The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/11/11

0:46We got such a show for you today, man. I want to let you know right off the bat that the word of the day is hammer. Word of the day is hammer. So when you hear us, well, when you hear me work the word hammer into a sentence between now and 10 o'clock, you can be caller number nine and you will win a four-pack of SeaWorld Fun cards and a pair of tickets to see the Monster Energy AMA Supercross. So get ready. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. 40 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 35. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She is 30 years old. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25. And Jay is our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener today is Krauss. It's Krauss. Super Krauss. Super Krauss. Rain or shine.

1:47Dorks! The Supercross! Com Stadium. Supercross. He's just standing there on the 50-yard line. Hey, guys. The show? Cool. How you doing? The Mikey Show. I'm Supercross. Good night. So, tonight is the night. The big meet and greet is tonight. Wow. The singles meet and greet is tonight. And really what it is, is it is simply a meet and greet, meaning that anybody's allowed to come. You don't have to be single. But if you are single, it's a great way to meet people. Valentine's Day is on Monday. It's a cool way to meet people. Singles will get a wristband so that you know that you're a single.

2:45It's going to be tonight at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. It's at 930 Market Street downtown. It's happening tonight from 5 to 7. All of us will be there. And they're going to have happy hour prizes, drink specials. Come out, mingle. We're going to have prizes that we're going to be raffling off out there. But really the big thing is come out and meet us and hang with us. Meet somebody. If you're single, it's a great way to meet somebody. I'm going to put the hot dog in the bun. There you go. If you're in a relationship too, come. And also don't forget that Jay will be doing a performance. Yes. A solo for us where we will be dancing on the dance floor. He's so nervous about it. I've got a deal for you guys. No. Yes. What if I was to give you each $10? No. Now, here's the thing. You need to understand something about Jay. I was like, what is this deal? Jay is the cheapest dad and the cheapest man on earth. Frugal. Frugal. Think about it. And so to Jay, that's a thousand dollars per person. Exactly. That's accurate. That's four grand out of his pocket. Cash. Cash. Cash. Cash money. Cash money. That is rejected. And you will sing. I feel strongly.

4:08that we need to know what the song is. I feel so strongly. I think to not know is not incentive. It's the surprise. No, I don't think it is. I think if people know what he's singing tonight, they want to hear that performance. It's a Marvin Gaye song. Is it Let's Get It On? Oh, wow. Of course it is. It's Jay. You guys, that's brilliant. It's a perfect song. All you ladies? Tell him your approval and that's a good song. He's very nervous. It is. It's a love song. Jay is going to be great. That's Jay. He's our producer. Here's something that you can know about Jay. Jay is a little creepy. What? He's a little inappropriate and he... Will say things oftentimes that make me uncomfortable. Yes. He will receive emails from me. Oh, yeah. He will respond. He will? Yes. He does? Yes. He will respond to the email as follows. I completely agree. And I do. And he does. And then not more than six minutes into our program.

5:42Does he make me extraordinarily uncomfortable? I mean, he doesn't even wait for a warm-up to give me time to, like, have some coffee, maybe get some food, my blood sugar up, you know. It's like a prize fight, and he comes out, and he's throwing haymakers and uppercuts. He's got the whole arsenal. And Mikey's just like, oh, my God, oh, my God. Imagine if... There was some extraordinary circumstance where two boxers could talk to one another before the fight. And one of them says, can we just have an agreement? Just not the nuts. Right. Let's be gentlemen about this. Let's be gentlemen about this. And the guy goes, I agree. No nuts. Totally. Ding, ding. Nuts. For a shot. It's okay. Bye. I noticed that he got some new drops, and he loves to mouth the words. He does. Well, and when he gets a new drop, he can't wait. He was waiting for the intro to be over, and he was like this. Come on, dude. I have to play this. I have to play this. It's like a kid in a candy store. It's like me at McDonald's. I'm trying to behave.

6:55payback tonight when you see him on stage. That's true. Just revel in the joy that that's going to be. It'll be a slow dance and we can all slow dance and we'll slow dance to him singing Marvin Gaye. I'm going to stare at him the entire dance. Good. That's brilliant. We're going to be dancing now. Let's make some eye contact. Oh, wow. This is his biggest fear. Yes. He told us this. This is his biggest fear is singing in front of people. Yeah. So $11 wouldn't turn the tide. Jerry, you have to really sing. You can't talk the whole time. Oh, I'm really going to sing. Let's get it on. He's going to be great. His voice is going to be really deep. How many beers are you going to have before you get on stage? I'm already having my first one right now. He's having a bloody marriage. By the time he gets there. Let's get it on. Let's get it on. Let's get it on. Have you been practicing? Unbelievable amounts. Have you really? Have you sung in front of your wife? No, in front of Jasper. Jasper sat in there watching me sing the other day. He's like, this is the song you have to sing? I'm like, yes, sir. What does that mean, dad? Is it odd singing to your seven-year-old? Let's get it done. He was watching cartoons as I was doing this. What did he think? Did he think he did a good job? Grow up. He didn't say. He's A, you clown. I'm just kidding.

8:21What is wrong with you? He's a monster. I would love hidden audio of Jay messing up. Let's get him on. You'll get it tonight, I'm sure. Can we rewrite the tape? Let me start over. Let me start over. Hang on a second. I'm going to quickly just start this song again. Sorry. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. No, I'm going to get through that thing as quickly as possible. Let's get on. Let's get on. Let's get on. It says here that Let's Get It On is a four-minute song. That's the longest four minutes of my life. Jay, you're going to be so good. It's going to be great. Couldn't have picked a harder song to sing, dude. This is hard to sing. Don't tell him that. It's going to be great. I agree with L.O.B. He cannot speak those words, man. He's got to sing it. He's got to sing it. You can't just... You can't just sing it. Remember when Woods picked Jay to do the Incorporator? We all were like, oh. I know. And he did great. He did great. So I have confidence in you, Jay. You're going to be great. He's terrified, guys. Terrified. Terrified. Awesome. Open the door and allow Eskimo Blue Waters to come in. Bright and early this morning. Oh, look at that. It's like the earliest she's ever been. Look at that. Oh. Why aren't you talking? Hi. Hi. How are you?

9:57I'm good. How are you? I'm good. For those of you that don't know, Eskimo yesterday making national headlines. We sent her to... Get it on. You mean Eskimo. You went down to Mount Soledad Cross. Yeah. And I know we have Fox 5 coverage out there. You were chaining yourself. I was. I was chained to myself. You didn't chain yourself to something? No, because there was some police officers patrolling the area. Yeah. And there was big signs that said private property. Right. My dad told me that I would officially be kicked out and disowned from the family if I got arrested. Right. Because your dad's rich, lives in La Jolla. Yeah. Yeah. So you went there, put a chain around yourself. Yes. A 80-pound chain is Jay Lindsay. Yeah. Literally. I have the back pain to show for it today. Yeah.

10:57Now, for those of you that don't know, Eskimo Blue Waters is 32 years old. No. That's 26. She goes by the name Eskimo Blue Waters. Her real name is Judy Douche. Yes. The man from the news seemed to be upset with me when I told him my name yesterday. He didn't like it when you said Judy Douche? No, I didn't say. First of all, it's douche. Second of all, I didn't say that. I said my stage name because that's what I want to be known as. Eskimo Blue Waters. Yes. So the guy from Fox, when he was interviewing, he didn't like that? He said, please state your name and spell it. And I stated it, and I said, E-S-K. Yes, and then he said, really? And then he said, there's a space between blue and water. Oh, wow. I said, yes. So there is. She was out there. There's video, by the way, on Mikey's show. No, Facebook.com slash Mikey's show. True story. Video there of Eskimo sitting on the steps. Yep. Right below the cross. And your sign said? My sign said... It said, I will not... It said, Eskimo Blue Waters supports... Dot com. Dot com. Because there's now an Eskimo Blue Waters dot com.

12:24Taking down the cross. It was a picture of a cross, and it was drawn on a cardboard Office Depot box. That's all I had. I'm not made of money. I live in a Mustang. You don't. You live in a multimillion-dollar home. No, I live in a Mustang, and I use the grease from the wheels to make the sign. You live in a mansion, and you made the sign with a Sharpie. Yes. Well, the second part's true. Okay. Now, you got coverage, but it never aired. Is that correct? This is what I'm being told. I don't know because I don't have access to a TV. I live in a car. Right. A Mustang. One of my fans told me. That it did not air. It's not on there. So they covered it. Yeah. But didn't feel that Eskimo was worthy of putting on television. Yeah. I think. That's about right. He said, did you know that you have your website and not your name on this sign? I said, oh, I didn't realize that. The dot com must have been on the box when I got it.

13:27Oh, my gosh. It wasn't my fault. Oh, that's awesome. He also said, because I started a chant. Yeah. That was. Saw the chant. Yeah, on the line. Don't not take it down. Don't not take it down. One guy joined in. I saw that. That was Woods. That was me. It was don't not take it down actually means after a lot of deliberation, take it down. Yeah. So she was nervous. You know what I liked about it is that you did play. the E-string of your guitar. I did. Just the E-string. Over and over. Yes. Over and over again. Mike, I would be walking. The top and the bottom E-string, as a matter of fact. I would be walking around, and I would just, I'd be talking to somebody, and I'd hear, This is the audio of it. Like the guitar. Sing it if you're with me. Oh, wow. Don't not, don't not take it down. Don't not take it down. There's that E-string. Wow. It was a sight. Gotta hit it on the one. There's a little American flag waving next to her. One of my fans brought me a flag. How sweet. Another one of my fans brought me a sign that said, keep keeping the cross up. That was a good one. That was a good one. She actually addressed her fans here in this video. Like they're angry. She believes, here I'll play for you one more time. My fans act like they're angry towards me. I think they are. There was a particular group of Japanese businessmen.

15:17Yes. Visiting. I seem to be very confused as to what was going on. I don't know if they thought this was an American tradition, but I'm glad that I left an impression on them. So there was Japanese tourists. Oh, not tourists. Not tourists. There was a huge black SUV, blacked out windows that pulled by. The guy had an earpiece in, not a Bluetooth, an earpiece, the driver. And I'm like. What is this? Obama? All of a sudden, yeah. All of a sudden, five Japanese businessmen in suits get out, and they're walking around. I'm like, yeah, those are dignitaries or something. And they're standing at the top of the soldat cross, and they're looking down at Eskimo, and they're like, and they're talking to each other. Surprisingly, they didn't take any pictures, but they were there watching, and they saw her, and they were looking, and you could see the just, they had, they were like,

16:13What the hell? Where are we? At first I thought that they were there to sort of infiltrate. I thought maybe I was going to end up like with a sack over my head, thrown in the back of the SUV. They really didn't care that much. They didn't seem to care. Well, what are you going to do, right? There seemed to be some men in uniform that showed up that may or may not have been upset with my display. Oh, wow. Well, you know, so much for... National headlines, you know? You know, probably if the thing in Egypt wasn't going on. Yeah. They said that they would have liked to see me actually take a leap and chain myself to something, but I just wasn't willing to do that. I thought chaining my soul was enough, but apparently not. Yeah, apparently that's just not good enough these days. Well, Eskimo, you know, best of luck. Keep keeping on. Well, the cross is still up, so I think I made my point. You sure did. You sure did. Good job. You made your point. I think so. You're clapping for yourself, Eskimo. You're clapping for yourself. I did a good job. I stayed there till noon. Yeah. Wow. Got there at 11. You did an hour and a half. You know, that's a protest. I did, and then I got really hot and dehydrated. Yeah, you know that the people in Egypt have been out there two weeks. I didn't know that. All right. Well, you know, whatever. I'll go back again for an hour. No, it's all right. An hour here, hour there. Eskimo, thank you.

17:44Yeah, I think you're an inspiration to all of us. Speaking of the Egyptian protesters, yesterday got weird. Yeah, all yesterday morning, the Egyptian protesters were waiting for the President Mubarak to come out because he said he had this big announcement and people thought he was going to step down as president. Well, I know this just from watching. I know that really high-ranking American officials had it on good, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? Good authority. That he was. Yeah. And so we all thought that we were going to see the president come out, make this announcement. The protests would be over because that's what they want, the president to come down, step down. And he said that he is not stepping down and that he is going to remain in office as president until the elections in September, which means protests are about to get even earlier. Today marks the 18th day for protesters out there. And I mean, imagine. The passion you must have to be out there camped out in tents for 18 days. And it's just been announced this morning that the president has, in fact, gotten on a helicopter and left, not Egypt, but he went to another. Mubarak. Mubarak, yeah. Got in a helicopter. Got in a helicopter and left Cairo. He's freaked out. To get out of there, away from all these protesters. Because, I mean, they don't want him around, obviously. And he went to another town. Should I try and pronounce it?

19:06I would love that. Please. Sharim Ashika. Isolate. Easy. Isolate. FCC violation. Oh, that's fantastic. I think I did a fabulous job. Yeah, you did. So, we'll have to just wait and see what happens. Yeah, but looks like he's going to be there until September. I mean. This is the Egyptian vice president spoken through a translator. The youth and the heroes of Egypt, go back home. No problem. Okay. Do not listen to the satellite television station. No problem. Whose main purpose is to fuel sedition and drive away among the people. Or maybe to show that we're not leaving. Maybe that's what they're doing too. They're showing that we're, even though you want us to leave, we're not leaving. You could see footage yesterday on the news that they had like these big screens where you could see the president and what he was saying for the protesters. And protesters, they were just grabbing anything they could, shoes, whatever. Oh, wow. Chucking them at the screen. They hate this guy. Here is passion. Now, this is Mubarak himself spoken to a translator.

20:32This is something that I will never accept. To listen to something that is dictated to me from a foreign source. No matter what the source is. Guys ever just have pride? He's just fueled by it now. I'm not going to leave because they forced me out. He's like the kid. Exactly what I would do. Nobody tells the kid what to do. Nobody tell me. And I will stay as long as I want. And in addition, why not keep eyes on paper? I like that strategy. Give the powers of the presidential powers to the vice president. Why don't you all suck it? Michael, I am going on vacation though. I'm leaving. I'm coming to San Diego. Yeah. Got a room at the Hotel Del. The ship, yeah. Yes, I'm going to Padre's Fan Fest tomorrow. I'll be there. It will be great fun. Want to see the sea well? Hash House, I hear, is really good. Really good. But I hear, get there early. Long line. Long line. But you know what? I hear pancakes like this big. Size of Cairo. Yeah. Freaking huge. So.

21:49That's the deal. That's what's going on in Egypt. Gosh, we thought that was big news yesterday. He was going to get out of there. That is tough for those people. Woods got back in the water this week, too. That's why. Yeah, seriously. You're bait. I am bait. You're like chum. Chum. You surfed this week. When was the last time you surfed? Oh, gosh. It was probably August, September. Wow. Yeah, I took some time off. Now look what's happening. If you don't know. Sienna, what did they spot in La Jolla? The La Jolla Cove right off the shore. Great white shark. Enormous, huge. Great white shark was spotted. And you know why it was spotted, La Jolla Cove? Why? Because the dang seals are there. Oh.

22:37Maybe we get rid of all those seals and get them off the beach and we'll stop drawing great white sharks. I'm with Sienna. It's interesting that you say that because the other day I was surfing with Jay and I had my black wetsuit on and I tried to catch a wave and didn't. They don't usually attack whales. Oh. Oh. Oh, wow. Wow. Below the belt. It was really, that was very veiled. It was very veiled the way he did that. A direct hit. Anyway, I was really tired. I didn't want to paddle back out. So, you know when you have your board and you're just holding onto your board, kicking your legs? Yeah. I go, looks like a seal. I look like a big, fat, black seal. And I jumped right back on my board and was like... Whenever I'm in the water, which is not very rare or very often anymore, I get all the way up so that nothing is hanging off the surfboard, you know? Like, no fingertips, nothing. Whenever I dangle on my board like that, I feel like... Well, it wasn't a very big great white shark, luckily. Two scuba divers were out there. It was around 1.30 p.m. yesterday, and they saw what they thought was a five-foot great white, about 30 feet of water underwater. Piece of cake. Piece of cake. So scary. I feel like if there's one, there's more. Of course there's more. Of course. They're all over.

24:06I'm just glad this music doesn't play while I'm surfing. Oh, no. That's what the lifeguards should do when they put a warning out. They don't want you to get in the water. They should just play this with loudspeakers on the beach. Do not get in the water. Yeah, probably the most terrifying movie. Have you ever seen Jaws, the whole movie, Woods? Yes, when I was younger. You did? Yeah, I won't watch it now. Because you're a surfer? I wouldn't say I'm a surfer. I surf. I surf. Yeah. There you go. You did great. You're doing good. Yeah, you did. 570-1949 is our number. And if you want, you can text us. It's 949mikey at gmail.com. This next story is either an example of why everybody just needs to grow up or how people can just be clowns and vote for things because they want funny words to be enacted. Here's what I'm talking about.

25:12TV News Story audio, we're going to play for you. There's a new community center somewhere, and it's being named after one of the city's former mayors. The problem is, his name is a bit sophomoric. No way. Perfect. And they let people vote on whether or not this should be the name of the new community center. What do you think people did? I love it. Now, maybe it's because this guy, this mayor... was actually really influential, and, you know, that's why. Maybe. Maybe it's because his name is sophomoric. Maybe not. I love it. We'll play it for you next. Make some noise in the studio. Live studio audience. You're going to stop surfing woods because of the shark? No. It's their house. So you'll still do it? Yeah. It's their house, man. You dropped a hammer on them. If I had a hammer to drop on him, I would drop it on him for sure. I may surf with a pistol, but I'm still going to surf. That's right. I'd love it too much to not. And if I get eaten, then so be it. It'd be a delicious treat for him. I guarantee a shark, if a shark went near you, it would try and attack you, but you would get away because that's your life. That's woods. That's woods. I'd get nicked up on my calf. But you would live. You'd be fine. Thank you. I said better.

27:21boat accident. It wasn't any propeller. It wasn't any coral reef. And it wasn't Jack the Ripper. It was a shark. Oh. I am not getting in that water. Never again. Until they don't spot sharks. Really? Yes. Oh, they're going to always spot sharks. It makes me nervous. All right, so I'll play you this clip that I told you I was going to play you here in just a second. What is this community center? And what are they wanting to call it? We'll get to that in just a minute. 570-1949 is our phone number. This is M1 Kiko from Mission Valley. Are you there, Kiko? Yep. What was the word of the day? That is correct. Word of the day was hammer. And you just won yourself a four-pack of SeaWorld Fun Cars and tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross. Supercross. Rain or shine. That's right. Hang on. It's work.

28:27Tonight is our meet and greet. Want to have you come out for our meet and greet tonight. It's going to be at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. And we'll be out there from 5 to 7. Singles meet and greet. Come on out. Have some fun. Maybe do some bowling. Just hang out. Kids are allowed until 6 o'clock. So if you have kids and you can't get a sitter, come for an hour. Or if you're 18. That's right. That's right. And then it turns into sort of a more nighttime adult kind of deal. Okay, so check it out. This was in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And here is the news story. A former Fort Wayne mayor is getting some national attention. Thousands of people voted online to name the new city-county building in his honor. But that probably won't happen because of his name. News Channel 15's Don Austin is here to explain. Well, Heather, Mark, the people voted and the top pick so far with more than 10,000 votes is the Harry Balls Government Center, named after one of the city's longest serving mayor. That is so much worse than I thought it was going to be. It's his name. It's his name. His name is Harry Balls. People are very serious about it.

29:40I would vote for it. A hundred percent. It's part of our history. I think it's part of the history we're proud of. To pick the new name for the building, people went over to FeedbackFortWayne.org. They made suggestions and voting. The overwhelming frontrunner was the Harry Balls government center. Harry Balls was the mayor of Fort Wayne back in the 1930s and 40s. He even served a term in the 1950s. We have a street named after Harry Balls, so what's the big deal about the city building after him? It's his name. Imagine if Martin Luther's name was Harry Balls. We'd have a Harry Balls day. Saggy's brother. He's brother. Saggy's a name I hear all the time. Get it? Because he'd be Saggy balls. I had a friend named Saggy. And so many people have voted for it. I say let the people have the say. But this isn't Harry. First name.

30:45I like. Last name Wiener. I like. An election where the person with the most votes wins. We want to look at something that reflects both the city and the county. So, you know, we're looking for something that isn't just a mayor, for example. So is this all about the name? Some people think the Harry Balls government center would make Fort Wayne the butt of jokes. After all, the family did change the pronunciation of their last name from Balls to Bell. Jim said it was his grandma's idea. At the time when Harry was born, the connotation wasn't there. Like it's come up through the years. Yeah, you know, over the years, people have become more disgusting. And so now, you know, there are perverts, you know, and it's different than when I was a boy. When I was a boy, we called him Harry Balls. Nobody had an issue. There wasn't any kind of issue. And he'd be over there at the doctor's office and a nurse could come out and say, Harry Balls, Harry Balls. People didn't think it was funny. No one laughed. No sniggling. No sniggling. Now, here with the Lady Gaga and all that, now people find our culture different. And if you say him, Harry Balls, people think you're talking about something different. They do. How about Harold Balls?

32:09She was just trying to save the family. A little bit of embarrassment, especially with her children. Jim thinks a Harry Balls government center is not great for the city of Portland. What about just Balls? Well, I think we'll put it on the map for one thing. I know there's been a lot of controversy about it. I think a lot of people are going to snicker about it and laugh. But after it dies down, I don't see any problem. It won't die down. Ever. Kids for generations are going to be like... Let's go down to the Harry Balls Center. Oh, my gosh. You get Harry Balls? I'll be right there. Hey, where are you? Harry Balls? Cool. I'll see you. Oh, my gosh. How about the HB community center? Yeah, there you go. That's the kind of thing that you, as a kid, you dream of. There's something that sounds like it. You're like, if the guy's name is like Henry, we can maybe just call it Harry just to be funny. How many eight-year-olds do you think are going to take the opportunity to go, Dad? Can we go see the Harry Balls Community Center? And you look at your son like, really? Yeah, he gives you that look like, what are you going to do, Dad? That's the name of the place. It says it right there on the side. It says it. See, it wouldn't be a problem in New Jersey because we say Harry Balls. Harry. Yeah, Harry. Harry. Wouldn't be a problem. It wouldn't be a problem. Fort Wayne, Indiana, it's a big problem. Sounds like it. Yeah.

33:31Not really a problem. I think the newscaster really liked to say hairy balls. He said it about 15 times. The producer's like, you can just hit it twice. He's like, no, no, no. Hit it twice. No, I got it. I got it. I got this. You ever just take an opportunity? Absolutely. Of course. This is brilliant. Speaking of taking opportunities, this was kind of funny. Reminded her dad yesterday that it was Valentine's Day on Monday and he cursed and then said that he needed to make a reservation for Sienna's mom and dad's favorite restaurant. And Sienna knows her dad. He'll wait till the last minute and then the restaurant will be full. So she took the liberty of making the call for him. And she says that she may or may not. have called to make the reservation while Todd was in the room with her. Hint. Hint. Wow. He was sitting right next to me. I said, oh, I'm going to do my dad a favor. I'm going to call. He wants to make a reservation at this restaurant for, you know, me and my mom. I'm just going to call right now. Hi, I'd like to make reservations for Valentine's Day, which is on Monday. I'm making the reservation for my father because he forgets.

34:59That Monday is Valentine's Day. But he loves my mother very much. And so I will make a reservation lovingly. It's a big deal. It's a big holiday. For him. Todd just looked at me. I hung on the phone. I looked at him and smiled. And he just looked at me and shook his head. Last night. We had our growth group over, and I'm sitting there on the couch. Weird. And I know. And probably went through 20 minutes of us having a discussion, and I was on this long roll about something weird. Yeah. And I don't know if you guys have ever done this. Fat guys will understand. At one point, I realized that... The whole time I had been talking, my T-shirt had sort of skirted up and skirted up and skirted up. And my whole roll was exposed. The old T-shirt skirt. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, if my wife had been sitting on the other side of me, she'd have noticed and she'd have just pulled it down like a drape. A drape. Pulled the drapes down. And I think to myself.

36:22how do you not notice a draft, you know? How do you not notice, how do I not notice that a gigantic blubber is just out there? Insulation, out there, you know? And when I realized it, I was like, oh my gosh, inside, I was like... People have been looking. Oh, no. You looked at everyone in the eyes. Yeah. Like, did you see? Oh, yeah. You saw, by the way. You're not looking at me right now. So then you just real, you know, nonchalantly go. And, you know, and also. Pull it down. Pull it down. Mortifying. Of course. Happens to the best of us. Does it? Happens to me. When it happens to you, though, L.O.B., you don't have to deal with a giant fat roll that's hanging out. She's got big thighs. When I wear half shirts a lot, that happens. Put your shirt down. When I wear half shirts on the beach, it's the same thing. You just shook his belly like Santa Claus. I have got to address the young man in the room with the hair. There is a man in the room right now. And this young man.

37:38It's almost like looking in a mirror. Oh, yeah. I envy him. I cannot do. I want to touch it. It's a beautiful head of hair. It looks soft, too. Come on over to the microphone. Come on over to the mic. You've got to tell us what your name is. And you have to speak this close to that microphone. Watch the hair. Tell us what is your name. My name's Angelo. Angelo. How long did that take to grow out? Actually, not that long. Really? Yeah, I'd say like two or three years. Maybe that, is that long? I don't know. Yeah, that's long without a haircut. Yeah, two or three years. Now, I want you in your own words to tell me what you describe the hairstyle as. What would you describe it as? I don't know. I know it's just all over the place. Yeah. I guess just. How would you describe it? What word would you use? Untamed Jufro. Yeah. Untamed Jufro. Okay. That's what I was thinking. His words, not ours. Not ours. Untamed Jufro is a good way to describe it. It looks like broccoli. Now, this is what I want to know. I like it. It's awesome. I love it. Seriously, this is what it tells me about him.

38:58He's got confidence. Oh, yeah. Because you can't not grow your hair out. You want to be friends with this guy? Yes. Because right away you see his hair, you're like, I love him. I mean, you love him. You love him. As soon as I saw him, I loved him. So, but tell me this. Is there maintenance involved? Like, do you have to put anything in it? Not really, but it's kind of hard to explain. It's, I guess, I just. Before, when I didn't have it that big, I wouldn't use conditioner, but now I do. So I guess that's the only thing. Do you wash it every day? I've actually heard from a lot of people. Hippies. Hot smokers. You can say it. Hot smokers. You're not supposed to wash your hair every day. So you don't wash it every day. So I'll take a shower, but I won't wash it. That's a good thing to do. It's about every three days. Maybe more? No, every other. Every other day. Every other day. Okay. And then no conditioner or conditioner, you said? Conditioner. Conditioner. And then when you get out, you just towel dry? Well, I just let it air dry. Just air dry? Yeah. So you shake it. Do you want to brush it? Yeah, I just shake it. Well, I brush it in the shower, but I don't brush it out because then it gets like, I know it's already pretty frizzy, but it gets really frizzy. Yeah, so he does all the same things I do. It's so curly. You do not towel dry the hair? No. Or, excuse me.

40:14You do not towel dry the Jufro. No. Untamed Jufro. Untamed Jufro, he calls it. Do you have a pick? No. No, no pick. That's what I imagined. And then it slowly bounces up? Yes, exactly. Wow. If somebody were asking me to use a word to describe it, I would use the word extraordinary. Amazing. Absolutely. Extraordinary. I wish I had it. Me too. I need two. We couldn't pull up. Most people could not grow like that. No. It's amazing. You have nice hair. Yeah. It's great. Can I, can I, can I? Everybody's touching it. Does everyone say that? Yeah, I was just going to say it. Everybody wants to touch it. Everybody goes. Is this your friend or your girlfriend that's with you? Oh, it's my sister. Okay. Well, that was uncomfortable. We're not in Kentucky. That was definitely uncomfortable. And I apologize for that. I didn't mean to. I hate when that happens to me. That happens to me too. That's the worst. Do you have a girlfriend? No, not right now. I want to know if girls love running their fingers through it.

41:22Well, I know girls, like, they like it, but I don't know what that really means. Oh, it's, like, really cute hair, and, you know, it's cool and all, but I think they get over it, like, pretty fast. Oh, no. They're like, maybe cut your hair. No. Yeah, exactly. I like it. I love it. You haven't found the right girl. I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can't. Thank you. I look like an idiot. Thank you very much. A bigger idiot. If your hair would fall down, it would be like long hair. It goes up. It goes up. And if a girl tells you to cut your hair, she's the wrong girl for you. Fair enough. That's right. I love it. That is awesome. I think it's great. I wish I could do things like that. It's like you see wigs like that, but never real hair. Jufro. Untamed. He calls it an untamed Jufro. It's a UJF. In my speak. It's a UJF. Before the show started, we were talking about phrases that we used when we were kids. And Jay said one that brought back the greatest memories because it used to be on t-shirts it was so popular. Up your nose with a rubber hose. Oh, yeah. My mom says that. Why? She still says it?

42:35Yes. She'll still go, up your nose with a rubber hose. She'll be like, well, up your nose with a rubber hose. Like, if you don't want to go do something. I never got it, but it was funny. It was from Welcome Back, Cotter. Oh, yeah. And it was Vinnie Barbarino, played by John Travolta, that used to say it. Up your nose with a rubber hose. It wasn't around before that? I thought it was around before. No, it came from that show. He invented it? Yeah. Well, somebody invented it, and he, you know. He read it. Somebody wrote it, and he read it. But, yeah, that was. The Sweat Hawks. Oh, the Sweat Hawks. Mine was, my favorite was milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner. Around the corner, fudge is made. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. I remember that. People still say it. Oh, yeah. It's so gross. I kind of get it, but off the air, I'll have you tell me for sure. Yeah, you just point. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner. You have to point while you do it or else it doesn't really make sense. Is that what you would do, too, when you would say it? Yeah. Would you bop, bop, bop, bop, bop? It's disgusting. Yeah. What you doing? Eating chocolate? Where'd you get it? Doggy dropped it. Never heard that. That one must be for the 1800s. Yeah, that one was just back in Tombstone. Back in Tombstone. That was a big player. What about H-E double hockey sticks? I hate that. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Yep, remember that. When I was a little kid, I used to run around saying feast on this. So, there you go. No, you didn't. No, you did not. I didn't. Now, like kids say. Call us with us, by the way. My sister.

44:02She's in high school. She goes like, she did this to me the other day and I fell for it. She said, you have up dog on your shirt. You did not. And I said, what's up dog? Exactly. What's up with you? It's a good one. That's a good one. In the office. There's some up dog on your shirt. It smells like up dog in here. What's up dog? I'm going to call my brother right now and do that. Do it. But I can't say it's on a shirt. I'll just say. Hey, I got your email, and it had the up dog on it. Why don't you say, I just sent you some up dog. I just sent you some up dog. There you go. That's it. That's it. He will fall for it 100%. I fell for it. Steve? Steve. Nice. It's kind of like telling people that they're in the Pen15 club. You have to write it out. Pen. Oh. Used to do that. Hang on. Let's run it out. Of course. What am I saying? Hey, bro, I just wanted you to know I sent you some up dog. Great bit. Catchy. Leave it on his voicemail. That's a great bit, too. You know what he says at the end of it?

45:53Leave your name and number because your messages are important to me. And always remember, make it a great day. My mom said that. Do you have people to do that? Yes. That's her email signature. Make it a great day. Make it a great day. Sweet. Is it? Yeah. My mom also has a good saying when people ask her for a match. Yeah. She goes, yeah, I got a match. My butt and your face. I know that one. Brilliant. Your mother says that? Dude, look at L.O.B. They're like. They're the same. The Apple doesn't fall far. They're the same. Good one. If my wife's not listening, she'll fall for it. What's up, dog? This is Rebecca Esparza. You really want to get someone with it, don't you? You're getting, you're. That's good. It's getting good. Yeah. I've been working on it. We talk to her every day. Yeah, we talk every day. That's funny. Over dinner. Over drinks after Mike goes to sleep. Wiener time. Family members ever just not think of your phone calls? Hello? Hey, babe? Yeah? I just sent you some up dog. I'm listening. Damn it.

47:19Put someone on the phone. You need to run in from the baby's room to answer this dumb question. Hey, babe. Get your mom. If I called your friend Lori, would she pick up? No. She wouldn't pick up? No. No number. It's 7 in the morning. Oh, but I thought she gets up to go to work and stuff. Oh, she goes to work at like 10. You're screaming? Screaming at us, Rebecca. At the top of your lungs. No, everybody I know is still sleeping. All right, fine. Okay. And plus, don't you think that people would just say, what's that? No. I didn't. I've got people. I got my parents with it. Everybody will say, what's up, dog? Thank you, hon. Bye. It smells like up dog in here. Yeah, that's a good one. That's what the original one was. It smells like up dog in here. I love it. Why did I not know that? Any other little kid phrases? 5701949. Let's see. M1 Justin is on the line from Point Loma. What's up, Justin? Hey, what's going on, guys? Not too much. Hey, Mike, you got any Henway? Any Henware? What's Henware? Henway. Henway. Henway's about 4'5". I like that. That's a good one. All right. Thank you. Henway. I like it. I like it.

48:43I'm going to figure out how to do that, too. I have to do it to someone before the day's over. Chances you call someone else before the show's over? Probably 100%. I probably will. What did Elton John say about Billy Joel and his book that really upset Billy Joel? And they're not speaking. And I'm not sure that I'm completely out on what he did. I'm also not sure that I'm in on what he did. I don't know. But we'll play the audio of what he did. It's pretty gnarly. It's pretty crazy. I'll tell you next. That pizza is good. So fresh. Oh my gosh, that pizza is good. I almost said that. He said, is Red's new album a little bit harder? I don't know. It is and it isn't. Thank you to Naked Pizza who brought us some really delicious pizza this morning. It's all natural. No preservatives, no added sugar, no antibiotics, no hormones.

50:20No weird chemicals. Basically exactly what my wife would want to give our kids. Diversity of grains. Prebiotic fiber. I don't know what that is, but you know it's got to be good for you. Right. Antioxidants probably. Probably. Tastes so good. It tastes so good. Healthful probiotics. Bound together with water. This is pizza I'm talking about. I don't feel guilty now. The cheese is all natural. All-natural veggies, meats, and it does... I gotta admit, it tastes better. Yeah, it does. Freaking good. It tastes really fresh. I'm shoveling it in. I know, me too. Nakedpizza.biz. If you want to get a hold of them, they got a location in PB and Hillcrest, and it's good. I think that they just opened the one on Grand, and I've been driving by, and I always want to go in. Looks good. I'm so glad I'm eating it now. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Mikey, brace yourself. Oh, boy. Something happened to Apple's share price yesterday afternoon. Why? Well, investors are still scratching their heads. They're like, what is the deal? Well, the stock, which had been at an all-time high of $360 a share, started to drop randomly yesterday around 1 p.m. Then at $139, it fell from $355 to $349 in just four minutes. Yeah.

51:43In all, $10 billion got shaved off Apple's market capitalization before the stock began to recover. So it's recovering now. But they think, you know, we don't really know why, but they think maybe because of the surprisingly short lines. Verizon had the iPhone release yesterday. It's back up now. I just checked it. Oh, it is? I just checked it right now. Yeah, people were like, what the heck? Because Apple's been strong. Yeah, well, as you were telling me the story, I'm like, what's going on? So I just looked at it. It's back at 360. $355.95. That was $360 two days ago. Really? Yeah. Not a little bit. It goes, I mean, it'll do that. Right, right, right. But people, you know, they thought it would be booming because Verizon was releasing the iPhone yesterday. Yeah. And not so much. Also, don't forget, the Grammys are on this weekend on Sunday, live from the Staples Center in L.A. And it's on CBS. Eminem is the frontrunner. He has ten nominations. Bruno Mars has seven nominations. Jay-Z, Lady Antebellum, Lady Gaga, of course. Bob Dylan's performing. Dr. Dre, Christina Aguilera, a lot of people. Mick Jagger is going to be performing. So, Grammys this Sunday night. I look forward to that Bob Dylan performance. He's joining the Mumford & Sons. He is. That could be good. They're nominated, too.

53:01So that's okay. Yeah. But Bruno Mars being nominated for something is like... Yeah. All right. CeeLo Green, Gwyneth Paltrow, Arcade Fire, Barbra Streisand, Aretha Franklin. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, Cam Newton is in town. Did everybody know he's been... Follow me? He's been in San Diego for about six weeks. He's staying in Encinitas. Who's Cam Newton? Cam Newton, the quarterback for Auburn University. The Heisman Trophy winning, national champion winning Cam Newton. He has been in town. And yesterday went out to Cathedral Catholic High School and put on a display for a lot of media. And, you know, the draft is coming up in a few weeks. And he wanted to show them what he has. And LOB wanted to see what he has as well. Sure. And Trent Dilfer was out there yesterday watching. And I think he was pretty impressed with what he saw. Well, a few things pop into mind.

53:58A couple of things just jumped out at me. Number one, his physical stature, his presence. This is a giant man. I'm 6'4", 245 pounds, and he dwarfed me. The second thing is how the ball just pops off of his hand when he throws it. This is a cop. He dwarfed him. And Trent Dill for six. 245. Pack delivery. George Whitfield, his quarterback coach, has done a great job with him working from the ground up, getting him on balance, getting the energy in his feet to transfer to his entire body. And the ball just pops off his hand well, has great velocity, great spin. And then the third thing would be that he has quarterback DNA. He has passer DNA. I don't think a lot of people knew that. This is a guy that in some very challenging drills he was put through, some high challenging throws, was able to pin his eyes. down the middle of the field, get his eyes late to the receiver, throw with anticipation, throw his receivers early. Very impressed with this workout. You know what? What I think is really crazy is that he's projected to go like seventh or something. And maybe even lower is what I heard, too. Maybe middle first round, which would be, you know, quarterbacks you never, ever know. Brady Quinn was 6'4", 235, prototypical quarterback.

55:10Terrible in the NFL. Terrible. You just never know with these guys. But stuff like this is only going to help his stock. Well, you may wonder, well, why is it that they don't have him going higher? It's because of the kind of system that he played in in college. Played in a spread. Now, they said the same thing about a quarterback that came out of Cal a few years ago named Aaron Rodgers. Super Bowl MVP. Champion. Yeah. Aaron Rodgers. Same rap. Yeah, same rap. In fact, he wasn't the first one taken. First one taken was San Diego's and Helix High School's own kid from the 49ers. Alex Smith. Alex Smith. Yep. Went first overall. Great move. And so there you go. I guess sometimes you just don't know. It's a roll of the dice, my friend. And then also there was a rematch last night in the NBA of last year's finals. The Lakers and the Celtics took on each other, and the Lakers came out victorious 92-86. Kobe scores 23, and Pau Gasol adds a double-double too. So Lakers are beating up on some good teams. So the M1 Valentine's meet and greet is tonight. If you're single, it's going to be fun for you. So come out and join us tonight.

56:20We will be at the East Village Tavern and Bowl. It's at 930 Market Street downtown. The entire show will be there from 5 to 7, and it's going to be a good time. We're going to have drink specials. We're going to have people out there just mingling and having a good time, and we want to see you out there. So what was it that Elton John wrote about his friend, Billy Joel, in a book? that has them not talking. This was on the Today Show yesterday. You talked about your friend and longtime touring mate, Billy Joel, and a lot of the canceled dates over the years because of his drinking, quite frankly. And you said this. He's going to hate me for this, but every time he's gone to rehab, they've been rehabbed light. When I went to rehab, I had to clean floors. He goes to rehab where they have TVs. I love you, Billy, and this is tough love. Billy, you have your demons, and you're not going to get rid of them at rehab light. I know. He hates me at the moment. And I understand why. Have you spoken privately about it? No, he sent me a message and he's not happy. And I understand that. You know, I really love the guy. I mean, I think he's an American treasure as far as songwriting goes. He's up there with all of them. And from a New York point of view. I just was, I'm concerned. So this comes from a place of wanting to. Yeah, he's going to hate me and he's not going to be very happy with me. He's not going to talk to me. But it comes from a place of love. I said it's tough love. You don't take your dog to rehab. Okay?

57:45You just go in there and you try and listen. I'm sorry I had to say it, but I'm saying it because I really want Billy to live a long life and be very happy. That's all it came from. I understand why he's pissed with me. He may want to punch my face in at the moment, but it's okay. What do you think, Woods? I'm fine with it. Yeah, I think I might be too. Now. A lot of people would say, well, do you have to do that in such a public forum like a book or whatever? The thing is, is that with somebody like Billy Joel, if you do it with Billy Joel privately, it may not have any impact. In fact, it probably won't. It probably has before. They've toured together forever. Hey, you're missing dates. That's messing with Elton's money. You know what I mean? That's messing with their careers. Elton doesn't seem like the kind of guy to keep his mouth shut. Right. Yeah. What's the worst Valentine's gift that you've ever given, Woods? I bought a girl one time and I had just started dating her and I was in like eighth grade. Gas station rose.

58:58Just a single one? Yep, in the paper by the checkout thing. Like gas station rose. Isn't there like a little plastic bear attached to it? It was $1.99. A real rose or a fake one with a fake water droplet on it? Fake with the fake water droplet. Oh my gosh. Silk. Hey everybody, we're all going to get laid. When I was 16, I thought that it would be cool to buy a girl for her car. If you like obsession, you'll love. Oh, boy. Oh, no. And you spray it in your car. Oh, boy. Oh, I thought it would be the rainy air freshener. No, you spray it in your car. The generic. It makes your car smell like obsession. Obsession. Obsession. Awesome. Yeah. You got a girl car smell? Yes. Wow. Because you wear obsession? No, it was Obsession for Women. Oh, Obsession for Women. Yeah. I thought maybe, like, I want to remind you of me riding shotgun with you when we go to Taco Bell. No. And I want you to remember that scent. Did it have to be Taco Bell? Is that the deal? Well, obviously. Obviously. I'm talking about you. Sorry. El Portal.

1:00:13I think I got a worse gift. When I was in high school, my boyfriend didn't remember that it was Valentine's Day. So when I called him to see where he was, because he was coming over, he was at a Mexican restaurant in La Jolla called Bahia. And I said, oh, happy Valentine's Day. And he was like, oh, you too. He came over. And he brought me a bag of spicy carrots because he knew I liked them. Oh, wow. This is not a joke. And said, happy Valentine's Day. I was like, oh. So you just sat there and ate your carrots? I'm never going to forget. I mean, I do like spicy carrots, but not for Valentine's Day. Wow. It was the saddest thing ever. He felt bad about it later because he forgot and he was already whatever. It was bad. It was bad. Did he still get lucky? 570. Do you see how Jay says it and he goes... 570-194-9. Guys, what's the stupidest thing you've ever given? Ladies, what's the worst thing you've ever received? At least Sienna had a boyfriend in high school. I didn't. And they did those little fake, you know those little telegrams? I don't know if your school did that. Where you pay like a dollar and they'd give the candy. Candygrams. Yeah, candygrams. So I got it and it was like...

1:01:35One of my girlfriends wrote it from the guy I had a crush on. Oh, gosh. Torture. Thanks a lot. Bad idea. Insults injury. Were you not allowed to have a boyfriend or you just didn't have a boyfriend? I just didn't have one. Now, when you think about it, doesn't that surprise you guys? What was the deal, L.O.B.? I was really involved. I played. Well, I ran three sports in high school. Did you not get cute until after high school? Did you bloom after? I went through some phases. Sienna and I have talked about this. I was like a really cute little girl, really pretty little girl. And then I got to like fifth or sixth grade and I got some old buck teeth. Yeah, middle school I felt really uncool. Yeah, I was really, really skinny with these like... Yeah, I was really awkward. I didn't know how to deal, because I have wavy hair, I didn't know how to deal with it, so I'd just comb it out and be all frizzy. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I had glasses part of the time, or a retainer part of the time. Girls at some point always go through an awkward phase. Yes. Everyone does. So do boys. Yeah, it's very true. Except when you look like that in sixth grade. Stop pointing at pictures of you.

1:02:41There's a framed picture of Woods in sixth grade in this room. All downhill from there. Yeah, seriously. I had a pseudo boyfriend when I was a junior in high school. Is his name George Glass? No. I used to call a guy I had a crush on George Glass. Yeah. But I had a boyfriend, kind of. I didn't know. Like, we started. Like to fizzle out. And then on Valentine's Day, I went by his car and he had a big heart-shaped thing for his ex-girlfriend in the car. Oh. So I kind of figured out we were done. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. M1 Vanessa from San Diego. Good morning, guys. Good morning. I got a pair of rolled up panties that look like a rose from a liquor store. Wow. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. And you were dating Jay then? And I set up for us to go to Humphrey's for dinner. Wow. Isn't that great? That is great. This is the ghetto portion of the show. That is gnarly. Did you wear them? No. Were they edible? No, they were like two sizes too small.

1:03:45Thank you. Better than two sizes too big. He's given you some sort of hair. Yeah, it's true. Is there anything more disgusting than edible underwear? That's gross. No. It's not even nutritious. What? What would eat it? It's so disgusting. I'd eat it. He eats anything. I would go. I was looking for my water bottle cap the other day and I was like, what? Gone. Gone. Ate it. Got a hold of it. Lauren O'Brien, what would you like to get for Valentine's Day? What would I like? Wait, maybe the wrong person asked. Probably the wrong person asked. Maybe I know. Maybe I could figure it out. I would like, you know, something that really meant something, that really spoke to my personality. Like an engagement ring. As long as it spoke to my personality, I wouldn't say no to it. Like an engagement ring with a black diamond in the center, like the ones that you were showing us in here the other day. What? What? What? You're not supposed to say that. Did you ever just speak it? What? With his hugging Lauren right now, like, whoops, sorry. Hey. Oh, boy. Kid's a hint dropper. Yeah, sure. Real subtle. Well, that was very subtle. Like Jason. Jason. Hey, get her a ring. Hey, Matt Commerce, if you're listening, propose. No, I think something that, like, really was, like, not just a, oh, anyone can go pick up, like.

1:05:07Whitman's candy sampler or like, you know, just red roses cliche to really speak to the personality. So something that I'd been hinting about, maybe a piece of sentimental jewelry. Yeah, I got Rebecca. I got Rebecca roses and chocolates. My friend just got a new perfume and I smelled it. And I thought it would be a really good Valentine's gift from a guy. And I think it smells good. I don't know, Lauren, if you've ever smelled it before. Marc Jacobs Daisy. Oh, that's nice. And it's really like a clean smell. And it like has a flower on the perfume bottle. It's like made like a daisy. It's a really pretty bottle. Under $100. I go to Nordstrom's or wherever. And it's a nice gift. Nice smell. Daisy like flowers. Valentine's Day. Yeah. That would be a good one. I don't know about buying perfume for girls. Yeah, because you don't know. My wife can't wear perfume. I'm getting Jamie perfume and probably Marc Jacobs. It's really like a sweet, nice smell. Have you already got a Valentine's Day for her? Sure. Having the reservations taken care of without them even having to tell you is a huge thing. You guys are going to die when I tell you our dinner plans. You're going to die. Have you ever seen the movie What About Bob?

1:06:21You know when they're eating at the table and they have fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, biscuits and salad. We were watching it last night and I was like, oh my God, that looks good. She goes, that looks like the greatest meal ever. And I go, she goes, maybe we do that for Valentine's Day. I go, all the way in. We're going to replicate the dinner from What About Bob. Only difference is I'm getting the chicken at KFC. We're going homemade mashed potatoes. Homemade corn on the cob. Salad. KFC chicken is so good. And biscuit. I don't like it. And I'm going to go get a bucket of chicken. I like it. Oh, I love it. Gosh. Yeah, I'm the... Be on board with that. I'm okay with the takeout, but making food on Valentine's Day is a beating. What about me? I'm the bad guy because I got roses and chocolates. This guy's getting KFC. Yeah, I know, but... And perfume. But it's... It's sentimental. It's... It's original. It's original, yeah. Actually, I'm getting extra crispy. I'm not getting original, Sienna. Oh, it's extra crispy. Once you get to a certain point. I started dating Rebecca in 1998. I've done the things. I know. Mike, you're fine. You run out. You're fine. Trust me. I'll get the flowers probably and the chocolate. You'll get your standard pro flowers on Valentine's Day. It will come in the mail. I'll say thanks, pro flowers guy. I'll sign for it. Put the bouquet together. Oh, my God.

1:07:43But I actually told Todd last night, I said, let's just stay home. I don't want to do anything. It's not a big deal. You're an angel. Did you really? Yeah. Just because we have, you know, a baby and it's just a pain. Our anniversary is in a couple of weeks. So we'll do something. I love that. Isn't that great? It's so great when you're able to, with your spouse, just say, listen, is it okay if we don't do anything for each other? Well, I still want to be get me something. I just don't want to go anywhere. I don't like going. You guys are a couple, right? Are you dating or married? You're dating. How long have you been dating? New and fresh. Come over to the microphone. Get over here. Come over to the microphone. What is your name? Becky. And what is your name, sir? John. How old are you, John? 25. How old are you, Becky? 24. Okay, let me just say this. Enjoy this time. It's a wonderful, wonderful time. Now, I don't know. Drink it in. I don't know what will happen. Let's say hypothetically that it ends up working out and you guys end up together. I think we all do. I miss that time so much. I know. I know. I love what I have now, but I miss that time. Crazy whore. Right now. Exactly. Right now, if you got him a Nerf football, it'd be cool because he hasn't got a Nerf football from you. Yeah. At this point in my relationship with my wife, we've given each other all the clever things, you know? So you get to a point where you go, how about a pizza?

1:09:05How about KFC? Yeah. How about KFC? It's difficult. It's nice to be at the point where you can talk about it. Let's stay in and let's have some wine. Yeah. Order something. Let's not do anything big. Yeah. I don't want to dress up. Three months you guys have been dating. Have you been through a birthday yet? Yeah. His birthday, your birthday? His. What did you do? Can't really talk about it on the air. He was out of town. I baked him a cake and he went out of town. Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Aw, you baked him a cake. You baked him a cake. That's so sweet. That's really cool. That's really cool. And now, have you guys got a plan for Valentine's Day? Not really. You don't. We haven't talked about it. You've talked about it. He does. He better. You better. You have not talked about it. You better. Yeah, he's got a plan. You have not talked about it? You don't. You don't when you're new. No, you don't. It's awkward and then it just happens and you're like, oh, okay. I almost want to have her leave the room so I can interview him. Yes. Yes. Can we do that? Yes. Can you leave the room? Can you leave the room? Yeah, go in with Jay. Jay, you got to make it quiet in there. It's quiet in here. Okay. Don't hit on her, Jay. Too late. Poor John right now is racking his brain like, what can I tell him? What can I tell him? What do I say? What do I say? I got to come up with a plan. John, do you have a plan? It's okay to say no.

1:10:23I have no plan. We can help him. It's okay. We'll help him. We'll help you. No, you don't. No, you don't. You don't. Why? Restaurants will. Dude, restaurants are already. He can do it at home. Not every restaurant. Yeah. He doesn't have to. He could cook or he could do something. Go to Long John Silver's. There'll be an open. You can go there. That'll be good. Popeye's chicken. Popeye's chicken. KFC is where you're going. Yeah, but I've been with my wife for nine years. Yeah, I've been with her for three months. You got to think of something for back. You got to go big. Honestly, I think that you should like. Make your house look all nice where you live and maybe cook her a meal and have some flowers, maybe like a tablecloth. But don't go overboard because you might scare her. No. He's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. He's like, you guys ever just ruin my relationship? She's chill, though. We'll do something. Let me tell you something. I'm going to give you. John, I'm going to give you some wisdom from a 40-year-old. No girl is chill. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. We start off chill. You believe that they're chill. They're all chill. I'm chill. They want you to do something. They want you to do something. Chill to us. Yes. No, they do. They do. All right, Becky can come back in.

1:11:35We'll have to figure something out. You did good, John. It's okay. Talk to me on the break. John, talk to me on the break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. 5701949 is our number. Somebody has a non-fail Valentine's gift, and it's M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. Go ahead, Cave Dweller. Hey, guys. Hi. How's it going today? Good. I have a no-fail, 100% Valentine's Day gift. Works for couples that live together and married folks. Okay. All right. Figure out what kind of pampering your girl wants, whether it's manicure, pedicure, massage, something like that, and get her out of the house. Yep. Okay. While she's out of the house, you clean that thing top to bottom. Or pay someone to do it. And then you figure out what she likes to eat or figure out a meal that you can make with your eyes closed and make it. Okay. And that's all you got to do. I like it. That's great.

1:12:32That will never fail you. Pretty good. Do you have to actually cook with your eyes closed? Yeah. That could be hard for some people. Yeah, that could be hard. Be the tricky part. That could be hard. That is a foolproof plan. I really like that. I like that. Thank you very much. Well done. Jay's foolproof plan is Rohypno. Oh, wow. L.O.B., where did this ad come from again? A 1955 magazine. Where did your boyfriend, Matt, get this magazine? He does some work with nursing homes and senior centers, and somebody gave it to him. It is an ad from Hit Parader magazine from 1955, and the ad is Don't Be Skinny, and it gives ways to gain weight. No problem. Gosh, I wish I lived in the 50s. Apparently, we have figured that out. You have to read some of the testimonies. The fatter, the more beautiful. Some of the testimonies. What happened? It says endorsement. I love it. Yeah, here's some of the endorsements from it. I'm an ex-prisoner of war and have been skinny and run down for quite some time. Run down.

1:13:39With my first bottle of Wait On, which is what it's called. Oh, my gosh. I feel better again, and it has done wonders for me. That's from RW, Marysville, Pennsylvania. Wait On. This one says, Results I got from first bottle were absolutely amazing. That's from Mrs. Virginia M. Alaskan from New Jersey. This one says, I gained five pounds. That's it. That's all it says. That's all it says. That's the endorsement. Mrs. J.C. Bledsoe from Kentucky. Sexy. This one says, I went from 72 pounds to 96 pounds on weight on. It's a 12-year-old. Yep. Oh, wait. I can type. Signed, Miss Ollie M.D., Rich Square, North Carolina. Wow. Wow. Yes. Wait on. I always call it cheesecake. Yeah. I call it McDonald's. As I was going to say, this is from 1955, and McDonald's was franchised in 1956. Is there a connection, maybe? Wow. Don't be skinny. Let's see. If you are single, okay?

1:15:05How much would you, and your dude, how much would you, imagine right now as a dude that you could go on a date with Jennifer Aniston. Wait till you hear her say how many years it's been since she's been on a date. It's her birthday today. How old is she? Jennifer Aniston is 42 years old and looking fantastic. Fantastic. Hope I look like that. I do too. She looks 32. She's amazing. She looks 32. She does. And what amounts of money can do that? No, no, no, no. That makes my mouth water. Is it plastic surgery? Is it just... I don't know. She has great genes, I think. I mean, she looks really amazing. Yeah, they're rockin' Republic, right? Make some noise in here with our live studio audience. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show with a live studio audience in here today. I love it. All right. Let's see what you guys think about this. This is from last night.

1:16:50They're getting down to people that are good on American Idol. Yeah. Don't watch it. Just listen to the clips. That's what I do. Wait a minute. Sorry. So, yeah, this was from last night. Yes, between us, you have come to show you. Go on. There's a night. A little pitchy. Oh, pitchy at the top. Just hit the top. She's amazing. I thought she was amazing too, but I'll tell you something. When they miss that one note, it'll get you. Yeah, it makes you go, oh.

1:17:41A pro wouldn't do it. Okay. If they miss that note like on the last show or when they're down to the top ten, okay, I agree with you. But they're so nervous. Never done this before. Singing in front of J-Lo and Steven Tyler. And a pro does sometimes miss that note in a live performance. That's why in a studio you get many, many outtakes. Right. Christina Aguilera boxed one. But there's the words. Yeah, with the words. It's true. I thought she was good. She sounded good, but she did boxed it. She hates America, so it's not that big a deal. She looked good. She might as well be Bin Laden. She hates America. Whoa, whoa. Easy. That was a little bit harsh. Was that a little over the line? A little bit over the top. Unnecessary. All right, so Jennifer Aniston. How long has it been since you... dated anybody. This is again in the magazine that you have not been on a date in over a year. True or false? That's true. Is that bad? I would think they would be banging on your door. That's why she's happy. Go on all the dates you get asked to go on. She gets asked out, she doesn't go out with people. Now they gotta be handsome men. So why is she not going? I don't get it.

1:19:08She is so pretty and seems so likable and funny. Something is wrong. And I don't know what. Yeah, she's heartbroken. I'm sad. I mean, she had Brad Pitt. Come on. She's fine. Get over it. She is sad. Wait, mocking voice, I'm sad? Yeah. They got divorced, what, 10 years ago? Long time. Has it been that long? Yeah, it's been a long time. Six years ago. Yeah, but she has to see it every day in her face. Publicly crushed. Sucks. Find a man. Keep a man. She tried. What happened? Keep a man. Yeah. What? What are you talking about? What do you mean? I'm not a monster. He cheated on her. No. Who did? Brad? Yeah, Brad cheated on her. No. What happens? Something's up with her. There's something not right. A screw is loose. Tell me. Tell me. It's true. Talk to me. It's true. What do you mean? When you're that pretty and you're that funny and that nice. You're with a guy. No, she's focused on her career. She is? Yeah, let's do her talk. Anytime she talks, she's crazy. I think she's crazy. There's something wrong. Yes. Yeah. And Brad Pitt, you know, I'm totally on Team Jen. Screw Angelina Jolie. But when Brad Pitt met Angelina Jolie, it was like, man, this girl's pretty wild and pretty cool. It was like, well, this is refreshing. Yeah. Well, that makes him.

1:20:30He's a jerk. He's a jerk. He's a jerk. How crazy does Jen Aniston have to be if Angelina is the one he stays with? No. It's kind of true. Everybody wants to dip their toe in the water. I get that. And she was different than Jennifer Aniston. He's dipped his toe for a long time. Now they have 15 kids. No, I get that. But Jennifer Aniston could have anyone. I mean, she was apparently dating Gerard Butler, Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, all these people and nothing. Nothing. They all go marry somebody else. They all go marry someone else. Well, number one. She's good luck Chuck. Number one. Oh my gosh. She's good luck Chuck. She is fascinated right now. She's good luck Chuck. Something, you know, some women. Oh, I wish I was. That happens all the time in Hollywood. You guys are paying only attention to her. I wish I was friends with her. I do too. I wish that I was friends with her so I could diagnose what the problem is. Yeah. Because I would. I'm mad at you. She's a beating. I'm mad at all of you guys. I think she, like, knows she's hot. You know? And she and Courtney Cox just sit and talk trash about guys all day. Really? Yeah, I do. Now, do you believe this? Yes. Okay. I love Jennifer Aniston. Let's talk. Let's talk. I love Jennifer Aniston. Let's talk. Let's talk. I do. But, you know, something's not right. So you believe that her and Courtney get together. They have lunch. Yeah, especially now that Courtney and David are over. Arquette. Courtney's totally on board with her now. And so, Jen, her standards are too high.

1:21:57Yes. Yes. And she's a scorned woman, so she's afraid, and so she's like overly paranoid and overly thinks everything. Who would be good enough? If you know, you're thinking like her. She needs to stop dating celebrities, and she needs to meet a cool guy that's nice. We're at the bank? No. She can find one anywhere. There's good-looking guys everywhere. Do you mean Cinnabon? Like anywhere? You said anywhere. The airport. average, successful man. No one in Hollywood. Wells Fargo? Could be Wells Fargo. Okay. Because I mean, when you say... Friend of a friend. Friend of a friend. Like at a party, maybe Courtney Cox throws a party. They have a bunch of people there. Courtney's like, oh, this is, you know, my cousin. I have a theory. Friend, whatever. I have a theory. I believe that when she met Brad Pitt, he convinced her. He convinced her that he'd never cheated on a woman. And that he never would. I believe that. And then he cheated on her. And now she goes, if I believed that, that means that that's not true. And every guy that tells me that is going to be a liar. Therefore, when I meet a new guy and he tells me he won't cheat.

1:23:18I know he's lying and he will cheat. But she has to get that out of her head because that means she hasn't moved on. You need to know you can't punish a new relationship from the past. It's a different relationship. And that's her problem, I think. Don't date an actor. Don't date an actor. Don't date a celebrity. Find someone. He can act like he loves you. People that aren't celebrities do cheat. Well, that's true. They're not as good as lying away at them. The difference is that it's been six years. It's probably not going to happen with Brad Pitt. Since he's got a family and he's moved on. It's not going to happen. You've got to move on. You've got to if you're her. She did. She dated John Mayer. Good choice. But these are all these public guys. That's the thing. She's gone for these two guys that were really good with the ladies. One guy cheated on her and completely humiliated her in front of everybody. Brad Pitt. Then John Mayer used to tip off the paparazzi for them to come because of her and up his status. So she's like, I can't trust him. Anybody. Anyone that I date is just a star chaser. So she's just got to like. Isn't it bizarre? But why are you dating John Mayer in the first place? You should know better. Come on. Oh, she's a woman. I'm going to tell you what the deal is. My wife said the same thing. Here's the John Mayer thing. Women believe they're the one. Yep. They are the tamer. Before them, there was no tamer. Before them were dork girls. Yeah. Taylor Swift.

1:24:46is 19 years old. Well, was... 21 now. I know. But at the time she was dating, was 19 years old. She was such... I hate to say it, but I think I might believe this. A narcissist. That she believed Jen Aniston intellectually did not meet his standards. Neither did the ghost whisperer. Jennifer LePewitt? Yeah. Neither did... Kristen Cavallari. Neither did Jessica Simpson. None of them met his intellectual needs. But she did. And she was going to tame him and be different. She was going to be the one that was different than all the other girls. And unfortunately, I believe that we as people, not just women, men think it too. We think we're the one. We think we're special.

1:25:49We're special. We should think that. Don't you think 19's too young to be messed with? Oh, stop quoting the song. You don't? Tastes good. Oh, wow. It's okay. It's okay, Mike. Here's what I think. I think that if you have the cognitive ability to recognize that 19's too young to be messed with, it isn't. Give me a break, Taylor. My wife said the same thing. He shouldn't be messing around with a 19-year-old. She shouldn't be messing around with a 30-year-old. Exactly. I know. Yeah, I knew what I was doing in a relationship with an older guy. But you did think. She wanted it more than anything. You did know. You knew that you were going to tame Todd. No, I didn't. I mean, I believe that some women think that. You thought you were going to tame him. No, I didn't. I think it was the other way around. It was. Todd was going to tame her. Is that right? I was younger and I was all over the place. That's what happened with Rebecca. Yeah.

1:26:52You thought you would tame her? No. No. I did not think I would tame her. It just turns out I did. Yeah. But I didn't think that. It just turns out I did. Nobody broke up with her before. I think... Wait a minute. I think she gets mad when I tell that. Oh, wow. Oops. Erase that. It's too late. It's out there. Tell the stenographer. Just take it off the record. Take that off the record. Hit the dump button. People don't know this, but... L.O.B. actually types out each word of the show. And that's shorthand. Yes. But yeah, all of the dudes that she had dated before me were pushovers. Little salads. They were like, they were, she was in charge of the relationship and she would like get on them about stuff and blah, blah, blah. And when we met, I was like, what are you talking about? You remember me back in the day. That's when we started dating. Yes. And so we started dating, and I remember we were at Bed Bath & Beyond in Dallas. She's going to hate me. She's a different person now. Uh-oh. She got mad at me at Bed Bath & Beyond, and she pointed her finger at me. Oh, boy. Yeah! And we got back to my apartment, and I said, I waited until we were back to apartment. Oh, boy. Guys are good at waiting. Girls can't do that. Oh, I'm not. Yeah. I'm like, ah!

1:28:17And I said, if you ever point your finger at me again, I'll never speak to you again. And I want you to know that I mean that. And I meant it with every ounce of my soul. Because I had never had a chick point. She never pointed at me again. But I think more than that, she was like, who is this guy? Jamie and I had to tame each other. You know, she didn't tame. I mean, you can't tame this kid. You know what I mean? Can't tame a beast. She never met a cyclone like she met me when she met me nine years. She's like, what is this? You know what you remind me of, Woods? You remind me of if you were to get a wild Bronco out in Montana, in the hills of Montana, the cowboy would eventually go, forget it.

1:29:10This is just who he is. Listen, there are some horses you're never going to be able to ride. I don't think that's true. I think you can ride me. That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I think I'm tame. I'm way tame now than I used to be. You know who it would surprise you, I think, to know is tame? Who? This one? Oh, yeah. Me? What do you mean? I think you're tame. I didn't used to be. You used to be a wild one? Mm-hmm. Matt and I tamed each other. We both used to be. We said if we ever knew each other in college, we'd probably both be dead. Yeah. Because very crazy. Yeah. But now I'm like, let's watch a movie. Fall asleep at 8.30. We tamed each other. You want to play a movie plot hot potato? Oh, boy. I do. I want to play a movie plot hot potato. Oh, come on. I'm getting the break signal. 5701949. Let's play. What's the price?

1:30:09Today's prize is a pair of tickets to the Monster Energy AMA Supercross that's rain or shine. 5701949 if you would like to win tickets to the AMA Supercross. Movie plot hot potato. Loser does what? A BB. Jay and Woods. You're either going to pick Jay or Woods. Whoever loses takes a BB. Make noise in here with our lives. Navy plot hot potato coming up here in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in news? Don't forget, on the cover of the UT, big story all week, big event. This Saturday, the Navy's launching their year-long celebration of their 100th anniversary. There's going to be about 200 current and vintage aircrafts flying over the San Diego-Cornado Bridge and up the San Diego Bay in a parade that begins at 1 p.m. There's going to be a lot of people there.

1:31:37Also, Delta Airlines is sending about 11,000 employees to Charm School. Hello. After 2010. They were rated Delta with the most customer complaints. And so they're being sent. All ground staff employees that interact with flyers are being sent to a one-day session where they have to do role-playing scenarios with angry and confused and lost customers. I was one of those complaining customers. You were? The training's going to include delivering bad news with a smile and never apologizing for baggage fees if customers complain. What'd you complain about? Everything. Anytime I get... I always complain that the airlines... You do? Yeah, I write in. Oh, wow. Do you complain to the stewardess? This time... Flight attendant? No, I write in. Oh, boy. I write in. The air waitress? I write in because I have one of those... I'm a preferred... I don't know. I'm a mild...

1:32:35Miles High Club. Yeah, yeah. No. That's what it's called. No, but on all the airlines, I've got a lot of miles racked up because I used to fly a lot for work. And I'll write in complaints. I pay a lot for the ticket. So you write. You don't do it to their face. You write them. I write a letter. You write a letter. Do you handwrite it or do you type it? I have handwritten, but usually now it's so easy to just submit it online. What do they do for you? The last one that I complained about, we went outside to do the curbside check-in. This guy was yucking it up, yucking it up with some woman that he was flirting with, another customer, and just like, ha, ha, ha. And he's like, okay, what do you guys got? We're like, we got to go. We're on a flight. So you guys were late for the flight? No, we were right there. You were rushing? We were right there. It wasn't my fault. My dad was driving. On my clock, it said we were right on time. And on his clock, it said we were a minute late. And I was like, well, we were here, standing here, and you were having a conversation. Oh. Yeah, so you maybe need to bend the room. I wasn't with you until then. Yeah. And then that got me. Yeah. Did they give you anything? No, I had to pay $100 for me and my brother to get on another flight. And when you wrote and complained, they still didn't give you some onion rings or something? Nothing. It's not very nice of them. I've told them since. It's not very nice of them.

1:33:51Also, there's a, I guess this is an annual thing, San Diego County's Valentine's Day tradition on the Bay, where you can pay $100, get married, basically. You get a marriage license and a civil ceremony. Well, the guy that's, his first time doing it, county clerk, he says that he's now opening it to homosexual relationships if they want to renew their vows. Because as you, I'm sure, remember, there was a six-month period where you could. you know, have legal marriage. Well, he wants them to be accepted in this too. Yes, and they can renew their vows if they would like on Valentine's Day. Sweetly. What's going on in sports? Well, sports, Mike, is brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. The Texas Rangers have avoided arbitration with MVP of the American League, Josh Hamilton. He signed a two-year, $24 million deal. Dads, get bats in your kids' hands as soon as possible. He got a $3 million signing bonus. $7.25 million salary this year and $13.75 million salary in 2012. Wow. I know. And also, Padres fans, great time of year. Pitchers and catchers report on Sunday.

1:34:59First workout is Monday. The full squad will report on February 18th, and their first workout is February 19th. Opening day will be March 31st at St. Louis at 115 home opener against the Giants, the world champion Giants, April 5th at 3.35 p.m., and I will be there. Wow. There it is. Movie plot hot potato time. Come on in here, Jay. Loser takes a BB. Don't do this at home, kids. We're professionals. This is... M1 Chris from San Diego, who are you going to take? Jay. Uncle Jay, you've got it. Hang on. Good move, pal. And next up is M1 Jennifer from Poway. You've got Woods. Awesome. All right, hang on. The way that we play the game, 60 seconds. Jay and Woods will go back and forth, and they will describe a movie plot to me, and they will toss a deodorant canister back and forth. Yeah, because we can't find the ball. Really? It's blue. The first time Jay had that problem. Of course Chris knows. Here we go. Ah, there's the ball. It's supercrossed. Supercrossed. Supercrossed. They will toss this ball back and forth between each other, and the one that is holding it at the end of the 60 seconds is the loser and must take a bullet. A BB. To the boys. Ready? Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Paul Thomas Anderson directed his film about porn. Boogie Nights.

1:36:24Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey. Thank you. The Coen Brothers just remade this movie. It's a Western. True Grit. Keanu Reeves. It's a futuristic. The Matrix. Tom Hanks is stranded on an island. The Castaway. The Hills Are Alive with this. The Hills Are Alive. Oh, Sound of Music. Thank you. Marty McFly gets in the DeLorean. Back to the Future. Beatles' only movie. Let It Be. No, it's kind of a comedy about them. It's not soft, I can tell you that much. A Hard Day's Night. Thank you. Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, they all get detention. Breakfast Club. The first rule of this is you don't talk about it. Fight Club. Macaulay Culkin gets left by his parents. Home alone. Scent of a Woman. Oh no, you're out. I don't know! I'll take it. You just threw the ball down. You never do that good.

1:37:25Jay goes, give me six movies. I go, you got it, pal. You told me to come up with six, and I came up with eight, and he went through all eight last night. Holy cow, you're getting better, dude. You're getting way better. I get nervous. I get real nervous. I'm going to take a BB to the testicles, so I'm very nervous. Oh, wow. He's a good aim with that BB gun. Don't try this at home, kids. He's been firing that since the Civil War. That's right. That's when he got it in the Civil War. All right, here we go. Woods is putting a... Oh, wow. Wow. That was a good shot. Where is he? All righty. Got him right in the righty. Oh, my God. Oh, man. That stung. Oh, yeah. Wiener time. Oh, that stung. Wow. He's walking funny. That stung. I wish we had videotaped that. I wish we had videotaped that. We have breaking news. Yes. The president of Egypt, Hosni Mubarak, has stepped down as president. This is live right now. Breaking news. Absolutely vital region. History. Yes. A lot of Arab leaders who are looking at this with absolute terror. People are just going nuts. What has happened here? That a leader.

1:38:54of 30 years was pushed aside by under just under three weeks of popular demonstrations and this will undoubtedly take to the streets more people to organize in police states and to show that they can challenge the regime they can challenge the secret police they can challenge decades of corruption and nepotism if egypt falls many people predicted that other countries would go and tonight Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has fallen. And I want to show our viewers this statement from Suleiman, appointed recently number two under Mubarak, came on Egyptian television after a brief computer animation opening segment. Again, it was so short. All of those watching, our own Richard... Took the World Cup. I know, it was so many people. ...thought they must have been seeing a portion of it. But we want to replay that. This is the statement that started the uproar in Tahrir Square. Let's listen. In the name of Allah, the most gracious, most merciful, my fellow citizens, at these hard circumstances.

1:40:13Our country is experiencing. President Mohamed Hosni Mubarak has decided to waive the office of the president of the republic and instructed the Supreme Council of the armed forces to run the affairs of the country. May God guide our steps. And that was it. So here's my question. You know, in our country, the vice president, He's pretty much got the same philosophies as the president. So is it different there? Is this new guy just going to be the same business as usual? I don't know. Didn't he just say that they said that the division of the armed forces is now going to be running the country's affairs? So that wouldn't be him. I've read so many things that say the vice president would, but that is what they just said. And that's him.

1:41:11And he wasn't like, all right, I'm glad to be here. I'm really excited about getting started. And, you know, it's a bummer the old guy left, but I got this. Right. You know, he was like, hey, sad day. He's gone. And the armed forces division is going to be taken over. Yeah. The first thing that we will do is we have instructed for round table pizza to start the franchise. Here in Cairo, next week, we will allow the Starbucks and the Walmart, with the exclusion of Super Walmart, to begin construction in Cairo. Thank you. That's amazing. They built tents out there. Oh, yeah.

1:42:11It's a big party. Not really a party, but a big party scene. When we look back at this, we're going to say, what were you doing when that happened? When it happened. I was shooting woods in the testicle. Actually, you didn't get me in either testicle, and I'll leave it at that. All right. Use your head. That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I promise. That is what you meant. That is not what I meant. What did you mean? Use your head. I meant think about it. Think about it. If you think about it, you'll then realize where it got me. Do you think that the protest area has the faint smell of BO? Of urine? Urine. Maybe a little bit. They've only been out there three weeks. Oh, my gosh. I was just thinking, does somebody go get supplies? Yeah, they're like, hey, I'm going to go take a shower. Can you hold my spot? And then when I get back, you go shower. Or, hey, I'm going to pee-pee. Can you keep my spot here? Because I want to protest more, but I need to urinate. Will you go? Are you leaving? I'm about to, but I will stay if you need. I'm going to go take a shower. Are you going to the store? I was going to, but... Go now. I'll wait. Bring me a Sprite, and then I go to the shower, and then you stay. Well, happy birthday, pal. I got like...

1:43:35Well, hang on, hang on. It's going to be like this? Why don't you give me a Sprite? I want a Sprite. If they have this nickel installment, get me that, too. Why don't you give me your Henry's List, too, and I get up? Don't be a smartass. I'm just as tired as you are. I've been here for three weeks. Right, maybe. Oh, okay. My cab is not running. Okay, I'm losing money. I tell you what. How about I give you the money, and you go to get. I'm taking a shower. I need a dipper. A dipper? I need to spit. Spit on the ground with the urine. I need... Urine. Of course I will not do that. That is disgusting. I want a freaking Sprite. Yeah. Can anybody get me a Sprite around here? Do they have Red Bull? And for goodness sake, can somebody put some clothes on that person's baby that is running around? Running around in the urine. My goodness, how disgusting the baby running around in diaper. What is the matter with you? You're like Egyptian trash. You're E.T. You're E.T. Baby! Baby! As long as you're going to the car, can you get me a Budweiser?

1:44:58Don't put the breeches back on the baby. In the back seat, there is a cooler. It has kebab and falafel inside. Bring it to me. And the Wonder Bread with the goobers. I'll eat the goobers with my fingers. Freaking cares. Oh, my God. People are losing their minds on this TV. They're going crazy. They're going nuts. Change that all started on Facebook. So what do they do tomorrow? They're like... Sleep. Yeah, now what? What do you guys want to do? Let's go protest something else. Let's go to Denny's. Let's protest something else. This is the greatest day of my life. If we did this, we could get happy days back on the app. Savannah Guthrie, our White House correspondent, is also with us. Savannah, it's been said all along. I think she's the only Savannah in Cairo. Look at that guy. He's got a Mets hat on. I love Carlos Beltran. Carlos Beltran. Is that other governments have been watching so closely how the U.S. would deal with a long time. Yeah, how did we deal with it?

1:46:18This brings great attention. I don't think so. Obama tried to step in and say, I think you should step down. You should do something. Use your freaking head. See, he's got a four-year-old there on their shoulders. The four-year-old's like, really with this? The audience is here, and that's why you said. The administration walked this line so carefully on the one hand. Hey, Dad, how about you, Gabba Gabba? Instead, I got to be outside. It's 12 o'clock at night, still 107 here in Cairo. ...to hector him out the door. But yesterday, with that written statement, after Mubarak came, actually wrapped up this giving of power away in very defiant language and confused everybody, the administration had its clearest break yet. The point of no return, as one person put it to me. This guy's got a, this guy in Egypt. My Blackberry. This is Blackberry, huh? Nicer than mine. He's taking pictures. It's exactly like mine. Yeah, except instead of A, B, C, it's all like Egyptian, you know, cryptic sort of. Iroglyphids. Iroglyphids. As you say, for three decades.

1:47:23Mubarak has not allowed moderate parties to rise up and flourish. So while the administration wants to see free and fair elections, they're also mindful of other examples. What I want to know is at what point do they, you know, because it's a mob. I mean, there's probably 100,000 people there in this square. Wow. So how do they decide? All right. Well, I guess we go home now. Yeah. Like, how does that happen? What are you going after this? I don't know. I'm tired, man. I heard Daddy's having people over to his house if you want to go. I will go, but I'm tired. I'm tired, too, but we celebrate tonight. You got any, Jack? I got Jack. Okay, let's go. Okay, let's go. I will go. You got anything to eat? Not very much. Gosh, I do. My kingdom for the Beatles. I think those guys are going to be blasting any slaughter on the way back to the house. Probably doubt it. Probably not, right? Flight of the Angels. Probably not going to be listening to Warrant. Any of those guys have ever heard Warrant? Nope. Yeah. No way. I think Cherry Pie was a big hit. Heaven is too far away.

1:48:34A closer to it every day. It doesn't matter what my friends might say. A boy make a big noise playing in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face. You big disgrace. Kicking your can all over the place. Sing it. We will, we will rock you. We will, we will rock you. Buddy, you're a young man, hard man, shouting in the street, gonna take on the world. You've got blood on your face, you big disgrace, waving your banner all over the place. Sing it. We will, we will rock you. Sing it. We will, we will rock you. Love that. It's the greatest. I love it. It's the greatest. Buddy, you're a young man. Buddy.

1:49:34I got an email for you and people calling this. Hey, Mike, so bummed. I actually had to do one of the worst things ever. I had to fire my best friend. We started the company at the same time, as a matter of fact, and he helped me get the job. I've worked my way up in the ranks a lot faster than him, and now my boss is making me do all the cutbacks in the company. I don't even really like the job, but what choice do I have? Any advice on how I should handle it? It has to go down today before noon. Thanks, M1 Popper. I had to iron fire Tommy three times. We know Garrett. Should we get Garrett on the line? Garrett! I don't know. Anybody ever had to fire their best friend? Not my best friend, but I definitely fired friends. You had to fire friends? Mm-hmm. But you became friends with them after you hired them. Yes. That's tough. This guy, he said his friend got him the job in the first place, and then he worked his way up higher. Yeah. I would just say, I can't do it. I couldn't do it. Really? You have to. I would almost rather do it than have the boss do it. Oh, no way. You guys don't get it. It's kind of fun. No. I take pleasure in it. Listen.

1:51:01The second time wasn't as fun as the first time with Tommy, but the third time was pretty darn fun. He's working for me now. I can tell the story. But let me tell you, that second time, no fun at all. First time, I was so drunk I barely remember. I've never had to fire a friend before, but I have been. I started in recruiting at my old company after two of my best buddies already worked there, and I got promoted ahead of them. And that wasn't fun at all. They were like, freaking guy comes in here, gets promoted above us, we got him back here. You ever get fired and cry? I've never been fired, knock on wood. You haven't? Oh. You haven't been in radio yet. I was in radio. Wasn't on air. Wasn't on air. Yeah. If you're on air, you get hired and fired multiple times. All the time. Are you implying, Mike, that you have in fact been fired and cried? I'm sorry, I can't hear you because... Did you push play right away? Because I pushed play right away. San Luis Obispo, Sly 96 FM, had the job for two months. First morning job of my life. No way. I had no idea it was coming. Ever been there? I had no idea that it was coming. Went into his office and he said, we're replacing you with Mark and Brian's syndicated satellite. Wow. And I go, when? And he said, this was a Friday morning after my show. He goes, Monday.

1:52:27No goodbye to your audience, no nothing. No, they never let you do that. Wow, that was it. Wow, that sucks. Ever had to fire a best friend? Ever had to fire a friend? 5701949. And if you didn't hear, President Mubarak in Egypt has stepped down. Wow. Make some noise in here with our live studio audience. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Cheap Trick. You're it. Heaven Tonight. Cheap Trick's album, Heaven Tonight. tonight. Don't forget, you're looking for a high-end gift. PortraitPrince.net. That's our friend Jared's company. Credited with the Better Business Bureau and he's got a special offer. He will frame your portrait, no matter what the size is, for free. It can be up to a $95 value and all you need to do is type Mikey as the promotional code when you order the portrait. And again, the website is PortraitPrince.net.

1:53:51And a very cool deal. And man, are they rad. He takes a picture, makes it look like a painting. And his frames are awesome. They're really, really nice frames. I know a guy one time named Tommy. He used to shine your shoes, make them look like mirrors. That's right. Spitshine Tommy. Spitshine Tommy. Maybe I've been married. You've been away a long time. I've been away a long time. I don't shine shoes anymore. Hey. What's the matter with you? I'm just breaking balls. Breaking balls over here. Just got out. Didn't know. I know. It's just I don't shine so many shoes anymore. You're a lot of people around, you know. It's all right. Yeah, it's all right. It's all right. Let's go get your shine box. Tell me I want to break your balls until you go home and get your shine box. I have to see it today. It's the best. That's Goodfellas, everybody. Goodfellas. The greatest movie ever. Do women not like it? Lauren and I just looked at each other like, no clue. Yeah, women not like it. Just don't know what you're talking about half the time. Do women not? How could you not? De Niro, Pacino. No, it's a good movie. I just don't have it memorized. Yeah, but I bet you got, I don't know. Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. Devil Wears Prada. Devil Wears Prada. No, I've never seen that movie. Do you know me by now? That's true. I do. Let's see.

1:55:08Meet and greet tonight. We do want to meet you and you can and come out tonight. Be there from 5 to 7 so you can get off work. Come see us. East Village Tavern and Bowl on Market Street downtown. Happy Hour Prices. Jay is going to be singing Marvin Gaye tonight. Jay just calls him Marvin. Marv. He's going to be singing Let's Get It On. I can't wait. People can slow dance to it. Oh, my gosh. How great is that? Singles thing. You know, you go out there. If you're single, put a wristband on you. Scarlet letter. Scarlet letter. It'll just brand your forehead. Either or. So it should be cool. We want to see you. Don't know what I'm going to wear. Me either. I just wear wearing brown. That's sharp. You guys ever stress more than the girls about what you're wearing? I know. That's a sharp shirt. You should wear that. You should wear this. He's wearing a nice button up right now. Chances I wear a pearl snap? 100%. You can wear your pink one. Probably my pink one. It's Valentine's Day. I thought you were going to wear your white pants. Oh, come on. You said you were going to wear white pants. I didn't say I was wearing them in the meet and greet, did I? Yeah, you did. But you don't need to. It looks really sharp. I do. I want to see you pull off white pants. It's too big on you. I can pull off white pants. It's too big on you. They're not. I want to see you wear those white pants. I'll wear them. They're badass. Will you put on some top-siders with them? Some boat shoes? No, I'll wear flip-flops with them.

1:56:33What kind of white pants are these? They're too big on them, Sienna. No, they're not. They are. You bought them from Christopher Cross, didn't you? Yeah. You've seen the white pants? Yeah. You were on maternity leave. Yeah, they're badass. They're badass. They're not too big for me. I'll be the judge. No, I don't like Sienna. Sienna, I think there's a lot of words that you can use to describe the pants. Badass. Badass. Not one of them. Probably not one of them. Actually, not one of them. Two of them. Bad ass. Bad ass. I want some Chardonnay so bad right now. Just fiending for some Chardonnay. And a windbreaker. Some shrimp and white wine. That is such a good spot. It's not far to never, never live. Since we're in the mood. Sexy, isn't it? Very. Extremely. You know, tonight is really about Jay. So I don't want to steal any of this time. No, steal away, please. Some of them are jeans and boots and a pearl snap. Fine. And a PHC. Are you getting a haircut today? No. It's just PHC. It's just perfect. So it's a perfect haircut. It's on point. Although haircut's just one word.

1:58:55New movies out today, Sienna. Fantastic. Well, I'm actually looking on the TV right now and Adam Sandler is on. It's like, you know, he's just to the point now where he doesn't care anymore. He never has. He has like scruff on his face. He's wearing a sweatshirt and jeans in this interview. With his white socks and tennis shoes. He just doesn't care. What was I supposed to do? There was once a day where he's like, I got to. look sharp you know now he's like he's in a fleece a fleece from like old navy i'm i'm kind of tired of looking sharp yeah well his new movie just go with it it comes out today that's one with jennifer jennifer aniston nicole kidman brooklyn decker number one Yes. It's going to do really well. And this is the movie that they were filming when you were in Hawaii, right, Mike? Yeah, we were in Hawaii and he was staying at the same hotel that we were staying at. And his room was $14,000 a night. We asked. That's it? We said, how much for that room? It takes up the whole top floor. How much for the Sandler? Yeah. $14,000. We were getting in the elevator and they were bringing this big cart.

2:00:16full of these beautiful tropical flowers and as part of that room they refresh the flowers every day take the old ones out even though there's nothing wrong with them they're still beautiful and they put these new fresh flowers in there every day and they bring them in a giant cart the room has its own that this $14,000 room has its own library it's got a telescope you know they've got it's beautiful amazing so we were getting in the elevator and the lady rolls up the cart and Knocks on the door. And as our elevator doors were closing, he opened the door. Oh, my God. And we heard him go, hello. Of course. And I go to my wife. I go, really? With a voice? Of course. And she goes. I think he talks like that. It's just him, yeah. It's just the way he talks. It's like me. When I'm out in public, I talk the way I talk on the radio. Yeah. Don't compare yourself to that. I'm not comparing yourself. You guys have so much in common. I think I might be funnier, actually. Staying at 14,000 little rooms. Yeah, I think I might be funnier. No! I was walking... I was walking by... I was walking through their little... They had a little game room or something.

2:01:29And he had his daughter with him, and he had his daughter up on the pool table, and he was letting her walk on the pool table. And I walked through, and I saw him, and I go, and I instinctively waved. Because my mind went, oh, I know that guy. And then I kept walking, and I went, oh my gosh, that's Adam Sandler. But it looks like somebody you know. I did at the Usher. You did? Weird. Yeah. What's up? You're like, well, I made out with him. No, I just was like, oh, hey, what's up? And then afterwards I was like, oh, that was... Oh, sure. Yeah. I thought it was the guy I went to high school with. So I keep walking and I'm going to... I go to this little area where I'm making my own cologne. Weird. Moment of silence. I think we have it. Don't you have it here? Just think about that. I think you do. I'll get it. You have it here? What? M by Mike Esparza. Right? Me. And me. And so... But I'm all woman. So I see him. And all I said to him was, Hi, Adam. You guys on the first name basis? What up, A-Dog? What are you supposed to say? Hello, Mr. Sandler. No, you walk up and say, Hey, I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan. Not like, What up, Adam?

2:02:53I said, hi, Adam. Wow. You said Olaf. It might have been refreshing because people probably always say, I'm a big fan. Yeah. Let me smell it. Wood's brought in the tiny, tiny quarter-sized model. I said, hi, Adam. And he goes, oh, hey, how you doing? It's the most foul smell. Maybe he wasn't sure if he knew you. Or if you were one of the landscapers or something like that. No! Hey, since you're here, can you cut the lawn one more time? I know you. That's disgusting. It's hideous, Mike. The first time, I think it's gone bad. No, it's always smelled like that. No, it wasn't that bad before. Dude, I'm being completely honest with you. This is awful, and it didn't smell awful. That smells like Stetson, okay? No. Stetson smells better than that. Can I smell it so I can judge you? Yeah. Here's a scene from the movie. Just go with it with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler. I am so sorry. Please, honey. It is fine. I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding. He's got a serious small issue with E.D. What's E.D.? Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're 15.

2:04:17erectile dysfunction, my darling. And it's, think about it as if you're trying to throw darts and you just, all you really got, you're shooting with like overcooked spaghetti. Man, I feel so bad. I could never date an actor. His wife. Has to see him with Brooklyn Decker. She's ungodly hot. Her body is amazing. Yeah. What is this film's plot? He is a scumbag, and I guess he wears a wedding ring to meet girls. And so he meets Brooklyn Decker, and he's like, oh, man, there you go. I'll read it to you. I'll just go off my screen. Yeah, just get out of here. All right. Okay. He's a plastic surgeon, Adam Sandler, and he is trying to romance a younger woman who is Brooklyn. Brooklyn Decker. Now he asks his loyal assistant, who's Jennifer Aniston, to pretend to be his soon-to-be ex-wife in order to cover up the lie that he is married because he had a wedding ring on to try to get Brooklyn Decker.

2:05:27Then there's more. The kid, the assistant has kids and now kids are involved and it's just all a scheme to try to get Brooklyn Decker. Wow. So it becomes this elaborate plot and he says, just go with it. Just go with it. Yeah. Yeah. Go with it. Just go with it. Just go. Go with it. Now. Go ahead. Also out. Wait a minute. Sandler is going to sing a song. Just go with it. Just go with it. Maybe we just go with it. Let me get my car. Here we go. I hope you like it. I just wrote it. I hope that you'll go with something. So why not go with this? And if you want to go with something, then I hope you go with it one more time. I hope you go with it. So, Sandler, you ever just play guitar and make words? Seems to work for him, you know? I'm looking at myself right now. I'm like, really? You weren't this tough when you met him at...

2:07:09Hawaii, where are you? Hey, what's up, Adam? Hi, Adam. I love you. I'm taking, I took a picture. No. Of my screen. No, no, no. I took a picture of my laptop because when I was signing onto the wireless, you could see all the wireless connections. That's right. And his said, Adam Sandler. And I was like, you gotta be kidding me. I don't need a fake name or anything like that. It says Adam Sandler? I did just see him setting up his wireless, and he's like, oh, here we go. I don't know. Ah, here's my name. Oh, here it goes. What's the passion? Happy Madison. Hello, is this the fun dance? Yes. I'm trying to sign on to your internet. Mr. Sandler, it's $14.95 a day. 14 what? $14.95 a day. Did you say $14.95 a day? Mr. Sandler, we're very busy. It's $14.95 a day. I'm just kidding around. Should I charge it to the room? You can charge it to the room. Just go ahead and do that. There is a password required, sir. What you do is you put in this password. I have a question for it. Is the password Mr. Fartypatch?

2:08:36The password is Mahalo, and then you can change it to... I could change it to Farty Pants. You're so inclined to change it to Farty Pants, you may. Hey, I have a question for you. Can I change it to... It's M-A-H-H-A-L... It's M-A-H-A-L-O. M-A-H-A-L-O. It's M-A-H-A-L-O. It's M-A-H-A-L-O. That's absolutely how it went. Actual audio. Absolutely. Actual audio. So Adam Sandler's movie, Just Go With It, is obviously out today. Mike. Yes? You're going to be really excited about this one. Why?

2:09:37Guess what's out? What? Justin Bieber, Never Say Never. Oh, boy. There's a scene for him. It's a musical? Well, it's a documentary biography. And from the previews, it makes it seem like it shows him as a kid playing the guitar. He's 15. You guys, I'll watch a documentary on grass growing. It's like a concert video, I think. No, it's not. It shows him like, well, I think there's concert footage, but it shows him as a kid, you know, like this is my dream. He's still a kid. He's a kid. Playing the guitar. He's playing the drums. He's doing performances on the street, you know, and now look where he is. You know every teenage girl is going to go see it. Yeah. That's why they're doing it. If they geared it towards teenage kid, I probably won't like it. His life story. Probably won't like it. His 15-year life story. His 15-year odyssey really is what it's been. Oh, boy. Well, I do think it's an interesting story that a regular kid was on YouTube and got discovered. Oh, yeah. That's interesting. But does it warrant a feature film?

2:10:44It's kind of cool because, I mean, it showed him as a young kid performing on the street to being like this crazy superstar overnight. Tay Zonday doesn't have a feature film. You know, Chocolate Rain guy. Okay, but... And that's way better than the Justin Bieber song. Chocolate Rain didn't sell 80 billion records. But it was viewed 80 billion times. Yeah, but it didn't sell 80 billion records. But it's funnier. It's better. It's better. Hey, listen. It's better. There's a film nominated for Best Picture about a nerd that created a social site that we're all on. You know, they made a movie out of that. Yeah, but that has 500 million, over 500 million users. Well, yo girl, I slept with 500 million women already. You sure? You sleep with your mom in the same bed. My mom's be in the next hotel room now, but... Justin, why are you talking like that? Like what? Like an adult black man. Because I is. I is one. You have a tough life? Life is tough, man. We be on the road. I be in buses. You're a white kid with straight hair. So you say. It's Sandy Blonde. What do you know? Tom Brady be copying my haircut. Her. Did you just say that Tom Brady be copying your haircut? Did you say that? Did I stutter?

2:12:03Did I stutter? No, you didn't. I just thought it was unusual. You said her cut. That's how I talk. Who's his valentine this year? My mom's is my valentine. My mom's is my valentine. I got one valentine and it's my mom's. Is that true? That's true. All the women in the world, you're picking your mom's? That's right. Just a bunch of skanks. Is that because she wouldn't allow you to have a valentine and you decided that as long as you couldn't have one, you would have her be your valentine? I got several hundred thousand valentines, but the one that means the most is my mom's. And what I think I'm going to do, I'm going to get a huge basket. This is true. And I'm going to find a lot of cool stuff to put in it. She's always be traveling and losing stuff, you know. So I'm going to get the stuff she loves. Justin Bieber. I'll get her flowers and I'll take her to lunch. Justin Bieber. That's ridiculous. What? Well, first of all, that she's your valentine. Second of all, that you're talking about. I love my moms. She's going to be losing stuff all the time. You have more than one mom? She's my mom. That's what I said. My mom. That's my mom. All right. Just one mom. Thank you. She'd be losing stuff. I'd be filling the basket. Oh, my gosh. Thank you, Justin Bieber. You're welcome. That's true, by the way. Justin Bieber really did say he was going to get basket stuff that she loses. We took a poll of people on our Facebook page.

2:13:22There's a couple more movies really quick. Oh, yeah. The Eagle with Channing Tatum and Gnomeo and Juliet. Oh, good. Gnomeo and Juliet. Gnomeo and Juliet looks good. Gnomeo and Juliet. It's animated. Is it a gnome? It's a cartoon about gnomes. It's adorable. That's James McAvoy, Emily Blunt. Rebecca just calls that Valentine's Day. Gnomeo, your kids are going to like it. Yeah. It's really sweet. We took a poll of our Facebook fans. What restaurants are the coolest restaurants to go to for Valentine's Day? Old Venice in Point Loma, Jake's in Del Mar, West Steakhouse in Carlsbad, and the Marine Room in La Jolla. Nice. KFC's not on there. KFC's not. Neither is Chipotle, which I slayed yesterday. Delicious. The Pote. The Pote. Flower Shop. They get you through that line at Chipotle in about four seconds. Because it's 70 deep when you walk in every time. It takes about four seconds, though. They've got it down to a science. Flower Shops. Let's see. M1 Aaron says Rosemary Duff Florist. Now, is that any relation to Hilary Duff? Cousin. Rosemary Duff Florist. That's in North County. M1 Jim swears by Storm International Florist in Mission Hills.

2:14:47And let's see, M1 Alieta says Jolie Fleur in Del Mar. Just want to give you some Valentine's advice. On Monday, it'll be Valentine's Day. And so for you guys that are listening right now, you have a lot of work to do. Yes, you do. How about you, L.O.B.? Have you done anything for your man? I have not yet, but I'm planning. Something will be done. All right. Excuse me. Try to think of the most iconic, speaking of Valentine's Day, try to think of the most iconic movie kisses of all time. Guess who else is going to be in here next? This is a cool idea for you married couples. In fact, Ladies, if you're listening to this, your husband will like this. Coming in, the boudoir divas. You want to get something for your husband? Why don't you get something for your husband? Do something for your husband. Take a photo. Take a picture. You're wearing a teddy. Wear it. Silky. Silky. Boudoir divas will be in next. Make some noise in here.

2:16:45You're a creep. He did it forever. You're a creep. Oh, he did it to Sienna yesterday. Try to think of the most iconic movie kisses of all time. We'll get to them in a minute. Oh, yeah. Sienna. Yeah. What's going on in news? Oh, gosh. I was distracted. Oh, wow. Well, if you're waiting for your driver's license, have you ordered or it was time for you to get another one? They're taking a really long time. In fact, like 90 days to get these new driver's licenses. Have you seen the new ones? Yeah, they're real different. They're crazy. They have, you know, raised signatures. The birth date images are raised. There's images only visible by ultraviolet light. I mean, a million crazier things. So if you're waiting for your ID, don't worry. It's coming. It's just taking a lot longer. And you ever just wing it? Oh, wow. Kid Rock. People are mad at Kid Rock right now. He posted a message on his website because he's supposed to be playing a show in Little Rock, Arkansas, and there's been crazy weather conditions, and so people...

2:17:47for their lives didn't want to go because the icy roads and stuff they wouldn't be able to make it but he said I'm still going to perform anyway and all the fans were really mad because like great you're going to perform we paid to go but we don't want to risk our lives to make it to the show you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't yeah and so he wrote on his on his website it's this simple if you bought tickets to tonight's show and you can't make it you will be getting a refund straight out of my pocket I've never ripped off any of my fans and I never will I also never miss a show Yeah, they were really hating on him. So, yeah, very good for him. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I guess there was some decent news for Barry Bonds yesterday. He will now face, instead of 11 felony charges at his perjury trial, he'll only face five. He's charged with four counts of lying, one count of obstructing justice about his use of performance-enhancing drugs. His trial, like I said, is set for March 21st. And, guys, the NFL labor talks are getting gnarly. As I told you yesterday, They didn't even meet. They canceled the meeting because they'd come to an impasse. They were talking to ESPN's Chris Mortensen about the situation. Here's what he had to say. Yesterday, Wednesday in Washington, D.C., when they met, a written proposal had already been sent forth by the Players Union to the owners in terms of their response to the owner's request for these reductions and these credits to come off the top. And there was a basic, I would say, disagreement and misinterpretation of what the...

2:19:13Players' union proposal was, and when they realized there was a basic disagreement, they couldn't go, forget first base, they couldn't get halfway to first base. And so essentially they shut the talks down. So all you hear about 18-game seasons and rookie wage skills and what have you, you can forget that. They cannot agree on how they're going to solve the split of this revenue pie. And the union really wants more financial transparency to justify what the owners are asking. In an industry where the union believes the pie is... Still growing because of TV revenues. Owners, man, will get you. What's the deal? They want a lot more money. And they're telling the players, we want more money and you have to take a 15% to 18% pay cut for the next two years. And the players are saying, we know you clowns are getting more money. We want you to open your books. We want to see the TV revenues that you guys make. And they're like, absolutely not. But we want more money. Dude, it's gnarly. And all the stuff that's on the schedule and on the... On the docket list, like the 18-game season, the rookie wage scale, it doesn't even matter. The draft, it doesn't even matter until they figure out how they're going to share this money. We're not going to be watching football. I don't think we're going to be watching football. They said this is the most severe chance for a lockout that there's ever been. Dang. I do not believe we will be watching football in August. I don't think so either, man. And they are at an impasse. Oh, well.

2:20:38What are we going to do? So, hey, this is a pretty cool thing. If you do not have anything going on tonight and you're single, you might want to go down to the East Village Tavern in Bull where we're going to be for our meet and greet, meeting listeners. If you're single, it's a great thing to do because it's really a Valentine's meet and greet for singles. But if you're a couple, you can come down to. It's 5 to 7 a night. Happy Hour Prices, Jay singing karaoke. It's going to be a real good time. And so, you know, we invite people to come down and do this. It's going to be good. Yeah, sign me up for that. There you go. In the studio with us right now, we have something kind of cool. If you are, ladies, if you're thinking of getting something for your husband for Valentine's Day and you've run out of ideas, this is one that maybe you haven't tried yet. the boudoir pictures. And we have the boudoir divas in here right now. Go ahead and pull that microphone up. Hi. Hi. How are you? So let me get names. Go ahead. Kimberly West. Marissa Boucher. Kimberly and Marissa? Yeah. Okay, cool. And so what do you guys do for the company? Well, we're the owners and we're also photographers, but there's five staff photographers and we've got an awesome team.

2:21:59And we've got a studio in Sereno Valley. It's 4,500 square feet, and we call it like the Disneyland of all boudoir studios. So it's really an awesome experience. Girls come in, and we treat them like a supermodel for the day. Well, see, I think that dudes, like a husband, I saw these pictures, okay, of what it looks like. And I'm like, Rebecca. Right? That's the same thing I thought. That's exactly what it's for. Whoa, Jay. Whoa, Jay. I missed that. He said that he thought the same thing because he's creepy. Anyway, so you have all this space. And what's in there? uh, sets kind of deal. Yeah. We have 17 different sets. So whatever the girl wants to go for either, um, like super soft and kind of.

2:22:48Sultry all the way to Maxim Magazine. Really sexy. Really? Just depending on what you want. We have some outfits, yeah. Costumes. Yeah, what's the procedure? I call you and I'm kind of shy and I don't know what. So I go, hi. Listen, I'm thinking about doing this for my husband, but... I don't know. I just don't know if my body's right for this. And that's just exactly what our clients sound like, too. Yeah. And so what do you say? That's what every girl says. I mean, it doesn't matter if she looks like a model. She still kind of thinks that in her head sometimes. I mean, not every girl, but a majority of them. And so it's really for girls to kind of build their self-esteem. And so that's even from the beginning of the booking process, we're talking them through and helping them know that they don't have to feel like a model in order to look like one, but they're going to look like one in the images afterwards. Does it make you at all uncomfortable?

2:23:45Woods is kind of creeping through all the materials. I'm just very interested in this product. Is that our copy? Oh, wow. We'll just hang on to these. For research? So, what... Do you talk about price? Can we talk about that? Or do you not want to talk about that? Yeah, sure. Whatever. We have a huge range. So we have a package that starts at like $220 for just a simple set. It comes with one image. That's kind of our Valentine's Day special. It ranges all the way up to $2,400 if you want to go for the whole shebang. That includes a video, an album, and four different looks, four different outfits. Okay, so here's the question. If I'm a husband. And I get this because I would love to see my wife in one of these things. Yeah. But where do I put it?

2:24:36You know, that's a question we get a lot. I'm not going to hang this in the foyer. At our Super Bowl party, everybody's walking in and they're like, uh-oh. Under your mattress, obviously, is where you put it. There's space on the wall behind you. We hear all kinds of different answers on that. We could take down that 94.9 right there. From hiding it from the kids in the closet somewhere to other moms say, you know, I'm just going to have it in my bedroom. If my kids stumble across it, they're just going to know that it's an example of the romantic relationship. their parents have together, and that's a good example. So I've heard, like, both ends of the spectrum. And what they do is really classy, too. It's not like... Well, it is. It's more like Victoria's Secret, you know? And it does. What you guys brought in looks like Victoria's Secret catalog, or it looks even... Some of them even look better than that. Some of them look like Vogue magazine. Let me take another look. But I still don't feel satiated in my question. Because I don't want to put the... I don't want to put it in the closet. But this is something you would have forever to always look back on like, man, you could be like 75 and be like, look how hot you were. Good thing we documented this. Good thing we documented this. Maybe I could put it on the sink.

2:25:50in my bathroom. Like, seriously. Yeah, well, some people get enlargements for their bathroom because that's a private room for their master bath. No one's really going in there that should be a walk-in closet. It's a good spot. And to be honest, I think it's more important for a girl to be able to look through it. Yeah. I did it. I told you. I've done it before. I don't have an album or anything like that. Do you have a picture? I have a few pictures. So Todd has seen these. Yes, of course, Todd has seen these. Now, what are you doing? Is there a theme? The old morning show I was on, we had some girls come in and do this too. And they were like, I need to take pictures of you. We have all the outfits and everything. Just put it on. You're only going to look like this for, you know, you want to look at it when you're older in life. And so I was like, okay. And so I did it and I got dressed up and they gave me some of the pictures and I have the pictures. I know, but was there a theme? Like it wasn't Wild West or something? No, I just wore black lingerie. We're not at Six Flags, dude. I'm classy in the Wild West. I don't know. You just put on some sexy lingerie. It's just whatever you're comfortable in or feel good in. It's just a sexy dress. It doesn't have to be. I'm very glad I did it, too, especially before I had kids. But it's something like, if you ever are like, well, maybe I would do it, do it. I mean, it's worth it.

2:27:16You have to frame it in your house. Listen, what about this? My wife would love to see me in lingerie and have me do a boudoir shooting. So, you know, do you also offer this for fat, short Mexican men? You know, because what I would like to do... How do you answer that? I'd like to do... I would like to be on the back of a burrow, okay? You have to supply the burrow. I'd like to be on a burrow. I'd like to have on a serape, okay? And I would like to be... Sombrero. With a seductive sombrero. My wife would just go crazy. I wouldn't give anything to see that. Maybe. Me too. Let's do that. Yeah. We can make that happen. That's great. I think this would be an awesome gift for a husband to give his wife or a boy. But wouldn't she? Isn't that like giving your wife lingerie? It's like. Because you're like.

2:28:11Hey, wear this. Who doesn't like that? Well, I think if you're married, you can kind of read your wife and know if she'll take it that way. It's so flattering to be like, I want to see pictures of you like this. The girl would be like, really? Yeah. All right. And, you know, if you have any imperfections, I'm sure they'll make those go away. Is that what you guys do? Can you do that? Well, we don't use a lot of Photoshop at all. It's all good lighting and good poses. And then we soften the skin a little bit, maybe remove blemishes. But there's not a lot of like reworking someone's body or anything. You wouldn't cut that right out. The gullet? Double chin. Sienna. Yeah. Don't be. scared to answer this question just because the ladies are sitting next to you i want to know your real honest thought if todd got you that would you be like what are you doing no i would be flattered you would yeah i would be like i'm not gonna do that i wouldn't do it now but i would want to do it you know maybe a little bit later since i just had a baby but uh no i would want to and i honestly i think that if in your mind you know that

2:29:16I could do this and it's something that I'm even at the least bit interested in, do it. Yeah. Because you're going to want it later and no one ever has to see them but you, you know? Yeah. And I think like I'm glad I have them. Yeah. I don't like look at them all the time but they're, you know. I don't even want to say we're there. Does Todd? Yeah, he sees him. In 20 years, Sienna, you'll be like, how did I ever complain about that? I know. I was perfect. Oh, yeah. I should probably look through this one more time. Such a creep. All right, so how do... Either men or women, you know, guys, if they want to have their wives take some pictures or if women want to do pictures for their husbands, how do they get a hold of you? Well, we're totally sold out for Valentine's Day, unfortunately, for a girl to get in to have a shoot done. But we've got gift cards for guys to buy just on our site. They can pick them up at our studio and they come in a cute little box like this. And it's that 220 that includes a big print. So maybe a print for the bathroom or something like that. Yeah, they just go to our website.

2:30:17TheBoudoirDivas.com. You guys took those pictures? Yeah. Those are supermodels or regular girls? Regular clients. You know what's amazing about it? They look like the same quality of photograph like wedding pictures. Yeah. It's awesome. You know what I do? I pictured, and I'm just being honest with you, what I thought it would be like is, don't be offended. No, it's okay. That's exactly what we're kind of... I thought it was going to be like, what's that mall thing? Glamour shots. Exactly. That's what everyone says. I thought it was going to be like glamour shots. It's true. Their pictures, I mean, I'm going through them. way better than the ones that I got, too. They look like an editorial spread. I mean, like, I'm like, dang, I wish I had gone here, and I may. Well, we make these cool magazines, so, like, Maxim magazines, so, like, you, like, a girl can come in, get her pictures done, and then she gives a magazine to her husband, and he opens it, and he thinks it's Maxim, and then he's like, wait a second, because the pictures are that quality. That is awesome. I want my wife to do it.

2:31:32Yes. Yes, she should. She's gorgeous. I want my wife to do it. Okay. For sure. Right now, she's like, babe, no shaking her head. Let's see if she would even consider it. You want me to call her and ask her? Yes. Mike is calling her. That's awesome. Jay's like, I'll just save money and do it myself. Yeah. Mikey, I can do it. I've got a camera. I'll do it. Gosh. I'll set up the garage. Save you the money. Yeah. I'll build a set. I'll give you half off. Jay's camera is one of the kind they used in the 1900s, the early 1900s. Got the big flash. Pull the bulb yourself. Hello. Hello, my darling. Hi, sweetheart. Are you listening? Yeah, I... I had to take Jake into school, and then I heard kind of the last part of what you guys were talking about. Yes. So would you consider such a thing? You know, I absolutely would. I absolutely would. And I would love to do that for you. I would just like to lose it out.

2:32:47That's what every girl says. But if you know it's coming, then you'll prepare for it. It's like a wedding. You prepare for it. We tell people to book a shoot maybe a couple months out. And then if you do lose that 10 pounds, then great. But if you don't, if life happens, I think you're going to be amazed at how good you look. And it's a real amazing experience. We have testimonials all the time of girls that come in and just... You know, they feel kind of like they need to lose. I mean, usually it's a little bit more than 10 pounds. A lot of girls say 30 or something like that. But then they come in anyways and then they walk out thinking, why the heck did I think I needed to lose weight? Like, I look amazing. Guys like me a lot of times will be like, hey, I just need to lose 120 and I'll be ready for my shoe. Just need to lose a sophomore in high school. Yeah, I basically need to lose a small pony and then, you know, I'm fine. I come in there and take it. the hell out of some pictures. Babe, I think you will love what these pictures look like. They're gorgeous, Rebecca. They're rad. They really do look like magazines. They don't look cheap at all. They're really cool. Alright, hun, I love you. I don't like when Jay says I love you when we hang up. I said see you, sweetie. I said I love you.

2:34:11Creeps me out. When you say it, Woods, it doesn't bother me as much because I know you texted to her. I can't wait to see those pictures. Jake. I'm just saying. Will you show us some? No. That's a private gift. Would you show Mike Rebecca? Maybe you have Kim take some of these and we get to take a look at that. Who says we haven't already done it? I bet Kim's done it. We did it with my Polaroid. We did it with my webcam. She doesn't know about the pictures but they were taken. Oh my gosh. You're so disgusting. Wow. Sorry, Kim. You're such a creep. Hey, girl, I made you some lingerie. Now put it on and stand in the corner. Girl. I made it out of a screen.

2:35:14You ever had homemade lingerie? Don't worry about your splitters. Screen and electrical tape. Put it on. Yes, it's wooden lingerie. You don't have to keep inspecting it. Yes, it is. All right? It ain't going to cut too bad. I pieced together a bra out of pipe cleaners. Yes, I made you panties out of nickels. Yes, that's real floss. Get over it. Your good nickel panties. Girl, where's your nickel panties at? Yes, that's a handkerchief. Where are them nickel panties I made you? Those things are worth $1.75. Get them. Can't you count the nickels? More than that's been on iTunes. Did you know they won $1.25 for Grenade by Bruno Mars? $1.25? I can make you a pair of panties out of nickels for less than that. Then maybe that lingerie for more than that. Yeah, I can make you lingerie. I can make you longer eat for less money than that. Them iTunes people are at their minds. Yeah. Now, those two good-looking girls that came in about the bird drawer, about the boudoir, there ain't no way I'm going to pay $2.25. I can buy a house without that. That's what we paid for our house. We paid $2.25 for our house. $2.25 is such a good deal. It's a great deal. When I look at these pictures, I...

2:36:45I would spend a lot more than that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're rad. Okay, website. You got a website you want to give out? Yeah, theboudoirdivas.com. All right, now for somebody like Jay that can't spell boudoir, how do you spell boudoir? I can't spell boudoir. I barely can. B-O-U-D-O-I-R. B-O-U-D-O-I-R. Divas? Uh-huh. Dot com. I thought it was divas. The mood or divas? Divers. You're not the divas? Not the divas. I thought it was the divas. Color me embarrassed. Listen, I thought it was divas. I wonder what the heck it was. What's a diva? Like good diva? Go diva chocolate. Go diva chocolate. Thank you girls for coming in. Thank you so much for having us. And yeah. Bring your book. Is Katy Perry trying to sound like Pink? Yeah. Valentine's meet and greets tonight. Anybody here in the studio going to be able to come? Raise your hand if you're going to be able. Cool. There are some people here. You guys can go? I'll be there. Yes, you can. Who's got to work? You've got to work. Who's got to work? Quit. You guys coming? Your grandma's birthday? Bring her. Priorities. Priorities, yeah. Bring her. How's she look?

2:38:25Jay will sing Jordan. Oh, I know her. I went to high school with her. Let's see. She sounded my flair. It's a yearbook, Jay. It's called flair. A flair. A flair. Only Jay, dude. That's what we called it. Only Jay. And the pep squad. That is funny. Let's see. So the most iconic movie kisses of all time. Yes, I have the top ten according to this poll. May I guess? And they're good. Yeah, of course. We should guess. The Notebook? No. From Here to Eternity. Yes. What? Come on. From Here to Eternity is not on there. No. That's like the number one, wouldn't it be? Gone with the Wind? On the beach. Gone with the Wind is number one. I was going to say Gone with the Wind. It's weak. King Kong. Don't they make out? Boogie Nights. Jerry Maguire. No. No Boogie Nights?

2:39:23What was a romantic kiss? When he was doing the thing and he said, do you want me to use the Spanish accent now? That was pretty romantic. Dirty dancing. No. Now I'm mad at this list because you guys are giving out good ones. I'll tell you. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Don't even remember it. When Harry met Sally. Yeah, that's a good one. Pretty woman when she kissed him on the mouth for the first time. Oh, yeah. My heart just left. My heart left. So sweet because she was a prostitute. She said, I don't kiss on the mouth. And then he was sleeping and she fell in love. My heart left when that happened. The sweetest thing in the world is when a prostitute finally gets to the point where she'll kiss on the mouth. Yes, that's right. You know, the same touching scene happened in the movie Monster. Yes, yes. When she was cleaning out her pits with a brown paper. towel that was moist and she was rubbing her pits. You mean with powdered soap? Yeah, powdered soap and a moist brown paper towel. How bad does that wet brown paper towel smell? What is that smell? So gross. Are you cleaning your face with that? No, but after you dry your hands and it's wet, you can like smell it. Okay. I was wondering, how do you... No, it has a very distinct smell. Also, ghost.

2:40:47When he kisses, she kisses the... They don't really kiss. It's the CGI kiss. Titanic. Which one? I think it's... When she wouldn't get off the freaking door. She wouldn't share it. I'll never let go. Share the door. Hey chubs, maybe you get off the door and let the kid get up on there with you. Their first kiss. Freezing my balls off. Maybe get off the freaking door. Let me get on there. Hey, Chubbs, you got room on that door. You're a big girl, bud. There was room for three people. Hey, happy birthday. Happy birthday. They could have taken turns at least. Yeah. I don't know about you. That thing ain't very buoyant. He found it. She took it. Could have got two more people on that. I'm a buck 50 soaking wet. I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm three feet tall, 107 pounds. You don't let me on the freaking door? It's a freaking California king. It ain't a single. I think this scene is when they first kissed for the first time after he painted or drew her. Creepy scene. How gross is it when they're in the car?

2:41:52And it's all steamy. Oh, yeah. Ew. I know. The hands, the fingers. It's so gross. Oh, man. Just sweaty. It's like Patrick Ewing in there. Right. And it's 1912, so I'm sure deodorant was right. And grooming clippers, my friend, if you know what I mean. I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. It's okay, Mike. It's okay. Now, this next one, I'm totally on board with, but once I say it, you're going to be like, oh, this is so stupid. Spider-Man. That's on there, but that's not the one I was going to say. The upside-down kiss. The upside-down kiss. I saw it. The one I was going to say was Lady and the Tramp with the spaghetti. Oh, yeah. All the way in. It's so cute. Play it with my dogs, by the way. I like girls. The kid doesn't like cartoons. I said that on the air. I play that game with my dogs. They love spaghetti. It's filthy. I don't care. I like it. They're sweet. That's the filthiest thing. Before or after they lick their butt? They don't lick their butts. They lick their balls. They don't have balls. Some of them. None of them. None of my boys have balls. Why don't you keep that as a clip? None of my boys have balls? Yeah, I'll hang a little spaghetti out and Penny Bell will come grab some and we'll... Right there. Save that. Right there.

2:43:14Write that. It's a true story. That's so gross. No, it's not. What? It's over the top. It's over. No, it's not. It's funny. I do it as a bit. As a bit when no one's watching. No one's there. Jamie's there. But the other dogs are like. Daddy got me again. Daddy's a funny dude. Yeah, it's not a bit, my friend. It's a bit. Also, another one on the list is, these are the most iconic movie kisses. Slumdog Millionaire. Oh, yes. It's a great kiss. When they kiss on the train platform. Never seen it. Buddy, your boy make it both times playing in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got some time. Please kiss me. Kicking your can all over the place. Singing. We will, we will rock you. Uh-oh. We will, we will rock you. Wait for it. Buddy, you're a young man. Hard man. I guess you did. Silence of the Lambs. Psycho. The last one on here. Frederica Brimble. Oh, wait. Wasn't she like a great big fat person? Would you like to commend?

2:44:32Do you remember when she comes in, when Starling comes in, and she discovers who he is? Do you remember how he's looking through the business cards, and he goes... And they all fall to the ground. Oh, God! Creepy! He runs. The last one of the most iconic movie kisses is Twilight, when Bella and Edward first kiss. Don't throw your paper at me, Lauren. Ridiculous. I'm reading a list! I didn't come up with it! I know. I agree with some of them. Like Lady of the Trance. Twilight! Blah. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Interview with a Pleiadian, brought to you by PBS. And now, Klaus von Dieter. Nice, I forget. No. J.R. Tolkien. No. Stephanie something earlier. Stephanie... Stephanie Powers. Stephanie Myers. With the white hair. Not... One that does all the...

2:45:48Not from heart to heart. Exercise commercial. Heart to heart. Yes, from heart to heart. It's a great movie. Yes. It's a great show. Moonlighting was a great show too, wasn't it? That's true. I love Moonlighting. What was your favorite TV show when you were young? Or were you ever young? Dom de Fille. It was French Noir. You watched that when you were a little kid? I watched it since I was a toddler. I started playing piano when I was four. You just say piano. Why are you playing the piano right now? Because I just got my fingernails polished. It's really creepy when you talk to us and you're playing. You don't even play with your fingertips. You play with your nails. Throw your hair back. Let me ask you a question, plebeian. Okay. Let's talk about your meat. My meat? And greet. Ask my wife about my meat, pal. All right? Oh. What a shock. A wiener joke. Did Mikey bring that one over from the heavy metal station? Did he bring it in his Kiss lunchbox? Is that it? You don't like Kiss? No. Kiss. Have you ever been Kissed? With Paul Frampton and all the others. Paul Frampton. Who do you like? Lou Reed. I like Todd Lundgren. I like real music.

2:47:16If you'd like contemporary music, I like the new one from the Spiffs. I've never heard of them. They're a local band from Orlando. I've never heard of them. A local band from Orlando? Of course you've never heard of them. You don't read Spin. I read Spin. You pretend to read Spin. It's true. I get it. I subscribe. I don't really look through it anymore. I don't understand. What about you, Sienna? Why don't you tell us about your new... Britney Spears album. Have you got the new Britney Spears? No, but I do like the new song that's out. Really? Hold It Against Me, I think it's called. Oh, yes. I'm sure the lyrics to that one are great. That's nice. She sounds good. It's old Britney. Sure. If you're on PJ's Playhouse in the morning. That's not what it was called. And I was on a show similar to that. You were on Pee-wee's Playhouse. No. It was called AJ's Playhouse at the time. Over on the channel, the Channel 9 3.3. Yep, I was there for a few years. Channel 9 3.3? It's Channel 9 3.3. Really? You're aware of it, clearly. I am not aware of it. And you know Britney Spears is on it, so you must listen. I do not listen to it. I know about pop culture in San Diego. Wow. Oh, who was that that just spoke of? That was me. Let me guess, it was Rita Rudner. No. Thank you for the compliment.

2:48:41Lily Tomlin. Thank you again for the compliment. It's really passionate. He gets into that part. The piano. You ever played piano? I have, actually. I took a semester-long class at Miracosta. You did? Yeah. I do. I do. But I only got a B, so... I know. I choked on the final exam. Oh, I'm surprised Jay didn't make a joke there. I was thinking about it so hard. Maybe wiener time? Yeah. Why not? It's not the first time she choked on something. I thought the professor would like that. So funny. So funny, I forgot to laugh. Who are your favorite comedians? Metallica. Oh, sorry. That's not what I asked. That's not what I asked. He said comedian. He said comedian, not band. Let me ask you something.

2:49:46When you listen to your heavy metal music, do you wear spandex pants? I used to. When I was a kid, I did. I don't now. I wear what I have on right now. Play the electric guitar? Yeah, I do. Play a real instrument. Like what? The sitar. Sorry. You've been listening to Interview with a Plebeian, brought to you by PBS. I have to know about the head. shaving helmet. I know. I can't believe that's taking you this long. Of course. I can't wait. If you're a bald guy, over under on me getting a head shaving helmet two months. Take the under. Delivery time is about four to six weeks, I would imagine. Hours. We'll be right back. I want to send out some good thoughts for M1 Moe Z, who's having surgery today. She's a big fan of the Mikey Show. I want to send out a big

2:51:25Big bunch of prayers for her. Good luck. She's very sweet. They brought us some baby clothes a couple weeks ago. Very sweet couple. Our meet and greet is tonight at 7 o'clock. Or excuse me, from 5 to 7 o'clock. And it's happening at the East Village Tavern and Bowl downtown on Market Street. And happy hour prices and Jay will be singing Marty Day. Let's get it on. It's going to be great. I can. Okay. So I told you when we came back. I was going to tell you about the shaving helmet. What's the deal, Sienna? I saw a video and instantly fell in love with it. Yeah, I sent Mikey a demonstration video of the inventor demonstrating it. And it's a New York resident. It goes by the name of Boris in the video. And basically, he created what looks like a motorcycle helmet.

2:52:16It has four blades inside that are powered by two motors mounted on Teflon coated aluminum rails inside their shaving cream injection. So puts on the shaving cream and within 20 seconds shaves your head. Wow. The demonstration, no nicks, no nothing. And the guy had a smooth head. Now, the guy that he practices on, he had a lot of hair. He did. I mean, you know. And no nicks. Nothing. That's killer. And apparently there's also LED lights, which will indicate when the cycle is over. The light will turn off. Yeah. Now, is it for sale yet or is it just in like prototype? You immediately asked during commercial break, I want it. Where can I get it? And in this article, it doesn't say. I just looked online. It doesn't say. Woods looked online. It doesn't say. But everyone's talking about it. There's reviews and the demonstration videos everywhere. In fact, if you want to see it, I just posted on my blog. But, I mean, I'll try to find out. I mean, I think this will be a talked about thing because that's pretty impressive. Yeah. Cherie from Alpine, go ahead. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. Me and my husband absolutely love you. Thank you. Today's our sixth year anniversary, so I wanted to wish him a happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. That's very nice. Happy anniversary, pal. There you go. Thank you. Happy anniversary, M1 Jordan Allen. There it is. Thanks. Happy anniversary. Anybody got anything they want to promote this weekend?

2:53:42I have a gig tomorrow night. Sweet. In Carlsbad at the Carlsbad Village Theater on State Street. Nice. And to get tickets, you can go to sprocketent.com. Sprocket. Sprocket. Or the box office number 760-720-2460. 8 o'clock. Anybody else? Yeah, I'm going to Padres Fan Fest tomorrow, which is such a rad day. It starts at 10 a.m. at Petco. And you can walk around, meet players, get autographs. And I'm going to be out there hanging out with the missus. Very cool. End of the show on Friday, I give you my testimony, share my story with you. And I want to give you our website, too, MikeyShow.com. And if you'd like, you can go to MikeyShow.com. At the top of the page, there's the word help. You can click on that and you will find plenty of resources to get help with any of the stuff that you hear me talk about. Also want to let you know that they're on that site. There's a place that you can click if you would like me to come to your church and give my testimony. I would be blessed to do that.

2:54:59My story is that as a kid, I was sexually abused. Sad thing about that, just in addition to just what it is, is, you know, my parents didn't know for a long time. And my dad, my dad found out a few years ago and was really, really sad to hear it. He didn't know. That's the story of most people. Most people, when that happens to them, nobody in their family knows about it unless it's a member of the family. In my case, it wasn't. But the problem is that it's a secret, and it's one that most people are ashamed of. I was ashamed of it. Didn't tell anybody about it. And when it was coupled with other stuff about my personality, just low self-esteem, not feeling good about myself, as I was growing up,

2:56:05I felt worthless. As a matter of fact, I have thrown around the idea of eventually one day putting my story down on paper, the whole story. And if I ever do, one of the titles that I considered was worthless because it's how I felt when I was growing up. But I have said on the air a million times that I believe that anger is hurt. sadness, and fear. And I had all those feelings when I was growing up. I felt hurt. I felt sad and scared about all kinds of stuff. I was scared of everything. Scared of being alone. In fact, I still am. When I got into my 20s, I started drinking a lot more than people around me. And my oldest brother, who I called this morning, left him a voicemail telling him how much I love him.

2:57:20One time we were driving down the street in Tucson and he said, aren't you worried about your drinking because we have alcoholism in our family? And I said, yeah, I won't let it get to that point. Two years later, right by his home, he doesn't know this. I would have to go buy little bottles of travel alcohol, drink them and hide the empty bottles in the bushes. And he didn't know that. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that before. But I used to hide the empty bottles in the bushes. And that was humiliating. And then when I got into my early 30s, I was doing drugs. I was smoking a lot of cigarettes and I knew I was going to die. But beyond that, my dad had stopped talking to me. And friends were very, very privately worried about me. And one night when I was laying in bed, I gave up.

2:58:39And I said, the way that I'm living my life is not working. And everything that I'm doing to try to fill the space from girlfriends to drinking, to pills, to porno, to relationships, everything that I tried to do to make myself feel better, none of it was working. And I was lonely inside. I was desperate inside. I was hopeless inside. I still felt like that five-year-old. I still felt worthless. And I asked Jesus to come into my life and do something because I was just broken, broken down. And then slowly but surely, over a period of time, he started to change me. Now, it wasn't just that I was broken and that I had secrets. I used to make myself throw up to try to lose weight. But it wasn't just those secrets. I was mean.

2:59:58I was mean to people. I was cruel with my words, the way I treated people. And it was all because of all that anger, all that hurt, all that sadness, all that fear. I took it out on people. And really slowly, Jesus started to change my life. Today, I'm a different human being. There's no more desperation. And it isn't just because I got older. It's because he changed me. He took me from somebody that was desperate to somebody that was hopeful, happy, incredibly blessed to be alive. Took me through the roughest year of my life last year and I got through all of it. And I'm happy. I have friends that I truly love and I can't wait to get to work every single day. That is, there's no words for that. And he did all of it. And my story right now that you're hearing is a true story.

3:01:07It's real. What I'm telling you is real. God is real. Jesus is real. He worked in my life. And what I'm telling you is a true story. If you find yourself in any way thinking, I want to give up, I want you to go to the website, Mikey show.com and go to the top of the page and click on help. And there's resources for eating disorders, for addiction, for depression. for all the stuff that I've been and lived through in my lifetime. Jesus doesn't have a website, but the coolest church in the world that I go to, it does have a website. So I'm going to tell it to you. It's northcoastchurch.com if you need it. And if you don't, that's okay too. I only tell you my story. I just give you what happened with me. And if there's anything in it that makes you hopeful,

3:02:08If there's anything in it that makes you go, I don't have to buy that bag of dope today. I'm going to try something different. I'm not going to do a big old thing of crystal. And I know that there are people and there's someone that's listening right now that's going to do crystal today. I know that there's somebody listening right now that's going to do crystal today. You don't have to. I didn't have to. I stopped. If you are a full-blown alcoholic, you don't have to. Go to Mikey show.com and click on help. And you can get all those resources at the end of the show. On Friday, I play a song and man, the lyrics to this song that I'm going to play. Please, please, please. If you're in any kind of situation where you feel hopeless and desperate, please listen to the words to this song. This song in and of itself can give you hope. And that's what I want you to know that there's hope. There's hope.

3:03:30There's hope. There's hope. I want you to know that there's hope. We'll see you on Mondays.