The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/08/12
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
live television crossovercelebrity gossipSuper Bowl falloutradio gamesValentine's flowersmetal karaokebarbed wire accidentsprank comedyDUI jail storyNFL conspiracymikeyshowsandiego
Megan from NBC San Diego joined Mikey, Steve Woods, Lauren, and Jay for a technically chaotic live television crossover, while the crew riffed on Beyonce's post-baby appearance and a 15-pound newborn. Woods won a wedding-song game but was relentlessly mocked for imagining a celebrity DMV and for declaring that Gerber daisies are pretty; Fruitcake then delivered metal karaoke, and callers shared increasingly brutal barbed-wire stories. Mikey defended juvenile Jackass and golf-prank humor, while Woods described the 20 days he served after a second DUI and said the experience convinced him never to drink and drive again. The sharper arguments concerned whether Gisele Bundchen unfairly blamed the Patriots' receivers for Tom Brady's loss and whether an NFL conspiracy involving Roger Goodell, referees, Aaron Rodgers, and Tim Tebow was remotely plausible.
What happened, in order
The Afrin Alley
Mikey turns disappointment over not needing his new nasal spray into a mock story about becoming an Afrin addict hunting for counterfeit brands behind a CVS.
Live TV Audio Chaos
Megan, photographer Mark, and the radio crew struggle in real time to stop the NBC audio feed from echoing and garbling their microphones before a live television hit.
Beyonce and the Giant Baby
The hosts credit trainers for Beyonce's fast post-baby rebound, mention the rumor that her pregnancy was a hoax, and pivot to jokes about a 15-pound baby born in China.
Gisele Blames the Receivers
The crew debates Gisele Bundchen's complaint that Tom Brady could not throw and catch the ball himself, while Brandon Jacobs argues that she should stay quiet.
Wedding Song Showdown
Mikey, Woods, and Lauren play a chaotic wedding-song edition of Name That Tune with expensive buzzers, disputed points, and Woods ultimately winning on Depeche Mode's Somebody.
Celebrity DMV
After a miserable DMV visit, Woods wonders whether Lady Gaga, Tom Cruise, and Madonna use a secret celebrity office, prompting everyone to mock him as if he wanted VIP treatment too.
Gerber Daisies Are Pretty
Woods casually but emphatically says Gerber daisies are pretty, and Mikey, Lauren, and Jay instantly turn the sincere remark into a clip they promise to replay forever.
Fruitcake Sings Metal
Recurring caller Fruitcake performs breathless a cappella versions of Megadeth and Rush songs, complete with instrumental noises and repeated insertions of Mikey's name.
Barbed-Wire Horror Stories
Woods recalls tangling a four-wheeler in hidden barbed wire, then callers escalate the bit with crashes, an electric fence, concertina wire, torn clothing, and emergency rescues.
Jackass and Golf Etiquette
Mikey praises the first Jackass movie's toilet and golf-course pranks and argues that startling overly serious golfers during their backswing is irresistibly funny.
Woods Goes to Jail
Woods recounts serving 20 days in a Texas jail after his second DUI, describing intake, communal living, Jamie's visits, and an inmate chasing him on his final day.
Was the NFL Rigged?
The group stress-tests a Super Bowl conspiracy theory, arguing over whether Roger Goodell, referees, or stars such as Aaron Rodgers would have to manipulate games while Tim Tebow complicates the claim.
People mentioned
MikeySteve WoodsLaurenJayMeganMarkBeyonceGisele BundchenTom BradyBrandon JacobsLady GagaTom CruiseMadonnaFruitcake
35,962 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I love when Megan's back. It's good. Pull that microphone up. There you go. There you go. Megan is in here with us from NBC San Diego. Oh, I didn't realize that actually. I heard my voice in my ears, but I didn't know. Yes, hi. It's good to be here. I told her just a few minutes ago, the reason that it's hard to tell when we're on the air is because it's radio so different than television. It's normal, very relaxed, and people will go, how do you do four hours? Because you're just talking. You're not doing anything special. We don't do anything special. I disagree. You guys talk for a long time. It's hard to think of things to say. But, you know, all we do is we have friendly conversation. We just talk to you like we're talking normal. And so that's easy. That's the easy stuff. You know, if we had to do it and be grownups about it, forget it.
There's no way. Would you be actually knowledgeable on something? Yeah. If we had to know what we were talking about, we couldn't do it. Forget it. Are we more uptight, TV people? Well, TV people, you have to know what you're talking about. They're just more well-versed. Is that what it is? A, you have to know what you're talking about. B, you can't say anything that's offensive. And C, you have to be on your game. We don't. No. We don't have to know what we're talking about. It's actually better if we're maybe a little loopy. Yeah. You know, if we're loopy and like on cough medicine, that's a funnier show. Yesterday, it was that way. Yeah. I, again, am on the Advil cold and sinus. And anything that you have to take a little plaque, a little cardboard card up to the pharmacist to give you the medicine, if you're taking anything like that, it's going to make you loopy on the air. And I'm taking that. Nice. Yeah. If you can't just pull it right off the shelf and you got to take it to the guy and go, here, I want this. You're going to be loopy that day. That's what I'm taking. Advocold and sinus. But it really does. It helps. I was bummed yesterday, too, because I go to the CVS and I got.
Afrin, okay? Now that's the stuff you spray in your nose to clear out your sinuses. And I got home, everything was clear. I was so disappointed. You wanted it. I know what you mean. Yeah, I was like, I couldn't wait to get home and clear my nasal passages. And they were clear. I was like, this sucks. Well, you know that stuff's... I felt gypped. I felt like disappointed. I felt like a kid that just got new reflective things for... New reflectors for my bike. My bike's got reflectors already. I'm like... Stuff's very addictive. Yeah. Great. Be careful, pal. Yeah, well... You'll be on an Afrin kick. I'll find you in the back of an alley behind... Trying to buy Afrin. Yeah, behind a CVS waiting for them to throw out old Afrin. There's no doubt. That is a 100% true fact. If I can get addicted to it, I know I would. There's no question. I need you to go get me some Nafrin. Here's 40 bucks. Keep the change. Yeah. People, the guy would answer the phone. He'd be like, Mikey, I told you. I'm like, dude, I want Panda. Give me anything. Whatever you got. Give me the, what was the other one? The Gooch? Yeah. Whatever you call it. Give me Nafrin. I don't care. Give me Nafrin. Give me Saffrin. Give me whatever. Fine. I'll give you Saffrin. But it's.
What that is is an herb to make rice taste better. I'll take it. I'll take it. I don't care what it is. So if you want to see us on television, you can turn on NBC739. Yes, NBC7 San Diego. NBC7 San Diego. Yeah, we recently changed the name. That's okay. I don't know if everyone knew. I did not know. Turn us on and we'll be on television pretty soon. All kinds of stuff for us to talk about. Why does Madonna hate San Diego? She ain't coming here. She announced their world tour. Yeah, listen to this. October 6th, San Jose. October 10th, LA. October 13th, Las Vegas. October 16th, Phoenix. Well, maybe she left. It sounds like there's a little bit of a gap in between some of those shows. Maybe she hasn't been able to book a place yet. Yeah, maybe she'll add them. Very smart of her to do that right after her Super Bowl. Oh, so smart. Oh, yeah.
Well, it was all in conjunction with an album, a tour. You know, it all makes sense. By the way, her and her Super Bowl appearance was a real big deal. Yeah. It was the most watched ever. A hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and a hundred and Finally. You're probably not old enough to remember MASH. Well, I knew that MASH didn't MASH really rate well. That was like the one everyone was judging it on. Yes. The last episode of MASH was the biggest deal in television history. So I'm tired of hearing about MASH. I saw it. I didn't like MASH. This is an awful little boy. I used to watch Three's Company. Oh, yeah. Can I get that in here really quickly? Sorry, I know. But we're going to have a tease coming up. Oh. No tease. Never mind. No tease. Let's see what this sounds like. Hang on. Do you need to hear us? Alumina is a genetic testing company. You don't want me to turn that on? No, that's all fair. Okay. How about this? I don't know what that means. Is this okay? Does that work? Alumina is a genetic testing company. No, so don't do that and also don't do this. I'll get a check on your weather forecast. I can't do either one? Wow. Both of them will mess you up? Oh, no. Okay. Hi. This works, but there's no TV. We can't hear the TV. Yeah, and here's my question to you. It's okay that we're on the air.
It's all right, because it's early. We're confused. We're nervous. He's all freaked out because he's like... This is our photographer, Mark, by the way. He's like, you're doing this on the radio? We need to cut. Should we cut? It's a very difficult freeway interchange. That's right. Let me ask you, Mark. Can I do this? But the clouds around it are kind of... Okay, can I do this? I'll say that we can't catch a sprinkle. As we look at... Can't do either one of those. No, that's fine right there. Oh, that was okay. This is okay. No, nothing. You talking. So doing nothing, putting nothing up is the best idea. Oh, maybe we could have, did you call one time? That sounds great right there, but can you hear off air? No, we can't hear off air. I can't hear the off air. So let me ask you one more time. Tell me if this is not good. Talk about your extended forecast. Not good. What about this? 10 o'clock hour, and there are... Wow. Did you call last time? You may have called the number. We called into this number. We hooked up. Everything was fine. Yeah, I remember that. Last time they didn't take a feed from our house sound over there. I don't know how they got the sound in there. Megan, when I turn this up like that, does it screw you up? No, it doesn't screw me up. Because if your cameraman gets screwed up, I don't care.
But if you get screwed up, I care. Fuzzy focus now. But if you get screwed up, I care. As long as you're fine and we're fine, I'm okay. We're okay with this. Yeah, well, I think what... Say what? Okay. See, this is what I guess we do. This is behind the scenes, I guess, for television. But you'll be able to watch, hopefully, coming up in like three minutes. I think we're going live. Here? Okay. I'm optimistic we'll figure this out. I think we're going to figure this out. It's too bad because when we do this, I can hear them. Right. And it's okay and you can hear them and that works. So why is that bad? What's that? So what does that mean? What does that mean then? Separate it. Does that mean like if we have that on during the live hit, we'll be able to hear kickback in our ears? Is that the problem? Oh. So we'll be able to hear ourselves in like an echo. In a delay. In a delay. Can we try this? Can we try it? And if we do, as soon as it starts to mess you up, go like this and I'll turn it off. Yeah, that works. If you won't hear it, I will hear it. Okay. But why does that matter? I wonder if Tiki or audio person... Respectfully, why does that matter? Well, we want clean microphones coming from everybody. Yeah. And then if you were to go up with the off-air into the microphone, that's just going to feed down the microphone line and it's just going to be garbled. On television? On television. Oh. On television? Oh, I didn't know this.
This is you guys. This is your microphones right here. Okay. Which we need to keep separated from. Got it. Got it. Got it. Well, if you want to see all this, just turn it on right now. Turn on Channel 7, NBC7, San Diego, and you can see all this going on. So Jason and Marianne can't talk to Mikey. Oh, what a fuck. Jay? We need somebody smarter than us. I know. Yeah, I know all your nicknames. Jay Bird. Do you guys call it? That's what your nickname is on the show? Creep. Creep. Old creeper. Sex pervert. You can do that one. Crumpled up wiener. Yeah, that's another one. Shriveled wiener, you can do that. Yeah, we do that one a lot. A thin dong, I call him. Yeah. At least I can see mine. Long balls, you called him? JP Long balls. JP Long balls. Remember the last time you saw yours? It's been a while. JP Long balls. JP Long balls. It's been so long. He's furious. He doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of such a beautiful woman. Hey, Mac, listen. Two beautiful women. I'm going to tell you something, Mac. If you make fun of me in front of Megan, I'm just going to tell you right now, it's going to be worse for you than it usually is. And you know how bad. Now, that's me imitating Jay. I'm going to kill you. Hey, look, if you make fun of me in front of Megan, Megan Traveller isn't. Traveller isn't. Traveller isn't. I'm going to slit.
That Mexican throat. I almost slit it. I'll play in your blood, Mike. I don't even care. I'll do cannonballs into it. You know the Colombian necktie? I might get a Mexican necktie. For you. Just for you, Mike. Just for you. Oh, I think we're going on television. Are we going on TV? No, this is not it. Oh, okay. I think this is the one we're supposed to look at. Okay, so 549. All right. Four minutes. All right, so really quickly, we're talking about Baby Bump, or no. Post baby Beyonce body. She looks great. Saw that photo of her. And then we're talking about the Chinese baby. The big Chinese baby. The big Chinese baby. 15 pound baby. The big baby. Possibly the biggest baby ever delivered. Of all time. I can't believe it only took 20. What did you say? It wasn't me. It was Mikey. See what I mean? He constantly makes fun of my weight. And that's why I was doing an imitation of him earlier saying, Mike. If you make fun of me in front of Megan Traverson, I'm telling you right now, all the ribbon that I give you, it's going to get worse, man. I mean, it's bad now, but it's going to get worse. I didn't know he had an accent like that. Oh, yeah, he does. He doesn't. He's a little Southern boy. Y'all shut up in there. Gosh, man, you know I'm Super J. You know I'm supposed to only be thought of as Super J. When she's in here, you're supposed to say things like,
Wow, Jay, your abs look tight today. Thank you, Mikey. Jay, you are such a good dad. Thank you. Oh, my gosh, Jay. You can make love forever and ever and ever to your wife. In fact, your wife is begging for it when you get home. She says, oh, Jay, where you been? Thank you. Finally, you're getting it. Man, Mike. Just think of your life. I love the sound effects. It must have taken a while to accumulate all of those. It has. Years, right? It has. And Jay, when Jay joined the Mikey Show, he started to do some of the sound effects, too. So he will make fun of me using sound effects, and I don't have control over it. Nice beaver. Like that. He'll do that. That's fun. And I don't have any control over that. I can't stop him from doing it, and he will do that from time to time. The cool thing is, is that I have... Sound effects, too. Yes. And two can play at that game. You guys sound off sometimes. Yeah, sometimes they do sound off. Yeah. You know, sometimes after a story, so our show runs from 5 to 7, so we're finished with a story, and we're driving back, and I listen to you guys, and we're always laughing. That's awesome. Good. Because that's usually when you get kind of tired, waking up really early. Oh, yeah. After the show, around 7.30. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you said that, actually. I'm glad you said that. Thank you for saying that. Because you know what it is? You know what it points out?
is that she does, Megan will go and she'll do all like a radio tour, and you'll go on a radio tour, but you'll like it. us. You listen to us. Yes, I do. That makes me feel good. I really do. We listen to the photographers. We kind of, depends who I'm working with, and we just turn the radio and listen to you guys. Spencer, he likes us. Spencer. Spencer's the man. Spencer likes you, and who else? Monica Dean. Oh, Monica. She's on maternity leave. Sweetheart. Did someone just see Monica lately? I did. Maybe that's what it was. I saw her. She's so sweet. She talked about you. I was nervous to go introduce myself to her, and she's like, oh, you should have. She's so sweet. She's so nice. She's like one of the sweetest. She is. a reporter at NBC has a crush on you. Really? Yes. On L.O.B.? Just Gene Cubbison. I'll just say his name on the radio. It's no big deal. Gene Cubbison has it. He thinks you're very cute. She's red. She's blushing. He watched last time and he was like, who's that? We sit next to each other. She's a dime. I'm telling you, that L.O.B. gets so many dudes. You know what she hates? And guess what? Guess what she's going to be doing?
L.O.B. is going to be dancing at the House of Blues in front of an entire audience of adoring fans that come out to see. February 17th, it's a Friday morning. We're going to do a live broadcast. And L.O.B. will be dancing with 10 other guys. Or 10 other girls, sorry. Maybe my crushes can come out. That's right. In droves. Maybe Cubison comes out. Cubison. I'm going to have to look this guy up. Hangs out a little bit. I hope he doesn't mind that I just said his name. I'm sure he doesn't. I'm sure he loves it. Well, he better, because it just happens. If he loves it, he better put a ring on it. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Maybe he asks you out on a date or something like that. I'm in a relationship, Mike. That's right. It's going to have to be a one-nighter. Clever. Well said. Oh, boy. Thank you. Talking to Jay about this Mike stuff, so he wasn't really paying attention. I heard. I'm going to call. I'm calling the number now. That's his normal speed, Megan. I hope this works. Yeah, that is his normal speed. L.O.B., you're getting on my list over here. Hey, you know what, girl? I can start talking about the fact that you're 31 and not married. He just throws out that I'm going to have a one-night stand, and I'm on his list. NBC reporter. I told you, Megan Traverner just comes in. Don't say anything negative about me. Not one thing. I wore my damn button down today, y'all.
You guys look good. Yeah. You guys do not like. Or my Sunday best. You can be on TV. Well, you are going to be on TV in about a minute. We don't normally look like this. Yeah, right. Really? I put my face on in the bathroom. That's what I did too. I'm so much more massive in person. It's so great. It's so wonderful. My dad watches and he'll say things. I'll say, oh, you looked really wide today or something like that. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. My dad, local guy. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy, Megan? Usually not positive. Jay is actually old enough to be your dad. That's true. That is actually a true story. Okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Really cool. In fact, Jay probably has daughters younger than me. She's going to sit on daddy's lap. Oh, wow. That got really... It's offensive and weird, and we have a guest. Okay, thanks, David. There's a guest here. Yeah, we have a guest here. There's a guest that made us cookies. Yes. Ooh, I made you guys cookies. I forgot. Go to your TVs. What? Oh, wait. Go to your TVs. Oh, yeah, tell everyone to turn on the TV. Go to your TVs. You'll be on TV in about 30 seconds. Cool. NBC7 San Diego. Yes, perfect. Megan. Do you guys want the cookies now? Question. Oh, yeah. Did you really make those cookies? Of course I did. Here, do you want to show you a photo? I've said this. She's the most...
eligible bachelor for an LLB. Well, not LLB because she's got a boyfriend. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, God. You did that? Yes, I did. Last night. I kind of stayed up late because I have a small baking tray. She's so sweet. Here we go. Here we go. Hey, Marianne and Jason. Yes, we're having a little audio issue. So we're having too much fun here, actually, live on the radio show right now. Say hi, everybody. Hi, guys. They are now going live at 530. This is a new thing since last time I was at the Mikey show. Yeah, well, we found out that there's a lot of people that are listening and up at this time. So it's a good deal. We have a lot of fans over at our station, too. All right. We were talking about or we want to talk about. Beyonce's post-baby body. She looks pretty good. There's a photo of her out in New York. She's wearing this kind of salmon-colored dress. She looks pretty good. What do you guys think? Oh, she looks great. Well, and I don't know what the big deal is. I looked that good after my first baby. She's got a trainer. When do you do now? Is that twins? That was Jay. That was Jay.
This is how they are throughout the morning. We're learning. That's what he does. Very fun. He makes fun of me. He makes fun of everybody. He was very shy last time you guys were here. What? This is a new leaf. Well, we've been here a couple times, so maybe we're getting used to each other. The reason that Beyonce looks that good is because probably trainers. She's probably got a lot of trainers on hand that help her with that kind of thing, and that's a pretty cool thing to be able to have that available. Well, a lot of people have a theory that she didn't even have a baby at all. That it's all just one big hoax. Well, hey, after three weeks of being a mother, who doesn't need a night out on the town in the 40-40 club? Exactly. After three weeks, really? Yeah, just go have a ball. Is there something wrong with that? Speaking of mothers. Isn't there? There was a mother in China who just gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Could have been the largest baby ever. Could have been. Could have been. You know what they say. Oh, jeez. He looked at me. Second place behind Mikey. Well, they say actually the bigger the baby, a lot of times a big baby grows up to be thin and a smaller baby grows up to be big, which by that Jay's logic, I should have weighed two ounces at birth. Yes. But that does happen sometimes. You know, a small baby grows up to be a big guy and a little baby grows up to be a...
Well, then I guess there's going to be a very skinny person in China in a couple of days, right? Yeah, yeah. All right, Marianne and Jason, we're hanging out here at the Mikey Show all morning. More coming up later in the show. Back to you. Is that it? No, we're still on, I think. I think we're not on. Are we still on? Yeah. Oh, we are. Oh, are we on? Hi. Jason's talking to us. Okay, Jason's bringing up, he thinks you're right about your theory about baby weight. Yeah, it happens. I mean, when I was born, I think I weighed one and a quarter pounds, or that was when I was on Star Search, and it was one and a quarter stars. That was the burger you had. That was the quarter pounder. That was what it was. That was what it was. Well, if you want more to this conversation, tune in to 94.9. We'll be here all morning. I'm Mary Ann Jason. Back to you. Hey, you guys are great. I didn't know we were still on. I wish you guys could hear them. I always say the wrong thing. Why? Well, because I said L.O.B. is an eligible...
Person. I didn't mean it in a bad way. You know, I mean, but she's got a boyfriend, so that's not really appropriate to say she's eligible. If she were single. If she were single. She would be one of the most eligible bachelorettes. Yes. In San Diego. Yes. You're funny, you're cool, and you're good looking. Yes. But eligible means you're. Got a boyfriend. Yeah, I said if you were single. No, eligible means you're available. You're available. Yeah, I said if you were single. She's not available. But wouldn't that just be a bachelorette? Wait. She's not available. She's not. No. Lest. You think she is. She's not. Lest you come down on February 17th when she's going to be doing a pussycat doll dance at the House of Blues in a live broadcast that we're going to be doing. Are you serious? Oh, yeah. With 10 other girls. Is this like a bet or something? This was some sort of thought process, like thinking out loud on the air. This is the trouble you get into sometimes. And I was saying, I do a lot of like in my apartment when I clean, I listen to music and I dance around and I was like, you know what? I still, you know, I can still pull it off. I don't have very much time left, but I could probably do it. And, yeah, we kind of thought it up out loud and had these girls come out and audition. Yeah. It's a huge bunch of listening. It's the Michael Wish Foundation. Yeah, it's the Michael Wish Foundation. She wanted to do it, and Mike made it happen. Well, here's the thing, too. You know, Ella B. feels like her window of being able to do that and it still be appropriate. She feels that that window is quickly closing. I feel like I'm getting creepy.
Because I'm getting older. You're not getting older. Megan, everybody's getting older. Eventually, we all get older. Everybody's getting older. It's just a process. Those are the rules. So she feels that if she gets any older and does a pussycat doll dance, it's creepy. So she wants to do it right now, get it over with, and then she feels she'll have had that good time. At 31, she's in her prime right now. I got to see some of the costume yesterday. Really? Well, she was going through the... Magazine? Wow. He walked in. He goes, what's that? What's that? You can't see anything like six inches in front of him. And the guy saw it from six feet away. He was like, what's that? He Hawkeye'd it from the other room. Good for you. That's kind of. I was actually, I was just looking at a pair of fishnets. And that's not all we're wearing. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I can't wait for this. It's going to be pretty incredible. February 17th, everybody is welcome to come down and take part. When we come back, what does San Diego rank in terms of a dating city? You might get to see a part of the Titanic here in San Diego. And, oh, what about the weather? Is it going to get colder or warmer? We'll tell you. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9.
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This couple was renovating their kitchen and learned they had termites. I went over and did an inspection and made a custom plan for the whole house. I went back last week to check up. Termites are gone. Kitchen looks nice, too. Orkin Man! No one is better trained at keeping pests in their place. Call 1-800-GO-ORKIN for a free inspection today. If you've ever wanted to design your own ring, there's only one place to go. At Jared the Galleria of Jewelry, it's easy to create a ring that's yours and yours alone. First, choose from hundreds of beautiful settings. Then select from thousands of certified diamonds, including the Peerless Diamond, the Ideal Ideal Cut Diamond, and the spectacular Leo Artisan, both exclusively at Jared. Find a Jared store or shop anytime at Jared.com. Hey, Supercross fans. Join me, Jay, from the Mike Show this Friday, February 10th from 6 to 8 at the Escondido Cycle Center for their annual San Diego Supercross kickoff party. Stop by to meet and get autographs from all your favorite Honda Supercross stars like Chad Reed, Andrew Short, Kevin Winham.
Justin Baton, Cole Seeley, Travis Baker, and Eli Tomac. Plus, I'll hook you up with a ton of prizes from FM949 and Escondido Cycle Center. Get there early to take advantage of unbeatable deals on Honda motorcycles and genuine Honda gear. Escondido Cycle Center has been family-owned and operated for over 20 years, so when you're investing in your next Honda motorcycle, make sure you see the pros at Escondido Cycle Center to get hooked up. So remember to join me at Escondido Cycle Center this Friday, February 10th from 6 to 8 for their annual San Diego Supercross kickoff party located at 1415 Montel Road in Escondido. Take the Nordahl exit off Highway 78 and the 15. Check them out on Facebook or online at EscondidoCycleCenter.com. This is Toyota Today. Legendary quality, unsurpassed reliability, and superior value. Now get zero APR on a new 2011 Prius with its 50 MPG. Get zero APR on a luxurious Avalon, versatile Highlander, or sporty RAV4. There's even zero APR on a tough 2012 Tundra or a stylish 2012 Corolla. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer and save thousands with 0% financing on many of Toyota's best-selling models. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only.
2012 EPA estimated mileage. Actual mileage will vary. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealer stock by midnight March 5th. Offer excludes Prius V and Highlander Hybrid. This report is brought to you by CBS 8. Women take on the ultimate question, why do men cheat? A candid talk on Anderson today at 4 on CBS 8, followed by News 8 at 5. Well, it looks like we've got a little slowing here on the 905 eastbound corporate center drive to Cactus Road. That's about 34 miles an hour. Heading up towards El Cajon, the 54 southbound at the 8 connector, 22 miles an hour. This report brought to you by the 99 cents only stores. 99 cents only stores makes it easy to say something special this Valentine's Day. Pick up box chocolates, fragrances, picture frames, a whole lot more for only 99.99 cents each. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. This is The Mikey Show. All right. Let's start with Mikey. I don't trust anybody who has a P.O. box. Woods. It's against my will. Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. Megan.
From NBC San Diego is in the studio with us. Good morning. And hanging out. And we're going to be on television, too. We already were. And are we going to do another one or not? Yes, we're doing another one. We will do another one. Yes, around 615. Awesome. And the T's, hopefully. Nice. Yeah. All right. So some of the big things to talk about out of the gate. First of all, I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41. Woodsy's 36. He's our sports guy. LOB is... She's our assistant producer, and she is 31. Jay is 48 years old. He's our executive producer. And our phone screener is Adam, who's filling in, screening our phones for us. So very nice to have Adam around. And should be fun for Jay, because that means they could play ping pong during breaks. Absolutely. Discuss strategy for Call of Doodoo that they play. That's right. They're a big Call of Doodoo. Duty. Yes. Duty. Call of duty. Call of duty. And so they can do that. Call it duty. They can play grab ass. Yeah, play grab ass all day. Whatever they want to do. By the way, the word of the day is novel. So when you hear me say the word novel between now and nine, call her nine. I'll give you a pair of flights to Mammoth Mountain. Also, $75 gift code to proflowers.com. We got Valentine's Day gift code. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's a gift code. What did I say? It's a promo code. It's a gift code.
It's a gift card. No, it's a gift code. You type in the code. Excuse me. Yeah, and it'll give you the flowers. It's really cool. Don't forget, if you do go to Pro Flowers, go to the little microphone and type in Mikey Show, and you can get specials and stuff. But we will hook you up with that and qualify you to go have dinner for two at the Palm Downtown, which is a nice restaurant. Oh, yeah. Don't forget, we were talking about it a minute ago, but... Our big live broadcast is going to happen Friday, February 17th, downtown House of Blues. Lauren dancing like a pussycat doll, and it's going to be pretty awesome. Yeah, I've been practicing. We got all of our orders from our choreographer today. Very nice. Very nice. Woodsy, tell me about... The world champion Giants. The world champion New York Giants celebrated their Super Bowl title yesterday with a giant parade through the Canyon of Heroes in lower Manhattan. There were thousands of people. Did you see the picture? Did you see any screenshots of it? It was insane. So they were celebrating their victory over the Patriots 21 to 17 on Sunday. And I thought this was very interesting. Somebody had asked Brandon Jacobs, who's the Giants running back.
Hey, what did you think about those comments that Gisele Bungeon, Tom Brady's wife, made about the wide receivers for the Patriots? If you didn't hear, her quote was, my husband cannot effing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times. Brandon Jacobs, who is a guy that tells it like it is, says, look. She just needs to continue to be cute and shut up. Oh, wow. Oh, mama. I thought it was a little harsh. I thought it was a little harsh. Minus the little. Yeah. I thought it was a little harsh. It's just a wife, man. Yeah, you can't see that. I mean, she's going to say, I have no problems with what she said. It's a man's wife. And by the way, she didn't say it in an interview form. Right. She didn't scream it. She said it because she was talking and it happened to be caught on video. Another, this is kind of- Hang on, hang on. Are we going- Live right now or no? Great question. We are in about a minute and a half. Minute and a half? We're trying to get the off air on our headset. All right. Lines up. Let me turn this up. Oh, good. And see if we can hear anything. We cannot. Jay, and you've got everything turned on in there, right? Everything's turned on. Trust me. Dang it. What is going on? Well, I thought that if we changed everything over to audition, we'd be able to hear, but I guess that is not the case. And if I do this, we can hear them. But...
It bounces back for him. Well, no, he's not plugged in. He's not plugged in. This is bad for us, Mark. Can't do that. Awful. Okay. You know what I might do? I'm going to have you have the IFB. No, no, no. It's okay. No, because I think it would be more fun. I talk to them all the time. That way you can hear. Well, no, it would be fun for them. Isn't it bad that you can't hear them? Really? Well, he can cue me. Okay. And we can tell the producers that I can't hear and that you're going to be talking. Okay. So that you'll hear cues from them. Okay. I feel so bad that, like. Why? I'm taking away from you or something. You're not taking away from me. We're at the Mikey show. So why don't we get that? All right. So I'll get you set up. Okay. And if you want to see us. Stand by. All right. Channel 7. If you want to see us. Oh, this is for our tease. Okay. I'll set you up after the tease. Okay. Got it. Got it. So we're going to do a tease on Channel 7 right now. Okay. Hey, Woodsy. Are you nervous? No. Are you sure? I don't get nervous. Sometimes. No. For a big game? No. Here we go. Don't get nervous. Get amped. Okay. I'm not nervous. Nervous alarm. Hey, Marianne and Jason. No, false alarm. Whoops. Put on Channel 7 if you want to see us. We're on NBC. You're losing weight, Woodsy. Thanks, buddy. You can tell. Nice job. Hey, Marianne and Jason, we're hanging out with the Mikey Show. We're going to be talking about dating coming up. Yeah. This is what everyone looks like. You kind of want to. You listen to them every day on your way to work. Well, welcome. Here's the Mikey Show. Howdy.
You guys can talk in the mics. Okay. They can hear you. I was holding my breath. Why were you holding your breath? Quiet really quickly. Yeah. See, there you are. We have what you call a face for radio. Yes. Stop. That's not true. Here. Okay, now I'm going to get you. Speak for yourself, Mark. Yeah. Say that again. Yeah, I don't, Mike. I was actually made for television. You have to settle for radio. Hold on. I'm still smiling. You're screaming. He's screaming at the top of his lungs. That cameraman. Let's ride at him. He's just screaming. Okay, well, let me just, can I use this mic just to communicate with my producer? Hi, Jen, I'm giving the IFB to Mikey. So I don't have IFB, but Mikey will. Okay, now I'm going to pass it. She says that's okay? She's actually going to allow that? My goodness. She's actually going to allow that. Okay, okay. You got it. Wow, look at this. I'm being mic'd by Megan. Couldn't be more gorgeous. There you go. Creepy. Is that creepy?
Please. Oh, good. So now you can hear and we'll just kind of go off. That's one thing that I really. You have to rap. You're going to have to rap. You're going to cue me. You're going to get cues in your ear. Can you hear? Yeah. Okay. Now, how is that rap? They're going to say things like 15, 30, rap. When they say rap, just kind of end your thought and say. Got it. Hey, Marianne, Jason, great seeing you or something like that. Difficult thing for me to do in my thought, but I will try. My absolute best. Do your best, buddy. If you want to do the rap sign, you know, you kind of do a little twirl with your finger. Okay. I've been trying to rap him for years. And then we'll know. It's a true statement. It's a true statement. And I'll get cues from Mark. Perfect. We're going to talk about dating. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. The Yahoo deal? Is it the Yahoo deal how we're in the top 10? Yes. Oh, is that a Yahoo thing? Yeah. It says San Diego's in one of the top 10 cities in the U.S. for dating, according to a list posted Tuesday on their website. And the reason? Stuff that we would imagine. It's pretty here. It's pretty. It's got a cool beach culture. People work out. People work out. Nightlife. Hard body singles. That's what it says in this episode. Hard body singles. That sounds so creepy. I go on buses. It sounds like a weird way to say it in shape. Did you just say they're in shape? I need a hard body. Yeah, that's weird. Okay. I call a hotline for hard body singles. It's 900. Yeah.
The cities were listed alphabetically. They weren't necessarily ranked 1 through 10, but at least we made the list. Absolutely. Yeah. Why wouldn't we? There have been years that we haven't, which is weird, but there's been years that San Diego has not made that list for whatever reason. I'll tell you another city that's really great for singles is Scottsdale, Arizona. Oh, Mamacita. Yeah. Is that really it? Oh, man. It is true. Yeah. Same bit. Same bit. The weather. A lot of pretty girls. It's on the list. Okay. I couldn't. It was really cool. We found out that Megan is actually from here. She's from San Diego, which is cool because so many people live in San Diego are transplants, came here from somewhere else. My wife is actually from here. And it's unusual. You don't meet a lot of people that are actually, you know, they were born and raised. And then stay here. Stay. Yeah. It's kind of cool. Well, I think a lot of people like San Diego because of the weather. So there's a lot of transplants, like you said. Megan. I grew up here.
Went to Torrey Pines. I think you spoke at my school. I did. I went and spoke to the journalism department. I just emailed my friend trying to find out if she... Just really dated me, too. That made me for sure 41. Trying to feel younger, but she's like, yeah, I think you actually came to my preschool one time, Mike. And you had just turned 35. Yeah, you just turned 35, and you came to talk about what it's like to be a 35-year-old man. And I remember you asked how old I was, and I said, I'm this many. You said, I'll see you in Disney. Remember, you asked me what I wanted that year for Christmas, and I said Malibu Barbie. Easy bake up. And you said, what about your two front teeth? And then you punched me on the table. Okay, this is a cool fact. The Titanic is going to have some artifacts that they're going to be putting at the Natural History Museum here in San Diego. So you can actually see some of this. I have to go. Me too. Hey, do you think that Rose's ivory comb will be in there? I don't know. I think Rose was maybe a fictional character. No, because it was in that movie. Remember when she's on the deck and she takes that ivory comb out and that long, lustrous, gray hair spills across her breast? Yes. Do you remember that? Yeah, her long, spaghetti, white, white, spaghetti noodle-ish hair.
falls down upon her breasts in the movie Titanic. Long hair. I wonder if that comb will be in there. You don't think it'll be in there? No. I don't. One story until us? Okay. What about Jack's art book? Yep. I bet. You remember this movie well. Oh, man. Woods and I have both seen it a hundred times. A hundred times. I like it. All right, let me turn this down. Oh, we're going here. Oh, we are? Yes. I see you're getting the cues. Yes. Look at that guy. Go. Hey, Marianne and Jason, we're at the Mikey Show. Mikey actually has my IFB, so he's getting the cues from our producers. I know. I feel special. I feel really special to be able to have the IFB in. Are they talking to you? He froze. He's Ron Burgundy. I think they're talking to you. Oh, did it go out? No, it didn't go out. It didn't go out. It's just not... There we go. Now I can hear you. Excellent. Now I can hear you. Well, if they're talking to you, you can respond back. But otherwise, we should talk about dating in San Diego. Yeah, dating in San Diego. It turns out that we are one of the top ten cities for dating in San Diego for singles. And the reason is well worked out bodies, tanned bodies, and also just the weather that we have around here. It's always beautiful, which, by the way, I was going to tell our listeners that it's going to warm up. It's been cold. We had the rain that came through yesterday and last night, but it's going to get warm. And all through this weekend, it's supposed to be in the 70s, which is nice.
Very nice. That's a perfect weekend leading up to Valentine's Day. So people can go out and... Yeah, it's a time that I... Everyone's a dating city. Time that I like to go out and just experience the outdoors, really. As you can see, just from looking at me, I'm quite a jogger. I love to jog. Just get out there. Hike. Climb. Climb. Bike. Yeah, bike. Surf. Eat. All those... Eat. Eat. I'm actually a competitive eater. Outdoor. Outdoor. That should be a lot of fun. You're off-season, though. Yeah. It was pretty cool. Earlier, I told Megan off the air that I'm actually much more massive in person. And Jay agreed. Jay agreed. But then the camera adds like 100 pounds or something. So we have seven cameramen. Yeah, seven cameramen. Yeah. There's that. Well, wonderful. Anywho. So great to see you all. So, yes, Marianne and Jason. They're probably talking to Mikey if they can hear. Can you hear? We're going to continue. We're on air. Hang on. Jason's asking a question. Go ahead. Well, I don't think that's any secret. I'm of Hispanic. I'm of Hispanic background. And so, of course, it's Mexican food. That goes. I just call it food. Food. I think it goes without saying. Look at the camera when you're listening. She's rapping. Oh, are we rapping? Okay. Wow. Apparently I made big impact there.
They're wrapping us up now. I think maybe we give it back to Megan. Okay, well, great job. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thanks, Marianne. Thanks, Jason. I don't know if we're on or not, but if we are, that was pretty good. You know what the deal is? What did you think? It was great. The problem is that it's so, I have the worst hearing in the world. You know why? Why? I turn my headphones up so loud. Oh, after years of that? I've been doing it for 24 years, and so now it's, you know, really, it's... It's difficult to hear. Yes. You know, I actually got the flu, and then I had two ear infections like two weeks ago, and it was really hard for me to get my cues. Is that going to be bad? Because we kissed earlier, and I don't know if that's going to. We made out earlier. Yeah, we were making out, and so I don't know if that means that I'm going to get the flu. Wow. No, this was a couple weeks ago. Oh, my gosh. Sometimes you go on the radio. What are you saying? You can say all kinds of stuff on the radio. All right. Here's some of the birthdays today. John Grisham. He turns 57. Ted Gobble, 72, today. Wow, really? Nick Nolte, 71 years old. See the warrior. Yeah, you guys know Seth Green. Austin Powers is 38. Vince Neil. Yeah! Dude, do you know how old Vince Neil is? 50. 51. Vince freaking Neil. Lead singer of Motley Crue, 51 years old.
I can't believe it. One of the highlights of my life was drinking a pitcher of kamikazes with Vince Neil. Did you really? At a strip club. Yeah, absolutely I did. My goodness. Rick Santorum apparently came out of nowhere and swept three states last night. Really? Yeah, surprised a lot of people. Everybody thought he was done. And Newt Gingrich was the second guy. Apparently not so much. So weird. I know. He swept three states and did really well. Shocked the world. Let's see. I might have some audio or I might not. Sorry. I'm a little. We're all a little flustered because whenever Megan comes in, we get really excited. And sorry. That's good. There we go. But anyway, yeah. Rick Santorum last night were some primaries for a bunch of other states. And he did really good. Here. I got it. Let me tell you. So Rick Santorum. swept Minnesota, Colorado, and Missouri. That's the primaries that they had last night. Yeah. So maybe he's back in it and may have replaced Newt Gingrich as number two. We're just going to have to wait and find out. Already told you about the weather. The weather's going to get real nice starting tomorrow. Today, it's supposed to be a little bit overcast. Do we have our meeting today? Yes. We still do, right? Let's see.
Word of the day is novel. When you hear me say that, between now and nine, caller numero nine. Pair of flights to Mammoth Mountain and a $75 gift code to Pro Flowers. That's caller number nine for the non-Spanish speaking audience. That is a true story. Apparently, the CDC says that the biggest source of salt in our diet comes from bread. Not because there's a lot of salt in bread, but because... As a culture, we eat so much bread that we get a lot of salt just because we're eating a lot of it. Here's the other stuff. This is all stuff that's not the best for you. Cold cuts and cured meats. They said be careful. It's got a ton of salt in it. I'm off them. Pizza. Oh, come on. No. Ton of salt in pizza. I salt my pizza. Yeah, Jay salts the crap out of his pizza. Jay loves salt. Like a madman. He'll put salt on stuff before he tastes it. Blood pressure's still low. Yeah, I do. Salt on salt is the same. Salt on salt. He salts his salt. He's a pink salter on salt cubes. Blood pressure's still good, though, so. Of course it is. Fresh and processed poultry's got a ton of salt in it. Perfect. Soups, fast food hamburgers and sandwiches, cheese, spaghetti, meatloaf, and, of course,
The usual suspects, pretzels and potato chips and stuff like that. So they say CDC just came out with this big thing. Says, be careful. That stuff can kill you. County doesn't have enough people to answer phone calls. As it turns out. I read this this morning in the UT and went, wow. Too busy occupying City Hall. Apparently. But listen to this. People will call. And for five of every six people that call into the county, they're trying to get food stamps. Do not get through. And the average wait time, 30 minutes. Wow. People are sitting there on hold for 30 minutes. A lot of people just hang up. Well, I've done that plenty of times for everything. Yeah? 30 minutes isn't that bad. 30 minutes. More than 350,000 calls a month don't get answered. Wow. Because the county can't keep up. The system picks up 68,000 calls.
A month. So we should definitely give the mayor and all those city officials raises instead of hiring people to help out. Just double their pay. Yeah, we should double their pay. 110% increase, I think, is what they were calling for. Yeah. If Megan ever lets us, I want to do a bachelorette with Megan. She won't. She won't let us. You're married, Mikey. No, no, no. I'm not saying a bachelorette with me being a part of it. I'm saying we do a bachelorette. That's what I was thinking. We find eligible bachelors who would like to go on a date with her. She can't do it. She can't do it. She's too busy. She won't do it. So busy, Megan. I don't know if I can do it. Yeah, it's just my schedule. You're very busy. You're very busy. You're just as busy, though. No, we're not. You guys wake up early. Yeah, we get up early. It's a 5.30 show. So on the day that you don't have to do anything, what do you do? Well, that's a great question. Well, I have friends, so I'll go out to dinner with friends or go to yoga, go work out. You probably like to sleep. Go to dinner. Get some sleep. I sleep a lot. Well, I try and catch up on the weekends. Do you have any pets? I sound so boring now that I'm listening to myself talk. No. No, I don't have any pets. I would like a dog, but it's hard with the schedule. Since I live alone, it's difficult to find someone to take care of it. And how cool is this? She baked us cookies. Oh, I like to bake a lot.
Sorry, go on. My goodness. I do bake. She baked us cookies. They're good. I had one. And I'm training for a marathon, so that keeps me... Wow. Yeah, so, you know, she's on TV. She's beautiful. She bakes. And, you know, she's training for marathons. Yeah, who would want that? Yeah. But the problem is, she's very busy. Right, not us. I'm happily married. Very happily. Me too. Yeah. LOP is... It's hard to find, like, the right person. You know, you can date, but then... I don't know. Yeah, that's the problem. I mean, that statistic says that San Diego is a great dating city, but it's a great place to date and stay single. It's hard to find, I think, a good match. It's true. And you got to find what I call the Super Bowl quarterback. Girl like L.O.B. and a girl like Megan, you got to have a Super Bowl quarterback. The whole package. Got to have the whole package. The whole package. Let's see. Big package. I got five new statistics. I got five new statistics, not nude statistics, Jay. Five nude statistics. I can't wait to hear them. Who's statistic? Five new statistics on office sex and why it's popular. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now.
More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Got to tell you about Pro Flowers. I was doing that just a minute ago. And what I really want to emphasize to you is what they're doing right now with their hundred blooms of love. Check this out. 1999 and a free glass vase. A hundred blooms. I mean, if for no other reason you are going to make a gigantic impact. And I've told you this. The girls will be saying to their girlfriends, what do you get you for Valentine's Day? Don't be that dummy that has to go, oh, I kind of messed up. I'm in the doghouse, whatever. Especially if you don't have to. 100 Blooms of Love from Pro Flowers for $19.99 and a free vase. That's a $50 off discount for you. So call them. 1-800-PRO-FLOWERS. Or... You can make it real easy for yourself. Go to ProFlowers.com. In the upper right-hand corner, you're going to see a little microphone. Click on that. Type in Mikey Show, and you will get those discounts that I'm talking about. It's pretty awesome. It's ProFlowers. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep.
House hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage. It was a trap. It was an open house and a busy one. They were being overrun. A lot of people did seem interested, but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with Navy Federal Credit Union. Called in the big guns. Really nice and helpful for big guns. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Equal housing lending. 2012, the competition will end. All right. As bad as your title. Don't miss what happens next. Monster Energy AMA Supercross and FIM World Championship. Between Toyota, the official vehicle of Supercross, Tungyville, Odo, Stewart, and Reed Battle to the finish line. Tickets start at just 12 bucks. First of the box office, ticket master of participating Yamaha dealers. Tickets subject to convenience and handling charges. This Saturday, walk on scene. Over 200,000 customers are having a better hair day because of Ovation Cell Therapy. I had a brush full of hair every day. Since I started using Ovation, my hair is fuller and it's not falling out in the shower or the brush. Ovation also worked for my husband with his breakage. Thanks for a wonderful product. I'm a 40-year-old woman with extremely fine hair and I've been coloring it for over 25 years. Using Ovation has decreased my hair loss and increased the fullness of my hair.
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More colors, same edge. Droid Razor. Connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network. Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash bestnetwork. When Ford, Honda, and Toyota owners drove a Chevy, Cruze Eco, and a Sonic, something unexpected happened. I actually would like to drive away in this car right now. I keep forgetting that it's a Chevy. The price is great. It's really comfortable. I have great visibility. I feel safe. When I think of Chevys, I think of like dudes in a truck. So this is actually honestly surprising in a good way. So there you have it. They fell for Chevy after just one test drive. Will you dare to compare your car to a Chevy and get a great deal? Visit your local Chevy dealer today. Now, very well-qualified lessees can get a low-mileage lease on an EPA-estimated 36 MPG Highway Cruise LS for around $159 a month for 24 months with 1809 due at signing. No security deposit required. Mileage charge of 20 cents per mile over 24,000 miles. Tax, title, license, and dealer fees extra. Your payments may vary. Residency restrictions apply. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details.
Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today. If you want the prices you love for Valentine's Day, there's only one place to go. Valentine's Day is coming up soon. And instead of going out, we're going to have a romantic dinner in. Which is why I'm going to Albertsons. This year, we're going to celebrate with my favorite meal, surf and turf. Because Albertsons has great prices on ribeye steaks and lobster tails. I'll just grab some butter for melting and potatoes for baking. And while I'm in the produce department, I'm also going to pick up some cuties tangerines. Hey, they may not be for my Valentine's dinner, but I am in love with that sweet, cute fruit. Albertsons, when it comes to great deals for Valentine's Day or any day, I only have eyes for you. Shop at your neighborhood Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Celebrate Valentine's Day with surf and turf. Albertsons beef bone-in ribeye steaks are priced at just $4.99 a pound, and three-ounce North Atlantic cold-water lobster tails are just $3.99 each. Plus, pick up Cutie Tangerines because three-pound bags are a low $2.99. Find these savings and more at Albertsons. I just got 4G LTE from AT&T here in San Diego. And let me tell you, it's crazy fast. Like living in the future fast. Up to ten times faster than 3G. My roommates can't keep up. Ooh, Jenny, did you hear... That Barbara has an extra ticket to the concert? Lisa, that's so 42 seconds ago. I already downloaded it from the link she sent me. Oh, great. Lisa will forget about that ticket soon.
See, about 52 seconds ago, her boyfriend changed his relationship status to single. She doesn't know that yet, but she will in three, two, one. AT&T Rethink Possible. Introducing AT&T 4G LTE in San Diego with speeds up to 10 times faster than 3G. Come in now and get the Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket 4G LTE smartphone for free when you purchase the Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9 for $479.99. Visit att.com or store for details. Limited 4G LTE availability in select markets. Tablet and smartphone each require a new two-year service agreement with qualifying monthly data plan. Other charges and restrictions apply. This Valentine's Day, turn a special moment into a forever moment with a diamond heart pendant necklace from Ben Bridge Jeweler, an affordable extravagance from your personal jeweler, Ben Bridge. Hey, Supercross fans, it's Jay from The Mikey Show, and this Friday, February 10th, is Supercross Friday. Join me from two to four at One Industries as 94.9 helps them celebrate their 15th anniversary. Be one of the first 100 to show up and get a free...
One Industry 15th Anniversary T-shirt. While you're there, check out the new Spring 2012 gear and get autographs from all your favorite riders like Justin Baton, the Rockstar Energy Suzuki team, the Geico Power Sports Honda team, Monster Energy Kawasaki team, Yoshimura Suzuki team, the Athertons, and more. There'll be a ton of food and drinks and team bikes on display. Plus, you can enter to win gear signed by Justin Baton, Rockstar gear signed by the entire Rockstar Energy Suzuki team, and a Gamma helmet signed by all of the one athletes. That's all happening this Friday, February 10th from 2 to 4 at One Industry's 15th anniversary celebration. They're located at 12270 World Trade Drive, Suite 103 in San Diego. Visit FM949SD.com today for all the information and directions. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, our neighborhood Toyota dealers, the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory trained technicians. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts.
Well, we've got a little slowing here this morning as you travel on the 80s bound at the 15 north, 38 miles an hour. Also heading up towards the 67, the 67 northbound side, Maple View Street to Winter Garden Boulevard. That's about 37 to 44 miles an hour. And where else do you got any slowing? You got some slowing on that. 905 as always. Corporate center drive to Airway Road, 33 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Allstate. You can save even more when you bundle your policies with Allstate. Simply bundle your auto, your life coverage, and more and start saving today. Find an Allstate agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Maybe you like somebody further inside. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Oops, oops, oops, oops. Sorry, I didn't mean to. Gosh, I never do that. By never, you mean always. I'm really on one today. We all are. I'll tell you that. I'm really on one today. Megan from NBC San Diego is hanging out with us. And that was Jay that did that thing.
Oh, boy, Megan. I know. Oh, if it's words you want, girl. I'll give them to you. I'll give you words make you have to wash your ears out with soap. I don't care that you're younger than most of my daughters. It don't matter to me. I don't care less. I'm just looking. I'm not touching. Remember I said... When I said... I said I like to look, I just don't like to touch. Well, here's the truth, because no one's listening right now. I like to look as long as my... That's not true. Touch, touch, touch, touch. I love to touch. Touch, touch, touch. I'm a touch fetishist. I'm obsessed with touching, okay? I love to touch. Fine. I'm out. I'm proud. You're making her uncomfortable. No, I'm not, but all of a sudden I'm looking at you differently. Oh, he's a creep. He's a Megan, so you know. He is a creep. Men are all creeps. I just know that. That is a true fact. And I'll even give you some statistics on office sex. Listen to this. Apparently, according to a new survey, 11% of people have had sex in the office. Hello, babe.
7% of people, 7% of people do it regularly. L.O.B. doesn't have sex at work. What does it say about in your boss's chair? Oh, gosh. Stop that. There was one Friday when her boyfriend Matt was here, and we had all gone home for the day. I know she would never do that. I know she would not do that. You're a sweet kid. Mikey, you're a sweet, sweet man. You know that if I believed that, it would ruin me. If I thought that that woman... was doing creepy things in this chair, it would creep me out. It's already been did. Please watch closely as I use my lips. 5% of people have sex at work when they're on the clock. Oh my gosh! Lauren, that is inappropriate to be yelling things out like that when we're on the radio talking about this story. Let's see.
Most of the people, they say, do this at their desk, in a meeting room, or in the parking garage. Yeah, sign me up for that. Lauren, you shouldn't say sign you up for that because you have a boyfriend. And my answer to you is yes. Oh, wow. Is that real audio? Score. I didn't ask, Lauren. Babe, look. Look at my hair. First of all, don't call me babe. It's inappropriate to do. Don't call me babe. I've tried everything. Lauren. What you do in your own time is completely gigantic. Lauren, settle down. First of all, settle down. And second of all, don't start talking about Woods' piece like that. Oh, my goodness, Lauren. Lauren. Longer than it's ever been. That's it. Lauren, you need to be taken off the radio. Oh, my goodness. You can't say anything in this room. All right. Are you guys ready to play a little game? Let's do a little bit of this. 570-1949. Do name that tune. And what is the theme today, Jay? Wedding songs. Oh, wow. Wedding songs. All right. So you're going to call in. You're going to pick me, Woods, or L-O-B to represent you. The theme is wedding songs. Type songs that we play at a wedding.
And you call, and you're going to pick one of the three of us to represent, and we'll see how we do. Now, we have these buzzers. And the reason that we have buzzers is one reason. Oh, boy. Woods. Now, the reason that we had to get these buzzers is, well, because Woods always felt that he was being cheated. Because I was? He felt that no matter what, we would use our name as a buzzer. Okay, he's that guy at the party when you're playing board games that always feels cheated even though it's a game meant for fun. We're just trying to have a good time. Or even if he's winning. Even if he's winning. So what we did was we went out and we purchased $350 buzzers so that Woods would know, you know, definitely who buzzed in first. And even though we have these buzzers. Yes. Woods will occasionally think that there was a malfunction in his buzzer. And slap the buzzer like a crazy person. That is a true fact as well. Punch it, kick it, stomp on it. M1 Hot for Teacher from La Jolla, who would you like to represent you? Are you there? Oops, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Who? My old pal, Woodsy. Your old pal, Woodsy. Your OP dub. Hang on. M1 Andrea from Carlsbad, who do you want to represent you? Me. There you go. I'm always taking last. Yes, you are.
M1 Mexican Bradley from Mira Mesa, you've got me, okay? That's Mexican Bradley Cooper, and I was going to pick you anyways, Mike Shannon. Okay, good, good. If the Zapato fits, you know? Yeah, stands to reason. There you go. All right, we've got to reset on the buzzers. Reset, and let's do this. We are playing for a $30 gift card to Dave & Buster's. Check out their daily happy hour, Monday through Friday, eat, drink, play. What's a happy hour? What's a happy hour? All right, here we go. We're dead. We're dead. Don't do that in front of Megan, Mike. I thought I told you. We are dead. Here we go. Go ahead, Woods. At last. Damn it. No. Here, I'll play a little more. Jay was in high school when this came out. L.O.B. Frank Sinatra. Yep. I don't know what it's called. These are the top 15 songs for wedding songs. So what's it called? That was Frank Sinatra. Always or something crazy. I don't know. Gosh darn it, Lauren. Don't ask me. Put me on a damn spot in front of Megan. I was curious. Megan's here. You're going to ask me what the song is? Gosh darn it, girl. It doesn't show up on my display. Here we go. Here we go. Who, L.O.B.? Harmony. Always I want to be with you. Always I want to be with you. Say a bunch of stuff. See if something sticks. You need to hone that in if you're going to. Always I want to be with you. Here we go. Play a little more for you.
Woods. I'm going to take a guess. Erasure? Dang it. Oh, you cramped out on the title. It's just always. Oh, yes. What's always? Here we go. I still hate you. Here we go. You BS artist. Oh, gosh darn it. Go. Elton John. Damn it. Can you feel love now? I don't know. Can you? Gosh darn it. I should have known that. Here we go. I took a bubble bath yesterday. Of course I should know that. Again? Here we go. Ow! Stop it, Jay. It's me. It's me. Oh, Mikey. That is the Everly Brothers. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Reset. Yes. L-O-B. No. Elvis. Oh, look. This is broke again. What do you got? Elvis. Yes. There we go. Did you just break that? No. Did yours really break before? Sometimes he will, Megan. The kid is a very emotional guy. Yes, I know. He's a very emotional guy.
A bowl in a china shop? Yep. Okay. What's a bowl in a china shop? It's a bowl. Here we go. Come on. Mikey. Madonna. Crazy for you. Love that song. That's right. Didn't know it started with some weird saved by the bell. Yeah. Interesting. Be awkward at a wedding. Here we go. Come on. Mikey. Endless love. What's the score there, LLB? It is Mike, one, Lauren, two, Woods, zip. Whoa. You got two, I thought. Didn't you just get two? Well, he had a negative one. Yeah, when you got it wrong, they take away a point. Hey, Mexican Bradley Cooper, I'm really hanging in there for you, though, buddy. I knew you would, bro. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Did you? Here we go. Here we go. Gosh darn it. I know that. Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. Steam. Gosh darn it. Dang it.
Back in the game. Back in the game. Come on. Come on. Let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go. Come on. Come on. Come on. You BS artist. Go ahead. You BS artist. You don't know it. He doesn't know it. Go ahead, Miguel. Go ahead. He doesn't know it. I don't know. Keep doing your bit. Reset. Reset. Reset. Reset. L.O.B. Secret Garden. What's Secret Garden? What's Secret Garden? Secret Garden. Bruce Springsteen. Secret Garden. No. Oh, it's wrong. Oh, it's wrong. Oh, I get a shot. What's wrong? Play it. Oh. Oh, gosh. That's Brian Adams. Heaven. Dang it. Damn. I'm short of myself. Did you lose your point? I did. So now Mike. Woods, you need to lose a point, man. Mike has zero. I have two. Woods has two. He lost the very first point out of the game. Oh. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, come on. Oh. I didn't do it. Yes. Yes. He loses the point. You got to take a guess. The Beatles.
I can't do it. It's Woods. It's Woods. Go ahead. David Bowie, Heroes. Wow. I was not even listening. I must have leaned on it. I don't even know what that's on. So good. Here we go. What's the score here? It is Mike 0, Lauren 1, Woods 3. He's running away. Dang it. Okay, I've got a two-pointer here. Gosh darn it, he does this to me. Back in the game. Here's a two-pointer. Yeah! Gosh darn it. Yes! Okay, one more. I've got one more for you. Come on. Here is a six pointer. You're such a six pointer. Six pointer. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Are you ready? Yep. Here we go. Oh, have at it. There's no freaking way. You got nothing. You got nothing. Go ahead, Mikey. Say it, Mike. I don't know. Oh, that was hard. Here we go. I want some. Son of a. L.O.B. Morrissey. No, I got it.
I got it. Depeche Mode, somebody. There you go. He's the winner. There he goes. Woods got it. Front flip drill good into the beanbag. M1 hot for teacher. You made a wise choice, my friend. But he did it. Hang on. Well played, my friend. Well played. Your little bit will come back and bite you. I know it will. When you just try to weigh in. I just try to hit it and hope for the best and hope that my brain catches up. Sometimes you lean on it and you're not even paying attention. It's a true story. If you go to our Facebook page, facebook.com slash Mikey Show, you can see a picture of a purple squirrel. It's real. They found it in Pennsylvania. How does that happen? I don't know. Maybe it's something environmental that's eating something, making it look weird. Something in the soil. Could be. Could be that. I don't know, but whatever it is, it's weird looking. You can see it. We posted it on our website. It's really gross looking. Woods went to the DMV yesterday. I did. Now, we can all relate to going to the DMV, but let's see if you can relate to Woods' recap. Here's what it says. I'll read it verbatim. Went to the Oceanside DMV yesterday. What a treat. The lady who was working with me literally...
shushed the girl next to me in line for talking to her mom on the cell phone. In the line next to me, a lady was screaming at the worker about money. It made a pretty random thought enter my mind. Do stars have to go to the DMV? Stars, I said. Like, if Lady Gaga has to get a driver's license, does she physically have to go to the DMV? Got me wondering if there's a celebrity DMV. For Tom Cruise or Madonna or Lady Gaga. Or Stephen R. Woods. That's not what I meant. You know it. The Hollywoods. The Hollywoods. That's not what I meant. Gosh darn, man. I wish I didn't. Hey, I really have to stand in this line right now? Y'all know who I am. My goodness. I'm sitting here. I got to listen to this woman scream at this woman. That's not what I meant. I got to stand here and listen to this woman on her cell phone. I'm on the Maki Show. And I'm on the Maki Show.
That's his voice. Yeah, it's my voice. It's identical, isn't it? He's from Texas. He's from Texas, so when we do his voice, we talk like this. Look, it's not even close to what I meant. Gosh, Mark. The kid doesn't want to wait in line. I'll wait in line all day. There's got to be a San Diego celebrity driver's license place or something. Call in if we know. Where's the VIP room? Yeah, where's the VIP? You guys are jackass. Did you get my rider? Yeah. Hey. Hello? Okay, maybe I do this. That's not what I meant. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? May I explain? Yes, please. What I was thinking about when I pulled into the parking lot, I go, gosh, there's a lot of cars here. If truly, because you always see these celebrities in their fancy cars. Yes. Yeah, I drive a Chevy Suburban 2001. Okay. I'm not a celebrity. Okay. I don't act like a celebrity. I don't behave like one. Okay. What's the difference between act and behave? Good question. I don't act like one. I don't behave like one. Okay. I don't pretend to be one. I don't pretend to be one. When I thought about, I'm like, what if Tom Cruise needs a new driver's license? Do they really make him go to that freaking DMV and stand there with all his paper? Hey, Tom, you need to fill this out. You realize, oh, Woods, the fact that you, before mentioning that thought entering your mind, you talked about how annoyed.
Oh, no, I was just saying it was a terrible, like imagine a real celebrity in there waiting in line, having to fill out reams of paperwork and then going, okay, Gaga, go stand in front of the blue screen. Take your picture. She's there. She's there. Yeah. With blood dripping down her head. I honestly wonder if in Hollywood they're like, all right, listen, you call this number, you go in, you talk to Mike. He's going to take care of you. It wasn't for me. I don't act that way. If they ever do open a celebrity DMV here in San Diego, it'll be a good day because then, you know. I won't go. Woods won't have to. I won't go. I like, I'm a man of the people. I like to be with the people. You know, I don't do photo shoots in my spare time, unlike some people around here. That's actually not true. You've got a headshot that we've got. Yeah, I had to. Yeah. Yeah, like two years ago. I haven't done any extra ones. What about that one that you have up there on the wall? That's a new one. That's not from our first day on the air. Yeah, that was a put together of a bunch of headshots. It is, in fact, a headshot. Didn't you come right out here and shoot it and say, hey, it'll make it look good? Yeah, he asked me to test the light, so I did it. Yeah, headshot. Can I get rid of my chins? Oh, wow. Oh, boy. So, I don't act that way.
You guys know it. Photoshopped. Jay says that he must be getting old because his sons, Finn and Jasper, are taking drum lessons, or as Jay wrote, they're talking drum lessons. They're just talking about it. No, they're actually taking them. I don't know why I'm talking. I'll check. So they are nonstop for an hour straight. The whole house shakes. What a beating. That is tough when your kids want to drum. Why are they doing that? Jay. Oh, man. I'm proud of them, but at the same time, I'm like, God. You know you can soundproof rooms with egg crate mattresses. Well, it's already in the garage. Yeah, soundproof it. And it's still noisy? Yeah, the walls are covered, and it's soundproof, and there's a fire door. That's why there's not a lot of good drummers out there. Yeah, parents won't let them practice. We have a tiny drum set, and my wife put it as far away. As she could possibly put it. And the kids don't want to practice in the hallway. No, it's in the hallway. It's in the hallway. I've seen it. I've also seen your son, Jake, wearing that thing out before. Yeah, he would wear it out even more if it were in a place other than the hallway. I'm like, babe, why don't you put it in the bathroom? I mean, that would have been easier. Megan, you have to go? I have to go because my photographer, I think, is waiting for me. I know. I'm sad. I had so much fun. I love coming here.
We don't want you to go. We love having you. All right, let's hug. It's always like a nice, it's always a real nice treat. All right, we got to give you a hug. Oh, really? Oh, wow. We don't do this for everybody. I've been tweeting about you guys. You're the greatest, Megan. Thanks for the cookies. She has her headphones off now, so she can't hear me. Oh, boy. Oh, Lauren. It's always fun, guys. Really, thanks a lot. Thank you very much. Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye, Megan. Bye. Bye. I've been tweeting too. Oh, good. I'm going to watch Jay's hug with her real quick. Yeah. I'm going to watch Jay hug her. Jay is a creep. He's such a creep. Be careful of that guy. See you guys. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. You're so gross, Jay. My goodness. Good Lord. His eyes rolled back in his head. Hey, hey, hey, Megan, call me if you need to come back or whatever. Just call. I have a wiener. Hey, if you need a behind-the-scenes tour, I can do it. That's right. It may be thin, but it works. It plumps when you cook it, Megan. Megan, it plumps when you cook it. Megan, I don't know if I mentioned it, but it plumps when you cook it.
Oh, gosh. That was really creepy. Wow. God, that hug had just sex in it. Oh, it just was so perverted. Like L.O.B. said, his eyes rolled back. All you saw were whites. It was very weird. Yeah, it was like a shark about to attack its prey. I was surprised how aggressive she was. She really got in there. Oh, really? She tripped. She tripped. She was grinding, right? She's grinding me, girl. I was like, hey, hey, hey, I'm a married man. Gosh, darn it. Happily married. Girls can't help it. I'm surprised she didn't eat me like a popsicle. Hey, Megan, I ain't a damn corn dog. Leave me alone. It doesn't lump when you cook it, but come on. The number of roses that you give a girl sends a message, it's true. And I'll tell you, I'll walk through. You give a girl this many roses, here's what it means. Here's what you're telling us. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42 pants. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. I was sitting at a conference table yesterday and a big smile came across my face. And the reason is because I was at Jerome's headquarters and I knew, oh yeah, this is a perfect fit. Jerome's and the Mikey shows a perfect fit. Why? When they started to tell us what their business model is and they were saying these things, no gimmicks.
No smoke and mirrors. No phony sales. Just value every day. When they started saying that we don't do those gimmicky sales. See, there's going to be furniture stores that you're going to see that come up with all these different gimmicks for different times of the year. Jerome's doesn't do it. And the reason they don't is because their prices are always set low. Now, I've been going to Jerome's for years. So when they brought up the idea of doing an endorsement for Jerome's. It was a no-brainer for me to begin with because I've gotten furniture from Jerome's for years. But I found out so much about them yesterday. First of all, I don't know if you know, if you go in there before 6 o'clock, they'll deliver the same day, that night. You go in there before 6, they'll deliver that day. It really is an incredible place if you are in the market for furniture and you're going anywhere but Jerome's. Nuts. They're in San Diego on Marina Boulevard. They're in San Marcos. They're in Chula Vista. They're in El Cajon. They're in Scripps Ranch. They're in Marietta. They're in Corona. Don't cheat yourself. Treat yourself. I just made that up. I just made that up. Jerome's Furniture. The price of gas was really taking its toll on my wallet. Oh, hey, Shelly. So to save some money, I've started taking the bus that sort of goes by my office.
Mom, stop talking. You're embarrassing me. Did I mention it's my daughter's school bus? There, I just did. Hey, a penny saved. Stop. Stop it. Penny earned. There's an easier way to save. To get a free rate quote, go to geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. Meet one of your local GEICO agents. Hi, folks. Actually, we've got a lot in common, you and I. Um, we do. You like to save folks 15% or more on their car insurance? Sure do. I like to save folks 15% or more on their car insurance. It's like we're twins, separated at birth. Okay. Except for the old tail thing. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Get ready to feel the love at T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. Because for one day only, all 4G smartphones in the store are free when you switch to T-Mobile. Whoa, did you say all 4G smartphones? Yep, every phone is free. What about those 4G super phones? Like the Samsung Galaxy S2. Yep, like I said, every phone is free. So you can get a free Galaxy S2 and watch movies or stream live TV right on your phone. Thanks to T-Mobile's lightning-fast 4G.
And share the love. New two-year contract on qualifying classic plan required. Mail and rebate card may apply while supplies last. 4G HSPA Plus Network not available everywhere. See participating stores for details. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola. Now in black, white, and purple. The perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple. Really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet. Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple. Now make me love the price. And he says, no problem. Because right now, you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. More colors, same edge. Droid Razor, connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network.
Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash best network. Years, there have been some things in your life that were simply phases, trends, and passing fancies, like your leather pants phase, or your passion for hacky sack, or your crazy sweater collection. But there are other things in life that are really worth keeping up, like saving for your retirement. So when you're ready to start something great that you can really stick with, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With Way to Save Retirement, you can get started saving for your retirement with just a few simple steps. Open a Way to Save Retirement account and set up automatic transfers from your Wells Fargo checking account. You can choose how much you automatically put away for the future, and you can adjust the amount as your needs change. The Way to Save Retirement account has all the tax benefits of an IRA, and your money is covered by FDIC insurance up to the applicable limits. It's easy to start and there are no annual custodial or monthly service fees. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today to discuss how our Way to Save Retirement account can help get you on track. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member of DIC. Having McDonald's without a Coke? That's like driving a monster truck with 10-inch tires. Like having a great date on a bad hair day. Gaming with no controller. Texting with only one thumb.
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Well, we've got a little backup this morning as you travel on to the 52 westbound. That ramp from the 125 looks like it's about 26 miles an hour. Something in the middle of the road on the 125 northbound, it's right before the 94. And as you leave the Coronado Bridge, that exit off the 75 westbound is about 35 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. Come and get your kicks at Club 55 on Wednesdays at the all-new Saquon Casino. Get up to $55 in slot, free play, a continental breakfast, and exclusive. 50-55 five senior lunch specials. They're exclusive 555. All right, ready? An exclusive 555 senior lunch specials. I never was good at math. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. On FM 94.9. My day, leave my body. Oh, yeah. It's her favorite. It's her favorite thing. Like, more than any other type of humor, watching my day leave my body is her favorite thing. It's a big success. It's a big player in L.O.B.'s. Great success. Great success. Great success. It's the Mikey Show. Yeah.
I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Jay. And screening phones with us is Adam today. Hello, Adam. Word of the day is novel. When you hear us say the word novel, between now and nine, caller nine, give you a pair of flights to Mammoth Mountain and a $75 gift code to proflowers.com. Make that right for Valentine's Day. Woodsy, what's going on in the sporting world? I will tell you that the man behind Moneyball is going to be staying put for a little while. The Oakland A's have extended the contract of general manager Billy Bean through the 2019 season. Wow. I guess they like not going to the playoffs or the World Series. They have not been to the playoffs since 2006. Oh, my. But. Why? Why? Guy's got a movie made about him, I guess. I don't know. I mean, he's kind of a marquee name now for the Oakland A's. Maybe they think it'll bring money to. The team? You never know. You never know. Also, UFC light heavyweight champion John Bones Jones will defend his belt on April 21st in Atlanta. He will be taking on Rashad Evans. This is the fight that everyone's been looking for. And again, that is April 21st in Atlanta, UFC 145. Sweet. Okay, so the number of roses. The number of roses that you give to somebody means something. If you give one rose. Now, and we're not talking color here.
Let's assume that for the sake of this conversation, it's red. Okay? Okay. You give one rose early on in a relationship. It means that it was love at first sight. That's what you're telling someone. Oh, I got one rose my first Valentine's Day with Matt. Love at first sight. And, you know, from what you guys have said, from what you've said about your guys' relationship when you guys first met, that sounds about right. I'd say cheap. One rose. I think it could be elegant. It was very elegant. And then my whole bedroom was filled with balloons. I think One Rose is an elegant move. I think it's a classy move. It should be accompanied by something else. Either a gesture or dinner made. Like something else. A note. Yes. Maybe a scavenger hunt. Woods, if the Rose Woods is in a little... triangular plastic cup with water in it, then yeah. But if it's got maybe like a little ribbon or... Baby's breath. What did you say? A scavenger hunt? What did you guys say? Scavenger hunt. A freaking scavenger hunt? Yes. What are you talking about, a scavenger hunt? A scavenger hunt. I'm looking at her like an alien just landed here. Yeah, you had a guy give you a scavenger hunt? Yeah, it was like a treasure map. What was at the end of it?
I forget. Was he Captain Morgan? You were dating Captain Morgan. No, but he, like, put the paper in tea and, like, burned the ends of it. I hate that. Oh, yeah. Whoever he is is a douche. No way. He likes men now. He likes guys. No, he doesn't. He finally let the world know he likes guys. He's married to somebody else. What's his name? His name is John. He's romantic. Very romantic. All right. It requires effort, so I can see where you guys would be at. It's not expensive. Can I say the D word on the radio? Because I almost just did. He is. I almost just, I guess if the shoe fits. Three roses represents a shared love. Just seems like what happened to the rest of you. Exactly. Three is strange. Three is, it's a good gift to give for your one month. Oh, cool. A quarter dozen. Awesome. Among all your girlfriends? Yeah, seriously. I got four girlfriends. I'm going to buy three a piece. Six roses means passion. Or two girlfriends. Yeah. It means Helen's got the other ones. Exactly. Why the hell would you be dating a girl named Helen? Helen. Well, it's 1937. It means his mom has the other ones. Hello, Helen. Hello, dear. Thank you for the half dozen roses. You're welcome. That's very passionate of you.
10 Roses says you believe your love is perfect. What? No, it means you dropped two on the way. Yeah, I'm doing 10. I'm going to do 10. I'm writing it down. I'm going to. I'm setting a new trend. 12 Roses is you're mine or be mine. It's perfect for Valentine's Day. Everybody knows the 12 Roses bit. 13 Roses means you just want to be friends. What? Oh. Let me tell you something. I give L.O.B. 13 Roses because I want to be friends. My wife is kicking me right in the nuts. And Matt Commerce, her boyfriend, is going to kick your ass. Yeah. Why would you give someone you just want to be friends with 13 roses? I know. Is that weird? Is that strange? That's a weird thing. Giving anyone you just want to be friends with red roses is weird. Wait, it's weird that I'm going to give my wife Rebecca's friend Lori 13 roses? I just want to be friends with her. I know I gave you six, but yeah, I just want to be friends with her. I'm passionate for you. I'm friends with her. Babe, our love is perfect. She's my friend. Hence why I gave you 10. 15 roses means that you are sorry. That's a true statement. You got to go above and beyond. 15 roses does mean you're sorry. 15 roses also means, wow, I'm sorry you found that in my phone. Yeah, exactly. 15 roses means.
I don't know what that was doing on my computer. Yeah, well, don't look at my history and you won't get 15 roses. The number of creepy sites you visited represented by one rose. That's 15 roses. In Woods' case, he'd have to buy a field. 7,000 roses. 24 roses is like shouting, I'm yours. 24 is over the top. I've done it. You're over the top. It's like shouting, if you do it to the workplace, it's like shouting, hey, she's mine. She's mine. 24 roses, when they're all spread out, looks like a dozen. In fact, the one time I did it for Rebecca, I got 24 roses because I was just like, I'm going balls out. And I was like, it's not as big a deal as I thought it was going to be. Yeah, I know. I agree with you. But it's really nice. So you've gotten the 24 roses? I've gotten the 24 roses and I'm like, wow, I thought it would be a lot more exaggerated. Did you count them? I did count them. Women counted. I counted them. And then I also, if you get to spread them out around your house, it makes your house look more elegant. It does. That's a true story. Did you know that there's a 40 roses deal? P. Diddy. No, 40 roses means you're desperate. I'm going to read you what it says. It means that your love is truly genuine and also that you have a lot of money. No, 40 roses means you're desperate.
I definitely think it's showing you have a lot of money. Well, you have a lot of money, but if you buy somebody 40 roses, you need them to like you. You're codependent. You need them to like you. And you can't do it with 12. You can't do it with 24. 40 roses. The only way that it isn't not desperate is if you're super rich and you just do some stupid amount of roses. See, but I wouldn't want 40 roses. I'd want 40 of a different flower. Yeah. And I'd spread them out. I wouldn't think desperate. I'd think cool. Hey, do you think that roses are a cliche? I personally don't like roses that much, but I think I'm in the minority. Yeah. A little passe, maybe. I don't know. What do you like to give a girl? I give... Jamie likes... My wife, Jamie, likes lilies. And she... Stargazer lilies. Yep. And I just go for kind of what looks cool. Tulips always look real cool, I think. Oh, I love tulips. What did Jamie like? I like tulips. Jamie likes stargazer lilies. You know that. You know that. My wife likes tulips. Yeah, I like tulips, too. I don't like tulips. I like her tulips. I don't know why. I like the Gerber daisies and the lilies. Gerber daisies are pretty. What am I talking about? Gerber daisies are pretty? What the hell? Isolate that. Who's laughing? What a jerk.
You forgot you were on the radio. I forgot I was on the radio. I thought it was just us at your house. I know. Because that would have happened off the air a million times. Yeah, those are pretty. Gosh darn it. Gerber days are pretty. You see them when you're feeding the ducks? They're lovely. They're lovely. Reset. Yeah. You see that man card? Man card. Yep, there it is. If I could turn his mic off, I'd turn his mic off. I would. Oh, the way he said it. Curvitase is so pretty. So pretty. Curvitase. You said it in a way that was so conversational. It was so conversational. And it was so emphatic. No, no, no. It was emphatic. No, it wasn't. It wasn't. You know what I loved about it the most? And this is the most embarrassing part about it. It was extraordinarily. opinionated. Very firm on my stance. He was ready to fight. You were ready to go to freaking war about Gerber Daisies because if there was someone in the room that had the balls of the audacity to go, you know what kind of suck are Gerber Daisies? The way that you responded emphatically and very opinionated said,
Oh, F that. No, Gerber daisies are pretty. Those are badass. Gerber daisies are pretty. Woods, yes. Do you think that we will ever not play a clip of you saying Gerber daisies are pretty? Do you think that a day will go by on this radio station where we do not play a clip of you? A guy with a giant dip of snuff in your mouth. We'll get tired of it. We get tired of everything. My face hurts. We get tired of everything. We'll never tire. We will. We will. It was so, it was as organic as Gerber daisies. We always do. We try to make stuff stick and it doesn't stick. That won't stick. It was, it was so, I mean, it was, it was, there was no wavering. Bold statement. There was no part of you that thought, eh, they're okay. Eh, you know, they're, they're all right. They'll do. They'll do. No, no, no, no, no.
Gerber daisies, they're pretty. Tony Soprano's a big fan of Gerber daisies. When you said it, when you said it, Lauren's eyes lit up like a slot machine. Triple sevens. Yeah, triple sevens. We almost glazed over it because it was so conversational. It just fit in there. He forgot, man. There was no mic in front of you. I forgot it was here. I love it. M1 Dino from San Diego. What's going on, guys? How are you guys doing? A lot better now. What's better than a dozen roses on a piano? Gerber freaking daisies. Gerber daisies are, apparently. A dozen roses on a piano? Don't anybody make a t-shirt that says Gerber daisies are pretty? I like two lips on the organ. Two lips on an organ. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my. Thank you. Did you get it? Did you get it? I mean, that was pretty good considering what was said. Roses on a piano, two lips on an organ. Yeah. That's pretty good. It's really, it's a good one. Isn't that Rebecca's favorite flower? Yes. Two lips. Stop it. Stop. Cut it out.
Know what I like to do, man? Oh, gosh. I like to wait till you're vulnerable. And then kick you. Oh, by the way, Adam Lambert just texted me and asked me out on a date. Asked me to lunch, by the way. Well, he's got to send you some Gerber daisies. And then it's a done deal. He just texted me and said, hey, how about lunch today? How about lunch at Rubio's? This is something that a lot of people should take note of. If you ever send Woods flowers, don't do roses. No. He prefers. He prefers. We now know the key to his heart. Gerber daisies. We have the same flower, Woods and I. Imagine that. You are an awesome man. I mean that with every ounce of my soul. I guarantee you that Megan is laughing right now in that car. She is giggling. Oh, man. That was good. Thank you, bud. You're welcome. Thank you for that nugget. Glad I could help. Spent. I will be isolating that little clip later. We will play that every day. Will we? Yes, we will. No, we won't. Let's see. Be the promo clip for today. LLB and her treasure hunting. Scavenger hunting. Scavenger hunting. Awesome. Yes. If I gave my wife.
a scavenger hunt, she would laugh at me. She'd go, oh, boy. Well, of course. Well, it just dawned on me. Now, had this guy made sex to you yet? Because if you have, oh, yeah. But maybe he listened. Because I told him about when I was a kid, I did the treasure hunting. So maybe he was like, hey, I'm going to give you, you know what? Maybe he was a good guy after all. I gave Rebecca the memory jar. Gosh. Hey, Gerber. Was she a big fan of memory? Easy, GD. GJ. The better thing is when at the end of the treasure hunt is the girl. If you come in the front door, there's something on the table, and it says, you know, follow the rose petals down the hallway. It's so perverted. And then you get up top of the stairs, there's a note, and he's turned. Tied around my dong. You know what I'm going to do for Kim? I'm going to dry her hot bath, and I'm going to put some oils in it. Just oils. All I have is motor oil, and I'll put it. I have Wesson oil. Wesson oil, Crisco oil. That's all we have, girl. We're just going to get in that tub. Yeah. Slip slide. Slip slide away. Some vajazzling at the end. That's right. That's what I call it, Wood. Vajazzling. What? Ain't nobody got no problem with that, do they? Hi, this is Jay Isbell for Vajazzling. Why? Do you know what that is, by the way? Okay. Well, you should before you do promos for it. You put Jules on the... On your hoo-ha. What? You monster, you L-O-V. What?
I trust you. Hi, this is Mikey for Vajasaline. Greatest show ever, by the way. That's what that is? You creep. I don't do it. You should. You knew I would go with it. I was trying to be a creep. It's like a lure. I got a... A lure? A fishing lure. A fishing lure? It draws you right in. It's like a lure. Don't you put your finger on my lip. It's like a lure. Gosh, darn. Oh, my God. Don't you ever shush me? Don't you ever shush me? Oh, my God. Don't shush me, Mike. Don't shush me. I'm a big mouth bass, Mike. Oh, God. I'm looking for that lure. Yeah, you could do, like, different shapes, like a heart. All right, all right, all right. All right. I guess we get it. Relax. Why do I just... I don't know why you went with this. I just run with stuff. In my mind, I go... We're riffing, and I'm like... Oh, Mikey's going with vajazzling. Weird. This is weird.
Trying to have a good time. I didn't realize she was doing something disgusting. I thought I told you what vajazzling was a long time ago. No, you didn't. I've never had a vajazzling conversation with you. One thing I do know is that I've never had that conversation. She's like, oh, it must have been some other Mexican friend of mine. No, I don't have any. The warm weather's coming back, by the way. I mentioned it earlier, but... They say it's not supposed to start until tomorrow, but you look outside right now, it looks pretty nice. But by the weekend, man, summer-like weather around this joint. You are something else, lady. You are really on the way today. Yes. What about Jay? Did you guys know that Ben Harper and Laura Dern were a couple? Yeah, a while ago. I didn't know. Well, they're back. She should not get back together with him. He's a creep. Oh, wow. Ben Harper? Yes. They're way different in age, right?
I don't know. She was in Jurassic Park. Is this wrong? Can he get way better? Yeah, he can. He's a sharp dude. He could get, like, younger. He's really in love with her. Let me let you know he's really in love with her. They must be. They have a kid together? Do they? I wonder if they have a kid together. The thing I have doesn't say. Five years, I have two kids. Oh, two kids. Maybe that has something to do with it. From what I saw, he wasn't too in love. A musician, right? Yeah. Did you make love to Ben Harper and you just haven't told us yet? No, I didn't. Did you make out with Ben Harper? I did not. No. I didn't have any physical contact. Why did you just wink? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I didn't have any physical contact. She's like, well, I was blindfolded, so I can't be sure. Could have been him. Could have been Ben Harper. Haven't said word of the day yet. They might. Haven't even talked about the Prop 8 thing yet. That'd be a spicy one. Yeah. Nah. Hi, gang. This is Woods. And your old pal, L-O-B. When I go... How do you like those garbage days? I was just going to say, when I go looking for flowers, I can always see them clearly, because I have...
Perfect vision. I went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff, and got LASIK surgery about a year and a half ago, and been the best move I've ever made. How about yourself? Oh, yeah. They have a state-of-the-art facility. It's beautiful, too. It almost looks like a spa. They do not have Gerber Daisies. Hey, when you were making out with Ben Harper, did he ask you why you didn't have glasses on? Well, I did have glasses on when I met him. I did not make out with him, but I have since. had the eye LASIK surgery from Dr. Sandy T. Feldman. And it is, hands down, I can say this and know that it's a true statement, the best thing that I have ever done. Yeah, so if you're looking for Gerber daisies or French kissing rock stars, then you need to go to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Give them a call today, 858-452-3937. That's 858-452-3937. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, affordability, technology, and experience. If you want the prices you love for Valentine's Day, there's only one place to go. Valentine's Day is coming up soon. And instead of going out, we're going to have a romantic dinner in. Which is why I'm going to Albertsons. This year we're going to celebrate with my favorite meal, Surf and Turf. Because Albertsons has great prices on ribeye steaks and lobster tails. I'll just grab some butter for melting and potatoes for baking. And while I'm in the produce department, I'm also going to pick up some Cutie's Tangerines.
Hey, they may not be for my Valentine's dinner, but I am in love with that sweet, cute fruit. Albertsons, when it comes to great deals for Valentine's Day or any day, I only have eyes for you. Shop at your neighborhood Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Celebrate Valentine's Day with surf and turf. Albertsons beef bone-in ribeye steaks are priced at just $4.99 a pound, and three-ounce North Atlantic cold-water lobster tails are just $3.99 each. Plus, pick up Cutie Tangerines because three-pound bags are a low $2.99. Find these savings and more at Albertsons. Cricket presents Obvious Choices, where making a good choice is also an easy choice. Take drum solos. You could go with... Or go wild. And with unlimited music, Cricket is the obvious choice in wireless plans, too. That's millions of songs, plus nationwide talk, text, and data, starting at only $55 a month. Switch to Cricut now and get the ZTE Score Android smartphone for only $49.99 when you transfer your number. Facebook, Shazam, plus thousands of more apps, all with no contract. The choice is pretty easy. Head to mycricut.com today. Cricut.
Your call. Limited time offer. Requires new activation. See store for plan, data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text and data plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. When you wake up, 10 News has what you need to start your day. On your phone, online or on TV. The best coverage of breaking news. Overnight developments and weather. from where you live. Your news on any device. Wake up with 10 News, San Diego's news source. All new on The Doctors. How to take control of your hormones. So important. To avoid weight gain, mood swings, even acne, and more. The new option for decreasing hot flashes. Plus, a simple way to beat the winter blues. A device to help put people in a better mood. Also, the new perfume that can heat up your love life. And that's supposed to increase testosterone levels for guys. Pretty cool, right? All new on The Doctors. Today at 4 on ABC 10.
The view of a key US ally in the war on terror looks much different from the inside. 10 News reporter Joe Little returns from Pakistan and unveils a difference in media so surprising it will change how you look at TV. Today, only on 10 News at 5. An open letter to a fallen tree in the road from a new BMW 3 Series driver. Dear fallen tree in the road, this isn't a good time for me. Sabrina has ballet and Ian has to get another haircut. Listen to me going on. I know things aren't great for you either, seeing as you're snapped in two across the road and all, but it could have been a lot worse if I hadn't seen you. Luckily, I did, thanks to the head-up display in my all-new 2012 BMW 3 Series. It shows my speed, turn-by-turn directions, and lane departure warnings while I keep my eyes focused on the road ahead. Plus, the 3 Series is the only car in its class to offer it. But, fallen tree in the road, what I really want to know is, how would you feel about becoming a dining room table? The all-new 2012 BMW 3 Series with head-up display. We only make one thing, the ultimate driving machine. Experience the all-new redesigned BMW 3 Series with no-cost maintenance at your San Diego County BMW centers today. Visit sdcountybmw.com to find the BMW center near you.
Lisa, I can't believe how much we have in common. And we just met. I know. We like the same music, the same movies. We even finish each other's sentences. Ready, Lisa? Oh, Ethan, meet Roberto, my boyfriend. Hola. Love isn't always easy, unless you're talking about the Honda Easy to Love sale. Right now, through February 14th, all nine Honda dealers of San Diego County have great deals and lease offers on just about every Honda in stock. Visit your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Call me. Hey, this is Jay with The Mikey Show, and I wanted to tell you about my good friends over at the Professional Contractor Supply, formerly known as Tool Up. Ryan, the guy that runs the place, is hooking it up. If you're in the market for just about any tool, stop by their big sales. Saturday, February 18th from 8 to 3 p.m. Everything DeWalt will be sold at cost. Check out the new 20-volt line from DeWalt. More power, longer run time, and the best warranting class. You've got to check out this showroom. It's 10,000 square feet. The address is 9660 Chesapeake Drive, right off the 15 Freeway in the Claremont Boulevard. That event date, again, is February 18th. Stop by Professional Contractor Supply. Pick up that tool you've been dreaming about. Oh, yeah, and grab some free lunch from 11 to 2. Monster Energy Super. Brought to you locally by Subway Restaurants. Don't miss your chance to meet the riders and get their autographs.
Find out how to get a little more fun out of winter at the REI Winter Clearance going on February 10th through the 20th. Save up to 30% on select ski and snowboard gear. And save up to 50% on end-of-season clearance clothing and footwear. Stop by any of our convenient locations to shop top brand names like the North Face, Marmot, Patagonia, and Columbia. Or visit us at REI.com. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Jula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center in Sanitas and San Diego or shop REI.com. With H&R Block Office online, mobile, and block live, you can now prepare and file your taxes wherever, whenever, and however you like. H&R Block. Never settle for less.
This report, it's brought to you by Del Taco. Get to Del Taco for huge savings on huge taco flavor. Four regular tacos for $2. Four tacos with seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, freshly grated cheddar cheese in a crunchy or soft shell for just $2 at Del Taco for a limited time only. Heading towards El Cajon, you got some slowing here on the 54 southbound Main Street all the way down to Fury Lane. And its speeds are in the late 20s, about 29 miles an hour. Also, the 5 northbound 9th Street Plaza Boulevard looks like all the way to the 54 eastbound. It's between 18 and 30 miles an hour in that area. And some backup on the 163 southbound. You've got delays from Washington Street to Robinson, about 32 miles an hour with an accident on the 163 southbound right past Robinson Avenue. This report brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It's the top choice of doctors, nurses, and health professionals. Now it can be yours. The Exergen Temporal Thermometer. Get yours at Supercenter, Sam's Club, and other fine retailers today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird, Bird Surf Shed, with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. Don't forget, this Saturday, the San Diego premiere of the movie Splinter is showing at Bird Surf Shed. Doors open at 6.30. The show starts at 8. This is an award-winning documentary about surfing in Papua New Guinea. Not to be missed. Take advantage of it. SurfWise today has cleaned up some. That little storm front moved through, at least for right now. We do expect it to reform again by tomorrow. Broken up waves out there, a kind of mishmash of different directions out of the west, northwest, southwest. Reef breaks with a high tide looking pretty bleak. Beach breaks have a few corners, too. Water quality likely to be a bit murky out there. We did have significant rain yesterday, so you can expect that to have washed off into the ocean. So kind of iffy paddling out right now. Have to see which way the day goes. Mega high tides in the morning, slowing most spots down, dropping off to negative lows later in the afternoon. So plan your sessions accordingly.
For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And this Saturday, at Bird Surfshed, I will see you for the San Diego premiere of the movie Splinters. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz Bergamont body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm an all-American man. I eat a Kraft American Singles. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for this jugular. On FM 94.9. Here's what we've learned today. Megan is a very eligible bachelorette. Apparently.
L.O.B. made out with Ben Harper. I did. Yeah. I'm trying to guess Bill's Ben Harper. Woods likes Kerber days. Very much. I hope that you plan on making a morning of it with us on Friday, February 17th. Yeah. That's not that far away. Let's see. Tomorrow is Thursday, so it'll be a week from Friday. We'll be doing a live broadcast, 5.30 in the morning to 9. And we want to have you come out and hang with us. And so, yeah, L.O.B.'s going to be dancing. She's going to be doing her Pussycat Dolls dance. Ten other M1 girls. That was Jay playing that. Obviously. Jamie said it's her absolute favorite part of our show. His gig like that. Exactly. So, make sure you're there. It's going to be a good time. L.O.B. Pussycat dolling it up. Yes. On stage with a bunch of girls. It is going to be really sexy. It's not going to be scandalous. Panties and brawls. No. Oh, and I did get the word it's all ages. It is. In case anyone was worried about it being 18 and up. It's free. Yep, free. You can pay for drinks and food, but it's free to get in. Yep. You get to watch a live broadcast. Fruitcake's on the line. Hi, Fruitcake.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. Wait a minute. Hello? There he is. How are you, my little Mexie Mel? I'm good. How are you? I am good. I heard the segment about woods and the daisies, and it sounds a little femme. It sounds a bit femme. Yeah, I guess you could say that. I mean, we didn't expect it. Hey, I have a question for you, Mike. Yeah. Did I leave? Did you find an umbrella laying around the studio? No. How about an old bag? No, I don't think so. I was talking about Jay. Oh, wow. Is he still there? Yeah, I'm right here. Wait, why does a cake need an umbrella and bag? I'm good. Do you have an umbrella? Yeah, what is a cake? You're a cake. You're a fruitcake. You're an actual fruitcake. For those of you just tuning in and have never heard fruitcake, he's an actual fruitcake from Vaughn's. Been there since the 70s. I'm not at Vaughn's. I'm not at Vaughn's. Not anymore. I'm not at Vaughn's. No, he's not at Vaughn's anymore. He's in Fort Lauderdale. He's in Fort Lauderdale.
I'm on the circuit and just kicking ass. Yeah, we talked about that last time you called in. He does the karaoke circuit. Yeah, I do a karaoke circuit. It's all through Florida, some parts of Georgia. I'm hoping to get my certification that I can go to South Carolina. Certification? Certification. So what do you win? Have you won anything recently? Have I won anything? $50 gift card to Applebee's. That is. Does that do anything for you? Yeah, something that is. Something else. Yeah, I've worked some new stuff into the set. You like the harder stuff. That's what she said. Yes, I do. I do like the hard stuff, the high hard stuff. All right, fruitcake. I've worked some stuff into my set. I want to see what you think. What have you got? Okay, are you ready for this? Yes, I am. You take a mortal man and you put him in control. Watch him become a god.
Watch people's heads roll. Just like the Pied Piper mic. Let's go through the streets, Mike. We dance like the marionettes, Mike. We sway to the symphony of destruction. So, wow. Fruitcake. That's good throat work. Fruitcake does, he does metal, you know. You prefer that. That is Megadeth. Dave Mustaine. Yeah, we got that. It was Megadeth. It's just so interesting. You know, I wouldn't take you necessarily for the... Don't judge a fruitcake by its cover. Okay. All right. All right. Speaking of covers, have you got any others? Absolutely. You ready for this one? Yeah. Are you ready? Yep. A modern day warrior, mean, mean stride. Today's Tom Sawyer, mean, mean pride.
Thank you. Thank you, Fruitcake. Wow. Mike. Mike. Fruitcake. He likes to work your name in there. Yeah, why do you put my name in there? I have one more I wanted to do, and this is one I've just been working on. You do the musical instrument parts, too? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Because you don't have the music to accompany you, so you have to. Yeah. All right. What do you got? Wow. That's the most worked fruitcake in a long time. Interesting. All out of breath. Show tunes. Man. Wow. Fruitcake worked up a sweat. It's a cake that sings karaoke. It's a cake, yeah.
Metal karaoke. Metal karaoke. I would venture to guess that there are not a lot of morning shows that do a cake that calls in and sings metal karaoke. Yeah. It's a guess. It's a guess. It could be. It could be, but I'm going to venture to guess that there are not a lot of cakes that sing karaoke. And do the music with the karaoke. I got snot all over myself. All right. Mike. Mike. We're going to do, are you out there? Are you out there? Is there anybody out there that ever got snagged in barbed wire? In a barbed wire fence? Bobbed wire? Yeah, as Jay said, bob wire. Bobbed wire. Bob wire. No, barbed wire. Barbed wire. Oh, man. If you ever got snagged in barbed wire in a barbed wire fence, how did you do it? What happened? How'd you get out? Yeah, 570-1949. How'd you get out? I did. You did what? On a four-wheeler at my in-law's house, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. They have this huge spread of land in New Mexico. I'm not on the four-wheeler for five minutes. Five minutes. And I'm riding through the woods. I see some old shack. So I'm like, go check it out. Right. I ride right.
through the freaking barbed wire that I didn't see. It wraps through the axles on the tire up my leg. I'm like, oh my gosh. Broke the four-wheeler. We had to get wire cutters. Five minutes I was on it. Five minutes. How did you not see the fence? I didn't see the barbed wire. It was down on the ground. Oh my God. My wife's like, you're such an idiot. Were you bleeding and stuff? Bleeding through my leg. I didn't care about me. I wanted to not break their four-wheeler. It's expensive. Wire cutters. I'm under it. Laying in snow. Too inquisitive. I'm too inquisitive. I had to see what was in that shack. Too inquisitive. Oh, man. No, don't stick to the trails. Go off-roading on it, you Nimrod. What's in the shack? Yeah, what's in the shack? Are they making meth in there? We actually grew up on a farm, and my sister got thrown off her horse into a barbed wire fence. Oh, my gosh. My dad had to come and pull all the barbs out of her. Dude. Oh, my God. Of course, I'd love to throw you off into Bobwire. I'll tell you what. It's Barb... Bobwire. Jay, watch my mouth. Just follow me. Ready? Bobwire. Bobwire. Bobwire. Bobwire. Okay, there you go. He got it. He got it. Wow. Is there anything crazier than that freaking razor wire that they use? Oh, my gosh. Not stuff filthy? Isn't that stuff filthy? We had that around a radio station that I worked at, and I was moving it to...
put the shed in and I got hung up on it. It just got enough in the skin where I couldn't move. I was just like, okay, okay, okay. You know what I've always wondered about barbed wire and that razor wire? I'd like to see an episode of how they make that junk. Can you imagine working around that? Shipping it? Handle it? Does it come in a big wrap? A roll? Barbed wire's not that big a deal to work with. What's barbed wire? Barbed. What is barbed wire? Barbed wire. Hey, who's barbed wire? Barbed wire's not that big a deal. The new sales rep here? Yes, he works in the building. My dad worked with it all the time, putting fence up. But that razor wire, you're right. That stuff is... No way. When your dad worked with that stuff, how do you put that stuff? Just leather gloves. He had leather gloves, and we'd strip it and put it on the fence. Was it a spool? It's a big spool, yeah. Ouch. And you'd hook it on the back of the truck, and you'd drive down. Because we lived on a farm, and we'd just run it forever. Imagine if you didn't have the glove on and just took it and just... And it kept going, and you were holding it? I guess they spooled it. That's the deal. M1 Roy is on the line from Vista. You there? Hey, yo. What's your story? Hey, so listen to this, guys. I'm working with a guy building me some stuff from my house, and I'm checking out his shop, and he's describing to me now, you have to understand, this guy's kind of got, I wouldn't say speech impediment, but he sounds like Elmer Foote. Okay. So identical speech impediment. Yes.
Yeah, so, you know, I see a lot of the J stuff come out in this guy. He's describing to me how his shop recently got robbed and how they stole all the copper wire from a machine. Yeah, I know exactly what he's saying. And I'm saying to myself, well, it looks like they came in over the fence over there. What if you put up razor wire? And, man, I walk this guy into this sentence. He looks right at me. He goes, are you kidding me? Wait, the wire's a wiggle. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ways of Ways of Eagle. Ways of Ways of Eagle. Ways of Ways of Eagle. See, in a situation like that, he has to understand that it's going to be difficult for you. You're just human. Yeah. You're just a human being. You're only human. I just need to walk him right into it. You know, I felt bad afterwards. Like, oh, man. And I'm trying not to laugh. Well, of course. But Ways of Ways of Ways of Eagle. I would pee in my pants. That's tough. To stay straight-faced through that. I tell that story all the time now. It's genius. Oh, man. Thank you. There you go. M1AJ from Encinitas. Go ahead. Yeah, embarrassing. 12 years old, back in the early 80s. Anyone remember ATVs, the three-wheelers? Oh, yeah. Had one. Scary. Yeah, so do I. They don't turn very well. No. I'm with my dad at his friend's house.
And there's a 16-year-old girl who's really cute. I'm 12, so I want to show off. I'm riding this ATV around in circles, around in circles. And, yeah, I went too fast around a quarter. I was probably going 10 miles an hour. Not very fast. And I end up in the barbed wire. Not busting straight through it, but at an angle. And I'm wrapped up in it. I look like the great escape, Steve McQueen. Oh, yeah. Did you cry? I was scared. Because crying in front of the 16-year-old is even worse. Yeah, so here's the part. They had to take my pants off to get me out of it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Like, it couldn't get more mortifying. But your 12-year-old piece has to be exposed now, too. Oh, no. Oh, that's just the worst. Oh, the worst. I would have moved. I would have told my parents, I'm moving. And I'm moving to Nome. And you're either going to Nome with me or that's it. How about military school? How's that sound? Ship me off tomorrow. Should you guys end up dating or what happened? I never look back. I just can't. Thank you for the story. That's a great story. M1 Chris from North Park. You there?
Hey, good morning, Mikey. You have a razor wire story. Yeah, it's actually called a constant teen wire. And all the military guys use it over in Iraq, Afghanistan. We use it just basically to line roads so that if cars try to drive through, oh, it messes up cars really bad. Yeah. So we're out in Iraq. It's 2004. I was the medic for one of my units and set up some of that stuff out on a road. We're all sleeping in our trucks. Buddy of mine wakes up at 2 a.m., kind of in a daze, goes out to take a piss. And we hear screaming at about 2.30 a.m. at the top of their lungs. You get about 10 guys busting out of their trucks, guns locked, loaded, ready to go. Oh, no. And our buddy's got his pants down by his butt, and he's caught up in about three feet of constant gear. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And so do you guys with flashlights have to figure that out? Oh, yeah. No, I was the corpsman. I was the medic. I'm in there trying to cut it out myself, plus try to keep him from bleeding all over the place. Question. Shoot. Do you give him something immediately for pain or do you just have to work through it? Oh, no, he'll be fine. He'll work right through that stuff. So nothing for pain? No, I threw him a couple ibuprofen. I mean, wait, wait, wait. So at the moment, dude is in what you call constantine wire, which is basically razor wire. You are the medic trying to get it untangled and off of him. And he gets ibuprofen.
Yeah, that's it. You guys are men, dude. You guys are men. How do you even be prepared for that situation? I know. They never really train you. Hey, what happens when your legs get caught up on constant teamwork while you're trying to use the bathroom? Yeah, you just do the best you can in that space. So, did he have to have stitches? Yeah, I actually gave him a few sutures. He had a couple pretty decent cuts on his thighs and his cap. He didn't get his dong in there, did he? No, luckily. Oh, thank God. If you'd fallen tall. Hello, B. Hello, B. Oh, my God. My goodness. Thank goodness. Thank God. That would be so bad. Razor wire on your dong is not a good one. Nobody wins. Thank you very much. I don't even have one and it hurts. Thank you very much for the call. No worries, guys. Have a good one. M1 Surf Daddy from Cardiff, you there? Yeah, bro. How's it going? Good. What's your story? It's kind of similar to Woodsy, man. That razor wire is no joke, though. That's gnarly. Yeah. But no, me and a buddy were out in Ocotillo riding quads around, and we were all geared up and everything, man, and he kind of got off on his own little trail, and we were like probably going, I'd say like 40 miles an hour anyway. Oh, gosh. He starts cruising away from me, and I see him veering off, and all of a sudden, I just see this thing clothesline him about right underneath his neck. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oh, God.
Ripped his shirt, ripped his gear completely off, dude. The quad went through the bottom part of the barbed wire and ripped the two posts down, and the top one caught his chest right there. Oh. Left him hanging. Dude, it was so gnarly, man. Did it? It lifelighted out of there. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. Ocotillo Wells and no help. Over by Split Mountain, yeah. We were out there for like an hour before they even showed up. It was insane. Why are all these people putting up these like low barbed wire fences? It was out in the middle of nowhere, too. There was no reason for it. Isn't that weird? Like, what's it for out there? It probably used to be to keep something in. It looked like it was like an old cattle ring or something. Oh, my gosh. Like some old railroad ties. It was just out in the middle of nowhere. It was wild. Hey, thanks for the call, man. No worries, guys. Have a good day. M1 Vroom from IB. Are you there? Hi. Hi. A couple years ago, I went to Oregon to visit my dad, and I was with my sister, and I had never been there. It was really beautiful. It was really green. A lot of, you know, horses, and it was just really pretty. So we were taking pictures, and I had my sister's really expensive camera, and we stopped in front of a ranch, and we saw the rancher guys, and, you know, the fence was the barbed wire.
And I thought, well, I'm just going to lean into it to, you know, get a really good picture. And the rancher guys, you know, like the cowboys, they're like waving at me. And I'm like, hey, guys. You know, whatever. And they're waving at me like, you know, frantically. So I lean into it and I didn't realize right between the barbed that it was an electrical barbed wire. Oh my gosh. And it kicked me back about three feet. Oh my gosh. The camera was around my neck because my sister would have killed me if I'd broken her camera. Oh my gosh. So you got zapped by an electrified fence that was barbed wire. For cattle. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Did the cowboys come over, offer any help? No, they were laughing. Oh, my gosh. Oh, killer. Oh, my gosh. What do you look like? I am 5'2", half Dutch, half Mexican. You're a Mexican. She's a small girl that got zapped by barbed wire that was electrified. It was great. Wow. One of the best stories I have. Thanks for the story.
No problem. We appreciate you. Yeah, we do. Okay, bye. M1 cave dweller from Wisconsin. Good morning, you sexy beast. Good morning, you beast. So in 2008, I was in Haditha, and we were building a command outpost, and we were using concertina wire, and it comes in these bales, and they're, you know, several hundred pounds, and we're loading it. Razor wire. Yeah. So we're loading it back onto... The trailer, which is going to take all the supplies back, and it kind of bounces and starts to roll off. Oh, no. And a staff sergeant in my platoon, without even thinking, because it was going to roll off, like, on him, he puts his hands up and catches it. No, no, no. You can't do that. Don't do that. You know what? You know what, though? Honestly, it was a better alternative than it falling on him. Well, you know, or, you know, jumping the hell out of the way. Get out of the way, maybe? Get out of the way, yeah. Oh, gosh. So he grabbed onto it? You could have tracked him like a shot deer. Blood. Yep. Just blood everywhere? Blood trail. His hands were just shredded. Oh, my gosh. That stuff is deadly. Yeah, it's filthy. That razor wire stuff. Hey, thanks for the call. Yep.
Still haven't said word of the day. Got a text that said Mikey. Woods mentioned last week that he had been in jail once. It's my worst fear. If he is willing, can he talk about it? You willing to talk about it? Sure. When we come back. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. For more than a century, Azusa Pacific University has provided excellence in Christian higher education. Earn your degree in less than two years by attending class one night a week in a format designed for working professionals like you. Go to apu.edu, keyword San Diego. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. I am very excited for this Saturday. It is Padres Fan Fest. It is at Fenway Park. My God, look where my brains are. It's at Petco Park.
And it's a really cool thing. This will be the third year in a row that I've gotten to go to Padres Fan Fest. And what you can do is you bring your kids, make sure you bring their gloves, and you get to run around the field. You get to run the bases. You get to do all the good stuff that pro ballplayers get to do. I love going out there. It's always a beautiful day and such a good time. So there are pitching and hitting clinics. There's an autograph session, question and answer forum with several Padres players and front office personnel. They're going to also, you can buy tickets when you're out there. They also have a garage sale that you can buy a bunch of cool stuff, gear, all the gear you need for the season. So let me give you the details that you need. Get out to Padres Fan Fest this weekend. It's 10 to 5. I'm going to be out there probably about 2.33 o'clock hanging out at Petco Park. It's going to be incredible. It's Padres Fan Fest 2012. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola, now in black, white, and purple, the perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet.
Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple. Now make me love the price. And he says, no problem. Because right now, you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. Four colors, same edge. Droid Razor. Connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network. Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash Best Network. Smart Energy Supercross. Featuring Toyota, vehicle of Supercross. Don't miss your chance to meet the riders and get their autographs. Stop by any Smart & Final location and pick up your can of Monster Energy to recycle at the pit entrance for your free admission to the pit party. Smart & Final, the smaller, faster warehouse. Get tickets for the box office, ticket master, or participating Yamaha dealers. Tickets subject to convenience charges. What's the day of show? This Saturday, walk on stadium. Manor shine. Leslie French was hunkered down for a fight. I was just at the dealership looking for a car. Lured in by the enemy. No, it was pretty cordial, but I did need a car loan fast. There was no time. I called Navy Federal Credit Union. A really nice guy approved me for a loan on the spot. Great rate, too. Victory was hers. Well, uh...
Convertible was mine. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD, and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Hey, guys. This is Woodsy for NutriShop. And I've got to tell you, the best part about a New Year's resolution is actually keeping it. That's what I've been doing. I've been going to NutriShop, getting supplements, been hitting the gym, eating better. All this I owe to NutriShop. If you haven't been, you need to go check them out. They can do so much for you in there. They can do a customized meal plan. They're going to give you the guaranteed best prices on supplements. Look, I know that you've probably already blown off your New Year's resolutions. Well, you can always get them back. You've got to start by going to NutriShop. They've got two locations for you. There's one in Mission Valley on Mission Center Road, and there's one in Eastlake on Eastlake Parkway. Get over to NutriShop today. Tell them that Woodsy from the Mikey Show sent you. There is so much that they can do for you as far as getting you on the right meal plan, getting you the right supplements for what you need. Go to NutriShopUSA.com. The Ovation Nation just keeps growing. Over 200,000 customers have repaired dry, brittle, and damaged hair with Ovation Cell Therapy. I'm thrilled to report that Ovation does everything you said it would and more. I couldn't be happier with the results. My hair holds a curl all day. My hair is thicker and shinier than it's ever been, and it's growing.
It really is a miraculous revolution. I'm a believer and I'm telling anyone who will listen, Ovation is an amazing product. Ovation Cell Therapy can help repair the damage caused by harsh chemicals and heat styling and grow your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Ovation is safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. And it's easy to use. Just a simple cream rinse type application. Learn how your hair can become healthy again. Log on to OvationHair.com and when you enter FM 94.9, you'll receive a special introductory discount at checkout. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 at checkout for your... special discount the ovation nation just keeps growing valentine's day is almost here but this time you are ready you reach into your pocket and hand her a heart-shaped box of chocolates her look says how sweet and then she opens it and you know she'll remember this moment forever this valentine's day turn a special moment into a forever moment with the diamond heart pendant necklace from ben bridge jeweler
A sparkling, brilliant cut diamond gracefully embraced in a heart of sterling silver. Hidden inside a heart-shaped box of Seattle chocolates, it's a sweet gift. And at just $99, an affordable extravagance. The Diamond Heart Pendant Necklace from Ben Bridge Jeweler. Celebrating a century as your personal jeweler. Fashion Valley and all major malls. Valentine's Day is your last chance to enter the Benbridge $100,000 wedding of the century sweepstakes. You could win $100,000 in jewelry, cash, and honeymoon prizes. Visit Benbridge on Facebook to enter. Get ready to feel the love at T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. Because for one day only, all 4G smartphones in the store are free when you switch to T-Mobile. Whoa, did you say all 4G smartphones? Yep, every phone is free. What about those 4G super phones, like the Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every phone is free. So you can get a... Free Galaxy S2 and watch movies or stream live TV right on your phone. Thanks to T-Mobile's lightning fast 4G network. Wait, how about that brand new Nokia Lumia 710 and the HTC Amaze 4G? Free and free. Oh yeah, what about tablets? Oh yeah, some of our best 4G tablets are free too. Okay, I think I love you. This Saturday is T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. All 4G smartphones are free when you switch to America's largest 4G network. Even our latest 4G Windows phone, Android and BlackBerry smartphones.
Hurry in this Saturday, February 11th, and share the love. New two-year contract on qualifying classic plan required. Mail and rebate card may apply while supplies last. 4G HSPA Plus network not available everywhere. See participating stores for details. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union's proud to introduce SDCCU Mobile Deposit. It's super easy. Just check, snap, deposit, enroll today at SDCCU.com. Well, we're starting to see a lot of activity on the freeways. A couple of incidents here, one on the westbound of the 5 North connector. No further information on it. I'm seeing a small backup in front of it. Then as you travel into La Mesa, you've got an accident here on the 8 eastbound past Fletcher Parkway. No injuries, but again, a big backup here from Fletcher Parkway to Jackson Drive in the teens. Two accidents on the 805, the 805 northbound before 54 East, and then the 805 northbound before Plaza Boulevard, both creating a significant delay. This report brought to you by CBS 8. Women take on the ultimate question, why do men cheat? A candid talk on Anderson, today at 4 on CBS 8, followed by News 8 at 5. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9.
Financial media station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized since days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. For whatever reason, I don't know what made me think of that. I just started telling Woods the funniest scenes in the first Jackass. I saw that movie in Dallas and it was one of the only movies that I've ever seen where I was embarrassed of how loud I was laughing. And it's just guy stuff. But there was not, I had never seen anything funnier at that time. And that point in my life, I'd never seen anything funnier than the guy that went number two inside the Home Depot where they sold toilets.
And he was reading the newspaper. He was sitting there doing his business, and he was reading the newspaper. Now, do I recommend this? No. Do I condone it? No. But was it one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life? Absolutely. Unequivocally. There is one stunt on that first jackass that I have wanted to do my entire life, and it's when the guys are on the golfing tee, and they're about to jump in. They're all in. Hunter's gear. And right as he takes his backswing, they blow that horn. Because golfers are a-holes. And you can quote me on that. They are a-holes from the first one to the last one. And boy, they don't like to be disturbed in their backswing. And they're blowing that horn at those guys. I've wanted to do that my entire life. The first jackass was genius. I will honk. If I'm on the street, ask my wife. If I'm driving up Lucania and I see a guy that's actually, I walk. That is a true story. That is awful. I get so mad when people do anything. I do it. I do it. I don't condone it. I don't think it's right. But it's funny. But it just, it makes me laugh. That's funny. My dad got hit in the boys that way. No. Yes. By what?
My uncle somehow hit behind him because somebody coughed in his backside. Oh, please. And so it popped up and hit my dad square in the nuts. You need that kind of focus. He had, like, purple. Not that I saw. Gross. He was, like, black and blue. Look at this. Look what I got. He was genuinely, like, mad at my uncle for a long time. He hit him square in the nuts. I mean, if I go golfing with buddies, good friends, and I will. Always. And I'll wait about 13 holes in when I get real bored. Golf should be 12 holes. Yeah. I think nine. I get real bored. So when my buddy goes for his backswing, I'll just go. Oh my gosh. I would kill you. And they get so mad. I would kill you. I'm like, what are we at? Pebble Beach? How serious is this? Good God. It's not fun anymore when someone does that. Oh, the golfer needs silence. What if they did that at a football game? Like, oh, okay, right. Yeah. Quiet. Oh, excuse me. I hear you and Adam complain about that, Jay, when you guys play ping pong in the studio. We're just being funny, though. Don't talk in my backswing. We're just being funny. Oh, they yell at me all the time. Listen, all that stuff, gosh, that stuff makes me laugh. Oh, man. It is the guy's humor. And there's another one where they were planning to go into the Home Depot, and the guy couldn't hold it getting out of the truck. It's brilliant. My wife does not get it.
Like that humor to her, it won't even crack a smile. Pooping in the streets. The pooping at all. You know, poop humor just doesn't. I'll literally have tears pouring down my face with doo-doo humor because I'm a guy. And I don't think guys ever outgrow that. Like from the time we're little kids up until the time that we're adults. It just is funny. Girls like it. when they're younger. Yeah. And then they grow out of it. You guys, like double deckers in high school, that was hilarious. My brother and I, my brother and I today, you know, I talked to my brother every day driving in and he said that he believes that girls make fun of each other when they're just the two of them. And I go, I don't think so, Mark. Like break balls? Yes. Like I said, because we got into a conversation about how I prefer the company of women more than I prefer the company of men. And he said, why? I said, well, I said, there's a certain expectation with men. I said, men, they like to make fun of you. And I said, and I'm sensitive and I get my feelings hurt. I said, women don't usually bust balls. He goes, that's not true. And he said, I said, what do you mean? And he goes, maybe they don't do that to guys, which we're generalizing here, okay? It's just generalization because LLB will bust balls with the best of them.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. She'll bust mine all the time. This is actually my favorite pastime. However, however, in general, girls don't do that. Guys do. Okay? In general. That was my throat. I thought that was mine. No, it was mine. In general, guys do that more than girls. But my brother says, no, when girls are together. They'll bust each other's balls. And I go, no, they don't, Mark. No, your brother's full of it. He's full of it. I will with a couple of girls, a handful of girls. This is why I have the old cliche, I've got more girlfriends than girlfriends. Yeah. Because you can't really. A lot of girls are super sensitive. Or it's just like, it doesn't come off as a joke. It comes off as like an insult. Catty. Yeah. Right. And he said that when girls are little. He believes that you do that when you're little. You make fun of each other. And that when you grow up, you don't do it anymore to men. You do it meanly. You do it to girls. You don't do it nicely. Yeah, you're not joking around. You're mean. Yeah, you either boss girls around like I did or you make little mean snide remarks. Yeah. Well, the whole conversation was fascinating to me because I always have felt safer around girls because they don't do that as much. I'm sorry, Mike.
No, no, no, no, no, no. When you do it, it's just wacky because it's you. You should go on a trip with Jay. Yeah, let's go somewhere. Oh, my gosh. I bet that's all it is. And I told Mark, too, I said, I don't like talking like. A dude. Yeah. Dude talk. I'm not a dude talker. No, I am. Yeah. And, you know, because you're a guy's guy. Yeah, he is. I'm not. I'm really not. I'm not. Sitting around talking about tees. Yeah, I think you guys are all guy talkers. I don't know. I mean, I think most guys are way more guy talkers than we are. I really do. I've experienced the guy talk that goes on around here. It ain't as hardcore as guy talk I've seen. If I were gone, maybe it would be. Oh, yeah. Maybe. We filter a little bit. You don't have to filter much around LLB. Not much offends her. I said something to her yesterday in the morning that was very offensive. You did? Yeah. Very offensive. In one ear out the other. And she goes. Huh. And I go, yeah, this is a true statement. She looked at me like, okay, that was one way to put it. Now I think I remember. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. If you could write a novel between all of the things that you two say to each other. Let me see, let me see, let me see. It is like a dirty coffee talk.
You said that, those two words? Yeah, I said there's a lot of that there. I said I had never heard that. A lot of that where? Wherever I was. You were at a place. I was at a food store. Oh, yes. I was at a food store. What I'll tell you is, is that Woods was saying that there was a lot of pretty girls. But instead of saying pretty girls, he said something else. He said a phrase I've never heard. Yeah, we don't need it. I'm just saying I've never heard it. Hot something. Woods. What? I didn't say it. I know that. I know that. But if I say, if I say, uh-uh. then it doesn't mean that you have to give 50%. It's like 20%. It was half. That's true. You guys say a lot of things. I just make the gestures. It's more fun that way. I can't get called on it. She's a gesture. There's no record of it. Oh, she says stuff. And she says stuff. She says plenty of stuff. Today's meeting day, so it's always a fun day around here to listen to her disgusting stuff. I forgot to come up with ideas. Don't answer to me. No answer to her. You know who you got to answer to. His name's Jason R. Isabel. Oh, I thought you meant the big man upstairs. Look at him, too. Maybe you can just bring your best friend's stuff in. Oh, God. Not really. No one knows what he's talking about. I'm hiding. Except for us. A friend of mine gave me some good ideas for the show. And I came in and I admitted it. I go, hey, a friend of mine had these ideas.
Ever since then, Jay has said to me, why don't you just have your friend come up with some more ideas for our show. Meanwhile, Jay copies and pastes. Not true. It's not true. Jay copies and pastes every idea he has. Not true. I call BS. He gets articles and he'll just, he'll copy and paste the headline. Sometimes he'll come in and he can't, he's trying to figure out the idea that someone had. A lot of squinting going on. Yeah, and he's reading it and he goes, okay, Mac. How about this one? I take the time to write mine out. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I said... Wait. Wait. It's got to be your girlfriend. It's your... Your... Wait. If your girlfriend... Wait. Wait. Should we talk about wives since we're all married? I didn't mean girlfriend. I didn't mean say girlfriend. Ask your girlfriend what she wants for Valentine's Day. I understand when you're jealous. There's such good ideas that you guys get jealous. It's okay. Hey. Mike, let's do a...
Let's do baby dying. Yeah, it's copy or paste or it's morbidly sad. Depressing. And depressing. Or it's so far over the line sexually that there's like Stern would be like, oh, we can't do that. Suicide stories. Do those. Yeah, like your favorite and funniest one. How about sex that ended in suicide? Right. Combine the two. Yeah, he'll combine them. I'm on Lunchbox from El Cajon. What was the word of the day? The word of the day is nothing. It was me, sorry. You're a winner. It's a wild boar in the city. I think everyone's high today. I'm high on blueberries. High on Advil cold and sinus. How about you, Woods? Celery and peanut butter. Straight meth. Straight meth for me. You know how I do. House of Blues, February 17th. It's a Friday broadcast, our entire show. It's the first time we've taken our show on the road. That's right. Yeah. Roadshow. We have not done that yet. So this is the first time we'll be out doing a roadshow and you can come out, hang with us. It's all free. Food and drinks you'll pay for, but you get into the House of Blues for free to come watch. I'm going to shake it like a Polaroid picture. There you go, girl. Or like a salt shaker. L-O-B. Or like a weight.
Or like a tail feather. Or like a gift before you open it. Or like a soda you want to explode in someone's face. L.O.B. has a wonderful physique. Yes, she does. And you can come out and see it in fishnets. It will be in fishnets. It will be accentuated. If I were your boyfriend, I would say maybe you wear a robe. He likes it. He does. He likes to see it. Hey, listen. There's the guys that are proud of it, and there's the guys that are, you know, cover it up. He said if I were to dress the way he wanted me to dress, he said that people would think I was a prostitute. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, not that there's anything wrong with that. Well, but there is. Prostitution is against the law and illegal, and it's bad. Some places, Mike. Some places. He was talking about more, like, especially when we go to Vegas. Sweat it up. He wants to pick out what I want. Oh, yeah. Have you ever let him?
Oh, yeah. You've let him dress you real dirty? Yeah, you should have seen me on Halloween a couple years ago. L-O-B? Yeah. Why don't you wear that to here? That does surprise me. Nah, I'm not. She's a tomcat. I guess if you get a couple of drinks... Oh, never mind. That's the sexiest cat I can do. Oh, never mind. It's a cat caught in a mousetrap. Come here, you. Oh, no, please don't. Please don't. No. Please don't. No, I don't want to role play cat. I'm going to cut you. No. No, no. Let's get scratchy. Let's get scratchy. Let's get friendly kitty. Hairball. More like a kitten. So, Woodsy. Yes. People were interested in your time in the clink. Yeah. Oh, I'm not like. I'm not like freaking Malcolm X, but I didn't spend a lot of time in there. You learned from it. It was bad. You did do a hunger strike, though, didn't you? I didn't go away for a long time, but I did, you know, 20 days was my longest stretch. What did you do wrong? I got DUI. And what happened? And then I got another DUI in Arizona. You don't think it's funny? It's not funny. It sucked. Did you live in Arizona? No, I was there on business. Oh, my gosh. Both times? One was in Dallas. Oh, okay.
The other one was probably six months later in Arizona. Now, Arizona will get you. If President Obama went to Arizona today, got a DUI, he's doing 10 days. Period. Flat. So even a celebrity like you did not get a break. I got no pass then. He wasn't Hollywood then. He was just Woods. So I got pulled over in Scottsdale. And they put me in jail for the night. And I got on a plane and flew home. So I hired an attorney and talked to him, and he goes, yeah, you're going to have to do 60 days. Oh, wow. And I said, well, I'm moving to Canada because I'm not doing two months in jail. I have a job. I have a career. I went to college. I'm a college graduate, you know, and I said, I'm not doing it. Did your heart just like sink? Sunk. Sunk. Just like you wouldn't believe. Sunk. Having to tell my dad, having to go to my dad and tell him, hey, I'm going to do 60 days in jail. Oh, wow. So.
I called the judge. I actually talked to the judge on the phone. I said, look, here's the deal. I don't live in Arizona. I have no financial means to get back to Arizona, didn't I? But I just said, can I do it here in Dallas? He said, sure. Find a place. Let us know. We'll clear it. You called the judge in Arizona? Yeah, I talked to him. You got to research the jails you wanted to go? Pretty much. So what did I do? I called the quote-unquote nicest jails in the nicest areas. Yeah, and I literally had the phone book out. I had the phone book out. And I'm calling Highland Park Jail, which is like Rancho Santa Fe Jail. No kidding. They're like, sorry, booked up. It was like calling to make reservations for a hotel. Oh, my gosh. So I told them my situation. So I found one. And they said, yeah, and because we're overcrowded, you get three for one credit. So every day you serve, you get credit for three days. So I said, I'm in. I called the judge back. And I said, this is what they're offering. And he goes, yeah, I got no problem with that. Go do it. So my 60 goes to 20. And I'm like, I can do 20. So I went in. My wife, she was my girlfriend at the time, she's now my wife, Jamie, dropped me off at the jail. I had to go in. Was she sobbing? Oh, just uncontrollably. It was the worst day of my life. There's no question. Don't drink and drive. I mean, truly, you will get, not only can you hurt somebody, and thank God I never hurt anybody other than myself, but the punishment sucks. I mean, having to go there and, you know. Do they make you get naked? Yeah.
Oh, dude. Did they hose you down? Kind of a, not a hose down. They did a powder on you. Do they really? Yeah, they did a powder on us. Gosh. So they made you take off all your clothes? Yeah, nude. They checked under my boys. No way. Oh, yeah. They want to make sure you're not bringing stuff in. What are they? Now, the powder. Yeah. It's like a delousing powder. Yeah. It's kind of on my midsection. Do they shake it on you? Oh, gosh. have it in their hands and just kind of throw it on you. Oh, my gosh. And then you can kind of wipe it off. So then you put your jumpsuit on, which is just awesome, little sandals. And you go in, and the room I was in was, I'd say, 25 beds, bunk beds, lined against two walls, right? And there's 50 dudes in there. And I walked in, got my gear. White guys, black guys, Mexican guys? White guys, black guys, Mexican guys, yeah, the whole thing. And there's a steel table bolted to the floor. There's a few chairs. There's a TV, but it's only on certain times. And then there's showers with no doors, no nothing. What about the potty? Same. No doors. Just in there? Yeah, it's just in there. It's just a toilet. For one and two? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, the whole thing. No door. No door. And didn't you say you never? Maybe once.
In 20 days? In 20 days at one time. I also took about three showers in 20 days, and that's a true story. And I played basketball every day. Oh, man. Like, will you go outside for rec time? Well, it's a good tactic to keep people away from you. Look, I'm never going back. I will never do anything to get me in trouble to go back. I never want to go back there. It's the worst. Wait, wait, wait. And even though it was only 20 days, it was still, it felt like six months. So you only took three showers. Yeah. Now, was it because you were worried about what could happen there? No, I just wasn't real comfortable. You just weren't comfortable doing that. It wasn't that kind of place where they'll hold you down. Yeah. But you're in there with... First of all, I was in there with... There were rapists in there. There were drug dealers. There were guys that beat up their wives. Then there were guys that didn't pay their parking tickets. And there was nobody that was trying to shake you down in there? One guy. One guy tried to shake you down? One guy had a problem with me. And we almost got into a fight on my very... last day in. And I was cleaning. I was cleaning up. Wait, wait, wait. Let's go back. Uh-huh. How did the problem... How were you first aware there was a problem with this guy? He was staring at me. Like, incessantly staring at me. Oh, gosh. He just kept staring at you. Yeah. They call it Hawkeye. And he was Hawkeye-ing me. And he just kept staring at you. He didn't like you or he wanted a taste? He just kept staring. Maybe a little of both. No kidding? Yeah. What'd he look like? He was a Mexican guy.
Big? Small? About my size. I mean, I could have taken him. Six feet tall. Out of fear. Yeah, about six feet tall. Tattoos? Nope. Shaved head. Hair. Head hair. Had kind of longish hair, which was, he looked very strange. Stringy. Stringy. And he was hawk on me. And I mean, it's my last day. So I'm like cleaning stuff. I'm loading my stuff. I'm ready. I'm waiting for the call. Wait, wait, wait. Got to go back. Got to go back. Okay. So the first time you notice him staring at you. You don't say anything, right? I wouldn't either. You don't run mouth in them. Oh, heck no, dude. Those are their favorites. I wouldn't say a word. Yeah, you don't say a word. I wouldn't say a word. So you noticed him staring, didn't say anything. Nope. And he didn't say anything to you? Nope. Sat on his bunk and just stared at me. But every day... Now... He'd only been in there for two days at that point. He had just gotten in. And he just started staring. Okay. Wow. Did you ask anybody, hey, you know anything about this guy? No, but one of my... One of my boys that I met in there, this black guy named John, was like, hey, man, that dude, he's creeping you, dude. Did John have your back? John had my back. Yeah. All the black guys had my back in there. Strange reason. He said. That guy's Hawkeye and he's looking at you. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm getting out today, so I don't care. Right. And he actually came after me. What did he do? He got out of his chair and he walked over to me and kind of started walking towards me. And I moved around the table. Uh-huh.
Moved around. Right. And he started running after me. Oh, my God. And I had cleaning solution in my hand, and I was going to spray him in the face and beat his butt. You had never had a conversation with him? Never said a word to him. And he just started running after me, and the guards came in and grabbed him and took him out. Oh, my gosh. It was awful. So he waited until last day. He knew you were getting out. I don't know. And a lot of times that happens. They want to fight you and keep you in there. And I had a buddy that got in a fight his last day. They gave him two more months. Yep. I was going to say, like. In all honesty, I would have been more scared to go to prison in or jail, I guess, in Texas. Because it would like, if you misbehave, they tack it on. You could like end up on death row by the time. It's true. Well, and you know, the sad part about being in jail is that my girlfriend, who's now my wife, Jamie, is a beautiful, beautiful, blonde, chesty little angel. She would come visit me and the guards would literally pull me aside and they'd go, what are you doing? Like, you got that to go home to? What are you doing? Like, why are you in here? You're an idiot. You know, they would have these conversations with me. Like, she's gorgeous. You seem like a good kid. Get your ass together when you get out of here and don't come back. Yeah. And it was just like, it was, you know, don't ever, don't drink and drive, man. You can't get in trouble. So do you keep in touch with your jail husband? What's a jail husband? Yeah, how slippery was this one in there? What is a jail husband? It's like, he was definitely the catcher. Oh, wow.
I didn't make love to anyone in jail, just for the record. But they made love to you. Yeah. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM. What's up there, hot stuff? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. You can see the fray at House of Blues on the 16th. Jesse LaMonica and the Dime Novels and Blackout Party at the Cow's Paw on the 18th. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady hits the Casbah solo on the 19th. Gomez played the belly up on the 21st. Anya Marina's at the Casbah on the 22nd. And Ra Ra Ryder at the belly up on the 23rd. Still to come, shows from Flogging Molly, Silent Comedy, English Beat, Pussifer, Transfer with Blackout Party. Also Steel Pulse, Rise Against, M Warden, Firehose, The Hives, Tune Yards with St. Vincent. Spiritualized, and Two Weekends of Coachella, and so many others. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Got an amazing deal for you. Just remember the code MikeyShow because you're going to need it when you order 100 Blooms of Love from Pro Flowers. It's $19.99. We're talking about...
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Never settle for less. Well, you've got some backup in a lot of places in this city. On the 8 westbound, Fletcher Parkway down to about the 125 south. It's about 23 miles an hour. Back-to-back accidents here on the 805. The 805 northbound before the 54 east. Tow truck's on the scene. Another one wrapping up on the 805 northbound at Sweetwater Road. And swinging up to the 94. Looks like 94 westbound. An accident, no injuries. It's a 94 at the 5, but a big backup behind it. This report brought to you by Tully's Coffee. Discover a better commute with a rich, slow-roasted cup of Tully's Coffee. Taste why they say the slower the roast, the better the cup. Now available in bags and K-cup packs for Keurig brewers. Tully's Coffee, worth discovering. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like... Gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I have like a self-conscious 16-year-old sophomore that's real chubby. Lauren. I'm starting to feel guilty about it, though, because I'm wondering if I've disrupted the ecosystem at the lake. And Jay. Just because I like to be outdoors, you guys like to make fun of me. On FM 94.9. And Jared at CreateYourDesignOnline.com is standing by, ready for you.
Online.com. Graphic design is amazing. Business card. Website. Whatever you need. Hey, February 17th. Our girl L.O.B. is going to be dancing like a pussycat doll at the House of Blues. And it is going to be open to the public. It's going to be free. You can come down, hang out with us, and meet us all. We're going to be doing a live broadcast down there. And in addition to L.O.B. being on stage and doing her thing and shaking her moneymaker. Tail feathers. Her tail feathers. In addition to that. Big feathers. In addition to that, there will also be a drag race. That's Woods and Jade dressed in drag racing each other. Yeah. So. It's just like a normal after show party. But we're going to have it live at the House of Woods. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like what we do daily. There you go. And just for the record, it's in the morning, people. It is in the morning. We're not doing a nighttime broadcast. It's 5.30 to 9 a.m. Seeing as how we're a morning show. That is a true fact. Some people didn't know. Let's see. Oh, my gosh. What's up, dude? What is that? You know, people just assume House of Blues is not open at that hour. Some people can suck it, too. It's a special private public party for you guys. I just don't know what's happening to you. You've just... You've changed. There's all that time in jail. There's all that time in jail. It hardened me. The jail, the DMV. It hardened me. Super Bowl was the most watched TV show in U.S. history. This last Super Bowl. Finally beat stupid MASH. It did. Finally. It makes me wonder if somehow the networks or NFL was not in charge of the outcome of who went to the Super Bowl. Oh, because of the big markets? Yeah. God, I hate that bit. It's my conspiracy theory. I hate.
Conspiracy. Isn't it possible though? No. There's a lot of BS calls that happen from the refs. No. A lot of players do things you wouldn't usually think they'd do. Isn't it possible though the Giants and the Pats were good teams? Yeah. It is definitely. It was definitely like an all-American. A lot of red, white, and blue out there. Just very appropriate for the economic hard times. She's got a point. It was two of the biggest markets in the country. Yeah. I just have a little. It's possible. All right. I have a question. Who's the ringleader? Because I'll tell you. In baseball, this actually happened. In 1918, the Chicago White Sox threw the World Series. Now, they had eight guys on the White Sox. No, they've won. They've won since. But these guys took money from gamblers. They had a ringleader. Who would be the ringleader in this? Roger Goodell. I was going to say Roger Goodell. So Roger Goodell goes to the networks and goes to NBC and says, look, I can pretty much sway who's going to be in there. No, he doesn't do it that way. He does it through a couple of refs. Can't let too many people in on the... You'd have to let some of the players in on it. No, you couldn't. Like Brady? He didn't have a typical game. Aaron Rodgers? I mean, that guy was nails all season. Aaron Rodgers has got to be on the take. You would have to pay those guys. Explain how Tebow did it. Explain it away.
Why was he the phenomenon? He did it with his legs. He did, you know, real crazy stuff with his legs. Was it crazy? Well, Tebow wasn't on the take. You think they're missing tackles? I mean, I think it's way, you'd have to go way up the ladder there. I think so, too. I'm going to get one of those players drunk. I'm going to get a bunch of them. They're all going to be African-American. I'm going to line them up. Get them drunk. Get them nude. Those are the ones she's attracted to. And I'm going to get it out of them. And I'm going to find out what happens. And you're going to find out what happens. Let's see. We have M1 Renee from Lakeside on the line. Hi, Renee. Hi, Mikey. How are you doing this morning? Good. How are you doing? I'm doing great. You mentioned my boy Jared this morning, and I just had to call and tell you, I think he is the best in the business. There you go. You used Jared to createyourdesignonline.com? Well, yeah, I've used him personally, too, not on his online site, but that also. But I tell you, I submit things to him that looks like a crayon drawing from my kindergartner.
Excuse me. And he turns it into something that looks like a piece of art that you hang on the wall. Yeah. Guys, hands on. He's very good. He's very good. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it. I've used him as well. Shut up. I've used him over. Shut up. Over. Mike, I just say the grossest, weirdest stuff, and I don't care about you. I don't care about anything. It can be about girls or boys or ladyboys. It don't matter. It don't matter, Mike. Puppies, kids, girls don't apply. Show now. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's Kevin. Excellent job. Mikey. 570-1949. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9.
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New two-year contract on qualifying classic plan required. Mail and rebate card may apply while supplies last. 4G HSPA Plus network not available everywhere. See participating stores for details. When you wake up, 10 News has what you need to start your day. On your phone, online, or on TV. The best coverage of breaking news. Overnight developments and weather from where you live. Your news on any device. Wake up with 10 News, San Diego's news source. All new on The Doctors. How to take control of your hormones. So important. To avoid weight gain, mood swings, even acne, and more. The new option for decreasing hot flashes. Plus, a simple way to beat the winter blues. A device to help put people in a better mood. Also, the new perfume that can heat up your love life. And that's supposed to increase testosterone levels for guys. Pretty cool, right? All new on The Doctors. Today at 4 on ABC 10. The view of a key US ally in the war on terror looks much different from the inside. 10 News reporter Joe Little returns from Pakistan and unveils a difference in media so surprising it will change how you look at TV. Today, only on 10 News at 5. Is your hair dry, brittle, and breaking off by the handfuls? Have you fried and damaged your hair from harsh chemicals and heat styling treatments? Are you covering up the holes in your hair where the extensions used to be? Has your hair just stopped growing and won't get any longer?
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I think I've got it. To get a free rate quote, go to Geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local Geico office. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. My wireless internet bill was really adding up. So to save some money, I just use my neighbor's unpassword-protected Wi-Fi for free. It's unpassword-protected because the signal doesn't go outside of the house. Now get off my couch. Not to mention, I recharge my laptop for free. Mm-hmm. Not free. And while I wait for all my downloads, they really need more bandwidth. I just grab a soda. Not much of a diet fan, but beggars. can't be choosers. You're not begging, you're just choosing. Neighbors are great. To get a free rate quote, go to geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. The cities within San Diego, as well as the port, the airport authority, and the county have joined together to address stormwater pollution prevention. Storm drains and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, pet waste, pesticides, and other pollutants, flows untreated directly into local waterways. Learn about how you can help prevent pollution in your area and ways you can make a difference.
difference at thinkblusdregion.org. Kickets subject to convenience and handling charges. I'll see if I know it's one day of show. It's a good one for restrictions and details. It's Saturday clock. I'm seeing you in rain or shine. Wells Fargo. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. This report brought to you by the San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union is proud to introduce SDCCU Mobile Deposit. It's super easy. Just check Snap Deposit. Enroll today at SDCCU.com. Still a lot of slowing this morning. We've got a big backup as you travel on the 805, the 805 northbound from the 52 east to about the 163 north.
Between 13 and 23 miles an hour. An earlier accident on the 94 westbound at the 5 still has things delayed in that area. And you're going to need some time on the 5 northbound from the 80s to Moore Street speeds in the 20s. This report also brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Get new tires at Firestone Complete Auto Care's February event. Buy three Firestone Affinity touring tires for your car. Get the fourth one free. See your store for details. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the Firestone Complete Auto Care. Near you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not macho. Woods. I've never realized how fat I was until I got on a skateboard. Oh, wow. Lauren. I like it. A guy that's off Facebook is cool. And Jay. Oh, the recliner's mandatory. On FM 94.9. Obama administration announced some plans yesterday. to dramatically boost funding for research into Alzheimer's disease. Yay. About time. Yeah, Jay's mom has it. My mom has it. And, man, it'd be just great. Man, if they found a cure for that, oh, that would be so great. What he's suggesting is an additional $80 million in research funding next year.
That's up from about $450 million this year. Saddest disease out there. Oh, yeah, for sure. Heartbreaking. This was a trippy story. Students at Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania got the morning after pill in a vending machine. That's crazy. Yeah. Wow. They put it in a vending machine. Wow. And it was an idea that's really gotten people tripped out. Shouldn't be an impulse buy. No. Yeah, I wanted Tic Tacs, but... Hey, it didn't have Zagna, so I got the morning after pill. Oh, my planners didn't come out. You can't even get that, like, in the drugstore here on the shelf. You got to go to the pharmacist. Yeah, prescription. Because what keeps somebody from taking that's farther along? Yeah. Oh, that's just weird. Such a weird story. And then we talked about this earlier. A lady in China just gave birth to a 15-pound kid.
A 15-pound baby. That is such a fat baby. Fat boy. Three-month-old. It's a BFCB. It's a big, fat Chinese baby. It's a big, fat Chinese BFC... What is it? BFCB. BFCB. BFCB. Yeah, it's a big, fat Chinese baby. That old phrase. What are you talking about, Willie? BFCB. BFCB. I wonder how often you'll get to use that in conversation. Hopefully again soon. Oh, look at you. That's why I'm trying to work it in. Hey, look, BFCB. BFCB. It's the new LOL. Big fat Chinese baby is what that is. 15 pounder, BFCB. Yeah, it's a BFCB. People will catch like a bass and be like, ah, it's a BFCB. Yeah, that would just be a BFB. But it could become a slang and people would be like. Holy cow, that is a big, fat Chinese baby, and it's a bass. Yeah. That's true. Or just anything 15 pounds. Like, you could ask a girl, like, do you lift weights? Only BFCBs. Yeah, that's true. Only a big, fat Chinese baby. That's not bad, though. Not bad. It's not bad. You're working it. Squatting while doing BFCBs. Yeah. The lunges. Yeah, a girl can lunge with a big, fat Chinese baby that's 15 pounds. 15 pounds, big, fat Chinese baby, BFCB. Had a lot.
Of Mexican food. It's like I had a BFCB. Yeah. Big fat Chinese baby. Call it food. Yeah. Yeah. I just had a lot of food, you should say. We know what you're eating. Call it comida. Comida. Comida. I know what you're having. Humane Society in New York Woods. Yes. Found a new way to get people to adopt their pets. Good. They had a fashion photographer take glamour shots of available animals. That's really awesome. Instead of just showing them in their cages. It's not ridiculous. Isn't it? No. It gives adoption's increased by 50% to 75%. Yeah, so it worked. Glamour pets. What's wrong with people? They don't like just cute little things to see them all dolled up? Those are the wrong people. What's wrong with that? Did it work? Hey, you know what? When you go on Match.com and eHarmony, you don't see people in kennels. Yeah, in sweatpants and in kennels. Exactly. These are the kind of people that are like, ah, the dog is an accessory. Look how cute it is. Not necessarily. Get them home and dress them. Just a nicer way to make the dog appear. Absolutely. I'd have to see these shots before I approved of them. I saw them. It's ridiculous. Of course. You check out everything on the internet. Everything. Because this is the generation of, or whatever you call it, the time of girls using dogs as accessories. Hey, I don't care what they use them for as long as they save their lives. They'll end up right back where they started. They better not. Mark my bitter words. That's cynical. I am a cynic. According to a new study from the EPA, the beach gives you diarrhea. Yeah.
They had tests on sand from various beaches around the country and found there's a lot of bacteria. That's hideous. I shouldn't eat the sand. Well, no, but your hands touch the sand and then your hands touch potato chips. Oh, gosh. Which touch your lips, which touch your mouth. I will throw a dip of snuff in sometimes on the beach after my hands have been in the sand. It goes right into my mouth. I just assume things in nature wouldn't have that kind of stuff stick to them. Besides the actual poo itself, you know? What about? Wait a minute. You wouldn't think that that would be in sand? You'd think, like, Mother Nature found a way to be like, yeah, no, it doesn't stick to me. Doesn't have to be that. Could be other stuff, bacteria that get you sick. Well, we pump it into the ocean as well. Yes. And big ships have to be, I think, five miles away. You can't say that on the air. Big ships. Think about it. All of that sewage that gets pumped into the ocean is going onto the sand. That's true. And then we're eating potato chips on the beach. Yeah. I had no idea that the big boats did that, and we rented this big boat, and it has a, I think it's called a grinder, and you have to, it mixes it, and then you have to release it. And put it in the ocean. Yeah, and you just release it. That's why, another reason I don't like the big cruise ships. Yep, that's what they put out there. Just giant cesspools. Well, they think the ocean is so big we could just put that in there, but it's not, it doesn't seem like a very good idea to me. They maybe don't understand how currents work. Yeah. I had to do it in the ocean one time. It's not fun.
They call that an AD. Numero uno is okay by me, but I don't think you should do the other. Simon Cowell says that the rumors of Beyonce being hired to his X Factor show is all false. Too bad. I'm so excited. It's all up in arms. Well, there's a big thing out there that they were going to offer her, 100 million bucks. Oh, my God. She turned it down. There's no way. Well, he says it's not true. There's no way. It's a lot of dough. She's like, woman, are you out of your freaking mind? You take that job right now, and you take it, and you take it good. Yeah, I think if they offered her $100 million, she would. $100 million? Why wouldn't you? I think she would do it. Let's see. This is M1 George Takai in line. Hello. Hi. I'm wondering how come you haven't had me on the show lately, Mikey. First of all, you're not me. That's not fair.
It is fair. Okay, the cat's out of the bag. It's my father on the show today. I'm not your father. Dad, can I borrow the car keys? You are the worst Takai I've ever heard. I am not the worst Takai you've ever heard. That's true. Garrett's Takai is worse than yours. Hey, what'd I do? Garrett is not doing George Takai. Sounds like you are plugging your nose. I am not. What are you wearing? If you must know, I'm not wearing anything. Except an acoustic guitar. George on George. I'm wearing a dolphin short. All right, well. That was weird. That was weird. What were you guys just doing? I don't know. A what? A what? I called in. Dolphin shorts. Like hooter shorts. What's a dolphin? What is a dolphin? I think I've heard of it before. It's kind of like a porpoise. Well, if you put your hat on, you're dolphin your cap. Ah. You know.
No, no, no. L.O.B., you're thinking of a dolphin. Oh, yeah. I knew I had heard that word before. It's a figure skating move, right? Yes. All I'm going to say is, thank goodness Adam's here today, and Jay will be able to unload some of that pent-up aggression with a good game of ping pong. Absolutely. After today's program. Absolutely. Because if he did not have that outlet... Hey, Mike. Gosh darn it, Mike. I'm sick of you. I finally think I've had enough. Get out of my contract. I'm done. I told Kim, I've damn near had enough of him. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. And you know what? There ain't a jury in the world convict me. Hell no. I got video of it. Are you getting hit audio from my house? Self-defense from hideousness. That's right. They'd say, well, why'd you kill him? I said, look at that son of a bitch. Justifiable homicide. Every day I was dying a little bit just looking at him. Justifiable, y'all. Not a court in the land would convict me. That's right. Jury members would go, gosh darn, he was ugly. Yeah. Put up with a lot, Jerry. All right, you're free to go. Don't do it again. Don't do it again. Unless you have to. If you meet another fatty, don't work with him. If looks could kill you, it'd have killed yourself already in the air. Fatty. You know it. Oh, you disgust me. Gosh darn. I'm disgusted. Kim, I'm telling you today, I looked right into his eyes. Don't do it. His big, fat, chubby eyes.
Look like he got stung by bees. He's so fat. Jay, how can eyes be chubby? His eyelids are fat. I'm telling you, he got rolls in them. It's like damn honey bees done stung his eyes. Gosh darn. Let's go surfing, baby. Or work out or make love or something. Oh yeah. We already did like six times. I know, but you know I can't get enough. All right. Let's do nine. Nine times. Can I just ask you? Does he have cellulite in his eyes? Oh, my gosh. He's got cellulite in his cellulite. Cottage cheese. Cottage cheese. Yeah, his cottage cheese got cottage cheese on it. Looks like he got shot in an eyelid with a buckshot. Cut him, he bleeds whipped cream. Say what? Cut him, he bleeds whipped cream. How's... The economy bleeds whipped cream. The economy bleeds whipped cream. That's what they said on C-SPAN. That's it, Mike. You're dead. You're dead. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up. No. Mike, I told you. Idiot. Hanson's up next. Filling in for Hillary. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 530. Mikey shows up. Good.