The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 02/29/12
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
groovy and cheersdomino's pizza driverroyce speech imitationthe office soap opera and firemen assaultjapanese tsunami debris and message in a bottlename that tune gamemorgan freeman step granddaughter relationshipwoman revived after being declared deadfoo fighters vocal issueshawaii culture and poigroovydomino's
The show featured Mikey and his crew discussing pet peeves like the word 'groovy' and sharing personal stories, including Mikey’s stint as a Domino’s driver and his imitation of former boss Royce’s speech. They played a lively round of Name That Tune, with Mikey winning by guessing an obscure Eric Idle lyric from Life of Brian, and debated leap‑year traditions such as women proposing to men. Other highlights included a caller’s miraculous story of a woman opening her eyes after being declared dead, a discussion of Morgan Freeman’s controversial relationship with his step‑granddaughter, and Mikey’s lament about the Foo Fighters canceling shows due to Dave Grohl’s voice.
What happened, in order
Groovy rant
Mikey rants about how the word 'groovy' annoys him and debates whether to say 'cheers' or 'chow'.
Domino's driver
Mikey shares that he once worked as a Domino's pizza driver during the '30 minutes or less' era.
Royce imitation
Mikey describes moving to Arizona, getting his first radio job, and imitating his boss Royce's over‑the‑top speech.
Office soap opera & firemen assault
The crew laments how The Office has become a soap opera, then recounts a bizarre story of three firefighters allegedly beating up two brothers in Normal Heights.
Japanese tsunami debris
They discuss how debris from the 2011 Japan tsunami is predicted to wash up on shores of Oregon, Washington, Alaska, and Canada starting in 2014.
Name That Tune game
The show plays Name That Tune for tickets to see Rise Against, with Mikey eventually winning by guessing an obscure Eric Idle lyric from Life of Brian.
Morgan Freeman relationship
They talk about the shocking rumor that 72‑year‑old Morgan Freeman is maintaining a ten‑year relationship with his step‑granddaughter Adina Hines.
Woman revived after being declared dead
A caller recounts a true story of a woman who was declared dead for 45 minutes but opened her eyes when her husband said 'I love you'.
Foo Fighters vocal issues
Mikey laments that the Foo Fighters are canceling shows because Dave Grohl's voice is strained, using their song 'Monkey Wrench' as an example.
Hawaii culture & poi
The crew jokes about Hawaiian slang, mentioning 'lay‑a', 'mahalo', 'halo', and the polarizing food poi and sticky rice.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLaurenJayEmilyRoyceMatt CommerceRickRachelBettyPipeline PorterMorgan FreemanAdina HinesTaylor Swift
34,573 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I was a kid when I was growing up, man. That was the lamest thing you could hear a person say. Groovy? Out of all the stuff, yeah. Groovy was the dumbest, lamest thing. Makes me mad if I hear people say it today. Groovy? Yeah, makes me real mad. Me too. Furious, kind of. It reminds me of when I was a kid. That's why I did it right now. Because I was like, you should do that thing that used to irritate you. Just to hear it in your own ears. Just irritate yourself. Groovy. Lame. Don't say cheers to me either. Don't ever say cheers to me. Cheers. There's cheers guy. There's cheers guy. You're either cheers guy or you're not. How about chow? If you say chow to me, I will belt whip you. I almost just stood up when you said chow. Come here. Get over here. I like chow better than cheers. I do not. Well, if I'm in Italy. Listen, I don't believe anybody but Italian people in Italy. Right.
I mean, nobody should say chow. Sounds cool when they do it. What about people that say adios? It's okay. Same thing. It's all right. Nah. It's so different. Chow's pretentious. Yes. Adios is normal. Adios is normal. It's still another language. It is another language. It's like we talked about yesterday when we said, what would it be like, LLB, if there were a lineup of 10 black guys and a lineup of 10 white guys? Right. And we said, could you say... I'm more attracted to the black guys. Sorry. And we said, yeah, it's fine. Right. We said, but if you said I'm only attracted to the white guys for some reason, that's wrong. Okay. Chow? Can't say it. No. Adios? Totally fine. Got no beef with adios. Don't know why? It just, that's the way it is. I feel equally about the two. I'm an equal opportunity goodbyer. You've never said chow, have you? Probably. Oh, mamacita. Probably. I've said bonjour for hello. I don't speak French. Oh, bonjour. Bonjour. I don't know. Coming from a cute blonde, it might not matter. Girls can do it. Girls can do anything. I'm talking about the guy at the wine tasting with his own cutting board, his own cheese, and his own glass that says, oh, cheers or ciao. I'll slap you. What about aloha? I'll slap you. What about when you're in Hawaii and you say mahalo to people? Trying to fit in. You're trying to assimilate. Trying to fit in. You say mahalo. I've been there.
I've been there. My brother and I, when we went, we did it as a bit. We said it to everyone for everything. And it was as a bit. I do it because I'm trying to fit in and I feel like a dork. Oh, yeah. You should. I feel dorky doing it. But if they say it to me, I'm like... Aloha. Welcome. Aloha. I can't say aloha back. No. One of my favorite stories ever told on these airwaves was L.O.B.'s story about her fiance, Matt Commerce, trying to assimilate himself in Hawaii and speak the native language of pigeon. Yeah. But that was a bit, wasn't it? Well, we know that's what he does. He does it. He does. When he went to my hometown in New Jersey, he was trying to do the accent there. He's like, yeah, we're going to get some cheese steaks. But not as a joke. He's trying to sound like he belongs. And he doesn't think anyone will notice. It's incredible. It's incredible to me. I've never told this story before. I love these. There's two things that I thought the other day. I don't think I've ever said that on the radio. One was that I used to be a Domino's pizza driver. Did you know that? Just get high off your own supply. Did I never see? Have I never said that? Was it during the 30 minutes or less days? Yes. Oh, man. Yeah. I never had it.
You never got there in 30 minutes? I never got called over 30 minutes. Look at you. I lived in a small town. Yeah. But that was one thing. Okay, here's the other. That's pretty genius. Here's the other. I'm going to need to delve into more of that later. Oh, yeah. For sure. Definitely. But here's the other one. When I moved to... Oh, my gosh. I'm already in. He's got his eyes closed. He's slumped back in his chair. I'm already in. It's painful. It's painful for you to say. And it's so, let me tell you how unusual it is. It's so unusual that you guys will think about it later today and you'll go, it takes a different human being to do that. Different breed. Oh, God. It's that weird. Like, but. Before you judge me, I just want you to just know that you all do weird stuff, too. Yeah, yeah, totally. You do. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You're going to be judged a lot. I know. Just so you know. I can't wait. When I was 18 years old, I moved to Arizona, and I got a job, my first job at a radio station. My boss's name was Royce. Royce talked like this. He actually, you know, he actually talked like this. This is the way Royce talked.
I started talking that way and I called friends that I went to high school with and I went from just talking like this to calling them and talking like this and acting normal like this was the way I talk now. And no one, because everybody thought it was so weird, nobody said, why are you talking like that? But I mean, it was pronounced and just, you know, very like over the top. And you weren't doing a bit. No. You had taken that and you had made it your own. I decided. that that's the way that I talk to now. I know, oh, wow. Oh, gosh, I can't look at Lauren. Holy cow. If you ever moved to another country, you'd be like Madonna. You would be Madonna. No, no, no. Guys, guys, guys. Okay, hang on. I was very immature to my defense. I was very immature. I had not grown. I had not matured mentally very much. What has changed? Yeah. Oh. Walk me down. Oh, dang. She told you. Listen. Listen. Here's the deal. I grew up. I grew up and I realized that that... Are you being serious? Yes. Somewhere around 25, I realized that things... Oh, I mean, I stopped doing that. I did it for a good two months. Wow. 60 days. Oh, man. No, no, no, no. I did it again when I moved to New York. In person?
Or just over the phone. When you moved to New York, you figured, hey, these guys don't know Royce. I can be. No, no, no. I can be Royce. Oh, no, Woods. It's worse than that. Oh, God. How can it be worse than that? When I moved to Rochester, New York, I would call friends back home. And I would want them to believe that I had adjusted to the lifestyle out there. And I would talk like this. Oh. What? Adjusted to the lifestyle. You are a Rochesterian. So you're drinking heavily at this point. Yeah, seriously. It took you how long to develop your Rochesterian accent? About a week? 15 minutes. Not very long. At the airport. I was immature, you know. It took me a while to grow up. You were impressionable is a better word. You were very impressionable. Oh, that is it.
I was very impressionable. When did you become not impressionable? That's what I want to know. Man, that's a great question. You met Royce, and you're like, the guy probably drove a Vette, wore a cool Hawaiian shirt, and you're like, I'm in on this guy. I can be Little Royce. They're going to call me Little Royce. Well, Mike still wears those Tommy Bahama shirts. That's true, the Tommy Bahama Hawaiian shirts. You still drive a Corvette, which is weird. That is true. I don't wear a Corvette. Purple Corvette, which I've never seen. I would never drive a Purple Corvette. I saw it this morning. Yeah. Didn't drive itself. Yeah. I don't know whose purple Corvette that is out in the lot, but I know it ain't mine. Yeah. With the license plate Barney. Well, the license plate actually says Royce. Oh, that's right. Royal Royce. What are you laughing for, Mike? Yeah, not you laughing. Not you. Dope. Royce. Royce will get you. Royce will get you, dude. So. So there's a lot of things happening. Part of the reason that they think that Apple's stock soared to $132 a share yesterday. No. It did. You mean? You mean $532? Yeah, sorry. $532 a share. Wow. $532 is stupid. It's because they're going to unveil the iPad 3 next week. Do they ever unveil stuff? Yeah, right? Well, that's, I mean.
It isn't supposed to be a... That's the way they do business. It's not supposed to be a surprise, right? Yeah. What are people going to do with their iPad 2s that they just bought? Yeah, I just got mine. Jay just got his. You don't care, do you, Jay? I don't care. Yeah, I think that there are many... Here's who they know are the... Here's the people that they know are going to buy it. The diehards. The thing about Apple is they've got a tremendous... Diehard population. Oh, yeah. And what they say about this new iPad is stuff that people will want. I'm getting a little tired of the bit. Here's how they're going to do it. A guy's going to take one. He's going to leave it at the bar. Somebody's going to find it because that's how they did the last two iPhones. Guy accidentally left it at a bar. That happened months before the unveiling. They should only be allowed to do one a year. Yes. That's it. I think they do. No? The iPad 2? Didn't that sucker just come out? No. No, because Mikey got it right off the bat. What about the first iPad? Six months before that. Yeah. No, it was about a year. Okay. All right. But the iPad 3, you guys want to know its bit? Yeah. Rumored. Rumored. It might be smaller. You know, because the Amazon Kindle is taking a bite out of it.
The iPad. Really? A little bit. Yeah, because of... And here's the other thing that they're thinking. Maybe. Lower price point. Ooh. That makes me mad. Yeah, because Jay just spent a lot of money for his two. Well, his was gently used, so he's fine. Gently used is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I don't know if it was gently used. It was very gently used. It was used. It was broken. It was sent into the company who fixed it, and then they sold it. Yeah, and I bought it for an anniversary present. What's the big deal? What? Yeah, I've given Kim old shoes before. It's no big deal. She don't mind. Kim didn't care that there was a dried piece of mustard on the top of it. She had to flick off. Yeah, a piece of pastrami stuck to the back. She don't care. What is a piece of mustard or pastrami going to do to a freaking iPad, man? It's got nothing to do with it. The two don't have nothing to do with each other. Brand new. Yeah, I've bought clothes at thrift store for her before. Ain't no thing. She likes it. I call it vintage. Everybody likes vintage. You know there's a whole business of places that they sell half sandwiches that people didn't finish? You can put them together. It's called six inch. And it is good. You know all about the woods. They're barely stale. Barely. Barely stale.
Yeah, six-inch. They got one in Mira Mesa. I think there's one. My jeans are called Hardly Notice. I'm a supplier to many of these vendors. I take whatever people don't eat at major functions and sell it back to six-inch. Sell it back to six-inch. Freaking L.O.V., man. Part of my problem... Part of the reason that I'm still in pain is her. Oh, yeah. She'll catch you. And this guy and that guy. Here's your three biggest problems. I can't. I cannot. Anyway, let's get back on track. I'm sorry. So the iPad 3 is rumored to be small. Smaller. Rumored to be smaller like the Amazon Kindle. Higher resolution, which I don't really care. I don't care about higher resolution. Oh. And it's supposed to have 4G. That is big time. See, I don't care. I don't care because most of the time. No, because I would say 99% of the time that I use my iPad, it's through a wireless. Yeah, through at home or whatever. Yeah, I'm mostly not reading my iPad in the park. You're not a big business traveler. No. Does Facebook work better on there? Because I have 3G on my iPhone. Well, yeah, you know why Facebook.
The reason that Facebook works better is because you can actually go to a website. Right. You don't have to use an app. An app. That Facebook app for the iPhone is the worst app. I'll tell you what, it's the worst app known to man. I can't believe it. That is a true story. Known to man. Two of the biggest companies in the world. Right. And they can't together make it right. I defy you to find a worse app for the iPhone than Facebook. Yeah. Perfectly. Because you're Android. That's right. But then you have to carry an Android. I like carrying an Android. So I'm showing them on my iPad right now what Facebook looks like. It looks great, but that's because I'm at the website. I'm not using an app. Maybe I want an iPad. Yeah, maybe I get one too. You know, here's the thing that's so strange about the freaking iPad is that when that thing came out, even I, who, you know, I'm Apple man. Even I, in the back of my mind, thought, I use it all the time. Do you? I use it all the time. Very convenient, it seems. Yes. And what Apple believes is that eventually more people will use iPad-type devices than computers. Can you print from that thing? Yeah.
You know what? I'm so used to using my iPhone that sometimes I will touch my computer screen and it's not a touchscreen. So I think that's probably part of the logic as well. It's like people have become used to that. I'll tell you what. We bought that Kindle Fire for Christmas for ourselves. No, I've never used it. I got it for my boyfriend. I've never used it. My goodness. I got it for him. I'm like, what do you use? by the way. He's like, I use it all the time. He does? For what? We have the iPad in the living room and everybody's always on. It gets passed around. Yeah. Man. You guys are going to be sad. James Spader's leaving the office. Oh. Come on. Why? Because they say that producers told Variety magazine that he was only supposed to be on for one season as it was. For what? That's right. I was only on for one season. How does that make you? I've got other S to do. Okay? Yeah, but don't you love the fact... Yeah, I love it, but, you know, listen. They've been phasing him out. Yeah, they have been phasing me out. James, yes. Don't you love the fact that you're so loved? Yes, I know that I'm loved. It's called going out on top, Mike. That's my favorite character that you've done so far. I appreciate it. Robert California. I appreciate it. Bob California. Yeah. CEO. Now you're going to leave? Yeah, I'm leaving. I've got other stuff to do. I wouldn't leave on the top, and what do you have to do? Pretty in pink, too. Is it because...
Now they've turned The Office into kind of a soap opera. Like, there's a lot of romance. There's all the romance. It's annoying. Yeah, it is kind of annoying. And Dwight Schrute's character has gotten a little old. Yeah. Okay? I would never leave The Office. It's a great job. Yeah. That show is a great job. And he's barely on it. I mean, he's on it like every other episode. Did you guys hear about these three firemen that beat up two brothers? No. This is a weird story, man. Front of the UT. Three firefighters are in jail on suspicion of robbery and assault. It was in Normal Heights. Police get called at 2.15 in the morning to Adams Avenue and 34th Street. And these two brothers said they just got jumped by three dudes. Turns out all three of these guys are supposed to be firemen. This is all alleged until it's all proven in court. Two of the firemen restrain one of the brothers. Third one assaults them. And then they took their wallets and their cell phones and said to them, allegedly, we know who you are and where you live. Now, it all started because earlier, one of the firefighters said something derogatory to one of the victims, which led to probably jawing back and forth. Alcohol appears to have played a role.
So weird. So weird. People ever get aggro on alcohol? Mm-hmm. Guys ever want to fight? Yeah, occasionally I've seen it. Yeah. A couple times. So, yeah, that is not good. That is not good. But that's a big story out there today. You're going to see it on the cover of the UT. Later on, we're going to be talking about today being leap day. This is a trippy story. Check this out. The tsunami that happened a few years back, you know, that stuff is now starting to, to the, all the debris. Okay. Which by the way, it was, they say one to 5% has made it, you know, has existed still out in the ocean. One to 5% of all the debris, but you have to understand how much debris there was. I mean, we're talking about square miles of debris that got swept out to sea. Well, a lot of it sank. Some of it is now washing up on shore on islands that are just north of Hawaii. Now, check this out. In 2014, it's going to start washing up in Oregon, Washington, Alaska, and Canada. Debris from Japan. How trippy, dude, would it be to be walking on the beach in Oregon and all of a sudden some Japanese magazine? Yeah. Which is very light. I mean, it could happen. Yeah.
I mean, debris, we're talking wood, we're talking stuff that floats, is going to start washing up on shore in Oregon, Washington, Alaska, and Canada in 2014. Weird. That's wild. Yeah. Like treasure hunting. Spread 3,000 miles across the ocean. It's kind of exciting. Yeah, it is. Yeah? You guys ever do messaging a bottle-type bit when you were kids? Yes. I wanted to. You did LOB? Mm-hmm. What'd you do? I just put something in there like my name and my phone number when I was like, you know, eight years old or something like that. Describe the bottle. It was a plastic bottle. But looking back on it, I would never do that now. Right. Monster. I know. It was like a two liter soda bottle. And I just put a note in there. And I was like, I took the, I thought I was being conscientious by taking the wrapper off of a two liter bottle of soda. Then what did you do? I threw it and it bobbed. For just, like, bobbed for the longest time until a wave started to, like, sort of take it away. And then I just waited patiently. No one's ever called. Nothing. How old were you? Probably, like, eight. Nothing. Nothing. Gosh darn it. Nothing. Not a thing. It could still happen. We did the balloon bit where we would hook it on a balloon and flat away it's like, hey, call us. Nothing. Nothing. No one ever called. Is that only in movies or something? Yes. It sucks. Nicholas Sparks.
Yeah. Nicholas Sparks. Message in a Bottle. Yeah. What was that? It's a book. It's a book. Message in a Bottle. And then I think they made it into a stupid movie. He's the guy that did Notebook, I think. Yes. What a bummer. You want that to happen. You want to get a phone call. Of course. May I speak to Lauren O'Brien, please? I was a hopeless romantic when I was a kid. Really? Nothing happened. You're still a hopeless romantic. Yeah. Probably deep down under layers of jaded bitterness. Oh, wow. Wow. You can't be jaded and bitter anymore. Not anymore, I guess. You got a ring on your finger. Yeah, it's true. Now you got to be... Sweet. Sweet and romantic. I probably am. I've been crying more these days. Really? Emotional. Yeah. Did you change your birth control pill? No. That happens, you know. When I changed mine... Yeah. It was a hell on earth. I remember that week. You were pretty moody. Yeah, you were moody that week. I changed it. Man. If I won the lottery...
I would give you all a lot of money, apologize, and leave. For your moodiness during your birth control switch? Yeah, you were very hormonal for a stretch there. I know that. Sometimes art... Imitates life. Imitates life. Sometimes it's funny because it's true. Well, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction, yes. Our phone number here is 570-1949, and you can also text... 949mikey at gmail.com. I really want to find some Japanese debris. That would mean such. Can you isolate that a little bit, please? Can you please save that clip? Because I'm going to need to hear that again. Can you rejoin? Now, where will we play that? I don't know. It's just good. It's just good. Maybe it's a rejoin. I know, but that doesn't really... Oh, yeah, it does. Totally. I really want to find some Japanese debris. That is me. That is 100% genuinely me. That's right. Hopefully you find one of those little cats that has one arm up. It's hard for me to believe that there are people in the world that wouldn't care to be...
A Japanese debris finder. It's hard for me to believe that. I would not be a Japanese debris finder. I see debris on the beach. I'll either throw it away or just step over it. It doesn't fascinate you that that came from Japan? No. We always hunt for the glass balls. You know the glass balls that they use to put in the fishing nets? Because they would actually blow them on the deck of the ships. So the glass balls still show up. Do any of you guys know what the gods have? I don't have a freaking clue. No idea, but you're talking dirty about... No, no. They take glass and they blow it into a glass ball. This is where they used to make their fishing nets. Is it hollow inside? It's hollow inside. And this was back in the day. What do you mean back in the day? Like back in the pirate days? No, back in, you know... 1940s? Like the 60s? 60s. And these glass balls still show up because they would escape out of the nets. Because it was a cheap material because they could make plastic flows because they didn't have them. I have a question. Oh, it's a float. It's a float. They use them to float the cup. I was wondering what the plastic. It just floats. So they still show up in Hawaii. There's like a beach there that they, in Kauai, that everybody goes to and looks for these glass balls. It's called Glass Ball Beach. Glass Ball Beach. What do you do with, I mean, if you find it? Well, now they macrame like this little, or put some kind of holder on it.
Oh, the netting thing? Yeah. I've seen those before. I've never seen those. Glass balls are everywhere, so you find them on the beach. Ah. My wife and I were thinking about taking a vacation to Hawaii, so maybe we hit Glass Ball Beach when we're there. That's true. I've never been to Kauai. Sounds like a good time. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Boring. Yeah, I have heard that. Actually, I would happily throw that out there so less people go. It is so boring. It's so boring. It really is. It's boring as hell. We have good news for you. When we come back, for a change, we have some good news for you. You know, a lot of times the news can be sad. This is some good stuff that we have in there to report. We'll do it next. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. How'd you do? I rocked. Game, set, and match. Congrats. Thanks. I really covered a lot of ground out there. Yeah? Yep.
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During the 12 Ways to Save sale at O'Reilly Auto Parts, buy a five-quart bottle of peak conventional motor oil and a micro-guard filter for $9.99. Plus, you'll also get a $5 O'Reilly gift card after mail-in rebate. That's just one of the ways to save now and get a $5 savings later. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly Parts. Couple incidents. One, West Madison, the on-ramp to the North 805. We've got signals that are not working correctly. Starting to see a little backup behind there, so just treat it like a four-way stop and get on through. The 805 northbound before the 54 east, there's an accident there. And as you travel on to the 905 eastbound, you'll find delays from Corporate Center Drive to Cactus Road in the 30s right now. This report brought to you by Keep Your Home California. Hey, if you're unemployed, a homeowner struggling financially, you may qualify for nine months of mortgage assistance. Visit KeepYourHomeCalifornia.org or text HOME to 55678. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Keep easy, the good financial media station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. Welcome to The Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm 41.
Woodsy's our sports guy. He's 36. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. She is 31. Jay's our executive producer. He's 48. And Emily is screening calls for us today, and she is 19 years old. If you want to say hi, give us a call. 570-1949. That's the number. Call us up. Say hi. Talk about whatever you want. Ask questions. Do whatever. Text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. A few things going on. Word of the day, by the way, is wrench. When I say wrench between now and 9 a.m., you've got to be calling 9, and I will give you a four-pack of tickets to the Nationwide Series. It's coming to the Auto Club Speedway. That is going to happen on May 24th. Big tickets, big thing, and you can go. This was something that...
I don't know. Should we be surprised, Woods, that the NFL is moving their first game? No, I don't think so. They announced yesterday that they're moving the opening game of the regular season to Wednesday, September 5th. It's the first time they've played a game on a Wednesday since 1948. Really? Now, the reason that they're doing it is because I believe... I believe it would have been Thursday night. They usually do the Thursday night opener. So they're going to move it back a day, which is good for us. We get a day earlier. Why? Because of President Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention. Which is happening on Thursday. Yeah, it would happen on September 6th. Okay. So they're going to move it up a day. They don't want to conflict with that. And it's a week earlier, last year of September, or this year, September 11th, 2011. Yeah, it was. That's right. So. Opening night on a Wednesday. Weird. That is weird. You know what sucks? It's freaking February and we have to wait until September for opening night. That's what sucks. Long way away. That's a long way away. Anthony Robbins is 52 today. Ja Rule is 36. Got a new record out yesterday. Yeah, yesterday. Yeah. Happy birthday, Ja Rule. Yeah. His real name is Jeff Adkins. No way.
It's true. So J-A. J-A. Yeah, Ja Rule. Jeffrey Atkins. Wow. Yeah. Learn something new every day. Sounds very regal. Yes. So this day, 2,058 years ago, in 46 B.C., is when leap year started. This day, 2,058 years ago, in 46 B.C., why did leap year start? Because the Romans wanted to add an extra day to the Julian calendar, whatever that is, to make it agree with the Earth's orbital period. So they did leap year. Which means that every four years, there's a date called February 29th. Every four years. So weird. Yeah. What a joke. But for the next three years, on February... 28th. It will be the last day of February for three solid years. But then on the fourth year, there's a 29th. Now, we were talking about this earlier. What a pain for people that were born on this day. My friend Rick was born on this day. He was born on a leap year. What do you do? I think what you do is the 28th. Or the first. Or the first.
It still just doesn't feel the same. It's your choice. It's your parents' choice. Yeah. Your parents decide. If your parents decided when you were a baby that it was going to be March 1st, it's March 1st. What if they just decided that you were only going to celebrate it every four years? They're monsters. That would be mean. That would be the worst mom and dad. Yeah. It'd be terrible. What if they told you your birthday was on the 1st or the 28th until they felt you were old enough to handle? that you were born on the 29th. The 29th. Yeah, and imagine your shock and dismay. Yeah, you're 16 years old. They're like, it's time. Yeah, we gotta tell them. Yeah. We gotta tell them. Am I adopted? Oh, no. No. You're born on February 29th. Born on February 29th. Yeah, born on Leap Year. We got M1 Rachel on the line who was, today's your birthday? Yeah. Happy birthday, Leap Year. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. So, what do you do? You celebrate... What do you do the rest of the three years? Well, I think my family was cheating because maybe I was an idiot little kid that didn't understand. But we always did February 28th. And when I turned 21, I had to wait till March 1st. So I had like, it was awful. No way. Wow. So that's what the government imposed on you. March 1st. Wow, I didn't even think about that. Me either. The government ruined my birthday. Government ruined her birthday.
crappy thing. Imagine that bouncer. And it's not your fault. Imagine that bouncer and how geared up you are on the 28th when you go out for your, you know, you're going to go to a bar. You're like, come on, dude, it doesn't exist. I actually, when I was younger, I went to buy a pack of cigarettes and I had, I got carded and the guy was like, oh, all right, I'll give them to you this once. And I was like, why? And he's like, Next time you make a fake ID, make a real birthday. Oh, God. Oh, God, that's right. He thought it was a fake date. Oh, wow. Oh, poor thing. Make a real birthday. It's really hard. And when you said I was born on leap year, what did he say? He was like, oh, okay. I'll show you a word. Yeah, you're not so smart now, are you, Circle K guy? Yeah. I love it. Thank you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. HPD. Spanking. That was going to be said by our buddy. That's a weird thing. It is strange, right? Spanking. Spanking. And a pinch to grow an inch. What? A pinch to grow an inch. Oh, yeah. Is it creepy if my teacher used to do that? Yes, it is. It's a very creepy guy. No, it was a woman. She would do a pinch to grow an inch. Where would she pinch you? Anywhere. She pinched it. All of us. All the students.
As long as it wasn't the crotch area, then you're fine. The nipple. Okay. The nipple would be inappropriate. Would it? Pinched to grow in there. Pinched to grow in there. Ow! That would be highly inappropriate. Yeah. There is an app called Swack It, which I'll admit happens to be a pretty good weather app. I don't like weather apps. I think they all suck. This one's not that bad. It actually does a pretty good job of predicting the weather. Today, clouds. With intervals of sunshine. Feast. This is Mikey's weather forecast. Yes. For the day in San Diego. Swacket says you need a hoodie and shades today. By Swacket, you mean Mike Esparza. Yeah. Well, you can make all the jokes you want. You do a lot of weather research. I know that. You could have, like, come up with an app name that was less, you know, had less of an innuendo. Right. Less creepy. Flacket sounds a little bit dirty. It's a little creepy. If you were going to go through the trouble of becoming a meteorologist. Amateur. Yeah. How dare you. Part time. Since gas prices are getting really high, I posted a list of the lowest priced gas places in San Diego on our Facebook fan page. Nice. Yeah.
So you can go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show and like our page and then check it out. And then I put some map. There's maps on there to all the different places to get this gas. Hit a fresh 450 yesterday. It was like $10 more to fill up my tank. The average is 433. Hit a fresh 449 yesterday. Real good. Oh, my gosh. I was so mad. Dude. Romney won in Michigan. Now, tonight is also particularly special for me because this is the place where I was born. This is the place where I was raised. My mom and dad lived many years here and love this great state. And I know that the Michiganders in this room, we consider you all family. Thank you so much for your help. And in this room are the people who knocked on the doors and made the calls and went to the polls. And it made an enormous difference. We didn't win by a lot, but we won by enough. And that's all that counts. He won in Michigan and Arizona last night. and gained back some momentum that Santorum had, who's shot himself in the foot. Gosh, that guy cannot get out of his own way. And saying things that make him sound dumb. Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, way behind in both those states. Now, here's the deal. Next Tuesday is Super Tuesday. Ten states will be voting on Super Tuesday. Mitt Romney seems like the kind of guy who would fire you.
Period. If there's going to be a guy in the business that's going to fire you, it's a guy that looks and talks just like Mitt Romney. Oh, yeah. Hey, really sorry, but we're moving in a different direction. Business is business. Yes. He looks like someone who would just suck the fun out of the room. Yeah. You would be like all joking around. Yes. Talking about, you know, what happened over the weekend. And then he walks into the building and everyone's like. You know who else he is? He is your. One of your good friend's dads, that when he's like, hey, come to my house and shoot hoops, you're like, is your freaking dad there? If your dad's there, then let's just go to my house. Dude, we can't do anything at your house. Your dad's home. He's a jerk. He's always in his office working. Yes. He's demanding silence all the time. He's the dad that gets mad at every little thing. Yes. So you're over there hanging out with your friend, and he comes in, and he goes, did you leave the gas cap off for the lawnmower? For the gas can? Yeah, I did. Sorry, Dad. You left the gas can lid off? I did. I'm sorry. For crying out loud? Lighten up. I've told him 40 times, Marsha. I'm sorry. How many more times? I told you don't leave that cap off of there. Dad, I'm sorry. You know gas can evaporate? What are you, a scientist, Dad? That's not going to help you. That is not going to help you. What did you say, young man? You heard me. Stop it. Wow. You're grounded.
Four years. Feast on this. Four years. Feast on this, Get Romney. You're grounded for a term. Yeah, a term. Yeah, Woods says he should be called Get Romney. Yeah, Get Romney. He is something else. I told you that we had good news. We actually do. The economy's getting strong, man. There's more jobs in this country right now. The Dow closed over 13,000 yesterday for the first time since... 2008. Excellent. Yeah, it is. David Lee Roth thinks so, too. Very exciting. The other ones went up, too. You know, like the S&P 500? Yep. That was way up. Highest level since June 2008. Nice, right? It's very nice. I had to grow up. I don't know what any of that means. It doesn't, well. I know what the acronyms stand for. Yeah, yeah. Standard & Poor's. Mm-hmm. Now, well, what, Standard & Poor's are the top 500 companies in America. Ah. Like the Fortune 500? Yeah, kind of. Okay, all right, all right. The S&P 500. The NASDAQ hasn't traded that high, I'm talking about yesterday, since December of 2000. It's excellent. This country is starting to come around. Knock on wood, Mike, every time you say that. It's healing up, though. I feel the Rocky montage in my head when I think about the United States of America right now. Coming back. Mm-hmm.
Just running stairs. Oil prices are backing up a little bit. They're taking a breath, Mikey. Apparently, this last weekend, there was a meeting of the world's top 20 economies. This last weekend, the top 20 economies got together. They had a little talk. That's part of the reason that the prices of the gas is coming down a little bit. Maybe it hasn't been reflected yet, but it will soon. Consumer confidence, big time on the rise. So it's good news for our country. It's really good news. Economy's coming around. This is not good news. The 17-year-old shooter apparently was shooting randomly. We're talking about the kid that went into the Ohio high school and started shooting. The death toll has risen to three. It's very unfortunate. It's very, very unfortunate.
The prosecutor in the case says this isn't about bullying. It's not about drugs. It's someone who isn't well. And he says, I'm sure the court case will prove that all of your desires will make sure that justice is done here in this country. And they expect to try him as an adult. Insanity plea, I bet. Maybe there are metal detectors at all schools. Yeah, maybe. It just doesn't matter. It's sad that that's what it has to come to. Yeah, but I mean, you're a kid. This is your kid you're talking about. It is sad, but it's a reality. All the way in. But he was also shooting people that were outside as well. So, I mean, what does that do? Well, you got to do your best. You got to put your best foot forward. And there was a coach, football coach, that helped out. I heard that guy grabbed a bulletproof vest. Wow. Guess what? They had a bulletproof vest there. Why do you think they had that? Yep. Right? Yeah. He's the one that chased the kid down. Gosh. That's pretty awesome right there. Yeah, that's a brave dude. A different time than when I was in high school. Yeah, that wasn't bulletproof vests.
This guy, I mean, it was like breaking the glass on a fire extinguisher or an axe. Now they got to have bulletproof vests. We had a guy arrested for drugs at our school and like with the cop cars came in and the cops. You would have thought it was, I mean, it was the craziest scene we'd ever seen. Now that probably happens, you know, once a day somewhere. Gosh, that's freaky. I mean, I will never forget it. I like sitting there going, oh God, oh no. My heart's racing now. It's like, no big deal. At our high school, we had gates that would shut in between classes. All these metal gates because they'd had some problems. And these gates would just shut. So, I mean, I can't believe it was fire. Fire safety? Yeah, but still, they would lock them down. Wow, man. 570-1949. I want to know what you think about that. You know, schools having to take the extra precaution of having a metal detector. How about armed security? Yeah. Thank you. How about armed security? At least be some sort of deterrent. Our security guard at my high school was about 115 years old. And he slept in the, there was like a little booth in the parking lot. And he would, you'd drive by, you'd be cutting class. And he's in the booth going. We didn't have that. We had that. We didn't even have security. Keep you from leaving campus. Yeah. You have to show them your pass. That's what I was thinking. Shouldn't the parents be locking down these guns? This kid got it from his uncle.
Stole it from his uncle. Is that how? Yep. Dude. It's brutal, man. Oh, man. Woods, that's a good idea, man. Have an armed dude. Armed marshal. Yep. At every school. They can barely afford to pay teachers. Yeah, right. I know, but, I mean, hey, listen, if somebody put that to a vote, I'd vote yes. Absolutely. To protect your kids. Right. To have an armed marshal at a school in case something happened. Pretty much starting in middle school. You know, at every middle school and high school. Yeah. You know what, man? These days, universities too. I mean, things have gotten so out of hand. Hey, they had a sniper at the Super Bowl. They had a sniper in a blind. You know, that's what they call those things that you can't see them. They had him in a blind just to make sure that if anybody went wacko, take this guy out. It's incredible. That rig that was set up at the Super Bowl is something else. Legit, right? Do you think it's one guy that stands post or do you think they worked in shifts? What do you mean? The sniper. At the Super Bowl? Yeah. Probably one dude. Oh, I think one dude. One guy. One Billy Badass. I think he could handle three hours. Have he stopped to scratch his face? No, it's true. I'd be willing to bet it's two. You got your spotter, which has got binoculars going. Yeah, spotter with the binoculars. And then you got your other guy that's just on point. Yeah. Scary times, man. 570-1949. We're getting calls now. Let's see. Put that on hold, Emily. There you go. M1 Betty from San Diego. You there? Go ahead.
I was just saying that I think that what our school did in high school, I just recently graduated from high school, was a good idea. They actually put huge six-foot fences and gates around our high school. It was actually really dramatic for us. Probably my sophomore year, someone had left campus, and they cut class, left, and they got in a car accident and died. Oh, my gosh. these huge fences and posted security guards at both the exits. Scared you guys. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But it was a great security measure because anytime you come in and out, you had to actually check in with the guard and show them your ID and make sure that you belong there. Had a pass to get out. Yep. You have to have a pass to get out. And there's no way you could get off of the campus because of these huge fences. And they were actually like prison fences. But couldn't that be bad, though? If something does go down, you can't get out? Can't get out. You know? Sure. Sure. I mean, fire precaution, but... Betty, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. This is M1 Pipeline Porter from Carlsbad. Are you there? Yeah, how you guys doing? Good.
Yeah, I'm a senior in high school right now at Carlsbad. And we got an armed guard on campus every day. That's good. Nice. That's good, dude. Need it. Yeah, I mean, it sucks that that's what it's come to. Yeah, but you need it. Gotta have it. Gotta have it. Hey, thanks for the call. Guarantee, well, I can't guarantee, but I bet a lot that you don't know this. We're talking about leap year. Did you know that it's a bit on leap year? That women traditionally are supposed to propose to men. Yeah. I did not know that. You knew that? Yeah, there's a movie with Amy Adams or something where she goes to Ireland. And does that? Yeah. Oh, gosh. 24% of women are actually considering proposing to their boyfriends today. According to a study. 24%? Yes. Wow. I thought you had to be in Ireland to do it, though. That's not what this says. Well, Jay is basing it on his knowledge of the romantic comedy that Amy Adams was in. So, Jay, just because it's in a movie, it doesn't mean that that's... Is that real? Right. I thought it was a documentary. 70% of men would like it if a woman proposed and only 14% say they'd be horrified. I wouldn't be horrified, but... 70% of them are lying. Or at least 68% of those guys are lying. Man. Woods.
I mean, I couldn't be any further from that guy. It would scare me to death. Don't propose to me. It wouldn't scare me. It would emasculate me. It would emasculate me. It would be weird. So how did you guys do it? Oh, well, she took me to Niagara Falls and she got on one knee. I feel like a dork. 100%. You would be a dork. You wouldn't feel like one. You are a dork. She just looked up at you and said, marry me. No. Yes, absolutely. You know what I'd say? I'd say, I'll tell you what, if that happens, I'll be asking. Yeah, when I'm ready. Oh, I wouldn't. I'd be, that'd be down. What if she said, marry me, and he said, I know, one day I will. I'm going to. We'll get there. Plan on it. Jay, you wouldn't feel like a dork? No way. I would say this girl really loves me. You know, it's like, depends on the moment. I mean, if she did, if she took me to a waterfall and got down on one knee, I was like, but if we were. Oh, I'd feel so emasculated. If you were in the moment. Making love, you mean. Yeah, if we were making love. Jay, that is so dumb. You're making love, and she goes, will you marry me? Yes, I would like that, Mike. He sometimes thinks, like, so strange. Yes, yes, I will. Will you marry me? I will, yes. I will, yes, I'll marry you. Again and again and again.
In a heated moment, you'd be like... Yeah, then you'd kick yourself in the nuts. No way. You'd be in love. Girls mature faster than boys. Yes. I guess so. And they're smarter. Are you saying that because Jay said such a weird thing? No, I'm saying like, what if she's ready first and then he's not ready? Hey, better wait, kid. Yeah, usually the guy is farther behind. That is one of the dorkiest things. It's super dorky. I can't believe it's a real stat and it is. The name of the movie was Leap Year. Weird. There you go. Clever. Must miss. We're going to play Name That Tune next. What's the prize, Jay? Today's prize is a pair of tickets to see Rise Against at the VAS Arena, formerly known as Cox Arena. It's at SDSU on April 15th. All right, call us now, and we're going to play Name That Tune, so you've got to pick Me, Woods, or L.O.B. What's the theme? Yeah, what is the theme? It's a very sweet song. Oh. Oh, nice. Joe, coming up. I always have to look my sexier.
That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42 pens. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Jerome's Furniture. You should not be going to any other place. If you are going to purchase furniture, there is no other place you should be going. No smoke and mirrors. It's the... only place in San Diego that I've gotten our furniture from. I love the stuff that they have. I love the selection. I love the price. And the thing that they do is, it's called Jerry's Price. And it's an everyday low price. You don't have to worry about sales gimmicks. You don't have to worry about that stuff. To me, that speaks volumes. Five locations in San Diego. Morena Boulevard, San Marcos, Chula Vista, El Cajon, Scripps Ranch. 57 years in business, they're doing something right. Family owned, and I've met them. I'm telling you, man, they're legit. They know what they're talking about when it comes to furniture. And their business model is just fairness and good quality and always giving people a value. So head down there today. It's Jerome's Furniture. The weather's getting warmer, and that means it's time to start working on your yard.
Right now at O'Reilly Auto Parts, you can pick up a SuperStart lawn and garden battery starting at $19.99. SuperStart batteries are built extra tough with unbeatable vibration resistance. And with a 12-month limited warranty, you can count on SuperStart batteries to start your riding more attractor time and time again. Springtime means yard work and lots of it. So when it's time to replace your battery, let the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts help you choose the SuperStart lawn and garden battery that's right for you. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today for a reliable, hard-working SuperStart lawn and garden battery starting at $19.99. SuperStart lawn and garden batteries are available exclusively at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Get your winner on at Mammoth Mountain. Mammoth is 100% open with the best terrain for your ski week adventures. Or for the fun and excitement of the U.S. Snowboarding and Free Skiing Grand Prix. February 29th through March 3rd. Don't just take their word for it. Three-time X-Game gold medalist, Kaya Tursky. How's the snow at Mammoth? The conditions are always picture-perfect in Mammoth, warm and sunny. See you at Grand Prix. For lift tickets, lodging, and more, visit mammothmountain.com or call 800-Mammoth. FM 94.9 and Azusa Pacific University are teaming up to recognize teachers who make a positive impact on the lives of students. With teachers or heroes, teachers can motivate, excite, and energize.
Good teachers should be rewarded for helping students aspire. A good teacher brings more than reading, writing, and arithmetic to the classroom. They impassion a student with a lifelong love for learning. How many teachers can you look back on and say, if it weren't four, who knows where I'd be today? Go to FM949SD.com and tell us about a teacher that helped motivate you. Teachers are heroes, made possible by Azusa Pacific University, Legoland, California, and FM949. The price of gas was really taking its toll on my wallet. Oh, hey, Shelly. So, to save some money, I've started taking the bus that sort of goes by my office. Mom, stop talking. You're embarrassing me. Did I mention it's my daughter's school bus? There, I just did. Hey, a penny saved. Stop. Stop it. Penny earned. There's an easier way to save. To get a free rate quote, go to Geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local Geico office. Meet one of your local Geico agents. Hi, folks. Actually, we've got a lot in common, you and I. Um, we do? You like to save folks 15% or more on their car insurance? Sure do. I like to save folks 15% or more on their car insurance. It's like we're twins, separated at birth. Okay.
Except for the old tail thing. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hi, this is LOB, and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's Ovation Cell Therapy. You know how I know? How's that? Because I use it, too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great, and I have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You, too, can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select... FM 949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com, and remember, FM 949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection. This report is brought to you by Allstate. On the 94 westbound of the 5 North Connector, still an accident working here. Tow truck's on the scene.
That's Madison on-ramp to the north 805. Careful as you go through there. Those traffic lights are not working correctly. And you've got some slowing as you travel on the 54 eastbound Point Parkway, Sweetwater Springs Boulevard, 38 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Rhodes Bake and Serve. Make any meal special with Rhodes Bake and Serve rolls. Serve them so hot the butter melts. Just thaw, rise, and bake. Remember the rolls. Rhodes rolls in your grocer's freezer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Nuclear science is not my passion. Woods. You can take a turd and rub it in wasabi and soy sauce. Tastes like sushi. Lauren. It's not called love making playlist, but it is my love making playlist for... And Jay. Yesterday we were out skateboarding on the ramp. And I'm thinking, I'm almost 50 and I'm skateboarding. It's great. I'm going to break a hip. On FM 94.9. It's one of the grosser stories. It's just gross. It's disturbing. It's disturbing. It's gross. It's weird. Morgan Freeman to marry his step-granddaughter. Come on, man. Come on, man. It's unbelievable. You know how many jaws just dropped right now? Yeah. A few weeks ago. Let me read this to you. A few weeks ago, a disturbing story broke that Morgan Freeman was maintaining a 10-year relationship with his step-granddaughter, with whom he had questionable sexual encounter with when she was young.
This is from Yahoo News, by the way. Yes, they are not related through blood, but 72-year-old Morgan Freeman and Adina Hines, who is now 27 years old, which means that she would have been 17 when they first got together. Once Morgan Freeman's wife found out about the secret affair, she filed for divorce, and now that proceedings are going through, Him and her are set to get married. That would be his soon-to-be ex-wife's granddaughter by blood. Granddaughter by blood. Yes. Wow. Gives me the shivers. So that, like, ruins him. Yeah. Well, and if you're Morgan, you're like, I can't do that. You know, well, if you're anybody. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to be like, well, I can't do that. Right. The, you know.
40-something-year-old age difference notwithstanding. Notwithstanding. Yes. If Morgan Freeman wants to date a 27-year-old, that's weird enough. Yes. That's weird enough. That's weird enough. But the fact that he probably helped raise her. Oh. That's creepy. If you weren't in on Taylor Swift, what about this? Last week, this dude in high school, cancer patient, invited her to. his senior prom. And she said that she was too busy. She couldn't do it. But listen to what she did say. Put this on her Facebook page. She said, Kevin, I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make it to your prom. But I was wondering, the ACM awards are coming up. Would you be my date? Love, Taylor. That's awesome. That is awesome. It's incredible. Awesome squared. It's freaking great. Yep. That's so cool. Wonderful score. I know. Seriously. He'll get a sympathy French at least. Man. 100%. I bet he'll get a sympathy French. He won't get a sympathy French. Why? He'll get a sympathy kiss. Kiss on the cheek. No. No, on the mouth. No. I think she will kiss him on the... No. No, she won't kiss him on the mouth because if she did, she would know that that, in his mind, he would go for the tongue. And then second base. And then who knows what would happen. So she won't kiss him on the mouth. She won't kiss him on the mouth. Kiss him on the mouth. She'll kiss him on the cheek. Right?
That SOB. Not SOB. He's a lucky kid, man. He's going to be in a tuxedo going to the American Country Music Awards with Taylor Swift. Right. How cool is that? And she got the country song of the year Grammy, so she'll be a big deal at the ACMs. Hey, by the way, speaking of country, I know, Woodsy, that you're not a fan of Bruce Springsteen. Right. But Kenny Chesney covered the one song you do like. I'm on fire. Identical J is the lyrics. Jay was a lyricist. That's so weird. True. Written by Morgan Freeman. And Jay co-author, Jay Isabel. This actually... Sounds good. It got me and I was like, that ain't bad, man. No. Give it a chance. I got a thumbs up. Lauren's got a thumbs down. Got a thumbs up on the music.
Beautiful. Thumbs down on the voice. What about you, Jay? Yeah, I'm kind of in the middle. He's in the middle. It's not spooky enough. Yeah, that song. It's supposed to be spooky. Bruce is real creepy spooky in that song. L-O-B? Yes. You may have just changed my mind. Yeah, seriously. It's one of my, I'm a Bruce Springsteen fan. I'm from New Jersey. It's one of my favorite. You go to jail if you don't, right? Pretty much, yeah. If you're from New Jersey, you don't like them. You get drawn and quartered. Yeah, you get drawn and quartered. You just sign a contract. Like when you're a baby, they thumbprint you. Thumbprint you, yeah. The boss. You have to like him. And it just says the boss. The boss. That and Bon Jovi. Yeah. You just got me. Yeah, it's not spooky. It's too happy. Too countrified. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Let's see this. They did it on television. Same that team. And today, the theme is really sweet songs. Yeah, sweet songs. All right, hang on. Hang on. I'm testing mine. Sorry. Is it work? Yeah. Before we begin... I'll test ours. Everyone... Before we begin, let's make sure that Woods' buzzer works correctly. Mine works correctly. Lauren's works correctly. Woods, now, you don't have to. I was just going to ask you politely, if you don't mind, please don't bang on the buzzer.
Lovely songs to someone. And what is the prize? The prize is a pair of tickets to see Rise Against at the Viejas Arena. All right. M1 Migs, are you there? Yes, sir. Who would you like to choose? My boy, Woods. Yeah, Woods is pretty good at this. Yeah, he is. When my buzzer works. M1 Meter Reader from Oceanside, who do you want? I got Mikey. No, look at you. Wow. Look at you. All of you. M1 Jason from Mira Mesa. You got L.O.B. Hang on, okay? I'm going to pick her anyway. Yeah, that's right. Trying to rush him off the line. There you go. All right, let's do this. L.O.B. did it. L.O.B. did it. L.O.B. did it. I'm the scorekeeper. My hand slipped. All right, here we go. Here we go. Oh, you S.O.B. L.O.B. Eternal Flame. Damn it! I was trying to stare her down. I was going to say, do you understand? Do you understand? She's doing your bit now where she just hits it. No, no, no. I really knew it, but then I got so wrapped up in the song, I was going to sing it. Gosh darn it. And here we go. Okay. Oh, gosh darn it. I'm walking on sunshine. Wow. Dang it. She is hot. She is hot today. He's on one. Here we go. Oh. Woods. Hanson. Awesome that I knew that one. You can bring yourself the same bop. Feel good songs. Here we go. Ella B. Corinne Bailey.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Look at her. You are on fire today. Holy cow. I'm sweet. You are sweet. Here we go, sweetness. Woods. The Beatles. Here we go. I don't have a damn point. Woods. That's Travolta. It's Grease. Yeah, it's Grease. It's from Grease. You're the one that I want. Travolta. Travolta and Olivia. All right, all right. Here we go. Oh, I got it. That's Rubio's. Ah, Mike, you got it, buddy. I'm not sure what was going on. We're trying to get real quick. That is funny. Really, I don't get Rubio's. Hold on here. That is freaking hysterical. $1.49 for Lego fish. All right, it's Chevy's. I know what it is. Groove is in the heart. There you go. Why was it $1.49? I don't know why there's commercials in the background of that.
Stupid delight. I don't know, Mike. It's a system. Here we go. Hope it's not like that on the rest of them. Fake better. What a wonderful world. Oh, git. She can't. She saw these. She's on fire. I'm sweet. What do you want from me? For you to not get one. Right. What's the score? The score is Mikey zero, Lauren five, Woods three. Hang on. Gosh darn it. I don't even have to. It's not even a question with me. Migs, guess what? Woods might do this for you, but it's going to take some work. Where's this five-pointer at? Come on. It's coming. It's coming. You know that. And M1 Jason, you made a wise choice with L.O.B. because she's probably going to win this thing. I'll probably get hosed, Jason. Yeah, she's a real sweet lady. Yeah, she's a real sweet lady. Here we go. I'm a girl. You used to be a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. Here we go. Goddamn it. Mikey, the B-52s. Darn it.
Here we go. Hurry up. Mikey. Kenny Loggins. Yep. It's my movie. What's he? All right, I need a score here, LLB. That's Mike 2, Lauren 5, Woods 3. This is where I make my move. Okay, here's a three-pointer for you. If life seems jolly. Go ahead, Woods. David Bowie. I'm out. I did the same thing as you, and it backfired. Here we go. We're going to continue. You rotten. There's something you forgot. And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, you stop these silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. Always look on the bright side of love. Let's just mouth something profane but funny. I actually think I know it but I can't do it. Always look on the bright side of love. Always look on the bright side of love. Is it always look on the bright side?
Yes. You should have gone. It's Eric Idle. It's from Life of Brian. Oh, it is Eric Idle. Oh, it is Eric Idle from Life of Brian. Jay, you're an old man. You would have been better off with Billy Idle. Darn it. I should have done it. Reset. Reset. How many points? This is going to be a five-pointer. Okay. Oh, my God. Here we go. Mikey. Top of the world. Wow. Down on creation. It's the only explanation. The Carpenters. Yep. Oh, weird. And that was it. Mikey wins! Mikey wins! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? He wins. He wins. You've got to be kidding me. He wins. Isn't that the worst? You get them all? Who's the listener? Yeah, exactly. You guys hate listeners. Michael Esparza. This may be the first one in over a year. Yeah. M1 meter reader? That's right. I mean, I don't know how it happened, but I came from, I mean.
I made up from a deficit. I made up from a deficit is what I was going to say. And what did he win? He won the pair of tickets to see Rise Against the Viejas Arena on April 15th. Hang on the line. He got the one stupid song that nobody knew. I can't believe I missed Eric Idle. I'm shocked. From Life of Brian. From Life of Brian. An obscure Monty Python movie. It is not obscure. It's very well known. You guys don't know the theme from La Boheme? Oh, God. I'm surprised. My ribs hurt. My ribs hurt. You guys are clowns. This is an Old Navy commercial. A huge hit. That will be ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. How do you guys not know that 1982 Old Navy commercial? It's all catalog. Oh, my God.
It's a damn Sears theme song, y'all. You guys are monsters. Well, back from the 70s. Oh, gosh. Old Navy. During that, my wound hurt, and it hurt bad. See, I'm convinced that there's something wrong with where my gallbladder went. Nice Bieber. Women deliver babies that complain less. You know what, you SOB? Jay said when one of his kids was born, Kim went home the same day. The day of. Not a complaint. Probably because he made her. He made her. Yeah. He didn't want to pay it yesterday. I ain't paying it. Jay, if there turns out to be something really wrong, will you say, Mackie, I apologize? Absolutely not. Oh. You had me. Because I think something's wrong in there.
It freaking hurt bad. I'm sure something's wrong. What's sick of it, Jay? You're sick of it, too. What did your doctor say? What did your doctor say? She said, there's nothing, no. I said, listen, is it possible that there's something broke in there, that there's something, no, you're fine. Did she look? Did she, like, get in there and look? She just, she said, no, there's nothing. Does she have any words of advice of stuff you should maybe do? I mean, is there anything like, here we go. Trouble now. Here we go. Yes. What did she say? Oh, what was it? Walk 30 minutes, two times a day. How's that going? So by now you've walked for like... Seven hours? Yeah. Eight hours? Did you walk here this morning? The face is priceless. It's priceless. Mike, have you not walked? No. Have you not been walking? I walked one day for about 10 minutes. That... Is not what the doctor said. God, what an animal. I feel like an animal when I say that. You have to get blood flowing there. Yeah. All right. Treadmill. Gym. Today. With your boy. Choose fitness. Make it right. I'm going to get on a treadmill. I'm going to. It's fun. Yeah, I will. I'm going to isolate that and use it against you. Yeah. Take that clip. Play it over and over again.
and say, Mike, did you do it? That sucks. You said you were going to do it. Listen, you know the dynamic of this radio program. You get called to the carpet for stuff real good. You can't just live your own life. No. And you can't say a thing you might do. No. But on this radio program, The Mikey Show, you can't live your own life. Three other people live your life with you. And for you. And for you. And if you don't do something, they will call you on the carpet and say, why don't you do this? It's called being taken to task. You know you don't actually have to go to a gym to walk. That is true. You don't have to get on a stair stepper to do stairs. These things are available to you in the great outdoors. He's so mean. In the world that we live in. This guy. It's fun, though. You get in there, you feel like you're doing something. You guys, I know that I need it. You need to. I know. It's your health. Like, listen, while I'm driving in my car, I go, everybody on the show is concerned about my weight and doesn't want to say anything. And I recognize, I know it. I know. Listen, I will. You know I will. I've got other issues that are, you know, at the top of my priority list. But I'll tell you what. This is a true story. Once you start feeling good about yourself.
Some of those other issues fall away. Oh, shut it. I'm telling you. Gosh, darn it. I'm telling you. You got to take care of you first. I love. How's it feel up there on that pedestal? I'm on no pedestal, but I'm saying. You know what it feels like to be in my position right now where you're just nothing's going good. Yes, I've been there. Somebody's like, hey, pal. You know what you need? You need to feel good about yourself first. You got to take care of you first, pal. Oh, boy. Before what? Before you take care of anything else. Your body is your temple. Yeah. Yeah. So just go for a walk? Is that what you're trying to do? Yes. Just go for a walk. I'm telling him to come to the gym and walk on the treadmill. And take care of myself. You just go outside. You need the vitamin D anyway. Yeah. You don't need a treadmill. But let's not, you know, dissuade him if he's interested in going to the gym. You guys just... I'm just trying to make it achievable. You have to have a membership to go to the gym. No. Friends work out free at cheese. Oh, that's true. You're going to walk in for free with your boy today. I need some freaking love. You go get your tennis shoes. I'll give you some love. Why don't you save that? Isolate that clip. We have a lot of those. You have plenty. You need some freaking love around this joint. You love yourself first before you get love. Oh, gosh. That's the deal. You know, as a human being, that's the last thing you want to hear when you feel low. That's exactly right.
He's going to love you. If people didn't care, they wouldn't tell you ways to help yourself. That's right. If Jay didn't care about you, he wouldn't berate you. That's right. Is that a fact I'm caring? Typical fat guy. Jay cares a lot. He wouldn't kick you in your suture when you're down. Fat boy. See? It's funny because he's fat. Are you motivated? Yeah, look at you. Listen to what Jay did when I got my gallbladder taken out. I haven't heard this. Oh, no. I haven't heard it. Oh, God. This is you. Smooth.
You know I ride a burrow to get home every day. I like that one. Mikey's been working on his appetite. Looking forward to eating till pigs can fly. Running forking that together makes the sparks at night. And the thought of losing weight is mighty unexciting. Oh, bladder's not right. Doctor's delight. Doctor's delight. Doctor. Doctor's Delight. You're S-ing me. No, I'm not. That's the name of it? Doctor's Delight. Doctor's Delight. Doctor's Delight. Spanish. Spanish. I started out this morning, not feeling so right. I thought if this could not be served, I wouldn't bite. Uh-oh. That was 18 words. That was 18 words. Uh-oh. Yeah, I got it right there. Gallbladder not right. The payoff's good, though. Doctor's Delight. Oh my gosh. Doctor's Delight. Take twos are okay. Doctor's Delight. So abrasive. Yes, I'll have a third sample of food from you. Of course, why wouldn't I? Oh my gosh. Ice chips. Who eats ice chips? You're in the hospital. This is you in the hospital. A little one-act play. We'll have a donut.
In the hospital. I forgot about this though. It's a little rough in the middle. Oh, he jams those words in there real quick. Sometimes you have to. Sometimes you got to write two sentences and put it in one. It makes me hurt. He's got a lot to say. I guess so. Doctor's delight. It makes me happy. I have terrible dating advice to give you, and I don't even care. I'm going to give it to you. Whether you want it or not, I'm shoving it down your throat when we come back. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. At Acura, we believe that a luxury automobile should be more than a status symbol. It should be a high-performance work of art.
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Which is a better kiss? Try it to sidetellthem at facebook.com slash chapstick. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. about San Diego State basketball. Well, they have a game tonight. They are the number 21 team in the country, the Aztecs are. They're playing Boise State in Boise State. Aztecs are 22-6 this year. They're gearing up for the Mountain West Tournament, which is March 8th through the 10th. And that, hopefully, going in, having a good showing there, will get them in the NCAA Tournament, which, Selection Sunday, is March 11th. The first round's going to take place March 13th and 14th, and the finals will be April 2nd.
Be filling out brackets before you know it. Absolutely. It's going to be awesome. It always is. It's always a fun time of year. Also, do you guys remember the Carrier Classic that they did last year where they had that awesome... On the Midway. Yeah, on the Midway. Well, they're moving it out of San Diego for 2012. Why? And the reason is there's not going to be a U.S. Navy ship available. So they're saying it's probably going to go to Connecticut for a year and then possibly back to San Diego. Last year they played and North Carolina beat Michigan State 67-55. President Obama just chilling, watching the game. Front row seats. It was a very, very big deal and a very cool deal for San Diego. There you go. Yeah, man. Mitt Romney won two states last night, Michigan and Arizona. Will probably end up being the nominee. Yeah. God help us. Let's see. I told you that I was going to give you this terrible dating advice no matter what, and that's a true story. It's a fact. There's some things that you could be doing. that you get from movies, guys, that you think is really cool, and it ain't working. For instance, I'm going to give you the movie, and then I'm going to tell you what they did. In Greece, good girl falls in love with a bad boy to win each other over. Girl sheds her squeaky clean image. Guy cleans up his bad boy act. It's romantic because opposites attract. The reason that it doesn't work is because you've got to be yourself. Right.
Okay? So that's why it ain't going to work if you do that. How about say anything? Oh, the boombox. I wanted that for years. Yeah, you do that, and you're going to be a creep. You're a stalker. You're a stalker. These days. Yeah, you're loud. And you're a loser. And you're a loser. And you're in a trench coat, which means the FBI wants to see. Yeah. Yeah, they want a taste. Yeah, exactly. You know, watching that movie still to this day, when he does it, still gets me every time I see it. And if you did it now, they'd be like, You get the cops called on to you. Clueless. The movie Clueless. You've seen it. Every dude has seen it. Every girl has seen it. It's a great movie. Well, here's the deal. If you find a first date, if you find a date, period, from your own family tree, it's freaking wrong. Yeah. You're Morgan Freeman. C. Morgan Freeman. Yeah. If you didn't hear, we just announced it. Morgan Freeman's dating his step-granddaughter. About to marry her. About to marry her. A Woody Allen. So gross. Sleepless in Seattle. Flying across the country by yourself. Creep. Yeah. To meet a total stranger. I took a bus ride one time for about a two-hour bus ride to see a lady that I had met, a girl that I had met one time. And I felt like the most desperate, creepy loser in the world. Two-hour bus ride. I got on a bus to Rockford, Illinois. I left a city of eight million people, Chicago.
To go try to close business in Rockford. All right? Mortified. It just means that you... No, it means I was on a dry spell and I needed to go to Rockford. And I went to Rockford on a bus. Had to work out. Very well. It's worth it. It was. I think guys will go to great extremes. Girls, you don't have to, LLB. You don't have to go to great extremes. No, you just make the phone call. We go to like stalker-ish extremes. Right. Yes, girls will do the stalker bit. After, though. Yes. Yeah. After. There's some stuff, that was me. There's some stuff. Right. There's some stuff that only happens in movies, by the way. Yes. Like, you know, the cutesy little, that's one thing, like the stuff we were just talking about. Yep. But there's also stuff that only happens in movies like car chases that you see down the streets of San Francisco. Not one. has ever taken place like that. Not one. In the history of the city of San Francisco, there has never been a cop chase where the guy is flying off in the air in some street and the cop car comes flying off following him. It's never once happened. Well, you know what happens is that the guy would, he'd hit the jump and then all four tires would blow out. His ass would snap in half and it'd be done. He'd get one jump in.
Yeah, and a cop wouldn't chase him because he wouldn't want to kill people. Exactly. Because people would get killed. Another one. The car or the cop driving either against the wrong way of traffic or on a sidewalk with multiple pedestrians and people walking around. They dive or jump out of the way. They dive or jump out of the way. No one ever gets hurt, though. No, no, never. Well, they skin their knee when they dive out of the way. That's it. Oh, I freaking love these. Call with these. I did, too. I love them, too. I bought a full fist bite. Somebody gets punched in the nose and he just wipes the blood off. He doesn't have to go, hold on, hold on, hold on. Pitching my nose here. Do you know that when you punch somebody in the face, it doesn't sound like this? No, it doesn't. It sounds like a thud. What do they use, I wonder? I don't know. It's like the cracking of a belt or something. Yeah. Doesn't sound like that. 5701949 with, I don't know what we call this. Stuff that only happens in the movies. Only in the movies. The stalker girl that is cute in the movies, they're like, Jane, is that you? And she's slumped down in her seat and she pops up and waves. How about the girl in the movie that's such a nerd? She's so nerdy. She's so nerdy. Hairs in a bun always. Right. She does the makeover bit. They play the funny music and she comes out and you're like, the ugly duckling. And then you're like, oh my.
Yeah, like there's no way you could have known behind those pair of lenses that she was actually hot. Very hot. I've never looked at you this way before. A baseball has never hit anybody in a movie and it's done serious damage like it would in real life. Right. Oh, yeah. What would happen in real life if a baseball hit you in the face is that you'd be at Scripps. In the emergency room, and you'd be getting stitches, and they'd be trying to piece back together your orbital bone. In the movies, though. They wouldn't cut to you at somebody's house with an ice bag. Yes. One little black eye. Yeah. It's genius. And that is exactly what happens in a movie. How about the adult time? Adult time. In the shower. Always. Always. And it's so... That happens in real life. Yeah, it's happened. But it's so passionate in the movies. And in real life, we've all done it. Everyone in this room, we're all adults. We've all done the shower bit. Right. It's not the same. One person's freezing cold because the other person's got the hot water on them. And the other person's out of the hot water and they're like... They get goosebumps. And it's just not... There's not a lot of room in there. You just got to make it work and tilt things.
Say again? You can make it work. It doesn't have to be, you know, there's a tilting shower head and stuff. You don't always have to be one cold and the other one's not. Yeah, but Lauren, how would you tilt it to where two people are getting the shower? Sufficient coverage. One person gets half, the other person gets the other half. Yeah. Shower's not a good idea. Hot tub's also a bit. It's good. Hot tub is definitely no good. Hot tub's no good. No good. Hot tub's actually bad for you. Yeah. And boy, in the movies, though. Boy, that shower bit's a big player. So was the hot tub in the pool bit. Yes. They haven't ripped the soap dish off the wall before. What? You know, the thing in the wall that has a handle on it? Oh, I know what a soap dish. Familiar with soap dish. Just ripped it right out of the wall. Jay, sometimes it's okay to not talk. You can talk. You can talk or not talk. I'm just telling you what happened. We were going on to like different scenarios. You have kids that have friends in this town. And you have a wife that might enjoy privacy. You know, you have a wife that wants to walk into a Henry's one time. Yeah. She wants to walk into Henry's one time where somebody doesn't go, that's Jay's wife.
Oh, that's Mrs. Police Dog. That's Mrs. Police Dog. That's Mrs. Soapdish. Yeah, Mrs. Soapdish. Hey, Soapdish. We got a special asparagus over here. Why are you calling me that? Well, because your husband, Jacef R. Isbell, went on the radio station and said he's ripped the soapdish off. And what kind of creep does that? It's an accident. Going for leverage. Yeah. Oh, sorry. For leverage. Leverage. He's holding it forever. How high up is your soap dish? It's not, no. It's his heel that's so high. But he needs to balance himself with his soap dish. So disgusting. Creep. All in the angle. You've shared more than you've not shared. Yes. And that's just not right. I want to see the kit. That he keeps under his bed. I don't. That has a combination lock on it. I'll bring it in. I want to see it. I do not. L.O.B. just hit on something. We know more than we don't know. Yes. There's not much left. That's not true. If that's not true, then that's creepy. It is. There's a lot more. The whole thing. What are the chances that at home, Jay has a black leather mask with a zipper for a mouth? Oh, guaranteed. 85%. 97%.
It's in the kit, though. I'm telling you. You know those Samsonite... You know those silver Samsonite briefcases? Yeah. That only bank robbers have? Yes. He's got one, and it's under his bed, and it has a combo lock on it. Yeah. It's more of a trunk. It's a trunk full of stuff. That's hideous and true. And true. You can also get in the trunk. What do you mean you get in the trunk? You can. It's so big you could get in it? It's a big trunk. Oh, it's a big trunk. And one Dirty Dan from Bonita. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. You have a friend that did that. Yeah, I was actually house-sitting for my aunt. The next morning, my friend had to tell me we need to replace the soap dish. Oh, boy. See, it's common. How do you tell your aunt that? Jay was the one, like, house-sitting with your aunt. Yeah. How did you tell your aunt? We tried to fix it as best as possible. I think one of my cousins actually noticed there was something different in the bathroom.
Thank you for the call. Well, sometimes you have embarrassing moments. That's an embarrassing moment when you have to explain to the aunt why the soap dish is broke. I, because of being overweight, I believe it or not, been even heavier than I am now. I don't believe it. How's that possible? You were taller then? Letting him get him on. Just get him out. Yeah, you get him out. You let him roll for a minute. You're taller, therefore you weighed more. Yeah, had to be. Your hair. You wore heavy boots. You had really long hair. Timbalands. You had gold in your pockets. You wore weights on your wrists and ankles to work out. Jogging weights. Why did that make you start to laugh? You wore a heavyweight belt because you were a champion, a wrestling champion. Broke a chair. I've done it. I did it at your house. You did? I did it at your house. That's right. That's right. Did it. Breaking a chair. There's nothing worse. Nope.
Was it right when you sat in it or were you sitting in it for a while? I need details. It was when I sat down on it. I sat down with a lot of force. Was it wood? No, it was steel. It was a steel chair. The legs just bent. No, I was at Chipotle and it was an aluminum chair. No, I'm just kidding. No, it was a person's house. It was my program director. He had me over for dinner. So that was before dinner started? Yeah. There wasn't a lot of people. He was just inviting me over. He had just hired this new guy and wanted to have him over. You broke his chair. He broke a chair because I was so fat. Did it make you self-conscious about how much you were going to eat at dinner after you broke the chair? Were you like, I don't want them to be watching me? Yes. It did. Are you happy? Yeah. Are you satisfied with your answer? It was like a Snickers bed. Did they get you another chair? Did they get you like an aluminum one from the... Did you make a noise? No, Lauren. They didn't go get me an aluminum chair from the garage. Can you just... I want the whole thing. I need the whole thing for me. I came in. I was already uncomfortable because I didn't want to go to dinner over there.
And I came into the house and there was like dogs running around at my feet. And so we went into the kitchen and they had, you know, the placemats set up. And he said, you know, just have a seat. And I did. I went to have a seat and I instantly heard and he heard crack. Oh, that laugh she has. is so piercing to my ego. It's a dagger. It's a dagger to the ego. Keep going. And your ego just bleeds out. Keep going. And so it cracked. Did you make a noise? Did you go, oh! Yes. That noise that Lauren made had pity in it.
Which made it worse. Did you make an oh with your face and put one hand up to your mouth when you went oh? Like Macaulay Culkin and Home Alone? It happened to another overweight friend of mine. And it happened a couple of times. And the second time that it happened, the first time it happened, he had a good sense of humor about it. The second time that it happened, he left. Oh, no. He was mad, and we felt bad. Same place, different place. All in one night? Because it was an instant reaction, like a reflex that everyone laughed when it happened. Yes, of course. It was like a reflex. Like, no one wanted a laugh. It just laughed. It was like a movie. I know the feeling. Because he ended up on the floor. It actually collapsed. It actually collapsed to the floor. Oh, no. And he left. Did it happen in the same night, same place? No. The first time that it happened was in another city. And the next time that it happened was, it was, you know, an old chair. And it was made of wood. And he sat in it. And it broke so severely that he went to the floor. And we laughed. Everyone laughed. Did he get up? And he got up. Stormed out. And that one he stormed out. He mad cried in his car. Oh. There's no question. A thousand percent. Those jerks.
Let's see. M1, Jimmy from OB. Hey, what's going on, Mike? Not too much, man. So I got a story about when I was over at my friend's house for Christmas with my wife. And they had, they're like super traditional Catholic Mexican family. Right. Yeah. And so I went there and they have their big old table, but they ran out of chairs. They just had those plastic lawn chairs. They had those white ones. Oh, wow. Yeah. I know which ones you're talking about. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, this isn't going to work. But whatever, I'm dealing with it. Kind of with the hinge? No, no, no. They're all one piece of plastic. One piece. Yeah, one piece of plastic. The back is like a fan. Yeah, it looks like a fan. So I'm sitting down in the middle of Christmas dinner. Oh, my goodness. And, I mean, this is during prayer, like when they're praying for him. Oh, no. Dear Lord. The back two legs break, and I flip over backwards.
My plate goes all over. Oh, no. Your plate of food? Oh, no. The food goes flying? I had an instinct, and I mean, yeah, I just knocked over everything. You knocked things over on the table. Oh, no. He did the lean back, and then, oh, the reach for the table. All right. Exactly. What happened next? Well, my friend's brother... out of nowhere just gets up and helps me up and everyone's like, oh, are you okay? And my friend just over there laughing at me as hard as he can. Oh, yeah. That's what's supposed to happen. Oh, yeah. What did you do? That was the most, I don't, what can you do? Did you apologize? Yeah, of course. You apologize. Yeah, you have to, which is the worst, apologizing for breaking a chair because you're fat? Were you of normal weight or overweight? No, Lauren. Yeah. He's underweight. What do you think? I broke one of those chairs before. How big a boy are you?
Me? How big a fella? I'm like 5'8", 175. This is normal weight. Oh, yeah, you're normal. Oh, you're 5'8". It's more funny when someone of normal weight does it, and it makes you less go, hmm. Right. And you're just like, oh, you're a clutz. If you're of normal weight, there's nothing wrong. Right. There's nothing unfunny about it. If you're overweight like me, and you break a chair... You get to laugh about it later. You don't get to laugh in the overweight guy's face. Well, here's the tough part. You don't want to have a conversation about the replacement or repair. Do I need to check out my checkbook? How much do I owe you? How much do I owe you? How much do I owe you for the chair? For the humiliation that I just experienced. It's cool, man. You know what? We didn't like that chair anyway. Oh, that chair's old. And then they do the pity bit. He did say that. Of course he did. He said that chair's old. Yeah. We had someone break a chair at my parents' house before, and my dad did the whole bit. Then there was always one chair that didn't match the rest of the table because we had to replace it with one that was not. Because Fatty McFatty. Gosh. I think people were actually roughhousing like Woods and Jay were doing at your house when they broke your nice dining room chair. He was leaning back in the chair, and then he pulled me, which is always a good one. Woods was leaning back in a chair. When you look at this chair, you go, that's not a leaner. That's not a leaner.
That's not a leaner. This is a big leaner. I'm a kid who loves to lean. I'm a leaner. But this particular chair, you look at it and you go, there is no way that chair is meant to be lean. It's not meant for a gangster lean. And I was throwing a gangster lean on it. And it went crack. And Jay grabbed it. Grabbed me. I was trying to protect you. Were you? So my wife, Rebecca, had to break out tools. Yeah, she had to fix it. And she fixed it. Did you guys ever have the kid in, like, middle school that leaned back in the chair? And fell over. In the middle of a leg. A hundred times. I told you guys about Desk. Oh, God. The worst. The worst. But funny. Retell it. It's not funny. Desk. It is one of my fiancé Matt Commerce's favorite moments of our entire show. There was a girl in my high school, and she was overweight. And she couldn't sit in the... Fat boy. She was a girl. She couldn't sit in the chair, so they had to put a desk in every classroom. And she had to sit behind the desk. Couldn't fit. And obviously her nickname was Desk. For the record, I'm not even smiling. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. You're holding your side laughing. No, I'm not. How could you not? Lauren... Gosh, darn. The vein comes out. I didn't get to laugh the first time he told me. Desk will get you real good.
Or Tess. My goodness. Tess. Oh, man. What? Mickey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mickey now. 570-1949. More of the Mickey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The Chevy Volt was one of the most awarded cars in 2011. The Volt does something other electric cars only dream of. It keeps going for a long, long time after its full charge runs out by switching to gas. And guess what? Now it gets even better. All you very well-qualified lessees out there, you can get a low-mileage sign-and-drive lease on a 2012 Chevrolet Volt for around $369 a month for 36 months with zero due at signing. Just sign, get your keys, and go on your merry way. Doesn't get much better than that.
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You save. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. Well, traffic's really backing up here on the 15 northbound Friars Road to the 8 East. It's in the 30s right now. Also a stalled vehicle on the 805 southbound at Federal Boulevard. And then you've got some slowing as you travel towards El Cajon. It's very slow here on the 54 northbound at the 8 Connector, 11 miles an hour. This report brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Enjoy amazing nighttime experiences with extended park hours during spring into night. There's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld Fun Card. Pay for a day. Play all year. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report being brought to you by Eyelids Restaurants on this Wednesday morning. Today, the surf looking a little bit small out there. That windswelf, groundswell mix that we saw yesterday that was pretty healthy and really tapered off. Winds have turned the east, so it's cleaned up quite a bit. But at the same time, again, size has dwindled.
Looking at waves generally that need a waist-high zone, chest-high, possible pluses later as a new west-or-westra is expected to slowly filter in. Mornings start off pretty clean, though. Clear skies. Looks like it'll be warming up a little bit today as well. Just generally small surf across the board. Bring a longer board and hit the beach breaks because that's about all you're going to find rideable. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair needs, go check out Joe Ropers down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm an odd guy. Woods. Put a donut on the back of the toilet, I'll eat it. Lauren. No, nice is in now. Nice is the new black. And Jay. All right, now don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. On FM 94.9. Did I forget to ask you about SDSU basketball? No, you did. I did. Yeah, 7 o'clock. Did I forget to play this again today? Because it needs to be played every day. Strike to claim it. A strike to claim it. And... That's history. That's right. What you just heard was a professional bowler getting a strike. Pete Weber. Pete Weber. Now, apparently Pete Weber is a very well-known bowler.
In the bowling community. Probably the only well-known bowler. The only known. Well, the people that are into it. Name a jockey. Alex, what's his name? Gosh, you just heard me. I thought you were going to say Willie Shoemaker because that's the only one I've ever heard of. I can actually name a bunch. Victor Hugo. Yeah. Oh, no. I can name a whole bunch of them. Can you? Yeah, Alex Solis. Ah. I guess my point doesn't really work. Yeah, here, well, here, yeah, because people go to Del Mar. But, like, if you say, who's the most famous jockey in the world? People usually say Willie Schumacher. Yes, that is. With bowling, this guy, Pete Webber, is the A-Rod of bowling. He actually said, who do you think you are? I am. I mean, that's how excited he was. Strike to claim it. A strike to claim it. And. I saw on M1site.com that somebody had already done a graphic. I love it. Of who do you think you are, I am. Wood said a great t-shirt would be, I mean, it sounds like a middle finger. Yeah. Oh, it is. And then saying, who do you think you are, I am. Yeah, it's like a blue, I picture a blue t-shirt with a white middle finger right in the center. Right. And above it, in like swooping letters, it says, who do you think you are? Right. And below the finger, it says,
I am. I am. Wow. I pictured something way different. What do you picture, L-O-B? Close to the one that was on moneside.com. It's like the shadow of somebody. It's the shadow of a guy. Sort of the guy doing his two. He almost looks like the Notre Dame leprechaun. Put up your dupes. Yeah. Just enjoying himself to a point that is almost incomprehensible. And also saying to the world. And by the world, I mean every human that he's ever known. Take that. Strike to claim it. A strike to claim it. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Jay said that he had on a pair of sunglasses. He wears sunglasses. Like the Oakleys. He wears Oakleys when he bowls. I watched that video like 17 times last night. And I'm not a re-watcher. It's addictive. It's addictive. Great. It's genius. It's the most. It is, yes. It's the best thing he ever uttered. You want to know what? I actually thought to myself.
There's two great parts about it. One is the moment that L.O.B. recognized that's him. That what I'm hearing is the actual bowler saying, who do you think you are? I am. Yeah. Which has never been uttered. No, no, never. He made it up on the spot and and he really meant it. He meant he was standing to the side. OK, observing himself. And thinking to himself, dude, who do you think you are doing that? How are you capable? Who do you think you are? And then he answered the question. I'll tell you who. I am. I am. Anything that someone could rhetorically answer in their head to who do you think you are, he was going to cut them off and say, I am. I am. I am. I am. Just a guy. I am. Not you. Just a guy. We got a...
An email. We got an email from a guy that said that he was babysitting. And he was babysitting the neighbor's kid. Or no. He had his kid babysat. And the person that was watching his kid had the flu. Oh. And now his kid is sick. And he says, we didn't pay them to watch our kids. But it doesn't matter. Not even a heads up, huh? M1 Mark. You send your kid over to get babysat by a friend of yours, and he says, we didn't pay them to watch our kids, but it doesn't matter. So you send your kid over there. You're not paying. It's a free service. Happy birthday. You're going out to dinner. Take the wife out to dinner. Kids, over there. But one thing they didn't tell you, oh, yeah, my kid's got the flu. Now your kid gets the flu. Yeah. What do you think of that? It's monstrous.
Some people say it's monsters. Some people say it's life. You should let, if you knew, it's one thing if the kid didn't have, like they didn't know. Symptoms weren't there yet. If you knew, you got to give the heads up. You have to. Little kids' immune systems, there's these tiny little, they pass everything back and forth to each other. I would err on the side of, I got to tell them. Yeah, I've been coming down with something. I'm not feeling great. I don't know if tonight's the best night for me to watch your kid. Yeah, I want to get them sick. The key point is, though, if they knew. If they knew and didn't say, they're monsters. If they knew. If it just happened, then whatever. That's, you know, c'est la vie. Yeah. This is some breaking news that we'll have in just a second. It's not necessarily breaking news, but Lindsay Lohan's really been making a push to come back. She's kind of cleaning her life up. And Matt Lauer had an exclusive with her. We're going to play you excerpts of it because it's airing today. But it's pretty cool. You know, she's been kind of out of the spotlight. But now she's coming back. She's cleaned up. And, you know, she's making a push. She's real cleaned up in that Playboy spread. Very clean. Very clean. Look good. Foxy. I wouldn't be able to comment either way. Me, me either. Jay and I. Jay and I could comment on it. But I don't know what he's doing. He's probably reading Facebook.
It looks like he is. Looks like, in fact, Jay is reading Facebook. He's smiling, nodding. I was waiting for a backup. And he's going to say that it is because he's doing something. I have the ball, and I was running towards the goal line. And there's a couple defenders in front of me, and I needed my guy to come in and throw a block for me. And then he left me there, and I got my neck broken. Here we go. Here we go. ...her troubles, most of them self-inflicted. This week, she will try to mount a comeback when she hosts Saturday Night Live. That's right. We sat down with her for an exclusive interview on Tuesday that you're going to see in its entirety tomorrow. I began by asking her the question on everyone's mind. Simplest, blunt question. You clean and sober? Yes, I'm good, and I'm clean and sober. How long has that been? It's been a while. It's been a long time. She's got... Platinum blonde hair and bangs. She looks like a real housewife of an orange cat. She has so much plastic surgery on her face. Yep. Oh, my gosh. That's so sad. It's nice to feel that I also have a lot of great people in my life that are in the same position. So I can always turn to them. And I've had great people that I can talk to at any time and that have helped me.
kind of figure myself out. Can you go to the nightlife? Can you go to parties? Can you go to clubs without suffering the temptation that's going to get you into trouble? I don't... I mean, I could, but I don't... That's not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend, and I was so uncomfortable. Not because I... What is she going to sound like at 42? I was just thinking that. I can't imagine. She's only 20. She's going to sound like Abe Vigoda. She's really got a husky voice. I'm tempted just because it was just the same thing that it always was before, and it just wasn't fun for me. I've become more of a homebody, and I like that. I also thought about you not long ago when Whitney Houston passed away. Oh, wow, Matt. Oh, holy cow. Really, Matt? Is that right? You did? Did you? You thought of me? Oh, wow. Okay. All right. With so much talent. She just, her eyes just darted like, what the hell did he just say? Raw talent and who went through such a tough time. And obviously the end came way too soon. When you heard the news of her death, did any of it register on a personal level with you? I don't, not really. I wouldn't like to, I don't want to go there. That's kind of a scary, morbid thing to discuss.
But, I mean, maybe to some extent when I went to jail and being in that place, that was really terrifying for me. Maybe the hardest question that anyone has ever asked somebody. Quite possibly. When Whitney Houston died, did it register to you on a personal level? Because I thought of you immediately. I thought of you. Wow. Oh, my God. Also, I mean, you know, in terms of substance abuse, it can rob talent. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Yeah. And you can just kind of completely fall into that world. And that's a really scary thing. And I've I've experienced things like that. And I have friends that have experienced things like that. And I it's a really sad factor that can come into play in people's lives sometimes if you don't recognize it. And a lot of people don't like to, and I think I did that for a long time. I think I was scared and didn't want to, you know, admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. America loves a comeback story, so if she can work it out, we'll love it. I would not have recognized her. Yeah. If that weren't, if her name wasn't underneath her face. Looks like a wig. It does look like a wig. She's got to ace those bangs, man. Forget it. Are bangs, L-O-B, are bangs, is that a thing now? Yeah, they're always coming in and out.
Bangs will make a comeback, then go away. Really? I like them on some girls. They don't look that great on her. I don't like it on that chick from the golden tattoo or the dragon tattoo lady. Rooney Mara. Rooney Mara. I don't like that, man. Dude, that looks... I liked it. You did? Yeah, I thought they were cute. I saw some horrible pictures of her, though, where she's like, like a horse. Oh, my gosh. If you can't find it, just mouth it. If you can't find it, what? Mouth it. What do you mean? Oh, you mean. What he just did. Yes. And what he did all day yesterday. Yeah. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. Yeah. If you can't find it, you just say it. You just say it. Yeah. You just say the. Oh, yeah, girl. Oh, yeah, girl. There you go. Or sometimes say it and play it. Right. Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, yeah. Listen to David Lee Roth. Kid Rock performed for Mitt Romney. His name is Mitt. Stupid. Your name is Mitt. Ouch. Dude, ow. Your name is Mitt. It's more like it. Isn't he from Michigan? Yes. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh.
That seems like an odd pairing. It seems an extremely odd pairing. I don't know why he's so in. He's so in on Mitt Romney. He's all the way in. Why? Kid Rock. I know he's conservative. Well, he's from Michigan also, and that's where Mitt was born, so maybe that's his bit. He's also a big Bob Seger fan, so there you go. There's nothing wrong with that. No, absolutely not. Us right-wingers believe in our gun rights, and it's that kind of deal, and I know that's him to a T. He is as flamboyant as it gets. Let's see. This is M1 Charlie from San Diego. Are you there, Charlie? Yeah, I'm here. You are calling about when we were talking about this thing with the kid that had the flu. Yeah, a similar thing happened to me a couple years ago, actually. When the M1H1 came around, this kid, I let him babysit my kid. He shows up. He doesn't seem too bad. And then as he's leaving, he's hacking and coughing. And within the day...
My kid ends up getting sick. I mean, how irresponsible is this? Especially with the H1N1 craze when that thing was going on. Well, not craze. It's not like people are loving it. It was like the hula hoop. Yeah, it was like the Beatles. It was a serious thing, man. My kid almost died. Holy cow. Yeah, it was definitely not a thing that I would want anyone else to go through. I would be furious. Oh, I thought about suing the guy. Oh, wow. The little kid? You thought about suing the dad, your friend? Yeah, well, I mean, if you're going to be so irresponsible and put my kid's life in danger, why shouldn't I put your financial life in danger, right? Did you sue him? I thought about it. My wife talked me down. She was like, you know, you've known him for a while and, you know, things happen. Kid was going to get sick at some point. But, you know, with the N1H1, it was, you know, it was a major, major thing. I think it was H1N1. Wasn't it? Yeah. H1N1. N1H1. N1H1. N1H1. Whatever it was. Potato, potato. I'll tell you this. It would have freaked me out. Yeah. I wouldn't have sued. No.
I wouldn't have sued. But you think about it, I guess. You have words? Cooler had prevailed. I didn't sue him. I mean, but I haven't had his kid. I didn't have his kid come back and babysit for me, that's for sure. That's true. Yeah, I wouldn't either. Thanks for the call. Yeah, that freaked me out. And it would hurt me. Yeah. You'd be really scared. Be like, how could you put me in that kind of danger? Yeah. Your kid got H1N1 and you're having my kid. Over to the house and you didn't tell me? What if you take your kids to daycare and a parent drops his kid off knowing his kid's sick? That is what people do all the time. Yeah, I mean, you can't sue them. Can you? No. No. No. There you can't because I think you gotta sign something. You should probably sign a waiver. Yeah. Gosh. Well, and yes, kids get sick. As I've gotten, you know, when we got to twins, I got more relaxed. Yeah. When it was just Jake, man, I really freaked out. I was always like, you know, is your kid sick? Is your kid sick now? It's like, yeah, you know what, man? Let him eat dirt. Kind of. Yeah. You know, because they get sick. They're going to get sick. They're going to fall down. Yeah, it's one thing to just, it happens. And then there's another thing to knowingly put somebody in that danger. Can you imagine getting that document that you're being sued for that? I can't. That would freak you out. Yeah. People like to sue.
It's very, very... People are litigious. That would make me angry, though. I wouldn't be scared of it. I'd be like, no way. This is not... You're not suing me. This is not going to hold up. How could you prove that the kid knew that he was sick? Our phone number here is 570-1949 if you want to call us. The gas-stealing bit, it's back. Happens down my street already. Has, Jay? Neighbors down the street get their cars. Gas sucked out. Tell me, man. It's going to start up again because gas prices are so high. Who's gas siphon guy? Who's that guy? Oh, my God. Poor guy. Poor guy. Poor guy. Desperate times. Poor guy has to drive guy. Doesn't have money. He doesn't have money. He's siphon gas guy. He sucks gas through a tube. That guy may not be a criminal at any other time. And now he is. Yeah. And the reason is because it's like toilet paper. What else will you do? Right. I mean, now.
By no means am I condoning it. No. It's wrong. But, I mean, it's a very drastic move. Listen to this, though. How about these guys? Tampa Bay, Florida. They cut a hole in the floor of a Chrysler van and they tapped into a 5,000-gallon storage tank underground. The crew parked directly over the well and siphoned 450... gallons of gasoline hold on i'm writing this down that's like a job that they would pull in the movie heat yeah like it's very uh intricate oh dude the guy that uh the the lieutenant from hillsborough county he said it was like a james bond movie here look you guys it's a photo of it of the van with that's been retrofitted
where they cut a hole in the bottom of the van and siphoned out 450 gallons of underwater gasoline, or underground gasoline. Looks like kegs in there. Yeah. Kegs of gasoline. So I guess they were caught then, if they got a picture of the van? Yeah. Yeah, they were. Jeez. Now, here's my question. You got 450 gallons of gas. My guess is that you intend to distribute it, right? Yeah. It's possession and intent to distribute. Right, because you're not keeping it for your own use. It's 450 gallons. You're not keeping it for yourself. But I've got like a 15-gallon tank. Yeah, 450. Keep me good for the year. Yeah, keep me good for a while. Gas goes bad after a certain time. Oh, it does? Yeah, nobody's keeping 450 for themselves. They were going to go out and sell it for even... Two bucks a gallon. Yeah, dude. Done. Right? If they sold it in the neighborhood for two bucks a gallon. Yeah. True. I was watching Doomsday Preppers. Weird. And there's a family in Pasadena that makes their own gasoline. Yep. They make their own diesel. I know how people make diesel. Wow. You know how they did it? Mm-hmm. They do it with a big, gigantic water heater. You know, like the water heater that heats your house? Yep. They go to this restaurant. They have a deal with a restaurant because they grow all their own veggies.
They take all these veggies to this restaurant. The restaurant gives them all of their old used up frying oil. They take it home. They dump it into this big contraption, which distills it in this gigantic water heater. And after all this big processing that they do, it comes out the other end and drips out as diesel. And they pump it into their old 1972 Mercedes diesel that is... The most dilapidated car you've ever seen. And it runs on diesel and they make their own gas. Sounds like french fries. It does? When you run the car? Yeah, and it's messy. It's a messy operation for sure. To make it? Yeah, to make it. Very greasy. Man, you gotta, listen man, you gotta want to make gas to retrofit a hot water heater. You got to want to make your gas real bad. Think about all the experimentation you got to do to get it right. Yes. Where it'll actually run, too. You know, you're like, oh, crap. Back to the drawing board again. This guy was telling me he could make it for five cents a gallon. Wow. Well, that's worth it. You know what, Jay? I think that was the exact amount that they said that, you know, when all was said and done. Yeah, it was crazy. That is well worth it. Would you? Yeah, if I was, like, with someone smart enough to do it.
Absolutely. I'll just pay the $4.50. I agree. I don't need any more headaches. I blow myself up. You know how Sacha Baron Cohen did the deal on the red carpet where he spilled the ashes all over Seacrest? Oh, yeah. What they were really worried about was he was going to go into the theater and do some shenanigans inside the theater. So they went to his dressing room to talk to him. And he came out of character. And his quote was, I've done this. And now I'm going to the Oscars. Wow. And they said to him, thank you. And they left. Yep. They just wanted to make sure, hey, you're going to keep doing this. You did your bit. I can't believe they let him in. Me either. I know. I would think that that is a one-way ticket out of the Oscars. He's the best thing that happened to the Oscars. That's a true statement. Maybe you're right. Yeah. Maybe that's the truth. They should say thank you. Yeah, that's true. With tweeting and stuff, people probably were like, oh. Yeah, because it happened before the Oscars. People probably tuned in. Yeah. Apple stock is at $545 a share. Our economy is coming back, and it's coming back in a big way. You spend an average of 44 minutes a week thinking about this. It isn't.
Sex, and I'll tell you what it is next. Is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection. This is Toyota Today. Legendary quality. unsurpassed reliability and superior value. Now get zero APR on a new 2011 Prius with its 50 MPG. Get zero APR on a luxurious Avalon, versatile Highlander, or sporty RAV4. There's even zero APR on a tough 2012 Tundra or a stylish 2012 Corolla. So see your San Diego County Toyota dealer and save thousands with 0% financing on many of Toyota's best-selling models.
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See store for details or visit albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find these savings and more at Albertsons. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's Ovation Cell Therapy. You know how I know? How's that? Because I use it too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great. Thank you.
Have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You too can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select FM949 at checkout, and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com, and remember, FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Is this M1 Night Scream? Yep, it is. How are you? I'm doing great. Tell everybody about your experience with AIS. Well, I bought a new car a couple months ago. Well, new used car, 2010. And my insurance went through the roof from like $411 every six months to like over $1,000. I didn't know why. I called. They couldn't tell me. I have an excellent driving record. No accidents. No tickets. And so I immediately called AIS because I actually found my previous insurance through them. And they saved me money then. So I'm like, they'll save me money again. That was it. And they did. They filed me a policy for $522 every six months. So I'm now saving $518 every six months and over $1,000 a year. That is awesome. If you would like to be just like Nightscreen, give AIS a call. 1-800-777-4AIS.
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usually slow this time of morning. Harbor Drive to the E Street area at 17 miles an hour. This report, it's also brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Enjoy amazing nighttime experiences with extended park hours during spring into night. There's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld fun card. Pay for a day. You could play all year. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. This is The Mikey Show. All right. Let's start with Mikey. I don't trust anybody who has a P.O. box. Woods. It's against my will. Lauren. Pretty much every morning I think that somebody's going to jump out and kill me when I get into my car. And Jay. You know you're in trouble if you can't outrun your grandma. Yeah. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is my recital. I think it's very vital to rock around. That's right. On top. It's tricky. It's tricky. Here we go. It's tricky.
What's going on with Kobe Bryant? Well, they've updated his status to day-to-day. He now has a concussion in addition to that broken nose that he suffered in the All-Star game. Dwayne Wade. Fouled him hard. Broke his nose. Oh, wow. He called him and apologized. My bad. Should have got out of hand. It was an all-star game. And now he's got a concussion. So he's day-to-day. And we'll let you know how Kobe is feeling tomorrow. Also, the San Francisco 49ers have re-signed one of their key players. Linebacker Ahmaud Brooks has a six-year extension with the Niners. Which, yeah, he is a beast, man. 50 tackles, seven sacks, and a forced fumble last year. You know what I just saw as a headline on ESPN? What's that? That Drew Brees and the Saints are way far apart. No way. On a new deal. That they are way far apart. Guys got the hardware to say, remember this little guy, this ring? Their deal is with him. Yeah, how old are you? Yeah. So they both have each other. Man, that's tricky. He's like, hey, I'm Drew Brees. Yeah, I won the Super Bowl. I won the Super Bowl.
Still good. Hey, do you remember last year, Owner, when I broke that record for Dan Marino? Do you remember that? When I broke that passing record that stood for like 30 or 20, 30 years? Remember that? Do you remember that when I broke that? Because I was thinking maybe he'd pay me for that. Hey, do you remember that time when I won that Super Bowl and then I was on the cover of SI with my little kid? Yeah. Do you remember that? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. So... Hey, Drew, do you remember your last birthday? Yes. I'm surprised because you're so old now that, you know, but we'd still like to retain you. We still want to keep you here. Well, you know, I'd like to be here. Hey, do you remember when that big hurricane came through here? Katrina. Yeah. And then, like, the city kind of went to pot and then, like, I really helped, like, get the morale and stuff all up again. Did I win that Super Bowl? Yeah, and now... You and Harry Connick Jr. Yeah, me and Harry Connick Jr. Well, and now the city is vibrant and back. together and it's so vibrant that we'll celebrate your 35th birthday, I guess, when you turn 35 here in a couple of months. So, you know, we'll do that as a group. We'll probably just do one big candle since 35 candles is just ridiculous. Yeah, it's dumb. Do you remember when I had that thing on my face and I got half of it cut off? I'm working on getting that removed. So, it's the only thing I can remember. Doesn't really help your case, buddy. Well, I was just saying.
That picture of you and your daughter at the end of the Super Bowl. This is my son. Ah. Yeah. He's got long hair, I guess. Yeah, he's my son. Yeah. Well, that was touching. Yeah. I wonder if he remembers the time when he dislocated his shoulder in the playoffs. Yeah. When he played here. Yeah, it was his last game as a Charger. Right. Big mistake. And he busted his shoulder, thought, well, he may never... Be on the field again, let alone in a charging uniform. He's in a sling, right? In a sling. Throwing arm? Yep, yeah. We let him go. Look what happened. And it was the day after that. The next day. It was the very next day. And his morale was not what you would think it would be. He was pretty, you know, down. Dejected. Yeah, he was dejected. And so his wife thought, well, let's get Drew out of the house, take him to the movie. And they took him to the movie.
Probably a nice romantic comedy or like a Farrelly Brothers comedy. Well, that'd be good. Cheer them up, right? Yeah, spirits up. Yeah, no, they took them to see Munich, which is a very sad, morose, four and a half hour movie. I thought it was a documentary. I didn't know. Well, I was at the theater, too. Well, you don't say. It was Flower Hill Mall, Del Mar, and we were there to see the same film. And so as the people were leaving, I made sure that I kind of waited until people walked so that I exited the aisle at the same time. He exited his aisle right next to me so we're walking next to each other. Of course. After seeing one of the saddest movies there is. Yeah. And I said, hey, Drew, do you remember me? It's Mikey from You Came Into the Studio and we talked about the didgeridoo. He said, sling. Career possibly over. Yeah. And you know me.
Sometimes the social IQ is not kicking. Sometimes the inquisitiveness boils over. It boils over. Yes, I'm too inquisitive. Too inquisitive. And he said, yeah, man. Yeah. He remembered me. Which is what you wanted. Which is what I wanted, apparently. Misinaccomplished. And I said, oh. And at that moment, I realized, oh, no. He doesn't want to talk. No. To any, probably not even his wife. No. Let alone the fat Mexican that interviewed him one time. Yeah. One time. And only one time. We talked about an aborigines instrument. Right. Yeah. An aboriginal instrument. Aboriginal instrument. Yeah. Yeah. Were you hoping for the reaction of, hey, dude, how you doing, man? I didn't think it would be that, you know. A boisterous? No. I thought it would be like, I thought it would be, hey.
How you doing, man? How's it been going? That's what I would have hoped for. But I would have been wrong in hoping for that. That was the wrong thing to hope for. No one would have wanted to talk in that situation. Right. It was a stupid thing to do. It would be like if we were in a hospital, you know, and we were visiting a sick child. Right. Like you and I together. Yeah, like you and I together, like we were that one time. Oh, that one time. And everyone was crying. Right. And you asked Mike Sweeney. All-star. Professional baseball. From the Philadelphia Phillies. Yeah. From the Philadelphia Phillies. And you asked him if he played in the adult baseball league that you play in. Yes. What's it called? Well, this is the premier baseball league. But your league was called? SDABL. And you asked him, you said, do you play baseball? And he said, yes, I do. Yes, I do. You're in the SDABL? And he said, what is that? And you said, the San Diego adult baseball league. And he said.
No, my name's Mike Sweeney. I play for the Philadelphia Phillies. True story. That's true, what I just said. What I just said is true. If you looked on the ground, if you looked on the floor of the hospital, you would have seen tears, puddles of tears from me, from him, from Mike, from everyone. We were all crying. Anyone that had a heart in their chest. Everybody was crying. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Yeah. Was Kotze there that day? No, his wife was there, right? His wife, Jamie, was there. Easy. Yeah. The only reason that Woods just did that, the only reason is because Kotze is not in town. He would kill me. You know because he listens? Yeah. And he's not in town right now. He's in spring training. He's a pretty girl. Very pretty, pretty girl. But, you know, who could think of something like that at that time? You. I was very moved and, you know, full of emotion. So focused that you brought up your adult little league baseball team. Well, he just looks so damn familiar. And then I realized I saw you in the playoffs. I saw you on TV like weeks ago. Can you imagine if you played in an adult flag football league and you saw Peyton Manning? Yeah.
And you said, hey, do you play football? And he goes, yeah. And you go, are you in the SDFL? Yeah, are you the quarterback for the Cruisers? Yeah. The El Cajon Cruisers? It's me. I'm on the Beavers. Yeah, it's me. I'm on the Beavers. I'm on the Lemon Grove Beavers. Nice beaver. The best part of that story? The best. Because I felt, obviously, mortified as we left the room. We were taking this beautiful young child to another room. We all left. And with tears still in my eyes, have you been to that new Yankee stadium? Have you played there? You are a monster. And he's crying. He's like, yeah, it's pretty cool. I'm a dork. I remember that that happened behind me. Yeah. And I heard it. I'm a dork. And I went, no freaking way. He just did it. Yeah, he did it. He did it. He did it. No freaking way. He also got his phone number. And he also texted him for batting advice. Several times. No, just one. By he, you mean me. You. Yeah, and I've never actually gotten that batting advice, which I'm still hoping for. You pretty much, you hit the button on your phone every day to light it up to see. Yes. Did he text me yet? No. It's not too much to ask. Woods, why are you always on your phone? I'm a professional hitter. I need a little advice. I'm not hitting the ball that well. You spend an average of 44 minutes a week thinking about?
Regrets. That's one of them. Top 10. Yeah, that's about right. Yep. Another one's not saving enough money. Yep. Yeah. You didn't work harder in school. Yep. Not exercising more. Nope. Nope. Not doing enough traveling or seeing the world. Yep. No way. Don't care. They got high definition television for that. Oh my goodness. That is not the same. They got something called the internet. Oh, you. They got something called Google Images. You are missing out. You know what, you guys? If you want to know what Indonesia looks like, you can actually see it right now. That's not true. It's so awesome. If you've never been to Bali, you can. What about the Colosseum in Rome? You can see what it looks like. I want to smell it. I want to walk around it. And I've been to places before. I brought my pictures back. I'm like, eh, it doesn't even look like that. Like, the pictures don't even do it justice. Don't. They don't. They don't.
Yeah, sometimes pictures are better. They're flat. Taste the food, smell the smells. The food is the, I promise you, that is the only thing keeping me from world travel is the food. The relationship. That's it. The money. The money and the food. It's amazing. The pocket picking. Yeah. You guys should give me your travel money and I'll use it wisely. Yeah. People also regret taking up smoking. Yeah. I do. They regret not keeping in touch with people? Yes. Not me. I'm the glue. I'm the only one. Nobody else ever reaches out to me. I'm the guy that always reaches out, and it sucks. That's not true. Yeah, it is. Texted you out of nowhere yesterday. No, no. I'm not meeting people here. I'm meeting old friends from the past. Me too. I'm the high school guy, the college guy. I never hear from anybody. I have to do it. It kind of makes me think I don't have any friends. Not appreciating someone before they died is something we regret. Absolutely. Not taking more photographs growing up. It's true. I wish that. I wish that I could go back to any year of my life and see photos. Yeah. You don't want to see... I've got a good memory bank. Getting married too early is the number 10. Not my regret. Jay always tells me every day after the show ends that he's so regretful of getting married so early. I would advise it for everyone to do it. You advise getting married early? Oh, yeah.
Spend the life with somebody you love. Absolutely. Wouldn't it be wiser advice to be older so that you were a little bit more mature? Why? Well, because you're more mature. I'm as mature as I wanted to be. We grew up together. That's true. He was as mature as he was going to get when he turned 17. I look at the person I was with at the age that Jay was when he got married, and I think, thank God. Yeah. I did not marry that person. Thank God. You could say that about anybody, though. Yeah, it's true. No, there's people that I'm like, oh, that was a good relationship. Just ended. Really? But you don't think back on anybody and go, man, he's the one that got away. But I don't think that was such a bad match. How did that even happen? But the person that I thought I was going to end up with, I'm like, that was the worst matchup. As you're driving in your car, have you ever been told you're the one that got away? Have you, L.O.B.? No. No guys ever said?
No girls ever said that to you? Hell no. A lot of girls have said that to me. You know why? Why? Well, because I'm not the typical, like, oh, yeah, all the girls want to date this guy. I'm more of the, oh, you break up with me. And then later on go, he's a good guy, man. He's really sweet. What a joke. I've never been told that. A lot of girls that I dated were very... I've never not... I've never not been told. I was kind of good luck Chuck for a while, meaning there's a movie with Dane Cook, and I don't know why I've seen that movie, but every girl he dates, she gets married in her next relationship. I was that guy. A couple girls I dated got married immediately after me. Do you guys ever have the eye twitch?
Bottom lid. Oh, yeah. Twitch, twitch, twitch. Of course. Yeah. Jay has it. I've had it. Yeah, he's had it and found out why it happens. I googled it. Yeah, he googled it. He found out why it happens. It's actually, everybody, you know, you probably heard tired. That's only one reason. Stress, eye strain, caffeine, alcohol, dry eyes, nutritional imbalances, and allergies. He is all of the above. Uh-huh. I eat pretty well. Yeah, he does all the above. No, not nutritional imbalance. Oh, I eat pretty well. Yeah. Not if he's allergic to something. Yep. Could be. Then it gives two, like, scary ones down at the bottom. It's like, it could be something bad or something even worse. Emma and Rachel, are you there? Yeah. You've been told that you're the one that got away? Yeah. Chubby like me? Yeah. Yep. See? No, no, no. Are you chubby like me?
Oh, chubby? No. Okay. You just offended her big time. No, no, no. I only ask that because I have been told that, but I think it's because I was chubby and, you know, girls let me get away is the point. They sent you away. Catch and release. Restraining order. That was a catch and release. I was a catch and release. You know, really fun to bring into the boat for a minute and take a look at and then. Well, they were drunk. Just let this thing go until it grows a little more. Sober up. Yeah. Or grows a little less. I didn't need help there. Once they take their beer goggles off. Yeah. Lauren. You city sausage. Oh dang. She told you. I love it. Rachel. What do they say? Why were you the one that got away? Made love. Made love occasionally. Occasionally. He was really focused on football and getting into the NFL and then he got drafted and I went and... visited him and he came to visit his friend in the same town and didn't call me so I kind of wrote him off. Who was he? He just went to mini camp. He was a long snapper. What's his name? Nick. Nick's a long snapper. Yeah.
Nick W. Longsnapper. Nick W. Longsnapper. And so Nick told you, Nick said that he should have married you when he had the chance. Right, and he wrote me a Valentine's Day and birthday card, because my birthday is close to there, a couple years ago, basically saying, like, I realize now that we weren't dating, but we should have. And then I kind of ignored it, because, I mean, that's silly. And then just recently, he wrote me two Christmas cards. One that... basically professed his love to me and to see if he could have it work out, I guess, and long distance. You guys have never... Did you used to hook up or no? Yeah. Okay, okay. We pretty much were dating without the title. Right, right, right. So what did you say to him? Those days were fun. I haven't answered his letters. What are you going to say? I can't. I mean, I already moved on, I think. A little too late. You've moved on? You think. Yeah. Yeah, you said you think. I have, I have, I have. You have moved on. Well, if he had made the team, would that make a difference? If he was a professional long snapper? No, I don't think so. What does he do now? He's a chemistry teacher. He's a what? Chemistry teacher. A guy's got a Jaguar on his helmet or teaching chemistry. Imagine if it had worked out and he was playing for the Jags. Yeah.
Well, it would have been the Raven, but yeah, I don't know. I think it would have maybe matured. I think you might have been a Raven wife. Yes. Are you in a relationship now? Yeah. I know. Oh, I thought you said you were. No. I thought you just moved on. She just moved on emotionally. Yeah. Got it. Maybe make that right with Nick. Yeah, give it a shot. Give Nick a shot. Yeah, you know. Make that right. Give it a shot. For old time's sake. All right. Thank you for the call, Rachel. Thank you, Rachel. I bet she's foxy because football player. He's still thinking about her. She's out there. He's still thinking about her. She must have put it on him. She must have put it on him. On him is what he said. On him. She must have put it on him. That guy. He's so childlike. He's childish. He's childish. He's childlike. Ow. He's so unusual. Yeah, he said broob job yesterday, which almost made me pee in my pants. I almost did. Was that before or after Brian Seacrest? That was before Brian Seacrest. It was so brilliant. Wood said, what's a broob job? What's a broob job? Immediately. This dad gave her a broob job. I don't believe in broob jobs.
What's a brube job? And I laughed so hard. And then not much later. Not much later at all. Wasn't much later. He said, the what? Brian Seacrest. Yeah, Brian Seacrest. Who's Brian Seacrest? That's Ryan's other brother. Yeah, older. Why did you say Brian Seacrest? I don't know if it came out like that. It just came out like that. If his name was Brian Seacrest, he'd call him Ryan Seacrest. Yeah, Ryan Seacrest. I love him. I love him. There's no doubt about it. Bet she put it on him. This woman was dead for 45 minutes and... She finally opened her eyes when her husband said something. What did she say to get her to open her eyes? I'll tell you next. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. What's up there, super sucker? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out.
Tonight, you can see the Cougs at House of Blues, Rookie Card at Riviera Supper Club, Gilbert Castellanos at El Camino, and Lady Dottie and the Diamonds at Gallagher's Irish Pub. Next week on the 6th goes to Flogging Molly at House of Blues. March 8th, the silent comedy Dead Feather Moon and the Howls play the belly up. March 9th, Lagwagon are at House of Blues. March 16th and 17th, English Beat hit the belly up. And March 18th, C. Pussifer at the California Center for the Arts, Escondido. Sleigh Bells are playing 4th and B April 3rd. Transfer, The Hives, James, Delta, Spirit, and Tune Yards with St. Vincent all coming to town. So there you have it. Get out there and sing some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. This is M1 Tyler. Are you there? Yes. M1 Tyler, you called AIS. Yes, I did. What happened? I was paying. Like just over $200 for a 09 Subaru. Over the weekend, I bought a 07 Tacoma, four-wheel drive truck, thinking maybe I'm going to pay a little bit more on car insurance. Got curious, called AIS, and I'm saving actually $113 a month. That's rad. I love it. I love it. And is it because you heard me talk about it on the radio? Yes. Dude. I've been listening to you for years, and...
It was just commercial, you know. Turn your brain off. Yeah. And I've said that. I mean, you've heard me say that. A lot of times people hear it, and it's just sort of something in the background. But then you go, oh, man. Like, I could call right now, and I'll pay less than I'm probably paying now. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4247. Hey, thank you, Tyler. Yeah, no problem, Mikey. Change your life. A career you'll love. Hands-on training. How many times a day do you hear different schools all saying these same things? At California College San Diego, we say enough with the empty promises. Making a life change and getting into a career you love is entirely up to you. So instead, let's talk about what California College San Diego can do for you. Call us today at 1-800-390-6489. And let's talk about how we can help you learn about different government programs available to assist you in paying for college. to attend school on campus or online and our full mix of educational opportunities from associates to bachelors to master's degrees. California College San Diego has helped people just like you for almost 50 years and can help you get where you want to be in as little as 15 months. Just start by calling 1-800-390-6489 for our free made simple guide. California College San Diego. The right college. Right degree. Right now. Call 1-800-390-6489.
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Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Do you or someone you know suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia? Are you interested in participating in a research study? Excel Research is seeking volunteers for clinical trials involving investigational medication. All study-related care is provided at no cost. Health insurance is not required, and you may be compensated. for time and travel. To see if you qualify, call Excel Research at 760-758-2222. That's 760-758-2222. Let Laughlin show you a good time where great variety and fun activities abound. There's no better time to make Laughlin yours. For more information, head to visitlaughlin.com and book today. This report brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger serving you fresh grilled, fresh cut, freshly made to order food since 1948. In-N-Out. That's what a hamburger is all about. Well, we've got some kind of an accident here. It doesn't look like there's any injuries. It's the 5 southbound at La Jolla Village Drive, and I don't even see a delay yet. It just happened, so give it some time. Looks like you do have a backup, though, still on the 8 westbound, although the speeds are starting to recover. College Avenue to Fletcher Parkway between 35 and 30 miles an hour, and then over on the 125 northbound of the 94 West Connector, we've got a stalled vehicle.
This report also brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Enjoy amazing nighttime experiences with extended park hours during spring into night. There's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld fun card. Pay for a day, play all year long. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. How many suits you got? One. And the only reason I don't have more than one is because I never know what's going to happen with my weight. Woods. I'd rather watch a tornado than watch soccer. Yeah. I'd rather watch a fake tornado than want soccer. That's just me, though. Lauren. I rolled my eyes so hard, I didn't think they were going to come back down. And Jay. I'm bringing the war to your shores. No. Yes. On FM 94.9. If you don't like that, I don't want the true statements. I hate to throw a monkey wrench in your monkey wrench, but the Foo Fighters are having to cancel a lot of shows because Dave Grohl's voice is kind of messed up. Makes sense, doesn't it? You've got to rest it, yeah. Yeah, you've got to. Yeah, and the way that some of those songs are sung, it's going to get you. You just said one, Monkey Wrench. I mean, in that song, he goes, Right. I mean, you can't do that every night. And you also can't not sing that song. Right. Dude, I always wonder about that, because I'll look at my favorite bands, like Foo Fighters, I'll look at their tour schedule, and I play it out in my head, and I'm like,
All right, they're in Milwaukee Tuesday. They're in Chicago Wednesday. They're in St. Louis Thursday. Then they got a show on Friday. They get one day out. And I play it out how, in their head, they must be like, oh, my God, freaking four nights in a row. I got to do this. Never get a rest. There's no rest for those guys. I guess the thing that keeps you doing it is you get high every time they scream. Yep. Every single time. That adrenaline? That adrenaline. You know that. After the tour is over, you get to just do whatever you want. Yep. Go to Hawaii for two months and just kick it on the beach. It's like being an accountant, except way, way cooler. Right. Just have this busy season, and you get to just take it easy. I wish I were an actor. Yeah. You just pick and choose when you want to work. Do a movie and then just chill? Well, think about this, Mike. When you were in Hawaii last, you saw Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston. They were there filming a movie. They were working there. They were working. It just seems so fun. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, our job is fun and everything. It's just that to be able to have that freedom of, and Dave Grohl, you're right. They got a big, hectic schedule. Oh, yeah. Look at this. M1 Super Mario.
From Winchester. What was the word of the day? Wrench. You rascal. Look at you. You got it. You're listening. The word of the day was wrench. And you're going to Fontana, my friend. You're going to get to go see the NASCAR Nationwide Series when it comes to town on May 24th. Congrats. Nice. Appreciate it. You got it. Hang on. So, yeah, 45 minutes after this woman was dead, she'd been declared dead. She opened her eyes up because her husband said he loved her. She opened her eyes. He said, I love you. Her eyes opened up. Wow. Oh, man. That's pretty cool, right? Isn't that sweet? That's the power of love. It doesn't happen. Things like that don't happen in real life, but it actually did happen in real life. It happens on TV shows and stuff like that. Grey's Anatomy. Grey's Anatomy, but it won't happen, you know. It'll never happen in real life, but it just did. It just did. Sweet love. Oh, did it happen at Fantasyland? No, it happened in a real place. A real place. Uh-huh. You know? And so it is. Oh. Just like you said it would be. Hi, Mr. Johnson. How are you? Hi, doctor. You doing okay? I'm okay. Listen, I've been at this hospital for 54 years. You look it.
Is that right, do I? Yeah, you do. I've been at this hospital 54 years, and I have never seen what I witnessed you do. You said you loved your wife, and she opened her eyes, and I've never seen that. And I want to commend you for doing something that I've never seen. It's not me. It's you guys. I mean, the work that you and your staff put in is... It's unparalleled. I mean, I've never seen anything like that. What is unparalleled? Parallel. I want you to know that it isn't us. It is you. It's easy to say that, but it isn't us. It's you. I just, actually, I was just like resting my eyes. I just opened my eyes. You have an innate ability. Honey, we just, I'm talking to the doctor, so. Yeah, but I think you need to rest. You should rest. You should rest. You should rest. I'm actually not. I wasn't, I was never dead. You have an ability. You have an ability. A lot of people. It's not ability. I just decided to open my eyes. Wait, their whole life. I wasn't tired. Well, you, God, how long did you go to school? Eight years? I was in residency. Yeah. For the first 12. I mean. You guys are just kind of patting each other's back. Honey, you know, the thing.
The thing is, sweetheart. Well, I would actually rather get dressed if you could just tell me where my clothes are. You're going to hurt yourself. Talk to the doctor. You were dead for 45 minutes. No, I was never dead. Did you see anything cool? No, because I never died. So what I want to do is call the mayor and see if we can get you the key to the city. If anybody deserves the freaking key to the city, it's you and your staff. Actually, if I could just get my car keys and drive myself out of here. It's a very kind thing. You guys are amazing. I wasn't even sick. I was just dizzy. When they interview me for the paper, as they will, I'm going to make sure. Can I get a list of you and all your staff? And I want to make sure I get all their names right and all that stuff. Hey. Come on, we are. You can get me my phone. You're going to hurt yourself if you keep talking. No, I'm not hurt. I never was hurt or sick. This is my wife. She never knows when to be quiet, ever. You guys are kind of talking about me. Well, congratulations to you. You are an incredible man. You're a great surgeon and a great doctor. Thank you so, so much. Thank you to the hospital staff. Someone just turned the lights on. Someone turned the lights on and I opened my eyes.
Everybody in here did a hell of a job. The nurses, they were with her. They consoled me. There was nothing to console. I never died. I can't take my eyes off you. Identical Grey's Anatomy. Identical. You know what made that bit the best was me not being able to find that song. I think is what made that bit top notch. Or when you were like... Go, fam, fam, fam. And I go, you know? And that's all I can come up with. You know. I'm quite the ad-libber. I gave Woods this sign like, can you say anything? Say something. Say something. Burn up some time there. You know? You know? Strong. Quite the ad-libber. I do know. I do know. I know. You know when we play the Grey's Anatomy, well, we say it's a Grey's Anatomy song. And it is. Because that TV show is an emotional jihad. Yes.
It's terrorism. It's an emotional terrorism show. Of course people cry. Of course, if you're watching something dreadfully sad, of course you're going to cry. They love it. Oh, my gosh. They love it. You watch it, L.O.B.? I don't anymore. I did. Well, yeah, because it'll kill you. Yes. If you're a dongless human being, you like... Grey's Anatomy. And you cry and you soak it up. Are you saying I have a dong? I'll tell you what. Dong-less. Dong-less. But I don't watch it. Meaning a woman. If you're a woman. So you're implying I have a dong-less. Well, you don't have cable. No, you're dong-less. You're dong-less. Do you have a dong? Are you lying that you do have a dong? Do you, in fact, have a dong? No. Are you a ladyboy? You don't have one. If you're dongless, you watch it, and I don't watch it. You are sans. Why are you? You're not a ladyboy. Why is Jay the only one that understands? You're a real woman. You're not a Taiwanese ladyboy. Gosh, I love you. That's weird. As much as you want to be that, that's not what you are.
If I had a nickel for every time L.O.B. told us that she wants to be a ladyboy. No, but having a dong would be powerful. You'd have like six nickels if that was the case. Because she has said it six times for sure today. Just today. Part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Do you want to learn how to make a... ton of money flipping houses right here in the San Diego area? If so, we have an amazing opportunity for you. We're looking for 20 motivated individuals to join our real estate investing team. You'll learn our simple two-step system for flipping homes and get paid to learn the process. Hi, my name is Than Merrill and I'm the star of A&E's hit TV show Flip This House. My team and I are looking for 20 people in the San Diego area who want to learn how to make $10,000 to $40,000 per deal.
in your spare time without using any of your own money. San Diego is a perfect market for my system, and this week I'm holding a free two-hour educational workshop where you can learn how to make a lot of money flipping homes in your spare time. Interested candidates can get two free tickets to the workshop by calling 1-800-808-0379. Seating is extremely limited, so call right now to get your two free tickets at 1-800-808-0379. That's 1-800-808-0379. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy. Got to tell you, this Thursday, it's the new thing. This is where we're going to be every Thursday for a while, probably right up until the NCAA finals, March Madness. We're going to be at Dave and Buster's in Mission Valley. It's right off the 8. It's 2931 Camino del Rio North, and it is a blast. Every time we go, we play games. We shoot hoops. We do the quarterback game. We play video games. They have a game there called Silent Scope, where you get to be. Like a sniper. And it's the raddest game ever. So come hang out with me this Thursday, 5-7 at Dave & Buster's in Mission Valley. Listen, the prizes that I've got are awesome. I've got tickets to rise against. I've got tickets to see the Ting Tings. And I have tickets to see the Ting Tings. I've got tickets to see Portugal, the man as well, which were a very hot item at last week's Thursday night happy hour. 5-7 this Thursday.
Today, my journey to help save people money on car insurance brings me to the sunny state of California, which has over 840 miles of sandy beaches. So I've been brushing up on my surfer lingo in preparation. Wasabi, surfer bras and salty sisters? If you're jonesing to save sick money on car insurance, switching to Geico could be hyper fierce. Nah, nah. Slater, dudes. I think I've got it. To get a free rate quote, go to Geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local Geico office. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. My wireless internet bill was really adding up. So to save some money, I just use my neighbor's unpassword-protected Wi-Fi for free. It's unpassword-protected because the signal doesn't go outside of the house. Now get off my couch. Not to mention, I recharge my laptop for free. Mm-hmm. Not free. And while I wait for all my downloads, they really need more bandwidth. I just grab a soda. Not much of a diet fan, but beggars. can't be choosers. You're not begging, you're just choosing. Neighbors are great. To get a free rate quote, go to Geico.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local Geico office. Hi, this is L.O.B., and I should share my little story with you. I went to the House of Blues for a performance last week. I had somebody work on my hair, and she just kept telling me how strong it was, how soft it was, and she even commented on how good it smelled. And Woodsy, can you guess what my secret was? Yeah, absolutely. It's ovation cell therapy. You know how I know?
How's that? Because I use it, too. My wife uses it. Our producer, Jay, uses it. Everybody I know is using Ovation. My hair is thicker, stronger, and longer than it's ever been. I could not be happier with Ovation Cell Therapy. It looks great, and I have so much breakage, especially now. It's really dry in the winter, and I'm so glad I'm using Ovation because it has done me right for over a year now. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the folks over at Ovation. You, too, can have the gift of beautiful hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and be sure to select. FM949 at checkout and you're going to get a special introductory discount. So for thicker, stronger, longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and remember FM949 at checkout for your special introductory discount. Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for $3.50 deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys?
Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. The members of Think Blue San Diego region remind you that the storm drain and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, flows untreated directly into our local waterways. Do your part to keep San Diego County clean and prevent pollution by properly disposing of trash and by keeping your sidewalk and gutters clear.
around your home. For more information and to learn about what your city is doing to prevent stormwater pollution, visit thinkbluesdregion.org. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection. This traffic report brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is backed by a 99.99% jam-free guarantee. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill, no worries. All right, things are getting a little better, but we still have some stuff going on. Actually, they're a lot better when I look at this map right now. The 8 westbound Mission Center Road to the 805 southbound, those speeds are about 41 miles an hour. Still a tough one on the 805 northbound, Claremont Mesa Boulevard, Balboa Avenue, between 16 and 20 miles an hour. And the drive into El Cajon, it's a little better on the 54 northbound. That 8 connector is down to about 19 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Mercedes-Benz San Diego. This just in. From Mercedes-Benz, the car of your dreams can now be the car in your driveway. Drive the C250 sports sedan for a low lease of only $349 a month, but only from your local authorized Mercedes-Benz dealers. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz Bergamont body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm an all-American man.
I eat Kraft American singles. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for his jugular. On FM 94.9. Jared at createyourdesignonline.com is just waiting for you to give him a call or go to his website and get you to do graphic design. With him, that's what he does for a living, and he's really, really good at it. It's Jared at createyourdesignonline.com. His website is really awesome, and he can do your website or your business cards or whatever you need, and he's very good. So the happiest U.S. states just came out. They listed them, and San Diego, or excuse me, California came in 18th place. Wow.
18th place. I see a lot of grouchy people at the grocery store. A lot. There are a lot of grouchy people at the grocery store. And I mean a freaking lot. And I mean 97% of the time. So 97% of the time you go to the store, you're going to see somebody pissed. I'll tell you what, dude. I was there the other day. I opened the door for a couple. And they walked right in and did not say thank you. And I wanted to donkey punch that girl right in the back of her head. It's almost. In theory. Yeah. Well, go ahead. I was going to say, it's almost to the point where I don't hold the door. Yeah, seriously. Because I'm like, I'm grateful. And the guy that I almost hit with my, like, I'm coming down the aisle, he's coming down the big aisle. And we are like, oh, and you know me. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, man, my bad. And he just, he looks at me. Yeah. And he doesn't say anything. And he looks at me like I just kicked him in the shin. Yeah. I got a theory. My theory is, it costs so much to live here, people are stressed. Yeah, they're D's. And they're D's. That's my theory. Here's my theory back to that. I live here, too. And I pay the same. So how come you're not being a D? I'm not being a D. I have a theory. It's a choice. That's what I say. You can feel whatever way you want to feel. Just don't rub it all over my face. Right. I have another theory. Go ahead, LLB. And this would probably be true maybe in a lot of cities as well, not like the surrounding area. If you have a lot of renters, people that don't own their houses, they don't get to know their neighborhood because they're moving around.
relatives back east are like gosh you have another address you know i move around a lot so people don't have a sense of like community right and that translates yeah but what is it what about being a d it translates into the grocery store i don't know you anything yeah they they are so used to live you know like like not being involved and not being cool in their community that it just translates to everywhere they go yeah i think they're just so self-important yeah and they have so much going on that it's they lose that part of like living in the moment. You know, they don't even realize they're being rude. I bet I'm that person. No, you can't. There's no way. That I just walk into a place and don't say thank you. If somebody holds a door for you. No, I do. Of course. I would always say thank you. You're a human. Yeah. I look at these people and I'm like, If I pulled their shirt up, I think they have a box that opens up and they're a robot. You should try one time. I should. See what happens. I get arrested for sex pervertedness. Hawaii is no surprise. They're the number one state for niceness. Of course. Oh, I love it there. Come on, I want to lay you. So stupid. I mean, just on the stupid side. Hawaiian. About a 10. I ain't Hawaiian. I really want to. I'll lay you. I'll lay you. Come on. Come on.
Come on a lay-a. Come on a lay-a. I want a lay-a. My favorite island is... It's my favorite island. Come on a want a lay-a. Hello. Hit it. Not a... Not a... Hello. Hello. You should. Mahalo. Not your halo. It's my halo. It's my halo. It's my halo. My halo. Grass curve. He just says it. T-word. T-word. Point. It just sounds dirty. It sounds dirty. Mike. Mike. There's stuff that just... It just sounds filthy. How about this? How about this? Sticky rice. You can make Mike hungry. Sticky rice. Sticky rice. Wouldn't it be, doesn't it sound disgusting? Somebody goes, oh my gosh, I just lent John my car. There's a bunch of poi all over the backseat. There's some words that just sound disgusting. Yeah, poi is one of them. Poi. Oh God, there's...
Poi and sticky rice everywhere. Oh, gosh. What were they doing? What did you do in my bed when I was gone? There's poi and sticky rice here. Hey, dude. Don't stay at the Hampton Inn the next time you go to Jersey because we just did and there was poi all over the bathroom. Poi. I mean, poi is just a gross word. Ugh. There's a place I was looking at venues. place called the Updike Farm, and I was like, I can't do it there. It'll have to be on the invitation. Called the Updike Farm. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. You can't get married at the Updike Farm. And in the centerpieces, I also want to get pussy willows, and I'm like, I can't put that on the order form either. At the Updike Farm. Two things you cannot do. Well, she's right. She's right. She is right about that. Especially on the Updike one. Well, especially when your friend is named Jay. Yes. What's up, Doc? I'll be there. He'll say that to your mom. Yeah. And your grandmother. Your grandmother. He'll go around asking, what are these flowers? They're lovely.
Yeah, he'll make her grandmother say the word pussy willow. He won't make her. What kind of flowers are these? Can you tell me again? I forget. Hey, Lauren's grandmother, you know what these are? Yeah, that's called a pussy willow. Say the first word again. I got to write it down. How do you spell that? Oh, creepy. Yeah, he has all the nieces and nephews around him. He's like, hey, yo, yo. Watch this. Watch this. Hey, old lady, what are these called? Old lady. I have a legit, this is a real question. I have a real question. Okay. Is it for me? Yes. Okay. At your wedding. Uh-huh. What if I asked you, what if I said, can we dance? Aren't you supposed to? Aren't you supposed to? Woods, aren't, Woods is, Woods is in the corner like, Woods in the corner like. Don't dance with your. boss at the wedding. No, not dance with your boss. But aren't you supposed to dance with your friends? No. At your wedding? You don't dance with the bride. You're going to slow dance? How about kiss the bride? Some people will do the thing where you... Gosh, but what is making it into like I just said, hey, can we have oral? I didn't do... I think you were kidding if you asked me.
See? That would be weird. And I thought that, listen, your friend is getting married, you dance. No. No. I wouldn't because I can't. I can't, nor can I, you know. But it was making me nervous. Some people do the thing where they line up. Like, they'll have people line up and, hey, we're going to play, like, one song if you want to get a dance with the bride and the groom. That's what I'm talking about. You get, like, five bucks or whatever. Woods. No, I think you were talking about a slow dance. I am. And isn't that what it is? No, you literally talk for like 10 seconds. Thanks for coming. Right. That's it. But only if it's like a bit. My point was, I can't do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be slow dancing as little as possible. Why? Because I don't like it. You don't like to dance? I'm terrified of what I'm going to talk to my dad about for an entire song. Oh my gosh, yes. I had to dance with my mom. And that was the most, I mean, everybody will agree. Dancing with your parents, it's just uncomfortable. I don't know. I think it's cool. I did not have to do any of that mess, man. None of it. None of it. I don't like, like, I don't even know if I want to first dance with my future hubby. And I don't think I should ever refer to him as a hubby.
You have to. I probably will. That's for us, not even you. We have to see that. I feel like halfway through I'll make people join in because the thought of everyone just staring for three minutes. They do. And they do. They usually do. Go take a class and get it down. What, do a ballroom dance? Yeah. I don't want to do that. I've seen it and it's fantastic. A ballroom dance? Yeah, you go to ballroom dance? You go to dancing class. One more thing to be nervous about. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't do it, but I have a lot of friends that do. I know, but nobody's supposed to ballroom dance for their dance. I've seen people do it. Absolutely. It just shows you how to move. It looks as awkward as the first class they took because you're all nervous. You're like, one, two, three. Can't see too well. Is that Gene Autrio? My buddy and his wife knocked it out of the park. He's the one then. They killed it. He's the one. I was just like blown away. I would rather do like a choreographed Michael Jackson dance than like a ballroom dance. Rebecca and I had to slow dance to switch foot on fire. which we both loved the song, but we were both really self-conscious. Oh, yeah. I mean, you can feel all those eyes judging your every move. I don't like it. Oh, gosh. They're just judging. And you're like, yes, we're in love. We're slow dancing. We'll smile. We kissed once. Stop trying to read my mouth to see what we're saying to each other. How about that bit? Oh, the ting, ting, ting. Kiss. Kiss.
That's me after about three glasses of wine. Kiss. Are you that? Are you? Kiss. Speech. Speech. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay. Great. This is fabulous. Now, speech. I start it. You do it? I start it. I tink. You're a tinker. Yeah, I'm a tinker. I'm a tinker tailor soldier. Yeah. Spy. It has to be used sparingly or it loses the effect. People love to make stuff lose the effect. I said, oh, so Rebecca looked at me like I was a monster when I asked her this regarding L.O.B.'s wedding. I go, I said, I'm trying to decide if I'm going to say something humorous or if I'm going to say something serious. And she looked at me and she goes, what are you talking about? You saying something. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. We have to go, but.
Can we take this clip and we just start tomorrow with it? Tomorrow morning. What do you think about that? Can we just stop? We won't talk about it after we get off the air. You're not allowed to talk about it. And we just go. Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. Yes, yes. Tomorrow morning. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll be back here tomorrow morning at 5.30 to do it all over again. Mikey shows out.