The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/22/10
Monday, February 22, 2010
Monday 2/22/2010
They gang opened up the new week talking about their weekend activities. Winter Olympic talk led to Jenny the Party Girl telling how she lived it up in Canada. More Tiger Woods/Elin conversation prompted Jay to ask: “does Tiger practice Buddhism or bootyism”! After a humiliating fitting with an Asian lady, Mikey finally found a suit for Si’s wedding. Is Nickelback good music is the next funny debate, especially for the M1’s who called in to say yes. Then Lauren puts on a blindfold for the Paper Plate Challenge in which the results will amaze you! Woods takes a reluctant sip of Lauren’s new green hay and lawn clippings drink and nearly gags. Mikey announces he’s going to take golfing lessons. Mike then tells the incredible story of his friend Chris who sold an autographed first All Star Game Homerun ball (hit by the Great Bambino, Babe Ruth) for over $800,000! Next is warning labels on food for kids news, and Woods says he’s terrified at the thought of raising kids when dude dropped coffee on his “bazinkabazoink”. Best battery debate gets Tom Tom Lady to opine. Sienna tells about some strange guy with hairy arms hugged her in a case of Mistaken Identity Goosing. This topic leads to Woodsie admitting he’s a booty and boob grabber and Jay once squeezed his wife’s friend’s tush “by mistake”. M1 Brock calls at the end of the show to tell the world he “Licked a high school girl’s arm” and in church no less!
Tiger Woods apologyOlympic hockeyAndrew Koenig disappearancestudent webcam privacyNickelback pickle campaignWeekend Updatepaper plate taste testStephen Baldwin controversygolf challengeBabe Ruth memorabiliachild safetymistaken identity
Much of the show centered on Tiger Woods: Mikey and Rebecca thought he owned his cheating in a prepared apology, while Woodsy and several callers questioned its sincerity, and the crew argued over fame, temptation, character, and Elin's humiliation. Lauren's comedy debut, the pickle beating Nickelback on Facebook, and her blind spaghetti test drove the lighter bits; she correctly detected paper plates even after Woodsy and Sienna secretly served three paper samples. Sports talk celebrated Team USA's 5-3 hockey upset of Canada, launched Mikey's four-lesson golf challenge, and turned poignant when Chris explained selling his family's signed Babe Ruth ball for $815,000 to pay his parents' medical and housing costs. The hosts also condemned a school using student laptop webcams without parental notice, debated Stephen Baldwin calling Barack Obama "homie" and proposed child-choking labels, and heard callers recount awkward mistaken-identity grabs, licks, and kisses.
What happened, in order
USA Stuns Canada
The crew celebrated Team USA beating Canada 5-3 in Olympic hockey on Canadian ice and compared the upset to Canada defeating the United States in football.
Andrew Koenig Missing
The hosts reported that Growing Pains actor Andrew Koenig had disappeared in Vancouver after missing his flight home, with his family describing him as severely depressed.
Was Tiger Sincere?
Mikey defended Tiger Woods for owning his infidelity in a prepared apology, while Woodsy and callers questioned its sincerity and argued that fame increases temptation without excusing poor character.
School Webcam Spying
The crew condemned a Philadelphia-area school for remotely activating student laptop webcams without telling parents after staff mistook a teenager eating Mike and Ike candy for taking pills.
Pickle Beats Nickelback
A Facebook pickle page passed Nickelback's fan count, prompting Mikey to admit he liked some of the band's songs while Woodsy and the others mocked its lyrics.
Lauren's Weekend Update
Lauren debuted a satirical Weekend Update featuring jokes about geeky men, Gollum's mental health, obvious internet advice, Lady Gaga living in hotels, Olympic curling, and warrantless phone tracking.
Paper Plate Palate
Blindfolded Lauren correctly identified spaghetti served on paper plates, even after Woodsy and Sienna secretly made all three samples paper to defeat her process of elimination.
Baldwin's Homie Remark
The hosts argued that Stephen Baldwin calling President Barack Obama "homie" was racially loaded or at least recklessly chosen, even if Baldwin could claim he used the word casually.
Four Lessons to Golf
Chris challenged golf novice Mikey to take four professional lessons at Carlsbad Golf Center and then play a fully scored, videotaped 18-hole round with Woodsy.
$815,000 Babe Ruth Ball
Chris told how his grandfather caught and had Babe Ruth sign a home-run ball at the first All-Star Game, then the family sold it for $815,000 to fund his parents' surgeries and pay off their home.
Are Kids Overprotected?
A proposal for choking warnings on hot dogs, grapes, carrots, and apples became a debate over whether modern parents and lawsuits protect children sensibly or sterilize childhood.
Wrong Person, Awkward Touch
Sienna, Mikey, Lauren, and callers traded mistaken-identity stories involving strangers and relatives accidentally hugged, grabbed, licked, smacked, or kissed.
People mentioned
MikeyRebeccaWoodsyLaurenSiennaJayTiger WoodsElinAndrew KoenigDanielle KoenigStephen BaldwinBarack ObamaChad KroegerLady Gaga
41,141 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Welcome to the program, everybody. It's The Mikey Show on a Monday, and depending on where you are, heavy rain, just depending on where you are. But as I was falling into work in Mission Valley this morning, it was raining cats and dogs, which I don't know why they say that. Nor do I. No idea why they would say it's raining cats and dogs, because it never physically has. It simply hasn't. It's a physical impossibility for it to actually rain. It would be great if it did. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Meow. 5701949 is the number. And you can call us. Beginning and end of every show. You can call us right now and get on the radio. And real quick introduction of who everybody is. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I really have a struggle.
Do I put on the thermal long john or do I just put on a regular T-shirt and then put a sweatshirt over it, a hoodie? I like the thermal, man. Love the thermal look. Yeah, that's a woods look. That's a woods bit. Well, the only problem with rolling thermal is that if it changes, you can't do much about it. If things change. You can take it off. Yeah, but then you have to take it off. As opposed to just taking a jacket off, you just take it off. That's a good point. You got to go change. Then what are you going to do? But I like the look. Yeah, I've always liked it. Me too. Yeah. It's comfortable. Timeless. It's a classic. Yeah, let's not ask. Mikey's wearing a white long-sleeve thermal with, what, like an army green t-shirt over it, in case you're wondering. Yeah, it looks real sharp today. It looks tough. I just am hoping, you know, that Lauren and Sienna don't pipe up. I like the look. Oh, my goodness. You got my approval. I will sit here silently. You know, I got into radio so I didn't have to dress up every day. Now every morning I'm in front of my closet going, oh God, oh God, what am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? Am I going to get filleted today? Well, yeah. And then when Lauren says I'll just sit here quietly, that's what is happening inside of me. You know what I mean? Oh my goodness. It's early in the morning. I don't look great. Don't even worry about it. You actually do. They do. They always look so trendy. Yeah, but you look good.
Well, some days. Some days, not so much. I didn't get to put my makeup on today. I never put my makeup on. I was making spaghetti this morning for the show, so my appearance came as a second thought. You made the spaghetti this morning? Isn't that amazing? It's fresh. Real fresh. That's amazing to me. I was just going to ask. Of course. We're doing a thing today where we're going to do a taste challenge with Lauren. The deal is Lauren says, She doesn't like paper plates. And the reason that she doesn't is. One of the reasons. One of the reasons that she doesn't is because she believes that food on a paper plate has a papery taste. No way. Dude, Woodsy, Woodsy, which I thought was brilliant. Woodsy's like, you're nuts. You can't tell. There's no way. And so we have a regular plate and a paper plate. We're going to put spaghetti on it. Blindfold Lauren. And see what she thinks. Now, this is what I thought was fantastic. Lauren wrote us an email. I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit. Lauren wrote us an email and she said, I don't want anybody to force feed me the spaghetti. I want to put the spaghetti in my mouth on my own. And she said that it's a claustrophobic thing. And I wrote back.
And I said, I just find it hysterical that somebody feeding you the spaghetti is, quote, force feeding you. Makes me really uncomfortable. But if you're blindfolded, you're going to get it like all over yourself. Well, here's what I think. You put the fork in my hand and I will slowly guide it into my own mouth. I mean, come on. That's too easy. Wow. Already? We've been on the air like, what, three minutes? Three minutes. Three minutes he does that. She was telling that story very slowly, knowing she was about to get mailed with a bat. Oh, boy. Fair enough. 570-1949. Text us to 949mikey at gmail.com. Woods is 34. Didn't get to play baseball this weekend. He's joined a hardball baseball league and didn't get to play because he got rained out. Rained out. Bummer. Terrible.
You had to spend time with your wife. Got some more time. More time with the wife, which was good. That is good. Yeah. Love Jamie. Met Jamie for the first time this weekend. Yeah, had a great time. It was great. Hey, where are the white women at? Well, apparently, you know, we found that out with our wives, apparently. Yes. We all had a great time. Or where are the white women at? Mm-hmm. And then Lauren, she is 29 years of age. She is going to be doing the little challenge later on today. She's a very green person. That's what you should know about Lauren. Very green. She doesn't even bring in plastic bags. It's always Tupperware. Yeah. Yes, that's true. And one of the reasons I don't like paper plates. Wasteful. Yeah, wasteful. Wasteful. Convenient. Super convenient. That's what I'm saying. Just throw it away. And Sienna is getting married this week. Woo! Tripping. Can you believe that? Yeah. So soon. Dude. This time next week, you'll be a married woman. You'll be a wife. You'll be a wife. That's so weird. And a stepmother. And a stepmom. Wow. Officially. Holy cow. This is like, this is, this is, people are like, are you nervous? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. And then yesterday I had my last pre-wedding shower, you know, and I was saying goodbye to people and I'm like, oh, I'll see you at my wedding. At your wedding. The next time I'm going to see you and that kind of tripped me out a little bit. Yeah.
You're the opposite, though. I told you. I've said it, man. She's the opposite of the bridezilla. She's so cool about it. She's not freaking out. As far as we know. I'm going off four hours sleep last night. I know. Because I had to go to, like, a pre-reception food tasting, you know? And it's just this week is crammed, crammed, crammed of meetings and stuff. And, oh. I can't imagine. Approvals. It's, like, really, I'm stressing out now. And Jay. Jay is our producer. He is 46 years old. And we have open phones. Our phones are completely dead right now. It's probably because it's Monday as part of it. Jay got a real fresh haircut this week. I know. Guy looks real sharp. Do you go to a barber or to a hairstylist? I do. I go to this old barber and he treats me like a little kid. Of course he does. Yeah, he treats me like a little kid. And he's like, yeah, you're going high and tight. Okay. Can you leave a little on the top? Nope. You can't. If I were a guy, I would be really scared to get my hair cut. It's nerve-wracking. Because it's like, sometimes it takes about a week for it to start looking normal again, you know? It goes into shock. It does. I have to get one before your wedding, and I'm like... You better get it now. You better do it today. I know. I need to get it today or tomorrow. I'm flipping out about it. I'm married. What do I have to worry about? That's true. What's he, a hairstylist or a barber? Like, somewhere in between. Does that make sense? What's in between? I don't go to a barber shop because I'm...
34, not 70. So you go to like super cuts. I have before, but they never do a good job. But then I go to like an Aveda and it's like $80 to cut my short hair. I don't have anybody here. Actually, Floyd's Barbershop. I saw one downtown. I'll be making that track this week. They always do a good job, but it's not like a real barbershop. My fool guy uses the straight razor on your neck. He gives you a tight shave. That's what I want. I like that bit. It's so expensive to get haircuts. It is. Good haircuts. A good haircut. I've gone to the cheaper places and they always mess it up. Oh, yeah. But look at the length of your hair compared to wood. And I have so much. I got my hair cut on Friday and when they put my hair in the sink and the guy had to ask me to brush it out because there's so much hair. It gets so tangled in the bowl of the sink. And he's like, you're going to have to do this. I can't get through that hair. They had four dudes on. They had four dudes working Sienna's hair. I know. I always go to the same guy. He's the best. It's not appropriate to ask Sienna anything about her appearance. at the wedding, correct? I don't know these things. What do you mean by that? Well, I want to know how you're going to do your hair. How you're going to do your hair. I wanted to know that too. Maybe we can't know that. I can tell you off the air. I have an etiquette question about weddings. Yeah. I want to get you something nice, but I want to make sure, I want to wait to see what everybody else gets you. I got Mikey's present. You did? You already got it? Oh, you did? What's the etiquette?
Mikey's like, I have no idea why I got you. No, I do. I didn't know that you got it already. Can I say on the air? Yeah. We got our Cuisinart. Yeah. Nice. So excited about it. Of course, because I love the cooking stuff. Yes. I want anything cooking. Well, what's the etiquette? You're supposed to mail it to the house. No, I knew that. But do you have to have it this week? No, four years from now probably would be the most important. Is it true that you have a year? It would be inappropriate. I'm not planning on getting years within a year, but is it true? Is that true? According to debutante etiquette. You know, I guess you don't have a year. Wait, wait. Oh, cool. I can wait a year. No, you can't. Just wait until the last day and be like, okay, here you go. No, you're not invited. What does the etiquette say about the gift? Well, you're supposed to have it. You're supposed to have it by the time you get married, right? By the time you get married, I think you're supposed to. I mean, I can't. be mad if someone sends it late. It's not a bad thing if you send it late. But technically, you're supposed to have the thank you notes back out within a couple weeks after the wedding. Isn't it cool, though, if you come back from your honeymoon and there's more presents? No. Not cool. Well, right now, our dining room is just present central. I haven't put one thing away because I don't want to put it away until I've written the thank you notes. Because then I'll lose where it is and forget.
So it's just piling up. It's just a lot of stuff to think about. It's not a bad problem, though. Yeah, no, it's not a bad problem to have. M1 Leonidas. What's cracking this morning, guys? Let me give you some of this. Love it. Leonidas. Borders! Lay down your weapons! Persians! Come and get them! Oh, I want to go to battle. Go home and watch that movie right now. What's going on, dude? Hey, first of all, I just want to say thanks again. You guys have been great on the radio. Thanks for bringing Sexy back to the San Diego Airways. Nice. It's good to be back, man. It's good to be back. And I just want to say, how about Team USA? Dude, Team Hockey. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for bringing that up, Leonidas. Woodsy. Hockey this weekend was inspiring, right? You guys ever seen Miracle on Ice? Oh, yeah. About when we beat the Russians in, I think, 1980? Oh, yeah. This is like, it's not quite there, but it's close. Yeah. I mean, it's really close. We beat Canada. In Canada. Their sport. They're pretty good. Their number one sport. That's all they have. I mean, they love hockey. And we beat them five to three. Dude, how awful must it be?
for Canadians to know that they were beaten by Americans. You know what I found it comparable to? It's like them putting a football team together coming down here and in Giant Stadium beating us. Yeah. It was incredible. Right. There's some pretty funny fan reaction from some U.S. fans that were up there in Canada. I'm an enemy territory right now. The USA just won against Canada. Listen to the girl. I'm on turf. I'm hated right now. So I'm a little... I'm not talking to them. Five to three. Deal with it. Isn't that great? Hey, Jenny, the party girl, were you up there too and having fun with the... I can't believe you got that out of me. It's amazing. Did you have a good time, Canada? Oh, it was good. It was just a little bit cold, but once you get used to it, it just stings a little bit. You should have a little more whiskey. Yeah.
Worms you up real quick. Worms you up real good. Yeah, a little nut. Now they need whiskey. Holler. Yeah, holler. Well, congratulations, Team USA, for killing it. And we are on a metal hunt now with our hockey team, which is just huge. I love it. It's huge, huge, huge. I do, too. I feel like an awful person. What? I know. As you're sitting here, I don't know a single thing. Santa, you're getting married in four days. Yeah, you've got enough stuff. But I do the news. Every time I see all the stories, I'm like, ah, woods of sports. Yeah, you'll take it. Ah, woods of sports. I'm going to give you a break. I'd say that the week that you're getting married, it may be okay for you to not be following the Olympics that much. But I haven't even, like, I've been missing American Idol, like things that I normally watch. Now that you should be ashamed of yourself for crying out loud. Anyway, the Olympics are just blowing up right now. They're doing great. We're doing great. We got a medal count. Yeah, and it's coming around. I'm coming around on it. I'm in on it now. I tuned in yesterday. I watched a lot of stuff. Whereas before when it started, I was like, eh. But we are...
We are kicking butt. We're killing it. We have 24 medals total. Oh, nice. The Germans are right behind us, and Norway has made a push. How many did the Germans have? The Germans have 18. Oh, they're not right behind us. They're not right behind us. We've got seven gold, we've got seven silver, and we've got ten bronze medals. It's amazing. That's awesome. That makes me really proud. You should see how many countries have zero medals. Really? Zero medals. Not one. Kazakhstan has one. Oh, no. Borat have Borat in there. Yeah, exactly. Very nice. Yeah. Very nice. I feel bad for them. I mean, but there's like so, there's so many that have no medals. Why do you go? Very nice. Why do you go? Because they want to compete. They want to be part of it. Look at Jamaica with their bobsled team. How about Mexico? Mexico. Threw in a curveball. Thanks, pal. Yeah, nice go. Oh, here we go. Mexicanness is what defines you. Thank you. Thank you very much. They're the Latins, by the way. The Latins. Don't say Mexicans, dude. You can say it. You can say it here, Woodsy, because there's a lot of them. I'm Mexican, actually. So it's actually all right. Did you know that there is a character from a TV show I've never watched before? What? Growing Pains.
You have never seen her? I have never seen one episode. Did you sleep through the whole 80s? I think I'm going to call BS on that. I've never seen it. Not one time. I can't tell you who's on the show. Oh, Growing Pains is Kurt Cameron. Yeah, he was Mike Seaver. Never saw one episode. I thought Mike Seaver was so... He kind of looks like UJ a little bit. UJ is Uncle Joey. Which is the nickname for her fiancé. He's my man. There's a character on the show named Boner. Can you say that on the radio? I guess. That was his name. Yeah, that was his name on the show was Boner. Boner is the best nickname they could come up with back then. I know it. When was the last time you heard that word? I know it. Friday when Wood said it. Yeah, that's true. And it was a trip too because you guys, Woodsy and Lauren, you guys were talking about that guy off the air. Just on Friday. How did that come up? That. We were talking about, I don't know, inappropriate things that surfaced and showed. And you're being inappropriate. During the 80s. And we were saying how they wouldn't fly nowadays. You would never have a guy on TV called Boner. No. No. So here's, last night I saw this story and I was, I looked at it like his MySpace page. Well, the actor that plays Boner is missing. Yeah. Get to the story, right?
You want me to tell the story? Yeah, please. I'll tell my story later. Go ahead. I'm just saying. Just stepping on toes. His name is Andrew Koenig. He was last seen in Vancouver. Maybe he made it up there for the Olympics. I don't know. On Valentine's Day, February 14th. And he was supposed to be on a flight on the 16th back to the U.S., but he did not make his flight. His sister, Danielle, has confirmed, yes, he's missing. No one's heard from him since the 14th. Any information we can get on his whereabouts would be helpful. dancer, her name is Jenny Magenta, wrote on her Facebook page that he, Boner... I can't do it. What's his real name? Andrew. Does it matter? No, it doesn't matter. I don't think we should refer to the missing guy as Boner. I agree. I mean, come on. Okay, Dad. It's weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. Andrew Koenig apparently stayed with her in Vancouver before he went missing. And his parents, or wait, yeah, her parents, says she claims his parents describe him as severely depressed. Sorry, that was typed very weird. Probably because he hasn't worked.
30 years or 20 years? I don't know. So he went missing. He was last seen on Valentine's Day in Vancouver. If anyone sees Andrew Koenig, a.k.a. Moner, please notify police. 570-1949 is the number. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to get a hold of us by text. There's a wide receiver from Oregon that was kicked off his team because of a Facebook update. Jeez. Want to know what he wrote? Yes. We will tell you. Got Weekend Update with Lauren, something brand new. The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, The Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up?
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dangerous blind curve be careful as you approach there this report brought to you by the 99 cents only stores 99 cents only stores they'll help you stay organized this 2010 with a wide variety of brand name calendars 14 value only 99.99 cents save more shop the 99 cents only stores first i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 here's more of the mikey show on fm 94.9 welcome back to mikey show you can call us if you want to 570-1949 is our number You can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Big news over the weekend that a lot of things that people were talking about was the Tiger Woods thing. A lot of people were talking about Tiger Woods and the press conference that Tiger held. If you didn't hear, this was one of his first statements that he made. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me.
you worked with me or you supported me now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me i want to say to each of you simply and directly i am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior i engaged in when i got home on friday my wife said i'm totally back in on tiger woods really and i said just like that and i go why And she said, because I think that he did a lot. She said, I think he did some things that were hard to do. And I think he did the right stuff. And my dad was along the same lines of Woodsy, where he thought, eh. My dad thought it sounded insincere, yada, yada, yada. I thought it was good. I mean, you don't have anything to apologize to me about.
And so anytime somebody is owning something, I'm really appreciative. I thought he owned it. I thought he... He had to, though. That was my bet. A lot of people don't. Chris Brown didn't own it. When Chris Brown did his deal with Rihanna, he didn't own it. In fact, he slank away from it. He kind of did, didn't he? I think a lot of guys, when they do stuff, you know, how much did a lot of these steroid guys own it? A lot of them did. A couple of... Well... They were out. Eric Gagne came out this weekend. But when it was first out there. Oh, yeah. They ran from it. Until they got caught. Until there was proof. Yeah. It's like. It's tough, man. We've been programmed as a society, you know, to see these guys fall from grace. And then we're programmed to know exactly what's going to happen. Hey, I went to rehab. I'm sorry. You know what I mean? And then they're on the cover of People Magazine. Getting his life together. I always ask myself, well.
what's the best case scenario that we would want from an apology? Right. And in the best case scenario, now some of us have different views on that. Woodsy says his best case scenario is a guy walks in there with nothing prepared and wings it. I am not along those lines because I think that if you do that, you run, well, first of all, if you're the type of person that's capable of that, which Woodsy can, Woodsy can wing it and, you know. speak from the heart and not mess something up. Me personally, I'm going to leave somebody out or I'm going to unintentionally be in the spirit of speaking from the heart. I'm going to unintentionally hurt somebody by saying the wrong thing. So I'd rather put, I'd rather get my thoughts organized because I'm disorganized.
And you're a great public speaker, too. And still, I mean, and I'm the same way. I 100 percent need to be doing what you're doing, Mike, because organize. And, you know, and it's just like this is such a big deal. I don't want to be stuttering Susan. You know, I want it to come across really professional and sincere. And I don't want to leave anyone out. Yeah, I think he could have had his bulleted marks and then put the paper down and been like, and listen. You know, and just come from the heart. Yeah. Speaking from the heart means so much more. And I'm sure it would mean so much more to his family. And I'm not saying he should have stood up there and fielded bullets and questions all day necessarily. Because, like, you made a great point. Somebody asks him, all right, how many women were there? I mean, man, that's going to be tough to answer. Well, it's going to be tough to answer because in answering it, you're going to hurt Elan even more. fascinating conversation at the checkout stand at the grocery store yesterday looking at all the headlines. I had a fascinating conversation about this. The cover of People magazine is Elan and it talks about her humiliation. And I said to my wife, I said, I don't get a feeling of humiliation. I would think that people feel terrible for Elan. I would think that people feel
really bad for Elon and that they would feel sorry for Elon and that they would think what a terrible thing to be happening to Elon. And my wife said, this may be one of those deals where you have to be a woman. And I said, what do you mean by that? And she said, well, she said, I think that there's an element for a woman of, so you weren't good and you weren't enough for him, huh? And I was like, really? I would think it would be just as bad, if not worse, for a man. Because they're feeling like if a man gets cheated on, they feel like their manhood was just ripped out. I think there's something to that. Like, Woodsy, if it were a story of Tiger Woods' wife was caught cheating on him, as a guy, I would be like, oh, man, that's really disrespectful. Uh-huh. You know, and, you know, you've heard me talk about the differences between men and women is that women desire love so much and men desire respect so much. And that would be seen as a, you know, terrible, terrible lack of respect. It would be seen as like he got punked. Yeah. Like not as much as like, wow, you got publicly humiliated.
Because of the reasons that I think Rebecca said. How do you feel about that thing, Lauren, the girl thing? You know, I guess there's a sense of humiliation, you think? I think so. Because as progressive as we want to be as women, there's still that stigma that we need to stand by our men and we need to do those, you know, make a house a home sort of things. And, you know, we do have to. I'm not saying we have to, but there still is that stigma that we're supposed to, you know. Be enough for your guy. Yeah, exactly. And she said that too. She said that, she said it's, she said it may be built into us as women to want to stay with our man because we want to protect our family. Like we want, we have a desire to keep our family together. She said, and then at the same time, you know that people are looking at you going, what a loser. You're staying with a cheater? Yeah. And that's got to be tough. That would be the humiliating part because her being cheated on, that shouldn't be humiliating. That should be, Tiger should be humiliating. Right. You know, and that bothers me that she would even think that that would be humiliating. Yeah, it's the standing by him. And that's why I was glad that she didn't show up to the press conference. That dude, the rest of his life is going to be, if they stay together, it's going to be rough for that guy. That dude is in for it. Yeah. You know, it's not a funny thing.
But just think about when that guy goes to Australia to play a tournament. I mean, people are going to be on that guy for the rest of his life. Every move he makes, more so than they were already. Yeah. Which is hard to do. And she's going to have to be looking over her shoulder. Oh, dude, for the rest. He might as well just cut ties, dude. I don't know if it's worth it. Sienna, when you look at Elan, do you think, as a woman, do you think to yourself, hmm. Poor you having to go through the humiliation. Or do you think as a woman, oh, poor you, you were cheated on. Poor you, you were cheated on. Because I'm telling you, the portrayal is the humiliation. And my wife says she can relate, understands. She said the humiliation comes from I wasn't enough. That that's what the humiliation part is. I think it's a little bit different. And I mean, this could come across wrong. You married a public figure. You had to know in the back of your mind that something like this could happen. Really? You know what I'm saying? I agree. A hundred percent. Doesn't every woman have that to deal with? Well, every woman, of course. Absolutely. But when you're marrying someone who's a millionaire, billionaire, I mean, I don't even know. And women, of course, are going to be throwing themselves at him.
Of course, you know that. And it's just it's a lot more likely for a cheating occurrence to happen when your household name. You know what I mean? And she look at her. I mean, do you I mean, I don't know. I don't I want to say, do you think they would be married if he wasn't Tiger Woods? I don't know. Wait a minute. Let's talk about that. I don't know. Lauren, first of all, you got a look on your face. What is it? Well, I think that Sienna's right. It's probably more likely to happen because temptation is going to be thrown in his path a lot more than just, you know, Joe Schmo on the street. But I don't think it gives him a get out of jail free card. No way. I do think that publicly we all said that Tiger was he presented that different public image of like, oh, I'm different than, you know. Those other professional athletes, you know. Really? I'm the all-American guy. I'm the family man. But did he ever really say that? No. That's the thing. Not only did he never really say that. He was portrayed as that. That was the perception of him, though. Yeah, that was his public perception. That was his public image. But he never said, I'm this good guy. Well, wait a minute, guys. Hang on a minute. Woodsy, you golf. Let's say you're a professional golfer and you golf really great, right? That'll never happen. Let's say baseball player. Okay, baseball player. All right, you're a baseball player. Yep.
I like that even more. You're a baseball player and you're really good at it. And Wheaties comes to you and they say, we want to put you on the cover of Wheaties. Sure. Do you say to yourself, let me think about that. No. Wheaties. And then you take your time and you think about it and you're like, well, you know, I don't know. I got this going on in my life and this going on in my life. Yeah, right. I mean, who really is the all-American boy? And by the way, if you are, that's the only time you should ever accept any endorsement opportunity. And no, I don't think Lauren's saying that necessarily either. I mean, I agree with Sienna and I've had this argument with my wife before about, oh, people are surprised that, you know, Elvis cheated on his wife. He's Elvis Presley. He's the king of rock and roll. I would be surprised if he didn't. Exactly. He shouldn't get married. And I'll tell you what. I'll tell you guys what. When this story broke, it was Thanksgiving morning and I go, something's wrong with this. There is something wrong with this picture. He did something. I called it that morning because I knew it's. You cannot be that famous and that wealthy and not succumb to that temptation. I don't think anyone knew it would be as intense as it was. Nobody knew it was going to blow up like this. But absolutely, I was the same way. I was like, there's something fishy about this. Oh, he wrecked his car? Really? Like right in front of his house? Okay, then let me ask this then. Because Tiger Woods is not the only Tiger Woods in the world. There are other people in other professions. Are you guys telling me?
that everybody that is in a woodsy's already got a sly smile on his face that every big name baseball player i mean huge name look at woodsy he's got that he's shaking his head i already disagree with what no so do i i don't think that if you're a big giant star it means you're having sexual intercourse let's say no it's obviously you can't generalize and say 100 i have friends that work in major league baseball that said woods you would die you would die if you were in the clubhouse do you know that they send guys out they send the little clubhouse attendants give me the blonde in row three seat four yeah my room tell her when to be there absolutely i what i was saying about the whole elan not she shouldn't have been surprised is just because of that they can get whoever they want without trying and and you guys i don't think it's a hundred percent of those are famous celebrities don't you think Let me ask you this. Let me ask you guys. If I were a professional baseball player, okay, do you think that I would succumb to that? No. I think there are dirt balls in all professions. Yeah. Then professional athletes, rock stars, public figures just have...
Access to it more. It's easier access. The temptations are greater. But I don't think it comes with the territory that they're going to be susceptible to cheating. I think it's just the temptation. You don't think it comes with the territory? Not that they have to or that they want to even. I think it's a character thing. It's a character thing. That's why you can't generalize and say 100%. Dude, character is who you are when no one's looking. A bigger percent of celebrities cheat than... Because it's more available, you know what I mean? Maybe it's just more available to them. Well, it's easier. Oh, my gosh. It is easier. Come on. Hang on. I'm not going to say who. I know a girl right now who is living with a guy and they're just roommates. And the reason that they're just roommates is because he cheated. Okay? They used to date? No, they're dating and they're living together. He cheated. But now they're basically just roommates because she found out about it. Right. Guess what he does for a living. You're not thinking about what Woods and I are thinking about. It's just funny that you said that. He's a plumber. It's just funny because he's a plumber. No, I know. But what I'm saying is plumbers on a daily basis don't have more than dozens of women growing themselves. No way, Mikey. Come on. What are you talking about?
How many housewives are hot housewives are calling a plumber going, yeah, I got something. They do. Something's broke. Oh, my goodness. A filthy guy is a filthy guy. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Can I say this? Can I say this? I want to say this because I want to go back to the thing about, oh, by the way, he's Tiger Woods. And so isn't he just getting a lot because he's Tiger Woods? I want to talk about that. Okay. Because the deal is, is that. It's a part of who you are. Like, let me give you an example. Oh, yeah. Of course, Mikey ended up with a really hot girl like Rebecca because he's Mikey on the radio. But would he have gotten her if he wasn't Mikey on the radio? Probably not, except that you're excluding something. The fact that I'm Mikey on the radio says something about who I am.
See, not everybody is Mikey on the radio and women are attracted to plumage. It's who we are. Plumage is the stuff that birds throw up with brilliant colors. OK, women are attracted to it. OK, so if I have special gifts and abilities, women are attracted to it. Like what made me be able to be on the radio? The fact that I'm quick witted, humorous. Your talent. But look at the actual thing. Okay, what about Tiger Woods? What made him Tiger Woods? His ability. His ability. Just the fact that he has ability makes him more attractive. So those things are going to attract a woman. So are you saying that he's as likely to cheat on somebody than a normal average Joe? I'll answer the question with a question.
If I had Tiger Woods' ability and I were a golfer, do you think that me, Micah Spartan, why? Because you are a man of faith and strong moral character. But so did Tiger Woods claim to be with his Buddhism. No, he claimed that he wasn't. He claimed that he wasn't. In fact, he fell out of it a long time ago. And he said that, right. Let me play you the clip of him saying that just for a little context for people that didn't hear it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism. which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. A craving for things outside ourselves. causes a pointless uh urging for what security security now i i didn't know that i thought that was fascinating when i heard it and the reason that i thought it was fascinating is because it's exactly the opposite of my beliefs my beliefs are that i can't rely on myself that as soon as i do bad stuff and so i'll tell you this
If I relied on myself to have the strength to do stuff, Woodsy, dude, bring them on. I know. I hear you. Line them up. So you had a drinking problem. Uh-huh. You were a covering alcoholic. Yeah. Would you be more likely to relapse if you're a bartender? Yes. Okay. That's what I'm saying. I mean, he's more likely to do something because the opportunity is there and it's no challenge. But what? Is the drinking of the alcohol, the actual drinking of the alcohol, is that the problem or the symptom? In other words, it's like a sniffle to a cold. Sure. Okay. The problem isn't the fact that Tiger is a professional golfer. The problem is that Tiger has poor character. Absolutely. And he's claiming he has a sexual addiction. The poor character is the biggest thing without a doubt. I mean, we're not saying that's why he did it, you know? I mean, we know the character thing is... This is not coming out right. I understand you would never cheat because your character is great. You know, you...
You have strong beliefs and you're not the type of person that would do that. A hundred percent. There are celebrities. There are professional athletes that do not cheat on their wives. Absolutely. I believe in that. Yeah. But the likelihood is so much greater because every single day they have women whose mission is to hook up with them so that they can say that they did. And I think Woodsy's got a great point with that in that if that's the deal, if it were me. If it were me and I was a baseball player, I'd order room service. Yeah. And the reason is because the temptation is too great. Yeah, remove yourself from the temptation. But they also, why can't they go out and have a burger if that's what they want? They can, but if I do, I'm going to make sure that I got accountability boys with me, guys that will jam me up. And there's a price to fame. I mean, you can't just say that Tiger Woods is a regular guy that can go have a burger anywhere. Right. True. He has to deal with paparazzi and women throwing themselves at him and even grown men wanting autographs and everything like that. Oh, yeah. The whole reason this came up, though, is just like Elin knew that her husband was going to deal with this every single day of his life. That's why I said she shouldn't have been humiliated. It should have been expected. But he also actively pursued her. Did Tiger say he was a Buddhism or Buddhism?
Yeah. 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com. A wide receiver from Oregon was kicked off the team. Right, Woodsy? Yes. What's the deal? Dude, this is one of the most fascinating stories I've read in a while. They're having some trouble up there in Eugene. Yeah. They've had four players arrested in the last month. Are you kidding me? So the deal is this. Oregon coach Chip Kelly. said Sunday he has dismissed Jameer Holland from the team. Basically because there was another player, Christian Alonzo, that was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence of intoxicants. Okay. So this receiver, Jameer Holland, gets mad, basically. And they're like, they're going to boot him off the team, and he didn't do this. So he fills Facebook with all these expletives. And, you know, this is this, this is that. So the coach boots him off the team. Later he comes on and says, I wish I could block whites as friends. And have only blacks. Lol. Because apparently I'm misunderstood. So that's what the kid wrote? That's what Jameer Holland, after he wrote this expletive-laden Facebook post, he followed it up with that gem right there. So they booted this guy off the team. Apparently he's been a troublemaker ever since he got there. But also, LaMichael James, who's their star running back, was arrested last week after he allegedly strangled his girlfriend. And then the kicker.
This is Oregon? This is Oregon. Dude. I know. It's supposed to be all hippie and green lovers up there, man. I don't know what's going on. So their kicker also got in a street fight that left him seriously injured and was arrested as well. So it's been crazy, crazy, crazy stuff up in Oregon. It's nuts. It was such a huge weekend for the Olympics, too. So we talked last week about Bodie Miller. and kind of what a big mouth that dude used to have. Right. He's actually kind of grown on me a little bit. He won a gold medal this weekend. It's funny how gold will do that. Isn't that crazy? Turns you right around. I know. Nice little gold medal to turn you around. But the good thing is, is he talked so much smack before Torino, the last Olympics, and didn't win any medals. He's won three medals. He's won a silver, a gold, and a bronze. So, Bodie Miller on his gold medal. I don't have it. Sure you do. Oh, it's on another page, isn't it? Yep. It's on another page. It was exciting. I'm not much of a crier, but it was pretty cool. I think it means a lot to my family to be here, and I have a lot of friends and coaches and ski team people that have helped me out, so I think it was a really cool moment for a lot of people.
Nice, buddy. Yeah. Good job, dude. Good for him, man. Three medals. He's representing real good at this Olympics. I want to hold one in my hand and look at it. I do, too. And just see what it's like and see how much it weighs and all that. Well, it's funny that you mention that, Mike, because do you guys remember we talked last week about Scotty Lago, who's a snowboarder. He won the bronze. Right. He's actually removed himself from the Olympics after some pretty risque photos of him surfaced. Really? He was out on the street, probably had a few drinks. He took his bronze medal. He put it in a girl's mouth. The girl was on her knees in front of him, and somebody took the picture. No. Are you kidding me? Here's the deal. No way. The pictures got out, and it was his buddy that posted him on his Twitter. Like, hey, look at us. Look at us having a great time out and about. That is hilarious. And, dude, so the IOC gets just bent out of shape, and he basically is like, all right, I'll just go home. Like, he took himself. It's been three minutes, and you've already told two stories of dudes getting busted because of social networking. Be careful. Be careful. That's crazy. So I know you were really excited about the UFC fights this weekend. I think you guys got the fight, did you not? Yeah, dude. It was awesome. It was awesome. The big fight of the night. Cain Velasquez beats, I guess this guy's pretty legendary, Antonio Rodrigo Noguera. That's what Joe Rogan said. It takes a legend.
To become a legend, you have to beat a legend. That's right. So let's listen to the last part of that fight. Mikey, while you were watching the fight, what did you eat? Like, don't you have to have, like, snacks? Is there, like, a UFC meal that you order every time? He had brie with caramelized onions. Did you read my blog? No. You didn't read my blog? No. I just know you. Can I read to you from the world? You ought to hear it. Now that you said that. I thought you may have read my blog. I absolutely did not. So here's what my blog this morning was called. RVMA. Instead of MMA, my blog is RVMA Red Velvet Martial Arts. Nice. Here's what I wrote. Saturday night, we went to church, then to our friend's house to watch UFC 110. We had some killer enchiladas. And someone made red velvet cupcakes. Yum.
that I waited too long to try. This is what I mean by that. I said, I did the thing where I didn't want to be Over Munchy Guy. Do you know who Over Munchy Guy is? My dad is Over Munchy Guy. I love you, Dad. It's me. Yeah, that's Jay. Food station. It's Jay. You camp out. I do, too. You camp out there. So I didn't want to be that guy. But the whole time, I was pretending to watch UFC. Ha, ha, ha, ha. All I'm doing is... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All I'm doing is watching the red velvet cupcakes. And they keep going. I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta go. I gotta go get one. I did. I got one and then they ate him. Don't worry. Just be that guy. I should just be that guy. No one's mad at that guy. Everyone's jealous of that guy. It's true. He has the huevos to stand up at the food table. Was it California Craven? Was that Brock who had the red velvet cupcakes? Yes, it was. They're incredible. You missed out then. It's great. Oh my gosh. This is serious. Have you guys heard the story about the kids in Philadelphia? They got issued laptops. Apple laptops, right? And apparently because they came from the school, anytime the school wants to, they can turn the little camera on on them. On their laptops? On their laptops. And they turned on a laptop of a kid while he was at home. So creepy.
Took pictures of him. Big brother. Yeah, dude. Real good. And it's big news. I'll tell you about it next. Of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. There's more to life than a Volvo. That's not a statement any other car company has the confidence to make. But for Volvo, a brand that has always been synonymous with safety and trust, it's simply what we believe. As our founder said over 80 years ago, cars are driven by people. The guiding principle behind everything we make at Volvo, therefore. It's called the Volvo Safe and Sound Coverage Plan. It provides five years of warranty, five years of factory schedule maintenance, five years of wear and tear coverage, and five years of roadside assistance.
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KBZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. I'm what you would call the anti-fit model. I was just telling... Is that talking heads? It is. It is nothing but flowers. Love it. We were talking about how this weekend I got my Hugo Boss suit. Wow. For Sienna's wedding this weekend. So big time, dude. Well, I... I'm chubby. Lauren loves her Mikey humor. That's all I'm going to tell you. Lauren really enjoys her Mikey humor. What do you mean by that? You like a good Mikey joke. Yes. A short joke, a chubby joke. I laughed at the fart. And so I went in there and there was this little Asian lady that was marking the suit, you know, and she was like, weird. We have to let this out a little bit here.
And I was like, I know you do. I know that. And then she had the chalk and she was putting the chalk on my butt. And she goes, we let out here too. And I go, I know that. Don't tell me what you're doing. I know you're going to have to do that. Can you guys picture this? I love it. And my wife goes, you look so uncomfortable right now. And I go, well, I shouldn't because I'm a high fashion model and this is what I do for a living. And Rebecca's laughing and she goes, yeah, you're a fit model. And I go, what's that? She goes, those are the people that are actually perfectly proportioned to the point where their whole job is that they design the clothing based on that person's body dimensions. They're not an actual model that goes out on the runway or takes pictures because of what they look like. Their body is perfect.
So they use them as the model for the clothes. I go, that's me. That's me and you both. Exactly. What if you were that person? Oh, my goodness. You're like the biggest compliment in the world. No doubt. You know what I mean? I have the perfect body. I'm the perfect human male. Yeah. I had a body that was so weird that they were like, we'll try to find you a suit somewhere in America. You know, like we'll look around and see. But that body is what's considered average. So if you're not... Yeah, I'm Average Levine. Just call me that. If you're not a fit model, it means you're unique. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm unique. You are. First suit ever, isn't it? Lucky me. No, it's not my... It's not my first suit ever. First suit in a while. Oh, yeah. Since what? Like you're... 86. Since my quinceanera, Lauren. Okay. Since my quinceanera. I guarantee you have a suit. You just don't like it. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you. Thank you. It's a zoot suit. I guarantee you.
I was so uncomfortable. Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I didn't have anything to do with any part of it. The whole thing made me uncomfortable. You have to go in the little dressing room and try everything on. Yes, I had to go in the little dressing room. So did you get all the accessories? Did you get the shirt, the tie, the shoes, the belt? Or are we going to leave you to your own devices? Yeah, I got it all. I had to get it all, yeah. Big disagreement on the tie. My wife liked this tie. And we ended up getting it. Of course. Of course. It's Paisley. Yeah, good. It's in. Paisley's in. Yeah. The only problem with that is. Write that down, please. Paisley's in. Paisley's in. Thank you. The only thing is, is that when I used to look like Rerun. Michael Shannon days. Write that down. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders and I. Yeah, cosmetic. I didn't even need glasses. It was cool at the time. Are you serious? Stop. I'm dying. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. You brought that on yourself? Hey, everybody. It's Michael. I've done that before. Now we're ready for some smooth jazz. See, I have to wear glasses. Me too. That's an insult to us. At the time, it was real cool to wear, you know, those tortoise.
tortoise rimmed glasses. I actually had a pair just like the ones Woods is wearing and I would wear them sometimes to Starbucks or something. Really? Never when I was with anyone, only by myself because I was so embarrassed. So sophisticated. That must look so sophisticated. One time I tried them on for someone and they were like, those look really good on you. I'm like, I know. I kind of wish I could wear them. That's crazy. Go ahead. I was going to say, my sister and I used to put paperclubs in our mouths to make it look like we had retainers. Everyone did that. But then I got one and I was like, oh, this is not cool. Wow. I used to get the top of the squeeze-it bottles. Remember squeeze-its, the drinks? And I would get the top and leave it in my mouth. Really? Yeah, of course. Did you guys hear this story? This is a really, really... weird story love to hear your thoughts on this 5701949 or would love to have you give us a call about this um it's a really really crazy story man in philadelphia okay apparently they issue kids laptops and they issued this kid a laptop he went home he had the laptop on and the school
turned the laptop on so that they could see what he was doing. And he was eating... Mike and Ike candy. Mike and Ike candy. Do you know what they look like, Mike and Ikes? They're like little pill forms, kind of. Really? Yeah, they're red and green. Delicious. They're pretty delicious. They are delicious. Those aren't the licorice ones? I don't know. Those are good and funny. Those are gross. So what did they do? Well, they were... Watching this kid, apparently, because they had to see him eating these Mike and I candies. Right. And they brought it up to the school board, whoever saw this. Right. And said that he was popping pills. This kid in high school. My gosh. And they're like, creep. How did you know that? Yeah. So this is really crazy. His parents have, you know, filed a lawsuit. I mean, this is crazy. And. I guess they have 2300 student laptops that go to these homes and they only they say if something's missing, they only look on the webcams attached to each laptop to see if that person has the missing computer or I don't know what other things could be missing. In other words, if the computer goes stolen or missing, they activate it just to find out where it is. Right. Yeah.
Only two technology department employees are authorized to do this. So we don't know if it's one of those two or if someone else got access to the codes or whatever. But they saw this kid and that's so creepy. Oh, yeah. He's like chilling in his bedroom. Yeah, who knows what else they saw. Under the age of 18. Right? Seriously. It's creepy. It's flat out creepy. Like, is there anybody that would be on board with that? No. I think some of the parents were on board. Really? Yeah. The school district says that they've activated the webcams 42 times to find missing student laptops and never did so to spy on students. But I guess they've done it. Can you trace how many times they've done it, though? Because it says 42 times. Wow. From their word, the school district. I don't know. It's got to be a lot more if you're seeing some kid eating candy and think it's popping pills. Yeah. Well, the thing that's weird about it is, is that the story doesn't say whether or not the computer that that kid was using was reported missing or stolen. Right. That's the missing link. That's a big part, too. And they're student laptops. Like, I guess you would have to check them out. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. The library or something? But they're missing. I mean.
Wouldn't they have record of who has what laptop? Like, laptops come with numbers on them if they're for school. Like, you can't just steal a laptop. Yeah, my guess is it was assigned to the kid. I don't know, though. Yeah. Do they all get their own? I don't know. That is really, really an invasion of privacy. Imagine if you were a parent and you had no idea that your kid's laptop had a webcam that the school could look at your kid while he was at home. Imagine you have a teenage daughter. Yeah, that has a laptop at home. And some creepy IT guy sitting in a back basement. Jay's back in the broom closet looking up codes. Let me ask you. If you're a parent right now and you got a daughter and she's a teenage daughter, if you would be upset if the school activated that webcam. Yeah. And you didn't even know about it. They didn't tell you. No. Even if they suspect it's gone missing, what if she has that on? She's listening to music. Unbeknownst to her. What if she doesn't have any clothes on? Exactly. Oh, come on. It's...
It ain't going to end good. They should have to sign something that says that they were aware of that. See, that's the big deal, too, right now, Lauren, is that they are saying apparently they never told these parents ever. They never in any paperwork said that they would ever turn these things on. That's like putting cameras in the bathroom. Yeah, 100 percent. You can't just do that. OK, did you guys hear about the pickle? Well, and if you want to call about that, you can. 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. You hear about the pickle on Facebook trying to get more fans than Nickelback? I was asked to be a fan of... I saw you became a fan of that. The pickle, and I said yes. You did too? And I never say that I'll be a fan of something. Yes to a fan of something. The idea was that somebody had a fan page and it said, let's see if this pickle can get more fans than Nickelback. Because Nickelback on Facebook has... 1,413,000 followers. Wow. Sad. Is it? Yes. What if people enjoy the music of Nickelback? It's too bad for them. And by people, do you mean Mike Esparza? Listen. I like Nickelback. Why did you join the club then? Because I thought it was funny. It is. Like, comical. I probably would too. But, yeah, I mean, it's catchy. Don't look at me like that, Woods. I know you secretly probably sing along. No.
We did catch him singing Daughtry. Of course. It's not that far off. Please, are you kidding me? I think Nickelback may be cooler than Daughtry. Oh. Oh, no. For sure. Oh, no. The fact that there's even a debate. Why did I say that? Why did I just say that? Mike, can I get in the DeLorean? I just want to get it up to 88 miles an hour and go back in time. Why did I just say that? That's going to be such a good quote. I think Nickelback may be cooler than Daughtry. That's gold. That is gold. I think it's the same level. It absolutely is. Just listen to Nickelback Rockstar. That's all I have to say. Nickelback Rockstar is an example of some ridiculous... Don't be ashamed, Michael. You're turning into a sheep. Stand strong. It is true, though, Sienna. You have to admit, like, the lyrics of their music are pretty dumb. Well, a lot of lyrics from other people's music is dumb, too. That's true.
But the lyrics of the Nickelback stuff is, I think, even a little bit more. I'm powering down. I'm powering down. I love the song, though. I don't listen to it. That's what my brother says. He says, I don't care about the lyrics. I just like the melody and I like the music. It's a nice little tempo. I can't get past those lyrics. I'm sorry. Just keep it going. A little bit longer. Okay. Tell me what you want. I'm done. I'm over. It's over. I'm out. Goodbye. I'm out. Tell me what you want. Good night. Yeah. You sound like he's singing this from the toilet. It does. Maybe he was. Arguably one of the worst songs ever. I'm going to call BS. I think. Look at my guitar. I'm telling you, I... Sienna, only me and you can have this conversation. That's fine. But I'm going to tell you what I think about Lauren and Woodsy. I think that they say they don't like this. But it's a guilty pleasure. No. Every time I hear the line, and what the hell is on Joey's head. It kills me. I want to vomit, too. I'm like, really? Maybe it's a mole. Maybe it's a freckle. Maybe it's important. They are right. That is dumb. Sienna, those lyrics are dumb.
I'm going to say it's not just because I'm not going to agree with you guys. What do you got? You know how to play a Nickelback song? I'm looking at the chords as we speak. No, he's not. He has it memorized. What song is this? You know what song it is. I don't recognize it. That's supposed to be. Doesn't sound like it. That was photographed? That's what this clown says. There's like an older song from Nickelback that I really, really liked. This is how you remind me. No, not that one. Is that them? Not that one. Oh, well. I actually don't mind that song that much. Whoa! No, I don't like it. I just don't hate it. It's one of my brother's favorite bands. This is Woods' kryptonite. It is, dude. What if the dude really sings like that? He does, obviously, sing like that. Woods just hates it. Sweating, dude. That's how much you hate it? Yes. How many people had this as their wedding song this year? I had it twice this year as my wedding song. That's how much I liked it. Oh, Mikey. Listen, I think you like it somewhere deep inside. I don't, dude. I have guilty pleasure bands. That ain't it? That ain't it. That ain't one of them. And you'll never hear about them, ever. All right. Wait, so I didn't finish. Yeah. So Nickelback on Facebook has...
1,413,000 followers. This pickle who's been going around asking to get more fans has 1,414,000. That's pretty funny. It is funny. It's hilarious. I can't even say it. Is he upset about it? Probably not. Johnny Nickelback? Yeah, I believe his name is Johnny Nickelback. And I do think that Chad Kroger is... I remember the Nickelback song that I really like. It's called If Everyone Cared. We'll do that one in a minute. Okay, I'm sorry, but he's laughing all the way to the bank. Oh, I know. He's a filthy rich. Yeah, he is. Ladies and gentlemen, Lauren is going to give us her first ever weekend update. Yay. I'm stoked about this. I'm very, very happy to hear it. I am sure. Now, this is my first attempt. So. What do we got? We're all going to think it's funny. Okay. Guys, I didn't start yet. All right. Okay. Ready? Yes. A new study shows that 41% of women secretly find facial stubble and a geeky personality to be their biggest turn-ons. I'm not done yet. Despite this finding, software developers and video rental store employees still account for some of the highest percentage of single men in America. That is funny. And it's rude. And it's funny at the same time.
An online article for Discover Magazine discusses the character Gollum and his alter ego, Smeagol, from the movie Lord of the Rings. That's Smeagol, but... Smeagol. Smeagol. According to an internet search, over 1,300 sites exist discussing the nature of Gollum's mental illness and whether it should be characterized as schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder or another affliction. Gollum issued a statement to all the inquiring Lord of the Rings fans simply stating... Oh, you really dropped the ball. I'm sorry. Did you delete it? Did you delete it? Are you ready? Maybe turn this noise off. It's like there's gnats in my ears. Okay, I'm going to reread that line. Thank you. Gollum issued a statement to all the inquiring Lord of the Rings fans simply stating, You don't have any friends. That's it. That's it. Okay. That's fantastic. University of Alabama fans have something to be proud about this morning because UA senior Drew Hawk will represent the Tide next month at the National Collegiate Rock Paper Scissors Championship. The winner of the tournament will be awarded a $25,000 scholarship. He credits his victory to good karma and, quote, dumb luck. Hawk reportedly got into the sport after several failed attempts at the game. Guess what number I'm thinking of. That's brutal.
While Congress debates over the current health care proposals, an ABC Los Angeles TV station urges consumers to turn to the Internet to shop for health insurance. Sam Gibbs, a consumer health insurance expert, says most consumers can get a good health plan online by entering some basic information like your zip code, birthday, and your gender. The segment went on to say that users of the Internet can also send personalized correspondence to other Internet users known as an email. And that they can also utilize a feature called a search engine, in which you can research pretty much any topic known to man. That's really awesome. U.S. men's curling team shook up the Winter Games in Vancouver on Friday when they clinched their first victory. The team beat France with a score of 4-3. And who said the men in this country don't know how to do household chores? That's really awesome. They're sweeping. Because it's like they're sweeping. They're sweeping. MSNBC listed their best picks in entertainment this week, and the film Cop Out is their movie choice this week. The movie features an interracial law enforcement duo starring Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis. Anyone who is not able to see this movie is told to imagine a remake of Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Beverly Hills Cop, or The Last Boy Scout. In fact, you'll have a good chance of finding Bruce Willis in any movie. Yes, because it's basically been done 950,000 times. Okay, this one?
You guys got to help me out on this one. All right. The Daily Telegraph in Australia is reporting superstar Lady Gaga to be broke and homeless. The singer reportedly does not own a home and spends, quote, every dollar she makes on stage. When reporters asked Gaga what the definition of homeless was, or I'm sorry, when reporters explained to Gaga what the definition of homeless was, she then responded, oh, wait, that's not me. I just meant I live in hotels. I live in ho-hotels. Please one more time. I need to hear that eight times and mark it. Mark it. I live in hotels. I live in ho hotels. Amazing. Wow. Amazing. And earlier we talked about Scotty Lago, who is the bronze medal winner in snowboarding. Right. Well, he's becoming better known for his controversial photos than his actual performance. As we said, the photo surfaced of the athlete celebrating after his victory, and some believe these pictures to be too racy. Right. Photos of Lago leaked that show him letting a woman kiss and bite his medal when it was in front of his crotch. Right. And then shortly after the photos leaked, Lago left Vancouver in what was reported as voluntarily, but some argue that he was forced out. Right. And then in other shocking news, photos have now begun to surface of a champagne-soaked Derek Jeter in the locker room.
Following the Yankees' 2009 World Championship. It's groundbreaking. That's right. Groundbreaking news. I really like it. Imagine a snowboarder. Give him a break. Messing around. And we have one more story here. It's the last one. You'll get ready to cue up that clip there. Okay. I'm ready. Okay. According to a Newsweek article, law enforcement officials are able to access locations of citizens through their cell phones. through their GPS locators. Not only can they look at past locations of users, but they can actually pinpoint users in real time without a warrant. When asked why the FBI would need access to such seemingly private information without a warrant, they replied, Ladies and gentlemen. And that's your weekend update. Well done, my friend. Well done. Did you know this? Stephen Baldwin. called the president something that some people are making into a racist deal. Weird. Maybe it is. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. You're going to have to hear the clip yourself and tell us what you think. And last week, I don't know if you remember this, we were talking about paper plates and using paper plates, right? And Lauren said that she can tell if something is sitting on a paper. She could tell by the taste.
that it changes the taste because it's on a paper plate, which Woodsy goes, you're insane. Impossible. We'll see. So we have a paper plate and a regular plate, and we're going to blindfold Lauren, and we're going to see if she can tell the difference between the two. I say no way. We'll find out next. Oh, and she's going to be eating spaghetti made with wheat pasta. Whole wheat pasta. It's next. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. At Office Depot, get work-life rewards on products and services you can't ignore. Members get 50% back in rewards on all case paper and copies. Small business needs are all we know. Join for free and watch your rewards grow. Print smart, look smart. At Office Depot, join work-life rewards today for free and get 50% back in rewards on all case paper and copies. Valid 221 to 313. One case per member per week on your $50 minimum purchase required for online phone and fax orders.
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Now through March 1st, lease a new BMW 328i for only $379 a month. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Steve, what are you doing in here? Reading. The book's upside down, honey. Ah, book. So why isn't the TV on? If I watch my favorite sitcom, I miss my favorite history show. If I watch my history show, then I miss the ball game. So you can see my conundrums. So you'd rather just sit here. Fake reading. I'm not. I'm conflicted, Lisa. It's how any TV fan would feel. Steve, with AT&T U-verse, we can record four shows at once on a single DVR. It's one of the reasons we ditched cable. So... So it lets you record four shows at once. Which means... What? Oh, uh... I got nothing. It means you can record your favorite shows while I watch mine. But I... Give me the remote. Fine. I'll read my book. Sure. AT&T U-Verse TV lets you record up to four shows at once on a single DVR. And now get $300 back via promotion cards with qualifying services. Call 1-800-ATT-4U, visit an AT&T store, or click att.com slash TV now. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Call or go to uverse.att.com to see if you qualify. Reward redemption required. Offerings 320-2010. For details, visit att.com slash TV details. So what is this diary of a madman? Well, it's about me, John Leguizamo. It's about my career, my life, my loves.
My sexual failures, my fights, my battles, my money. Look, I've been canceled. I've been fired. I've been banned. I've even been beat up, but I never quit. Not even from Carlitos Wade to Tu Wong Fu, from Super Mario Brothers to Moulin Rouge, from Freak to Sexaholics. This is raw, real, and funny as hell. It better be. It's about me. On stage now at La Jolla Playhouse. Visit LaJollaPlayhouse.org today. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, deal. In fact, if you look up the word deal in the dictionary, it says, Buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents, e.g. BevMo's five-cent wine sale. Well, not really, but you get the point. BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose from more than 200 great wines like Talloway Cabernet, Behringer Sauvignon Blanc, and Zolo Gaucho Select Malbec. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents. Deal Mo and save Mo at BevMo. This report, it is brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. 15 northbound ramp to Ted Williams Parkway. We've got a car that's stuck. It's blocking that number four lane. Also, an overturned car on the 805 southbound ramp to the 905 eastbound. It's stuck in the slow lane. And Genesee Avenue, Linda Vista Road, another overturned truck. This is a pool cleaning truck.
So they've got chemicals spilled everywhere. Genesee Avenue, southbound Linda Vista Road is closed. They've got the Hazmat team on the scene. This report brought to you by Robitussin to go. Now, anytime, anywhere that cough or cold strikes, get pure Robitussin relief to go. It's Robitussin relief in a new neat single-dose spoon. You can take it anywhere. New Robitussin to go. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's going on? This is Evan from surfline.com with your FM 94.9 authentic surf report for Monday morning. Brought to you by our friends at Coyaca, Yerba Mate. I know I could use the hottest cup of tea right now. Surf today looking pretty junky. Weighs about three to five foot. About in the chest to head high plus range. Not very rideable. It's just being absolutely shredded by the northwest wind we have going right now. Really not much else to report right now, but look for conditions to improve tomorrow. Hopefully. Cross your fingers. For up to minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surflown.com. And for everything you need in order to surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops by location or online at southcoast.com. This report was brought to you by Guayaki Arbamate and can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
Pointy, pointy, spiky, stylish. Now, where's Baldy? More of the Mikey Show. What is that? On FM 94.9. I don't know what that is, but it ain't spaghetti. It's strong sauce. Garlic. Smells like feet in here. It's garlic. I like your plate. Who's got their shoes off and their socks? My moccasins are on. Are you sure? Yes. Hey, who died? Dude, see? Dave Matthews may be dead in here. We need to check it out. Look under the board, Mike. I'm alive. I'm alive. Sienna liked it. She thought that that spaghetti sauce smelled pretty good. I'm going to light up a cigarette to mask the odor. When it first came in, I was like, ooh, because it is garlicky, and I like garlic. But after a while, it gets a little overpowering. It's 7.30 in the morning. I know. Is it the organic?
part of it? I don't know what it is. Probably. Probably the healthiest spaghetti. No, I didn't pick it out. What kind of sauce? It's roasted garlic, surprisingly. Really? Yeah, I'm getting that. Roasted feet and toenails. It's garlic. Let's do this. Alright, so what we're going to do is we're going to blindfold Lauren. Oh my gosh, I'm going to throw up. Where's the blindfold? Why? Using my sweatshirt. The whole blindfold thing makes me really uncomfortable. Does it really? Yeah. Real tight. I'm going to stop breathing. Really? On the air. So we're going to blindfold her. Okay. She's so creeped out. Super tight. Wait, it's squeezing my head. It's squeezing her head. Hey, you want to do this? Let's have you take your headphones off. You don't need your headphones. Okay. You don't need your headphones for this. Take off your headphones. But then I'll hear the... Take... Yeah, she needs the headphones. She's going to do it real quietly. Okay. Well, I'm not a magician. You want me to play music. Why doesn't Woods just stand there and blindfold me? Okay, Woods is going to stand there and blindfold. I'm going to get the fork and get a scoop either off the paper plate or the regular plate. And Lauren's going to tell us if it's a paper or regular plate. Should I turn my headphones down so I can't hear you? I think Mike should play a song. I will. I'll play a song for you. Like a little clip of a song so Lauren has something to listen to. Of course Jay wants to do the blindfolding. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, of course Jay does. Anybody wants to go in the webcam? Make it tight, though, because it's an opening.
It looks like I'm being kidnapped. It's like Guantanamo Bay. I know. See, I am a cheater in games, so I have to make sure she can't look. I'm not a cheater. Yeah, she's not a cheater. Yeah, I am. Mark that. All right. I will give you some... How about some Nickelback? Oh, no, please. This is already torture. Don't take it off! She lifted it! Okay, I didn't open. My eyes are closed. Are they? Yeah. I was just jumping like a flag. Let the fork drop on the plate. So it goes clink. My eyes are closed. I was waiting for the song. Okay, let me give you, I'm going to give you a song. All right. I'm going to put on, I'm just going to pick something random and I'm just going to put it on. Here we go. Now, am I going to find out right after I guess if I was right or wrong? Yes. Okay. Yes. So Sienna right now is twirling. Some spaghetti. We don't know if it's a paper plate. We don't know if it's a regular plate. But just so you know, hang on, don't do anything yet. But just so you know, Lauren says that she can tell the difference between a paper plate and a regular plate. So we are giving her some spaghetti right now, and she doesn't know which it is. Now, it's a 50-50 chance that she guesses, so we decided.
We'd do two out of three. Two out of three. And so Sienna is now going to hand the fork to Lauren because Lauren did not want to be, as she put it, force fed. So she's handing it to her. It's in her right hand. She's now putting the spaghetti in her mouth. It's dripping down her chin. She's chewing it. She's chewing it. She's chewing some of the spaghetti is hanging out her mouth. She's got it in her left hand finger. She's like pinching it. She's eating it really slowly. Yeah, she's really examining it. Now, Lauren. Talk to me about the flavor right now that you're getting from this. Is it giving off any nuances whatsoever? I'm going to go paper plate on that. Okay. We're going to mark down that we're not going to say. We're not going to say, but we're going to say that her number one, and she's going to get two out of three, number one, she says paper plate. Okay. Okay. Now she's going to go for bite number two. We will not say whether or not it's paper plate or whether or not it's regular plate. Now, I'm turning to giving the music so that she can't hear whether or not we're scooping from paper or regular right now. Okay, now, Sienna is handing her. Put your hand up, Lauren. She's handing you the fork so that you don't feel force-fed. She is now placing the spaghetti in her mouth. Oh, a little droppage, a little spillage. She's chewing. She's got the napkin up to her mouth. She's chewing. Are we getting any nuances here, Lauren? What would you say?
Yeah, she's really, really adjusting it in the palate. She's giving it a swish. It's almost as if it were a fine wine, but it's not. It's actually feet smelling spaghetti. But okay. I'm going to say paper on that too. You're going to say paper on that one. So number two. Is there spaghetti in my lap? Let's not even worry about that. Don't worry about it. Let's not even worry about it. She's got to get two out of three. I feel the spaghetti. Oh, there it is. Okay. Sienna is now handing her the fork. Put your hand up, Lauren. Wait a minute. Is there a way that I can be tricked and they're all going to be paper? We can't do that. We can't. We can't. Because one of the two out of three. Okay, well, by default, that has to be the real plate. But I can taste a certain ceramic quality to that. Really? I don't even know. I don't even know. So what we're going to do is...
We are going to take a break. And when we come back... Can I take this off? Yeah, and I don't even want to... Don't even tell me... You have to take a break? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to take a break, come back, and find out what the results are. Okay. Don't even tell me. I don't even want to know. FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, not this Wednesday, but the next... Tegan and Sarah are going to play Coughley Symphony Hall. That should be a good show. And it is all ages. Manchester Orchestra play House of Blues Sunday, March 7th. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will play there with the Whigs March 13th. And remember, Bad Religion are doing three nights at the House of Blues in March. So there you have it. Get out there and... Do I have any spinach in my teeth? Yeah.
The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. So, how are they going? Oh, we mean your New Year's resolutions. You know, the stubborn 10 pounds doing volunteer work. What if making this year better relied less on sticking to resolutions and more on making good decisions? The Spring for Alexa sales event is the perfect way to start. With compelling deals on select 2010 models, what has always been a rewarding decision is now an easier one. And whether it's the RX, IS, or ES, the joys of driving it will even outlast resolutions. The Spring for a Lexus sales event. Actual Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Kearney Mesa. Now through March 31st, available 2.9% APR financing on the IS250 and IS350 models for up to 60 months, and Lexus will make one month's payment for you. 60 monthly payments of $17.92 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXIS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Not all customers will qualify. No down payment required of qualified offer ends March 31st, 2010. Repair damaged, treated hair. Stop the breakage. Look your best with Ovation Cell Therapy. I damage my hair from overstyling with a flat iron. I want my hair to grow out faster and be more manageable. With Ovation, my hair is healthier and the texture is like it was when I was a kid. Everyone comments on how great my hair looks. For healthier hair,
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And, of course, there's no car in sight. On the 15 southbound before Carroll Canyon Road in accident, three-car collision, that's got the number three lane blocked. This report, it's brought to you by the 99 cents only stores. Kids feeling under the weather? Stop by 99 cents only stores today. Get them a Tri-Minute Vapor Fan. $5 value, only 99.99 cents. And don't forget the five-pack Tri-Minute Refills, too. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Financial media station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This. Is FM 94.9. She's still not back in the room. She just took, she just took the, the pasta out of the room. The foot pasta. We lit some candles or something. Lauren says that she can tell if something's on a paper plate or on a regular plate. I feel like I'm just going to say because of how happy you guys all are. Yes. I have a feeling I was wrong. Just going to throw it out there.
I don't know. Woods cannot contain his smile right now. Woodsy, was she wrong? She was not wrong. I was right. She was not wrong. I was right. Well, we had a bit of an issue. We have to explain to Mike because I think he might be mad. He may be mad. Here's what we did. It was an unspoken thing. I looked at Sienna. She looked at me. We were on the same page for once. In 16 shows. It's been like. Today's been amazing. Today's been our day. I love you. We're on point today. Did you do all paper? We did all paper. I knew it. Well, when she guessed it wrong, she's going to know that I'm going for the regular plate. I know. That's the thing is when she got the first two right, I was like, I looked at Tiana, Tiana looked at me, she went right for the paper. I was like, out of here. That's my girl. I had a feeling because it was like, well, I only have one choice. And that's what we're getting. She got three for three. No, she was two for three. She said by default, she goes, but I taste a little ceramic maybe. That's three for three. She nailed it. How does somebody, how do you? She nailed it. I know, but how do you know what's paper and what's not paper? She can see through the hood or something. I stand corrected. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. I was wrong. Mark that. You can't see through the hood. I have a very sophisticated palate. Oh, really? You and Mikey. You and Mikey. Yeah. Write that down.
She has a very sophisticated palate. Yeah, she got it. I would have been like, this is the most garlicky thing. You can't taste anything. I thought that was going to throw me off, but a little... Some pava beans. Yeah, she cleansed her palate in between with some grapefruit. Some veggie juice. Can we talk about that for a sec? Will you read the ingredients, please? Let me see this. Look at that. It's warm, too. This is what Lauren drinks right now. She's off of Chambuca. Mm-hmm. Kombucha. No, I didn't get to the store to get more. Chewbacca. Why don't you just go to CVS and get a douche because they smell exactly the same. They're vinegar-based. So now, instead of kombucha, kombucha. She's having essential greens, veggie juice. Now, let me read you what's in here. Celery, spinach, parsley, cucumber, kale, romaine. And it says that it also does contain at least two of the following sprouts. What I found weird about that is that they're not 100% positive. Yeah, that's like a little evasive. Might be some chicken parts in there, too. No. Ew. Wheatgrass, sunflower greens, and clover sprouts. Oh, my God. Smell it, Mikey. Smell it. Smell it. Take up the lid.
Take a drink. Will you take a drink? No, no, no. That would ruin her. Oh, no. I can already smell it. By the way, I'm holding it an arm's length away. I can already smell your veggie juice. Well, Wood said, how's that taste? And I go, exactly how it sounds. Oh, my gosh, Lauren. Oh, my gosh. Do you plug your nose when you drink it? Woodsy, you know what it's like? It's like right after you cut the grass. Oh. Try it, Woods. Can you try it? Yeah. Try it, Woods. Try it. Try it. Try it. Try it. He's trying it. Oh, my God. He's like, I won't say no. Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. He took the tiniest sip. Oh, my. Is it filthy? It tastes like. He just turned red. Don't do it. Don't. Hold it down. It tastes like you boiled Brussels sprouts and then drank the water after. Oh. I need Jack Daniels to wash this down. Barf. Is it just brutal? I want to smell it. Oh, it's awful, dude. Lauren. What? Really? Have a Pepsi. How do you train yourself to do that? Okay, well, I don't eat enough vegetables, so I thought... Look at Sienna. Her eyes are watering. Sienna's eyes are watering. It tastes like... So I thought I would grab this as a little pick-me-up.
Like, that is like if you just mowed the lawn. Yeah. And then you drank the bag of grass. The clippings. I'm washing it down with almonds. You might as well soak those almonds in gasoline, bro. That is awful. Yeah. Well, different strokes. Does Matt drink those if they're in the fridge? No. He's like, what? No, this is, I actually just picked that up on a whim. Is your boyfriend as into it as you are? No. No. He actually said last night that he was healthier when he didn't live with me. Really? I don't know if... What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know if I'm turning him off to some things or what. Mm-hmm. I like the naked green juice, though. It has, like, the same type of stuff, but it tastes so good. They have any sugar in it? It's got green apple that adds a little sweetener to it. Here's what Stephen Baldwin said that has some people pretty upset. I want to be real straight with you. I'm not happy about the way things are. I pray. for President Obama every single day. But to tell you what, homie made this bed. Now he's got a lay in it. Ideas count. Homie being President Obama? That's correct. That's correct. So when he said homie, what do you guys think? Tense. Of course. Yeah, tense, but not as bad as John Mayer. Well, no. No, but probably not the...
Smartest thing? Not the best choice of words. Not the best choice of words. He could easily defend homie in being like, that is not a stereotypical phrase. That's something that I call my brother Alec. I think that you have to be really careful when you have the first black president so that you don't mess up. Because I agree with Lauren. He may not have meant it. Gnarly. But there's no way that that ain't coming across. He meant it gnarly. Of course he's going to backstep and say he didn't when this obviously is going to become a big deal. But of course he meant it like that. And then he not only did he say it once. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, him. That's what I'm talking about. Exactly. Homie. Oh, you mean homie the clown? In Living Color? No, no, no. I meant the President of the United States of America. Oh, easy to confuse the two. You know what stinks for Obama is that now he's got to answer that question. About Stephen Baldwin? Stephen Baldwin. Who anybody can care less. He's going to be like, who's that now? Which movie was he in? Was he married to Kim Basinger? I think he was married to Kim Basinger. I think that was Alec.
Alec was married to Kim Basinger. He's the good Baldwin. Yeah, he's the talented Baldwin. He's the one with the talent. Was Kim Basinger in that movie Eight Miles Long? Eight Miles Long, yes. He's Eminem's mother. Yeah, M&M was in that movie. M&M was in there, yeah. It's a good movie. Budweiser. I enjoy that. I enjoy that a lot. More on Tiger Woods. You know, Tiger... said a lot of stuff that you're really polarized on. You either dig what he said or you don't. I think he said all the right stuff at his press conference if he didn't catch it. And I think that some people think, like Woodsy thinks and my dad thinks, that it all sounded insincere. But if you missed any of it, here's some of what Tiger had to say. I know. I have bitterly disappointed. All of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I'm embarrassed that I have put you in this position. For all that I have done, I am so sorry. What do you guys think?
I want to know who was hammering in a picture. Yeah. Can you guys wait to hang that photograph? Until I'm done? Until after the news conference, please. Guys, I'm right in the middle of something here. Yeah. I think it was M1 paparazzi was actually invited to the press conference. He got invited. And he was popping off the pictures. What do you think of that? Do you think that that sounded insincere, that part? They all do, I think. Just everyone. The A-Rods, Mark McGuire's. I think all of them sound insincere. Yeah. The crocodile tears bit. He addressed more than I expected. Me too. And he apologized for more than anyone thought. And I have to give him props for that. I do too. I thought he did a good job and I thought he owned it. That was the thing that I think is the most important. Like homie made his bed. Homie made his bed. Homie needs to lie in that bed. That's right. He didn't backpedal at all. No, they didn't have any questions for him though either. It's hard to backpedal after you make a statement. Yeah, and somebody wrote that for him. It was very well written. you guys are saying, at least he wasn't like, no, take that out. Take that out. You know, he stuck to everything. We don't know. Well, I mean, he hit on all the points that people have been questioning, like questioning whether or not he was going to speak on. But I think he should have allowed for questions. I don't. See, Mikey doesn't like that at all. See, I don't think he did. It's scary. Barbara Walters will get him one day or he'll go on Oprah. All will be forgiven.
I'm really interested to see how his... Shouldn't all be forgiven? Of course. Mike, how many mistakes have I made in my life? Right. A million, right? Am I going to make a million more? Yeah. I want to be forgiven for all the things that I've done. Especially if you own it. Well, yeah, exactly. But I'm really interested to see how he plays golf. I want to see him back on that course and see if he is still Michael Jordan. Yeah, that's all we should all really care about. Exactly. Here's what he said about that, by the way. I do plan to return to golf one day. I just don't. By the way, there are some people that are angry about that. Why? Really? How dare you return to golf? You should be spending time with your family, mending your family. The reason that we all know who Tiger Woods is is because he's a phenomenal golfer. Exactly. You know? That's what he does, man. That's his livelihood. He should absolutely go back. Absolutely. Know when that day will be. I don't rule out that it will be this year. When I do return. I need to make my behavior more respectful of the game. Yep. How come we can't believe that he wrote it? Well, that's one of the biggest beefs that people had with Tiger before he went on his little binge with women was that the guy just wasn't a real good dude on the course. You know, he throws clubs. He curses. I personally have seen him with my father curse so bad in front of a little kid. You should have seen the little kid looked up at him and was like.
His chin hit his chest and he's like, oh, that's my hero right there. Just dropping F-bombs and GDs and all kinds of stuff. So I want to see him back on the course. I want to see him be a better, better dude in general. Hey, I didn't even know this until Tiger brought it up during the press conference. Some people have made up things that never happened. They said I use performance enhancing drugs. This is completely and utterly. False. He didn't even know that. I hope that doesn't come back to bite him, dude, because if you look at Tiger, what he looks like now, and what he looked like five years ago, we all did it the other day in the studio, and everyone was like, no, no. And I showed them pictures, and they were like, ooh. Not that you can't get that through hard work, but it's pretty drastic. He was lifting some weights in the bedroom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was. Lifting some weights in the bedroom, by the way. Lifting a little more than weights. Lifting his trannies over his head. Wow. He was getting a workout all right. Yeah. Guy got real cut. It's now like deteriorated to that he was with trannies. Look, I'm kind of out of the loop when it comes to news, pop culture, that kind of stuff. Right. All I did was see a few pictures. And I was like, wait, what? What? Because if you look at pictures of his wife, she's gorgeous. Unbelievable. She's gorgeous. She is beautiful. We were talking about that earlier. The whole thing with the family.
Do you know where she was during the press conference? Where? At the mall. No way. With her kids. No way. I love it. Because I was like, well, she's for sure at home watching, you know, and she was at the mall. Dropping some of Tiger's coin real good, which she'll do for the rest of her life. Christian Louboutin heels. Mm-hmm. Oh, I feel miserable for her. I feel miserable for him, too, dude, having to live with her the rest of his life. That's going to be rough. They were also, though, seen getting on a plane and leaving Orlando, the two of them. Oh, really? I don't know. What do you think about Kobe's wife? What do you guys think about that? As women, and then Rihanna and Chris Brown, right after that happened, they were hanging out that next weekend. What's the deal? Well, it happens in... quote-unquote real life all the time. And we don't necessarily know about it when it happens to our friends or our plumbers or whatever. But it's so public that we all, I mean, it just seems like such a hard thing to deal with. We all have to sit there and go, she took him back. Wow, what's that like, you know? I would like best case scenario to be that he changes his life and that they stay together. But you want to, when it comes to that kind of stuff, you really want to forgive and forget.
Because if you don't, if you don't move on from it and it's constantly that pink elephant or the thing that gets brought up, you'll never move forward. But when you're in the public eye, how do you forget? How do you forget? Every interview they do with Tiger the rest of his life. So after you overcame your sexual scandal, I mean, it's going to be the preface to everything that guy does for the rest of his life. And unfortunately, he is the greatest golfer to ever pick up a club. M1 Jason. I think the way he was talking in his speech. It's like, how do you need to read off a card? Right. I mean, he couldn't, like, dig down deep. And the fact that he had somebody write him his speech really just. How do we know that? We don't know that. We don't know that. I guess we don't know that. The way he is reading that. Well, I am going to return to golf. English is not his first language either.
English is not his first language? I don't think so. His mom is Thailand from Thailand. There were some words that he could not pronunciate. No, English is his first language. Why can't he pronunciate some of his words then? I don't get that. I'm just talking about the separation of words. It's like he wasn't talking to you. If he was going to talk to you, then he'd have to have a note card in front of him. Woods, he said that. Woodsy said the same thing. My dad said the same thing. My dad thought that he was way too prepared and way too... And here's the deal. You may say something wrong if you're not. If you don't have stuff in front of you to know what you're going to... And he's not a public speaker. He's a golfer. If you speak from the heart, you're not going to say anything wrong. Yeah, you are. You do. Dude. Woodsy. I don't say anything wrong. Yes, you do. He acted from the heart and there was a lot that went wrong. Dude. He didn't act from the heart. He acted from his peace. That's what he acted from. If you're speaking from the heart sometimes, you say things that are not okay. And you might not cover everything that everyone wants to know. Absolutely. And then people go, oh, really, you didn't say this? Oh, really, you didn't say that? Public opinion about this speech, and I've done a lot of, you know, I looked online all weekend and read, everybody's on board with them now. I mean, like 98% of people are like, okay, cool. I mean.
That's the way I feel. There's a lot of stuff. I mean, I'm not OK with what he did, but I am OK. What I am OK with is people owning it, apologizing and changing. You know, I mean, that's what I would want for myself. You got to change. Let's see. Let's see. It's, you know, time heals all wounds. It's that's going to be the case. Yeah. Let's see. M1 PGA Tour is on the line. Yeah. You know, I just say, hey, I want to see this guy, of course. And, you know, I don't. I do not think that he is going to be the same golfer that he was before. I don't either. You don't? I don't. I don't either. And I think that with any other sport, you can probably have guys come back from this sort of thing. But the fact that golf is such a mental sport and tires have been broken, I don't see it happening. And the thing about golf that you have to remember, it's an individual sport. If I'm Derek Jeter and this happens to me, well, I've got eight other guys in the field to back me up.
And they're going to be with me at all times. Anytime I'm playing, they're with me. Okay, you can boo a baseball player. There's a guy coming up right after him that's got his back. You're on the golf course. You are on an island. But isn't dude just completely mentally nails? He was. Isn't that what he's all about? That's the whole thing is I think that he was above everybody else. And he even said, I think, a good point in the speech. He said something. He said he felt entitled. Well, he felt. that the rules didn't apply to him. And I think that he brings that to the golf course and that's what made him so good is he knew he was better than everybody else and he was almost subhuman. I mean, just not even human. There's a robot. Here's what he said. I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have far. I didn't have to go far to find them. Say it. Hey, listen. He's owning it. Was it wrong, the behavior that he did? Absolutely. Was he wrong? 100%. Is this the best case scenario that he's actually owning it and going, man, this is who I was. Man, I messed up and I want to be different. What?
What choice does he have? He didn't have to say that. He didn't have to say that. It's a preemptive strike, man. It's like I used to make fun of myself at my last job. I'd be like, hey, what's up? Chubbs is here. Because I knew that was going to get it anyway. It's a preemptive strike. And it's like taking the heat before the heat actually comes. Does that make sense? So what's worse? Hiding? Or saying it. Well, he can't come back to the golf course unless he speaks on this issue. Exactly. But talk about a distraction. Yeah, but at the same time, he didn't have to say that. He didn't have to say that. He had to say something. He had to say he was sorry. He had to say he was sorry. And he did. But I think that in the case of Tiger, he actually went like a little further. He did not need to say that he had an affair. And he did. You know, like. I think he did need to say that. He didn't have to say he was entitled and all that stuff. He definitely elaborated. No, he said and apologized for a lot more than he had to do. I thought so. That's why I have to hand it to him. You know, I think that what happens is, is though in our brains, we go, there's no way in the world I'm going to forgive this behavior. And what I say to it is, it's a lot easier.
for us to hold a flashlight in our hand instead of a mirror. It's really easy for us to do that. No doubt. In fact, I think that in a lot of ways, it kind of excuses how gnarly maybe we can be, you know, because we're like, well, I know I'm pretty gnarly. Thank goodness there's a gnarly person out there, so I'm not that gnarly. I'm not judging him for his actions and the things that he did. I'm judging him for, and I'm not judging him because I can't judge Tiger Woods. What all I'm saying is he seems it seemed to me very canned, very robotic and very insincere. And that's that's my only point. It just seemed insincere. Well, I think ultimately we need to be OK with the fact that he came out. He said what he said and everything. The only person that actually has to forgive him on a personal level is his wife and his family. And all we need to. to deal with is the fact that okay he addressed it we were all wondering since thanksgiving what he had to say about it he came out he said it we can either like how i mean no matter what he said there was going to be people that weren't happy with how he said it so stephanie yes go ahead oh my gosh you guys i was driving home from dropping my kid off at school because usually i can't listen to the talking part of the radio right when i have my kid
So funny. You guys are so good and so cute. Thank you. Thank you. I loved it. So funny. I was laughing out loud in my car. Thank you, Stephanie. Thank you. Awesome. We appreciate that. Makes me happy. Yeah, me too. Let's see. An M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. And so when you call in, the rules for being in the M1 Nation are you turn your radio down, get to your point, you don't cuss, you listen to the Mikey Show exclusively. and you listen for long periods of time, that's what being a part of the M1 Nation is. M1 Sienna. Ooh. Sienna, I've never met anybody. That was so weird to hear. I know. I've never met anybody with your name. I've met a crayon with that name. I know. That's it. Besides a crayon and a Toyota, I've never met anybody with your name. I'm really nervous. I know. M1 Sienna. Hello. Hi there. Worlds are colliding. I know. What's going on? My name is Sienna. Okay. I've met Tiger Woods in Tua Vista. about a year ago. And all I can say is that he, just his personality in general, like some people don't see, yeah, you see him on the course and he's quiet. And he seems more of a shy and timid person. And think about somebody like that. He doesn't normally do big press conferences about himself. He doesn't about his game. Not about his family, not about himself. So if you get in front of, you know, he knew that this broadcast was going to be tremendous.
How can you not think that he's going to sit up there and read for something? I mean, the things that he was saying were things that I would like to think that would come from somebody that is really experiencing those things. Like you guys said, he did cover some things that he didn't have to say. He didn't have to admit anything to anybody, just like a lot of people that we know in the public side that have totally denied the fact that they've cheated. And he didn't do that. He ended up to it and he owned it. Yeah. Was it written for him? Probably. I'd imagine that he spoke to somebody about what he wanted to say, and they put it in words so that he wouldn't get more scrutinized. But you've got to give, I mean, I'm sorry. I definitely, hands down, I think he's a man for doing what he does. Man, me too. I could not agree with that more. Wait, I want to know if it's really her name. Yeah, her name was Sienna. I'm tripping out about it. Sienna? Yeah, it really was Sienna. She's gone. She's gone. I had so many questions. M1 Molly. Once in a lifetime. Hello? Hi. Hey, how are you? So the last caller encapsulated a lot of what I was going to say is that, you know, if I've ever had to own up for something I did wrong and it's never been anything that intense, it's really hard to find the words to atone for it when the moment comes and the rubber hits the road.
I would really need something written out for me because, you know, at the very least, you're feeling an intense anxiety facing up to it in front of one or two people, you know, never mind millions. And then my other point is that he probably needed something prepared for him ahead of time because of the potential emotion that he's going to feel, something to focus on specifically and say so that he doesn't just get carried away with the emotion around it. I don't know for sure if he really is remorseful, but I think he probably is. And to have to face up to that and not have words prepared, it would be so easy to just completely break down. Yeah, I agree with you, and I think that everybody's wired differently, and I think that some people can wing it. And I still don't think that that's...
I personally, I don't think that's wise to wing it because I think you stand the chance of leaving something out that's important. I think that when you do something like that and you got to make a public statement, I think it's wise to be prepared. Or say something maybe between you and your wife that she did not want you to say. You know, you may just say something in response to a question. She'll be more mad. Now you've hurt her even more. Yeah. I don't know if that's possible. Yeah. You know. It is. We were talking earlier, too, about the whole, is it an embarrassment thing? Is she embarrassed? Does she have something to be humiliated about? I thought, nah, I feel sorry for her. What about this porn star thing? You guys hear about the porn star deal? What's your take on this porn star deal? What porn star deal? There's a porn star, and her name is... Jocelyn Daniels. Jocelyn Daniels. And she says that she slept with Tiger Woods. And she held her own press conference after this all happened. I would be open to a telephone apology from Tiger. But I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person, face to face, in his eyes, because I didn't deserve this. Wow, she sounds more emotional than Tiger Woods. Oh, I'm so upset right now. Me too. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pause, pause, pause. Hang on. She sounds more genuine.
What is, so Woodsy, Woodsy, what do you mean? Like, so you're like, wow, you know, that's really cool. She sounds more genuine than Tiger did. Stop. She did. I'm sorry, but who gives a flying bleep about who this girl is? I'm going to check out some of her work later. I'll let you know. I mean. That's what she wants you to do. That's exactly, I mean, who even authorized her press conference? Who cares? She's not the only porn star either he's been attached to. Her attorney is Gloria Allred. Yes. That's no joke. Of course it is. Her attorney is Gloria Allred. Why does she need that? I don't know. And maybe she does. Maybe she does sound more genuine because she's crying. But I'm asking myself, how are you the victim here? He impregnated her twice is what she alleges. Oh, really? That's what she alleges. I mean, come on. And that's the word. You know he has kids. You know he's married. What are you doing? Thank you. What are you doing? You fool me. You can't fool me again. You twice me fool. Hey, GW. You fool me. You fool me. You can't fool me again. You won't get fooled again. It's GW. And too much from him. And because of him. I never had to come to this. He knows that I was very straight and honest with him. You just weren't straight and honest with his wife. Yeah, exactly. She sounds like she's in high school.
But for a long time, he lied to me. I never wanted to cause... Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Ever since I saw Debbie Does Dallas, I've been dreaming about this. He said he wasn't married. Well, all you have to do, sweetheart, is watch television. She is ridiculous. What do you mean he lied to you? Turn on the TV. He's got a wife. It isn't hidden. Oh, there's just so... He said he played baseball. There are so many stories. I'm looking at this girl. How do you know that? Exactly. I'm not saying they're true. Every story to me. There could be 50 billion stories. I'm like. It's just hysterical. Who cares? Yeah. You're like. There could be 50 billion stories. I'm like. That's what it is. There could be 50 billion girls. Do we want a rundown of each one? Like. We're over it. And I mean. What other person is going to come. I mean. Anybody can come out and say, oh, yeah, I did. I actually did. Yeah, I could come out and say it. Yeah, Woodsy could say it. It was just one night. It was one wrong decision, right? It was one, you know. One wrong decision. There's no more life. That's right. Let's see. M1 Spencer. Hey, Mikey, how you doing? Good, bro. Good. Hey, I wanted to comment. You know, I think that when Tiger comes back, he's going to be better than ever. I think golf is going to be bigger than ever.
And it's just going to be a great show all around. I kind of think that, too. They're dying without it. I would like to see that. I mean, I don't follow golf. I don't know that much about it. But I think that this guy has already kept his game so tight playing on the golf course that this is his thing. You can't just become great to awful overnight. I know that golf is a mental thing, but I think he's going to pull through. I think he's going to be great. Hey, Spencer, now talk to me about why you feel that way. Well, you know. Kind of like what Woodsy was saying, you know, he's got an attitude on the course. You know, something like this might humble him and basically put him to that point to where it even improves his game because he knows how to control himself. And he feels like he's a better person because of, you know, owning up to this and coming out with it. Does he know how to control himself, though, at all? In golf, yeah. On the golf course, maybe.
And really not even on the golf course. You don't throw clubs. Tom Watson, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer. Those guys weren't dropping GDs and throwing clubs around. He's a little, he's a child. And he's always acted like a child on the course. That's fine, but he wins. No, he is a winner. There is no doubt he's a winner. Let's see. I am very intrigued to see how he does when he gets back on the course. What do you think will happen? Knowing Tiger, he'll probably, he'll probably. Same, worse, or better. Probably the same. Same? Yeah. I don't think any better. You just said he would be worse earlier. No, I didn't. You said because it's a mental game. I said there's that chance, and there is that chance. But, I mean, I think he's that good he could even kill. I think maybe what he learned at sex camp was part of the steps of maybe being overall. It's not just about overcoming the sex. It's overcoming the addiction and the character thing in your head that says. Do bad things. So maybe he learned how to control himself. He's turning back to his religion. Maybe he's just ready to be a better person overall and in turn a better golfer. Could be. M1 Joanne. You know, I have to say, like, the comments about the fact, like, I'm going to give him a lot of credit. That must have been really hard. You know, I'm going to tell you right now, it must have been really hard for Elon to hear about 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, 11, 12. You know.
porn stars. And, you know, I'm just sorry. I am just not one of those people that says, wow, that must have been really hard. I give him a lot of credit. He's a jerk. He cheated on his wife 12 times. And it's just outrageous that people would sit there and say, it must have been really hard for him. You know what? I don't really give a crap what it was like for him. That guy's a dirtbag. And yeah, it should be uncomfortable for him. And I wish it was a little more uncomfortable for him for a little longer. You know, Joanne, I don't really have a problem with what you're saying in terms of like, hey, listen, you did the crime. You got to do the time. In other words, this is just a consequence of what you did. And I'll agree with that. I'll agree with you in saying, hey, dude, you know who doesn't have to go through the uncomfortable press conference? The guy that doesn't cheat, you know, doesn't have to go through it. So to that extent. I will agree with you. Like, you know, yeah. But what I will say about Tiger is that in terms of owning it, I've seen a lot of celebrities mess up and not even come in the same zip code of owning it as much as Tiger owned it. And I think it's kind of refreshing to see somebody mess up and own it as much as he owned it.
Yeah, and I guess that's where it's like I'm not really positive that I don't know if he owned it. And what I mean by that is I don't know if it was as genuine as I, like I'm not, I guess I question the genuineness of it. Because it just did feel very like press conference-y, let's say this. And I'm sure those are all things he's dealing with in therapy and everything like that. I guess I just don't know if I see him really at that point of really feeling those things. Like I know he's processing it. And so, therefore, it just kind of felt a little bit rehearsed, and this is what I need to do. And I'm in, everybody knows I'm in sex rehab, and this is what I need to do so that I kind of get people off my back for a little while. Got it. Thank you, Joanne. Hey, I appreciate the phone call. M1 Brian, you there? Yeah, I'm here. What do you think? Hey, guys, I was just, I want to make the comparison about the whole Kobe Bryant situation. And everybody talks about if Tiger can bounce back from this thing. But, I mean, it seems that in our culture, most people. You know, they want to forgive the fans. I mean, they want to forgive and get over it. And what Kobe went through or what he allegedly did seems so much worse. And, you know, he's bounced back to be the league MVP. And, you know, nobody made a comment earlier about how every press conference or every interview with him is going to be prefaced now by how did you bounce back from your sexual addiction. But nobody talks to him.
You know, in those terms about Kobe or any. I think we have a short memory. That was also a legal issue, too. And, you know, those charges were dropped. And he never admitted to it. And he never admitted to anything. Kobe flat out denied that he sodomized and raped this girl. And I will say, in my mind, I never liked Kobe because of his lack of humility just on the court and everything. And so when that came out, it just gave me a reason to kind of solidify that. he's not a stand-up guy, so I haven't forgotten. Every time I see him, I think that. Same thing. Just like Ray Lewis, you know, the whole murder case from the Baltimore Ravens. Every time I see him. The night before the Super Bowl thing? Yes. Yeah, and I see, like, there's a commercial of him, like, in a locker room, like, and people are, there's someone wearing his jersey, like, oh, glorifying him, and I'm like, murderer. That's all I see. Wow. Really? That's a scary conclusion to jump to, though, because I was the same thing about the Duke lacrosse guy. When that happened, I'm like, those overprivileged, dirtbag lacrosse players, completely vindicated. All of them. And I literally was just eating crow, just going, man, I can't believe I did that. I learned a huge lesson about that. A huge lesson. Yeah, M1AJ. Yeah, this whole Tiger Woods thing, I just want to say that first and foremost, Tiger Woods is a man.
And being a man, he's going to make mistakes. Being a human, right? Being a human, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And he's not the first person ever in life to cheat on his wife. Nope. And I'm sure he's not going to be the last. It's just a whole big issue just because he was that great on the golf course and nobody else could touch him. So they had to find something to scandal up so that he could take some time off so somebody else could win a championship. He's human. He did what he did. I don't think he owes anybody any explanation, apology, other than who's in his house. I think that maybe I missed it, but I don't remember our president apologizing about what happened. Well, that's not true. That's not true. I actually took Hillary's side and I said, I'm sorry. And then, if I remember correctly, I went on Okra and I went on... It's Oprah. It's Oprah. Sorry about that. Is it Oprah? You got Okra on the brain? I love fried okra. I know you do. I love to fry. You're supposed to look out for that fried stuff though, aren't you? Didn't you just have another bypass? I did. I had another bypass. But the thing is that when you cut up those little okras and you flour them a little bit, you put them in the egg batter and then you put them back in the flour with a little salt and pepper. Daddy like. You know what I'm saying? Throw that in some real hot oil. Take it out and you put it on a paper plate.
Why don't you just eat a spoonful of lard? Oh, that sounds good, too, man. That sounds so good, Woodsy. Do you know how to fry up lard? I do. Let's do it. I do. Thank you for the call, dude. All right. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. I don't know that I agree with the conspiracy theory, but he makes a good point. He is a human. We are all going to make mistakes. Speaking of golf, that just reminded me. Oh, yeah. Lauren wasn't there. Lauren wasn't there at the Super Bowl party. Mm-hmm. What did I miss? Well, a lot. You missed a lot. Sienna was there. Jay was there. Woodsy was there. And my friend Chris was there. And Chris can get around a golf course. We're talking about he can make his way around a golf course. And he said that, you know, because we're talking about golf. And there is no doubt in my mind. I don't care how many lessons you give me. I will not be able to do it. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. I'm telling you. You need to be Tiger Woods on this, bro. You need to be mentally tough. Mentally tough. I need you mentally tough. Mentally tough is one thing. Short, fat Mexican is another. Okay. Chi Chi Rodriguez. Chi Chi Rodriguez. Is he good? He's one of the best. Okay. I think we've seen that sometimes physical stature in golf doesn't mean anything. Really? I mean.
Yeah, John Daly. It takes all kinds. I mean, he was like 400 pounds. Yeah. But I don't have any coordination. It's all about precision. My grandmother has the worst. Well, she's not doing very well now, but she had the worst looking golf swing that you've ever seen, but hit it down the fairway every time. Really? But looked like, my dad would look at it. We'd be watching her laughing, and we're like, how does she do that? But right down the middle. It's all in the hips. My grandma, too. It doesn't matter what you look like. My grandma is an expert shooter. Like, dead on, if you put a target and a gun in her hand, she will shoot. Beats guys. I mean, crazy. Really? Oh, great eye. Well, when I tell you what I'm going to do, you are going to laugh so hard. Let's do this. Jay, get Chris on the line. I'm going to take a break. And I'm going to tell you what I'm going to. And we're going to document it. What he suggested, it's going to be Woodsy and I, wait until I tell you what Chris suggested that I do and what he suggests and says that he thinks can become of me. Wow. And we're going to document it on video, which I'm also humiliated about. I can't wait. I'll tell you next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs.
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Not just mucus. Get the right medicine for the real problem. Advil. Cold and sinus. Ask for it at the pharmacy counter. Checking out the 5 southbound through Encinitas before La Costa Avenue. There's a two-car accident. They're tying things up. Also, the 15 southbound before Rancho Penasquitos Boulevard. An accident over on the right shoulder. Looks like... three-car collision, and somebody who hit somebody else took off. This report brought to you by 99 Cents Only Stores. 99 Cents Only Stores makes it easy to drive safely with a universal hands-free cell phone headset, only 99.99 cents. 99 Cents Only Stores, helping to keep you safe on the road. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. It's the Mikey Show. You can call us if you want to. 570-1949 is the number. And we'd love to hear from you. You can also text message us 949 Mikey at Gmail dot com. So, yeah. So we are having our Super Bowl party and we are talking about golf and the topic of me and golf comes up. And I have gone out before and tried to hit a golf ball.
And I cannot hit a golf ball even straight. I mean, let alone hit it. I mean, there were times where I was swinging. I didn't even make contact with the ball. Oh, boy. That'll happen. Well, yeah. It does happen to four-year-olds. Yeah, four-year-olds or five-year-olds, yeah. No, it happened to me. It takes some time. Or women. Or women. I'm just kidding. I'm getting the Manson lamps from both of them. Yeah, they both just looked at you right now like you were a dead man. I'm an expert golfer, actually. I bet. Sienna, can you golf? I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. Nice. So my friend Chris, who's on the line, said what now, Chris? Yeah, you were talking about golf. And you said you'd like to golf, but you don't have like two years to try, and it would take forever. Right. And I didn't know this was going to be a show-type bit, but I just told you, hey, I bet if you took four good practices with someone that knew what they were doing, four lessons, and you practice in between those,
After that, you can get around the course. Yeah. I think you can. Yeah. Now, I'm thinking there is no possible way in the world. You can't go in with that attitude. You can't, and that's your problem. You psych yourself out. Okay, so you have no confidence. Here's the difference. It's not that you're going to be ready for the Nike tour or anything like that. I'm just talking about you can go out and play with a couple guys and not be absolutely humiliated and miss the ball. You're still going to shoot about 120, but that's good enough to get around the course. No doubt. Mikey doesn't know what that means. Oh, I know what it means. And I think that I, and I'm being completely honest, I think it's going to be more like 220. I tend to agree, Chris, with that, that it's going to be a lot. I mean, dude, I've been playing my whole life. I shoot like 110, 120. Chris, what do you shoot on a good day, a really great day? On a best score ever, 88. I've broken 90s several times. I'll shoot in the 90s. Let me put it this way. I, to my credit, Steve Woods, have a hole in one. I got a hole in one at my dad's country club. I had a hole in one. You know what I shot that day? What? 111. Oh, wow. With a hole in one. Wow. Yeah. Shocking. How's your short game? Terrible. And my driving is terrible. Now, let me ask you. So this came up. Jay was right on it.
And contacted a place. What is a place that I'm going to go to, Woodsy? It's Carlsbad Golf. So I'm going to go to Carlsbad Golf. We're going to video document it. And I'm going to do it for four weeks. It's the Carlsbad Golf Center. Carlsbadgolfcenter.com. With a professional, right? With a professional. Yes. With a professional. A professional is actually going to instruct me for an hour. His name is Lee Sanuto. And he is a successful player. He just won a PGA event. Really? And he's an excellent instructor. He's been teaching for several years. Okay. Yeah. Now, he's going to instruct me one hour every week for four weeks. And, Chris, you believe that I can get around the golf course with that? Yeah. Now, you've got to define what getting around is. Oh, man. Dude. You're going to be able to play. Okay. You're going to be able to play. Yeah. I'm going to be able to play. Yes.
Chris, me, you, Mikey, and we'll get a fourth. Yeah. In about a month. Yeah. It'll be perfect. It'll be March. We're going to go out and we are going to play 18 holes of golf. We're going to get the cart, the whole thing. We're going to videotape it. We're going to keep score. We're going to keep a legit score. Lauren is laughing because she saw my face, right? His jaw dropped. When you said 18 holes, his jaw dropped. Yeah, Sienna and Lauren are going to come out. They're going to drive the carts. No, they're not. We're going to have a blast. I mean, listen. If I, after four hours of instruction, can hit a golf ball, I will consider it a victory. Here's the deal. There's a caveat there. You have to work on, like Chris said, in your spare time. Not that you have to go hit balls every day, but we can find it. There's a place right down the street. We'll go hit balls a couple times. You work on what you learn because it doesn't help you. Okay, if you go, you do your lesson, you say, okay, cool, thanks, and then you're done. You work on your grip. You work on your stance. You work on all that during the week, and you can do it. At a break, it doesn't matter. Just work on it. Okay, because all you need, you need one club that you can hit the ball somewhat straight with. And you can play the entire round. No doubt. A seven iron is that club for me. What does that mean? Seven iron and a putter. Seven iron and a putter. I could probably shoot better with a seven iron and a putter than with all the sticks in my bag. Now, when I go, okay, Chris, when I go down there.
Where do I rent the clubs? Can you rent the clubs there? They're going to take care of you there, man. They've got everything lined up for us. You don't have a set of clubs and you're jumping into this? Wait, wait, wait. You've got to have clubs. You're not going to go and rent clubs. It's not like bowling and you go just pick up a Brunswick from the big island. You can't just rent clubs. You can. It's like taking swim lessons at the public pool and then you get down there and you ask where your trunks are. But clubs are not cheap. What's he supposed to do? Yeah, I mean, what's an investment? If you're serious about this, I got a buddy that works at Tideless. I'll call him. He's done some giveaway stuff before when it's come to fundraisers and stuff like that for us. I got a guy named Brian at Tideless. I'll call him. Those are good clubs. Those are good clubs. I'm in the market myself. But no, it's very important. To have the right equipment is very, very important.
And Chris, tell Mikey that he can't be on his iPhone during that hour. You can't be on your iPhone every five minutes. I'm going to take it. I'm taking it. No, listen. I'm telling you right now, you guys. I'm going to take it really seriously. Here's the deal. Because I'm going to go with you. And Carlsbad's a good solid 50 miles from my house. Yeah. And I'm going to go with you. Yeah. If you don't take it seriously, I'm not going. Dude, I'm telling you right now. I'm going to take this really seriously because I want to get to the end of this thing. and know how to do this. I was so stoked. The thing with golf is, and why I love doing that, is because you can go out with someone who's 50 times better than you, and you still play. I mean, you're still riding the same cart. You carry on conversations. So you hit the ball five times that hole. He only hit the ball twice before he got to the green. And that's what I mean by you can get around. All you've got to do is be able to get out there and somewhat keep the ball in front of you, and you can play, and then over time you get better. You were talking about, oh, I'd love to play golf. It sounds like fun, but I don't have two years of my life to give away, you know, for me to be able to play golf. How much do I need, Chris, how much do I need to practice outside of the hour instruction? You're more of an athlete than you like. You played freshman football in high school. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I stood on the sideline.
And watched as the other guys. Jeff Garcia, when I was a freshman in high school, Jeff Garcia was our starting quarterback. No way. He was our starting quarterback. I watched from the sideline. You kept the bench nice and warm. You never got in? Nice and warm. One time, Woodsy, one time I got in, one time I got in the game, we were winning the game 195 to zero. So they let me in the game. Yeah, and I was like, I was like, you guys need to, when I heard my name, I'm like, what, Gatorade? You guys want me to get you some Gatorade? What's going on? It put me in the game. I didn't even know what to do. Woodsy loves baseball. Yes. Woodsy is a Yankee fan. Yes. Chris, tell Woodsy your Babe Ruth story. This is great. Yeah, cool. Yeah, as Woodsy would know, Great Depression happens back in the 1930s. Baseball's about to go under. No one's doing ticket sales. The sports editor from the Chicago Tribune at that time decides to do something called an All-Star Game, Best Players Major League, Best Players National League. July 6, 1933, they all meet at Comiskey Field up in Chicago, and they do the first-ever All-Star Game.
My grandfather was courting, which they called at that time, my grandmother, and my grandmother worked at Sears Robux and decided she wanted to do something cool for him. He's a huge sports buff. And so she got tickets to the game, but she couldn't afford the nice ones around the players. She got the right field bleacher seats. No way. And I still got the ticket stub to the game. inning, Babe Ruth gets up. He'd been playing for 20 years. He was way past his prime. He was there because he was the great Bambino, not because he still had a lot of skill. In the third inning, he gets up with a guy on first and smashes a ball into the right field bleachers. My grandfather would talk about the massive humanity. Everybody just crushing into where that landing zone was. He had his arms out trying to protect his girlfriend. Then as the ball got closer and closer, he realized she wasn't something to be protected. Priorities. Right. Exactly. And he stood on his seat and reached up a hand and smacked down the first home run ever. It fell in the seats behind him. And he fell down kind of on top of grandmother there. Everyone jumped in, and he reached back under the seats, and he came up with the ball that he knocked down. And sometime later, just a couple weeks later, they were taken back there when the Yankees came back in to play the Sox.
And Babe Ruth signed it. So we have the ticket stub. We have the newspaper article from Gary, Indiana, where they lived, that talked about hometown boy. You know, hometown man brings home souvenir of a lifetime. So incredibly well-documented. Do you still have the ball? No. You know what? Three years ago, I got to a place where parents needed some help financially, more than what we could do. Our mom needed some surgeries. Dad was a professor at a little junior college in El Paso. They cut everyone back to a point where, you know, they didn't have insurance anymore, health insurance. And I called around, and at the All-Star game in Pittsburgh, we put it up for auction. And what I thought I would never let go, man, let that baby go. And mom and dad have never called and asked for cash since. Unbelievable. Yeah. Wow. Before they left, though, I mean, I got three little kids. So we went in the backyard, and I had them each holding the ball and taking pictures with it and all kinds of stuff.
I'm like, well, you can kiss your family inheritance goodbye. If you still had it, I would have asked to sleep with it under my pillow for just one night. Dude. Just one night. How much did you guys end up getting for it? That ball went for $815,000. Holy cow. $815,000. That's amazing. Yeah. What a great story. Yeah. It was cool, which was a whole lot of cash. You know, taxes and inheritance tax takes a huge chunk of that. Went back, paid off mom and dad's house so they're living in a place where they don't have to worry. That's killer. Mom had a couple surgeries, and when all said and done, they have about $200,000 that they're trying to spread out for the next 15, 20 years. Amazing, dude. All from a baseball from his grandfather. Unbelievable. And you know what did it? I was a buddy of mine. His father passed away, and I went to a memorial service with him, you know, to honor his dad. His whole family talked about the last two years of their father's life, how everything would happen at that home and how he was such a great man. I sat there through that memorial service feeling like the biggest jerk son in the world because I got this baseball that's never even been considered to be sold, and yet I got parents that are just going through some really tough times and a mom that needs a lot of work, a total knee replacement, some hip stuff, and I'm sitting there going,
For the sake of a baseball in my closet. Good for you. You know, my parents are rotten right now. And I walked out of there, called my younger brother and said, dude, I'm going to start making some phone calls. Good for you, man. I mean, that would be really hard for me to do just because of that's Babe Ruth. Right. Dude, I totally get it. Now, at first, they didn't think that the ball was going to be worth much, right? Well. Yeah. Well, part of it, you know, it's. The perfect Babe Ruth signature, the ball is brownish just due to age. And so they said, you know, you got a $15,000 to $20,000 ball because you got a mint Babe Ruth signature on a ball of that era. It's when I pulled out, you know, wait, we still have the newspaper article. We still have the ticket stub. That's when they're like, well, you just don't find documentation like that from the 1930s. That's history, bro. That's history. That's what a great story. They said, you know, low end, you're looking at $80,000, $90,000. High end, this ball could go $200,000. So even then, they thought the ceiling on it was there. But it got between a bidding war between two individuals. One guy that ended up buying it is putting together one of the largest private baseball collections and museums in Florida. Amazing. And another guy wanted it for some commercial uses. Sweet. That's crazy. That's a killer, dude. Perfect storm. Killer story.
All right, well, I will begin my training, and I will go out and be taught by a professional golfer, and we'll see in four weeks if I can somehow get through 18 holes. Thanks, Chris. When are you going to start? This week. I'll start this week. I will start this week. Let me call Brian, and Woodsy's going to know. I bet Woods is going to know first practice. If you've got a Charles Barkley swing that's got hitches in it all over the place and you can't make contact, we may be in trouble. But if you can just get a smooth swing that a guy can work on four times with you practice, I bet you can get around. I really think you can. I do too. All right. We'll give it a shot. Thank you, dude. I appreciate it. And let me know about your buddy and talking to him. I'm going to give him a call right now. Okay, cool. Thank you, man. Woods, you don't have clubs, right? They're back home. So much guy stuff happening right now. I don't even know what to do with myself. They're falling asleep. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm going to give it my best shot. I can't wait. I can't wait. We've got a lot of sports to get to still. What do we got? Yoko Ono, as Jay likes to call him. His name is really Apollo Ono. Apollo Ono. He is now the most decorated U.S. Winter Olympian.
It feels amazing, especially in a sport as volatile as short track speed skating. This is my third Olympic Games, and there's no other athletes here competing that have gone through Olympic Games and medaled every single time. I did my best. He was on a show that Woodsy calls Dancing with the Clowns. Yes, Dancing with the Clowns. How did he do on that, by the way, Sienna? No. You don't? I thought you were a Dancing with the Clowns fan. I'm an American Idol fan. I'm shocked. Well, I was disappointed to hear that my man Johnny Damon, who I had to grow to love because he came over from the Red Sox to my beloved Yankees, is now a Detroit Tiger. He took a one-year deal worth $8 million, even though the Yankees offered him two years at 14. Why did he do that? Yeah, that was my thing. I was like, you're going to go play in Detroit instead of New York. Makes sense. Maybe he still couldn't get over being a turncoat and leaving the Red Sox. That guy wanted to be a winner. He gets to grow the hair back and the mustache. Yeah, he can do whatever he wants. He can look like a clown again for all I care. Didn't the Red Sox win the World Series with Johnny Damon on the team? Yeah, we've got 27 of them, though. So they've got a long way to go. Typical Yankee fan. Penn State coach Joe Paterno. Joe Pa. Joe Pa. Joe Pa. They did a little charity auction for his trademark thick-rimmed glasses.
How much did it fetch? Not quite as much as the Babe Ruth ball. $5,000. $9,000. $9,000, yeah. Were they used? Yeah, yeah. They have the game-worn jerseys. These are the game-worn glasses. He had eye surgery last month to improve his vision. What do you do with them? You buy them. What do you do with them? Hey, look what I have. Why does my family collect autographs? Where do you put it? Every time you watch Penn State, you wear them. Watch it in the dresses. What about his prescription? They're like Coke bottle thick. Yeah, your eyes are all jacked up. People are like, what's the matter with you? They're like, it's worth it. I see it through Joppa's vision. How do you even prove the authenticity of those? Yeah, how do you? Oh, Lauren, I don't know. I'm just a sports guy. You put them on one time, you start vomiting. Todd would buy them. He loves them. Yeah, yeah, he likes them. I bet our promotions guy, Owen, would like those, too. And my sister-in-law, Kim. And so the native San Diegan, Jimmy Johnson, won the big race out in Fontana, California, this weekend, too. Nice. And there was an issue. I don't want to end on a downer. There was a note about a tire at another race that...
Came up and it killed a fan. Are you kidding me? After a wreck. This weekend? Yeah, this weekend in Arizona. The car flipped in the first round race and caught fire. And a wheel flew off the car and struck a woman in the stands. You gotta be careful at those things, man. That's gnarly. That is gnarly. Yep. Have you ever... We didn't do this when we get back. Tell me what you know about this. Pediatricians are now saying that they should put choke warnings on food. for kids. We will tell you about which kinds of foods we're talking after this. of the monkey show coming up in minutes on fm 94.9 attention to all americans overwhelmed with ten thousand dollars or more in credit card debt due to the economic crisis a bailout program has now been established that may eliminate up to 50 of what you owe the credit card companies this consumer debt bailout is now active to help americans regain finances during these hard economic times and save money we have one goal in mind with this bailout and that is to eliminate up to 50 of your credit card debts for good and roll everything into one affordable lower monthly payment if you're a u.s citizen
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This report is brought to you by IHOP. You're going to flip for free pancakes at IHOP's National Pancake Day celebration. Get a free short stack of IHOP's buttermilk pancakes only on Tuesday, February 23rd. All donations will benefit local charities. 15 southbound between Camino del Norte, Mercy Road. Pretty much stop and go this morning. Also checking out Escondido on the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway, Center City Parkway. We've got speeds in the lower 40s. And the 56 westbound between Carmel Valley Road and the 5. Again, we've got traffic in. the teens right now this report brought to you by nissan get quality now get savings now it's a nissan now sales event the best deals ever on their best cars ever event and soon get to a nissan dealer now i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 kbzt san diego a lincoln financial media station the new home of the mikey show this is fm 94.9 so what's the deal with the uh choke warning thing for Little kids' food, Sienna. Well, the American Academy of Pediatrics is urging a lot of food products to have a bigger child choke warning label on them because there's a lot of children choking in the U.S. On what? Like, what are we talking? Hot dogs is a big one, raw carrots, grapes, apples. There's a lot of high-risk foods that parents don't cut up enough, I guess. How are they going to put that on an apple, though?
You cut it in little pieces. No, I know, but they're going to put a warning label on an apple. When you cut it open, it's going to be inside. Yeah, it's like a fortune cookie. And it's going to be down the side of the hot dog. Yeah. Well, maybe like a sign when you're buying the apples or something. Yeah. Just so you know. Isn't that kind of an obvious thing or no? Yeah, I think that maybe there should definitely, if these instances are occurring of more chokings and there should be some sort of like awareness forum for parents. But on the label, I think that's not necessarily their responsibility, the food makers. I don't know. I hear about hot dogs and grapes being the biggest ones all the time. 100%. And carrots for sure. Are we a nation of overthinkers? I don't know, man. We're a nation of lawsuits. What if we didn't think about it, though? Like, what if he didn't really think about it? You're like, you give your kid a grape. And you're giving him a grape. Well, would you give a newborn, like, a burger? No. Well, no, they can't own teeth. Yeah, but there's a little bit of... Imagine, eat this burger! You chew it like a bird, and then you, you know, you... Ew! Kim always cut the grapes for our kids. I've done that. Like, taking a bite of a grape and giving them the other piece. I didn't, like, chew it in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It says that over 100 U.S. children under the age of 14 choke and die every year. Overthinking it, Woodsy? Just like everything else, man. I mean, you guys remember when you were little kids, or at least I do. I mean, I used to sleep on the floor of the car. Yeah. You know, on long road trips. Yeah. Now it's like. Oh, you would be put in prison. Just in jail forever. I tell this story all the time. One of my favorite things with Jake is when I was a kid, one of my favorite things in the world is my dad putting me on his lap. Yep. And letting me put my hands on the steering wheel. Oh, yeah. 100%. It was one of my favorite memories as a kid. Every kid. And you know what was so great about it? Like, you're there with your dad. Yep. And you're, you know. You're driving, dude. Dude, you're driving. You're driving the car. And it's your dad. And it's just fun. I'll do that with Jake because he loves it. I'll do that with Jake just in our neighborhood. Like, I don't go anywhere, you know, like. On the freeway. Watch out, dude. CPS will be knocking on your door today. Dude, let me tell you. Like. When I draw, and I'm telling you, like, I don't go any, we just stay on the block. Yeah, like the cul-de-sac. And you have full control. Yeah, but what did you call it earlier? The Manson lanterns? Yeah, the Manson lamps. Dude, I will, if there's a woman walking down the street and she sees me, she will stop. Her jaw will drop open.
And she will look at me with the daggers of all daggers. You might as well be caning him in the front yard. Seriously. I do a lot of those things with Todd's daughter, who's eight. Yeah. And I get the worst looks. Like, I'll let her sit on my lap sometimes. And she'll steer. I mean, she's eight. We're in the neighborhood, and I'll just do the pedals. Yeah. She loves it. Yes. We go by the beach. She'll, like, stick her head up out of the sunroof like a limo, you know? Yes. And she's, like, waving to people at the beach, walking by. And they look at her like, that is so dangerous. And you too, right? Like you're a monster. I'm going five miles an hour. Chill out. We have turned into a nation of overthinkers. Lawsuits. Remember going out and playing when you were a little kid? Yeah. Who would ever thought that would have become a thing in the past? You remember riding in the back of your dad's truck? The back of the truck. So fun. Oh, so fun. Oh, Mikey. If you were to put a child in the back. a moving truck. Dead. Oh, yeah. Firing squad. Yeah. I'll say I get nervous even when I see dogs back there. Oh, that kills me. I'm like, that's not safe. You don't like it when you see dogs back there? I feel like the dog's going to jump out. I always feel like they're going to jump out. Wait a minute.
I know. They don't care about the kids, but the dogs, yes. Oh, I've never seen, I don't think I've ever seen a kid back there. I have in Texas, you know. But like 10-year-old kids, not like little, little. At in Texas. At in Texas, you can still do that, man. Shoot, we can carry guns in our car. No problem. Carry a gun on me. Absolutely. My brother can. Let's see. M1, what is it? M1 Dog Bait? Is that right? Yes, that's me. What's up, Dog Bait? Well, I'm like, what's wrong with society nowadays? I mean, you have to put labels on stuff to say that you're going to choke? Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, toys back in the days used to be tin. I know when I was a kid, I used to have Tonka trucks, and they're like hardcore metal. But nowadays, everything's soft. I mean, what's wrong with society? It is so weird because I genuinely fall 50-50 exactly on this issue. 50% of me goes, We are so sanitized and politically correct that it makes me sick. Because your house is uber childproof. Baby-proof. Uber. Yeah, yeah. We've almost made our walls rubber. It's a fortress. Yeah. Like, while I was walking there with my luggage, I'm, like, stepping over things. I couldn't get any drawers open. I had, like, the toilet. I peed on top of the toilet. Yeah, basically. It's true.
I mean, and we have gates all over the house. There's gates everywhere. But you have to. And it's like if I had a kid, I'm not going to let him just roam free. So I get it. I get it. But I just remember back to the old days. You know what I mean? Well, dude, if you live in Arizona and you do not have an alarm on your door, on your gate, excuse me, that goes to the outside, you will go to jail. Really? Yes. Are you kidding me? It's against the law in Arizona. So weird. Now, on one hand, I'm like, we're weird. Yeah. On the other hand, I go, oh, saves lives. I'm 50-50. I know, dude. It's so weird because you grew up the way I did. Yeah. You know, like, I used to drink bleach, you know? It doesn't matter. Seriously, I mean, when we were kids. And I'm here. I'm here. When we were kids, and you can't really drink bleach, but when we were kids. By a pintle. When we were kids, we used to do some wacky stuff. Crazy. That if we did now, parents would go to jail for doing the same exact thing. We used to do rope swings and, you know, zip lines. Zip lines were the best. Yeah, of course. You did zip lines? Yeah. You know what they do now? They play PlayStation. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do now. Do we all sound like 50? Yeah, we do. I'm that guy now. 69-year-old. Back when I was a kid. Back when I was a kid. We didn't play Nintendo.
Have you been to, like, a kid's park recently? Uh-huh. I was just going to say that. And the bottom of the ground, like, underneath the play structures are, like, trampoline material almost. You're kidding. They're so, it's soft and squishy. So if they fall, and I remember, I mean, it was, like, what, sand? Mm-hmm. That was so dangerous. Gravel. Gravel. Yeah, we just saw that this weekend. Yeah. You ever go home with gravel in your knee and just cut up? Yeah. Not now. No. But like Mikey was saying, I'm 50-50 because we were at a park this weekend. We made the same observation and I was like, wow, we never had anything like this. We were tough. And I was like, but then again, if it keeps the kid safe and from getting a concussion when they fall off the monkey bars, then go for it. My sister fell off the monkey bars and this was what like. before they had the really soft ground, and she broke her arms so badly. Right, right. And it's like, now you just, like, bounce right back up. Builds character. Builds character. Sienna, where are you on kids having to wear a helmet when skateboarding, riding a bike? Like, I could tell already, Woodsy, that makes them nuts. Kills me. Where are you with that? With a bike, they have to wear a helmet.
Skateboard? Skateboarding, it just doesn't seem like as bad of a fall. Oh my gosh, you're crazy. Jay, do you make your kids wear helmets? Oh, my kids wear helmets. I wear helmets. I've seen people split their heads up. Of course you have. I snowboard in a helmet just because it's smart. You should. I never did, but I think I'm going to. I can honestly say I have never worn a helmet. Bike riding, skateboarding, snowboarding, skiing. The only time I ever wore a helmet was football. Hey, juice box. If you're going to go big. When the guy was on his skateboard, when he spilled, and his little juice boxes broke in his pocket when Jay did that. Were you wearing a helmet? I was not. I was on my way to work. Let's see. I should have been. Never wore one. I'm like a do as I say, not as I do kind of person. I'm like all about it. I don't wear them, but all about it. Wait till you have kids though. You'll make them, right? When I have kids, I'm going to be like so overprotective. You will? Yeah. Oh, definitely. I am. I remember when we were teaching, Todd and I taught his daughter to ride a bike and it was...
It's terrifying. Really? I mean, it's just like, they're so shaky, you know, and I'm just like, she's going to eat it. She's going to eat it. There's going to be blood. This is going to be a nightmare. So we're both like running on both sides, like holding our hands out. It's just, you don't, it's terrifying. I feel debilitated sometimes with my kids and how crazy upset I get. Like I literally, like when Rebecca told you guys a story at dinner on Friday night. About how Jake fell out of the bed. Oh, yeah. And immediately started screaming. Like, it has such an emotional effect on me. Physical effect. Physical effect. Like, I feel like I'm like, you know, like a panic attack. But you don't become callous to a point or like, ah, I've seen it happen. Again, 50-50. Yeah. There are times where he'll start crying and I will know. Like, I've now grown to the point where. There are times where he'll start crying and I'll go, that's not a real cry. Yeah. You know the real ones. I know the real ones. They're piercing. He gives you a Tiger Woods. You got me, man. I walked right in. I was right about to go. I don't understand. He says insincere. He gives you a Tiger. He gives you a Tiger cry. But do you ever pick. I love when parents do this. They pick up their kid and they go, you're okay. He's okay. You're okay. He's okay. That was my mom. I love that. Just rub. Rub it. Rub it. I'm like, rub it. I'm talking.
do anything. Right. My wife goes the opposite direction. She comes in and it's always a panic. Oh my God. Yeah. That'll be me. Everything's fine. Just relax. Because the kids freaks out as soon as you start babbling. It's when you give them that attention, if they fall on skin in their knee, that you can see them sometimes look around. Yeah. And if you're like, if you ignore them, they'll be fine. But if you're like. Yeah. Yeah. They're not sure if that was supposed to hurt or not. Right. When we got our puppy, after a couple days, she jumped off the bed and limped a couple steps. Hysterically bawling. Really? I'm the worst pet owner. Me too. I mean, for hours, I couldn't stop. I was like, felt awful. Really? Yeah, Todd was like, get it together. Really? Yes. Like, you're that hysterical? It hurt me more than it hurt the dog, you know? Yeah, I'm going to grow up here. That's why I always tell my wife, Jamie, I say, listen, why don't we just adopt like a 16-year-old? Just 16, like, here's the keys to the car.
Be home by midnight or whatever in San Diego. It's 830, whatever it is. 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock. Oh, you don't want that? You don't want that running around the house? No, that sounds like a great time. Sounds amazing. Sounds like the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. It's great fun. I won't do well with it, dude. I just won't. But then you have to think about their laughter and their smile. It gives me anxiety just hearing it. It scares me. Scares me, the dead little exorcist. Imagine that on a plane with me as the dad. Shut up. Shut up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. We're judging. Deal with it. Deal with it. Get the pinky. Mikey. For example. For example. For example. Jamie was in town this weekend. We went to a lovely breakfast at a restaurant in Ocean Beach. And you can take your dogs there. So we had our two dogs, Penny Bell and Lucky. Call it OB here. OB, I'm sorry. OB. Now that you live here. We were at the OB. There was a couple next to us with a dog that barked and squealed for 45 minutes straight. I mean, every time somebody walked by, I was mortified. I was looking. I had my hand. I was like, Jamie, Jamie. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Right. They didn't even flinch. Right. They didn't even flinch just the whole time.
every time anybody walked by. I was like, it's the worst. How am I going to do this with a kid? Oh, dude. I'm telling you, when you're a kid, like last night at dinner, and Jake's like totally, like Jake is pretty chill. Yeah. Last night, we had company, and he waits till there's company. I know it, because I used to do it too. He waits till there's company. He's like, everybody! Like, sing a song and everybody's going to clap and cheer. And I'm like, inside voice, buddy, okay? Yeah, yeah. Use the inside voice real quick. Oh, I love when he does it, though. Oh, my gosh. And it was just like, and finally Rebecca was like, all right, honey, it's a Jake. All right, let's use the inside one now. The other voice that you have, let's use that one. And kids will do it to you. They want to show off. They want to show off. They come out juggling on the unicycle and there's people there. It's cute, but it's... I used to, like, perform. Me too, dude. Sing. Imagine that. With a microphone. Did you really? In front of people? Yeah. I did magic shows. Yeah. Card tricks. Oh, magic shows. I did that. Lauren was middle kid, so Lauren had to, like, really get in there, right? Yeah. I would be like, ah, cha-cha. She's tap dance. Lauren just did the greatest tap dance routine.
Hopefully you saw that in the webcam. Everyone get on the webcam right now and do it again, Woods. One more time. Please watch Woods doing this. What is that? I don't know, but I feel like I've seen it on Looney Tunes. It's a dumb endeavor. I get it, I get it. M1 Troy is on the line. What's up, Troy? Yeah, I've come to the conclusion that we've sterilized our society and our children's lives so much to the point to where they can't handle what comes across them. when they grow up. Oh man, I'm so conflicted because I think you're right and I think you're wrong. I think you're right and I think you're wrong. I'm like 50-50 exactly. If it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger. True. But what if it does kill them? That's the problem. That's the scary part. It's called Darwinism. It's called what? Darwinism. Darwinism, yeah, yeah. Natural selection. We do what we can to protect them, but the problem is we're protecting them to the point where they no longer have experiences in life. to prepare him for the real world. I agree, man. I agree. Rebecca says that to me all the time. She, you know, that, that, you know, they got to fall down. They got to, but you got to bleed a little, you know, right? Got to. Oh, I'm glad I'm hearing this. I'm glad I'm hearing this. It's important to hear. Cause every, I'm telling you, I hear the kid cry and my heart is like, I'm dying. It's, you know, I've talked to my dad about it a bunch and, you know, growing up playing sports.
We used to get hit in the head with baseballs, you know, and like scared them to death. Right. But then my brother would pop up and be like, oh, I'm fine. Not every kid pops up. Isn't the first thought that came into your head, don't be such a wimp. Get up. Come on. Kind of. Kind of, right? But I can tell you this. I remember playing baseball with my brother when I was like four or five, got hit in the face, was laying down crying. All I wanted him to do was come over and he refused. He was like, get up. Come on, dude. Get up. Come on, Cubby. Yeah, come on, Cubby. Stand up. M1 James. Hey, guys. What up? I think a big problem isn't so much that our society is a bunch of wimps. It's the fact that people will sue each other and sue organizations like Little League or the grape growers for anything. It's not so much that we're scared to death to feed kids grapes.
We're scared to feed a kid a grape. They choke on the grape. Now a lawyer's going to come along and sue somebody for $20 million. He's right. We've become very litigious. Yep. Sue happy. That's why we have warning labels in Gates and guardrails. It started with the hot coffee in the McDonald's lab. Well, that's why everything needs a label now to avoid a lawsuit. That's why they have to have it. She's right. If you trace the genesis of it, I think it may have been that dude with the coffee. As soon as people started suing tobacco companies for people getting lung cancer. Yeah. Okay, wait a minute, though. The lung cancer deal. There was no doubt about it. Like cigarettes were causing lung cancer. 100%. Okay. And back in the 50s, people didn't really get that it was causing lung cancer. They thought it was cool. The coffee thing, the deal with the coffee thing was it was frivolous. It was the first deal where it was frivolous. Dumb Dumb drops coffee on his bazinka bazoink. Those are some really, really nice names. Thank you. Thank you. He drops coffee on his own.
On his own piece. And he's suing for it. Dude, you drop coffee on your lap. It's supposed to be hot. It's supposed to be hot. And he sued. And he won. I think it was a woman. It was an older woman, I think. It was like boiling temperatures or something. She got like second degree burns. It's called coffee, guys. It's called coffee. If you look on all Starbucks cups and stuff, it says morning. This is a hot product. It's a hot product. Contents may be hot. Do not pour in your bazinkas, bazoink. That's right. Dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Do not bathe your peas in our coffee. That was one of the first cases. And then it was like, well, wait. Well, wait. How was I supposed to know this salsa might be spicy? Then you're finding thumbs and... soup and sandwiches. It's like, oh. Don't you think it's the courts that are really the problem though? Shouldn't they just throw those cases out? Yes. 100%. Should they? They should never be approved. What if you found a thumb in your... What if you found a thumb in your foot? My grandmother did. Don't eat it. Tomato paste. Yeah, tomato paste. A thumb? Thumb and a can of tomato paste. Is she a millionaire? No, she didn't have any inclination or even knowledge that you could sue.
Back then. I've actually thought about cutting my own thumb off. That's the thing. I think a lot of people would do that. Lauren, would you go back to the tomato paste if you found a thumb in it? I don't think I could ever have tomatoes again. Ever. Period. This is something that will interest guys, I think. Sienna has the longest lasting batteries. I heard that and I was like, what? I'm in. I'm in. I insist on Duracell. I bet you change your batteries probably every three days. Yeah. I change those Duracells on a rotating basis. But I am convinced that Duracell is the absolute best battery. And the bunny, I'm not down with the bunny. And that's Energizer. Have you ever done the rechargeable bit? Is your dad a rechargeable? I think he is. I think he is a rechargeable guy. Everyone's dad is a rechargeable guy. Everyone should be, though. Is there a bigger beating than having to buy batteries? When you're sitting there like...
Bro. Dude, I'm out of batteries. Except that your rechargeables last 25 minutes. I take the batteries out of other things and move them around. I do too. You always forget to buy batteries at the store. And light bulbs. Yeah. Never buy light bulbs. Do any of your dads keep batteries in the freezer? Yeah, I know. I've seen that before. I do. My dad has them in a shoebox. You do it? We have a ton of them in the freezer. In the hopes that one day we'll resurrect them and bring them back. But we've never tried a single one of them. So the pile just keeps growing and growing and growing. You have a freezer full of batteries. Oh, yeah. Nice. It's awesome. Sounds delicious. So what's the good ones? Well, Duracell is not on here. Are you kidding me? What? Not on here. Now, is it scientific? No, this isn't like a list. This is basically saying, you know, some of the batteries that say they're, you know, AA long-lasting are not as long-lasting as the regular ones. Okay, but it's not a list of what the best one is? It says, among the longest-lasting AA batteries overall were the Energizer's ultimate single-use lithium batteries. Which took 678 pictures.
This is in a camera before dying compared to 92 shots taken with the CVS generic batteries. Wow. I bet you Mikey switches. The lithium ones are rechargeable as opposed to the alkaline ones, right? Uh, yes. That's smart of you. No doubt. And the quadraphonic of you. Yeah, and the booster computer module. You know what? I was reading the world out. Greetings, dude, by the way. I was reading alkaline in here. We just gave it a Star Trek. Hey. I don't appreciate the reference, Mikey. Wait, TomTom lady. I'm just saying, it's kind of weird that you know that kind of stuff. Is it bad to be correct? All the time. Yes. Sometimes it can be bad to be correct all the time. I'm programmed to be correct no matter what. I know you are, but it's kind of weird sometimes when you just blurt it out because all we're talking about was batteries. Thank you. You're welcome, Mikey. Also in this article, it says generic batteries at most places.
They're cheaper for a reason, you know, except for the Kirkland, which is the Costco brand. Apparently their batteries deliver. I love Costco. My dad, my dad, instead of buying, you know, a Mac, will get like a DAC. Not Nikes, you get Sykes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And he's done it his whole life. And it all gets so furious. He gets so furious when it busts. Why do dads hate name brands? Because they think they want they're going to save four dollars. They ever try to throw one past you. My mom would come home with a shirt and she'd be like, oh, it's Ralph Lauren. I'm like, no, no, no, that's chaps. I'm not wearing it. Yeah. And it always it's like it's done. It's purple. I'm like. The article also says, and I don't know if I agree with this, but it says if you do have rechargeable batteries, use them for things like a camera, a digital camera, or a kid's toys. They say those are the best to use rechargeable batteries. I thought you meant let the kids play with them. No. And then the alkaline batteries, the regular ones, are good for remote control. Yeah, nanu, nanu, dude.
Remote controls, things that you use, like, you know, on a more daily basis, flashlights. Again, here we go, overthinking every stinking thing. We're trying to help people out. Yeah, but alkaline, that stuff will, like, if that's in a landfill and it leaks back into the soil, I'm just saying, it's not good to just throw those things away. We should be using rechargeable ones. What will happen so the alkaline will leak down and it will kill China? Then it'll get into the groundwater, which will get into our drinking water, which will get into our systems. It can't be good. What if she's right? What if she is right? It's just too much. I'll have to be reprogrammed for that, Mikey. Thank you. I haven't been given a lesson on landfills yet. That's the Tom Tom lady. Tom Tom lady will, from time to time, give us her two cents with... Her Star Trek fingers up. We really enjoy it. Let me tell you, you're going to like this. When we come back, I got a story to tell you about our girl, Sienna. Uh-oh. Who is getting married this weekend. Maddie. Maddie. Maddie. Maddie. Married. It's so weird. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. There's more to life than a Volvo.
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Yeah, Woodsy uses some product, okay? It's hard work looking this good. Write that down, please. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a good one. Sienna says, oh, my goodness. I was out getting a smoothie yesterday, enjoying some quality time, when all of a sudden these arms reached around me from behind. By myself. I was alone time. Creepy. Oh, gosh. I turned around expecting to see a friend hugging me, but no, it was someone I'd never seen before in my life. He immediately apologized and said that I look just like his girlfriend. Awkward. Extremely awkward. I was sitting just by myself, you know, sipping on a little smoothie out in the courtyard. And these arms, hairy arms, reach around me from behind. It was not me. I'm like, oh, what? Somebody use that line. Dude. The look on both of our faces. Well. Priceless. We were having lunch last week, Rebecca and I. She was wearing white.
top with a little red sweater with the button done at the top, right? Okay. And she went and sat down. I was paying at the counter, turned around, went to go find her and found her, go to sit down with her, put my hand on the chair, was right about to pull the chair out and realized that's not my wife. And I just let go of the chair, walked away. Did the girl look at you? Uh, yeah. Yeah, and I went back to my wife. I found my wife and I said, I almost just sat down with someone because I thought it was you. And she gave me a look like, what is this all about? You creep. You creep. And I go, babe, there's a woman over there wearing a white top with a red sweater and platinum blonde hair. And she's like, let me see. And she started laughing. She's like, wow. I mean, it looked just like, I mean, she's wearing the same thing, had the same color hair and the whole deal. There's nothing more uncomfortable. It makes me nervous, man, because I'm a grabber. I'm a butt grabber. I'm a boob grabber. Are you really? Oh, big time. Yeah, write those down. Big time. Big, big, big time. In public? 100%. Really? Yes. Aren't all guys... That surprises you, Mike? I'm not. I don't grab this stuff. Weird. I've done it. Yeah. I thought every guy does it. I had a boob grabber, dude. What have you done? I'll grab them. My friend and Kim look a lot alike.
Or her friend. And I came up with a full-on grab. I'm full-handed booty. What? No. And I just was dumbfounded. Sorry. You're like, have you been working out? Not even a stranger? Ooh. That's even awkward. Wife's friend. Good move. Wife's friend. Good move. Ouch. Your wife's like, yeah, sure you did that on accident. You've been waiting to do that for years. Well, they do know me, so. No, Jay, we're not having a key party here. Has anybody done this? 570-1949. I've done it, but not to, like, I didn't do anything too bad, but I was, Matt and I, my boyfriend went running on the beach. That's what Todd and I do every day. Yeah, I do that every hour. Me and Mikey. We went running like a week or so on the beach, and I was like messing with my shoelaces or something, and I was down low. I didn't know that he had gone towards the water and was like fiddling around with whatever he found. And the next guy that like I stood... That's... Fiddling around. But yeah, I stood up and the next guy that was just walking in the direction that I was walking in, I just like leaned in and was walking with him about to be like, babe, what are we doing for dinner? And I'm like fully leaned in and I realize it's not him.
And he looks at me like I'm crazy. And without even saying anything, I just pivoted on one foot. Wow. And walked towards Matt. Wow. And I was like, did you see what happened? And I told him. You're like, I just made out with that guy. Yeah. Totally by accident. Totally by accident. And he was like wearing a wetsuit, holding a surfboard. I don't know how I mistook him. He's like, babe, you made love with that guy. I like how Lauren didn't say I just turned around and went to find Matt. She's like, I pivoted. Yes. And got out of there. It's called the About Face. You've never done it, Woods? No. Sienna, I know it was done to you, but have you ever done it? I've not done it to, like, a guy or my significant other. I've definitely done it to, like, friends. My mom, I remember doing it all the time when I was little, thinking my mom, someone was my mom, you know? Yeah, yeah. M1 Jill. Yes. You got grabbed? No, actually it was my mother. My sisters, we were having dinner at, our house and my mom was um helping like get something out of the cupboard or something and her boyfriend oh my sister's boyfriend came and walked up and grabbed my mom because he thought probably the worst one ever he thought that your mom was your sister wow yes oh wow she must have a hot mom it's like the ultimate compliment to that mom yeah she's like thank you do it again yeah i mean
It was like he goosed her. Goosed? What is that? What is goosed? Grab butt. It's sticking a little beep. Oh, really? Oh, wow. And so he, yeah. Question. So that was a little bit embarrassing. We all had a good laugh about it. Jill, question. Yes. Has it ever come up again between them? Or is this something that... He's married to somebody else. Okay. They couldn't survive it. Yeah, they couldn't get over it. Unspoken awkwardness. Oh, that's something that I would not ever bring up ever again. I would just want it to be forgotten. Please let this moment go away. Oh, that is, oh. M1 Erin. Erin, are you there? Yes. Go ahead. We were at a kind of a big 50th birthday party. A cop just pulled up beside me, and I'm talking to my speaker phone. Where's the Bluetooth? She doesn't have the Bluetooth. I spent all day at traffic school on Saturday. Okay, yeah, put your phone down, Erin. Put your phone down. He's gone. Okay. Back up to my ear. Yeah, she's like, so anyway. I love it. She's like me. And he was the only other one wearing a suit, and he was bending over.
And I went, you know, I kind of moved my hands under the jacket of his suit and rubbed his tushy. And he did not move. And he turned around and it was my neighbor, my kind of geeky engineer. Wow. I love it. I've been waiting for you to do that. Yeah, I feel the same way you do. I feel the same way. I know it's taken our love this long because it's been so taboo. But since you're putting it out there. I'm in. I'm in. Thought about it, I'm in. Whoa. Did you say anything or did you just go, oh, I'm dreadfully sorry? No. We laughed. You laughed. Awkwardly. He still looks at me like that was good. Oh, that's so creepy. He just hands her a business card. Here you go. Call me. Call me at the office. Creepy. M1, Courtney, are you there? Courtney? Courtney, are you there? Yeah. Go ahead. I've actually had it happen to me. I was walking in Walmart, and there's this guy who, like, was kind of standing close to me, and I'm pushing a cart. And I was like, oh, this guy's weird. So I keep going forward, and the guy keeps, like, following me. And he's, like, really close to me. I was like, what the heck is this guy's problem? And then I turn around to look at the body wash, and this guy puts his arm around me and, like, has it, like, leaning on the shopping cart. And I turn around, and he's like, oh, he's like, you're not my wife.
And then his wife is down the aisle going, honey, what the heck are you doing? Oh, wow. Courtney, it's good to hear from you again. Yeah. Creepy. It's been a while since I've seen you. Creepy. It's creeping me out. Oh, my gosh. That's weird. I almost did it, though. I mean, I didn't do any kind of grabbing, but I almost sat down. You really never grab a boob here and there? I don't grab. You need to start giving the smack on the bottom, maybe a boob grab from time to time. Oh, don't corrupt him. I'm telling you, if I did, my wife would be like, What are you doing? I think it's kind of nice every once in a while. Please do it. Can you imagine how I'm in the car. I have my hands at 10 and 2. I'm driving. And then just because I don't want to feel left out, I keep looking straight forward and just put my right hand out. So slowly. So slowly. Slowly reaching for the chest. And she's like. What's going on? Or worse yet, she doesn't say anything. Neither one of you ever say anything. Never bring it up again. And then you bring your hand back to the wheel and keep driving. So that was a delicious dinner. What did you think? Just so uncomfortable. Mikey, you have like the biggest case of left out syndrome. So you would do it just to be able to talk about it. Do it tonight. Just so that I can feel like I'm a part of the crew. Guys, I did it. I want to hear you do it and hear how it went. Do it. She's like.
What's the matter with you? Hey, creep. Hey, weirdo. Hey, weirdo. Maybe she'll be like, yeah. Yeah. Maybe not. Maybe not. Hey, how about you do it and report back to us? Yeah. I really want you to try it out. She calls 911. You're her husband. M1 Brooke. Hello. What's up? Hey, this is M1 Brock. Oh, Brock. Don't mistake it with Brooke. Yeah, seriously. That's easy. Sorry. Sorry. Go ahead, Brock. Extra. Hey, I was working at a church event and I was... sitting down in a chair and there's a girl next to me who I thought was my wife. And so as a joke, I leaned over and I licked her arm. It was the minister. That's the best one. That was amazing. Why would you lick her? Licking an arm is better than juicing your mother-in-law. Yeah. Licking a stranger's arm is... How do you explain that? I want to hear the fallout. Yeah. Yeah, what happened? When I was done... When I was done... High school girl and she was staring at me in fear. Oh!
It keeps getting worse. But why would you even lick an arm? What made you be like, I would lick that arm? I would do it. Yeah, Woodsy would do that with his wife. I would do it in a heartbeat. Totally. Just like lick her arm? Yeah, or her neck or her ear or like whatever. Can I ask you guys, what would have been worse is mistaken identity? Licking her arm or giving her baby kisses on the arm? Like what would have been more? Licking is creepy. Imagine if a stranger licked your arm. Ew. You would be like... I might have it removed. Yeah. So, is he still in the line? Yeah. What happened? Yeah. What did she do? I looked up at her and her face was like total fear. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am so sorry. My wife is on the other side of me laughing. Oh my gosh. At a church event, no less. Oh, the worst. She's like, I thought this was a safe place. Yeah. I'm going to church. I'm going to the bar instead. Yeah, it's safer. It's safer. Wow, Brock, that's awesome. Thank you, man. That was great. Let's see, M1, is this M1 Kyle? Yes, this is. What's up? Good to hear you on the radio. Thank you, man. And before you do this to your wife, this is what you have to do. Yes, you have to do it. Open your phone up, play it off like you're texting, put it on speakerphone, and then hit the record button, and then do it so we can listen to it. Yeah, I want to hear the reaction.
Yeah. Well, it's my wife. I mean, I can, obviously. Yeah. It's just certainly not really our dynamic. Just do it. Just grab a boob. That would be hilarious. I'll get you a handful of cans, dude. Okay. Oh, my God. Mark that. You're married now, you know? It's not like. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can. It's just one of those things where it's like, if she were to do, like, I'm trying to think. She gave you a little pat. Oh, yeah. I'd be like. You what? No, you'd be like, yeah. I bet you Sienna's a grabber. I guarantee you. It would freak me out. Guarantee? She's not saying a word. Just a little. I like to mess with him every now and again. I hear you. This is what it's going to sound like. Okay, that's going to be the sound. No, that's your whistle? That's my whistle. That's yours. Yeah. I'm like, no means no, babe. No means no. This is my body. And it belongs to me. Amazing. Take back the night. That's right. M1 John. What is it? M1 John what? John Pan. Yeah, go ahead, John Pan. Hey, so Mikey, back in Rochester, New York. I don't know if you remember these, the DZ Discovery Zones. Yeah. Yeah. DZ Discovery Zones. Yeah, I do. Exactly, exactly. So you know how they had the two things that you'd crawl through in the ball pits and stuff? Yeah. I'm there with my mom about 10 years ago. I'm 12 years old.
She's following behind me, and I'm shooting through the tubes. And she comes up, and she turns the corner and starts telling me again, smacks my butt. So I'm like, oh, ha, ha. And then I turn around, I see her, and she scoots, you know, in a tube just to the side. I turn around and start following her around. Your mom got in the tubes? Yeah, your mom. That's an awesome mom. Yeah. So, you know, we're running around there. And then I see the same pair of mom jeans on right in front of me. I'm like, oh, I'm going to get back at this one here. I crawl up real fast and go, wham! I love that he's calling in right now because that is something you don't forget. Yeah, never. He was 12 years old. A stranger. What did she do? What did she do? So the lady turns around and gives me the evilest eye. Yeah. I'm like, oh, no, I run. I mean, when I'm little, I go away. You know where I'll eat pizza? It's my buddy's birthday party. Yeah. The lady's on the table next to us. No way. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hey, thanks for the call. She's like, there's the little jerk. Yeah, no kidding. Hey, Spencer, are you there? Yeah. Tell us who you kissed. I accidentally kissed my mother-in-law. Oh, yes. How do you accidentally do that? Well, my wife is a doula, and oftentimes she'll have a birth and leave in the middle of the night. Explain what a doula is to everybody but Lauren. I don't know. What's a doula?
What is it? She helps with birth. Like a midwife. Like a midwife, yeah. A doula? She helps out. She goes to the hospital, helps out with a birth. Got it. So she had apparently left, and I didn't realize she was on call for a birth. And when I got up to go into work at 3.30 in the morning, she wasn't in bed. And I thought, oh, I went downstairs, and I thought that was her laying on the bed. on the couch and that she had fallen asleep watching TV or something. So I went to give her a kiss. Fortunately, I just gave her a peck on the cheek and she sat up and it was my mother-in-law. Oh my gosh. It could have been a lot worse, dude. It could have been way worse. It could have been way worse. One hand on a boob. Yeah. Yeah. It could have been that. It could have been that. You could have gone down there with no clothes on thinking it was safe. You know what I mean? Oh my goodness. Oh, that is... Thank you for the call. Those are good calls. Great calls, man. That was awesome. I like how we got guys and girls there. I couldn't do it. When we come back, we're going to do Name That Commercial Jingle. Ooh, I like it. Yeah, I lose. This is the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast, and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs.
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I had to keep passing by her. You know how it zigzags? Every time you see her, just go, sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that again. Sorry about that. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, it's pretty bad. It's embarrassing. Thank you. Emma and Jessie, are you there? Yes, I am. What did you do? My boyfriend and I were in Home Depot and, you know, like the Home Depot zone you can get in. We kind of split ways. looking at different stuff. And then I see, I finally find him and I go up and I grab his hand and he's looking at one side of the aisle and I'm looking at the other side of the aisle and we walk like down those long aisles, like two of them. And I turn around to say something to him and it's not Kevin. What? The dude didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. Wow. When I saw his face, I, like, threw his hand back at him. What a creep, right? Like, how creepy. He was like, wow, she's into me. It's like jackpot, dude. I knew coming to Home Depot was going to pay off. Yeah, it was going to pay off. I told my boyfriend about it, like, months later. I didn't tell him that. Yeah, you were creeped out. Yeah, he would be like, where is he? Which one? Take me back. That's so creepy. Thank you for the call. That's M1 Jessie.
Hey, by the way, want to let people know IHOP's coming in here tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow, National Pancake Day. I'm in. Thank you very much. And so they're going to be doing their signature buttermilks, the buttermilk pancakes. And they decided to basically kick this sucker off and get it going with a nationwide thing designed to thank everybody that goes in there and also give back to the community. Now, here's what's going to happen. They're going to try to raise some money. In 06, they raised $52,000 to support Rady Children's Hospital, which is awesome. I love Rady Children's Hospital. Love raising money for Rady Children's Hospital. And if you visit one of the 19 IHOP locations to support the National Pancake Day tomorrow, you will be given to Rady Children's. And if you can't make it to IHOP, you can text. R-A-D-Y to 85944, and you donate $5 to Rady Children's of San Diego. Very cool. One-time charge of $5 will be added to your mobile phone bill. And it's really cool. And you can also give online if you want to. You go to sdkids.org. Great thing. Awesome. Great program. And just doing good stuff. So check it out.
A couple of things that I did not get to hit on is the 10 cities for real estate deals. San Diego, I'm guessing, is not one of them. No. Any other guesses? A bunch of Dallas is on there. Yeah. Vegas? Vegas. Definitely. I think Vegas is getting more expensive, though. Is it? Because I always heard that you could get a deal in Vegas, like a house. Scott's deal. Yep, there's Arizona. Let me try to find Arizona. Phoenix is on there. There's an area in Texas. Houston. Fort Worth. Arlington. Really? Is it? Yeah, Fort Worth slash Arlington. Cincinnati. Memphis. I love Cincinnati. Salinas, California. I grew up in Gilroy, man. Salinas was 30 minutes away and it was just... How about Yuma, Arizona? Dude, I live there too. I know.
Only Phoenix from Arizona is on here. I've lived in all the armpits of the United States. Not Gary, Indiana, pal. Haven't lived there. Got gassed there one time. Coldest I've ever been in my life. Terrible. Gary, Indiana? The worst place you've ever seen. I spent three years there one night. Thank you. It's Michael Jackson's hometown. It is. It looks like a war zone when you drive through it. Every time I hear Gary, Indiana, I think of that play, The Music Man. Have you ever heard of that? Yeah. Okay. Gary, Indiana. Yeah, exactly. I was in that play, actually. It's a turd. It's awesome. Fayetteville, North Carolina. Las Cruces, New Mexico. Yeah. Mobile, Alaska. Mobile. Yeah. Washington. Mobile, Alabama or Alaska? Alabama. It says ALA. Sorry about that. All right. Washington and Medford, Oregon. There you go. Beautiful. Get into those places. Washington, D.C., really? It just said Washington. Probably D.C. Probably D.C., yeah. Wow. I would think it's... Because they're a city. They're cities. Hey, Dakota Fanning's birthday is today. She's turning 48 years old. Is that the deal? No. She looks not a day over 60. How old do you... Let's take guesses. Yeah. What do you think, Woods? Dakota Fanning. You know she was in... Yeah, refresh me. She was in everything. I Am Sam. I Am Sam, yeah. She was in a movie with Denzel Washington, Man on Fire. That was a good movie. Genius. Great movie.
She was in Uptown Girls with Brittany Murphy. I've never heard of her. I'm going to go with 20. Really? No, no. 16. Yes. I guess I can't get too creepy about her then yet. She still looks so tiny, but she's going to be in that new Joan Jett movie. I know. I can't believe she's going to be in that. And Eclipse. Oh, really? The new Dracula. It's going to be really good. In fact, I think Lauren's planning on camping out to get tickets to that movie. Yeah, you know, I am embarrassed to admit that I have not seen New Moon yet. I haven't either. I can't believe it. I will watch it, but I won't tell a soul. I've seen it. You've seen it? You've seen it, Jay? Of course. Did you like it? Where's your sack, dude? What do you mean, of course? What is that, of course? Why wouldn't you? I mean, it's still a good movie just because it's, you know, I hate the gushy parts of it, but it's still, you know, it's still a good movie. Oddly enough. The books are better than the movie. Weird. That never happens. I really like those Dracula movies. Vampire movies. Dracula is a specific vampire. Got it. Greetings. Credit card traps out there. Be careful. Because doesn't that new legislation go into effect today? Today, the new Card Act, which apparently is going to be keeping cards from increasing the rates.
So it's supposed to be a lot better for you. It was signed into law last May, but it promises consumers more transparency about their credit card bill. Let's see. We got to go. And you can call us. 570-1949 is our number. And you can also text 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to get a hold of us. At the beginning and end of every show, we do open phones so you can call about anything you want to. And, yeah, do that right now. Can I point something out really quick? Yeah. The movie Valentine's Day is still doing really great in the box office. What was the deal? It came in at number two. Did it? Shutter Island, Leonardo DiCaprio's movie came in at number one. I want to see that too. Jay, you got to pick that. Jay, yes. Avatar is still holding in though. No, it's you. I'm last. Are we going this week? I don't think we're going this week. What? There's too much going on. Jay. Here we go. It starts. We have a meeting all day on Wednesday. Oh, that's right. Wednesday, Thursday. Perfect. Skip this week. I know. I think we're going to have to. And Sienna's getting married on Saturday. Yeah, there's no way I can do it. It's a minor obligation. Yeah. It's not that big of a deal. It's a minor thing called your wedding. I can't even tell you how many things I have to do today. Really? Tomorrow. I can't imagine. I mean, I don't even want to think about it. Soon it will be over. Thank goodness. You'll be a married woman. Thank goodness. You're going to be a wife. And then it's really over. I know. I'm just kidding. I'm excited. That's such an old bitch. I feel like we already are married, kind of. Yeah.
Hillary just walked in. Hillary, was your wedding a big, did you have a big blown out wedding or a small wedding? No, we had a big blown out. Did you? Yeah. You did? We did. We had, I think, like 225. Oh, my goodness. It's a big one. How long were you guys engaged? It was a big party. We were engaged for almost exactly a year. Who did the planning mostly? We did it together. I mean, I guess I did, you know, I don't know, because I'm the woman. Rebecca gave me the time. To show up. Oh, really? Yeah, Jeremy did a lot of it. We did a lot of stuff. Like, we did a lot of the wedding ourselves, that we made our own invitations. That's cool. We did, yeah, they were mixed CDs, our invites. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. So we did a lot together. Yeah. That's cool. Your boyfriend, your fiancé. Todd was part of one thing, and that was when we had a conference call meeting with the band. He wanted to suggest a few songs. And the bachelor party.
Yeah, he did that all on his own. He was in on that. Mm-hmm. I planned my entire wedding, by the way. Wow. My mom and I did, yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Are you talking to me about sex? Yeah. Weird. Thank you. Well, dude, if I didn't do it, it wasn't going to get done. It wasn't going to get done? Yeah. TCB. The kid can get it done. Take care of business. M1 Chris, are you there? Hey, what's up, man? What's going on? First time I called in since you made the change. Nice, dude. How are you doing, bro? Good, bro. How are you? I'm doing good. Long time listener. It's a little awkward, but, you know, I'm on your camp. Nice, dude. Hey, I was just wondering for those people that don't get up at 6 a.m., could you maybe possibly introduce everyone on your show? Yes, I can. I am the host. My name is Mikey. That's my boy Woods sitting over there. He's 34 years old and a fan of the Yankees and wears a Yankee cap. And Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. Hi. And Sienna is the 23-year-old that's going to be 24, getting married in five days. And then Jay is our executive producer. He's 46 years old, even though he looks like he's 31. Am I correct? Did Jay not come from Clear Channel? He did. Yeah, and Sienna, I remember you from covering for Sky on maternity leave. Yeah, I made the rounds over there. I found Lauren on YouTube. Really? Yeah.
And Woodsy, I remember from some pretty crazy days back in Dallas. Yeah, I definitely know Woodsy from long-time listener. That's right, man. It's a real deal. It's good to hear from you, brother. Yeah, it's good to hear from you too, bro. Thank you. Later. Thank you. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Enjoy the rest of your day. We'll come back tomorrow morning, 6 a.m. We'll do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out late. The music, all M94.9.