The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/15/11
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Stingaree cab crashCharlie Sheen interviewpublic fallspalm spike injurylive television mishapmarriage and weightvasectomy decisionRadio CharadesValentine's Day giftsSTD datingradiomikey
Sienna reported that a cab plowed into a crowd outside Stingaree and that surgeons saved a pinned woman's leg, while the crew condemned the mob that beat the driver. Mikey, Lauren, CB, and Jay dissected Charlie Sheen's unsettling Dan Patrick interview and reporter Serene Branson's unexplained garbled live shot. Lauren fell while showing off on rocks, CB carried a palm spike in his toe for five weeks, and Mikey tumbled down children's stairs at Legoland as a tourist took a picture. The show also argued over spousal honesty about weight, Mikey and Rebecca's unresolved vasectomy decision, herpes-aware dating, Lauren's disastrous Dear John charade, and Mikey's awkward bathroom-sink delivery of a Tiffany necklace.
What happened, in order
Stingaree cab crash
Sienna reported that a cab struck roughly 23 people outside Stingaree, pinning one woman whose badly injured leg surgeons ultimately managed to save.
Charlie Sheen unravels
The crew played Charlie Sheen's strange Dan Patrick interview and argued that his claims of being ready for work sounded like someone still deep in addiction.
Lauren's rocky fall
Lauren tried to show off for Matt by bounding across rocks in Elfin Forest, but a loose stone rolled away and dropped her onto jagged rocks.
Spike in the toe
CB described jumping barefoot onto cut palm branches and living for five weeks with a half-inch spike buried through his big toe before pulling it out himself.
Garbled live report
The hosts played reporter Serene Branson suddenly speaking unintelligibly during a Grammy live shot and discussed the mystery after paramedics found normal vital signs and ruled out a stroke.
The 70-pound argument
An email from a husband happy with a 70-pound gain sparked a long argument over health, attraction, double standards, and how honestly spouses should discuss weight.
Legoland tumble
Mikey tripped on his frayed jeans and tumbled down tiny children's stairs at Legoland while an Asian tourist photographed the aftermath.
Vasectomy reversal
Mikey said Rebecca stopped him from getting a vasectomy because she wanted to preserve the option of a fourth child, prompting the group to debate permanence, regret, and the dream of a daughter.
Dear John disaster
During Radio Charades, Lauren's attempt to mime Dear John became an unforgettable deer-in-headlights performance that left caller George unable to guess the movie.
The Tiffany sink
Mikey bought Rebecca a Tiffany heart necklace, moved the blue bag around the house, and finally hid it on her bathroom sink before awkwardly telling her to go look there.
Herpes matchmaking
The crew considered a matchmaking service for people with herpes and concluded that disclosure up front could remove fear and help clients pursue marriage and family.
People mentioned
MikeySiennaLauren O'BrienCBJayWoodsyRebeccaMatt CommerceCharlie SheenDan PatrickSerene BransonGeorgeLukeRyan
31,427 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it just makes me happy. So welcome to the program. You can call us right now. 570-1949 is our number. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years of age, and I'm able to wear my USC T-shirt that Sienna got me today because, yeah. Because Woodsy isn't here. I don't want to bum him out. And he doesn't like USC. And I feel it will affect his performance because he'll look over at me and he'll see the USC shirt and he'll associate it with me. And then he's out. And so Woodsy is not here today because he is dealing with adoption stuff. And so my friend CB is filling in. Yeah. And CB is my age.
You're just a tiny bit older. You're 40. I'm your age. You're 40, right? I'm your age. He's, in fact, younger. I probably have smoother skin because I moisturize. He refuses to do any of the kind of cosmetics that I do. Because he's a man's man. He's a man's man. I'm from Texas, Mike. Yes. You're from Texas, too? Yes, ma'am. Surrounded by Texans over here. That's true. Lucky. That's true. Texan men don't moisturize. That's right. Lauren is our... Except for what? He does. I said men. We said men. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I love you. Lauren is our assistant producer. Hello. She's otherwise known as LOB. She's the blonde girl to my right. And she is a stand-up comedian. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25. And she is married and has a little girl named Seiji, who we're going to tell you about later because she made a big first step. Sienna did. Big first step. You made the first step? I always make the first step. Jay is our producer. He is 47 years of age. I've noticed something, Jay. You've decided to grow the hair out, haven't you? I don't know. My wife has suggested that we kind of see how it goes and then we'll figure out where it was most comfortable. I kind of like this length right here. You do? I do too.
She says she's still not used to it. Yeah. Well, how long have we been together? 20 some odd years? That's right. Jay shaved his head. Did I? I shaved your head. Yes, you did. And our phone screener today is Alan. Alan. Alan. Alan. I think he's unsure of why we do that. He is. Alan, you're unsure why we do that, right? Yeah. He just gave us a look like I have no idea. I sure am. Yes. Oh, wow. Jay has apparently come up with a voice. It's Alan over here. Let me tell you something. Let me just tell you something. Let me just tell you something. Let me just tell you something. Go ahead. Jay is one of the nicest men. And I'm not kidding. He is one of the nicest men I've ever met. No doubt about it. When it comes to our phone screeners, he will keep them in shape and just... Whip them up into shape. Oh, my gosh. He's like a football coach. Yes. No mercy. No, just trying to give him direction. Yeah, but your direction giving with our phone screeners is like Bobby Knight. I would say it's comparable to Bobby Knight. No, no, no. You just can't bring him in too quickly because then they think they get too comfortable and they don't take care of their duties. Y'all don't be telling him how good he is.
No, I mean, any time they do good things, you know, you give them positive, and then when they do something wrong, you put their nose in it. Now, fact of the matter is, no phone screener has ever gotten any positive feedback because they haven't done anything good yet. That's not true. But when they do, if, tell them. If they do. Yeah. Alan, whenever our phone screener Chris is in, we do this thing like, it's cruel. It's cruel. It's cruel. And so we have to do one for you, and we just decided we can't deal with it. And well as well. Yeah. Wow. Now it's Alan. Alan. Alan. We don't plan these things. They just come out. It just happens. This happens. Word of the day is glove. Glove. And so when you hear me say the word glove. Glove. Between now and 10 o'clock, just be caller number nine and you will win a $50 gift certificate to the 2011 Ski and Snowboard Mega Sale and also throw in a pair of tickets for pit passes to the AMA Series. race at Qualcomm this Saturday. Rain or shine. And you will be qualified for the grand prize, which is a $250 gift certificate to the 2011 ski and snowboard mega sale. There you go. So there it is. All right. So here's what we got to cover. The crash that happened at Stingery, the tragic crash at Stingery. We're going to talk about that and what happened.
We're going to hit on what's going on with Legadoo Nane and the rap on the iPhone, which... There's a few things happening. I know. I know. You're just so overwhelmed right now with the iPhone news, aren't you, Mike? I am. Are you going to be okay? I'm disappointed. I'm bummed, and we'll tell you why. Okay, so, Sienna, update us, and you can call 570-1949. Your call is about anything you want. Update us on what happened at Stingery on Friday night, Saturday morning, and then where we are now. Okay. Saturday morning around 1.50 a.m., there was an awful accident in front of Stingery, downtown San Diego. Now, a whole group of people, bars are closing, walking to their car, smoking a cigarette. On the sidewalk, a cab comes crashing into about... 20 some odd people, 23 people injured. One woman was actually pinned against the wall by the cab. And reports came out that her leg was amputated beneath her knee. Now reports are coming out saying that the leg is actually fine. Surgeons were able to save the leg. She had the option to say, take off the leg, you know, because she would have been totally fine. But she said, no, I'm not. I want my leg. I want you to do whatever you can to try to save it. So they did. And she's doing a lot better.
her leg that's great yeah so she actually amazing amazing i mean she actually released a statement uh late yesterday afternoon she said i know that i'm in good hands here at the uc san diego medical center my care has been exceptional and i have been amazed at the level of skill and comprehensive efforts provided by the trauma and orthopedic surgeon team i only ask for everyone to respect my privacy and that of my family and i take time to heal yeah well yeah so she's been in two surgeries um 90-minute surgery yesterday morning, which was the second time since the accident on Saturday. And the cab driver was actually released from the hospital because if you didn't know, once he crashed into this woman, all hell broke loose. You know, people have been drinking, turned into a mob scene, fights. They actually pulled the cab driver out of the car, beat him up. We know he at least had a broken nose, so he was taken to the hospital. In fact, our phone screener, Alan, knows one of the guys that got arrested. But he also knows... uh a guy that's in the navy that actually applied the tourniquet to the woman to the woman's leg to try to save it yeah and we might talk to that guy later on yeah on the show um so the the cab driver actually he was released from the hospital but then he has since returned to be treated for some facial injuries that he says just
I'm sure he's a mess. There's a group of guys that jumped this cab driver. And if you don't know the cab driver, they're saying they're ruling out alcohol. He wasn't under the influence, but they think he fell asleep at the wheel. I mean, something happened, and they're trying to figure that out. And then Legadoo Nane has made news as well. What's going on with Legadoo? San Diego Charger wide receiver Legere Nane was arrested in Indianapolis Saturday on charges of public intoxication and resisting arrest. Local police say Nene 27 came across an active crime scene early Saturday morning, smelled of alcohol. He was told repeatedly to go away. He kept sticking his nose in the business, so after being placed under arrest, Nene began to pull away from officers. They had to subdue him with pepper spray. He was eventually handcuffed, but as he was taken to a squad car, he said, according to police, do you know who I am? I'm an NFL player, and I'm going to sue your fill-in-the-blank. Audio from the scene could have sounded like...
This, cut through. Know who the hell I am. Yeah, could have seen it. Could have. Know who the hell I am. I don't know. Maybe you're a football player. Know who the hell I am. Maybe you're Legadoon on A. Know who the hell I am. Yes, I do. You've already told me. Know who the hell I am. Yes, I've seen your ID. Know who the hell I am. Yes, I do. You've said you're Legadoon on A. Thank you. Does that actually work ever when you pull that card? Like, do you know who I am? Oh, sorry. I'm going to let you go. Oh, my bad. It didn't Saturday morning in Indianapolis. Yeah, when you're in Indianapolis. It's probably not going to help you at all. It's probably not going to help you in San Diego. You want to be playing for the Colts if you're in Indianapolis and use that line. And then don't think you got a shot. Yeah. So here is the lowdown on the iPhone. Okay, so the planet has been anxiously awaiting for the iPhone to go to Verizon. LOB did not buy the iPhone. I did not. She did not pull the trigger. She came as close to pulling the trigger as it. Possibly gets. I know. And it was serendipitous. No, my card was down in my car. And by the time I got back to the computer to put my credit card number in, they had been sold out of them. Yeah. So she didn't. And now, what is the latest on the Verizon iPhone? Okay. Well, as we know, it came out last week. And, you know, people that are new to it, they want to let everyone know what they think. So there's iReporters have come out and they are saying that they are underwhelmed.
with this new Verizon iPhone. Why? Actually, the Verizon phone doesn't share the AT&T's ability to have a voice conversation and stream other data at the same time. Who's doing that? That's what they're saying. Okay, I'll explain. I'll explain. Yesterday, I did that. Yesterday, I did that, actually, CB, when I was talking to you. Okay. We were talking, and I said, I have a sheet that has everything that we're going to be doing on the show. And you go, oh, why don't you send it to me and I'll look at it and we'll talk about it. And I go, all right. So while I was talking to you, I was able to go to my email and send you an email. Although you stopped talking to me because you couldn't do that at once. But technically, that is a true fact. That's a true story. But I was capable of doing this, keeping the call and going to your email. Yeah, but you know what? Honestly, who cares? Like, first of all, I don't do that that often. And it wouldn't have been that hard for me to say to him. In fact, I almost did. Hey, let me send you this email and I'll call you right back.
So you can't do that. You can't do that with this new one. And people are, you know, they're they're used to seeing that on the AT&T iPhone. Yeah. And so they're like, it's like going backwards. Why would I want that when I know that that's an option? You know, what's so great about this? So, you know, other people are just saying things like by the time you get out of your contract 20 months or your two year contract, like most people, it's time to upgrade your phone. But you're going to be stuck with over five year old technology while everyone else is going to be using this new 4G LTE product. So if you get this new phone. Right now that just came out on Verizon, you're stuck. When do they say that the new one is coming out? August. August. So, Ella B., will you change to the iPhone in August? Yes. But I'm bummed now because before I was at the point where it didn't really bother me. I didn't really need a new phone. But now my phone is really acting up. and acting like a jerk and just has scratches all over it. And I'm like, oh, I really want a new phone, but I want to wait until August. Your phone is acting like a jerk because it has scratches all over it. That's another thing it's doing, but it's also just, it's just turning off whenever it wants to. My phone keeps falling out of my hand on the ground. I need a new one. I hate it. So let me ask you this. There are three iPhone users here. Me, Sienna, and CB.
Do you have any complaints about that thing? The only complaints I have is the complaint on AT&T that you get lousy coverage in a lot of places. But I love the iPhone. I love it. You know, I wouldn't change mine at all. And I don't mind the cell service. I think it's fine. I don't ever get dropped. I know some people do, but maybe I live in an area where I don't. I've had drops, and I know where they are. That's it. I tell people going in, hey, I'm about to go through this hill. If you lose me, I'll have to call you back. It's a 50-50. And I'm on Verizon, and there's a couple pockets of places where I know. Sometimes I skate through, and I'm like, oh, I didn't drop you. But there's a couple places. What do you got? I got Verizon. Jay, you got Verizon? I have no problems. I'd never get a call. You have no places that treat you bad? Used to be one by the house, but for some reason it doesn't do it anymore. See, and here's my deal. I had Verizon before I went to AT&T through iPhone, so I know the routes I drive, and I never had an issue with Verizon, AT&T. Now I know the four drop places. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. There's going to be some point where Verizon might be better for me because I'll be hunting antelope.
In some place in the middle of Alaska. Or North County. where it'll be important for me to have coverage. Well, what I really like about Verizon is you have in-network calling, meaning you talk to anybody else on Verizon for free. If they're on there, you can talk to them as much as you want. So a lot of my friends and family on the East Coast are on Verizon. ETC has that, too. Oh. Free mobile to mobile. But isn't that like Chinese food, all you can eat? Like, you can only talk to them so much. What are you going to do? Have you seen any Chinese food? That's true. That is true. CB can take down some sushi, too. Sushi countries. How many? Tell the sushi thing. How many? I liked AT&T simply because the iPhone. Come on now. You ate sushi one time and you took down 11 rolls. 11 full rolls. Wow. That's impressive. I'm embarrassed about that. Were they all the same? Oh, no. Wow. That's an expensive dinner. He eats like a camel, though. He eats one meal a day. Yeah. That's why I have this hump. Yeah. One meal a day? Yes, ma'am.
So it's just one big meal. It's the worst diet ever. It's not a diet. Seems to be working pretty good. Now, wait a minute. Jay. Jay. So let me ask. You're not hungry, though? Like when you eat the one meal, you don't get hungry later? You know what? I get hungry about 30 to 32 hours after I eat. Like hungry, hungry. I mean, I'll eat, but I'm feeling like. Oh, my gosh. I'm hungry. Around 30 to 32 hours after eating. It started from working in a road crew, construction, doing paving and grading out on highways. Mike, he knows a lot about that. Yeah, well, of course. He's on the road course. He's like, huh? Right, yeah. Lots of hard work. That habit. Yeah, 30 to 32 hours he'll eat. That's crazy. Now, I've been with him at said meals. He can put down some chow. I would love to go out with you. You'd make me feel like I ate nothing. How much was the final bill on 11 rolls of sushi? All you can eat. Oh, it's all you can eat? Yeah. But we totaled up. Yeah. And it was just insane. Like $126.
That's why you pay $22.95 and say, keep it coming. Yeah, they weren't expecting an 11. They were like, you're an eating guy to roll. We're finding new places. I'm not allowed in three of the four that we used to. I don't blame them. All right, iPhone Nano. Okay, now no one freak out. I'm already freaked out. This is a rumor right now, but there's pretty good sources backing it up. There could be an iPhone Nano. What? It's going to be a lot smaller. Right now it has a code name that people are saying that they think is the iPhone Nano. Right. It's iPhone Nano. That's the code name. It's N97. I'm going to wait for the 98, though. Good idea. It's going to be available to AT&T mobile carriers at about half the price of the iPhones right now. It's going to be costing about $200 with no contract. I have a theory. What? I'll bet. I got one, too. See if it's the same. I'll bet. Because I wondered when iPhone was leaving AT&T to go to Verizon, I wondered, how'd they pull that off with AT&T? Maybe they said, tell you what, AT&T, we're going to come out with this new thing called the iPhone Nano, and we'll let you guys have it. Exclusivity. Mark my words, though. 12 years from now, they're going to be coming out with iPhone Megas because everything's gotten so small.
there's going to be a crowd. People are losing all their junk. They're like, I forgot where my little phone dropped out of the hole in my pocket. And they're like, all right, we've got the iPhone mega now. But Sienna, you like the idea. Oh yeah. I want it. This is supposed to be half the size of the iPhone 4. But it's so cute. But you can't see. It's cute and tiny. How do you even hold that up? You do. You sit there with your pinky in the air. I want it. What if you have big fat fingers like me and Chris? What are you going to do? How come you always bring me in? I'm just saying. Both of us have the fingers. You figure it out. Really? When you first got on the iPhone, Mike. Both of us do have fingers, though. He is true. Yeah, you get a stylus. You already have a stylus. Great. So we all needed that stylus. Put your pinky out when you're dialing. Hello. Why do people want a tiny phone? Girls like it. Really? And kids, maybe. Yeah. Oh, boy. Kids. Oh, boy. And my five-year-old doesn't like the iPhone. It's a little large form. So I'm like, ah.
Please, someone make something for my toddler. My one-and-a-half-year-old twins don't like the current iPhone because... Yeah, it makes their hands look tiny. Sony Ericsson has a new smartphone themselves. All right, gamers, you're going to be real excited. Greetings. Sony Ericsson just announced a new... PlayStation smartphone, Joe. They're going to be launching this in March. It features a four-inch multi-touch screen. It also has a slide-out PlayStation-style game pad. Some of the games it will have on there, Assassin's Creed, Splinter Cell, Guitar Hero. I don't know how you're going to have Guitar Hero, but apparently it's on there. Need for Speed, Sim 3, FIFA 10. FIFA? FIFA. FIFA? FIFA. Soccer game. FIFA? FIFA. Oh, yeah, that's a huge game. FIFA. Huge game. So they started out on this journey April a year ago, and now it's going to be out next month, March. PlayStation smartphone. Would you do that, Jay? No, I'm not into PlayStation. I'm an Xbox. Oh, sorry, my bad. If they had a phone with Xbox on it, would you do it? You know, most, like, Kim's iPhone or whatever she has has all the games on it already, so you can play them on there.
If there's a gamer in your life and they wake up in nine hours, tell them about this phone. I know. 570-1949 is our number, and you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. So Obama told everybody what the budget is, and it's $3.7 trillion. Wow, wow. But it's sweet. It's like my budget. I was so afraid we were going to come in at 3.8. I'm like, I don't think we can make 3.8. And if there's any way they can shave that down. So I'm glad we came on. I'm happy with it. Yeah. I think we can live within that. So what's the deal, Sienna? What are we? 3.7 trillion dollars. Well, he unveiled this plan yesterday. And it's going to basically freeze or reduce the domestic spending. Some of it that Republicans wanted a more drastic cut to just shrink the deficit. Right. Or faster. Right. Obama said that this is a 10 year plan that, quote, tough choices and sacrifices. However, it avoids cuts in the areas of Medicare and Social Security. It also includes tax increases on the wealthy to raise revenues and some military cuts. It's going to reduce the deficit by one point one trillion over the next decade. And Republicans are basically slamming this proposal, saying it doesn't go nearly far enough in cutting spending. Kim Kardashian is.
Going to drop a single in three weeks. Yeah. Now, I have a prediction. Are you excited? I have a prediction. Okay. Now, the first time that I interviewed, the first and only time I interviewed Kim Kardashian, I had to humbly explain to her that I didn't know who she was. Now, this is after she was a big deal. But I didn't watch television. I still don't really watch television. And so I'd explain to her, Kim, this is what I know. I know that you're an extraordinarily beautiful woman. Yes. I know that you've got a reality show. That's all I knew. I didn't know what she was famous for. Knockers. She was nice. She explained to me that that was one of the things she was known for was the knockers. But the other thing that she was known for, and she explained, she said, I'm known for fashion. You know, I know fashion. Yeah, they have a clothing store. Her family, Dash. Dash. Which they just expanded to New York. So she and her sister Courtney are in New York right now with a reality show. They've been in, you know, L.A. They've been in Miami. Now they're in New York doing the store. Well, here's what I can tell you about this single. I'll bet it's good. Oh, yeah. Totally. Now, people probably won't buy it because it's Kim Kardashian. Exactly. And the stigma and the, you know, it's going to be, they'll be thought of as lame because it's Kim Kardashian. Right. Same thing happened with Lindsay Lohan.
She put out a song. It actually wasn't half bad, but it's Lindsay Lohan. So people were like, it's Lindsay Lohan. What am I going to do? Buy that? I remember it's called Rumor. Rumor. Yeah. I downloaded it. It was good. It was good. People are going to get this Kim Kardashian. Okay. A couple of weeks ago. The single, which Kim Kardashian's single is called Turn It Up. It's coming out in three weeks. And the Dream, who's a rapper, it was his idea. He asked her to do this. She was like, what? I don't sing. And he talked her into it. And it debuted in Vegas at a nightclub a few weeks ago. And it leaked. And the quality was really bad. So we didn't play it over the air. It was good, and people were asking to hear it again and again from the DJ the whole night. Really? Yeah, and so Kim, you know, she's talked about her single, Turn It Up, and she said, you know, I knew, look, I'm not Beyonce. I'm not Celine Dion. Like, I was just doing what's in my reach, and I think it turned out well. Yeah. It's a good song. Well, it's probably going to be good, but unless they sell it as being from somebody else, it probably won't work. KK. This was the Lindsay Lohan song.
It was called Rumors. It came out about three or four years ago, right? Did you just buy it or did you have it on your... I had to buy it. Okay. I had to buy it. I had to find out. Oh, no. I remember the music video. I love it. Yeah. And then in the garage. Yeah. It's so good, isn't it? So far, she sounds great. Yeah. Sounding out. Sounding out. Sounds like a pop song. Sounds like a hit pop song. The first time you hear it, it's not as good. You have to hear it a few times, I think. The chorus. Once the chorus kicks in. They can put a voice, you know, reverb on your voice and run it through a machine and make anybody sound good. I don't think they can make anybody sound good. But that's just... I've heard people run through... There was a CNN reporter that was doing a story on... Pro Tool. Or not Pro. What's it called? Auto Tune. Auto Tune. Yeah. And she goes, let me give it a shot. And she was like, Paris Hilton. Sounds just like Gwen Stefani. Also downloaded this. Yeah, me too. This one I own. I didn't have to buy it. Sounds like Gwen Stefani. I have both of those. If you didn't know, if you didn't know it was Paris Hilton, you would think it was Gwen Stefani. You'd go, oh, that's a cool new record. The video was very good. Wow. Good? Sick too.
Oh, I'm a huge fan of hers. Any comparison? Who I did who on those? Lohan or Hilton? I like Hilton's better. I think, yeah, she did better. Who sold more? Hilton's? I don't know about that. So no one heard from Charlie Sheen after all this stuff happened with Charlie with the hookers and the cocaine and all that stuff. But yesterday, he did an interview with Dan Patrick, just out of the blue. Sports guy, Dan Patrick. Just ended up on the Dan Patrick radio show. Why not? We have audio of it, and it's next. A very odd interview with Charlie Sheen on the Dan Patrick show yesterday. Dan Patrick's radio show. Good dude, Dan Patrick. So we'll play that for you in just a minute. Woodsy is out today. CB filling in for Woodsy today, and he's having the same problem that Woodsy has all the time. I broke his headphones. No, that happens to Woods.
Probably once a month. He never really fixes them, Woods. I have to do it. Otherwise, he'll do like a quick repair and it doesn't last. Yeah. Appreciate it, Woods. Same thing. Same thing. Does the same thing. So CB is filling in for Woods today. And here's the thing. When Woods takes his week off, okay? He's going to take a week off. When his baby's born. When the baby's born. End of this month. March 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. We are looking for somebody to be Woods for a day. So here's what you do. You submit a two-minute video of you doing a sports report. And you just submit this video on our fan page, facebook.com slash Mikey Show. It's very easy. Now, here's the thing. It has to contain real sports. And somebody asked the other day, they were like, So does it have to be current sports? Can it be like old? It doesn't matter. Just show us how you can do sports. Show us how you can do sports. Any sports story. That's right. On the air, we'll have to be current. Correct. If you make it. Now, you got to be available the week of March 1st through the 3rd. If you're going to do this, video's got to be posted by Friday, February 18th by 10 a.m. And that's it. You got that? You're good.
We're looking for smooth delivery of sports. We're looking for personality. Just be yourself. That's right. Are you trying to tell me something? Yes. No, CB, you do a great job. You're doing great. You can be a guy or a girl. Yeah, it can be a guy or a girl. Wow, look at Lauren. Can it? Can it really? You're going to be at number three to one in this booth? That's what we tried to tell him, CB. We tried to tell him. He's like, it can be a girl. Yeah, they can, but they can't bring a male's perspective. LLB's actually saying that. Because someone probably emailed her and got mad. No, I felt bad. You said there was someone yesterday. There was an M1 at our meeting. That was a female. And I mean, hey, none of the guys are stepping up to the plate. So never send a man to do a woman's job. Wow. Wow. Well said. That's right. Trying to get people fired up to make. Hey, listen, she's right.
We haven't got, I mean, we got like one submission. Don't be scared. Yeah, don't be scared. This is a fun job. We'll order food. You can make us food if you want and bring it in. You can bring us donuts. You know, I mean, it's not going to hurt. You can, you know, we're fine with like back massage, whatever. You can smell nice if you want. Yes. We're not going to hate that. That's right. If you're a guy, you can be a black guy. L-O-B. L-O-B. So there it is. There's no age limit. No. Maybe over 18. Yeah. What are the days? Glove. Glove. When you hear me say the word glove, be caller number nine and you'll win fabulous prizes. Charlie Sheen from The Dan Patrick Show talking about why he unravels so quickly. Are there people holding their collective breaths here with this interview? I hope so. Anytime I give an interview, they hold their breath. It should be me next time until I pass out. That was a bad joke. Sorry. But you want to go back to work. Oh, yeah, man. I mean, I'm a man of my word. I have a contract. They said, you know, get your act together, and I did. Man, does he sound like his dad. Yeah. His voice sounds so similar to his dad. It does. Is he really playing on the man of my word card? Yeah. Well, this is what now.
But wait a minute. And I'm glad you brought that up, CB, because as you listen to this, this is what you have to keep in mind as you listen to this. He's just quacking because he's a duck. Yeah. He's going to sound like he's. And that's because he is active in his addiction. You know, he is doing rehab. I use finger quotes rehab at home, which means he's not doing rehab. He was out the other day walking around. I mean, if you're out walking around, you're not doing rehab. But anyway, so that's why he's quacking. He's a duck. I don't know. I just think maybe it was a timing thing. They didn't think it was going to happen this fast. But check it. It's like, you know, I heal really quickly, but I also unravel pretty quickly. So get me right now, guys. Get me right now. He doesn't sound right. No. He doesn't sound right. He's telling me he's going to fall off again. And do it right now. I'm okay. Next week, maybe not. Morality clause in your contract. Yay, blah. Is there a morality clause? Is there a morality clause in your contract? In your contract. Yay, blah, blah. Nitpick, nitpick. I mean, I haven't read it, but I don't think it covers let us totally dominate and interfere with your personal life. Wow. Don't sound right. Sounds like he's still.
Yeah. I read a poll a while ago and it was basically saying, asking viewers of Two and a Half Men, the show that he's on, if they wanted him to come back, if they cared that he's gotten in all this trouble. And basically no one cared. Everyone just wanted him back. Women, men. I love that show. People love that show. They don't care. They just want him there. Have you seen it, CB? I've seen like... Pieces of it. Yeah. I've never watched an episode. Has anybody here seen it? Oh, I've seen it. I like it. Yeah, it's not bad. People don't care what you do in your personal life, morality, as long as you score points or as long as you act, as long as you perform, as long as you sing. Yeah. They want to go home and watch a show that makes them unwind after their crazy day at work. Does he make that show like... Does he make the show? Oh, yes. His character is really, it's probably the most important character on the show. And his character is just like him in real life. He's like this dirty guy that hooks up with all these girls. Really? Yeah. He's not a drug user in the show, but he's a womanizer. Here he is talking about going back to filming it. Charlie, how are you? Doing great, Dan. How are you? Wait, let me hear that voice again. Yeah, I sound like Demi Moore in her 80s. What's up with that? Jesus. How'd you lose your voice?
Well, I went back to work, and, you know, I was banging on the stage door. Hello? Where's everybody? I don't know what happened. I guess they're closed. They won't let you back in? I died. Nobody told me. Nobody told me. I just figured, you know, I'm supposed to go back to work because I'm ready. Wait, you're on hiatus. No, we're on forced hiatus. They said, you get ready, we'll get ready, and I got ready. I went back. Nobody's there. I don't know what to tell you then. Nobody's there. Well, wait, how do they tell you? Sounds so weird. Because you're not ready. Yeah. He's like, I don't know what happened. Went off the deep end. I'm the star of the show, but apparently they're not filming without me. What does that mean? Like you show up to the set, you're like, hello. Yeah, you have a call time. Yeah. You don't just show up and be like, he was partying 3 a.m. He's like, I'm going to go to work now. 3 a.m. banging on the door. I'm ready, guys. I'm ready. Anybody in there? You guys are ready. You're the star of Two and a Half Men. So who decides when you get to? You can't do One and a Half Men. No, and that was clearly revealed when they had to bring me back this year. I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm here, and I'm ready. They're not boring it. When are you scheduled to start shooting again? I believe August of 2014 at this pace. I don't know. It's supposed to be like the 28th or the 29th.
That's what it is. It's the 29th in a non-leap year. Oh, my goodness. He knows that he is that show. He knows it. They know it. Everyone knows they need him. That sound in his voice, I recognize that sound in his voice because I used to be that sound in his voice. It's going to be a while. Yikes. It's going to be a while. He's got to get his stuff together. No, he's a man of his word, Mikey. That's what he said. That's what he says. 570-194-9 is the number if you want to give us a call. I thought this was pretty good. L.O.B. on Saturday went for a hike, weird, with her BFMC. These are so healthy. They are. They're very healthy. Try to be. Her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. Two of you guys went on a hike together. We did. His name is Matt. Matt. They went on a hike in Elfin Forest and, of course, decided that they were going to veer off course. That'd be so scary. Off the beaten path. Yeah. Suddenly they come to a point in their course where there's jagged rocks. Yikes. And L.O.B. is feeling particularly athletic and nimble, so she decided that she was going to jump from stone to stone. What? Hoping that in one bound she would pass Matt. Yay!
I was trying to show off. What else is new? She jumped onto a stone that apparently wasn't wedged into the ground very well. It rolled backwards out from under her. She went from vertical to horizontal in a split second. Wiener time. Flat out. What did... I don't even... Why does he have buttons? Horizontal. Mike just laughed. He just figured it out. I laughed at Jay going. Who even sees that opening? I don't know. So she's laying flat out on the rocks. Tears rolling down her face. She's got like the laugh cry going on. I do the laugh cry. She literally had pride come before the fall. Literally.
I was so like, oh, look at me. Look at me. And I was going to I was going to like jump past Matt and then look back at him and be like, suck it. And instead the thing went and I fell. And he was really kind because I would have laughed if I were him. And instead he went right to my aid and threw a T-shirt over my because my legs are all cut up. I'll show you. Look. Yeah. Doesn't have to. Oh, my gosh. Then the other one's up here. I know. Holy cow. I fell on jagged rocks. Yeah, you're lucky that you didn't really hurt yourself. I know. I was so stunned because I hit, I slammed. I literally was standing and then I was not. And I had to assess the pain before I stood up. Don't you watch those TV shows like I Shouldn't Be Alive? You don't watch those shows? I have seen them before. You know they all start with someone saying, So we decided we were going to go off the path. Yeah. I was going to show off just for a brief second. Just for a second. See, she's lucky because even if she fell and hurt herself, there was someone there that could carry her back. And throw a t-shirt over her womb. Not many people could do things like that because they would be stuck. And I told Matt, I was like, you know, when I was in Hawaii, I would be on even more secluded trails than this by myself. Oh, my God. I know. I used to not really have a lot of fear, but now I'm scared. You know what I do in Hawaii? Eat.
I eat and I nap. So it's not much different than what you do here. Pretty much, yeah. It's the same exact thing with more palm trees. I like to hike. So when your life flashed before your eyes, were there any moments that just came out to you? I thought to myself, this is exactly what you deserve. Because I was being so, in my head I was being really, really proud of myself and boastful. And then it was like, bam! Jay is very different than us in that regard, too, because Jay actually builds things with his hands. Yes. In fact, Jay just put in an entire fence made out of cement at his house, right? Built a retaining wall in the backyard. 81 cinder blocks. 30, 40 bags of 90-pound concrete bags. You did that by yourself? Kim. Kim and I. His wife. And Jasper. And his seven-year-old. Eight-year-old. And my son. Eight-year-old. And my older son, Finnegan, helped, too. Thank God. It's a family project. That's right. Wow. Where was Liberty and Maddie? They ain't got the pass because Liberty was celebrating Valentine's Day with her boyfriend a day early. Happy birthday. And Maddie was working. Maddie has a real job. So everybody else, though, was knee-deep in concrete. Maybe you guys hire help. Yeah. Maybe you guys.
pride in doing it yourself. That's awesome that you did that. It was harder than I thought. I've never built one out of cinder blocks. Jay, did you give each member of the family a job that they were responsible for? You kind of fall into roles like Finn and I were the concrete mixers. You'd have to mix the concrete up in the wheelbarrow. We had two big wheelbarrows going so you had to mix the concrete up. I'd been laying it all out for a couple weeks trying to figure it all out because it doesn't just go together like that. You had to do a footer. What is that? What is a footer? To me, that's a sandwich. Yeah. It's how deep you have to pour the concrete in the ground to support the wall that you're going to build. Oh, yeah. How do you know that? I researched it. What did your 8-year-old son do? He was in charge. He would get stuff. He was a runner. So he would always like, I need the sledgehammer. So here he is bringing this big sledgehammer over to help drive stakes in. He was also the guy who would smooth the concrete because you had to fill up all the cinder block holes with concrete. Right. So he had a...
He had like a trowel, going across trowel on the stuff. It was pretty cool. And now it's built. Well, it's built, and I've been spraying it down and removed all the wood from it that was supporting. And now I'm going to have to put a fake stone on front, like the stacked rock on front, to make it look like it's a stone wall. Oh, that's going to look nice. His wife's hands are like shredded up, he said. I didn't know that her hands, because I wore gloves most of the time. And she went to rub my back. I was working on the computer. She slid her hand up. I was like, ah, ah, don't do that. Her hands are just raw. Yeah. She didn't wear gloves? Maybe you'll give your wife your gloves. She has her own gloves. He acts like it's the greatest family memory. I'd love to hear from his family. Yeah. For an entire day of being treated like phone screeners. They will hate it. Kim loves it. Kim's always been that way. But Finn will hate it. Like, I hated it with my dad, but later on down the line, he'll go, hey, I know how to do that. Yeah. Yeah, later on down the line. Later on down the line, he's like, you know why I don't touch anything with my own hands? Let me tell you how I grew up. I always said that. I always said the same thing. For three weeks, dad would have blueprints all over the wall. Boy, next Saturday, we're going to footers. Let me tell you, that did not happen with me. I remember, this is my memories of Saturdays. My dad, who's in the retired military, would come into the room. I shared a room with my brother. My dad would do this.
Bed. Kick the bed. We'd be asleep. You go. Ow. Kick the bed. And you go. You go. Get the lawnmower. Meet me out back in seven minutes. Steve. Kick the bed. Bam. Bam. Get the garbage cans. Meet me out back in seven minutes. We wake up. Seven. You had to be there in seven minutes. Wow. Not eight minutes. Oh. Seven minutes. That's awful. Oh, it was the worst. And then we would go out there and we'd do the yard work. Now. What I can tell you is that I do, there are certain elements I still like, but that's not one of them, that memory. CB does, you like palm trees and stuff like that, right? And you know about them and you know how to grow them and all that kind of stuff. I like doing, I mean, I like taking care of some yard stuff. Yeah. You learned a very valuable lesson that you should not do anything with palm trees in flip-flops. What are you trying to say, Mike? How come every time I come on here, you always say, hey, what's stupid about this guy, and how can I bring it out in public? That is true. That's a true statement. Was it flip-flops or barefoot? It was flip-flops. Cutting a big canary palm tree. Yeah. And they got these spikes. Not on the outside branches, but on the inside.
Man, they got this some sort of, I don't know what it is. I got to look it up. Some sort of little venom something that when they hit you, it all swells up. Yeah. So there I am cutting it. And I got this little bank. It's just like a little eight-foot bank in the backyard. And I'm cutting one of the branches. I've thrown a big pile of them behind me down below the bank. And I cut one. And it goes to drop right on my bare feet and legs. So I jump out of the way. Yeah. And I jump down eight feet right on the pile. Oh, my gosh. And I take one of those spikes. straight through my big toe. And it goes all the way through my big toe into that first knuckle and it breaks off. There was every nerve. I mean, I sat there like I just got electrocuted. Every part of my body was just Oh, gosh. And then that numbness burning sets in. So I got a hole there. And it has, like, something on it that causes irritation? Yeah, it does. Yeah, canary palm has something. When it hits you, I mean, even when it pokes you, there's a numbness stinging thing, like a little bee sting. And so I try to push it out, and I'm like, okay. I didn't know at first it broke off in there. I just know I had a hole in my big toe.
And I thought because it went in and it rocked my knuckle, that's where the pain's coming from. But for the next couple days, I'd walk around and I'd bend my, you know, your toe when you walk. And every now and then it would catch in that knuckle. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop you. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So you thought. I thought it just went in, rocked my knuckle and came back out. You didn't realize the thing was still there. I didn't know there was a thing in there. And so I'm cruising around. And every so often, then I know it because I bend my. toe or my foot and it hits me and just whatever I'm doing, it takes my breath away. I mean, I'd be walking, talking to people about stuff that's going on and they're like, dude, what just happened? I'm like, can they evolve? And I'm like, man, I got something in my toe. So after two days, I go to the doctor. He shoots it up. He digs in there with the tool. He can't find anything. I'm like, look, there's something there. So he steps out of the doctor's office and allows me to have the little pokey things right tweezers and i go in there and i just start fishing and i'm pulling out flesh and junk but i can't grab anything so i'm like well maybe it's and he's like i don't think there's anything there so i go on with it and it is five weeks later i'm actually up at a place called hume lake with my family and the middle of the night man it is it is hurting and i get up and it's not at the hole that went in but it's back at the base of my toe there's a red
You can tell an infection, and I start squeezing it, and this little tiny black thing pokes out the other side of my toe, and I'm like, that's it. So I grab a pair of tweezers out of my wife's bag, grab it, and I pull out, and it's a little over a half inch long, this spike that's been in my toe. I still got it. I got it in a little plastic box. Oh, my goodness. Because people don't believe me, and it's in my desk at work. Here it is. Maybe you wear shoes. Maybe. Maybe have a great story to tell and be on the Mikey Show. That sounds like a lot of pain. I feel electrocuted myself. I know. My feet hurt. Oh, my gosh. My body hurts. You know who that doesn't have to? Guy's just sitting in his house, nude laptop and watching TV, just real good. Just hanging out, just enjoying household TV shows. I don't do any yard work stuff. Even though it's in my blood, I don't do any of that stuff. You garden. Yeah, you garden. I grow tomatoes. I grow tomatoes. Although they're waist high on little edges, so you don't have to bend over. Janet Jackson apparently doing interviews because new album? What, do we know? Book? Album? Something. I've seen her on TV. I haven't really listened to her. Now, yesterday she was on the Today Show, and wait till I tell you what her father, Joe Jackson, used to make her call him. We got audio.
It's next. It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H. This is the new Lady Gaga song called Born This Way. Do you know the rap on it is that she's ripping off Madonna? Yeah. Express yourself. I think this will be played in any clubs or anything. Only on repeat. So the Janet Jackson thing, we'll have that coming up here in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, health officials in San Diego are saying warning of meningitis dangers. You know, only 47% of youth are currently vaccinated with a meningitis vaccine. And you have to be really careful because it really hits teens and preteens are the most.
likely to catch it. And meningitis is a bad, bad sickness. I mean, you can die from it. I don't know anything about it. I've heard of it. Oh, my gosh. There's viral. I'm not sure which one is worse. If you survive from it, there's a good chance that you can lose arms or legs. You can become deaf. You develop nervous system problems, suffer seizures or strokes. I mean, it's something you don't want to mess with. So only 47% of youth in San Diego are currently vaccinated with the vaccine. So get your kids vaccinated, you know, whooping cough, the same thing. Also, elections in San Diego County could be a little bit different there. They may all be through the mail under this new legislation that was introduced yesterday. All mailing ballot would save local government millions of dollars. And it also increased voter participation is what the senator is saying. San Diego would become the only county in California to have. All male voting. So we'll see if that happens. Also, really quick, San Diego County ranks high as a brain magnet. What that means is San Diego is one of the nation's top brain magnets during recent years. It means that the number of college graduates are outpacing the local population. Really? Between 2007 and 2009, the number of college graduates here in San Diego grew by over 51,000, which is a 2.7% faster increase than the general population. Really? A lot of students coming through. Yeah. That's cool.
CB, what's going on in sports? Sports Update brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. You know it's the perfect blend of flavor and heat? It is. Frank's Red Hot. Love it. Hey, some of you that follow college basketball know that this weekend, Ohio State, who was number one, got rocked by Wisconsin, leaving the door open for who else but Kansas Jayhawks. Now, Kansas wanted to be number one. They said, put the target on us. We want everyone to gun for us this season. Monday came out. They are number one in the AP poll. They take that number one ranking last night into Kansas State. Perfect time to go to your interstate rivalries. They waxed Kansas State just two weeks ago, 90 to 66. Last night. Different story. You wanted to be number one, you got it. Kansas State rolled them. Wasn't even a game. Jacob Pullen, 6-foot senior, dropped 38 points on the number one team. Stunned them, 84-68. Now how do you like being number one? Pullen was 5-for-6 from the three-point range, 15-for-19 from the free-throw line. The team shot over 56%. Senior, 6-foot guard, Pullen. Talking about the difference between the first time they played and now, cut one.
I felt like we just went there to get blown out and get out of there. I felt like we didn't bring any energy. We didn't feel like we had a chance. This game, walking into the locker room, it was a different feeling than last time. There you go. Guys, great. And they were number one. Kansas was number one for a couple hours. Enjoy that one. It's nice. Hey, not the only team to get rolled last night. Two-time defending champions, Los Angeles Lakers, destroyed by the Bobcats' worst loss of the season. 109-89, the Lakers dropped the game. Kobe Bryant was sick, didn't even come out for pregame shoot-around, came out and played, should have stayed in bed. Missed 11 of his first... Wow. Missed 11 of his first 16 shots. You know, Bobcats own the Lakers. The only other team that have a losing record for the Lakers is the Celtics. But for whatever reason, this new franchise just owns them. Lakers are just 5-8 all-time against the Bobcats. Afterwards, bad scene in the locker room, bad scene by the coach. We will play you the entire post-game press conference from Phil Jackson. Cut to. I just have this to say. We're very disappointed in our performance tonight.
We're embarrassed about what we did, and that's it. Thank you. That's it? That's it. That was the entire postgame. Kobe went out the back door, didn't even talk to reporters. Like I said, Lakers, worst loss of the season. Bobcats destroyed them. 109-89. That's sports brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. You know it's the perfect blend of flavor and heat. I want to know why it is that with baseball, with football, they wear gloves. But in basketball, you don't see a glove. Why? Ball's too big. The size of the glove to actually catch it and then be able to pass it would be so monstrous. It would actually block who the players are. And, of course, players want to be seen in basketball. It's also why they don't wear helmets in basketball, Mikey. Good idea. Little known fact. I like it. But it won't hurt your hand either. Baseball will. It would hurt my hand. I have dainty hands. Well, it's true. 570-1949 is our number. Janet Jackson. She was on the Today Show. And, oh, by the way, in about four minutes. I'm going to play you the audio. Don't know if you've heard about this. Huge news today. They thought that a reporter for a CBS station in Los Angeles had a stroke live on TV. Turns out she didn't. Right. But when you hear this audio, you're going to wonder, well, what is it? And they don't know. So anyway, we'll play that for you coming up here in just a minute.
Joe Jackson used to make her call him. He wrote, an essential part of this story is rooted in my inability to confront Joseph. Talk to me about that. What do you want to know? I want to know. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. They're all the same. They sound. Exactly the same. Dude, it's like they're all from the same family. It's crazy. It's almost like they're all from the same family. It's like they're brothers and sisters or something. My father was never there the way I really wanted a father to be. I would see my friends interact with their dad, and I would say to myself, that's what I want to do. I want to be able to sit on his lap. I want to be able to call him dad. You call him Joseph, right? Yeah, he said that's my name to you. You call me Joseph. You don't call me dad. I tried it once. You call him dad? Yeah. And what happened? Well, that's exactly what happened. What you just said. He said, I'm Joseph to you. You did not call me dad. Weird. So strange. Bizarre. Everybody in that family has the exact same voice. It doesn't matter if it's Michael.
Latoya, Janet, Tito, Jermaine, Blanket, Paris, or Prince. My wife and I were watching an interview that Oprah did with the family, and she interviewed Blanket and Paris and Prince. And Rebecca goes, what on earth? lets you name a kid Blanket. That's not his name. It is. No, his name is Prince. It's the same as his brother's, but they called him Blanket because when he was little, he went everywhere with this one blanket. Are you sure? I'm 100% positive. Is it strange that his name is Prince? Yeah, what's worse? It's not Blanket, it's Prince. It's the same as his brother. Blanket would be weird. They both are named Prince? Prince, formerly known as Blanket. Yeah, formerly known as Blanket. The artist formerly known as Blanket. Michael named them Prince because he was the king of pop. So he's the prince of pop. Well, that's kind of what I was thinking. King has a prince. Yeah, every king has a prince. That's right. And if it was royalty, then the other one would be Prince, too. What's my daughter's name? Jester. Oh, yeah. Paris is his favorite city. It's not Paris Hilton? No, it's not Paris Hilton. Paris Jackson.
You're 100% right? Yeah. You know that for a fact? Yeah, I watched a special on TLC the other day. Checkmate. She watched a special. Yeah. So, you know, it was like I was in the family. I knew. If I had had another child, I was going to name the other child TLC. But that is not after the Learning Channel. What's that after? It was going to be after the super group TLC with left eye. Like sing Waterfall? That's right. Don't go chasing waterfalls. Same one. Okay. What was it? Left Eye? Do you know the names of them? Oh, boy. Left Eye. Way to put me on the spot, Michael. Tone Loke. No, not Tone Loke. And Onk. Those were the... No. Onk? Yeah. Onk. Chili. Chili was one of them. But the O was silent. Left Eye Chili. T... I almost said T. No. The L was silent. You don't know TV? I'm out. Pass it. We're missing Woods about right now. Oh, come on. He would know the name TV. Oh, TLC. All right, you ready to hear this lady? This is actual audio of this woman, Serene Branson. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. First, let me do this. M1 Joe from San Diego. You there, Joe? Yeah, I'm ready. What was the word of the day? You are correct. Well done.
You just got yourself a $50 gift certificate of the 2011 Ski and Snowboard Mega Sale. You also got qualified for the grand prize of a $250 gift certificate to that. And you got a pair of tickets and pit passes to the AMA Series race at Qualcomm on Saturday. Spend it wisely. There you go. Hang in line, okay? All right, so this is this woman. Now, it's during the Grammys. Her name is Serene Branson. And I will tell you before I even play this for you. What they thought happened to her was that she had a stroke on live TV. It turns out she didn't have a stroke on live TV, but they don't know what happened to her. They don't know what the deal is. Listen to this. Good evening, everyone. I'm Pat Harvey. And I'm Paul Majors. Country trio Lady Antebellum was the big winner tonight with five Grammy Awards. Rapper Eminem, The Big Shocker, winning only two despite ten nominations. CBS 2's Serene Branson is live at the Staples Center with highlights and backstage coverage we're seeing for the very first time. Serene. Well, a very, very heavy, heavy-bertation tonight. We had a very Darrison bite. Let's go ahead. What? Don't know. They don't know. Are you kidding me? Maybe she's, like, new and is just so nervous. Light came on the camera. I mean, you see it in movies happening. You freeze, and you're like, you know? But that was pretty.
pronounced, dude, like wackiness, you know? Yeah. Did they cut right off of her? No, I mean, that was the end of it. Very, very heavy, heavy flirtation tonight. We had a very Darison. Wow. What? She's been medically checked out? Nothing? Yeah. Well, yeah. Right after the broadcast, there were some paramedics on the scene and they checked her out. They said her vital signs were normal. She was not hospitalized. The only precautionary measure was taken was a colleague gave her a ride home. Said she was feeling fine. Let's go to the terrace for the bed. They had the bed. Wow. How embarrassing. Maybe she knows in her mind, like, man, I was just so nervous. I totally botched that. Everyone's like, let me check your vitals. Are you okay? She's like, yeah, check my vitals. Check my vitals. Immediately, I'm playing the stroke card. I'm going to need to take you home just in case. But I'm okay, guys. I was just nervous. So I wonder what she says. Yeah. Does she think she was saying the right words?
No, she knows that she messed up, I'm sure. But they said that, you know, the next morning she said, look, I'm feeling fine. Maybe the teleprompter was broken. She was reading. Just reading. Why'd you give me this script? Okay, here's some more on her. So she was not new at it. By any means, she started working there July 2006, is a two-time Emmy nominee, and a recipient of the Frank Shakespeare Award for Outstanding Achievement in Journalism. I've been up for that three times. I've never gotten the FS, as we call it. I've gotten it a few times. You're like Susan Lucci. No, it's a different one. Just be a guy to gats a guy. Gee. That's another one. That's another one. It's contagious. Poor girl. I hope everything's okay. Gosh, that's bizarre. That's real weird. Got an email for you. Call in on this, 570-1949, and we'll get your opinions here on the Mikey Show. Mikey Show, you tell me. Am I off base here? My wife told me the other day.
That I look like I've put on 50 pounds since we got married eight years ago. She's wrong. It's more like 70, but who's counting? After our second son, Nathan, was born, I took a breather. I guess I never got back into it. I'm 34 and I'm actually the happiest I've ever been. I'm happy being fat. So my question is, if a guy said this to his wife, wouldn't it be messed up? Can't I just be who I want to be? Is it all about looks? M1 Brian. It's not all about looks, but it can be all about health. Is this about me again? No. You do this every time. Your wife did not write this as M1 Brian. Didn't she? That looks like her typing. Her typing. It looks like her typing. Yeah, I've maybe... I want to know what he says when I took a breather. Most people take a breather, like they step aside, take a breather, and it's like...
Oh, I needed that. Boy, 70 pounds on that breather. Yeah. That was quite a breath. 70 pounds. Once you stop going to the gym, it's so hard to go back, though. It's so nice being away. You're telling me, sister. You're telling me. Well, see, here's what gets me every time. My dad talked to me about it last night. Not about, you know, just in my health in general. You know, and he said, you got to be around for the kids. Yeah. Get a jump rope. Meet me in the backyard in seven minutes. He said it to you? Yeah, but he wasn't specifically talking about my weight. I just knew what he was talking about. What he said was... He wasn't talking about your haircut. Yeah, I know. He goes... Yeah, we were talking about life in general. We were talking about kids. We were talking about fatherhood. We were talking about all that stuff. And he says, you know, you had the surgery this last year. You've had all those infections that you got with your sinuses. He said, you know... And I worry about your health, so you've got to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Now, I'm reading between the lines a little bit. Maybe I put on some poundage. Maybe you took a breather. Maybe I took a breather. Your dad is going through. He's going to be having some procedures and stuff like that. He just wants to make sure while you're young, you know.
You look after yourself. Did you order breakfast this morning? You know what, Jay? I'm just checking. Is this your burrito? Unbelievable. I remember they didn't have any wheatgrass, so he went with the burrito. Oh, so you got the burrito. He was hungry. I was hungry. That is food to Mikey. But didn't you bring healthy? I saw something healthy over there. He's working on a banana. An entire cheesecake is food too. It doesn't mean you need it for breakfast. Jay's the health police. I'm just saying. He is the health police. I'm just saying. is the health police. I'm trying to help you. If you eat anything bad, I built the Great Wall of China in my backyard this weekend. What did you know? Yeah, Jay, get out of here. How's that trainer working out? Jay! What? He's on a breather. Are you on a breather? He's on a breather. It's a big breath. Breather, bender. It's okay, Mike. Everyone in the winter puts on a winter coat. A winter coat. Most of the time it comes off the square. Technically it's still winter, okay? I'm moving towards Alaska for the anchovy, okay? I'm trying to get to Alaska to eat the anchovy, and so I have to put on a few inches of what they call blubber for the journey. There's nothing worse than being cold. That's right. We live in San Diego. I just want to point that out. Fine.
We can't all be jumping around rocks. Here's my deal with the email. It's his wife that is saying. It's not him like some self-review. Ah, maybe I should. When you got a spouse that's saying, hey, look, for better or for worse, didn't know you were tipping the scale this much on the worse. And when you got a spouse that's saying, hey, this is what I'd like you to do, that's. That's my deal with the email. Yeah. And your point is that if it's the spouse, you should probably do something about it. You flip that around and she put on 70 since the I do's. I guarantee you that email has a different tone from his opinion. Well, how does a guy say to a woman? Oh, you don't. I'm just saying. You would have a different email. There's no way to do that. But at 70 pounds, couldn't you say, babe, I'm a little bit. Worried about your health. You know, you still look beautiful to me. You always look beautiful to me. You give her two Valentine's Day cards. LLB, I got a question for you. I got a question for you. Yes. Do you feel that this email was out of line? No. Do you feel that the wife was out of line? No. Okay. Now, now we've established that. Here's my next question. If this email said, Mikey show.
You tell me am I off base here. My husband told me the other day that I look like I've put on 50 pounds since we married eight years ago. He's wrong. It's more like 70, but who's counting? After our second son, Nathan, was born, I took a breather. I guess I never got back into it. I'm 34. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm happy being fat. So my question is, if a woman said this to her husband, would it be messed up? Can't I be who I am? Is it all about looks? Okay. Now you have to, it's a double standard, yes, but you have to take a more delicate tone with a woman because we're very sensitive about it. How? How? If he had said, I'm worried about, you know, your health and us being around for the kids. Like, just the way I said it, you still look beautiful to me, but I can't help but notice and it can't be good for your heart. Mm-hmm. And yada, yada, yada. Are you listening? Yeah, I don't think there's any way.
To say this to a woman. I don't think you should. I know how. When she goes to her doctor's checkup, her doctor will tell her. Jay. I know how. How? Hey, honey, I got us a membership at the gym. I'm going to start working out. You want to come with me? What if she goes, no? No. This is the happiest I've ever been. Let's see here. No, it's not. Let's go to the gym. I think Sienna has a good point. But what if... If she's overweight to where it's dangerous, her doctor will tell her. A guy, the problem is men don't like to go to the doctor usually. My wife let me know in a very cool way that I actually appreciated. She said, oh, that she had packed me hard-boiled eggs, crackers, and cheese for my breakfast. She wasn't sure if the coffee maker was working correctly. And she packed me the egg and cheese and crackers. So that I can be, so that we can be ready. She used the word we. Oh, yeah. So that we can be ready for a vacation. Which I liked. I liked that approach. I liked all of it. No matter what you look like, you always want to lose some weight before you go to Hawaii or somewhere where you're going to be in a bathing suit. Yeah. So should I just eat this burrito out here? You know, Jay. I'm just saying. Jay. Jay. He's so cruel today.
It's a burrito. Wait, wait, wait. Is it because Woods isn't here or you just have to be here? No one's there to put him back in his box. Okay, okay, okay. I give. My deal with the guy is he's talking about his happiness. And when you get married, your happiness comes second. I agree. I mean, and it's her happiness. She's the one that's saying, good or not, she's like, hey, look, this is what I need. And I feel like a hypocrite saying it. My wife's like five pounds different than the wedding weight from 16. I mean, she is gorgeous. She's running like 15 to 20. I will come through the wall. Tell them, CB. She's running the Triple Crown three-half marathons, and I'm the one. Look, I'm 45 pounds heavier than when we got married, and I'm like, dog. She's a gun show. Look at her guns next time you see her. Hey, what are you doing creeping on? I'm taking the headphones out. You're the creepiest creep. Woo! This is Prince, right? Yeah. This is Blanket. This is the artist formerly known as Blanket. I'm going to tell you a story. Yeah. Story done. And when I tell you, I'm going to request that we not bring it up again after I tell it. It's only a request. Yeah, you can request it. It's a request that I have. We'll hear your request. It's a request that I have. Request noted. It's embarrassing. Yes! A couple of people are calling and want to talk about the email.
Sky wrote and said that his wife was telling him he needed to drop some weight. And he said that he's, quote, fat and happy. Likes being fat. I can relate. I guess I can, too. I don't call it fat. I call it chubby. Bacon tastes good. That's the thing. Have you ever had bacon wrapped bacon? Yes. It's delicious. It's really good. I want to try it. You got to try it. You can taste the bacon inside, but you also can taste outside that's got a wrap of bacon on it. That would be good. It's got the slight taste of bacon. M1, Lisa from San Diego. Are you there? Did you say Lisa? Yes, I did. Yes, I am here. What did you want to say about the email? Well, I think that you all are more kind and empathetic than I could ever be, whether it be a man or a woman, that you need to own up and take responsibility. I mean, if you marry someone and they get 45, 50 pounds heavier, you need to say, that's not what I signed up to. I'm going to love you anyway, but sorry, hon. I don't think that you need to be kinder because it's a woman. You can't do that. Yeah, but didn't they, didn't in your vows, didn't you say for better or for worse?
Yeah, you did, but it doesn't mean that you can't point out the worst. Some people lose their hair. Are you going to divorce them? If I hear Lisa, though, Lisa's not getting out of the relationship. She's just saying you have the right to be open and bold, right? Well, exactly. And if they lose their hair, that's a little bit something that they don't have control over. I mean, if they have a glandular problem, sure, you know, that's one thing. But if it's something you have full control over, why should you just give up and not care about yourself? No, you should not give up. No, never give up. As long as there's all-you-can-eat sushi around, that's something I don't have control over. Well, wait. Yeah, that is true. But wait a minute. There's a difference between eating all-you-can-eat sushi and, you know, 10 Krispy Kreme donuts. So, Emma and Lisa. Slight difference. Let me ask you. Yeah. Are you of the opinion that a guy can do that to his wife? Absolutely, a guy can be honest that way. If I'm not sexually attractive or I look horrible to my husband, I want to know. I'm almost a 50-year-old woman, and I weigh the same thing that I weighed in high school. And I work out actively, and I run. L-O-B, what?
I just knew this is coming from the perspective of someone that's never dealt with the weight issue. That's right. Everyone is different. I care. I know. And it's easier for some people. Metabolisms are different. I think that's an excuse. I think you have to take responsibility for your own health. I like what Lisa's saying. I like the way Lisa's saying, hey, I'm not saying I'm out of the relationship. I'm just saying you have the right to say it. What I want to know, Lisa, so if this is a situation and the woman has put on 60 pounds since marriage, Lisa, how does the husband say it in your mind? Honey, I love you, and I'm going to love you any way that you look, and I'm going to be here for you, but I think you need to concentrate more on your health and eating correctly. Sounds good to me. Yeah, well, be easier. Sienna just squinted and shook her head like you, monster. You just keep your eyes on your own paper. I'll say it since Woods is here. It is your own paper. I'll say it since Woods is here. Whatever. It's half your paper. It's half your paper. This guy says he's happy.
Well, who wants to make him unhappy? His spouse isn't happy. And that's the point. I think you have to be able to say it. If no matter what it is in the relationship, it could be weight. It could be any other thing that you're dealing with. It could be work related issues. It could be work. If something your spouse is doing or is or being part of that doesn't make you happy, you have a right to come out. I think you owe it to your marriage. Right. To come out and say, you know what? There's I love you. I love you for this, this, this, this. But you know what? There's an area here that's just bugging me. Can we work on? Don't you think, though, that the person who's struggling with a weight problem knows? Yeah. They already know. It's not like, oh, I'm fat? I didn't know. But maybe this is the kick in the butt they need to go, doggone it, you're right. I'm not finishing this breakfast burrito. Yeah, I'm not going to finish it. I'm not even going to start it. Hypothetically speaking. Jay! Stop throwing Mike into the bus. Oh, Mike has a burrito in there? It's killing me! This person that wrote the email already feels, like, defeated. Tastes good. It does. It tastes good. It tastes so good. That was the siren. Bacon wrapped bacon. Why can't celery taste that good? I don't know why. Why? Well, if he already feels like, yeah, I know. I took a little breather. He's feeling a little defeated. What's not going to give him a kick in the butt is someone being mean to him about it. He needs a little coddling. Is it mean, though? I mean. If there's something about L.O.B., what you do, who you are, what you say, something that bugs the tar out of Matt. I mean, don't you want to know it?
Yeah, but also I think that you have to accept people for their flaws and you can't... Exactly. Accept, but you still want to know. You know what? Yeah, I guess I want to know, but... You'll be so self-conscious then after that. Like, oh great, now I know you think of that, so I'm going to go change in the bathroom. I liked the way that my wife told me. I liked the way that she told me. With the hard-boiled eggs. She's saying the same thing and you guys are going to Hawaii. And she knows it. Listen, she... And I thought she did it cool. Any other way, I would have been sort of bummed. But I thought, that was really cool. She did it in a tactful... Let's get big bathing suit ready. And it has to be wearing this together. She might not buy me a bathing suit. Like two sizes too small. I can't wait to see you in this in Hawaii. It has to be wearing this together. And because you have kids, it has to be for the sake of the kids. Beat around for the kids. Now, granted, she said it. Breakfast burrito. But I. I had breakfast burrito yesterday. You have to be mentally ready to diet. Yes. Well, see. When you're not there. You said it. I like to, you know, have my cheat day. Yeah. I'm on a breather. It's the 80-20 rule. Yes. And yesterday. 80% of the time I eat bad. No. 20% of the time. You got to flip that, son. Yeah. Because if you do 100% eating healthy when, you know, you haven't been eating healthy, then you're going to.
You will eventually snap on all the things you've been denying yourself. You'll die. You'll die from eating too healthy. You'll see a chip and you'll be like... You'll snap. And then you'll start to binge on everything you denied yourself. You know what's really unusual? And you guys tell me what you think about this. There are some people that even when they gain weight, they still look pretty good. Like, they're still sexy. There are other people, myself, I'll put myself in this category. I look, you know, L.O.B. There are other people like me. I definitely look better with less of me. Most people do look better. You know what, though? But there are some people, even when they're bigger, they still are very pretty. Well, they still have muscle. They've got muscles and they're still working towards a goal, but they're just a little heavier. There's some women, though, and some men. Well, it's mostly women that they still look really pretty even when they're bigger.
You know what I mean? Voluptuous. Voluptuous. We all have a size that we're supposed to be. And when you're usually at that weight that you are meant to be is when you look the best. If you get too skinny, you can look bad. If you get too big, you can look bad. I never had to deal with it too skinny. It's never been an issue for me. But this is M1. M1 Mommy is 3. Is that right? Mommy of 3. Mommy of 3 from Vista. What's going on? I just, you know, I kind of caught the last end of the story, but I'm in an opposite situation where my husband's gained 60 pounds since we started dating, and I love him for who he is, and I fell in love with him for who he is, and I'm still totally just as physically attracted to him as when we started dating. We need more women like that. Are you at all worried about his health, though? Yeah, I am worried about his health, and I do try to feel good for him. Um, but you know, I'm not going to sit there and be his mom and tell him, this is what you need to eat. Cause you know what? He's a grown man and I love him and I love him for who he is. And you know, he's, he has some, you know, self-confidence issues. And I tell him, I love you for who you are. I'm down with that approach. I love that you love me for Haraya.
CB got a real sweet text from his wife. I just got another one. I'm racking up. The first one like 20 minutes ago, I love you just the way you are. And this last one, you are hot, baby. She so wants me to lose some weight though. Women are so sweet. We are. It's hard to lose weight. We are. We really are. Jay does not have the same, you know. He's brutal. You don't have the same metabolism I have. He's a skinny guy. He builds concrete walls for a hobby. His whole family is so fit. I do. If I don't go outside and stuff, I definitely gain weight. Oh, gee. I've always worked out. I've always run or I mountain bike every weekend. Some people have better genes, though. I think it's just whatever you apply yourself to. Yes. I apply myself to Phil's Barbecue. Yeah, you sat on the couch this weekend. I went on a 22-mile bike ride. That's true. It's true. It's comfier. And I surfed twice, once on Friday. Now you're just showing off, Jay. Saturday morning. I did get out this weekend, which is a story I have to tell you. I took the kids with Rebecca to Legoland. That's exercise. Good for you. A lot of walking around. Yeah, this is what it sounds like when I'm at Legoland. Kids, there's nothing up that hill.
Does Legoland have a lot of hills? I've never been there. I've never been either. Like the zoo is very hilly. Does it have a treadmill made out of Legos? No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Have snack bars. We went to Legoland. They got this little, you know, Jay. You did go to the snack bar, though, right? Yeah, I did. I got a pizza there. Perfect. So. So what? What? What? Kids got the pizza. They go up and get shakes, drinks. Right. They're going to be like 14 and they're going to like, what do you mean? There's rides at Legoland? Yeah. Because dad just eats there. Milkshakes. So we went to Legoland and I was taking Lukey, my one and a half year old, up these little stairs that go up to a little playhouse. And there's stairs that are tiny. You just call it a house. I just call it a house. And there's these mini stairs. I just call it stairs. There's these little stairs that go up to the playhouse. And I'm walking Lukey up there. And I have on a pair of...
jeans that are frayed on the bottom. Accidentally frayed. Not purposefully. Just give it up. People would think you're like my bell bottoms or something. No. You know how the... You step on your jeans with the back of your shoe. Yeah. Because the waist on most of your jeans shouldn't fit a two foot leg. And so they're no longer. They're going to catch the heel every now and then. Two foot leg. You need to get those tailored, Mike. Yes. So they caught under my shoe and I tumbled down the little miniature stairs. You tumbled down? How many stairs? Three mini stairs. Four. With a line of little kids behind you. Did Luke fall? No. Were they made of Legos? So you fell. Yes. And Luke, your one and a half year old didn't. He didn't like pull you down or anything like that because he tripped. That's where you get up and go, oh, stop pushing daddy. Did he point and laugh at you? No, he did not. Did anybody else in the vicinity point and laugh at you? No, but, true story, a Japanese tourist took a photograph of me. It was a true story. True story. Was it an action photo? Click, click, click, click, click. You can probably Google that.
I see you on the floor of the baby stairs in the fetal position. I can't make eye contact. I can't make eye contact. How quickly did you pop up? I did that on purpose. I totally did that all the time. I know exactly what you did. Of all things, of all things, my arm hurt. Like, of all things, I'm like, I don't know how I hurt my arm on the way down. My legs. Try to save yourself. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. They took a picture? Yeah, there was a woman. Why do you want a picture? Well, why wouldn't you want a picture of that? I would. Wouldn't you want a video of that right now? Well, because I know him and I would want it. Mm-hmm. They're like, look at this guy. And it was only your own. Look at the American, well, Mexican man. Only your own. Mike, knowing you, you stood up and immediately pulled your shirt down to make sure nothing was hanging out. Percentage of chance. Percentage of chance. Plumber crack was gone.
It was one of the worst experiences. Oh my gosh, I bet. Of my life. And I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say, I wanted to say like. Is that necessary? You should have. Oh, absolutely necessary. You should have just punched him in the face. It was a woman. Give me that. It was a woman. Better yet. It was a, and in all fairness, I don't know that it was a Japanese tourist. It was an Asian tourist that took a photograph of me. And when I fell. There's nothing worse than falling in public. No. Yeah, there is. Tumbling down kiddie stairs. And having a picture taken. And having a picture taken of you. Maybe they thought you were like someone famous. Guaranteed. Maybe they thought they might have recognized you from the many billboards around you. The Asian business woman went home to Japan or whatever. And she's like, look, I went to a place called Legoland. She's going to the picture. I saw Danny DeVito fall down the stairs. I see Danny DeVito fall down the stairs.
Imagine her whole family pointing and laughing. Of course. Of course. I wonder if it'll end up on like a Japanese billboard. And you don't get caught with your pants down. $40 it ends up on the Japanese, you know, funniest home videos. Chubby Mexican-American falling down at Legoland. At Legoland they have that. Baby stairs. On the top of Legoland, they have that place, the fort, where all the kids can play and climb. I go in there with my kids, and they have a slide that comes right down the middle. Straight slide, flat now to the bottom. One of those tube slides where all the parents hang out. And I've done this twice, and I told myself the first time, don't do this again. But I go down that slide. Got stuck. Not quite stuck. But I stop way before the entrance. And because I'm laying down, you can't bend up. And so you just kind of got to scoot yourself. And so all of the parents are there. And they say, okay, here comes some flip-flops, some ankles, some knees. And then you feel the kids coming down behind you. And I'm doing the inchworm. That's me. My weight and my jeans stop me halfway through the slide.
Lesson learned. Can you send one of the kids down, please? This is not very slippery. You guys have a plunger for this? Can we get some butter in here? Can somebody pour some lesson oil? Can somebody pour some lesson oil? Flavored. Please. We were at Chargers headquarters. They just won one of the big games. It was a couple years ago. And all the radio stations were out there, parked out there. All the news cameras were out. And there was like a couple thousand people outside Chargers headquarters. So the bus pulls up and the Chargers are getting off. And here comes A.J. Smith, right, stepping off the bus. He trips on the curb. He's like 61. Yeah. Trips and just full on slides across in a suit. Slides on his knees and then everybody's going to pick him up. No one laughs. No. Nobody laughs. Honestly, I like a good fall, but it was not funny. It was not funny. I felt so sorry for the poor guy. A rich, older gentleman in a suit falls. No one takes pictures. Yeah. Mikey comes tumbling down Jack and Jill's house. Or he tripped on baby stairs. It's not enough that I trip in public.
I tripped on baby stairs. And my arm hurts. My arm hurts. Where was Rebecca during this? Was she there? She was there and Nita was there. Nita saw the aftermath. She got to see the... Oh, it was awful. That's okay. Later that night, Rebecca's trying to cuddle. You're like, babe, my arm. I fell down the baby stairs. Babe? I got my baby surgery. She's like, you're baby aspirin. Mike, you can't push it. You're overdoing it. I mean, you walked all the way from the pizza place to the baby. You should have known. Come on. You shouldn't have tried those heights. Take a break. Did you say baby aspirin? I see children's Motrin. 5701949. Rebecca had one of the greatest ones ever in terms of trips. San Marcos, when she was going to UC San Marcos. And you guys know Rebecca. She's all dressed nice and everything. And she's very proper. She was with her friend Lori. And they were walking across the street at UC San Marcos. And Rebecca caught her heel on something. And she said it wasn't just a fall. It was one of those cartoonish, all the books up in the air. And then just flat down.
To this day, Lori still says one of the funniest things she's ever seen in her. And she said she couldn't help it. It happened to the best. She couldn't help it. She laughed tremendously. You can't help it. Yeah. If it's funny, you're going to laugh. My fall was so bad at the Elfin Forest that Matt didn't laugh right away. And I couldn't get up because I was. laughing so hard. I was like crying and I was like, wait, wait. He said he's like, if I would have had that on videotape, I would just watch it over and over. He's trying to be Rico Suave with you, but inside he's like, I can't wait to tell the buddies. And one rude dude from Vista. You there? I'm here. Go ahead. So, I'm not sure what it is, what their obsession is, but... Two stories. When my wife was younger, I don't know, she was probably eight or nine or something like that, her and her friend were at a camp somewhere in the mountains. She's sitting on a bench near a bus stop waiting for something, and a bus full of Asian tourists comes by, and literally the entire bus gets off the bus. They, one at a time, will sit next to her and take pictures. So every single person on the bus had taken a picture sitting next to the little American girl on the bench. Oh, my God. Wow.
Well, I mean, you're a tourist. You're allowed. That happened to me in Vegas. I was just on the phone in the casino talking to Matt. And just a group, it was like four or five Asian tourists, and they were just taking pictures of me while I was just standing there on the phone. Well, you're very different looking for, you know, back in Japan, you don't see a lot of blonde, blue-eyed girls. So, you know, it's kind of a cool thing. You take pictures, you remember it. 20 years from now, they'll be watching that with their kids. They'll be, look at this woman. Yeah. This woman was 5 foot 7 inches tall. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and really different looking. Radio charades on the way. We're going to talk vasectomies. Okay? Wow. What do you mean we? We are going to talk vasectomy. I'll tell you why. Because this is a thing that has to do with... Any guy that's getting to the age where, am I done? Am I done? Are we done? Story to follow. We have to talk vasectomy here in just a moment. We don't have to. We do.
But first, Sienna, what's going on in news? A quick update on the awful accident outside of the Stingery Nightclub on Saturday morning around 1.50 in the morning. A cab driver came crashing into a group that was outside on the sidewalk. One woman was pinned against the wall. They thought initially that her leg had to be amputated. But as of today, surgeons... It's come out that surgeons were able to save the woman's leg. That's great. So just great news. Great, great news. Also, the median home price in San Diego County has dropped 8.7% in January. The median price is now $304,000 from $333,000 in December. And really quickly, San Diego County's homeless numbers have risen. Actually risen 3.3% since last year. Really? Just a little something for you to know. Woodsy is out today because he is doing stuff that has to do with the adoption of their son, Connor. And my friend CB is filling in. What's going on in sports? Sports update brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Put it on anything you want to taste more better.
Charger fans, don't know if you heard, but this weekend, wide receiver Legadunane was arrested in Indianapolis early hours Saturday morning. Apparently, he came across a crime scene, had alcohol in his breath. Authorities told him to leave. He would not leave the scene repeatedly. So they needed to arrest him. When going to arrest him, he tried to break away. They had to subdue him with pepper spray. Not a good scene at all. He was handcuffed, led to a squad car. Where according to police, he kept repeating, do you know who I am? I'm an NFL player, and I'm going to sue your fill-in-the-blank. Could have sounded like this. Cut through it. I don't know who the hell I am. Yeah, it could have sounded like that. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. You're Legadoo Nane, you told us. But you're not an Indianapolis Colt, and even if you were, it probably wouldn't get you off. Not a good card to play in Indianapolis. Chargers released a following statement that said, of course, they're disappointed to hear about it. They'll see where the situation goes. From the Jersey Shore? Yeah. More NFL talks. Don't get this. Owners and Players Association still in a heated debate trying to figure out what's going on. Players brought something that they thought would work on the table. Owners got up, walked out. Right now, we'll give you a live update from the talks. It sounds like this. Man, I hope there's going to be a season next year. We know that both sides actually need more money. So hopefully they can get it taken care of and done.
I don't think there's going to be a season, man. I'm telling you. Oh, don't sue. I'm telling you the way it looks right now. They can't talk. They can't even talk. I don't get it. If you graduated from Harvard Law and a Ph.D. in labor relations, let me know what the heck is going on. I just know that players need to get paid more money. Owners need to make a little money. I mean, it's a poor state. I understand. They're working for peanuts right now. Are you kidding me? So here's the story. You know, we have three kids. The first boy is Jake. He's four years old. Jake. Yeah. Jake is high-functioning autistic. Great kid. Love that kid. He's a great kid. So cute. And then we have year-and-a-half-old twins, Luke and Ryan. And Luke and Ryan are great. And it's a handful. Yeah. No girls, though. No girls. No girls. Not yet. If twins don't make you cut the cord, then nothing will. Well.
Here's the deal. I can see Rebecca with a little girl. Sweet little, like a little blonde girl. I see Mike. Comes home, little spring dress, little flip flops with the flower and it running. Oops. Oops. Where'd I go? How dare you guys? I'm just saying. Wouldn't that be so sweet, picking up a little mini Rebecca from preschool? Hi, Daddy. As the boys want to just beat on you, she just wants to sit on your lap and pull on your go-to. Daddy's a little girl. Papa, tell me a joke. So Rebecca and I talked about it and we said, listen, we're done. We're done having kids. Who's done? We're done. It was her thing. She said, we're done. She said, I can't do this anymore. You know, it's very difficult. You know, they require. One is so much work. Let alone three little ones. So we decided that I was going to be the one that would. Do something about it. Take one for the team. I was going to take one for the team. She's taken three so far for the team. Absolutely. And so I decided I was going to take one for the team. Now, I have talked to a lot of guys that have had vasectomies, okay? And CB being one of them, he says... Isn't that my right to bring that out in the air? Apparently not. I guess it's too late. When you fill in, you just get it all out there. Too late. And so I had talked to a bunch of guys about it. The consensus was...
It hurts. You think? It hurts. So does having a baby, but your wife did that? No, I understand. It didn't preclude me from having it done. I was just gathering information. I just wanted information. And the information that I was getting was, A, it feels like you got kicked hard by a horse. Okay, and I mean that was consistently said by various guys. A horse? A donkey. Okay. Well, I did exaggerate. A miniature pony. A miniature pony. A miniature pony. An elf. That's more likely. Okay. A tiny horse-like creature. An elven horse-like creature. But they did say that. And they said the bag of peas thing. Oh, yeah. Frozen peas. Frozen peas. And one friend of mine said it was really bad. Oh, boy. As in, took four months to recover. Wow. Infections. A lot of peas. Horror story. Oh, an infection? Horror story. Yeah. Okay, but then I talked to my friend CB. CB says, mine was fine. No problems. Mine was no big deal either. I'll actually do it again. Oh, wow. You can do it again. Just for the attention. Dude, my wife treated me like a king. I mean, she felt so bad. And I had the couch, sports center, anything I wanted. It didn't matter where she had to go to get it. It was a great weekend. Well, when I heard that he had a positive experience and that it wasn't that bad, I said, fine.
I'll do it, and I will get the name of CB's doctor, and it'll be a done deal. And so I said to her, hey, listen, I'm talking to CB. I'm going to get this doc's name. And she goes, I decided I don't want you to do it. Rebecca? Yeah, Rebecca. Says, I decided I don't want you to do it. And I go, what? And she goes, I don't want you to do it. Why? She's been spending time with Sage. And I said, I thought that you said that we didn't want more kids. And she goes, I don't. And I go, well, then what do you mean? And she goes, I just want the option. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, that's how Jasper was born. For a little girl. No. Yeah, we talked about getting the vasectomy, and we both went back and forth on it, and we said, okay, one more. And Jay had three, and then they stopped. You can't read between the lines? She's sending you a hard-boiled egg and cracker right now. She wants another, but just not for a little while. Get the twins growing up a little bit more. The option. Right now it's crazy. You've got twins that are small. Oh, for sure. And it's a crazy house. But she's seeing, like, you know what? There's a little light at the end of the title. Did you guys think that she's going to actually want another kid? 100%. Yes.
As soon as she gets out of this crazy land that she's in. Once the little ones grow up a little bit, she'll want a little baby around. The only way that, first of all, I don't make girls. All I make is boys. Aren't there ways around? Hey, I went girl, girl. Amy was done at two. Two. She was so happy. Two little girls to take to the beach with her. And I'm like, it seems like all I do is girls. You got to try. You got to try. One more try. It'll be a boy. It'll be a boy. I know you have four boys. It'd be great. You could try different things to make it happen. She said that she wanted to do this thing called spinning. Yeah. What is this? Because Todd thinks he can only have girls. No, no, no. You can spin. And what they do is they actually spin the sperm and it separates the male chromosomal sperm from the female chromosome. But I won't do it because I'm not playing God. Really? But you'll get a vasectomy and that's not playing God? Yeah. Taking birth control. Playing God again. Well done. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you'll play God in one direction. You just won't play God in the other. Is it? Because he doesn't want any more kids. I don't think it's playing God. I think it's just using modern science technology. My kid gets hurt. I'm taking him to the ER. I'm not going to sit there and go, whoa, I'm not going to play God. Yeah, there you go. I mean, I know he needs 10 staples in his head, but that's not up to me. You're just taking advantage of what's out there. Is she going to want more? Oh. If she didn't.
You'd have frozen peas by now. Yeah. My wife called, made the appointment from the delivery room after three. She's like, do you need any water? Maybe a couple of eyes. She's like, I need the phone. Is that boy over there healthy? Give me the phone. Liberty and Finn were so close that we decided we were done, but we didn't do anything about it for a long time. And then we finally started thinking it was like 11 years. We're like, hey, let's have one more. Wow. After 11 years. I would. I would love to have one more. I mean, I got three. It's crazy. But that boy, it's like if I would have known it was another boy. I mean, girls are getting ready. You're going to school right now. Dad loves you. I usually drop you off. Be good. Barrick, listen to mom today. Don't give her a hard time. So with that said, yeah, I mean, there's something I sometimes I'm like, and there may be down the road. We look at like what Woods is doing. Question. Question. Because, you know, I felt bad until I actually heard you say this. And then I was like, I'm not the only one. I don't do the whole infant deal. Not at all. Didn't like him. Didn't like any of my kids until around 11 months. How great is that? I liked them, but they weren't as much fun for sure. When you said that, I go.
holy cow, I'm not the only one that feels this way. My first kid, I felt bad. I mean, everyone told me, the moment you hold that baby, you're just... And I sat there. Amy gave birth. They did the little shots, draw blood. I wasn't cool on that. Someone hurt my kid in the first two minutes in the world. But I'm sitting there rocking my little baby, looking at her, going, when am I going to feel it? Yeah. First month came, second month came, third month, and I'm like, I'll change, I'll help. But I just didn't engage in this little... I mean, Amy was amazing. And I sat and watched the whole thing going, Okay. But I tell you, man, when she started to interact with me, when I first born started, and I was like, oh, oh. Yeah. And so second one, I thought maybe, sure enough, same. By the third one, I'm like, ah, I'll see you in 12 months. That was it for me. Yeah, I just. As soon as, now, maybe some dads are different or whatever, but that was me. That was me. I think it's definitely, that will happen more with a man than it will. for a woman because they've got that bond in the womb and everything. But I've heard that from plenty of... I've heard that, you know, until the kid was three years old. Every stage has gotten better, better, better. Don't I have a... Isn't it okay, though, to have a sort of, like, sober enough mind to say, listen, I'm too selfish to be a dad to an infant again. Is that...
No? Yeah? Yeah. It is. I think you're allowed to have an opinion and not want any more kids. And that's kind of what it sounds like you want. Like you don't want any more. She's not telling you that she wants kids, but she wants to leave the option up there. Because when Jasper turned, we were done. When Jasper turned five, Kim said, gosh, I would like one more. And I was like, are you crazy? And she actually looked into the procedure to have the vasectomy reversed. Seven grand. And it's not even guaranteed. It's kind of dangerous. Fitty, fitty. Yikes. I just told her. I said, I'll do it myself. Yeah, so I did. I just reversed it myself. Jay. Saw that brick wall I made? That's right. Yep. I don't need no seven grand reversal. Just got to work out the footer. That's right. The problem is when you love kids and you've had them and then you see another baby, it's like there's nothing you want more than just you held a baby and it's like a drug. You need more. When your youngest one starts, it's moving out of the toddler age and you miss that little, that two-year-old, three-year-old stage was just money where I used to walk them up little steps and fall down. That's my best friends. M1 Riches from San Diego. You there?
Yeah, I am. How are you? Good. Go ahead. Five years ago, I had a child, and when I was pregnant with her, I decided, you know, I don't want to have to have any more cesareans. Two is enough. I didn't want two in the first place. You know, get a vasectomy. And my husband's like, heck yeah, I'm all over the vasectomy. He gets a vasectomy two months after she's born, and the past two years, I keep telling him, should we get it reversed? Should we get it reversed? And I seriously want two more kids. I want four kids now. Two more. Whoever thought, yeah, two. I feel like my family's not complete. For some odd and no reason, I just had this incomplete feeling. You know what, Riches? It's so strange that you said that. Because Rebecca goes, she goes, this is the weirdest feeling in the world. She goes, I feel like there's one missing. And I'm like. What is this crazy talk you talk? I was on the table, procedure going. And I was good with it. They make you watch a video like 48 hours ahead of time, just kind of a cooling down period so you can't just rush in and get this thing done. And I'm like, okay, we've got the two girls, got the boy, we're fine. On the table, procedure happening. And I got this image.
The old war scenes where the helicopter comes in and grabs the guys from Vietnam. They all jump in. It takes off. And as they're leaving, they look down, and there's one guy running through the jungle. And you realize we left a man on the field. That is in my head. Procedure. And I just realized, I mean, my legacy, the Browns. I just look and go, you've got a boy, though. Yeah, but I just felt like I left a man on the field. I mean, it was weird. I still to this day go, well, that was permanent. Well, Mike, sounds like you're having a fourth year pretty soon. No, no, no, no, no. It sounds like. Just hold out. No, the beauty is. Wait. There'll be twins. Honestly, like Katie Triplett. I have that fear. It seems like twins are more common than they've ever been now. I know so many people that are having twins. And I'd like to just have one more. But I'm like, I'm going to have twins if I try again. Yeah. I don't think I can do two more. Oh, my gosh. See, my wife's hearing this. She's freaking. She's done. Two was done. Three was overdone. Done. Yeah. That's how I feel. Well, you might feel differently. So what are you going to do in the meantime? In the meantime, use birth control. Oh, okay. Yeah. Keep playing good. Good. Oh, wow. That's what this guy says. M1 Michael from Encinitas. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Go ahead. Yeah.
It's kind of funny that you guys are talking about the whole getting snipped, snipped. I'm about to have my first daughter. God bless. She's going to be a beautiful girl. I take that to her dad and her mom. Be a man, man. It's not natural to get snipped, man. Use a condom. No way. No way. Not for the rest of your life. Not for the rest of your life. Of course not. Of course not. Brutal. And, you know, listen, if that's the deal and you want to have more kids and you want to hold out the chance to have more kids, just don't get snipped. Marriage is about unwrapping the gift, not keeping the... That's right. That's right. That's right. Imagine the joy you would feel, Mike, if Rebecca said, babe, we're having a little girl. I got you. Rebecca's listening right now. It's done. She'd be a little mini-me Rebecca. Seats so adorable. Blonde hair, olive skin. These three big brothers to protect her everywhere she went, man. All in. She had these linebackers in front of her just walking through the crowd. You guys. You'd be putty in her hands. First of all, and this is what I have to say to Rebecca, who I know is listening. A, we are right about to turn car seats around. Which I'm really stoked about.
Luke and Ryan's car seats are two weeks from being turned around, meaning they're getting bigger. Got to turn the car seats around. Second of all, there are three car seats in the car right now. Well, you just wait till those, you know, Jake's not going to be in a car seat. Or get a minivan. He just almost threw up. You have to say what you need to. Like, Todd thinks he can only have girls, and I say... Babe, you're so athletic. We could have an NFL quarterback. Oh, my God. We could have the next Tom Brady. We could have. Does that get him? He's like, oh, I mean. He's like, no, we're done. No. We'll see. We'll see about that. Well, so that's the one thing I think is I think. We're almost out of the woods. We're almost out of the woods. We're almost out of the woods. And then I'm thinking to myself, if we have a fourth kid, and then I think to myself. Where are they going to stay? Where are you going to put them? Sharing rooms. Kids share rooms. Not a girl. The boys doubled up. They started that way. They'll finish that way. My girls share rooms. Best friends. Where are they going to sit in the car? You'll get up in the car.
Oh, my gosh. Jay has four kids. A lot of people have four kids. But it's suburban. Lauren does one of five. I think you've got to step back and realize you won't be the first person to pull off the four kid. Yeah. It's been done before. I'm one of four. Your parents did it? Oh, I feel like my lips are getting numb. It's freaking me out. You can wait until the boys get a little older, and then they can even help out. Blonde hair, blue eyes, just like your wife. Little dresses. Little curls. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Braids. Daddy. This whole thing is terrifying. Daddy, what are you having? I'm scared. Brushing her hair. A little squatty bald with a goatee. Yeah, what about that? What if that happened? She'd be gorgeous. We'd probably have the first kid that would finally have brown hair and brown eyes. She'd be gorgeous. Nothing wrong with brown hair and brown eyes. That's right. Brown-eyed girl. Pick It Apart is coming up. We're going to play a movie scene and have a little fun with it. We're going to...
Still got to recap what happened on Valentine's Day with Sienna and LLB. It's coming up. Pick it apart coming up in a minute. So we got to talk about, first of all, Sienna, I want to know about your Valentines. How it went. We didn't get to your Valentine recap. We didn't get to L.O.B.'s Valentine recap and my Valentine recap. Well, I think it helps when you have a wife that's on the air and says what she wants. Did he get the hint?
Yeah, she said it. But he doesn't always listen, so I didn't know. And he's good. He wants to get me what I want. And I said, you know, guys, I think it would be a good gift if you got your girls. There's a really pretty perfume out there. It's Marc Jacobs Daisy, and it has flowers on it, so it's kind of a cool thing for Valentine's Day. It's not too expensive. And he did. He gave me the perfume. Are you wearing it? I am. Can I smell it? Yeah. Where is it? On my neck. Where is it? Where is it? Where can I smell it on you? Well, I want to see if it was on your wrist or what. Oh, that's nice. Maybe I want to smell it now. Rebecca would wear that because it's light. It's like a very clean, simple light. I don't want anything too much when I'm holding the baby on me all the time. Yeah. Hello, babe. What do we know? I was waiting to tell you this, Mike. What? I got Moroccan food last night. Is that a new necklace you're wearing? Yes, but I got this myself. A cheap necklace. She just made my... heart drop into my stomach? I tried to. You were doing that on purpose? Do you know what she just did? Yeah, because she was going to say, I got engaged. I was going to wait longer, but then your face looked like you might have a heart attack. I didn't even think to look at your finger or anything.
No Moroccan food on your finger. You got Moroccan food. I did. And a real sweet boyfriend that came in and brought you flowers and chocolates. Yeah, he came yesterday. We went to this Moroccan restaurant, and I ripped my tights on the table because they're low to the ground, you know, the table. You sit on the floor. Yeah, you have to sit kind of on the floor. So we get in there, and within 30 seconds, I have two ripped knees. I'm like, perfect. It's great. No belly dancer. It looks real good when you're walking out, too. Yeah. Maybe a chocolate ring. What's the song that says, if you like it, then you better put a ring. Beyonce. What is it? Single Ladies. Single Ladies. Well done, Jay. Yeah, Jay. You're a game fire guy. Oh, that's Single Ladies. It's my ringtone. I know music. It's on their third album. Yeah, it's on their third album. It's actually track six. Her third album. Sorry. Sorry. Solo project. Right. Was it when she was with Destiny's Child?
How do you know? But Mike, I was really sweet and romantic. What did you do? So Matt was working all day. He came in the morning and brought me flowers and chocolate and a card and everything surprised me. And then he was working all day, so I went to his apartment. I put out the flowers that he had gotten me. But I had to bring them somewhere. And then I put candles out. I had some champagne and I cut strawberries and put it in there. I got the chocolate, but we didn't get around to doing that because I was too tired and fell asleep. Weird. And then I got him some new dress shoes. I think Lauren and I... did more than guys usually do. I got taught a bunch of stuff, too. Yeah, and I had some soft music playing. Soft music? I had a love mix on. You did? Yeah. What's on the Lauren O'Brien love mix? There was some Nora Jones, there was some David Gregg.
He's like, hey, why don't you put your new dress shoes on? I walk in, I'm just flipping my laptop on. He's like, this is really great. He walks in, it's like, going to the chapel. He's like, hey, babe, this is really loud. I can't hear you. I want to have dinner, but this is... This is where I drop it. No, I know. Watch me drop it. Hey, babe. Ready? It's loud. The music is so loud. I have more dancers. No, I got it. Look at my left hand. No, I can see that. Look at my left hand. It's empty. Babe, it's empty. It's so loud. Oh, that's so funny. That poor guy. I wish I thought of that. That would have been hilarious. I'm sure you would have thought it was hilarious. Are you to that point now where you're just messing with him? No, no, no. No, I did actually the other night at my comedy show. You did? Not on the stage afterwards because M1 Harold was there and he has, you know, like a sound and equipment company, entertainment company, and he gave us his card. He's like, just in case you guys ever tie the knot, you know. That's not awkward. It's not awkward at all. I'm like still waiting and put my arm around him. Oh, wow. Oh, my God.
Wow. That poor, poor man is sitting at his radio shaking his head. It wasn't my fault. It was Harold's fault. Yeah. Maybe he asked. You know who doesn't get called out? No! What? Phoebe, you can't just come in here and make sure about my boyfriend. Won't happen again. He's not ready yet. Wow. Oh, my God. All right. Let's see. Oh, my God. Let's do a little bit of this. We got a little Pick It Apart. We're going to play a little Pick It Apart. Let's do this. Pick it apart. Pick it apart. Pick a part bit of that scene for me. The idea is that we will play a scene from a movie and have a little fun with it. It's a lot like the TV show MST 3000. Love it. It's a great show. Only difference is we are on the radio. The scene today is Jaws. And instead of a shark scene, that's right. Instead of a shark scene, it's the scene where the shark scientist, Hooper, sophisticated young college guy, comes over to Brody's house and they have a talk over dinner. I got red and white. I didn't know what you'd be serving. Oh, that's nice. Is anyone eating this? No.
My husband tells me urine sharks. Urine sharks? Actually, the term is pea sharks. Scientifically, we say urine sharks. Study sharks. Urine sharks is kind of a strange way to put it. I've never heard it quite put that way, but yes, I am. I love sharks. You love sharks. When I was 12 years old, my father got me this boat and I went fishing off the Cape Cod. I stopped listening five minutes ago. I don't care. I'm cooking my goulash. He just spit on the plate. I hooked a four and a half foot baby thresher shark who proceeded to eat my boat. That's great. That's wonderful. I'm a big loud nerd. It was inflatable. My seat cushions, he turned an inboard into an outboard. And I swam back to shore. And when I was on the beach. I tried to interrupt. No habla inglese. You're funny for some reason. I turned around and I actually saw my boat being taken apart and ever since then, I, yes, I... You're still talking. This is my go-to story at dinner parties. You still have a shark problem here. Why do you have to tell him that? Sorry. I'm sorry. He's a man of many words. And I heard it on the news. I heard it on the cave station. They caught a shark.
Not the shark. Then what did I make for dinner? Yeah, I thought we were eating. There's no pieces of my boat in this shark. The shark. Not the shark that killed Chrissy Watkins. Which I wanted to prove today by cutting the shark open. It's too soon to play the Chrissy Watkins card. It just happened. You know, you want to let that breathe for a... Nothing. Yeah, maybe just don't let it breathe in. Just pour it. Go ahead and pour it. Just keep guzzling. Just keep guzzling it down. It's a little too much wine. It's a lot of wine, actually. You need it for your stories. Yeah. Driving. You know, you're going to be the only rational man left on this island after I leave tomorrow. Where are you going? I'm going to Disneyland. I am going on the Aurora. Aurora? What is that? Oh, aren't you a big deal. Borealis. You heard of it? Lights in the sky. It's a spaceship. Can you take classes to be as cool as you are? You'll also be the best-looking man on this island once I leave. It's a floating asylum. For shark fanatics. Everything's funny to me. Again, it's my fake laugh. I don't care. Asylum's the funniest word I've ever heard. Crazy. Pure research. 18 months at sea. Martin hates water. Martin can't speak for himself. Martin doesn't like me too well right now. Martin doesn't have a mouth. Maybe Martin says you get. Because it's in his car.
When we go on the ferry to the mainland. Martin is being emasculated. Martin's on his second bottle. There's a tail between his legs. I guess it's a childhood thing. There's a clinical name for it, isn't there? Drowning. Oh, Martin May. Cut you right to the point, that Martin. Yeah, Martin. There you go. You stupid broad. It's called drowning. It's called death. I'm scared of you. I'm going to attack my sharks in three feet of water. About 10 feet from the beach. You sound like you're ready to drive. Yeah. So why don't we... Yeah. And before people started to swim for recreation, I mean, before sharks knew what they were missing, a lot of these attacks weren't reported. Back in the 1400s. There were sharks coming up through the toilet and biting you while you're sitting. That's right. Hey, by the way, Jay, what were sharks like in the 1400s? Yeah, were they nice? They were a lot nicer. Bigger or smaller? Could you ride on them? You could ride them. Yeah, we rode them to work. Oh, wow. That's right. In the stunt court. He swims alone. Rogue. What's it called? Rogue. Rogue. This guy, he keeps swimming around in a place. Rogue wave. Rogue. Garrett. Garrett. It's good until the food supply is gone. It's called territoriality. I knew it was a big word. It's also called La Jolla. It's happening right now. Theory that I happen to agree with.
Then why don't we have one more drink and go down and cut that shark open? Yeah. You're driving, right? It's a mammoth shark. We have two guys and a rope. It should be no problem. Call you a shark cab? No. Can you do that? You can do anything. I'm the chief of police. Easy, big time. I got a gun. I'm glad I told you to stop talking. The chief of police. Call in about this one if you'd like, 570-1949. What's up, Mikey Show? I have to call my wife out on something, and I'm wondering what your take is. Uh-oh. My wife wears yoga pants everywhere we go. What are yoga pants? You know what they are. I do not. They're like the stretch pants that flare. Just stretch pants? Yeah, they're like tight, black. But they usually flare at the end, too. Yeah, they flare.
You know, they're cute. They're cute. He says, my wife wears yoga pants everywhere we go. You know what I'm talking about, right? Well, now we do. He says, they're those tight black pants that chicks work out in. Yeah, she wears those constantly when we go out to dinner, grocery shopping, pick up our kids. All in. And obviously to the gym. I keep telling her that I miss when she would dress up, and her response is, these pants are nice and they're expensive, too, over $100. She looks good in the pants, but not every day. Help me out, guys. M1 Liam. Yikes. I was okay with everything except to out to dinner. But they cost over $100. Yeah, that'll happen. Pants for yoga cost over $100? That's crazy. These ones did. Shut up. Are you kidding me? Really? Yeah. Don't say what brand new. They're Juicy Couture. No. I shouldn't say what brand new. I don't know. We can't, I guess. Why not? Why is that that bad? It's a well-known, any girl would know. Oh, Wrangler. Oh, Walmart. No, it's Lululemon. I was going to say that. Oh, Lululemon. That's right. Lululemon. Could have been Susu Orange, but I was like, it's going to be one of the two. That's Lululemon. But the material is really nice. They're so comfortable. Ta-ta, tangerine. Tangerine.
They're really comfortable and you can wash. A lot of the yoga pants that are the cheap ones, you wash them a couple times and they lose that elasticity. Yeah, you want them tight. Yeah, you want them tight. You want them breathable. Yeah. That's creepy, Uncle Jay. That is true. It is. Lululemon will tailor them for free. I think we're back to the same thing. Well, I just, you know. I don't want to see that every day. And his thing's not like how they fit on her. He doesn't want her showing that public. He's like, I just want you to dress up every day. No, no, no. I think he's just like, really? With the sweatpants and everything? They're better than sweatpants. They're not sweatpants. At least they're not sweatpants. Well, they look like. I mean, everyone else out there that doesn't know how much they cost, they're just. Workout pants. Well, you can wear them so many different ways. You can wear them with a long shirt over them with a belt. You can wear boots with them. You can do it all kinds of different ways. I wouldn't wear boots. Yeah, you could make them stylish. You could make them stylish. Yeah, for sure. I have a question. Yes.
Is anyone creeped out by all the different ways Jay knows how to wear these tights? He has two daughters that probably own them and his wife. And my wife. And I occasionally wear them. I occasionally try them off. They're under my jeans right now. I'm wearing them under my jeans. They're much more comfortable than jeans. They're so comfortable. Mike, you want to try mine on? Yeah. Okay. Now we're back to what we do. Second hour where it's something your spouse is doing. You don't like doing a grief. Can you say it? Can you say it? I think that you let your wife. dress the way she wants it. But you can say, like, babe, put on that dress. I really want to see you wearing that dress when we go to dinner. That's my favorite outfit. But apparently her reply is, but these cost over $100. It doesn't matter. If she's going to spend that much money on pants, she's going to spend that much money on other stuff. I'm sure he has a suit that costs over $100 that he doesn't wear every day. You know what I mean? Of course. If I sell you a bag of poo for $500, would it carry it under your arm? No. Well, if it was Gucci. Yeah. If I had a Gucci label, then yes. If Gucci poo is in, then yeah, I'd wear a Gucci. $500. Despite the stench.
I would carry it. That's right. 5701949 is the number, and you can also text 949mikey at gmail.com. Gym clothes are not acceptable. Not for every place. Outside of the gym. What if she dressed them up? I'm wearing them to work. Really, Sienna? Yeah. I'm wearing them to work. I thought that those were leggings. No, these are yoga pants, and I'm wearing them with running shoes. Can you stand? I did not know this. Can you wear them with a sweatshirt and a hoodie? I want to know. I have a hoodie on. I'm like a bum today. Well, those kind of are like sweat. They're like. Those are the pants. You sit in a studio where no one sees you. That's different than going out on a nice evening. I just, you know, I try. Some days I dress up when I come into work, but some days I just think. You're going to Donovan's like that. No. No, she would. That's the thing. You got to. There's a dress code for places. And as a woman, she should. I would go to like. Is there a dress? Island's wearing this. No yoga pants in here? No sweat. Well, not in here, but if you go to like Donovan's. It says no yoga pants? It's right. Must have shoes and no yoga pants. It's not said, but it's implied. And here's the other thing with this dude. This guy is saying, I don't care that she wears them. She wears them every day. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's annoying. I think you just say, gosh, baby.
Don't say don't wear the pants. I would say, I miss you in that dress. Like, ooh, we put that on tonight. That looks so good on you. It's my favorite. Woods wears a white V-neck T-shirt every day. With his DJs, his designer jeans that he loves. Every day. We all get, some of us are more susceptible than others in getting into the uniform that we wear. Like the thing that you put on after you get home from work and you just wear it around the house. Yeah, me nothing. Yes. For you, it would be a laptop. A laptop. That's what I wear, a laptop. But yeah, it does get kind of old to be like, really, again, with the blue pants and the yellow shirt? Uniform time? Todd and I both have a few outfits that we love, and we just seem to wear those over and over again. I have a million things to wear, but I just wear the same thing. I do the same thing, and then when you switch it up, the guy's like, oh. Look at you. Look at you. Fancy pants. All he's asking is, can she switch it up a little bit? Just tell her. There you go. All right, let's do this. What do we have as a prize, Jay? We have a Mikey Show t-shirt and a pair of tickets to the San Diego Natural History Museum. There you go. Call us right now, 570-1949. We're going to play Radio Charades. Yes. And here's how it works. I will be your eyes, and I will tell you what I see from Sienna and CB and LOB. And, you know, it works just like charades. How many words, the whole bit.
And you get a prize if you can get this in 60 seconds. Now, it's always a movie. The charade is always a movie. Jaws. Well, we'll see. I'll see. I'll watch and I'll tell. 570-1949. Mikey Show, who's this? M1, Erica. Okay, Erica, I'm going to be your eyes and ears. Sienna's going to go first. So Sienna is going to be playing for you this time. And we have 60 seconds. Jay is giving her the word again. It is always, always a movie, okay? Okay. Now, as I'm explaining it to you, you can yell out at any point. You could be just telling me what you think the movie is, okay? Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, we got 60 seconds beginning now and two words. First word, teeth, teeth.
Teeth biting. Jaw. Canine. Enamel. Bone. Jaw. Teeth. Teeth. Tooth. Tooth. Tooth is the word. Tooth is the first word. Second word is I'm flying. I'm flying. I'm flying around. I've got like wings. I've got wings. I'm like a bird. What? No, it's not a bat. The first word is tooth. The second word is she's flying around. She just flew like a little, like a little. Yeah. Wow. A tooth bat. I remember when we went and saw a tooth bat. It's amazing. By Disney. It's a wonderful film. I was like running around flopping my wings. That's good. Good job. You are a winner. Hang on the line, okay?
Awesome. Hang on the line. All right. Next up is CB. CB is going to be acting this out. M1. M1. Wait a minute. M1. Harold, are you there? I'm here. Okay. So if you know what it is, you need to yell it out. Okay. Got it. You have 60 seconds. It's always a movie. Here we go. Two words. Second word. Chest. Body. Body. Me. No. Boy. Boy. Boy is the word. Guy. Man. Man is the word. Man is the first word. Second word. Sorry. Man is the second word. First word now. Ironing. Iron Man. Very well done. Good job. You just won. You just won. Hang on the line. Last is L.O.B. It is a movie. M1 Gorge. Is it Gorge or George? It's George. George. Okay. I was missing an E. Sorry. All right. Hang on the line. No, you can stay there. You're going to have to stay there. There's a lot going on. 60 seconds. L.O.B. is going to act this movie out. If you know, yell it out at any time. Here we go. Okay. Two words. Here comes the first word. She's down on... Oh, she's down on her fours.
She's like a dog. She's surprised. Oh, she's startled. She's looking around. She's on. Oh, she's looking again. She's surprised. She's shocked. She's. Oh, now she's writing. She's writing. She is writing something very carefully on a piece of paper. And she is thinking. She's thinking. She's startled. No, first word now. First word. I'm crawling. I'm hopping. I'm grazing. Pause. Stop. Pause. Stop. Oh, startled. Don't write anything down. Gazing. Gazing. Writing. I don't get it. I know where she's going with this. Bored. No, there's a buzzer. Hey, that's terrible. Poor George. What was it? Dear John. Did you do this? No, that's a moose. So you were trying to be a deer. I'm trying to be a deer in headlights. What do you do for dear John? Sorry, Bob. Sorry about that. Sorry, Gorge. You got ripped, Gorge. Then I was trying to write a letter. Jay, that would...
No. That was easier than she made it look, I think. Sorry. You could have said Wood's favorite song or something. I can't speak. She can't talk. She can't talk. She's doing charades. That was a really hard one. I was going to try to do Taylor Swift, and then I thought I'd throw you off the scent. Her deer was the best thing I've seen. Oh, my gosh. She was on all fours prancing with her eyes open, and then she chewed her eyes real quick. I was trying to be a deer. I was like, afraid, startled. We have to film this from now on. I know we do. We have to film. We have got to film. Poor Gorge. Speaking of, I thought of Peter Rabbit. Yeah, I know. I didn't know how to do Dear John. If Jay had whispered in my ear that the movie was Dear John, I would have thrown up. I just wanted to be a good sport because I didn't want to be like, I figured I'd wait until after. Nobody could get it. New release is coming up. Sorry, Gorge. What did I win? Gorge did not win. What did I win? You didn't win anything. What was I playing for? You're playing for your M1, and you won for him. Why don't you be a team player? You don't get anything. I'll give you a hearty handshake. Yeah, you get a firm handshake. That's it. That's it.
Four-year-old son ever just sing Taylor Swift songs because your wife listens to it. Oh, that's cute. Sweet. A dance classer. You know. Imagine a little girl doing that. Yeah, that'd be cute. Need a baby. Let's see. Hang on a minute. I think I can find it, get it. Somewhere on his phone, he's searching frantically. Chubby little fingers hitting buttons. I've got it. Aw, little Jakey. He's a good voice. Yeah, there's no reason for you to have more. He's such a good singer. Why would you want any more? Put a stop for that, dude. Oh, my gosh. Put a stop for that factory. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I didn't tell you about my Valentine's Day. I'll tell you in a second. Welcome back. Our phone over here if you want to call us is 570-1949. And you can text us 949-MIKEY at gmail.com. Woodsy is out today. And CB's filling in. How you doing?
And, Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, this could be some really good news for some people. If you're looking for a job, if you know anyone who's looking for a job, this morning Home Depot announced that they want to hire 60,000 seasonal workers for the anticipation of a springtime rush. A lot of home improvement happening. So go to Home Depot if you're looking for a job. A little how-to-do-it booth out in front. Exactly. Also, some breaking news that I just saw. student who was convicted of murder in Italy. Her parents were indicted for alleging Italian police abused. Their daughter. This is before she was put in jail. So no one's really commenting on it. Police have denied harming her. But we'll, I'm sure, find out more about that. Also, real quick, Mike, this is for you. If Woods was here, he would like it too. Taylor Swift apparently has written another song about another man. This is the song called Enchanted. I believe it's on her current album that's the most recent one that came out. Mike, you probably know it.
And it's about a guy named Adam Young. It's on the new album? It's called Enchanted. I don't know. It's about a guy named Adam Young who's a member of the group Owl City. She even spells out his name, A-D-A-M, on the CD book. So you know it's about him. And he, yesterday, chose an appropriate time to respond to her writing song. And he wrote on his official blog, you know, how honored he was. And he actually said, everything about you is beautiful, Taylor. You are an immensely charming girl. wonderful heart and more grace and elegance than you know, than I know how to describe. He goes on and on saying you're a modern Cinderella, blah, blah, blah. So we'll see if there's a new relationship for Taylor. Just another notch on her belt. Is the song Enchanted like a mean song? I don't know it. It's the title of her last season. Well, he's saying, you know, he's flattered that she wrote about him. Really, Mr. Beyonce? That's a little more mainstream. Is it? He's obviously flattered, so I'm sure it's a sweet song. Maybe how she has a crush on him. I'm sure. Nice timing to put that on your blog on Valentine's Day. Well, yeah. He said he thought it was a good opportunity to let him know. He said he hasn't stopped smiling. He's utterly smitten. I'm embarrassed that at 40 years of age... You care? Yeah. Yeah. And at 40 years of age, I had a 15-minute conversation with my wife about Taylor Swift and John Mayer last night. And?
At some point today, you'll listen to the song Enchanted so that you can hear it. 1,000%. During commercials? Yes. We'll see if it's any good and maybe play it on the air. Yeah, yes, yes. I'm embarrassed for her that she can only communicate to people through song. I know. Pick up a phone. Yeah, maybe text. Unless it's Jay. Yeah, you have to call me. Got to call. Hear that, Taylor? CB, what's going on in sports? Sports Update brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Perfect blend of spice and heat. Put it on anything. Get some. For more better. Hey, going on right now, actually, Philadelphia Eagles are putting their franchise tag on Mr. Michael Vick. Simply means they're going to lock him up, guarantee him one year. I believe how it works then, he will get the average of the top five paid quarterback salaries for this next year. So lock him down. That's good. Also going on, not a huge Oprah fan, but Michael Vick, February 24th, will be on Oprah to go over everything about those months in prison, what happened with dogfighting, who he is now, trying to get a little cred back. I'll watch it. I will. It's about the only time I'll watch.
And if you didn't catch it last night, huge news. Of course, Ohio State got sacked by Wisconsin this weekend, formerly the number one team in college basketball. Kansas said, put it on us. We want to wear that target. And boy, did they. Kansas State cross-state rivalries whacked them last night. Not even a game. Jacob Pullen knocked down 38 points. The team shot 56% from all over the floor. It was never in doubt. Kansas State woke up and just rocked number one team. So glad you guys won that target on your back. It must have been nice to have the number one ranking for 20 minutes. So yesterday, Woods went to get his wife something at Tiffany for Valentine's Day. Good man. Good husband. I figured I was there. You went with him? Of course. We went to lunch at Fashion Valley Mall yesterday as a show. Is it okay to just have a friendship? You just have a friendship. All of us needed to do some shopping. You told him no way you were going. We sat at the table and you were like, nope, not going. Is Jay just calling him? Not going to go. Not going to do it. He's right. It's killing me. It's killing me. Did you guys buy each other roses on the way there? Really? No.
Friendship rings. Oh, yeah. You know what? Just trying to create chemistry. So is Woods wearing the other piece of that heart on his necklace today? Is that how it works? Yeah. I've noticed. They got that on a one-year anniversary. Mike and Woods exchanged one of those broken heart necklaces. If he were here right now, he'd go, really? Really? He is saying really, really probably right now. So I brought home a little blue bag for my lovely wife, Rebecca. And you weren't planning on doing anything because you guys had an agreement. We had an agreement. Handshake. We didn't shake on it. Oh, there you go. Bring the blue bag. So I was able to do the blue bag. Make her feel guilty. I want to know everything. I brought the blue bag home. Did you surprise her? Did you walk in holding it so she could see it? I didn't know where to put the bag. And so at first I put it on our kitchen island and I thought, that looks dumb. You have to give it to her.
I took it off the kitchen island and then I thought, okay, when she walks in the door, it'll be the first thing that she sees on the floor on the tile. The floor? Yeah, on the tile. You got it set up. So I set it on the tile. I get it. And I went, oh, that looks dumb. Yeah. So I picked it up and I thought, okay, I'll put it on the stairs. So when she starts to walk up the stairs. One of the little boys. Yeah. Oh, what's this? That's what I thought. Yep. And I thought it looks dumb. Took that off. That's a lot of walking around for you, Mike. Yeah, I know. I lost 20 pounds just trying to figure out where to put the blue bag. And so I finally settled on the same place she put my card, her bathroom sink. Why didn't you just give it to her yourself? Why didn't you just hear her come in, walk over to her and say, Happy Valentine's, baby. That's good, Sienna. Maybe I text you. What were you, hiding behind the couch when she came in? She goes upstairs. I don't want to see her face when she sees me. Babe, go wash your face. Your breath stinks. Yeah, she came home, and I go, hey, babe, you should go look at your sink. You did? That was so much better than leaving it on the floor. Aw, it's cute. I did.
You mean the same place that I left your gift this morning? How original. It's a new gift spot. Yeah. Woods suggested it. Don't ask Woods for girl advice. Dude, that's my source for romance. Sharp dude. Let me tell you what to do. Oh, God. Put it in the same place she puts your card, man. Maki. Came up with that myself. Maki. She put the card there because it was the first thing you'd see when you wake up. Not so you had to be sent upstairs. She's not running up to the bathroom. There's downstairs bathrooms. You guys are all wrong. Rico Slave is out of the game. No, read it in a book. I'm telling you, I read it in a book, all right? It works every time. Mark Maumann got me a book. It was called The Kitchen Sink. Kids closed a lot of beds. Kids closed a lot of beds, all right? We know, Woods, we know, but you don't know Mikey's wife. The greatest place to put a gift is in the bathroom toilet sink. So you tell her, your face is dirty, but I love you. That's right. Your face is dirty. Go clean it. Happy birthday. Don't clean it down here. Wash your teeth. Go get. Yeah. Get. Wash your teeth. Wash them good. Get a nice little gift. So she liked it. She thought it was cute. I got her a little necklace. Yeah, she was real surprised. It was a heart necklace? A little heart necklace. A whole heart or half a heart? Did she put it on? Yeah, she did. Oh, that's a good sign. Yeah, and she was going to make me a nice Valentine's dinner. And then I said, hey.
What do you think about going over to mom and dad's? And so we went over to my parents' house and ate chili rellenos. Weird. Wow. We just call them rellenos. Do you guys ever have, like, pizza at your parents' house? No. No, but when they come over, we do. Spaghetti? It's always authentic Mexican food? Yeah. Yes. 24-7. Very nice. That sounds fantastic. Did your mom make homemade tortillas? She used to. I can do it. Well, of course. Uh-oh. It's kind of in the, you know. Yeah. It's part of the whole. You came out of the womb just doing the Mexican hat. Guess who's on the phone. Yeah. Of course. Recipient of such said blue bag. Oh, Maki. Hey, happy birthday, pal. We're just here in the trenches. Taking grenades. Have you guys ever just put the kid on a spit? Rust him real good. Rust him real good? Yeah, just fillet your boy? Maybe just... It's not different from any other day, Maki. I took your advice, pal, and the girls and CB are filleting me, and so is Jay. Freaking out about it. Fruit?
Why on the bathroom sink was? It's not morning time. You know where she'll guarantee go? Stick in one of the baby's diapers. Yeah. Hey, dude, you know what? Hey, everybody has to poop. It's even a book for kids. It's called Everybody Poops. Put it where the poop is. The bag will float. Put it in the toilet. When she lifts the lid. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. She may go to the bathroom on top of it, but she'll see it regardless. That's right. You don't act like a clown. You just put it on the sink and you leave. But what if she didn't get up there until that night? Yeah. Then so be it. She'll be all bummed. Mikey be in bed. What a night. That's true. He goes to bed. I did what you said, Woods, and then she wasn't going in there. And I had to send her in there, man. Yeah, she loved it, but I had to say, hey, babe, you should go and look in your sink. Listen to girls for advice. Mine was bawling, crying. See? So why'd you tell Mikey to put it in the bathroom? You guys, why don't you give them the gifts? Because mine didn't put anything on the sink. So I was just trying to be suave with Mikey. I know he needs the help. You guys, give your wives the gifts yourselves. Yeah, that's a good idea.
You know, we like to be mysterious. It's not mysterious. You guys ever just get each other's wives the same thing for Valentine's Day? Is it two for one at Tiffany's? Yeah. Ever just copy your boy? We've got the same story. What's up, gang? How you doing? Not too much. Happy birthday. We're just here working all morning. How's your birthday been? I'm terrific. You guys know I have to. Isn't CB doing great at sports? Gosh, he's a natural. Man, all in. You actually sound better than the five of us do, so I'm thinking about taking the rest of the week off. That's what Mikey was just saying. He said longer than a week, though. Mike, you said full-time. He thought that you could get a 12-week paternity leave if you needed it. Stop it. Oh, good. Tweaks. Stop it. Well, hey, I'm going to send you guys a private message. I'm really glad we're on the air now. You called us, buddy. You called us. The big meeting that I was supposed to have in 17 minutes, I just called and said, oh, it's going to be afternoon now, probably around noon. I'm like, what?
Maybe I put my head through a wall. Oh, no. Oh, no. You ever pace? Just pace and pace and pace and pace and pace. Hopefully going through a lot of pre-adoption paperwork and meetings. Yeah, we've got a lot of stuff we've got to get hammered out. Babies do pretty soon. I think everything will be good, and just hold a good thought for your boy. All right, Wizzy. We love you. We love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you guys. Well, I like you, too. Nice. See you. See you, man. Guy's pacing in his house right now. I can hear the pace of the steps. He doesn't sit still as is. I love when he's stressed out. Huge decision. Kid on the line. Zach coming. The show's doing better without him. I mean, I feel for him. I feel for him. I know. Rookie coming in swinging. That's right. Just doing sports like a champ. You know I'll take a lot less than what he makes.
Speaking of Woods for a Day, how would you like to be Woods for a Day? You want to take the kid's job real good? You submit a two-minute video of you doing a sports report. And the sports report must contain sports gathered by you, reliable source. But we want you to do it exactly how you've heard Woodsie do it and how you've heard CB do it this morning. You're not reading it. You're telling it. And you're just giving us the story in your own words and communicating to us. And you've got to be available March 1st through the 3rd. So it's three days. And all the video has to be posted by Friday the 18th at 10 a.m. That's the cutoff. Friday the 18th, 10 a.m. And so if you are a guy or a girl who wants to be our sports man or woman. We prefer men. I was thinking women. I'm not saying anything. Because if the guys don't step up to the plate, women can certainly do it. Women can do sports, but they just can't really have a male perspective. Yeah, we need more male perspective. I'm making a video. Sienna's like, you know, like male perspective, like a firefighter male. Like if you wear a uniform and you can bench 100 pounds.
Only a girl would think that 100 pounds is... You lift 100 pounds? You haven't been taking a breather. Right when I said bench, I was like, shoot, I don't know what to say. Bench a small foreign car. You can bench a toddler? We need to know what the inside of a urinal looks like. And the girl's not going to be able to bring that to the table. She's not going to know. Guy doesn't, well, the sports person doesn't need to know what a urinal looks like. But for the good of the show, you need to have that kind of perspective. That perspective really doesn't ever come up, though. The sports person needs to be able to take off their shirt. In public. All in. And have it be legal. Exactly. In case he needs to do it in here for a bit or something. Right. Woods does all the time. That doesn't come across my day so far. Yeah. Get ready. It works real well over the radio. We still have 40 minutes. Yeah, CB hasn't had to do that. I can bench 100 palms. No problem. No problem. He did do it when he was taking off his sweatshirt earlier. That is true. The whole shirt came off. That is true.
That is true. It did. When you were taking your sweatshirt off, some of the shirt came up. That was ugly. Oh, it was not. That's why we're on radio. It was not ugly. I have a body for radio. You have a what? I have a body for radio. Oh, no. More than likely. Girls can apply, I guess. Yeah, sure. It'll be a really fun day in here. Roseanne Barr got a sitting with Oprah. She actually got to sit down with Oprah and had to apologize to Oprah. What? That's right. And you'll find out why she had to apologize. Oprah ever just ambush people? Yes. Right on the air? Always. She's the only one that gets away with it. That's right. Man, that's good. Our program director, Garrett, made a pie from, like, scratch from limes that he grew.
And it is good. It's key lime pie. Has he made the whipped cream on top, too, from scratch? It's so good. Look at Jay. He's going for a huge piece of champions. Hey, Jay, what happened to you calling me out, mister? He's eating half a pie. What's going on? So, this is the... Like I say, it's the math is number in the line. It's just the exception. How many times do you get a homemade key lime pie? I don't even usually like key lime pie. I won't eat lunch. I'll eat a small lunch. No. Oh, my gosh. This is an exception. You don't get it very often. Maybe it's all you can eat, Keelan. Oh, my goodness. That pie will be gone. Jay seriously had half a pie. Yeah, he did. He did. Happy birthday to me. Hey, you don't have to count how much pie I eat, all right? Ain't none of your business. He was throwing you under the best mic for your burrito earlier, so. I wonder if Woods is bummed that he missed out on this delicious pie. He'd break a glass over that. Oh, yeah? Sorry. Sorry. Woods did break a glass over the announcement of cheesecake. Hey, Woods, there's cheesecake. He's going to kill us. Roseanne Barr on the Oprah Winifrey show. Apologizing to Oprah. Then you'll find out why.
What do you think I'm pissed off about? Oh. I thought maybe you were. Can you imagine, by the way, like getting that thrown at you? Dude, I want to see this in a ring. I know it. Oh, Oprah would destroy. Mad at me because, like, I got mad at you for choosing Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton, and I said so, and I thought, uh-oh, she's going to really be pissed off at that. But, uh, uh-uh. Really? Really? I felt really strongly at the time that. You were mistaken. I thought at the time you were mistaken for the person that you supported. Yeah. For a while there, that's when I bogged it. And I was concerned then. But I wasn't even, I will assure you, I wasn't even the least bit affected by it or concerned about it because I so firmly knew what I knew. No, then what were you upset about? Well, I have to say now, and I wanted to say right to your face, that I believe that we do have the right president for the right time now. I really do. Based on? Based on because Oprah likes him and they're all in Oprah's audience. All the things he's done. Well, right now, as of yesterday, he had a 29% approval rating. Now he has it. A plus. Not bad.
He's got a 98% handsome rating. He's got a 98% extremely great orator rating. I've got a sharp dresser rating. What else do you have, Brock? What's that? What else do you have, Mr. President? 98% awesome. Yeah. Mr. President, we'd like to know why, though, with all that, you only have a 29% approval rating. Can you explain that at this time? Because America is confused about what change actually is. What is change? Change is the fact that I did not wear this tie yesterday. I changed. You did change. So you feel like you fulfilled your promises to the American people. I, in fact, have changed. Every day I change. You've changed your outfit. That is correct. Did you wear that top yesterday, Eloise? I did not. Okay, then you, in fact, have changed. And change is occurring. Your approval rating has changed. It has from 98% approval rating to 29%. Do you think change should maybe encumber more than just the tie? Yes, but I'm impervious to doing anything about it. So what we'll do instead is talk about change.
Any other questions? If not, then good night. Mr. President. Yes. Do you have any loose change in your pocket? That's another change I don't have. Okay. Other than that, I'm great. New releases, ladies and gentlemen? Yes. What do we got? Who is doing new releases? I am. There you go. Bright Eyes, The People's Key. I miss the 80s. One for the pure? It sounded like that, didn't it? I can say I heard it. Thank you. Wow. I don't understand that. But teach their own. You know, I've said that music is like a language. You either speak it or you don't. I don't. I would listen to that in line at the gap. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Absolutely done. Yeah. I don't go there very often, but when I do. You don't mind it. Don't mind it. Not bad. Seems appropriate. Yeah. Also out today, Cowboy Junkies, Demons.
I was not ready. Wow, her voice sounds a little different. Wait a minute. That's a girl? I was just going to ask the question. Excuse the ignorance? That's a girl. Please give me the sex on the singer. Yeah, I thought it was a boy. I had to hear another chorus. You thought that was a boy? Yeah, I did. Well played. Huh. Really? Yeah, I immediately thought girl. Me too. I was not ready. Could have gone either way. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't heard a new Cowboy Junkies song in like 20 years. Also at the Deers, Degeneration Street. Earlier, L.O.B. did an impression of a deer. In headlights. Oh, my God. Bands are like cologne. You smell them and you go, it's not bad. I don't know that I'd wear it.
Right. But it's not bad, you know? Some of them stink, and you're like, yeah. Some of them, yeah. But if you want it. Yeah. Okay. Drive-by truckers. Go-go boots. It's about time. Go-go boots. Again, I'm smelling. Goes with drive-by truckers. Yeah. I'm smelling a cologne. This is better. I used to like to party till I coughed up half a long. Not my thing. Not my thing. It's like new age Leonard Skinner. But it has like at least. Yeah. You can like bop your head to it. Yeah, but I'm not going to spray it on and walk through the mall wearing this. I'd sniff it. Yeah, I'd sniff it. Genuine Elgin. Genuine, isn't it? Genuine. Genuine. Oh, I would definitely wear this going out. Hello, babe. Hello, man. Put it on while I waited for three hours for her to find the blue bag. That's right. Exactly. That's what it's for. Yeah. Yeah. PJ Harvey is out today, Let England Shake. First album ever recorded by phone. I think that was the 2G network. A horror movie. That hasn't switched to Verizon yet. No. Mogwai Hardcore, Will Never Die. Oh, good, the new Mogwai Hardcore. I had Mogwai Softcore, and I feel like they just got to punch it up. The album is called Will Never Die, But You Will. Oh, look out. Wait for it.
You got a melody? It's a bunch of clashing. It's really gorgeous. Guess I'll die. Okay, Striper, the covering. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. The Striper? Oh, wow. It's been like 20 years? Yeah. Christian rock group, Striper? I'm ready to wait another 20. I'm going to wait in line at Knott's Berry Farm on New Year's Eve to see them in the barn. A little like offspring. Did they just wake up? Because that's the same sound from 20 years ago. Go with what you know. Build on islands of strength. Out today, new releases, Twilight Singers Dynamite Steps. Woods is really happy about that. Me too. Not one thing we did today in new releases is one that I would be buying.
Wood sent me the list. Yeah, well. Hey, listen. I mean, that's what's out today. Yeah. What are you going to do? It's gorgeous. DVD out on DVD today. Unstoppable. That's one with Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. That's the biggest one coming out. The other one's Waiting for Superman, Summer Wars, and Doctor Who, A Christmas Carol. Yeah. I'd see that. Doctor Who is now A Christmas Carol? It says Doctor Who, A Christmas Carol. Don't know. We got so much left for you. There is a dating service out, and you're going to have to ask yourself how you feel about this. There's a dating service out for people with a particular STD. And you're going to have to ask yourself, how do you feel about it? We'll tell you when you're back. It's a Mikey show. I'm Mikey. Woodsy's out today, but he'll be back tomorrow. Our friend CB filling in. How you doing? L.O.B. is to my right, otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien. Sienna is our news girl, and Jay is our producer.
And screening phones for us today is Alan. Alan. He likes it. So there is a dating service for people with an STD. Yes. What? This is a matchmaking business. They've been around for 18 years. They're called Tregobov. T-R-E-G-O-B-O-V. That's a Star Wars thing. The Tregobov system. And they've just added a new aspect to their... matchmaking business, and it is for people with herpes. Yes. Apparently, a lot of people come forward, they have it, and they want help finding someone. There's other people out there that have it. Makes sense, right? You want someone that's herpe compatible? Well, it totally makes sense. But one of the things is that this company is saying that a lot of the times they match up people. One of the people doesn't have it, and they don't care. They'll know that the other person has it, and this woman says, you know.
One in six people aged 14 to 49 have genital herpes. And in this website, you know what you're signed up for, whereas you may go out to a bar and someone may have it and you have no idea. Well, here's the thing. My philosophy is it's not about why this, it's about what next. And so if that's the case and that's where you are, maybe you made a mistake. Right. And, you know, you got something bad. But moving forward, maybe you want to get married. Yeah. And, you know, you find a family. You want a family. And you find somebody that, you know, you're compatible with. And it cuts out the thing of having to explain to somebody and the whole deal. Oh, yeah. It keeps it controlled. Right. And, man, one in six. One in six. One in six people? One in six people aged 14 to 49 have. In America? Yeah, have general herpes. Yeah. Wow. Isn't that crazy? For real? Yes. Oh, wow. I know. There's somebody in this room. Somebody in this room. One, two, three, not it, not it, not it. Oh, Alan? I don't know. He's like, I don't have a microphone. He's screaming, I don't have herpes. Give Alan that website one more time. It's Tregobov, T-R-E-G-O-B-O-V. The guy's like, I don't have.
Herpes. Or killing his game. You know what? Honestly, I think that the younger generation is more susceptible to it. I think there's a lot more STDs now. I know that there's a lot more STDs now. And it scares me because you think about your kids and growing up and just how careful they have to be. Because back in the day, it was like this stuff didn't exist. Well, with abstinence, you don't have to worry about any of that. Yeah, you know what I'm doing? Wrap that rascal. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Push the button. Why does he have a mic? I don't get it. I cannot turn that room off. Halfway through that, he realized, uh-oh, eject. He's like, wrap that rascal. Wrap that rascal. No, I didn't. Oh, you didn't? It sounded like, well, that. You got scared. 5701949. Justin Bieber. Bieber. Bieber.
Nice, Bieber. Justin Bieber was on Chelsea Lately. She asked him a question, and he responded honestly. The question is... Do you fart? I do. No. She's so obnoxious. The question is, do you agree? Were you disappointed last night that you didn't win? Yeah. Think about it for a second, though. I mean, just take your time and really process. Yeah, the Grammys. You have said that you didn't win a Grammy. People are expecting me to say something else, but I'm disappointed. I'm really excited for her. She's worked hard. Here's the thing. If you think that you deserve a Grammy, you don't say that you think you deserve a Grammy. Especially when you're 12 years old. Aren't you just supposed to not say something? The question wasn't, do you deserve it? Because were you disappointed you didn't win? Yeah.
Yeah. Obviously. In other words, were you hoping you would lose? Yeah. Well, no. Taking a lesson in humility. Really? Isn't that just honesty? It's just honesty. Is anybody sitting there going, oh, no, it didn't matter? I just like to be up there. I've never wanted to lose. Okay, you're right. The question was not, should you have won that game? Right. It's where you disappointed him. Ask the Pittsburgh Steelers. Were you guys disappointed? Oh, no. We couldn't have gone to a better team. We were hoping Green Bay would walk away with that. Let's see. Conversely, if you ask them, should you have won? They'll probably say, yeah, we should have won that game. We should have gone out there and blah, blah, blah. If it's an award, see, you don't have a part in it. You do. It's your body of work. Somebody's voting on it. They don't vote on the Super Bowl. You play the game. You earn it. You earn it. You got to play the game. That's the music game. You play it against each other all year. At the end, it's going to be done. Whose body of work stands? He played the game. Well, did you hear what his... fans did to the girl that did win no esperanza her name was they went into wikipedia and changed all this stuff about her said that like they hoped she would die in a hole they changed their middle name to quesadilla are you serious
It's what happens when the average age of your fans is 11. It's true. They drew mustaches on her picture. Yeah, well, the Wikipedia people deleted it. Nothing I haven't been through. Miguel, Enchalada, Esparza. Not like I haven't been called quesadilla, enchalada. I've had that as my middle name. Isn't that terrible? Can I admit, when they announced her, I've never heard of her. I have no idea who she was. Oh, really? And you're cool and young. No, I guess nobody knew who she was, so they all went to Google to be like, who is this? Who's Esperanza? Stupid Mike Esperanza. That's like Mike Esperanza. Ever been called Esperanza in the doctor's office? I get it all the time. Mike Esparna? Mike Esparna? It's Esparza. Espinosa. Sorry about that. Mike Espinarza? Mike Espinarza, please. It's Esparza. Sorry about that. Mike Esperanza? Is Mr. Esperanza here? Just here. And then you just go with it finally. I'm Mr. Esperanza. It's great with Rebecca. They're like, Rebecca Esparza? And she stands up and they're like, Rebecca Esparza? No, ma'am, we're looking for Rebecca Esparza. I'm Rebecca Esparza. Okay. You're white. You have blonde hair. You're a white girl. Was she two forms of ID? Sorry, I guess you didn't hear us. Rebecca Esparza. I took her to...
her operation last monday and we walked up to the front desk and the woman said uh you're here for the 9 30 appointment yes yes okay um and do you have somebody to drive you home and she said yeah and she goes and who will that be and she goes my husband and she goes is he here hey uh just right here yeah Wedding ring on my finger? That's it. Yeah. Oh, I thought he was the cab driver. She didn't say that. She didn't say that, but she thought it. Yeah, probably not. She thought it. Is he here? There's only one person standing next door. I didn't even do the thing where I go, yes, he's here. I just stayed quiet. And Rebecca goes, yeah, it's my husband. Oh, my God. Well, was she behind the counter? Yes. Oh, so she didn't look over there. We're standing next to you. She couldn't see you. She was probably sitting down, and therefore she's like, oh. Just a hand waving up there. I'm here. Mike is peeking just his eyes over the counter. I'm here. I'm her husband. Oh, sweet little Mike. They offer you something from the toy box on their way out? Yeah, that's very bad. They're like, you know, he gets crayons. You want a lollipop? Yes, I'm short. I sleep.
It's okay, Mike. When I'm done here, I'm going to get my Lady Gaga egg. I'm just going to go home. Express yourself. Did you see, Hillary, did you see Gaga's egg? I saw pictures of it. I didn't see the actual entrance. She came in a chariot shaped like an egg. Yeah. I like her. I'm not mad at it. Lady Gaga, why did you, I mean, out of all the things. Why an egg? Because I was born this way and I was hatching from what you know me as to what you see. It didn't make any sense, but you're saying that you were born this way. I was born this way. I wanted to show you my birth. And that you wanted us to see you hatch. A lot of people don't think I was born this way, so I figured I would recreate the birth. But you didn't hatch. That's not the way that you were born. You were born human. I did. I was. You weren't. I was. You were born. I was hatched. Did you break through the shell like with a beak thing? Metaphorically speaking. Metaphorically speaking, I broke through. But yeah, metaphorically, that means that you broke through the industry. It doesn't mean that you were hatched. I broke through this outer shell that was placed around me by society. So that's what the egg represented.
In a word. What do you do with an egg after you've used it one time? Because there's not a lot of uses for that. Make a bunch of omelets. Just feed all the little monsters. So you're saying if life gives you a big giant chariot egg, make omelets. Yeah. It's good. I don't like scrambled eggs. It's Lady Gaga. Conan O'Brien was talking about Gaga's egg and had this to say. Of course, we just had a little fun with it, but last night, everyone was talking about this. Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys in what some people were describing as a carriage shaped like a giant egg. Yep. Lady Gaga says she didn't want to take the egg carriage, but her bacon truck would not starve. Really? That's it? That's all you got? For the bottom two? Not great. That was not a good one. 570-1949 is the number.
And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. There was a guy that had placed in the back of his head a camera implant. You know about this, Hill? Yeah, I saw something about it. Was he doing like some... Experimenting. Yeah, he was doing a study as a professor while his body rejected the camera. Weird. Really? It had to be removed. Mine's operating just now. My skull camera's fine. He probably had the 3G. Skull camera. He wanted to have eyes in the back of his head. He doesn't. Yeah. So what did they have to do? Take it out? Yeah, they had to take it out. It had been taking a photo every minute as part of a year-long project. Yeah, he wants to be able to reattach the camera, get all the kinks figured out, and then have it back in. Why not just wear a headpiece? Yeah.
Once you think, you just make a little device that sits on your shoulders and not surgically implant something in your cranium. He had to take antibiotics and steroids just to have to deal with it. And even that, I mean, the pain was way worse. And he had to sleep on his nose. He's an artist. The camera was mounted on three posts attached to a titanium base, which was inserted between his skin and skull. That's not awful. That's like a body modification. Not a lot. I was going to say a lot of people do it. Not a lot. Very few people actually do it. But put in posts with screws coming out, poking out of the skin so they can screw on different little decorations. You know what, though? Accessories. Like when you're 55, it's not a great look. Yeah. What am I talking about? Like, is it a great look when you're 25? It's a creepy look. At 55, you'll screw in older accessories. Yeah, exactly. More like mature accessories. Jessica Simpson's fashion line has earned one.
billion dollars. Wow. About time. She has really, really cute stuff. She does? The boots you gave me, Mike, are Jessica Simpson. Are you serious? Yeah, she has a really great fashion line. I like the boots. You contributed. Boots, all heels. Yeah. That's those at Nordstrom. Yes, she sold at Nordstrom. She is? Yes. That's Jessica Simpson. Nothing. I'm not saying. I'm just not. I thought it was a Walmart thing. No. She's on the cover of New York Magazine because her fashion line is like, Coming over to the top. I don't think I've ever seen a Jessica Simpson fashion item. I'm wearing her blocks right now. I'm wearing her blocks. She has really cute heels. I'm wearing her heels right now and her blocks. They're saying she's on track to make $1 billion in sales this year. Oh, good for her. Wow. She has perfume too. She's got, you know what, she's, this is the gal who thought buffalo wings came from buffalo wings. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. A hand tuna chicken. Yep. What do you think that they actually, celebrities that have these fashion lines, do you think that people just show them stuff and they go, all right, that's going to work? No. Or do you think they have a hand? She's 24-7 sewing stuff together. Yeah. Stitching. She's making boots. Probably. I bet, knowing Jessica, she refuses to have anyone else work on this stuff. Yeah. Skinning the cow. I believe. I believe.
That she has a lot to do with it. You think? Am I naive? I think at first, I think she said, I'm going to do a fashion line. I think she had people to design the stuff. And then she got the final approval on whether or not it was going to be in her line. And now I don't think she, it's so big now that other people just approve stuff. I think she goes, you know, all right, y'all. I want. A pair of boots, and I want them to come flapping down right here. And then I want them to have little stitchings right here. I just don't think so. I think she heard this news today and went, I got a fashion line? Yeah. Who were y'all going to tell me? She's trying to prove that. A billion dollar fashion line. Did I say that? Did I prove that? I sell britches. Oh, there's my name right there on the label. I saw it. I didn't know fashion came in a line. I didn't know that. I got britches and everything. Can I have a pair of them boots? I want a pair of boots. Those are cute. Do I get a discount? I thought it was ironic. My name was on them. They're mine. Might as well. Another Jessica Simpson. That's right. Hillary, what do you got coming up? What did I grab? Vampire Weekend. And I grabbed the Flaming Lips and the Black Keys, of course. Some Jane's Addiction. Some Kings of Leon. Black Keys. That's right. There you go.
Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. CB, thank you for filling in for Woodsy today. Woodsy, thanks. Good job, dude. Good time. Nice work. Almost too good. I'm going to see what the camera says behind my back when I walk out of here. We will come back and do this whole thing tomorrow morning again at 6 a.m. Mike Shiz out. Late.