The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/22/12
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
gallbladder surgeryhybrid showworst songsname that tunebaltic seaobese kid listparodybuzzword gamenomophobiaweight loss advicemotorhead box setengagement ring
Woodsy, LOB, and Jay host a hybrid show while Mikey recovers from gallbladder surgery, mixing best‑of clips with live news and sports. They play games like Worst Songs, Name That Tune, and Buzzword, and share memorable stories such as Mikey’s Baltic Sea anomaly, LOB’s engagement and wedding plans, and Jay’s parody lists about Mikey’s obesity and LOB’s persona. The crew debates topics from nomophobia and gluten‑free diets to Jay’s controversial every‑other‑day eating advice and the Motorhead box‑set critique, while callers congratulate LOB and discuss local news. Throughout the broadcast, humor arises from parodies, cheeky banter about LOB’s outfits, and the absurd pilot story, keeping the audience engaged despite Mikey’s absence.
What happened, in order
Opening Hybrid Show Intro
Woodsy announces Mikey's gallbladder surgery and introduces the hybrid show format with best-of clips and live headlines.
LOB's Booty Short Fantasy
The crew recalls LOB's revealing outfit at a fantasy event, describing cheek action and Jay's teasing about her look.
LOB's New Orleans Business Trip
LOB shares that her only New Orleans visit was a business trip with Clown, contrasting the hedonism of Mardi Gras with their professional experience.
Jay's Tough‑Love Parody Intro
Jay introduces his upcoming parody of Mikey's surgery as 'a little mean' and describes it as tough love.
Day in History Highlights
The team notes historical events for Feb 22: Woolworth’s first five‑and‑dime, Elvis’s chart debut, and Pebbles Flintstone’s TV birth.
Mikey’s Baltic Sea Mystery
Mikey recounts a treasure hunter’s discovery of a jumbo‑jet‑sized, Millennium‑Falcon‑shaped object with long drag marks on the Baltic Sea floor.
Top Signs Mikey Was an Obese Kid
Jay reads a humorous list of childhood obesity signs for Mikey, from syrup‑filled toys to pudding condiment.
Jay’s LOB Parody Word List
Jay shows his notebook of insulting words for a parody song about LOB, including 'old', 'big butt', 'hookers', and 'dark meat'.
Buzzword Game: Glass & Horse
Players compete in Buzzword with clues for 'glass' (glass ceiling, broken glass) and 'horse' (horseradish, horse hockey, reverse cowgirl).
Jay’s Every‑Other‑Day Diet Advice
Jay presents a controversial weight‑loss, smarter‑living tip: eat one day, fast the next, sparking debate over its healthiness.
Too Much Information Pilot Story
An airline pilot’s true tale of a hydraulics leak leads to duct‑taping a plane door and flying three and a half hours to see his mother in Jackson Hole.
People mentioned
WoodsyLauren O'BrienJay IsbellMikeyEmilyRebeccaMatt CommerceAdrianDr. DodgeballScoobyMeter ReaderWallySuaCarolyn
35,795 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Hey, good morning, everybody. Good morning. It's Woodsy, by the way. Mikey is out today. He had gallbladder surgery yesterday. Rest reduction. Gallbladder surgery, and he's doing great. I wanted to let everybody know. He's doing fine. I heard from his wife, Rebecca, yesterday. Came out of surgery. He was texting funny stuff. Yeah, and goofy stuff. Nude pictures. Yes, nude pictures. Oh, Jay. So he's doing much better, but today we're doing something new and pretty fun and interesting. We're going to do what we're calling a hybrid show. So we're going to be playing some best of clips throughout the day and also bringing you headlines and talking about what's going on in the world in San Diego. In the entertainment world, we've got some great audio today for you. We've got all kinds of fun stuff planned, so make sure you're staying with us throughout the day. If you want to call in, our number is 570-1949. We're on from 530 to 9 now, and we've been doing that since the beginning of the year. Personally, I like it. I like it. I love it. Man, I'm getting home. I'm getting everything I need to do knocked out, and I'm getting home at like 1130.
Sweet, isn't it? That's after the gym, the grocery store, everything I need to get done. And I'm home. I'm done for the day. Yeah, there we go. We're getting our bearings in here. It's weird. It's so weird. It's so weird without Mikey. It is weird without Mikey. And, you know, Jay is actually sitting in the captain's chair. I'm sitting in my normal spot. LOB is sitting in her normal spot. We've got Emily, who is screening phones for us today. So call if you want to hear her lovely voice. And we're just hanging out, man. We're going to have a good time. Mike had sent us an email last week and he said, hey, explore the space. So we're going to explore the space real good. Yeah, we're going to explore it real good. So hopefully, you know, he's feeling better today. Hopefully he'll be back tomorrow. And but, you know, tune in. It should be there should be some train wreck moments. today with us running the show. And thanks very much to him for letting us do that. And we're very excited to be here with you. And we wanted to be live for you today. So we are. Let me introduce the show real quick. To my left is the very lovely, newly engaged Lauren O'Brien. She is 31 years old and she is a stone cold fox. She's off the market, fellas. She's off the market. I got to tell you, LLB, not to be disgusting or creepy.
When you walked out there Friday in your little booty short getup, I was like, oh, wow. Like a kid in a candy store. Dude. I don't look at you that way. I look at you like a little sister. I don't think people were expecting that. I look at you that way. Even my, I was going to say my boyfriend, my fiance, Matt Commerce, sent me a text and he said, could you be any hotter? You looked so foxy. All the girls did. If you don't know what we're talking about on Friday, L.O.B. got to live out a fantasy. And I guess you guys got to live out a bit of a fantasy as well. Yeah, my fantasy was lived out. Absolutely. We got to see L.O.B. and 10 other girls, 10 or 11 other girls. There was 11 of us all together. And Jay called me afterwards. He's like, I can't believe we have such good-looking listeners. Oh, yeah. I know. Stunning. Those girls look so good dressed up, and there was a lot of cheek action going on. Oh, yeah, a lot of cheek, a lot of cleave. There was a lot of, yeah, a lot of the good stuff, you know, hanging around on stage. You can settle down over there. He's about to come out of his skin. He's so excited. Relaxed here. We got a whole show. Yeah, we got a whole show. Sitting across from me is Jay Isbell. He is our producer. He is, what, 48 years old? 48. That's damn near 50. Damn near 50. Wow.
You getting AARP magazine sent to you yet? No? Not yet? No. Wow. We got orange. Like I said, our phone screener is Emily. How old are you, Emily? I got to turn her on. Almost going to be 20. Almost going to be 20. You know, when I was 19 years old, there's no way I was getting up this early for any job. For any job. I was probably still partying. Yeah. I was drunk at this point. I was a bartender and I would get home some mornings at 7 o'clock in the morning when I lived in Chicago. The bar shut down at 5. I used to bring in my parents' morning paper. Oh, dude. What a dirtbag I bet you were when you were 19 or 20. I don't even want to go down that road. Wow. So anyway, we are here. Call in if you want to say hello. 570-1949. Mikey is out today. And we're going to be here. We're going to be live for you, hanging out, having a good time. So Mardi Gras has officially ended. Now, I was under the impression yesterday that Mardi Gras was starting. Yes. It was actually ending. It was Fat Tuesday. You should know that. You just call it Tuesday. I just call it Tuesday. I was waiting for that. Oh, yeah. He's been sitting on that for 24 hours. Yeah. So Fat Tuesday was yesterday. I did not go out and get my drink on. Surprisingly, I did not either. You know, I'm 36 years old. I did. Had to give up. Get up at 3 a.m. You did. You went out last night. Went out last night. Went to a little bar and just watched the sunset. I did not go to Mardi Gras. Wow, Jay. Did you get any beads? I didn't know where you were going. No, I didn't get any beads at all.
Just wine and cheese. I was going to get some jambalaya, but I did not. Instead, I had frozen pizza, which is almost as good. It's almost as good. I had one of those weird days yesterday. You guys know. I was kind of on my period, and I was in a bad mood. I was just grouchy, man. I had to force myself to go to the gym and work out. And then I had to force myself to go to the grocery store. Yeah. And I had to force myself to cook. Yeah. All I wanted to do, I wanted to get in bed. I wanted to pull the covers up over my head. I want to go to sleep until it's time to get up. And I didn't. I forced myself. I went to the sheriff's department to take care of a ticket. Wow. Like I was knocking stuff out yesterday. I think we all were having that kind of day because I had definitely had that. I decided I had to start training for my big ride I'm doing in April. Right. And I went out and did 10 miles and I was just like. You love to tell everybody how many miles. Jay, that is not the same thing. So every day I'm going to do 10 miles from this point forward. That's like me coming in going, LLB.
So yesterday. You went to the gym, same thing. Well, I went to the gym, but I'm not going to give you my regimen. I'm not going to tell you. Riding my bike. I can't just say riding my bike. Sounds like I'm out in the street, you know, with the kids riding in circles. You said that was like me. I had to go out and ride 10 miles yesterday. Well, I had to do 10 miles a day. Okay, I did 60 reps of hammer curl. Wow, really? Yeah, I did shoulder press. Before you go too far, I would like to ask Jay, what are 10 miles? Is it like riding a 10 bike? 10 miles. Oh, 10 miles. 10 miles. Oh, okay. Except on Saturdays or Sunday, I'm going to do 25. Okay. So a total of 75 in a week. Okay. Oh, boy. So just so you know, now you're informed. So 10 miles. You're armed. Not 10 miles. Water cooler talk. Well, at any rate, Mardi Gras is officially over. I didn't celebrate it. I don't celebrate anymore because I'm married. I'm 36. I don't care anymore. Big player in college was a... Huge player in college. It was the Mecca. If you could get to Mardi Gras at some point during college, you made it. And I did it. I did it one time. I'd never do it again. It's insane there. You can't even walk through the streets. No, you can't.
Did you ever make the trip, L.O.B.? I did not. I only went to New Orleans once, and it was with you, Clown. That was with us, yeah. And we went for a business trip, so it was all business. All business. 94.9 was down at the one in downtown here. They had a good-looking float. Yeah, did you see the float? Mm-hmm, saw the float. Was it good? 94.9 had it going on. It looks like it was probably 10 guys to each girl that was on the side of the parade route. That sounds awesome. Yeah. It's a different story when you're down in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. It is... It's hedonism. I mean, you you have never seen the things that you will see. Yeah, I will never forget as long as that we drove from South Bend, Indiana. It was 22 hours and we drove straight through and we got to the hotel and we laid down. We were going to get a little rest. And my buddy and I looked at each other and go. What are we doing? Let's go. You get there, you're like, we're going. We would get, you get drunk three or four times in one day. I mean, it's a crazy, crazy thing. Well, of course, that leads us into what today is. Mardi Gras is over, but today is Ash Wednesday. Now, I have a question, L.O.B. I've never participated in Ash Wednesday. Is it for Catholics only? I think it's technically for Catholics. Like, I used to go before school and get ashes on my forehead, which was always nice, you know.
Because my mom always told me that you could not wipe them off. They had to just go off on their own. I thought it was like 24 hour rule. What? You could wipe them off the next day. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. But she told me like, you can't just go wipe them off. So I would go into school with ashes on my forehead. Yeah. And, you know, you're from the Northeast. There's a lot of Catholics up in the Northeast. I'm sure a lot of kids had them on their forehead. Oh, yeah. A lot of them did. And I think it's. It's palms that they do or something like that that they make the ashes from. But I always gave up something I had to. And then there was no meat on Fridays. Right. But in my family, we were allowed to have cheat days on Sundays. I don't know. I have a lot of cheat days. Yeah, I know you do. If it ends in Y. If it ends in Y. I'm good Monday through Thursday, Friday, and then I'm done. Well, so today is Ash Wednesday. You will see people walking around with ashes on their forehead. Don't get freaked out. Basically what it is, it's a way for, it says in this article that Christians around the world are marking the beginning of Lent. And for Lent, you're supposed to give something up. I guess I'll, I don't know what I'd give up. I guess I'll give up green vegetables. I'm going to just give them up. No, it's supposed to be a sacrifice. For 40 days. For 40 days, I will do it. It's supposed to be a sacrifice of something that you indulge. Wine coolers.
No, but you don't have those. Zima. Zima. Like if you gave up snuff. There's no way. See, that's the challenge. But there's no way. I'm not giving up snuff. I'm going to try to give up a couple things. Like? I've always tried to give up coffee, but with this job, there's absolutely no way. There's no way. Absolutely no way. I did it for a month. So, okay. See, Lent is 40 days. I'm going to try to give up sweets for 40 days. Can't do it. You can't do it. I'm going to try. You're crazy. You can't do it. Oh, when I was a kid, I had to do stuff. My mom would be like. On me. And then I'm going to try to give up gluten. Because it's become a problem. Yeah. Gluten in your life has become a problem. Well, okay. So I hear from all these people. These people are quote unquote allergic. Right. To gluten. What's gluten? Gluten? Gluten? Gluten! So I want to see. And they're like, oh my God, my life has changed when they give up the gluten. So I want to see if anything happens. What is gluten? Everything. Yeah. It's got anything with, like, the grains in it. Flour. Mm-hmm. I'm gluten intolerant. No, you're not. But I eat it anyway. No, you're not. You're not gluten intolerant. I think my friend has a theory, she's a nutritionist, that everyone is actually gluten intolerant. To some degree. Like, we shouldn't be having too much of that wheat. That reminds, like, you guys know I've done some dieting. You know, you see what I eat in the morning. I eat apples, almonds, blueberries. I don't, I'm not.
getting burritos and stuff like that. I'm not getting Denny's anymore. That we know of. Well, you see me. You see me every morning. I saw a picture of you eating a sundae, though. Well, that was on a Sunday. So you can eat Sundays on Sunday. You guys know, through the week, I'm very diligent about what I eat. Well, at least when you see me. And you can only take me to my word that I am every other time. Right. For instance, you know, last night I made stir fry. But I'll tell you, when I do... eat junk food, I feel like crap. Yeah, that's a good sign. My body has changed into where if I have a little bit of Dr. Pepper, I'm like, my stomach hurts. That's what it is. It's so weird. I did the thing where I had to remove gluten from my diet for a month and then slowly pull everything back in. Slowly put everything back in. And it may be sick for a while, but I got used to it again. I'm going to see how it goes because I keep hearing great things now. It's going to be a pain in the butt to do it. I think that that's a bit. What? Gluten. Like, it's a bit. Well, that's why I want to see for myself. I'm going to see if it's a bit. I'll let you guys know. Plus, I figure out maybe I'll save money that way because I won't go out to eat a lot. I got a wedding to save for now. I still don't know what foods incorporate gluten in them. Like pasta, bread. But the good thing is they make so much stuff gluten-free, but you pretty much have to, like.
You've got to seek it out. More restaurants have it, but you can make it at home, which I think will save money. Sounds like a pain. You get used to it. Does it taste any different? Oh, yeah. A little bit. Some of the stuff that's out there, it's like the sprouted wheat instead of whatever the... Freaking sprouted wheat. Yeah. I'm telling you what, since I've moved to California, I've turned into like 180 degrees. I told you it's taken longer than I thought it would. Really? I thought the first year it would. You'd be totally changed, but slowly you've changed. I'm like, look at this clown. Oh, I didn't think you would change. I thought it would be like, oh, Texas through and through. That's right. I do all my shopping at Sprouts. And I'm looking at beef going, yeah, that's not grain fed. I can't have that. And that's true. I'm like, is this organic? Yeah. I don't know what happened to me, but, you know. Nice beaver. Exactly. It changed for the better, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah, you know, for me, it's not so much about getting fit. I don't care how I look. I'm married. I got a hot wife. I don't need the six-pack and the big pecs and biceps. No, I just want to be healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to play ball until I'm 50 years old. Until you'll make more love, the better that you feel and the more fit you are. Do you think so? Oh, yeah. No, I don't know. I don't think that has anything to do with it. I don't care how I look in a bathing suit. I don't.
But if you feel sexy, you'll want to make sexy. Oh, my God. You guys are creeping me out. Well, so like I said, I'm going to let everybody know that Mikey is out today. You are listening to The Mikey Show. He is out. He had surgery on his gallbladder. He is listening right now, I believe. He just shot us an email. So, Miguel, get well soon. Get well soon. We wish you to get well. Yeah, a lot of support on those breasts because right now is an important time. Bags of peas, I heard. You need them. You got to need them. He had his gallbladder removed. You creep. So he says. I think that's where they just went in and pulled the actual tissue out. Jake's going to want to see like an MRI. Take it from me. He will know. It's going to make him look a lot thinner. His waist will seem... Save that gallbladder still in there. You're a creep. Jay actually has a parody that he wrote, and we won't play it now. We're going to play it later. We're going to play it at 7.30. Oh, we are. It's in honor. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, we're going to play it at 7.30. It's in honor of our friend Mike. Yes. It's a little mean.
I should say that right now. A little mean. And that means it's a lot. If it's mean from your perspective. If Jay thinks it's mean, it's mean. It's got a couple lines in there that are a little. Chase him. A little. Why don't you just love on your friend? I am. It's love. That's how Jay loves. Tough love. It's tough love. Jay is a tough lover. Tough love. Man. Well, hey, listen, nobody's called in. Why don't you call in, say hello, 570-1949. We're here. We're taking your calls. We're going to be doing some best of bits throughout the day. But we will be bringing you some news and sports, some headlines. Got a couple things planned that are pretty cool. And we're just excited to be here. And, again, thanks to Mike for letting us sit in. And, you know, we're not going to be able to fill that guy's shoes. There's no way. Oh, horse chair. Oh, wow. It's a very difficult. It's a very difficult job to do. Oh, man. Yesterday, I was a wreck. I was an absolute wreck at 8 o'clock when he left, and I had to take the last hour. I almost peed my pants. Everyone's making fun of me. I got a good night's sleep. I'm in a much better mood today, and I feel very prepared. So I think we're going to have a fun time. I would like one person to call and say hello. Good morning. Here we go. We got somebody on the line. Are you sure? I don't know. Oh, here we go. It's probably Mikey. Yeah, it probably is. Yeah, anyway.
We got a bunch of stuff to talk about today. LOB, if you didn't hear, is engaged. Yes. I'm looking at that rock right now, and it is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you. Have you found out how much it costs yet? No. Are you going to ask? No, I'm not going to ask. Are you going to look for a receipt? No. If you found the receipt, would you look at it? I probably would, and then I'd probably get mad at him. At him. Yes. Because I'm already looking at it being like, oh, now we know why it took so long for him to propose because he was paying that thing off. Yeah. That thing is gorgeous. Yeah. He did a good job. He did. And I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted. But now that I have it, he picked it out and I'm like, he did. He did great. He did so. And he never asked you like what you had in mind or what you wanted. He went to my grandmother, talked to my grandmother about her ring. Excellent. Let's take a couple calls. That's M1 Arian from Oceanside. Are you there? Hello. Hey, how are you? It's Adrian. Oh, Adrian. Okay. How are you? Good. It's the Woodsy Show. Oh, not really, dude. We're a team effort today. We're all pitching in. I know. We missed Mikey already. Oh, great. Thank you. No, I'm just kidding. Hey, congratulations to LOB. Thank you.
Awesome. I just wanted to say that. Yeah, I'm excited. Thank you for calling and saying it. It even works, so I thought I'd give you guys a call. Thanks for being on so early in the morning. I appreciate it. You bet, man. You bet. It's our pleasure. Anytime. Yeah, I love you guys. Love you, buddy. And M1, Dr. Dodgeball from Scripps Ranch. Mr. Dodgeball. Yeah, his doctor. What up, guys? Love you guys. Glad to hear that you guys are on here tonight this morning. Yeah. LLB, congratulations. Thank you. So excited. Oh, that's so sweet. LB, did I read on Facebook yesterday that you're looking for a barn to get married in? I am looking for a barn, yes. I am. I kind of don't recognize myself anymore. Yesterday I got on The Knot. I don't know what that is. Is that some sexual perverted thing that you're into? You can't say that on the radio. No, it's like a wedding website. It's like everything wedding.
So it's because I might be doing my wedding on the East Coast. Right. So I won't be able to be there and see everything in person and meet every single vendor. So you go on those vendors and stuff like that. And you can tell them where you want to get married and they'll give you a bunch of options. Not really. It's more like you do it yourself. It's not like a wedding planner. It's like it helps you to be a do it yourself wedding planner. Question for you. Is your like if you told your mom and dad, look. I want to get married back east. Are they going to like, are they not help with pay for the wedding? Are they going to help you get everything set up and organized? Probably not that much. Really? Yeah. My mom, they both work full time. Yep. And they're just... Making ends meet. Yeah. It's tough. Yeah, they're super busy. But yeah, I was like, I got on there. I got on that Pinterest thing. I got a question for you. What in the hell is Pinterest? Isn't that what you get when you eat those things? You get Pinterest mouth? Oh, that's... Pine mouth. Oh, it's insane. Yes. Not even close. Not even close. Pinterest is like a, I'm not even actually sure what it is. Everyone keeps telling me to go on there. It's like a bulletin board. It's like a virtual, so it gives you all kinds of like ideas. And I don't know, people find stuff that they think is cool and they, you know, virtually like pin it up on the board. So it's Pinterest. So you can look for things like.
Wedding ideas and, I don't know, like gift ideas, stuff like that. How long did you spend on it? Yesterday I was on, I was looking at barns for hours. I love a barn. You're going to lose your, I know you, and you're going to lose your mind planning this wedding. I already read 30 pages of wedding planning for dummies. Oh my gosh. And I looked up barns in like four different states. You're going to get married in boots in a barn. There's a Western theme. Are you really going to get married in boots? Was that a true story you told yesterday? I really want to. Because I want to get married in the fall. Now, I don't know if any of this is going to happen because it's kind of soon. Right. But I've always wanted to wear boots. And I think it... Would be fun. If you got married here, Ramona has some great barns. Oh, if I got married here, my wedding would probably cost half the amount. Let's lie everybody out. It's much nicer here. Well, it's my wedding. Yeah, it's her wedding. She's going to do it. I can help you with lighting and sound. A lot of people can help me with a lot. A lot of people can help me with a lot, but all of my family is there, and I'm from there, and that's home, and that's where my fiance is from as well. Yeah, you've got to get married, Becky. You have to. I'm still...
debating on here because it would be a lot cheaper and a lot easier, but we're tossing it around. Yeah, and you know, what we did is we got married, family and friends, very close friends at our lake house on a Friday. I rented a bar. for saturday for friends co-workers we had open bar uh i jammed i had i was in a band then so we jammed we had it was a blowout it was so much fun on saturday so you can always come back here and do a dinner or a party or something yeah definitely because some you know some people may not be able to make it yeah i'm not really that concerned with people that can't make it oh wow thank you you should elope No, I'm not going to do that. So expensive. I'm really traditional in the fact that, like, you know, I want my grandmother there, I want my family members there, and that's more important than having a party. Let's talk to M1 Scooby. Yo, guys, what's going on? What's up, my man? Yo, man, you're doing good. Am I? Nerve-wracking, dude. I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man. I hear your nervousness, but, you know. Yeah, I'm nervous. No, he's not. Yeah, I am. He shouldn't be.
I'm nervous. Yeah, this is not an easy gig. You know, LLB's got, everybody's got to step their game up today. Yeah. You know, and it's not an easy thing to do. You know what, though? I don't even think you guys have to step up any kind of game. You just, you know, play your game. Yeah, play our game. Play my game. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. You guys sound like nervous purpose all day. Take your pitch, baby. That's right, man. Take your pitch. Thanks for calling in, brother. Appreciate it. All right. So, Jay, what time do we have to break? In like two minutes. Two minutes. Okay. Well, like I said, we've got a bunch of stuff coming up. We've got, we have Obama, your president. Your president. He's your president, too. He's my president. He is actually, you know what that dude can do? We played a clip not too long ago of him singing Al Green. Guy knocked it out of the park. Yeah, he's pretty good. He is good. So we've got audio of him singing Sweet Home Chicago. He's just jamming at the White House last night with B.B. King. Real good. Kind of bothers me, but I want to hear it. I want to know what it sounds like. What? Want to play it now? No, we'll play it when we come back. Play it when we come back. We've got a bunch of stuff to play. We've got a Name That Tune. Jay wanted to do Name That Tune, Me Against L.O.P., so we're going to do that. It's probably going to be a blowout. Yeah, maybe. What's the theme today, by the way? Oh, that is a good question. Oh, it's Worst Songs. Worst Songs. Worst.
Songs. Worst songs ever. Judged by who? Jay Isbell? No, I just looked up a website. It had the top 100 worst songs. So they're songs from all decades. So it's going to be a little bit of a challenge. Also, the Brit Awards were last night. And those are like the British version of the Grammys. And guess who cleaned house again? Adele. Adele. She cleaned house. But she lost single of the year to a boy band. What's the name of the boy band again? One Direction. We're going to play you the audio of the single that beat out Rolling in the Deep. We're going to play you the audio of the song. It may be one of the worst songs you've ever heard. So we're going to be back. We've got a ton of stuff to do. And yeah, Jay, just put that on number two, and you are good to go, my friend. And it's The Mikey Show, and we will be back in a moment. It's The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Debt is like a cancer. It painfully eats away at your peace of mind and the quality of your life. As your debt spreads and grows, it kills your ability to get a loan. It can kill your chances of getting a mortgage or even a job. But now you can eliminate your debt before it kills you. At the Transforming Debt Into Wealth Center, we've shown over 2 million people some of the most successful debt-eliminating secrets in the world. With a free copy of our debt-free Bible, you'll discover how to eliminate your credit card debts, car payments, student loans, even your mortgage.
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Well, things look pretty good except for a little slowing here as you travel on the 8 eastbound at the 15 north. That's about 39 miles an hour. An earlier accident on the 5 southbound right before H Street. Looks like there were minor injuries there. And some slowing on the 905, the westbound side. Heritage Road to La Media Road. 35 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Mercedes-Benz San Diego. This just in from Mercedes-Benz, the car of your dreams. It can now be the car in your driveway. Drive the C250 sports sedan for a low lease of only $349 a month, but only from your local authorized Mercedes-Benz dealers. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. Hey, we are back. It's the Mikey Show. Welcome, everybody. We're opening again. We came to you at 5.30, but we're back to start the show off. That's right. Heck yeah. It's a Wednesday. Our friend Mikey is out.
He's having his gallbladder removed, but he is on the up and up. Jay's bit is to say different things that Mikey is doing for his surgery. I heard when I was out the one time that Jay was telling everyone I had herpes and gonorrhea and all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases, which is just, it's awesome to hear. Truth hurts. This is true. If you're just... tuning in, and if you're not sure who everybody is on The Mikey Show, my name is Lauren, also known as L.O.B. I am the assistant producer and the resident comedian, although we're all technically comedians, but I stand up on a stage and do shows from time to time. That is true. With a pole. No, not with a pole, Jay. With a microphone and jokes. And I would like to see all of you actually get up at some point. I can't wait. Maybe we make that happen. I want to do it so bad. Yes. It's on my list. And in fact, L.O.B., I was laying in bed this morning. Nude. Going over a stand-up routine. Good. I always do.
Because I've always wanted to do it. We'll have to make that happen. I want to. We'll have a Mikey Show stand-up. Oh, I want to so bad. I am 31 years of age, and I am recently engaged. Oh, yeah. Look at you. Oh, wow. Mikey, who is out, is 41. He's our host. And like I said, he's recovering from having his gallbladder removed. To my right is our sports guy, Woodsy. Woodsy is 36 years of age. He plays on an adult. Baseball Little League. It's not Little League. Because he's fat. I'm not fat. The Bangenburgers Bruins. Bangenburgers Bruins. Look at how fat you are. Bangenburgers Bruins. Yes, and we are in the Premier Baseball League. Doesn't get any better than Premier. Not to be confused with just the... Baseball League. It's a little bit less than Major League. A little bit. We also have our resident creep and also executive producer, Jay. Father of four. He is a father of four. He is 48 years old, been married for 24 years. Feels real good. Yes, is that correct? So next year you'll be married for 25 years. And you are the most perverted person I've ever met. That's what keeps the marriage healthy. And that is a true thing. Jay will sometimes play something he calls police dog with his wife. And I will not fill you in on the details of what that is.
So, we have a great show today. If you are an M1, it means you listen exclusively to The Mikey Show. You turn your friends and your coworkers, your relatives, your family, anyone you know, onto The Mikey Show. Yep, turn them on. You listen 530 to 9 a.m. on 94.9 on your FM dial. And if you call in, you turn your radio down, you get to the point, and you don't cuss. That's right. Am I missing anything? You're solid. You got it. So if you want to call us with anything, we do open phones at the beginning and end of every show, 570-1949. We have a word of the day prize for you. What is the prize, Jay? It is a SeaWorld fun card. It's good for any of 2012. Check out the all-new interactive and immerse in turtle reef exhibit. All right. Word of the day is going to be a little tricky today because if any of us weave it into a sentence. And if you hear it between now and nine, you can call in. The ninth caller will get a prize, which Jay just said. The word of the day is invention. Invention. That didn't count the second time that I just said it. So we have to weave it in. We can be very sneaky. We can always do it during commercials. So be listening. And what is going on in sports, Woods? Well, the biggest story out there.
You know, and my friend Mike Esparza is going to get mad at me because I'm not allowed to talk about anyone that's ever played for the University of Notre Dame before because I'm a big Irish fan. But I'll tell you what, it is the biggest story in sports. Backup quarterback for the Denver Broncos is named Brady Quinn. Brady Quinn was a star at Notre Dame. Well, he came out and he has made some disparaging comments against everybody's favorite quarterback, Tim Tebow. And when I tell you what he said. I'm going to tell you what he said first, and I'm going to give you my take on it. Basically, he said, look, we had a lot of luck last year. In reference to a lot of comeback victories, there was a game that Tebow only threw the ball eight times, and they won. So what he was saying, basically, you can feel that way, but maybe you shouldn't say it because the guy is on your team. This is the one that will get you. Oh, boy. He said, if you look at it as a whole, there's a lot of things that just don't seem very humble to me. When I get that opportunity, I'll continue to lead, not necessarily by trying to get in front of the camera and praying, but praying with my teammates, you know. He felt that the Tebow move of scoring a touchdown, running over, getting in front of the camera, doing the Tebow bit, was a bit contrived. Look, Brady Quinn, here's the deal. What you're saying isn't necessarily wrong. It's the way you feel.
And if that's the way you feel, okay. But you don't say it about your teammate. You can't say it about your teammate, not to the public, not to the press. And will he be on that team again next year? He's a restricted free agent. And they have said that they want to bring in quarterbacks to compete with Tim Tebow. Because basically the deal was Brady Quinn outplayed him last year in preseason. But the fans were... Every game you saw Tebow, Tebow, Tebow. They were clamoring for Tebow to come in and play. And Brady Quinn was like, they even put up a billboard. And Brady Quinn's like, I didn't get any billboards. It would have been nice for them to treat me as the second string quarterback, which is the job that I won. Yeah. But it just didn't work out that way. Everybody wanted Tebow. Tebow came in, led him to the playoffs, got a playoff win. Can't argue with that. Can't argue with that. And Brady Quinn, I can't imagine. He will be on the Broncos next year. And, you know, he has already come out and said, look, this interview was three months ago. It's taken out. He's done the bit. Taken out of context bit. Sounds like he's got some sour grapes. There's no question. I mean, there's absolutely no question. But I think it probably would grate on me, too. Yeah. Really, because he said, hey, this guy's not as humble as everybody thinks he is. Yeah, he's showboating. But I don't disagree with what he said.
but I think he probably should have just kept his mouth shut. He would have stayed out of trouble. Maybe he was testing because he knows that Tebow's a Christian and he has to forgive him. So maybe he was just kind of like chumming the waters a little bit, just saying, let's see how forgiving you are. Brady Quinn's a Christian too. And he's like, hey, I pray, but I pray with my teammates. I don't pray in front of the camera. And that was his big bit, which. Yeah, I mean, I definitely see the merit to it. But like you're saying, you don't throw your teammate under the bus. Not to the press. Like that. Throw it to his face. Yeah, to his face. Or behind his back. Yeah. To your friends. To your wife. To your girlfriend. Yeah. Absolutely. That happens all the time. Oh, man. What a clown. Well, if you're just tuning in, this is The Mikey Show. You do not hear the velvety pipes of our friend, Mike R. Esparza, because he is recovering from having his gallbladder roots. Planner's warts. Yes. I did what I'm already doing. I said yes to what you said. It's like Mikey's still here. Yes, but the rest of us, the rest of the Mikey show is in today. We're bringing you a little bit of a hybrid type of show. We're going to be playing some best of clips, the best of what we've done in the past, as well as bringing you news and sports and current events so we can keep you up to date so you can be armed when you go into work this morning. And speaking of being armed with fun facts. That's right.
What is going on? What is this day in history? It is February 22nd. What are some things that happened in history? Well, in 1879, when Jay was a junior in high school, Frank Woolworth opened the first five and dime store. Oh, Woolworths. Yeah, Woolworths. When I was a kid, there was nothing better in the whole world than going to the dime store. And that's what we called it in Texas. We called it the dime store. There was nothing. Like walking with a fresh $5 bill, walking into the dime store. And then everything that you bought was ruined by the time you got home. Right. Also, 1956, Elvis Presley entered the music charts for the very first time with his hit song, Heartbreak Hotel. That's identical Elvis. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Is that what you're doing? We're going to need to save that clip. Yeah, I will. Absolutely. In 1963, Pebbles Flintstone was born to Fred and Wilma Flintstone. It was the first animated baby born on television. Wow. Also, there's some birthdays today. Jonathan Demme, who was the director of Silence of the Lamb. Oh, hello. He is 68 years old. Dr. J. Julius Irving, L.O.B., is 62 years old also. Golfer BJ Singh is 49.
Geez, I feel old when I hear these things. Drew Barrymore, 37 years old. Little angel. Still a little angel. Always had a crush on her. She's been in the spotlight since she's been like seven years old. She's not that crazy, I don't think. She's been married like four times. Yeah, yeah. She's doing all right. She's doing all right. She's foxy, though. I've always thought she was foxy. Oh, man. Okay, so we have a clip for you. This is something that Woods teased before we went into break in the 5.30 hour. It's kind of... I'm going to try and deliver it unbiased because it kind of annoys me. But it is your president, President Barack Obama. He's at a blues concert in the East Room of the White House. And he's singing, I guess it's a rendition of Sweet Home Alabama. No, no, no, no. This is a song. Oh. Yeah, it's a real song. Oh, well, maybe I listen to the audio before I talk about it. It's called Sweet Home Chicago. Yeah, it's a world famous blues song. The Blues Brothers used to do a big player in Chicago. I went to school there. I've heard it a million times. Now, I thought all he did was change it up and he was doing bits. Okay, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I thought he was throwing out. So it's Sweet Home Chicago and he's up there with Mick Jagger and B.B. King. Wow. Pretty legit. That's pretty legit. That's like. That's B.B. Yeah.
Chicago. Yeah. I mean, I've seen him. I know what he looks like. Oh, man. No. With Lucille, his guitar. Who's Lucille? Lucille is his guitar. What's Lucille? What is Lucille? I'm going to punch you. I think it's like a drug for depression. Yeah. Or is it erectile dysfunction? Yeah, you would know. Lucille. You'd know that one. Oh, man. That is quite a step down from when he sang Let's Stay Together. Yes. Remember that clip we had? Yeah. Well. Maybe he sticks to his day job of being on Mythbusters. And being the president of the United States. Oh, that too. I forgot about that. Also, last night, the Brit Awards, L.O.B. It's the British version of the Grammys. And our portly friend Adele. You can't introduce her to that. She cleaned house again and won a ton of Brits. But this was, they have a clip of her. She got rushed off the stage because Blur. Yeah, the band Blur was about to play. She was still doing her acceptance speech. So then she got mad and gave the metal finger. Oh, boy. And this is audio. Yeah, exactly. This is audio of Adele. Thank you. Thank you. I'll just have the apple pie. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. Nothing makes me proud of you than coming home with six Grammys and then coming to the Brits and winning album of the year. I'm so, so proud to be British and to be flying our flag. And I'm so.
I'm so proud to be in the room with all of you. I'm so sorry. And I can't believe I'm about to cut off. You're going to cut me off. I'm so sorry. Can I just say it? Ladies and gentlemen, it's Blur. Dude, let her finish her speech. No, no, have her get. Jay, she won six Grammys. She won Album of the Year at the Brits. And you're going to cut her off for Blur? Yeah. I just wonder if she got the same time as everybody else. I'm sure she went over or if she got cut off because she shouldn't get extra time just because she's gotten Grammys. She's a she is. I wasn't gonna say she's a beast. And I didn't mean she looks like a beast. I meant she's like she is a killer. So her album won album of the year. It's 20. You know, the name of the album is 21. But she did lose single of the year to a band called One Direction. And the song that they had that one single year. Single of the year is called What Makes You Beautiful. We have a taste of that for you. This beat, Rolling in the Deep. Boy Band. Yeah, Boy Band. You tell me that's better than Rolling in the Deep? I don't know, but they are pretty good looking. I have a thought. Are they jealous? Of? Are they a little bit like, because she's over in the U.S. getting Grammys and she's so popular over here. Are they like...
Oh, go ahead. You mean the Brits? Are they jealous? Yeah, probably. Do you think it was like some sort of slight? Well, listen, Rolling in the Deep, as much as it's overplayed and we've heard it a thousand times, it's still a badass song. It's badass. I mean, it doesn't get any better as far as single of the year. Certainly, it's way better than that garbage. I saw on YouTube, that song has been covered on YouTube 350,000 times. Rolling in the Deep has? I'm not surprised. It's incredible. Wow. It's probably the next most covered song next to Hallelujah. By Jeff Buckley. Yeah. Well, Leonard Cohen. Leonard Cohen, right. And then Jeff Buckley. And then every other. American Idol. Tom, Dick, and Harry. Every other American Idol contestant. Yes. Absolutely. All right. So that was some interesting audio from the Brit Awards. Well, right now we have one of the clips we were talking about. It's a best of clip. We are doing a hybrid show for you today. This is the Mikey Show. Sam's our friend Mikey. He's recovering from gallbladder surgery. It's the three of us bringing you news and sports and current events. But we are going to play a clip. This is what? Some Miley Cyrus and some Jay defending his wiener? Yes. Wiener defending. Miley Cyrus blasted by conservative group for disgusting behavior. What is this?
Have you not heard what she did? No. She had a birthday. It was her birthday party. And somebody got her a cake. Yeah. And this cake, Mike, I think the best way to put this, phallic, very phallic and with all of the fixings. Got it. If you know what I mean. I do. If you catch my dread. I catch all the accoutrements. I catch your dread. Of said phallus. She then proceeded to position herself in such a manner that would make her look like she was doing something. Oh, boy. Not smart. That our wives made in the privacy of our own home. Yeah, so what?
Miley, you can't do that. Miley, you can't do that. Why? I'm all grown up. You can't do that, though. Why? Because you're so funny. And you're Anna Montana. You're not supposed to be. I'm not Anna Montana. You're not my dad. I know I'm not your dad. My dad is way richer than you. I know he is, but that doesn't mean that you're. People know who he is. Listen, Miley Cyrus. You can't just go taking pictures like that. Oh, I can do whatever I want. I know you're grown up. I'm all grown up. You're 19. Have you seen all the pictures of me with see-through shirts on? I have. That's right. I'm making a statement. There's only one guy that's seen that. It's Jay. Did you like it? Not so much. Should I show a boar skin? It's not about that. I'm all grilled up. You're not going to convince anybody. Party at the USA. You may want to use your head a little bit. Excuse me, Mr. Woods. Yes? Yes. Would you not do the same thing in front of that case? Yeah, I would, but I'm not world famous. He's not Hannah Montana either. I'm not Hannah Montana anymore. I'm Miley Cyrus. I know you are, Miley. I'm not world famous. I'm so different with your things. You're not. Not even close. You're not even sponsored by a baseball team anymore. It's a true story, kids. Hey, listen. Miley Cyrus actually got you there. You're not sponsored by a place anymore. I can do what I want.
That's right. Apparently so. She could play on an adult Little League team, too. That's right. Enjoy your wiener cake, then. Oh, I did. I know you did. Plenty of leftovers, too. I bet you want some of that. There you go. It's thin and gray and white. I think it belongs to Jay's. It's got to be Jay's. The cake was actual size. No, it was not. Well, then it would look like this highlighter pen. Yeah, that's not even enough to fit. That's too thick, Mike. Too thick. How about this? This is a ballpoint pen. That's too long. At least mine is usable, guys. I want more than just a mouthful. Have you ever seen a really cooked turkey dog? If you left it on the grill for too long. Overcooked turkey dog. That is absolutely disgusting. Well, that's Jay. That's so satisfying. Unfortunately, that's Jay, Miley. That's our friend Jay. That's an older guy named Jay. Tasteless. Imagine that tasteless thing. in a nest of cotton. If the cotton was gray cotton, it was unprocessed gray cotton. Imagine if they didn't process gray cotton.
And a lot of it. A lot of it. I promise it would be good again if you stop talking about that. A lot of it. Just that. Like, imagine Serbian. Imagine a Serbian cotton field with unpolished cotton in it. Oh, my God. With an overcooked turkey duck. Half of an overcooked turkey duck. An unusable hot dog. That sounds absolutely disgusting. Get your wives on the phone. That is absolutely disgusting. It's the grossest thing. It's in a Serbian cotton field. I don't think I might remain a virgin if that were the case. It's your birth control. They should show Jay's wiener as birth control. That's a great idea. Trust me, it didn't work. Yours would, though. Oh, gosh. We can make fun of Jay with just about anything. But when Woods tells the wiener story, he's like, hey, don't do it. You can talk about whatever you want. Don't say my wiener is long and skinny. Husky pencil.
Don't! He gets so bad. At least mine plumps when you cook it. That's his standard bit. Plumps when you cook it. He has a standard line. Off the air, on the air, doesn't matter. It's the ballpark Frank motto. And I've seen mine in the last two years. Plumps when you cook it, man! When was the last time I actually saw yours? I'm not talking about it in the mirror. Say whatever you want! That thing plumps when you cook it! Oh, wow. Like, okay, Jay, okay. All right. Fine, it plumps. It plumps. It plumps. Okay, fine, dude. Speaking of plump. Yes, man. Last time I saw you, it was plump. Professor Plump. Professor Plump. If you don't put out there. No, I'm not kidding. If you don't. Hey, Mac, if you need to put out on the radio next time that that sucker plumps when he cooks. And if he don't. If he doesn't, Mike, I'm serious. That's it. Look, it's over. He can say anything he wants about the lint, the thinness of it, the hair, whatever. I don't care. But he better say. Oh, my gosh. If he doesn't say that it plumps when he cooks.
Quit it. I'm done. He's on the last straw. You can't get me to quit. It has to be that way. It has to be said that way. Either he's going to say it plums when he cooks it, or I will say it. I get to say it. But it needs to get out there. I prefer that he says it, though. I prefer it. Because it don't have to say, wait, if I say it. If I need to have... Hey, you would say it. I'm not saying it, Jay. No, you... I'm not saying it. You ain't... L-O-B is... It doesn't... Somebody needs to say it plumps. I don't know if it plumps. Our dang general manager can say it for all I care. Somebody's going to say it. Somebody's going to say it. Next year, you'll hear, as a contractual difference between Lincoln Financial Media and J.R. Isbell, the following statement is being read. Jay's wiener plumps when you cook it. It'll be an intro. Yes. Like, we're under contractual agreement. I'm like, hey. I got to play the legal, guys. Yeah. Before I go into my testimony. It's all about the plumping. I got to let you guys know that Jay's wiener plumps when you cook it. When you cook it. Say it right. Stop saying it like a joke. Quit reading it.
Saying it like you're reading it. Freaking sell it, Wood. Sell it, man. It plumps when you cook it. Don't just read it. I can read it. Follow me. It plumps when you cook it. When you cook it. Is that fine? Is that good? No. Plumps when you cook it. It plumps when you cook it. I said that. Drag out the plump. Drag out the plump. Okay, it plumps when you cook it. There you go. Close to you. You're just plump. No, man. It plumps. It plumps. God. Oh. Every time we tell that story. He has to. It is a guaranteed. Oh, wow. That's one of my favorite moments that we've ever had. Who knew you could say it plumps when you cook it for four minutes? Yeah, seriously. Oh, my goodness. That makes me laugh.
So hard. Anytime we talk about Jay's Wiener, he will throw in plumps when you cook it. Yeah. Plumps when you cook it. Yes. It's deceiving. So, Jay, I have a legitimate question for you. Do you? Yes. Does it plump when it cooks? Sometimes you don't have to cook it. It's still plump. Does that even mean? Oh, my gosh. Well, we are having a good time. This is the rest of the Mikey Show. Mikey is out having his, well, he had his gallbladder removed, but he's on the mend. And we still have a great show coming up for you today. Up next, we're going to play a little bit of Name That Tune. It's one-on-one. Yes, it's going to be me, L-O-B versus Woodsy. And you've got to call in. We need people to call in and pick a horse. Pick me or Wood. That's right. I always have to look my sexier. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Get part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about.
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at Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. At Exxon & Mobile, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. It's one more way they keep gasoline work harder for you. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, our neighborhood Toyota dealers, the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory-trained techs who use quality, genuine Toyota parts. Well, the freeways look pretty good this morning. Not a whole lot of activity going on just yet. A little bit of slowing here on the 54 westbound at the 94. Looks like 40 miles an hour. Also heading over towards Chula Vista on the 5 southbound before H Street. Earlier accident there. There were some minor injuries. This report brought to you also by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent, they'll help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like.
Gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I have like a self-conscious 16-year-old sophomore that's real chubby. Lauren. I'm starting to feel guilty about it, though, because I'm wondering if I've disrupted the ecosystem at the lake. And Jay. Just because I like to be outdoors, you guys like to make fun of me. On FM 94.9. Hey, good morning. It's the Mikey Show. We are without our diminutive Latino. He is out today. He got his gallbladder taken out yesterday. Tummy tuck. Tummy tuck. And he was sending us messages and funny. He was doing funny bits. Funny pictures. Funny pictures of him nude in a hospital bed. Which is always a good sign. It always means that he's going to be okay. It means he's feeling good.
You're here. It's your boy, Woodsy, your old pal, Woodsy, here. I got my old pal, LLB, next to me and my really old pal, Jay, sitting across from me. Yeah, just hit next and then pause. You got it. There you go. No, yeah, got it. He's... He's messing with the system over there. He's jacking stuff up. The word of the day today is invention. I will weave it into a sentence soon. I want to get out of the way. So we'll knock that out. Be listening between now and 9 o'clock. We are going to play Name That Tune for the first time. It's going to be a one-on-one, head-to-head battle. Me against LOB. So we got some callers on the line that have picked their players. Jay, you want to take those calls? M1 Wally, are you there? M1 Wally? Yes. Who would you like to represent you? I would be. Okay, that is me. I will be representing you well. And M1 Meter Reader, you'll get LOB. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, good. You got LOB. Jay, what is the theme today? Today's theme is Worst Songs. Worst Songs. All right, put Meter Reader on hold. There you go. Give me what to do. Okay, you got a lot going on over there. You guys got a lot of irons in the fire. Yeah.
Let's see here. All right, so we got to get our buzzers. We got our buzzers. Jay's going to hit the theme song. Maybe I am. Maybe I am. It's not something I was really prepared for. But I would like to... You guys talk among yourselves for just a moment here. How are you feeling this morning, Woods? Are you feeling like you are going to take me out straight, or is it going to be a close call, or do you think I could possibly win? Worst songs, I think. I think it could be anybody's ballgame, to be honest with you. I don't know what genre. I don't know what it is. You never know what he's got up his sleeve, but this is the name of that tune thing. Now I'm going to sit today. All right, it's name that tune. It's a very easy game to play. Jay's going to play a clip. We're going to hit our buzzer. And try to weigh in and see if we get the right answer. With title or artist. Title or artist. Today's prize is the first season of The Walking Dead. Oh, nice. Everybody loves that show. No, it's a great show. It's a scary show on TV. Back with new episodes now on AMC. All right, let's do this. I'm ready. Jay's killing me. I'm trying to figure out where everything's going. All right, let's reset. You need to reset. Reset us. Here we go. Name that tune. Okay. You guys are all set? Here we go. All right.
Hold the phone here. We're off to a good start. Hold on one second. Oh, my. Oh, God, Jay. He iced us. Oh, Jay. He makes me so nervous. One of the odds is going to start playing in the middle of the clip when he comes back. All right, here he comes. All right, let's try it again. Here we go. Name that too. He's not playing. It won't play? Is it on the wall or is it on the computer? It's on the button bar. Okay. I'm looking at the buttons. They're all lit. Got them up. I may go to my other computer real quick. All right. Sounding good. This is sounding good. It's feeling so good. It feels great. Everything is good. Jay has some technical difficulties. He's running around like a lunatic. He's going from one computer to the next. Well, he insisted that he sit in Mike's chair today. I didn't insist. He insisted. Yeah. Over and over. Yes, and he's messed with the height of everything. Oh, yeah. Mike is going to have a hard time when he gets back because it's clearly set for a much.
Taller man. Clearly. I'm logging in. All right. All right. We're going to do this. We're going to get this done. All right. Okay. Is this like a plan to get me all out of it? Absolutely not. I'm just as out of it as you are. Trust me. As soon as I figured this out, you guys are going to be the first to know. Oh, my God. Here we go. Okay. Here we go. I am all set as far as you know. Here we go. All right. Here we go. Damn it. Damn it. L.O.B. The Beach Boys. Son of them. Reset, dude. I think my buzzer's broken. That is one of the worst songs ever. Yeah, I love it though. All right. Okay. Reset. Here we go. Next song. It's Easy Lover. I don't know if it's Phil Collins or Genesis, but it's Easy Lover. You got it. All right.
Just take it easy. Just one or the other. Easy, lover. Casey Kasem. He actually sang it with somebody else. Relax. Wow, that's pretty good. Reset. I will reset. Here we go. One to one. All right, one to one. Let's do this. L-O-B. Ace of bass. Get. I stopped. Sorry. Reset. Okay. Two to one, L-O-B. Here we go. Gosh. Wood, that's Tony, Basil, Mickey. Is it? Yes. Oh, good thing I didn't get. I didn't know. I thought it was Come On Field. Nothing wrong with that song, L.O.B. Yeah. Here we go. Reset, dude. Reset, Jay. Come on. All right. Here we go. Two to two. Here we go. Oh, no. L.O.B. Ghostbusters. Damn it. That's a great song. That song sucks. Oh, come on. Ray Parker Jr. He faced on that. That's amazing. Here we go. I have no idea. Mambo No. 5. Wow. Damn it.
L.O.B. She's running away with it. Go figure. Get my ass kicked. Yeah. Blue Vega Jr. Oh, yes. There you go. All right. It's four to two. I'm over here, everybody. Here we go. L.O.B. Right side, Fred. I'm getting killed. You're getting destroyed. Five to two. L.O.B. Yes. Reset. I'm too sexy. I swear. True. I did a dance to that third grade. I believe it. Here we go. That's me. Extreme. More than words. Feast on it. bad song? It is a horrible song. No, that song is genius. How dare they? Here we go. I don't. Gosh darn it! That is Smashbox. Smashmouth. Oh, there you go. You can't give that to her? Smashbox! You can't give her Smashbox! She fixed it though before I even had a chance to respond. You just say stuff? Smashcat. Smashbox. Smashbutt. Smashbox.
Come on. Hey, you got to buzz in before the buzzing thing goes off. Gosh darn it. All right. Here we go. That'll be. Macarena. Oh, my God. I'm getting smoked right now. You have horrible taste in music. Seriously. This reminds me of being at the swim club and the DJ played the bad music. How many more? Swim club? Yeah, you know that old bit. How many more, Jay? There's two more and I need to find out what the score is. The score is Lauren's seven, Woods three. Wow. So these are going to be... This next one is a three-pointer. All right. There we go. You're doing bits over there. I don't know what that is. She loses three points. She loses three points. Now, let's see if we can do a six-point swing. Keep going. You lose his three points. You lose his. Here we go. Go. I'm going to take a second to let it sink in. Yeah. That was... I have no freaking idea. Damn it.
All right, Jay, stop it. I have no idea. Cyndi Lauper. Damn it. She-bop. She-bop. Okay. All right, what's the score? The score is now four, Lauren Woods three. I'm only up by one now because I just did a bit. Yep. So this is a two-pointer. Okay. Oh, God. Here we go. All right. Oh, wow. That's not the song I loaded, so here we go. All right. You were my son. L-O-B. It was green. Cry Me a River, J-T. Yep. There you go. You're a big winner. That's a damn winner. Pum-pum. Two-pointer. Well, LLB wins. Okay. Go to M1 Meter Reader, Jay. M1 Meter Reader, are you there? Yeah. LLB took it home for you. She smoked me in that round. There you go. That's hot. So loud and hot. So loud and hot. That's the loudest on the back of the river. He is running back and forth like a lunatic. Hey, Wood.
I'm going to sit here because I can run everything from this chair. I don't even ever have to get up. That's what I heard all day yesterday. Gosh darn, I always got to mix stuff up, Jay. All right, M1 meter reader one. Yes. LLB absolutely killed me. Yes, feast on it. In that round. We've got a best up bit coming up in a second for you. It's that cool story that Mikey told about that thing that they found in the Baltic Sea. Oh, yeah. I want to find an update to the story, and I'll do that while we're playing it. Okay. But it was a very, very cool story. But real quick, what was that? Meteorator's still in line. Oh, okay. You won, Meteorator. Hang on the line. Also, so this is a crazy story that we wanted to talk about today. There is a kid in North Carolina that got suspended from school for 55 days. What could he have done to get suspended for 55 days? He brought a bag of oregano. Oh, come on. I've done that. He pretended it was marijuana. Yeah. Been there. Done that. You brought oregano to school. Yes. And we had our friends smoke it and he pretended to be hot. I smoked oregano. Yeah. When I was a kid. Why? Come on. 55 days. To do a bit. But this kid, 55 days. Yeah, that's not fair. He's a kid. He's in middle school. How old is this dude? He's like 11 or 12 years old. The exact age we were when we did it. Yeah. Huh.
Since when can kids not be kids anymore? If you disagree with me or L.O.B. or J., who are all on the same page on this, give us a call, 570-1949. Yes, drugs are not funny. Drugs are not cool. There should be some punishment, but 55 days. But you could smell it and immediately know. Well, not when you're 11 or 12, unless they're you. But look, the kid's doing a joke, and yeah, he's making light. So if I bring flour in a baggie and say it's cocaine, I'm going to get... You should have something. A detention. Yeah, I get a detention. Lunch bitch. What the hell's a lunch bench? You have to sit down during lunch. You don't get to go out and do what everybody else does. You have to sit at the bench. It's called a lunch bench. Is that how they did it back then? No, that's why they do it now. Oh, they do lunch bench. Yes, lunch bench. Lunch bench. I've never heard of lunch bench before. Lunch bench that kid. 55 days is harsh. That is harsh. So it's in, where did I say it was? It's in North Carolina. And the school, they're not. Probably it'll set him back a year. Well, the school's not backing down. And now he has legal groups like fighting the school. All the kid did was bring a little oregano to school. Yeah, it's not illegal. Pretended it was pot. The kid's doing a bit. They sell it? Future comedian. No, he gave it to his buddy. They had an assembly. And the assembly was the dangers of marijuana. So the next day.
Mr. Funny Guy brings in some oregano, and the rest is history. 55-day suspension. So we are now going to get into the best of bit. It is Mikey's story about the Baltic Sea. Feast on this. Chillier after we had that warm spell here. Imagine cold that is so cold that the actual ocean freezes solid. You know, the Baltic Ocean gets very, very cold up by Sweden and Norway. Have you ever seen those underwater deals like in the beginning of Titanic? Those things that they look like mini submarines and they go down and they got big searchlights on them. Well, this guy, he's one of these treasure hunters. He actually went down, found a shipwreck and brought up tons and tons of bottles of priceless champagne. And up until this point, he had only.
That was probably the biggest thing that he found. Let me recap you. We had been out for nine days. And, well, we were quite tired and we were on our way home. But we, well, made the final run with the sonar fish. And suddenly this thing turned up. And, well, my first reaction was to tell the guys that, hey, we have a UFO here on the bottom. I saw the sonar. The sonar is shaped. Picture the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars. Picture that. Sonar readings show it's about 60 meters across, all the size of a jumbo jet, and it's not on its own down there. The Ocean Explorer team also found another smaller disc-shaped object nearby. Both show a rigid tail or drag marks more than 400 meters long.
Their size and distinctive shape are generating some peculiar theories. A plug to an inner world, or a marine version of Stonehenge. 400 meters, by the way, are the drag marks. That's 1,312 feet. That's how far the drag marks go. 437 yards. So, for anybody that was thinking, well, it's probably just an old ship. An old ship that's the size of a... Of a jumbo jet. An old ship that dragged for 1,312 feet under the water. Or roughly four and a half football fields. And then came to rest this jumbo jet sized thing. That's shaped like the millennial looking. In the Baltic freaking ocean. And it's out there right now. They haven't.
started the process of digging it up, but they're going to. Come on. Dig it, dig, dig. What a score. What is it? What is it? What is it? What a score that is. That's a score. No matter what it is, it's different. It's weird. I want to know. And no one knows what it is. Did you say how deep it was down? They didn't say, well, what they did say, because I read the story as well, and what they have said is that it is extraordinarily deep. Well, because they go down there with these, what do you call it? They go down with the... Unmanned sub? Yep. Exactly. It's got little hands and stuff you can control. It's cool. They were cutting the holes through ice to get in there? Is that what they were doing? They cut holes through the ice, and they went down, and they started taking a look just to hopefully find some treasure. They were sweeping also with radar, and all of a sudden, they started to hit something. And so they got...
an entire shape, and they took a photograph of the sonar. And it looks like the Millennium Falcon, only it's the size of a jumbo jet. And they were also able to see the drag marks that it made when it made its final descent or when it came to rest. If you can understand what I'm saying, it dragged itself along the bottom of the ocean as if it landed. Yeah. Into the ocean. Into the ocean. Great speed. Holy crap. At great speed. And way deep. Way deep. Way deep. Way deep. So it would have to go down? Well, you're going to guess that it, yeah, it hit the water and it dragged when it hit the bottom. But hey, listen, it could be a pirate ship or something like that. No, it couldn't. A submarine? Well, it couldn't be a submarine because it isn't shaped like a submarine. And it's also, if a submarine had gone down, it wouldn't drag itself 1,312 feet. Weird. I'm officially creeped out. And be shaped the size of a jumbo jet. It's shaped like a disc almost. It's shaped like a disc. With a little cutout. You don't know what the Millennium Falcon looks like. But the length across is the size of a jumbo jet.
Well, yes, absolutely the size of a jumbo jet. And whatever it was, hit the bottom of the ocean and then skid for four football fields. And then finally came to rest at the bottom of the Baltic Ocean. Do you think they'll be able to pull it up? Yeah, I do. I think they're going to start. This is news today. So I think they're going to start the process of, what is this thing? Would that not be the coolest freaking experience to be on that boat? It's scary, too. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. You wouldn't want to be on there? Hell no. Oh, my God. I would love it. What if there's aliens inside? Well, then you've seen something that not a lot of people have seen. But what if they're living? No. And they want to be left alone. I don't. You just blew my mind. I don't want any single. What if they want to be left alone? Yeah, I don't want any part of it. I wouldn't want. Hey, I'll watch the news reports. Yeah. I'll watch the news reports. I want to be on there. I want to be putting my head. You'd be in the sub. Not in the sub.
But I want to be on the boat at the top looking over the thing when they're pulling stuff up out of it. Let's say you're on the boat on the top and all of a sudden you see a big bubble. Then a bigger bubble like the size of a big boat. And then a bubble comes up the size of a cruise liner. And then something just starts rising out of the air. I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. steel thing. Or what if the crew never resurfaced? Oh, my God. And you're there by yourself. Guys, I'll be up here. You're by yourself. There is nothing creepier than deep, dark, cold murky water, except for deep, dark, cold, murky water with something the size of a jumbo jet. laying at the bottom of the ocean and no one knows what it is and it's shaped like the Millennium Falcon and it came to rest and skid for 1,312 feet. I have to know. I have to know. I gotta be there. We're gonna. We're gonna know. I'm going to the Baltic Ocean this weekend. Yeah, tell us. I will. You're gonna be there anyway. I'll get some audio. You're gonna be there anyway. Yeah, I was gonna go anyway. That'd be awesome. And cruise to the Baltic Sea. Yes. Oh my gosh.
I love that story. It's so fascinating. And I did get an update. They are going to return to the Baltic Sea to salvage the mystery object May of 2012. That is this year. Apparently, it's a very expensive and time-consuming process. So you're listening to The Mikey Show. Without Mikey, he got his gallbladder taken out yesterday. And his chin removed. No, just his gallbladder. His second chin is what he calls it. He got his gallbladder taken out. So you've got me. You've got L.O.B. You've got Jay with you. And we're doing a hybrid show. We're playing some best of them. We're having some fun. We just played a one-on-one name that tune, which was really lame. I spanked you. Because I lost. And you beat me. And you won the game. Do we have to break right now? Yes, sir. Okay, when we come back, I'm going to tell you. You guys know the Scream. painting that Edward Munch did. It's about to be auctioned off. Yeah, and it's a world-famous painting. It's about to be auctioned off. You will never believe for how much they're projecting this thing to go for. It's the Mikey Show. It's Wednesday. We will be back in a second. Today, my journey to help save people money on car insurance.
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Wouldn't that be amazing to hold U.S. history? Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-919-5766. 1-800-919-5766. Business as usual, we think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service the way it ought to be. Our personal service will impress you. Our products will inspire you. Like a full line of mortgage and home equity packages with low rates and closing costs. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. My boss banks at Mission Fed. A sound, stable, satisfying banking experience. Mission Federal Credit Union. Not your same old banking. Open a new account today. Call 800-500-6328. Or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. We all bank!
San Diego Banks at Mission Fed. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration and is an equal housing lender. Hi, this is Ella B, and I want to talk to you again about Ovation Cell Therapy. I have been using it for over a year now, and I am absolutely in love with the product. My hair looks better than it's ever looked. It's thicker, stronger, longer, and I get so many compliments on how it looks. And one of my favorite things about using Ovation is getting other people turned on to it as well. I have given the gift of beautiful hair to my mom, to my sister. A ton of listeners have reached out to me. And Woodsy, who do you now have using Ovation Cell Therapy? First, thank you for turning my wife, Jamie, on to Ovation, who in turn turned me on to it. Now I have given the Men's Max Pack to our friend and our producer, Jay Isbell. He will soon enough have thicker, stronger, and longer hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. And don't just take our word for it. It is 100% guaranteed or your money back. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and remember to select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. This is Toyota Today.
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This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Heading over on the 5 southbound at the 163 North, we've got a stalled vehicle. They have not removed that from lanes yet. Also, the 5 southbound before H Street, an earlier accident, minor injuries, and some delay on the 905 westbound. Corporate center drive to the 125 North, 30 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Wawanese Insurance with roadside assistance. They're one call away, always 1-800-640-2920. I'm Stacey Cohen. on San Diego's FM 94.9. Hey, it's The Mikey Show, and we're back. My dear LOB, what is going on in the news? Well, tonight is one of the final four Republican presidential GOP debates. You're going to have Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Ron Paul that are all going to take part in this debate. It's right outside Phoenix. It will be nationally televised on CNN tonight, so keep an eye out for that. Also, bad news for you San Diegans.
The San Diego County gasoline prices have reached the highest amount since May 23rd at a staggering $4.09 a gallon on average. It has risen for 27 consecutive days. And in those 27 consecutive days, it has risen 33 cents. So look for cheap gas and carpool if you can. What's carpool? Carpool. Carpool? Carpool. What did I say? You said carpool. Carpool. I love it. Carpool. Oh, look at Jay. Say it with me. Carpool. Carpool. I say carpool. You just got Jay'd. You just got grammar lessons from Jay Isbell. I don't believe it. And I have one more news story for you. I'm going to keep that up, Jay. Paris Hilton turned 31 on Friday, and she spent the weekend in Vegas where she won $30,000 at a blackjack table, which is... $6,030,000 more than she needs.
Dude. The rich get richer. And the poor are getting poorer. It's not fair. The thing with blackjack, you have to have money to win money. So that's probably how she did it. A couple sports stories for you. The NFL Combine starts today in Indianapolis. It would basically be like L.O.B.'s paradise. Just a bunch of young, virile African-American men running sprints, catching footballs, throwing footballs. White guys in there, too. Because L.O.B. has, I guess, a thing. I do. For the black man. Excuse me while I whip this hat. In terms of admiring. I have a greater admiration. That makes my mouth water. And you have a fiance now, so I guess that's off the table. Who is not dark-skinned. That is true. But football is not over. There are hundreds of NFL prospects. They are in Indianapolis to work out for scouts. The scouting combine does start today. It runs through February 28th at Lucas Oil Stadium. Also, Tiger Woods is very confident heading into today's start of the WGC Accenture Match Play Championship. Match play golf is really, really cool. It's like one-on-one matches.
a tournament. So there's 32 first-round matches today, followed by 16 second-round matches Thursday, eight third-round matches Friday, quarterfinals Saturday, semifinals on Sunday morning. It's a very, very cool thing. So he got seated to play this guy named Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano. And this guy, Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano, said Tiger Woods is beatable. Here's Tiger's response to that. That's cut one. I feel exactly the same way as he does. I feel he's beatable, too. I don't think I've ever met him, but I've seen him a few times over the years in Europe. There's an old saying that you don't poke the tiger, and you really don't want to poke that tiger. Yeah, that's true. Tiger did a lot of poking, but, dude, you don't want to wake that guy up. You don't want to give that guy any more motivation. This is him talking about getting off to a good start in this tournament. It is a sprint. It is a boat race. I thought it was a golf tournament. You have to get off to a quick start. Generally, if you get down early, two, three down, you rarely come back. It's hard to make up the ground when you're only playing 18 holes. Yes, and you are listening to The Mikey Show today. Our friend Mikey is out. He had gallbladder surgery yesterday. We are filling in and kind of hanging out. We're doing a hybrid show, which is the first time we've ever done anything like this. I'm having a good time. It's nerve-wracking as all get-up. It is.
We were talking about, I'll pull the curtain back off the air. We were talking about, you know, Mike sits in that chair and he drives. He's the conductor. And then everybody kind of has to slide up a spot. And it's hard to be Woods. It's hard to be me if I'm trying to be Mike. L.O.B. was, she did the opening break. She couldn't be L.O.B. when she was doing the opening break. I was like, forget it, Woods. You get it. He's got huge pants to fill. I mean, just. Figuratively. Yeah. I mean, overall. Shoes. They're big shoes. You know, his feet are kind of petite. Yeah, they're small shoes. Yeah, it's amazing. He weebles. Small shoes. Big shoes figuratively. And then, you know, Jay has to slide up and take, you know, he has to do... you know, comic relief and stuff like that. Plus, he used to be in the room with us when he says his perverted things, which makes things really crazy. It's very, very strange. But thanks to Mike for letting us do this. We're having fun. And hopefully you guys are too. Call, make fun of us. Call, say hello. 570-1949. If you are an M1, you're a Mikey Show listener. You listen exclusively. You love...
The Mikey Show, you tell your friends, your family. When you call in, you turn your radio down. You get to the point. You don't curse. Cuss. Mikey says cuss. I always say curse. And the word of the day is invention. I have not said it yet. I will be saying it before 9 a.m. I told you before the break that the masterpiece, it's known as The Scream, Edward Munch. I think it's Munch. Maybe it's Munch. I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to be too fancy. It's going to be sold at auction in New York. They are saying that the price tag for this painting, The Scream, will be around $80 million. Oh, my gosh. For a painting. It's currently owned by Norwegian businessman Peter Olsen. His father, Thomas, was a friend and patron of Edward Munch. Where do you put that? Yeah. I don't know. Where do you put it in, like, imagine the people that are moving it. Like, a little to the left, a little to the right. It is one of the raddest paintings around. It looks cool, but it's really creepy. You don't want that in your room unless you're a sex pervert. Right. I remember, if you guys, did you watch the sitcom Roseanne? Yes. Do you remember Darlene and Becky had it in their room? No, I did not know that. They had a print of it. And I would always be like, what is that weird thing? Yeah, it's very, very creepy. But $80 million for that thing.
Maybe share the wealth. Maybe fund my wedding. I was going to put in a bid on it, but I changed my mind. What are we doing next? Oh, we have in studio with us a very special guest from the Jersey Shore, one JWoww. How are you guys doing? JWoww, how are you? I'm doing good, thank you. Now, you came out recently with a list. It was very strange because I see a lot of lists and celebrities always talking about... who, if they had a pass, a hall pass, who they would want to get. Yeah, you know, I just, it was President's Day, like, I don't know, was it? Monday. Monday, yeah. So I was just thinking, like, what presidents I would like to, can I say the F word on the air? No, you cannot say the F word on the air. Say make sex to. Oh. Yeah. Make sex? Can I say smush? You can say smush. Smush, okay. Which presents I'd like to smush? This is a list of presents that you want to smush. I would like to smush, yes. Okay, and I want you to elaborate after you tell me. Who's number eight? Well, I'm not going to do it in any particular order, but I can just go? Yeah, just go. Do you have like a drum roll or something for me? That's a doorbell. Oh, is that a drum roll? I didn't even hear it. Do you have a drum roll now?
I don't know why it's not working. All right, forget it. I'll just go. All right. Ready? That's a helicopter. Ah, there we go. Okay. Ulysses S. Grant. That's very anticlimactic. Let's not do that anymore. Ulysses S. Grant, because I heard he was an alcoholic, and it sounds like he used to party, you know? He kind of looks like that actor Kevin Kline. You're kidding me right now. Yeah. No, I'm not kidding you. You would make love to Ulysses S. Grant. I would, and then he's USS. USS, USS. That makes no sense. I don't get it. That's not him. All right. All right. Number seven. Am I going in order? You do whatever you want. It's your show. Abraham Lincoln. That's a popular choice. Did you guys know that that dude was on the $5 bill? Yes. He wasn't always so hairy, you know? Plus, I could definitely wax him. He's tall? Yes.
And I bet ladies loved him back in the day. He was tall. He had a beard. I actually heard that men liked Abraham Lincoln. That's a true story. I heard that about him. That's disgusting. That's what I heard. He liked the men back? That's what I heard. It's an old rumor, but you never know. Wow. And if you saw Mary Todd Lincoln, you would know why. I would definitely, I would give him a go. Okay. Number six is Bill Clinton. It's obvious. Do I even have to say it? No, everybody wants a taste of Bill Clinton. All right, all right. Number five. What was that? I say he likes a good cigar, I hear. Why is it? I've listened to your guest show a couple times. Every time Bill Clinton comes up, you kind of say that same thing, Jay. He's kind of a freak with a cigar. You like to make that, and I know it makes your host uncomfortable, and he's got to be listening from home, right? Mikey, I'm sorry, Mikey. All right, number five, George Washington. That's disgusting. Because he's on the coin that you do your laundry with. You got to go to the gym. You got to go tanning. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym. You got to go to the gym.
Ronald Reagan, number three, because he's a movie star turned P-I-L-L. PILF. That's a president I'd like to make love to. That is right. I can't say the F word on the internet. No, you cannot, and we are sure about that. Okay. He seemed a little stiff for you. Number two. You guys should have, like, some crickets or something. Yeah, we should have some crickets ready. You should totally have something like that. I knew they were. Number two, Barack Obama. Yes, we can. Yes, you can, sir. Yes, you can, sir. Yeah, we get it. We get it. You're disgusting. And the number one present, drumroll, please. Drumroll, please. That I would like to smush. John F. Kennedy Jr. Absolutely. Is he a junior or is he just a JFK? He's just a JFK. Just a JFK. Yeah. He was a big ladies' man. Yes.
And he liked the ladies with the curves, which I am, obviously. That is true. Have you seen my boobs, Woods? I have not seen them. You have not seen them. You're the only one. They are basically against my chin. I don't know how you can't see them. I would like to. I don't watch your show very much. Well, I mean, I'm standing here right in front of you, obviously. That is true. That is true. They're basically touching my chin and my armpits. Very uncomfortable. And my ribs at the same time. Jay made me very uncomfortable with his splinters remark. That makes all of us. I'm sure our host is very uncomfortable. Oh, this story was absolutely crazy. And of course, I'm an identical Mikey right now looking for my story. Chris Brown, my old pal Chris Brown. I am not a fan of Chris Brown. I've said it over and over. I will never be a fan of Chris Brown. What's a found? You're not a found? I'm going to make a moratorium right now. And I'm going to do it on the air so you guys have to stick to it. Can't correct each other today. Unless it's Jay. Yeah. While we're reading news stories because it's nerve-wracking enough. Well, I've never heard of this guy that Chris Brown is in a Twitter war with, but he's a WWE champion. His name is CM Punk. And I guess Mr. Punk went to his Twitter and he tweeted, quote, I would like at Chris Brown to, this doesn't make sense. I would like at Chris Brown to fight somebody that can defend themselves. Me curb stomping that turd would be a WrestleMania moment.
So Chris replies, very classy, very mature. At CM Punk needs more followers. He's such a leader, not to mention the roids he's on has made it utterly impossible for him to pleasure a woman. Identical J. Then he added, quote, positivity regardless of how you feel at CM Punk. Contact my assistant and I'll have him send you an autographed pic for my biggest fan. Oh, God. Well, we have some audio of CM Punk talking about Chris Brown. I never intended to include Chris Brown's name in one of my tweets to start some sort of a controversy or to gain publicity or anything like that. And now that he's thrown accusations my way about using steroids, I feel the need to reply. So please allow me to retort. I'm a lifelong, proud, drug-free, straight-edge individual. So Chris and I come from two completely different worlds. I don't have a manager. I don't have a bodyguard. I don't need a bodyguard. I don't have an assistant. I have no need for a PR team to tell me what to tweet or when to tweet tweets. And I don't hate women. See, period. You don't hate women. In my world, women are to be revered and respected. And I firmly believe that in this life there are consequences and repercussions for people's actions. And I don't think Chris has paid for what he's done. Picking up trash on the side of a highway does not make amends for repeatedly striking a woman to a face and sending her to a hospital. So Chris...
wants to throw stones my way now and i say that's fine but put some gloves on and get the ring and i will i will choke you out and i will make you feel as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who's had a misfortune of knowing a sad cowardly little boy such as yourself and all proceeds can go to a women's shelter of my choosing if you want to pick up more trash on the side of the highway to make some amends you should donate some more time maybe tell kids exactly what you did Isn't right. But I'm also a realist. And I know that none of these things will happen because Chris Brown isn't a man. And that's fine. I just know that someday, somewhere, somehow, somebody will put Chris Brown exactly where he belongs. And it honestly doesn't have to be me. I would just really like it to be. Wow. Ooh, identical words. That is some of the most hardcore audio that I have ever heard. And you know what? CM Punk.
I'm your biggest fan. I agree with you 100%. I feel like Rihanna should listen to that. There is no place. There is no place for, I mean, we all saw the pictures. We don't need to rehash what happened. We all know what went down. But it was an absolutely horrendous thing that happened. And CM Punk and Chris Brown, I think Chris Brown would be wise to avoid this guy. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Do we have another Best Stuff? Yeah, we do. It's L.O.B. playing a little bocce. And it's Mikey's obese list. Oh, wow. I don't know what that is, but okay. All right. When you play games, you know, whether it's... To win. Yeah, you play to win, you know. Whether it's a game like Catch Race or whether it's a board game at home or whether it is, well, the game that L.O.B. played yesterday. First, we got to tell you that for Christmas, L.O.B.'s boyfriend, Matt Commerce, her BFMC, got her a balloon ride. Hot air balloon. Hot air balloon. Long time boyfriend. Yes. Four years. Four years. And counting. High school. That's right. High school. Oh, yes. We've been through a whole cycle. Yes, that is true. Now, first time they went to go on said hot air balloon, couldn't do it, right? No, it was too cloudy, too murky. Okay. That's what they said. Well, yesterday was a beautiful day. Yeah.
So what happened when you went yesterday? She said it was too windy. Too windy? She said the wind was picking up and it was letting down and it was too unpredictable. Uh-huh. Yeah. Couldn't go up. Don't want to do that. Yeah. You know what they decided to do instead? Let's go have a fun day together. Let's play a little game of bocce ball. Oh. That sounds harmless enough. Yeah. Sure. Except you don't realize you're playing with someone named Lauren O'Brien. Right. Right? Now she can be a little, sometimes we call her the Irish Cyclone. Yes. Right? She'll get you. She'll get you. Now, she may have thrown her ball up into the trees twice. She may have. And then she may have also swallowed a bug and thrown up. What? Only? I love it. Only our girl, Lauren O'Brien. I was like, how did it... It escalates this. L-O-B. You wanted to start the day in a beautiful hot air balloon, and it ends with you eating a bug and vomiting. I know. I'm supposed to be on a hot air balloon right now. Oh, it escalated quickly. How did the bocce ball get thrown up into the tree? Well, okay. Excuse me. We were playing. You still have that bug in your throat. Yeah, I know, right?
We were playing in the park and it was just too level and too easy. So we were trying to make it interesting by making obstacles. We would be like, you have to bounce it off that rock or you have to throw it like over the tree or whatever. And twice, Matt, who is a lot stronger than I was, was like, you have to go over the tree. So the first time he threw that into there, I got the ball stuck. Oh, my God. And he had to, like, throw his ball up and then run out of the way. They're just trying to have fun. Wow. That's it. They just want to have a good time. And then he did it again, but he was like, there's no way. He's like, this is, like, the smallest tree in the park, and it's, like, an evergreen tree. Are there other people around? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So we, second time we got stuck. Then I was looking up while he was trying to get my ball out of the drain. I was like, because it almost fell on his head. And right when I went, I must have swallowed like whatever bug was in the air. So I was like, it's stuck in my throat and I had to throw up. Woods right now is looking at L.O.B. like she is a human oddity. Trying to understand her just like.
How her? And it's true. I mean, stuff like that, that's L.O.B. It's unbelievable. Her boyfriend just sitting there watching her puke because she got a bug down her throat. He was like, yeah, this is just like Christmas morning because I threw up on Christmas morning as well. Different reason. But that was from a hangover. Yes. Now, we mentioned this earlier. Yesterday, I was out enjoying my day and got an email from her. Your friend. My friend and producer Jay. Alleged friend. Allegedly. It said, Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid. And I didn't have time to read it then. I had to read it later. But it says, and I quote, Top Signs Mikey was an obese kid. Just so quickly, is this a homemade list? I searched and found a bunch of them. Okay. Mikey's favorite toy was syrup. That's pretty genius. Mikey learned to count using aerosol cheese empties. Mikey's favorite color was Dorito. That's pretty good. He sent this to me. I know. He sent it to all of us with no explanation. Yeah, Lauren wrote back, did you mean to send this? Mikey replaced the tassels on his tricycle with curly fries. True story. True story.
Mikey's pacifier was a giant turkey leg. The kid from Modern Family just signed on to star in Mikey's biopic. Biopic, sorry, biopic. That's sad. That's mean. Mikey wouldn't drink a juice box unless it was filled with bacon fat. They say he's right themselves. The side of Mikey's crib looked like the Kool-Aid man just smashed his way through it. Uh-oh. Adam's losing it. Mikey's sit and spin was just a sit. He's a monster. That is good. We couldn't get the momentum because you were so chubby. That is so good. Mikey's favorite condiment was pudding. You monster. He's trying to help you.
Fish sticks and pudding. When the school's gym teacher really wanted to punish the students, he would make them run laps around Mikey. Mikey's lunchbox needed wheels. When Mikey was out sick, they would give two cafeteria workers the day off. That one got wood so much, he just collapsed onto the beanbag in the studio. During games of hide and seek, Mikey's classmates would hide in his folds. Still looking for a couple kids. Mikey got out of school on bring your obese child to work day. Mikey was included in the government's no child with a big behind program. And finally, Mikey's school pictures had to be taken by Google Earth.
Look at that cafeteria. Two workers the day off. Had to give two workers the day off. Jane, Helen, this is the superintendent. You do not need to come in today. It looks like Mikey's sick. Mikey's sick. Imagine my surprise yesterday looking down at my email. Oh, perfect. Look what Jay sent. He's out. The dude is out. That got me so good. Oh, boy. That's one of my favorite bits. Dude, I was laughing so hard in the break just now. Just now listening to yourself laughing. Oh, Mikey's favorite condiment is pudding? Yeah. That's genius. That's the one I like. Freaking J, dude. Well, all right. Poor Mikey's not even here. He's out. He got his gallbladder taken out, and he's on the spit. Yeah. And when we come back, you're going to want to tune in for this. His legs are getting lengthened. Oh, wow. Trying to make it a little taller. Our friend Jay has a parody that he's written about our friend Mike. Tribute. And LOB has 10 places where you can always get freebies. We will be right back. It's the Mikey Show. Feast on it. Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is Toyota Today. Legendary quality.
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at Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. At Mossy Nissan, they know you've done your research. That's why they give you their lowest rock-bottom price right up front, clearly marked on every new Nissan. Drive better for less today at all six Mossy Nissan locations and at mossynissan.com. This report, it's brought to you by Subway. February is back at Subway restaurants. Any regular footlong is a $5 footlong starting at 7 a.m. Come in, get any regular footlong for only $5. Well, the freeway's starting to get a little busy here. We've got a shovel that's causing some problems on the 163 northbound before Balboa Avenue. It's in the number three lane. Watch out for it. Another car that's stalled. This one's right here. It's right here on the 805. right here on the 805 southbound right past the 8 east and another accident this one on the 8 westbound before east murray drive you've got tow trucks on the way there this report also brought to you by your san diego county toyota dealers toyota owners our neighborhood toyota dealer is the right place to maintain your toyota because nobody knows your toyota better than the toyota factory train techs they use quality genuine toyota parts i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9
it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report this is bird from bird's earth shed with the fm 94.9 authentic surf report for a wednesday morning today this is being brought to you by mossy nissan mossy nissan will pay you cash for your cars go to mossy nissan.com for all the details today under beautiful sunny skies and light offshore winds we've got a smaller small combination primarily out of the west northwest And a little bit of secondary south swell. There is a new west-northwest direction expected to fill in throughout the day. Right now, though, a lot of spots getting buried in that high tide once again this morning. Waves running in that waist-chest high zone. Standout spots shoulder high. Possible pluses on top of that. But a lot of areas are backed off. A little bit lined up at the beach breaks. Some occasional corners there to be sure. Reef breaks again needing that lower tide. Once again, it's a beautiful morning and there are ways to be had. Let's see how the day progresses. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair restoration needs, go see Joe Roper on Marina Boulevard and tell them I sent you. The Authentic Surf Report could be heard. It comes daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like...
Gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I like to collect stuff. I collect sports stuff and all that, like memorabilia. Lauren. No way I'd rather freeze to death than be stuck on an elevator. You would? Yes. And Jay. I did have a big giant pickle barrel that I loved. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. Mikey is out today, so you are hearing a live show. You've got me, Woodsy. You've got L-O-B. Hi. And you've got Jaybird. Word up. And our phone screener is Emily. She is here. And Mikey went in yesterday. He had gallbladder surgery. Did he? Didn't he? He did. They've got so many cool inventions, man. Now, like the way that he had his surgery and then he was, you know, texting pictures later. He was feeling better. So hopefully he's back tomorrow. Like a vacation. It's not really a vacation when you get surgery. Nah, it kind of hurts. Elected. You know, well, I think... It's gallbladder. It's gallbladder. Nose reconstruction. Wow, Jay is meany. Well, speaking of meanies, I know everyone's been waiting to hear this. I haven't heard it. Oh, boy. I haven't heard it. And if Jay says it's mean, it's got to be mean. It's a little mean. Well, Jay is... Listen, he's the undisputed heavyweight champion.
of the world with these freaking parodies. He's a heavyweight champion of means. Yes, and he has done parodies about me that almost made me cry. He's got parodies about L.O.B. His parodies are vicious. This is his newest. Jay, why don't you set us up? What is the parody about? It's about Mikey's surgery. Okay. And I think it will explain itself. We can discuss afterwards. Okay. Oh, boy. He's got a long lead-in. Mikey's got to get an operation. Let's get him on the gurney. Jade him down, nerd. We need O2 over here. He's a suction and a bleeder. His boobs are out of fashion. He's got some double D's. Mikey strapped him all the way from the bathroom. They're busting out with the greatest of ease. The Dodgers take on a truckload of bags.
It's like catching a whale, if you can imagine that. If one of his others and the others don't ask, they're gonna pack him up, pack him up, pack him up, pack him up. Hey, man, you got some double Ds? Oh, my God. You gotta get an operation. Hey, man, you're flopping at your knees. Oh, God. Take him out. You gotta get an operation. Oh, he's a C-cup now. Much nicer. Wow. Makes you wasteless, Ben. And there you go. We need the clapping sound. Where is it? Here we go. Wow. Can't find him. Oh my gosh. You said something about udders in there. Yeah, one of his udders and the others don't match. He right now is laying there stitched up. Shaking his head going.
What the hell did I do hiring that guy to be my producer? It's a little mean. Doctors removed a truckload of fat. It was very well done. You said, after the truckload, you said, it's like catching a whale. Have you got to imagine that? Yeah, you got to shove them in there. What does that say? M1 Sua is the word of the day winner. Jay, take her call, would you? M1 Sua, are you there? Yes, I'm here. All right. Oh, did I say her call? His call. My bad. Well, it's all good. Congratulations. What did he win, Jay, for the word of the day? Did you say the word of the day? Yes, he did. I weaved it in there real sweet. It is a SeaWorld fun card. It's good for all of the 2012 season. You can check out the new interactive Turtle Reef exhibit. Nice. Excellent. Hang on the line. I've been there. It's awesome. Thank you. So our friend L.O.B. has a list that she wants to tell you. L.O.B., what does this list entail? I love this list. Weird, because it's called 10 Places You Can Always Get Freebies. Cheap. Hell yeah. Frugal. You know what? Why pay for other things that people are getting for free? Napkins. Yeah. Little plastic containers from Rubio's. You put your butter in. Those aren't free. They are free. They have an offer to take. Those are part of. Straws. If you order something there, then you get that. You can take a handful. I'll order and then you can take a handful to go. You are my parents.
Well, you're everybody's parents. My parents have a fridge full of McDonald's creamers, straws. My wife steals hot sauce from like Taco Bell. But she doesn't steal it because we get it through the drive-thru. So she just keeps it. If it's a sauce that I can only get from that place, then I'll hold on to it. But other than that. They actually sell Taco Bell hot sauce in the store. But we get it from the drive-thru. We don't go inside and stuff our pockets like you do. Do you, like my parents. I stuff a bag. Do you have napkins that are just. In my car right now. But, okay, that's okay, but do you not purchase napkins? Why would you purchase napkins when they're free? They're not free. Somebody pays for them? Exactly. It's the cost of doing business. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, this is not exactly what that list is. Okay. This is stuff that they're legitimately, these businesses are really giving away for free. Okay. Okay, so IKEA.
Just relax. You're not going to get some free furniture, but they often do the free breakfast in there. They do. Yeah, like this past weekend, you could go in there from Saturday through Monday before 11 a.m., and you can get a platter of eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Are you kidding me? Plus a cup of coffee for free. No way. Yeah. Normally, it's only $1.78 for all that, which is... I'm going to go to breakfast at Ikea. But, yeah, you could have gone in there. So, yeah, you just, like, keep an eye up on the stuff that they're doing. They have it up on their special offers page. I've eaten lunch there before. They have really good meatballs. The meatballs are good, yeah. They're really tasty. Yeah, so what I'm going to do is bookmark all these little pages. Yeah, so go to their special offers page. Then Panda Express. Did not know. Every time Panda Express launches a new product, they offer up a free coupon to get a free serving of the new menu item. And you have to follow them on Facebook. Okay, no problem. So Panda Express on Facebook. I love to eat Panda Express at the airport. I always eat it at the airport. Yeah, so now you can go get a free feast item on your way to catch a flight to Dallas. Feast item. I'll probably still just pay for it.
Why? Because then I've got to print out the coupon and follow them and all that bit. I'm saving money right now for a wedding. I don't know if I mentioned that. So I'm going to be getting all of these freebies. And Matt is broke because he bought that ring. Yes, I'm sure. Kmart, Jay's favorite spot, Kmart. They have something called the Sample Center on their website. It's K-Smart. K-Smart? Oh. All right. He's doing a bit. That's a bit. Yeah, it's called the Sample Center. Like I said, I'm going to post this on Facebook, on our MikeyShow.com. For all you other cheapskates. Facebook.com slash MikeyShow. But, yeah, you bookmark all these things, and then you just have, like, your little free section. Hey, you never have to pay for a meal again, apparently. Well, you don't have to get crazy. Yeah, but they have, like, links to the different manufacturers will offer up samples. Like, this week, they have emergency powder. I like it. And Purex laundry detergent. Look at that. That stuff ain't cheap. Yeah, so go in there and you check back every week and see what you can get for free. All right. A lot of hotels will offer like a continental breakfast. Even if you're not staying there, you just walk in the lobby, they never know. That's not, they don't offer that to those. It's like danishes and like there's usually some cereal. You've never done that. Has there ever been a good continental breakfast anyway in the history of hotels? Yeah, you get yogurts, you'll play yogurts. I had one that they had eggs and bacon. Really? It's more than continental. Okay, well that's good. It's intercontinental.
All right. Do any of you guys have a Kindle, the Amazon Kindle? Yeah, I have a Fire, the Kindle Fire. Yeah, the Kindle Fire. Well, I guess they give away like thousands of e-books all the time on there. Had no idea. We've bought two books since we got it, so it's definitely money well spent. So you go to the bestseller section and you look at them and then what are you doing, Jay? I'm saying we need to go to a best of bit. Oh, okay. Trying to be secretive, we came up with a hand signal. Oh. You're like, what are you doing, Jay? But that wasn't the signal. I don't know what you were doing. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing. Oh, okay. What best bet are we going to do? It's found L.O.B.'s list. It's a list I'd put together to write a parody song about L.O.B. So are we just scratching this list or are we going to get back to it? We can come back to it. Yeah, we'll come back to it. We'll come back to it. Jay calls Lauren's behind the gift. That's not the only thing he calls it. He calls it various things. Yeah. He calls it the gift. He also calls it her butt. Oh, would you like me to go down the list of some of the things that Jay calls it? You're making a list? No, you made a list. What are you talking about? Actually, oh, no, I should say this isn't just a list of my butt. This is apparently a lot of things. What is that? Oh, you didn't know about this? Uh-uh. Jay, want to explain yourself? I don't even know what you're talking about. Oh, your list that I found.
What? It's a list of words. I was like, L-O-B. And then a list of words. Would you like to read them? That is for a song. That's for a parody song. You can choose which go on the air, Mike. I was writing a parody song. Holy cow. Yeah. How would you like to find that on your friend's desk? Why are you going through my desk? This is my workspace. Because I'm the assistant producer and you're the executive producer. Oh, no. I had to get something. I've got to write a song. Listen to this. You don't have to write a song. I do. It says L-O-B song. Yeah. Old is the first word. The first word is old. Oh, my God. Big butt. Flat chest. Cats. Day. Hooker. Hooker. Hooker. Hooker. You are a smelly pirate hooker. Drying up. Oh. Easy. Easy. Easy. That's a word on there. Klutz. Yeah, that's true. They're all true. Unwed. Yep. Oh, my God. He's so vicious. I know. It's a song. This is his creativity process, by the way. Yeah, it's his process. This is his process. Spinster. What rhymes with spinster? Spinster.
The last one on here is dark meat. What did you do when you saw that? I was mad. I got like almost mad to you. My face got all hot. Yeah, my face got all hot. I was like, what is this? I saw old was the first thing on there. And then I was like, and I came in, he was like. Let's see. I got to put together a list here of L.O.B. stuff. I want to write a song. Big butt. A hole. Flat chest. Slut. Hooker. Klutz. Unwed. Dark meat. Yeah, that'll do it. Dark meat. Some of them made me laugh, and some of them I was like, what the heck? Let me tell you this. I don't want any part of it. His thought process. No, I don't either. I don't know part of it. Because when he does do a song, we purposely don't listen to it so we can hear it on the air live. And that's his process. That's his notes on LLB. He doesn't get his list back, so there's not going to be a song. No. Oh, I wish there was a song. With all those words. Dark meat. Dark meat. What was the dark meat? Is that how you do it? You write down a bunch of words and then just spitball? For you guys, it's easy because it's just all about food and fat.
But with her, she's harder to write about. And for the record, I don't think you're flat-chested. You just always say it. But I do think you're old, and I do think you're a whore. And I think you're drying up. And they are drying up. They are drying up, technically. Cats, cats. And you will have an S-load of cats in the future, I promise. Well, there ain't no doubt about it. You'll just be the old woman living in the shoe. The old spinster. Dark meat thing was just, I was hungry. And I was horny. Hungry and horny. HH, Jamie, Woods' wife, has been working so much that last night she came home and Woods decided to stroll out nude in the living room. She was working. Woods just walk. That's his bit. He'll just walk out. Just walk out nude. Nude. Naked. Like, do you walk normal? Do you look like a big...
No, I walk normal. He strolls in. I got home, and then I always sit in the hot tub when I get home. And then I want to wash that off me, you know? So I showered, and she was on her laptop, weird, like sending orders, just buried in her laptop in the living room watching TV. And I just said, I looked out there, and I go, I'm going to get her. Walked right past her. She didn't even notice. Call if you do that. I want to hear from people that do that. Oh, I do that, but not as a bit. I do it, but I do it so much that Matt doesn't even look up anymore. He's out of his mind. I get upset because he'll be doing something. Then I finally have to start dancing. Really? And he doesn't do anything? No, because that's how I walk around the house. You've played the card too much. I know. Can you really play that card too much? No, that card's always good. I'm pretty sure all of my neighbors have seen me nude as well because I forget sometimes and leave the windows open. What will he do? He'll keep working on the computer? Sometimes he looks up and is like, oh, hey. But most of the time he's just like, oh, yeah. She's naked again. He's out of his mind. She's naked again. Yeah. That never gets old. I don't think it gets old. It does. Trust me. I have a buddy I play video games with. He gets nude for you. And they all get nude. His wife, when she wants him to get off. No, it's not Adam. She will walk through the room with just her high heels on. What are high heels? What are high heels? Oh, like the Alps are high heels. Yeah, like the Alps go high. The Rockies. So is Mount Everest. The Rockies. Mount Hood. Those are very.
High hills. I've never known anybody to get off a video game so quick. I gotta go. Oh, yeah. So she's doing it again, isn't she? And he's like, yep. Is she stoked that he tells you that she's walking through the limit? Right. Doesn't seem to care. Doesn't seem to care. Doesn't seem to care. I feel like a little bit of clothes works better than the nude bit. Call us if you do that with your spouse. Just for fun. I'm a big nude. To make them laugh. I'm a big nude guy. Literally a big nudist. You're nudist. You do the nude bit for laughs. Yeah, and I'll also give her a tuck back every now and then for laughs, and she gets a kick out of that. She does. What a creep you are. The other day in the mirror, we were both getting ready to go somewhere, and I got out of the shower, straight tucked back, and then I turned around and walked into the shower, tucked back. She goes, I've never seen it from behind. It got her so good. Oh, man. You don't do that? You don't have that dynamic in your house? I'm just like you. No, we do not have that dynamic. But you do things like laptop nude. Yes. You do go home and take your clothes off immediately. I like that. I prefer that when I get home and I'm in the privacy of my own boudoir, I do like to be naked. Save that clip. If you didn't have a bunch of people in your house, would you cook? Yes. Well, sometimes I'll walk downstairs nude if it's the middle of the night. That's insane. It's the middle of the night. You're taking a chance. No, I'm not. I know nobody's getting up.
You're going to ruin everybody's appetite. What did he say? He said you're going to ruin everybody's appetite. Mike, it's morning time. Don't go. Mike, what if some poor little child put bacon in their mouth right when you said that? Nudity with your spouse is funny. It is funny. Nudity is always funny. Can't it be sexy instead of just funny? No, no. Why does it make people laugh? Well, you're doing a dance, L.O.B. Well, eventually, to get attention. Well, you look like you. I look like me. It's different. Like, if I look like Ryan Gosling, for example, and I walked out nude, it may be sexy. Yeah. I walk out nude, I look like Chris Farley. Yeah. Well, if Ryan Gosling was to, like, do a dance and shimmy everything around, that would be funny. Yes. I look like the Michelin man walking into the shower. So there's that. It's funny because it's true. It hurts when it's true. It hurts more. Yeah, it hurts way more. I'm on Paul from San Diego. Hi. Hey, how you guys doing? Good. You do the nude bit? I do it all the time. Your wife? Does your wife laugh? Yeah, she does. But then again, sometimes I guess I play the card too much and she won't even look. Yeah, me too. It's over.
Yeah, you can overplay it, and then they know your routine. Especially men. Men can overplay it real good. I'll teach you guys a good move. I learned it from one of the best. You walk away and just let your butt hang out. Oh, yeah, I've done that. Oh, yeah, my white, cellulite-ridden butt. That gives a good laugh. Hair, there's some hair. What do you do? You pull your... You pull the pants down just a little bit. I do that. Yeah. And you walk away and you're like, okay, whatever you want. That's funny. That is a funny bit. That's a good bit. That's funny. If you got the gift, it's better. Well, anything works. M1 Carolyn from San Diego. You there, Carolyn? Yeah. You do the nude thing? M1 Petey, but yeah. Like L.O.B., it's kind of worn thin. Yeah. You do it too much? Yeah, I wore it out. So what do you do? Now, LOB does it to get his attention. Is that what you do? Yeah, if he's on his laptop or watching TV, I'll just sort of, but I strut. So you do like the runway? Yeah. It's a catwalk? Yeah. So you'll strut through, and he'll be on his laptop, and he'll just keep looking at the laptop.
Well, you know, sometimes I do it when, you know, I'm trying to get him to, you know, make love. Frisky. Right. Yes. You're trying to get him frisky. Make love. And, yeah, actually, it works pretty well, but if he's not in the mood, then I just get a chuckle. Not in the mood? No. Oh, boy. How could anyone never not be in the mood? Well, a man, a man. We're talking about a man, right? Yeah, are you sure he ain't a heishi from Taiwan? He's a lady boy. Lady boy. Are you sure your husband's not a woman? Heishi. Because I ain't never not been in the mood. I mean, I'm in the mood. If you're offering. I was at a funeral once. I did it anyway. I didn't care. As it's happening, I'm in the mood for more. That's right. I went to, Kim and I went to a slaughterhouse one time. I didn't care. Oh, I didn't care. He actually did something weird for me. I was in on it. On the killing floor. You never... On the killing floor. Wow, that is a strong, strong, strong bit. Strong to quite strong. Yeah, that's funny, man. This is fun for us because we get to sit and laugh and laugh at Jay still. Jay said off the mic, I sure do get a lot of grief. Yeah. And he does. It's true. It is true. So, L.O.B., what's your bit?
Oh, this list. I tired of it about halfway through because we went to play this best stuff clip. It's 10 places you can always get freebies. And there are some good things on here for people who are thrifty like myself and Jay. So I'm just going to go ahead and I'm not going to finish it on the air. I'm going to post it on Facebook dot com slash slash Mikey. Correct. Well, it's it is the Mikey show today. It's the hybrid show. Mikey is out. He had his gallbladder removed. I was going to say something really dirty this time. Okay. Let's just say he's getting a tummy tuck. Okay. Thank you for not. No, that's not what he's doing. But he did get his gallbladder taken out. Cheap implant. Oh, wait. No, he didn't need that. We're going to be doing some best of clips. We're going to be talking about some current events. If you are listening to this, chances are you are suffering from a phobia and you don't even know it. I will tell you all about it when we come back. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection. Ready, set, go. Your three favorite words. That's why we built you the Chevy Cruze Eco.
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Call 1-800-600-1637. For your debt-free Bible, call 1-800-600-1637. 1-800-600-1637. Hey, San Diego, it's Tony for Butoni. You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking. It's the delectable, exceptional, gastrointestinal delight of your night. Butoni, butoni, butoni, butoni. Oh, you make me feel so right. Think you can top that magic? Just go to Facebook.com slash Butoni USA and upload your original Cooking Up a Jingle lyrics by March 17th. We'll pick the top five, you vote, and the winner gets 5,000 smackeroonies.
Go to Facebook.com slash Bretonnia USA for full Eric requirements, eligibility, and official rules. Void or prohibited. No purchase necessary. Contest open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. states in D.C. ages 18 and up. Interest must be received by 11, 59 p.m. EST, March 17. The voting closes 5 p.m. EST, April 4th. Hi, this is Ella B, and I want to talk to you again about Ovation Cell Therapy. I have been using it for over a year now, and I am absolutely in love with the product. My hair looks better than it's ever looked. It's thicker, stronger, longer, and I get so many compliments on how it looks. And one of my favorite things about using Ovation is getting other people... Turned on to it as well. I have given the gift of beautiful hair to my mom, to my sister. A ton of listeners have reached out to me. And Woodsy, who do you now have using Ovation Cell Therapy? First, thank you for turning my wife, Jamie, on to Ovation, who in turn turned me on to it. Now I have given the Men's Max Pack to our friend and our producer, Jay Isbell. He will soon enough have thicker, stronger, and longer hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout. And you're going to get a special. introductory discount. And don't just take our word for it. It is 100% guaranteed or your money back. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and remember to select FM949 at checkout for your special introductory rate. You'll be spending a little time if you travel this morning on the 805 northbound, the 52 east to about Balboa Avenue between 18 and 29 miles an hour. There's an accident on the 8 westbound before East Murray Drive. They've got tow trucks on the way. Then a nice build up behind it on the 8 westbound from Main Street to
the 67 North in the teens right now. Drive on the 5, the northbound side, that's a tough one. 24th Street to E Street between 12 and 17 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. Our neighborhood Toyota dealer is the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory train techs. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. This is The Mikey Show. All right. I don't trust anybody who has a P.O. box. Woods. It's against my will. Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. We are hanging out with you today. Mikey is out. He will be back hopefully sometime this week. Want him to feel better. Woodsy's hanging out with you. That's me. You got your old pal, L.O.B., and your old pal, Jay. We are doing a hybrid show for you today. L.O.B., what is going on in the news? Oh, my goodness. Scandal in San Diego. A San Diego real estate agent, a mortgage broker, his wife, and seven others were charged Tuesday with conspiracy fraud and money laundering in a multimillion-dollar mortgage fraud scheme.
and they were targeting low-income immigrant homebuyers. Ah, sucks. They were trying to swindle about $50 million. It's unbelievable. In loans, yeah. So you may have seen this guy's face around Mira Mesa out on some of the outdoor advertising. His name is Eric Elagado. My guy. Thank you very much. Eric Elagado. He's pleading not guilty to a 12-count indictment, and he was arrested Friday, and he's being held on a $100,000 bond. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, hopefully none of them that's listening was one of the victims of this guy. In other news, Chris Tucker now owes more than $12 million in taxes. Up, up, give, Craig. Identical Chris Tucker. That's identical Chris Tucker. Up, up, give. Better? So, yeah, I guess the IRS had hit him before for a non-payment of more than $11.5 million from 2001, 2002, 2004, 2006. And now in the state of Georgia, he owes more than... $600,000, so over $12 million. He has not put out, okay, since 98, he's only released three films, and they were all in the Rush Hour little franchise. So maybe he gets out there and does some work. Yeah, do some movies, man. They can make that back in one movie if you're good. Yeah, absolutely. How'd you get fired on your day off? That is like, it's like you're here. He did, yeah. He did get fired on his 10-year-off. Exactly. Got a couple of sports stories for you.
Dodger center fielder Matt Kemp says, look, if Ryan Braun, who was the MVP last year and has been accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs, if Ryan Braun loses his MVP award, Matt Kemp says, hey, I don't want it. He finished in second place, and he goes, look, that would be by default. And I just wish they would have voted for me instead of winning it by default. So he said, even if Ryan Braun loses it, he doesn't want it. Also, the San Diego State Aztecs will take on Wyoming tonight. I would say they're desperate for a win. They need to win this game tonight. It's 7.30 p.m. at the Viejas Arena. I told you before we went to break that there is a new fad. Well, it's a new bit. People are calling it nomophobia. And what nomophobia is, it's a made-up term that's short for no mobile phobia. Oh, come on. It started in Britain where they call your cell phone your mobile. Ah. So it's the no mobile phobia. If you are without your cell phone, you are anxious. You worry about losing it. You keep an extra phone in case yours breaks, and you bring your phone to bed.
I do all of those except for keep an extra phone because I'm not a creep. No way. I actually, during the commercial break, went down seven floors to my car to get my phone and seven floors back up because I didn't want to miss a call or a text or email. I have nomophobia like a madman. If it's not within reaching distance, I flip out. You are sort of nomophobic. Yeah. I've noticed that. I am nomophobic. From the get-go. That is true. That is true. Which usually means people that are nomophobic actually, like, really do like not having their phones. You know what I mean? What do you mean? I was making a parallel to homophobic. Oh, well, I'm not homophobic. At all. At all. But I am nomophobic. You work at the Mashed Potato Club. You did. Do you remember that? Yeah, you danced for tips and tips alone. There was that one time you were... Put your hands together for Mr. Woods. Yes. I was a bartender. Yes, at a gay-friendly bar. It's a gay-friendly bar. Yes, finally. You got it. It's not a gay bar. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Well...
It was a gay bar, for lack of a better term. No, because there were hot women in there that I would make sex to. Well, they were lesbians that made sex to other hot lesbians. No, they weren't. And not you. No, they weren't. It was a long time ago. I needed the money, and I was in college, and I made a ton of dough. I have a legitimate question. A legitimate question, okay. So you said you needed the money. Yeah. Did that also mean extracurricular sort of like potato toppings after you were done working at the bar? I never topped anyone's potatoes. You never did. Never. You never put a dollop of, say, sour cream. I have a legitimate question, Woods. Yes, legitimate. Do you still keep in touch with your sugar daddy? I mean, your pen pals, email, Facebook. I do talk to my old manager. His name is Shane. He lives in Chicago. Shane has a girlfriend. He has a child. Shane brought a bunch of straight guys over. To bartend and bar back and do all that kind of stuff. I have a legitimate question for you. Since you do have that glitter allergy, what did you do when you worked at the Mashed Potato Club to get over your glitter allergy? I drank a lot of martinis. So did you have alternative glitter? So you just drank through it? I didn't wear glitter. Did you break out in hives when you wore glitter? I didn't break out in hives because I didn't wear glitter. I wore black pants.
and a black button-down shirt to work. What's chapless? They just had the buttons all cut out. You mean assless? You know, you're the professional. You tell me. Chapless. Assless chaps. I have one more legitimate question for you. Okay, last one. Were the assless black chaps that you wore, were they leather? I wore black pants that I bought at J. Crew. That's where I bought them. They were just black pants with a black button-down. They're the kind that you can just rip off with Velcro on both sides. Just whoosh. So were they buttoned up or Velcro? They were zip up and they had a button. So zipper's on the side of the leg. No, zipper where your dong is. Did the button just say press here? Where's the freaking? Damn it. I have some sound effects on my phone. Maybe I'll just use those.
There we go. They're very hot. They're super loud. They're super loud. This is a story that I really liked. I wanted to talk to you guys about Adam Lambert, who is one of Jay's favorite performers, will be performing with Queen this summer. And look, if anybody can fill Freddie Mercury's little shoes, Adam Lambert, Kim, that dude has pipes, man. And he has a good voice. So Queen's Brian May, who's the guitar player, said, judging by my incoming mail, this decision will make a lot of people very happy. It's a worthy challenge for us. I'm sure Adam would meet with Freddie's approval. They're going to be playing. It's at the Sonosphere Festival at Nebworth Park in England. Three-day festival. Queen will be headlining on Saturday. Kiss is going to headline Friday. And Faith No More will close Sunday. Sounds like an awesome, awesome deal. Adam Lambert, we have actual audio of him rehearsing with Queen. Here it is. Buddy, your boy make a big noise playing in the street. Gonna be a big one someday. You got mud on your face. He's got an accent. This style, I think. It sounds so good. Singing. We will, we will rock you. Oh, his timing's a little off.
This is rehearsal. This is rehearsal. This is where you work out the kinks. Here we go. What's a young man? What's a Vogue? Oh, he's got bread on his face. Bread on his face. It's a little off again. This is just the vocal. Yeah. I would go see that. I would too. I would definitely go see that. It's going to be outstanding. Well, we have another best of clip for you. Jay, which one is this one? This is buzzword. Oh, which one? A very competitive buzzword. Oh, gosh, they're all competitive. I hope that I won. Enjoy this. This is buzzword. You get a word. That's what you do. It's time to play buzzword. All right. Jay, what are we playing for? It's dinner for two at the La Jolla Shores during San Diego Restaurant Week. Why? It's in two weeks until January 28th. There you go. Three-course meal. Get some. There you go. It's like a meal, but it's different. No. You know what it is. I can see. I'm looking at you. Touche. All right. Let's see. M1 Whitney from Encinitas. Who would you like to represent you? I'll take Wood, please. You got it. M1 Daniel from Oceanside. Who do you want?
Yeah. I bet you do. So strange that I've been taken last. M1 and Chris from Mira Macy. You got me. What's that? I picked you first. I feel confident. I feel confident. Hang on. Now, Jay's going to give us a word, then he's going to give us a clue, and we have to yell out what the phrase is that that word's in. Okay. Here we go. Today's word is glass. Glass. G-L-A-S-S. He spells it. Helps you read the fine print. That's it. Wow. All right. A boxer's glass jaw. Yeah. Gosh darn it. Invisible barrier. Glass ceiling. Weird that I got that. What? Glass ceiling? Yeah. I've never heard that. What? I haven't. I haven't. What does that mean? What does it mean?
I mean, she can't get through the glass ceiling. There's a ceiling that holds her down. It's for women. Is it really? It's for, like, anyone you could consider a minority, but mostly women. It means that, like, you can see what's going on up on the floor where the bosses are, but you can't ever get past it. And how would you say it? I've hit the glass ceiling. Yeah. Or, like, I'm being hindered by the glass ceiling. I had an Asian buddy that would say, I hit the bamboo ceiling. Oh, my. And I was, like... I would say I've hit the tortilla ceiling. Yes. Absolutely. Now you're getting it. There you go. Now you got it. All right, let's do this. Here we go. Spectacles. Eyeglasses. Eyeglasses. I think Woods got eyeglasses first. I said glasses. Oh, did you? She said eyeglasses. Eyeglasses. That's called honesty right there. Nice job, Woodsy. I was hoping that you would come home. I came clean. The question that determines if you're an optimist. Glass half full. Is a glass half full or not empty? He got it. I'm giving it to him. Gosh darn. Was it all? Did he get it all? What was the answer? It said if the glass is half full. Okay. All right. All right. I said glass half full. All right. He gets it. I missed the if, though. Here we go. These are long answers. Prosthetic optical. Glass eye. Gosh darn it. Dang it. Annie Lennox. Broken glass. Dancing on broken glass. Walking on broken glass. Walking. Who said walking first? Oh, come on.
I think it was. Did I get it? Yeah. It's not dancing. No, it's walking. It's walking on broken glass. Oh, come on. Oh, that song sucks. You need some better judgment, my friend. I was saying I thought it was you, but they both agreed that it was Woods. So here we go. Weird. Cathedral windows. Gotcha. Stay glass. Stay glass. Woods. Woods, by the way, just so you know. Woods doesn't do the pelvic thrust anymore because he punched himself in the balls. He's going with the hands on the hands. Quack. Oh, man. All right, here we go. The word is still glass. Goblets, tumblers, flutes. Glasses. Drinking glasses. Goblets, wine glasses. Fancy glasses. Goblets, tumblers, or flutes. Champagne glasses. Alcohol glasses. Glasses for cocktails. Cocktail glasses. Glassware. Glassware. Here we go. New word. Thank you. If I was getting married and registered, maybe I'd know that. Oh, gosh. That's true. Our new word is horse. H-O-R-S-E. Horse. Oh, boy. This could get bad. No. Woods, it's horse. You know, like the animal horse. Like heroin. Yeah, not like prostitutes. Right. Not horse. Here we go. Pungent mustard.
Horseradish. What a mustard. Or horseradish. Horseradish. Horseradish. Nonsense. Horseplay. Horsing around. Stop horsing around. Nonsense. Foolishness. Horseradish. Horseplay. Horse-ass. Horse-tuning. Horse tuning. Horse hockey or horse feathers. What? I've heard horse feathers. Oh, I haven't heard horse feathers. That's horse feathers. That's horse feathers. What's horse hockey? Never heard of horse hockey. That's horse hockey. Here we go. That's garbage. That's horse hockey. That is horse hockey. Horse. Don't look him in the mouth. Well, gift horse. Gift horse. Yeah. Gift horse. Yes, that's it. All right, scores. Mike, one. Lauren, three. Woods, six. So we need a couple of three-pointers here. Thank you. Oh, God. Harp at a hopeless cause. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Booyah. There you go. What? We already had that one. We just had it. Booyah. There you go. Oh, no, wait. Hold on a second here. What is, what? Oh, what did you say? Booyah. No, no, no, no. You're wrong. Harp at a hopeless cause. A horse with no name. Harp. Harp. Harp.
Booyah. There you go. I looked at the answer down below it. Or above it. Horse hockey. I don't know. Beat a dead horse. Beat a dead horse. Yes. People are screaming in their cars right now. Screaming. I get so threatened. Somebody is slapping their radio right now going, are you guys stupid? Oh, gosh. Okay, here we go. Booyah. There you go. I'm so hungry. I can eat a horse. I can eat a horse. Oh, gosh. Three-pointer. It's game. No, no. We got a couple more here. Here's a six-pointer. Oh, you stupid. Thank you. Thank you. In backwards order. Horse! Reverse horse! How? Reverse horse! Horse style. Horse style! Yes, it's horse style!
Reverse cowgirls. Reverse cowgirls. You creep. You're such a creep. It's worse. You bizarre creep. Our horse is out. Oh my gosh. In backwards order. Horrible. Horse hunky. What is wrong with you people? Cart before the horse. How is that reverse order? Yes, don't put the cart before the horse. I say that all the time. I did not think of that. All right. Reverse cowgirl. I don't know. Wow. What a creep. I don't know. Here we go. This is the last one. Oh, gosh. It's really hot in here. The locomotive. Horse. Train. Horse train. The horse caboose. Get on the horse. Get on your freaking caboose horse. Get on the horse. Time. Horse. Horse it around. The locomotive. The horse train. The horse head. The horse carry. The horse stop. This is going to win by default. Yes. What is it? Oh, gosh. Wow. Iron horse. Iron horse. That's what it's called. Oh, my gosh.
That's the greatest game ever. That's one of the greatest buzzwords ever. Reverse cowgirl. In the history of mankind. Giddy up. She is a deviant. That woman. I'm sorry. He said something about a reverse horse. You're a deviant fetishist. Cowgirl. Horses are not even in there. Not even in the word. M1 Whitney. You made a wise choice. Yes, you did. Oh, wow. What's going on? I'm a nanny and these are all my kids. Oh, there you go. Sorry about the reverse cowgirl. I thought maybe you guys were having a pillow fight. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. Woods won for you. Congratulations. Thank you. Hang on the line. Those were the hardest ones. No doubt. Those are the hardest ones. I would throw a bunch of cars to find easy ones, too. I could not stop laughing at Booyah. There you go. Oh, yeah. There you go. And we don't know who he's talking to. It could be any one of us. Is that a clue? Booyah. I thought that was a clue. Booyah. There you go.
Dude. Oh, my God. Somebody said on Facebook that was their number one favorite buzzword ever. And probably it's because L.O.B. said reverse cowgirl. Yeah. There's an image. Well, I think now that I'm listening back to it, I'm like, I think I sort of said it. You go reverse cowgirl. Yeah. We all know what you're saying. Well, he said reverse horse. Reverse horse. In my head, I was like, oh, boy. Oh, boy. That game is. So much freaking fun. I wonder if anyone out there has gone and got this game as a result of us playing. I'm sure. I want to have like a family game night and play that. Well, thank you guys for hanging with us today. We've got about half an hour left in the show. We've got a couple more best stuff for you we want to do. We still have plenty of stuff. Oh, yeah. We have a ton of stuff that we want to get to today. When we come back. Our friend Jay had an article that he was adamant that he got to present today. Yes. And it's want to lose weight, get smarter, and live longer. Yeah. Easy steps, Woods. Your friend, Jay Isbell, is going to tell us when we come back. It's the Mikey Show. We're filling in today. Well, we're always here, so we're not really filling in. But Mikey is out. He had gallbladder surgery yesterday. Reconstructive. Yes. No. No. He got his gallbladder removed. Lobotomy. No.
I just snobbed everywhere. The Mikey Show will be back in a second. Wow. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. What's up there, loved ones? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight at the Casbah, go see Anya Marina. You can also see Lady Dottie and the Diamonds at Gallagher's tonight. Bobby McFerrin at the Balboa Theater. Iced Earth at House of Blues. And it's Nerdcore Night at the Ruby Room. Tomorrow night, Raw Raw Riot play The Belly Up. Nervous Records play Anthology on the 25th. Vlogging Molly's at House of Blues on the 6th. And The Silent Comedy play The Belly Up March 8th with Dead Feather Moon and The Howls. Lagwagons at House of Blues March 9th and Still to Come shows from Pussifer, Polyphonic Spree, Transfer, Rise Against, M-Word with Firehose, Toon Yards with St. Vincent, James, and Two Weekends of Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there and save some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 content.
Hey guys, it's Woodsy, and I wanted to play you a little song. And I wanted to beg you and ask you for your support tomorrow as I will be at Dave & Buster's. It's 2931 Camino del Rio North, and it's happy hour. And this is not a very happy song. but it's going to be a happy hour. It's actually going to be a couple of happy hours because we're going to be there from 5 to 7, and we're going to be hanging out with you. We're giving so much cool stuff away. We've got Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets to give away. We've got Rise Against tickets to give away. There is so much to do at Dave & Buster's. You can play video games. I'm going to be shooting hoops with you. We're going to be having a good time, man. It's always a good time at Dave & Buster's. Half-priced, selected appetizer specials. J, L-O-B. Did you hear that? Half-priced. Okay? Drink specials. Oh, that's old-time radio. That's a drum roll. So, Dave & Buster's tomorrow, 5 to 7, with your old pal, Woodsy, we're giving away a ton of stuff. I don't know what Jay's doing, but please come out and support your boy tomorrow. Come hang out, and I'll buy you a beer, I promise. See ya.
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Lots of slowing here, too, on that 5 northbound from 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard to about the 54 east between 15 and 30 miles an hour. Some delay on the 15 northbound at Camino del Rio south, the 8 east, 16 to 22 miles an hour. This report brought to you by CBS 8. Wake up every weekday with News 8 at 4.30 a.m. Then last minute preps for the dream wedding giveaway on Live with Kelly. Live from Hawaii today at 9 a.m. On CBS 8. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. How many suits you got? One. And the only reason I don't have more than one is because I never know what's going to happen with my weight. Woods. I'd rather watch a tornado than watch soccer. Yeah. I'd rather watch a fake tornado than watch soccer. That's just me though. Lauren. I rolled my eyes so hard I didn't think they were going to come back down. And Jay. I'm bringing the war to your shores. No. Yes. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. Our diminutive Latino friend Mikey is recovering from gallbladder surgery yesterday. Toenail removal. All in his toes. We wish him well and praying for a speedy recovery for Speedy Gonzalez. So Jay, Jay wanted to do this story. Jay, I want to know, tell me how to lose weight, get smarter, and live longer. Well, first off, you and Mikey are not going to like this. It requires you not to eat every other day.
So you can eat anything you want one day. The next day, you eat nothing. That's not healthy. It says the bad news is three days out of the week are going to be brutal. But they've discovered that your body produces insulin, like too much insulin. It makes your heart work harder, makes everything go more difficult. It says just want to lose weight, get smarter, live longer, stop eating every other day. There's no way. I can't do it. It's not healthy. Yeah, I have heard that before, though, to kind of slow some of the aging process. You keep yourself hungry. There's no freaking way that's healthy. I don't know. There's no way. And I'll tell you what, man. This is going to sound weird, and you're not going to believe me when I tell you. I'm not getting enough calories in my day throughout the week when I'm doing my strict diet. I'm not getting enough calories. I have to force myself to eat. After my workout and at dinner, I don't want to eat. That must be new for you. It is very new. I have to force feed myself. I saw pictures of you forcing yourself this weekend. You're forcing a Sunday down. I said throughout the week. And you had burger, you had fries. I had onion rings. If you're trying to lose weight, why are you forcing yourself to eat? Because you have to have a certain amount of calories every single day, and I'm not getting enough calories in my diet. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it does. I have a buddy that's a bodybuilder, and you have to eat actually six times a day. If you're trying to build...
Well, I'm doing both because once you start building muscle, you start losing weight. I got you. And so if I wanted to not really be fit, I start. Oh, God. But what if you have muscles underneath fat? I do. Well, you got to lose the fat first. I'm doing it both in conjunction. So I really want to get stronger. Yep. You know, I want to get stronger and healthier. Stronger than you've ever been? Yeah. And you guys are so supportive that... It's just awesome coming to work and telling you all my stories. Well, you both can suck it. LLB. Yes, sir. What is that story you have with Motorhead? You're such a huge Motorhead fan. It's an ode to you guys since I was not exactly sure who Motorhead was. But apparently our friend, your boy, Lemmy from Motorhead. He doesn't want their fans to buy the extravagant new 15-box disc. We have Lemmy here. I don't understand what he's saying. I speak Lemmy, actually. What is that? What he said was, unfortunately, greed once again rears its yapping head. Wow. And he said, I would advise against it. And?
Oh, even for the most rabid. Your mole looks really good. He said it costs over $600. And he says he can't flipping believe that. His mole is disgusting. There's a documentary out about Lemmy, and I think it's called Lemmy, One Bad MF-er. Don't quote me on it, but I've seen it. This dude, he's in Motorhead, right? Forever. Still, today, if you wanted to find Lemmy right now, you go to the Rainbow Bar and Grill. He sits at the end on Sunset in Hollywood, sits at the end of the bar, drinks Jack and Cokes, and plays trivia. Like the little trivia thing? Wow. This documentary is beyond fascinating. You know me. I don't watch a lot of documentaries, unlike our host, Mikey. Greatest song ever on Guitar Hero. This one. Yeah, it's so hard to play. Give me a little juice on this. Dude, it doesn't get any better than Motorhead and Lemmy. Would you pay over $600? No, and that's what we need to talk about is these freaking box sets that came out. I saw that ABBA, they have a box set out. How much was that one, L.A.B.? That's in there, too. It went for about $500 for a nine-disc set. I bet the artists don't get any of this money at all. Well, he's saying they have no control over what was done with the early songs. How can that be? I don't know. How can that be?
Probably because you start out with a record label and you're just so excited to get signed that you don't really care about the rights to your songs or anything like that. They said, I was reading this article this morning, and they said that there's no new music on it on this Motorhead deal. So it's like if you want everything. Yeah, and I think that's pretty cool of him to come out and say, hey, don't buy this thing. There's nothing in there that you can't already have, that you don't already have. And it's just repackaging. He said, or one of them. Who's Juggernaut? I don't know. I think he's just a fan. Oh, Juggernaut. Oh, their fan. Oh, Juggernaut. That guy. M1 Juggernaut. Juggernaut said, except for the nice packaging, it's just a re, re, re, re, re, re, re, re, re, re, re, re, release. Isolate that. Yeah. And we have a call from M1 Cashbox. Are you there? Yeah, dude. How's it going? Good. How you doing, man? Keep it clean, Cashbox. Good. I have some friends that saw a motorhead last night in Seattle. Yeah. Yeah, we were having a little Motorhead conversation, and he said if you play Motorhead backwards, Lemmy's still S-faced. That is a true story. True story. That guy likes to drink some cocktails. And there's been a couple of girls that have woken up, and by a couple, I mean a couple hundred, that have woken up next to Lemmy and been like, oh, no. Oh, no. What did I do? Just let me kiss you. No? Let me get some.
Let me get a taste. Let me get the hell out of here because that mole just poked me in the nose. Let me be on top. All right. Well, when we come back, we are going. I just cricketed myself real good. Yeah, you cricketed yourself. Somebody's got to do it. When we come back, we have to take a break. When we come back, we're going to play Jay's parody again. If you missed it, it's about our friend Mikey who had surgery today. And Jay, in his usual sensitive self. Heartfelt. Heartfelt. Wrote a parody for Mikey. So you'll hear that when we come back. It's the Mikey Show. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Ready, set, go. Your three favorite words. That's why we built you the Chevy Cruze Eco. It's available to order and it offers an EPA estimated 42 miles per gallon highway. That's the best gas engine highway fuel economy in America. So you're good to go just about anywhere. Go to work. Go out and play.
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At Exxon and Mobile, their smart gasoline works at the molecular level to help remove deposits so your car runs cleaner. It's one more way they keep gasoline work harder for you. This report, it's brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Get low rates for good drivers and a quote at wawanisaus.com. Drive well, save big, get covered. Wow, lots of stuff happening here. We'll start you off on the 8 westbound at the 67, an accident. Then one on the 8 eastbound, El Cajon Boulevard, that off-ramp. Huge amount of slowing here as you travel on right over here on the... 805 northbound. Sorry, it's my map. It's wiggly sometimes. The 805 northbound, you've got to back up from the 52 east to about the 163 north between 15 and 23 miles an hour. And another accident, 5 north at West Mile of Cars Way. This report also brought to you by Pro Nutrients. It's a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not macho.
Woods. I've never realized how fat I was until I got on a skateboard. Oh, wow. Lauren. I like it. A guy that's off Facebook is cool. And Jay. Oh, the recliner's mandatory. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. We are almost done. Crazy. Time flies. We've got a best-of clip for you. It's a short one. It's like four or five minutes long. Which one is it? Yeah, it's Mikey. plays the Too Much Information pilot. Oh, this is great. This is such a good bit. And then we'll be back. We've got open phones at the end of the show. Please call in, say what's up. And we will also talk about some things that we have learned today. Should we replay the parody? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we need to replay that. There's no question. Should we do that now? Let's do that now. Let's do that now because our friend Mikey, our host,
Yes. Our velvety pipe toast is at home right now recovering because he got his gallbladder. This is going to make him feel so much better. Yes, of course. This is what I was going for. This is going to make him feel amazing. This is Jay's parody. It's a long intro. Long intro. At least he talks. Yeah. He has a new, Jay has a new bit I want to talk about after. Mikey's got to get an operation. Get him on the gurney. Cave him down, nerd. What do you know, too, over here? It's dad. Can I get some suction? We got a bleeder. His boobs are out of fashion. He's got some double D's. Mikey's strapped him all the way from the bathroom. They're busting out with the greatest of ease. The Dodgers take out a truckload of bats. It's like catching a whale, if you could imagine that. If one of his others and the others don't match, they're going to patch him up, patch him up, patch him up, patch him up. Hey, man, you got some double D's?
It's like chicken soup, isn't it? For the soul. Oh my goodness. So Jay has a new bit that we have to address. Okay. No longer does he just sing parodies. He does little plays. He played the nurse, the doctor, and then he sang the song. He did this in his parody that he did last week. There's Jay's phone. Yes, there it is. You're fired. I think it's when the long intro happens. He feels uncomfortable. Well, yeah, you got to fill. You can't leave people hanging. He does a little one-act play. So anyway, we're going to do this Best Stuff clip. We will be back. We do have open phones. Call in, and we will get to your calls, and then we will be getting out of here for the day. It's the Mikey Show. So I think that you will find this very interesting. This was an airline pilot for American. He was flying from Dallas to Jackson Hole, and his flight 2599 scheduled to depart Dallas at 510.
But it was delayed to 610. Now, this was a little bit irritating for the people that were on board the flight, but what was really kind of strange is the stuff that he was saying. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a recreation of what I said. Your captain speaking. Sorry for the delay, but we were delayed two hours coming from Vancouver. We seem to have a little problem. Our hydraulics are leaking, and it wouldn't really be a good idea if we tried to fly that way. Don't they need the hydraulics? Not a good idea at all, so I'm sure you'd all agree with that. So the technicians are going to come out and try to fix it, and then we'll be off the ground as soon as they do. Fix it. That's great. That's just what I wanted to hear. Get out of here. Here he comes. Also, flown into Jackson many times. Perfect. I used to fly there all the time, but I haven't flown there in two years. It's kind of a tricky approach. So before we take off, I'm going to have to watch a video. What? And it's required. And so I'm going to get off the jetway now, and I'll be back in 40 minutes. Wait, he's getting off the plane? He's getting off the plane to watch a video? He's getting off the plane. Three-minute baby or something? I'm getting off the plane. Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Unfortunately, they're unable to fix the hydraulics.
So we're going to have to change planes. Oh, for God. Come on. It's going to take about an hour to get the new plane out of the hangar and clean it. An hour? Get to the gate. But you may now de-board, and please check your departure signs because we don't know which gate the new plane is going to arrive at. You know, we had to go visit your freaking mother in Jackson Hole, didn't we? My mother. My God. I could be sitting home watching TV right now. We could be using your mother. Good Lord. Welcome back. Sorry about the long wait there, but the plane had to be cleaned. I don't just mean the seats needed to be cleaned. The restrooms were really smelly and the whole plane smelled foul. Is he really saying this? We certainly weren't going to let you get on board with it smelling like that. It's like a bit. It'd be a horrible way to fly. Are we on Southwest? Why is this guy doing bits? Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. I'm sure you're having a blast. We're going to have two mechanics out here. Okay. More mechanics. What they're going to do is take the door completely off and then put duct tape all around the edges. That's right, folks. Duct tape. And then they're going to put the door back on and then we'll keep it closed for our flight. That's good. They're going to duct tape a door. They're duct taping the door. We're going to be 30,000 feet in the air. Yeah, we've been delayed three and a half hours to go see your freaking mother. This is awesome. By the way, folks.
This really is what he said. Not making any of this up for comedy's sake. This is actually what Weird Ball, that's what I'm going to call him, Weird Ball. Captain Weird Ball. Captain Weird Ball. He actually said the duct tape. I thought you were just making that up. No, I'm not making any of it up. True statement. It's all true. Captain Weird Ball actually said all this stuff. Chances there were some bickering couples. Oh, my gosh. Babies. How come those pilots? They must have to pass a test to sound bored and no personality. Yeah, monotone. Ladies and gentlemen, freezing altitude, so if anybody wants to get out of their seat and stretch their legs. Excellent. Excellent. John, very good job. Next? Next. Oh, no, it's your plumber. No, it's not. It's your captain. I just want to hit that button again and again and again just to see how long it takes for you to lose your mind. I'm just going to keep hitting this button if you don't mind. That's the weirdest story. All that's true. I can't believe that. That gets me, too. Wow. It's a real story. It's a true story that actually happened. Let's take a couple calls. Let's go to M1 Chris in Oceanside. What's up, my man? Hey, what's up, you guys? How you doing? Doing good. Hey, real quick, LLB, congratulations. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, I almost forgot to say that.
That's okay. I just wanted to give a shout-out to Mikey. Yeah. Do you think he's listening right now? I don't know. I think probably. Probably. I don't want to make him bust a gut. But, hey, Mikey, love you if you're listening, buddy. He says he loves you, too, very much. He said, I love you, too. I heard a response. There's no response. He said, te amo. Te amo. Donde esta la zapateria? Y la biblioteca. It's identical, Mikey. It's identical. Give a little Garrett. Garrett. Garrett, you don't have to fire. Hey, as far as you're fired, but I'll hire you back as Shannon. Thanks for calling, brother. Thank you. Yeah, so this is what we learned today. We've got a few minutes left. So, number one, it is very difficult to host a show. Yes. It is not easy. I tried it for about 15 minutes, and I gave up. I gave it back to us. You want to come out of your skin the whole time. So thanks for sticking with us, those of you who did. And also, we also learned today that L-O-B cannot say the word carpool. Carpool. It's carpool. Carpool. Okay, in the carpool lane. Carpool. Carpool lane. What do you call that thing in your backyard you swim laps in? Pool. Right. Now put car in front of that. No. Yes. Say it with me. Carpool.
Carpool. Look at Jay. Carpool. But that's not right. There you go. Nice and done. Carpool. Nice and done. Carpool. You are such a hillbilly. I am not. Oh, my God. It's a carpool lane. We also learned that our friend Jay Isabel. Well, we didn't really learn this. Who's Jay Isabel? Did I say Jay Isabel? I am. My name. Jay Isabel is very insensitive. Yeah. Well, we didn't really learn that. Easy, Steve. We just had reaffirmation. Reaffirmation based on that parody. So, look, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Mikey may be back. He may not. Either way, we'll be here. If he's not back, we're going to be doing a hybrid show again. I like to call it the train wreck. What are you playing there? Captain? I don't know. You want to get your parody? So bad. One more time. You clown. Yeah, so we're not sure what's going to happen. We hope our little buddy's feeling better soon. Yeah. But like I said, either way, we will be back. We'll be here live. We will be live. 5.30 a.m. to 9 a.m. for your listening pleasure. That's right. You guys have anything else you want to talk about before we get out of here? I just want you to say the catchphrase because you didn't say it yesterday. Okay. Well, we will be back tomorrow at 5.30 to do it all again. The Mikey Show is out.
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