The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/02/10

0:00San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Yeah, let's do this. It's The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Welcome to the program. Love to talk to you. Give us a call right now. Our number is 570-1949. And if you want to, you can also text us, which is really easy to do. You just go to... your phone and open up the text message thing and then type in there 949mikey at gmail.com it's actually really an easy thing to do and we would love to talk to you open phones at the beginning of the show so you can call about anything you want right now 570-1949 anything that's happening in the news that is of interest to you we would love to talk to you so you can do that right now

2:37We got lots of stuff going on that we're going to be talking about. The Chelsea King and the updates with what's going on with Chelsea King. The lineup, this is a big thing, not necessarily to me, but I know to many of you, it's a big deal that Dancing with the Clowns was announced last night. I think it's Dancing with the Stars, they call it. They do call it Dancing with the Stars? Yeah. I'm actually excited to watch this season. You are? It's a good lineup. Based on the lineup, I'm like, I might actually look at that. Please don't. I can't go as far as to say that I will watch that, but I will look at it. You know, meaning that I'll be looking in the background. Watching implies that I give it an hour. Looking at it means that, oh, yeah, five, ten minutes of looking at a couple of the people. OK, I might do that. Leno was back on last night. That was the thing. And he was all nervous. We have audio of him being nervous, which is interesting to listen to. And then we got all kinds of stuff to talk about. So call us right now. 570-1949. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 39 years of age. Woodsy is our sports guy. And you haven't done the contacts for a while now. Are you done with the contacts in the morning? You know, dude, I burned through my last pair this weekend, but my wife just sent me two new boxes. So I kind of save them for like baseball. Yeah? Yeah. Disposable. Well, they hurt in the morning. Putting them in in the morning is awful.

4:01Hailing me right now. And I'd rather just wear the glasses, man. By the way, Mike, today is show number 22, which is the kid's lucky number. Really? 22. Congratulations. Good day today. Congrats, buddy. Thanks, dude. I like it. Now, here's the thing. You guys need to get that LASIK surgery done. You guys do that, and you'll be good to go. That's what I had. I want it so badly. I think I would be a better ball player, even at 34. Yeah? Seeing the ball better. Yeah, it makes your vision so much better. Is that funny? It kills your girls. Every time you do it, it kills your girls. Leave it on the contact lenses. No, I'm a great baseball player, but I could be better. All right. Write that down. Yeah. I play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising. Thank you. You're welcome. Lauren is our assistant producer. And she has the hair pulled back very tight today. She has the hair pulled back very, very tight. Sometimes it's not. But today it's pulled back in a way that if she were to cross her arms and put me in detention, wouldn't surprise me one bit. It was a rough morning. Yeah. Me and the alarm clock exchanged some words. Yeah. Well, sometimes when that thing goes off in the morning.

5:19When the clock strikes whatever, there it is, striking. It's hard to get up. 570-1949. What's going on? Nothing. Two of you. I'm sorry. What? Nothing. I just, I wanted to say that. Hey, are you having an okay time with, Lauren, are you having an okay time with Woodsy's Crack Den? Yeah, I'm surprised. He's got it under wraps. He's cleaned it up. It's organized. He doesn't have as much room now since we switched spots. Now, if you look at MikeyShow.com, you can go to the webcam and see Woodsy sitting right across from me now. And he does. We call it his crack den. The area directly around him, you know, he just has stuff. He has a lot of stuff. He scaled it down, though. It's all organized. He did. Sienna is our news girl. She is 24 years old and I believe resembles a hot Lindsay Lohan. Thank you. Yeah, she kind of does. And everybody sees her. I showed somebody a picture of you this weekend, the picture that we all took together at your wedding. That's creepy. And they go, she does look like Lindsay Lohan. I like to say the old Lindsay. The old Lindsay. When she was cute and then like the mean girl days. Yeah, when she was still, you know, innocent, you know.

6:44Jay is our producer and is separated by glass. Howdy ho, neighbor. There he is. There he is. Save that. Save that. Yeah, mark that. Howdy ho, neighbor. That's right. Okay, so let's get into it because we've got so much news that it's going to take a while. First of all, the deal with Chelsea King, the missing teenager from Poway. What's the latest? What do we know? Well, the latest is that they are searching all over the Lake Hodges area. Now, they're on a four-square-mile area near Lake Hodges, which is where all of this happened. And so they've narrowed down the search. They think they're going to find some more evidence over there. However, yesterday we had an M1 call in, and she said that she works with a woman whose daughter disappeared in December in the same area. Not disappeared. Not disappeared. I'm sorry. Chelsea disappeared. This woman was attacked by a man in jeans around the age of 30, and she escaped. This young girl. Punched him in the nose. Yeah, punched him in the nose. She escaped, and she called the police afterwards, reported the man, drew a sketch, and this girl, her name is Candace, has now identified John Gardner, the man who is the suspect in the Chelsea King case. That's...

8:01him yeah are you following there's kind of a lot of little steps yeah yeah yeah but yeah this happened with candace um december 27th so she said yes that is him that is the man so we have a very strong clue right here that this is it yeah um but the crazy thing is is why didn't we hear about this december 27th when this happened if this man was sketched and this incident happened because every day there's people walking around that rancho bernardo community park and No one, there was no signs. No one knew anything of it. Right. And maybe it could have prevented the Chelsea King thing from happening if police had notified others. A hundred percent, right? Like, you know, how often does this make anybody think? How often does something like this happen at a park in our community? And we don't know. Right. You know, they call the cops. Some girl might call the cops and say, you take a random park in any part of the county, North County, something happens. And something happens there and she calls the cops. They come out, take a report, blah, blah, blah. There's not going to be any signs that go up that say that it happened and it might not make the news. And that is weird and not good. Right. Because that guy's still walking the street. And then, you know, again, we're not for sure if it was him. But where there's smoke, there's fire. And now Chelsea King's disappeared. And how upset would you be as a husband or a father or a mother or whatever when you find out that that had happened and nobody did anything to report it or to do anything about that would just be so.

9:26Upsetting. Furious. Yeah. Hot mad, dude. Yeah. Hot mad. So 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com. You know, I got to hand it to the San Diego Police Department because and maybe it's the Poway Police Department. I hope I'm not not giving credit to the organization that deserves it. But I think that it's pretty incredible. that an arrest was made as quickly as it was. Absolutely. I don't know what they did in order to figure it out that fast, but it was fast. Well, this guy must have made some mistakes, obviously. I mean, if he's in custody now, he made some mistakes. Well, we knew yesterday he was a registered sex offender, and some more information came out. Mike, you said you're reading about it, that in 2000, he molested a 13-year-old neighbor girl in his... Townhouse. Ten years ago. Yeah, he spent five years in prison and completed his parole in 2008. So he's been on the loose again as a registered sex offender. My goodness. What do you do? What do you do? Did he serve his time? They actually, it said something about how because he didn't have any priors, they didn't push for the maximum sentence. Right. So one time he messes up, so to speak. I just did air quotes. Yeah. He messes up. He serves his time. He does his parole and he's on the street again.

10:47I mean, aren't there, you know, if we were making laws right now, let's say we were able to pass laws in this room right now. Does anybody have a problem with the first time you do something that's really, you know, dastardly, dastardly out forever? Yeah. I mean, you're I don't know if you're. I don't think you should be out forever. If you molest a little kid? If there's obvious proof, he should have been in there for more than five years. And from what I read, there's obvious proof that he did that to a 13-year-old girl. You know, we were talking about this around the dinner table last night. And you know what one thing that really struck us? And that is that in prison, there really is no rehabilitation. No. You know what there is? There's a lot of weightlifting. That's what goes on at prison. Well, there's also a lot of learning how to be a criminal. Yeah. It's criminal school. Yeah, it's criminal school. And, you know, I wish that there was millions and millions of dollars spent on when you get these guys in jail that you actually do something to try to reprogram. You know, because it's sad to me. It is sad. I mean, don't they have, like, classes or mandatory counseling or anything like that? I mean, I don't know. I think they're just overcrowded right now and not able to do all that they should be doing.

12:05Lauren's right. They have a lot of people in jail right now. They don't have enough room, and they're letting people out because they don't have enough room. And what they should be doing, and what am I talking about? I'm talking about this like I know. I've never been to prison. I don't really know what happens in prison, but... What? Get. You've done jail, but you haven't done prison, right? No, I've never been to prison. Not yet. Knock on wood, my friend. Knock on wood. 570. 570-1949. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you are a Mikey Show listener, you belong to the M1 Nation. There's websites for it. There's M1Site.com. If you've never seen M1Site.com, check it out. Check out our website, FM949SD.com or MikeyShow.com. They're all good, they all work, and you'll enjoy them all. M1JP is on the line. What's up, M1JP? Mikey, what's up, buddy? Not too much. Hey, yeah, that story where the girl got attacked on the 27th, that was in the paper and it was also on CBS News. I remember because it was my birthday. Really? Why didn't they have any signs up or anything like that? Because that's the main complaints I'm reading are people that continued to walk alone in that area. That is brilliant. Yeah. Like, I understand maybe it's on the news. I understand that. But the idea of putting up a sign.

13:28is really, it seems intelligent, smart, prudent, all those words. Especially with a sketch because it would deter him. Yeah, 100%. I don't get it. 570-1949 is the number. M1 Pennywise, what's going on? Hey, what's going on, man? Not too much. Hey, check it out, man. I just wanted to say, where are the boondocks at? You know what I mean? What do you mean? Oh, I've never seen Boondock Saints. Oh, they're like vigilantes. Vigilante boys. Vigilantes. Vigilantes that, you know, do bad things to bad people. Yeah. Best movie out there. Dexter. Don't be surprised if that triggers something in somebody in San Diego area. My old lady carries a 40 with her, loaded with Ron and Chamberlain when she walks the baby. When you first said that, I thought, you know, like of old Milwaukee. Yeah. When you first said a 40, I was like, hmm, I don't know. Yes, and W. I got you. She carries that thing for her running chamber when she walks the baby. Smith and Wesson. I'd rather go through court and all that stuff and be safe than, you know, and one of these guys off the street, they're messing with my old lady. Hey, listen, I got no problem with protecting yourself, buddy. I got no problem with that. And, you know, what do you say? And I really want to ask, you know, Lauren's a runner. Lauren goes running. And what would you say?

14:56Lauren, if your boyfriend said to you, it really, really, really upsets me and makes me uncomfortable when you go running by yourself, what would your reaction to that be? Typically, it would be get off my back. I can handle myself. I've got pepper spray that I forget to bring. Right. But, yeah, I mean, I've been a little bit. I mean, I've gone running several times since this incident, including we went hiking in Carlsbad. Yeah. And I couldn't help but think, I don't know if I want to do that anymore. I mean, I've always been conscious of that. When I was training for a half marathon, I got lost along the San Diego riverbed. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and there was a guy I assumed who was homeless was washing up in the river and gave me one of these creepy slow waves as I was by myself about eight miles in. Right. And it occurred to me.

15:54there's a long way in either direction I'd have to run. Sure. So it is. I mean, it is something you have to think about. You don't want to believe it. I think it's time for a website that teams up female runners. There are plenty of them. What do we got? I'm just somebody who, and I know it was put in one of those articles about Chelsea King, I prefer to run alone. And so I've always kind of shunned those meetup things. They're all over the place. If you're going to do a sport, there's like team and training, stuff like that. If you go on meetup.com, they have things for runners to get together. That's a good idea. Yeah, it might be. Sienna, would you run by yourself still? If you were a runner. I don't run. I know, but if you did, would you be running by yourself right now? Yeah, I wouldn't want other people to watch me run. Yeah. You know.

16:54I think that's, I don't know. I don't know. It's just, it's scary. I walk. I go on long walks. I go by myself, which is just as bad. Because if I had to run, I'd be a lot slower than most. It's just as scary, though, to have a woman out by herself running or walking. You should definitely keep pepper spray. Shoot, I'm scared out by myself. I go ride my bike out on these canyons, and I'm way out there. I even have friends with me. But a lot of times we'll ride by, and there'll be a woman out in the middle of nowhere by herself. It's dark. I mean, the sun's down. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Because that's the only time they can. A lot of people have crazy schedules. Maybe their husband just got home, can watch the baby, and that's their time to go. Maybe they're on a tight budget. They can't pay for a gym membership, stuff like that. You know what? It'd be great if we lived in a really safe Amish country in the middle of Pennsylvania. But we don't. We don't. Lauren? I mean, I've gone to, we joked about this earlier. I've been on a lot of those trips. I've gone to Hawaii, Australia, Thailand by myself. Yeah. And I've gone on those hikes and everything, and it's occurred to me, and I had the pepper spray with me, but there's only so much you can live in fear until it just becomes debilitating. It's, you know, where do you draw the line of what's safe and what's not? I think that's a great point. But here's where I think that that argument ends is when you go, okay, I understand. Just team up with someone. And then people go, well, I don't want to. I want to run by myself. Like you said, I want to run by myself. Right.

18:22Well, I don't want you to get hurt. And we live in this weird day and age. It just stinks. Hey, listen. I think everybody wants her to be able to run by herself. She enjoys it. It just so happens that we don't live in a place where we can really do that. It's a world full of creeps. It's a world full of creeps, unfortunately. It scares me to death to have children. It just scares me to death. Yeah. Let's see. M1. Let's see. M1 Pam, are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. Oh, I just had a comment about what you were saying as far as the prisons and rehab. I believe studies have been done on sex offenders and true sex offenders. No matter how much counseling and classes they go through, they cannot be rehabilitated. It's a defect inside of them. And so that's why you have the ones that have living on the trailers at the prisons and stuff like that, because they have to be monitored. But somebody like him where he said he didn't have any priors, it was his first offense, there's term limits, they can only do so much time that the judge gives them, they get out, they're very compliant, they do their probation, parole, whatever, and then they're on the loose except for when they're registered on Megan's Law. But if he wasn't even living at the place where he was registered, the only way you'd be able to tell is, I think, because everybody's so worried about their rights and everything, but if they made them where the...

19:51Like electronic surveillance or something where they could be tracked all the time because they're in places where they shouldn't be. Yeah. I'm on board with that. Yeah. 100%. I think the sketch should have been posted. That's a great call. You know. Absolutely. Yeah. It should. Absolutely it should have. Absolutely. And did you hear what she said? She said it was his first offense. Just because it was his first offense, it just means that's the first time he ever got caught. Right. You know what I mean? That's a great point. I mean. We don't know that it was his first offense. Right. First time he got caught. Let's see. Hang on just a second. Hang on just a second. Because we've got other stuff. We've got so much other stuff that we've still got to get to. I do want to tell you about the Dancing with the Clowns. Stars, Mike. Come on. Dancing with the Stars. Clowns. Let's see. Last night was a big deal. They announced who the next contestants are going to be. with Dancing with the Stars. And they are as follows. And we're about to reveal the new cast of Dancing with the Stars. For once, Tom, you are not exaggerating. Here are your 11 new stars. Sexiest woman, Pamela Anderson. Football's most outrageous, Chad Ochocinco. The soap stud, Aiden Turner. Who's the soap stud? I thought they said stars. He's from All My Children. Let me tell you something.

21:25The first time they did this thing, man, I didn't know who one person was. Oh, so this is actually an improvement. ESPN's broadcasting beauty, Erin Andrews. Do you know who that is? Erin Andrews? All the way in on her. I'm surprised by it. Do you know who she is, though? Yeah, because she's the one that had the big assault and the video cameras in her hotel room and stuff. That was surprising to me as well. I can't believe she signed up for this after that. Me too. This was the woman, if you don't know, Erin Andrews had a real creep, speaking of creeps, when he would follow her around to the hotels that she would stay in. I can't believe that. He'd put a camera up to her peephole and he would videotape her naked and put it on the internet. Ugh. Yeah. And he was caught. How does a reverse peephole even work? I don't know. Who knows? I don't know. Woods, sure. Or did he like drill it out? I don't know, man. No, I don't think he did that. It was just the peephole in the door, the front of her place, you know? Yeah, creep. The Beverly Hills bad girl, Shannon Doherty. The original moonwalker, Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin. He's 100. He's 80. You're close. They have to have someone older. It's part of the criteria. He's 80 years old. So what? They had, what's his face? He's not being anxious. He probably goes to bed later than you do, though. That is 100% true.

22:49Watch him be, but people love like the older people. You can still do it up at 80? You can still. Yeah, and even if he doesn't, he'll make his own little slower dance and people will love it. They will. Yeah. All right. This is some guy from Reno 911. I'm really upset. by this one that they just announced. Pussycat Dolls, Nicole Scherzinger. She is like a professional dancer. What's up with that? She's an amazing dancer. She's like Britney Spears. Britney Spears in this competition. I know why. It's what you said. It's because people fall in love with personalities and they know it. They're like, because people will go, oh Buzz, you're so cute. See, she won't make it far. I'm going to call that right now. I bet you're right. Nicole Scherzinger, the Olympic golden boy, Evan Lysacek, and reality's most watched super mom, Kate Gosling. Wow. All right, then they saved one person that was a special, like, announcement. And I'll tell you about that person the next break. Abe Vigoda. That is not Abe Vigoda. Okay. It's not me either. My wife has fattened me up too much to be.

24:02on the next Dancing with the Stars. Do you do that? Do any of you girls do? Lauren and... Oh. You don't, Lauren? What? No. Encourage your man to eat? No. Oh, I do. Come on. You do, Sienna? Of course I do. What do you mean? Well, like, he'll eat the things that are more fattening than I because I want him to have a little meat on his bones. You do? You know what I mean? Yes. So that other women don't look at him or because... Not because other... I don't know. Like, I think... I don't know. When I met him, he for sure had a six-pack. Yeah. You know, and now he doesn't, thanks to me, I think. And you like it more that he doesn't? I like it more that he doesn't, yeah. And I was talking to a couple of my friends, actually, about this during my wedding, over the wedding weekend. And they're 100% on board with it. All of them. Looks like Lauren may not be in agreement with that. No. But Lauren's, like, fitness. Yeah. And I'm, like, pfft. If I cook. for him, it makes me feel really good if he eats a lot of it because I'm like, oh, it must be really good. And I do want him to eat more than me because it makes me feel more ladylike because I have a big appetite. Yeah. But I don't want him to be fat. I don't want him to be fat either. I just don't want him to be like ripped like he was. I like him to have a little, I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. You prefer that beer belly over a six pack? If there's a beer, a little beer belly, I think it's cute and I like it. Cuter. Yeah.

25:24Than a six pack? Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. What do you think of that guy? I love your beer belly woods. I like it. I think Lauren may have a different feeling about that all together. You'd be surprised. I think a lot of girls. It was like, yeah, not so much. Let's get some calls and see what the women think on this. 100%. Please back me up. And dudes, if your lady's like... try to fatten you up. My wife 100% tries to fatten me up. Uh-huh. She does? Yeah. Look at me, dude. Mike, look at me. That's because... You knew me 10 years ago, right? Yeah. I've been with Jamie about nine years. See, I was mostly kidding. This isn't Rebecca's fault. This is because I shovel food in me. 570-1949. I want to know what people think about that. So we'll do that when we come back. Who's the early favorite to sign T.O.? Woodsy will tell you that in what's on sports. This is the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. The clock is ticking down on the Cox seven-day sale. Don't miss out on our lowest prices of the year. Get both Cox digital cable and Cox high-speed internet for less than $29 a month for three months. That's a savings of 50%. Enjoy free HD programming with Cox digital cable and faster internet speeds with Cox high-speed internet.

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31:20go to wawinacus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Find my list, there it is. My list of songs, that's Twilight Singers. Yeah, baby. Let's see. Well, first of all, that story you were just telling, Lauren, was pretty good. Yeah. Like uber creepy. Good in like a, that was really creepy way. Yeah, I mean, good as in, you know, good radio. Yeah. Do you want to say where you were? We were, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it right, Calaveras Lake in Carlsbad? Calaveras. Calaveras? Yep. Okay. So almost Oceanside? Yeah. We'd never been there before. We liked to go to different parts of the county and go on hikes on the weekends. Yeah. And we went like up and over a cliff and everything, and then we were just kind of winging it and just taking different paths. And right by the lake's edge, it was kind of marshy and muddy. It was a little like boardwalk crossing.

32:56Matt and I get through the marsh and we're, like, pushing sticks out of the way. And we're like, is this, where, are we headed the right way? And then all of a sudden you see this, like, guy with camos on, like, crouched in the bushes. And he's like, go ahead, go ahead. And, like, waves us forward. And he scared the Jesus out of me, especially after what was going on, you know. And then he, I was like, just go, just go, just go to Matt. And then he's like, hey, where are you guys coming from? Did you see a gun? I don't know. I couldn't look long enough. I saw camos. And as soon as we crossed, because it was all muddy, as soon as we crossed the little border, the little boardwalk thing, I was like, just go, just go, just go. And we started like, you couldn't really run where we were. You're like, dude, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Hunting duck. Hunting duck? I hope. Yeah, I like to hunt them just barehanded. Hunting humans, I think. Yeah, you can't actually, you probably can't hunt. ducks where there's people running on trails. I don't know what he was doing. In camos. Crouched down. You know what he wanted to do. He wanted to wear your skin as a hat. Weird. Yeah. I mean, we kind of like joked about it, but I was seriously kind of like, I'm really glad you were there and that we are still breathing. Alive. So, do... And this is a question to dudes listening and women listening. If you're a dude, do you think that your chick tries to get you fat?

34:17Not bad. A little chunky. A little meat on the bones. A little chunks here and there. A little meat on the bones. A little junk in the trunk. A little extra jiggle. Yeah, a little extra jiggle in your wiggle. Woodsy says his wife does. Yeah, she feeds me like crazy. She, and the thing that's fascinating about it to me is that Sienna makes a point that it's sort of like you do it and know it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they know. They know. They know what they're up to. Do you see how, remember how skinny I was back in the day? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a fat turd now. No, part of it is also because you've gotten older. Yeah. Metabolism slows down. Yeah. I see what you eat when Jamie's not around. What? Fruit. Delicious fruits. Pop tarts and Gatorade. And vegetables. Lauren just gave you a look like woods. You know. Yeah. I have yogurt every morning. Yeah. With fruit. The one day I have a pop tart. One day. Jamie forcing those pop tarts down the gullet. Those pop tarts are good. She said them to me. Lauren says she doesn't do it. She sent them deals. I like Jamie. M1, Laura. Laura, are you there? Yes, sir. So, what's the deal? Do you fatten your dude? No, I don't fatten my dude, but I don't like a six-pack. It's not attractive to me. Really? Like a little girl? Six-pack's not attractive to you? No, I can appreciate their hard work. I know that it takes a lot of effort and a lot of discipline, but I don't find it personally attractive.

35:46It's like a turn off to me. Really? Yeah. I've always wanted one, dude. Listen, I'm not gay and I find it attractive. I mean, have you ever seen the movie 300? You don't think that looks good on those dudes with the ripped abs? See, to me, I'm not like, I don't have a problem. I'm in good shape, but I don't go to the gym all the time. Like, I'm just not one of those people. So when I see guys that are like really ripped and like take a lot of pride, I'm just like, eh, not my thing. Not my cup of tea. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that my wife would have a problem with me having a six-pack. Mine either. Group of abs. I mean, you know what I mean? I'm running after the truck. Dribbling. Yeah, jiggling my suspenders. Dribbling. Oh, dribbling. Jiggling works too. Jiggling works better. That's the sound that my belly makes when I'm running after the truck. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com. All I want you to do is admit it. Admit it, ladies. Get it out there. M1 Pete says, yeah, my wife does it. Right, Pete? Hello. What does she give you? Man, she feeds me everything. She's Hispanic.

37:16So we have a lot of carne asada, like at least three times a week. Yes. But yeah, we met back in high school. I was about 250. We met back up at our reunion. I was 185. And she told me I look sick. Now I'm back up to like 240. Really? She likes a man with meat on her bones. That's right. Nothing wrong with that. I guess so. I mean, that's why she said, well, you used to look sick. I thought I looked good. Yeah. Yeah, you did. Girls want us to get chunky. What's up with that? Yeah, I'll tell you what's up with it. They don't want other chicks thinking you're hot. Yep. They want you all to themselves. See, I don't necessarily agree with that. I want other girls to think that my husband, so weird to say, is cute and hot. That's what I figured, that you would want to have a nice guy on your arm, but... We just want to look better than you. Is that it? That's basically it. That's what it is. That's what I think, at least. M1 Crystal. Yes. Go ahead. Hi, my name is M1 Crystal. I'm actually very happy I'm 94.9, but on this topic, I much prefer a bare belly. I appreciate the six-pack, but really, if I'm hanging out on the couch, I'd much prefer a little pillow of the little bare belly than the cardboard rock hard abs. We like bear hugs, you know? Yeah, and it feels like you feel safe.

38:32I don't think I believe this. Well, Mike, they do. And I'll tell you why they do. Because I have a couple of really good friends at home that are really, really into their bodies. And I mean to a point of exhaustion. It's always with the tuna and the chicken breast and the gym two times a day. And you know what? Women are like, dude, they're like, just chill out a little bit. Like, you know, you don't have to be perfect. And it's very self-centered. Woodsy, would you, if it were your choice? Yeah. Would you like to have six-pack abs? Yes, 100%. Dude, I can help you with it. No, dude, I'm good. He wants to help. No, I'm good. I'm telling you, I'm a personal trainer, man. That's all I'm saying. Why don't you let me come over? You know, what are you doing Saturday night? I'll be out of town. Really? All right. What about Friday night? I'll be out of town. I'll be in St. Louis. That's all right. What about? What about tonight? What about tonight? Here's what we'll do, man. I will go down to Vaughn's, buy us a great bottle of wine, and then I come over there tonight and I'll teach you how to do crunches. You probably don't even know how to do crunches. Why do we need wine to do crunches? Fine, I won't get wine, man. I'll get us some tequila shots. Just go with it. No, no, no. I'm cool, dude. I got plans tonight. I'll get us some Jell-O shots, man. Thanks, dude. And I'll come over and I'll teach you how to do some crunches. I got it, dude. I'm good.

39:57All right. He said you wanted a six-pack. He's trying to help. You said you wanted a six-pack. I'm trying to help you, dude. And then we'll go look at girls on the internet. That's really creepy, dude. We'll look at girls, man. That's really creepy. You know what I mean? Like we'll look at hot chicks. See? Exactly. I'm really uncomfortable. We'll have a couple glasses of Malo. What's Malo? Malo, dude. What's Malo? We'll have some Malo. Fine. All right? And then we'll go on the line and then we'll look on, you know, like girls.com. Girls.com? Yeah, dude. I'm out. No thanks. He'll get you the six pack. I'm busy. You don't know what you're missing. I'm super busy. M1 Stephanie hates skinny guys. Yes! Really? I don't like skinny guys. Yeah. Let's see what she means. But what do you mean, Stephanie? What do I mean? Yeah, what do you mean? Like, I'm kind of a sturdy girl myself. I'm not fat, but I just, I like it when I'm with my husband. Like, if he feels, like, bigger than me, it's kind of a protective thing. And I just think that's sexy more than anything. Like, my husband, he's, like, 5'10", 185, and he thinks he's fat, but he's not at all. And he wants to talk about getting thinner and, like, ripped and stuff. And it's like, why would you do that? See, I'm not like that. I don't.

41:20I don't think I'm fat. I know I am. Stop it. Now, here's the deal. My wife, I don't think that my wife would have any problem with me firming up. Did you hear the new word that you can use for yourself? What? Sturdy. That's right. You're not fat. You're sturdy. I'm sturdy. I love it. We like a sturdy man. I'm a mountain girl, so, you know, I like my dudes, like, bigger than me. Yeah, for sure. I love it. Well said. Thank you. Thank you for the call. Guess what we're doing. Let's do this. Let's get it rolling. Let's get this kid. There he is. Look at him. He's jumping. He's jumping up and down. Yeah. What's on sports? What's on sports? What's on sports? What's on sports? I feel like a clown every time I hear you. I love that. It's awesome, dude. So what's happening? Not a lot, actually. Well, I want to know about the T.O. thing. Yeah, I'll lead off with that, my brother. Early favorites for T.O. We talked a little bit yesterday about Cincinnati being a favorite. I just don't see that happening. I think the team that probably is going to get T.O. will probably be the Baltimore Ravens. They've needed a sturdy wide receiver for many, many, many years. Joe Flacco's had really nobody to throw to. Really? 80-year-old Mark Clayton's not working out for the...

42:50Baltimore Ravens? Well, Ravens are one of the most hated teams in the NFL, so go ahead, T.O. Yeah, that's right, man. And you know what? Maybe Ray Lewis helps keep that clown in line. Yeah? By what? Shanking him? Okay. Next, we had gold medal winner Lindsey Vonn, one of my personal favorites, was on Leno last night. Yeah. Here she is talking about winning the Gold Cup one. Having that much, much pressure and expectation and standing in the starting gate. And I was so nervous. But I just, I tried to stay focused. And I am so thankful that it worked out. I mean, you only have one shot to get these medals. By the way, just real quick before you go on to the next one. I just want to let people know. I do know that I have not given the last clown with Dancing with the Clowns. Stars. Stars. And so I will give that star. right after Woods on Sports. Sorry, Woodsy. No problem, dude. As you know, Lindsey Vonn, who's really hot, had a really kind of a busted shin during the Olympics, and she's talking about her injury and why she was so emotional after she won the gold cut, too. That was, I think, the most surprising part for me was just being in the finish.

44:06I couldn't answer any questions, you know. Everyone was like, how do you feel? And I just started sobbing, you know. It was just water worked for hours. And I had no control over it whatsoever. Yeah, because I think I read something your mom said. You know, she doesn't usually cry. This is a little what you thought. Yeah, I'm not a crier. And it just, it hit me, you know, how much work and effort I'd put in my entire life and how much I'd given up and my family would give up. And to be there and to finally succeed like that with my friends and family there was, it was more than I can take in. Lindsay, imagine seeing the flower girl rock down the aisle. Imagine what would happen to you. Imagine what would happen to you then, huh, Lauren? I'll tell you what. Well, Michael Jordan's back in the NBA spotlight. He is actually buying the Charlotte Bobcats. He's been a minority owner there for several years, but now he'll be the majority owner. And I have to kind of question why. David Stern came out and said the NBA is losing about $400 million this year. Are you serious? Probably not a good time to buy a franchise. Oh, my gosh. And then the last story, Mike, is a cool story. Do you remember Daryl Green playing for the Redskins? Dude was fast as lightning. Oh, yeah. Check this out. Cut for Daryl actually on his 50th birthday decided, I'm going to go out and run the 40 and see what I run the 40 in again.

45:17Guy ran it in 4.43 seconds at 50. Now, got to give you context on this. If Woodsy and I. Let's do a 40. Oh, if I, I would guess that I could not do a under six second 40. There's no way in the world. I probably couldn't either. No way in the world. I could do a 40 yard dash in under six seconds. Sounds like a challenge. Or six hours. We should videotape this challenge. Mikey against Woods in the 40. Mikey hates this challenge. Mikey, Woods, and Jay run in the 40. Oh, this is gold. Jay would be doing, like, backflips. Would Jay be the fastest? For sure, right? Oh, my gosh. Woods, doesn't that humiliate you to think of? Jay sucks every day, yeah. All right, all right, all right. But running, oh, yeah. Play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising. I'm blushing. I'm blushing thinking about it, like how awful it would be. For me. I mean, it would just be, but I'll do it. I'll do it just for the spectacle. Here's Darryl Green on his accomplishment. I didn't run the 40-yard dash on my 50th birthday to prove that I can go play football. I did it because I was free to do it. I live in America and I can do what I want to do. And I woke up that morning and wanted to do something fun and special, not necessarily for the fans.

46:32But for me, it was just something I wanted to do, and I did it, and it was pretty fascinating. Yeah, it is. That dude's audio gold. That's fantastic. He's dynamite. I love it. That's Woods on sports, my brother. So Tom Bergeron is the host of Dancing with the Stars, and here he is announcing the surprise 11th guest on the next season of the show. Actually, you've been watching number 11 all night long. The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka. Hey, how are you? Hey, good to see you. I'm the same way. No kidding. Who cares? That's the guy they say? Yeah. Drum roll. Some guy you don't care about. Right? The finale was last night. He's getting married. Girls think he's cute. Yeah. Get. I heard they were already broken up. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Listen. I heard a clip of this dude. It was last night. Of him asking this.

47:34Do we want to warn people if we're going to talk about it? Yeah, yeah. Because some people have recorded it. It's a big deal. All right, I got to let you know. Spoiler. No dude listening right now has. No. What are you talking about, dude? That's like the greatest show on television. You like it? The Bachelor? Dude, what? It's good, man. It's like all American love, you know? So what did you think of who Jake picked? I thought... I thought... You're getting choked up. Don't get choked up. Sorry, man. I said it. I know it's emotional. I know. So why is it such a big deal? Do you need some water? Do you need some Merlot? Do you need some Merlot? Does anybody have any Merlot, man? Yeah, we could try to get some out of the kitchen. Merlot? Anyone have Merlot? When he picked Vienna, man. Oh, I'm sorry. That's a spoiler. Yeah. Here's Jake last night. I'm going to go to the bathroom. You won't miss much. I know. Listen, I don't even watch it. I don't care. I don't care. The only reason I'm doing this, the only reason I'm going to even tell you is because it's kind of... It was kind of touching. I heard it. I thought it was kind of... I haven't heard it. I'm excited. Can I play it for you? Of course. I think it's kind of... I've seen this show because my wife watches it. Sure. Okay.

49:00Shut up. Seriously, it's because Rebecca watched it. I used to watch it. I don't watch it anymore. But when she used to watch it, all of these dudes at the end of the show, The Bachelor, they was always insincere. My reason for watching, I was like, oh, look, it's 25 beautiful women. Yeah, right. I liked the love part of it. Gosh. I know it. I do, too. But this dude, when he asked his chick to marry him, I thought he sounded kind of sincere about it. This is going to give everybody the dork chills. I guarantee you I'll play this and you're going to get the dork chills from me. I already have them. Well, the reason that you have them is because you're like, whatever I'm about to hear, Mikey's in on. And that's going to creep everyone out. That a grown man found this touching. I'm already weirded out by myself. I've already missed a few words from laughter. Woods has his hand up to his mouth like, are you serious? Turn mics off. Turn the mics off. I want to hear. I'll turn my mic off. Here we go. I don't want you to ever forget this. Did he say Sienna? Oh, I thought he did. I feel like such a creep. You should. I love you. Oh, my God, Mike. Come on, wait, wait. When they do the music, it gets me. Okay. You're ruining it once. The music will get me. Come on. I don't have to strip anymore. Is she? No. Pretty sure.

51:00Quit talking over it. He's good, I know. Will you marry me? Wait, I just got the chills. This is exactly how Todd proposed. Hold on, hold on, hold on. It's hard for me to listen to again, man. Can I ask you a question? Go ahead. Is that the goal of every bachelor is to get engaged? Yeah. That's okay. He doesn't want to be a bachelor anymore. A bachelor? Okay. Well, I was just confused. I thought it was just kind of to date and see how things go. And I wish it was like that. But the other Bachelor, do you remember there was like controversy the season before? He picked Melissa Rycroft and then he dumped her and then there was another girl. They just got married. That's right. I remember it. Of course you do. Don't even get me started, man. They're married now, so it does work out sometimes. It's okay. I know. It's emotional. Where's the best hamburger in San Diego?

52:03Jay, I love ho-dads. When are you going to take the kid, dude? Let's go. Let's go right now. So good. They deliver. 570-1949. I don't know if they do. I hope they do. But I want people... I genuinely want to know where the best hamburger in San Diego is. In-N-Out, man. Of course, In-N-Out. Nothing beats In-N-Out, man. Yes. 570-1949. Let me know. We're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. AT&T gives you the freedom to build your own bundle from four choices, including wireless phone service. Because Americans love choices. You could call us choice-a-holics. That's why our Mexican restaurants offer dozens of lunch combos. Mmm, guacamole. Movie theaters have hundreds of movies playing simultaneously. And you ladies all want 87 pairs of open-toed strappy sandals with a half-spiked wedged heel kind of thingy. Having choices means you get to decide what's right for you. That's why, unlike cable, AT&T lets you customize your bundle from these four choices. Wireless phone service, high-speed internet, home phone service, and advanced TV.

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55:5315 southbound coming through Escondido between the 78 Center City Parkway. Stop and go traffic this morning into the lower 20s right now. Bonita's got to back up to the 805 northbound between Bonita Road and Imperial Avenue. Some slowing in the lower 40s. This report brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealer's committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours, added associates to take care of your service needs, answer questions, and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Peace, dog. You can call us, 570-1949. What's the best burger in San Diego? Phones are lighting up, dude. And when you call, I don't want it to be an opinion. I want it to be a fact. Fact. I hear Rocky's is in PB. Really? Dude. Great. Yeah, check the phones.

57:35They'll tell you. Let's talk to them. M1 Tracy. Yes. What do you think? I think the yard house downtown. What is it? What is it about it? They have this, like, potato bread bun. And it's so soft. And then it's just very fresh. It's absolutely delicious. Are you talking the potato bread bun that has like almost that light dusting of white sort of like flour? Golden. Yeah. It's really good. I got an idea. What? From now on, when we do food stuff, maybe we do it at nine so that we can go eat after because now I'm starving for a burger. It's a good idea. And it's 7 a.m. I'll tell you what makes a great burger to me. The ground beef has to be very soft. Yep. Because if you bite, like there's some, like when she. A lot of places you go to, especially places that are like micro-brew places, that kind of deal, a lot of times when you go to those kind of places and they make you a burger, the burger is sort of like firm. The meat itself is firm. Don't like that. I want a nice, soft. How do you like your burgers? Medium. No way. See, I like my medium well, but I like my steaks medium rare. Really? Because I like my burger to have, I like it to be cooked all the way through. Pink. I want pink.

58:58I go medium. Lauren goes potato. Yeah. It's veggie. Yeah. Celery burger. Yeah, less celery burger, right? What's that? Oh, I was saying that when you eat a hamburger, it's usually made out of a radish. That's what I was saying. No, I didn't cook my burgers in bacon fat. Sorry. Missed the boat on that one. Oh, my gosh. That would be so delicious. It would be amazing. I'm going to try that. M1 OB. Hey, guys. How's it going? Good, man. Where's the best burger? I got to go with the Rockies, man. You know, it's just this big, thick, juicy, soft, like you're talking about, cheeseburger. Nothing that special about the ingredients, but just the burger is amazing. I think they got so much grease on that grill from over the years. It just makes the meat something special. I'm starting to hear this Rockies a lot, and I haven't been to Rockies. What kind of fries are we talking? The fries, just regular fries, man. You're not going to get, like, garlic fries to be special. It's a real kind of hole-in-the-wall place.

59:56I know, but are the fries like potato wedge? Are they like skinny McDonald-type fries? Are they thick? Thicker. It's somewhere in the middle between thick and skinny. It's just a good, crisp fry. Got it. They don't have truffle fries there, pal, so you're going to have to suck it up. Well, I like a very, see, I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Write that down. Like McDonald's. They have those really skinny, salty. I love their fries. Absolutely. I love them. M1 Law Dog. Morning, Mikey. How you doing? Good, dude. I think the best burger in San Diego County, hands down, is Nessie's. Where are we talking? It's on State Route 76 and the 15, just before you get into Fulbrook. Just this little hole in the wall. What exit? By a mobile gas station. I used to go there all the time when I worked on an ambulance. You know what exit? What exit? 76 doesn't have exits. State Route 76. It would be like Parlor Road, Mission Road into Oceanside, Mackside into Oceanside. Okay. So it's actually on Route 76. You just get on 76 from the 15, you'll find it. Yeah. It's windy. Got it. Got it. Maybe we Google it. Yeah.

1:01:18Yeah, yeah, dude. It's a really, really small little, just little hole-in-the-wall place. It's always got a big line around it. Those are the best places. Always. They're always the best places. M1, Sean. Hey, what's going on, guys? Not too much. Yeah, so I never called in before, and actually I've always been nervous, but this burger place, I got to, like, scream it out. So I hear you guys been to the custom, was it the counter? The counter, yes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. We went there. Oh, yeah. Good. I just went there on Sunday. You did? I was giddy after that place. Is that where the four of us went? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's organic. It's grain-fed. I have not been there. You can do turkey, chicken, veggie, and beef. And listen, sometimes organic is good. It tastes good. It tastes better. It tastes better. But that place, the counter that he's talking about, it's in the forum in Carlsbad. It's on the corner of Lucadia.

1:02:17And El Camino Real. Next to Jimbo's. Used to be a sushi place. Yeah, used to be sushi on the rock. And the thing that's really cool about it is that you can get any combo of anything you want. Yeah. So like a new adventure every time. I like to get a fried egg on my burger. Oh, yeah. Silence. Are you serious? Oh, yes. You know what? I actually have had that, and it was good. You did? I was thinking about it because I was in Spain for a while, and there was this hamburguesa truck late at night. It only came out late, and there was a fried egg on it, and it was to die for. Everybody was looking at me like I was an alien right now. I'm telling you. But that place is good, dude. You're right. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, man. Thanks, brother. M1, Sean. Hey. Are you there? It's Sean. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that's cool. Go ahead. Did we just talk to you? Yeah. Sorry, Sean. How are you doing? Yeah. Oh, good. Nice to meet you. Thank you for the call. M1 Sanjaya, are you there? Yeah, what up, brother? So, dude, best burger in San Diego County. Okay, dude. I'm going to have to just say the Red Rooster. Where is it? It's up in Oceanside, right off of Oceanside Boulevard, off the 5 Freeway. Describe the burger to me. Well, it's like perfect.

1:03:39it's not too thick. You can bite into it. You're not going to make a mess all over yourself. It's juicy. They serve it with an Ortega chili fried onions or whatever that is. Grilled onions. Caramelized. I prefer to call them caramelized onions. I get made fun of by Woods every time I do it. Every time I say the word caramelized onions, he's like, really? Is that right, King Arthur? You would love Neighborhood Downtown. Have you ever heard of it? A friend of mine owns it, and it's downtown San Diego. It's called Neighborhood. It's a small little place. They just actually opened a bar there, too. And they have the best burgers. That's their specialty. And they're like caramelized onions, the fancy cheese. Really, really good. Love it. Love it. You would like it. Let's see. M1 Tobas. Save Nessie Burger. Best place. Nessie Burger is the second one we got. People saying that Nessie Burger is good stuff. Jay, no ho-dads, bro. Jay, not more. We've already talked about it, so I haven't been putting them through. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've got a ton. And emails are coming in, so, yeah. Trust me, people love their ho-dads. Well, when my wife came to visit.

1:04:50We went down. It's an OB, right? Yeah. Yeah, we went down to OB to walk around. And I was like, well, Jake always tells me about this place, Hodats. And there was, I don't know, 70 people in line at 11 o'clock in the morning. I was like, maybe we go somewhere else. Sure. Would you like to hear Carrie Underwood making her acting debut last night on How I Met Your Mother? More than anything, yep. Let's take a listen. Were you always this pretty? Are you going to give me that whole, oh, in high school I was really shy and awkward line? I was shy and awkward. I was like 100 pounds heavier and I had these crazy buck teeth. Seriously? No. I've always been hot. What are you going to do? You sure that's not Meryl Streep? What do you think? She did the best with what she had. I'm out on it. She's better on the next one. Yeah, that one. Is she doing Hamlet in the next one? Yeah, the next one she's doing Hamlet in the park. Can I borrow your teacup pig? Yes, you can borrow my teacup pig. You have a teacup pig? Do you know who else would love this teacup pig? My boyfriend. Do you like when girls do baby talk? Yeah. Would you? Sure. Me too. Yeah, my wife and I do baby talk. Oh, you do it back? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I don't do that. What does it sound like when you do it? We do it to the dogs, too.

1:06:08Can I hear? Come here, sissy. Come here. That's a dog, though. You do that with her. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to share our intimate baby talk. Oh, come on. What's the number one nickname? Deer. We call each other Deer. Deer. And she calls me Dew, like Doolittle. It's from a movie. It's from Coal Miner's Daughter. And that's her husband. You're the Coal Miner's Daughter? She's the Coal Miner's Daughter. I'm her husband, Doolittle. So she'll go, Dew, get me something to eat. Really? Yeah, it's funny. I think it's cute. What's your baby talk sound like? I don't know, dude. I think maybe you do know. I don't know. I think maybe you do know. I think maybe you know. Oh, wow. Look at that. He almost did it. He almost did it. I've never seen Woods not be able to bring himself. He's beet red right now. I can't do it. Lauren, Sienna, have you ever seen him blush? No. I don't think so. I've never seen Woods blush. I want to hear this so badly. Do we have to close our eyes? No. What I'll do, I'll have her call in one time. Let's call her right now. And we'll do it. No. Yeah, let's call her. She's busy. She's not busy. Jamie, call. Never mind. I want to hear it so bad. I know. I do, too. I can't. We'll get her on the line for the next break. I can't. Can we get her on the line? Zero percent. Please. For the next break. We'll try. We'll see what she says. Baby talk. We'll see what she says. I got the phone. She's got her phone. I got the phone. She's got his phone. I got it. Lauren. She's got a speed dial J.

1:07:35Do you talk baby talk? I found it already. No. You don't? No. Hello, darling. Good to see you again. It's wonderful to speak to you, Matt. No, I make up nicknames. I was just calling to share love with you. Make love to me, please. Like what? Like the biggest nickname I have for Matt is either Bubz or I call him Frank. You do Bubz? Bubz, yeah. I do Bubz, too. You do Bubz? I love Bubz. That's sexy. I love Bubz. Does he talk baby talk to you? No, we don't do baby talk. He calls me like... Baby talk is for losers. Breezy. Angel. So you don't have sweet voice. No. My voice is always sweet. Write that down. Good morning, Matthew. It's great to wake up on a fine Saturday with you. Good morning, Matthew. I just wanted to let you know... It's nice having you in my life. I care deeply for you if you were not aware. I can't imagine you doing Baby Talk, Mike. I think you're probably like, so babe, you know, like that. Absolutely. I'm a Vulcan. What? I do it. Like this kind of Vulcan? Yeah, yeah. Like I have no emotion. Yes, you do. Well, I do, but I'm very, you know. I know about that, Mikey. Yes. See, TomTom Girl, you can relate to it, right?

1:08:55Absolutely. Although I'm turning a new corner. Yeah, you really are. Turn left at next intersection. You're falling in love. I guess you could say that, Mikey. I can see it on your screen. It's written all over your screen. It's blushing. It's like flashing red. Yeah, it's like flashing red. I know. I didn't know that I could have embarrassment. Yeah. I'll tell you something, too. She's really been leading me on wild goose chases lately. You've really been kind of taking me out of the way. You're not up to speed. That TomTom girl is Woodsy's TomTom in his car. I'm not on full concentration yet, Mikey. That's perfect for me because I have no idea where I'm going half the time. Woods, cut me a break, please. Okay. Cut her a break. What choice do I have? Do you want to get to work every day or what? Exactly. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com if you want to get a hold of us by...

1:09:56Text. I had paused Carrie Underwood. We didn't get to hear the rest of that Shakespearean moment. You have a boyfriend? I know. So annoying, right? I mean, he's not really my boyfriend. Oh, good. I mean, technically, he kind of is. Well, is he or isn't he? Some of both, but definitely not neither. Are you getting any of this? This is why I don't watch one sitcom. I can't watch sitcoms. I'm really jealous of Carrie Underwood. I'm just going to say it. What do you mean? She just has it all. Yeah, she's very pretty and she can sing good. But she seems really nice and she stays out of the light, you know, and it's just... She doesn't get in trouble. Yeah, she's getting married to this guy who seems really cool. Yeah, you know what she does do, though? What? She vandalizes ex-boyfriend's cars by carving her name on the side of her. That's messed up. That is true. Yeah.

1:10:59She carves her name into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive. Smashes it with baseball bats. Sounds stable. Yeah, but it also sounds like just the type of girl that you would have dated back in the morning. Absolutely. You know, he cheated, though, so before he cheats, she's going to mess with him. That's what she's going to do. Yeah, maybe he'll think next time. Oh. Didn't that give every dude listening right now the skeebie-jeebies? It's the heebie-jeebies. No, I think when you skeebe out like that, it's the skeebie-jeebies. M1, Sarah. Yes. You have a baby talk idea? Yes. Yeah. So basically, you know, the wives call in and then you get to call the husbands and, you know, the wives baby talk. Then we get to hear all the husbands. They don't know that they're on the line. I love it. I love it, too. Can we call your husband? Huh? Do you have a husband? Yeah, we're actually carpooling right now. We carpool every morning, so we always listen to you guys. Oh, I would love to hear you two talk, maybe talk to one another. Just give it to us anyway. Do it right now. He won't do it. There's no way he's going to do it. Would he do it right now, Sarah? Him or me?

1:12:10Well, you're the more brave. You're the more brave. Let me hear what you would say to him on a given day. Hi, babe. Oh, wow. My goodness. Right now, he just rolled his eyes like, babe, really? He's like, really? No, he's laughing. Is that really the way that you do it, or were you just making jokes? No, no, yeah, sometimes. I mean, different every time, but sometimes we call each other a grandma and grandpa. We do the mama and papa. Are you grandparents? No. I love her. Let's hear his response. Yeah. Yeah, can we hear him say something back to you all sweet? Honey, you got to say something. Come on. You know what he's doing right now? He's creeping me out. You want to know what he's doing right now? What? He's motioning to her. No. No. He's telling her with his eyes and his hands to get. Get into it. Do you think he said to? Yeah. He wouldn't let her call if he wasn't into it. M1, crazy man. There is something eerie and insanely hot about Tom Tom Girl. What is up? I almost got in an accident. She's driving me crazy in the morning. I love the Tom Tom Girl. Tom Tom Girl, do you have enough developed human emotion to even process that this man finds you, and I'm using finger quotes, hot?

1:13:42Do you know what that means? Sometimes when I'm turned on for too long, the machine gets too hot and I need to be powered down. Got to turn it down because it'll warm up too much. And then it's bad news when that happens. Like I said, she drained my car. You drained my car. You left me on. I know. You drained my car. I had to get a jump start. Cannot shut myself off. I like when you guys bicker. It's kind of cute. I will need some better. Just better performance out of you. I'll need a software upgrade. I know you're happy and you're in love and all that, but, you know, you still got a job to do. Is there a part of you that's still jealous? A little bit. A little bit. There's a new guy that's taken her. My wife's a thousand miles away. Yeah, so TomTom Girl is really all you have. That's it. Literally. Now she's interested in the movie phone guy. Yeah, great. Interested would be an understatement, Mikey. They're love. They're love, I think. Can I ask a personal question, TomTom Girl? I think it's too late. Okay. Have you kissed him yet? Wow, look at the tom-tom girl. She's blushing. She's got the red thing coming out of the screen. The red flashes, yeah. Can I ask you something else? Because that was an answer in itself. Yes. Yeah. Is he a gentleman or does he try bases and stuff? He's an absolute angel, Mikey. Would you prefer that he slow down or make things go faster?

1:15:10I would prefer accelerated speed ahead, Mikey. Wow. She's ready. You guys are about to close the deal. Kind of. You guys are going to close the deal, it sounds like. How long have they been dating now? I don't know. Like three days? Three days. And she's like ready to jump in the case. She really is. I don't know what you put a tongue-tong in, so I just said the case. I don't know what that means. It worked. You guys would make love? They're going to go see a matinee, a little afternoon delight. Is that what's going to happen? I don't know. He's a movie film guy. I'm trying to make a metaphor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. M1 Borders. Hi, yeah. This is M1 Borders at the Forum. Yeah. And I call mine Garmin Electra. Garmin. Yes. Garmin Electra. I love it. And I cuddle it in front of my wife. And I tell her all the time, I wish she would talk to me the way she talks to me. Yeah.

1:16:06You know what I would do if he said that to me? Direct and to the point. I would grab the garment and throw it out the window and say, don't ever say that again. That is a true statement. There's never been a more true statement. Only a female would get jealous of a machine. Only a female would get jealous of a machine. Get out of here. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. We got Dude, You're Dumb coming up in a little bit. Hey, listen, we got a new thing, too, at MikeyShow.com. If you go to MikeyShow.com, we got a new thing called Woods of Wisdom. Have you seen the picture? Have you seen the picture? The picture is ridiculous. Yeah. Go to MikeyShow.com and look at the picture for Woods of Wisdom. That's what it is, right? It's like that. If you click on it. Stop it with that picture. Woodsy with a crystal ball. You look like you're going to lick it. Wait, is that really your, those aren't your hands, right? No. But it looks, who did that? It looks awesome. Our boy Jared. Jared. He's a machine. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. That's like a really creepy picture of your face, too. But if you click on it, and if you click on Woods of Wisdom, what this is, is it's a thing set up for guys, okay? And it's guy stuff, okay? It says, he knows all. Love, women, relationships, guy stuff.

1:17:33Says, need advice about dating, love, women's style, relationships, and how to just be a dude? Learn how to deal with your friends, coworkers, and the dude in line at Vons. All from the perspective of a guy with a big heart who's done the crime and did the time. Woods makes it right with Woods of Wisdom. So you just email us right there, submit it to us, and we'll get it. Gotten a few already, man. Looking forward to busting out. Yeah, we'll be doing a Woods of Wisdom soon. And so if you want in on that, just go to Mikey show dot com. You get in on some woods of wisdom. It's good stuff. So dude, you're dumb is on the way. Jay Leno had his first night back on The Tonight Show and he was a little bit nervous. And so we're going to be giving you some of that in just a bit. You get to hear what he sounded like when he was nervous. Let's see. Mikey show. Here is the. Burger Breakdown. From number one to number three. Well done. Number one, Rockies in PB. That's what I hear. Number two, Big Kahuna in PB. Big Kahuna? That was in Pulp Fiction. I know, right? No way. And number three, Hodad's in OB. M1DC says Hodad's the best. M1DorkNight says Rockies in Crown Point. We've got a lot of that.

1:19:02M1RJ says, Sonic is better than any of these local places. Wow, no. Never been. So good. Yeah, I can't believe that. It ain't as good as these. I haven't been to Sonic either. They do have tater tots there, though. Ooh, tots. Grow up, Peter Pan. Tater tots. I love tater tots. They have tater tots at Bubz and PB. Yeah. He's Bubz. Let's see. So when we get back, I'll play the embarrassing, or the nervous Jay Leno last night. First night back on The Tonight Show. And we'll do Dude, You're Dumb. Now, you can call in for Dude, You're Dumb as well. What Dude, You're Dumb is, is basically, you know that guy that does da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da? Dude, You're Dumb. The guy that takes the money out of the ATM while he's at the drive-up ATM, and then you have to sit behind him while... Counts his money. He counts his money, puts the receipt away, puts the money... By the way, that's me. Balances his checkbook. Balances his checkbook.

1:20:06So you can call in at 570-1949 if you got a dude you're dumb. We'll even, if you got a real good one, we'll give you a six-pack of CDs. It's FM 94.9, The Mikey Show. Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Craig and Riley. All year long, your car or truck faces sun, salt, road grime, and who knows what else. Everyone can see what that does to the finish at Craig and O'Reilly Auto Parts. you'll find a tremendous selection of washes, waxes, cleaners, wipes, towels, and chamois. Today's products can protect the finish and bring the shine back to one of your favorite investments. Get the best brands at low prices with great advice from people you know at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hurry into Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts today for spectacular savings on Eagle One appearance products from wash and gel wax to tire and wheel cleaners. Your choice, $3.99 each.

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1:24:37Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Good morning. This report is brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? You want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks. A Carfax report can help you. Just say, show me the Carfax. Or you can go to Carfax.com. On the 163 northbound after Friars rode an accident, CHP is running a brake to get everything over to the right shoulder. It's a three-car accident, one in the center divider, the other going the wrong way in the middle of lanes. And on the 94 eastbound at 30th Street, an accident, this one on the left shoulder, it's a hit and run, a car stuck in that center divider. This report also brought to you by Odor. eaters insults sometimes traffic is slow so you could walk faster get odor eaters insults and go they cushion your step and absorb sweat to keep your feet fresh and dry all day odor eaters ultra comfort and ultra durable insoles i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report going on this is evan from surfline.com with your fm 94.9 authentic surf report

1:25:51For a Tuesday morning brought to you by Goya Kiribamate, warm yourself up before a surf with a nice glass of tea. Surf today is waist and chest high with spots still catching from head high plus sets. Conditions are peaky lines with the light onshore wind putting a little crumble on it, but overall looking pretty fun. Look for better shape as the tide fills in through the AM and then reef breaks again, getting better shape as the tide starts to drop towards the late afternoon. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or online at southcoast.com. This surf report was brought to you by Guaya Kirbamate. It's only here three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. And the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Pointy, pointy, spiky, stylish. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Oh, great album. Color in the shape. Foose. Yeah, Woodsy Chews Copenhagen. That's for men, not boys. Sienna said she might want to put a pinch in at some point. I wanted to smell it. I've never seen it even before up close. Hideous. And it smells like garbage. Yeah, it's hideous. Garbage. It's horrific. Dude. With acid poured in it. It is a rough smell. No way. Copenhagen. Eat it for breakfast. He does. Literally.

1:27:51Uh, let's see. Copenhagen lollipops. That's right. That's what he does. Uh, so Leno's first night, right? Mm-hmm. Goes on, takes, after all the big controversy between him and, uh, between him and Conan, and here's his nervous opening monologue. I'm Jay Leno, your host, at least for a while. So let's do it. Here, here, here. Got it, man. I'm a little bit nervous. Not because it's my first night back, because I know Dave and Oprah are watching. Dave kind of made a couple little jokes. Dave was not shying away from the fact that he was back on TV last night. He said this. Thank you very much. Welcome to The Late Show. My name is Dave Letterman. Same time, same host. Love him, love him. I'll tell you something. Tonight is a rough night for my mom. She doesn't know who to watch, Jimmy Kimmel or Jay. Is it just me or is David Letterman winning just by a lot? Oh, yeah. He's the man. I'm on Team Coco. Who's Coco? Conan O'Brien. Oh, yeah. He's sitting home blasting cigs. That's what he's doing. He's chilling with his millions he just got. Yeah. And Netflixing. Twittering. He's Twittering. Sounds like the ideal life. He's catching up on his correspondence. That's right. All right, let's do this. You've known them. You've seen them.

1:29:24They may even be you. Woods just points them out. It's time for Dude, You're Dumb. Okay, flip-flop guy. I wear flip-flops too, pal. All right? I know you're laid back. I know you're laid back. You got flip-flops on? Pick your freaking feet up. When you're walking. Oh, the draggers. Yeah, the draggers. Flip-flop draggers? I don't know what it is. They slide. They slide? Hey, dude, what are you, Danish? You wearing wooden clogs? I don't need to hear you coming from a mile away, pal. Pick your feet up. Dude, you're dumb. He's tired. God. I got a couple from the grocery store, which is usually where I find all my gold for Dude, You're Dumb. Yeah, and by the way, people can call 570-1949 if you've got a Dude, You're Dumb. Go ahead. This one's pretty, I see it all the time. The guy with the basically full cart standing in line at the express lane. I saw it last weekend and I almost lost my mind. Yeah. Dude, you're dumb. Yeah. Don't you want to count what he has? Yeah, and I sit there and I mentally count. I'm like, there's 37 items in there, dude. This is 10 or under. I would be passive aggressive and be like, isn't this the express lane? Right, seriously. Am I in the right line?

1:30:38If it's 10 or under, just a quick question. If you have like 13, can you go? No. I go. You can't. Sienna. I go. If there's 13, no one's going to know. If it's like 12, 13 is getting really close to it. 13 is as high as I would go. What do you mean no one's going to know? If they're eight and they can't necessarily count yet. Yeah, but the clerk is not going to like correct me. Once I get up there, they're not going to be like, oh, you have 13. I'm going to cancel this and you're going to need to get in that line. They just want to get me out. What about the dude behind you? I don't care. That's got his five items. He could wait an extra half a second with my 13. And that guy is not looking at that. He's looking at something else, okay? Really? He's not checking that out. Do you guys know about the self-checkout line, right? The self-checkout lines? Yeah. I hate those things. Okay. Here's the deal. If you don't know how to work it. Don't use it. I got an idea. I've got an idea for you, though. Go there at midnight when nobody else is there and practice. I want you to practice three to five times before you come back. And in rush hour, you stand there going, you had a tomato and an onion. I don't know what to do. You're talking directly to me. I'm the guy trying to figure it out. I am.

1:31:58Knock it off. I know. You have to learn, though. Everyone has to at least try. Go at midnight when there's nobody there. Or go at four in the morning. You know what? Ralph's is open right here before the show one day. Stop by. Give it a little trial run before you go back here. No, I don't want to do that. Woods, do you do the thing where you stand behind a dude trying to figure out how to do one of these? Oh, yeah. He's tapping. He's doing the, what do you call it? The Astaire? The Fred Astaire where I just tap my foot. Like that. Yeah. Yeah. All the time. The foot tap is the stair. And if you buy any alcohol or something, you have to wait for the person to come and check your ID. Are you kidding? No, they have to check your ID. Oh, well, then why would someone do that? They do it all the time. Don't. Well, if you go to Home Depot, some things come up as like toxic or like huffing material. Yeah. So you have to get someone to sign off that you're 18 or something like that. So I'm like, what's the point?

1:32:55Do you do the self-checkout, Woods? Yeah, all the time. We practically all do self-checkout now. It's like, push this button, push this button. Is this okay? It's like, what is the cashier doing now? Well, they're still ringing me up and stuff. Yeah, but still. But I like it. Not me. I went one time and the dude behind me was the Astaire. Yeah, because I couldn't figure it out. Couldn't figure it out and he looked at me like I was a dumb head. I like the going to the clerk. They're nice. We have conversations. This last one slays me. It just slays me. So I'm in the restroom. You're next to me. We're doing our business. Okay? Yeah. You leave before me, and you don't wash your hands. And you grab the door, and now I've got to touch your piece when I open the door. Paper towel. Dude, you're dumb. Always grab a paper towel. Always wash your hands. How about that? You can't account for that. Even if you didn't see them washing, it doesn't mean there wasn't. 50 guys before. Exactly. You know what, though? But don't do it blatantly in front of me. Yeah, it's gross. Hey, man, what's up? Zip up and then walk out and grab the door. I got a dude. I got a dude. Let's fire away. If I am standing at a urinal, I don't want a small talk. Seriously. I don't know how you guys do that. What's up, pal? How you doing? Woodsy, do you do that? I have. I was just asking Todd about this. Woodsy is so chatty. Woodsy is so chatty. He's so chatty.

1:34:19that there's no doubt in my mind that he would... Hey, dude, what's up? What's up, Pat? I am fascinated by the urinal. Me too. I'm telling you this. I was talking to Todd about it the other day, and I said, all right, now tell me, would this be weird? You go into a public bathroom, maybe you're at a party for a bunch of people you know, whatever. You go up to the urinal, you start to go to the bathroom, and then my dad walks in. My dad is at the urinal next to you. Is that weird? Right. Yeah. He said, no, it's not weird at all. Yes, it is. He said, no. Todd call. That's weird. You know what else I do? I might give the little joke if I'm standing there next to a dude. How do you do that? Say, this water's cold, isn't it? Water? What do you need water? Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. What? Figure it out. Water? Does it splash? I'm going to paint you a picture. No. She doesn't know how a urinal works. Boy, this water's cold. I don't know. She doesn't get it because she's a girl. She'd have to physically. Are you talking about shrinkage? No. See, girls don't get it. You got to look at a urinal. Is there a fountain? How do we explain this? They have to look at it. They got to see it. I've seen a urinal. I know, but there's like a thing of water at the bottom of it. Yeah, it's filled with water. Oh, so you're saying your thing is reachable. Yes.

1:35:31This water is cold. Do you say that? I have before. What about the ones that are like troughs and it blows down? Won't use it. Won't use it. Way too insecure. Way too insecure. I will hold it. Other people are looking at yours flowing down the street. I would have to have a, like one of those changing, you know. The Asian rice paper on either side. Exactly. I'd have to have a screen. I'd have to come with my own mosquito netting. I can't imagine. You don't know what stage fright is until you go to a sporting event and you're standing there with 60 other dudes going. What's up, man? Oh, yeah. Standing there going, oh, my gosh. Are you kidding? You can't get it out fast enough. Dude, if I go to one of those, I'll be like, I'm going to American Airlines Center in Dallas where I know this doesn't exist like this. Can somebody run some water? I can't go. It's awful. It's awful. Awful. And I'm telling you, I want Todd to call in because if somebody stands next to me, if my father-in-law stood next to me,

1:36:40Now, do you guys remember at the old station? Yeah. Do you remember Chainsaw from Dave Schelling Chainsaw? Okay. I'd be in there. I'd be standing at the urinal. Chainsaw would do this purposefully. First of all, he's six foot four. He's like double you. Oh, yeah. He's double me. He's six foot four. So he would come stand next to me and he'd go, hey, Sparzy, how you doing? And I would be like, oh, I would be so nervous. Just cower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turtle head. Yeah. Because first of all, you got to understand, like. Dude is a legend anyway here in San Diego. So I was always nervous around Chainsaw anyway because he's a legend. Yeah. And he, I think, knew it, you know. So he would mess with you. Cool dude. Hey, Sparzy, how you doing? And I'd go, I'm good, Chaney. And he'd stand there a couple more seconds to go. Crazy weather we're having, isn't it? Oh, just killing you. Oh, killing me. I have a friend that worked there, too, at Clear Channel, and he would say he would go to the bathroom, but he would need to be doing a different kind of bathroom, so he'd be in the stall, and Chainsaw would come walking in, and he'd go in the stall next to him, and my friend wouldn't make a sound, because it's awkward, you know? Right, right, right. And Chainsaw would be like, what? You're not going to give me the courtesy coffee? He would do that. He would do that. Captain Callout. Dude, he would embarrass you.

1:38:00Like, I would be there, and I knew it was Chainsaw, and I would be so terrified, and I would be so quiet, right? I wanted to, like, lift my legs up. Hold them up? Yeah, and he would go there, and he would be next to you, and he'd be like, I know you're in there. Oh, just kill me. Hilarious. Guy needs a refresher course on bathroom etiquette. Okay, what about for you guys? Like, if you guys were in a urinal next to each other, would it be awkward? Yes. Mikey and Woods. Yes, 100%. Absolutely. Like, what do you do if your friend's in there, you really have to go, do you, like, turn around and leave? Do you just go wash your hands? One of our sales guys, who I really like, really cool dude, I was, he was there, okay, and I'm leaving, and he goes, hey, dude, by the way, blah, blah, blah, you know, and I'm like, Oh, my gosh. And I turn around and I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. And he's like, hey, and if you need any help on that thing, man, just let me know, dude. And I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, I want to go, I want to go, I want to go, I want to go. Should institute a silence-only policy in the bathroom. Just no talk. Yeah. I'm absolutely down with that. Yeah. Absolutely down with that. M1 Ponce, you got a dude you're dumb. How's it going?

1:39:17Thanks, brother. Thank you, man. That's a great call. That's a great call. I don't like that move at all. What do you mean? The waiter that sits down with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, here's the thing. There are people that really dig that. I kind of like it. You do? Oh, not me. If they're cool, then usually when they sit down, they end up throwing in a couple of free drinks. I don't like the overzealous, overselling waiter. It's 11.30. We go to lunch. Can I get you guys some El Presidente margaritas? No, dude, it's 11.30, pal. 11.30. Steven Todd and I will be like, okay. There's a very fine line between too much and too little waiter. Yep. Mikey Show. Oh, Jay. Jay. Are we doing this again? I love Jay so much. All right. Check this out. Dude, I know everyone has dealt with this situation, and this is for my two bosses because they have road rage like nobody's business, okay? So you're driving along to an intersection, and there's someone in front of you who's barely doing the speed limit, and they put their left blinker on to go left like 300 feet before the intersection. Yep. Dude, you're dumb.

1:40:46Thank you, dude. That's known as the eventual left. It's the eventual left. I like that. That's Seinfeld. I can't stand the people who, when you're driving and you let them go in front of you, you do them a favor and they don't give you the courtesy wave. I want to jam my car into them. Really? Wave. Really? I'm doing you a favor. Yeah, the courtesy wave is important. It's really important. Do you give a courtesy wave, Lauren? Oh, always. You are? And I'm always the one that lets people go, too. Me too. Me too. I sometimes am. Woodsy? Oh, yeah, dude. I'm a waver. I'm actually, I'm a really kind of aggressive driver. Weird. Yeah. But I'm also, I'll let people in. I waive the whole bit. I'm from Texas, dude. That's what we do. Yeah, I always let people in. I think you should let people in. I'm an over-waver. You're an over-waver? I'm like, thanks. Hi. Want to be friends? Have a good day. Easy, dude. Facebook me. I'm on Facebook. You can listen to me on the radio. Classic. How about the dude? Oh, this one's bad. This is probably my least favorite dude. You're driving. The speed limit is 45 miles an hour. You're doing the speed limit. And the dude pulls out of the gas station in front of you to get in the lane that you're in so that he can go two miles an hour. But he didn't want to wait. Yep.

1:42:07It was going to take too long for you to pass. Right. So he wanted to go right then. Yep. Like a kid that wants his BB gun on Christmas morning. He's like, I got to go right now. I can't. It especially kills me when someone does that and there's no one behind you. Yes. You're like, really? Really, dude? And so now I slow down, but I used to be the guy that would get right up on you. Yeah, me too. Yep. Give him a colonic. Yep. Right up on. Right up on the guy. You know what I do to the guy that gets right on my bumper? What? I just lean on my windshield wipers. I just lean on them, dude. I lean on them. That is brilliant. For a minute. Just to get the wet? Yeah, because it sprays. It sprays them. Oh, yeah. And you see them behind like. That's a good move. That is the best thing I have ever heard. I've heard of brake checking. What are you teaching people around? Yeah. I'm going to do that. Pull that move. Brilliant. One time I pulled the angry, like somebody pulled out in front of me like that, and it was two lanes merging into one. So I gave, I sped by him like a, just to show him how mad I was. In your Prius? Yeah, in your smart car. Well, you, the momentum of the story has now been killed, but I ran out of gas. No way! Yeah.

1:43:31I used to not like to be interrupted. She doesn't. Girl interrupted. Yeah. Dude, we got to get a drop. It was girls interrupted. Yeah, we do. I thought it was girl interrupted. The movie with Winona Ryder? It's girl. Singular. Really? I bet you a dollar. Singular. I bet you a Diet Coke and a two-mile jog to get it. I think I'll pass. You're right. M1DGAF. Go ahead. I work at Legoland, California. Lucky. And I have those little, like, churro stands, you know? Yes. We have the signs with all the prices basically right in front of the register, so when they come up to order, they can see it loud and clear, that kind of thing. I just every day have the doo-doo-dum kind of thing where people walk up, how much is a churro? $3.50. How much is a pretzel? $3.50. How much are Dippin' Docs? $4.25. And it's right in front of their face. Amazing. Amazing. Just keep pointing to the sign. Don't even verbalize it. That's brilliant. Maybe they're hoping for a sale. Yeah, that is brilliant. I also get the people that are like, oh, hey, buddy, can I get the special prize? Come on, man. Oh, the wheelers and deal, like my dad is in there wheeling and dealing with you. I wouldn't even know how, because I've never done that. I wouldn't know how to even playfully respond. You can't. Michael, I would be, if I was with you and we took Jake to Legoland, your son.

1:44:49and you try to wheel and deal for a churro, I would go sit in your car. I would be so mortified. Oh, yeah, I think it's mortifying. Lauren, have you had the people try to wheel and deal stuff with you when you worked at Belly Up? Yeah, we started to talk about this the other day. Somebody asked how much a beer is. Oh, really? For $6 for an Amstel Light? What about the $4 Amstel Light? No, dude, it doesn't exist. Get it! Yeah. Dude, you're dumb. Is that how you would say it? I would say, oh, no, we don't have that. And then I would say, I don't make the prices. I just sell it. That's fantastic. Yeah. Oh, that would annoy me. It's really annoying. I wouldn't even know what to say to the dude that said, oh, can I get the special on the churro? Well, you know, you're expecting like a really big tip, too, when they're asking how much everything is and then trying to wheel you down. Mike, I'll tell you, I am the guy. I buy sticker price for everything. If I go buy a car, I'm like, that's what it says. That's what I'm paying. I cannot negotiate at all. Really? Yes. I cannot negotiate. So you will take whatever they're... 100%. Oh, wow. Yeah. My wife will handle all the negotiations in my house. M1 Nate. Hey, what's going on? Not too much. Hey, good to hear you on the radio again. Welcome to your new home. Thank you, brother. So you guys have to do some kind of a Starbucks coffee warning that...

1:46:12Let me know if we're going to talk about funny stuff like male bathroom etiquette so that I wait to buy my coffee and don't spew it all over my house. That's awesome. That is awesome. The urinals, I just love them. Yeah, women are really interested, right? Because it's something that we will never know. Yeah. But I'm really jealous that they get to sit down every time they pee. You can. Yeah, and I do. And I do too. Wow. Wait, wait, wait. Wow. Really? Every time? Almost. Me too. No, unless I'm in a hurry. If you're at home. Absolutely. You sit down every time. Absolutely. Woods? Yeah, 100%. You know I eat cereal and read. Yeah. Even when I pee. We know you eat cereal while on the toilet. It's comfortable. But you guys are there real quick. A little shake, shake. You're out. It depends. I'm very lazy. See, if I could stand, I would. I am super lazy. If I could stand, I would. It's so easy. Why stand when you can sit? Why stand when you can sit? It's cleaner. What? It's cleaner. It's my house. It's way cooler. It's not. It's not. But like if you're at work or something, like when I go in these bathrooms sometimes. I hover. Yeah. I'll hover. You don't stand in the bathrooms here? Why don't you squat here? You don't just stand? I hover. How is that more comfortable? Because I know Mike was just in there sitting down. No, no, no. Not here. We don't have enough time. That's true. He stands when he pees because he always leaves his seat up.

1:47:34Who, was he? Yes. That's funny because I've never put a seat up or down in my life ever. Ever. Never. Ever. Never. You've never put a seat up. You must hover over the already up seat then. No, I have phenomenal aim. If I stand. Every time I come back to you. Do they lower the seat? I don't do anything. Do they raise the seat for me? When you're a guy. That's one of my bits. Tell me. There's a sign in our bathroom that says, men, please put the seat down. How about ladies, put the seat up. No, we don't need to. They don't need to. If you want to, you can sit and pee. Yeah. You just said it yourself. Woodsy's never? Never. I don't do it. I have good aim. Wow, man. Guy's a marksman. You must go to some kind of practice or something. What's it? Where are you going? I got pee practice. I got pee practice today. I'm so confused. I'm finding holes in your story. You sit down, you have good aim. Sometimes I sit down, but like here, like sometimes I'll stand because like Mike said, we don't have a lot of time. If I walked in and saw Todd sitting, I would laugh and then, I don't know, I'd fall on the ground. I don't know, it'd be weird. I don't know what I just said right now on the radio that my wife knows, but I know she isn't surprised. Yeah, no, I'm not either. She didn't know that you sit when you pee? Maybe not.

1:48:50I don't always. Like here I don't. If I'm in a public place, I don't. Yeah. I stand in a public place. I stand in a public place. That's a good call. It's a good. It's a home thing. It's a good rule of thumb. In the middle of the night, you know, you get up and you know, you like to be comfortable. It's nice and comfortable. Some people have their routines. They take off all their clothes. They do all that. Woodsy. Yes. How much you want to bet? that these ladies don't even realize their husbands are probably, they're boyfriends. No, I 100% promise you. Yeah, I can 110% promise you. I will walk in the bathroom and see him standing. You know, it's funny because we talked before about products and things that men use. And Matt, you know, when Lauren said, my man's a real man, he uses soap and a wash rag. That's right. Something sad. Didn't even use shampoo. Used to borrow soap on his head. I said shampoo and conditioner one. No. I think you said bar of soap and a wash rag. She said shampoo and conditioner on one. Like the Pert Plus. I don't know what we're yelling about! Then it turns out that we find out Matt's a moisturizer too. And he's an exfoliator. And he uses your loofah. I think the kids rubbed off on him. I just found out that he uses the loofah. And the lotion is as generic as it can get. It doesn't matter. He's still moisturizing. Wait, why are you throwing Matt under the bus? I guarantee Matt and Todd both stand. I guarantee you Matt sat down to pee before.

1:50:10Never. Oh, God. Jay, come on. Please, grow up. Yeah. I'm so tired. It takes, like, what, 30 seconds? Oh, I mean, you know, so you're dropping trowel. That takes more time than it does. Zip. Really? Why stand when you just sit? Zip. Done. So, check this out. So, Lauren says that she's at, and you tell me where you are on this, because this reminded me of something. Lauren says, Yesterday, her and her boyfriend, Matt, go to the beach. And they're out there. And they see these two small kids swimming in the ocean. Their mom's on the beach. And she's watching them from the sand. How old would you say, Lauren? I'd say the boy was probably like five or six. And his, I'm assuming, sister, yeah, his sister was like eight. She says, next thing we knew, the mom jumped up from the sand, made a mad dash for the water. She leapt into the water, pulled her son out. She says, I was freaking out, didn't know what was going on, but the little boy was screaming, and very soon the lifeguard was over there. His sister came out of the water. She's crying too. So I run over to her to see if she's okay. Between sobs, this is Lauren writing this. She says, between sobs, she told me that her brother got a hook in his leg from a fisherman on the shore. Okay? Long story short, the mother and the fisherman are exchanging words. The lifeguard's trying to moderate, and the kids are both crying.

1:51:39Little boy was physically OK for the most part, but he was pretty shaken up. The fisherman would not even say sorry. He was saying she could overhear it. He's saying that it was a mother's fault for letting the kids swim in that area where he's there fishing. And he was fishing there before the kids decided to go for a swim. It was an unbelievable display. Yeah. Now, this is. So crazy because, okay, so I'm hearing that story. I'm like, hmm. You know, obviously, fisherman guy is... A jerk. A jerk. Because, like, if you get a little kid with a hook, like, be cool, man. Yeah, dude. Like, for, you know, for sure. But it reminded me because the other day, I'm on Facebook and I, somebody that's, one of my friends left a status that said that he was at...

1:52:39his apartment complex's gym. And while he was in there on the elliptical, a woman came in with her son. And the son was a toddler, maybe three years old. At the gym? At the gym at the apartment complex, okay? And so he's on the elliptical, this dude that was posting the status. The mom gets on a machine and the kid's like running around willy-nilly. And the kid got bored. like kids will do, picked up one of those exercise balls and was bouncing it, bounced it to the elliptical, and it bounced back and smacked the kid in the face. Now, it made me think to myself, I wonder if that guy was really apologetic or if he was like, serves you right for bringing your kid into the gym and using like the workout equipment as your babysitter. What would he have to apologize for? I don't understand. It hit the elliptical. It hit the elliptical, bounced back, and maybe, like, because the kid is crying or whatever, if the kid starts crying, that you're like, oh, sorry, you know. Yeah. It seems like that would be like a ball hitting against a wall with a guy just leaning against a wall. Like, he had nothing to do with it. He didn't mean it, right? Yeah. And nothing that he did had any effect on the ball hitting the kid, right? Yeah.

1:54:07It was purely an accident, correct? Yeah, but I guarantee the mom wanted him to apologize. Absolutely. But what I just painted out is the exact same as the fisherman throwing the hook into the water. He didn't mean to hook the kid. He didn't mean to hook the kid. He was out there just doing his thing. He was fishing. He didn't have any intent on hooking kids. He did. He did. But he didn't mean to. It was a complete accident. But he was being careless. Yeah, and he cast the line. The fisherman? How is he being careless? He's fishing. He still casts the line, though. Yeah, but he's fishing. Well, like in front of kids, scoot down the beach. Wait, are you guys saying that you think that this guy intentionally is trying? Guy hadn't caught anything all day. He's mad. That was a good one. Not intentionally hit the kid, but it's a whole beach. Scoot down a little bit, buddy. The kids are swimming there. They get priority. Got one. Got one. Got one. 570-1949. I want to know what people think about this. Do you think to yourself, it's totally wrong to not say anything? Or do you think to yourself,

1:55:19Why do you not, like, watch your kids? Why don't you know where your kids are? Oh, that's a good question, too. 570-1949. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. The show's coming up this week. Wednesday night, you can see Tegan and Sarah at Copley Symphony Hall. Manchester Orchestra plays House of Blues this coming Sunday, the 7th. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will be there next Saturday, March 13th. And Bad Religion, do three nights in a row at the House of Blues to celebrate their 30th anniversary. So huge. They're going to play there March 19th, March 20th, and the 21st. Bad Religion, House of Blues, all three shows are all ages. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

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2:00:36Oh, well, they also say the more the merrier. To get started, apply today at NavyFederal.org. Equal housing lender. This report is brought to you by your San Diego Farmers Insurance agents. With Farmers, you don't just get insurance, you get ready. Get to know your Farmers agent, Hernan Diaz. Call him today, 619-296-3276, because ready feels good. Five southbound after E Street, an accident. It's a car that hit the center divider. This car is now sitting in the number four lane. Also on the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road and the five, we're seeing stop and go traffic. It's in the teens right now. This report brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. Right now, take 40% off the regular price of Napa Gold. filter for your car or light truck at participating Napa Auto Parts stores. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. What is that, Woodsy? That's the gutter twins, dude. That's Mark Lanigan and Greg Dooley. Who's that? Mark Lanigan was the lead singer for the Screaming Trees. You might remember them from the singles soundtrack. I do. And then Greg Dooley was the lead. Are they iPhone?

2:02:32I nearly lost you. And then Greg Dooley was the lead singer of the Afghan Wigs. So together, they are the gutter twins. Soothing sounds. Mm-hmm. There you go. It's a jam. 570. 194.9. So here's the topic. Lauren was at the beach, saw a fisherman throwing a line, hook a kid. Mom's standing there. Kid comes out. How old did you say again? Like six. About six years old. Fisherman, no remorse. Doesn't care. Which, by the way, I said, I think that's wrong. Now, I do also think, like, we should be watching our kids. Yes. And then I was talking about this guy that made the status update on Facebook, and he said that he was at his apartment complex's gym. Lady came in there with her three- or four-year-old, gets on her machine, her kid's bored, starts bouncing a ball around, hits his elliptical, bounces back, hits the little kid in the face. Little kid's upset and crying. Now, if that happens and the guy on the elliptical doesn't care, doesn't do anything about it, does that make him a monster? No, but I think the difference was that the fisherman was careless in my instance and the mother was careless in the other instance. Why was the fisherman careless? Because he is throwing a sharp metal object where children are and casting a line. But isn't he fishing where people fish? But he's an adult.

2:04:02He's an adult and he can see the repercussions that come from him. So is their mother, though. Thank you. So is their mother to say, hey, guys, or go grab the fisherman and say, hey, dude, should I move down the beach like 100 yards? I don't know. I mean, she might have. She may have. I don't know. He was there first. Yeah. But kids did. Wait, first of all, how do we know that? I think he said. Did he say? Yeah, he said that he was there first. Oh, they showed. Okay. He said he was there first. That was his argument. Not that. That makes a difference. See, I do. I think he should have said, hey, I'm really sorry. That's, you know, that's my bad. Anything I can do to help. But I don't think he did anything irresponsible by fishing in the ocean. I don't either. I just think that there's riptides in the water and kids move real quick. You know, like the mom there, you know, she's looking up every few seconds, but they move. You know, the fishermen stay in still. Fisherman doesn't see kids. Mom. walks up with kids, sees fishermen. Yep. Hey, Mom, come on. Scoot. Yeah, scoot, maybe. I don't know. Move it along. She was trying to be where the lifeguards were, so I see her point. That makes sense, too. No, that makes sense. We had some good calls on this, too. All right, let's take some calls. This is M1 Drugstore. Yeah, the one at fault is the lifeguard. The lifeguard has to monitor the fishermen and the swimmer. It's his job to tell the fishermen, A,

2:05:24You've got to move down at least 100 to 200 yards down the beach away from any swimmer. Didn't even consider that. What do you think of that, Lauren? I don't know. I mean, I don't know the rules on that. I've never known because I've been surfing plenty of times and I've almost been clotheslined by those things. So I never know what the protocol is for that. Trips me out. Jay was telling us at the break that he went water skiing and got a line across him one time, a fishing line. Yeah, it was scary. I mean, it was a water ski show and they were throwing lines off the apartments or the condos that are right on the water. And you'd be doing the show and all of a sudden the lines would come across and hit your leg. Oh, so scary. Dude, did it ever? Never hooked me. Never hooked me. I just, you know, I kind of blip my leg up or do something. Oh, dude. That just gives me the skeebie-jeebies. Yeah, hooks are scary. Skeebs me out and gives me the heebie-jeebies at the same time. Okay, I got it. M1 Jeremiah. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm a deckhand on a fishing boat, and the way the law works is if it's your hook, it's your fault. Wow. Yeah. The bottom line, no angle, no tangle. Keep the line in front of you. I pretty much live on a sport fishing boat half the year. That's just the way it is. I mean, I got hooked myself with a very large hook. You guys like to check it out on YouTube. How do we check it out? Yeah, how do we check it out? You type in three words, deck and tuna.

2:06:52Just like that. Deck hand tuna? Yeah. I can't watch it. I can't. Question. Question. Is there any cursing in it? No. None at all. All right. Thank you for the call. Let's play it. I can't watch. I can't watch. Deck hand tuna. It's actually one word. 30 pound tuna gets back at the house. Dude. Lauren, can you see gnarly stuff? Can you see gnarly stuff? Yeah. It's gnarly. As soon as you come look, it's going to be immediately normal. It's through his fingertip. She almost threw it. They're pulling it out. Lauren looked for one quarter of one second. That was so bad. Man. Too bad. Was that loaded? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we got it. My heart's racing. No, it's all right. We got it. Oh, man. I've been on those fishing boats. Mikey was like Wyatt Earp.

2:07:56In a gunfight with that dump button. Oh, yeah. You would have gotten anybody, dude. I've been on those fishing boats before. Have you? Yeah, dude. I did it two times. Caught a fish and they taught me something really cool. They took microwave popcorn and they popped the popcorn, threw out the popcorn. We just caught a fish, filleted the fish. stuck it in the bag, put it back in the microwave, and cooked up some of the juiciest, buttery, delicious fish I've ever had in my life. That's wild. It's an old fishing boat, like, you know, trick. He's like, you want to have the best fish you've ever had? I'm like, yeah. Of course. He goes, I'm going to make you the microwave special. It's delicious. I bet there's good fishing out there right now. Would you girls go? Or would you get sick? I'd get seasick. You'd get seasick? Yeah, I'd get seasick pretty easily. I'd go if we threw it back. I don't want to eat what I cook or what I catch. I've caught fish before. You know, I make Jamie take the fish off the hook because I can't. I got gilled when I was a kid. I got finned. Was it finned? Hey, Jimmy Houston, what is it called?

2:09:22It's called getting finned, right? What is it? Yeah, you got on the fish's fin. I got finned. That's what happens when you cut yourself on the fin? Yeah, the fin will get you, and it freaked me out when I was a little kid. Was it a catfish? Yeah, it was a catfish. Oh, those are brutal. Oh, dude. And so now if I catch a perch, I'm like, honey, I need you to get this off here and bait my hook for me. And she does it? Yeah, she'll do it. Oh, that's precious. My mom got a hook in her nose. Yeah, my sister went back with the pole, the cast, and just like, kind of ripped on it a couple times. My mom's screaming her head off. That's like something about Mary. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Dude. Dude. Eddie's dad went fishing one time, had one of those electric, you know, where you press the button and it's electric. It goes. Yeah. And pulls it back in. He had caught the fly around his finger and went. Oh, dude. Come on. And it went. Right around the bone. You're giving me the pee shivers, dude. Right around the bone. Just went right in there. You know what he did? What? Took a pair of pliers like a man. Like a man. Like a man. I am not that much of a man. I would have to go under general anesthetic. Mama! Yeah. Where they put an IV in me and they're like, all right, we're going to count backwards from 10. And when you wake up, the operation will be over. Yep. Like, I would have, I mean, kidding me. Ugh.

2:10:50So painful. My dad had to cut the barb off and then it was able to, because you just cut the little barb off because it won't pull back through and just pulled it back through. Did he cut it off with like those needle nose pliers? Right there. I was like, oh. She have to get a tetanus shot? Most people in my family already had tetanus shots. We were always up to date. And the skin on your nose is tough. Oh, dude. Nice little nose piercing you got there. Mikey. M1 Sanjaya. Yeah. He just texted me. He said, I had to turn the radio off. It skeeves me out so bad. I can't even listen to anybody talk about that stuff. I'm the same way. Yeah, me too. It skeeves you out? Oh, it skeeves me out so bad. See, I oddly enjoy it. It's like watching operation shows. I can watch those all day. Oh, Michael. Yeah. You guys can't do that? Makes my heart hurt. When they show, like, liposuction and show the fat coming through the hose, I know. I think that's fascinating. Oh. That's actual audio of it. Moving on. Yeah, that stuff is fascinating to me. M1 podcast. Hey, welcome back on the air, Mikey. Thank you very much, dude. Whose fault do you think it is, the fisherman or the mother? I lay it on both of them because the fisherman, like you said, the fisherman should have been, oh, man, you know what? I'm sorry that your son got hooked, but he shouldn't have been around here because I'm clearly fishing here. Yeah.

2:12:14The thing that I was wondering about was, was he in a fish-only zone? Because I know in Oceanside, you know, you've got a surf-only part and a public part, and then there's people that fish in certain spots. So, I mean, like you said earlier, if the mom was watching her kids, she should have seen the fishermen. Yeah, you know, I think it was one of those things, like I said, I'm not sure what the protocol is where I was, but... It was like right. I heard the lifeguard saying they were like right on the they both were like right on the border of where they should have been. And it was tough for him to call who was kind of in the wrong. But he was saying to the guy, come on, dude, he's a little kid. Just say sorry. And he was like, no way. No, no. He shouldn't have been there. Being a baby. I know. That's dumb. No. Dude, you're dumb. Don't say what I say. That's dumb. Kid was so upset. He's so upset. Yeah. He will probably never get in the water. I know. Ever. I'll say this. I don't think that that would have been my kid. And the reason I don't is because I wouldn't have my kid around there where there's a fisherman. You wouldn't let your kid in the ocean probably ever. Oh, dude. Let me tell you a story. It's the worst. So bad. Fourth of July last year. My poor wife. She's a Saint Rebecca. She is. I put her through so much.

2:13:38Garbage. So we go to the beach 4th of July, which I'm already really uncomfortable with because when I was a kid, we didn't do that kind of stuff. She did. OK, so if you're a guy that's been raised where you don't do things like that, it's difficult for you to do them. And so I'm doing it. And what it really stems from is insecurity. I don't know how to be a dad. So instead, I pout and like a baby about doing it. Right. Because the truth is, I don't know how to be a dad. So we go down there, and she takes Jake to where the waves are just coming in. And one of them knocks him over. And I think I'm going to lose my mind. My marbles fell out all over the sand. I lost all of them. And I was like, whoo! And she's like, babe, he's okay. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. He could have drowned! Oh my gosh! You were yelling at her, were you? No, I wasn't yelling at her. You know what I did? It was the quiet storm, which is even worse. Your eyes were probably the size of tennis balls. When I was a kid, we came to California. I was like 10. And I went boogie boarding at Redondo Beach in LA. And the current took me about...

2:15:03400 yards away from my parents. And my dad is walking up and down the beach furiously like, where did he go? And I'm having a ball. I'm going out. I'm riding in, but I'm riding in at an angle. Right. And so I wound up literally like, and he sees me running down the beach like, this is awesome. I'm having a blast. Right, right, right. And he's just finally like. I mean, he had no idea where I was. Yeah. It's a scary feeling. Oh, yeah, man. I'm telling you. The ocean, it scares me a little. It scares me a little. M1 Barry. Barry, you there? Go ahead. Yeah. Hey, man. Hey, me and my little brother, we used to go fishing all the time. So we were out at Santee Lakes. You guys know where that is? Uh-huh. And we always, like, freaking sucked there. We'd never catch anything. Yeah. Has anybody ever caught a fish at Santee Lakes? Has anybody ever one time caught a fish there? Well, they did, but it's two-headed. Yeah, no kidding. So he's 10. We used to fish all the time. So we're just going. Nobody's there. It was a weekday. All of a sudden, he starts crying. I'm like, what the heck is your problem, dude? Because, you know, we're just that kind of family. And he had cast his own lure into the back of his head.

2:16:26I can't hear anymore. I cannot hear anymore. You guys know those treble hooks, right? They have three hooks on one. Dude. All three into the back. Oh, Sienna just had to take her headphones off. She is now clutching the side of her head with her head down. Everybody here, like right now, Lauren's fists are clenched. Her teeth are clenched. I just spit my dip out. I'm telling you, that really, that has an effect on people. I love these stories. I could hear them. All day long. I know. Yeah. Disgusting. Oh, it's terrible. It hurts me. They're very dangerous. The fishing stuff is very dangerous. Oh, how about this? How clean are those bagged salads that we're getting at the grocery store? The ones that are just ready to go. Yeah, ready to eat. Love those. They say pre-washed and triple washed on the bags. Are you about to, is my day about to leave my body? Maybe. Never to return? Well, recent consumer reports, they tested the bags, found bacteria, and that there are common indicators of poor sanitation and fecal contamination in the lettuce.

2:17:43Now, they're saying they tested 208 containers of the salad greens and found that 39% of the samples exceeded acceptable levels of, you know, all of these little bacteria in the tests that they have to do, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But they're saying, yeah, don't buy those bags. If you do, you need, Mike, don't roll your eyes. Who wants to eat bacteria? This is what happened with the spinach, too. That was an overreaction. People can't pay attention to the pre-wash stuff. You always have to wash your fruits and vegetables. See, I never wash the bags, and now I will because they say, you know, always wash them, wash them yourself, even though, you know, it says you don't need to. They also recommend buying packaged greens as far from their expiration date as you can get, and just buy the fresh greens over the packaged. Lauren, I picture you with a little toothbrush with each individual leaf. Are you washing mine with Clorox from now on, dude? Matt likes to buy the prepackaged salads and I... You don't like that? No. Some of them are so good because they have the dressing included, you know, and you just like dump it all in there. Yeah. You've got the radishes and the carrots and all that stuff in it. I love it. Yeah, it's got the little Caesar package. Is there any bigger beating than making a homemade salad with all that stuff in it? I forget. It's awful. If you buy a head of lettuce and you chop it up, it's so fresh and good. I'm out on it. It takes an hour. No, it doesn't.

2:19:06Tell me about the Lauren salad. What's the Lauren salad? Tell me if I said, okay, you're coming over and we're doing potluck. You bring the salad, Lauren. What do you do? A colorful salad is a healthy salad. A colorful salad has a bunch of stuff in there. As many different colors as you can get means you're getting a whole array of nutrients. I'm out. Lettuce and dressing and croutons. I have a go-to salad. The romaine lettuce, that same lettuce that's in the Caesar. I get apples, candy walnuts, blue cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette. I do something similar. It's really delish. Well, I do organic mixed greens, dried cranberries, apples sometimes, walnuts, crumbled blue cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette. It's the most foul thing I've ever heard. No way. I like fruit. And I like salad. No, you have to try it. I like baked potatoes and I like fruit too, but I'm not going to put fruit on my baked potato. Some candied walnuts. No, they're so good. I did. I had it. I had it. I'll make you a salad and you're going to love it. Like pears in my salad. I'm out.

2:20:11That's Rebecca's, my wife's favorite thing. Hey, are you complaining about the salad that was at my wedding? Oh, dude, that was so good. Thank you. Mikey's plate looked like it came right out of the dishwasher. Oh, yeah. I was practically like... He said pears, and I'm like, oh, there were pears in my salad. Yeah, my head was like, where did I just pear salad? At your wedding? That was the only, the only bit of food I didn't like. And I ate like the blue cheese with my finger. And that's all I ate out of the salad. That salad everyone said was the best salad they've ever had. The pears were so fresh. They were like perfect. When you got married, did you do, did you do any, Sienna just got married this last weekend if you didn't know. My wife did the spray tan, which is, it has to, I didn't know anything about it. Did you know that it has to develop? Like a picture? Yeah. Like a Polaroid. Like a Polaroid. You do this spray on tan and she comes out, looks completely normal, like nothing happened. I go, honey, you know. Money well spent. It looks beautiful. Yeah. It looks gorgeous. It's so bright. And she goes, it hasn't developed yet. You have to give it a few hours. And I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Shake you? And like a Polaroid? Look at this photograph. Yeah. I'm like waiting for it. I'll go, so then what?

2:21:28She goes, you can't shower for six hours. And then it'll, you know, I go, are you going to be all Oompa Loompa'd? Yeah. Orange. It looks like an Oompa Loompa. It'd be orange. You know, orange? Yeah. Maybe if you go to the machines, but if you have a professional do it, they don't mess around. Really? A professional will spray you themselves. Wait. Naked? Yes. Really? You have to get naked? Wait. Obviously, if they're tanning your skin, you need to be naked. Sienna. What? You're saying to me. Because I thought it was a machine. They have machines, but those ones are a little bit cheaper. But for the wedding, I wasn't going to mess around. I wanted an even tan. And you got one? Yeah. And they had a human being spray your naked body? My naked body. Oh, no. You have to get in all these awkward positions. No, no, no. Nuh-uh. Yes. It looked really good, too. She did a great job. She did all the bridesmaids. Do you know if they're hiring?

2:22:25Yeah. Gross. I know, she sprays guys, too. Wait a minute. You're saying, you're telling me. What? Yes. That they spray guys? Yeah, she told me. I actually asked her while she was spraying me. I was like, so do you spray guys, too? And she said, oh, yes, I've seen it all. She said one guy even walked out with a sock on. What? Yes. This is in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah. She was like, I could not keep a straight face when I saw that sock. Do you wear goggles? No. What do you... Sienna. What? Okay, do I need to break it down? Do you stand like this with your arms out? Okay, well, yes. She has like a little... Yeah, like the guy from... She came to my house. She came to my house. All the bridesmaids are there. We're all getting it done. And she brought this little tent. You can wear whatever you want. I mean, you could wear a bra. I don't know why anyone would. She did at your house? Uh-huh. And she brought this little tent that we got in. And she got in there with us. And she had this little air sprayer. And there's air blowing on you. And then she controls how much tan comes out. And she doesn't even spray. And you're nudie. I'm naked. We start off. Like, I'm facing her. And I have my arms out. Almost like I'm holding a beach ball or something. You know, like out towards her. Yeah.

2:23:43And so she sprang up and down, all the way up. Then I turned to the side, up and down, lift up my arms, under the arms. And then the bad part was when they had to do the back. Because under your butt. What? Yeah, because under your butt, you know, you could get a line or something. So you have to bend forward. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. No, no, no, no, no. It sounds like prison. It does. It does. It sounds like Oz on HBO. I mean, it's a little uncomfortable, but it's like there's a girl. I didn't care. Oh, my goodness. I know. Some of my friends wore their underwear, but I wanted a nice even tan. My butts never looked tanner. That's hot. Chicks do weird. Chicks do crazy things. Okay, facial. I'm picturing her hot bridesmaids all getting spray tanned right now. Butt naked. Butt naked. All at the same time. Weird. No, we did it one at a time. Chill out. She had some hot bridesmaids. 570-1949. I want to know how far you'll go to look good.

2:24:52Oh, like, I could go forever. Waxing, hello. Mike, you're about to experience something. 570-1949. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. The clock is ticking down on the Cox 7-Day Sale. Don't miss out on our lowest prices of the year. Get both Cox digital cable and Cox high speed internet for less than $29 a month for three months. That's a savings of 50%. Enjoy free HD programming with Cox digital cable and faster internet speeds with Cox high speed internet.

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2:30:33over on the right shoulder. This report also brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? You want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks? A Carfax report can help you. Just say show me the Carfax or go to Carfax.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Are you kidding me? Oh, are you kidding me? Take her. All right. Take her. M1 Lisa? Yes. We're talking about things that you do to, you know, for beauty. And what were you calling to say? Oh, my girlfriend owns a mobile spray tanning business. She's super cute. She would probably come down and spray tan you guys. I'd do it again. Never, ever, ever. Grab a sock, boys. I'm done, I'm in.

2:31:45Woods. I could totally see Jay doing that. Woods, you would get naked in front of a girl? She said she's super cute. She's really hot. Makes it even worse. Makes it even more uncomfortable and, like, insecure. She could, like, spray some abs on you. Oh, please. Self-conscious city, man. See, I would rather, if it was a guy doing it, I would probably feel more comfortable than if it was a girl doing it. Really? Uh-huh. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I don't want some dudes spray tanning me. No, that's a big deal. Dude, that's what I do. Like in my spare time, I got another business. You got a spray tan business? Yeah, I do detailing and spray tans. You're going to detail my body? I know that there's a lot of dudes out there that feel uncomfortable with it. That's why I got a new business. It's called Spray Dude. Spray Dude? Wow. Yeah, it's called Spray Dude. How's it doing? Well, it's doing pretty good. See, the deal is a lot of dudes, they feel uncomfortable and self-conscious like you, Mikey, because you're fit. That's not the deal. Well, it's kind of the deal. But mostly what it is is I just feel weird getting nude in front. It would be weird. Oh, she spray pans her husband all the time. Well, that's easy for her husband. She has a lot of guy clients, too. My wife could do it. I would let my wife do it. Right. Yeah. But my wife has to deal with this. She comes and sets it up.

2:33:04You get in a little tent. She has a little heater. We should do it together as a show, all together holding hands. Oh, my gosh. Let's not do that. I almost just had a heart attack. I almost just had a heart attack. Would those be some great picks for the website? See? If it's someone that you don't know, it's not as uncomfortable. But if it's someone you know, then you're like, oh, this is weird. Go to M1. Go to MikeyShow.com to see the Mikey Show getting spray tanned at the same time. Woodsie. I mean, you should do it. Woodsy. I'll do it. Woodsy. Yeah. You would. Have her come down. Let's do it. Hang on, Lisa. Okay. Woodsy, you're telling me that you would be willing to take your clothes off in front of a woman and let her spray tan you? Oh, me? No, Woods. Woods. Yes. You would? You know what? I would do it for the show. I would not. I would be so. What if she was really cute and you got excited? She's like super tall, long blonde hair. She's beautiful. Oh, I would be mortified. Mortified. I'm scared to death, but I would do it. Jay, would you do it? I'd do it. I think my wife might have some things to say. I would never let Todd do it. See, my wife wouldn't care. I don't think Rebecca would care because she would say, oh, well, that's a tan. You know, it's not like something sexual or something weird. It's a tan. But it's not like a licensed person, you know. Oh, I thought she is. She is. Well, no, but like. She's got a business. I'm not like a doctor. Like, I would.

2:34:30As a woman, not want some other woman spraying my man's junk. Really? No. Even if it's a professional business? So if he wanted to get one before your wedding, you wouldn't have let him? He could go to a tanning bed or something. You would say, I don't want no woman spraying. I don't. That's not anyone else's. Lauren, would you spray? Would you? Would you? Okay. Hang on a minute. Now, I know you wouldn't get a spray tan. I know that's not your style. Right. You know, you would get a real tan. Right? I put sunblock on, Mike. You would put SPF 50 and I would take eight years to get a nice bronze stand. But would you, I know you wouldn't do it for the cosmetic purpose, but could you allow yourself to let someone do that? Yeah. You could? Yeah. If I wanted to get that procedure done, I would. It's because you're in good shape, I think. Yeah. No. You're fit. No, I think after you have to. Get naked in front of your doctor. See, and girls do, guys don't. I don't. Guys don't have to get naked in front of their doctor. What? Last time I went to the doctor, back in 89, I think I had to take my clothes off. I was 14 last time I was at the doctor. What about the whole coughing thing? Jay, what do you got to take your clothes off in front of your doctor? He checks me for hernias and then he looks in the... How often?

2:35:53Once every year. I was there yesterday. I go again next week. Yeah. I may be going to the wrong doctor. I don't know. If you go to a dermatologist, they have to check everything. They do? Yeah. Do you want to get like a skin screening or whatever they call that? My dermatologist has seen everything. Yeah. What? Yeah. What? This reminds me. This reminds me of there was a time in my life, Mike, I really wanted to quit smoking. I don't now, but I did then. I went to one of those urgent care because I wanted, they had a new pill that was out. It was supposed to help you with smoking. Somehow, and this is a God's honest true story. Somehow he ended up feeling, I wanted to quit smoking. I needed this pill. He had his hand down my pants. What? Checking my, I was like, I'm old for you. Probably 21, 22. And I'm standing there and he's examining me and I'm going. Dude, I just want to quit smoking. I just want to quit smoking. I just want to quit smoking. I didn't have, there was nothing wrong with me. Right. And he's like, we're going to check these and bend over. I'm like, what the hell is going on? Trying to quit smoking. Smoking can cause a hernia. That's why they're not at 21. Yes, they can. I know someone. How does smoking cause a hernia? I know someone who has a hernia right now and he's in his 20s. And he, doctor said, doctor said you need to quit smoking. You have to quit smoking. But the smoking didn't.

2:37:16caused the hernia. No, but it's one of the leading... I don't know. He told me that it's like a big part of why he got it. Did not. Maybe you could be more susceptible to it. He didn't need to touch my piece to give me this pill. Wow. And it was really... I was really creepy. It was really creepy. M1 Lisa, here's the thing. I think it's a wonderful offer that you're making to come down here and have your friend come down and spray Tannis. But there is no way... That I would ever be able. What was? How about with your bathing suit on? How about with a tank top on? Dude. Dude. In a thong. In a thong. With a sock. Please. Well, thank you though, Lisa. Sure. Very, very nice. Thanks, Lisa. I would have done it. Again. You're a girl. Wait a minute. Christine, are you there? Yeah, I'm still here. Go ahead. What were you calling to tell us? Well, I used to. to do this waxing like, I don't know, five years ago. Yeah. And I had a client that walked in and she said she wanted her butt waxed. So I thought it was kind of weird. And I told her to get undressed, lay on her tummy and put a towel over her rear. Right. When I came back into the room, she was on all four. At that point, I'd call 911. Yeah. At that point, I'd call 911 and I'd call it a day. I'd say, thanks for coming by, but...

2:38:44You're under arrest. That's her profession. She should have. I wanted her rib. Yeah, I get it. I get it. You don't have to go any further with that, Christine. I think we're all adults here. Genius. Listen, that is the heebie-jeebies. That's like girls go get a Brazilian. They do all of that. What is Brazilian? Can we say on the radio? Yeah. That's all of the hair down there. Goodbye. All of it. Nice work. Beely? Yes. Oh, forget about it. That's ridiculous. Come on now. Why is that ridiculous? Well, it's just... Think about Victoria's Secret models or anyone who's in their bathing suit all the time. Right. Olympic swimmers. They can't have anything down there. Ow. Olympic swimmers. Olympic swimmers. I don't know. I'm trying to think of something where you wouldn't think it was gross. Adult film stars? Yes. I thought that Brazilian... I am very naive. You are. But I thought that Brazilian... just meant that they got rid of any, you know, so that you could wear a bikini. Unsightly? Yeah, unsightly. That's a bikini. That's a bikini wax. Brazilian is goodbye. Really? Yeah. Woods is motioning. Yeah, in between. No. Yeah, the whole thing. They do it all. That's painful, right? It doesn't feel good, but you get used to it. Women are equipped with a higher threshold for pain. There's no question, because I couldn't do it.

2:40:09Childbirth. Though I would like to, I couldn't do it. And when you, when you, when you, Sienna. What? When you call the place. Yeah. Do they, to set up the appointment, do they say to you, well, they give you options? No, they just say what kind you want and you say Brazilian or bikini and they know what to do. They know what that means. Yes. Once again, are they hiring? Okay. Jay. Boy, for every hot one that came in, there'd be one that you didn't want to see. Yeah, there's a lot of shapes and sizes. M1Zia. Hi, Mikey. Hello. Yeah, a spray tan is definitely no worse than a Brazilian bikini wax. Yeah, the thing is, though, is the spray tan doesn't, there's no... Obviously, it doesn't seem like there's any pain involved with the spray tan, just mortifying and embarrassing and humiliating. Stand there for like 15 minutes like that. Forget it. Forget it. It's actually not too painful. The first time, I was a little worried that it was going to be painful, but honestly, the second and third times, they're so professional and so clinical about it that they're really, really quick, and it actually does not hurt that bad at all. Are you talking about the wax or the spray? The waxing, the Brazilian waxing, yes. Ouch. It's not bad.

2:41:25Not bad. Women are different. Women are different. You get used to it. Guys are wimps. Each time it gets easier. Exactly, yeah. And the first time, it's a little scary, though. Oh, yeah. It's a little scary. All right. Thank you for the call. Thanks. Oh, man. You ladies do some stuff. I know. No doubt. You guys are stoked on it, so quiet. Yeah, I guess. M1 Wild thing? Yeah, Mikey. You did a spray tan. Yes. I did. Yes. Right before my wedding, my sister and my wife went to go do it, and I went with them. I'm like, you know, I'm not going to watch them or anything. I watched my wife. And then I was like, you know what? I might as well do it. And it's like, go for it. So, you know, I hiked up my boxers. It wasn't, you know, all like woo-hoo or anything. But, yeah, I did a little spray tan. It wasn't too bad. So was it automated or a human being spraying you? It was a chick that was doing it. It was a chick that was actually doing it. Wait a minute. You hiked your boxers up. Yeah, I got the whole, I don't know, song look. A little diaper? Yeah, you made a diaper. I was a sumo for a little bit. I don't look like one, but I have a diaper. I'm a big kid now. Yeah, you have to shave your legs and exfoliate really good before you do it. Oh, I didn't do that. I just went there. I wasn't expecting to do it. You would have to shave your legs, but we would. Bigger stones than I do.

2:42:50Oh, man. No way. Thank you. Hey, did you have to develop? Yes. Oh, that's for everybody, right? Everybody has to develop? Yeah. That's so strange. I love a good tan, but I hate... Mark that down. Yeah. But I don't like a humiliating. M1 Keita? Keithla. What is it? Keithla. Keithla? Yes. Keithla. I've never heard that name before. It means... It's like Welsh. Welsh. So what did you do? Well, I run a professional beauty supply, and we hold continuing educations for, like, cosmetologists and estheticians. So every now and then we'll hold, like, classes from educators from certain waxing companies to teach, like, estheticians and stuff like that how to do Brazilians and things like that in, like, a classroom environment. And every now and then we'll host... how to do a men's Brazilian. Oh, wow. Oh, man. Can I sign up for that? And that requires me to have to find a model. Oh, wow. Like a live male model who's willing to get a Brazilian in front of women. There's one right next to me. From an amateur, no less. When I wasn't in charge of finding the model and I had one of my coworkers go ahead and do it and she didn't screen them or ask for pictures or anything.

2:44:17And the guy that ended up showing up for the class looked kind of like the comic book guy from The Simpsons. Wow. Worst Brazilian ever. Yeah, what does that mean? He looked like a Simpsons character. When he stripped down, I heard comments from some of the ladies that he was like a big creeper. And he had a tattoo by his junk that said, batteries not included. Oh, wow. That does take a whole different kind of guy to get the batteries not included tattoo. Guys, let me just tell you something. Go ahead. You don't need a man's Brazilian. That would freak me out. Of course it would. Freak me out. Of course it would. Ew. Of course. Of course. Of course. That would freak you out, right? Yeah, only a Ken doll needs a men's Brazilian. Maybe just a trim. If your trees look bigger. If your boy looked like a Ken doll, dude, I don't think you'd be with him. A nice little trim would be nice, but Brazilian on a man, no thanks. Weird. M1 Laura. Hey, what's up? Not too much. Korean dry brushing. Korean dry brushing? I'm doing that later this afternoon.

2:45:33They hand paint you. They hand paint you? I don't know. With banana leaves? They scrub like flakes and pieces of your skin off. You're totally naked. You start out in, like, child pose. Do you guys know yoga? Yeah. Jay does. So you start in child pose. So you're, like, butts, like, but they start to really roll you around. What's the point? What does it do for you? Is it a tan or is it a what? What is this? No, no, no, no, no. It's like an extreme exfoliation process. Whoa. Because your skin's your largest organ. Oh, my goodness. It's, like, the way that you excrete toxins. It protects your body. So, like, maintaining, like, healthy skin is very important. Lauren just showed us what it looks like. Let's see it again. Yeah. She's going to show us what the pose is. So you do that and they scrub you, Woodsy. She's down and then she's like bowing. Yeah. Bowing to an emperor. Yeah, exactly. But she's... Ass up. I couldn't even do that, by the way. I couldn't even get my body to get in there. It's a little tough in these tight jeans. It's a comfortable stretch.

2:46:32On the arms, the shoulders. But the reason that tans have to develop or like some girls walk out of cheap places with orangey, they put like that orange color in it. But really what makes you tan is the sugar that processes on your skin. And so that's why it has to develop. What happens if it comes off or you take a shower? When they put the orange dye in it, that's different. Like, you know what I mean? So you can get the clear one that takes like develop, you know? Yeah, the clear one that develops, what does it do? Wash off after a while? How long does it last? How long does it last? No, it changes your skin. The sugar reacts with the pigment in your skin. Ask this one more time. Like, exfoliates itself naturally, like, what, a week or so, you know? Okay, so it takes a week. Yeah, you know, well, I don't know. I don't know. Everyone's skin is different, you know, based on, like, your hydration. Thank you, Lori. Thank you. I was trying to understand that. Man. I did not know that that's what a spray tan did. It's crazy. I don't want any part of that. The things we do for beauty. That's right. Let's see. Daryl Green. This is a great story. Woodsy was telling us about this earlier. Should we do a little? You ready to do a little? If I was ever nervous about doing sports, I'm not now. I hear it. I laugh. It takes it right out of you. Miguel, we talked earlier about a couple of stories that are big.

2:48:22Where do you think T.O.'s going next? We, you know, the very highly talented but kind of a pain in the butt receiver. The front runner for T.O. right now, they're saying, is probably the Baltimore Ravens. Get out. Yep. They've needed a receiver for so long. But, of course, they're getting one at the tail end of his career. Joe Flacco has pretty much had nobody to throw to in years. But maybe Ray Lewis will keep him on floats in the locker room. Well, Lauren is very strongly opinionated about Ray Lewis. Never convicted. She is. So the UConn women's basketball team, this is something I wanted to talk about. They won last night against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. They won 76-51. Mike, it was their 69th win in a row. Whoa. In a row. 69 wins? 69th win in a row. That's pretty cool. You know what else is crazy about this? Every single win has been by double figures. Really? By 10 or more. How does that make you feel about your fighting Irish? I could care less about women's basketball. Yeah. They could win the national championship. I would not be proud of it. It's true. I could care less. It's true. It's true. So, Sugar Shane Mosley and Floyd Mayweather, easy for me to say, they're getting ready for their big fight on May 1st.

2:49:34And the smack talk is starting already. Here's Sugar Shane. Cut three. It's going to do great things because that's going to be the first step to me being the top of the pound best again. Being Floyd Mayweather and then, you know, being him again and then go ahead and take it on Pacquiao and doing the same with him. You know, I'm here to clean the division up and let the world know that I'm the best fighter here. Yeah, he's going to be the best. He's going to take on Floyd Mayweather on May 1st. I want to see it. I do, too. Maybe we'll get together at your house and watch it. We'll do a pay-per-view. Done. NFL Hall of Famer Daryl Green just recently turned 50 and decided it'd be fun to go run the 40-yard dash. The guy ran it in 4.43 seconds. That is amazing to me. That's NFL combine. That's what guys are coming out running, you know. Like 21-year-old guys. 21-year-old kids. And he's 50. Cut four. I didn't run the 40-yard dash on my 50th birthday to prove that I can go play football. I did it because I was free to do it. I live in America and I can do what I want to do. And I woke up that morning. I wanted to do something fun and special, not necessarily for the fans, but for me. It was just something I wanted to do, and I did it, and it was pretty fascinating. I love that. Can you imagine that, dude? Jay, can you run a 4-4-3-40 in four years? Four years, yes. My goodness. My goodness. And also, Mikey, one of my great friends, Kevin Bullard, also known as Hot Tub Johnny Vegas, sent me a story today that's pretty cool about the U.S. Daredevil. His name is Seth Enslow.

2:51:02broke this so this is cool he's on a harley davidson and he broke the distance jump he jumped 175 feet but then he realized that the cameras that were filming him weren't assembled yet so he went back and he did it again except this time he jumped 183.7 feet i want to see that isn't that incredible i want to see we'll find it all right we'll find it and that's woods on sports i love it listen to this your parents Do anything or say anything to you that's really embarrassing in public? Oh, boy. I hope they're not listening. Jeff Garcia's dad used to call the AM talk shows after games in San Francisco. You're kidding. Yeah. And he would just, if the guy said anything bad on the radio, he would call and yell at the guy. It was Jeff's dad. Wow. I guess I would want to as well, you know. I mean, if it was my kid, I would want to as well. But after a while, he's got to be like, are you a grown man?

2:52:32grown woman and your parents will still say things to you or treat you like you're seven? If so, call this number, 570-1949. The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The next time you need auto parts and accessories, trust the friendly parts people at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts. Our professional parts people know what it takes to get the job done right. Professional technicians have counted on Craig & O'Reilly Auto Parts for decades. Now you can, too. Professional parts, people. It's all part of Craig & O'Reilly Auto Parts' service commitment to you, our customers, and what sets us apart.

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2:56:56For a free rate quote, visit GEICO.com or call 1-800-947-AUTO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. There's no place like Navy Federal for low competitive mortgage rates on your new home. To learn more, visit NavyFederal.org. Eagle Housing Lender. This report is brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. On the 94 westbound before the 5-in accident, two-car accident, they've cleared the road, but they are towing these cars off the freeway. Harbor Drive at the 5-in accident, their earlier rear-end collision, they've moved that. You should be able to get through without a problem. Everything's kind of clearing up this morning. The 805 northbound ramp to Kearney Villa Road, an accident over on the right shoulder, a bunch of debris in the number 5 lane. They are trying to move those vehicles over to a wider shoulder. And the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road and the 5, we've got pretty much. much stop-and-go traffic this morning. Your Toyota dealer's committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours and added associates to take care of your service needs, answer questions, and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. ET San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Mikey's show is myself and Woodsy and Lauren and Sienna and our boy Jay.

2:58:53Happy 22nd show, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations to all of us. Why are you shaking your head? Very nice. You're not happy about 22 shows yet? She's loving it. I'm loving it. Yeah. 22 is my lucky number. I was going to tell you. M1. M1 is a Mikey show listener. All right. So if you listen to the Mikey show and you call into the Mikey show and you turn your radio down and get to the point, don't cuss. That is an M1. It means you belong to the M1 nation. And we love you. So we want you to spread the word and let people know. Mikey shows on the air. And by the way, new FM 94.9 recommended albums. If you want to know about them, just go to FM 94.9 SD dot com. Check out our website and you click on the tab that says recommended for this month's four albums. It's pretty cool. They got four albums there that you'll dig. And let's see. M1 Jennifer is on the line. What's up? Hi. Hi. Good. My boyfriend.

2:59:55I listen to your show every morning. It's wonderful. Right on. Thank you. Okay, so here's the deal. My grandma lived with my mom and I. I'm 21. My mom's 52. And my grandma's 86. And my grandma, for as long as I can remember, has always been bossing my mom around. And, you know, she's a grown adult. And she tells her every time before she goes, even if it's 102 degrees, she goes, oh, get your coat. Don't forget to buy this. And she, like, watches her money so closely. Like, my mom's money. She'll bring home, like, a sandwich. And she'll be like, well, you spent money on this. I don't believe that that's right. And she doesn't allow alcohol in the house. And my mom can't even have a nice coffee. Your mom is 50-something years old. It's her mom's house. Get it out of here. Get that alcohol right out of this house. Tell her. It's a 50-something-year-old woman. Get that wine right out of here. That's awesome. Wow. It's ridiculous. So my mom passes it down to me. So if I go out with my friends and have a drink, I come home and she's like flipping out because that's what my grandma's been telling her her whole life. Right. Hey, Jennifer. Yeah. Just so you know, you'll do that with your daughter. Yep. Just so you know, you're going to do that with your daughter. I hope not. It's hereditary. It's hereditary. Thank you, Jennifer. Yeah, if your parents talk to you, you're a grown adult person, man or woman.

3:01:22And your parents still tell you, my mom is not down with any of the sort of new ways of raising kids. Not down at all. Like time out? All that stuff to her is so, you know, and she doesn't flat out come out and say it. She'll just ask questions with finger quotes. She'll ask questions. So why is it you're doing? Um, that, like that. I don't, why is that? Passive aggressive. Well, we have a, we have a monitor, okay, for the baby. Sure. So the baby's got a little monitor with a, you know, you bring it downstairs, you can hear it. And you can see it. You can see it too. You can see the baby on your monitor. Press a little button and it's got a little thing up there. Oh. They actually used it when I stayed at Mikey's house when I moved here. They actually put it in my room so they could watch me. Yeah, so we could, yeah, check him out while he slept. Yeah. He's really creepy. Make sure I was okay. Not creepy at all. Every once in a while we'd go in there and we'd put Rebecca's dresses on him while he slept. When I was sleeping in Sean's room at your house. That's right. Sean, my former sound effects guy. I miss him. Man, don't we just miss him. I wish you were here. Never even met him. But it's okay that Woods did it anyway. Yeah, it was Sean. Miss you, Shawnee.

3:02:39Let's take a moment of silence for Sean. Sorry, I'm not a weirdo germaphobe. Excuse me, we're trying to, if you don't mind. Hey, amigos. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. So, we're doing, Rebecca's doing this thing. I was going to say we, and I realized that. It's her, yeah. Rebecca raises the boys. So, she is doing this thing. She does, man. She does all her hard work. She's doing this thing called sleep training. And it's to get them off the pacifier. Which is crack cocaine. The twins? Yeah. See, they're still really young, though. Yeah, yeah, they're six months old. Wow, that's early. I had one until I was seven. And I still have one now. Yeah. That's why you're chewing on a Sharpie as we speak. Yep. So, Jake, we got Jake off the pacifier at a year. It was like crack. Weaning him off crack. Oh, it was the worst.

3:03:32He's shaking in his bed. Oh, yeah, dude. It was the worst two weeks. I need it, man. Dad, I need it, dude. Give me one fix. Just give me one freaking second. You have no idea how many pacifiers you own until you take them away because then they'll find them. They find them everywhere. But, yeah, they have a stash of them that they keep somewhere. Like, you know, under their crib, in the couch cushion. They'll find them anywhere. Anyway, my mom comes over on the weekend, and we got the monitor. And Luke is crying and she goes, is he is he is he going to cry like that? And I go, oh, we're doing a thing, you know, called sleep training. And so that's what's going on. And I know it as I'm saying it. I know she's like squinting her eyes, mentally squinting her eyes like what? Like I raised you. You know that, right? Yeah. And so she goes, hmm, what's that? And I said, well, you know, you got to let him kind of cry it out. And she goes, oh, oh, oh, it must be different now. Because, you know, we didn't let the kids cry like that when they were six months old. We didn't do that. You were the last. I guarantee you cried more than the rest. Dude, I'm kind of on board with your mom. Listen, man. I kind of am. It'll work.

3:05:00I kind of am. You do it for two days and it's over. They don't cry anymore. I'll be the dad soaking his thumb and Jack Daniels, you know, here. Just shut up. I'm telling you, man, if you do, then you're going to be stuck with it. Like, it'll kill you. Later, you either pay me now or pay me later. Get it over with. Get them off that stuff. They don't need it. Yeah. I'm telling you, man, we got on a flight with Jake one time when he was still addicted to his crack, his cracksifier. Cracksifier. His pass a crack. We got on a flight. We were going to New York City. Got on a flight and sat down. And Jake was doing the wind-up. The wind-up is where they start. And you know, yep. And it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. So as soon as that starts, I look at her and she goes into the diaper bag to find the pacifier. And it took her longer than 10 seconds, which my heart starts going. Get it. Get it. Where is it? This is taking too long. It's been 10 seconds, 15 seconds, 20 seconds. And I go, and I go, what? What? What? That's all I said. What? What? What? And she doesn't respond to me because she's looking. You know, she doesn't respond. And I go, where is it? Where's the pacifier? He's going to start crying. Where's the pacifier? I'm looking, looking. Mikey, shut up. Yeah, shut up. And she stops, sits up, and goes, it isn't here. It's not here. Panic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I grabbed an airline attendant and I said, I'm...

3:06:29begging you with every piece of my soul. I'm begging you. I beg you to get on that loudspeaker. Get on that loudspeaker and make an announcement that we need a pacifier. That's shocking. Now. I cannot believe you did that. And they got on that loudspeaker and said, is there anybody on board that has a baby with an extra pacifier? And I didn't care if that baby had the swine flu. Because we knew if he didn't have that pacifier. That was going to be a bad six hours. Oh, yeah. Six hours. Oh, it was going to be a bad six hours. I'd flip out. That's when I would flip out as a dad. Did you care more about the well-being of your son or your shame in having the crying kid? Shame. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. You won't even return food at a restaurant. No.

3:07:23But you flagged down a flight attendant. The pain of the shame was so great and weighing down on me like a gorilla. There was no way that I could be the guy with that kid. The screaming child. No, I couldn't take the pain of the piercing eyeballs. Our first child, we were so nervous. And if the binky dropped on the ground, we would get hit and wash it. By the last case, like stick in their mouth. There you go. Yeah, with these kids, the same thing. It's the same deal. Let's see. What have I got? Embarrassing moments. Yeah, we're not really getting the people. I mean, if your parents embarrass you still now to this day, I'd love to hear from them. I've got one. I've got one, too. Go ahead, Jay Bird. Go ahead. My mom still to this day, she will say, well, have you had a good BM? Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. What did you say to me?

3:08:25Have you had a good BM? That is embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Yeah. My dad, God love him, was a really good golfer in his day, and he's still really good. Yeah. But he had a blood clot in his leg, so he didn't play as much as he'd like to. So now his bit, everywhere we go, whether we're waiting in line, whether we're at Notre Dame for a football game, my dad does his fake golf swing. Oh, wow. And he'll do it. He'll do the first part of it. He'll do this. Till he hits the ball. Then he'll do the follow through, the finish. The best thing I've ever heard. Everywhere we go. That's not what I thought you were going to say. Everywhere we go. Everywhere we go. Everywhere we go. Just fake. Fake golf swing. Yeah. There it is. Oh, my gosh. Perfect. It's like, I think it's like, at this point, I think it's a nervous tick. Of course. I think it's a nervous tick. If your dad is doing his golf swing. His invisible golf swing with his invisible golf club? Everywhere. He's going to have an invisible son if he keeps it up. Have you ever told him? Hundreds of times. And he's, what does he say? Oh, get over it. How do you say it? I go, Dad, get it. Stop. What does he say? And I'm 34, my brother's 29, and we're at Notre Dame for football games. I would love to see that. And we're tailgating. And we're tailgating.

3:09:45And we're, you know, we're having a couple pops and some food. And I look over and there's my dad just in front of hundreds of people. Does he say, grow up, Steven. No, he's just. What does he say? Does he respond to you? Yeah, he responds. I mean, he really doesn't respond with like words. He's just, and he kind of gives me the elbow to the shoulder. Right. And I'm like, dude, please. Dad. Please. Dad. Stop. I love that one. The fake golf swing will get you. Now, this is sort of similar. I hope he's not calling it. In terms of a topic, this is sort of similar to when we were kids and we were mortified by our parents. Yes. Mortified. Rebecca has a great story about how her mom used to drop her off at school. And there was like a turnaround where you dropped off the kids, you know, like the turnaround. Yeah. And her mom drove a mini station wagon. Not the big full-size station wagon. Like a Subaru? The mini station wagon. Family truckster. Yeah, with a wood on the side of it. Oh, yeah. Yes. Which was bad, okay? When you're 12 and your breasts are beginning to develop for the first time and you're already in this awkward stage and you're just like...

3:11:03Everybody judges everything about you, and you're a girl, and you're wearing makeup for the first time, all that stuff, right? So the mini station wagon was bad enough for her, but her mom had a tortoise shell camper on the top of it that you put the suitcases in when you would go camping. She kept it on at all times? All times. Oh, my gosh. The camper top. And she was like, you know, Camper Becky. Hey, Camper Becky. She got a nickname out of it. So she asked her mom, please stop here. Block away. Drop me off. Drop me off here. I don't want to roll up in the mini station wagon with the tortoise camper thing on the roof, mom. And, you know, Mama Jean was like, oh, please. Grow up. Grow up. I mean, come on now. See, my mom was like the over-involved parent in everything I did. I couldn't escape it. She was the freaking PTO president at my school. And any auditorium or assembly, she was there speaking. That would have slayed me, dude. I remember one time she was giving away awards for something, my mom. And so she was calling up students, and she would try to hug them and give them a kiss on the cheek.

3:12:26And, like, mom, like, get out. Yeah, mom. You got one, Lauren? Do your parents do anything embarrassing? I'm trying to narrow it down to what the most embarrassing is. The one thing that really bothered me when I was a kid, and I'm sure you guys can probably all attest to this and kids out there, my mom would try to keep me on the kid menu until I was, like, 21. Yeah, yeah. For sure. Same money. Yeah. She'd be like, oh, she needs a kid menu. I'd be like, mom, mom. It really bothered me when I was, like, 13. I'd be like, I'm not a kid. I'm a teen. Yeah. How about parents at sporting events? Oh. So I used to pitch. So loud. And my dad would. And he is. I'll tell you what. The dude is a stand-up guy. And he would hit me grounders. And he'd throw me pop flies. And everything I wanted to do, he'd let me do. Yeah. But, boy, when he'd come to those games and it was between the lines. And he's. I was always number 22. Always. So I would get this from the stands. Come on, double deuce. Come on, 22. Come on, double deuce. And my mom. So they'd be there together. Right. So I'd strike out or something. And this is even when I was like 16, 17 in high school. Yeah. I'd strike out and I'd get the helmet throw. You know, damn it. And my mom, Stephen from the stands. My mom, Stephen. And here's me. Shut up, mom. Just the worst.

3:13:47It was just embarrassing. I'm embarrassing her. She's embarrassing me. Yes. I'm like, God. My grandma would come to the games, and she had this whistle, this unique whistle. Yeah. That, like, she put her fingers in her mouth, and it was like. Oh, yeah. My dad has that. And everyone's like, who? What? Who is that? Yeah, Sienna must be up to bat. I don't know who that is. That's weird. I think it's grandma. And she would yell, Sienna. Go, Cece. Come on, double deuce. M1 Woodchip, are you there? I'm here. This one's pretty good. Your dad does what? Well, he likes going around a little karaoke circuit that he has in his hometown. And whenever he goes, he acts like he channels his inner Jim Morrison. But he pulls out a harmonica. It doesn't matter if he's up there or not. Someone will be singing a song and then the harmonica starts coming out of nowhere. Oh, my gosh. I get phone calls.

3:14:40I'll get phone calls. They're like, I think your dad is doing karaoke right now. I'm like, really? They're like, yeah, there's a guy up there playing harmonica. I'm like, yep, he's doing karaoke. Wow. They're like, hey, does your dad carry a harmonica with him? And with wood chip, that's why you moved away. Yeah, exactly. That's why you moved away. Yeah, they're like, because we're at Red Robin right now. And there's karaoke. Yeah, listen to the back. That's so awesome. That's awesome. That is so awesome. Woodsy, this guy, or no, it's M1 Christina. Her dad does what your dad does, right, Christina? Yeah. And so where will you be? He does it at Disneyland. Golf swing. The golf swing, okay. Fake golf swing at Disneyland. He does it at dinner everywhere. It slays me. It just, yeah, we'll be waiting as a family at the restaurant. And, hey, guys, it's going to be 10 minutes. Okay, no problem. So we're standing around, and he'll be just in the corner doing that swing, and my mom's looking at me, and I'm looking at her, and we're just mortified. We're like, Dad, get it. Stop. That is the biggest dad thing I've ever heard. That is maybe, like, the ultimate. Because the only person that does that is a grown-ass dad. Yeah. Go ahead, Lauren. I just thought of this thing that my dad does. He doesn't do it in public, but if any of my siblings are listening right now, they're going to lose it.

3:16:06He will, my dad's really uncomfortable with talking about, like, serious things, and he gets really, so the more, like, uncomfortable he gets, he'll start stretching. He'll do, like, a flamingo stretch. He'll be like, so, uh, and, like, the more uncomfortable he gets, the more elaborate his stretches he'll get. He'll be like, downward dog. He's doing downward facing dog. So, uh, well. You kind of upset me with what you said back. Oh, it's so tense. Oh, yeah, he does. And you know that you're in trouble because it's like the more elaborate his stretches get. The stretch makes it more uncomfortable. Yeah. It's so uncomfortable. Doing lunges. And will he actually do the thing where he grabs his ankle? Oh, yeah, that's the go-to. That's how it starts. He goes, so it'll either be the behind the shoulder, like. Like Link. Woods just tried to stretch and he knocked his chair over. Hey, I play sports. I don't try to get in shape. What's up, dude? I play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising. That's why I don't run and jog and all that crap. You just sound like the Fonz. I play sports. I don't even know what this is. I'm going to have to have this explained to me. M1 Camille. Hi. Your dad does what?

3:17:24Okay, you think the golf swing is bad? My dad recently became an umpire. Everywhere we go, he'll practice the way he calls strikes. Yes! No! No, no, no! Stink! Stink! Right? And shopping, whatever. And he'll just stop. I'm like, Dad, what are you doing? He's like, ha! Ha! That is brilliant. He's practicing his skill, you know? Like, Dad, we're at Chili's. That is brilliant. I remember we used to have a singing umpire. He would sing whatever it was. No way. I'm not even kidding. He was the best one ever. That's the best. That is so good. That was a great call. Dad, what are you doing? Stu, what did your mom do? Your mom? His dad. Wait, your mom? My mom did that.

3:18:43My mom's like 75 years old, and she's standing up there doing that. She's doing Timberlake, popping blue pills. Oh, my gosh. But they're just M&M pills, right? And everyone in the room is like, no! Oh, no! Oh, that's brutal. M1 Katie, are you there? I'm here. What happened? Well, my dad, when I was in high school, was retired and decided to do everything he could to embarrass me. So my freshman year of high school... He was picking me up in his, like, 1970 four-door light blue Ford LTV, which I told him never to pick me up in. He's driving down the long driveway where you pick up all the kids. We're all standing out there waiting. And I get my foot in the door and my bag in the door, and then he decides to take off down the drive as he's screaming at me to get in the car. He's got to go. So I'm hopping halfway in the car and halfway out as all of the kids are standing out there watching me do this. Oh, no. My dad keeps slamming on the brakes to the front end and big long four doors, looking down and coming back. And he's screaming at me, get in, we have to go. Oh, that is hysterical. That sounds like kind of a deed. No. Like trying to kill his daughter.

3:19:59You know what? He had four daughters and I was the youngest and he chose me to just, that was like one of many stories. Now, was that his idea of funny? Yes. That is hysterical. Oh, he was being funny. He was being funny. I thought he was being mean. Like, get in the car. Let's go. He was doing a thing like, he was going, come on, you got to get in here. And she tried to get in. My bad. I take it back. It's genius. He's brilliant. It's brilliant. Yeah, he was fine with all of my sisters. And then me being the youngest, he decided it was my turn and he was going to let loose. And every time he was with me, it was something embarrassing. How old are you? I'm 34. Are you married? Yes. Is your husband a clown? No, but I turned out to be like my daughter. And so my two daughters are going to have hell probably women. Because you're going to clown out. She's like her dad. She's going to be like her dad. Yeah. That's called the Wayne and Kevin Arnold move. Have you ever seen that episode? Matt does it to me all the time. That's brilliant. And then you wait and he's like, seriously, seriously, I'm not going to do it again. And then you go for the door and you're like... How about this bit? I do the unlock and lock. When they're outside the car, they're like, Jamie, let me in. I'm like, all right, get in. Click, click. Come on. Get in. Click, click. And she's getting hot mad. Oh, that is awesome. Hot mad. Oh, that is awesome.

3:21:19Mikey Show, who's this? Hello? Hello. Hello, this is M1 Gavel. What's up, Gavel? All right, so my story is that my mom was my seventh grade science teacher. A little bit as hard enough as it is, but that's not even the best part. We'd be in class, and she'd forget, well, not forget, but she'd kind of act like we were at home. And I'd screw off. Oh, no. She'd tell me I'm grounded in the front of a crowd. No, no, no, no. Oh, you're going to detention. And I'd be like, I'm not going to detention. She's like, fine, well. Tell me you love me. Oh, my God, in front of the class. Oh, no. I could pretty much get out of it. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. I'm not going to lie to you. Yeah, you should have reported her to the superintendent. Yeah, for sure. You know? That is so... You're grounded. Tell me you love me. Yeah. I'm not grounded. Tell me you love me, then. Pretty ridiculous. Yeah. She's like, you know what? I'm taking the Cocoa Puffs away, and I don't care what you say. They're gone. Gone. They're gone. Raisin Bran from now on. Yeah, Raisin Bran. Cocoa Puffs. You want Cocoa Puffs gone?

3:22:18Then what do you do? Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me. That's fantastic. I love it. M1 Ziggy, you there? M1 Ziggy? Yeah, go ahead. We went to Vegas. This was probably six or seven years ago, so full adults. We went to a buffet with my mom, and it was kind of close to closing time. We look over, and I turn to my mom, and I say, they're throwing all the desserts away. And she immediately just gets up and starts yelling at this poor dessert lady. We paid for our full buffet. We expect to have dessert. And she's just making a scene. And the woman couldn't get any words in. But when she finally does, she says, ma'am, there's another dessert buffet over on the other side. So my sister and I are sitting there heads down. We still haven't even eaten a full meal. So we're having to finish our meal, like, in shame that our mom is. Good thing it was buffet. You didn't have to worry about that food being spit on. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. You want to take more calls? Because I have the mother love. What? The greatest embarrassing story of all time.

3:23:18You do? I do. What is it? I was not there, but my mother was there. It talks about to this day, they went to Paris, my mother and father, and they were vacationing, and they wanted to go see Père Lachaise, which is a very famous cemetery, but it's really kind of far off the beaten path. My dad speaks no French. None, okay? Neither does my mother. They get in the cab, and they're going for a while, and they've been in this cab for a while, and my dad starts visibly flipping out. And my mom's like, Gary, what is your problem? And he's like, how freaking far is this place? So my dad gets a map, and he leans into the front seat, and he's going, distance, distance. He's saying distance, but with a French accent. And he's saying, distance. And the guy's looking at him like, idiot, what are you talking about? Yeah, right. Distance, distance. My mom said she wanted to dig a hole, crawl inside, and the guy's looking like, no wonder we hate Americans over here, dude. Right? Oh, that's funny, man. Distance. Americans do that all the time. Put a little French accent on there, dude. 5701949 is our phone number. By the way. My key. My key. My key. So what is it? Tell me this. What? Do we have to? Do we have to break? We got to break. Break it. Sorry, that's my bad. Sorry, Dad. I love you. Oh, wait a minute. That's abrupt. That was abrupt. That's a long song. That's why. Make it right. Let's do this one.

3:24:47Oh, I like that. That's P. Yorn. That's a great tune. I have this. Are shark attacks up or down? I'll tell you next. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city. Ford Focus delivers up to 35 miles per gallon on the highway and comes available with hands-free sync technology. A Ford exclusive. Today, nobody beats Ford quality. Not Honda, not Toyota. Nobody. Take a new Ford home now and get huge cash rebates, plus financing as low as zero APR. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com or visit your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer.

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3:28:29Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but how about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up. A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. Federally insured by NCUA. Quaker State. So durable that it still passes critical standards for brand new oil even when it's ready to be replaced. Quaker State. Real durable oil. All right. More of the Mikey Show. Fantastic. And now this. On FM 94.9. Yeah, but it's better than hot. No, for you, it's all blowing on you. It was so hot in here. Sienna, it was like a sauna. I sit right by the air conditioner and it blows so hard that papers are blowing all around me. Weren't you sweating? No. You weren't? No. I was enjoying it. Let's do some...

3:30:05Well, what did I say we were going to do? Sharks. The sharks. So the shark attacks up or down? Down. Really? Yes. The number of shark attacks in the U.S. declined last year. There were 41 in 2008 and there was only 28 in 2009. Cyclical. Yes. That's in the U.S. I think those things are cyclical. I bet you it will come back. I bet you it has something to do with Nino. Probably when I learn to surf. More than half the attacks are with surfers. You know, Woods, you're more likely to die sitting on the toilet than you are to get attacked by a shark. Really? Is that true? Yeah, I have a book. I'll bring it in. Really? Mm-hmm. That seems... It's a surfing book. It seems far-fetched because... That's from the surfer's point of view. Well, a man was killed by a great white shark here in San Diego last year, the year before. Are you kidding me? Great white. A surfer? Yep. Never. I'm never going. Actually, he was a triathlete. He was a swimmer. Yeah, he was a triathlete. I'm never going. Yep. I love sharks. I do not. That's my driver's. Great. Aren't they fascinating now? No. They're scary. I just want to watch them in the water. Terrifying. Terrifying. I've told you before, Mike, I want to go in one of those cages. You're nuts. Crazy. You'll see, I will have an accident. Oh, yeah. Number three.

3:31:27Underwater. Underwater number three. Do me a favor. Don't say number three. It creeps me out. I'm sorry. Every time you say it. That's what it's going to be. It is number three, though. You can't say what it really is. I know it, but it sounds so gross. No, it doesn't. It does. Can I say what it rhymes with? No, you don't need to. Everyone needs a smart person. Schmyria. Schmyria. Schmyria. Schmyria. Rhymes with gonorrhea. It sounds like gonorrhea. It's freezing, you guys. It is butt cold in here. I am miserable. Will you grab me a piece of that salt-cured meat that's hanging from the ceiling, dude? There's icicles hanging from that vent. Yesterday, Woods was like a 14-year-old girl. My goodness, it's so cold. In that meeting, it was 30 degrees in that meeting. Garrett in there talking to us. We're eating sandwiches. Please. It was freezing. What did he tell you to do, glue? He said, Woods, quit being a Sally. He said, layer up. Yeah, layer up, kid. You know, Scott Shannon wears a fleece everywhere he goes. He's always prepared.

3:32:31I learned that. Always be prepared. He's going to come in here and shank me. Our boss, Garrett, likes to reference a good buddy of his named Scott Shit. He's not going to break him up anymore. He's a radio legend. How about Barsky? Barsky was never cold. Lived in Seattle. It was never cold. Barsky's my go-to. The guy could make a lean-to out of anything. Garrett, we love you. Love you, Garrett. Even though he does look like Dr. Evil. He does. He is I. And I never made the connection until one of the big guys was in town. He goes, Dr. Evil been in here yet? I'm spitting chicken salad out of my mouth. He does. He's our program director. One million dollars. Let's do some new releases. You got new releases out today? I have some, yeah.

3:33:30Are we going to do video games, CDs, and new stuff to DVD? Mm-hmm. What do we got? Okay. For video games, we have Battlefield Bad Company 2. All right. And that's on Xbox, PlayStation 3, and Windows Vista XP, the computer stuff. Okay. Major League Baseball, MLB 10, the show. We're getting it. PlayStation 3, Nintendo Wii. I think it's out today, isn't it? Yeah, that's why we're talking about it. I thought maybe this week, maybe Friday. That's why we're talking about it. Coming out today. I will be heading it this afternoon. Thanks for listening to the show. Alice in Wonderland on Nintendo Wii. Oh, wow. Really? No, you're the only one, dude. I think it's cool. Comes out today. Dante's Inferno on PSP. Sony's Classic Collection. Oh. On Nintendo DS and Project Runway. What is that? What? Like the modeling show. They have it on Nintendo Wii. Really? Yeah. Design clothes. And the models actually drink champagne and snort cocaine too on there. On the Wii. Pretty cool. On the Wii. Okay. Now let's go to the album. Why don't we check that out? All right. Start with Peter Gabriel. Scratch my back. Get. It's beautiful. I love it already. I do. I can tell it. I love his voice.

3:34:54It is so cool. Dude, how can you not like Peter Gabriel? I just never have. You know what got me? It was Sledgehammer. After I heard that, I said never again. Oh, I thought you were going to say that's when you fell in love. Yeah. Or big time. So much larger than life. I'll buy that today, Peter Gabriel. It's called Scratch My Back. You'll be the only one. Groove Armada. What? Groove Armada, Black Light. Oh, wow. I'm feeling it. Speaking of pacifiers, give me that and a glow stick. Lauren's getting it right now. Yeah, Lauren's getting it with the glow sticks right now. Highlighters. All right. You got on a candy cane necklace with her? Yeah. I love that. Jersey girl, you like this song, don't you? Oh.

3:35:47100%, Mikey boy. They play this in the clubs, right? Oh, yeah. We'd be pounding the floor, starting from the floor to the ceiling. You know, Mikey boy. Doing the Groove Armada. All the guys you hang out with love this stuff, right? Oh, the gorillas? Yeah. Gorillas love it. They shave their chest. They have their nipples pierced. They tan. They listen to the Groove Armada. Correction. They wax their chest. They wax it. They wax it. I kind of like it. Just getting out into it. Jamie Collum, The Pursuit. Sounds like Gavin DeGraw. It does sound like Gavin DeCrap. Sounds like Gavin DeCrap. You're so rough on me. Yeah, he is a music snub. He really is. You called it. I'm liking it now. Weird. Now I think I like it. All right, how about Little Boots? It's called Hands. I think Jay has this in his car. I think it's ironic that I have a little... I think it's ironic I have a little hands and a little bit.

3:37:05Your favorite bed. That's your new nickname, Little Boots. Hey, Little Boots. How you doing? How you doing, Little Boots? That's done. What are you up to? We'll need that on the M1 site later. LB. Little Boots. LB. Little Boots. Lil as in L-I-L. L-I-L. Little Boots. That's my rap name. That's your rapper name. Let's give it up for Little Boots. Genius. Yeah, dog. You want to go on tour with me? Man, you know I want to go on two with you, dawg. Let's do it, man. I'll let you open up a JT. Yeah, JT and Lil Boots. Do we do it up? We all good, dawg. Lil Boots. Lil Boots. There are tears in my eyes. That's my rap name. Okay, Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More. Good stuff. Red Foxx was in that show, right? That's sad. Don't talk over the microphone sounds. Genius. You're such a genius. Why is this genius? I know it. I just, oh my goodness. I mean, I don't understand. What else? Rogue Wave, Permalife. Oh, so good.

3:38:37I cannot pick a song that Woods likes if my life depended on it. I know. Basically. If we had to take a piece of paper and write yes or no, we'd get everyone wrong. That'd be a funny bit. Every single one. Yeah, we should. This next one, we should all write down what we think. Okay. And no one let Woods see. This is the last song. He'll just listen to the group. No, we're not. He has to tell us our answer and then we show what we've got. Don't say who it is. Don't say it. We're not going to say who this artist is. We're just going to play it and then say whether or not we think Woods likes it. Okay, write down your answer. Really? Well, now you blew it. Blew it. Say who it is. No, that was the last one. That was These New Puritans Hidden. We'll remember for next week. I know it. You know what's funny is I just read an article about These New Puritans and I've been wanting to check them out. Well, there you go. Check them out. I'm done. I'm out. You didn't even hear a single word. Play it again. I like it. I like it, too. It's rad. Stop. I like it.

3:39:48Because now he knows who it is. Yeah, now he knows who it is, which means he's just a snob. He's just a snob. He just wants to know that it's a band that he read about in Rolling Stone magazine. Spin. Spin magazine. As long as he read about it. If he did the taste test, get it out of my mouth. It's disgusting. Get. Get. The Pepsi Challenge, I think he calls it. Oh, wait. It's these new Puritans? That's fantastic. That's really a jam. They came highly recommended. It's good. It's a good band. Strong, strong band. Break my guitar over there. Garbage. I'm going to play the brand new Puritans. Is that the name of them? Neil. Give it a try, Neil. They just got off the Mayflower, the brand new Puritans? I think so. Santa Maria. Let me give you a... Ready? Get your key down. You ready? Give me a G. That's right, kid. You ready? New Puritans. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, and... Shut up already. It's distracting. It's distracting. You copy me. I told you. Don't copy me. It makes me really upset when you copy me. Are you such a child that you're going to... Oh, Neil. You guys are such a bull buster. All right, let's go to DV. Oh, sorry.

3:41:41Neil, I think we're running out of time. Please. Let's go to the new DVDs that come out today. Yes. A big movie called 2012, Out Today. Oh, I've actually seen that with Roy Schneider. Yeah, with Roy Schneider. Also, Ponyo. You've seen that too, I bet. I saw it in theater. Ponyo, I did. Is that really what it's called? I took the little one. Because I was about to hit the button. When you said that, I'm like, that has to be a curse word in Spanish. It has Miley Cyrus' little sister's voice and the little baby Jonas brother. Also, Where the Wild Things Are, out today. That was like a huge movie. It's a huge book. That was like the little boy running around in the jungle with the furry animals. Also, Curious George, too. Follow that monkey, which is what it's like still. And Blu-ray on Blu-ray today. Never ending story. Loved that movie. And also Clash of the Titans. Anything good coming out? Yeah. Never ending story was great. Is that it? It was literally a never ending story. Those are your new releases. This was a hit when I was in Dallas. 97.1. There you go. What's going on? It's Chris Ratt. It's Chris Ratt. Saliva or something? Got it, buddy.

3:43:11Remember all we played was ACDC? Around the clock ACDC. Every hour on the hour. Metallica and ACDC. Every two minutes. You ever get into a board game fight? What game do you play with your friends or your family that has caused more fights than any other? 570-1949. FM 94.9. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs. But travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs. Of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into the Chase Zone. Uh, did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know.

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3:49:12But even if there's not, I mean, it just causes a lot of problems. Great. Now, how does explain how that game works? Well, you get into a group of two and different things. Like you have to do like a humdinger. And that means you have to like hum the song or whatever. Or you have to act like the famous person. Or you have to answer like a really hard, you know, question. That'd be fun for us to play here on the show. That'd be really cool. You have to hum. game. It's so fun. And then there's a timer involved and everything, the little hourglass deal. It's really fun. And it's totally for everyone. They even have like, if you have like Play-Doh available, you're supposed to buy it with the game. You can like sculpt out, you know, it tells you things you're supposed to sculpt out and you keep going. It's really a rad game. It's pretty fun. I'll tell you what game would make us on this show probably lose the friendships that we have. It's Scatterworks. Yep, I was just thinking that. Because I would fight you. Because it's so subjective. Oh, yeah. And I would be like, it is not, no, doesn't fit. No way. I would fight you until the end on those games. Let's try it. My family still has an ongoing battle with one Scattergories game that we played. Where the thing was, the question was, you had to fill in a body of water. And the letter we landed on was R. And my grandma.

3:50:32Put rain barrel as a body of water. That's what I said. But other people were sticking up for granny. Rain barrel? Rain barrel. That is a receptacle of water. That's not a body of water. Well, she's a smart woman and she came with some backup. You know, she had it. Let's see. I'm looking it up online. There's no way. I know. Try the Rhine River. That's a body of water. A rain barrel. Yeah, rain barrel is a receptacle. It's a receptacle. Sorry, Grandma. Thanks for playing. You just had to look that up. Hey, grams. Maybe git. Git. Hey. Hey, sorry, Grandma. But a rain barrel is a receptacle. My mom and brother are listening right now like, thank you. Oh, I'm telling you. Listen, when it comes to games like family, forget it. Like, we're family when the game's over. But during the game. Yep. Play to win. Sorry, Ma. You're out. You're done. Ma. There's plenty of desserts in the other room, but you are now eliminated, okay? Do you understand what that means? Go feast. Yeah. And we'll be done when we're done. Have you guys ever played Apples to Apples? Oh, I hate that game. You hate it? It almost cost me a friendship. See? That's why. What is it? It's a great game, but it's like every time the round goes, the judge.

3:51:45And so it's all based on just that person's point of view and which card they think is the best choice. Love it. So you have people lobbying for their own choices and you have people being like, you knew that was mine. That's why you didn't take it. That would drive me batty. You knew that was mine. Let's do it. Just a bunch of babies. Oh, I want to do that. That's why I like games like Trivial Pursuit where it's about your knowledge. I'll be the referee. Oh, I like games. I like subjective games. With Trivial Pursuit, you still get the people that are like, oh, you guys keep getting the easy ones. Go for another pink. There's nothing they can do about it because that's the way that the chips have fallen. So you can cry all you want. I'm still going to kick your ass. M1 Goose, are you there? Yeah, how's it going? This is money. What did you get in fights over? Hey, so, I mean, well, I get in fights over every board game, but I think the deadliest one that I've encountered... so far has been Battleship. Like, you know, you're always, at some point, you know, the person that's playing with you is like, no, there's no way I'm in. You're cheating. Yeah, you're cheating. You moved your Battleship. Yeah. That's the best. That's the best. Five times in a row. Yeah. I love the you're cheating card. The cheating is great. I call that all the time. You're cheating. There's no way I could be losing right now. The person's like, I'm not cheating.

3:53:09And you're like, yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yeah, you are. You're a filthy cheater. You have to be cheating. Did you see my post, the post on my wall from M1 Woodchip on Facebook? Uh-uh. About how Woods was cheating in the game yesterday? What was the game? What was the game? The movie quote game that we played. He said, you weren't giving, he wasn't waiting for his opportunity to talk. He would go, Woods, I'm going to send a lambs. And they said, you know what they said, Woods? What? The fix was in. Yeah. How was the... Fix it. Basically, the implication was we fixed the game for you to win it. Why would you do that? It was fantastic. By we, you mean Mikey and Jay. The greatest thing was, man, the thing that made me laugh so... What was it? Lauren was like, oh yeah. That's my big event. Even when I win, I lose. Someone's a poor loser. I'm filled with a room full of them. They get so vicious. Like Sienna. Sienna gets so serious during those games. Dead serious. Dead serious. I jump. I jump. Oh, it's not fun. Fantastic. Let's see. M1 Woodship, you there? Yeah, what's going on, guys? Not too much. Oh, by the way, Woodship. Yeah. Since I have you on the phone, do we have, like, your email information? You should. I can send it over to you guys. Okay, because we want to waste some more of your time at work because you know what we did? And we even referenced you.

3:54:36Okay. We were at Sienna's wedding and Jay was out of town. Oh, yeah. And so we took a picture where we have our arm up like we have our arm around Jay so that you could Photoshop him into the picture. So we could have a group shot. So we could have a group shot with him in it. And then on the other side, we had, who was it? We left space for Michael Shannon. Yeah, Lauren put her arm around Michael Shannon. She must have lowered it really low to the ground. I was going to try to whip something up for Lil Boots. Lil Boots. So what game did you get in fights over? I've never played a game with more animosity towards people than beer pong. Oh, yeah, dude. People just want to bite each other's heads off. I try not to even play. It just gets ridiculous. Well, what is the argument in beer pong? I mean, you either make it or you don't. Different rules. You can get people trying to bounce balls into the cups, and then it's multiple cups, and then we weren't ready. I wasn't ready. Or they're trying to put the ball out of the cup as it's spinning in, and they're like, oh, we don't allow that. Everyone has their own different set of rules. That's fantastic. All right, guys. Thank you, man.

3:55:51All right, bye. All right, we got to get out of here. You can call us 570-1949 is the number. At the beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. You can call about anything you want. I'd like to thank the FM 94.9 listeners for helping to grow the Mikey Show. Mikey Show is just doing really well. And we're very, very thankful and grateful and blessed and all those words. Really cool. Really, really cool. So we want to say thank you. Oh, and very, very soon, we're going to be doing a thing where everybody gets to get together. We're going to get all the listeners together, and we're going to get M1s together. Remember, an M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you're part of the M1 Nation, you listen to the Mikey Show. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. That's what being an M1 is. And it's also, you know, turning new people onto the show, letting as many people know. about the show as you can and kind of spreading the word, getting the word out there. So just want to let you know all about that. Who's this? Hello. Mikey? Yes. Hey, it's in one Joe Grizz. What's up, man? Hey, morning, Wood. What up? Hey, man, how do you like that mud jug? I loved it, dude. This is the guy that brought that mud jug up here for me yesterday. That's my new spittoon. It's an actual spittoon. I didn't know that those were real and that they really made that. Oh, yeah.

3:57:17And it's rad. Best thing I've ever bought. Thank you, brother. Have you tried tipping it over? Yeah, it won't tip. Yeah, it's all supposed to be scentless, but... He won't use it here because he doesn't want to gross the girls out with it. Yeah. But he uses it at home. Too late. We see him spit in a clear bottle every day. Yeah, what would be worse? The bottle or the spittoon? The bottle. No way. Wait, all right. Okay, I'll bring the spittoon. Don't bring the spittoon. Don't bring the spittoon. I know. That's a good point, dude. Thanks so much again. That was awesome of you. Join us again on Spit Talk. Yes. Thank you for the call. Hillary, what do you have today? What do we got coming up? What kind of music we got? You know, I was inspired by your tip of the hat to your Dallas station. So I cooked up a little God smash. Nice. Some saliva. Nice. I have like this four-hour Nickelback retro. Oh, my God. She's totally pulling our leg. I knew it. As soon as she said it. You know she's going to play the new Mumford and Sons. That's right. And it's good. It is good. That's right. Well, once Woods knew that it was Mumford and Sons, he liked it. But upon first hearing it, it sounded like garbage in his ears. No, that was the new Puritans. The new fresh Puritans. That one, that one, that one.

3:58:35But as soon as he found out who it was, oh, no, no, no, I changed my mind. They're actually really good. I'm in. Sorry it's not Hinder, dude. Okay? That is like, that's the ultimate bad band that you can get me with. With the nips of an angel. You can slay me with Hinder. Like, conversation ends at Hinder. Like, I can't say anything. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. 5701949 is the number. And, yeah. Give us a call. We've got to get out of here. You could do a lot worse than God smack. Dude, it doesn't. I'm not going to play. I stand alone. I don't like it either. I love it. I listen to it before I pitch. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it fires me up and makes me want to rip somebody's head off. Yeah. Perfect. All right, we've got to get out of here. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Tomorrow, we've got a great show because we're doing The Incorporator again. Now, if you've never heard the Incorporator, we have Woodsy call some place in the middle of nowhere, and you get to call us and give us random words, and Woods just has to work them into a sentence. Try to stump me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dare you. Dude, people give him the weirdest phrases and words, and he will call these places and work it into the sentence. Do we know when we're doing Incorporator? Like 730? 730. Yeah, 730 and more. I already got a great one. That little itch could be telling you something.

3:59:57Nice. What in the world? That's the phrase. Oh, that little H could be telling you something. Oh, is that one you want me to do? That'd be fantastic. Easy. Don't waste my time, pal. See you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey shows out late. ET San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.