The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/02/12
Friday, March 2, 2012
radio comedycelebrity redemptionsports retirementparenting and privacytechnology mishapsaddiction and recoveryradiomikey showlindsay lohansnlchris dielmannfl
Mikey, Steve Woods, and Lauren O'Brien turned everyday stories about online underwear shopping, a police encounter, and a teenage bedroom search into arguments about convenience, embarrassment, and parental boundaries. They debated whether Lindsay Lohan should parody her probation on Saturday Night Live and whether a fifth grader should walk two miles to school, weighing redemption and independence against timing and safety. Sports and odd-news bits honored Chris Dielman's retirement, reveled in Pete Weber's bowling outburst, and covered a speech-jammer gun, an autocorrect lockdown, and a bone-marrow donor's $2.9 million jackpot. At the close, Mikey disclosed childhood sexual abuse, addiction, and rehab, explained his Christian faith, and urged listeners facing depression or addiction to hold on to hope.
What happened, in order
Underwear and the Scholastic rush
Mikey defended buying underwear online and compared the thrill of frequent package deliveries to receiving a childhood Scholastic book order.
Lindsay jokes while on probation
Lindsay Lohan said she was willing to mock her troubles on Saturday Night Live, while the hosts argued over whether doing so before probation ended was reckless.
Chris Dielman walks away
Chargers guard Chris Dielman retired at 31 after a seizure, saying an early exit was painful but right for his family and long-term health.
Pete Weber claims it
The crew repeatedly replayed and celebrated bowler Pete Weber's explosive victory shout after he rolled the final strike he needed.
The speech-jammer gun
Mikey described a Japanese device that stops speech by playing a speaker's words back on a tiny delay, prompting arguments about libraries, domestic abuse, protests, and free speech.
Woods meets the phone cop
Woods recalled lifting his phone at a stoplight, being sarcastically scolded by a nearby police officer, and then enduring another light beside the same cop.
The two-mile school walk
An email about a fifth grader walking two miles to school sparked a debate over self-reliance, overprotective parenting, traffic, and the risk of predators.
Lauren's evidence-table interrogation
A discussion of parents reading children's texts led Lauren O'Brien to recount how her parents searched her room, displayed beer, cigarettes, condoms, and private notes on the kitchen table, and interrogated her after a
Autocorrect locks down a school
A student's mistyped message about being 'gunna' at West Hall autocorrected to 'gunman at West Hall,' reached the wrong recipient, and triggered a lockdown.
Bone marrow and instant karma
A 26-year-old Marine donated bone marrow to an anonymous patient and then won a $2.9 million penny-slot jackpot days later.
Dog treats defeat Woods
Woods admitted that the smell of chicken dog treats made him vomit in the sink and that dumping dog food had previously made him throw up in his yard.
Mikey's testimony of hope
Mikey disclosed childhood sexual abuse, years of numbing shame through addiction, his 2003 rehab and Christian conversion, and his conviction that listeners in crisis should stay for tomorrow.
People mentioned
MikeySteve WoodsLauren O'BrienLindsay LohanChris DielmanPhilip RiversPete WeberRobert Downey Jr.Whitney HoustonBobby Brown
34,636 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Now we are. You're kidding. Oh, we were not on the air. We were not on the air. Now we are on the air. Okay, anyway, so here's what I was saying. Here's what you just missed. Before we went on the air, I had my computer open. I said to Woods and LLB, would you guys have been weirded out if you had seen a guy in his underwear on my screen like this? And I showed it to him. And Woods started laughing and he's like, yeah, I think I would. Yeah. Why are you looking at men in their underwear? Yeah, and Woods goes, why are you looking at men in their underwear? And I go, because I'm buying underwear. And Woods and L.O.B. were just shocked at the madness. Perplexed. Perplexed. At the madness of buying underwear online. Now, so if we can, let's try to recreate this conversation. Okay. So. What is the issue here, Woodsy? I said, do you buy all your unmentionables online? And I said, yeah, you know, I don't like going to the store. But I tell you what, I would go to the store if I needed to buy something like celery. You know, I would definitely go to the store because. You said when you buy underwear, you have to have them right then and right now. That's the deal. I was like, Woods, I'm like.
Why do you have to have them right now? Like you need your underwear today. Well, you know, it's underwear is one of those things where if you're there and let's say I'm getting jeans and I'm at Banana Republic. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, let's probably grab some boxers too. It's not something that what's even weirder to me is you're doing the same thing, but you're seeking out in your mind. You're like, I need to buy new underwear. Well, you're doing the same thing. Well, this morning I saw a whole. In a pair of underwear near the waistband. And I was like, really? With the old underwear? Yeah. They were like faded. They weren't even that color. They'd been faded. They'd been washed and washed and washed and washed. And they were just, it was time. Yeah, seasonal purge. Yes. But I do most shopping online. Yeah, I know. We know. That's a personal preference. That's not the norm. Right. And is that a good word to use, enjoy? No, they're accustomed. They're accustomed to it. To shopping in a store because that's what usually where you buy goods. Now, hey, you know, people used to be accustomed to paying bills by writing out a check.
It's true. Some of us still do that. Yes, like Woods. And L.O.B., then there came the advent of something called online pay. It's a pretty crazy concept, but it turns out you don't have to write a check and put a stamp on it and put it in the mail. You can actually do it online. Well, it saves you money, and it's quicker. Yes. And it saves paper. Yes, many times these online sites. don't charge for shipping or they offer their products at a discount. But you can't see the product. Feel it. Well, no, you actually can, in fact, see the product. You see a picture of it. Because they have a photograph of it. You see a picture of it. Yeah, see, I don't need to take my underwear out of the bag at the store, you know, because they usually come in a plastic pouch, you know, of three. I've never once had to open the plastic bag, tear it open, take them out and feel... The fabric in my fingers. I've never, not once in all the years have I had to feel the underwear for myself. In fact, I believe they are underwear. There's no doubt in my mind what they are and what they do. So I've never had the occasion to take them out of the plastic wrapping. I think that it's twofold for you. One, you love shopping online. If there is a lull in your day.
It most likely will be filled buying something online. True. Most likely. Well, let me tell you. There is nothing better than when you are five years old, five to ten, and the teacher comes around and passes out the little catalog for books. It's the greatest. And your mom lets you get some books. The day those MFers. Come into school. And you see that box. I remember when I would see that box, I was the most impatient and the teachers would always be, they would be Guantanamo Bay torture experts. And they would be like, wait until after lunch. And recess. After recess. But recess is after lunch. Right. After lunch and after recess, hold your horses. We'll pass out. But they're here now. Why can't we have them? I see them in the box. The guy just dropped them off. I know you guys. If I give these out right now, all you're going to do is be looking at your books. Don't worry. They're not going anywhere. And that was the voice of a 28-year-old woman who had developed self-control. At 5 to 10 years old, all you wanted was the freaking book. Did you guys ever experience when the... I can't remember what it was called. It was book day, I think it was called. The book fair in our school. The book fair.
was rad but do you remember like there were some times when you filled it out that you only filled out you only got a couple and when you got them you're like oh cool but the mother load days like my mom was like you've been very good yeah pick whatever you like and i'm like I never got those days. I had a mother load day where I was like, what's up, dude? Who wants a taste of this? Mother load day. Yeah, I never got mother load day. I got mother load day. I would imagine that would be a good day. Yeah. If you have five kids in your family, you don't get mother load days. You get hand-me-downs. That's fair enough. L.O.B., did you get to order books? Yeah, but the once a year deal, I didn't get mother load day. Yeah, and it was like, you can pick, you know, X, Y, Z, and that's it. Yeah. Oh, man. I believe the rule over, and you can ask yourself, well, what was your rule? As you're driving in your car, ask yourself, what was your parents' rule for you? Do they still do it? Do you know? I don't know if they still do it, but everybody listening right now probably did it when they were a kid. No question. They probably do iPod app day. Or iPad app day. iPad app day. Dad, I really want this app. Yeah. But just ask yourself, how excited were you?
When you came into class and there was that box. Oh, man. A brand new set. Well, that's me ordering online. Yeah. So you do it like that. You get to experience that damn near four or five days a week. A couple times a day. A couple times a day. In fact, your UPS. Delivery guy. Yes. Was in here in the studio once before. Correct. And said that sometimes. He was an on-track delivery guy. If we, you know, just to be accurate. Just to be accurate. On track. He said that he will sometimes go to your house twice a day with packages. True story. Well, he's got his 8 a.m. run, but he also has the 320. Right. Well, you know a lot about his schedule. Yeah. He now. you know, has come into the studio. I don't know. I don't know my mail guy. Scan-wise, it's called the ZR1. That's the scan that, you know, not that I keep track of his delivery schedule or anything like that, but, you know. What do you do with all the packaging? I feed it to seagulls is what I do. What's a seagull? A seagull. What's a seagull? It's not a seagull. What's a seagull? He's a seagull. There you go. Seagull. Seagull. Weirdos.
Yeah, I feed it to seagulls or I feed it to dolphins. Just throw it in the ocean sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I take a bunch of old tires, stuff them inside, and burn them. Terrible. I'll take the boxes, put them inside old tires, and burn them. Douse them with gasoline. And styrofoam. And styrofoam and set them ablaze. Lest anyone that's listening think that you're kidding, you are not. No. Then I'll take, or sometimes what I'll do, I'll take plastic bags. And I'll put a dolphin inside of it. Then put that in stuff that. It's like a turducken. Yeah. And stuff that inside of the. It's a tire ducken. It's a tire ducken. It's a tire ducken. Both of you. Tire dolphin. M1 Jamie from San Clemente. Are you there? I am. Good morning. Good morning. They still do the book thing. It's the scholastic books now. And I'm the room mom that's in charge when the box comes. Monster. You monster. Oh, my God. It's so funny. It's like the kids are going to pee their pants. Yeah. They're like, yep. But now they sell like DS games on there. Like DS games. I'm like, really? Let's be books. Wow. Wii games.
Yeah, yeah, they sell that stuff. I'm like, oh, it's supposed to be books. It's supposed to be books. Hey, thanks for the call. Thank you for the call. Well, hey, listen, I remember when I was growing up in grade school, the teacher was probably one of these ladies that at home had absolutely no power. And no control. So she exerted that power and control. Oh, yeah. In the classroom. I mean, she was going to have some... She had power over us. Yeah, real good. I mean, we were begging. We needed that stuff. It was like crack. The day that stuff came in was like... Our dealer delivered the shipment. We wanted those books. Yeah, I needed to know what was going on in the latest world of the Berenstain Bears. That's right. Encyclopedia Brown. What's that guy up to? I was just going to say, that's a boy's, that's the boy's version. Just out solving crimes? He's only 10, 12 years old. What's he doing out solving crimes? LOB, I don't know if you're too old, but I remember the chicks.
With the Judy Blume. Oh, yeah, we were, that was like more my older sister. Yeah, Sweet Valley High, real good. We were Babysitter's Club. Babysitter's Club. Yeah. Gosh, that stuff was great. Yeah. It's brilliant. That's why I say we're all grown up little kids. We're all grown up little kids. We still love, we love a lot of the same stuff as we were kids. I can still smell. I can smell it. And if I think about it, I can smell the box and my new stuff. I can see that colorful sheet that I would fill out so carefully. Let me give you some other ones. Close your eyes. All right. I'm going to give you some other ones. You just opened the door and you walked into your elementary school library. Yep. The library at school. Do you remember that smell? Do you remember what that smelled like? Old books and old cards. Carpet. Carpet. Yeah. It's so weird. Imagine your... cafeteria at school. It had a very particular smell. And right now, imagine the smell of the white milk container. The little container of milk. You remember what it smelled like when you opened it and you had to pinch the sides to make the spout open up? I can remember all of those old smells from school. School is just so...
ingrained in you. You're there every freaking day for 15 years or whatever and, you know, dude, it will never leave you. When you're 80, you'll be able to smell your cafeteria. Yeah. What a trip. You will. Yeah. You really will. I don't know about you guys. Was there any food at school that you liked? Yeah. What? Soft pretzels. Baked potatoes. Yeah. Can't mess that up. No. They would just throw butter and cheese on it and it was delicious. You can't mess up baked potato. We had the frozen pizza, too. Hideous. Elio's. Oh, you had a frozen pizza? Mm-hmm. We had the cafeteria pizza that was on cardboard. That tastes like poop. Tastes like poo. Yeah, it's disgusting. Let's see. Demi's out of rehab. Demi Moore. You know, she had gone into some sort of a rehab, and she's out of it. I think she was at Utah's Cirque Lodge. Lodge? Yeah, that's what it's called. But it's nice. She's on vacation right now. Undisclosed place. They won't tell anybody. And only real close friends are talking to her. Nobody else gets to talk to her. Lindsay yesterday was on. All you have to say is Lindsay, by the way. Right. Don't have to say Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Wagner. Yeah, everybody knows. Lindsay Lohan was asked if there's anything off limits. If there's going to be anything off limits on Saturday Night Live.
And I'm trying to put myself in the writer's room right now. It's Saturday Night Live. And they're going to have some fun or going to want to have some fun with the things you've been through in your life. Oh, I've already pitched that yesterday. And so is anything off limits? I mean, have you said to them, look, you know, I want positive in my life right now. And I'd rather not do a sketch about X or Y. I don't. I think if I'm going to do, you know, a sketch about X or Y, this is the place to do it. I think SNL kind of. is where you actually are okay to do that. And I spoke to my attorney and asked her, I didn't want to be disrespectful to my judge or anything, and she's been really wonderful to me and helped me a lot. So I've asked if certain things would be inappropriate or off limits, because I wanted to be in the clear. I was like, I'm so close. What kind of feedback have you gotten on the legal side? Some of the things were acceptable, so we'll see if we can get them together and write them the right way. I want to poke fun at myself. I think that that is as right on of an answer as you can get. Look, if the crap that I've done can be lampooned, the place to do it is SNL. Yeah, the only thing I would... I think she should wait until she's off probation. You know what I mean? I think it's a little weird going in there, lampooning herself, lampooning the judge, and she's still on probation. You got me. See, I thought... Ballsy. Here, I thought she got me. I was like...
She got me. She can do it now because it's Saturday Night Live. Then Woods, you got me when you said it's too early. It is too early. She should have waited to even do it until she was off. You can't win. She shouldn't really be out of state. You can't. Now people are going to say you did it too early, LLB, and she's going to go, I can't freaking win. What are the ads she misses her plane on the way back? And she's like, I was filming SNL. Right. What was I supposed to do? I'm sorry, Lindsay. You still have three months of probation. Lindsay, you knew, though. I'm going to go back to jail. I know, but you knew this before you ever... I know, but I had to work. I told you that you had... I know you had to work, but we said don't go out there. This is going to be bad. I know, but what am I supposed to do? That is freaking... That is freaking genius. Genius, genius, genius. Oh, my God. It's just... It's like, hey, they're going to have... Okay, they're going to have Kristen Wiig up there as the judge, right? So the judge is like, huh. It's funny. It's so funny. It's lighthearted. Yeah. Your probation is lighthearted. It's cool. I give her, I'm all right. Maybe she'll stay out of the courtroom as a scene. Yeah. One would hope. I'll be watching it. I know that. Do you, at what point, at what point would you give her a break and say she's done? Dude, I gave her a break. Listen, who am I to judge? I've been in enough trouble for 10 men, you know, but you know what I didn't do?
Go poo on the judge's bench. Didn't do that. She didn't either. The judge told me to do something. I did it. Uh-oh. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Yeah. There is one thing that is a true fact about her. I don't know if there's going to be people that disagree. She's a fine actress. That chick can act. Yeah, she can act. She can act like crazy. Absolutely. That's the sad part. It's wasted talent. Maybe she'll get it together. Here's her talking about that. It seems like in this country people love to make stars. And in some ways they like to sit back with fascination as stars crash to Earth. But I think Americans also like a story of redemption. Do you feel that there's a story of redemption in your future? I personally believe that there is, yes.
How will that look if we sit down? You know, you haven't been here in six years. If it's another six, let's hope it's five years. OK, I hope it's sooner. Let's say we sit down at 30. OK, five years from now, what will we be talking about? What's going to be going on in your life? Hopefully I'll just come from the Oscars this past weekend. You see that kind of movie roles? Do you see getting? I hope so. I'm real down with that. I'm really hopeful for that. I would love it. Nothing would make me happier than to see that girl that used to be the biggest freaking train wreck on the planet walking the red carpet at the Oscars being nominated for an Academy Award because she's able. That's how damn good she is. I'm not kidding. She is a damn good actress. Robert Downey Jr. did it. Yeah. He can do it. And don't we love that? We love it. We do. And he, I mean. There weren't too many worse than that guy. Truly. I mean, he was in the doldrums. Now you remember him for his acting, for his role in Sherlock Holmes more than his partying. I love it. I love that. Steamed back into acting? Yeah, completely. I just want to kind of just work for a certain... I want to be able to work to the point where I can just go on a vacation with my family or I can...
And then have the premieres and be happy for that. You will. I believe it now. If she can stay clean, L.O.B. said it. Robert Downey Jr. is a perfect example. I don't think, when I think Robert Downey Jr., I think badass actor. You don't think train wreck anymore? No, not at all. Great point. I think Sherlock Holmes. I think Iron Man. I think badass movies. I do not think about the train wreck stuff. He could not get a job because of insurance. Other actors had to pay his insurance to get him work. Wow. Because studios would not insure him. You know what I want to research? But he was so talented. I want to research what the movie was where he came back. The movie. I don't know. From which time? The last comeback? The last comeback. I'd like to research. It may have been Iron Man. No. No? It was smaller roles before that. He built his way up to that. But at first, he could not get insurance. And he just wanted to work. And he was clean. And other actors were like, look, we'll help. I think Sean Penn was like, I'll pay his way. No way. You think about all the actors that we know growing up. And he's kind of around our generation. Who's better? He's phenomenal. And they said, you can't because we can't afford you. You will do something that will make us have to pay too much. Charlie Sheen will make a comeback, too.
Yeah, I bet he will. Wow, now that one's a little tougher for me. He's got a show coming out soon. That one's a little tougher for me, and the reason I say that is because Charlie does not like to admit that there's a problem. But neither did she. Yeah. Neither did she, so who knows? Who knows? I'll never forget Robert Downey Jr. To the judge, he goes, it's like... I have a gun in my mouth, and I like the taste of metal. And he said it to the judge, and I will never forget it as long as I live. Ever. It's like I have a gun in my mouth, and I like the taste of the metal. I was like, what did the judge say? He's like, I'm sorry. You're talented, but you got to go away. I mean, he went way away. Lindsey's done 15 minutes in jail. Robert Downey Jr. went away. Heroin? Everything. X, heroin, coke, crack. He did it all. Well, he woke up in his neighbor's kid's bed. I thought it was his. Yeah, I remember that. Here's my question, too. Because I'll tell you, it can get anybody. It seems like really talented people, there must be something upstairs. Yeah. Let me tell you, I can be addicted to anything. Anything. So, as an addict, I can tell you, I'm the same way, I think. I think I like the taste of gunmetal, which is terrible.
Yeah. And that once you learn not to like that metal in your I mean, dude, it's how deep is that? You know, you're like, wow. Yeah. So here's Lindsay talking about how she's not going to she won't disappoint. There's some rumors or stories around there going that your next project is going to be playing Elizabeth Taylor. Yes. Tell me about it. I'm going to be playing, you know, a part of her film. It starts when she's in Cleopatra. The producer's Larry Thompson, and he's wonderful. And we're in the middle of casting and figuring we start production soon. So I've been doing tons of research, but I've always kind of researched her. She's always been a fascinating woman to me. So I'm really honored, and I will not let anyone down, especially myself. It's funny that you felt the need to say that. I will not let anyone down. Because people, you know... I could see where it could be scary for people to invest in me. And I don't want people to have that reason to be scared anymore. So being able to have this opportunity with SNL and the film, I'm going to do what I'm supposed to do. That's the most lucid Lindsay Lohan I've ever heard. Possibly, yeah. She'd make a good Elizabeth Taylor. Yep. I think it's going to be good. So...
There's a big story circulating throughout San Diego about the elderly couple that was found dead in their La Jolla home, lived in a condo, and a relative called and said they hadn't heard from him for a while. So they went and checked on him in a townhouse in La Jolla and couldn't, you know, found him. And they are considering it suspicious. They do consider it suspicious. But the house was secure. There are no outstanding suspects right now. So they're, you know, looking into it. That's a very big story out there today is the death of this elderly couple. You can call us if you want to. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Guess who ain't here today? Oh, happy birthday. Y'all don't do too good while I'm gone. Yeah, just flounder in or... Yeah. It's like you're in an ocean just bobbing up and down, Mike. Oh, man, Mike. I love to watch you without me. Our producer, Jay. Yeah. He's out. You know what I did, Mike? I set up a camera so I can just see what it looks like to fail. Y'all are doing good at it. Yep. Gosh darn you. Hey, if failing...
was good, y'all would be the best. Oh, yeah. Does that make sense? A plus and effing. Yeah, A plus and effing. Y'all got an F. Y'all, let me tell you something. If it were a sport, y'all would be in the Olympics. Absolutely. You'd be gold medal winner. Yeah. You'd be standing up. You wouldn't just be there. You'd be up on the pity. I mean, you'd be accepting that thing as they put it around your neck. I hope you realize just how much I bring. That's right. Oh, God, I bring it. I bring it at home. Suck it, man. Yeah, I bring it everywhere. Bedroom, fathering, whatever. Everything I do, really. Filling in for Jay today is... It's crap! I'm going to be telling you next when Comic-Con stuff is going on sale. Oh, boy. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Live from Progressive. Flo again, talking about something dear to my heart. Saving money. And we have Marcy.
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Get in the zone. Putting off auto repairs can turn a small job into a big one. So put your tax refund to work today at AutoZone. From brakes to engines, we've got the quality parts you need. And you can count on AutoZone's trusted experts to help you stretch those tax refund dollars as far as possible. Spend a little today instead of a lot later. Keep your car running longer with help from AutoZone. Parts are just part of what we do. Get in the zone. AutoZone. A little backup as you come through El Cajon. This morning on the 54 southbound, the eight connectors at 22 miles an hour. On the 67 northbound, some backup here from Lakeside Avenue to Winter Garden Boulevard, 45 miles an hour. And as you travel on the eight westbound, Sunset Cliffs Boulevard through the five southbound, looks like speeds around 49. This report brought to you by Pro Nutrients, a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
GZT San Diego. Only good financial media station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. Yeah, so let's do this. Give us a call. 570-1949 or text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Love to hear from you. And you can do it right now. Anything you want to talk about, we will talk about with you. An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, you don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41 years old. And Woodsy is 36. He's our sports guy. L.O.B. is our assistant producer. And she is 31 years old. And Kral. It's Kral. It's Kral. It's Kral.
Is filling in for Jay today. And Chris is 23 now. Yeah. Isn't that right? I'm 23 years old. And we have Emily screening phone calls today. And you are 19, right? That's right. 19 years old. So you will talk to Emily if you call us. Mike, so is Chris going to make all the D jokes and stuff today? No. Talk about a nice beaver and all that? That is the opposite. It's the opposite of Chris. It is. Definitely opposite of his personality. You couldn't get, it's 180 degrees from Jay Isbell. That is a true story. On the very opposite end of the spectrum sits little Chris. Yep. Word of the day, Onion. When you hear me say Onion between now and nine, all you got to do is be calling nine. You get a pair of tickets to see Rise Against at what used to be known as Cox Arena. Now it's Viejas Arena at SDSU on April 15th. So, Woodsy. Yes, sir. Yesterday was the day for Chris Dielman, right? Yeah, man. And Chris Dielman, if you don't know who he is, he's a very popular all pro guard for the San Diego Chargers. He announced his retirement. And the interesting part in the article in the UT, it said he talked more yesterday than he has in nine years. Oh, my gosh. He's not a guy that is very vocal. And he said, look, if I had it my way, I would have just released a statement and moved on. I came here today for my teammates.
And my family. And they asked him how he was feeling after having to retire, after only playing for nine years. It just sucks that it has to end this way, but it is. The memories I got, the friendships, the relationships. You know, I met my wife out here. I got a beautiful family. I want to thank all my friends, the text messages and all the messages that people have been sending. And it means a lot. Right. Very thankful for that. You know, I gave everything I had. It ended a little early, but, you know, it is the right thing to do. When you tweeted him, Woods, what did he... I didn't tweet him. I didn't text him. I did nothing. You didn't text or tweet him? I promise. I promise. I did nothing. I didn't tweet him. You didn't say... No. You didn't put, like, at Chris Dielman. No. We'll miss you, Brugs. No, nothing. I did nothing. Sure, okay. I promise. Chris Dielman is only 31 years old. And, man...
I was loading that this morning. I was like, it sucks. I was choked up. Listen to it. It's very sad. But look, he's got to take care of his family and his quality of life. Guys play a long time in the NFL. They don't always come out very well on the other end. And he's 31. He had what they call a grand mal seizure on the team's flight home from New York last year. Can you imagine how frightening that must have been for him and everyone else? Absolutely. He's never had one. Right. He's never had one. Oh, my gosh. So, man, he is a guy, and it sounds like, you know, and I've got more audio for people later, but I'm telling you, man, he sounds like the guy you want in that locker room. You know, but very sad day. On this day 50 years ago, in 1962, happens to be the cover of the UT today, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points by himself in a single game. He played for the Philadelphia Warriors. And they beat the Knickerbockers. 169-147. 100 points. Yeah, 169-147. 100 points. Kobe Bryant came close. He scored 83 points one time in a game. 100 points is insane. Yeah, 100 points, I don't... Will it ever be matched? No. There's a few in sports, and that's one of them. It's mythical. It's mythical, yeah. I mean, there's a few records that just... They won't even be close to being...
caught. What I think is crazy is that it wasn't 98. It wasn't 102. He scored 100 points. He also slept with 10,000 women. That's true. That is a true story. That was the other well-known thing about Wilt. Is that where he got the nickname The Stilt? I don't know. I didn't know that he had a nickname. Wilt The Stilt. I thought it was for his long legs. He was very tall, Woods. Well, if his nickname was The Stilt, that's all I know. You're a Wilt Chamberlain expert over there. Why do you have a Wilt Chamberlain Warriors jersey on today? Because it's his day. Why else would I? You're also wearing some sort of afro. That's right. That is a true story. That's really weird. That's just because it's Friday. Yeah, that's true. Good point. Sunny today, 71 degrees. Oh, boy. What you saying, Mike? Don't say it, dude. Sunny and beautiful. Don't do it. Gosh darn you. Sunny and 71. Poxitani Mike. Yeah, Poxitani Mike. Every day. I can't see too well. Yeah. Found out what my pain is coming from. It's a vein. Woods won't let me show it to him. No, I don't want to see your vein. Oh, no. Isolate. No, the deal is I have a sharp pain in my belly that I thought was internal.
And it's this vein that runs right under the skin. And it has a name, this ailment. But it affects that vein. And there's a lot of nerve endings around that. And so if it is... How did it happen? Probably during surgery. It's green, right? Yes. It's filled with Verde sauce. It's Verde sauce. It's Verde. It's not... It's green in color? Yeah, it's filled with verde sauce. It's not filled with verde sauce. You do like the verde sauce on your enchiladas. And your burritos. Don't you? You love verde sauce. It's your preferred salsa. I'm not any different about those sauces as you. I'm not any different about... What? It's not true. I don't need anything on mine. Just because I'm Hispanic doesn't mean that I... automatically have verde sauce and stuff. Green veins. You do. Verde veins. And it's pronounced verde. Sorry. Verde veins. It's chile verde. It's not chile verde. Easy, Ricardo Montalvo. Sorry, I like to pronounce things the way they're supposed to be pronounced. How does your dad pronounce your last name? Esparza. Ah. Esparza. Esparza. Miguel. Miguel.
Me good. Identical dad. Me good. Woods. Yes. Gosh, darn. I'm so sorry it took me this long to tell you, but Comic-Con will start selling tickets at 8 a.m. Now, this is only for the people that already have the badges. 8 a.m. today. Well, here's the deal. No, Saturday. Oh. Tomorrow. Jeez. Online sales of badges for this year's sold-out Comic-Con will start at 8 o'clock. On Saturday, only those who have already gone through an earlier online process to secure a member ID and received a confirmation email can purchase entry into this convention. It's July 12th through the 15th. Oh, I know. I wonder if the thing will crash, the site. Yeah, it did that last year, didn't it? I think so. Dude. That is like the, and we went, you and I went a couple years ago. You worked at Comic-Con LLB. It is a spectacle. It is a freaking spectacle. If you want to go all four days, Woods, it's going to cost you $175. Per day? No, for the whole four days. Not bad. That's great. I wouldn't go four days if you had a gun in my head, but. That includes Wednesday preview night, though, Woods. Did I tell you that? No, you did not. Didn't mention that. No, you didn't. Single day badge is $40. That's not bad.
It's cool to go one day to see it. Except for Sunday. That's cheaper. $23. Obviously. Not bad, right? Not bad at all. L.O.B., your boy Bon Jovi, turns 50 years old today. Wow. 50 years of age. Five zero. That's right. The guy that you used to rock out to, Woods, is a 50-year-old. The guy that I took my jeans in seventh grade and tried to cut. to look like his jeans. And my mom came home and said, what the hell are you doing? And I said, well, I want to make my jeans look like Bon Jovi's. That's right. That's a true statement. The guy I used to make out with a pillow and pretend it was him. Bon Jovi? Is now 50. Do you know how many women in their cars can relate to that? I bet they did that. Yeah, I used to pretend I was in his music videos. How? When he would sing, I would look out the window longingly. Yeah, that is awesome. Just do little poses like, oh, sorry, John, were you talking to me? Oh, when you give glimpses of you, I love hearing it. What was your jam? Well, always came out when I was in, I think, early high school it came out. So that became my jam. Boy, that's like later Bon Jovi too. That's later Bon Jovi, yeah. So you weren't into any of the... Well, he was rocking. A lot of them weren't really like ballads. Right. You know what I mean? A lot of them were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like they're rocking out.
But if he did a ballad, you would imagine. Ballads were like a bed of roses. A bed of roses. That was a big one. He was going to lay me down on a bed of roses. And I was ready for it. How old were you? I don't remember. Try to remember. Elementary school. And you were ready. Oh, I was ready. Listen, at that point in your life, you knew. I was charged. Yeah. You knew that you could handle some Bon Jovi and you were ready. And I was like, and he's going to sleep on a bed of nails for me? Yeah. Gosh. This guy. How can I say no? He's unbelievable. L.O.B. just gazing out the window. In sixth grade? Yeah, in sixth grade knowing this song's about her. That is L.O.B. It's outstanding. That's outstanding. Oh, man. She's just looking. Oh, yeah. Just imagining running my hands through his hair and getting all stuck. His long hair. Him loving you. Yeah. Nine-year-old you. He had like a sideways little smirk that you would do, and I was like, oh, boy. Remember his acting face? Yes! He was an actor. He wasn't a bad actor. He wasn't that bad. He was in some movie called U-471 where he played an American on a submarine. Not bad. He was good. Played some house painter in some other movie I saw. It was alright. Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay, today turns 35. Free Cuber. 35. Free what? Cuber.
Free Cuber. Free trade with Cuber. Right. That's one of the things he's really in on. Mikhail Gorbachev, 81. Guy I remember from my youth because we were afraid of him. Well, his birthmark is only 79. That's right. He's 81. I thought he was the enemy of the natural world. Me too. When we were kids. Yeah, we're scared of him. Russia is the enemy. Maybe the best scene in any movie ever when Leslie Nielsen in Naked Gun grabs him around his head, takes a napkin and goes, and wipes his birthmark off. That's fantastic. He goes, I knew it. Lou Reed is 70 today. Get it. 70. Get it. Do you know who Bryce Dallas Howard is? Ron Howard's daughter. Yeah. She turns 31. She's a fiery redhead. Oh, yeah. Eddie Money, how old do you think? 64. 63 was. Wow. Not bad. I love Eddie Money. Daniel Craig. James Bond. He was just in that scary movie, Dreamhouse. Terrible. Was it? Yeah. He's 44. And Reggie Bush. He's 27. Oh, my gosh. Dude, that just blew my mind. 27. So young. Yeah. Now, the cutoff age for running back is 30, so think about that. Yeah.
Reggie Bush, potentially three years left in the NFL. Doesn't that kind of trip you out? It's crazy. He's so handsome, though. It's true. Used to be, what's his name's dude, right? Kim Kardashian. Kardashian. That's right. Economics explained by a five-year-old. My name's Hudson Hinkley. This is economics for five-year-olds. Do you know the gas that my mom uses to bring me to school? It's a lot more expenses now. This is when I was born. And this is what it is now. This is real bad. This is the national debt when I was born. And this is the national debt what it is now. Yuck! Watch out, five-year-old career politicians keep us spending all our money. They even voted against the Baddest Budget Amendment. Why are you making us pay the money? My dad, Barry Hinkley, is running for the U.S. Senate, but he's not a queer politician. But I didn't need jobs, but they haven't made one since I was born. This is unplanned when I was born, and this is unemployment when it is now. This is real bad. My dad knows how to make jobs. He made lots and lots of them. Five roads, are you better off now than you were five years ago? Well, the protocols are out, but it's not so good for the queer politicians.
Tell your mom and your dad to vote for my dad, Barry Hinckley, because he's going to balance the budgets. Thanks, Hudson. You're welcome. I'm Barry Hinckley, and I approve this message. He's got my vote just because that kid's so damn cute. He's one of the cutest kids I've ever heard. He didn't get my vote because he exploited that cute little kid. I thought it was just a YouTube video. Oh, boy, with the exploiting. Maybe they just give him a pair of sneakers to sew. That is a cheap shot. Cheap shot. That is a cheap shot. Oh, God. Gosh, you guys are so jaded. Are we? Yes. Isn't that the definition of exploitation? My daddy will balance the budget. Is there any part of you that says maybe Hudson was all right with it? Emotional jihad. Oh. It is emotional jihad. It's too cute. How can you not vote for him now? How can you not? Yeah, you're being forced. You're like, why do you hate kids? You're not voting for my dad. Yeah. That's a cute kid. He is real cute. I thought it was just a fun YouTube video. I was like, oh my gosh, this is the cutest kid. And then when he said, my dad, Barry Hinckley, I was like, oh boy. The kid made me a sweatshirt, okay? Oh, you guys are so mean. You look on life with such jaded glasses. Just cynical. Just our eyes. Our eyes are wide open, Mike. Okay, they're wide open. That's it. Mel Gibson's done with his anger management.
Never had to do anger management, actually. You don't get mad, but when you do, you go gas it. His lawyer was in court yesterday, and he was offering proof that Mel's done what he's supposed to do. In fact, not only did he do his anger management, he went above and beyond. He actually put in extra time. Do you guys want to see him on the comeback trail, speaking of the comeback trail? Heck yeah. Do you? I don't. Heck yeah. I do too. I don't. Why, L.O.B.? Don't you want everybody to come back? No, I think he's past the point, and I think he actually deep down is a racist and not a nice guy. Really? Yeah, I think some of the, you know, the people that get into trouble with just drugs and stuff like that, it's like, you know, they kind of got lost, but they're not bad people. I think he's not a good guy. He may be a bad dude. See, here's the thing. I didn't think when he made the anti-Semitic remarks...
I didn't think that he really meant that stuff. But he said some stuff in those tapes that Oxana got on tape, his ex-girlfriend. I forgot about Oxana. I'll actually give him a pass for a lot of the Oxana stuff because bees can make you crazy sometimes. You'll say some stuff you would never say. No way. Yes. He said he's going to put her in the ground. Well, that's different. You don't threaten to be his life. I bet. With 99% certainty, you've told a man that you'd put him in the ground. Worse than you'd put him in the ground. No chance in hell. That you, drunken, have not said some things. No way. I've never threatened anyone. I'll kill your face. No. I'll kill your face off. I'll kill your face off. And I'll wear it. You want to know what's going to happen to you? I'll freaking kill your face off. I may have threatened to sleep with their best friend, but that's about it. Which is why he says, I'm going to put you in the ground. Which, by the way, I'd rather you tell me that you're going to put me in the ground. All of our jaws dropped open. I'd rather you tell me you're going to put me in the ground than you tell me that you're going to sleep with my best friend. 100%. Holy cow. Yeah, that'll get you more. He was also heavy into booze and stuff then, so I don't know. He seems like a jerk to me. I don't know. I want everybody to get reformed. I sleep.
I like when people may come back. Yeah, but you don't get to get paid millions of dollars for it. Just go quietly. They didn't. They're not giving him millions of dollars because he did. But I'm saying, why does he get a shot? There are so few people that get the shot that he has gotten. Don't you want everyone to get that shot? No. Man. I don't want everybody to get it. I want good people to get that shot. I'm not giving Ted Bundy like, come on. I really want to see you redeem yourself. I want Ted Bundy to reform himself. He's dead now, but I would like every person that's ever done anything bad to reform themselves to go, this was wrong, wish I hadn't had done it, changing my ways. I'm too cynical. I wouldn't believe that they changed their ways. That's a good point. Some people I just think have black hearts. Man, see Mike Vick. What? No, I don't believe that about Mike Vick. Oh, he plays for the Eagles. If he played for the Redskins, he would. Maybe. Yes, exactly. There's 100% chance if he played for the Redskins, she wouldn't like it. That freaking Redskin. I hate him. She grew up in Jersey right near the Eagles. Yes, I'm an Eagles fan. And hates the Redskins. I hate the Redskins. The Deadskins. The Deadskins, she calls them. Boy, if he had that Native American on his helmet, LLB would be all about it. Probably. My name's Hudson Hinkley, and this is economics for five-year-olds.
Freaking great. He's so cute, man. He's really cute. There's certain things that you hear that you just can't help but love. For instance, when somebody is a professional bowler and they bowl a strike. Strike to claim it. A strike to claim it. And... Yes. That is, in fact, what he said. Who do you think you are? I am. Okay, fair enough. Okay. One of the greatest pieces of audio that we've ever unearthed. Yes. Absolutely. And... What's his name, Woods? Pete Weber. He's a professional bowler, and he's supposed to be in the bowling world as big as it gets. And to win this tournament, all Pete need do is bowl one last strike. Strike to claim it. A strike to claim it. To his, when he was 12 years old, to his eighth grade bowling teacher who said, you're never going to do it. Mr. Jackson.
Mr. Jackson. Finger. To Marianne Wisely, who broke up with me because she wanted to go out with Jason Smith. Take that. This is for you. Okay? This is what you could have had? Is that why he says, that is why I did it. That is why I did it. That is why I did it. That is why I did it. That is why I did it. That is why I did it. I did it right. A strike to claim it. And it goes. What is getting right? Listen, no, I did it right. I did it right. I did it right. I did it right. That's right. That guy, lane four, did it wrong. I did it right. I love that guy, dude. Oh, gosh, I really hope Jay gets an interview with him. Oh, Pete Weber. Jay's working on an interview. He's the A-Rod of... He's very cocky, I hear, obviously. I'd love to hear that guy. Me too. We're going to be playing buzzwords, so you've got to call us. Oh, boy. 570-1949. And today, Chris is going to be giving us the buzzwords. And what you've got to do is you've got to call in right now and claim whoever you think can win for you. It's either going to be me, Woodsy, or L.O.B. Pick your horse.
And what do we have as a prize, Chris? Do you know? We have a pair of tickets to see the Ting Tings at the House of Blues, San Diego, March 23rd. There you go. I always have to look my sick. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Get part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. I want to tell you about AIS. They just announced the results of their latest savings survey. And they are. AIS customers saving on average a reported $600 a year on their auto insurance when they switch to AIS. That's absolutely unbelievable. Now, they've got access to shop a huge panel of insurance carriers and they can match you up with a carrier that offers the best price and protection for your situation. And they got discounts galore, man. You call AIS.
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You'll play yogurt is 10 for only $6, four to six ounce sizes. And Florida's natural or Safeway select orange juice are two for just $6, 59 ounce sizes chilled. And this weekend at Vaughn's, it's time to stop and smell the rosé or Cabernet or Chardonnay or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on all wines with Vaughn's Club. Plus, save an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Mix and match from our massive selection. With 30% off, now's the time to pick up wines you've always wanted to try and stock up on your favorites. 30% off all wines at Vons. And an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Load up on breakfast savings. Stock up on wine. This weekend at Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% off or valid for bottles 750 milliliters or more. Hi, my name is Sophia. I'm a Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market customer. And I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market. Made with real customers. Not famous actors. Saving money. We pass on to you. I like the smaller feel. Fresh and easy. I just wanted an alternative to the big chain stores. I wanted different types of food, more ready-made food. So I feel like this offers me a really good selection on fresh foods and prepared foods that are going to be easy for me and make my life easier. I didn't pack my lunch today. I just wanted to run in real quick and pick up something. I know exactly where to go. The food's already prepared for me. I can pick it up, still eat healthy, still eat relatively inexpensive, and have a great meal. Thanks, fresh and easy.
Thanks, Sophia. Now everyone can save on our new easy lunch combo. Choose from a variety of fresh salads, sushi or sandwiches. Add fruit, snack-sized chips, nuts or Greek yogurt and a drink of your choice. All for just $6 plus CRV. Grab your nutritious lunch combo today. See store for details. Valid through March 6, 2012. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement and financial aid is available to those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. The Home Depot has made a special buy on indoor tropical plants in 10-inch pots for only $7.88. Over $5 off a nice variety of bold, distinctive plants that brighten any room but don't need a lot of maintenance. So they'll command attention, but they won't require much. Get more spring per dollar in beautiful 10-inch indoor tropicals, now only $7.88 each. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Valley through March 7th, U.S. only. See story details.
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Buddy, down here in the cup holder. Yeah, it's us. You spare change. Now look, this might seem strange, but frankly we've had it with just being tossed in here and forgotten about. And we want you to drive to Mickey D's right now and use us on something delicious. Like one of those two for three fifty deals they got going on. Head over to McDonald's for one of two awesome deals. Enjoy two classic Big Mac sandwiches for only $3.50. Or at breakfast, get two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for only $3.50. That's double the delicious for, like, small change. Yeah, because if you don't, we're going to make a whole lot of noise. Right, boys? Most restaurants open late. Many open 24 hours. Limited time offer. Price of single item posted on menu board. Prices and participation may vary. McDonald's $1.49 Filet-O-Fish Fridays are back. A Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.49 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Good news, California taxpayers. For a limited time, Lumber Liquidators will cover the cost of sales tax on everything during our big tax-free sale.
Get laminate flooring for just 49 cents a square foot. Prefinished hardwood and bamboo from $1.79 a square foot. Beautiful Brazilian cherry, only $2.99 a square foot. And the sales tax is on us at our big tax-free sale now through Monday. Visit LumberLiquidators.com for your local store. Offer valid in California locations only. This report is brought to you by the California Lottery. Now that Mega Millions jackpot is $108 million, you've got 108 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do. Play today. Well, the freeways, obviously, it's a little slow, but not really slow because it's early. But we do have backup as you come through El Cajon this morning. Looks like the 54 northbound, that seems to be slower than the southbound side. The 8 connector all the way down to about Willow Glen Drive in the 20s right now. Some backup as well on the 8 east, 8 westbound. Nope, the 8 eastbound, sorry. My map moves back and forth. The 8 eastbound, 15 north. We're looking at speeds about 35 miles an hour. And on the 52 westbound La Jolla Parkway off-ramp, we've got a stalled van.
This report also brought to you by Allstate. Now you can save even more when you bundle your policies with Allstate. Simply bundle your auto, your life coverage, and more. Start saving today. Find an Allstate agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Nuclear science is not my passion. Woods. You can take a turd and rub it in wasabi and soy sauce. Tastes like sushi. Lauren. It's not called love-making playlist, but it is my love-making playlist. And Jay. Yesterday we were out skateboarding on the ramp. And I'm thinking, I'm almost 50 and I'm skateboarding. That's great. I'm going to break a hip. On FM 94.9. This is a new song I heard last year. Yep. Brand new. If you don't know that story, I had never heard this song. So excited. I had never heard this song and I turned the radio on to Channel 933 and they played Pop Top 40. They were playing this song and I'm like, wow, this is a...
Pretty good jam. This is a beast. I don't know who it is, but it's a good jam. And I was thinking, I should find out who it is and, you know, play it for Woods and Ella B. Clues the gang. Yeah. And so it turns out at the end of the song, they announced that it was Tupac and I knew instantly. Like, oh, old song. Old song. 90s. So then there's that. Word of the day is... Word of the day is... Onion. I think I said it was something different. No, you said it. I said onion. I did? Yeah. Okay. And so when I say that word and you hear me say that word, be caller number nine. I'll give you a pair of tickets to see Rides Against at Viejas, formerly known as Cox Arena. They're going to be there April 15th. So we're going to play buzzword here in just a second. But before that, I got to tell you about this new.
I guess it's a weapon. It's something that can silence people. So in other words, let's say that you're, you know, you're talking, you're screaming at me. I can make you instantly stop by using this gun. Doesn't hurt you. All it does is it tape records you and it plays your voice back 0.02 seconds later. And when you hear that, it confuses your brain and you have to stop. In fact. This is how badass it is. It works so effectively that they say it could be a violation of human rights. Wow. That's how effective the SOB is. Wow. It's not like somebody goes, oh, I could defeat it. I could do it. I could continue to talk. Fight through. Fight. No. What do they want that for? Well, this is what they say they want it for. They say.
That they would like it for things like libraries, where people are supposed to be quiet and not talk. I think you're not quiet at the library. Well, it doesn't hurt you. It doesn't hurt you. It seems excessive. It's way excessive. I guess. Or an important large meeting. Okay, you're having this big, large meeting. And you want somebody to be quiet, and they won't be quiet if you turn this gun on. Now, it doesn't, all it does is they hear themselves. It seems ridiculous. They hear themselves, and they instantly, they're like, so, how about this? Hey, sir, can you step outside if you're going to talk? Thanks very much. Yeah, exactly. You're shooting the guy, getting them all confused. Right. It stops you dead in your tracks. You stop dead in your tracks. How many guys would abuse that on their wives? Of course. Of. Of course. How many wives would use it? I went to the office. So anyway, I went to the all day. Just press the button. Confusing. How crazy is that? So they said that it could violate free speech laws and stuff like that. They because police could use it against protesters at political demonstrations. Who developed it if it's the Japanese? Weird. I know the Japanese developed it.
And the thing works. You all right? You just violated my pre-hearing. Woods almost just died. I did. How great is that and how much would you like to have one? That seems ridiculous. What's the price point on something like that? I think invaluable is the right word. It's pretty badass. It's insane. Get a word. A little differently today because Cross is filling in for Jay. And what is the prize today, Chris? The prize is a pair of tickets to see the Ting Tings at the House of Blues, San Diego, March 23rd. All right. So all you got to do is call in and pick your horse. This is M1 Migs from El Cajon. Who do you want? Oh, my girl Pepper O'Brien. There you go. L-O-B. We used to call her Pepper because she had pepper in her teeth one day, and we wouldn't let it go. M1 Sensimia from Oceanside. Who do you want? Thank you, Mikey. Perfect. Wow, Woods.
How does it feel, Woods? M1 Nick from Vista. OP-dub. You got your OP-dub. Hang on the line. Yeah. Way to light a fire under the kid. All right. All right. All right. What's the word? Word is head. Head. Head. Jay did pick these. Just above your front bumper. Headlight! Oh, gosh. What's... Hold on, hold on. All right. Hold on. Hold on. He's rushing. You're rushing, Chris, already. Hold on, Chris. Oh, gosh. You guys are really... All right. Okay. You set? All right. Hook him to a Walkman. Headphones! Woods. Yeah! I like this kid. Two can solve a problem faster. S-word! L-O-B. L-O-B. The one in charge at home. Headphones! It could be... You're allowed to call ties, if it is. Unless you heard Mike first. Mike. Yeah, definitely. All right. I spit everywhere. For nothing. Leave early. Head out! Head out early! Close. Get a head start! That's it. Gosh darn you. Gosh darn you. Too complicated for my mind. Heady! No. Makes my head hurt. Think about it. Too complicated for my mind. Got a headache. No. It's a head solver. Head scratcher! No. Come on! It's a head game. Heads at the end.
It's over my head. That's it. Dang it. I hate you. Gosh darn it. How did she do it? Okay, so I'll be at the point. Flip a coin. Call it in the air. Clearance above your noggin. Forehead. Nope. Headroom. Yep. Mike. I'm racing through this. Racing through this. Darn it. This face is crazy. I know. It's making me excited and nervous at the same time. Sweating. Here we go. Lucy's mean nickname for Charlie Brown. Blockhead. Fathead. That's it. Blockhead? Blockhead. Oh, gosh. We're tied. Three. We're tied. We're tied. Three all. We're tied. Nice. Cool. I thought it was... All right. So, Grateful Dead fan. Deadhead! Deadhead! Woods. What? Yeah, well... Woods, be honest. I think she got it. Be honest. There's just so much action. You guys should see this. I know. I know. It's hard. It's hard to do. Don't just look at the person. She got me.
All right. So that's it for that word. Next word. What's the next word? Holy cow. Who's winning? Who's winning? I'm winning by one. You're winning by one. Elleby's winning by one. All right. This is M1 Migs from El Cajon. She's winning by one. I know. I know. Hang on. Hang on. You got this. Although all three of you got this. Okay. What's the word? Queen. Where does queen? The drones work for her. Queen B! That's it. Dang it. Queen B. Gosh darn it. That's right. Oh, oh, oh. Queen Mary! Queen River! Riverboat Queen! Queen Mary! Queen Mary! That's it. Mike. Mikey, all right. It's so weird that if you keep yelling something, it doesn't become correct. I know. It's so strange. I'm just waiting for it. Home of the Peanut Buster Parfait. Weird. What's got it? Oh, my God. He's up by one. I wonder who gets this. ABBA song. Feel the point. Oh, gosh. What? What? This is so fast. All right. So, larger than regular pantyhose. Queen's eyes. Oh. Tie. Tie. Tie. Tie. How do you guys do that? I don't know. They're in sync. Larger than regular pantyhose. You just said that. You said that. I was just reliving the moment. Queen's song. The dynamite. You already said that.
Queen's song that's dynamite with a laser beam. Killer queen. Killer queen. I said. Mike. Mikey. What did I say? Queen with a laser beam. What is the score? It's Mike five. Lauren five. What's that? Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Okay. So there's four left. There's four left. You guys got this. England's monarch. Queen Elizabeth. Queen Elizabeth. The second. The second. The second. No, that was totally worse. That was totally worse. What was it? Queen Elizabeth. Just a regular. 1953, in case you were wondering. Gosh, darn. Coin op washer and dryer. What? Laundry queen. No. Queen size washer. Coin queen. This might be confusing. No. Queen coin. Coin op washer and dryer. The dry king. King and queen. I don't think you guys will get this. King and queen. King and queen. Queen size barrel. Has to do with the velocity of something. Queen speed. Queen speed. Speedy queen. Speed queen. Speed queen. Speed Queen. Speed Queen. It was Speed Queen. I said Speedy Queen. I said Speed of the Queen. It's Speed Queen. Why don't we next this? Next one. Okay, so there's two left. Aretha Franklin's... Wait, we gotta make these worth more than just one point. Okay, so what's the score? No one can win except Woods. Oh my gosh. This is crazy. L.O.B. L.O.B. is out of breath. I'm out of breath. Woods is out of breath. I'm so high.
Mikey has five. Lauren has five. Woods has eight. Maybe some two-pointers. Make these two-pointers. Two-pointers. All right, so the last two are two-pointers. All right. Aretha Franklin's unofficial title. Queen of Soul! Woods. No! No! Yes, yes. It's game. It's game. It's game. Is that it? That's it. Woods. Who do you think you are? Holy cow. I did it right. You did it right. I did it right. M1 Nick. from Vista. The kid did it right. Let me tell you something. He did it right. That was intense. That was one of the most intense games of buzzword that's ever been played. That was fun. Hang on the line. He's got tickets to see the Tink Tinks. We take that thing. We take that thing as far as it will go. Oh my gosh. It makes me sweat. Hey, Fruitcake's on the line. Hi, Fruitcake.
sweating, and I'm just... Oh, gosh, that was exciting. Were you listening on hold? Is that the deal? Yes, and Woods just pulled it out at the right minute. That is inappropriate. That is true. It's also inappropriate. Here's the deal. Fruitcake is an actual fruitcake on aisle nine at the Vons, but you are, I guess, on the road. Seasonally, yes, I'm on the road. I'm in Palm Springs. I'm here with friends and, you know, just doing my thing. Laying out today. Fruitcake's a seasonal, you're a seasonal dish. Yeah, I come to San Diego in the winter. Some may call me a snowbird. Yes, now the reason that Fruitcake is here and that you can still hear from him is because he's never been bought. People don't have a taste for me anymore. No, they don't. He was bought in return back in like 1974. Yeah. Thanks for bringing it up. In a red tin. Lauren, let's talk about some things that happened to you in your view. Okay. Maybe you don't want to talk about that. You don't necessarily have to start getting personal with each other. I was just giving the facts to the audience. Facts to the audience. Why did you have to get so upset, Fruitcake? Well, you know, it's old scars don't heal all the time, Mike. Where are you, Fruitcake? I'm in Palm Springs. I just said that. I'm sorry. I'm in Florida. I'm laying out. Palm Springs is in California, though. I'm sorry. I meant West Palm Beach. I'm sorry. West Palm Beach.
Yes, Florida. Okay, yeah, because I thought maybe somebody needed to break out a map and Fruitcake perhaps didn't take geography. Well, maybe you suck it. Okay, all right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Fruitcake. Don't get upset. I'm sorry. I was actually calling. I wanted to talk about Lindsay. And did you see the interview yesterday? Yes, I did. She is a, I'm telling you what. We played back portions of Lindsay Lohan's interview, actually. The woman Lindsay Lohan? No. Puppet, Lindsay Lohan. Oh, my gosh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No, I'll be the puppet. Confusing. The puppet, Lindsay Lohan. Hello, Bean Girls. That's Lindsay Lohan. I'm telling you what. My sig other said if I was going to get a taste of anybody, I could have her if I wanted to. Your sig other said that. Really? That if there's one person that you could hook up with, it's Lindsay Lohan. Mike, did you think her legs looked a little creamy? No. God, those legs are creamy. I didn't notice that. What's with the red knees? I don't. Oh, wow. The knees were red. The skin was creamy. I didn't really get it. That's weird. Man, now you know how I feel.
Yeah, I don't know what that means, but yeah. Yeah, I didn't either. It's just really, it's very odd. Fruitcake, you're a big fan of Lindsay Lohan, as it turns out. She is gorgeous. My God, she is gorgeous. Are you sure you're not talking about Lindsay Buckingham? No, I'm not talking about Lindsay Buckingham. Okay, all right, all right. God. All right. Lindsay Lohan. Always the girl. Plump lips. Yes. Just pouty breasts. That's right. And I couldn't be Moran. Can I ask you a question? Absolutely. Last time we talked to you, you had mentioned that you are on the karaoke circuit. Yeah. Yeah. Is that still a fact? Mike, is that still a fact? It's not it's not what I do. It's who I am. OK. This is what I thought was great about you being on the karaoke circuit. You sing songs that I would not think are in your register. Well, if you were going to guess. what was in my register, what would they be? It would be, well, I would think that you could, yeah, I think you could do ABBA. Some dancing queen and also some Freddie Mercury. Yeah, I would think that you could do that. Those are a little girly. No, I don't think those, okay, well then let's go with something more masculine that I would think that would be within your range. Maybe Rocketman.
By Elton John. Well, Mikey, you think Vertical Horizon is masculine, so I'm not going to really... We got you there. I like Vertical Horizon, but I've never said that I think that they're masculine. He did get you. Maybe. You also could do Maroon 5. I'm not doing Maroon 5. I do a little... I have a little bit of harder edge to me, if you know what I mean. Which is what surprised me. Yeah. Does metal. Around me. Give me an example. I'll give you one that I... What'd you win with? This one is one I won with last night. I won a $25 gift card. card to Captain D's Seafood. And this one, Mike, you may know this. Are you ready? Yes. If you like to gamble, I'll tell you I'm your man. You win some, you lose some. It's all the same to me, Mike. The pleasure is to play. It makes no difference what you say. I don't share your greed. The only card I need is the Ace of Spades. The Ace of Spades, Mike. The Ace of Spades. Oh, wow. You really, you really pronounce, you really pronounce that word. Absolutely. Wow. I've got to run. I'm going to go get a cucumber martini. All right. Thank you. And just chill with my boys. Thank you very much. That's a fruitcake, ladies and gentlemen. That was interesting. I found out a lot. Yeah, we did. He's a seasonal, he's a seasonal fruitcake. He comes around during the Christmas holiday and nobody buys him. Poor guy. Yeah.
And that's just the deal. So, Woodsy, our friend Woodsy. Oh, boy. Woodsy had a very mortifying moment yesterday where he left the gym. He called his wife, and as soon as he lifted that phone up to his ear, what, Woods? I glanced. I'm at the light. It's a four-way stop. I glance out of my left eye, and I see the grill of a cop car waiting at that light to go straight on my left. I go, oh, God, oh, God. And immediately the phone goes down, and the nervousness, the heat comes over my body and the sweat. Right. And I look over, and all of a sudden, I hear this. So cell phones really are a distraction, aren't they? Oh, my gosh. I would have died. I almost did. I almost perished. I go, and I waved. Oh, my gosh. I waved, and it was no longer in my hand. I looked over, and I go. I mouthed, I'm sorry, and I waved. His light turned green, and he, dude, he was pissed because he was like, and pulled out. So he was taking a left. I go straight, end up right freaking next to him at the next light. Oh, yeah, and I'm like, and he's looking, and I'm not looking, and I can feel him looking, but I'm not looking. Oh, gosh. And I'm just sitting there, and my hands are on the wheel. I'm looking. I'm doing this bit.
I'm pretending to look for stuff in my side door. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. I'm fiddling with my iPod. Oh, my gosh. Scale of 1 to 10. How uncomfortable? 25. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I guess those cell phones really are a distraction, aren't they? I want to die. I want to die. Mortified you in front of everyone. Oh, yeah. And I'm just like, oh, God. Oh, God. But he didn't give you a ticket. You're lucky. He didn't. And what I usually do is I make the call up to the ear. And then when Jamie answers. 85% of the time, I go, hang on, let me put my earpiece in. You don't have an earpiece, or do you? Yeah, I do. So now you use the, well, okay. Because I go to the gym and I wear the Skullcandy ones. Yeah. It's got the mic, so I just use that one. So it just so happens you did not have it on at that point. Well, I did. I had it with me, but that's not how I do. I do the bit of, I make the call first, she answers, I go, oh, hang on, let me put my earpiece in. Instead of just calling with the earpiece in, like a normal human. You got to ask yourself, are you that? Are you Woods? Are you the person that don't wear the, you know? Just tempting fate, dude. I got a ticket. If you get a second ticket, moving violation. Oh, wow. God, he was mad. He was mad. We're going to play a little Gas Prices, right? Yeah. So we need you to call us, and the median price of gas is somewhere around $4.30. I mean, it is outrageous. $4.36, the median price of gas.
And what we're going to do is we're going to give you some 7-Eleven items, and you've got to guess if it's higher or lower than 436. Call us now. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's traffic. Excellent job. Mikey. 570-1949. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Ready, set, go. Your three favorite words. That's why we built you the Chevy Cruze E-code. It's available to order, and it offers an EPA-estimated 42 miles per gallon highway. That's the best gas engine highway fuel economy in America. So you're good to go just about anywhere. Go to work. Go out and play. Go on that big adventure. Go get them, Tiger. Or just go with the flow. The only place you won't go as much is the pump. Chevy Cruze Eco. More reasons why Chevy runs deep. Now, count on Chevy and get to a dealer today.
test drive one of our nine models with an EPA-estimated 30 mpg highway. Like the Cruise Eco, offering 42 mpg highway, saving on gas is that simple. And there's a great selection of inventory available now at your Chevy dealer. Count on Chevy for more out of every mile. See your local Chevrolet dealer or visit ChevyDealer.com. My name is Sophia. I'm a Fresh and Easy Neighborhood Market customer. And I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy neighborhood market made with real customers, not famous actors, saving money. We pass on to you. I like the smaller feel of Fresh and Easy. I just wanted an alternative to the big chain stores. I wanted different types of food, more ready-made food. So I feel like this offers me a really good selection on fresh foods and prepared foods that are going to be easy for me and make my life easier. I didn't pack my lunch today. I just wanted to run in real quick and pick up something. I know exactly where to go. The food's already prepared for me. I can pick it up, still eat healthy, still eat relatively inexpensive, and have a great meal. Thanks, fresh and easy. Thanks, Sophia. Now everyone can save on our new easy lunch combo. Choose from a variety of fresh salads, sushi, or sandwiches. Add fruit, snack-sized chips, nuts, or Greek yogurt, and a drink of your choice. All for just $6 plus CRV. Grab your nutritious lunch combo today. See store for details. Valid through March 6, 2012.
What time did you tee things off? I grabbed my bag and got out there early. You went by yourself? Yeah, I just got a cart and headed out. How was it? It was exhilarating. I was in the zone the entire time. I would have been happy to break even, but I came in lower than ever. You should see my score. Wow, nothing beats a great sale at Kohl's. Exactly. Women who shop to win shop at Kohl's. Everything is on sale this Friday through Sunday. Plus power hours Friday 3 to 11 p.m. and Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. Kohl's. Expect great. This is Troy Aikman. And Hulk Hogan with another worry-free shopping tip. You know, getting the brand you want doesn't have to mean worrying about a big credit card bill. Man, I hate worrying. Gives me the hives. Yeah. Anyways, at Rent-A-Center, you don't even need a credit card. And if you ever need to bring it back and stop paying, well, you can. So you never have to worry. Hey, the hives are going away, brother. Right now at Rent-A-Center, get 55-inch Sony LCDs for a special price, worry-free. Restrictions apply. See store for details. Offer expires March 27, 2012. Quantities limited. There's nothing like a ghost story around the campfire. And I've got one that is not for the faint of heart. Once there was a camper who did not insure his RV with Geico. He didn't listen when fellow campers told him how much money Geico saved them by insuring their campers trailers and pop-ups. And he paid dearly for his mistake. Not figuratively, literally. He paid out in the nose, poor chap. Good luck getting to sleep after that doozy of a tail.
To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. The price of gas was really taking its toll on my wallet. Oh, hey, Shelly. So, to save some money, I've started taking the bus that sort of goes by my office. Mom, stop talking. You're embarrassing me. Did I mention it's my daughter's school bus? There, I just did. Hey, a penny saved. Stop. Stop it. Penny earned. Ugh. There's an easier way to save. To get a free rate quote, go to GEICO.com. Then buy online, over the phone, or at your local GEICO office. Back to programming in a minute, but first, listen to this. Seems the New York Mint is releasing to the public classic U.S. gold coins. There's a number you can call for free historical information and a free DVD. But first... It says that during the Great Depression, people were clamoring for gold coins because no one wanted to face economic turbulence without the security of gold. The government finally took them out of circulation, and a government meltdown was ordered. That's why most of us have never even seen a classic U.S. gold coin. But recently, a stash was discovered in Europe, gleaming U.S. gold coins minted between 1866 and 1933.
all uncirculated. It says the New York Mint is releasing them to the public on a first-come, first-served basis when you call. Here it is, 1-800-900-9517. Wouldn't that be amazing to hold U.S. history? Okay, if you want that free historical information and the free collector's DVD, the number to call is 1-800-900-9517. 1-800-900-9517. Presenting the freshest fruits and vegetables at Albertsons. I'm a Granny Smith apple, though I'm not a granny or a Smith. My name's Frank. I'm fresh, crisp, and a little tart. Some people say you're delicious or honey, you're crisp. But no, I'm not a delicious or a honey crisp. Those are my pals from the orchard. This time of year, we're ripe for the picking at Albertsons. Of course, I'm the most popular, but let's keep this between us, okay? I don't want to upset the old apple cart. Shop at your neighborhood Albertsons through Tuesday for low prices with your preferred rewards card. Visit the meat department because boneless, skinless chicken breasts are a low $1.99 a pound. And pick up fresh green asparagus for just $1.29 a pound. And while you're filling up your cart, you can fill your prescriptions too. Because Albertsons is proud to welcome Express Grip members at all of our Save-On pharmacies. See store for details or visit Albertsons.com slash pharmacy. Find these savings and more at Albertsons.
This report is brought to you by the California Lottery. Now that Mega Millions jackpot is $108 million, you've got 108 million reasons to play. Drawings are every Tuesday and Friday. Mega Millions from the California Lottery. Imagine what a buck could do, play today. Well, the freeways, obviously, it's a little slow, but not really slow because it's early. But we do have backup as you come through El Cajon this morning. It looks like the 54 northbound. That seems to be slower than the southbound side. The 8 connector all the way down to about Willow Glen Drive in the 20s right now. Some backup as well on the 8 westbound. Nope, the 8 eastbound. Sorry, my map moves back and forth. The 8 eastbound, 15 north. We're looking at speeds about 35 miles an hour. And on the 52 westbound La Jolla Parkway off-ramp, we've got a stalled van. This report also brought to you by Allstate. Now you can save even more when you bundle your policies with Allstate. Simply bundle your auto, your life coverage, and more. Start saving today. Find an Allstate agent near you at Allstate.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. San Diego. This is The Mikey Show. With Mikey. I wear like a 44 small. Woods. I'm so lonely. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9.
So, we're going to be playing Gas Prices Right for a $50 gas card. Bam! In just a few minutes. Can I play? I can't. No, sir. Word of the day is onion. I haven't said it yet, but when I work that into a sentence, caller number 9 at 570-1949 is going to win tickets to go see Rise Against. Yesterday, Woodsy, Chris Dielman. announced his retirement. He sure did, man. And we talked about it in the opening break. Chris Dielman is an all-pro offensive lineman, left guard for the San Diego Chargers, retiring after only nine years. He's only 31 years old. Offensive lineman played for a while, but he had had a seizure. And for his quality of life and the sake of his family, he wanted to walk away. This is Phillip Rivers. This audio. Is so good. This is Phillip Rivers getting a little choked up when he started thinking about Chris in the huddle. You know, I always kind of give the lineman a little headbutt, you know, before we go out for the first play of the game. And, you know, Chris always, you know, grabbed me a little tight and said, lead us. And, you know, him saying that every week was special.
Oh, doesn't that get you? It got me, man. Oh, doesn't it get you? I'm telling you, my eyes filled up this morning. I was loading it. I go, oh, wow. Isn't that crazy how, guys, if it's like a sports thing, no problem. We have no issue there at all. It will get you. Oh, speaking of, I was actually crying tears of joy when I read yesterday that Red Sox captain Jason Veritek has retired. after 14 mediocre years in Major League Baseball. Oh, wow, wow, wow. And, you know, just batting, you know, 230, 240 every year, being called captain, being a douchebag. So, hey, we'll see you later. Spoken like a true Yankee fan. Hey, Tech, don't let that door hit you on the way out, pal. I can get you real guys. That's right. That's right. Woods, you don't like them. Let's play the gas prices right. Listen, gas prices here in San Diego are pretty much... Higher than anywhere else on planet Earth right now. In fact, California is paying more for gas than Hawaii, which has been the highest place in the world that you pay for gas. But now we've broken that average. $4.33 a gallon is the average here in California. And in San Diego, the average? $4.37. $4.37.
Now, when we play the gas prices right, what you have to do is you have to tell us whether the items that I give you are worth more or less than $4.37. $4.37. So give us a call right now, 570-1949. Now, here's the deal. You got to get at least three correct. If you get at least three correct, then we will give you the gift card. So give us a call right now. We've got M1 Anthony on the line from Chula Vista. Are you there, Anthony? How you doing, man? Doing good. All right, now here's how we're going to do this. I am going to read you these items, and you've got to get at least three out of five correct. And if you do, then we're going to give you a $50 gas card because gas is expensive right now. Are you ready to go? Yeah. Okay. The first one is, these are all items from 7-Eleven.
And you have to guess whether it's more or less than $4.36. A bottle of 7-Eleven brand automatic transmission fluid. Is it more or less than $4.36? I'm going to say more. That's incorrect. It actually is $3.99. Now, don't forget, three out of five. You've got four left. The next one is a six-pack of Budweiser bottles. More or less than $4.36? I'm going to say more. Yes, sir. That is correct, man. That is correct. All right. Now you're in business. So you've got to calm down your senses. The next one is a pint of Haagen-Dazs caramel cone ice cream. Is it more or less than $4.36? I'm going to say more. You are correct. That actually costs $4.99, dude. All right.
You can do this. You only need to get one more right. All right. One bag of Kraft Jet Puff marshmallows. One bag of Kraft Jet Puff marshmallows. Is that more or less than $4.36? I'm going to say less. You are a winner, my friend. Yes. You just got yourself a $50 gift card. And let me tell you, with the price of gas right now, bro, that's pretty good. That's awesome. Hang on, okay? Thank you, Mikey. Woods is the man that has to go down to 7-Eleven. The guy's probably always wondering what you're doing. I told you. I did it once, and then I went back and did it again one time, and he goes, are you opening a store? Yeah. And I said, I'm not opening a store. I work on a radio station. I'm sorry. And he's like, oh, okay. So I went in this morning, and I did it, and he's like, oh, you're doing the bid again. He knew? Yeah, he knew. He knew. Woods is a...
Frequenter of 7-Eleven, you get your, first of all, it's your snuff, your number one snuff spot. That is exactly right. My snuff stop. When you're in high school, you got a flower for a girl there. That also is a true statement. I've done that. Yeah, it's weak. It is weak. It's a weak bet. I've done it. As weak as you can get. A 7-Eleven flower is better than no flower. That is true. I'll tell you that much. Is it? Is it LLB? Yes, it is. For girls? Flowers? Good to know. That's it. That is the ticket. That's good to know. Yes. Well, here's the thing. With flowers, you kind of can't go wrong. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter. And you will always be a winner. You will always get a pass for whatever you want to do the rest of the day. Nice. And you pretty much never, it's never going to be a bad thing to bring somebody flowers. That's true. Is there something for you? For guys? That's the same thing. Like donuts, beer. The equivalent of flowers for a man? Something that you could give us or something that you can do or give us that's the same as getting flowers. Non-sexual, of course. Non-sexual? Yeah. Well, because every guy would say the sexual thing for sure. Right. We could say we show up with something in our hands. I think if we're mind-melding, we're probably the same thing. What is it? Food. Yeah. And any kind of food? Well, is it any kind of food? It's...
my wife has an uncanny ability to know what I want when I want it without me telling her. Yeah. So she'll show up with an ice cream sandwich. I'm like, I was just thinking about a freak. Holy cow. And for me, that's like a, you know, for her, a bouquet of flowers. Oh, yeah. If your wife shows up and she's got some kind of treat, hallelujah. So like a dessert or your favorite food? What if you, you know, if you walk in and your favorite meal's cooking. I am freaking fascinated right now. 5701949. What is your, men, what is your flowers? It's easy for guys. It's like, if you get our flowers, it's like, you know that's going to work. Does it ever wear out? No. I mean, if you did it every day, probably, but who does it every day? But see, and I wouldn't want my favorite meal every day. No. And I sure don't want, because there are some girls that will give flowers. Oh, no. Oh, for a guy? Yes, there are girls that will give flowers because they think that it's a nice thing to do. Hmm. I mean, if you can give me flowers, you can give me panties. Exactly. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. It's the same exact thing. So what is it? What is a guy thing that we can get that we would say it's as good as a chick getting flowers? What's yours? Is it food? Food? Food is good. Definitely up there. Like baked goods? I feel like baked goods are always a... They say food is the way to a man's stomach. If a girl took the time to freaking bake something for you... Special.
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you, I don't even need baked. I wanted the other night, I remembered something from my youth, and I used to eat, you know, jello pudding, but the pistachio flavored, the green, and it's got the little pieces of pistachio in it. I wanted some. So my wife went to the store, bought it, bought some milk, and made me some. And dude, when I bit into that, it was like giving her flowers. But that's not a surprise. It is 100% food then. And I think he's right. I think it's 100% food. Maybe even so far as to say the cooking or the preparing of it. Oh, that's a big one, too. No, this guy's got this. This one may rival. This one may rival. Although Wood says this is a bit. He says this is something that guys say they like, but they really don't. Oh, nice. Is this is this one M1 M Wade? Yeah. From Poway. Yeah. What's the equivalent for you of a chick getting flowers? When I come home to the shower naked. Okay, I thought it was her naked in the shower with you. But seeing your wife naked in the shower. Yeah, then I jump in with her. This is Jay disguising his voice. Exactly. I think you're right. I think that seeing your wife naked in the shower is pretty awesome. It's incredible. It's awesome, but I don't think it does the same thing as flowers do for us.
When you see her body naked and just the curves and everything. I think that just is a turn on. Yes, go on. Send us a picture. Yes. It just means a turn on. It's incredible. Hey, I don't know. I'm going to sound like a huge D for saying this, but haven't we all seen our wives naked a billion times? Yeah, but isn't it kind of cool when they're in the shower? There's something cool about your wife in the shower. I'm always gone before my wife's in the shower, so I never get to see her in the shower. I'm on Mr. Dodgeball from Scripps Ranch. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Give me an example of something for a guy that's like getting flowers. Peanuts. Dude, that's awesome. Wait a minute. You're telling me every once in a while Mrs. Dodgeball will walk in the house with some... Freaking peanuts. Oh, my gosh. Peanuts do it for him. Oh, my gosh. That's outstanding. That is freaking great. Thank you. Oh, that is the best. M1 Acoustic D from Escondido. Are you there? I'm here. Go ahead. What is the equivalent of roses for a dude? Well, for me and my wife, I love movies way more than my wife does, so she always comes home with a...
Like a movie that she knows I've been wanting to see. That's killer. So she'll go rent one and bring it home. No, she'll buy one because I watch it. Oh, that's pretty cool. That is cool. Buy a DVD and surprise me with it. That's pretty awesome. Thank you, man. Do you guys remember when they had... There's these places you could go. They were called music stores, and they had CDs there. What is that? A music store? What is that? Yeah, well, it was this place, and they'd have these racks and racks and racks of CDs, compact discs. No, dude, you get music online. You buy them on iTunes. But you remember compact discs. Yes. What is that? You remember. What is a compact disc? It's a thing you slide into a little slot, and it plays music. It had music on it? Mm-hmm. You remember. You remember. What a trip. Well, my wife brought me home. the first Audioslave record and I wanted to hear it and I'd been talking about it and I didn't buy it and she brought it home for me that day. So thoughtful. And I still remember it. I put it in and the first song was Cochise and I was like, I love you so freaking much. I can't even stand it. That's a...
badass movie. That is pretty awesome. There's still a record store called Lose Records that has, you can get like actual CDs. You're kidding. I'm like, I haven't seen one in so long. Wait, CDs still exist. Yeah, CDs, there's DVDs in there. CDs. Yeah, CDs. I was like, wow. So people still really want that. Yeah, and you know what I did not know? That most of the CDs are released on vinyl too. Yeah, I found that out too. What is vinyl? Exactly. M1 Gordon Bombay, are you there? Hey, good morning, guys. What does your wife do that's the equivalent of roses for a girl or flowers for a girl? Well, now that I'm a little bit older, we have a one-year-old and another baby on the way. Time is a lot more scared, so there's a lot of things that I should be doing, so I don't get to play an Xbox all that much anymore. And it's definitely a treat when she says, go play an Xbox with your brother. That's awesome. So alone time, just whatever you want to do. A dozen roses right there. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Hey, thank you. This one's good. I'm one kid from Lakeside. Are you there? How you doing, Mikey? Good. What can your wife do that's like getting flowers? Everybody is completely missing the point. Girls get flowers, right? Yep. Why not guys get massages? A massage. It's a lot more expensive than a dozen roses. Do you mean a massage from her or a massage from a pro?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, from her. Oh, from her. Oh, yeah. Just like a nice back rub. Hi, honey. How are you? I got a little neck rub last night. It was pretty awesome. Stop bragging. Dude. Jamie just be bringing you home records. Records. Rubbing your neck. Pudding. Making you pudding. Well, she rubbed my neck with pudding while listening to audio saves, so it was pretty badass. That's kind of private. It's called the trifecta, pal. Oh, my gosh. You guys are into some stuff, man. That's weird. Thank you very much. This is. M1 Frankie from Mission Valley. What does your wife get you? She got me golden grams for our second anniversary. I was so excited. I posted on Facebook, best wife ever. Golden grams. What's the significance there? Growing up, we didn't get sugar in my household, but we went to visit my grandmother. She gave us golden grams every summer. And so it became my favorite cereal. Did your mom and dad know that your grandmother gave you that? They don't because I told them how excited I was like last year about that. Yes. And she gave you cereal that was sugary of that soup? I was like, yep. Oh, my gosh. That's what grandmothers do, man. I'll tell you what, man. Thank you for the call. I'll tell you what. Grandmothers will get you in that way in that you can have a rule that you're enforcing and grandma.
will throw a monkey wrench all over whatever your rule is. And gets a pass. Grandma's like Vegas. What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's. I have to disagree with Woods and L.O.B. I want to get your temperature on this because Woods just said she gets a pass. I say no freaking way. Well, unless it's disciplinary, she gets a pass. No way. Okay, L.O.B., let me ask you a question. Yes. You're getting married. Uh-huh. Get married, you have a kid. Yes. Are you going to let your toddler, you know, let's take your toddler. Are you going to let your toddler drink things like Kool-Aid and Coca-Cola? No. Okay. So let's say that your son, you got a son, and let's say that he goes to visit grandma and grandpa. Yes. And you find out that every day he got to have himself Coca-Cola. And all the things that he knows he can't have with you. Would you be pissed? Yes. Of course. I would not. Are you kidding me? What's your bit? You got to say yes sometimes so your no's mean something. You. Well, listen. You do. Grandma gets a pass with the food and all that stuff. You are.
I think grandma should only be able to treat them to something you know that they've been allowed to have at some point. Like if they're allowed to have ice cream when they're good, then you should be able to go to grandma's and get ice cream every time. Listen, if my wife or I had a rule where we said, you don't get to go outside with no shoes on. Let's say that was a rule. Can't go barefoot. You know, we don't want you stepping on something. And this is the key. Here's the key to this. Does grandma and grandpa know? About the rule. Yeah, see, because I think grandma knew that he wasn't supposed to have sweets. I think she was fully aware of it. My grandmother used to give me stuff and be like, your mom doesn't have to do that. I wasn't allowed to chew gum until a certain age, but my grandparents would give me gum. Yeah, they get a pass. You know what? We're all going to be grandparents, probably. And I got to ask, who do we think we are? Who do these grandparents? They get away with a lot of stuff. We get to spoil as grandparents. Yeah. I'm saying that now. I don't even have kids and I'm already putting myself as a grandma. Because if you don't see them, now if you see them every single day, you don't get to spoil. Right. But you're like, you know what? I get to indulge because I don't have to deal with the repercussions of the sugar hot. I got a nephew. I have a nephew, a new nephew. And Oliver, when he comes to visit San Diego, is going to be able to get away with it.
A little bit more than he can back at home. And that's why he'll want to come see his uncle in San Diego. My niece, she gets to like wreak havoc and we do like we like horseplay and stuff like that that she doesn't do with her mom. Right. But in terms of like food, I respect what my sister. Oh, let me tell you, Ella B, I'll take it a step further. I will not only enforce it, but I will make sure mom and dad know if he tries to. Sneak something. I will not only enforce it, Woodsy. I won't go the other... Not only will I not go the other way and give him the sweet thing to be the good uncle, I will enforce the rule. No way. No freaking way. I will enforce the rule. You're going to be a grump. Yeah, I'm not going to Uncle Grump's house. There's no freaking way. I don't want to go over there. Rules be rules. Grumple's house. Sorry, man. Grumple Mike. Rules be rules. Come on. Come on, man. That's the fun of having aunts and uncles. Have you ever heard about... Dude, my aunts and uncles used to discipline. I would listen to Kiss records with my uncle. My mom would be like, Mike, stop playing him those Kiss records. And I'm running around singing Meet Me in the Ladies Room. I'm four years old. But you are 36 years old and you talk about your uncle and the Kiss thing.
Probably at least once a month. Yes. And it left him. It's like, that's their thing. That's my uncle. Yeah. And that was your thing with your uncle. Yeah. But I wonder how many people are listening right now and you say to yourself, my uncle used to whoop my butt. No way. My aunt was the same exact thing as my mom. There was no difference between my Aunt Helen and my mom. Did you like going to your Aunt Helen's house? Yeah. Did you? I actually did. Yeah. I mean, I actually did, but there was absolutely no difference. Wow. And that's why I liked it, because it was my normal. Yeah. Like, I didn't know any different. I like to go, you know, in the summers, you go hog wild, man, when you go see your uncle and visit. Oh, man. When that little kid. If I found out, dude. Oh, and you are my brother. If I sent. Jake, Luke, or Ryan to visit Steve. And I say Steve because I know it would be Steve. 100%. Steve would be the violator. Yeah. That guy would mess with my rules. They'd be bungee jumping. Yes. They'd be doing all kinds of stuff. Yeah. And if I found, I just thought it over. You can't. I wouldn't get mad at him, but I would, I would, yeah. It would perturb you. It would perturb me. Yeah, it would perturb you. These are white people things. Yes. Yeah. These are white people things. Yes, it's probably true.
It's probably a hundred percent true because in my Hispanic family, whoever was your relative. They ran the show. They ran the show, and it didn't matter if it was an aunt or an uncle. I could get spanked by my aunt just as much as I could get spanked by my mom. It's so funny because they're different. All aunts and uncles are different. A lot of different friends that I had growing up that were Mexican, that were Filipino, that were African-American, same thing. Their aunts and uncles, their grandparents, whatever, they were just as much of a discipline. Listen to this. Listen to this. M1 Don from San Diego. You there? Go ahead. When I was like 12, I had really dark hair and I wanted to put sun in my hair to make it blonde. And my mother was like, absolutely no way. So my grandmother, we called her Oma, because that's German for grandma. And I was going camping with them. And I said, Oma, will you take me to the store and buy me this? And she goes, what is it? I go, you just put it in your hair. She goes, does mommy say it's okay? And I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So my grandmother helped me do this to my hair like the whole weekend. I went home with blonde hair.
My mother almost had a heart attack. Now, I got a question for you, though, Dawn. I got a question for you. Okay. What would your grandma have done if you said no, that mom said it wasn't okay? Would she have enforced or would she have let you? He said to me, well, if I do this, how mad will mommy be? Yeah, you got to weigh your ass. Hysterical, man. You know that I came home. I left Connecticut one summer and went home to Texas to see my family and see my friends. I came home. I was 15. I came home with an earring. Oh, boy. Dude. And Pop, my Pop, was none too pleased. And I believe it was my Aunt Brenda that took me to get my earring. And, you know, he was like. You got to be kidding. I was like, what? I wasn't home. I was just Johnny Defiant. My little diamond earring. I'm a big player. The kid's got a gear that I don't have because I get afraid. Kid don't get afraid. Kid's not afraid. We're going to play the Dumb Drunk Darren. We need somebody to call us right now and play for themselves. Represent themselves. Call us right now. 570-1949. The Mikey
Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. 570-1949. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Vons will help you rise and shine this weekend with amazing breakfast deals. Use your Vons Club card this Friday through Monday for Smithfield Premium Sliced Bacon. They're buy one, get one of equal or lesser value free 16-ounce sizes. Kellogg's Frosted Flakes are just $199 each, 14-ounce sizes. Yoplait yogurt is 10 for only $6, four to six ounce sizes. And Florida's natural or Safeway select orange juice are two for just $6, 59 ounce sizes chilled. And this weekend at Vaughn's, it's time to stop and smell the rosé or Cabernet or Chardonnay or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on all wines with Vaughn's Club. Plus, save an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Mix and match from our massive selection with 30% off. Now's the time to pick up wines you've always wanted to try. And stock up on your favorites. 30% off all wines at Vons. And an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Load up on breakfast savings? Stock up on wine. This weekend at Vons. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% off or valid for bottles 750 milliliters or more. Do you want to learn how to make a...
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Facebook, Shazam, plus thousands of more apps, all with no contract. The choice is pretty easy. Head to mycricket.com today. Cricket. Your call. Limited time offer. Requires new activation. See store for plan. Data usage and coverage details. Terms and conditions apply. Get the most out of your wireless plan by getting the ZTE score for just $49.99 when you switch to Cricut and transfer your number. And get talk, text, and data, plus unlimited music downloads right to your phone starting at only $55 a month. That's apps galore and millions of your favorite songs to listen to anytime, anywhere. Hi, I'm Jeff. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer, and I'm happy to make this commercial for Fresh and Easy. This is a commercial for Fresh and Easy neighborhood market made with real customers, not famous actors, saving money. We pass on to you. I like to come to Fresh and Easy and grab things I need for dinner time because I know all the stuff is really good. I can pick up a ready-made meal that they've made fresh or you can put together something really quick because they have all the stuff you need. Today I saw an ad for your New York steaks, which look really good. So I grabbed some Brussels sprouts, grabbed some coleslaw, grabbed some rice pilaf from couscous. So I'm going to put that together for dinner tonight. So, I mean, it's just a...
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It's Tuesday special at U31. Tacos make Tuesday special. It's Taco Tuesday every Tuesday at U31. North Park's number one bar and grill. Gorge yourself on $2 fish, chicken, and carne asada tacos. Plus, on Tuesday, it's U31's Beer Lovers and Less Happy Hour. 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. $2 draft. Choose from Stone, Racer 5, IPAs, Stella, Blue Moon, and Fat Tire. Taco Tuesdays. Tuesdays at North Park's number one bar and grill. U31. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the termites. This report brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger serving you fresh grilled, fresh cut, freshly made to order food since 1948. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. Well, you've got a little backup over here on the... 67 southbound to the 52 west connector. There's a bunch of debris in the middle of the road. Starting to build on the 52 westbound at the ramp from the 125. It's about 19 miles an hour. And some delay on the 5 northbound. It's a tough drive from 9th Street, Plaza Boulevard to about the 54 eastbound. Speeds about 23, 27 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Pro Nutrients. A new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning being brought to you by Islands Restaurants. Today we are looking at a slow but sure cleanup and swell, wind and ground swell combination out of the northwest. Trying to do its thing this morning. Really kind of crossed up and shifty. Not all that good at the reef break right now, but as the tide continues to drop, they might find more focus. Each break's looking fairly fun. Clear skies for the most part. Offshore winds, again, trying to groom those conditions. Looking at waves, running in that waist chest-high plus zone on average. Top spots, shoulder to head high, with even a few pluses on top of that. So, water conditions or water quality could be a little bit sketchy, but surf quality is picking up and improving, as is the weather. That's the way we're starting our day. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for surfboard repair and restoration needs, go see Joe Roper down at Marina Boulevard. Tell him I sent you. The Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm an odd guy. Woods. Put it down on the back of the toilet, I'll eat it. Lauren. No, nice is in now. Nice is the new black. And Jay. All right, now don't go getting cocky with me. I'll come down there and give you a good spanking. On FM 94.9.
It is gorgeous outside already. They're saying highs 71 today. Just a beautiful day. Probably won't last. Probably going to have another system coming through here. But for right now, that's some blue skies and looking nice. Not a cloud out there. Uh-uh. It looks nice. Let's send L-O-B to me and interview people. Drunky, drunky. Hey, Buzzy Davis, come to the mic. We got trivia questions. Guess if you're right. It's Dave. That's right. Here's the deal. We're going to play back clips of LOB asking people questions. They're basic questions. Pop culture. It's that kind of bit. And it's not hard, but this should be a lesson to you. You don't want to get too drunk. You don't want to get drunk because who knows? You may not be able to tell people who Paula Abdul is. Forget stuff. M1 Hot for Teacher from La Jolla. Are you there? Are you there, Hot for Teacher? I am.
Hi, how are you? I'm doing well. How about yourself? I'm good. You will be playing for yourself, okay? Fantastic. All right, hang on the line. And also, we have M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there, Rick? Yes, I am here. Rick, you're going to be playing as well for yourself. Hang on, okay? Sounds good. All right. We're also going to let Chris play. And what's the prize, Chris? The prize is a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail on Blu-ray. All right, cool. Now, we're going to start with... M1 hop for teacher as a contestant. So eventually we'll get around to you answering the following question. And all you have to do is tell us whether or not the person knew or didn't know. Does that make sense? Okay. Yes, sir. All right. Let's get this thing going. Here we go. Okay. So can you tell me your name? Karen. And Karen, where are you from? Boston, Mass. And how many drinks have you had? Three. Okay. All you needed to know there was what she sounds like, kind of get a feel for her, and that's all you need to know. Here is her first question. Is run a noun or a verb?
Running. The answer to the question, I always give you the answer. The answer to the question, as you know, is a verb. I believe that she will get that. What do you think, Chris? She has that. Woods, what do you think? This is actually a trick question, my friend. It could go either way because it is a noun and a verb, but I'm going to go that she knows that. She's going to say it's a verb. And what do you say? I'm one hot for teacher. I say she gets it right and says verb. All right. We all believe that she will get it right. Verb. Bam. She got it. Nice. She got it. Well done. If you get a run in baseball, that's a noun. But I don't think it's a proper run. You can go for a run. That's true. Question number two. What pop sensation just swept the Grammys with her hit single, Rolling in the Deep? Answer is Adele. Let's start with you this time, Chris. Will she or will she not know? She has that. Woods, what do you think? No question. M1 hop for teacher. She's a woman. She'll know. I say she does not know. Adele. Dang it. Mike. Something about her told me she didn't know, and I was real wrong. She's a human. Oh, she's a human. Everyone knows rolling in a deep. That is true. All right, here's the third question for her. Karen, name the city and team of this year's Super Bowl champion. Oh, that is a good one. Woodsy, will she know that it's the New York Giants? She will not. M1 hot for teacher.
She's from Boston, Mass. She will know that. Damn it. U.S.O.B. You just talked me into it. You're smart. Yes, she will know. Chris? She's got it. Yep. New York Giants. Gosh, just no hesitation. Wow. Damn it. Wow. Come on, Woods. You're better than that. Okay, so what is the score right now? Right now, Chris and M1 Hot for Teacher are tied with three. All right. Hang on the line. Hang on the line. This is M1 Rick from Escondido. You there, Rick? Yeah. All right, Rick. So I just realized you probably should have got somebody on the line that everybody could be represented by. Because if everybody's represented somebody, because if Chris wins, what are we going to do? Give Chris a prize? Yeah, that's usually what we do. You know what I mean? I can pick somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a while. So call us right now. Yeah. Okay, two more callers. Yeah, call us right now. We need another caller. We need another caller. Yeah. But we will let you play right now, Rick. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, let's get a feel for this guy. Okay, I'm here with... Russ. Where are you from? Ocean Beach, California. And Russ, how many drinks have you had tonight? Today or tonight? Oh, wow. Eleven. Wow, okay.
Wow. That's a lot of drinks. That is a lot of drinks. Sunday, by the way. What's that? This was a Sunday. Oh, my. Sunday brunch. Here was his first question. What famous 80s pop star recently passed away of an alleged overdose of prescription drugs? The answer is Whitney Houston. It's the biggest story. It's still the biggest story out there. I say he knows. Chris, what do you think? No. He will not know. No, no. Woods, he knows. M1, Rick. I don't think he knows. Here we go. Whitney Houston. It's a huge story. Huge. It was a huge story. It'd be hard to miss it. Yeah, it would. Here's his second question. What is the capital of California? Capital of California, Sacramento.
There's so many things that could play into him getting this right or wrong. Chris, what do you think? Nah, he's got it. Woods just gulped like, oh my gosh, you threw me off. Throwing Woodsy off. He does not know the capital of California. Chris, you said what? I said yeah. I said no. He has to. M1 Rick? Yes. I say he does not. Sacramento. Yes, it's great. Come on. I thought there was no way. You looked like you doubted yourself there. Gosh darn. Should have seen his face when he said it. Oh, wow. Just really. Sacramento. Sacramento. Oh, wow. All right. Question number three for this guy. Who's the host of NBC's Fear Factor? He's been the host forever. Joe Rogan. Yeah. He's been the host forever. Woods, will he know? There is no chance.
M1 Rick. I'm going to go with no on this one. I say he knows. I have to. If I'm going to mount any kind of comeback. Chris. He doesn't know. So, everybody but me. I'm out on a limb. Matt Comrance O'Brien. Matt Comrance O'Brien. Take a real guess. What was the question again? Who's the host of NBC's Fear Factor? Is he positive? Now or a few years ago? Now. Now. It's the same guy. Something Rogan. I'm going with Mr. Rogan. They get it. I think we got to give it to him. I think so. They give it to him on Jeopardy. I was going to wait for you guys. I was like, I'll see what they say. Mr. Rogan. Now, what's the score? Right now, you're in the lead with this round, Mike, of two, and everybody else has one. You took a chance. Is it already done? Is that it? That means it's it, right? Here's the deal. We had two rounds with one with M1 Hot for Teacher where Chris and Hot for Teacher were tied. Ah, then we can have a playoff. Tiebreaker. That's still a playoff. Tied with who? M1 Hot for Teacher and Chris are tied with each other. Okay. Hey, Rick. Thank you for playing, dude. And there's two tiebreaker questions. You could use the guy's tiebreaker or the girl's. Okay, and you said that it'll be between... Chris.
Chris. And Hot for Teacher. And Hot for Teacher. Okay, we're going to have a playoff. All right, Hot for Teacher, you ready? Yes, I am. All right, here is one of the playoff questions. Here we go. What 2006 drama starred Leonardo DiCaprio as a mole for the Irish Mafia? Again, the question was, what 2006 drama starred Leonardo DiCaprio as a mole from the Irish Mafia? The movie was The Departed. Now, will this girl know the answer to that, Chris? Yeah. M1 hot for teacher. My heart is racing right now. Saying yes. Are you both saying yes? Can't both say yes. Can't both say yes. You better take, you got to take no. You have to take no. Okay, I'm going to take no. All right. But it's Irish and Boston. All right. Oh, no. Let's see. Departed. Oh, my gosh. She knew. She knew. She knew. Holy cow. That's a smart girl right there, man. Irish and Boston. Irish and Boston. Holy cow. That means that the person that was hanging on the line that wanted to pick Chris is M1 Frankie from San Diego. Are you there, Frankie? Yeah, I'm here. Hey, your boy did it for you.
Congratulations, Frankie. Yeah, congratulations. Chris did. Filling in for me. That's great. So smart. Filling in my shoes, huh? You think you're so special, don't you? Chris, I told you once. You're fired. Hang on. I'm fired, boy. My vein hurts. You're a Verde vein? Yeah. Verde vein. It has a name. I'm going to tell you what it is as soon as I find out. Did you look it up? No. No, but I will. Mikey has a painful green vein running down his stomach. Ouch. It's a green vein. That is a true story. Woods refuses to look at it. I will not look at it. And if you show it to me, I'm going to be mad. I'll kick you in your shin. I know that you will. I want to see both of those things happen. Listen to this email. My son's in fifth grade. His elementary school is about two miles away from our house. I know this sounds cliche, but when I was a kid, I walked over two miles to school. Yes, sometimes it was in the snow.
I want those same values I had as a kid to be passed down to my son. So I make him walk two miles to school every day, even when it's cold. One of the teachers at the school became concerned and actually called to talk about it with me. It's not like he's in danger or anything. It's a few miles away and my son doesn't seem to mind. Our kids so spoiled and chubby these days. That they always have to be driven to school. Shouldn't kids be more self-sufficient? M1 William. Listen, William. I don't think it's a question of fat and exercise. I think it's a question of creeps. Yeah. Safety. Right? Isn't it? I think so. I think that it's a question of creeps. Now, if you take the creep factor out of it, what if there's a bunch of kids walking together? I don't think that walking a couple of miles to school is a big deal, do you? It's kind of far. Yeah, if there's safety in numbers, I don't know. I just don't, I don't even have kids yet, and I don't know if I would let them do that. There's a lot of creeps out there. And, well, but Woods, aren't we wussifying America if we say... By not letting our kids walk to school? A couple miles.
A couple miles? I mean, I don't know. Like, just because you did it when you were a kid doesn't make... Doesn't make it right. It doesn't mean, and it doesn't mean that he's going to get those same values that you had. Yeah, because we did it as a kid, does that mean that it's the right thing to do? Exactly. I don't know. Yeah, my mom used to force me to eat cream of wheat, and it's hideous. I'm not going to do that to my kids. Why? Make them healthy. Because it's hideous. You'll make them healthy, though. You should. But you can give them something else. It tastes like butt. It's disgusting. Cream of wheat is gross. It's hideous. Your mom didn't put sugar in it? No. And I used to do the... I have to do the bit where I had to sit there until I finished it. Did you pretend to, like, gag? Oh. Are you kidding? Who are you talking to? You must have so dramatically... So gross. This is disgusting. What would she... She wouldn't give you any... I don't care. Eat it. Finish it, and then you can go play. That's different, though. You're not going to die from eating cream of wheat or get kidnapped from eating cream of wheat. That's true. Well, if you got a bunch of numbers... Probably all right. What if this guy, if he took turns with the parents and he, like, walked once a week with them? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. If he was, like, the troop leader. Because he's got a job. What age is it appropriate for a kid to start walking to school? Seventh grade. Ooh, good question. Seventh grade. Seventh grade, I'm okay with. Ten years old, I'm not okay with. Right. I believe you're 11 or 12. Yeah. In seventh grade? Yeah. Jay said his son will walk to school. Jasper, who is eight years old, with a group of kids.
Which I was shocked about. Yeah, if it's a whole gaggle of kids, they're safe. Gang of kids is cool, I think. You know, you're good with your gang. But, you know, I don't see, I think two miles is, I'm not saying that it's torturous or anything, but I'm saying that. It ain't Guantanamo. Yeah, it's not Gitmo or anything, but hey. It would take them like 25 minutes probably. Really? Yeah. This takes me longer. Brianne is calling from Mission Valley. Are you there, Brianne? Hi, yeah. What do you think? I think that there is no way that I would ever let my daughter walk to school. She actually had to walk like two blocks to school, and I would prefer a walker myself or a driver. There are too many abductions. What if she has more people? What if she's got a whole bunch of kids with her? Nope. I don't trust those other kids. No way. No. I am so protective, but I just feel like, you know what, it's better to be overprotective than take a chance because anything can happen. So you think that even when she's walking with a whole bunch of other kids, something weird might happen? Maybe. I don't know, but I don't want to take that chance. And, you know, I know that people accuse me of being overprotective, but, you know, you hear of things happening and... Hey, listen, I err more on your side than I do the other side. I'm freaked out, you know?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. And what that guy said about, you know, our kids so fat and lazy, I'm sorry, that has nothing to do with it. My daughter gets plenty of activity after school. You know, you do things to keep them busy. And plus, that's a lot of time to walk to school in the morning. And she has to be to school by 730 anyway. So, you know, I'd have to make her leave the house at like 645 or whatever. Wait, wait, wait. How far away do you live? I'm saying if it's two miles. If it's two miles. Yeah. But how far away do you live now? Now I live like 20 minutes away from the school driving. So, of course, you know. There's no way. Yeah, there's no way. No, no, there's no way. I don't think driving your kids to school wussifies them. No. I just don't, you know. I don't think it makes them wusses. I don't think it makes them wusses. But at the same time, I think, man, are we overreacting if we think that it's. bad for them to walk two miles no i don't think that the physical exertion is bad i don't think two miles or even the four miles if you're talking up and back i don't think that's a lot at all i used to walk by myself fourth grade fourth and fifth grade by myself for at least two or three miles to school in yuma and uh yeah man i mean i would never you can't do that now now would you get scared um no because it was my normal
Yeah. It was just my normal. And so if I was scared, it may have been in the beginning. Yeah. But then it got to be my normal and I just didn't care. Let's see. M1 Anonymous is on the line and is calling. I guess you work for Child Protective Services. Is that is that right? Yes, that is. And what were you calling to say? I mean, just an inherent safety risk of a 10 year old walking two miles to school. It's kind of ludicrous to. to expect that the child would be safe during that whole two miles. And in the email, it sounded like first he said two miles, then he was saying a few miles. There's some inconsistencies going on. So I'm kind of agreeing with the teacher that there's maybe something more going on. What do you mean? Just really the inconsistency in the story. Is it two miles? Is it three miles? And that lends to think that maybe there's other inconsistencies in the story that the teacher might be seeing that we're not seeing. Yeah.
Yeah, and that teacher calling and getting involved, if I'm a parent, that doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I wore the same sweatshirt for like six weeks when I was in fourth grade. My teacher called my mom and asked if we were having financial problems. Really? Because I wore a Notre Dame sweatshirt that my dad got me, and I loved it so much. I put it on over all my stuff. She called my mom and was like, is everything okay at home? She's like, why do you ask? Well, he's wearing the same sweatshirt every single day. Was your mom mad? Not at all. She was embarrassed at first and then was like, hey, I dress you. I tell you what to wear and then you're putting that thing on. You can't do that. I would appreciate the concern. Absolutely. At least someone's looking out for him there. Well, I mean, sure, if she plans on buying you a wardrobe. Otherwise, she might be able to give you resources. She was very concerned. Yeah. About my grimy blue sweatshirt. Guy wants to wear a sweatshirt. But, dude. When I say every day, I mean every day. If I wore the same thing every day now, you'd be like, Woodsy, you're wearing the same clothes that you've worn every day. So your mom didn't see you putting this thing on? Had it in my backpack. Just throw it on? Throw it on. How come? Because she would tell me not to wear it every day. You can't wear that sweatshirt everywhere you go. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I won't, I won't. And then I'd do the bit where I put it on. Every single day. Kid's been breaking rules since he was a little kid.
The kid was a kid even when he was a kid. The kid was a kid even when he was a kid. How's it possible? I just don't know. My fourth grade school picture. Me, like this. You can see like a plaid shirt poking out underneath and my blue hoodie sweatshirt with the ND on it. My fourth grade school picture. My goodness. Hilarious. This is M1J fan from San Marcos. Are you there? I'm here. What's up? Somebody had to represent our generation, so I had to call. It's like we should just wrap kids in bubble pack and set them out the door. We're all so wussified now. Well, what about predators? Oh, I agree with that. I mean, if he's walking by himself, yeah, there's concerns about it. But, you know, I just think once in a while we've got to take a chance or two in this world. I mean, I'm not saying the kids should be out there where... Walking down the street by himself. No, but, I mean, if he's got anybody with him or something like that, you know, or maybe dad walks with him occasionally. Yeah, I think if dad walks with him. Yeah, dad might have to work. Dad must be unemployed. What dads do you think can just be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to walk my kid to school today? Well, what worries me about kids is they keep things from you because they don't want to get in trouble or they don't want to deal with it. So what if he got out there and none of his other friends were there? He'd just walk.
On his own. And you would never know. Yeah, what if he falls behind the pack and he's doing something? I mean, it's just scary. There's a bill in Arizona that might allow parents to start snooping on their kids' texts. Right now they can't, but if this law goes through, they're going to have access to their kids' text messages. What do you guys think about that? What do you mean they can't already is my response. Yeah, I think it's right now they say it's illegal and it's a violation of human rights and civil rights. And even though it's a kid, they have civil rights. I disagree with that. I feel like if it's a kid, you don't have civil rights. I have it. I am your civil rights. If it's my if I pay for the if you that kid has a paper route and he's paying for the phone, then I don't get to look at it. He bought it. If it's my property. I get to look at that phone. She makes a good point. So if your kid got a job, you're still going to be like, I want your phone. Yeah. I'll tell you when I won't be looking at my kid's stuff. 18. No. Yeah. No, no, no. House. When he's out of the house. He's 18. He's living at home. Really? Okay. Get out of town. It's time you're coming home. No way. You know what that is? That is meant to be an incentive. It's meant to motivate. Leave the house, little bird. Dude. You know what my dad did?
Charge me rent. Yeah. When you turned 18? Yes. Yeah. And I was like, I ain't doing this. So when you did, did you end up paying some rent? Yeah. Cause I had to move out. Right. And if I was going to pay rent, I wasn't going to be living with mom and dad, but my dad was trying to gross me up. Sure. My bit though is, Hey, I'm paying rent. I'll come home when I want. You didn't say that to my dad. Well, but in my head, I'm like, I'm paying. And doesn't that make sense to you? You're charging me rent. I'll pay your rent. But. You're done. Like, you can't ask me what I'm doing, where I'm going. Yeah, I can't look at your dress. You treat me like a tenant. I'm going to act like a tenant. Yeah. You know, you can't you can't look at texts after 18. But up until 18, even if they're paying for it. Hey, listen, you're still a kid. We didn't have cell phones when I was a kid, but I had notes and I kept a box of notes. I was 16 years old. I went to go visit my brother who was living in North Carolina and I was scouting out schools. I went to Duke and I went to UNC to like see the campus and stuff like that.
While I was gone, my parents raided my bedroom. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. They found a case of warm beer that actually used to belong to my sister. A case, by the way. Not one beer. Not a six-pack. From about three years earlier that my sister left in the yard that I found and brought up to my room to just be like, oh, I got some beer. Lauren O'Brien had a case of beer. Well, then they found my box of notes. They read them. They read every single... Did any of them admit stuff? They admitted stuff that my parents didn't know what the slang was for, so they filled in the blanks. And they thought I was, like, having sex and, like, partying. Meanwhile, I was, like, as prude and straight-edged as you could get. They're like, what does taking it to the house mean? And I was also grounded for a long time. Maybe you don't read my notes. Yeah, that's what I said. How could you? How could you? How could you? So dramatic. It's so, so dramatic. I love it. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. On average, 1 in 30 homes get hit by termites. Get to them before they get to you with the Terminex Ultimate Protection Guarantee. Call 1-800-Terminex for your no-obligation inspection. The weather's getting warmer, and that means it's time to start working on your yard.
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Well, a few things happening here. On the 94 westbound pass, North Euclid Avenue, there's an accident there. Swinging over on the 5 northbound before the bridge, looks like an accident there. I don't see a backup yet, but I anticipate one pretty soon. Then as you travel over here onto the, well, the... The five is pretty bad. The five northbound from 9th Street Plaza Boulevard to the 54 East. It's about 14 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Pro Nutrients, a new line of three select supplements from the makers of Centrum. Help make nutrition possible. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his leg. On FM 94.9. I'm telling you, fellas, all the stuff that had to do with Chris Dielman made you feel like you had a little onion in your eye. You were like, uh, allergies, allergies. Yeah, yeah, I'm not crying because I'm sad.
Yeah, man, it was a sad day yesterday for the Chargers as Chris Dielman retired after nine years with the organization. He was an undrafted free agent. And so yesterday they asked him, what was your, this is him talking about the part of the game that he loved the most. I think as an old lineman, you know, the passing records are great, but I like to run the ball. And during those, those were some fun years, man. And we ran the ball hard and we ran it effectively. And LT, you know, broke all those records. you know it was just a privilege to be on the field with a guy like lt and guys like philip you know like i said the people i've met over the years i mean i'm having beers with peyton manning in hawaii i mean come on this is a guy i watched growing up you know playing in lambeau field against brett farve really this is another guy you know just so the opportunities and the people i've met and the and the things i've done that i can't be i'm thankful for it and it was awesome it was a fun ride that's cool
That's cool. Very cool, man. Very cool. He'll be missed, definitely, in that locker room. Also, did you guys see the story in the paper about Mikey's show guest and friend of the show, our boy Mark Kotze? Yeah. The front page of the sports page today. Just really driving home the point that he has been a key pickup for this team. I'm really excited about the Padres this year. They got new players, and Mark Kotze is one of them. He's going to bring to that locker room. That veteran leadership. Just having him in here for an hour, wouldn't you want to play with that cat every day? He's a good dude. A good dude, a straight shooter, and the guy wants to win. He texts you about the ice bath? Yeah, he actually, it was funny, he references it in the article. He says... He's had some back problems. And he goes, it's like I had oil changes in 2007, 2009. We have a maintenance program now that I repeat daily. I'm lucky I made it past the injuries. But he texted Mike and I the other day that said he was sitting in a cold ice tub. Yeah. And he said, you should see me right now. I wrote back and said.
I feel like my soul just left my body. Just sitting in a whole tub of ice. You know how he taught us about that stuff, Tordal, that they take that makes them lucid but the pain goes away? I wrote him back. I said, if you shoot me up with Tordal, I can get into a bunch of ice water like that. I don't even think I could. I used to have to do, in high school, I had really bad shin splints. And I would do just from the knees down in a whirlpool of ice. And it was like, just from the knees down. I can't imagine putting your whole body in there. They did a whole segment, LLB, on the... The thing on HBO that Brian Gumbel. Real Sports. And they did this whole segment on those ice tubs. They're painful. Some guys are big ice tub guys. Other guys aren't. Ben Roethlisberger. He said he'll never do it. He'll never do it. Just no way. He has never done it and he won't do it. And then there were other guys that they kind of take pride in their ice tubbing. How long do they tub? Did it say?
I think the average is about 15 minutes. I think on average they stay about 15. We did 20, and the grossest part was it was a shared tub. So I'd be in there with, like, baseball players or football players, whatever. Just different parts of our bodies just hanging in that gross tub. I remember walking through Charger Park, and it was during practice. And at the time, it was, who was number 80 that used to play here? That we knew. Kasim. Kasim. Kasim. Ah, yes. And he was sitting in a gigantic blue plastic tub outdoors of ice water. And he goes, Mikey, in the morning. And I looked over and I saw him sitting in that thing. I go, hey, dude. And I looked at that water and I thought, that is a different kind of individual. That is. The man that can get into a big tub of ice. That's a different individual. And stay there. Woods is right. There's a huge story about Mark Kotze today in the Union Tribune, the UT. This is M1 Jeremy from Oceanside. Jeremy, what was the word of the day? That's right. You just got yourself a pair of tickets to see Rise Against at Viejas Arena, formerly Cox Arena, and it's at April 15th at SDSU. Awesome. Thank you. You got it, dude. Hang on the line.
There was a whole school that got put on lockdown because of autocorrect. Here's why. This kid was trying to text a friend and during the course of the text was trying to write the word gunna. And apparently, to make it even worse, he texted it to the wrong person. Oh, no. And that person saw the autocorrect of gunna, which is gunman. And so what it read was gunman at West Hall. Now West Hall is a real place, the West Hall community. It's the West Hall Community Center. And so the person that got the wrong text alerted the authorities. Holy cow. Said, hey, I just got this text from somebody random. And it says that there's a gunman at West Hall. Wow. No, all the kid was trying to say was I'm going to be at West Hall.
That's all he was trying to say. All right, texting during class, trying to be all quick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. And if he had just wrote going to instead of gonna. Yeah. Yeah. He'd be a slang guy. Never would have happened. He wouldn't be in the news today. God. If he had just done that. What do you guys think about, because we were talking about the, being able to see the text and all that stuff, and LLB was telling us about how. She kind of went, she went a little wild when her parents busted her and she wasn't really guilty. Yeah, I was very straight edge and prude. And I was an athlete and I cared about sports and I cared about my academics and I had a job. I was a babysitter. So I was never doing anything. Nerd. I know. But then, I know I was. I had notes that I had in school and they just filled in the blanks. They thought because I was saying stuff, well, I won't put the terms out there. Yeah. But they thought I was a little hooah. Yeah. And so they like put me on lockdown, would not believe me. The beers that I found, I literally found them and thought it was funny that my sister had these MGD cans outside under the deck and my sister was already at.
college for two years so i brought him up to my room for whatever stupid 16 year old reason right and they wouldn't believe me so i was like you know what you guys are gonna i'm gonna get in trouble anyway then i'm gonna do it absolutely i'm gonna be wild and i'm gonna go break the rules because you know what if you guys i'm gonna get busted anyway well here's the deal that's why i say you gotta say yes so your nose means something gotta say yes so that your nose means something they drove me to it Those parents, parents finding your notes and reading them. Come on. And can I tell you guys how it went down? OK, so I went and I stayed with my brother who was he's like six years older than me. So he's just first job out of college. He's living in North Carolina. I stay with him. I get like beers, even though I'm not supposed to. We have this killer weekend. He's driving me to the airport. He's like, Dad told me not to tell you this, but I got to tell you. He's like, you're going to be. A lot of trouble when you get home. Oh, my gosh. I was like, what? Why? He's like, they found a lot of stuff in your room. I'm like, what did they find? And he's like telling me, he's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. He's like giving me a hug. Goodbye. Going back to his fun life. Oh, my gosh. With him and his three roommates. And you are just sweating. The whole plane ride home. I was like, I'm dead. Okay, so L.O.B. I'm dead. What? Oh, God. You land at LaGuardia? No, Philly. You landed in Philly. So the plane taxis to the runway. Yep.
Did you think about anything else during the course of that flight? No. Nothing, right? I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack. Oh, were you really? Were you having a panic attack? Yeah. And I was like, what did they find? What did they find? Also, I went to a 311 concert where they were handing out Trojans. So there was Trojans in the box. There was rubbers in there. Okay. So I'm thinking in my head, I'm going through the inventory of what they possibly could have found. And did you remember that one? Oh, yeah. Oh, crap. I remember that one. plane lands, and your heart is just pounding. Oh, yeah. Who picks you up? My dad. Just my dad. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Just my dad. Just my dad. Now, was this during the days where dads and moms could meet you right at the gate when you came off the plane, or did he have to meet you at baggage? He met me at baggage. Okay, so you, oh, my gosh. The walk from the gate. To baggage. I was, like, crying just thinking about it on the plane. I would break into, like, what he was going to say or what my punishment was going to be. How much do you remember? About what he said to me? Yes, about when you... Okay, so you round the corner and you see your father. Yep. Arms crossed. Oh, God bless. Standing there. He's trying to play it cool, too. Now, as a dad, I can tell you something. As a dad, you're just...
you're chomping at the freaking bit. Because you think the girl that's walking towards you is sleeping with guys, partying, your little girl. Right. And then she goes off to North Carolina having a ball. Hey. Hey, Rubbers. How you doing, Rubbers, MGD? Were you shooting an adult film in North Carolina? Is that where you really were? Were you out of the shoot? Oh, my gosh. When I put myself in their shoes now, I could understand why they would want to rip my head off and never let me out of the house. Yeah. Now, you say he played it cool. He played it cool. How was it? What did you think? What did you think of the university? What were you saying? This is cool. And I was like, maybe they got over it. Maybe they're not going to bring it up. Maybe my brother talked some sense into them. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So anything in the car? Is that where it started? Nothing in the car. So you're sitting there quiet? My dad listened to two things in the car, either country or sports radio, 610 WIP. And so we listen, and it's on AM.
So we just sat there and listened to, yeah, I think the birds are going to have a good season, you know? She's vomiting in her head. You want to vomit. I can smell like the leather of my dad's Lincoln Continental. Oh, my gosh. Was it cold out? Was it cold out when you got back? It was brisk. It was gray. It was very gray. It was like the beginning of March. How long is the drive from the airport back to your place? With my dad driving, about an hour. I do it about 35 minutes. Good God. So he made this. This Gitmo specialist. This Guantanamo Bay specialist made you sit there the whole time for an hour. For an hour driving back. So you get back home. Does he get your suitcase? Do you get your suitcase? He got it. Let me get that for you. Let me get that for you, Lauren. Let me get that. Let me get that. This will get you. So how did it happen? Walk in the door. My mom's in the kitchen waiting. Spread out on the kitchen table. Son of a bee. Spread out. Oh, my God. As if I was walking into a courtroom. She's sitting there? My mom was standing, like, doing dishes or whatever she was usually doing in the kitchen. Right. And spread out on the table. Go down the inventory. Box of notes all unfolded and opened. Oh, my God. With, like, some of the things were circled in red. Oh, my God. No freaking way. No freaking way. Be sure to bring this one up. What does this mean? Holy cow.
There were a box of cigarettes. Unopened, by the way. Unopened! I don't care. Unopened. I don't care, little girl. Unopened. What do you got? A pack of Marlboros. Really? A pack of Winstons? Yep. Oh, my God. Yep. Winstons. The MGD cans in a backpack. And the condoms, which were individually, not only individually wrapped, but then in a cardboard little thing they came in. And I had three of those. And I thought I was like, cool, because I went to a 311 concert and the Trojan rep was like, hey, you guys want glow sticks and condoms? You were 16. Yes. So you walk into the kitchen and your mother turns around and you see exhibit A, B, and C all laid out on the table. And who spoke first? My mom says, oh, look who's home. Did you have a good trip? Oh, my God. Your parents are CIA agents. I can feel this. I can feel it. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. No kidding. I know it. I know it. I know it. I'm so tense hearing this story. I'm so tense. I'm walking around. I know. I'm pacing. I know. Gosh, I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore. She said, oh, look who's home. Look who's home. And she dried off her hands with a dish towel. Yeah.
What about your dad? What's he doing? Following me in with a suitcase. He walked behind me with a suitcase. Like I was walking the plank. Did everything just dump into your stomach? Like just ice ball in the stomach? I think I started crying because my brother had already told me. So I wasn't completely ambushed. I was like, and here it is. Right. And here it is. And so OJ wasn't as nervous walking into his court appearance as she was walking down that hallway. He was not. He was not as nervous. No way. He goes, I got a better shot at getting off than she does. There's no question. OJ would call in and be like, girl, it sounds like you were screwed in that case. Telling this story makes me feel like I'm going to get grounded again. Because I can put myself into my little 16-year-old skinny mind. and, like, walking in with my champion sweatshirt on. Oh, yeah, real good. And did she say, did your mom go, have a seat? Yep, yep. So all three of us sat at the table. Now, I had a little brother, I have a little brother and sister. Yeah, and they were purposely, like, down in the basement watching a movie or something so that they would be, like, gone. So they could have some time. Okay, so you sit down.
Who does the majority of the Italian do both? Lauren is getting worked up now like you can see the sweat. Because the first question my mom asked me was so ridiculous. What? She goes, are you a lesbian? Are you a lesbian? Are you a lesbian? Why? Because you had a copy of Lesbo magazine splayed out on the table? And I was almost like it was so like left field. I didn't know where she gathered that from because there was condoms. I'm like, I think you would be like. Right. Mom, I'm not going to get a girl pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, what? I had no idea where that one came from. That would actually put me at ease. Explain that. It did. It was so comical because there was like love. Yeah. A lot of those in the emails and a lot of like I said, not emails. Letters. Notes. I can't remember all of the slang, but there was so much slang that they didn't know what it meant. And so you were writing to another girl. Another girl. Yeah. Being like, love you. And being like, oh, my gosh, you're the best. Like all this stuff. And then being like, let's totally have a sleepover, like innocent stuff. Right. And she's like.
What did you mean by sleepover? Yeah. Oh, they filled in the blanks like a mother. Okay, so when you said no, mom. I was like, no. I'm not a lesbian. Yeah. Did she believe you? But I was like. I'm not going to get in trouble if I am a lesbian. So what? Yeah. What next? What next do you have? We just want to know, Lauren. We want to know. Yeah. Then what does this mean? What is it? I'm like, oh, my. You guys are so humiliating right now. Asking me what things meant. 16 year old girl. Like, oh, my God. Were you saying that or were you like, you guys are so dumb. You guys are so embarrassing. What do you mean? I'm like, yeah, I can't. Well, first it was I can't believe you. did that. Yes, I mean, just the most dramatic. Meryl Streep. Over the top. Like, that's my... Your room is in our house. And if you're under this roof, you follow it. That's not your damn room. That's my room. That's my room that I pay for. Holy cow. Oh my gosh. So yeah, they questioned me on every single item and they would not believe. It was probably like an hour and a half.
Of like going back and, oh, you know what? It probably was only like 20 minutes, but felt like an hour and a half, you know? Have a seat. Oh, God. While you've been gone, we were taking a look at some of the things you have in your room. Why is there plastic on the ground? We want to know, you know someone named Trojan? No. Why? Is that your nickname? Trojan? No? What do you mean? Well, I found your little packet, Trojan. Gosh. Those are from a concert. Can I ask you a question, man? Of course. You a lesbian? No, I'm not a lesbian. Tell me the truth, dude. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. I would, and no joke, this is what came out of my mouth. Even if I was, who cares? What did they say to that? You are not. You are not. Just throwing it back at them. Right, right. Even if I was, who cares? You are freaking grumbling, man. No.
Why? I didn't do anything wrong. You are freaking grounded. Come on, Meg. Don't ground her, Meg. No, man. She grounded. No, Meg. Come on, Meg. Let me tell you something. Please. If you keep the begging, I'm only going to make a war. Please. Can you explain to me what the hell a gold, what the hell a glow sticky? They just gave it out at the concert. They're just fun. Is that a lesbian apparata? No. Yes, it could be, but no. She's not a lesbian. She's a lesbian, man. She's not a lesbian. That's what the glow stick is for, man. It is not. What do you think she uses glow stick for? Even if it ain't to care. Filthy partner with your glow sticks. Oh, that is...
That is one of my favorite Lauren O'Brien. There's no question. The only other worst time was when I got caught having a party in my house. That's bad. My parents came home during it, and there was about 100 kids in my house. Your dad said, and I quote. He said, please exit in an orderly fashion. Yes. As people were running out, knocking into each other, jumping over bushes. Oh, my God. He actually said. Please exit in an orderly fashion. But what he did was he said he was too mad to talk to me that night. That's pissed. And he said, go to bed. And I went to bed. And the problem was I woke up and I was like, oh, and then it hit me. I remembered because it was Saturday morning. And I was like, good morning. Oh, this today is going to suck. I'm going to be raking leaves today. I was awake for about three hours before I went downstairs. Oh, my gosh. Gosh, darn. The interrogation room will get you. I got sick one time on our porch. Been out drinking with my buddies. I was 16. Came home. Forgot my keys. Had to knock on the door at 1 a.m. My dad had to let me in. He'd been asleep for hours. Yes, he had. About 9.30. He worked hard. Hardworking guy. Speaking of hours, I was two hours late. Curfew. Curfew was 11. It was one.
I just puked on our porch and had to knock on the door. That didn't wake him up, though. So I had to start ringing the doorbell. Because knocking on the door, my dad, you know, he kind of was a hard sleeper. And so with my dad, you had to really make sure you... Hello? Anybody here? Oh, my God. Can you open the door? Oh, no. Open the door. He opens the door, and I go... My God, it took it long enough. Oh, gosh. No, you didn't. I did. You said that? Because it did take a long time. You didn't say that. But in my drunk mind, in my drunk mind, what did I know? How was that next day? The next day was the worst because he and I had to build a fence. He still made me build the fence. I was getting sick in the holes that I was digging with a hole digger, and he didn't care. Oh, my God. He made me do it. Mikey Show, FM 94.9.
What's up there, Dumpling? It's Hillary with some shows we need to go check out. Like tonight for a Friday night, see Mellie Francis and the Distilled Spirits at Bar 11. Roddy Radiation of the Specials plays the Cow's Paw tonight. You can see Groove Kitty at Hensley's Flying Elephant. And at Brick by Brick, the Aristocrats. Now, Tuesday, vlogging Molly are at House of Blues. Next Thursday, the 8th, the silent comedy Dead Feather Moon and the Howls play the belly up. And Lagwagon plays House of Blues next Friday night, March 9th. Still to come, shows from Pussifer, Ani DeFranco, Sleigh Bells, Portugal the Man, Transfer, The Hives, Tune Yards with St. Vincent and Delta Spirit. So there you have it. Get out there. Wait, what was I just saying? For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. I'm going to tell you something, man. What I'm going to tell you is the end has come for all the other furniture stores, man. Because Jerome's is going to give you Jerry's prices every single day. Those other stupid places, man. You walk in there on the Labor Day.
The Veterans Day, the President's Day, just because you want to get an end table for a cheaper price, that's why we got Jerry's price, man. Every day is Jerry's price, man. Every single day. You don't have to put up with a gimmick. You don't have to put up with smoke and freaking mirrors, man. Come on, man. No, you don't have to. Come on, man. Why would you want to? Let me ask you a question, man. If you go into a place and you buy yourself a piece of furniture, when do you expect it to be delivered? Very soon. You want it very soon, but if you go to most places, you're not going to get it very soon, man. Jerome's, you're going to get it the same day. The same day, man? Same day. The same day! The same day? 57 years! The San Marcos, the Chula Vista, the El Cajon, the Screams Lounge, man.
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Still a lot of slowing this morning. It is easing up a bit, but the 52 westbound is still a backup here at that ramp from the 125. It's about 15 miles an hour. Some slowing as you come into the 5 northbound. Speeds are getting a little better. Division Street to Harbor Drive, it's in the upper 30s. And then on the South 5 to the 8 to 8 connector, it looks like we've got a stalled vehicle. This report brought to you also by the San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union's proudly introduced SDCCU Mobile Deposit. Super easy. Check, snap, deposit. Enroll today at sdccu.com. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. How many suits you got? One. And the only reason I don't have more than one is because I never know what's going to happen with my weight. Woods. I'd rather watch a tornado than watch soccer. Yeah. I'd rather watch a fake tornado than watch soccer. That's just me, though. Lauren. I rolled my eyes so hard, I didn't think they were going to come back down. And Jay. I'm bringing the war to your shores. No. Yes. On FM 94.9. It's that movie with Danny DeVito. It's a movie for kids. It's a Dr. Seuss movie, so you take your kids. I'll see it. I don't have kids. You would still see it? The Lorax is one of my favorite Dr. Seuss books. I've never even heard of it. It's where he's trying to save the trees. Oh. I'm the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And then Project X is out today.
So go see those movies if you're into it. Did you hear about this guy? This Marine, this is a really, really cool story. This Marine was, he decided that he was going to do something very altruistic and donated bone marrow for a bone marrow transplant for someone. And the next day won $2.9 million in a jackpot. Wow. 26-year-old Marine. And his bone marrow, it matched this patient that was an anonymous person who needed a transplant. And it's very painful, the process. The process to give the bone marrow, it's extremely painful. I can imagine. And the guy went through it. And three days later, sorry. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. He dropped his microphone. Oh, gosh. His mic just fell off. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What the heck? It popped off. It popped off like a mushroom top. Holy cow. There it is. Did you get it? There we go. Scared me to death. Scared me to death. It goes, and rolled down your arms. 2.9 million. That's how much the guy got. It's incredible. That is called instant karma. Yep. In a good way. It'll get you. Penny slot machines is what he was playing. No way. Yeah. So he was up and at them the next day. Yeah. Look at that guy. So there you go.
What else do I want to tell you about? Oh, Target had to pull a greeting card because it was in poor taste. Now, this thing had already been out there. It wasn't like they made this greeting card after. But apparently, they had a greeting card that said, next time you think of dating the bad boy, consider Whitney Houston. Oh, no. That's all I'm going to say, it said. Well, after Whitney Houston died, people started to complain. hey, you might want to take this card out of circulation. And so people did complain and they did have to take it out of circulation. Question. Yes. On what occasion would you give someone that card? Say it was before she even passed away. It was supposed to be after your best girlfriend broke up with some jerk or got dumped by some jerk. Does that make her feel any better? Right. I read. It makes her laugh. It makes her laugh.
She's like, yeah, it's true. I'm not. Where do you file that card? I read Whitney was jacked before she met Bobby Brown, so feast on that. Really? Yep. That's probably what Bobby's telling everybody, too, because they're all over his case. Wasn't me. Yeah. It wasn't me. It wasn't my fault. Call us if you could finish this sentence. You might be a tough dude, but there's just this I can't handle. You're a tough guy, but there's one thing that you can't handle. Like, for me, it's... It's very difficult for me to do the diaper thing. Why? Because of poo. Yeah, yeah. The stench? Yes, it's just, I don't know, man. I have a real hard time wiping a baby. It's just disgusting. Oh, it's the wiping. That part gets me. For me, it's the smell. It gets you. Yeah. You're a tough guy, but... I don't really consider myself a tough guy, but I think that, you know, poo? It's stinky. But Woods, you could finish this sentence. I might be a tough guy, but I can't open a bag of dog bones without getting sick. That is true. That happened to me. You gagged on dog bones. I threw up in the sink. I threw up. I didn't just gag. I vomited. And all it was was dog bones. It was dog treats. Chicken treats. And I go, hey, who wants a treat? And I, you know, I pulled it open. And it was in my face. And I went, and I threw up in the sink.
Meanwhile, were the dogs just taking the opportunity to feast? They were just waiting for me to throw it down. They were waiting for me to throw them down. How awesome is it that Purina Milk Bones got... Vomit. Woods. One other time I was at... It's a milk bone. I had to take one bag of dog food and dump it in the big trash can. And I vomited in our yard when I had to do that. Oh, my gosh. Kid doesn't like weird smells. Why are we feeding the dog stuff that smells that bad? I don't know. It's a great question. They like it? Yeah, because they like the taste. We don't. It should smell like ribeye. Yeah. Got me so good. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com or call Mikey now. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, San Diego. It's Tony for Butoni. You know Butoni, the freshly made Italian pastas and sauces that'll send your salivary glands into overdrive. Well, they want more people to keep the Butoni name on the brain. So I'm asking you to help us cook up a jingle. Ooh, sounds like I got one cooking.
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And this weekend at Vons, it's time to stop and smell the rosé or Cabernet or Chardonnay or whatever your favorite fine wine is. Because right now, you can save 30% on all wines with Vons Club. Plus, save an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Mix and match from our massive selection. With 30% off, now's the time to pick up wines you've always wanted to try and stock up on your favorites. 30% off all wines at Vons and an extra 10% when you buy six or more. Load up on breakfast savings. Stock up on wine. This weekend at Vaughn's. Ingredients for life. See store for details. 10% offer valid for about 750 milliliters or more. Start up your savings in 2012 with the 12 ways to save sale going on now at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You'll spend less and get more at O'Reilly Auto Parts when you take advantage of the 12 great offers on items your vehicle uses every day. And with O'Reilly Auto Parts' everyday low prices, the savings keep adding up. Stop in today and stock up. But hurry, because these 12 deals won't last long. Get a five-quart jug of Peak Conventional Motor Oil and a MicroGuard Oil Filter for $9.99, plus a $5 O'Reilly gift card after mail-in rebate. It's part of the 12 Ways to Save sale going on now at O'Reilly Auto Parts. That's a five-quart jug of Peak Conventional Motor Oil and a MicroGuard Oil Filter for the low in-store price of $9.99, plus a $5 O'Reilly gift card after mail-in rebate. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details.
Good news, California taxpayers. For a limited time, Lumber Liquidators will cover the cost of sales tax on everything during our big tax-free sale. Get laminate flooring for just 49 cents a square foot. Prefinished hardwood and bamboo from $179 a square foot. Beautiful Brazilian cherry, only $2.99 a square foot. And the sales tax is on us at our big tax-free sale now through Monday. Visit LumberLiquidators.com for your local store. Offer valid in California locations only. Monday, it's the start of the work week. Friday, it's the end of the work week. My robotic assistant, Al, and I have tested out the new Scion IQ.
Scion IQ is the world's smallest four-seater. Scion IQ has 11 airbags. Scion IQ is better than Al. Get to your local Scion dealer and check out the new IQ starting at $15,995. Scion, what moves you? Size claim certified by AMCI testing. Call 1-866-240-6684 for claim details. MSRP includes delivery, processing, and handling fee. Excludes taxes, title, license, and optional equipment. Dealer price will vary. The members of Think Blue San Diego region remind you that the storm drain and sewer systems in San Diego County are not connected. Everything that enters storm drains, including trash, flows untreated directly into our local waterways. Do your part to keep San Diego County clean and prevent pollution by properly disposing of trash and by keeping your sidewalk and gutters clear. around your home. For more information and to learn about what your city is doing to prevent stormwater pollution, visit thinkbluesdregion.org. This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. Every day's game day at the all-new Saquon Casino. Watch all the UFC action for free tonight and you can catch the Lakers-Kings game on 30 high-def big screens at Saquon's Game Day, San Diego's best sports bar and grill.
Things are starting to clear up. Still a little bit of slowing, though, as you travel over here on the 805 northbound Claremont Mesa Boulevard, Balboa Avenue. That's between 20 and 17 miles an hour. Looks like the 5 northbound is starting to clear up. A delay, though, from 7th Street to about Harbor Drive. Those speeds about 38 miles an hour. And heading in towards El Cajon, a backup on the 54 southbound from the 8 all the way down to about Fury Lane, 31 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by the Exergen Temporal Thermometer. It's so fast, accurate, and easy, it'll take the hassle out of taking a temperature. Every new parent should have one. Get yours at Rite Aid and other fine retailers today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I need some new Malin and Goetz bergamot body wash or any type of body wash. Woods. I'm Steve Woods. I'm all American man, okay? I eat Kraft American singles. That's right. I drive a Chevy truck. Lauren. I'm going to go get the frozen bottle and break me off a piece of algae every morning and just down the hatch. Nicely. And Jay. If my dog bites me too hard, we're playing. I'll hold him down and I'll go right for his jugular.
On FM 94.9. Are you really gasoline? Are you really burning too? Are you? Are you? Are you? Let's see. I want to let you know that Jack White is going to be the musical guest this weekend on SNL. Nice. Sure, it'll be badass as usual. Yeah, and Lindsay is going to be the host. Lindsay Lohan's the host of SNL. And earlier we heard her say that she's okay making fun of herself. And if there's any forum to make fun of herself, it would be SNL. Woods and LLB say maybe it's a little too early. She's playing with fire. Yes, she is. That's for sure. She may or may not get burned. Because couldn't that come back to bite you? If she lampoons the judge or the prosecutor, DA, or whoever else is involved. Maybe wait till the probation is over. Did you guys know that Limp Bizkit is going to be doing something with Lil Wayne?
Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. Not Little Wayne. Not Little Wayne. Little Wayne. Hear ye, hear ye. Little Wayne. Yeah, they got an album coming out, or a single coming out called Ready to Go. Oh, please. I'm ready for them to go. Yeah, we were ready. Limp Bizkit, I'm ready. I always felt like Limp Bizkit was the 90s version of Poison. You know, they were a here now, gone later. You know, they were only... popular during their era, but weren't a evergreen band that would last forever. Right. Stand up to the test of time. Poison's actually probably a better band. Yeah, I think so. I always thought of them as giant dorks. Yeah, Fred Durst. But that's what I thought of Poison. And most people didn't. Most people thought that, you know, Poison and C.C. DeVille were super cool. I like Bret Michaels. Bret Michaels guy myself. Me too. And a Bobby Dahl guy. I never saw him as super cool, but hey, what are you going to do? To each their own. Anybody got any appearances they're doing this weekend that they want to talk about? LOB, you don't have any gigs this weekend? Semi-professional baseball game. Hilltop high, 9.30 a.m. on Sunday. Hey, if the weather's like it is right now, it won't be so bad. At the end of the show on Friday, I give you my testimony. I tell you my story. And it's part of the reason that I feel so lucky to be able to be on the radios. To tell you where I've been and what's happened in my life. And even where I am now.
Because where I am now could not be done without the importance of where my story got to. When I was a little kid, I used to feel really like an outsider. I felt like I was the only little kid that thought like I did. Even from a real young age, I walked around with a sense of guilt. I walked around with a sense of shame. I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was five years old. And I didn't know it. but it was making me feel guilty. It was making me feel shameful. I didn't have those feelings at the very top of my mind all the time, but I was trying to numb them with alcohol, with pornography, with girls. I tried to numb those feelings with everything you can think of. In fact, it wasn't even until I went to rehab in 2003 that I realized
why I was doing the things that I was doing. But in 2003, I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life. And I tell you my story because some of you may have similar feelings to where I was. And I also say, hey man, go to mikeyshow.com and click on the little button on the top that says help because there's resources there for addiction and depression, eating disorders. I am going through The hardest time of my life currently. And I thought to myself the other day, how do I pick up that microphone and give a testimony? The testimony is that I have the security of knowing that it isn't about here. It's not about this place that I'm in now. Because I have a comfort and a hope inside of me that says, buddy, it's about tomorrow.
And you better be here for it. And I want everyone to know that's listening that there is hope. There is hope. Even in the midst of chaos, in the midst of a broken heart, there's hope. Always in him. I always play a song at the end of the show that I hope gives you some hope. And hopefully this song does. It's from a band called Red. And the song is called Pieces. Listen to the lyrics and maybe you can relate to some of it.