The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/27/12
Monday, February 27, 2012
oscars 2012silent filmsasha baron cohen pranknick nolte interviewcarmen electra interviewtiger woods golfbuzzword gamemike always hungry parodyoscarssasha baron cohenthe artistnick nolte
The Mikey Show broadcast covered Oscars 2012 highlights including Sasha Baron Cohen dumping ashes on Ryan Seacrest, The Artist winning Best Picture, and Jean Dujardin winning Best Actor; featured a disastrous live phone interview with Carmen Electra who refused to answer any questions, Nick Nolte discussing his pet crow and pinball machine; debated the artistry of silent films; recalled Tiger Woods' 20-year golf milestone; ran a buzzword game with egg-related answers; and included L.O.B.'s parody song 'Mike's Always Hungry' about Mike's eating habits.
What happened, in order
Show Opening & L.O.B. Music
Mikey opens the show from 5:30-9, mentioning L.O.B. has a musical genius piece that might cause recovering listeners to split their gut.
Nick Nolte Pet Crow & Pinball
Nick Nolte visits, proudly confirms he had two crows and a pinball machine you couldn't tilt, leading to a quiz about true/false ownership.
Carmen Electra Interview Disaster
Carmen Electra does a live phone interview but stonewalls every question, especially about her recent breakup with Dave Navarro, making it excruciatingly uncomfortable.
The Artist Silent Film Debate
Mikey and Woods debate The Artist, a black-and-white silent film winning Best Picture, with Mikey convinced even L.O.B. would change her mind after seeing it.
Best Director Michel Hazanavicius
Discussion of Best Director award going to Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist, with Mikey struggling to pronounce the name and eventually settling on 'Michel.'
Sasha Baron Cohen Dumps Ashes on Ryan Seacrest
Sasha Baron Cohen arrives as the dictator with an urn picturing Kim Jong-il, dumps ashes all over Ryan Seacrest's Armani tuxedo, and the hosts debate whether the bit was staged.
Buzzword Game: Egg Edition
Mikey hosts a buzzword game where callers guess terms related to 'egg' (eggnog, Easter egg, timer), with chaotic and funny results across Mike, Lauren, and Woods.
Mike's Always Hungry Parody Song
L.O.B. writes and performs a song 'Mike's Always Hungry' with vivid lyrics about Mike eating turkey legs, drinking gravy, reaching for bagels, which gets rave reviews from the panel.
People mentioned
mikeywoodsl.o.b.jayemilysasha baron cohenryan seacrestnick noltecarmen electradave navarrojean dujardinmichel hazanaviciustiger woodsearl woods
32,511 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Let's do this thing. It's 5.30. Mikey's show on from 5.30 to 9. Then I am back after my surgery. You guys did great. You guys did really good filling in. Did you have fun? Yes. We did. We did. Later on, I am going to hear a little piece of musical genius from our girl L.O.B. You might not want to listen to it if you're recovering because you might split your gut. Yeah. Well, I can't wait then. I know that people on Facebook say that it's awesome. Awesome. It's pretty awesome. It's pretty genius. And I haven't heard it, but it's about me. Yes. And all of you guys sang it together. Yes. Wow. I already know. I already know.
Just prepare to be roasted. Oh, yeah. You're on the spit. I am going to be on the spit. Well, I'm Mikey. Welcome to the program. Give us a call, 570-1949. Oscars, didn't see, didn't see, but have a lot of audio. Woodsy, saw, about an hour. Yep. And so we'll go into all the stuff later. And so I was trying to break it down and go, well, what will be the highlights? What should be the stuff that I hit on? How about Nick Nolte talking about his pet crow and pinball machine? Nick Nolte joins me now in performance in Warrior, which I actually watched last night. Now, this is your third Oscar nomination. Congrats. Excited. Now that you're here all dressed up, are you a bit itty-bitty excited? Well, you know, if I knew what you said, I could probably answer you. So I'll say yes, yes, yes, and no. You're excited. He means that, by the way. Yes. Yes, I'm excited, of course. I have a little quiz for you. Is true or false you own a pet crow? What did I do? Do you own a pet crow? Oh, I have a crow. You do? Oh, yes, yes. I've had two crows. True or... I had John David Crow, who was in U-Turn. He's actually featured U-Turn. Oliver used him a lot. He liked him. And true or false had a pen...
machine that used to predict how well your movie would do. Is that right? I had a pinball machine that you could not tilt so you could run up scores quite high. I hope it predicts Oscars. Huh? I hope it predicts Oscars. Oh no. It doesn't predict Oscars. Thank you for joining us and masses of luck tonight. Alright, thank you very much. Oh boy. That is a failed interview. That was not, that didn't go well. Maybe you get somebody, I don't know, I mean. She was a little difficult to understand. The guy's like 70 years old. That is true. That was a strange interview. So uncomfortable. Oh, God. Beyond, which is why I had to play. You know immediately, the first time after he said, I can't understand you, she started sweating profusely. Definitely. Have you interviewed anybody that they just didn't get it? I don't know. No, I'm trying to think. Because when I was at Coachella last year and we had to interview the Black Keys. Yeah. Those guys were just not giving it back to you. And after the first time you ask a question that they look at you and they're like, what? Immediate sweat just pouring down your whole body. Yeah, but you know me. You know what I'm like. That happened with Carmen Electra. Right. And I said to her, why are you on the phone? Oh, God.
And I meant it. Yes, of course. And she said, she goes, because I'm promoting blah, blah, blah. I'm not here to talk about da, da, da, da, da. She was on the phone while she was on the air? Yes. This was an interview. Was it a live interview? Live interview. Wow. And she said, and I think she had just split up with Dave Navarro like the day before. Oh, wow. Or that day. It was like some big news about, I mean, it was. The news story of the day. Right. And I remember that we were like, wow, can you believe that of all days we have Carmen Electra? Right. And I asked her about something. She didn't want to talk about that. Because what I do is I ease into, I don't go straight for the. Yeah. Because then you lose them. Right. You have to reel them in. So it was like, you know, yada, yada, yada stuff I was trying to ask her to begin with. She didn't want to answer the yada, yada, yada stuff.
I'm talking, she didn't want to answer, so, you know, you've been successful with da-da-da. How's your kids? Like, nothing. Nothing. She didn't want to answer anything. She's giving you nothing. So, I remember that one went bad. It's such an uncomfortable feeling. Like, when they're just not, they're not into it. Yes. Scott, the lead singer at STP. Wyland. Yes, we've had our issues. Crazy. We've talked a couple of times and had issues a couple of times. Same thing. My standard bit is why are you on the phone? Why are you doing this? Why aren't you responding? You don't want to do this. Why are you doing this? You clearly don't want to be doing this. If you're not going to give it to me, just don't give it to me and get it. If I'm thinking it, there's probably a lot of people wondering.
Why is he doing that? Yeah. So, yeah, that was uncomfortable. At first, I thought you meant she was in the studio talking on her cell phone while you were interviewing her. Nope. I was like, wow. No. I'll tell you this about Carmen Electra, though. She's a good looking lady. Yeah. I bet in person. It's unbelievable. Yeah. She smelled good? No, she wasn't on. She was on the phone. Oh, she was on the phone. I thought you said a live interview. No. It was a live interview. But not in person. On the phone. Got it. Yes. So she was sitting in front of you then. Remember when Mike said on the phone? Yeah, but I thought you meant she was on the phone, like in front of him, like texting. No, she was sitting there, and I said, why are you doing this? And she looked at me, and I looked at her. But she wasn't there. I want to laugh so bad, but it can't hurt. I want to, but I can't because it'll hurt. Oh, wow. And Woods makes me laugh. Yeah. Woods gets me. Please go easy on me, please. Yeah, totally. Totally, I will. Oh, jeez. It actually hurts. I believe you. Stand up. I know, that's better, right? Yeah, absolutely. Isn't it? Aren't you standing right now? Oh. That would mean that you were actually tall. Yeah. And I'm not. If he thought that you were standing while you were sitting. Yes. Oh, you're so tall, it looks like you're standing. Yeah, but I'm.
I'm not. I'm short. And that was... Oh, you guys, I'm worried. Should be. Yeah. We got funny stuff today. I know. What are you going to do? I don't know, because it freaking hurts. Does it really? I haven't done this yet. Think about, like, puppies. Like, puppies that are sick. Yeah. And... Here's the deal. At this very second right now, it doesn't hurt. Right. It doesn't hurt at all. Like, nothing. But then all of a sudden... How about if I went... Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my ragtime gal. Is that anything for you? No. Not you? No. Come on. When you make me laugh. Give me something. When you make me laugh, it constricts those muscles, and then it does. But there's just movements that I'll make that I'll go, ow, ow, ow. Very ginger. It's very ginger. Go easy on the movements. You shouldn't call your redheaded gallbladder. Ginger. Ginger, yeah. So, I hope this goes okay, you guys. I don't mean to be a diva. I'm sorry, dude. No, dude, you're hurting. I can see in your face. No, not at all. No, not at all. Nice Bieber. Uh-oh. That's the guy you're going to have to worry about. That's the guy, not me. You're not saying a word. I'm worried about you. I'm supportive. I'm worried about you. If I won the lottery, I would give you each a million dollars, I would apologize, and then I would just get the hell out of town.
I'd say, I'm sorry for what I put you through, and I'd get the hell out of town. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Right. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Okay, we do. We got a lot of stuff. Woods, when we get off the air, I'm going to tell people on the air what will happen off the air. I'm going to say to Woods, what do I do? And that's exactly how it would happen. I'll go, what do I do? I don't know. What will you say to me when I say, dude, what do I do? Because I ain't leaving. I'll tell you, go lay down. Maybe that'll help. Yeah. Might help. So do something. Run a microphone over there, T. You can just lay down. Yeah. It's true. It feels way better standing up. Oh, does it? Than sitting? Sitting, yeah. This is only a million times better. That's good, dude. Than when I was sitting. Okay. Sasha Baron Cohen was the story last night. He was the story.
He took over the Oscars. Of course. Because he came in as the dictator, which I want to see. Absolutely. And this guy, man, he's got an urn. And the urn has a picture of Kim Jong-il on it. Unbelievable. And he dumps it on Ryan Seacrest. Oh, gosh. He sure did. He sure did. It was unbelievable. And we've got audio of it. We'll give you the audio in a little bit. Let me give you this to Sacha Baron Cohen. Sacha Baron Cohen. This is a video statement in character. That's his bit now. Good morning, great Satan of America. How are you? I am fine. Thank you. On behalf of the nation of Wadiya, I am outraged at being banned from the Oscars by the Academy of Motion Pictures, Arts, and Zionists. While I applaud the Academy for taking away my right to free speech, I warn you that if you do not lift your sanctions and give me my tickets back by 12pm on Sunday, you will face unimaginable consequences. Furthermore, it is an act of aggression that nobody in films have been recognized by the Academy. Where are the nominations for such classic films as When Harry Kidnapped Sally? You've Got Mail Bomb.
or Planet of the Rapes. Oh, gosh. On top of all of this, I paid Hillary Swank $2 million to be my date, and she will not refund a penny. There you go. Oh, my gosh. That is unbelievable. That was what got him re-invited back. How did they see that and be like, all right. All right, come on back. He's sincere. We're sorry. Yeah, he won't mess with us this time. Darn, I can't. He's a different. He's a different level. There's a different level and he's got it. Well, to dump ashes on Ryan Seacrest takes balls. The biggest, maybe the biggest balls in this country, possibly. There is no doubt. Gosh, he's good. Jimmy Kimmel did a funny bit. He did a thing where he got a bunch of famous people together and he did a fake movie called The Movie. Starring Ed Norton, Josh Brolin, Antonio Banderas, Colin Farrell, Charlize Theron, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Jeff Goldblum, Gary Oldman, Cameron Diaz, Samuel L. Jackson, J.J. Abrams, Martin Scorsese. Wow. And it's real. And I will play you a couple of seconds of it. This was on his show last night. Every so often, a film comes along.
With a guy, a girl, a werewolf. At a wedding. Between the world's most dangerous secret agent and the president of the United States. We complete each other and we complete America. With a no-nonsense rookie gun. I'm not going to make it. And a dog. Who plays sports. It's go time. Because sometimes the impossible doesn't happen. For me, Andy, you're my only friend. I can't play all of it for you, but can you believe all the people? That's crazy. That's pretty awesome. That's a lot of work. A lot of work. That was actually Ed Norton. Best picture last night we'll talk about, but it was the artist.
I finally saw it. Woods says, there's just no way. There's just not a chance. You can't do it. I just don't think I can do it. You can't bring yourself. You should try before you. Yeah, you know, I just, it's just not my scene. The arty artist. You'll say that and then you'll like it. It doesn't seem arty though. Really, a silent movie in 2012 doesn't seem arty to you. Well, conceptually. Is it just supposed to be ironic? Right. What's the deal? Yeah. Yeah. Now listen, I saw the guy's speech last night. Sharp guy. I'm in on the guy. Jardin, I don't know what his name is. But he's a good, he looks like a good actor, but it's just so not my speed. His name is Jean Dujardin. Dujardin. Jean Dujardin. He was funny. Yeah, and, you know, it isn't artsy, the movie itself. Isn't it in fact artsy because it's silent? I guess the concept. And the concept of it being silent. Yeah. What about a black and white? Would that be the same thing? Totally arty. Yeah. I never saw Ed Wood with Johnny Depp because it was black and white. Yeah. That's Schindler's List you guys saw. I never saw that. Black and white. Is it because it was black and white? Yeah. For real? Yeah. Because I thought everybody saw it. I never did. Never did. It's sad. That's what I heard. Yeah. And I know maybe some people didn't because it was sad. Yeah.
But the artist, it's good. It's good. Is it? I liked it. Why put it out in theaters? Why do you need that massive surround sound for a silent film? It's the big picture. Because the story's so good. Is it? It is, apparently. It's so good. I guess. It won. Yeah. It won because it's so different. Yes, it won because it's arty. Okay. LLB and I are on the same page on this. It tugs at your heartstrings. Yeah. There's a story inside there. Tugs at your heartstrings. Yeah. Put some sound in it. Have a little dialogue. Stupid. No, that's what makes it. And see, I thought, well, if the movie is about that era, I mean, because I am, if you don't have an interest in that era, forget it. I thought of you while I was watching it weird. Yeah. Because I knew you didn't want to see it. Very weird. Woods. Yes. Is there a picture of a guy with his shirt off in it or something? No. Why would that be me? Because anytime I say anything that is even remotely positive about you. No. It's when you think of him in weird situations. Well, I knew you didn't like the movie. You didn't want to see it. Yeah, I don't want to see it. So while I was watching it, I thought, well, what about rock and roll? At one point, rock and roll had its beginning. Yes. Wouldn't you want to see a movie about the beginning of rock and roll? Absolutely. And wouldn't you want to hear the beginnings of rock and roll? Yeah, I've heard them. Okay.
I like them. Now, here's the deal. With silent films, they just wanted to present it to you like you would have it presented back then. And what I found was, oh, I realize why this whole movie thing took off. I realize why it took off. Yeah. It's a good point. Because this is pretty badass. Yeah. Now I get why it even continued, you know, to the talkies. Yeah. And so I was convinced upon leaving. that even someone with L.O.B. and Woods' opinion would be changed if they saw it. But I don't know. Maybe not. No chance. No matter what the story, it can't get you. No, because I'll be mad the whole time for not speaking. You don't need it. Did he win Best Actor as well? Yeah. He won Best Actor. For not speaking. It was fun. He had a lot of lines to memorize. Right. Well, and that's the deal. You had to act. Yeah, you really had to act. I've been in music videos before and the director says the same thing. It's actually harder to act in this because you don't have any dialogue. It's all your body language and your facial expressions. Is it? It's a bit. Well.
I don't know. I mean, I thought what he was doing was pretty good. Yeah, conveyed a message. I knew exactly what he was thinking and where he was going with it. And I thought to my... You guys are so smart. Well, wait a minute. I'm going to ask you a question. Is that Stephen Hawking and Steve Jobs over there? I know. Can I ask you this one? Yeah. What about the people back in 1929? Were they all a bunch of artsy people? No, but that's all they had. They hadn't seen the other side of things. Right. And that's the deal. Like, I... am interested in, now only as I've gotten older have I become interested in things like, last night I watched stuff on a war in Israel, between Israel and Syria. I would have never done that five years ago. Now I'm interested in history. I was interested, how did movies get their go? You know what we should do? In 10 years, for kids who've never seen VHS, we should release a movie in VHS. That's a good call. So they can see how it was done. They've actually done it. The film's called VHS. Oh, gosh. It's an actual movie. It's called VHS. Is it on DVD or is it on VHS? It's available on VHS, but it originally came out called VHS. So, yeah. I mean, if there was a movie. They've made a movie about the font Helvetka. Yeah.
There's a documentary called Helvetka. Now, I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it because it's a documentary about a font. Right. But this is what I do know before I've ever seen it. They got to have found something. Oh, there's some hook. There's got to be something there that I just don't know about. And then you go and you go, oh, son of a bitch. Look at that. But what if the documentary was only typed? in that font and there was nothing else happening. Then I would be screwed. It would win an Oscar. There's no question. I just figured you guys out. It would win an Oscar. I think I just figured you guys out. I'm going to try sitting again. I think that's where it gets you. You think, this is a boring movie, but people are pretending it is great. 100%. Definitely. I'll give you $100 to watch it. Woods. Yes. I'll give you $100 to watch it. If you don't like it, if you don't like it, you can keep the $100. What if I fall asleep? Oh, if you fall asleep. I'll fall asleep. You won't. If you fall asleep, I mean, you can't go there and go, well, I'm going to this movie to take a nap. Right, to take a nap. Yes. If you don't like it, you can give me the $100 back. How long is it? It's not long. It's only an hour and 20 minutes. Yeah. Don't lie to me. It's a true story. Don't lie to me.
I don't lie. 120 minutes? Yeah. It's an hour and 20 minutes. Oh, an hour and 20 minutes. Yes. Yeah, I'll do that. For an hour and 20 minutes. Done deal. I'd see it again. It's short. It's more than a dollar a minute. It's true. It's short. I'd see it again. But here's the deal. I want to do it so that Woods can go, you know what? Good movie. I'm going to give movies that I wouldn't normally give a try. A try. It's kind of like this. I have tried some food that on the outset looked disgusting. But then I try it and I go, how is it that this tastes good? I love bees a lot like me in the fact that we don't, I don't really like the hype machine. I bought in on Linsanity because I think he's a good kid. But like the hype machine. Yeah. So. But there's no substance there. The more, the more. Well, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's not necessarily true because there is substance to Linsanity. Oh, yeah. He's actually. overcome some great odds. Absolutely. So there's a, you know, to that level, no. In fact, I saw Moneyball and I saw The Artist and my dad said, which should win Best Picture? I said, Moneyball. Yeah. I said, Moneyball. That's awesome. But The Artist is a great movie. It was really good. It was fun. And different. It was fun. Like, as I was watching it, I was like, and the audience, you could tell, because it was packed. I saw it yesterday.
The theater was packed because everybody wanted to get ready for the Oscars. Yeah, everybody knew that thing was winning. I had to sit in the, you know, the seat at the very top of the stairs where there's only two seats off to the side. I had to sit there because every seat was taken. Wow. Yeah, everybody wanted to see it before the Oscars. And that audience was laughing. And it was so unusual to be in a theater. Where there was no dialogue and you heard people making noise as a reaction to what they were seeing. So do you still have to be quiet then? No, because they play music. The whole movie has music. They won an Oscar for music. Best original. And that's how they used to make those. You know, that brings up a good question. How the hell could they get music in those movies back then? Did they? Oh, yeah, they did. They had an orchestra. Oh, that's what they did. They would have an orchestra in the theater. They had an orchestra in the theater while they played the movie. Weird, I knew that. Yeah. Yeah. What were those like? Yeah, it was nice. Well, you know what you should do? You should go get a bunch of old Chaplin movies on DVD now and watch them. No way. I would be somewhat interested. I don't know if I watched the whole thing. I just want to see what the big deal was. Houdini, what was the big deal? He was a great magician. But I want to see a trick. Show me a trick.
Let me see what you do. He'll show you a trick. Real good. Get into a barrel and get out of it. And tie yourself up with chains and get out of it. I'll watch that. Niagara Falls. Yeah, absolutely. I really would do the $100 thing with you if you do it, Woods. The artist? I'd even see it again. Gosh darn, I don't think about it. That's enough. I have to double check on how long it is. I can't sit there for two and a half hours. I'll lose my mind. If it's an hour 20, would you do it? Yeah. All right. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Save big on indoor and outdoor projects at Lowe's. Right now, get 10% off all major appliances, $299 or more. Plus, get 18 months special financing on major appliances, flooring, and kitchen, cabinet, and countertop purchases of $599 or more when you use your Lowe's Consumer Credit Card now through March 4th. And when you buy your next two treatments of Scott's Fertilizer, you'll get 20% off both bags instantly. Lowe's. Never stop improving.
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Bancroft Drive, Kenwood Drive, about 49 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Mercedes-Benz San Diego. This just in from Mercedes-Benz. The car your dreams can now be the car in your driveway. Drive the C250 Sport sedan for a low lease of only $349 a month, but only from your local authorized Mercedes-Benz dealers. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything in here. Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times when I cook. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. And Jay. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. We have so much to go over that we just got to get right into it. The formalities I'm going to make quick work of. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I do not have a gallbladder. Woods is 36 years old. He's our sports guy. He does. L-O-B.
Has her gallbladders. I do. She is 31. Jay has his, right? Yep. And he is 47. Eight. And Emily, how old are you? Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. 19. 19, that's right. 19 years old. Emily's our phone screener. And you can call us and talk to her at 570-1949. We have so much to go over. You know, the Oscars, between the Oscars and... Daytona, all that stuff. Our own weather. This is according to the National Weather Service. Mikey's Weather Service. No, it is not. Mike's Weather Channel. Mountains. Eight to ten inches of snow. Eight to ten inches of snow. That's awesome. Missed that. Tonight. Quarter inch of rain on the beach. Perfect. Quarter inch of rain. Awesome. That's really cool. Having seven dogs. Oh, Woodsy. And when it rains, they love to go out there. You know what? They smell good, too, after they're wet. That's true. The best part is when they run out and they run back in and they're wet, then they jump on your bed and they'll lay on your pillow. It's awesome. Oh, gosh. There is a winter weather warning in effect. And it started this morning. It started eight minutes ago at six. It's in East County.
winds could get up to 40 miles an hour. Now, I know you don't think that's a lot. It is. It is. Yeah, it is. It is. When the wind is blowing 40 miles an hour, it feels like it's really, really windy, like bad. The brunt of this storm is supposed to move through later this morning and afternoon and trail off tonight. Driving conditions, they say, are the worst on the 78 and 79 and eastbound 8. What a drag. You're blowing some RVs over real nice. Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. My gut feels real weird. Does it? I bet. Yeah. Surgeries are so weird. Yeah. When you get done with them, you're so ginger and, like, fragile. You don't want to do anything. Yeah. I had my gallbladder taken out last week, and it is very unusual. It's odd. Yeah. All right. Oscars. It's the biggest thing. I'm going to give you the bigs. Best Picture, Artist. During the break, Woods said, no way. It's too long. Best Actor, Jean Dujardin. From, The Artist. Best Actress, Meryl Streep. Weird. For, The Iron Lady. Never even heard of it. She plays Margaret Thatcher. You play somebody, you're going to win something. Yeah.
Plus, if you're Meryl Streep, you're going to win. You're Meryl Streep. Yeah, you play a person that was real and you're probably going to win something. Like Michelle Williams almost won, you know, because she played Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. You know what I heard about that she said? She said that she would get so into character that she would talk to people as Marilyn. Wow. In her real life. Wow. She talked to the mailman that way. As Marilyn Monroe. She looked good. And she also. answered the door, and there was a census taker, and she did the same bit with that census taker. Method acting. Yeah. Really got into the role. Makes me want to see it. Yeah, me too. I read an article about that. She said she had to wear a lot of padding, which is what Marilyn did back in the day. And they also, on Marilyn's heels, they would saw off the bottom of one of them so that she wiggled when she walked. Wow, no kidding. Get a little jiggle in the step, too. Would he like Jean Desjardins? Yeah, I like that dude. Let's play a clip. This is him accepting best actor. Thank you. I love your country. Okay. Thank you to the Academy. It's funny because in 1929, it wasn't Billy Crystal, but Douglas Fairbanks.
who hosted the first Oscar ceremony. Tickets cost $5, and it lasted 15 minutes. Oh, wow. Times have changed. Yeah. So, thank you, Douglas Fairbanks. Douglas. Yes, Melissa. Your grandfather, spirit, and joie de vivre inspired me for this role. And so many of you here tonight have inspired me. Thank you, Michel. Thank you for... This incredible gift. Wow. Thank you, my wonderful partner, Bernice Bichot. Thank you, the wonderful cast and crew. Thank you. Cast and crew. I love you. Cast and crew. Kisses, Simon, Jules, Chloé. And if George Valentine could speak, he'd say, Wow, putain, genial. Merci.
Merci beaucoup. I love you. Wow. People were a little stunned. Wow. Yeah. I like him, too. I like the bit where he said the 15 minutes. He's like, back then, you know, 50-something, 70 years ago, whatever it was, the whole ceremony took 15 minutes to do the Oscars. How times have changed. It's like a four-hour event now. He's a talented dancer, man. He could move. Really? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Best supporting actor Christopher Plummer for the movie Beginners. Never heard of it. I keep passing it on on demand going, eh. Oh, I've seen that. Is it good? Mm-hmm. Very good. What does he do in the movie? Is he the older guy? Yes. He is the gay father. Of a guy that, what's his deal? He's kind of telling the story of like his life. Well, I don't want to give too much of it away. It's like his relationship with his father. Finding out that his father was gay and everything thereafter. He's a phenomenal actor, Christopher Plummer. I wanted Jonah Hill to win, and I put it on my Facebook that Jonah got robbed, but I haven't seen The Beginners. He was good in it. I wanted Jonah to win. I heard he was good. Let's see. And you can call us. Best director was the guy that directed the artist. Why did I say the guy that directed the artist? Woods?
You want to give that guy's name a crack? Yeah. Be my pleasure. That is... Best director. Michael. No, it's Michelle. Oh, sorry. Michelle. Michelle. How's the Vinicius? How's that? God bless you. How's the Vinicius? Ah. Michelle. Let's isolate that, please. Michelle, have us the Vinicius. Yes. Definitely. Yep. Nailed it. Best cinematography. What is it? Hugo. That's his name. He won for Best Director. Do you know how to say it? Hell no. How is this? Yes. That's what I said. I can't say it. I said the guy that directed the artist. Michelle. Michelle. Castancru. Castancru. Oh. This is M1. Harold. Harold. Hi, Harold. Hey. How's it going? Good. So the artist, I don't think that started out as a silent film, but when that guy started talking, he said, man, we got to do something because nobody can understand what you're saying. Yeah. Don't give away any of the movie. Yeah. I think he's doing a bit. He's saying that the guy that, oh, he's on. Oh, yeah. It's like, what the hell are you saying? Dude, you know what? Let's just make this a silent film. There you go. Yeah. That's probably what happened. Thanks, Harold. Harold.
My buddy, Harold. Harold. What were some of the big moments I missed? What did you see that you really liked? I liked this bit that Billy Crystal did. What they did was they flashed to people in the audience and their face was on a big screen. And he would go, look, when they put it on one of these actors, I can read their mind. What's going through their mind right now? So they go to Brad Pitt. And he laughs. He looks up. He sees himself. He starts laughing. Billy Crystal goes, this is Brad Pitt. This is what's in his brain. I got to get the hell out of here. I have six parent-teacher conferences in the morning. Wow. And then he does Nolte. And Nolte's sitting there. And Nolte's face is like all big and swollen. He's got his white beard. And he goes to Nolte. And Billy Crystal just goes, ugh, ugh. Like that. It was freaking funny. My gosh. Yeah. It was good. That's fantastic. I love this. Billy Crystal, he's got some jowls now. Yeah, he does. I noticed. He's got some jowls. He's an older guy. Yeah. Weird hairline, too. Yeah. Weird. Why Billy Crystal? Because he's good at it. Yeah. He's really good. He's done it a bunch of times. And after the James Franco, Anne Hathaway nightmare. Well, you know, it was supposed to be Eddie Murphy this year. And then he backed out. He backed out. So.
That would have been pretty awesome. That would have been pretty good. So the big thing last night, before the Oscars, before it even starts, out on the red carpet, Sacha Baron Cohen comes out. He's got a new movie coming out called The Dictator. And he's carrying an urn with a picture of Kim Jong-il on it. This will get you. This is Ryan Seacrest interviewing him. Is coming to the Oscars one of the best perks of whatever it is your job is? Yes, I love it here because it gave me an opportunity to bring my dear friend and doubles tennis partner, Kim Jong-il. It was his dream to come to the Oscars and to be sprinkled over the red carpet and over Halle Berry's chest again. Again. The interesting thing is actually...
There it is. Spills the ashes all over Seacrest's Armani tuxedo. The security, real security, came in and got him. Did you hear what he just said? Yeah, when he goes, have fun this evening, when he said that to him, he was pissed. And there were actual, like, guards. You know, security people. Wow. That came in and got him. The best line of it was, Sacha Baron Cohen said, when someone asks you what you're wearing, tell them you're wearing Kim Jong-il. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Unbelievable. Would you like to hear how Seacrest reacted? Yes. Would you? Absolutely. Well, guess what? I'm going to do a Seacrest and I will make you wait. Because after the break. I want to know. Oh, yeah. The reaction. I saw a bunch of people running in with towels and napkins and trying to clean him off. Dude, you're done. Oh, yeah. There's ashes all over you. I would be so mad. Oh, yeah. I'd be furious. It was brilliant. I would, too. It was really brilliant, and it was really funny.
If I was Seacrest, I wouldn't like it. No, I wouldn't either. You know, because you got a job to do, and now you look like a complete dork. Yeah. Or it's the biggest talked about thing, and now you're a part of it. For sure. He's already so talked about, though. I know, but yeah. He needs to be talked about. Is there any part of you guys that think it was staged? Because I heard that bit last night. I didn't think so either. I didn't think so either. No. I don't think it was staged. I think he was irritated. Yeah. Upset. Yeah. You know, listen, what are you going to do? It's Sacha Baron Cohen. You know what he's, you know, hijinks. Yeah. Guy's always up to hijinks. That's his bit. It's hijinks. I love it. Balls. He's got balls of steel. Expect the unexpected. Makes me so uncomfortable. It does. You see him, you know something is weird going to happen and you go, oh no. Yep. On this day, 20 years ago, Tiger Woods became the youngest. golfer ever. 16 years old. Youngest golfer in 35 years. Sorry. L.A. Open. Does that still exist? Yeah. The L.A. Open. He was only 16 years old 20 years ago today. That guy started out. He's golfing when he's like two. How the mighty have fallen. When he was like toddler. Yep. His dad was teaching. Yep. Earl. Earl Woods. Let's see.
So I gave you the rundown. I want to make sure I gave you the rundown. Cinematography, Hugo. Yeah, I gave you everybody. If you're just tuning in, Best Picture, The Artist. Best Actor, Jean Dujardin. Best Actress, Meryl Streep. Supporting Actor, Christopher Plummer. Supporting Actress, Octavia Spencer. For the help. For the help? Yep. She crying up on stage almost killed me. The crowd just kept going wild for her. Yeah. That's cool, man. Yeah. I mean, that's a great moment. I haven't seen that movie. You saw it a little bit. Oh, great. That's a great movie. I heard it's another one that tugs at your heartstrings. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Kimmel, man. He had some good material. It would be so welcome. A film comes along. Gosh, I meant to play you this one. I played you the wrong one. Sorry. I'm going to be off all day. It's going to be one of those days, guys. I'm sorry. Here we go. This is Jimmy Kimmel talking to Oprah Winfrey and giving her some pointers on how he thinks she should run the network. Remember on your old show when you gave away your favorite things? Those were your favorite things, right? Yeah. But now you don't have them anymore because you gave them away. On this show, you take them back.
Remember how everyone jumped up and down and screamed and cried when you gave them all that stuff? Imagine how much they'll cry when you take it back. I get a car. I get a car! That's cool that she can make fun of it. And she did. I thought that was cool. That was part of his Oscar special. My dad said last night, will Oprah be at the Oscars? That's a good question. Can any movie star just go? Yes. Yeah, right? Yeah, probably. You know, because I said, I thought, I don't know. That was a topic of conversation last night. Can any movie star go, or do you have to be nominated for a movie to be there? I thought you have to get invited to go. I thought so. Oh, really? That doesn't necessarily mean you've got a film out, but I thought you had to be invited. And it's probably because maybe you're an Oscar winner from the past or something.
I've never been, so. Me either. I've never gotten the invite. Can you imagine? I don't think I could go. Which would you rather? Grammys or that? Grammys. Really? Yeah, all day. Man. All day, Grammys. Me, Oscars. Yeah, Oscars. I would fall asleep. People watching alone. Yeah. Golden Globes would be the best, actually, because they sit at big round tables, everyone's boozing, having a good time. Yes. Oscars is very stodgy. It's very dolled up, very stodgy. Yes. That is a true fact. That's true. Golden Globes would be fun. One of my favorite moments last night, Tim Gunn, was on the red carpet and he was interviewing people. And my dad said to me, very serious, I think he's gay. I think? I think so. And I said, why do you think that? The way he talks. All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. He might be on to something. He might be on to something. Captain Obvious. My dad was great last night. My dad was killing me last night. He said... I just got Netflix and I can't find indigenous bastards. That's the line of the day, dude. You texted that to me yesterday. I started dying laughing. And I said, that's because it's called Inglorious Bastards. Right. Hence why you couldn't find it on Netflix. You can look all day. You're not going to find it. Look all you want. Freaking indigenous bastards. I can't find one freaking movie with them. I loved it so much.
You can call and tell us about what we're missing with the Oscars, what was a great moment. I was watching it, and my wife, Jamie, got so mad at me because when I was watching it, I go, oh, my God, what am I doing? I was getting really bored because they were doing the best visual effects, and it was just boring. Why did they do that on TV? I don't know. And then I remembered that the new episode of Eastbound and Down, I had just taped, and I was like, I'm turning this off. She was so mad. She was so mad. I turned it off and watched Eastbound and Down. Oh, and she was mad. Oh, she's like, that's on. You can watch that 50 times this week. This is on one time. So I recorded the rest of it for her. Oh, you're so sweet. Aren't I sweet? No. Oh, my gosh. Look, it's my favorite show. It's on. You can watch it anytime. Yeah, it's true, but I wanted to watch it on Sunday. You are mean. Why do they do the stupid on television? We don't need visual effects. Can't we do that? Do the big ones. Yeah. Make it an hour long. I don't know. When they did costumes, the part, I thought it was fascinating because they talked about in the beginning of the artist, his suit fit real good. And by the end, they had it real ill-fitting. That's probably why, because we can't all agree. As soon as you said costumes, I could tell Woods was out. I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. I don't care. Me neither. I don't care about costumes. But somebody does. Jay does. It was interesting. Jay loves costuming. That's why you got to.
He's all into that stuff. Makeup, costuming, all that kind of stuff. Let's play buzzword. Call us right now. 570-1949. You are going to pick one of us. It's going to either be me, Woods, or L.O.B. that you pick. What's the prize, Jay? I have a pair of SeaWorld fun cards. Good for all of 2012. Take it easy, buddy. I always have to look my sexy. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up.
Hi, this is L.O.B., and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And, Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's ovation cell therapy. You know how I know? How's that? Because I use it too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great. Thank you. Have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You too can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com, and remember, FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Today, my journey to help save people money.
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This report is brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent, they'll help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Well, it looks like we've got a lot of stuff going on here. On the 125 northbound before the 8 east, we've got a stalled vehicle. Another one over here on 11th Avenue on-ramp to the 163 north. A couple of accidents. Actually, there's three of them. The 805 northbound at the 54 East. You'll find one here in Chula Vista on the 5 northbound past J Street. And as you travel over to the 8, you'll find delays. The 8 westbound to the 5 south connector. This report also brought to you by IHOP. The Lorax is at IHOP. Try the Lorax's green eggs and ham with whole wheat pancakes. Make it an IHOP day for a limited time at participating IHOPs. The Lorax in theaters March 2nd rated PG for brief mild language. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Nuclear science is not my passion. Woods. You can take a turd and rub it in wasabi and soy sauce. Tastes like sushi. Lauren. It's not called Love Making Playlist, but it is my love making playlist for... And Jay. Yesterday we were out skateboarding on the ramp. And I'm thinking, I'm almost 50 and I'm skateboarding. That's great. I'm going to break a hip. On FM 94.9.
Our boy, Jared, over at createyourdesignonline.com is the greatest. You need something done? He can do it in terms of graphic design, let me tell you. He's done our website. He's done my business cards. Guy's amazing. Let's see. I did not give the word of the day. Word of the day is society. So sometime between now and nine, I will use the word society when I do. You got to be caller number nine. 570-1949. When I say the word society, you got to be caller nine. Let's see. More Oscar stuff coming up for you. We got plenty of Oscar stuff to do today. By the way, if you have anything that you want to talk about Oscar-wise, you know what struck me? Do guys, do we care in any way, shape, or form what a person wears? If it's... Like, if they look really cool, we're like, oh, that guy looks sharp. Because I mentioned this morning, I was like, did you guys see Brad Pitt? Bradley Cooper? Those guys look sharp. And you guys go, oh, that's weird that those guys look sharp. Clooney. Don't they all just wear Texas? Yeah. You want to see the girls dressed up. Yeah. Is that the deal? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knockouts. That makes sense. Mm-hmm. That makes sense because you want to see, because they're usually going to wear something that makes their, you know, curbs look great and all that stuff. They all looked.
Ridiculous. They all looked amazing. Yeah. Like, and I think they take classes on how to pose like that. Oh, my gosh. Because they all do the exact same thing where they're just. Wow. Jennifer Lopez. They don't ever smile. Had too much hanging out. I mean, I'm telling you, she was all boob. See, now that's. A great example. J-Lo was at the Oscars, and she doesn't have a song, does she? Presenting. Okay. She's presenting with Cameron Diaz. But she didn't have a song in a movie this year or anything like that? No. She's been, I think she was nominated and or won for Selena. Selena. She's really relevant right now because of American Idol. You know, prior person, beautiful, blah, blah, blah. All right, let's do a little bit of this. All right. Get a word of the answer to play buzzword. It's a fun game. Now, I'm going to be ginger with the way that I, you know, proceed because my gallbladder hurts. Well, you don't have one. I don't have one. Yeah, so how would you know if it hurt? The hole hurts. That's right. The place that they took it out. The cavity. Oh, gross! On the inside of my body. What's on the inside? The cavity. Yes. It's what's on the inside that counts. Yeah. All right.
Let's have people pick who they want to represent them. Who's this? Convoy. Mikey Show. Who's this? M1 Lisa from Lakeside. How are you? Good. Who would you like to represent you? I. Oh, wow. Okay. Hang on the line. I'm going to try my best. Okay. I'm going to try my best. Not always the best pick. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who would you like? Would you please? You got it. Hang on the line. I'm menstruating. Oh, wow. Thanks. The person that was calling for you, L.O.B., I hung up on. Oh, okay. But they'll call back. Hopefully. They will. Or else I'm just playing for no one. No, I think we may have them here. Is this the... Don't worry. She's got it. We'll get them. I'm sure there's plenty of them out there. Yeah, there's tons. Oh, that made me laugh. That made me laugh. All right. The way that you play.
Jay is going to give us a word, then he's going to give us something that the word is in, and we have to yell out the answer. Are you ready? Are you guys ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Here we go. Today's word is egg. Ah. E-G-G. Okay. Here we go. Beaten. Scrambled eggs. Oh. Wow. Look at the kids. Somebody's hot. Holiday beverage. Eggnog. Eggnog. Yeah, yeah, there you go. That's good. I couldn't understand you. That's good. Here we go. Purple. Easter egg. Easter egg die. Vegetable. Eggplant. Oh, wow, three-way tie. Here we go. Wind-up ticker. Timer. Damn you. There you go. Oh, that's right. You egg timer. Egg timer. You egg timer. Here we go. Box. Egg carton. Egg crate. LB got it. Here we go. No yolks about it.
No eggs. Egg whites. There you go. Oh, wow. What did you say? No yolks? No eggs. No eggs. No eggs. I'm a little off. Eggless. Here we go. I got a new word for you. Pain. P-A-I-N. The rap rock song. Josephine. There you go. What? I speak J. It's okay. The rap rock. That's what it says. It says right here on it. A rap rock. The rap rock song. I'm enjoying it too much to even think about thinking. That's exactly what it says. I thought he said red rock. I was like, what is it? It says that. I read it perfectly. A rap rock. A rap rock. The rap rock song. A rap rock. Okay. Here we go. Lumbar arches. Fein supporter. Back pain. There you go.
Pain supporters. We're pain supporters. I'm glad we don't lose points for incorrect guesses and buzzwords. It'd be hard to keep up with. No doubt. Here we go. Aspirin. Pain free. Pain medicine. Pain reliever. Among others. Pain relievers. Pain medicine. Painkiller. There you go, Mikey. Same thing as pain medicine. It's a score. It's not exact. It's Mike, four, Lauren, four, Woods, three. Oh, my gosh. Look at you. Oh, my gosh. Here we go. If it doesn't hurt. Don't. No pain. There you go. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. What's the score? The score is Mike Forlorn. Five was three. Oh, my God. Here we go. Police song. King of pain. That was good. I'm off. I'm still off. I'm off. There's something wrong with me. Here we go. Annoyance. Pain in the neck. Pain in the butt. Mikey. I like the way L.O.B. just repeated what Wood said. It's the only one I had in my brain. Okay, what's the score? It's the only one I had in my brain.
Scores bike five, Lauren five, Woods four. Whoa! So, we're going to make this just a three-pointer. M1 Rick? Yeah, I'm here. Woods is only one point behind us. He could bring this home. You got it. Hang on. Here is a three-pointer for you. Word's still pain? Word is still pain. Is this the last one? No, I have one more after this if we need it. I sympathize with you. I feel you're pain! Woods, I mean, sorry. Yes! Really? Yes! And then this is the final one. All right. Here we go. How many points? BS. I got a hose. This is a four-pointer. I just got a hose. Four-pointer. Four-pointer. Precursor to birth. Birth pains. Birthing pains. Birthing pains. Labor pains. Woods. Yes. Yes. Birth pains. That'll burn. Birth pains. If it Woods repeats it. It's hard to concentrate when people yell out. I know. Gotta rise above. That's a good bit. Gotta rise above. That's a bit. Yeah. M1, Rick from Escondido. I told you. Even on a day where he said that he didn't feel, he felt off, he still was good. He was off. Thanks, Woods. You bet, pal. Enjoy SeaWorld on me. Hang on. Do you know that American Idol's ratings are dropping like crazy? Like crazy? Mm-hmm.
According to a new Nielsen survey, yeah, apparently ratings have been dipping for a while, which is kind of surprising because I thought when they got a bunch of superstars, the ratings would actually do better, but they're not. Lowest rating since the show's first season. Wow. Was last Thursday night. Three judges from American Idol. That's right. Lauren, it's J-Lo and Steven Tyler. Okay. And there's Randy Jackson. There you go. Do you know what beat it? What? Do you know what beat it? The Voice. No. X Factor. No. Big Bang Theory. Really? Yeah. Wow. Popular show. I don't even know what that is. It's a sitcom. My wife, Rebecca, loves Big Bang Theory. I watched a couple episodes. Pretty funny. Very intellectual. They use a lot of big words. 15.4 million total viewers for Idol, but that was only a 4.4 rating. Wow. Not very good. Kathy Ireland is the richest supermodel in the world. Kate Upton's the girl of the moment. Oh, mama said. But the richest is Kathy Ireland. You know why? All the Kmart stuff? Yep. $350 million. Holy freaking cow. That's what she's worth. I just saw Derek Rose plays for the Bulls to sign a $260 million shoe deal. Wow. Shoes with Adidas.
Holy cow. $260 million shoe deal. That is insane. Yeah, 10 years. Holy cow. What's your motivation to get out of bed and go play basketball? I know. I mean, seriously, how do you motivate yourself to go out and poop? Athletes make way more money from endorsements than they do from their actual contracts. Speaking of money, we could be approaching the $5 a gallon mark before we know it. Average price of gas in San Diego County, $4.25. I paid $4.50 this weekend. Oh, my gosh. I mean, dude, that is nuts. Now, Jay thinks it's a conspiracy to get Obama out of the White House. I can believe that. They'll do anything to get him out of there. But what about Iran? Don't you guys think that could be part of it, too? What about the stuff happening in Iran? We have reserves. We have a ton of reserves. And I think the amount of oil we get out of there. He hasn't dipped into those yet. Yeah.
Who is wanting him out, Jay? The Republicans? Yeah, maybe the Republicans. Well, yeah, they do. What do they have to do with the world? Almost all of them have something to do with it. Yeah, but like Mikey said, they always want Obama out. If you're a Republican, you want Obama out. But now it's election year. It's go time. It's election year. But if that were the deal, why didn't he do something to, if that was true, if it was the Republicans that have this conspiracy to get him out, and the way that they're going to do it is, how? By the way, how do they do it? They own those private refineries and all that stuff. Obama can't set a standard price. That's not up to him. It's private buyers. We could do what the Republicans want us to do. Just drill anywhere. That is true. Let's just drill. Hey, it's reserved. It doesn't matter. Animals. I run moderate that way. I don't think that's right. I don't believe one way completely conservative right wing. I don't believe that. I don't think we should drill everywhere. I'm sure it's a political game. Could be. Could be. I just want cheaper gas. I'm going to have to buy a freaking electric car. You know, even natural gas prices are going up. It went up 18 cents in the past two weeks. Shocking. All gas. The price of it's going up. Electric car sounds like the way to go. Yeah. Seriously. Well, here's my take.
Iran is playing a big game right now with Israel. They're playing a big game of chicken with nukes. They got nukes. The world is telling them, get rid of the nukes. They've told Israel, we're going to get you. Israel's freaked out about it. So they've started knocking off nuclear scientists in Iran. Iran responded by knocking off their guys in the exact same way to send a message. Then they started blowing up. Israeli embassies across the world. Soon as that happened, the gas prices went up. And here's what they threatened. They said, if you take any actions against us, because that's the way they make a lot of money, oil, they export it. Well, Obama says, we got to do something about this crazy Iran. We got to do something. What we'll do is we'll go to this commission called SWIFT.
And their job is to regulate the money back and forth for oil. And we'll tell them, don't let them sell oil anymore. It'll cripple them. Now, that's so severe. I mean, severe. Iran has said, if you do that to us, there's going to be major repercussions. Now, is that a bunch of bark or is there going to be some bite behind it? And aren't we already experiencing the bite? Well, I think the fact that they're building nukes is... That's a little bit more than barking. Yeah. They're building nukes. And I believe we're feeling it at the gas pump because there's a whole nervousness involved with it. But it does affect everybody. Yeah, and it's supply and demand. I mean, if you're a gas station, why charge $4 when you can charge $5? And then get it. And then get it. It's one of those deals where it's like... Toilet paper. We all use it. Yeah. If they started charging $10 for a thing of toilet paper, if every company did, we're not going to start using newspaper, most of us. But they wouldn't do that because there will be a player in there that's like, hey, I'll sell more by making my prices cheaper. Exactly. But, you know, it's a competitive pricing for gas. So there's no way, like right now, they're definitely going off the price of crude oil. Right. $4.25 a gallon here in San Diego. That's the average.
Some places like in Del Mar where they know rich people live, they're hiking the price to like $4.75. Makes me insane. Yeah. Cheapest gas right now is in Chula Vista. Read it in the paper this morning. Cheapest gas right now is in Chula Vista. There's also some cheap gas in Tierra Santa off Santo Road. That's just a heads up. Speaking of heads up, Woodsy has been scammed before. And there's a scam going on right now in San Diego that you could be affected by that we want to tell you about. And one of them, there's two of them. One of them is one that Woods, his grandmother's been through it. So we'll tell you, we'll give you the info. You need to know all the stuff you need to know. I'm standing up and Jay is great. Jay was able to rig my microphone so that I could stand up. He put it on a stand. Of course he did. That's incredible. Okay, so before we went to break, I said, what about Ryan Seacrest? How did he react? How did Ryan Seacrest react to having Sasha Baron Cohen spill all the ashes on him? You know, part of me thought he would be up to something, Juliana. I had an idea something was coming. I didn't know in what fashion or form. Ryan!
We'll be right back. Live from the red carpet. Yes, G. We don't even know what to say. This is crazy. We're like specious. Wait. Do you know how lucky you are, though? His tuxedo, his Armani tuxedo, is full of ashes that Sasha dumped on him from an urn that are supposed to be Kim Jong-il's. He's got a velvet lapel. Yeah. And when ashes get on velvet, he ain't getting it off. I mean, it was making it worse. It was spreading. You were like the one chosen on the red carpet. Do you think that I'm lucky? Is this a vision of luck? Every red carpet reporter, every single person on the red carpet, you were chosen by the dictator. I'm not kidding. My dream would be to be part of that right now. I don't know. By the way, every camera beside me and above me is shooting this right now. And I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I think maybe you have your swan dress moment of the night right now. This is going to be trending worldwide in about one second. This is going to be on every single homepage. You know what's strange is that I saw that and I saw it getting closer to me and I thought to myself, is there really anything in it?
And now I realize the answer is yes. Ryan, your face, you were like, okay, are you joking me right now? That was probably the most priceless. Would you be mad at Woods? No, I don't think it was funny. I'd laugh. See, I don't think I, I wouldn't, I'd be like, eh. I'd be like, really, dude? You go through so much trouble to get the right outfit, to get it dressed and clean. Yes, I shopped all day. I shopped all day. L.O.B., isn't that a chick thing? That's, you know, do dudes care as much? It's Ryan Seacrest, though. He probably has a whole other one in the back in his dressing room. He's like, oh, I'm just going to switch out. Boom. Well, listen. Moments on TV that I've shared with you. What are you thinking right now, Ryan? Well, I'm thinking that he was either going to do that to me or George Clooney, right? There we go. Oh, my. It kind of took you one second. He's a mess. Looks like he'd been cleaning a fireplace. If you come back live here. Look like he was a chimney sweep. I think I've been shocked for once. Come back live. Our friends here, thank you very much, are just sort of pitching. Thank you. Are pitching in. I can keep it. Thank you. Pitching in. They brought a towel. I don't know why you have it. Somebody had a freaking towel. Oh, yeah. He handled it well. Yeah, he did. I thought so. I mean, for being covered in ashes? Ashes. Hey, listen. I mean, how can you not think it's funny? I mean, because, I mean, a practical joke. As long as it ain't me. That's my thing. As long as it ain't me. I watched it. I thought it was funny. You know. Oh, my.
Poor guy's got to look like a dork all night long. People are walking by. Everybody that walked by, do they think he got had or he's just an idiot? I'm sure they all saw on their phone. That spilled something on himself. They saw it on their phone. They're like, do you hear about Seacrest? Do you hear about Seacrest? Word instantly got around. He probably got more cred for if he still rocked the suit. I'm going to rock your entire universe. I want you to think about this. What if he did it to Angelina Jolie? Oh. L.O.B. can't take the thought. Like the thought of it. Just the thought. I want you. I'm blowing your mind. What if he'd done that to Angelina Jolie? Brad Pitt would have been. He would have. Brad Pitt would have looked like the bigger D. Yeah. Well, he would have physically. Yeah. He probably would have jumped in. But I bet he would have been like, it's not cool, man. It's not cool at all. Well, I have a theory that she's a vampire. And her teeth would have come out. That's true. Yeah. That would have been. He doesn't have that big of balls. No. They're big, but they ain't that big. Nobody has them. At least he had the discernment to not do it to a woman. Yes. Yeah, you do that to a woman, you're done. Donezo. So you know how Paula Deen announced that she has diabetes? Yep. She's been taking a lot of heat for it, but Al Roker asked her a question on the air about it, and I wonder, is somebody talking in her earpiece? When we come back, I'll play you the audio. You decide for yourself.
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ZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I work at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. There's breaking news coming out of Illinois. Ohio. Ohio. Yep. There has been a school shooting in Ohio. Do we have any indication whether this was the result of an altercation or more of a plot? There's no word yet. There's no indication yet of the motives behind this. They have the suspect in custody. They're clearly talking to him now. It doesn't appear to have been some sort of plot because officials are stressing that they believe the shooter acted alone. That there was no sort of organization to this. There were no other students involved in this. And they have the person.
The sort of thing, rather, that we might remember or think about from Columbine High School, where it was two students who had gotten together. They say that the shooter did act alone, and they're talking to him now at the sheriff's headquarters. Here's what we have. It says four students were wounded when this guy opened fire in the cafeteria of this Cleveland high school, just as the school day was beginning. This is early this morning. Our time. Chardon, Ohio, 30 miles east of Cleveland. Wow. That is hardcore. Those are the worst, man. Yeah, man. The worst. So we will give you info as we get it. Huge news with Daytona yesterday. Yeah, man. The Super Bowl of NASCAR was rained out for the first time in 54 years. Wow. That's quite a run.
You know, it's Florida, man. You know, the weather changes all the time down there. And, yeah, it did saturate the course. And they didn't have enough big a window to go in and dry it off. Well, and then you and I were looking this morning. We saw pictures of Daytona today. Yeah. Looks just as bad. Can you imagine, dude? Oh. You get the time off. You get the tickets. You're in Daytona. It's never happened. Right. So why would it? Why would it? Right. And you got to go home. Yeah, they've postponed it to 12.01 Eastern time today. Oh, wow. Now, they're even looking at, they're saying, we want to get this thing in today. We don't want to have to push it to Tuesday. But even worse than the fans, imagine you are the driver. Here we go. Announcement at 10.15 to give updated start time. So 7.15 here. 7.15 here. Yeah. The updated start time for Daytona 500. Ten minutes, they'll give us an update on what they're going to do because it's still rainy there. Right. What if you are the driver and you wake up that morning and you're like, all right. Yeah. I imagine how pumped up I get for an adult Little League game. I can't imagine what it would be like for the Daytona 500. What if you're on the pole? Yeah. Yeah. You're a pole position guy. What do you do? You just.
You have to stretch or do you have to like check your oil or? No, you have to get. What is it that you do? It's mental. It's mental. And their bodies get killed. And I'm not a big racing fan, so it's weird that I'm defending it. But those guys, they take a beating in those cars. And it was also going to be a big deal because Danica Patrick was going to be running Sprint Cup. Yeah. Which is, you know, that was going to be a big deal. I don't know how you prepare yourself mentally. To then come back and do it again the next day. But that's why those guys are professionals. At least they're all in it together. It's not like one guy getting ice. They're all going through the same thing. Which makes it even. It's crazy. Crazy. If you're just tuning in, there was breaking news that there was a shooting in a high school in the Cleveland suburb. I threw it away. Sorry. Cleveland suburb. And the town is called... Chardon. Chardon, Ohio. So, they're updating it, you know, as time goes on. The shooter, they have. It said, yeah, all the students were wounded. I don't know if anybody's dead. No fatalities reported yet. That's good. So, check this out. I talked about, before we went to break, I said, Paula Deen, who admitted that she has diabetes. If you don't know who she is, big TV host on the Food Network.
She's very popular on the Food Network, and she's well-known for her extremely fattening cooking. Oh, yeah. But, oh, does it look good. I'm talking down-home, southern comfort food. That's her thing. Well, now she's got diabetes. Take a listen to this clip as Al Roker talks to her about it. And ask yourself, are they, like, talking to her in her ear? Feeding her line? As she's supposed to be explaining this. You know, look, when we last saw you, Paula, you revealed on our program exclusively that you had diabetes. And were you surprised at the backlash, the negativity that people was throwing your way? Well, you know, Al, I guess I was very lucky. I think it was from a few people that were kind of mean about it. Who would it be? The producers? Yeah.
Negativity that people was throwing your way? Well, you know, Al, I guess I was very lucky. I think it was from a few people that were kind of mean about it and wanted to hold it against me. But you know what? The people that care for me, Al, they came out like you wouldn't believe. And they're the people that I care about. I don't know. I don't know. It's just a theory. Yeah. She's very distracted. It sounded very unnatural. She's trying to carefully craft a response. Yeah. That's what I took. So a lot of text messages that say, hey, Mikey, I think you should put all the parodies on a CD and sell them for profits for the next Mikey film because they are so freaking funny. I'm still laughing. I'd buy it for sure. Especially. L.O.B.'s parody about you. L.O.B. wrote a song all about me, and you guys went into a studio and recorded it all together. True statement. This is your first time hearing it. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Careful.
Loading up on the sour cream. He stuffs his belly over. Ouch. I don't know that I can listen. Pounding on the table. He wants some cookies. I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. Oh my gosh. Drinking bolts of gravy, and now he's choking. Oh, my gosh. Mike's always hungry. Yeah. Mike, he won't take a breath. His hunger is continuing. Easy reel. He's trying to do better. One hand, he has a turkey leg. Butterball in the other hand. Oh, yum. I can't help it. That's a secret. Reaching for a bagel and chocolate. What happened to the accent? Wants a Danish and more beef jerky. A pound of bacon. You must be joking. How's Mike always hungry?
Mike's always hungry. Mike's always hungry. He's always hungry. Jay's part is the best. It's the best. Jay nails it. The whole thing. It's our tribute to you. It's our tribute to you, yes. Oh my gosh. Beautiful, touching. Yes. Heartwarming. Heartwarming. It's called Mike's Always Hungry. Oh, wow. That's a new rule. When people are out, we get to write parodies about them. Yeah, roast you up. Oh, my gosh. Like falling asleep at a campfire. You got to take your shoes off. That's right. I didn't hear you guys play it. So I'm looking at our Facebook page and I see all these people going, that's the greatest parody. That's the greatest parody. I'm like, what is this? There was a parody per day just about when you were out. Oh, wow. And the other two were from your old pal, J. Isabel.
They're not loaded anymore. Weird that they're not on there. Yeah, Jay came in this morning. He goes, Mike, people really like Lauren's parody. I think we should play it. She wrote it on her own, and I didn't want to do it. I was trying to dissuade her, but she wouldn't listen. Under protest, I performed. She wrote it. I just sang it. That's right. I just do as I'm told. Yeah, don't shoot the singer. That was fantastic. It's fantastic. You're welcome. I have to hear it again before the show's over. Yeah. I have to. That was freaking fantastic. The lyrics just killed us. Trying to sing that. L-O-B singing Cornell. Chris Cornell. So good. And Woods giving it all the serious. Giving it all I could give it. I mean, giving it everything you could give it. He, when I said I was going to write it, goes... I call Vedder. Yeah, I got Vedder. Wow. 100%. Not embarrassed to admit that fact. That was identical Vedder. That is fantastic. That is fantastic. So we'll play it again. We have to. The Artist won Best Picture. The Artist is a black and white movie about silent movies. It's black and white in addition to No Sound? Oh, my gosh. Can't get much artsier than that.
It's as artsy as it gets. It really is. I guess. Sorry that I have a taste for the arts. Who's the arts? Just don't tell Kim about the arts. If you know what I mean. Different dudes named Art? Five guys named Art. I love the arts. Man, I love them. I starred when the arts are in town. Hey, Art. How you doing, Art? Hi, Art. Art's Jay. Give me a call. It's a barbershop quartet. There's four dudes. The name of Art. Delicious. Jean Desjardins won Best Actor. Meryl Streep won Best Actress playing Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. Must miss. Oh, I want to see it. I like to see people do stuff really cool. Yeah. Well, I watched, tried to. Watched J. Edgar this weekend with DiCaprio. Yeah. 15 minutes. And then here was me. Was it his accent? I didn't hear anything good about it. It was so boring. I never heard anything good about that movie. So boring. That's probably why. Hugo won Best Cinematography. Best Director is The Guy That Directed the Artist. Why did I say The Guy That Directed the Artist? You try to say his name. Michel. Michel. Michel has a never got his issues. Isolate.
Best Supporting Actress. Octavia Spencer for The Help. So there you go. That was the Oscars last night. Pretty big stuff. I didn't see one second of it. Me neither. But I did watch over and over again Ryan Seacrest with the stuff getting done. I cannot believe that. It's so great. It's the talk today. It's what you need to know going to work was that Ryan Seacrest got ashes dumped on him by Sasha Baron Cohen. I'm furious about it. Wow. Freaking furious. First of all, you don't talk like that. Don't I? No. Not in public. You don't talk like that, and you are not in any way. He is going to pay my dry cleaning. I'm adamant about that. Listen to me, Ryan Seacrest. That is not Ryan Seacrest. It is Ryan Seacrest, and I defy you to tell me that I'm not. Can I ask you a question? Fire away. Woods. I'd like to speak to my old pal, Woodsy.
Do you know who Mr. Bean is? Absolutely. Rowan Atkinson. Did you start the rumor that he had died? No, I didn't. Why do you hate Mr. Bean? I don't. Did you have to start the rumor that he died? I swear it was not me. Is he okay? You hashtagged it. I did not. Sassed with Mr. Bean. You and your hashtags and your Mr. Bean theory. God, I love that dude. Listen, Mr. Bean. Woods was hoping that if he did this stunt, then Mr. Bean would put out another movie. Oh, man, I know. Why have you a Mr. Bean t-shirt on? I don't. I don't even like Mr. Bean. I saw one movie. You have a suit and a mole on your face. I see one movie. Do you or do you not have every one of his movies? No. Even the imports. I do not. On DVD. I watched one Mr. Bean movie on the way to Australia, mind you, when I'd seen every other movie. You have Mr. Bean. movies that won't even play on an American DVD player. Yeah. Well, he was a big fan of the show before. He kind of felt like he sold out for the movie. Yeah. You know, you had all the like... What's his show called? Oh, really? I can't remember. Are you fainting that you don't remember the Mr. Bean? I'm not a Mr. Bean fan. Aren't you? No. You have brought up so many bits where you're like, hey, we should do this. Mr. Bean did it. Yeah. Oh, L.O.B. Gosh darn it, dude. Ouch. L.O.B.
Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Hey, Mike, we should do this thing where I pretend to sip out of a tiny cup. Nice beaver. Oh, my gosh. You can't hear that. I know. Oh, my gosh. I got my gallbladder taken out last week, and when I laugh, it hurts. Nice beaver. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Every time Mike, I would say, and Mike, he's out. He had his gallbladder taken out. You know what I thought to myself? And I know that this is not nice. I thought, I wish he could feel this right now. Oh, I wish he could feel this. I wish that people could transfer. If you touch someone's hand, you could feel. So that way you'd be like, all right, you're allowed to cry. Jay would be like, Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was like that. I don't feel nothing. I don't feel a thing. Mike, do you remember that time I threw my back out and I crawled into work? I crawled. I crawled. Put mud on it? Yeah. Just rub some dirt on it. Rub some dirt on it. I ain't not going to come to work. I ain't missed a single day and you know it. Well, anyway, here is the rest of the bit that Woods started. Somebody put out there, rest in peace, Rowan Atkinson. It was not me.
And Mr. Bean, for the record, is alive and well. He's like, oh, hello. I'm alive. Woods does the best impression. Do your Mr. Bean. Come on. Come on. How come when the mics are off? I don't even know. All you can do. All you can do is Mr. Bean humor. That's it. You're taking like tiny little steps. He's looking at us right now and he's got this look on his face and goes, if this takes off, I'll hate you. If this takes off, I will hate you guys. Push your bottom lip out like he does. Come on. Oh, there it is. It's it. There you go. I think he's in here with us. Do that one thing that you do with like the sand. You're Mr. Bean. Do the sandbick. I don't know what you're talking about. He was really funny in Four Weddings and a Funeral. Oh, you of course know his entire catalog. He was funny. He was in Witches. He was good in that. He's funny. Okay. All right. We know you think he's funny, okay? That's all you talk about. Delicate.
Woodsy, is there any sports that we did not get to besides the Daytona 500? Yeah, on Friday, I told you Ryan Braun, who was the MVP of the National League last year, plays for the Milwaukee Brewers, had a fantastic year, tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. He appealed. He was the 14th person to be found guilty. And, well, he was the 14th person to appeal, and he won. He's the only person to ever win. Yeah, the only person to ever win. I know you already gave this opinion, but I'll ask you after you tell me. Okay. He gave his press conference on Friday, and he is very pleased that this went his way. Ultimately, as I sit here today, the system worked because I am innocent, and I was able to prove my innocence. It doesn't sound prepared, contrived, or forced at all by Ryan Braun. That was definitely written by Jay Berkowitz, attorney at law. Exactly. Ryan Braun's attorney. This is him when they asked him, you know, well, actually, this is his version of what may have happened. We spoke to biochemists and scientists, and we asked them, how difficult would it be to tamper with somebody's sample? And their response was that if they were motivated, it would be extremely easy.
I like Ryan Braun. I always have. I said it on the air last year that if he comes to your town and you have a chance to take your son or your daughter to watch a guy play baseball, that's the guy. Woodsy, why was he admonished? Because he was very arrogant. Well, I don't know. I used the wrong word. Why was he exonerated? Technicality. A technicality. Explain. There's a gentleman that took his sample and said, ooh, FedEx is going to be closed. You know what I'm going to do? I've taken hundreds of other samples before. I know what to do. I know how to handle a sample. I'll take it to my house. Put it in a cooler. Put it in his basement. Took it on Monday. Okay. So he actually... You've got to give, okay, the American public this. If that happened to any of us. Yeah, we'd be pissed. Even if we were, like, shooting steroids up every hour on the hour. If somebody took our sample home, story's over. Right. It's over. Like, there's no more conversation. You took his pee home, dude? Yeah. You stuck it in a refrigerator? That's stupid. Stupid. I mean, but Ron coming out being like, he said, he goes, I'm going to sue.
I'm doing this. I'm doing that. The bit is, like I heard this morning on Mike and Mike, the first Mike goes, just wake me up when he sues somebody. I mean, that's the truth. He's the OJ bit. It's a real killer bit. He's going to go find the real killer. He should have just come out and been like, I'm just happy this is behind me. I'm ready to play. Like, let's not dwell on it. What if he didn't do it? Yeah. He should write a book called What If I Did. I mean, isn't the refrigerator at work? He could have just left it there until Monday. You know, and here's the funny thing is. It's weird, dude. It's Major League Baseball. What are you FedExing urine for? Just don't have a place where it goes. And, like, that's the spot. It's a huge deal. What do you mean? Like, they should have a pee car and they put it in the pee car and drive it over to the pee lab? But there shouldn't be the possibility of it winding up in somebody's freaking basement. Yeah, that's ridiculous. There isn't. There is. Yeah, you know why? It just happened. Right. Because dude was a weirdo and took it home. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened in that basement. But hey, by the way, lest anybody think that I'm saying this because I think that the guy wasn't using steroids. I'm not saying that. But I am saying, dude took it home and stuck it in this fridge. I wonder if there'll be any further investigation to see if he was like paid to do it by somebody. I don't know. Listen, listen.
Let's rewind the clock 25 years. If I would have said to you that the day that Nancy Kerrigan got clubbed in the leg, if I'd said to you, I bet that it was Tanya Harding who was trying to take her out by clubbing her. And she probably got somebody to club her. You would say that is a whacked out. That is a whacked out, crazy lunatic conspiracy theory. Yeah. Because sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Absolutely. And, you know, maybe he didn't. What if? Maybe he didn't. I'm just saying what if. At the end of the day, I don't really care much. I'm just, you know, it's a slap in the face, though, to all of those other people that have been tested. Well, no matter what. And there are flaws. No matter what, that's a true story. No matter what. No matter what way you look at it, what Woods just said is true. We're going to tell you about that scam that's going around. We don't want you to get scammed, so we're going to tell you all about that scam that's happening in San Diego right now, and hopefully you won't get scammed. Part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
Hi, this is L.O.B., and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And, Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's Ovation Cell Therapy. You know how I know? How's that? Because I use it too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great. Thank you. Have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You, too, can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com, and remember, FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount.
Back to programming in a minute, but first, listen to this. Seems the New York Mint is releasing to the public classic U.S. gold coins. There's a number you can call for free historical information and a free DVD. But first, it says that during the Great Depression, people were clamoring for gold coins because no one wanted to face economic turbulence without the security of gold. The government finally took them out of circulation, and a government meltdown was ordered. That's why most of us have never even seen a classic U.S. gold coin. But recently a stash was discovered in Europe, gleaming U.S. gold coins minted between 1866 and 1933, all uncirculated. It says the New York Mint is releasing them to the public on a first-come, first-served basis when you call. Here it is, 1-800-900-9517. Wouldn't that be amazing to hold U.S. history? Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-900-9517. 1-800-900-9517. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. Uh, no. I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp.
Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart. Shop at Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Right now, fresh five-ounce Atlantic salmon portions are $3.99 each. And every Friday through April 6th, get one free seafood portion when you buy three. See store for details. Plus, select packages of fresh strawberries, blackberries, or blueberries are buy one, get one free. And Albertsons is proud to welcome Express Scripts members at all of our Save-On pharmacies. See store for details or visit albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find fresh savings at Albertsons. Do you want to learn how to make a... ton of money flipping houses right here in the San Diego area? If so, we have an amazing opportunity for you. We're looking for 20 motivated individuals to join our real estate investing team. You'll learn our simple two-step system for flipping homes and get paid to learn the process. Hi, my name is Than Merrill and I'm the star of A&E's hit TV show Flip This House. My team and I are looking for 20 people in the San Diego area who want to learn how to make $10,000 to $40,000 per deal
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Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Hey, San Diego. It's Tony for Butoni. You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking. It's the delectable, exceptional, gastrointestinal delight of your night. Butoni, Butoni, Butoni, Butoni. Oh, you make me feel so right.
Think you can top that magic? Just go to Facebook.com slash Butoni USA and upload your original Cooking Up a Jingle lyrics by March 17th. We'll pick the top five, you vote, and the winner gets 5,000 smackeroonies. Go to Facebook.com slash Butoni USA for full lyric requirements, eligibility, and official rules. Void or prohibited. No purchase necessary. Contest open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. states in D.C. ages 18 and up. Interest must be received by 11-59 p.m. EST, March 17th. Voting closes 5 p.m. EST, April 4th. Attention all members of the U.S. military. Your Toyota dealer is proud to offer a special welcome home just for you. In honor of your service, now you can get 1-9 financing for 60 months on any new 2011 or 2012 Toyota. So see your Toyota dealer and save thousands on that new Toyota you've always wanted. It's our way of saying welcome home. Yes, if you're in the active U.S. military or the inactive reserves, you are now eligible for 1-9 financing for 60 months on any new 2011 or 2012 Toyota. Limited term financing through Toyota Financial Services to qualify Tier 1 plus through Tier 3 credit customers only. 1.9% APR includes 60 monthly payments of $17.48 per $1,000 borrowed. For example, 10% down. Down payment varies with...
Credit. Vehicles must be purchased from new car dealers stocked by midnight, March 5th, 2012. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer for details. Hill 5 northbound. Right before Plaza Boulevard, there's a hit and run. No injuries, though. Then a lot of slowing behind it. Sweetwater Road all the way down. to about Bonita Road. It's 23 to 35 miles an hour. 5 North is backed up, always slow this time of morning. Harbor Drive to about E Street. We're looking at speeds about 27 miles an hour. And the drive in La Mesa is a tough one too. The 8 westbound Fletcher Parkway to Jackson Drive, 23 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Boston Reed. Become a healthcare professional, get educated, and on-the-job training with Boston Reed. Classes begin soon. Call 1-877-BEGIN-88. Boston Reed, 1-877-BEGIN-88. 877-BEGIN-88. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning being brought to you today by Guayaki Yerba Mate. Under cloudy skies with some nasty west-southwesterly winds all over it. We do have a slight increase in swell. West-northwest wind ground swell accommodation. Secondary southwest.
out there at the same time too. Pretty much getting thrashed by those southwesterly winds. Ways running in that wasted chest high zone. Pluses on that. Top spots up the head high or so. But again, all areas just cannot get away from those onshore wests. So it's looking pretty poor across the board. Beaches, kind of low tide, crumbly reef breaks. Backed off it's sloppy there as well. Better morning to do something a little bit more productive because it's looking pretty poor out in the waters. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm an odd guy. Woods. Put it down on the back of the toilet, I'll eat it. Lauren. No, nice is in now. Nice is the new black. And Jay. All right, don't. Now, don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. On FM 94.9. We were just talking more about Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun, MVP. Yep. Milwaukee Brewers. Test positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Then... Highest testosterone level ever in a test. And he was just... Exonerated? Is that the word? Yeah. Is that the right word? Exonerated. Yep. He's off the hook. Yeah, he beat it basically on...
I mean, people are calling it a technicality. I think it's technicality. It was the way that the sample was handled. Now, a lot of times when they do a sample, they put like a sticker on it. Right. And you have to break that seal sticker, you know, so it's good to go. Yeah. But if there was no seal on the cup, because it's a cup, but that they twist on the top, then that means that anybody could have peed in there. It's true. Yeah, it's true. Or just added something to it. I don't think you added anything to it. In my mind, I'm like, what is he, a Cardinals fan? And he's just putting drops of testosterone in there? I don't know. I'm not a scientist. I would think the motivation would come from someone besides just him. Besides the handler? All it would have to be is some guy that's wacko that takes something himself from GNC that would show up as testosterone. And he pees in that thing. Where does he get that thing? He's the guy. He'd have to be the collector. It'd have to be the guy, the collector. He would know. It would have to be, right? Right. It'd have to be the collector. I mean, if you buy into the conspiracy theory, which I don't. Nor do I. I read somewhere that he was tested again soon after and it was back to normal. So how would that happen? Masking agent? How have guys beaten tests for years? But don't they test for the masking agent? There's, you know, the thing they say about steroids, HGH, performance engine drugs.
That is pretty weird, Wizzy. It's like a virus, but it's like once you cure this strain, there's another. You know, once this way has been detected, you can beat it this way. How soon after did he pee clean? I don't know. I never heard that. Yeah, you can just Google it. It's like almost when they, as soon as they got the test back, they had him come back in and immediately. That is weird. Is the highest levels they've ever seen to nothing? To nothing. Who knows? Highest levels they've ever seen to nothing. Right. Biggest player there is. Yeah. I mean, he's a good player. MVP. Guy's a freaking phenomenal baseball player. You tell your kid, hey, see what he does? Do what he does. Do what he does. That's how good that guy is. Well, that's more reason for somebody to tear him down. That's true. Exactly. I hope it's not true, man. I don't want anything else messing with my favorite game. Well, listen. If somebody was on the, you know, somebody was doing something dirty here, what's the motivation? I mean, is there a motivation to bring down Ryan Braun? Yeah. But why? I don't know. Like I said, what are you, Cardinals fan? Yeah. I mean, hey, I'd do it to David Ortiz's urine in a second because I can't stand the Boston Red Sox. So that's me. That's why I'm not a urine handler.
Well, urine handlers are not like known for their moral standing. I thought they were. Apparently, I'm looking at my call screen right now. I don't know if this is a joke. My gallbladder is on the line. I don't know if this is a joke. It can't be. Is this my gallbladder that was just taken out? Wait. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Pretty hard for him to talk because he's a gallbladder. No hands. No hands. Is this my gallbladder? Okay. Hi, gallbladder. Hello, gallbladder. Do you miss me? Do I miss you? Do you miss me? I am having such a great time now that I'm out. Now that I'm out. We're talking to my gallbladder that was removed last week. Sounds like he was released. Yeah. It's so much nicer now. I'm working out.
I'm not having to watch any documentaries. Cure gallbladder. Yeah, I'm like, I'm dating. Dating pancreases. I am having sex all the time. Not like just once a year now. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's so good. It's like a party out here, man. It was horrible inside there. What was it like? Tomales. It's all I ate, man. Come on, dude. Why don't you eat me something else, man? Like, how about a salad every once in a while? Oh, wow. Mix it up. He's very mean, your gallbladder. Are you inside someone else now? Are you just free? I'm out. I'm just out. You know, I'm out. I went to the Oscars last night. You're at the Oscars. My gallbladder was at the Oscars. Did you get an invite? Oh, dude, they know me, man. I'm like, now that I'm out, they're like, come on over and you hang out with me, man. It's cool. I want to laugh so bad, and I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't. Because you're sore from where he was removed. Yes. Yeah, well, dude, it was hail getting out of there, I'll tell you that much. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. It was hail getting out of there? Yes, my gallbladder sometimes mispronounces words. See. See. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Thank you, my gallbladder. Hopefully not.
Oh, gosh. She's dressed as a Mexican cowboy out at bars real good. Wow, wow, wow, wow. That was my gallbladder. Wow. I like that guy. Do you miss him? Do you miss him? No. Oh, good. I don't miss him. He sounds like he's doing great. I don't know what a gallbladder does. I should probably do some research. Uh-oh. There it goes. He's disconnected. There we go. And you're back. That's better. You're back. I don't know what it does either. Me neither. I know it had stones in it, and they showed me the stones. Gross, dude. Are you kidding? Yeah. What'd they look like? They were big. What color were they? Gray. Oh, my God. Were they flat or round? Round. They look like actual stones. Wow. They do. They look like stones. Wow. Did you smell them? Did you keep them? No. They wouldn't let me. You wanted to. Yeah. They wouldn't let you keep them. I asked. They wouldn't let me. Is there a step you're not supposed to do now? Like not eat? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here it comes. I just want to. No. I mean, just. I want to hawk eye you. I want to hawk eye you. Everything you do. They say that if you have greasy food. Right. Makes you have to go to the bathroom right. Like Ben. Not me. Wow. You tested it out. You already tested it. Yeah. What'd you have? My dad cooked something that was greasy. I tried it. And you were good. I was good. You know what it was? True story. It was cactus. No polish.
And that's greasy. Right now, Woods is looking at me like I was a real African zebra in the studio. Whoa. Wow. You are weird. How did he prepare it? You take the cactus. You take the thorns off. Obviously. Yes. D-thorner. Do you have a D-thorner at the house? No. You just do it by hand. No. My father does not have a cactus dethorner at the house. Would you like to know what he does? Yeah. He takes the thorns off. Woods, that's freaking funny. He takes the thorns off. He cuts them into squares. The thorns or the cactus? No, he doesn't cut the thorns into squares. I don't know. I know you like things that are like spicy. It's interesting because Jamie and I had plumeria this weekend, which I thought was odd. I guess I'm not that odd. It's delicious, actually. Have you had cactus? I have some cactus tortillas in the fridge. Through the last hour.
has given me such confidence in this radio show. Because I'm in a lot of pain because of it. It hurts when I laugh, and that's freaking funny. So, okay, so he cuts it into squares. Boils it. Boil. Okay. Okay. I was going to ask why. But I guess this is how you prepare. Do you feel softer? I have to stand now. Like a stew. I got to stand. That hurt my gut. That hurt my gut. All right, so he boils it to make it soft. Then my dad does a thing where he takes pork chops. Oh, man. It's going to be okay, Mike. You're going to make it. Oh, gosh. Stop, dude. I'm not doing anything. I'm just sitting here. It hurts so bad. I have my hand over my mouth. You're making me laugh. And I'm just looking. You're sniggling. I'm not sniggling. You are.
pork chops, and he cleavers the pork chops into bite-sized pieces. Dices them. Yes. Then he stir-fries those. Oh, no, no. Oh, God, no. I can't tell the story. I can't tell the story. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. Come on. Now I'm hungry. It hurts so bad. Woods, stop it. Have some control. You're a grown man. Am I? He fries it up and it's a little greasy and I ate it. And I was fine. Do you put it in a tortilla? Do you? It's a legitimate question. That is a legitimate question. I am curious as to the answer now. You know he does because it's diced. Everything's diced up. You roll it in a tortilla. It doesn't hurt if I press. It doesn't hurt if I press. Just keep pressing on it. I'll just keep pressing. Want me to come do it? No, I don't. I'll do it. I don't. With an anvil. Yes, I ate it with a tortilla. Did you? Of course you did. Of course I did. Corn, right? Not flour. Flour. That's for white people. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. I'm okay, though, if I hold it. Yeah. If I hold on to it and press really hard, it's okay. Right. Gosh. All right. Gosh. Sounds delicious. It does sound good. I would like to try that. Really? Yes. You'd like to try cactus? In a heartbeat. Yeah. Really? Absolutely.
Dude, you mix anything with pork chops. It's going to taste good. Put it in a tortilla. It's going to be real good. Somebody's calling to tell us what a gallbladder does. Okay. Yay. Let's see. M1 Mazzy Star from San Marcos. Are you there? Yeah, man. What's up? How's it going? Not too much. What's a gallbladder do? A gallbladder helps you absorb fat. Oh, boy. Oh, you're in trouble. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. That thing was overworked. It had to come out. Ouch. Ouch. It's the size of a Fiat. Yeah. Uh-oh. Here it comes. Stop it. You're going to send him into some sort of gut-busting. Some sort of shock. Arrest. If I see blood coming through your t-shirt, I'm out of here, dude. What happens then after if I don't have anything to absorb the fact?
You still have bile. The bile is created by the liver. Okay, thank you for the call. Oh, man. That's good. That'll do. Yeah, we're good. That'll do. I'm one. I'm one anonymous from San Marcos. Are you there? Yeah. Okay, hang on the line. Hang on. We'll talk to him in just a second because he's calling about that scam. I told you I was going to tell you about the scam. And I want to tell you about the scam. It's just that, gosh darn it, that got me. All right. Now I don't want to take it all serious. And that's what this story is, all serious. We should. Well, we have to let people know how to avoid the scam. Yeah, that's right. SDG&E said that on Friday there was a burglar going around. He was scamming people, telling him that he needed to come in and check things out, routine inspection. While he distracts him, somebody goes and burglarizes the home. So if somebody comes and says that they're from SDG&E, you need to call SDG&E because they don't do that. Are they arriving in a marked vehicle that says SDG&E? Yeah, if they're in a Hyundai, you may not want to get the door. Never leave the house if you're asked to. Don't leave the house. Especially older people, I think.
How did your grandma get scammed? I got a call from my dad one day, and he was kind of being weird to me. And he was like, did you call your grandmother and ask her for money? No. Somebody called my grandmother and said, she answered the phone, and they said, Grandma, do you know who this is? And she goes, Stephen? And he goes, yeah, Stephen. I'm on a business trip, and at the time I did travel, this gentleman said, I wrecked my rental car. They are not going to let me leave Canada until I pay for this, and it's $5,000. And she's like, well, what can I do? And the guy, being me, was like, you need to wire me $5,000 to this account number so I can pay for this rental car. And she was on the phone with her bank. trying to do it when my aunt came in and stopped the whole thing. Yeah. Happened to my grandmother, too. She didn't do it. It's shocking. Wow. Well, that's happening here in San Diego. Yeah, it is. And I actually spoke to M1 Anonymous last week. You did? About this thing that's going on. Is this, are you the guy that you talked to? Yeah, that was me. Okay. Did you want to tell us something else about it? Just basically all I'm saying is that the voice is exactly, like they,
hack into something and get your voice exactly the same. So your grandparents think it's you. That's the weird part. That is creepy. Well, how can they recreate you? I don't know if they get into, like, some of those recordings, like from when you call your cable company or whatever, or, you know, just call me. Who knows? They could call your voicemail. Yeah. But I guess it's the exact same thing as your voice. So they, and they kind of rush you, and they call a landline. So they kind of say, hey, you know, There has to be a special place in hell reserved for that guy. Yeah, the guy that's ripping off the elderly by telling them that their grandson is hurt and in an accident. Oh, gosh. I mean, you want to go to hell and you don't want to stand in line. Right. Yeah. You want to go really, you want VIP. Yeah. When it's hell time, you're like, hey, I don't have to wait in line here. I don't wait. Move the velvet rope. I'm in. And they're like, are you the guy that's scam? That's right. Come on in. Get in here. Holy cow. Yep. It's pretty gnarly, man. Thanks for the call. That is a very scary thing. If you got grandparents or even parents that are older that live here in town, that's anywhere.
The guy that I talked to, we just got off the phone with, they did this to both of his sets of grandparents. Wow. They called them both. Oh, my. And, you know, of course, he, you know, I think the same thing happened. His dad was like, hey, dude, what are you borrowing money from your grandparents for? You know what I mean? Of course. It was very odd. In what universe did Ben and Jerry's think that this was going to be okay? They were going to make Ben and Jerry's Linsanity. Linsanity ice cream. And it was going to have fortune cookies in it because he's Asian. He's Taiwanese. And they're not even... They're supposed to be Chinese fortune cookies, right? Well, that's part of the reason for the backlash. So they pulled it from the mix. And they replaced it with waffle cone pieces. That'll be served on the side. What are they thinking? They're not thinking. They weren't thinking. You can't...
You can't do that. You can't do it. You can't do it. If I were famous and they put out some kind of a burrito flavored, you'd get in trouble. There's like jalapenos in the ice cream. Yeah, you'd get in trouble for it. It's Esparza's Dream. That's the name of the ice cream. It's got jalapenos in it. You'd get in trouble. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with it. No. I would think that it was kind of funny and creative, but some people might have. Why not just ask him? What he would like in his ice cream flavor. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite type? Then they call it the, you know. Now, if he says, I love fortune cookies, then there you go. What are you going to do? Half a bowl. Wouldn't it be great, too, to be Ben and Jerry, Ben or Jerry, and be like, we talked to the guy. He likes fortune. He's all the way in. The guy couldn't. It's like Woods with Mr. Bean. Yeah. Oh, my God. Couldn't like Mr. Bean more. Yeah. I don't like Mr. Bean. Oh, if they made. Like is not strong enough. If Ben and Jerry made an ice cream. For Woods, it would be called the Hollywood's Mr. Bean. Yeah, they put like jelly beans in it. Jelly beans. Oh, yeah. Like a tribute. No, Woods, the answer to your question is no, it is not going away. It better. It's not. It's all I know. Okay, call us right now to do a spelling bee. Now, I'm not going to tell you any more than that.
Call us right now to do a spelling bee. 570-1949. I'll give you the details on the air. If you're a great speller, call us right now. The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in a couple. FM 94.9. Your car or truck is one of the biggest investments you have. If you've come into some extra cash this tax season, visit your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store and let us show you how to improve the safety, reliability, and ultimately the longevity of the vehicle you rely on every day. If you're overdue for an oil change, have smearing and streaking wiper blades, fluid levels that need topped off, squealing brakes, or a check engine light that's been on for a while. Now's the time to reinvest into getting your vehicle back to peak performance.
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We got a lot of good spellers on the line. But first, Woodsy, tell me about the NBA All-Star weekend. Yeah, it was this weekend. It was in Orlando. Kevin Durant was the MVP, had 36 points to seven rebounds. The West beat the East 152 to 149. And this is interesting. LeBron James cannot catch a break wherever he goes. He's in an All-Star game, right? And has the chance to take the winning shot, passes it. which has kind of been his bit. People always give him a hard time for not wanting to be the man. This is him after the game talking about it. Yeah, he was telling me to shoot it. Kobe was telling him. I seen my teammate open for a split second. I told him I seen him open the first time and I didn't release the ball. You know, when I try to throw it late, that's what usually happens, the result in the turnover. I definitely wish I could have that one back. That guy had 36 points and is just getting... filleted today for not wanting to be the man. 36 points. Jeremy Evans of the Utah Jazz won the dunk contest. Timberwolves forward. Kevin Love won the three-point contest. And yesterday also, this weekend in the Combine, was absolutely incredible. RG3 from Baylor, the Heisman Trophy winning quarterback, ran a four. Why do they call him RG3? Robert Griffin III. Got it. Yeah, he ran a 4-4 40-yard dash. Now,
For those of you that wonder, well, what's good? If you run a 4-4, you're good. You're fast. You're very fast. You're very, very, very fast, especially if you're a quarterback. Yeah. You know what's very interesting about this, Mike? The combine was that the St. Louis Rams have the second pick in the draft. They have Sam Bradford. They do not need a quarterback. RG3 will be the second player taken in the draft. Almost guaranteed. So now all they're doing is waiting for their phone to ring. For people to move up. They want to move up to number two. Teams that need a quarterback. Like the Cleveland Browns. They're going to have to give up two first rounders and more picks to go draft. So RG3 having a good showing just makes this draft so sexy. It's going to be incredible. I feel bad for LeBron James going back to LeBron. Right. Because society has made him a big thing. Like you said, he can't catch a break. Yeah. He doesn't help himself much, though, either. Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't help himself. He says some dumb stuff. And he does some dumb stuff. Last year in the finals against the Mavericks, him faking like he was sick like Dirk Nowitzki, Dirk went out and lit him up and won the title. I mean, just keep your mouth shut and play your game. He has the most talent of anybody in that league. Yeah. He's filthy good. Okay. But he's not the man. It's time to do...
A spelling bee. Now, I told you. All I was going to tell you was we were going to do a spelling bee. Now, I will tell you what it is. Let's first get on the line. M1 Light. Are you there, Light? Yeah, I'm here. You're going to be doing an Oscars spelling bee. Okay. Because last night was the Oscars, so these are people associated with the Oscars, and you're going to spell their last name. Okay. Now. I'm going to give you at least two chances. So if you can't spell the first one, I'll give you the next one. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay. Here we go. Martin Scorsese. Spell Scorsese. S-B-O-R-C-E-S-E. Wow. That is correct. Look at you. Wow. That was very fast. That was extremely fast. Look at you, dude. Hang on a line. I didn't think that was going to happen. I didn't think people were going to be able to. Right off the bat. We started with an easy one. Scorsese? That's an easy one. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Can you hear that? Can you hear the word? Martina Scorsese. Without hearing that. No. So shaky. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Martina Scorsese. Oh, gosh. Stop it.
I love saying that just randomly. Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. And the randomness. She'll just do it out of nowhere for no reason. We'll be sitting here on a commercial break and she'll do that. We were doing it to the dogs last night. Martina Scorsese. Okay, here we go. This is M1 Laura from Point Loma. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. How's it going? It's going good. Now, you're going to get two chances at this. Okay? Okay. I'm going to give you the person's name, but all you're going to spell is the last name, okay? Okay. Here we go. Steven Spielberg.
Okay, that's S-P-I-E-L-D-U-R-G. That is incorrect. It is not spelled with a U. But don't worry. You got another chance. You get one more chance. Awesome. Okay, great. The next one is Kenneth Branagh. Oh, goodness. Branagh? Yeah, he was up for Best Supporting Actor for My Week with Marilyn. Kenneth Branagh. Okay, that's B-R-A-N. A-U. So sorry. It's actually, you're very welcome. It's actually spelled B-R-A-N-A-G-H. Fancy. It's hard to spell. Some of these are really tough. M1, Bobby Fox, are you there? Yes, hi. Hi, how are you? I'm great. How are you guys doing? Good. All right, Bobby, you get two chances here, okay? Actually, I was called a nine for the other one. Oh.
For society. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Word of the day. Word of the day. What was the word of the day? Society. That's correct. Damn, look at you. Yeah, look at you. You just won yourself SeaWorld tickets. All right. Hang on the line. All right, this is M1. Oh, wait a minute. You already played. Woodsy? Yeah. You're one of the best spellers I know. Oh, boy. Here we go. I just want to give you one. All right, give me one. See if I can do it. Jessica Chastain. Chastain, am I spelling? Yep. C-H-A-S-T-A-I-N. Chastain. Terrence Malick. M-A-L-I-C-K. Malick. There is no way you can do this one. Jean Desjardins. D-E-J-A-R-S-D-I-N. Oh, so close. It was so close. D-U-J. D-U-J. Son of a gun. D-U-J-A-R-D-I-N. Oh, D-I-N. Okay. Well, you were very close. Feast. What's a good speller? What's a good speller? Brooke Muller. She's been officially charged with coke possession.
And distribution. That's the big one. Wow. She had a lot of cocaine with her. She's like four grams on her, I think. Yeah. That probably wasn't distribution. That was probably personal use. Yeah, they call it that, I guess. I guess because it was so much. Mother of two. Oh, man. Is that jail time she's looking at? It's got to be, right? Oh. Got to be. Her distribution? Listen, for what she had, could it be like 18 months in... Wait, back up. If it's not distribution, 18 months in jail. If it is distribution, it could be like three years in jail. Chances she gets off with a very high-priced attorney that Charlie Sheen pays for, and she does, you know, probation and rehab. Yeah, you're probably right. You know? You're probably right. That's me. That's you. That's you, LLB. That's you, Jay. We're off. We're gone. Orange jumpsuit it up real good. Let's see. We had this topic.
Stuff my kids have ruined. Or stuff that we ruined. When we were kids. You didn't mean it. You just did it. My mother-in-law, when she was a toddler, it was the first day that her dad had brought a car home. She was a toddler. First day that he had brought a brand new car home, she thought the white rocks in the front yard were chalk and she was going to ride on the side of daddy's car. Oh, gosh. Brand new. He just brought her home. First day. First day I was home. Oh, my God. She rode on it with a white rock. Yeah. I took a hammer to my grandfather's car, and I was sitting on the hood. I was about five years old, and I was hammering the hood of the car. Oh, my gosh. And he came out and asked me what I was doing. And I looked at him, and I said, what, Papa? I'm fixing your car. I thought you fixed everything with a hammer. So you fixed it? I was fixing it. You were fixing it? Yeah. Just beating the crap out of it with a hammer. Oh. He lost his mind. The worst part is they look cute. Yeah, dude. And he always told me. He always told that story at every gathering. But he always was like, I couldn't even be mad. Yeah. I couldn't. I couldn't be mad at you. Oh, my gosh. When Maddie was little, we had this laser disc player. They were giant. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the ones that looked like record players. Yeah. It was huge and super expensive. She hit the button and the tray comes out. And she thought, oh, it's an automatic step.
I could just step on this. No, Jay. No, no, no, no, no. Snap. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sure Jay didn't care. Jay didn't care at all. Didn't care. Well, he had stolen it from the radio station that he worked at at the time. Were you there? Were you there? Hey, we ain't going to use this for the promotion anymore. I'm just going to take it home. Hey, they didn't claim it, so. DVD players are out now, so I'll take that. I'll take that copy of The Shining, too. Throw that in there. Stuff that you have ruined. I burned our back fence down when I was five. Brilliant. Yeah, I didn't mean to. Just lighting stuff on fire? Yeah, me and Isaac Lopez. Weird that you would have a friend named Isaac Lopez. That is very weird. I didn't just associate with Mexicans because I'm Hispanic. So you say. That's true. He was your friend or your cousin? Friend? He's a friend of mine. Okay. Neighborhood boy? I believe there's a part of me, L.O.B., that believes that you know for a fact that he was just a friend, but you asked me if I was related. Yes. To make it to...
Just double-checking. Okay. Just reassuring the audience that, yes, Mike Esparza is Mexican as well. Well, I also had a friend named Jason Middaw who was very Caucasian, very Caucasian. Irishman, maybe. Yeah, he was, yeah. Middaw? Mm-hmm. Sounds like a fluke. His mom must have been Mexican. Yes, Mexican-Irish. Yeah. See, that's also wrong. It was not, in fact, a fluke that I had a white friend. I actually... Did have some friends that were white. Were they imaginary? No, Jason Middall was not an imaginary friend. Probably ghosts. You never really see like Mexican ghosts. Is he here now? Is he in the room? No, he's not. He was a real person. Whom, by the way, I've tried to find on Facebook. Can't find him. He doesn't want you to be found. Or he never existed. Right. He was a figment of your imagination when you were a kid. That's why you can't find him on Facebook. Everybody's on Facebook. Jason Middaw is a figment of your imagination. He has to be because every human being is on Facebook. Some people have multiple accounts. Exactly. Shouldn't I be able to find everybody at this point? Because my dad's got Facebook. My mom's on Facebook. My nanny's on Facebook. Everyone is. 570-1949.
Is our number. If you have ever messed something up. This is M1 Natalie. Hang on. I have to reach and it hurts. M1 Natalie is on the line from Vista. Hi. How's it going? Good. One year at Thanksgiving when my brother and I had house chores, I accidentally put my parents engraved champagne flutes in the dishwasher. Oh. And slammed it shut. off the stem. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Engraved. Engraved. Very fancy. Very important. Irreplaceable. Snapped at the stem. Crystal, Thanksgiving ruined it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. How mad were your parents? My mom. My dad was kind of indifferent, but my mom was in tears.
Oh, boy, mom. Really? Dude, you can't replace it. Yeah, leave her alone. It was an accident. She was trying to help. I know, but it's not like she was juggling them. You can't control your reactions. She was sad. No, she was devastated. She was, be honest, she was inconsolable. Inconsolable. Yeah, actually. Those flutes meant a lot, apparently. We have all these, like... pictures of growing up that I think it was me. I don't remember. Someone took a marker. Someone. And drew like all over. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't. It's too bad. Now, the people online just got a treat. Yeah, a little taste. Because that was a sweet taste. But everybody else, you can't. It's like twice in two weeks. We kind of talk about that all the time. We can't say that. No, no, no, no. All right. That was fantastic. I'll just quit. She gets mad. Because there's no clear rules. Yeah, there is. I've explained it. She likes it clear. Girl's a dirty bird. What I said was not dirty. It was true. That is true. That wasn't dirty. It was just filthy. M1 Harold is back on the line. Back again.
Strike one. Hey, dude, you got one strike this morning. I know. I blew it. So I'm calling back to redeem myself. Go ahead. I actually have two of them, but the one that's up on the board is when I was a kid, I noticed that my dad's car was out of gas. So I ran over, grabbed the water hose, and I filled up. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's pretty good. What do you have to do? You have to take apart the engine, don't you? You know, I'm not sure. I think he just drained the tank out probably, but he didn't realize until he tried to start it. I've always heard that you have to, like, take apart the engine because the water gets into the pistons. Oh, what a beating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy cow. What's the other one? The other one is I trained real hard for this big arm wrestling competition because the trophies were, like, these really nice golden arms. Yeah. And I won them, and I brought home these golden arms. And my son was walking around the house with them all, like, happy. Right. And dropped it and shattered it. Oh, wow. Oh. Wow, wow, wow. Along with your dreams. Yes. Shattered. Shattered. Along with your dreams. Your golden arm. Along with my dreams. Yeah, the gold. Now, this will happen to me one day. So I have a question for you, Harold. Okay. This will happen to me one day. And it'll be Luke. Luke will do that. Yeah. He's in break something.
Now, when they do, are you still mad? How do you feel? Well, you know, like Wood said, my dreams were shattered. But at the moment, being the dad that I am, I just got down at eye level with him. And I actually said, you know what, dude? It's just a dumb trophy. Wow. Yeah, because at the end of the day, it is. Yeah. You know? It is. Yeah, it was. But it was still. They were nice. My dad took us to, when we were kids, my dad took my brother. Thanks, Harold. You redeemed yourself. Yeah, absolutely. Well played. My dad took us to Yankee Stadium, and we got to meet Dave Winfield, who was also a Padre and Hall of Famer. And he signed a couple baseballs for us, and we used to play ball in the street, and we took the Dave Winfield ball, and we were throwing it in the street, and I was hitting grounders.
to my brother with the signed Dave Winfield ball. That my dad... It's exactly right. And my dad still, to this day, is like, sure, it would be nice to get that Dave Winfield ball. And, I mean, it's just like, you know, at the end of the day, it's a signed baseball. There's no use crying over signed baseball. That's exactly right. That's a true story. I mean, unless it's like a Babe Ruth, like in the Sandlot. Then you cry. I had a friend that decided that he was going, well, he was a single mom. He had a single mom. And while his mom was away at work, he was going to entertain himself by playing G.I. Joe's. Right. Well, G.I. Joe wanted to start a campfire in the living room. Okay. Because he wanted to keep warm. You got to stay warm in the jungle. You got to stay warm in the jungle. So he lit a campfire and it started to get out of hand. And he knew that. So he put the fire out. The problem is he singed the entire area of carpet. Okay. It was blackened and it went all the way down to the foam. Okay. blackened foam, bubbly, stinky foam, and burnt carpet. Now, this is child thinking. This is child thinking, what I'm about to tell you, because you're going to go, well, that's ridiculous. But to a child, this made perfect sense. I got to hide this from mom. Absolutely. Mom cannot see this. You never know. So what he decided to do was when she walked in the door, he laid down on the carpet.
And he put his arm up to his... Oh, gosh. Up to the side of his head, and he laid there on top of it. Oh, yeah. And she didn't see it. Right. Oh, my gosh. What he didn't realize is eventually he had to move. Right. And he did, and she said, what the hell is that? I don't know. I don't know. Oh, gosh. Let's see how that happened. I did the same thing. Broke a stick. In the lock, trying to pick a lock. I'm going to pick a lock with a stick? Yeah, just out picking locks. Yeah, yeah. I started early. This is M1 Tony on the line from San Diego. Go ahead. That's another one. That's another one. Crazy. That's another one. Thank you. That phone. Was shaped like a cleat. And they got it because they got a Sports Illustrated subscription. Why are you calling from a pair of lips? It's shaped like lips. Why are you calling from a hamburger phone? It's a flip hamburger phone. Am I on the air? Yes, you're on the air.
Hey, close the hamburger phone and call from your other line. I have a professional comedian here. How did I think I was going to come to freaking work? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Ow, ow, ow, ow. My favorite bit of the day. It got me so good. There it goes. There's blood coming. I had to rip my headphones off of my head. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. All right. Lips phone. Phone? Moment. Kind of. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay. Okay. We got more calls. Oh God. Tia from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yeah. Hi. Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. When I was about seven or eight years old, my mother was the property manager for an apartment complex. So she was the on-site manager. And I found a can of spray paint.
Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. What a statement. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Stupid. Stupid. I read stupid. Stupid. I love it. Oh, that's the greatest. It could have been anything. It could have been so much cooler. It could have been my name or some phrase or cartoon characters I liked, but it was stupid. The word stupid. Did you get caught? The most offensive things you could think of. Yeah. Did your mom know it was you? Well, I spelt it wrong. There is nothing more ironic than spelling the word stupid wrong. I don't care if you're a fork. I don't care if you're a fork. You misspell the word stupid. You're dumb. I don't care who you are. It's amazing. Well, I was doing the dishes and she came into the kitchen.
She grabbed my arm and she saw like little black speckles on it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. It was all. So, yeah, I saw this on the side of the wall. And why don't you go ahead and spell it for me? Oh, your mother is genius. Yeah, she's genius. I spelled it right that time. Oh, you did? Check you out. And then she caught me, and I got in trouble, and she had to call the name. She still caught you. Yeah, she still caught the mom. Yeah, because you had the black speckle. She's like, I don't care. You can't fool a mom. Yeah, you had the paint. Wow. Yeah, you ain't fooling a mom. Yeah, you can't. And, you know, thank you for the call. I think that kids, you got to go through a stage of curiosity. Yeah. You know, you're just too curious what that spray paint is going to be like. Yeah, you want to smell it. You want to see what it looks like on that wall. Why is it making that rattling noise? Right. Will it still rattle if I spray it? Mikey, why are you promoting tagging in our community? I'm not. But here's what happens in a child's mind. They go, what would happen?
And the moment that a child says what would happen, it's really tough to reel that back in. There's not a filter. It's hard. It's like burning things. My other grandparents had this beer refrigerator out in their back garage filled with Coors Original. And I would go back there with my cousins and we would shake them up. Oh, my gosh. So I'm like six and I'm walking in reeking of beer. And they're like. Oh, my God. Oh, because they're watching me. You know, my mom had to come pick me up later. And they're like, were you drinking beer? I was like, no. We would take them, shake them up, throw them against the wall. Oh, wow. But we probably wasted 40 Coors, you know, Coors cans. Oh, my gosh. Just clown. Nah, it's kids. Yep. What are you going to do? Commercial that Clint didn't. About the automakers. Was it successful? Or did it do the opposite? We'll find out next. Mikey Show, FM 94.9. What's up there, Butternuckles? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Tonight, you can see Veronica Falls at the Casbah, Hyperwave at Soda Bar, or Electric Waste Band at Winston's. On March 6th, blogging Molly Playhouse of Blues. On March 8th, you can see the silent comedy with Dead Feather Moon and The Howls at the Belly Up.
Lagwagons at House of Belize March 9th. An English beat will play two nights at the Belly Up March 16th and 17th. Still to come, shows from Pussifer, Ani DeFranco, Polyphonic Spree, Transfer, Steel Pulse, The Hives, James, Delta, Spirit, and two weekends of Coachella. So there you have it. Get out there and... It's weird. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. I want to tell you about AIS. AIS is the auto insurance specialist, and they can save you a lot of dough. Their customers, on average, report a savings of over $600 a year. $600 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. You could, too. Listen, right now is the time. Sorry. I'm sorry. 1-800-777-4AIS. I had surgery, so I'm dealing with the ramifications. 1-800-777-4AIS. It's 1-800-777-4247. AISinsurance.com. You can take care of it in five minutes if you go online. So do it. AISinsurance.com. And tell them Mikey sent you.
When NASCAR comes to Southern California's Auto Club Speedway March 23rd through the 25th, one thing's for sure, it's go time. An action-packed weekend kicks off Friday, March 23rd, with Drive for COPD Qualifying Day, then the Royal Purple 300 on Saturday, and finally on Sunday, all your favorite drivers face off in the Auto Club 400. Great seats start at just $30, and parking is free. Get your tickets today. Visit AutoClubSpeedway.com or call 800-944-RACE. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement and financial aid is available to those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. Original. Inventive, latest and greatest. There are lots of ways to say fresh. And Mercedes-Benz is yet another. Take the 2012 C-Class. With its aggressive body styling, completely redesigned interior, and more fuel-efficient turbocharged engine, the C-Class sedan boasts over 2,000 refinements. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2012 C-Class, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Lease the 2012 C250 Sport Sedan.
An IAHS top safety pick for just $349 a month for 33 months with $4,009 due at signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Have you ever belonged to qualified customers exclusively from Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through February 29, 2012? Some equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hone Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. Do you want to learn how to make a... Hi, my name is Than Merrill, and I'm the star of A&E's hit TV show, Flip This House. My team and I are looking for 20 people in the San Diego area who want to learn how to make $10,000 to $40,000 per deal. in your spare time without using any of your own money. San Diego is a perfect market for my system, and this week I'm holding a free two-hour educational workshop where you can learn how to make a lot of money flipping homes in your spare time. Interested candidates can get two free tickets to the workshop by calling 1-800-808-0379. Seating is extremely limited, so call right now to get your two free tickets at 1-800-808-0379. That's 1-800-808-0379.
This is L.O.B., and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And, Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's Ovation Cell Therapy. You know how I know? How's that? Because I use it too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great. Thank you. Have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You, too, can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com, and remember, FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. My robotic assistant, Al, and I...
I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Do you or someone you know suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia? Are you interested in participating in a research study? Excel Research is seeking volunteers for clinical trials involving investigational medication. All study-related care is provided at no cost. Health insurance is not required, and you may be compensated. To see if you qualify, call Excel Research at 760-758-2222. That's 760-758-2222. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminix Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-TERMINIX for your no-obligation inspection.
This report brought to you by IHOP. Celebrate IHOP's National Pancake Day, Tuesday, February 28th from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. You can enjoy a free short stack of IHOP pancakes when you contribute to Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. February 28th only. One free short stack per guest. See your store for details. Well, it looks like things are starting to clear up. The speeds are starting to return to normal. Still some backup, though, on the 5 northbound from Harbor Drive to the 54 eastbound. That's about 21 miles an hour. Swinging up here. Let's go over here. where my map works. The best on the 52 westbound, the ramp from the 125. It's slow, 13 miles an hour. But that drive like into Lemon Grove, La Mesa, that looks pretty good. It's all returning to green, which means the speeds are back up.
This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Constant Contact's turning February into fan brewery. Small business, this is your month to make social media work with social campaigns. It's a new tool from Constant Contact. Visit ConstantContact.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz Bergamont body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all-American man. Okay. I eat a Kraft American singles. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down. I'll go right for this jugular. On FM 94.9. Last night, I let the party get the best of me. Waking up in the morning. All right. So when we were going to break, I said. And we're also, we're going to play that Mike's Always Hungry song. Temple of the Dog. Temple of the L-O-B. Yeah. Woods and Jay. Jay's backing vocals. Woods is giving it its all. Yeah, my better. I'm just doing bits. L-O-B dropping to a lower register that she's, you know. Yeah. Singing about me eating. So maybe it's time. Maybe not. Maybe I have no palace when I get home.
Nopales. Cactus. Yes. So I said, how is Detroit doing? Trying to keep up with demands? They can barely do it. Detroit can barely keep up with the demands. Freaking awesome. Maybe it was Clint's commercial in the Super Bowl. Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, dude. I mean, that town has been in the doldrums for years. Last year, 12.8 million cars. This year, they think it's going to go over $14 million. That's so cool. That's good news for everybody. Yep. For our economy. Yeah. For Detroit. Two million more cars sold. That's insane. Yeah. I love that. Mm-hmm. We're buying American, and I love it. Listen, here's the thing, too. The fact that the jobless rate is going down. Yep. The economy's coming back around. Yeah. The only thing that sucks, I feel like we're getting gouged on is gas, but everything else feels pretty good. Gas is bad. Gas is bad. We'll just carpool. Yeah. We'll just carpool or walk. What's carpool? Carpool. What is carpool? Carpool? It means more than one person goes in a car together. Oh, you mean carpool. L-O-B. L-O-B only has a few words that she does. Carpool is one. Carpool. And her other one is. Carpool. Carpool. Carpool. Somebody can have carpool tunnel syndrome. Yes. Carpool. Well, she actually calls that carpool tunnel syndrome. What's your other one? Carpool tunnel. Totally different. Carpool and carpool.
What's your other word? That's insane. Oh, I said bettermize. Bettermize. Bettermize. And we were like, what is bettermize? Bettermize. I said bettermize. Exactly. Exactly what you said. I know. I know. That's the problem. Exactly. Bettermize. Bettermize. This is L.O.B. in a song that she wrote for me. Oh, God. So far, it's very true. Yes. Yes. It's a true story. It's a true story. Loading up on the sour cream. He stuffs his belly over. This is the best. This is my favorite line right here. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Pounding on the table. He wants some cookie. Identical Mikey. Eating vats of Mexico.
Hats of mayonnaise. Drinking bolts of gravy and now he's choking. Mike's always hungry. Mike, he won't take a breath. His hunger is continuing. What's made it? His art. What's made it? Your craft. Let's do a good job. In one hand, he has a turkey leg and a butter ball in the other hand. Oh, yum. Yeah, yum. Reaching for a bagel and chocolate pudding. He wants a Danish and more beef jerky. On the bacon, you must be joking. How's Mike always hungry? Oh!
Mike's always hungry. Mike's always hungry. Mike's always hungry. I propose that Emily, our phone screener, just delivered a bagel to our friend Mike. In the middle of Mike's Always Hungry. And one of my verses is, reaching for a bagel. Where's the chocolate pudding at, though, is what I want to know. Already ate it. You know, I even have to eat. I know, yeah. Do you. Do you. I love it. Do you. Do you. I mean, seriously. L.O.B. did such a good job writing that thing. Holy cow. It just kind of wrote itself. Yeah. Did it. What happened? If you haven't heard, Brian Seacrest got ashes dumped on him by Sasha Baron Cohen. We'll play you that and his reaction next.
Part of the Mikey show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Today, my journey to help save people money on car insurance brings me to the sunny state of California, which has over 840 miles of sandy beaches. So I've been brushing up on my surfing lingo in preparation. Wasabi, surfer bras and salty sisters. If you're jonesing to save sick money on car insurance, switching to Geico could be hyper fierce. Nah, nah. Slater, dudes. I think I've got it. To get a free rate quote, go to geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office.
Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. My wireless internet bill was really adding up. So to save some money, I just use my neighbor's unpassword-protected Wi-Fi for free. It's unpassword-protected because the signal doesn't go outside of the house. Now get off my couch. Not to mention, I recharge my laptop for free. Mm-hmm, not free. And while I wait for all my downloads, they really need more bandwidth. I just grab a soda. Not much of a diet fan, but beggars can't be choosers. You're not begging, you're just choosing. Neighbors are great. To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. It's stock-up time this weekend at Vaughn's. Because with the Vaughn's weekend sale Friday through Monday, you'll find incredible Vaughn's Club prices all over the store on things you use day in and day out. Selected sizes and varieties of post-honey bunches of oats, Quaker Life, and Cap'n Crunch cereals are just $1.99 each. Start your day with bacon from the Vaughn's meat department. Right now, 12-ounce packages of farmland sliced bacon are buy one, get one of equal or lesser value free with Vons Club. Quench your thirst with 12 packs of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or 7-Up cans. They're buy two, get two of equal or lesser value free, plus CRV selected varieties must buy four. And head to the Vons Produce Department for a family favorite. Eight-pound bags of Safeway Farms Naval Oranges are only $3.99 each. Plus, don't miss other spectacular Vons Club specials. We have thousands.
Selected sizes and varieties of liquid-type detergent are just $5 each. And selected varieties of craft singles are only $3.99 each. All this and more all weekend long at Bonds. Ingredients for life. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. We want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. To protect your engine, you have to change the oil.
For a very limited time, O'Reilly Auto Parts has a great deal with instant savings on 5 quarts of mobile, super-conventional motor oil and a micro-guard oil filter for $9.99. That's a price you won't find anywhere else. And that's not all. With this outstanding offer, get a $5 O'Reilly Auto Parts gift card after mail-in rebate. Save now, save later, and protect your engine in the long run with five quarts of mobile super conventional oil and a micro guard filter for $9.99. Plus, get a $5 O'Reilly Auto Parts gift card after mail-in rebate. This offer won't last long, so hurry in today for instant savings. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts. Better prices every day. Limit supplies. See store for details. Hear that? That's the sound of you waking up to another day at your dead-end job. I just really need you to have a more positive attitude with the customers. We've been over this before. And that, that's the sound of your boss getting on your case again. That, that's your wake-up call to make a change. Now hear this.
That's the sound of you calling California College San Diego at 1-800-390-6489 so you can begin career training that can change your life. Call 1-800-390-6489. All it takes is one phone call to learn more about how California College San Diego can help you get the career you want and deserve. That's 1-800-390-6489. 1-800-390-6489. Call now. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size Claim Certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. The cities within San Diego, as well as the port, the airport authority, and the county have joined together to address stormwater pollution prevention. Storm drains and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, pet waste, pesticides, and other pollutants, flows untreated directly into local waterways.
You can help prevent pollution in your area and ways you can make a difference at thinkbluesdregion.org. For auto, home, life, and banking, get to a better state. Find an agent or get a quote at statefarm.com. This report, it's brought to you by IHOP. Celebrate IHOP's National Pancake Day on Tuesday, February 28th from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Enjoy a free short stack of IHOP pancakes when you contribute to Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. Happens February 28th, only one free short a stack per guest. See your store for details. Well, things are starting to clear up, but we have a couple things that just happened. One on the 8 westbound past College Avenue, somebody just walking around. On the 805 northbound before University Avenue, There's a car that stalled there. And on the 805 northbound before Plaza Boulevard, there's a hit and run. This report brought to you by Constant Contact. Constant Contact is turning February into fan brewery. Small business, this is your month to make social media work with social campaigns. It's a new tool from Constant Contact. Visit ConstantContact.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons.
Boots. To go out with a tall girl. And even then I'd be shorter. Woods. And my back is not fat. My stomach is. Lauren. I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. And Jay. I never said I could do a cold read. I said I could act. I'm not kidding. On FM 94.9. So Jay said that he heard that if Daytona gets canceled today... They might have to push it back till like Easter. Yeah, there's a race in Phoenix that all the drivers have to get to. One of our M1s wrote me a private message. I think it's M1 Troy. And he said, did you know that they pushed the date for this back anyway? Because of the NFL was supposed to be locked out. People thought it was going to be locked out. Right. So they were afraid they were going to push the NFL season back. And Daytona 500 would compete with the actual Super Bowl. Oh, wow. So they moved it back a week. And this happened. Had it been last week.
as it was originally scheduled, would have been perfect. Yeah, because they say never. You don't mess with it. Never. It's never been rainy. 54 years. 54 years. Amazing. Incredible. Imagine all those people. You're like, yeah, I guess we'll just go home. So we'll just get on our flight, you know. Yeah, that we had scheduled for today. Yeah. And just take it to the house. Man. Just go back, you know, because that was only two and a half grand. Yeah. So, you know. Took a couple days off work. I'm hungover out of my tree. Right. You know, we've been out here all day drinking. Right. Daytona. Have not seen a race. Haven't seen a race. Most of the people that go to that probably already live in that area anyway. Yeah, well, that is the Super Bowl of racing. That's a traveler. That's a traveler. You travel to that one. It is a. It's a Super Bowl. Yeah. My dental hygienist left from here. They drove out. Say all of that again. Dental hygienist. He said it differently. He said Dental Hygienist. Yes. Dental Hygienist. You saved that first one. Yeah, get that first one. You saved it good. They drove out in their RV. Are they originally from Florida? Nope. Oh. Daytona 500 is something different. It's different. But it's still NASCAR. Yeah. So that's my point. But for that sport, it's the biggest thing there is. It's like IndyCar racing. Indianapolis 500 is the biggest race there is. Right.
The Indy 500. But most NASCAR fans, where do they reside? Everywhere. Do they? Yes. Where do hockey fans reside? It's a lesson I've learned because I didn't buy it. It's huge in San Diego. Yeah. Huge. It is. Jim Rome has had to embrace it, and he said, I will never. It used to be his bit. Yeah. I don't get it. His bit used to be, I will never embrace a sport where everybody turns to the left. Right. That's all they do. It's not a sport if all they do is turn to the left. And then he had to. Because it became so big. It's massive. It is massive. Huge sponsorships, big dollars. California Speedway in Fontana. This is where they race here. They race in Sonoma, which is a twisty race. They don't just turn left. They race at California, which is Fontana. They race in Vegas, Phoenix. They race in a lot of, you know, it's everywhere now. But that 500, forget it. It's, you know, by far and away the more. It's the one like if somebody said, hey, I've got Daytona 500 tickets. Do you want to roll with? And you're like, yeah. No. Yeah, I would go. No chance. I'd rather watch the artists back to back. Oh, wow. I'd go to the Daytona 500. No way. It's like the Kentucky Derby. I could care less about horse racing, but I'd go to that. You wouldn't watch the 500. Well, yeah. I'd go live to watch the 500. I'm not going to watch it on TV. They're very against the artists. Which won last night? Best picture. Yeah, we are. LLB and I are in. We're in union on this one.
You're anti-artist. We're anti-artist. What was that movie you made us go see? Youth in Revolt. Youth in Revolt. Genius. I read the book, so it was really good, but not even close to the book. That was artsy. No. Yeah, it was hipster. It was hipster. Definitely hipster. It was hipster. It was not artsy. See, to me, artsy and hipster are the same thing. Absolutely not. Most hipsters are some form of art. Yeah. They're into it. I'm telling you, I saw The Artist, which won Best Picture, yesterday. Yep. And it was really good. It's funny. Yeah, I loved it. Fun. I'd see it again. In our defense, you just had surgery, so you were on Percocets. Jay was high on marijuana cigarettes when he saw it. That is true. And vodka. We should go see, as a show, we should just go see some live mimes. That would be kick-ass. It sounds like you can convey a lot. Yeah, miming. We should go see that in an amphitheater. I thought of you too, lady.
I thought of you too, L.O.B., because L.O.B., I know, didn't want to see the artist. And there was a scene, and I go, she'd love it. No, no chance. You'd like it. I'd be mad at them the whole time. You would go, this isn't what I expected. You were given the gift of speech. Use it. Yeah, use it. You don't have to. Yeah, you don't have to. That's what we found out. That's what you find out through the artist. You're like. S-O-B, you got me. How did you get me? You and Jay should just go to museums and look at paintings and interpret them and stuff real good. Maybe do some slam poetry reading. You guys should go to some modern dance. Why read a book? What do you mean? Those are words. No, you can see it in a movie now. Why read it when you can just see a movie? Because you paint the picture in your own head. Yeah, it's your imagination. But wait a second. Why is it so old-fashioned? That's it. No, it's not old-fashioned. It's a completely different medium. Do we still use the written word? But you know what? He's right because you do use your imagination when you read. And when you used to watch the silent films, you do use your imagination. But why are silent films not made anymore? Because they don't have to be. Because they're better now. They are better now. They are better now. There's no doubt. They're better now. You're right. It's supposed to be depicting real life. In real life, we speak. That's true. Ouch. It's a time piece. Gosh darn it. You're a time piece. You are a time piece. You're just a piece.
You're a tiny piece. I was driving in today. Strangle you with it. You could not do this. No way. You strangle my pinky with it. If there were a worker bee in this studio, you couldn't strangle a worker bee in this studio. I'm all in. Let's give this a go. Disgusting. Wood says it's... It's long and thin. It's longish and thin. What reason would he have to lie? Longish. Well, when you stretch it out, it's going to get longer. When you take one of your pinchers and it plumps when you cook it. So there it is. Oh, gosh. Brought to you by Hebrew National. Plumps when you cook it. And that's, by the way, not the one that plumps when you cook it. Oh, it's Ballpark Frank. Ballpark Frank. Jay should be Ballpark Jay. Yeah, Ballpark Jay. Just call him VP. That's it. Ballpark J. You're Ballpark J. From this moment on. You're backpacking. I'm Ballpark. From this moment on, you are Ballpark J. Easy Ballpark J. Easy Ballpark J. Settle down in there, Ballpark. Hey, everybody. Ballpark J is here. Hey, VP. Jay, why do they call you Ballpark J? Let me show you. Because I'm supposed to cook it. Let me show you.
Well, I got a thin dong. I would never say that. However, however, when you cook it, it blooms. That's right. It blooms when you cook it. Have you ever left a turkey dog on the grill for seven, eight days? That's what my dong looks like. Well, nine, ten days. No kidding. When Jay calls Woods on his iPhone. It's a picture of a burnt hot dog. Shriveling turkey dog. A burnt, burnt, shriveling turkey dog. Very shriveled. It is the best picture ever. That's what pops up on Woods. You should just send text messages to Jay all the time and be like, I'm going to need you to give me a call. Yeah, can you call me? Jay, just call me. It's the best. It's the best. Well, the best part about all of that is it does plump when you cook it. That is true. It doesn't plump, though, if you leave it on. By plump, you mean like a pinky. Plumps like the balloon that they use for balloon animals. Yes, exactly. I would take that. Just no, stretched out, not blown up. I was driving in this morning and I thought to myself, this could be bad because I work with a professional comedian.
A guy that made me laugh one time so hard that I farted. And a guy that does the funniest parody songs I've ever heard in my life. And is prone to just say things that are funny. This, I could disturb my empty gallbladder space. Yes. The cavity, as Eleanor called it. Yes, it's a gallbladder cavity. Makes me weak. Lucky you filled it full of a bagel. So now that space has been filled. You know, Jay, it's okay to have a bagel. Is it? Darn. Yours was dipped in pudding, though. I don't get it. It's your favorite condiment. Eat what I eat, all right? It's okay to have one bagel. I did. I only had one. Why do you have an entire box of bagels in there? I don't. You put a pinto bean spread on it like usual. Shmear. In fact, they don't have pinto bean smears there. Woods is out. So predictable. Hey, can you get him the enchilada smear? Mike, you must be so disappointed. They don't make it. They do have that jalapeno cheddar that you like.
Man, we damn near have to send Emily down to Tijuana to get your breakfast. Down to the Einstein's Brothers and TJ. Where we're sure they sell enchilada flavored schmear. Do you have that mole? He likes the polo mole. Shmear. Polo mole. El polo loco. That's so great. It's an El Paulo logo. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Come back tomorrow morning at 5.30 and do it again. The Mikey Show's out.