The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/09/12
Thursday, February 9, 2012
water billglitter bombgay divorcem1 listenersobese kid emailcatchphrase gametiger woods comebacklaser eye surgeryone testicleskin tagvalentines dayhouse of blues broadcast
The show opened with callers outraged over massive water bills caused by faulty meters, then moved to a debate about whether a college student who glitter‑bombed Mitt Romney deserved jail time. Later segments covered the first gay couple’s divorce after legalization, the meaning of the show’s M1 listeners, and Jay’s humorous email listing childhood obesity signs. The hosts played a Catchphrase game where Mikey and Woods were shut out, discussed Tiger Woods’ PGA comeback at Pebble Beach, and Lauren and Woods praised their laser eye surgery results. The program closed with a candid conversation about testicular health, a skin tag the size of a testicle, and various personal anecdotes from the audience.
What happened, in order
Water Bill Shock
Callers describe receiving multi‑thousand‑dollar water bills due to faulty meters and debate the law that forces payment regardless of meter errors.
Glitter Bomb Debate
The show discusses a college student who glitter‑bombed Mitt Romney and whether he deserves jail time, with Woods arguing for leniency and others calling it excessive.
First Gay Couple Divorce
Hosts comment on the first legally married gay couple in California now splitting up, questioning the stability of same‑sex marriage after legalization.
What is an M1?
Mikey explains that an M1 is a devoted listener who likes the Mikey Show Facebook page, follows the show’s etiquette, and turns the radio down when calling in.
Obese Kid Signs Email
Jay sends a humorous list titled “Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid,” prompting laughter and reactions from Lauren and Woods about childhood obesity signs.
Catchphrase Game Loss
During a Catchphrase round, Team Fat (Mikey and Woods) fails to score any points while Team Fit (Lauren and Jay) sweeps the game.
Tiger Woods Comeback
The crew talks about Tiger Woods returning to the PGA Tour at Pebble Beach, paired with Tony Romo, and notes his improved health after years of injury.
Laser Eye Surgery Success
Lauren and Woods share their positive experiences getting laser eye surgery at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, achieving better‑than‑perfect vision.
One Testicle & Skin Tag Talk
Callers and hosts discuss a man with one testicle, a skin tag the size of a testicle, and personal embarrassment stories about bodily quirks.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienJayAmberMitt RomneyPeter SmithJennifer TrayersBonnie DumanisTiger WoodsTony RomoJeromeDanielRebecca
32,089 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
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KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. This is the home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. It's Thursday already. Right up. Guess what, my friends? It is going to be beauteous outside. It is going to be warm and clear and just gorgeous. This is going to be the kind of day that when you are... back east or anywhere else in the entire world and you watch TV and they show California, that's what California's all about today. And it's going to look all that great in the middle of February. That's the weirdest part of it. The fact that it's February and we got weather like we're going to have today, tomorrow, and through the weekend. 70s in parts of the what they call inland valleys.
Upper 70s. It's going to be nice. Felt like 80 on the coast yesterday. It was gorgeous. It was beautiful. Isn't that awesome? Yep. My parents in New Jersey had snow. I was talking to my mom. I'm like, sorry, I just got back from the beach. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? She was not happy with me. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. People in the other part of the country. That's why it's so expensive to live in San Diego. It's so nice here. It is so nice. So welcome to the program. And if you want to, you can call. 570-1949. The Mikey Show is on from 530 to 9 now, and so you can call us from 530 to 9 and say hello. It's me, Woodsy, L-O-B, Jay, and Screen and Phones for us is going to be our friend Adam. Let's see. Don't forget, Big House of Blues broadcast Friday the 17th. Oh, man. Lauren O'Brien dancing like a pussycat doll. I'm nervous. Is that next Friday? Yes. Oh, my God. It's next Friday. It's a week from tomorrow. Is it? Wait. Yes, it is. Yes. Oh, my God. Have you got your dance down? Not down, but I got the part that I have learned so far down. You're practicing. Mm-hmm. Rehearsal tonight. Can we see a little taste of it right now? No. No chance. Just a little bit of GIF moving around? Nope. LLB will be up there. She'll be shaking it with 10 other M1s. They're practicing. They're rehearsing. Mm-hmm.
And it's a live broadcast that everybody is invited to come to and hang out and be hanging with us. They're going to have mimosas or as Jay would say, mimosas. And it's going to be a good. Bloody Marys. Good hang. Yeah, you got to pay for the Bloody Marys and the mimosas. Yeah. And the food. But getting in there is free. Getting to watch us broadcast is free. That's right. Getting your picture taken with. The gift. The gift? Well, that we might have to charge for. Oh, yeah. For sure. Make a bank. But, uh... Maybe I'll have a kissing booth. Oh, my gosh. Fridge? How weird would it be that Jay would be the first in line? With a fresh 20 in his hand. And third in line. And seventh in line. Here's 100. What'd I get for 100? That's a dollar a kiss. Oh, wow. I'm just gonna stand here, girl. You should do that for charity, LLB. Kissing booth. Make a mint. Who's charity? I have to ask my boyfriend. If I write you a check, can we make love? Now, I'm going to post-date it. Can't cash until 15, but I'm going to write it right now. And now, I know the check says Isbell Productions LTD on it. Those big-ass binders. I don't know this won't bounce.
Look, this is my slush fund. Kim don't know about this money. It's got a carbon copy underneath it. $12,000. Now, this is you on call. It's 12 grand, but that's you on call, right? Sure. It means that anytime, any place, I can just call you up, and I'll have a special, I'll say, hey, Palomino. You know what that means when I say Palomino. Palomino. Call us right now, 570-1949. I have a, I have a. Tylenol patch on my back because my lower back hurts from moving a stupid... I didn't know they had those. It's great. They sell them on CVS. Oh, yeah. They're the best. It's made by Tylenol and you stick them on your back and it actually helps your back feel better. Does it heat you? Yeah, it heats up and it's got Tylenol in it. That's pretty solid. Yeah, it works. Sure beats that twingy pain that you get. Gosh, even worse. So...
It's looking at the UT today. And on the front page of the UT, they're talking about how these people got these massive water bills and they can't do anything about it. Now, here's the deal. If you get your meter saying something, no matter what, you got to pay that bill. Like, you know how sometimes there's a mess up with your phone? Yep. And you tell them, hey, listen, I didn't talk to Korea for 14 hours. Right. And they'll say, okay. You know, don't worry, we'll take care of it. This dude got a bill for $3,600. Oh, my God. For October and November. Oh, my God. Dang. The previous bill was $277. What? He's got to pay it. No way. No way. The city says, listen, it's the way it is. What, meters don't lie or what? Yeah, it's what it says. They don't lie. It says a faulty meter, billing error, whatever, potential reset of the sprinkler system could have done it.
But the law is that if that meter says it, you've got to pay it. And it's pretty crazy. You've got to check your meter. It's got a little ticky wheel in there. If it's moving when everything's turned off, then you know you've got a problem. Yeah, big problem. Shouldn't that be the meter reader's job? The water companies. They deliver the water to the meter. Everything after the meter is your problem. Oh, man. Another reason I'm not a homeowner. Yeah. Well, there's this other lady, and she had never had a water bill over $400. Never. And her bill for August and September was $1,077 for using 186,264 gallons of water. Oh, my God. That's enough to fill 41 fire engine pumps. That's crazy. Or do 824 washing machine loads. Whoa. Or one bath for you. They will come to your house and they will do like a... An analysis of your water usage and tell you how you could save water. I've done it. It worked. The guy's smart. That does not surprise me. I'm surprised that you have not called Kenmore and said, you can't send somebody down to look at my fridge and tell me how I can save money with it. Yeah, exactly. First of all, I don't want it. The only reason I got one, because I got kids. I'd salt my own meat. I'd use what we used to call an ice box. Yeah. You'd put blocks of ice.
That's what I'd use. Yeah. I built it. Here's what I can't convince my wife of. A, move to Montana so we can have blocks of ice to put an icebox. Can't make ice here in San Diego. Uh-uh. All right? Well, not for free. No. Second of all, she won't let me cure my own meats because we've got to give it to the kids. Oh, kids got to have meat that's normal. They're going to get sick. They're going to get sick. Whatever. I got to buy an effing refrigerator. Yeah. All right? So I go down to the Goodwill, and I pretended I was gimpy. And they gave it to me for $5. They knew I wasn't gimpy, but they felt sorry for me, which I'd done this bit before. My first rodeo. That's where I got Finn's tuxedo for his prom. Same place. Same place. Dollar. Walked in there and said, hey, I'm gimpy, and my son's got a graduation coming up. Wasn't even it. I'll tell them it's a different occasion even. I said I got the father-daughter dance coming up. Thank you. That one's Danny from Rancho Bernardo. Hey, good morning, Mikey. How's it going? Hey, what's going on? Nothing much, man. I don't know if you remember me. I saw you this weekend at the shooting range over in Claremont. Did we say hi to each other? Oh, yes, I did. You stepped out for a second and you were texting. I walked up to you. I think I was the only one that recognized you right there. Oh, right on. Well, that's nice.
Did you love it? Did you guys get a milkshake? Uh-huh. A lot of food. Hey, just a side note. L.O.B.'s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Yes, it does. You know, there's that. That's right. I don't know about that at all. Yeah. All right, buddy. Thanks for calling. All right. Have a good one. 20-year-old kid at the University of Colorado is up on misdemeanor charges because could send him to jail, by the way. He could do up to six months after glitter bombing Mitt Romney. What? Tuesday night. CNN coverage and everything. Romney shaking hands with his supporters in Denver. Just gave a speech. And Secret Service agents had to usher this guy away. His name is Peter Smith.
Woods, do you think that that's harsh? No. I think you should do six months in jail. For throwing glitter on someone? Yeah, because it could have been an anthrax bombing. But it wasn't. It could have been. Well, it was glitter, but you know who doesn't do six months? Yeah. What'd he be in a pud for? Six months is excessive. You know who doesn't do six months in jail? Who are you? The guy that isn't throwing glitter on people. What are you, Elton John out there just throwing glitter at people? Come on. Come on, dude. Come on. Really? Give me a break. Oh, it hurts. It doesn't hurt, but, I mean, you're a clown. Yeah, you're a clown. It officially makes you a graduate of Clown University. Well, maybe he did. He should get a warning. Summa cum laude. He should get a warning. He shouldn't spend any time in prison. Really? We can't get normal people in prison. Hang on. Lauren's kind of right. What if he did go to clown college? We're sitting here saying this, and we don't even know. Or he's a magician. Or he's a magician, and we don't even know. Or maybe a fairy. What is this world coming to when you cannot glitter bomb a presidential candidate? That's right. Yeah. I would like to see a glitter bomb. Yeah. I would pay to see a glitter bomb. I would say thank you for the glitter bomb. Yes, thank you. Whatever. You guys need to lighten up. Nobody glitter bomb Jay at our live broadcast next Friday. Yes, please do. First gay couples getting a divorce. Well, it's everybody. Just like the rest of us. In California, when they legalized marriage for gay couples, the ceremonial first gay couple,
Got married. Now they're splitting up. Watch what you wish for. Yeah. Watch what you wish for. I can get you. Get anybody. That's right. So they said you can't be gay and get married in California. Then they said you can. Right. Then they said you can't. Right. And now they're saying you can. Right. But they're saying that that will be sent to the Supreme. I'm not kidding. That'll be sent to the Supreme Court who may say you can't. Right. Now, everybody gets to vote the way that they vote. If Jay and Woods and LOB vote, they would say, I vote that gays can get married. Yes. If I voted, my vote would say, no, I vote that gays can't get married. Right. Now, that's my vote. Everybody has their vote. What I wish is, is that if your side wins, that we just stick with it. Yeah, absolutely.
And if my side wins, we just stick with it. But one way or the other, just stick with it, man. If your side wins, I will continue. Yeah, if your side wins, I'm not good with it. If my side wins, then absolutely. If our side wins, then we're good. I'm just of the opinion that once they make a decision, just stay with it, man. It's the same thing with slavery. If they got it turned around, would you want it to, oh, well, let's re-vote on it again. I mean, slavery is a... issue of human rights. This is supposed to be an issue of sexual rights, you know? Well, it's still human rights. Yeah, I guess so. And they're humans. Well, they are humans. They're saying, there's a law saying I can't do what you can do. Right. Which is a human right thing. Yeah. But, you know, here's the deal. Let's quit fighting about it. Yeah. I just say let's quit fighting about it. Yeah. Same deal with the cross, you know, the solid ad cross.
Okay, we can keep it. No, no, we can't. We got to fight it. Okay, well, then let's fight it out. People like to fight. Yeah, man, they do. I'll keep fighting the people that say they want it down. Me too. Yeah, me too. I'll sit from my couch and say, stop it. Yeah, cut that off. Me too. Cut it off. It's me, LLB. I'll be driving by it. I'll look up at it. I'll be like, I wish you guys would knock it off. Stop it. Stop. Gosh darn, In-N-Out's right there. I'm getting off the freeway. Be like that. Yeah. M1 Bisquick from Santee. What up, dude? Hey, Jang. It's your old pal Bisquick. What's going on? Stealing my bits. Nothing but then. Feeling like crap, which kind of sucks. I guess I should get you some Gerber daisies. You know that? Yesterday, Wood said that Gerber daisies are pretty. Pretty? It's almost like he forgot he was on the radio. What a fabulous idea! Anyways, I was calling to break the news to San Diego. Sorry, Wood sneezed. Pardon me? Wood sneezed. Sorry. Hello? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. My wife and I are going to be expecting our first child. Oh. Congratulations. Congrats, buddy. It's huge. Right on, man. Yeah. It's a pretty big M1. I'm going to start calling her M1 mini-chunk. Thank you. That feels real good, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, dude. It does feel good. So, letting you all know. Thank you, brother. Congrats. Have a good one. Thank you.
So the first gay couple is getting a divorce. Some guy, glitter bomb Mitt Romney and water bills in San Diego can be out of control. And good night. That's what we got for you. We do have a big show for you today. We have a lot of stuff going on. Got a good night's sleep. What's he got a good night? How about you, Ella Bee? Oh, I did. Yeah. You sleep good? I did. We got a lot going on today. Hopefully, M1 Nation will call in and give us some stuff to do as well. Oh, there was a trial of a woman here in San Diego that killed her husband. Now, this guy was cheating on her. He was 41 years old, and they were having this big trial. Well, yesterday, she was convicted of second-degree murder, not first-degree murder. Really? Second-degree murder. Now, what happened was she put this stuff on the computer, like a download on the computer, so that she could see what he was up to. That stuff is crazy. He was up to no good. And, you know, she saw that he was up to no good with a woman that he had met on a ship. He was in the Navy, and he was like a doctor in the ship, and he met somebody, and they had a fling. Well, they got into a fight about it.
And she ended up killing the guy. Wow. And now she is 43 years old. She faces a maximum sentence of life in prison. And her name is Jennifer Trayers. She's 43 years old. Sayonara. It's not worth it. They deliberated for three days to come up with a verdict yesterday. That's a long, long time to deliberate. Three days. You know, usually when it's a quick deliberation. They know that it's a, generally say it's a guilty verdict if it's right away. It's usually better for the defense when it goes longer. Three days is a long time. Not in this case. Well, I mean, they didn't get her for the first degree murder, which is what they wanted. And so they got her on second degree murder. They wanted her on first degree murder. Well, if the max is still life in prison, you know, mission accomplished. Yeah. Bonnie Dumanis, who's the DA, said the verdict brought a measured justice to the victim's family and friends, which is true. You know, they were obviously just broken up over it. Woman scorned real good. Yeah, woman scorned. They'll get you. Gosh darn. I mean, they're not all murderous, but, you know. They want to be. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. If you cheat on a woman, they're not all capable of killing you, but they all want to.
Oh, yeah. They think about it. They think about it. They won't all do it. Could be worse. Could be worse? They could just cut off Mr. Happy. They could cut off Mr. Happy. I'd rather be dead. I'd rather be dead. Yeah, I think any guy would rather be dead than Mr. Happy get cut off. Yeah. Just looking like a Barbie doll, Ken doll down there. Well, what's his name got it sewed back on? What's that guy's name? John Bobbitt. John Bobbitt. He did adult films after that. Yeah. Which is hideous. To prove that it worked. Right. Imagine having to get that sewn back on. No. Imagine looking for it. Yeah, the worst. Looking for it and having to preserve it. Didn't you throw it out the window of a car? Yeah. Bob it. Oh, man. Probably never find mine. Like a needle in a haystack. A needle in a haystack searching forever. Talking about present tense or if that happened? What do you mean? You can't find it now or if that happened to you? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Adam's out of control in there. I mean, gosh. Already kind of put myself out there. I put myself out there. I was just wondering. Hey, is that a body laying on the ground? I should kick it. Hey, Mike. Hey, burn it. While you're over there, just burn it. Jump on top of it. There's no penis on that body. Or is there? Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. You're really on one today, aren't you? Oh, you're on one. You guys are on one. I need something to eat.
Weird. By the way, this is day three of Advil cold and sinus. Good. Oh, yeah. Day three. It's going to be a fun day when I'm on the Advil cold and sinus. That stuff works. Works too good. 570-1949 is our phone number. Great word of the day today in terms of prize. A flight to Mammoth Mountain, which is going to be great. We'll give you the word of the day just after six. Paraflights. Paraflights. Yeah. Twofer. Yeah, twofer. To Mammoth. And then a $75 gift code to proflowers.com. Here we got Valentine's Day coming up. And so that should be pretty cool. You already got a plan, Woodsy? Oh, no. She's not awake yet. Yes, she is. Is she? Oh, yeah. We had a conversation last night. I made her cry. Oh, no. Uh-oh. We knew that. Well, I said, I go, look. I go, we didn't buy each other anything for Christmas either. And I said, let's just not.
And her eyes filled up with tears. I'm like, why are you crying? And she's like, because you're not going to give me anything for a while. And I was like. Get something for your wife. I'm going to now. Okay, but here's the deal. I'm trying to be smart. In defense to Woods. In defense to Woods. He could have just as easily said that. And she was like, yeah, okay. Yeah. But it just so happened he caught her at a moment where she was sad. Yeah. And then you feel bad. I felt like a turd. Yeah. I feel like a turd. If I were her, I would have assumed since we didn't do Christmas, I was getting something for Valentine's Day. You know, we're trying to save money. We're trying to adopt a kid again. We're doing that whole thing. And so I'm like, I'm just really trying to be conservative. I haven't ordered breakfast anymore here. Like, I'm really trying to pinch my pennies. When you get married, you know. Sometimes, you know, you're able to like, I'll be honest with you. My wife and I are going through a rough patch and we had to talk about it. We were like, what are we going to do for Valentine's Day? We're going through a rough patch. What do you do for Valentine's Day when you're going through a rough patch? And she said, it's kind of weird to be doing Valentine's Day stuff during a rough patch. I'm like.
Yeah. And she goes, why don't we just glaze over it? Glaze over it. Like a strip tease. I beg to differ. There's no better time to go big on a Valentine's Day when you're in a rough patch. When you're in the valley? When you're in the valley. You got to make some big steps. You know, but doesn't it seem from both sides, doesn't it seem a bit disingenuous? It's a little contrived. No, because you still love each other. You still love each other, but you're going through a rough patch. It seems a little disingenuous to be like, la, la, la. Yeah, we're not in any rough patch. I'm just trying to, I'm the heavy. Like, I'm the heavy where I'm like, babe, we got to tighten the belt. And I've been that psycho lately, and I've never been that guy. Ever. I've been like, woo. Let's go. I told my boyfriend, don't get me anything. He's like, I'm insisting. I'm like, don't do it. Why? Because you don't want to get him anything? No, because he doesn't need to. He said, well, last year you got me this. I said, well, that was last year. We're not doing that this year. Will you get him something? Just a little, like, something small. That's nice. Yeah. Striptease. Well, then wouldn't it hurt your feelings if he didn't get you anything? He's talking about, like, going big, and I don't want him to go big. But he can do something. Yeah, something small. And I don't want to go out to dinner, and he's insisting we go out to dinner. Yeah.
Hey, listen, I'm not suggesting that, you know, listeners can't do something kind for me to fill my heart with joy. I wouldn't suggest that at all because maybe my big, giant, oversized, obese heart needs a little love in it, you know, and it would feel nice. I don't think your heart's obese. Yeah. It's just the outside LOB? I just don't think your heart is. Yeah. Oh. No, I never... So, in other words, it's the parts on the other, you know. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, there's that. I don't think your heart can be obese. No. Yeah, it can be oversized. Oversized, yeah. Mike, so you have an oversized heart. It's not quite obese. But I would definitely say overs... You know what? Let's forget it. Overworked. Gee, Mike, that heart must work a lot, huh? To get that whole thing full of blood. Just to get it all full. Does that take a look? Ah, never mind. Today, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be playing some catchphrase. Oh, yeah. Also... Does SeaWorld have to give up their orcas? Wow. There was a court case with PETA. We'll tell you the results. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming in a couple. FM 94.9. Having McDonald's without a Coke? That's like driving a monster truck with 10-inch tires. Like having a great day on a bad hair day. Gaming.
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Well, swing on in this Friday through Sunday to buy any adult graphic tee and get any other adult graphic tee free. Old Navy, come fun, come all. All supplies last. That's Jared. Hello, this is your navigation system. Your destination is now set for Jared the Galleria of Jewelry, where you will always find the perfect gift for her. Jared has an incredible selection of beautiful diamond fashion necklaces, earrings, rings, and bracelets from fabulous brands like Love's Embrace, Heart's Desire, and Le'Veon Chocolate Diamonds. Price is starting at $100. You have arrived. Tell it, radio singers. It can only be Jared. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola. Now in black, white, and purple. The perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple. Really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet. Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple. Now make me love the price. And he says, no problem. Because right now, you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. Four colors, same edge. Droid Razor, connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network.
Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash best network. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep. house hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage it was a trap it was an open house and a busy one they were being overrun a lot of people did seem interested but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with navy federal credit union called in the big guns really nice and helpful for big guns three and a half million members three and a half million stories from every military branch dod and their families Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Equal housing lender. The members of Think Blue San Diego region remind you that the storm drain and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, flows untreated directly into our local waterways. Do your part to keep San Diego County clean and prevent pollution by properly disposing of trash and by keeping your sidewalk and gutters clear around your home. For more information and to learn about what your city is doing to prevent stormwater pollution,
Visit thinkbluesdregion.org. Hey, Supercross fans. Join me, Jay, from the Mike Show this Friday, February 10th from 6 to 8 at the Escondido Cycle Center for their annual San Diego Supercross kickoff party. Stop by to meet and get autographs from all your favorite Honda Supercross stars like Chad Reed, Andrew Short, Kevin Winham. Justin Baton, Cole Seeley, Travis Baker, and Eli Tomac. Plus, I'll hook you up with a ton of prizes from FM949 and Escondido Cycle Center. Get there early to take advantage of unbeatable deals on Honda motorcycles and genuine Honda gear. Escondido Cycle Center has been family-owned and operated for over 20 years, so when you're investing in your next Honda motorcycle, make sure you see the pros at Escondido Cycle Center to get hooked up. So remember to join me at Escondido Cycle Center this Friday, February 10th from 6 to 8 for their annual San Diego Supercross kickoff party located at 1415 Montel Road in Escondido. Take the Nordall exit off Highway 78 and the 15. Check them out on Facebook or online at EscondidoCycleCenter.com. In business, every day is a compromise between what you want and what your budget will allow. Face it, compromise stinks.
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Acorn Casino. Seniors earn five gold points, receive $5 of free play every day from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. Visit PlayGoldenAcorn.com for more info. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. Welcome to the Mikey Show, M1 Nation. If you are an M1, you're a Mikey Show listener. A lot of people wonder, well, what does that mean, M1? It means you are devoted to the Mikey Show. You go on our Facebook page and you like it. You go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Like the page, become a member, and that's all you got to do. And M1 is a hardcore Mikey Show listener, so when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. If you're new listening to the show, don't worry. We embrace you and bring you into this thing right away. It's a little hang that we have with a group of friends. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I've been doing radio in San Diego on and off.
for about 20 years. And used to be over at Rock 105. Now I'm here at FM 94.9. But I've been in a few radio stations here in San Diego. I worked at KCBQ here in San Diego. I've worked at Rock 102. I've worked at Rock 105. I've worked at Q106. I've worked at a few different radio stations other than my stint here in San Diego. Woods is our sports guy. He's 36 years of age. And getting in shape, man. Dude is getting it. Trying. He's been losing LBs. I don't know if it's as apparent to you as it is to people around you. It's not. But I can see it, man. I can see that you've lost weight. My fat belly. But it's going. Not eating fast food anymore? That's right. Oh, but wait. What happened yesterday? I don't know. I just... What a 607. It's not even 607 yet. He's already calling you out? What happened, Jay? I just saw the stock. Burger King stock just shot through the roof. It wasn't Burger King, first of all. We're going to do this now? We can do this now. Let's do it later. Lauren O'Brien is the foxy blonde sitting on my right. Listen, she's more popular than we realize. She's way popular. I went to a meeting.
For Jerome's Furniture, the guy, the son of Jerome. Little Jerome. Jerome's actual son. He goes, do you work with Lauren O'Brien? And I go, as a matter of fact, I do, yes. He goes, you know, she's in our television commercials. I said, as a matter of fact, I did. He goes, she's a really good girl. He goes, she's fun to work with. And I go, yeah, I know. It's kind of surprising me. She's... People like our girl here. I get around. Oh, wow. Like a donut. I sit right next to her. This is one of the most coveted seats in this city. I'll tell you that right now. People would pay for this sucker right here. She looks good. She smells good. She's damn funny. Little angel. Jay is our producer. He's a D-head. He is 48. And that guy. is just something else. Wait until I read you the email slash... That's the weirdest thing. So weird! The email slash blog slash recap that he sent to all of us. L-O-B, I think, had the greatest response, which was, did you mean to send this? I thought it was accidental as well. And I was like, does he want...
approval or does he want ha ha ha? Yeah. The title of it is Top Sands Mikey was an obese kid. That's unbelievable. This came out in an email at about noon yesterday at 1. Yeah, I'm in the middle of all kinds of stuff yesterday and I'm checking my emails on my phone and I see... Subject. Subject. Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid. It just hit me. From Jay. It's inspiration. You don't know where it's going to hit. And I went, I'll have to read that one in a little bit. It's a must read. I'll get to it, but right now I'm busy, but I'll get to it later. Yeah, Jay is 48. It made me laugh. I got to admit. I got to admit, it made me laugh, especially the first top reason of how you know I was an obese kid. It's the only one I read. What? That's a lot of work. You better read that. Would you copy and paste it and replace Mikey? Yeah, with somebody else. That's right. It's being dynamic over here. That's right. Blogging. Yeah, he's been all mad at me because I haven't blogged in a while. That was a shot at you. Yes.
Gosh, man, he's a taskmaster. Gosh darn it, he is a taskmaster. Here's the deal. He is not addicted to heroin. He's not addicted to alcohol. He doesn't have any addictions. But you've got to get that energy out somewhere. As much as he surfs, as much as he rides a bike, as much as he's physically active, he still has more energy to burn. He burns it on woods and meat. Yes. We're his project. He is one of the most aggressive men. that I've ever met. I'm going to whip you into shape. If it kills me, I'm going to whip you into shape. Hey, you set the rules. I'm just trying to follow. Oh, man. And sometimes I don't set the rules, and he'll follow. Sometimes he will take that rule book, he'll rip a couple pages out, then he'll handwrite his own, and he'll staple them in there and make you think that it's the original. Do you have this guy at work? Ask yourself, do you have this guy at work? The guy that says this to you? hey, you got something in the fridge if you didn't know it. Busy body. And you go, and it's been there two days, 48 hours. I'm helping you. And he goes, it's there. And I go, okay. He did it this morning. He did it this freaking morning. You have this guy at work. You have the guy at work that forgets his lunchbox every day, has 52 spoons that he's brought from home. He's got 10 shirts, two belts.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. He's right. You know, we were interviewing people for a position. And Jay's actually really good. I will hand it to you. I shouldn't have been surprised, but he's a damn good interviewer. And one thing that I will give him credit for, he lets people know ahead of time what to expect with him. No doubt. He says in this interview. He goes, now, I just want to let you know, I run a clean ship. And my butt. No way. Dude, my butt clenched up. And I literally got, I got nervous. Yeah. And he goes, would you call yourself an organized person? Oh, my God. And the person that was applying for the job said, yeah, I think so. And he said, because I like things in the studio to be rather neat. And Mikey, he doesn't have such an emphasis on that as I do. But I like things to be tidy. That's true. And I wanted to say to the person, get out of here. You don't understand what he's saying to you. He's going to kill you if you leave something out and he's going to kill you. You can work here.
For two days, and it's guaranteed that he's going to walk in and go. I hate him. I hate him. I'm done. Yeah, you know why? Because I found a bubble gun rapper. And we'll go, what's a bubble gun rapper? Anyway. True. Woodsy, what is happening? with the free agency situation and the Chargers? Well, this is a fun time of year if you've got money to spend. And the Chargers are going to have some money to spend in free agency. Right now, already, they have between $10 and $15 million to work with, which is a lot of dough. But they are going to clear another $10 off the books by waiving left tackle Marcus McNeil. Because he's gimpy. He's not expected to get a clean bill of health from the Chargers. He has a neck issue, and he protects Phillip Rivers' blindside. It's important that that person be... very healthy and very good at their job. Yes. He didn't play much last year. So $10 million off the books with him. They're probably expected to release or at least renegotiate the contract of a defensive end Luis Castillo. Who was also not hurt. Broken leg last year. So that would clear about another million bucks of his $6 million cap number. Chris Dealman.
Had a seizure last year, some concussion issues. If they get him off the books, that's another five and a half. Takeo Spikes is due almost $3 million. He's an older guy. He's an older guy, 35 years old in December. So conceivably, $23 million cut from the Chargers payroll, meaning they'll have anywhere from $10 million to $33 million to spend on free agency, which is absolutely incredible. The bad news is Vincent Jackson is a free agent. Oh, boy. And the word around the campfire is that Vincent Jackson may have caught his last pass from Phillip Rivers. Really? They're not expected to use the franchise tag. If you don't know what the franchise tag is, every team can franchise one player. Yeah. And what they do is they take the average of the, I think it's the top five or top ten best at that position. They give them the average. Yeah, highest paid. So what they'll do with Vincent. They probably are not going to franchise him. Now, he's a frustrating guy. He's a frustrating guy. He's got the size, the speed, the hands. Never caught more than 68 balls in a year. Never broken double digits in touchdowns. So he's going to command a big, big salary because he's that prototype that you look for. But imagine if a team like Green Bay goes and gets VJ or New England goes and gets VJ. They need receivers. New Orleans.
Oh, boy. Can you imagine the New Orleans Saints with Vincent Jackson? You want to, I say, if it were me, if it were me and I was running the ship, I'd franchise him. I'd get one more year out of him. Let's just see what he can do. Woodsy has really changed my opinion about something, though, and that is the importance of the offensive line for the Chargers. Yes, it's a major overhaul is necessary. And you were saying, Woodsy said, if he was GM, his focus would be... We got to protect Phillip Rivers. There's no question. I mean, Phillip last year didn't have his best year. He threw a lot of interceptions. Most of that, he had no time. When given time, see the Baltimore game against one of the best defenses in this country. When they gave him time, he shredded Baltimore. And I mean shredded them. You give that guy time in the pocket and time to throw that football, you got one of the best quarterbacks in the world. And we haven't, you know, even if you take Vijay out of the equation. we'd still have talented receivers. Absolutely. And so, Phillip will get the ball to somebody. He will. He will. But, boy, you'd hate to see that guy with a Patreon on the side of his helmet or that G, that Green Bay logo, just out there catching bombs from Aaron Rodgers. Can you imagine? Yeah, dude. So, what is the controversy that's going on?
With Rodney Harrison. Well, Rodney Harrison played for the Patriots for many years, was in several Super Bowls. Yeah, and here. Phenomenal, phenomenal football player, great leader. He got wind of the whole Rob Gronkowski situation. And if you don't know what that is, after the Super Bowl, immediately after the Super Bowl, Rob Gronkowski goes out to the team party. I'm assuming he got drunk because you don't take your shirt off and dance with LMFAO unless you're hammered. And he's up there dancing, having a great time. He lost the Super Bowl. Just lost the Super Bowl. And he didn't do much in it because he was hurt. Yes. But he's up there dancing. Dancing on his bum ankle. Yeah, with LMFAO. So Rodney Harrison is talking to a sports radio show in Chicago. And here's what he had to say. I think he disrespected himself because there's a time and place for everything. And that's why I said. all throughout this season, that that's the reason why they struggled, you know, on defense. They even struggled at times on offenses because I felt like, you know, they had so many young players. And I guarantee you this, if Willie McGinnis, Teddy Bruschi, and Larry Izzo, and Richard Seymour, myself, would have been in that locker room or at that party, you know, he probably would have got his head wrong. There's no reason for that to happen. When we lost the Super Bowl, any of my Super Bowl losses, I was so devastated. The last thing I ever wanted to do was...
party. You know, let alone dance and take off your shirt. It's just immaturity. It's not right. And I'm not saying he made a mistake. And I'm sure he feels absolutely stupid about it at this point. But there's a time and place for everything. But the leadership has to step up and someone has to pull him to the side and say, look, young man, this is inappropriate. This is not the time nor the place. You need to grow up. It is. When you think about it, you go, boy, that's weird judgment. You know, the interesting part about it, though, is that their veteran offensive lineman, Matt Light, right there with him, shirt off, right there with him. So, you know, Rodney Harrison is saying, look, veterans need to step up and school this youngster. Well, Matt Light's up there shaking it, too, with his shirt on. Yeah, having a ball. So, you know, not all is rosy for the Patriots. Not at all. Joe Pesci. Hey. 69. Oh, wow. 69 years old today. Still got it. That's right. Mia Farrow, 67. Wow. Carole King. Remember her? Singer? Singer. Oh, yeah. Big player. When I was growing up, Carole King was a big player in the house. What song? Do you know? I don't know the name of the... No, no, no. Debbie Boone. I don't know the names of the songs, but as soon as I hear them, they bring back all those memories. She is 70.
Years old today. My brother used to have a lot of Carole King records. Wow. Travis Tritt, 49. Travis Gitt. And Jim J. Bullock. Star of Too Close for Comfort, Spaceballs, and Kissing Jessica Stein. Mike, it's J.M. J. Bullock. That's right. J.M. is his name. It's J.M. J. Bullock? J.M. J. Bullock. I didn't know he added an M. Yeah, there's no I in it. Well, J.M.J. Bullock is now 57 years of age. How about that? Identical J as Bell. By the way, the Shamu case. You know, PETA took SeaWorld to court and said, basically, what you're doing with these killer whales is slavery. You have them locked up, slavery, and a federal judge looked at the case and said, get... Get out of my courtroom. Get out of here. Get out of here. This is an exact quote from him when he heard it. Get me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Yeah, he threw the case out yesterday. It's too bad. And he said, yeah, they're not slaves. And they're also not violating the amendment of the Constitution. And so get out.
Get out. Get out. I know I'd rather be the coach. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Well fed. Having to deal with any predators. Who's a predator for an orca whale? Predator for an orca whale could be sharks or other orcas. Maybe. Yeah? What about that? They have those gang fights, you know? Yeah. Sticks and chains and stuff. Sitting there and see what, yeah. When you're a jet, you're a jet. Sharks and the whales. Sharks and the whales. Yeah. Hey, all I know is, you know, I think SeaWorld treats them pretty good. You can swim around. Be like a cage. Jay, do you like the zoo? I think they perform a great benefit when an animal is injured, and they nurse them back to health, and I think you should be able to go see those animals as they're on their way to recovery. But otherwise, let's just let them do what they do. A study just came out and said people are more addicted to social media like Twitter than we are to tobacco. By the way, if you want to follow us on Twitter, it's MikeyShowMikey, MikeyShowWoods, MikeyShowLauren, and...
Mikey showed Jay. Of course it's addicting. Of course it is. Woods was going to go off of it for a week and couldn't stay off Facebook for more than three days or four days? Four days. Four days. Four days he said, look, I don't care. You can say whatever you want. I'm coming back. I'm back. And as Jay pointed out earlier, Woods has been doing really good. He has been losing weight. I can see it. Yep. Now, yesterday, his wife sent him a text message that said, Dear, you left your workout gear at home. So what do you do? Shut up. What do you do? What? And how does he know, Woods? Because I told him. You did? I told him. I told him in confidence. In confidence? Well, I was going to wait to talk about it on the air. I didn't know you could bring it out at 6.03. So you went to Jack in the Box. Yeah. Getting that text message from my wife that said, hey, all your gear is here. I thought, hey, free reign. It's the hall pass. Typical fat guy. I left here.
To drive home, okay? I was going to drive home, put my gear on, go to another Choose Fitness and Workout. I get a call from my friend Lauren O'Brien. She says, you got to come back to the station. We have to redo this spot we cut. Nah. I turn around. I'm halfway home. Right. I come back, and by then, I'm just pissed. Right. And I go, you know what I need? I need a sourdough jack. I need some curly fries. I need two tacos and a Dr. Pepper. Wow. Look at how fat you are. I felt like Josh Hamilton. Okay, walking into that bar. And that's not me being mean. That's a true story. I felt like Josh Hamilton walking into a bar. I did. You did? I'm looking over my shoulder. I sat in some greasy booth in the back and was like. Let's go into the fast food place and eat there. Like a sex pervert. I asked him, why did you do that? Why does he do that? And he still can't explain it. I can't. And when we've gone together. And he wants to go into the restaurant and sit in McDonald's and sit at the hard plastic booth. He wants to sit there. If I'm going to go, I want to go. Yeah. And I'd rather get my goods. Woods likes to go to the crack dealer's house and hang out with the crack dealer. And sit on the guy's couch and stuff. And I'm like, dude, I don't want to chat here. Let's get out of our cars and let's get the hell out. And Woods is like...
Let's just hang out on the couch and sit here. The guy's got a TV. Let's just hang out. I'm like, dude, it's the crack guy's place. This is a weird couch, and I want to sit here. People were looking at me. I thought, and I'm like, you don't know me. You don't know who. You don't know me. Look away. You look away from me right now. Do not look at me. But I did. I got home, and I went for a run, and I ran the stairs at the beach. Thinking about Jay, probably. Yeah, I did. I did. So at least I got a workout in. If you want a workout, you got to have somebody's. voice in your head to keep you motivated. If you're hearing strange sounds over San Diego skies, I'll tell you why when we come back. And also, we're going to play catchphrase, so call us right now. And you're going to pick Team Fit or Team Fat. Team Fit, L-O-B-N-J, Team Fat, me and Woods. What's the prize today, Jay? Today's prize is a $50 gift card to Dave & Buster's. Check out their daily happy hour, Monday through Friday, eat, drink, play. There you go. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. Excellent job. Huh? Hey, gang control pal Woodsy for the San Diego Padres Fan Fest. It is at Petco Park this Saturday. You're going to get a chance to meet your favorite players and much more at the 2012 San Diego Padres Fan Fest. Again, it is this Saturday. It's a free event, so that's pretty awesome.
in itself. There's an autograph session with players, coaches and alumni. There's a Q&A session with players and front office executives and tours of Petco Park. and the Padres Clubhouse. Fans will also get a chance to run the bases, pitch in the bullpen, catch balls on the field, which is really, really cool. If you've got little kids, this is an awesome, awesome day. This will be my third FanFest in a row. I cannot wait to go. It's always a good time to be able to walk around a major league ballpark. So it also features an annual garage sale with proceeds benefiting the Padres Foundation. Season tickets are also available for purchase. So you can go to their website. It's Padres.com. or just come out to San Diego Padres Fan Fest at Petco Park this Saturday, and it's from 10 to 5, and it is a good, good time. I will see you there. It's no secret that the secret to a great relationship is communication. And this Valentine's Day, Vons has the gifts at Vons Club Prices that will help you say all the right things, like, I really care about you, and aren't you glad I didn't get you a flash drive like last year?
Roses definitely speak her language. A dozen roses are just $19.99. Tell her she's one of a kind with handcrafted XOXO bouquets. Only $9.99 each. Say she's stunning with stunning tulips. Fresh cut tulips are just $6.99 each, 10 stem bunches. And right now at Vons, when you purchase $50 or more in gift cards, along with a bouquet of flowers, you'll receive a $10 coupon for your next shopping trip. Mix and match from over 250 gift cards from fashion to dining to entertainment. Perfect for that special someone. Say, I love you with Valentine's gifts from Vons. And sign up for Just For You, our online tool that lets you save more than ever on groceries. You can save $75 in five minutes. Sign up for Just For You at Vons.com. Vons, ingredients for life. Gift card and bouquet offer good with single transaction purchases using Vons Club. Restrictions apply. See gift cards for details, terms, conditions, and fees. Is your hair dry, brittle, and breaking off by the handfuls? Have you fried and damaged your hair from harsh chemicals and heat styling treatments? Are you covering up the holes in your hair where the extensions used to be? Has your hair just stopped growing and won't get any longer? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then log on to OvationHair.com to learn what hundreds of thousands of Ovation Cell Therapy customers have experienced.
How Ovation Cell Therapy can help restore your natural beauty and shine and help your hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Up to twice as fast. Ovation is guaranteed safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. So you can use Ovation with confidence or get a full refund. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. Get ready to feel the love at T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. Because for one day only, all 4G smartphones in the store are free when you switch to T-Mobile. Whoa, did you say all 4G smartphones? Yep, every phone is free. What about those 4G super phones, like the Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every phone is free. So you can get a free Galaxy S2 and watch movies or stream live TV right on your phone. Thanks to T-Mobile's lightning-fast 4G network. Wait, how about that brand new Nokia Lumia 710 and the HTC Amaze 4G?
Free and free. Oh, yeah? What about tablets? Oh, yeah. Some of our best 4G tablets are free, too. Okay. I think I love you. This Saturday is T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. All 4G smartphones are free when you switch to America's largest 4G network. Even our latest 4G Windows phone, Android, and BlackBerry smartphones. Hurry in this Saturday, February 11th, and share the love. New two-year contract on qualifying classic plan required. Mail and rebate card may apply while supplies last. 4G HSPA Plus Network not available everywhere. See participating stores for details. Hey, this is Jay with the Mikey Show, and I wanted to tell you about my good friends over at the Professional Contractor Supply, formerly known as Tulip. If you're in the market for just about any tool, stop by their big sale Saturday, February 18th from 8 to 3 and talk to Ryan or Jose. Everything DeWalt will be sold at cost. Check out the new 20-volt line from DeWalt. More power, longer run time. And the best warranty in class. You got to see the new showroom. It's 10,000 square feet. Their address is 9660 Chesapeake Drive, right off the 15th at Claremont Boulevard. That event date again is February 18th. Stop by a professional contractor supply and pick up that tool you've been waiting for. Lisa, I can't believe how much we have in common. And we just met. I know. We like the same music, the same movies. We even finish each other's sentences. Ready, Lisa? Oh, Ethan, meet Roberto, my boyfriend. Hola.
Love isn't always easy unless you're talking about the Honda easy to love sale. Right now through February 14th, all nine Honda dealers of San Diego County have great deals and lease offers on just about every Honda in stock. Visit your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Call me. All for just $199 per month at Kearney Mesa Subaru. We have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru grand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit SanDiegoSubaruDealer.com. Sun Road Automotive. Serving San Diego for 35 years. 2012 force releases model CFB for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter in 3,555. Due at least signing. No security deposit. Unapproved above average credit. One at this payment. Then 40, 32, 78. Number one claims based on 2011.
Security sales report offers expire month end. Watching? Wondering? You've been putting off that new car long enough. It's time for a new car and a better way to buy it. Introducing Mission Federal Credit Union's easy car loan. Incredibly low rates. Incredibly affordable payments. Incredibly easy. And my best friend just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service the way it ought to be. Oh, yeah. My sister just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. And now, with the Mission Fed easy car loan, your dream car even closer. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. My next-door neighbor just got an easy car loan at Mission Fed. Just like that. Apply today. Call 800-500-6328. Or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. San Diego Banks at Mission Fed. Vision Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration. All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Don't miss Kohl's Love to Save Sale for great Valentine's Day gifts. Shop Power Hours, Friday 3 to 11 p.m. and Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. for great prices on fine jewelry, fragrance, sleepwear, and more. Kohl's, expect great things.
Mikey Show this Friday from 2 to 4 p.m. at One Industries as FM 94.9 helps them celebrate their 15th anniversary. Be one of the first 100 to show up and get a free One Industries 15th anniversary t-shirt. While you're there, check out the new spring 2012 gear and get autographs from all your favorite riders like Justin Brayton, the Rockstar Energy Suzuki team, the Geico Power Sports Honda team, Monster Energy Kawasaki team, Yoshimura Suzuki team, the Athertons and more. Always food and drink and team bikes on display. Plus, you can enter to win gear signed by Justin Brayton. Rockstar gear signed by the entire Rockstar Energy Suzuki team. And a gamma helmet signed by all of the one athletes. That's all happening Friday from 2 to 4 p.m. 12270 World Trade Drive Suite 103 in San Diego. Visit FM949SD.com today for all the information and directions. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealers, the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota train factory technicians. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts. Well, you've got a little bit of a backup this morning as you travel on to the 905 westbound corporate center drive to about the 125 north. It's a solid 35 miles an hour. Also, as you head over on to the 8 eastbound, a slight delay from Sunset Cliffs Boulevard that speeds about 40.
And swinging up towards the 8 westbound at Lake Jennings Park Road, we've got speeds about 38 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Having trouble paying your mortgage? Free financial assistance. It's available. Visit keepyourhomecalifornia.org or text HOME to 55678. See if you qualify. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. But I'm super gullible. I have a crazy suggestion. Maybe you like somebody for their insight. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. I hope I like the warm effect. Already started hearing from people saying, asking for the day off. M1V said, yeah, she asked for the day off for Friday, February 17th. And a few people have already done that. It's a good idea. Ask for the day off on Friday.
February 17th, which is a week from tomorrow. We're doing a live broadcast from 5.30 a.m. to 9 a.m. And we would love to see you come out. What are we going to do? We're going to have L.O.B. dancing like a pussycat doll. In addition to L.O.B. on stage with 10 beautiful M1s, Woods and Jay will be doing a drag race. Dressed in drag, doing a race. Perfect. Should be a lot of fun. By the way, if you hear loud noises this week, it's Camp Pendleton. They're doing a live fire training session this week. And it's live fire artillery. Big stuff. So you're going to hear it? And it could be heard for up to 50 miles from where they're doing it. I've heard it. Yeah. It's pretty gnarly. 24-hour live fire training session. It's going to go on for Friday and Saturday. It's already started, too. And it's supposed to end on February 12th. So bang, bang.
Hey, baby. Hey, baby. You will hear loud bang bang. Just want to let you know. Because you're going to wonder, what the heck is that? Now you know. from Mira Mesa. Are you there? Yeah, I am. And who would you like, Team Fit or Team Fat? I'm going to go with Team Fit. All right, that is L.O.B. and Jay. Hang on the line and let's see. M1 Bob from Temecula, you've got Woods and I. We're Team Fat, okay? Are you there? Are you there, buddy? Well, we'll get him back on the line.
He's got team fat. We're going to do great. You ready? Are you mind-melding? I'm mind-melding. And not only am I mind-melding, apparently Advil Cold and Sinus actually helps me play this game. All right, don't hit any buttons that you're not supposed to. I'm going to tell you that before every game. Thank you for reminding me because I would do that. Category is sports and games. Let's do this. Are you ready? Yep. You wear this when you go possibly snowboarding, but it's the other thing that you do. Ski suit. First word, correct. Second word, jacket. Yep. Okay, you used to say this word wrong with a T on the end. Clift. Yes, and when you jump off of it, like you want... Go jump off a cliff. No, but more like a swan. Cliff diver. No. Cliff diving. Yes. If a baseball team does really well, this is three words, they... Win the game. The first two are right. They win the series. Another one. They win the...
They win the game. They win the contest. You can get into a race. They win the... Come on. That's such a bit. Baseball. They win the... Yes. They win the pennant. Even I knew that. Yeah, Jay knew it. Say Yankees. So team two. Say Yankees. Gets a point. There we go. We're team two. Here we go. We're going to pick a new cat category. All right. What's the category, my friend? We're going to do... It's hard, though. Your brain gets jammed. It's like it gets log jammed. Side tech, because that worked well last time. All right, let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go. Oh, when you're done working on the computer, you... Shut it down. Log out. Yes. O positive, O negative. One type. Yep. Oh, wow. This means it goes on forever. It's a sideways eight. Infinity. Yes. Oh, God. Oh, God. If you are trying to stop smoking, you'll wear one. A nicotine patch. Yep.
Oh, gosh. Oh, if I can't breathe, young kids have it. Asthma. Inhaler. Oh, wow. Oh, God. Oh, boy. This crazy meat that they eat in Hawaii. Poi. No, meat. It's meat. Blank and eggs they eat. It's not. Oh, oh, spam. Okay. And then you're against it. Spam. You're against it. You're against it. Spam rule. Spam law. Spam. Ah! We suck today. It's anti-spam. Which I've never heard of. It's like software, you clown. I wish I knew spam was the second word. Oh, my goodness. All right. Okay, here we go. I am going to change this category. Okay. So we got two points now. They got zero. Two points. We'll come back. We'll come back. Here we go. I'm going to change it to food. All right. Mike, you have a chance. He knows everything about it. All right, ready? It's a wiener, and you put it in a bun. Hot dog. Boy.
This is something that you would give to somebody as a... It's two words. It's something that you would give to somebody as a gift, and you pick it from a tree. An apple pie. No, no, no. An orange. What is that called? A fruit. Yes, and you put it in a... Fruitcake. No, it's a... Fruit basket! Yes. Oh, it comes from a cow. Milk. And it's not vanilla. Chocolate milk. Oh, gosh, yes. Wow. Carrots, celery, I eat them. Vegetables. And they're not cooked. They're raw vegetables. Yep. Oh, gosh. Okay. It's a ha-ha-ha type of... Oh, fridge. Yes. And you would make sandwiches with it. Fridge bread. Yes! Oh, gosh. Oh, God, we suck. Everybody hates this on a... In a... Gosh, darn it. We are losing terror. We are dominating. Airline food. Airline food. Oh, gosh. Darn it. Hey, Ella B. All we need is one more point. That's right. And we could sweep. Weird. M1. Chris, are you there from Mira Mesa? Are you there, Chris? I'm here. Do it. Do it. Listen, if they get one more point, they win. But we're going to try to fight back from oblivion. Hang on.
We can do this, Woods. We can do it. We got this. We got this. I'm going to stay. No, I'm going to change category. I'm going to go everything. Oh, boy. Here we go. Oh, kids go to this every day from 730 to. School. And then if I'm not a very good chef, I might go. School cook. No. School cafeteria. The other way around it. Cafeteria school. No. What do I do if I want to be a chef? I go to. School cook. Cooking school. Yes. Baseball does not have one of these. Football does. For money. For money. When you get this a year, you have a... Salary? And then... I'm wearing this on my head. Contra... Cap. Salary cap. Oh, wow. That was pretty good. Oh, gosh. You're inside. Inside. And you're going to make it look nice.
I'm an interior design director. Interior designer. Close. You're going to, oh, for Halloween, you put up these. Curtains. No. For Halloween. Decorations. Yes. I'm an interior decorator. Yes. Oh, gosh. We're dead. Oh, wow. Not only did we lose, we were dominated. Like, they bee-slapped us. Yeah, they did. They basically bee-slapped us. I mean, we didn't even score. We didn't even score one point. Freaking point. Not one point. Oh, that's embarrassing. M1 Chris from Mira Mesa. Holy cow, did you win. Yeah, you did. All right, guys. Good job. Hang on the line. Suck it, Chris. Beyond spanking. I mean, gosh darn. Me and Woodsy were not able to mind meld today. Come on, dude. Come on, Mike. Better than that.
That's the future. This is Will Ferrell introducing the Chicago Bulls during the Hornets-Bulls game in New Orleans. And to introduce the starting lineup, Will Ferrell. For tonight's game between the visiting Chicago Bulls and your New Orleans Hornets. What? But first, the visiting Chicago Bulls. At forward, number five, he still lives with his mother, Carlos Boozer. At forward, number nine, he collects rare birds and has a pet dolphin named Chachi. At center, number 13, he's a Scorpio and a horrible dancer, Joaquin Noah. At guard, number 11,
He once ate 20 hot dogs in an hour. Ronnie Brewer. Number one, his favorite movie is The Notebook. Derek Rose. Makes it a little bit more fun. It's a little bit more fun to go to a game, to have Will Ferrell there doing his deal. I don't know who Will Ferrell is. I hope he's a nice guy in person. I heard he is very nice. Now, speaking of nice, I want you to ask yourselves this. What do you like when you play games? You know, whether it's a... To win. Yeah, you play to win, you know. Whether it's a game like Catch Race or whether it's a board game at home or whether it is, well, the game that L.O.B. played yesterday. First, we got to tell you that for Christmas, L.O.B.'s boyfriend, Matt Commerce, her BFMC, got her a balloon ride. Hot air balloon. Hot air balloon. Long time boyfriend. Yes. Four years. Four years. And counting. High school.
That's right. High school. It's like high school. Oh, yes. We've been through a whole cycle. Yes, that is true. Now, first time they went to go on said hot air balloon, couldn't do it, right? No, it was too cloudy, too murky. Okay. That's what they said. Well, yesterday was a beautiful day. Yeah. So what happened when you went yesterday? She said it was too windy. Too windy? She said the wind was picking up and it was letting down and it was too unpredictable. Uh-huh. Yeah. Couldn't go up. Don't want to do that. Yeah. You know what they decided to do instead? Let's go have a fun day together. Let's play a little game of bocce ball. Oh. That sounds harmless enough. Yeah. Sure. Except you don't realize you're playing with someone named Lauren O'Brien. Right. Right? Now, she can be. She can be a little. Sometimes we call her the Irish Cyclone. Yes. Right? She'll get you. She'll get you. Now, she may have thrown her ball up into the trees twice. She may have.
And then she may have also swallowed a bug and thrown up. What? Only, only, only our girl Lauren O'Brien. I was like, how did it escalate to this? L-O-B. You wanted to start the day in a beautiful hot air balloon. And it ends with you eating a bug and vomiting. I know. I'm supposed to be on a hot air balloon right now. Oh, it escalated quickly. How did the bocce ball get thrown up into the tree? Well, okay. Excuse me. You still have that bug in your throat. Yeah, I know, right? We were playing in the park and it was just too level and too easy. So we were trying to make it interesting by making obstacles. We would be like, you have to bounce it off that rock or you have to throw it like over the tree or whatever. And twice, Matt, who is a lot stronger than I was, was like, you have to go over the tree. So the first time he threw that into there, I got the ball stuck. Oh, my God.
And he had to, like, throw his ball up and then run out of the way. They're just trying to have fun. Wow. That's it. They just want to have a good time. And then he did it again, but he was like, there's no way. He's like, this is, like, the smallest tree in the park, and it's, like, an evergreen tree. Were there other people around? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So we, second time we got stuck. Then I was looking up while he was trying to get my ball out of the tree. And I was like, because it almost fell on his head. And right when I went, I must have swallowed like whatever bug was in the air. So I was like, it's stuck in my throat and I had to throw up. What's right now is looking at L.O.B. like she is a human oddity. Trying to understand her just like. How her? And it's true. I mean, stuff like that, that's L-O-B. It's unbelievable. Her boyfriend just sitting there watching her puke because she got a bug down her throat. He was like, yeah, this is just like Christmas morning because I threw up on Christmas morning as well. Different reason. But that was from a hangover. Yes. Now, we mentioned this earlier. Yesterday, I was out enjoying my day and got an email from her. Your friend.
My friend and producer Jay. Alleged friend. Allegedly. It said, Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid. And I didn't have time to read it then. I had to read it later. But it says, and I quote, Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid. Quickly, is this a homemade list? I searched and found a bunch of them. Okay. Mikey's favorite toy was syrup. That's pretty genius. That's pretty genius. Mikey learned to count using aerosol cheese empties. Mikey's favorite color was Dorito. That's pretty good. He sent this to me. I know. He sent it to all of us. There's no explanation. Yeah, Lauren wrote back, did you mean to send this? Mikey replaced the tassels on his tricycle with curly fries. True story. True story.
Mikey's pacifier was a giant turkey leg. The kid from Modern Family just signed on to star in Mikey's biopic. Biopic. Sorry, biopic. That's sad. That's mean. Mikey wouldn't drink a juice box unless it was filled with bacon fat. Oh. They say he's right themselves. The side of Mikey's crib looked like the Kool-Aid man just smashed his way through it. Uh-oh. Adam's losing it. Mikey's sit and spin was just a sit. He's a monster. That is good. You couldn't get the momentum because you were so chubby. That is so good. Mikey's favorite condiment was pudding. You're a monster. He's trying to help you. Fish sticks and pudding.
When the school's gym teacher really wanted to punish the students, he would make them run laps around Mikey. Mikey's lunchbox needed wheels. When Mikey was out sick, they would give two cafeteria workers a day off. That one got wood so much, he just collapsed onto the beanbag in the studio. During games of hide-and-seek, Mikey's classmates would hide in his folds. Still looking for a couple kids. Mikey got out of school on Bring Your Obese Child to Work Day. Mikey was included in the government's No Child with a Big Behind program. And finally...
Mikey's school pictures had to be taken by Google Earth. Did that cafeteria work? Two workers the day off. You had to give two workers the day off. Jane, Helen, this is the superintendent. You do not need to come in today. It looks like Mikey's sick. Mikey's sick. Imagine my surprise yesterday looking down at my email. Oh, perfect. Look what Jay sent. He's out. The dude is out. That got me so good. Oh, boy. He's trying to be dynamic. Sales of bottled water is banned now at the Grand Canyon. So if you go there, you cannot have bottles of water anymore. Perfect. Yeah, because they were finding them around the park and it was spoiling views. It's the Grand Freak. It's a freaking Grand Canyon. Yeah, and people have somehow managed to litter that. Yeah. My goodness. If you can't keep it clean on your own, we'll put rules for you. Yeah, well, they eliminated the sale of bottled water within 30 days after 10. Water stations were installed at the park so visitors can use that. Yep. Nothing like a good batch of well water. Yes. Oh, it's the best water there is. Oh, yeah, it's delicious. Sure it is, yeah. Next story is going to blow your mind. You know what a helicopter parent is. That's a parent that hovers. Basically, every single thing their kid does, they're on top of them. Hey, hey, don't do that. Do this. Well, we are now getting into the generation where helicopter kids...
and the helicopter parents are adults. When we come back and I tell you what those same helicopter parents are doing to their 20-something helicopter kids, you are going to lose your cock-a-doodie mind. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Let's say that today you're in the market for some new furniture. Jerome's should be the only place that you consider. Why? 57 years in the business to start. They're a family-owned business, and I've met with them and talked to them, and their business model is flat-out honesty with the customer. No gimmicks, no smoke and mirrors, no phony sales, pure value every day. Everyday low prices. They don't do the shtick.
They don't do all the stuff that a lot of the other places do, where they go, hey, come in and we'll sell you this and give you this. And they have turned down radio stations that have come to them and said, hey, how about you guys give away a couch and we'll give something crazy away. They go, no, we don't do that schlock. We've got low prices every single day, and we want you to tell the audience, your audience, that we've got low prices every single day. They don't have to wait for some goofy kind of sale. So go to one of the Jerome's locations. I've been using Jerome's for years. San Diego on Morena Boulevard, San Marcos, Chula Vista, El Cajon, Scripps Ranch, Marietta, and Corona. They are all over the place. And if you're in the market for a mattress, don't go anywhere else. As a matter of fact, I found out. that Jerome himself, the dude, his thing is mattresses. They even make their own brand of mattress. And if you go, well, how good is it? I don't know. Just picture a guy that that's his thing. That's like his deal, mattresses. He's really into them. Go check out Jerome's. When Ford, Honda, and Toyota owners drove a Chevy, Cruze Eco, and a Sonic, something unexpected happened.
I actually would like to drive away in this car right now. I keep forgetting that it's a Chevy. The price is great. It's really comfortable. I have great visibility. I feel safe. When I think of Chevys, I think of like dudes in a truck. So this is actually honestly surprising in a good way. So there you have it. They fell for Chevy after just one test drive. Will you dare to compare your car to a Chevy and get a great deal? Visit your local Chevy dealer today. Now, very well-qualified lessees can get a low-mileage lease on an EPA-estimated 36 MPG Highway Cruise LS for around $159 a month for 24 months with 1809 due at signing. No security deposit required. Mileage charge of 20 cents per mile over 24,000 miles. Tax, title, license, and dealer fees extra. Your payments may vary. Residency restrictions apply. Call 1-800-950-CHEV for details. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today. Standard superhero lore will tell you that every hero has a special powers card they can pull out whenever they're faced with a challenge. Teleportation, the ability to fly or communicate with sea life, all fine examples. But now there is a special power we can all harness, the power of being able to save money really, really well. When you're ready to save money, at Wells Fargo, we're with you. With our exclusive Way to Save savings account, you can save money automatically.
Every time you use your debit card to make a purchase or pay a bill with Wells Fargo Online Bill Pay, $1 is transferred from your Wells Fargo checking to your Way to Save account. You can also set up recurring daily or monthly transfers to save even more money fast. Start utilizing your special power to save money. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo to discuss how Way to Save can help you start saving automatically. You'll be surprised how a few simple steps can yield positive results. Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member of DIC. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola, now in black, white, and purple, the perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet. Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple. Now make me love the price. And he says, no problem. Because right now, you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. More colors, same edge. Droid Razor. Connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network. Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon.
Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash Best Network. It's no secret that the secret to a great relationship is communication. And this Valentine's Day, Vons has the gifts at Vons Club prices that will help you say all the right things like, I really care about you and aren't you glad I didn't get you a flash drive like last year? Roses definitely speak her language. A dozen roses are just $19.99. Tell her she's one of a kind with handcrafted XOX obocates. Only $9.99 each. Say she's stunning with stunning tulips. Fresh cut tulips are just $6.99 each, 10 stem bunches. And right now at Vons, when you purchase $50 or more in gift cards, along with a bouquet of flowers, you'll receive a $10 coupon for your next shopping trip. Mix and match from over 250 gift cards from fashion to dining to entertainment. Perfect for that special someone. Say I love you with Valentine's gifts from Vons. And sign up for Just For You, our online tool that lets you save more than ever on groceries. You can save $75 in five minutes. Sign up for Just For You at Vons.com. Vons. Ingredients for life. Gift card and bouquet offer good with single transaction purchases using Vons Club. Restrictions apply. See gift cards for details, terms, conditions, and fees. If you're in the market for a Chevy Cruiser Sonic, get President's Day sale prices today, but only at Bobstall Chevrolet and La Mesa. Shopping early gets you the best selection, as well as a guaranteed lowest price on all Chevys, in writing, but only at Bobstall Chevrolet and La Mesa. And remember, when you buy your new car or truck, Bobstall Chevrolet can get you more for your trade. We really want it.
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at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Just realize that I haven't given the word of the day that you need to be listening for. The word of the day today is piano. So you've got two hours. Sometime between now and nine, I will say the word piano. And when I do work that into a sentence, call her nine. A pair of flights to Mammoth Mountain and also a $75 gift code to proflowers.com. And qualify you for dinner for two at the Palm, downtown San Diego, which is pretty rad. The Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, L-O-B...
And Jay. Woodsy, Tiger Woods on Pebble Beach today? Yes, sir. I'm going to tell you all about that in a second. I wanted to tell you that sports is brought to us today by our friends at Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Tiger Woods will make his PGA season debut today at the Pebble Beach National Pro-Am. It's the first time he's played it since 2002. And guess who he is paired with? Who? Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo. Really? Yeah. This is Tiger Woods talking about finally being healthy. He's had a lot of health issues in the last couple of years, and he says he's feeling good. For a long time there, there was always some kind of limited ball count or I got to get back to treatment. I got to do icing, stemming. I got to do all those monotonous things just to tee it up and do it again the next day. That's no longer the case.
Watch out for a healthy Tiger Woods, my friend. Watch out. He's getting better. I think he is. He played really well over in Dubai. He finished third, I think. Look out, ladies. Yeah, watch out, ladies. Somebody's back in the game. Also, I thought this was a pretty classy move. The Jets and the Giants of New York, both football teams, fierce and bitter rivals. The Jets showed a little humility, and I thought it was cool. They took out a full-page ad in the New York Daily News congratulating the Giants on Super Bowl XLVI. It said, You played with passion and toughness, capturing a hard-earned and well-deserved championship. Oh, wow. I thought that was pretty cool. That's pretty nice. Rex Ryan had made it a point to say, hey, we're nobody's little brother. Well, you kind of are. And I thought that was a pretty classy move by the Jets organization to say, hey, congratulations to our fellow New York counterpart. I agree. Yeah. It's going to be beautiful today, and it's going to keep... Stay in beautiful throughout the weekend. I mean, what you're seeing out there is only going to get better, which should be good news for you. As you're driving on the freeway right now, no matter where you are, know that this beautiful city that you live in is only going to sparkle even brighter over the next few days. This is the greatest freaking place. No doubt. I did my first walk by myself on the beach yesterday. Creep. Yeah, I was kind of not creepy, but I was trying to work out. And I looked around and I go,
Look where the hell I live. That's right. Look where I live. It was unbelievable. Listen, sometimes if you're inland, I understand if you're inland. Because a lot of times you can live inland. You can be in El Cajon Lemon Grove or somewhere in East County where living in San Diego doesn't mean the beach. But it's still a rad place to live. Even if you're in Santee. This is a rad place to live because you could live in one of the East County cities but dig the ocean and go to the ocean. Now, if you happen to live in PB, Mission Beach, Encinitas, any of the areas up on the north part of the coast, I just want you to picture a day like today right around 430 when the sun is starting to turn orange and it's warm and it's clear. and you look out there and you see the Pacific Ocean, this place, you just can't beat this place. And I'll tell you what. People from Los Angeles, as big-headed as they get about their city, their glitzy city, they know this place has a different vibe. San Diego got a different vibe than Los Angeles. This is an incredible place to live. Paradise. It makes my wife, Jamie, tear up.
When she goes for a run on the beach and the sun's setting, it makes her cry. Oh, yeah. Like almost every time. Let's see. So M1HB is on the line from Scripps Ranch, has a helicopter parent story, which is actually exactly what this story was. M1HB, are you there? Of course I am. Go ahead. Tell us this story. I have two. The first one was where I work. We each take turns helping the front desk because that girl needs to take a lunch. So the first one was a lady called and so I answered the phone and she wanted to find out how to go about applying for her son for our hospital. Now, if you don't know, a helicopter mom is a mom that hovers. over their child as they're growing up and make sure that every single thing is taken care of. Let me do that. Let me do this. Do that. Do this. And just sort of ordering them around and making sure and controlling everything about their life. And so you're saying, HB, that you'll get calls from moms saying, how do I apply for my son? Yeah, I've had moms and I've had aunts. I've had more than one, yeah. That is unbelievable.
Yeah, and the second one was a friend of mine was hiring a couple people and a mom came into an interview with her son. And he said, what are you doing? She said, I'm coming into the interview with you. He said, I'm done. Thank you. Have a good day. Well, guess what? Four percent. What? Four percent of parents will go to job interviews with their children. And HB, if this kid didn't like it. He's the exception because a lot of these helicopter kids are so used to it that when they're helicopter moms, the 4% that go, they let them go. Oh, no, the kid wanted his mom in there. Oh, he wanted it. Oh, he did want mom in there. Yeah, my friend who was interviewing said, you know, no need. Yeah, thank you. Oh, my God. I mean, I've heard a lot of things. So it takes a lot to get us all going. That really happened? I can't believe it. I can't believe it. But 4% of parents go with their kids to an interview because they want to be there. Now, that parent, I cannot figure out in my head how, in what world do they think that that is ever okay? Well, it's, I mean.
In defense to this guy, he was still breastfeeding. Yeah. His mom needed to be there just in case. Wow. In defense to him, he was wearing a onesie and at the time was inside of a baby beyond. He was, you know, on the... Can't fault him for that. A little boppy. Now, also, during the interview portion, he would have to take his passy out. to answer the questions. Yeah. And he got burped. Yes. Halfway through the interview, he started to turn a little bit blue. Yeah. And his mom took him, put him over her shoulder, 23 years old, and said, Bradley, Bradley, and Bradley went, There we go. There we go. Who's a big boy? Who's a big boy? Who's a big boy? You're a big boy. HB, thank you for the story. You're welcome. If anybody else has these stories, or if you have a helicopter mom, or if you are a helicopter mom, or if you know about any of this bizarre stuff. Go coach Little League for a year. Yeah, Woodsy says he sees helicopter dads all the time. Come on, man. And moms. Actually, some of the moms were the worst. How do we get these long emails about where their son should be playing and why? And I'm like...
Again. Get a team next year. Woods has said this, and again, it makes me think, in what world? In what world? In what world do you think that it's okay to say to your kid's coach, you need to put my kid, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Listen. That's what the coach is there to do. It's not your job. Isn't that more the norm, though, than the parent that sits out? Oh, no, it's more the norm. You're right. Are you serious? That's not the exception? I had 12 kids on my team, and there were a handful, and I mean maybe four parents, that just left me alone to do my deal. Oh, dude. The rest of them were up my butt with a microscope about every move I made, every pitching move I made. Why did you take him out? Why did you leave him in? Why is he at third base? Why isn't my son at third base? Well, I put your son at third base one time. He jumped over a ground ball, which I've never seen at any level ever. He hit it to him, and it was coming to him, and he jumped over it like it was a hurdle. Like it was a hurdle. Like it was a piece of lava rock flying at him. Listen, moms and dads, it's okay to be out there and be supporting your kid, yelling for your kid and all that stuff.
When you're telling coaches how to coach and when you and now the helicopter parents are getting to the age with these kids that they're interviewing. Tell the boss. Four percent of them are going on these interviews with these 20 something kids. That is one of the most unbelievable statistics I've ever read. It's guaranteed not to get the job. I'm so glad my parents. cut the cord and made me do stuff. I'd be like, oh, come on. They'd be like, no, you call. You want it? You call. You have to. You know, I actually appreciate that about my parents, too. I mean, from the time I was a kid, they had me doing some stuff that was a little bit... older than me. But I think that was good for me in a lot of ways. It got me to be very self-reliant. Spread your wings. Yeah, man. You do that with a kid. And we're going to start to see, because as this statistic comes out, 4%, you're going to start to see the fallout. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What happens when mom dies? What happens when dad dies? It's eventually going to happen. Then you're lost.
You're just completely lost. M1 Chill from Carlsbad is on the line. Are you there, Chill? Yes, I am. Go ahead. Hi. Well, this was when we were in high school, but basically I had a friend who worked with me, and her mom would call every day to see how she was doing or to yell at her, even to yell at her about things that had happened while they were at home, and she would yell at us. if we would tell her that, you know, that, sorry, your daughter is working right now. And she would call every day. And so much to the point that within like two months, we just had to let her go. Oh, my God. Because her mom called too much while she was working. Yeah. Did you ever observe this woman say to her mom, Mom, you can't be calling me? Or did she just go along with it? No, she would try to tell her. But, you know, and I had met her mom before. Her mom was pretty crazy. So, I mean, she had no problem with yelling at her daughter in front of her friends. Oh, my gosh. You know, let alone calling, you know, the food place every day. Poor girl. You know, just to talk to her. Mm-hmm. That's crazy. Hey, thank you for the call. We're getting a lot of calls now, people calling in with some weird stories. Now, here's what I bet. Helicopter moms, they don't want to call.
No. They don't want to call because... They don't know that they're... Yeah, they don't know. They're like, well, that's not me. That ain't me. I'm just a... I just care. Yeah, I'm a concerned parent. Well, I'm involved. And involved. I'm involved. I'm supportive. I'm supportive and involved in my child's life. I encourage. I encourage my child. They don't realize, no, you're hovering. There's a fine line, you know, there is a fine line between letting your kid experience stuff for himself and wanting to protect them from a lot of stuff. That... It's not a fine line. Unless you're driving him there and waiting in the parking lot because he doesn't have a car, that's okay. Walking into the building, not okay. If you have a kid in Little League, it would be my opinion that you cheer. And that's it. Or, if you want a coach, coach. Coach. Become a coach. I always give it to him in writing. I always give it to him in writing at the beginning of the season. It's like, you can say, nice job, but anything else is my job. And don't talk to me about it. That's why I'm here, man. Made him sign it. and send it back to me. M1, Justin has a shocking story for us from La Jolla. Go ahead, Justin. All right. Hey, listen, I'm an employer in San Diego. I've been an employer for many years. And I tell you what, I tell mommy to stay in the lobby if they brought their kid to the interview. That's unbelievable. Wow. Would you even interview him? You think I'd let the mom in on you? No, would you even interview the kid that brought his mom? Well, you know, I tell you what, I'd have a little fun for,
For a few minutes, get to understand the mommy and son relationship. But beyond that, unbelievable. I can't believe 4% of parents take their kids' interviews. Unreal. Hey, thank you very much. M1M Bomb is on the line from Poway and has a helicopter. Mom, first of all, how old are you? I am currently 27 years old. This actually happened a few years ago. I was 24. What happened? I was teaching at a middle school, and this was my first teaching job. And I'm trying to establish myself as a professional teacher while still looking like a student. So anyway, it was a day at school. We had a meeting with staff, and I left my cell phone in my classroom because that's kind of what you do. And my mom couldn't get a hold of me. She got worried and called the front desk. I regret giving her that number because, you know. In case of emergency. So she called the front desk and had them announce to the entire school, Emily Beeler, please call the front desk. Your mom is worried about you. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. The rest of the school year, all the principals and stuff were pretty young.
Oh, my heart just broke for her. Because that had to be mortifying. Just mortifying. She was worried. How dare you, Jay? Here's the deal. With a mom like that, there is not going to be any rationalizing. You're not going to be able to explain to her that that was inappropriate. My mom would do the same thing. I would probably do the same thing. Every time I go back to New Jersey, if I'm going somewhere, even if it's 10 minutes away, call me when you get there. Mom. You're a 30-year-old woman. I live 3,000 miles away. I managed to make it. Well, when you're under my roof, you still check in. Call me when you land. Call me when you get from the airport to the hotel. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of shirt is this that I'm wearing? Polo shirt. If I went to my mom's house right now and knocked on the door and she opened the door, the first thing that she would say to me is, aren't you cold? Yeah. Aren't you cold? I'm fine. No, mom, I'm fine. Mike, you should wear a jacket. It's cold outside.
I'm 41, Mom. I got it. You know, if I feel a chill, I do own a jacket. Several. And so I have discernment. And the discernment will tell me, yes, cold enough for jacket. No, not cold enough for jacket. Now, why do we as kids, why does it bother? But it does. It bothers us. My parents are still bothered when I have just water. They're like, you're not going to have a soda? No iced tea? You don't want lemonade? Wow. How about orange juice? They'll go through, like, their entire cabinet of available beverages. I'm like, I'm good with water. Yeah. You're going to put ice in there? Oh, my God. Gosh. Mom, Dad, I do have choices, you know. I'm capable of making some choices here. Then my mom won't let it go. I just can't believe you're having water with spaghetti. Oh, my God. I had to draw the line. I'll tell you when it gets crazy.
This is when it gets crazy. When you have kids, it gets crazy because your husband's mom will say to you as a mom, now you're a mom, okay? You're a mom now. And your husband's mom will go, you're not going to put socks on him? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Yeah. And you're like, and you're like, you're, you're. You're kidding me, right? This is my kid. This is why people have problems with their in-laws. If I want to paint a mustache on that kid, I can. I can do whatever I want. I will have to defend my wife on this one. When my mom says, ooh, isn't Jake cold? She says, mommy. Mommy knows if he's too cold or if he's not too cold or if he's, you know. Mommy went through labor. Yeah. Just like you did. Yeah. And guess what? You had the opportunity. Yeah, you had several. To be mom. I don't even know how mothers get babysitters.
I feel like I'm going to be hover, because I'm going to be like, I don't trust anyone. Yeah, that's going to be the hard part. That's the hard part, is that if you have a hover mom, it's working your way out of not being a hover mom. If you've got control issues like I do, I can see myself being like, ah, it's a terrible babysitter, so I don't know anything. There's no question. I won't trust anyone. And when she finds a babysitter that does meet the qualification. And she'll never, ever let that person out of her sight. I will dig my hooks in. Yeah, you'll dig your hooks in. 75 bucks an hour. You got it. I was the most coveted babysitter in my neighborhood. Actually, within like a three-mile radius. Doesn't surprise me. So I will be able to sniff them out. Yeah, that was just because of the way you looked, though. No, I was good with kids. The moms like me. Yeah, it doesn't surprise me because L.O.B., and this is putting it a little lightly, has a thing for detail. Yeah, she's meticulous. She's got a bit of a meticulous nature to her, and so she makes sure the job gets done. I make sure it gets done the way it was asked, and I go above and beyond. And then above and beyond. I used to clean people's houses while I babysat. I love it. Did you really? Yeah, because I'd be like, hmm, what am I doing now? Organizing? Yeah. They come home, their library's been alphabetized. Were you in my sock drawer, young lady? I was.
Hey, I was trying to find Alien, the DVD, and I had it with all my sci-fi movies, and I can't find it. Oh, yeah, I put it right next. Right there on top. Yeah, it's A. It's A. First one, A. First one. Yeah. It's right after A Bronx Tale. M1, M1, Tay, Janae. Tay, Janae? Hi, guys, yeah. Go ahead. How's it going? Good morning. Good. It's going good. How are you? I'm good. This whole helicopter mom thing drives me crazy because I never had that. I mean, I had great parents. I loved them very much. When I was growing up, my mom was very ill, so I became very independent. Now I'm 22. I have a full-time job. I work with adults. People who all have families are all stable. stuff, but this one lady that I work with, she, you know, she's always, she works only part time, even though she's the wife of the VP of the company, because she has to be there to pick up her kids, drop them off, to take them to, you know, all their sports. That's another aspect. You're hitting on another aspect, which is the mom that's constantly got to take work time off, because there's constant, I mean,
constantly there is nothing going on wrong with that oh yeah there is yesterday i went to the park and these kids were playing soccer at 2 30 it was soccer practice and i said to my boyfriend that's got to be tough for when you're trying to be a working parent you got to pick your kids up from school you got someone's got to be there yeah great you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't must be great being that employer too she's only working part-time you're the employer you're like all right well I guess Johnny's got to get to soccer practice. I've had it. We'll just be here. We'll be here. Just in the trenches. In the trenches, just trying to be profitable. That's right. Kids are our future. $1,000 fine for throwing a football or frisbee at the beach? What? Nah. Oh, I'll tell y'all about it now. A part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's your old pals, Woodsy. And LLB. Guess what we want to talk to you about? We want to talk to you about perfect vision. Now is the time. There is no time to wait. I mean, you got to get in there. I would like to talk about better than perfect vision. Yeah, better than perfect. Because perfect would be 2020. Yeah, they call it J. Yes. J-Vision. We are rocking better than J-Vision. That's right. At 2015 apiece, bam. We both went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. We met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff, and it's a very simple process.
If you're worried about the procedure itself, somebody fixing your eyes, you guys, I'm kind of a wuss, and I've admitted it. A giant wuss. A giant wuss. Just a giant wuss. 15 minutes. Now, granted, I did squeeze a teddy bear the entire procedure. It was a Minnie Mouse doll. Minnie Mouse. There's nothing wrong with that. Because you know what? The next day I woke up, I had perfect vision. Yeah. And I shopped around. I went to three different centers. Weird. Clearview was my third doctor that I went to. Third consultation that I went to. And I said, you know what? This is it. She's the one. I trusted her immediately. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff. 858-452-3937. Call today. Make a free consultation. Let them know that LOB and Wood sent you. If a meticulous researcher like LOB decided on something, you know it's good. You know it's legit. It's Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center affordability, technology, and experience.
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Hidden inside a heart-shaped box of Seattle chocolates, it's a sweet gift. And at just $99, an affordable extravagance. The Diamond Heart Pendant Necklace from Ben Bridge Jeweler. Celebrating a century as your personal jeweler. Ben Bridge. Fashion Valley in all major malls. Enter the Ben Bridge $100,000 Wedding of the Century Sweepstakes. You could win $100,000 in jewelry, cash, and honeymoon prizes. Visit Ben Bridge Jeweler on Facebook and enter today. Today, my journey to help save people money on car insurance brings me to the sunny state of California, which has over 840 miles of sandy beaches. So I've been brushing up on my surfing lingo in preparation. Wasabi, surfer bras, and salty sisters? If you're jonesing to save sick money on car insurance, switching to GEICO could be hyper-fierce na-na. It's later, dudes. I think I've got it.
To get a free rate quote, go to Geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local Geico office. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. My wireless internet bill was really adding up. So to save some money, I just use my neighbor's unpassword-protected Wi-Fi for free. It's unpassword-protected because the signal doesn't go outside of the house. Now get off my couch. Not to mention, I recharge my laptop for free. Mm-hmm. Not free. And while I wait for all my downloads, they really need more bandwidth. I just grab a soda. Not much of a diet fan, but beggars can't be choosers. Not begging, you're just choosing. Neighbors are great. To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. Monster Energy Supercross. Retreat Toyota, the official vehicle of Supercross. Don't miss your chance to meet the riders and get their autographs. Stop by any Smart & Final location and pick up your can of Monster Energy to recycle at the pit entrance for your free admission to the pit party. Smart & Final, the smaller, faster warehouse. Get tickets for the box office. Ticketmaster. Participating Yamaha dealers. Tickets subject to convenience and handling charges. All seats $5 more day of show. This Saturday, walk on studio. Man or shine. Lisa, I can't believe how much we have in common. And we just met. I know. We like the same music, the same movies. We even finish each other's sentences. Ready, Lisa? Oh, Ethan, meet Roberto, my boyfriend. Hola.
Love isn't always easy, unless you're talking about the Honda Easy to Love sale. Right now through February 14th, all nine Honda dealers of San Diego County have great deals and lease offers on just about every Honda in stock. Visit your Honda dealers of San Diego County today. Call me. The Vons Pharmacy is putting out the welcome mat, and it stretches from one end of the Vons parking lot all the way to the other. That's what we do. And if you're an Express Scripts plan member from Walgreens who's looking for a new home, we welcome Express Scripts. Plus, you'll get a $25 reward coupon when you transfer your prescriptions to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll do all the work to make transferring easy. How's that for a warm welcome? The Vons Pharmacy is your one stop for wellness. We have everything from immunizations to prescriptions all right here. Plus, you'll get the experience and friendly professional service we're known for. That's like getting a welcome mat and a giant red carpet. Make the switch to the Vons Pharmacy.
We'll make you feel right at home. Bonds. Ingredients for life. Medicare, Medicaid, and other government programs excluded. Other restrictions and exclusions apply. See pharmacy for details. Offer expires March 31st, 2012. Coupon good towards a future shopping trip of $50 or more. Experience the all-new redesigned BMW 3 Series with no-cost maintenance at your San Diego County BMW Centers today. Visit SanDiegoCountyBMW.com to find the BMW Center near you. This report is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Get new tires at Firestone Complete Auto Care's February event by 3 Firestone Affinity Touring Tires for your car. Get the fourth one free. See your store for details. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the Firestone Complete Auto Care right near you. Freeway's starting to get a little busy. As you travel into La Mesa, you're going to find a delay on the 8 westbound Center Street. That's dropped down to about 26 miles an hour. An accident on the 805 northbound right before Plaza Boulevard. No injuries there, but there is a backup behind it. And then swinging over to the 5 southbound before SeaWorld Drive, another incident.
This report, it's brought to you also by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners are neighborhood Toyota dealers, the right place to maintain your car because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory-trained technicians. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surfer Report. This is Bird, Bird Sirshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surfer Report for a Thursday morning. Don't forget, coming up this Saturday, San Diego premiere of the new documentary and award-winning film, Splinters, showing at the shed. Doors open at 6.30. Show shows promptly at 8, so tickets still available. Get them before they sell out. Excellent movie to be seen. A must-see. Surf-wise today, pretty bombing out there. West-north-west, west-south-west combination. Swells keeping it up. Maybe not quite as large as it was last night. That being said, though, chest-to-head-eye waves, overhead waves just about everywhere. Standout spots. up to two to three maybe four feet overhead possible pluses on top of that dealing with some higher tides this morning not as much of a factor this much swell in the water pretty much overrides a lot of that higher tide action uh low tides too be kind of a drain out late in the day though reef breaks are looking probably to be your better bed as they're in more control
Still a lot of styes out there. Beach breaks, a lot of them are walled up. A couple pick-and-choose corners, but you'll pay some dues paddling out to them. So know before you go, one of those more serious days of surf than we've had lately, and there's some bigger sets than you might expect. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com, and this Saturday, the place to be is Bird Surfshed. We're going to screen that filming of the new surf film and award winner. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz Bergamont body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all-American man, okay? I eat Kraft American singles. That's right. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and... Break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for this jugular. On FM 94.9. House of Blues broadcast Friday, February 17th. LOB, Dancing Like a Pussycat Doll. Free to all of you. You get into the House of Blues for free, 5.30 to 9 a.m. They will be selling drinks and food.
Oh, yeah. I'm a pussycat. Wow. Sexy. So, so sexy. Wow. The Board of Supervisors this week agreed to raise fines of up to $1,000 for anybody that throws a football or a frisbee on any beach. Shut up. You are kidding. In Los Angeles County. It's not in San Diego. Monsters. Yet. Yet. Now. Here's what it says. Come on. Come on, man. Here's what it says. It prohibits any person to cast, toss, throw, kick, or roll any object other than a beach ball or volleyball upon or over any beach between Memorial Day and Labor Day. I'll tell you, this is my guess. My guess why is because...
Some people are trying to enjoy their day. They're having a picnic, and all of a sudden a sandy Frisbee comes into their sandwich. Oh, no. Now they've got sand all over their sandwich, and it's ruined. You're at a beach. Recreational hazard. What if a guy is getting out of the surf, and his surfboard hits you in the head? You're sitting there, you're enjoying your sandwich. Well, so is that. Frisbee, yeah, or football. Frisbee getting away from you is an accident. Surfing is something that's meant for the water. Yeah. Yeah, and throwing a football and throwing a frisbee is meant for the beach. Wait a minute. Exactly. Wait a minute. Footballs are not meant for the beach. Volleyballs are? We take them. What if somebody opens their beach umbrella and accidentally hits you? By the way, I don't agree with the ban. Why do you hate football and frisbee? However, there is beach volleyball. There is not beach football. Sure there is. Didn't you see Point Break? Yeah. Did you or did you not see Point Break? Well, first of all, no. Okay, well, that's too bad. Come on. There's nothing like it. Second of all, Amber from San Diego agrees with the band. Are you there, Amber? I'm here. You agree with the band and think that they should do it in San Diego? I absolutely do. Why? Because I was at the beach and I was with two of my girlfriends and we were just laying out there trying to get some sun and I had my eyes closed. I was just relaxing and all of a sudden...
A football hits me right in the eye. Oh. I had a black eye for a week. It's not funny. It is funny. That's not funny. No, it's not. It ain't funny. Come on. That's funny. She got a black eye. You put a little stake on it, you're fine. What is it, Marsha Brady and oh my nose? That's funny. It's not. People should be able to go to the beach and close their eyes and not get hit in the face. But that's one bad apple. One bad apple. Spoils a bunch. The guy with a bad aim. Now, do you consider that at all, Amber, that it was an accident and that you shouldn't punish everyone because one person had an accident? You know, I do like I know it was probably an accident, but I I'm a son worshiper. I go to the beach as often as I can. And I can't tell you how many times that I didn't get hit. But you have those two guys that are. Throwing the ball back and forth right over you, and they just don't care if you complain. And I've had more incidents than I've not. So I would love to not have to worry about it. You guys know my take. I've said this a million times. You can feel however you want to feel. Just don't wipe it all over my face. Hey, listen, you want to throw a football? That's great. Bottom line is there's some chick. She's laying out. She's got all her oil all over. Some dude is sprinkling sand.
You know, muddy sand all over her. She just doesn't want that. I think it's a fair and reasonable expectation. That's like not being in the ocean. Oh, you're splashing me when you kick. Right. I believe it is a fair and reasonable expectation to not be covered in sand from a football or frisbee while you're laying on the beach. If you're at the beach, you're going to be covered in sand. Right. You're at a beach, man. How many times have you been hit by a football, Mike, at the beach? I have not. How about you, Woods? Never. At Lord? I've been hit by a football and a frisbee. Yeah, and let's say she hadn't. What does that prove? Well, it just means that it doesn't happen. Not very often it happens. Oh, you just said you can feel whatever way you want, just don't shove it down my throat. Well, I feel that I want to go throw the frisbee or the football at the beach. Don't pass a law saying I can't. If I can go, all right. By that law. Talk to Amber. Tell Amber. Amber, by that law, by the law that's in place now, it says I can have a volleyball or a beach ball. So does that mean I can throw the volleyball like I would a football? And that's okay. Well, okay, but the thing is, is with the volleyball, there's designated areas. And they're usually off, you know, a little bit to the side. Sure, they're staying volleyball courts.
Yeah, there's not clowns drinking Bud Lights throwing a Frisbee. Why do they got to be drinking Bud Lights? I didn't drink Bud Lights when I was throwing the football with my buddies. That's true, Michelob Lights. But still, I get nervous sometimes when people are there, but I just consider that part of the, like I said, recreational. It's part of the deal. And there's people playing horseshoes, there's people playing volleyball, or I'm sorry, bocce ball. Amber, why do you not consider it just part of the territory? Like you were mentioning earlier, football is not a beach sport. I mean, you want to go play the football, go to the park, go to a stadium, go to the beach. On Super Bowl Sunday in Indianapolis, they had an indoor sand football game. So that makes it okay. Yes. Asked an answer. All right, asked an answer. Oh, but what if I want to swim and play football or swim and throw the Frisbee? All-American. Yeah, I take, when I went last summer with some buddies that visited, we took our surfboards, we went surfing, then we threw the football around. It's better than just sitting there. It's better to be active. We played the whole point break thing where I threw it in the water, they dove for it into the wave. It's the best. Guess what, bro? Amber got hit in the eye with it. Well, that sucks. I went to a baseball game and got hit with a foul ball.
I'm not banning baseball. Right. Guess what they do at baseball games? What? They play baseball. Great. So there's a baseball on the baseball game. But they do everything at the beach. But you do everything at the beach. We used to. It isn't called the football beach. I'm going to throw out the obesity card. What do you mean? People are too obese. I shouldn't just be sitting there on the beach. How are they ruining your day? Because they're disgusting. No, but they're ruining. I'm paying more in taxpayer money to support their obesity. On the beach? In everything. Oh, you mean in everything. Yes. If you're going to go to the beach, you should have to be doing something. Yeah. That's the new law. I love it. It's a completely different deal, but I see where you're going with it. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying that to be ridiculous because I think it's just as ridiculous to say, you shouldn't be able to throw a football because I might get hit. Amber, do you believe that fat people have no right to live? I do. No, I definitely do not agree with that. You do not agree with that statement. I got hit in the tooth with a Frisbee at the park. Of course you did. At the park. Yes, but you also threw up yesterday in a park from eating a bug. That's true. That is fair enough. Thank you, Amber, for the call. M1 Sherry from San Diego. Go ahead. Hi, Mikey. Hi. I'm actually really against this ban. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.
One of the things that I like to do with my friends the most on the weekends is go out to OB and throw the Frisbee around. And if I wasn't allowed to do that, then, I mean, it's just ridiculous to think that, you know, we can stand fun for everybody just so some people may not accidentally get hurt. Yeah. I mean. I mean, what are we going to do, ban seagulls because they poop on them? That's right. You can't ban a seagull because a seagull flies around. You can't control it. People want to ban seals at the pool, the seal beach or whatever. I got hit with a frisbee. My arm hurts. Oh, really? It doesn't hurt to get hit in the eye with a leather football. It does. You should be able to sue that individual. My arm hurts. Don't ruin it for everybody. I'm just kidding about that. M1 Johnny from San Diego. Go ahead, Johnny.
Hey, I think all you guys should just stand in front of each other and throw the Frisbee at each other with their arms down and whack each other in the head. Yeah, see how it feels. It don't feel too good, does it? Wait a minute, wait a minute, though. You're not at the beach with your arms tied behind you. Yeah, you're not an armless at the beach. It's even worse, L.O.B. You're sitting there with your eyes closed. That's one clown. How often does that happen? You're a clown because you're laying out with your eyes closed? Yes. I'm saying one clown that threw it at you that didn't say heads up or just has really bad aim or the wind took it. But most people I go on the beach anyways, they don't even know what they're doing when they're throwing a frisbee. That's true. And they had a couple pops. You should walk up to the, I walk up to people and say, can you guys scoot that over a little bit? If you've almost hit us several times. I've been almost hit several times and I finally, I return it to them and I go, can you guys move over a little bit? No, wow. You almost hit my knee. She has a ballsy broad from New Jersey. Hey, you can't throw, move it. M1 Leone from Hawool. Hi. Hi. Okay, so I was. thinking since it's such a big deal that they're banding it um it most likely shows that people are being disrespectful towards other people that are laying at the beach and that really sucks i mean how can they say that just volleyball just uh throwing frisbees is only allowed at the beach when people play soccer or
Those are things that don't belong there. A piano doesn't belong on the beach. A soccer ball doesn't belong on the beach. We play soccer all the time. Soccer goes on the beach? Yes. It does? I saw two guys sitting there jamming the guitars yesterday when I was walking. Guitars don't belong to the beach. I don't want to hear your music. You know what? I would say maybe there's an argument to be made for guitars not belonging on the beach if people were throwing them back and forth to each other. What if you considered it noise pollution? Yeah, what if the guy sucks? Some clown's going to be like, I can't sleep. I want to relax. That's not physically harming someone. I need my rest. We don't need any more laws. Stay out of my life. Stay off the beat. They should put it on the ballot and you people go out and vote. Yeah. What do you mean new people? New people. Okay. Okay. Well, then let's take it a step further. If we're allowed to take whatever we want to the beach, then why don't we just start taking slingshots out there, too? And, hey, we want to just do some practices. We're into slingshots. Oops. Sorry, I hit you. Those can be deadly. If you're comparing a rock. I think those are illegal. Yeah. A slingshot? I think so. Slingshots aren't illegal. Depends on what you put in them. Let's say that you want to go out there and you want to play paintball on the beach. You want to play paintball? You're defacing something, then.
You're not defacing. Yeah, you are. The paint is defacing something. Oh, paint's not going to go away. It's just a little paintball. It's toxic, too. It can go in the water. That's right. It's going to deface the beach. Who doesn't go to a beach and throw a freaking football if you have a dong between your legs? Lazy people. Okay, I got some other stuff for you, too. Thank goodness. I know. It's starting to turn into a riot around here. This is Adele on her throat. So you had to have a surgery? Yeah, I had laser surgery, yeah. And what did they actually do? Put a laser down your throat, cut off the polyp. Yeah, well, hello. Hello, mate. Are you a freaking idiot? What did you say? Are you a freaking idiot? Freaking idiot. They put it in your bum. What do you think? Right, it isn't called a bum laser surgery. What do you think happened? I had a quarter pounder lodged in my throat. No, you didn't. I had a chicken nugget lodged right in my throat. It was a pork shank. That's what it was. Del, that's mean. It was a side of mutton. Leave me alone. I had a whole sheep in my neck. Laser your hemorrhage back together. To help her heal, she was also ordered not to speak a word for much of November and December. Thank you.
A couple of times I ordered a number two with ranch on the side. That's just a joke. It's a joke. It's got to be hard. Yeah, it was really hard. I sense you like to talk. Yeah, I love talking. So how do you communicate? Who doesn't? Love talking. Hello. I mean, I'm a human being. I don't communicate with smoke signals. No, Anderson, I love to just sit in silence. I'm a singer. Yeah, like everyone else, I love to sit in freaking silence. Do I look like Stephen Hawking? Yeah, I just sit here and I don't say a freaking L.O.B. Oh, wow, that was pretty harsh. Thank you guys for making chicken nuggets. I know, but that was pretty harsh. It's over the top, love. A pad. I had a notepad. Is it a handicap? It's not one. The guy's not, Adele's not sitting. He doesn't have a voice box or something. Oh, my God. But the great thing is, I love to swear. Most of you can't swear, but I found this one app where you can swear. So I'm still really getting my point across. That has really been the hardest part of it. It's having to give it to birds for every time. Just flipping a bird. Yeah, just giving a bird every time I want to say it. I can't say it because I can't speak. So I have to, yeah, I have to point to my bum and say, you know what?
This is where you can put it. I sometimes grab my crotch. Yeah. Grab my crotch. I've actually written the F word onto a piece of sandwich board. And I just outed it from time to time. I've made a sandwich out of the word F. It is delicious. I've got her now. That's Adele on her throat surgery. Gosh, darn. Poor girl. She talks like that, but that chick. The best. Gosh. The best. Darn can she sing. Amy Winehouse talks like that, too. Doesn't necessarily mean they're not songbirds. Let me tell you. Songbirds. She is a freaking songbird. She's a freaking unicorn. Oh, yeah. She is a unicorn. If every woman could sing like that, that's all they'd do. Yeah. That's all they would do all day long. It's got to be very... It's scary for her after that surgery to try to sing again. It's like if a guy has a knee surgery and that first couple of jogs, you're like, oh, boy. She knows that what exists in her throat is something extraordinarily different than what exists in everybody else's throat. And she's about to take lasers to it. And before they do it, I know that the doctors have got to say, by the way, there is a slight chance that when this is done.
You won't be able to sing anymore. It don't get much better than that album, 21. No doubt. That album is a great album. Front to back. And I think it'll go down as being one of those iconic albums years from now. Oh, so good. But when she talks, she talks like this. What do you think I'm going to talk like? Hello, it's freaking called laser throat surgery. They don't put it in your bum, you dumb head. You're Anderson Cooper, Anderson stupid. Do you have an In-N-Out burger laying around back there? Yeah, that's right. I mean, gosh darn it. I'm starving already. Pull your head out of your bum. That's right. She's a big girl, but she's pretty foxy. Is she? I think so. I'm in on it. Oh, I would in a heartbeat. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. I wouldn't. I hate fat people. God, I hate them. You know what I'd be fine with? I'm not kidding you. You know what I'd be fine with? If the trend went towards chubby women, no problem.
I'm not kidding you. Isolate that and just save it. Save that. If the trend went towards chubby women, I'd have no problem. Why do people freak out about it? We've got a culture that's like, you got to be super skinny. I like voluptuous. Yeah, man. Curves are back. Love curves. Curves are in there. Curves, I hope, are back. Because curves equals breasts most of the time. I still like cottage cheese. You are such a... Gosh. Just throwing it out there. Okay, let's talk serious shop here. Even our phone screener put his head down in his hands. I know, and he's a friend of Jay's. Let's talk serious shop here. Yes, I'm ready. Are you telling me that a girl that is chunky, but she's got big boobs, beautiful full lips, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful... Wait, wait, wait. I'm just describing a look here to Jay. Again, chunky girl. I mean, and I'm talking... She's got 20 extra pounds on her, okay? Hang on. She's got a low-cut top on, okay? And let's say that you can even see rolls. But hang with me here. Hang with me here. Voluptuous breasts, big full lips, beautiful skin, big blue eyes, gorgeous hair, smells great. Are you telling me?
That doesn't attract you at all, Jay? It depends. If it's all kind of put together in a nice package that is toned. No toning. I don't like the loosey-goosey that just sits around and watches TV all day long. I want a little firmness. I don't mind if you're 20 pounds. 20 pounds is nothing. All I'm saying is... If that girl's got the boobs and she's got the beautiful lips and the skin and the eyes and the whole thing. I'll get you. Come on. Just got to be a little bit of work in there. I'll get you real good. I'll tell you what. I'll take that girl out. I'll try to pork chop around her neck and get dogs to play with her. In my opinion. Mike and Wood. Hideous, man. Well, Mike and Wood, you guys are what I call a trash dude. Yeah, I mean, it's disgusting. Disgusting. Girls don't have to be freaking size whatever. Just a little effort. That girl from Mad Men, Christina Hendricks, is the sexiest girl I have ever laid eyes on. And she's not thin. She's not thin. And I... And she's great. She's...
When we come back, we're going to be reading a text to you that we got about a guy with one testicle. Don't go away. I always have to look nice. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Part of the show, 570-1949. Or shoot them at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Good news for Express Scripts plan members. The Vons Pharmacy accepts Express Scripts and makes transferring prescriptions easy because they do all the work. Vons, ingredients for life. Pro Flowers. It's Valentine's Day, guys. It's coming. The 14th. Today's the 9th. You got exactly three days left. You got to get it done. And the reason? I thought this was the greatest selling point there is. Your ladies and their girlfriends saying, what'd he get you? That should get you. Now, the fact that the value of 100 blooms for $19.99.
That sells it right there. 100 Blooms of Love from Pro Flowers, $19.99. A free glass vase thrown in, 50% off. You can upgrade to 100 Blooms of Love with chocolates and a teddy bear and a spa kit for $39.98. So again, let's get this straight. $39.98, you get 100 flowers with a glass vase. and chocolates, and a teddy bear, and a spa kit for $39.98, and you look like a badass. You look like a hero. And all you have to do is call Pro Flowers, or go online, proflowers.com. Click on the little microphone in the upper right-hand corner and type in Mikey Show, M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W. So my girlfriend tells me she's fallen out of love with her smartphone. So I pop down to Verizon and say to the sales guy, my Valentine wants a phone that helps set her apart. And he says, check out the new 4G LTE Droid Razor by Motorola, now in black, white, and purple, the perfect color for Valentine's Day. So I say, Droid Razor in purple, really? But in my head, I'm thinking, sweet.
Then I say, okay, she'll love the purple. Now make me love the price. And he says, no problem. Because right now, you can choose any color Droid Razor 16 gigabyte for only $199.99. And now I'm going, whoa. More colors, same edge. Droid Razor. Connect with your Valentine on America's fastest 4G network. Visit any Verizon store, vzw.com slash valentine, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Requires new two-year activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash Best Network. 10 News in the Morning wants to send you to Disneyland Resort. With more inspiration, more galaxies to explore, and memories to last a lifetime. Watch 10 News at 6 a.m. for the word of the day. Then enter at 10news.com to win Disneyland Resort tickets. Only one of the doctors. Amazing medical moments. All caught on tape. A reality show freak accident. Giving birth on the way to the hospital. This is not for the faint of heart. Outrageous bloopers and more. Plus, teenage girls develop uncontrollable tics. It's obviously shocking. The mystery illness that's making headlines. Parents are terrified and medical experts are happy. All new under Doctors. Today at 4 on ABC 10.
10 News reporter Joe Little's trip to Pakistan is revealing remarkable stories as he walks the everyday streets. He uncovers the surprising similarities to life in San Diego and shares the eye-opening views Pakistani students have about the U.S. Today on 10 News at 5. San Diego's number one volume Subaru dealer just got even better. Kearney Mesa Subaru has opened a brand new showroom in the heart of San Diego. We're celebrating by inviting you to our grand opening event. In honor of our new showroom, the factory has sent us a special shipment of top-selling Subarus. This means we're making deals so you can save big. Lease a new 2012 Subaru Impreza 2.0i CVT for just $99 per month plus tax. It's an automatic with a jack for your iPod and auto-dim mirror with Homelink. All for just $99 per month. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru brand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. Get ready to feel the love at T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale.
Because for one day only, all 4G smartphones in the store are free when you switch to T-Mobile. Whoa, did you say all 4G smartphones? Yep, every phone is free. What about those 4G super phones, like the Samsung Galaxy S2? Yep, like I said, every phone is free. So you can get a free Galaxy S2 and watch movies or stream live TV right on your phone, thanks to T-Mobile's lightning-fast 4G network. Wait, how about that brand-new Nokia Lumia 710 and the HTC Amaze 4G? Free and free. Oh, yeah? What about tablets? Oh, yeah, some of... Our best 4G tablets are free, too. Okay, I think I love you. This Saturday is T-Mobile's Valentine's Day sale. All 4G smartphones are free when you switch to America's largest 4G network. Even our latest 4G Windows phone, Android, and BlackBerry smartphones. Hurry in this Saturday, February 11th, and share the love. New two-year contract on qualifying classic plan required. Mail and rebate card may apply while supplies last. 4G HSPA Plus network not available everywhere. See participating stores for details. The Vons Pharmacy is putting out the welcome mat, and it stretches from one end of the Vons parking lot all the way to the other. That's what we do. And if you're an Express Scripts plan member from Walgreens who's looking for a new home, we welcome Express Scripts. Plus, you'll get a $25 reward coupon when you transfer your prescriptions to the Vons Pharmacy. We'll do all the work to make transferring easy. How's that for a warm welcome? The Vons Pharmacy is your one stop for wellness.
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Your call. Limited time offer. Requires new activation. See store for plan, data usage, and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Heading on the 805 northbound right before Plaza Boulevard, an accident there. Big backup behind it, too. Looks like this backup starts at Sweetwater Road, goes all the way down to about Bonita Road, about 17 miles an hour in most spots there. Chula Vista, we've got a car stalled here on the 5 northbound before E Street and a nice little backup behind that one. From 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard to E Street, speeds between 9 and 20 miles an hour. La Mesa's tough. You've got to... delays on the 8 westbound from Fletcher Parkway to about 7 Drive, Fiorte Drive, 26 miles an hour, 17 miles an hour, drops down to about the 125 southbound. This report, it's brought to you by Del Taco. It's Thursday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Come in now, three chicken soft tacos for just $2.09. That's three chicken soft tacos for $2.09 every Thursday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9.
Now back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. With Mikey. Welcome here. I told Rebecca I loved her for the first time through text message. Woods. Woods. Are you kidding? Woods. It was very heady. I don't like that. I like gritty drama. Lauren. Just give me your opinion and I'll be on my way. And Jay. Keep it together. Why you. On FM 94.9. What's he? Ricky Williams. What do you know? He is retiring. Ricky Williams played for the Baltimore Ravens. Played for the New Orleans Saints, the Miami Dolphins. Was a really good NFL running back. Had some weird mental stuff going early in his career. He had a lot of pressure on it from the get-go. Mike Ditka essentially traded his entire draft for the rights to draft Ricky Williams. He had the city of New Orleans.
Basically on his back, but he's retiring, and he's been a pretty good player in the NFL, so we wish him well. Also, I thought this was a pretty interesting story. An online pawn shop has had some fun at the expense of New England Patriots receiver Wes Welker. People from, I won't say the website, but they dumped hundreds of Butterfinger candy bars in a pile in Copley Square in Boston, and it said thank you, Wes Welker. Ay, chihuahua. Rubbing it in. Rubbing it in real good. She's got a text from M1Steve, which, by the way, I want to say, hats off to M1Steve, because he didn't have to say it was M1Steve. Yeah. But M1Steve said, get naked for the first time, and I only have one ball. Excuse me. Should I tell her beforehand? I tried to keep it in. OB? Yes. OB. One ball. There's nothing wrong with that. Isn't there?
Well, I mean, I guess physiologically, maybe it's not what the norm is, but girls don't care about those. Girls don't care if you don't. Get in the way. You don't? Girls don't care? We care if you care about them. Question, question, question. Yeah. Let's just, that's as far as we need to go with that, Woods. Well, I mean. Everybody shut up for a second. Question, LLB. Yeah. So you don't care if there were one. Let me just interview you. Okay, all right, all right. I'm just going to get a drink of water. Because she took a breath, and I was like, I have no idea what's going to come out of her mouth. All right, all right, all right. Okay. I'm going to censor myself. Serious time. Serious time. Legitimate question. I'm going to censor myself. So, if there's one, you don't have a big issue. No, and I'm not going to neglect it either. I didn't ask you that, Lauren O'Brien. And I bet Woods just collapsed onto the beanbag laughing. No pun intended. Okay, can I ask you questions and you answer them without any of your stand-up comic abilities coming through? I'll be honest, though. Should I not be honest? No, I want you to be honest. Alright, so if a guy had one, not a big deal to you. Not a big deal. What if he had none? Also not that big of a deal. Really?
Interesting. Never seen it. Interesting. Never dealt with it. But not a big deal. It probably would make everything else look bigger. Yeah. Didn't ask for that, but yeah. Maybe you're right. I think that that's probably a bigger deal to us fellas than it is to the ladies. Literally. Well, wait a second. What? Does that mean they can't have kids if they have none? Right. Yeah. Well, then that might be an issue. What if they can? Then all the way in. Yeah. I don't think it matters. I wouldn't care. I mean, I got two, but if I had one, I wouldn't care. I definitely. You would, Woods? Yeah, one of my best friends got his out. He said it's terrible. Why? Because he feels self-conscious. Yes, he feels self-conscious. He shouldn't. Your balance is all... Really? When you fall, you stand up and you're like... You're such a D. When you look at it, it doesn't look balanced. Don't get all testy with us, Woods. Relax. There was a guy in school that only had one. Obi, we called him. His name is Cornelius Haynes. Obi. Oh, is that the guy? That's Cornelius. Is that the guy that beat you up? He's the guy that had the... Yeah. Yeah, he was packing. He had a complex. He had one bad eye and only one ball. And that guy was... Do you know why he only had one ball? Oh, because he got his... He got handed to him one time. And he lost it? Yeah, he lost it. So we all called him... Oh, dude. One Obi. Obi!
My goodness, can you imagine? That was why he got so tough. Oh, he was tough. With a name like Cornelius Haynes, you have to be. Don't mess with Cornelius Haynes. He'll kill you. He'll kill you, dude. He'd come up in your locker room with no clothes on, and he'd put his leg up like that. Hey, man. Would you give me your lunch money? Nude? Yeah, dude. You're like, oh my gosh. And he would say, give me your lunch money? Oh, dude, I'd give the lunch money. I would beat up another kid to give him that kid's lunch money. Yes, so I'd be on his side. Yeah, I'd be like, can I rob someone for you? Here, take Petey's lunch money, too. Yeah, Petey. Give me some gum. I think that guy should throw it out there. Because it's good to know. Yeah, he should. When you get down there, he'll be likely to get a response if he's with me, which, you know, many men have been, to be like, oh boy. A response. She'd go, oh. Then you set it up for too much. Otherwise, you just discover, you're like, oh, okay. But she's like, all of a sudden, she's thinking about it. That's all she can think about. No way. I'd rather have the warning. What do they call those?
I think it's called skin tag. Yeah, skin tag. Okay. Had a skin tag on my butt. All right. Thing was as big as a testicle. Is it really? Jay. Sorry. No, you're not. Number one. Number two. I just need you to stop for a minute. I'm not sharing it. No, no. The skin tag. The skin tag. You're in the safe tree. You're in the safe tree. Come on, little bunny. Turn this mic off. Come on, little bunny. A skin tag the size of your fist. Shut it, Jay. I want to, but I don't feel safe right now. Jay, do you want to hear it or not? A skin tag. All right, stop repeating it. I had a skin tag and it was that big. Okay. I was mortified at this thing. I mean, it was the bane of my existence. It was the most embarrassing thing about me. No doubt. So I had surgery one time and I asked the surgeon, can you remove that? And he was irritated with me because he was a mean, mean doctor who is no longer with us. His name was Dr. Meyerowitz. And he said, do you don't ask me about this? You ask someone else. I don't do that. And that's not the surgery I'm doing. And you shouldn't ask me about it. It's inappropriate. And I was really scared. So I had this. He gave me the surgery and everything. And a few years later, I had to have another surgery.
I was so embarrassed of this thing that I thought, I'm going to ask this guy, too. And this guy was much nicer. And he said, he goes, let me take a look at it. And he goes, oh, yeah, I could take that off for you. Question. Wait, I'm not done. The story goes somewhere. He said, yeah, no problem. I can take that off for you. And he did. And it healed. And it's gone. The moral of the story was, I never said anything to anybody. If they were going to see my behind, I never would. I wouldn't give the preemptive. Hey, by the way, there's a testicle on my butt. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I could not do that. That's a little different, though. Oh, first time you said that. I was hoping he was going to stay quiet just a little bit. Hey, it's that good. You got to go. I have a question for you. A legitimate question.
Is this a legitimate question? No, this really is a legitimate question. Why the hell did you wait so long between doctors? Why didn't you just go to a dermatologist? That's what she does. Or he. Freeze it off. Because I was embarrassed. You were embarrassed. Okay. Part two. During this time in your life when you had second butt. Yeah. Not second butt. Second butt. Second ball. Second butt. Third ball. Third ball. Third ball. When you had third ball on your butt. Did a girl ever happen to graze her hand over it? Jay. Jay? That's a legitimate question. Jay, it's difficult to answer these questions because, A, we're broadcasting live on the radio. And I know that there are people that are listening, and it's very difficult to be this vulnerable. I'm sweating for you. Second, the question that Woods has asked is one of the most intimately, oh my gosh. Jay! Stop, I want the answer. It's one of the most intimate questions that he could ask. Yes. I'm legitimately, it's a legitimate question. And third, it is, I would have to go to a great deal of transparency in order to be able to answer the question. And so I beg you to just. I'm not making eye contact. Sit on your hands. Please. I just ask you to just leave me alone so I can answer this question. Answer quickly.
The answer to the question is yes. I remember an occasion, and I remember being very embarrassed and self-conscious. I bet. And, you know, she didn't say anything about it. I'm lightheaded. I'm lightheaded. L.O.B.'s face. I'm lightheaded. She turned away from me. She's not looking at me. L.O.B.'s turned away from me. Horrific. The worst part of that was that the absolute worst part of it was there was no controlling it. That's the worst part. It was bubbling in and she was like, I won't laugh in his face. I won't laugh in his face. I won't. But it got to a point where physiologically she couldn't control.
Oh, really, Woods? Oh, really, Woods? Humans despise me. You're now going to mimic her rubbing her hand and jumping back when she felt it. Recoiling. Recoiling in disgust when she... It's so hot in here. It's like a handle. You can just grab hold of it. I might have just pulled my back muscle. Oh, God. All right. I'm composed now. I need to die. I can't believe that in a moment of me being so vulnerable about something that was so embarrassing that you would take the opportunity, and you would, to mimic the girls putting her hand and recoiling back.
As if I'm the elephant man. A monster. You're Zelda from Pet Sematary. Oh, gosh. I'm sorry. I'm John Merrick. And I'm like, did you feel something? Did you feel something on me? I'm sorry. I felt something. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. My stomach. I love you. My stomach. We love you so much, buddy. That was good. You had your skin tag. You had that skin tag. I really tried to hold that in. She bubbled over. Oh, yeah. Like when you have a pot of pasta. No, it was Mount St. Helens. Oh, gosh. It was a combination of the look on your face as you revealed and me visualizing the girl. Oh, man, that was good. Boy, it was. Now, I think... Sometimes I love this job. Sometimes... Some days you're the dog. Some days you're the hydrant. You're the freaking hydrant. Oh, for sure. Now, here's the deal. I think... That's awful, too. When she does that, when L.O.B. does the, okay, I'm going to pacify you now.
She gives me a look that says, I wouldn't touch you. No, I didn't. Listen, 10 foot. The pole would have to be doused in bleach. I'd have to be chloroform. You'd have to roofie me. Yep, it could be arranged. Do you realize that he said that unscripted just boom, right out of his mouth? I mentioned roofies and he instantly... I know how to get them. In my back pocket. Do you want some roofies? That's like when I have a girl over and I say, do you want some water? I mean roofies. Yeah, you want a sandwich? By sandwich, you mean roofies. I mean chloroform. That's right. Chlorophyll. Good Lord. Now, that's something, though. What I was going to say is you could grow to love it. No pun intended. Tag your head. Really? You name it? You name it. No, but you'd be like, oh. You suck and, like, flip it around. Can you hear Adam's mouth? Through the wall. Through the soundproof wall. I'm going to vomit, Lauren. Just being vulnerable. If you love the person, but on a first... But if you didn't love him, Mike, if you didn't love him... On a first encounter, you might be like, hey! Hey, ho! What is going on? If you didn't love him, Mike... Sit and gum? Did you sit?
In gum. Stop it, Woods. Jump. Woods keeps imitating the girl. He keeps imitating the girl. Ew, what was that laughing? They were French kissing. Oh, wow. She's putting her hand on his butt of his jeans. Well, I'm happy to tell you that I had cosmetic surgery. Good. Why, I no longer have. A third testicle. Now, sometimes I do advocate cosmetic surgery. That's one of the times. I have that gnarly one on my back. I got it cut off. You could see it sticking out of my shirt. Imagine if that were on your butt and the size of a testicle. No. You didn't sit on it? Let me tell you. I considered. There was an actual consideration at one point. Suicide. What? I'm just kidding. You are mean. You are such a monster. World of the story, skin tag worse than one ball. Oh, yeah. Way worse. Any day. M1 Steve, you're fine. Yeah, you're fine. But I would tell her. I would make a joke out of it. I'd do a reveal. Before she gets down there. M1 Chris from Poway. Yeah. Go ahead.
We actually dated a guy that only had one for like five years and it was no big deal. No big deal. No big deal, I say. She's like, hey, it beats Mikey and that hideous, gross John Merrick mask, sort of weird elephantitis of the butt thing that he had. Butt cheek. Exactly, exactly. No, thank you. Thank you so much. We all agree. Come and hang with the Mikey Show a week from tomorrow at the House of Blues. Get there early because we're broadcasting live. From 5.30 to 9 in L.O.B.'s dancing on stage. It's going to be great. She's got 10 other girls that she's going to be dancing with. It's going to be awesome. Listen to this. Women say compliments are way bigger turn-ons than seeing you naked. Doesn't surprise me. Isn't that obvious? Yeah. Have you seen this? That's a deal with the naked thing. It's a deal for guys. Yeah. Not girls.
But it says, no matter how magically you believe your junk is, mere sight of it will not get your wife in the mood. Nope. No. A new survey of married women found that almost all of them say sharing your loving feelings or giving compliments are much, much bigger turn-ons than you getting naked in front of her. Yeah. Of course. Did Captain Obvious write that? Yes. It's cute, though. It is cute. Naked is cute for guys. 80% of married women say that they're in the mood to have sex at least once in the past month. What? Oh, boy. That sucks. There we go. That's why I'm not married. He's eyes closed, shaking his head. Yeah, of course, because, oh, my gosh. Once? Once a month? Something's wrong. 22% have sexted their husbands. 9% have had phone sex with them. With their husband. When they were married? No, yeah. They're married. 22% of married women sex their husband. I thought maybe when they were dating. 9% of married women have phone sex with their husband. Wow. 6% have had a threesome. I do not suggest that. That's a bad idea. Not if you're married. Not if you're married. Yes, it is a bad idea if you're married. That's what I'm saying. Yes. Don't do it. Well, I don't suggest doing it at all. I do.
33% say they'd rather have sex with their husband than watch a movie, go to the spa, check Facebook, or talk to friends. No way. Absolutely. That's only 33%. Doesn't take long. I don't think that's too high. That'd do too. You give your wife the option of a spa day or... Sex. Sex with you or me? Yeah, forget it. You know, we have heard before that women like sex as much as guys. That's just not true. It's not true. It's just not true. Women just, they don't like it like men do. When we're in the act, we're bought in. Yeah. But like the idea of like... Start your engine. Once you're having sex, it's great, but... And see, we're the opposite. Got to prime the pump. Yeah. We're the opposite. We can always have sex. Well, but we're like, once we're in the act, we're like, now I'm kind of tired. Yeah. I'm taking it to the house. Maybe the deal is, is that we just have this desire to conquer. Yes, to close. We love to close business. Procreate. It's in us. It's biological. How about that works? Works along the same line. It's Valentine's Day. Guys like spontaneous sex. It's not exclusive to men. Women like it too. It's just that for most guys, spontaneous sex is the thing that they want most for Valentine's Day. Thanks, Jay.
What was that? Was that me? Boys and you? I got everything turned off. Number two. I'm off. Guys would rather let you buy the lingerie. Yes. Oh, yeah. I don't even need it. They don't want to get you the lingerie. Guys don't want to buy it. They probably feel like creeps in the store. Of course. Picking something out. And plus, they don't want to get the wrong size. They don't want to get something that's too slutty and then you don't want to wear it and that kind of deal. There's a big fight about it. Yeah. Just put a t-shirt on. Oh. Don't come. Leave nothing. That's right. Ricky Rudd t-shirt. It's a little too short. I had this old, what it was, is a Frank's Red Hot shirt that I got here from the station. Kim puts that son of a bitch on it. I'll tell you what. She puts on that Tabasco t-shirt. Put on my undershirt with the yellow pit stains. Turn me on. I want to smell me when I'm making love to you. Yeah. The essence of me all over you when I'm making love. Makes me horny. Nothing makes me hornier than me. Also, guys want to be assertive in the bedroom. Do you have a choice?
Yes. Jay, shh. Please, shh. Yeah, you could be submissive. He's so super Jay. God, I've never been submissive in my life. And, of course, I'm assertive in the bedroom. You should be submissive sometimes. Oh, every once in a while, yeah. You know what? Listen, I'm damn near perfect in the bedroom. Well, minus the damn near. He just grossed Adam out. I'm sorry. I'm perfect in the bedroom. He got me, too. You've talked for 30 seconds. I didn't hear a word. All I kept thinking about was Jay being submissive in the bedroom, which makes my skin crawl. I'll take a back seat. It makes my grundle swell. That is... I'll take a back seat once. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. And now that I know that he said that, that sometimes he's submissive in the bedroom... Oh, God, Mike! Now that I know... Shh, quiet. Quiet, I'm trying to work. I'm trying to work. I'm trying to work. Now that I know that he is at times submissive in the bedroom. Oh, he's coming in here. No, no. No, it's more like this. More like this. That's what I did. It's right here. It's right here. It's right here. Yep. Come on, girl. Just tie me down. Tie me down. Just get up on it.
Hey, where's the fuzzy handcuffs? Giddy up. Hey, girl. You hungry? Hey, hide that key in the safe spot you hit last time. You know what I mean? What's our safe word tonight? I had scotch to hurt me. Umbrella. You can't like turkey dog tonight. Slap me. You cook it. As soon as I say Sheriff Wyatt, stop. Sheriff Wyatt! Sheriff Wyatt! Now keep going. God, I'm disgusted. He is a disgusting, hideous German, Swedish. He's part German, part Japanese, part Swedish porn. Yes. He's anime. He's anime porn. Germans are like, that is very disgusting. He's so disgusting. What's the word? The American word for this depraved. Depraved. That is the American word. Yeah. Listen. Dominating J is a hideous thought, but a submissive J? That's gross. You don't even know. That. That is a thought that I never, ever want to have to deal with again. I apologize to my kids if they're listening. Yes, you should. Those poor kids. Yeah, that takes a cake.
Takes cake, takes cake. Every day you think you've heard it all. Yeah, that's true. You come back and there's so much more. Guys, sometimes I like to play Little Bo Peep. I'm so quiet and submissive. Is this crazy psycho week? Must be. What are you wearing? Do you see Captain Dork in there? Captain Dork, this is my cycling gear. I'm going to go ride my bike after work today. This is Lose Your Mind Week. Yes. It's my other shorts. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's got spandex freaking Lycra shorts. They're Lycra. Yeah, my other ones that have the built-in short shorts on them. They're dirty, so these are just Lycra. Just team postal service real good. You could have put something on over those. Oh, you don't put anything on over them. Oh, are you in training? But it's like a studio. Why are you wearing it now? Because I'm going to go right after work. I got to get out of here. Why don't you change when we're done with the show?
Well, I could change now and be done because we're going to talk for a minute and then I can get on my bike and go. Come here. I have all to say it. Do you have your camera? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like a Kindle. Yeah. Where's your sponsor? Where's your dong? He's got a pad right here. Oh, boy. Yeah, forget the sponsor. Where's his dong? Where does dong go? It all fits inside here. Does it? You're not taking a picture of me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. He's caressing his butt. That's where my skin butt tag would be. You're a dork. Hey, I'm going to go to the batting cages. I think I'll throw on my baseball pants and my jersey when I go. No, when you ride your bike, you've got to have a pad. Yeah, it hurts your butt. You might as well be wearing a Tampax pad. He couldn't wait eight minutes. Eight minutes.
Oh, no, it's handled. I don't have to change in my car. Zero shame. None. I mean, none to be found. He would, if we allowed it, he would just walk around naked in here. There's no question. It saves time. And money and water and soap. My goodness. It was good. Do you wear a t-shirt with it? No, no, just this shirt. This is a writing shirt. That's a writing shirt. Yeah, it's got little pockets to put treats in here. A little food snacky. When's the tour? I'm doing a 50-mile bike ride pretty soon, so yeah. Cool. He leaves here and goes and trains on his bicycle. Make sure you share the road, cyclist. I'm usually riding the dirt, so. Okay. Why do you have to wear those? Because it's got a pad built into the crotch, so where I sit on the bike, and plus it cuts down on wind drag and you'll get hung up on the handlebars. Oh. Yeah. Makes sense. That guy is something else. Something else. Wear a helmet and gloves as well.
Gloves? What are the gloves for? Because your palms of your hands are holding on to the handlebars, and you're beating up and down on the rocks and trail. If you want to see a picture of it, go to Facebook.com slash Microsho. You guys make things weird ever? Only a married guy could pull off that outfit. Yeah. You'd be surprised. Yeah. Only a married guy. I'm going to go swim later, so I'm going to go ahead and put my Speedo on, and I'm going to shave my arms and put my swim cap on. Well. It would be just as unusual. Yes. It's the appropriate gear. Why not wear it to the workplace? Sure. That's what I do. I want to know what happened to his dong. It's there. It gets packed in real good. These are stretchy. Is that what the deal is? Do you want to come? I'll show it to you. No, I'm good. It's right here. I can see it. Why does he look like a Ken doll with his pants on? Yeah. They're smooth. Oh, they're tight. It's very smooth. I wore a very tight Batman costume for Mikey-thon, and you could see my dong through it. On him? That wasn't... When I just looked at Jay, it was as if Lauren were wearing a pair. No offense. None taken. Three D-sized batteries. Stacked into ends. Triple-A batteries.
No, AAA battery. Watch batteries. AAA battery watch battery. It's two watch batteries with a AAA battery sticking up from the middle of it. We sure spend a lot of time talking about it. You guys must have envy. Swisher sweet. Sweet tarts. Pixie stick. Spreeze. Piece of straw. A cop's flashlight. The little one that goes in the glove compartment. The big one that he hooks on the bottom of his shotgun. On his keychain. Serts. A baseball bat. Rolos. Rolos. A quarter roll of Rolos. A Twizzler. A roll of nickels. A baby's arm. A roll of pennies. A roll of pennies. An armless baby's arm. A baby's arm, but the baby's in vitro and has only been alive for six weeks. Mikey's butt skin tag. Good one, Emo. I can't wait to post this. I'm trying as hard as I can. I'm trying. Jay, you just compared your own wiener to Mikey's butt skin tag. It was giant. Disgusting. He says giant, yet when he wears skin-tight shorts.
He looks like Lauren wearing skin-tight shorts. Except with a smaller butt. There's that tight. They pack it all in. Lauren has a bigger wiener. Easy. Come on. Just gross. All right, I'm putting this picture up right now so that people can see. But they don't, fortunately for them, they don't see anything, you know. No, we didn't either. We're in the room. Nothing perverse. Don't worry. You're not in any danger. There's no bulging. Everyone's in danger. You're not in any danger of seeing anything offensive. Unless you find a weirdoist man offensive. Then you might be offended. He's going to murder us. No, you guys have fun. You have fun. There's only one girl that cares about it, so it's Kim. Yeah, that's right. She knows exactly what's there. She said to me one time, she goes, look.
I don't care that it's like a little baby's pinky. I don't care that it's like those little Vienna sausages that come in the baby bottle. Is this what Rebecca said? As long as it plumps when you cook it, I don't care. I don't care. It's not being cooked right now. It is not plumped. It must be very cold. It plumps when you cook it, but it shrinks when it's in a bowl of ice. Yes. Or in Lycra shorts. Yeah. It plumps when you cook it unless you take a cleaver to it. And then quarter it. Oh, man. You guys are brutal. It is now on Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Go there and like our page and you can see Jay in his writing trunks. Identical Lance Armstrong. Yes. Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment. The Tour de Mission Valley. Yeah. The Tour de Mission Valley today. All right.
The lovely and talented Hillary is not here today. That's right. It is the handsome and talented Hanson. Handsome Hanson is what we call him. There you go. And he will be up next to kick off 94 Minutes of Rock. Don't go anywhere. Mikey shows up. Piano.