking still shots. Resolution of the display is going to be similar, but there's also going to be a lot more memory and more powerful graphics processor on the new iPad. It needs to be able to play video. Doesn't right now. Here's what I mean. To be clear, it doesn't play Flash video, meaning that when you go to a website that has animation and stuff, it won't do it. Wow. And the reason is because of a fight that they're having with Adobe, who makes Flash. They have a fight. They don't like each other.
They're like the sharks and the jets. And so they don't like each other. And so you can't watch that stuff. It's like your phone. Yeah. Well, the new iPad is going to be initially available only through Verizon and AT&T. It's going to be around the same price range. Right now they're between like $500 to $830 for the different iPads. And it's going to be available in the next couple of months. Wow. I'll want it. Of course. Weird. I don't want that for some reason. I don't want the iPad. I don't either. Don't need it. I want a lighter, better Mac, but I don't want the iPad. I have no desire. I enjoy it. I don't like a tablet. All right. I'm not going to use a tablet. You don't have to. Yeah, nobody's going to make you. She's not going to do it. I like mine for the toilet. I'll take this in the toilet. It's a little bulky. I think it's too bulky for my pleasure. You put it on the trash can, you're good to go. Upside down. A lot of work. Yeah, it is a lot of work. So you just hold it? Yeah. It's light. I like to put it down so I can type and stuff.
What is wrong? I'm doing my business. I know so much. Get in and out of there. No. Oh, take my time. Fortress of solitude. Lindsay Lohan, maybe in the worst trouble yet. Yes, well, today she's being charged with felony grand theft. Because of the necklace? Because of the necklace, yeah. Felony. So first she was in trouble, then she was not in trouble. Now she's in trouble again. Now she's in trouble again. Yeah, well, here's the thing. With celebrities, a lot of times they're given jewelry, clothes, stuff like that. to borrow and wear so that the company whose clothes or jewelry it is gets known and, you know, they find out who makes that jewelry, whatever. Lindsay Lohan, that's what she's saying happened to her for this $2,500 necklace. Now, I guess she's saying that she had two friends with her. when they gave her the necklace. But this jewelry store says, we didn't give her the necklace. She stole it. And there's pictures of her wearing it. So it's just a lot of he said, she said right now. She's going to get out of it. I think she will. Because her friends will say, no, we heard this, we heard this. I got an idea. What? Just give them $2,500. I mean, I don't make Lindsay Lohan money. I can come up with $2,500 today if I had to. I'm sure she offered that. They're probably, they've got some reason that they really want to push this. Or they could ask for the necklace back, too.
I think they want their name out there. Could be. Yep, and it's out there. Camel Fee & Co. Oh. It's a store in Venice, and Lindsay's going to be, she's due in court this afternoon, and she has to be there. What if she misses her court date like she always does? I don't even want to think about it. Just please go. She's paying rent there. Yeah. She's had a couple lost years. I can relate. First Lady has said that, confirmed. That President Obama has quit smoking. Yes. She was asked about it yesterday and she said, yes, he has totally quit. It's almost been a year since he smoked a cigarette. Has it? Wow. Mr. President, are you saying that it hasn't been a year? I'm not saying that. I'm saying my wife has said that I don't smoke anymore. So... Just not in front of her or... So zuck it. You never sneak cigs in the Oval Office? I do. You do? So you haven't quit. I've quit, yes. I consider smoking doing it regularly. And define regularly. At least two or three packs a day. Oh, wow. That's a lot. As a smoker. That's excessive. You have a stressful job. I have a very stressful job. The Oval Office stinks like an ashtray. Oh, wow. Well, when you can't smoke, what do you do? I chew my nails. Really? Yeah. Ever chew like Redman or anything?
Every once in a while, I will take a dip of snuff. A dip of snuff. Yes. But it's hard to do a press conference with a spitter. Some people would think it would be hard to do a radio show with a spitter, but it's really not. Good point. Maybe I give it a shot. You can also try these things called snooze. You just put them in and you actually swallow it. It's not gross. You swallow it. Just turning listeners on to new habits or new tobacco products. They're pretty good. Right in the middle of a bit, you're just going to go ahead and throw out some new bad habits. I was telling you, you can try it. I didn't tell you to try heroin or speedballs or anything. It's a habit-forming tobacco product. Yeah, yeah. Of which you already partake in. Yeah, any other vices? New massage partner. Just opened up an alcohol, Mike. Thought you'd want to know about it. That's Asian tan. It's really. It's called Asian tan. And, you know, since we're talking about it. Your name's not Mike, by the way. It's President Obama. President Obama. Mr. President. Mr. President. Easy words. That's right. Oh, my gosh. I will now give a press conference.
explain to the American people about my smoking habit. I just have to put in an earpiece here, and that is to help me to hear. That's all it's to do. Ladies and gentlemen, I have come under great fire for smoking cigarettes, and that is why I decided to quit. Cut back. What I've actually done in an attempt to quit smoking is I have cut back. You don't inhale. And I do not, when I do cut back and I do smoke, I do not inhale. I just blow it and puff it out. I just blow it and puff it out. I believe that's a good idea. She said. I believe that's what she said. You never had relations with me? Now, one of the things that I think people need to understand about smoking is that I never had relations with that woman. Define the.
If you define the, I think you will realize that one of the exercises and definitions of quitting smoking is that at some point you have to quit. What a load of crap. What a load of crap. I will now. Be smoking backwoods cigars. Because if I will now be smoking backwoods cigars. Of course, which you do not inhale. Of course, which you do not inhale. I'm not messing with him. And I think that that's a great reason to stop smoking. You zip your lip. Young people, you zip your lip. You heard me, pot pie. Pot pie. Why am I pot pie? Because you cook pot pies five days a week. You eat them seven days a week. Should quit smoking is because. They'll get fat. They'll get fat. Actually, no, they lose weight. But it will stunt their breath. You have a pot pie. You will lose weight. If you smoke cigarettes, it'll stunt your growth. You'll be shorter than Mikey. Don't say that. Don't say that. F sharp is my favorite note. F sharp is my favorite note. I think you should end it. And I think you should end it. We'll see you later. Good night. There's the president of the United States. Train wreck.
Yeah, speaking of train wreck, his approval rating on the deficit has sunk to a new low. Weird. Yeah. Because of the deficit? 27% of Americans approve of Obama on the deficit. You ever just saw one-term president? Down from 32% in November, and that means 68% disapprove. Change. George Bush got elected. Here's what Barack's going to have trouble sleeping with. What? Barack. George Bush got elected twice. That's going to be the problem. He's going to be like. I couldn't even beat Bush. It wasn't one term I got. He got two. I got one. The guy's a complete dodo bird. He got two. He got two. I got to check out after one. I barely have my stuff moving. Exactly. I got to find a new place. I've only been here four years. Son of a... Unbelievable. You got beat by George Bush. He didn't get beat by him. George Bush left him with the country the way that it was. That's true, but...
That's unbelievable. They all get left with the country the way, you know, they all do. Bush got it. Hey, Bush had some turds while he was in office. In the second term. Katrina, 9-11. I mean, that's some big stuff. Yeah. That's some big, big stuff. He'd been in office five minutes. He threw airplanes into a company. Yeah, that's true. That's true. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. There are... Winter storm warnings in effect for eight different states. Here, it hasn't been bad, but throughout the rest of the country, it's a turd. Oh, yeah. The Midwest had it real bad last week, and now they're going to get it pretty bad again. There's eight different states from New Mexico to Mississippi. Oklahoma's supposed to have it really bad, and it's supposed to be starting today. So just why, you know, while they think things are getting better, they're not, at least for some of these states. A lot of snow. Former American Idol guy, Sanjaya. Not M1 Sanjaya. Although he does a perfect, dead-on impression of the real Sanjaya. Maybe he calls in and shows us right now. I never knew why his name was M1 Sanjaya. Me neither. It's amazing. It sounds more like Sanjaya than Sanjaya. Maybe he calls in.
Yeah, right now. Before I met Sanjaya, I thought he was a skinny little guy because he does his little voice. And then you meet him, he's like a big tough guy. Tatted up. Okay. So what's the deal? Well, the Sanjaya from American Idol is joining an off-Broadway musical, Freckle Face Strawberry. Sienna. It's like a popular kid's book by Julianne Moore. And now he's going to be in it. He's starring. Starting February 23rd. He's starring in Freckle Face Strawberry. Absolutely. Off-Broadway is like what? Community theater? No. No? YMCA. No? No. It's not. It could be something that's just not technically a Broadway, you know. It's tough to get your show on Broadway. Yeah, but big stars are also on off-Broadway stuff. They are. I don't know anything about plays. Yeah. Like girls, so. Okay. You just shoot me for knowing something. Yeah. Monster. Yeah, I just. I'm off-Broadway. It sounds very plebeian to me. I have to pretend that I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not homosexual. You're cultured. You're cultured. Hey, I've seen Broadway shows. I enjoyed those. But off-Broadway to me sounds very plebeian. No. Off-Broadway you would think is not as good. Right. And probably some of it isn't. But some of it's not bad. Really? Yeah, I mean, and there's big stars that will do off-Broadway stuff. And they'll do, like...
Things that are usually a Broadway show like Grease. Yeah. It'll be considered off-Broadway because it doesn't have all these like union things and everything. Maybe I'll do one in my garage. Call it off-Broadway. There you go. How about that? That's good. Cool. You know Ed Helms, right? Oh, yeah. I love him. Hangover. And The Office. Andy from The Office. Brilliant. He actually does a pretty incredible impression of somebody that I do an impression of. You be the judge. We'll do it next. Love it. Have you heard it was? No. She wrote it for the guy that plays one of the vampires. Don't pretend you don't know. She wrote it for the werewolf in... Don't pretend you don't know. Is he or is he not the werewolf in Twilight? But you know his name. Taylor Lautner. Yeah. She ever write songs about guys? I think this is the first one. This is actually, I'd say the first one where she puts the fault on her. Why did you stop it? Because I want you to hear what she's saying. Oh.
I want you to hear what she's saying. Okay. I heard it and I got wrapped up in it. I was on Encinitas Boulevard. My wife was making me listen to it. Were you crying? She wasn't making me. I was interested. It began by her saying, I want you to listen to the words. And I was annoyed because I don't like people introducing me to music. Nobody really does. Do you hate that bitch? So do you. No, I don't. I like it. People like to discover things on their own. It's the way we are with music. Most people are. Taylor Swift dated Taylor Lautner this time last year. They were in that movie Valentine's together. And they dated for just a short while. And no one really knew why they broke up. But now this song is one of her most recent. The song is to let you know why? It's kind of to let you know what happened. I felt like such a creep. I'm a 40-year-old man. And this is a 20-year-old girl. It's a 20-year-old girl singing, sounding like she's 13 when she sings. Don't fight it. Stop saying that. Don't fight it. Thinking he's convincing a girl to come with that. Embracing. I started listening to it, I'm annoyed, and then I go, oh, what happens next? Yeah. I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me, how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. All the way in. You've been good.
What a B. Yeah. Made me sad. I'm so upset right now. That's why they were filming the movie. That was when. She's admitting she was a B. Yeah. Now, I actually thought this to myself. I thought, if you're Taylor Lautner, do you call her and respond to the fact that, like, do you write her an email? Do you go, I heard the song. It's really nice. Thank you. Do you call her and leave her a voicemail and go, hey, I heard the song and, you know, I heard it's about me. I'm not even sure if it is, but if it is, that was a really sweet thought. No. He already makes, she makes him sound like a little.
P word in the beginning. You gave me flowers. I left them there to burn. Thanks for putting me on blast. Did you ever put people on blast? She's not, though. She's apologizing. She's like, I'm the tough girl. He's like, great. While you were snoozing, I've had 20 tens since you've been gone. Wait a minute. Isn't she saying... I screwed up. She does say, I know why you're mad. Because the last time I saw you, I could tell that I was... still burning in your mind. He gave me roses and I left him there to die. And this is me swallowing my pride and saying I was a total D. The guy's the one that's supposed to swallow his pride and do all that. How about just a phone call? Maybe don't write a song about it, but just say, hey, really sorry I messed up. Jay's big on the phone call. Jay wants every single thing to be a phone call. You're not allowed to do any kind. of communication whatsoever unless it's a phone call. Pick up the phone. And that's a concession to him because he was alive in 1874 when you were supposed to come over with biscuits. You were supposed to bake biscuits. I was all about the telegraph at that point. You know what, man? Telegraph me. Don't do this thing where you send a horse and buggy. I want a telegraph. But it's like, okay, the whole world kind of does that.
stares over at him to see what his move is. It's like, ooh, you had it bad for her. And he's sitting there like, everyone's looking at me, everyone's looking at me, everyone's looking at me. I think she sounds real sweet. I wish I was him. Oh my gosh. You guys. Oh my gosh. You want the world to know that she just dumped you and just didn't even care until now? I wish it was me. How are you going to look, first of all, then getting back in the tabloids, holding hands with her, just looking like a little puppy dog? It's one thing. We've all been there. Have we? Haven't we? It's one thing for her to talk about how she got dumped. Oh, no. You've been there as a chick. Yeah, I'm a chick. Dudes have been there, too. Hey, listen. I've had my heart broken before, and somebody's come calling again, and you're like, yeah, I'm all the way in. Yeah, I'd like you to.
just knock me around. Absolutely. But how would you feel if that girl who knocked you around got on the microphone in front of the whole world and said, oh my gosh, he's a, you know, I was just not into that. It'd be one thing if she wrote a song and she was like, Just want to tell you you're a douchebag and I left you that night because you're such a bad guy in bed. That'd be a whole separate issue. Yeah. I mean, she's saying she's sorry. She's saying she's sorry, but who cares? He could be like, listen, I wasn't that hung up on you. We dated for a month. Yeah. Get over yourself. I'm all right. Maybe he was, though. Maybe he was, like, really bummed. Taylor and Taylor. He's, like, 16. I got every one of the actresses in that movie those flowers. Chill out. Can you imagine? He's like, those weren't for you anyway. I don't know why you took them. No, he goes.
Did you get flowers? Did my assistant send flowers? Those are for Jennifer Garner. Yeah, yeah. My assistant sent flowers to the cast. Jessica Alba got them. Actually, I think someone sent them to him and the name said Taylor on them. Yeah. He left them there to die. Those were actually my flowers. That I left there to die and you picked up my scraps. I wasn't even trying to date you. I don't know why you think this. We have the same name. It was Flash. Genius. Hey, my name's Taylor, too. Did you ever think those were for me? That did you ever bother to think? While you were creeping in my dressing room. Guys, get flowers still. Hey, she's feeling like she made a mistake. Which I'm all the way in on. Which I'm all the way in on. I love. to hear a girl grovel for me. Ditto! Is this or is this not on the same album as the John Mayer song? Alright, so what? Doesn't that cheapen it a little bit? Why don't you just dare a couple more guys? Her V's like a rotating door. A revolving door, gotta know. The only thing worse than saying something so vulgar...
is stammering something so wrong. I couldn't get it wrong. Herd V is like a revolving door. Rotating, revolving door. It's like an escalator. It's like an elevator. Jay, you do it to yourself? I did do it to myself. Oh, Jay. You know what Herd Bernard's journey is like? Oh my gosh. Sometimes it's just hard to talk. Sometimes I just stare at him like, oh my gosh. He started that statement and all of us froze and our eyes just closed. We all have the same face. Yeah, we all were like. You can't put a price on that gold. You just can't. Jay, whatever they're paying you, it ain't enough, fella. You ever pan for gold and a boulder ends up in there? You're like, oh my god! Oh my god! This is a boulder! Oh my god! Oh my gosh. LLB has a point, you know. Like, you're hearing this girl grovel for you.
And like totally, totally put her guard down and have to swallow her pride. And you're like, you're crying. Like you're listening to it, you're crying. You're like, wow, I finally get an explanation for that time. And you're right, it did hurt. And then the next song is Dear John. Didn't you think 19 was a little too young to take advantage of me? And you're driving in your car, you're like, you boned John Mayer? And Taylor Lautner. The next track. No, you're Taylor Lautner. You're listening to it. Oh, you're Taylor Lautner. You're listening to it. You're like, I didn't know about John Mayer. Who the hell's John? Are you trying to get me back or not? I thought you wanted me. Track six says... Track six. Track seven is like... Now you're telling me about who else? I don't know. What's track nine? Who's Mike? I slayed everybody. Dear Phil. She writes good music, but man, she's a beauty. Yeah. It's sweet and everything, but. All the way in on that song. I just feel like. All the way. Unfortunately, so am I. She's throwing it all out there. Be like, which one of you guys will come crawling back? Come on. Ed Helms from The Office and also from the movie The Hangover does a pretty good impression of a couple of people. And one of them is a voice that I do.
Okay, I heard a rumor that you can do an impression of Al Gore and who else? Tom Brokaw. So can you do a little Tom Brokaw? Well, Tony Blair and I are off to London. Wow. I'm going water skiing with a jahuyahama. And Al, because Al's hard. But I'm from Georgia. He's from Tennessee. But I haven't done Al in a while. Let's see. If I were elected president, I would make absolutely certain that global warming came to an end. That's pretty good. That's good. That is. He is a funny dude. Sure is. I'm very excited for The Hangover, too. Me, too. Mike? You're going to go see it, Mike? I haven't seen The Hangover. You haven't seen The Hangover? You haven't seen The Hangover, too. Wow. You would like it. I would like it. It's filthy dirty. It's not filthy dirty. Watch the rated version, then. I think you're a little desensitized, though. No? No. Like 12-year-olds just watch it. My parents watched it. My parents liked it. Yeah. My folks loved it. Well, I loved it.
You'd love it. As long as you're willing to concede, they're like, whoa. Well, I don't know that I'm willing to concede. There's a couple of things, but it's no dirtier than your dogfighting videos that you watch. He won't like it. Alejandro Pena or whatever his name is. The video, the thing, your favorite movie. It's no dirtier than that. Mikey's staring at Woods. Yeah. What? He knows exactly what I'm talking about. Here's what I appreciate. I appreciate the new listeners of The Mikey Show. That are like, that dude watches dog fighting. Yeah. The movie with the dog fighting in it. Did you guys know Mikey watches dog fighting videos? Not the instructional videos that you have. The one with it in the movie. Just keep it while you're ahead. Amores Peros. Amores Peros. Amores Peros. I'm sorry. Amores Peros. I like a movie called Amores Peros. Correct. One of the central characters in the film is involved in dogfighting. Yes. But, yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Sometimes I don't know what to say with you. Fair enough. You get me? And I don't even know where to go. What can you do? I don't know. You're a bull in a china shop. 100%. But that's part of your appeal. That's part of what I love about you. I love it. I hate it. It's a very love-hate. It is. More love, but aren't you nuts?
Here's L.O.B.'s, listen to this, L.O.B.'s recap. She says, yesterday I got a call from a number I didn't know. Now, the reason that this is interesting to me is because we here in the studio, and even you, the listening audience, you know one Lauren O'Brien. And the Lauren O'Brien that you know, she's pretty sedate. She's pretty... Even-keeled. Yeah. You know? Yeah. She doesn't get too excited. She didn't get too down. She's got to – I've even told her. I said one of the things I want her to do is project that voice. Pop it up. Pop it up. Listen to this. Yesterday I got a call from a number I didn't know. Usually I don't even pick these up. So I picked up and the person said, who's this? And I said, excuse me? You called me. Who's this? Woods is looking at LOB right now like –
Are you freaking kidding me? Yeah. Part of it is she doesn't pick up the phone when we call her. Well, I was curious. I was curious. Then they said, I think I have the wrong number. And she says, now she didn't say this to him. She's saying this to us. Hey, don't call me all aggressive, anonymous phone guy. Yeah. Who is this? I hate that too. I do too. I just don't picture L.O.B. Excuse me. You called me. Who's this? Yeah. Who's this? All quick. I'm like, excuse me. You called me. Who is this? Oh, wow. I want to see that. I think she had the proper reaction. I think so, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here's the deal. I just don't, I don't, I never see, I can't see L.O.B., you know? You picture her going, this is Lauren? Yeah. I picture her going, who's this? Just back and forth. Maybe he just thought that you were answering his friend's phone. Like, hey, who's this? I guess so, but still. It was all aggressive. I always go, well, who's this? You know, politely back. And then they go, well, is this this number? I go, yeah. And they're like, well, this is not the number I was given. I'm like, well, then why are you calling me? How many times do you get those calls? Oh, all the time. I don't know if my phone was owned by some crazy person from before.
You're like Uncle Victor. Yeah. Uncle Victor has a new Valentine's thing. Weird. And he wants you to get. Hey, it's Uncle Victor for Please Rub My Back. It's Valentine's Day. I injured my back years ago on the ganagio job. And it hurts. It's so nice when you gently rub my back for Valentine's Day. Wow. Sometimes when my back hurts, I got to take pills because it hurts so bad. So please do me a back rub for Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. Short and sweet, Uncle Victor. No prescription, Uncle Victor. It's not good. Just rub his back. Come on. It's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day.
Had to take care of the missus yesterday. How'd that go? Good man. One good. She got to stay in bed. That's good. Hey, listen. It's good work if you can get it. Staying in bed? Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the best. Oh, I get so antsy. I can live in that bed. Just bring me food. If I wasn't so embarrassed, I'd use a bedpan. Write that down. Write that down. Wow. A bedpan. Okay, maybe not a bedpan. Just a catheter. Not a catheter. I'd use a little Johnny. Do you know what a little Johnny is? Is that what Bad Blake had in his truck that he went into? No, that was a homemade little Johnny. A homemade milk carton. A little Johnny is a real product. I know. It's a little red thing that guys can urinate in if they're on the road and they have a long commute and they can't make it to a John.
Or like a truck driver might use it. A truck driver. A girl cannot use it because girls have different needs. You could. You could, but you'd be like Charlize Theron in Monster. I wouldn't want to try. I watched that about two weeks ago. Threw up in my head. Oh my gosh. I almost left that movie. I almost, this was me. I gotta see how it ends. I know, I had to see. It's so uncomfortable. One of the most repugnant movies you've ever seen. And she's one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, but she made herself, that's why I'm like, give her mad props. She made herself ugly. She gained 40 pounds when she's styling her hair in the bathroom. Oh, how about when she's at the skating rink with Christina Ricci? So awkward. Mikey's imitating her. And just looking over. Fling your hair. Mikey does a great monster. The hair flip. It's the creepiest scene. Yeah. How do they make someone's silky hair so damaged? I know. What did they do? She is repugnant in that movie. But then you saw her at the red carpet before the event and you're like, what? Ew!
Mike's scrubbing his armpits. With wet paper towel. Christina Ricci's no prize in that movie either, dude. Holy cow. It's perfect, though. We should do that as a topic one day. What are movies that you can only watch one time? One time. I had that written down for today's meeting. Schindler's List is not a movie you just go to, you know? Like, there's no use owning certain movies. Like, I'm not going to own Monster. I'm not going to have friends over and be like, hey, you guys want to watch Monster? I would say The Passion of the Christ. You know what? I watched The Passion. We did a thing where we, every Easter, we would watch Passion to kind of, like, remind ourselves, we don't do it anymore. Can't do it. It would ruin your day. I saw it one time, and I don't think I could ever see it again. I made it through half.
Oh, you didn't see it? I couldn't finish it. Why? Really? Yeah, I was disturbed. Because of the blood in it? Yeah, I don't like that stuff. Mel Gibson makes some bloody movies. We watched half and I go, do you mind if we turn this off? We watched it on Christmas Day. Christmas is a different mood. Christmas. The Easter thing, we did it, you know, because we were like, eh, you know, Easter. We did it two years in a row. Right. I remember, you know, my mom hadn't seen it. And my mom will cry at Hallmark commercials. Right. If a good Hallmark commercial comes on, she'll start crying. Me three. Me two. Me four. The movie almost put her down. Yeah. You know. Over the edge. I remember her leaving our house that night. I was like, okay, see you guys later. Hugging her. She's like, oh, oh, oh. I'm like, maybe that wasn't the best idea. Tough dude. She's like, I thought I was coming over for brunch. Yeah. I thought we were doing an Easter egg. I thought we were just going to have ham. I just wanted a chocolate bunny. I made some devil eggs. Is this your idea of a joke? Love it. What are other movies you can only watch one time? There's a movie.
about Huskies in the, what was it called? Eight Below. Never again. It was emotional terror. I want you guys to watch this movie because Woods talks about it so much. He says it's the saddest movie ever. It has Paul Walker in it. Yeah, seriously. That's like Hilary Duff. Paul Walker makes Keanu Reeves look like Marlon Brando, okay? Oh my God. But this movie, dude. I was sobbing uncontrolled. It's a kids movie. It's a Disney movie. I think it's PG. Sobbing. I want. I will pay. I will pay for one session with a psychologist. For me? Yes. Why? Because I want her to fight or him to find out what the thing is there. Because when it comes to dogs. Forget it. There's something psychological with you and the dogs, and I want so badly to know what it is. Because they just want your love and attention. That's all they want. I know, but everyone knows that. Right. But you're affected much. Put it this way. I think it's going to change. I'm sorry to say. I know. Maybe it will. It changed for me a thousand percent. I love dogs. When he had the kid. It's already starting. It's already starting. Yeah, when you get that baby, it's so different. It's already starting. You know, the dogs are just like, hey, great.
Yeah, thanks. Real nice. It's so sad in my house right now. They know what's going on. It's very sad. I feel so bad. They'll still get love and then Connor will live on them too. Yeah, they're peeing all over his stuff. They are. Are they actually? Well, not his stuff, but they are like, they know something's up. Yeah, it's very sad. It's okay. It's going to be okay. They have each other too. Five of them. Okay, let's do this. Let's. Let's play Lyrical Chairs. 570-1949. If you want to play Lyrical Chairs, it's a fun game. And is it a pick a horse? Yeah. Yeah, so you pick a horse. You're going to pick me, Sienna. No, I'm the Sienna host. She's the judge today. She's going to be giving us the category. Okay, then it'll be me and Woods and Jay and L.O.B. Correct. So you're going to pick me, Woods, Jay, and L.O.B.
570-1949. What's the prize, Jay? Today's prize is we're going to give them a pair of tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross February 19th at Qualcomm Stadium. Wow. And then after we're done playing lyrical chairs, I got something really unusual for you. A piece of audio. Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas. Yeah. Talked about their Super Bowl performance. Is it possible that he doesn't know how... how bad it went. No, I mean, like seriously, like because they present him with it and I get the feeling he doesn't know. It's, you gotta hear it. You gotta hear it. Nothing wrong. I'm not mad at it. That's, that ain't the Bee Gees. Did you, did, did you buy this? Yeah. Yeah. Bee Gees coup d'etat me the other day too. What happened? I bought the Bee Gees and it was the wrong version or something. It was terrible. It was like their cousins, I think. Yeah, that sounded like Frankie Valli. It was. Let's see. That's what I want. That's what we want. I love that song. Do you know how much they want for that? $1.29. Yes. You ever spend thousands of dollars on iTunes? I do. It's a premium song. It is? It should be $0.69, that song. I can't believe they charge $1.29 for an old song. I think it's up to the label. Gosh, you know why, though?
Because they know people freaking love it. Yeah, and they know you want it. They know you want it, and you have to have it. You're like, fine, I'll take it. Oh, yeah, I'll take that. Heard this in the UPS store yesterday. Picking up packages? Mailing packages. I mailed a package over the weekend. It's $85. Oh, my God. Mine was $20, and I sent it to Mossra. I sent it to South Carolina. It was a little kid's bike. Little bike scooter thing for a one-year-old. It was awesome. I knew it was 80 pounds. A kid was more than a present. Asian idiot. How'd they sit so high? Rubber bands on the testicles. Works every time. You know, violins are missing in a lot of today's videos. You're right. All right, so we'll be hearing about that black-eyed peas. Guy didn't even know that they were bad.
Sienna, what's going on in news? So do you guys remember the story from a couple weeks ago? Huge story. 23-year-old girl discovered that the woman who raised her is not her real mom. In fact, when she was a baby, this woman stole her from a hospital when her parents brought her in when she was sick. Well, there's an update to that story. Now she has obviously met her real birth parents. And the mother, her birth mother, has now come out and said that the daughter, Carlina, is just after their money. Because they were given a six-figure settlement from the hospital for having the child abducted. And Carlina has just said she wants money. She says, look, we don't have money. The money's all gone. We had other kids. We've spent it. And I guess she isn't talking to them now. This is according to the birth mother. So it's turning into this awful story. So the kid says. You sued the hospital for what happened, and I want the dough? Not I don't want the dough, but I want some of the dough. Some of the dough? I want a taste. Now, and we don't know that she said that, but the mother is saying, it's mind-blowing, it really hurts me that it's all about the money. Quote, about her birth daughter.
Imagine your kid is stolen from you and then you meet the kid 20 years later and they're like, great, can I have some money? No. You're like, how about a kiss? How about a hug? Well, so that's, I mean, that story is coming out from the birth mother and I can't see her lying about it. I bet the daughter was like, wait, you got paid for that? I'm the one that got robbed of my, like. my real family and everything, I should get some of that too. I wouldn't. And she said the money's gone. I would not think that. I wouldn't, but maybe she fell on really hard times with her stolen parents. Great, but, you know. Isn't that awful? It's awful. How is that not a happy ending? Well, it's like, hey, I'm sorry you've gone. She's probably feeling a lot of feelings like, why didn't you come looking for me earlier? What? What? I'm just trying to justify why. They looked. They looked and looked. She's the one that discovered that she was. The daughter? Yeah, she's hurt. She's hurt. She probably didn't even know she was missing. The parents are hurt. The parents are hurt. Yeah, can you imagine? I can't imagine somebody stealing my kid. 23 years searching for that kid. Although technically, you do owe her allowance for all the years. 23 years of allowance. Yeah, she wants that too.
She's like, where's the freaking Barbie dream house? Also yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden announced a $53 billion federal program to build new high-speed rail networks. Maybe spend more money. Make the existing ones faster over the next six years. He says it's part of the effort to enable the U.S. to compete and lead internationally. Yeah, for sure. We want to be able to get to Reno. Fast. Yes. Obviously, a lot of people are upset about this plan just because why don't you spend more money? Yeah, spend more. $53 billion. You don't have that? $53 billion. What's going on sport? For a trade. Well, we have a jug. Speaking of fast bullet trains, we've got a juggernaut in town, and they are the San Diego State Aztecs. They won again last night. Oh, yeah. And, dude, they didn't just win. They put it on Utah 85-53. Holy smokes.
Yeah, they are 24-1 now. And moving up in the rankings, I can't wait for March to see these guys play in the tourney. Just incredible. Absolutely. Chase Tapley and Tim Shelton, the two guys that had hurt their feet, did not even have to suit up even though the x-rays were negative. They didn't even have to suit up. And so the Aztecs win again. They are looking strong. And the Green Bay Packers took it back to Lambeau yesterday. They had a huge tailgate. Big party. Big, big party at Lambeau. Everybody took the day off. You know how cold it was? What? The wind chill was negative 14. And they could have cared less. 56,000 people. So I have a little bit of audio. It's Aaron Rodgers, Mike McCarthy, and Charles Woodson. Until two days ago, the greatest day of my sporting career was April 23, 2005. When this organization picked me in the draft, and we did it together, and we brought that title back home, baby. We love you. I just want to thank the fans. You're clearly an energy force for our football team. Just keep bringing that passion, that energy, and we'll keep bringing them trophies home back to you. Great job, for sure. This is what you play the game for. Hello, baby. All right, everyone finally got here.
And this is something that nobody can ever take from me, so I'm never coming down from this high. That's awesome, dude. That is awesome. How fun would that be at Qualcomm one day? I just want to say that's not a stadium sound. Thank you. Okay. Oh, my gosh. There we go. I just want to say Brett Favre can suck it. Yep. And I won a Super Bowl and you weren't here. Man, I wish there was more people here. There's actually nobody here. Hello? There's three people here. And to the three of you, I say congratulations to us. And Brett Varv and Zuckit. So anyway, what else is going on? Is that it? Yeah, I did too. Zuckit, dude. I did two stories. I know, I was just asking. Well, there's a ton, but you want to give me more sports stories? No, no, no. Okay. I'm screaming. No one's screaming, Mike. Yelling. Don't be upset. I'm not yelling. I'm not yelling. You were yelling. I was. You were screaming. I didn't scream. I'm going to play lyrical chairs. All right. I'm one scuff from San Diego. Who are you going to take in lyrical chairs? You can tell us. Hi, scuff. Who are you taking?
All right. Hang on a line. M1 Pool Man from Encinitas. Who do you want? Yes, indeed. Got it. I'm excited to see how Jay does. M1 Jaime from San Marcos. I'll take the Don, Mikey. All right. Hang on a line. M1 Trish from Fallbrook. Who would you like? There you go. Please watch closely as I use my lips. All right. What was that? It's a clip of Lauren. What was that? It's a clip of Lauren from an instructional video that she auditioned for. She's mortified. She's mortified. And Jay found it on YouTube. Jay? Brilliant. I was like, here's my lips. Yeah, sign me up for that. He has a whole Lauren soundboard. It's brilliant. Maybe we do a prank call with Lauren soundboard. What was that, Lauren? I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. Gigantic. I hate you.
He's got control of the array. I want to put all kinds of stuff of him on there. Oh, yeah. We would have days of material. Okay, so. We need a timer. No, no, we don't need a timer for lyrical chairs. Nope, we don't. Sorry. Sorry, I don't mean to spin you out. I don't mean to spin you out. I'm so sorry, Mike. I'm so sorry. There he goes. Bye, Mike. Oh, Mike. You're screaming. Hello, Mike. How does it work? Okay, well, today I chose the topic for songs. And basically, you just go around. Look at Jay. You go around from Jay, Woods, Lauren, Mike. Jay, Woods, Lauren, Mike. And when I give you the topic, you have to come up with songs that have this in it. And sing just a little tidbit of it. Yes. You got to sing a tidbit of the song. You get a one-two count. Yeah. Got it. One-two count. I suck at this. I'm scared. Songs with the word baby in it. Oh, gosh. And I start? Yep. Baby, baby, baby. Ooh, baby, I love you way.
One, two. That was going to be me. Oh, baby, baby, I wasn't supposed to know. One, two. Baby blue was the color of her eyes. Baby, I'm going to want you. Baby, I'm going to leave you. One. Baby, baby, baby, baby, I love you. Aretha Franklin. Oh. Mike. Baby Blue Jeans Lady. Yes. Always be my baby. Wow, that was... I can think of a ton now. My heart's racing. I can think of a ton now. You got nut? I was going to do Ooh Baby I Love Your Way and you took it. M1 Scoff from San Diego. What's up?
What's he won for you, pal? What did he win, Jay? He got super cross tickets. Sweetness. Jay, what was that first song you did? You know, Baby, Baby, Baby. By Brett, I think. Oh, okay. We're supposed to do that. We're supposed to call you out. But something sounded... Kind of familiar about it. Yeah. What if he got us? Baby, baby, baby, and a baby. Baby, baby, baby. You can go rock-a-bye, baby. Baby, baby. So many. We just make some baby beluga. It's a baby pie on a baby day. You guys can be like, yeah, okay. Baby wants to be my baby tonight. We got to start trying that. I heard Jason. Mikey, you're full of it. You're old to open. Oh, baby, please. Yeah, that's true. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Not a real song. Not a real song? No. Baby, please don't ever go away. Baby, you aren't the one for me anymore. I found your son. Baby, I've been missing you all these days. I believe it. I believe it. All right. Next time, we got to try to weasel our way in. Great. I found your son. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And it's Krause. It's Krause. Singles, come on out to our meet and greet Friday night. It's going to be at the East Village Tavern in Bowl. And we're going to take over a whole bunch of lanes. And it's going to be from 5 to 7. Drink specials and happy hour stuff. But if you're a single person, anybody can come out, but if you're a single person, we'll give you a wristband. This is going to be great for the girls. There's going to be a lot of guys.
It's okay. Keep going, Mike. It's okay. Yeah, there'd be a lot of guys. If you're single, you get a wristband. Jay's going to be performing. If you have kids, kids can go until 6 o'clock. After 6, no kids. The word of the day is celery. When I say that between now and 10, be calling 9 to win a SeaWorld Fun Pack and $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Pick It Apart's coming up at 7.30. Yes. Let's see. So Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas, I don't think he necessarily knew that they did a bad job at the Super Bowl. Let's talk about the Super Bowl before we get into the book. Tell us your thoughts on it, because it got sort of mixed reviews. I was a huge fan of it, loved how you guys just rocked it. But what did you think? When we first started rehearsing, it was kind of like nerve-wracking, going up 300 feet up into the jumbotron. When the performance came, everything was... perfect yeah as far as the technical side you know we can't control that those aren't your people anyway that's that's the network's people yeah you can control your own people when you're on your own tour yeah you know they know and it's a huge job but we had fun doing it it didn't spoil it was great we had a great uh people were just loving it having a good time it's a great honor isn't it i don't think he knows is that the deaf guy
I don't know. There's a blind guy. I think he knows, but I, you know. Is that the guy with sickle cell? You're just throwing stuff out there? Is that the guy with asthma? It was supposed to be a joke. Like he didn't know how bad it was because he's deaf, but oh, ha ha, he's not actually deaf. I get it. I thought maybe after a year you'd pick up on that. He's just joking. I don't think he knew. I think he knew that the people in the crowd were loving it. They were probably dancing. Everyone is talking about it may have been the worst performance at a Super Bowl. I fell asleep during it, and I asked Matt, I'm like, how was it? And he was like, that wasn't bad. You guys watch the Super Bowl just you and him? And his brother. That's it? Maybe you come join your friends. That sounds depressing. It was. He wanted to watch the game with his brother. Him and me and his brother both fell asleep. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. That was like mine too. I fell asleep. Great part of it. During the game. And you got in trouble. So your husband watched the game and you were sleeping. That's how he wanted it. He wanted to be standing in front of the TV in his position and I needed to be in my spot on the couch and I was there. Oh, my gosh. How many outfits did he change into? No, you know what he did.
You know what I said at the party? He's probably naked by now. He's nude at this point. No, he had on his Lucky Steeler shirt, which is what he had been wearing just about every game. And it wasn't working. And so he turned it inside out so the emblem was closer to his heart. Todd, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that this is what your wife does for a living. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this is what your wife does for a living. Not only that, but he was singing the song. It was singing a song with the word love in it the whole day. Like, oh, what was the song? He just got a new job, by the way. What was the song? He just got a new job. He tells Sienna that the secretary kept looking at him in the office and smiling. And she's like, oh, yeah, wives love to hear that. But she finally comes up to him. She goes, I have to tell you, I love the Mikey show. I listen to your wife every morning. Oh, no. And so he's like, that's great, babe. Now everybody knows that I fart and how much I fart. I'm a farter. And I said.
Oh, babe. Anytime anyone smells anything bad, they're going to think it's the new guy. The new guy stinks. Yeah. He's going to be Farty. That's his name. Farty. Yeah. Farty Farrar. You see Farty Farrar? Oh. Hey, Farty Farrar. Yeah. Seriously. He's like, great. Well, you know, that's payback. I used to be tied to God. Now I'm farty. Farty Farrar. Farty Farrar. That's going to stink. I said it's payback because you always fart in front of me. So now I get to talk about it. Oh, wow. I love you so much. You're so handsome, Todd. You're so handsome. You're so better. I love you. Speaking of the Super Bowl, somebody caught on their cell phone Christina Aguilera rehearsing the Star Spangled Banner. Did she mess that up, too? No. Word of the day is celery. Don't forget, we looked at this video on YouTube this morning. Just died laughing. It's amazing. You ever just make a career out of sounding like Bon Scott? Yeah. All right, so you guys ready to hear this audio from a telephone? This came from a telephone. And it's just some girl, you know, she got to be inside of Texas Stadium and videotape Christina Aguilera doing her rehearsal for the Super Bowl.
Everybody knows she screwed up the lyrics. She flubbed up the words. And this is her during rehearsal. This is not happening right now. She's a badass, you ask me. Yeah. Sounds better this time. Way better. Yeah. She's good. It's too bad that didn't happen when she did it. Poor girl. She can sing like that. She's going to be remembered for jacking everything up. I'm so glad that you can't. Jenna. Why? Because then we'd have to hear it all day. True. This was considered the best national anthem ever. Lip synced. Yep. Ooh, it was. Rerecorded. Most are. Unicorn. Whitney Houston. The reason I say that somebody is a unicorn is because I say that their voice is so unusual, their talent is so extraordinary, that to...
See them or hear them is as unusual as seeing a unicorn running down the street. But that feels good to be able to do that. Yeah. I don't like that it's pre-recorded. It thumbs me out. It's still good, though. It's still great. It's still her. She's cheating. It's still her. I mean, it's just the stadium wants you to do it that way. A lot of times, you know, the reverberate. How do you say that word? Reverberation. Not in the reverb, but the... Like the reverberations come back and you can't hear it. I don't know. Don't look at me like that. I don't think that's the word. Reverberations, yeah. The reverberations. The reverberations. It's hard to hear. Reverberation? Reverberation. Reverberation? Reverberation. Reverberation is what I said. Reverberation. Reverberation. Is that right? Yeah. Say it. Easy. Hey.
When I get the chance, I'm going to take it. I'm going to get it. Yeah, fair enough. That doesn't make sense. Touche! I might. I might have. Sophomore year of high school. Might have gone to a Sam Goody. And I might have bought the single for I Will Always Love You. And I might have played it in my car all the time. Wow. It's gorgeous. I don't even blame you for that one. I might have. You don't blame them for that one? No, it's such a good song. I might have said it was for my mom. Sienna, you're a 25-year-old woman. Uh-huh. And so from your point of view, I can see how you would not think there's anything unusual about that at all. However, that is a 35-year-old man who is the guy-est guy I know.
He's got a dip of snuff in. Not really. I'm not the guy's guy, you know? No, he gets his nails done. I've done it one time. He refers to his haircut as a PHC. Hey, when it's a PHC, it's a PHC. It's a perfect haircut. Yeah. Wears pink shirts sometimes. Pink is the new white. Pink. Write that down. Please write that down. Yeah. It's true. Pink is the new white. It's not the new white. It is the new white. And not everybody can. The singer pink is more the new white than pink. Pink on a guy. Sienna said that she loved it. And she said complimenting me on that was like vinegar in her mouth. And that is a quote. Word for word. I said this is tasting like vinegar coming out. Sienna goes, you look really good in that pink shirt. And to say that is like vinegar in my mouth. It was a good color on it. Oh, yeah. Creep. I'm not a creep. How's it a creepy? It just feels so good in my ears. Listen to this. Might have cried. This is so good. I might have been going through a breakup and I might have cried in my Mustang listening to this on a tape. I love you. It was a two-sided tape, both the same song. I love that you're telling this. The lady. It was a hard time for me. It was actually my junior year.
Woods just sitting there in that Mustang. Outside of San Judy. Not at all surprised. Sweating those bucket seats. Might have cried. Might cry right now. Imagine if you had a daughter and she just sang this. And you were like, oh my gosh! Bittersweet. Well, she actually is a cracker. I know. I've got one for you. Since we're admitting. If we're in the trust tree. If we're in the trust tree. Which we are. I may have been parked at Christmas Hill Park. What is that? It was a park. South of the border? That would be Navidad. Navidad. I may have been parked at Christmas Hill Park in Gilroy. Not going through a breakup. Wishing.
I were going through a breakup. No. Over this particular girl. To this song. I'm scared. You should be. I don't recognize it yet. Oh, you will. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. In my white Toyota pickup. I don't know it yet. Playing this on cassette. Relating to every word. Wow. Holy crap. Richard Marks. Richard freaking. I. freaking love this song. I love it. Hearing it now, I almost feel like I'm back in that stupid car. I love her so much. Why can't I have her? Why does she have to like that guy that looks like he's from Skid Row? He looks just like the drummer from Slaughter.
Like when you stick your tongue out like that, I'm like, ah. I'm glad I'm mine. Freaking good kisser. Melissa now almost told me that. How great is this stupid song? It's brilliant. I wish that I could give you something. And I could be yours. Oh, there was fat little Mikey just crying his eyes out. In that truck. Sweet. Yeah, so sweet. I'm the clown when I do it, and you're sweet when you do it. How am I sweet? That's what Shay said. You listen to a woman's song. A little different. That makes it better? It's a guy singing it. I can't win. I can't win. What? I said I don't blame you. Yeah. And all I said about Woods was, I'm not surprised. Yeah, who is? Not in the least bit.
I was really upset. Amy Green broke my heart in two. What'd she do? Oh, dude. Was cheating on me with her ex-boyfriend the whole time. I was literally the only one that didn't know. Oh, that's the worst. And I would be like, I saw his Pathfinder in front of your house. And she's like, he had to drop stuff off. Don't be a psycho. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You want to go? Can we go do something? Let's just talk. Let's go get a frozen yogurt. She's like, I don't want to do this anymore. And I was just. You know, like it was the end of the world. Oh my God. I, I, this is so psyched. I found out this girl was cheating. And so I went to, I found out where they, well, I knew because I had gone and picked her up there one time. I'm going to break up with him. I'm going to break up with him. I went and waited for him to come home. I knew he was going to be home in like an hour. And she came out and she's freaking out. And she's like, get out of here. Get out of here. And I wouldn't leave. Wow. You got slapped. I got slapped. She was freaking out. She was like, you've got to leave. You've got to leave. You've got to leave. You were at his house. I'm confused. Yeah. She was cheating. You went to his house. And then she could get out. She was there. Were you going to fight him? He wasn't there. She was cheating on both of you then. I wasn't going to fight him. And I didn't. He came home. He came home. And I didn't fight him. I just wanted him to know. Right.
That you knew. I wanted him to know that she was cheating. She had cheated on me with him. And then got with him. And then was cheating with me. He didn't know about me. And the only reason that I agreed to it. Is because she said she was. And I believed it. Of course you did. Because we're big dumb idiots. Wow. Guy's car in front of her house. I'm like okay I believe you. Idiot. Because you don't want to believe what the real deal is. And my friends were like. You're a moron! I'm like, she's not cheating, dude. Yeah, you're like, you don't know her. You don't know what we have. When it's just the two of us, it's incredible. Nobody cheats on the kid. Nobody cheats on the kid. Idiot. I know. We got a fun game to play. We're going to be picking apart a scene from a film called... The Matrix. At last. Welcome to you. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Morpheus. Is that your screen name? I wasn't going to guess that at all. I'm Combone69. How are you? It's nice to meet you. Keanu Reeves, ever overactive? Never. No, I don't see me. I'm honored to meet you. I'm honored to meet you, Morpheus. No, the honor is mine.
Oh, no. The honor is mine. No. I insist. Oh, no. I'll kill you. No, no, no, no, no. Before the honor is yours. There is no freaking way that the honor is yours. It's mine. I called it. I'll fight you to the death on that honor. The honor? Fine. You are out of honor. You can have the honor. Come. Sit down. Whoopie cushion. Sorry. Just messing with you. It's a movie that takes place in the future, yet everybody talks like they're in 1844 British Victoria. Right. Come. Come. Sit. Have a seat. Hear that. From where dost thou enter? I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice. No, I'm actually feeling like Mel, who was in Alice. Alice worked for Mel. Mel's diner. Mel was sleeping with Alice? Like Mel. Tumbling down the rabbit hole. You could say that. Actually, that book, according to the date of this movie, is 600 years old. I don't even know what you're talking about. I can see it in your eyes. I'm wearing shades.
Those are colored contacts. Yes. The look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. It's a weird time to ask, but as long as we're talking, do you got any Richard Marks? You ever been cheated on by a girl whose boyfriend's pathfinder was in his front yard? No, but I did get slapped once. Do you believe in fate? No. Why not? If Jay had played the part of Neo, then much better. He'd have gone, do I believe in fake? No, I said, do you believe in fate? What's that? What is fake? You gotta keep the fate. You gotta keep the, like, keep the fate? Like George Michael, fate? No. Fate. Do you believe, Neo?
In fate. No, we're not late. Elaborate. I don't have any fate. I am a little constipated. I like the idea that I'm not in control of my life. I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. No, I'm here to buy cocaine. That was the deal. I thought that... That was... You're dressed like a giant black drug dealer. I'm not here for what you think I'm here for. Maybe you're expecting another Neo. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind. Driving you mad. It is this feeling that has broken... Woods, have you ever seen The Matrix? Yes. You didn't like it? No. You didn't like the bullets and all the stuff? No. Good girls. Like good movies. No, really? Like Eight Below. Do you know what I'm talking about? The Matrix. Demetrius? I went to high school with Demetrius. Y'all know a guy named Demetrius? No, I spell her. He's a good guy. He had some kind of weird disorder and made his eyes pink.
He's an Ambino. He was an Ambino. The only white guy named Demetrius ever. Yeah. Demetrius the White Bino or something. What it is. What it is. What it is, bro. Yeah. The Matrix is here. Up high. It is all around us. Even now in this very room, you can see it when you look out your window. Demetrius is here? What is Demetrius? When you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes, it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. What truth? You are a homosexual. I'm not. You are. I'm not. You are. You're blinded by the world. I haven't come out. You will. Okay, fine. That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. Did somebody say bondage? Are we going to smoke or what? A prison. Hello, me. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. It can only.
The Matrix is the... You have to see it for yourself. Soon you'll be taking another run. The Matrix. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill. The story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. I would like to recast... part of Neo with Steven Slater. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. I choose the red. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Follow me.
Hey, Brock. Are we online? Almost. Ladies and gentlemen, The Matrix. Wow. The Matrix. Very nice ending there. We talked about this yesterday, and I'm going to get your opinion on it. 5701949. You can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. We're going to ask everybody here on the show, too. Mikey, I'd love to get your take on this. I went out to lunch with a girlfriend of mine from work. Not my girlfriend. A girl friend. And I complimented the dress that she was wearing. What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboat son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. It's okay, Mike. It's okay. Just keep reading. It's okay. Don't worry. It's just a little joke that Jay plays sometimes. You old sailor, you. It's one of my favorites.
I complimented the dress she was wearing. I said she looked voluptuous in it. I said it as a good thing and she freaked out. She said I basically just called her fat. Isn't voluptuous a good thing? Like Kim Kardashian or J-Lo? You ask me, calling a girl skinny is more of an insult than L-O-B got offended one time. Yes. Man, I guess guys should just never bring up a girl's weight, even if you're complimenting her. Thanks, dude. M1 Bryce. Is that bad? And I want, before anybody says it, because Sienna's got a look on her face right now. 570-1949. I want to hear Sienna's take. I want to hear LOV's take. I want to hear dude's takes. 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. Got an email.
From a dude that said that he told his friend, who's a girl, that she was voluptuous. And she got upset. He says, Kim Kardashian's voluptuous. J-Lo's voluptuous. Why is he freaking out? Why was she freaking out? What is your take on that? And if you're a dude, have you ever done that? You ever said something to a girl, she freaked out? Daily. 5701949. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, a new study was conducted earlier this week, and they found that popular kids are more likely to be bullies in school. Now, there's different levels of popularity. The most popular of kids are not likely to be the bullies. It's the ones that are a little bit less popular, but still popular. It's like they have something to prove, so they pick on others. And then the dorky kids are never bullies. They're sweet. It disgusts me. I know. That makes me really mad. That disgusts me. I know. The, I'm not, I want to be more popular, so I'm going to be a bully, disgusts me. Yeah. It's like they're just trying to get to that top tier of popularity, you know? Gosh, dude. Yeah, so. And I think they should be punished so severely. A big event this weekend here. Can I just tell you this? If Luke bullies somebody, I am going to whoop.
His A. There's no way he will, though. You'll make sure that he knows not to be mean to other people. I mean, I'm going to teach him, but you know how kids are, man. I mean, the kids are their – you know, sometimes you do the best job you can. The bullies I've known have been like their dads. I'm not a bully. No, you're not a bully at all. Yeah. You have to learn that behavior, I think, somewhere. I don't think you just – comes up. Yeah. It's the funniest thing you've ever said on the radio ever. What was it? It's from Billy Madison. A bully has a son and they're both like... And all the brothers. And all the brothers. Doyle rules. And they just beat the crap out of kids and bully them. Also this weekend in San Diego, the Navy's going to be celebrating 100 years of flight with a huge air show, over 200 current and vintage military aircrafts. They're expecting over 120,000 people. My goodness. It's going to be beginning at 1 o'clock, and they're going to be flying over the Coronado Bridge and up the belly of the bay. So big event this weekend. And really quick, a 14-year-old was arrested late yesterday for shining a laser light into the eyes of a pilot who was approaching the L.A. International Airport. Wow.
We hear about these stories every once in a while, but I thought you guys would like to know that just in 2010, pilots reported 102 laser incidents. Wow. Why do you do that? It's so stupid. And you're going to get busted. I wonder how did they catch the kid, though? Because they probably have coordinates of where it came from, and it's easy. But it's really dangerous to do because pilots' vision gets blurred. Idiot. What's going on in sports? Well, there is a new... USA Today did a new poll. Who's the best quarterback in the NFL without a Super Bowl ring? And they did a poll, and they figured out it's not Donovan McNabb. It's not Carson Palmer. Please say Phillip Rivers. It is our own Phillip Rivers, who is the best quarterback in the NFL not to have a Super Bowl ring. Is that an award you really want to win, though? No. No, you don't really want to. His quarterback ratings over the last three seasons, 101.6, 104.4, and 105.5. He's getting better every year. You can't get a Super Bowl ring by yourself, though. Absolutely not. But please don't turn this guy into Dan Marino. Please don't make him Dan Marino. And then, guys, this is a story that is unbelievable.
There is a baseball coach named Tom Walter. He is the head coach at Wake Forest. He gave a kidney to one of his players, a freshman who he barely knows. They asked him, how well did you know him before this happened? Well, not that well. Obviously, we talked to him a couple times in the recruiting process. We had him on campus, a couple of phone conversations. And really, before he stepped foot on campus this past August, I didn't really know him at all, you know, any more than any one of our recruits, really. But, you know, through my time getting to know Kevin in late August and early September and just seeing what he went through day to day and the courage that it took for him just to even show up on our campus and go through the dialysis and keep showing up for class every day and passing all his classes, everything he did, you know, to me, it's just amazing. Isn't that incredible? That's incredible, man. Incredible. Very cool. And this kid would go to class with his dialysis machine every day. So his name is Kevin Jordan. And, you know, wish him the best. And same with the coach. Is it wrong to call a girl voluptuous? That's what this guy, M1 Bryce, was writing this about. And if you're a dude and you have, hey, I said this. You freaked out. I want to know. 570-1949. And M1 Carolyn, are you there?
I'm here. What's your take? I think that no matter what the adjective, if he's going to say voluptuous, skinny, whatever, I think that either way, you shouldn't be commenting on a co-worker's body. I think it's, he's creeped kind of for doing that. What if they're friends, though? Sorry? What if they're friends? Um, I don't know. I mean, if you're not sleeping with a woman, I don't know. You could say that dress looks nice on you. I like it. But to comment... specifically on her body and especially to say she's voluptuous, I don't know. I think it's kind of inappropriate. Yeah, and I think that you've got to be careful because you never know if somebody's going to think that. I think you have a good point. Thank you. Okay, thanks. Appreciate it. M1 Eric Terman wrote in. He said voluptuous is cool. If you're talking about a plus-size model, he should have said, girl, you look thick as hell. Oh, my God. You're killed for that. Thick as hell. Wow. Sienna, what would you think if a guy said, ooh, Sienna, you're voluptuous? I don't know if I would get mad. You're not mad at it. It depends. I guess it just depends. But I know that I've always, I mean, I have hips and I have boobs and I have butt. And I know that that's just how I am. And so, you know, it's not like, I think, he wouldn't say it if he was trying to insult you. You know what I mean? So he was clearly trying to be.
nice and give you a compliment i get where she's coming from totally but look pretty good are they real i think she you know for speed or for comfort it's not worth getting mad over how about you l.o.b well no one would ever call me that i always associate it with like having a big chest you know what i mean it's not just a big chest but that's what i always associate it with so if anyone did i would be like me me would you like it Probably not. I don't know. Matt told me I had thick thighs and I almost... Oh, what? Yeah. I almost hung him up. Matt, Matt, Matt. Matt? He's like, in a good way. In a good way. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What in the heck is that? I'm starting to worry about him. Thick thighs. You have thick thighs, babe. Like ham hocks. No, you don't. It's like... Thick thighs. I don't even get why he said that. Thick thighs. Thick. How did he fast forward the tape on that one and see that one go into a good place? She's like, oh, my God. Take your clothes off. Thank you. Yeah. That is hot. I was like, babe. Babe, you got thick thighs. Not like that. I didn't sound like that. Thick, like muscular. I was like, don't do that. Try it. I'm one Jackie from San Diego. You there? Yeah, I'm here. What do you think? Well, me as a woman, I agree with Sienna. I'm voluptuous.
And, you know, I have curves and it's part of being a woman. Pear-shaped. Yeah, pear-shaped. Coke bottle figure. Coke bottle. You are not pear-shaped, Sienna. Is pear-shaped bad? Yeah. Pear-shaped means that you have nothing up top, but you have a giant butt. Oh, I don't mean that then. Coke bottle. I mean boobs, butt, small waist. Yeah, that's a Coke bottle. We can greet this Friday. Jackie. Yes. Do you have a Coke bottle figure? Do you have big boobs, big butt? I'm a 34C. I don't really think those are big. I think they're average. Or you could call them perfect. You could call them perfect. I wonder if girls think that they're voluptuous and they're not or they're, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe I just started talking and I didn't have a place to go. And I just, you know, like a fighter pilot just hit eject. I want to squeeze them. Well, thank you. Thank you, Jackie. I see voluptuous as a compliment, though. I do. I do. I see a positive connotation on the word. I like voluptuous women. I always have. Well, then why do you think it's bad? I don't know. I just, again, it's like that you don't really just, you don't go there.
You know what I mean? You don't go there about a woman's weight or their figure. You just don't. You just say, man, you look great. You mean like you comment on my boobs all the time? Well, boobs are not part of the figure per se. What? No, because you can add or subtract boobs. You know, your hips, you ain't subtracting your boobs or your hips. You can? You can't, really. How do you subtract your hips? Well, I just know. Diet. After I had a baby, your hips widen and they shrink back. Yeah. Hopefully. I know, but I think what Woods is saying is that if you wanted to hide your boobs, you could. Yeah. You can't hide your hips. It's true. Or if, you know. Wear black. Boobs can be modified. You know, hips really can't. Yeah. Or, yeah. Sure. So if I wear black, it'll hide my big child-bearing hips. It's slimming. It will help. Uh-huh. Wear stripes, too. Black with stripes. You're dressed as a referee. Just pinstripe, dude. Vertical stripes. Y'all, I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm really sorry. What's the matter? We're not on the air, are we? Yes, we are. Nope, we're not. We're not on the air. We took a break. No, we took a break. I don't care if we're on the air. I lost a tape and I need it. Like a cassette tape? Like a Kim Kardashian tape? I just need it. What kind of tape? Like a VHS?
It's a video. It's like a Kim Kardashian tape. It ain't funny. And where is it? What kind of tape? What's on the tape? I ain't going to tell you. Where is it? What does it look like? Why would it be in here? Is it black? Did you film something in here? Of course you'd be the one to ask that. I'm just asking what it looks like. I had a video on my desk. Yeah, you did. And it's a private video. Not anymore. It's a private video? Creep. What's on there? Why don't you leave it at your house? Is it dirty? Is it salacious? Why don't we go to commercial break? Well, we don't have to. It's nobody's business what I did. Well, then why are you asking us? Because it is mine. Why do you... Can I just ask you? What? Is it a sex tape? No. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Where is it? Dude, I don't have your sex tape. Your creepy sex tape. I don't have it. It's not a sex tape. Isn't it? Thank God. It's a private tape that I did years ago in the privacy of a studio. That's disgusting. Were you in the San Fernando Valley by chance? It's even worse. You had it produced.
What's even worse is that Woods knows where most porn is done. Is that true? Yes. Oh, wow. Crepe? Give me my tape, Woods. I don't have it. I promise you. You do have it. On my unborn child. I don't have dark tape. Don't worry about your unborn child. I don't have it, Hoyle. I promise you, dude. I have it. You do? Yeah. I have it, and then I can play it. What is it? No, you will not. I will. Have you watched it? I haven't watched it, but I have it. It's right here. Of course you do. I don't want you to. Jay, hook up the VCR. It's hooked up. I'll give you cash money. Cash money. Nope. I have trade at Gordon Beer's. I doubt it. Nope. It's gold. I can feel it. You know it's gold because Jay would sell anything. I have got a boot barn script. Oh, wait a minute. Don't. Jay, do you really have it? Play it. I really do. Play it, Jay. What? Do I just start and just say my name? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I did a video. A video. Oh, wow. For eHarmony. Oh, wow. It isn't. Good for you, Moil. Oh, you're a dork. Get out there. Nobody needs to hear what I'm looking for. Okay. Hello there. This is Royal Henry and I am an eligible man. Can we just start again?
Wow. Hello. Let's start again. Diva. Hello there. Let's start again. Oh my God. Hello. One more time. Hey, chica. What the hell, man? This ain't yours to play. I'm just trying to help you out. Don't leave it at work. Yeah. Hello there. This is Hoyle Henry. I am 47 years old and I am looking for a black woman. Oil. Preferably. This is not your property. Just put it out there. Right out. The first thing he said. They said to say what you want. Be direct. Medium to full figured. I like to cook and I like to sing karaoke.
I also like to do things that you like. So if you're interested in doing that, I would love to talk to you. I will sue you. You left it here. Yeah, you're a desperate man. I'm into all sorts of things. I would love to get married one day. And I would love to make love. If this sounds good to you and I look good to you, I hope that you will respond to my profile. Is that good, or should I just add enthusiasm? You didn't even edit it. Hello there. I'm Hoyle Henry. I'm looking for you, young lady. Are you black and hefty? Hello, everyone. I am Hoyle Henry. No, not everyone, because then they're going to think I'm trying to whore around. Hi, chica. This is Hoyle Henry. I am 47 years of age, and I am looking for a black woman who is... Full figure. If that sounds like you, and you're like me, and you like to catfish, catfish fishing, then, you know, hook it up. Hook it up. Laugh it up. I'll see you in court, man. Oh, my gosh, dude. I guarantee you that he brought it here to edit it on the machines here. I guarantee you. When's that tape going out?
Well, I just did. Well, when's it going back to eHarmony? As soon as it's not in the raw form. How old is it? Four and a half years old. Maybe you should give out your email so people can contact you. FoilHandReady at LincolnFinancialMedia.com Have you ever made love, Foil? That is none of your business. The tape said that you were looking to make love. I'm looking to get married and then make love. Oh, okay. Okay. Because that's the way you do it. With a black woman that is in her preferably mid-30s. Wow, younger woman. And likes to catfish. Whatever that is. What does that even mean? You're really narrowing the playing field. All right, I'm just going to put it out there. Let's hear it. I want her fat. Oh, wow. I want her big, fat. Wow. You're repulsive. I am not. That's what I'm attracted to. I grew up. It's okay, you know. Whatever floats your boat. Different strokes. Oh, fair enough. But he's repulsive. He's a repulsive dude. I am not a repulsive dude because I like a certain type of woman. Okay. I like her to boss me around. Oh, boy. And I like her to be a little bit more full-figured. Chubby. Big. Big. Wow. I don't need to horse around. I want this woman.
Janormous. Janormous. But you're so tiny. Mommy calls me a chubby chaser. Oh, my gosh. Hadn't your mother knows your sexual proclivity? No. Woods, I don't talk about that stuff. Well, you just said your mom calls you a chubby chaser. That's because all of my girlfriends have been larger black women. Well, isn't that your sexual proclivity? No, it's my preference to a girlfriend. Wouldn't you call that like a fetish? Sexual proclivity means that you're having... Shut up. Wouldn't that be like a fetish? That's his type. It's just a type. Don't you have a fetish for him? No. Because you're so little and they're so big. Fetish is like feet. Isn't it fetishistic? No. Fetish is like a feet, you weirdo. I'm the weirdo. Yeah. I'm a married man. It's all right. Hoyle can like whoever he wants to like. I'm a married man. The kid likes it what kid likes. Oh, my God. You're not the kid. You're not the kid, Hoyle. I am the kid. The wannabe, maybe. All right. The kid has an email. It's Hoyle Henry. Lincoln Financial.
There was another weird national anthem I didn't even know about. Very unusual. It was years ago. R&B singer, L.O. Moon. Play it for you next. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. P.J. Harvey. Album is dry. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. And you make new M1s. Part of M1 Nation. We got M1site.com, which is an M1 fan site. And we love you, M1 Nation. Let's see. So I told you about how Christina Aguilera had messed up the national anthem. Did you know?
that Marvin Gaye had a real unusual national anthem at the Super Bowl. Mike, in his defense, he was about two eight balls in. That's more like a downer. In his defense. You can't change the national anthem. If you're Marvin Gaye, you can't. But it doesn't sound very good. It doesn't sound very good. But Marvin Gaye, he could try something. It's like a Casio beat. Maybe he tries at the house. Maybe try it in your garage and see how it sounds. And then if it doesn't sound good, you know. Bounce it off of someone. Yeah. Maybe try it for somebody. But see, he probably did. And they were like.
Great. Yes, Marvin. Yes. You're getting paid. Yes, that's good. That's great. Don't change anything. Don't switch it up. Use that MIDI that you have and do it with a beat. Anybody have a snorer in their life? Yes. Yes. Anybody hear a snorer? Yep. A little bit. You snore, Chris? Chris snores. You snore woods. Oh, bad. I can after drinking sometimes. Yeah, I can after drinking. I've been told. I can wake myself up every once in a while. Me too. I have sleep apnea, so I'm going to die soon, but I have sleep apnea. My mom has sleep apnea. It's awesome. You just stop breathing. That's me. Yeah, you have to go get like a mask. If there is anyone listening that's, you know, their significant other is a snorer.
and their snore is funny, I'd like you to call and imitate it. And I don't want you to exaggerate. I want you to do what it really sounds like. I once knew a girl who I will not say her name. Her initials were TJ. Hooker? TJ Hooker? Get it? TJ. William Shatner. The world's oldest professor. Was she a man? She has sex with you? Pay for sex. Like the girl from Monster. She'd take pesos. Everything you say gets turned around on you. Isolate. I had water in my mouth.
Everything you say. That's turned around. Jay is cracking. Oh, my God. He's losing it. Jay. He's going to kick that door open. Y'all shut up. He's going to beat us. I'm going to kill y'all. I'm going to kill Chris from Fallbrook. Who are you going to imitate? It's gross. What does it sound like? He's woken me up before and I sleep in a completely different room. Let me hear it. Yeah. He breathes in normally, but when he breathes out, he goes. That's awesome. Thank you, dude. I will imitate. And I'm not exaggerating that this is what it sounded like. Every time I've told this story, TJ, every time I've told this story, people go,
That's not true. You're full of ass. I'm telling you, this is truth. This is truth. What? I'm not. What? I'm telling you the truth. She had an operation. And that's what it was like after. After? Yes, after. She said it was worse. Do it again. It's a deal breaker. Wow. First time, this was me. Oh, my God. Did she warn you? I actually said this out loud. I go. This is a true story. I actually said out loud. I go, uh, uh. In bed. In bed. Oh, my God. What did you do? Get the crap out of you or what? Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. Yeah. Do you even try to sleep?
When that happens, like, what do you do? I mean, there's just. So what if you'd waited till you got married and found that out? You know, if you're in love, if you're in love. Hey, listen, she's married. He's bumming. He's deaf. He loves her. He's like, shut up. Hey, listen, you know, he. Is able to, you know, deal with it. In another room. I snore so bad. And my wife has taken to snoring now. And it's a real treat. We now race to fall asleep. We've got to see who can fall asleep first. M1. Is it Myra? It's M1 Mrah. Mrah. Mrah. Mrah. Mrah. From Vista. Who do you know that snores and what does it sound like? It's my mother. And she snores like this. Even until now. So it's quite funny. I guess you can call it a snore. It's more like a moaning snore. Yeah. That's not snoring. You guys ready to hear it? Not yet. Jay. Go ahead. Okay. Yep. Ew. Ew. Your mother does snore like that. Yeah, mommy and daddy aren't sleeping. No, they are. I've heard those noises from people before.
You hear like that? That's a snore? I'd almost prefer a moo. Yeah. I'd almost prefer a snore. Jay, stop! I would rather have... Okay! What are you dreaming about? Yeah. I would do something right now, but I'm not allowed to do it until the day, the Monday after Thanksgiving. Chris knows exactly. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about and you can't do it. Can't do it until the Monday after Thanksgiving. So, zuck it. You don't know, Sienna? I can guess. Something about me being. Sorry. Not allowed to do it until Monday. It's a real bummer, isn't it? You know what I'm talking about now? What? Yeah, but do you know what the bid is? Let's not. We don't have to rehash it and everything. Let's not rehash it. Hey. I didn't say anything. Sienna? Sienna? She didn't. She didn't. You better not. Hey. She didn't. It's $100 a piece if you do it. You just made that up. It's $100 a piece. You can do it. Get out your wallet.
Sienna? Gosh darn it. It's almost worth it. Sienna? Don't you do it. I'm not. You can't. $100 joke. Sienna? $100 joke. That's $2. I hate you all. It's like paying $50 for fries, but they're the best fries you've ever had. Fork it over. No one made up this $100 rule. He just made it up. Fork it over. M1 Casey from San Diego. Hi. I nicknamed him the dragon. It's my boyfriend. Yeah, wow. The dragon. He has sleep apnea, too. But this is how he pretty much sounds. He goes... That's me. That's mine. That's my mom's. You could die. I know. He's got sleep apnea. He needs to go to the doctor. I just refuse, but... He's a CPAP machine, and he still snores. He's a mouse breather.
How old are you? You sound like you're 12. Casey, are you from Arkansas? Casey, how old are you? I'm 22. Now, wait a minute. In 10 years. Now, wait a minute. Do you mean that when he's just normally talking, he'll be like, and breathe through his mouth when he's just standing there? And then sometimes when we're watching TV, he just breathes loudly. And then sometimes I think he's automatically sleeping. Because he falls asleep really fast, too. They always do. The snorers always fall asleep to that. I know. Did you know when we very first started in the studio, you weren't in the office yet. It was just me and Sienna. And we were working one morning. And she goes, what? Stop breathing so loud. And I was just sitting here. I was like working. And apparently I'm like. He's like. Yeah. He does. Oh, wow. It's over the top. We were just starting to fall in love at that point. And so.
We were just learning about each other. Yes, that's true. You know what I mean? Now we just deal with everybody's little peccadillo. First of many. No. M1 Jason from Carmel Valley. Good. A 20-pound little French bulldog that snores worse than a 300-pound drunk man. Can you imitate it? I can try, but it's kind of like... I want you to record the bulldog. Yeah, send it in. Send it in. All right, we'll record it. When we first brought him home, he was just this tiny little thing, and he didn't do it. And literally within a few days, we had to move him out of our bedroom. We couldn't even sleep. He was behaving. Monstress? He can't sleep. They're monsters. They're monsters. M1 Harold from San Marcos. Good morning. Good morning. When my wife was pregnant, she would snore just like a flea stack. From Land of the Lost? Yeah.
From Land of the Lost, yeah. What did it sound like? It sounded just like. Oh. Like Darth Vader. Yeah, I kind of like Darth Vader, too. Thank you. I don't know. You ever saw that, Land of the Lost? That crazy kid. I don't know. I like girls. I like girls. I've never seen that. It was a kid show when, you know. Living in the land of the lost. Yeah, they used to get the. Tyrannosaurus Rex with what they called it a fly swatter. It was a big stick and they'd jam it down his throat. What was it? Chewy? That was a little furry creature? Yeah. No. That was in Star Wars. Chaka? Chaka. Chaka. Sleastax, Crystals, Holly. Will. Will. Will. It's a great show. I have it on DVD. Do you really? I have season one on DVD. What do you have season one of on DVD? Dexter? No. My wife has it. Do you have Punky Brewster?
No, never seen one episode. You should see her now. You should see Punky Brewster now. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Want to hear Uncle Victor's thing? I don't. No? Come on. Wow. I'd like to hear it. You do? Yeah. Hey, it's Uncle Victor for Please Rub My Back. It's Valentine's Day. I injured my back years ago on the ganagio job. And it hurts. It's so nice when you gently rub my back for Valentine's Day. Sometimes when my back hurts, I got to take pills because it hurts so bad. So please do me a back rub for Valentine's Day. It's my favorite drum beat in the world.
Your favorite part of it is the drum beat. Absolutely. I love it. Maybe we just play the drum beat. I would probably die laughing. Hey, Mikey, what do you and your fellow cast members think about this one? Feel free to use this on the air. My sister-in-law was babysitting our one-year-old son, and he fell and broke his arm. Oh, gosh. Needless to say, we were very concerned. She feels terrible. But you know what's odd? She never even apologized. How was it her fault? She said something to the effect of, quote, he's so hard to keep up with, but never said, I'm sorry. He's fine and everything, but shouldn't she take some of the responsibility? M1 Marco. Well, accidents happen. I wouldn't say, I'm sorry. Let me finish. What? Hang on. What? Calm down. Are you kidding me? Hang on. What? I wouldn't say I'm sorry. I would say that I feel terrible. Just say you're sorry. Because that would be the truth. Just say you're sorry. I don't have anything to be sorry about. It was an accident. Don't you? I don't. Don't you? No. Yes. No, it was an accident. Even under the best watch, kids get hurt. Yeah. They break their arms? Yeah, they break their arms. They fall.
And you feel terrible. You're like, oh my gosh. Makes sense if it's a seven-year-old and they're jumping on a trampoline. They're playing ball. They're playing tackle football. I get it. There was at my house. There was nothing I could do. You're one. You have to watch that baby all the time. Yeah, but they slip too. It is your fault. It's your fault. It's not your fault. It's not. It's not your fault, but it happened on your watch. I don't know what I would do. Lose it. I would lose it. You would lose it. With Sagey, as obsessed as you are. Oh my gosh. She has a tiny scratch and I'm like, what happened? But if your sister or someone was watching her, you wouldn't be like, what did you do? A thousand percent. That is the exact reaction she would have. I would get mad. My mom watches Sage in the morning. And I say. better watch out because I don't know what I'm going to do if I come over here. Yeah. My kids have had broken arms, stitches, everything. You can't watch them enough. And if you do watch them that closely, they're not going to ever, they don't grow up. Right. And I know that. I think to say I'm sorry is inappropriate. What? You are insane. Because to say that you're sorry means it was your fault. You could, I would feel terrible about it. Don't you kind of feel like I'm sorry.
I wasn't watching close enough. Right. Or I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that this happened. Well, now, that brings up a great point. If, in fact, I wasn't watching close enough, yes. But I'm assuming that, you know, I'm watching the kids. Right. They break their arm. You're not going to say, I'm sorry. So I should be. You didn't do it. Yeah, I should be with my arms around the kid. Yes. Every single second. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wasn't there one? No, you can't. You should be watching them. Says the guy with no kids. Well, here's the thing. We got one-year-olds now that walk, and you watch them, but you watch them walk. And you watch them fall. And you watch them fall, and you watch them hit their heads. You know what I mean? You have to take responsibility because it was on your watch. Well, you say, I feel terrible. And I'm sorry. You're totally against... Can you say, I'm sorry this happened, I feel terrible? I say, I feel terrible. Just nut up and say you're sorry. Words mean so much to me. And sincerity and genuine. I am allergic to fake and phony. But aren't you sorry that it happened? And I feel that's so fake and phony. I feel sorry for the kid. You're not sorry then. You're genuinely not sorry. I feel sorry for the kid.
No, but I genuinely feel terrible. Well, let me tell you this. I wouldn't want to take any ownership. I feel terrible. If Luke and Ryan were at my house, and Jamie and I were watching them, and one of them fell and broke his arm, the first thing out of my mouth would be, Mike, everything's okay. I am so sorry, dude. Luke fell and broke his arm. I am so sorry. That makes me think that you are a jackhole, and you're not. Why would you think that? Because you're apologizing. Because you weren't paying attention. I would feel, should sound like this. Miserable. Should sound like this. Mike, don't freak out. Luke is okay. But he fell and he broke his arm. And he's okay. And I'd be like, oh my gosh, what happened? He was running around. We were there. We were watching him. And he tripped and he fell and he broke his arm. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't even need you to say that you've, I don't. That's all I need. That's all I need. See, that's all you need for the immediate phone call or something. But sometime during the exchange, you'll be like, man, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, dude. Sorry this had to happen. When I wrapped it up, I'd go, I'm so sorry, dude. I'm so sorry. When I wrapped it up, I'd say, gosh, I feel terrible, dude. Because I would. But I'm not sorry because that means I didn't. And when you did, right now when you went through that exercise, and I heard you say that, I was like, what? You thought it was a vacation. No, I thought. I didn't think it was fake.
What I thought was, what did you do? Where were you? Where were you? At the store getting dipped? At the store getting dipped. Oh my gosh. Yep, he left my kid alone. Do you think I would do that? I don't, but the way you apologized. Bro, if you didn't apologize, if you didn't apologize, I'd be like, what the F did you do? But maybe not the first thing, because when you call, your job is to calm the parent down. So maybe not the first thing you say is, I'm sorry, because you're like... Automatically. Why are you apologizing? M1 Nation, what do you think? 570-1949. Are you supposed to say that you're sorry? And, like Wood said, are you actually responsible? You know, hey, look, they're watching your kid. They're responsible for your kid. Are they responsible for the accident? Should you say you're sorry? Is saying you feel bad enough? 570-1949. Want to know what you think? We got a lot of people on hold right now that want to talk about this. Somebody wrote us and said that their sister-in-law was babysitting their one-year-old, fell down, broke his arm, and sister never said sorry.
I said, well, if it was an accident, I don't know that there really is a reason to say I'm sorry. I think that's disingenuous. But it wouldn't be disingenuous to say, oh, I feel terrible because I think you would. But I don't think you have anything to be sorry about because that implies that you're at fault. And I don't think you are, but Woods thinks you are. 570-1949. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, I'm just going to say this quick, Mike. Don't freak out. I'm already freaked out. I'm done. You just spun me out. There's a new app out that helps Catholics confess on the go. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. It's available for your iPhone. It's called Confession, a Roman Catholic app. And it was created with the help of two Catholic priests. Moving on. It's better than not at all, right? I like it. What? You're so mean. I think it's brilliant. He does not.
Ladies and gentlemen, I do a separate podcast called VOM. You can find it on iTunes by searching VOM. And we will be talking about that. And by we, I mean me. I will be talking about that very subject in 25 minute form. Wow. Later. A Roman Catholic app. I will put this disclaimer out there. You should know this is not the VOM podcast is not the Mikey show. It's a completely separate thing where I go off. Oh, wow. I go off in my, you know, I basically have a Christian talk show. And so you can search it. Is that what you have now? No. Moving on. It had to be done. It had to. I love you. All of you. Gleeks. Isn't that what you have now, idiot? Really, plebeian? Don't you? Really? How is your VOM podcast different from what you do? Oh, no. Oh, wow. Yeah. Don't you do four hours of Christian radio anyway? That's what I think I hear every day, isn't it? Is 20 hours a week not enough for you?
Apparently you need more time to talk about it, eh? I tuned in one morning and heard the entire book of Matthew read over the air. Might as well. Psalmist. Wow. Proverb reader. Corinthians lover. Beatitude reciter. Thessalonian. Revelations lover. Exolation! Exodus! Christian! I hate you. I hate your show. I hate everything about it. And I hate your theology. The only person that I hate more than you is Garrett. Yes! 20 more hours. You're okay. We just try to make you have fun in the morning. Try to laugh. Hey.
Loosen up, let yourself go. You'll really like it. Yes, perhaps you do a dissertation on the Romans this morning, eh, Mikey? We don't talk about stuff like that. We don't do that stuff. I thought I heard you talk about Passion of the Christ. We did mention that briefly. Briefly. It's a movie. Did you just do the script on the air? Is that what you did? No. We don't really speak Latin, so. Don't you? I know you probably do. Actually, Latin, Orthodox, Greek, and Hebrew. Wow. Arabic as well? Aramaic. Ah, my bad. Idiot. Don't hate us, please. I don't hate you. I hate him. Him meaning Mikey? Him meaning the Christian metalhead from Rock 105. Mikey means well. He's the funny guy. We wouldn't be here without him. Oh, you mean tattoo Christian rock metal? Yeah. Play another Metallica song while you're talking about religion. I can guarantee that you and Mikey have something in common. Really? Yes. We've both been in the reader. I actually write for it. He's been in there because people talk about what a creep he is. Have you ever been to Roberto's and had their enchilada? Yes.
So there you go. There you go. Ah, I see a smart person and a... Can actually have something in common. Enchiladas. I hate you. Don't. Stop playing the piano when you're talking to us. It's so weird. I will not stop playing the piano. You play it while you're talking. It's so weird. It's the piano. Why do you throw your hair back? Because... Do you want to borrow my hair clip? No, I don't. Why do you have a giant... plate of baklava and a goblet of wine right in front of you. I think it's the master cleanser or something. What's that joke maker? I don't know. You have something and there's like cayenne pepper floating around in it. Brickler. Laugh maker. Comedy store goer. Gig lover. Sorry. Gig lover.
I'm an artist. Freaky. Freaky. Do you know that I actually studied in Brussels? Oh. You're a thespian? You're a lesbian? Oh, of course you would think that's what she said. Did you just say that's what she said? Surprise, that joke didn't come from Jacef. Jacef, the master dirt maker. Yes. So tell me more about VOM, Mikey. Your podcast, VOM. It's short for VOM. Oh, my. I'm so scared of you. No, it isn't. It's VOM. It's a podcast I'm doing. It's separate from this radio show. When will he be fired? When? Hopefully never, pal. You know, I got signatures to get you off the air. Seven signatures? 37.
Wow. I'm so sorry to those 37 people. Scared. None of them are from here. It was an online. I know. I saw it. That was Interview with a Plebeian brought to you by PBS. Next week on Interview with a Plebeian, The Mikey Show. Every week. Hey, pretty much. Also. Jay's going to be excited about this because he's a Glee. Glee has announced a new concert tour. And yes, they are coming to San Diego Woods. I can't wait. Still the need to go see him in concert. I wonder if Garrett can get me tickets. Garrett! He'll be here May 29th at the Valley View Casino Center if you want to go see Glee. Hey, Garrett. Garrett. Glee is a very popular show. Garrett, can you get me tickets? Garrett! Thank you. I didn't want your name. I didn't want to know if I could get tickets. This is from Glee. They're good. They are good. The girl, one of the girls from the show sang before the Super Bowl. She was good. She's really good. Why do you guys have to hate? It's a good show. I've never seen it, but I want to. Really? Of course. I've never seen it, but I want to. It's fun. It's just mindless fun. I saw one episode and I didn't get the hype, but...
It's great. It's really fun. You have to get to know the individual players on the show. I guess so. We got a lot of calls, people calling in about this. Should you say I'm sorry if you're watching somebody's kid and they break their arm in an accident? Yeah. And when Jenny from Lakeside. Yeah, hi. Hi, guys. Good morning. Hi. Yeah, about the whole sorry thing. I actually was just watching my sister-in-law's little girl yesterday, and she's a little over one years old. So, yeah, I definitely have an opinion on this. In listening to everything that Mikey said as far as overanalyzing the words, I agree with him, but I would not be sitting around overanalyzing should I say sorry or sorry in the moment of, you know, if something happened to that little girl, especially to the point of breaking a limb. And, you know, I was watching her like a hawk, but, of course, it's always those little times where a slip can happen. you know, the girl, while I'm having to bring her to the hospital, while I'm having to call the mom and comfort the mom, the word sorry might not come out when I'm talking to the mom on the phone. It might just be, you know, get to the hospital, she's okay, but, you know, blah, blah, blah. But, I mean, the second I see my sister-in-law walk in that door in the hospital, I'd be like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, she's okay. I mean, it can't not come out of your mouth. And, I mean...
I think mine wouldn't come out of my mouth. I think it wouldn't come out. I would say I would say that I feel terrible. And and when you say overanalyzing for if you did it, Jenny, it would be overanalyzing because you would have to think about things like that. For someone that's wired the way that I'm wired, I'm wired to have every word that comes out of my mouth have a meaning to it. That's why sometimes you'll hear me stop and go, wait, wait, wait. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean that. Let me reverse. Because I didn't. And I spoke too soon, and I want to reverse it because I didn't mean it. Words to me instinctually come out the way that I mean them. But this is both a good and a bad because a lot of the things that I say have a sting to them because I'm very blunt. I'm very blunt. Sienna can be very blunt with me and I love it. Like it's like warm honey because it's so – like we skip the middle stuff and it feels really genuine and real. I mean I wouldn't want Sienna to be like, wow, Mike, you're looking very fat today. I wouldn't want that. But I love when Sienna goes, something's wrong. What's the matter? Or – no. Sorry. Shouldn't have said that.
Didn't mean that. I like it when Sienna says, is there something wrong? And I go, nah. And she goes, it seems like there's something wrong. What's wrong? I like it. Or when she goes, eh. When she's just right to the point. That's the way I'm wired. I can't do that with everyone, though. I'm not wired that way, really. And I'm not. It doesn't make me disingenuous. But it has something to do, I think, with social grace. I really do. I think that in that case. You know, there's a way to do things and there's a way not to. Would that feel terrible suffice? No. Would not suffice? No, would not suffice for me, man. And, you know, I can't imagine that it would for you or your wife, Rebecca, if something like that happened on my watch. It would. If you said, dude, I feel terrible about this. Imagine if you were watching Woods' dogs. He was out of town and he came home and one of the dogs was lost. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't say? I'm so sorry. Well, I would. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. If I left the door open or I did something negligent, you bet I would say I'm sorry. No, dude. I have the fences in the back that they can get through. They can knock them down. And what if Sonny, senior beans, went running out through the fence and he just kept running? It's on you. It's your fault. Yeah, but I mean, it's not right. I wouldn't be sorry at all. That's your fault. You guys are a-holes. That's your fault. No, it's your fault. Maybe fix your fence. You didn't fix your fence. My fence isn't broken. And he's never gotten out on my watch.
Ever. Just say, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. You lost my way. And the parent would say, I would think, it's not your fault. It's just like a formality. I would think that you're assuming fault. If you say you're sorry and they decide to take you to court, it's like, well, you said you're sorry, so apparently you had some fault. No, it's just social grace. You felt sorry. Hey, papi. Senior beans. How come you don't fix the fence? The fence isn't broken. But if I can get through it, papi. Yeah, you get through, but you know better when Daddy's watching you because Daddy watches you very closely. Senor Beans, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen. Daddy don't watch me every day. I watch you all the time. I never let you outside without me there, ever. Never have. Yeah. It is not. No, he loves you. He lets me go and run free. No, I do not. You're lying. I have fun. You're lying. You're lying to make Mikey's point. I like it to have the fun. And I go, and I go, boop. You do go poop. And then sometimes I go pee-pee. Then you go outside. Then you go outside. Then I go outside. Yeah, exactly. But we don't see everything. You know that I always watch you guys in the backyard. You watch me. But if there is a crack in the fence, maybe you fix it. It's not a crack. That's the way the fence was made. Really? It was made with a big crack in it? It's not a crack.
What is it? They're bars. They're like jail. It's like Yale. It's like Yale? It's just like Yale. Oh, yeah. Well, if you tell the Mikey that there is a pants with the bars and I get out, he is a dum-dum. Yes. He's a hot puppy. He should apologize. That's right. I have a confession to make. What? Big surprise. BG, go outside. He does it. Papi. Yes. I have one more compassion. What is it? Oh, my goodness. Stop it. I know. Papi. What? One more compassion to you. What is it? Oh, my goodness. What are you eating this BG? You're doing so much. He's not being a good doggie. He's not. Papi? Yeah.
Last compassion for you. Stop being in the house, you and your brothers and sisters. You need to be stricter with it. When I'm not here, it's hard to be strict. It is so much fun. It is not fun. Our house smells like a toilet. It is not. I like to pee-pee on the carpet. I know you do. I like to pee-pee in the bedroom. Yes. I like to pee-pee in the kitchen. Yeah. I like to pee-pee in the 4J. Yep. I like to pee-pee in the... In daddy's office. In daddy's office. Yeah, I love to pee-pee in daddy's office now. It's great. Last confession, I have to go. Okay. What? Oh, my God. Look what you have to go home to. Oh, yes. Every day. And that's just one dog. Every day of my life. Puppy. Yep. You're not going to like that one. Really? No. That's so disgusting. Maybe fix the fence, keep them in the backyard. It's not broken. What if they can get out? It's not broken. I watched them, so they can't. And they don't. And never have. I'd like to know how this little baby got hurt. Me too. If it was like they were climbing up on something or just a natural slip. M1 Jonathan from Hillcrest. Hey, guys. I just wanted to point out that there are, in my opinion, two different...
Types of I'm sorry. There's the I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. And then there's the I'm sorry. Like if a parent, if a friend's parent dies and you're like, man, I'm really sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry for you. You didn't kill the guy. Yeah. I mean, you're just sorry. I'm sorry for the way you must feel. Yep. And that's, that's what I would mean. Yeah. Oh boy. So yeah. So I just want to make sure that we, we understand there are two different I'm sorry. Take it what you will. Like he's not buying it. Use it or not. I'm not buying it. I was a nanny for years for a little boy. I started watching him when he was eight months and I was there for the crawling and for the walking, the whole deal. And I it was at my house under my care that he smacked his head for the first time on the coffee table and got a fat lip. And I was like. Oh, my God. I mean, mortified, mortified. And when his mom came to pick him up, I was like, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. And all I wanted her to say and just to hear is it's not your fault. Yeah. And she did. She said that. But if I hadn't have said I'm sorry, I mean, there's no way I wouldn't have said I'm sorry. If it was, you know, if you feel like that was, you know. It wasn't my fault. I was watching him. I was right there. That's what they do. They pull themselves up on the coffee table and he lost his balance and wham, smack, you know. If I was a nanny.
I would probably say I'm sorry. Why? But it's the same thing. But not a pal watching his buddies. Just to give you a job? Your care no matter what. Your watch, your care, man. That's your job for the day. I think I feel different. Yeah, it's your job for the day. You're sorry that it happened. You're not necessarily accepting fault. Yeah, they know that I love the little boy. I still, you know, I mean, it just happens. I got, nah, they hung up. I had one person that was on my side. Jay's on your side. Yeah, Jay's on my side. A couple monsters. Nah, I'd tell you, I'd feel bad. Jay's always looking at the legal aspect. I think maybe it's because you guys have multiple kids now, and it's like you're so used to it. And for me, I have a new baby, and I'm like, and Lauren and Woods don't have babies yet, and I think you guys are just so used to it that it's like, eh, maybe that's what it is. Yeah, I'm more desensitized. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's playing the organ real good. Asia.
Underrated. Oh, love that. 100. Underrated. Why do guys love to play air instruments? I don't know. They all do. Girls don't do it. L.O.B., go to a concert with me one time. You will lose your mind. I'm sure. How come girls don't do air stuff? I play the drums and the guitar in the car sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Girls don't know how to play, though. Girls don't know how to play. I can play. You see how she just did it? Yeah. It's like Bam Bam. Bam Bam. Air drums are like this. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like this. I do it on my stereo. You hit the hi-hat real good? Yeah, you've got to get the hi-hat. I've never played the drums. Air guitar. It's just... Get it, Glenn. Every time. This was the air guitar song that I played yesterday.
I love air guitar. We should do an air guitar contest. They have those. M1 air guitar contest. Yeah, they do. Yeah, I saw a documentary on it. That would be good on the radio. That would be good on the radio. Yeah. Oh, wow. They're getting the C chord. I hear some smooshing of fingers. He's like getting the seat horn. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, so when we come back, I am going to play you one of the most amazing pieces of audio you've ever heard. It's real. It's actual audio of a robbery. They're calling it the most polite robbery ever. And I've heard it.
This guy is so nice. Nice. Hello. No, not nice. I mean, he's still a criminal. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. It happened in Seattle. Seattle! Seattle! Go ahead, Tommy. Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! This text message says, Mikey, you ever have a radio show influence the things that you do? Yesterday I got McDonald's, and today I got the Bee Gees and Richard Marks on iTunes. Later today I plan on watching The Matrix. Wow. Thanks, Mikey Show. That's M1 Castile. What's the point of celery? Celery tastes like crunchy water. Delicious. You have to pair it with something. Yes. Yeah, like a pork chop?
No. Peanut butter. No. Ranch. Hot wings. Celery is like tofu. It's like, it doesn't taste like anything. It's got a little bit of a taste and a lot of crunch. Like, if you didn't have that in your tuna salad. Right. Bro, why do they have celery salt? It's got a flavor. It does. Very slight. Just blew your mind. Yeah, you did. Just blew your mind. Just blew your mind. Very slight. Dude, celery is literally one of my favorite foods. Me too. Literally. I will eat. Not figuratively? Figuratively. Unlike that old hackneyed phrase. Oh. Literally. Literally. I love celery. Literally. And by that, I mean, I want to go walking in the canyon. That was very 21-year-old girl of you. 26 minutes. Wow. It is one of my favorites. They say you burn more calories chewing the celery than you do consuming it. Yeah. Tastes like nothing. It's mostly water. Jenna, my stepdaughter, would just eat so much celery by itself. Nothing on it? Nothing on it. I wish I could do that. And when Rooski from downtown, what was the word of the day? Celery. Yeah. Did we say celery?
I'm just kidding. Oh, my God. I was like, LLB? I'm just kidding. We said it a thousand times. You're the one that always misses the word. You just got a four-pack of SeaWorld Fun cards, $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Congratulations, Ruski. You guys all looked at me with, like, genuine concern. Yeah, I was worried about her. Okay, you are going to trip out on this. This is one of the most unusual things I've ever heard. This is a guy robbing a convenience store in Seattle. Seattle. Do me a favor. Yes. Would you empty that till for me, please? Put it right here. What do you mean? Empty the till. Put your bills right here. I'm robbing you, sir. You sure? Yes, I'm sure. Why do you want to do that? Because I need the money. I've got kids that need to be fed, sir. I know. I know. I know I am, sir. I realize that. And I really am sorry to have to do this. But I've got kids. How about if I give you $40 and this is it? Well, I can't do that, sir. I've got rent to pay. I've got bills. And the kids need to eat. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I really am sorry. And if I ever get back on my feet again, sir, I'll bring it back. I'm sorry.
You got to be with you, man. Thank you very much. I'm with you, too. Thank you. Oh, my God. It's sad. I feel awful for him. It's really sad. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I know. I don't feel sorry for him. He's so sorry. He's not normally a criminal. He's not a criminal, dude. You guys are trying to feed his kids. All that kills me. He's trying to feed his kids. You know what kills me? What kills me? He shouldn't be punished. I agree. I agree. He should be a hero. Yeah. He's just a hero. He has a rough go out of it. We should have a day all about him. For him, basically. We should do a charity. We should do a 28-hour show for him. It's a good lesson for criminals to be like, well, maybe if you're polite, you don't have to cause such a scene. That was so sad. What? For the Mikey-thon. Maybe we make that right. He's covering his face so Mikey can't see him. Yeah, because Mikey's burning a hole. Mikey wants to incinerate us with his eyes. Do you know? I don't feel sorry for him. Because he's breaking the law. Because he's a freaking criminal. Here's my thoughts on this guy. I feel bad. Here's my thoughts on this guy. I feel bad. You know who I feel bad for? Who? I feel bad for all the people that have kids that they're trying to feed who are having a rough go of it.
Paying rent. And don't rob convenience stores. I feel bad for all of them. Yeah, me too. I feel bad for everybody. I feel bad for, this guy had like no. He was at the end of his rope. Yeah. Some people don't resort to crime. And those people are respectable. And ripping off a convenience store, albeit politely, is freaking gnarly. And let me tell you something. If that had been my old man that he was robbing, I'd want to kick him in the nuts. What about welfare? What about welfare? Do you think that's wrong? No. You know why? Because it's legal. Yeah. Sometimes people pretend that they can't find a job to stay on welfare. That is apples and oranges. Well, yeah. Welfare is legal. I can't believe the clerk.
Clerk? Is that what you call him? Yeah. Happy birthday, man. He asked him, are you joking? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you freaking kidding me? No, I'm not. I don't think I'm going to say that to someone with a gun. He probably didn't look like a likely criminal. Clearly, he'd never done it before. Was he armed? I don't know. Was he caught? I don't know. I hope so. I hope not. His voice is very identifiable. I hope he wasn't caught. I hope his kid's got a nice meal. I hope his kid's got some food and he got the rent paid. We now live in a freaking culture that when someone commits a crime politely, we applaud it. He sounded like an old man. He needed the help. Well, he had kids. Yeah. He's like Robin Hood. He's like Robin Hood. He's like Robin Hood. Yeah. Exactly. He's Robin Hood. He's Robin Hood. Robin Hood. Robin Hood. Robin Hood. Seattle's Robin Hood. Robin Hood. got one here. He's the Robin Hood of Seattle. Friar Tuck was driving the getaway car. All hail Robin Hood. How dare you. Okay. All right. I found the news story. Now.
There's surveillance video of this guy. He's not wearing a mask. He walked into a gas station shop in Seattle and politely told the store attendant that he was robbing him after paying $1.30 for a cup of coffee. He calmly took out a gun and asked the guy to empty the till. He took out a gun. Why did he sell the gun? It was probably a fake gun. Probably a fake gun. Probably a water gun. The suspect, identified by police as Gregory P. Hess, stole $300 but promised to pay the store tenant back if he ever got back on his phone. It's okay. They caught him. He's going to pay him back. It's like an IOU. That was as good as gold. He was arrested on Monday. An IOU is as good as gold. Did it say if he really had kids like father of? Oh my gosh, he looks like a dad. He looks like a soccer coach. Guys, is it okay to rock? places as long as we're sweet. Poor guy. The clerk was an agent. I think it depends on the place. No, we didn't think he was. I thought he was an Egyptian. Are you freaking kidding? We're looking at the video of him. Are you freaking kidding me? Are you kidding me? Oh my gosh. Does it say if he's really a father of... Does it say if he's really a dad? No, but I'm sure he is. He's not going to lie. I don't know. He's Robin Hood. He's not very good at it.
Did he not think that there would be a camera? Where you freaking go? He was going to bring it back. Happy freaking birthday, man. He was going to bring it back. Yo, yo, I'm sure you'll be back. What if he wrote out a little IOU? Then that's as good as gold. Yeah. M1Wubby is on the line from Bird Rock. Hi, Wubby. Who's going to get it? Who's going to get it? Good morning. How are you? Good morning. Michael. You and I are friends this morning because being in this similar situation, it is never okay to justify robbing and stealing to get your bills paid or feed your kids or anything of that nature. Yes, it's sad. No, it's not okay. It's just sad. It's sad. I'm not saying it's okay. It's just sad. Yeah, I get that it's sad. I get it. Believe me. I understand. But at no point in time have I hit that rock that I've got to be like, you know what? I've got to rob the convenience store. Yeah, what's more sad is the dude that's like not robbing the convenience store. And then you've got to take that food that you know you stole for and look at your kids.
What kind of lesson are you setting up for your kids that you're telling them when times are hard? It's okay as long as you're polite to go in and rob somebody else. Thank you, Whoopi. The person who owns a convenience store, like they're not working hard, like they don't have kids to feed. Thank you, Whoopi. I love you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yes, we were. Not serious. No, bro. You really did feel sorry. Oh, I do feel sorry. But you can't rob someplace. I don't believe in robbery. It was just a sad. It was a very like fly on the wall. You don't expect to hear a robbery go like that. And it was sad. Dude had to make a decision. And his choice was a robber place. He made the wrong decision. Absolutely. People in desperate situations, it's really sad. Don't all rob places. No, they don't all do it, but it was just sad to hear somebody in such desperation who normally probably wouldn't do that resort to such just, I don't know, criminal act. I'll take a leap. I'm going to take a leap. It's a big leap. He's done it before. No, I don't think he's done it before, but I bet he's that guy. And what I mean by that guy is he's full of it.
And he's probably been full of it his whole life. Like, are you sorry for me? Thank you. He's probably been that dude. And this is like the culmination of that dude. Listen, I know that everybody would like to think of this guy as this benevolent little... I don't get that. I see a freaking criminal. Yeah, he was polite about it. He was a criminal. He's a criminal, but... I wonder if he has a record. There's a lot of people in very dire situations. In this economy, it just makes me feel bad for him. Yeah, it makes me feel bad, too. M1EE from San Diego. Yeah, you just have to be out of the record. He actually does. He does? Yeah. CBSnews.com, he's hit five banks and a video store in the Seattle area. I don't feel bad for him anymore. I don't feel bad for him anymore. In six years? Well, he was sentenced to six years. He just got out a few years ago. Wow. Thank you for the call. Absolutely. For the dirt bag. I don't feel bad for him anymore. I don't either. That was his bit. That was just his bit. You know how we have the geezer bandit? The polite bandit. Yeah. The nice bandit. Want to be Robin Hood. You're not Robin Hood. You're a jackhole. Yeah. How dare you make us feel like you were Robin Hood. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. PJ Harvey. Garrett. Album is dry. Hey, Mike. Yeah. Who's filling in for Hillary today? Garrett.
Who's our program director, Mike? Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, Garrett. Calm down, Garrett. Calm down, G-Money. Jeez. Garrett. Rooster killed a guy at a cockfight. This is not the beginning of a joke. So this guy goes into a cockfight. No, yeah, this guy walks into a bar. Here in California, this guy goes to attend a cockfight, which is illegal. What, what, what? Cockfights? In America? No. No. It's illegal. I said illegal. Oh, I thought you said legal. Oh, no. I'm sorry. She said it's illegal, and you thought she was going to say a legal event. Oh, no. It's illegal. Yeah. Yeah. But it is a sport, and some people do it, obviously. Is it a sport? Yeah, that's what they're saying. It's not a sport. It's a sport like NASCAR is a sport. It's a sport. Cockfighting is a sport. Illegal in the United States. It's a bad, awful.
you know, thing that people do. I saw a live one in Hawaii. You did? Outside of my hotel. I was like, cool, I'm leaving tonight. Do you know how it works? Yeah. They tie blades to the roosters. Talons. That's awesome. Yeah, the roosters are bred for this. They're put into a ring and encouraged to fight, you know, to kill the other bird. And a guy from California, he was attending one of these, and he died after he was stabbed in the leg by the knife that was attached to the bird. It got him in the calf, and it was like some crazy injury, sharp force injury is what they said killed him because it hit like a certain tendon. Oh, my God. It probably hit an artery. Artery, yeah. Oh, but yeah, he died from this. But yet another reason not to attend the cockfight. Yes. I don't know where Tulare County is. That's where it is. It's right above one layer county. T-U-L-A-R-E. Tulare. Tulare County. Oh, Jeremy's filling in. Hi, Jeremy. They're splitting. Oh, Garrett is not filling in? Mikey, who's not filling in? Who's not filling in? Garrett!
Jeremy. Jeremy, what's... I want him to do his crickets. His crickets? You haven't heard this? His crickets. You haven't heard his crickets? Listen. Weird. Wow. He does this with his mouth. It's amazing. That's great. It is amazing. Will you teach me so I can do it on the air? You want to try it right now? Yeah. Can you whistle through your teeth? Whistle through your teeth and buzz your bottom lip like... How did you discover this talent? It's a misspent in a bowling alley. There you go. misspent youth in a bowling alley. Oh, wow, there you go. I actually met some crazy old dude who taught me how to do it. Did you fill in for Hillary yesterday? Yes. And today you're filling in for her again. I'm going to split it up with Garrett. I got, since, you know, I'm music director and all, I have to take music calls this afternoon. Yeah. Big time loss, pal. All right. Let me tell you right now, I'm a very important person. I do a lot of things. In fact, if you don't know, I'm star performer. Okay. Yes. Gary. Jeremy Pritchard, MD. That's right. That's right. MD, assistant engineer, janitor on air.
talent. Anything else you need? Unbelievable. Does it all. Good man. Well, there you go. So, you're splitting time with Garrett today. Garrett. All right, cool. Let me tell you, back when I was in Philly. In Philly. You know, when we made fun of our program director, we got fired. In fact, I fired Tommy once for doing it, too. But then I hired him back. I hired him back. And then I fired him again. And then I hired him back. And then I fired him and hired him. I brought him here. I might fire him again. In fact, Woods, you're fired. You're fired. I'll slit your throat. I'll hire you back tomorrow. Sienna's got the 15 toughest interview questions and answers. I don't know if we have time for all 15, but what do you give me some? Okay, well, you're in an interview for a job and they say, why do you want to work in this industry? What do you say? Because I love it. No. You don't say that? Don't just say you like it is the first thing you say. Because I like it. Because I like it. It says, good answer. I've always loved... I think this is an example. I've always loved shopping, but my interest in retail marketing really started when I worked at a neighborhood boutique. I knew that our clothes were amazing. You have to just go on. You got to sell it, pal. Yeah. Okay. Sell it. I like it. All right. I like it. When they say, so tell us about yourself. What do you say? Your professional experience. I'm 40. I'm 40. Talk about your best achievements professionally. Tell me about yourself. It's such an open.
You're supposed to tell them personal stuff? It says bad answer. I graduated four years ago from the University of Michigan with a bachelor's in biology. Personal. Good answer. I'm really energetic. I'm a great communicator. Working in sales for two years helped me build confidence and taught me the importance of customer loyalty. I'm a team player. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of your previous boss? He's a turd. Total turd. You guys are a big, fat turd. You'll be great. If you're not, I'll say you're a turd. At my next interview. Which should be at about noon today. Obviously, you don't want to say anything bad about your old boss. You want to say something like, my last boss taught me the importance of time management, didn't pull any punches, and was extremely deadline-driven. Basically, you're supposed to lie. My last boss was pretty blonde and talked like that. Why are you leaving your current job? Well, I wasn't. I walked into the office and I had no idea and they formed a new show. I thought you were interviewing me. He's being honest. Are you supposed to be honest? Live in the truth. It says bad answer. Something like I can't say my boss or the work that I was doing. Good answer. I've learned a lot from my current role, but now I'm looking for a new challenge to broaden my horizons. Blah, blah, blah.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Here. In your bedroom. In your boudoir. It's the worst answer you can give is doing your job. It's the worst. In a management position with this company. Right. You want to say, in five years, I'd like to have an even better understanding of this industry. Yep. Great. What's your greatest weakness? Oh, that's a tough one. I don't ever know what to say. You know what it is? I fart uncontrollably. What? What? You know the answer when I used to interview, because I interviewed. I went too hard. Yeah, I've interviewed probably about a thousand people. And every one of them was like, you know, man, sometimes I just care too much. You know, I work too hard. I really need to have that work-life balance. Yeah, you're a dork. You're lying, first of all. And you're a dork. It just makes me laugh. When they say, what's your greatest weakness? Bad answer, I work too hard. Or they say the comedian would go, blondes. What's your weakness? Blondes. A good answer would be something like, Jeremy, is that you? Yes. Oh, my God. Okay. A good answer would be, I've never been really comfortable public speaking, which, as you know, can be hard to do. But I realized the problem, and I've taken a speech workshop. Yeah. Something like that. Like, here's the problem, and I've already fixed it. Basically, they encourage you to lie. My biggest problem, I would have to say, is murder. I bought a book.
And I'm not murdering anymore. Well, they want you to be honest and say what your weakness is, but at least be willing to work on it. I have a class canned answer that I used at every interview. It's time management. I like to focus a lot of my energies into the project that I'm working on, and I want to give it my full attention. That's my problem, is it's hard sometimes to balance other things. I'd be the worst. I'd tell the truth. I usually would just tell the truth. I'd be the worst. But I'd try to find very... Precise wording. I asked LOB, I asked you what your biggest weakness was. And what did I say? You said, if I think about it, I'll remember. I think I said high expectations because I expect people to do what I would do. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you end up resenting people because you have to put, you can't always think that they're going to do what you're going to do. Right. It's a hard thing to do. Is that it? Yeah. No, there's a lot more. They're good. Oh, well, let me hear a couple. What salary are you looking for?
A million dollars. No, you don't want to say. A million thousand. A bad answer would be my last. You make up a number, you're like a jillion to a billion. A jillion to a billion. You want to say something like, I'm more interested in the role itself than the pay. With that said, I'd expect to be paid the appropriate range for this role based on my experience. I also want to bear in mind the high cost of living here in San Diego or wherever you are. I'd always give like five more than what you really want. Yeah. Set it high. Yeah. Why should I hire you? The best. Why shouldn't you hire me? Those are not good answers. I'm good with my hands. Don't say I'm the best candidate for the job or the role. I put my hands on it. You want to say something like, I've been an executive assistant for the past 10 years. My boss has said time and time again that without me, the organization would fall apart. Blah, blah, blah. I work. You get it? I'm a hard worker. I work real. This is a hard situation. Please watch closely as I use my lips. It doesn't make works for me. It makes sense to me. Did you hear what she said? Did you hear that? Did you hear the word? Favorite flowers, tulips. Love tulips. All right, well. Jeremy, what do you got coming up, Jeremy?
That was a transition. I went to dig into the new Social D album, which is FM 94.9 Recommended. I also brought the Conehead soundtrack. I'm going to play something like that. And sometime this afternoon, I'm going to get the new Stroke single, Under the Cover of Darkness. That's coming up. I want to hear it. Handsome and talented Jeremy is up next. Very handsome. Very talented. Winger tag. Enjoy. Thanks, Jay. No problem. I think Mikey's done. Wrap him up. Wrap him up. That's always a good thing to do. That's what I do.