The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/01/11
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
iPad purchaseWord of the day carneCharlie Sheen contract disputeHPV vaccinationDancing with the Clowns castPhone ring prankMost annoying audioIncorporator gamemikey showipadcharlie sheenhpv
Mikey kicked off the show by secretly taping a conversation with his wife Rebecca about buying a new iPad, then played it for the audience. The crew debated the word of the day 'carne', gave away prizes, and argued about Charlie Sheen's contract dispute with CBS. Woodsy disclosed his HPV diagnosis, prompting a discussion about vaccination, while the team revealed the Dancing with the Clowns cast, played a prank phone‑ringing bit, aired the infamous Alex Jones clip, and had Sienna struggle with the incorporator word game.
What happened, in order
Secret iPad talk
Mikey plays a covert recording of him asking his wife Rebecca for a new iPad while she was unaware.
Word of the Day: Carne
The hosts debate the meaning of 'carne' and announce that callers who say it win sunglasses, concert tickets, and LA Galaxy tickets.
Charlie Sheen CBS dispute
Mikey argues that CBS breached Charlie Sheen's contract, should pay him millions, and settle out of court to bring back the show.
HPV awareness chat
Woodsy reveals he has HPV and the group discusses vaccination, risks, and the importance of getting checked.
Dancing with the Clowns cast
The lineup for the 12th season is read aloud, featuring Sugar Ray Leonard, Petra Nemkova, Romeo, Ralph Macchio, Kendra Wilkinson, Chelsea Kane, Heinz Ward, Mike Catherwood, Wendy Williams, Kirstie Alley, and Chris Jerich
Phone ring prank
The hosts play a fake ringing sound over the air that annoys listeners, later admitting it was a joke they played on the audience.
Most annoying audio
They play a clip of Alex Jones on The View, calling it the most annoying piece of audio they've ever heard.
Incorporator word game
Sienna must incorporate odd words like galoshes, enema, and nostril into a phone call to an engine repair shop while being fed the words off‑air.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayAlanGarrettRebeccaJamieTonyCharlie SheenDenise RichardsBrooke MuellerJames Franco
32,698 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome, everyone, large and small. Welcome, everyone, big and tall. Welcome, everyone. Welcome, y'all. Dr. Seuss. Yeah, Dr. Seuss. Yeah. A little Dr. Seuss for you. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 40 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35. Lauren O'Brien is... A resident comedian on the show. And she's 30 years of age. We call her LOB. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25. And Jay is our producer. He's 47. And screening phones for us today is Alan. It's Alan. Alan. You want to call us? You can. You can call us at 570-1949.
Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Today's my meeting with Garrett. Lucky. Nervous? Well, you know, both of us together, we can talk a lot, so. Yeah. Woo! Just hoping that... How much time did you set aside? Yeah. Six hours? 20 minutes? No. You're right. It's about two hours. No. Definitely two. No, no. It's like going to a movie. It's going to be longer than two. Nope. Appropriate amount of time is one hour. Nope. Not going to happen. Anything more than that is inappropriate. You'll be surprised. We were all there for much longer. Yep. Two hours for mine. Two and a half. Hour and a half for me. Well, what you do if you're a gabber like me or like Garrett is you make an agreement beforehand. You say, hey, listen, boss. And listen, what do you call me? Subordinate. We will agree beforehand to meet for one. He won't agree. Good luck. He'll say, yeah, we'll try. Yeah, we'll shoot for that. Yeah, we'll try for that, Mike. But you'll actually feel that the meeting is going well. Yeah. And that you guys need to keep this communication going. Yeah. Because you talk about things that you need to talk about. So you're going to stay longer than you think. And it's going to be good. The time flies. It really does. It's when you're having fun. Right. Always does. Are you guys doing lunch? That's the plan, yeah.
Go to the place that he and I went. Bay Park Tacos or something. I don't remember what it's called. Delicious. Yeah. Yeah. We sat there for two hours just shooting the breeze. Yeah. See, he and I, though, we can shoot the breeze because we're breeze shooters. Maybe no bigger breeze shooter than the kid. I'll shoot the breeze all day. And, you know, unfortunately, I don't have the time to be shooting any breeze today. And so we'll both. And he doesn't either. He's a busy guy. A couple of breeze shooters like he and I better make an agreement beforehand. Hey, listen, we will put a timer on you and I to rein the two of us in that way. Good luck. Let's go ahead and take bets, place bets on this. I went to Starbucks with him. I didn't even go to eat lunch and it was an hour and a half and we had to cut it short. Two hours. Easy. Yeah. 125. Over three hours guaranteed. You'll forget what time it is. You're like, oh my God. Should we just go and get dinner while we're here? I know we just had lunch a few hours ago. I've got an idea. What? An egg timer. Bring one. Just put it on 60. No. Then when it goes off, we agree. We've got to stop the meeting. That'll be awkward if you're in the middle of talking about something. You know, Mike in Detroit, I was... See you later. I did something.
That I think was ingenious. Yesterday, right before I went to bed, I decided to record a conversation with my wife, Rebecca. Record? Without her knowledge. Oh, boy. That's a bad plan. Does she still not know about it? Unless she's awake. Sometimes she's awake at this time. She's like, really? Yeah. Well, one way or another, she's going to know about it. Holy smoke. I'm sure she'll appreciate it. So I knew it and she didn't. And what I love about it is how it's what happens in a marriage. Portrays your relationship. You know what it's about? What? It's about seven minutes. But beyond that, it's me telling her. And if she is awake right now, she's going, oh, wow. Me telling her that I think it's important that I get the new iPad. How much Apple stuff can you have in one home? You have an iPad. That's your next piece of ink, by the way. Big Apple logo right on your forearm. On his forehead. Here's the deal.
And you're welcome, M1s. You're a dead man. I knew I was going to have the conversation, and I thought to myself, if I'm going to have this conversation, maybe I tape it. I think it's a brilliant idea. So I did. Your poor wife. You get to hear it. I'm going to fillet you. I know you are. Just get ready. I know you are. Oh, both these girls, I'm sure. I'm going to go right after my jugular. The Incorporator at eight. Don't know who's going to do it. Woods is assigning it. To one of us. And it can't be Jay, right? I've already done it. Jay did his. I've done it. So it'll either be me, L-O-B, or Sienna. Get ready, Sienna. I know. It's still going to be me. We'll see. Word of the day is carne. Excuse me? What did she say? I said that the word of the day is carne. Carne. Carne. Carne. No, not carne. Carne. No, that's the guys that yell things out to you at a carnival. No, that's carny. This is different. This is carne. Carne. Oh, my gosh. Just say beef. Just say beef, yeah. You know, like carne asada. Right. Carne. But that wasn't it, right? No. I will have to work it into a sentence between now and ten. Sweetly. And we got pretty cool prizes for word of the day today. If you're caller nine when you hear it, you get...
You get three things. Word of the Day winner gets three things. A pair of sunglasses, a pair of tickets to G-Love and Special Sauce at House of Blues, and tickets to see the LA Galaxy play here in San Diego. That's David Beckham's team. And they'll be playing here tomorrow. So if you win, you go. You go tomorrow. They're playing at Torero Stadium. Should be good. And all the girls go out there and they look at David Beckham running around in little shorts. Maybe after the game they have a flirt with him. They walk up. They say, hello there, David Beckham. My name's Cynthia. I'm rather loose, aren't I? Winner time. You bend it like Beckham at that point. Anytime we talk about David Beckham, Jay has to get in and bend it like Beckham every time. Perhaps I just try to make the colorful remarks, you know. And then we don't go too far, do we? Maybe we don't. Bend it. Just bend it. Greed. David Beckham's having a fourth child. Wow. Feels real good. She's pregnant. I wonder if they'll have a girl. Should we be gorgeous? Do they have a boy or something? Three boys, yeah.
Adorable boy. Yeah, just beautiful. Really cute. Well, I'll tell you this. Unless they spun, then... That was you, Woodsy. Was that me? Oh, wow. A little eclair coming up on you. Oh, my goodness. Unless they spun, they're having a boy. You can't say that. You don't know. It's 50-50 shots. It's like my friend Tony's got five girls. Go ahead, dude. Keep trying. Poor. Five girls. Five girls. Oh, my God. They're beautiful. They're the most beautiful kids I've ever seen in my life. Five girls. My dad, four boys. It's like you have something. You just, you know, I know there's exceptions. Two girls, two boys. Yep. Okay. Listen. Now, that means that you weren't. See, if you go over three kids of the same sex, if you have three kids of the same sex, first three of the same sex.
But generally, in my opinion, I think you're going to have that. Now, there's going to be people that will call us. People that will call, and they'll be like, not me. I have three older sisters, and then me. Oh, Mike. Exception. I'm one of three sisters. I think it's just luck of the draw. I think it's what you're doing at the time, because whenever I had the two girls, I was riding my mountain bike. I was racing all the time, and I'm pretty sure that I was producing a lot of heat. abuse to the boys. And when I quit writing, then all of a sudden boys start popping out. What's my excuse then? Everyone's different. I'm not exercising. I think it's body heat. Maybe if you do start exercising more, then you'll have girls. You guys just throw out theories? Science. Here's what the doctors say. The doctors say it doesn't matter what you do, it's Always 50-50. Doesn't matter what you do. I believe that. They say it's 50-50. It doesn't matter. Nothing you're doing. Nothing you've done. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. It's always flipping a coin. They can say that all they want. I can tell you, I'm not going to have a girl. You should try. Yeah, you should at least give it a go. Yeah, it feels real good. I think you will have a girl. Get in there. I think you will. Last time. Last one. Guess what? Be a boy.
It'd be a girl. It'd be a girl. It'd definitely be a girl. I have girl written all over you. Yeah, there's girl written all over you. Yeah, there's girl written all over you. I beg you to love me. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. Love me. I'm just trying to push you to have another baby. Yeah. I want you to. You should. Rebecca really wants one. It's been long enough. You've never been more feminine. She would like, I think, to have another one if it just was here tomorrow and it was a girl. If she knew it was going to be a girl, she'd be all the way in. Going through all of that again is not easy. You need a little girl. Soften your heart a little bit. His heart is very soft. He's got a super soft heart. But he needs a girl so that he chills out about girl subjects. Yes. Because you're too boy. Yes. That's right. Stop staring at me. You grew up with all boys. Now you have all boys. You get skeeved out. Yeah. When you mention the word purse. Tampon. Cycle. I don't want any of that. I don't want any of that. You need to learn. No. It's a circle of life. Open your mind. I don't want that. I don't want that stuff. Come on. In your home. You got a house full of it already. I love the way it is. Love it. Love the three boy bit. Love it. Why do you hate girls? I know. I don't hate girls. Girl haters. Sexist. I don't hate girls. I don't need worry. You know?
Because off the air you said that girls aren't as good as boys. You did. So I thought maybe that had something to do with it. No. You're mistaking that for when you say men are smarter than women. Yeah, that could be. You actually do say that. That could be. You actually say that. I heard you both say that in the same conversation. Remember when you said that women couldn't direct movies? Yes. No, that's not true. I said women can't direct horror. And then I said, remember the good old days when just men went to work? Woods does say, don't lie to your boys, lie to girls. Yeah, you don't lie to me, you lie to girls, okay? It won't get you very far. That's true. Here is Charlie Sheen discussing the drug that he's on. All these radio rants have people thinking Charlie Sheen has got to be on drugs again. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. Why did he do that? No. He's not all there.
I think my uncle had something called wet brain. He drank so much that he got, you know, crazy. I think he's like bipolar or something like that. And a lot of people are thinking that. You know what, though? I think bipolar and somebody that's bipolar can call in and tell us exactly what it is. But I thought bipolar was you have one extreme personality in another. And I've only seen one personality from him. Which is this crazy one. Because he's like turned on during these interviews. And I think that's why it's coming out. Yeah. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your child will weep over your exploded body. Too much. Too much. See, my thought is if you're, you know, if you want to appear that you got it together, why not just speak like you have it together? Right. You know, I mean, even if it's a lie. Even if the truth is you don't have it together and you're on drugs and you're on alcohol, wouldn't you think conventional wisdom says you go on TV, you interview me, Woods, and I'm a wreck. You're a wreck. So you've been in the press a lot lately. A lot of crazy stories coming out about you, man. What's going on? You know what? I'm actually doing really great. Are you? And it's disappointing to hear these things. I'll even do the Charlie Sheen bit with you, okay? Okay.
A lot has been made about my comments about AA. Listen, it doesn't work for me. Sure. I've got a different way of doing it, and that's that. Well, you really kind of went for the jugular and attacked him and called him some names and stuff like that. Why attack? Well, you're right. I'll tell you, poor judgment. Shouldn't have done that. Just sounded like a goofball. I listened back to that. I said, man, I sound like I'm half cocked on that thing. And you probably were. Yeah. Well, I actually wouldn't. I've been clean. What are you on? Nothing. Haven't taken anything. I like that, too. Get me. Try to get me wrong. What are you on? Drug-wise? Yeah, drug-wise. Nothing. I'm actually clean, actually. Are you? I am. I am clean. I haven't done any drugs and haven't done any alcohol. And I've done it all without this whole... You've been taking the pot? No, haven't had any drugs. In fact, I was just tested. Just tested and came back clean. Just happy to be here. Just happy to be living life. Yes. Thank you. I, too, am happy that you're here. Thank you. Yeah, dude, when you smoke seven gram rocks of cocaine the size of a softball, your brain is going to, you're not going to, you know, you're not going to be able to function.
I wonder if that's the deal. He's done so many drugs, it's messed him up. His brain is lacking something. They're in breach. They're in radical breach. And sorry, guys. CBS. You sound like CBS. You screwed up. Are you going to sue? Well, I mean, wouldn't you? I don't have a job. I got a whole family to support and love. And people beyond myself, people a lot more important than me, are relying on that money to fuel the magic. What are you going to sue for? Tons. They're going to actually put on a scale and be like, little more, little more. Add some gold. Add some gold. Bingo. I'm here to collect. You know? And they're going to lose. They're going to lose in a courtroom. So I would recommend that they do an out-of-court settlement and fix this whole thing and pay the crew and get season nine back on board. They probably will lose. I read that there's no morals clause in his contract. Really? And the guy came to work.
Showed up. The ratings were through the roof. They canceled the show. They're in breach. They're going to have to pay this guy something. He is not walking away empty-handed. Empty-handed, I promise you that. No morals clause? No morals clause. That's what I read. He said, too, that if they decide to take him back, he wants $3 million an episode. Went up a million from yesterday morning when we saw him. Oh, my gosh. M1 Brian from San Diego knows what bipolar is. What is it? Bipolar, like you said, is... the other. A lot of different people are different. In my experience, it's been either... Fortunately for me, the last several years, I've been very, very happy. I do get time stressed out. Medication? Yeah, but I didn't like the way it made me feel, so I quit taking it and hustled into the doctor for it because through marijuana...
I feel like it helps me. You know, I smoke a lot of pot. Not every day, but at least once a week. You know what's amazing? And I mean, this is truly remarkable. Okay. And credit where credit's due. L.O.B. had heard you speak two words before she put her fingers together like a joint, put them up to her mouth, and mimicked smoking weed. And when she did it, I thought, I don't get that vibe, but then it turns out she was 100% correct. Very mellow. She was right on the money there. She is Magnum P.I. Hello, B. Yeah. All right. I feel you. Takes one to know one. Sound like a stoner? Hello, B. Hello, B. Hello, B. It works for him. Yeah. I mean, it never works. It's the marijuana. It's there for a reason. Yeah. That pot. Pot. Grass. Mary Jane. Jay actually dated the original Mary Jane. She was a blast. 1420. I think it was 1420. 1420. He used to harvest with George Washington. That guy was crazy. Yeah. Guy knew how to party. He could roll a spliff like he would not believe. A spliff. Hey, hey, hey. Phillip.
No, no, no. Let George roll. You don't know how to roll a Mary Jane. Let George Washington roll our marijuana cigarettes. Because you don't know how to roll, Philip. And take that wig off. Your powder's too heavy. Jay having a conversation in 1776. Great year. When he was 40. Yeah, when I was 40. Let's see. We have the new cast of Dancing with the Clowns. Can I just say really quick that Charlie Sheen's longtime publicist actually quit yesterday. So we were watching Charlie on the news and we're like, where's his publicist? Why is he getting away with saying all this crazy stuff? Well, yesterday afternoon, he was actually interviewed by TMZ. That's when his publicist quit. And Charlie said to TMZ, he's not allowed to quit. So you're fired. Oh, boy. I thought that person had quit a week ago, obviously, since he'd been on. It seemed pretty apparent to me.
pleading, urging with him, don't do it, man. He's like, I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, Charlie Sheen. His publicist released a statement. His name is Stan Rosenfield, and he said, I've worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time, and I care about him very much. However, at this time, I'm unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned. Wow. Makes sense to me. Yeah, more. Speaking of Charlie Sheen, Letterman last night, he's doing a shtick about Charlie Sheen. And at one point, he does something pretty rare. For Dave Letterman. He doesn't talk about his personal life very often. And he reveals to his audience and to all of us that he saw a shrink after he cheated on his wife slash girlfriend, whatever. And he tells the shrink or he tells what the shrink told him that he wants to give as advice to Charlie Sheen. And I heard it and I went, it's actually pretty good advice.
And we'll play you that next. I haven't received an email from my wife yet, so she probably didn't hear that I taped her yesterday. But she's usually always awake by this time, so she's probably hearing it now. If you didn't hear me mention it earlier, it's 7.30 this morning. I'm going to play you a conversation that I tape-recorded yesterday, secretly. of me talking to my wife about me wanting to get the new iPad. As you can probably predict, she showed resistance. I would imagine. You buy a lot of stuff from Apple. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the incorporator is at 8 this morning. Woods is going to pick me, Sienna, or L.O.B. to actually be the incorporator. We don't know who he's going to pick. Sienna feels it's her.
I'm hoping that by saying I feel it's me, it won't be me. I feel like it's me. No, I was just saying that, hoping it wouldn't be. And then Eskimo Blue Waters will be making an appearance at 8.30 this morning. She's been working on a new record. And so wants to kind of give us a little sneak peek at what kind of stuff we can expect from this record when it drops. Drops. Wow. I think it's a demo. I heard some of it. You did? It's pretty ridiculous. Yeah. She doesn't think so. She thinks it's legit, you know? She thinks her work, her art is legit. She calls it, in fact, her art. Her art. Her craft. Yeah, her craft. She's an artiste. Yep. So we'll hear some of that. And then we're going to be telling you who the new cast of Dancing with the Clowns is in just a moment. I'm in on it, by the way. You're in on the cast? Yeah. All right. We'll see who is on there. Letterman's advice for Charlie Sheen. I know something about humiliating yourself in public. Me too, Dave. And I could straighten this whole thing out in a way that Charlie would respond to. Because when I went to counseling to straighten myself out, I'll give the same advice that was given to me. I would give the same advice to Charlie. And if you're any kind of guy at all, this is the one thing you respond to.
Anybody, if you're a real guy, you respond to this. Charlie would come out and I would say, hey, so Charlie, how's it going? And then he would go into his thing that he's not on drugs, he's on something called Charlie Sheen. That's what he's saying now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. And then I'd let him have a little fun and people do some laughs and, you know, this, this. And I would say, Charlie, here's what my therapist told me and it worked pretty well and I'm going to pass this information along to you. Try not to be such a dumbass. Pretty decent advice. Yeah, absolutely. Pretty decent advice. You can get through life with that. Yeah. You can tell your kids that, hey, listen, don't be a dumbass. Don't be a dumbass. Seriously. Just don't. Because your nature is going to tell you to be. Yep. Just don't. Don't be a dumbass. My dad told me that. I mean, not like that. He didn't say it like that, but he told me, you know. Yeah. My parents say, use your head. Yeah. I got the no common sense bit. You're a real smart kid. You just don't have any common sense. I got that for 34 years. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's tough. Common sense bit will get you. Okay. So who's going to be on Dancing with the Clowns? Okay. This is the 12th season and the cast is as follows. This is a popular show. Boxer.
Sugar Ray Leonard. Legend. He'll be great. He'll be dynamite at it. He's athletic. Yeah. Model Petra Nemkova. Don't know who it is. Me neither. Gorgeous. Sounds delicious. Rapper Romeo. Never heard of him. Me neither. Hello, babe. Get ready for this one. Ralph Macchio, karate kid actor. I don't understand the rules yet. I want to go home. Isn't Ralph Macchio, you know, 70s? He's 106. Hugh Hefner's former girlfriend, Kendra Wilkinson, San Diego native from Claremont. Married to Hank Basket. Yes. Disney star, Chelsea Kane. Nope. Don't know. This one really is going to get my husband. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver, Heinz Ward. No! Yeah. My husband's favorite. Wow. Good move. Not anymore. Loveline host. It's not a bad move. It doesn't hurt people's careers. I know. It doesn't. I know it doesn't. You don't need that. He's going to take some heat on the field next year. It puts him into a new clown suit. I know. Loveline host, Mike Catherwood. Loveline host, Mike Catherwood. He's actually Drew is a Loveline host. A DJ in LA. Okay. Talk show host. He's more famous than I am. I've never heard of him, but he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars. If they asked you to be on Dancing with the Stars, would you?
No. Yes, you would. Zero. No, you wouldn't. I would make you. No way. Man. People would know more about us. I think I would. I would do it. You could. I couldn't do it. Yeah, but Mike doesn't like dancing. Well, neither does a lot of the people on here. Yeah, I would humiliate myself. Me too. I think it'd kind of be fun. You'd have to get in some serious shape. Yeah. They work those people. Talk show host, Wendy Williams. Oh, wow. About eight feet tall. She is. Who's the dude that's got to lift her over his head? There's no way. She's a big girl. I'm not saying she's fat. She'll lift him. She's like a linebacker, though. She's a big girl. She is. Maybe they do it the other way around. What's she look like? Wendy Williams. Never seen her. Tall. Like six foot one? White chick? Black chick. Black chick. Yeah. Big girl. Six foot one. Heavy? Maybe bigger. Heavy. I mean, she's thick. Yeah. How are you going to lift her up? I don't know. They don't have to get lifted. Not a requirement. If you want to win. I don't know anything about it. If you want to win. Well, another one that they may have problems lifting up. Although she's looking better. Oh, boy. Kirstie Alley. Oh, man. She lose weight. She's looking better these days. I don't know what that means, though, Sienna. She's down to 360. She was really big for a while. When you say really big. She was really big. 300 pounds. Yeah. Was she really? Yeah. VW. Now she's, I don't know how much. 180. No.
285. I don't know. She looks thick. She's like Oprah. It's up and down and up. I watched Cheers the other day, and she was on it. Gorgeous. Stunning. Stunning. The voice, the body, everything was perfect. Not so much. I still really like her, though. She's very likable. She is likable. She seems crazy, though. That's what I get. It's a crazy thing. She owns monkeys and all kinds of stuff. I don't know anything about her besides Cheers and Jenny Craig. And the last person on the list. This is the 12th season of Dancing with the Stars. Just came out this morning. Wrestler Chris Jericho. Yeah. From WWE. Sure. All right. I know his name. I don't know what he does. I don't either. I know he's a wrestler. Heard that name a million times. Show starts March 21st. Interviewed him like four times. Really? Yeah. Starts when? March 21st. All right. Two hour season premiere. I'm watching. A lot of people do, man. Lots of people. I always say that. Jay does. No, Kim likes it. Sienna does. Yeah, you watch it, bro. Kim likes it. He's into it. Give me that bit. He's into it. I'll go play video games when she watches it. I'll walk through. The girls are hot. You know. Don't try to. You don't have to try to make excuses for it, Jay. You like dancing with the stars. There's hot girls on the internet. It's the Gossip Girl bit. He likes Gossip Girl. I know. He likes it. One Tree Hill. He likes it. He'll make it about hot girls. Make it about the chicks. I'll walk through. He likes Dancing with the Stars.
And you know why people like it? Because they like to judge. Yes. They like to go, I think this about that person. I think that about that person. I'm really fascinated to see how much weight they lose. Do they do that all the time? Their body transforms. Does it really? It's amazing. Because they dance for hours and hours every day. Do they ever show at the end of the season like, hey, here's what day one looked like? No, but they should. They should. Because I will watch and be like, oh my, if I miss a couple episodes and I watch like a month later, they look different. You know what Rebecca was watching the other day? You guys are going to kill me. Because I thought it was stupid. And she was like, you like this. I go, babe, I think it's dumb. You guys are going to kill me. You're going to kill me. Along came Pauly. You don't like it? How can you not like that? It's hysterical. It's not that great. It's funny. I watch it and I go, that is not Jennifer Aniston in a million freaking years. That's the only thing. She doesn't work. Are you telling me when you watch the part with Ben Stiller's best man, I forget his name. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yes. Walk out onto the dance floor.
And he eats it. The first scene and just slips and falls. I'll tell you what scene I came in on. So I missed a lot. I came in at the part where Jen Aniston was first dancing, dirty dancing. Oh, yeah. Salsa with that guy. Yeah. That turned out to be gay. Ruben. It really wasn't. Wow. It was kind of like. Ruben has been stiller. To me, it wasn't. But I understand that, you know, it wasn't my thing, but I get it. The one thing that I did laugh at was Philip Seymour Hoffman at the end of the movie going. In the meeting. Or when they're playing basketball and that sweaty ogre. Didn't see that part. I must have come in too late because I've heard about that part. I told them. Hope you douchebags brought your A game. The greatest line. I think I just like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Jay, I'm okay to say this stuff that you wrote in your recap, Jay? Well, he's not going to get mad at you? No, no. Okay. He knows. Last night. Okay. Last night was Finn's birthday. Finn is his son. Happy birthday. Friday night. Friday was actually his birthday. But we celebrated last night? Yeah, we went to dinner as a family. All right. And Finn turned 19. Okay. Hard to believe. And he's a couple inches taller than Jay. Oh. Beat down. And this was the first dinner that Finn brought.
A girl. He's always been a player. So he thought. So he thought. Jay says that up until now, he's never even wanted to admit that he was dating. Right. And not only is he admitting that he's dating, he brought a girl on. And was it comfortable? Uncomfortable? She fit right in. And it's hard. You got the entire Isbell clan breathing down your back. She just sat back and... What are the sisters like? Because Jay has four kids, and two of them are girls, two boys. And so what are Maddie and Liberty like to her? Maddie was real, you know, hey, blah, blah, blah, back and forth. Liberty, I could see Liberty was kind of giving her the, really? No, you didn't. Oh, no, you didn't. That's my brother. That's how I am too. It was funny. It was like I could not believe because Liberty's always so, well, we all should get along. And she was like, mm-mm, no, mm-mm. I was like, wow. Wow. Probably an interesting topic there. Probably an interesting topic there in.
What we're like with our siblings, significant others. And that could be wife, girlfriend, whatever. It always starts girlfriend or, you know, boyfriend, whatever. If your sister's dating a dude or your brother's dating a girl, because with me, I know that here's my deal with every single one of them. I always start the clock with I like you. Yep. The clock always begins on I like you. Benefit of the doubt from the get-go. Always from the get-go. And really, there's only one thing that will turn the tide for me. Just don't act like you own the place. That's the one thing. It's the only one thing that any SIG other can do that will make me be out. Yep. It's a great call. It's a great call. Do you guys have one? Like, they can even kind of... I know this is a terrible thing to say. I'm just being honest with you. I could see them muscling around my brother. Whatever. I mean, they could do whatever. Or they could be ultra, like, you know, sickeningly sweet. Or they can be anything. Just don't throw your weight around to the rest of the family and I have no problems with you. They can be disrespectful to my brother. I'm being honest. I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. So, like, you're just at Christmas. Yeah.
Somebody, Sig Other, came and was like, you guys, we need to do this and this. It starts pushing people. Dude, I would lose my mind. I would lose my mind. But the same girl could be like, Steve, move your feet. And I'd be like, you're a P word. To my brother. Yeah, exactly. About my brother, I would be like, whoa, dude, what's the matter with you? Why don't you get a little control? Yeah, I mean, that's what I would say. But I wouldn't personally be affected. Or offended. Offended. It's like, whatever. That's who you chose. Like, weirdo. I don't know why you chose that. I particularly wouldn't like someone that threw their weight around, but I also wouldn't like the way that they treat my sibling. That's his bit. Girls may be different. I don't like people that speak out of school. Like, you meet my family for the first time, and you're like, your mom's kind of weird. Oh, my God, L.O.B. If they ever said that, I'd be like, get out. I mean, maybe not in so many words. Like if they said, if they go.
Does your mom always do that? Oh, yeah. Or something like, ooh, a little sensitive. I love you. You love me. Talking about my other brother or something like that. Yeah, that would drive me nuts. Don't speak out of school. You're not in yet. Maybe zip your lip, all right? You're not in yet. Zip your lip. Yeah. Yeah, I had three sisters, and I was always, I was young, but I was always like, I don't like him. And they were like, well, why don't you like him? I was just like, love my sisters. And they were taking the time? Taking the time, yeah. Taking the time away from you? Yeah, taking the time away from me. Taking more than that, pal. I know. Oh, boy. Your sisters are married now, right? Oh, yeah. What do you think of their husbands? Are they cool? Oh, they're great. Yeah, they all did well. Yeah. Lucky. I like my sister-in-laws. Me, too. Love my sister-in-law. The sweetest. Let's see. So, Woodsy yesterday, his wife's been sick. Jamie's been sick. We didn't even really talk about what the weekend was like. This was the weekend that the baby that they were going to adopt was born. Yes. He was born healthy and all that. Birth mother changed her mind. How do you know that he was born healthy? Jamie told me.
Did she text her? Mikey just slapped his face. I just did a Macaulay Culkin from Palmolong. Did she text her? No, she saw it on Facebook. I blocked. I got off. She has not blocked her? Block her. Are you kidding? I think, you know, it's to each their own process. Mine is a little different than Jamie's, but Jamie wanted to know. Did she see pictures? No pictures. There's no pictures up. I'm sure there will be. And Jamie's going to see them? Probably. She hasn't hid her on Facebook? Nope. Or defriended her? Nope. I did. Immediately. Of course. Yeah, you'd want to know. It's their process. Because it's, you know, I loved that child so much without meeting it. And I would feel weird not seeing him born and healthy. And I would want to just look to know. Just to know. To know he's there. I would want to know that he was healthy, but I would not want to see any pictures. Yeah, I see that. I didn't find out that he was born and healthy until last night when I got home from Little League. And Jamie was like, hey. I was like, I just wonder. I wonder. And she's like, he's fine. I was like. If a donkey kicks you in the stomach, get out of the way. Yeah. Because the donkey's rearing up to kick you in the face. But see, some people, some people, me kind of to an extent, not as much. But this is how Jamie does things. I got to respect what she wants to do. I tell her, babe, it's not real smart. And I give her my two cents. And it's not real smart. I don't want to know.
You know, and you shouldn't either because we got to move on. But we did, you know, love that baby. And we I really still do. And and we just, you know, I was driving yesterday. You want to see pictures? Yeah, you do. I do. Don't you think like I do like I'm thinking of it like this because I'm totally on Jamie's side is when you're in a relationship and you break up and you're still in love with that person. Yeah. And that person you hear is with another. girl or guy they're in a new relationship and happy and then you're like I don't want to see what this person looks like but once you do and you see a picture of them on their Facebook and they're kissing or whatever it's a punch in the face but you're like alright now I know and I know that they've moved on and I know that this is you know something I need to get over because it's time that kind of happened the other day with us in the studio because they were showing all the different morning shows On TV. Yeah. And they covered us first. And then the very next day they covered the show. Yeah. My old show. And I wanted to see them. I haven't seen them for a year. I haven't seen their faces. I haven't seen what they look like. And everybody was like, are you going to spin out? Is it going to freak you out? Blah, blah, blah. And I said, no, I just want to see what they look like. I haven't seen them.
In a year. So you can relate a little bit. Oh, yeah. To what she's going through. Yes, I completely can. And if you want to, then I say, that's fine if you want to. If you're making yourself suffer, that's not what I, you know, I don't want to make myself suffer. In fact, you guys heard me. I was like, wow, Skye looks really pretty. I hadn't seen her for a long time. And, you know, so that was all. I mean, these are people I knew for a long time. And so even though you're angry or you're upset or you're whatever. I totally get that if you want to, everyone's healing process, everybody, you know, and that's the thing is, and this was, this just is a testament to my family. You know, my, my mom called and was like, listen, I've got all this stuff that I bought. Um, I want to send some of it to Chelsea. And I said, okay, that's what you think that you need to do. Cause you know, again, Chelsea doesn't, they don't have a lot of dough and you know, this is just a decision that she made. And my mom goes, I want to do it. And I go, Mom, do what is going to make you feel good. And that's a good, right thing to do. You know, it really is. It's selfless. The baby deserves those things and the baby didn't do it. And the baby doesn't have any, you know, the baby doesn't have any choice in this. But the weekend was, it was hard, dude. It was hard. It was, I mean, I went to him and talked to Shrink last week and just asked him. And he really put it in perspective for me. He goes, all right, did you love that child? And I go.
more than anything, you know, more than anything. And he goes, do you have that child? I said, no. And he goes, you in essence lost a child. And I said, well, it's hard for me to wrap my head around that because I have had friends that had babies and lost them. This was different. He goes, this is like, you know, somebody carrying a baby to term and losing it or, you know, a miscarriage or whatever. Really far along. And I said, I know. I said, you know, a week before he was to be born. It's just a tough pill to swallow for us. And we had a really good weekend. We had a very together weekend and just hung out and got dinner out every night, lunch out, breakfast out, and just hung out. And then Jamie got sick on Sunday and had like flu or something, food poisoning or something. So she's been on the couch for like two days. So that makes it hard. But that's her deal. That's what she wants to do. And if she said, hey, here's a picture, I would have. dive over the couch to see it. Because I still love that baby. That was going to be my kid. It's a weird thing, man. You know what I haven't told you? I haven't told you this. I don't know how you guys feel. But I haven't told you that I'm dealing with some real anger issues at her. I saw in your blog one day. What did I say? Something about just selfish decisions.
Yeah. Yeah. Like I almost feel like I'm going to cry right now because I'm angry. I know. I'm very angry. We we had to not be my initial reaction was anger, you know, and then share my friend. Yeah. That's the hard part, dude. That's the hard part. She hurt. She hurt us, you know, and but it's the end of the day. It's her. It's her thing. It's her journey. It's her decision. And the sad thing is I have no desire to start again. right now and i mean well you need a little time and i mean none yeah yeah and i mean like i look at stuff and i'm like nope i can't i have no desire it hurts so bad that i'm like i'm not doing it i can't do it right now i keep saying to myself though like because i feel like mike like i'm mad too and i just think you know If there's no one better, you guys deserve that baby. And I wish that that baby was yours. But if anyone else were to have that baby, at least it is the birth mother. And it's not like she went with someone else. She didn't pick somebody else, which would have just been devastating. That would have been really hard to remember. The other thing, Sienna, that we're really coming to terms with is the way we feel is that no matter had she had the baby, had she decided to give us the baby, and we could be in Colorado right now, each with an arm.
You know, he's mine. He's mine. He's mine. He's mine. That would be devastating, you know, to get there, do all that and then be like, sorry, we've never seen him. We've never held him, never smelled him, you know, never kissed him. And that we can get through that. But getting there, holding him, loving on him, you know, taking pictures and then having her take it. Forget it. Put me in a box, you know, at that point. Forget it. Well, I think you need to go through the grieving process completely before you're ready to make room for another baby in your life. You know, and that's what I told Jamie is I just go, hey, I hope we're moving. We're going to we're finding a new house, which is just amazing timing. It's so fun to move. And so we're going to find a new house. And I'm like, all right, so that's our new priority. And then the kid, you know, we'll come after that, hopefully. But that it hurts so bad and it still hurts. But it's like. You know, we got a marriage and we have a life. I have a job. She has a job. We got to we got to fight through. Yeah. I you know what it is. It hurts, dude. Yeah. Sunday hurt. Sunday hurt bad. Yeah. When he was born. Yeah. When he was born. I mean, I was I wasn't a wreck. I didn't cry. I did cry. I did cry in my office Sunday. But I it was weird. You know, it was just like it was a brief and I went Friday. I got home. I sat in his room and just was a wreck.
So I kind of got it out. Have you guys done anything with your stuff? No, just shut the door. Oh, boy. What are you going to do when you move to your new place? We're going to set it up. Yeah. Chances we get a girl are pretty good since we have all bad boy stuff in there. I have lots of girl stuff. She's going to be wearing blue for a while. Yeah, that's all right. We will not be having another shower. Thank you very much. We have everything we need. But, no, we're good, man. We're a tough couple. My wife's a tough, tough lady, man. Tough lady. She's helping pull me through instead of the other way around. We're there for each other. You guys are leaning on each other. We are leaning on each other. Well, listen. It's taken me doing radio for 24 years to come across definitively the most annoying piece of audio that I've ever heard. Oh, no. But this is it. Nice. It came on a daytime talk show, and it is undeniable. It's the most annoying piece of audio that I've ever played on the air, and it's next. So it's the most annoying piece of audio I've ever heard. It's true, and it's coming up in just a minute. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, as I'm sure you imagined it was going to happen, San Diego County gas prices have risen to the highest amounts since September of 2008.
Sweet. Yeah. Bummer. Increasing two and a half cents to $3.73. It's brutal. Yeah, one day. It's brutal. Also, James Franco, not doing well as an Oscar host. The ratings went down 10% from last year. Critics say that Franco seemed distant, uninterested, and content to keep his Cheshire Cat meets Smug Smile on display throughout the night. Also, really quick, happy birthday to... Justin Bieber, he turned 17 today. Yo, thank you. Yeah, you're 17, kid. Congratulations. That's right. That's really great. I got a Maybach. You may want to know, this is everywhere, that he and Selena Gomez made their romance. I thought she died like 50 years ago and Jennifer Lopez played her. Selena Gomez is just Selena. Just Selena. Selena Gomez is a Disney star. That's where she got her fame. She's two years older than Justin, which is what my sister told me. Oh my gosh, she's older than him. What's she doing? Justin? My sister's in high school. Is it dorky for an older girl in high school to go out with a younger guy? Well, I don't know. Obviously. My sisters like Justin Bieber. They do? One of them does. Does she? Does Waverly? Waverly, she claims she doesn't because she wants to be better than that, but Avalon thinks he's cute. Avalon actually took a picture with him at one of his shows and was towering over him. I don't, I mean, listen, I just, I.
Don't pretend to know what it's like to be a teenage girl's mind. Don't you? I really don't understand. What about Bieber? I don't get it either. I mean, to me, handsome is Brad Pitt. Yeah. So I guess teenage girls, they think Brad Pitt would be like an old man. Yeah. I know. And, well, Justin Bieber, he's cute. I mean, he has a cute face. And for us, he's just so little and scrawny and dorky. Yeah. But when you're little and scrawny and a girl, you think, oh, that's cute. Yeah. I guess. I was obsessed with the New Kids on the Block. And none of the boys my age or older could understand what I saw in them. But didn't they kind of look, well, they tried to look tough? It wasn't about. Bieber doesn't try to look tough. He does kind of. He does? Well, the feminine, that look is what's in. The skinny jeans and the hair. Yo, man, I ain't feminine. You're not? No. But your hair is down to, you know, it's coming in front of your eyes. Man, you ain't even got snow hair up. Her? I watched a video this morning when I was, you know, doing the news and everywhere I looked, it's Justin and Selena are officially together. They premiere holding hands at the Vanity Fair red carpet. And there's...
video of them kissing, like this tiny little peck. Yeah, Frenching. They weren't Frenching, Justin. You were just, it was a little peck. I don't even know who your girlfriend is, bro. She's a pretty girl. You're the only one. Jenna loves, my stepdaughter loves Selena Gomez. Yeah. You gotta watch Disney to know. Yeah. But the kiss was like looped, so it was like kiss, kiss, slow motion kiss. Yeah, they be looping my kisses now. Because you're so popular and famous. Yeah. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, this past weekend, Jeff Gordon ended a 66 race drought with a win at the Phoenix International Raceway. Here he is talking about ending his losing streak. Cut one. It did seem like a long time. You know, I try not to keep track because it can get discouraging and get you down and ruin your confidence. But, oh, God, it feels so good. I mean, it was an emotional win. You know, it's been a while. Yeah, it had been a while. 66 races. And he is a winner again. He was, man, nobody could beat that guy a few years ago. And sad news from Charger camp. Former Chargers defensive lineman Sean Lee has passed away at 44 years old. Died of a cardiac arrest brought on by double pneumonia. Dude, he's the fifth guy out of 45 from the Super Bowl team to die. Five out of 45.
Really? Isn't that insane? Yeah, it's insane. David Griggs, Rodney Culver, Doug Miller, Curtis Whitley, Sean Lee, and Mims. I don't even know his first name. Chris Mims? Chris Mims, yeah. That's right. Wow, dude. Sad. We have a 17-year-old girl on the line, and her name is Allie. She's from Escondido. And Allie, you can explain the Justin Bieber thing to me? Yeah, I can. Me and my friends weren't really that big of fans. And then we went and saw this movie. And oh my gosh, like, have you heard about his movie Never Say Never? Yeah, in 3D. Yeah, I've seen both versions. And so, yeah, like in this movie, it just shows how charming he is. And there's so much like home video that they put into it. Right. And behind the scenes. Totally what I would look for in a guy if he was at my high school right now, not famous. Okay. So wait, wait, wait. So before you saw the movie, nothing. I mean, I liked his songs and I thought he was really cute. Let's stop there. That's what I want to hone in on. The cuteness. That's what I want to understand. She just sold me to go see the movie. You thought he was cute. Yeah. And I don't understand that. What? Say what?
I'm like six months older than him, and I also thought that he was a lot younger. I get it. All right, hang on. I got a question for L.O.B. and Sienna. You guys always talk about some guy that you think is hot in Hollywood. Who is it? Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. I love him. Do you know who Bradley Cooper is, Allie? Yeah, I do. Is he like an old man to you? No, he just seems like way too far out of my reach. I like it. I like this. Okay, so in other words, what you're saying is you think that Bradley Cooper is hot, but you think to yourself, there's no way I could be with that guy. Yeah, and when I was in the movie theater, I met fans who have actually met Justin Bieber, and he followed them on Twitter because they were talking to him. So I made a Twitter account hoping that I will one day talk to Justin Bieber. Okay, but again, back to Franco. James Franco, is that his name? No. Bradley Cooper. You think Bradley Cooper's hot, but you don't think you'd have a shot with Bradley Cooper. Never. Okay. Now, can I ask you this? Mm-hmm. Let's say that you could. Let's say you met Bradley Cooper and he's all in on you. And Justin Bieber's all in on you, too. Which one would you choose? Oh, my gosh. Justin Bieber all the way. First of all, I think my mom would never let me date.
Bradley Cooper since he's so much older than me and certainly illegal. Okay. Good point. You're 17, right? Yeah. Well, you have a shot with Mark Sanchez then. That's about the only one you have a shot with because he's in on that. Or me back in the day. Or Woods because Woods did that too. Did I? Yes. Do you think it's because he came up through the likes of YouTube that he seems very likable, approachable? Attainable. Oh, yeah. Like that, too. Like you see a lot of that in his movie and theaters, how he came from a really small town and he has so much talent. I can't I can't get like this is this part will make me insane. Like to hear this part, all the other stuff fascinating to me to hear about where he's from and all that stuff. I'm going to start to go into. doo-doo land in my head. I think it just has one of those, like a John Mayer charm, and he's like the younger version, and he's cute, cuter than John Mayer, and has this little charm. He's a cute kid. He is? I mean, he's cute, but I don't understand. So even as a 30-year-old woman, you can look at Justin Bieber and go, that kid's a good-looking kid. Yeah, but there's so many kids on the Disney Channel and High School Musical and whatever the things are called, yeah, that are equally as cute, so I don't understand.
The Bieber. The craze. But I can't appreciate he's a cute kid. His music's terrible. I can't name one of his songs. I've heard them. I can't name one, but I've heard it. I'm like, God, that's terrible. I don't even know any of them by ear. I really don't. I don't know. If you showed me a bunch of kids, I guess the ones that would be handsome to me are the ones that are like, you know, like I picture that kid from 16 Candles, Jake. Yeah, Jake Ryan. That's a sharp guy. Yeah, he's a senior in high school in that movie. He's more of my type. He doesn't look like a, you know. A little girl. Yeah, girl. Justin Bieber, not my type. But I did like, what was the guy that you liked, Tiana? Randy from Homer. Macho Man Savage. Oh, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And he had the same cuteness as Bieber. Hey, Allie. Yes, he does. Allie, do you admit that you like guys that are kind of feminine? No. I think he's feminine. You do not think he's feminine. I have to correct you on that. You're wrong about that. He is feminine. He's feminine. I believe he's feminine. But not to what she's used to because that's how guys are now. I ain't feminine. I'm gangsta. Yeah, they're not feminine. I don't see that at all. I'm gangsta. Did you say you're not feminins? I ain't feminins. I'm gangsta. You're not gangsta. I'm gangsta as it be. You don't have any tattoos. Not yet, but I ain't old enough. Next year, my mom said I'd get me some ink.
I'm going to get me a Chinese cymbal right here. Thank you, Alex. Peace. I get it. I liked Joey McIntyre from New Guantanamo. He was the... But he was cute. Do you like Menudo? No. Do you like that Bancarnia Sada? I know. I know. I missed the boat on that one. You did? Delicious. All right. You ready for the most annoying piece of audio I've ever heard? Yeah. Okay. You know how Charlie Sheen, the very first thing that we heard from Charlie Sheen, right, was from this radio guy, Alex Jones. Yeah. Who, to me, is doing an imitation of Man Cow. I know Man Cow. Who's a radio DJ. Yeah. He's very famous. Man Cow kind of talk like this. This was Man Cow's bit. Talk like this. Man Cow. This is Alex Jones on The View. Oh, boy.
Get a load of this. I just think that he's somebody going through a hard time who got clean, and that's why I went out to California to help him. And I know that it's wrong for them to be prodding him, yes, and demonizing him and trying to make him blow up. That's actually what I believe is going on here. They should all just shake hands, bury the hatchet, come together for the crew of two and a half men, and try to support Charlie, but also Chuck Lorre, everybody else, but understand what happened. Okay. So you're worried about it. But Charlie's tired of being held up like the devil. We've got the TSA putting their hand down people's pants. Infowars.com covers it all. We've got the banks bankrupting the U.S. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We're sticking with, let's stick with Charlie because that's way too much for him. Charlie is mad. I understand. I understand that. He's still $23.7 trillion. We're just here to figure out what is happening with Charlie. That's what we're trying to figure out. And he's doing interviews now, so he has a chance to speak for himself. Here we go. We're not comparing him to Gaddafi. Oh, they've been comparing him to Gaddafi. Look, I was just saying, I don't think I've ever heard anybody. Let's compare George Bush, a million dead Iraqis, to Gaddafi. Torture, secret arrest, America's turning into a...
I think we were here to talk about Charlie. I'm not trying to cut you off. Charlie says you have a right to kill him, but not to judge him. Thank you. You are certainly a wonderful friend. Charlie, stay clean. We love you. And everybody else out there, stay clean. Don't use drugs. Infowars.com. Infowars.com. Holy cow. Wow. We'll be right back, okay? We'll be right back. It gives me the shivers. That show gives me the shivers. Yeah. We should do our imitation again of The View. You ready? One, two, three. After getting through its toughest stretch of the season, Ohio State is back at number one. In the third week in a row, the Associated Press top 25 has a new team on top. The Buckeyes climbed over Duke, which lost in Virginia Tech on Saturday night. The Buckeyes welcomed their return. Oh, my gosh. That was four sports stories read simultaneously. The most annoying drunk four women that I've ever observed at Episodi never sounds like that. I know. Even when they're drunk. I know. Like, they still don't sound like that. Somehow, Elizabeth Hasselbeck manages to cut through all the other hen cackling.
And you hear that lispy Barbara Walton. Just hang on, everybody. Just hang on. Come on. I feel sorry for Whoopi Goldberg. Somebody gets the control. Don't feel sorry for me, child. I feel sorry all the way to the bank. She's not as annoying as the rest. Oh, she's up there. Oh, yes. All right. I don't watch it enough then. Even her stand-up comedy annoys me. Yeah. You mean where she would try to make. like, social commentary during her stand-up act. It was, like, more like spoken word than anything. Oh, God. All right, so I got to talk to the person. I got to tell Alan. I got to talk to the person. Okay. Let me talk to the person, Alan. There you go. There you go. Alan. Alan. Alan. Phone screener. Who's this? M1 David. David, what was the word of the day? Carne. That is correct. It was carne. Got it now. Is that it right? Got it now. Got it now. Got it now. Dude, you got a lot. You got a pair of Anarchy sunglasses. You got a pair of tickets to see G-11 Special Sauce at House of Blues. And you got tickets to go see the Galaxy tomorrow with David Beckham. Because they're playing in San Diego. Cheers. Love it. Yep. Hang on. Nice. Good work, my friend. All right. At 7.30, 15 minutes from now, I'm going to be playing the audio of me secretly taping my wife yesterday. Oh, my gosh. Because I knew I was going to have the conversation and decided,
Well, if I'm going to have the conversation, I'll tape it. Can't wait. So it's a courting of me telling Rebecca that I want the new iPad. Oh, boy. And then at 8 o'clock, Woods is going to pick me, Sienna, or L.O.B. to do the Incorporator. Oh, boy. You guys nervous? Well, Sienna thinks it's her. She appears sure it's her. It just might be. We'll see. It's going to be at some point eventually. This is terrifying. Let's see. Oh, by the way, go to MikeyShow.com because you can put a bid in for a twosome of golf with Woods and Jay. Yeah. Nice. It's for something called For the Kids Foundation, which benefits underprivileged kids. So you can play golf with Woods and Jay. Be kind of cool. Next Monday. Next Monday. So get it done. Make it right. That's right. Don't be cheap. All right. So tell me what you think of this.
Hey, guys, I could use some advice. About a month ago, me and my girlfriend took a break, in quotations. We were still talking but not seeing each other as much. This was due to many different reasons, but basically we just needed time to figure things out. We both agreed that we both care about each other and would still be exclusive to each other. Things have been getting better. What are you sniggling at? Because I just read one of the dumbest things of it. Oh, my gosh. That's ridiculous. I've done it. I've done it. On a break, but you're still exclusive. We both agree that we care about each other and we would still be exclusive to each other. I don't want to be with you. We're going to take a break from each other, but we're going to stay exclusive. Like, what are you, seven? Who does that? It means they're driving each other crazy. Then break up. They need to remember what they loved about each other. They know that they love each other a lot. But they're like, right now you're driving me nuts. I can't think. I need you out of my sight. But I'm not going to go. It's not about going and dating somebody else. I still want to date you, but just leave me alone for however long. Yes. I've done it. I've been there. Yeah, me too. I was in seventh grade. No. I wasn't a grown-up yet. And by grown-up, I mean 18. Even an 18-year-old is like, what are you, a little kid? I've tried it at like 25, 26. I made it two days and called the person.
All right, I'll keep reading. I'm just telling you, I read that and I was like, oh boy with you. We agreed that we both care about each other and would be exclusive to each other. Things have been getting better. And yesterday we were having, we were hanging out at her house. I was on her Facebook. Oh my. And saw that she told her ex-boyfriend, I miss you, wink face. She swears that it was a mistake. It was during a hard time. And she never meant it. Am I crazy for thinking of taking her back? Help me out, M1KJ. Yes. Yes. I mean, it depends on how old they are. If they're seven, it's fine. If they're seven. If they're over 12, if they're over 12 years of age, there's no excuse. I could never take her back. If I saw that, I miss you, winky face. Go have it. Have at it. All signs point to disaster. Yes.
Agreed. If they're young and they're just having fun. They're not. He's all freaked out. He's writing us. He even included wink face. I miss you, wink face. Maybe she was a little tipsy. Doesn't matter. Doesn't it? Doesn't? Doesn't? Never got me out of anything, L.O.B. The tipsy bit never worked for me at all. I was hammond. Doesn't matter. L.O.B., if your BFMC, your boyfriend, Mac Commerce, were to write. I miss you wink face to his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. Dead man. Yeah, but what if he said that he'd been drinking? No. If we were on some sort of break, then maybe. Still dead man. Still dead man. What if you were on a break where you agreed that you were going to be exquisite? We're not talking about me. We're not talking about me. We're not talking about me. That's the brilliance of L.O.B. I'm going to weigh in.
But it doesn't reflect on my life. It doesn't apply to me. This is a guy. A girl. A girl doesn't do the shady things a guy does. She just did a shady thing. Girls are shady. She didn't mean it. She didn't mean it. Wow. Girls are shady. I'm funny. No. Cats. No. They are cats. Men are dogs. Women are cats. Very sly. I would agree with that. It's the greatest analogy. Very sly. Just sly. How does that go? Men are low-down, dirty dogs. So you let a dog out of the house. For the night. He's going to run through the neighborhood, just trash everywhere. He's ripping down garbage cans. Barking. He's going to show up in the morning. Right. Pan, happy to see you. You let your cat out. You don't hear anything. The neighborhood is impeccable. There's nothing out of place. Cat's waiting at the door when you open in the morning. Nobody's none the wiser. Yeah, guess what? A month later, it's got to... It's a bunch of kittens. It's pregnant. Yeah, exactly. And you have, what did that cat do last night? And you know what? All those kittens look different. Yeah, exactly. There's 12 kittens. They all look different. It's such a great analogy. It's so true. KJ, I think this is crazy. It's ridiculous. Yeah. I think it's over, pal. Seems like a very immature relationship. You deserve better, by far. You do deserve better. Sounds like you're a good guy. Yeah. Don't stalk Facebook, though.
Yeah. He was on her page at her house. That's why Facebook is the devil. Facebook's the worst. Facebook's not the devil. It's not the devil. She's the devil. She's the devil. Facebook didn't make you do something. Guns aren't bad to people that use them sometimes. That's right. Facebook ain't bad. It's just if you're bad. It's a portal. It causes divorce. It's a portal. 60% of all... No, your wiener causes divorce, not Facebook. Yeah, Facebook didn't cause the divorce. Your wiener did. You wouldn't be creeping if it wasn't for Facebook. You wouldn't care about... Why are you so mad at me, Mike? Because that's not Facebook's fault. It's not Facebook's fault. It's not, but it's because of Facebook that a lot of this stuff happens. Some of those problems would not have happened if it wasn't for Facebook. That's like saying... That's like saying... A lot of these problems wouldn't happen if it wasn't for miniskirts. Guys get turned on by them. If we just got rid of miniskirts, guys wouldn't be turned on. Miniskirts have been around for a long, long time. Facebook just came out. Facebook is this new thing where we're like, all this accessibility. When short skirts first came out, wives must have been like, that's why men are cheating. Because these miniskirts were not out.
Ten years ago. No, it's not to blame you. Now that miniskirts are out, they make men crazy. Like, men see too much leg. They go nuts. They can't handle themselves. They have to have sex with that woman. No, it's not. You cannot blame it. It is your fault. It's the man's fault. Or the woman's. Or the woman's. It adds a level of accessibility and temptation. So does the miniskirts. So does the internet. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know. But do you have, you know, a man who's happily married would not. necessarily be looking. He wouldn't know what his ex-girlfriend looked like if it wasn't for Facebook because he looks. Yes. And sometimes you meet up with Susie McLovin from the ninth grade because, hey, look. Send him a message. I didn't even remember this chick, but look at her. She looks dang hot. My wife is being a bee lately. Maybe I'll just go make things right. Well, there's no difference in that and saying, hey, bro. You've got time today. Let's go get a couple beers after work. My wife's being a bee. I've got to get out of here. And then run into the bachelorette party. No. But there's a history there, and it's a lot. It's an easier closed deal. You have an in. It's a warm lead. It's a real warm lead. But, hey, if you want it, you'll get it. Yeah. Ultimately, the guy's a dirtbag, but I'm just saying. Or the girl. Or the girl. Or the girl. Primarily the girl. Yeah. But I think. I have a problem finding any fault.
With Facebook. Me too. It's your wiener. That's what gets you in trouble. It's your wiener, bro. It's your wiener. Ultimately. It's true, but his intentions may have started off good. And just say, oh my gosh, I haven't seen you since high school. You know, how are you? And maybe she's like, ooh, I'm in. And then she sends the flirtatious message back. And he's like, oh man, oh. Listen. Show enough. Listen. Show enough. You'll be shocked by this. You'll be shocked. I doubt it. No, you will. Okay. You will be shocked. Am I going to have to leave? No. Okay. No, but you'll be like, that can't be true. Okay. I had a girl on Facebook, attractive girl, hit on me. I thought that was the shocking part. Attractive. And I'm 98% sure she wanted to do the horizontal boogie. Consummate. Make love. I think she wanted to hook up. And do you know what I did? What? I ran. I didn't walk. I ran from the situation. Well, aren't you fantastic? And the flirtation. You're perfectly strong-willed. You are different than a lot of guys. A lot of guys have the strength to do that. You're grounded in your faith and your morals. Wait, wait, wait, wait. But that wasn't Facebook's problem.
Yeah. It happened on Facebook. That girl wouldn't have come up to you on the street and been so brazen. Why not? She might not have even had any accessibility to you. Okay. I'll give you this. Facebook opens up accessibility. Yeah. But Facebook is not the problem. No. I agree with that. The girl and the guy is the problem. But it's an added level of accessibility. It's an added level. And it's just like why all of us are, our brains are kind of fried because we have, now we have. email we have facebook and all of that we have text message and calling twitter all linked to our phone at this like this this the level of accessibility that all of us are at is just mind-boggling yeah sometimes it's debilitating i can't get anything done because i'm like i don't know where to begin text message gotta call this guy back gotta write this numerous email accounts now you know what bit i hate though i hate when people and sometimes you do this lb say that you hate facebook I can't say hate for Facebook. I love it. I actually, I think I love it. I love it too. We have a love hate. It's love hate. Facebook knows that we're cool, but sometimes I like to say stuff about Facebook. Yes. And Facebook's like, why are you saying that about me? I thought we were good. I thought we were good. Facebook does me wrong. You know, sometimes it won't. I'll be Facebook. Okay. What's the matter? Like, we hang out every day. I know, but sometimes you just give me, you're too in my face. Like, you're smothering me. I got these alerts. You know what's crazy? What? I was going to say the same thing to you.
I'm on you too much? You're on me all over. I know. Sometimes I just want time to myself. I know. And you're like, check me, check me, check me, check me. And I'm like, whoa, leave me alone. I've been better about that. I've been distancing myself, and I only get on you just a couple times a day. But then sometimes when I get on you, it's like, oh, you're telling me that I have a message. Show me my message. No, no, I'm going to just stop working right now. But come on, I only want to get on a couple times a day. Don't make me get on later. I know. But at the same time, I got to say. What's going on in your head? You picked up on me. I didn't pick up on you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You were the one that asked me into this relationship. No, no, no, no, no, no. My friend suggested that I become friends with you. And then you did. I took that as a good word. And you fell head over heels. You need to give me the same love and respect I'm giving you. You come to me every day 50 billion times a day. Right now, because we're in front of our friends, you're playing Danny Zuko from Grease. And you're like, oh, yeah, I barely even sign on to you. I'm like rocking and rolling. It's your home screen online every time you sign in. Thank you. No, it's not. What are you going to do during commercials, LLB?
Thank you, Jay. I'm not going on Facebook. I am right now. You know, like when we go into commercials. Yeah, I don't even talk to you. I've been awake since 3.30. I haven't been on Facebook yet. Well, I was on once. I logged on and I didn't do anything. Have you been jonesing? No. Be honest. No. I'm fiending. I'm mad at Facebook this week. Need to get on it real good. Me too. When we come back, I'm going to play you the hidden conversation I take between my wife and I. Just discovered this song. Two months ago. Yeah. With me. With Woods. That's good. What is that? It's Stan. Hi. Freshman year of high school. I was listening to him. Rebecca wrote me two emails. Oh, boy. The first email, the... Subject is hidden audio. Oh my God, you're dead. And she says, maybe you make a career change. Maybe you just work at the Apple store. She put insurance agent. I don't think insurance agents secretly tape conversations with their wives to play for thousands of people. True story, Rebecca. The next email's subject is hot girl from Facebook. Oh my God. And the body of that email says, can get.
I love it. Agreed. Yes, double agreed. I agree. If that's married on your page, maybe she gets. This is a good song. So good. Brand new. It's brand new to me. It's new to you. You guys heard California Love? By Dr. Dre. By Dr. Dre. Tupac. It's a great song. I think it's going to be a hit. I want to welcome Jared to the studio from Children's Hospital. Hi, Jared. Thanks for having me here, Mikey. Absolutely. You brought us pancakes, and for that reason, you're always welcome. Anytime. So today's a really cool day with IHOP, National Pancake Day. And tell people what can happen if they buy pancakes from IHOP today. Well, it's not even a fact of buying pancakes. Today is National Pancake Day, and IHOP is actually giving away free pancakes. Oh, wow. So all you have to do is go in, ask for some pancakes, and in return all we ask is you make a donation to Rady Children's Hospital, and all proceeds will go back to the kids here in San Diego. That's great. That's awesome. That's great. So you just make a donation. They're giving them to you, but you make a donation. You say, hey, thanks for the free pancakes. Here's $100. That would be cool if you didn't. It would be rad.
Yeah, but all the money is going to Rady Children's Hospital, which I love Rady, and they help my son Jake, and I just love them. So, yeah, go to IHOP today, get some free pancakes, make a nice donation, and we're eating them, and I can tell you from experience just eating them right now, they're good. And mine are gone. I'm silent. Mine are gone. Woods just powered those suckers down. Three. They taste so good. Well, National Pancake Day is... one of my favorite holidays. It's not a holiday. It's a holiday. It's a paid holiday. But I'm here. Thanks for coming in today. You're welcome. All right. Well, thank you, Jared. That was very nice of you. Yes, thank you so much. We love you. We love Rady. Get out and get some free pancakes today and make a nice donation. Yeah. Thanks for having us. You got it. You got it. You can hang out. Come back tomorrow with pancakes. Yeah. Every day. Tomorrow should be National Bacon Day. National French Toast Day. Waffles, muffins. All right, so I have to set this up, this audio with Rebecca. If anybody has listened for a long period of time, you know that I like technology. I like technology. Yes, I love technology. Not as much as I love you. Particularly Apple.
The Apple Store is your favorite place to be. Yes. Other than your bed with your laptop. That is true. Or at the taco stand. True. Also true. I'll always see you just kicking it. So everything was non-fiction until the very end and then Woods threw in some fiction. It's true. I like to get the latest stuff. I own Apple stock. I love Apple. Love it. And so I want to get the new iPad. Weird. But I know that my wife is going to be resistant. Because you have one already. Less than a year. What did we decide? I challenge that. I think it was longer. I don't think so. But I knew I was going to talk to her about it because she is the keeper of the funds. I make the money. She manages it. Good move. Not smart. She doles it out. If she didn't, you'd be sitting on a unicycle right now. Yeah. Just that you thought was cool. On a throne. On a golden throne. So she's given me an allowance, and the allowance was used up, but we got a tax return, and I was able to pay off the allowance. Now I get an allowance again. Yes. But I want to get the iPad separate from allowance money. Why? Because it'll take me too long to save it.
Oh, boy. You can't save up enough allowance in the time that it's going to take you to buy that iPad because you want it now. I want it now. No, that's not the spirit of the allowance. The spirit of the allowance is anything that we don't need. Right. Then get saved up for. Are you the same person? I think you're the same person. You say the same. You say the same. They're all sisters, pal. Yeah. If you needed something, that wouldn't have to come from your allowance. But if it was something that you wanted, that's why you save it. All right, you want to hear this? So I knew I was going to ask, so I taped it, and she didn't know I taped it. Babe? Call her over. Hey, babe. Can you come here a minute? I'm so nervous. Where are you right now? I need to know. I'm in my office. She was with Nita with the twins in the kitchen. And you didn't want to go out there because you didn't want to have the conversation with Nita around? I want to tape it. Okay, got it.
Actually, I would have had that conversation in front of Anita because it would have made Rebecca uncomfortable to say no to me in front of someone. But I knew I wanted to tape it. Okay. I wanted to tape it. Ryan just like his voice. Oh, boy. Aw, it sounds so cute. It's a cute voice. Oh, my gosh. Ryan is sitting in a pile of spaghetti in his wheelchair. So gross. Boy. Well. Oh, God. Oh, God. I want to talk to you. He's trying to get the courage up right now. Is that Alec Baldwin from Glengarry Glen Ross? I wonder if she thought something was up because... Of course. Because for me, I knew I'm taping. Yes. And so I'm trying to not be like I'm taping. Right. Try to be smooth. Which is hard to do. It is hard to do.
The iPad, the one that's coming out in March, defensive or something. It was the look. Immediately a look. Immediately? As soon as I said the iPad, she got this. There are more muscles in your face than anywhere else. There's probably, I think there's something like 150 muscles in your face. She can move one of them and I know it. And her face changed just the slightest bit. And I was like, oh, you're mad. Do you think Rebecca has a dartboard with just a big apple on it? Well, I was thinking about how Jake is really responding. He is. He is. It's true. It's true. Hey, who gave me the article about autistic kids and the iPad? They do respond. They respond. He is responding. Way to reach for straws. Thank you, Mike. Good to the iPad. Yeah, you know, he is, but we're also, like, really making an effort to limit how much he uses it.
Like, at the very, very, very... But remember, I showed you that article about how cool the iPad is for kids with autism. No, I know, but... So it's good. No, no, no, I know. Okay. Those, like, applications are good or whatever, but, like, there's a direct, you know, there's a direct correlation between his silly talking and his, you know, using electronic, like, devices of any sort. Because he'll just play the same sounds over and over, and then that encourages him to just, like, script and memorize. Yeah, but we give it to him as a reward. Right, right. He gets, like, what, 37 minutes or 18 minutes or whatever it is? Yeah, at the most every day. That's the most he gets it. So he doesn't use it a lot. He would if we let him, but we don't let him. He does, though, because he uses it every day. When he does good, he uses it. 18 minutes. Yeah, but for 30 minutes a day.
It's not a lot. I think that's kind of a lot. Oh. No. My. Gosh. Do you think that's a lot? Do you? I think that's kind of a lot. It's a lot of everyone sharing his iPad. Compared to what? Well, I mean, the very definition of sharing means that it's not just one. I mean, you're sharing it. You're both using it. I'm a grown man. You need your own. Why? I don't know. It's just an investigative report. I just. Do you want the new iPad? Huh? Because you want the new iPad? I do, but I also think that there's a good, that there's good, you know, first of all, it's a write-off for us. Why are you doing that? What look did you get? The tilting of the head. Really? It is a write-off for us. There's a perfectly good iPad sitting upstairs. Okay, and...
Okay, who has more apps on that thing? Do I have more apps on it or does he? Oh my gosh. He does. That's his iPad, babe. Thank you. That's his, and you know that's his iPad. You have laptops and iPhones and you know what I mean? Like you don't even really use the iPad. I do. I don't ever see you, like rarely, like when you're showing me the weather stuff. You know when I use it a lot is when you're sleeping. Honestly, you'd be asleep. She gave me another look like, Really? When I'm sleeping? It's when you're in your bathroom office. When is she asleep and you're not? When he wakes up. When I wake up. He is in the bathroom. Okay, yeah, you get up early. At his toilet desk. My toilet desk. When I sit on the toilet and I use the iPad. So how long is that? How long do you sit on the toilet? Long time, like 20, 30 minutes. That's a lot. See, again, proving that in my mind that's a long time. Thank you, Jay. But Jake is also asleep at that time.
Yeah, so we're not sharing it at that time. And the first thing that I do is I'll grab that and I'll go in the bathroom. I'll go wherever. But I do use it. I use it as a reader. I use it to read the Bible. He threw the Bible in there. Look, he used. I do. You have 87,000 Bibles in your house. How dare you? You collect Bibles. How dare you? I do, though. You do because you're lazy and you don't pick up the other Bible. Thank you, L.O.B. What's wrong with the one we have now? Nothing's wrong with it. But I think that A, Jake deserves it. B, he uses it a lot. Okay. All right. Jake deserves it. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. You're making your wife say that, no, he doesn't deserve it? A four-year-old. Of course he deserves it. He deserves an $800 iPad. I think he deserves it. He's a good kid. He's a great kid. He's a good kid, babe. He deserves to use it. Babe, he's a good child. He's a good kid. I love his heart. Agreed. Amazing heart. Agreed. How could you deny him?
His own iPad. What he wants, yeah. I guess he's just got to be a sweeter boy than he is now. No, he gets to play with it for 30 minutes a day. He uses it a lot. I think he uses it a lot. I think it's good for him. And I think that this new iPad is a great thing for me. Okay, here's an example. If I want to take my iPad to work... She's not looking at me. So you know. She's like paying attention to other stuff. In fact, if I had stopped and said, repeat what I just said back, I don't know that she could. No chance. Because she's heard this 50,000 times. She's paying attention to other stuff. Jake can't use it then. It's effectively become his iPad. And I don't think that the cost is that bad on the new one. And mine doesn't have 3G. Mine's only got wireless. And the new one's only going to be $800. $800? Yeah, but it, okay. No way.
baby. No way. Think of it. Okay. What if I, he doesn't need his own iPad. Second of all, you guys are just perfectly fine sharing it now. Third of all, the reason why yours doesn't have 3G is because you couldn't wait for it to come out. Last time it was about to come out in two months, but you couldn't wait that long. So you got the one without 3G. And I can't use 3G now. I can't use it if we're not here at the house. Right. Because you couldn't wait. I know. But now I want to be able to at least use the 3G. I want to be able to be out and not stuck in the parameters of the house. It's two inches big. Babe. I think we can make an adjustment to the, like my... I have to, when I'm trying to get what I want, I have to go in layers. So that's why it's taken me this long to do the... Pay. Now you're acting like a four-year-old. Well, I'm going to like, here's what you do. When you're trying to escape something, you use the tools that you have. Yes. And then if it comes down to it, you'll take your shoe off and you'll use your shoe as like a digging device. Absolutely. So I'm going for everything I have. Yes.
I started with what I thought was the big guns. I'm like, hey, autistic kids respond to the iPad. She's like, yeah, right. I'm not buying it. Then I was like, he deserves his own iPad. Not buying it. I need 3G. She's not buying it. Babe. Please. We can adjust. I want it so bad. Mike, where else would you take that iPad and use it? To the beach? No, you wouldn't. How often do you go to the beach? I went to the beach three times last year. Okay. Three times. Three times. You don't need... That could get really ruined from the sand. What if it gets wet? Water. What about when I like to go here in the station and I like to... You've got a laptop. And a full Mac in there. A full Mac you don't use. What about... And an iPhone in your pocket. And an iPhone in your pocket. With a tax return. Oh, well then... Just start saving. Right? Then you can get whatever you want. That upsets me. This is going to take too long. I was very real here. Let him have that iPad. That's not nice of us. Wow. You're a monster. That made her laugh. I almost got her. I can tell right there.
I can tell right there. She's swimming around the hook. She's swimming around the hook. She's not even nibbling it, but she's swimming around it. She's sniffing around. Which means I have a shot. She's just so tired of hearing you talk about it that she gives in. That's what I do. I wear her down. He wears it down. Erosion. Chopping down a tree. Yep. Chopping down a tree. You wear it down and then pop in with the humor. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. It's such a good. She's like, fine, whatever. Just stop talking to me. It reminds her of why she loves me. Yes. And she's like, okay, just get it. Yes. No, we don't. We don't. Hey, listen. It's a compromise. I have Apple stock. I know. I'll take anything. It popped in my head and I'm like, I'm using it. You're like, I'm a shareholder and I'm reinvesting in my company. I'm using it. I go, I got Apple stock. You don't think that's a thing? You mean what I mean? You don't think that's a thing? She's so patient. Well, I think you should think about it. I'll think about it and I think you should start saving.
your allowance. Good girl. You know, because that's exactly what that's for. It's non-necessity items. I would hardly call this a necessity. I mean, that's the whole reason why you got it. December 2nd, December 3rd. It's not for work. And don't try to... For work? Oh, really? Isn't it? How is it not for work? How is it for work? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Do you need to work every day? I can't now because Jake owns it. No, he doesn't. Jake's iPad. Allowance, hon. Just say that. She's standing up now. No, about a year. Yeah, right. About a year. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. You're not kidding. He'll get it. He's going to keep bugging her. He's going to barter something. He's going to be like, I'll go without my gym membership. I'll cancel the trainer. We'll save money on dinner and we'll just have McDonald's every night. You know what, babe? All four go vegetables this year.
And all the money that I would spend on veggies. Don't buy me any vegetables. Yeah, and running shoes. You're going to be like, my birthday is coming up this summer. Just forfeit any gifts. Babe. My gift to myself. You know that mountain bike that I've been looking at? I'll just get the iPad instead. How about that? I won't get the mountain bike. He's going to get it. He'll get it. He always does. He's going to get Rebecca when she's really, really busy with the kids and start this conversation again. It's a great time. And she's just going to need to get back to them and be like, fine, get whatever you want. And you take the hit. You know she's mad, but you take the hit. You go, I'm going to have to deal with this. She's not going to divorce me, though. Yeah. She can't. She's stuck. You know, like, she's stuck. I am getting one. You are? Yes. Probably not the new one. 800 is a little much, but I want the one maybe you have. What do you want it for? Yeah. I'll tell you why. For the toilet? Well, that is rad. There's a little league app on there. It puts your whole lineup in there. You put the stats in, it does the stats for you and prints them out. It's a baseball field with all the positions and everything. This other team showed it to me last night. Almost fell over. Oh, yeah. It looks phenomenal. So is the iPad essentially for the apps? Yeah. Yeah. It's a big iPhone that doesn't make phone calls. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, man. It's got great apps. Okay. It does stuff that you're like. And you can read a book. Yeah.
I can't even tell you how often you go, for real? Like, they have something that does this? Yeah. They do. It's great. I'm getting a little easy. You can turn it into a thing that looks like a puddle, right? I don't know. What is that? It's like it has drops that go into it, and then the face of it looks like a puddle of water. Why would you want that? It's cool. I don't know. Why would you want any of the apps that are on there? Why would you? Because they're great. I'm getting one. I'll go with you. Maybe you should get a laptop that works first. It does. Next, the Incorporator Woods is going to tell us who's doing it. What are we calling? A small engine repair shop. Okay. So we need people to call us with words. We need eight words for the Incorporator. You need to tell us now. I think Sienna should leave the room. I don't know anything about engine repair. That's what makes it funny. Sienna's the in-court reader. You guys are monsters. I gave L.O.B. had the shrimp yesterday. I know you had the sausage. I ate a pickled sausage. You had a tip. I'm going to cry. You had just a tip. You had just a tip. Sienna, you knew. You knew it was going to be you. Think somebody's flustered? Oh, yeah. She's beet red. Oh, yeah. She's freaking out out there? Oh, yeah. She said to me off the air, if I freak out and I just say hang up, hang up.
M. Woods is like, you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. We're going to do the incorporator, and Woods picked Sienna to have to incorporate the words. Now, I'll explain to you how this works. It's a very, very fun game. Here she comes. Watch out, boys. Chill, chill. Here she comes. She comes. Here she comes. Watch out, boys. Chill. Chill you up. Here she comes. Confused myself. So Woods is usually the incorporator, but today he picked Sienna, and she got immediately flustered. Red. The way that it works is we call someplace, I will feed her these words, and she has to incorporate them into the conversation. Now, she's never done it before. She's nervous as all get up. She's watched me for a year, so she should have it. I don't blame her. It's tough.
It is tough. Not that I've done it. It's tough to even watch. Mikey's next. You're next. Mikey's done it. I've already done it. Oh. But he'll do it again. Let's see. In Spanish. So we're going to be calling Dan's small engine repair, which I told her, and it made her sick. Made her more nervous. Yeah. So I will tell the audience the words before she comes back in the room, and then she'll get the first word. That's it. So the words are from our M1s. M1 Andrew said galoshes. M1 HQ, handkerchief. M1 Harold, jump rope. M1 B-loader, enema. M1 Dave B, sticky note. M1 John, deodorant. M1 16, Rogaine. M1 Jason, nostril. Not easy.
I'm looking at that going, I would have a tough time calling an engine repair shop. I'm nervous for her. Not one word about engines. No. No. So she's got to use all these words in a sentence. I'll be feeding them to her. Yeah. Now, the only thing that you got to know is, person on the line, they can't hear me. They can only hear Sienna. So they won't hear me feeding the words. Okay, she can come in. There you go, Sienna. Poor Sienna. Turning my mic off. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Already. You can't begin this way. My heart is beating so fast. I know. My hands are sweating and I'm like shaking. You're going to do great. You got this. You're a pro. You're good. You're good. Guys, I don't know anything about engines. It's okay. Tell the guy or the girl the answers that you are doing it for your husband. I'll just, whatever. I'm going to look like an idiot. Just go. Oh, God. Mic's off. My heart. Want your first word? Yeah.
Galoshes. You know, the things you put on your feet for the rain. No, but okay, now I do. Rubber shoes. Rubber shoes. I live in San Diego. Galoshes. Here we go. Has privacy director and does not... Please, please let this continue. He has privacy... I put the wrong number. I think I might have wrote the wrong number. Oh, you're making this worse. Which is better. How do we take off call blocking? That was weird. It was never blocked for me. You nervous? I am very... This is awful. I'm shaking, I'm shaking. Am I pale? Yes. I think I wrote the wrong number now. Monster. Monster. Oh, this is the worst thing ever. Is this a trick? Are you guys just trying to make me feel bad? It's not working. It's not working. Did the governor just call for the reprieve? If this doesn't work, I'm not doing it again.
It's not working. No way! Oh, no. Maybe I tried to dial it from out here. Can you? I'm going to try it right now. Hold on. I am... Sienna's coming out of her skin. I was at a 10. Now I'm at a 45. So this happened to me a couple times. It's the worst. Oh, my God! Jay's turn. First word is galoshes. My mouth is dry. You're listening to The Incorporated. So I'm going to put it on hold real quick. If it starts to ring. I don't think it's working. Sienna, you're off the hook. Until we figure it out. Until we figure it out. I mean, I'm ready now. I know, but we got to figure it out. We got to figure it out. I don't know. All right. These phone lines, you know, if a business has on the block thing where, you know, you're blocking your number, it won't work. Yeah. And I'm hitting star 82 to take off our call block and it won't work. Yeah.
Maybe they got too many crank calls. And now maybe Jay can find another place. Yeah. Can he find another place? I don't know. Well, that was fun. It's ringing. Oh, jeez. Wrong number. Just find a different place, Jay. All right. Maybe find a different place. Got it. Oh, boy. Well. Oh, my gosh. Ever just want to throw up on a microphone? Yeah, right? So burst. We'll come back to it. Oh, yeah. I'll just keep thinking about galoshes. I'm going to cover the words because I don't want... It's fine. Got to cover the words. All right. All right. L.O.B. was very interested in this story. Was I? This next one, yeah. Now you're going to make me do news? Okay. Just let me switch gears real quick. The art...
Guy that drew the rat on the wall. Oh, yeah. Banksy? His name is Banksy. Lauren knows a lot about it, apparently, but he won an Oscar just this last weekend through his documentary, Exit Through the Gift Shop, right? Yeah. And he's known for drawing these rats. Yeah. A rat with a crossing sign around it, a border crossing sign. Yeah. Well, anyway, there's one on the side of this business, Taco Bowl, which is in Oceanside. It says Taco Bowl. Oh, it's Bowl Taco. Oh, Bowl Taco then. And everyone's been going to see this famous guy's rat, which is on the side of the wall. And so the guy, the owner, said the business is doubling. Banksy is a big artist. British graffiti artist. And he's been tagging things all over the world. And they did this documentary. They did a documentary about him. And it's always that signature rat. He's got these star sunglasses on. And they think that he was in town, that he was in L.A. for the Oscars. So they think that...
He just somehow wandered into Oceanside. And Bull Taco has this big black wall that's like the perfect canvas for tagging and doing graffiti. So he did the rat, the signature rat. And then he looks like he's flying a kite. And then for the kite, it's that sign. You know, like, what is it? The San Clemente area where there's a sign of people crossing the street. You know what I mean? It's like a family of people crossing the street. Is he making a political statement? I don't think so. I haven't seen the documentary. There's no of it. I know that all over Facebook, all my friends were freaking out. Like, oh my gosh, Banksy hit Oceanside. You were telling me about it yesterday morning. You're like, this is big. And I was like, a rat? What? Yeah. So people were freaking out. That's funny. Not one of my friends on Facebook was talking about that. Mine either. I know of them. I've almost started watching the movie a couple times because it's a documentary. Yeah. If you go to the Bull Taco, though, being people are now going there just to see this rat, and the owner's obviously stoked because he's getting a lot of business for it. Yeah. At first, the owner was like, oh, there's a giant rat on the side of a place where people are supposed to be eating. This looks disgusting. But then now he's all into it because he's bringing people in there. I saw it. I don't get it. Yeah.
I think you'd have to maybe see the documentary to know more about it, why this rat is his signature. I'm sure somebody out there knows more about it than I do. Yeah, if you know about the rat and why the rat is such a big deal. Why is the rat such a big deal? Hey, Ryan. Maybe it's a mouse. But it'd be a mouse. It's a rat that's wearing sunglasses? Yeah, it's wearing like these star sunglasses. It looks really cool. I don't want a rat on my taco place. That's what the guy said. I know. That's what he originally said, and he almost painted over it. And then his employees were like, no, no, no, no. That's Banksy. Don't do it. You ever just tag places? Yeah. He's an artist. You can be an artist, but you're not supposed to graffiti stuff. Well, he could definitely get in trouble, but he does it in the middle of the night and kind of sneaks around so that he doesn't get caught. The city is going to build a $600,000 downtown dog park. Yeah. Sweet. Now, this has been... Isn't it? Maybe we build a stadium. Yeah, $600,000, though. It's an off-leash dog park because there's a lot of people that are downtown that have dogs, and they're all living in condos, mostly all of them. And so they need a place to go and take their dogs, and there's no places where you can just let them run around. So this is going to be really cool. It's over $600,000 is what it's costing to build it, and it could be open as early as September. Maybe a stadium, though. There are other things that are more pressing than a $600,000 dog park.
Yeah. Think about the dogs. My dogs will love it. I know. And there's already an empty lot, which is near Pepco Park. That's something that Woods would be into. I know. What? A dog park? Dude. I have five dogs. Yeah, I know, bro. But don't you think even you, a dog lover, don't you go, maybe we should spend our money on something else besides that? No. Especially in a place like San Diego, there is more open land and stuff. Because in a lot of cities, it's like the only places that dogs can go and walk around and run around is. Yeah. Those dog parks. But there's fields and beaches and stuff here. So it's going to be at 11th Avenue and Park Boulevard. How about this? I didn't know that there was a study that says that half of the men in our population have the HPV infection. Yeah. And I remember growing up, it was something that I heard. Men are just carriers of it. That's the human Pamplona?
Isn't that where they race the running of the bulls or whatever? No, that's Pamplona, Spain. This is a human papilloma virus, HPV. And, you know, it's something that a lot of people have. And now they're saying half of men have it. So not only are they carriers, but they also get infections, you know. in their regions as well. So make sure, I know if you have daughters, especially that are like in high school at that age, you want to go and get them vaccinated. So if you have sons too, if you are sexually active. Get vaccinated. You know who doesn't get? I got vaccinated just in case. You just never know. And you have until your insurance will cover it, I believe, until 27. And you have to do it in a series. Make that right for yourself. HPV is the primary cause of cervical cancer. So obviously you want to avoid it. Are guys supposed to get it? The vaccine? Yeah. Which is what they're saying now because half of men have it. And it says that you could have.
cancers in that area. That's right. Woodsy, weren't you telling all of us that you've got it, right? Yeah, it was the other day off the air. I remember Woods was like, you guys, I can't believe it. I have the HPV. You're such a clown. That's not something I want to joke about. It is not. Really? He says stuff all the time to me. That is a trap. Yeah, but you're Mexican. I say Mexican stuff. Oh, boy. You're HPV. I say HPV stuff. HPV is very dangerous in women. It needs cervical cancer. You're Mexican, though. If I say you're at the taco stand, you're probably at the taco stand. The vaccine is Gardasil, if you're interested, which I hope you are. I thought it was called HPVasil. No. Not a funny joke. Clown. But I love you. I heard that it was called VDstrasin. It's serious. Gardasil. Save yourself. How do you know? Why don't we all go get checked together today?
I've been checked. You have? Clean as a whistle. Did you really? I've been checked for everything, just in case. I just had an AIDS test. I go every year, yeah. Annual exam. LOB, you just get checked for stuff? Everything. Weird. Yes. Do you work in the adult film industry and I don't know about it? No. But I date people and I date people that have been with other people. So do you make them go get a test and stuff when you first start to date someone? Yes. Really? That's a comfortable conversation. Whether or not they go and do it, now that's, you know, that's their prerogative. So do you go, before we date or, you know, whatever, I'm going to need you to go have a test done. I would use generally the proper protection until I felt comfortable with that person and I would trust that.
Okay, you're not going to jack me up here because I'm not going to jack you up. I've had that conversation. You're not going to jack me up? How does that conversation go? Well, it just says, you know, we're not going to be unprotected unless I know I'm safe. So the guy has to then go? Yeah. And what, bring you the paperwork? No, I trust them. Sienna, don't you think that these guys just go, oh yeah, went and got tested and came back clean? No. Because I trust them. I'm good to go. I trust them. That's where you get hurt. And I know when they're at the doctor, they'll call me. They'll call you from the doctor. Hey, I just did a swab. No, but he's like, oh, my appointment's today or whatever. But you know that there's going to be one guy that's going to be like, yeah, we ain't got the tears. Why are you doing my voice? And it came back clean. Why are you doing my voice? What if the person says that they're going to go get a test, but then they go, hey, the kid got the test. And it came back. That's why I wouldn't be unprotected unless I felt like that person was telling me the truth. And it's always rolling the dice a little bit. Unless you say, hey, let me see your test results. So you guys were never a fan of the one night stand bit, huh? No. There's another way you can make sure it doesn't happen. There is one way. You just don't.
You just abstain. You just abstain from having sex with people that you mean. Not all of us are the mayor of perfect, though. Is that right? That is true. So unless you don't abstain, you're perfect. Yes. God. Yes. Got it. Okay. That's right. Let's see. This is M1 Nubian Prince from La Mesa. L-O-T-I-Mesa. I got two comments. Real quick, yo. You guys have a random ringing going on in the background. A random what? Like ringing. It's like you guys have ringtones or like jingles or something happening in the background. Are you sure you have our show on? Yeah. No, it is. All right. I was just telling Alan right now. I was just like, dude, there's like a weird jingling noise or something happened. That's perfect. Yeah. That is perfect. Is there a line open or something? Nobody is called to say that. No. I wonder if we're getting intercepted from leaving the Incorporator thing open or something. It might be because I'm hearing it like right now.
Really? Like right now, right now? Yeah, like right now, right now, yeah. While we're on the phone with you? Yeah, yeah. Where do you hear it? Like through the phone line? No, yeah, through the phone. Actually, no, through the radio. I'm hearing it like when you guys are talking right now. Huh. Wait, wait, do you hear it through your speakers or do you hear it from my end? I'm hearing it from your end. Weird. That is weird. I don't... You're the first... Jay, are you getting any texts or anything about it? I haven't gotten anything. Are you sure it's not... Your radio? Yeah, you sure it isn't your radio. I swear, dude. I swear. Weird. It's not your radio. No, it's not mine. No, because now I went from my cell phone to the computer down to my radio as well, too. That's so weird. That's weird. All right, well, we will check it out. Check it out. Yeah. Okay, I love you guys. Thank you, bro. Let's see. M1 college student from Escondido. What's going on? How's it going, guys? Good. Yeah. that i hear the ringing too it's kind of weird what is it on is it on the phone right now or is it coming through somewhere else it was actually coming through the speakers i thought it was my phone for a second did you did now is it see i hear that but that's on your end uh no i don't have my radio on or anything okay anyway what were you calling about dude i was calling about the banksy thing why he uh why he paints rats oh yeah why does he
Because his biggest inspiration was a graffiti artist from Black Lorette. Right. Like, mid to late 80s. Right. Black Lorette? What is that? It was just some French dude, and his, like, moniker was painting rats everywhere, so it's kind of a tribute to him. I don't get it. I don't either. And I don't like the whole political statement thing. It's not political. It's art. It's totally political. Politically driven. They're corrected. They're corrected. Thank you, bro. It's going to be the first time. People ever just use their art to be... I'm an artist! I'm an artist! M1 Stephanie from Oceanside. Hello. Calling it because that ringing noise is extremely annoying. Do you hear it now coming through your radio or through...
Yeah, okay, so I got in my car, driving to the gym, and then I'm like, what? It's like a Blackberry. It's like the ding when a text message comes in. Yeah, I have that. The ringing of a phone call goes like, ring, ring. And it's like over and over again. And are you hearing it now through the phone, or are you only hearing it through your radio? No, I hear it through the phone now. That's so weird. Maybe somebody's trying to coup d'etat us. Yeah. People ever play pranks? All right. Well, thank you for the call. All right. You ever just have a radio show mess with your mind? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We're sorry. It was a joke. We're sorry. It was a joke. I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive us. It wasn't my idea. It was Mikey's idea. It was Mikey's idea. Excuse me. I'm sorry. It was Richard Dreyfuss' idea. The other day, we were having a meeting. And at the same time, two of our phones went off. And I go, I just got an idea. I'm so sorry. And I was like, should we wait till April Fool's? Nope.
How about Tuesday? We might have practiced that in that meeting for about 45 minutes straight. Just giggling. I had Adam coming in here. What's going on? Hey, you guys, are you listening to what's going on on the radio right now? Hey, Dimmick's on the phone from Atlanta. He said he knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew you were going to do this. I'm sorry. People are so mean. They're so bad at us. They're furious. Come back to us. We're sorry. We were just trying to have fun. They're mean. Don't turn the channel either, clown. Come on. I'll find you and I'll belt whip you. Someone wrote, is it Jay? Usually it is.
How dare you, Jay? That's my friend Molly. That's my friend Molly I used to work with in Texas. She lives in Pittsburgh and listens to us. Yeah. It's awesome. Hi, Mom. It drove everybody crazy, including my own family. My mom. All my friends texted me. Yeah, everybody's annoyed. I guess I'm not very popular. Nobody's happy for me except for you guys. I'm sorry, man. We won't do it again. We're just trying to... Won't we? No. No. I don't want people to be mad at us. With our new audience that likes us. No. We like them. What is that? This? Yeah. A string I just pulled out of my shirt. It was tickling me. It's really long. Oh, boy. I'm going to eat it after I finish this gump. Weird. Oh, my gosh. My aunt wrote, definitely a phone ringing. Just went all over the office looking. Sorry, Aunt Eileen. Come on, guys. We're sorry. It's funny. We're trying to just be crazy and wacky. We are making you think of something else other than stressful work. I was trying to pull facts about Banksy just from nowhere. I was like, you know, just. I can't wait to hear the podcast of that. M1Ninja from PB. Oh, my goodness. Hello, guys. Hi. Love us. We're sorry. You know that I love you. That's a proven fact.
And so every morning, I listen to you guys on my iPod as I run with my dog on the beach. It's my zen. And so I'm listening to you guys, and my dog has to stop to sniff another dog's butt. I'm sitting there, like, half listening, one earbud in, and I'm losing my mind as this is going on. Finally, I yell out, my God, and the person that's listening to me, like, is my... Oh, my God. I apologize because I realized that they had no idea what was going on. And it was freaking me out. And so I got all red. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We ruined everyone's day. We ruined everyone's day. And we just meant to, like, be silly. We got 200 text messages in, like, a blank. All I'm going through is going, ringing, ringing, ringing. Just ringing. Please, just ringing. Stop the ringing. Stop the madness. Yeah, I tried to hold myself back and, like, just ignore it because this person, I was just enjoying their beautiful morning on the beach in PV.
I yell out, oh, my God, stop it. Oh, my God. I'm both thrilled and sad that I hurt you. Me, too. I didn't mean to hurt you, but at the same time, it's hysterical. I'm now remembering, like, we were just talking about HPV and rigging our phone. Yeah, nonstop. Like, really trying to concentrate. It was difficult. Right then is when you were like, okay, guys, it's a bit. And I seriously felt like I was eight years old and my big sister played a joke on me. marched up the stairs with like a pouty look on my face but here's the thing like here's the thing in every relationship you get really mad at the person that you love sometimes and what m1s have to remember is we really are in a relationship here and you're mad at us today you're mad like we have some making up today We have some making up to do. And you guys got served. In all fairness. In all fairness. We got you, and we got you real good. And we're sorry, and we love you. Ashton Kitcher is here. Tonight, we'll go to Cheesecake Factory, and we'll get a nice everything and apps and everything. You're taking me to Jake's. I don't think it's worth Jake's. Pamplemousse. Oh. Mikey has to take all them ones to Pamplemousse now. How about just a back rub? I'll just give you a good back rub. A good back rub.
Jay's like, all right. All right. I'm giving back rubs. Motorboats from Jay. Okay. Just come down to the station. Motorboat real good. If you guys want, I will. Yeah, I expect flowers too. All right, Ninja. Motorboat and flowers. I'm not kidding. If I could give every dude that's listening right now. Easy. Mikey. Whoa. If I could give every dude that's listening right now a gift certificate. to some place and give every girl flowers, I would because I feel like they're all mad at us. They're all mad. But there are some people that are calling that are saying they thought it was hysterical. Thank you very much, Ninja. We love you. All right. Love you guys. Thank you. I want to isolate Ninja going, whoa. That was good. And one Jesse from Carlsbad. Yeah, that was the funniest thing you guys have done. That was awesome. Did we get you?
I'm so glad to hear one person like you. It made Mike feel so much better. Because you know I would have been driving home going, did I hurt people? I hurt the whole city. I hurt the city. I was trying to have fun. Just on your knees all afternoon. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was trying to have fun, and we were having fun, and I love you. Hands down, best thing ever ever done. Thank you, Jesse. All the other M1s, you guys got to love it, because that's you guys all the way. Thank you very much. It's awesome. I think I love you. I know I love you. I do. I do, too. M1 Bug from Rancho Bernardo. guys were freaking hysterics. Yay! I love you. They took themselves way too seriously these days. Well, I know me too. If I thought my phone was going off, I'd go buggy. But that was kind of what made it funny, because then at the end, you're like, it wasn't. It was a stupid radio. You're like, you bastards, you got me. It's like chirping ringtones. But people got genuinely Mad. Like, I'm not listening. Like, said mean things. Mean stuff. And I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, that was really mean. Don't be mean. We didn't mean to hurt you. We didn't mean to hurt you. We just tried to make you laugh. We just tried to have fun. We just thought it was going to be a laugh. Thank you very much for calling, though. We appreciate the phone call, Bug. Thank you. I just think, you know, people are a little too self-important. You've got to calm down a little bit. Yes. Enjoy the ride. Thank you, Bug. We love you. We love you.
M1 Andrew from Point Loma. Dude, the funniest thing was that it kept getting louder. We were finally holding our phones up to the microphones. What are you talking about, Ricky? We're like, is it coming through your radio? That was the best bit. Mikey goes, wait, wait, wait. I don't understand. So is it coming from your end or my end? Just talking and saying nothing. Oh my gosh. I checked my phone like... twice oh my gosh i feel so bad i do not people are mad all of us have either a blackberry or an iphone but people that love us are mad i know my boys are texting me dying laughing they thought that was they thought it was hysterical and when brian just wrote hurt sadness fear hurt sadness fear if you're my friend and you're listening text me so that i know that i have friends yeah i've gotten one veronica i'm sorry brian i'm sorry Rebecca Newell, I love you. HB, we're sorry. Good Lord. I thought we were friends. Sienna's brother. I'm sorry. It's not Andy Kaufman's bit, by the way. He didn't have a cell phone. It was our bit. Hey, buddy. What? That's her brother. You don't get to make money. I'm not making money. I'm calling him out. You're about to get kicked where it hurts. Oh, boy. I'm about to get chokeslammed by Sienna. Chokeslammed real good. And when Chris said...
Bad, Mikey. Show bad. I'm so sorry. We're grounded, dude. We are grounded. Chris, our other phone screener wrote in. What did he say? I hear the ringing also. It's coming from the speakers. He's trying to help that little saint. That little angel that he is. I love him. Oh, no. Text message is coming in. I don't think we've ever done anything that got more response. Never. I'm so sorry. Someone says, oh, you guys are a bunch of carrot tops. What else do you have in your bit case? Don't worry about it. M1 Eric Turman. M1 Brian said, I love the bit and I knew it had to be fake the whole time. Thought it was awesome when the first guy called in. And then it all got better as more people called in. Great work, M1 Brian. They're so sweet, too. They're trying to help us out and let us know. It shows how involved they are. They want to make sure we're all good. I still will belt whip you if you're mean, though. My brother texted. I liked the bit. Come on. Good Lord. Come on, Whoopi. Are they done so I can turn it back on? Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
Why don't you guys just love us? Thick and thin. I love you. Thick and thin. Better or worse. Yeah, we're married here. Rich or poor, dude. We're married. Sickness and in health. Come on. Anyway. Well, we'll just take the house, I guess. Yes, I just don't know humor. Yeah. Apparently, we're just idiots. Apparently, we're just a bunch of morons. Let's hang them up. Garrett, we're out. I told you guys not to do it. Well, you didn't even know. You didn't say a word. B.S. Mikey told me about the idea. I said it's the stupidest thing I ever said. Every one of your M1s are going to turn on you. No, they're not. Especially the ones you thought you knew. The ones that we thought were our friends. That's right. They are the ones that turned on us the most. Yeah, that's true. Well, yeah, I don't blame them. I would have never done something like that back in Mobile. When I worked with Booger and Twitch, they brought the idea up to me one time. I said, it's not a good idea. You're going to make too many people mad. Now, back then, it was a telephone. Just a straight-up telephone. It's a normal ring. Rotary telephone. I said, don't do it. Well, they didn't listen to me. They did it. And? They got fired the next day. Oh, no. So if y'all are gone tomorrow, I wouldn't be surprised. Garrett, please. Don't you have some say in that? I will try to talk Rick Jackson out of it. You think he's going to want to can us today?
I think Rick's wanted a candy for a while. No, he loves those. Ratings ain't everything. Did you hear what I said, Woods? I heard you. I said ratings ain't everything. Aren't they? They're part of the equation, but they ain't everything. Well, you know, we're good, solid citizens, most of us. Yeah. And we are nice people. Except for you, everybody. I am a reformed good citizen. Haven't been in trouble in exactly a year. That's right. Wow. Yeah, I got a year under my belt. Feast. Look at that. Congrats. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Congratulations, buddy. You shook hands. I know you're proud. I'll wait another year for a shake your hand. Oh, boy. Just kick a guy when he's down. It's sad anyway. M1 Nubian Prince from Motai Mesa. Hello. Hello. You guys, I stopped doing drugs like two and a half years ago.
I was like, dude, am I hearing this in my head? Thank you for calling in and telling us. Oh, no. Poor guy. We're like, what? No, that's hysterical, but I seriously was tripping out, dude. Thank you. Oh, that's awesome. That's why it was. That's a deal. People were fearful and sad. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Real fearful. Very fearful. M1 Tom from Rancho Bernardo. Hey, guys. You know, I see everybody going crazy on Facebook. Oh, yeah, I was working. I'm an electrician. I'm working upstairs. I'm like, what the heck is going on? I'm looking at everybody. I'm taking my headphones out of my ear, taking my phone. I don't have a Blackberry, but I have an iPhone. What's the deal? What's going on? I'm looking around. I'm like, Jay's a liar. Because he's like, oh, I'm not getting any text messages. No, he's full of it. I knew it. So good job, guys. It was awesome. Thank you. Everybody needs to relax online. Thank you very much. Deep breath, everyone. That really hurt my feelings. I know. Mine too. I feel sad. I'm really bummed out. I want to leave. They'll come back around. Why do people hate us? It's all my fault. So sorry. Trying out something new to make you laugh. Well, let's just change the subject then. So you guys want to talk about cancer or something? Yeah, you guys.
I got a couple ideas. Now, they might bum people out, but what do you think about clubbing dolphins? It's a topic. That's all I'm saying. It's a topic. All right. So, a little kid wanders onto a train track. Now, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. I'm just saying. I'm throwing ideas. It's called... Brainstorming. We should do who you want to pull your plug. I want to pull Mikey's. I'll be the guy. Let's do it. I'll say it. I'll be the first to go. Mikey's. Mikey. I vote Mikey's plug. If you had to pull a plug in the room right now, who's what you pull? Who's what you pull? Mikey. You have to. Please. Can you? Yes. Yes, please. This will make them once happy. Yes. This will make them once happy. This is the greatest. So this was a few weeks ago. We're doing a meeting and we do our show meeting on Wednesdays. And we all come in. We have ideas like the one you just heard, which was mine. Apparently brilliant idea. And so everyone hates us. So this particular day, I guess Jay had been listening to Depeche Mode the night before. The cure of disintegration. He was at a funeral. He was at a funeral. And he comes in and he's just like, okay, so guys, I got a couple ideas.
this one he's like this one might be kind of sad but um all right so what do you think about if we bring up the topic of like kids that get, you know, hit by cars or something. I can't remember what it was. It was crazy. It was so depressing about wills. It was about doing your family trust. Right, right. And we all looked at each other and we were like, I don't know, man. That's kind of sad. Because mine was like, let's do like a candy eating bit or something. He's like, all right, let's move on to another one. Worst way that you've lost a parent. I don't know. That seems kind of sad. It was like black death in the end of the day. I looked at Jen and was like, dude, are you alright? You want to hang out after? Okay, fine. You probably won't want to do this one, man. The saddest time you lost a pet. This is true. That's exactly true. And we were like...
Jay, these are sort of sad. And he's like, well, fine, fine. I read an article about a woman. That had lost her husband in the war. So I thought maybe we'd talk to veterans and veterans' widows. I'm like, oh, man. Because, you know, we live in a military town. Right. And we're like, holy cow. Didn't he say that he wanted to be the one to pull the plug on you? Yes. Yes. I'll do my game. He seriously goes, he goes, what if we did this as a fun game? We said, if you had to pull the plug on somebody on our show, who would you pull the plug on? Not Dan. I'll go first, Mikey. I ain't what I said. What I said was the person who's going to pull my plug is my friend. And, Mikey, you need someone to pull your plug. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I will be the person for you. I will pull your plug. I will gladly pull your plug. I'll watch the life drain right out of your face. If you need that person, I'm there to do it for you. If you want somebody to be there to watch your last breath and life leave your body.
I'll do it. And then try to date your wife after you're gone. Then I will. Just hug her. I will. I will. Mikey, how about the topic is Mikey with one of those machines going, you know? I kill you. And then we'll see. There it is. So Mikey's got this thing attached to him. And then the topic will be. How fun would it be to unplug Mikey? Ready? One, two, three. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Y'all ready now? Now are you ready? All right, Mikey. And then I'll yell out, clear. Do you think people are still mad at us? They're listening to us like, huh? They're like, huh? Huh? That's kind of funny. Kind of funny, but I hear you. They're trying not to laugh. So funny I forgot to laugh. Idiots. Idiots. I hope they laugh. I will pull the plug on you, though. I will. But just so you know, I won't bring it up as a topic again. As a friend. But I'll kill you. All right? Hey, maybe we talk to people that have been abducted by the Mexican mafia. Let's talk to flatliners. Okay. Let's flatline. Call in.
Did you ever used to be a heroin addict? Have you been dead and now you're back? Have you ever used a dirty needle in a crack house? Have you gotten an infection so bad you lost a limb? Give us a call. Have you lost a limb from diabetes? What's the biggest limb you ever lost from diabetes? It's just a topic. Fine, if you don't want to do it, we won't do it. Fine, let's do a BB gun challenge. You know, you guys, you can just say no. That's all you got to say. A simple no will surprise you. Wow. You know, it's brainstorming. There ain't no bad ideas in brainstorming. Apparently. It's called throwing stuff against the wall, and if it dies, gets mutilated or stabbed, then we do it. Oh, my gosh. Wow. True story. That is a true behind-the-scenes look at a Mikey Show meeting. I'll pull that stone bitch and play. And enjoy it. We're sorry. It's Rihanna Downey. Local musician. And she will be in here tomorrow at this time. And she's going to sing this song live. I love it. So we've been dealing with. Mixed emotions. Mixed emotions. The fallout. Yeah. We're dealing with the aftershocks. The aftermath.
I'm just trying to clean it all up. Sorry. Really sorry. Sorry we provide you with three hours and 56 minutes quality programming. And four minutes. Four minutes of something that you don't like. Please don't bash us on Facebook. We meet for hours a week trying to come up with good stuff, you know? I mean, we try. Just kill ourselves, really. We try stuff. Sometimes it doesn't work, but it doesn't mean you have to hate us. It's breaking our backs. And by hate, I mean hate. Like spit venom. Like venom. It makes me think you hated us all along. And now that I played a honking noise. And an alarm. And an alarm. You're like, I can let my hate run rampant. You were looking for an excuse over this past year. And now you've got one. If you want to go to another station.
Go ahead. Don't use the bit as your excuse. Yeah. We want you here, though. I mean, we tried. We love you. We love you. We really do. We're breaking our backs over here. If we had no phones ring, it would turn you crazy, people on us. Yeah. It's wild. Loyal listeners are saying we lost them. It really stabs me right in the heart. Kind of in the back. Yeah, in the back, too. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener today is Alan. It's Alan. Alan. I bleed, too. I just want to throw that out there. Yeah. We're like human, I mean. Yeah. I know that I'm kind of like a superhero to some people, but I have feelings. I have. You know? I'm very emotional. When you say you're kind of like a superhero to some people. Yeah. Like, to who? I get messages and stuff. That say, hey, you're like a superhero to me. You're like a superhero to me. Could you furnish those messages? I delete them as I go. I get a lot, so I have to clean house. Right. You know, hey, I'm not made of steel. I defy you to produce one email message that says. I could have. I didn't know that I'd need to prove myself. I thought you would take me at my word. Understandable. But you also say that you are a semi-pro baseball player. I am. But you play for the Tipsy Crows. Right, in the Premier Baseball League. Premier.
Define premier. Okay. Define premier. Premier means like, you know, like the elite. Okay, exactly. Enough said. Okay, but that's not necessarily Major League Baseball, you know. Right. That's the upper, upper echelon. Upper echelon. Yeah, we're semi-pro. Semi-pro. Define professional. The Padres. No, no. Define what a professional is. That means that they do something at a level that is outside of the norm. In fact, it's extraordinary. Do they do it for free? No. It pays their bills, though. It's their occupation. It can in some cases, but they make money off of doing it. A professional. Well, let me ask you this. You play for the Tipsy Crows. I do. Pay for Play League, right? No. The league is. We do not pay. Because you're sponsored by the bar, the Tipsy Crows. Yes. The Tipsy Crows. How much are season tickets to Tipsy Crow games? They're on the house. They're on the house. Okay, which is good. That's always good. Anybody can come. Anybody can go. You guys can come if you cared. You can just go to the game. About your friend. Yeah, yeah. And his interest. Is there corporate skyboxes? No, there's no corporate. Well, there's really no skyboxes. There is not skyboxes. No. Corporations do sponsor some banners at some of the fields that we play on. Got it.
What kind of fields? Elementary school? High school. High school. Does the team furnish security for you guys or anything? No, but we all carry our own bats, and we're all pretty tough dudes. Right, so you don't necessarily need security. I mean, we're not prima donnas. We're ballplayers. Do any portion of the fields double as also a soccer field? No. Okay. None of the ones that we play on now. Okay. This year. Do you guys always stay at the same hotels on the road? On the road is a tricky thing because all of our games are, well, I guess all of our games are away games. What happens is they designate, they being the premier baseball league. The premier baseball league. They designate who is home and who is away before you get there. You wear like your white uniform or your... No, we just have one uniform. Gray pants, black shirt that says Tipsy Crows across the front. Okay, so that is both your away and home uni. Correct.
Okay. Now, you play at the same place is what you're saying? Same city. Same city. Okay. Yes. Do you have to hire a money manager to manage your finances? My wife and I handle our finances. Okay. I didn't have to hire anybody. Again, we're smart guys as well as tough, and we handle our own business. Do you guys have baseball cards or anything like that? We could. I did it in Little League. I had my own baseball card, but you grow out of that stuff. That's kind of for kids. Yeah, it's kind of for kids. And you pay for it. The pros, though. Yeah, you can. Question. Do the wives all sit in the same section and hang out? Sure, yeah, the bleachers. Outside the games? It's called the bleachers. They don't always come, but... They don't. Behind a dugout? Okay, wait a minute. It's off the first bay side. There are some bleachers, and all of our wives and girlfriends usually sit together, yes. Okay, for instance, last game. How many wives and girlfriends would you say were there for the last game? Three. Okay, okay. Three out of 12. Okay, okay. Mascot? Yeah. No, there's no mascot. All right. They're like out of town and just couldn't make it? Yeah, just couldn't make it. It's far. Oh. One last question about you and your semi.
Professional. Professional baseball. Semi-professional. I'm not saying I'm professional. We're semi-professional. Semi. So is opening day just a madhouse in terms of parking? You know, the parking at the high school that we played at on opening day, it was a little tight. It was. It was a little tight. It was. Yes, it was. Snack bars? No, we bring our own snacks. You bring your own snacks? You can't get a hot dog or anything like that? You can get a hot dog at 7-Eleven, which is right across the street, and you can bring it over. Wait a minute. So if CNNJ and LOB and I decided that we wanted to come to one of your games, we could not go to the concession stand. No nachos? If we play at Hoover High, there is a 7-Eleven right down the street. If we play at El Cajon High, there is a Chevron, I believe, right on the corner. So you get anything you want there. Got it. And actually probably a little bit cheaper than at a real concession stand. There you go. So there's a benefit. Uh-huh. You know, for sure. It's clear now. M1 Veronica from Escondido. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Please don't hate us. No. Okay. I was angry at first because I'm in an office and my door was open and I'm hearing all these phones ring. And so I didn't know if it was you guys or the people in my office. I know. And all their phones ringing. I shut the door and then I hear it. And then I'm thinking, what if someone is messing with my Internet feed? Because I wasn't on the Internet. Yeah. And then you said it was you guys.
I was angry. Total hurt sadness fear. Hurt sadness fear? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Major hurt sadness fear. But I love you. I love you guys, too. You know that. You know that. But Jay's voice, totally redeemed everything. Talking about his ideas at the meetings. Pulling the curtain back on Jay real good. Okay, good. It always helps. I'm glad good came from that. It did. And I was starting to laugh. And now... I'm not as angry, but I still love you guys. Thank you. I got one more idea. Yeah, what is that? What if we did a bit where we talk about, like, the blindest person that you've ever met? I was driving home. I saw a C&I dog get hit by a car. Yeah, we can talk about that. Maybe that's something out of that. Hey, why don't we bring up the topic? What's sadder than sad? Okay? And the first topic will be, what if a nuclear bomb dropped on a bunch of puppies? Next. Next? Then you go. Sienna's like, oh. And that's really sad. Well, could generate some stuff, you know. I'm just spitballing here, guys. Hey, what if we do, I got an idea. We're going to do a new game. It's called Word Picture. Okay? So picture great white sharks eating puppies.
That's called, the game is called Word Picture. How's that Word Picture, Jay? Well, you picture it. Picture them words. Picture them words. That's just kind of like storytelling. All right. How about this one? It's not storytelling. It's Word. It's called Word Picture. Okay. Okay. It's time for Word Picture. Word Picture. It's time for Word Picture. All right. Here's the first Word Picture of the day. You ready? Yeah. Lithuania in a coal mine trapped. Jay's getting mad. The real day? I would say that we play in Mikey's blood for a game. All right. So let's say the Woods family tries to adopt a kid. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Woods. Too soon. Too soon. Laughter is the best medicine. You guys look at a kid. I don't know what to say. You should just get mad at the TV station for being on while that happens. It had to be done, dude. All right, let's see. It had to be done. Charlie Sheen. This is coming on NBC. They're doing a Today Show thing with him, and I want to see what it is. Jeff Lawson has the details. Jeff, good morning. Hi, Natalie. Good morning to you. Charlie Sheen called us back up on Monday and said, come back over the house. I have more to say to you. And this time, we went and got a real glimpse into his life. His publicist quit. Because any publicist would say, no more. Stop.
He's unmanageable. Stop. Behind closed doors, what we don't normally see, including a rare interview with the new women in his life, two of them who are helping to raise his children. Charlie calls them his goddesses. Oh, boy. How are we on this? It's Charlie Sheensburg. They look like two 23-year-old girls. If that. No, they look younger than that. Like 17. Yeah. Do they really? 19. ...of domestic bliss at home with the new loves of his life. One, a self-described porn star he calls Rach. The other, a model he calls Natty. We run errands, we eat, we play with the kids. We think of fun plans and actually get them. Yeah, we watch movies. I watch a lot of Two and a Half Men. Do you love his kids? Are you kidding? I was just up there with him right now. Bob was like, I didn't want to put him down. I'm like, they're like, they're calling you. I'm like, I don't want to put him down. And he's like, can I come? He's like, okay. He's like, bye. What's he like? I was like, he was like, he was just like, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. So, well, I was about to ask the question, but then I was like, no, yeah, I guess he does. He does. He still gets him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pays for him. No. No, that's not what I was talking about. Not these brats.
That's not what I was talking about. I wasn't talking about the girls. The kids? He still gets the kids. Oh, I know. Yeah. The kids still get to come over. Yet I can't get one. How's that fair? I read an article where he just bought $800,000 worth of cars and he gave them to the girls. Oh, my gosh. When you make $2 million an episode of your show that's been on for eight seasons, I think you're just fine with money. Just give less than half a day's work and worth of cars. No, Bob gets it. If you say dad's busy, he goes, okay, dad, dad busy. He knows. He knows, and he's fine with it. Is this pretty normal? I mean, pictures of the kids on the fridge? I mean, aside from the days when we sit there with a big old palm fronds and a sandwich. Wait a minute. Don't run with that. Don't run with that. I'm joking. Charlie told me that you can put him in his place and he'll take it. When he's wrong, you put him in his place. Do you? I don't. No, no, let her answer. How old are these girls? 22. I'm trying to look it up right now. 21, 22. The one on the right looks like 19. I don't generally have to. By the way, if you're just tuning in, these are two girls standing in Charlie Sheen's kitchen. Looks like a normal dude's kitchen. And you hear his kids in the back. Denise Richards must be going out of her mind. One would hope. One would hope she'd be there beating the door down.
She can't. I mean, he gets custody. How is that possible? I respect Charlie as a man, and I respect Charlie's, yeah, he's just chomping Oreos. As the head of this household, and trust him completely. If there's something I think is a little bad of an idea, I might say, hey, babe, you know, let's think about it this way. And, you know, it works. The system works for us. Is she grinding? Yeah. Is she full on grinding her teeth? Maybe had a little powder. A little. Was she grinding her teeth? Yeah, watch it. It's insane. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm going back. You can't see that? No. If there's something I think is a little bad of an idea, I might say, hey, babe, you know, let's think about it this way. And, you know, it works. The system works for us. She's sure talking a lot, too. She is grinding her teeth. Yeah. Oh, man. Just yacked out of her trees. I was wondering why she just... The goddesses now live with Charlie, almost always around at his Los Angeles mansion. Yeah, man, it's a good day at Sober Valley Lodge. Sober Valley Lodge. His nickname for in-home rehab. Late Monday, we took him outside for a candid conversation about his history with women. What do these two women do for you that other women in your life haven't? You've chosen women before that you have loved, Denise Richards, Brooke Mueller. Yeah, these women don't judge me.
They don't judge me. They don't lead with opinion. They don't lead with their own needs all the time. They're honest enough to tell me, hey, look, park your nonsense. You're going to help me solve this. And we solve it. Because what I tell them is don't live in the middle. Get away from your emotions. Get away from your ego. And therein lies the solution. Are these women allowed to say to you, Charlie, you're being a jerk? Oh, yeah. Can they talk back to you? Yes, those are the best jokes of the day. Yes, we have an open dialogue. They put you in your place? Everybody's vote has equal importance, but when we're approaching crisis, I remind them. What does that look like, by the way? Approaching crisis? Yes. What does approaching crisis at the Sheen House look like? It's a hell of a crisis. Excuse me. It's the Sober Valley Lodge. Sorry. It's not the Sheen House. Sorry about that. What does crisis look like at the Sober Valley Lodge? Fascinating. I'm 22 years further down the road. I'm 22 years further down the road. They're 24, both of them, I just found. I can't believe it. Wow. And he's 45. One of them called him babe. Yeah. Trust me that most of the time, well, in the last few days, all the time, my plan is going to be the best one in the room. So just trust me on that and everybody will win. Everybody will win and everybody's needs will be taken care of.
Oh, my God. Including, he says, his young children. Charlie's twin boys spend a lot of time at his house. There are nannies, but Charlie's angels play a role, too. Do the goddesses help raise your kids? Are they with your kids? Do they love your children? Yeah, if I can't be there, they're there. And it's like everybody helps out. And I don't know. There's nothing broken here. Yeah, nothing to see here. It's all good. Silver Valley Lodge in the house. Yeah. Those twin boys are with his soon-to-be ex, Brooke Mueller. Denise Richards, they have two girls together, which are with Denise most of the time. But he sees them. A lucky Brooke. Yeah, well, she's not doing very well herself. She's been in and out of rehab, too. Oh, boy. Poor boys. They're the sweetest little boys, too. One looks exactly like his mom, and one looks exactly like Charlie Sheen. But some would say everything is broken. Wait, I'm still in pain. Try and hang in there. His hit sitcom, Two and a Half Men, has been shut down for the rest of the season, based, according to CBS and Warner Brothers, on Sheen's statements, conduct and condition. Warner Brothers has agreed to pay the crew of Two and a Half Men for four episodes. Good, good. It's a start. It's a start. I won't sleep till they get eight. And then I'm going to work on my cast and I'm going to worry about myself last.
In our first interview that aired Monday here on Today, Charlie promised he's clean now. Look at me, duh. Drug tests don't lie. When was the last time you did drugs? Don't remember, don't care. Drug tests don't lie. Scoreboard doesn't lie. And in our new interview, he brought us what he calls the proof. Good point. These are the results of the drug test you just took. Yeah, the word negative is printed like 18 trillion times. A lot of people watched the interview and said... He's crazy. Of course. He's saying warlock. He's saying he has tiger's blood. But when you watch yourself saying that, what do you say to yourself? I'm entertained as hell. I'm not saying that it's not true, but I'm laughing, and I'm laughing with the goddesses. I'm laughing with my friends, and everybody's like, well, did they expect it to be like a normal interview? Did they expect it to be conventional and boring and whatever else? No, man. We're shaking the tree. We're shaking all the trees. What do you want to say to the fans? There are a lot of fans out there who are worried about you. No, don't be worried. Don't be worried. Celebrate this movement. And I love and I'm so grateful that you have supported me and the show for so long. And I will not let you down. Trust me. Oh, that didn't spin. Charlie says he's happy and feeling better than ever. That's nice. That's nice. Playing baseball with friends, working out, and spending more time with the goddesses. Our life is awesome.
confident all this free time is temporary, saying he'll return to the show soon as the star. And I'm just going to keep pressing the truth. And the truth is going to flush everybody out into the light. And we're going to have an open dialogue about it. And we're going to fix it. And it's going to be good. And everybody's going to win because they followed. Guess who's playing? Mine. It's it's it's you know, as we're watching right now, I was thinking to myself, man, I'm 40, 40 years. I've never seen any. celebrity do this right in front of everybody no call people back dude they when a celebrity screws up for lack of a better word they go into hiding almost all the time yeah and when they screw up it's usually sort of a it wasn't on camera right it was captured maybe it was captured like when britney did the hair thing it was captured yeah they took pictures of it through a window right she didn't like go
Hey, come over and watch me shave my head. You know? This is, it's unprecedented. And it's just, you can't turn away. You know, I use this phrase a lot. Fast forward the tape. I just, where does the Charlie Sheen thing go? Does he end up dead? I hope not. I mean, you hope not because he's a talented guy with a lot of kids. I know you hope not, but where can it go? It can go into the worst place, and that's death. It has to. It has to. I mean, what do they say when you do those things? They say death or jail. What if this is an elaborate bit? What if he's just going way out? The Joaquin Phoenix bit? He's just going, hey, you know what? Here's a chance just to go completely crazy and then reinvest all these people in my success when he comes out of the other side. He was already on top, so why? He's bored. I don't know. It's just crazy. I mean, it's just a strange time to do that bit. Well, you know, the facts are indisputable that he ordered a thirty thousand dollar briefcase full of cocaine to his house. I mean, that happened. Everybody knows that he got in trouble for that. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, I knew that. That's that's how he got busted. That's how he got in trouble. His neighbor called. Remember, after he ordered this big briefcase full of blow and he was sitting there smoking rocks.
No. And that's how everything went down. I just remember the hotel room. Yeah. Vegas. Oh, that's it? Oh, I'll show you guys. Dude, if you have $30,000 worth of cocaine, you go to prison for the rest of your life. That's what I thought, bro. That's what I thought. This was huge. It was the day my parents got in town. It was on the news. Why aren't they asking him about this right now? I don't know. He's a junkie. He's a straight up junkie. Are you sure that isn't gossip? I am positive. That's a fact. I thought it was just that the lady said you saw it. We played a call on the air. From the wife of a doctor that lives next door to Charlie Sheen. And they were the ones that called 911. Because he had this briefcase full of blow over there. And all these people, they were partying. It was gnarly. Gnarly. Kids. Yeah, poor kids. They are the sweetest little things. He has five kids. It's insane. 570-1949 is our number. Or if you want to text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. Welcome. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is The Police. Gary. Outlandos Demoir. Right? Sure. Demoir. I hope I said that right. Let's see. I'm obsessing. 570-1949. Or you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Woodsy, you got new releases?
Yeah, I do. What do we got today? As a matter of fact, my friend. Well, this band I was really excited about and waiting for. It's basically three members of Oasis. Liam Gallagher, Jem Archer, and Andy Bell. Noel left the band. So Liam, the kind of D-head brother, started his own bit called BDI. This is them. You don't like it? I don't. It just reminds me of how good Noel Gallagher is and how important he is for that band. He is the man. And it's without him. Yeah. Sinking ship, dude. So he's got a solo record coming out I'm looking forward to. The Dropkick Murphys going out in style. Every song every time I sang. Yeah, it sounds like Dropkick Murphys. These guys ever had a fresh beer? Guinness. Guinness Stein. Those guys ever been moshing on dirt floor? These guys ever been to a Red Sox game real good? Ever play rugby? Ever punch your best friend in the face? You ever make out with a girl with...
Maybe three teeth missing. Ever date your friend's sister? Ever have a sister named Claire? Wow. Wow. I can't even compete. You got nothing. You got nothing. Incredible. This is Alexander, and it says next to it, Edward Sharp in the Magnetic Zeros. I think it's maybe one of their members. It's called Alexander. The singer? Yeah, I guess. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. So he needed to branch out from Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros? It's getting too old, you know. Too many people on stage. After one record. I guess one big record. Sounds like Edward Sharp to me. It does. Isley, The Valley. All ends. Sounds great. Sounds like... I like it. Yeah, me too. Oh, this one.
This one got me. You said you were in? Well, here's the deal. Don't say who it is. Okay. There's a country artist that's releasing a new country album. That's better than the first song we heard. I think I read about this. That sounds better than the first one we heard. I love me some slide guitar. Dude, I love the slide, man. That's Aaron Lewis from Stained. He says he's a country boy. He grew up in the South. He didn't, though. That's what he says. He grew up in Boston. He did? Yes. That's what's tripping me out about the whole thing is that they're from, like, Boston, Massachusetts. Maybe he had family that he would, like, visit. Maybe, but I know, like, I heard an interview with him, and he has, like, a ranch now, and he's doing that whole bit. Yeah. Which has been known to happen. Yeah. And he is doing country music. And the first single called Country Boy was terrible. I thought it was terrible. Yeah. That didn't sound too bad to me, but his new album's called Town Line. I liked it.
You mean in the country, but just not down south. Yeah. Country. Massachusetts. The country part of Boston. Where they have all the ranches in Boston. More country than Shania Twain in Canada. That's true. That is true. Keith Urban. Keith Urban. And then finally, Lucinda Williams, Blessed. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Like it should be naked. You should be naked. Making love. Making love. Mikey's slowly smoking a cigarette. A skinny, skinny, long cigarette. And then on DVD out today, I know that Mikey and Jay are probably really excited, but Burlesque is out and Cher and Christina Aguilera. Mikey. You used to get transgendered prostitutes. That's true. So if there's any of us that are really interested, it would be you. And then Faster with The Rock is out and 127 Hours is also out on DVD. I want to see that. James Franco. Is it good? I want to see it. Love and Other Drugs with Anne Hathaway. I heard she gets naked. Oh, I'm all in. You see like nothing but her boobs the entire time. That's a win-win. Love and Other Drugs. Check it out. At least her boobs are better than her face. Jake Gyllenhaal's in it. He's shirtless a lot. What is his butt? She goes, I don't want to know. It's funny. It's not dirty. She said her boobs are better than her face. It's true. It's better than her red in her mouth.
I don't know. I think her boobs are not great. Never say it. Anne Hathaway. I have a strong dislike. She's a girl next door. That's what they say. She is not. She's pretentious and annoying. She's not. She's a girl next door. No big deal. That's so lame. I didn't want to be knocked up because I thought that it was just too private of a moment. So I thought I'd just show my boobs to everybody. Over and over and then host the Oscars and talk about it. That sounds freaking identical to Anne Hathaway. Well, I mean, listen, Anne Hathaway has a right to refuse a role. Yeah, and you know what I did? I made room for Katherine Heigl because otherwise she wouldn't have had a career. So basically I just thought if you're going to use a prosthetic hoo-hoo, don't let it be mine because that's just too sacred of an area. So tell me, when they first asked you, were you nervous? When you get the call, Bruce Cohen, Don Misher call and say, we want you to do the Oscars. Do you want the real story? Yeah. Okay, I've never told the real story yet. Okay, I want to hear the real story. So the real story is I was waiting to hear back to hear if I'd been casting Catwoman, as Catwoman. Uh-huh. And my manager called me and said, are you sitting down? And I just go, oh, my God, here it comes.
She's like you're about to hear something you will never hear again in your whole life. I'm like, okay, and she goes You've been asked to host the Oscars. I'm like I'm Catwoman. What? Clap if you're with me I don't know. I'm a huge fan. You would be, Jay. That's a huge Helen Hunt fan. No. Jessica Tandy! Now there's a handsome woman. Helen Hunt! Jodie Foster. Big Jodie Foster fan, you know? You know, the great Helen Hunt, Jodie Foster, Anne Hathaway. All the hottest pieces in Hollywood, for sure. Barbara Eaton. Sigourney Weaver is gorgeous. Sigourney Weaver. Amy McDowell. Oh, my God. Mikey Show, I know this is kind of a medical question, but I thought you could maybe throw this out to your listeners since I've heard that they have helped people before. My wife.
has been a sleepwalker since i met her she used to randomly wake up sleeping on the ground or i'd wake up and she'd be trying to stand up but it's gotten progressively worse the other night i woke up and she was putting on her socks and the entire drawer was pulled out of the dresser oh my god wow i used to laugh it off now i'm starting to get worried she's actually gotten two broken toes yeah oh my gosh from walking into things or tripping. The doctors really haven't been very helpful. They've prescribed different antidepressants and told us how to safeguard me and how to not wake her up, but that's about it. Do you think you could throw it out there to M1s? Thanks, M1 Steel Train. Sure. I have not dealt with the serious sleepwalker. I have. You have? In college, my girlfriend at the time was a sleepwalker that one time woke up down the hallway. We had a high rise. I lived downstairs. She lived upstairs. It curled up in front of somebody else's door. Oh, my gosh. She curled up in front of somebody else's door? At least she told you she was sleepwalking. Well, she was sleepwalking. She fell down the stairs at her ex-boyfriend's house at his parents' home, fell down the stairs. Like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, all the way down. Oh, my gosh. My mom does sometimes, and my dad said one time she woke up and was swatting at...
invisible bats in her room just running around and my dad had to like grab her because they have huge windows in the room and they're up high like on a second floor kind of and uh she could have like if she had ran towards the window she would have gone through the glass because she was like swatting like crazy that's pretty scary stuff it is dude i used to have like you sometimes i would because i'm a light sleeper if you're like i'm like what the hell was that and so i would grab her and like just kind of forcefully like Hold her down. Isn't that what you're not supposed to do? It's probably exactly what you're not supposed to do, but I was in college. I didn't know any better. I'd probably still do the same thing now. I thought you were supposed to throw bacon grease on me. Hot, scalding grease. Kim does that. Kim would try to jump out of bed and take me with her. She's like, it's going to get us. I'm like, get back in bed, sweetie. Get back in bed. Now. Don't make me get my shotgun. Liberty fell out of bed and had to get stitches in her chin. She didn't fall out of bed. Was sleepwalking and then tripped and fell. I hired my entire family to sleepwalk. Uh-oh. Rebecca sleeps like a rock. She'll go to sleep. Sleep in the same exact spot. Same exact, like, just boom. Oh, she's so lucky. I know. She didn't wake up with light or, you know, me. Same thing as woods. Smallest noise. She can fall asleep and does. A mouse fart. Yeah, a mouse fart. I will. It sucks. I hate that TV on. Oh, my God. I hate the TV on so much.
Every night. Every night. Every night. I don't mind TV. I can't fall asleep with any noise, light, TV, anything like that. But then once I'm out, I'm pretty good. Coughing. I need a coffin. I need the distraction. Otherwise, I hear a small noise and I'll wake up. So if I fall asleep with noises, I'm more calm, like a baby. You like noises? I don't like it, but it will help me sleep better through the night if I fall asleep with noises on. I think the greatest place to sleep would be a heated safe. I think an ice-cold coffin. Yeah, me too. Would be the best. Big. A wide coffin. Okay. A big, wide coffin. The size of your bed. But with an electric blanket. Okay. I think a field in the sun where there's nobody around, but there's like itchy. It's making me itch already. I'm itching. I have allergies in your thing. Sleeping outside is the best. It is not the best. Yes, it is. I bet you there's a lot of homeless people that would beg to differ. Taking a nap outside is the best.
What are you? On a summer day. On a summer day. On the beach. If you fall asleep on the beach. It's true. You are good to go. Sleep like a maverick. I'm sunburned with third degree birds. Best sleep I ever had was in a sailboat and the bottom of it. Sailboat. What's a sailboat? Sailboat. It's like a prison boat. Sailboat. I don't even see it. Sail. That's what I said. Sail. Sail. I said it. I said sail. You idiot. Hello. Listen to me. I said a sailboat. I hope this door locks from the outside so I can just lock you clowns in there and leave you there tomorrow. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Good bit. Anyway, it's dark and it rocks the whole time. Do you have a waterbed? I would love that. Chances Jay had a waterbed in the 80s. I did. Chances Jay still has a waterbed. No. No, I reuse that for when my guests come. Fill it up with water. You get a good tidal wave going on that bed. I knew it. It's the ocean of the ocean. I knew he had a waterbed. I looked in his eyes and I go, he had a waterbed. You used to think those were so cool if somebody else had them, but the people that have them were like, you get one good day.
Tempur-pedic. I had the kind with the tubes. The water in the tubes. Oh, those are nice. Oh, those were great, man. But it's too... I want a Tempur-pedic. It's too squishy for me. What tubes? I don't know either. Yeah, we had these water tubes. And the water tubes had these big, like, sponges in them, so it wasn't, like, just sloshy. It was just the perfect amount of give. Water bed. Remember that? Yeah. It was bad when your heater went out. Did you ever have your heater go out on your bed? It wasn't heated, but it didn't get cold. I think it did. It is different. See, what you're thinking about is the old kind, which was just a big condom filled with water. That's what the old waterbeds used to be. A glad bag. Yeah, the old waterbeds used to be a glad bag filled with water. That's not what this was. What this was, the kind that I had was it looked like a mattress. Right. Okay, but you took the mattress, you grabbed onto it, and pulled it up, and it came off like a... And it was hollow inside. Hollow. Hollow. Hollow. And in that hollow shell was these big tubes with water inside of them and like a sponge-like material. Awesome. And so when you put the thing back on top, it just had this give. Yeah. You know, but it wasn't like sloshy. It was just this cool give. Do you wish you still had it? I do. I had that thing 15 years. Wow. And Rebecca was like, I know what's happened.
Get it out. When we got married, she said, that needs to go. This waterbed's a-rockin'. Don't come a-knockin'. I don't care if you're Abe Lincoln, George Washington. I don't care who you are. Don't come knockin'. So, Sienna, Lindsay Lohan's going to be on TV on an interview tonight? Yes. She just sat down with Extra, and the interview is airing tonight. on Extra, so we'll see what she has to say, but she's talking about her life right now pulling a Charlie Sheen. Really? Yeah. It's a new bit, maybe. Apparently. She seems more together than Charlie Sheen. Does she? Yeah. Well, everybody's more together than Charlie Sheen, but she is... She's not together, but she seems more together than Charlie. That's not saying a lot. No, but... It's like saying, hey, I'm not as fat as Oprah, but I'm still fat. You know what I mean? Well said. Thank you.
Yeah. That's so mean. You can throw Oprah under the bus. You couldn't fit her under a bus. You know that? Help me, Oprah! Oh, yeah. Kids aren't a fan. So we'll have some Lindsay Lohan stuff to be playing tomorrow, I'm sure. Yeah, we will. Just steal necklaces real good. She has bleach blonde hair now. Big lips. Looks like Barbie. Had her lips done. Botox. She had her lips done recently? Oh, yeah. Well, she had before she was in court last, too. She looked pretty foxy. She's a beautiful girl, man. She looks so pretty foxy, dude. Lindsay Lohan's a pretty girl. That makes my mouth water. But she's ruining herself for when she gets older. She's kind of like all sunken in and weird.
Stifler's mom. Lauren's face. Stifler's mom. I know. Exactly like Stifler's mom. Do you think? Identical. Yeah. Identical Stifler's mom in 20 years. No, come on. Yes, because all that, like, the plumpness that she has in her face. Not that, I mean, she's a thin girl, but you have, like, collagen and stuff. It's going to start to sink in. And then the stuff that's implanted collagen is going to stick out. Yeah. Stifler's mom. Identical. As women, when they're younger, they have fat on their face, like their face, big cheeks and stuff. Men, too. When I get older, my cheeks are going to sink in. Yeah. Men, too. That's what happens. How do the cheeks do the sink in thing? They lose the elasticity and collagen. It just hangs. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to look like a hag. You are not. I will. No, you won't. That's when you get Botox. Yeah. Make it right for yourself. No. Just grow old gracefully. Meh. Kid's going to get surgery soon. It's botulism. Do you think that that's... I mean, is there anything wrong with that? If it makes you feel better? No. No, whatever. No. You can't judge people. Dude, I'm getting this. This year, this will be gone. The little... The gullet will be gone. You guys won't know it. We'll go on vacation. Kid will come back and have a strong jawline. I don't think you should get so caught up in looks. I want a strong jawline. For once.
If it makes you feel better. I mean, I don't think you should get your lips done and stuff like that. And are you getting caught up in looks, Jay? Or is it more just, hey, it makes me feel better? Yeah, it's just ever chase to seem young and keep up with what's going on. So you're always going to be chasing that pony. What if you don't always chase it? We all will always be chasing it. Look, do I really care? All I want is this gobbler out. Well, you wouldn't have the gobbler. It's hereditary. It's hereditary. My mom had it. My aunt had it. My nanny had it. They all got it done. I'm doing it. My nanny had it. Yeah, my nanny. My grandma. Oh, okay. I was going to say, wow. Your nanny had it? Yeah, I mean, your nanny isn't related because she took care of you when you were a child. My Grammy. Your Grammy. My grandma. Let's see. Yeah, it's coming out. $1,500. That's how much it costs? I think so. It's not bad. M1 Gordon Bombay from Mission Valley. Hey, kids. Hi. I wanted to ask if you've ever seen a picture of Lisa Rinna and if you understand that that's exactly what Lindsay Lohan is going to look like. It's repulsive. I don't think that Lisa Rinna is repulsive. You should see her now, dude. Lisa Rinna? Yes. I have. I don't think she's repulsive. Oh, I do. Repulsive. She used to be gorgeous. She was beautiful and she put too much... That's not her now. It's not? Uh-uh. That's her then. Oh. I just saw her on something, like extra or something. She looks just...
Nasty. People are looking for temporary satisfaction, and it'll give a temporary plumpness to what you feel is not adequate enough. But then once gravity starts taking hold and the fake plumpness stays, you just look like a cat, a swollen cat. A little lipo wouldn't hurt me either. I'm pretty plump now. I'm plump. Pleasant. Did you find it? No. Every time I Google something. inappropriate things come up. What are you Googling? I typed in Lisa Rinna 2011. What's on there? Let me see. No, I already closed it. Turn on your safe search. Porn girl. I don't know how to do that. Is that what you're saying? Nope. I've seen worse. I've seen worse of her too. Yeah, because I don't think that she looks repulsive. That's a strong word. In fact, I don't know that I can think of anybody that's repulsive. Can't you? No. There you go. Let me see. Repulsive. Oh, I don't think that that looks like a repulsive. Oh, that's gross. It doesn't look like a real person. Yeah. You're making a strange face. It looks really like a wax. It looks like a caricature. It looks like that Genesis or Phil Collins video. Yes. Land of Confusion. Yes. All right. Sienna, tell me the oatmeals. Oh. Because I always thought oatmeals were good for you. You could eat oatmeal and make it.
Well, and especially we eat the oatmeal from Jamba Juice. It's supposed to be, you know. Constantly. It's supposed to give you fiber. Makes you. But I've heard that oatmeal is actually really can be real fattening. Depends on what they put. Exactly. Probably the way we eat it. Yeah. If you take it out of the, you know, Quaker oats and you just boil it, it's great. But as soon as you start making it taste good. Nope. It's bad. Adding a gram of milk and butter and brown sugar. Well, I'm going to give you ones in San Diego that are the healthiest oatmeal. So, I mean, for us, we're here and we want something kind of healthy and there's a Jamba Juice there. And Jamba Juice is, in fact, the number one on the list. Yes! Well, not... It's not really... They're one in different categories. What about when you put a big heaping tablespoon of brown sugar in it? Try four tablespoons. What this says is that the Jamba Juice plain oatmeal with brown sugar is 220 calories, 3.5 grams of total fat.
Yeah, Woodsy. Not bad. Now, there is a place that I've never heard of. Aubon? A-U-B-O-N? Aubon Pain? Yeah, I've never heard of that. Yeah, I really like their danishes. They're usually in airports. I'm kind of a Danish kind of story. You know that. That's a healthier oatmeal than there. It has less calories. The Starbucks, perfect oatmeal. Is a good one to have. And as well as McDonald's fruit and maple oatmeal, which we tried. It's a new one. That one has 290 calories. I just wonder if all this that you're mentioning has nothing in it. Like this is before all the junk. Well, they said you can do our brown sugar and we're good. Really? So I'm going to keep doing it. It says Jamba Juice plain oatmeal with brown sugar. 12 ounces, 220 calories. Just don't do the, I sometimes will do the extra, but I'm not doing that anymore. Aren't you? I do none. You do nothing. Look at you. Look at you. How dare you? She does nothing in hers. I say plain, no brown sugar. They're going to do a sequel to Dumb and Dumber. Well, they want to. And this one, they did a prequel. It was the worst. It was the worst. But this one would actually be a sequel with Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. And they're working on it after.
20 years later. Almost 20 years. 20 years? Can you believe it's almost been 20 years? Has it? Yeah, that's what it says. L.O.B. and Woods came over and showed me Dumb and Dumber. You were not feeling good. You were out of surgery. You didn't like it. We're going to do it again. It holds up after 20 years. Oh, yes, it does. We're going to do it again. No. Yes. Yeah, come on. Listen, Woods. Watch one movie. $60. Oh, that's right. For what movie? Kill Bill. How much for Apocalypse? I've seen it. I don't need to watch it again. And neither do you. Don't you have an iPad to be saving for? You're paying your friends to come over and watch movies. That is a good point. This is why you squander your money away. Paying me to watch movies? You almost gave him $250 to try hot sauce yesterday. He would have to. My wife almost killed me because I didn't do it. She said, what are you, stupid? You didn't do that? I go, no, I'm not doing it. Put me in the hospital. It wouldn't put you in the hospital. I wouldn't be able to eat for like two days. I don't do spicy foods. I'm sorry. Woods, but it would go away. Meat and potatoes, guy. It'd go away after about a half hour. It would last all day. Drink some milk. I don't drink milk. Oh, yeah. Chocolate milk. I eat donuts. Really? After half an hour, it'd go away, dude. It wouldn't. Yes, it would. Not in my mouth. I'm telling you, it's different for everybody. My mouth is different. My mouth's different.
That sounded weird. Why? Because he went, mmm. What is this thing about police making a game out of writing tickets? Well, the Bell Police Department, which is in, it's an L.A. suburb. there is evidence that they were engaged in an effort to go after people driving. Like they were calling it, there was a memo that was found called Bell Police Department Baseball Game, where if you gave someone a parking ticket that was a single, you got a double for vehicle impounds and home runs for felony arrests. So this police department is under federal investigation. You know who doesn't get mad at that? People that aren't getting felony arrests. Really? But you can't just be like going after cars. You can't just be arresting felons if you're a cop. But it's not a game. It's the law. It's the law. It's your job. Right. They are. They can't put people over unless they're speeding. They're probably betting on it. Maybe they don't speed. They might have some more incentive to plant things on people. Monetary. Yeah.
It doesn't matter. You can't be like, oh, man, I got a home run today. I got a felony arrest. Yeah. In your face. One run for me. It's not a game. It's not a game, dude. It's not a game, Mike. It's our life. Grow up. Maybe don't be a felon. Fair enough. Grow up, Mike. Maybe I won't be a part of their game. What about the parking ticket guy? Yeah. What do you mean? The guys get the single. Yeah. Doesn't he get some grace period? Not if there's someone Hawkeye in the car. Right. To get a single. Well, you can't get busted unless you do it. We're human. People make mistakes. People make mistakes. That's not a mistake. You didn't get back to your car. That could be a mistake. It's called be different, not be perfect. Exactly. That's fine. But if you didn't park there for the amount of time you're not supposed to, you're going to get a ticket. Maybe I was late because I was trying to help this little old lady. Yeah. Were there groceries? She was. I saw it. I was just 30 seconds late. But if you weren't trying to get a single, you would have, you know. Yeah. You weren't 30 seconds late.
They would get you for it. You had to get a single. Here's me. We went to that restaurant the other day. It was an hour. Okay? I knew. If I'm an hour and five minutes, I'm getting a ticket. I better not be an hour and five minutes. Maybe I'd get out there for the amount of time it says. I only paid for an hour, and we were longer than an hour. We were longer than an hour. And I didn't get a ticket. If I got a ticket, it's my fault, not theirs. But they weren't playing singles and doubles. Yeah, exactly. Just agree with us. It's not right. Stop making a game out of our lives. What they're doing isn't right either. It's not wrong. It's not right. Yes, it is. It's wrong. Why are you wanting us to fail? It's probably for money. It's probably for money. I'll tell you what. They want us to fail. You can't play the game unless you have people like me that are speeding. Can't play that game. Can't be a cop if there's nobody breaking the law. Maybe I shouldn't be speeding. Oh, boy. I just had to pay a ticket. I was speeding. It hurts us when we get tickets. We don't want them high-fiving and being like, double. Yeah. That's mean. One way to keep them from high-fiving me. Oh, boy. People make mistakes. Shouldn't be celebrated. I didn't make a mistake. Speeding? I was speeding. That's not a mistake. A mistake is you're walking, you trip on something you didn't know it was there. Mistake. Maybe you trip on your way to your car and you get a parking ticket. Your foot falls on the accelerator. It's a misjudgment. All right. Hillary's here. Hi, guys. How are you doing? Good. We were just talking about how the LA Police Department is using the parking tickets as a game. I don't know. I mean, listen.
Maybe it's not. If I were a cop, me and Woods were cops. We'd be playing. We'd be playing. We'd be playing like Mad Men. Yeah. And I'd be like, kid hit two doubles today. What'd you do? I got a single. For parking tickets or speeding tickets? Everything. Felony arrest is a home run. Uh-huh. Really? Yeah, but you don't get in trouble for it if you're not committing a felony. Yeah, if you're not a felon. If you're a felon, you're going to give somebody a home run. Yeah. One person's misery should not be somebody else's celebration. True. Should not take pleasure in somebody's misfortune. That is true. In their defense, though, cops and police officers have got to have one of the most stressful, thankless jobs a lot of times. So for them to find something, yeah, if people are legitimately breaking the law, for them to find something that gives them a little bit of levity in their days. I like the coppers. I like them too. I just don't really want to hear about it. It's me getting the ticket. I didn't used to. We didn't really get along. Let's see. Oh, hey, if you want to play golf with Woodsy and Jay, they're doing a charity tournament. It's called Do It for the Kids Foundation. And all you have to do is go to MikeyShow.com. They're going to play on Monday, right? Yes, Monday the 7th. There you go. So just go to MikeyShow.com, and you can bid there, and you'll be all dialed in. You get to play golf with Woodsy and Jay. Yeah, we're going to have fun. It'll be a good time.
What do you got coming up next? What did I grab? Silver Sun pickups? I grabbed the new Everest. They have one more of those Casbah shows left. No, tonight. Two more. One tonight, one next Tuesday. How are you doing? There you go. Yeah, all kinds of good stuff. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And I am about to go have lunch with our program director. Garrett! And see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey Show's out late.