The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/01/12
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Space Age and Board AgeClogs and Bulletproof VestPlay It Again, SamHunting Permit and Perfect HealthMitt Romney and Mom JeansMom Jeans and Drug RingsAbsinthe and Farrah's JeansDrug Bags and Dipsy DumpsterFBI File and AbsintheAbsinthe and HealthHealthy Living and Wedding PlanningWedding Planning and Weight Loss
On the radio show, Jay and Mike delve into a wide range of topics, blending humor and commentary. They start by discussing the concept of 'space age' and 'board age', then move to 'clogs', 'clogged artery', and 'bulletproof vest'. The conversation shifts to 'Play It Again, Sam', referencing Dr. Seuss and sports terms like 'ride the wave' and 'switch center'. They then touch on 'hunting permit', 'perfect health', and 'sweet mamasia', before diving into political jokes about Mitt Romney and 'mom jeans'. The discussion continues with 'drug rings', 'absinthe', and 'Farrah's jeans', leading to a humorous take on an FBI file and health topics. They transition to 'healthy living', 'wedding planning', and 'traffic', then shift to 'Chevy Volt', 'McDonald's deals', and 'Fresh and Easy'. The show also covers 'Sales Genie', 'Vons', 'NASCAR', 'tire events', and 'Alien' movie debates. Later segments include a legal case over found cash, a dog shooting, a pill to erase memories, a tornado, a fictional letter from Michelangelo, concert listings, home flipping workshops, hair care promotions, wine sales, lumber discounts, robotic assistants, happiness tips, and various other topics like seasonal af
What happened, in order
Space Age and Board Age
Jay and Mike discuss the concept of 'space age' and 'board age', exploring the idea of combining words to create new terms. They also touch on the topic of 'clogged artery' and 'bulletproof vest'.
Clogs and Bulletproof Vest
The conversation continues with discussions about 'clogs', 'clogged artery', and 'bulletproof vest'. They also mention 'speeding tickets' and 'hunting permit'.
Play It Again, Sam
Jay and Mike reference the Dr. Seuss book 'Green Eggs and Ham' and the phrase 'Play it again, Sam'. They also talk about sports and games, including 'ride the wave' and 'switch center'.
Hunting Permit and Perfect Health
The discussion moves to 'hunting permit', 'perfect health', and 'sweet mamasia'. They also mention 'Rise against' and the political commentary on Mitt Romney.
Mitt Romney and Mom Jeans
Jay and Mike engage in a humorous discussion about Mitt Romney's fashion choices, specifically his 'mom jeans'. They also touch on the topic of 'Rise against' and the political implications.
Mom Jeans and Drug Rings
The conversation continues with discussions about 'mom jeans', 'drug rings', and the possibility of Jay being involved in drug-related activities. They also mention 'absinthe' and its effects.
Absinthe and Farrah's Jeans
Jay and Mike discuss 'absinthe', its effects, and the historical context of its use. They also mention 'Farrah's jeans' and the topic of drug-related activities.
Drug Bags and Dipsy Dumpster
The conversation shifts to the discovery of a large amount of drugs in a dumpster, referred to as the 'Dipsy dumpster'. They also discuss the implications of such a discovery.
FBI File and Absinthe
Jay and Mike speculate about the possibility of an FBI file on Jay due to his alleged drug activities. They also discuss the topic of 'absinthe' and its effects.
Absinthe and Health
The conversation continues with discussions about 'absinthe', its effects, and the health implications of consuming it. They also mention 'almond butter' and 'healthy living'.
Healthy Living and Wedding Planning
Jay and Mike discuss the topic of 'healthy living', including 'almond butter' and 'exercise'. They also touch on the topic of 'wedding planning' and the challenges involved.
Wedding Planning and Weight Loss
The conversation moves to 'wedding planning' and the challenges of organizing a wedding. They also discuss 'weight loss' and the importance of making healthy lifestyle choices.
Wedding Planning and Traffic
Jay and Mike continue discussing 'wedding planning' and the various tasks involved. They also mention 'traffic' and the importance of staying informed about road conditions.
Chevy Volt and McDonald's Deals
The conversation shifts to the 'Chevy Volt' and its features. They also discuss 'McDonald's' deals and the benefits of taking advantage of limited-time offers.
People mentioned
JayMikeJoshShepard SmithCarlMitt RomneyObamaWoodsLaurenJeffL.O.B.Fresh and EasyVonsLumber Liquidators
34,493 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's the Mikey Show. Doing this radio program. Learned so much. We were just going over the news and the sports and all that stuff. And I realized just from having to do that, get to know a lot about the world around us. Getting an x-ray today. Find out what's wrong with the belly. Part of it is that I talk differently on the air than I do off the air. Which I had no idea. I talk differently. I guess because as soon as we start to talk, as soon as we go on the air, I feel it. And so I must be... Are you using your diaphragm? I guess I am. Well, I don't want to talk about his birth control. It's not the birth control. I didn't mean that. I don't want... I thought he might use condoms. Maybe the sponge. Yeah, maybe the sponge. I wonder if the sponge is still out there. I don't know. No, I think they used them all up. He's a big player in the 70s. Oh. Yeah.
J, right? Oh, it's huge. Spermicidal sponge. It had a spermicide in it, and that was its whole point. And it seems so strange. And hideous. And hideous. And hideous, really, if you think about it. Well, welcome to the program. We have a lot to do on the show today. We're just going to cover birth control for, you know, hours and hours. Yeah. Thank goodness. You know what's weird is that birth control is actually in the news today. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, there's... I have to... I have to bone up on it, but basically the idea is that the president's health care plan is causing some real controversy with the Catholic Church. Ah, weird. I'll get you. Somebody call in if you understand it completely, but here is what the basics are. It's one of those deals where, like, birth control pills are covered under your insurance. Right. And so churches, you know, who pay people. to work for them are like, well, we don't believe in that. And it's, you know, something that we have to pay for as a company. We have to pay for this insurance. And so if we have to pay for it, we don't like the fact that part of what we're paying for is that. And we don't have a choice in the matter. I mean, the women don't have to, you know, get the birth control. However, the company, meaning the church, has to pay for it.
They should take that money out of that little stuff that they set aside to pay off the victims of those priests and then use that for the birth control. That's a good point. How about that for you? Well, I don't think that's fair. The countless victims of the priests. I don't think that's fair. Pedophilia isn't fair. I agree with you on that one. I totally agree with you on that one. That's not what I meant. I think that it would be wrong to generalize the Catholic Church based on... Oh, I'm not generalizing. Those are monsters. I'm not generalizing. It's just like people that live in glass churches. Right. Exactly. You shouldn't throw rocks and bricks and birth control pills at people. Well, that means that they can't have a problem with anything. Well, pedophilia is fine, I guess, but birth control is not. I read a stat that 98% of Catholics are on birth control. Wow. Holy cow. Stats.com. Stats.com. Stats.com. And here's the problem, Woodsy, is that the Catholic Church, doesn't believe in that. There is some monsters that... Quite a few. Did. Quite a few. There's a lot of victims around this country. I understand that. A lot. I understand that, but, you know, we can't... I can't look at that and go, well, that's indicative of the... Well, they put money aside for... Hush money? Hush money. I mean, there's a kitty, you know, set aside. A slush fund, if you will, to take care and to pay for all this stuff that happened. Allegedly.
That allegedly happened. Well, no, no, no. There's allegedly. Well, they're getting paid. They're getting paid. That's called a settlement. Yeah. It's called a settlement. But that, you know, to say that they have a pedophilia account. Pedophilia fund. Slush fund. That is certainly allegedly. All right. I'll give you that. You know. I'll give you that. And I'm not even Catholic. I grew up Catholic, but I'm not even Catholic. I'm just, you know, I. I felt for the Catholic Church when all of it was happening because I was like, poor Catholics, man. Sure. My dad's Catholic. Hardcore. Getting a bad rap. And poor Catholic priests that are good dudes. Right. Yeah. Which I knew a bunch. I mean, I had them as professors in college. I went to two Catholic colleges. So I had them. I knew them. Those guys weren't up to no good as far as I knew. I've never understood. My church, they were. What do you mean, LLB? There were what? We had a guy that was being accused of such. Have you guys ever seen the movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep, Doubt? Doubt. So good. So good. You guys have all seen it? Yes. If you've never seen that movie, get it. It is the, it's one of the single best performances by Philip Seymour Hoffman I've ever seen. Yes. Because he's good in everything he does. Yeah, he is.
That movie, I had gnawed my fingers to the bone. And as good as Meryl Streep is in that movie, he outacts her. Yeah, he's phenomenal. He's so good in it. And it's just unbelievable. I'm like, I don't know what to think. I know, man. How great is that? When a movie, which that's what they do. They always make it very clear to you who's a good guy and who's a bad guy. When they're able to make it ambiguous, that's a feat. Yeah. I think everyone felt like Meryl Streep's character. We were all like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the right thing is. What is he up to? It's brilliant. Let's see. This is M1 Tijuana from Tijuana. Are you there? Yes, sir. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good morning. Hey, Woods. Yo. Back me up. Mikey. Thank you. I'm stuck at the border here, so you guys keep me going. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. Yeah. So I just wanted to weigh in on the whole, um, the priest and the whole health insurance thing. Yeah. Um, they also, not only do they give you insurance, but you know, you have a job, so you get paid. How come say, well, you're going to use this money for alcohol or drugs. Maybe they still have. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.
I can explain that. Because it's not written in black and white in the terms of the agreement that alcohol will be bought. And it is written in black and white in the agreement that the health coverage will cover and not be limited by birth control. That's why. Because it's written. It's there. It's black and white. You can see it. You sign up for it. You literally sign up. For it. It's explicit. Yeah. Yes. And that is something that has the church upset. They don't want to pay for that. Right. And, you know, I'm not even Catholic. It's not like I got a dog in here. I don't got a dog in this fight. Like a lot of the things that I had heard was the Catholic Church funds a lot of nonprofits. So people that aren't even necessarily. stepping foot in an actual church that are employed, essentially. You know, that's who the people are like, wait, I don't even go to church. That makes sense. Jay, were you being serious about that stat? I was being serious, yeah. You really did hear that? I read it. You read it? Mm-hmm. It's a lot, 98%. What was it? Catholics are on birth control. Birth control, yeah. Even the men, which is the weirdest part about that stat.
They're on the guy pill? Yeah. The gill. The what? The gill. They should call it the bill. The bill. I'm on the bill. The bill. I'm on the fill. Are you on the fill control pill? Oh, man. But, like, LLB makes a really good point. What if you don't work for St. Augustine's Church? You work for a nonprofit that they fund, and they're saying you can't even have it. Like, I'm not. Exactly sure. I know the Salvation Army is backed by one of the churches. I thought it was the Catholic Church. Sorry, Charlie. I can't, dude. You work for the church. Sorry. Do you? Don't you? No. Don't? We don't work for Lincoln Financial Insurance Company. We work for their media division. Okay, well, if L.O.B.'s right, and we take that example of like the, what'd you say, Red Cross or Salvation Army? Salvation Army. Like, let's say, you know. You work for the Salvation Army, but where do you get your dough? Where do you get paid? Who writes your checkout? If it's the church, you work for the church.
Don't you? You don't. By definition? But I don't believe in their rules and regulations. Right. And you don't have to. And I have a friend that's Jewish that works essentially for the Salvation Army. And she's like, well, now what? Now are you going to start saying, well, you have to go to church? Because you work at the Salvation Army. If you're Jewish, you work at the Salvation Army because why? You want to help people. Yeah. And then the Catholic Church, which is not even your religion, but they happen to pay your bills, tells you you can't be on birth control. If you are, we're not going to pay for it. I couldn't. I couldn't be more adamantly in disagreement with you guys on this one. I feel like, hey, listen, if I work for the Salvation Army and who signs my checks has a moral problem with something. And let's say it's not even birth control. Let's say they got a moral problem about something else. And they say our employees are not going to be able to have this. That's, you know, this particular thing. I mean, I'm working for a damn church. What do I think? I just said damn church. I'm working for a church. What do you know? What do I expect? The Equal Opportunities Act or whatever it's called. Yeah. You can't ask about family planning when you're hiring someone. Like you can't say, are you planning on having kids? You know, stuff like that. I don't have to ask you. I ain't giving it to you. But it's none of your business. I know it's none of my business. I'm not going to ask you. You're just not going to pay for it. I'm just not giving it to you. How about I work my birth control issues out with God?
Why don't you not judge me or tell me what I can and can't do as a church? Well, you can. Work it out with God. But you just can't work for the church. Work it out with God. Yeah. I have no problem with that. There's like all kinds of temptations that are out there. Walk me through that argument. Okay. I'll walk you through it. So like I'm working for the Salvation Army. Yeah. And you're telling me that I can't have birth control because it's against what you believe in. Yeah. But it's the state given right or the nation's right. They've written it in and said, hey, look, you can have birth control. We all have the option to get it. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's my answer to you. You still have the option to get it. We're just not going to pay for it for you. But it's all inclusive. It's all in the old big package. Well, that's what we're telling Obama right now. We're telling Obama we want that part taken out. And that is what they're doing. Yeah. They want that part taken out. I don't agree with it. It feels like a big imposition. They say, look, do what you want. But we're, I mean, we morally cannot stand behind this. Listen, there's a billion things that I... understand about the Catholic Church. I don't know why the priest can't get married. I don't get it. Why do services have to be so long? I'm saying Catholic services are short, so that's why I used to go with my dad. How long are they? 45 minutes. Go to Southern Baptist service for two and a half hours. Catholic Church is short. You know what, Woodsy? Short. I heard that. I heard that in the South, services sometimes
will go on for for two to two and a half hours yeah we uh my grandfather was what they called the primitive baptist uh-huh and a primitive baptist you walk in the church and it's just it's sparse it's bare bones the cool thing why i wanted to go with him is because everybody brought food and everybody everybody hey everybody and you knew that yeah i gotta sit there two and a half hours but i'm gonna be eating pecan pie i'm gonna be eating turkey stuffing every sunday But then, you know, I learned, hey, my dad's service is only 45 minutes. I can get back to the baseball field with my buddies. So if I got to go to church, I'm going to knock it out with the old man. Yeah. But sometimes, no BS, two to two and a half hours. And you're just sitting there like, oh, my God. Seems so counterintuitive. I know the Catholic wedding ceremony. Like, when people know that it's a Catholic wedding, they're like, great. Those are long, long. Lots of singing. Let's see. M1 Jeremy from San Marcos. Go ahead. Hey, fellas, I just feel like we're arguing the wrong point here, and the whole country is all, you know, in a fizzy about this. I think the fundamental question is, when was it the government's responsibility to make everybody use contraceptive? I mean, we've kind of shifted from the focus off to the church, but we kind of skipped the first step.
Where is it in our Constitution that the government would be responsible for handing out condoms and contraceptives to everybody in the world? And I think if I follow your logic, what you're trying to say is, where in the Constitution does it say that our government will provide for you something that has to do with sex? Exactly. And where does it stop? I mean, what's next? So, I mean, everybody has to realize that the larger our government gets... the smaller we become as the people. Thank you for the call. I appreciate, I get what you're saying, and I appreciate it. I got a question for you, Woods. Uh-huh. What do you think about if the government covered abortion? They covered it. I think, well, I personally and morally don't have a problem with that. Yeah. As long as it is not, I am a pro-choice guy. I believe that women have the right to choose. So I don't have a problem with the government covering abortion. Right. Okay, now. Would you see that, would that make more sense to you for the church to be upset about? Or is it the same? As opposed to birth control? It's just as ridiculous to you that they would have a problem with that as they would have a problem with birth control. I'm also a real big separation of church and state guy. Like, I really believe that. Well, I do too. And if that's the case, then that means that we have to take this birth control stuff out of there.
We have to separate it. The church shouldn't be, in my opinion, the church shouldn't be making moral choices for me. And I guess financial choices for me. They already do. I know. They already do. I know. Government already tells LOB what she can do with her body. How? She can't be a prostitute. That's true. She is one, but she's not supposed to. She's not supposed to be. Wow, that's rich. She's not a prostitute. She escorts. High-priced call. Right. I'm sorry. High-priced. I'm sorry. That was for your benefit, my friend. Wow! Come on. That was to save you. I will repeat it. No, you're not. Holy smokes. That's so big. It's a joke. I know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Listen. And I disagree with Woods that the church should not. I mean, the government should not pay for abortions. There's no way if you're not being responsible. It is your responsibility to either be a parent or correct the problem. So the reason that you're OK with covering the birth control pill is because it's a responsible thing to do. Well, in the big picture of things.
You'll end up with a bunch more kids that can't be parented, can't be taken care of. I think that's why the government's stepping in. They're like, eventually we end up footing the bill for people that weren't part of the plan. All of a sudden there's babies being found in dumpsters. There's stuff like that that it's better to protect. Well, it just seems so easy to me. It seems like such an easy fix. You as a company can opt in or out of whatever you want. If the company says we're not going to offer our employees dental. We're not going to offer our employees dental. Okay, well, when? If the law says everyone's entitled to dental insurance, you opt out because you're like, I don't think that clean teeth are important. That's my point, though. But that's what the Catholic Church is trying to do. I think a company should be able to. opt in or out of whatever they want. If Lincoln Financial, the company that we work for, opted out of dental, I may not like it. I may be mad about it, but I work for them. They don't work for me. And that's the deal. I think you hit on the word, entitled. We have become conditioned to believe that we are entitled.
To certain things, like it's a civil right, we get dental. Well, let's not provide any health benefits in it. As a company, hey, I'm not providing you any health benefits. But we're pretty lucky, aren't we? Because they do provide health insurance. They do. But if you're giving them a choice, they wouldn't. As a company, if they did not have to provide it, they would just say no. No question. Overall. Saves them a ton of money. Not every company. I mean, there's a few companies out there that would still do it. Why? Because it makes them more attractive. It makes people want to stay there. So it would be smart. But given the choice, do you know how much freaking money a company spends? It's ungodly. And if you took out all the restrictions, it's like, hey, now you're going to have to work an 80-hour week. It's like, hey, sorry, this is what you do when you work here. Hey, tough it. You work for us. M1 Kick Puncher from downtown. What's up? Hey, I feel you guys are still missing the basic premise of the complaint here, and that's the Catholic Church. Does the government get to tell them what to do? Because the First Amendment says the government doesn't get to tell a religious organization what they can do. Well, they can tell them to... Yes, they can. They can tell a church that they can't break the law. Can they tell them to violate their conscience?
They can't violate the law either. So that's precedent. I mean, listen, the government says to the church, listen, you can't molest kids. That's against the law. If they want to have taxpaying employees, they have to follow, you know, fair labor laws. Right, right. They just have to. Human rights. Well, churches don't pay taxes, though, do they? No, they're naturally exempt. They're naturally, yeah, they're exempt. So they don't have to pay taxes. Their employees do? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for the call. It's such a cluster. I mean, we pay taxes that go back towards these programs that eventually, you know, health care programs. Right. Like, you know, it's cyclical. We pay our taxes and then the company has to give it back to us. So it's not it's gnarly. Hey, remember yesterday I was telling you about those firefighters that allegedly beat up a couple of brothers. Oh, yeah. Well, they bailed out. And because they bailed out. Usually, let's say you don't bail out. The DA's office has 72 hours to decide if they're going to bring a case against you. Well, if you do bail out, they get as much time as they want. So they bailed out. That means the DA's office is going to investigate this thing as long as they want. You take a chance, you stay in jail. The chance is, I stay in jail for 72 hours. They may not get enough on me.
And they have to let me go after 72 hours. And case closed. Or you bail out and you take the chance of them gathering information to prosecute you. And going to trial. And that's what they did. I'm taking the 72. Standing on my head. Yeah, well. If it's a case like that. These guys bailed out. And what they're being accused of. Three firefighters are being accused of beating up these two brothers at about 2 o'clock in the morning that were on bicycles. They started jawing with each other. And they took their cell phones, their wallets. And I guess the only, you know, the evidence is testimony. Yeah. You know? My word against yours. That's why I'm doing the 72. Yeah. Real good. Right? Yeah. Real good. It's a weekend. You'll be fine. You're a firefighter doing a weekend in jail. You'll be good. Trust me. I wonder if they talked to an attorney.
Yeah, maybe. And the attorney could have told them, hey, they're not going to have a case anyway. This is hearsay. It's BS. I'm going to go ahead and get you out of here. But if they didn't have means for a good attorney, you're doing the 72 and rolling the dice. Yeah. I think. San Diego gas prices. Oh, God. Right? Insane. $100 for my truck. $100. Gosh. $100. Yeah. Because you have that big old... Suburb. Suburb. $100. Gosh, dude, all right. Three figures on that SOB when you fill it up. You're like... $4.35 a gallon. The highest since July 24th, 2008. Thank you, by the way, to Ben Bernanke. You're telling me about Ben this morning. Yeah, Ben's a... He's a good dude. He's the guy that runs the Federal Reserve. And Ben decided to come out yesterday and say that... Our economy doesn't look as rosy as we all think it does. And as soon as he said that, the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which was stampeding like a bunch of wild bulls down Wall Street and throughout this world, that's what the Dow was doing. It abruptly stopped and plummeted.
Freaking town crier Ben Burnett. Hear ye, hear ye. The economy sucks. I said to Woods off the air, I go, now does that guy drive home and he's got wood because he's like, look what I can do. Look at me. Or is he like, oh man, just messed everything up. He walks in the door, his wife's like. Really? You jackass. I told you. Keep your freaking mouth shut. He's the kind of person that he doesn't cry at a funeral because he goes, what? We're all going to die. He's just black and white. Oh, my gosh. I don't see what the big deal is. I'm going to die as well. You will. I will. You better not cry at my funeral. Ben. Ben. How many times with that mouth of yours? I know it. I'm telling you. Big Ben. Big Mouth Ben. Big Mouth Ben. Run a mouth. Woodsy has news on Chris Dielman. And what game do we play on Thursdays? Oh, nice. We'll do that later. Not right now. But, oh, and we got news on Snooki. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Save big on indoor and outdoor projects at Lowe's. Right now, get 10% off all major appliances, $299 or more.
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Back to programming in a minute, but first, listen to this. Seems the New York Mint is releasing to the public classic U.S. gold coins. There's a number you can call for free historical information and a free DVD. But first, it says that during the Great Depression, people were clamoring for gold coins because no one wanted to face economic turbulence without the security of gold. The government finally took them out of circulation, and a government meltdown was ordered. That's why most of us have never even seen a classic U.S. gold coin. But recently a stash was discovered in Europe, gleaming U.S. gold coins minted between 1866 and 1933, all uncirculated. It says the New York Mint is releasing them to the public on a first-come, first-served basis when you call. Here it is, 1-800-900-9517. Wouldn't that be amazing to hold U.S. history? Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-900-9517. 1-800-900-9517. It's Macy's one-day sale Saturday, preview day Friday, with hundreds of items on sale store-wide. Brows and panties from Bally, Made in Form, and more, $15.99 to $19.99. Take 50% off Gianni Bernini and Style & Co. handbags and wallets, and 30% to 50% plus an extra 15% off fine jewelry.
Stock up on designer dress shirts now 50% off. And the entire stock of pillows 60% off. Macy's one day sale. Savings off regular sale and clearance prices exclusions apply. Right now at the Home Depot, Behr Premium Plus Ultra Interior Paint starts at a new lower price of $29.38 a gallon. It's lowest price ever. It's paint and primer in one. So it takes fewer coats and less time to cover any old color with any new color. It's the perfect time to break out the rollers because Behr Premium Plus Ultra Interior Paint now starts at just $29.38. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the U.S. only C-Store for D-O's. Get in the zone! Introducing new Duralast Gold Brake Pads, sold only at AutoZone. The new Duralast Gold Brake Pads have been completely re-engineered to reduce noise without sacrificing stopping power. Tests show their improved friction materials are virtually noise-free, and they're proven to last longer than the next leading pad. So get super quiet, safe stops every time with new Duralast Gold Brake Pads, only at AutoZone. Because parts are just part of what we do. Get in the zone. AutoZone.
Right now at the Home Depot, Behr Premium Plus Ultra Interior Paint starts at a new lower price of $29.38 a gallon. It's lowest price ever. It's paint and primer in one, so it takes fewer coats and less time to cover any old color with any new color. It's the perfect time to break out the rollers because Behr Premium Plus Ultra Interior Paint now starts at just $29.38. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details. This report is brought to you by Mossy Nissan. At Mossy Nissan National City, get a 2010 Dodge Caliber SXT for only $13,995. Go to mossyusedcars.com now, that VIN number 579-400. A little slow on the 5 southbound right here at the 52 connector. It's about a mile past there. It's 34 miles an hour. Stalled vehicle on the 805 northbound at El Cajon Boulevard, and I'll swing you up here to the 67 northbound. You've got some delays. Lakeside Avenue to Wintergarden Boulevard in the 40s. This report also brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It is so fast, accurate, and easy, it'll take the hassle out of taking a temperature. Every new parent should have one. Get yours at Rite Aid and other fine retailers today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Yeah. Let's do this thing. Jump on the phones, call us, say hi. You're part of M1 Nation. We call our listeners M1s. And you are our first priority. So call us, nation. 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. Today is March 1st. Any other year, be March 2nd. But we're in a leap year. So there was a 29th of February yesterday. But now we are officially in March. Seems like it happened rather fast. Yes. But here we are. March 1st. Expect...
Some rain maybe this morning. Come on, Mike. Mike. Why do you love rain? You're a harbinger of bad news. Some clouds later. Tomorrow it's going to be sunny. For sure. There's no chance it's not. It's going to be sunny. Now it won't be. You just said it. What's a jinxer, Mikey? The word of the day is disclaimer. And so sometime between now and nine, I'll say disclaimer when I do, caller nine, four packet tickets to go see the Nationwide Series when it comes to California Speedway, which is now called the Auto Club Speedway, May 24th. So there you go. Lots of things happening in the news that we got a hit on. Chris Diehlman. Yes, sir. Offensive lineman for the San Diego Chargers. Four-time All-Pro. You and I, Mike, were talking this morning about... AJ Smith, the Chargers GM in his eye for talent. Did you know that Chris Dielman was an undrafted rookie out of the University of Indiana? And look what he turned into. Holy cow. It is now official, though. He will retire. He's going to have his press conference today. He's already released a statement. And he said, quote, I love this game. I've given it everything I have. It's time for me to focus on my future and my quality of life. If you didn't know, he had a seizure last year. He had concussion. His body's taking a beating. So it's time for him to walk away.
And stay healthy. It just is, man, it's tough now because that part of the line, what are you going to do? Well, the whole entire left side of the line, they got Nick Hardwick in the middle. On the left, next to him was Dealman. Then next to him was Marcus McNeil. So if you're the Chargers, you look at that and you go, we're good. We're good for a while. Yeah. They're not. Marcus McNeil is expected to be cut this week. Oh. Yes. There are so... This team, when you see the Bolts run out of the tunnel this year, it's going to look markedly different than it does this year, than it did this year. There's an article in the UT. Kevin AC wrote it. It's amazing, and it bullets all these guys that are probably going to end up somewhere else. Mike Tolbert, Chargers running back, probably gone. Probably gone this week. Luis Castillo, gone. He's going to be cut this week. That will save the Chargers about $5 million. Marcus McNeil will be released probably by the end of this week. Nick Hardwick is still going to be here. Jared Gaither hopefully will be here. They're both free agents. So there's your damn near your whole line right there. I am not envious or jealous of A.J. Smith and the Spanos family having to put a new team together. Vincent Jackson, they're going to let him get a couple of offers. The date to franchise.
players is monday you get one franchise tag per team tell people what that means what they do is they take the average of the top 10 10 or 5 5 or 10 wide receivers in the league and they say hey look you won't sign a long-term deal we don't want to offer you one we're going to give you the average you take it the average for a wide receiver is nine and a half million dollars and it's a one-year deal so they're expected to they want to keep him and he wants to stay which is the best part $9.5 million is what it'll cost them. They've got about $26 million in cap room. And, man, they were at the Combine this week, and they were looking at players, and they're looking at who they're going to draft in April. And it's, you know what, as crappy as it is, it's freaking exciting. It's exciting stuff. Free agency and guys moving to different teams is fun. Woodsy, you're the GM. What position do you take first? I've said it on the air. I think you have to go offensive lineman. But then again, we just talked about a four-time All-Pro that they found as an undrafted free agent. So they're looking at a real strong pass rusher. They have the 18th pick in the draft. I think that's pretty good. I think a hybrid, like the linebacker slash defensive end guy is what you look at. And then in the second round.
I'd like to see another weapon for Phillip Rivers, whether that be a wide receiver or a tight end. Antonio Gates, who knows what's up with that guy. Do you think that they will draft a bunch of linemen and hope one of them sticks? I think so. And I think they're going to give. When you see in about a few months when they go to camp, and I'm reading you the list of invited players to camp, there's going to be 40 offensive linemen on there to see if there's a diamond in the rough. Because they need. depth at offensive line. They don't even have starters, much less backups. Oh, my. So, they've got some money to spend. AJ's going to earn his salary this year. He is going to earn his salary. Yeah, because he's got some dough. He's got to do something, you know? I'm excited, dude. Me too. It's fun. And, Woodsy, it'll be like the next few days and stuff that we'll start to see some action happening? Yes. By Monday, March 5th is the date that you have to franchise your player. Now, if... They don't franchise VJ. Who do they franchise? I don't know. I don't know who it's going to be, but they have a franchise tag they can use. I would assume they'd use it on Vincent Jackson. I'll tell you what, though. This Jared Gaither they picked up last year was absolutely incredible in his short Chargers tenure. Incredible. We have to re-sign that dude. It's exciting stuff.
The singer Kesha turns 25. I didn't realize she was that young. She's 25 today. I'm dirt my dirt. Mark Paul Gosler. Zach Morris. Yeah, Zach. Zach's 38. Oh, my God. How does that make you feel? Holy smokes. How does that make you feel? Take that. Zach Morris. Just winged hair, real good. His giant phone. Giant phone, 38 years old. He's 38. Wow. I'm so excited. Mr. Seaver, Alan Thicke, 65 years old today. Wow. Selling timeshares? Yeah. Ron Howard is 58. Roger Daltrey, lead singer of The Who, 68. Holy smokes. Harry Belafonte, 110. 85. Close. Catherine Bach, Daisy Duke.
Oh, wow. Really? Daisy Duke, dude. Don't say she's 50. No, she's not. She's 58. Oh, you monster. You monster. Oh, man. You're a monster with fangs. Oh. Justin Bieber turns 18 today. Oh. Finally. Legal. How cute. Yeah, what's up? How you doing, Justin? Man, I'm good. I just bought me my first pack of cigarettes this morning. 18. Don't do that. Man. It's not good for you. Man, I am. I'm a hot man. Hot man? Hot man, man. Why? At my mom's. Why? She didn't give me no cake. And I said, I asked her this morning, I said, how you not going to get a black man a cake for you? You're not a black man. You're not a black man. You're an 18-year-old white kid. You're a boy. I want a cake. You have, like, billions of dollars. Yo, man, but your mom's supposed to buy you a cake on your birthday. Aren't you an adult now? Yeah, I'll be an adult, but I want a cake. I'm a kid at heart. Why are you talking like that? I'm a kid at heart. You're not a man.
You're not a man. I'm 18. Nice Bieber. Yo, what's up? Aren't you from Canada? That's right. Why do you talk like that? Winnipeg. The streets of Winnipeg. Forever. Forever, ever. You're never going to have the credibility that you desire. I didn't come here to talk about my credibility, man. I came to talk about my cake. I wanted a cake. I didn't get it. It's my birthday and I didn't get it. Poor baby. Yeah. I asked my mom, I said, Mom, I want a cake that's the same size as the Space Needle in Seattle. And she said, I ain't getting no cake that's the size of the Space Needle. I want an identical replica of the Space Needle. What would you do with the cake that big? I'd eat it. I'd eat it. None of your fans got you a cake? Hell no. I ain't eating no cake my fans make me. Wow. What's the matter with Fancake, dude? Disgusting, man. Oh, come on. Creepy people putting stuff in it. I thought you loved their Beliebers. Yeah, they're Beliebers. I hate my fans. If you want to know the truth, I can't stand them. That's not true. You love your fans. I just wanted a cake. Can't believe you. Shaped like the space needle. So random. Made to scale. I'll make you one. Thank you. There you go. Cute little girl. Guess who turns 43 today?
Javier Bardem. What a monster. That scene. One of the single best scenes in a movie. One of the single best movies ever made. Oh, my gosh. I remember being so riveted. Just so, I mean... How can you lose interest? You can't. It's impossible to lose interest during that scene. It's so, like, my nerves at the end. I'm like, I can't. That was Jamie. My wife said, she goes, it made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't watch it. Yeah. You get so fearful for his victims. It's like you take on their fear. Absolutely. Oh, gosh. He won Best Actor that year for good reason. Yeah, I, you know, I got the movie. We were talking about it a while back, so I got it on Blu-ray, and they've got the making of it on there. Oh, man.
and they were talking about costumes, and they were talking about all this different stuff, and Javier and the hair. Oh, man. The page boy. The page boy haircut. It just happened, and as soon as they saw it, they knew. Oh, yeah. Whose idea? His? I believe they said it was his idea, and the thing that they wanted to make sure that they did was that they didn't say where he was from because you hear this accent. Right. But they didn't want to say where he was from. So that the audience was always wondering, where is that guy? Where is he from? The only description they give of him in the book is that he had no sense of humor. He was a man that lacked any sense of humor. It's one of the most petrifying characters ever to grace the screen. Absolutely.
There's one scene where he is driving up on someone he's about to take out, and you see the silhouette of that page boy haircut, and it's so creepy. It's petrifying. It's such a good movie. It's no country for old men if you haven't seen it. It's great. It's awesome. On this day 51 years ago in 1961, JFK created a little something that we know as the Peace Corps. He started it. Yeah, nice. That's 51 years ago. It's the identical ask not. That's right. Your country can do it for you. It's identical JFK. There you go. Ask not. And then there's this. Mickey, thank you so much for joining me. It must be an incredibly difficult day for you. That's an understatement. Yeah, it's a shock right out of the blue. No one ever suspected, you know, what can you say? Total shock. I'm still just a little bit numbed by it all. If you don't know what he's talking about, he's talking about Davy Jones. If you haven't heard, Davy Jones died. He was 66, died of a heart attack. And what does he ask me when I came in? He goes, Mike, what's your take? Were you into that? I mean, does that mean anything to you? I said, yeah, because I used to watch the Monkees when I was a kid. Had a small crush. Sometimes.
I'm joking about barely dead men. This is some more of Mickey Dolan's on Davey. Mickey, thank you so much for joining me. It must be. That's the one I just played. What happened? How about this one? Mickey, thank you so much for joining me. Perfect. All right. They're both the same clip. Groundhog Day. Yes. I had a hard time. I watched the reruns when I was a kid. It was like. before Charles in Charge or something, it was on. Yeah. I couldn't understand if they were a made-up band or a real band. Like, did the show come first? I never really quite wrapped my head around it. The show came first. The show came first. Yeah. Was it supposed to be, like, a play on the Beatles? It was supposed to be a play on the Beatles, yes. Okay. It was. So I couldn't tell if it was, like, a parody? But then they have, you know... Yeah, the Beatles were huge, and they wanted to capitalize on that, and so they created this... you know, fictitious band. But as it turned out, a couple of them could sing. And so then they had to learn how to play instruments. Is that right? Yeah. Because they, you know, they didn't know how to play the instruments. Right. They faked it a lot. They faked it. That's a good tune. Yeah. It's a good, like, well, I mean, Daydream Believer is a great song. They had number one hits. It's crazy. Number one hits. So, yeah, they were very popular.
I like when they sing the, hey, hey, we're the monkey. Oh, yeah, that song's great. Well, at one point they scream, we're just trying to be friendly. Then why are you screaming at it? You're friendly, but you're loud. You're loud. You just said, I'm just trying to be friendly, and you're screaming it. I thought this was cool, too. Today, for the first time, or actually it was yesterday that it happened, but for the first time yesterday in Rome, the Vatican was letting people see some stuff they never have seen before. Because at the Vatican, they have these, you know, underground just basements full of fascinating stuff. Relics. Relics. Yeah. One of them that they let the public see yesterday was letters to Michelangelo about building St. Peter's Basilica. Adira Michelangelo.
I am writing you in regard to the latest invoice that I received from you for the painting of St. Peter's Basilica. Now, as you know, I hired you on the recommendation of my nephew, Antonio, who said, and I quote, his work is so sick, it will make your head spin. Now, I have to admit, your work is pretty tight. However, it does not negate the fact. that when you begin, we agree on a three-month time period. And here we are 12 months later, and the freaking thing is not done yet. Now, I don't know if your calculator worked the same as mine, but it seems to me in the time that we have gone over, a baby could have been conceived and a deliver already. Now, if you really expect me to pay these overage fees, You are out of your freaky mind. In closing, I will just say, we will not pay a freaking dime over the three months we agree on. And you can take your fancily drawn little invoice that you sent to us and put it where the sun don't shine. Regards. The Vatican. I think it's great that people will actually get to see that. They get to read that. For the first time ever.
What a nice surprise. That's right. Your work is tight. Your work is so tight. I have to admit. It is tight. You're looking good. New York Post says that Snooki's pregnant. Oh, gross. I don't know. You know, you would have to explain to me how I feel about it because I've never seen one episode of Jersey Shore. So I'm disgusted? You're disgusted. I'm shocked. She's... Probably, I mean, I guess I haven't seen many party girls behind the scenes. She's the biggest party girl that I've ever seen. Yeah. That poor kid. Okay, well, you'll understand this, L.O.B. It's unclear how the pregnancy will fit into the Jersey Shore spinoff that Snooki is currently shooting with J. Wow. And a source told the New York Post that MTV went into crisis mode when they found out she was pregnant. They're trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. Yeah. I wonder. Oh, you can't go out and smush and drink if you're pregnant. Her thing was drinking. I wonder if they're going to give her virgin drinks and have her like act that way. And they were trying to hide it. When does the litter do? She a cat or dog? Dog. The self giggle will get you. She actually like just.
got to this great... She was looking good. She lost all this weight and then she got pregnant. It's all relative. I think she's cute. You do not. Her real name is Nicole Polizzi. I don't know anything about her, but I've seen her on TV and I just go, oh, she looks like she's over made up. She looks like an Italian Christina Aguilera. She's an orange. She's an orange meatball. Talk about... Taking away your rights. What would you think if in San Diego they said you can't smoke in your apartment? It's okay with me. Me too. Get it, get it. Well, I have something to tell you when we come back regarding that. And we'll play catchphrase. Oh, yeah. Call in right now and pick either Team Fit or Team Fat. Team Fit is L-O-B-N-J. Team Fat is me and Woods.
What's the prize, Jay? A pair of tickets to see Rise Against at the VAS Arena, formerly known as the Cox Arena, at SDSU on April 15th. What's VAS? VAS. VAS. VAS. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Got to tell you about AIS. AIS saving you money. Talked to a guy yesterday that... was telling us about how he had heard me for years say that AIS was the bomb dig. Didn't do anything about it. He finally did. Saved himself all kinds of money. AIS customers on average say they save about $600 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. Don't overpay on your insurance for another year. You should call AIS right now. They can start saving you money right now. And if they do, call us and let us know.
Tell us about your savings story. I love the savings stories. If you want to call them right now and do like that guy did, 800-777-4AIS, 800-777-4247, or go to the website, AISinsurance.com. Save big on indoor and outdoor projects at Lowe's. Right now, get 10% off all major appliances, $299 or more. Plus, get 18 months special financing on major appliances, flooring, and kitchen cabinet and countertop purchases of $599 or more when you use your Lowe's Consumer Credit Card now through March 4th. And when you buy your next two treatments of Scott's Fertilizer, you'll get 20% off both bags instantly. Lowe's. Never stop improving. Scott's offer valid through 4912. Other offers valid through 3412. Some exclusions apply C-Store for details. Staples knows in a small business, it's all you. Dave, my laptop froze. Call the IT department. Dave, this little hourglass thing won't stop spinning. Call IT. Dave, I think my computer has a virus. Call IT. Um, we don't have an IT department. Sure we do.
Staples, that was easy. When it comes to technology for your home or office, Staples EasyTech can help with everything from buying and setting up new computers to PC tune-ups that will have your computer running like new. Come in now and get your PC tune-up free. Staples, that was easy. In-store only and 324. See store for details. Do you want to learn how to make a ton of money flipping houses right here in the San Diego area? If so, we have an amazing opportunity for you. We're looking for 20 motivated individuals to join our real estate investing. You'll learn our simple two-step system for flipping homes and get paid to learn the process. Hi, my name is Than Merrill, and I'm the star of A&E's hit TV show, Flip This House. My team and I are looking for 20 people in the San Diego area who want to learn how to make $10,000 to $40,000. per deal in your spare time without using any of your own money. San Diego is a perfect market for my system, and this week I'm holding a free two-hour educational workshop where you can learn how to make a lot of money flipping homes in your spare time. Interested candidates can get two free tickets to the workshop by calling 1-800-808-0379. Seating is extremely limited, so call right now to get your two free tickets at 1-800-808-0379. That's 1-800-808-0379.
Hey, San Diego, it's Tony for Butoni. You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking. It's the delectable, exceptional, gastrointestinal delight of your night. Butoni, Butoni, Butoni, Butoni. Oh, you make me feel so right. Think you can top that magic? Just go to Facebook.com slash Butoni USA and upload your original Cooking Up a Jingle lyrics by March 17th. We'll pick the top five, you vote, and the winner gets 5,000 smackeroonies. At Vons, we strive to help you live life to the fullest. And this week, it's time to stop and smell the rosé. Or Cabernet, or Chardonnay, or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on any and all wines when you use your Vons Club card.
plus get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more. Mix and match your favorites or wines you've always wanted to try, like the Crema Chardonnay and Clos de Bois Chardonnay. If you're a wine enthusiast, savings this huge mean you're going to be even more enthusiastic. If you're a wine newbie, you'll want to try new ones. And if you're a wine snob, well, you can still be a wine snob, but for a lot less money. Save 30% on all wines, plus get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more at Vaughan's. They say that wine improves with age. The older you get, the better you like it. And with savings this big, you'll like it even more. Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% off or valid for bottles 750 milliliters or more. Is your hair dry, brittle, and breaking off by the handfuls? Have you fried and damaged your hair from harsh chemicals and heat styling treatments? Are you covering up the holes in your hair where the extensions used to be? Has your hair just stopped growing and won't get any longer? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then log on to OvationHair.com to learn what hundreds of thousands of Ovation Cell Therapy customers have experienced.
How Ovation Cell Therapy can help restore your natural beauty and shine and help your hair grow thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Up to twice as fast. Ovation is guaranteed safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. So you can use Ovation with confidence or get a full refund. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. The Home Depot has made a special buy on indoor tropical plants in 10-inch pots for only $7.88. Over $5 off a nice variety of bold, distinctive plants that brighten any room but don't need a lot of maintenance. So they'll command attention, but they won't require much. Get more spring per dollar and beautiful 10-inch indoor tropicals, now only $7.88 each. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Vow through March 7th, U.S. only. See story details. A luxury automobile should be more than a status symbol. It should be a high-performance work of art. And everything about the Acura TL was designed to make it that way, including the boldly restyled exterior and a powerful 280-horsepower VTEC engine. And right now,
You can find an outstanding deal on the TL of your choice. Visit your local Acura dealer today. Acura. Advance. Stop it and test drive the 2012 TL today. Find your dealer at sdacuradealers.com. This report is brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Enjoy amazing nighttime experiences with extended park hours during spring into night. There's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld fun card. Pay for a day. You could play all year. Well, things are starting to build. A little bit of traffic over here on the 67 northbound Maple View Street, very slow, about 23 miles an hour. Lakeside Avenue, Winter Garden Boulevard, both in the 30s right now. Heading over on the 805 northbound at Claremont Mesa Boulevard. Be careful, there is somebody walking around in the middle of the freeway. And then you've got a little bit of a backup as you leave the Coronado Bridge, 75 westbound. That exit is about 35 miles an hour. This report brought to you by IHOP. The Lorax is at IHOP. Try the Lorax's green eggs in hand with whole wheat pancakes and make it an IHOP day for a limited time at participating IHOPs. The Lorax in theaters March 2nd, rated PG for brief, mild language. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'd have to wear Gene Simmons boots to go out with a tall girl. And even then I'd be shorter. Woods. And my back is not fat. My stomach is.
Lauren. I have a Bazooka Joe comic collection. And Jay. I never said I could do a cold read. I said I could act. I'm an actor. On FM 94.9. Well, I'll tell you what. The 80s had a sound and you can't deny it. I mean, it is so recognizable. There is no doubt in your mind when you hear that, what era that came from. I love it so much. It's fantastic. This is so good. It's a good way to start your day. It is. A little Mark Swatter for you, sweetly. Very deep lyrics. Yes. Yes. So, smoking in apartments and condos here in San Diego could be banned if this ordinance becomes official. Because that's what they're working towards. Now, if this thing happens, this is how it'll work. And there's a part of it I'll preemptively tell you I don't understand.
And that is this. It's going to give the non-smoking tenants the power to make their living environments smoke-free. Right now, landlords have the choice to designate their rental property smoke-free under state law, under the new idea. Here's where it gets confusing. Renters bothered by smoking neighbors would need to submit a written complaint with proof to their landlord. That's the part that I don't get. How do you prove it? How do you prove it? That it's bothering you. You could say they're smoking, and I don't like it, but how do you prove they're smoking? Cigarette butts? Pictures? Pictures? Yeah. Pictures of them smoking in their apartment? I guess. That's a little creepy. Yeah, it is. That seems like an invasion of privacy. It sure does. But anyway, that's what they say. Oh, this must be government subsidized housing, right? No. Not a house that you pay for out of your own pocket. Yes, sir. Well, if it is owned by some... you know, property management thing. I guess they can tell you. It's communal living, though. You're all right on top of each other. Well, yeah, but I'm in my apartment. Yeah, but I'm above your apartment and it seeps through everything. Does it? Yeah, absolutely. If you don't own it. Here's how it's going to work. Does it? Landlord has to take reasonable steps to stop the smoker with up to three verbal warnings. Wow. And if needed, a written warning. The last resort, eviction. You know, about...
Ten years ago, I watched a Dennis Leary stand-up bit, and he goes, what's the rule now? You can only smoke in your house, under a blanket, in the closet. And I laughed because it was funny. Now it's true. And now you can't even smoke in your own house. Well, you can if you own the house. If you own it. So in order to want to smoke at your home, you have to be a homeowner. Well, I guess what it tells you is that stuff is dangerous. Get it. Hey, you don't like it? Don't do it. But the secondhand smoke, they're saying, is just... That's all it is. Just the secondhand. There's no secondhand smoke. If I'm in my apartment? Absolutely. They've chosen all the filters. That's what I thought. That's what they're proving, yeah. Cancer is the number two killer in the U.S. Heart disease number one. With my game, what's to play? Yeah. What do we have as a prize today? Whoa, whoa, whoa, sorry. It's Rise Against Tickets. Okay, cool. So you just got to call us and pick a side. I need you to mind melt today. It's not a good showing earlier. Yeah, you guys got spanked. Yeah, we got killed. You did. The only reason we got a point was on technicality. Yep. Yep, I said flip. All right. That's great.
Trying to get this microphone situated. Here we go. Here we go. I need you to focus. Let's focus. I'm trying. Come on, man. All right. Let's get the sides picked. This is M1 Josh from Wildemar. Who would you like? I'm going with Team Fatty Boys. There you go. Have you not learned your lesson? Mistake. Bring it home, boys. Hang on. And let's see. M1 Jason from San Diego. You've got Team Fit. Sounds good. All right. Hang on. Jay is the best. Jay, his new bit. Yeah, it's great. Is just mouthing the sound effects himself. Yeah. If he doesn't have access to his board, he'll just do them. Nice Bieber. Nice Bieber. All right, Jay. We're going to do SciTech. Oh, God. Why is that always your bit? Because we win when I do it. Just like they do sports and games. I struggle a little bit. You're good at it. Here we go. Oh, if I'm an outer. Space. But just shorten that word up a little bit. And then... Spa? If I'm... How old I am? No, no. Age space? No, other way around. Space age. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh, perfect. It's... I guess it's a big thing of... It's two words. It's... Solar system. No, it's... If I'm going... I'm doing what?
Strain. Yes. Andromeda strain. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That is insane. Okay. If you surf on this. Water. Oh, surfboard. Yes. Board. Yes. Board room. Relax. And then the last word is like your well-being is your. We're talking about this. Board age. This plan. Board health. Yes. Board of health. Board of health. Oh, my goodness gracious. Okay. Government agency. Team two. You saying. Relax. Relax. Yeah. Most genius thing ever. I don't have time to relax. Board age. All right. So do you give team two a point? One nothing. I did. One nothing us. One nothing us. All right. I'm going to stick with this category. Monster. Here we go. He's your monster. This is something, it's two words, something that you get, what's inside of here? A brain. Okay. Brain freeze. No, this is something, if it's medical, you have to go get a... Scan. Brain scan. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. If I create something... Maker. No, it's like a bigger word. When you... I'm considered a great... Inventor. Yes.
Oh, wow, wow, hurry. Okay, I probably have a couple of these. Speeding tickets. No, if there's a lot of something in the toilet, you say it's... Full. Or... Overflowing. Or... Cascade. No, Danish people wear these on their feet. Clogs. Clogged up. Yes. And then this is in your heart. Clogged artery. Yes! Oh, my goodness. You do have a couple of those. Okay, you have to wear this if you don't want to get shot at as a cop. A vest, a bulletproof vest. Yeah! It went off in her hand. Yes. Not the first time I've said that. Yes. Oh, yes. Mike, you did not hear what you just said. That's a good thing. All right. Nothing. All right. I'm changing the category to sports and games. Here we go. Now we make our move. Now we make our move. We are up two to nothing. We are up two to nothing. I just want to let M1 Josh know. Of course you do. This may be our day, Josh. No. No. We're about to come on strong. Hang on, Josh, okay? All right. All right. Yeah. You guys stop doing bits and yelling over us. Nobody's yelling. Nobody's doing bits. There we go. You just said it every time. It makes me insane. Yeah, quit talking while we're playing. Here we go. Here we go. You always love the talking. Jay does this. It's a game. It's one. Jay does the game. A baby gun. He shoots. A world of Warcraft. Calm down. And paint comes. No. Dang it. No. Dang it.
I said paint. Don't give them freebies. One to two. All right, we're in the game today. It was an interception. It was a fumble. Yeah. We're in the game. We're going to do entertainment now. Ah, that's my move. Two to one. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, if I'm at a piano. Playing the piano. But it's that word. Playing. Piano. They used to say it in olden times. Hey, do that again. Play me a song. Do that again. Play it again. Play it one more time. Play me a song. I am. A man? No, no. Put a word in front of it. What I am? You are I am? No, it's a... Gosh. Tickle the ivories. No. I am. I would not do that. I don't know. Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss. Oh, Sam. Yes. Sam, play me a song, Sam. No. No. Sam the Bigger. Yes. Play it again, Sam. Play it again, Sam. Oh, my gosh. I was close. I got so nervous right there, dude. I was about to vomit. Me too. I know. Me too. I got so nervous because I was like, she's going to get it. I am. I am. I am. So there's a saying, play it.
Play it again, Sam. Play me a song, Sam. Play it again, Sam. So good. You didn't know. Play it again, Sam. So what is it? Three to one? Three to one, I get it out. We only need one more. Sports and games. Let's do it. Dang it. Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Sports and games. Get. Surfers do this. It's three words. They hang ten. No. Jump on a barrel. You jump on your board and you. You hang ten. Think of different words. You do this on a horse. Ride. Yes, correct. First word. Ride the wave. Yep. Oh, gosh. All right. Oh, you're going to play this with X's and O's. It's a game. Oh, gosh. Come on, Mike. If you can do it this way. Switch center. Yes. Wow. I like Mikey. Oh, I need this to kill deer. A rifle. A shotgun. No, it's required. But it's something else they call it. A hunting permit. You have a driving. A hunter's license. Oh, you faker. You do this in a big thing, and there's things floating in it, and you... Bubbing drop? Yep! Oh, my goodness. Oh, you're this. There's nothing wrong with you. I'm perfectly healthy. Perfect health. Just a noun. Health. Healthy. No, no, no. The first part. Perfect. Yeah. I'm perfect. Yeah! Yes, it tastes so good when it hits your lips. Sweet mamasia. Oh, you got spanked. Oh, my gosh. Richie!
What was it? Perfection. All you had to say was J. Isbell. Just say the way you make love. I said you're this. There's nothing wrong with you, which we should probably isolate. I am exhausted. Yeah, it's really exhausted. Oh, my God. Wow. You may have ruptured the gallbladder again. You have to get your spleen taken out next. Gosh, that was intense. That was intense. Mike, you were on point today. Why do we get so worked up? I mean, we get to the point where we're just going to hurt ourselves. You would think a million dollars is at stake. I know. For us. You think our lives are at stake. Yeah, so it's going to come to our heads. Yes. Let's see. Was it M1 Josh? Yes. Is that right? That was good radio, fella. Thank you very much. And this is Josh, right? Yes, it is. Josh, you are a winner, and I don't even know what we got for you. Rise against. Rise against. Rise against. There you go. There you go. Hang in line. Oddly enough, you guys did rise against. We did. We rose against it. That is correct. Feels good to be a champion. This was kind of good. I don't know if you know. And this is going, you talk about something sticking. I think this may stick to Mitt Romney. Shepard Smith on.
Fox News. And it certainly took hold with a narrative that suggested that Romney is a weak frontrunner. You know, I'm sorry, Carl, but I'm looking at him over your right shoulder there. Do you think he's aware he's wearing mom jeans? Oh, he's wearing jeans. He's wearing mom jeans, Carl. It's 2012. It's going to stick. Well, you know, listen, he at least took the suit off of the tie off. I'm not his happy basher. You're not the one to tell him. I know that, but somebody should. Well, I think you just did. Oh, gosh. Oh, no. Mitt Romney wears his jeans a bit high. Obama does, too. Obama does? Yeah, he did that first pitch the one time, and he came out wearing mom jeans. Well, here's the deal. I mean, I don't want either one of them in sevens. I don't. Yeah, it's creepy. But I also don't want belly button, you know. Yeah, maybe just get some Wranglers. Guy's right, though, Woods. He wears his waistband way too... It looks like he's dropping the kids off for soccer. That's an immediate disqualification from the race. The mom jeans? It's immediate. Yeah, you can't. A guy leading your country cannot have his jeans up to his tees. And I'm sorry. I agree with Shepard Smith. Nobody goes, um, no, let's do this. You can't go out there like that, buddy. You can't. You can't. You can't do it. I can't imagine telling my dad, who wears mom jeans, that he needs to lower the waistband.
Yeah, maybe it's just hard to tell them. My pops started wearing the designer jeans, but the designer, well, hold on, before you get all excited. Sixes instead of seven? Yeah, the designer jeans that you get at like Ross. Seven and a quarters. Yeah, seven and a quarters. The fact that I've spent $180 on jeans before makes him sick. Oh, I bet. It makes him sick. My dad used to wear something called Farrah's. Farrah jeans. Okay. That's awesome. That's so good. Farrah's. Mom jeans. Nice beaver. I'm sure Jay already knows about this, but they found a big old couple of black garbage bags full of weed at PB. I wonder where I left that. And, well, apparently these guys were going through a dumpster in Crown Point, and somebody was watching them.
Saw him pull a couple of big old garbage bags out of the dumpster. So they called the cops. Cops go over there, look in the bags, big black garbage bags full of weed. Then they go in the Dipsy dumpster. Have you ever heard it called that? No. Dipsy dumpster. Just now. Just now. First time ever. I've heard it. They go in the Dipsy dumpster and they find another gigantic bag of weed. So there's three gigantic bags of weed. Wow. In there. That's a lot of weed. Yeah, it's a good bit. I mean, he drops it off, throws it in like it's garbage. They come pick it up. They do it in broad daylight. That's the way. Yeah, because then people would think, oh, that's just a person rummaging through garbage. Or they see the guy pull up and throw it in there. That's just a guy throwing away garbage. Who's calling the cops on people going through trash cans these days? Well, they thought it was unusual seeing these guys going through the thing. pulling out these bags that look suspicious. They just look suspicious, I guess. And as soon as the cop showed up, or as soon as the worker saw them and started to make the call, they ran. So that's why they left the, well, first they left the two, but they also didn't get the chance to get the third bag out.
There's going to be some prints. That's why Jay's so exhausted today. Because he was running from the cops all day yesterday. I'm saying this in all seriousness. What are the chances the FBI has begun a file on Jay? That is a good possibility. That is a... Great conspiracy theory and probably true. We make a lot of references to Jay and his drug rings. Yes. To Jay's pot smoking. And to be honest, I have no idea if Jay actually smokes pot. But he just seems like such a pot smoker that I say that he does, but I actually don't know if he does or not. There's a van parked outside of his house right now. White van, black windows. After high school, there was a time period where it was crazy, but not anymore. Good. Well, that was back in like the 1800s. That's true. Where you could actually, they did, they used to take morphine back in the 1800s, back in Tombstone. We had to. That's right. Big fan of the absinthe. Still am. Have you drank that? I have had a little bottle. It didn't do anything. Absinthe? You didn't have the real one then. Oh, yeah, I did. Because I thought absinthe was 110 proof or something. My friend brought it back from Ireland. It's not Irish. Where it was they were, yeah. Where it was they were. French, yeah.
He brought it back from the damn Sphinx. It was black in a little tiny bottle. Doesn't absinthe contain 110% alcohol? Something like that. The thing that gets you an absinthe is called wormwood, and it makes you hallucinate. And the way you do it, I hear, is you pour it over some sugar. But now, if I went to BevMo today, I can get a little bottle of absinthe, but it ain't the real absinthe that you get over in France or whatever. So it's absinthe flavored. Describe to me the thing with a sugar cube. You take a spoon, you put it on top of a... Sounds like heroin. A glass, right? And you put a sugar cube on top of the spoon. And you pour the absinthe over the sugar cube and it all melts into the deal. You drink it. You drink the... You dump the contents of the spoon into a little shot. Yeah, and it runs over and it melts the sugar and it all runs down into the glass. And then you drink the glass and then you trip out. Yeah. Cut your ear off like Van Gogh did when he was drinking it. Yeah. We didn't trip out. Jay, did you get drunk? I felt all super warm. My body was all warm, but it was like, I didn't fall to the floor. Well, you were sitting in a hot tub. Is it illegal? No, you can buy absinthe-flavored stuff today. It's not the real deal. It's like you can't get moonshine. This is the real deal, straight from the source. No, it wasn't. Well, it says wormwood on it.
Yes, contains wormwood. This has wormwood in it. I still have some. I'll bring it in. I'll show you. Bring the bottle. I think you needed to drink more then. Tastes awful. Yeah, I heard it does. Let me see. This is from... Oh, yeah. Woods went into Sprouts. Used to be Henry's. Henry's is done. I still call it Henry's. I won't call it Sprouts. Oh, I call it Sprouts. Because I never went to Henry's. Woods went in there and... He now is almond butter guy. Yep. He's got some Barney butter in front of him right now. Listen, if you're listening right now and you are a healthy person, do you mix in almond butter and pecans and almonds and fruits and veggies? Because if you do, you're like Woodsy. You're taking it serious. Good for you. I decided. I walked yesterday. Yay. Yep. And I've decided that it's time and I am going to...
Begin the process of losing weight and getting healthy. Exercise. And I said, you know, it's going to take a while for me to get this going. And I'm taking baby steps. I haven't adjusted my eating yet. I'm going to start exercising. Then I'm going to start adjusting my eating. And I'm going to try to get into good shape. The first step is the hardest. Then after that, you'll cruise. What are you eating today? What did you send Nicole out for? I'm just asking. I got the same thing. It's fine. Did you get the burrito with extra... Extra? Extra burrito? Burrito with extra... Burrito. Extra Mexican? Burrito with extra burrito. I got a bagel sandwich. I did also, Jay. Fat boy. Oh. Oh, no. Lauren says she's 90% sure she's got the venue picked out for her wedding. Mm-hmm. Really? Why only 90? Why not 100% sure? Because I feel like there's more I have not seen, but I got to act fast before. And I want to try to haggle them down. This one, planning a wedding. If you had to live inside her brain as she planned the wedding, you'd be like, I got to get out of here. I got to go. She said that she thinks that she's done 25 hours of work so far. Yeah, definitely. If not more. Oh, my God. I'll sit for like five hour increments. Just.
You should see the questions. I was firing her away. I'm like, all right, so facility fee, and then are there any licenses or permits or stuff like that, insurance? I got to know about. Wow. I got it down. Wow. Of course she does. Yes. Would we have expected any different from our girl, L.O.B.? Now, concerning this wedding, yesterday, right as we were wrapping up our program, I said that... My wife thought that I was odd for saying to L.O.B. I can't decide whether or not I'm going to, when I speak at her wedding, if I'm going to do a serious speech or if I'm going to say something more funny. Say something at my wedding that you were not asked to do. Right. And so I'll explain. I'll explain my side of things when we come back. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. Good job. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The Chevy Volt was one of the most awarded cars in 2011. The Volt does something other electric cars only dream of. It keeps going for a long, long time after its full charge runs out by switching to gas. And guess what? Now it gets even better.
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This report brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Renew your ride with a new set of tires during Firestone Complete Auto Care's March Tire Event. Buy three Firestone Champion HR tires for your car. Get one free. See your store for details. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the Firestone near you. Well, things just starting to bunch up. Kind of weird here. I don't have a lot of slowing generally in this area. It's usually just about Lakeside Avenue. But the 67 northbound from Lakeside Avenue to about Wintergarden Boulevard, it's in the 30s right now. El Cajon's a little tough on the 54 south. The eight connectors, about 20 miles an hour. And as you leave the Coronado Bridge on the 75 westbound, it's 24 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with personal touch. Allstate agent will help you get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
I have to give a disclaimer because I don't want people to think that I'm absolutely crazy. I do have some sort of rationale for why I said to my wife, I wonder whether I should give a serious or funny talk at L.O.B.'s wedding. So you got to just hear me out on that one. All crazy people do. And we'll replay for you what led up to that. Woodsy, tell me what's going on with the Aztecs. Well, they needed a win last night. The San Diego State Aztecs basketball team needed a win. They got one. They beat Boise State 66-53. They are one win away from hanging another Mountain West champion banner. They'll get their chance Saturday 4 p.m. against Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas. Game is Saturday at 4 p.m.
Also, if you're a Steelers fan, and I know there's a lot of you in this town. A lot of Steelers fans here. They travel well. They do. It's a sad day for you because you're letting go one of your fan favorites for years. Hines Ward will be released today by the Pittsburgh Steelers and has been a four-time Pro Bowler, an MVP of the Super Bowl, 1,000 catches, 12,000 yards, 85 touchdowns. Wow. I believe he's 36 years old. You know, that's just kind of the time. But he says he's got football left in him. How much do you think? I don't know. I was thinking about it this morning, driving in. I'm 36, and they were talking about the Celtics and how they're all getting old. And I'm like, gosh darn, dude. Your body, it's just hard to recover. I can't imagine what it would be like playing in an NFL football game and then having to get up the next day. Wait until you get to the age where you know definitively in your mind that there's not athletes that can play at your age anymore. It's sad. That's when you know you're old. Yeah, 36 next week. Oh, wow. We're looking for... Oh, we got him. On line three. Go ahead, Nicole. Put him on hold. Put him on hold. Let's see. It is Jeremy. M1 Jeremy from Oceanside. You there? I'm here. What was the word of the day? Disclaimer. You are correct.
Four-pack of tickets to the Nationwide Series, and it's going to be at the Auto Club Speedway on Saturday, May 24th. Hang on, okay? Awesome. Sounds good. Thanks. You got it. Okay, so yesterday, we're going to play back this clip for you to kind of reset for you where my thinking was, and I'll explain once this clip is done being played. There's stuff that just sounds filthy. Doesn't it sound disgusting? Somebody goes, Oh, my gosh. I just lent John my car. There's a bunch of poi all over the back seat. There's some words that just sound disgusting. Poi is one of them. Poi. Oh, God, there's poi and sticky rice everywhere. Oh, gosh. What were they doing? What did you do in my bed when I was gone? There's poi and sticky rice here. Hey, dude, I got... Don't stay at the Hampton Inn the next time you go to Jersey because we just did and there was poi all over the bathroom. Poi. I mean, poi is just a gross word. Dirty word. Ugh. There's a place I was looking at, venues, a place called the Updike Farm, and I was like, I can't do it there. It'll have to be on the invitation. Yeah. It's called the Updike Farm. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
You can't get married at the Updike Farm. You can't. And in the centerpieces, I also want to get pussy willows. And I'm like, I can't put that on the order form either. At the Updike Farm. Yeah. Two things you cannot do. Well, she's right. She's right. She is right about that. Especially on the Updike one. Well, especially when your friend is named Jay. Yes. What's Updike? I'll be there. He'll say that to your mom. Yeah. And your grandmother. Your grandmother. He's going around asking, what are these flowers? They're lovely. Yeah, he'll make her grandmother say the word pussy willow. Yeah, he won't make her. What kind of flowers are these? Can you tell me again? I forget. Hey, Lauren's grandmother, you know what these are? Yeah, that's called a pussy willow. Say the first word again. I got to write it down. How do you spell that? Oh, creepy. Yeah, he has all the nieces and nephews around him. He's like, hey, yo, yo. Watch this. Watch this. Hey, old lady, what are these called? Old lady. I have a legit, this is a real question. I have a real question. Okay. Is it for me? Yes. Okay. At your wedding, what if I asked you, what if I said, can we dance? Aren't you supposed to? Aren't you supposed to? Woods, aren't, Woods is, Woods is in the corner like, Woods in the corner like. There's no dance with your.
Boss at the wedding. No, not dance with your boss. But aren't you supposed to dance with your friends? No. At your wedding? You don't dance with the bride. Are you going to slow dance? How about kiss the bride? Some people will do the thing where you pay. What's just making it into like I just said, hey, can we have oral? I didn't do. I think you were kidding if you asked me. See? That would be weird. And I thought that, listen, your friend is getting married, you dance. No. No. I wouldn't because I can't. I can't. Nor can I, you know. But it was making me nervous. Some people do the thing where they line up. Like, they'll have people line up and, hey, we're going to play, like, one song if you want to get a dance with the bride and the groom. That's what I'm talking about. You give, like, five bucks or whatever. Woods. No, I think you were talking about a slow dance. I am. And isn't that what it is? No, you literally talk for like 10 seconds. Thanks for coming. Right. That's it. But only if it's like a bit. My point was, I can't do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be slow dancing as little as possible. Why? Because I don't like it. You don't like to dance? I'm terrified of what I'm going to talk to my dad about for an entire song. Oh my gosh, yes. I had to dance with my mom.
And that was the most... I mean, everybody will agree. Dancing with your parents, it's just uncomfortable. I don't know. I think it's cool. I did not have to do any of that mess, man. None of it. None of it. I don't even know if I want to first dance with my future hubby. And I don't think I should ever refer to him as a hubby. You have to. I probably will. That's for us, not even you. We have to see that. I feel like halfway through I'll make people join in because the thought of everyone just staring for three minutes. They do. And they do. They usually do. Go take a class and get it down. What, do a ballroom dance? Yeah. I don't want to do that. I've seen it and it's fantastic. A ballroom dance? Yeah, you go to ballroom dance and go to dancing class. One more thing to be nervous about. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't do it, but I have a lot of friends that do. I know, but nobody's supposed to ballroom dance for their game. I've seen people do it. Absolutely. It just shows you how to move. It looks as awkward as the first class they took because you're all nervous. You're like, one, two, three. No. Can't see too well. Is that Gene Autrio? My buddy and his wife knocked it out of the park. He's the one then. They killed it. He's the one. I was just like blown away. I would rather do like a choreographed Michael Jackson dance than like a ballroom dance. Rebecca and I had to slow dance to switch foot on fire.
which we both loved the song, but we were both really self-conscious. Oh, yeah. I mean, you can feel all those eyes judging your every move. I don't like it. Oh, gosh. They're just judging. And you're like, yes, we're in love. We're slow dancing. We'll smile. We kissed once. I'm trying to read my mouth to see what we're saying to each other. How about that bit? Oh, the ting, ting, ting. Kiss. Kiss. That's me after about three glasses of wine. Kiss. Are you that? Are you? Kiss. Great, yeah. Speech. Speech. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay. Great. This is fabulous. Now, speech. I start it. You do it? I start it. I tink. You're a tinker. Yeah, I'm a tinker. I'm a tinker tailor soldier. Yeah. Spy. It has to be used sparingly or it loses the effect.
People love to make stuff lose the effect. I said, oh, so Rebecca looked at me like I was a monster when I asked her this regarding L.O.B.'s wedding. I go, I said, I'm trying to decide if I'm going to say something humorous or if I'm going to say something serious. And she looked at me and she goes, what are you talking about? You saying something. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. We have to go, but. Can we take this clip and we just start tomorrow with it? Well. It's tomorrow. It's tomorrow. So now you get the ear. Well, what was I thinking? Where is my thinking? Walk us through it. All right. Well, here's what I thought. I thought that it was a bit at all weddings that during the reception, they pass a microphone around. And if anybody wants to say something to the bride and groom, they take the mic and they say something.
We did it, and I've done it at weddings before where the DJ gives the mic and starts letting people pass it around. We did that at your 40th surprise party. That was a true story, too. Right. But I've been, well, every wedding that I've been to has, and I've only been to like four. I've only been to four weddings in my life. But at the four weddings I've been to at the reception, they go. Hey, we're going to give the microphone. And if anybody wants to say anything, we're going to pass this around. And people are shy. Well, I won't be shy. I have really, you know, heartfelt feelings and stuff like that. And so that's what I was thinking. But maybe that is, I don't know. I don't know. I've been to, I'd say, at least 20 weddings. And I've actually never seen that done. Actually, the only time I've. Seen it done was at your party. Yeah. Yeah. Seen it on TV, like movies. Yeah, that's true. We did that at Eddie's wedding. No, we did. I didn't stay there the whole time. Remember, we left. That's right. Oh. Well, we had San Diego to go conquer. That is a true story. They did leave a little bit early. We left early. Yeah. They did it there. Okay. Well, maybe then I see where you're coming from. Well, but, you know, you...
It's not something that you want to plan out unless you've been asked to speak. Well, no, no, no. Here's what I wasn't doing. I wasn't going, well, obviously I'm going to be, you know, speaker in arms. I'm going to be, you know. Michael Scott. You know. Yeah. What do you call it? Creating this speech that I'm going to give. Yeah, the professional orator. Right. No, I thought that the deal is. That they pass a microphone around, you're supposed to say something. Well. Well, you don't have to, but people that aren't shy don't. But shouldn't you wait to see if that is going to happen? I didn't know. You're planning ahead. I didn't know that it doesn't happen. Right. Because my experience has only been that it does. And so I didn't know it didn't happen. My wife knew. Because she looked at me like I was from outer space. You know, and she said, I don't remember what she said. I don't remember. You're crazy. She didn't say anything. You're crazy. I guarantee you I will not say a word if that micro... Well, it won't be because you don't... No. Well, they don't know if they're going to do it yet, right?
No, we want to get, like, my favorite part of the wedding is the dancing, but not the planned out dance where you're in the middle where everyone's watching. It's where everyone goes out and dance. So we're going to get to the dancing portion. When will the boss dance be? The boss? Yeah, the boss dance. You know, where you're supposed to, the traditional. Oh, I thought you meant Bruce Springsteen. No, the traditional dance with your boss dance. That will not be happening. I hate to break it to you. Actually, I'll be direct and break it to you. That's not going to happen. I would not. My wife and I won't dance. Yeah. I'm not a dancer. I'll probably do two slow dances. One, the first dance with hubby. And two, the dance with my father. Yeah. The uncomfortable dance. Yeah, both of them will be uncomfortable. With your father. In the back of your father's mind, he knows that you're up to funny business that night. And he thinks about it. Woods says that. And no, he doesn't. Yes. He knows it's been funny. He does. It's a funny farm over there. I don't think that's the case. Woods is, like, convinced of that? I don't think so. You're crazy. Am I? I'm thinking this is my daughter going on to a big part of her life. Yeah. It's real good. Oh, wow. I think he'll breathe a sigh of relief. Like, ah, man. Thank goodness. These two are hitched. We did it. These two are hitched. Well, let me.
actually go down this road with you, what did you plan out? Did you plan out something funny or heartfelt? Is it on index cards or did you type it out? Let me tell you, as soon as she gave me the look, it was like, you know, that came to a screeching halt. Any thought of such, you know, buffoonery? What were you leaning towards? Heartfelt. Heartfelt. Heartfelt? Yeah. You weren't going to be a funny guy? No. I prefer that. I think if I have to ask myself, well, what would you be better at? Being funny or being heartfelt? Right. I think I would be better at being heartfelt. Right. You should do two versions, and then we should shoot it and put it on YouTube. You're such a jerk. No, we should just shoot it for her. So mean. I mean, she could have that to hold on to for the rest of her life. It's true. Two versions. We should do it on YouTube. Yeah, post it. And then post it, and then we'll vote and see which one's the best. We'll put you in your suit. We'll get you in your suit. Get you in your suit. And we'll give you a mic and let you roll. I will, instead of hiring a videographer, I'll have Jay go around and be like, hey. Oh, I am in. What do you want to say to the bride and groom? She's not a virgin, by the way. Hey, y'all know she's already made sex to him? Keep that in mind when you give her words of wisdom. You're grandma and grandpa, aren't you? Oh, man, I see where she gets her looks. How you doing? How you doing? What's your name, Ethel?
Can I put this grape in your cleavage? Kendall, do you mind if I do that? Hey, when's it time to do shots through the grandparents? Hey, a little bit. How old is your cousin? Hey, old lady. Do you want to do a shot out of my belly button? Right, me and you. I shaved it. Tequila. I waxed it. I waxed it. I got to know before I go any further, do you have a fake hip? It'll change the way I do things. Don't hurt you. Yeah, I have two different sutras. So I need to know if you got a hip or no. I'm cool either way. I just need to know. I just need to know basis. Doctor needs to file. You delight me, Mike. Yeah, it's delightful. Fine, I will just sit there and mind my own. Freaking business. You take in... That is not true. You take in what's happening around you. Yes. And if the moment strikes and the mic is in your face, you do what Mark tells you to do. I thought there was a bunch of stuff that...
happened at every single wedding. We went to our girl's wedding, and there was no passing of the mic. There was. No, I don't think there was. There was a lot of people that got up to say something. Bridesmaids and groomsmen said some stuff. Oh, I remember people saying that microphone got passed out in that audience. I don't remember, like, Todd's friends from Pennsylvania being like, hey, dude, remember, you know, like. Identical Pennsylvania. Yeah, identical Pennsylvania, but. You know, I don't remember, like, I remember the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. Sometimes it's done just for the camera. Not everybody's hearing it, but they pass around, so each person says it, and it's all just for the camera. So then you go back and watch it later. Which is what Jay's job will be. Yeah. All I know is that in my tiny brain, I associated receptions with friends saying stuff. Speeches. Not speeches, but saying stuff. Words. I get so antsy when like the speeches. I'm like, yeah, sure, sure, sure. No, no, no. When I'm at a wedding. Yeah. I like to hear some of it, but I think short and sweet. I was at a wedding once for a family member and his groomsman. Do you want to know what his groomsman speech was? What? I wonder if I should say his name. Yeah, well, it's my cousin's husband. The groomsman gets up and he goes, it's a true story. Clay.
Is a good man. That's it? That's all. Wow. And that is a true story. And he just nodded. And people were like, this is the best man. Oh, my God. Clay, he's a good man. Did anyone go? Dude, I was like this. It was a few words. Can anybody laugh? He's a good man. My brother and I did. Oh, my gosh. What did Clay think? Didn't care. He's of the same ilk. Yeah. So it was like, cool, cool. What's worse, though? Guy that rambles on or Clay is a good man? Guy didn't say enough. Maybe meet in the middle of that. Maybe five to seven sentences and you're good to go. Clay is a good man. I would prefer Clay is a good man rather than, and then that one time, Clay, well, we remember. Yeah, you remember. Uncle John remembers, right? Wait, was it Uncle John or? All right, well, you got to hear this. I learned my lesson. Lesson served. Lesson learned. All right. Tiger Woods doesn't like when people ask him questions about his former coach. Hank Haney. Hank Haney. Hank Haney put out a book and he said in the book that Tiger wanted to be a Navy SEAL at one point. Right. Pretty innocuous. Yeah, they wanted to. And so this reporter wanted to ask Tiger about that.
Specifically, in regards to being a Navy SEAL, considering being a Navy SEAL during the height of your career, was that something you were considering? I've already talked about everything. In the book, yes, I've already commented on everything, Alex. I must have missed you answering that question. Well, I've already commented on the book. Is that in the book? Is it in the book? Okay, let's move on, Brian. You're a beauty, you know that? Well, I mean, that's a fair question, right? You guys are suggesting that there's something wrong with the excerpts in the book. I'm just trying to find out if that's true or not. I don't know. Brian, have a good day. Is it in the book? Is it in the book? Yes. Is it in the book? Well, yes. I don't know. I don't want to talk about the book. Why? I don't want to talk about it. Well, it's not... Get out of my... It isn't a bad... Get out of my... It's not a bad question. Says you. You know, you're a real beauty. You know that? You're a real beauty. You're a real beauty. What's wrong with him? What is wrong with him? He's a douchebag. He's always been a douchebag. I've seen him for years. I saw him live play and curse and scream and break his putter in front of a little kid and dropping GDs. He's a douche. He's always been a douche. He's so uptight. Gosh. He's a douche. How'd he get so uptight? I think because of entitlement, if you grow up and you've got a silver spoon and that kind of thing. Watch him in a tournament for the entire tournament. All four days. You will catch him.
Hit a ball and go, Ah, GD! Get the GD cameras out of my face. He's a douche. He says things like that? Absolutely. He's a douchebag. But he had such a Krispy Kreme. What's a Krispy Kreme image? What is a Krispy Kreme image? You know what a Krispy Kreme is. What is a Krispy Kreme image? He said squeaky clean. You said Krispy Kreme. Let's be clear. Even if he said Krispy Kreme or Kreme. He was so squeaky clean. I have a Krispy Kreme image. Yeah, you do. He has a Krispy Kreme image. That dude? Squeaky clean. Squeaky clean. Nothing like it. There's just... Turn that music off, Mike. I don't want to hear it. There's nothing like Krispy Kreme. Is it in the book? Is it in the book? Guns N' Roses is going to be in SoCal. Where and when? And when can you get tickets? I'll tell you. And then Jay's going to do the iPod sing-along. Oh, yeah. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now.
570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Over 200,000 customers are having a better hair day because of Ovation Cell Therapy. I had a brush full of hair every day. Since I started using Ovation, my hair is fuller and it's not falling out in the shower or the brush. Ovation also worked for my husband with his breakage. Thanks for a wonderful product. I'm a 40-year-old woman with extremely fine hair, and I've been coloring it for over 25 years. Using Ovation has decreased my hair loss and increased the fullness of my hair. I plan on using this product for the rest of my life. Ovation works great. After my baby was born, my hair was falling out and breaking off like crazy. Now my hair looks and feels better and is growing faster than it ever has. Thanks, Ovation. For thicker, stronger, and longer hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory discount. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM94.9 at checkout for your special discount. OvationHair.com. Hey, I want to let you know that Jerome's is doing it for you. Get down to Jerome's, and what you're going to find is that they have something called Jerry's Price.
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This report brought to you by Kohl's Department Store this weekend. Everything is on sale at Kohl's. Plus, you can shop power hour specials Friday 3 to 11 and Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. Everything's on sale at Kohl's this Friday through Sunday. Kohl's, expect great things. Well, a couple accidents going on here on the freeway right now. Just starting to build. As you travel over here to Julian Avenue and Channel Road, there's no injuries, but you've got a nice buildup behind it. Lots of slowing. Swinging over a hit and run on Riverford Road at the 67 northbound. And then some delays on the 52 westbound. That ramp from the 125, that's 24 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by Smile Brands. Need to see a dentist today? Have an emergency or a toothache? Bright Now Dental. They've got same-day emergency appointments and 56 convenient locations in Southern California. Call 888-BRIGHT-NOW. They're for teeth. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning being brought to you today by Islands Restaurants. This morning, looking at a passing cold front out there, so it is a mess. Strong west-northwesterly winds have flown all night long, chopping up the surf at all areas, but picking up the size. Running in the waist chest, shoulder-high zone, larger sets out there probably. Really hard to tell, though, and it's just broken up and choppy and windy.
All spots, again, looking poor right now, and it's going to take a fair bit of cleaning up before it'll be worthwhile trying to paddle out today. Could happen, but not this morning. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The Authentic Surf Report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like, gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I have like a self-conscious 16-year-old sophomore that's real chubby. Lauren. I'm starting to feel guilty about it, though, because I'm wondering if I've disrupted the ecosystem at the lake. And Jay. Just because I like to be outdoors, you guys like to make fun of me. On FM 94.9. Look at you.
Rick rolling everywhere. Yeah, you just got Rick rolled. Okay. So Guns N' Roses will be in Southern California. They're going to be in Los Angeles. Hollywood Palladium. How about that? Wow. All the way in. You like it, right? I love it. It sets up perfectly for a next weekend trip, my friend. Yeah? Yeah. Hollywood Palladium, March 9th. We'll turn on March 11th. House of Blues, West Hollywood, March 12th. Yep. Pretty nice, dude. I'm thinking about it, man. Trying to get tickets. Woods, when do they go on sale? 10 a.m. today. Oh, wow. So you buy them online? Yeah, I'm going to have to buy these SOBs. I wonder if our friends at the House of Blues San Diego can do anything to help you. See, I can't go to... I looked because I can't go to the HOB show because it's on like a Wednesday. The only weekend show is next Friday night, Palladium in Hollywood. If anybody buys four tickets and wants to sell two, call your boy. If you would like...
If you've never heard it before, we do this. A little thing with Jay called the iPod sing-along that I think you will enjoy a lot. Jay wears your butts and he sings along to his iPod and favorite cat here in somebody's... He was nervous. The iPod sing-along. The iPod sing-along. The iPod sing-along. Mikey Shaw. So what we do is... We put a pair of headphones on Jay and we have him play a song. Jay doesn't know what song he's going to get. And then he hands the lyrics over to Jay and Jay has to sing the song on the spot.
Last time we did this. Last time we did at House of Blues, didn't we? I said, this is the last time we did this. We did it at the House of Blues, and he was screaming so loud. Oh, my gosh. It was ear piercing. I can't hear him. He cranks it up too loud. It was like curling up inside of Slash's amplifier to take a nap. It was so loud. I can't hear myself, so I don't know. All right. Are we ready? I think we're ready. All right. You ready? Here we go. Ready? Here we go. Hold on. Here we go. Hey, I was born. Uh-oh. The nurses all gathered round to gaze at the white window, at the joy they had found. The head does spoke up and said, leave this one alone. You can tell right away, ha-ha, I was bad to the bone. Isolate. Bad to the bone. Uh-oh. Bad to the bone. Uh-oh. Bad to the bone. Isolate.
His wagging finger is the best part about that bit. I wish people could see it. Well, they can because Nicole is videotaping this right now and will post it on our Facebook fan page so that everyone can see what Jay looks like when he's doing the iPod sing-along. All right, are you ready for your next song? Lag's reading it. He just saw it. No, he didn't. He just was looking over at your paper. You ready? Here we go. Oh, no. Here we go. Yo, VP, let's kick this. What's a VP? Oh, gosh. Oh, he's doing a dance. He's sprinkling. Ice, ice, baby. Stop.
Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention. Something grabs hold of me tightly. Daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I glow. To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal. Light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle. Wow. Keep going. Keep going. Like a poisonous restroom. Deadly. When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony. Love it. Believe it. You better gain weight. You better hit the bulls that the kid don't play. If there's a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the beats where my BJ revolves in. What's a BJ? Banilla Ice Ice Baby. Banilla Ice Baby. Banilla Ice Baby. Thank you. Best one ever? Best one ever. Best one ever. Best one ever. Every week. Gosh darn it. Did you see him point to his wiener at that one line? He's like, he's a creep. He said, grab a hold of me tightly. Yes. Grab a hold of me tightly. Check out my beats while the BJ revolves it. I think you know what I'm saying.
Oh, my God. I have tears. That guy's fantastic. He's fantastic. That takes the light out of you. I said it in a poop. I swear he said that at one point. All right, so we got an exclusive for you because the Today Show is doing their exclusive with Lindsay, and we will give it to you exclusively. In front of our eyes, a talented actress with a very promising career. But in recent years, it's been her numerous rehab stints and run-ins with the law that have kept her name in the headlines. Well, now Lindsay says she is clean and sober and ready to make a comeback, starting with a hosting gig on Saturday night. Now, just so you know, the new look for Lindsay is long. It looks like a wig. It does look like a wig. She's got long platinum blonde hair and bangs. So you can get a vision. I was looking to see when the last time we sat down was 2006. You were 19 years old. You were here to promote a couple of movies. When you think back to that time, Lindsay, what goes through your mind?
I was non-stop working back then. It was really fun, but it was a whirlwind. I've been very quiet since then, haven't I? Yeah, I haven't heard a thing about you. I've been very quiet. What have you been up to? You're a little older. I don't want to say you're old because you're only 25 years old, although a lot has happened. I would imagine you're wiser as well. Yes, very much so. How are you wiser? I think it's just, you know, the process of learning and going through certain experiences. And I've certainly seen a lot. And I've grown. I've just kind of... You know, it'd be easy if she just said it. Just goes, well, I've been a train wreck and now it's better. In a way that I'm happy and I can do the things that I want to do. Is this recent? This ability to kind of embrace... It's uncomfortable. So you're just... It has to be recent, right? Right. Life in that way? Yeah, I mean, I think it's this last kind of whirlwind of experiences that I've gone through this past year and a half. I think it's kind of, I've kind of just taken a step back and been like, I'm not doing what I love to do. And I need to find a way to kind of find that balance again. When you say you weren't doing what you love to do, do you feel a little bit like you cheated yourself out of that? Yeah, to some extent. No, nobody will hire her.
That's what she means. Can't get hired in Hollywood. Yeah, definitely. I think that I like being on set. I like making films. I like doing this kind of stuff and having positive things to talk about. And I kind of lost sight of that. There was a time when we talked last time where I think you didn't want to talk about a lot of things. Because I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, there was a little denial going on. Definitely. And I think it's also... It's a scary thing to have to kind of express to people. I wasn't as comfortable with myself then. And yeah, definitely though, I think it was a fear factor that I had about what was really going on. That's an interesting take on denial, by the way. I wasn't as comfortable with myself at the time. It's an interesting take on denial. Yeah. Get that wake up call. I've talked to so many people over the years who've gone through similar situations. No situation is identical to what you've been through. And almost all of them, Lindsay told me at one point they had to make major changes in their life to get to this better place. What are some of the changes you've made? I think some of the main things are just the people I surround myself with. Tell me about that. I think that.
It gets very lonely in this industry because you're constantly with people and then you're alone. So it's kind of, I just allowed a lot of people to be around me at all times. And I don't think that they were necessarily there for the right reasons. And I wasn't concerned with that. I think I was being a bit ignorant towards the fact that maybe I should not go out all the time. Maybe I should rest. Maybe I should, you know, start to grow up and take care of myself. Who do you trust now? I mean, you have to have somebody in your life that you can lean on, that you can confide in, that you can trust. Who do you trust? I trust my family, my mom, my sister, and my brothers. I trust, I have a really great group of people that I work with now. And I think that's also been... You know what must have been weird? The process of weeding out the hangers-ons. Yeah, people are talking. who are hearing now that, for example, you're going to be hosting Saturday Night Live this week, and I see you smile at that, that this is some kind of a comeback, a comeback at 25. How do you view it? That's crazy. That is crazy. Well, I'd rather it be now and not have to deal with it, go through it later. Do you view it that way, though? Yeah, I don't, I mean, it'd be, it's not that I don't, I regret the choices that I've made, but I'm grateful for...
where I am today because of them. Because I've seen, I don't need to see any more negative stuff. I don't need to put myself in those places anymore. Good question, guys. Is Lindsay Lohan out of the woods? No. Is she going to get in trouble again? I don't know. She probably will because people will be looking for it, too. You know, she'll get a littering ticket, and it's like, eh, there's Lindsay again. She's screwing up again. Yeah. Will she do the drugs and alcohol stuff? Eventually. Yeah. You do think so? Hard to say. I bet she will. I mean, she seems like she has her head on her shoulders, but I mean, she's also an actress, so she could be lying. She's so young. She's also 25. That's the deal. She's so young. She's only 25 years old, and it's hard to do, you know, 41 years old, let alone 25. It took me until I was 31 years old to realize that I had any kind of issue with alcohol. It takes people a long time. Tell you what, though.
She looks like she got some work on her face. She does. She looks like she's about 40. Well, what kind of work? It looks like she got like almost like cheek implants. That's what I was going to say. It's her cheeks are full and her lips are really full. I didn't know if it was her hairstyle, though. It was like accentuating. Yeah, I know. Well, no, some. What's accentuate? I hate to say it if this were the case. Some medications will make your face kind of swell. But. Sausage. No. When I was on the pill. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Wait, was it from the sponge or the pill that made that happen? He's on the rhythm method now. Oh, gosh. Oh, Jesus. That was comfortable. What do you got there, Mike? Trying to turn off his microphone. Oh, does it work? No, I can't. I can't do it. She looked so much better when she was younger with red hair. She did. She looked so healthy. Let me read you this email. Mikey shared. I have a shared laundry room with about six apartments. Someone keeps taking my clothes out mid cycle or before they are dry and leaving them on top of the. I don't always go there right when they're done. But this last time could have been more than 30 minutes from the time I put them in to when I went to check on them. There they were heaped up wet again.
Heads are going to roll. Yeah, heads are going to roll. I want to take scissors to this person's clothes that were in my machine. This is what I would like to ask. This is what I want to beg for. If you are Taker Outer Guy, I beg you to call. I just want to interview you. I want to interview Taker Outer Guy. Taker Outer Guy will get you. I dumped a... Entire can of Copenhagen Long Cut into Take Her Outer Guy's wash. No, dryer. Are you serious? I'm the monster? It's happened. It happened over and over and over in college. And I took an entire can and I went, so did you hear anything about it? Nope. You didn't hear anything. I lived in a high rise building and we had a shared laundry room at the end of our floor. And the guy would do it to me all the time. I think it was, you know, whoever got me that day got got with some Copenhagen Long Cut in their dryer. Oh. So all their clothes were dried with the smell and the grains of Copenhagen Long Cut. Oh, my gosh. Because I'll get you. I won't get you. I'll get you. You'll just take it. I won't like you, but I won't get you. I think I'll leave passive-aggressive notes. What would you put? I would put something like...
Well, I guess your clothes were more important than mine. I'll be sure to handle them with care if I ever find yours in the machine. Good thing these were delicates and couldn't be dry. Yes, exactly. We're going to be talking to M1 Sizzle from San Diego, who apparently, well, might be Taker Outer Guy. Are you Taker Outer Guy? Yes, I am definitely a Taker Outer Guy. I am pleased to interview you, sir. Welcome to the Mikey Show. No problem. It actually almost happened the other day. I went to start my load, and there was two washers, or two jars already in the load, done. I put mine in the washer. I'm like, okay, they're done. Come back half hour later for my clothes, and I'm about to take their clothes out because they've been there since my clothes just started. Now, I have a question. I have a question. Have you ever, we're talking to, if you're just tuning in, we're talking to Taker Outer Guy. He is the guy at the laundromat that takes out people's clothes from the dryer and puts his own in. So, Taker Outer Guy, have you ever Taker Outered some wet stuff? No, never at the washer, only at the dryer. What I'm saying is, have you ever taken damp clothing out of a dryer?
No, the only reason I've ever taken any clothes out of the dryer is only because they've been sitting there. I've actually sat there waiting for my clothes to be dry. Their dryer is sitting there, done. All right, pause one moment. Pause one moment, please. I must go to the jury. Mm-hmm. L-O-B, what say you? Is that okay? Yeah, I've done it. Okay. Woods? Yes, it's okay. Jay? 100%. Yeah, I think it's okay, too. I don't think what you did was wrong, taker-outer guy. You're taker-outer guy, but you're... It was justified. It was not, you know. Listen. You gave them a grace period. Yeah. The grace period expired. Their clothes were dry. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. You're exonerated. You're okay. Thank you. Thank you. Carry on. You've done it. Carry on. Now, if take her out her guy is listening and is willing. Okay. I'll be more specific. Damp take her out her guy. Yes. Damp take her out her guy. What about take her out her guy or girl who then folds? I got no beef with that. If my comeback and my stuff's folded and dry, I love you. Lauren, you would be upset with somebody that folded your clothes? Not upset with them. Very curious as to what is wrong with that person. Well, they're trying to be polite. They knew they were doing something that was a little over the line, but they wanted to show you through their behavior that they were trying to be cognizant of your...
Displeasure. I've folded people's towels that have done that before. If I've had to take them out, I'm like, nobody wants, like, all wrinkled, weird. So I've done that. When my underwear is, like, folded with one flap over, then the other flap, and you have, like, a sandwich. Wow. Underwear sandwich? Who is handling that? Somebody was handling your underwear. Yes. My panties. Your panties. Panties. Woods, somebody was handling her panties. Woods hates that word. I hate that word. With like perfect creases. Wow. I'm like, what goes on? Are you that OCD that you can't see a pile of clothes sit there? And I'm talking like no more than like five minutes. Like a ninja comes in, folds the clothes. Panty ninja. Panty ninja. Yeah. A panty ninja. Worst kind. Now. The best kind. That's true. Now we. are not having phones blowing up. And I think the reason is because people know that we, you know, unless we're going to mask their voice behind some sort of voice enhancer, they just can't bring themselves to do it. But gosh, do I want to hear from them? Oh my goodness. You know, what is going through your mind when you're taking somebody's damp clothes out of the dryer? Even worse, somebody stole our dog beds. We had taken the covers off the dog beds.
Put them in there. Kim left and they came back and they were just gone. A couple sweatshirts went missing in college. What are you going to do with my dog beds? My parents had an entire bedspread stolen from a laundromat. Unbelievable. If you go to the laundromat, you kind of want to sit and be the armed guard at your clothes. If you have a shared apartment, one is different. Listen, you got a laundromat where it's, you know, especially if you got a laundromat and you're in a bad neighborhood, take a book. Yeah, take a book. I used to take a book. It's the worst. I'd sit in there and I'd have to read. They'd have chairs in there. Yeah. This is M1 Shanna from Escondido. Are you there? Yes. Hi. You are folder taker outer. Yes. I've done that. So you will fold people's clothes. I think it's very rude when I come back and my clothes are out, whether they're wet or dry and they're just sitting there in the pile. And so I know that I'm offended when that happens to me. And so I didn't want to be the offender. And so I figured, like you said, if they were folded, at least it's a little less of a...
Hey, I like it. Way to be different. I think it's not only not offensive. I think you just did that person a solid. Yeah. If I knew for a fact that she was going to be behind me doing laundry every day, I would purposely leave my stuff in there so that she would fold it for me. We finally got him. Oh, no way. We finally got. It took a while. But we do have M1 Rich from Penasquitos. And you are damp, taker, outer guy. Rich. Hey, what's up? So you are damp taker-outer guy? Have been on one occasion. Here's the situation. Uh-huh. Went to go do laundry in the morning, real early. Better be good. Better be good, pal. First person there, somebody had done their wash, left it in the washing machine overnight. I'm taking it out. 100%. 100%. 100%. Yeah. Thank you. You do, yeah, you get a round of applause. Yeah, you do. I have actually paid for someone's drying on that occasion. Yes. Are you serious? That's a good call. Yeah. Yeah.
That's nice. Old L.O.B.'s panties. Get in line. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that. You're a rich man. Why are you all red, L.O.B.? I'm not. Are you? Woods handed me a piece of paper this morning, and I looked at the first one, and I go, I am in. When we come back, I'm going to give you ridiculous sequels. that thankfully didn't get made. Here's the most amazing part about it. The directors of the first ones, they were in on it. Oh, no. A lot of times. I got to give you the first one. Just say it. I got to give you a taste. You can't. I got to give you a taste. It's so good. All right, I'm going to make you wait. Yeah, that one. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple.
FM 94.9. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. And tonight is the night for Dave and Buster's Thursday night happy hour with your OPW, your old pal, Woodsy. I will be there with the FM 94.9 promotion staff. We're going to be handing out prizes. Listen to what I've got. This is what I got for you tonight. I've got tickets to see the Ting Tings. I've got tickets to see Portugal the man. I've got tickets to see Rise Against. Dave & Buster's is located at 2931 Camino Del Rio North. It's right off the 8. It's here in Mission Valley. And we are going to be there from 5 to 7. We're going to be shooting hoops, throwing footballs, having some appetizers. You know, come in there. They have half-price selected appetizer specials. There are also drink specials. And come hang out with your OPW. It's a lot of fun, man. We have a ball in there every Thursday night from 5 to 7. Dave & Buster's, 2931 Camino Del Rio North. Off the 8 from 5 to 7, Dave and Buster's Eat, Drink, Play. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. But no, I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons.
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Well, let's start you off over here on the 52 westbound. The ramp from the 125, very slow right now, 22 miles an hour. On the 805 southbound before Market Street, there's a stalled vehicle. And as you come over here onto the, well, let's see, it's smack dab on the 5 northbound before a mile of cars away. Looks like it is a car that's sitting there in the middle of the freeway. So just be careful as you approach. A lot of slowing on the 5 northbound. Harbor Drive, 24th Street, we're in the team. right now. This report also brought to you by Constant Contact. Are you a small business owner looking to be successful on social media? Try social campaigns from Constant Contact. It's a new tool from the company that brought you email marketing. Visit ConstantContact.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Gift. And J. I stole from the Rolling Stones dressing room. I got this little coffin thing. I stole it from that on FM 94.9. Well, as our city council sits there and mulls over whether or not we're going to get a stadium, other parts of the country we can just watch and see what toys the other cities get to have. Yeah, we can salivate over the Minnesota Vikings new stadium. A tentative deal was reached.
yesterday to build them a new stadium which is near the Metrodome in downtown Minneapolis. That's right. Minneapolis. That's right. Minneapolis. $975 million stadium. And I showed my friend, Michael Esparza, a picture of this thing. Beautiful. It's gorgeous, man. Absolutely gorgeous. It's a revolutionary-looking stadium, too, because it's like... a new redesign it doesn't look like a regular stadium it's shaped differently it looks so cool a couple months ago i told you about a running back that had transferred to san diego state his name is dylan baxter and he came from usc very highly touted prospect his time his tenure with the aztecs is now over uh just a short six eight weeks after he became an aztec uh aztecs coach rocky long said look Guy's been in some trouble. He was in trouble at USC. He's in trouble now. He's off the team. Just became a father. He's 20 years old. He's called himself before. Hey, I'm a knucklehead. I've made some mistakes. I'm getting my life together. Well, apparently he's done something to get him kicked off of his second team in about eight weeks. Dylan Baxter, no longer an Aztec. Stinks. Yep. So, you like John Legend? No. How about you, LLB? I don't. I do. I love him.
Well, it's been Bruce Springsteen week on Jimmy Fallon. So these artists that he has on, they do their version of a Springsteen song. They're not trying to imitate Springsteen. They're trying to do their take on a Springsteen song. Yeah, I should clarify. I don't not like him. I just don't know a lot of his stuff. It's better than the original. I don't think so. It's better than the original. Woodsy doesn't like Springsteen. No, I'm not a big boss guy. It's a combination of my first two loves. Black man and the boss. Black man and the boss. There you go. So these are the sequels that did not happen, and we're pretty glad they didn't happen. If they had happened, you'd have been upset. This first one. So I see this first one. I go, you've got to be kidding me. It's all you needed. It's all you needed. They had planned on doing a sequel to the movie Seven called Eight. Oh, gosh.
And the eight deadly sins doesn't exist. Right. Well, listen to this. David Fincher got the script, and he said it didn't make sense, so he didn't want to be involved in it. This is an example of a director that said no, but it would have starred Morgan Freeman as the same character from the first movie, only this time he has psychic powers. You know, psychic powers he didn't have in the original. He just got them. So they thought about making a sequel to Seven called Eight. How about this one? And this one, the director was in on. Steven Spielberg actually wrote an outline for the movie E.T. 2, Nocturnal Fears. In this one, aliens come to Earth and they look just like E.T. except they're albino and evil. It turns out they hate the brown-skinned aliens.
And they've come to Earth looking for E.T., whose real name is revealed to be Zrek. I would have been in on that. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't have been more out. That's the stupidest. It's like the gremlins and gizmo. Yeah. Good and bad. Listen, E.T. was no freaking gremlin. No. I would have been in on it. Well, ultimately. And ultimately, Steven Spielberg decided not to do it because he didn't want to tarnish the memory of the original. Well, and he stopped doing peyote. Yes. And he didn't want to come off as a racist. Right. That is a true story, too. Yeah, we're going to get these albinos down and they're going to take over all the brown skin ones. That's a good idea. The next one that I'm going to mention, it was a done deal. In fact, the only reason it didn't happen was because of 9-11. But you were supposed to see. Forrest Gump 2. Gump and Company. Zemeckis, in. Tom Hanks, in. No way. Yeah, they were going to do it. The plan was to do it. Here's what it would have been. It would have been based on the book of the same name, apparently, just like the first one was. Tom Hanks in it, accidentally taking part in various historical events, like...
He was going to dance with Princess Diana. He was going to help bring down the Berlin Wall. And he was going to end up in the backseat of OJ's Bronco. And it was a done deal. The end of the movie, Forrest Gump is supposed to be there at the Oklahoma City bombing. Then 9-11 happened. Wow. And they were like, we can't do it. Can't do it. Can't do it. Thank God. But that movie, you guys, was being made. I think it would have been good. It was a done deal. Yeah, I kind of think it would have been good. If Hanks was in on it, it was probably good. I'm out on it because I'm instantly out when I hear Forrest Gump 2. I mean, that's it. That's it. Yeah. I mean, just the idea of it is just... Sequels are hard to pull off, man. Gump and Company sounds good. Yeah. The next two are real. Beetlejuice 2, Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian. True story. No, no, no, no. And Mahalo. And Casablanca 2, Brazzaville. True stories. Well, Weekend at Bernie's 2 was a big hit. Oh, huge hit. So maybe Beetlejuice in Hawaii would have worked. Last one. This one, by the way, director Ridley Scott was in on. Said, yeah, I'll do it. So did Russell Crowe. Don't say it. Oh, yeah. It can't be what I'm thinking of. Oh, it is. It can't be. Gladiator 2. It couldn't be.
He died. I know. He died. But they said, look, they go, look, that is an easy thing to overcome. All we'll have to do is write a script where Maximus gets restored to life as an immortal by the Roman gods. Oh, that old trick. So he didn't really die. What are you guys more in on, sequels or prequels? Prequels. Love the prequel. Prequels can be pulled off. Like, they could have done leading up to that point. Oh, dude, absolutely. I have a new name for Gump. What? Gump Paw. They do it now, and he's the Gump Paw. Like Grandpa. You guys get it? How long? Gump Paw. Gump Paw, because it sounds like Grandpa. He's older now. And it sounds just like Grandpa, except, you know, it doesn't sound like Grandpa. It's the kids of Gump. That was like four movies ago. Take me a little bit. Took you that long to come up with that? I got a new one for seven. What? And after eight, they could do nine. What about... Catchy. Nine. And then... Prequel. Six. Six. You just blew my mind. You know what, though? You should call it sex. Because it sounds like six. But it'll be about... It'll be about sex. Prostitution. Yeah. And serial killers. What? Ooh. Uh...
There's a new movie coming out. There's a prequel coming out. Prequel coming out to Alien called Prometheus. I hope I'm saying it right. I think it's Prometheus. Prometheus? Yeah. Have you seen it, Jay? I have not. The trailer? No. Ridley Scott, the guy that did Alien. Have you ever seen Alien? Oh, my gosh. Scariest movie ever. I never saw it. You are a monster. There was a lot of those back then I didn't see. Didn't see Mad Max. Didn't see Alien. Didn't see any of that stuff. No. Predator was fantastic as well. I haven't seen Predator. Have you seen Aliens? No. Those were all great. I didn't think so. I only liked one. The first one, Alien. I can't believe you haven't seen it, Woods. It'll scare you so bad. That's what I heard. That's maybe why I didn't see it, but I watched The Shining when I was little. It's a different kind of scare. Yeah, it's terrifying. I've never liked sci-fi, my friend, ever. And I mean 12-year-old Woods was like, oh God, I'm out. Can I tell you something that may make you in on it? Sure, you try. I'll try. Okay. There's a scene in Alien where the alien pops out. Yeah, the stomach. I've seen that clip. You've seen that clip? Yes. Okay, here's what may bring you back in to maybe wanting to see it. Ridley Scott didn't tell the actors that was going to happen. Oh, no way.
All it does for me is enhance that scene that I've already seen before. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Which they did in Spaceballs as well. And they did in Pretty Woman. So when the thing bursts out of his stomach. They didn't know. They didn't know. And so he captures their reaction. Genuine. Genuine reaction. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's cool. Next time I see that scene, which they show in movies, I'll be like, hey, honey, did you know that Ridley Scott died? But I won't go watch the movie. S-O-B. It just does nothing for me. Unbelievable. It's such a good movie. I wish I could talk you into it. When I was a kid, I skipped a lot of those movies. Like Dune and Mad Max. I didn't watch any of those, man. Would you watch Prometheus now? No. You wouldn't even give it a chance? No. Come on. Let's see. Guy got his wallet stolen. 35 years later, after he loses it, he's working in somebody's attic. And he finds it. Pulls out the insulation. There it is. His wallet from 35 years ago. Interesting story, blah, blah, blah. But this reminded me of a story that I, we talked about these books that you, they're called the bathroom readers. There was a lawsuit that was fired, filed by a guy because he went over to his friend's house to remodel his bathroom. In the process of taking a sledgehammer to the wall, he uncovered a giant,
load of cash. Wow. While the guy that owned the house didn't give him any of the money. So he sued his friend. And he won. Which blew me away because it's not his house. Right. He found it. That's why he won. That's ridiculous. I mean, I agree. He found it. His buddy that owned the house would have never found it without him. He was instrumental in finding that load of cash. What Woods is saying? as crazy awful as it sounds, is true. Well, he should get a portion of it because he was hired to do something. No, no, no. He wasn't hired. He was doing it for his friend. Oh, okay. But it was a service he was performing that his friend asked him. So it's a verbal contract. Can you come over and remodel my, you know how to remodel bathrooms. Hey, I'll remodel your bathroom for you. Don't pay somebody. BAM. Puts a sledgehammer through the wall. There's a bunch of cash here. And the guy goes, oh my gosh, I'm rich.
Dude, thanks. It would have to be a different story if, in a fit of anger, he kicked the wall. Right. And then uncovered it. Different. He wouldn't be entitled to it. He was entitled to it because he found it. I agree with that. I do not. I agree with the judge's decision. What? Hey, don't yell at me. Yell at the judge. I didn't make the ruling, but I would have ruled the exact same way. So, if you had Jay come over and say he was going to, like, refinish your deck or something. And he found dough? Somehow he struck oil. Yeah. Yeah, that's his oil. Jay and I are filthy rich. No, the two of us. So the two of you. Oh, okay. So break it down for me. Let's say he finds 10 grand. Five grand's his, five grand's yours? Correct. Really? I'd expect 60-40. Dude, see, now then we have a problem. No, I was going to give you the 60. Oh, 60. Well, I'd give him 50-50. Wow. If it was my friend that uncovered something, in good faith, I'd give them half of it. In good faith. Absolutely. In good faith, that guy's getting a kiss. Yeah. A kiss? Couldn't he have just said, hey, I knew it was there. I didn't know you were going to bust into that area.
I just said, hey, that was mine. Yeah, I know. Oh, you found my stash of cash. Shoot, dude. That's weird. You found it. You sledgehammered too far. Oh, no, I did not mean for you to find that hidden in my bathroom. That's where I keep it. Joke is on you. Did you see my cash? You're on Ken's camera. A. Woods, the dog. Did you hear the story about the dog that got shot? Of course I did. Well, this is so sweet, man. The Viejas tribe donated $2,500 to take care of that sweet little... Saw that. He is so cute. Yeah. It was a sad story, but what they did is nice. $2,500 to take care of this dog that they're calling Chance. Chance, yep. Isn't that sweet? Little angel. Yeah. Death penalty for whoever shot him. They just shot him? Yeah, death penalty. You're deranged. Yeah, you're deranged. You're deranged. Death penalty. I don't know about death penalty. Castration? No. If you could take a pill, Woods, it would erase every painful memory forever. Would you? No. Would you, L.O.B.? No. Would you, Jay? No way. I would. Of course I would. Why would I want painful memories? Because it's what makes you who you are. You learn from your mistakes. You forget. I'll take another pill.
If you screw up again? So now you're going to forget that your grandfather, you know, everything about your grandfather? Oh, yeah, that'd be awesome. I don't have to go through that pain. What I don't know don't hurt me. Bro, what you look at his death as something hurtful, but you don't look at the time that you spent with him as something good. I'm good. That could possibly be disassociated altogether. How do I know? What am I missing? Woods, if I said to you right now, Woods, you don't know Helen? Helen, dude. Helen. And you're like. I said that to you right now. You don't know who Helen is. But Woods, you had the most passionate relationship with Helen. You're like, I don't know Helen. For the record, I'd never had a passionate relationship with any Helen. That is a true statement. It was Helena, I think. It was actually, it was Margaret Helen. It was. It was Enid. I wouldn't do it because, well, you're saying that. After the fact, yeah, you're not going to remember, right? You don't know. You're not going to remember. But I wouldn't put myself through that and forget anything that's painful that's ever happened to me. No. Because I would worry about the future. I don't want it. Get it out of here. I think it's what makes you who you are, though. That's exactly right. You might be a whole different person. Yeah. You might go into a situation and not take a certain chance or not do a certain thing because you don't remember what happened the last time you did it. It teaches you to be cautious. Yeah. Give me an example.
Me. Drinking and driving. Yeah, and it can teach you appreciation. Those were the worst days of my life when I kept getting in trouble. And if I didn't know about it now, I might do it today. Or a girl who keeps lying to you and you keep coming back to her. No. So then you take the pill and all of a sudden you've forgotten everything that you've learned. And she's a hoo-er. She's still a hoo-er. And you get hurt again. Yeah, you get hurt again. She's a hoo-er. A hoo-er. He's a hoo-er. Well, think about... A hoo-er? When somebody passes away, what do you immediately do? You go and tell the people that you love them. You hold them a little tighter. If you didn't have those bad things, you wouldn't appreciate the good things. The interesting thing is they're working on this pill right now. I just read about it. It's insane. It might actually be here. You might actually be able to do it. Even though the three of you are saying... I would never do it. I wouldn't do it. It's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yeah, that movie. They do it not with a pill, but they do that. It's crazy. Speaking of crazy, it was one under the strongest kind of tornado that exists in the world yesterday in the Midwest. 200 mile an hour winds. There was at least 12 people were killed by these things.
that got started yesterday because of the weather. Six people died because a house was lifted up off of its, like, came up. Oh, my gosh. And fell on them. And the National Weather Service, like I said, rated it as an EF4, one notch below the highest on the scale. One below the highest notch that you can even get. It's devastating the pictures, man. Yes. A lot of casualties. It was awful. I mentioned this earlier, but the Vatican yesterday did something kind of cool. They brought out a bunch of stuff that people hadn't seen in a long time. One of which was, well, not in a long time, ever. Letters from Michelangelo about building. St. Peter's Basilica. Dear Michelangelo, I am writing you in regard to the latest invoice that I received from you for the painting of St. Peter's Basilica. Now, as you know, I hired you on the recommendation of my nephew, Antonio, who said, and I quote, his work is so sick it will make your head spin. Now, I have to admit, your work is pretty tight.
However, it does not negate the fact that when you begin, we agree on a three-month time period. And here we are 12 months later, and the freaking thing is not done yet. Now, I don't know if your calculator works the same as mine, but it seems to me in the time that we have gone over, a baby could have been a conceive and a deliver already. If you really expect me to pay these overage fees, you are out of your freaking mind. In closing, I will just say we will not pay a freaking dime over the three months we agree on. And you can take your fancily drawn little invoice that you sent to us and put it where the sun don't shine. Regards, Devati. Wow. Devati. They're harsh. Tell you. They'll get you. Habits that you can form that will make you happier, I'm going to tell you what they are next. Is the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. What's up there, Snuggle Nugget? It's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight, you can see Family Wagon and the Brothers Grimm at El Dorado.
Bus Driver plays Soda Bar. And how fun does this show sound? The Squidling Brothers Circus Sideshow with Coffinbanger's Gorlesque and Zombie Surf Camp. That's tonight at the Shakedown Bar. Next Tuesday night, Vlogging Molly hit House of Blues. Next Thursday night, the silent comedy Dead Feather Moon and the Howls are at the Belly Up. And next Friday night, Lag Wagon plays House of Blues. Till to come, shows from Colts, Polyphonic Sprees, Sleigh Bells, Tiger Army, Transfer, The Hives, Delta Spirit, and Tune Yards with St. Vincent. So there you have it. Get out there and say some shots. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Hi, my name is Sophia. I'm a Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market customer, and I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market made with real customers. Not famous actors saving money. We pass on to you. I like the smaller feel of Fresh and Easy. I just wanted an alternative to the big chain stores. I wanted different types of food, more ready-made food. So I feel like this offers me a really good selection on fresh foods and prepared foods that are going to be easy for me and make my life easier. I didn't pack my lunch today. I just wanted to run in real quick and pick up something. I know exactly where to go. The food's already prepared for me. I can pick it up, still eat healthy, still eat relatively inexpensive, and have a great meal.
Thanks, fresh and easy. Thanks, Sophia. Now everyone can save on our new easy lunch combo. Choose from a variety of fresh salads, sushi or sandwiches. Add fruit, snack-sized chips, nuts or Greek yogurt and a drink of your choice. All for just $6 plus CRV. Grab your nutritious lunch combo today. See store for details. Valid through March 6, 2012. You'll learn our simple two-step system for flipping homes and get paid to learn the process. $40,000 per deal in your spare time without using any of your own money. San Diego is a perfect market for my system, and this week I'm holding a free two-hour educational workshop where you can learn how to make a lot of money flipping homes in your spare time. Interested candidates can get two free tickets to the workshop by calling 1-800-808-0379. Seating is extremely limited, so call right now to get your two free tickets at 1-800-808-0379. That's 1-800-808-0379.
The Ovation Nation just keeps growing. Over 200,000 customers have repaired dry, brittle, and damaged hair with Ovation Cell Therapy. I'm thrilled to report that Ovation does everything you said it would and more. I couldn't be happier with the results. My hair holds a curl all day. My hair is thicker and shinier than it's ever been, and it's growing. It really is a miraculous revolution. I'm a believer, and I'm telling anyone who will listen, Ovation is an amazing product. Ovation Cell Therapy can help repair the damage caused by harsh chemicals and heat styling and grow your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Ovation is safe and effective on all hair types, even for chemotherapy hair loss recovery. And it's easy to use. Just a simple cream rinse type application. Learn how your hair can become healthy again. Log on to OvationHair.com and when you enter FM 94.9, you'll receive a special introductory discount at checkout. That's OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 at checkout for your... special discount. The Ovation Nation just keeps growing. At Vons, we strive to help you live life to the fullest. And this week, it's time to stop and smell the rosé, or Cabernet, or Chardonnay, or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on any and all wines when you use your Vons Club card. Plus, get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more. Mix and match your favorites or wines you've always wanted to try, like the Crema Chardonnay and Clos de Bois Chardonnay.
If you're a wine enthusiast, savings this huge mean you're going to be even more enthusiastic. If you're a wine newbie, you'll want to try new ones. And if you're a wine snob, well, you can still be a wine snob, but for a lot less money. Save 30% on all wines, plus get an extra 10% off when you buy six bottles or more at Vons. They say that wine improves with age. The older you get, the better you like it. And with savings this big, you'll like it even more. Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% off or valid for about 750 milliliters or more. My robotic assistant Al and I have tested out the new Scion IQ. Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI Testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. Good news, California taxpayers. For a limited time, lumber liquidators will cover the cost of sales tax on everything during our big tax-free sale. Get laminate flooring for just 49 cents a square foot. Prefinished hardwood and bamboo from $179 a square foot. Beautiful Brazilian cherry, only $2.99 a square foot.
And the sales tax is on us at our big tax-free sale now through Monday. Visit LumberLiquidators.com for your local store. Offer valid in California locations only. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. This report, it's brought to you by Pro Nutrients, a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. We've got an accident over here on the 163 southbound at Park Boulevard, and it looks like everybody's over on the right shoulder right now. Another one over on the 163 right past Friars Road, and then you'll find some delay as you travel over here onto the five northbound. Back up from 9th Street Plaza Boulevard to the 54 East in the teens this morning. This report brought to you by Smile Brands. Need to see a dentist today? Have an emergency or a toothache? Bright Now Dental. They've got same-day emergency appointments and 56 convenient locations in Southern California. Call 888-BRIGHT-NOW. They're for teeth. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Grown-up stuff scares me. I hear words that really freak me out because I'm like...
Gosh, that sounds like a word my dad would use. Woods. I like to collect stuff. I collect sports stuff and all that, like memorabilia. Lauren. No way I'd rather freeze to death than be stuck on an elevator. You would? Yes. And Jay. I did have a big giant pickle barrel that I loved. On FM 94.9. So I'm going to throw a are you out there right away, and you can call on it if you are out there. A person that laughs so hard they couldn't stop at an inappropriate time. So you're laughing. You shouldn't be laughing. It's so inappropriate for you to be laughing, but you can't help it. There's nothing in your body that can stop you from the laughter. Call us right now at 570-1949. Before we went to that commercial break, I said that there were some things that you can do that will just overall make you a happier person. I'm going to run through it real quick for you, but I think that this can work for just about anybody listening. No matter who you are, this could make a difference in your life. Making lists apparently is really good for your happy state of being. Writing down goals, even daily goals. For whatever reason, research shows that it really does make a difference. So make lists. Plan your vacations two months in advance. Smart. It is smart.
And what they have found is that people that go on vacation, when they come back, they immediately, their happiness plummets. Oh, immediately. Immediately. Vacation depression. Yeah. I hate that feeling. But if you start planning your next one right away, it goes back up. Oh, yeah. That's a good call. Yeah. So boost your mood for a full eight weeks, they say. That's killer. So when you get back from vacation, as weird as it sounds, start planning your next career. That's good. Yeah. Taking naps. Not always an option unless you work at Ben and Jerry's who let you nap. Shut up. Yep. So does Google. So does Nike. They let you nap. They always let you nap. More research shows that 10 minutes of a nap every day or every other day can make you happier in general. I can't nap anymore, damn it. Taking one today. You do the nap thing? I don't usually, but I will. Once a week. Once a week I do. Exercising every single day makes you happier. First statement. Nike. Trying new hobbies. Good. Gives you a little goal-making thing. You don't like hobbies. I don't like adding. I'm 36. I'm not going to add any hobbies. I like to get better at the hobbies I already have. What hobbies do you currently have? Baseball, guitar, reading.
30 minutes of sunlight every day helps you to not get something called seasonal affective disorder. Sad. Who doesn't have that? Sad. Sad. Mikey, I've got sad. Seasonal affective disorder. I gotta go. I got sad. You got sad. I got sad. Everybody has that. Having sex. L-O-B. 2004 survey said they got 16,000 people together, surveyed them, and they found that when people went from having sex from one month to having sex once a week, their happiness level went up significantly. Can you get behind that? Yeah. Get in front of that. Oh, God. Underneath. So, Mike, what's it like if you have sex just once a year? Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. So the question is, are you out there? Person that laughed so hard that they couldn't stop at an inappropriate time. This is M1GO from PB. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What happened? So I'm in a Bible study and my buddy... Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. You were cutting out. You were cutting out. You were at a Bible study and what? And my friend Tommy's sitting next to me. Yeah.
And I sneezed into my hand. And, of course, I snotted in my hand. And my instinct reaction was to turn and wipe it on his pants. Oh, no. On his what? Pants. Oh, my gosh. His money. And he looks at me with this shocked look like, I can't believe you just wiped snot on my hand. That's great. And it was a brand new pair of Dickies, the first night he had ever worn them. That is fantastic. It's the only appropriate look he could give you. That's fantastic. So was your snot on his, it grossed you out, so you were like, ugh. Well then, after I realized what I did, like with this instinct reaction, I went kind of like, oh crap, to myself, and I took my shoe, and I smeared it down his pants with my dirty shoe, and now he's looking at me like, bro, I'm just smeared. Your tennis shoe full of snot down the side of my seat. You are. You are something. Sounds like Jay and I at a Bible study. Yeah. You're something. At a Bible study, it's all reverent. And I mean, we both turn bright red. We're crying. That's fantastic. That's awesome. But it was hysterical. Wow. We just couldn't stop laughing. Thank you, Gio. That's insane. And one Julie from San Diego. Go ahead. Okay. I was at a friend of mine's birthday party.
And it made you laugh Oh my gosh That would have been contagious. If I'd have seen somebody laugh, it would make me laugh. It's done. It would make me laugh. No, it was bad. Everyone was, like, very concerned for her. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Did her face burn off? Her head didn't catch on fire, but her hair did burn up a little bit. She's so sweet, and I felt really bad afterwards, but I couldn't contain myself. No, you can't. You can't. Oh, my gosh. So great. I laughed in Kim's face. Thank you. She was cooking it. We were all sitting around the campfire, and she was cooking a marshmallow. We had them on these long coat hangers, and she was cooking her marshmallow, and it caught on fire. And she went to whip it up to blow on it. Right. And it was on fire. It was flaming, hot, black. It comes whipping up. It starts to bend. The coat hanger starts to bend, and it's bending. It's still coming at her. It touches just the end of her nose, and it flips back, and the marshmallow on the end of her nose is on fire.
And I am cracking up laughing. And she's trying to put it out. Oh, dude. I still tell the story. People roll. She just gives me the eye look. And I'm like rolling on the ground. It's brilliant. Did she have a blister on her nose? She had a big giant blister on her nose. Flaming marshmallow nose. I can't blame Jay for that. It's not his fault. And the way her eyes kind of crossed as it was coming. Like she's watching like, oh, no. They crossed one, two. Yeah. Oh, my God. If your wife's. tip of her nose is on fire from a marshmallow? You have to. You can't be blamed. No. No jury in the world will convict you. You walk. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. I love it. M1 Molly is on the line from North Park. Are you there? Yeah. Go ahead. Okay, so my mom had this sort of weird thing that... When my grandpa was starting to get sick, she decided to take my brother and I to a practice funeral of someone that, like, we didn't really know. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, wow. What? Oh, wow, practice. We went to my cousin's neighbor's funeral. Oh, gosh. To practice. Yeah, to, like, get us ready for, like, a real funeral. Yes. My brother and I had just watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time. Oh, no. Yep.
And so we were quoting it like crazy back and forth to each other, and we started yelling that, bring out your dead. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Bring out your dead. And then we, like, realized it, and my mom gave us, like, this, I'm going to stab you with my eyeball look. It's a good look. Oh, my God. Bring out your dead. That is fantastic. Oh, my God. Thank you. Everything about that story. Never saw that movie. Oh, my God. Never saw it. You're a monster. It's too artsy, I'm sure. Probably. It is not artsy. It's too artsy for you. It's British humor, right? Too British for him. There is a bank that is considering a monthly fee for basic accounts. It's probably your bank. I'll tell you which one it is. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology.
Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement and financial aid is available to those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. The Home Depot has made a special buy on indoor tropical plants in 10-inch pots for only $7.88. Over $5 off a nice variety of bold, distinctive plants that brighten any room but don't need a lot of maintenance. So they'll command attention. But they won't require much. Get more spring per dollar in beautiful 10-inch indoor tropicals, now only $7.88 each. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Fall through March 7th, U.S. only. See store for details. The Chevy Volt was one of the most awarded cars in 2011. The Volt does something other electric cars only dream of. It keeps going for a long, long time after its full charge runs out by switching to gas. And guess what?
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SDCCU Mobile Deposit. Super easy. Just check, snap, and deposit. Enroll today at SDCCU.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not macho. Woods. I've never realized how fat I was until I got on a skateboard. Oh, wow. Lauren. I like it. A guy that's off Facebook is cool. And Jay. Oh, the recliner's mandatory. On FM 94.9. Just reminded Woods about the time that he made me laugh inappropriately. It was in Dallas, Texas, and Woods was a sales guy. Oh, yeah. And I was the morning guy at 97.1, the Eagle. And we did something at the Children's Hospital there in Dallas. Yes, we were doing a nine-ball charity pool tournament. But they wanted to give you guys the tour. Yeah, they wanted to give us a tour.
Woods was very, very concerned that because I was the big shot morning guy, I was being kept awake and kept up. I wanted my guys to have their rest. Right. Now, I had no idea that that was what was in Woods' head. Oh, yeah. But that was what was in his head. He was like, I got to get Mikey home. And you, Eddie, the whole crowd. I was like, let's get them in. Get them out. Let's go. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. So we go on this tour. And it wasn't just us. There was many, many other morning DJs that were there. And there were a few different sales reps there in addition to Woods. My guess is that Woods was against the tour from the start. I think so. But I think that he acquiesced to it and thought to himself, well, it'll be a quick in and out. Yeah. It won't be a big deal. It won't be a big deal. So they're showing us through children's and we go down into the basement and they want to show us where they make prosthetic limbs for children. Yeah. And we're on like, hey, in my defense, we'd been there about 50 minutes at this point. We'd been there a while. So Woods is concerned. I'm pissed. He's concerned that this is taking too long and that we must be getting antsy. Meanwhile.
I'm not antsy at all. I'm fine. I don't have a problem in the world. And so the person says, this is where we make the prosthetic limbs for the kids. And Woods goes, I go, okay, thanks. All right. Thank you very much. And there was a pregnant pause and they went, and let us show you how we do it. You were trying to do the clap. He was trying to end it. Okay. All right. Nice work. Nice work, guys. Good job. Thanks. Good job. Because it was enough of a pause that the person had made that Woods thought, oh, it's over. Dive in. Oh, and this is the finale. Right. Yeah. And Mikey lost it. He lost it. That made me laugh. And it made me laugh so inappropriately. You had to run into the hallway. I had to run into the hallway. I did. He was on one knee. He was T-bowing, laughing so hard. He was on one knee. And when Woods came out, and I remember, look, I will never, ever in my life remember, or forget, when I was, I'm down on a knee, and...
Just looking up and seeing Woods walk out of that room with a look on his face like, yeah, I'm a dork. I'm a, you know, yeah. Own it. You got to own it at that point. What did you do when, Mike, you started laughing like that? I started laughing and then also walked out. Yeah. No. And, I mean, imagine how inappropriate that is. What did the person showing you do? I still have a picture from that day. Yeah. Gosh. I want to see it. I still have a picture from that day. Skinny Woods. Yeah, skinny Woods. Wow. I mean, skinny as. That was a long time ago. Just. And Mikey ran somewhere? No. Two things that are hard to believe. You are so skinny. Just killing them back then. I want to see that picture. Oh, yeah. If you could find it, that'd be solid. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Yeah, but then I made them drive about. 60 miles outside of their way for this nine-ball tournament at this... Basically, the best word for it is an S-hole. Would be the best way to describe that place. That is being so, so kind to the place that you did that. Yeah, toilet. Woods organized, and me and Eddie had to go to it, a nine-ball tournament. Pool tournament. It was actually our friend Mark Bauman that organized it. But I was the junior sales rep along for the ride. Yeah.
It was at like 9 o'clock at night too, by the way. On a weeknight? Yeah. On a weeknight. And they couldn't say no. Where is it? In Garland, Texas? Garland. It was this disgusting. It was a toilet. And I remember walking in and that was the time where I went up to Woods and I was like, what is this? I'm so sorry. Are you sweating? Yes. What is this? I'm so sorry. You hadn't seen the venue before. And then he's got to go and like. Played pool with listeners for like two hours. And they were Hills Have Eyes, man. These listeners, they were from Garland. Oh, gosh. And they were like, hey. Hi, Matt. What's up, Maki? Hey, you ain't mad for a Mexican. What's up, Maki? You ain't bad for a Mexican. You're less brown than I thought you'd be. Gosh darn, you are short and ugly. You weren't kidding, were you? You ain't kidding when you talk about that on the radio. You like guns? I'll show you mine. By guns, I mean my unders. I mean this gun right here. Check it out. Speaking of guns, how about this gun that the Navy is developing right now? It's called an electromagnetic rail gun.
This thing will shoot rounds more than 100 miles at several times the speed of sound. Yeah. Wow. At this stage, what they're doing is they're focusing on measuring the barrel of the gun's life because this thing shoots out so freaking fast that they got to figure out if the barrel can survive this thing getting shot out of it. Because it can fire up to 5,600 miles an hour. That's how fast the projectile is coming out of that thing. There's no getting out of the way. Seven times the speed of sound. By the way, the projectile weighs 40 pounds. A 40-pound projectile moving at a speed of 5,600 miles an hour. What's the distance from here to L.A.? About 100 miles? I don't know. Yeah, it would fire from here to Los Angeles. And then it would have to cut through many, many things once it even reaches the target. Yeah, it's going that fast? Well, and that's the deal. You can have a smaller piece of mass if it's moving fast. You can go slower if you've got a bigger piece of mass. Imagine something 40 pounds moving that fast. Wow. You know, well, what they want it for is if Marines are storming a beach, that's what they'll use it for. Killer.
They'll use it for enemy ships, self-defense against cruise missiles, ballistic missiles. Right now, I didn't know this. Right now, currently, the guns that are on those destroyers are 5-inch guns that shoot for 15 miles. I didn't know that. That's 3 inches longer than Jay's wings. I wonder how often this thing can fire, how quickly it sets up. I saw a video of this thing firing. It is insane. Intense, I bet. Oh, dude, 10 rounds a minute. Wow. Ten rounds a minute. Wow. And just fast and far and hard. Gosh, darn. It has zero. It's not using gunpowder. It's electromagnetic. Yeah, it doesn't use any chemicals. Crazy. I mean, that's what fires a bullet out of a gun right now is the powder, you know, it explodes. And it doesn't happen with this. Wow. This thing uses these magnets that fire it out of there at 5,600 miles an hour.
Projectile. And the reason is because it's going so fast that it's creating such heat and G-forces that they're afraid it might disintegrate. Man. That's how fast it's going. That's insane. I love it. It's badass. Geniuses. Yeah. So they've got a... Oh, and it will have GPS on it. Of course. Of course it will. Of course it will. Hit a gnat. Mm-hmm. I wonder if it gets SiriusXM or if it just, you know. Yeah. I wonder if there's like a voice, like a live guidance voice. You are almost there. Traveling 17,454 trillion miles per hour. Ow. Ow. Rewilding. That is great. So there you go. That's the Navy's new weapon. And the B of A, that is who, the B of A. The B of A. Yeah. The BofA. Bank of America is considering a monthly fee for their basic accounts. The SOB. Should I just take my pants off and just bend over the table now? Well, here's the thing, man. Woods, it doesn't matter if you change banks. It doesn't matter. Because they say that JPMorgan Chase and Wells Fargo...
They're rolling out plans. That's awesome. They're going to be raising some fees and pushing customers to do more business. You know what we should do? What? We should occupy. Yeah. Now, here's the thing. B of A says that they're doing this, and what they're trying to do is get you to use the bank more. They want you to use the bank more. Take some money out, put some money back in. It's because there's all these laws that were passed on what they can do with their credit cards, which is where they were cleaning up. They're like, all right, let's go gouge the part that hasn't been affected. Go to a credit union. Oh, and they're gouging. They are gouging like crazy. I've heard that's a fake bit too, by the way. Credit unions are up here. It's not a fake bit. Somebody just posted on our page. They post all they want. It's not a fake bit. Not all of them. Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll come back tomorrow morning at 5.30 and do it all over again. The Mikey Show's out. Get it.