The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/23/12

0:27How's everybody? How you doing? I'm good. It's the Mikey Show. We're live. It's Thursday. And our friend Mike is out again today. He had... Scurvy. He had gallbladder surgery a couple of days ago. Pretty sure it was scurvy. And he is not doing too well. I didn't get a chance to talk to him yesterday, but I did get some texts. It's a lot of pain, and he's recuperating. Did anybody see that picture of him on our Facebook page? If you haven't seen it, go to Facebook.com slash, is it Mikey Show? Just Mikey Show. Just Mikey Show. And you can see a picture of our friend Mike and his very bulbous head. Yes. With a fat lip. Fat lip. Strange cat. That, by the way, he got his fat lip from biting down on a tortilla, and I guess he missed. Tortilla chip. I think it's just a tortilla. He missed and bit his own lip. He bit his lip. No, I think it's just a tortilla. Enchilada. I think it's just a tortilla. Churro. Just a tortilla, I think. Which, you know, you think about all the years of practice that guy has eating tortillas, you'd think that it would be, like, seamless. Right. You know? He's got skills. I've seen him. He's got mad skills. Guy can eat. So we're going to be doing the hybrid show again today. I'm Woodsy.

1:49I am 36 years old. I do sports and, you know, really not much else. I pick the music for the show. That's one other thing that I do. I put together the news sheet every morning. That's part of my job responsibility. Our assistant producer to my left, the very foxy LOB, Lauren O'Brien, newly engaged Lauren O'Brien. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. She's looking good. And Jay asked her this morning, she has a little scratch on her face. Now, I don't know if that's from. Rough lovemaking or if that's from possibly the... I slept alone. It's a big giant ring. The ring. Probably. I think the ring got you. No, I don't see it. Because you don't have dogs or cats. No, I slept in it last night. Could it have been from your niece? Nope. No? Okay. No, I didn't see her yesterday. Well, you have a little scratch on your face. Perfect. I'm worried about you. Probably that because I like to sleep with my arms up over my head sometimes. Just flailing about. Weird. Oh, wait. Should we go over all my job duties? Oh, yeah. Let's go over your job duties. Okay. So I have to come in and put the schedule together. She does the schedule. In the morning and then hand the sheet to Mike every break. And print some stuff. Yes. Then I edit the audio for the podcast. Correct. You have to look good every morning. No, I don't do that. You dust? No. You vacuum? Nope.

3:05She cooks. It's going to be Jay's bit the entire day. You cook. Just ball breaking. Just. You cook for everybody. Just interrupting what people were going to say with bits. With bits. So. What else you do? We'll just go on. All right. Well, our executive producer is Jay Isbell. He's 48 years old. He's very old and perverted. He's got. He's got. He's kind of turning into the silver fox a little bit. He's got some gray on each side and down below, more than likely. More than likely. He's been using Ovation, and I will say his freaking hair looks better than it did. And Jay told me last week he loves Ovation because he goes wood. All you need is a little tiny bit. He goes, just a little bit. This is going to last me for two years. It's going to last forever. I'm like watching it. I don't know how expensive it is. Is it expensive? But I'm watching it like it's gold. I'm putting a little dot on my hand. And it lathers up real good. It's very reasonably priced considering it lasts me for like six months at a time. And that will last him for two and a half years. So Jay's our executive producer. Jay loads all the audio for this show.

4:15He is the one that gets to bully Mike when Mike gets out of line. Jay is kind of the enforcer of the group. He wrote on his Facebook yesterday, because he said, I also had my gallbladder out. And he said, well, tell Jay it really hurts. Please tell Jay it hurts. Because Jay doesn't have that sensitive bone in his body. The compassion. Nice Bieber. It's so weird watching Jay sitting in front of me because when he plays the clips, he mouths them. He wrote a parody yesterday, and he mouthed the entire parody, and it creeps me out so bad. I don't even know. I don't even know I do it. He moves his mouth. Like this. And he says, nice beaver. Like a ventriloquist doll. It's one of the greatest things ever. If you've never gotten to see it live, you need to. So like I said, we are here. Mikey is out today. Hopefully he will be back soon. So we just, you know, this is our 5.30 break. We're on 5.30 to 9 now. We switched up our times a little bit this year. Last year we were 6 to 10. Now we're 5.30 to 9.

5:22I think it gives us a much tighter show when Mikey's here. I think we're flailing around a little bit without him. But, hey, we're here. We're doing the best we can. Give us a call. Call and visit. Our friend Adam, our Mexican-American friend, is in their screening phones. Adam is our promotion director. And he's doing this on the interim while we figure out who we're going to put in this position. Turn his mic on. What's up, dude? I said this is the last day. Is this the last time? Poor Adam. You do not like getting up early, do you? Nope. It sucks. Well, I do, but I don't like having to deal with you animals at 5.30 in the morning. Well, you shouldn't drink all night. That's a true statement. Tell me how to live. So, when you get done here at 9, do you have to go work a full day? Yeah. Oh, that sucks. Dealing with the animals and sales. We easy are out of here by 10. I don't know if you know that. No, I do. Yeah. Foreign out the door. Oh, Jay turned his mic off. Jay's got mic control over Adam. We are never out of here by 10. I don't know what show you're talking about. I usually am, but... Throw your backpack on. Throw my backpack on, I hit the gym. Easy backpack. Easy backpack. Yeah, if you missed that story, Jay and I got into an argument a couple weeks ago. A good one. Like cursing, screaming at each other. And Jay goes, well...

6:35You're the first one out the door. And he takes my backpack and he puts it on and he goes, hey, look, look who I am. I'm wood. I'm leaving. I've never been so mad in my life. Now every time you put your backpack on, I'm like, there he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. Son of a bitch. I swear. Oh, man. We got a caller on the line, M1 Bear from Tierra Santa. Good morning, Mikey Show. Mine is Mikey. Good morning. Hey, so it's baseball season. It is. My little son loves baseball. So we were curious if we might be able to catch one of your semi-professional baseball games. Yeah, there are tickets still available. I play, for those of you that don't know, I play in the Premier Baseball League. It's an adult men's league. And I stunk. I do not stink. Where people pay dues to play. Yep. I don't know what you're talking about. We are the Bangin' Burgers Bruins. We do not pay a dime.

7:33which is awesome. We have a great sponsor. But, yeah, what I'll do, are you on Facebook? Yes, sir. I will post where our game, I usually post where our games are every week, so if people want to come out, you know, first come, first serve kind of basis. But there's always, pretty much everyone gets served because there's never a shortage of seats. Well, so far, buddy, there's plenty of seats. Yeah. I recommend bringing your own chair. They're a little more comfortable than the benches at some of the high schools we play at. And your own food and drinks because they don't serve anything there. Bring your own food and drink as well. But, yeah, if you want to bring your son out, that would be awesome. It would be good to hang out. So I'll post it on Facebook. See you there then. All right, buddy. Thanks for calling. Yeah, big game this weekend. Bangin' Burgers Bruins are 2-0. Ah. You are. Thank goodness. I hadn't been following up. I lost track of you guys. Well, we got a good squad. There was nowhere to read about it. Well, there is. If you go to Facebook.com, there's actually a group for the Bangin' Burgers Bruins. Is it a private group? It may be. Oh, I believe I was deleted to that. I mean, I was added to that, and I deleted it. That's very sweet. Can you place a bet in Vegas on this? No, but you can bet with your friends.

8:46So, like, if you were there and L.O.B. was there and you're like, I bet Woods gets a hit. I bet he does that. I'm not there. So you bet each other. There's no house. No, there's no house. I mean, gambling is illegal in California. Right. But what if we went to Vegas is what Jay is saying. Oh, if you went to Vegas? No, I don't think you could. They're not real dialed in on the Premier Baseball League yet. So you guys are in spring training or you're like. No, we're in the season. This is the season. We've already had our spring training. Ah. Yeah. Where did you go for spring training? Here in San Diego. Oh. Yeah, we did it here. I actually did mine. My wife threw me some batting practice in the backyard. I went to the gym. Okay. So I'm geared up, ready to go. Sounds like a good time. Oh, boy. It's so fun to come to work. L.O.B. had a little... This was interesting. I read something about it on your Facebook last night. You had a comedy gig. I did. But it wasn't really a gig. It was a gig. Was there an audience? Yeah, you could say that. There was some audience. It was mostly comics. Was it the size of the audience of people that comes to the Bang & Burgers Bruins game? Oh, it was bigger than that. Oh, it was? Okay. There was more than seven people there. That's true. Wow. Tell me about it. It was a contest. So they're doing a round at Winston's in Ocean Beach. A couple of the venues here do that. They'll have a contest. And there's a prize at the end, like a cash prize at the end. This is a $300 prize. Oh, wow. And the other one that I'm in where I've made it to, you know, I've advanced two rounds.

10:09$1,000 prize. Wow. So last night I did advance. There was seven comics and four went forward. So I got, it's 75% audience vote, 25% judges vote. So you're in the final four in one competition. How many people are? There's several rounds though. So I made it to the next round and then I'll go against people who had also advanced from the first round. Yeah. And then when you get to the, you know, it just gets tighter and tighter. Yes. That's different. Yeah, so last night, there is a local fixture slash, I guess you would call him a comedian, in Ocean Beach named Hermit Dave and or Sacrilegious Dave. He is got to be maybe in his 70s. Wow. Jay's age. Yeah, Jay, probably a friend of yours. He stands at about five feet tall. So he's Mikey's height. Yeah. Yes. Actually, he's taller. Taller than Mikey. And he was giving like a commentary afterwards of like how he thought everyone did, what he liked and didn't like about everyone. He liked my Mardi Gras joke and he liked how I tied it back to the Catholic Church. He also said that I would be able to go far in the competition because of my little man in the boat. I know what that is. Is that what I think it is? That's what you think it is. Holy cow. Yep. Nice boat.

11:33And then he gave me some pointers. It's a yacht. It's a yacht. It's luxurious. It's very cush. He gave me some pointers on how to love make publicly on the microphone. This guy sounds like somebody that I would want to meet. Oh, he got the biggest laugh of the night. That's hysterical. Yes. Man in the boat. Little man in the boat. Row, row, row that boat. Crap. Next time I'm on stage, I might row the boat. You should row the boat. You will go a long ways if you row that boat. Mikey just fell out of his bed. It just means that I'll dance. It just means I'll dance. I'll rock the boat. So when's the next round? I don't know. You don't know yet? No. All right. Sometime maybe in March. I don't know. Okay. We had one M1 out there. M1, Romaine Stamos. He was out there. He's a good dude. Voted for me. Good for you. Yeah. Well, you know, I asked you this morning, why didn't you talk about it yesterday? So let everybody know when your next one is. Oh, gosh. When you know. Oh, I know my next gig. When's your next gig? March 6th at the Belly Up. March 6th at the Belly Up. L.O.B. is a stand-up comedian. Comedienne or comedian. And she's going to row her boat on stage. And that is so creepy, Jay. That's so creepy. That's your friend. That is your friend. I'm going to rock to the boat. I'm going to row the boat. Merrily, merrily, merrily. Man. Gently down the stream. How else could you do it?

12:54Rough. Rough waters. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Violently. Get control, Woods. You have to get control. Turbulently. You've got to grab the reins, and you've got to pull them in. Gently down the stream, if you know what I mean. It's a good place to talk about the Dalai Lama. What's a Dami Lama? What is a Dami Lama? No, a Dali Lama. Didn't it sell out yesterday? You tell me. Yeah. Yeah, I think tickets were on sale yesterday, and I believe it sold out. I forgot. Yeah, LLB's got the story. They did. Okay, so he's going to speak in San Diego, and they sold out in less than an hour. So I guess the UCSD box office, the webpage crashed. Wow. Does he speak? Yeah. What do you mean? Hold on. Before you attack me, both of you, before you attack me, I have a few points to make. Okay. Number one, I don't know what it is. I know who he is. Yes, you do. I know who he is. His holiness. Yes. Yeah, okay. I don't know why people go see him.

13:53I really don't. Yes, you do. No, I don't. He's like the Pope. Yes, of Buddhism. Of Buddhism. Okay, so he's the head of Buddhism? Yeah. Yeah, the head guru. They believe that he's the reincarnation of all these other head spiritual leaders before him. His holiness. So this is a Buddhist convention? No, it's not a convention you're going to hear him speak. He's also like a humanitarian. Okay. He does a lot of work. I know that they do the Tibetan Freedom Festival. Yes. That the Beastie Boys are very involved in, the Chili Peppers. They go and they do that to help out people in Nepal. Is that right? No, I don't know. Man, you can't just start making things up. Yeah, I thought that's what it was for, in helping the monks and whatnot. So is he a monk? He's a guru. I don't know if you would necessarily call him a monk. Well, all I know is that people freak out when the Dalai Lama is coming to town. He's the Dalai freaking Lama. Why do you need an explanation? It's all in the name. Why are you quizzing us on what his credentials are? I'm not quizzing you. I'm not quizzing you. I'm really not. Because you guys are in. I'm not out. I'm just not in. Okay. Derek Jeter comes to San Diego to speak. I'll wait in line for tickets. Well, he's a baseball player. Right. That's what I'm into. I'm not a Buddhist, so.

15:11Well, you don't have to be a Buddhist to appreciate. You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate what the priest has to say. The Pope? I mean, the Pope. Or the priest. Or the priest. Yeah. Yeah, so it's sold out. He's got, how many days is he here? Three. Well, there's two days, but three events, and they all sold out. If somebody can explain it to me without... What do you mean? Without going crazy. I don't need your videos. I don't... I just want to know, like... What the big deal is. We just explained it to you. I'm not sold. I'm not convinced on why it's a big deal. Why are you convinced that the Pope is important? Because he's the head of the Catholic Church. Okay. And he runs. Why does that make him important? He runs the Vatican. Because the Catholic Church is massive. And I know Buddhism is massive. Yeah. Which is why I get it. If there's a bunch of Buddhists down there in line waiting to go see them. I get that. There's probably more Buddhists in the world. But Jim from Solana Beach that works as a mechanic. I'm like, Jim. Why are you going to go see the Dalai Lama? He's a Buddhist. If he is, I get it. I don't understand. I'm ignorant. I had a Buddha hanging on my wall. I'm not Buddha. I have a little Buddha in my house. We have a Buddha fountain. A big fat Buddha. You know why I bought it? Because it's cool. And I have a fat belly myself. It looks like me. Spiritual enlightenment.

16:23Take yourself. I'm all about it. I'm all about it. So the Dalai Lama is coming. I didn't get tickets. April 18th and 19th. And if you scalp tickets to go see the Dalai Lama, you are a monster. You are in fact. You have to sell them at face value. You have to sell them at face value if you can't go. Sell them to me. If you list them on Craigslist. For a profit, you're a monster. You're a monster. You better not profit. If you're standing out in front with a cardboard sign that says, I got tickets, then you're a monster. I think you always say, I need tickets. Because then they say, oh, you need tickets? I'm going to go out there and say, I need tickets. And be like, how do you want to be reincarnated? I'm just, I saw a lot about it on Facebook. And I just got me, you know, it was like, what's that bit Arsenio did? Things that make you go, hmm. I was scratching my head. I go. Huh. Everyone's real. How do you not? Why do you follow him on Twitter? Just because I think it's interesting. You know, I do it, to be honest with you. 100% transparent because everybody else does. I would love to be reincarnated. How bad? I think it would be. Come back with everything you know. Yes. It'd be incredible. I would want to be reincarnated as a dog. I would love to be a dog in my next life. I think it would be phenomenal.

17:33Phenomenal. Why? Because you would just be trapped in your owner's house. You never get to go on a walk. Yeah, I just get loved on constantly. You don't have the freedom. You got to move on somebody else's schedule. I love it. I would love it. All I would want is just love and get my belly rubbed. I want to come back as a hawk. Yeah, I'd rather be a bird than a dog. Predator bird. People just shooting at you real good. Nobody shoots a hawk. As far as you know. As far as you know. People shoot at dogs, too. Jay, that's true. Jay has a son that's 19 years old. His name is Finnegan. Right. And he is, I am very envious of Finnegan. He is in Europe. Yeah, he's traveling, right? He's in London. And he's been Skyping me. And every time he Skypes me, he's Skyping me from a pub. Oh, my gosh. Now. An SOB. Is he on his laptop? He's got it on his phone. He's got it on his phone. So his phone works over there? Well. Most of the places have Wi-Fi, so he can Skype in. So that's why he Skyped me from the pub. And usually he's got his beer in front of him. And he was playing in a trivia contest that they won. They won. He's got big friends now that he's made over there. And I don't know if he won, but he was drinking. I thought it was like 2 o'clock, and I was like, what are you doing in a pub? But the time is so different over there. He can be in a pub at 2 in the afternoon.

18:52Come on, Jay. He said they walked through London yesterday. It was raining and they walked through London. Oh, my gosh. I'm so jealous. I couldn't be more envious of somebody. I really couldn't. Minimum two months. He's there with one friend. They had worked. They saved up their dough. And they're going to how many countries? 22 countries? Oh, my gosh. As a URL pass. It makes me physically sick that I can't do that. I know. And look, I'm married. I love my wife so much. But I don't want to go do that with my wife. I don't want to go do 22 countries in two months with my wife. Because we'd murder each other. And you were too old. Like, we need everything now. You're out of your mind. No, dude. Everything now has to be a nice hotel. I can't stay in a hostel like I would have when I was 19. Our plan is once we have time, Kim and I are going to go rent a VW, and we're just going to drive. Just go the whole time, just camping out. Now, listen, I would do that here in the States. I would do that here. I would drive cross-country with Jamie, my wife, no problem. In Europe, with all the weird stuff, like I don't know anything, I'm not familiar with the language, the culture, that would make me uncomfortable. Ah, I can't wait. Yeah, I'm really jealous. And you definitely do have different standards when you're not 19.

20:10When you're 19, you sleep where you fall. He's 20 tomorrow. He's 20 tomorrow. 20 tomorrow. His birthday there. Oh, my gosh. I'm jealous. So he's going to be in London for how long? At least two months. Well, he's leaving today. He leaves today. Where are they going? You know, I don't even know. He said he got his pass and then his phone kind of staticked out. And I was like, all right. Is he keeping a journal or anything? Oh, yeah. That's one thing I said. I thought he was going to give me a hard time when I said it. He's like, you've got to keep a journal. He's like, what are you, silly? Of course I already have it. So he's writing down everything because he won't remember most of it because he's going to be drunk. What's the drinking age over there? 18. Is it 18? Gosh darn, those Europeans know how to do it, don't they? Well, why wouldn't it be? It's stupid. They do it right. What an advanced difference between Jasper and Finn's 20, Jasper's 9. Jasper comes up to me yesterday and he's standing up front in the sunshine and he goes, look, Dad. I was like, what? Yeah, I think he has something on his face. He goes, look, I got a mustache. Oh, he's got the little tiniest peach fuzz across his upper lip. He's like, the full on mustache, dad. It's a rite of passage for men. I did not get hair on my body till I was about 16. And I remember that summer between 15 and 16. I went home to Texas because we were living in Connecticut. All my friends were there.

21:24And I'll never forget it. We were jumping on the trampoline. My buddy took his shirt off, and he had hair under his arm. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Mine, I look like a four-year-old little kid. Finn was never hairy until he got older, but I was a hairy little. Like, sixth grade, I had a full-on mustache, dirt mustache. You are such a pervert. And now Jasper's getting his peach fuzz mustache on. He's nine. He's a hairy little burger. I remember being about that age, and all I wanted was hair. Yeah. And I used to shave with a butter knife. I used to get a butter knife, and I'd lather up. Oh, my gosh. And I'd take that butter knife in there, and... Because I wanted to shave. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. The flat end of it, I hope? No, the sharp end. Oh, my gosh. The serrated end. That's not going to hurt you. My mom took Ajax and tried to wash my mustache off when I was a six-year-old. She said, because your face is so dirty, it won't come... She's Ajax. And, like, she's scrubbing on it, and I'm like, Mom, that's a mustache. That's a mustache. You're a porn star. What's a mustache? It's a mustache. Say it the way that you said it. Oh, my God. We have to break, don't we? Yes, we do. Holy cow. Oh, my God. That is your friend, Adam. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. When we come back, we will be starting the show. Yes. The Michael Show. We have a best of bit.

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27:56Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-919-5766. 1-800-919-5766. San Diego's number one volume Subaru dealer just got even better. Kearney Mesa Subaru has opened a brand new showroom in the heart of San Diego. We're celebrating by inviting you to our grand opening event. In honor of our new showroom, the factory has sent us a special shipment of top-selling Subarus. This means we're making deals so you can stay big. Lease a new 2012 Subaru. Forrestor 2.5X for just $199 per month, plus tax. It's an automatic with roof rails, alloy wheels, and Bluetooth, all for just $199 per month. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru brand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. Sunroad Automotive, serving San Diego for 35 years. 2012 Force releases month. This report is brought to you by National University. Join San Diego leaders at the National University Center for Performance Psychology Conference. It's February 23rd and 24th. Learn more at centerforperformancepsychology.org.

29:20Freeways look pretty good. A little bit of a problem here. It's not bad. There was an accident on the 5 northbound Manchester Avenue off-ramp. Looks like tow trucks are on the way, but I don't see any backup whatsoever around it. A little slowing, too, on the 8 westbound Lake Jennings Park Road, about 38 miles an hour. This report brought to you also by Children's Advil. Nothing brings your child's fever down faster or keeps it down longer. Choose Children's Advil Relief. You can trust. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. Mikey had surgery on, what, Tuesday? And he had gallbladder surgery. And he is recovering, and we all wish him well. And he was kind enough to let us come in here and play some best-of clips, but also do some news and sports, do some funny bits. And it's been fun. We wish him well with that Botox. And his gallbladder. He got his gallbladder. He's pretty sure it's just Botox. He got his gallbladder. I don't think he would need to be out of work. Well, it was a lot of Botox. It is.

31:14Just the gallbladder, I think. A lot of extra skin. Scraged it all out. I think they used an iron. I'm Woodsy. I'm the sports guy. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She is 31 years of age. Newly engaged. A very foxy young man named Matt. Off the market. Very foxy. Great body that guy has. Oh, my gosh. Does he work out a lot? Yeah. God, I'm working out. I look nothing like that guy. He's been doing it consistently for a long time. I've been doing it consistently for about three months. Two months. I will. Talk to me about a year. I will. Go on. She'd suck it. And our old perverted producer is Jay. He is 48 years old. Salt and peppered up real good. All over. Oh, wow. If you are an M1, that means you're a Mikey show listener. You listen exclusively to the Mikey show. When you call in, you get to the point. You don't cuss. I'm missing something. Turn the radio. Turn the radio down. Yeah, because we don't want to hear your feedback. And you got to. You know, turn your friends on to the Mikey Show. Absolutely. Your friends, your family, everybody at your office. Just really be a prophet for the Mikey Show. Get out there and spread the word. A prophet. A prophet. It's how apropos. Yeah, Mikey, like I said, is out. We don't know if he'll be back tomorrow. We just don't know. Or not. We just don't know.

32:34Mike, if you're listening and you feel like calling in, everybody would love to hear those velvety pipes of yours. You know, if you're, you may be sitting down to breakfast right now. Clearly. Clearly. Give us a call. Our number is 570-1949. I don't know if you knew that, Mike. If you're listening, Mike. You can call us right now. Or anyone. Or anyone. Yeah, we have open phones at the beginning of the show. The word of the day today is vintage, which is what Jay is. Vintage is the word of the day. You're going to be listening for me to say that between now and 9 o'clock. What is the prize today, Jay, for word of the day? It is fun cards to SeaWorld that are good for all of 2012. Check out the all-new interactive and immerse turtle wreath exhibit. Those are fun cards. Immersive. Immersive. It's pretty BA, as in badass. You've been there. Uh-huh. I've never, I've yet to go to SeaWorld. I have. It's good. And you know what's funny is I'm looking at the schedule of stuff to do, and I mentioned when I introduced myself, I am the sports guy on the Mikey Show. I have no sports. What? And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because I'm unprepared. Wow. And that's just me being honest. I came in.

33:49I have to do, I have to get ready to do this part of this job. Didn't even look at sports. Oh, you know, the Knicks are taking on the heat tonight at seven. Is that right? Yeah. Fill me in. I have two stories. Yeah. For you. I just saw it on the TV. Oh yeah. LeBron James is averaging 27.6 points per game. Look, it's my fault. I'm entitled to screw up every now and then. I did. I screwed up. They just got, they tipped over 500. Okay. With the win last night. Jeremy Lin. Yes, Jeremy Lin. And also the Aztecs, our very own SDSU Aztecs. Did they win last night? Yes, they did against Wyoming. Yeah, that was a must win for them. That was a must win because they had lost three in a row. And they're one of those teams. We're getting towards the end of February. And you know what that means. It means March Madness is coming. Wow. And yeah, March Madness is... I'm not a big college basketball fan, but that is fun. We do brackets here on the Mikey Show. Jay actually won the first year. He picked some of these random upsets, and Jay actually won. March Madness is coming. San Diego State, we want them to be in there because they're local boys. We want to see them in there. But it doesn't look – they call them a bubble team.

35:01They're kind of on the bubble. So we'll see. They have their conference tournament later on in the month. And, you know, if they win that, they're in. They got to get some wins. They got to get some wins. So there you go. Thank you to my teammates for picking me up. I will be more prepared the next time we do sports. So I'll tell you that. Last night was the Republican debate. So for me, couldn't be less interested. I could be less interested than I am. You could be less interested. I'm not super interested, but I could be less. I've been less interested about things. They scare me. Why? Just all the stuff they have to say. Yeah, the candidates. I have a legitimate question. Okay, I'm ready. Actually, this is an honest question. Why don't they just do one big debate with all the issues? Why do they have to do it every... What are they going to talk about in Arizona that they didn't talk about in New Hampshire? What are they going to talk about in Iowa that they didn't talk about in Florida? Isn't it all the same? Because I think they're... They're trying to get out there and get in front of people at each of the debates. No, I totally get that, and I'm cool with campaign stops and saying, Hi, I'm Rick Santorum. How are you? You know, blah, blah, blah, and shaking hands and kissing babies and doing their bit. But I listen to the debates, and you know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like eighth grade girls catfighting. Oh, they are, for sure. We actually have some audio from the debates last night. Ron Paul, who is a big player in San Diego.

36:23I know that I personally get a lot of videos of people trying to convert me to the Ron Paul train. I don't. I get a lot of emails about Ron Paul. Woods, you need to be in on Ron Paul. Ron Paul's your guy. Ron Paul's not my guy. I don't want to see your videos. I think he must be your guy. But he's not. You have a shirt. I get it all the time. I think that maybe there's a calling for you. Maybe you should go. get out there and make a bed sheet that says... Make a bed sheet. And hang it on an overpass. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, well, Ron Paul last night, I will hand him this. The guy is about as direct as he gets. They asked him about calling Rick Santorum a fake. Congressman Paul, you've questioned the conservative, fiscal conservative credentials of all these gentlemen, but particularly this week, Senator Santorum, you have a new television ad that labels him a fake. Why? Because he's a fake. Wow. You hear Rick Centauri. Unreal. Unreal, Ron. That's outstanding. Yeah. Okay, maybe I'm a little bit in on Ron Paul. I like honesty in those guys. You're the biggest Ron Paul fan I've ever met. You're the biggest Newt Gingrich fan I've ever met. No, I don't have any videos or emails in my inbox about Newt Gingrich. I get it all the time. You seem like a Ron Paul kind of guy. Why is that? I don't know. I don't either. I know nothing about politics. He's in on marijuana, which, of course, we all know you are.

37:46I'm not in on marijuana. Jay's in on marijuana. Jay. Why are you lying? Why did you just give me that look like, shut up? Yeah. Jay, are you on Facebook again? No. What are you doing over there already? You're not conversing with us. I have the audio ready. It's cool. Just bobbing up and down in the ocean. The Indian Ocean just bobbing. Hey, I got a job over here. Jay, will you help us? Jay's in a rowboat just eating a sandwich. I'm sorry. Come on, Jay. We're trying to get the audio ready for the next piece. The next piece is a clip where somebody had called in and asked them to describe themselves using only one word. Gentlemen, we have a question here from CNNPolitics.com. Without caveats or explanations, please define yourself using one word and one word only. Congressman Paul? Consistent. That's a good word. I like that. Senator Santorum. Courage. Governor. Resolute. Mr. Speaker. Philander. Shouldn't he even say courageous? Cheerful. That's your boy Newt Gingrich. That's what you want. Hey, our president's really great, super cheerful. He's very congenial. If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Me? Yes. Spirited. LB? Persistent.

39:15Oh, that is a good word for her. Yeah, it is. I am honest. Yes. I would say brutal. Brutally. Brutal honesty. Or I could say direct. Yes, direct. Mary, gosh, you're so... You're too direct. I have too direct. You're so direct. You are too freaking direct. You're a director. Oh, my God. Also, last night was American Idol. And if you heard a couple weeks ago, Mikey and I were talking about how both of our wives really love American Idol. My wife is obsessed with American Idol. And I promise her, yes, babe, I will watch American Idol with you. Name three judges from American Idol. Phenomenal timing. Sorry, Lauren. Sorry. I've watched one. I've watched one episode of American Idol. It was the San Diego one. Ah. Your level of commitment is amazing. It really is. It really is. But last night, so apparently there's a guy on American Idol. His name is Adam Brock. And a few M1s have said, hey Woods, you're identical Adam Brock. You look just like, first of all, this guy looks like a clown. Number one. Does he have like red curly hair and a red nose? No, he has a beard. Oh. He has a full beard and he wears glasses. I have no beard.

40:29And I don't wear glasses anymore. You used to wear glasses before you went to Dr. Sandy. Isn't Jamie your beard? I used to wear glasses, but then I went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Why? They're the best eye and laser medical center in the county. No, this guy looks nothing like me. But so many people told me that he does, but he doesn't. This is him last night. Very dramatic moment. I'm going to set it up for you. Very dramatic moment. He gives a performance, and then they're going to leave you hanging. as to whether he's going to come back or not. But listen to this little bee. Name three judges from the American Idol. Let's just go to the audio. How are you feeling today, man? Emotional? Emotional. Look at that guy. That's so freaky. How do you think that guy did here? I think that guy tried to sing his heart out every time he stepped on the stage. Is this your dream? Is this what you really want?

41:39I'm sorry, man. It's okay. I was looking at my daughter. She loves us. In a picture backstage. One of my closest friends asked me, if time and money and resources weren't an option, if you took those out of the equation, what would you do? But my answer is always to sing. Get down. It's the most complex thing to sum up in three words. I have to sing. Oh, boy. Oh, that's four words. It's where my joy comes from. It's how I know that God blessed me. I finally found somebody that embarrassed themselves more on national television than I did. Finally. It took a while. It took a long time. Adam Brock, I want to thank you for the pressures off me. Because you... Because I was on Wipeout and broke my ankle in the last round. You ragdolled. I ragdolled. We would have won 50 grand. We were so close. Son of a bitch, we were close. I knew I recognized you. Yes. Amen.

42:47We believed in you. If we didn't, you wouldn't have gotten this far. Right. But we didn't think when you were singing, you believed in you. It's hard to say goodbye at this point in the game. Our decision for you definitely is not unanimous, but it is what it is. You know, the majority always rules, so... This is the moment, the moment of truth. My daughter, she loves it when I sing to her. Wake up then. I'll be putting her to bed. And she'll say, Daddy, what are you singing? I'll just sing. So is that, I thought that the American people voted on who went next. They do. So what did he say about the judges made a decision? I think because they get to, I don't know. I think they whittle it down. They whittle it down to the last round, I think.

43:52And then people call in and stuff. I'm not an expert on American Idol. My wife would definitely be able to answer that question. Or most ladies out there that watch that show. But yeah, so we have a best of clip for you we're going to do. Jaybird, which one is this one again? This is the Nell Gun Stories. The Nell Gun Story. Who's Nell? Nell Gun Stories. No, no. What's a Nell Gun? Yeah, what is a Nell Gun? Nell Gun. There you go. Wow, you guys. Picky. This is the nail gun stories. I'm not going to be listening to this because it makes me sick to my stomach, but here it is. Feast on it. M1IB there from IB. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Mikey, what's up, man? Not too much, dude. You shot yourself with a nail gun. Yeah, yeah. I have. I've been a carpenter for like 10 years, so it kind of comes with the trade, I guess, somewhat. If you shoot yourself with one with the safety on it, however, then it's kind of an idiotic thing to do. But when you do production carpentry, the... Quickest way to get nails in is to pull the safeties off your guns. Right. Not the safest way, but it gets the job done. So sometimes you get a little ahead of yourself. I've done it with a finish nailer where I got myself an additional fingernail because I had a 16-gauge finish nail go through my finger. And the fun part is figuring out how you're going to pull it out. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. What finger? Index, pointer, finger, main one.

45:17Left-hand? Yeah. No, actually it was right-hand because I'm left-handed. Oh, my God. Okay, so you're left-handed. You accidentally nail-gunned your right-hand. Yeah, I was doing door trim. I used to do production. I built a bunch of the houses in Marietta. It used to be fields and everything up there. Manifete Temecula was part of the whole KB Home Cracker Jack boxes going up there. And so at what point of your finger did the nail go through? It went around the bone, but it went right next to where my cuticle is, like right where the fingernail, right on the side of it. It hurts the most. I was doing some door trim, like casing around the door, but I pulled my hand back out and kind of stared at it for a second. Okay, so that was my question. My question is, when it happens, you know how sometimes when you injure yourself really bad, you can't feel it? Yeah, it's a razor cut, like a razor blade. You don't feel a razor blade cut until you look at the blood. So when you did it, did you not feel it for a minute? No, just for a second. But it was, you know, the shock. And then you start feeling the warm swelling of the finger.

46:33You either pull it out and wrap it up and get back to work or stare at it and let it hurt a lot worse. How did you... I ended up wrapping it up, but I got a better one for you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you tell me. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I still got to know about this one. How did you get out of it? Just yanked it out and wrapped it up. My goodness. It wasn't a framing nail, dude. It was just the little ones that hold... You're lucky. Those were the brad nail. Oh, my gosh. The brad wire nail. Oh, my gosh. One injury I will never have to worry about. And there was a guy using a framing nailer, and he was putting up joists. He was putting up, like, a load-bearing beam in the center of one building a house. He sent one straight through the middle of his hand into the beam. and stood there screaming until an ambulance could get there because nobody's going to try to grab some pliers and pull a sitting nail out of this dude's hand. So he stood there and screamed for about a good hour. Did he ask anybody to do it? Did he ask anybody to do it? Well, everybody was kind of just in shock. And then the superintendents came and the people that were working in the house were kind of cleared out, you know, and whatnot. And the job got quiet for about an hour. Better to just cut the head off a nail and pull it all through.

47:46Hey, how long did it take for it to heal on you? On me? Well, I still feel it, man. If I bang it a little bit, you know, it feels like a little sore spot. How long ago did you do it? Five years, six years. Wow. Filthy, filthy, filthy. Hey, dude, thanks for the call. That was great. I know a guy, not the Dom that you know, not my neighbor Dom, but I know another guy named Dom that was a roofer and used a nail gun. Got himself in the knee. It was one of the most fascinating x-rays I've ever seen. He saved the x-ray. And you can see this giant 16-penny nail in his knee. It was unbelievable. In the patella? I don't know what a patella from a... It's the kneecap. That's a mushroom, right? You can make like a whole... Portobello. Yeah. You can make like a whole sandwich out of it. Patella sandwich.

48:47Yeah, like a potato sandwich. No, it's a kneecap. Was it in the kneecap, in the bone? I think, yeah. But it went in between. Oh, for God's sakes. You're fine. Oh, why? You're fine. Why? Let's see. M1 Denise, are you there? Yes, I am. Denise from Oceanside. How are you guys doing? Good. I just posted six photos of my husband shooting himself in the hand a couple years ago on your Facebook page. It's all the page. Facebook. Go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Again, Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. M-I-K-E-Y. And like our page. Oh. Oh. It's titled Mike's Accident. That's my husband's name, Mike. Oh. My, he looks so calm. How did he do it? How did he do it? How did he do it? We were helping, he was helping his dad build a shed, and he was holding a 2x4 with his left hand and holding the gun with his right hand, and when he shot the nail, the wood splintered and went right through his two fingers. You can, she's got, she's got the most...

50:01Graphic photographs. Horrendous. On mikeyshow.com, excuse me, facebook.com slash mikeyshow. Yeah. My goodness. And the x-ray ones are there, too. What's that? It shows the x-ray one. I have the x-ray photos of the x-ray, too. You can see it totally missed the bone, but it pushed the top of the top bone in the finger. Pushed it to the side. How's your grundle woods? It hurts. It hurts so bad. It's sharp. The first finger that it went through, he actually cut the scan and got the nail out. That's a man. That's a man's job. It's a man's job. It's a man's work. Come on in. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for the call. Hillary, you got a story? I do. My husband was in our old house. Was we were remodeling our master bathroom and he does most of it himself. So he was almost done for the afternoon. Yeah. Took off his safety goggles. Yeah. And then realized that there was one more piece of wood trim that he needed to remove. Yeah. So he grabbed it and yanked it off the wall. You know, it was nailed in. Yanked it off and a...

51:17shard of wood, a wood splinter shot into his eyeball. Oh my gosh. He had to get stitches in his eyeball. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, wait, wait. What part of the eye? The white or the actual? Yeah, the white. The white. No, no, no. Not the cornea or anything. Thank goodness. The white. That's even worse. The white, though. But stitches. You could see that they were like the invisible, you know, the see-through thread or whatever. Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's what I got to ask you because when they give stitches, I know that before they stitch you up, what they generally do is give you a little bit of an anesthetic so that it doesn't hurt as bad. So did they have to give him any sort of an anesthetic? Yeah, a little bit. We were just talking about this. That's why I came running in here, because he was just telling the story again. A little shot to the eyeball. Oh, my gosh. And then stitches in the eyeball. Now, imagine the doctor saying, you're going to feel a little stick here. A little pressure. You're going to feel a little pressure.

52:32Did it make a popping sound? Now, hey, don't close your eye. Don't close your eye. Don't close your eye. I'm going to stick a needle in it, so don't close your eye. Keep it open for me. They must have had to stick one of those clockwork orange deals on him. I bet. And that's the other thing that's so bad about it. You have to see it. You're looking at it. You have no choice. You have no choice but to see it. see it coming at you. That'll do. Were you there? No, no. I was out with my daughter and his friend called and said everything's fine but your husband's bleeding from his eye and we're taking him to the hospital. It's never good when a phone conversation begins with the words everything's fine but comma. Oh my gosh. Scale of 1 to 10, has he given you any indication of the pain level? He said it wasn't, like, horrible. I wonder what was worse. He's a bruiser, though, man. He has gotten so many injuries over the years. Remember when the surfboard hit him in the face and he had to wire his jaw? Oh, yeah. Broke his jaw. Guy's a hard ass. Yeah.

53:49I wonder if the wood or the needle was the worst. It's got to be the needle. I'll ask him. The needle. The needle. I don't know. I almost want to interview him. I think wood would be worse. That's one of the worst injuries I've ever heard of. Isn't that gnarly? So, hi, guys. Hi. Oh, my gosh. That got my heart going. That got my heart going. I want you to call. Hi, we're back. Jay, you want to hit, yeah, click those. There you go. Real sweetly. Jay's got a lot of, he's spinning a lot of plates over there. And he's trying to eat his yogurt with granola in it. And look, we got to take a break. We will be back. It's the Mikey Show without Mikey today. It's a hybrid show. And the word of the day is vintage. I have not said it yet. You're listening for that. Call in right now. We're going to play catchphrase. I'm going to take Adam on my team. I want Adam. And I'll separate you two lovers, Jay. It's okay. I got it. Call in and pick. Well, you have a replacement Mexican. Yeah, I needed a replacement Mexican. Mexican-American. Mexican-American. It wasn't Mexican. Oh, my God. Call in for Team JRLOB or Team Woods and Adam. I always have to look nice. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Ready, set, go.

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1:01:42Well, it looks like we've got a little bit of backup on the 67, the 67 northbound Post Hill Road to Mapleview Street, 42 miles an hour. Also, some backup here on the 8 eastbound. You've got delays at Dunbar Lane. That really seems to be the slowest spot, Dunbar Lane. It's about 46 miles an hour. And traveling towards El Cajon, you've got to back up Main Street to about Willow Glen Drive, 36 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, your neighborhood Toyota dealer, is the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory-trained techs. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Nuclear science is not my passion. Woods. You can take a turd and rub it in wasabi and soy sauce. Tastes like sushi. Lauren. It's not called Love Making Playlist, but it is my Love Making Playlist for... And Jay. Yesterday we were out skateboarding on the ramp. And I'm thinking, I'm almost 50 and I'm skateboarding. It's great. I'm going to break a hip. On FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show. We are without Mikey.

1:03:05And today he has gallbladder surgery. And so we're filling in. It's me, it's Woodsy, it's L-O-B, and it's Jay. And sitting in with us now is a very special Latino-American guest named Adam Martinez. ¿Cómo estás? I don't speak Spanish. ¿Cómo estás? I don't speak Spanish. Don't you? No. Oh, he doesn't. Oh, my gosh. I needed a Mexican replacement because Mikey is out. So I got the next best thing. My friend Adam. I'm taller, leaner. Yeah. He's a lot leaner. That is true. That is true. All right, you guys switch seats. Oh, we got to hold on, Jay. Let's find out who wants who. M1 Nix from El Cajon, who do you want? Oh, Woods and Adam. Oh, nice pick. It's a great pick. It's a great pick. You're going home, mister. M1 Rebecca, you will have team L-O-B and Jay, all right? All right, and I also want to send out good wishes to Mikey. Thanks very much. We all want him to get over his Botox treatment. As soon as possible. Get back in here. You already said the Botox. Scurvy. You already said scurvy. Elevititis. You said that too. Dang it. Hey, what are we playing for for Catchphrase? Well, I'll tell you what we're playing for. We are playing for Adam didn't print me the sheet with the prizes on it. A $50 gift card to Dave & Busters. There we go. And make sure you join Woods tonight at Dave & Busters. Yes, 5 to 7 happy hour. What's their tagline? Eat, drink, play. Eat, drink, play. Oh, wow. It's like not so easy, is it, lapper?

1:04:31Laugher. All right, here we go. Laugher. Who is starting today? It is L-O-B. Okay. All right. All right, L-O-B. Okay. Catch race. Here we go. All right, Adam, we're mind-melding. We got you. We're mind-melding. I am going to go with places. That's my girl. Okay. Stand up. Stand up. Are we ready? Let's do this. Oh, gosh. It was like the one that Woods and Mike could not get. It was that weird saying. Not north or south. Oh, west is west. Not north, south, or west, but... East. East of Eden. No, it's the same thing you just said. East of East. No. East is east. Yes! What? Oh my gosh, what is that? Okay, you're not inside, you're... Outside. And with your eyes, you're... Shut up. Outside, open. Outside... You're... You gotta... Gosh, darn it. Okay, you're not inside. How many words? It's three words. Okay. Can you do that? Outside in. No, no, no. With your eyes, you... What do you do with your eyes? You look. Okay, okay. Look outside the box. Look outside. You have the first word. You're not inside. Outside. Outside look. An outside look. Uh, you're... No! Look outside. What do you do with your eyes? Outside looking in. Outside looking in. Come on. Better than that. Team one. Am I! Worst describer than Mikey. That's hard to do.

1:05:54I knew what it was. I knew what it was. Thank you. Did you, Jay? You did not. Going places still. Okay. Here we go. Hate places. Team one has a... Gosh darn, I hate those. Oh, I'm not up. Down. And then we are all on the... Down under. What? Down under? No, what is it we're on? The world, the earth. Down to earth. Down to earth. Okay, when you go number two, some people will call that a... Squat. Deuce. Taking a. Deuce? No. Taking a. You go to the land. A landfill is also called. Dump. Okay. That's the last word. Okay. When you're not up, you're. Down. Okay. Down in the dump. Yep. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. How about a place? Okay. A train stops at this. Station. Yes. But another word for a train. Railroad station. Yes. What's a railroad? All right. It's not where you sleep. It's where you would have your friends stay. A guest room. Oh, they're a bunch of them, and you go there like Kauai, Maui. Islands. But what are they? Kauai and Islands. Oh, God darn it. S-word. So does it go to LLB now? Yeah. This is ridiculous. Perfect. And you can't scream while he's giving me his... You say that every time, and I never do. I never do. I never do. I purposely... He said, oh, you go to these, and you went, ah! No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I hate the tape.

1:07:18Roll the tape. She always says that, and I don't scream while they're getting close. Yes. Children don't fight. Go. Okay. All right. Ready? Oh, boy. What category? Won't be the first time that happens. It's places. Again? Yep. We get to choose. Switch it up. All right. Fine, you big babies. Big babies. All right. I will then go to? Sports and games. No. I will go to food. Oh. Don't have Mikey here to carry you. All right. Here we go. You put ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise. Those are all types of things. Staples. Condiments. Yes. Okay, Woods, it's what you're doing right now to keep your weight down. Working out. Work out. Go to the gym. It's about how you eat. On a diet. Yeah, but your numbers. Calorie counting. Counting calories. Yeah. Oh, they hang from trees. They're brown. Bananas. No, Mikey says he is one. Coconut. Yes. Oranges have this in them.

1:08:21Vitamin C. Oh boy, oh boy. You put... Okay, it's a part of your hand. My fingers. Fingernails. And you place this up. You put your finger in your ear. Finger in your... I don't want to say what I thought it was. Stop giggling. Look, we're all adults here. Is it something to do with Holland? No. No. It's finger in the pie. I'll just leave it at that. Nobody will giggle. Nobody will laugh. Nope. That was the clear board. All right, so team two gets a board. I'm sorry, Jay. I couldn't have gotten that out in a thousand trials. So it's two to one. Two to one.

1:09:18Two to one. Adam is picking a category. I wonder what it would be. Sports and games. Okay, here we go. Weird. Two to one, Team Jay and Lauren. Oh, gosh. Here we go. All right, Woods, it's what you consider your baseball team. You're in a... Professional. Semi-pro. Sort of. Amateur? One below from major. Minor leagues. Yes. Oh, he's the swimmer. Michael Phelps. Gosh darn it. This is in pool. It's the black ball. The eight ball. Yep. Oh, goodness. You said ball. Did I? Yeah. You said it's the black ball. Oh, then we lose. Gosh. Idiot! Damn it! I was going to keep going. Idiot. I wasn't going to say anything. Okay. Team one. We are one point away from the victory. It's all right. Come back. I'm going to change the category to entertainment. She always does this. Everybody has their strategy. Here we go. Oh, she sings, let's get it percolated. Isolate. Okay. Jesus' mom. Mary. Yes. Mary Blige. Yes, but there's a middle initial. Mary J. Blige. Yes. No, I don't really know. Oh, man. He hosts.

1:10:4360 Minutes. Mike Wallace. All right, it's L.O.B.'s fiancé's first name. Matt. Matt Lauer. Oh, that's so far off, Adam. I don't know who that is. Mickey Mouse. I got big fans. Mickey Mouse. I got a big red nose. A clown. Yes, but I'm a certain clown. I'm also the clown. Yes, thank you. It's married to Tommy Lee. She was. Pamela Anderson. No, the other one. Hot. Melrose Place. Heather Locklear. Yep. Oh, okay. It's a book that you... Yes, yes, yes, yes. All right, team two gets a point. Crawling back. Crawling back. Is that your only point? No, it's three to two. Oh, oh, come on. Let's get it percolated. Let's get it. I had no idea. So great. Go back to sports and games? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Nice, bitch. You did two places, so we're going to sports and games. Here we go.

1:11:42Oh, man. Okay, if you're an archery, you can be considered a... An archer? Master bullseye man. You're a marksman. Okay, but if you're really good, you're considered a... An expert marksman. Oh, wow. Oh, I'm going to go fishing and I'm going to bring my... No, it's a phrase, the two things I really need. It's different. It's like what I put on the hook. A bait and hook. A bait. And Rod. Oh, sometimes they refer to the man stuff as this. That's balls. No, no. No, no. It's another name for Rod. It's like, oh, it's football. A yard. A yard stick. One runner comes and he grabs the other one. A tackle. A tackle. Beat and tackle. Gosh. We're dead. Oh, God. You turn it and it's like it marches. Marching man? No, you turn it. Oh. A wind-up toy. That's sports. It's way loud. Jay, you are like a vintage piece of artwork, my friend. I like that. Nice. Well, thank you. Congratulations. You're the big wiener. Hang on the line. You're going to be a champion, isn't it? Yeah. It's so loud. It's so loud. It's so loud. Oh, gosh. The catchphrase is still running. There we go.

1:13:33I had a little bit of a Tourette's moment. Yeah, a little bit. You had a dirty clue in there, too. Yeah. Unbelievable. Finger in the pie. Finger in the pie. That will get you. Tell me about the Sacha Baron Cohen bit. So, you know, he's kind of a wild card. Yes. He is threatening to show up at the red carpet in costume as his new character. It was the ruthless tyrant from the film The Dictator. And they're saying, hey, no way, dude. This is not what we're doing because it's not a zoo. This is not, you know, you can't come here showboating. You can't come here to advertise. It's just we want you to come and be a presenter, but don't show up like anything else other than yourself. This weekend for the Academy Awards. Yeah. And he had been offered an opportunity to host before, but he declined because he wanted to come as Borat. Yeah, he does. I've seen, you know, I'll watch anything that guy does. Like Bruno, you know, I do. Oh, Christ. I loved it. Everybody hated that movie. I walked around, like my wife would ask me a question. I'd go, oh, Christ. I thought it was, I thought that kind of comedy is so uncomfortable.

1:14:46And so brilliant. It makes my heart race. Andy Kaufman, too. He becomes that person. That's the scary part. He becomes that person. And it's almost so uncomfortable to watch because he takes it so past the point where you're like, okay, it's almost not funny anymore. No, it's still funny. It just makes me squirm. Makes me squirm. And I can't take that. I'm always like, I got to get out. I got to go. I think that that takes a different, it's a different breed. I can't do it. I can't keep a straight face. I can't stay in character. I had to do it as. EBW. Yeah. My Eskimo Blue Waters when I went to Mount Soledad. That was so weird. And it was very difficult. It was very like, I wanted to just, because you could tell some people were like offended by what I was doing and confused. I wanted to be like, hey, it's just a bit. It's just a bit, but you can't. I'm not for the not taking down. When I watched the movie Man in the Moon about Andy Kaufman. He did a bit. He went on stage at a college, and he had been playing this character on Taxi called Latka. Oh, yeah. And, you know, world famous, and he hated it. Hated it. Hated doing it. And he did a bit where he got on stage and he read The Great Gatsby, the book by F. Scott Fitzgerald. He just read it. The whole thing? The whole thing. Whoa. And people were freaking out. They were screaming. They were losing their minds. And he just stayed with it and read. And, like, to me, watching a guy read The Great Gatsby is not funny, but knowing.

1:16:08That he had the balls to get up there and do that. And just do that. I had that character? No. As himself? He did it in a British voice. Oh. Just weird. Just because he hated what he was doing. Yep. He actually got lost in his character and never came back, though, really. Yeah, he got cancer and died. Oh, but I mean, he never, he was like, became. Always doing bits. Always doing bits. Yeah. He wouldn't come out of it. Yeah, he just wouldn't. He would become, you know, he would become who he played. And it's just it's a different brand of comedy. I can't do it. Like when L.O.B., I went with L.O.B. when she did her Eskimo Blue Waters act. And basically what it was was she plays this character. It's a local musician that, you know, isn't really a musician at all. And she loves to talk like this. Right. And she loves to protest stuff. Just she wants to be in on like she would be she would be a Jeremy Lin fan. Right. And a Tim Tebow fan because they're the hot things going. So the Mount Soledad debate, they wanted to take the cross down. She protested. She said, you're not going to not take this cross. What was it? Don't not take it down. Yeah, don't not take it down. She was chained. She chained around her. And I had someone from out of town talk to me for five minutes and I had to maintain. So I couldn't just be like, because I had started doing the don't not take it down. So it's like when she came up to me and was asking me my point of view, I had to be like, well, you know.

1:17:32I just, I'm from here. They had no idea. I was there and I was hiding because I didn't want to get anywhere near her because it made me so uncomfortable. Yeah, it's pretty uncomfortable. So anyway, that was a fun game of catchphrase. I really liked that game. Adam's really bad at it. He is not that great, but neither am I. He's dreamy. I'm pretty awesome. Really? Pretty very awesome. Pretty very awesome. Pretty very awesome. What do you think about, never mind. Do we have a best of bit now, Jay? No, we only have six minutes until we have the break. I mean, I could find one for you real quick if you like. I'd say we, yeah. Yeah, you might want to knock that out. We'll knock a best of out since that's what we have scheduled here. We don't have anything scheduled the rest of the break. All right. Oh, my gosh. All right. So what I have here, it says, is a creepy kid and a baby girl. That's what it says. Enjoy. So. Sucks. This kid has become a YouTube sensation. He is identical screech. And when I say identical screech, I mean this kid looks like Dustin Diamond. He looks just like Dustin Diamond. And in terms of age, I want to put this kid 13, 14 years old. Yeah, I think so. Not a trace of facial hair. And there's not any in the nearby future. If he were looking over the bow.

1:19:02of his youth with a pair of binoculars, there simply is no facial hair on the horizon. It's going to be many, many days. But I'll tell you what he does have. What he doesn't have in facial hair, he makes up for in gumption. Now, what is gumption? It's when you have a girlfriend and you decide you're going to make a video for her to let her know how you feel about her. And you're going to be a white kid. With no shirt on. Your little pink nipples showing on the video. Pencil erasers. Yes. Talking to her and her only. Well, and by her only, I mean over one million people that have now viewed it on YouTube. The world. Hi, baby girl. Everything's okay, I promise. I forgive you. Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be okay. I love you. I love you. Whoa.

1:20:05woods are you uncomfortable are you uncomfortable baby girl i love you so much i love you more than there are grains of sand on every beach so you know as he's saying this he's sort of with the little little camera filming himself he's sort of turning in a circle of every planet of every galaxy of the universe i need you in my life I need you more than humans need water and food to survive. I believe him, by the way. You mean more to me than... Your nipples. Your little tiny 14-year-old nipless. Home Depot means to Mr. Lojorado. You comic genius. You mean more to me than just anything. You mean more to me than golden diamonds. What are golden diamonds? What are golden diamonds?

1:21:20They're diamonds made of gold. Very rare. To the greediest burglar. And you're just the most perfect, most beautiful girl in all of the world. Identical screech. And I love you so much. I hope you enjoy watching this baby girl. Oh, that's creepy. That's creepy. Tiny little giggle. It's a cool tomorrow, baby girl. It's getting shot with a dart every time he says it. Immediate breakup. I love you. No. Stop loving me. Stop loving me. He's doing his eyebrows up and down. Oh, yeah. He has giant caterpillar eyes. Eyebrows. And he manipulates them in a way that says, creepy, creepy. It's so bad. I wish his dad walked in the middle of the video. What are you doing? What are you doing? I do. It's true.

1:22:26I love you more than anything else in the world. Yeah, you said that. Oh, wow. Bye, baby girl. Oh, gosh. Stay perfect just for me. Oh, boy. Oh, that's so filthy. So many thoughts running through my heart. What do you want? You want the tears to come out of my eyes? Stay perfect for me. My kid has to get homeschooled now. Yeah. No way he can be out in public. No. You can't go out in public after you make that. I thank God that. when I was in sixth and seventh grade that there were no computers or webcams or... Me too. There would be several. It would be my bit. Yeah. The video bit. It would be my bit and that would have been your boy. Me too, but I wouldn't have been able to take off my shirt. I would have had to have kept my shirt on. Unlike that young man who took it off. You know what's really weird about that video? Besides everything. Besides everything. In the video, which we should post, but in the background, there's his closet. And there's nothing in his closet. There's one red shirt. One red shirt. That's all I need in his closet. That's all he needs, baby girl. Ew. It's the shirt he took off. Yeah, exactly. I took it off in there for you to go into the guest room where nobody ever goes. And I make these videos for you, baby girl. I call it the killing room. I have to tell client.

1:23:59My mom's next door on their computer. My shirt off, but I want it. I have a giant cradle. I'm going to rock you, baby girl. No rocket. I want you to wear a bonnet, baby girl. After all, you're baby, right? Baby girl. You want to wear a bonnet, baby girl? You mean more to me than all the milk for the baby girl. You mean more to me than all the G's in the word girl. There's only one. That's you. You mean more to me than the teat that you get your milk from, baby girl. Wow. You mean more to me than these little pink nipples that you still have. You mean more to me than this webcam. It's easily one of the creepiest things I've ever seen in my life. What do you do if you're her dad?

1:25:14You kill him. Laugh at him. You murder him. You laugh at him. And then you beat the crap out of him with a stick. That kid is a dead man. A dead man. Hey, it's the Mikey Show. We're back. That bit creeps me out to no end. That creepy little kid on YouTube. We will be back in a second. It's the Mikey Show without Mikey today. It's a hybrid show with me, Jay, and L.O.B. And when we come back, we want to talk about this. Are you still kissing? Let me tell you something. After you test drive a BMW, you're going to see why the ultimate driving machine was the number one, number one selling luxury vehicle in the U.S. last year. Now. I'm talking about BMW Encinitas. It's my BMW place. I love BMW Encinitas and you should too. They got for you to buy, not lease, buy a 2011 328i sedan for only $289 a month. $289 a month. You just got to ask yourself what you're paying now. You could get 0.9 for 60 months on a 2011.

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1:33:06for just $199 per month. At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru brand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. Sunroad Automotive, serving San Diego for 35 years. 2012 force releases model CFB for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter in 3,555. Due at least signing. No security deposit. Unapproved above average credit. One at this payment. Then 40, 32, 78. Number one claims based on 2011 Subaru sales report. Offers expire month end. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. This report brought to you by the California Lottery. With the Mega Millions jackpot at $83 million, you've got 83 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. Freeways look pretty good considering it's primetime drive time. I don't really see that bad. It's the 67, some back up here, 67 northbound Post Hill Road, Lakeside Avenue, about 42 miles an hour. Also a little bit of a delay on Lake Jennings Park Road at the 8 westbound, which is normal.

1:34:2432 miles an hour. And as you head into El Cajon, you've got some backup on the 54 southbound. The eight connectors at 19 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent, they'll help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Hey, welcome back to the Mikey Show. We are without Mikey today. He's out. Yeah, gallbladder removed. Face... Oh, breast lift. I'm sorry, I got it wrong. Breast lift. Knock it as breasts lifted. But they were sagging. He should have. Oh, boy. So, also, I did say the word of the day. M1 Mary actually won, but she had to go. So, she won. Congratulations to M1 Mary. The word of the day was vintage. Enjoy SeaWorld. You all didn't win, so feast. LOB, what is going on in the news? Well, we have a sad story coming out of Arizona. Last night, seven Marines were killed when two helicopter...

1:35:52helicopters crashed near the Yuma Training Center complex, and the identities of the victims have not yet been released, and the cause of the crash is still under investigation, so we will bring you any details as we get them. That's sad. And on a lighter note, your girl, Jennifer Aniston Woods, got her Walk of Fame star. and is just in time to promote her new film, Wanderlust, which is out in theaters this weekend. She is on the cover of the new... What is the movie? Wanderlust. Wanderlust. I thought you said Wanderlust. Wanderlust. She's on the new cover of GQ with Paul Rudd. She looks so freaking hot. Yeah. She's very, very attractive. I don't know if she's walk of fame worthy, but then again, what do I know? Her body of work, really? Right. It hasn't been that successful. Yeah, she's done a lot of stuff. She's done a lot of movies. Her acting is questionable. Apparently, Adam Sandler was there doing bits the whole time. Weird. He quoted her Rachel haircut and her appearance in Leprechaun among her best performances. That was her first movie, Leprechaun. I got a couple sports stories for you. The Chargers are very reluctant to franchise Vincent Jackson. That will cost them $13.7 million, and it's a one-year deal. And A.J. Smith, who's the general manager, has said,

1:37:05I'm, quote, extremely uncomfortable allocating that much money for a one-year guaranteed deal. Doesn't look like Vijay will be back next year, which is, that's not good for the Chargers, man. He's a good player, and he still hasn't reached his full potential. And he can be one of the best wide receivers in the league and, you know, is a great target for Phillip. And if you missed it. We did talk about it in the open. The San Diego State Aztecs did survive an overtime game against Wyoming last night. They ended their losing skid, and they won an overtime 67-58. So congrats to the Aztecs. I talked about this before we went to break. Are you still kissing as much as you used to? Yes. It just got engaged. That's right. This is what you have to look forward to. Are you ready? In the first six months of marriage, couples kiss 25 times a week. Or close to four times a day on the mouth. In the second year of marriage, it jumps to 31 times a week or four or five times a day. After five years, 19 times a week. So it starts at one place, goes up, comes down. That's right. I kiss a lot now. You're a kisser? I'm a big kisser. Since you got engaged, do you kiss more? Probably. I don't think my wife and I kiss as much as we used to, but, you know, we...

1:38:25We don't see a whole hell of a lot of each other these days. She works different hours. Your tongue. What's wrong with my tongue? All that dip and donuts. I'm not talking about tongue kisses. I don't eat donuts. Still all that dip? Yeah, I do dip snuff. But, I mean, you go ride your bike for 50 miles and then make love to your wife. That's true. Which is hideous. I shower first. Plus, she sees your long, thin dong, so that's disgusting. She's a fan. It's disgusting. We have a best-of clip for you. Which one is this one, Jay Burr? This is Fines for Playing Frisbee on the Beach. Oh, this is good. And Adele. Oh, is this your parody in there? It could be. Thanks for asking me questions. I don't know. You bet. Feast on this. To $1,000 for anybody that throws a football or a frisbee on any beach. Shut up. You are kidding. In Los Angeles County. It's not in San Diego. Monsters. Yet. Yet. Now, here's what it says. Come on. Come on, man. Here's what it says. It prohibits any person to cast, toss, throw, kick, or roll any object other than a beach ball or volleyball upon or over any beach between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Why?

1:39:58I'll tell you, this is my guess. My guess why is because some people are trying to enjoy their day. They're having a picnic and all of a sudden a Sandy Frisbee comes into their sandwich. Oh, no. Now they got sand all over their sandwich and it's ruined. You're at a beach. Recreational hazard. What if a guy is getting out of the surf and his surfboard hits you in the head? You're sitting there, you're enjoying your sandwich. Well, so is that. Frisbee getting away from you is an accident. Surfing is something that's meant for the water. Yeah, and throwing a football and throwing a Frisbee is meant for the beach. Wait a minute. Exactly. Wait a minute. Footballs are not meant for the beach. Volleyballs are? We take them. What if somebody opens their beach umbrella and accidentally hits you? By the way, I don't agree with the ban. Why do you hate football and frisbee? However, there is beach volleyball. There is not beach football. Sure there is. Didn't you see Point Break? Yeah. Did you or did you not see Point Break? Well, first of all, no. Okay, that's too bad. Come on. There's nothing like it. Second of all, Amber from San Diego agrees with the ban. Are you there, Amber? I'm here. You agree with the ban.

1:41:13And think that they should do it in San Diego. I absolutely do. Why? Because I was at the beach and I was with two of my girlfriends. And we were just laying out there trying to get some sun. And I had my eyes closed. I was just relaxing. And all of a sudden, a football hits me right in the eye. I had a black eye for a week. It's not funny. It is funny. That's not funny. That's funny. It ain't funny. Come on. That's funny. She got a black eye. You put a little snake on it, you're fine. What is it, Marsha Brady and oh my nose? It's funny. It's not. People should be able to go to the beach and close their eyes and not get hit in the face. But that's one bad apple. That's one bad apple. Spoils a bunch. It's an accident. The guy with a bad aim. Now, do you consider that at all, Amber? It was an accident and that you shouldn't punish everyone because one person had an accident. You know, I do like I know it was probably an accident, but I I'm a son worshiper. I go to the beach as often as I can. And I can't tell you how many times I didn't get hit. But you have those two guys that are throwing the ball back and forth right over you. And they just don't care if you complain. And I've had more incidents than I've.

1:42:36Not. So I would love to not have to worry about it. You guys know my take. I've said this a million times. You can feel however you want to feel. Just don't wipe it all over my face. Hey, listen, you want to throw a football? That's great. Bottom line is there's some chick. She's laying out. She's got all her oil all over. Some dude is sprinkling sand and muddy sand all over her. She just doesn't want that. I think it's a fair and reasonable expectation. That's like not being in the ocean. Oh, you're splashing me when you kick. Right. I believe it is a fair and reasonable expectation to not be covered in sand from a football or frisbee while you're laying on the beach. If you're at the beach, you're going to be covered in sand. Right. You're at a beach, man. How many times have you been hit by a football, Mike, at the beach? I have not. How about you, Woods? Never. At Lauren? I've been hit by a football and a frisbee. Yeah. And let's say she hadn't. What does that prove? Well, it just means it's not very often it happens. Oh, you just said you can feel whatever way you want. Just don't shove it down my throat. Well, I feel that I want to go throw the frisbee or the football at the beach. Don't pass a law saying I can't. If I can go, all right, by that law. Talk to Amber. Tell Amber. Amber, by that law, by the law that's in place now, it says I can have a volleyball or a beach ball. So does that mean I can throw the volleyball like I would a football? And that's okay.

1:44:00Well, okay, but the thing is, is with the volleyball, there's designated areas. And they're usually off, you know, a little bit to the side. Sure, they're staying volleyball courts. Yeah, there's not clowns drinking Bud Lights throwing a Frisbee. Why do they got to be drinking Bud Lights? I didn't drink Bud Lights when I was throwing the football with my buddies. That's true, Michelob Lights. But still, you're deep. I get nervous sometimes when people are there, but I just consider that part of the, like I said, recreational. It's part of the deal. And there's people playing horseshoes. There's people. playing volleyball, or I'm sorry, bocce ball. Amber, why do you not consider it just part of the territory? Because, like you were mentioning earlier, football is not a beach sport. I mean, you want to go play the football, go to the park, go to a stadium, go to the beach. On Super Bowl Sunday, they had a, on Super Bowl Sunday in Indianapolis, they had an indoor sand football game. So that makes it okay. Yes. Asked an answer. All right, asked an answer. Oh, but what if I want to swim and play football or swim and throw the Frisbee? It's all American. Yeah, I take, when I went last summer with some buddies that visited, we took our surfboards, we went surfing, then we threw the football around. It's better than just sitting there. It's better to be active. We played the whole point break thing where I threw it in the water, they dove for it into the wave. It's the best. Guess what, bro? Amber got hit in the eye with it. Well, that sucks. I went to a baseball game and got hit with a foul ball.

1:45:25I'm not banning baseball. Right. Guess what they do at baseball games? What? They play baseball. Great. So there's a baseball on the baseball game. But they do everything at the beach. But you do everything at the beach. It isn't called the football beach. I'm going to throw out the obesity card. What do you mean? People are too obese. I shouldn't just be sitting there on the beach. How are they ruining your day? Because they're disgusting. No, but they are ruining. I'm paying more in taxpayer money to support their obesity. On the beach? In everything. Oh, you mean in everything. Yes. If you're going to go to the beach, you should have to be doing something. Yeah. That's the new law. I love it. It's a completely different deal, but I see where you're going with it. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying that to be ridiculous because I think it's just as ridiculous to say, you shouldn't be able to throw a football because I might get hit. Amber, do you believe that fat people have no right to live? I do. No, I definitely do not agree with that statement. You do not agree with that statement. I got hit in the tooth with a Frisbee at the park. Of course you did. At the park. Yes, but you also threw up yesterday in a park from eating a bug. That's true. That is fair enough. Thank you, Amber, for the call. M1 Sherry from San Diego. Go ahead. Hi, Mikey. Hi. I'm actually really against this ban. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

1:46:39One of the things that I like to do with my friends the most on the weekends is go out to OB and throw the Frisbee around. And if I wasn't allowed to do that, then, I mean, it's just ridiculous to think that, you know, we can stand fun for everybody just so some people may not accidentally get hurt. Yeah. I mean. I mean, what are we going to do, ban seagulls because they poop on them? That's right. You can't ban a seagull because a seagull flies around. You can't control it. People want to ban seals at the pool, the seal beach or whatever. I got hit with a frisbee. My arm hurts. Oh, really? It doesn't hurt to get hit in the eye with a leather foot. It does. You should be able to sue that individual. Don't ruin it for everybody. I'm just kidding about that. M1 Johnny from San Diego. Go ahead, Johnny.

1:47:37Hey, I think all you guys should just stand in front of each other and throw the Frisbee at each other with their arms down and whack each other in the head. Yeah, see how it feels. It don't feel too good, does it? Wait a minute, wait a minute, though. You're not at the beach with your arms tied behind you. Yeah, you're not an armless at the beach. It's even worse, L.O.B. You're sitting there with your eyes closed. That's one clown. How often does that happen? You're a clown because you're laying out with your eyes closed? Yes. I'm saying one clown that threw it at you that didn't say heads up or just has really bad aim or the wind took it. But most people I go on the beach anyways, they don't even know what they're doing when they're throwing a frisbee. That's true. And they had a couple pops. You should walk up to the, I walk up to people and say, can you guys scoot that over a little bit? If you've almost hit us several times. I've been almost hit several times and I finally, I return it to them and I go, can you guys move over a little bit? No, wow. You almost hit my knees. She has a ballsy broad from New Jersey. Hey, you can't throw, move it. M1 Leone from Hawool. Hi. Hi. Okay, so I was. thinking since it's such a big deal that they're banding it um it most likely shows that people are being disrespectful towards other people that are laying at the beach and that really sucks i mean how can they say that just volleyball just uh throwing frisbees is only allowed at the beach when people play soccer or

1:48:56Those are things that don't belong there. A piano doesn't belong on the beach. A soccer ball doesn't belong on the beach. Absolutely, we play soccer all the time. Soccer goes on the beach? Yes, it does. I saw two guys sitting there jamming the guitars yesterday when I was walking. I don't want to hear your music. You know what? I would say maybe there's an argument to be made for guitars not belonging on the beach if people were throwing them back and forth to each other. What if you considered it noise pollution? Yeah, what if the guy sucks? Some clown's going to be like, I can't. I can't sleep. I want to relax. That's not physically harming someone. I need my rest. We don't need any more laws. Stay out of my life. Stay off the beat. They should put it on the ballot and you people go out and vote. Yeah. You people. Okay. Okay. Well, then let's take it a step further. If we're allowed to take whatever we want to the beach, then why don't we just start taking slingshots out there, too? And, hey, we want to just do some practice. We're into slingshots. Cool. Sorry, I hit you. Those can be deadly. I think those are illegal. Yeah. A slingshot? I think so. Slingshots aren't illegal. Depends on what you put in them. Let's say that you want to go out there and you want to play paintball on the beach. You want to play paintball? You're defacing something, then.

1:50:06You're not defacing. Yeah, you are. The paint is defacing something. Oh, paint's not going to go away. It's just a little paintball. It's toxic, too. It can go in the water. That's right. It's going to deface the beach. Who doesn't go to a beach and throw a freaking football if you have a dong between your legs? Lazy people. Okay, I got some other stuff for you, too. Thank goodness. I know. It's starting to turn into a riot around here. This is Adele on her throat. So you had to have a surgery? Yeah, I had laser surgery, yeah. And what did they actually do? They put a laser down your throat, cut off the polyp. Yeah, well, hello. Hello, mate. Are you a freaking idiot? What did you say words? Are you a freaking idiot? Freaking idiot. They put it in your bum. What do you think? Right, it isn't called a bum laser surgery. What do you think happened? I had a quarter pounder lodged in my throat. No, you didn't. I had a chicken nugget lodged right in my throat. It was a pork shake. No, you didn't. That's what it was. Del, that's mean. It was a side of a mutton. Leave me alone. I had a whole sheep in my neck. Laser your hemorrhage back together and fix it. To help her heal, she was also ordered not to speak a word for much of November and December. Thank you.

1:51:23Except a couple of times I ordered a number two with ranch on the side. That's just a joke. It's a joke. It's got to be hard. Yeah, it was really hard. I sense you like to talk. Yeah, I love talking. So how do you communicate? Who doesn't? Love talking. Hello. I mean, I'm a human being. I don't communicate with smoke signals. No, Anderson, I love to just sit in silence. I'm a singer. Yeah. Like everyone else, I love to sit in freaking silence. Do I look like Stephen Hawking? Yeah. I just sit here and I don't say a freaking L-O-B. Oh, wow. That was pretty harsh. Thank you guys for making chicken nuggets. I know, but that was pretty harsh. It's over the top, love. A pad. I had a night pad. Is it a e-handicap? It's not a word. The guy's not, Adele's not sitting. He doesn't have a voice box or something. Oh, my God. And then he speaks it. But the great thing is, because I love to swear. Oh. Most of you can't swear, but I found there's one act where you can swear. So I'm still really getting my point across. That has really been the hardest part of it. It's having to give it a bird for every time. Splitting a bird. Yeah, just giving a bird every time I want to say it. I can't say it because I can't speak. So I have to, yeah, I have to point to my bum.

1:52:29And say, you know what? This is where you can put it. I sometimes grab my crotch. Grab my crotch. I've actually written the F word onto a piece of sandwich board. And I just owed it up from time to time. I've made a sandwich out of the word F. It is delicious. I don't know. That's Adele on her throat surgery. Gosh, darn. Poor girl. She talks like that, but that chick. The best. Gosh. The best. Darn can she sing. Amy Winehouse talks like that, too. Doesn't necessarily mean they're not songbirds. Let me tell you. Songbirds. She is a freaking songbird. She's a freaking unicorn. Oh, yeah. She is a unicorn. If every woman could sing like that, that's all they'd do. Yeah. That's all they would do all day long. It's got to be very... It's scary for her after that surgery to try to sing again. It's like if a guy has a knee surgery, and that first couple jogs, you're like, oh, boy. She knows that what exists in her throat is something extraordinarily different than what exists in everybody else's throat, and she's about to take lasers to it. And before they do it, I know that the doctors have got to say, by the way, there is a slight chance that when this is done,

1:54:06you won't be able to sing anymore. It don't get much better than that album, 21. No doubt. That album is a great album. Front to back. And I think it'll go down as being one of those iconic albums years from now. Oh, so good. But when she talks, she talks like this. What do you think I'm going to talk like? Hello, it's freaking called laser throat surgery. They don't put it in your bum, you dumb head. You're Anderson Cooper, Anderson stupid. Do you have an In-N-Out burger laying around back there? Yeah, that's right. I mean, gosh darn it. I'm starving already. Pull your head out of your bum. That's right. She's a big girl, but she's pretty foxy. I think so. I'm in on it. Oh, I would in a heartbeat. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. I wouldn't. I hate fat people. God, I hate them. No, she just did. You know what I'd be fine with? I'm not kidding you. You know what I'd be fine with? If the trend went towards chubby women, no problem.

1:56:17I'm not kidding you. Isolate that and just save it. If the trend went towards chubby women, I'd have no problem. Why do people freak out about it? We've got a culture that's like, you've got to be super skinny. I like voluptuous. Curves are back. Curves, I hope, are back. Curves equals breasts most of the time. I still like cottage cheese. You are such a... Just throwing it out there. Okay, let's talk serious shop here. Even our phone screener put his head down in his hands. I know, and he's a friend of Jay's. Let's talk serious shop here. Yes, I'm ready. Are you telling me that a girl that is chunky, but she's got big boobs, beautiful full lips, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful... Wait, wait, wait. I'm just describing a look here to Jay. Again, chunky girl. I mean, and I'm talking... She's got 20 extra pounds on her, okay? Hang on. She's got a low-cut top on, okay? And let's say that you can even see rolls, but hang with me here. Hang with me here. Voluptuous breasts, big full lips, beautiful skin, big blue eyes, gorgeous hair, smells great. Are you telling me?

1:57:40That doesn't attract you at all, Jay? It depends. If it's all kind of put together in a nice package that is toned. No toning. I don't like the loosey-goosey that just sits around and watches TV all day. I want a little firmness. I don't mind if you're 20 pounds. 20 pounds is nothing. All I'm saying is... If that girl's got the boobs and she's got the beautiful lips and the skin and the eyes and the whole thing. I'll get you. Come on. Just got to be a little bit of work in there. I'll get you real good. I'll tell you what. I'll take that girl out. I'll try a pork chop around her neck and get dogs to play with her. In my opinion. Mike and Wood. Hideous, man. Well, Mike and Wood, you guys are what I call a trash dude. Yeah, I mean, it's disgusting. Oh, that was fun. Well, hey, we are running a little bit late. It's the Mikey Show without Mikey today. You got me, Woodsy, Jay, and L.O.B. But, you know, Mike, even though he's not here, is contributing to the Mikey Show. Send us a parody. We're going to play it for you next. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.

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2:05:25Wherever you go, Chevy Cruze is ready to keep you connected with the MyChevrolet and OnStar Remote Link mobile apps. You'll be all set to check diagnostics, unlock doors, contact roadside assistance, take calls at the touch of a button without taking your hands off the steering wheel with available Bluetooth technology for select phones and more. Requires Android or iPhone platform and active OnStar subscription, which is included for six months. Go to gm.com slash Bluetooth to find out which phones are compatible with the vehicle. Visit your local Chevy dealer or chevydealer.com. If your car battery is over four years old, replace it before it fails with a proven tough Duralast battery only at AutoZone. For dependable starts all year long in any weather, get in the zone. At Mossy Nissan, they know you've done your research. That's why they give you their lowest rock-bottom price right up front, clearly marked on every new Nissan. Drive better for less today at all six Mossy Nissan locations and at mossynissan.com. We'll start you off right here on the 80s bound at the 67 North Connector. I don't see a backup, but there is something, a stalled vehicle in the middle of the road.

2:06:25Different story here on the 52 westbound. We do have some backup from Mass Boulevard to the 125 south between 18 and 30 miles an hour in that area. Another problem, we've got a road closure on the 163 northbound Robinson Avenue off-ramp. They've closed that. Then there's a problem over here on the 5 northbound at the 163 northbound. Another stalled vehicle, and things are starting to back up behind there. This report, it's brought to you by Buick Certified Service experts. They'll take care of your Buick. You just enjoy the ride. To help make sure your Buick is ready no matter what the traffic or weather brings, visit BuickCertifiedService.com. They've got service offers and everyday value pricing. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Service Report. This is Bird from Bird Search Head with the FM 94.9 Authentic Service Report for a Thursday morning being brought to you by Mossy Nissan. Mossy Nissan will pay you cash for your car. Go online, mossynissan.com. Check out the details. Surf-wise today, a little bit of a west-northwest increase. Touch the south joining in with it as well. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm an odd guy. Woods. Put a donut on the back of the toilet, I'll eat it. Lauren. No, nice is in now. Nice is the new black. And Jay. All right, don't...

2:07:45Now, don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. It's the Mikey Show. We are back. Mikey is still out. Hysterectomy. Gallbladder surgery. He's recovering at home, and hopefully he's feeling much better. On the line right now is M1 Diet Cokehead. How are you, my dear? How are you doing? We're doing good. How are you doing? I'm fabulous. Good. So tell us what you wanted to tell everybody. Well, on 8 to work this morning, I was on Claremont Mesa Boulevard at a light laughing like a fool at that creepy baby girl bit. Oh, hey, baby girl. I was laughing so hard at Lauren and my little comment. Literally, I was crying. I was laughing. And there were these two dudes in a car next to me staring at me because I was laughing so loud.

2:08:48And one of them goes, what are you listening to? And I said, I'm listening to the Mikey show on 94.9. I said, you have to turn it on. I said, this will kill you. So they turned it on and then we went to the next light and they were still listening. Look at you. Well played. The power of a big mouth. I love it. It gets you in many, many doors. It is a winner. Winner, winner. Definitely a winner. I wanted to say to my soul sister from South Jersey, congratulations. Oh, thank you, my dear. If you didn't hear, LLB got engaged over the weekend. Finally got engaged. Gosh darn. Legit, when I saw the post, I yelled yay so loud that I woke up my neighbor's baby. Wow. LB, I have a legitimate question. Okay, Jay. When is the baby due? Oh, Jay. Oh, my God. Her face is priceless. I mean, I just thought there had to be a reason. Yes, there's a reason. He loves her. Anyway, what else do we have coming up? It didn't take him long.

2:09:50Oh, Jay. Thank you, Diet Cokehead. Well, I love you all. Love you. Thank you. Little angel. When is your retirement, Jay? Oh, you're dead, Jay. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As soon as I can. All right. You're dead. You're dead. Moving on. Our friend Mikey is out. He did not have a hysterectomy, as Jay said. He did have his gallbladder removed. Yes. But he was kind enough to send us this little nugget. Enjoy. Gonna grab my ankles, going to hold on tight. My gallbladder's not dealing right. My bottle's always been that my butt is wide, wide. Wait till tomorrow to eat a whole damn pie. I'll eat enchilada dinners at least twice a day. Shove it in there. And you know I ride a burrow to get home every day. Thank you.

2:10:58Mikey's been working on his appetite. Looking forward to eating till pigs can fly. Running, forking, not together, makes the sparks at night. And the thought of losing weight is mighty unexciting. Oh, bladder's not right. Oh, my God. Doctors delight. Doctors delight. Oh, my God. Doctors delight. Doctor. Doctor. Seamless. I keep that as good as I am. Wow.

2:12:07Yes, I'll have another sample of food from you. Of course, why wouldn't I? Oh, my God. Ice chips. Who eats ice chips? Oh, my God. I will have a donut. A sopapilla. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That is owed to our Mexican host. I guess Mikey couldn't find the karaoke version. That is the karaoke version he told me. Not. But they have backup singers in this one. That was interesting, Mikey. Not as good as normal, but okay, Mikey. My heart is racing. That's one of my favorites, Doctor's Delight. Doctor's Delight. So Mikey was saying that he's the Doctor's Delight. Yeah, because his golf ball is not feeling right.

2:13:12That's one of my favorites. That will be replayed today. There's no question about that. Also, so we're going to do a quick clip for you. This one's a very quick clip. It's Busey. Gary Busey. Busey. So Gary Busey has filed for bankruptcy in U.S. court. Oh, boy. $500,000 in debt. Half a million dollars in debt. Yeah. And so to avoid... potentially dozens of creditors. This guy who is mostly known now for like reality show stuff is going to have to file for bankruptcy. 67 years old. That's right. Busey. Gary Busey. Hey, Mikey. Hi, Gary. This is Gary Busey. He's whistling. Well, he does when he's not whistling. It's just the way I talk. It's just the way he talks. He shuts him out. I'm going to storm out of here. I need half a million.

2:14:12I don't even have half a dollar. You don't need it, Busey. Gary Busey, you don't need it. I'm tired of this man bankrupt. You know what it stands for? What? I like to do anagrams with people's names. They're called Buseyism. Buseyism. I forgot. Yeah, you do anagrams. You might be Mexican in kind Egypt. That makes sense. Does that make sense? M-I-K-E, Mexican in kind Egypt. You would be. Mexican and kind Egypt. Mike. M-I-K-E. Okay. Does that make sense? J is jump and yell. J. Jump and yell. Now that does make sense. Jump and yell. J. Wow, that's good. That's right. Yeah, it does make sense. Bankrupt, Mike. Banks are now killing real ugly people to carry you. That's abusive. Banks are now killing real ugly people. to carry you. They probably are. Busy. Suck it. Wait, that was the word bankruptcy? Yes. You spelled it out there? Banks are now killing real ugly people to carry you. That's OB. Man, good. It was. How about L-O-B? Lips on butt. How about lots of booty? Lots of beer booty. Lots of busy.

2:15:42Oh, wow. Lips on butt. How about lips on Busey? Oh, wow. How about... How about shut your mouth? Oh, that's funny. Well, Gary Busey is quite a character, and he's very fun to talk like this. He whistles. Busey. Busey. Busey. He whistles. Busey talks. You look so creepy. Yes, my nose is smack. You are basically French kissing the microphone. I wanted to apologize, first of all, to Jack in the Box, because they are reporting net first quarter earnings of $12 million, which is down sharply from one year ago. I've been on a diet since the beginning of the year, and they are a San Diego-based firm. They pulled in more than $32 million in net revenue in the first quarter of last year. That's when you were eating. Yes. I mean, they killed it last year because I killed it last year. Fat boy. Yes. There are 900 stores here in California. You've been to them all. You can name them all, can't you? Yes, I can. Have you been to all 900 or is it more like 732? I've been to, well, I've tried probably everything on their menu. I'd say at 400 to 500.

2:17:06of their stores. They take a big hit since I stopped eating. I went one time this year. And they saw a big jump that day. They saw a spike. Stockholders were pleased. You basically almost shut down that one individual one from everything you ordered. The one here in Mission Valley. It's been tough. There's a lot of businesses hurting now because I'm on a diet. McDonald's is probably not doing as well as they were. The Burger King down here in Mission Valley is probably not doing as well as they were. Any place that sells food, I guess. Donuts. Well, food. Just food. Yes. Dr. Pepper is in trouble. Right. I eat all organic now. Look at me. I'm Joe California. Wow. All right. What are we doing next? Oh, are we doing the isolated audio? Yes. All right. So we get a kick out. Well, I say we. I don't want to speak for everybody. I get a kick out of. I love it. Isolated audio tracks. So what they do is they take the song. They take all the music out of it. And then you're left with. Just a vocal track. Just a vocal track. We played one from Whitney Houston last week, I think. And it was absolutely stunning.

2:18:10These are kind of cool, and then there's one really funny one. What's the first one you got? I'm going to do Robert Plant. Oh, in. I mean, the guy's a legend. Hit it. Wow. That's freaking awesome. That sounds like Steven Tyler. Yeah, he does. That is freaking awesome. It's funny how they do that little effect on his voice. Yep. What you got next? I got Rush. Oh, this would be so huge. Oh, gosh, shoot me. I can't pretend the stranger is a long-awaited friend. Identical lollipop gills. 100%. Love that guy.

2:19:06When my wife hears Rush, she powers down. It's like taking the plug out of a toaster. I always say girls don't get it, but there's a few girls who definitely get it. My wife gets it. Yeah, Hillary loves. Hillary, our midday gal, she loves Rush. But you go to a Rush concert, there's seven women there. This one surprised me. Nirvana. Kurt Cobain. It's perfect. Wow, isn't that cool? I think these are so loud. He's rolling Nova Selleck in the background. Wow. So you're Butch Vig, and you're doing that record, and you hear that come out of the booth. I mean, it blows you away. How cool is that just to be able to sit in the booth and go through the different tracks? That's so rad. What's the next one? Now, this one's hilarious. This is David Lee Roth and the fat guy from Smash Mouth. This is like a mashup. Yeah. It's David Lee Roth running with the devil, and then it's Chubbs from Smash Mouth. Chubbs. And doing, I don't even know what song this is because I'm not a Smash Mouth fan like you are, Jay.

2:20:22This one will get you. We're going to let the whole thing play because it's that good. All right, good. California got sunshine. Hanging out with your friends. Yeah, yeah. Setting up for a good time. Just want a million so you drive the brand new Benz. It's days like these you really want to have now. That's what I'm talking about. And don't you know it's days like these that make you want to chill and enjoy the ride. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh my God.

2:21:25When you're listening to it, just imagine a picture of David Lee Roth, that long, straight hair. A gold outfit, way too tight a pants. You can see everything. The Smash Mouth guy is just as bad without music. Oh, yeah. Just as annoying. He's just as bad. Is there more of that? There's a little more. I love it. Oh, my gosh. Like nails on a chalkboard. That is outstanding. He's like a cartoon. David Lee Roth. David Lee Roth. I don't know how he does it. Just kicking his leg. Oh, my God. How much time do we have, James? We have about a minute. We got a minute? Okay. When we come back, we got some more cool stuff for you. Google is working on something that will absolutely blow your mind. When we come back, I will tell you all about it. Right?

2:22:23Yeah, you just pulled a Mikey. Oh, wow. Next song. There you go. Just Mikey'd you. Yeah, you just Mikey'd me. Also, we're also going to do this story. What can you predict about a person by looking at their Facebook profile? Like if you looked at Jay's, you'd know he was a creep. Yeah, clearly. Well, yeah. Clearly. We will be right back. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection.

2:23:18Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. Tonight is a big night. We are doing a Dave and Buster's happy hour. I'm going to be there hanging out. We've got such cool prizes. I was talking to our promotion director, Adam, and, man, he hooked me up with... tickets to the sold-out Red Hot Chili Peppers show, which I've never seen. They're on my list. I asked him for a pair. He told me, absolutely not. We're giving them away to M1s and listeners tonight at Dave & Buster's. We got Rise Against tickets. I got a pair of goggles from Spy, too. I've got killer prizes. So it's tonight. It's at Dave & Buster's. It's from 5 to 7. We're going to be shooting hoops, throwing the football. They got this cool game where you get to play quarterback. I'm going to be giving away CDs, T-shirts, all kinds of stuff. Just come out. Hang out with me. They've got half-price selected appetizer specials and drink specials. And they have a late-night happy hour with unlimited video play with the purchase of a power card. That's Sunday through Thursday, 10 p.m. to close. I'll be asleep by then, but you can come out and, you know, come at 5 and stay till close. That's how it works. Come see me tonight at Dave & Buster's in Mission Valley, 2931 Camino del Rio North. Eat, drink, play. Richard Evelyn was on a recon mission. Yep.

2:24:29House hunting for a three-bedroom craftsman cottage. It was a trap. It was an open house and a busy one. They were being overrun. A lot of people did seem interested, but we made an offer on the spot because we were pre-approved for a mortgage with Navy Federal Credit Union. Called in the big guns. Really nice and helpful for big guns. Three and a half million members. Three and a half million stories. From every military branch, DOD and their families. Navyfederal.org. Federally insured by NCUA. Equal housing lender. At Tully's. We can tell our coffee is slow roasted to perfection by the way it sounds. Our master roasters recognize the subtle distinction in the popping sounds that coffee beans make throughout our unique slow roasting process. So they know when the beans will provide their richest and fullest flavor. At Tully's, we make coffee with our ears. Eye-opening, huh? Try Tully's Coffee in bags and K-Cup portion packs for Keurig brewers. And discover why we say, the slower the roast, the better the cup. Tully's Coffee. Worth discovering. San Diego's number one volume Subaru dealer just got even better. Kearney Mesa Subaru has opened a brand new showroom in the heart of San Diego. We're celebrating by inviting you to our grand opening event. In honor of our new showroom, the factory has sent us a special shipment of top-selling Subarus. This means we're making deals so you can save big. Lease a new 2012 Subaru Forester 2.5X for just $199 per month, plus tax. It's an automatic with roof rails, alloy wheels, and Bluetooth.

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2:28:16Discount is off regular-priced in-stock merchandise that fits inside one bag. Good at participating stores February 25th only. One bag and offer per customer. Other conditions apply. See store for details. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now's the time. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. You can save thousands on our entire fleet of service loaners. Buy, not lease, a 2011 BMW 328i sedan for only $289 a month. That's right. $2.89 a month at 0.9% APR to own a beautiful 328i sedan. And with 0.9%, these will go fast. Plus, you'll get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year 50,000-mile warranty and zero-cost maintenance plans. Hurry into BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real and see why the ultimate driving machine was the number one selling luxury vehicle in the United States in 2011. Click BMWEncinitas.com. 2011 BMWs for $2.89 a month are going fast. Test drive yours today. According to 2011 annual sales from Automotive News data, center 60-month tournament 0.9% APR $5,999 to its signing and one final payment of $9,869.40. With above average approved credit, must finance with BMW Financial Services. Offer expires end of month. This report is brought to you by Subway February. It's back at Subway restaurants. Any regular footlong, it's a $5 footlong starting at 7 a.m. Come in, get any regular footlong, only $5. Well, there's a lot of stuff going on.

2:29:37We'll start you off here on the 5 northbound at the 163 north, a stalled vehicle, and that 5 northbound, it's hell, okay? That's what it is right now. It's slow on the 5 northbound from the 15 north all the way down to the 54 east. It's about 14 miles an hour averaging. Then you have an accident on the 5 northbound right past E Street to make matters worse. right around East Street. It's about 13 miles an hour. Looks like you have another accident over here. We'll take you over here onto the 8 westbound of the 15 south connector. No injuries there, but you're going to find a backup. And the 805 northbound before the 52 eastbound, another accident that's got things backed up. This report brought to you by Children's Advil. Nothing will bring your child's fever down faster or keep it down longer. Choose Children's Advil. Relief you could trust. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. We're back. It's the Mikey Show. Without Mikey, he got his gall...

2:31:08Nose job. Did not get a nose job. He got a nose job. He got his gallbladder taken out and down a whole size. His gallbladder or his nose? His nose. Got the Michael Jackson. Rest in peace. We've got some cool stuff coming up for you. But first of all, LLB, what is going on in the news? Oh, man. So we told you that last week the CHP was going to crack down on distracted driving, and they did. There were three juveniles cited and 467 adults for driving while talking or texting on their cell phones. You guys know the minimum fine for this is $159 for a first offense or a repeat offense, $279 plus a possible moving violation. So get your hands-free devices. Some good news for people who are going to be traveling on the 78, which is probably most of you who are listening. They have begun breaking ground on the expansion project, which is along Route 78, along the Escondido and San Marcos city limits. It's right on that Nordahl Road overpass. It's a $41 million project. And they have said that that bottleneck along State Route 78 has become one of the worst in Southern California and is currently the worst in the county. So hopefully that will help. So I still have a pothole on my street that's like eating the tires off my car. You and your potholes.

2:32:35But they're going to put 41 million. Maybe you swerve and avoid it. Make trouble for everybody else. It's just dangerous with me swerving on my road. There can't be too many people on your street. There are thousands of people that travel on the 78 every day. Hundreds of thousands of people. Patched pothole. Patch it yourself. Who do you have to know? Patch it yourself. Put some sand in there. Pau Gasol had 24 points and nine boards last night as the Lakers barely won over the Mavericks, 96-91. Former Laker Lamar Odom did not play due to family reasons, whatever that means. Also, so this is the story that we wanted to talk about. This is awesome. Are you ready to get your own Terminator glasses? Yes. dorky sunglasses that look like terminator glasses i mean like the real terminator glasses that you know arnold wore in terminator that had information what do they do oh my gosh who is your daddy and what does he do it's not a tumor what are the glasses let's say come with me if you want to live let's say l.o.b that you're uh in new york okay and you're looking at the empire state building and you have these glasses on okay

2:33:47It will tell you information about the building, local deals, and whether or not you have friends nearby. Oh, my gosh. Google is working on these. This is like augmented reality. Yeah. They have it on your cell phones now, but now they're going to have it just on glasses. So people are going to be more distracted when you're talking to them. They're like, hold on. I'm seeing something right now. Yes, exactly. Thank you. Or in New York City. I don't know if you guys have ever walked around in New York City. Yeah, many times. Everyone that is a tourist just stops in the middle of the most hustle and bustling little area and just takes a picture all of a sudden. Will they be x-ray? I do not think they will be x-ray, Jay, but it works through a combination of GPS, a wireless connection, and a small built-in camera that monitors everything you're seeing in real time. And you know how you scroll? Tilt your head. So you can see a lot of people like, tilt your head. Dude, there's going to be a new carpal tunnel, but it's going to be for your neck. Tilting your head. Wow. I wonder if they'll eventually get those for like while you drive. They are going to be on sale before the end of this year.

2:34:50Google is working on these bad boys. I don't want that, but I want the jet fighter thing in my car where everything's displayed on the screen on your windshield in front of you. So it's like my text will come across. You don't want these? I want these. I think it's just something else to distract you. I feel like it'd be cool to rent them if you're going to go see a place. Be like, oh, it's like your own little tour guide. How stupid will people look? They're going to be dorky looking, too. I bet you they're going to be dorky looking. They're going to look really dorky. And I guarantee you I know someone that will want to purchase them. Oh, yes. I actually saw a pair of these, though. I looked up the news story when you brought it up. And they look like normal sunglasses. Do they really? This will be our friend Mike. There will be no question that he will put in an order for the new Terminator sunglasses. And then we'll go somewhere with him and we'll be like, hey, Mike, aren't you going to come see the next destination with us? And he'll be like, I'll be back. I'll be back. Holy cow. Get it? Where's the cricket? I got it. I got it. Terminator glasses. I totally bought it. Right? Oh, my God. And then he'll do his. There we go. It's so loud. It's so loud. Wow.

2:35:58So we're not that far from flying cars, is what you're telling me. I'm serious. They're going to have real Terminator glasses that you can buy. It's insane. We're the Jetsons. Yeah, we are the Jetsons. I'm going to get a robot made, and I don't want to hear another word about it. Absolutely. According to researchers, LOB, from Northern Illinois University, an employer can look at your Facebook page and tell what kind of employee you'll be. Do you buy it? Yes, absolutely, I do. Absolutely. I buy it, too. I'm very perceptive, as you all know. Some call it women's intuition. Others call it a killer instinct. Yes, Magnum PI. So I feel like I can tell a lot about a person in about 30 seconds on their Facebook page. So if you looked at my Facebook page today. Okay, should I do it right now? Yeah, do it right now. I will type it in. Yeah, type it in. Facebook.com. And you tell me what kind of employee I'm going to be. Okay, well, first I see. There's a picture of a dog. Yes. For your picture. Correct. So I'm like, oh, he's a sweet guy. He probably doesn't wear the pants in his relationship is what I would think. True story. Oh, but then look at here along your timeline of pictures. There's a bunch of burlesque girls.

2:37:03And there's a pair of legs right there. And if you clicked on that picture. My interest would go to the pair of legs first. Here I am. Oh, I would like this guy to work for me. He seems like a sweet little guy. Maybe a pushover. Oh, my gosh. He's in drag. He's dressed in drag and he's bending over. Wow. I don't want that guy to work for me. All of a sudden. Not to derail us too much, but. My legs look pretty good in that pit. They did look pretty good. L.O.B. said she almost vomited, and I said, no, you didn't. You thought to yourself, guys got decent legs. No, I don't. She wasn't engaged. You won't taste. No, that's, no. It doesn't. Guys dressed in drag pretty much doesn't do it. But the legs. I'm just talking about the legs. Guys' legs don't really do it for me. I like thick, meaty legs. I have very skinny legs. You got bird legs. I do have bird legs. My dad has bird legs. Thanks. A million. But anyway, the people in Human Resources look at Facebook pages. When I was a recruiter, I looked at Facebook pages for a couple of reasons. One, if I got a resume from a Lauren O'Brien, before I looked at the resume, the first thing I did was type in her email to Facebook. Then I would look and I'd go, oh, look at her. She's very foxy. What if she was completely private like it all locked up? Then I wouldn't.

2:38:20That says a little bit about the person, the privacy thing. It could be one of two ways. It could be like, what are you hiding? Yeah, what are you up to? Or it could be like, smart person. Doesn't want everything out there. He's not going to put all their cards on the table. Exactly. Exactly. I'm looking at Woods' profile picture and I'm like, you know what? I see a lot of pictures of him and his wife. I see him playing guitar. Looks like a huggy kind of guy. Very huggy guy. He's got pictures of kids in here. Oh, moms and grandmothers. Oh, wow. It looks like a good guy. Yeah, he's a good kid. And cute dog. I still say you can't judge somebody by their Facebook. Dogs that look like people. You can't judge somebody by their Facebook, but you can get a good idea for the kind of lifestyle that they live. Now, if I told you guys this story, I've told it on the air. We used to hire not only salespeople, but managers of salespeople. So we were opening a brand new office. And I want to say that it was the launch of the San Diego office for this company I worked for, Reach Local. Now, we were interviewing managers. I get a resume. I look at it. I go.

2:39:22seven years selling yellow pages, four years selling radio, blah, blah. It looks like a good fit. Put his stuff in. Cause I want to see what the guy looked like too. See if he's a sharp guy on his, I think it was my space, but it was under his profile picture. It says loves to look for drunk as bitches. Oh boy. That was the first thing I saw. And I went, you told me that you only like to hire girls with big knots. Never said that. That is not 100% true. I said that they have a leg up, but I'm not saying that we own it. Or a boob up. A boob up. Yeah, anyway, on that note. I will say one thing. What? Don't take this the wrong way, Woods. If I saw your current Facebook, I would think great sales rep, probably not a good manager. No. Which I know is not true of you. No. But I would say that based on your Facebook. Yeah. Because you look like a hothead. I am a hothead. You look like someone who likes to stir up things. I'm a hothead manager. And is emotional. But I knew you were a good, I know that you were a good manager. I was a good manager, but I am a hothead. You can't tell everything from a person's face. That's true. But you know what you can do is you can look at it and say, oh.

2:40:28That girl likes to go out and blow it out till 3 a.m. every night. Or that guy likes to look for drunk ass bitches, you know. And if you take a picture of yourself in the mirror as a guy. It's immediate disqualification. Girls, you can get away with it more. Guy, you're like, no, you're not working here. That is an immediate disqualification. And if I see you and maybe I'm thinking about adding a potential friend to my life. Right. And you're flexing in a mirror. I'm not going to be your friend. I'm sorry. I'm that guy. Call me a jerk. Call me a D. I'm not friends with you. I'm prejudiced. Yeah, I'm prejudiced. I'm prejudging you based on your picture. Exactly. You know why? Because you're a douche nozzle. That's why. A douche nozzle. No offense. If the nozzle fits. Yeah, no offense. Do we have a best stuff clip, J-Bert? We do. What is it? We have stuff I found out about my parents. All right. So, hey, listen. If you're out there and you're listening and this tickles your fancy and you want to call in, maybe we'll take a couple calls. Yeah. We have time? M1 Judy from San Diego, are you there? Yeah. Hi, how are you guys? Hi. What did you find out about your parents that was weird? When I was in high school, I found out from my mother that we actually have an older sister and my dad when he was in Vietnam. Oh, wow. Yeah, she didn't find out he had a Vietnamese wife and a daughter, a three-year-old daughter, mind you, until the night before her wedding. No!

2:41:51Wait, the night before her wedding? He came clean? He came clean the night before? Not quite. Oh, boy. What happened was she said he had taken her for a walk, and he dropped his wallet accidentally, and stuff fell out of it. Oh, no. She found, like, an old picture of a woman and a baby. And she goes, oh, who's this? Because she thought she knew all her family. And he looked really kind of ticked off with himself. And he said, well, I have something to tell you. When I was in Vietnam, I had a wife there, but the U.S. wouldn't let me marry her because, you know, we were in a war. Wow. And I had a wife and a three-year-old daughter there. That is insane. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Was she mad? Yeah, was she mad? Yeah, she was kind of picked off, but when he told the story of it, of what happened and how he's convinced that they're dead. He said the area. Okay, that got real weird. That got real weird. That got weird. Well, and this is your dad. Yes, my dad. Holy cow. And, I mean, for, you know, anybody that, you know, knows me, my dad is, like, just strict, you know, very religious, like, not really the kind of BS kind of guy. Wow. That's crazy. M1, Randy from La Jolla, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead, Randy.

2:43:16Hey, so this is another daddy story, but it's not as crazy as this last one. So I'm 16 years old, and I'm with my dad and a bunch of his old friends, because one of his old buddies from growing up passed away. And he's introducing me to everybody, you know, at the party and at the memorial. And then he introduces me to this woman, and he says, Hey, Randy, I'd like you to meet my ex-wife, Paula. And my parents at that time had been happily married for 20 years, never once mentioned. that he ever had an ex-wife, and you can only imagine how freaked out I was as a 16-year-old kid. Oh, yeah. Oh, hello. Yeah, hi. How are you? It's nice to meet you. How are you? This one is a little bit more lighthearted than that. Mikey, my parents just got themselves a new Mac about a month ago and didn't know there was a back button on the Internet until I showed them yesterday. In other words, when you're on a... You hit the back button to go to the page. Oh, no. Wow. They didn't know. Hey, look, I can go back. And forth. And forth on the Internet. I was very surprised in my youth to find out that my father was a DJ at a disco. What? A DJ at a disco. When I was little, I found, like, these crates of records. And they were all...

2:44:41stupid disco records, right? I'm like, what's the deal? He's like, oh, it's a DJ. He was up there with, you know, spinning record. No, it's probably not spinning, but full-on shirt unbuttoned down to, you know, belt. Yeah, oh, yeah, full-on. Hairy chest, gold medallion, the whole bit. Yeah, their stuff, you know. He was a full-on DJ. Wow. That's fantastic. At a disco, which I was just shocked because he was uber businessman, you know. Right. Don't say uber. Yeah. You find anything out about your parents? Well, my mom, she always used to say how she didn't drink. She didn't drink. She was a good girl. And then she told me recently about how they used to steal her friend's father's car. They would put it in neutral and roll it out of the driveway and go see my dad. Oh, wow. Because my dad worked about 45 minutes away. And they used to do that. And then she also told me that in the woods, they had one of those like pits. So they dug it out. They put a couch in there. It was like a little hangout. And then they had like a... In the woods? In the woods, yeah. And then they had a plywood thing that they... They built a whole... Wait.

2:45:42They dug a hole deep enough in the woods to put a couch in. Yeah, a couch, like a record. I don't even know if they had an actual. It was behind somebody's house. And so maybe an extension cord. I don't know. She said they used to hang out there. And she's like, the guys would smoke. I wouldn't smoke. Yeah, of course. Wouldn't you? And they covered it up by having plywood and they glued leaves to the plywood. That's outstanding. Yeah. Well done. Very well done. Sounds like something Jay would do. Absolutely. Sounds like something Jay. has in his backyard. He just sees camo netting now. Camo netting. What I hope is that Jay's kids don't have to find things out about Jay. I just tell them. Oh, gosh. Can you imagine finding things out about Jay? He probably has a lockbox. Yes. That you would make Larry Flint shutter. Yeah. My parents have the lockbox and you always find it. You always find a way in it. I found stuff. My dad was in Vietnam as well. And like handkerchiefs. With, like, love and then names that I didn't recognize. Oh, wow. Yeah. Did you call him on it? Yeah. Hey, Dad, what's this? But my mom's like, oh, you know him. He had his Vietnamese sweeties while he was over there. Oh, my God. So I could have some half brothers and sisters out there, too. Oh, my gosh. Your mom said that? Yeah. She knows that he was, like, a wild. She's like, he was a pot-smoking, hallucinogenic SOB when I met him.

2:47:07So we know that he was over there. He was doing some stuff, Lauren. He was whoring around over there, Lauren. Lauren, listen, this is just something you're going to have to come to grips with. I was the good one. My gosh. That's fantastic. So, Gary, we're back. That was a lovely best of clip about what you found out about your parents. On the line with us is M1 Anna from Oceanside. Anna, what did you find out? My parents were in a bar in Lucadia, and I was... Oh, wow. My God. That wouldn't be the Lucadian, would it? No. Oh, okay. I've been on that pool table. You're a creep. Why would it say that on Yelp? Some guy was like, I walked into the bar and they were filming porn on the pool table and they were shut down so I had to leave.

2:48:08Did you talk to your parents? No. Oh. You should. You should definitely call them out on that. I didn't even want to. I wonder if I could make extra money opening up my house for that. Maybe I'd do that. Oh, yeah. It's like times are tight. You're like, well, what can I do with the space that I have? And I'll just go sit in the guest room and you guys do your thing and let me know you're done. Cut me a check. That's freaking fascinating. Thanks so much for the call. You could do your hot tub. Yes. You can have your hot tub. Smells like bacon. My hot tub smells like bacon. I had a big white person problem yesterday, and it was that my hot tub, I opened the deal. I went to the gym, and I was sore, and that's my kind of, I just chill in there in the afternoon. Open it up, it smelled like bacon. That's weird. And it was real murky, and I'm like, Jay was in this SOB right now. He was in there. Are you cooking fat in there? Yeah. Yeah, clearly. Look at him. Boiled meat. So was it before or after you sat in there? I didn't get in the day before. I don't know what I'm doing, so I try to eyeball chlorine, and I just pour a little in there, turn the thing on, let it kind of run through, and I'm going to check it today, but I don't know what I'm doing. It sounds like you need muriatic acid. Or muriatic acid. Is that what it is? Yeah. Either one of those. You should read a book or look at a YouTube clip or something. Nah. That's too much work. Wow. It's okay. It's only your skin and all your organs. I'd rather just get E. coli or something. You know what happens.

2:49:36into your skin, goes inside your body. Is that right? Yeah. Your skin is the largest organ that you have. Not mine. But it smelled like bacon. It was hideous. So you're probably just cooking your pancreas. I would say stop using it as a latrine. What's a latrine? A restroom. Well, sometimes you can't help it. You're using it as a latrine. Sometimes. What's wrong with you? You've never done that in a pool? I'm just waiting. Maybe a pool, but a hot tub. I rest my case. You know how much smaller a hot tub is? I rest my case. And it's cooking. Fine. Leave me alone. The hotter something is, the more bacteria can grow. Fine. You're right. I'm wrong. Speaking of grossness and bacteria, do you guys watch the show Hoarders? I've seen it a couple times. I have seen the previews and it made me rich. It is fascinating.

2:50:32Fascinating. I've seen a ton of them. They talk about these people and they go to like a couple different people's houses in each episode. And almost never from what I've seen can the people like recover and let go of stuff. Really? They go through this like painstakingly long process of like, yes, that goes. Yes, that stays. And the stuff that people are like attached to that they won't let. It's literally like a bumper. And they'll be like, no, I need that. You know, it's not. It wasn't their bumper that has sentimental value. It's a bumper that they found and they're just. holding on to? Sometimes it's sentimental value. Sometimes people are like, they want to sell parts. I saw this one. The guy had like hundreds and hundreds of cars on his lot and he wanted to sell them for scraps, but you had to like take them down and he'd been saving them for years and the city was like, you're going to lose your land. And he still did not want to let go of the cars. I have a neighbor that is a hoarder and they have bumpers. Like a literal hoarder. Oh, 100%. Bikes, barbecue pits. They have a storage facility on the back of their property. And they go through everybody's trash cans. Oh, my God. You're kidding me. Their vehicle's full of cans to the top of everything. Then there's all their front yard. The city comes by every so often and incites them. Yeah. So they take all the stuff that's on that property, and they have another property in another area, and they take it to it. So the city finally got smart and incited them both houses at the same time, and they had to clean out. It's insane. But it's horrible. I've seen, like...

2:51:56Probably, I don't know, maybe close to 10 episodes. I've never heard one so bad as this recent story that I read. Okay, it's a guy in San Jose, 58-year-old guy. He has such a big mess, you can see his pile of junk from Google Maps. There is no way. Yeah, the satellite photo, you can see his stuff on there because the pile had gotten so big. That's a big pile. Yeah. That is, that's, there's something, there's a, you're missing something in your head. Something's not clicking. Usually when they do that show, because they bring in a cleanup crew and they also bring in some sort of psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever the difference between the two. One of them can prescribe meds. Right, right. The other one can't. Yeah, so anyway. They usually find it's deep-seated in something. It's never really... Sometimes it's just people that, like, they grew up poor, maybe, and they don't want to let go of things. So, yeah, this guy, I guess some local ABC station got a hold of this guy, and they're giving him mental health treatment, and it's going to be a two-month cleanup. Two months. You can almost place a bet when you're watching it is when they're going to find the cat carcass.

2:53:04They usually have a box, they roll it over, and then there's just a set of bones of a cat. Yeah, well, this guy's been saving stuff for 40 years. So I guarantee there is, there's stuff under there that's probably worth something. There's probably dead things. I can't, I can't watch that show because it makes me, I saw one and the preview made me wretch. Because the guy that was like cleaning, he wretched, so I wretched. Yeah, there was one where the lady would only throw stuff away in her fridge if it was puffy. And so she would keep things past like three years. And the guy that was pulling out was going. And she's like, no, it's still good. Took it off, sniffed it. And he was like. That is so freaking hideous. Well, this is the Mikey show. We are doing a hybrid show today. Mikey is out. Hopefully he'll be back tomorrow. We're not sure yet. But when we come back, we're going to tell you about a San Diego police officer that resigned yesterday. Our opinions on this situation might shock you a little bit. We'll be right back. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. What's up there, Sea Urchin? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out, like tonight. San Diego and Alan Bear present the beautiful view and the new kinetics at Tiltu Club. Ra Ra Riot with the submarines are at the belly up. Hyenas at the casbah, and you can see low volts at Lincoln Room tonight.

2:54:35Saturday night, Nervous Records will play Anthology with Midnight Rivals and Grand Tarantula. Flogging Molly Red House of Blues, March 6th. Silent Comedy played the belly up with Dead Feather Moon and The Howls, March 8th. And Lagwagons at House of Blues, March 9th. And still to come, shows from Pussifer, Polyphonic Spree, Cults with Mrs. Magician, Transfer with Blackout Party, Rise Against, M. Warden Firehose, Tune Yards, and St. Vincent. And two weekends with Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Hey, Woodsy, what did you think of those beautiful BMWs that you saw yesterday? I was down at BMW of Encinitas having a blast. Just opening the doors, looking inside and going, well, that's it. I'm sold. I got to get one. It's a number one selling luxury vehicle in the United States in 2011. This place is so beautiful, so spotless, and the way that you get treated when you go in there. It's the ultimate service plan, too. Not only is it the ultimate driving machine, they got the ultimate service plan. Zero cost maintenance for four years or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first, and they are selling you. You can buy a 2011 328i sedan for only $2.89 a month, and that's a $3.

2:56:03A 328i, a 2011 328i. 0.9 for 60 months. That is perfect. Get down there. Check them out. It's BMW Encinitas. They're on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or you can also find them at BMWEncinitas.com. Original, inventive, latest and greatest. There are lots of ways to say fresh. And Mercedes-Benz is yet another. Take the 2012 C-Class with its aggressive body styling. completely redesigned interior, and more fuel-efficient turbocharged engine, the C-Class sedan boasts over 2,000 refinements. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2012 C-Class, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Lease the 2012 C250 Sport Sedan, an IAHS top safety pick, for just $349 a month for 33 months with $4,009 due to signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hone Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. Are you diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and using an insulin pump?

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2:58:51Simple solutions that work. It's just amazing. Plus, what to do if someone is having a nightmare. Should you really wake them up? What's in it for you? All new on The Doctors. Today at 4 on ABC10. There's a new news leader in San Diego. 10 News. More people have made the switch, making 10 News the number one choice for news in the evening. When you want news, turn to 10 News. San Diego's news source. Business as usual. We think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My best friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow.

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3:00:48At Kearney Mesa Subaru, we have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru brand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. Sun Road Automotive, serving San Diego for 35 years. 2012 and present leases model CJB for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter and 4,555 due at least signing. No security deposit unapproved above average credit. One of this payment BIN 007286, number one claim space. At Vons, we're lowering prices on our organic produce because we think that going organic should always be an option. When it comes to wellness, come to Vons. Ingredients for life. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners your neighborhood. Toyota dealer is the right place to maintain your Toyota because nobody knows your Toyota better than the Toyota factory train techs. They use quality, genuine Toyota parts. Wow, we got a lot of slowing. We're going to start you off here on the 805 northbound Claremont Mesa Boulevard. There's an accident there on the 805 northbound before the 52. Doesn't look like any injuries, but it's got a nice healthy backup behind it. Also swinging over to the 94, you're going to find delays at 94 westbound from the 5 south swinging all the way into Lemon Grove. Massachusetts Avenue is where it stops slowing. It's 28 miles there and then picks up speeds at Lemon Grove Avenue. And then some backup over here on the 67 northbound Mapleview Street.

3:02:1418 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Smile Brands. Need to see a dentist today, have an emergency or a toothache? Bright Now Dental has same-day emergency appointments and 56 convenient locations in Southern California. Call 888-BRIGHT-NOW. They're for teeth. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz bergamot body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all-American man, okay? I eat Kraft American singles. That's right. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for this jugular. On FM 94.9. Old school GNR for you. It's the Mikey show. We are back. We are without Mikey. He is out. And hopefully we'll be back tomorrow. Jay, fill me in on the San Diego sergeant. What happened with that guy? Man, this is a sad story. Sergeant Kevin Friedman had served with the department for more than 26 years. He resigned yesterday. I think he was kind of forced to resign because he is in a ticket fixing scandal.

3:03:34He fixed the ticket of a district attorney, deputy district attorney, Allison Wood. Warden? Warden, yes. It was a simple ticket. It was a safety belt ticket. And she was a passenger in the car. She was a passenger. She was a passenger. She gets a ticket. She gets pulled over. She gets pulled over. And she immediately pulls out the card like, hey, do you know who I am? Oh, no. So I wonder if she was just like, I can't have stuff like this on my record. And he's like. Well, the officer that pulled her over said. Too bad. You know, I don't care who you are. You got to have the ticket. So the ticket went to the precinct sitting in the basket. She went and talked to this guy. Oh, gosh. And he pulled it out of the basket without even consulting the arrest or the issuing officer. And so then as soon as they found out, they have a zero tolerance policy on this thing. So they just like both of them. Both of them are done. If it's the rules, if those are the rules, if there's a zero tolerance policy on it, I'm like, all right, you knew the rules. You broke them. Yeah. But. In my mind, in my world, if I can do a favor for you, I'll do a favor for you. You know what I mean? And it's like, yeah, but then it's all people in power. Only people that are paying for tickets or poor people are people that you don't know. Well, or a friend. I mean, haven't you kind of been like, if you get one of those cards and when you put it on your visor and you're like, you know, you get pulled over and you're like, hey. I got friends. Yeah. Yeah, you talk your way out of it, but don't big time them.

3:04:59And the other thing is it's a $50 ticket. Now, this guy has no career. He's 26 years. Now, what does he do? Yeah, over a $50 ticket. You know, I've always just kind of been like, if I can help you out, I'll help you out. But I don't want to break the law. And if that's the law, then, you know, it's the law we can live with. We all bended the law a little bit. Hey, click it or ticket. You've bent the law like a madman. I've bent the law. I've looked the other way. I've done some things under a table. It just sucks. 26 years of doing good and one mistake and the guys can't. Everybody makes mistakes. I think it's unfair. You're looking at a guy that's made a million in his life. Luckily for me, I've gotten thousands of chances. You just try not to make them anymore. You learn your lesson and you try not to make them anymore. I'd say that's a little hard. Yeah, it's a little bit harsh, and I feel bad for the dude. Hey, we are going to replay this. Our Latino host, Mikey, is out. He is our diminutive Latino friend, and he got his gallbladder taken out, but he was able to contribute to the content of the Mikey show with this gem.

3:06:33I'll eat enchilada dinners at least twice a day. Perfect. Seamless. And you know I ride a burrow to get home every day. It's true. Mikey's been working on his appetite. Looking forward to eating till pigs can fly. Loving forking not together makes the sparks at night. And the thought of losing weight is mighty unexciting. Scallbladder's not right. Doctor's Delight. Jay is mouthing every word. I am not. Yes, you are. Doctor's Delight. Doors Delight. Doctor's Delight. Yeah. Doctor. Get out this morning, not feeling so right. This could not be served. I wouldn't buy it. Got a big burrito and I think I might try. Nibble a little after lunch. I love it. Go. Yes, I'll have another sample of food from you. A sample of food. Of course, why wouldn't I? Is he at Costco? Ice chips. Who eats ice chips? Oh, he's at the hospital. Where they always have samples of food.

3:08:11I will have a donut. And donut. Sopapia. Mexican hospital. So good. All right, we got to go to break. When we come back, we got one more Best Stuff clip for you. And I want to tell you about Kanye West's charity and its mismanagement of funds. We will be right back. Part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now's the time. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. You can save thousands on our entire fleet of service loaners. Buy, not lease, a 2011 BMW 328i sedan for only $289 a month. That's right, $289 a month at 0.9% APR to own a beautiful 328i sedan and with 0.9%.

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3:12:59military. San Diego's number one volume Subaru dealer just got even better. Kearney Mesa Subaru has opened a brand new showroom in the heart of San Diego. We're celebrating by inviting you to our grand opening event. In honor of our new showroom, the factory has sent us a special shipment of top selling Subarus. This means we're making deals so you can stay big. Lease a new 2012 Subaru Forester 2.5X for just $199 per month plus tax. It's an automatic with roof rails, alloy wheels and Bluetooth all for just $199 per month at Kearney Mesa Subaru We have a great selection of new and certified pre-owned Subarus. We're also San Diego's number one volume certified pre-owned Subaru dealer. Don't miss the Kearney Mesa Subaru brand opening event going on now. It just makes sense. Just minutes from anywhere in San Diego or visit sandiegosubarudealer.com. Sunroad Automotive, serving San Diego for 35 years. 2012 force releases model CFB for 42 months with 10,000 miles per year with 15 cents per mile thereafter and 3,555 due at least signing. No security deposit, unapproved above average credit. One at this payment, then 40, 32, 78. Number one claims based on 2011. The Subaru Sales Report offers expire month end. The cities within San Diego, as well as the port, the airport authority, and the county have joined together to address stormwater pollution prevention. Storm drains and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, pet waste, pesticides, and other pollutants, flows untreated directly into local waterways. Learn about how you can help prevent pollution in your area and ways you can make a difference at thinkbluesdregion.org. At Tully's.

3:14:27We can tell our coffee is slow roasted to perfection by the way it sounds. Our master roasters recognize the subtle distinction in the popping sounds that coffee beans make throughout our unique slow roasting process. So they know when the beans will provide their richest and fullest flavor. At Tully's, we make coffee with our ears. Eye-opening, huh? Try Tully's Coffee in bags and K-Cut portion packs for Keurig brewers. And discover why we say, the slower the roast, the better the cup. Tully's Coffee. Worth discovering. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hoenn Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. This report is brought to you by IHOP. The Lorax is at IHOP. Try the Lorax's green eggs and ham with whole wheat pancakes and make it an IHOP day. For a brief limited time at participating IHOPs, the Lorax in theaters March 2nd, rated PG for brief mild language. What we've got, still some slowing as you travel on that 805, the 805 northbound before the 52 eastbound. Those speeds aren't great yet.

3:15:25There was an accident there, and you've got slowing all the way as you travel to about the 163 northbound, about 17 miles an hour. Looks like the 94 is still pretty slow. You're going to find delays from the 94 westbound, 25th Street, all the way into La Mesa, and those speeds about 23 miles an hour. It is a little better, though, on the 8 westbound, 15 south all the way in the 8. It's about to Center Street, Fletcher Parkway. It's about 36, 40 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Mercedes-Benz San Diego. This just in from Mercedes-Benz. The car your dreams can now be the car in your driveway. Drive the C250 sports sedan for a low lease of only $349 a month, but only from your local authorized Mercedes-Benz dealers. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons boots to go out with a tall girl. And even then I'd be shorter. Woods. And my back is not fat. My stomach is. Lauren. I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. And Jay. I never said I could do a cold read. I said I could act. I'm an actor.

3:16:44What's he saying? He says, welcome back. It's good to be on the Mikey Show. He wants to know where Mikey is today. Laser hair removal. And he says, oh, I've had that done in a couple of places. He says, Jay, you should consider it too. You should get it off your mole. Oh, no. It's the second time in two days Jay's made me snot. I'm not kidding. I've got a bit of snot in my nose. We've got another best self clip for you. Which one's this one, Jay Bird? This is an email about a guy burning candles in his own apartment. Okay, yeah, and then when we come back, I'm going to tell you all about Kanye West's mismanaged charity, and then we will be getting out of here for the day. So, feast. Do I have this email printed? No, Jay's printing it. Okay. Tell me what you think about this. Mikey, I love your guys' show, and I followed you, Mikey, from Rock 105. I hear you guys read emails from people, and I think mine qualifies. My boyfriend has great taste in clothes, style, and obviously women. JK, smiley, winky face. Well, I never really noticed the candles in his apartment. I know it seems like a big thing to girls, but I just didn't notice.

3:18:11The only reason that I did notice is because they've been lit and blown out. Either he loves to relax with candles, and then in parentheses she put, not around me, mind you, or he lights them for another girl. What do you guys think, M1 Sarah? Wiener time. Girlfriend notices candles in dude's apartment. They've been lit because the wick is black. If the wick's not black, it means they've never been burned. It's a candle, but it's never been burned. Okay. Either dude loves to just chill out. He likes to chillax with some candles on. Kenny G. Kenny G and a glass of Chardonnay after a long day's work after he throws his heels off. It's either that or he's got a girl coming over. Not...

3:19:16Her, by the way, not Sarah. He's never lit these candles around Sarah. Power outage. Like it. Look at that genius in there. Mike, I've given every excuse she can possibly. Hey, I got a little book that I go to sometimes. Kim will call me, where were you? And I flip to it. Laundromat. Fixing somebody's washer. Fixing a spare tire. I was washing windows. I got this section in there called, what do you do if candles have a burnt wick? Say the power went out. The power went out. I don't think he's using it on another girl. No. Since if he didn't use it on her, Sarah, that wrote the email, that's not his go-to move. It's not his move. Yeah. Maybe it's not his go-to move with her because she's stated in the past. I like crazy Sarah. Hi, I see some candles have been burned. You must be cheating on me. Really? That's like something I would do. Oh, boy. Well, she's asking. Yeah. Yeah, I think she's insane. Maybe you ask him.

3:20:19Crazy. She doesn't want to sound crazy to him. She'd rather sound crazy to us. And thousands of people. I don't think she sounds crazy. She sounds like a detective mind, which many women have. Yeah, I don't think she sounds crazy. Stupid detective minds. I don't know that the guy's cheating. But I do think it's, first of all, guys that have candles. Creeps. Yeah. And I know because I used to have... As did I. As did I. You know why I had them? To have sex to a girl. Yeah, because I wanted girls to think that it was nice when they came over. I wanted to make sex to them. It puts out a good smell. You know, when you walk into a house and there's candles burning, it kind of hides some of the smells. We're not talking about the patchouli hemp oil ones that you get. No, no. We're talking about candles. I mean, if you have a dog and there's all the cooking smells. One candle is okay for a guy to have. Yeah, one is fine. If a guy has more than one candle, it's... I like candles in each of the bathrooms.

3:21:12That's because you poo in there, dude. Everyone does. That's because you like guys, too. Well, yeah, there's that. There's that. That's not true. I love candles. Poo candles is acceptable. Yeah, you can have a poo candle in there. Poo candles is acceptable. Everybody's got a poo candle. And then one in the living room to cover the smell of foods that have been cooking. The smell of marijuana cigarettes. Yeah, you can cover that up, too. Or incense. What if you have them in the living room? Just one. If you've got votives. Just like a little display of them. What? When you're not here, what? Yeah, okay, fine. I admit it. I'm sorry. I never told you this before. When you're not here, sometimes I like to listen to freaking Kenny G, okay? And yeah, sometimes after a freaking long day at construction, I come home and I'm freaking tired and my feet hurt from those steel-toed boots. And I like to rip them off and I like to take a freaking bath. Yes, I said it. A bubble bath. I like to take a bubble bath. Okay, I admit it. I go to my motives. I like to light a couple of candles and put some Kenny G on and pour a glass of Reuniti on ice. You know why? Because I freaking work hard and I'm tired. Okay? And blow and blow. I have one Kenny G song.

3:22:45It's Songbird, okay? It's freaking Songbird. Is that okay? It's the only one anybody knows. It's the only one anyone has and anyone knows. It's called Songbird, okay? If you must know, I have Songbird. I listen to it with my feet, relaxing in a cold or warm bath, depending on my mood. But I'm not gay and I'm not having sex with other women. Yes, I lit the candles. Safety hazard. Kenny G comes walking out of your bedroom. Just blowing. That stringy long hair. Whipping it around. That Afro glow. Oily. Yes, that oily, slick of hair. I'm sure he's available. Blowing and smiling all the same time. I just want to say, if you are over 50, and I'm saying this without, with extreme prejudice, if you are over 50, and you made love to this song, I don't care that it was popular. I don't want to know you. I don't care that it was popular. I don't give a crap if it was the number one hit song in America at the time. You are a creep. I don't want to know you. If you made love to this song, I don't want to know you. I don't want to know you. You should have your history on your computer looked into. Oh, yeah. You are into anime. Oh, big time. German.

3:24:22Wow, I could listen to that song all day. We've only got a couple minutes left. I wanted to tell you about the Kanye West story. So he has a foundation. I should say he had a foundation called the Kanye West Foundation. The foundation spent in 2010 $572,000 on things like salaries, wages, benefits, professional fees, travel, conferences, meetings, and other expenses. Guess how much they contributed to charity? Zero. The year before, 2009? when they had $553,000 in expenses, they did contribute, settle down, $583,000 to charities. $583,000, you mean? No, no, $583,000. Yeah, he, I don't know who he has managing his foundation, but they basically ran it out of business. It's a good tax break. You know, some weeds, some chicken wings, some, you know, he loves orange soda. That is true. Maybe a little too much since they spend too much money on it. Here is what we learned today. L-O-B has a little man in a canoe. Ooh, row, row, row the boat. Look at you guys, mind melding. This is perverts. Just perverts. Down the stream. Jay has made it clear that he wants to travel Europe with his wife in a VW van. Yes, our 48-year-old producer. I'm all in. And his son is in Europe right now and is spending the majority of his time in pubs. As will I. As will Jay. And about me, we learned that I...

3:25:46sometimes pee in my hot tub. So that will do it. Every time you get in. That will do it. And we are out of here. It's the Mikey Show. Thank you so much for hanging with us the last couple days doing the hybrid show. We think our friend Mike will be back tomorrow, but we're not sure. You need to tune in anyway. His eye plants are going to look so good. His butt plants. Yeah, implants. 5.30 tomorrow morning. We are now about to kick off 94 minutes of commercial-free rock and roll. The Mikey Show is out. Get...